Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/994686.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Free!
  Relationship:
      Nanase_Haruka/Tachibana_Makoto
  Character:
      Nanase_Haruka, Tachibana_Makoto, Matsuoka_Rin, Tachibana_Ran, Tachibana
      Ren
  Additional Tags:
      Future_Fic, Established_Relationship, maybe_it's_a_little_angsty,
      Flashbacks, Fluff_and_Angst, First_Time, Awkward_Sexual_Situations,
      Alternate_Universe_-_Canon_Divergence
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-10-07 Updated: 2014-01-24 Chapters: 6/? Words: 19788
****** Foam of the Sea ******
by myth720
Summary
     When mermaids die they become the foam of the sea and cease to exist.
     Just like that, Haruka's life as a professional swimmer had come to
     an unexpected end due to a single incident. Readjusting to life in
     Iwatobi is not going to be easy, especially without Makoto by his
     side. (temporary summary as the story develops)
Notes
     *Japanese note: -senshuu is the honorific suffix given to athletes.
***** Chapter 1 *****
There was nothing outstanding or remarkable about the little seaside town of
Iwatobi. Like many small towns in the obscure parts of Japan outside of the
major cities, it used to be a tiny fishing village. It was so obscure it was
left near untouched by wars, and so normal, it was undisturbed by any major
natural disaster. With the years and economical changes, it grew and absorbed
neighboring villages, but most youth still dreamed of exchanging the slow
paced, quiet town life for the excitement the big city had to offer. However
boring and mundane it may have been, the town of Iwatobi had prided itself for
producing not one, but two internationally recognized Olympic swimmers, and one
gold medalist. 
There was a story the people of Iwatobi liked to tell, and it had made the
rounds to the press at the time, the story about the summer of 2013, when the
newly created swimming club of Iwatobi high-school made it to the regional
summer tournament, won first place and disqualified for switching a member with
a member from another school – a childhood friend. It was a sweet display of
friendship and loyalty to dreams, they liked to say. It wasn’t looked upon that
favorably at the time, but that switched member and the ace of the team being
who they were today, the negativity and backlash were gone and forgotten. The
two swimmers had become local celebrities overnight following their performance
in Rio 2016, but it wasn’t until Tokyo 2020 when they had reached national
awareness that the small town had begun idolizing them to the point it was near
impossible to find a street in Iwatobi that did not try to affiliate itself
with the two, and a line of “pilgrims” taking the recommended route to the
favorite hangout places of the two heroes and childhood friends.
And then one incident had changed it all.
===============================================================================
 
“Thanks for coming to see me, Rin.” Haruka tugged on the bill of his cap. “I
know you’re busy.”
Rin huffed and sat down in front of Haruka. They were at a small, but expensive
coffee shop downtown a busy Tokyo district.
“That’s an understatement,” the red-headed returned the gestured with his own
cap and took off his sunglasses, putting them on the table. “You must be too.”
“Yeah.”
 
At a nearby table, two young women were gushing over their cheesecake, when one
of them raised her eyes and spotted the two suspiciously dressed young men at
the other table.
“Ne, ne,” she told her friend. “Those guys with the hats over there, they gotta
be famous, right?”
Her friend turned around to have a look. “That guy sure looks familiar,” her
friend hummed. “I’m sure I’ve seen those strange teeth before.”
“They look like shark teeth…” the first girl commented and chuckled.
“Yeah,” the friend agreed, then her face changed. “AH! That’s gotta be that
guy! Quick, quick, take a picture!”
 
===============================================================================
 
Haruka and Rin walked outside the café, shoulders brushing against each other.
None of them spoke. There were a lot of people running around the busy street,
no one giving them a moment glance. Tokyo was immensely different than the
little town they had both hailed from.  It allowed them to live their lives in
anonymity.
“I missed you,” Haruka said quietly, but loud enough to be heard in the din of
the street. “You need to come over more often.”
“Are you being emotional now, Haru?” Rin grinned and slapped Haruka’s cap
playfully, crooking it.
Haruka frowned and fixed it. “You’re one to ta—“
Rin drew him into his arms, hugging him tightly. “I missed you too, Haru.”
Feeling a little awkward at the sudden intrusion into his personal space, it
took Haruka a moment to react and put his arms around Rin. “As I was saying,”
he said into Rin’s ear.
Rin let go of him slightly and looked down, his forehead nearly touching
Haruka’s. “I have to go. Got a flight to catch.”
 
===============================================================================
 
Haruka unlocked the door to his apartment and stepped inside, taking his shoes
off at the entrance. “I’m back,” he said out of habit to an empty apartment.
His stomach was still full of coffee and cake, but he had fresh mackerel he
bought that morning in the fridge, and it would be a terrible waste if he
didn’t grill it right away. For mackerel, he didn’t need to be hungry.
The phone started ringing while he was busy grilling the fish, so he ignored
it. As usual, if it were important, they would try to reach him again. Haruka
smiled to himself as he watched the chunks of meat sizzle on the griller. He
was in a good mood. It was nice to see Rin after so long.
After turning the gas off and taking another sniff of the grilled fish, he
decided he was hungry after all. The phone was still ringing, and he huffed in
annoyance. He didn’t recognize the caller ID and pulled out the plug. Anyone
who really needed him, knew how to reach him on his mobile phone. And because
he hated talking on the phone, it was permanently set to manners mode. That
wasn’t entirely true – it was a custom mode he named Makoto mode - his phone
only rung when Makoto was calling, and he liked the arrangement, much to the
chagrin of his coaches and other people who regularly tried to reach him, and
whom he filtered based on his mood.
Once he had finished eating and put the dishes in the washer. He walked to the
living room and plopped down on the couch, raising his legs over the coffee
table. The sun was starting to sink, and he threw a glance outside the big
window, overlooking the skyscrapers of Tokyo and the hazy horizon where,
according to his real estate agent, on a clear day, it was possible to see Mt.
Fuji. He had yet to see that glorious sight and suspected it was either a myth
or a fancy exaggeration meant to raise the worth of the apartment and bring in
the deep pocketed customers. Haruka didn’t really care. It wasn’t the reason he
leased the place. If it were up to him, he’d still live in his old and
traditional Japanese house in Iwatobi. Sometimes he still wondered if he could
go back and live there, if it weren’t for the fact his parents had moved back
in, following his father’s retirement. Either way, Mt. Fuji or not, one of the
selling points of the mansion was the communal pool on the roof.
Haruka thought about going to the pool for a little swim and sunset viewing,
when a muffled, familiar tune reached his ears. His mobile, which was left in
his jacket, on the hanger at the entrance, was ringing. Which meant Makoto was
calling. Haruka put his legs down and stood up, then walked a bit faster than
usual to answer the phone in time.
He didn’t. By the time he fished the dated mobile phone out of the pocket, it
had stopped ringing.
He was about to return the call, when he noticed he had a few calls from an
unidentified number. As he was wondering who might be searching for him knowing
he would not answer anonymous calls, his phone buzzed with another incoming
call, which he clicked to accept by mistake.
Since he had already accepted the call, he brought the phone to his ear.
“Nanase,”he said briskly, and waited for the caller to identify himself.
“I know your true identity,” a masked voice said quietly on the other side of
the line.
“…huh?” Haruka asked in confusion and clicked his tongue. From all the calls he
could’ve wasted a moment of his precious free time on, it had to be a prank
call?
“I know you’re gay,” the gritty voice continued. “And I know who your boyfriend
is.”
Haruka puckered his lips in annoyance. “Who is it?” he asked. “Is it Nagisa?
It’s not April’s fools yet, I’m going to kill you,” he grumbled.  
“I have evidence,” the person continued, ignoring Haruka’s half-hearted threat.
“And unless you pay me 2 billion yen in 48 hours, I will send the evidence to
the press.”
“…what?”
“This is not a joke, nor a prank call. I will contact you again in 3 hours to
hear your decision.”
“Now wait a mo—“ Haruka’s protest were cut off when the call was.
Haruka stared at the phone for a bit. It had got to be a joke. There were only
a few people who had known about his relationship, and they would never make a
joke like that. He also trusted them never to spill his secret to anyone. There
has got to be an explanation, but for the moment, Haruka needed to get rid of
that extremely uneasy feeling in his stomach.
He clicked on his phone and waited.
“Makoto!” he said, almost too happy to hear the cheerful voice on the other
side of the line instead of the creepy computerized voice.
“…I’m fine.    …really.” A heartbeat. “No, something happened. …It’s a bit
early, but can you come home now?”
 
===============================================================================
 
He was on pins and needles, waiting for Makoto to return, and nothing seemed to
calm him down, not even a soak in the bath. He thought about going to the pool,
when he heard the door unlocked and Makoto’s voice announced he was home.
“Makoto!” Haruka hurried to reach him. “Are you all right?” He grabbed Makoto’s
arms with both hands. “You didn’t receive any weird phone call?”
“Huh?” Makoto furrowed his brow, looking at Haruka with concern. “Only from
Haru.”
Haruka sighed and withdrew his hands. He folded them over his chest and rubbed
his arms. “Sorry for making you come home early,” he said quietly.
“It’s okay, I’ve finished most of my work,” Makoto said and took off his suit’s
jacket, before starting to undo his tie. “What is it, Haru? You look pale. Not
feeling well?” he asked.
Haruka shuffled his feet and looked away. “I think… I think I’m being
blackmailed.”
Makoto stared at him for a moment, confused. “Eh?”
“I received a threatening call,” Haruka explained. “And they want me to pay
them 2 billion yen in two days.”
“Eh?!?” Makoto widened his eyes, then more calmly, asked, “Wait, what do they
have on you, exactly?”  
“If it was just me, I wouldn’t care!” Haruka raised his voice. “But he knows,
about you,” he stressed. “I don’t care about coming out, but I don’t want you
to get in the crossfire.”
Makoto sighed. “Any chance it’s someone we know pulling your leg?”
Haruka shook his head. “Who would make such a bad joke?”
Makoto rubbed his chin in thought. “That’s true.”
“He said he will call again—“ Haruka checked his watch. “In two and a half
hours now.”
“We should contact the police,” Makoto said. “Maybe they could trace this guy.”
Haruka shook his head. “He was using a voice mixer, I’m sure he’s taken
precautions,” he sighed. “Maybe I should just give him the money.”
“What? You can’t do that.” Makoto stopped undressing. “He will continue to
blackmail you for more.” He clutched his hand into a fist. “It makes me so
angry people like that exist!”
With a sigh, Haruka walked back to the living room, followed by Makoto. His
partner had the right of it. He couldn’t give in to such threats, or it would
keep coming back to haunt him. There was only one solution.
“I’ll come out publicly and foil his plans. His ‘evidence’ would be worth shit
without the scoop,” Haruka said. “Don’t worry, I won’t out you.”
Makoto exhaled and grabbed Haruka’s arms. “No, wait, Haru. Please think it
through; your career could be on the line.”
“The country is way more accepting now than ten years ago,” Haruka insisted.
“There are even attempts to legalize same sex marriage, right?”
“Yes, but there are also a lot of old fashioned people who will not view this
kindly, especially in the sports world—“ He paused to breathe for a moment.
“With only a year until the next Olympic games it’s too risky, Haru. You could
be ostracized. They would choose to elect younger swimmers over you.”
Haruka glared at him. “Are you saying I’m old?”
“That’s not my point…”
“I understand your point,” Haruka sighed. “But there’s got to be a way. I can’t
let this guy win.”
“First let’s see if it’s not really someone we know,” Makoto said. “It could be
Nagisa.”
Haruka threw a ‘really?’ glance at him and Makoto sighed. “Okay, probably not.”
The time passed slowly as Haruka waited for the phone call. He placed his
mobile phone on the table and stared at it in anxiety. Makoto had already taken
a shower, a short one. He didn’t want to leave Haruka’s side for too long and
Haruka was so dispirited he didn’t even want to join him in the shower.
“Haru.” Haruka raised his head when Makoto called him and accepted the hot mug
of green tea.
“Thanks.”
Makoto sat down next to him on the couch and reached out to rub his shoulder
gently. Haruka leaned into the touch, catching Makoto’s hand between his
shoulder and ear.
“Come here,” the taller man said and pulled Haruka closer, fluttering his lips
over Haruka’s forehead and nose, before planting a soft kiss on his mouth.
“Makoto…” Haruka said quietly and his voice quivered. For the first time since
the ordeal started, he felt like crying. The tears stung his eyes.
“Whatever happens, I’ll be by your side, Haruka,” Makoto whispered softly and
kissed Haruka’s eyes, as though trying to make the tears disappear.
Their moment was cut short by the loud vibration of the mobile phone on the
table. Haruka threw a glance at the screen. “That’s him.”
Makoto lowered his hand to Haruka’s back, rubbing him gently and encouraging
him to pick up.
“Yes,” Haruka answered the phone, regaining his composure.
As he feared, the gritting computerized voice replied. “Have you decided?”
Haruka bit his lips. “You don’t leave me much choice, do you?”
“No.”
“Is it going to be just the 2 billion or are you going to bug me again later
for more?” Haruka asked coldly.
“I’d settle for the 2 billion for now,” the voice answered.
“Fine. How do I get the money to you?”
Makoto tensed and mouthed, ‘Haru!’ - Haruka just shrugged him off with a hand
gesture.
The perpetrator gave him the details, to which Haruka agreed in a low, resigned
voice and ended the call.
“What are you thinking?!” Makoto finally raised his voice. “You can’t do that!”
“Don’t worry about it,” Haruka said quietly and clicked on his phone, putting
it back on his ear.
“Hey, Sato-san, it’s Nanase. I need a favor,” he told the person who had picked
up.
 
