Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/7794757.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Peter_Pan_-_J._M._Barrie, Peter_Pan_&_Related_Fandoms, Peter_Pan_(2003)
  Relationship:
      James_Hook/Peter_Pan
  Character:
      Peter_Pan, James_Hook
  Additional Tags:
      Romance, Teen_Romance, First_Love, Gay_Sex, First_Time_Blow_Jobs, First
      Time, Neverland, Yaoi, Sexual_Inexperience, sexual_awakening, Comedy,
      Voyeurism, Graphic
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-08-17 Updated: 2017-05-28 Chapters: 13/? Words: 26394
****** Forever Neverland ******
by JasonPeace
Summary
     After Peter Pan returns from Earth alone, without Wendy or the Lost
     Boys, he must find a new game to play in the now lonely Neverland.
     But with whom? All pirates are dead and Captain Hook was eaten by a
     giant crocodile... Wasn't he?
     The Darling's visit changed Peter's life more than he's initially
     willing to admit, but eventually he can't ignore it any longer and he
     must face the biggest enemy of all. A far more dangerous and
     thrilling one than ever before: his own feelings.
Notes
     I'm not very active on this site at the moment, but the story is also
     posted here https://www.wattpad.com/user/JasonPeace where I update
     more frequently. Sorry about that
***** Prologue *****
There could not have been a lovelier sight, but there was none to see it.
Except a strange boy who was staring in at the window. Peter Pan had countless
joys that other children could never know, but he was looking at the one joy
from which he must be forever barred.
“To live, would be an awfully big adventure,” he whispered to himself as he
looked in through the window at the Darling family who had taken in his band of
Lost Boys, leaving him behind on his own.
Tinkerbell yanking his hair pulled him out of his thoughts and he grinned at
her, turning away from the window to fly off.
“Peter!” Wendy called after him, running to the open window. “You won’t forget
me, will you?” She asked, staring up at him.
Peter paused in midair, looking back at her. “Me? Forget? Never.” He grinned at
her.
As he turned to leave with one last wave, Wendy called after him. “Will you
come back?”
He would not. But he couldn’t bear to see her devastated so he turned around
and smiled. “To hear stories,” He smirked, “About me!”
Wendy smiled, despite there being tears in her eyes; she probably knew he was
lying.
He turned away as Tink twirled around him, excited to be going back home, and
they flew away into the darkening London evening, never to return again. He was
done with the world; done with children and Kensington Gardens; done with
families; and above all, done with grown up stuff. Because even though all
children grew up, he would forever remain the exception.
Even if he was left behind alone in Neverland. No more Wendy, John or Michael,
or the Lost Boys… And above all, no more Hook.
It was only now that he realized the mistake he had made. He had killed the one
person who had shared his entire life; all his adventures had started and ended
with him. His arch nemesis. The villain of his life story. The man he hated the
most in the world. The one who had given his life meaning. Because without a
villain, there could be no hero; but if Peter wasn’t the hero, who was he?
Who was the great Peter Pan without Captain Hook?
***** Chapter 2 *****
James gasped as he finally broke the surface of the water, engulfed by soft
moonlight and the sweet, cool night air that filled his burning lungs.
Though for a moment back there he had intended to surrender to his fate and
die, the moment the crocodile’s giant jaws closed around him he had regained
his will to live; or at least his will to kill that wretched little brat.
With the last remains of his strength, he swam towards the close shore, glad
the salty water washed away the beast’s blood on his skin. Finally that
horrible creature that had lusted after his blood for centuries was dead. One
less threat to worry about.
Shakily, he finally crawled ashore, collapsing as soon as his feet were fully
out of the water.
‘Just another day in Hell,’ he thought bitterly, rolling over to stare up at
the beautiful, star filled night where he saw his beloved Jolly Roger sailing
towards the full moon, levitated by a million glowing fairies.
Pan had ultimately taken everything from him. Maybe he should have stayed
inside the crocodile and died, after all. His comrades were dead - either
killed by Pan, eaten by the crocodile, or drowned by mermaids – and his life;
his love; his ship was sailing away into the horizon with the person he
detested more than he could word.
 
~*~
After leaving the Darling family behind, Peter joined the fairies onboard the
Jolly Roger again so they could head home, though Peter didn’t know for what.
There was nothing left in Neverland.
For the first time in… a very long time, he felt desolate and lonely; a feeling
he had always hated and made sure never to feel.
“What do we play now, Tink?” He asked as he took his place at the wheel. He had
always wanted his own pirate ship.
Tinkerbell flew around him in circles while she giggled in excitement of a new
game. But what game? There was no one left to play with. Peter didn’t like
playing alone.
Of course there were all sorts of other creatures in Neverland: the mermaids,
fairies, Indians… But of course he wasn’t crazy enough to mess with mermaids,
so no to that; fairies were all so grown-up, aside from Tink, so they bored
him; and the Indians… Well, they were a tribe that he didn’t really have much
in common with. They weren’t like him; they didn’t long for adventure and
excitement.
No one was like him… The closest to being like him had been Hook: unchanging,
un-aging, fierce, bold, brave and wild.
“Did I make a mistake, Tink?” He asked quietly. “Of course not!” He answered
himself right away. “I’m perfect. I don’t ever make mistakes. How silly of me
to think that!” He shook his head with a laugh.
Tinkerbell also laughed, flying around frantically.
“I’ll just find a new toy to play with!” It’s not like Hook had been that
special. Right? Of course not!
Peter laughed delighted as they approached Neverland where the sun began to
rise as soon as it saw him. Today would be another wonderful day in Neverland;
he would rebuild his kingdom; he would find a new group of Lost Boys, and
another lost pirate ship with which he could have epic battles.
His earlier dreary thoughts about losing Wendy were almost gone, and he had
completely repressed his earlier promise of never returning to Kensington
Gardens. The only feeling he had difficulty shaking off, was the unusual one he
felt every time he thought about Hook. He didn’t even have a name for that
feeling, because it was one he had never felt before. However, it felt a little
similar to when Hook had said Wendy would bar her windows and he would never be
able to get in… What was that feeling?
Peter shook his head in annoyance; he hated feelings. Such stupid, useless
things. He should banish them from his kingdom.
Once they reached the coast, the fairies set the Jolly Roger down in the water
right where they had fished it out, and then they all disappeared in the warm,
morning sun.
Tinkerbell had found her sleeping place in Hook’s hat that Peter had left lying
on deck, next to the wheel, so Peter was left alone with his thoughts on the
ship that suddenly seemed much bigger than before. For a split second he felt a
little uneasy onboard the large vessel that had always been sworn enemy ground,
but he quickly pushed the feeling aside; he finally had a ship to explore!
There were probably a whole lot of great things to discover, such as armories
and the gun deck.
Peter rose into the air with a delighted laugh, flying through the ship’s masts
and lowered sails; where would he start exploring?
Before he could make up his mind, however, he spotted something on the beach.
Or more like, someone. He couldn’t really tell from the distance, but there
seemed to be someone lying on the beach there. Had one of the pirates survived?
Peter giggled in excitement, pulling out his sword immediately; a battle was
exactly what he needed right now, to fully shake the dreary feelings from
earlier. Not that they were a problem for him, of course, he could handle silly
things like feelings… But just to be sure.
“Woohoo!” Peter yelled as he approached the beach, swooping down with such
force that the water sprayed to all side before he landed in front of the
pirate, ready to battle, only to pause dead in his tracks.
“Hook,” Peter gasped, kicking off the ground a few feet, just to be safe, but
Hook wasn’t moving.
Peter remained suspended in midair, unsure what to do. He was overcome with an
unusual sensation that felt as if someone had lifted a heavy weight off his
chest that he hadn’t even realized had been there.
Hook was still not moving. He just lay there. Was he dead? Peter had thought he
was… He had been swallowed by the crocodile… Had he really managed to claw his
way out of the belly of the beast?
As much as Peter hated to admit it, he was impressed. But of course only for a
second because he would totally have been able to do the same. Except it
wouldn’t have been necessary because he was way better than Hook anyway, and
wouldn’t even have gotten eaten to begin with.
“Hook!” Peter said loudly, but there was no answer.
Carefully, Peter landed next to the unmoving captain and gave the man’s leather
boot a soft kick with his bare foot. Nothing happened. Maybe he was dead.
The thought gave Peter an uneasy feeling again, which he quickly banished.
“Hook!” He said again, kicking the man a little harder, but there was still no
reaction.
Peter sighed; Hook was so boring today. And Tinkerbell was sleeping… And the
Lost Boys were in London.
Pouting, Peter sat down next to the unmoving captain, crossing his arms in
front of his chest. This was not the kind of day he wanted to have.
Eventually he lay down in the sand, closing his eyes against the brightness as
his mind was flooded with memories of yesterday. The battle against Hook in
which he had nearly died… Tink nearly dying… And Wendy giving him that…
He opened his eyes. Wendy. The thimble. Except no… It had been a… a kiss.
Peter brushed his fingers against his lips, remembering the feeling of her soft
lips against his. What had that been? Was it one of those things that became
clearer when you grew up?
Slowly he turned his head to the side, looking at the unmoving man lying next
to him. Had Hook ever gotten a kiss?
Peter sat up to get a better view of the pirate’s face that lay nestles between
his wild, dark curls. For the first time, Peter had the opportunity to really
study his enemy’s face at will, and he was surprised at what he saw.
Though Hook was the vilest, nastiest and most bloodthirsty man Peter had ever
encountered, he also had a surprising elegance of diction, and in that moment
was the handsomest man Peter had ever seen.
The first time he had ever paid attention to such things, had been recently
with Wendy; not that those two could be compared in any way to each other, but
both had certain qualities that Peter had never noticed in anyone else before.
He had never enjoyed simply looking at someone before.
But now that he did, he found himself transfixed. Did Hook’s lips feel like
Wendy’s?
Mesmerized, he reached over to touch them. They did not feel like Wendy’s at
all; her lips had been soft, warm and smooth. Hook’s were coarse, dry and
stained with blood.
It was only now that Peter noticed Hook was injured. It wasn’t like Peter to
pay attention to what others looked like or what their physical condition was,
but now that he took a moment, he realized the captain’s clothes were torn and
covered in blood. Was it his blood or the crocodile’s?
“Hook?” He whispered. Was he truly dead…?
Hesitantly, Peter leaned over him and carefully pushed his hand between the
man’s thick hair to check his pulse, however before he managed to feel
anything, he received such a hit to the head that he nearly blacked out as he
was tossed into the hot sand.
A moment or two went by in which he tried to compose himself before he managed
to look over at Hook who didn’t seem any better off than him. The pirate
captain had sat up, but looked disoriented and confused.
“You!” He snarled hoarsely as he finally turned his head over to look at Peter.
Peter was back on his feet in an instant and pulled his sword with a laugh;
finally it was time for some fun! “En garde, Hook!”
“I don’t have a sword, you moronic imbecile,” the man said with a glare,
getting up and completely ignoring that Peter wanted to fight with him.
“Did you lose it?” Peter teased with a laugh, flying down with such force that
he knocked the man off his feet. Hook groaned, collapsing on the ground and
coughing.
Peter laughed for a moment, but stopped when he saw the blood on the sand. What
was wrong with Hook? Why was he being like this today? Peter just wanted a
good, fun battle. Stupid Hook for being hurt.
“What’s the matter, Hook? Can’t take a hit?” He teased again, flying down anew
to give him another shove. He was angry that Hook was ruining his mood. Why was
that happening? Hook was usually never hurt… He was Hook. They always fought.
Why was it suddenly different? What had Wendy done…?
Even though the shove had been quite light, Hook had tumbled over in the sand,
panting heavily.
“Stop being so weak and pathetic!” Peter laughed, trying to keep his mood. “Get
up and fight!”
But Hook didn’t.
Peter frowned, landing next to him in the sand. Hook’s eyes were closed and he
was breathing quickly. “Get up,” Peter ordered sternly. He didn’t like this
Hook. He didn’t want him to be lying there. He wanted the fun, angry Hook that
was always good for a fight.
“Get up!” Peter said again, wanting to kick him, but Hook suddenly grabbed his
foot, yanking him down to the floor.
Peter laughed triumphantly for a second and tried to fly away, but the
captain’s iron hook suddenly slammed into his stomach with such force that he
was unable to breath. The punch to his stomach was followed by one to his jaw
which nearly knocked him out.
In a sudden fit of pain and panic, Peter tried to fly away again, but Hook
pulled him back down by his arm, delivering another hit to stomach. This time
it was hard enough to make him cry out in pain. What was happening here? Hook
didn’t fight like this!
In all their thousands of battles over the years, Hook had never truly injured
him.
As he received another blow to his face, Peter felt his flying ability
beginning to slip away in fear. “Stop!” He cried out, trying to shield his body
with is arms against Hook’s sudden, brutal attacks. “Hook!” He gasped as the
man punched him in the side again. “Stop! I don’t want to play anymore!” He
cried, tasting blood in his mouth.
“Play?” Hook asked quietly, wrapping his left hand around Peter’s neck so
tightly he barely managed to breathe. “We’re not playing anymore, Pan. The game
is over.”
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Notes
     Hey everyone! Thank you so much for reading x3 wow this fandom seems
     to be popular... or maybe I just got lucky xD I usually never get
     that many reads on my stories... thanks a lot <3333
Peter gasped for air and winced from the intense pain; he had never been in so
much pain before. He was so scared and confused; what had suddenly happened?
He blinked up at the man whose body was nearly crushing him and keeping him
from any flying attempts. “What?” He whispered hoarsely, trying not to cry from
the pain that had brought tears to his eyes.
“I’m tired of your games. I’m not playing anymore,” Hook said darkly. “I want
to go home.”
Peter was still bewildered, but too scared to argue. “T-the Jolly Roger is
right there,” He winced, turning his eyes towards the beach. Was Hook so upset
because Peter had stolen his ship? He knew how important the ship was to the
captain, but this was… too much.
“No, Pan. I want to go home. Back to reality. Away from Neverland,” Hook said
quietly.
“What?” Peter asked weakly.
“I want to get out of this prison!” Hook snarled angrily, tightening the grip
around Peter’s neck. “I want to live again. Among humans! I want to age again.
I don’t want to be in Neverland anymore and I know you’re the only one who can
come and go from this hell as you please. You and those damned fairies whose
dust I need to get out of here! Take me out of here or I will kill you right
now,” He threatened angrily.
Peter had seen Hook angry many times; actually he had never seen him anything
but angry, but never had he been as menacing and angry as now. And up until
now, Peter had never been truly afraid of him, not even when Hook had
threatened to kill him so many times. Right now he wasn’t scared of dying; he
was scared of something far more terrifying: the pain Hook was suddenly willing
to give.
“Now, Pan!” Hook snarled angrily, his ocean blue eyes gaining the unnatural red
glow Neverland cast upon them every time the man was ready to kill.
“All right!” Peter cried out before Hook was able to sink his iron hook into
Peter’s chest. “All right… I will get you out. I will take you and your ship
back to Earth.”
Hook glared at him for a moment, but he had lowered his hook and the hand
around Peter’s neck had loosened a bit again. “Do I have your word on that?” He
asked intensely.
“Yes. I swear I will take you to Earth,” Peter promised, too terrified to say
anything else.
Hook nodded slowly, releasing his neck and getting off him. Peter’s first
instinct was to fly away immediately, but he found himself unable to. He
couldn’t fly… Why couldn’t he fly?
Horrified, he realized he was too scared. But no matter how much he tried to
banish the fear and all other horrible feelings that suddenly captured his
heart, he couldn’t.
“Let’s go then,” Hook said impatiently.
Shakily, Peter stood up, wincing from the pain and spitting out blood from the
blows to his jaw. How was he supposed to take Hook home if he couldn’t fly?
“Pan!” Hook said angrily, giving him a hard shove that nearly made Peter fall
over. “You gave me your word!”
“I-I… Later. Not right now,” Peter winced, trying to keep his voice steady.
“No. Now,” Hook commanded darkly.
“No,” Peter argued, trying to put on his bravest face, but obviously that was
useless because Hook was by his side in an instant, choking him again.
“Now, Pan,” he said quietly.
“I…I…I can’t,” Peter whispered, feeling completely humiliated. It was the first
time he had admitted to not being able to do something…
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Hook snarled, giving him such a
strong shake it made Peter feel like a rag doll.
“I-I can’t fly!” Peter admitted bitterly. Why was this happening? How had
things gone from so great yesterday to so terrible today? He didn’t want this
day! He didn’t want to be here – why was this happening? He wanted to be able
to fly and feel good and go home and play with Tinkerbell…
“What do you mean, you can’t fly? What are you trying to play at, you
despicable runt?!” Hook almost yelled.
“I don’t know!” Peter defended weakly. “I don’t know what’s wrong, I can’t
fly…” He desperately tried to find a good feeling to hang on to, but right now
couldn’t find any. He felt as if his entire life were falling apart like a
house of cards and all he could do was stand by and watch. The Lost Boys were
gone… Wendy was gone… Hook was more terrifying than Peter had ever given him
credit for…
“Fine. I’ll wait until you can then. And until then, you’re coming with me
since you can’t fly away,” Hook sneered maliciously.
Peter couldn’t object and was in too much pain to try and fight the man off who
dragged him along the beach by his arm, towards the pirate cove where they kept
rowboats. Every step sent painful jabs up his entire body, and Peter bit on his
tongue to keep from whimpering. Crying in front of Hook was not something he
wanted to do ever again.
~*~
As they walked along the beach, James stole a glance at the boy silently
hobbling along next to him. Had he been too rough? It hadn’t actually been his
intention to seriously injure the boy – he had actually always believed the kid
was unbreakable – but he’d been so angry. Was Pan not as special as James had
always thought? The boy seemed just as injured as any other person would have
been, so apparently when it came to that, he wasn’t more magical than James.
Up until just now, their battles had always remained rather civil; mostly sword
fights, the occasional cut that had never seemed to bother Pan, and hurling
childish insults at each other; but James was tired of that. And this whole
ordeal with flying had given him the rest; he had been so close. For one second
in time he had had the glorious ability to get out of here, but now it was gone
again. Obviously fairy dust wasn’t very long lasting, or simply not strong
enough for someone as screwed up as him because the whole ‘think happy
thoughts’ thing hadn’t worked at all.
Now all he had to do was figure out if Pan was lying about his ability to fly,
or simply wait. Surely whatever ability the boy had would come back if it was
really gone? It had to come back… Otherwise James would be stuck here for
another 200 years…
After an agonizing, long walk, they finally reached the cove where they always
kept a few spare boats. To James’ great surprise, the boy hadn’t attempted a
single escape; which was quite wise of him because without his ability to fly,
he was no match whatsoever. Even though Pan was a good swordsman, his lack of
strength and body mass made him an easy target without magical abilities to
help him.
“Get in,” James commanded, pushing the boy towards one of the boats.
The kid tripped over the side of the boat, landing with a painful groan inside
the vessel. James winced internally; that had been an accident. Heavens, this
boy was useless without his ability to fly which he truly didn’t seem to have,
or that wouldn’t have happened.
James pushed the boat further into the water and then jumped in, beginning to
row back to his ship. Great… It was quite a while away from here and his entire
body still ached. This would be a horrible trip. And it was all the brat’s
fault… How he hated him. Even in his pathetic, beat up state.
The journey back to the ship passed in silence again, and by the time they
finally arrived, James thought he would pass out from pain and exhaustion. He
needed a nap… But first he needed to decide what to do with the kid… It’s not
like he could just let him run around or he would fly off as soon as he
regained the ability.
“Let’s go,” he said gruffly, dragging the flimsy kid down to the bilge where he
had a few prison cells. Would he really lock the boy up like an animal? Eh… Who
cared anyway, it’s not like the kid couldn’t handle it. James was well aware
that Pan wasn’t as delicate as he looked.
“Get in there.” He shoved the boy into one of the small cells and then shut the
door, locking it. “Let me know when you can fly again,” he said coldly, walking
away. Pan said nothing.
James felt a little bad for the nasty treatment, but then he remembered that
this was Pan: spawn from hell. Generally, James hated kids, but none more so
than Pan; with his utterly careless, happy, free spirit that drove James crazy.
Mostly because he was jealous and the exact opposite; he was bitter, paranoid
and imprisoned in a beautiful paradise that he loathed.
~*~
Peter sighed heavily, sitting down on the cold, damp floor that smelled
terrible. What had happened today? He had been in Neverland for so many years,
but nothing like this had ever happened… Of course, lately everything had been
rather unique: Wendy, her brothers, the fight with Hook, the Lost Boys leaving
him… And now this. Now he had lost his ability to fly and was imprisoned on a
pirate ship.
All of those were things that confused and bothered him, but none of it as much
as the feelings that were overcoming him. For countless years he had been able
to keep his own feelings at bay, but ever since Wendy had come to Neverland,
everything had spiraled out of control, and right now he was unable to ignore
it any longer.
Until recently, the only feelings he had known were happy and light –
everything else was banished immediately – but lately more and more dark
thoughts began haunting him. He didn’t want this – whatever it was – he wanted
to go back to before, when everything had been perfect and carefree.
Exhausted, he finally lay down on the cold, hard floor and tried to force
himself to sleep in hopes it would clear his mind from this horrible day that
had brought him nothing but pain and confusion.
Surely tomorrow everything would be back to normal. Tomorrow he would already
have forgotten all about it, regain his flying ability and take captain Hook
home.
Captain Hook… Why did he want to leave? Wendy had wanted to leave too… She had
wanted to grow up. So much for sleeping…
Why did people want to grow up? What was there better than here? He remembered
Hook calling Neverland a prison… Was that how the man felt?
Peter groaned in exasperation. He didn’t care how the man felt! Or at least he
didn’t want to care. All he had to do was take him back to Earth as soon as he
regained his flying ability. But why did that thought make him feel so...heavy?
There it was again; that horrible pressure on his chest that felt as if Hook
were standing on him with his heavy boots. Why did he feel like that every time
he thought of the man leaving? Did he not want him to leave?
No. Of course not. If Hook left, who would he battle with? But Hook no longer
wanted to fight… By now he just wanted to kill Peter – but not in a fun way.
Why was Hook spoiling everything?! It was just what Wendy had done… What was
wrong with them all? What more could there be in the world than this? Life in
Neverland was perfect; why did no one aside from him see that?
And thus, Peter came to the decision that he would not take Hook to Earth. Or
at least… not yet. He had promised he would, but they hadn’t agreed on when, so
he had plenty of time. He would keep Hook here – he just had to be more careful
around him because he now knew just how dangerous and violent the man could be
if he wanted.
Yes! He had found a new game! A far more dangerous and exciting game. He
couldn’t wait to start playing.
 
