Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/430639. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Merlin_(TV) Relationship: Merlin/Arthur_Pendragon Additional Tags: Alternate_Universe_-_High_School Collections: High_School_Merlin_2012 Stats: Published: 2012-06-10 Words: 6905 ****** For Every Action... ****** by hs_merlin_fest Summary Merlin is forced to tutor Arthur and things happen . . . Written by jessa_anna! Notes Beta’d by my non-fandom friend, K. Any other mistakes are mine, so feel free to point them out. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy! Arthur hates falling asleep. It’s not that he dreams of the game, the one where he got hurt. No, he never dreams of that. Instead, he dreams of walking on the beach and swimming in the ocean, of tracking a deer through the forest while the dawn breaks through the trees, and of standing on a mountain and looking at the endless green, impossibly large to the miniscule him. But the dreams always shift and turn so that somehow he’s drowning in the ocean, lost in the woods, and falling down the mountain. And in the minutes before he wakes, he feels the pain again. The sharp jolt and blinding flash that settles into a sharp, endless pain. Arthur wakes the moment he realizes that it is his foot. The foot that he spends most of his waking hours pretending does not exist. When his eyes open, and he’s confronted with the cheerful yellow walls and plastic wood grain furniture, Arthur realizes that as much as he hates sleeping, he hates waking up more. Because when he wakes up, he realizes that he is in the hospital with a concussion and a broken ankle, and he can’t go back to playing football anytime soon. And every time he remembers, he wants to turn on his side and fall back into another dream that will take him away from this place, where he can revel in the freedom of his body. Most of the time, he can’t. He can’t because there are nurses and doctors there, or Morgana laughing and telling him about her latest boyfriend, or his friends trying to be cheerful while their eyes blare out the betrayal they feel for losing their one chance, or, worse of all, Uther standing tall beside the bed, talking into his mobile and looking down at Arthur in the bed with disappointment deep in his eyes. This time is different. This time there is a dark haired boy scowling as he reads Catcher in the Rye, his feet propped on the edge of Arthur’s bed and leaning back in his chair. He looks familiar, but Arthur can’t place his face, so the first words out of his mouth are: “Who the fuck are you?” The boy looks up from his book. “I’m Merlin,” he says. With a sigh, he puts down the book and reaches into the black messenger bag at his side. He pulls out a white sheet of paper and puts it into Arthur’s hands. “Kilgharrah sent this. And he sent me to proctor it.” Arthur looks at the paper. It takes a second for his mind to realize he’s looking at a physics test. “Why?’ he asks, “I missed the last two days of class. I don’t know the stuff that’s on here.” Merlin rolls his eyes and reaches down into his bag for a pencil. He hands it to Arthur. “We haven’t had class for the last two days. The entire school had one day off to mourn the loss of our championship hopes and ‘pray’ for you. Then Kilgharrah was sick yesterday so we ended up watching Young Einstein. You are right where the rest of us were this morning.” Arthur grimaced at the mention of the championship. He didn’t need this geek telling him that he had completely bollixed his team’s chances of winning. He had his own memory and Uther’s attitude to do that for him. “So you have to watch me take this test?” “Yes,” said Merlin, “And I don’t have all day, so please hurry up and start.” “Fine,” said Arthur. He sat up straight in bed and grabbed a hardcover novel from his nightstand to write on. He looked around it for a pen, moving around newspapers, Kleenex, and a mug of water. “Here,” said Merlin, holding out a pencil. “Thanks,” said Arthur. He took it and started to go through the test. It didn’t take Arthur long to realize that it didn’t matter if he was on the same page as his classmates he was still hopelessly lost when it came to physics. The questions looked like they were in a foreign language. Arthur knew this before, of course, but he always went to class, studied it, and took tests in the hopes that it would suddenly all make sense. It never did. The only thing he could do was hope that he managed to get just enough questions right to pass. With that happy thought in his mind, Arthur started filling out the test. Merlin sat next to the bed, reading his book the entire time. Occasionally, Arthur would look up and his gaze would land on the boy. Every time it did, his stomach would curl up a little more, and Arthur would have to fight to redirect his attention to the test. When he finally wrote the last answer down, Merlin immediately put out his hand. “Just a minute,” said Arthur, “I want to double check my answers.” “Why? You’re an athlete. You’re going to pass. Athletes always do,” Merlin said. Arthur snorted. