Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/595998.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      Multi, F/M, M/M
  Fandom:
      The_Avengers_(2012), The_Avengers_-_Ambiguous_Fandom, Thor_-_All_Media
      Types
  Relationship:
      Loki/Thor, Clint_Barton/Natasha_Romanov, Steve_Rogers/Tony_Stark, past
      Loki/OMC
  Character:
      Loki_(Marvel), Thor_(Marvel), Tony_Stark, Steve_Rogers, Clint_Barton,
      Natasha_Romanov, Bruce_Banner, Farbauti, Laufey, Odin_(Marvel), Frigga_
      (Marvel)
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_High_School, Work_In_Progress, Thor_is_in_love, Thor
      is_also_a_stalker, These_two_things_are_related, Mpreg, Previous_mpreg,
      Future_Mpreg, Thor_is_Oblivious, Loki_is_the_sexy_new_kid, Infatuation,
      Trust_Issues, Evil_ex-boyfriends, Anal_Sex, Mutual_Masturbation,
      Lactation_Kink, Breastfeeding, birth_scene, Thor_has_to_grow_up_and_be
      responsible, Angst, It's_hard_being_a_teenager, Teenage_Pregnancy
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-12-17 Updated: 2016-07-19 Chapters: 23/? Words: 146726
****** First Dates and Diapers: A Tale of Teenage Angst (and Babies) ******
by wicked_writings
Summary
     Thor knows everyone in his hometown. He doesn't, however, know the
     rather sexy new kid. Thor's pants threaten to spontaneously combust
     when he discovers this delectable new (distant) neighbour. Problem
     is, the new guy seems awfully wary... and appears to be hiding a
     rather pertinent secret.
Notes
     Hi folks!
     Why yes, I do have a mpreg kink, and yes, that involves Loki.... so
     here's another one! (I need help). Please note, this is very much a
     work in progress, but as you can probably tell from the tags I have a
     clear idea of where this is heading and what this will encompass. If
     you don't like having to wait for new chapters to be uploaded, I
     suggest that it might be easier to wait until the fic is complete
     (warning: I have no idea how long this will be!).
     There is underage sex in this fic. Please note all characters are at
     least 15 when all naughtiness takes place though. I wanted this to be
     a high school fic so have tried to keep the ages within the
     boundaries of school years. Also, I may be screwing completely with
     school years, as I wanted Thor and Loki in the same year, so I have
     'bumped' Loki up one.
     And on that note... I am from New Zealand and our high schools are
     vastly different to the States. I have tried to do the best I can but
     if you see a glaring error please let me know so I can fix it - trust
     me, I know how annoying it is to see a silly mistake in a fic that
     takes you right out of it because you know it's impossible/totally
     outrageous :)
***** Chapter 1 *****
When pressed, Thor cannot profess to an undying love for his home town. It's
familiar, it's home, after all, but there never seemed to be anything special
or unique about where he grew up. It's not especially small, not especially
big. Just somewhere in the middle – mediocre, really, which seems to sum it all
up rather well. There's not much he doesn't know about the place either. Having
spent the better part of his nearly 18 years roaming its streets and
surrounding woodlands he has a nearly impeccable knowledge of his town and the
people that inhabit it.
There are no serial killers around here, no lotto winners or mysterious old men
who live in mysterious old houses on hills. There's nothing to make it any
different from any other town that one would pass as they drove from Wichita to
Des Moines. Or from Portland to Kansas City, for that matter. It's all terrible
mundune.
So perhaps that's why, when a new family moved into 2389 Anderson Road on a
sunny Friday afternoon, Thor knew all about it.
*
He heard about it, really, from Steve, who lived two doors down, who told
Natasha who told Thor. He was down there before the hour was out, hiding behind
a bush with Natasha and her boyfriend Clint, who thought the whole thing was
slightly stalkerish and refused to peer in the same direction as the rest of
them.
There was a big moving truck, of course, stuffed to the roof with beds and
tables and chairs and other assorted items that make up a household. There were
no coffins or skeletons though, which was disappointing.
There appeared to be a middle-aged couple, who looked drained and frustrated
with the whole experience, and an older woman who was perhaps one of their
mothers. Thor couldn't imagine still living with his mother when he was in his
forties. There didn't seem to be anyone around their age, which was a pity,
because that would mean a new face at school and something a little bit
different, just for a little while, until the novelty of a newcomer wore off.
They were just about ready to give up and head down to Steve's to badger him
for some food when Clint, who had been swearing up and down and on his pinkie
that he wasn't watching, spotted another person waiting in a car out front.
Natasha, who couldn't see the person from her angle, wouldn't shut up.
“What do you mean you can't see them? Is there someone in the car or not? Man
or woman? Girl or boy? Come on, Clint!”
“Fuck I dunno! Give me a minute here!”
In the end it was Thor who saw him first, stepping from the car on the way up
to the house. He seemed to be carrying something, but from the distance it was
hard to be sure exactly what. The boy appeared to be around their age, or
slightly younger, and he was thin, but not skinny – lean, perhaps. His hair was
long and black, a stark contrast to his alabaster skin. He didn't seem to be
interested in anything going on around him, easily ignoring the movers and
piles of furniture on the lawn. Even from far away Thor could see his features
were sharp but delicate, with razor cheekbones and dark, sultry eyes. He was
stunning.
“Thor?”
Thor leaned forward for a better view, whilst still trying to be covered by the
bush. He kept his eyes trained on the stranger, oblivious to anything else
around him. The boy walked up to his parents and handed his mother whatever he
held in his arms – a baby, so clearly his younger brother or sister then – and
only then turned to survey the mess that was his new front yard.
“Thor?” Natasha asked again.
Clint slapped the back of his head. “Yo, dude, stop drooling. It's
embarrassing.”
Thor turned to them suddenly, startled out of his reverie. He could feel his
cheeks begin to redden. “I was not drooling!”
“Oh yes you were,” said both his friends in unison, and Thor pouted before
running the back of his hand over his mouth.
“Was not.”
“Was too. He's hot, we get it. He's your type, we get it. Just, maybe, ya know,
not be so damn obvious about it next time?” Clint said, and behind him Natasha
started to giggle, her red curls bouncing as she tried to stifle her laughter.
“Don't know what you're talking about,” Thor muttered, and turned back to peer
through the bush again, hoping for another glimpse of the black-haired boy.
He was gone.
*
Thor had no reason to cycle down Anderson Road later that day, but he did
anyway. He slowed down past 2389 and pretended to be enjoying the view, not
that there was much of a view at that point in Anderson Road or anything. The
front yard was empty now, the moving trucks gone, and the disappointment of not
seeing the boy again sat like a rock in Thor's stomach.
*
He moped that evening, all through dinner and then afterwards too when his
mother asked him to wash up. He always had to be asked; never did it just
because he could and because his mother would appreciate it. It was an
inconvenient, tedious task when he could have been playing video games or
hanging out with his friends. Or, more rather, brooding about a certain black-
haired teen.
He thought about going over to Steve's on the thin pretense of asking for help
with his homework just so he could walk past that house again, but that'd never
work – Thor didn't exactly do his homework anyway. He wasn't close enough to
Steve to just go over there to hang either.
Thor sighed and put on the loudest, heaviest music he had instead.
*
The next day, Tony dragged him to the local burger joint with Clint, Tasha and
Steve. Even though the burgers were supreme and the fries out of this world,
there was only one thing on his mind. And it wasn't food.
“Maybe he'll start at our school.”
Tasha and Clint groaned. Steve just looked slightly bewildered, and Tony shot
glances at each person around the table, trying to figure out just what in the
hell Thor was talking about.
Tasha saw his confused look. “Thor's in lurrrrrvveeee!” she said, grinning.
“Thor drooled all over me,” Clint added, and went back to eating his burger.
“With who?” Tony asked Tasha, pissed off that he was out of the loop. He didn't
like being uninformed and ignorant to anything new going on. He was Tony-
fucking-Stark, for chrissakes.
She shrugged, and pinched a handful of fries from Clint's tray. “Some new kid.
Moved into Anderson Road the other day.”
“Oh him?” Steve said, contributing to the conversation for the first time since
they'd sat down.
“You know him?” Thor asked, sitting up so quickly he nearly knocked over Tony.
He stared at Steve, heart hammering in his chest. It wasn't fair, this feeling.
It made his stomach twist in knots and his hands sweat.
“Errr, not really. I saw them move in though. He went for a walk yesterday with
a baby in a stroller. Other than that, haven't seen him. They keep to
themselves.”
Thor deflated like a lead balloon and nearly collapsed into his fries.
“There, there,” Tasha murmured, patting him on the back like she was trying to
soothe a wounded dog. “You'll see him again, even if we have to infiltrate his
house with spy cameras.”
“You can do that?” Thor asked enthusiastically, picking himself up out of his
lunch.
She stopped petting him. “Umm, not really. I think it's illegal.”
“I could so do that!” Tony said, dropping his burger. “It shouldn't be hard to
smuggle them in, maybe in the newspaper or mail or we could dress Steve up as a
Boy Scout and send him round to sell bugged cookies.”
Steve looked scandalised.
“No, guys, seriously? Bugged cookies? Why doesn't Thor just wait until Monday
and see if this dude shows up? Instead of getting arrested for stalking or some
shit,” Clint pointed out.
“Wait til Monday?” Thor asked morosely. That was a whole day away! Two, when
you thought about it.
“Thor. Buddy. You'll live,” Clint insisted. “Anyway, he could be some deranged
maniac. Maybe that's why they moved here, cos he killed like 3 people or
something and they're hiding from the police.”
“No, he wouldn't do anything like that,” Thor said, and smiled, his eyes
looking far away in the distance. “He's too pretty.”
Tasha threw ketchup at him.
*
Sunday dragged out long and slow, and Thor valiently resisted every urge to
revisit Anderson Road. He gave up after lunch.
He borrowed the neighbour's dog and took him for a walk, up Anderson Road and
down the other side, and saw.... nothing. No cars in the driveway, curtains
pulled tight, no movement visible anywhere. It was all very depressing. He
invited himself to Steve's house and sat in his kitchen for an hour, looking
out the window towards 2389, until Steve kicked him out.
“You need help, Thor,” Steve said, and shut the door in his face.
*
Technically, Thor had a history test the next day, but he was too overcome with
nerves at the thought of maybe seeing him at school that all he could do was
flop on his bed and hug his pillow. It wasn't like he studied anyway.
His dreams that night were full of black hair and pale skin, a bright smile and
deep eyes, and when he woke Thor found he'd spoiled his sheets.
*
“You have the jitters,” Steve said to him as they stood around at school,
waiting for the first bell.
“I have the what?” Thor asked, hoping it wasn't contagious.
“The jitters!” Steve said, eyebrows raised. “You can't stand still and you're
jogging on the spot.”
“Yeah man,” Clint said, “get over it. Dreamboy might not even come here.”
Thor paled at the thought.
“Oh leave him alone,” Tony said. “He's infatuated. Nothing we can say is going
to disarm him. He's convinced that this guy is the love of his life, and who
are we to argue?” He smiled coyly at Steve, who tried awfully hard to stop the
red rising in his cheeks.
“Dreamboy? Him, you mean?” Natasha said casually, looking away from the group.
Thor followed her gaze and nearly fell over. There he was, walking through the
door, even more beautiful than Thor had remembered. His eyes were emerald
green, his skin pale and soft, dark hair gleaming in the light. It was true.
Thor was in love.
“Hmmmm,” Tony said appraisingly. “You know, I'm starting to get this
infatuation thing now. Not bad, Odinson, not bad at all...”
“You stay away from him!” Thor hissed, alarmed at the idea of Tony encroaching
on his territory.
“Hey, whoa there big fella,” Tony said quickly, hands up in a sign of
surrender. “He's cute, but I have my own Dreamboy.” He looked pointedly at
Steve, who looked as though he wanted the ground to swallow him up. Tasha
snorted.
Thor didn't listen, too preoccupied with something far more interesting, who
was currently waiting at the school office for his timetable. He carried a dark
green backpack, and wore black jeans, dark Doc Martins and a light green shirt
that hugged in all the right places. Thor hoped his dick wasn't going to give
away his current opinion on such an outfit.
“Do you think I should go over and offer to show him around?” Thor blurted out,
the desire to get closer almost overwhelming.
“Yes,” said Tasha.
“No,” said Steve.
Thor ignored both of them. “Look look he's coming our... oh.” He watched,
downcast, as one of the school secretaries came out of the office and walked
off with the school's newest asset, presumably to show him around. His heart
thunked depressingly in his chest and he groaned, much to Clint's disgust.
“Man up, Thor. You'll see him again. And that's the bell! Goodbye, seeya later,
good luck for your tests, see you later...” He said the last to Tasha and
pulled her in for a sloppy kiss, pulling away with her lipstick smeared on his
mouth.
“Gross, Clint,” Tony said cheerfully, and gave Steve a pat on the arse as he
headed for homeroom.
Steve ignored him. “Good luck, Thor,” he said seriously, before leaving in the
opposite direction to Tony.
“Yeah, good luck, dude. You'll see him around,” Tasha said, and mussed up his
hair before she left.
And then Thor was alone.
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Notes
     Wow! So, one, THANK YOU so much for all the kudos's and comments! I'm
     glad you guys like this premise just as much as me, it's pretty much
     taken over my brain! And two, huge apologies for the delay in getting
     the next chapter up - I went away for a week over xmas and apart from
     my phone I had no net access. I did, however, manage to write about
     10,000 words on this so the next chapter shouldn't be too far away :
     ).
     Also - I realised the other day that I might not have made the
     relationship between Tony and Steve particularly clear. Essentially,
     they are not currently together, just have rather impressive crushes
     on each other (not that Steve would admit it). They'll be getting
     together properly soon, once Steve gets his act together ;)
Thor sulked through his first two periods of class. He kept waiting for the
dark-haired boy to walk through the door, but to his total and utter
disappointment neither Geography nor Economics was improved by the appearance
of his elusive new crush. He settled for tuning out the teacher and daydreaming
about those gorgeous green eyes instead.
Their communal study period was spent outside in the sun, thanks to a generous
teacher, but Thor found it hard to be cheerful whilst he knew that the boy was
wandering about the school somewhere and it wasn't anywhere near him. He tried
to convince Tasha to walk around the school with him in hopes of accidentally
bumping into him, but the look he got in return was enough to disregard that
option. He went back to sulking.
“Oh cheer up Thor, you look like someone just ran over your cat,” Clint said,
throwing a paper plane at him.
“I don't have a cat.”
“Thor, it's a saying.”
“I don't care.”
“What's your problem?” Tony asked, from beside Steve. He had a book on
Thermonuclear Physics in one hand and a grasp on Steve's shirt in the other.
Steve pretended not to notice.
“Lover boy,” Tasha said, before Thor could open his mouth. “He's not in any of
Thor's classes so far and Thor is, shall we say, a little bit disappointed.”
“Oh, him,” Steve said, carefully detangling Tony's hand from his shirt. “He's
in my Classics class.”
Thor floundered like a fish. “I.... what?”
“Yeah. Second period.”
Thor's mouth was open but nothing came out. There was so much to say, to ask,
but his brain had ground to a halt and he couldn't think past why the fuck did
I not take Classics this year?
Clint snorted in amusement. “Figures. Nice one. What's he like?”
Steve shrugged. “Quiet. Didn't really say anything. Sat next to me, though.”
Thor wanted to kill something. Anything. With his bare hands.
“Thor, you are not to kill Steve,” Tasha said, as if she could read his mind,
and settled a quiet hand on his shoulder.
Steve looked startled at the prospect, while Tony looked a little alarmed and
tried to shuffle in front of his friend.
“Please don't touch him, he's too young and pretty to die!” Tony said, raising
his hands in defence. Steve just picked him up and put him back where he came
from.
“His name is Loki, that's all I found out,” Steve said, rolling his eyes at
Tony, who was moping next to him.
“Loki?” Clint asked, one dubious eyebrow raised. “Who the fuck names their kid
Loki?”
“Well, let's face it, 'Thor' isn't much better, is it? Sorry, Thor,” Tasha
said, throwing a sympathetic glance his way.
Thor just grunted. He liked his name. He liked 'Loki', too. A lot.
“Who cares about his name. Where the hell did he come from and why is he
starting in the middle of the semester?” Clint asked, curious.
Steve shrugged. “No idea. Like I said, he didn't say much. Look. Thor, at least
he's in our year. Means he might have some classes with you, right?” he pointed
out, as if he wanted Loki to appear in Thor's next class just so Thor would
shut up.
“I hope so,” Thor said morosely. “I hope so.”
*
He wasn't in Biology. Thor resisted the urge to throw his gutted frog at the
teacher.
*
He met the others in the cafeteria for lunch. Today was spaghetti, and by the
time he joined the others at their table Clint already had red sauce splattered
down his front like blood, Tony had stolen Steve's napkin and was using it to
wipe his book free of excess lunch, and Tasha's chin was as red as her hair.
“You all look ridiculous.”
Steve looked offended, although that was probably because out of all of them,
he was the only one who actually knew how to eat spaghetti.
“Fuck you too,” said Tony, and he gave the dirty napkin back to Steve.
“No luck then?” Tasha asked sympathetically. Thor sat next to her with a thud.
“No,” he said, bottom lip sticking out, and suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore.
He pushed the pasta around his plate with his fork.
“You could always gate-crash Steve's Classic class,” Clint said around a
mouthful of pasta.
“I'm still willing to plant bugs in his house,” Tony said, and shuffled a
little closer to Steve.
“You're all stalkers,” Steve said, and didn't bother to move away from Tony.
Thor sighed. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. He should have seen Loki
again before now. Maybe helped him find his way around the school, or sat next
to him in one of his classes. Instead, he was playing with pasta and hoping to
God things were going to get better. He had an ache in his chest that had
nothing to do with his upcoming History test and it was starting to hurt.
“Speaking of the devil...” Clint muttered, and thrust a pasta-laden fork in the
direction of the serving area. “Guess who's getting lunch.”
Thor had always been told that staring was rude, but he turned around anyway,
eyes searching for a glossy mat of black hair among the crowds that littered
the cafeteria. Loki had just paid for his lunch and was picking up cutlery and
napkins, and even across the distance something made Thor's heart thunk
longingly in his chest. He was beautiful.
“Here, buck over, will you?” Steve asked Tony, who froze and clutched his tray.
“No,” Tony said. “Come this way instead.”
“Fine,” Steve sighed, giving up, and slid two feet over in Tony's direction
until there was a space at the table where he'd been sitting.
Thor was barely conscious of this, because Loki was walking, looking for a seat
in the awkward way new students always did, and he was just as beautiful moving
as he was standing still.
“Hey, Loki!” Steve called out, and it was Thor's turn to freeze.
He watched as Loki stopped, brow furrowed in confusion.
“Loki, come here,” Steve said, and patted the now empty seat next to him.
Thor knew it, he was going to die. Steve was asking Loki to sit with them so
casually, but Steve had nothing vested in this apart from being nice to a new
kid. Thor – Thor was in love, and now Loki was going to be three feet away from
him, directly across the table, no less. He hoped to God he had nothing on his
face. Tasha hurriedly wiped her chin with someone else's napkin.
“Thanks,” Loki said, shyly, and something inside Thor curled up and trembled at
the sound of his voice. Angelic, really, he thought. He couldn't stop staring
as Loki laid his tray on the table and sat down, all black hair and alabaster
skin and green eyes. Clint elbowed him in the side and Thor startled and
dropped his gaze to his spaghetti.
“Loki, this is Tony, Tasha, Clint, and Thor,” Steve said, introducing them all
in turn, and when he said Thor's name Thor was so nervous he tried to smile and
talk at the same time and got all mixed up and stuttered. Tony snorted into his
spaghetti and got red sauce all over his book again.
Loki was pretty, Loki was gorgeous, he was perfect, and even when Thor made a
complete and utter fool of himself he smiled gently and suddenly those deep
green eyes were looking right at him. Thor never wanted to see anything else
ever again.
Steve was talking again. “How's your first day been so far?” As far as
questions go, it was boring and it was safe, but at least Steve had control of
his voice and mouth muscles, which was at least far better than how Thor was
going.
Loki looked embarrassed to have all eyes on him. “Uh, good, I guess. I like it
here,” he said simply, and Thor noticed he was pushing his pasta around on his
plate instead of eating it, just like him.
“Where are you from?” Clint asked, eagle eyes narrowed.
“Anchorage.”
“Alaska?” Tony asked, and dropped his fork. Red blotches grew on Steve's shirt,
but he didn't notice.
“Yeah,” Loki answered. “Um, my dad got a transfer.” He seemed nervous, but Thor
reckoned he'd be too if he was getting the third degree from people he'd never
met.
“Well, could have been worse,” Tasha pointed out. “Could have been the arse end
of nowhere.”
Loki chuckled, although it seemed more a giggle, and it was so cute Thor almost
sighed with happiness.
“And they made you start in the middle of the semester?” Steve asked,
sympathetic. “That's tough.”
“Yeah, well, that's my dad for you,” Loki said, and Thor longed to reach across
the table to brush a lock of black hair over his ear. He didn't want the bell
to ring, he wanted to stay there forever, just looking.
“Thor, are you actually eating that, or just playing with it?” Clint asked,
frustrated, and Thor felt his cheeks blush as Loki looked at him.
“Imm not hungry,” Thor mumbled, and pushed the tray towards the end of the
table, where Clint sat. It was enthusiastically received. Thor felt sick just
watching him.
When he turned his gaze away from Clint, he found Loki still looking at him,
and for a moment Thor felt nervous, scrutinised, but then Loki smiled, just
briefly, and Thor nearly fell off his chair.
Steve rescued him by asking another question. “I think I saw you moving into
Anderson Road the other day.” Thankfully, he didn't mention that three of them
were staked out in a bush for an hour.
Loki nodded, and pushed away his spaghetti. Clint eyed it hungrily. “Yeah. It's
alright.”
Steve smiled. “I live two doors down and across the road.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, you ever need anything, someone's always home.”
Loki smiled, and it was so beautiful Thor almost drooled over his hand again.
“Thanks. That's really nice of you.”
“No worries,” Steve said, and smiled back, and suddenly Thor wanted to kill
Steve again. Tony looked just as murderous.
*
The rest of lunch passed in a haze. Thor spent most of his time looking at
Loki, who spent most of his time looking at Steve. Thor picked apart his
napkin, piece by tiny piece until the floor under his feet was littered with
little bits of fluff.
He barely heard the bell ring and Tasha had to haul him up from his seat. “Come
on, Thor, you idiot,” she said, but it was missing its usual venom.
He stumbled to Science and sat there numbly, still struck by the depth of
Loki's green eyes and the way he smiled at Steve.
*
Last period of the day was History, and the test that Thor hadn't studied for.
His stomach was tied in knots, and his head felt heavy. He just wanted to go
home and fall into bed and not emerge for the next century, at least.
“Take a seat dear, there's a spare one next to Thor.”
He perked up at the sound of his name, and there he was, standing awkwardly
next to his teacher, who had a finger pointed right at him. Loki made his way
down the row of seats and Thor swallowed the sudden lump in his throat and
tried not to appear as though he was 2 seconds from jumping up and praising the
gods.
“Hi,” Loki said quietly, and sat down next to him. Thor just stared, until
something poked him in the brainpan and he remembered his manners.
“Hi Loki,” Thor said in reply, and was grateful he didn't say anything stupid.
Again.
He was relieved from making further conversation by the teacher, who sat a
textbook down on Loki's desk.
“Now, the others have a test, but you are excused, of course. Why don't you use
the time to have a look through our class textbook and see what we've already
studied. We're up to chapter 5,” she said with a smile, and flounced back up
the aisle.
Loki just stared down at the thick textbook with a small hint of dismay.
“It's not too bad, really,” Thor said. “Just skim the chapter headings and read
the Wikipedia entries on them instead.”
Loki turned to stare at him.
“Hey, it's worked for me so far,” Thor said in defence, kicking himself for
making Loki think he was stupid.
He nearly cried with joy when Loki stifled a laugh and smiled back.
*
Thor blundered his way through the test with his usual nonchalence. He was
pretty sure he got everything on the crossing of the Mayflower and most on King
Philip's War. He skipped the question on the First Great Awakening entirely.
When he was sure it was safe he snuck glances sideways at Loki, who was
engrossed in the section in their textbook about the Great Depression. His
black hair hung down like a curtain around his face, shimmering in the
artificial light from above. Thor's eyes traced the delicate lines of Loki's
fingers until the teacher called time up.
*
“How was it?” Loki asked, as the teacher dismissed them.
“Could have been better,” Thor said. “What do you know about the Mayflower?” he
asked.
“Not much,” Loki said, raising an eyebrow. “I'm actually from Norway.”
That stopped Thor in his tracks. “Really? My parents are from Oslo. I was born
here, though.”
“I was born in Oslo,” Loki said, and smiled.
Thor danced a little, inside. “Why did you move to Alaska then?”
“My dad's job. We moved when I was 7.”
Thor pulled on his jacket and slowly moved with Loki outside. “Do you miss
Norway?”
“Yeah, I do. Sometimes. We go back every year though, so it's not too bad.”
“Wow. I've never been,” Thor said, regretfully. He kept hoping his dad would
take him on one of his business trips to Norway, but things always came up.
Mainly school.
“You should. It's beautiful,” Loki said wistfully, and Thor noticed that Loki
suddenly seemed far away. He wondered just how much Loki actually wanted to be
in America.
“Hey, um,” Thor started, suddenly feeling brave, “do you want to get something
to eat? There's a great burger place not far from here.”
Loki stopped, and Thor felt like sinking into the ground. “I would love to...
but I'm so sorry, I promised Steve I'd walk home with him and I have to be home
straight away.”
Thor burned, inside and out, and not even the regret he could see on Loki's
face stopped him from thinking homicidal thoughts about Steve. “No worries,” he
stammered out. “Another time then?” he said, and gave Loki a small smile before
he felt like he had to get the fuck out of there. He didn't wait for Loki's
response as he turned and fled.
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Notes
     Sorry for the long wait! :O and THANK YOU everyone for the amazing
     kudos and comments - I'm very sorry that I don't have time to reply
     to all of them but I love that so many people love this plot and
     storyline as much as I do! It has virtually taken over my head and I
     have had so many ideas and plotlines for it that I'm not sure I can
     even get them all to fit :O.
Thor felt sick all that afternoon and night. He declined dinner, settling
instead for laying on his bed and staring at the ceiling. Thoughts of how he
could have done things differently swirled around his head, and he felt he'd
blown the only chance he might ever get.
At around 3 in the morning, Thor pulled his pillow over his head and tried to
suffocate himself to sleep.
*
The sky was gray and overcast the next morning, which seemed to fit his mood
perfectly. He walked to school by himself, thinking about maybe ditching and
going to the woods to wallow amongst the trees. That never worked though,
because the school always called his mother, and then he had to endure a
lengthy sermon about safety and dedication to school work.
His stomach roiled even more at the thought.
Tasha and Clint were waiting by the gate, and it wasn't long before Tony pulled
up in the sportscar his father had bought for his 16th birthday. He was alone,
which was strange.
“Where's Steve?” Tasha asked, because Tony usually picked Steve up in the
mornings.
Tony scowled, his face as thunderous as the clouds above. “Walking with Loki.”
He spat Loki's name as if it were mud, and Thor's stomach clenched in on
itself. He felt like he needed to puke. This wasn't going the way Thor hoped it
would at all.
He sat with the others while they waited. Clint and Tasha chatted to each other
about football but he and Tony were too subdued to talk. Thor wasn't sure what
he wanted – he wanted to see Loki again, maybe talk to him, but he didn't want
to see Loki with Steve. Jealousy burned inside him at the thought.
Thor was so lost in his thoughts that it wasn't until Clint nudged him with his
foot that he realised that Steve and Loki had joined them. Steve was talking to
Tasha but Loki was silent, just standing there. He was wearing a black t-shirt
but the same jeans and Docs as he wore yesterday. He looked wonderful.
“Morning, Loki,” Thor said, hoping to god Loki wasn't hung up on him walking
away yesterday. To his utter delight, Loki smiled at him.
“Good morning, Thor,” he said, and in that moment he might have been the only
person left in existence.
The bell rung before Thor could say anything else, but Loki gave him another
smile and a small wave before he had to leave for homeroom. Tasha had to thump
Thor between the shoulderblades to remind him to move.
*
Thor had History second period that day, and he fidgeted all through Economics
in first. Once he was seated in History he kept the seat next to him free by
glaring at anyone who dared tried to sit there. Thankfully, Loki wasn't late
and seemed relieved to see Thor already there, and a spare seat next to him.
Thor did his best to make it look like it was by accident, not design.
“Thanks,” Loki said, and sat down hurriedly.
“Did you read your textbook?” Thor asked, a smile at the corner of his mouth.
“Ahhh...” Loki looked for a second like he was going to say 'yes', but then
gave Thor a knowing grin and said, “Not at all.”
They laughed, and something in Thor's chest eased. Loki didn't hate him, which
he was immensely thankful for – he didn't know if he'd be able to stand it if
that happened. And Loki seemed cool. Always useful and welcome when one met the
crush that inhabited their dreams.
*
He walked with Loki outside after the bell rung, somewhat giddy that he could
even do this, because he'd had horrible thoughts that after originally seeing
Loki, he'd never see him again and be depressed for the rest of his life and
end up living alone with cats. Black haired cats with green eyes.
He swallowed the urge to giggle with happiness and aimed for his most
masculine, aloof I'm not actually in love with you at all look. He studied his
reflection in the window of a classroom as they passed and thought he'd done a
reasonably good job, considering everything inside of him was just telling him
to jump on Loki, drag him to the nearest bush and do something really rather
naughty.
Tasha would never forgive him.
They met up with the others under a tree by the field, one of their usual spots
for their study period when it wasn't previously inhabited by a hoard of
robotic sophomores swapping dangerous and sometimes illegal substances. Clint
and Tasha were practically sitting in each other laps and Tony and Steve were
propped up against the tree trunk. Bruce was there too, one of Tony's science
buddies, who came out of the laboratory every now and again for a bit of fresh
air.
Thor could practically see the smile on Tony's face fade as he spotted them
coming. He hoped to god Loki hadn't noticed.
“Loki!” Steve called, his All-American grin splitting his All-American face.
Thor had never hated apple pie so much as he did in that moment. He felt
himself falter as suddenly Loki's attentions turned from him to Steve. It was
not a nice feeling and his stomach started to turn.
“Hi Steve,” Loki said back, though Thor could have sworn, just for a second,
that it sounded slightly forced. His poor stomach perked up a bit.
“Do you want a seat?” Steve asked, as if Thor didn't exist, and patted the
space between him and Tony, who did not look impressed. If glares could kill,
Loki would have been a pile of dust.
Thor felt empty, like all the good stuff had been taken out of him. He stood
and waited for Loki to move, away from him and towards Steve. Why did it always
have to be this way?
But beside him, Loki didn't move. “Ah, it's ok Steve, thanks. I promised Thor
I'd sit with him. Besides, I don't think there's much room.”
Fireworks were going off in Thor's head. Catherine wheels were doing cartwheels
in his stomach. Big sparkly flares loaded with glitter were exploding on his
skin. He closed his mouth before the happiness could escape and do something
embarrassing to his voice.
Steve looked a little taken aback, but Loki had been awfully polite and
everyone knew (at least, deep down) that he was only trying to do the nice
thing. Loki, it seemed, was ready to branch out on his own.
Tony looked as pleased and relieved as Thor felt.
Nothing more was said, and to Thor's utter delight, Loki grasped the sleeve of
his jacket and encouraged him over to sit down. They sat, bumping knees on the
grass, and the sun had come out and was shining at last and Thor felt like the
happiest person alive.
*
History was usually dull, but the addition of Loki to the class suddenly made
it Thor's favourite subject. Unfortunately, it was also the only class he
shared with Loki. He made the most of it by trying to spend as much time before
and after the class with Loki, and at least the other teen seemed to enjoy it
as well.
Loki officially became part of their group by the end of his first week, when
Tony pinched his phone and programmed all their numbers in, much to his delight
(and Thor's). He hadn't really fallen in with any of the other people at their
school, although Thor had noticed that Loki attracted a lot of attention – not
just the attention any newcomer garnered but also the sort of attention that
made Thor's insides clench with possessiveness. He hadn't been the only one to
notice just how pretty Loki was. Girls stood in groups by their lockers and
giggled and tossed their hair when Loki passed, and Thor wanted to throw things
at them.
His only comfort was that Loki didn't seem to be interested in them at all. He
didn't even seem to notice how certain girls went out of their way to interact
with him. He was friendly, but never went further than polite conversation. It
was clearly frustrating for them, and Thor always thought about grinning
snidely at them like a 3 year old when their passes were rejected.
He also noticed that Steve seemed to have backed off in his growing friendship
with Loki, and wondered if Tasha had had a small word in his ear. He wasn't
going to ask. Steve, of course, kept a friendly and helpful relationship with
him, but he also went back to hitching rides with Tony in the mornings. Tony
came out of his sulk and started to be a bit nicer to Loki, and it didn't take
long for Thor to connect the dots. Or Loki, either, if the knowing smile on his
face was any indication.
By the time the weekend rolled around, Thor was confident enough to ask Loki
out for burgers again. He invited Clint and Tasha too, so it didn't seem like a
date – he wasn't that confident yet – but Loki seemed so pleased at the
invitation that he wondered if maybe he hadn't needed to ask the other two to
join them after all.
“I'd love to come,” Loki said, smiling brilliantly. Thor's stomach did a flip.
“I just have to make sure my parents are ok with it, but I'm sure it'll be
fine.”
“Awesome,” Thor said, with no small amount of relief. “You're gonna love it, I
swear!”
*
Loki took to the burgers like a cat to cream. He practically moaned with
pleasure at the first bite and Thor had to fight down the urge to imagine Loki
in the throes of sex. It was hard. Tasha kicked him under the table.
Thor couldn't blame him though. They really were that good. Even better was
when Clint decided, on the spur of the moment apparently, to take them for a
walk down by the river. He walked ahead with Tasha and Thor found himself with
Loki, who'd never even realised their little town had a river.
“It's pretty, isn't it?” Thor asked, only half referring to the water.
“Yeah,” Loki agreed. “It's not bad to look at, at all,” he said, and grinned at
Thor, who suddenly had the desire to take his hand. He chickened out at the
last second and settled instead for smiling back, and for the second time in a
week, everything else ceased to exist.
*
All things considered, he was looking forward to school resuming on Monday. He
stood outside the gates with Tony and Steve while Tasha and Clint made out
behind a tree and they pretended not to look. He was almost giddy, excited to
see Loki again, and ignored Steve and Tony while he peered down the road,
waiting.
Loki arrived just before the bell, trudging up the road with his bag slung over
his shoulder. Thor knew something was wrong even before he came up to them. He
looked exhausted – heavy bags under his eyes, hair limp and untended. He
managed a smile in Thor's direction but didn't say anything.
“Are you ok?” Thor asked, edging closer. His stomach clenched and he hoped Loki
was alright.
“Yeah,” Loki said, after a moment. He made the effort to speak clearly, but
looked like he was struggling.
“Did you get any sleep?” Steve asked, concerned.
Loki nodded, but then yawned so wide Thor swore he heard his jaw crack. “I got
a couple of hours, anyway.”
“'A few hours'?” Tony asked. “What were you doing?”
Loki looked at him warily. “Crying baby.”
“Oh, your baby sister?” Thor asked before he could think. Loki wasn't supposed
to know he was stalking his house the day he moved in.
Sure enough, Loki gave him a sharp look.
Whoops.
“Baby brother?” Clint asked, clearly mistaking the situation.
“Um, we were walking near your house when you moved in,” Thor made up quickly.
“We saw you with a baby.”
The colour drained from Loki's face so fast Thor thought he was going to faint.
He trembled on his feet and Thor wrapped an arm around his shoulders to hold
him up. He maintained a safe distance and resisted the urge to press close.
“Baby sister then?” Thor asked, trying desperately to get the conversation back
on track.
“Uh, yeah,” Loki said, and looked up at him with wide eyes. “She wasn't feeling
well. I stayed up with her.”
“Dude! Shouldn't that be your parents job?” Clint asked, having rejoined the
group with Tasha after they got chased out of their tree by a teacher.
Loki closed his eyes. “They work hard,” he said, and to Thor it sounded like
his voice was cracking. “They needed to sleep. And she likes me.”
“Is she feeling better today?” Tasha asked quickly, before Clint could say
anything else completely moronic.
Loki nodded, and Thor could feel his head on his arm. “She was sleeping when I
left.”
“You should be sleeping too,” Thor said quietly, sad and concerned that Loki
seemed so tired.
“I have to keep up with my schoolwork,” Loki said, sounding slightly panicked,
and Thor gripped him even harder.
“Loki, you can get notes from others in your classes. And the teacher can send
you work to make up for it. You should go home,” Tasha said, and Thor thought
she sounded remarkably like his mother. He would never say that to her face
though, or he'd probably wake up without his left testicle.
Loki just shook his head, and squeezed his eyes closed. Thor wanted desperately
to wrap him up in his arms entirely and not let go. The bell rung then, and the
others had to go, but Loki stayed. Thor did what he wanted to do the whole time
and pulled Loki up into a hug.
He felt Loki's face pressed into the juncture of his neck and shoulder and
felt, under his hands, Loki's chest tremble.
“You need to go home,” Thor said, and managed to imbue it with enough authority
that Loki didn't protest. “I can walk you,” he whispered, and when Loki nodded
into his shoulder Thor felt the sudden damp of tears.
*
He half walked, half carried Loki back to his house. It was a reasonable
distance and Thor was going to be late for school, no question, but he didn't
particularly care. Neither he nor Loki spoke on the way, but it was a
comfortable silence. They made their way back slowly and carefully, and Loki
kept his head on Thor's shoulder. Thor had never felt more needed.
He didn't want to let Loki go when they reached his doorstep. He rang the bell,
hoping someone was home. It took a few moments but he heard footsteps
approaching, and then the door opened. An older woman answered the door, too
old to be Loki's mother so he guessed his grandmother. She was clearly the
older lady that Thor had noticed the day Loki had moved in, and in her arms she
carried a baby.
“Yes, dear?” she asked, before spotting Loki hanging off Thor's shoulder. “Oh,
Loki,” she sighed. “I told you to stay home today.”
Loki gave a watery smile and reached out a trembling hand to the baby's head.
He stoked her face with a gentle finger, and for the moment he looked
completely peaceful.
“Come inside child, before you fall over,” she chided, and stood aside.
“Thanks, Thor,” Loki said quietly, turning to him. “I really appreciate it.”
“Not a problem,” Thor said, thankful that he could find words. He watched as
Loki went inside, hoping he would collapse into bed and sleep for the rest of
the day. Then he was alone, and there was nothing for it but to start the long
walk back to school.
***** Chapter 4 *****
Thor made his way as quickly as he could back to school. To his surprise, he
didn't get into trouble when he went to the office to report in for being late.
“It's alright,” said the lady behind the counter. “Loki's grandmother called
and said you helped him home. Just go to your class and hand your teacher this
note.”
Thor sighed with relief. The last thing he needed was another visit from his
mother and another lecture on how he was to behave at school. They were
embarrassing and no good for his image.
*
The day passed slowly without Loki to sweeten it up. He didn't have the
anticipation of maybe seeing Loki in between classes, or the pleasure of being
with him in breaks and in History. School was suddenly immensely dull again.
Remembering how concerned Loki was about catching up on his schoolwork, he
managed to wrangle a copy of his timetable from the school secretary and went
around all his teachers from that day to plead for the day's work. By the time
he was finished, he had a stack of papers 2 inches tall and the bell had long
gone. None of his friends had bothered to wait for him so he made his way back
to Loki's house alone.
He knocked cautiously on the door, hoping he didn't look as silly as he
suddenly felt. He wasn't even sure that Loki would appreciate a bundle of work
when he was clearly unwell.
The same lady from that morning answered the door. She looked surprised but
asked if she could help.
Thor held up the ream of papers. “Um, I have some work for Loki from his
classes today. His teachers gave them to me.”
She looked even more surprised. “Oh. Well, thank you, dear. He's sleeping at
the moment but I'll give them to him when he wakes up.” She smiled, which eased
the knot in Thor's stomach, and he managed a smile back and a wave before he
headed back down the path.
*
At 8.40pm that night, when Thor was attempting to tackle a mountain of
homework, his phone went off from where it sat on a pile of books. He couldn't
imagine who would be phoning him at that time of the day but he answered
anyway.
“Hello?”
“Thor?”
“Loki?!”
“Yeah,it's me. Tony put in your number for me.”
Thor made a mental note to buy Tony as many burgers as he wanted. Loki's voice
was heaven in his ear and he could feel his stomach tingle, if such a thing was
possible. He promptly abandoned his half-finished homework and collapsed on his
bed. “How are you? Are you ok?” he asked, sounding far too much like his
mother.
He could practically hear Loki smiling down the phone. “I'm way better, thanks
to you.”
He sounded better too, and something in Thor's chest eased. “Good. I'm pleased
you're better. How long did you sleep for?”
“Like 6 hours, or something ridiculous like that. Pretty sure I'm not going to
be able to sleep tonight now,” he said, and giggled down the phone. Thor had
never heard a nicer sound.
“God, just don't come to school tomorrow like you did today... Loki, you looked
so sick,” Thor admitted, almost in a whisper, and felt stupid the second he
had. He didn't want Loki thinking he was emotionally fucked.
There was a pause on the line, and Thor mentally hit himself in the head.
“I know, I'm sorry,” Loki said quietly, and something about his tone eased
Thor's mind. “I think my grandmother is still annoyed that I went to school in
the first place.”
“I'm surprised you even made it there, way that you were.”
“Me too,” Loki admitted. “Thank you, by the way, for the work. I really
appreciate it. I'm going through it at the moment.”
“Shouldn't you be resting?” Thor asked, concerned. He had no desire to see Loki
like that again, even if the hug was nice.
“I'm fine now, Thor. I was just tired. I swear.” Loki sounded like he
desperately wanted Thor to believe him, so he did.
“That's really good. Hey, how's the baby?”
“She's better, much better. She had a bit of a fever but it's come down and the
doctor thinks she'll be fine. She's been sleeping all day,” Loki said, his
voice brightening.
Thor thought about the look he saw on Loki's face when he saw the baby that
morning and figured his baby sister meant a lot to him. Loki sounded so happy
talking about her he decided to keep the conversation on the same track.
“That's great! What's her name?”
“Briana. It means strength,” Loki told him, and Thor wondered why she didn't
have a Norwegian name like her brother. “She's just over four months old and
she's getting bigger every day.”
Loki seemed completely enamoured by her, and it make Thor smile to hear him
speak of her. She was clearly very loved, and Thor could hear it in his voice.
He didn't have any brothers or sisters so it was hard for him to relate, but at
the same time he could understand how much Loki cared.
They spoke about Briana for almost 15 minutes, then about Tony and Steve and
were-they or weren't-they, and then about their mutual dislike for football and
their similar tastes in music. Before Thor knew it, they'd been on the phone
for over an hour and he hadn't even noticed the time pass. Talking to Loki was
intoxicating, like his very voice was a drug that made him feel like he was
flying. He drunk in everything that Loki had to say and committed it to memory,
because he wanted to know what Loki liked and didn't like, and what he thought
of the world and everything in it. Clearly Loki was passionate about music and
his baby sister, and though Thor knew only what Loki had told him of Briana, he
knew plenty about music, and just before Loki's mother made him disconnect he
promised to let Thor ravage his album collection. Thor snapped his phone shut
and just about sighed with pleasure from the wonderful phone call.
*
Thor was pleased to see Loki back the next day, looking well-rested and happy.
He wore a shirt that Thor hadn't seen on him before, a blood red shirt that
made his green eyes unusually dark. As usual, Thor couldn't keep his own eyes
off him.
He walked to class with Loki and asked about Briana, who had fully recovered
and screamed healthily for her breakfast that morning. Thor wondered how much
of Loki's bubbling happiness that morning was due to her getting better. He
didn't say anything about it, just smiled and waved goodbye to Loki when they
had to split to get to their different classes.
*
Later that day, Loki and Thor had History together. The teacher ended the class
a little early (much to Thor's relief, there really was a limit to how much one
could listen to a recitation of the English Royal bloodline) and handed back
their tests from the previous week. Of course, Loki didn't get one, but that
only made him more curious as to what Thor had gotten.
Having made little effort for the test, Thor was relieved to see he had at
least passed – by the bare minimum necessary. He pumped the air with his fist
and grinned happily at Loki, who looked a little confused at Thor's celebration
over such a terrible mark.
“Did I miss something? Does C stand for 'terrific' here or something?”
“Nope!” Thor said, still grinning. “But I passed Loki, I passed!”
Loki raised an eyebrow and didn't look as pleased as Thor felt. “How hard was
the test?”
Thor handed it over. Loki read through it slowly and carefully, and handed it
back with an inscrutable look on his face.
“What?” Thor asked, a little of his excitement deflating.
“Well... I mean, did you study for the test?” Loki asked, looking a bit
cautious.
Thor shrugged. “Not really. I kinda flicked through the textbook, but that's
it.”
Loki looked almost offended. “Thor, it's a test! What you get in your tests
throughout the year has a lot of bearing on your final mark. Don't you want an
A?”
It was Thor's turn to look bemused. “An A? Why would I want an A? All I need is
to pass!”
“Don't you want to go to college?” Loki asked.
Thor just stared. He hadn't thought about that. “Err, well, I'll be ok as long
as I get a C average, right?”
Loki sighed. “Thor, the marks you get in high school are what colleges look at
when you apply. None of the good colleges will accept someone with a C average!
You think Harvard takes anyone with less than a 4.0 GPA?”
Thor didn't have anything to say. He had never thought about any of this, just
assumed that passing was the most important thing. Loki was staring at him,
clearly expecting a reply, but Thor had nothing. The bell saved him, and he had
to run to make it to Economics on time, so he made his excuses and said
goodbye. As he made his way to his next class he decided that thinking about
ruining his future was depressing and shoved it all to the back of his mind.
*
Thankfully, Loki didn't say anything more about the test after that, but Thor
had a vague feeling that he was somewhat unimpressed by it, which made him a
bit uncomfortable and slightly ashamed he hadn't bothered to study for it. He
decided that if studying and making an effort impressed Loki, then he was going
to do it. No matter how much he hated the idea.
He didn't say anything to Loki though, just in case the idea backfired.
*
Wednesday was beautiful, hot and sunny with a glorious blue sky. It reminded
Thor of summer, of long days of freedom. There was one more summer, then one
more year of school, then... then his future was open, blank, and he still had
no idea of what he wanted to do. Loki seemed to have it all figured out, and of
that, Thor was a little jealous. Loki was smart, stupidly smart, and he didn't
draw that conclusion just from Loki kicking everyone else's arse at History –
Steve had a new contender for top of Classics, and Thor had heard from a few
others about how Loki was excelling in his classes.
He saw how hard Loki worked, how keen he was to catch up and score well on
their end of year exams. He guessed that Loki wanted to get into a good
University, study hard and graduate with a top degree – in what, he couldn't
guess, but he wouldn't be surprised if he chose Classics or English. From all
accounts, Loki was excellent at both.
That Wednesday during study period and lunch he was reading Cicero's Republic,
which Steve said wasn't even required for their paper, but Loki had insisted on
reading it anyway, to get an idea on the stormy atmosphere that pervaded Rome
just before the civil war that saw an end to the Roman Republic.
Thor was quite sure that some other guy had written Republic, and asked Loki if
the guy had changed his name or if it was a copy. Loki had laughed, but not
cruelly, and the soft smile he gave Thor made cartwheels flip in his stomach.
Loki shook his head gently. “Plato wrote his own Republic, many years before
Cicero wrote his. Plato was Greek, Cicero a Roman. Cicero wrote about the same
subjects though.”
“I've heard of Plato,” Thor muttered. “There's too fucking many of these old
guys writing books.”
Loki laughed then, really laughed, and it lit up his face like the sunrise.
Thor smiled, because he couldn't not. Loki was beautiful when he laughed, the
kind of beautiful that made Thor's insides clench. “They're interesting,” Loki
said, with that soft smile still on his face. “A bit much to take in at first,
but it makes you think. Even though it was so long ago, everything is still
relevant. It's amazing.”
Thor vowed to go out and buy every book on Plato he could find.
*
Friday, just after last bell, saw Loki and Thor huddled together by the school
gate. Everyone else had left, but with the weekend stretching out ahead of him,
Thor wanted to spend as much time with Loki as he could. It was almost painful
to think about 2 days without seeing him. He had a problem, and boy did he know
about it.
“Do you like it here so far?” Thor asked, both because he genuinely wanted to
know and because he desperately wanted to prolong the conversation as long as
he could.
Loki nodded, after a moment, and Thor hoped with all he had that he wasn't
lying. “Yeah, I do. I miss Anchorage, a bit, but there's not much left there
for me,” he said, almost darkly, and then looked away, as if he'd admitted much
more than he wanted to.
Thor didn't quite know what to say, because it seemed obvious that Loki hadn't
wanted to say what he had. In a bid to avoid an Awkward Conversation he skipped
to a subject that he knew Loki would appreciate.
“Hey, um, you heard the new Dream Theater album?”
Loki's face lit up, washing away the dark. “Are you kidding? It's amazing. I
wasn't sure about Mike Portnoy leaving, but they're still just as good. Do you
have it?”
Thor screwed his face up. “No... I keep meaning to, but I just haven't managed
to get it yet. I've heard On the Backs of Angels about a billion times though.”
“You don't have it?” Loki repeated. “I do. Wanna listen to it with me?”
Thor nearly fell over. He felt like the air had quit his lungs, and was vaguely
aware he probably looked like a stunned mullet. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, that sounds
awesome.” Better than awesome, he thought. Suddenly, his skin felt like it was
on fire.
Loki smiled, and Thor couldn't help it, he couldn't look away. The rest of the
world faded away into nothingness because it didn't matter anymore. Everything
he needed to live was right in front of him.
“This weekend?” Loki asked, and for the first time, Thor realised he hadn't
looked away either.
“Yeah,” he said, without stuttering, which was a miracle. “Your place or mine?”
He couldn't even believe he was getting to ask that question.
Loki's face clouded over. “It's probably not best if you come to mine,” he said
quietly, as if he was embarrassed. Thor didn't like that he didn't look
comfortable.
“My mom's away on Saturday afternoon if you want to come over to mine then? She
won't mind,” he said, crossing his fingers that his mom would really be ok with
it. His dad was away on business and sometimes, when it was just the two of
them, she liked to keep him to herself.
Loki smiled. “Sounds good. I just have to ask my parents.”
Not for the first time, Thor wondered just how strict Loki's parents were about
where he went and with whom if he was nearly 18 and still had to ask his
parents' permission to visit a friend's house. He had a vision of being
interrogated by Loki's father – who, in his fantasy, was 8 foot tall with
knives for hands – for his suitability to be Loki's friend. Something inside
him shuddered and he pushed the idea away.
Thor just smiled back instead.
*
They spent the night texting after Loki sent him one to say it was ok, he could
come over. Thor found himself desperately excited, so excited he almost forget
to ask his mother if Loki could actually come over. She didn't seem to mind,
and told him to make sure he didn't make a mess (he swore that wasn't him last
time, but she refused to believe that Clint would actually climb the
drainpipe).
He nearly dropped the phone when he texted Loki back, and had to take a few
deep breaths to readjust himself. He thanked god he wasn't on Skype or
something, because that would just be embarrassing.
The conversation turned from Dream Theater to progressive metal in general,
then it skewered sideways off into Iron Maiden and before he knew it, they were
texting about hair metal and how Motley Crue still had it, so many years later,
even if the golden age had been and gone.
They were still texting at midnight, and despite the tinge of excitement Thor
felt every time he heard his phone beep, his eyelids were drooping and his body
was reminding him it was well past his bedtime.
“Are you always up this late?” he texted Loki, because he didn't want to stop
just yet.
”Sometimes. Briana not sleeping tonight,” Loki replied, and once again Thor had
to resist the urge to ask why he was up with her, and not his parents. There
was surely a good reason, and if he needed to know, he'd find out one day.
“How is she?”
“Teething!!!!” Loki's reply came complete with mountains of exclamation marks,
so he had to assume it was a bad thing. He really didn't know much about
babies. Just the thought of teething made him run his tongue over his front
teeth.
“Good/bad???” Thor sent back.
“Bad :( she won't stop crying and I can't do anything,” Loki replied, and Thor
could practically feel the helplessness that Loki's text seemed to emit.
He did something he wouldn't normally do and instead of replying by text, found
Loki's number in his contacts and called him, before his courage deserted him.
“Hey,” he said softly when Loki picked up, and hoped to god he wasn't doing the
wrong thing. Too forward? Over the top? Unnecessary? His brain was a mess, even
more so than usual.
“Hey,” Loki said back, and Thor could tell from his tone that he was tired.
“You ok?” he asked, because if he wasn't, Thor was going to damn well go around
there and make sure he was.
“Yeah, I just... well, she's starting to settle, I think she's tired,” Loki
replied, and Thor could hear her grizzling quietly in the background.
“You sound tired.”
“I am,” Loki said with a sigh. “You've helped keep me awake, though. Thank
you.”
Something akin to molten pleasure and happiness rushed through his veins. “It's
ok,” he said, and he meant every word. Being tired himself suddenly didn't
matter. “Why was she crying?” he asked.
“Her first tooth is coming through, so it hurts,” Loki explained, and Thor
heard the gentle creaking of a wooden chair. He wondered if he was rocking
Briana to sleep. “I put gel on her gums to numb the pain but sometimes it
doesn't help enough.”
Thor winced. He supposed he'd gone through the same thing, not that he could
remember it. Being a baby sounded harder than most people seemed to think it
was.
“Will she feel better soon?”
“Hopefully,” Loki said quietly, like he didn't wish for anything more in the
world, and suddenly Thor's heart ached because one day he hoped that Loki would
speak of him like that, with so much love.
“Me too,” Thor said, and meant it, because Loki happy made him happy. He
couldn't remember ever being this soppy before and wondered if babies did that
to everyone. If that was the case, he was never having one. This was enough.
He kept Loki up for a little while longer, until Briana was asleep and Loki
could put her down.
“Thank you,” Loki said, and he sounded so tired Thor wondered how he was even
still standing.
“It's ok,” Thor said, and wanted desperately to be there so he could wrap his
arms around him again.
“I'll see you tomorrow, right? 2.30?” Loki asked.
“Yeah, 2.30. Now get some sleep, will you?”
Loki chuckled down the phone, quiet and sleepy. “I think I will.”
***** Chapter 5 *****
Chapter Notes
     Thank you again for all the great comments! I appreciate each and
     every one of them, and I'm sorry I can't answer all of them!
     PS. I don't own Dream Theater or Torchwood, as much as I'd like to
     *sniff*
Thor slept in absurdly late the next day, tired from the late night
conversation. His phone was still on his bedcovers when he woke, right where
he'd put it down when he said good night to Loki. He'd been so tired he'd
fallen asleep right away, and Loki filled his dreams – a vision of Loki with a
tiny baby, of the baby screaming while Loki told him to pick up the phone. It
was disjointed and confusing, like dreams so often are. He wondered what it
meant, but hunger pains ensured he didn't wonder for too long.
*
He was so nervous about Loki coming over that he rearranged his room – twice -
and got told off by his mother for wearing a hole in the carpet by pacing so
much. She scolded him and gave him a plate of cookies for the two of them and
sent Thor to his room to wait there while she got ready to go out.
Thor ate three of them before he realised that Loki wasn't even there yet and
he shouldn't be so greedy. He shoved the plate on top of his bookshelf.
*
Loki was 2 minutes early. Thor knew this because he was laying facedown on his
bed, alarm clock in his hands, counting down the seconds until 2.30pm. It was
2.28 and 7 seconds when the door bell rang. He threw the alarm clock away and
leapt out of bed, flinging open his bedroom door. He raced his mother to the
front door and beat her by half a length.
“Hi Loki,” Thor said breathlessly, hanging onto the door frame while the rest
of his body caught up.
“Um, hi,” Loki replied, and couldn't hide the laugh he was trying to smother.
“Are you ok?”
Thor nodded rapidly. “Yeah. Sorry.” Nice going, Thor! “Come in.”
Loki smiled and stepped inside, and for a moment he was so close Thor could
smell the shampoo he used. He stopped himself from sniffing deeply just in
time. He really didn't want Loki to think he was some disturbed stalker.
Thor introduced Loki to his mother, who may not have noticed considering she
was, at that point, in such a hurry she had mistaken mascara for lipstick and
was coating her lips in black. Thor hurried Loki away before he could notice.
He led Loki upstairs to his room, panicking all the time that maybe he hadn't
removed all the embarrassing things, that Loki would see, for the first time,
how much of a geek he was and how he still coveted comic books and action
figures. In a brief flash he saw Loki laughing at him, and felt his stomach
twist like something had grabbed it. Loki would leave him, go away and tell
everyone else how silly he was – the thought was so horrible he shook it out of
his head.
He opened the door cautiously, afraid of what Loki would think, and almost felt
like justifying his choice of decorations and collections before Loki could
disparage him for it.
But there was none of that, because Loki took in his room with awe – and this
time, it wasn't Tony standing there, sniggering at his Deadpool figure and
telling him to grow up like had happened so many times before. It was Loki,
running a gentle figure over his X-Men figurines and worshipping the Spiderman
poster that Stan Lee had signed.
“This is amazing,” Loki said, a little wistfully, and for a moment Thor felt
like telling him he could just have it all, because that look on his face was
open and sweet, just beautiful on him.
Instead, he stammered a “thanks,” and sat down awkwardly on his bed, letting
Loki look over his collections, because from that position on his bed he had a
great view of Loki's arse. He decided not to say anything. Or move.
When Loki had inspected all of Thor's collectibles he wandered over to the bed
and sat down, and only the barest minimum of self-restraint stopped Thor from
grabbing him and testing just how robust his bed was. Thor hoped to god he
hadn't been drooling again.
“How long have you been collecting all this?” Loki asked, gesturing around the
room, and it occurred to Thor that for the first time since he'd met him, the
worry lines on his face had disappeared. He looked... younger.
“Years,” Thor said with a shrug, because truthfully, he had no idea. As long as
he could remember, he'd loved comic books and collected them with a passion.
His parents had humoured him, thinking he'd grow out of it, but it had yet to
happen. At least it's better than porn, his mother had sighed, not having yet
discovered the stack of it buried under a bundle of comic books.
“I wish... I wish I still had stuff like this. I had some, in Norway, but we
couldn't bring everything with us,” Loki said, his face open and sad. “I'd
wanted to bring it, but my mother refused. I still don't know what happened to
it all. Maybe she threw it away.”
Thor swallowed, because he couldn't think of anything to say. He couldn't
imagine having his childhood packed up in a box and thrown away because it was
too much to deal with. “Well,” he said, twisting his hands in his lap, “if you
ever want to remember, you can borrow my things.”
He hadn't thought of it, just said it, and he was glad he did because Loki's
smile was the brightest he'd ever seen.
“Thank you,” Loki said, after a moment, as if he hadn't been sure what to say.
“I'd like that.”
Thor suddenly realised that the growing heat in his stomach might be what Tasha
often lovingly referred to as the “warm fuzzies”. It wasn't a condition he'd
ever thought he'd suffer from, but he suspected it wouldn't be the last time as
long as he continued to hang around Loki. Which he had every intention of
doing.
“Cookie?” Thor asked, trying vainly to ignore the fuzzies that were now leaping
with glee around his stomach. He pulled the plate down from the bookshelf and
shoved them at Loki, perhaps a little strongly.
“Uh, sure,” Loki said, and grabbed a couple. Thor took a few – half the plate –
for himself and sat back down rather heavily, nearly throwing Loki off in the
process.
“Sorry,” Thor mumbled through a mouthful of cookie, but Loki didn't seem put
out at all – rather, he giggled through his own mouthful so badly he had to
press his hand to his mouth. It was his turn to apologise when he recovered.
Loki looked bashful when he giggled, Thor decided, and it was very endearing.
He wanted, badly, to slide closer to him on the bed, to wrap an arm around him,
to lean closer and feel his warmth... He wanted to kiss him, feel the softness
of his mouth on his, to feel his skin under his fingertips, to love him so
deeply he stopped feeling anything else.
It was almost painful, needing something like that so much, and Thor wondered
how he could stand it. Loki was so close, but so far, like there was a chasm
between them. Seeing but not having was starting to drive him insane. He
wondered if Loki had a clue what he did to him.
Just to show that he probably didn't, Loki chose that moment to pull the Dream
Theater album out of his bag and toss it onto the bed next to Thor.
“I didn't forget,” he said, with that dazzling smile, and Thor couldn't hold a
grudge when such a smile was aimed at him.
“I knew you wouldn't.”
He felt Loki's eyes on him as he got up to flip open his laptop. Thankfully,
he'd closed all his porn tabs and the only thing showing was a screensaver for
Torchwood. He heard a snort from behind him and ignored it, because he didn't
feel like explaining to Loki why exactly he'd chosen a screencap of Jack and
Ianto dancing. He hurriedly clicked it off.
There was still a smirk playing around the edges of Loki's mouth as Thor sat
back down after setting the album to play. It was playful, nothing mean, and it
was so endearingly cute Thor wanted to kiss it away. Thoroughly.
He could hear the opening strains of On the Backs of Angels as the music filled
the room, but strangely, it had ceased to matter.
“That was a cute picture,” Loki said, teasingly, and Thor's heart strained in
his chest. “You didn't have to be embarrassed by it.”
Thor shrugged, a little bashfully, though he'd been aiming for a more
nonchalent look. “Yeah, well, not many of my friends get it.”
“Do they even watch Torchwood?” Loki probed, one delicate eyebrow raised.
“Um... no.”
“Then why do you care?” Loki asked. “If they don't watch Torchwood then they
don't know about the relationship between Jack and Ianto. They have no idea why
it's so sweet.”
Thor's heart crash-landed somewhere behind his kidneys. “You think it's sweet?”
“Of course I do!” Loki looked at him like he was an idiot. “And sad. I still
can't watch Miracle Day.”
“Wow,” Thor remarked. “It's only been... what, two years?”
“Three,” Loki said, and nodded seriously.
Thor kept it to a grin at first, but couldn't hold back and found himself
laughing. Loki joined in after a few moments, a smile breaking across his face,
and they laughed together until they were breathless.
“I might give it another 4 years and see how the first episode is,” Loki said.
“I'll buy you the tissues.”
“I'd appreciate it,” Loki said, with a wry smile. He held it as he looked at
Thor, letting it soften, and Thor's heart began to race. He couldn't look away,
as if he was locked in place. He felt as though he'd opened everything up
inside him for Loki to see and feel. It should have been disconcerting, should
have been uncomfortable, but it just wasn't.
His hands itched where they lay, and one raised, as if under its own volition,
and he watched through dulled eyes as it reached for Loki's arm. He didn't
grip, just held it softly, and felt the warmth of Loki reach down to his bones.
Loki relaxed under his touch, and Thor let his fingers rub gently.
Loki was so pliant under him, so willing, that it made his stomach roil and
burn, the heat spreading in waves through him until he heard his heartbeat
thunder in his ears and he felt disconnected, separated from his body. The
sound of the music reached a crescendo, matching the roaring that still filled
his ears. Thor was drowning from the inside out. It was too much, too
overwhelming, and he squeezed gently before dropping his touch. There was a
flash of disappointment, or something in Loki's eyes and then it was gone,
before Thor could truly understand it.
He wasn't sure what that was, what had happened; he was aware only that he
could hear himself breathe and so Loki probably could as well. He forced
himself to smile, to pretend everything was normal.
“Uh, this is good, this album. I think,” Thor blustered, his face on fire, and
through the burn he saw Loki bite his lip.
Loki smiled, almost sadly. “Yeah, it is. They've changed, it's different, but
it couldn't not be.”
They fell silent for a while, just listening to the music, and though Thor
thought it would be awkward it wasn't. The music filled the room and swirled
around them, intricate and sweeping, and Thor found himself drifting away as he
listened.
He wasn't sure how long he lost himself in the music for, perhaps a few songs –
easily 20 minutes or more, when one was speaking of Dream Theater – when he
glanced over at Loki again, his green eyes closed as he listened. As he
watched, Loki opened them again, as if he knew Thor was watching. A small smile
played on his lips but Thor saw only the exhaustion that had began to darken
his eyes. He remembered with a thud that Loki had been up so late the night
before, and perhaps had not had the privilege of sleeping in like Thor.
“You can lay down if you like,” Thor said, his voice thick, but full of concern
before anything else.
Loki looked for a moment like he was going to protest, but Thor nodded towards
the pillows and Loki gave in. He unlaced his boots and let them drop onto the
floor before sliding off his jacket and laying it over Thor's desk chair.
This could have been all his dreams come true – Loki undressing to lay on his
bed – but the stark reality was that Loki was still basically clothed and
looked like he was ready to collapse. Thor almost felt bad that he'd invited
Loki over, but remembered that Loki had been enthusiastic about coming. All in
all, he was feeling a bit confused.
He watched as Loki crawled further up the bed and lay down, on his side and
facing Thor. They stared at each other for a moment before Loki extended a
hand, and Thor found himself moving back up the bed to rest beside Loki.
He forgot about the music as he laid down too, just a foot of space between him
and Loki that suddenly didn't seem particularly wide.
“Thanks for inviting me over,” Loki murmured, and reached down to slide a hand
over Thor's where it sat on the blanket. Thor's heart nearly burst with the
simple touch. “I'm sorry that I think I'm about to fall asleep. It's not you, I
swear.”
Thor smiled, because even this was more than what he could have hoped for. He
turned his hand over so Loki's hand was resting in his palm. “It's ok. I know
you were up late.”
“I kept you up too.”
“I slept in 'til lunchtime.”
Loki's eyes widened with a touch of disbelief, then narrowed as he laughed.
“That's insane.”
Thor tightened his grip on Loki's hand. “You don't want to see me if I don't
get my 8 hours sleep.”
“What, you turn into a raging monster?” Loki asked cheekily, and Thor's heart
swooped at the sleepy-slash-adorable look on his face.
“Maybe,” Thor replied, and raised an eyebrow as if asking Loki to challenge
him.
“Maybe I should test that, see if you're telling the truth,” Loki said, his
voice almost husky. The look on his face told Thor exactly how he was intending
to do that. Thor's pants suddenly tightened so quickly he worried about a loss
of circulation to his nether regions.
“I'd like that,” Thor said, and had to stop himself from sliding onto Loki and
allowing him to test it right then and there.
Loki didn't say anything in reply, just squeezed his hand and smiled, his eyes
sleepy.
Thor laid there and listened to the music as he watched Loki drift off into
sleep.
*
The room was quiet when Thor awoke, the album having long since finished
playing. He'd fallen asleep some time after Loki, despite never quite having
his fill of watching him sleep.
He shifted, stretching his legs, and became slowly aware of something – or
someone – pressed up against him. Loki was tucked against him, face pressed
into his chest, one arm thrown over Thor's waist. He was still sound asleep,
his black hair mussed and billowed against the pillow. Thor had wrapped an arm
around him in his sleep and without thinking, tightened it now to bring Loki
even closer.
Loki murmured something but didn't wake, his body relaxing into Thor's grip. He
felt warm and heavy in Thor's arms, as if he belonged there. Thor bent and
pressed a kiss on his head, unable to stop himself. He wanted to keep Loki
there forever, wrapped in the safety of his arms, but for now he knew that all
he could do was lay there and enjoy it.