***** Chapter 4 *****
Peter groaned as he slowly drifted out of sleep. His body ached like never
before and his mouth tasted disgusting from the blood that had gathered there
the previous day. This had to be the worst morning ever…
Then he remembered his plan to fight a dangerous, tricky Hook, and his spirits
were back with full force. He laughed in delight and immediately felt his body
becoming weightless again, making him feel like himself. Today was promising to
be a wonderful day!
“Hook!” Peter yelled, hoping the captain would hear him.
Apparently he had, because after a few moments, the man came down into the
bilge. “Able to fly yet?” He asked coldly.
“No, but I have to go to the bathroom.” Hook wasn’t the only one who could play
dirty.
“What’s stopping you?” The man asked irritated.
“Ew. In here? But then it’s going to be even more disgusting than now. Besides…
you don’t have any cabin boys anymore, so you’d have to clean that up yourself
eventually,” he grinned at the man who pulled a disgusted face.
“Fine,” Hook growled, unlocking the cell.
The moment the man had opened the iron door, Peter flew into him with as much
strength as he had, knocking him to the side and flying away as fast as he
could, laughing hysterically as he heard the pirate cursing at him.
“Pan!!” Hook screamed after him, but Peter was already high in the air, away
from the ship and any impending danger.
Laughing all the while, Peter flew back to his secret hideout to boast to his
boys about the great escape he had managed. It was only once he arrived there
and found the place deserted, that he remembered they weren’t here anymore.
Though it dampened his spirits a bit, it wasn’t enough to actually get him
down. “Tink!” He called. “Tinkerbell, where are you?” He flew through the lair,
searching for the tiny fairy for a while until he remembered he had left her in
Hook’s hat yesterday…
Oh no! That meant Hook had her! He needed to rescue her! It was the perfect
opportunity to attack the new, evil Hook. Except he was still in a lot of pain
and his body was covered in various large, ugly bruises that hurt with every
movement. Maybe he should wait until tomorrow? His injuries generally healed
very fast, so he’d be good in no-time. Yes; tomorrow he would attack!
~*~
James groaned as he walked back out onto the deck; he should have known that
contemptible child couldn’t be trusted. He should have just killed him… But
then he would never get out of here.
‘Same difference,’ he thought bitterly; it’s not like Pan would help him
anyway. He was stuck here for good… It was almost unbearable to think about.
Especially because now he was all alone… No more Smee who would do stuff for
him… No more Eucrates who cooked for him, or Bill Jukes who always polished and
took care of their guns…No more Noodler with his dimwitted hands that had
always made James laugh.
Though he had never shown it at the time, he had appreciated his pirates in his
own way and was actually quite upset that they were gone. Mostly because he now
had to do everything on his own – like Pan had pointed out so considerately –
but also because he now had no one left to talk to. Though his crew hadn’t been
much of a conversation, it had been better than nothing at all; what was a
captain without a crew? 
How was he supposed to go on like this?
Before the final battle with Pan, they had gotten all their resources from the
island – usually by assaulting the Indian village every once in a while – but
it’s not like he could do that on his own. Where was he supposed to get
supplies from? It’s not like he could plunder the Indians on his own… Did that
mean he had to actually… steal from them? In secret, like a petty thief? Ugh;
this was all Pan’s fault… He would kill that deplorable child the next time he
dared to buzz around the ship.
With a dark growl, he returned to his cabin where that annoying little fairy
immediately started cursing at him. He had locked her back up in that old lamp
when he had found her sleeping in his hat; he had no idea what he wanted with
her, but a hostage couldn’t hurt. He knew how much the magical creature was
worth to Pan – maybe they could bargain?
Unless of course the little demon escaped from him before Pan noticed she was
gone… Maybe he should just kill her to get the message across to Pan that he
wasn’t fooling around.
Hesitantly, he leaned down to take a closer look at the bright, hysterical
fairy that fluttered around in her glass prison, cursing angrily at him.
“There’s no such thing as…” He paused as the fairy screamed horrified, knowing
she was about to die. Should he really…? It’s not like he’d never killed a
fairy before but…
Shaking his head with a sigh, he turned away from the lamp; killing the little
creature wouldn’t help him either. Plus, he was feeling melancholic and didn’t
actually want to kill anyone. For once. Funny feeling. 
He had been so angry with Pan – the way he usually always was – but somehow
right now he just felt defeated. Similarly to how it had been right before the
crocodile swallowed him. He was so tired of Neverland; of these ridiculous
child games; of being here; of never growing old; and above all, he was so
tired of being alone.

~*~
The following morning, Peter had regained most of his strength and his bruises
were nearly gone; it was time for a new adventure!
Laughing in delight, he whizzed through the thick forest towards the beach
where the Jolly Roger was resting in its usual place. Peter had to be careful;
somewhere on that deck was captain Hook, and he was out for blood. Well he
always was, but now more than ever before.
With a quiet giggle, Peter approached the ship, flying just below the waterline
to avoid being seen, should Hook be out on the deck. Once he reached the ship,
he silently glided up the stern, peeking into the captain’s dark quarters, but
they appeared empty; was Tink in there? He’d check later; first he had to find
Hook.
Slowly and quietly, he peeked over the broad, wooden railing onto the back
deck, but there was also no sign of Hook. Where had the captain gone? He was
usually always either in his quarters or on deck… What else did a pirate
captain do?
In total silence, Peter landed on the back deck from where he snuck down the
stairs to the quarter deck that had usually always been filled with pirates.
The ship seemed so much bigger when it was empty…
Behind Peter, underneath the captain’s cabin, was the armory from which they
had stolen all their swords a few days ago, and from which he now heard sounds.
Slow, even, metal strokes; Hook was honing his sword.
Peter grinned in delight, sneaking closer to the armory and peeking in through
the small window on the door. His shadow fell across Hook who immediately
lifted his head, but Peter was out of sight before the captain could spot him. 
Apparently the pirate had become suspicious though, because a moment later, his
heavy footsteps approached the door.
Though Peter’s initial reaction was entertainment and thrill at an upcoming
battle, a twinge of fear suddenly twisted his stomach, startling him. Fear was
something he didn’t usually know, but now he felt it… And he hated it.
Before Hook reached the door, Peter jumped into the air and flew away,
unwilling to feel this way. He would not be scared of Hook! He had never been
scared of anything in his life!
With a pout, he landed on the bowsprit, crossing his arms and sulking for a
moment. Stupid Hook for making him feel this way…
Gingerly, he ran his fingers across the tender bruises; though they were almost
gone, he could still feel them when he applied pressure to them, and the memory
of how he had attained them let him shudder. Was that really what Hook would do
to him if he ever captured him again? Usually Peter had always been able to fly
out of harm’s way, but… What if something like that happened again? And what if
it could be worse? Surely Hook would have been able to inflict even more damage
if he had so wanted?
Maybe he should wait a while before confronting Hook again… Observe him to know
what he was up against, the way he had done right after Hook had gotten here.
Of course it wasn’t because he was a coward! He wasn’t scared of Hook – that
was just silly! No; he was just going to put off their battle because he was
smart and wanted to evaluate the situation. Yes, that’s right, because he was
definitely not scared of Hook!
And so, Peter decided to observe Hook instead of attacking him, for lack of a
better activity. There were no more Lost Boys to keep him company and Tink was
held prisoner in Hook’s quarters from which Peter was too sca- smart to rescue
her right now, so that left him with little to do.
It only took Peter one day to realize that spying on Hook was incredibly
boring. The man was doing random, mundane tasks on his ship most of the day,
such as cleaning up the mess Peter and the Lost Boys had made there.
Occasionally Hook prepared himself something to eat or busied himself with
cleaning guns or honing swords while Peter hid high up in the sails, making
sure his shadow wasn’t creeping around somewhere on deck.
From this distance and during these activities, Hook didn’t seem dangerous at
all. He didn’t even look angry… Peter had never seen him with such a neutral
expression before; Hook didn’t seem to be displaying any emotion whatsoever.
Once Hook retreated to his quarters at sundown, Peter yawned lazily and
returned to his hideout. What a waste of a day. Grown-ups were so boring… No
wonder he didn’t want to grow up. The only good thing the day had brought was
that Peter was now over his… hesitation of attacking Hook because he had
gathered enough information to get over it, and was now ready to attack at
dawn!
 