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly an athlete anymore,” he said as he pointed to the white bandage covering the deep cut on his face. Behind that was the concussion that, more than the broken ankle, had destroyed all his hopes. “Once an athlete, always an athlete,” Merlin said, but he let Arthur look over his test one last time before grabbing it out of his hands and walking quickly out of the hospital room. ******** A week later, Arthur walked into the school as smoothly as he could on crutches. He saw the pitying glances other students gave him and the occasional face trying to hide its disappointment. Arthur kept his head down through his classes, trying to pretend that he was okay, that this entire situation was normal for him. For the most part, it worked. Nobody came up to talk to him besides a few token gestures from his friends, and Arthur could breathe a little freer. Of course, it couldn’t last. Arthur’s peace of mind came crashing down when Mr. Kilgharrah asked him and Merlin to stay behind after physics. Arthur sat in his seat, his foot propped up on an empty desk turned sideways. Merlin sat on a desk a few rows away from him, not bothering to unsling his messenger bag from his body or take off the red scarf from around his neck. “Arthur, Merlin,” Kilgharrah said, his voice deep and sounding almost impossibly old, “We have a bit of a problem. Arthur, to put it bluntly, you are failing this course. Your test scores are dismal, you haven’t bothered to turn in half of your homework this semester, and you have somehow managed to ruin every experiment. Merlin, you are getting great grades, but your absences from earlier this semester have dragged down your final grade to a C.” “So?” asked Merlin, his face twisted into a grimace. “I have an extra credit opportunity for you, Mr. Emrys, and a means for Mr. Pendragon to raise his grade to passing,” Kilgharrah said, his voice rolling smoothly as if he had not been interrupted. “No,” said Arthur and Merlin at the same time. Arthur looked down at his desk and hoped against hope that he was wrong. “Merlin, I want you to tutor Arthur,” Kilgharrah said. Merlin groaned loudly, but Arthur didn’t and couldn’t look at him. He couldn’t believe this was happening now. How much worse could his life get? “I’ll leave you boys to figure out when and where you’ll meet for these tutoring sessions,” Kilgharrah said. He picked up his black satchel and walked out of the classroom. Arthur hit his head on the desk and let it lie there. He closed his eyes and tried to wish himself nine days in the past, back when he thought his life was good. It’s not like being tutored was the end of the world. Hell, Merlin was basically harmless. Arthur actually admired him, if he was honest with himself. Merlin was the only person on campus who was out and proud, while Arthur was just scared. He heard Merlin clear his throat so Arthur turned his head to him and opened his eyes. “So, when do you want to set this up?” Merlin asked. Arthur sighed and sat up. “How about today, after school, at the library?” Arthur said. “Sounds good to me,” Merlin said. He slid off of the desk and walked out of the room. Arthur grabbed his bag and crutches and walked to the door. After he made sure the hallway was clear so that he didn’t have to face anyone else, Arthur snuck out of the classroom and hobbled down to his locker. ******** Merlin could hear Arthur behind him, trying to move as fast as he could down the hallway. Merlin forced himself to look straight ahead, to not give in to his urge to just stare at him. Arthur was . . . Arthur was . . . well, Arthur was the guy Merlin had been crushing on since forever. He wished he knew the moment that the rich, popular boy had wormed his way into his head. If Merlin knew, then maybe he could go back in time, or even just his memory, so he could find some extenuating circumstances and convince himself that he didn’t really feel this way. That his gut didn’t clutch up in excitement whenever their paths crossed in the hallway or that he sometimes lost track of whatever the teacher was saying because he was distracted by the way the light shone on Arthur’s golden hair. Merlin hadn’t been happy exactly when Kilgharrah asked him to proctor Arthur’s exam. In fact, the way his gut started to churn around made him feel like he was going to be sick. Still, he couldn’t stop grinning, and everything seemed a little brighter. Merlin’s good mood lasted through the rest of the day through his journey to the hospital. When Merlin arrived at the