===============================================================================
 
Sato Juunichi, 35, was Haruka’s sports agent ever since he’d started pursuing a
career in competitive swimming, upon graduating from high-school. Sato was a
young agent back then, and Haruka was his first promising catch. They have
become some sort of friends beyond their professional relationship.
It took Sato less than a day to set up the news conference Haruka had
requested, even though he had tried to dissuade him, even attempting to enlist
Makoto.
Haruka held his breath when he entered the room and was blinded by the flashes
of the cameras. He started to wonder if he were really doing the right thing,
but a look behind his shoulder – at Makoto, who had taken a sick leave to
accompany him, but stayed out of sight at the sidelines – had given him all the
reasons and strength he needed to go through with his plan.
When the room fell quiet and all eyes, cameras and microphones waited to hear
what he had to say, there was no turning back. He cleared his throat.
“First I, I would like to thank Sato-san, and… and my coach, Nakamura-san, for
putting this together so fast at my request…” he looked down. His hands, rested
in his lap, were shaking. “Even though they advised me not to do it…” He took a
breath. “But I, it’s something I needed to do.”
He fell silent and looked at his trembling hands. What was it? Even though he
had practiced what he was going to say since yesterday. He wasn’t supposed to
care about this. And then, out of the blue, as though he was hit by a lightning
bolt, the path had suddenly been shown to him, and he gasped. His hands stopped
shaking and he leaned in, closer to the number of microphones that were set
before him on the table.
“I’ve been blackmailed,” he said. “And the police is on the case, but I thought
I would say this, just so it won’t be repeated.” He straightened up. “I’m gay—“
The room was still quiet, in perfect Japanese order, no one was going to let
out a word before he would finish his statement - the only sound was the
cameras flashing.
“—and I’m in a relationship with a man. He’s a private person and I rather not
expose his name…” Practiced words, practiced words. His chest felt lighter now.
“I hope you would respect my privacy, and focus instead on my professional
accomplishments thus far,” he said and without looking at anywhere in
particular, he added, “Also, I have decided to retire from competitive
swimming.”
“Wait, Nanase-kun…” his coach whispered at his side. “What are you doing, this
is not what we talked about!”
“That is all,” Haruka told the microphones, and finished his statement.
“I’m sorry, Nanase-senshuu won’t be answering any questions right now,” the
host announced when the room went louder again with people talking all at once.
Haruka got up, bowed deeply to the audience and excused himself, leaving the
room, and his team of PR to deal with the pressing questions in his stead.
“What have you done, Haruka?” Makoto asked him when he passed by him in the
hallway. His voice was quiet, disappointed.
Haruka didn’t look at him. “It just felt right.”
He left Makoto behind and walked to the dressing room to have the make-up
removed. This life in the spotlight, it was too tiresome for him. Thinking
back, he should’ve never chosen this path. He should’ve chosen to stay in
Iwatobi. It was Rin’s fault, egging him on to strive for more and see how far
he could go. It was Nagisa and Rei’s fault, for looking up to him with
admiration in their eyes. And it was also Makoto’s fault, for loving him best
when he was swimming competitively.
===============================================================================
 
The car ride back home was silent, except for his mobile phone which didn’t
stop buzzing with incoming calls inside his pocket. He ignored it and only
looked at it when they had arrived at their apartment.
He had no less than 316 missed calls and incoming mails.
“What the…” He had never seen such number before; he didn’t even think it was
possible. So the news had already hit the outside world. He wrinkled his
eyebrows and checked the call log to see who had been trying to reach him.
On top of the list were his agent, his coaches, his mother, Makoto’s mother,
Makoto’s sister, a few sports reporters he was friendly with, as well as a few
other numbers he associated with the press.
He didn’t feel like talking to anyone right now. There was only one person he
could handle dealing with right now. He turned around.
Makoto was also looking at his own vibrating mobile, but it looked as though he
wasn’t going to answer. He put it back in his pocket and raised his eyes to
Haruka, giving him a warm smile.
“Go take a bath, Haru,” he said. “We can talk later.”
Haruka nodded and walked to the bathroom. After soaping and washing himself in
the shower, he soaked in the bath. Although it felt good and refreshing, he
only stayed in the hot water for ten minutes. He needed to get his peace of
mind from something else, or rather, someone.
 
“Ha… Haru…” Makoto mumbled in surprise when the shorter man hugged him from
behind. He turned around and ruffled Haruka’s damp hair, smiling.
“What is it?” Haruka could tell the difference between Makoto’s smiles, and
this smile was a smile that tried to hide something in order not to worry him.
“Ah, it’s nothing.”
“What is it?” Haruka repeated.
“Well, the internet is already buzzing with rumors about you,” Makoto said,
uncomfortably. “And, uh, your mystery boyfriend.”
“Shit…” Haruka let go of him. “Did your name get leaked?”
“No… it’s worse,” Makoto said and showed Haruka his tablet.
Haruka took it from his hands and looked, his eyes widening. The caption read
“Could this be the lover of Tokyo gold medalist Nanase?” Attached to some
candid photos of him with Rin, in the coffee shop where they sat together the
day before, as well as pictures of them hugging out in the street, even one
photo from an angle that made it seem like they were kissing.
He blushed. “This is quite misleading…”
“But this is going to cause trouble for Rin now,” Makoto said quietly.
“I’ll give another statement,” Haruka said quickly. “He doesn’t even live in
Japan.”
“Haru.”
“He could make his own statement too…”
“Haru.” Makoto put his finger under Haruka’s chin, lifting it gently to meet
his eyes. “Stop please? You’re overworked. Things are going to be a little busy
in the coming days, but I’m sure it will eventually die down and you’ll be able
to live peacefully again.”
“I have no idea what to do…” Haruka admitted, feeling a sharp pain in his
chest. In a moment of weird, yet lucid epiphany, he had cast away his career
and his future, only a year before the games he’s been training so hard for in
the past three years. The original plan was to retire after the games next
year.
“Makoto,” he said quietly and took Makoto’s hands into his. “Listen, I…”
His partner smiled again, more genuinely this time. “Yeah, I think you should
go back to Iwatobi, Haru.”
“You’re not going to go back with me.” Haruka’s words were both a question and
a statement, he already knew the answer.
“I can’t quit work before the year ends,” Makoto said quietly. “You can stay
with your parents until April.”
Haruka nodded. It would’ve been easier if Makoto could drop everything and go
back with him - go back to their quiet, boring, comfortable life in the small
boring seaside town of Iwatobi.
He had always hated winter. He couldn’t wait for spring.
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 tbc? saa...
 
 
 
 
 
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Summary
     Following Haruka's sudden retirement, memories from the previous time
     he was forced to come out resurface.
Chapter Notes
     I give up on trying to quit these two.
     This chapter is mostly flashback. I hope it won't be too confusing,
     I'd like to weave in more flashbacks in future chapters.
     Feedback appreciated :)
If life had taught him anything, it was how unexpected it could be, and how
even when everything seemed so desperate and he thought he had hit rock bottom
only to fall even lower, somehow there was always going to be a hand he could
rely on to pull him back onto his feet.
“Makoto,” Haruka said quietly and walked over to his partner. He took the tie
from between Makoto’s fingers and started tying it for him. “I’ve never noticed
you were working so many hours before.”
A light chuckle escaped the taller man’s lips. “Are you feeling lonely now that
you're a housewife?”
“Yeah,” Haruka replied so quickly and seriously to Makoto’s halfhearted joke,
that it took a moment to sink in. Then Makoto grabbed him in a tight hug.  “I’m
sorry. I wish I could just take a vacation and spend more time with you before
you leave.”
“Makoto, you’re choking me,” Haruka stated quietly, but didn’t make any attempt
to free himself from the hug. “It’s just a big change…” he continued when
Makoto relaxed his hold. “From training hard for hours every day to doing
nothing but answering phone calls…”
Makoto chuckled. “It’s only been two days, but it feels much longer, doesn’t
it?”
“It does…” Haruka sighed and added, “I expected more backlash.” He rested his
head against Makoto’s sturdy chest, wrapping his arms around him.  
What he hadn't expected was the amount of support he had received following his
coming out news conference. There was only little support in Japan outside the
LGBT community, but that support had come from influential parties which made
its importance tenfold. Nevertheless, the support from overseas was
overwhelming.

In fact, the PR team he hired continued to receive interview requests from a
large number of media outlets. Haruka had asked to let him think about it, but
he truly wasn't ready to talk to anyone, let alone the media. He could barely
talk to his parents - it reminded him another cruel winter, 10 years before,
when they had found out his relationship with Makoto wasn't exactly the
innocent best friends relationship they had thought it to be when they left
Iwatobi and asked Makoto and his parents to take care of their son.
===============================================================================


"Makoto?" Haruka woke up in a daze when he heard noise. Makoto was sleeping
next to him under the kotatsu in the living room, still naked after their
lovemaking. The fluffy blanket of the heating table covered him to his chest.
He moaned softly in his sleep and Haruka couldn't help himself and stroked his
hair. Their relationship had always been a source of comfort for Haru, but it
had become even more comfortable and much easier without the weight of the
past, which they’d managed to shed in the summer, after swimming with Rin
again.

Haruka's throat was dry and he picked up his boxer briefs, putting only that
on, even though it was going to be too freezing to leave the source of heat and
go the short distance to the kitchen to get a drink. He thought about cuddling
next to Makoto and forgetting about the glass of water, when the door slid
open, startling him.

"Mom..." He was surprised to see his mother standing at the doorway.

"Haruka, why aren't you dressed? You'll catch a..." He could see her eyes
moving behind him to where Makoto was sleeping and then the moment the
realization both of them were naked had hit her.

His heart was racing. "What are you doing here?" he asked. He wasn’t expecting
his parents to arrive until the next week, for the New Year holiday.

"This is my house - what are you two doing?" she asked after regaining her
composure.

Haruka got up, and awkwardly finished pulling his underwear up.

"Haruka! Answer me!" She raised her voice.

"You'll wake Makoto up, let's talk over there," he said quietly and walked
towards her, to the hallway.

As he thought, it was freezing away from the kotatsu and Makoto.

"Explain yourself," she demanded, and looked at his bare torso. "On second
thought, get dressed first," she muttered. "You've really grown since the last
time I’ve seen you."
Haruka went to his room to get dressed rather than going back to the living
room to put on the clothes he discarded earlier. If he could help it, he didn't
want to get Makoto involved right that moment. If he could clean the mess
before Makoto even knew anything, it would be for the best. Even though Makoto
was hurt the last time Haru had kept secrets from him....
 
On the way back to the room where his mother was waiting, Haruka tried to think
how he could explain the situation to her.
"Did you do that?" she asked upon his return. It clearly had been on her mind
the entire time.
"...Yeah," he replied shortly, there was no point denying or beating around the
bush.
"Haruka, what are you thinking? You're only 17. You're not supposed to do these
kinds of things..." She left the rest of the sentence in the air - and you're
both boys.
He shrugged. "Most 17 year olds don't live alone either."
She frowned. "And whose fault is that? …Now I understand why you were so
stubborn. Were you two like this when we left?"
He looked down at his feet. "Yeah..."
"Your father is coming home soon, what are we going to do?"
Haruka looked away. "You can tell him whatever you want."
"I think you should not see that boy again," she said quietly.
"What?" Haruka perked his head, returning his eyes to his mother. He couldn’t
believe the words he just heard.
"This can't be good for you. You will not see him again," she rephrased.
"That is Makoto we're talking about, you know what kind of guy he is."
"Yes, and thinking about it, you were always too close and dependent on each
other. I should've never agreed to let you stay on your own. I will talk to
your father and you'll go back with us."
Haruka looked at her as though she was speaking a foreign language. 
"You can't do that... I won’t go."
"You will do as you are told. Just wait till your father gets here." She threw
a glance at the door. "Also better make sure he doesn't see Makoto-kun like
that. Send him home, it's getting late."
Haruka nodded. He didn't want to get into any arguments right that moment, it
was better to deal with both his parents at once.
 