Early the next day, Peter was gliding silently over the misty water towards the
pirate galleon. Today would be the day he rescued Tink and fought the evil
captain Hook! Finally things were going back to normal in Neverland.
However, just as Peter jumped on deck with a drawn sword to attack, he heard
the splashing of rudders. Where was Hook?
Carefully, he peeked over the railing just in time to see the captain leaving
on a longboat, headed towards the pirate cove. ‘Seriously?!’ Peter thought in
annoyance. ‘Why can’t we just battle for once?’
Where was Hook going now? Peter growled in frustration and flew up towards the
warm, morning sun where he settled in one of the soft, comfy clouds and pulled
out his telescope to watch as the man slowly rowed towards the Black Castle.
The castle had been built many years ago by Hook’s pirates as their lair while
they were not on their ship, but they had never used it much so it was rather
rundown meanwhile.
Once Hook’s boat finally disappeared in the Black Castle, Peter slowly flew
down to see what Hook was up to. Sometimes the pirates had captured and killed
Indians there, but it was rare; did Hook have a prisoner in there?! Peter
giggled with the excitement of a new adventure. It had already been a few days
since he hadn’t rescued anyone from the Black Castle, so it was about time Hook
did something fun.
Without a sound, Peter crept along the dark stone walls of the large castle,
listening for any sounds from the captain, but all he could hear was the
constant crashing of waves against the rocks and the trickling of water all
around him. Sword in hand and bubbling with excitement, he made his way down
the slippery steps that led to the large hall which was open for boats that
came in from the sea, and hosted that giant dragon statue he had always loved.
The entire castle was cold, damp and creepy, and screamed danger and pirates;
the perfect place for an epic battle.
Tied to one of the stone bridges, was Hook’s boat, that the captain had already
vacated. This was the perfect moment to attack! Except, Peter realized
crestfallen, Hook was unarmed. Why was he unarmed? The captain never left his
ship without his sword! What should he do now? It’s not like he could duel with
Hook if Hook was unarmed…
With a pout, Peter sat down in the claw of the beast, watching as Hook walked
over to one of the many, small freshwater pools that were filled with the
mountain water that ran down across Neverland and ended in the sea here.
Well this day had a terrible start! Dumb Hook for forgetting his sword – he had
ruined another day for Peter. Maybe Peter should fly back to the ship and get
Hook’s sword so they could fight…
However, before Peter managed to make up his mind, Hook suddenly shrugged out
of his elaborate, blue-golden jacket, draping it over a few rocks before he
began to remove the white shirt he wore underneath that.
Peter blinked in confusion; why was Hook undressing himself?
 
***** Chapter 5 *****
The captain continued with the removal of his clothes, staking them neatly on
the rock next to the small river that lead into the pool, until he was fully
undressed, for the first time revealing to Peter how the hook was attached to
his body by leather straps around the man’s shoulder and chest, which he
loosened before pulling his wrist out of the hook’s cap.
Peter had never seen the man’s severed arm before; it was scarred and brought
back memories of their first encounter on which Peter had cut the captain’s
hand off, in their very first fight. It was right after Hook had arrived in
Neverland; the captain had been so stunned at seeing a flying boy, he had
barely been able to defend himself. Looking back on it, it had been an unfair
fight.
All memories were soon chased from Peter’s mind when Hook began washing
himself. Slowly and daintily, given he only had one hand to use. The pirate
captain was quite handy with his hook, using it for practically everything he
did every day, but without it he seemed somewhat… fragile. Making it all the
more fascinating.
Peter stared transfixed. Of course it made sense – there wasn’t a lot of
freshwater on the ship – but Peter had never really thought about it. And above
all, he had never seen Hook without his clothes on. He looked so very different
from Peter.
His skin was far darker and covered in countless scars, most of which probably
came from Peter’s sword; Peter himself had quite a few from the captain as
well, but his skin was so pale they didn’t stand out so much. On the man’s left
shoulder there was a painting on his skin; it looked like a crest of some kind;
Peter didn’t recognize it, but was unable to tear his sight away from the image
that moved slightly with the flexing of the man’s upper arm muscles. It was the
biggest difference between them and one Peter had never taken into
consideration: Hook was strong. Underneath the man’s wet skin, Peter could
easily make out the groups of muscles across his body, all of which were very
easily visible even in the rather dim light of cavern.
Even though he hated to admit it, Peter was jealous. He himself had the flimsy,
weak body of a child while Hook… looked like that. Not that Peter wanted to
look like that, of course! It’s not like he wanted to be a dumb grown-up, but…
there was still something very interesting about Hook’s body that kept Peter
from returning to the ship to get the captain’s sword.
During the entire time the captain washed himself, his back was turned to
Peter, giving Peter plenty of time to admire the sight without being spotted.
Eventually, the captain went from his crouching position into a kneeling one,
and remained like that, barely moving. What was he doing?
Peter couldn’t see much from his position, but obviously the man wasn’t washing
himself anymore because the only movement came from his left hand which moved
in slow even strokes, similarly to honing a sword. Why was Hook honing a sword,
naked, in the middle of the castle?
Wait… Hook didn’t even have his sword with him. But then what was he doing?
Overcome with curiosity, Peter flew a little closer, landing on one of the
rocks right behind the captain. Even though he couldn’t see more, he could hear
it; the man’s slightly ragged breath, as if he were doing something exhausting.
But he was just kneeling there…
Even more curious than before, Peter slowly began moving to the side, trying to
catch a glimpse of the man’s activity without being noticed. He kept his sight
firmly on Hook’s head, just in case this one was alerted, but as soon as the
man’s face came into view, Peter saw his eyes were closed. And there was an
unusual expression on his features; he was biting his bottom lip slightly, and
there wasn’t a trace of that usual anger in his face. He looked so… relaxed. If
that was even a word to describe the usually angry, riled up captain.
Very slowly, Peter let his eyes travel lower, past the man’s wild mane and
toned chest, to…
Peter stared with wide eyes. What was he doing there?!
Hook’s hand was slowly stroking up and down his… What was that body part called
again?! Peter didn’t really know because he never thought about it; it was just
the thing hanging between his legs that he used to pee. But that didn’t seem at
all like what Hook was doing there.
And why was that so… big? Peter swallowed, thinking about himself; no way there
was such a big difference between being a child and a grown-up. Sure he knew
grown-ups were bigger, but it’s not like he was that much shorter than Hook –
maybe a foot and a half or so. Besides, Hook was very tall, even for a grown
up; Peter was almost as tall as some of the other pirates had been.
All thoughts of anything else in the world flew from Peter’s head as Hook
suddenly groaned. But it was different than the usual groans Peter had heard
from him; they had been from pain, whereas this… this sounded completely
different and created a whole new type of excitement in Peter’s stomach. One he
had never felt before and had no name for, but it made his breath hitch in his
throat.
Especially when Hook did it again, a little louder this time. The man let his
head fall back, his dark curls cascading all around him, as his hand’s
movements became a little stronger and faster. Peter was captivated by the
expression on the man’s face that he couldn’t really describe; it wasn’t
happiness, sadness or anger… It may have bordered on pain except… that wasn’t
really it either. Peter couldn’t name it, but it made his mouth go dry and let
his heart beat wildly; for some reason he wished Hook would open his eyes so he
could look into them.
And then Hook suddenly slowed down until he came to a full stop, the only
movement now coming from his rising and falling chest as he took deep, even
breaths.
Peter blinked in confusion, tearing his eyes away from Hook’s face to look down
at what else had been going on. The man’s hand was still holding himself,
though Peter could have sworn that his… thing had become… smaller? Did that
even make sense? Since when did body parts change in size?!
Then his eyes fell on a weird, white substance stained across the man’s thighs
and the dark stones between the pirate’s spread legs. Had that been there
before as well? No… Surely not… Had that come out of his… thing? But… Peter was
so confused, however before he could come to any conclusions, Hook began
washing himself off the weird substance and then got up, to get dressed,
starting with his hook.
Peter hid behind his rock, waiting for his racing heart to calm down. He had no
idea what had happened, but it had enticed him far more than any game ever had,
no matter how thrilling it may have been. His stomach was churning with an
unusual, hot sensation that almost made him sweat despite being in the rather
cold castle, and his hands and feet tingled with an indescribable feeling.
It didn’t take long for Hook to be fully dressed, and he soon returned to his
boat, while Peter was still sitting on his earlier spot, kneading his freezing,
trembling hands until long after Hook’s boat had left the castle.
He had never been this confused in all his life. Back when Wendy had been
there, there had also been a few things that had confused him; things he felt
about her and what she said regarding feelings he didn’t want to feel. Or what
she had said about… feelings becoming clearer when you grew up. Was this one of
those feelings? Was this something only reserved for grown-ups? But then why
was he feeling it? He had no grown-up feelings… Or did he…?
What had Hook felt while… doing that to himself? Peter was sure it was
something good, even though he couldn’t decipher the look on the man’s face.
Very hesitantly, he slid his hand between his clothes of leaves, petals and
cobwebs, to touch his own thing, but nothing at all happened. Slowly he moved
his hand in the same way Hook had, and though it wasn’t unpleasant, it also
didn’t feel different than if he were rubbing his arm.
More confused than before, he removed his hand again; why had Hook enjoyed this
so much? That had been enjoyment, hadn’t it? Peter felt as if it had, even
though he couldn’t explain why.
He had no idea what had happened, but he knew it was something exciting,
dangerous and somewhat… disgusting. Something like… Hook.
Peter was completely enthralled. He needed to find out more.
 
~*~
By the time James was back on his ship, the sun was already high in the sky and
it was beginning to get quite warm. Lazily, he lay down in the middle of the
main deck, staring up at the pink, candy-like clouds. It was the first time he
could just lie there and do nothing at all. It was the first time in hundreds
of years he didn’t have to be a captain. Maybe being all alone was nice for a
few days… He hadn’t even thought about it yesterday, but today earlier when he
had finally found the time to… take care of himself after bathing, he had
realized how nice being alone could be for a change. He had been cooped up on
the Jolly Roger for centuries with his pirates, and though he could always
retreat into the privacy of his quarters, it was also nice to be outside once
in a while. Or to jerk off whenever he felt like it; something he had barely
ever done in the past few years because there were always too many people
around for his taste.
Of course he was well aware that he would soon come to hate his loneliness, but
for the time being, he enjoyed it. He had an entire ship for himself – one he
couldn’t really use because sailing such a large ship alone was nearly
impossible, but at least he could lie out on deck, sunbathing while he waited
for that malevolent boy to show up and attempt to rescue his fairy.
 
Unfortunately, Pan made no such attempt whatsoever. It had been over a week
since Hook had imprisoned the little fairy, and still no Pan. Where the hell
was that damned child?!
 
