Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/1952352. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan Relationship: Jean_Kirstein/Eren_Yeager, Jean_Kirstein_&_Eren_Yeager Character: Jean_Kirstein, Eren_Yeager, Armin_Arlert Additional Tags: helpful_armin, confused_jean, frickle_frackle, Anal_Sex, plus_some, Smut, Jean_In_Denial, Rivals_With_Benefits, Oneshot, Lots_of_Cursing, Porn_With Plot, Kinda, Romance, Fluff_and_Smut Stats: Published: 2014-07-14 Words: 5188 ****** Fists and Kisses ****** by orphan_account Summary A story about two boys by the name of Jean Kirschstein and Eren Jaeger whose rivalry turned from fists to kisses, and the feelings that happened after that. Notes Oh god, It's been so long since I last wrote any type of fan-fiction. It was literally so weird trying to write this because I'm just so out of practice. Hopefully I can write more, or at least get some inspiration to write more shit soon. Anyways, this fic takes place in the Survey Corps castle before the female titan out in the wilderness. See the end of the work for more notes I couldn’t tell you when it first began. Eren and I would always get into heated arguments, it was something everyone knew. Sometimes it would just be snarky comments, and the usual violent but empty threats. At other times (more often than not) we’d even escalate into a full out fist fight, until some came to break us up. We’d fight over petty things usually, from just breathing the same air, or how the other walks, to things like my jealousy, the fight for humanity and what not. But one day, when the heat of the fight somehow took an... unexpected turn, things changed. And instead of fists, our fights ended with lips. Which kind of sounds a bit awkward, to be honest. But let me explain… It started like this. We were fighting over something stupid. Y’know, same old, same old. This time just happened to be when no one was around. He caught me in an alley, fists in the collar of my shirt as he held me against the wall in the shadow between two buildings. I had said some snarky comment, and as the harsh words grew we found ourselves getting closer and closer. Then, before we knew it, our mouths were moving before our minds, and we were locked at the lips- and violently grabbing against one another to pull in for more. Tongues moved fiercely, and teeth were sharp as our hands gripped tightly in one anothers clothes.   We kissed until we heard someone shuffle close-by and immediately threw ourselves off of one another, throwing half-assed, fumbling insults at each other as we went our opposite ways. Which probably sounded just as awkward... However, It didn’t change anything between us, I mean, we still fought and all. But, instead of beating each other up after arguing, we’d somehow find ourselves hidden in some alleyway or in a deserted room, desperate for another passionate embrace. That was really all it was. The first few times were pretty much all the same. We’d argue, which led to us kissing until we’d both get hard and then, embarrassed, we’d both saunter off to get rid of it ourselves. Then, as our “arguments” grew in frequency, we conceded to grinding up against one another, as needy as you might think two teenage males could get, while fiercely trying to take control of the others wet lips. Usually this happened with me slamming Eren back against a wall, his legs around my waist, as we moaned into each others mouths, breaths hot as sweat formed on our skin. Or, once in awhile, Eren would try to be the one in charge, hands rough while pulling against my shirt — dragging me to him as he’d grind down hard. Against a desk - wall - couch, anywhere he could drag me. Our faces would be flushed and lips demanding, until the friction of our pants against the others would bring us to our climax. Then we would rest there, tangled in each other’s arms and attempting to regain our breath, before making an excuse and wandering off to god knows where, trying to pretend, at least in my case, that “no I didn’t actually just do that with that suicidal bastard of a freak, Jaeger,” and “No my face isn’t flushing red.” My excuses were golden, okay? It only got worse when we both willing added our hands to the mix, something we found much easier to do. And something way more fulfilling than just dry humping. Mumbling sweet insults of “shut up” and “just go with it, shithead” we jerked off each others cocks until we were sputtering messes, yearning for more. Although, man if we thought that was bad then, oral was at a whole entirely different level. Fumbling, Eren would get down on his knees, eyes bright as he’d hold my hard-on in his hand, tracing along the length of it with his wet tongue, and then toying with the head, before he’d take it all in one go. His gorgeous blue- green eyes would watch me the entire time until