Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/914588.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Starfighter_(Comic)
  Relationship:
      Cain/Deimos_(Starfighter)
  Character:
      Cain_(Starfighter), Deimos_(Starfighter)
  Additional Tags:
      Incest, Cousins
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-08-06 Words: 4104
****** Follow ******
by orphan_account
Summary
     Aleks reflects on his time with his cousin before they joined the
     Alliance.
Notes
     Cain/Deimos cousinssssss <3 <3 <3
     Also, I decided to try out the name 'Nikolai' for Cain in this and
     Deimos = Aleks
Aleks thought that maybe there'd always been a part of him—even before the
first time they'd met as kids—that had been drawn to Nik. Aleks had heard about
his cousin for years before they'd ever met; his mother finally introducing
them one cold afternoon just after Aleks' eighth birthday and calling Niki
forward.
That was the first meeting, and Aleks remembered everything he'd heard about
Niki from his mother in the days they spent together afterward. He's
restless came to mind when he disappeared for an hour before Aleks finally
found him up a tree. He remembered his mother saying, He's clever when Niki
managed to restart the old car that they hadn't touched in years and take it
for a joy ride. And finally, He's troubled when a careless throw with a hard
ball caught Aleks across the face and Niki sat back and laughed instead of
apologizing.
"You just need to get to know him," his mother said, wrapping a handful of ice
in a towel and pressing it to Aleks' swollen lip.
Aleks just sat there and tried not to wince, running his tongue across the cut
on the inside of his lip, thinking of Niki up in his room at that moment doing
who knew what with Aleks occupied.
"It'll get better," she said then, brushing Aleks' hair back from his face and
setting down the towel. "You'll get used to him…he's family."
And Aleks pressed his lips together and felt the pain to keep from giving
himself away; too scared that she might somehow see that he'd already gotten
used to Niki and more; found him fascinating and compelling and terrifying.
When Niki went home a few days later, picked up by his parents once they'd come
back from travelling, Aleks watched them go and wondered when they'd see each
other again.
It was years later when they did; Niki returned with his parents for a family
get together. He was fourteen now, Aleks just barely older, and Niki suddenly
had blue streaks in his hair and penchant for glaring and
snapping, "Nik," whenever anyone called him by his childhood nickname.
He also had a penchant for smoking, which Aleks only learned about the first
night he stayed, when Aleks woke in the middle of the night to peer up over the
side of the bed from his mat on the floor to watch Nik lean out the window with
a cigarette dangling from his hand. Aleks just watched him for a long moment,
admiring the way the light hit his bare torso when he leaned forward to tap ash
over the windowsill.
Then suddenly Nik turned to look at him, caught him staring, and Aleks glanced
away before looking at him again. "You can't…"
Nik raised his eyebrows, brought the cigarette slowly to his lips and inhaled
again, blowing the smoke toward Aleks and smirking.
"My mom—" Aleks started again, but he didn't get any farther with Nik suddenly
speaking over him.
"Good ol' Auntie," he muttered. "She won't notice the smell. How often does she
even come in here?"
Aleks frowned, shrugged, uncomfortable with Nik just sitting there watching him
so closely, face lit only from the light from outside and the dully glowing end
of the cigarette.
"You ever tried one?" he asked then.
Aleks shook his head, didn't move even when that sounded like an invitation;
too scared that he'd be wrong and Nik would laugh at him. Then Nik was smirking
again, waved lazily with one hand for Aleks to come nearer, and Aleks stood up
from his spot on the floor and rounded the bed, wrapping an arm around his bare
torso and trying to pretend he was wearing more than just his flimsy boxers.
He crawled onto the end of the bed where it met the wall, facing Nik and
swallowing fast. He startled when Nik suddenly scooted forward to meet him,
rising onto his knees and wrapping long fingers around Aleks' wrist to pull him
closer.
"Just breathe," he said, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and holding it
out to Aleks.
Aleks lifted a hand and took it, looked at the curl of Nik's lower lip as he
brought the cigarette up to his mouth and breathed in. He coughed a moment
later, however, eyes watering as acrid smoke filled his mouth. He would have
dropped the cigarette if Nik's hand hadn't caught his wrist at the last moment
and held it in place.