He went back to the living room and kneeled before the sleeping boy. Touching
Makoto's shoulder, he hesitated for a brief moment, before shaking him gently.
"Makoto... Makoto..."
"Mmm.. Haru..?" Makoto mumbled as he woke up. "What is it?" 
"Sorry, you won't be able to stay here tonight," Haruka told him and looked
away. "My parents are visiting."
"Eh?!" Makoto jolted awake, the kotatsu blanket fell to his lap, barely hiding
his nakedness. "Tonight?!"
"Actually they've already arrived..." 
Makoto jumped to catch his clothes and dressed up in haste. "Should I greet
them?" he asked.
"Maybe not right now," Haruka answered, avoiding Makoto's eyes.
At least Makoto knew when not to press him. "Then I'll see you tomorrow." He
nodded once finished zipping up and left the room. 
 
Haruka went back to help his mother unpack, annoyed the holiday he was spending
with Makoto was cut short.
"I was thinking," his mother said, and Haruka hoped she had calmed down and
found reason, before she continued, "until we make the arrangements for your
school transfer, I’ll stay here to keep an eye on you."
"I will not leave," Haruka said quietly. How could he explain to his mother
that things have just finally fallen into place for him, and he's never been
happier with his life? He still couldn't completely put it in words even to
convey it to Makoto, although he tried.
When his father arrived after drinking at the local bar with his friends, they
had acted as though nothing had happened - his mother preferred to leave it for
the next day.
 ~*~
"Oh, Nanase-san! It's been a while!" Makoto's mother was surprised to see her
old neighbor at the door, early in the morning. "How are you?" she smiled.
Haruka's mother kept her greeting words to the necessary minimum, then asked to
have a talk.
"I don't know how to say this," she said uncomfortably. "I thought I should let
you know... about your son."
Mrs. Tachibana stopped smiling. "Is this about the boys'... relations?" she
asked, carefully choosing neutral words.
"You know about it?" Nanase looked stunned at the other woman.
"It was rather obvious, so I asked Makoto about it." Tachibana shrugged. "They
make each other happy, I don't see what's wrong."
"What's wrong? For a start, they're both boys! What kind of future could they
possibly have?" And then she blushed, not making eye contact. "And they've
been... doing things..."
"Well, at least we don't have to worry about either one of them getting
pregnant?" Tachibana offered in consolation. "We’ve told Makoto to be careful.
As for the future, it's too early to tell how things will turn out. It could be
just a phase, who knows?"
"I can't believe you're okay with this!"
"They would do it anyway; I rather support my son than make him feel bad about
himself and alone... And I trust both him and Haruka-kun. They're good boys."
"Just to make this clear, I’ve already told Haruka I don't want him to see
Makoto-kun again. Please make sure your son doesn't approach him," Nanase said
bluntly.
Tachibana sighed. "I think you're making a mistake, Nanase-san, but I can't
tell you how to raise your son. Very well, I will forbid Makoto from seeing
Haruka-kun."
 ~*~
 
"And so I'm not allowed to talk to you anymore, Haru," Makoto finished
retelling their mothers’ early morning exchange to Haruka, his face dark and
forlorn. 
They were on the roof - in winter it was the perfect location for that kind of
private conversation. No one was crazy enough to have their lunch break exposed
to the elements in near freezing temperature.
Haruka didn't have appetite to finish the bentou his mother prepared for him.
She put a nice quantity of mackerel, the only part of it he forced himself to
eat, but he felt like he would throw up if he had another bite. He raised his
head to Makoto who looked both worried and frozen solid. The wind was quite
chilly on the roof. They should probably go back to class before they both
caught a cold. But first he had to relay the reason he asked Makoto to come to
the roof in the first place.
"So I'm gonna quit the club."
"Eh?" Makoto's expression added surprise to the mix.

"Since we can't see each other..." Haru silenced, the rest of the sentence he
hoped Makoto understood – ‘for the time being’.

"Then I will quit the club," Makoto said. "Haru should continue swimming." He
furrowed his brow. "No, Haru must continue swimming…"

‘It's meaningless without you.’Makoto’s words inevitably floated in Haru’s mind
and he rested his head back against the wall, closing his eyes.
He had never imagined it was possible to feel worse than how he had felt after
the time in first year of middle school, when he thought he had made Rin give
up on his life dream. In the summer, when he finally had a chance to really
talk to Rin, and realized that everything was a big misunderstanding, he felt
incredibly relieved. Nearly 5 years’ worth weight of guilt was lifted off his
shoulders. However, there were also other feelings surfacing - like anger and
frustration, mostly at himself, for all the time he had lost. He chose to
ignore that and focus on how happy and whole he felt - to swim with everyone,
to be with Makoto.

But this time there was no misunderstanding. It was his parents passing
judgment on his life from the outside. He won’t be able to be with Makoto
again, when that was all the life he knew. He won’t be able to be there for
Makoto, who was there for him in good times and in bad, who had always reached
out for him. Makoto saved him. He could've been far worse if it weren't for
Makoto being his source of light in his darkest hour. But his parents didn't
know any of this. And there was nothing he could do.

"No, there is something I could do," he said quietly to himself, then looked up
again. "Makoto, you can't quit the club. You need to swim my share too."

"Haru," Makoto said and rested his hand on Haruka's knee. "You're not thinking
of running away, are you?"

Haruka bit his lips. "My parents want me to move in with them after they find a
school for me."

Makoto's shoulders sagged. "I'm so sorry, Haru... It's all my fault."

"It's not your fault."

"I should be the one going away... Haru belongs here, swimming with Rin and
everyone."

"Don't be stupid, you have your family here, you can't leave."

He was envious of Makoto's accepting parents. They had always treated him as
part of the family, and that hasn't changed even after they've found out the
two of them were more than just best friends.

"I was thinking of going to college in Tokyo anyway," Makoto said. "I'll talk
to your parents. I could probably still find a high school to transfer to for
senior year."

Haruka blinked. "You were thinking of leaving for Tokyo?"

"Well... It's not really important right now, is it?" Makoto avoided answering
the question.

Haruka didn't push him, Makoto was right. There were more pressing issues right
now and there was still senior year before having to worry about university.
But he wasn’t going to let Makoto make the sacrifice. If one of them had to go…

"Please don't run away, Haru," Makoto's quiet voice pleaded before he could
finish processing his thoughts. "I would be worried sick and would have to go
and find you."

It was all Haru could do to keep his calm. "But what can I do?! How am I
supposed to make them understand?!" he yelled in an outburst of emotions. Tears
were stinging his eyes. "I can't even talk to them, they won't listen."

“Haru.” Makoto grabbed his shoulders, holding him in place. “Look at me.”
Reluctantly, Haruka lifted his eyes to meet Makoto’s blazing green orbs. “They
will listen if you really talk to them. Because when Haru is talking, there’s
not a single person who wouldn’t listen.”
 

Despite the calming effect Makoto had on his heart, Haruka still had no idea
how to reach his parents and make them understand. As far as his father was
concerned, if Haruka apologized for his behavior and agreed not to repeat it
again, he was willing to forgive him. The alternative was probably being
disowned. Since Haruka was still a minor his parents could not remove him from
the family registry without providing a new family registry for him to join,
but they could still cut ties and throw him to the street if they wanted to.

"I'm not going to apologize, I've done nothing wrong," Haruka said bluntly, but
then thought better of it. "No, I mean, I'm sorry if my actions have offended
you, but that's all."

"Haruka, you're still young, at your age I've made a lot of passionate
decisions myself," his father said once the two of them sat down to talk
without the presence of his mother. "But one day you will look back at your
life and I don't want you to have any regrets. This... relationship... with
Makoto-kun, it has no future. It will only cause both of you trouble."

Haruka folded his lips and looked down. If he could only say it, somehow convey
how he felt to his father. Somehow he had to find the words that would make his
father understand. His heart was pounding so hard against his chest, it was
almost painful. He grabbed his chest, clutching the shirt in shaky fingers.

"I love Makoto," he said in half a whisper, but loud enough for his father to
hear. "I know how it may seem on the outside, but for me..." His voice quivered
and he wetted his lips, anxious. "It's natural, it's the only way I can see
any future at all. Dad, it's only him, it has to be him." He didn't notice
tears were falling from his eyes until his father solemnly handed him a tissue
box.
===============================================================================
 
Haruka shuddered. The dam he had built around the old memories he wished to
forget was breeched and he felt like he was going to drown.  His shoulders
sagged.
“Are you okay?” Makoto pushed Haruka back to have a look at his face. "Haru!!
Are you okay?!" His voice was frantic.

Haruka touched his wet face, realizing he was crying. How pathetic was that, at
his age?

"I... Just remembered something..." he mumbled. He didn't want to worry Makoto
any further, even though a part of him always craved Makoto’s undivided
attention.

Makoto pulled at his tie, loosening it.

"What are you doing?" Haruka grabbed his hand, forcing him to stop.

"I'm going to call in sick again."

"You can't. You've already done that the other day. Just go, I'll be fine."

Makoto wiped a tear that rolled down Haruka's cheek with his thumb. "Are you
sure?"

"Yes... Just go already before I change my mind," Haruka muttered, turning his
head away.

Makoto's phone started ringing with an incoming call and he gave Haru a
surprised look before pulling it out of his pocket.

"It's Rin..." he mumbled after looking at the screen. "I guess he finally got
the news?"
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Notes
     Unbeta'd, I hope it doesn't suck too much! I tried my best to edit.
Makoto let the phone ring and waited for a reaction from Haruka.
The dark-haired man frowned. Frankly, he didn't want to talk to Rin either
right that moment, but the conversation was probably unavoidable. Rin's busy
flight schedule had at least given Haruka a bit of time before he had to deal
with that issue, but it looked like that time was already up.

Makoto didn’t need more than a glance at Haruka’s face to know what Haru
decided. He touched the panel to accept the call and Rin's angry face filled
the small screen.

"Makoto!! What's going on?!" he asked, yelling. "I've been receiving some
embarrassing mails from people!!"

"Sorry, Rin... things have gotten a little out of control after you left..."
Makoto smiled wryly and glanced up at Haruka, who hurried to wipe his face with
his sleeve, hoping Rin would not notice he had cried.

"Put Haru on," Rin asked more calmly.

"Ah..." Makoto hesitated.

Haruka moved in, shoving his face into the screen and touched Makoto's arm.
"Rin, Makoto has to go to work. I'm calling you on my phone right now."

"Yeah right..." Rin huffed.

"I'm making sure he does," Makoto promised and smiled at Rin. "See you."

As promised, he escorted Haruka to the phone.

"You don't have to watch, I'm calling him," Haruka grumbled. "This is stupid."

"Sorry, I promised."

"You're going to be late," Haruka muttered as he made the call.

Makoto smiled. "Well, if they fire me I’ll be able to spend more time with
Haru," he said and leaned in to kiss Haruka.

It was only meant to be a quick peck, but the shorter man pulled him in with
his free hand, deepening the kiss, lips smacking together, tongues hungrily
reaching to meet.
"Oi, you two. You're more sickening than usual!" Rin's voice came through
loudly, forcing them to pull apart.

Haruka lowered his eyes to his phone. "Shut up, I haven't had sex in nearly a
week."

"Ha... Haru!" Makoto blushed and turned around. "Going now!"

"Have a good day," Haruka said and returned his attention to Rin.

"How are things on your side?"

"Hectic! I just got home, didn't even get to adjust to the jet lag… And what do
I hear?!"

"Ah, I'm sorry I got you involved in this, it seems someone saw us together and
jumped to conclusions..."

"Who cares about that… More importantly, Haru, you're not seriously retiring
are you?!" He frowned.

Haruka remained silent. He knew Rin was looking forward to their next match in
the summer. Haruka couldn’t deny he enjoyed the long-running competition
between them. He even kept scores just like Rin, and so far they were still
tied, but Rin had one victory he coveted most of all - to repay Haruka for
stealing the gold in the last Olympics.

"Haru?"

"I'm sorry," Haruka said softly. "It looks like we won't be able to swim
together again."

"You can't be serious. Are you really going to let something like this stop
you? Gay or whatever, no one even cares about this shit here. Making a big deal
out of it is so 10 years ago."