I was gasping, praying to whatever fucking god existed out there to let this not be a goddamn dream. It would be like that every time until I couldn’t take it anymore and I’d cum, a stream of empty curses hanging off my tongue. It was almost like a contest for the two of us. Both fighting for whoever could give the best blow jobs. Who was winning? I’d like to think I was, with the noises I milked out of him, but with the feel of his lips on my cock… Well, I honestly couldn’t say. Still leaned towards myself though. I didn’t realize how deep I’d fallen, however, until one afternoon at lunch. It was, well, a lunch like any other, soup and some bread as our meal, when Armin decided to sit across from me. We were the first two from our squad in the mess hall. Most of the other had long cleared out by now except for the newer trainees that were stuck with the shitty jobs and always had to eat lunch last. It sucked, but I guess it seemed fair enough. I nodded a ‘hey’ to Armin as he sat down, my mouth full with a bite of bread. “How were your morning duties?” “Horrible, had to clean the stables…” I groaned, “what about you?” “Not too bad, I got to clean clean 3d maneuver gear” “Lucky." “Well, we all got to try and help out in someway…” he offered with a sorry smile. “From the looks of it, it seems like Erens doing well though. He’s been progressing a lot recently… At least from what I can see when he’s not off doing some sort of special training” I had to laugh at that, thinking on how different everything has been since the training corp. The Survey Corps is good, but Eren almost seemed like he was on an entirely new league now, always moving around with the top fighters in the corp. “Yeah, that idiot is doing pretty well lately,” I let out a small smirk then grabbed for my small cup of water and brought it to my lips. “Y’know, it seems like the two of you have been getting along recently…” he started. And, there goes my drink. Choking, I tried to respond with a “W-what are you talking about-” while he grabbed for a napkin in an attempt to help me out. “Oh my—Jean! Are you okay?” When I could finally breathe, I asked again, voice now slightly coarse. "I just haven’t seen you two fighting in a while.” he responded “I was wondering if you finally set aside your differences is all...” Now, I tried to hear Armin out, I really did, but the idea of Eren and me getting along? Had we really not been fighting as much? And since when, since we started- Oh fuck. I tried not to let the images get to me, especially not when it was just last night when he looked so goddamn hot, his eyes the color of the sky as they bore right into me, watching as his tongue slid slowly up my… “Really?” I grabbed another piece of bread, trying to pull off my best shrug, “I didn’t notice.” Armin gave me a quizzical look, and I thought I’d been caught red-handed, but then he changed the subject and we were able to make light conversation before I finished off my meal, trying hard to ignore the thought that I—Jean Kirschstein—and Eren, of all people, might not be fighting, or worse- “Looks like Eren and the rest of them finally finished their jobs—” Speak of the devil. My eyes instantly caught at his name, racing up to find him, and I silently cursed at myself upon realizing so. We could see them before they saw us, just now making their way into the hall. He was talking happily with another squad member, too happily. I could feel my stomach drop angrily, my eyes baring daggers into the other boy, when I realized what I was doing. What the fuck was wrong with me? I took no time in getting up after that, the silent curses of “shit shit fuck shit, nope” settling cozily at the tip of my tongue. Armin was just overthinking things. Of course we were still fighting. We were rivals after all. There was no way it was anything else. I made for the drop off area to put our dirty dishes, furiously trying to scrub them clean as fast as I could (which, with the ferocity I was cleaning with, would have even made lance corporal Levi proud) when, none other than Eren caught eye of me and started heading my way. He looked up at me, the same brilliant blue eyes from yesterday. Honest, pure, inviting… “Jean! Hey I was just—” “Uhm, Sorry, Not now, I’ve, gotta.. busy!” Smooth Jean, just smooth. ===============================================================================   The next few hours were spent trying my best to avoid Jaeger and pretty much anyone that reminded me of him as I worked myself hard on miscellaneous chores around some storerooms inside of the survey corps castle. There was no way Armin was right. Of course we fight. We fought all the time, didn’t we? We always—or at least I fought—over Mikasa. I mean...She’s who I wanted, right? She was beautiful, and strong and… When… when was the last time I even thought