The sun was warm where it reached in through the open window, bringing with it
a small breeze that lifted the loose papers on his desk and swirled them in the
air. It looked as though it was coming into early evening, so perhaps they'd
slept for a couple of hours. Remembering how tired Loki had been he didn't wake
him, just lay there and held him close.
*
It was a sudden beeping noise that disturbed Loki and made him shift until he
was awake, squirming in Thor's arms.
“Waz that?” he asked sleepily, squeezing his eyes shut as he readjusted himself
to the light.
“Dunno,” Thor said, because it wasn't his cellphone nor his alarm, and he
couldn't think of anything else.
Loki twisted in his arms until he looked up at Thor. “I think it's my phone,”
he said suddenly and groaned, and buried himself deeper into Thor, who didn't
protest.
The beeping stopped, giving them respite, but Loki was well awake now. “I don't
want to get up,” he said, his voice muffled by Thor's chest.
Thor chuckled. “I don't want you to get up either.” Instinct told him to soothe
Loki's hair and he did, letting the smooth strands slip between his fingers.
Loki obviously enjoyed it because he moaned softly and pressed himself closer.
Thor wondered if Loki would fall back asleep, and part of him hoped he would so
that he could keep on holding him, and another part wanted Loki awake so they
could talk and keeping touching. Neither part won in the end, because Loki's
phone rung and he had to reluctantly haul himself up to fish it out of his
jacket and answer the call. Thor felt bereft, like a part of him was missing.
He watched Loki as he answered the phone, looking completely disheveled and
half-asleep. Loki spoke quietly so he could hear little, only snippets. He
wasn't on the phone for long, and looked a little dismayed when he ended the
call.
“I'm sorry, I have to go home,” he said, suddenly looking even more exhausted
than he did before he slept.
Thor sat up. “Everything ok?” he asked, concerned.
“Yeah.” Loki sighed. “Briana's screaming and no-one can settle her.” He looked
torn, as if part of him needed to go home to be with her, and part of him
wanted to stay with Thor. As Thor watched Loki slipped his jacket on and bent
to put on his boots.
Thor was disappointed that Loki had to leave so quickly – it felt like they
hadn't actually spent much time together. He didn't want Loki to leave because
nothing else could possibly be as good as having him with him. He didn't know
what to say.
Instead, he scooted forwards on the bed until he was next to Loki. He wanted to
talk, wanted to say so much, but he just couldn't form the words to say what
was in his head – how much he wanted Loki to stay, how much he wanted him
around. He thought then of the little baby at home, and without thinking, asked
instead what he had been wondering for a while.
“Why do you need to look after her all the time Loki? Why aren't your parents
the ones to stay up with her and comfort her when she screams?”
Loki stopped moving then, stopped tying his laces. His face froze, as if he
couldn't allow anything to escape, and Thor had the sudden feeling that he had
said the very wrong thing.
“I'm sorry,” he blurted, and hoped Loki would forget it, but that look in
Loki's eyes told him he wouldn't.
“No, uh, I'm sorry,” Loki said quietly. “I know it's unfair... on you, I mean.”
He paused, like he wasn't sure what to say. “I can't tell you. Not yet, anyway.
Maybe one day,” he said, leaving Thor even more confused than he was before.
Loki bent back down to finish tying his laces.
Thor couldn't think of anything to say. Loki seemed almost distressed by his
question, though Thor hadn't imagined that there wasn't a good reason that Loki
could have given him right then and there. He had the distinct impression now
that Loki was hiding something from him. And after that afternoon, holding Loki
while he slept, Thor felt a little hurt that Loki couldn't confide in him.
“I want to tell you,” Loki said suddenly, standing straight and looking Thor in
the eye. “But I don't know what you'd think and what you'd do.” He bit his lip
again, so hard that Thor hoped he wasn't going to draw blood. “I like you, I
like you a lot. I don't... I don't want to ruin anything. For you or for me.”
Thor was lost for words. He stuttered, while he thought, then gave up and
wrapped his hands around Loki's hips, pulling him close to stand between his
legs. “I like you too. And please... don't feel that anything is going to make
me stop. I don't think I could.”
Loki smiled down at him, relaxing somewhat, though Thor could tell his guard
had not been fully let down. “Can you give me a little time?” Loki asked. “I...
I'm just, I'm not ready I think.”
“Yeah,” Thor said softly, and stood, not taking his hands off Loki as he rose.
“When you're ready.”
Loki moved closer, sliding his arms up and around Thor's head to rest against
his shoulders. “Thank you,” he whispered, and moved even closer, and before
Thor could even think he'd bent forwards to press his lips against Loki's.
It was soft, almost chaste, as they cautiously felt their way into the kiss.
Thor's head was bursting, so busy he couldn't think, because this was
everything he needed and more. Loki pressed into him, his lips gentle and open,
and Thor was worried he'd push too far because Loki seemed so easy to break.
He held Loki like he was delicate, and pressed another lingering kiss to his
forehead.
“Thank you,” Loki whispered, and Thor kissed him again. “For understanding.”
“It's ok,” Thor murmured, and, unable to resist, pressed a kiss to the end of
Loki's nose, making him smile and giggle.
“I need to get home,” Loki said reluctantly, and Thor had to let him go.
“Will you be ok? Do you want me to walk you?”
Loki looked for a moment like he wanted Thor to leave with him, but something
dark passed briefly over his face. “I'll be ok. Thanks, though.”
Thor nodded and let him go, because something within him knew that Loki
wouldn't want him to push the issue.
“I'll see you Monday?” Thor asked, hopefully, and Loki paused at the doorway.
He turned and smiled.
“Of course. Like I'd miss it,” he said, with a cheeky smile, as if the past few
minutes hadn't happened. Thor saw the mask but didn't comment.
“Good. You know you can call or text me any time, right? I mean any time,” Thor
said seriously, desperate to have Loki understand.
“Yeah. Yeah, I know,” Loki said quietly, then smiled again and stepped out of
sight.
Thor knew he should have walked him to the front door, and if his mom was home
she'd chew him out for it, but it almost seemed the right place and time to say
goodbye. If he'd walked with Loki to the front door he knew he would have had a
hard time not leaving with him.
With a sigh he shut his door and went back to flop on the bed. His pillow still
smelt of Loki and he pulled it closer, mimicking how he'd held Loki, and he
closed his eyes as he remembered the kisses they'd shared. He couldn't help but
wonder how the rest of the day might have gone if Loki hadn't had to leave.
His erection returned, persistent and throbbing, and he moved a hand down to
rub himself through his jeans. He saw, in his mind's eye, Loki above him,
leaning down to nuzzle the bulge in his jeans. He unzipped himself and took
himself in hand, imagining that it was Loki's hand, then thought of Loki's
mouth swallowing his cock and almost came. When he did, it was to an image of
Loki below him, legs spread as he took Thor inside him again and again.
It wasn't the last time that Thor came that night.
***** Chapter 6 *****
Chapter Notes
     Thanks again for all the awesome comments and I'm sorry I haven't
     been able to reply to them all! I might have a bit more time on my
     hands now so I'll try from now on :-)
Thor woke the next day still half-naked, undressed from the waist down, his
body sticky from sweat. He'd dreamt of Loki too, of them together – their
bodies entwined and inseparable. He remembered the kiss from the previous day
and felt his lips tingle at the memory. He had a sudden urge to flail madly but
resisted, because he was far too old for that kind of behaviour any more.
Instead, he spent the rest of the morning in bed, arms wrapped around the
pillow that still smelt of Loki, eyes closed and daydreaming. At one point his
mother came in, adamant that since it was 12.30 in the afternoon he ought to
get up. He just turned over and buried his head under the sheets, tuning her
out. She left at some point, after threatening to call his father, but it was
just another of her empty threats – oft exhorted with scant follow-through. So
predictable.
He fell back into a half-sleep, dreaming in and out, but not about Loki. He
dreamt of school, of his History test – and a bright red 'F' staining the top
corner of the page, a horrid, dark feeling that he was a failure, then his
friends and his teacher laughing at him. He roused himself with a start,
breathing hard, because in that dream failing his test had been unbearable and
humiliating. The test had been and gone, he hadn't failed, so why was he still
hung up about it?
Loki texted him at 1pm, asking him if he was out of bed yet. Thor smiled, a
pleasant warmth spreading through his body as the memory of the day before
washed over him. In a blink he had forgotten the drowsy half-dream about his
test and remembered instead the somewhat explicit details of his dream the
night before. He shook his head, trying to forget it as he attempted to be
mature over text.
“No,” he texted back, adding a smile. “Bet u've been up 4 hours?”
“6am,” came the reply, complete with an eye roll smiley. “But I may have had a
nap.”
Still hung up on his dream, Thor wondered just what Loki had spent the night
dreaming about.
“Pleasant dreams?” Thor asked, deciding that Loki could take that however he
wished.
“Rather pleasant,” Loki texted, complete with a wink.
Thor muffed an undignified shriek as he realized that Loki was apparently on
the same wave-length as he was. Things could have gone worse. And besides, Thor
could play this game... “Care 2 expand???”
“Over a text? Not enough room :D” was the reply, and Thor had to stifle a moan
into his pillow. He was about to send something scandalous back to Loki when
his phone beeped again. “Damn sorry have to go :( will text you later :)”.
Thor didn't hold back a groan this time. “Thanks 4 the tease :P” he texted
back, adding half a billion love hearts for emphasis. Loki had hooked him and
hung him up to dry, leaving him hard as a rock. He slid the phone back onto his
bedside table and tugged down his boxers, taking himself in hand. When he came,
desperate and aching, he had to clamp his hand down hard over his mouth so his
mother wouldn't hear Loki's name as he cried out.
*
Loki texted him back later that night, apologizing for needing to go and asking
if Thor had forgiven him for it. Thor was happy to read between the lines,
still operating from his hind-brain like the lovesick teenager he was.
“After a little thought & other things;)” he sent, and smiled, wondering again
which way Loki was going to take it.
Loki's reply came swift. “... and what other things are we talking about here?
:P”
Thor grinned. "Id tell u but then Id have 2 kill u ;)"
"Well, if it's worth it.... or maybe it's not? ;P"
“Ouch!” Thor thought to himself. 10 points to Slytherin. Quite keen to make
sure Loki was under no illusions as to what he was and was not capable of, Thor
fired one back quickly. “Happy 2 show u how it is worth it.... ;)”
He sat back on his bed and took a deep breath as he waited for Loki's reply.
Despite his energetic activities earlier he could feel his jeans tightening
again, and, not for the first time, wondered just what the fuck Loki was doing
to him. He palmed himself gently, hoping that all those warnings about hairy
palms and going blind weren't really true.
“Challenge accepted ;)” Loki buzzed back, and the mere thought of he and Loki
having sex was enough for him to groan and drop the phone onto his mattress to
unzip his jeans and wrap a hand around his cock. He wasn't going to last; the
fantasy dancing in his head was too vivid, too strong.
Before he could finish anything, his phone buzzed again and made him jump.
“Fuck,” he muttered, and pulled his hands from inside his jeans as if his
grandmother had just given him a swipe over the knuckles with a wooden ruler.
It was Loki, and he was going to drive Thor crazy. “Stop touching yourself....
:P” read the text message, and Thor was certain he wasn't going to come out of
this alive. He had to look around for a second, just to make sure Loki wasn't
peering in his windows or something.
Cock aching and slippery, he wiped his hand on the bed covers and texted
hurriedly back. “Dont tell me u arent” he wrote, and gasped as he slid a hand
back onto his erection. Part of him marvelled at the sheer thought that he even
had the balls to even do this, but a significantly larger part was cartwheeling
through a sudden influx of explosive hormones.
He was close, painfully close, when Loki texted back: “I won't then ;)”. It was
enough to flood Thor's brain with a thoroughly debauched image of Loki doing
something very naughty, and enough to make him come suddenly and unexpectedly
all over his comforter. His mom was going to be pissed.
It took him a few moments to recover, painfully conscious that his door wasn't
locked and he had a very suspicious new stain on his bed. His phone stayed
silent, and he wondered just what Loki was doing that he couldn't keep texting.
His cock gave an interested twitch.
If his brain was working he would have shown Loki that two could play that
game, but he could barely string two words together as it was. “Thats nt fair,”
he texted back. “U owe me a new blanket.”
“Then use a towel, like I do :P,” Loki texted back a few seconds later, and
Thor nearly dropped his phone again. He had a sudden and desperate desire to
see just what it was that Loki did to necessitate the use of a towel.
He was hard again, his blood once again deserting his brain, and that made him
bold, though Tasha was sure to say stupid. “A towel? Explanation needed ;).”
“Can show you... ;)” came the reply, and Thor was lost again. He worked his
hand until he made an even bigger mess, and wondered how he could sneak the
comforter into the washing machine without his mother noticing.
*
Thor, not surprisingly, slept so well that night he missed his alarm and had to
be woken by his distraught mother.
“Thor! For goodness sakes, wake up! You'll be late! And what on earth have you
done to your bed?”
“Uh.... spilled my coke?” Thor said dazedly, still in shock from being woken so
harshly. He'd been having a perfectly pleasant dream about he and Loki and a
towel.
She tsked and pulled his blinds up so swiftly they screamed from the treatment.
Sun poured in and he suddenly realized it was Monday and no he could not sleep
in and go back to that dream. But Monday meant school, which meant Loki, which
meant he leapt out of bed quite quickly and frightened his mother.
“Well, get dressed,” she said, still surprised by Thor's turn of foot.
“Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes.” She left him alone and shut the
door behind her.
He dressed so quickly he put his shirt on inside out, and though it wouldn't
have been the first time he'd gone to school in such a state he figured it
would do nothing to impress Loki. After rectifying the problem he pulled the
comforter from his bed, hoping to get it in the wash before his mother got a
closer look and realized that the coke he'd deliberately poured on it was just
barely covering thick white stains.
He tripped on the edge going down the stairs and nearly killed himself, but
tackled it into the washing machine and got it turned on before his mother
called him for breakfast. He was nervous and could barely stomach food, but he
choked down a piece of toast just to avoid an awkward conversation about how
carbohydrates were good for him.
*
It wasn't until he was walking to school that he started to panic. What if he'd
been too forward when they were texting yesterday? What if he'd been
misinterpreting everything and Loki didn't actually like him? What if... What
if...
His mind threw scenario after scenario at him until he was positively convinced
that Loki hated him and he ought to run back home and hide under his bed. He
was so distracted he didn't realise that he'd even made it to school until Tony
tried to trip him up. He stumbled and nearly fell into Steve, who wasn't
impressed.
“What's up with you?” Tasha asked, because she had always been able to read him
like a book.
“Nothing,” Thor replied, far too quickly. He could see her brain ticking over.
“Where's Lover Boy?” Clint asked, looking around, and it was like a kick in the
guts. Did they know? Did Loki tell everyone, just to make them laugh at him
when it all turned out to be a bad joke?
“Thor?” Tasha asked quietly, gripping his arm. “Everything ok?”
Thor swallowed his nerves. “Yeah, yeah, sure,” he blustered, and knew damn well
she could see right through him. She seemed to understand he didn't want to
talk in front of the others and gave him a tight smile that said we'll talk
later.
He stood with his friends and waited for the bell, and for Loki, who didn't
seem to be anywhere in sight. His chest tightened, hoping that Loki was ok, and
he compulsively checked his phone to see if Loki was trying to text him. There
was nothing, and he tried not to panic. He didn't want to text Loki in case it
came off as being a little too concerned and a little too stalkerish. Thor was
confused. He just wanted everything to be alright.
The clock was ticking; it was almost first bell, and it was Clint who spotted
Loki first. “Oh, there's Lover Boy.”
Thor's head snapped up, his eyes darting down the street, and sure enough, Loki
was nearly at school. He breathed a sigh of relief and felt his entire body
relax.
“Hey,” he murmured, as Loki approached him, smiling.
“Hey to you,” Loki said back, and for a moment, one precious moment, they were
the only people in existence. Thor panicked again then, because he wanted to
lean down and kiss him, but they had only kissed once and that was in the
privacy of his bedroom – would Loki even want him to kiss him in front of the
others? What if his apocalyptic scenarios were real and Loki didn't even like
him? The moment passed though, because the others were greeting Loki, all
except Tasha, who peered at Thor with an eyebrow raised and half a smile on her
face.
*
Thor fretted through the first two periods, twisting pencils through his
fingers. By the time the bell for his study period rang, he had three broken
pencils and potential lead poisoning.
*
Loki was waiting for him outside his classroom, which he wasn't expecting.
Something inside him sang, because the smile that Loki gave him told him
everything he needed to know. Wary of Tony accusing them of PDA, he settled for
sliding a hand around Loki's waist and squeezing before letting go.
“Did you get those stains out of your comforter?” Loki asked, turning a cheeky
smile onto him.
Thor laughed. “It's in the wash as we speak. You'd better hope the stains
actually come out or you'll be buying me a new one.”
Loki's smile turned from cheeky to downright teasing, and Thor was sure he was
going to say something incriminating right out there in the middle of the
bustling corridor when Steve and Tony came up behind them, arguing about
something.
“Look, Tony, I just don't think it's a good idea.”
“It's one study period Steve, just one!”
“I have a test next week, I need to study!”
“Study at home. Study during psycholinguistics or whatever the heck it is you
do that you try and use on me.”
“It's psychology, Tony.”
“Whatever, man. Just, come with me, please?” Tony gave Steve such a pleading
look that Thor almost felt like jumping in on his side.
Inevitably, Steve sighed and gave in. “Fine. Just this once.” He looked
exasperated but there was a touch of affection mingled in there somewhere, and
he broke out into a smile when Tony cursed with happiness and gave him half a
hug.
“What was that?” Loki whispered, leaning against Thor as he did.
“Oh, Tony has to sneak out of school at least once every week or he feels he's
not contributing to his delinquent identity. He's starting to corrupt Steve
now,” Thor whispered back, and the look on Loki's face was priceless.
“But... what...” Loki started, clearly confused, and they nearly left him
behind in the corridor when the rush of people started to move towards the
doors and sunshine. Thor grabbed his hand and pulled him along, and was
somewhat gratified that Loki gripped him back and didn't want to let go.
They followed Steve and Tony, who'd moved onto something else to argue about,
through the halls and outside, where streams of students were finding
classmates and settling down for a break. They found Tasha, Clint, and Bruce
under the tree by the field again. It wasn't until Thor spotted Tasha giving
him a strange look that he realised he was still holding Loki's hand. She
stayed silent, but Clint didn't.
“Wow. You two. Didn't see that coming or anything,” he said dryly, and Tasha
smacked him between his shoulder blades. Steve and Tony turned as one, as if
seeing them for the first time that day, and Bruce just looked confused.
Thor felt his face burn red with embarrassment, and fought his first instinct,
which was to drop Loki's hand. He wasn't going to let the others shame him into
protesting anything different, especially when he knew they didn't really care
anyway. He just hoped that Loki was ok with this – it wasn't like they'd even
talked properly about this thing that was happening between them.
“What about it?” Thor asked, trying hard to sound nonchalant and failing
miserably. Loki shot him a smile.
“Nothing,” Clint said, and shrugged. “But you just lost me $20. I don't even
have $20. Now I gotta find someone to borrow it off to pay Tasha. Tony?”
“What, man? I lent you $40 last week when you bet Tasha that she couldn't sit
through three classes she wasn't enrolled in and not be noticed and you lost,
might I remind you, quite badly. That was nice work, Tasha, I'm your biggest
fan. Oh, and Clint, I'll have you know that my interest rate on personal loans
is 50%.”
“50%! What the hell, Tony, that's insane!”
“60% now.”
“Oh for fuck's sake...”
“70.”
“I can't afford that Tony, you know that!”
“That's business, baby. Don't make money being nice.”
“Oh c'mon Tony!” That was from Steve, who always stood up for the underdog and
was very reliable in doing so. “Play nice. It's not like you need the money.”
It was his turn for puppy dog eyes.
Tony just looked at him for a moment, clearly fighting a major internal battle
between Steve and money. Steve won. “Oh fine. I'll wipe your stupid debt Clint.
But you owe me. And no, I will not lend you money today. You can work off your
debt with Tasha, washing her windows or brushing her hair or whatever it is you
two do that I don't want to know about.”
“Brushing my hair?” Tasha asked, looking a little horrified.
“Come on darling, you know I'm brilliant with a brush!” Clint sang, sinking
down next to her to mess up her hairstyle.
“Get away from me, I don't know you at all.”
“Are they usually all like this?” Loki whispered.
“I'm afraid so,” Thor said gravely, and tugged on Loki's hand until they were
sitting together, side-by-side. “It's not too late to renounce them
completely.”
“Hmmmm... Well, it's entertaining at least, I guess.”
“You should see them when they're drunk.”
“What about you?” Loki asked quietly, and when Thor turned, he was close,
smiling gently.
“Me? I'm normal, unlike these idiots.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I am! Did I tell you about the time Clint climbed onto the roof of the gym and
then couldn't get down? They had to call the fire-brigade. No seriously, this
happened. Ask anyone. I even got pictures, they're on my laptop. I'll show you
later. Then there's the time Tasha pretended to be a substitute teacher for a
freshman English class. She only got busted when she got her Shakespeare mixed
up with American classics and thought The Merchant of Venice involved a whale.
Bruce has blown up three science labs and four freshmen. Steve once stopped a
football match to rescue an injured bird by tackling the player with the ball
and holding him ransom until they stopped playing. Tony swapped the plaque for
the principal's car park for one with his name on it and parked in it for a
week. These, Loki, are the types of people you've chosen to hang out with.”
“And you're perfectly normal?”
“Yes. Completely.”
“Did Thor tell you about the time he dyed his hair the school colours for the
last homegame of the season and it didn't come out for 3 weeks because he
bought the semi-permanent stuff and not the wash-out stuff? Or the time he
forgot which locker was his and broke into the locker that belonged to the
captain of the lacrosse team?”
“Thanks Tony.”
“No worries, man.”
Beside him, Loki had his head in his other hand, giggling quietly. “It wasn't
that bad! The color washed out eventually and Hopkins never found out it was
me!” Thor insisted. Loki didn't stop giggling but he did manage to shake his
head. “Anyway, it's not like anyone's ever had to call the emergency services
for me,” Thor said, almost morosely.
“It's ok Thor, there's still time,” Bruce said seriously.
“If you'd climbed the goalposts like I told you to I would have phoned an
ambulance for you when you fell off,” Tony said consolingly.
“Thanks man. That's sweet.”
“I know, I know.”
Things seemed to quieten down after that, while everyone settled down to eat or
catch up on any homework due that day. Tasha was reading The Great Gatsby while
Clint ate his way through 4 sandwiches next to her. Bruce and Tony were quietly
arguing over a physics textbook and Steve had his sketchpad, pencil working
quickly and carefully over the page.
Next to him, Loki shifted closer and rested his head on Thor's shoulder, and
everything was peaceful.
*
The day passed quietly, and contently, as if everything in the universe was
just right and in rhythm. He missed Loki during the periods after study, but he
was happy knowing that he'd be there at lunch, then at History, then again
after school. He felt almost like he was bubbling over, that there was so much
good stuff in him he couldn't hold it all in. Sometimes he couldn't sit still,
like something inside him was trying to get out. He wondered if Loki felt the
same – like everything had changed. And the thing was, he wanted everyone to
know – wanted everyone to know that he and Loki were together, that even after
such a short time together he knew how badly he needed him. Something had
changed inside him the first time he saw Loki, as if Loki was the next part of
his life, ready now to start happening. It was madness, it was stupidity, it
was love and Thor was head over heels.
*
Tasha was there, waiting outside his classroom as the lunch bell went. That
wasn't a Tasha thing to do, to stalk him like that, but he knew why she did it.
“So?” she hissed, leaning conspiratorially close to him. “What happened?”
Thor shrugged, and looked around for prying eyes. “I asked him around to my
place on Saturday, he came, we kissed. That's what happened.”
“No sex?” She looked almost disappointed, like he'd let her down.
“Not yet,” he said, and decided not to mention their text conversation the
previous morning.
She pursed her lips. “Take your time then. And tell me when you do.”
“Like I'm going to ring you up in the middle of sex!”
“You're no fun Thor.”
Everyone was at their usual table in the cafeteria, and Thor rushed through
buying lunch so the space that Loki had left open beside him wasn't pinched by
someone really oblivious. He was feeling bold enough (and desperate enough,
considering it was nearly a full two hours since he'd last seen Loki) to give
Loki a quick kiss on the cheek as he sat down. Loki went red and Tony
catcalled, but the smile on Loki's face was worth it.
“Mmmm, guys, before I forget – party, my place, Friday night. You're all
coming. No excuses. Including you, newbie,” Tony said, pointing a fork laden
with potato at Loki, who looked rather pleased to be invited.
“Your dad away?” Clint asked, and Thor figured he was probably already mentally
calculating how much alcohol they could buy before then.
“Yup. Alllll weekend. Well, actually, he's leaving on Wednesday night, but
someone thinks we shouldn't have a party on a school night.” Tony had swerved
around in his seat to face Steve, who looked slightly exasperated.
“Last time you had a party Tony no-one went home until 4 in the morning. I
think the teachers would notice something was up the next day. Then do you
think your dad will let you stay home alone again?” Steve pointed out, one
righteous eyebrow raised.
“Hmm, good point, Captain Fantastic. What would I do without you?”
“Hack into the World Bank?”
“Apart from that.”
Steve and Tony continued, caught up in their own little world, and Loki turned
to Thor and smiled as if to say aren't they cute. Thor laughed and nodded, and
since when had they started not needing to talk to communicate?
By the end of lunch full-blown plans had been drawn up for the party, although
where Tony was going to find an inflatable army tank Thor had no idea. He was
looking forward to being with Loki away from school, away from home and their
parents and restrictions. The Stark mansion was the biggest in town, and there
were plenty of rooms. He hoped Loki had the same idea as he did.
*
History that day was on the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. Thor always found
assassinations to be generally interesting, despite their macabre pretexts. He
even managed to pay attention today, even with Loki so close and so
distracting.
“Does history have to be about people killing other people for it to be
interesting to you?” Loki asked as they left, but it was cheeky, not
accusatory.
“Wellll...” Thor shrugged. “I wouldn't say that, but blood helps.”
Loki shook his head and laughed, and Thor wanted nothing more than to grab him
and kiss him, hard, in front of everybody. He settled for looking at him
fondly.
“So, you're coming this Friday, right?” Thor asked, a sudden thickness in his
throat belying his fear that Loki would say no.
“I have to ask my parents, but I'm pretty sure they'll be ok with it,” Loki
said, not meeting Thor's eyes.
“Ok,” Thor said quietly, because again there was that feeling that Loki wasn't
telling him everything. He knew he couldn't expect Loki to just open up and
tell him his life-history just because they'd kissed, but at the same time he
didn't like that something was making Loki upset and he couldn't make it better
because he didn't know what it was.
Loki, his head still down, walked closer and Thor felt his hand slip into his.
Loki's grip was firm, like he wanted to say something but this was the only way
he could tell him, and all Thor could do was squeeze back.
They walked together, silently, until Thor had to go left down his street and
Loki had to go straight ahead.
“Text me,” Loki said, almost desperately, as if he didn't want Thor to go.
“I will,” Thor reassured, and knew it was no good asking Loki to come over. He
knew what he would say. He pulled Loki closer and without giving a damn who
might be around to see, kissed him like he'd never see him again.
***** Chapter 7 *****
By Wednesday, Thor had nearly run out of texts on his phone – it was another
week before his account was renewed, so this was a problem. He texted Loki when
he got home from school, in the mornings before he left, during classtime when
he wasn't supposed to have his phone at all, and at night, especially when Loki
was up.
They talked about everything – school, their friends, their families, music,
religion, sports, even major world issues, which apparently Loki was quite
well-read in. Though, to Thor's dismay, they hadn't expanded on the whole
'let's be naughty over text' thing that had exhausted his nether regions
earlier in the week. He guessed that Loki was tired – he often texted at 2am in
the morning, or thereabouts – and didn't push it, as much as he wanted to.
Tony's plans for the party were being rushed into – so much so that Steve
became concerned and suggested that they tone it down a bit and leave out the
fireworks and the live band. As Steve was the only person that Tony would
listen to he reluctantly acquiesced, and the party of the century became a
'let's hang out and drink' party instead. Thor wasn't too concerned – he wasn't
planning on partaking in any of Tony's planned activities anyway.
Word had gone around school that Thor and Loki were dating. Thankfully, apart
from a few homophobic grumbles no-one took potshots at their sexuality – Thor's
wasn't exactly a revelation for those that knew him, but Loki was a blank
slate. It was the jealousy that was the problem. Those same girls who eyed up
Loki when he arrived had now made Thor their Number One Enemy. Tony thought it
was freaking hilarious that Thor got nasty notes in his locker and things
thrown at him occasionally. Loki was just bewildered.
“But don't they get that I don't like girls?” Loki asked him at lunch on
Wednesday after a group of girls passed them and threw glares at Thor that
would have killed a small mammal.
“Apparently that doesn't matter. You're cute.”
Loki screwed up his face. “But I wouldn't date them anyway. They're being
awfully childish.”
Thor decided not to mention that he'd started throwing things back. “Let's just
ignore them. Come on, lunch'll be gone by the time we get there.” He took
Loki's hand, squeezed it, and poked his tongue out at a group of pissed-off
girls over his shoulder.
*
Thor could barely sit through the last two periods of the day. He tuned out
everything and watched the clock instead, imploring it to move faster, because
Loki had convinced his parents to let him go to Thor's that afternoon (for only
two hours and not a minute more, mind). All he could think about was finally
having Loki alone, and all to himself. No Tony telling them to stop kissing
(“it's disgusting!”) or Clint watching them together like it was his favourite
porno.
His teacher let them out on the final bell and he waited for Loki outside
Classics, where Steve had managed to bail him up to talk about Homer. Thor
wasn't sure what The Simpsons had to do with Classics, but he let Steve finish
before he pounced on Loki and dragged him away by his hand.
Loki laughed, his fingers tightening around Thor's. “Impatient, are we?”
“Whatever gave you that impression?”
They walked hand-in-hand home, talking quietly. It was a nice afternoon but
Thor barely noticed, because he had something far nicer to look at. His mom
wasn't home – which was a blessing, she didn't know about Loki yet – and his
father was still away on his business trip, which was even better. He grabbed
them both cold sodas from the fridge and led Loki upstairs.
His room was stuffy and warm from being closed all day, so he opened the window
and pulled the blinds down – he didn't underestimate Clint's ability to climb
buildings, even if he wasn't very good at getting down yet, and the neighbour's
roof would have made a great vantage point.
Loki was already sitting down when he turned back around, and he placed his
open can safely away on the bedside table before sitting next to him.
“Hey,” he said softly, and waited for Loki to smile before he leaned in and
kissed him. He took his time, savouring Loki's taste, still somewhat giddy that
he could even do this. He ran his hand up Loki's arm to his neck and gripped it
softly, rubbing his thumb across Loki's soft skin. There was a hand on his
waist, pulling him closer, pushing up his t-shirt until there were delicate
fingers stroking his skin.
He pulled Loki up the bed to lay down, their legs tangled. Loki pressed into
him, his mouth finding Thor's collarbone and sucking gently. Thor leaned back
to give him room, body tensing because holy hell that felt amazing. Loki's
tongue darted out to lick his skin before his mouth closed around it again, and
Jesus Christ when in the hell did Loki learn that?
Thor was pretty sure he was trembling, which in and of itself might have been a
little embarrassing, but it felt so good he decided to ignore it. Then Loki
licked his way up to his ear to bite gently at his earlobe and he couldn't hold
in a gasp.
“Holy shit...” he breathed, arms tightening around Loki as he drove him mad. He
felt Loki giggling underneath him and joined in because he couldn't not - his
body was tingling and on fire, and he had never been with anyone else like this
before.
Loki wriggled up to kiss him, and Thor clutched at his waist and rolled him
over, straddling his hips. He wasn't a stranger to sex but he'd never been this
intimate with anyone before – sex had always been a fast-paced and explosive
event that never went beyond quick kisses, penetration and orgasm, so whatever
Loki had done, he'd done it a heck of a lot better than Thor had.
He figured it was never too late to learn. He turned the tables on Loki and
licked the exposed skin of his shoulder, slowing down and slowing down until he
felt Loki gasping underneath him. He licked up to his ear and tried to remember
what Loki had done to his – he could hardly remember, he'd been in a state of
ecstasy at the time – so he bit delicately at first, and then apparently a
little too hard because Loki squeaked and pushed against him - bad form, Thor!
he could practically hear Tony say.
“Sorry,” he whispered, feeling a bit stupid, but Loki shook his head and told
him it was ok.
“Don't stop,” Loki whispered, pulling Thor down for a quick kiss. “I like it.”
“Good,” Thor murmured, and kissed him again.
He tried again, suckling at Loki's earlobe and licking the soft skin, and this
time he felt Loki relax under him, his breathing deep and shaky. He wrapped his
hands around Loki's waist and started to rub, gently massaging, and knew Loki
appreciated it when he started to moan. His green eyes fluttered open as Thor
pushed his hands under his shirt, pushing it up to expose his stomach.
“Mmmm, no...” Loki said quietly, sitting up and dislodging Thor who fell to the
side. “I'm sorry,” he said, and tugged his shirt down, face looking down and
away.
Thor's first thought was to protest, that he thought that Loki wanted this to
go further, but Loki looked as though something had upset him and he
immediately thought he'd screwed up. “I'm sorry, if I went too far...”
Loki shook his head. “It's not that, it's... something else. I just... I'm
really sorry. I should go.”
“Loki!” Thor cried, making a grab for his hand as Loki began to climb off the
bed. He just couldn't understand what had happened. “Did I do something?”
“No, it's not you. Really,” Loki said, and smiled, but it was forced.
“Well, look, you can still stay? Please? We don't have to do anything. Just
watch TV or something?” Thor pleaded.
Loki looked a little reluctant, but started to relax. “Ok.”
“Cool,” Thor said, with no little relief. He was horribly confused – not to
mention horribly turned on – and desperately afraid he'd fucked everything up.
He stood up to find the remote and turn the TV on, and waited until Loki had
climbed back on the bed and was comfortable before he sat down next to him,
leaving a space.
They watched Mythbusters for a while without speaking, until Loki suddenly
spoke up. “I meant what I said. It wasn't you. It's just... something I'm not
sure about right now.”
For Thor, that didn't clear anything up. He still felt like he'd done something
wrong. This wasn't going the way he was hoping at all. “Sex?” he asked, worried
that Loki would say yes.
“No, sex is ok. It's not that.”
“Can you tell me?”
“Not yet.”
Another secret. Thor couldn't help but think that whatever it was that Loki was
scared of – that he couldn't tell him – had something to do with what he
couldn't tell him the other day. He wasn't sure how to feel about this. He knew
he and Loki hadn't known each other for long, but he felt like they were so
good together it shouldn't matter – they should be able to be comfortable with
each other.
Loki sighed, and looked miserable, and Thor felt his heart ache. Hoping like
hell Loki wasn't going to reject this advance, he wriggled closer and wrapped
an arm around Loki's shoulder. He could feel Loki tense underneath him at
first, but then he relaxed, sighed again and dropped his head onto Thor's
shoulder.
“Thank you,” he said quietly. “For understanding.”
Thor wasn't sure what it was that he was understanding, but he wasn't going to
argue.
*
Later that night, after Loki had gone home and Thor had reluctantly cleaned up
after dinner, he lay on his bed and stared at his phone. Usually by now one or
the other had started texting, but now everything had become a little
confusing. He'd pulled Loki in for a kiss just before he left, and it was
enthusiastically received and returned, but all the same, he hoped that
whatever had gone wrong before wouldn't continue to make things awkward.
He sighed and flopped back on the pillows. He needed Tasha.
*
She ended up calling him after his texts became more and more confused.
“Thor, what the hell is going on? I can't understand your texts.”
By then, Thor had convinced himself that he'd royally fucked it all up and Loki
hated him. He was almost in tears. “I don't fucking know! We were making out
and then he told me to stop and he wanted to leave...”
“Christ Thor, what did you do?”
“I don't know! That's the problem! Loki kept telling me it was him, not me, but
what if it isn't and he's just being nice?”
“Well what were you doing right before he told you to stop? And nothing
graphic, please.”
“Don't worry, we didn't get that far,” Thor said miserably. “I was licking his
ear, and um, I had my hands around his waist... I started pushing his shirt up
and then he told me to stop.”
“So maybe he's frigid and thought you wanted to have sex.”
“Trust me, he's not frigid,” Thor said, remembering their text messages.
“Well how do you know? Have you been lying to me? Have you guys already done it
and you just haven't told me cos you're a jerk?”
“No, Tasha, we haven't done it... we just, ya know, texted a few times.”
“You... wait, you two were sexting?” she asked, almost incredulous.
“Uh, yeah, I guess so.”
“Christ. Can you send me the texts?”
“NO Tasha!”
“Fine, fine...” Thor could practically hear her blowing her hair out of her
face over the phone. “And you haven't spoken to him since?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I'm not sure he'd appreciate it.”
“Well, why don't you just try?”
“... Because...”
“Because why? Stop being a wimp, Thor, or I'll tell Tony.”
“Tasha! That's not fair!”
“That's life. Text. Him. Now. Seriously. Get off the fucking phone and just
text him.”
“But what do I say?” Thor whined.
“I dunno! What do you normally say to each other? Just go for something normal.
Don't mention The Incident.”
“Fine.”
“Can you do that, or do you need me to hold your hand?”
“I'll be fucking fine Tasha, thanks for your help.”
“Well fuck you too. See ya tomorrow, and let me know how it goes, ok?”
“Yeah, I will,” Thor said. “Thank you.”
“No problem.” Then she hung up, and Thor had run out of excuses.
He checked his phone again, just in case Loki had texted him while he was
talking, but there was nothing. He opened a blank text and just sat there for a
while, fingers poised over the keys.
In the end, he disregarded what Tasha told him. “Hey, u doing ok?” he asked,
and added a love heart, because really, no matter what Clint said, he was a
romantic at heart. The second he sent it he panicked, because maybe he
shouldn't have, he should have listened to Tasha...
But there was nothing he could do – his text was out there in text-space,
flying to Loki's phone, and it wasn't like he could pluck it out of thin air
and destroy it. He could only hope that Loki would reply, and in a good way.
It was utter misery waiting. He stared at his phone, counting down the seconds
and then the minutes that went by without a reply. He'd just about given up and
was about to throw his phone across the room in anger when it beeped. He opened
the text without even looking at who sent it.
“Yeah, I'm good :) Sorry about before. Can we try again? :)”
Thor was so relieved he could have cried – again. Loki didn't hate him, didn't
think he was a loser. His fingers scrambled over the keys as he sent his reply.
“Anytime u want :)”.
Loki's text came back almost straight away. “Friday? ;)” it said, and Thor knew
he meant Tony's party.
“Yes. Please! If there is anything u dont wnt me 2 do, its ok” he sent, hoping
to avoid another Incident.
“Can we talk about that? Maybe on Fri”.
Thor breathed a sigh of relief. “Yeah :)”.
“Awesome :)”.
And then, everything seemed back to normal.
*
Thor woke the next day exhausted from the night before, having stayed up til
2am to talk to Loki over text. He was happy though, glad Loki wasn't pissed at
him, though still a little disappointed that they hadn't progressed beyond what
they had. He had Tony's party to look forward to though.
He wasn't sure how much Loki was going to tell him, but he hoped that he could
trust him to know that whatever it was, he didn't care. Loki was perfect just
the way he was, and he didn't want Loki to think that he had to hide things or
pretend to be someone he wasn't.
*
Loki stayed close to him that day, as if he was desperate to assure Thor that
he still wanted him, and Thor didn't mind. He took Loki away to a secluded part
of the school at lunchtime and attempted to show him just how much he still
wanted him. Just kissing, of course.
*
Thor woke on Friday morning with butterflies in his stomach. Today was the
party, and if everything went to plan – sex. He was so nervous he couldn't eat
breakfast, and ended up getting a lecture on the importance of carbohydrates.
He pretended to listen.
He met Loki halfway to school, and they walked the rest of the way hand-in-
hand, ignoring Tony's whistles as they came in through the school gate.
“Fuck off, Tony,” Thor told him, and flipped him the finger.
“Oh hey woah woah woah...” Tony flipped his hands up as if he was surrendering.
“No need to use foul language, Mr Odinson. Your invitation to tonight's party
is subject to conditions, one of which, might I remind you, is that it can be
rescinded at any time. Hence forth, you might find yourself uninvited, and your
stunning date might be there all alone... surrounded by lonely, single men...”
“Tony!”
“What? I have rights too, you know!”
“Yeah, the right to not be an ass,” Clint grumbled.
“Oh, come on Clint like you can talk...”
Thankfully, the bell rung.
*
Thor wasn't the only one with the jitters that day. Tony looked eager to get
home and finish arranging everything, and Steve looked eager to follow him to
make sure he didn't do anything too extreme. Clint and Tasha were both keen
partiers and even Bruce was coming (Tony had bribed him with the right to
invade his scientific library and take whatever he wanted). They talked of
nothing else over lunch.
*
When school had finally finished, and students were pouring out of the gates in
various degrees of excitement, Thor found Loki and walked him home as far as he
could.
“Do you want me to pick you up tonight?” Thor asked him. “Mom said I could use
her car.”
“Yeah,” Loki said, smiling. “That'd be good. What time?”
Thor bit his lip. “Um, 7?”
Loki nodded. “7 is good. I have to be home by 1, though,” he said, almost as if
he was embarrassed.
“That's cool. I'll get you home by then, I promise.” He leaned forward and
kissed Loki, barely able to keep his mind off that night. It seemed Loki
couldn't either, because when they parted he had the most wicked grin on his
face.
*
Thor spent so long in the shower his mother had to bang on the door to get him
out. “Hot water isn't free, you know!” she called through the wood, and Thor
grumbled and turned it off.
He paid extra attention to his hair and what he wore, moreso than he normally
would for one of Tony's parties, where anything went. No matter what he did
though, his palms wouldn't stop sweating.
When it was 6.45pm, and time to go to Loki's to pick him up, Thor double-
checked he had everything. Phone, keys... then realised what it was that he had
almost forgotten. He dug around in his top drawer and found a box of condoms
and a small bottle of lube, and zipped them into a pocket of his leather jacket
so his mother wouldn't spot them.
“See you later, mom,” he said as he breezed through the living room, hoping
like hell she wasn't interested in giving him one of those 'talks', because
there was nothing better for one's libido than having your mom give you the sex
talk.
“Bye, darling! Be home before 3am!”
“No worries...” Thor said under his breath, deciding he wasn't going to mention
he'd be home even earlier than that, because then she'd ask questions and it
would be Awkward.
*
He felt a small sense of irony as he drove up to Loki's house. No more than a
month ago he'd been stuck behind a bush, eyeing up Loki, whom he hadn't even
known back then. So much had changed.
He rang the bell and hopped nervously from step to step. He just hoped to god
nothing had gone wrong and Loki could still come.
It was Loki's grandmother who answered the door, the same lady who had been
there when he'd taken Loki home that day, and as if the Fates were sharing in
his irony she was carrying Briana again.
“Oh, it's you dear. Loki will be down in a minute,” she said, and smiled. “Come
in.” Thor couldn't help but like her. She was the epitome of a grandmother.
Both of his were back in Norway, and he'd only seen them twice when they came
over for holidays.
He stepped in slowly, trying hard not to look like he was being nosy as he
looked around. There were still moving boxes stacked up in piles, but for the
most part the house looked well-organised and tidy. The only sign of
disorganisation – apart from the boxes – was the vast array of baby toys on the
living room floor. There was a baby gym and a colourful mat, and a box full of
toys. He saw boxes of unopened diapers on the dining room table and clean baby
bottles on the kitchen bench. It was very clear that a baby lived here.
It was a moment before he realised he was alone – Loki's grandmother had gone
off to fetch him. He stood awkwardly for a moment, until he realised the wall
behind him was full of photographs. There were family portraits and photos of
Loki from when he was younger – and he was downright cute back then, clearly
nothing had changed – and photos that must have been taken when the family
still lived in Norway. The newer photos were of the baby, and there was a
particularly nice one of Loki holding Briana like she was the most precious
thing he'd ever seen. He resisted the urge to melt into a puddle.
A noise from behind him broke the silence. He turned, hoping Loki had come
down, but it was a tall man with pale skin. He had black hair and the same
colour eyes as Loki. Thor was in no doubt that this was his father.
“Oh hello. You must be Thor?” Loki's father asked, and came forward to shake
his hand.
“Yeah, that's me.”
“I'm Laufey, Loki's father,” he said, even though the relationship was obvious.
Thor nodded awkwardly. “I um, I go to Loki's school,” he said by way of
conversation.
“Loki told me. He said there are a few of you? One of you has a party tonight,”
he said, making his way to the kitchen. “Would you like a drink?”
“Uh, sure. Yeah, that's Tony. He lives up on the hill.”
It was Laufey's turn to nod. “The big house?”
“Yeah. He's Howard Stark's son.”
Laufey looked surprised – clearly, Loki hadn't told him that much. Thor didn't
blame him. Laufey passed him a glass of orange juice and he took it thankfully,
pleased to have something to do with his hands. He wondered what was taking
Loki so long.
Before they could continue their awkward conversation, Thor heard noise from
the hall. He could hear women's voices and Loki as well, discussing something,
but he couldn't make out what. They came into the living room together, and at
some point Loki had taken Briana from his grandmother and was holding her in
his arms.
“I fed her 30 minutes ago, she should be fine for another few hours but I left
a bottle in the fridge,” Loki said, clearly having not seen Thor standing in
the kitchen. His grandmother was with him, and another lady, who had to be his
mother. Her hair was blonde, not black, and she had beautiful blue eyes. She
looked tired though, worn, as if she needed a holiday. Thor wondered if that
was why Loki was looking after the baby instead of her.
“Loki...” his grandmother said, and Loki looked up to see Thor in the kitchen.
His face burst into a wide smile and Thor couldn't help but follow. Loki looked
gorgeous. He was wearing tight black jeans that Thor hadn't seen before, and a
dark green shirt that made his eyes shine.
“Hey. I'm sorry, I didn't see you,” he said. “I'll just be a minute.”
He handed Briana to his mother, and leaned down to kiss the baby's head. He
lingered, brushing his hands over her soft hair.
“She'll be fine Loki, go,” his mother said knowingly, with a smile. “And if
not, we'll call you. Go!”
Loki smiled, and Thor placed his empty glass on the counter by the sink and
walked over to him. If it wasn't for the audience he wasn't sure he'd even make
it out of the house with Loki – his bedroom was far closer.
“You look nice,” Thor said, and loved the way Loki looked at him. “You ready?”
“Yeah.”
Thor followed Loki out, completely unaware of the way the adults were looking
at them and smiling.
***** Chapter 8 *****
It was still half an hour away from sunset, but as they drove towards Tony's
they could see that the house was lit up like a Christmas tree on steroids. It
seemed as though every single light in the place was on, including the
spotlights and garden lights. Thor hated to think of the size of the power bill
– but then again, the name on the bill was Howard Stark. He could afford it.
The mansion stood regally on an outcrop of land perched in the hills above the
town. It looked down on the houses below it, but not in an intimidating way –
it appeared as more of a guardian, or a sentinel. Thor had always admired it as
he grew, and when he was old enough to know who lived there he became in awe of
it. Then, one day in elementary school, Tony Stark had appeared in the
corridors and by the end of the day, they were firm friends.
After all these years and countless parties and sleepovers, Thor knew the house
from top to bottom. He planned to use this knowledge to his advantage tonight,
and absentmindedly patted the zipped up pocket in his jacket to make sure it
was all still there.
Loki had never been up to Tony's place before. He stared out of the windscreen
and up the hill, watching it come towards them. Thor realised just how
grandiose the house appeared to outsiders. Howard Stark had built it before
Thor was even born, and in the most extravagant way possible, but it was still
always meant to be a home.
They parked around by the garage, amidst the Porches and Ferraris that Howard
rarely even used. Loki looked like someone had slapped him on the face.
The gravel crunched under their feet as they approached the house. Booming
music blasted out of all the open windows and threatened to break the ones that
were shut. All around them were rows and rows of cars – clearly, Tony had ended
up inviting half the town anyway.
They let themselves in through the open door. Loki looked around in awe at the
enormous golden chandelier and marble staircase that dominated the extravagant
foyer. Thor had seen it so many times he had stopped being impressed a long
time ago. Once, he'd even (on a dare, which he won) swung from that very
chandelier. Howard still hadn't noticed the broken bulbs.
“Thor! Loki! My Norwegian friends!” Tony, clearly already halfway to pissed,
greeted them with a cigar in one hand and a bottle of Grey Goose in the other.
“Glad to see you could make it. Food's out front, alcohol's in the dining room,
pool is open for business and find a room if you want to have sex. Just not my
father's, that would be very awkward. Other than that, have fun!” And then he
was gone.
“Did he...” Loki asked.
“Yup,” Thor said.
“Huh.”
“You hungry?” Thor asked. He didn't know about Loki, but his stomach had
started protesting about an hour ago.
“Yeah.”
Thor spotted half a dozen people he knew in the crowd and a dozen he didn't,
and wondered how many had come from out of town. He grabbed Loki's hand so as
not to lose him, and after getting waylaid several times they found the food.
Tony had catered out so there was table after table groaning under the weight
of a wide assortment of food. There was everything from hamburgers to pasta to
steak, and considering it was free, Thor didn't bother to discriminate. Loki
took a far smaller plate of food, choosing the more healthy items on the menu –
of which there were few.
“Rabbit food?” Thor asked.
“What?” Loki asked, looking confused.
“You have green stuff on your plate.”
“Yeah, it's salad. What's wrong with salad?”
“It's green.”
Loki just grinned and rolled his eyes. “Come on, Bigfoot, let's get something
to drink.”
Thor guzzled a bottle of beer before grabbing another to take with him. Loki
watched him drain it with some sort of odd fascination.
“Beer?” Thor asked, and held out an unopened bottle.
Loki looked at it warily. “No thanks, I don't drink.”
Thor stopped for a moment. “Really? Not even beer?”
Loki shook his head. “No beer, no wine, no spirits.”
“You know no-one cares about the drinking age around here right? We always
drink. No-one's ever been caught.”
“It's not that. I just don't like it.”
Thor shrugged. “Ok.” He didn't push it. He wondered if Loki genuinely didn't
like alcohol, or if he just wasn't allowed to.
Loki grabbed a lemonade instead and they walked outside. There were people
already in the pool, some of them still in their clothes. Clint was one of
them. Tasha was DJ-ing and Bruce was wandering around looking confused. Steve
was with Tony, pleading with him to not pour gas on the barbeque to “see what
would happen”.
They found a seat on the steps leading away from the pool, where they could be
in peace and yet watch everyone. Loki seemed quite happy not joining in – he'd
never struck Thor as a particularly extroverted person – and to Thor's own
shock he realized he was perfectly happy too. Normally, he'd be in the pool
right alongside Clint, clothes and all, yelling at Tasha to put some decent
music on and drinking from two different bottles at once.
Instead, here he was, just watching, and just fine with it.
He was very conscious of Loki beside him, so close he could feel his warmth. He
stopped listening to the noise around them, stopped seeing anything other than
the person beside him. He even stopped eating, and he was halfway through a
perfectly cooked steak (medium rare).
“What?” Loki asked, head tilted to the side. “You ok?”
Thor realized he'd been staring. “Yeah, sorry.” He leaned over to kiss Loki on
the cheek. “You look beautiful tonight.”
Loki blushed. “Thanks,” he stammered, biting his lip.
“I mean it,” Thor said, and kissed him again.
“I know.”
They finished eating in silence, and then just sat for a while. The evening was
cool and bright, one of those early spring nights that brought the promise of a
long and beautiful summer ahead. There was little to listen to beyond the music
– now playing Metallica's Hero of the Day - but he remembered how peaceful this
garden could be, filled with birds and insects and bright flowers. Tony's
mother had crafted it with care, planning every rose and every bush and every
turn of the path, filling the land with purpose and love. She'd even cared for
it during her illness, until she became too ill to move from her bed. She was
buried here, amongst the roses, and Thor often found Tony sitting with her, his
face wet with tears. Sometimes he'd sit with him, trying to share his pain.
Beside him, Loki lay his head on Thor's shoulder and sighed, closing his eyes.
“You ok?”
“Yeah.”
Thor wrapped an arm around Loki's shoulder, stroking him through his jacket. He
felt Loki settle, and smiled.
*
“Hey, you two!”
Trust Clint to destroy the moment.
“What do you want?” Thor asked grumpily, as Loki opened his eyes and sat up.
“To see you!” Clint said enthusiastically and spread his arms wide. “How are my
favorite Norwegians?”
Thor raised an eyebrow. “Have you been speaking to Tony?”
Clint looked confused. “No... well, yes, but why?”
“Never mind.”
Clint dropped his arms. “What are you doing up here away from everyone else?
Beer is flowing, music is playing, the pool is warm and full of beautiful
women... oh, wait... never mind. Well, it's pretty fun down there anyway. And
there's cake. Lots of cake. Come have some dessert.” Clint bounded off down the
steps, his sodden clothing leaving drips of water on the pave stones.
Loki and Thor just looked at each other.
“Do you want some dessert?” Loki asked.
“Thought you'd never ask.”
*
True to form, there were cakes of every color and size, along with ice cream,
apple pie, Jell-O (in every flavor), brownies and cheesecake. Thor's mouth
watered just looking at it all.
“Oh... my... god...” Loki said from beside him. “I don't think I've seen this
many fattening things since my 3rd birthday.”
Thor didn't wait. He grabbed a plate and filled it with as much as it could
carry. Loki, who had simply a piece of carrot cake and a scoop of vanilla ice
cream, crinkled up his nose in disgust.
“How can you have Jell-O with apple pie? And why is there fudge in your
cheesecake?”
“It's delicious!” Thor said, and raised his spoon. “Want to try?”
“Uh... no thank you.”
Thor shrugged, and proceeded to eat everything.
It took Loki just as long to eat his dessert as it did Thor, who had easily 4
times as much on his plate. Thor sighed contentedly and looked longingly at
what was left.
“No, Thor,” Loki said sternly, with a hand on his arm.
“But...”
“No!”
“Fine.”
Tony had started on the spirits by then, and Thor grabbed a rum and coke from
the table. He almost grabbed one for Loki too, but remembered in time and found
a plain ginger beer instead. He waved it at Loki, who took it off him.
“Thanks.”
Thor, who was halfway through a mouthful, just raised his glass.
*
After finishing their drinks and saying hello to a few people who looked
vaguely familiar, Thor took Loki by the hand and pulled him aside.
“Would you like the grand tour?” he asked pompously, sweeping a hand out in
front of him towards the grand staircase.
Loki giggled. “I'd love to.”
Thor led him up the stairs and into the hall on the second floor. “Bathroom...
bedroom... bedroom... bathroom... ooohh library. Wanna peek?”
Loki did.
The library was massive. It rose high above them, wooden shelves laden with
books on subjects from astronomy to zoology. Loki stood in the middle and
turned, taking in the sheer size of the space and the astronomical amount of
books. He walked over to a shelf and ran a finger over the spines, and
recognized the names.
There were the Greek tragedians – Aeschylus, Sophocles, and Loki's favorite –
Euripides; then the Old Comedy of Aristophanes and the New Comedy of Menander.
There was the poetry of Sappho and of Pindar; the histories of Herodytus,
Xenophon and Thucydides; the philosophy of Plato and Aristotle. He was in
heaven.
It was only the touch of Thor on his shoulder that made him drop his hand and
turn away from the shelves. “Promise me that we can come back and I can sit
here for hours.”
“I promise,” Thor said, his face breaking into a smile. “I even think Tony
would let you move in.”
“Really?” Loki asked, almost hopefully. Thor didn't know what to say until Loki
laughed.
Next on the itinerary was the master bedroom, which they snuck in, just to have
a look. The bed was huge – about three times as big as Thor's double bed at
home. He had once climbed on it with Tony, and they'd tried to stretch out and
touch two sides at once – they had never been able to do it. That had been many
years ago, and he wondered if he could do it now. Propriety stopped him.
They looked in the bathroom, which was larger than Thor's living room. There
was a massive sunk-in Jacuzzi bath and a separate shower with six shower heads.
Loki's mouth just dropped.
“I didn't even know people lived like this.”
“It's not bad, is it?” Thor said, pulling Loki into his chest and wrapping his
arms around him. He leaned his head on Loki's shoulder. “Maybe one day we'll be
rich and we can have a house like this.”
Loki laughed. “In my dreams!”
They stood silently for a while, just taking it in, and admiring the view from
the windows. When he'd taken in enough, Thor started to lick and suck the base
of Loki's neck.
“Mmmmm....” Loki murmured, closing his eyes and leaning into him. “I like
that.”
“I can tell,” Thor said, and nipped gently, which made Loki giggle.
“I can't believe we're doing this in Howard Stark's bathroom,” Loki said.
“Mmm. Do you think he's got cameras in here?”
“With Tony as a son? I bet he does.”
“Well... we could give him an epic show, and possibly ban Tony from ever being
alone in the house again ever, or we could move on and find an empty
bedroom...”
To Thor's amazement, Loki had to think about it. Perhaps he was naughtier than
he had been giving him credit for.
“Well, I suppose we'd better move on. Tony did ask us very politely to not fuck
in his father's bedroom. I'm assuming he mentally extended that to the bathroom
as well.”
Just hearing Loki say fuck was enough to make Thor's hormones go into
overdrive. Before his situation became too apparent, he stood back up and took
Loki's hand again. “Let us continue our journey, then.”
“Very well,” Loki said, and accepted his hand with a smile.
They carried on down the hallway to the end, and through the last door on the
left. Thor knew this room; this was normally where he slept when he stayed
overnight. He knew it had an en-suite bathroom and a lock on the door, and he
knew it was reasonably private.
Loki wandered around the room, having a look, while Thor closed the door and
turned the lock. “I like this room,” he said, running an elegant finger over
the filigree wallpaper. “It's... cosy.”
“'Cosy'”?
“Yeah. I could live here, quite happily. It's big, it's luxurious, but it's not
ostentatious, if you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, yeah I do.” Ostentatious it may not have been, but it did have a dimming
control on the light system. He turned it down until the light was soft and
just barely there. The light reflected off the delicate gold threads in the
wallpaper, making the room glow.
“Wow...” he heard Loki say softly.
“It's a beautiful effect, isn't it?”
Loki nodded, his face tinged with awe. “It's gorgeous.”
Thor stood behind him and pulled him closer, stroking the hair from Loki's
cheek so he could bend forward and kiss it. He felt Loki gasp and clutch his
hands, gripping them tight.
“Bed?” Thor murmured into his ear. He felt Loki nod.
They prised off their shoes and socks – Thor had never felt so unsexy - and
climbed onto the enormous bed. Then suddenly, it was awkward. Thor swallowed
hard, the box of condoms sitting much heavier than it should against his
stomach. Loki looked nervous and was biting his lip.
“You alright with this?” Thor asked, because he had to, and because he
remembered what Loki had said the other day about talking about it.
“Yeah. I want to do this. Just...” Loki stopped talking for a moment, and
pulled off his jacket until he was just in his shirt. “Please – and please,
don't ask why, not yet – please don't take my shirt off. Or touch me there.”
It was an odd request – and Loki looked uncomfortable just asking him – but
Thor didn't want him to feel any worse. “Yeah. That's ok,” he said, and smiled.
He lay a hand under Loki's chin and tilted his head up, until he could see his
beautiful green eyes. “If you want to stop, just tell me. I'll stop.”
Loki smiled shakily, relief in his eyes. It was another of those secrets that
baffled Thor, but for now all he could do was shove it aside for perusal at
another time. He had other things to do.
He took off his jacket, just like Loki, but didn't throw it away. He laid it on
the end of the bed, where he could still reach the condoms. Loki had begun to
relax, and was leaning against the plush pillows that lay in a mountainous heap
at the head of the bed. Thor decided he liked him there.
He arranged himself over Loki's lap, one leg either side of his thighs. Slowly,
carefully, he leaned in to kiss Loki softly, asking him to open his mouth. Then
Loki relaxed into him completely, and Thor just melted, because nothing had
ever felt like this before.
Loki's hands were all over him – running down his arms, over his shoulders,
down his chest, over his stomach. Conscious of what Loki had asked of him, he
keep his hands to Loki's arms and his hips only. He could feel the temptation
to slide his hand up Loki's chest but refrained – he'd made a promise.
“Pants,” Loki gasped, and Thor wasn't going to protest. He was hard, achingly
so, and his body was tingling with what could only be lust. He was almost
shaking from it, this need, and if the desperate look on Loki's face was any
indication, he felt the same.
He unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his jeans, but he couldn't get them off
while he was sitting on Loki. Clumsily he clambered off and staggered onto the
floor, standing upright. He wriggled his jeans off, wishing like hell he'd worn
something a little more forgiving. Up on the bed, Loki was having just as much
luck with his skinny jeans. Thor thought that if anyone was to walk in now –
lock be damned – all they'd see were a pair of idiots.
“Fuck!” Thor exclaimed as he finally pulled his jeans off. He threw them at the
wall where they slid down to lie in a slumped heap on the floor. He crawled
back onto the bed to help Loki pull his jeans off.
“God I'm never wearing those fucking things again,” Loki grumbled, but Thor
wasn't listening – he was too busy admiring Loki's legs. They were long and
well shaped, elegant, and Thor felt that his own were like a pair of tree
trunks in comparison. He noticed, as well, when he was running his hands over
the pale skin, that they were completely hairless. It suited Loki, and made the
palms of his hands tingle at the softness.
He leaned forward to kiss Loki on the lips, then bent down to kiss the top of
his thighs. He licked delicately at the skin and heard Loki gasp, and felt,
under his hands, Loki's legs begin to open. Slowly he ran his hands over Loki's
thighs and down, over his knees and around his calves, and underneath him Loki
had begun to tremble.
The dark green briefs that Loki wore were silky under Thor's fingers. He
grasped under the elastic and pulled down, and obediently Loki lifted his hips
to make it easier. Thor pulled them right off and tossed them away, sliding
back up the bed to kiss Loki's hip.
Loki was hard, his cock thick and full. Thor felt his heart stutter – because
this was it - and then he leaned forward to kiss the head, just the head. Loki
gasped, his body shuddering, and Thor took that as a good sign. He slid his
hand around it and grasped the base, feeling the silky hardness under his skin.
He slid his hand up and down, wet pre-come dampening his palm to ease the way.
When Loki began to moan, his toes curling, Thor bent forward and took the head
of his cock into his mouth. Loki cried out and Thor felt hands on his head, and
in his hair. He sucked lightly, letting his tongue swirl around the head, and
gripped just a little bit harder.
“Ohhhh fuck!” he heard Loki cry out, and figured he had to be doing something
right. He didn't stop, just looked up at Loki to see him in utter ecstasy, his
face contorted with pleasure. Thor moved his hand a little faster, sucked even
harder, and not a full minute had passed before Loki began to jerk, his hands
tight in Thor's hair, and then he was crying out that he was coming and Thor
was trying to swallow, one hand on Loki's thigh to try and keep him still.
“Jesus Christ...” Loki whimpered, panting for breath. Thor wiped his mouth and
moved up to kiss him. “I'm sorry, I don't normally... not normally so quick,”
Loki said between lungfuls of air. Thor just smiled and kissed him again.
Watching Loki – feeling him, tasting him, bringing him such pleasure – had left
Thor in almost desperate straits. He tugged off his shirt (and noticed the way
Loki looked at him) and pulled off his boxers, and then Loki was on him. He
leaned back as Loki ran a hand over his chest, sliding over the muscles and
feeling their hard steel shifting under his skin. Another hand gripped his
cock, smearing pre-come over the head with a thumb. Loki bent down and engulfed
him, swallowing him whole, and Thor nearly came then and there.
All he could do was lay back and try to recover his wits, because Loki had such
a tongue – it was doing things to him that nobody had done before, and this was
a whole new world, a whole new feeling... He gasped for breath and squeezed his
eyes closed, trying to think of anything that could stop him from giving in,
but nothing was working and all he could do was shout a warning as he came,
shuddering and moaning. Loki licked him clean and then kissed him back to life,
where it was his turn to mumble an apology, which Loki dismissed with a smile.
“The night is young,” he joked, and Thor knew they weren't finished yet.
They kissed for a while, the taste of each other in their mouths, and Thor held
Loki as close as he could. He wasn't sure if they fell asleep or just lay
there, but then Loki was nibbling at his ear again, and sparks of pleasure were
bolting down his spine. As he came to fully Loki was shifting onto his back,
spreading his legs and urging Thor between them. Thor just nodded dumbly, then
remembered the lube and condoms and sat up to retrieve his jacket. He forced
the sticky zip down and pulled out the bottle and the box before throwing the
jacket on the floor.
Loki looked at him with a smile. “You aren't the only one who came prepared,”
he said breathlessly, and nodded towards his own jacket.
Thor caught on and laughed. “Well, if we run out, at least we have spares.”
Loki giggled. In the soft light his dark hair appeared even blacker, shining
like the blanket of ebony sky outside. His eyes, normally so green, were dark
and wide, his pupils dilated with arousal. Thor could see him breathe, and
realized he was acutely aware of Loki, as if his senses were tuned to him
alone.
He had to stop, just to kiss him. “This is ok, right?” he whispered, and in the
dim light he saw Loki nod. “Good.” He reached for the bottle of lube as Loki
reached for the condoms, and as he flicked open the bottle and smeared his
fingers with the gooey liquid Loki was ripping open a packet. He felt a hand on
his cock, stroking him back to full hardness, and it felt so good he stopped
for a moment, just to watch Loki.
“Thor...” Loki murmured, and looked up at him. “Touch me.”
Thor wasn't going to protest. He laid one hand on Loki's inner thigh and the
other drifted down, to rub softly over his entrance. Loki shuddered and moaned,
long and low, and through gritted teeth he begged Thor for more. With as much
care as he could muster, Thor entered him with one finger.
It was hot, and tight, but not so tight that Loki was uncomfortable, for he
cried out with pleasure and bucked his hips. Thor pressed deeper and felt Loki
clench around him, but it was only for a moment and then he was relaxing, and
Thor withdrew. Loki was vocal with his displeasure, and Thor apologized,
stroking his fingers over his thigh. He spread more lube on his finger and
entered him again, this time thrusting his finger in and out. Loki moaned and
spread his legs even further, his breathing heavy and deep.
“More,” Loki begged. “Please.”
Thor withdrew his finger again and slid another back in alongside it, and as he
thrust in and out he changed the angle and the depth until he brushed up
against Loki's prostate. Loki jerked, crying out in surprise and pleasure, and
then he was pleading to Thor to not stop. He slid another finger in beside the
first two, his other hand bracing Loki's bent thigh. He bent forward to kiss
Loki's hip and then his cock.
“Fuck me,” Loki demanded, and Thor wasn't going to say no. Loki was rolling the
condom over his erection as he pulled out his fingers, and between them they
lubed his cock with sticky hands. Loki's hand reached down to grasp him, and as
he arranged himself on the pillows he guided Thor to his hole. Thor could feel
Loki trying to clench around him and didn't hesitate, whispering to Loki to
relax as he pushed.
He slid in easier than he anticipated, and Loki voiced his approval, hands
flying to Thor's shoulders.