"Outside Japan..." Haruka mumbled. "But that's not it, Rin. When I said it out
loud, I had just realized that I wanted to quit. I've already reached the top;
it's the best place to leave." Before Rin could make more fuss, he added, “I’m
going back home... I just want to live quietly like before."

Rin huffed. "You're delusional if you think things could go back to the way
they were."

"Maybe not right away, but eventually they would have to," Haru replied. "I'm
sorry, Rin."
Rin tried to persuade Haruka to change his mind a bit longer, the entire time
dancing around what they both knew - the deciding victory between them, the one
that would break the years long tie between them - it had to be on the Olympic
stage.

The more Rin talked about it, the more Haruka understood one thing about
himself. He loved competing with Rin; he enjoyed the thrill, excitement and
extra adrenalin it gave him, but he had no true desire to settle the score
between them. Even after all those years, it wasn't about winning or losing for
him. Maybe something was wrong with him. Maybe he was just unreasonably
stubborn as Rin continued to mutter at him over the video call, but he couldn't
change how he felt.

"Ah, damn, I give up..." Rin finally huffed. "Only for now though. I don't have
time for this."

"Sorry," Haruka apologized again, not sure what else to say.

Rin run a hand through his hair and Haruka could tell he was frustrated, and
also tired. What was the time over there? He opened his mouth to ask, but Rin
already moved on.

"So, about the other thing... Is Makoto okay?" he asked quietly, scratching his
cheek. "I know he never wanted to be in the spotlight... Or come out publicly."

Haruka sighed. "For now it seems like his name wasn't leaked... The police
still have no lead on the guy that tried to blackmail me though."

"Shit, that's gotta be hard... Did the bastard try to make contact again?"

"Not so far, but I have no idea what kind of evidence he has..." Haruka looked
away. "Could you maybe... I know it's a lot to ask..." he found himself
stammering, "Pretend that it's true? About us."

Rin frowned. "I don't like this," he said, clenching his teeth. "I'll make no
comment until the police catch that guy, how's that?" he offered.

"Thanks, I appreciate it." Haruka smiled lightly.

"In return, promise me you'll rethink about retiring."

Haruka sighed. He figured it would come to that. However, it's only been a
couple of days and although he felt complete with his decision, maybe later he
would feel differently about it.

"I need the time off right now," he said quietly, "but I'll give it more
thought later."

It looked like his answer had satisfied Rin - his face wasn't as strained as it
was before. They finished the call with more friendly greetings and Haruka
returned to the reality of staying alone in the quiet apartment with nothing to
do but wait for the daily phone calls to arrive.
===============================================================================


After finishing breakfast, Haruka decided to go to the roof. The communal space
included a small gym , the indoor swimming pool and a sunroof some of the
residents, particularly the women, used for sunbathing. Haruka had rarely seen
any of the other residents. A lot of them were high profile individuals from
different industries so privacy was greatly valued in the mansion and both he
and Makoto had benefitted from that luxury.

There was only one resident using the facilities at that hour. Unfortunately
for Haruka it was a neighbor he was acquainted with, mostly due to Makoto being
too nice and chatty even with complete strangers. Yuusuke Tamura was a young
idol in his early 20s, Haruka couldn't remember the name of the pop group he
was a member of, but he saw him in a couple of movies. He wasn't that
impressed, yet Makoto quickly became friends with the younger man. Tamura knew
they were living together, but Makoto had only explained they were childhood
friends from the countryside sharing an apartment in the big city.

"Nanase-san, good morning!" Tamura beamed at him. "Mako-chan already left for
work?"

It didn't help Haruka to like Tamura better when every time he talked to Makoto
he sounded like he was flirting with him.

Haruka made a face. "Don't add -chan to his name," he grumbled.

Tamura laughed. "It's ok, it's ok; he allows me."

Haruka took off his robe and put it down on the lounge chair. Without another
word he fixed the goggles on his eyes and jumped into the pool, swimming as far
away as he could from the nuisance.

The pool was rather small, so he couldn't get that far away. When he had
finally come up for air, Tamura was still there, smiling. His smiles were
annoying in a whole different way than Makoto's.

"Wow, that's amazing, Nanase-san! You can hold your breath underwater for so
long! And you swim so fast," he admired.

"Obviously," Haruka muttered. "I'm a profe-" he stopped mid-sentence. He wasn't
a professional swimmer anymore, so what was he? Could he still call himself a
swimmer?

Tamura hadn’t noticed Haruka's inner conflict. "You're like a dolphin or
something."

"Not really..." Haruka mumbled and dived again.

He hoped the conversation was going to end with that, but Tamura was still
standing near the pool, drying his sweat with the towel he had around his neck
and waited for Haruka to surface again.

"I told Mako-chan I'll get him tickets for the premiere of my new movie on
Sunday," he said when Haruka threw a glance at his direction and Haru clenched
his teeth in annoyance, which went complete unnoticed by his neighbor. "He said
he has a girl in mind to take with him."

"Really," Haruka replied in disinterest and floated, trying to enjoy the feel
of the water caressing his body.

"I didn't realize he has a girlfriend," Tamura continued.

Haruka opened his eyes, gazing at the cloudy sky through the tinted glass
ceiling. Did he imagine the tone of disappointment in the actor's voice?

"I was sure he was, you know, swinging for our team."

"Our team?" Haruka straightened up inside the water and moved his goggles up to
have a better look at the actor.

"Well, whenever we work out together, I felt there's some kind of vibe between
us, a connection maybe?" The younger man looked flustered and scratched his
head.

Haruka frowned. "You're gay?"

"Not really, but I like guys too." The idol shrugged. "I broke up with my
girlfriend recently so I'm definitely in the market."

It slowly became clear to Haruka it was possible the young idol had no idea
about Haruka's coming out party. Ordinary people and athletes aside, people in
showbiz lived in a world of their own and unrelated news traveled slowly even
in that era. It didn’t really make a difference though; Haruka had no intention
to let Tamura delude himself.

"Anyway, Makoto is not available," he hurried to volunteer information. The
last thing he needed was that guy making passes at Makoto. His boyfriend had a
long history of breaking hearts due to misunderstanding.

"That’s a shame. Then, what about you?"

"Not interested!" Haruka huffed and quickly disappeared under the water.
===============================================================================


When Makoto finally returned home from work, Haruka was still on the phone,
sprawled out on the couch. Makoto loosened his tie and bent over the couch's
back, planting a kiss on Haruka's head and gave him a kind smile.

"One moment," Haruka said and muted the phone. "Welcome back," he told Makoto.
"I'll be right with you." 

"It's okay, take care of your important business." Makoto smiled again and
disappeared from Haruka's sight.

With an annoyed sigh, Haruka returned his attention to the phone call. It's
only been two days, but he's been repeating the same things over and over, it
got tedious fast. When the next call came through, Haruka let it ring and put
the phone down on the table.

He started taking off his clothes. There weren't too many layers. The apartment
was heated nicely and there was even heating under the wooden floor, a
tremendous change from the old Japanese apartment they used to share before.
But even with one layer of clothes and extra years in age, Haruka still had a
habit of leaving a trail behind him.

Makoto was still in the shower when Haruka walked into the bathroom. He was
startled when Haru opened the glass door and hugged him from behind. "Geez,
Haru! What are you doing?" He threw a glance over his shoulder.
"Taking care of my important business," Haru replied and reached down, giving
Makoto's cock a squeeze.

"Ha... Haru..." Makoto turned around and took the other man into his arms. He
pressed his lips to Haruka's neck, hand traveling down Haru's back - he pushed
a finger into the firm ass. Haruka grabbed his shoulders in return, lifting up
one leg over Makoto's torso and pressing his erection against him. Makoto
buried another digit inside Haruka, stretching him gently and the athlete
sighed softly, sliding one hand along Makoto's muscles down to where their
members pulsated together. He rested his hand on the leaking cocks and started
rubbing them together, their fluids mixing with water. It was hard to focus as
Makoto continued to tease him inside, stretching and rubbing, forcing more
small groans to escape Haru's throat. His hold around the two swollen organs
weakened. He needed to feel Makoto inside him with no further delay. It looked
as though Makoto had also had enough of the foreplay. He grabbed Haruka's waist
and pulled him up. Haru wrapped his arms tightly around Makoto's neck, hips
wrapping around Makoto's waist. He relaxed his body, allowing Makoto to slide
into him with more ease.

"Ma... ko… to..." He whispered into his lover's ear as he felt himself
stretched to the limit. His own erection, pressed to Makoto's tight stomach,
lost a bit of its hardness due to the new stimulation, but that only made Haru
crave more.
"Deeper..."

"Ahh.." Makoto replied, moaning into Haru's hair. He thrust his hips into Haru,
while pressing on Haru's waist to meet his thrusts. The water continued to pour
over them, and Makoto had to move back a step, leaning against the wall for
support. Haruka buried his face in the crook between Makoto's shoulder and
neck, grazing his teeth against the skin as he tried to suppress his groans.

"Haru... Haru... Ka..." Makoto wheezed as his thrusts became more forceful.
Haruka had always loved the way Makoto gasped his name on the brink of orgasm,
as though nothing else existed in the world but him. He could feel Makoto's
cock twitching inside of him before releasing his first load. Makoto pulled out
quickly, letting the rest of the hot, sticky fluid hit Haruka's body and wash
away quickly in the steam. Haruka sank his teeth deeper into Makoto's shoulder
as he reached his own climax. 
Panting heavily, he slumped over Makoto's shoulder. He could feel the erratic
beating of their hearts, still in near perfect synchronization. Makoto
continued to hold him tight, his arms wrapped around Haru's waist.

"I love you," he whispered once regaining his breath.

"Mmm," Haru mumbled in reply, taking a whiff of Makoto's soap scented neck. "Me
too."
===============================================================================


They soaked in the bath, this time Makoto the one resting comfortably in
Haruka's arms. Haruka picked up Makoto's hand, stretching his fingers against
Makoto's.

"I finally called my mom today," he said quietly.

"What did she say?" Makoto asked with a crooked smile. "I told you so?"

Haru chuckled. "No... She was strangely caring, asked how you were too."

"Did you tell her you're coming home?" Makoto raised his head, throwing a
glance at Haru.

"Yeah. She said it's okay, but the neighbors might be nosy."

"I will tell my mom to leave you alone," Makoto joked.

"That reminds me..." Haruka let go of Makoto's hand and draped his arm around
his chest again. "Is your sister coming over this weekend or something?"

"Eh? Ah, I forgot about that... I should tell her it's canceled." Makoto looked
up again. "How do you know?"

Haruka wrinkled his nose. "Met Tamura at the pool this morning.”

"Sorry, we talked about his new movie and he said he could get me tickets for
the premiere... I wanted to surprise Ran."

"He thinks she's your girlfriend and I didn't deny," Haruka said quickly.

"Ehh.. Why?"
Haruka didn’t want to talk about ‘the vibe’ or ‘connection’ the actor felt.
Makoto was a master at confusing people - he was too nice to everyone and too
clueless to realize when he was overstepping boundaries. It hasn’t changed
since they were kids and by now Haru had given up on the hope that it would
ever change.

Instead, he huffed. "You should stay away from him. I think he likes you."
 
"Ehh?" Makoto tilted his head, glancing up at Haruka. "Of course he doesn't. He
has a girlfriend, doesn't he?"

"They broke up," Haru said as he caressed Makoto's chest. "And he outright told
me he's into men too."

"Ehhh..." Makoto raised himself up and turned around to kiss Haru briefly.
"Don't worry! My heart belongs only to Haru." He smiled lightly.

Haru huffed and twisted his lips. 'It's not your heart I'm worried about...' he
thought with a sigh. Beyond showing his discontent, he couldn't really restrict
Makoto from seeing someone the other considered a friend.

"If he tries anything, I'll make it clear," Makoto reassured him and brought
Haruka's hand to his mouth, kissing it lightly.
===============================================================================


Even though Makoto still had another workday left, they made love three times
that night. It felt like they were teenagers again, except the little time they
had left together hovered above them like a dark and persistent rain cloud.

Haruka sat up in the bed and stared at his sleeping lover. Resisting the urge
to touch his hair and smooth some unyielding locks, he decided to let Makoto
have his sleeping quota in peace and got up, choosing to breathe some fresh air
at the balcony instead.

There were no stars visible in the sky, but below, the metropolitan of Tokyo
glittered the sky's share too. It was a magnificent sight, albeit chilly.
Haruka rested his arms on the railing and leaned in, staring into nothing in
particular, the twinkling lights becoming a blur.

