Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/8155765. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Code_Geass Relationship: Kururugi_Suzaku/Lelouch_Lamperouge_|_Lelouch_vi_Britannia Character: Lelouch_Lamperouge_|_Lelouch_vi_Britannia, Kururugi_Suzaku, Rolo Lamperouge, Villetta_Nu, Nunnally_vi_Britannia Additional Tags: Emotional_Manipulation, Rimming, Anal_Sex, Anal_Fingering, Dubious Morality, Dub_Con_Elements_But_There's_Full_Consent, Suzaku_Being_Fooled By_Lelouch_Once_Again, Suzaku's_Guilty_Conscience, Warning_For_Lelouch Being_Himself, Rough_Sex, suzalulu_week_2016, Light_Angst Collections: suzalulu_week_2016 Stats: Published: 2016-09-28 Words: 3312 ****** Fool Me Twice ****** by 27th Summary Lelouch and Suzaku used to be lovers. Now that Suzaku is back at Ashford, Lelouch has to fake it or risk Nunnally’s safety. (Takes place in R2) Notes See the end of the work for notes Suzaku Kururugi stands tall at the front of the classroom, introducing himself in polite tones. This time though, he needs no introduction. Already the whispers have broken out, reminiscent of his debut at Ashford Academy, but without the same disdain. This time the whispers are filled with awe and envy. “The White Death is coming to school here?” “That’s the Knight of Seven!” “But he’s an Eleven…” “Who cares? He reports directly to the emperor!” It’s surreal seeing him again, and it’s all Lelouch can do to keep the shock on his face at an acceptable level. Less 'you backstabbing bastard' and more 'my good friend I haven’t seen in awhile'. But even that’s not quite right. This would be so much easier if his memories hadn’t returned, but then Suzaku wouldn’t have cause to be here had Lelouch not become Zero once more. That means he suspects Lelouch has regained his memories; that means Lelouch cannot step a toe out of line without risking Nunnally’s safety, wherever they may be keeping her. He’ll have to go through with this farce, even the parts of it he can hardly bear to think about. He doesn’t need to listen to Villetta assign Suzaku a seat to know that’ll it’ll be next to him. His hand, clenched into a fist beneath the table, is shaking. As Suzaku approaches, unable to completely keep the hatred at bay in his green eyes, Lelouch uncurls his fingers and takes a deep breath. His lips pull into the pretty, winsome smile he’s practiced so many times, shrewd violet eyes softening just enough. “It’s been a while, Suzaku.” Suzaku returns the smile. He’s become a better liar since Lelouch last saw him. He’s also filled out more in his shoulders and his neck is thicker, jaw more square… Not that it’s any concern of Lelouch’s anymore. “Feels like old times, Lelouch.”       It’s scarily easy to fall back into the role of childhood friends with Suzaku, and sometimes Lelouch almost forgets he’s even pretending at all. But then there are moments when he’ll smile at Suzaku and their eyes will meet, and he’ll remember the way Suzaku had dragged him before his father—before the man he hates most in this world—and let Charles zi Britannia take everything from him all over again. He’ll remember that Suzaku is stillletting Charles steal from him, that he believes Lelouch is under Charles’s geass. It’s a thought that snuffs out any lingering vestiges of sentimentality. And he hasn’t even gotten to the worst part of this make-believe yet. No, he’s managed thus far to avoid being entirely alone with Suzaku. Taking care of Rolo and the student council, as well as his gambling habits, are a good enough excuse—for now. But even Lelouch knows he can’t keep avoiding Suzaku forever. It’ll seem too unnatural if he carries on this way. After all, one should want to spend time with their lover (the word leaves a bitter taste in his mouth). Not that anyone but the two of them know, and that at least spares Lelouch from having to act out public displays of affection. Often he curses his own weakness. If only Suzaku hadn’t kissed him one night just after he’d put Nunnally to bed. Suzaku had been over for dinner, was sitting on the couch where Lelouch had insisted he stay so they could talk... If only Lelouch hadn’t kissed him back. He can’t say for sure what drove him to continue, to let Suzaku push him down onto the couch. He likes to think it was all to throw Suzaku off his trail, to further distance himself from Zero in Suzaku’s mind. He likes to think that perhaps he could’ve eventually coaxed Suzaku into joining the Black Knights—before Euphemia came into the picture, anyway. But the truth is more likely that he’d been lonely, spent too much time wearing a mask, and Suzaku was familiar and comforting. His strong arms holding Lelouch down, the crisp, masculine scent of his skin, his warm mouth and soft hair. All of it uncoiled something in Lelouch, and then there was the pleasure. Lelouch had never thought much about sex. He knew he could have it if he wanted to; there are enough willing girls (and even a few