“Oh fuck... hard!” Loki demanded, his eyes dark and desperate.
Thor gripped his hips and slid deeper, then withdrew completely and thrust back
in, impossibly glad that he'd already come because this was incredible, this
was going to break him... he wasn't going to last. He had barely the capacity
to think that this was everything he'd wanted, that he'd wanted to be inside
Loki like this since the day he saw him, and now he was doing it...
Loki's fingernails were digging into the skin of his back as he held on, his
body open and pliant beneath Thor as they fucked. Thor bent down to kiss him,
swallowing his cries, not caring that the screams that he couldn't hide were
probably mingling with the noise of the music outside.
He felt like he was falling apart, like nothing could exist after this. He
didn't want this to end but he could feel his orgasm building already, and Loki
was screaming, begging for more, his fingernails scraping down his back... He
pulled Loki's hips up and thrust harder, and he must have found the right spot
because Loki's body was shaking and jerking under his hands. There were tears
glistening on Loki's cheeks and he kissed them away, their bodies fitting
together as though they were the same.
“Thor...!” Loki gasped and then he was coming, clenching and shaking, and Thor
kissed him and kissed him and felt him tremble underneath him. He watched as
Loki gasped for breath, his dark eyes shining with tears, and didn't ever want
to let go.
Loki's hands were tightening on his waist, asking him to keep going even though
he'd never really stopped, and so he thrust deeper and harder and saw Loki cry
out in pleasure again, even so soon after his orgasm. It was Loki, really, who
pushed him over the edge – he couldn't see anything else, because there wasn't
anything beyond the two of them, and when Loki clenched around him and told him
to come, he did. He felt his body convulse, though he couldn't move, and
something just exploded inside him, filling him up with something
indescribable. He could barely hold himself up. As his breath came back,
slowly, he felt Loki's fingers trail down his cheek.
As carefully as he could, he slid out and fell on the bed next to Loki, who
rolled over and pressed himself into his arms.
“Jesus Christ,” Thor swore, making Loki giggle tiredly.
They couldn't talk for a moment, just laid there and touched each other, bodies
tangled together.
“Was it worth waiting for?” Loki asked, when he could.
“Every second,” Thor said, and pulled Loki in for a deep kiss.
He reached for the box of tissues on the bedside table and pulled out a bunch,
his arms still shaking. He pulled off the condom and wrapped it up. Loki's come
was sticky on his stomach and he wiped it off, then wrapped it all in a clean
tissue and tucked it on the table.
He was exhausted, though he would never admit it, and Loki must have been just
as tired because he flopped on Thor's chest and closed his eyes. He drifted his
fingers through Loki's black hair and tried to relax, but he was so pumped from
sex and from finally doing it that it was a while before he could even control
his breathing.
Loki giggled against his chest, which didn't help. “What?” Thor asked.
“You're still so tense,” Loki said, and lifted his head. “Is once just not
enough for you?”
Thor raised an eyebrow. “Perhaps not. Maybe that's my problem.”
Loki grinned wickedly. With one devilish eye on Thor he reached for the box of
condoms and pulled one out. “It's ok darling. This time I can do all the work.”
Thor nearly came again.
Loki's delicate hands stroked down his cock, and defying every previous sexual
encounter that Thor had ever had, he was as hard as a rock by the time Loki
slipped the condom on. This time Thor just lay there and watched as Loki spread
lube over him, but then his brain broke through the sex-induced fog and he
raised his hands to Loki's hips as he straddled his thighs. He held him as Loki
reached for his cock, and all he could do was choke as he watched Loki lower
himself, guiding him in, and if it was possible, it was even better than
before.
“Oh Jesus, Loki, Loki...” Thor murmured, and he couldn't keep his hands still
as Loki sunk down on him, and rubbed his thighs and his arms and his face, and
pulled him down to kiss him.
Loki broke the kiss with a gasp and braced himself with his hands on the pillow
by Thor's head. He raised his hips and lowered himself again, and Thor coaxed
him into a rhythm with hands guiding his hips.
From where he lay, Thor could look down and see Loki taking him in again and
again, and he could see every emotion that writ itself across his beautiful
face, and all of it made his blood burn and his body tremble with pleasure. He
watched as Loki panted with the exertion and the ecstasy, and felt his heart
ache, because nothing he could say or do could possibly capture the love and
desire that was filling him right at that moment.
Loki was gasping his name and pressing into him, desperate for touch, and Thor
wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer. He pressed kiss after kiss
into his hair and on his mouth, and began to thrust upwards, meeting Loki as he
came down.
He slid a hand between their bodies to fist Loki's cock, wanting to feel him
come undone, and when Loki's rhythm collapsed he knew he had him, and he
squeezed harder, and harder...
Loki roared in his ear, his orgasm shooting through his body like a
thunderbolt, so powerful that Thor could almost feel it himself. He didn't need
any coaxing, just held Loki's hips tight and thrust into him one more time
before giving in, and Loki's orgasm was still shaking his limbs as Thor
succumbed to his.
Then afterwards all Thor could do was hold onto Loki and press his lips to his
hair. He could feel Loki's heartbeat against his chest, could hear him
breathing. He couldn't imagine being anywhere else.
“You ok?” he whispered.
Loki sighed, then shifted until he was staring down at Thor. His hair was a
mess and his lip was red from where he'd been biting it. “Holy crap,” he
breathed, and started to giggle. Thor joined him.
Loki was still laughing when he rolled off and fell onto the bed next to Thor.
“God that was amazing,” he said, and covered his face with his hands. “Fuck.”
“You swear a lot more during sex than you do any other time,” Thor observed.
Loki stared at him. “That's what you noticed most from us having sex? That I
swear a lot?” he asked, and grinned.
Thor chuckled. “Oh believe me, I noticed a lot.” He rolled over to face Loki.
“But you know what? There are some things I'm not sure about. I might need more
practice.”
Loki smiled. “You can have as much practice as you like,” he said softly, and
stroked a hand down Thor's cheek. “Any time.”
“Good,” Thor whispered, and turned to kiss his finger.
He was softening and the condom was threatening to fall off, so he pulled it
off and wrapped it in another tissue. He wiped his hand and gathered the
tissues together. “I'll be back.” He stood up and padded to the bathroom,
flicking on the light. It was a bit embarrassing tossing the used condoms in
the trash, but he figured it was less embarrassing than leaving them on the
floor. Anyway, it was a Stark party – what else could the cleaners possibly
expect?
He washed his hands and his face, then found a clean washcloth and dampened it.
Loki looked asleep as he wandered back into the bedroom, his eyes closed and
his face peaceful. He was laying on his back with his hands up by his head, and
Thor bent to kiss him before he climbed back on the bed.
“Uhhhfff,” Loki mumbled, as Thor's movements disturbed him. “Wha is it?”
“Nothing,” Thor said reassuringly, and kissed his forehead. “Go back to sleep.”
While Loki dozed he cleaned him gently, trying hard not to wake him again. He
tossed the facecloth in the general direction of the bathroom and pulled a
blanket up from the end of the bed to cover them both. Remembering Loki's
curfew, he found his phone and set the alarm for 12.30am. Pulling Loki into his
arms, he fell asleep.
*
The alarm's incessant beeping woke him up far too soon. He felt sluggish, like
he was moving through quick sand, and in the end it was Loki who threw out a
hand to grab the phone and turn the alarm off.
“Can we go back to sleep?” Loki asked, and Thor didn't have to look at him to
hear how tired he was.
“No,” he groaned. “Gotta take you home.”
“Fuck,” Loki swore, though it was partially muffled by the pillow he was
holding over his head.
Thor didn't want to get up. He was perfectly comfortable here, in this plush,
gigantic bed, holding Loki. The thought of getting up was repugnant.
But the thought of falling asleep and missing Loki's curfew (and his, though he
was less concerned about that one) was almost worse. He didn't want Loki's
parents to be angry at him and ground him, if that's what they were like. He
also didn't want them going off him because he couldn't get their baby home in
time.
“Up,” he said, and pulled the pillow off Loki's head.
*
By the time they'd found all their clothes and staggered into them (Loki needed
a bit of help with the skinny jeans) it was almost a quarter to 1. Thor took
Loki's hand and led him downstairs, where evidently the party was still raging.
Thor had hoped to sneak out without being noticed, but he didn't think that was
going to happen.
Thankfully, the only person they encountered that they knew was Tasha, who took
one look at them and raised an eyebrow. “Congratulations,” she said dryly, and
raised her glass.
“Um, thanks?” Thor said, and walked faster.
It was quiet outside. The moon was full and high, casting a luminescent glow as
they walked to the car. It was so peaceful neither broke the silence. They were
nearly there when Loki jerked his hand and stopped, staring at something past
Thor.
“What is it?” Thor asked, and Loki threw a finger up to his lips as if to say
quiet. Then he extended an arm and pointed towards the grove of palm trees that
framed an elegant pond. Squinting in the darkness, Thor could just make out a
couple making out under one of the trees. He was just about to ask Loki why he
was so fascinated when something made him take a second look.
It was Tony and Steve.
Thor had to clasp a hand over his mouth to hide his gasp. Beside him, Loki was
smiling, his eyes shining in the moonlight.
“About time, isn't it,” Loki whispered, and then leaned in for a kiss of his
own. Thor obliged, pulling him close. “I don't want to go home,” Loki
whispered, playing with the zip on Thor's leather jacket. “I want to stay with
you.”
Thor's heart ached. “I don't want to leave you either.” They stood together for
a few minutes more, just being with each other until reality pressed upon them
and they wandered reluctantly to the car.
*
The streets were deserted. Thor drove slowly, one hand on Loki's thigh.
“Can you come over tomorrow?” he asked.
Loki played with his hands. “I can ask. But after tonight...” He sighed, and
sounded so unhappy that Thor wanted to stop the car just to give him a hug.
“It's not that my parents are strict, it's just that I can't ask them to – no,
I mean it's not fair on them...”
“What's not fair on them?” Thor asked, confused.
Loki looked angry at himself, as if he'd said something he shouldn't have, and
shook his head. “Nothing, uh I'm just tired, sorry.”
Thor didn't say anything, just squeezed his thigh.
They didn't speak again until they reached Loki's house. The porch light was on
and the path lit, but Thor still got out of the car to walk him to the front
door.
“Just text me if you can, ok?” he asked softly. “Or text me if you can't. Just
text me.” Loki smiled, and Thor was pleased to see it. “Now, get inside and get
to bed before you fall over.”
“Yes Sir,” Loki said. “But not without a kiss.”
Thor obliged.
***** Chapter 9 *****
Chapter Notes
     Wow. So it's been ages since I've been able to post. Ten thousand
     apologies and my first born!!! :O
Thor woke late the next morning. He'd slept so soundly he hadn't dreamed at
all, but for half a second before he woke thoroughly he thought that perhaps it
had all been a dream – the party, Loki, what they had done together - and the
pain that hit him felt like a physical blow. Then realization rushed over him
like a wave and the relief and then exhilaration that exploded inside him left
him breathless.
He almost didn't want to get up – he wanted to stay in bed and relive every
moment in his head (and perhaps his pants) but he felt restless and wanted to
move. He showered quickly and dressed, and then said a hurried good morning to
his startled mother before grabbing a Pop-Tart (brown sugar cinnamon) and
walking out the door.
The day was cloudless and bright, so clear he could see for miles, though the
brilliance of the day faded in comparison to everything that had happened. He
barely noticed anything around him as he walked, eating absentmindedly. He
remembered being with Loki – that moment of being physically and emotionally
joined, where nothing else existed and the only thing that mattered was the
feeling that they shared – and having to leave him afterwards, when the only
thing he wanted to do was hold him close for the rest of the night.
Without thinking, his feet led him to Loki's house. He looked up and there it
was, as obvious in the day as it had been at 2 minutes to 1 the previous night.
There were no signs of activity, no signs anyone was even home, but he sat down
on a low wall that surrounded the neighbor's property and texted Loki.
“Hey babe :) u home?”
The answer came just two minutes later. “Yeah :) why??”
Thor hesitated before he texted back. Just a few seconds, mind. “Im outside ur
house.” He could just about see the look on Loki's face.
“Are you serious?? Stalker :P” Thor thought of it more as being “especially
caring”, but, well, semantics.
“Deadly.”
“Stay there. Be 2 mins.”
Thor could set his watch by Loki's timekeeping skills. No more than two minutes
had passed before the front door opened and Loki slipped out, looking for him.
Thor stood, suddenly feeling slightly self-conscious, but Loki smiled and Thor
found himself filled with something that made his heart beat faster in his
chest.
“Hey,” Loki said and hugged him, and Thor wrapped his arms around him. Loki
buried his head in Thor's neck and just for a little while, at least, they were
completely at peace.
“How are you?” Thor mumbled, somewhere near Loki's ear (he hoped, there was an
awful lot of hair there).
“I'm good,” Loki said brightly, and stood properly, but held onto Thor's
forearms. “And I got to sleep in.”
Thor chuckled. “First time in how long?”
Loki flushed, but smiled. “Months.”
“Maybe I should take you out more often then.”
“Maybe you should,” Loki murmured, and leaned up to kiss him. Thor held him for
what seemed like a long time, but was probably only minutes, and kissed him
back until they were both breathless. Loki leaned his forehead against Thor's
and closed his eyes, and not for first time Thor found himself feeling fiercely
protective. He stroked Loki's hair and pulled him closer, not giving a damn
that they were in full view of the road and anyone who might have been driving
past.
“What are you even doing here?” Loki asked, his voice partially muffled by
Thor's shoulder.
“Felt like a walk. Ended up here. Shouldn't have been surprised really.”
“I knew you were stalking me.”
“Stalking is so much less fun when the person knows about it.”
“I don't want to know how you know that.”
“Just ask my previous victims.”
Loki gave him a weak jab to the ribs and Thor pretended to be winded. “That's
domestic abuse,” he said, feigning tears.
“That's you being an idiot.”
“I'm hurt.”
“I can tell.”
Thor chuckled and kissed his cheek. “How long can you stay out here for?” he
asked.
Loki made a face. “Not long.”
“Long enough to go get some food with me? Lunch on me. Please?” Thor pleaded,
doing his best impression of a wounded puppy.
Loki couldn't help but smile. “I'll ask. Give me a few minutes, ok?”
“I'm not going anywhere.”
“Didn't think you were.” Loki gave him a devilish look and ran back inside.
Thor sat back down and twiddled his thumbs.
Loki was back, 5 minutes later, jacket in hand. “I have an hour,” he said, and
Thor figured it was better than nothing.
“Perfect.”
*
They headed to the burger joint, walking slowly, and talking about everything
except what had happened last night. Neither wished to discuss it because they
felt they had no need to; it existed in their minds and their memories as
something venerable and talking about it almost seemed sacrilegious.
Which was all slightly ridiculous, Thor mused, because really, it was just sex,
but it was his first time with Loki (and it was freaking amazing) so perhaps it
therefore deserved such thinking. Perhaps the next time wouldn't, just for the
fact it wouldn't be the first. Then he could talk about it. Thor shook his head
and tried to stop thinking, it was starting to hurt.
“You ok?” Loki asked, and squeezed his hand.
“Yeah. Just thinking.”
“Oh. Sounds painful.”
“Shut up.”
*
The burgers came quickly, hot and delicious, and Loki ate his the same way he
did when Thor first brought him here – with tiny noises of pleasure that had
made Thor think of Loki in bed, and it made him squirm now to think that yes,
those noises were so very like the same that Loki had made just last night,
open and willing beneath him – he had to think quickly of saggy old ladies and
gruesome horror movies in a desperate attempt to leave the zipper of his jeans
intact. In his discomfort he took a larger bite of his burger than he had
intended and nearly choked.
He was a little put out that Loki laughed at him but he did see the funny side
after he'd recovered and drunk half his coke, and gently kicked Loki under the
table to make him shut up.
“If that ever happens to you, I'll make sure to laugh.”
Of course, that just set Loki off again. Thor found himself grinning like an
idiot after a moment because Loki was gloriously beautiful when he was so
happy, and there was still a part of him that just couldn't believe Loki was
his. If it wasn't so cliched, he'd pinch himself.
When they'd finished, and Loki still had 20 minutes before he had to be home,
Thor took his hand and lead him a different way home. There was a park, just
two blocks from Loki's, that spanned several acres and down the back, past the
playground and the picnic areas, was a grove of regal oak trees. They were ages
old, older than the town, and Thor had spent more time than he could possibly
remember climbing the branches and collecting their acorns as he'd grown, and
he still remembered it all now – still remembered the lone weeping willow that
sat amongst them, so foreign with its curtain of green leaves that hung to the
ground. They wandered through the oaks, and Loki looked up but couldn't see the
sky, just thick branches heavy with leaves, and yet the sunlight pushed down in
dapples to dot the ground with light. It was peaceful and quiet, and when Thor
pushed through the leaves of the willow and led him through it was as if they
were the only people for miles.
They sat with their backs to the willow, feeling the rough bark against their
skin even through their shirts. Loki leaned against Thor and closed his eyes,
and beyond the buzzing of insects and the calling of birds there was nothing to
hear; nothing to see except the green curtain of leaves that surrounded them.
Thor swallowed down the wish that he didn't want to leave and decided to enjoy
what time they did have instead.
He slid his arm around Loki and pulled him closer until Loki was pressed into
him, their bodies tight against one another. His fingers splayed through smooth
black hair, letting the strands glide over his skin. He bent to kiss Loki's
temple and let his lips linger as Loki sighed happily beneath him.
“Do you have to go?” Thor murmured, with a hint of a smile.
Loki smiled and looked up at him. “You know I would stay if I could.”
“I know,” Thor said, and kissed him again. “But you're 17, surely your parents
can start letting you out of the house without written permission.”
Loki's eyes narrowed in confusion, and then he laughed. “Oh my god. I'm sorry.
I guess... I didn't...”
“Didn't what?” Thor asked, thoroughly bewildered.
Loki pursed his lips, then spoke. “I'm not 17. I skipped a year.”
“Skipped... oh.” Thor's mouth stopped working at the same time as his brain.
“I'm 16.”
“... Wow.” Thor felt as though someone had beaten him over the head with an
inflatable hammer. “Huh.”
“Yup.”
“I take back what I said about written permission. I wouldn't let you out with
me either. Wait, you are legal, aren't you?”
Loki was giggling so hard it took him a moment to answer. “Yes, Thor. Perfectly
legal.”
“Oh good.”
Thor recovered quickly. It wasn't that much of a big deal anyway, though he did
have to reconsider just how smart Loki was – if he was practically top of the
class in everything having come in halfway through the last semester of the
yearand a year younger than everyone to boot, then he was on a whole other
level entirely. Thor decided to read more Shakespeare. Or at least google it.
“I should go soon,” Loki said reluctantly.
That was the last thing Thor wanted, but he was too old to throw a tantrum and
tried to be cheerful about it instead. “Can I escort you home?”
Loki smiled at him, so brilliantly that it took Thor's breath away. “I'd love
you to.”
“Consider it done.” Thor held out a hand and helped Loki to his feet. They
brushed aside the willow leaves and walked slowly down under the avenue of
ancient oaks, as silent as the trees.
It was almost a shock to come back out on the footpath, where cars and trucks
blasted past spewing noise and smoke, after the quiet serenity of the park. But
reality had beckoned, as it tended to do, they found themselves back in the
real world, albeit reluctantly.
Thor held Loki's hand and walked him home, each step taking him closer to the
place where he'd have to leave him again. One day, he hoped, he'd be walking
inside too.
Remembering that he had to be cheerful, Thor tried to distract himself. “What
are you doing tomorrow?” he asked, secretly hoping he could whisk Loki away
again, for however brief a time.
“Briana has an appointment with a specialist two hours from here,” Loki said,
looking up at Thor. His green eyes gave away a sort of uncertainty, of barely
disguised worry. “I think it's going to take all day.”
“Is everything ok?' Thor asked, suddenly concerned, because he didn't like to
see Loki so worried.
Loki moved as if to speak, and then seemed to change his mind. After a moment,
he tried again. “I don't know... Briana, she sometimes finds it hard to sleep
at night, she doesn't breathe properly... the doctor thought maybe she had a
viral respiratory infection but it hasn't gone away.” And he looked so sad,
biting through his lower lip, worrying the chapped skin. “I... It's... I don't
know what it is.” He shook his head, as if annoyed at himself, and Thor thought
he saw Loki’s eyes grow suspiciously shiny.
“Oh hey, it's ok” he said quietly, and stopped. “It'll be ok.” He pulled Loki
towards him and wrapped his arms around him. He held Loki for a few minutes,
pretty sure they were blocking the footpath and not caring, until Loki had
gathered himself together and gave Thor a shaky smile. “Yeah. She'll be fine. I
should stop worrying.”
“It's natural to worry,” Thor said, as he took Loki's hand again and they
continued walking.
“Yeah I know.” Loki sighed heavily and shook his head again, as if to clear his
mind of bad thoughts. “But I shouldn't get so wound up.”
Thor just smiled at him and squeezed his hand, because truthfully, he hadn't
ever been in Loki's position and he had no idea what it would be like.
When they reached Loki's house, they stood for a while on the doorstep. Thor
had never considered himself much of a romantic, but clearly he had
underestimated himself, because by the time he'd finished his extra-special
goodbye to Loki the black-haired teen was flushed, giggling madly and his eyes
were dark and wide. When he disappeared inside, Thor briefly hoped that his
parents wouldn't think they'd just been doing something they shouldn't have.
*
With Loki out the next day, Thor found himself bored. He texted Tasha and
begged her for company, though it wasn't until he'd promised to pay for movie
tickets that she agreed to abandon her reading and come out with him.
They met where they usually did, outside an abandoned house on Thurston Street.
A few years ago they'd all dared each other to go inside, though it was Tony
who made them all wait until after dark. Armed with nothing more than a few
torches and Tony's wit, they'd crept in through a broken basement window. There
was nothing inside except for pieces of broken furniture and the odd syringe or
used condom and piles of stinking rubbish. By the time they'd finished prying
around they were less scared of it than they were just plain disgusted. They
hadn't gone back inside since.
Tasha was sitting on the fence, eyes closed, bathing in the sun that streamed
down around them. It was a beautiful day, though Thor hadn't really noticed –
he was still waiting to hear back from Loki about how Briana's appointment had
gone.
“So, someone got lucky the other night,” she drawled as she heard him coming,
eyes still closed. She hadn't moved.
Thor blushed and thanked the gods that she couldn't see it.
“You're blushing, aren't you?” she asked, smirking.
Thor just groaned and sat down beside her. She opened her eyes and turned to
face him, her red curls bunched tight. She didn't say anything, just raised one
of her rather expressive eyebrows.
“...maybe?” Thor squeaked.
“'Maybe?'” she repeated sarcastically. This time, both of her eyebrows went up.
“It was written all over your face, clear as day. Not to mention the messy hair
and the crumbled clothes and the way Loki looked like he was about to keel
over. I don't know if you've noticed Thor, but he's a little bit smaller than
you. I'd proceed with caution when it comes to fucking the living daylights out
of him.”
Thor pouted. “He wanted it.”
“I'll bet.”
Thor looked at her. “What do you mean?”
“What do I mean? I mean that the kid looks far too innocent for his own good.
You just know the innocent looking ones are the ones that really aren’t.” She
said it so matter-of-factly that Thor found it hard to argue, even though he
knew her argument was fundamentally flawed. Some days there was just no arguing
with her. And Loki hadn't exactly been shy. Before he could say anything, she
spoke. “So was it good?”
“Yes.”
“Mind-blowingly good?”
“Yes!”
“So good you could just about hear the screams coming from that bedroom you
normally sleep in?”
Thor nearly fell off the fence. “You heard?”
“Who didn't. Well, no, ok, I happened to be walking past. That boyfriend of
yours isn't exactly quiet.”
Thor relaxed a little, glad the entire party hadn't heard them having sex. It
was still incredibly embarrassing though.
Tasha seemed to read his mind, and softened. “Look, it's ok. Really.”
Thor bit his lip. “You don't think we had sex too early do you?”
“Did you both want it?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you both enjoy it? Wait, don't answer that one, I know it already.”
“Tasha!”
“Whhhaatt?”
Thor sulked. “It was great.”
“So why the hell are you so hung up about it?”
“I'm not hung up about it! You brought it up!”
“Hmmphh. True. Well, we're gonna miss this movie if you don't hurry your buff
ass up. Where is Loki anyway?”
“Gone out.”
She nodded. “So I'm your second choice, am I?” she asked, but Thor had known
her long enough to know that she was jesting. She grinned, nudged him with her
fist, jumped off the fence and started walking. “Come on, big boy!”
Thor didn't have much of a choice. He started walking.
*
Thor couldn't remember what movie they ended up seeing. He kept checking his
phone, looking for text messages from Loki, but nothing came through.
Afterwards, when Tasha asked him if he liked the movie, he lied and said yes.
*
He spent the rest of the afternoon on his bed, alternating between staring at
his ceiling and staring at his phone. When his eyes started to cross, he gave
up and stared at his laptop instead.
*
By 6pm, he was starting to worry. Loki hadn't texted him since 8.30am that
morning, when he'd sent one saying they were leaving and they would be back by
4pm that afternoon at the latest. It was unusual for them to go more than a few
hours without texting, so this was a hell of a long time to wait.
*
By 9pm, he was starting to panic. He phoned Loki three times, but the phone
rang and rang. He left three voice messages, trying hard not to sound
desperate, but by the last one his voice had started to crack.
When he hadn't heard anything by 10pm, he phoned Steve.
“What the hell Thor, it's late!”
“I know! But I'm worried!”
“Worried about what?”
“Loki was going out for the day and he said that they'd be back by 4pm but it's
10pm now and he's not answering texts or answering the phone and I'm really
worried and do you know if they have come home yet?” He said it in such a rush
he had to stop and breathe, but he barely noticed because the only thing that
mattered was what Steve could tell him.
He heard Steve sigh. “Ok. Look, I'll just go downstairs and check, alright?
Give me a minute.”
“Yeah. Thank you,” he added, when he realized he was probably being a bit rude.
There was silence for a moment, then hushed voices in the background – was that
Tony? - then he could hear Steve going down the stairs and the click of the
door as it opened.
Thor was getting so anxious he started to wear a hole in the knee of his jeans
with a finger. He was so worried about Loki and why he hadn't called or texted
that he was just about prepared to go over to Loki's himself.
“Thor? You there?”
“Yes!”
“Thor, no-one's home. Car's not there, lights are all off. I even knocked on
the door and no-one answered.”
Thor didn't know what to feel. On the one hand, he was relieved that Loki
didn't seem to be deliberately ignoring him – if he was home and still not
replying to texts and calls then Thor would have been devastated. That would
have opened the little box in his head where he kept the almost unthinkable
notions of Loki leaving him and hating him forever. On the other hand, it was
concerning because why weren't they home? Was something really wrong with
Briana? Loki had seemed really worried. Or what if their car had broken down
and they were stranded by the side of the road in the middle of nowhere?
He just didn't know what to think any more.
“Thor? You there?” Steve asked, concerned.
“Yeah. Yeah, I'm here. Thanks man. I dunno... I dunno why they aren't home.”
Steve must have heard the worry in his voice. “It'll be ok, Thor. It's probably
nothing major. They'll be home soon, I'm sure. You'll probably see him tomorrow
at school.”
“Yeah. You're right. Thanks man.”
“No worries.” Then Steve hung up, and Thor was left a bundle of twitchy,
anxious nerves all night.
*
He was pretty sure he hadn't gotten any sleep. He gave up entirely at 5.30am
and got ready for school, giving his mother one hell of a fright when she came
to wake him up and found him already dressed.
Breakfast was Pop-Tarts again, though he could barely taste it and threw the
second away before he'd even finished the first. He left early so he could walk
in the opposite direction and go past Loki's, but nothing had changed – the
house was still empty. He rang the bell and waited and waited, but no-one came
to the door.
He walked the rest of the way to school with a heavy heart.
*
Tasha pulled him aside between first and second period.
“What's up?” she asked, her eyes wide with concern. “You look like someone
stole your puppy. Then ran over it.”
“I don't have a puppy.”
“Thor, seriously? What is it?”
Thor sighed. “Loki was supposed to be home at about 4pm yesterday, but they
still aren't back and he's not answering his phone. I don't know what's
happened.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
Thor could see her biting the inside of her cheek, something she always did
when she was worried. “I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation and they'll be
home soon,” she said, and it was exactly what Thor would have expected his
mother to say. It didn't make anything any easier.
The corridors were emptying, everyone was disappearing into classrooms. Thor
was late for Economics.
“I'll see you at study,” he said morosely, and dragged himself to class.
*
He just sat there at study, staring at his food until Tony decided he wasn't
going to eat it and stole it. He looked up as Tony scoffed it, not giving a
damn about the food but remembering suddenly the image of Tony and Steve
kissing under the trees that night. His mouth opened, as if he was going to say
something, then he realized that no-one else had and whatever it was that had
gone on between the two, they weren't ready for anyone to know about it yet.
Looking back down again, he closed his mouth and pretended that he hadn't
noticed just how close Tony and Steve were sitting.
*
By the end of the school day, Thor was so wound up he felt simultaneously ready
to cry and to scream. He had no control over this situation, no way to change
anything or make Loki come back or make everything right again. He was so
anxious that something had gone wrong and Loki (or Briana) was hurt that he was
fairly shaking with it all. Tasha had asked him half a billion times if he was
ok and even Steve and Tony were beginning to look concerned. He brushed them
off with a mumble about how everything was ok (when it really wasn't) and took
off home.
He walked home past Loki's, ready to be disappointed but secretly hoping that
someone would be home. He wasn't prepared for the rush of utter despair that
swamped him when he saw that the house was still empty, or for the crushing
grip around his heart that poured fear into his veins. By now, he was utterly
convinced that something had gone terribly wrong.
***** Chapter 10 *****
Chapter Notes
     Ahhhh I'm so sorry for leaving the last chapter where I did!! BAD
     me!! Here is the next chapter to ease your fears :)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
That night was torturous. He fell into a half-sleep at around 2am, his mind
still running a mile a minute, terrified that something had happened and he
hadn't been there. He dreamed of Loki, who was holding Briana, both standing on
a hill so far away from him that he knew, intrinsically, that he could never
get there. Yet he could see Loki and Briana as clear as day, and Loki was
screaming and Briana was crying but he couldn't hear anything, and all he could
do was stand there and watch helplessly...
He awoke at 5.23am, sheets tangled around his legs, body covered in sweat. For
a moment he just lay there, heart beating so fast he could almost hear it, and
he just stared into the darkness as if it held all the answers. Out of habit he
checked his phone, but it was a waste of effort and for a brief moment he
wanted to throw it against the wall, watch it smash into a thousand pieces. But
then Loki's face flashed in his mind and he stilled his hand, because surely,
at some point, Loki would try to get hold of him and if he wasn't there...
He didn't want to think about that.
He showered under frost-cold water, hardly feeling the sting of the chill as it
crawled under his skin. Hunger gnawed at his stomach and he ate a slice of
unbuttered toast, not caring that it stuck in his mouth and in his throat. He
left the house before his mother had even awoken, leaving a short note on the
table so she wouldn't panic.
The streets were practically deserted. There was the odd jogger and a couple of
people walking dogs, but the sun was still rising sluggishly and most people
were still in bed. The day stretched ahead of him, insufferably long without
Loki there. And still, he had no answer - where was he?
By the time the others arrived at school Thor had been there for over an hour.
Tasha was there first. She slid down next to him where he was slouched against
a wall, and didn't say anything. That was one of the things Thor loved about
Tasha. She knew him better than almost anybody – she knew what he needed to
hear, and what he didn't. They sat in silence, not needing words to speak.
Bruce joined them at some point, eating a cinnamon roll that had deposited its
frosting onto his shirt. He hadn't noticed, and buried himself in a physics
textbook after a quiet “Hello”.
Steve and Tony arrived together, with quiet smiles meant only for each other.
Thor looked on in utter jealousy – that should have been he and Loki. But Loki
was gone, and he didn't know why. If Steve or Tony noticed Thor's depressed
state they didn't anything, which he was grateful for. Speaking out loud would
have just made it real, and at that point in time he didn't know if he could
handle that.
When the bell rang Tasha dragged him up and walked with him to class. As the
school bustled around them, Thor found his voice. “Where's Clint?” he asked,
somewhat hoarsely.
“Oh. Didn't I tell you? Clint's mom had her baby yesterday. He's at hospital
with her.”
“Clint's mom was pregnant?”
Tasha looked at him as if he was stupid. “Yes. For about 9 months, believe it
or not.”
Thor's words disappeared again. Tasha gave him a small, reassuring smile as he
went one way and she another.
*
Thor didn't know how he made it through the first two classes. He sat in a
daze, waiting and waiting and waiting for the buzz in his pocket that meant
Loki was calling him, but it never came. By the time the bell for recess had
rung Thor just wanted to cry.
“You should go home,” Tasha said, her eyes wide with concern. “You look
terrible.”
“I feel terrible.”
“I don't blame you.” She stopped walked and turned to face him, making him stop
and blocking the flow of students around them. “Look, Thor, go home. You are no
use to anyone here. Make an excuse at the office or something. Just... I don't
think you should be here right now.”
Thor knew she was right, but that didn't stop him protesting. “What if Loki
comes into school? And I'm not here? What then?”
She sighed. “Then I will call you, you twit. Now, fuck off.” She reached
forward, gave him a peck on the cheek, and walked away.
Resigned, Thor stumbled to the school office and asked to be let go for the
day. It was never that straight forward of course, and the nurse had to come
out and inspect him - “Oh deary you do not look well do you!” - and then they
had to phone his mother - “Thor, why didn't you stay home this morning if you
felt sick?” - and then they wrote his name in the book and let him walk out the
door.
*
Thor didn't want to go home. He felt useless at home, because there all he
could do was sit and stare at his phone. Not that he would ever admit it to
anyone, but he was so frustrated he felt like crying.
He went, instead, to the willow tree. He collapsed onto the ground by its
steady trunk and leaned against the bark. He closed his eyes and remembered
being here with Loki, not so long ago. Unbidden, a tear escaped and rolled down
his cheek. He couldn't even raise a hand to wipe it away.
*
He awoke, several hours later, his eyes red and itchy. He felt sore all over,
probably from sleeping on the ground, but he didn't give a damn. For a while he
just sat there, unsure what had woken him, and then his phone vibrated again.
For half a second he just stared at it, then he made a mad scramble for it and
with uncooperative thumbs opened up his inbox. Disappointment settled like a
brick in his chest when he realized they were only from Steve, but he opened
one anyway, and gasped.
“Thor? Did you get my last text? I just got home and Loki's back. Thought you
would want to know.”
Without bothering to check the other message Thor grabbed his bag and his
jacket and fled without looking back.
*
He ran most of the way, dodging dogs and small children, and when he arrived at
Loki's he was panting and sweating and feeling rather uncomfortable. None of
that mattered though because there was a car in the driveway, the windows were
open and Loki was back.
Propriety be damned, he smoothed down his hair and walked up to the front door.
And then, he stopped, fist raised halfway to the door. So much came over him
then that he didn't know what to feel or to think. Should he knock? Should he
even be here? Did Loki even want to see him? What if something bad had happened
and they didn't want him here?
It all burst through his head in a kaleidoscope of confusion. But in the end,
that image of Loki and Briana screaming on the hillside in his dream made him
bring his fist down, and he knocked three times, heart in his throat.
Loki's father answered the door. He look exhausted, like he hadn't shaved for a
few days, and his clothes were crumpled. He looked surprised for a moment, and
then not, like in hindsight he should have expected Thor. Thor himself didn't
know what to think of this.
“Hi Thor,” he said, his voice betraying his tiredness. “I'll see if Loki is
still up for you.”
Thor just nodded, because it was 3.30pm and Loki was in bed? Mind, his father
had looked like he was in need of a bed as well. He was confused, but then
elated because Loki was alright, and he was going to be able to see him. If he
wasn't sleeping.
“Hey Thor,” said a voice, quiet and tired, and Thor looked up to see Loki in
front of him. Something thunked in his chest, because Loki looked terrible. His
normally smooth and gelled hair was messy and chaotic, mussed and sticking out.
His eyes were red, and so were his cheeks, like he'd spent a lot of time crying
(Thor imagined that he might not have looked a whole lot better). Loki looked
like he'd been in the process of getting changed, and was wearing an old black
shirt that Thor had never seen before and track pants. He looked dead on his
feet, so tired Thor could just about see him tremble.
“Loki...” he breathed, and stepped forward to take Loki into his arms. Loki
fell into him like he was boneless, and just let himself be held, and Thor
breathed him in and tried desperately not to cry.
There was a part of him, deep down, a dark part of him that he wish never
existed, that had said maybe he's not coming back. Maybe something's happened
to him, or maybe he just doesn't want to see you anymore. It came back, right
then, and flooded his mind with terrible images, but that didn't make sense
because Loki was right there, in his arms.
He closed his eyes and pulled Loki closer, and kissed the side of his face,
just below his ear. He couldn't stop and kissed him again, dotting his skin
until he had covered as much as he could, and then he did it again. He felt
Loki start to shake and realized he was crying, and Thor practically picked him
up and brought him inside. Loki's father had disappeared and no-one was in
sight, and Thor found a sofa and sat them down carefully, until Loki was
sprawled on his lap and crying into his shoulder.
Thor just held him until the tears stopped, rubbing his back and kissing his
cheek, and not asking anything of him. A little piece of his heart was breaking
because Loki was so upset, so sad about something and Thor didn't know what it
was. All he could do was hold him.
After a while – Thor didn't know how long, it could have been minutes or it
could have been hours – Loki sniffled and sat up a bit, until Thor could see
him. For a moment no-one talked, but Thor didn't feel the need to say anything
right then, he just wanted to be able to look at Loki like this and know that
he was alright. He smoothed a finger down Loki's cheek and just waited, until
Loki could speak.
“I'm so sorry,” were the first words out of Loki's mouth, and he looked as if
he was about to cry again.
Thor didn't understand. He shook his head, let his hand cup Loki's neck. “Don't
be sorry, it's ok.”
Loki hiccupped. “I told you we were going to be home on Sunday, Thor it's
Tuesday and I am so sorry...”
“Please don't be sorry,” Thor whispered. “Please tell me what's wrong.”
Loki sighed, and swallowed hard. “We... we went to the specialist, on Sunday,
like we were supposed to.” He stopped and took in a deep breath. “She thought
that maybe Briana had asthma and wanted to check her for allergies. She...”
Loki stopped again, and Thor could tell from the look on his face that he was
probably going to start crying again. He squeezed Loki and kissed his cheek,
and that seemed to give him strength to go on. “She tested all these things on
her. Briana... she had a reaction, to something...” Tears were sliding down
Loki's cheeks and Thor brushed them away with a finger. “Her... her lips
started swelling and then her face, and and...” He took another deep, shaky
breath. “She couldn't breathe properly, it was all wheezy, and then she stopped
breathing...” Loki gasped and couldn't hold back his tears, and Thor pulled him
closer.
“She was blue, she was dying, and I couldn't do anything...” Loki was sobbing,
and shaking in his arms, and Thor felt his own tears slide down his cheeks as
he realized how terribly helpless Loki would have felt, watching her like that.
“God Thor it was horrible...” he wailed, sounding like his heart was breaking,
and it probably was, and then Thor's stomach was a leaden weight and his heart
felt heavy, and then he couldn't breathe because what if...
“Loki? Is she alright?” he asked, voice so unlike what it usually was, because
it was cracked and broken. Against his shoulder, he felt Loki nod, and he let
out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. “Thank god,” he breathed,
and closed his eyes to bury his face in Loki's hair.
“They gave her epinephrine and the reaction, it stopped, it went away... but
her breathing was still bad, it wasn't right... she had to stay in hospital for
two nights, on a ventilator, they didn't let us go home until today.”
Thor felt like something inside him was tearing apart. These past two days
while he had been panicking, missing Loki so badly, Loki had been in hospital
with Briana and she had been so sick... He couldn't imagine it, what he had
been through, and there was nothing he could say, no words that could make
anything like that better.
“I'm so sorry, baby...” he whispered. “I'm so sorry.”
“Me too,” Loki said through his tears. “God I wanted to call you, to hear your
voice, to let you know... Thor, Thor it's so fucking stupid...” He sat up then,
tears still streaming down his face, and he reached for the coffee table in
front of them. “Look.” He pulled something from under a piece of paper and held
it up, and Thor recognized it as Loki's phone... but something had happened to
it, because it was warped and bent in two different directions, and the screen
was smashed...
Thor stifled a giggle, because right then that was all he could do. “Oh my
god... what happened to it?”
Loki flushed, though it was hard to tell. “I closed it in the car door,” he
mumbled, quite timidly, but then he looked up at Thor and when he saw the smile
on his face he couldn't help but break into a smile too. “I'm an idiot, aren't
I?”
Thor laughed but shook his head. “No, no you aren't an idiot. That's not an
uncommon occurrence, I hear. Bad timing, perhaps.”
“Very bad timing,” Loki agreed. “And I didn't have your number anywhere else. I
even looked you up in the White Pages but you weren't listed.”
Thor cursed his father under his breath. “My father refuses to have us listed.
I don't know why. It's stupid.”
“Stupid yeah...” Loki said, and sagged with exhaustion against Thor and closed
his eyes. “I'm so tired. I don't think I've slept since Saturday.”
“Go to bed,” Thor said softly, because even though that meant having to let go
of Loki he couldn't bear to see him so tired.
Loki just nodded, but didn't move, and Thor had to prise the dead phone out of
his hand and put it back on the table. Loki was practically asleep in his arms,
and nice though it was, Thor figured Loki would be better in a bed. He
rearranged his arms and then lifted Loki gently, letting his head rest against
his chest. He stood and looked around him, but the house seemed deserted. He
figured that if everyone else was as exhausted as Loki, as it appeared they had
all gone to the hospital as well, they were probably in bed too.
Quietly, he turned and headed down the hallway. He had no idea which room was
Loki's, especially since most of the doors were shut. One at the end of the
hall was open though, and Thor tried that first. There was a double bed,
hastily made with a dark green comforter, a desk with a laptop and stereo
system, and a tall bookshelf crammed with books next to a wooden bureau laden
with bottles and boxes and apparently more hair products than a pharmacy. Then
Thor spotted Loki's bag hanging on the desk chair, and he figured that it could
have only been Loki's room. He entered it slowly, and laid Loki on one side of
the bed. He pulled the comforter down on the other side and pulled Loki over so
he was under the covers. Pulling the blanket up under Loki's chin, Thor bent
down and kissed him softly on both cheeks. Loki murmured something but promptly
turned over and fell asleep, and Thor had to grin.
He stood back up and looked around, because this was the first time he had been
in Loki's room and he had to admit that he was curious. Apart from the desk,
shelf and bureau there was little furniture, just a large wardrobe full of
clothes. There was a door, too, and Thor assumed it led to an en suite
bathroom. He gave it a miss and turned to leave, and stood on something that
crunched under his feet.
He bent down and picked it up. It was a little blue case, and curious, he
opened it. There were several leaves, full of pills, though the first leaf was
missing half. He flipped it over in his hands, trying to figure out what it
was, but all he could find was a little engraved brand name - Seasonique. He
shrugged and put it back on the bedside table, figuring Loki had some use for
it, whatever it was.
He kissed Loki once more, and smoothed down his hair, before he crept out of
the room and closed the door quietly behind him. The house was quiet, but it
was no longer the lonely emptiness of the past few days. He looked around him
once more before closing the door and walking back home.
Chapter End Notes
     Seasonique is a type of birth control pill. I had to Google it, as we
     have different ones here in New Zealand, so if I get anything about
     it wrong I apologise :)
***** Chapter 11 *****
Chapter Notes
     Chapter warning for slight sub/dom overtones later in chapter :)
His mom arrived home not 5 minutes after he did, and took one look at him and
told him to go to bed. Usually, this would have been cause for an epic
argument, but after sleeping so poorly the last two nights he was exhausted. He
divested himself of clothing and tumbled into bed, falling asleep within
seconds.
*
He was wide awake before his alarm the next morning, because the first thought
that had entered his head when sleep began to release him was that Loki was
home and well and he would see him again that day... It was enough for him to
toss the comforter away and sit up, and he dismissed the idea of going back to
sleep, not when he had much better things to do.
He was halfway through a box of strawberry frosted Pop-Tarts when his mother
came down to the kitchen, dressed in her robe and still yawning. She stopped
when she saw Thor, already dressed and with a pile of Pop-Tart wrappers next to
him.
“I take it you feel better, then?” she asked, and Thor detected a hint of
suspicion in her voice. He figured it wasn't going to end well.
“Much better,” he said brightly, and smiled, hoping she would just leave it.
She never did.
“What's going on, Thor?” she asked, tightening the robe belt around her waist.
“You've been acting so strangely lately. Is there something I should know
about?”
Thor sighed into his Pop-Tart. “No mom, everything's ok.”
She sat down at the other end of the table, directly opposite him. Thor felt
like breakfast had suddenly become an interrogation. He nibbled at his Pop-Tart
and tried to looked innocent. It was a look he had struggled to perfect.
“What is it? You haven't decided to start taking drugs or drinking have you?
Have you been hanging out with Tony too often?”
Thor choked on a mouthful of frosting. “No, mom,” he said hastily. “No drugs.
No drinking.” Well, not that much drinking, anyway. “And yes, I have been
hanging around with Tony. Not that often though. And really, he isn't that bad.
Most of the time.”
“Then what?” she asked, and spread her hands wide. “I'm your mother, Thor. You
can tell me anything.”
Thor had no intention of doing that. Some things parents just didn't need to
know. Also, experience told him he wouldn't be going anywhere until he coughed
up something. And it had to be truthful, because his mother had an uncanny
ability to detect when he was lying. Mother's instinct, she'd told him once.
She knew everything. It was disturbing.
Thor coughed, because he didn't quite know how to phrase this. “I, uh, meet
someone...” he said awkwardly, eyes glued to the table, and felt his face grow
red. He wished he'd had the presence of mind to leave the house before she was
awake.
His mother was sharp. Too sharp. “That boy you invited around a couple of weeks
ago?” she asked, her tone all-knowing, and something inside him just rolled up
and died, because nothing escaped her. Not for the first time, he wondered if
she had some sort of psychic ability she refused to talk about just so she
could forever be one-up over him. He loved his mother, he really did, but some
things she just did not need to know.
He sighed. “Yeah, him.”
His mother just nodded, and looked thoughtful. “Hmmm. Well, ok. I trust that
one day soon you'll invite him around and I can meet him properly?”
If that was all she was worried about, then Thor had gotten off easy. He
swallowed the last of his Pop-Tart, nodded his head, said “Sure” through a
mouthful of crumbs, got up from the table and prepared to flee to his room.
Before he got more than a few steps, his mother held her hand up as if to tell
him to stop. Thor's body betrayed him, and obeyed. He stared at her rather like
a deer would stare at the headlights of a car about to hit it.
“Are you sleeping together?” she asked casually, as if she was asking about the
weather.
Thor's tongue fell down his throat. She had really gone there. It was the
question. It wasn't the first time he had been asked it, and he highly doubted
it would be his last, but it never got better. His face was burning red and he
was pretty sure she knew the answer before he said it.
“Yes,” he squeaked, and ran for the hills. He just wanted to throw himself down
on his bed and die.
*
He'd recovered sufficiently by 8am, just in time to head to school. His mother
had long departed, sending a cheerful “Goodbye!” through his door before
venturing back to add, “Make sure you use condoms!” He'd thrown his pillow at
the door, but she was long gone.
All in all, he was feeling reasonably discomfited on his way to school. He
wasn't sure how he felt about his mother knowing about Loki and him, or about
how they were sleeping together. It wasn't the first relationship his mother
had been able to sniff out – and sure, he'd been embarrassed, but not like
this. He guessed that he had been a little scared that his mother wouldn't have
approved, and because there was no way in hell he was giving Loki up for
anything he would have been faced with the torturous decision of choosing
between his boyfriend and his parents. It was a choice he hoped he'd never have
to make.
The walk and the fresh air eventually cleared his head, and by the time he'd
arrived at school he was feeling a little less freaked out and a little more
calm and relaxed. Loki wasn't there, but he hadn't been expecting him,
considering how tired he was the night before. The others were there though,
and without even greeting him Tasha asked him about Loki.
“Because by the look on your face, he's back?” she asked, eyebrows up by her
hairline, and Thor couldn't help but notice she was wearing brown mascara.
“Yeah. Home yesterday. Didn't Steve tell you?” he asked, and jerked his head in
Steve's direction.
“No,” Tasha said, and sounded a little threatening.
Steve shrank back from her and offered a weak smile. “Uh, sorry?”
“Hmmph. And you,” she said, turning to Thor and crossing her arms, “why didn't
you text me?”
For the second time that morning, Thor felt like he was on the wrong end of an
interrogation. He was getting really sick of this. “Because after I went around
to see him, I went home and I went to bed. I was exhausted.”
“You could have texted me on your way home.”
Thor was saved by the bell. He grinned apologetically at Tasha and ran away as
fast as he could.
*
It was lunchtime. The sun was shining, the cafeteria was full, the food was
overcooked. It was a typical day, except for the empty seat next to Thor. He
missed Loki, but he was at least at ease now that he knew Loki was ok. He
couldn't wait for the end of the day so he could see him again.
With that mind, he ignored the burnt taste of the lasagna and dug in.
“That looks... appetizing,” said a voice at his shoulder, one Thor would
recognize anywhere.
“Loki?!” he asked and spun around, his mouth half full of food.
“Actually, now it's not so appetiing,” Loki said with a wince, and promptly sat
down. “Chew properly and swallow your food before you get indigestion.”
Thor obeyed. “What are you doing here?” he asked, before the food had even made
it to his stomach.
Loki shrugged. “I've missed enough classes. You have sauce around your mouth.”
Thor wiped it off with the back of his hand, not giving a damn about the smear
of red that now stained his skin. “That's better,” Loki said, and kissed him,
hard and long.
Tony hollered, Clint whistled, Steve moaned and covered his face with his
hands, Tasha gave a smug grin and smacked Thor on the back with her hand,
encouraging him on, and Bruce looked up for a moment from his textbook,
blinked, and went back to reading. Not far from them, a group of girls gave
Thor the death stare.
“Wow,” Thor gasped when they finally parted, and all he could see was Loki's
face, shining up at him, his lips swollen and red. “I missed you too.”
“You're sick, Odinson, just sick,” Tony said, the grin on his face suggesting
that he didn't mean a word.
“Fuck off, Tony,” Thor said, also not meaning a word. He pushed his place away
and shuffled closer to Loki, ignoring everything else around them. “How are you
feeling?”
“I'm good,” Loki said quietly, smiling softly, and Thor had the feeling he
still wasn't 100%, but he was trying.
“How's Briana?”
Loki's smile faltered, but only for half a second. “She's doing ok. She has an
appointment at the hospital tomorrow afternoon.”
“Which hospital?” Thor asked, hoping like hell Loki wasn't going to be heading
out of town again.
“Just the local one this time,” Loki said. “Just to make sure everything's
alright.”
Thor wanted to say something reassuring, something to make everything better –
but he couldn't help remembering that he told Loki that everything was going to
be alright before they went to the hospital, and then nothing had gone right...
and he'd sat with Loki, just yesterday, as he cried his heart out. He didn't
ever want to hear those sounds from Loki, ever again.
So instead he took Loki's hands and squeezed them, and tried to tell him
without words how much he loved him, and how much he wanted Briana to be ok,
and everything to be alright. Loki stared back and Thor watched as those
beautiful green eyes filled with something that looked like tears, until he
wanted to kiss them away.
Tony, as he tended to do, ruined the moment. “Hey, Loki. Where'd ya go,
anyway?” he asked, mouth full of lasagna. Thor could see his food as he ate and
felt his stomach turn.
Loki looked just as impressed. “I... we, um my family, went somewhere on
Sunday. It just took longer than we expected, that's all. And I broke my phone
so I couldn't call Thor.”
Tony raised a skeptical eyebrow. Thor realized he was about to ask questions,
and quickly changed the subject. “Uh, Clint, I heard your mom had a baby?”
Tony was staring daggers, but Clint was beaming and talking about his new
little brother and how he was quite possibly the cutest thing he'd ever seen
(even cuter than Barton #3, Stephanie, who had blond pigtails down to her waist
and liked to dress like a cowboy) and Tasha was smiling knowingly into her
lasagna. Thor only noticed Loki, who was staring at him with an utterly
relieved, gratified expression on his face, and then Thor realized that he was
the only person that Loki trusted to know about what had happened on the
weekend. It gave him a bout of warm fuzzies, and he ate the rest of his lasagna
without noticing the burnt taste.
*
Loki was waiting for him at final bell, leaning against the wall opposite his
classroom. Thor couldn't help but snatch a kiss as they met, and Loki gave him
one of those smiles that he had never seen him give to anyone else. He took
Loki's hand and they walked slowly out of the school, making those in a hurry
move around them.
“When do you have to be home?” Thor asked, just wanting, no, needing to spend a
little time with Loki that didn't involve their being in a hurry.
“I have a few hours,” Loki said, and grinned in such a way that made Thor
suspect that he had purposely planned for this. Well, Thor wasn't going to
complain.
He squeezed Loki's hand. “We can go to my house, though I think my mom was
going to be home early today.”
Loki nodded slowly, but he didn't look completely happy. “Uh... do you think we
could go somewhere with a bit more... privacy?”
It took Thor's brain all of 0.2 seconds to connect the dots. “Oh. Yes. That
could be arranged.” He swallowed and tried very hard to not walk like he had a
baseball shoved down the front of his pants. “But to be honest, there aren't
very many places that private around here... how do you feel about the woods?”
Loki shrugged, and looked at him with a sly smile. “Never fucked in the woods
before.”
*
They went as deep into the woods as they could, staying away from the trails,
until the only noises they could hear were the rushing of the nearby stream and
the soft calls of birds in the trees above. Thor led Loki to a group of rocks
that he had sometimes clambered on as a boy, when he had dared to venture so
deep into the woods. Over time he had forgotten about them, but the memory came
back slowly, filled with holes.
Loki looked around curiously as they approached, holding out a hand to glide it
over the rough surface of the stone. “Where did these rocks come from?”
Thor shrugged. “No-one knows. Not many people even know they are here.”
“How come you know?”
Thor smiled. “I spent half my childhood playing in these woods. And no, I never
met any serial killers.”
Loki laughed, the sound light and cheerful. “Maybe they just looked from afar.”
“Maybe they're watching now,” Thor whispered, and pulled Loki into his arms to
nuzzle at his neck.
Whatever Loki was going to say next died in the breath that he gasped as Thor's
lips touched his skin. The pleasure swirled through him until his body was
singing with sheer ecstasy and all he could sense was Thor, and he had to press
close to him because all he wanted was to feel him and be part of him. Then
Thor moved to his lips and they kissed for what seemed forever, but it wasn't
long enough.
He moaned as Thor broke the kiss, but it was only to pull his jacket off, and
Loki bit his lip to smother a giggle as Thor laid his jacket on the ground for
Loki to lay on.
“You're a gentleman,” he said, his smile breaking through.
“For you, I'd be anything,” Thor said, and suddenly Loki couldn't breathe.
“Come,” Thor said softly, and held out a hand.
Loki let him help him down, and he lay on his back and looked up at Thor, who
stood above him as he slowly undressed. Loki watched the lines of his arms as
he lifted his shirt over his head, and his chest when it was bare, and the
ridges of his stomach, and felt something flutter inside him and his body grow
warm. He watched as Thor's hands unwound his belt and his jeans and pushed them
down, until he was as naked as he could be, half hard already.
Loki spread his legs to let Thor kneel between them, not moving as Thor's hand
moved to his hips. “You're so beautiful like this,” Thor whispered, leaning
forward to kiss his cheek, and then he was undoing Loki's jeans. Loki let him
slide them off, and closed his eyes as he felt Thor settle over him, all hard
muscle and heavy weight.
“You're beautiful too,” he whispered, and spread his hands on Thor's back,
tracing the ridges and hollows under his fingertips. He felt Thor shiver and
relished that he even had this sort of control over him, because Thor had
strength and power that he did not.
Thor's blood was roiling, roaring in his ears, and all he could see or feel was
Loki, spread out beneath him. He kissed him, again and again, his hands gliding
up Loki's arms and cupping his neck, moving through his hair and across his
cheeks.
He was so hard it almost hurt, and he could feel Loki against him, cock rubbing
up against his stomach. He shifted his hips and heard Loki cry out, then did it
again and saw him throw his head back in bliss, eyes closed and mouth open.
Watching Loki's face he moved again, thrusting his hips, and then those hands
on his back were clenching in pleasure, fingernails digging into his flesh.
Loki was moaning, begging Thor for more all while he spread his legs even
further, desperate for friction. “Thor, fuck, I swear if you don't do something
soon...” he panted, and cried out as Thor's cock dragged over his. “Shit!
Thor!”
“Ok, ok...” Thor murmured, and eased himself back onto his knees. He shuffled
down and slid his hands over Loki's knees, holding them apart. He bent forward
and kissed Loki's inner thighs, first one and then the another, until he had
dotted kisses right down to the juncture of his thigh and hip.
Loki was shaking under his hands. Thor looked up at him, just to make sure he
was alright, but Loki's head was thrown back and all he could hear was pleading
moans, so he assumed he was on the right track and bent back down. He ran a
hand up Loki's cock, eliciting a squeal, and explored the head with his thumb,
smearing drops of precum. He licked it off slowly, and looked up under his
eyelashes to see Loki arching his back in his pleasure.
Without warning he took Loki into his mouth and sucked hard, and Loki keened so
loudly he was in no doubt that anyone within a half mile radius would have
heard. So he did it again. He held Loki down as he sucked, half-suspecting that
Loki enjoyed the rough handling just as much as he did the blowjob, because he
seemed to fight just to make Thor hold him harder. It made him want to push, to
see just how much Loki enjoyed it, and just how far he'd let him go.
He let Loki slip out of his mouth, and then spat on his fingers, because such
an impromptu meeting meant he hadn't any lube. He rubbed Loki's entrance gently
and felt him quiver under his fingertips, and cautiously he slid his middle
finger in. Loki clenched around him and then relaxed, and Thor thrust it in and
out, in and out to a quiet chorus of deep sighs. He pressed another in
alongside and pressed down on Loki's hips to keep him still as he tried to buck
with ecstasy.
“No no no... I got you, stay still,” Thor said, and pressed down even harder,
and Loki's eyes flew open and gazed at him with a wild sort of detached lust.
“Don't...” Thor hissed as Loki opened his mouth to speak, and he watched with a
foreign salaciousness as Loki closed his mouth, pouted, and bit his lip so hard
it looked like it was almost bleeding.
He could feel Loki's hips rotating just slightly in time with the thrusts of
his fingers, trying both to take him deeper and to get his fingers to brush his
prostate, but Thor stubbornly refused to cooperate until Loki was begging him
through clenched teeth. Then all he did was withdraw his fingers and sit there,
staring down at Loki, trying hard to act as though he was in control, when all
he wanted to do was fuck into him so roughly he would feel it for days.
His cock was throbbing, straining, and he wrapped a hand around it, feeling his
body betray him as the pleasure made him groan. Loki was smirking from under
his black hair, and intoxicating lust burned through him. Giving in, he pulled
over his jeans and rummaged through the pockets until he found his wallet. He
pulled out a condom – lubed, thank god – and wasted no time in getting it on.
Loki watched him the whole time, looking rather debauched – naked and so open
in front of him.
Thor knelt back down and lifted Loki's knees, then reached down and grabbed his
hips. He jerked Loki towards him until he was flush against him, and tucked his
knees over his shoulders. He leaned forward until he was covering Loki,
dominating him completely, and without even doing anything Loki was suddenly
breathing hard, his eyes wide and dark. Thor didn't say anything, just gathered
both of Loki's thin wrists in one hand and lifted them over Loki's head, until
his arms were stretched out behind him and held down by Thor's strong hand.
It was heady, this sudden control, having Loki trapped under his body. It was
something he'd never done with anyone else before, and he wouldn't be doing it
now unless Loki enjoyed it too. Up til now that was what he had thought, but a
deep stab of guilt made him take a breath.
“Is this ok?” Thor asked breathlessly, referring not to the sex but to the
domination, though Loki seemed to understand.
Beneath Thor, Loki's lips curled up into a smirk and his eyes sparkled, and
that look alone was enough to reassure Thor. “Do I have permission to speak?”
Loki asked with a grin, making Thor laugh.
“Yes. For now,” Thor said, and smirked right back.
“Then yes. This is very ok.”
“Good,” Thor murmured, and kissed him. “I'm going to fuck you now.”
Loki shivered, his eyes fluttering closed, and Thor watched him even as his
other hand drifted to his cock, and he pressed into Loki as gently as he could.
Loki's mouth opened in a silent moan and his head fell back to press into the
earth, and Thor felt him everywhere around him – clenching around his cock,
legs tangled and pressed into his back, chest heaving against his, wrists and
hands trapped by his hand. He pushed as deep as he could, until he could go no
further, then slowly pulled out, and Loki gasped and trembled beneath him.
He fucked him slowly, at first, keeping his rhythm regular and steady, until
Loki was begging him with his eyes and his body to go harder, and then he
started to slam in deep, making Loki's body shift beneath him with each thrust.
“Scream for me,” he whispered into Loki's ear, and Loki did. He screamed and he
cried out, his voice echoing in the trees and startling the birds. Loki gasped
and moaned with every thrust, his face flushed and desperate, and Thor just
couldn't watch anything else, because Loki's pleasure was so intense and so
beautiful to see.
“Oh fuck harder baby, fuck me harder,” Loki begged, his hands curling around
Thor's, tensing and testing his strength. Thor pushed down harder around his
hands and then really started to fuck him, and Loki lost it, his body writhing
and shaking and his limbs trembling.
Loki came first, untouched, arching up so hard into Thor he could feel every
hollow and every ridge of his body, and he marvelled at how well Loki fit into
him, like he'd been made against his mold. Thor watched as he came, saw how
Loki bit into his lip until his skin was glistening red, and bent down to kiss
away the blood as he let himself go and felt his body react beyond his control.
Power rushed through his limbs and pulsed in his muscles and pleasure filled
everywhere else, leaving him drained and utterly sated.
For a while they just lay there, bodies pressed into each other, the jacket
beneath them the only comfort from the hard ground. Thor wasn't sure how long
they stayed there, but when he sat upright he saw that the sun was much lower
in the sky than it had been when they had started their trek into the woods,
and they ought to start heading back before anyone missed them.
“You alright?” he asked Loki, who was still spread out on the jacket, his eyes
closed.
“Yeah,” Loki said sleepily, just opening his eyes long enough to peer at Thor
before closing them again.
“You look tired.”
“You made me tired.”
“You asked for it.”
Loki giggled and opened his eyes properly, and threw up a hand to encourage
Thor to lay back down with him. “Do you think those serial killers are still
watching?” he asked, a glint in his eyes.
“Probably,” Thor said seriously. “Likely they've taken video as well and our
sex tape will be all over YouPorn by tonight.” Loki's giggles overtook him and
he pressed his face into Thor's chest, trying to stifle them. “I don't know why
you're laughing, it's a very serious matter!” That didn't help, and Loki's
entire body started to shake with laughter. Thor smiled and tightened his arms
around him.
He held Loki for a while, until his laughter had died down. He couldn't help
but think of the conversation with his mother that morning, though it was very
unsexy. He pressed a kiss to Loki's forehead.
“Hey babe...” he started, and kissed Loki again. “Do your parents know you're
gay?” he asked quietly, not sure if he even had the right to ask the question.
Loki untucked his head and looked up at him, hair all mussed and messy, his
eyes wide. “Yeah. I think they knew before I did.”
“And they don't care?”
“No. Well, I think my dad was kinda hoping for a son he could do manly things
with, but he's never been upset at me about it.”
“Me too,” Thor mused. “My mother knew before I told her as well.”
“What about your dad?”
Thor sighed. “He's alright. I dunno, I think maybe he thought that I was going
to go all girly on him, but I still like football and cars and beer, so I think
he's forgiven me.”
Loki laughed quietly, but his eyes were thoughtful. He looked like he wanted to
say something, and seemed to get nervous, but when Thor rubbed his shoulder and
kissed his cheek he appeared to calm down.
“Should we head home?” Loki asked, his voice high-pitched and unfamiliar, and
though Thor knew this was unusual he didn't press, and just nodded his head.
“Let's go home.”
*
Afterwards, when he was at home, Thor couldn't shake the feeling Loki was
keeping something from him. First there had been the time in his bedroom when
Loki had been so uncomfortable about Thor questioning him about Briana, and
then the time after that when Loki had refused to let him touch his stomach or
his chest. Thor couldn't help but feel those things were related, and all the
other things like his strict curfew and why he had to be the one to take care
of Briana all the time. It seemed like the answer was out there somewhere, and
Thor became more and more curious, but no matter how much he tried to fit it
all together he could never find a clear picture.
*
The next day, Loki was at school, looking well-rested and eager to be back. It
just felt like everything was right, with him there, even thought Thor couldn't
shake the lingering feeling Loki was holding back on him about something. He
already thought Loki so perfect, so beautiful, so wonderful that he couldn't
imagine Loki hiding something that could possibly change his mind. He just
wished that Loki could understand that.
*
Loki was nowhere to be seen after the final bell, having skipped off early for
an appointment. Thor resigned himself to walking home alone, but Tasha accosted
him before he'd made it out of the school gate.
“Thor!” she called, and he waited for her to catch up.
“What's up?” he asked, wondering why she wasn't off with Clint.
“Clint's gone to the hospital to visit his mom and the baby,” she explained.
“So I'm bored and I'm going to hang out with you.”
Thor laughed, because that was so typical of Tasha. He would never admit that
he was glad of the company. “Fine,” he said, “as long as we can get burgers.”
“Burgers? I can handle burgers!”
*
After eating (Tasha's shout) she dragged Thor down to the local mall. They
trawled a few clothing shops and the music shop and talked each other out of
buying puppies at the pet store before Tasha gave a small cry of remembrance
and dragged Thor towards the pharmacy.
“I have to pick up a prersciption, I knew we were down here for a reason!” she
said, and Thor followed obligingly. He didn't mind shopping with Tasha, he
really didn't (she had pretty good taste in clothes), but she often changed her
mind about clothes and shops without blinking an eye. This was just another
sudden detour.
He waited quietly as she filled her order, then figured he might as well use
his time wisely and bought more lube and condoms. The girl behind the counter
raised her eyebrows at him but he took the high road and ignored her.
“Thor! Where ya been?” Tasha asked, running up to him with a brown bag in her
hand.
He held up his bag. “Just buying stuff. Got tired of waiting for you.”
“What d'ya get?” she asked brightly, shouldering him. “Or should I guess.”
He knew damn well what she'd guess and didn't even bother to make her. He
opened the bag and let her peer inside. “Birth control. What a good boy!” She
smiled up at him and Thor poked out his tongue. “Hey, look, you aren't the only
one.” She opened her brown bag and pulled out a little blue case that looked
oddly familiar. Then Thor realized it looked exactly the same as the one he'd
found in Loki's room the other day.
“Hey, what is that?” he asked, utterly curious by now.
Tasha waved it. “Seasonique.”
“Yeah, but what is it?”
“It's the pill,” Tasha said, and tucked it back into the bag.
“No, I meant what kind of pill?” Thor asked, by now rather confused.
Tasha just stared at him. “You aren't serious.”