His mother had asked him if he had to return to Iwatobi and why couldn't he
stay in Tokyo. He had no concrete answer. Of course he would've rather stay
with Makoto. If there was any place that truly felt like home, it was Makoto's
arms. But Makoto was gone most of the day and he was left to deal with the hole
which was once occupied by his swimming career. The pressure and the loss of
anonymity, once a comforting advantage in the big city, were too much for him
to handle. He was never a people's person to begin with - he needed peace of
mind and quiet time alone to be able to function. Even with the side effect of
fame that came with his success, he was able to maintain the balance and a
semblance of sanity. The last three days changed his life beyond recognition
and it felt like he had aged years.

He rested his chin on his hands, eyes still fixated on the city that was as
awake as he was even at that hour. The return to his family home in Iwatobi was
not going to be simple. Haruka knew that much. Even before coming out, every
move or decision he made was scrutinized in the small community that viewed him
as a hero. With what eyes were they going to look at him now?

Haruka heard the door sliding open and threw a glance over his shoulder.

"Haru?" Makoto stood behind him. "What are you doing? You'll catch a cold." He
covered Haruka's back with his large body, engulfing him in his arms. Indeed,
it was warmer like that. So warm it pinched Haruka's heart to think he'd spend
the rest of the winter away from that warmth. He rested his head back, fitting
perfectly in the crook of Makoto's neck.

"Let's go back to bed," he whispered. "I'm sorry for making you get up."

"Nuh-uh," Makoto hummed and kissed Haruka's head. "Worrying about Haru gives me
some kind of essence," he admitted with a chuckle.
***** Chapter 4 *****
Chapter Notes
     Now that I know that "Iwatobi" is in Tottori prefecture, I know it
     would be around 6~7 hours to make a one-side (expensive!) trip by
     bullet train.
     Fukuoka - one of the southernmost prefectures in Japan.
With the strange week he was having, Haruka had already lost track of what day
it was. It wasn't that his life as a professional swimmer wasn't  hectic, but
he had a schedule he was used to and a team of people to remind him the day,
time and any obligation he had aside for his training menu. And at the end of
every long day, he had Makoto’s warm smile to wait for, which he repaid with a
warm meal and bath. Both of them enjoyed the lifestyle they had adapted.
"I'm sorry, I really don't feel I would be able to be a proper spokesperson for
the LGBT community," Haruka tried to turned down the seventh person he was
talking to since morning. He avoided saying he had no desire to be an activist
of any sort – Makoto had told him to consider other people had strong feelings
about those matters. The doorbell buzzed and while still trying to get rid of
the person on the line, he switched on the intercom, getting a view of the
young olive-haired woman who waited outside the building. "Haru-chan! Let me
in!" she said and stuck out her tongue.

"Ran!" he let out in surprise and pressed the button to allow her into the
building. He hurried to finish the phone call without being too rude.

"What are you doing here?" he asked after letting her inside the apartment.

"It's Friday?" She glanced at him as she stepped out of her high-heel shoes. He
had slippers ready for her at the step of the genkan.

Friday... That meant the weekend was coming. He remembered he was supposed to
spend the weekend in Fukuoka and Makoto had invited Ran to keep him company.

"I know, I know, it’s cancelled, but since I'm free I thought I could keep
Haru-chan company until my brother gets back." She smiled.

Haru narrowed his eyes. The phone was buzzing again, but he ignored it. "Did
Makoto put you up for it?" he asked. "I'm fine, I really don't need
babysitting."

"He didn't! I wanted to see Haru-chan; it's been a long time."

Haru sighed. "Fine. Do you want tea?"

"Yes please." She smiled at him again. The landline started ringing. Haruka was
used to it and continued to the kitchen, but Ran looked confused and followed
him. "You're not going to answer the phone?"

"No." He raised his mobile phone which was still buzzing with an incoming call.
"This keeps me busy enough."

"You need a secretary," she said, amused. "What do they want from you? Juicy
details about your long distance affair with Rin?"

"Actually just now I had a call from some organization; they want me to
represent Japan in some international conference for homosexual athletes."

Ran stared at him for a moment in surprise, before bursting into a laugh.

"They want you to speak for them?" She asked between giggles and snorts.

"Yes." He shrugged. For a man of little words it was an amusing concept. "I
told them I'm not good with speaking."

"Not that," she tried to control her laughter as she spoke. "You're so vanilla,
you're practically a virgin!"

He made a face. "I was having sex when you were still having tea ceremonies
with your dolls," he muttered, blushing.

"But you only had one partner right? Does it even really count as being gay?"

Haruka closed his mouth. It's true he had no experience with other men or
women, but he didn’t feel the need or desire to have that experience either. If
being with Makoto defined him as gay, he had no problem with that. All he knew
was that both of them had lucked out finding each other so early in life, or as
Makoto's mom used to say, they've nurtured each other for the role.

"In a way, Ren is more fitting to represent the community," Ran added when Haru
didn't reply.

Haru was surprised at the mention of the name. Ren was a sore spot for the
Tachibana family. Growing in the shadow of his almost perfect brother and the
energetic, strong minded twin sister, the sweet boy had become rebellious as a
teen, and although his sexuality, just like his brother's, was accepted, he was
the complete opposite from Makoto and Haruka and switched partners as often as
his underwear. Talking to him seemed to achieve the opposite, and after barely
graduating high school and failing the university entrance exam a few months
before, Ren left for Tokyo and his family lost contact with him. Makoto had
tried and failed to find him.

"You've been in touch with Ren?" Haru asked.

"No, I was just saying it because he's..." she begun stammering. "Anyway, that
must be rough having people digging into your private life." The girl quickly
switched the subject back to Haru.

He still eyed her and she took the mug of tea from his hands, taking a sip.
They went back to sit in the living room.

"I'm going back to Iwatobi," Haru said once they settled on the couch.
"Probably next week."

"Onii-chan told me." She turned the hot mug between her palms. "I don't know
why you want to be miserable so much," she muttered under her breath.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He frowned at her. "Makoto will also return
next year."

"You two can hardly be away from each other one day. Onii-chan was like a dog
missing his owner every time you had to go abroad," she said, waving her hands.
"And when onii-chan was away last year for work, you were also quite
pathetic... You called me for every little thing!"

"Sorry," he muttered and scratched his head. Both he and Makoto were adults and
had control over their life, but even though they weren’t together 24/7, the
need to be together and see each other every day hadn’t diminished one bit with
the years. He couldn't expect anyone else to understand their feelings.
Ran sipped the tea and looked around the spacious living room. "Onii-chan might
get even lonelier in such a big apartment. It’s a bit far from my university,
but I'd love to upgrade from my crappy one room apartment..."

Haruka shook his head. "You're a student so you shouldn't be spoiled. We lived
in a crappy one room apartment too when we just moved to Tokyo."

She sighed. "Onii-chan would've agreed."

"Unfortunately, Onii-chan is not here," Haruka said and rubbed his chin. Both
of them knew that if she pressed a little more, he would've caved in - Haruka
was always soft with the twins, sometimes even more than Makoto.

"So won't you tell me?" he asked when the phone got quiet again, raising his
eyes to the girl.

"Tell you what?"

"Where's Ren."

"I don't know..." she said quietly.

"Yes you do."

"Okay, I do," she admitted, "but he made me promise not to tell anyone."

"Is he okay?" Haruka asked. Maybe instead of answering calls and turning down
interviews, he could use the time and look for Ren. Makoto would be so happy to
see his little brother again.

Ran shrugged. "He said he'll come back when he feels like it... He's really
stubborn."

"What is he doing?" Haruka asked and hoped the boy wasn't selling his body to
dirty old men.

"He's... Working..." Ran hesitated. "Uh, he's doing okay."

Haruka straightened. "Ran?"

"He's not doing something illegal…" She blushed.

"Ran?" He stressed her name.

She sighed. "I can't tell you the details, but he's working at a host club..."

"He's a host?" Haru asked in a low voice.

"Yeah, basically he's seducing women to buy expensive alcohol..."

Haruka started to put two and two together and furrowed his brow. "You
shouldn't go to places like that, Ran. You're still a minor too." And it’s such
a dubious industry, he finished the sentence in his mind.

She blushed more furiously. "My friends made me... They wanted to see what it
was like... And then I saw Ren there..."

"They're not supposed to hire him either," Haruka said sternly. "He's still not
20."

"Geez, Haru-chan is so strict... They hire a lot of guys who are between 18 and
20," Ran huffed. "And anyway, isn’t it good I went there? Now I know where Ren
is, and I know that he's fine."

"I want to see him," Haru said. "Give me the details."

Ran shook her head. "He asked me not to tell anyone, he made me promise not to
tell onii-chan."

Haruka smiled lightly. "Then it's good I'm not him, isn't it?"

"What are you going to do?" Ran asked quietly. "I tried talking to him; he
doesn't want to come back."

"I didn't get to talk to him." Haruka shrugged and put down his mug on the
coffee table, before getting up and brushing his sweatpants. "I’ll get changed
and we’ll go."

"Ehh?" Ran eyed him. "Go where?!"

"Ren's place."

"You can't be serious."

"We have plenty of time before Makoto gets back, it'd be better than watching
me answer phone calls."

She tapped on her lips. "I don't know, I think the last one you answered was
pretty amusing." She grinned at him.

Haruka changed into warm clothes really fast and was already halfway to the
door before Ran could finish her green tea. She had no choice and quickly
gulped down the last of the bitter drink, smoothed her skirt and followed
Haruka to the door, retrieving their coats at the exit.
===============================================================================
 
The elevator opened and Haruka immediately regretted his timing. "Either I
don't see you at all for weeks or two days in a row, Nanase-san!" Tamura's
smiling face greeted him. 
Ran clutched Haruka’s arm painfully. He looked at her, and realized she
recognized the idol. She looked star struck. Come to think of it, Makoto
mentioned she liked Tamura. There goes the surprise Makoto had planned for his
sister.
"And who’s this beautiful lady?" the idol asked once Haruka and Ran stepped
into the elevator. 
"That's Makoto's--" Haruka hesitated. He wanted to deceive Tamura a while
longer, without resorting to lies.
"Can’t be his girlfriend?! She looks so young!" Tamura didn't wait for him to
finish.
"N-no, I'm just his sister," Ran said with a light blush. 
Barely five floors down, the two were already acquainted. Ran possessed the
same social ability as her older brother. 
"Let me take you to Shinjuku, It's on my way," Tamura offered when they reached
the ground floor. He pressed the button to keep the elevator’s doors open and
continued smiling at Haruka and Ran.
"We're fine, thank you," Haruka refused immediately.
Ran swatted his arm. "Oh come on, Haru-chan! You don’t even know where the
train station is!"
Haruka made a face and Ran smiled impishly and gave the final push. "Two words
- Shinjuku station."
"I suppose we could use a ride," Haruka muttered. He really hated that huge and
crowded station more than anything else in Tokyo.
Tamura smiled too and clicked to close the elevator doors, the elevator
continued down to the parking level. Tamura led them to his slick black
Mercedes-Benz.
Haruka considered sitting in the passenger’s seat in the front, just so Tamura
won't get ahead of himself and become too acquainted with Ran, but with the
alternative being having to engage in a conversation with the young actor the
entire way, sacrifices had to be made. 'Sorry, Ran,' he thought and sat in the
backseat.
Ran's self-consciousness soon disappeared and she talked to Tamura as a friend
- he even asked her to call him by his given name and all formalities were
dropped after that.
Meanwhile in the backseat, Haru felt like a chaperon - escorting two kids on a
date. He made sure the chat wasn't getting too intimate - Tamura wasn't someone
he could entrust Ran to. And meanwhile he also researched his phone about host
clubs. He only had vague knowledge from movies and from some jokes Nagisa made
in the past, when they just moved to Tokyo. He wanted to know more before
facing Ren.
===============================================================================
 