"Pansy," Nik muttered, and he really was laughing at Aleks now, and Aleks was
certain he couldn't remember being more embarrassed in his life. His face was
hot, chest tight. He watched Nik take a drag on the cigarette and hold it,
chest puffing out, while Aleks thought about slinking back to his spot on the
floor and curling up to sleep.
Then Nik was pulling him forward again—not by the wrist, but the back of the
neck, and Aleks gasped and shuddered and hated himself for everything he felt
in the moment that Nik opened his mouth over Aleks' and breathed hot smoke
straight past his lips. He froze, unable to do anything more than feel Nik's
hand hot and firm around the back of his neck, his lips pressed against Aleks',
and Aleks knew he should break away, should tell Nik off because it
wasn't right, it wasn't normal, but instead he just gasped in spite of himself,
breathing in the smoke that Nik fed him. Nik pulled away right after, brought
the dangling cigarette back up to his lips and smirked while he took a pull,
watching Aleks with dark eyes.
"Wh—what—"
"What?" Nik snapped, leaning back against the wall and flicking the cigarette
butt out the open window.
Aleks watched it fall with unease, thinking that if his mother found it right
beneath his window he'd never hear the end of it. When he looked back at Nik
again, it was to find him with a hand hovering low over his stomach, tips of
his fingers dipping beneath the waistband of his boxers.
Aleks looked away, face on fire, dropped his hands quickly in front of himself
to hide the growing bulge that had been there ever since Nik called him
forward. He started to move away, to get off the bed and back on the floor
because he couldn't stand to be around Nik and feel the way he did, but then
there was a hand on his arm holding him in place.
"You're blushing," Nik said, and Aleks wanted to glare but couldn't, didn't
know how it was possible for Nik to make him feel so young when Aleks was the
older one, when Nik had always been immature for his age at that. The feeling
was only emphasized when Nik's hand tightened, when he ducked his head down to
meet Aleks' gaze and said, "Want another smoke, kiddo?"
That had been the first time—the first time Aleks knew that there was something
different between them; something that shouldn't have been there. It only
became clearer the longer Nik stayed with them, clear in the way he'd brush his
hand against Aleks' leg beneath the kitchen table, or just push him up against
the back wall of Aleks' house and keep him there with a knee between Aleks'
knees while he smoked.
That had been it at first, and at night when Aleks curled up on the floor while
Nik took the bed, he'd touch himself and picture Nik's face, the length of his
neck, the way his stomach had curled and tightened when he'd smoked with Aleks
that one night. Nik was observant and always liked to give Aleks a hard time,
so it didn't take long until he'd pushed Aleks against the wall of the shed
behind his house and kissed him fast. Aleks knew it was a joke; just another
way to pick on Aleks and make him squirm, but the way he'd felt after—the way
he'd felt with Nik's lips against his and no pretense of smoke between
them—wasn't as funny.
Somewhere down the line, it stopped being a game. At some point when Nik kissed
him, he didn't pull away, and then there was Nik's tongue in his mouth and
Aleks was being kissed—really kissed—for the first time in his life and he
loved it. He relished in the feel of Nik pressed against him, in his smell and
hard body and the thin edge of familiarly and excitement he brought with him
everywhere. And at night when Aleks lay down on the floor, Nik pulled him into
the bed with him instead, said, "I heard what you were doing." That was all it
took for them to kiss again, for Nik to wrap a hand around Aleks' hard cock and
jerk him off. Aleks returned the favor as best he could, hardly able to believe
that this was happening at all, coming over Nik's hand embarrassingly quickly.
That had been the start, and even after Nik left to go home, Aleks couldn't
stop thinking about him, about them, and the things they'd done together. Years
later and Aleks was still thinking about it, thinking about Nik and the times
they'd shared together. Nik had always hinted he'd join the Alliance someday;
he was always more aggressive than he was studious, always looking for
something challenging and exciting to entertain him. Restless, Aleks' mother
had called him, and Nik had never grown out of that. Aleks never meant to
follow him—no matter what Nik thought or might have said about it later. The
Alliance meant a chance for a future, something better than Aleks could have
hoped to achieve by staying in the colonies. His delusions of grandeur ended
there, though; the military was still the military, but Aleks was smart,
resilient, and he thought maybe—maybe—that'd be enough. It had to be enough.