“Deadly.”
“Thor, it's the pill. Ya know, contraceptive?” she explained, and stared at him
like he was completely stupid. Thor stared back, because he felt like he'd been
hit by a brick. What the fuck was Loki doing with birth control pills? It was
just another piece of the puzzle that didn't seem to fit anywhere. He tried
like hell to not look utterly confused and let Tasha led him to the book store.
*
By the time they had stumbled out of the mall, Thor laden down with all of
Tasha's shopping bags while she carried her school bag, the sun was beginning
to dip below the horizon and Thor knew he'd catch hell at home. He'd been
thinking so hard about this puzzle that Loki had presented him with that he'd
forgotten to call his mother to let her know he'd be home late. But he'd
already promised Tasha he'd help carry all her bags home, so he followed behind
her dutifully and tried to pretend he was interested in what she was saying.
Tasha's place wasn't far from his. It was an old California bungalow which her
parents had recently redecorated (Thor had been roped in to help strip
wallpaper. He was never doing that again. Ever). He could smell dinner cooking
as they went inside, and at some point Clint had come around, because he was
busy regaling Tasha's parents with stories of his new sibling. They looked
utterly delighted and Tasha looked terrified.
“I don't want children,” she hissed into Thor's ear. “Hence the contraceptives.
Clint just never helps.” Then she plastered a grin onto her face and said hello
to her parents.
Thor had to make his excuses and put Tasha's bags into her room for her to sort
out later. Clint and Tasha came out with him, to say goodbye, and just when
Thor thought they'd leave him be to let him sort through his head Clint added
another jagged piece to the puzzle.
“Hey, Thor, I saw Loki at the hospital,” Clint said casually. “He was there
with his little sister.”
The mention of Loki made all the little puzzle pieces in his head start to
whirl. “Oh,” Thor said, noncommittingly, and Tasha raised an eyebrow. “How was
he?”
“I dunno, I didn't have time to stop and ask because he went into another room
before I could say hello.” The way Clint was talking and the look on his face
made Thor think he had something else to say, that he was dying to get out. He
shot Clint a look that just said get on with it. “He was there by himself,” he
said in a rush, shifting from foot to foot. “I don't know why they'd let him
bring her for an appointment without their parents. It was really weird. They
don't usually let you do that if the kid's under 5.”
Thor felt like Tasha and Clint were staring hard at him, waiting for him to say
something, but there was nothing he could say, because his mind was leaping
from theory to idea to possibility to excuse and he couldn't get anything
straight. In the end all he could do was shrug, mumble a goodbye and head off
home as fast as he could. Maybe the walk would help him sort everything out.
It didn't.
He sat through the dressing down from his mother without even giving a damn,
because suddenly that didn't matter anymore, and as soon as she let him go he
stumbled upstairs and locked himself in his room.
His head was screaming.
He found his phone, and fumbled through a text message.
“Loki? Can we talk? Plse?”
***** Chapter 12 *****
Chapter Notes
     Sorry for the delay! I was hoping to have this up yesterday but I
     have no proper internet where I am staying at the moment :(. But on a
     brighter note, the next chapter is virtually written, it just needs
     editing and then it should be up soon!!
     Just a note on this chapter... I'm sorry if my idea of 'mpreg'
     doesn't gel with anybody else's. But please note this is my universe
     and I shall bullshit my way through it the best I can :D.
The reply came as he was laying on his bed, nursing one hell of a headache. It
was late but he couldn't sleep, because his mind was racing and he felt
inexplicably anxious, like everything was going to change from now on. He felt
the phone vibrate in his mind and took a moment to open it, because he wasn't
sure what he wanted to find.
“Yeah of course. What about?”
It was a good question. Thor found himself struggling to reply, because it was
so hard to put into words, all this... There was so much going on inside his
head that he couldn't just pluck one thing out of it and write it down, because
it wouldn't have made any sense. He fumbled over the reply, and rewrote it ten
times, and still wasn't happy with it when he sent it.
“Theres sumthing u arent tellng me, I think? Im worried about u. Please talk 2
me.”
Loki didn't reply straight away, and Thor hoped to god he wasn't upset, because
that was never his intention. He had never been very good with words anyway,
and this was so completely out of his league that he was pretty sure that no
matter what he had written, it would never have been right.
His phone beeped. He picked it up with shaking hands.
“There is something... Thor I'm so sorry. Are you mad at me??”
Thor didn't hesitate in his reply. “No. I could neva b angry w/ u.” Something
like relief rushed through his head, because there was something after all, and
he wasn't just imagining it.
“I don't want to tell you over text. Can you come to my house before school
tomorrow?”
Thor scrubbed at his face with a hand. He hadn't been sure from the outset
where this conversation was going to lead, but maybe Loki was right, and face
to face would be easier than over text. “Yes :) c u tomoro, sleep well :)”.
*
He was up early the next morning, having not been able to sleep much. He was
getting far too used to these early mornings, and had at least found some
beauty in being up before the rest of the world. On the fridge door he left a
note for his mom, and didn't bother to grab any breakfast before he left,
because his stomach was rolling so badly the thought of food made him nauseous.
He walked slowly to Loki's house, not sure what time he'd even be up, but
wanting to leave enough time for them to talk. There was so much going through
his head that it felt fit to burst, and still he couldn't weave it all together
to make much of a coherent picture, which was what made him so anxious. Above
all, above everything else, he just hoped like hell that Loki was ok and that
this, whatever it was, wouldn't affect whatever they had become - he couldn't
imagine life without Loki now.
Before he even realized it, he was at Loki's door. He stood there for a few
minutes, gathering himself and his courage from the floor. Taking a deep
breath, he raised his fist and knocked, because he just couldn't stand there
like an idiot any longer. Loki's mom opened the door almost straight away and
she must have been expecting him because she smiled, said good morning and told
him Loki was in his room.
He made his way down to the Loki's room, where he found him sitting on his bed,
half dressed in his track pants and a blue shirt. Loki smiled, but it looked
forced, and Thor felt his stomach flip. He sat down next to Loki and opened his
arms for a hug, which was gratefully received if Loki's soft sigh was anything
to go by.
“What is it?” he asked, his voice quiet and hoarse. He felt Loki tense up
against him, and tightened his arms around him.
For a moment there was nothing, and then Loki spoke, his voice muffled from
where he was pressed against Thor's chest. “I'm so sorry. I let you believe
something that wasn't true because I didn't want you to know the truth. I was
afraid of what you would think of me. I've been lying to you.” Loki was stiff
in his arms, as if he was expecting Thor to push him away, but Thor couldn't
really do anything anyway, because he was trying to process what Loki had just
said.
“What... what is it?” he asked, everything still a little fuzzy, like he was
fumbling for a light switch in the dark.
Loki sniffed, and Thor realized with a start that he was crying, so silently
that he hadn't noticed it until now. Silently cursing at himself he reached for
the box of tissues next to Loki's bed and pulled a couple out for him, and made
him dry his cheeks.
Loki clutched at the tissues but refused to look at Thor, who thought that
perhaps the red on his cheeks was from more than just crying. This wasn't at
all what he wanted, and still not sure what was happening and where this was
all going, Thor did the only thing that made sense to him in that moment and
pulled Loki completely onto his lap. Loki promptly buried his head in his neck,
as if to hide.
“I don't want you to hate me,” Loki said, his voice muffled, but Thor heard the
words anyway and felt his stomach churn.
“Loki, I could never hate you,” Thor said, wondering just the hell would make
Loki say something like that.
“I haven't told you what it is yet.”
“It doesn't matter what it is.”
Loki sighed and sat up, wiping his eyes. He smiled but there was no humor in
it, just a suggestion of pain that made Thor's breath catch in his throat. "You
say that, but..."
"But what?" Thor asked before Loki could finish, because he knew exactly where
he was going. "Please tell me."
Loki looked away, at something Thor couldn't see. “Briana..." Loki began, but
seemed to lose courage before he could find his next words. Thor tightened his
arms in response, unable to find words himself, though he had known, somehow,
that she was at the center of this, whatever it was. The small smile that Loki
gave him before he turned away again was sad, and it wavered, but then Loki
took a deep breath and continued, his voice toneless. "She's, um, she's not my
sister. She's my daughter."
"Oh," Thor said, because the air had vanished from his lungs and he couldn't
say anything else. "Oh." His brain was moving a mile a minute and getting
nowhere fast, because apparently resetting what you thought you knew was a
difficult and somewhat confusing and almost painful process. For the first time
in his life, Thor felt like he didn't know what to do. Loki was refusing to
look at him, as if he was afraid of what he would see, and for a split second
Thor was almost pleased at that, but the thought and feeling disappeared so
quickly he wasn't even sure if that was what he had felt. What was left was
confusion.
Thor needed to think, to work through this, and to ask questions, most
especially why. He almost didn't know where to start. "Loki?" he asked, not
sure what he was even asking, but needing to speak nonetheless.
Loki just shook his head, keeping it turned away, but Thor could see enough to
see that his teeth were worrying his bottom lip and his cheeks were shiny with
tears. "I'm so sorry," Loki blurted again. "I should have told you."
Thor couldn't argue with that, and didn't. He wanted to press the point, that
Loki should have been honest, but for some reason he couldn't - in the face of
Loki's tears, it seemed heartless. "I wish you had," he settled for instead,
his mind only half focused. He was still reeling from Loki's confession.
Loki nodded numbly, fumbling at his cheeks with the tissues as if they could
erase more than just tears. "I am sorry, please believe me," he said shakily.
"God, this is hard to explain." Exhausted, he slumped against Thor's chest,
still mumbling apologies through the tears that hadn't stopped.
Thor kissed the top of his head and held him tighter, working through his
thoughts. It was settling now, the idea of it all, odd and foreign as it was.
And it made sense, the more he thought about it. Why Loki was the one to stay
up with Briana, why he was called home to look after her, why he could talk
forever about her with such a loving look in his eye. He remembered the
contraceptives, and he looked at Loki's bedside table and there was the case,
open, with a glass of water next to it. His heart skipped a beat as he thought
about the times they'd had sex, and how easy it would have been to just not use
a condom...
For a long time they sat there, Loki wrapped up in Thor, until so much time had
passed there was a knock on the door and Loki's mother came in. She wasn't
surprised at how upset Loki was, and just bent instead to kiss his forehead and
murmur something Norwegian into his ear that made him smile weakly. Thor
realized she had to have known just what Loki had been planning to tell him
that morning, and he understood then just how close the two of them had to have
been.
For a moment he was worried she'd be angry at him, but she smiled instead, so
genuinely that Thor couldn't help but smile back.
“I'm going to call the school, Loki. I think you need to stay home today,” she
said, and Loki must have been feeling awful because he didn't even protest,
just nodded his head.
She left the room quietly. Loki sniffed, and sat up a little, but still
couldn't look at Thor. He seemed a little calmer, though he still wiped at his
eyes with the tissues. “I think she was worried you were going to run out of
here once you found out,” he said quietly.
Thor was shocked. “Why the hell would I do that?”
Loki turned to look at him then, face open and almost resigned. “Because you
wouldn't have been the first.”
A mixture of feelings rushed through Thor right then, most which he couldn't
name. He couldn't imagine just walking out on Loki when he had been so honest,
no matter the circumstances, and it made him angry to think that anyone could
even do that to him. He couldn't say anything, because he couldn't find the
words.
“Briana's father was the first,” Loki said flatly, a strange look on his face.
“At first, he said he was happy, that everything would be ok - then, I guess,
reality caught up, I started looking like I was pregnant, and he said he didn't
want to spend his life changing diapers and cleaning up after a kid.”
Thor felt sick. “And then?”
“Then, a guy I had sort of known for a while, after Briana was born, she was
only 3 weeks old... I told him, when he first asked me out, that I had a baby
and he said he didn't care... then when I brought him home to meet her he just
- he couldn't handle it.” He turned to face Thor, and was silent for a moment.
“That's why I couldn't tell you. I couldn't bear the thought of you walking out
like that..." He shook his head, as if the thought of it was still difficult.
"You know, I didn't even want to meet anyone here." He chuckled bitterly. "I
didn't want to go through all of that again. Then I saw you... I knew from the
minute I saw you that I would fall in love with you. And I did. I wanted you so
badly... and I thought, I thought maybe that if you didn't know she was mine,
then you wouldn't leave me because of it... I didn't stop to think about it.”
Thor was pretty sure he was going to need to be the one with the tissues soon.
That wasn't something he was prone to doing very often. He was beginning to
understand Loki's reasons for keeping him in the dark. Any annoyance he had
felt had faded, leaving in its place a deep sadness that he hadn't been able to
know Briana from the beginning as Loki's little girl. "I wouldn't have cared,"
Thor said, and meant it.
"You can say that now," Loki said, with a rueful smile.
Thor shrugged, then returned the smile. "Loki, I wanted to jump you so badly I
wouldn't have cared if you had had a classroom full of kids."
Loki snorted. "Oh Thor, you were always so eloquent," he said, and promptly had
to wipe his eyes again, but Thor had a feeling they were tears borne of relief,
not of regret or sadness. "God," Loki said, throwing the tissues in a bin with
more force than was necessary. "I thought you were going to hate me."
“Not gonna happen,” Thor said, and squeezed Loki until he squeaked and slapped
him.
They probably looked like a mess, the both of them, with red faces and stained
cheeks and hair everywhere. Thor started laughing because it was all so
ridiculous.
“What are you laughing about?” Loki asked, looking bewildered.
“Us. Loki, I bet we look awful.”
Then Loki started to laugh too, because once tears are dried up the only other
thing you can do is laugh, and though there was little jubilation in their
laughter there was intense relief instead.
Thor wiped his eyes and looked at Loki again, as if seeing him for the first
time. Loki had had a baby... it almost made him a new person. But he wasn't –
he was still the Loki Thor had fallen in love with, who'd consumed his nearly
every daily thought for the last several weeks. Loki, who told him off for not
doing his homework and had a strict curfew, Loki who read Homer and was smarter
than anyone he knew. It was the same Loki, just with this whole other side that
he hadn't been privileged to see until now.
But with new knowledge, came questions. Thor settled against the headboard and
Loki lay next to him, head tucked under his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around
Loki, realizing that suddenly he felt so much lighter – the fear that what Loki
had hidden was something malignant or terrible had gone. Instead, an entire new
world had opened up for him.
Thor idly stroked Loki's hair. “How does this work... this whole, you know,
having babies thing. I know that it happens, right, to some men, not me,
obviously, but why you?”
Next to him, Loki shrugged. “They don't know. Some people are born with it,
some people aren't. First they thought it was genetic, then they thought it was
hereditary, but hey, I'm the first in my family that we know about. So they are
still figuring that out. When I lived in Anchorage they made me go in every
year for tests, but it wasn't cos there was something wrong – they were just
trying to isolate whatever it is that makes me different from everyone else.
Well, me and everyone else who has the same issue, anyway.” He paused for a
moment, as if thinking. Thor didn't push him.
“They think, that it happens because of a mutation in the ovum at conception.
Your original cell, the one you come from, from your mother. You know why men
why nipples?” he asked, staring up at Thor, who looked completely blank and
just shrugged. It had never been a question that had felt necessary to ask
before. “It's because all ovums develop as female until about 9 weeks
gestation. Then, at some point, something else kicks in and the cell becomes a
male, if the sperm carried the Y chromosome or it carries on developing as
female if the sperm was X chromosome. That's why men have nipples. But with me
– and everyone else like me – something gets confused. The cell starts
developing incorrectly. It carries on developing female organs even when the
sperm is Y chromosome. They haven't been able to figure out why. But I
developed female internal organs as well as male external organs. I look male
from the outside, but on the inside, I’m… not really, I suppose. It makes
things... interesting, I guess.”
Thor bit his lip. It wasn't like he'd never heard of a guy having babies before
– it happened, everyone knew about it (and everybody knew someone who knew
someone who it'd happened to, like their uncle’s brother’s hairdresser’s dog
groomer or something) – but he'd never had to think about it, because he didn't
know anyone with that sort of makeup. He felt like going home and Googling.
There were one or two things he was curious about.
“But you can give birth, right?”
Loki nodded. “Sure. What's the point of being able to conceive and carry a baby
naturally if you can't give birth to it? To not be able to would have killed us
all off before they invented antiseptic and scalpels.”
“And anaesthetic,” Thor said, wincing.
“And that,” Loki said, with a smile.
“Did it hurt?” Thor asked, wincing again.
Loki gave him a withering look. “What the hell do you think?” he asked.
“...Good point.”
Loki chuckled, and sighed. “God, I can't believe this.”
“Believe what?”
“That you're just... I dunno, that you haven't run away screaming. I lied to
you, Thor, and you don't seem to care about it.”
Thor squeezed Loki's shoulder. “I guess I can understand why you didn't tell
me.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. I mean, it's not like I know exactly what you are going through... I
never will. But I can understand, given everything that's happened, why you
chose not to tell me. I'm ok with it.”
“You're ridiculously brilliant.”
“Really?”
“Yes. But now I feel a bit stupid. I should have told you at the beginning,”
Loki said, and sighed.
“But you had your reasons for not doing that. Hey, in another universe, a
different Thor could have told a different Loki to stuff it. You didn't know
that that wasn't going to happen.”
“You're getting metaphysical on me. This is a first.”
“And probably the last.”
“I figured.” Loki yawned, clearly exhausted after such an emotional morning.
“Oh my god.”
“Lie down,” Thor said, and kissed his forehead. “I just have to make a phone
call, and then I'll be back.”
“Who are you calling?” Loki asked sleepily.
“My mom. I'll be quick.”
“Are you going to tell her?” Loki asked, suddenly looking a whole lot more
awake.
Thor paused. “No, not right now. I won't tell her at all if you don't want me
to.”
Loki bit his lip. “It's ok. You can tell her. She'll find out soon enough
anyway, I'm sure. Probably better coming from you.”
“True. But still, not right now. I'll be back.” He kissed Loki again and crept
out of the room, because Loki had already closed his eyes. He closed the door
and slid down the wall to sit on the floor.
His phone told him it was 8.17am. School started in less than 10 minutes. He
wouldn't make it now even if he ran. He found his mother's number and called
it, hoping like hell she was in an understanding mood.
“Mom?”
“Thor? What is it? Are you at school?”
“No... mom, I can't go in today.”
He heard her sigh at the other end of the phone. “And why not?”
Thor banged his head against the wall. This was going to be fun to explain.
“I'm at Loki's. That's why I got up early... he can't go in today and I want to
stay with him.”
“To do what?” his mom asked, clearly annoyed.
“Just be with him, mom. That's all. Look, I promise, I'll tell you better this
evening. I just...” Loki's earlier words came back to him, and he suddenly
understood better than he had before. “I'd prefer to tell you face to face.”
“Thor, what's going on?” she asked, and her tone was no longer annoyed, just
curious and a little anxious.
“Something... mom, I swear, I'll tell you tonight. Could you please just phone
the school and tell them I won't be going?”
She sighed again. “Just this once. And I'm not very happy. I'll see you
tonight, and we are having this talk.”
“Yes mom,” Thor said obediently, not particularly looking forward to it. He had
no idea what her reaction would be.
“You do realise your father is home tomorrow morning, don't you?” his mom said
suddenly, and he winced.
“I forgot.”
“Yes, I thought you did. Look, whatever is going on, this needs to be sorted
today, before he gets home. Because this is just getting ridiculous.”
“Yeah, I get it.”
“Good. I'll see you tonight.”
“Bye, Mom.”
“Goodbye.”
He cancelled the call, flipping his phone shut with a sigh. For a while, he
just sat there, so many things going through his mind. Loki was a mom, for
Christ's sake. No matter what he'd said to Loki before, it was going to take a
little while to get used to the idea. He pulled himself up and let himself in
the room, closing the door behind him. He closed the blinds so the room was
darker, and slid on the bed beside Loki, who was already asleep.
And in less than 2 minutes, so was he.
***** Chapter 13 *****
Chapter Notes
     Wow! It's been over a month since I last posted on this. Ten billion
     apologies :(. Life and uni has been kicking my butt. I give you a
     12,000 word chapter to hopefully help make up for it :).
     I had a crisis of confidence writing this chapter, so I hope it
     turned out ok.
     CHAPTER WARNING: contains discussion of abortion.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
The room was still dark when he woke a little later on, but the clock on the
wall told him only 4 hours had past. Loki was still sleeping, his face finally
calm and relaxed, and Thor just lay there for a little bit, watching him sleep.
When his phone beeped again, he realised why he had woken up. He'd left his
phone on Loki's desk, too far away to reach. Trying hard to be careful, he
climbed out of bed but before he'd gotten far he heard Loki moving behind him.
He turned and saw Loki sitting up, yawning and rubbing his face. He stared up
at Thor with sleepy and unfocused eyes. “What are you still doing here?” he
asked, his voice hoarse and tired.
“Got mom to let me have the day off. Now my stupid phone won't shut up.”
“Oh,” Loki mumbled, and flopped back down on the bed. “Probably Tasha wondering
where the hell we are.”
Thor grabbed his phone and thumbed through the messages, all 5 of them.
“Jesus,” he said, sitting back down on the bed with a thump.
“What?” Loki asked drowsily.
“You were right. Tasha just sent me 5 texts asking me why we aren't at school
today.”
Loki giggled into his pillow. “Tell her we ran away to get married.”
Thor shrugged and grinned. “Better than nothing.” He wrote exactly that and
sent it.
“Wait... did you actually text her that?” Loki asked curiously, looking a
little wider awake.
“Yup,” Thor said happily, and bounced up and down on the bed. “Now I'm going to
turn my phone off, and she's going to spend the rest of the day absolutely
fucked off with me.”
“Wow,” Loki said dryly. “She is going to hate you.”
“Yeah. But she'll get over it.” Thor tossed his phone on Loki's bedside table
and crawled over to him. Loki tried to bury himself under the blankets but Thor
was too quick, and he yanked the comforter down to cover Loki's face in kisses.
Loki was practically shrieking by the time he was finished, laughing too hard
to put any sort of serious effort into his attempt to push Thor off.
“Oh my god,” Loki gasped when Thor finished and collapsed next to him. “I feel
like I've just had a facelift.”
Thor smacked him gently on the stomach. “You don't need a facelift. Those are
for forty year old women with self-esteem issues.”
Loki snorted. “God that feels like years away.”
“We'll be old.”
“Yeah. Briana would be... 24. Holy cow.”
Thor pulled his head out of the pillow. “Do you think about what she'll be like
when she's older?”
Loki turned over to face him. “Sometimes,” he said quietly. “But she's growing
up so fast I'm scared that if I focus too much on the future I'll miss out on
what's happening now.” He looked so sad that Thor stretched out a hand and
gently stroked his cheek. “It's scary. All of it. I'm always worried about her
– when I'm at school I'm always a little afraid just because I'm not there,
even though my grandmother is always with her, and sometimes at night I wake up
and have to check on her because I'm terrified something will happen to her
when she's sleeping. Mom says it's natural and that she was like that when I
was born, but that doesn't make the fear go away. You probably think it's
stupid,” he said, almost bitterly, and laughed hollowly.
“No,” Thor said, adamant. “I don't think it's stupid at all. She's your
daughter. Of course you're going to be protective of her.”
Loki smiled, but it was weak. “I was so scared when I found out I was pregnant.
I just didn't know what to feel. It was so confusing.”
Thor’s curiosity was piquing now. “How did you find out?” he asked quietly,
running a hand up and down Loki's arm.
“Mom took me to the doctor cos I couldn't stop throwing up. I think, looking
back now, that maybe she already knew.”
“At least she was with you when you found out.”
“Yeah. All it was was a stupid pregnancy test. The doctor didn't even ask
anything else, just told me to pee into a cup.”
At that, Thor had to laugh. “That's not very romantic.”
“Tell me about it. He even let me keep the test.”
“He let you keep it?”
“Yeah. I'll show you.” Loki climbed out of bed and switched on the light before
going over to his bookshelf. He reached up and took down a large, cream-
coloured photo album. “Everything's in here.” He sat down next to Thor and
opened it. Out fell something wrapped in plastic, and Loki picked it up. “I
promise you, I did wash it.” He took off the plastic and there it was, a tiny
white stick, still with two red lines in the little window. “This changed my
life,” Loki mused. “I didn't believe it was possible to hate something and love
something at the same time, but I did with this.”
“And all because it turned positive.”
“Yep.” Loki stared at it for a little while, turning it over in his hands. “I
nearly fainted. So did mom. The truth? I was so terrified I could hardly
breathe. I was terrified because I didn't want a baby – I was way too young. I
had so much to do, and it wasn't like any of my friends were having babies. I
was terrified about what my father would say. I was terrified that something
would happen to the baby. I was terrified because I knew my life would never be
the same.”
Thor swallowed. He'd let himself believe that he knew everything about Loki,
but he didn't – there was so much that he might never be able to know it all.
He felt a deep, inexplicable sadness that he hadn't been a part of this, that
there was so much he'd missed out on, this entire life that Loki had spent with
other people that were not him.
And Loki was reliving some of it now, just for him. It sounded painful, like
drawing from a wound, but Loki seemed stronger than he had been earlier that
morning and there was a part of Thor that desperately needed to hear all of it.
So Loki went on. “And it wasn't. The same, I mean. I remember... I remember,
very vividly, driving home after the doctor's. Neither of us said anything. I
think I was still in shock. I kept waiting for it to be over, for it all to go
away, but it didn't. I went straight to bed when I got home but I couldn't
sleep. And it didn't really get any better, you know? I mean, I got used to it,
I guess. I got used to the idea that nothing was going to be the same any more.
Didn't mean I had to like it.
“My mom... she was amazing. I think... I know that that hadn't been what she or
dad had wanted for me. But she made me get up every morning, made me eat, made
me look after myself. And the whole time she kept saying, 'Whatever you want
you do, we'll support you'. I had no idea what she meant by 'what I wanted to
do' until I had to go to some appointment at the hospital. It was a nurse who
just made me sit down and told me that I could kept the baby and raise it,
carry the baby to term and then adopt it out, or I could have an abortion. An
abortion. And god, Thor,” he choked. Thor gathered him up into a hug. “I hate
this... I hate... I hate that when she said I could abort my first thought was
that if I did, then my life would go back to normal. I felt happy. Then she was
talking about how they couldn't do it after a certain point in the pregnancy so
I would have to choose soon, and then I realized that I couldn't do it. She'd
only been part of me for a couple of months, and I'd only known she'd even
existed for two weeks, but she was part of me. I couldn't do it. I couldn't
even see her but I knew she was there.”
Loki was crying softly, and when he turned Thor could see the tears glistening
on his cheeks. “I look at her now, and I love her so much, and I nearly killed
her. I'm so glad... so fucking glad I couldn't do it.”
“And you didn’t,” Thor reminded him gently, and kissed his forehead, stroking
his back until his tears dried. Loki sighed heavily and leaned into Thor,
murmuring something softly under his breath.
“I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Like I’d be anywhere else right now,” Thor said, and kissed him again. “Tell
me more about her. I want to know.”
Loki smiled, his lips still quivering just a little. “Ok. I can show you. This
is her here, look,” he said, and turned the page. It was an ultrasound, and
Thor couldn't make out a damn thing. “Right here,” Loki said, and pointed to a
tiny mass. “That's her. That's the first time I saw her.”
Thor looked closer. It didn't look anything like a baby to him. Loki noticed
the confused look on his face. “Oh Thor, of course she looks a bit strange. She
was 10 weeks old.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” Loki turned the page. There was a large photo of two teenage boys – one
was Loki, the other was unfamiliar. He had short brown hair and dark eyes. They
were sitting down, huddled next to each other. Thor felt a deep stab of
jealousy as he saw how the other boy's arm was around Loki and they were
laughing and looking at each other with unveiled affection. He didn't like it.
“That's James,” Loki said, his face impassive. “He's Briana's father.”
Thor felt like he'd been slapped. Something inside him roared and growled at
the idea of someone else touching and loving his Loki, and though, rationally,
he knew that Loki had been with someone else before him it still grated him to
know he hadn't been the only one.
“When did you tell him?” Thor asked, still trying to subdue his inner green
eyed monster.
Loki sighed. “A few days afterwards. I had to work up the courage. He just...
he just kinda sat there and stared at me, like I was gonna say I was joking or
something. Then he said he had to go and just... I dunno, I think he said
something like 'it'll be ok' and then left. I think it was a lot for him, you
know.”
“He wasn't the one carrying it.”
“I know. Made it easier for him to walk away in the end. At first, once he'd
gotten over it, he said everything would be ok and he'd look after me... Never
really happened. And I thought I was madly in love with him. We'd been together
for just over a year." Loki pursed his lips and shook his head ruefully. “He
was a douchebag. I should have seen it coming. When I started showing that was
it really. Stopped texting, stopped calling. We'd still hang out with our
friends, but he was uncomfortable. I asked him what was wrong and he said he
was annoyed we couldn't have sex any more. The only reason we weren't having
sex was because he never seemed to want it. Then one day we had all planned to
meet at the mall. I got there a little early, and I saw James there, with
someone else. He was kissing her.”
The monster inside Thor rose again, sudden and brutal, and he felt so angry he
wanted to put his fist through the wall. But Loki looked as though he was being
torn apart all over again, having to relive it, and remember how his world had
exploded in on him for the second time. Thor held his hand and squeezed it, but
he knew that nothing he could do could help.
“I left before they saw me. I stopped going out with everyone, I just sat in my
room. I had completely convinced myself that I loved him, but I think now that
was because I was desperate for this to be perfect – for us to be a family that
loved each other. Maybe I was thinking that that would make up for the fact we
were having a baby so young. So I was fucking wrecked. I cried for two days and
wouldn't eat, until I felt so sick I couldn't move. Then I realised I was
harming my baby and I stopped, but the pain didn't. My parents were furious.
James came around one day, driven by guilt maybe, to see me. My dad was so
angry at him James nearly started crying. Fuck, it was horrible, all of it was.
“My dad... god he's put up with so much. I know I'm not exactly the son he had
hoped for. This... it kinda makes it all worse. I know he was disappointed when
he found out I was pregnant. My mom had to tell him, I couldn't. It was so
awkward, neither of us knew what to do, what to say. Then after James had left
that day, he came into my room – and I was bawling my eyes out, because I had
just told James I never wanted to see him again – and he didn't say anything,
just sat down on the bed with me and stayed with me until I felt better. That
meant so, so much to me. After that, he was alright. He took on more work so
that we had more money to buy stuff for Briana. He's proud of her and he loves
her. It's more than I hoped for. In a way we are even closer than we were.”
Loki turned the page. There was a photo of him, smiling proudly, a hand pulling
up his shirt to reveal a slightly swollen belly. He chuckled. “That's the first
photo of my bump. This was two weeks after my argument with James. At that
point I had stopped being sad and started being angry – I had basically decided
that he was a bastard and I was better off without him. I never wanted to see
him again. Unfortunately, because we went to the same school, I kinda ended up
seeing him quite often.
“I stayed in school until my bump became too big. Everyone knew. Everyone knew
I was pregnant, even the teachers and people I had never met. I don't even know
how they found out and to be quite frankly honest, I don't care. A lot of my
so-called friends turned into jerks who teased me and called me a slut. By the
time I was about14 weeks I had about four friends left.”
Thor's stomach twisted into ugly, gruesome knots. The thought of Loki being
bullied and teased and left with so few people to call his friends was
unbearable. He felt like going to Anchorage and punching every person he met.
Over another page. There was a photo of Loki with four people, three guys and a
girl, Loki's belly rounded under his shirt. “These friends. I miss them. I
still email them and text them sometimes. They miss Briana, and me, but they
know why we had to leave. That's Volstagg,” he said, pointing to an enormous
boy with a portly stomach and twinkling eyes. “And Fandral,” who was blond,
slim, and rather good looking. Hogun looked rather grim, and had his arms
crossed, and Sif, the only girl, was pretty and smiling. Thor liked them at
once. “You'd get on with them, I think,” Loki mused. “Your sort of people.” He
looked wistfully at the photo for a few moments and Thor let him be, seeing in
his eyes the pain of leaving behind a life that otherwise would have been a
nice one.
Loki sniffed and turned the page hurriedly. Here were two pages full of
photographs – more of Loki's bump, some with his friends, one of him having an
ultrasound – and on the next page the ultrasound was proudly displayed.
“They made me go in every month for scans. That's more often than usual, but
you can imagine why. The doctors thought I was fascinating, like I was some
sort of rare deformed specimen or something,” Loki said bitterly. “They thought
it was wonderful.”
Thor slid an arm around his waist and squeezed. “But you are wonderful.”
Loki laughed hollowly. “They were more interested in my insides and Briana than
they were about me. One day I lay there for two hours while it seemed like
every doctor in the hospital got to have a look. It was horrible. My dad was so
angry he threatened to lay a complaint with the hospital authority. After that
they apologised and they stopped using me like an experiment.”
“Jesus...” Thor breathed. “That's fucking awful.”
“I know. Fuck!” Loki said suddenly. “It's not like I'm the only person in the
world with this... this stupid disorder. It's common enough for them to think
it's maybe some sort of deliberate genetic mutation. Maybe back from the days
when humans had to fight to survive. I'm not the only one, so they didn't have
to act as though I was.”
“I'm sorry baby,” Thor murmured into Loki's ear, and kissed his cheek.
Loki sighed, but seemed comforted, and closed his eyes and leaned back into
Thor. “We had sex without a condom once. It was after we'd been to the movies
and James didn't want to wait until we got home. We had sex in the back office
of a place where Fandral was working. It wasn't even that good. We thought that
because I was on the pill we'd be alright.”
Thor rocked Loki back and forth, his arms wrapped around his waist. “Do you
regret it?” he asked quietly.
Loki didn't answer for a while. But when he did, it was decisive. “No. I just
wish that, if we'd known we were making a baby, it would have been somewhere
with a bit more class.” He laughed then, but it wasn't sad, and Thor joined in.
“You could always tell her later that it was very romantic,” Thor suggested,
pressing a kiss to the back of Loki's neck.
Loki snorted. “James didn't know the meaning of the word 'romantic'. His idea
of being nice to me was letting me choose which position to have sex in.”
Thor couldn't hold it in – he laughed and laughed, and after a short while,
Loki joined in, albeit reluctantly, until he was laughing just as hard as Thor.
“He sounds like a real winner,” Thor remarked as he wiped tears from his eyes.
“Yup,” Loki said dryly. “I heard he's with some chick now. Dunno if it's the
same girl I saw him with, but I pity her all the same.”
Thor rested his forehead against Loki's. “Forget about him,” he whispered. “He
doesn't matter anymore. Let him do what he wants resting in the knowledge that
you know he's a prick and karma will visit him one day.”
Loki squeezed his eyes closed and giggled. “I can only wish I could be there to
see it.”
Thor smiled and kissed his cheek. “I'm sure your friends will let you know
about it.”
“They will,” Loki said. “They keep an eye on him.” He sighed. “I just... I wish
that he cared about Briana, that's all. After everything, he's still her
father.”
“Has he ever seen her?”
“Yeah,” Loki said quietly, his eyes dark and wistful, as if he was seeing the
past. “Just after she was born, and I was still in the hospital. He came in one
day. I think Fandral told him. He was so nervous. He held her for a little bit,
but jesus, I could tell he was terrified. He kissed me, once, and then got out
of there as fast as he could. He came by when he heard we were moving. I think
his mom made him. Asked for my new address so he could 'keep in touch'. Still
haven't heard from him.”
“Doesn't he have to pay child support?” Thor asked, stroking Loki's hair.
“Yeah. But he doesn't. My dad doesn't think it's worth it trying to pursue
that. We do ok. Briana gets everything she needs. It's not top of the line
stuff, but it's not cheap stuff either.” Loki sighed quietly. “I wanted to get
a job but my parents wouldn't let me. They want me to concentrate on school.”
“And you have a baby to look after,” Thor pointed out.
“I know. It's... hard. I feel guilty that my parents' money goes on her instead
of on stuff they want. We had to cancel our trip to Norway this year because I
was pregnant. Their lives changed just as much as mine.”
There was nothing that Thor could say that could make that better. He held Loki
close and kissed his forehead, and as if Loki pulled his strength from such
soft touches he took a deep breath and turned the page in the album.
There was a large photo of Loki, taken when he was turned to the side, so his
protruding belly was prominent. “Mom told me we had to take these every week.
She was totally adamant,” he said, and laughed. “I have more somewhere, but
they didn't all fit in here. There are heaps of them.”
Thor traced over the photo with a finger. Loki's belly was swollen, and it
looked so foreign on him – because the only Loki that Thor knew was small and
slim. He had a sudden, deep desire to run his hands over that bump, to feel the
life growing inside. It was confusing, not just because he simply couldn't, but
also because such a thought had implications he just wasn't ready for.
“You ok?” Loki asked, his eyebrows furrowed with worry.
“Uh, yeah,” Thor said, and tried to smile, and found it wasn't hard when he
looked at Loki. “I'm fine, really.”
Loki nodded slowly and reached forward to kiss Thor's cheek. “Good.” He turned
back to the album and turned the page. There were more photos of him, his belly
growing ever larger. A few of the photos were of Loki and his mom, and she
looked happy, her eyes shining. It made Thor smile.
On the next page was a photo of Loki with his friends – Fandral, Volstagg,
Hogun and Sif – and he looked hugely pregnant, his belly straining under the
shirt he wore. “How far along were you then?” Thor asked, curious. He traced
Loki's outline with his finger.
“33 weeks. She came two weeks after that photo was taken.”
Thor tried to do the maths in his head and failed. He settled for asking
instead. “Is that full term?”
“Not quite,” Loki said. “Full term is around 37 weeks or something, I'm not
really sure. But she was old enough to be healthy.” He flicked forward a couple
of pages in the album. “Here. This is the day I had to go to hospital.”
There was a photo of Loki in a hospital gown, his black hair tied back from his
face. He was laying on a hospital bed, an IV line attached to his arm, and a
black belt tied around his stomach. He looked nervous and tired, one fist
clenched around the blankets.
Thor found that he just couldn't say anything. He stared at the photo, at this
reality, and tried to block out the sounds of Loki screaming in his head. He
didn't like the thought of this, of Loki in pain.
It didn't help when Loki turned the page again and this time it was a photo of
him in the late stages of labor, the bed now shortened, his legs held up. The
way the photo was taken meant he couldn't see anything, but he could see Loki's
face clearly – covered in sweat, his hair messy and stringy, face contorted
with pain.
“Was someone with you?” Thor asked, his voice sounding foreign to his ears,
because he didn't like this, didn't like it at all... he could see the pain and
it made him hurt.
“Yeah, my mom, she took the photos,” Loki said quietly, and Thor felt his hand
on his arm. “I can put this away if you want.”
Thor thought for a moment about saying yes, about telling Loki how these
pictures made something inside him shift. But when he opened his mouth, all he
could say was “No”.
Loki nodded slowly, and turned the page. The next photo was slightly blurry, as
if it had been taken in a hurry. The photographer had been sitting right next
to Loki, and Thor could see two hands grasped together on the blanket. But the
photo had really been taken of a baby, just born, covered in white and red, and
screaming, held up by a doctor in blue surgical gear. It was Briana, her first
few seconds in the world, and Thor couldn't breathe.
He felt Loki flop against him, his head in the hollow of his neck, and he
wrapped an arm around him. They stared at the photo for a little while – Thor
just amazed that this was what Loki had done, had brought into the world.
“Wow,” he said eventually, when he found his voice, and he felt Loki smile into
his shoulder.
“It was worth it,” Loki said, his voice muffled. “Worth all the pain. Worth
everything.”
Thor leaned over to kiss the top of Loki's head. “You're pretty amazing.”
Loki giggled. “Thank you.” He reached out a hand and flipped the page. This
time, Briana was clean and pink, wrapped in a plush yellow blanket. Loki was
holding her to his bare chest, looking down at her with nothing short of an
enraptured look on his face. Thor was pretty sure his heart had stopped to
swoon with him.
“That's the first time I got to hold her,” Loki said quietly. “She was so
small.”
“She's beautiful. So are you,” Thor said, and smiled, and though Loki looked
for a moment as though Thor was having him on he quickly realised he wasn't.
“Thank you,” he said softly, eyes shining, and Thor wondered how often he got
to hear that.
The next few pages were full of photos of Loki and Briana just after she was
born. There was a photo of her being weighed, of Loki dressing her for the
first time, of her sleeping. She was tiny, and gorgeous, and Thor thought that
perhaps he was beginning to understand this utter devotion that Loki had to
her.
Then the photos changed, and were obviously of when Loki had been able to take
her home. There were photos of Briana with Loki's mom and dad and his
grandmother, and with Loki himself. She was a happy baby, always smiling.
One of Thor's favourite photos was of Briana curled up on the floor next to a
black and white cat, who was watching over her quite protectively. “Is that
your cat?” he asked Loki.
The smile faded from Loki's face. “Yeah. My parents bought him for me when we
first moved to Anchorage because I had to leave my cat behind in Norway when we
left. He was just a kitten back then. His name is Liten.”
“'Liten'?” Thor asked.
“It's Norwegian for 'small'. I was only 7,” he said, and smiled briefly. “We
had to leave him behind when we left. After everything... having Briana, all
the things we needed for her, moving here... there was just no money to bring
him.” His face crumpled, as if he was about to cry. “I left him with Sif. She
looks after him, but I miss him so much.”
“Oh Loki, I'm so sorry....” Thor whispered, feeling the pain that Loki must
have endured to leave him behind like that. Loki just nodded, his shoulders
sagging, and Thor pulled him close for a quick hug.
“He's such a cool cat,” Loki said, wistful. “He was so good around Briana.” As
if it was too painful to keep remembering, he quickly flipped over the page.
Photos of Loki and Briana with his friends filled both sides, their smiling
faces bright and cheerful. Loki looked so happy with them and with Briana that
Thor had to wonder where things had begun to go wrong.
“Why did you move here? Was it really your dad's job?” Thor asked, remembering
that Loki had told him his dad had had a transfer.
Loki sighed heavily. “Yes and no. It was just... everyone knew about Briana,
and James and me, and for a while it was pretty much all everyone could talk
about. You would've thought nothing else ever happened there. I guess after
Briana was born nothing was ever the same. My parents figured it was better for
us to have a new start. My dad put in for a transfer and they sent us here.”
Thor couldn't help but feel strange about this. On the one hand, he was upset
that Loki's situation had effectively driven him away from most of his friends
and made him feel alienated, and on the other, he was grateful that Loki had
come here - because if he hadn't, they would never have met. He swallowed down
his discordant feelings.
“You didn't choose to come here?” he asked.
Loki shook his head. “There's a strong possibility that they just got my dad to
throw a dart at a map of America to determine where we were going. It could
have been anywhere. But,” he said, turning to Thor and smiling, “I think we
came to the right place.”
“Me too,” Thor replied, and grinned. “I can't imagine not having you around.”
“I just can't imagine not having you,” Loki said, utterly serious, and he leant
up to kiss Thor. “Thank you, for everything you've done for me.”
Thor, almost bewildered, shook his head. “I haven't done anything...”
“Yes you have. You let me be friends with you and shared your friends with me.
You sat with me so I didn't feel like a loser. You took me home when I wasn't
feeling well. You knew how serious I was about schoolwork and you went around
all my teachers and got work for me. You stuck by me even when I was holding
things back, and you knew I wasn't telling you everything. You make me want to
get up in the morning, and sometimes, I swear to god, you're the only reason I
do. You made moving here from my home to a place I didn't know bearable. You
make everything better,” Loki said, his eyes fierce, as if daring Thor to say
no, that he didn't do any of that...
But instead Thor couldn't really speak. No-one had ever said anything like that
to him before. For a moment, he felt guilty, because he realised that many of
his actions had occurred out of a deeply selfish want – to be near Loki, to
spend as much time as possible with him, because just being with Loki made him
feel good. Then he figured that that didn't matter, that what had had happened
had happened, and Loki loved him for it. He couldn't ask for anything else.
So instead he smiled – shakily, because he was still figuring out everything in
his head and he couldn't do too much at once – and bent forwards to ask Loki
for a kiss, and happily, for a little that was all they did.
*
Thor lay back against the pillows, Loki snuggled in his arms. A part of him
felt completely exhausted, despite having done nothing physical of much
consequence. It was a mental and emotional exhaustion that made his brain want
to just shut down, to stop thinking of anything but the feel of Loki against
him. But his mind couldn't stop working, as if it was overtired to the point
where it just couldn't stop, and even as Loki closed his eyes and seemed to
drift away he lay there thinking about everything that Loki had confessed to
him that morning.
With a hand he stroked Loki's soft hair, and felt him mumble with pleasure.
Loki felt so right just being there that he couldn't imagine letting him go.
Even with everything – it was so much that he couldn't sum it up, couldn't
condense it into just a few words. That Loki had even expected him to get up
and walk away burned at him, because somehow he had made Loki think that he
would. Perhaps it was just that after two others had done the same, Loki had
expected no other decision. But he couldn't put into words why that would have
been so impossible for him, despite that he wished Loki knew how he felt about
him.
So all he could do was hold on, and press Loki close, and hope that through
actions and touch he could convey what he couldn't say. Everything had changed,
but everything had stayed the same, because nothing Loki could tell him would
make him go away. He still found it overwhelming to think that Loki had a
daughter, but now that he knew it, he could not separate the idea of Loki from
the concept of mother. Loki was Briana's mother, Briana was Loki's daughter.
That was now how the universe worked.
“You're thinking,” Loki murmured into his chest. “Stop it before you hurt
yourself.”
Thor just laughed and tightened his arms around him. “I need time to process.”
“That's what worries me.” Loki pulled himself up until he was staring down at
Thor, his face soft and smiling. “It's a lot to take in.”
“But I can do it,” Thor told him, and reached up to kiss the end of his nose.
Loki squealed and smiled with pleasure. “Well, don't strain anything.”
“I won't,” Thor said quietly.
Then the little smile faded off Loki's face, and worry was rent into his
features. “You aren't mad at me, are you?” he asked, the question wrought with
fear.
Thor shook his head. “No. Don't you remember, the first time you came to my
house? We listened to Dream Theater. You told me there was something you
couldn't tell me, and that you would when you were ready. You never held it
back deliberately. You weren't cruel. You weren't ready for a long time, and
today you were. I can't be angry at that.”
From where he was laying, Thor could see tears gather in Loki's green eyes.
They made his eyes shimmer, like he was looking into water. “Thank you,” Loki
said softly, his voice quavering just a little, and Thor leaned up to kiss away
the tears.
“Don't worry,” Thor said, and sat up, making Loki tumble into his lap with a
giggle. He wrapped his arms around Loki and rocked him, side to side. “I'll
look after you. And Briana.”
“Really?” Loki asked, sounding breathless.
Thor nodded. “She's yours. She's your baby. You two go together. I want to love
her as much as I love you.” He swallowed hard, because what he really wanted to
say, he just couldn’t seem to find the words for. He just hoped that Loki would
understand.
Loki just stared up at him for a moment, before finding the words to speak. “Do
you mean it?” he asked, looking at Thor as if he expected him to change his
mind.
“Yes. Of course I do,” Thor said gently but firmly. He knew that he really had
no idea what he was getting himself into, but god, right then, he didn’t care.
Loki’s face collapsed into a smile that seemed to take over his whole body. He
laughed, and turned away as to compose himself. “You know, that's the best
thing anyone's ever said to me.”
Thor was totally confused. “About what? What do you mean?”
“Briana! You… I… You said… I didn't, I don’t want her growing up with… with
just me,” Loki said, looking a little shy for a moment.
Oh. He didn’t realize until that moment what he had said meant to Loki, and a
burning warmth swept through him at the idea of it. Of course, saying it and
doing it were two different things, but fuck, Thor was going to die trying just
to make sure Loki always looked like that.
*
After Loki had smothered Thor with kisses and thank you's he tugged Thor out of
bed with the promise of food. It was past 2pm and Thor had barely eaten that
day, and his stomach felt like a giant black hole. The house was quiet, though
as they came closer to the living room Thor could hear the muted sounds of a
television with the volume right down.
Loki's grandmother was doing a crossword on the couch, a daytime talk show on
the television. Briana was lying in a bassinet, fast asleep, her tiny hands
clenched up above her head. Loki made for her first, crouching down to kiss her
softly on the forehead, trying hard not to disturb her. Thor watched quietly,
smiling, this the first time that he had seen Loki with what he now knew was
his daughter. Looking at them now, he wondered how the hell he'd missed it.
“She had a bottle about half an hour ago and she's been asleep since then,”
Loki's grandmother said, putting aside her crossword and standing up. She
smiled at Thor, and not for the first time Thor was struck by how constantly
welcoming this family was.
“Thank you,” Loki said, still crouched down by Briana. “I'm sorry, I should
have come out to feed her before.”
“It's alright, elskling. She's happy.” She walked over to Loki as he stood and
kissed him on his forehead. “I'll make you two some lunch.”
Loki started to protest, saying that he could do it, but she smiled and shook
her head and moved past him into the kitchen. Thor and Loki were left in the
living room with Briana, who had hardly stirred. Loki bent back down beside her
again, then looked up at Thor and smiled. “Come here,” he said softly.
Thor walked over slowly, feeling almost slightly awkward, because for all his
words, this was something else entirely.
“I want you to meet her properly,” Loki said. Thor found himself crouching
right next to Loki, so close they were pressed together, and this time, when he
looked down at Briana, he could see that the shape of her eyes and the shape of
her nose was just like Loki's, and the little hair she had was the same ebony
color as his.
“Hey Briana,” Thor whispered, still unsure of what to do and how to behave. He
touched her gently, stroking her soft skin, terrified that his comparatively
massive limbs would hurt her. Loki just smiled at him, eyes shining, and he
looked so happy and so proud that Thor had to reach over and kiss him. “She's
so beautiful,” Thor said quietly. “You did a great job.”
Loki giggled, biting his lip as he tried to hide his delight, and Thor thought
it was beautiful. Like daughter, like mother. “Thank you,” Loki said, and
ducked his head as he blushed. Thor couldn't help but think it was adorable and
kissed his face wherever he could reach. It only made Loki giggle harder, and
so after a minute or so he was pressing against his chest and pressing a finger
to his lip to make Thor stop.
“Don't want her to wake up,” Loki whispered, and Thor decided not to point out
that Loki had been the one giggling. He just nodded and pulled Loki up to sit
on the couch next to her. Loki flopped over him, half-sprawled on his lap, and
lay his head against his chest.
“You ok?” Thor whispered, wrapping his arms around him.
“Yeah,” Loki said, with a quiet sigh. “Tired. You're comfortable, don't move.”
Thor laughed quietly. “I won't, I promise.”
“Good,” Loki mumbled, and Thor didn't have to look at him to know he'd closed
his eyes. Then everything was quiet, apart from Loki's occasional soft sighs.
Briana stretched out in her bassinet, still deeply asleep, and Thor watched
her, not out of paranoia but out of a type of fascination, because she was
Loki's baby and all of this was still so new.
Loki shifted in his arms and pressed his face against his neck, bringing him
back to the present. Thor was pretty sure it wasn't meant to be like this –
that they were too young to consider that what they had was of any sort of
importance, that they were kids playing an adult's game. But it felt real, to
them, and he guessed that that was what they had to cling on to.
Thor lost himself in his thoughts, forgetting about the time and even where he
was, lost in the realm of possibility and curiosity. There were still things he
wanted to know, gaps where there should be stories, and he wished almost that
he and Loki hadn't stopped talking. There was his own story as well, rather
bland when compared to Loki's, but if he can know Loki's then it was only right
that Loki knew his. He made a note to rectify the situation.
It took him a moment to realise that someone was calling his name. It took even
less time for Loki, despite the fact that he was asleep, for he opened his
eyes, sat upright so quickly he nearly fell off Thor's lap, and said,
“Waffles!”
*
Loki hadn’t been wrong. A pile of waffles sat on the table, hot and soft and
delicious. Thor had had them before, both American and Norwegian style (his
mother liked to make them occasionally) and the waffles on the plate are
Norwegian through and through – the cardamom burst in his mouth and was
wonderfully delicious, and thank god that Loki's grandmother must have been
used to teenage boys because she made a stack a foot high, and between the two
of them it was demolished within a quarter of an hour.
Remembering his mother's constant exhortations to be polite, Thor washed up and
Loki dried. By the time they'd finished and returned to the couch, he was
feeling rather satiated and mellow. Loki collapsed into his lap and Thor
clutched his hips, letting him lean back against him.
He was quite prepared to just pass out.
So he barely moved when Loki's grandmother came past with her handbag, and said
that she might as well do some shopping if they were around to watch Briana.
Loki slid off Thor's lap and gave her a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek, and
Thor managed a smile and a wave before she left.
Loki flopped onto the couch next to him.
“I think your grandmother poisoned me with her waffles,” Thor said, and
groaned.
Loki laughed and slapped his stomach. “You ate too much, didn't you?”
“Don't know what you're talking about.”
“You were stuffing them in.”
“So were you.”
“Not as much as you.”
Thor poked out a tongue. “I'm bigger than you. Therefore, I have to eat more.”
Loki scoffed. “Fatty.”
It was too much for Thor. He cracked up. “Fatty? Seriously?”
“Give me a couple of minutes to come up with a better insult.”
“You have two seconds.”
“That's not fair.”
“Life's not fair, Loki. You know that.”
“Are we arguing? Is this our first argument? Over waffles?” Loki asked, his
face innocent and eyes wide.
“I think waffles are a great topic for a first argument. Food of the gods.”
“Yeah. The gods of over-eating.”
“I'll recover. Eventually.”
“Not without a whole lot of whinging, apparently.”
“Meh, comes with the territory,” Thor said easily. “You wait until you meet my
dad.”
Loki looked up. “I've never met your dad, have I?”
“Nah. He's away a lot. He's back from Norway tomorrow.”
“What does he do? He's not a hitman, is he?”
Thor opened his mouth as if to speak, and then shut it again. “I was going to
say no, but I guess that I really don't know... he could be a hitman. Cos he
wouldn't exactly tell us, would he?” Thor asked seriously. Loki stared at him
with his big green eyes and shook his head slowly. “He says he's a lawyer.
Apparently.”
“That could be a good cover for a hitman.”
“Yeah, it could be...” Thor pondered. “I'm not sure how I feel about having a
hitman as a father, though.”
“Awkward family conversations about future careers.”
“Yes. I guess I'll just have to pretend I didn't find out.”
“Best course of action I think.”
“Glad you agree.”
Loki caved in and giggled so hard he had to shove his hand over his mouth so he
wouldn't wake Briana. Thor laughed and watched him with no little affection.
Loki was free with his emotions – something that Thor had sometimes struggled
with himself – and in times like this when Loki was happy, it made him happy.
“You look sappy,” Loki pointed out as his giggles subsided. “I don't like
sappy.”
Thor pouted. “You make me want to be sappy.”
“I'm not sure whether or not I ought to be pleased,” Loki said, “and expect red
roses on my desk in homeroom every morning.”
“Hmmm,” Thor murmured, and pulled Loki over him until he was straddling his lap
and leaning against his chest. “I think I would be broke after about the first
week.”
“That's not very romantic,” Loki whispered, his lips tracing Thor's cheek.
“Best I can do,” Thor said quietly, and captured Loki's wandering lips with his
own. He felt Loki's arms slide around his neck, his hands sliding through his
hair. Loki's hips pushed into his, and made him lose his breath as he felt Loki
grind into him slowly.
“You keep doing that and I'll have no choice but to get romantic,” Thor pointed
out through clenched teeth.
Loki just gave him a wicked smile and did it again, but even slower if
possible. The contact made Thor whine and throw back his head, because Loki
knew exactly what he was doing and how to do it... He felt his cock respond,
and when Loki gasped he knew that he could feel it too.
“Told you,” Thor hissed, as his blood rapidly went south. He gripped Loki's
waist tightly and then ran a hand down over his ass, sliding it between his
legs, and Loki cried out and bucked his hips as Thor pressed down.
“Ffffucck,” Loki moaned, his breath coming in stutters, hips turning in a lazy
circle as Thor rubbed him through his pants. Thor's lips sucked at his
collarbone, eager to leave a mark, and Loki's body slowly sunk down onto Thor
as he became boneless, body captured by pleasure. They rocked together, bodies
moving in sync, chests heaving for air, panting and gasping. Thor could feel
the heat rolling off Loki in waves, swamping the air between them with warmth,
and his skin tingled and grew hot with every touch as Loki ran his hands over
him.
“More,” Loki gasped, and frantically pawed at Thor's belt. He pulled it open
with clumsy fingers and nearly broke off the button as he fought to open Thor's
jeans, and harshly he yanked the zip down. Thor's cock was full and heavy, and
Loki's fingers felt cool against his heated flesh as they slid around him. Loki
pulled him free and smashed his lips against Thor's as he roughly jerked him
off, his body still rolling against him.
“Mmmm wait, baby wait,” Thor panted, and found Loki's pants. Loki stilled for a
moment and helped Thor pull them down, until his own cock was free and hard
against Thor's hands. Then without hesitation his mouth was back on Thor's,
tongue lapping at Thor's lips until they opened. It was more of a fight than
like making love, different to every time before for them, but Thor's thought
processes were in his dick rather than his brain, and all he could do was go
with it, and slide his hands under Loki's boxers to cup his ass and pull him
closer, until their cocks were rubbing together and every movement was ecstasy.
Loki was almost thrashing against him, hips jerking uncontrollably, desperate
whines echoing from his throat even as he kissed Thor with a frantic ferocity.
Thor slid his hands down Loki's ass and fingered his entrance, feeling it
clench beneath his skin, as if trying to suck him in. He pushed against the
soft flesh and felt Loki yield, until he was buried to the first knuckle. Loki
whined into his mouth and stopped, just for the barest moment, and tightened
around him.
“Oh fuck Thor...” he panted, and pressed his face into Thor's shoulder. “More!
Hurry up!”
But Thor didn't, he pulled out instead, and Loki cried out with frustration.
“Up,” Thor said, and half a second after Loki looked at him he had his fingers
in Loki's mouth. Loki sucked hard, his tongue darting between Thor's fingers,
and his green eyes, dark with lust, stared back at Thor with an intense glare.
“Enough,” Thor said, and pulled his fingers free. Loki pulled himself up by
pressing on Thor's shoulders, and rearranged his legs, so that this time when
Thor slid his hands under his pants it was easier.
“Both of them,” Loki whispered, his wet tongue licking at Thor's ear, and as he
slid his fingers in without warning Loki grunted and tensed, before keening
with utter desperation.
Thor didn't hesitate. He jerked his fingers out and thrust them back in, as
deep as he could, and Loki bucked, his hips snapping forward. “Fuck yes,” Loki
panted, his eyes clenched shut and mouth open as he gasped for air. “Fuck
harder, please!”
Thor obliged. He rammed his fingers in and out, seeking out Loki's prostate
every time, making Loki jump and thrust against him, his voice broken and
desperate in his ears. He could barely think through the haze of lust that
clouded his mind, but breaking through was the thought of
minemineminemoremoremore, though Loki was chanting something similar in his ear
so maybe it wasn’t him at all.
Loki's hands were wrapped around both their cocks, glistening precum lining his
palm to ease the way, pumping the hard flesh together and through his hands.
Thor clenched one hand around his waist to keep him on top, through Loki was
thrusting so hard against him he had to hold so tight he knew there'd be a
bruise the next day. It was hard and frantic and rough, animalistic and
desperate.
“Fuck yes,” Loki hissed, his voice dark in Thor's ear. “Wish this was your
cock.”
“Next time,” Thor panted, tightening his hold on Loki's skin. “Next time. I'll
fuck you so hard you'll feel it for a week.”
Loki groaned, his mouth lax and open, eyes pressed shut. Thor watched him as
Loki ground down on his fingers, trying to take them deeper every time, trying
to make Thor give in.
“Shit... harder, fuck! More, please, god,” Loki demanded, eyes wide and blazing
now.
Thor didn't wait. He thrust another finger up inside Loki, and spread them,
stretching Loki around him. Loki almost screamed, his desperate litany
undecipherable, and Thor knew he was going to come when he felt Loki's muscles
start to contract.
“That's it baby, that's it... do it, fuck yourself.” Thor forced out the words,
one by one, his lungs fighting for air, cock hard and aching.
Loki gave in and wailed, his muscles clenching and unclenching and clenching
around Thor, gripping his fingers so hard he couldn't move them. He came over
his hands, hot white stickiness pouring down his skin, and Thor watched as Loki
lost himself in his pleasure. He couldn't do anything – couldn't let go of his
hold of Loki for fear he'd fall, couldn't release his fingers while Loki
gripped him so tight. So he watched, burning inside, as Loki gasped and cried
his way through his orgasm, his body tense and hard.
Then Loki's eyes opened slowly, his breath returned to his lungs, and Thor was
able to slip his hand free. He gripped Loki's waist and flipped him around and
down until he was lying against the arm of the couch, his legs spread obscenely
before Thor, come still white on the skin of his hands. Thor grabbed his cock
and manoeuvred his way forward, until he was almost touching Loki, and fisted
himself rapidly, his hand almost a blur. He looked down at Loki while he jerked
himself off, eyes wandering over his body. Loki's eyes were dark, looking at
him from under lowered eyelashes, one relaxed hand trailing fingers lazily over
the skin of his thigh.
“Come on babe,” Loki whispered. “I wanna watch you come.”
It was enough for Thor to groan and release, letting his come splatter over
Loki's cock. It rushed through him like a tidal wave, powerful and rough,
leaving him breathless and aching. He collapsed forward, one hand clutching at
the cushions beneath Loki in a desperate attempt to take his weight, while
Loki's arms came up to press against his shoulders. He could feel Loki beneath
him, so close he felt the rise and fall of his chest, and with a gasp he buried
his head in Loki's neck. His hand stuttered on his cock, eking out what was
left, until with one last bare thrust he finished and lay there, panting.
“Shit,” Thor breathed, still pressed into Loki. He could feel a hand in his
hair, another on his shoulder, stroking his skin. “I'm sorry.”
“For what?” Loki asked quietly.
“Squashing you to death. Being so rough.”
Loki's giggle rang out through the room. “You are a bit heavy. But I liked the
rough bit.”
Thor pushed himself up until he was resting on his hands. “You did?”
“Yeah,” Loki said with a smile, and bit his lip. “James never did anything like
that with me. He always thought that I would break,” he said, and scowled.
Thor laughed, because Loki scowling was the cutest thing he'd ever seen. It
just made Loki scowl even more. “Stop it,” Loki demanded, and swiped at his
face.
“No. And you have come all over your hands.”
“And your cheek,” Loki said petulantly.
Thor sighed and sat up. “That’s gross,” he said, and screwed up his face.
“You made me.”
Thor looked around for tissues, but the only thing close to hand was a pack of
baby wipes on the coffee table. He pulled out a handful and let them fall onto
Loki’s chest one by one.
“What, you’re not going to romantically wipe the glistening sheen from my
skin?” Loki asked sarcastically, cleaning off one hand and throwing the wipe at
Thor, who didn’t manage to duck in time.
“The only thing that’s glistening is that white stuff…” Thor had to duck again
before he could finish his sentence.
“You carry on like this I’m going to insist on condoms all round,” Loki
threatened, even wagging his finger.
Thor looked up, his hair straggly and damp around his face, and poked out his
tongue. “We’d run out of condoms.”
“We can get more,” Loki said, and poked out his tongue.
Thor just laughed as he grabbed a wipe and gently cleaned up his mess. Loki
hissed at the contact on his cock, and then moaned softly as Thor lingered.
“Uffphh, that feels good,” Loki whispered, looking down, and Thor impossibly
felt his cock stir again. He slid a hand down Loki’s inner thigh, rubbing at
the soft skin. Loki’s hips were undulating minutely, pushing him into Thor’s
hand, and he tossed away the wipe before running his thumb over Loki’s soft
hole.
“Oh fuck,” Loki hissed through clenched teeth, and he snapped his hips forward,
trying to get Thor to push inside.
Thor couldn’t find the words to say how hot this was, how having Loki so pliant
and desperate under his hands made his body burn with lust. He leaned forward
inside and kissed the corner of Loki’s mouth, darting out his tongue to lick
his lower lip, and Loki reared up below him, body hard against him and thighs
shaking, hips rocking.
“Inside,” Loki whispered. “Fuck me. I want you inside me.”
Thor bit his lip and moaned, because holy hell just the thought was enough to
make his hard cock twitch. “Be right back,” he said, his voice thick, and
wrangled himself off of Loki and off the couch, but then his jeans were tangled
around his knees and he nearly fell.
Loki snorted with laughter, and Thor was about to tell him to shut up when
Briana started to wail.
“Oh shit,” Loki gasped, and then he was pulling his pants back up and was off
the couch faster than Thor thought he could possibly go in that state. He could
only watch as Loki bent over the bassinet, cooing, and the harsh reality of
parenting made him sigh and tug his jeans back on. Maybe later then, if he was
lucky.
*
Loki paced up and down the living room, Briana clutched against his chest. She
was still sniffling, and Loki soothed her back, patting her gently. From where
he sat on the couch, Thor could see her tiny fists wrapped in Loki’s shirt.
“Shhhhh,” Loki whispered as she whimpered, and kissed her head. She gurgled and
closed her eyes, finally exhausted, and Loki sighed with relief and sat down
next to Thor. “Sometimes she goes on like this all night.”
“No wonder you look like you haven’t slept sometimes.”
“Yeah, that’s generally because I haven’t,” Loki mused, and leaned back against
the couch. “Sometimes my grandmother stays up with her so I can sleep.”
“Did she come to live with you to help look after her?” Thor asked, turning
into Loki and wrapping an arm around the back of his head.
“No,” Loki said, and shook his head. “She moved with us to Alaska after her
husband – my grandfather – died. She said there was nothing left in Norway for
her. So she looks after Briana during the day when I’m at school.”
“That’s nice of her.”
“Yeah. I dunno what I’d do without her. When I have to study she looks after
Briana then too. And she does so much around the house, most of the cooking and
everything. It’s not much of a retirement but she says she’d go crazy if she
sat around knitting.”
Thor laughed. “She’s really nice.”
Loki nodded. “That’s mormor for you.”
Thor was puzzled for a moment, but his mother’s intermittent and sparse
Norwegian lessons came back to him. “Your mother’s mother, then.”
Loki cracked a smile, like Thor had just said his first word. “Yeah. You know
more Norwegian than you let on.”
Thor shrugged. “My parents speak Norwegian to each other, and my mother tries
to teach me some every now and again, but I never really learned it properly.”
“Maybe I could teach you,” Loki said quietly, still smiling, and between them
Briana was making tiny noises, her fists still tangled in Loki’s shirt.
“Sounds good,” Thor said, and leaned forward to kiss Loki softly.
*
Thor found the remote when he realised he’d been sitting on it, and Loki found
reruns of NCIS. They’d both seen most of the episodes before, but it was still
nice to just sit there, the afternoon drawing away in the soft light that fell
through the bay window. Briana was asleep on Loki’s lap, and at some point
Thor’s hand had shifted to cradle her head, and just stayed there. She fit in
his palm, still so small to him, despite Loki’s protestations that she was even
smaller when she was born.
“She’s so small now,” he pointed out. “I know she’s 4 months old -”
“Five, now,” Loki interjected.
“Five, then. But is she small? Smaller than she should be, I mean.”
“They weren’t worried at her last check-up. She’s on the lower end of the scale
for her age, but she’s growing ok. She’ll get bigger,” Loki said, and grinned.
“She grows out of clothes so fast she barely has time to wear some of them.”