"This should be it," Tamura finally said after pulling to a stop in a
residential area of Shinjuku. It didn't take too long and the traffic was
surprisingly not too heavy. Haruka mumbled his thanks to his neighbor and
hurried Ran out of the car.
"Geez, Haru-chan! I was this close to getting his mobile user name!" Ran
complained when the car sped away. 
"Then we arrived just in time," Haruka said quietly and looked around. The
quiet street only had moderately tall mansion type apartment buildings. He
followed Ran to one of them. It was a regular old mansion built in the early
2000s. For some reason he expected Ren to live in a more fancy place. Although
he was sure the location alone made the rent ridiculously high.
Ran buzzed the intercom and waited. After a moment passed with no reply, she
buzzed again. "He's probably sleeping in. Nothing changed there," she said and
tried again.
Haruka huffed. Just then, a neighbor walked outside, pushing the heavy door at
the two. Haruka quickly grabbed the door and held it for Ran.
There was still no reply when Ran buzzed the doorbell. 
"Maybe he's out?" she wondered.
Haruka shook his head and pressed the button several times impatiently.
After a few seconds of listening to the gritting ding dong sound distorted by
Haruka's repeated clicking, the door opened widely.
"Ran!! What do you think you're --" Ren abruptly stopped shouting as he stared
at Haruka.
Haruka stared back at the young man before him. Since he couldn't make it for
the twins' 18th birthday, it's been nearly two years since he had last seen
Ren. The boy wasn't as tall as his brother, but he was slightly taller than
Haruka now, perhaps Rin's height. He had changed his hairstyle and let it grow
to his shoulders - even bleaching it a lighter brown color with orange tint.
The straight short hair and bangs were replaced with a wild mane that covered
most of his face. In short, if Haruka wasn't told the young man in front of him
was Ren, he wouldn't have recognized him.
They studied each other for a moment. "Ha... Haru..." the boy stammered,
surprised.
"Been a while, Ren," Haruka said quietly.
"Ran!! I told you not to tell anyone where I am!" he yelled at his sister after
a short moment.
"Well, you said not to tell onii-chan..." She pointed out with a wry smile.
Without waiting to be invited, Haruka pushed Ren aside and entered the
apartment, taking off his shoes at the genkan, but not his coat. He threw a
glance at the kitchenette in the narrow hallway. So Ren lived in a typical one-
room apartment. It was identical to the one Haruka shared with Makoto when they
moved to Tokyo for university, but he was still surprised.
"Hey, where do you think you're..." Ren was yelling behind him. 
"Sorry to intrude..." Ran said politely and followed Haruka inside the room.
She did leave her coat at the entrance.
Haruka stopped at the door. The one room was as narrow as he expected... the
bed took most of the space and a closet, small table and an old flat tv
provided all the furniture in the room. At least that's what Haruka detected
between all the clothes that were thrown around in chaos. 
"Geez, Ren... How can you live like this..." Ran muttered as she walked in,
trying not to step on a pair of dirty underwear.
 "I only come here to sleep and you've ruined that!" Ren growled back.
Haruka turned around towards the twins. "Ran," he addressed the girl and took
out his wallet. "Go buy something for yourself, okay?" He handed her all the
cash he had in his wallet and her eyes widened. Ren also stared in amazement.
"Is this... Is it really okay?" she asked quietly.
"Is it enough?" Haruka asked.
"Ahh, I think I can find a thing or two..." She smiled sheepishly and gave him
a brief hug. "Thanks, Haru-chan! See you later, Ren!" She waved at the two of
them and ran outside.
Haruka turned to Ren. "I take it the host business is not taking off?"
Ren blushed and moved a strand of hair from his face. "She even told you this
much..." he muttered and continued, "Does Makoto also know?"
Haruka furrowed his brow at the mention of the name. When the twins were in
middle school, Ren started calling Makoto in the more adult way- "nii-san"
instead of “onii-chan” – which at the time bothered the older brother. But
calling Makoto by name sounded like an attempt to distance him. Did Ren dislike
his family that much? 
"Makoto doesn't know," Haruka simply said. "I'm not going to tell him."
Ren huffed and looked away. "Then we're done here." He scratched his ribs and
stifled a yawn, preparing to go back to bed.
Haruka stubbornly blocked his way. "I haven't started."
"Mind your own business!" Ren tried pushing him away, but Haruka planted
himself firmly and didn't budge. 
"You are my business." He folded his arms over his chest and looked intently at
Ren. "You're important family."
Ren scoffed. "Last I recall Japan doesn't allow homos to get married. You'll
never be my family," he said coldly. 
Haruka ignored the insulting tone. "Marriage is just a piece of paper; you know
I've been nothing less than an older brother to you since you were in
diapers." 
Ren made a face again and before he could make a comeback, they were
interrupted by the ringing of Haruka's phone.
"That's..." Ren's voice faded.
"Sorry, I have to answer." Haruka apologized and took out his phone.
Makoto had made it a habit to call him every day during his lunch break and
Haruka had made it a habit to receive the call. He made sure to always be near
his phone at the designated time, or at the very least have someone remind him
it was the time.
"Hey," he said quietly when he answered the call. Seeing Makoto's smiling face
on the small screen always had an instant calming effect on his heart and mind.
In front of him, Ren made another displeased face. Haruka was sure he wanted to
talk to Makoto yet couldn't bring himself to admit it. Haruka had been in those
shoes before. 
"How's your day?" Makoto asked, beating Haruka to it as usual. 
"I'm good," he replied and scratched his cheek. "Ran stopped by and dragged me
off somewhere. Now we found this stray cat..."
"Cat?" Makoto blinked.
"Yeah. It's a really stubborn stray cat. It wants to eat, but too afraid to
approach my hand no matter how hungry it is."
Makoto let out a laugh. "Ah, don't worry, since it's Haru, I'm sure even that
cat will fall in love with you in no time."
Haruka blushed. "Stupid... Uh, Anyway, I need to help Ran so I'll see you
tonight."
"Un, okay. I love you," Makoto said and his silly happy face made Haruka feel
so hot inside, he regretted not taking off the coat before.
"I know..." he muttered, but Makoto had already hung up. 
Haruka shoved the phone back into his pocket and returned his attention to Ren,
who looked even more sour than before. 
"Are you ready to talk to me now?"
Ren groaned and run a hand in his hair. "There's nothing to talk about, just
leave me alone. I have to work tonight."
Haruka closed the short distance between them. "I can't do that. Everyone is
worried about you." He frowned. "You're not sick or anything, are you?"
"Huh, what? Of course not!" Ren grimaced.
Haruka sighed in relief. "Good, then it can't be worse than anything I've
imagined."
"Right. As if someone like you could ever understand. Just go back home to your
lovely wife... Or is it husband?"
Haruka ignored the dig again, but didn't drop the subject. "Someone like me?"
"Someone like you… who got everything they ever wanted..." Ren gritted his
teeth. 
He grabbed Haruka by his coat's lapels, pulling him closer. Haruka tensed. He
didn't expect Ren to act aggressively, it reminded him how Rin had changed
after returning from Australia... but what could be bothering Ren so much to a
degree he would change beyond recognition? He couldn't finish processing his
thoughts - Ren pushed him to the bed and straddled him, pinning him down.
"Wait.. What are you doing?! Ren!" Haruka raised his voice.
"Don't you ever wonder what it would be like to do it with someone else?" Ren
asked with a dark gleam in his eyes and leaned in.
"No!" Haruka resorted to use force and pushed him away, sitting up. 
Ren nearly fell off the bed, but balanced himself and sat up, looking at Haru
intently. "You've never even once tried it with someone else? Not even a kiss?"
Haruka frowned. "I've never felt any need to..." He had never wondered about it
either, he was perfectly satisfied with his love life – even before their
relationship turned romantic or sexual, Makoto was everything he needed and
everything he wanted - that was one thing that never changed through the stages
of his life.
"Then how the hell do you think you'll be able to understand me?" Ren's voice
trembled and for a brief moment Haruka saw the Ren he knew.
"You've never had to search everywhere... to keep looking and looking... to
struggle to forget..."
The boy’s shoulders sagged, but he didn't cry. He clutched his fists tightly
until his knuckles turned white.
"Ren..." Haruka said softly and tried to touch the boy's shoulder, but withdrew
his hand. "Are you perhaps... in love with me?" he asked carefully. 
Ren raised his head in surprise and looked at him, pale as a ghost.
Haruka pressed his lips before continuing, his eyes a darker shade of blue.
"No... It's Makoto, isn't it?"
***** Chapter 5 *****
Chapter Notes
     This chapter is the first part of a middle-school period flashback.
     Warning for underage sex (there's also a reference to my shota fic),
     semi-no consent, and Haruka being a jerk to Makoto.
 
The atmosphere in the room became heavy. Haruka studied the younger man’s face.
"Of course not, he's my brother!" Ren said after a bit too long of a pause.
Haruka sighed inwardly, suddenly remembering how the twins were always fighting
over who would get to marry Makoto when they were little. It was amusing for
everyone – except for Makoto who always ended up buried under their weight –
but Haruka never thought the idolizing childish crush Ren had on his brother
would manifest into this awkward conversation they seemed to be heading into.
He scratched his head. "Ren, I don't know what it's like to have forbidden love
for a brother rather than a best friend, but I can understand why you would
love Makoto, because it's probably similar to why I love him..."
Putting it simply, Makoto was a rare kind of human being. He was someone whose
shortcomings concluded with being too selfless - worrying and caring for others
too much even at his own expense, getting scared easily, and being a disaster
in the kitchen. With that, it was impossible not to love him, and Makoto had a
lot of love to give in return. In a way, Ren was right. Haruka knew from a very
young age that he wanted to spend his entire life with Makoto and even to this
day he had those moments when he couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have
Makoto by his side.
Being with Makoto felt natural to Haruka, but it took him a long time to accept
his feelings. As close friends who always did everything together, they shared
their first sexual experience even before realizing what it meant or before
kissing for the first time – a real kiss, not the chaste kissing games they
played on occasion as kids.
Ren clenched his jaw and clicked his tongue in annoyance, loud enough for
Haruka to hear. 
"But even though I understand, I'm not going to give you Makoto," Haruka
continued. "I know you feel desperate right now; I've felt like that before
myself... It may sound cliche, but you're still young. You'll find someone
else."
Ren threw him an 'it’s easy for you to say' glare and huffed. "What if I don't
find someone? What if Nii... what if Makoto is..."
"Makoto is not the one for you," Haruka cut him off bluntly. "That's
impossible." He was confident in every word he uttered. "Because he's without a
doubt my one."
Ren sighed and lowered his head, chuckling bitterly.
"Ren, It's never easy...” Haruka’s throat felt dry. He’s been talking awfully
lot this past week. He wetted his lips and sighed, taking his eyes off the boy.
There was no choice but say it.  “Even for us it wasn't easy... You're too
young to remember... But let me tell you something I never wanted to think
about ever again..."
 
===============================================================================
 
 
After quitting the swimming club at the end of the first year of middle school,
Haruka vowed never to swim competitively again. He knew the self-punishment he
inflicted on himself was affecting his best friend too. Makoto continued to go
to club practice until the end of the school year, but the following spring
when their second year started, Makoto also quit the club. Without their two
best swimmers the other kids started to lose motivation and dropped out. The
club was disbanded before the first term ended.

Haruka hated it. He hated the hurt look in Makoto's eyes, he hated the kind
smile that hid Makoto’s true feelings. But more than anything, Haruka hated
himself. He couldn't stop seeing Rin's face in front of him - crying, hurting,
because Haruka had destroyed his dream. The thought that Rin stopped swimming
and pursuing his dream because of him was something Haruka couldn't bear and he
couldn't even say anything to Makoto, because he didn't want Makoto to know
such an ugly thing about him. He never wanted to see his sin reflected in
Makoto's eyes.

Haruka continued swimming when he had a chance. In the summer, he went to the
public pool, usually with Makoto and his family. Playing with the twins in the
shallow waters or trying to swim in the deep end with so many people around was
nothing like the freedom he used to feel when swimming fast, but at least he
could feel the water. During summer he also swam in the sea sometimes, but
mostly he resorted to soaking in the bath. As the time passed, his mood grew
darker. Life started feeling like stale food, lacking the flavor that once made
it enjoyable.

Haruka’s change took a turn for the worse when his grandmother was
hospitalized. His face was constantly either sour or apathetic. He never talked
much, but his tacit periods grew longer. And yet, even though he's been rude,
unfriendly and just about intolerable to be around, Makoto had still stayed by
his side. The other students at class had pretty much ignored him. Even though
he was athletic and good at sports, during PE class or sports day, he would be
the last one to be elected into a team, and only selected out of default.
Makoto was the only one that didn't seem to give up on him, and Haruka even
overheard one guy asking Makoto why he was friends with him at all - it was
after Makoto declined invitation to a party Haruka wasn't invited to.

Haruka also wondered what Makoto saw in him. He didn't feel deserving of
Makoto's care, but looking back, it seemed like it was the only thing that
still kept him going through every day.
===============================================================================


"Haru..." Makoto sighed and tapped on his notebook. "I don't get this!" They
were in Haruka's living room, doing homework. It was their third and final year
of middle school and summer was approaching quickly.

Haruka made a face. "I told you I'm not going to teach you."

"Please...? Haru?" Makoto put his hands together and gave Haruka his best puppy
eyes impression.

It worked. Haruka could not say no when Makoto gave him that look. It was hard
to believe he could have that cute face on top of that body. Makoto grew much
bigger in the last few months, already nearing 180 centimeters. Even though he
was now swimming even less than Haruka, his body was still in good shape,
although not as firm as when he was training.