hospital, Arthur was sleeping. He looked so calm and peaceful, so much like Merlin thought he could look in real life if he would ease the pressure he put on himself. Merlin couldn’t bring himself to wake Arthur, so he pulled out the book he was reading and sat in a chair beside the bed. Knowing how he tended to lose himself in books, Merlin propped his feet up on the bed so he could feel Arthur move around when he woke. Then Arthur didn’t even say hello to him when he wakes up, and Merlin remembers why he works hard to convince himself that he can’t really like a boy in the popular crowd. Arthur is gruff and sounds slightly angry. Merlin knows he has every right to be, since it was only a few days ago that Arthur was viciously tackled on the football field and suffered a concussion and a broken ankle, most likely ruining Camelot High’s chance at winning state this year. But still, did he have to sound so condescending? Merlin tried to keep his anger to himself, okay, it was really his anger at being attracted to such a jerk, though he’s pretty sure that he did a bad job of it. He gave Arthur the test and explained why he was there. Merlin could swear that Arthur’s eyes clouded over a little when he mentioned the mandatory day of mourning, but they cleared so fast that Merlin couldn’t be sure. As it was, Arthur grumbled through the test and made even more of a fuss when Merlin tried to take it away from him. Again, it made sense that Arthur would want to look over it again since it was standard test-taking practice, but Merlin needed to leave. His skin was prickling more and more with every minute he stayed in Arthur’s hospital room. He needed to get away or he would jump Arthur, bury his hands in those tasseled blond hair, and smother his face in kisses. Since Arthur had only ever indicated through endless girlfriends that he was straight, Merlin was pretty sure that enacting his fantasy would only cause Arthur to completely freak out. Merlin wasn’t brave enough to take the chance. He left as soon as he could before he did anything stupid and hoped that he would never have to deal with Arthur in a closer context than staring across the classroom. Merlin finally reached his locker, only to find Gwen, Will, and Freya sitting in a circle around it. He grabbed his lunch from his locker and quickly glanced at the other students going by. Some ate lunch outside their lockers like his friends and him. A few hurried down to the cafeteria to get some lunch as fast as they could. Freya pulled at his jeans to get his attention, and Merlin smiled down at her, shut his locker, and joined the group. “So what did Kilgharrah want?” Will asked. “He wants me to tutor Arthur Pendragon,” Merlin said as he pulled out his sandwich. “Oi, why?” asked Gwen. “Because I missed so many classes at the beginning of the semester that the only way I will get the grade I need for the scholarship is to earn some extra credit. And Kilgharrah has decided that tutoring Arthur is the best way to get that,” Merlin said. His friends all went quiet at the mention of Merlin’s absences. It’s a subject that they never bring up, and though Merlin knows it’s because they really have no idea what to say about how sick his mother was, he’s still grateful that they won’t force him to explain what happened and how it affected him. The memories are still raw and painful, and he doesn’t want to revisit them. “Are you sure that you can handle this? I mean, we all know how you feel about Arthur,” Freya spoke up then, and Merlin was infinitely grateful that his quiet friend knew when to skip over the bad parts in conversations. “I can handle it, I think,” Merlin said, “As long as he keeps himself from being too annoying.” “And exactly how is Arthur annoying?” Gwen asked with a little smirk. Merlin started in on his usual rant about Arthur Pendragon, but he still managed to catch the knowing glances Freya and Gwen shoot each other. ********* Merlin was already sitting in the library when Arthur came in. He was reading a new book, The Portrait of Dorian Gray this time, and sat at a desk near the entrance. He leaned back in his chair with his legs propped up on the table so he wouldn’t fall. Arthur sighed and walked over to him. Of course, he had to pick a table where everybody could see that he needed help. It was the cherry on top of his crappy day. “Okay,” said Arthur, setting his backpack down and sitting next to Merlin, “Where do we start?” Merlin put his book down and turned to Arthur. “When did you start having trouble in physics?” he asked. “Right after the part where I admitted to being Arthur Pendragon,” Arthur said. “That far back, huh?” said Merlin, “Well, then what was your first unit about?” Arthur tried to explain it to him, but the ideas, concepts, and mathematical formulas kept mixing around in his head