Nik was eighteen when he came to stay again; dropped by Aleks' house for a few
nights on his way north to catch the shuttle to training camp. Aleks was still
getting his things together, still waiting for his time to leave when Nik got
there. They wouldn't be in training together, and Aleks was both relieved and
disappointed at the thought.
Aleks didn't know Nik had arrived before he entered his room without bothering
to knock. Aleks only knew he was there when he breathed, "Hey, kiddo," right
into Aleks' ear.
Aleks startled, fumbled with the shirt in his hands before dropping it to the
floor. He glanced at Nik and leaned away, uncomfortable with that smirk and
those eyes so close to him—always uncomfortable with Nik.
"Going somewhere?" he asked then, nudging the half-full bag on Aleks' bed to
sprawl out beside it. It had been years since they'd seen each other—years
since they'd talked, but Nik always liked to pretend that he owned any ground
he walked on; that he could lay back on Aleks' bed and look at him, smile at
him—even after everything—and Aleks would let him do it without question. He
was right.
"Training," Aleks said, picking his shirt up from the floor and folding it
neatly into the bag.
Nik curled up at that, elbows resting on his ripped jeans as he looked at Aleks
for a long moment. "No shit?"
Aleks didn't say anything, tried to keep packing and avoid Nik's gaze.
"Pansy like you?"
Aleks did look up at that, wasn't sure what expression was on his face when Nik
just kept looking at him, expression cold. Then he frowned down at his jeans,
dug around in his pocket until he pulled out a lighter and a cigarette. Aleks
almost told him to put it out, but he didn't, and Nik wouldn't have listened
anyway.
"I make your dick that hard that you've got to follow me everywhere?" he asked
then.
Aleks flushed, tried to give Nik an unimpressed look to cover up his obvious
embarrassment, but either he wasn't very successful, or Nik could read him too
well, since he just grinned around his cigarette.
"It's not that," Aleks said, wished he was capable of speaking louder and
getting through to Nik—Nik who was loud and restless and who had never been
good at coping with Aleks' brand of silence.
"Yeah, what is it then?" Nik tapped ash off the end of his cigarette and onto
Aleks' bed sheets. Aleks watched him futilely try to brush them away for a
short moment; smearing ash across the coverlet.
"I didn't enlist because you did," Aleks said. "There's nothing for me here."
Nik snorted, rolled his eyes, and there was something aggressive in the way he
took the cigarette out of his mouth and tapped the end again. "Nothing except
not being fucking alien fodder."
Aleks sighed and stopped packing, shifted his bag to the floor and took a seat
next to Nik on the bed. "I don't…plan on dying," he said.
"Nobody plans on it, fuckwit," Nik mumbled around the cigarette, eyes fixed
forward and looking at Aleks' bedroom door.
"You joined, too," Aleks reminded him.
"I can handle it."
"It's done," Aleks said, and Nik seemed surprised at his brusqueness, maybe
even impressed if the quick raising of his eyebrows was any indication. Then he
dropped the cigarette to the floor and grinded it out, and the expression was
gone.
"Fine," he said, lounging back on his hands and tilting his head to one side.
The blue streaks in his hair were still there—redyed, no doubt, and he looked
just as unapproachable and arrogant as he had when he was fourteen. "So," he
began, voice low, and Aleks had a feeling he knew what was coming just from
that—still wasn't prepared when Nik continued, "how should we spend our last
days as free men?"
Aleks froze, eyes fixed on the floor, hyper-aware of Nik's legs spreading just
a bit, so his knee came to rest against Aleks'. He raised his gaze, met Nik's
calm expression and slight smirk, and it surprised Aleks how unsurprised he was
when Nik leaned forward. It surprised Aleks how familiar it felt to have Nik's
tongue in his mouth after so long. It surprised Aleks how much he still wanted
it even when he knew he shouldn't.