"Then come over here, I'm not getting up," Haruka finally muttered.

His friend's face lit up and Haruka felt his heart skipping a beat. He looked
away. Soon he felt Makoto's body leaning into him as he sat down. He turned
back to his friend. "Stupid, you're too close. It's hot, isn't it?"

Makoto smiled sheepishly. "Sorry..."

Haruka sighed as he felt his cock twitch and harden in his shorts. His studying
mood which wasn't that strong to begin with, was completely spoiled. Now all he
wanted was to get out of his clothes and find release.

Ever since their first time rubbing against each other in the bath when they
had just started middle school, they've been doing those naughty things
together when the mood struck. Usually it was just mutual masturbation, but
sometimes they would lie down together and rub their cocks against each other.
It was interesting to find out that depending on how they did it, the sensation
they got out of it was completely different. And so they continued to
experiment whenever they got the chance - or rather when Haruka decided to do
it, since Makoto never dared to initiate a touch.

As Haruka attempted to cool down and concentrate on helping Makoto with
homework, the door slid open and he nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Haruka, I'm going to the market in the next town, do you want me to get you
anything?"

Haruka took a moment to inhale before asking for more mackerel.

"Why did I even bother asking..." she muttered. "Then I'm going. Makoto-kun, if
you're hungry there's some curry leftovers in the fridge," she said.

"Okay, thank you auntie, take care." Makoto smiled and she closed the door.

Haruka sighed, letting out all the air he held in his lungs. He flipped his
notebook upside down and straddled Makoto.

"Eh, Haru? What's wrong?" his friend asked in confusion, but suddenly blushed
as he felt Haruka's hard-on pressed against him. "W.. Wait... Haru-chan...
Auntie is..."

"She won't be back for another two hours... Let's do it, Makoto."

"But homework..." Makoto tried to protest meekly.

"I'll teach you later." Haruka pushed Makoto down, pinning him to the floor.
"Consider this advance payment."

"Ehh.." The younger boy tried again to protest, but Haruka grabbed him through
the pants and his protest turned to a sudden moan. He was always easy to
arouse.

"Haru..." he gasped when Haruka shifted on top of him, the tents in their
shorts squashed together. Haruka suppressed a groan and rose to his knees,
allowing Makoto to pull down his shorts and underpants. His erection jutted out
with a subtle curve. Haruka flushed as he observed it. Makoto was also blushing
furiously, his hands tightened into fists at the sides of his large body.
Haruka removed his own clothes completely and his friend's blush grew even
deeper as Haruka pressed his hard member against Makoto's, gasping at the touch
and the radiating heat. Makoto was already slick with sweat and other fluids.

"Annngh.. Ha... ru..." Makoto moaned and raised his legs, spreading his thighs
around Haruka.

Haruka rested his hands on Makoto's knees and pulled himself up. Lately, his
sexual appetite was unquenchable. The only time he could cool it off was
swimming.

"Wanna try putting it in?" he asked quietly and positioned himself on top of
Makoto's erection, feeling the hot rod splitting the tender flesh of his
buttocks.

"Put... What in?" Makoto didn't follow his intentions. "Where?"

Haruka blushed. “I want to have sex.”
The deep red color on Makoto’s cheeks spread all the way to the tip of his
ears. “Se… se… sex?!” he raised his voice. “B-but we can’t… right?! It’s… we’re
guys, so…”
“Two guys can also do it,” Haruka said in one breath. “Do you want to or not?”
he asked impatiently and clenched his butt, squeezing Makoto’s shaft between
the cheeks.
“Aahh..” Makoto grunted in reply. “Haru… no…”
Haruka ignored him and ground his hips. Makoto’s cock felt hot , heavy and
slippery under him and Haruka figured if he didn’t take control, they would
just end up doing the same thing they’ve always done.

"Makoto..." Haruka almost didn't recognize his own voice. It was deep and thick
with lust. “Just shove it in my… butt…”
“No… I don’t want to…” Makoto gasped . “It will hurt for sure…”
“Idiot… it will only hurt for me—“ Haruka nearly bit his tongue as he spoke,
realizing his mistake.
“I don’t want to!” Makoto raised his voice and for the first time tried to push
Haruka off him. “Haru…”
“Be quiet, Makoto…” Haruka grumbled and pinned Makoto’s wrists to the floor,
hovering above him. “Calm down.”
When Makoto stopped squirming, Haruka let go of his hands and reached behind
him, grabbing Makoto’s shaft. He tried to guide the head inside of him, but
that proved to be difficult. Makoto wasn’t helping - he just hid his face with
both hands and left the work to Haruka. Growing more impatient and slightly
annoyed, Haruka raised himself up and tried again, squatting over the thick
bulbous head of the cock.
“Hnn…” He gritted his teeth when he felt his hole starting to stretch, but soon
the organ slipped and hit his behind, and he nearly lost balance.
“Haru… let’s stop?” Makoto tried speaking, not daring to look at Haruka. “It
won’t go in… it’s too big…”
“It’s fine…” Haruka wrapped his fingers around the thick member again. It was
big and he wondered if it could really enter his body. Probably not without
Makoto’s cooperation and even then one of them would have to use force.
“Let’s change positions…” he said and without warning, dropped down onto
Makoto’s chest, put his arm around his shoulder and flipped them both over.
“Uwah, Ha-haru!” Makoto managed to say as he found himself on top of his best
friend.
Haruka raised his legs and spread them around Makoto, arms around his neck
again. “Put it in, Makoto.”
“Ha… ru…” Makoto’s voice trembled. “I can’t…” He tried pressing his cock
against Haruka’s entrance, thrusting aimlessly between Haruka’s buttocks.
“Wait… Makoto…” Haruka tugged on his friend’s sweaty shirt. “Calm down… use
your hands.”
“Uh… okay…” The younger boy moved up to his knees, and grabbed his member with
a shaky hand. He swallowed and tried to lower himself again, using his free
hand for balance.
“Wait!” Haruka suddenly raised his voice and turned around again, standing on
all fours and sticking out his buttocks towards Makoto. “I just remembered… it
should be easier this way…”
“Ehh…” Makoto hesitated before resting his left hand on Haruka’s bottom,
spreading the cheeks as much as he could with that one hand. “Haru… are you
sure…”
“Just put it in!” Haruka yelled in annoyance and dropped his head.
He didn’t mean to yell, but Makoto was far too gentle and timid sometimes.
Couldn’t he read his mind and figure it out?! Haruka bit his lips and waited.
“Okay…” Came Makoto’s muffled reply and Haruka held his breath as he felt the
cockhead pressing against his entrance again. “Then… I’m putting it in, Haru…”
Makoto warned with a meek voice. Haruka closed his eyes, holding his breath
again and tried to relax, anticipating the penetration.
He couldn’t see what Makoto was doing, but suddenly, something big and blunt
entered him with force, tearing him apart from inside.
“Guhh…uuggh” The  air left his lungs and he cringed, falling down to his
elbows.
“Ha… Haru!” Makoto’s panicked voice reached his ears. “Are you okay? Does it
hurt?” he gasped and started to pull out.
Haruka turned his head over his shoulder, seeing Makoto towering over him for
the first time. “Don’t take it out!!” he managed to cry out. “Deeper… shove it
in deeper…”
“Uh… un…” Makoto complied and his hands moved to Haruka’s waist, holding him
firmly in place. "It's almost... half in..." he wheezed.
“Deeper... geh… it doesn’t… hurt…” Haruka uttered, shutting his eyes tight
again, his fingers burying into the tatami floor. “It doesn’t hurt…”
His body felt like it was on fire, pierced by a white-hot iron bar. The pain
was encompassing. When Makoto stopped pushing into him, it felt uncomfortable,
as though he needed to take a bathroom break really bad. He wasn’t sure what
went wrong, but the pain felt good. Feeling Makoto’s pulsating member inside of
him – becoming one with him – felt good.  
“Makoto… start moving…” he ordered his partner through hitched breaths.
Makoto started pulling out and Haruka worried for a second, until suddenly
Makoto thrust himself deeper and repeated the motion quickly. Haruka gasped
with every penetration. When his ears stopped ringing, he realized he could
hear Makoto’s groans too. It looked as though his partner had finally gotten
the hang of it and picked up the rhythm. Haruka let out a cry when it felt like
Makoto had touched his core. Semen started oozing from his own member. He
wasn’t someone who sweated easily, even in the height of the humid summer, but
he was slickening wet inside and out.
“Uhh… uhhh…” he groaned, trying to breathe. “Ma… koto… more…”
“Ha… Haru…” Makoto gasped in response. “It feels… good… it… uwaah…”
It felt strange to have Makoto release his load inside of him. He’s seen his
best friend come in front of his eyes dozens of times, but now he was behind
him, out of his sight, but all over his mind and all over his body. The pain
was still throbbing, but it felt different, pleasant in an inexplicable way.
“Sorry, I…” Haruka heard the other boy mumbling above him, before pulling out
of him.
After adjusting to the weight on top of him, Haruka nearly collapsed when he
suddenly felt empty.
 
“Ha… Haru!” Makoto suddenly cried out, sounding distressed and Haruka tried to
look behind him, but could hardly move himself from the floor – he was spent.
“There’s blood… I…” Makoto’s voice broke. “I told you I didn’t want to do it…”
he sounded panicked as he reached for the little face towel he had in the
pocket of his shorts. “Haru…”
“You’re so noisy…” Haruka grumbled and tried to get up. His bottom was wet and
aching, but Makoto wasn’t supposed to be the one concerned over it. It wasn’t
his business.
“Haru… I probably injured you…” Makoto continued, his voice still quivering.
“I’m so sorry.” He was about to clean Haruka with his towel.
“If you’re going to make such a big deal, just go home already,” Haruka
muttered, flicking away Makoto’s reached hand.
Once again, he regretted it the moment the words had left his mouth, but before
he could apologize, Makoto got up, looking pale – he wasn’t crying, but he
looked as though he was about to.
“Geez, stupid Haru!” he uttered with a frown and disappeared from Haruka’s
eyes.
“Mako—“ Haruka tried calling behind him, but heard the front door sliding shut.
He sighed and reached behind him, then looked at his fingers. They were coated
with blood and semen and he immediate jumped up, flinching with pain, to check
that he didn’t stain the tatami floor with blood. There were stains of sweat
and his own discharge; even though he was still in the nude, Haruka set to the
tiresome task of cleaning the delicate mat.
===============================================================================
 
The entire time he was busy cleaning – first the floor, then his own body,
Haruka had no time to think. He couldn’t soak in the bath for too long because
it was still too painful to sit, so he moved to his room and lied down on his
bed, staring at the ceiling. There, he was all alone with his thoughts.
It wasn’t how he imagined their first time would be. He had done a terrible
thing to Makoto. He wondered if Makoto would forgive him even this time.
Makoto, who had always accepted Haruka in every mood, even took insults with a
kind smile. Haruka couldn’t shake the hurt expression he saw in Makoto’s face.
Maybe this whole time he was testing to see how far Makoto’s patience extended,
and maybe he had finally met with Makoto’s limit.
There was a knock on his door and Haruka held his breath. Could it be that
Makoto returned? If Makoto would be the first one to apologize, even when he
did nothing wrong, Haruka knew he was going to hate himself a little more.
The door opened, but the person at the door wasn't Makoto. It was his mother.
She looked different than usual, her face stern and fallen. For a second,
Haruka thought Makoto had told her what they had done – what Haruka had made
him do. No, even if Makoto was angry, he would never tell anyone.
"Haruka," his mother said quietly, waking him from his thoughts. "I’ve received
a phone call from the hospital. They said granny's condition deteriorated..."
"What?" He stared at her.
"They said if we want to say goodbye, now is the time."
Haruka closed his mouth and continued staring at her blankly.
 
tbc
***** Chapter 6 *****
Chapter Notes
     Part 2 of Middle-school period flashback.
 