about her like that? Fuck, I couldn’t remember. Weeks maybe? Months? That didn’t make sense. She was my dream girl. How could I have not noticed. God I’m so stupid! If Armin was right… then it would have started when Eren and I first began our “arguments,” and that would have to mean... No, that couldn’t mean that I— I—I mean, first of all, Me and Eren? That’s just ridiculous. The nervous panic that started the form in my chest said otherwise. My mouth felt suddenly dry. How would we even look as a couple? I couldn’t see us being all open and cutesy to each other, not to mention we fight like crazy… or used to at least. There’s no way he’d look at me with his goddamn gorgeous eyes all romantic and shit, and say he felt the same way. That was impossible. So what if I didn’t like Mikasa anymore — it didn’t have to mean I liked Eren instead...right? But if I did… “Jean!" You had to be kidding me. I swear to god he had the absolute worst timing. “Jean! I was looking for you!” “E- Eren?” “Damn you’re hard to find.” He grinned, teeth showing past his lips. “What do you need?” fuck, that sounded kinda harsh. “Well, you fucking ran off when I was trying to talk earlier…” “Oh, I did?” “Yeah, you did. What the hell was that about?” He looked up at me, his eyes filled deep with confusion and traces of anger. “Nothing just, I—,” I tried to think of an excuse, while widely glancing around the area, scanning the different directions I could go when… “Well…?” He stood there, hands on his hips, waiting. “Levi wanted you! Over there!” I pointed to a random direction and bolted. ”...hey! Wait—" I could hear his footsteps lag behind me and I hid quickly in the closest hallway I could find, trying to breathe as quietly as I could as I heard his steps pass by. I was acting like a child… Who the fuck just runs away like that? Me, apparently. I waited for a long time before I finally let out a deep breath. I was such a coward. I knew what everything meant, but… It was Eren. Eren and me. We weren’t meant to like each other. We hated each other, even, a fact we both made pretty obvious to everyone around us. It was just… how could he be anything but a rival? Well, Jean, I don’t know. Maybe by acting the same way you have towards him for the last few weeks. Shit, it was so obvious. I should just hurry up and admit it before I hurt myself… But even If I did, there was no way to know if he feel the same. And fuck if that wasn’t the most terrifying thing ever. I don’t understand why I was so afraid. It wasn’t like this with Mikasa. Maybe it was because we were intimate before the whole “feelings” thing, but the idea of confessing seemed to be a lot harder after you’ve already sucked their dick. Deciding the cost was clear, I walked out of the hallway cautiously. He had to be on the other side of the castle by now- “FUCK—!” I jumped, my heart pounding at his sudden appearance. “Jean.” “Eren—god, you scared the living shit out of me…” “What the fuck was that about?” “W-what are you talking—?” “You fucking ran away! What else?” “Nothing, and when did you learn to sneak up on people so well—” “Dont try to change the topic. And It’s not “nothing”, you’re acting weird! Or, at least...weirder.” “Thank you, Jaeger. Your vote of confidence is amazing—” “I’m serious. I don’t fucking get what’s going on with you.” He spat, “What, finally realize your bark is more than your bite-” “You know that’s not true.” I smirked, then quickly wiped it away as quickly as it came. What, was I fucking flirting with him now? I swallowed nervously. There was no way Armin was right. Eren and I didn’t just “get along”, we were practically fighting right now—weren’t we? Although, besides his tone, he actually hasn’t even moved his fists. And yeah, there was anger in his eyes, but his face now seemed way softer than I remember…and even I seemed almost relaxed and... “Dammit…” Why was this so hard to admit. Fuck, It was becoming so obvious, it WAS so obvious, but I couldn’t, it was him— “couldn’t…” I mumbled to myself. and, me— And god who was I kidding, It was taking everything in my will right now not to touch him. “What the fuck are you talking about, couldn’t what—” My eyes glanced up to his frame, his bright eyes, his soft lips, before I grabbed his clothes, pulled him to me and smashed my mouth against his. I pulled back just as forcefully, keeping my hands knotted in his shirt and I searched his face, finding my answer. I found it in the way he looked at me. Confused, but open. In the way his lips looked after my touch. I found it in the way my reflection looked in his eyes. And the way they showed I looked at him. I kissed him again, this time more confidently. My lips gliding and biting across his confused ones before, finally, he returned the pressure, melting furiously into the kiss. We kissed until we were panting against