Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/663955. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Cinema_Bizarre Character: Strify Additional Tags: Manipulation, First_Time, Abuse, Rape, Angst, Slash Stats: Published: 2013-01-31 Words: 1073 ****** Forgiven Nor Forgotten ****** by The_Twisted_Kingdom Summary Strify has nightmares about his First Time... Notes See the end of the work for notes Forgiven Nor Forgotten   Strify peered into the mirror, smiling at his fifteen year old self in the reflection. Raising a hand, he brushed his dark hair back from his face. It had been a good night, and he had woken up this morning feeling extremely happy and content with everything in his life. He’d just raised his hands, stretching them above his head when the bathroom door opened and Jake, his seventeen year old boyfriend of two months, walked in. Strify smiled at him in the mirror. “Good morning.” He said brightly. “Morning…” Jake replied, looking back at Strify. Seeing the way his boyfriend’s eyes ran over him, Strify felt himself blush lightly. “Had some pretty sweet dreams…” Jake added, moving forward and wrapping his arms around Strify from behind. Strify felt himself blush some more as he leaned back against his boyfriend. “Really?” he asked softly. “Mhmm.” Was the only response he got as Jake bent and began softly kissing the side of his throat. “…What are you doing?” Strify managed to get out when he felt Jake’s hand slide up under his shirt. “Your parents…” “Already left for work.” Jake muttered, “We’re alone…” Strify watched in the mirror as Jake then continued kissing his way down his throat. He didn’t know what Jake was doing, but he got the idea when his boyfriend’s hands worked their way down to his hips and began playing with the elastic of his boxers. “Jake…” he began softly, not sure if this should really be happening. “You love me don’t you…?” Jake asked, tugging Strify’s boxers down just a little, until they now sat extremely low on his hips. “Y-Yes, of course I do…” Strify replied, still watching his boyfriend in the mirror. He saw Jake smile. “I love you too…” the older boy said, kissing his neck again. Strify drew a deep, shaky, breath when he felt Jake suddenly push hard against him from behind and he could clearly feel his boyfriend’s erection. Pressed hard against the sink now, Strify braced his hands on the porcelain as Jake pressed harder against him. “…Jake… I’m not sure…” Strify breathed as his boyfriend fully pulled his boxers down. “If you loved me, you would…” Jake said in his ear while tracing his fingers up Strify’s legs. Strify watched in the mirror. He did love him… he was his first real boyfriend, and he didn’t want to disappoint him… but, he was scared. He’d never done anything like this before. “It’s okay…” Jake breathed, now massaging Strify’s hips. “Just spread your legs…” Strify’s breath caught in his throat and he stared into the mirror, looking at his own wide blue eyes. “Wider.” Jake said, moving Strify’s feet further apart with his own, “Good.” Closing his eyes, Strify tried to focus on breathing. He didn’t know what else to do. He loved Jake, and Jake loved him… so, this couldn’t be entirely wrong, could it? Maybe he was ready… Just because he hadn’t thought he was… didn’t mean… His eyes opened when he heard himself let out a soft whimper as Jake pushed him forward a little so he was slightly leaning over the sink. He didn’t want to. He watched as Jake spat into his hand and then lowered it out of Strify’s view, but Strify knew what he was doing. A moment later he gasped when he felt the tip of his boyfriend’s erection press against him. Shaking his head, Strify looked at Jake in the mirror. “Jake, …I don’t want-” his voice died in his throat when Jake’s hold on his hips suddenly tightened and his boyfriend forced himself hard inside of him. Strify let out a guttural scream. Pain shot throughout his body and Strify clenched his eyes shut tight. He heard a grunt from Jake and then his boyfriend withdrew slightly, only to thrust back up inside of him hard again. This time Strify clenched his teeth together, letting out a soft whimper as he felt himself go up on his toes to try and lessen the pain, his knuckles white with the death grip he had on the edge of the sink. “Uh- That’s good.” Jake groaned, his fingers digging into Strify’s hips as he all but pulled the younger boy back down on him as he thrust forward into him. Strify bit his lower lip as he watched Jake in the mirror. He barely recognised him with the twisted expression that his boyfriend now wore as he forced himself harder and harder into the younger boy. Suddenly Jake’s eyes met Strify’s in the mirror and then he’d reached forward, forcing the younger boy’s head down so that he couldn’t look at him. Strify bit back a sob as tears welled and fell from his eyes, as much from the pain as from the realisation that Jake didn’t want to make love to him, he just wanted to fuck him, and fucking did not require eye contact. Biting his bottom lip harder, Strify clenched his eyes shut again and tried to remain as silent as he could. He heard Jake’s breathing become ragged and felt his thrusts become harder and more erratic. Letting out a soft whimper of pain, Strify just preyed for it to end as soon as possible, and when Jake eventually let out a disgusting sound and then leaned against him, he knew it was over. Strify remained where he was, leaning against the sink, his head down as he felt Jake pull out of him and straighten up. “That was good…” Jake panted, giving Strify’s arse a light squeeze. “Thanks.” Strify still did not move. “You did good.” Jake added, before walking out of the bathroom and closing the door behind him. Only then, did Strify release his hold on the sink and lower himself slowly to the floor, not bothering to keep his sobs in any longer. He couldn’t believe what his boyfriend had just done, and what was even worse… he couldn’t believe that he had let him. - Strify awoke gasping for air around his sobs, and pushing his blond hair from his face to find himself covered in tears. He sat bolt upright when his door suddenly flew open and Yu hurried inside, looking around. “What’s wrong?” his friend demanded, “I heard you screaming and crying…” Strify just stared, his heart thumping against his ribs as he looked at his friend. Yu looked like Jake. End Notes I made myself cry. 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