At first, when his grandmother was just hospitalized, Haruka had tried to visit
every day. He sat with her, listened to her talk, helped her get up to go to
the bathroom and made sure she was comfortable. However, it became a painful
task to watch his beloved grandmother withering away every day as her body
weakened. Soon, his visits decreased. A part of him wanted to believe that if
he didn't see her, one day he'll come back home from school, open the door and
be greeted by the strong smell of grilled mackerel. He would follow the smell
all the way to the kitchen and she would be there, waiting for him.
"But... it can't be..." He tried to argue with his mother. There had to be
something the doctors could do.
"Your father is on his way back, and I'm going to the hospital now. Do you want
to come with me?"
He wanted to tell her to stop joking around, but the words got stuck in his
throat. Instead of arguing, he pushed her out his way and ran out of his room.
"Haruka!!" He heard her shouting behind him. "Haruka, where are you going?!"
He didn't stop. He ran down the stairs and out of the house, nearly flying from
the stone steps of the shrine and continued running down the hill towards the
direction of the hospital. Makoto, what he's done, the searing pain in his
bottom, nothing was important anymore. He had to go see his grandmother's face,
her kind eyes, hear her words of wisdom and know that everyone was wrong and
she was going to be fine.
He arrived at the hospital's doors short of breath.
"Nanase-kun!" the nurse called when he run past her. He didn't stop to listen.
Everyone was wrong. She was going to be fine. She's going to be fine.
She's going to be fine.
He stopped in front of the closed door and tried to inhale. The last time he
was there, she was sleeping the entire time. Will she be awake now? Will she
smile? Will she be able to talk to him? He couldn't remember what the last
thing he said to her was. It seemed like so long ago that he had walked into
this very same room and she was sitting up in bed and smiling at him.
What did they talk about then? She asked if he started swimming again and how
Makoto was doing. That was it; the two things his life ever revolved around,
besides his family. He lost the swimming, he may have lost Makoto… he wasn't
ready to lose his family too.
As his mind still tried to grapple with the idea of having to let go of yet
another important aspect of his life, the door opened. There were several
nurses inside and a doctor with a long white robe, but Haruka could only see
one thing.
Instead of his grandmother sitting up in bed to welcome him, she was laying
tucked in the blanket, a white cloth covering her face.
'....grandma?'  He tried to speak up, but no voice came out.
"Nanase-kun, I'm so sorry," one nurse said. "We thought she had at least until
tomorrow."
Haruka still stared stunned at the white cloth. It couldn't be true, it was
impossible. He walked inside, ignoring the group of people who were staring at
him with sympathetic eyes.
"Is your mother here?" another nurse asked.
"Granny always talked about you, she was very proud of you." Another nurse
tried to comfort him. “I’m sure she’ll continue to watch over you from above.”
Haruka ignored them and sat down on the chair next to the bed, nothing in his
body hurt anymore, only his heart. It was clamping hard inside his chest, every
heartbeat sharp as a knife.  
"Nanase-san is here," one nurse came in to inform.
The nurses all left the room, leaving Haruka alone with his grandmother. He
felt his aching heart shrinking as he looked at her. If he removed the cloth,
she will really be dead. There will be no mistake. He will see the shell of
what used to be his beloved, wise grandmother. His hand rose up on its own, but
froze and lingered above the cloth.
What was the last thing he told her? What was the last thing she told him? What
was he doing all this time she was still alive and he didn't come to see her
for such selfish reasons.
‘Granny always talked about you, she was very proud of you.’
What a joke, he thought. He was the worst. He was the worst role model for
Nagisa, the worst friend for Rin, the worst best friend or whatever he was for
Makoto, the worst grandson.
 
===============================================================================
 
The days that had passed until all the funeral processes were completed felt
surreal to Haruka - as though he was floating in a bad dream he couldn't wake
up from.
There were so many people gathering at their house to pay respect. Makoto and
his parents had also arrived for the wake. Haruka only paid half mind to Makoto
in his black suit and his friend didn't try to approach him beyond offering
condolences along with his parents and the other visitors. Haruka simply nodded
at him, unable to speak.
 
When Haruka couldn’t take the smell of the incense anymore, the chanting and
the people that continued talking about his grandmother in past tense; he left
the house and wandered along the hills to find himself a secluded location away
from everything.
He stood in the observatory on top of the cliff, overlooking the sea and rested
his hands on the railing. The wind was chilly, even though it was already hot
and humid for early summer. It reminded him his 15th birthday was coming up. It
was going to be the first time his grandmother would not cook him the mackerel
birthday special.
The sea was roaring below him, and in the endless blue he thought for a moment
that he saw her face, and her kind, blue, wrinkled eyes. Looking below, there
was a very short strip of coast and white foam splashed all over as the waves
crashed into the pointy rocks. If he jumped down, would the waves take him to
where his grandmother was?
Haruka climbed over the railing and took a step closer to the edge of the
cliff. Letting the sea take him wouldn't be such a bad idea, it would even be
fitting. But suddenly he thought of Makoto and his hand reached behind him to
grab the railing. Makoto, who was afraid of water and terrified of the sea. If
the sea took him, Makoto would probably never get over that fear again. And
even though Makoto was probably not going to talk to him again, Haruka didn't
want to let Makoto out of his sight as he had allowed his grandmother.
He could still see her face in the water, could still make the lines of her
smile in the white foam of the sea, but he didn't feel like hurrying to join
her anymore. “I’m sorry grandma,” he whispered. “I can’t go to you yet.”
He could hear her call him - the soft whoosh of the waves was whispering his
name. Then louder, and louder, and louder.
"Haruka!!"
"Haruka!!!"
Haruka turned around in surprise. Makoto, still dressed in the black funeral
suit, his face all flushed and sweaty, made his way towards him on the stairs
to the observatory.
"...Makoto...?" Haruka whispered in disbelief.
"What are you doing, Haru?!" Makoto stopped before the railing, hands on his
knees, panting hard. "It's dangerous!"
Haruka still stared at him in wonder and confusion. "How did you know I'm
here?" He finally asked.
"I asked people... I ran... all over town... searching for you, Haru..." His
friend uttered between breaths. His eyebrows wrinkled in concern. "More
importantly... What are you doing? Get down from there, it's dangerous!" he
repeated.
Haruka turned back again and looked down at the crashing waves and the sizzling
white foam. What was he doing? His fingers tightened around the metal railing.
"I saw my grandmother's face..." he admitted quietly. The truth just came out.
The rest were spoken only in his head.'I thought of all the things I never got
to tell her...' His breath hitched as he spoke without words. 'And I... I
wanted to go see her...'
He heard Makoto huffing, then a metallic noise and before he could turn around
Makoto was standing a few feet away from him, having climbed over the metal
fence. He was still flushed, and obviously terrified, clutching the metal
behind him with both hands as he looked ahead at the big blue.
"What are you doing, stupid?!" Haruka raised his voice. "It's dangerous, go
back!"
Makoto threaded closer to Haruka, still holding on to the railing. He covered
the distance between them and looked at Haruka. "I don't want Haru to go..." he
said quietly. "But if you have to go no matter what, I have to go with you."
Haruka felt the heat creeping up to his face. When he looked back at the sea,
he couldn't find his grandmother's face anymore. It was just waves. He wanted
to tell Makoto that having him by his side gave him strength; that if Makoto
was there with him there was no reason to go – that he didn't want to go, but
once again the words he wanted to say were frozen somewhere inside of him.
Instead he huffed, "Idiot. I'm not that weak."
He didn't look at his friend, but he knew Makoto had a big, idiotic grin on his
face. He could feel it, especially when Makoto said, "That’s right, huh? I’m
sorry for being such a worrywart."
Haruka sighed. In a way, he felt relieved. Makoto hadn't left him after all. He
turned around and started climbing the fence. He was about to jump down when he
saw Makoto's large hand reached out towards him, and as he followed the black
sleeve up, Makoto's sweaty face was smiling gently at him. It wasn't an
entirely honest smile - Haruka was good at reading Makoto's smiles, but it
wasn't a smile he hated either. Makoto was still uncomfortable with him, it was
only to be expected.
Haruka huffed and connected their hands, letting Makoto's big and sweaty, but
incredibly strong hand pull him back to safety.
He expected Makoto to let go, but instead Makoto pulled Haruka into his chest,
and wrapped his arms around him. "Don't ever go, Haru..." he mumbled into
Haruka's hair. "Ever."
"Makoto, you're heavy..." Haruka grumbled into his chest. "It’s hot..." he
added when Makoto didn't let go.
"I'm sorry, Haru..." Makoto's voice trembled a little. "I shouldn't have run
off that day... I'm really sorry... about granny..."
Haruka felt his chest ache again. "I didn't get to say goodbye..." he admitted
his biggest regret, his voice breaking. 'All this time I could've gone to see
her and didn't...' He hadn't cried yet, but even now, on the verge, the tears
would not come out.
Makoto relaxed his hold of Haruka and stepped back, still holding his hands on
Haruka's arms.
"I'm sure she knows how you feel," he said with a light smile. "Granny always
knows everything, right?"
Haruka merely nodded. The tears blocked his throat, but everything would remain
bottled up a couple of years longer after that.
As they approached their neighborhood and had a look of Haruka's house up on
the hill next to the shrine, Haruka started feeling uneasy again. There were a
lot of people coming in and out of his house, all dressed in black suits or
black kimono, like bringers of death. He swallowed and reached up his hand,
grabbing the side of Makoto's black suit jacket.
The taller boy turned his head back to glance at him and Haruka gave him a
meaningful, if pathetic look. Makoto didn't need words to understand him; he
gave him another smile and changed direction, entering the garden of his house
instead. The house was empty, with Makoto's father at work and his mother and
young siblings at Haruka's house helping out the chief mourners - Haruka's
immediate family.
Makoto loosened his tie. "Haru, the water in the bath are lukewarm. You should
go soak a bit, it will make you feel better," he suggested and Haruka looked at
him in both amazement and annoyance.
===============================================================================
 
Later, after the first mourning period ended, there was nothing holding
Haruka’s father back from accepting a work promotion and relocating. Haruka had
refused to join his parents. He had promised Makoto he wouldn’t leave. It
wasn’t a promise made with words, and it wasn’t entirely a promise to Makoto,
but even living alone, Haruka had never regretted staying.
He had never talked about the events of that day and Makoto did not bring it up
either. It was one of the dark memories Haruka had buried inside. He raised his
eyes to Ren, who looked a little stunned at the sudden tale Haruka had poured
out in front of him.
"I'm not an easy person," Haruka told him with a shrug. "Maybe it doesn't look
like it, but I'm always taking things a little too deep and heavy." A faint
smile touched his lips. "Makoto was always there to balance me out, to reach
out and pull me out of the darkness so to speak."
Ren furrowed his brow. "Doesn't that mean you’re too dependent on him?"
"Without Makoto, I'm lost," Haruka admitted with no hesitation. "But I don't
see it as a bad thing, rather," he paused. "He gives me strength."
"Well, that's great for you.” Ren pouted. “Not all of us are lucky enough to
have someone like that."
"But Ren, you do. Even if it's not what you might hope for, Makoto loves you.
And he's the kind of guy that has enough love and enough strength to pull back
everyone." Haruka looked at him. "You're lost and confused now, but—"
"I can't look at him, Haru," Ren cut him off. "It hurts too much." He licked
his lips. "And to be completely honest, I'm afraid of the things that run in my
head when I think about him. That's why I finally had to go."
"I see," Haruka said quietly.
"I really hated you..." Ren admitted with a sardonic smile. "I wanted to be
you."
"Trust me you wouldn't have liked being me..." Haruka said. "I guess everyone
goes through the phase of self-loathing, huh?"
There was a thoughtful humming as the young man considered the words.
"Maybe..."
"Makoto would say you're talking nonsense though," Haruka continued. "He's more
like a mother, isn't he?"
"Yeah, it's annoying isn't it? He always sees the good in everyone."
Haruka nodded in agreement. "Yeah, he's annoying like that. I still don't know
how he does that."
They stayed quiet for a moment, until Ren spoke up again. "He should just give
up... Not everyone is like in the picture perfect world he has inside his
head."
"He's too stupidly naive to do that..." Haruka said and got up. "Ren, you just
have to concede to the fact Makoto will never give up on you, no matter what
you do."
Ren shook his head. "He would hate me if he knew."
"He's not capable of hating, you know that." Haruka reached out his hand. "Come
with me, and everything will work out. You could go to university and meet
someone," he suggested. "You never know how life may turn out. It’s a big world
outside this little room."
Ren looked at the reached hand and it looked as though he was considering the
offer. But he just shook his head and leaned back against the wall. "It's too
late for that."
Haruka sighed and lowered his hand. "Just so you know, I don't plan on giving
up on you either."
"What can I say..." Ren chuckled bitterly. "You're as stupidly naive as Makoto.
You two are really a match."
Haruka had to agree with that. He didn't like going home empty-handed, but he
was sure Ren was going to think about what he had told him. It looked like he
needed more time.
"You know how to reach me, right?" Haruka asked and Ren nodded. "If you need to
talk, if you need money or anything... Also, please try the university entrance
exam again."
"And now you're also like a mother..." Ren groaned. "I'll think about it."
Haruka smiled softly. He clasped his hand into a fist and looked at it,
wondering why he couldn't have had the same power Makoto had.
 
tbc
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!