~*~
Peter growled quietly as he watched Hook’s morning routine. Every day for the
past week, Peter had followed the captain to the Black Castle where the man
washed himself, and sometimes even swam in the freshwater pools there, but that
was all he did. Why wasn’t he doing the other thing?! Whatever it was – Peter
didn’t have a name for it so he decided to just call it ‘that thing Hook did’ –
Hook didn’t seem to be interested in doing it again. But why not? Peter wanted
to see it again… He wanted to see the emotional game playing on the man’s
features; he wanted to know what it was; and above all, he wanted to hear him
while he was doing it. Peter wanted to feel that strange excitement again that
the captain’s moans had provoked; so why the hell wasn’t he doing it anymore?!
After Hook was done washing himself, he slid into one of the small pools and
swam a few rounds while Peter silently cursed him. Was there some way to get
him to do that again…?
Peter muffled his giggling with his hand as a brilliant plan occurred to him.
‘Oh, the cleverness of me!’ He congratulated himself happily.
~*~
After swimming a dozen short laps or so, James got out of the water again, not
really in the mood to swim. His food supplies were almost out and for today he
had planned to sneak into the Indian village; something he dreaded. What if
they caught him? What did Indians even do with their prisoners? Kill them? Skin
them alive? Eat them? Or worst of all, give them over to Pan?
The first thing he did after getting out of the water, was strapping the hook
back onto his body because it facilitated the rest of the dressing process.
Just as he was about to reach for the remains of his clothes, loud splashing
distracted him and he looked over towards the open ocean in alarm, but there
was nothing there. Before he managed to look around any further to figure out
what was happening, Pan flew into him impossibly fast, knocking him into the
hard rock of the wall.
James groaned in pain and surprise, trying to push himself away from the cold
stone, but Pan flew into him again, knocking the wind out of him and…
“What?” James asked in confusion, yanking on the shackles that suddenly pulled
his arms above his head. Pan could be unbelievably fast when he wanted to be…
But… since when did he ambush people like this?!
As much of a plague as the boy was, he had always been a noble plague who
fought fair and didn’t… ‘Shackle people when they are naked!’ James shrieked in
horror, just now remembering this very humiliating fact. He yanked on the
chains again, but they were fixed somewhere above him and unwilling to let him
go. Where the hell had Pan gotten those irons from?!
Oh wait… they were James’… He had them in here to tie up his prisoners, such as
those kids that had been chained in the same irons less than two weeks ago… Oh,
the irony.
“Pan!” He yelled angrily, trying to pull his wrist out of the hook cap, only to
realize it wouldn’t get him anywhere; it’s not like his severed arm was good
for anything without the hook that was caught in irons. This couldn’t be
happening.
***** Chapter 6 *****
“Pan!” James screamed again, starting to panic; out of all the uncomfortable
situations he had been in in his life, this was definitely top notch.
Pan landed in front of him, staring at him.
“What the hell are you doing?!” James snapped angrily. This wasn’t like Pan at
all; the child wanted to swordfight; he wanted epic battles; adventures; or
whatever other crap, but this… this was something else. What was happening
here? And what was that expression on his face…? He looked almost… No. James
shook his head; Pan was not looking lustful. Pan was a child. James was just
going crazy.
~*~
Peter swallowed, feeling his entire body trembling with excitement and… fear?
Right now he didn’t even have time to banish any feelings – he had to
concentrate on Hook. But what should he do now that he had chained him to the
rock? Hook’s hands were tied, so it’s not like he could do the thing… Maybe
Peter should ask him? No wait… that was stupid. Hook would never agree to let
Peter watch, right?
But Peter really wanted to hear him groaning like that again…
“What the hell do you want, Pan?” Hook snapped angrily, pulling on the chains
again, in vain; Peter had made sure to secure them properly in the iron hooks
attached to the rocks.
Should he tell him? But he didn’t dare… Not only because he was sure the man
would refuse, but also because he didn’t know how to say it… He didn’t even
know what the man had done, and saying ‘I want you to do the same thing you did
the other day’ was far too vague and stupid.
If contemplating what to do weren’t hard enough, he was also incredibly
distracted due to the sight before him that let his pulse speed up as if he
were in the heat of battle. The man’s hand and hook were held up slightly above
his head by the chains, giving his arms just enough freedom to bend slightly,
but not enough to reach anywhere. His hair was still wet and tangled around him
in an incredible mess that made him look like a wild animal, especially due to
the anger that was present in his deep blue eyes that looked like a stormy,
dark ocean. The muscles on his stomach and chest were flexed, and his legs were
spread to keep a balance on the uneven, slippery rocks. But what caught Peter’s
attention more than all of that, was Hook’s ‘sleeping’ thing… Meanwhile he had
learned that that was its usual state and size, and that what he had seen on
that first day had been a special occasion; but how did one wake it up?
~*~
James stared at Pan. Was the boy seriously looking at his… No way. What the
hell was he gaping at?!
Earlier he had been too worried to feel self-conscious about his body – because
seriously, Pan was a guy as well so it’s not like he’d never seen one before
and James wasn’t exactly shy, having been living with other men for centuries –
but Pan’s shameless staring was making him nervous.
“Pan!” He yelled again, finally getting the boy to look at his face instead of
his crotch. “What are you doing?” James tried to sound angry, but even he
noticed the uncertain edge his voice had. Did Pan suddenly have a far more
sinister intention? Did he intend to kill him in cold blood? Like this?
Shackled to a rock? That didn’t sound like Pan at all… The Pan James knew
wanted to win fair and square, preferably in a duel – not like this.
Maybe Pan wanted revenge for the beating James had given him? Was that it?
Would he just… beat the hell out of him and then let him go…?
Very slowly, Pan finally came nearer and James braced himself for whatever pain
the boy intended to inflict on him; surely it wouldn’t be too bad? How much
strength could that kid possibly have?
Though when he got enough momentum and flew straight at him, he could deliver
some pretty heavy blows… Great. This day just kept getting better and better…
James glared angrily, though he was completely confused as to why Pan suddenly
stood so close, right in front of him. He tensed his muscles, expecting the boy
to punch or something, but instead he placed a freezing, shaking hand against
his chest and lifted his head so James could look into his bewildered, confused
and somewhat expectant eyes. What the heck was he playing at now?
“What…?” James muttered. Was Pan waiting for him to relax so he could kick him
in the guts, or what?
Pan bit his lip; he looked so nervous. James had never seen the boy nervous
before; it made him even more nervous himself. And it only got worse when Pan
hesitantly began… caressing (?!) him. Or what was that supposed to be?
~*~
Peter tore his sight away from the pirate’s angry glare while he tried to keep
breathing and moving steadily, though his entire body was so worked up he
barely managed to keep himself from screaming in confusion and thrill. Hook’s
wet skin was soft and incredibly hot against his cold hands.
Underneath the captain’s skin, he felt the hard muscles that quivered as Peter
ran his hand over them, following their curves with his fingers.
What would happen if he let his hand travel lower…? He had no idea why, but he
was… scared. But it was a fear that he loved; one that made his heart beat with
anxiety even though he had no idea what he was anxious for.
He lifted his head to look into those haunting eyes again. Hook’s earlier anger
had been somewhat overwritten by confusion; did he not know what Peter wanted?
To be fair, Peter didn’t even know what Peter wanted, but he had thought that
perhaps a… grown up would know. Maybe he just had to make his intentions a
little clearer?
~*~
James wanted to yell in confusion, but had no idea what he was yelling for or
at. Pan was many things that James hated, but up until this moment he had never
been confusing; Pan was predictable and always played with open cards, so what
the hell was going on right now?
The boy’s icy, shaking fingers slowly began moving further down as the kid
lowered his head to look where his hand was going. Tentatively, his fingers
traced the muscles on James stomach, brushing aside the few drops of water that
hadn’t dried up yet. Where the hell was he going with that hand…?!
“Pan,” James muttered, feeling his stomach clenching. He was starting to get a
sickening feeling; surely Pan didn’t intend to… injure him there, right? Was
Pan seriously so twisted?
Up until now he had always taken the boy for a careless idiot who just wanted
to have fun, but this situation was turning dark and terrifying at a remarkably
fast pace.
The boy lifted his head again, giving him another one of those expectant looks.
“What?” James asked desperately. Couldn’t the kid just move along with whatever
messed up plan he had? The wait was agonizing.
Pan bit his lip nervously while his hand blindly moved lower, almost making
James squawk. He wanted to move out of the way but couldn’t; not just because
of the shackles, but also because he was standing on very uneven ground that
made it hard to keep his balance and he was afraid to slip and dislocate his
shoulder in the process.
“Pan!” James yelled, yanking on the chains right before the boy reached his
apparent destination. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” He snapped
angrily.
A jolt of fear shot through James’ stomach as Peter suddenly grasped him,
winding his freezing fingers around his delicate flesh. What the hell was wrong
with this abhorrent child?!
~*~
Carefully, Peter ran his fingers across the impossibly soft skin; not even
Wendy’s skin had been that soft. Was he hurting Hook? The man didn’t look very
happy. Hook looked… scared. Peter had never seen him like that before; it was
so unlike him. But why was he scared? Was Peter being too rough? But he was
barely touching him and Hook had been so much rougher on himself the other day…
“Pan!” Hook yelled for the tenth time that day. “What the hell do you think
you’re doing? Get your hands off me!”
Peter frowned, looking down at his hand; how had Hook done this…? He tried to
remember exactly what the man had been doing; slow, even movements. Nothing
complicated… Carefully he began doing the same, in a slow rhythm.
~*~
James almost screeched as Pan suddenly began stroking him; there was no way he
was trying to do what James thought he was attempting, right?
“W-what are you doing?!” James stuttered, trying to budge to the side, nearly
slipping on the wet rocks.
Pan lifted his head again. “Is this how you did it?” He asked tentatively.
“What? D-did what?” James asked confused; his mind was such a jumble right now
he was unable to concentrate on anything.
“The other day. When you were doing this…” Pan said quietly, placing his other
hand on James’ chest.
“What…. What day?” James mumbled, trying to explain to himself that this was
not the kind of situation it appeared to be; Pan was evil and trying to kill
him. Yes. That was what was happening.
“Last week. I was watching you. After you bathed…” Pan said even lower than
before, coming so close that James could feel his cool breath on his wet chest.
Pan had been watching him masturbate?! James almost groaned, trying to keep his
body from responding to the constant strokes. He jerked off once a decade and
then that execrable child saw it?!
“Stop it!” He yelled angrily.
“Why? Don’t you like it?” Pan asked intently.
“No, I don’t! So get your heinous clutches off me!” James snapped furiously,
though half his anger was directed at himself because he was slowly starting to
get hard, no matter how much he tried to concentrate on other things. It didn’t
matter how much he tried to tell himself that this was probably a sick trick of
some kind – it didn’t even matter that he knew who the person was, doing it -
it had been such a long time since anyone had touched him there, he had
completely forgotten what it felt like. The last time he had been intimate with
someone had been before he arrived in Neverland… And now that damnable scamp
was seriously going to…
“Liar,” Pan whispered, giving him an intense look that sent shivers down James’
spine; what in heaven’s name had happened to Pan?!
~*~
Peter smiled triumphantly as he felt Hook finally reacting to his attention,
even if it was only a little bit. It assured him that he was on the right
track.
“Pan,” Hook said with a slightly unsteady voice. “Why are you doing this?”
Obviously the man was trying to reason with him.
“Because you don’t,” Peter replied honestly; if Hook had done this himself, he
wouldn’t have had to. Though… maybe he liked this more. It was even more
thrilling and a new game that he had never even known existed.
“Because I don’t what?” Hook asked harshly, again pulling on the chains that
were chafing his wrists.
“Do this.” Peter still didn’t know what to call it.
The pirate captain stared at him in confusion. “So what? What the hell do you
care what I’m doing?” He asked frustrated.
Peter licked his lips that suddenly felt really dry. “I like it when you do
it.”
~*~
An unusual wave of excitement rushed through James’ body at the words, and he
felt himself shivering. What was wrong with that demonic child?
“Well, I don’t like you doing it, so stop it,” he said as firmly as he managed.
It was half true; he hated the fact that it was Pan doing this, but he also
couldn’t deny that he was starting to enjoy the sensation, no matter how much
he hated himself and Pan for it.
“I don’t believe you,” Pan replied in that husky, low tone that was so unlike
him.
“I don’t care what you believe! Stop it, right now!” James yelled furiously.
This was all so wrong…
“Or what?” Pan asked, giving him a challenging look.
***** Chapter 7 *****
Or nothing, of course; there was nothing at all James could do to free himself
from this horrible situation.
“Get off me, you odious whelp!” James yelled frustrated, trying to concentrate
on something other than what was being done to him. It felt so good… He hadn’t
felt like this in so long… He had long forgotten the pleasures of the flesh
that were not part of this children’s fairytale land. He had long forgotten how
extraordinary another person’s touch could be.
Even if it was Pan’s…
“Damnit, Pan! Stop it!” He cursed, terrified at how easily he was starting to
give in to this.
The boy said nothing, but simply continued with his task, staring at him so
eagerly that James finally turned his head away, hiding his face in his arm and
glad his hair fell all over the place so at least he wouldn’t have to look at
the person who made him feel this way. He didn’t want this… Well actually that
wasn’t true – he wanted it more than he could say – but not from Pan! Not from
a man… Even less from a boy! This went against everything he believed in –
which really wasn’t a lot, but a sexual relation to another man was just… so
wrong in every way. Had he been into that, he wouldn’t have been so unthinkably
lonely ever since he got to Neverland.
Eventually, his mind was so clouded by desire that he decided to blame it all
on Pan and wash all guilt off himself; he was tied up and unable to do
anything, after all. It was all that loathsome child’s fault. If he ever
managed to get out of this, he would kill the runt, even if it meant staying in
Neverland for the rest of forever.
But at the moment none of that mattered; not Pan or Neverland, or the rest of
eternity, because he was spiraling down into an abysmal pleasure from which he
never wanted to recover.
~*~
Why had Hook turned his head away? Peter didn’t like that at all - he would
much rather be able to see him - but all he could see was the mess of tangled
hair over the pirate’s shoulders. Why was Hook upset about this? Unless Peter
had misunderstood, this was exactly what Hook had done, so why didn’t he want
it when Peter did it…?
While his right hand was still busy with gentle strokes, Peter used his left
one to brush aside Hook’s wet curls, revealing the man’s face that was leaning
slightly against his arm. Hook opened his eyes, turning his head to glare
angrily.
“What?” He spat bitterly. Though he looked so angry, his voice was feeble and
faltered slightly; what was going on with Hook…? What exactly was Peter doing
here? He knew it was something he shouldn’t be doing, though he didn’t
understand why.
“You’re so quiet,” Peter whispered eagerly; was he doing it wrong?
“E-excuse me?” Hook stuttered outraged, his eyes widening slightly.
Peter tightened his grip a little, eliciting a surprised gasp from the man.
“Stop that!” He almost groaned, looking somewhat tortured. Except it wasn’t a
pained expression… it was that same expression he had had the other day; that
meant Peter was doing it right!
Biting his lips nervously, Peter continued in a slightly faster pace, trying to
match the rhythm the captain had had the other day. Hook responded with a shaky
breath, leaning his head back so Peter was, again, unable to see his face; he
hated that.
With his left hand that had been resting on the captain’s left shoulder, he
gave the man’s hair a soft pull to get him to look back down.
“What?!” Hook almost screamed at him, startling him a little. “What the hell do
you want, Pan?!” He asked in annoyance while his eyes acquired that unusual red
glow the man only had before killing someone; except this time it was different
because Hook didn’t just seem angry but also that other thing Peter had no name
for. That expression that enthralled and excited Peter, causing him to
subconsciously tighten his grip and fasten his pace until Hook finally moaned
softly, letting his head drop back again; maybe he was unable to concentrate on
Peter right now.
Peter decided to let him look away, as long as he continued with the soft
groans that sent electric shocks through Peter’s system, making his body
tremble with strange sensations he was beginning to get addicted to.
Hook tightened his hand around the chains holding him while his body trembled
softly; what was going on now?
Peter looked down at his hand as he felt something wet and warm coating it. It
was that white substance again; it was sticky, slippery and warm against his
rather cool hand, and he slowed down until he came to a stop. Hook had also
stopped after that, right? It meant he was done with…whatever it is that was
going on.
Curiously, Peter lifted his head in hopes of discovering how Hook was feeling
about all this, but the man’s head was still hung back, making it impossible
for Peter to see his expression, so he carefully let him slip out of his hand
and flew up to the top of the rock in order to release the chains that
clattered down loudly.
Hook lowered his head as Peter landed in front of him again, opening the heavy,
iron cuffs around his wrists while the man stared emptily at him; why was he
looking so unhappy?
Peter opened his mouth to say something, but was silenced by the man’s strong
hand slapping him across the face with such force that it sent him stumbling
back; if he hadn’t been able to fly, he would have toppled over into the pool
behind him.
“Get away from me, you disgusting child,” Hook said quietly, his blue eyes as
dark as a stormy night.
Peter flew out of the Black Castle without touching the ground again; as much
as the slap had stung, it was nothing in comparison to the strange, heavy,
almost painful feeling that suddenly seemed to crush his chest. Why had Hook
done that? And why was he so hurt at it…? Hook had done and called him far
worse many times before and it had never bothered him whatsoever, so why was he
suddenly feeling so terrible now? It was a horrible feeling that made him want
to cry even though he couldn’t explain why.
~*~
James covered his face and groaned once that detestable child was finally out
of his sight; this was a complete catastrophe. Why hadn’t he just gutted the
boy while he’d been standing so close in front of him? It had been the perfect
chance…
Shakily, he washed himself off before getting dressed and rowing back to his
ship. What was going to happen to them now? How was he supposed to ever face
Pan again? Next time he would just kill him… It’s not like he had the chance to
ever make it out of this anyway.
As he entered his cabin, the annoying little pixie immediately began squeaking
at him again, as if he’d be able to understand a single word she said. There
was no point in keeping her now; he had kept her in hopes Pan would show up,
but now he would much rather never see that brood of Satan ever again.
“There’s no such thing as…” He paused again, staring at the panicked fluttering
fairy. If he killed her, would Pan avenge her? It wasn’t as if James was truly
scared of the boy, but at the moment he was so freaked out he would rather not
take any chances.
“Get out,” he said quietly, opening the lamp. The fairy flew out immediately,
cursing at him as she disappeared through the open window of his cabin.
With a pathetic whine, James fell face down on his bed; he wanted to die. Oh
why hadn’t he let that crocodile eat him?!
Now he was stuck on a magical island in a fairytale world with a devilish child
who had suddenly discovered his lust for… for something - James had no idea
what because he had no clue what was even going on here. Pan had never been
malicious… Was that even what he had been? James thought back at the expression
on the boy’s face; it hadn’t seemed malignant but… genuinely curious? But that
was ridiculous! Pan was the image of innocence; of eternal youth; of purity; of
stupidity… James cursed loudly; damn that diabolic child. What the hell had
gotten into him?
Less than two weeks ago, Pan had been completely smitten by that silly kiss the
Wendy girl had given him, and now he was running around molesting people?! How
does something like that even happen?
James had never really thought about how sexual things worked in Neverland
because it was a child’s paradise that generally contained nothing grown-up,
even though logically seen it must exist even if it was just among Indians or
mermaids – none of whom remained forever young… Unlike James and Pan
themselves… Why was that? Why was he unable to age even though the Indians did?
And why in the name of god couldn’t Pan awaken his sexuality with one of them
instead of James?!
~*~
Peter sighed softly, staring at the pirate chip in the bay from the safe
distance of a large tree. Was Hook on there right now? What might he be doing?
Was he still angry? And since when the hell did Peter even care?! He didn’t
want to care! He didn’t want to care about anything or anyone, least of all
Hook! Who had been so mean even though Peter was just trying to… Well, he
wasn’t exactly sure what he had been trying to do, but it wasn’t something bad…
For once, he hadn’t been trying to hurt Hook, and yet it had turned out so
ugly… Why had Hook been so upset?
Suddenly Tinkerbell buzzed in front of his face, startled him so much he nearly
fell of his branch. “Tink!” He said delighted, immediately feeling better. “How
are you? Was Hook mean to you? I meant to rescue you, but I didn’t get the
chance!” It was the first time he had ever lied to Tink; he had plenty of
chance, for example while Hook had been bathing in the mornings, but instead of
rescuing his friend, he had watched him.
Tinkerbell immediately began cursing the pirate captain, telling Peter all
about how Hook had tortured her to find out Peter’s secret hideout, but she
hadn’t told him. Of course he knew she was vastly exaggerating, but that was
the way she had always been.
Though Peter felt compelled to tell his fairy all his secrets, the way he had
done for centuries, he decided to keep today’s earlier incident with Hook to
himself; for unknown reasons he felt it wasn’t right to tell her. As if he had
done something forbidden that no one in the world was allowed to know, not even
Tinkerbell who generally loved mischief. This was one game he wanted to play
only with Hook.
 