so what came out was actually a highly sophisticated form of gibberish. “Okay,” said Merlin, cutting Arthur off after a few minutes, “I can understand why you need to have a tutor. You don’t have anything except the basics down right now.” “Yes, Merlin,” Arthur said, “If I understood this, then I wouldn’t need a tutor.” “Yeah, well, you better pay attention to this when I go over this. I hate having to repeat myself,” Merlin said. Arthur nodded and listened tensely as Merlin went over the concepts. As much as Arthur was loathing his life right now, he really did need to pass physics. Uther would never let him live it down if he failed. As Merlin explained about Newton’s Laws, Arthur found his mind shifting from his distant father to the boy sitting next to him. Despite his decent grades in every class but physics, Arthur had never had a teacher who could fully engage his brain. But Merlin was doing it. What’s more, Arthur started to notice that Merlin was, well, attractive. His dark hair curled at his collar hiding his rather large ears and his blue eyes had a spark of happiness when Arthur showed that he understood a concept. Arthur can’t or, more accurately, doesn’t want to think of what they’d look like narrowed in anger. Merlin is resentful and bitter, but pure anger seems to have escaped him. Before Arthur knew it, an hour was up, and Merlin started to gather up his books and pens. “I have to get going,” he said, “My uncle is picking me up soon, and I need to grab the rest of my homework.” Arthur nodded. “When do you want to meet again?” he asked. “How about Wednesday? You work on the stuff I’ve given you and attempt the stuff we’re getting in class, and we’ll go over it then,” Merlin said. Arthur nodded. “Sounds good,” he said. He had to force himself to not watch Merlin walk away. ******** The second tutoring session doesn’t go well, if Arthur’s distraction and Merlin’s reluctance could have been called well. Arthur had tried to talk Merlin into making it later in the afternoon so that he could avoid meeting up with his teammates. Merlin flat out refused. If he didn’t want to walk the two miles to his house, he had to be out of the library and in the bank lobby by 5 p.m. Despite Merlin’s stance on when they could meet, Arthur still managed to be ten minutes late. He ran into the library, only slowing down when one of the librarians shot him a look. “You’re late,” Merlin said, not even looking up from his book. “Yeah, yeah, sorry,” Arthur said. Merlin put down his book. “That’s it? You’re not the only one who has a life here,” he said. “I said that I was sorry. There’s not much I can do about now, is there?” Arthur said. “Fine, just don’t be late again,” Merlin said. Arthur nodded, and the session began in earnest. It didn’t go too badly at first. Arthur had finished the assignment from Merlin with few mistakes, and although he had trouble with what the class was doing now, he had a marginally better grasp of it than before. Merlin could see that, and he acted patiently, at least until the end of the session. Then everything went to hell. It started when Valiant walked into the library. He headed straight for Arthur, anger seeping out of his pores. “Thank you oh so much, Pendragon. There’s absolutely no way the team can regroup in time to win regionals, let alone state. You’ve royally screwed us,” Valiant said. “Sorry,” Arthur said, “I really tried to avoid that guy smashing into me.” “Yeah, well, you didn’t avoid him very well. And now the team is paying for it,” Valiant said. Merlin couldn’t listen to more. He slammed his physics textbook shut and watched as both Valiant and Arthur jumped. “Valiant, if you haven’t noticed, we’re in the middle of something here. Instead of blaming Arthur for an accident that occurred while he was winning the game, why don’t you go figure out where your locker is, take out your books, crack the spines on them, and do your homework for the first time ever,” Merlin said. Arthur just stared at Merlin, while Valiant sputtered and then replied, “Leave us alone, whoever you are. This isn’t a conversation that concerns you.” Valiant’s statement made Arthur whip his head around. “Don’t talk to him like that. He’s Merlin, he’s my tutor, and . . . and . . . whatever.” Arthur stood up with that last statement and threw his books into his bag. He managed to sling on his backpack and pick up his crutches. He hobbled out of the library with as much dignity as he could muster. Merlin threw his books in his bag and quickly followed. He caught up to Arthur at his locker. “What the hell was that about?” Merlin asked. “I just defended you to the biggest jerk in school, and you’re angry?” Arthur said. He started grabbing other schoolbooks out of his locker and putting them in his backpack. “I defended you first,” Merlin said. Arthur