“Maybe you’re feeding her too much then,” Thor teased, and nipped at Loki’s ear
with his teeth.
Loki swatted him away. “If I don’t feed her when she expects to be fed she
screams the house down. I don’t have much of a choice.”
“Naughty baby,” Thor mused, and slid his arm from around Loki’s neck so he
could bend down and kiss Briana’s forehead. She squirmed a little under him,
but didn’t wake, and he didn’t move back up, just stayed there and watched her
sleep, because she really was beautiful. And she was Loki’s.
When he sat back up, Loki was waiting for him, and carefully as he could he
moved closer to snuggle up next to him, head on his shoulder. He ran a finger
down Briana’s jumpsuit, marvelling at just how soft and delicate she was.
“Do you want to hold her?” Loki asked, and then suddenly something in Thor
froze up, because what if he dropped her? What if he hurt her? Really, he
didn't know the first thing about babies. “It's ok,” Loki reassured, sensing
his anxiousness. “I’ll stay with you.”
Thor was torn. He wanted to hold her, badly, but he was terrified he would
screw it up, and something would happen and Loki would hate him… but then Loki
squeezed his arm and smiled at him and Thor realised would be ok. “S-sure,” he
stuttered, sitting up, trying desperately to not look like he was on the verge
of freaking out.
Loki wrapped his hands around Briana gently and lifted her up, until she was
cradled in his arms. “Here,” Loki said softly, and without even thinking Thor
found his arms under Loki’s, taking her as carefully as he could. She stared up
at him, this stranger, with her huge eyes, and she was so delicate and so small
that for a moment Thor thought he couldn't possibly be trusted with her, she
was too innocent, too tiny.
“How can you even bear to let her go?” Thor asked, finally starting to
understand all this child business.
Loki smiled. “Sometimes I can't.”
“God, she's so tiny...”
“She’ll grow,” Loki reminded him, his smile wide and bright.
“Jesus.”
“And then she'll get older and older... It's kind of scary.”
For the first time in his life, Thor understood the wistfulness that came over
his mother sometimes, when she told him stories of things he'd done when he was
younger, and pulled out his baby clothes and his baby pictures, the ones in
which he could barely recognise himself, let alone all the people around him
and the places he'd been. She always told him how big he'd gotten, and it
always used to annoy him – now, he didn't think he could be annoyed at her for
it again.
And then something rushed over him, something terrifying, but at the same time
holding a promise and a new future. It was the idea that perhaps, now, in a
way, he was a father. Briana's real father hadn't cared about her, but this was
her chance to have someone there who did care, who would look after her mother
and hold their tiny family together. Jesus Christ, when he first laid eyes on
Loki – not that long ago, really – he'd never expected this. He remembered now
too, that Loki had been carrying Briana – who he'd mistaken for Loki's sister.
What a beautiful mistake.
For a while, they just sat there – Thor holding Briana, who had settled and was
drifting back to sleep, and Loki, who reclined with his head on Thor's
shoulders, watching her. Thor almost felt too scared to hand her back, in case
she woke up and he'd disturbed her, or in case he dropped her. She was so
fragile that he had to resist the urge to hold her tighter, because he didn't
want to hurt her. Loki didn't seem worried though, which gave him reassurance.
She snuggled into him and seemed quite happy, and so Loki was happy. The TV was
still going, and Thor found himself drifting into a sort of haze where
everything was comfortable and just right, and time didn’t matter, and he could
have happily stayed there forever.
It was broken by the sound of the key in the lock of the door, and Thor didn’t
register it at first, and neither did Loki, until the door opened and Loki’s
mother came in. She said a cheery hello to which both Thor and Loki managed to
muster a reply and then went into the kitchen, but it wasn’t until Loki gasped
quietly and began to gather up the used wet-wipes at great speed and hide them
under a cushion that Thor even found himself operating at normal capacity.
“What are you doing?” he hissed, half serious and half laughing, until Loki
glared at him.
“They’re gross and I don’t want my mom to know what we did on the sofa,” he
pointed out in a whisper.
Thor chuckled and shook his head, because he had a feeling that Loki’s mother
was well past the idea of her son having sex. She came back into the living
room, and Loki hopped up to give her a hug – Thor couldn’t remember the last
time he’d done that with his own mom. Something like a touch of envy burned
inside him. He guessed that he’d probably decided he was too old to do that one
day, and that was that.
“Hi Thor,” she said warmly, and for a split second Thor thought about giving
her a hug too. But then she was bending down to coo over Briana, who seemed to
be waking, squirming as she was in Thor’s arms. Thor let her take her gently,
his arms almost heavy and foreign without Briana’s weight. Loki collapsed back
into his side and Thor wrapped his arms around him instead, feeling a little
empty now.
Loki nuzzled into his neck and kissed him softly, and Thor smiled but had to
turn to see what Loki was up to – his mother was just right there – and Loki
was grinning, his smile wide.
“What?” Thor whispered, and then kissed the grin off his face. He knew Loki’s
mother was watching them and could just about feel her roll her eyes.
“Boys!” she said, but not angrily, and when Thor looked up she was smiling.
“Can you stay for dinner, Thor?” she asked, rocking Briana from side to side.
It took him a little by surprise, because he hadn’t expected Loki’s mother to
take to him so quickly. Or at all, really. Wasn’t he horribly defiling her son
every chance he had? Perhaps she was luring him into a false sense of security
before the kill.
But they were both looking at him, waiting for an answer, and Thor was about to
say ‘yes’ (because even if she killed him, at least he’d be with Loki) when he
remembered that his mother expected him home to have that ‘talk’. He could just
about feel his face fall. “I would love to, but I promised my mother I’d be
home tonight.”
“That’s ok,” she said, not deterred at all. “Tomorrow night, then?”
“Sure,” Thor replied, hoping like hell his own mother wouldn’t kill him tonight
and he’d be alive to make it. “I’d love too, Mrs…” he trailed off, suddenly
realising he had no idea what her name was or even what her last name was,
because of course Loki’s surname came from his father.
“Farbauti,” Loki’s mother - Farbauti - said, with a smile. “Just call me
Farbauti.”
“Farbauti,” Thor repeated, and nodded with a smile. Beside him, he could feel
Loki trace cool fingers over the skin at his hip.
“Come around whenever you like, we’ll be home all day. Now, you,” she said to
Loki, “can have your daughter back, while I get started on dinner.” She handed
Briana back to Loki, who took her carefully and snuggled her against his chest.
She headed back to the kitchen, and Thor looked at the clock, because he hadn’t
realised it was that late.
“I should get home soon,” he said reluctantly. He knew that the best way to
keep on his mother’s good side was to do everything else right.
“Ok,” Loki said quietly, almost a little unhappily, and Thor knew exactly how
he felt.
“I don’t want to go,” he whispered, and kissed just below Loki’s ear. “I’ll see
you again tomorrow, right?”
“Right,” Loki said, with a soft smile that trembled just ever so slightly. Thor
kissed the tremble away.
“Text me,” he said, and then remembered, quite suddenly, the state of Loki’s
cellphone that Loki had shown him not so long ago on this same sofa. “Did you
get a new phone?” he asked, because of course Loki had been texting him last
night.
“Yes and no. Dad managed to get the sim card out of my old one and he lent me
his old phone until I can get a new one. It works, at least, more than what I
can say about the old one.”
“Are you going to keep it out of car doors?” Thor asked dryly, earning himself
a withering look.
“No, I thought that would be the best place to keep it safe,” Loki said
sarcastically, and poked his tongue out. “Fuck you, Thor.”
“No, fuck you, Loki,” Thor whispered in his ear. “I missed out on one today, I
expect to make up for it tomorrow.” He could practically feel Loki shiver.
“If you’re lucky,” Loki whispered back, with a smile that said, of course
you’ll damn well get one.. “Now, get home before you get in trouble.”
“You ok?” Thor asked, knowing perfectly well that Loki would understand every
single meaning that Thor meant with it.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m ok,” Loki reassured him, and kissed him on his nose. “Don’t
forget your bag.”
Shit. “I’ll be back,” Thor said, and Loki just nodded knowingly.
Thor slid off the couch and dashed back to Loki’s room, grabbing his phone and
his bag before heading back to the living room. Loki hadn’t moved, was still
rocking Briana on his lap, but she was awake now, all traces of sleep gone.
“Bye, darling,” Thor said, and kissed Loki just once more, and bend down to
whisper the same to Briana and kiss her too. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“You’d better,” Loki said forcefully, and pulled Thor down for the last kiss.
“Now get out of here.”
“As you wish.” He waved, then closed the door behind him, and began to trudge
home.
Chapter End Notes
     Apparently 'elskling' means 'darling' in Norwegian. I say apparently,
     because I got this info from Google.
     'Mormor' is apparently reference to a mother's mother in Norwegian.
     I used Farbauti as Loki's mother, as I'm basing this fic off the
     Marvel films, not the myths.
***** Chapter 14 *****
Chapter Notes
     So here I am, with another incredibly delayed chapter :( sorry folks.
     Alas, as much as I would like to, I can't make any promises as how
     often I can update, nor can I promise the next chapter will be up
     quicker. I think I did that last time, and well, I failed! *bad me*.
     I hate to make excuses but my university work comes first (last year
     of double major), well first equal with my horses who I need to tend
     to 2x a day.
     I'm not giving up on this fic, by any means - these guys LIVE in my
     head and one of the reasons I write is to get these stories out so
     they stop repeating! I am always coming up with new ideas and
     situations and I have so much I want to explore with these guys. This
     may just be a very slow 'fic-that-never-ends' :D. So expect more
     updates, just not very regularly :(.
     While I'm at it, THANK YOU everyone for not pestering and not leaving
     comments like 'update plzzzzzz' as there is nothing that kills my
     writing mood quicker than people demanding! So I really appreciate
     it, though I know it's probably tempting! :)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
He didn’t bother to turn his phone on as he walked home. He knew Tasha would
have sent 10 billion texts, each more vicious than the last, and that at some
point she would have threatened and/or blackmailed the others into texting as
well, just to piss him off, and he just didn’t have the energy to wipe half his
inbox before his mother had finished interrogating him.
Her car was in the driveway, just as he knew it would have been, and he didn’t
bother to linger under false pretences because he knew damn well his mother
would have been watching out for him through the dining room window and there
was no escape. With one last heavy sigh, he pulled his boots off and walked
inside.
The air in the kitchen was thick with the smell of roasting chicken – one of
his favourite dishes – but even the promise of really damn good food didn’t
dismiss the fact that his mother was sitting at the table, waiting for him.
“I called you, but your phone was off,” she said, her voice almost too calm. If
Thor hadn’t taken off his boots, he would have been quaking in them.
“I didn’t realise,” he said, sitting down at the table slowly. “I turned it off
because Tasha kept texting me.”
He didn’t miss the smile that graced his mother’s lips for a moment. “That
sounds like Tasha.”
“Yeah. I’m a little afraid to turn it back on again.”
“You’ll have to do it eventually.”
“I know.”
“What happened today?” she asked, launching straight into it, as was usually
her wont. She didn’t like to beat around the bush, which Thor was alternately
thankful for and despaired about, depending on the situation.
He swallowed. “Loki asked me around this morning before to tell me something,”
he said, deciding the truth would be less painful in the long run than
attempting to deceive his mother. It never worked.
“Tell you what?”
 A million different answers flew through his head. It wasn’t so much that he
didn’t want to tell her – he did want to, because she’d find out sooner rather
than later, and he might as well get it over with, especially while his father
wasn’t home – he just didn’t know how. “Ah… well… It’s…” He winced and closed
his eyes, and thought about banging his head against the table top. “Uh…”
“Thor.” He opened his eyes. His mother was smiling at him, her face open and
relaxed, almost comforting. “It’s ok. Start from the beginning.”
“From the beginning?” he repeated, floundering.
“Yes,” she said patiently, and nodded.
“From the beginning. I can do that.” He took a deep breath, and began.
*
By the time he had nearly reached the end, he was nursing a cup of hot
chocolate and a cookie, his mother had ventured from the end of the table to
sit beside him, and the chicken was nearly done.
“So then this morning… he wanted to tell me about Briana,” he said, and thought
about how it seemed now like it had been so long ago, when it had been less
than a day. “He said… he said that Briana wasn’t his sister.”
“She was his daughter,” his mother said, and left him gaping, because how the
hell did she know?
“You knew?” he asked, incredulous. She’d made him go through everything, and
this whole time, she’d known?
“Not before this, no,” she said, and pinched another cookie from the jar in the
middle of the table. “But I had you. I know what it’s like to have children. I
can’t imagine that Loki would have been so vested in the health and wellbeing
of his sister when he was a 16 year old with a 16 year old boy’s interests.”
“Well, I didn’t figure it out,” Thor mumbled, quite grumpily.
“Oh darling. I don’t blame you. You had no reason to doubt what he said. Now,
am I to assume that Loki is the baby’s mother, or the baby’s father?”
Thor paused. He had barely even thought about that. The idea of Loki having sex
with a woman was so foreign – given what he knew – that he hadn’t even
entertained the idea that Loki had possibly been Briana’s father. That, and the
knowledge that Loki took oral contraception, had only led him one way.
“Briana’s mother.”
“Mmm,” his mother murmured through a mouthful of cookie. “Should have guessed
that one too.”
“Why?” Thor pressed.
“Can’t see him doing anything with a woman,” she mused, and Thor decided not to
ask this time if she’d been reading his thoughts again. “So… duas medietates.”
“What?”
“Duas medietates. It’s Latin for ‘two halves’. Way back, a long time ago, when
the ancient Greeks were the height of civilization, they believed that men who
could bear children were the descendants of a man who had defied Dionysus, the
god of wine and fertility. They said that this man had refused to worship
Dionysus, and Dionysus was so angry he split the man and his wife open, and
bound them together as one. He wore the appearance of a man on the outside, but
inside, he was his wife. This myth was taken up by the Romans, as so many were,
and the Latin name for it was duas medietates. Two halves. Not the scientific
name, mind you. That’s very long and difficult to say and I’m not going to
attempt it.”
Thor sat in silence as his mother stole another cookie. “Did they really get
split in half?”
“Oh Thor. What do you think?” she asked, raising a sculptured eyebrow.
“I’m thinking… no.”
“Correct. The ancient Greeks just liked to have origins for everything. They
were impossibly advanced, for what they were, but they lacked the scientific
innovations we have today. They relied on the Gods for their history.”
“So… these people… duas medietates… they have been around forever.”
“Of course. It wasn’t like they suddenly sprouted out the ground one day.
Genetic deformity, perhaps. Some things we’ll just never know.”
“Deformity? That makes it sound like there’s something wrong with them,” Thor
pointed out, feeling a little defensive.
“Well, I guess not. If they were made that way, and we were made the way we
were, then everything is the way it’s supposed to be.”
“My head hurts.”
“Stop thinking, Thor my darling. Let’s eat before I break you some more.”
*
Dinner was a quiet affair, partly because Thor found himself so hungry (despite
the waffles) that he had three platefuls and partly because no-one seemed to
know quite what to say. Their talk wasn’t over, not by a long shot, and Thor
had a sinking feeling that his mother was using the time to gather evidence and
corroborate statements. Or something. He was pretty sure his mother had been a
detective in a previous life. Perhaps the female version of C. Auguste Dupin.
“You don’t need to look so nervous,” his mother commented, and Thor choked on a
piece of potato.
“I know,” he said hurriedly, and inhaled the potato again.
His mom just sighed and passed him a glass of water. “Are you finished yet?”
He gulped the glass down without taking a breath. “Is there any left?” he asked
hopefully. Anything to delay this. Anything at all. “Should I do the dishes?”
“Thor, you haven’t willingly done the dishes since I bribed you with candy
floss when you were 12.”
“That’s not true,” he mumbled into his chicken. He got The Look in return, and
conceded a point. “Ok, maybe that is true then.”
“Thank you. And yes, you are on washing up duty. But they can wait for a
little.”
He considered sulking, but felt that it wasn’t going to be beneficial to his
position at that particular point in time. He settled for pushing his plate
away and sitting back on his chair, looking everywhere but at his mom. She
didn’t say anything for a moment, clearly still putting her thoughts together,
but Thor felt that he had something burning to say before she said anything.
“It doesn’t change anything,” he blurted out. “Just because he has a baby, I
mean. It doesn’t change anything.”
She looked at him sharply. “That doesn’t mean your life isn’t going to be
affected by this.”
“I know.”
“You hardly know him,” she pointed out, but her voice wasn’t accusatory – it
was almost sad, as if she knew better than him what all of this meant. And she
probably did. “You’re still in school. You don’t know anything about children,
least of all babies.”
“I can learn,” he said defensively. He didn’t like people insinuating he
couldn’t do things. Even if he actually couldn’t.
“Learn how to be a father?” she asked abruptly.
Thor’s mouth opened but nothing came out. Having his mother say it like that
made it sound virtually impossible. Perhaps it was. He squeezed his eyes
closed, only to have the image of Loki and Briana flash before him, and the
thought of letting them down made his heart falter. “Yes,” he said stubbornly.
“Anyway, doesn’t everyone have to learn? Didn’t dad have to learn when I was
born?” he pointed out.
“Yes,” his mother conceded. “But he was a lot older than you.”
“So?” he retorted, quite conscious of the fact that he was sounding like he was
3 years old and not giving a damn.
“So?” she repeated, as if she couldn’t believe him. “You are just a child
yourself, Thor. You’re still in school. You should be playing football and
pretending to do your homework, not fussing over babies and pretending to
change diapers.”
“Well sometimes things don’t happen the way we want them to,” he said
stubbornly, his heart beating like a drum in his chest. He’d never spoken this
way to his mother before, never openly defied her like this. It felt foreign
and uncomfortable, like everything he knew and was familiar with was being
rewritten and nothing would ever be the same again. He’d felt like that a lot
lately.
“I don’t want this for you,” she said. “You’re too young.”
“Loki’s too young as well. And he needs someone with him. And not just his
parents,” he said, before she could interrupt, as he knew she was about to do.
“I want this.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying,” she said, a note of sadness in her voice.
“Please, Thor, listen to me.”
“I am listening,” he said, frustration and desperation edging his words. “I
know, mom. I know you want me to be normal and do normal things and be a normal
kid. I know. But please, listen to me,” he pleaded. “I just want to try.”
The look on her face – the sadness, the frustration, the fear - made him feel
almost physically sick. He hated this, hated arguing with his mother – he loved
her so much it hurt to make her feel this way. But he loved Loki too, and he’d
made a promise. For once, he wished that life wasn’t so fucking complicated.
“And what happens if you fail?” she whispered.
Thor closed his eyes. “What do you mean?” he asked stiffly, a million things
flashing through his mind.
She shook her head. “You hardly know Loki. How do you know that in a month you
won’t want to move on? What if something happens to Briana? Are you expected to
help look after her at the expense of your schoolwork, or pay for things for
her? Do you realize that if you dedicate yourself to this 100%, that this isn’t
going to be something you can just turn yourself away from if you don’t feel
like doing it anymore? This is going to be something to dedicate yourself to
for the rest of your life.”
Thor felt something wet on his cheek. He was startled for a moment, until he
realized he was crying, and he hadn’t shown such weakness in front of his
mother for so long it felt foreign. He opened his eyes, feeling a river of
tears leak down his cheek, and refused to look at her. “I know you don’t
believe me. I wish you did. I wish more than anything you did. I know you don’t
think I can do it. But I haven’t felt like this for anything – for anybody –
ever. You always told me that I would regret the things I didn’t do more than
the things I did. Well, this is something I want to try. I need to try. And I
know it sounds stupid,” he finished, hardly able to believe what he was saying.
She sat there for a long time, staring at her hands, and Thor didn’t bother to
wipe the tears from his face. He had a horrible, dense feeling in his chest
that perhaps he had hurt her, badly, and though he wanted to stand his ground,
his normally unceasing loyalty to her made him feel like scum.
“I’m sorry, mom,” he said eventually.
“I know,” she said quietly, and sighed heavily. “I think we’ve reached an
impasse.”
“A what?”
“An impasse… where neither of us can agree.”
Thor bit his lip. He wasn’t leaving the room until he had the freedom to do
what he wanted – stay with Loki. He kept his mouth closed though. There was
such a thing as too much talking back when it came to his mom. He was pretty
sure he was too old to be looked in his room for a week but he wouldn’t put it
past her.
“You’re not going to back down, are you?” she asked, looking so much older than
Thor knew her to be.
“No,” he said, quite aware that he was utterly terrified, because there was no
going back and he knew he had the capacity to completely and totally fuck
everything up.
“You’re serious about this then?” she said after a moment, her eyes no less
sharp.
“Yes.”
“You know what this means.”
“I know what it means.”
She was silent for a while, the kitchen suddenly deathly quiet. Thor felt
afraid to move, as if by doing so he would shatter whatever this was and the
dam would break, and his mother would tell him he was being ridiculous and to
give up this game, because Loki and Briana would tie him down and he’d never be
able to do anything and his life would somehow get sucked into a giant black
hole and he’d grow old and die without stepping outside of his house again…
He had a headache.
He closed his eyes and resisted the urge to bang his head against the table in
a vain attempt to make it go away. It didn’t work anyway. He’d tried before.
But before he could do anything rash, he felt the cool touch of his mother’s
hand on his forehead.
“If this is what you want,” she said, her voice quiet and sure.
He swallowed hard. “This is what I want,” he said, without opening his eyes.
He heard his mother sigh. “I can’t tell you what this is going to mean for you.
For either of you. But I can’t stop you.”
“Do you think I’m being stupid?” he couldn’t help but ask.
He felt her drop her hand. “No,” she said after a moment. “Naïve, perhaps, but
it’s our experiences that shape what we know. We can never know entirely what
something means or entails until we have done it.”
“I want to try,” he repeated.
She laughed suddenly, though it wasn’t as carefree as it usually was. “That’s
my boy,” she said. “I would expect no less from you.”
He looked up at her, almost afraid that what he would see would be different to
what he had heard – reluctance, perhaps, in her eyes, or fear in the lines
around her mouth. But her eyes were open and clear, her mouth still tilted in a
bare hint of a smile. He did something then he hadn’t done for a long time. He
reached over to hug her, his arms reaching around her much further than he
remembered.
She felt much the same as he remembered, if a little smaller, until he realized
that of course he’d grown. It really had been too long. She gave a little gasp,
as if surprised, but hugged him back, her arms as comforting as they had been
when he was just a little boy. There was a soft kiss to his cheek as he pulled
away, just a delicate touch.
“You’re growing far too fast,” his mother said, her voice sad but her eyes
smiling, and once again Thor was reminded of Briana. He felt full suddenly, of
things that he couldn’t describe – a desire, a need to be with Loki again, and
with Briana, just like they had been that afternoon, and a longing for his
childhood and his family, and it was bubbling over and mixing, as if the only
way to relieve the feeling was to have them all at once. Maybe the lines were
blurring, maybe everything was coming together, maybe things were falling
apart. He wasn’t quite sure. He wasn’t sure of anything anymore.
He watched, rather numbly, as his mother cleared the dishes from the table as
if everything was back to normal. She wiped her hands on the dishcloth and
turned around. “So, when are you inviting him around for dinner so I can meet
him properly?”
*
Thor did the dishes, like he promised, and found them as tedious as he
remembered. He left them to dry and ran upstairs, pulling his phone out of his
pocket and tossing it on the bed. He thumped down next to it, torn between
turning it on (to see if Loki had text him) and leaving it off (to avoid
Tasha’s Inquisition). In the end the hope that Loki had sent him something won
out over the fear of being inundated with Tasha’s questions.
He switched it on and left it for a moment, watching as it jingled and vibrated
on the comforter, letting him know just how many people were pissed off with
him (and hopefully one who wasn’t). He groaned and picked it up. There were 16
text messages from Tasha – he flicked straight to the last and was greeted with
a threat to cut his balls off with a rusty knife and fly them off the school’s
flag pole. He deleted the others. Clint had sent him 5 (the last one read
“Fucks sake jst fckng txt hr shes drvng me fckng nuts” – he’d always had such a
way with words), Steve 4 (all along the lines of “Are you alright? Do you need
me to bring you anything? ”) and 7 from Tony, all of which read along the lines
of “Did you get lucky? Are you getting lucky right now? Fucking bastard”. In
amongst the jumble of messages was one from Bruce, asking if Thor wanted to
borrow his science notes. He didn’t take science, but it was a nice thought.
Loki had sent him one about 15 minutes before. He saved it for last, needing
something to look forward to. He dealt with Tasha first.
“Sorry about 2day. Loki & I needed 2 talk. Cant tell u yet but I will I
promise.” He hoped to god that would be enough to shut her up for the rest of
the night. Alas, somehow he doubted it.
He texted Steve back next. “Its allgud, thank u tho :) be back @ school Mon. ”
He didn’t bother with niceties for Tony. “Fuck u. Not telling :P ”
He had no idea what to text Bruce, and figured he had probably forgotten by now
that he’d even texted, and would just end up confused by anything Thor sent
him. With a warm, low tingling in his stomach he opened up Loki’s text message.
“Thanks for today :) I miss you. How did it go with your mom? ”
Thor felt everything chaotic and upset in his head quiet down and stop, felt
the tension in his bones seep away. He settled back down on the bed, everything
comfortable, and started texting. “I miss u 2 :) told mom. Shes ok. Wants u 2
cum 4 dinner :) ”
He didn’t have long to wait for a reply. “I can cum for something else too ;) ”
was Loki’s first text, and Thor was torn between wanting to laugh and wanting
to stain his comforter again. The next one was more sedate. “Sorry that was bad
of me :P I want to meet your mom. She sounds nice. Next week? ”
“Anytime :) but dinner @ urs 1st. Mom said I can go tomoro. Want 2 see u again
:) ”. Thor wasn’t sure when he had turned into a 13 year old girl, but the
transformation had been barely noticeable. Such sentimentality was very
unbecoming. Just as long as it stayed where no-one could see it, he was ok with
it.
“Want to see you too :) you can stay the night if your mom lets you. ”
Oh, Thor wanted to. He wanted to fall asleep with Loki and wake up with him
right there, to do what he wanted with him when he could – kiss him, touch him,
rip his clothes off and do very very naughty things – but a part of him knew
his mother would probably not be pleased. He wondered then too, at how casual
Loki was about asking him to stay overnight – his parents clearly didn’t mind.
Perhaps they figured the worst had already happened.
“I want 2 :). Will ask mom but she’ll prob say no :( ” He hit send and rolled
over, facing the ceiling. It was dark out and everything was quiet, and he felt
a little like falling asleep right then and there, if it weren’t for the phone
clenched tightly in his fist that vibrated again.
“One day ;) will just have to be quicker tomorrow, that’s all ;) ” Oh, Loki was
naughty. Thor stifled a laugh with his hand and rolled onto his front to reply.
“What r u saying? I can make it as long as u want ;) ” he sent back, giving up
on trying to stop laughing.
“I’m going to need scientific evidence of that ;) ” Loki replied.
Thor’s jeans suddenly felt too tight. “I can give u as much evidence as u need
;) repeatedly. ” And wasn’t that true. He sat up and found himself with a hand
down his pants, stroking himself and wondering if Loki was doing the same.
“I think I can handle that ;) ” Loki sent him.
“Yeah? Are u sure? :P ” Thor pressed send with one hand around his cock. He
figured he was thinking with it anyway.
“Very ;) ” Loki sent quickly. He sent another before Thor could even begin to
think about a reply. “Fuck, why arent u here? ”
Thor pressed a laugh into his pillow. He should have guessed that Loki’s need
to send grammatically perfect texts would be corrupted the hotter he got.
“Why, need me 4 something? ” he asked, quite happy to tease the hell out of
Loki for once.
“What do u think!!! ”
“Help w/ homework. ” He wanted to do this. He really did. He wanted to push
Loki to the brink and see what happened. It just so happened his cock didn’t
seem to agree. He chucked his phone down on the bed and moaned as he tightened
his fingers, smears of pre-cum dripping down the shaft. He remembered what had
happened earlier that day – he and Loki, on the couch, desperate, and then not
being able to do it properly afterwards. No wonder they were trying again,
albeit from separate houses.
His phone beeped again. “Fuck u, Odinson! ”
“no, fuck u, babe ;) ” he scrawled back. And fuck, did he ever want to… He
buried his head in his pillow to muffle another moan, burning heat sparking up
his spine. He fisted himself slowly, trying hard to make it last, trying hard
to keep this going and suppress the need to run half-naked to Loki’s and jump
in bed with him.
“I want u to” Loki replied, and Thor bit his lip so hard he was surprised it
didn’t break through.
“so do I” he sent quickly. Then, casting everything aside: “what r u doin
instead?? ” He couldn’t get Loki out of his head. He wanted him there so badly
he could hardly stand it.
“what do u think” Loki sent him back, and Thor groaned with frustration. He
needed more, dammit. Before he could think of anything sufficiently caustic to
send back, his phone beeped again.
With shaking hands he picked up his phone and opened it. There was a row of
text, from Loki – “remember how I told u I needed a towel…. ;) ” and then a
photo, one that made Thor’s stomach clench and his cock twitch in his fist.
Loki had taken a close up, not just of his hard cock but of his hole as well,
wet, stretched around a toy that wasn’t quite as wide as Thor’s cock but not
far off.
“Fuck,” he muttered, just about losing his ability to breathe. “Jesus Christ.”
He was so close to coming he had to force himself to stop.
“Ur drivin me crazy! ” he texted.
“U like then???? ;) ”
“Yes I like!! Fuck. I want u so bad.”
“how do u want me?? ”
Oh sweet Jesus. Thor could barely compose himself to text back. “anywy u wnt.
Hard. Wudnt stop.”
Loki didn’t reply for a few minutes, which let Thor’s imagination explode – he
could just about see Loki fucking himself, spread out before him. He could just
about hear the little sounds that Loki always made right before he came, and
feel the trembling under his skin. He closed his eyes, letting the show play in
his mind’s eye, let himself pretend the hand on his cock was Loki’s. The
muscles in his thighs were trembling, his balls were heavy and tight, his hand
slippery, and his whole body was thrumming, like something outside of himself
was controlling all of this…
His phone vibrated again and almost reluctantly he let his eyes open and his
other hand wander to pick it up. He made himself stop jerking off, hissing as
he let go, and he felt his cock hit his belly. With shaking fingers he unlocked
his phone and pulled it up to his eyes to see.
“Not ever?? Want u inside me, this isnt enough…”
Yes. Yes. Thor could get with that. He groaned out loud just thinking about it,
and clasped a hand out over his mouth in horror when he realized just how loud
he had been. He lay still for a moment, just waiting for his mother to make a
smart-ass comment from the other side of the door, or for the floor boards to
creak as she moved away. But there was nothing – the house seemed silent,
though he knew perfectly well his mother was probably knitting in front of the
TV like she did every night when his father wasn’t home. That was far enough
away to not worry, so he let his hand slip away.
He re-read Loki’s text again and felt his cock practically jump at the
implications. He scrolled back up to the picture again, pissed off that his
phone wasn’t bigger to be able to truly appreciate such a picture. Loki’s
thighs were dripping with a mix of lube, precum and sweat, and he could see why
he did indeed need a towel. Thor suddenly wanted nothing more than to be able
to reach into that picture and thrust that damn toy in and out of Loki. He
suspected Loki was perhaps feeling the same way.
“I wanna fuck u so bad. stretch u even more, make u scream ”. He sent it before
he could chicken out, because he’d never been this open to someone else before,
not through such a medium, not even to their face. There’d been guys before
Loki, but no-one quite like him. Loki made him want to do things he’d never
done with anyone else before, made him want to open himself up to see what was
there, what he could do and what he was capable off. It was fucking terrifying.
He pressed himself into his pillow, ignoring the ache between his legs, fist
clutched tightly around his phone. He wanted to be able to reach out and touch
Loki, to have him turn over and face him and smile, to be there to be kissed,
and stroked, and loved. He missed him so badly his entire body strained with
it. If he closed his eyes he could just about believe that Loki was right
there.
But right now his only tangible connection to him was his phone, and before he
could lapse into melancholy Loki texted back.
“Fuck yes. God I want u. Not much longer…” Thor knew exactly what he meant by
‘not much longer’. He appeared to be having the same problem. He ran his hand
back down his cock and fisted himself slowly, body shaking with the effort of
holding back. For a brief second an image of Loki fucking himself flashed in
his mind and he had to groan into his pillow.
Reluctantly he pulled himself away again. “then do it and then show me ;) want
2 c” he tapped out quickly before throwing himself back into the pillow. He
kept his hands up by his head as he imagined Loki reading the text, and then
letting himself go, making those little noises that Thor loved so much as his
muscles spasmed and his body shook. On second thoughts, he wasn’t sure if he
was going to be able to hold out. He groaned again and didn’t bother to muffle
it with the pillow.
After a couple of agonizing, torturous moments his phone vibrated again. He
scrambled for it and nearly knocked it off the bed before he got a good grip on
it. This time it was just a picture. He opened it up and nearly died. It was
taken from the same angle as before, showing Loki’s legs spread wide open. He
could see Loki’s come splattered on his thighs and the bottom of his shirt, his
entrance stretched and empty and slick.
Two jerks and he came, throwing a hand over his mouth in a poor attempt to hide
his strained groan. It took a few moments for him to recover enough to pick up
his phone again, his hands shaking. It took him even longer to scrawl out a
text message with trembling fingers.
“Ur beautiful. Miss you. U make me crazy.”
Barely a second after he sent it, he tapped out another one. “and u just made
me ruin my shirt :O ;) ”. He pulled it off and bundled it up before throwing it
in the general direction of his laundry basket. Feeling too lazy-limbed to find
another one, he thunked back down on the bed and thought about Loki again. It
was quite pleasant.
“Crazy good or crazy bad??? ;) and what, no pix?? :P ” Loki replied. Thor just
stared at his phone. Loki had sent him pictures, but he hadn’t even thought of
doing it himself. He glanced down. A bit late now. He winced.
“whoops >. ” he sent back.
Loki took a while to reply. Thor guessed he was cleaning himself up and let him
be, nearly falling asleep in the process. He was startled awake by the buzz of
the phone in his hand.
“I like crazy good :) I liked that… can we do it again?? ;) ”
Thor chuckled. He didn’t mind doing that again, at all. “I think we could make
that happen ;) ”
“I’d like that :) and other things ;). Can’t wait to see you again tomorrow.”
“Me 2 :). U sleepy??”
“How can you tell :P. Briana’ll be hungry soon though. Keep me awake?? :) ”
Thor could do that.
*
It was nearly 12am by the time Briana had woken and was crying for a midnight
snack. Loki signed off his text with a kiss and left Thor torn between desire
for a second round, curiosity, a sudden longing to hold Briana again, and
sleep. He settled for lying there, his eyes wide open while his body slowly
shut down.
He’d nearly given in entirely when his phone went off again. Thinking it was
Loki, he opened the text with a smile. Then he realized it was Tasha. Before he
could break himself out of his sudden terrified state, his phone went off
again. And again. And again.
“I still haven’t forgiven you, you know.”
“I shall have my revenge.”
“When you least expect it.”
“Sleep with one eye open.”
He was in deep shit. He groaned and smacked his forehead with a closed fist. He
was pretty sure he was going to die.
“Uhhhh… sorry? :)” was the most eloquent thing he could come up with at that
time of night. He hoped it would be acceptable.
“You are partially forgiven. You owe me a burger for the rest.”
He breathed a sigh of relief. Though he knew Tasha wasn’t really serious about
the whole chopping-off-his-balls-thing, she could hold a grudge in a deadly,
I’m-from-Russia-don’t-mess-with-me-bitch sort of way. Many people had learned
the hard way. Thor was one of them. It was normally something he loved about
her. Until he was on the wrong end of it, that was.
“burger sounds good :) Cant do tomoro but let me know when.”
“I will accept Sunday as an alternative. Pick me up at 12. And no later.”
He resisted the urge to type out “yes ma’am”. He did that once and decided it
wasn’t worth doing twice. Thor settled for a softly-softly approach instead.
“Sounds good :) good nite! ”
He didn’t hear back after that, which was either good or bad. He figured he’d
find out on Sunday.
After a quick visit to the bathroom, he settled back in bed, the thought of
sleep overwhelmingly tempting. It’d been one hell of a day, to put it mildly,
and he still wasn’t sure what to make of it all. He hoped it’d all sort itself
out in his head overnight, ignoring the little voice that told him there was no
way in fuck it’d happen. Wishful thinking and all.
Comfortably satiated, he closed his eyes and waited for sleep to drift him
away. He could sense it, could feel it settling over him, when his long-
suffering phone beeped again and startled him fully awake. For a moment dread
sat in his stomach as he figured it was probably Tasha, trying to scare him
into a nightmare or something. It wasn’t worth it to not answer. He sighed and
picked it up.
It wasn’t Tasha. It was a picture from Loki, something that just suddenly made
everything alright again. It showed Briana snuggled up to Loki’s chest,
sleeping softly, and he had added “sleep well <3 ”. Thor smiled, and figured
sleep was going to be good indeed.
Chapter End Notes
     I made up all that Latin and Greek bull. I took classics at high
     school and university but never Latin, so if it's a terrible (or
     completely wrong) interpretation I do apologise! If anyone has a
     better or more correct suggestion please don't hesitate to comment. I
     used Dionysus as he is a particular favourite of mine, no other
     reason.
     C. Auguste Dupin belongs to Edgar Allen Poe.
***** Chapter 15 *****
Chapter Notes
     Thank you everyone for understanding that I can't post too often! It
     grates me that I can't so thank you for not getting shitty with me
     haha. I have exams coming up so will write when I can (ie when I am
     procrastinating... :O).
     This chapter was supposed to be a lot longer... I decided to post it
     now because I felt the entire thing would run to 12,000+ words if I
     didn't divide it. Plus you get an update earlier! :) So the next
     chapter will be like the second half of this chapter.
Thor slept stupidly well. He awoke to a pounding on his door from his mother,
who insisted, through the wood, that she’d been trying to wake him up for half
an hour and if he didn’t get out of bed, she was going to spend his inheritance
at Laura Ashley and bring him home some very flowery bedsheets. He groaned into
his pillow and fought the desire to lie there for just a little longer. His bed
was very warm and really comfy and if he just shifted a little to the right
everything would be perfect…
He fell out of bed, literally, and landed on three piles of comic books which
held him up remarkably well. The sudden ache in his lower back from a Deadpool
comic sticking into it prompted him to get up at last, still stiff enough from
his sleep that he felt – and probably looked – like Frankenstein’s monster. He
growled for extra effect.
By the time he managed to stumble downstairs, reasonably dressed and with his
long hair tied up so it looked somewhat tidy, his mother was tapping her feet
on the floor impatiently and her eye was twitching rather alarmingly. She
shoved a pop-tart in his mouth to shut him up and ushered him outside and into
the car.
He sat obediently in the front passenger seat and pretended to be awake, rather
than appalled at the time he’d been forced to get up at. He figured he ought to
have been used to it by now, but it was a Saturday for Christ’s sakes. You
weren’t supposed to be out of bed before lunchtime.
It was at least an hour’s drive to the airport, and Thor fell asleep halfway
there with part of his breakfast still in his mouth. After a rather pleasant
dream involving river nymphs, Aphrodite and a half-naked Loki, he re-entered
consciousness to the sound of ABBA.
“Why are we listening to ABBA?” he shouted over the music, which was
suspiciously loud.
His mother reached over to turn it down before she spoke. “I had to drown out
your snoring somehow.”
“I do not snore,” Thor replied, scandalized.
“Ever listened to yourself sleep?” she asked dryly, one eyebrow perched high.
“…No.”
“Exactly. Now wipe your mouth for goodness sakes, we’re almost there.”
He sniffed and rubbed his mouth with his sleeve, leaving a stream of crumbs
along one side. He surreptitiously wiped them off onto the floor and made sure
his t-shirt didn’t have the same problem.
“You’re vacuuming the car this week,” his mother said, having, of course,
noticed.
“You gave me the Pop-Tart!”
“You’re the one who couldn’t eat it properly.”
He couldn’t answer that one.
“And Thor?”
“Yeah?”
She paused for a moment. “Maybe don’t tell your father about Loki just yet.
He’s been away for a while. Give him time to get back into his routine.”
“You mean you don’t think dad will approve,” Thor pointed out, his happy-go-
lucky mood vanishing like smoke.
She sighed. “I think he’ll just need time to get used to it.”
“I’ve had boyfriends before. What’s so different?”
“You know what’s different, Thor. You might not be too worried about it but
your father will be. You know what he’s like.”
“I think the word you used last time was ‘traditional’,” Thor said, practically
spitting out the word.
She chuckled. “Traditional, yes. He loves you, you know. No matter what. And he
tries, you know he does. I’m just not sure greeting him for the first time in 8
weeks with ‘I have a boyfriend and he has a baby’ is the way to go.”
“Well I wasn’t planning on doing it quite like that,” Thor said. “I was
thinking a placard, maybe. Or a t-shirt. He likes t-shirts.”
She looked at him with no little affection. “Sometimes I wonder where you get
your sense of humour from.”
“Well it wasn’t dad,” he shot back, and they both laughed, though Thor’s was
mixed with an intense relief that his mom wasn’t pissed off with him after last
night’s debate. For the first time in a few days he felt at peace, as if
everything was right with the world again. It wasn’t, of course, but it was as
well as it could be. His dad was finally coming home, his mom knew about Loki,
Loki was doing well and he had a baby (apparently he was still getting used to
that one) and he was getting to see them both today. Yup, today was going to be
ok, even if he’d been forced out of bed before 7am.
As they neared the airport, Thor could see planes circling lower and lower over
their car, their white bellies flashing in the sun. He leant his head against
the window and watched them, wondering if his father was up in one of them. His
dad might be a bit staunch every now and again, but he was still his dad, and
he missed him.
“Hey, cheer up.”
Thor glanced over to his mom. “Huh?”
“You look morose.”
“I do?”
“Yeah.” She smiled. “Or just sleepy.”
Thor laughed. “I could use a sleep in.”
“Maybe tomorrow, then.”
Thor saw his opening. “Hey, mom.”
“What?” she asked, already suspicious – apparently he was using his ‘wheedling’
tone again.
“You know how I’m going to Loki’s today and staying for dinner?”
“….yes…”
“Can I stay the night?” he asked, all in a rush, before he could wimp out.
She didn’t say anything for a moment, just gripped the steering wheel a little
tighter. “And would this be in his bed?” she asked, going straight to the
point.
He saw no point in lying. They both well knew that there wouldn’t be much
sleeping going on, and any that did would most certainly be in Loki’s bed.
“Yes.”
“Thank you for telling the truth.” She sighed. “Look, if you two are having
sex, nothing I can say or do is going to stop you. All I can say is please make
sure you use protection, especially considering that Loki could get pregnant.
But, tonight? Thor, this is the first day your father is going to be home in a
while. I think it would be nice if you got to spend at least a little bit of
time with him. Going to Loki’s for the day is already stretching it. Come home
after dinner. You can spend the night another time.”
Thor bit his tongue. He’d been expecting it, and to be honest he was a little
pleased that she’d given in to the idea of them having sex and he could expect
to be able to stay at Loki’s every now and again without having to sneak around
to do it. He would have loved to have stayed with Loki that night, but as long
as he could do it another time, he could cope.
“Ok mom.”
She smiled and patted his knee.
*
By the time they’d got to the airport, located Thor’s father in amongst the
throngs of people, extracted him, bundled him in the car and got everyone home
in one piece it was pushing 11am. Thor was starving, because one pop-tart was
just never enough, and when his stomach growled loudly enough to disturb the
dead his father insisted on taking everyone out for lunch, and then they were
back in the car and hoofing it down to some fancy restaurant his father
particularly liked.
Thor just gritted his teeth and smiled. He liked that his father was back home,
because he had missed him, even if he would forever deny it. He just wished
lunch was over already so he could go to Loki’s. While his parents talked
quietly in the front of the car, he pulled out his phone and texted him
quickly.
“Dad making us go 2 lunch. Be there as soon as I can :) ”
“Are you still attached to that thing?” his father asked, looking at him
through the rearview mirror.
Thor reddened slightly, shrugged, and put it away. “Not that attached, dad.”
“Huh. Could have fooled me. Who are you texting?”
Thor panicked. Just slightly, and internally, of course. “No one.”
“So you were texting yourself?”
“Odin,” his mother said quietly, pressing a hand to his arm. Thor relaxed,
hoping she was going to make him drop it. Then she continued talking. “Thor has
a special friend.”
Oh crap. Thor wanted to roll into a ball and die. “MOM!” It didn’t help
anything. His father sniggered and grinned widely at him through the mirror
again.
“Oh? And what’s his name?”
“Loki,” Thor mumbled. He guessed this was his mother’s way of getting his
father used to everything. It was a little sooner than he thought they’d
planned, but his mother knew his father well enough to know what was
appropriate and when. He had no choice but to run with it.
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear that. Can you say it again, a little louder?” his
father asked, just downright teasing him now.
“Loki, ok! His name is Loki.”
“Do I know this Loki?”
“No. He only started at school just after you left.”
“Oh. Nice boy?” he said this to Thor’s mother, rather than him, as if Loki
needed to have passed some sort of test before he could be eligible for Thor’s
affections.
“I’ve only met him once, but he seems lovely. Thor’s going to invite him over
for dinner this week, aren’t you dear?” she said, leaning over the back of the
seat and giving him a little wink.
He smiled back at her. “Yes.”
“Good, good,” Odin said absent-mindedly, distracted by trying to pull into the
restaurant. “I want to meet him.”
“You will, dad.”
And that was the end of that.
*
Lunch was at least quite good, and Thor got two plates at the insistence of his
father who said he was a growing boy and needed his ‘sustenance’. Thor decided
not to protest the use of ‘boy’ and just asked for another hamburger instead.
He was so full by the time he rolled out that he wasn’t sure if he’d left any
room for dinner.
Loki had texted him back halfway through lunch, telling him to enjoy lunch and
turn up whenever he wanted. He had ended the text with masses of kisses and
hearts, which was unusual for him (while there were kisses and hearts quite
often, there normally wasn’t that many). It made Thor blush madly (which, he
realized in hindsight, was probably exactly what Loki had hoped for) and his
parents tease him until dessert arrived.
All in all, he was quite pleased to be able to get out of there.
He was even more pleased when his parents dropped him straight off at Loki’s
house, thankfully not insisting on going inside and meeting Loki’s parents and
embarrassing him anymore.
Loki must have been waiting for him because he had the door open before he’d
even made it to the porch. Seeing him again, even though they’d hardly been
apart that long, made Thor’s insides heat up and squirm pleasantly. It felt
strangely comforting.
“Hey,” he said breathlessly, picking up Loki and giving him a tight hug.
Loki laughed and squealed and went along with it, returning the hug and kissing
him with fervor. It wasn’t until Thor put him down that Loki whispered in his
ear, “your parents are watching.”
Thor gasped and would have dropped Loki if he hadn’t already put him back on
steady ground, and spun around to see… nothing. Loki howled with laughter
behind him and had to lean on the door jamb to steady himself.
“Loki!”
“What!” Loki gasped out between giggles. “Your face!”
“You are so dead.”
Loki just kept laughing. Thor screwed up his face at him, which only made him
laugh harder, and then Thor had to give in.
He chuckled at him and then at Loki, who was practically dying, and wrapped his
arms around him again. “I will get my revenge for that.”
“Yeah?” Loki asked breathlessly. “Going to apple-pie my bed?”
“I’ll do something to your bed but it won’t be something that’ll stop you
getting in it.”
Loki leaned closer to him and whispered, “As long as it involves you, me and no
clothes I’m in.”
Thor smiled and was about to say something rather dirty when a voice
interrupted them.
“Is my son going to let you in or are you two going to stand there for the rest
of the day?”
Loki broke apart from him rather quickly, his face flushed and red, but his
mother just laughed at him and gave him a quick hug before encouraging Thor to
come in and close the door.
“How are you, Thor?”
“I’m good, Mrs… uh, Farbauti.”
She smiled, and Thor was struck by how pretty she was. Loki took after her, the
two of them sharing the same delicate features. He remembered her looking tired
and worn out the first time he’d came here, but now she seemed revived, as if
she’d had a holiday. He made a mental note to ask Loki.
“Want a drink, Thor?” Loki asked, practically hanging off the fridge door.
“Uh, yeah. Whatever you have.”
“We have half the grocery store. Come look.”
Farbauti gave Thor another smile before leaving them to it and moving back into
the living room, where Thor could hear the television going.
“I love my mom but if I hadn’t rescued you she’d be interrogating you right
now,” Loki said, giving Thor a quick kiss on the cheek.
“Are you sure she isn’t related to my mother?”
Loki giggled. “Did you get the Inquisition last night?”
Thor made a face. “Yes.”
“But you survived.”
“Not without some injury. But I think I’ll live,” Thor said bravely, deciding
not to tell Loki his mother’s reservations. He didn’t need to know.
“Awww, that’s my brave soldier,” Loki pandered, pulling Thor in for a deeper
kiss. They were enjoying it thoroughly when the fridge beeped at them, angry
that the door was still open.
“Ugh. Fridges. I think this one is sentient,” Loki said, kicking the door shut
before opening it again. “Coke?”
“Yes please.”
Loki passed him a can and Thor popped it open before draining half of it. He
hadn’t realized how thirsty he was. “Christ. Deprived, are you?” Loki said,
watching him drink. He pulled out another can from the fridge. “You’d better
have another one.”
Thor opened his mouth to say something but managed to burp instead. “Whoops.”
“Charming,” Loki said dryly, arching an eyebrow. “Come on, let’s go to my room
before my grandmother waylays you. I think she likes you.”
“Really?” Thor asked, letting himself be dragged along by a hand.
“Yeah. Apparently you’re the first boy I’ve ever brought home that she actually
likes.”
Thor smiled, quite pleased with himself. “Cool!”
“Isn’t it just. I think I might agree with her assessment of you too.”
“Do I have a report card?”
“Knowing my mother and my grandmother, quite possibly. My dad, on the other
hand, probably has cameras set up at your house and people following you to
make sure you’re legit.”
Thor wasn’t quite sure whether to smile or not. “You aren’t serious, right?”
Loki stopped outside his door. “Who says I’m not?” he asked, with a very
straight face, before disappearing inside.
Thor stood there for a moment, before Loki reappeared and pulled him back in
before closing the door. “Don’t be silly, of course I’m not serious.”
“I’m not sure I believe you.”
“If I was you, I wouldn’t believe me either.”
Thor laughed and pulled Loki in for a hug. Loki sighed and leaned into him,
letting him take his weight. They stood there for what seemed like a long time,
just remembering how their bodies felt against each other.
“Where’s Briana?” Thor asked into Loki’s neck, missing her.
Loki pointed to a baby monitor on his bedside table. “Sleeping. You wanna see
her?”
“Yeah.”
Loki took his hand and pressed a single finger against his lips, asking him to
stay quiet. He pushed open the door that Thor had assumed led to an en-suite
bathroom. It was a nursery, painted a bright shade of yellow. The blinds were
low, dimming the light, but Thor could see a changing table, shelves, a wooden
rocking chair and in the middle of the room, a wooden cot.
Briana was sleeping quietly, her hands clenched into fists. Loki bent over to
kiss her forehead softly, but Thor was so worried he’d wake her he just stood
to the side and watched her. What his mother had pointed out yesterday was true
– he had no idea what he was doing. And it was terrifying. It was all well and
good just watching, but if he wanted to do this properly he needed to try,
which was, in a way, even more terrifying. If he hurt her because he wasn’t
doing something properly, he’d never forgive himself. And he didn’t think Loki
would either.
Loki saw him watching and smiled. “It’s ok. Come here.”
Thor ventured forward slowly, still unsure, but all Loki wanted him to do was
stand next to him.
“I don’t want to hurt her,” he confessed eventually, hoping his voice wasn’t
shaking as much as he reckoned it was.
Loki didn’t say anything, just smiled at him again and leaned his head on his
shoulder. They stood there for a moment, just looking.
“Don’t worry about being scared,” Loki whispered suddenly. “When she was born,
I was so nervous I got mom to do everything at first. Then she told me that she
was my daughter, I had to learn or I would never be able to do it. She showed
me everything. It’s like learning to drive a car. You don’t just hop in and
drive. Someone has to show you how.”
“Can you show me?” Thor asked, incredibly grateful that Loki understood that he
had no idea what he was doing.
“Of course,” Loki replied, and smiled up at him again. “And it’s not like I’m
going to thrust her at you and tell you to look after her for a weekend.”
Thor’s face must have blanched, because Loki collapsed in quiet giggles next to
him. Thor smiled ruefully and lifted Loki up into he was pressed into his
chest, his arms wrapped around Loki’s waist. He kissed Loki’s hair until he
stopped giggling, and for a while all they did was stand there, both looking
down at Briana while she slept, Loki tight against Thor’s chest.
It was entirely pleasant.
Thor nuzzled into Loki’s neck, kissing his skin gently. “She’s beautiful. I
think she takes after you.”
Loki suddenly turned shy and buried his head in Thor’s shoulder, refusing to
come out even when Thor tried to coax him. He let him be after a moment,
smiling at his adorableness. Come hell or high water, he was going to fix
whatever was wrong with his ability to accept compliments. Quite possibly by
showering him with them until he was buried in them.
“Come on, babe. Let’s go back to your room before we wake her up,” he
whispered, and at this, Loki finally reacted. Thor got a quick glance at his
red face before Loki had grabbed his hand and was leading him back to his room.
He followed politely, biting his lip in an effort not to smile.
Thor shut the door behind them quietly, taking one last look at Briana, who was
still fast asleep.
“She’s starting to sit up now, you know,” Loki said, from somewhere on the
floor where he was rummaging around in a box. “And she’s trying to talk. Just
random stuff really, syllables.”
“Yeah? Like what?” Thor said, as he climbed onto the bed.
“Ma, mostly. I think my grandmother taught her that one. I inadvertently taught
her ca. I was trying for ba, but never mind. Close enough. Do you want to watch
a movie?” he asked, flinging up an arm with a DVD of Interview With the Vampire
attached to the end.
“Uh, sure.” Any excuse to cuddle. Thor was up for that.
Loki stood up and fiddled with the TV that sat on a shelf opposite the bed
until he had the movie playing. He flicked the light switch off and pulled the
curtains closed before sliding on the bed next to Thor.
Thor wrapped his arm around him until Loki was lying against his side, head on
his shoulder. “So, are you trying to teach her to say ‘mama’?” he teased,
squeezing his arm around Loki.
“Hmmphpff,” Loki said, as he buried himself deeper into Thor’s shoulder. After
another nudge he resurfaced, poking out his tongue. “I think my grandmother
is.”
“You should be.”
“Yeah, well…”
“Well what? You’re her mom. You don’t want her calling your grandmother mama,
do you?”
That made Loki smile. “No, I guess not.”
“Good. So we’ll have to teach her ourselves.”
“Ok,” Loki said, and buried himself into Thor again.
“I wasn’t finished!” Thor said, laughing.
“Whhhhaaaaattttt??” Loki wailed.
Thor took a deep breath before he spoke. “That time she was in hospital… did
they find out whether or not she had asthma in the end?”
Loki brought his head up slowly and just started at Thor for a moment. “Yeah.
Yeah she does. Well, they called it reactive airways disease, something about
not being able to diagnose it as asthma until she’s 2. It’s complicated. But
she has medicine, and it seems to be getting better. She doesn’t wake up so
much in the middle of the night now.”
“That’s good. Well not good that she has asthma, or reactive airways disease or
whatever it is. Good that she’s getting better.”
“Yeah. I was so worried.”
“You’re allowed to be,” Thor said, and kissed the top of his head.
Loki went all shy on him again and buried his head against his chest, not
coming out until Thor reminded him that he was missing the movie. “It’s
Christian Slater!”
Loki popped his head up then. “I prefer Brad Pitt.”
“As Louis or in general?”
Loki thought for a moment, tilting his head to the side until his hair fell
over his eyes. Thor brushed his hair away with a finger, watching Loki’s eyes
widen until he whispered dramatically, “I’m going to give you the choice I
never had” right along with the movie.
“That’s not the answer I was expecting.”
“And then I said farewell to sunlight, and set out to become, what I became…”
“You’ve watched this movie far too many times.”
Loki grinned. “Well, to answer your question… both, I think. Brad Pitt was hot
in Troy, despite all the inaccuracies. And he is hideously beautiful with that
long hair in this movie.”
“How can someone be hideous and beautiful at the same time?”
“Don’t question me. Anyway, no matter how many times I watch this movie, I keep
expecting Louis and Lestat to go at it like rabbits. Or Louis and Armand. Louis
gets around.”
“So this movie is basically a seething mass of testosterone, long hair, good-
looking men and rampant homosexual undertones.”
Loki looked pleasantly surprised. “So you have seen this before then!”
“Perhaps.”
“Perhaps? I’m choosing to take that as ‘yes, Loki, I have watched this before.
Mostly with my pants down.’ Is that right?”
Thor laughed so hard he had to muffle himself in a pillow so as to not wake
Briana. Loki thumped him between his shoulder-blades to make sure he was
alright, and Thor eventually spluttered to a stop.
“Are you alright?” Loki asked, somewhat alarmed.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.” He wiped at his eyes. “Yes, I have watched this movie
before. No, I have not jerked off to it. I imagine you have, though. By the
sounds of it.”
Loki screwed up his face. “Now why would you think that?”
“Gee, I’m not sure…”
He got a face full of pillow again. By the time he had recovered Loki had
tucked himself under the blankets and was settling in. Thor decided not to
protest and promptly joined him.
“I like your bed,” he mused, stretching to find the best spot.
“Me too,” Loki agreed, and rolled over to face him. “It came with the house.
Apparently it was so difficult to get in this room they asked if they could
leave it.”
Thor laughed. “That’s awesome.”
“Pretty much. Don’t think mom and dad would have sprung for such a big bed
otherwise.”
“Well, it all worked out ok in the end then, didn’t it?” Thor said, grinning at
him.
“Why, so I could fit your fat ass in here? I guess so!”
It was Thor’s turn to smother Loki with a pillow.
“That’s so not fair!”
“What? You can do it to me but I can’t do it to you?”
“Pretty much.” Loki snatched the pillow off him and stuck it under his head,
making sure Thor couldn’t use it as a lethal weapon any more.
“That’s ok. I can find other things to torture you with.”
“Like what?”
“… I dunno. Let me think about it.”
Loki just smirked. Thor had learned to not trust that look. He decided that the
only thing he could do was relax and watch the movie, and enjoy just having
Loki curled into him. The movie was good, but the bed was warm and comfortable,
and he hadn’t really had much sleep…
“Wake up,” Loki huffed, and poked him with an elbow.
“I’m awake.”
“You were starting to snore.”
“I don’t snore.”
“Sure you don’t.” Loki pulled the blanket up and wrapped it closely around
them. “What do I have to do to keep you awake?”
“Whatever you like,” Thor said teasingly.
“Challenge accepted,” Loki said, and Thor wasn’t sure what to make of the
sudden gleam in his green eyes. He hoped he wasn’t going to live to regret
this. But Loki didn’t do anything, just sighed and curled in closer, his head
on Thor’s shoulder.
Thor wasn’t sure how he was supposed to be staying awake.
*
He was dimly aware, first, of the movie; Claudia, throwing a tantrum, cutting
her hair off. But that wasn’t what woke him. Loki was massaging him through his
jeans, his hands measured and knowing, and he groaned as he realized. Pleasure
was filling his veins, albeit sluggishly, as his brain figured out what was
going on.
“What are you doing?” he asked sleepily, his voice heavy and rough.
“Waking you up,” came Loki’s matter-of-fact answer, and he didn’t even bother
turning from the screen. “You fell asleep.”
“And this is how you wake me up?”
This time, Loki did turn around, and he had a wicked smile lighting up his
face. “You’d rather something else?”
“No,” Thor said quickly. “This’ll do.”
Loki’s smile grew. “Thought so.” Then Loki’s tiny hands were undoing the button
on his jeans and pulling down the zip, and sliding under the canvas to slide
over his underwear, pressing down on his cock.
Thor groaned again and let his head fall back onto the pillow. He closed his
eyes as Loki squeezed his cock, light fingers dancing down over his balls and
then back up again. He was ridiculously hard surprisingly quickly. Next to him,
Loki kept watching the movie.
“I wonder how long it took them to do that makeup,” he mused quietly, attention
seemingly focused more on the movie than on his hand down Thor’s pants.
“Guh,” Thor said in reply.
Loki patted his leg. “Want me to stop? You look awake.”
“Don’t you fucking dare.”
“Ok then.”
Then Loki’s hand slipped down into his briefs, nothing separating them now. He
grasped Thor’s cock and began to fist him slowly, twisting his hand at the head
to cover his palm in precum to ease the slide. Thor’s hand found his way down
to Loki’s leg, where it was sprawled under him as he perched over Thor’s waist.
He clasped his calf through his jeans, rubbing with the same motion Loki was
using on him.
Loki shivered beneath his hand and turned his body to face him, forgetting
about the movie, at least for the moment. Thor sighed and smiled at him, not at
all displeased with this turn of events. Loki smiled back and shifted, until he
was able to grasp Thor’s jeans and pull them down, slapping Thor on the stomach
until he lifted his hips to help.
Cool air shifted against his hot skin, not entirely unpleasantly, and then
Loki’s hands wrapped around him again and Thor grunted into the skin of his
fist.
“Quiet,” Loki said, and slapped him again.
Thor swallowed and nodded shakily. He thought about saying something but then
Loki bent to lick the head of his cock and every last logical thought he had
just upped and left. All he could do was flounder for the sheets and grip them
with taut fists as Loki graduated from licking to swallowing, making him
shudder and choke something unintelligible.
Loki tortured him slowly, teasing him with his lips and his tongue and
occasionally the dull rasp of teeth, which Thor had never thought he could
possibly like but Loki just made it work. Then there was a small hand massaging
his balls and if Loki thought he was going to hold out for longer than half a
millisecond he was sorely mistaken.
“Loki…!” he gasped, one hand rising to grasp Loki’s hair. He could feel it, it
was rising in his stomach and rolling down his spine and everything was
starting to explode… and Loki pulled off with one last lick, staring down at
Thor who was rolling around in a sudden fit of unresolved sexual pleasure and
sheer frustration.
“Are you all right?” Loki asked, looking rather concerned.
“Loki!”
“I’m right here Thor, no need to shout.”
Thor blinked open an eye. Loki was keeping a straight face but he could see it
was starting to break, because Loki’s lips didn’t normally wobble like that and
there was a mischievous glint in his eyes… “I hate you.”
“Uh huh. You’ll recover.” Loki patted his thigh reassuringly.
Thor was going to die, no doubt about it. He clutched his hands to his head and
moaned into his palms, resisting the urge to finish himself off and then refuse
to touch Loki. It was a good urge.
“If you’ll stop acting like a toddler having a tantrum, you can get the condoms
out of the bottom drawer.”
Thor hadn’t moved so fast in his life. He threw himself over the edge of the
bed and yanked the bottom drawer of the bedside table open. Right beside the
black dildo that Thor had seen Loki use yesterday was an open box of condoms
and a bottle of lube, and he grabbed both.
“At some point you are going to have to show me how you use that,” Thor said.
“Use what?” Loki asked, crawling off the bed to pull off his jeans and
underwear.
“Your… special toy,” Thor said delicately, quite aware of his insistent
arousal.
Loki smirked. “That’s not the only one I have.”
Thor just groaned. Loki straddled his hips, facing him, and grabbed the lube
from Thor’s hand. “That’s yours,” he said, nodding towards the condom.
Thor was confused for half a minute, until he saw Loki’s lubed coated fingers
disappear between his legs.
“Oh,” Thor said, very quietly.
He watched for a moment as Loki fingered himself, completely forgetting about
the still-wrapped condom in his hand. The movement of Loki’s hand was
mesmerizing – while he couldn’t see his fingers, he could see his knuckles
moving, and just being able to know what Loki was doing to himself made him
feel as though he was perched on the edge of the Niagara Falls without a
harness.
Thor whimpered.
Loki gasped and rocked forward, the muscles in his legs straining as he fought
from landing on Thor. “Fucking… condom… Thor you idiot,” he panted, eyes
furious.
“Oh. Yes.” Thor’s hands were trembling as he ripped the packet open, and he
fumbled before pressing the condom down on his cock. Loki sat back, hands now
gripping either side of Thor’s hips, and watched, his entire body shaking.
Thor rolled it on eventually and grasped for the lube, coating himself
thoroughly. Loki didn’t wait to ask before pushing himself up on his knees and
shifting himself forward. Thor just watched and clutched Loki’s trembling
thighs as Loki lowered himself, hissing as Thor breached him.
“Just wait,” Thor gasped, worried he’d hurt him, but Loki just glared and sunk
further, one fist tangled in the bedcover. The other hand gripped Thor’s, who
felt his fingernails dig into his palm.
Then Loki was panting and fucking himself on Thor, their bodies hot and sweaty
and burning against each other. All Thor could do was hold on as Loki rode him,
everything frantic and messy and possibly noisy, but Loki felt so good around
him it was all he could do just to hold on and swallow his moans.
Everything around them faded until it was just them, rocking against each other
desperately. Thor could feel sweat dripping between them and Loki’s cock hard
up against his stomach, leaving messy trails on his skin with every thrust, and
everything was rather filthy and dirty but oh oh sooo good, and he wasn’t going
to ask Loki to stop just to get a towel…
All of a sudden Loki was shuddering and gasping in his ear, and Thor could feel
his muscles spasm around him as he came, cock spewing over his stomach. He
groaned and gripped Loki’s hips, pulling him down, teeth biting into his lip as
he let Loki ride it out on top of him.
“Mmmmmmm….” Loki moaned, practically collapsing into Thor’s arms. “That was
good,” he murmured.
“Yeah?” Thor gasped, painfully aware that his cock wasn’t pleased at the sudden
change in circumstances.
Loki sat up and bit his lip, his eyes lidded with a heady combination of
satiated lust, tiredness and full on desire. “Ooops,” he said, not sounding
sorry at all.
Thor smacked his arse.
“Going, going,” Loki grumbled good-naturedly, and slid up and off Thor. He
knelt beside him and pulled off the condom, wrapping it in a tissue and tossing
it in the bin. Thor wasn’t in a state to notice any of that. He did notice,
however, when Loki wrapped his lips around him again and didn’t bother with the
niceties.
Thor pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes as he whined shamelessly,
hips thrusting and rolling minutely despite the firm presence of Loki’s hands
on his hips. He bucked as Loki swallowed around him, fighting the hands that
held him down, but Loki only pressed harder.
He risked a glance downwards to see Loki looking up at him under the dark fall
of his hair, eyes wide and deep green, mouth stretched around him.
Thor gave in.
He howled into his fist as he came, body tense and hard as he shuddered. He
ended up partially on his side, Loki still crouched down by his hips, lazily
stroking his cock.
“Hmmm… too much,” Thor muttered, grasping Loki’s wrist.
“Ok.”
Thor didn’t let go. He pulled Loki up next to him, every nerve in his body so
satiated all he wanted to do was fall asleep. He tried tugging Loki down beside
him, but Loki pushed his hand away.
“I’m not letting that dry,” he heard Loki say, before something wet was
dragging over the planes of his stomach.
“Oh.”
“Yeah. At least put on some pants, will you? If my parents come in, they don’t
want to see that much of you.”
Thor groaned into the pillow. When he found the energy to move he saw Loki was
pulling on a pair of black trackpants, not bothering with underwear. Before he
could reach over the side of the bed to find his jeans Loki leaned over to kiss
his forehead.