***** Chapter 8 *****
The following morning, James decided to skip his bath out of paranoia. He knew
that sooner or later he had to clean himself up again, but that would have to
wait until he had recuperated from the shock of Pan giving him a hand job. Due
to the events of the prior day, James had not ventured into the Indian village
and the only thing he still had left to eat were a few wrinkly potatoes and
fish. Fish was the only thing he could really get on his own, but living off
fish alone was out of the question so sooner or later he had to man up and
steal something… Wonderful.
Unlike usually on visits to the Indian Village, James snuck through the forest
instead of bombing them from a safe distance in the water; so unlike him. He
hated it. Of course he had no choice right now but to hide and sneak around
like a common thief until he approached the village. It was the first time he
had ever seen it so peaceful… Usually everyone was running around screaming
whenever he was near…
Hidden by thick underbrush, James waited, analyzing the situation. He had found
the tents with the food supplies, but there were a whole lot of people running
around it, either bringing something in or taking something out. Perhaps it
would be better to come back at night when the place was a bit less busy…
With an internal nod, James turned around to return to his boat, but his way
was cut off by Pan hanging in midair, sword drawn. Instead of the brat’s usual
grin whenever they were about to fight, Pan was frowning this time.
“What are you doing here, Hook?” He demanded.
James sighed, pulling out his sword; he was so not in the mood for this right
now. “None of your concern. Get out of my way.”
“Where’s your sword?” Pan suddenly changed topics completely, eyeing the sword
that James waved in front of his face.
“Are you blind?”
“That’s not your sword…” Pan said slowly, tipping it softly with his own sword
as if testing it out.
“No, it’s not, but I can still kill you with it if you don’t move,” James
snapped angrily, striking at him.
Pan blocked the attack, eyeing the sword curiously. “Where is your sword? It
was a lot better than this one.”
“Stuck in the skull of a giant crocodile at the bottom of the ocean,” James
grunted, striking at the boy again who flew into the air, bouncing off trees
while James lamented the loss of his beloved Sylvia; he had had that sword
since long before he’d come to Neverland, and now it was lost forever.
“Oh,” Pan acknowledged with a nod. “What a pity. It was a beautiful sword. I
had considered stealing it from you a few times but it was way too heavy and
clumsy for me,” he continued merrily while they exchanged a few more strikes
until James suddenly lowered his sword, walking away.
“Hey! Hook!” Pan yelled, flying after him. “What do you think you’re doing?”
James really didn’t know either; he never walked away from fights, but right
now he was so upset he didn’t feel like it. Especially because the anger that
had always fueled him to fight Pan was gone, replaced by nothing but hopeless
despair at his situation.
“Hook!” Pan said again, floating right in front of him to cut him off, aiming
his sword right at James’ throat.
“Go ahead,” James said quietly. “Kill me.” Since when had he turned
depressive…? What was wrong with him today? Where had all his fire gone? It’s
not as if he really wanted to die… Or did he…?
~*~
Peter stared at the pirate captain in disbelief; what was wrong with Hook all
of a sudden? Hook was always so angry and aggressive; he always wanted to kill
Peter…
“Are you still mad at me? Is that why you don’t want to play with me?” Peter
asked slightly downcast.
“What?” Hook snapped. “No, you half-wit! I have always been angry at you –
that’s the reason we fight. We’re enemies and we hate each other, remember?”
“So… are you not angry at me then? Is that why you don’t want to play?” Peter
asked confused.
Hook gave him an acid glare. “I’m not playing, Pan. I never was. The only
person for whom any of this is a game, is you. I just despise you and want you
dead.”
Peter swallowed the sudden lump in his throat; why were Hook’s words cutting
all of a sudden? Everything the man did and said upset Peter lately – it made
no sense. Did Hook really want him dead…? Of course a few days ago, Peter had
also wanted him dead, but now… now something was different.
Sadly, he watched the pirate disappear through the trees, leaving Peter alone
with his confusion. What had he done to make Hook like this? And how could he
undo it again? Maybe he should… apologize. No way… Peter had never apologized
in his life and he wasn’t about to start now! Especially because he had done
nothing wrong! It wasn’t his fault Hook was acting all stupid – grown-ups were
so dumb and annoying.
 
~*~
That night, James decided not to go to the Indian Village after all; the risk
was too high of running into Pan. He’d have to live another day off of fish.
It was, in fact, another four days later (during which James still hadn’t taken
a bath) that he finally snuck into the Indian village at night and plundered
their food crates. It wasn’t as if he had taken a lot – he couldn’t carry too
much – but it was enough to get him through the week. After which he would have
to return again… Great.
Luckily, Pan made no appearance at all, so James was able to sneak back onto
his ship without any further interference. At least until he got there and saw
Pan sitting on his deck, surrounded by white moonlight.
“What the hell do you want?” James asked, angered by the mere sight of the
child, and somewhat surprised; Pan didn’t come out much at night.
“Did you steal all that from the Indians?” Pan asked reproachfully.
“No, the tooth fairy gave it to me,” James growled darkly.
“What fairy?” Pan asked confused. “I’m not familiar with her, who is that?”
James almost laughed. “It was a joke, Pan. One you obviously wouldn’t
understand… Of course it’s from the Indians – who else?”
“Why did you steal from them?” Pan demanded, crossing his arms; he was so
protective of those bloody Indians.
“Because otherwise I have no food,” James snapped in annoyance; why was he
justifying himself instead of simply killing the dweeb?
“Oh.” Pan nodded. That boy was so slow sometimes.
“Now get the hell off my ship,” James growled angrily, beginning to haul the
stolen bags onto the deck.
“Or what?” Pan smirked.
James wanted to jump at his throat and rip his head off, but took a calm breath
instead. “Or nothing. Stay if you want – I don’t really care.” He hid his smile
at the disappointment on the boy’s face; indifference worked best with that
pestering child. Why hadn’t he figured that out years ago…? Oh right… because
he had been angry and not freaked out by the boy’s sexual advances that made
him somewhat reluctant to fight him; right now he much preferred to be away
from the kid than to battle him.
Apparently Pan had nothing more to say, because he flew away without another
word, letting James put away his loot in peace.
~*~
Peter was so frustrated he wanted to punch someone; preferably Hook. Why
couldn’t they go back to the way it had been before? Why couldn’t they just
have fun, mindless fights that made Peter feel good instead of… all of this. It
confused him and made him unhappy… He hated it.
Though he intended to fly back to his hideout, he decided to hang around just a
little longer; maybe Hook’s mood would change soon?
~*~
Once he had stashed away all his things, James returned to his cabin after
putting out all the lights on deck. He was completely exhausted; it was nearing
morning already and he was ready to drop into bed and pass out. At least until
his eyes fell on his bed; there, above his silken sheets, lay Sylvia.
Cautiously, James approached the bed; was this some sort of trick…? Had Pan
left it here? But why would he do that…? And where had he even gotten it from?!
There was no way Pan could dive all the way to the bottom of the ocean, right?
He slowly picked the sword up to inspect it; it was clean and polished, and
unmistakably his. Was that why Pan had been here tonight? He’d come to return
James’ sword…?
A gesture that James appreciated more than words could express, but also made
him incredibly suspicious; Pan had never done a single nice thing for anyone in
his life. The boy was a selfish, arrogant piece of shit that didn’t do anything
at all unless he himself profited from it. Not that Hook was any different when
it came to doing things for others, but still.
~*~
Peter’s heart fluttered in delight as he saw the smile on the captain’s lips;
he’d never seen him smiling before. At least not a real smile like this, that
made him look so much younger and kinder.
Maybe now things would go back to normal between them? Maybe now they could
fight again?
The more Peter thought about it, the more he realized he didn’t actually want
that anymore. He wanted something else… He wanted more, though he didn’t know
what. Fighting with Hook was fun and exciting, but it didn’t come close to…
other things Peter had discovered recently. Things that were so much more
thrilling than sword fighting.
After Hook had thoroughly inspected the sword that seemed to his satisfaction,
he placed it back in the sheath he always carried around his waist but now
removed, to get ready for bed. Peter watched from outside the window while the
man changed into a pair of linen trousers and then began removing the hook, but
paused midway, eyeing the sword he had placed on the table. After a moment of
hesitation, the captain secured the hook again and placed the sword with its
sheath under his pillow before getting into bed and extinguishing the oil lamp;
was he expecting an attack…?
~*~
As the light went out, James spotted the dark silhouette in front of his
window, now visible due to the moonlight outside; was Peter going to attack him
in the middle of the night?
For quite a while, James lay in bed, hand on his sword and ready to fight, but
the shadow in front of his window just swayed around for countless minutes
until it finally disappeared.
Pan had always been so easy to read, like an open book with a lot of pictures
in it so even stupid people could understand him, but now… Now James was so
confused he spent the short rest of the night awake, unable to close his eyes
out of paranoia until long after the sun had come up. There was no way he could
do this on the long run; he was going to go mad.
***** Chapter 9 *****
Unfortunately for Peter, Hook was far too cautious and had refrained from
returning to the Black Castle for nearly two weeks. It wasn’t even as if Peter
wanted to repeat last time – well, maybe he did, but he wouldn’t have – he just
wanted to… see. But now Hook even refused to bathe, aside from a few dips in
the ocean every once in a while, and Peter was growing impatient. He was
curious and wanted to feel that dangerous thrill again that only Hook managed
to give him, because lately everything else bored him and his thoughts always
wandered back to that day when he had touched the other man… His soft, warm
skin; the curves of his tensed muscles; his coarse, unruly hair; his piercing
blue eyes that followed Peter in his dreams.
Silent as a shadow, Peter landed on the ship’s deck, sneaking towards the
captain’s cabin and peeking inside, but the lights were all out and there was
no sign of anyone being awake in there. He turned the door knob as quietly as
possible, but the door was locked; of course it was – Hook was paranoid.
With a sigh, Peter flew around the ship to the captain’s window that always
stood ajar; would he fit through there…?
Without making a sound, Peter landed on the thin windowsill and pushed the
window open a few more inches, just enough to squeeze in. The room was dark and
silent, the only distant sound coming from the soft splashing of the waves
against the ship, and the only light from the giant, full moon that bathed
everything in a beautiful silver glow.
On the large, luxurious bed that Peter always wanted to pounce into, lay
Captain Hook, fast asleep with his sword under his pillow; that needed to go.
But how? Was Hook a light sleeper? Probably, given how paranoid the man was… He
was still wearing his hook; that couldn’t possibly be comfortable.
In order not to make any sounds on the wooden floorboards, Peter decided to
float over to the bed to take a closer look at what was going on. Hook was
lying on his back, his left hand under his head and the hook almost dangling
off the side of the bed. What was Peter supposed to do now? He wasn’t even sure
what he wanted here; he wanted to see Hook and… do something. But he wasn’t
sure if that was a good idea because Hook had been so angry last time… Unlike
in the past few decades, Peter didn’t actually want to irritate the man, he
just wanted to… Well... Alright, so he didn’t know what he wanted, but he
didn’t want to annoy him! He just wanted to do that thing again… He wanted to
touch him again…
Peter lowered himself a little, floating just a few inches above the sleeping
captain, and then extended his hand to trace his fingers over the man’s bare
chest; it was warm and pleasant, just like last time he had touched it.
Hook took a deep breath and Peter immediately retracted his hand in fear he had
woken him, but the man just stirred a bit, pulling his hand out from under his
head and brushing it against the skin that Peter had just touched, before he
remained unmoving again, with his hand now sprawled across his stomach.
After waiting for a few minutes to make sure Hook was fully sleeping again,
Peter carefully touched the pirate’s now dry hair; it felt a lot more pleasant
when it was dry. It was a lot smoother even though it was still completely
tangled, and Peter dug his fingers into it, feeling the unusual texture; he had
never touched someone else’s hair before. Or any part of anyone, really, nor
had he ever been touched himself like this; the most physical contact he ever
had was during fights and during that one dance with Wendy… He had really
enjoyed that, but then she had to mess it up with all her confusing feelings…
The ones he was feeling right now as his hand slowly traveled through Hook’s
hair to his shoulder, and down his muscular arm that was bound in leather
straps from the hook on his wrist.
Very slowly, he pulled the man’s arm up, running his hand over the smooth, cold
surface of the iron cap, down to the sharp hook that he knew could easily gut
him if Hook woke up right now. Would Hook truly do that…? Did the man still
hate him? But how could he if Peter suddenly felt so different for him?
Though Hook stirred a bit again and groaned softly, he didn’t wake while Peter
wound the ropes of the bed curtains around his right wrist first, before doing
the same with his left one.
~*~
James groaned internally; now this diabolical child was even haunting him in
his dreams. He was so tired; he didn’t want to dream. Least of all if the dream
was about Pan sneaking into his room to tie him to his bed. Why was he dreaming
this? Did he have some sick, subconscious desire for the child? That was
ridiculous… he hated him. Yet he didn’t want to wake up from the cool, soft
hands that ghosted across his skin giving him goosebumps, and he willingly let
his hands be tied, succumbing to his own twisted dreams.
Only to soon realize it felt far too real for a dream. As soon as the sleep had
been chased enough from his mind, he realized this was actually happening; Pan
had actually just tied him to his own bed.
“Pan!” He screeched hoarsely, blinking around in the moonlit room.
The boy was floating right above him, at such a distance that James couldn’t
even slam their heads together to knock the treacherous child out. “What the
hell do you think you’re doing?” He asked angrily, pulling on the ropes that
didn’t budge an inch.
“How did… Where did you learn how to make knots like these?! Were you a pirate
at some point,” James growled darkly, trying to free his hands in vain.
Pan slowly approached again, staring down at him in the semi-darkness. “I’ve
been watching you,” he said softly.
James almost shivered at the creepy words. “Untie me, Pan,” He said as calmly
as he could, though unlike the fear he had felt last time, he now felt an
unusual thrill at the situation; that was even scarier.
“Or what?” Pan asked softly, coming another few inches closer. How he loathed
that child…
“Or I’m going to slice you open and hang you by your bloody guts!” James
snarled furiously; it couldn’t be that he was in this situation again…
“I’ll take my chances,” Pan said quietly, looking far too serious; why wasn’t
he laughing and being his stupid self? It made James nervous.
With surprising gentleness, Pan landed on top of James, straddling him while
his hands freely roamed around his chest.
“Stop it,” James growled halfheartedly; he was still slightly drowsy from sleep
and disturbingly turned on from believing he’d been in a dream earlier. He
didn’t actually want this though, right?
No, of course not… Right?
Pan pushed himself down James’ stomach, sliding over his pelvis and settling
right on top of… James cursed; seriously? Was he doing that on purpose?
~*~
Eagerly, Peter ran his hands over the man’s warm skin, savoring the moment he’d
been yearning for ever since the last time he’d been able to touch him. Unlike
last time, Hook didn’t smell like soap but like… Hook. Whose only bath lately
had been a swim in the ocean earlier; did he still taste like it?
Tentatively, Peter leaned down further, licking across the pirate’s salty chest
and eliciting a surprised yelp from him.
“Pan! What the blazes do you think you’re doing?” Hook yelled, trying to shove
him aside, but Peter easily kept himself in place with his legs on either side
of the man who couldn’t really move much.
Hook tasted like ocean and sweat; Peter loved it. Hungrily, he let his tongue
travel over the captain’s smooth skin that was occasionally interrupted by a
faint scar here and there, some of which Peter traced with his tongue for a
bit; up until that moment he had never thought a person could taste good.
~*~
James’ head was starting to spin from a mixture of disgust, pleasure, hatred
and confusion, but the only thing he could really focus on was Pan’s wet tongue
sliding across his skin, making him shiver.
It wasn’t as if he’d never felt someone’s tongue on his skin before – sure, an
eternity ago – but it had been far different at the time; usually the tongue
belonged to some cheap hooker he had ran into on whatever dock they had
anchored and everything she did was because he was paying for it, but this…
this was new to him. He couldn’t even remember ever having been with someone he
hadn’t paid; there had simply not been time for something like that because he
had spent his entire life at sea.
Did Pan really want this…? Of course he wanted it, he was doing it while James
was tied up, but… Did Pan actually want him? They hated each other… Pan had
always hated him and recently nearly killed him… Why was he suddenly being so
affectionate? Was that even what Pan was being? Or what was this weird
situation?
James surely felt as if it were affectionate, given how the boy groped and
licked around on him… Now he wished he could free his hand from the ropes for a
whole new set of reasons; he couldn’t even remember what it felt like to touch
someone. Even if what he wanted to touch wasn’t a little boy, he was the only
one around and… And James was far too aroused to be able to think about it
right now. It didn’t matter who was doing this – he had never cared back when
it had been a prostitute either – all that mattered was that for a few blissful
moments he forgot how lonely he was and how… unloved.
~*~
Peter had been so busy with his tongue that he nearly missed the fact that
something was starting to press against his backside, where he was sitting on…
Oh, he thought surprised; Hook was ‘waking up’! Apparently there were more ways
than one to get the man ‘interested’; Peter was delighted at this new
discovery. It meant Hook was actually enjoying this too, didn’t it?
By now, Peter was fairly certain that whenever Hook’s thing woke up, the man
was enjoying himself even if he denied it; Peter knew he was lying.
Without removing his tongue from the captain’s skin, Peter slid towards the
inside of the bed to make way for his hand while he slowly licked down over the
man’s stomach muscles.
“Pan, stop,” Hook breathed shakily somewhere above him, but it was easy to hear
he didn’t mean it.
Swallowing his excitement, Peter slipped his hand inside the loose waistband,
groping around blindly while Hook growled darkly, though it was hard to tell
whether it was in anger or… something else.
Moving around with the clothes over it soon proved to be tedious, and Peter
pushed the garments down the man’s thighs while Hook complained angrily by
yelling his name and cursing at him, though that was all he did so Peter
decided not to take him seriously.
Now Peter wished he had made light; he couldn’t really see enough even though
it was quite bright, but not bright enough for his taste. He wanted to see, not
only feel the man quivering in his hand while he stroked him, the same way he
had done last time.
What would that taste like…? Peter remembered the white substance that he knew
would eventually come out of it – did that also taste like something?
Curiously, he leaned down and licked over the tip.
 