said, “I’m not disputing that. I just didn’t want to hear what else he had to say. He can’t say anything that I don’t already know.” Merlin sighed and leaned against the locker next to Arthur’s. “I know that I’ve given you a lot of crap for you know, being you, but you really need to stop blaming yourself about your injuries. Life sucks sometimes, but at least nothing is damaged permanently, and you have another year in school to go for that championship trophy.” Arthur smiled ruefully before shutting his locker. “You’re right,” he said, “There is always next year.” ******** Two days later, and Arthur and Merlin were sitting in Arthur’s room. Yesterday, Arthur had texted him and asked if he minded having their tutoring sessions at his house. He even offered to drive Merlin home so that he didn’t have to worry about catching a ride. Arthur was weirdly nervous about it. It wasn’t like he hadn’t had friends over before, but they never really came over for studying and none of them were Merlin. Merlin, who managed to make Arthur feel better about injuring himself so close to the end of the season. Merlin of the blinding smile and sharp blue eyes. Of course, Merlin’s eyes quickly took in every detail of Arthur’s room. His walls were covered in sports posters, placed perfectly square around the room. Every item on his desk was situated so that it formed a perfect right angle with another item. There were no books scattered on the floor or shoes kicked off into a corner. It was the result of a regimental father and having a cleaning staff who took their jobs very seriously. Merlin looked more than a little out of place, especially when Arthur told him that they couldn’t study on the comfort of Arthur’s bed or downstairs at the dining room table where they would at least have room to spread out. Instead, they sat side by side at Arthur’s desk because, as Uther stated over and over when Arthur was in elementary school, that’s where homework was done. Still they weren’t squished, since Uther had also insisted that Arthur have a full size executive desk in his room. There was a lot of space to spread out their books and papers. Still, it doesn’t hold the impersonality of the dining room table. They are past Newton’s Laws now, since Arthur only really needed a refresher on them, a result of having this information pounded into his head since sixth grade. Now they’re discussing momentum. Arthur gets tripped up when Merlin started to discuss how force and time interact to change the momentum of an object. His brain can’t take in the mathematical equation, and Merlin finally agreed to take a break. “Do you want something to drink?” he asked Merlin, remembering his manners. “Some juice would be good,” Merlin said. “Okay, I’ll go get some,” Arthur said. He stood up and walked to the door, but before he could go through, Merlin looks up from his textbook. “Do you mind if I check my email on your computer?” he asked. “Sure, go ahead,” Arthur said. He walked downstairs to the kitchen, where he finds some cheese in the fridge. He cuts slices and places them, along with some crackers, on a plate. Arthur digs out a tray and loads it up with the snacks. The only way Arthur could procrastinate more, dreading having to learn even more physics, is to actually squeeze the juice himself. Since Arthur had no idea where the juicer is, he had to settle for simply filling two glasses full of apple juice. He added them to the tray and then finds Geoffrey, his father’s butler, to carry the tray upstairs. Arthur could manage to make the snack, but he still can’t carry the tray. Geoffrey picked up the tray and followed silently behind Arthur. Arthur has almost reached his door when he hears the sounds. They’re muffled, but they sound an awful lot like moaning and grunting. Arthur’s entire body goes still for a second, and he asked Geoffrey to set the tray down on a table in the hallway. This is definitely something that should not get back to Uther. Only when Geoffrey has walked all the way back down the staircase does Arthur push open the door to his bedroom. For a second all Arthur can see is the two men on screen, writhing and moaning in a passion. And then his brain kicked into gear with a jolt. It’s—it’s Arthur’s worst nightmare, is what it is. Merlin had somehow managed to find the one folder Arthur hid in his computer, under the title of “Recipes,” and was password protected, and opened not only it, but one of the videos in it. “What are you doing?” he asked, his voice low and angry. Merlin had been leaning back in Arthur’s desk chair, but he sat forward as soon as Arthur talked. “Arthur—,” he said. “Get out,” Arthur growled. Merlin looked at Arthur, opened his mouth as if to say something, and then snapped it shut. He stood up, gathered up his books, and left. “I’m sorry,” he said before