willing boys) at Ashford, but he found the whole act undignified. Watching Rivalz drool over Milly day after day only confirmed that lust makes you stupid, and Lelouch is not stupid. But he is still a seventeen year old boy, and what Suzaku could do to him… The things Suzaku haddone to him, horrible messy things that Lelouch had only thought about abstractly before Suzaku put his mouth on him. Even now the thought is enough to send a flush of heat through his traitorous body. It’d been good, for a while, being able to lose himself in Suzaku for an hour or two, shedding his personas—both Zero’s and Lelouch Lamperouge’s. And now he’ll have to put himself in Suzaku’s hands once more or risk Nunnally’s safety, which is something he cannot do. Rolo has offered to kill him and Lelouch gave it a moment of serious thought but… no, Suzaku is still needed. Perhaps he’s overestimating Suzaku’s compassion, but Lelouch feels better knowing Suzaku is around to take care of Nunnally if need be. He might hate Lelouch for everything he’s done, but Nunnally is innocent of any crimes. Lelouch turns a teacup around and around in his hands, sitting at the long table in the student council room, staring at nothing in particular. It has to be today. He can’t put off the inevitable any longer. He can’t risk Nunnally. As if to test his resolve, Suzaku walks in at that moment carrying Arthur. His green eyes widen in surprise when they settle on Lelouch (who has been doing a good job avoiding him up ‘til now) before they narrow in a distinctly suspicious way. “Lelouch, what are you doing here?” he says, voice filled with insincere friendliness. Lelouch turns the teacup in his hands one last time and then sets it down on the table. On the outside he is the picture of calm, turning to smile at Suzaku beatifically; on the inside, he can barely hear over the roar of his own blood. He stands up and turns to face Suzaku. Even with the new hard set of his jaw and the cold suspicion in his eyes, he’s handsome. “Waiting for you,” Lelouch replies. It comes out just shy of seductive, but it hardly makes a difference because then Lelouch is pressing Suzaku back against the wall next to the door and kissing him. Arthur leaps out of Suzaku’s arms. Suzaku’s mouth remains hard under Lelouch’s lips, unyielding. Lelouch spends a minute longer kissing him, tongue sweeping across Suzaku’s lower lip, before Suzaku grabs his upper arms and shoves him away violently. His grip hurts, and Lelouch might have bruises later, but he doesn’t complain. He widens his eyes instead, the picture of innocence, and asks, “Suzaku, what’s wrong? I thought you still…” For all of Suzaku’s disgust his eyes still flicker down to Lelouch’s lips before darting back up to his violet eyes. He hasn’t loosened his grip, holding Lelouch in place. “Did you find someone else?” Lelouch asks softly, sadly. “In Pendragon?” “No, I—” Suzaku shuts his mouth, clearly realizing his mistake. It had been a way out and the idiot hadn’t taken it. His kneejerk reaction is, of course, noble. Suzaku would never cheat, even on someone like Lelouch. Which leaves Lelouch with only one option. He tips his head down to bridge that little bit of height difference between them and presses a soft, lingering kiss to Suzaku’s lips. Then he turns his face so that his mouth is level with Suzaku’s ear, murmuring, “Tonight come by around the usual time.” He brushes his lips along the curve of Suzaku’s ear for good measure, feels him shiver, then steps back. Suzaku lets him go as if burned. Once Lelouch is out the door he starts feeling sick with thoughts of later, and sicker still because of the undeniable excitement at the thought of having Suzaku in his bed again.       It takes longer than it should to convince Rolo to stay out of this. Lelouch has long suspected that Rolo’s brotherly affections may be moving towards outright possessiveness, but he hadn’t expected such a fight. Still, Lelouch knows how to handle Rolo and soon enough he’s agreed to stay clear of Lelouch and Suzaku for tonight. Lelouch makes tea to calm his nerves, goes through the familiar motions as the minutes tick by. Maybe Suzaku won’t show up. Maybe he’ll— The doorbell rings. Lelouch hesitates at the door, hand hovering over the knob. He tells himself that this is for Nunnally, that it’s necessary, that he has no choice, but the excuses feel flimsy. Lelouch is Zero, the miracle maker; he could think himself out of this if he really needed to. He could find another way. He doesn’t. Lelouch opens the door, a genial smile plastered on his face. He’s not exactly sure what he expects but it’s certainly not Suzaku’s hands on his shoulders, warm through the fabric of his shirt. It’s not Suzaku shoving him further inside the room, pressing him against the nearest solid surface (a small table decorated by a vase that wobbles and nearly crashes to the floor), kissing him until his lips bruise. It’s definitely not Suzaku’s