It had always been like that between them, though; Aleks wanting and Nik
knowing it and doing his best to tease him or indulge him—or both. He was doing
it now, even; pushing Aleks back to the bed and pressing on top of him, licking
his lips and rolling their hips together slow. Aleks fisted a hand in Nik's
hair, thinking of all the reasons why they shouldn't do this, unable to really
care with Nik's teeth scraping hard across Aleks' lower lip before leaning
away.
He sat back on Aleks' thighs and looked at him, pushed a hand up Aleks' stomach
to bunch his shirt up around his chest. Aleks swallowed, face on fire and pants
tight with Nik just sitting there looking at him, raking dull nails down Aleks'
stomach to pause at his waistband. Nik smirked as he popped open the button of
Aleks' jeans with his thumb, and Aleks closed his eyes; didn't want to look at
Nik and remember him as his cousin—the kid he'd grown up with—while they did
this.
Nik wasn't having it, though, rough palms of both hands suddenly sliding up
Aleks' bare chest to grip his shoulders and shake him. "Hey, you want to do
this or not?"
Aleks kept his eyes closed, squeezed shut, even after Nik shook him again. He
nodded, cringing against the pillow and gritting his teeth because there was no
way to deny how much he wanted it—had always wanted it, how many times he'd
thought about this.
"Then fucking look at me."
Aleks didn't immediately comply, too busy trying to catch his breath with Nik's
knuckles rubbing softly over his nipples. Nik laughed quietly when Aleks
shuddered, sat back and removed his hands from Aleks completely. Aleks took a
breath, opened his eyes and refocused on Nik sitting above him.
Nik quirked an eyebrow, didn't look particularly pleased with Aleks at all, but
then his hands were back to working with Aleks' pants, and Aleks figured Nik
must have been happy with him when suddenly Nik's hand was gripping him through
his boxers and pulling up. He arched into the touch, couldn't help it, and then
Nik did crack a smile, adjusting his hand to move faster; jerking Aleks off
through the thin fabric.
Aleks moaned, kept it quiet so his mother wouldn't hear him, watched Nik's hand
moving on him, and it was nice, but it wasn't anything they hadn't done before,
and Nik was here suddenly; older and so handsome and Aleks had always wanted
him, but abruptly the need was overwhelming. So he put a hand on Nik's wrist to
stop him, slid up the bed and shakily began to take his clothes off.
Nik watched, shucked off his jacket and started to follow suit, kept his eyes
on Aleks until they were both naked and hard and just looking at each other
from either end of the bed.
"So?" Nik asked, and Aleks jerked his gaze from Nik's hard cock to meet his
eyes. "You want me to fuck you or what?"
Aleks hadn't been expecting romance—had known Nik too well and too long to ever
expect anything like it, so he rolled onto his stomach at the question because
he knew that would be the only invitation he was likely to get. He got his
knees under him and lifted his hips, kept his face pressed to the pale sheets
of his bed to hide his blush at being so exposed; at having Nik look at him in
this position.
Nik's fingers trailed across the back of one of Aleks' thighs, making him
twitch as his hair stood on end, making him wait in anticipation when suddenly
Nik's touch was gone. The bed shifted, and Aleks wanted to look to see what Nik
was doing but couldn't bring himself to raise his head. In the end, it didn't
matter, since Nik's fingers were suddenly cold and slick and pressing against
him.
Aleks couldn't remember ever wanting anything else more than the pressure of
Nik's fingers, not even inside him but barely pushing, enough to make Aleks
think of what was to come, to feel every nerve twitch in anticipation.
"You sure?" Nik asked then, and the pressure receded; Nik's finger instead
circling slick and light around his hole.
Aleks turned his face enough to make his voice clear when he said, "Yes.
P—please, Nik."
"You ever been fucked before?" he asked then, fingers still so light and
teasing that Aleks could hardly focus on anything else but how much he wanted
Nik to push, press, slide between and be inside him.
"No," Aleks muttered.
Nik laughed quietly, and suddenly there was his cock pressed up against the
back of Aleks' thigh. Aleks' breath caught in his throat, glanced back over his
shoulder at the feeling of the hot head of Nik's cock dragging across his leg,
brushing his ass.