Arthur slammed his bedroom door in Merlin’s face. ******* Merlin hadn’t talked to Arthur in nearly a week. Every time he tried to corner him after class to set up another tutoring session or to just apologize, Arthur would squirm away. Eventually, Merlin got desperate enough to leave a written apology in Arthur’s locker. Things didn’t get really desperate, however, until Kilgharrah decided to keep Merlin after class. “How are the tutoring session going, Merlin?” Kilgharrah asked. He stood by the blackboard, tall and imposing. “Fine,” said Merlin. “I’ve noticed that Arthur is slipping a little this week. He was doing much better last week,” Kilgharrah said. “We’ve both been too busy to meet this week,” Merlin said. “Ahhh,” said Kilgharrah, “I suggest that you remedy that soon. Both of your grades depend upon it.” “I know,” said Merlin as he stood up and started to gather his things. Kilgharrah mumbled something about how he thought they were two sides of a coin, but now he wasn’t sure. Merlin didn’t bother to ask about it. Instead, he walked out of the classroom and down to his locker. His friends were gathered there, like always. Freya jumped and looked sharply at Merlin when he angrily slammed his locker shut after putting away his bag and grabbing his lunch. “What’s with you?” she asked. Merlin slid down his locker to the floor and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m supposed to tutor Arthur, but I found something that I shouldn’t of, and now he won’t talk to me. His grade and my grade depend on me tutoring him. I don’t know what to do.” “You apologize. A lot,” Will said. Merlin put down his hand and glared at his friend. “I’ve been doing that all week. It’s not working.” “I have a solution,” Gwen said. “What?” asked Merlin. “You go to his party on Friday,” Gwen said. “Yeah right, how am I going to be able to get in? Arthur will have his friends haul me out to the curb if I even attempt to set foot in his house,” Merlin said. Gwen smiled. “You leave that to me,” she said. ******** Gwen drove Will, Freya, and Merlin to Arthur’s party on Friday night. Instead of pulling into the front drive, which was the way Arthur had driven the first time, Gwen pulled into a small road in the back of the house. “How do you know about this?” Merlin asked as he climbed out of her car. Gwen smiled at him. “I was in drama club with Arthur’s stepsister Morgana last year. She’s in college now, but she did agree to come back and slip us into the party.” “Thanks, Gwen,” Merlin said. She nodded and led the group to the back door. Once there, she pulled out her phone and quickly typed a text. A few minutes later the back door swung open and a tall brunette was standing there. “Gwen,” she said, opening up her arms to hug the shorter girl. She looked up at the rest of the group and motioned them inside the house. “Arthur has basically invited the entire school, so I’m pretty sure that you won’t stick out too much,” she said. The group walked into the house, Merlin at the very end. Gwen stood on her tiptoes to whisper something in her ear. Morgana smiled and motioned to Merlin. “I understand that you are currently on the outs with my brother,” Morgana said. Merlin nodded, not wanting to reveal too much of why. “Go up to his room, and I’ll make sure he meets you there,” Morgana said. “Are you sure?” Merlin asked, “I don’t want you to get into any trouble with Arthur.” Morgana snorted. “Oh, he’ll come. I’m the one you don’t want to mess with.” “Okay,” said Merlin. Morgana showed him the back staircase and gave directions to Arthur’s room from there. Merlin walked slowly up the stairs to Arthur’s bedroom. He stood inside the door so that Arthur couldn’t accuse him of doing anything to his stuff. “Morgana, why are you making me leave my party?” Arthur said from the hallway. “I need to talk to you. Privately,” Morgana said. Merlin heard them stop outside Arthur’s door. “Fine,” he said. The door creaked open, and Merlin walked back into the far corner. “After you, dear brother,” Morgana said. Arthur walked through the door with his head down. Behind him, Morgana shut the door. Arthur heard the slam and turned around. “Morgana, let me out,” Arthur said. He tried to turn the doorknob and then banged on the door when it wouldn’t open. “I’ll let you out,” she said, “After you talk to Merlin.” Arthur turned back around after that and immediately found Merlin in the corner. “What do you want?” Arthur said. Merlin walked forward and stopped right in front of Arthur. “I wanted to apologize for invading your privacy. I shouldn’t have looked at that file on your computer.” “No, you shouldn’t have,” Arthur said. He walked past Merlin and began to pace in front of his bed. “Are you going to tell anyone?” he asked softly. “No! I would never!” said Merlin. “Okay,” said Arthur. “Might I