 
 
***** Chapter 10 *****
“Pan!!” James screamed in shock, trying to move away from him. Had that kid
seriously just licked him?!
Apparently so, and he did it again, a little more vigorously this time. James
gasped, pulling roughly on the ropes that were chafing his recently healed
wrists again.
“Stop it!” He yelled angrily, but obviously Pan had no such intention because
instead of removing his tongue, he slowly slid James’ erection into his mouth
until James screamed in disgust and pleasure.
“Pan! Take that out of your filthy mouth, you repulsive little slut!” He was
torn between wanting to kill that repugnant child and begging him not to stop;
he hadn’t felt something this amazing since… since the last time some whore had
sucked on his dick.
~*~
Peter hadn’t really understood the word Hook had used, but he assumed it was a
bad one. He was almost compelled to follow the man’s orders, but his delicious
groaning kept him from doing so; it didn’t really matter what Hook said because
Peter had decided to believe the man’s body rather than his words at the
moment, and his body was trembling and groaning in a way that made Peter want
to scream with that unknown excitement that felt as if his chest were about to
explode.
And if all that weren’t enough, there was also the fact that Peter was quite
enjoying the task of licking Hook’s thing; he was exploring each vein and each
inconsistency in the texture, particularly fond of the velvety tip that
occasionally wept something salty.
Tentatively, he sucked on it to see if more would come out, but instead caused
Hook to curse wildly.
Peter was still unsure in which situations Hook cursed, though he was beginning
to think it might be in any – good or bad. The man’s cursing was followed by a
delectable groan that made Peter’s stomach twist in excitement, encouraging him
to try the sucking thing again.
~*~
James felt as if he were about to lose the little sanity Neverland had left him
with. In all his years here he had never felt such intense pleasure and now it
was coming from the least likely of all sources. Now that his sense of morality
was slipping, it made way for a much darker part of him that he usually never
allowed to surface; a part that had no virtue, only unbridled desire that was
currently directed at that wicked child whose innocent tongue was nearly making
him scream.
He didn’t care that the person doing this was his mortal enemy; he didn’t care
that he hated him; he didn’t even care that Pan was a child. It all lost
relevance as he surrendered to the marvelous feeling surging through him,
reminding him that he was still alive.
It was only by the time he felt his orgasm approaching, that he managed to
clear his mind enough to remember he was still inside the boy’s mouth; no way
could he orgasm like that… Well, sure he could, but he really didn’t want to…
Well, actually he really did want to, but he really shouldn’t.
“Pan,” He said distractedly, but the boy wouldn’t stop his rhythmical pace.
~*~
Peter’s heart stopped for a millisecond when Hook suddenly groaned out his
name; it was the most... exciting sound Peter had ever heard in his life.
“Pan, stop it,” Hook groaned weakly. It was different than before; it wasn’t
angry or filled with hate.
Though it made Peter hesitate a bit, not enough to stop because he was quite
sure Hook was enjoying this quite a lot, if his delirious moaning was any
indication.
“Pan…” Hook moaned again, but Peter chose to ignore him.
“Peter!” Hook suddenly called, causing Peter to lift his head; Hook never used
his first name.
“W-what?” Peter stuttered a bit bewildered.
Hook took a few deep breaths. “Untie me and go away.”
“What?!” Peter asked in disbelief. “No!” He was sure he was so close to… Hook
finishing; why was he supposed to stop now? No way. He leaned back down to
continue, but Hook interrupted him again.
“Pan, I want you to stop!”
“And if I don’t want to?” Peter retorted.
Hook took another shaky breath. “Look… I’m about to… you know… so… stop it,”
the man said rather awkwardly; Peter almost laughed because he had never seen
Hook flustered before, but his confusion won over his amusement and he forgot
about it again.
“You’re about to what?” Peter asked curiously; did that have a name? Peter was
really of the opinion that it should have a name.
“Climax!” Hook growled in annoyance.
“Is that what it’s called when you’re… done?” Peter said slowly; that was an
interesting word he’d never heard before.
“Yes, Pan. That’s what it’s called, now get the hell away from me!” The captain
snapped, apparently recuperating quickly from his earlier dazed state.
“Isn’t that the point though?” Peter asked slowly.
“Yes, but not while I’m inside your mouth!” Hook complained.
“Why not? Is it poisonous?” Peter asked confused.
“Ugh… Pan… No. But-”
“Then what’s the problem? Aren’t you enjoying it?” Peter asked softly, crawling
up towards the man’s face while his hand took over his mouth’s earlier
position.
Hook groaned softly, turning his head away.
“I know you are,” Peter whispered.
~*~
“I know you want it. I know how much you love what I’m doing. I know you want
to… climax in my filthy mouth.”
James shivered at the words that made his stomach twist; did Pan even know what
he was saying there? Probably not… Damn that sinful child…
Obviously Pan wasn’t waiting for an answer because he moved back down,
enveloping James with his hot, wet mouth again. Whatever; if Pan wanted it, who
was James to argue after the kid had tied him up and was practically raping
him… Even though at this point James was more than willing. Or at least the
very dark, sick part of him was.
Pan’s even, strong movements quickly dragged James towards the edge again, and
this time he didn’t bother holding back; if he was lucky, the kid should choke
on it and die.
~*~
Hook gave a long, low growl while his body shivered a bit, indicating that he
was about to climax. Peter was waiting nervously, and even though he knew, in
theory, what was supposed to happen, it still took him by such surprise that he
nearly choked on all the sticky liquid that suddenly filled his mouth. It was a
lot more than he had thought, and Hook in his mouth made it nearly impossible
for him to swallow so he ended up spitting half of it out in a coughing fit.
While Peter was coughing, Hook seemed to be recuperating from his climax rather
quickly, because he began to complain immediately. “You useless little squat!
Did you just spit that all over my bed?!”
“I-I’m sorry,” Peter coughed a few more times before being able to breathe
properly again and realizing the taste in his mouth. It wasn’t comparable to
anything he had ever tried before, though he had the impression that it tasted
a bit like Hook smelled; a flavor he was quite fond of since recently.
“Pan!” Hook snarled, pulling him out of his thoughts. “Untie me.”
Peter flew above him to untie the ropes but hesitated. “You won’t hit me again,
will you?” He asked softly.
“You’ll find out. Now untie me!” Hook barked angrily.
~*~
Was it the darkness playing tricks on him, or did Pan really look sad? He
looked as if James had beaten him already…
Pan undid the ropes hesitantly and then gave him an apprehensive look. Half an
hour ago, James would have killed him if he had gotten the chance, but right
now he wasn’t actually angry; he wanted to be, but he wasn’t. Looking up at the
boy’s uncertain eyes that reflected James’ confusion, he just felt bad.
“Get out,” he said quietly, pulling the covers up to his shoulders and turning
towards the wall so he wouldn’t have to look at him. He felt so terrible; how
could he have done that? Why hadn’t he tried harder to stop the kid from doing
this? Why had he given in to something so unspeakable as to let a child do
this?
He was so ashamed of his own weakness that he wished he would just drop dead;
or better yet, he wished Pan would drop dead. It was all Pan’s fault anyway… In
that moment he hated him more than ever before. And he hated himself more than
Pan; how would he ever live with himself after this?
~*~
Peter stared at Hook for a few moments, wishing the man would turn around and
say something else, but he didn’t. Instead, he left Peter with that horrible,
heavy feeling again that made him want to crawl under a rock and die.
He had always known Hook was a cruel person, but this was a type of cruelty he
hadn’t even known existed. And it cut a lot deeper than anything else he had
ever known, even deeper than the fact that Wendy chose growing up over him.
As silently as he had arrived, Peter flew out through the window, feeling his
eyes stinging with tears; he hated crying… He never cried! Especially not
because of Hook… Why didn’t Hook want him? Was he doing something wrong? Peter
had no idea how to show someone his affection…
In shock, he paused in midair; he had affection for Hook?! But… didn’t he just
want to play…? An unusual, exciting game that he hadn’t even begun to
comprehend? But maybe it was more… Maybe this was a whole different kind of
game that involved complicated things such as feelings… And he had the dreadful
feeling Hook would win this game.
Peter tried to remember what Wendy had said about… love. Affection people felt
for one another… He knew he had felt it for Wendy, but it had been different;
it had been a feeling like the one he had once had for his mother, whereas this
with Hook was something entirely different. It was a feeling he had never felt
for anything or anyone in his life… It made him happy and hurt at the same
time, and he desperately wished there were some way in which he could voice his
feelings, even though he wasn’t sure which feelings those were.

Dejected and lonely, Peter returned to his house under the tree that was empty
aside from Tinkerbell who was sleeping, nestled among the large roots of the
tree.
“Tink?” Peter said softly, holding a candle up to the little pixie, but she
just stirred slightly, waving her hand in annoyance and quipping that she
wanted to sleep.
Annoying fairy; why wasn’t she here for him? She should be awake so Peter could
tell her how confused he was…
On the other hand… was he truly ready to share this with Tink…? She probably
wouldn’t understand. Were fairies even capable of feeling such things? Probably
not… Even though Peter had spent so many years here, he really had no idea
about the feelings fairies had; he just knew they were only able to feel one
feeling at a time.
Peter sighed loudly, hoping to disturb Tinkerbell, but she either didn’t hear
him or was ignoring him. This wasn’t fair; dumb Tink for sleeping when Peter
wanted company. How dare she.
He tried to think of what he would tell her if she were awake, but not much
came to his mind because he really didn’t want to tell her what he had done
with Hook… And even more, he didn’t want to tell her that Hook had rejected him
because that was just humiliating.
The captain’s taste still lingered in his mouth, and he wondered what exactly
it was that he had done there. Did other people do that too? Was it something
normal for grown-ups? Had Hook done something like that with someone else
already?
Though out of all the questions that plagued him, the most confusing one was
the pirate’s behavior. Why did Hook get displeased about something he so
obviously wanted? Why was he angry at Peter for doing something the man
enjoyed? He had enjoyed that, hadn’t he? It had surely seemed that way, Peter
was almost certain of it…
With a careful glance to make sure Tinkerbell was still fast asleep, Peter
slowly reached down to caress himself again, in the same fashion that Hook
seemed to have enjoyed, but again nothing at all seemed to happen. Why did Hook
find this so pleasurable? Why did Hook’s thing grow in size when Peter touched
it, and Peter’s didn’t? Maybe it was broken?
Peter sighed frustrated, releasing himself again; this was useless. He felt the
somewhat unfamiliar feeling of jealousy seeping into his veins; it wasn’t
something he had felt often, but right now it was quite obvious to pinpoint.
Why was Hook able to feel something Peter was not?
Wendy’s words rung in his ears: ‘I find Captain Hook to be a man of feeling.
You are both, ungallant and deficient. You’re just a boy.’
Was that it? Was it because Hook was a man, whereas Peter was just… a boy?
***** Chapter 11 *****
Chapter Notes
     Hey everyone ^^
     I'm sorry I havent updated this in a long time. I was sick for quit a
     while, but I'm a bit better now, so here's another chapter :3 please
     enjoy!
It was past lunchtime when Hook finally ventured out of his cabin the next day.
He felt terrible; not just physically but also emotionally. He’d barely managed
to sleep at all so he was tired and cranky, and if he hadn’t been starving, he
would have remained in bed the whole day. And it was all Pan’s fault. How he
loathed that scurvy child.
As he stepped out onto the deck, he stopped dead in his tracks, staring around
at all the random supplies piled up there. Fruits, vegetables – even bread;
where the hell was all that doing here?
Of course he knew Pan had left it there, but why?
“Pan?” James called, looking up into the sky, but there was no sight of the
flying boy.
Was this supposed to be some kind of apology for last night…?
The thought made James feel somewhat strange; it was a mixture of appreciation
and disgust. He didn’t want Pan to do things for him… But on the other hand,
these were things he would otherwise not be able to get. Had Pan stolen them
from the Indians? No, surely not… Pan didn’t steal… He was gallant and much
better than that, wasn’t he?
Then James remembered last night; alright… not gallant but insolent and
naughty. Who knew what the child was capable of…
Not that it really mattered – Hook also stole from the Indians so who cared,
but still; the thought of Pan doing something ‘criminal’ for him made him feel
bad. Was he corrupting the child?
No wait… Pan was corrupting himself because James hadn’t done anything out of
the ordinary whatsoever… This was all Pan’s doing.  
With a heavy sigh, James shook his head; whatever; he wasn’t going to let
perfectly good food go to waste just because he didn’t like the person who had
brought it over.
As he began carrying the supplies to his rather bare kitchen, he tried not to
think of the motivations behind Pan’s actions; were they good or bad?
His initial instinct had been to be suspicious – maybe Pan had poisoned the
food… But no. Why would he? If he wanted him dead, he could have easily done so
last night, so harm was probably not what Pan intended with this gesture. But
then what…?
It couldn’t really be that this was the boy’s way of... trying to be amiable?
Was Pan developing some sort of feelings for him…?
The thought nearly made James throw up; that couldn’t really be, could it? Pan
didn’t have feelings – it was part of the riddle of his being, wasn’t it? At
least James had always thought that’s how it was.
Yet, this was the second kind gesture from the boy – James still hadn’t
forgotten about his sword, for which he had never thanked the child. Should
he…? No. Of course not. That would give him the wrong impression. It would give
him the impression that he was grateful… Which he was, but he didn’t want him
to know that because he hated him and wanted him to stay away. Didn’t he?
The last time he had been this conflicted, it had been about his older brother,
Edward, whom he had both cared for and yet hated for his terrible personality
that had corrupted him and turned him into the vile person he had become. It
wasn’t as if James didn’t know what a scoundrel he was - he just didn’t care
anymore - but there had once been a time when he had cared about it and been
unhappy about it. There had once been a time he had tried to be a respectable,
decent human being.
~*~
The fact that Hook had accepted his presents meant something good, right?
Peter smiled delighted as he peeked over the side of the ship onto the deck
where the pirate was stashing away everything Peter had left there.
Did that mean they were on good terms again?
‘Again? When have we ever been on good terms?’ Peter asked himself surprised;
did he even want to be on good terms with Hook…?
With a sigh, Peter resigned to denial; alright, fine… So he wanted to befriend
Hook, even if he couldn’t explain why. Maybe because he felt lonely after
everyone had left him? But if that were so, why didn’t he feel compelled to
return to Earth to find a few new friends…?
The answer was rather disturbing: they didn’t intrigue him the way Hook did.
Hook had captivated his interest along with something else Peter couldn’t name.
A feeling he didn’t know. One that drove him to do silly things such as this,
and hurt him whenever Hook said or did something unkind – which was all the
time, really.