“I’m going to check on Briana, ok? Be back in a second.”
Thor just nodded, and heard Loki leave the room quietly. With considerable
effort he found his jeans and settled for pulling on his boxers, not really
wanting to sleep in jeans. He was nearly asleep when Loki slipped back in the
bed beside him.
“She ok?” he murmured.
“Yeah, she’s fine, but she’ll be up soon,” Loki whispered, snuggling in next to
him.
“That’s… good…” Thor might have said in his desperately sleepy state.
Loki just smiled and closed his eyes.
***** Chapter 16 *****
Chapter Notes
     My exams are over YAY! Sorry for the lack of updates recently. I
     don't start back again until the 22nd so I am really hoping to start
     posting more often - I'm dying to get into this! I have so many ideas
     it's been so frustrating not being able to write! :O
     On another note, I will be playing around with the tags on this...
     the fic I ended to write is not the same as the fic that has actually
     been written... whoops. So there are a few tags that do not fit, and
     I'll be removing them, and possibly adding some more. I *think* I
     have a reasonably clear picture of where I want to head (but I also
     said that when I started writing this, and look where I ended up :O).
     I'm sorry if I disappoint anyone by deleting and changing the tags,
     definitely not my intention :)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Thor woke a little while later to an empty bed. He floundered for a moment, not
entirely sure where he was or what in the hell was happening, until his brain
switched on and thumped him awake properly. He flung out an arm under the
sheets and felt the bed warm next to him, so Loki hadn’t been gone for too
long.
“Loki?” he asked cautiously, starting to rise up from his resting spot.
“Here,” came Loki’s reply, soft and quiet, from inside the nursery. He walked
into the bedroom a moment later, Briana tucked on his hip and his arms firmly
around her. She was awake, looking far more cheerful than Thor supposed he did.
“Oh, hey, she’s awake.”
“And so are you, apparently, Mr Sleepyhead,” Loki teased. He sat down on the
bed next to Thor, who tugged himself fully upright.
Briana stared at Thor with her big eyes, clinging tighter to her mother as Thor
leaned closer to stroke her back.
“I’m not convinced she likes me,” he said morosely, as her face dissolved into
tears and she pulled herself into Loki’s shoulder.
Loki gave him a sympathetic grin as he tried to soothe her. “It’s ok. It’ll
take a while. She’s just not used to you yet.”
Thor pouted and moved back into the pillows as Loki hushed Briana. He found
himself sitting on the remote and turned the television off, given that it
seemed to be permanently stuck on the closing credits of the movie.
“I don’t think Briana needs to be watching Interview with the Vampire just
yet,” Thor deadpanned, putting the remote on the bedside table. “It’s much too
long.”
Loki laughed. “She’s scared of the Teletubbies. What do you think she’d do if I
let her watch vampires?”
“Loki, I’m scared of the Teletubbies. What were you thinking, making her watch
that? You’ll give her nightmares!” Thor said, only half joking.
Loki poked out his tongue and nuzzled into Briana’s hair before kissing her
forehead. “We only watched it once.”
“And what, she screamed the house down?”
“Not quite. She did start crying though. She’s found of Antiques Roadshow
though, my grandmother loves watching that.”
“Antiques… Jesus Christ.”
Loki screwed his face up in mock offence. “Please don’t swear in front of my
daughter!”
“Does she even know her own name?” Thor asked dryly.
Loki pursed his lips. “She’s getting there,” he said, and lifted Briana into
his arms properly.
Thor watched from beside him, if anything a tiny bit jealous of how much Loki
clearly loved Briana, and how much she seemed to adore him. Then he mentally
smacked himself, because the love that Loki had for Briana was quite clearly
not the same love that he and Loki for each other, and to be jealous of a baby
was a little disturbing. He shook his head.
“You ok?” Loki asked, and Thor realized he probably looked a little silly.
“Yeah, I’m good,” he said with a rueful smile, not really willing to let Loki
know how screwed up his thoughts were every now and again.
Loki settled back into the pillows, Briana across his chest. He carefully held
her with his left arm and reached out his right arm to Thor. “Come here,” he
said, beckoning.
Thor looked at him, confused. “What do you mean?”
Loki smirked. “Just come here. I want her to get used to you.”
Shrugging, Thor crawled closer and pressed into Loki’s side. Loki snuggled into
him and rested his head against his shoulder, squirming until Thor had his left
arm around him, holding him.
“Comfy?” Thor asked, looking down at Loki, who smiled back up at him.
“Yes. Thank you.”
Briana stared up at Thor again, her lips wobbling a little, and Thor cringed as
he thought she was going to cry again.
“Kiss me,” Loki said suddenly.
“What?” Thor asked, a little taken-aback.
“Kiss me. I don’t know if it’ll work, but I want her to know that I like you,
even if she doesn’t at the moment.”
“Charming,” Thor said, but bent down to kiss Loki anyway. He kissed him softly,
finding that he forgot about Briana quickly, not that he had intended to. Loki
pressed against him, lips seeking him out, and Thor bit gently on his lower
lip, making him giggle.
Between giggles Thor kept kissing him, little touches, and played with the ends
of his hair, curling it between his fingers. Loki preened underneath him,
indulging in what Thor had to offer, and kissed him back with fervor.
Thor pressed his forehead against Loki’s and kissed his nose, and startled when
something grabbed his hair.
“Briana!” Loki said, startled, and burst into giggles.
“Loki, I’d appreciate it if you called your daughter off!” Thor insisted, head
bent at an awkward angle as Briana curled her little fist around strands of his
blonde hair.
“Oh darling…” Loki cooed as he encouraged her to release Thor’s hair. “Let him
go, sweetheart.”
She giggled, her mouth wide in a bright smile, and Thor had to concede it was
cute, despite the pain. He wasn’t sure what to think when, after Loki had
gotten her to let go, she immediately smushed her hand into his face.
“Ohhhh… I give up,” Thor moaned around her little hand.
“You know, I think she’s warming to you,” Loki said, encouragingly.
“I’m not sure about that one,” Thor said after Loki had managed to detach
Briana. “Where did you find that trick? Supernanny?”
“I made it up,” Loki said, somewhat sheepishly.
“I would never have guessed, darling.” It made Thor laugh though, to see Briana
still staring at him with an awfully distrustful look while Loki fussed over
her with all the love of a mother. “I’m not that bad, really,” he said quietly
to Briana, bending over to look at her closely. Her big green eyes just stared
back, now more full of curiosity than distrust, and Thor risked a finger by
running it gently down her chubby cheek. She shied away at first, not sure, but
Loki held her tight and reassured her and then she was letting him stroke her,
still softly, still gently.
Thor felt full of something he couldn’t describe. His chest felt tight, not
uncomfortably, but as though something was bubbling up inside him and it needed
to come out. It wasn’t something that he could remember feeling before, and he
didn’t know what it was. It was foreign, but not altogether unwelcome.
“Hey,” he whispered, worried that his voice would crack, and Briana looked at
him, clinging tightly to Loki. “It’s ok. I’m not going to hurt you.”
She couldn’t understand what he was saying, but he hoped that his voice –
despite the wavering – would reassure her a little. She looked a little more
comfortable around him now, but he knew it would take a while for him to earn
her trust. For now he settled for making sure she was alright with him touching
her, and then let her be, so she wouldn’t think he was going to fawn over her
forever.
“She’ll get there,” Loki said, and smiled, so proud of her that it made Thor
smile himself.
“Yeah, she will. I suppose she doesn’t remember me from yesterday.”
“I think she was more interested in sleeping than you yesterday.”
“I don’t blame her.”
Briana wriggled in Loki’s arms, eager to move, and Loki settled her between his
legs. She lay on her stomach and flopped her arms around, as if she was trying
to crawl but hadn’t quite figured out that she was supposed to use her legs at
the same time. Thor and Loki shared a quiet chuckle and she turned a beaming
smile on them, loving the attention. For a while she tried to move around,
before attempting to roll over and just making it to her side. Thor found her
almost addicting to watch, as if he could watch her forever, and when he turned
to Loki and saw the adoration shining in his eyes he realized that he barely
knew the half of it.
She played around on the bed for a while, squealing and babbling, her little
hands trying to grasp the bedcovers, or occasionally, their clothes. Loki
grabbed some toys for her from the nursery and the 30 seconds that Thor was
alone with her were almost terrifying. She was in the middle of the bed, and he
was one foot away from her, but the thought that she might hurt herself was
almost incomprehensible. Thor tried not to make his sigh of relief too obvious
when Loki came back into the room.
It was clear she knew who her mother was. As soon as she saw Loki again she
stopped and squealed with happiness, her face lighting up. Loki mimicked her
squeal and pretended to swoop down on her, making her laugh even harder. He
picked her up and swung her around carefully like an airplane as she held her
arms up and to the side, little feet kicking out behind her. Thor couldn’t help
but laugh along with her.
Loki collapsed back onto the bed alongside him, Briana bundled in his arms.
This time she grinned up at Thor, clearly having forgiven him for whatever he’d
done, or perhaps she was too happy to hold onto that grudge. Either way, he
wasn’t going to argue. He reached out a finger and she was onto it in a second,
holding it surprisingly tightly.
“Wow. Am I going to get this back?” he asked Loki with a smile. “She’s strong.”
“Yeah,” Loki said proudly. “If she wants something she won’t let it go. Mom
says I was the same when I was a baby too.”
“Taking after you, then.”
“I hope so.”
There was an unspoken thought there, about James, and Thor let it go. Talking
about that would just ruin the moment. He grabbed one of the toys instead, some
sort of floppy animal with plastic rings on the side, and held it out to
Briana. She reached out and pawed at it, unable to get a grip, until Loki
fastened her hand around it. She yanked it from Thor and put half of it in her
mouth.
“I’m going to assume that’s ok for her to suck on,” Thor said, watching as she
started to drool around the toy in her mouth.
“Yeah. I think she’s figuring out the world by sticking everything into her
mouth at the moment. Everything’s fair game. Just gotta keep the small stuff
away from her. Eh, sweetie?” he said fondly, bending down to cuddle her.
She giggled and took the toy out of her mouth, flinging it up and down in one
hand as Loki kissed her. Thor wished he had a camera.
They watched her play for a little longer, until she seemed to lose interest in
the toys and turned her focus to Loki. She pawed at his lap until he lifted her
into it, and she pressed her head into his belly.
“She tired?” Thor asked, not sure how she could be so soon after her nap, even
with playing.
“Maybe,” Loki said. “She might be hungry.” He bent down to wrap his arms around
her. “You hungry baby?” he asked quietly. Thor just about died inside when she
turned her head to his and nuzzled into him. He suddenly understood his
mother’s infatuation with babies.
“What do you feed her?” Thor asked awkwardly, his ignorance uncomfortable, to
him at least. What in the hell did you feed babies anyway?
Loki looked up at him and gave him a reassuring smile. “I breastfeed, mainly.
When I’m at school she gets formula or expressed milk.”
Thor wasn’t sure if he wanted to know what expressed milk was.
“Oh. Does she, um, get… normal food?” Thor asked, his voice practically
squeaking.
Thankfully, Loki seemed too preoccupied with Briana to notice. “Sometimes. Not
much. Really mushed up stuff, if anything. She’s picky.”
Briana started to grizzle then, her little face screwed up in unhappiness. Thor
understood completely when Loki lifted her into his arms and cuddled her. He
had a funny feeling he’d want to do the same thing. This was most odd.
“She’s hungry, I need to feed her,” Loki said, starting to get up.
“Where are you going?” Thor asked, confused.
“I’ll feed her in the nursery.”
“Do you always?” Thor wondered if he had to go get this expressed milk,
whatever it was.
“No, I just feed her wherever.”
“Then why don’t you do it here?” Thor asked. The bed was as good a place as
any, surely. And he liked to see Loki interacting with Briana. It was dead
cute, he supposed.
“I have to breastfeed her, Thor,” Loki said, an edge to his voice.
“And you can’t do that in here?” Thor was quite aware he was being persistent.
Loki stood by the bed, rocking back and forth as Briana grizzled in his arms.
He hid behind his hair, face tense.
“What is it?” Thor asked, afraid something was wrong.
Loki looked at him, and that wary, afraid look that Thor hadn’t seen for a
while was back. “Uhhh...” he started, but whatever it was, Loki seemed to be
too embarrassed to tell him.
“Loki... it's ok. Remember? You don’t have to be afraid of anything.”
That finally made Loki smile. “Yeah. I just... I had a baby, Thor. I don't look
the same way I used too.”
Then suddenly, Thor realised why Loki had been so cagey about letting Thor
touch him or take off his shirt. He was so relieved that that was the only
problem that he laughed. “That doesn't matter, Loki. I don't care what you look
like.”
Loki didn't look convinced. “I've been trying to lose weight, but still, some
of it just doesn't want to go.”
Thor sobered up. He remembered how little Loki tended to eat and realised it
wasn't because Loki just didn't eat much, it was because he was trying to diet.
“You're breastfeeding. You shouldn't be on a diet!”
Loki shrugged unhappily. “It wasn't until I started to get fat that James
started to hate what had happened to me.”
“Yeah well James is a fucking idiot. I thought we had agreed on that one,” Thor
said, almost angrily, and Loki looked up, fearful. “A guy who abandons his
boyfriend just because he's pregnant is the lowest sort of scum in the planet.
Forget what he said, he's full of it. Loki, seriously, I don't care if you're
300 pounds and have four arms. It doesn't matter. I love you the way you are.”
Thor knew it was cliché, but he meant it.
Then Loki started smiling, albeit a little shakily. “Do you mean it?”
“Yes, I mean it. Now, do what you have to. I’m not going to care what you look
like, Loki. You know that.”
That made Loki smile, and Thor patted the bed beside him. Loki sat back down
carefully, cradling Briana’s head. “Can you hold her for a moment?” he asked
nervously, and Thor reached for her without question. She didn’t seem very
impressed – evidently she was quite aware that Thor couldn’t provide for her in
the same way that her mommy could. Thor grimaced as she started to wail, but
took solace in the fact that it was only for a moment. He tried to comfort her,
but apparently only managed to make it worse.
“She’ll get over it,” Loki reassured him, as he arranged himself against the
pillows. “She’s just grumpy because she’s hungry.”
“I figured,” Thor said morosely. He wasn’t sure what it said about him, that
Briana seemed to enjoy crying when it came to him. He tried to shush her, but
she just glared and wailed louder.
Loki looked at her, a little worried, and bent over to kiss her head. “Have
patience, little one.”
Briana looked at him, her little face red and shiny with tears. She attempted
to crawl over to him but didn’t make it far before Thor grasped her. He figured
she was bound to hate her now.
“Just a second,” Loki said, hands going to the hem of his shirt. He hesitated,
though, and looked uncomfortable.
“Loki… it’s ok,” Thor said, his hands full of hungry, wailing baby.
Loki nodded, and looked away as he pulled his shirt over his head. He had a
vest on underneath, and Thor recognised it as one his mother liked to wear
occasionally – she claimed they “sucked everything in”. Thor just reckoned they
were really tight shirts. Loki dragged it up over his head and threw it away,
but he kept his back to Thor the whole time.
Loki seemed shy as he turned around, but Thor, naturally, couldn't help but
look. Loki was hardly fat – there was a little thickness around his hips but
nothing unusual, though he saw stripes of skin that looked a different colour
around the edge of his stomach.
“Stretch marks,” Loki said shyly, noticing him looking. He took Briana from
Thor's arms carefully, and she seemed to know what was going on because she
stopped crying.
Thor watched as Loki settled back against the bed, and shifted Briana in his
arms. Loki's chest was rounded, little breasts full of milk, and Thor realised
he hadn't noticed until now because of the vest that Loki probably chose to
wear every day. He wondered just how comfortable that would have been.
Briana latched on and started to suckle, a tiny fist lying against Loki's
chest. Thor felt that familiar feeling run through him – the one that only Loki
evoked: fierce protection. He moved up closer and snuggled in next to Loki,
wrapping an arm around him and letting him fit against him.
Loki sighed and turned his head into Thor’s neck, closing his eyes. “Thank
you,” he whispered.
“For what?” Thor asked, confused.
“For not being freaked out by all this.”
Thor kissed the top of his head. “You’re going to have to try harder if you
want to freak me out,” he said with a grin.
“Pity we didn’t take a birth video then,” Loki said dryly, and tilted his head
up towards Thor. “That ought to do it.”
“Yeah… I think I might pass on that one,” Thor agreed. “Blood isn’t my thing.”
“It’s not my thing either,” Loki said, and shifted slightly until Briana was
more comfortable. “But I didn’t have much choice in the matter.”
“What about a caesarean?” Thor mused out loud.
“That does, believe it or not, produce a reasonable amount of blood,” Loki
pointed out with a wry smile. “Think it must be because of the whole ‘cutting
my stomach open’ thing.”
Thor winced at the thought.
“I know,” Loki said, having seen his grimace. “But I turned down a caesarean
for other reasons.”
“You had a choice?” Thor asked, not sure if he ought to be surprised or not. He
really didn’t have much a clue when it came to matters like this.
“Well, yeah, everyone does,” Loki said. “My doctors wanted me to. But I didn’t,
personal choice more than anything else.”
“But the pain…” Thor thought out loud.
“Sucked,” Loki finished for him. “But they didn’t exactly toss me on the bed
and leave me there. I had more drugs than a Mexican cartel.”
Thor snorted, and then slapped a hand over his mouth as Briana shifted at the
noise. “Sorry,” he squeaked.
Loki shrugged with the shoulder that Briana wasn’t laying against. “Don’t
worry. Takes a lot to make her stop nursing anyway, you’ll have to be louder
next time.”
“I think I’ll leave her be,” Thor said, but risked it by stroking Briana’s head
with a finger. She didn’t stir, so he continued. He watched as she suckled,
somewhat fascinated, both because he had never seen anyone breastfeeding before
and also because it was Loki - it was his Loki. Everything in his universe was
basically being rewritten. This wasn’t anything he had envisaged would be part
of his life, at least not so soon.
He tried to stop thinking, and let himself relax again. It was quite peaceful,
lying there, and if it wasn’t for the nap they’d had Thor was pretty sure he
would have fallen asleep again.
After a while Loki sat back up to move Briana to his other breast, and then he
really did fall asleep on Thor after they settled back down. Thor tried not to
disturb them, keeping as still as he could, even when his back started to ache
after being twisted for so long. It was worth it – everything seemed so worth
it.
He watched over Briana when she seemed to have had enough and stopped nursing,
but Loki didn’t stir. He wasn’t sure if he ought to wake him or not, but Briana
fell asleep too and they both seemed so calm he was reluctant. Very carefully,
he moved himself until he was square against the pillows and the ache in his
back eased. Loki shifted against him but didn’t wake.
Briana had moved in Loki’s arms. Thor reached down and tried to readjust where
she lay, so her mouth was free of Loki’s breast. She sniffled, her little nose
crinkling, and Thor bit his lip to stop a laugh escaping. She was gorgeous.
He pulled up a blanket from the bed to cover both of them, being careful to
leave Briana’s head free. He supposed he could have used the opportunity to
become better acquainted with the assets that Loki had kept from him for so
long, but he figured it was slightly sleazy to do it while Loki was asleep, and
a little wrong when Briana was currently the primary benefactor.
So he covered Loki up and hoped his selflessness would reward him later.
*
Loki didn’t wake up until Briana awoke and started squirming in his arms. He
groaned, and heaved himself up and off of Thor, raising Briana until she was
against his side. She calmed quickly and stared at Thor, as if wondering what
he was still doing around.
“Is she up now or do you need to put her back down in her cot?” Thor asked,
finding this business of worrying about a child before his own needs a little
novel.
“She’ll stay up for a bit, now,” Loki said, though it sounded as if he was
speaking through clenched teeth. Thor would have dismissed it if it weren’t for
the sudden tightness that became noticeable across Loki’s shoulders.
“You ok?” Thor asked, bending forward to better see him.
Loki nodded, but he was grimacing.
“No you aren’t,” Thor said, and held out his hands for Briana. “What’s wrong?”
Loki passed her over without complaint, and clutched at his stomach. “Just a
stomach ache.”
Briana clutched at Thor’s shirt. “Since when?”
“Since partway through feeding her. It happens, sometimes, since she was born.
It’s nothing.”
“Doesn’t look like nothing,” Thor pointed out.
Loki shifted to the end of the bed and started rummaging through the things on
his bedside table. He found a pack of Ibuprofen and downed a couple with water,
screwing up his face at the taste. He crawled back onto the bed and under the
covers before curling up.
Thor wanted to climb under the covers and curl up with him, to try and comfort
him somewhat, but he still had Briana. She was restless now, and wanted to
play, so he let her down between his knees.
Loki reached out a hand just to stroke her, make sure she was alright, before
withdrawing it and pulling the covers up around himself. Thor stroked his
forehead and found it clammy and warm, and he worried about how quickly Loki
seemed to have fallen ill.
“Should I get your mom?” he asked, concerned.
Loki shook his head and then closed his eyes. “Just wanna rest for a bit. Take
Briana to her if you want.” His voice sounded strained, and Thor felt all kinds
of worried. Loki didn’t look well at all.
*
He didn’t take Briana to Farbauti. He played with her on the bed for a while,
marvelling at all the things she could do, while simultaneously keeping an eye
on Loki, who’d fallen into a restless sleep. He was worried about the pinched
look on his face, and about how Loki had said the stomach aches had been
happening since Briana was born. He wasn’t a doctor, but that didn’t sound
right.
Briana chewed on her toys, on Thor’s pants and then his hair. He was wiping the
drool off his face when there was a soft knock on the door.
“Yeah?” he said automatically, forgetting for a moment he was at Loki’s house
and not at home, and that whoever was at the door was not his mother.
Farbauti edged the door open and poked her head in. “Just wondering how you
boys are getting on,” she asked. “It’s nearly dinner time.”
Thor had no idea it was that late. He’d ditched his phone when he came in and
there wasn’t a clock to be seen. “Oh. Um, we’re good, Loki’s just having a
nap,” he said, trying really hard not to feel bad about telling Loki’s mom a
bit of a white lie. He failed, and felt awful.
She nodded. “Ok. Dinner’s in 20 minutes. If you get bored or she gets restless
bring her down to the living room.”
“Ok. Sounds good.”
She smiled and closed the door behind her, and Loki didn’t so much as stir.
*
It seemed that, with the time she was being forced to spend with Thor, Briana
was starting to get used to him, however reluctant she was. He found toys for
her, let her play with his hair (painful) his shirt (he wasn’t sure if his mom
could tackle those drool stains) and at one point she tried to stand on his
groin (extra painful).
She did tire of him eventually though, and tried – without much success – to
wake Loki by tapping him with her hand. He murmured something in his sleep and
nearly rolled onto her, if it wasn’t for Thor rescuing her just in time. Thor
decided that they both needed a change of scenery and picked her up carefully
to take her to the living room.
She clung to him and drooled into his shoulder, and then tried using him as a
teething ring. He wasn’t sure if it was the grimace or the spreading pool of
drool that prompted Farbauti to take Briana when they finally made it to the
living room.
“Welcome to the wonderful world of parenting,” she teased gently, and all Thor
could do was smile ruefully. At least he got to be able to hand her back. Loki
had to look after her nearly all the time.
He took a seat at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, and Farbauti fetched him a
Coke from the fridge without question. “You look like you need it,” she said,
while simultaneously juggling Briana and the last of the dinner preparation.
Thor shrugged. “I don’t know much about babies,” he confessed.
“Do you have any brothers or sisters?” Farbauti asked, stopping to press a kiss
to Briana’s forehead before pulling plates out of the cupboard one-handed.
Thor hopped off the stool to give her a hand. “No. I think my parents wanted
another child, but they were never able,” he said, remembering the three years
that had left his parents frustrated and, eventually, resigned. “They got stuck
with me.”
Farbauti laughed. “I think they got a pretty good deal,” she said, smiling.
“You’ve been so good to Loki. It’s been a while he’s had someone to look out
for him.”
Warmth pooled in his stomach and Thor felt his face grow red. He tried to hide
it by pretending to fumble in the cupboard for glasses, and he suspected that
Farbauti knew exactly what he was doing. He also suspected she wasn’t waiting
for an answer. It was exceptionally kind of her to say what she had, and Thor
just didn’t know what to say. The reply was bundled in a range of emotions of
feelings that Thor just couldn’t describe and say out loud.
The moment was shattered by Briana’s sudden squealing. Thor turned around with
the glasses cradled in his hands to see her triumphantly holding a shiny
teaspoon aloft from her perch on Farbauti’s hip. The delight on her face at
acquiring such an intriguing object was beautiful. Farbauti laughed as she
watched her, encouraging her play. Thor wondered just what having Briana around
meant to her and Loki’s father.
Thor set the table quickly, finding everything with Farbauti’s direction. He
laid out the cutlery and glasses and a jug of chilled water, then pulled out
place mats and set them at each place. They had scenic pictures of Norway on
them, and while Thor had never been there his parents always had coffee table
books on Norway and paintings up on the walls. He recognised Laupstad, in the
Lofotens, and the North Cape, and what was probably an especially desolate part
of Finnmark, but there were a couple he did not know. He held up one placemat
that showed a picturesque harbour.
“Where is this?” he asked Farbauti.
She turned away from the sink and wiped her hands on a dishcloth. “That’s
Stavern, in Vestfold. Laufey – Loki’s father – his parents are from there. When
Loki was younger we would often go there for holidays. It’s a lovely place.”
“It looks like it,” Thor said, and finally set it down. His parents were
Norwegian, and they often spoke Norwegian around him, but apart from the
paintings and the books Thor knew very little about Norway. It made him feel a
little disconnected, as if he was missing something.
“Loki said your parents are from Oslo?” Farbauti asked.
“Yeah. They came over here just before I was born. I’ve never been,” Thor said,
with no little regret. “My father often goes back for work, though.”
“Ah. You should go, when you have the chance. It’s a wonderful place. You’d
like it.”
“I think I would,” Thor said, and if his smile was a little sad, Farbauti
didn’t comment.
“Dinner’s nearly ready. Why don’t you go wake up Loki? I’m going to change
Briana before dinner.”
“Yeah, of course,” Thor said, perking up a little. He followed Farbauti down
the hallway, Briana’s face staring at him from over her shoulder, and he
couldn’t resist poking his tongue out at her, eliciting a squeal of joy.
Farbauti knocked on Loki’s door gently and then opened it quietly, slipping
inside and leaving it open for Thor to follow. She took Briana into the nursery
and shut the door, leaving Thor alone in the room with Loki, who was still fast
asleep.
He sat down gingerly at the edge of the bed. “Hey,” he whispered, trying to
wake Loki up as gently as he could. “Loki.” He touched Loki’s shoulder softly,
and shook him carefully. “Wake up.”
Loki sighed and flopped over, wriggling as he fought to stay asleep. Thor shook
him again, and this time Loki mumbled something and swiped sleepily at Thor’s
arm. “Go away…”
“Dinner, Loki. Time to get up.”
Loki groaned. “I hate you.”
“I know,” Thor said adoringly. Loki was very, very cute when he was half awake.
“How’s the stomach?”
“Better,” Loki said, and with Thor’s help, struggled upright.
“Better enough to eat dinner?”
“Hmmmm… yes,” Loki said decisively. “Mom’s cooking.”
Thor laughed. “It smells good, I can tell you that.”
“Always does.”
Thor stood up to let Loki climb off the bed.
“Where’s Briana?” Loki asked, as he rummaged through his dresser for a change
of clothes.
“Your mom has her,” Thor said, and indicated towards the nursery. “She’s
changing her.”
“Oh. Good,” Loki said, and pulled a clean shirt over his head before swapping
his trackpants for jeans. He brushed his hair and tied it up, and looked, to
Thor’s eyes at least, a lot better than he had before his sleep.
“You look gorgeous,” Thor whispered, and brought Loki close for a hug that
turned into a prolonged cuddle and then a reasonably heavy make out session.
They were so distracted they didn’t hear Farbauti and Briana come back into the
room.
“I guess I should knock next time, huh?” she said wryly, smiling as Thor and
Loki leapt apart. “Don’t worry boys, I’ve seen worse.”
She handed a delighted Briana back to Loki, who covered her with kisses and
nearly squeezed her to death in a cuddle.
“Dinner, baby,” Loki said to Briana, and they headed back down the hallway to
the kitchen.
*
Thor ran out of superlatives for Farbauti’s cooking. His mom was a pretty good
cook, but Farbauti used her own style that seemed to infuse everything she made
with a particular zest. He had seconds, and then with Laufey’s encouragement,
thirds.
It wasn’t just the food that was good. Loki’s family was so loving and so
comfortable around each other that Thor realized with a start halfway through
that he was almost jealous. He loved his parents, and they loved each other,
but quite often at home it was just him and his mother and things could be
lonely. Here, even though Loki was an only child as well, his parents,
grandmother and Briana filled out the table and conversation ran freely and
sometimes, fiercely.
Thor sat next to Loki, who had Briana in a high chair next to him. Farbauti had
made up some soft baby food for her, and in between bites he would feed her
some, until she screwed up her face and refused any more, curtailing Loki’s
encouragement.
“Give it time,” Loki’s grandmother – who told Thor very firmly that her name
was Ane, and to call her that in future – said, and stood up to fetch a wet
cloth to wipe Briana’s mouth and hands. “She’s not used to solids so well just
yet.”
“When did you feed her, darling?” Farbauti asked.
“About an hour ago,” Loki said, glancing at the clock. “So I should feed her
again before I put it down.”
Farbauti nodded. “You be careful. She’s getting fat.”
Thor thought she was serious until everyone cracked up. Briana looked overjoyed
to see everyone so happy and clapped her hands together, making Thor laugh.
Loki looked at him, his grin wide and careful, and Thor had to stop himself
from leaning over to kiss him in front of his parents.
*
They lounged around after dinner, too full to move, and though it was rapidly
darkening outside Thor was reluctant to text his parents to ask them to pick
him up. He wanted to stay, not just because of Loki, but because of Briana and
the intensely welcoming feeling that seemed to pervade Loki’s house, making him
feel as though he could walk in without knocking and just fling himself in a
chair, shoes on and all. He felt like he could stay forever, but he knew that
couldn’t happen.
Loki nudged him with a shoulder. “What is it?” he asked quietly.
Thor sighed. “I should go soon. My mom wants me home at a reasonable hour.”
He was grateful for the understanding smile that Loki gave him. They had moved
to the living room and taken to the couches, and Loki sat next to him with
Briana on his lap. She was on the verge of falling asleep, trying valiantly to
stay awake with everyone around her, but Thor could see her eyes beginning to
close. He wanted to be there when she fell asleep, he wanted to be there to
look over her while she slept, and he wanted to be there when she was awake, to
make sure the evil in the world couldn’t touch her. He wanted more than he
could ever hope to put into words.
“Stay for just a little bit more,” Loki whispered.
Thor kissed him, not caring that Loki’s parents were just across from them.
When they pulled apart, Briana was asleep.
*
In the end, Laufey dropped him home, and if Thor had expected his first
experience being alone with his boyfriend’s father to be awkward he was wrong.
He picked up on the vibe that Laufey had probably been a strict father, but he
also had a side to him that was humorous and understanding, and Thor managed to
not make a total fool of himself. That was surely still to come.
He didn’t live too far away, and the drive was reasonably short. It was well
dark out by the time he arrived home, and his mother met him at the door after
he said thank you and goodbye to Laufey.
“Well, how did it go?” she asked him expectantly.
“Good, really good,” Thor said, deciding she didn’t need to know about the
whole sex thing.
“Did you ask Loki which day he could come for dinner?”
Oh. Whoops. “No… I forgot.” Thor winced. “But I can ask him at school on
Monday.”
She nodded her head and seemed satisfied. “Good, good. Your father’s doing some
work in his office so don’t disturb him, okay?”
Thor wouldn’t dare. His father hated being disturbed while he was working. He’d
learnt that the hard way when he was younger. He kissed his mother on the
cheek, and decided that sequestering himself in his room for the rest of the
evening was a great idea.
It also meant he could spend it texting without being teased for it.
He’d been 15 minutes away from Loki and Briana now, and it was 15 minutes too
long. A text message wasn’t quite the same, but it’d do.
As long as his thumb didn’t fall off.
Chapter End Notes
     Much like Thor, I know very little about babies. I know more about
     foals than I do about the infants of my own species. Not very
     helpful. So a lot of googling and youtubing went on in the process of
     writing this chapter! Sorry if I get anything drastically wrong :O.
     I also know very little about Norway - those places I picked out of a
     book I have on Norway. Go me!
***** Chapter 17 *****
Chapter Notes
     Apologies to any house fans for the crack.... :D
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Thor woke up the next morning still fully dressed, splayed out on top of the
covers like an idiot. He hadn’t bothered to draw the curtains the night before
and so the midday sun shone through the windows like a beacon, making him
wonder how the hell he hadn’t woken up earlier. He scrambled for his phone and
found it on the floor, and then finally remembered the epic text session he and
Loki had had the night before. It had lasted until just past half past two,
when Loki confessed that Briana had fallen asleep on him and he was about to do
the same. Thor hadn’t even bothered to put his phone down properly before
succumbing himself.
It took him a little over three minutes to remember that he had promised to
take Tasha out for lunch. He sprang upright with a startling burst of energy
and nearly dropped his phone again as he glanced at it for the time. 11.49am.
He was fucked.
*
Tasha liked to cross her arms when she was mad. When situations deemed it
necessary, she would cross her legs too, and then if things reached
catastrophic levels she would tap her fingers on her arm. All whilst
maintaining a deadly calm face.
Thor could just about see the flames coming out of her ears as he ran up the
path to her house. She was waiting outside, leaning against the wall, very
pointedly not checking the time on her watch.
He knew he had to grovel. He dropped to his knees, kicked puppy expression
firmly in place, and supplicated.
“Tasha! I am so, so sorry I swear I didn’t do it on purpose please don’t kill
me!” He held his hands up in surrender and closed his eyes as he winced,
convinced the end was coming. And he was still so young…
Tasha tsked. “Christ Thor, all you had to do was text that you’d be late. You
owe me dessert to go with that burger now.” She pushed off the wall with her
foot and Thor figured it was safe enough to prise one eye open.
“Am I forgiven?” he asked, worried.
“Yes, you idiot. I’ll cut your balls off after we get food, I’m starving.”
*
For someone so tiny, Tasha had a prodigious appetite. She demolished two
burgers, two servings of fries and a blueberry pie before pinching the rest of
Thor’s milkshake. How she stayed so slim was something that Thor hadn’t yet
figured out. He was too protective of his pride to ask.
“Soooo…” Tasha drawled as she picked up a fry and dipped it in Thor’s chocolate
milkshake. “What did you two get up to on Friday, hmm?” She raised a perfectly
sculptured eyebrow.
Thor had been expecting the question. Unfortunately, he hadn’t yet come up with
an answer. He hadn’t asked Loki if he wanted to tell the others yet, and it
wasn’t his place to do so without his consent. That left him either lying to
Tasha, or telling her he had to keep her in the dark – again.
Apparently, the awfully long time he was taking to formulate an answer seemed
to tell her everything. “Can’t tell me, huh?” she asked, her eyes dark.
Thor sighed. “Not yet. It’s kinda… private.”
Tasha pursed her lips. “Figured. And here I was thinking you could provide me
with some decent gossip for once. It’s getting kinda boring around here.”
“You’re telling me,” Thor agreed, because before Loki had come along there
hadn’t been a whole lot to do around the town.
“So, I get to be the first to know, right, when you get permission to speak?”
she asked, leaning forward.
Thor could tell by the deadly glint in her eye that he had no choice but to say
yes. “Of course,” he said, and hoped he didn’t sound nervous.
“Good,” she said dangerously. “I don’t want to run your boxers up the flagpole
again.”
“Once was enough,” Thor agreed, and winced at the memory.
“So,” she said suddenly, putting the milkshake down so hard it nearly spilled
all over the table, “what’s happening with Steve and Tony?” She leaned close to
him, as if trying to keep their conversation secret. Thor wondered if Tony had
finally bugged the burger bar.
He wasn’t entirely sure how to answer the question. As far as he knew, Tony and
Steve hadn’t said anything, and he and Loki had been the only ones to see them
make out the night of the party. However, he couldn’t put anything past Tasha.
So he asked her, “What do you know?”
She paused a moment before replying. “I know that I saw a certain couple
kissing in the garden of Stark Mansion not so long ago. And I happen to know
that you and your current bed partner of choice also happened to witness this
auspicious occasion. Hence, I feel safe discussing this with you.”
“You saw?!” Thor asked, somewhat surprised because he hadn’t seen her around
when they had gone outside.
“Yep,” she said, with no little satisfaction.
When she said nothing else, Thor prodded her for more. “Oh fine. Clint was
hurling in the bushes and I went to give him a glass of water. That’s why I was
in the kitchen when you guys left. I followed you out, not that you probably
noticed, you were too concerned with each other.”
Thor blushed at the memory. “Okayyy. You are a ninja, then, apparently. But
Steve and Tony… they haven’t said anything to you?”
“To me? No way. I would have thought Tony might have said something to you. Of
all of us, you’re probably the closest to him. Our group started with you two.”
“He hasn’t said anything,” Thor said, and shrunk, just a little, because with
all this going on with Loki he had pretty much been ignoring Tony. He felt
awful.
Tasha shrugged. “You’ve been busy making out with Loki, he’s apparently been
busy making out with Steve. I think you’ve both been too busy to hang out,
apart from school that is. So I wouldn’t feel bad. He knows how you feel about
Loki.” She pinched the rest of Thor’s burger.
“Still… I kinda haven’t been spending much time with you guys.”
“Not true,” Tasha protested. “You hung out with me just last week, remember? We
went shopping.”
“No, you went shopping and I held the bags,” Thor reminded her, smiling.
“Mmm, true. I forgot to buy a few things though, so I’m going again Tuesday
after school if you and lover boy want to come.”
Thor nodded. “I’ll ask him,” he said, and didn’t mention that all depended on
whether or not Loki was needed for breastfeeding duties.
“Good.” Tasha finished the last of the milkshake and stood up.
“Where are you going?” Thor asked, confused.
“Well, I promised Clint I’d go see his mom and his newest brother today at the
hospital. Wanna come?”
*
And that was how Thor found himself following Tasha down the corridors of their
tiny local hospital. It was formally called Harlow Memorial Hospital, after the
founder of the town, but was more commonly referred to as The Harry, for some
reason that people had long forgotten. There were other names for it too, but
they generally weren’t used in public. There was a private hospital too, across
town, known as The Pillars because of its grand exterior. Thor couldn’t
remember the formal name of the place. He’d never been.
In the last year The Harry had undergone what had been referred to as a
“renovation and face-lift” in the local papers but had turned out to be more of
a botched paint job than anything else. The walls had ended up a strange pea-
green that made Thor think of puke, and so any opportunity to visit the place
left him with a strange, nauseous feeling.
It was not a very cherry place.
At least the maternity ward had been spared the puke green. The walls were a
bright yellow instead and left Thor wishing he’d brought his sunglasses.
Everywhere he looked there were babies, and pregnant women, and he could have
sworn he saw a pregnant man – a duas medietates - behind one curtain, but Tasha
was in a hurry and he knew it was rude to stare so he wasn’t quite sure.
Barton number 5 was tiny, completely bald, and had very pink, scrunched-up
face. That didn’t stop Tasha and Clint cooing over him though, and Thor
insisted he was “very cute” when it was expected of him. He watched Mrs Barton
as she held him adoringly, and all he could think of was Briana and Loki, and
he wondered if Briana had looked like that when she was born. But she was so
pretty, and so delicate, that he thought she couldn’t have possibly been that
scrunched up.
He almost said something. He almost said that he had thought Briana was small,
but this baby, just three days old, was so much tinier and it had put things
into perspective for him. At the last second he stopped himself, and Tasha gave
him a strange look, but he smiled innocently back and pretended not to know
anything. She narrowed her eyes at him but didn’t speak.
*
“I swear to god if you don’t tell me what’s going on soon I am going to smack
you into next year,” she threatened as they were leaving.
Thor sighed. “I’m sorry, you know I am.”
Tasha made a sound that Thor was pretty sure wasn’t very sympathetic. For a
moment his temper flared up, and he wanted to ask why the hell it was so
important that she knew, but he stopped himself just in time – both because he
didn’t want to make a fuss over it, and also because he knew Tasha knew things
about the human body that meant she could hide a dead one very easily.
He swallowed. “I don’t suppose apologizing again is going to make it better.”
Tasha stopped. “No. I’m sorry. I’ll stop being nosy. For a little while,
anyway. I can’t promise it’ll last very long. It’s just… we’re good friends,
right? And we’ve always told each other everything. And now that Loki is here,
suddenly you’re off doing things with someone else, and we don’t hang out as
much anymore, and you’re hiding things from me. It’s just… weird. And I don’t
know if I like it.” She shrugged. “Maybe I’m just jealous. I like Loki, I
really do, I think I just wasn’t prepared for you to fall over heels for him
and to want to spend more time with him.”
Thor felt guilty for the second time that day. First, he had felt bad about
Tony, and now he was feeling bad about Tasha. He knew they could look after
themselves, and friendship went both ways, but it was true that he hadn’t been
spending much time with them lately. The thing was, he’d promised Loki he’d be
there for him and Briana, and no matter the long ties he had with Tony and
Tasha, Loki and the baby took precedence. He just couldn’t tell them that.
He wasn’t feeling like a very good friend.
“Are you ok?” Tasha asked, concerned.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good,” Thor lied, and faked a smile. “I’m sorry that things
have been different lately. We should spend more time together.”
“We should. Now, come on, I’ve got homework to do.”
*
Thor lay on his back on his bed, phone clutched between both hands as they
rested on his chest. He’d been in a rather gloomy mood ever since his
conversation with Tasha, though he knew that hadn’t been her intention. It was
apparent now that he’d been spending so much time with Loki he’d seemingly
forgotten about everyone else.
Now he was just confused. If he went back to spending time as much time with
the others as he had before he’d starting dating Loki, then he wouldn’t have
much time to spend with Loki – nowhere near as much as he currently was. But he
couldn’t not spend time with Loki, considering what he’d promised and also, he
thought he was bound to go mad if he didn’t.
He groaned and turned over to try and suffocate himself with his pillow.
*
Thor started the next day with a vow to interact a little more with people who
weren’t Loki, while at the same time giving Loki the same amount of attention
he was already giving him. He wasn’t sure where he was going to find time for
this and for his schoolwork, but he figured he didn’t need that much sleep
anyway.
He met Loki on the way to school and walked with him the rest of the way,
spending most of the time asking about Briana and trying to organize a good
night for dinner that week. He confessed that his father didn’t know about
Briana, but Loki seemed to understand and said he wouldn’t mention anything
while he was there. Thor hated to ask that of him, but at the same time he knew
that he needed a bit of time to “soften” his father up.
By the time they reached school Thor had been brought up to date on Loki’s
attempts to teach Briana how to say “ma-ma” (colossal failure) and they had
decided that Thursday was a good night for Loki to come round, as it would give
both of them time to steel themselves. Thor was, by now, well acquainted with
Loki’s parents, but he suspected his own were going to be a harder nut to
crack.
Clint greeted them both with his usual wink-wink-nudge-nudge humor and made
them both groan, while Tasha was a little quieter but perked up when Thor gave
her a hug and said they were both keen to go shopping the next day. Tony and
Steve arrived in a red, noisy blur in Tony’s sportscar, nearly running over
three freshmen in the process. Steve looked a little green when he disembarked
and Thor didn’t blame him. He’d been driving with Tony before and had feared
for his life.
As they mingled, waiting for the bell to ring, Thor reflected on the secret
that Loki, and now he, held from the rest of them. They had no idea how
different Loki’s life was, how different Thor’s life was going to become. They
were all concerned about tests and parties and cars while Loki was concerned
about caring for someone who depended on him entirely. He tugged Loki closer
and kissed his forehead, deciding that for now it was something they could
share between the two of them, and let the others worry about themselves.
*
The day passed in somewhat of a blur, because Thor couldn’t help but feel that
the things they were learning about in school just seemed inconsequential
compared to the new knowledge that he held. Briana was more important than the
Boston Tea Party, more important than cellular division. He was hoping this
feeling would be temporary, because he knew how Loki felt about doing well in
school, and reminded himself that Loki worked twice as hard as he did to ensure
he had good grades – all for Briana’s sake.
All in all, by the end of the day, he was quite happy to be out of there.
Loki had to go home to feed Briana, and Thor had to go home and get his
homework done before his mother got home, so he could vacuum the car and get
rid of the Pop-Tart crumbs he’d kindly left there in the weekend. It was hard
to kiss him and let him go, and Thor stood there and watched over Loki as he
walked home as long as he could from where he was, but thankfully managed to
refrain from making him text him when he got home to ensure he got there ok. He
hated to think his mother was rubbing off on him.
*
His mother was busy in the kitchen the next morning, preparing dinner for later
that night, when Thor stumbled downstairs, still in a sleepy hazy. She kissed
him on the cheek and made him wince, then made him eggs for breakfast.
“I’ll be home late today,” he said, only just remembering in time. He didn’t
want another lecture.
“Oh? Where are you going?” his mother asked, turning around. She looked at him
as if she knew exactly where he would be, and he had to give her points – she
wasn’t far wrong.
“Shopping. With Tasha and Loki.”
“Ah. I suppose you want your allowance then.”
Thor smiled sheepishly. His father still insisted on giving him money every
week, but thankfully no longer referred to it as pocket money. His reasoning
was that he didn’t want Thor to get a job because he ought to be concentrating
on school work (yeah, that hadn’t worked out so well) and it should stop him
from asking for it. Thor usually spent it on comics and action figures, and
lunches at the burger bar, so he never turned it down.
“Thanks,” he mumbled into his toast.
“Here.”
He looked up, wondering at the small smile on his mother’s face. He took the
small roll of notes almost suspiciously, as if it was going to vanish when he
had it in his hands.
“Oh don’t look so worried,” she said, and went back to the dishes. “Count it,
if you’re going to be so fussy.”
It was all there, but there was an extra $40, and he couldn’t think why.
“What’s this for?” he asked, worried that he’d forgotten about someone’s
birthday coming up or something.
“For you,” his mother said. “Buy that boy of yours something nice. Or his
daughter,” she added, and Thor wasn’t stupid, he realized that she had intended
it to be for Briana all along.
“I thought you didn’t want me spending money on Briana,” he said, confused.
“Oh, I didn’t say that, darling. That much money won’t go far when there’s a
baby involved. Now, if you spent that and all of your normal allowance on her,
I would be concerned. But I trust you to make the right choice. And I suspect
you would have bought her something anyway.” She wiped her hands on a dishcloth
and came to sit down beside Thor at the table. “Also…” She sighed. “I’ve had a
few days to think about this, you know. I remember what you said, about wanting
to try. And Thor… even if your father, when he finds out, choses to be
unsupportive, then I will be here, no matter what. I just ask, that I get to
fawn over her every now and again,” she said, a smile blossoming on her face,
and Thor remembered saying to Farbauti on the weekend that his mother had been
desperate for another baby, but it just hadn’t happened. He wondered what
Briana could mean to her. An entirely new avenue opened for him, for them, and
he realized that Loki having Briana meant so much to more than just him – it
was, of course, going to affect his parents as well. And if his mother had
decided to support him, support them, then he was not going to turn it down.
“Thanks mom,” he said, hearing his voice crack, just a little, and putting down
his cutlery he swept her up in a hug, making her laugh.
“Two hugs in less than a week,” she said into his ear. “I think this whole
thing has been somewhat of a good influence on you!”
*
Thor carried the money in his pocket all day, carefully checking it every now
and again just to make sure it was still there. Loki gave him a strange look as
he checked it for the umpteenth time that day, and Thor just smiled and pulled
Loki into his arms.
Clint said they were breaking PDA rules, but Thor didn’t care.
*
They had planned to meet Tasha outside school after the bell, but when they
came to their usual meeting place she was nowhere in sight.
“Maybe she forgot,” Loki said, concerned.
“Nah Tasha doesn’t forget anything. She’s like an elephant,” Thor reassured
him.
“Do I look like an elephant to you?” came a disgruntled voice from above them,
and they looked up to see Tasha sitting in a tree. “I would have thought I was
more like a gazelle.” She swung down and landed lightly in front of them.
“A monkey?” Thor offered, and took the swat to his arm in good humor.
“Shut up, Thor Odinson,” she said affectionately. She pulled Thor towards her
with one hand and grabbed Loki’s with another. “Now, are we going shopping, or
what?”
*
Clint’s mother was home from hospital, so he had gone straight home to help
look after her. Thor had asked both Steve and Tony to come with them, but both
had declined and said something about remedial tutoring. He was pretty sure
neither of them needed remedial tutoring, but didn’t push the issue. He had
asked Tony about hanging out together on Wednesday night, maybe a movie, like
they used to do, and Tony’s face had lit up like a Christmas tree before he’d
even had the chance to say yes, so Thor was glad he had. He was looking forward
to spending some time with Tony again – as much as he loved to be with Loki, he
missed Tony’s sense of humor and deadpan wit.
“Right, I am flipping STARVING,” Tasha said, when they arrived. She steered
them towards a row of eateries, and despite having demolished half of the
cafeteria at lunch Thor’s stomach began to rumble again. “What are we having?”
They settled on Subway, each choosing a footlong, though Thor had to glare at
Loki until he changed his from a 6 inch. Loki managed to completely destroy his
sub, which only served to prove to Thor that Loki didn’t eat nearly as much as
he ought to. He even bought Loki a bag of cookies afterwards, and tucked them
into his bag without responding to his protests.
Thor’s favorite shop at the mall was the record store. He had spent countless
hours in there, drooling over records and albums and cds, and had become firm
friends with the owner, Phil. Phil was a diehard metalhead and shared Thor’s
love of all things heavy, and always let him know about new music. Thor hadn’t
yet succumbed to the ease of downloading, preferring to be able to hold an
album in his hand and read the liner notes, and for him, the love had never
faded.
Loki took to the place like a cat in cream. They flicked through cds together,
sharing their opinions and reviews, and Loki convinced Thor to try Gothminister
while Thor made him buy the latest Five Finger Death Punch. Tasha just screwed
up her nose when she saw what they had bought.
“Don’t mind her,” Thor said to Loki as they left the store. “She listens to
house.”
Loki snorted and Tasha flung them a haughty look from over her shoulder. “At
least the covers on my cds don’t scare small children.”
Thor made a face at her back.
“I saw that.”
*
Tasha wanted to buy a present for Clint’s mom, Angela. She led the way to a
store that specialized in things for mothers and babies, and Thor practically
saw Loki’s eyes light up.
“I didn’t realize this was here,” Loki whispered. “I’ve been buying stuff off
the internet!”
Thor chuckled. “You could have asked!”
“Yeah, well, awkward question!”
Tasha left them to it, apologizing for making them wait in a baby store, not
realizing that Loki was practically salivating to have a look. He made a
beeline towards the clothing section, and Thor followed obediently.
There were rows and rows of little dresses, and shirts and pants and jerseys,
and Thor wouldn’t have known what to look at. But Loki clearly knew his way
around a baby store, and was flicking through dresses in Briana’s size within
minutes.
“They’re pretty,” Thor remarked, startling Loki who was so engrossed in his
task he hadn’t realized Thor was even behind him.
“Oh. Yeah, they are. But…” Loki sighed and reluctantly let a dress he was
looking at drop back down to swing cheerfully. “I have other things I should be
buying. She really has enough clothes.”
“Enough clothes? But not enough pretty dresses by the sounds of it,” Thor said.
Loki shrugged. “They are nice. But they aren’t really necessary. She goes
through a lot of diapers,” he said, smiling ruefully. He turned to continue
looking around.
“That brand is two for one,” Thor pointed out, tilting his head towards a sign
perched on top of the rows of clothes. “Good deal.”
“Yeah. I suppose, but -”
“I’ll buy them for you,” Thor interrupted. “Just chose the ones you want.”
Loki just stared at him for a moment. “What?”
“I said I’ll pay for them,” Thor said, and smiled. He held up the dress Loki
had been holding, a pretty pink-striped dress with colorful flowers. “I think
this would look beautiful on her.”
Loki took it slowly off the rack. “Are you sure?” he asked slowly, as if he
wanted Thor to say ‘yes’, but at the same time didn’t want to put him out.
“Yeah,” Thor said, and kissed his cheek. “I did tell you I would be there for
her, remember?”
For a moment, Thor thought he could see glistening tears in Loki’s eyes, but
then Loki blinked and he was smiling and Thor couldn’t be sure anymore. “Thank
you,” Loki said, in a voice that sounded a little choked, and Thor just rubbed
his shoulder and let him be.
Loki chose the striped dress and a blue and white dress, and then Thor made him
choose a couple of headbands to match. He could just about see Briana in them
and thought she’d be the cutest thing on earth. He was totally turning into a
softy.
Thor held the dresses and the headbands as Loki shopped for what he needed,
which turned out to be a bunch of stuff that both fascinated Thor and confused
him.
“’Breast pads’?!” Thor asked, reading from the side of a box that Loki had
given him to hold.
“Yeah.” Loki bent down and inspected a shelf of nipple balm. Thor inwardly
cringed when he realized what they were for. Loki found the one he was looking
for and added it to the pile. He noticed Thor’s expression. “Breastfeeding
isn’t always the most comfortable thing in the world,” he said. “And going six
hours without feeding at school can sometimes mean it overflows.”
Thor just gaped and decided that this was all well and truly beyond his grasp
of reality. “I’m not sure how much more I need to know,” he confessed
delicately.
Loki snorted again, and headed for the diapers. “That’s babies for you.”
By the time they made it to the counter, Loki had added nappy rash cream, baby
wipes and 3 packets of diapers to the pile. He made sure to divide it, clothes
in one pile and everything else in another, and Thor saw what he was doing. He
pushed everything together, ignoring Loki’s protests.
“How much?” he asked the store’s owner, who was peering between the two of them
like she couldn’t quite figure out what was going on. She rung it up and Thor
passed over the money before Loki could even reach for his wallet. He felt
Loki’s hand digging into his skin at his hip and resolutely ignored it while
the lady bagged their purchases.
“You shouldn’t do that,” Loki said as soon as they were out of the door. “I had
money, I can pay for what I need.” He sounded a little irritated, and for the
first time Thor realized that he might not have appreciated the gesture quite
as much as he would have thought.
Thor knew he was in trouble. “Uh, sorry?” he said, wincing, as they stopped and
waited for Tasha. “But really, I wanted to pay for that for you.”
Loki huffed, and then sighed. “I know. But… I’m not completely hopeless. I can
pay for what Briana needs, even if it isn’t always pretty dresses and
headbands. I love the clothes, and thank you for them, but you don’t always
need to do everything for us.”
Thor felt suitably chastised. “I’m sorry, really. I didn’t realize… I didn’t
really think.” It wasn’t the first time. “But I want to buy stuff for you, and
help you. If I ask next time… can I keep doing it?” He thought he might have
been pushing it with the last part, but his pleading must have worked because
Loki softened and relaxed.
“Yes. Ok. Just… ask first?” he asked softly, and leaned in to kiss the end of
Thor’s nose.
Thor couldn’t say no to that.
“God, I can’t take you two anywhere,” Tasha said jokingly as she came out of
the store burdened down with a few bags of her own. “What the heck did you two
buy in there?” she asked, spying their bags.
Thor bit his lip. It was a legitimate question but he wasn’t sure what he could
say that wouldn’t sound made up or just plain stupid. They hadn’t really been
thinking when they’d bought so much.
“My mom asked me to get a few things for my sister,” Loki explained smoothly,
not going into detail before he suggested they all got a soda before they
headed home.
Tasha agreed, but Thor knew her too well to think they’d gotten off scot-free.
Tasha was one of the most perceptive people he knew, and he could just about
see the cogs in her head start to turn. Of all of them, she was going to be the
one to figure it all out first.
It seemed that Thor was going to have to talk to Loki about telling the others
sooner than he had hoped.
*
He followed Loki home, holding the bags, banking on having at least another
half an hour before he was expected home. Farbauti greeted him with a hug and a
kiss on the cheek and another invitation to stay for dinner, but he’d already
promised his mother he’d be home. Briana was in her high chair playing with
bits of pasta and squealed when she saw Loki and Thor, throwing her little
fists up into the air so pasta went everywhere.
Thor dodged a spiral and laid the bags down on the floor, watching as Loki
picked Briana up and kissed her until she laughed. Ane was folding washing on
the couch, and Loki carried Briana over to see her. Thor watched with a spark
of jealousy as they shared a hug, wondering what it was like to be so close to
a grandparent. He could count on one hand the number of times he’d seen his
grandparents, and those occasions had usually consisted of awkward
conversations and pats on the cheek.
Farbauti hummed cheerfully behind him, picking up the bits of uneaten pasta
that Briana had flung around the room. Their house just seemed so warm and
alive and inviting – he loved his mom, he loved his dad, despite that he was
away so often, but their home seemed so empty compared to Loki’s.
He couldn’t nurture the jealousy for long though, because it was impossible to
feel bad in such a place, especially when they were so keen to share it with
them. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy to leave.
He helped Farbauti pick up the rest of the pasta and by then Loki was back,
pretending to dance with Briana in the kitchen as he sang something melodic in
Norwegian. Thor recognized the tune, because his mother used to sing it to him
when he was younger, but that was a long time ago and he’d long forgotten the
lyrics – not that he’d known what they meant, anyway.
Loki stopped in front of him and Thor reached for Briana, tucking her into his
hip carefully, and then reached for Loki’s waist. Loki fell into him gently,
leaning against him as he cooed at Briana. Farbauti moved around them as she
finished dinner, only stopping to gently shoo them out as she prepared to
serve.
“Are you sure you can’t stay? There’s more than enough to go around,” she
implored, and Thor was tempted – so very, very tempted – but he knew his mother
had made dinner and would be waiting for him, and so he had to politely – and
reluctantly – decline again.
“Well, you’re welcome any time you like,” she said, and Thor very nearly
changed his mind.
Thankfully for his mother’s temper Loki touched his elbow and Thor grabbed his
bag with one hand as they walked outside.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t stay,” Thor said.
“Me too,” Loki said simply, and Thor kissed him softly, hand tight on his
waist. Loki laughed into Thor’s mouth as Briana reached out for their cheeks,
inquisitively poking them with her fingers as she watched them, until Thor
nipped Loki’s lower lip and kissed him one last time on his nose.
“She’s learning bad habits,” Thor said, chuckling, and squeezed Briana gently
until she laughed.
“It’s my mom, I swear!” Loki insisted, but his smile gave it all away.
“Yeah right,” Thor teased. “You can’t pass the blame on this one.”
Loki pouted. “Well, I suppose…”
Thor’s mouth ran in front of his brain. “How is your mom?”
Loki looked confused at the question, and Thor didn’t blame him. He wasn’t
planning on asking, it just came out. Brain-to-mouth filter malfunction.
“She’s fine… Thor, you just saw her inside before!”
“Yeah, I know, I’m sorry… it’s just, do you remember the first time I met her?
It was just before Tony’s party. She looked… different, I guess. Tired. Now she
doesn’t.”
Loki sighed. “I know. My dad nearly lost his job. It was really stressing her
out. My dad, he’s as stoic as anything, he wasn’t going to let anything show.
But if he lost his job we might have lost the house and then…” he trailed off.
Thor wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “The company was restructuring and
they didn’t know if he could keep his job. But they just got everything sorted
back in Norway and he’s got a slightly different job now but he’s still got
one.”
“Shit,” Thor said eloquently. “I’m sorry – that must have been hard.”
Loki shrugged. “Yeah. But my mom told me not to worry about it, things would
work out and I had Briana to worry about anyway. I think she took most of the
strain. Her job’s permanent, but we couldn’t have lived off it alone.”
Thor squeezed his shoulder. “I’m glad that his job’s ok now.”
“Me too,” Loki said, with no little relief. “I don’t know what we would have
done if he’d lost it. Not many jobs around here.”
Thor kissed the top of his head. “Try not to worry. It won’t help anything.”
“Yeah. I know. You’re right. It’s done now anyway.”
Briana was obviously getting bored and started to grizzle. Loki took her from
Thor and she settled a little, but she was probably hungry. Thor bent forward
to kiss her goodbye.
“Oh hey… I know this probably isn’t the best time, but… did you want to tell
the others at some point? About Briana? I haven’t said anything, by the way,”
Thor added.
Loki bit his lip. “I don’t know. I don’t know what they’ll do… I really like
them, I don’t really want to put them off,” he said somewhat jokingly, but Thor
couldn’t hear any humor in his voice. He was genuinely worried.
“Hey don’t worry – they’ll be sweet about it, really. Trust me. I’ve known them
for years. You might have to put up with a bit of teasing but they do that no
matter what. Anyway, I’m happy to punch anyone who has a problem.” Thor wasn’t
joking.
Loki smiled, and Thor was relieved to see it was genuine. He nodded slowly and
then spoke. “Then I guess, yeah, at some point. I don’t know how or when
though…” He sighed. “Not everyone gets… this.”
“I know. It’ll be ok. But if you don’t want too, that’s cool. I just think that
maybe Tasha is slowly figuring it out.”
“She’s too smart for her own good,” Loki said dryly. “If she figures it out,
she figures it out… I trust Tasha, I think. She’s honest.”
“She is,” Thor agreed. “She won’t say anything behind your back or if you don’t
want her to. She’s a good friend.”
“She is,” Loki agreed. “I like Tasha. She says what she says and doesn’t care.
It’s… refreshing.”
Thor chuckled. “That’s Tasha for you.”
Briana was getting bored and started tugging on Loki’s hair. “I’d better take
her inside. Text me later, ok?” Loki said, an eyebrow raised.
“Don’t I always?” Thor teased.
“Good point,” Loki said, though half of it was lost in their kiss. “I’ll see
you tomorrow.”
Thor kissed Briana one last time and then, in the growing dusk, started for
home.
*
He was just a few blocks away from home when a car pulled up beside him. He
knew who it was in the corner of eye before it even stopped, and he didn’t
hesitate to hop in.
“That’s not the way home from school,” his dad said as he pulled away from the
curb.
“I know. I was at Loki’s.”
“Ah. The elusive Loki. When do I get to meet him?”
“Thursday.”
“Thursday?”
“Yeah. Mom invited him around for dinner.”
“Good,” his dad said, and Thor didn’t like the sound of that at all.
“You aren’t going to interrogate him or something are you?” he asked
suspiciously.
“Me? I would have thought your mother would have done that already.”
“She’s only met him once and we weren’t dating then.”
“Great. Then we can do it together.”
“DAD!”
Chapter End Notes
     Here is the dress that Thor bought for Briana: http://
     www.carters.com/null/FLORAL-STRIPED-SUNDRESS-SET/
     887044163775,default,pd.html?cgid=oshkosh-baby-girl-dresses-and-
     rompers&start= (hopefully that works!). The other dress is here:
     http://www.carters.com/oshkoshbgosh/Crinkle-Cotton-Lawn-Dress/
     VC_431A046,default,pd.html?navid=oshkosh-xsellPDPYMAL
***** Chapter 18 *****
Chapter Notes
     IT'S ALIVE!!!!
     No, seriously, 10,000 apologies for the 5 months or so it has taken
     to get this up :(. Real life has been kicking my butt. But I have
     finished my undergrad degree and got the results I needed to get into
     post-grad next year so I am pretty thrilled and hopefully this good
     mood will result in more fics! Or at least, more regular updates...
     *gulp*. Having said that, I have a job and farm animals to contend
     with, but I will try and kick my own butt a little harder to get more
     done.
     I just want to reiterate that this fic is not, and never will be,
     abandoned... because it lives in my head all day every day, and the
     only way to get it out is to write it down. I am always thinking
     about how to proceed and ideas and things I want to see happen... not
     all of it makes it, of course, but I can categorically state that
     this fic has done a 180 from my original idea. Which is why I have
     heavily edited the tags and removed the ones that are no longer
     applicable (I may add more in the future). I have actually sat down
     and - how sad is this - put together a journal that is helping me
     keep track of everything and all the ideas I have. Bring it on, is
     all I can say! haha.
     I want to say thank you too - despite my poor efforts at updating,
     people are still reading and leaving kudos etc. This is like
     lifeblood for an author! So THANK YOU and I hope this fic carries on
     ok considering this particular chapter has literally taken 5 months
     to write (so I hope there are no major plotholes or inconsistencies
     in plot or writing!).
See the end of the chapter for more notes
The next evening, Thor and Tony shunned the recent releases at their local
cinema in favor of a random showing of The Lost Boys. It was one of those
movies that Thor had seen so often he knew the script backwards, forwards and
upside down – and given that the theater was empty, save for them, he and Tony
spent most of the time yelling the lines at the screen and singing along to the
soundtrack. They left the theater with flushed cheeks, laughing and sharing
grins, and Thor remembered why they had spent so many evenings together just
hanging out and having fun. His parents had despaired at his relationship with
Tony – they hadn’t thought him a good influence – but had given up eventually
and just sighed whenever he announced he was going to Tony’s yet again. Then,
when Tony’s mother died, Frigga was the first person to comfort him, and after
that, Tony spent just as much time at their house as Thor did at his.
“I missed this,” Thor admitted, as they walked down the road, hands deep in the
pockets of their jackets.
“Me too,” Tony said. “How’s Loki?” he asked with a wink, and nudged Thor with
his elbow.
Thor blushed. “Loki is good. You saw him today, anyway.”
“Yeah, I know. But you’re the one fucking him.”
“No kidding.”
“Wait, you are the only one fucking him, right? He doesn’t have anyone else on
the side? Older guy, maybe the mailman?”
“The mailman? What the hell, Tony?”
“Hey, you never know. You wanna hotdog?”
Thor never turned down food.
*
“So, seriously, what’s it like?” Tony asked through a mouthful of bread and
hotdog.
“What’s what like?”
“You know…” Tony leaned in closer. “The sex,” he said, practically whispering.
Thor wanted to bury his head in the table. “We are so not talking about that
here.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s a public place Tony, if you hadn’t noticed! And why do you need
to know about our sex life anyway?”
“Because we’re good friends, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah, so tell me.”
“No.”
Tony whined. “Thor! Tell me,” he whinged.
Thor had no intention of telling Tony anything. “I’m not telling you.”
“Oh come on!” Tony kicked him under the table.
“You didn’t tell me about Steve so why should I tell you about Loki?” Thor
said, before he could stop and think.
Tony stopped eating. Thor thought it was perhaps the first time he’d ever seen
him speechless. If he could have taken the moment back he would have, and said
something else instead, but now that it was done he was curious as to what Tony
would say.
“What about me and Steve?” Tony said very slowly.
Thor sighed. He didn’t like lying to Tony, or any of his friends for that
matter. He put down his dinner. “Me and Loki… we saw you and Steve after the
party. By the pond. Sorry. We didn’t mean too.”
There was a pause and Tony didn’t say anything. He didn’t look at Thor either.
“Oh,” he said, very quietly. Thor was a little concerned. This was very unlike
Tony. After all, he could count on the fingers of one elbow the amount of times
he’d seen Tony lost for words.
“I’m sorry, Tony.”
“I know.” Tony sighed. “Steve… doesn’t want anyone to know yet. He’s just
figuring it out, I guess.”
“That must be hard for you.” Thor knew what his friend was like.
“Are you kidding?” Tony exclaimed, finally becoming more like the animated Tony
that Thor knew. “I would be standing on this damn table telling the world if I
could.”