"Nik—" but Aleks didn't know what he was going to say after that, since Nik's
fingers were back, two suddenly pressing inside Aleks in one push, and
it ached more than he had expected, but there was also something nice about the
pressure, the feeling of himself stretching around Nik's fingers.
He moaned, nudged back with his hips a little until Nik pulled out, pushed back
in, fucking Aleks with his fingers, curling them upward until Aleks couldn't
feel anything but the pleasure. A third finger was almost nothing with how gone
he was, with how easily Nik was pulling him apart at the seams, just like when
they were kids and he used to find all of Aleks' weak points and exploit them.
Aleks barely noticed when Nik leaned over him, too focused on the sensation of
Nik's fingers fucking into him fast and hard. Then Nik was whispering hot in
his ear, "Nasty little fuck—you love that," and Aleks only grew harder hearing
Nik's voice, feeling Nik's hard cock pressing against the back of his thigh and
knowing it wasn't just him who loved it.
Then Nik shifted away again, and his fingers were slipping out of Aleks in the
next moment, leaving him empty and wanting. He barely had time to feel the loss
when there was something bigger pushing against him in the next moment, and any
unease Aleks might have felt with Nik's cock so close was suddenly gone when he
was pushing inside. Aleks gasped at the pressure, the feeling of being filled.
It burned more than he had expected, but Nik didn't let up until he was all the
way in, and Aleks could forget about his discomfort to think of the other
things, to remember that it was Nik's cock inside him, that they were together
like this—closer than Aleks had ever been with anyone else.
Aleks didn't know how he was expected to last when Nik started to move. It was
too much, felt too new and good and exquisite with Nik's hands curling firm
around Aleks' hips and his cock spreading him open with each push forward.
He didn't last long at all, especially not when Nik leaned back and began to
pull Aleks back against him with each sharp thrust, especially not when Nik
slowed down again to wrap his hand around Aleks' cock and jerk him off, thumb
stroking over the head on every upstroke and his balls when he reached the
base.
Aleks came with a gasp across Nik's palm, shuddering when Nik kept fucking him
through it, his hand still moving hard and tight around his cock. Nik came a
moment later, both hands coming up to Aleks' hips again and smearing him with
come. Aleks felt every jerk and pulse inside him, listened as Nik said, "Ahhh,
fuck," and then slowly started to pull out.
Aleks didn't think he'd ever get used to the empty feeling that Nik left
behind—not even when Nik put a hand on Aleks' back and shoved him to the bed,
dropping down next to him until they were facing each other on the pillow.
Aleks blinked and looked away, thinking of his mother in the other room, his
Aunt and Uncle who had said goodbye to Nik earlier that week when he'd set out
for training. They would never know…they could never know.
A hand fell gently against his head and Aleks looked up again. Nik carded his
fingers through Aleks' hair and pushed it back from his face. Aleks didn't know
how to feel when Nik kissed him again, still couldn't get past the feeling that
he should push him away, that he should feel worse about everything than he
did. But Nik had always owned a part of Aleks that he had never understood, and
maybe never would, so he let Nik kiss him again; sloppy and wet with Nik's
tongue pushing hot into his mouth until Aleks was moaning.
"Niki…" he said when Nik pulled away, watching Nik's mouth curl up in a little
smile. He ran a hand through Aleks' hair again, just looking at him, and it was
better than Aleks had expected it could be—different than he expected Nik to
be.
Then came the call of "Boys, dinner!" from his mother in the kitchen. Aleks
blinked, Nik pulled away and rolled up off the bed, searching for his clothes.
Aleks followed his lead, trying to focus on putting his own clothes on instead
of watching Nik redress, instead of focusing on the sinking feeling in his
stomach.
He stood when Nik did, meeting his gaze in front of the closed bedroom door.
Aleks wasn't sure what he was expecting, but he was still taken aback when Nik
smirked and said, "Time to be one big happy family again." He was out the door
and down the hall a moment later, and Aleks hesitated just long enough to
glance back at his packed bag on the bedroom floor, to wonder when he'd next
see Nik after he had left their house. He turned away a moment later, pushing
down his fear and closing the door behind him as he followed after Nik.
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