Nevertheless, Peter decided to visit the captain that evening, anxious to find
out the man’s reaction to the food.
Quietly, he landed in front of the man’s cabin and knocked; maybe Hook would be
less annoyed if he dropped by formally rather than crawled in through his
window in the middle of the night?
It took a minute before Hook opened the door, looking suspicious and stunned at
seeing him there.
“Pan. What do you want?” He asked confused, looking around for an ambush or
something.
“I was floating around the island and saw your light on, so I thought I’d drop
by and see how you’re-”
Hook slammed the door in his face, locking it.
“But…” Peter mumbled dejectedly, staring at the door. Obviously it didn’t
matter – Hook didn’t want to talk to him one way or another.
Whatever. If Hook didn’t want to talk, there were other things Peter could
think of to spend the time.
 
 
~*~
James was pulled out of his semi sleep as he heard the window creaking softly;
was that the wind…?
No… Probably not. He had left a candle burning next to his bed and tried not to
fall asleep because he suspected the detestable child would make another
appearance tonight.
As Pan’s shadow glided along the walls, flickering in the dim light, James
tightened his hand around the sword under his pillow, ready to stab the flying
plague as soon as he dared lay hand on him again.
The boy slowly flew closer, hovering right above James who turned his head to
stare up at him.
“What do you want?” He asked, knowing he probably wouldn’t get an answer this
time either; not that it was necessary because he had a feeling he knew exactly
what Pan wanted, he just didn’t understand why.
Pan pulled his legs into a cross-legged sitting position in midair and crossed
his arms. “You don’t know?” He asked with a slight pout that made James want to
kick him.
“Yes. I know what you want. The question is, do you know what it is that you
want, Pan?” James asked coldly, smirking internally as the boy’s pout turned
nervous and confused.
~*~
Peter swallowed, feeling his stomach flipping upside down; he had no idea what
exactly it was that he wanted, he just knew that he wanted it.
“I want…” He began slowly, trying to find words. “I want…” But he didn’t know
the words because he didn’t know what was going on. “You,” he finally finished
with a nod; that was as good as he could phrase it.
Hook looked a bit stunned but soon composed himself again. “You can’t have me.”
“Yes I can!” Peter said immediately.
“No, you can’t, you spoiled little rat!” Hook snapped angrily, pulling his
right leg towards his chest and then kicking up at Peter who was too surprised
to fully dodge the kick to his chest and was slammed into the ceiling.
“Ow,” he grunted softly, remaining on the ceiling for a moment; he wanted to
fly away but forced himself to stay even though he felt sad. Lately he had come
to realize that sadness was a far worse feeling than fear, and Hook managed to
instill it in him with incredible ease.
“Why do you do that?” He asked quietly.
~*~
James stared up at the dark ceiling, unable to fully see the expression on the
boy’s face in the dim light, but his voice spoke volumes; he sounded so unlike
Pan. He sounded sad and hurt… Was that some weird trick? Of course it was… Pan
could take a kick on his worst day without a problem.
“Why do I do what?” James asked nonetheless, unsure what Pan was actually
referring to exactly.
“Be mean all the time,” Pan mumbled from his dark corner.
James laughed. “What’s wrong with you, Pan? You know who I am – what are you
expecting?”
“But… can’t things change?” The boy asked feebly, and James laughed at him,
though he wasn’t sure how real that had sounded.
“No. Things can’t change. Especially because you broke your word. You said you
would take me to Earth,” he spat out bitterly. It’s not as if he weren’t tired
of how things were… Of course he was; he’d been tired of them for decades, but
this new development was not exactly what he had had in mind when he thought of
change.
“I am not going to do that!” Pan suddenly yelled, jumping down from the ceiling
and landing heavily on top of James who groaned as the boy’s knees dug into his
stomach. “I will never take you to Earth!”
~*~
Peter wanted to cry in anger and frustration; why did Hook still want to leave?
He didn’t want him to go… He wanted to be with him… All the time. He wanted…
Something.
“And I will never be yours,” Hook said quietly, giving him such a hate-filled
look it made Peter’s chest hurt more than the kick had.
“Why not?” He whispered desperately, waiting for the man to defend himself; why
was he hesitating?
“Because you’re a licentious child that makes me sick,” Hook replied coldly.
Peter drew back his fist and slammed it into the captain’s face. “No!” He
yelled angrily. “I don’t care what you think!”
Hook laughed loudly. “You’re nothing but a pathetic, spoiled boy who can’t
handle rejection!” He mocked with a sneer.
This was a lot worse than battling Hook; it was a whole new way of fighting
Peter had never done before, and one he didn’t have weapons for. Why didn’t
Hook just attack him?
The pirate’s sword was right there, probably held tight in the man’s hand under
his pillow, yet he made no attempt to use it.
“That’s not true!” Peter yelled in a mixture of rage and despair, but Hook just
kept laughing.
“What, did you really think I would ever want you? Not even Wendy wanted you!”
Hook taunted before suddenly getting up so fast Peter didn’t manage to fly away
and was pinned against the wall behind the bed. He felt so weak; what was wrong
with his flying ability lately?!
“No one wants you. You’re a disgusting freak of nature and I would rather be
torn apart by a crocodile than be with you!”
Peter swallowed thickly, trying to keep himself from crying.
~*~
Why was he saying these things? Was he trying to convince Pan or himself?
The devastated look in the boy’s usually fierce eyes was heartbreaking and he
felt as if he had just kicked a homeless puppy.
But what else could he do? He wanted the boy to be gone, once and for all. That
was what he wanted, wasn’t it?
Of course it was.
Angrily, he dragged the boy off the bed and towards the door. “Get out,” he
snapped, shoving him outside and slamming the door.
This had to stop. He couldn’t deal with this. Especially because it was
starting to affect him in a way that made him sick. The boy’s hurt look… The
loss of his strength that was so evident… The gestures of affection… His
repulsive sexual curiosity… His sinful mouth that made James nauseous with
execrable desire.
What was this boy doing to him? He felt as if Pan were dragging him into a dark
room filled with unholy feelings that roused a desire for the unspeakable. A
desire he had never had before, but now began consuming him at such an alarming
rate he was beginning to lose his grip on the feeble reality around them.
He didn’t want this. He didn’t want Pan. And yet the few hours that were left
of his restless night were filled with erotic dreams revolving around a
beautiful blond that teased him mercilessly with his wicked, inexperienced
tongue until the break of dawn.
***** Chapter 12 *****
The following morning, Peter was woken up by an annoyed Tinkerbell who
complained that he hadn’t been spending any time with her and that she was
bored. Unlike on usual days, Peter was in a terrible mood and just wanted to
stay in bed all day, moping around because of Hook’s rejection. And to top that
off, it was raining; there was no way he was getting out of bed if it rained
outside.
Of course he was aware that he rain was caused by him because Neverland always
played along with his mood, but it still managed to dampen his already low mood
and keep him from doing anything at all, even if the irritating pixie pulled on
his hair as he turned around to keep sleeping, in an attempt to drag him out of
bed.
“I’m tired, Tink. Go away,” he mumbled, not wanting to explain to the fairy
that he was sad. He was never sad… Except right now. And at a few other
occasions in the past few days, but then he had always been able to pretend
that he was fine.
Obviously Tinkerbell didn’t care because she fluttered around his head, her
annoyance switching to excitement in an instant as she told him that a few
fairies had seen Hook ashore and it was the perfect moment for a battle. This
definitely roused Peter’s interest and he swooped down from his sleeping nest,
sword in hand and ready for battle. Except he didn’t actually want to battle…
Or did he?
Tinkerbell squealed excitedly as they raced out into the morning sunlight where
Peter followed her through the thick forest, down to the beach and towards the
Black Castle; had Hook decided to follow on his morning bath again? The thought
made Peter’s stomach twist with that new excitement he had begun feeling around
Hook lately. That excitement that was so much better than the one he had always
had prior to the Darling’s visit.
But then he remembered last night. Hook’s harsh words and rough treatment. Hook
hated him; how would he react when they ran into each other again? Did Peter
even want to see him right now?
They had to face each other sooner or later, given they were some of the only
two people besides the Indians in Neverland, but was he ready? What would they
say to each other? Would they fight? And if so, with weapons or… in that other
way that scared Peter?
The more he thought about it, the more anxious he got and the less he actually
wanted to see the pirate right now.
Or at least until he landed in the Black Castle and snuck down the slippery
stairs towards the freshwater pools where Hook was taking a bath.
Tinkerbell screeched quietly as she saw the naked pirate and covered her eyes,
despite them being too far away to actually be capable of seeing anything;
Peter wished she wouldn’t be here right now.
Perhaps he should try talking to Hook? Peter was terrible at talking…
Especially about this because he had no idea what ‘this’ was.
“Tink,” he whispered nonetheless. “You need to go back to our lair and wait for
me there so I can battle Hook. You don’t want to be around when a naked pirate
comes out of the water, do you?”
Just as expected, the fairy squawked and flew off, cursing loudly. She was so
easy to handle; Peter loved that about fairies.
Now that Tink was gone, Peter tried to come up with a plan. He needed something
to avoid a repetition of last night, but how would he go about it? Since he had
no idea what exactly was happening, it was difficult to evaluate the situation;
it was so much more complicated than any other situation he had ever been in.
It was something about feelings… That much he had understood and accepted. But
what to do about it? How would Hook approach the subject…? Was he truly trying
to think like a grown-up?! What had the world come to…
Once Hook finally came out of the water and began getting dressed, Peter
quietly landed on the rocks behind him, wondering how he should make himself
noticed without angering the pirate.
Eventually he settled for a simple “Hello,” just as Hook put on his coat.
The man spun around, nearly slipping on the wet rocks. “Pan,” he said coldly.
“I should have known you sick squat would show up here. What do you want?”
“I just wanted to see how your day was going. Did you have a pleasant morning?”
Peter had heard stuff like that being said by grown-ups on Earth.
Hook raised an eyebrow and looked around in suspicion before giving him another
cold look. “What do you want, Pan?” he asked again.
“I thought since we are both living here in Neverland, perhaps we should get a
bit better acquainted. It may be beneficiary for us and keep us from all these
tedious disputes we tend to have.” Was he even using those words right?
Hook stared at him for a moment before laughing. “Did you snort too much fairy
dust or something?” He shook his head, turning away to walk back to his
rowboat.
“Wait!” Peter flew after him, though staying at a safe distance because he
wasn’t sure how to interpret the captain’s laugh. “Hook!”
~*~
Though James wanted to yell and be angry, he was too tired to bother – because
really, it’s not like it would help anyway – so he just turned back around to
give him an expectant look. “What?” Why did he even bother asking, not like Pan
had any clue what he wanted anyway, but James didn’t know what else to say.
The boy landed in front of him at a sword’s distance, looking up with somewhat
confused eyes. “Can’t we… talk?” They never talked. Aside from lately… It was
quickly becoming an annoying habit.
“About what?” James really wished he would have something better to do, but
unfortunately this was about as exciting as his day would get.
“I don’t know. About everything… About what happened…” Pan mumbled hesitantly,
his hands fidgeting around with the handle of his sword.
“What happened is that you got in way over your head. You played a game only
reserved for adults, with rules you don’t understand.” Maybe there was a chance
to reason with the marvelous nuisance. Perhaps if James played along, there was
some way to convince Pan to let him go? It was worth a shot.
“So explain them to me,” Pan said intently, taking a step closer; a step that
placed him within James’ reach, should he intend to strike at him. Apparently
the boy was taking a leap of faith here. Maybe James should do the same…?
“And here I thought you always believed to be the sharpest tool in the shed who
never allowed anyone to explain anything, you little smartass.” Of course he
was aware this was not the best way to go about it, but he just couldn’t help
himself.
“What shed?” Pan asked confused.
“Never mind,” James muttered, shaking his head. If the pesky ankle-biter really
wanted to change things, James was all for it because the way they had been
going lately – or ever since he got here, really – was crap anyway. “The first
rule of the game is to never ever do something the other person doesn’t want.”
Alright, so maybe that wasn’t the first rule, but he hadn’t had a lot of time
to think this through, and in his situation that was the first thing he could
think of.
Pan crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I didn’t do anything you didn’t
want!” He retorted immediately. James wanted to slap him.
“Are you kidding me?!” He almost yelled. “How would you like it if someone just
forced themselves on you, uninvited?” He snarled, shoving the boy to the side
into the rock wall and pinning him.
Though Pan gave a small yelp of surprise, he didn’t try to struggle free but
instead leered up at him, biting his lip with an expectant glint in his eyes.
“I would like it quite a lot,” he whispered huskily.
‘Well this backfired.’ James cleared his throat awkwardly, releasing the boy
without taking a step back while trying to ignore the crazy sensation those
words sent through his body. He should have probably seen that coming. Unlike
what came next.
James’ breath got caught in his chest as Pan suddenly rose off the ground a few
inches, just enough for their lips to touch in the ghost of a kiss.
Though every fiber of his being was shouting at him to back away, the long-
forgotten sensation of someone’s lips upon his kept him rooted to the spot for
a moment too long during which he tried to regain control of his senses.
“What the hell was that?” He snapped the moment he found his voice and managed
to pull away.
Pan’s earlier assertiveness had vanished, replaced by shy hesitation that made
him seem so unlike himself. So vulnerable and desirable.
James well remembered the night of their last battle where he had nearly
managed to kill the dweeb until the Darling girl kissed him, and how he had
reacted to it. Had that been the boy’s first kiss?
“You’re a lousy kisser,” James sneered, not knowing what else to say.
Pan landed back on the ground and looked away; if James didn’t know any better,
he would have thought the kid was blushing. But that was probably something Pan
didn’t do.
James wanted to walk away and forget this ever happened, but something kept him
here; he felt as if he were under a spell that took away his free will. Was it
Neverland’s doing, or simply his wretched loneliness?
“Whatever,” he muttered more to himself than the boy as he reached up to tilt
the kid’s head towards him. A confused Pan opened his mouth to say something,
but James really couldn’t be bothered right now and used the opportunity to
shove his tongue past the boy’s parted lips where he was greeted by a surprised
squawk that he also decided to ignore. Apparently the kiss with Wendy had been
more superficial; it served to remind him that this was just a boy.
To his great dismay, he realized he didn’t care right now. Besides… it had been
Pan who started, and the last time James had kissed someone had been a few
centuries ago. If the obnoxious urchin wanted to kiss, they would do it James’
way, not the kiddy way.
~*~
Peter tried to steady his breathing, but it was hard to get enough air and he
was soon out of breath as if in the middle of a heated battle. His body felt as
if he were racing through the universe at the speed of light, completely out of
control; he couldn’t tell apart up from down or left from right, and was glad
for the captain’s strong arms holding him, or he would have probably tumbled
over.
Though he had greatly enjoyed the kiss with Wendy at the time, it had come
nothing close to this one which made him feel things he didn’t even know were
possible. The kiss with her had been so soft and gentle it had made him feel
cherished and loved, while the one with Hook was rough and passionate and made
him feel… things he didn’t have names for. So many things at the same time he
felt as if his chest were about to explode. It was almost as good as flying.
~*~
James almost moaned from the extraordinary feeling that made him feel
weightless. It was unlike any kiss he could remember; had kissing always been
this incredible and he had simply forgotten it? No way… Maybe it was just one
of those magical things about this place.
In dire need of air, he finally broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against
the boy’s while he tried to calm his raging heart down.
Wait… Why was Pan high enough to be able to lean their heads together? And why
was he feeling so… weightless?
James opened his eyes, only to realize they were floating high above the
ground, somewhere close to the ceiling of the Black Castle.
“Pan!!” He screamed in panic as his body suddenly regained its weight and he
began to fall down towards the rocky bottom of the cave.
Above him, he saw Pan looking shocked and confused for a moment - though less
shocked and confused than James was – but a second later he dove down towards
him, grabbing his hand and dragging him to the side just in time so they ended
up splashing into the ocean rather than hitting the rocks.
Gasping and coughing, they quickly broke through to the surface, soon after
which Pan started laughing loudly while James was still trying to understand
what had happened. Why had they been flying? He still hadn’t fully understood
how, why, or when exactly people were capable of flying in this place.
Though he felt slightly compelled to laugh as well, he quickly composed himself
because laughing with Pan was just something he didn’t want to do; plus the
whelp had just saved his life… That couldn’t be good. Of course he had also
been the one to nearly kill him, so maybe that didn’t count… But still.
He decided to glare at the still laughing kid, effectively silencing him.
“Are you alright?” Pan asked a bit hesitantly while they swam towards the close
shore.
“Why the hell was I flying?” James demanded in annoyance; not that it had
bothered him – it was amazing – but still! It had been so different from the
other one time he had flown… It had been so much easier. At least until he
realized he’d been doing it. Or maybe he hadn’t? Maybe it had been Pan?
The boy gave him a sideways glance after they pulled themselves up on the
rocks. “Maybe because I make you happy,” he said with the softest of smiles
that made James’ chest tighten painfully.
“You don’t make me happy, you delusional shrimp. Besides, I thought you needed
fairy dust to fly.” He tried to ignore the dejected look that replaced the
smile, though luckily it didn’t last for long because Pan soon smirked in his
typical fashion.
“Yes, fairy dust. But maybe kissing me works too. And that’s a lot easier for
you to get than fairy dust.” The look on Pan’s face was a mixture of
suggestiveness and innocence; it was a look James had never seen before on
anyone so he quickly hid his impeding laugh with a growl.
“Whatever.” Not like he could say much to that. “I’m going home.” He needed to
get away from here because this whole kissing, laughing and being nice with Pan
thing was just wrong. How had they even gotten here?!
Oh right…
“My point earlier was that just because you think I want something, doesn’t
make it so, and you can’t just… do whatever you want,” he said harshly, getting
up and removing his soaking, heavy coat which hindered his movements.
“Why not?” Pan asked defiantly, following him.
“Because only annoying children do that. And children don’t get to play this
game.” He smirked as Pan frowned; maybe he could somehow use the ‘child’ card
to his advantage. Pan had always prided himself on being a boy, after all.
It was quiet for a few seconds during which Pan seemed to be weighing his
options and answers while James was entertained by the confusion raking over
his features.
“So what do you want?” The boy finally asked.
James’ instinctive reply was to say ‘for you to leave me alone’, but if Pan
really did leave him alone, how would he ever go home? Plus he had the strong
feeling the boy wouldn’t leave him alone no matter what, so perhaps there was
some way to turn the tables in his favor. But how? How would he convince the
kid to let him go without getting too… involved with him?
Of course there was also the problem that the child was a possessive little
demon who thought the entire world belonged to him, and if James got in too
deep he might never leave this place again… On the other hand, he also had the
attention span of a goldfish and would probably get bored very soon. Maybe if
James gave him what he wanted, he would get bored and release him? After all,
it was just another one of Pan’s mephistophelian games. But if they would play,
they would do it by James’ rules.
“I want you to stop creeping up on me and… doing whatever you want whenever you
want to.” ‘Dear god, most awkward conversation ever.’
Pan nodded slowly. “I understand. You would prefer it if I do nice things for
you like bringing you supplies and your sword?”
“Uh…” Really? Now Pan wanted to court him? Oh this couldn’t be good. “Yes.
That’s better.”
Pan nodded, smiling broadly. “Alright then.” And with that, he flew off,
leaving James behind in the damp cave on his own. What had he gotten himself
into?!
***** Chapter 13 *****
Peter spent the rest of his day trying to come up with something nice to do for
Hook, but he couldn’t think of anything. What did the man enjoy? What did he do
in his spare time?
Eventually he came to the sad realization that he knew nothing about this kind
of game, or Hook, or how to go about this. It was so much harder than fighting…
This whole grown-up thing sucked so bad. Why was he even doing this?!
Oh that’s right, because he was trying to be friends with Hook. Or at least
something like friends… Alright, not friends, but that other thing… What did
one even call that? Was there a name for it?
With a sigh, Peter launched down from his tree, whizzing through the forest in
an attempt to clear his head. The only thing he could think of that Hook really
wanted, was the ability to fly and to go back to Earth, but both of those were
things Peter didn’t want to give him, so what else could he offer? How could he
show him what he meant to him?
It was already nearing dusk as he spotted the campfires from the Indian
village. Perhaps Tiger Lilly could help him? Surely she knew more about these
sorts of things, being a princess and all…
Impressed by his own intelligence, Peter swooped down into the village, flying
through the tipis while various people yelled at him for nearly knocking them
over, but he couldn’t be bothered because he was so enthusiastic about his
brilliant idea. Why hadn’t he thought about it earlier? So silly.
“Princess Tiger Lily!” Peter landed in front of her tipi and bowed as she came
out a moment later.
“Peter Pan!” She said delighted, placing her hands on her hips.
“Congratulations on your great victory over the pirates!”
“It was nothing, really,” he said nonchalantly. “I have actually come to seek
your aid, princess,” he continued solemnly.
“Oh?” She looked surprised.
“Yes! I come on a matter of great importance and I feel you are the only one
who can help me.” How was he going to explain this to her? For an unknown
reason, he didn’t really want to tell her that this was about Hook… Just like
with Tinkerbell, he felt as if he would tell, the thing with Hook – whatever it
was – would not be as magical and perfect anymore. It wouldn’t just be their
secret anymore.
“I would be delighted to assist you with anything you need, Peter. Why don’t
you walk with me and tell me all about it?” She suggested, heading down the
small dirt path that led towards the forest. “It’s such a beautiful day and we
can watch the sun setting!”
“Um, sure.” Peter shrugged, following her while he contemplated how to begin.
“So Peter, what is it you wanted to speak of?” She asked once they reached the
forest; if they continued on this path long enough, they would eventually end
on the beach.
“I was wondering if you knew anything about… Well…” He felt so awkward. “Say if
there were someone who wished to… get to know you a bit better, what would he
have to do to gain your attention?” That was probably safe, right?
“Oh Peter!” She giggled, running her fingers through her black hair playfully.
“Yes?” Peter asked a bit confused. She was acting strange again; Tiger Lily
often acted weird and in ways he didn’t understand at all.
She giggled again and gave him a look he didn’t know how exactly to interpret.
“Well!” She began enthusiastically, “If I am to think of him, I should like to
receive flowers first!”
“Flowers?” Peter asked dubiously, pulling a sour face; would Hook really want
those? Did he like flowers? Peter couldn’t remember ever having seen a single
flower onboard the Jolly Roger.
“Of course flowers! They are the symbol of romance!” She swooned dramatically
before giggling again.
“Romance?” Peter asked slowly; he knew the word but not the exact meaning of
it.
“Yes, Peter. Romance. You know what romance is, don’t you?” She asked
skeptically.
“Of course I know that!” Peter said immediately, throwing in a laugh for good
measure.
“Good, because that’s what everyone wants. So if you- I mean someone! Wants to
court me, they have to do it right! With flowers and romantic dinners under the
full moon.” She sighed dreamily.
Was that all it took? A few plants and food at night? That seemed so simple.
“That’s it?” He asked a bit disappointed.
“What do you mean, that’s it?” Tiger Lily frowned at him. “Of course he would
also have to do a lot of other things! Like being really nice to me, bringing
me presents, giving me compliments, invite me to romantic places, and many
other things!” She said sharply.
“What kind of presents?” Peter couldn’t even begin to imagine what she referred
to with all that.
“Oh you know… beautiful things. Jewelry, treats, fine clothes…”
Somehow Peter couldn’t imagine Hook wanting any of those things. Or maybe he
did? But where would Peter get them from? He probably had to go to Earth for
that…
“Alright. Presents.” He confirmed. “And compliments… what sorts of compliments
do people like to get?” This whole thing was just silly; Peter couldn’t care
less about compliments, but maybe he was just different than others in that way
too.
“You know, like that I have beautiful eyes and stuff like that!” She laughed,
giving him a shove.
“Oh that. Yeah, alright. And what about those romantic places? What places do
you think are romantic?” What did that even mean?!
“For example the beach, at sunset… Like right now.” She smiled at him with a
strange glint in her eyes as they slowly exited the forest where the moist,
leafy ground began turning to dry sand.
Peter looked around in confusion. This was supposed to be romantic? It looked
the same way it did every evening – what was she talking about?
“Huh,” He said slowly. “What other places?” Surely there were better places
than this?
“Oh, I don’t know… I would love to see Neverland from the clouds. Just imagine
how much more beautiful a sunset is from up there!” She took his hand and spun
him around, gazing up at the pink clouds above them.
Peter had seen the sunset from up there a million times too – it was nothing
special. Or was it? Perhaps it was for someone who never saw it? Would Hook
like it?
“It must be so beautiful and romantic!” Tiger Lily continued. “Isn’t it?”
Suddenly they stood very close; so close he could smell the scent of her breath
that smelled like a sweet berry of some kind.
So different from Hook’s breath that always smelled like tobacco and rum.
“Uh, yes… Yes, I think it is…” Peter mumbled, taking a step back. She was
acting so odd today. Did she know he was asking because of Hook?! Maybe she
suspected! Was she trying to get details out of him?
“I must be going! Thank you so much for your help, Tiger Lily!” He pulled his
hand free and took off before he ended up spilling something about Hook.
Somewhere behind him he heard her calling a goodbye, but his mind was already
elsewhere. Talking to Tiger Lily had been very effective, and he was bubbling
with ideas of what to do to get Hook’s attention. Surely Hook and Tiger Lily
weren’t that different, right? She had said that everyone loved romance, so
that had to include Hook, even if it was a bit hard to imagine. But then again,
Peter had already found out that there was a lot more to the captain than met
the eye.
 