Thor laughed, because he could imagine Tony doing just that. “And what, put up
a billboard down the main street?”
“Maybe!”
“Yeah, I can see why Steve wants to stay silent,” Thor pointed out dryly.
Tony sighed. “I know. But still… it sucks when you two get to make out like
idiots at school and I have to keep my hands off Steve.”
“Tony, you never could take your hands off Steve anyway.”
“Yeah, well, you know what I mean.”
They finished the rest of their food in silence, though Tony threw out a hand
to stop Thor when he started to rise from the table.
“You won’t tell anyone, right?” Tony said seriously, his face suddenly pinched
and worried. “Steve would kill me.”
Thor figured that Tony was probably more worried about Steve being concerned at
all their reactions more than about whether or not he’d kill him, but kept it
to himself. “You know I wouldn’t tell anyone,” he said to Tony. “Under pain of
death.”
Tony seemed satisfied. “Good. You tell anyone, I tell everyone sordid details
of you and Loki’s sex life.”
Thor stopped. “What the hell? I haven’t told you any sordid details!”
Tony smirked. “I have an over-active imagination. I can make stuff up.”
Thor rolled his eyes. “I bet you can,” he said under his breath, and stuffed
his hands into his jacket pockets.
From the way Tony had started chuckling from beside him, he guessed he’d heard.
“Wanna hear some?” he teased brazenly, nudging Thor with an elbow.
“I think I’ll pass,” Thor replied dryly. “Save it for Playboy or dodgy internet
forums or something.”
Tony pushed him out the door. “I do not read such vile filth,” he declared, and
stuck his nose up into the air.
“You don’t have to lie to me, Tony. I’ve seen what you keep under your bed.”
Tony looked shocked. “You won’t tell Steve, will you?”
“I think it’s a bit late for that. C’mon Tony, it’s not like Steve thinks
you’re as pure as the driven snow anyway.”
Tony gasped dramatically and asked, “Why would anyone think I am not?”
Thor didn’t bother to reply, and settled for raising an eyebrow.
“Hmmph. Fine. Anyway, speaking of all things pure, what is the deal with Loki?”
Thor’s eyebrows meet halfway up his forehead. “What are you talking about?”
“Well… guy turns up in the middle of the semester, from Alaska of all damn
places, kicks everyone’s ass and makes it to the top of all his classes within
a month despite missing out on over half the year, oh, and hooks up with you
before you can say ‘suspicious behavior’.”
“What in the hell is suspicious about that?”
Tony shrugged. “I may have been watching too many movies.”
“No shit.”
“Well, I mean, what have you learnt about him that he hasn’t told the rest of
us? You’re doing the horizontal tango just about every time you see him, so he
must have told you things.”
Thor hoped that Tony wouldn’t notice the way his face was surely paling. Loki
had told him things, of course, things that were private and that he wasn’t
going to tell anyone else, not least of all Tony, who had a mouth the size of a
black hole. He was faced with another of these social dilemmas that his mother
often liked to talk about, stuck between loyalty to Loki, his boyfriend, and
loyalty to Tony, one of his best friends for years. He sighed.
“What?” Tony nudged him again.
“I’m not gonna tell you stuff like that, Tony,” Thor said, feeling his happy
mood from earlier dissipate. “Not unless he tells me I can.”
“So there is stuff?” Tony asked perkily.
“Of course there is.”
“But you won’t tell me.”
“No. But if it’s any consolation, I won’t tell anyone else either.”
Tony blew out through his teeth. “Fine. I can deal with that. But at least make
him add me on Facebook so I can stalk him on there.”
“Loki doesn’t have Facebook.”
Tony stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. It took a few moments for Thor to
notice and he had to stop and backtrack.
“What do you mean, ‘he doesn’t have Facebook’?” Tony asked suspiciously.
“Everybody has Facebook these days. Everybody,” he dragged out slowly,
enunciating each syllable. “Even if you are the worst person in the world for
updating”.
Turning away again, Thor shrugged. “Loki just doesn’t. I didn’t ask why.”
“Wow,” Tony said, after a pause. “Intriguing.”
If this was a few months ago, Thor might have sympathized with him, or told him
to get the hell over it, but for some reason, he didn’t want to fight over
something that had to do with Loki. “Just drop it,” he said peacefully, and
started walking again. He didn’t have to look back to know Tony was pouting.
“I still think it all sounds suspicious!” Tony called from behind him.
Thor threw up the finger over his shoulder.
*
Thor woke up nervous the next morning. He felt the butterflies before he
remembered the reason why, and he had to drag himself out of bed. It wasn’t
that he didn’t want Loki to come around for dinner, not at all, rather that he
was worried his parents would take the whole ‘interrogation’ thing way too far.
His mom would probably be ok, but would likely shoehorn in a couple of barely-
disguised awkward questions or spend most of the time attempting to regale Loki
with embarrassing stories of Thor’s youth. His father… well, that seemed to be
most of the problem. He didn’t know how his father was going to react, and that
made things difficult. He couldn’t prematurely think up any escape routes or
outs, simply because he didn’t know what his father was going to do.
He had brought home boyfriends before. But they had meant nothing compared to
Loki, been casual relationships with a little bit of sex – ‘long-term
commitment’ was something that happened to other people. His parents hadn’t
seemed to care too much, perhaps because the “relationships” were so casual
that it might not have even been noticeable to them that their son was dating
the boy he’d brought home for dinner.
With Loki, everything was different. It still amazed Thor, every now and again,
to think how quickly his life had changed in such a short period of time. His
mother was right, he barely knew Loki – it had been what, 4, 5 weeks? – but
there was something there that he had never felt before, that simultaneously
scared and excited him. He figured he was too young and naïve yet to know what
love was, but if he ever had to describe it, he thought that maybe, just maybe,
he’d be able to make a pretty good go of it.
So as he changed and showered and brushed his teeth, he tried not to overthink,
tried not to imagine disastrous scenarios that all ended with his father
yelling at him and Loki fleeing in tears.
Let no-one say he didn’t have a decent imagination.
*
He went out of his way to walk Loki to school again, holding his hand and not
giving a damn about the strange looks they sometimes got from other pedestrians
or drivers going by. Loki didn’t seem as nervous as he about dinner that night,
and if he noticed Thor’s anxiousness, he didn’t say. It didn’t take for most of
that anxiousness to abate, because it was hard to be strung out with Loki’s
soft smile that was just for him, and the gentle brush of his finger over his
palm as they held hands.
By the time they made it to school, Thor had managed to relax a little. So
relaxed that he didn’t even tense up as he asked Loki if he wanted to come
straight round after school or if he had to go home. He was very proud of
himself.
“I have to go feed Briana, but after that I can come around whenever,” Loki
said, speaking softly so they weren’t overheard. “You can come with me? Only if
you like,” he added, biting his lip as if he wanted Thor to say yes but didn’t
want to make him think he had to.
It didn’t matter though. “Yes,” Thor said, before Loki could add anything else.
“I want to see her again.”
Loki’s face lit up like a fireworks display. “Great,” he said, almost
breathless, so pleased that Thor could see how hard he was trying not to grin
like the Cheshire Cat. “That’s awesome.”
Really not caring that they were still standing outside of school and the bell
had gone so students were everywhere, walking to homeroom, Thor bent down and
felt that grin against his lips as they kissed.
*
Thor had never seen Tony as worried and as anxious as he was when he and Loki
found the others later that day. Steve was huddled close to Tony, looking
concerned, but Tony was in his I can’t talk to anyone right now mood and Thor
knew not even Steve could help right then – because it was about Steve – and
then he was back being one of Tony’s closest friends again, making up an excuse
(that didn’t fly, but Loki and Steve let them go without a question, because
they were pretty awesome sometimes) to drag Tony out of there and around the
corner, where he promptly reassured Tony that his lips were sealed and he
hadn’t even told Loki. And, as he pointed out to Tony, he was kinda getting
into the habit of telling Loki everything.
Tony just about died with relief right next to that wall and Thor was worried
for a moment he’d have to do CPR.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have doubted you, but I kinda had this dream and…”
Tony’s hands were on his knees, and he was looking at the floor, not at Thor,
but he’d been through this enough with Tony to know not to press him.
“I’m not gonna tell, Tony. Besides, how many things do you know about me that
you could tell Loki and embarrass the hell out of me?” Thor asked, hoping
terribly that a bit of humor could help, because he wasn’t as good at these
sorts of things as he’d like.
It seemed to work though, because Tony straightened up and gave him a shaky
smile, and Thor could see the relief etched in his eyes.
“You’re right,” Tony said, and each word sounded a little stronger, a little
less wobbly. “I could completely tell him about the time you used to drag that
purple dinosaur toy of yours around and –“
Thor clobbered him on the back of the head. “No, Tony. Bad Tony,” he said,
nearly pointing a finger. “We said we would never talk about that in public.”
“Then you’ll be good to remember that,” Tony said with a wink, and pushed past
him and back to the others.
“Thor hit me,” he could hear Tony say to them.
“Good,” Tasha said.
*
Loki practically dragged him home after school, but Thor didn’t protest, just
followed dutifully and smiled. He was glad that Loki didn’t seem worried about
dinner, though for a brief second he wondered about warning him just in case.
After weighing up the case for and against, he decided that he really didn’t
want to put Loki off. And his mother had promised, just that morning, to make
sure that his dad behaved. She had made no such promises of her own, however…
Thor had been to Loki’s house enough times now to feel a little at home when he
walked through the door. Neither Farbauti nor Laufey were home from work yet,
and they wouldn’t be for a while, but Ane had been baking spice cookies and
they were cooling on the bench, making Thor’s mouth water almost embarrassingly
quickly. He had to swallow before it betrayed him and exited down his chin
instead.
Much to his surprise he got a hug from Ane straight after Loki, and though this
would normally be cause for mortification – getting a hug from someone else’s
grandparent when you barely knew your own? – he found himself smiling instead
and returning it.
“Du er så høye,” she murmured, giving him a smile as she climbed down from the
edge of her tippy toes and bustled through to the kitchen.
Thor must have looked confused because Loki grinned and leaned in close to him.
“She said you’re too tall,” he whispered, and gave Thor a sharp pat on his hip.
All Thor could do was grin sheepishly and mumble a ‘thanks’ as a plate full of
cookies was shoved in front of him.
*
Briana was entertaining herself in a bouncer in the living room, securely
strapped in as she laughed at and batted at the soft animals strung up on the
toy bar in front of her.
“Best thing we ever bought,” Loki muttered under his breath at Thor.
“Entertains her for hours. She can have a screaming tantrum but stops as soon
as we put her on.”
“The screaming tantrums sound like fun,” Thor said, inwardly cringing. He knew
that Briana couldn’t possibly be an angel all of the time. Well, apart from the
times when she liked to shove her hand in his face or pull on his hair. Or
stand on his groin. That was fun.
“You have noooo idea…” The look on Loki’s face told Thor everything he needed
to know. This house probably wasn’t the best place to be when Briana decided
that things weren’t going her way.
She looked gorgeous and sweet right now though, bursting into a huge smile as
Loki sat down next to her. Thor recognised the dress she was wearing as the
pink-striped sundress he’d bought for her earlier that week, and he was glad to
see that she fit it so well, with a little room left over for growth. She was
wearing a yellow headband too, one of the ones Loki had chosen.
“How does she do it?” Thor asked, as he knelt down to sit next to Loki.
“Huh? Who?” Loki asked, a little absentmindedly as he played with Briana.
“Your grandmother. Ane. The house is perfectly clean, the baby is too, there
are cookies on the bench. It’s like something out of Good Housekeeping.” He
paused for a moment. “My mom said that when I was a baby, she would be at home
all day with me and going nuts because I would be screaming and the house was a
mess and she hadn’t done the washing and dad expected dinner on the table when
he got home and she could never get anything done.”
Loki laughed softly. “I don’t know how she does it, really,” he said, looking
up at Thor. Briana’s fingers were wrapped tightly around his hand. “My mom just
says she had lots of practice. My mom helps out too, so do I, and my dad. We
share it all, I guess. Plus Briana can be pretty good. She can sit in here for
a few hours pretty happily. But yeah,” he said, and sighed, “There’s no way I
could be doing all of this on my own.”
Thor’s hand reached under Loki’s shirt to rub his hip. “You have an amazing
family,” he whispered, and leaned forward to kiss Loki’s cheek. Briana was
watching and giggled, making Loki smile.
“Yeah, yeah I do,” Loki murmured, and slid a hand up onto Thor’s shoulder. “I
have a pretty amazing boyfriend too.”
“He’s more than amazing, I think,” Thor mused. “He’s incredibly good looking,
smart, nice, pretty good at just about everything, I even heard that –”
Loki grinned and shut him up with a kiss. “Idiot,” he murmured quietly against
Thor’s lips.
“Not according to my mother,” Thor said cheekily.
Loki pressed his lips together as he tried not to laugh, and shook his head.
“Come on. I need to change her before I feed her.”
“Uh… diaper… change?” Thor asked tentatively.
“Diaper change,” Loki said firmly. He stood up and bent over the bouncer,
undoing the straps that stopped Briana from bouncing right out. She cooed and
held out her arms so Loki could grasp her, and he lifted her gently and pressed
her against his shoulder. From behind him, Thor saw her face peer at him over
Loki’s shoulder, and as he watched she screwed her face up at him. He resisted
the urge to poke out his tongue.
“I’m just gonna change her, Mor-mor!” Loki called out. Ane replied in Norwegian
from somewhere in the house, probably busying herself with more chores.
Thor followed Loki down the hallway and into the nursery.
“Have you ever looked after a baby before?” Loki asked as he lay Briana down on
the changing table.
Thor shook his head. “Never changed a diaper, if that’s what you mean.”
He couldn’t be sure about it, but just for a split second, Loki’s grin looked a
little wicked. He shifted from one foot to the other, suddenly quite sure that
he was about to get a lesson.
Loki didn’t disappoint him. “I won’t make you do everything. Just watch and
learn,” he said, probably thinking he was being reassuring while Thor was
practically quaking in his boots. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for this part
of looking after a baby.
Briana seemed perfectly happy, and lay there kicking up her feet as Loki tried
to settle her so he could pull down the little yellow shorts that covered her
diaper. She squealed at Loki a few times before he won and she gave in.
Loki was efficient. Thor thought that was the best way to describe it. He had
the diaper off and Briana wiped practically before he could blink, and then
there was nappy rash cream and powder and then suddenly Briana was in a fresh
new diaper and cooing and clapping her hands and Loki had finished.
“What… just happened?” Thor asked slowly.
Loki looked confused. “What do you mean? Which part?”
“The whole part.”
Loki rolled his eyes. “Next time, would you like me to go slower?” He smirked.
“You’re like a one-man production line.”
“Yeah, well, lots of practice.”
“You aren’t expecting me to do it like that, are you?”
“I’ll give you one or two goes before I expect that,” Loki said, hardly
reassuring him. “I’ll even give you extra points if you have to deal with an
explosion.”
“Expl… what?!”
The grin he got in return was practically diabolical. “All it takes is for her
to eat one thing she doesn’t like.”
Thor paled. “I didn’t sign up for this.”
“Oh, I think you did! Here.” Loki picked up Briana and held her out to Thor,
who took her carefully. “I’m just going to wash my hands.”
Thor nodded, concentrating too hard on not dropping her – he didn’t think that
would go down so well – to even open his mouth. She peered at him open mouthed,
as if slightly in shock, not sure why it needed to be Thor that held her. He
thought she was being rather picky.
“Mommy’ll be back. I promise, you won’t be stuck with me forever,” he
whispered, though it seemed to do little to ease her fears. She looked just as
suspicious as ever. He rocked her gently, almost too scared to actually move,
but the longer he held her the easier it all became. He started walking quietly
to the bedroom, grateful that Loki had at least left the door open so he didn’t
have to multi-task.
He felt damp spread through his shirt and turned to see her drool onto his
shoulder, her face bright and innocent. He narrowed his eyes. “I know what
you’re doing. You can’t fool me.”
“Are you threatening my baby?” Loki asked mildly, as he walked into the
bedroom. He may have spoken softly but Thor was under no illusions that Loki
would probably have no problems with slightly maiming or perhaps even killing
anyone who hurt his baby.
“No,” he said quickly. “She’s drooling on my shoulder.”
Loki made a face. “Sorry, I should have given you a cloth. She does that.” He
closed the door behind him and climbed onto the bed. “Can you hold her for two
more seconds?”
“Sure,” Thor agreed. He hoisted her up tighter on his shoulder. “One… two!”
Loki gave him a faux exasperated look and pretended to throw a pillow at him.
Thor laughed and moved quickly, making Briana squeal with delight.
“Oh, you like that?” Thor practically cooed at her, just about making him stop
with the realisation that he’d finally succumbed to near-baby language. He
didn’t think he would descend to motherese or baby-talk, but it was a slippery
slope from here, wasn’t it?
On the bed, Loki had his shirt off and was reclining against the pillows, one
arm out for Briana. Thor lowered her gently, but she figured out what was
happened about halfway through the procedure and just about tried to leap out
of his arms.
“She’s feisty.”
“Feeding time’ll do that to a baby,” Loki mused, stroking her head as he made
sure she’d latched on properly. “Bet you were like that too,” he teased,
looking up at Thor with a grin.
“Me?” Thor asked, pretending to be shocked. He climbed onto the bed next to
Loki. “I was a perfect angel.”
Loki snorted. “I’m sure,” he said, and nodded, his grin threatening to split
his face in half. “I’ve seen you eat.”
“Hey, how I eat today is no indicator of how I ate as a baby!”
“Isn’t it? I’ll ask your mother,” Loki threatened.
“You do that,” Thor grumbled. “I bet she’ll tell you everything.”
“I can’t wait!”
They were silent for a few moments – Loki staring at Briana, who had her eyes
closed, and Thor staring at Loki.
“I won’t ask her anything embarrassing, I promise,” Loki said quietly, still
looking down at Briana. “I know what that’s like.” He finally looked up at
Thor.
“It’s ok,” Thor said after a moment. Now that Loki had said that he wouldn’t
ask anything embarrassing, he felt a little guilty about thinking that Loki and
his mom would spend the whole meal talking about him. He shifted closer to
Loki, until they were touching, and felt Loki move back into him until he was
resting against him, not the pillows. Thor’s arms went around him protectively.
Loki sighed quietly in his arms. “How was the movie?” he asked. “I forgot to
ask you today.”
Thor smiled at the memory. “It was good. As it is every time we’ve seen it. It
was good to spend some time with Tony. Missed you though,” he added, because he
didn’t want Loki to think he hadn’t wanted to be with him instead.
As usual though, Loki seemed to understand what he was thinking. He leaned his
head back until it rested in the crook of Thor’s neck. “Don’t overthink it,” he
said to Thor. “I’m not the jealous type, and I’m hardly going to be jealous of
you hanging out with Tony when I know that Tony is madly and over-the-top in
love with Steve.”
Thor smiled and rested his head against Loki’s. “Speaking of Tony and Steve… I…
may have said something about him and Steve…”
“Ohhhh….” Loki said, rather intrigued. “And what did he say?”
“I think he was a little shocked that someone had even noticed. He asked me not
to say anything to anyone.”
“Shocked that people had noticed Is he serious? Has he noticed that none of us
are blind?”
Thor chuckled. “Well, I did tell him that me and you saw them kissing. Oh, and
Tasha knows.”
“Oh god Tasha knows? This is better than daytime TV! Did you tell her or
something?”
“No. She saw it too. She asked me about it on Sunday when we had lunch.”
Loki blew through his lips. “I didn’t see her.”
“Neither did I. She was being sneaky again, I think.”
“She scares me when she does that.”
“I know what you mean.”
They were both silent for a moment, until Loki spoke up again. “So we aren’t
talking about Steve and Tony right? In public, I mean.”
“Yeah. I think he’s worried Steve is gonna get freaked out by everything.”
Loki snorted. “If he wants something to be shocked by, I can tell him a story,”
he said dryly.
Thor chuckled into Loki’s hair. “Speaking of which… Tony was practically
begging for me to dish dirt on you.”
“And did you?” Loki asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah. I told him you snore and you never wash your underwear.”
Loki coughed and spluttered into his elbow as he tried hard not to disturb
Briana. Thor could feel him shaking as he laughed silently, mouth split into a
wide grin.
“If you weren’t kidding I’m not sleeping with you for the rest of the year.”
Thor winced. “Ouch. But yes, kidding. Seriously… I didn’t tell him anything.”
He reached forward and kissed the lobe of Loki’s ear. “Though he really wanted
to know why you don’t have a Facebook profile. He wanted to stalk you.”
Loki was silent for a moment, until Thor heard him sigh. “You know, that’s
pretty much why I deactivated it in the first place.”
Thor bit his lip. He remembered that Loki and his family had had to move from
Anchorage for a reason. His arms tightened automatically around Loki. “I’m
sorry.”
Loki shrugged, but Thor could tell from the way his face had tensed up that it
meant a lot more than what Loki was letting on. “It’s no big deal.” His voice
sounded strained.
“Really?” Thor asked, very quietly.
Loki shrugged again, but it seemed like all the life had gone out of him. Thor
regretted even bringing up the subject; it seemed like it was dredging up bad
memories.
“It’s stupid,” Loki said eventually, busying himself with moving Briana to his
other breast. “It was just a bunch of idiots from my high school who had
nothing better to do than tell everyone what I was up to. I blocked them but I
guess other people started doing it too.”
“Nothing much to do in Anchorage huh?”
“You’d think not. Apparently I was fascinating.”
“Well, I find you pretty fascinating…” Thor mused.
Loki’s brief but bright smile was worth it, just for a moment. “You don’t tell
all your friends that you think I’m a slut behind my back. You know what the
stupid thing is? Half of those people spent most of the time sleeping their way
through our year. I slept with James. And they were calling me a slut?” Loki
was breathing hard now, his jaw tense and eyes furious. “They all thought it
was fucking awesome. I kick their ass in class because most of them can’t spell
their own name and then I get knocked up, they all thought it was hilarious,
like I deserved it for being smarter than most of them.” He took a deep, shaky
breath, and Thor could feel him trembling, perhaps with anger. It scared him.
“Loki… it’s ok, they don’t matter anymore. They aren’t here,” he said, trying
to reassure him while trying to quell the feeling in his chest that he just
didn’t know what he could do or say to help. He clung to Loki, as if he was
trying to ground him, bring him back to the reality that they were in now,
where Thor would make sure that wouldn’t happen, not in a million years. But
Loki was reliving the memories that forced him and his family away from
Anchorage, and no matter what, Thor couldn’t change what he’d been through.
He didn’t like it.
He wanted to help, to be the one that held him until all the bad memories were
gone, but he knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that it wasn’t going to
be that easy. Sometimes, it seemed like nothing ever was.
Loki was sighing into his chest, shoulders heaving, body hard and tense. Briana
pulled off with a wail, grumpy, and Loki pulled away like he’d been shot.
“Oh god sorry baby…” Loki said, and Thor could hear the veiled frustration in
his voice. Loki settled her again and straightened against Thor, trying not to
disturb her again. “I’m sorry,” he said after a pause. “You didn’t come here to
listen to me whine about my issues.” He spat the last word out like he’d had it
used against him before.
Thor shook his head before he realized that Loki couldn’t see him. “You think I
care? You can say what you want, it doesn’t bother me.”
Loki sagged against him. “You’re way too patient.”
“Now that I know my mother would disagree with.”
“So you’re only patient around me?” Loki teased gently.
Thor blushed and was pleased that Loki couldn’t his face. “Well, I dunno if I’d
say that, but…”
“But the rest of the time you’re a typical teenager?”
“You’ve gotten the typical teenager talk before haven’t you?”
“Many times Thor, many times.”
“Good times,” Thor joked, and he felt Loki shaking with laughter against his
chest.
“It’s my mother’s favorite ammunition against me sometimes,” Loki said, and
Thor could hear the fond smile in his voice. “She likes to tell me I’m adopted
sometimes.”
“Really?” Thor asked. “Are you sure you aren’t?” he teased.
“I think she’d like me to be adopted some days, but unfortunately for her, the
10 billion and one tests they’ve done on me came to the conclusion that I was
indeed her son and hadn’t been swapped at the hospital at birth or something.”
“Too bad huh,” Thor said, not meaning a word.
“I know right.” With that, Briana declared she’d had enough and pulled off,
screwing up her face. “Ok, lunch is over then,” Loki said, and laid her down on
his lap. “She looks so pretty in that dress.”
“Told you,” Thor said somewhat triumphantly in his ear.
“Yeah yeah,” Loki said, and Thor could just about see him rolling his eyes.
“The Almighty Thor,” he said teasingly, and pulled his shirt back on. He bent
down to pull up Briana’s dress and blew a raspberry on her tummy, making her
squeal.
“What are you doing to that child?” came a voice from the doorway.
Loki didn’t look up, but Thor turned his head automatically. Farbauti was
leaning against the door jamb, one hand on her hip and the other on the door.
“I tell you what, you spoil that girl.”
“Not nearly as much as you spoil her!” Loki pointed out, before blowing another
raspberry.
Farbauti smiled. “I’m her grandmother, that’s my job. In fact, I’m fairly sure
it’s required by law.” She walked into the room and sat next to them on the
bed. “Hey gorgeous girl,” she said, stroking back Briana’s hair and
reorganizing her head band. “What time are you two out of here?” she asked.
“Can’t wait to get rid of us?” Loki asked, before smiling and tucking his head
into her shoulder.
“Exactly,” she teased, and kissed Loki’s hair. “No, actually, your father is
taking me out to dinner. Mor Mor gets babysitting duty. She said something
about having an Antiques Roadshow marathon with Briana.”
“She’ll love it,” Loki said, completely serious.
“That she will.”
Briana gurgled, looking up at her rapturous audience with a big smile. “You
love attention, don’t you?” Loki mused, and ran a finger down her chest to her
bellybutton. “The more the better.”
“Reminds me of a baby I knew years ago,” Farbauti said, and her teasing tone
made Loki go bright red.
“Mom!”
“Yeah yeah, I know. No embarrassing stories.” She stood up. “We’re going to the
movies first, so we’re leaving in about 10 minutes. Mor Mor’s television
marathon starts about then too.” She kissed Loki on the cheek. “If we don’t see
you before we leave, have fun tonight, and good luck,” she said with a wink.
Loki flushed again. “Yeah mom. We will.”
“Bye Thor, good to see you again,” she said, and bent down to give him a kiss
on the cheek, which left Thor both somewhat delighted and just as red as Loki.
“And byebye baby.” She picked up Briana for one last hug. “Actually, maybe we
should just take her with us.”
“And what, make her watch something with violence in it? I don’t think so!”
Farbauti laughed. “Your father doesn’t know it yet, but this movie isn’t going
to have any violence in it. He’ll be terribly disappointed but put up with it
anyway, I’m sure.”
Loki went to take her back, but Ane, who turned up suddenly, swooped in
instead. “I think we have a date with the television. If that’s ok with you,
Loki?” she asked, one eyebrow raised, one hand around Briana’s hip.
“You’re all going to ruin my daughter with your television shows and movies,
aren’t you?” Loki said, eyes narrowed. “You always told me if I watched too
much television I’d get square eyes!”
Farbauti and Ane both laughed. “And it’s happened Loki, can’t you see it?”
Farbauti teased, handing over Briana to Ane. “They’re not as oval in the
corners as they should be.”
Loki settled for poking out his tongue. Thor would never have dreamt of doing
that to his mother in a million years, but Farbauti and Ane took it in good
humor and laughed happily, and it all served to remind Thor of just how
different their families were. He hadn’t expected them to be the same, not at
all, but this sort of easy teasing and banter just didn’t happen in his house.
It was… nice.
And then he and Loki were alone. “Not hard to find babysitters around here, is
it?” Thor said as Loki sat back down.
“No,” Loki said, and laughed. “Though just after she was born, til she was
about 6 weeks old, she was a little terror. She’d be up 6 times a night,
screaming her head off. Mom and Dad and Mor Mor would take turns with her so I
could get some sleep. It was really hard for a while,” he said, drifting off
into silence.
Thor let him be for a minute, and then snuck his arm around his waist and
squeezed. It made Loki break out into a small smile. “Babies are hard work.”
Thor swept a lock of Loki’s hair back over his ear. “But it was worth it?” he
asked.
It took Loki a few moments to reply. “Every minute,” he said, turning to Thor
with a smile. “Even when she was born. I thought at the time I would never want
to do it again, but…”
Thor felt something in his stomach clench. “But?”
“But… one day. I think I’d like more. You?” Loki asked, butting his head
against Thor’s.
“I haven’t really thought about it,” Thor confessed, and it was true. He hadn’t
really. Babies had always seemed such a long way away, if he had any at all.
His bucket list didn’t exactly have Babies written at the top. Or anywhere in
the Top 20, at least.
Loki didn’t probe him anymore, which Thor was semi-grateful for. He didn’t want
Loki to think he was totally against the idea of having kids, because if they
stayed together it was highly likely Loki would like those kids to be with him,
as opposed to some other random person (the very thought got Thor’s back up).
He had opened his mouth and was just about to speak when Loki sprang up. “I’ll
be back ok, I’m just going to the bathroom.” Loki kissed the top of his head
and was out of the room before Thor could shut it again.
He didn’t think that Loki had noticed, but he figured it was a subject he was
going to have to broach again sooner rather than later. At least that gave him
a little time to think.
He sighed. The room felt so empty, considering that just 5 minutes ago it had
been full of people. And a baby. He sat for a few minutes, just looking around,
until nosiness got the better of him and he stood up to have a closer look at
Loki’s bookshelf.
It was positively crammed with books. Some of the authors and titles Thor
recognized – like Harry Potter and JRR Tolkien - and some he didn’t, like Frank
Wedekind and Geek Love, and there was an entire shelf dedicated to what look
liked every Greek play ever written. There were no comics. Thor wasn’t sure
what he felt about that. He remembered that Loki had had to leave his behind,
and he wondered if there was a cardboard box sitting somewhere in Norway with
Loki’s name on it, filled to the brim with comics. He wondered what else Loki
had had to leave behind.
On the shelves, in front of some of the books, were photos in neat white
frames. He recognized Loki’s friends – Sif, Volstagg, Hogan and Fandral – and
there were photos of his parents and Briana, and the cat that Loki had had to
leave behind in Anchorage. There were small trinkets too – a silver embossed
jewellery case, that Thor felt he shouldn’t open – he shouldn’t even really be
looking, but he was really just looking, not searching or investigating, this
was all out in the open anyway – so he passed over it, though not without a
second look. Next to the case was a small golden horse, prancing even as it
stood still, its head held proud. On the next shelf down was a tiny pair of
knitted baby boots, and Thor could tell that they had been used, and
instinctively he knew these were Briana’s first. He couldn’t help it, he picked
up one and settled it in the palm of his hand, where it hardly took up more
room than a baby mouse would.
He was still holding it when Loki opened the door and slipped through, letting
the door close behind him.
“Tiny, isn’t it,” Loki said, and if Thor felt a little guilty for holding
something he probably ought not to Loki didn’t seem to mind. “My mom knitted
them for Briana the day after she was born.”
“They’re beautiful,” Thor said, and meant it.
Loki smiled. He picked the bootie up delicately and set it back on the shelf
next to its mate. His hand settled into Thor’s. “Come,” he said softly, and
turned towards the bed.
Thor was powerless to do anything but follow. Loki pushed him down onto the
bed, and he bounced softly. Thor watched as Loki stripped off his shirt and his
pants, eventually pulling off his boxers like it was nothing.
“I need to get changed. What am I wearing?” Loki asked suddenly, and turned
away to rummage through his closet.
“Uhh… whatever you want, I guess,” Thor said, slightly tongue-tied. He had
never seen Loki like this, completely naked, because every time before this he
had insisted on leaving his shirt on. Thor could see all of him now, how his
back was long and smooth (and tempting), his hips – now that Thor could see
them properly – wide, his waist tapered, the stretch marks fading into soft
skin. And when Loki turned, facing him, Thor could see his breasts, so foreign
on such a body, but on Loki it just seemed to work; he was beautiful and Thor
was speechless.
“Pervert,” Loki said fondly, clicking his tongue and snapping Thor back to
reality.
“’Pervert’?! You’re the one standing there naked!” Thor exclaimed, throwing out
a hand in Loki’s general direction. But Loki only just smiled, a little
wickedly, and Thor sighed because he realized now that that was what Loki had
wanted. “I am not a pervert,” he said grumpily.
“Sure you’re not. Are jeans ok?” Loki asked suddenly, whirling around with a
pair of black jeans in his hand. Thor hadn’t even seen him pick them up.
“Uh yeah. My parents won’t care, honestly. You could wear a trash bag if you
like.”
“I am not wearing a trash bag Thor, honestly!” Loki sounded exasperated, but
Thor could see the smile he thought he was hiding.
“You could wear nothing?” Thor suggested tentatively.
“Uh huh. I’m sure that’d go down well.”
Thor shrugged his shoulders. “I think you look pretty good just like that.”
Loki stopped what he was doing, which appeared to be delving through the
pockets on his jeans looking for something, and blushed heavily. “Don’t be
stupid,” he muttered, his long hair drifting over his face as he lowered his
head. He turned away to toss the jeans on top of his already cluttered dresser.
“Loki…” Thor leaned forward and reached out a hand. “I meant it.” And he did.
He just wished that Loki could understand.
Loki sighed heavily. “I know, I’m sorry, I just…” He sat down on the bed next
to Thor, hands twisting nervously in his lap. “I can’t help but think of James
and what he’d…” He shook his head, as if he couldn’t finish the sentence.
“He’d what? Loki? You aren’t still concerned about what he thought, are you?”
“I can’t help it. I know, I should get over it already. It’s stupid.” Loki
huffed and blew out on the hair that still covered his face.
“Stop thinking about what he thought and about what I think… hmmm?” Thor
pointed out, grabbing Loki by the hips and hauling him up onto his lap, chest
to chest.
Loki shouted out in surprise and grabbed for Thor’s shoulders, holding on for
balance as Thor plonked him down. “Idiot!” Loki said breathlessly. “You could
have just asked.”
“This is more amusing,” Thor said, smiling at Loki with undisguised adoration.
“Hmmmph. Amusing for whom?”
“Does it matter?” Thor asked, raising an eyebrow.
Loki glared at the smirk on his face. His only reply was to pout.
“Oh. Very mature,” Thor said, his smirk now so wide it threatened to fall off
his face entirely.
“Don’t get sarcastic with me,” Loki said, and attempted to cross his arms over
his bare chest. He miscalculated the amount of room between Thor and himself
and instead, found himself out of balance and suddenly teetering perilously on
the edge of Thor’s knees. He was half a second from finding himself sprawled
embarrassingly on the ground when Thor’s arms plucked him out of the air and
landed him more securely on Thor’s lap.
“Now, will you stop moving?” Thor asked, his words implying he was exasperated
but his tone saying everything but.
“Fine,” Loki said petulantly, but then smiled. “My hero.” It was his turn to
smirk.
Thor settled for rolling his eyes. He had a lapful of very naked Loki, and he
intended to use it to his full advantage, starting as soon as humanly possible.
He began with Loki’s hair, which fell in waves and curls over his shoulders,
loose strands drifting down across his face. It was soft against his skin as he
stroked it carefully, watching it cascade through his fingers.
“I love the color,” he said softly, almost mesmerized by how dark it was, such
a stark contrast to the soft hues of his own skin.
“Yeah?” Loki asked. His arms slid around Thor’s shoulders, hands meeting at the
back of his head, and Thor could feel gentle, rhythmic strokes and presses from
his fingers.
“Yeah…” Thor brushed Loki’s hair over his ears, the shiny strands catching the
light as they fell down his back. He followed it down to just below Loki’s
shoulder blades, where the ends drifted off, and where he could feel Loki
shifting beneath his skin. He trailed his fingers down further, over the bumps
of Loki’s spine and down around his hips, and then up to his waist, where he
touched so slow and so gentle that he could feel Loki quiver and shudder.
“Ticklish?” he whispered into Loki’s ear, not ceasing his touch.
Loki just gasped and gripped Thor’s shoulders, his back tensing as he arched,
and then Thor’s lap was enclosed in the vice that was Loki’s thighs as his legs
clamped together, body taut and firm around him.
Thor chuckled and didn’t stop, watching Loki’s face as it contorted into
something that seemed to be a confusing mix of pain and pleasure, caught
between asking him to stop and telling him to keep going. Loki’s teeth bit into
his red lips, his green eyes hidden between closed lids, and Thor could see his
dark lashes twining against his alabaster skin. He was beautiful.
Then Loki was gasping into his ear and shifting on his lap, and Thor realized
he’d lost concentration, had started gripping too hard and Loki’s skin was
turning white.
“Sorry,” he murmured, and brought Loki forward for a chaste kiss, the apology
drifting across his bitten lips.
“Just make it worth it,” Loki whispered into his ear, and Thor felt his hands
roaming down his back and under his shirt to glide over his skin.
“I can do that.” Thor slid his hands down to Loki’s ass, gripping him with both
hands, spreading his cheeks apart and massaging, fingers digging into the soft
skin. He kissed Loki hard, tongue running over the divots in Loki’s lip, just
feeling, and Loki kissed back, eager, his hands clutching at Thor’s back.
Thor let his fingers drift down and pass over Loki’s entrance, making him
shudder and break the kiss to sigh and collapse into his shoulder. He passed
over it again, leaning down to suckle Loki’s neck as he probed at the clenching
hole. Loki was soft and pliant in his arms as he leant his body weight on Thor,
giving in to the pleasure that Thor was inflicting on him.
Thor kissed his neck as if in gentle apology before sliding a hand up to suck
on a finger, making sure it was well covered in spit before he reached back
down to rub Loki’s hole again. It slid easily over the puckered skin, and he
could feel Loki relax as he rubbed his entrance, the pad of his finger catching
every now and again and making Loki shudder.
“Uhhh…” Loki breathed and gasped into Thor’s shoulder, his chest heaving as
Thor slid in to the first knuckle, probing gently before twisting and sliding
his finger out. He did it again, making Loki groan and jerk his hips, and soon
they were lost in their own rhythm, Loki rocking backwards and forwards on
Thor’s lap as Thor fingered him, pushing in his finger as far as it would go.
Loki was tight and hot around his finger, clenching as he pulled his finger out
and fluttering open as he pushed it back in. It made everything seem heady,
like he was dazed, only able to concentrate on this, and on Loki, who was
trembling in his arms.
“More,” Loki gasped, and turned his head back in to Thor’s chest.
There was only so many things Thor could do with a little bit of spit so he
pulled his finger out and rested his hands on Loki’s hips again, holding him
securely as he attempted to shuffle around the bed to the bedside table. Loki
raised his head and gave him a confused glare as he felt them stand up.
“Lube,” Thor managed, very conscious that his erection seemed to be poking Loki
in a rather uncomfortable place. It wasn’t that comfortable for him either.
Loki looked satisfied at the answer and laid his head down again, but then
wriggled his hips in an attempt to avoid Thor’s problem and nearly overbalanced
them completely.
“Loki!” Thor exclaimed as he tried to get his feet back under him again.
“Sorry,” Loki said, not sounding sorry at all.
Thor finally made it to the bedside table and sat down on the bed next to it,
readjusting Loki so he wasn’t hanging off the edge. But before he could bend
down to open the drawer, Loki twisted in his lap and reached for it instead. He
rummaged inside it for a moment, and Thor had to wonder just what was in it.
“Strawberry, passion fruit, or um, Pina Colada?” Loki asked from somewhere down
by the drawer. He sounded like he had a mouthful of hair, and judging from
where the mass of it was heading, he probably did.
“Uhhh… you have Pina Colada flavored lube?” Thor asked, somewhat disbelieving.
Strawberry and passion fruit didn’t surprise him, but he’d never heard of
alcoholic drink flavored lube. Maybe he needed to get out more.
“Yeah. It’s kinda nice.”
Thor floundered for a moment. Maybe they could save the fancy stuff for another
day. “Strawberry,” he said after a pause.
Loki sat up a moment later, wild hair in all directions, triumphantly clutching
a bottle of strawberry flavored lube.
“What have you got hidden in there?” Thor asked.
Loki shrugged. “Lotsa stuff. Think you’ll like most of it. But, for now, can we
get back to what we were doing?” he said, and brandished the bottle at Thor’s
face.
Thor grabbed for it and poured a decent amount onto one palm before replacing
the cap and putting it back on the bedside table. He dragged a finger through
the slippery mess before lowering his hand. Loki helped by shuffling forward a
touch and raising his hips, just a little, so their chests were pressed
together, and Thor was blatantly aware of Loki’s heart beating a mile a minute
and how he panted as he slid a finger back into him.
It was easier now, and Thor made sure to press his finger in as deeply as he
could before curling it and dragging it over Loki’s tight, hot walls. The toe-
curling keen that Loki made as he found his prostate sent electric shockwaves
to his cock and nearly made him shudder as hard as Loki.
“Like that?” Thor whispered into a mass of black hair.
Loki’s shiver was enough answer. His fingers curled into Thor’s nape, eyes
hidden behind long lashes, and Thor couldn’t do anything but watch him as a
thousand expressions of pleasure and bliss passed over his face to the rhythm
of his thrusting.
“I don’t… don’t know how you do this to me,” Loki gasped, a broken moan rising
from his throat as Thor pressed in another finger. “I never…” He keened, low
and wrecked.
“Shhh,” Thor whispered into his ear. “Just stop thinking.”
He liked this, watching Loki just fall apart because of him. He liked that he
knew Loki’s body well enough now to know just where to touch and how, and he
liked that every time they came together like this, he learned more and
discovered more and there was a sweet sweet promise of more to come.
For now, he was content to give as much to Loki as he could, and though
conscious of his erection pressing incessantly at the front of his jeans, he
was in no hurry to do anything about it. Loki’s gasps and moans as he fingered
him were so addicting they seemed to make his blood burn in his veins. And as
he slid in another finger, Loki’s entire body shuddered, like the pleasure Thor
was giving him was too much, so much that there wasn’t anywhere for it to go.
It was power, and Thor enjoyed it.
He licked gently at the curve of Loki’s neck, wrapping his lips around the skin
and sucking softly, until Loki keened low with pleasure. The fingers of his
other hand drifted up over Loki’s hip and over his chest, stuttering slightly
as he reached his breasts, unfamiliar and unsure.
“It’s ok,” Loki whispered.
Thor felt his breath catch in his chest as he let his fingers explore,
squeezing his eyes closed as if that would help. He wasn’t used to this, to the
strange contours of Loki’s body here – he was aware of the awe that many of his
fellow male classmates held for such parts of a woman’s anatomy but it was the
first time he’d done this, the first time he realized that breasts could be
part of his sexual experience. Loki was nothing if not unique.
Loki stilled on his lap as he let his hands glide over his breasts, the silence
in the room broken only by their quiet breaths. After a moment Thor realized
that his fingers had slipped out of Loki, but as he didn’t seem to mind he let
them trace the rim of Loki’s entrance and concentrated on exploring this new
territory.
“Not too hard,” Loki said suddenly as Thor squeezed the swell of his chest, and
as if he’d been caught doing something naughty he let his hand fall away. “It’s
ok,” Loki reassured. “Just… gently,” he suggested, and kissed Thor’s cheek as
if to forgive him.
“’Gently’,” Thor repeated quietly to himself, feeling a little as though he
needed some sort of a manual or guide. They were softer than he’d expected,
pliant in his hands, and Loki’s nipples responded eagerly when he ran his
fingers over them. He rubbed one with his thumb, making Loki gasp, but
remembered to be gentle and resisted the urge to do anything rougher. They were
fascinating, in a way, nothing he hadn’t seen before but this was still
different, because the nipples that Thor had been used to were found on flat
planes and hard chests, not this.
He liked it.
Cautiously, as if expecting to be told off at any minute, he lowered his head,
tongue flicking out to graze over a hardened nipple. Loki gasped, his body
jerking, but he didn’t tell him to stop so Thor did it again, but on the other
nipple this time. He palmed the swell of one breast in his hand, and lifted it,
taking the nipple into his mouth with the barest nip from his teeth.
“Careful,” Loki breathed, his body rigid, a hand stroking through Thor’s hair.
He breathed out, long and trembling, and gripped Thor’s hip harder with his
other hand.
Thor’s tongue swirled around the nipple, teasing, lips sealed to soft, plump
skin. Experimentally, he hollowed his cheeks, and Loki’s sharp gasp told him
he’d done something, though whether it was right or wrong he wasn’t sure.
Intuition told him to do it again. He pressed his tongue against Loki’s nipple
at the same time, and in between Loki’s muffled yell and sudden sharp dig into
his hip with his fingernails he felt something cool and sweet in his mouth.
It took him half a second to realize.
“I’m sorry,” he gasped as he pulled off, quite certain that Loki was going to
hit him over the head with the first thing he found. Instead, Loki was flushed,
his eyes partially veiled, mouth open, panting softly.
“Do that again.”
“What?” Thor asked, his voice embarrassingly wobbly.
“It’s ok.”
It wasn’t like he was ever going to say no. He bent down again, clasped Loki’s
breast and raised the nipple to his mouth. This time he didn’t hesitate. He
pressed his tongue to the underside of the nipple and sucked.
Nothing happened.
He tried again, this time laving the nipple with his tongue before sucking on
it.
Nothing happened again.
He pulled off in frustration, but Loki was grinning, his smile looking far too
suspiciously like a smirk for Thor’s liking. “What?!” he asked. “What am I
doing wrong?”
“You were doing it properly the first time. You have to suck more of it. Look.”
He grabbed hold of his breast. “From here.”
Thor took note, and this time, took more of the breast into his mouth. Loki’s
hand cupped the back of his mouth as he started to suck, guiding him carefully.
A burst of sweet warmth hit his tongue, filling his mouth, and he almost choked
before he remembered to swallow.
He wasn’t sure what it tasted like. It was like nothing he’d had before, and
certainly not like the cow’s milk he enjoyed drinking out of the bottle. He had
a feeling it would fill him up much more than normal milk, as if he could live
off it. He supposed that at one point in his life, he had. The strangeness of
it all wasn’t lost on him.
He pulled off after a few mouthfuls, his complete ignorance about the milk
production process making him paranoid that if he drank it all, there wouldn’t
be enough for Briana. But Loki didn’t seem to be worried, especially as he
directed Thor to the other breast, and without a word he fell on it, a little
more certain about his abilities this time.
The milk came quickly, and he found himself swallowing hurriedly as it flowed
over his tongue. He thought that this time it tasted a little nutty, like
almonds maybe, but sweet at the same time, like honey, or maybe melted ice
cream. Either way, he could see why Briana liked it.
He let go almost reluctantly.
“There’ll be more where that came from, if you liked it so much,” Loki said
teasingly, and leaned in to kiss him, licking a stray drop or two from his lip
with his tongue.
“Yeah,” Thor said breathlessly, either from the breast milk or Loki’s kiss, he
wasn’t sure. “Yeah I did.”
“Good,” Loki murmured, and the next thing that Thor was aware of was hands at
his groin, undoing his jeans, and given the lack of room he currently had in
them he wasn’t protesting. He leaned back on the bed to give Loki more
flexibility, his eyes inevitably drawn to Loki’s chest. He wasn’t sure if it
was possible to get any harder, but he was pretty sure he just did. Warmth
pooled in his groin, and it wasn’t just from the hand that Loki had suddenly
slipped around his cock.
He was pretty sure he was going to explode.
“Fuck…” he breathed, just watching as Loki bent to take him into his mouth,
breasts brushing against his still-clothed thighs, and as a tongue licked its
way down his cock he felt his entire body shudder. He was going to come
embarrassingly early, he just knew it.
Apparently, so did Loki. He pulled off suddenly, and then Thor’s lap was
completely devoid of a certain dark haired beauty. He whimpered.
Loki was at the edge of the bed, the flush on his cheeks and his swollen cock
belying the devil-may-care look on his face. He grabbed hold of Thor’s jeans
and pulled, and just in time Thor lifted his hips to help. A second later the
jeans were on the floor and Loki was on the bed, hands curled around the edge
of his shirt.
They pulled it off together, and Thor didn’t miss the look of sudden and
complete hunger on Loki’s face.
“What do you want me to do?” he asked, prepared to give Loki the moon if he
wished, though he hoped the request would center around his cock, rather than
the stars.
Loki didn’t say anything, just grasped one of Thor’s hands and pulled him up,
before lying against the pillows and tucking his feet behind Thor’s waist. Thor
found himself between Loki’s legs, but didn’t question it, just asked for a
kiss that was hungrily received and returned. Loki’s hand was still on his
wrist, and he found it dragged between them, down over Loki’s cock to his
entrance, and he slid his fingers back in without a thought.
The bite on his lip that he got in return was worth it.
“You like?” he whispered against Loki’s mouth, and punctuated it with a kiss.
Loki just gasped in reply.
He fumbled around on the bed for the lube, not sure where in the hell it had
made off to, until his rhythm fumbled and Loki’s eyes were wide and glaring at
him.
“Sorry,” he said sheepishly, and temporarily slid his fingers out as he
continued searching.
“There’s more in the drawer, we can find the other one later,” Loki said, his
voice hoarse.
Thor bent over the bed to search through Loki’s cache. There was more lube, of
which he grabbed a tube, as well as boxes of condoms – most unopened – and a
variety of sex toys. He was just about to sit back up again when he hesitated,
and reached for one. It was red with a gold dial at its base, and no thicker
than three of his fingers. He pulled it out of the drawer and held it up.
Loki opened his mouth to say something but stopped when he saw the toy. His
eyebrow went up instead.
“What?” Thor asked with a grin. He flicked open the cap of the lube and poured
a generous amount onto the end of the vibrator. He wriggled it suggestively at
Loki, who huffed and rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless, and slid down a
little further on the bed and spread his legs even more so that Thor could not
have been in doubt about his state of acquiesce.
Loki was already loose and relaxed from Thor’s fingers and took the end of the
vibrator easily, opening up to take the rest with a little pressure. Thor
watched as it slid in, careful not to push too far too fast. When it was
sheathed within Loki he let it sit there, just looking, until he raised a
finger to trace where Loki had opened to let it in.
“Stop teasing,” Loki said, and without looking Thor knew he was pouting.
He kissed Loki’s thigh in apology. “Ok then.” He ran his finger over the dial,
and carefully shifted it two notches to the right. It began to hum and vibrate,
and the long, low moan that Loki made left him in no doubt as to what he
thought about it. Loki was clenching so tight it was threatening to escape, so
he held it in with his finger and let the vibrations do the work as he ran his
other hand over Loki’s cock. It was impossibly hard and leaking all over his
stomach, and Thor made use of the excess fluid as he fisted him slowly. Loki
shuddered and arched his back from the mattress, hands twisted in a death grip
on the sheets.
“Thor!” Loki gasped, mouth open in a silent scream. Thor knew him well enough
by now to know exactly what was going to happen next, and though for a brief
moment he thought about torturing him and removing his hand, he settled back on
his heels and watched instead.
Loki’s body tensed, from his bare throat to his toes that curled impossibly
inwards, stomach muscles rippling under his skin. He let out a choked gasp as
he tried to stop himself from screaming, his teeth biting so hard into his lip
it was nearly white. Thor felt the vibrator slip out, and then warmth on his
hand, and looked down to see white strips of come painting his hand and
dripping down his fingers to dot Loki’s skin below. He watched as more oozed
out, and gripped with a sudden desire to taste it on his tongue, bent and took
Loki into his mouth.
Loki shuddered and whimpered, a hand suddenly in his hair. He sucked, hoping
for more, and was rewarded with another burst of come that coated his tongue.
He swirled it around his mouth, teasing at the underside of Loki’s cock in
hopes of procuring more, but it seemed he was done and Thor settled for
swallowing what he had. Loki’s body relaxed beneath him as he came down from
his high, and Thor could hear his short, soft gasps.
He pulled off, quite taken with how wet and shiny Loki’s cock appeared to be.
It served to remind him, however, of his own pressing need.
“Baby?” he asked, looking up to see Loki laying back with a hand over his eyes,
his chest heaving as he caught his breath. Loki seemed as though he could
barely move, but then he raised his hand and pointed slowly at the drawer.
“Condom,” he said languidly, and opened his eyes to smile slowly down at Thor.
“We’re hardly finished, are we?”
Thor nearly fell off the bed in his hurry. He pulled a tissue from the box on
the bedside table to wipe his hand clean before pulling a condom from one of
the open boxes in the drawer. He opened it without preamble and sat back to
slide it on. The lube was next to Loki’s thigh and he spurted a teaspoon or so
onto his cock before throwing it out of his way.
Loki chuckled at this. “In a hurry, are we?” he teased, spreading his legs for
Thor.
“Something like that.” Thor found the vibrator between Loki’s spread thighs and
threw that away too, a sudden thump indicating that he’d managed to toss it
onto the floor. He ignored it in favor of something far more interesting.
He slid in easily, as Loki was still open from the toy. It was heaven, pure
heaven, and he practically sighed with relief as Loki tightened around him.
“What are you waiting for?” Loki asked, a smile on his lips. Thor growled and
jerked his hips forward, slamming into Loki. The smile was replaced with a look
of pure pleasure, and Thor reveled in it, watching Loki’s face as he thrust
into him again and again.
He wasn’t going to last. He knew that from the moment he rolled the condom on
and nearly came from his own touch alone. He bent down and captured Loki’s
lips, kissing him for all he was worth, snapping his hips into Loki’s and
feeling it build and build, until it seemed to surround him, prickling at his
skin.
It thundered over him and stole his breath, his body no longer his own to
control. Loki was whispering something in his ear, his hands sweeping over his
biceps, but it all seemed far away, like he was outside his body, connected
only by a base feel. He was somewhere else, even if he was still within Loki’s
arms, and it was bliss, it was utter relief and lust and love rolled into one
explosive moment.
Then Loki was hitting him with an open hand, calling his name, and all Thor
could do was groan weakly and raise his head, just a little.
“Thor? You’re very heavy.”
“Wha? Oh.” He gathered his senses and rolled off Loki, feeling himself slip
out. His body felt heavy and languid, like he’d need a week just to recover.
But then Loki was snuggling up against him, one leg over his hips, an arm over
his chest. He could sleep now, with Loki right there, and it would be lovely,
it would be perfect. He closed his eyes.
“Don’t we have to be at your house in half an hour?”
Nothing had ever woken Thor faster.
Chapter End Notes
     I have a favour to ask of American readers - I have done some
     googling but it has FAILED me (gasp!). Thor and Loki and their
     friends are in the second to last year of high school (erm, I think,
     anyway.... :O). I think this is junior year? They are approaching
     summer, maybe a couple of months away yet (I left my timeline at home
     :/). Would they typically be preparing for end of year exams or tests
     or anything? I understand that each state is probably different and I
     have deliberately not stated which state they are in (both cos I have
     no idea and because it makes it easier to pinch things from
     everywhere else!) but if anyone could help me out with what the end
     of this particular year will bring I will be forever grateful! Thank
     you :)
***** Chapter 19 *****
Chapter Notes
     PHEW! I once again find myself posting a chapter with an apology for
     the sheer length of time it's taken to get this updated...... I am so
     sorry!! :( Here I was thinking that I had summer to really get into
     this fic, and get it moving again, and also work on several other
     fics (that had taken residence in my brain and refused to leave until
     I wrote them down) and then BAM life just laughs at me and kills my
     laptop. Cos, you know, that would have been just too good an
     opportunity.
     But my laptop has been resurrected! Yay! I can stop being bitter and
     resentful! Double yay! I should really make sure my happiness doesn't
     revolve around my access to the internet, but that sounds like too
     much hard work.
     A couple of quick notes on this chapter: I totally pulled Laufey's
     last name from a google search for Norwegian last names. I wanted
     Thor to be 'Thor Odinson' and Loki 'Loki Laufeyson' as they identify
     themselves in the MU but that left me with a small problem as I
     couldn't find Laufey's heritage or how that works or anything (if
     anyone can enlighten me, I offer many virtual hugs!).
     Also, Odin and Frigga are now just referred to as 'Odin' and
     'Frigga'. Groundbreaking, I know, but as this fic is written mostly
     from Thor's POV I was finding it really tiring to just write 'his
     father' or 'his mother' all the time. Hope that's ok.
     AND I have succumbed to the world of Tumblr. I'll mainly be using it
     as a forum to post updates about my fics (both already posted and in
     progress and those that haven't made it to the big wide world yet)
     and share random stuff (Loki, TH, Johnny Weir, Andrej Pejic). I might
     also be accepting prompts if you are interested. In the very near
     future I'll introduce the fics that I'm working on and a couple of
     other things. My tumblr is http://wicked-writings.tumblr.com/. Please
     excuse the fact that I'm a technophobe (I still have a flip phone)
     and I don't quite get how these things work just yet.... :D
Thor swore and scrambled out of bed, nearly falling over, and Loki thought it
was so hilarious he rolled around on the bed laughing for several minutes
before he could even sit up. While Loki was otherwise occupied, he got rid of
the condom in a tissue and hopped into his jeans, and then out of them again
when he realized he’d forgotten his boxers. He found them under the bed and
tugged them on before pulling his jeans back on. He stood at the end of the
bed, looking at Loki, who was still lounging on the bed, still very much naked.
“It doesn’t take half an hour to walk to your place,” Loki pointed out after a
moment’s pause. “Relax.”
“I smell like sex,” Thor said, screwing up his face.
Loki surveyed him for a moment. “You look like it too. Take a shower if you
want. You know where the bathroom is.”
Thor didn’t think twice about it. Going to dinner with his parents and his
boyfriend whilst smelling (and looking, apparently) like sex was probably not
the cleverest thing he could ever do. He found his shirt and, clutching it in
one hand, climbed partway onto the bed to kiss Loki before making for the
bathroom.
“Towels are in the cabinet!” Loki called out after him as he closed the door
behind him.
The hallway was thankfully clear and free of grandmas. He could hear the TV
going in the living room, and tiptoed down to the bathroom.
He pulled a towel out from the cabinet – it was green, which reminded him of
Loki, and therefore served to issue up a mental image of a naked and fucked-out
Loki laying on his bed, at which his cock promptly twitched, whereupon he felt
like slapping his groin because now was not the time – and threw the towel on
the counter before stripping at the speed of light.
The shower was filled with a range of hair products, and he grabbed the first
one he saw marked ‘shampoo’. It smelt like almonds, and it wasn’t until he was
washing it out that he realized it must have been Loki’s. He knew that smell.
He was careful to use the matching conditioner and swathed himself in soap
before rinsing it off and reaching to turn off the water.
There was a hand on the faucet.
Thor nearly leapt three feet before he realized it was Loki’s hand.
“I’ve been standing here for a full minute, Thor.”
Thor steadied himself with a hand on the shower wall. “I could have fallen over
and killed myself.”
“Sure.” Loki shed the clothes he’d hastily chucked on and pushed Thor out of
the way to climb under the spray. “I would have mourned you.”
“Bet you would have,” Thor muttered. He thread his arms around Loki’s waist and
squeezed, making Loki squeal and drop the shampoo.
“Not helpful, Thor!”
“Not helpful? You’re the one who decided that interrupting me in the middle of
a shower was a good idea!”
“You were nearly finished,” Loki pointed out. He bent down for the shampoo and
dumped what had to be nearly half the bottle on his head. Bubbles started to
froth almost straight away, sliding down his face and over his nose. Thor was
going to say something terribly witty but burst out laughing instead. Loki
poked out his tongue and started massaging it in.
“Do you think your parents will click when they realize that our hair smells
exactly the same?” Loki asked with a straight face, his fingers combing the
shampoo through his hair.
Thor cursed.
“You didn’t think of that, did you?” Loki remarked casually, and dunked himself
under the spray. Thor watched as what seemed like half a mile of froth cascaded
down the drain.
“No,” he admitted.
“I have product you can smother your hair in,” Loki said through the water. “We
can give you a Mohawk.”
Thor laughed. “I can see that going down well.”
“I think you’d look sexy with a Mohawk!”
“I’d have to duck every time I went through a door.”
Loki shrugged. “Still sexy.”
Thor plastered himself against the wall as Loki finished his shower, trying
hard not to make it look like he was gawking.
“Stop gawking.”
“I’m not gawking!”
“Yes you are.”
“It’s not like there’s anywhere else to look!”
Loki wriggled his hips in reply.
“Not helping, Loki…”
Loki promptly bent over.
By the time they managed to finish Thor had practically had to beat back down
his erection. Loki had offered a complimentary blow job, but time restraints
forced Thor to reluctantly decline. They dried off as best as they could before
wrapping towels around themselves, and Loki peeked around the door to make sure
the coast was clear. He nodded and padded across the hall to his bedroom, and
Thor followed, holding up his towel with one hand while holding his clothes
with his other.
He closed the door behind them and let his towel drop.
“I thought you said we didn’t have enough time,” Loki said cheekily, and
squeezed Thor’s ass.
“We don’t,” Thor growled, and slapped away the hands. “Get dressed.”
“Yessir!” Loki saluted.
Even with his worry that they would be late, Thor found it hard to get dressed
himself while Loki was still parading around naked. He was, after all, rather
nice to look at. Loki stood in front of his dresser and wriggled his hips when
he saw, in the mirror, Thor staring at him.
In the end, Thor had to turn around in order to concentrate.
“You dressed?” Loki asked, bouncing on his bed. He had settled on black jeans
and a green dress shirt that made his eyes stand out. His hair was thick and
shiny and beautiful and Thor could barely resist the temptation to go another
couple of rounds.
“Yes,” he said reluctantly.
“Good.” Loki bounced himself off the bed and rummaged through the copious hair
products on his dresser. “Come here.”
Thor dutifully presented himself for hair-arranging, and Loki promptly smoothed
a palmful of something over his hair. He couldn’t feel it doing anything but it
smelt a little like mint, smothering the hint of almonds that had been
lingering ever since his shower.
“There,” Loki said proudly, and Thor had to bend slightly to look at himself in
the mirror. No Mohawk, thank goodness, but his hair did look remarkably smooth.
He ran a hand down over the strands.
“You look gorgeous,” Loki said. Thor looked back but Loki had already
disappeared, going through things on his bedside table.
“Uh, thank you?”
Loki threw him a smile over his shoulder. “Have you got everything?”
Thor grabbed his bag from the floor. “Yes.”
“Brilliant.” Loki glanced at his watch. “We have 12 minutes.”
Thor mentally judged the distance in his head. “We’ll make it. I don’t think my
mother will mind if we are 10 seconds late anyway.”
“She won’t disinherit you?”
“I’m not sure there’s much to inherit.” Thor pouted.
Loki laughed. “Yeah right. I’ve seen your house, don’t forget that.”
Thor chuckled. “I think my mother has spent most of my inheritance on Laura
Ashley.”
“If you inherit the Laura Ashley I’ll have it!” Loki said, and Thor had a
feeling he wasn’t joking either.
“Come on,” he said, chuckling, and Loki took his arm.
They stopped to say goodbye to Briana (who was fast asleep) and endure a very
much all-knowing grin from Ane, who thankfully did not say anything (it was all
in her eyes).
“Have a good time, darling,” she said, and gave Loki a hug. “Do you have your
phone? I’ll call if Briana needs you.”
Loki patted his pocket. “I have it. Thanks for looking after her.”
“Det er ok,” Ane said, and Thor was proud of himself, he was pretty certain of
what she had just said. Not that it was hard to figure out. Ane kissed him on
the cheek too, and this time Thor didn’t even blush.
*
Despite Thor’s inclination to get there sooner rather than later (the last
thing he wanted was to irritate his father, because things would surely only
get worse from then on in) the walk was pleasant and they found themselves
taking their time. Loki was still getting used to his new town and so Thor
pointed out what he could, telling Loki who lived where and everything
scandalous that he knew about them, true or otherwise.
Halfway down his street they came across one of Thor’s old neighbors. Though he
had lived in the same house his entire life, Mr Johnson (though Thor knew his
first name – Gary – calling him anything other than ‘Mister’ or ‘Mr Johnson’
just seemed wrong) and his wife had lived in the house to their right for the
first 7 years of Thor’s life. Then, when their children had moved out, they
downsized and moved to a new house further down the road. Thor had missed them.
Mrs Johnson snuck him cookies when his mother wasn’t watching and Mr Johnson
let him play in the piles of sand he always seemed to have in his backyard.
When he was older he asked his mother why they always had sand – it took him
another 4 years to figure out what a ‘landscaper’ was.
Mr Johnson was out the front of his house, sorting out bags of compost and soil
into different piles. He stopped and leaned on the side of his house as Thor
and Loki approached. Thor hadn’t seen him for a while. No matter that they
lived so close, they just always seemed to miss each other.
“Good evening, young man,” Mr Johnson said with a smile, raising a gloved hand.
He never failed to put a smile on Thor’s face as well. He reminded Thor of his
childhood, which had been rather privileged and by all accounts, very
satisfying. It was nice to see him again.
“Mr Johnson,” Thor replied, and with Loki in hand, headed up the path towards
the house.
“It’s been a while,” said Mr Johnson, and he started to pull off his gloves.
“And who’s this?”
“This is Loki, my boyfriend,” Thor said proudly, quite enjoying the warm
feeling that came from being able to introduce Loki as such.
Loki smiled shyly and raised a hand in welcome, but Mr Johnson grabbed it and
gave him a hearty handshake. “Good to meet you, lad,” he said, beaming. “Moira!
Come out here!” he hollered at the house. “It’s young Mr Odinson.”
Loki gave Thor an almost confused smile, and Thor squeezed his hand in return
and smiled back. He winked, and Loki’s smile widened, his stance becoming more
sure.
The front door opened and an older lady in a brightly printed apron came
bustling down the steps. “Thor!” she said heartily, and wrapped him in a hug so
enthusiastic Thor found his hand wrenched from Loki’s.
Thor was still recovering when she turned to Loki. “You’re new,” she said, with
the assured wisdom of a life-long resident. “Anderson Road, wasn’t it?”
Loki looked surprised, and, Thor suspected, perhaps a little unsettled. He had
forgotten to mention to Loki that the announcement of a new arrival always made
the local grapevine. Loki just nodded his head, not sure of what to say.
“That there is Thor’s boyfriend,” Mr Johnson said, with a practiced nod of his
head.
“Fabulous!” Moira said, after a quick appraisal. She flung her arms around Loki
and gave him a peck on the cheek. “Welcome to the family,” she said with a
wink.
“Uh, thanks,” Loki said, still a little shell-shocked.
“Where are you boys off too?” she asked, hands twirled in the fabric of her
apron. “I’ve just put peanut brownies in the oven.”
Thor’s mouth watered. He was rather sad that they couldn’t stay. Her cookies
were legendary. “Ohhh… we’re just on the way home for dinner.”
“Meeting the parents, aye lad?” Mr Johnson asked cheekily, with a wink at Loki.
“Something like that,” Loki replied.
“Well, we’d better not keep you,” Moira said, and Thor could see the flash of
disappointment in her face. “You two stop round here tomorrow after school and
I’ll get you some of those cookies, you hear?”
“Yes ma’am,” Thor said, not having to force his bright grin.
“Excellent,” Moira said, mollified. “Now you get going if you need to, but you
know you are welcome to stay. And you, old man, don’t go breaking your back
again with those bags!” She directed the last at her husband.
He looked almost insulted. “What are you trying to say, old lady?” he asked
indignantly.
Thor laughed. “Come on,” he said to Loki. “Let’s get home before my mother
sends out a search party.”