tongue, hot and demanding inside his mouth, hands sliding over the narrow contour of his waist. When he finally pulls back Lelouch is dazed, his lips ache, and he’s clutching Suzaku’s shoulders (when did that happen?). “T-the door,” he says shakily, trying to gather his wits. When he turns to look it’s already shut. Suzaku must have kicked it closed at some point. Suzaku’s hands are still sliding up and down his sides in a familiar way, and for a moment Lelouch wonders if maybe Charles messed with his memories too. But no, that serves no purpose, and his father is nothing if not purposeful. Suzaku leans his head down for another kiss and before Lelouch can think it through, he braces his hands on Suzaku’s chest to hold him off. “Wait,” he says, voice dropping into its lower register the way it always does when he issues a command. At the tone, a tone so different from the softer voice he uses at school, Suzaku pauses and pulls away. He studies Lelouch’s face with something distinctly calculating in his eyes, and suddenly Lelouch understands. The bastard had been trying to catch him off guard. And it nearly worked. Lelouch forces a smile, smooths his hands down Suzaku’s chest as if nearly pushing him away had been a deliberate gesture. “Not here. Rolo could…” “Lelouch...” Suzaku says, stopping his hands just before they reach his belt. For a moment they just stare at each other, and maybe Suzaku doesknow about his memories but he has no proof, and Lelouch isn’t going to give him any. He knocks their hips together suggestively, looks at Suzaku from under his eyelashes the way he used to. “Bedroom. Lead the way.” Suzaku purses his lips, clearly fighting with himself, before a fierce sort of determination lights his eyes. “Fine.” Lelouch thinks Suzaku might sweep him up in his arms or guide him gently by the hand, like he used to. He doesn’t. He hauls Lelouch to the bedroom like a prisoner, fingers still locked around his wrists. He tosses him on the bed, locks the door behind them, and strips off his shirt. Lelouch fumbles to do the same, but Suzaku is already there on the bed, kneeling over him, practically tearing it off. Lelouch’s heart races because he’s never seen this side of Suzaku. Sure, he knows Suzaku can be aggressive in a fight, knows he had a temper when he was younger too, but he’s never carried that behavior beyond his work in the military—at least not until now. “What’s gotten into you?” Lelouch gasps as Suzaku presses him into the mattress with his body weight and starts kissing at the long, pale column of his throat. He already knows the answer. Suzaku might be a better liar now but his acting is still subpar. He can’t hide the anger and hostility he feels towards Lelouch right now. Lelouch hates that the carelessness and the rough, demanding hands only makes him harder.       “Nothing. Just want you like this.” He flips Lelouch over onto his stomach as he says it so he doesn’t have to see his face, those eyes that are guilty of so much but guileless now that Lelouch has forgotten. It’s wrong to want to take out his frustration and fury on this Lelouch who knows nothing of his sins, but Suzaku can’t find it in himself to be gentle right now. It’s fucked up, he’s fucked up, and it’s all Lelouch’s fault. Lelouch starts to say something but Suzaku yanks his pants down and spreads his legs, licking hot over his balls and up along valley of his ass until he reaches his spine. The words fall away to shocked moans so Suzaku does it again, and again. He just wants Lelouch to shut up for once, to stop lying. (He’s lying even when he doesn’t realize it, a victim of false memories, and it infuriates Suzaku.) Lelouch pushes up onto his knees, arching his spine as Suzaku runs his tongue over that puckered little hole, and the wantonness of the gesture sends a bolt of heat straight to his cock. He hates himself for the way his body remembers, anticipates, and craves Lelouch. God, he wants to be inside him so bad. He hasn’t fucked anything but his own hand in over a year. Something slides across the sheets, pushed by Lelouch’s hand. A bottle of lube and a condom. Suzaku narrows his eyes and wonders if Lelouch has been with anyone else, but then that would’ve been mentioned in the surveillance reports. Was he waiting for Suzaku all this time…? He shakes the thought away. Suzaku pauses to slick up his fingers, easing one inside Lelouch and, God, he is tight. It’s gratifying that Lelouch’s cock hangs hard and heavy between his legs, leaking a little at the tip, when all Suzaku’s done is rim him. Not that he’s much better, erection straining against his black uniform pants. He fucks Lelouch with one finger, then two, listening to Lelouch’s soft ‘oh, oh, ohs’ as he rocks his hips back onto Suzaku’s hand. He’s always been like this. Utterly demanding and haughty up until the point that Suzaku plays with his ass, then he becomes a pliant, needy hedonist. Suzaku can’t say the change