one anothers lips, lungs empty but mouths wanting more, and Eren’s breath all but caressed my mouth as he broke the contact, the sound of his next weak words sending shivers down my spine. “Jean….” His lips were just slightly swollen, and eyes dazed and, “wha...what’s going—” Fuck, he could be calling me a horseface right now and I would be turned on. I grabbed his wrist, taking one last glance around, before spotting an empty room and pulling us both in. I looked around again, just to be safe, then finally closed and locked the door. “Jean, what are you—" “Fuck, I just—” I smashed my mouth against his again, unable to hold myself back anymore, while I ran my hands up from his body, holding his face to mine. I could feel him groan into me as his own hand dug into my shirt, pulling us together and closing that final distance. We didn’t have maneuver gear on, due to the certain chores we had for the day, and god if I was ever happy about not being ready for a Titan attack, now would be that time. My hands tangled in the cloth of his bare shirt as I took him by his tongue, entering his mouth eagerly. He complied just as hungrily as he tried to match the dance of my tongue past his lips, but ended up melting weakly instead. For once almost immediately leaving me to dominate. God the heat that raced down my body when he let me take the lead. I ran my hands down his frame slowly, making my way to the hem of his shirt, before ripping the shirt off and over him, pleased to see his tan, bare chest underneath. It was flat, nothing like Mikasa, or any of the other girls, but fuck was it a million times more attractive. My mouth found his neck, and I roughly sucked at his skin, tongue tracing slow lines along it. Fuck he even tasted amazing. I continued, not bothering to be careful about leaving marks as my hands began to unbuckle his belt, then entered the now-loose fabric of his pants from behind and grabbed his ass. He let out a breathy moan against my ear as I squeezed, pulling him to me. Our lips reunited when his hands started to tug on my own clothes, undoing the buttons as fast as he could without fumbling. He pushed the fabric open, revealing my chest, and ran his hands across my skin, taking his time to feel everywhere he could, running over the grooves and different edges, pushing against the sensitive pink circles of flesh that caused me to release his mouth with a groan. “Jean…” his voice was breathy, and when I met his eyes they were half-lidded and overrun with want. I imagined that I probably looked the same. I glanced around sharply, finding a bed that looked like it hadn’t been used in ages, and pulled him there, thankful that the one room I happened to choose didn’t just have a fucking table inside. He fell back against the bed, catching himself and sitting on the edge, while I stood before him and stripped off the rest of my shirt, and then my pants, and leaned close over him, taking him between my hands and kissing him long and hard. His face was bright red when I released him again. I tugged off his pants until we were both in underwear and pushed him back against the bed, while I made my way over him. This time I met his lips softly, his arms making their way around my neck while I trailed my hands into his final piece of clothing and palmed his hard on. He yelped in surprise, despite the situation we were already in and somehow seemed to turn even redder. He tried to make a remark back, embarrassed and probably trying save his pride or some stupid shit (or at least from what I guessed, since that’s what I would have done), when I palmed down again and he lost all his words, his voice turning into a strangled moan. I curled my fingers around his length and pulled it out, the cold air making him gasp as I slowly began to drag my fingers up and down it. So, so slowly. It drove him mad, but I just sweetly trailed soft kisses from his neck up to his ear, then sucked on it, milking out a moan. I smirked. His ears were always really sensitive. “Jea-...n!” he groaned, his hips shaking as he tried his hardest not to move his lower half up to meet my hand, and failed miserably. He pushed his hand south, straight into my own boxers as if to return the favor and dragged his fingers roughly across my cock. The sudden contact caused me to hiss inwardly, falling into the crook of his neck as he worked my hard on, his smooth fingers dragging against my skin and sending sparks throughout my lower body. “w-wait…” I managed, halting my own hand against his dick, and he stopped at that, his hand resting awkwardly where it had been. “What— did I do something wrong, or—” “No, no, fuck, I just… Can we…” I choked. Fuck this was so hard to ask. “Can we have sex?” I could see his eyes widen. “I mean, we’ve done fingers before, so it shouldn’t hurt if we just prepare you and—” “do