~*~
The following morning, James woke up feeling very rested for no particular
reason. He had slept in so it was already quite late and a warm sun shone into
his cabin through the gap in the thick curtains. Pan had stayed away all night,
so James had managed to get a good night’s rest and was looking forward to a
bright day filled with nothing at all. Like always.
The mere thought made him lazy and he rolled around in bed for a few minutes,
debating whether it was worth getting up or not, until he heard a suspicious
sound from the deck; was that the pestiferous scamp again?
With an annoyed groan, he finally pulled himself up, raking his hand through
the mess of curls on his head; well that was going to ruin the boring day he
had planned to have. Unless of course he was just paranoid and it wasn’t the
brat at all but just a seagull or something. Which was more likely though? Pan
or seagull? And what was he secretly hoping for…?
Even more annoyed than before – though more at himself this time – he finally
got up, put his shirt on and exited his cabin, nearly having a stroke at the
sight of his deck.
“Uh… Pan?” He muttered stupidly, looking around.
The boy landed in front of him with an apprehensive look.
“What the hell is all this?” James asked, torn between amusement and shock.
Pan looked around a bit flustered and shrugged. “I-I didn’t know what kind of
flowers you liked…” he mumbled.
“So you decided to bring every flower from the entire island?” James almost
laughed, looking around his ship that was covered in every imaginable flower,
all the way from the main mast down to the hull. How had he even gotten them
all here? Surely that was the fairies doing. Damn creatures. How was he ever
supposed to get rid of all this again?
Pan shrugged again. “Not every… Which one do you like?” he muttered a bit
dejectedly.
Though James wanted to yell at him for having decorated his entire ship in
flowers, he was actually highly entertained and a bit touched, though he tried
to ignore that last part; let’s not forget that this was Pan: ultimate source
of all misery in Neverland and the reason James was stuck here. “This isn’t
really what I meant yesterday when I said you should be nice, Pan.” Although it
was a lot better than having the squat showing up in the middle of the night to
suck him off. Wasn’t it…?
“Oh,” Pan said slowly while James tried not to laugh. Or maybe he should laugh?
He had no idea what he wanted this situation to turn into.
“Tell your forest-mites to get all this stuff off my ship or I’ll pull their
wings out,” he said coldly, deciding that this was too ridiculous. Being
amiable with Pan was one thing, but he would not have his proud pirate ship
looking like a fairy garden.
With that, he returned into his cabin, slamming the door. Had he made a
mistake? Should he have just gone for… for what? What were they doing? He
wasn’t a woman that wanted to be courted! Especially not by a man… Even less a
little boy.
He just wanted to go home… But how would he? Maybe he really should have tried
to be a little nicer? But it had caught him so off guard that he hadn’t had
enough time to think about the pros and cons.
If this was Pan’s idea of being nice, what would come next?
What was James’ idea of ‘nice’ anyway? He really hadn’t thought that through…
Perhaps he should stop acting so impulsively and actually think about what he
did given the dire consequences his actions – or words – had on Pan lately.
~*~
Angrily, Peter flew away from the Jolly Roger to tell the fairies to remove all
the plants from Hook’s ship. Did Hook not like flowers? But Tiger Lily had said
everyone liked those! Maybe he just needed to find the right one? But which
could it be? Surely he hadn’t missed it? He had taken pretty much every flower
from the entire island… Perhaps Hook liked flowers from Earth? Were they even
different from the ones here?
What if Hook preferred other stuff? Maybe those… what were they called?
Romantic dinners? Perhaps he should try that instead.
Peter was determined to find something Hook would appreciate; he just had to
keep trying.
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