is unpleasant. Lelouch’s body is the most honest thing about him. “Suzaku…” Lelouch groans, low and throaty. He eases another finger inside for good measure since it’s been so long, stretches Lelouch for as long as he can stand it. “Just fuck me already,” Lelouch says, and Suzaku takes vicious pleasure in the way he’s practically begging for it. He pulls his fingers out, undoes his pants and shoves them to his knees. Smearing lube across his palm, he jacks his cock to get it nice and slick and thinks about how he shouldn’t do this while he rolls the condom down. Even though he technically has Lelouch’s permission, it’s not like he can make a fully informed decision. Once upon a time Lelouch had wanted him, but now… If Lelouch remembers how he sold him out to his father, Suzaku doubts he’d be forgiven (not that he wants or needs Lelouch’s forgiveness). This has all just gotten out of hand. He’d been sure Lelouch was faking it, that he’d gotten his memories back. That is why Suzaku kissed him in the first place. Lelouch wouldn’t be able to stomach his affections after everything that’d happened between them. But now… Could Lelouch be faking this too? No, the evidence is hard and leaking between his thighs. He still wants Suzaku, badly. He doesn’t remember. But Suzaku remembers, and what does that say about him? He grips the base of his cock, presses the head to Lelouch’s hole before slowly sinking in. For all that it’s wrong it’s also bliss. Hot, tight bliss that makes Suzaku grip Lelouch’s narrow hips to steady himself. His back bows at the sensation because Lelouch fits him like a glove. He has a delirious moment where he wants to press a kiss between Lelouch’s shoulder blades, but then he comes back to himself and remembers why he’s here in Lelouch’s bed. It’s only for the mission. It’s only to find out the truth. The thought eases some of the guilt as he begins to thrust.       Suzaku has never been this rough with him, this unrelenting, this callous, and Lelouch can’t stop moaning. He knows there must be all kinds of psychological reasons behind the fact that he’s enjoying this so much—the anger and the lies and the animosity morphing into sickening desire—, but right now he doesn’t care to examine them. It’s just so good, Suzaku’s cock hard and thick and hot inside him like it was made for him. He can’t seem to get enough of it. He hadn’t realized how much he missed this, even if this is now a warped parody of what it used to be. “You’re always so greedy,” Suzaku grunts, fucking into him even harder, their skin slapping together in an obscene rhythm. He sounds angry, hurt, and more turned on than Lelouch has ever heard him. Apparently he isn’t the only one getting off on this fucked up charade. “Yes, yes, Suzaku,” Lelouch says, squirming his hips only for Suzaku to grip them hard enough to bruise, holding him still. It’s not like he can keep up with the punishing pace Suzaku’s set anyway, so he just goes limp and takes it. Lelouch feels the first falter in Suzaku’s rhythm and snakes a hand down between his legs, wrapping fingers around himself. He presses his face into the sheets to muffle the embarrassing noises he makes as he jerks himself off in time with Suzaku’s thrusts. Suzaku pays no attention to him, chasing his own pleasure as he groans and jerks his hips fast and uneven. Lelouch comes with a quiet cry, spilling all over his hand and onto the sheets, thighs quivering. Suzaku thrusts in deep one last time, grinds there as his muscles tense with orgasm. For a minute only the sound of their labored breathing fills the room, Lelouch basking in the afterglow, content and sweaty and a little sleepy. Suzaku moves first, pulling out and carefully removing the condom, tossing it into the trashcan under the nightstand. Lelouch expects Suzaku to flop down next to him and roll them both away from the wet spot before settling in to sleep, but he makes no move to lay down. He sits on the edge of the bed, as far from Lelouch as he can get, and puts his head in his hands. The set of his shoulders is tense with what Lelouch can only assume is guilt. “Suza—” “I have to go.” He gets up and crosses the room, picking up his discarded clothes as he goes. Lelouch sits up and watches him but says nothing. “Lelouch, I—” Suzaku is paused in front of the door, hand curled around the knob, and he glances back at Lelouch for a second before looking away. “Sorry.” Lelouch watches him leave. Everything has gone according to plan. The conditions have been cleared. Suzaku believes he has yet to regain his memories. So why doesn’t this feel like success? End Notes So I managed to finish this in the nick of time! I usually avoid writing Code Geass because it's so near and dear to my heart that I'm worried I'll botch the characters, but I just had to participate in Suzalulu week. Let me know what you think! c: Comments and kudos are welcome~! 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