it…” “what—” “Fuck, Jean. You don’t... have to ask…” I highly doubted that last part somewhere in my mind, but his face was so impossibly red that I couldn’t have cared less. I slid off his boxers, his cock now laying high in the air, then went to slide my hands around his waist when he stopped them, eyes lowering down to my own pair. “Yours too…” he breathed, his voice groggy and god did it sound sexy. I nodded weakly and we pulled off my boxers, releasing my own cock, before I was able to move back to his waist and pull him to me. Fuck his skin was so soft. He shifted over onto his knees, his ass in the air and I leaned over to press my hands against his cheeks, grabbing a handful a taunt squishy - goddamn perfect - flesh. I brought by mouth to the hole, my two thumbs pressing around it just slightly, massaging the tight skin leading inside. “Fuck, what are you—!” Eren’s speech cut sharply as he moaned while I tongued his entrance. “don’t thats—ah, that’s—” He writhed into the sheets, fingers tight in the fabric and panting hard as I fucked his hole with my tongue. “..t’s…dir...ty, ah—” I soon added fingers into the mix, one by one, pressing in and stretching until he was begging for me to move faster. Removing my tongue, as my fingers sank in deep instead. “Please—I’m ready now, just—…” I swallowed down a groan, the pressure in my lower half growing uncomfortable and begging to comply with his words, to get inside him now, but I also wanted to do this right. “You’ll have to turn over then...” “Just put it in like that—” “No— I want to be facing you.” I cut him off, possibly sounding more demanding, and even more desperate, than I meant to. I helped turn him over so he was laying flat on his back now, versus just viewing him from behind, and now could see every detail of his face, the line of his ass up to his cock, the precum spilling over his tip. His eyes. “B-but this position—” “Here, do this...” I guided his body, parting his legs to fit around my waist. He seemed to ease into the position, a light blush settling on his tan skin. He tried to shifted closer, his cock brushing against mine as I leaned over him, and our breaths both hitched, starting to grow impatient. “You sure you’re ready?” I breathed, my arms keeping me just a few inches above him. His eyes stared into mine, lips parted as his tongue dragged against his bottom one and he shook his head groggily. I lined my tip up against his entrance, watching his face for signs of anything, when I slowly pushed in. Immediately he closed his eyes, biting his lower lip to swallow a groan and fuck was he so tight, so fucking tight, and warm and— I entered at a gradual pace, hoping to get him to adjust while I nipped at his neck, needing to taste his skin. My breathing became ragged, his insides feeling like nothing I’ve ever felt before, and god was he so fucking hot. So beautiful. So… I stopped when I was all the way in, giving us both some time before slowly pushing out again and then back in. We went slowly. So, so goddamn slowly. It was agonizing and yet the most incredible sensation. I could feel the pleasure build in pit of my stomach, and god with the sounds he was making he had to be feeling it too. We took it a little faster once fully adjusted, grinding into one another as our voices built and built, louder and louder. He looked so beautiful. Tears edged in his eyes as they looked up at me, the brightest blue-green I’ve seen, closing only as we dragged our lips against each others, both eating up the others sounds. I trailed my hands down his body, feeling everywhere. My tongue trailing everywhere. I couldn’t get enough, I needed him so badly. “God, you’re so hot, so...fucking hot, so gorgeous, so…” streamless curses curled off my tongue, compliments endlessly being repeated as if my life depended on it. Sweet nothings whispered between breathless gasps and sweat and past skin, just barely audible in the collective noise of our bodies and moans. “So... beautiful, fuck, you’re stunnin..g, so, so st—” “J-jean!!” his voice was on the edge of a shout, jumping an octave higher as he repeated my name in whines. “Jean… so close… Jean, so close… please, I’m going to—” “M-me too, ahh” I could feel the pressure building up, both of us clinging to the other—doing anything to pull us closer, to keep the others heat connected to us. I grabbed his cock, pumping it fast as we thrusted hard—and god this wasn’t even fucking anymore, this was damn as hell making love, and that thought was just about enough to pull me over the edge. He gasped in my mouth and I could hear the desperation in his voice as he shuddered up against me, shouting curses while he came in my hand, and somewhere, shouts of his name took up the air as I also came, shooting inside him before collapsing onto his body. We laid there like that for a few very