suggest that you change the name of your file? You don’t exactly look like a guy who collects recipes,” Merlin said. Arthur turned on him. “What would you know about what I collect, Mer lin,” he said. “It’s just kind of obvious, based on your personality and what I did see on your computer, that ‘Recipes’ is a file that is hiding something, especially when it’s password protected,” Merlin said. Arthur stalked closer to him. “For your information, I actually like to cook. I even have a box full of recipes in my closet.” “But none on your computer. I’m just saying that you should change it to ‘Rugby’ or ‘Cricket,’ something vague but still sporty,” Merlin said. “Vaguely sporty, huh?” Arthur said. He was too close, so Merlin started to walk backwards. “Yes, it would hide it a little better,” said Merlin. His foot hit the wall, and he stopped moving. “What do you know about hiding, Merlin?” Arthur asked. His face was so close that Merlin could feel Arthur’s breath ghosting over his ear. He shivered. “Quite a lot, actually,” he said, “I hide lots of things, like hating my mom’s cooking. It’s not as big a secret, but—“ Arthur kissed him then. Merlin could feel Arthur’s anger at being discovered, his fear of having it known, and his frustration at his life. He could feel Arthur’s lips bruising his own. And then the kiss turned. It became dirty as Arthur began to run his tongue along Merlin’s lips. Merlin opened his mouth, and Arthur took the chance to dart his tongue in. He licked along Merlin’s teeth. Merlin began to respond then, his tongue tangling with Arthur’s. Arthur’s hands had been splayed on the wall around Merlin, but now they moved to his sides. Arthur’s hands were warm as he pushed up Merlin’s shirt and began to touch him. Merlin groaned and stopped kissing Arthur long enough to pull off his shirt. Arthur’s mouth moved from Merlin’s lips, down his neck, to his collarbone. He sucked at the skin, leaving a mark. Merlin’s hands moved up under Arthur’s shirt. His fingers brushed Arthur’s nipples. Arthur responded by biting down on the join of Merlin’s shoulder and neck. Merlin really didn’t know what happened, but somehow, Arthur maneuvered him around and across the room to the bed. It hadn’t been a very graceful maneuver, what with his ankle and everything, but Merlin had been too involved with the feel of Arthur’s lips and the taste of his tongue to care. Arthur’s shirt had somehow come off. His mouth moved along Merlin’s neck and jaw, leaving kisses and little bite marks in their wake. Merlin keened when Arthur finds a spot behind his ear. Their thighs slipped together, Merlin bucking up into Arthur’s hips while Arthur bore down. Merlin’s fingers slipped into Arthur’s hair and held on as Arthur rutted against him. Suddenly, there are too many clothes in the way. Merlin frantically reached for Arthur’s zip and managed to undo it. He pushed down on Arthur’s jeans until they catch at his feet. Merlin can’t get them off, however, because Arthur started to pull down his. Merlin’s jeans get caught at his knobby knees. He can’t bring himself to care. Arthur caught both of their cocks in his hand and the feeling of them rubbing together makes Merlin’s eyes roll back into his head. It feels like only a short while before Merlin is spilling between them, his brain going white hot with the sensation. Arthur comes a few strokes later. They lay together, their chests heaving in rhythm, until Arthur stood up, grabbed some tissues, and threw the box at Merlin. He pulled up his jeans and boxers and yanked up his shirt. He shoved hard against his bedroom door. Merlin could hear whatever was blocking it move out of the way. He left the room then without looking back. ******** Arthur didn’t let himself think about what happened with Merlin until Lance, his best friend, came over to help clean up the next day. He studiously avoided all thoughts of how wide Merlin’s eyes could go when he orgasms or the taste of his skin. When Lance came, they worked in silence, cleaning out the living room. It’s only when they make it to the kitchen that Lance spoke up. “Where did you disappear to last night?” he asked. “I had to go talk to someone,” Arthur said. “Was it Merlin?” Lance asked. Arthur looked over at his friend, who was busy sorting the recyclables from the trash at the counter. “How do you know about Merlin?” he asked. “I kind of hooked up with his friend Gwen last night,” Lance said, “And she basically told me everything.” “Not everything,” Arthur said before he could stop himself. “What do you mean, ‘not everything’?” Lance said, “I thought that Merlin just wanted to apologize to you.” Arthur sighed and closed his eyes. For the first time in a long time, he was tired of hiding. He was tired of trying to be the person that Uther wanted, that the school expected, that his teammates required. He just wanted to be Arthur for once. “We kind of hooked up,” Arthur said, his eyes still closed. He could hear Lance gasp and then release his breath slowly. “And . . .” Lance said. “And I ran out of the room right after,” Arthur said. “That’s harsh,” said Lance. Arthur opened his eyes and looked at his friend. Lance wasn’t looking freaked out or like he wanted to run at Arthur’s declaration. Instead, he managed to look both supportive and disappointed. “I know,” he said. “Do you like him?” Lance asked. “Yes,” said Arthur, “More than I thought, until last night.” “So what are you going to do?” Lance said. “I don’t know,” said Arthur, “But I’m pretty sure a simple apology won’t cut it.” “I have an idea,” said Lance, “But it might be more than a little embarrassing for you.” Arthur sighed and put his head in his hands. “I think I have to do it. I don’t think there’s any other way. I’ll just have to be brave.” ******** As far as embarrassing gestures go, this one was rather minimal. It simply consisted of Arthur putting a different note on Merlin’s desk during physics class every day for the next week. The notes all contain some sort of apology, and then one thing that Arthur likes about Merlin. Merlin was tempted to throw the first one away, but Gwen and Freya convinced him to at least read it. Merlin, I’m a dick, and I know it. I’m sorry for running out on you at my party and for being angry for opening up my files. I guess I did make that a little too tempting with the crappy file name and all. Please forgive me. Will you go out with me sometime on a real date? I like you, a lot. I find it fascinating how you come to school every day with your hair lying down flat and by lunch, it’s curling everywhere and sticking up like you’ve been running your hands through all morning. It makes me want to do the same thing. -Arthur The apology changed as Arthur found more and more creative names to call himself and more things he liked about Merlin. He liked how he could always tell what Merlin was thinking by looking in his eyes, even when Merlin was angry or sniped at him, like in the hospital. He liked Merlin’s smile. He liked how Merlin didn’t let him get away with anything. Merlin kept every note. The note on Friday was a little different. All it said was Merlin, Come to the game tonight. Arthur Merlin smiled softly to himself and then went to find Freya and Gwen for advice on what he should wear to the game. ******** Merlin sat on the bleachers for the entirety of the football game, wondering exactly why Arthur wanted him here. He thought that maybe something would happen during the game or even during halftime, but Arthur sat in the sidelines without turning around to look at Merlin. Instead, it looked like he was talking to the coach or saying random things to his teammates. It looked like he was a part of the team again. That alone made Merlin smile. ********* Arthur didn’t need to turn around to know that Merlin had come to the game. He could feel Merlin’s eyes burning a hole in the back of his letterman’s jacket. He forced himself to concentrate on the game. Lance had convinced him, after they figured out a suitable, non-overly girly way to woo Merlin that the next step to making his life happier was to come back to the team. Lance pointed out that just because Arthur couldn’t play, it didn’t mean that he couldn’t bring other knowledge to the table. He knew how to call the plays, how to see which ones would most likely work the best. Even during halftime, when all Arthur wanted to do was catch Merlin’s eye, he made himself follow the team and the coaches to the locker room. He was treated fairly in the locker room by the coaches and his teammates, allowed to have equal input in the discussion and equal pep in the build up to going out for the next half. Of course, waiting to see Merlin didn’t make the second half go any faster either. Arthur finally turned around and smiled at Merlin when Camelot High scored the winning touchdown. He slipped past the rope lining the field and clopped through the crowd, up the bleachers to Merlin. “You came,” he said, a little breathless. “Well,” said Merlin, “Somebody kept sending me these sweet notes. When they asked me to come to the game tonight, I couldn’t say no. It would be rude.” “And you are nothing if not rude, huh?” Arthur said. “Yep,” Merlin said. Arthur smiled and kissed Merlin. It was a different kiss than before. Where that kiss had come out of anger and desperation, this one held promise and hope. Arthur broke away before it could deepen. “I’m sorry, Merlin,” he said, “I actually had a bigger declaration planned for after the game, but I couldn’t wait to see you.” “Arthur,” Merlin said with a smile, “Shut up.” He leaned in and kissed Arthur again. 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