long moments while trying to regain our breaths, my head resting in his shoulder and arms draped across his sides. Our bodies were sticky, sheeted with sweat and the stench of sex, and limbs impossibly tangled together, but neither of us tried to move away. It was nothing like I would have imagined weeks ago. It wasn’t violent, or angry, or about competition. It was sweet and gentle, rough maybe, but with a burning passion building up to our climax. And I could still feel myself shaking in it’s wake. It was a few more long moments before one of us finally broke the silence. “what… was that?” Eren whispered. It was so quiet that if It weren’t for how close we were laying, I might not have even heard it. “What was what?” I finally responded, shifting my body to face him, my elbow holding my body up as my fingers played with the ends of his hair. “That-... That meaningful sex, that “fucking” we just did—”   I could see the fury in his eyes, tears beginning to form.  “Why…Why did you do it?”  I was up before I even realized I had moved, holding myself above him. A panic began to settle in my stomach, my throat tight in knots. “Eren, no, shit… I—” Fuck- I never told him, I completely forgot to even say that I— “Was it to make fun of me—” “No! Fuck…” “Then fucking explain—” he hid his face behind his eyes, crying now. And I sat watching him for a few moments, letting the silence of his tears fill the air between us. I let him have a few more moments to himself, before gently, gently grabbing his wrists and pulling them away from his face. “You had to know why…—” “No!” He lashed, eyes pained but wanting more, and it made my heart pound in my chest. “that’s impossible, there was no way you’d—” He kept fighting it, eyes baring into mine, and fuck if there was no way I didn’t want him to look at me with the goddamn perfect blue-green orbs that beat even the damn sky for the rest of my fucking life. “Eren… I—” “No—don’t fucking say it! Don’t lie—” his voice was building, growing louder with each word as he tried to drain out my voice. “—you hate me, you’ve said it before, you—” he tried to hide his face again, hands now thrashing in my wrists and eyes avoiding mine. “I love you!” I practically scream it at him, his wrists tight in my hands, and he stills immediately, leaving me to clutch his arms as I hover over him. “fuck… I love you…” I don’t know why it took me so long to realize those three words, but as soon as they left my mouth it was like an enormous weight was lifted off my shoulders. I wanted to say it again, and again. To never stop, but I stayed quiet, too nervous to say anything more. After a long silence, I finally manage to speak, mouth dry and nerves bubbling in my stomach. “What about you…?” At that Eren finally lets out the rest of the emotion he was trying so hard to hold back. He cries hard, tears streaming down his flushed cheeks while he sobbed and god he looked beautiful. “fucking… idiot. Of course I love you too…” I could feel a smile spread across my face. His eyes were angry, yet at the same time were probably the softest I’ve seen them in my entire life. Longing and disbelief, and pure happiness laced deep past the tears that fell. And while he sobbed, I couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. “Shit, I’ve got it bad…” “What?” “Nothing, just... thinking how much I love you…” He flushed red, eyes wide past the dampness of his cheeks then let out a short laugh as well, his voice tired and tears beginning to come to a stop. “Jeez, could you be any cheesier?” “Probably” I smirked. He rolled his eyes at that, spinning back to retort, then stopped. Our faces were close, and mouths both in hesitant smiles, as I lowered myself to him. And he reached up. “Sorry...that I... came inside you…” I whispered. “And… possibly just ruined the moment…” “You’re a fucking dumbass, you know that…” I could feel his lips twitch into smile. His breath was hot on my lips as we searched each others eyes once more, looking over the others face, before we closed the distance. Eyes gently shutting. His lips were soft, and both of us moved slowly. Not so much in a hurry as we just wanted to feel the other against ourselves. To taste him and to touch him, to show him everything you felt inside, and to feel everything he did as well. To know every sweet arch of his mouth, and how it fit so perfectly against yours. And god if that wasn’t the most amazing kiss I’d ever had in my entire life, I’d have died too soon. End Notes Because this is super old, and doesnt feel like my style anymore im orphaning this work. May rewrite sometime in the future and repost on my account, so those who have this saved and know my pseud, youll know where to find it. if not then at least this work is still on the web, instead of deleted. Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!