“You say hello to that mother of yours,” Moira said, pointing a finger at Thor.
“Tell her to stop around some time for a cup of tea.”
“I’ll do that,” Thor said. “It was good to see you again.”
“And you too, lad. And your new laddy. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said
sternly, and Thor knew they had no choice – not that he was planning on not
showing up if there were cookies involved.
Loki nodded and waved his goodbye. “Good to meet you,” he said, and Moira
beamed.
“You bring him with you, Mr Odinson!” she called after them.
Thor turned. “I couldn’t possibly not,” he said, and lifted a hand in goodbye.
“Who was that?” Loki said, still grinning, as they headed back down the
pavement.
“My old neighbors. They lived next to us for years when I young.”
“They seem really nice.”
“Yeah.” Thor paused for a moment. “I don’t really know my grandparents that
well, because they all live in Norway. I’ve only seen them a few times. I
guess, in a way, the Johnsons were my honorary grandparents.” He felt a bit
stupid saying it, but it was true. They still bought him presents for Christmas
too.
“That’s really nice,” Loki said, with a look that said that he understood,
though Thor knew that Loki had grown up with his grandparents – both sets –
around him. He squeezed Thor’s hand and made the rest of the walk in silence.
*
Thor wasn’t sure what to make of the fact that his father’s car was in the
driveway when they finally made it home. Half of him was pleased that his
father thought meeting Loki was so important that he would come home early from
work to make it in time, the other half of him was worried that he thought
meeting Loki was so important that he would come home early from work to make
sure that he could judge Loki from the minute he stepped inside.
There was a voice inside his head, though, that told him to stop being stupid
and overthinking everything – that it wasn’t going to be as bad as he was sort
of expecting. Despite everything, his parents were rational and good people,
and they weren’t going to sit there tearing Loki to shreds. He realized then
just what he had invested in this. He had brought old boyfriends home before,
but he had never been this nervous, this anxious. This was different.
“You ok?” Loki asked him, and then Thor realized he had stopped.
“Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry. Just thinking.”
“I know. They can probably hear you down the street.”
Thor smiled at that, though he didn’t realize how strained it was until Loki
pointed it out and told him to stop worrying. “I promise not to jump on the
table or ask your mother about her toilet training experience with you.”
That made Thor laugh, and he felt himself loosen up, felt some of that pent-up
anxiety disappear and his shoulders relax. “Come on then,” he said, and tugged
at Loki’s hand. “Let’s do this.”
Frigga greeted them at the door, opening it before Thor could even reach for
the door knob. He realized that his mom must have kept an eye out for them and
was glad they hadn’t indulged in any tonsil hockey practice before going up to
the house. Loki must have been thinking the same because he raised his eyebrows
at Thor and grinned.
“Hurry up, come in,” she said, giving a far bigger smile to Loki than she did
to Thor. He had that effect, Thor mused.
“Your hair looks nice, dear,” she said as he passed, and he could have sworn
she gave a tiny wink.
His father was in the living room, clearly having abandoned the day’s paper in
a hurry as it lay strewn all over the coffee table. He saw his mother scowl at
him quickly before gathering it all up and bit his inner cheek to stop from
smiling. At least he wasn’t worrying about his father’s reaction.
“Dad, um, this is Loki. Loki, this is my dad, Odin.” As far as greetings went,
and especially boyfriend-meeting-father-for-first-time greetings, it was only
slightly awkward. He gave himself a mental pat on the back.
He could see his father give Loki the once-over as he shook his hand, but Loki
was doing the same thing, and it was a male thing, so he didn’t worry.
Especially since his father hadn’t lingered over anything (clothes passed
inspection then) or scowled (no visible tattoos or piercings, no dyed hair,
CHECK). Also, Loki hadn’t balked at his father’s missing eye, which had, in the
past, sent many a child running out the door.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Loki said, sounding far more confident than Thor.
“Likewise,” Odin said, and tilted his head. Thor decided he could breathe a
little easier.
“Come sit down,” his mother said, getting in there before things got awkward
and they ended up just standing around staring at each other.
As they took their seats (Loki and Thor on the couch, Frigga in her armchair by
her knitting, Odin in his chair that no-one else ever dared to sit in) Thor
couldn’t help but notice that his mother had clearly gone a bit nuts cleaning
that day. Even the air seemed cleaner, and that was a big thing considering his
mother was a stickler for a clean house anyway. If Odin noticed, he didn’t
comment.
His mother brought out cookies and then drinks, and then they were expected to
talk, and Thor wished it all didn’t seem so formal. He couldn’t help but
remember that meeting Loki’s parents hadn’t been like this. His parents were
pretty awesome, but both had come from privilege, and so some things were
always slightly formal, no matter the circumstances. Sometimes that was good,
and sometimes that was bad.
Thor could practically sense his father suss out Loki before he began the
question and answer session. He decided that that was the point where he could
legitimately begin to get nervous. His palms were sweating, and he had to wipe
them on his jeans. His mother noticed and raised an eyebrow at him.
“So, Loki, Thor said that you were from Norway?”
Yes, Thor might have mentioned that at some point. He couldn’t remember what
else he had told his father in response to pointed remarks over dinner, and
started to panic. Just a little.
“Um, yeah. I was born there,” Loki said, and put down his glass. “In Oslo.”
Thor’s father smiled, genuinely smiled, and something inside Thor loosened.
Common ground. This was good. This was excellent.
And then he found himself shut out of a conversation that waxed lyrical about
Norway, with both Loki and Odin reminiscing and talking about places, people
and events that Thor had no idea about. He was glad that they were getting on,
and no screaming had yet taken place, and chose to sink back into the couch and
just listen instead of getting annoyed. This, after all, was infinitely better
than what his (apparently negative) mind had previously predicted.
Frigga interrupted them with a call for dinner (Thor hadn’t even notice her
disappear, but she was very light on her feet), and Thor’s stomach rumbled at
the very mention. It reminded him that he was actually rather hungry,
especially after the day’s previous, err, vigorous activity. It was also an
embarrassing loud rumble and made both his father and Loki look at him.
“…What?”
*
His mother had gone all out for dinner. Thor saw Loki’s eyes widen as they sat
down, and he felt like pointing out that they certainly didn’t eat like this
every day. Thor was sure he’d be 100 pounds overweight if they did. Also, he
was not exactly a gourmet, and wasn’t entirely sure what the main dish was,
apart from the fact that it was clearly pasta and clearly involved lashings of
cream. He had to stop himself from reaching for thirds. Nothing like impressing
the guy you brought home by overeating.
Conversation continued over dinner, and eventually widened into school and the
local area, both subjects in which Thor was well versed and could thus
contribute. He knew he didn’t need to impress Loki – he was pretty sure their
relationship was reasonably well established by now – but all the same, he
wasn’t keen on appearing completely clueless when it came to participating in
discussions that involved other people. So he interjected where he could,
trying hard not to appear like he was trying, and generally didn’t make a fool
of himself.
He was quite ready to declare the evening a success.
Of course, things never go the way you hope.
His father seemed to have taken to Loki quite well – his so-called
‘interrogation’ hadn’t really amounted to much in the end, especially since
Loki was so keen to talk with him about Norway, one of his favorite subjects.
Thor wasn’t 100% sure, but he had an inkling Loki may have encouraged him
towards that line of conversation for that exact purpose. Clever boy.
He started to notice a slight change in his father when he asked Loki who his
father worked for, and in what capacity. Thor didn’t know this either, so
perked up his ears.
“He’s worked for Jotunheim Industries for about twenty years,” Loki said.
“Mainly in shipping and freight-forwarding.”
Thor had never heard of Jotunheim Industries, but Odin clearly had. He saw his
father sit up a little straighter, a strange look passing over his face. His
business was law, so not really something that would cause him to cross
Jotunheim’s path, surely?
“And his name?” Odin asked, his lone eye squinting.
“Laufey Jenssen.” Loki didn’t hesitate in answering, but Thor could tell by the
tone of his voice that he was a little confused by the line of questioning.
But his father dropped it then, and abruptly moved onto asking about college
and what were his plans, and Loki practically lit up with interest. Thor
already knew what Loki’s college plans were – they had been somewhat thwarted
by Briana’s arrival, but he was determined to achieve some form of college
education and wouldn’t be put off by the extra demands that would be placed on
him by having a child. Of course, he didn’t mention that to Odin, just said
that he was planning on studying classical studies, though he wasn’t sure if
he’d get into an Ivy League school he was hoping to do the best he could.
That seemed to satisfy Odin immensely, and Thor did not fail to see the raised
eyebrow that was presented in his general direction. It said ‘why can’t you be
this vested in your education?’ as well as ‘I hope his attitude rubs off on
you’.
Thor winced.
He had no aspirations for college, and he knew how much that disappointed his
father. It was a constant bone of contention in their household. He just wasn’t
academically minded or gifted, no matter how much his father wished he was.
After a while, the conversation around education faded as they ran out of
things to discuss, something that Thor was not disheartened about. They had
finished their main course and his mother was bringing out dessert, something
so utterly decadent looking that Thor was sure his arteries were clogging up
just by looking at it.
“Loki, I think you need to come over for dinner more often,” Odin said,
completely straight-faced. Frigga swiped at him with a dish cloth, but that
couldn’t hide her smile.
Loki grinned and Thor was pleased to see him relaxed, and hoped his father had
ended the part of the ‘interrogation’ that had seemed a little pressing before.
He decided not to mention it and ate his dessert instead.
It turned out his father was just waiting until they had finished and the table
had been cleared to drop his bomb.
In hindsight, Thor realized that that was probably a good thing.
They were still around the table, nursing hot beverages – coffee for Odin, tea
for Frigga, hot chocolate for Thor and Loki who shared a mutual dislike of the
coffee bean, unlike what seemed like their entire year. Thor was playing with
the marshmallows in his drink when his father put down his mug and raised
himself just a little taller in his chair.
Thor knew that look, and began to panic. Alas, there was nothing he could do to
subvert whatever was about to come next, especially when he had no idea what it
was.
“So, Loki, how is your daughter?”
Yep. That was about the worst thing that Thor could think of. He froze in his
chair, brain working overtime, trying desperately to think about whether or not
he’d accidently let it slip at some point, and coming up blank. He had been
incredibly careful. He felt like the world was crashing down around him, like
everything that they had built up over the course of the evening had come to
nought, and everything was just grinding to a halt.
It felt like molten lava had been poured into his stomach.
Beside him, Loki was going through what appeared to be several emotions –
shock, then disbelief, then fear and anxiety, and then just plain old
confusion. He looked at Thor, face questioning, and all Thor could do was
shrug.
“I didn’t say anything!” he said, hoping that Loki would believe him. He knew
that Loki hadn’t kicked up a fuss about Odin knowing anything, but still, he
had said that they were keeping it on the down-low and that’s what Loki would
have been expecting.
“Neither did I,” Frigga added, her hand frozen on the handle of her mug.
“Odin?”
Thor stared at his father. Odin was stirring his coffee, peering down into the
depths of his cup with a tiny smirk on his face, like he knew something no-one
else did. And, well, apparently he did.
Apparently, he had decided to keep everyone in suspense. The room was utterly
silent, utterly still, with no-one bar Odin moving a muscle.
“Odin,” Frigga said again, resting a hand on his arm.
At this, he looked up. He let his spoon drop against the side of the mug.
“I worked with your father,” he said, looking at Loki. “He was representing the
workers at Jotunheim when they were restructuring and trying to lay off as many
workers as they could. He’s a good man.”
Frigga made the tiniest noise, something like recognition, and settled back
into her chair. Thor began to connect the dots, albeit slowly.
In response to the still-confused look on Loki’s face, Odin went on. “I’m a
lawyer. I specialize in employment and contractual law. A large part of my work
involves Jotunheim Industries.”
Thor’s dots started going off in strange directions. “But… you’ve been in
Norway. You can’t have met his father. They moved here after you left.”
Odin nodded slowly. “This has been going on for a long time, Thor. It started
five months ago. I spent three weeks in Alaska speaking to the workers in the
factories in Anchorage. I do believe that at the time, your father’s job was
not in danger, but he still spoke out for the others.” He directed the last at
Loki, who took it in, and then nodded, once.
“You met him then?” Thor asked, still trying to make the dots connect.
“I did. Your daughter had just been born, Loki.”
Thor instinctively turned to Loki, as did Frigga. But Loki was staring across
the table at Odin.
“He showed me pictures. And videos. He was incredibly proud, still is, from
what I hear. He keeps me up to date. We get on quite well.”
At those words, Loki bowed his head. Thor had the instinctive feeling he needed
to hide tears caused by the mention of how proud his father was, and so
shuffled closer, sliding an arm around his waist, and tried to distract his
parent’s attention by asking more of Odin while Loki surreptitiously wiped his
eyes.
“Why didn’t you say you knew him?” he asked.
Odin shrugged. “Well, I didn’t know before tonight, did I? Perhaps I should
have thought of it when you told me his name, but I made no connection at the
time, although I knew they had moved here. We have plans to catch up over
dinner next week.”
Thor was desperately trying to catch up and digest all of this. So his father
knew Loki’s father, and they were basically friends, and Odin knew about Briana
because Laufey told him, and so there had been no reason to hide it, but how
were they to know that he already knew, and was this a coincidence? Loki and
his family moving to their town – of all the thousands of towns throughout the
States, it ended up being this one?
But then a dot connected with another dot, and he had a neat, straight line in
his head – Laufey worked for Jotunheim Industries, who had transferred him. So
he needed to be in a town that contained one of Jotunheim’s offices. This
wasn’t a particularly big town, a bit of an odd choice for a company that
seemed to have offices everywhere, but Thor didn’t know enough about business
to figure that one out. His father, whilst he was a partner in his own law
firm, did work for Jotunheim Industries. So, in a way, it was all connected.
“And that’s why you were in Norway. For Jotunheim.” Frigga said, her eyes
sharp, mind even sharper.
“Yes. Their head offices are in Oslo. We needed to get it all sorted out at the
highest level, so it was easiest to just go there.”
And Loki had mentioned that only recently they’d found out his father’s job was
safe. And it was because of his dad, because of Odin.
His head swirled.
Loki had recovered by now and sat up straighter, but still managed to lean into
Thor, just a little. Then he said something that Thor hadn’t quite gotten the
courage to do yet. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything about Briana.”
That made both Thor and Frigga protest, pointing out that they had decided it
was best to ‘ease Odin into it’ and Loki was just going along with it, and the
whole time Odin just sat there, a rather smug smile on his face.
“It’s alright, lad,” Odin said suddenly, breaking through Thor and Frigga like
a great ship. “You’d think by now they’d have learnt it’s no use hiding things
from me.”
At first, Thor thought it was serious, then his father was having to take a
long draught from his coffee to hide the wide grin in his face, and he
understood that Odin was enjoying this. Really enjoying this. His mother,
knowing his father better than anyone, was practically rolling her eyes.
It was clear on the look on Loki’s face that he didn’t really know what to make
of all this. Thor had worried about something like that happening, but he
hadn’t imagined these sorts of circumstances. His father had pretty much just
picked up his book of contingency plans and thrown it out the window. He wasn’t
impressed.
“So, how is she?” Odin asked, one hand swinging wide over the table.
Thor wanted to sink his face into his palms.
Loki shrugged. “She’s good. She’s starting to crawl. Make some noises.
Everything she’s meant to be doing at her age, which is good.”
“Excellent.”
Thor’s head was reeling. His father wasn’t supposed to be reacting like this.
He was meant to find the whole thing appalling, that his son was dating someone
with a young child and he might be expected to look after said child. Thor had
lost his footing; he had no idea where to go from here. It seemed that all he
could do was stumble blindly forward and hope the earth didn’t fall out from
beneath him.
“You need to bring her over one day so we can meet her properly,” Frigga said,
leaning forward on her elbows. “I would love to see her.”
Odin inclined his head in agreement.
Loki nodded, his face a little blushed, quite cutely if Thor could comment. “I
can do that.”
Thor thought that his father was probably agreeing in order to be polite – or,
perhaps, just make sure that any potential adoptive grandchildren were
acceptable (though, really, his father wasn’t that bad, he was just being
paranoid again) - but his mother was genuinely looking forward to meeting
Briana. His mother attached herself to babies – anyone’s babies – almost
fiercely, giving such unconditional love and affection that he sometimes
thought she’d missed her calling – she would have adored working with babies.
He hoped Loki was prepared to accept a voracious new grandmother for Briana.
He felt a squeeze on his knee and looked over to Loki, who gave him a small
smile, as if to say that everything was ok. And really, for now, everything
was. So why couldn’t he relax?
They finished their drinks, the conversation having turned to Loki’s opinion of
his new hometown (it was small, but that was good, and the people were nice,
which was even better, and Thor couldn’t help but think of the people that Loki
had had to get used to in Alaska) and then to some television program that Thor
had never heard of but apparently his mother and Loki watched without fail. He
just listened politely and shared a sneaky grin with his father.
Before he knew it, it was 10.32pm and Loki was looking worried, having been
away for a little longer than he’d expected.
“She must be ok, or Ane would have phoned you,” Thor pointed out, which made
Loki relax a little and shrug his shoulders.
“That’s true. I just can’t help but worry though.”
“I know,” Thor said wryly. He’d noticed.
“Come on, I’ll give you a lift,” Odin said, swinging his coat over his
shoulders.
Thor knew that Loki would protest and say that he could walk home, just to be
polite, but it was completely not necessary and so he bet Loki to the punch,
agreeing and saying – rather than suggesting – that he was coming too.
Odin rolled his eyes but his lips were pointed upwards in a semblance of a
smile, and Loki pressed his lips together so as not to giggle. Thor elbowed
him.
His mother rose to say goodbye, giving Loki a quick hug before holding his
shoulders and reiterating her desire to meet Briana. Thor tried not to feel
even slightly embarrassed. Loki seemed to understand, at least.
It was pitch black outside, the moon nowhere to be seen, and Thor was glad that
his father had offered to take Loki home. Even with the streetlights, it seemed
a gloomy night, and he would have hated Loki to be out walking in it – though
he knew he wouldn’t have let Loki leave on his own. A part of him knew that
Loki was perfectly old enough to walk himself home, thank you very much, but a
much larger part insisted that dark = dangerous and Loki = his = protection.
Thor became quite convinced for a moment that he was reverting to some sort of
cave man state.
They sat together in the back of his father’s car, Loki by the window and Thor
in the middle, an odd place to sit but it afforded them touch and the ability
to speak so quietly that they thought Odin wouldn’t hear. Though, really, Thor
wouldn’t have put it past him to be quite capable of hearing their whispers, or
of bugging the backseat entirely.
Loki didn’t even need to tell him his address, which at first seemed to alarm
him until Thor reassured him that as the only family to have moved into their
town in the past 6 months, everyone knew where he lived. Then he thought that
over and realized it probably wasn’t as comforting as he hoped.
He changed the subject.
It was a quick ride though, and they pulled up sooner than Thor had expected.
They stumbled out of the car, quite literally as Loki managed to catch a foot
on the door on the way out and Thor happened to be holding onto him. The grass
softened their fall and Odin didn’t laugh too loudly, so Thor got over it
quickly.
“Ugh,” Loki said eloquently as he stood up and brushed his clothes of imaginary
dirt. “I’m not normally that uncoordinated.”
“Sure you aren’t,” Thor teased, making Loki smile and roll his eyes.
“You’ve seen me in bed,” Loki whispered very very quietly, a devious glint in
his eyes, and Thor promptly found himself speechless. And aroused. It was a
disturbing situation when his father was three feet away.
“My parents aren’t home yet,” Loki said suddenly. “Or our dads could have
caught up again.”
“Do we want them to?” Thor asked in a stage whisper, making his father stick
his head out the window and point out that they really weren’t planning on
shipping anyone off to boarding school any time soon, but that situation was
subject to change depending on extenuating circumstances, or compromising
situations.
Loki mouthed ‘Oops’ at Thor, making sure to exaggerate, and Thor pressed his
lips together in an effort not to laugh.
“Come on, I’ll walk you up,” he said to Loki, and held out his arm.
“Gentleman,” Loki pointed out, but took his arm anyway. Thor could practically
feel his father smirking behind them as they walked up the path to the house.
“I hope tonight was ok,” Thor asked, a little nervous. While it hadn’t
descended into some sort of vicious screaming match, it still hadn’t turned out
quite the way he had thought it would go.
Loki smiled at him. “I had a good time. Your parents are nice and your mom can
really cook. The whole baby thing…. Yeah, that was unexpected, but that could
have gone a lot worse.”
“Mmmm.” Thor agreed. He didn’t voice just how bad he thought it could have
gone. It seemed that even at his age, his father was still perfectly capable of
surprising him. “My dad seems pretty ok about it.”
Loki inclined his head. “He did. I hope that doesn’t change.”
“I’ll make sure it doesn’t,” Thor said, with more bravado than he felt.
“Uh huh,” Loki said, his eyes twinkling. They reached the door and stopped,
both wanting to say goodnight a little more affectionately but Thor was very
conscious of his father watching them from the car. He settled for reaching in
and kissing Loki’s check, and murmuring “Goodnight” against his skin. Loki
blushed and smiled, and reciprocated with his own kiss to Thor’s cheek, and
whispered, “You know, I had a really good time earlier,” before slipping inside
and closing the door behind him.
Thor just hoped his face wasn’t as bright red as he was thinking it was when he
got back in the car.
The ride home was a little awkward, as Thor had expected, but they didn’t end
up saying anything, which he hadn’t expected. He was waiting for ‘the talk’,
something along the same lines as what his mother had said to him, or perhaps
appeals to be ‘careful’ and ‘not take it too far’ (too late anyway, Thor
thought). But his father drove quietly and carefully, staring out the
windshield into the dark as if it held the secrets of the universe.
He didn’t understand his father sometimes.
His mother was waiting for them when they returned home, the kitchen cleared
and tidy and the dishes draining by the sink. Thor often wondered if she had
some sort of magic, because her ability to clean and tidy seemed almost
inhuman. It was something he had not inherited from her.
She gave him a quick hug, as if they’d been away for a lot longer than 20
minutes, and smiled at Odin as she smoothed her hands down over the apron she
wore over her clothes. She was nervous. She always did that when she was
nervous. Thor sighed and sat down at the kitchen table.
His father sat across from him, his mother next to him. The silence was
deafening.
Thor looked at the clock, at the picture on the wall behind his mother’s head,
at the bread bin, anywhere but at his parents. He bit his lip and curled his
hair behind his ears with his fingers.
“He’s a good kid,” Odin said finally, leaning back in his chair and staring at
Thor. Thor was waiting for the ‘but’. “But there is that little issue.”
Predictable.
“I’ve had this conversation with mom,” Thor said, in a desperate attempt to
avoid another one.
Odin raised an eyebrow. He glanced at Frigga, who pursed her lips together in a
smile. Thor knew she felt a little guilty about not telling Odin about Briana,
but he also knew that she had nothing to worry about. This was his problem, not
hers.
“Oh? And how did that go?”
Frigga spoke up before Thor could even formulate a semblance of a reply. “We
talked about it. About having to look after a child. Thor accepts that Briana
is not his daughter but understands that the nature of their relationship means
that he will have a lot of interaction with her. And that he would like to be
involved in her life. I agreed.”
Thor looked at her. She had said nothing about her misgivings, of which she’d
had plenty, if he recalled correctly. He decided nothing would be gained by
contradicting her, and in any case, he knew his mother was shrewd and most
likely had chosen those words for a reason.
Odin nodded slowly, tapping one finger on the table. “Laufey is a good man.
They have a strong family. He told me that Loki had made one mistake.” His hand
lifted off the table and swept over the surface; Thor knew that it meant that
‘mistakes happen’. “His mistake happened to provide a child. Too young,
perhaps, but from what I hear about Loki, and from what I gather from tonight,
he’s an intelligent young man with good ambitions.” He frowned. “Maybe a good
influence on you,” he said, looking at Thor, his look saying more than his
words. Focus on your education. It’ll take you far. Thor was tense in his
chair, almost too afraid to move for no good reason, but his father hadn’t yet
indicated any negativity towards Loki, which both made him grateful and also
made him hold his breath, for surely it was coming. “I do not, however, expect
you to further neglect your studies because of either Loki or his child. Nor do
I expect you to be providing for them in any way, shape or form.” Thor decided
that what his father didn’t know, wouldn’t hurt him. “Laufey is proud. He can
provide for his family and his granddaughter without your aid.” Thor just
nodded, and didn’t look at his mother. His father continued to tap on the
table. “No more keeping secrets. And no mistakes.” He said the last word as if
it was poisonous, and Thor looked up to see his father’s lone eye stare at him,
open and deadly, and a shiver ran down his spine that had nothing to do with
the breeze that floated through the open window. “Are we understood?”
Thor swallowed. “We are understood.”
His father stared at him for a moment more, and then smiled, and stood up from
the table. “Good.” He clasped his hands together. “Coffee?” he asked Frigga,
and suddenly everything was normal again.
*
Thor collapsed onto his bed with a sigh. His body physically hurt, his muscles
hard and tense, though there was little reason for that now. Everything was ok,
really, the talk was over and done with – and it was brief, at least his father
saw the reasoning in keeping things to the point – and being with Loki was ok,
though the restraints put on him that had to do with Briana made him chafe. He
wanted to spend time with her, to buy her things, to see if he could be there
for her. She was a part of Loki, and that in itself made her special. He only
wished his father could see it that way.
Part of him understood his parent’s viewpoints. He was still a kid,
effectively, still in high school and meant to be studying, to make it into
college and get a degree and get a good job and have a good family and live a
good life. So, he was doing things a little out of order. And that was making
his parents a little nervous. He got it, he really did, but at the same time he
wished they understood what it was like to see Loki in Briana’s smile, to feel
her energy lift him up and connect him to Loki in a way that he hadn’t thought
possible, to see the love that radiated from Loki like an aura when he was with
his baby. Maybe, with time, they would.
For now, he knew what he had to do. Play it under the radar, not do anything
drastic that would affect his parents attitude towards his relationship,
perhaps work a little harder at school to try and press the image that being
around Loki was rubbing off. Oh, and make sure to use condoms.
Definitely use condoms.
***** Chapter 20 *****
Chapter Notes
     Another chapter, another apology for the time it's taken to update :
     (. I was hoping to get quicker but not sure that will happen. But,
     again, it's not abandoned, updates will just be tortuously slow
     because I am evil like that. I've been severely distracted by grad
     school (damn deadlines) and the Weir-Voronov divorce (#TEAMJOHNNY!).
     Not actually sure where this chapter came from. It's not in my story
     plan. It just kinda grew from one throw-away line. We should be back
     on track in the next chapter folks. Don't mind the detour.
     I'll be updating my Tumblr (http://wicked-writings.tumblr.com/) in
     the next day or so with other fics I have on the burner.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Thor felt tired the next day, as if he was boneless, just floating along and
letting life happen around him. He hadn’t slept well, and had woken early,
surprising Loki at their meeting place along their route to school by being
there first. At lunch he sat next to Loki, letting him talk, happy to listen
and watch, and trying hard not to let on that he could tell Steve and Tony were
holding hands under the table.
Loki quietly asked him what was wrong, his green eyes filled with concern, the
color so pretty that Thor smiled instead of answering, making Loki even more
confused.
“I’m fine,” Thor explained. “Just tired. I slept like crap.”
“Oh,” Loki said quietly. “Next time I’ll wear you out a little more.”
It said something about Thor’s current, depleted state of being that it took
him a few moments to figure out what Loki even meant. Loki waited patiently
while Thor worked his brain, eyes shining with subtle amusement.
“Oh,” Thor said eventually. “Yeah. I’m up for that.” He was going to say more,
but promptly forgot it and yawned instead.
Across the table, Tony snorted. “Late night, big fella?” he asked, punctuating
his sentence with an exaggerated wink at both Thor and Loki.
Loki just rolled his eyes but Thor grinned stupidly, making the rest of the
table holler and whistle, and Steve turn an interesting shade of red. The grin
didn’t fade, making Loki punch him in the shoulder until it did.
“Domestic abuse,” Clint said seriously, through a mouthful of half-cold pizza.
“I’d sue, if I was you.”
“Your dad’s a lawyer, right?” Tasha asked, pointing her piece of pizza at Thor.
“Yeah,” Thor said, and then he shut up, because he could feel Loki glaring a
hole through his shirt.
“Well then,” Clint said. “No excuses.”
Tasha smirked into her pizza before winking at Thor. He wasn’t sure what she
was winking about, but smiled back half-heartedly anyway.
“Hey,” Loki whispered, leaning so close to Thor he could feel Loki’s breath on
his cheek.
“Yeah?” He turned his head and Loki was right there, just inches away, and all
he had to do was lean forward a little and their lips would be touching and
Loki would be melting into him and –
“Are we getting cookies this afternoon?”
Cookies? The cogs in Thor’s brain whirled wearily away, making him stare
blankly in the meantime, until Loki prompted him again.
“Thor. You remember. The Johnsons. The people we met yesterday?” Loki’s
eyebrows were just about up in his hairline.
“Oh. Oh. Yes. Yes we are.”
“Good,” Loki said, his face crinkling into a smile. “You are so damn adorable
when you are sleepy.”
Thor wasn’t sure if he was meant to be embarrassed or flattered.
*
Loki met him after school, and insisted they take a detour past the local strip
mall to procure something to wake Thor up a bit. He guzzled an energy drink and
pocketed another one, because (as Loki pointed out) he wasn’t small, and it was
likely one can just wasn’t going to be enough. It seemed to work though, and he
felt more awake, or that might have just been because he was no longer at
school.
They walked slowly, and Loki asked what was wrong – because he had always been
rather perceptive. Thor figured it was best not to keep it to himself,
considering how it was about Loki in the first place, and he had no intention
of letting anything get between them – nothing he could avoid, anyway.
Thor told him about the conversation he’d had with his mother and father the
previous night. Though they hadn’t strictly told him to stop dating Loki, he
knew they had reservations – and they all had to do with Briana. As soon as he
said it he felt terrible, because she was completely innocent – and he didn’t
want Loki to feel ashamed. But he forgot that Loki had been to hell and back,
and had accepted his situation with a grace and intelligence that many people
could have never achieved. Loki just took his hand and smiled, and for the
first time that day, Thor began to relax.
*
Mr Johnson was in his front yard again as they approached that afternoon. The
soil and compost bags had been sorted, and some loaded on a trailer parked
halfway up the drive. He was bent over a wheelbarrow, the lone wheel lying next
to him on the grass as he tightened the screws that held the legs to the
barrow.
They could hear him as they approached, muttering swear words under his breath
as he struggled to tighten a particularly stubborn screw.
“Afternoon,” Thor said amicably, trying hard not to smile.
“Thor!” Mr Johnson exclaimed, dropping the screwdriver – with what seemed to be
no little happiness at the thought – and climbing to his feet. Thor and Loki
found themselves at the mercy of his vigorous handshakes again, but at least
this time, Loki came prepared.
“Come on, let’s not stand around here, I’ll rope you into something,” he said,
and turned towards the house. “Come, come.” He waved a hand at them.
Thor found himself suppressing another smile, and when he looked at Loki, he
could see his eyes twinkling and his mouth trembling, and together they grinned
at each other until they had it out of their systems. Thor wasn’t sure what it
was about the Johnsons that made everyone around them happy – some people just
seemed to ooze positivity, the sort that was catchy, and gave everyone a good
mood. It was nice.
Moira was in the kitchen, presiding over a large piece of meat that was
apparently defying her every effort to cook it right through. She had her hands
on her hips, looking at it in a very disapproving way, much the same way that
Thor remember she would look at him when he would appear in her garden, covered
head to toe in dirt after playing in the piles of soil. It would never last,
though, because he’d get a telling off and then she’d put him in the bath,
scrub him top to toe and send him home sparkling clean in one of her son’s
outgrown shirts, always with a handful of cookies. He never admitted it to her,
but sometimes he rolled in the dirt just for the attention. And the cookies.
“That meat not doin’ what it should again, Moira?” Mr Johnson asked. “I can
pull out me belt.”
“Wouldn’t mind if you did, Mister,” she said, and then looked up. “Thor! You
came!”
“Of course,” Thor managed to say before he was engulfed in a hug so ginormous
the rest of the world seemed blanked out. He heard Mr Johnson laughing and Loki
giggling and was glad they couldn’t see his red face. Though, he did quite
enjoy her hugs – she was just full of love and life and sometimes, when he was
a kid, he could sit in her lap for hours just soaking it up. She released him
with a kiss to his cheek and then turned on Loki, exclaiming her excitement at
seeing him again and not letting him get away without a hug as well.
They sat down at the kitchen table with drinks and an enormous plate of peanut
brownies. Thor was pestered about his school work (he might have exaggerated
his test scores a little), the state of his bedroom (“don’t go there,” Loki had
said traitorously), his mother (“very well”), his father (“too well”), and just
what he was spending most of his time outside of school doing (at which the
first thought he had was ‘Loki’, and turned a spectacular shade of scarlet).
They were a little kinder on Loki, but in the course of the afternoon managed
to find out so much about him there were things that even Thor hadn’t known. He
half-suspected they were as concerned as his parents as to the suitability of
Loki as a boyfriend and were just making sure their beloved quasi-adopted
grandson was in good hands. Just as it had been with his parents, Loki passed
with flying colors, and here there was no holding back – it was a comfortable
environment, with the kind of loving support that had made Thor often go to
them when he was upset when he was younger, instead of his mother (this was
generally when he had been in trouble) and Loki told them about Briana.
Thor hadn’t realized how much he needed this. The Johnsons had grandchildren,
were reasonably advanced in age, had been there, done that. They listened to
Loki as he talked about finding out he was pregnant, James ditching him, trying
to raise a baby while juggling school, and the stigma that surrounded young
parents that meant he had told very few people (that weren’t from his
hometown). They listened sympathetically and without judgment, and Thor could
see the relief on Loki’s face as he talked, that someone was listening and they
understood.
It broke the ice, in a way, and before he knew it Thor was talking about his
family’s misgivings, how they weren’t sure this was the right path for him, but
that they trusted him – and how this trust had started to weigh on him, just a
little, because he didn’t want to lose it. Loki wrapped an arm around his waist
and Thor leaned into it, unconsciously.
The Johnsons didn’t interrupt or interject with suggestions or their own
personal opinions, for which Thor was immensely grateful. They just listened
and let Loki and he tell their own stories in their own words, without having
to sugarcoat anything or gloss over any of the unsavory details.
When they finished talking, Thor felt loose, almost empty, and in a strange way
– relieved. It was all out of him now, and though the pressure was still there,
it had been shared. It was like having rocks removed from his shoulders. Loki
looked tired, as if it had taken most of his energy to speak, and he leaned his
head against Thor.
The cookies were long gone. They had been amazing, of course, and Thor felt a
touch sick to the stomach for eating so many of them, but they had given him
something to do with his hands which had seemed to make everything a little
easier. There were crumbs down his shirt and he wiped them away
surreptitiously, but of course Loki noticed and Thor felt him giggle silently.
“Well,” Moira said, her hands tucked under her chin. “Goodness me.” She lent
her head on her husband’s shoulder. “Thor, do you remember Graeme?”
Thor screwed up his face as he tried to remember. “Your son? Tall… he had
tattoos on his forearm.”
Moira smiled as he remembered. “That’s right. He’s a lot older than you, I
think he left home just before you were born. He was 23 and had just finished
college. Do you know how old I was when he was born?”
Thor shook his head.
“I was 17. We were married.”
“You were married? At 17?” Loki asked, his tone disbelieving.
Moira nodded. “I was 17, Gary was 18. We were born here, lived here our whole
lives. For such a long time it was the thing to do, you see. Marry young, start
a family. Women were meant to be at home, cooking and baking and doing the
housework, while men went out and earned a living. It was women’s job to run
the household and have children. If you didn’t, people looked down on you.
Things were changing, out in the big world, but here – well, things take a
while to change.” She smiled, her eyes seeing the past, and for the first time,
Thor looked beyond his childhood and saw her as a child. After a moment she
looked back at Loki, and Thor could see that history written on her face. “We
married, I had a child almost straight away. As I was supposed to.”
Thor wasn’t sure what he felt about that. He looked at Loki, but he was looking
at Moira, hand on his chin, interest and emotion written on his face.
“Was that what you wanted?” Loki asked, his voice strange.
“It didn’t matter what I wanted. It was what was expected. If I hadn’t had
children, if I hadn’t looked after the house, there would have been questions
from his family, from mine, from the community. Women had a role that they were
expected to fill. Mine was to have children.”
“But you loved him.”
Moira leaned forward. “Of course I did.” Her face was full of memory, and of
sympathy and love, as well. “He was my world. Gary too, of course. But…” She
sat back in the chair, and closed her eyes. “Would that have been my choice if
I had had one? No.” She opened her eyes again. “I always wanted to travel. To
see the world. To go to college, to meet new people, try new things. And, I did
it. When the children had grown up, we were still in our early forties. So, we
travelled, we meet new people, we tried new things. I don’t know if you
remember, Thor, but we went to Europe for a year once and I brought you back
some clothes and toys.”
The dim memory of strange clothes crept into Thor’s consciousness. He
remembered a box, full of clothes and toys – toys he had never seen before. And
food – candies that were bitter, some that were extra sweet. His mother had
said they had come from a place very far away, which was why they were so
strange. “I remember.”
Moira nodded and smiled. “Then, when we had finished travelling, I went to
college. I got my degree, in English literature. Not something that would get
me into a high class career, but I enjoyed it and it made me happy. Gary built
up his business, and here we are now. We have three beautiful children, 7
wonderful grandchildren, and there is nothing more that I want out of my life
than I have right now.” She leaned forward, so that she was closer to Loki. “I
know things aren’t the same these days. I know it must be incredibly hard for
you. But at the end of the day, it’s worth it. It’s worth everything you can
throw at it. So, lad, don’t you think your life is over. It’s just began. You
just got a headstart.”
Thor saw Loki bite his lip, hard, his eyelashes wavering. He rubbed his back,
feeling the warmth of his skin through his clothes, and felt such a wave of
thankfulness for the Johnsons that he had never felt for anyone before.
“And you, Thor, don’t you worry about your parents. They’ll worry, don’t you
think they won’t, but I know them. You think they got to where they are without
making mistakes? I’m not saying this is a mistake, but that they trust you. And
believe you me, if your father really was upset at any of this, he would have
locked you in the basement until you were 20.”
That made Loki snort and then rapidly wipe his eyes while everyone pretended
not to notice. Thor slid his arm around Loki’s shoulder and pulled him into his
chest, unashamed of affection in front of his faux-grandparents. Loki relaxed
into him, and Thor felt him sigh. He hadn’t realized how much they both needed
that. External gratification – it was a good thing.
The cookies had also helped.
Moira stood up to get another round of drinks when Loki’s cellphone started
beeping. He groaned and fished it out of his jeans, holding it up to the light
to read the display. Thor could feel his body tense and tilted his head to see
what the text said, but Loki lowered his phone before he could.
“I have to go home, Briana won’t stop crying,” Loki said, his voice laced with
anxiety. He stood up and slung on his jacket. “I’m so sorry.”
“Is she ok?” Thor asked, standing up in a hurry and almost knocking the table
over in the process.
Loki looked at him, and for a moment Thor could almost it, the panic and worry
that showed so clear on his face. He grabbed for Loki’s hand and squeezed it
tight. “Probably just tired,” Loki said, but his voice sounded choked.
“But she normally settles well, doesn’t she?” Thor pointed out, before he
realized it was really the wrong thing to say. Something dark crossed over
Loki’s face before he nodded curtly, and Thor felt like the worst boyfriend on
earth.
“It’s ok, Loki, you get home,” Moira said, and gave Loki a hug as they stepped
away from their chairs. “Gary can run you around if you like, save you
walking.”
Thor knew that Loki’s first reaction was to be polite and say no, but he knew
that the Johnsons’ would have been pleased to be able to help. “That would be
great,” he said, before Loki could formulate his response. He felt Loki’s
fingernails digging into his hand and winced a little before discretely turning
to him and nodding. Loki relaxed a little, but he still stood tense, like a
deer ready to run.
“Come on,” Mr Johnson said, grabbing a set of keys from a hook by the door.
“I’m afraid the car smells a little like soil but you get used to it after a
bit.”
Thor and Loki grabbed their bags from the floor and followed.
*
What was a 15 minute walk on foot was a 2 minute journey by car, and Thor
caught the expression of gratefulness on Loki’s car as they reached his home in
warp speed.
“Thank you so much,” Thor said to Mr Johnson, leaning in his car window. “Say
thank you to Moira too for the cookies.”
“Will do,” Mr Johnson said, cocking a finger to his forehead in a salute and
smiling before putting the car into gear and tooting as he drove away.
Loki was already at the front door. Thor slipped in behind him and heard
Briana’s wails before he even saw her. Ane was walking her back and forth,
trying to soothe her, but she looked frazzled and Briana was not quieting.
“How long has she been crying?” Loki asked, his face lined in worry as he took
Briana from her.
“She started grizzling after lunch and it just got worse after that,” Ane said.
“I think she’s running a temperature.”
Briana clung to Loki, her hands fisted in his shirt. Loki kissed the top of her
head and tried to hush her but she wasn’t having any of it. He felt her skin
and Thor heard him gasp. “Where is the thermometer?” he asked.
“Bathroom,” Ane said, and without hesitating left to fetch it.
Feeling a little useless, Thor asked if he could do anything. Loki looked up,
almost surprised to see him there, but the look disappeared quickly to be
replaced by something akin to relief. “Could you get a damp cloth? There are
clean cloths on the counter.”
Thor could do that. He rinsed a cloth under cold water and squeezed it out
before returning to Loki’s side, where he’d sat himself on the couch. He handed
it over and watched as Loki smoothed the cloth over Briana’s forehead. She
scowled at the feel and screwed up her face, eyes leaking tears. It didn’t stop
her wailing, though, and Thor could practically feel Loki’s helplessness.
“I found it.” Ane sat on the other side of Loki, holding a box. She pulled out
a thermometer and asked Loki to hold Briana still. She held the thermometer in
Briana’s ear and Thor heard it click! before she held it up to read the
temperature.
“103.8 degrees.”
Thor had no idea if that was good or bad, but the way that Loki’s face paled
told him everything. “She was fine this morning, how could it get so high so
quickly?”
Ane shook her head. “I don’t know, sweetheart. I’m going to call the doctor,
ok?”
Loki nodded. “Please.” He turned to Thor. “Could you please fill her sippy cup
with water? It’s on the coffee table.”
Thor spotted it easily, considering it was bright pink and purple. He grabbed
it and filled it with water from the sink, rinsing another cloth while he was
at it. He handed both to Loki, who swapped the now warm cloth for the cool one
and attempted to get Briana to drink.
She rejected it at first, screwing up her face and trying to squirm out of
Loki’s hold.
“Come on baby, just a mouthful, ok?” Loki pleaded with her, trying to coax her
to drink. She gave in after a minute or two, swallowing a little, but that was
all she would take and started to scream when Loki asked for more.
Loki sighed with frustration and Thor felt helpless, unable to change the
situation in a way that could relieve Loki of the pain he was feeling on behalf
of his daughter. All he could do was wrap an arm around Loki in support,
something he felt was akin to putting a bandaid on a war wound.
Ane came back into the room, disconnecting the call. “The doctor’s office says
we should bring her in. Her temperature is too high.”
“Can you call mom?” Loki asked, over Briana’s cries.
Ane shook her head. “I tried. She’s not picking up. I think she’s in a
meeting.”
“What about dad?” Loki’s voice was raised; high pitch.
Ane’s face crumbled. “He’s in Lone Rocks today, remember? It would take him at
least an hour just to get back here.” Thor thought she was being optimistic.
His father often had to go into Lone Rocks for business and it – literally –
drove him crazy.
Loki looked like he was on the verge of crying. “What’s the matter?” Thor
asked, not sure why Loki was panicking.
“I don’t have a car while Loki’s parents are both at work,” Ane pointed out,
sitting down heavily in an armchair. “We can always call an ambulance if she
gets worse, Loki.”
At that, Loki did start to cry. All Thor could do was sit there, feeling damn
useless, watching as tears rolled down his boyfriend’s cheeks. He lent forward
to wrap his arms around Loki, letting him bury his head into his neck, where he
could feel the damp tears slide down his skin. When he was younger his mother
would let him cry out his frustrations or tantrums in her arms, or, if he was
sick, lie in them all night long. He remembered her embrace, and though he
wasn’t sure if his arms were quite as comforting, he hoped they were at least
doing something. Considering he couldn’t do much else.
Or…
It hit him like a slap in the face, and he almost jumped, making Loki lift his
head in confusion, his eyes red and puffy.
“What?” he asked, his voice thick with stress. Thor was still working through
it in his head, and so all he could do was stare at Loki for a moment, who was
looking more and more confused by the second. “Thor?”
“I’ll be back in a second, ok? I’m just gonna call my mom.”
Loki didn’t say anything, just leant back against the couch and lifted Briana
until she was over his shoulder, still wailing her discomfort. Thor felt bad
for leaving, but he had to give it a go.
He went into Loki’s room, as that was the only other room he was comfortable
going into, and he wasn’t planning on calling his mother in the bathroom. She
answered after a few rings, for which Thor was immensely grateful.
“Darling! How are you? Are you home for dinner?” she asked. There was noise in
the background, so she wasn’t at home.
“Mom! I um, I’m at Loki’s.”
“Well, that’s fine. Is something the matter?”
Thor suddenly realized he wasn’t sure what to say. “Well, kinda.” He paused for
a moment, well aware that his mother was waiting for him to speak, and probably
wondering what on earth he was phoning for. “Well, it’s a bit complicated.
Briana’s sick, she has a fever and needs to go to the doctor but we can’t get
her there, Loki’s parents are both at work and Loki’s grandmother can’t get
hold of them.”
As soon as he finished the sentence he realized that what he was asking was
kind of awkward. He had no right to ask his mother to do something for people
she barely knew. He felt a bit stupid and closed his eyes in frustration,
swearing internally. If the wall wasn’t so far away he’d smack his head on it.
There was a pause on the other end of the line, as if his mother was either
waiting for him to continue and actually tell him the problem, or she’d figured
it out and wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. Unable to figure out which one
it was, he fumbled onwards, like an idiot in the dark without a flashlight.
“You can say no if you want and I get it and it’s a bit strange but Loki’s
really upset and Briana is crying and I can’t do anything and it all -”
“Thor.” Her voice broke through his rambling like a light in the darkness.
“It’s alright.” She laughed a little, not cruelly, but there was a touch of
amusement to it that had Thor both flushing a little and smiling. He sat down
on Loki’s bed, trying very hard not to remember what they were doing on it
yesterday, and stared down at the carpet. “I’m just doing some shopping, but I
was about to head home. I can come round. What number is it?”
The relief poured through him like a flood. “2389,” he rattled off. “Thank you
so much.”
“It’s ok, darling,” she said, with the voice of a parent now so used to going
above and beyond for her offspring that barely anything could make her even bat
an eyelid any more.
“Thank you,” he said one more time, almost unable to keep himself from saying
it.
“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
“Ok -” he takes a deep breath, because he was just about ready to say ‘thank
you’ again, and this conversation had been awkward enough without repeating
himself like an idiot. “See you soon,” he said, instead, and clicked the
conversation away.
He sat for a moment more, just breathing, settling himself, but too anxious to
sit completely still. His foot jiggled on the floor as his hands twisted around
each other. Then Briana wailed – even louder than she had been before – and he
was up like a shot, restless and worried.
When he got back into the living room, Loki and Ane were bent over Briana,
fussing. Loki had removed her jumpsuit until she was just in her diaper,
another cool, damp cloth draped over her forehead. The windows were all open, a
breeze swirling in but doing little to lower the ambient temperature. He rubbed
a hand over Loki’s lower back, and held in his surprise at how tense and rock
hard he felt under his palm. It wouldn’t have helped.
“My mom… she can come pick us up,” he said quietly, suddenly second-guessing
his idea to ask his mother for help. What if Loki didn’t appreciate him fussing
so much or interfering? What if they’d had another idea and didn’t need his
mother’s help? He backed off, just a little, unsure if Loki wanted him so close
while he was trying to help Briana.
Loki stood up straight suddenly, and for a moment Thor felt like he’d blown it.
But then Loki smiled, one that spoke of intense gratefulness rather than
annoyance, and Thor could have sagged with relief.
“That would be amazing,” Loki said, reaching out for Thor’s hand. “Thank you so
much.”
“It’s alright,” Thor replied, feeling a small rush of pleasure that he’d done
something right. “She’s on her way.”
“I’ll get the carseat,” Ane said, giving Thor a kiss on the forehead as she
passed on her way to the garage. He was so used to it by now that he didn’t
even blush.
Briana interrupted with another earsplitting wail, and Loki turned back to her,
concerned. But there was nothing more he could do, and settled for picking her
up and putting her over his shoulder. He walked around the room with her,
trying to hush her, but Thor personally thought he’d have better luck trying to
part the Atlantic. He figured, though, that Loki couldn’t handle not doing
something, no matter how futile.
Ane brought in the carseat, then found Briana’s diaper bag and laid it next to
the seat, before doing all the sensible things that only occasionally occur to
Thor, like shutting all the windows and making sure the doors were locked so
they wouldn’t be delayed when his mother arrived. Even then, it was still
another few minutes before she arrived, pulling up outside in her Lexus.
“She’s here,” Thor said to Loki, though it was nearly impossible to hear over
Briana’s screams and so he had to tap him on the shoulder and play charades
instead.
He gathered up the carseat and the diaper bag, letting Loki out of the door
first while Ane shut up the house behind them. His mother was waiting for them
by her car, and came forward when she saw Loki with Briana.
Thor had envisaged his mother’s first meeting with his boyfriend’s daughter a
little differently. In his imagination, Briana was her usual smiley, happy
self, squealing and giggling and generally being adorable while everyone (read:
his mother) made a huge fuss over her. Instead, she was screaming and upset,
her cheeks blotchy and red and covered in tear tracks.
“Oh dear,” Frigga said, concerned. “She’s not happy, is she?”
All Loki could do was shake his head. He stood still while Frigga met Briana
properly for the first time, stroking back her hair and cooing at her, feeling
her cheeks and her forehead and gasping at the heat. “Poor thing.”
Loki nodded, then gave a small smile. “I swear, she’s normally a lot nicer.”
That made Frigga laugh. “I don’t doubt you. But rest assured, I have had my
fair share of screaming, crying babies.” She grinned at Thor then, making him
flush and Loki smile again. “Come on, let’s get her in the car.”
Thor put the diaper bag on the roof of the car before opening the car door and
depositing the carseat on the backseat. He wriggled it around until it seemed
to fit into place, and then stopped, because the hell if he knew what he was
doing. There were straps everywhere.
“Uh,” he said, and deferred to Loki, who had passed Briana to Frigga at her
request. Thor wasn’t sure he would have wanted an armful of squally, snotty
baby but perhaps after you’d had your own you got used to excess bodily
secretions and loud noises.
Ane had already introduced herself to Frigga, which Thor belatedly realized
that he probably ought to have done, but it was too late now. His mother was
used to him cherry picking his manners and had long given up trying to convince
him to do otherwise, and hopefully Ane had realized he was preoccupied and
hadn’t meant any disrespect. Hopefully.
But they were talking quietly and didn’t look concerned, and then Loki tugged
on his sleeve and showed him the properly secured carseat.
“That’s a lesson for another day,” Loki said with a quick grin, and Thor
wondered just what else he needed to learn.
Frigga handed over her precious bundle and Loki got her secured in the carseat,
fighting her almost every inch as she protested at being tied in. But
eventually he got there and she gave up, glaring at him through red, tear-
rimmed eyes. Loki didn’t look pleased at winning; rather, he looked upset that
he’d had to force her. Thor couldn’t think of anything useful to say, and so
settled for guiding him around to the other side of the car so he could slide
in the middle. At the last second he remembered the diaper bag and pulled it in
with them.
Ane was in the front next to Frigga, telling her where to go, and Loki had
buckled himself in and had gone back to fussing over Briana. Thor settled the
bag in his lap and sat back for the ride.
*
Loki didn’t bother to unstrap Briana when they arrived, and carried her inside
in her carseat. Thor wasn’t very familiar with this doctor’s offices, as they
used the other clinic three blocks away – the same doctors his family had been
with his entire life. There, they knew him by name and apparently, everything
he’d ever done – good and bad. He thought that maybe it was a good thing they
hadn’t gone to his doctors. He would have gotten the Spanish Inquisition from
the nurses.
A nurse was waiting for them, at least, and they were shuffled into a cubicle.
Thor had expected to be told to wait elsewhere, but they didn’t flinch at the
idea that one baby had two adults and two teenagers with her. Ane and his
mother were chatting as they waited for the doctor, and it happened to be in
Norwegian so he had no idea what they were saying. He hoped they weren’t
talking about him.
He was inordinately glad that they were getting on.
Briana was getting more and more irritated, annoyed by being restricted, and
Loki unbuckled her. He pulled her onto his lap and asked Thor for some baby
wipes from the bag, to deal with the mess on her face. The diaper bag was
crammed full of things but very well organized, and he found the baby wipes
exactly where Loki had said they would be. He pulled out one for Loki, who set
about trying to clean Briana up, and then a clean rag when he was asked for
one.
Thor wasn’t sure if Loki’s motherly instincts were right on the ball or if it
was a coincidence, but the second that Loki tucked the clean cloth up on
Briana’s chest she promptly threw up all over it. Thor didn’t appreciate the
sight and looked away, his stomach queasy, but Loki didn’t blink an eye and
neither did Ane or his mother, who both helped with the clean-up. Thor shuffled
on his seat uncomfortably.
“Where’s the doctor?” he heard Loki ask Ane anxiously, who was quick to
reassure him.
“I’m sure it won’t be long, sweetheart.”
Thor knew as well as Ane that that wasn’t much of a comfort, but it was the
best they could do. Ane and Frigga had retaken their seats after helping Loki
clean up, and Thor felt a touch guilty at his uselessness and so slid an arm
around Loki’s waist. He wasn’t sure how helpful that was either, but Loki
leaned into him and rested his head on his shoulder.
It was only a few more minutes before the curtain shielding the cubicle was
swept to one side and a tall, pleasant-looking woman stepped inside.
She seemed to recognize Loki and Ane and said hello, before introducing herself
to Frigga and Thor as Dr Samantha Longren, or Sam for short because ‘Doctor’
was too formal. She was all business after that and asked Loki to lay Briana on
the examining table. Despite Loki being as gentle as he could she screamed her
lungs out, though Sam seemed barely phased.
She asked Loki a myriad of questions, including several that made Thor wish he
wasn’t in the room. There were some things he didn’t need to know about
Briana’s toileting habits. He could hear his mother chuckling softly beside him
at the look on his face. He turned to her and her raised eyebrows and smile
said everything - this is what you’ve gotten yourself into!
Thor resigned himself to getting used to it.
Sam checked Briana’s temperature again. It was 104.6 this time, and even Thor –
with his very limited medical knowledge – knew that something wasn’t right. Sam
explained that fever was useful – it meant that Briana’s body was fighting
whatever was making her sick – but she was concerned at the high temperature
and how quickly it had come on.
She started to explain the various ailments that could be causing the fever,
and Thor found himself looking around the room out of sheer curiosity. Nothing
could prepare him for the giant jar of condoms that he saw though, and for a
moment he became transfixed by them – caused by a strange combination of the
thought that he had never seen so many condoms in the one place before (outside
of a pharmacy), the wonder that they were just sitting there – right in
everyone’s faces! –, slight discomfort by the fact that they were in the same
room as his mother and he, and curiosity – were they free? Would anyone notice
if he slipped a few?
He was contemplating a few different ideas of how to get his hands on a couple
without his mother knowing – really, there were some things she didn’t need to
know – when a gasp of horror from Loki jerked him out of his thoughts. He was
up on his feet in a second flat and at Loki’s side, and it took him a few
moments to realize that Briana was having a seizure.
Sam was bafflingly calm, reassuring Loki that it was ok, it would go away, but
Loki was terrified and Thor could feel him shake next to him. He could tell
that Loki was only just barely restraining himself from reaching for her, but
Sam was there making sure she wasn’t going to roll off the bed. Thor, not sure
what to make of this and feeling rather sick, slid his arms around Loki,
letting him clutch at his hands in a poor exchange of being able to hold his
baby.
Thor tried not to watch, but it was hard, and he felt like his stomach was
filling with boiling water – horror, it was horror, and desperation and fear.
He wanted Sam to do something, not just stand there. Loki was crying and again,
Thor just felt absolutely helpless.
The seizure started to die down, and Thor heard his mother release the breath
she had been holding. Ane was pale, her face drawn, one hand grasping Loki’s
shoulder.
“Is she ok?” Loki asked, his voice trembling. Tears stained his cheeks, and Ane
busied herself with finding tissues and being very grandmotherly as she cleaned
his face.
“It was a febrile seizure,” Sam said, checking Briana over. “Sometimes it
happens when children have very high fevers. She shouldn’t have another one.”
“What do you think?” Ane asked, quietly. Thor noticed that she had a handful of
tissues for herself.
“I think it might be a good idea to take her to hospital, run a few tests to
make sure it isn’t something like meningitis. I don’t think it is,” she said
quickly, before Loki could have a full on freak out. “She doesn’t appear to
have any other symptoms at this stage. But meningitis doesn’t follow a rule
book. Considering the seizure, her temperature and her previous health history,
I’ll refer her to the hospital as a priority right now.”
Loki just nodded, his eyes spilling over with tears again. Thor tried to make
himself useful by procuring more tissues.
“Are you happy to drive her there or should I call an ambulance?” Sam asked.
Loki shrugged, looking at Ane, rather helplessly.
“How long would it take for an ambulance to get here?”
Sam pursed her lips. “Hard to tell. Maybe 10 minutes?”
“We could to get the hospital by then by driving,” Frigga pointed out. She
picked up her handbag and her keys, and that was that.
Loki picked up Briana very carefully, as if she might break, though he refused
to put her back in her carseat just yet. She grizzled in his arms, her tiny
face screwed up. Loki looked just as miserable.
Thor picked up her carseat slowly, his arms heavy. He wanted to do something
for Loki but he had a feeling that anything he could do, probably wouldn’t
help. At least, not in a practical sort of way. He let everyone else filter out
of the room first, lingering.
His mom was waiting for him outside. “Are you alright?” she asked him, wrapping
an arm around his shoulders. It was familiar and warm and so comforting he
sagged into her, not realizing how heavy and tense his shoulders were until he
relaxed them.
He nodded dumbly. “This sucks,” he mumbled, unable to think of anything better,
lest of all to describe how he felt.
She squeezed his arm and leaned up to kiss the side of his forehead. “She’ll be
ok. So will he. You did the right thing by calling me.”
Thor smiled at her, a little lopsidedly. This afternoon had gone from good to
bad to even worse and had felt him feeling awful. He was worried about Briana
and worried about Loki, and worried about dragging his mother into this. God he
hoped she wasn’t going to say I told you so.
They kept walking, Thor lugging the carseat in front of him. They found Loki
and Ane by the receptionist, filling out swathes of forms, and he could tell
that Loki was pissed that they couldn’t just get going. He had Briana in one
hand and a pen in the other, and she was not happy at the lack of attention.
Without thinking, Thor put down the carseat and reached for Briana. “Here,” he
said, and slid his hands under her arms. She threw him a filthy look and for a
second he was worried she was going to throw up on him out of spite. Loki let
her go with a quick smile before turning back to his papers.
Briana settled into the crook of his shoulder and let her head rest against his
collarbone. She was still wailing and grizzling but not as loudly as before,
and Thor wasn’t sure if this was good or bad. Maybe she was feeling a little
better, or perhaps she was getting tired and losing her energy, which wouldn’t
be good either. He could feel a damp spot spreading on his shirt, and panicked
before half a second before realizing that a) it was coming from her mouth, and
she was not spewing, and b) she was wearing a diaper.
Relieved, he cradled her head, bending down to kiss her forehead. She screwed
her face up but let him do it without biting his nose off.
“Can you grab me a cloth from the bag?” Thor asked his mom. He looked up to see
her smiling fondly at him, and felt his cheeks redden. “Uh, I mean, in there
somewhere…”
“I’ll find one,” she said gently, and rummaged through the pockets until she
found a clean cloth. Thor tucked it in between Briana and his shirt, and was
thankful to see that the application of a cloth wasn’t actually a cue for her
to puke.
“Is she ok with you?” Loki asked suddenly, and Thor realized that he’d finished
the paperwork.
“She’s fine,” Thor said, smiling, steadfastly ignoring the increasing wails of
despair.
Loki snorted and pressed his head against Thor’s shoulder. “Shhhhh….” he
whispered to Briana, who only cried louder.
“Come on,” Ane said, wrapping an arm around Loki’s shoulder. “Let’s get her to
the hospital so they can cool her down.”
Loki nodded and took her hand, leading them outside.
*
Thor sat on an uncomfortable plastic white chair that squeaked ominously every
time he moved. His mother sat next to him, perched carefully on the edge of
hers, cradling a Styrofoam cup of steaming coffee. Thor hadn’t been able to eat
or drink anything, too nervous to think he was capable of keeping anything
down.
Loki and Briana had been ushered into a room in the pediatric ward when they
had arrived at The Harry. Ane had followed them in for support, leaving Thor
and Frigga outside to wait. There was no use in them crowding the room. Thor
jigged his knee, his Converse slapping up and down on the tiles until his
mother settled a hand on his leg to stop him. He smiled at her nervously.
“She’ll be ok, won’t she?”
Frigga took a long sip of her coffee before she answered. “Of course she will.
She’s in the right place.”
Thor nodded, still so nervous that he didn’t realize he carried it on for a
good minute or so. Frigga smiled quickly into her coffee. “Are you sure you
don’t want a soda?” she asked.
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?” she asked, stroking a hand through his hair, and Thor realized
she wasn’t really asking about his lack of need for a drink. He bit his lip.
“I’ll be fine once I find out she’s ok.”
Her smile was fond and knowing. She looked at him for a moment. “I’m proud of
you, you know.”
“For what?” he asked, shaking his head.
“For this. Now, I’m going to go phone your father so he doesn’t panic when
neither of us come home. I’ll be back in a moment.” She gave him a final pat on
the top of his head and then he was alone.
He sighed and sat back in his chair. It protested and threatened to splay its
legs, sending him crashing to the ground, but it just gave another groan
instead and settled begrudgingly in place. He rested his hands tentatively on
the arms, readying himself to spring out as soon as it realized it couldn’t
cope after all.
The Harry was quiet around him. Every now and again a nurse or doctor would
hurry past, their heels clicking rhythmically on the tiles. There were few
patients that he could see, though most of course would be sequestered in a
room or cubicle like Briana. The smell of disinfectant and bad coffee was
persuasive and sickly, and made him wrinkle his nose.
“Thor?”
He nearly jumped out of his seat. The chair gave a wail like a death cry and he
decided to jump ship before it collapsed. It felt better to be standing anyway.
“Is she ok?” he asked, nervously folding his hands together, startled at how
sweaty they were.
Ane closed the door behind her. “They’re running a test for meningitis but we
won’t have the preliminary results for another few hours. So they’re moving her
to a room and they’ve given her medicine to bring down her fever. We just have
to wait it out.”
Thor let out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. “Ok,” he said,
nodding his head slowly. “Um, can I see her?” And Loki, he thought. He figured
Loki was probably going out of his head at the moment and it hurt not being
there.
“In a minute. They have to get the room ready and then she can go down and you
can see her. There’s no room up here so we’re going to maternity.” She smiled,
and Thor took solace in the fact that she could. It made his stomach unclench,
just a little.
“Maternity. Ok.” Then it made him laugh too, which was almost heavenly.
“Your mom still around?”
Thor tilted his head in the direction of the entrance. “Gone outside to call my
dad. Make sure he doesn’t freak out when we aren’t home.”
“Good idea. I need to call Loki’s mom again to let her know what’s happening.
Actually, I’ll go do that now. Why don’t you come in and keep Loki company
until we’re ready to move?”
Thor couldn’t say ‘yes’ fast enough.
*
The room was quiet. It took Thor a moment or two to realize why it was strange;
Briana had stopped crying. She was in a transparent baby bassinet in the middle
of room, with Loki crouched over her, legs folded underneath himself as he sat
perched on a chair. The rest of the room was empty; the nurses and doctors had
disappeared through another door.
“How is she?” Thor asked, trying to keep as quiet as possible, he had no wish
to send Briana off into another screaming tantrum just because he couldn’t keep
his voice down.
Loki looked up, startled. “Sorry, I thought you were Ane.” He smiled at Thor,
though it wasn’t hard to see it was tired and strained. “She’s doing better.
Way better. They got her temperature down a little.”
There was another chair right beside Loki’s, and Thor made good use of it.
Unlike the white chair outside, this one made no protest when he eased himself
into it. “She looks better.”
And she did. She was still red and blotchy, but she seemed to be sleeping and
wasn’t so restless as she had been. Loki was stroking her side softly, running
a gentle finger up and down her stomach. “Yeah. Doesn’t she.” He sighed and
rested his head against the side of the bassinet. He looked exhausted.
Thor felt his heart clench. He shifted closer to Loki, unsure of what to say
but offering comfort in the form of a hug instead. Loki let his head drop onto
Thor’s shoulder, and a moment later seemed to finally relax, pressing himself
into Thor. He took Loki’s weight against him, grateful just for that, to be
able to hold him. They sat there for a while, until he was sure that Loki was
nearly asleep, and Thor made sure to keep one eye on Briana.
He wasn’t sure how long it’d been when the door opened quietly. One of the
nurses poked her head inside, careful to be quiet. “Everything ok?” she
whispered. Thor nodded. “Good.” She held up an index finger. “We’ll be in to
move her in a minute.” She smiled quickly, and then she was gone.
Thor rested his head against Loki’s. “You awake?” he asked. Loki grunted, and
Thor took it as a yes. “You have a minute to wake up properly.” Loki grunted
again.
It took the full minute. By the time the nurse came in again to fetch them,
Loki was sitting upright, mostly conscious. Briana didn’t stir as they wheeled
the bassinet out, which Thor figured was a good sign. Ane and his mother were
waiting outside the room, faces ruddy from standing outside.
“Did you talk to mom?” Loki asked, his face and voice hopeful.
Ane nodded. “She’s on her way. She’ll be here soon.”
Loki looked like he was about to cry with relief. Thor tucked an arm around his
waist and pulled him closer, pretending not to notice when Loki sniffed into
his chest.
They wound their way through the corridors of the hospital. Thor tried to keep
track of all the twists and turns but had to give up, wondering how on earth
such a small hospital could be so confusing. With the confidence of an
institutionalized staff member, the nurse led them to a room in the maternity
ward.
“I’m sorry we couldn’t keep her on the pediatric ward, but no room…” The nurse
made a sympathetic face and shrugged her shoulders. “The nurses’ station is
just down the corridor if you need them. Don’t be afraid to use the button. The
doctor has already briefed them and they know what to do. He’ll be back in an
hour or so to check on her again.” With that, she nodded, and turned on her
heels, clacking her way back down the corridor.
There was a single bed in the suite, which Loki gratefully heaved himself up
onto. They wrangled Briana’s bassinet close to the bed and Thor slid up next to
Loki, while Ane and Frigga made themselves comfortable in armchairs.
It was going to be a long wait.
*
Loki had lain down to rest, and so Thor sat at the edge of the bed to watch
over Briana. He kept one hand on Loki’s waist and the other on the edge of the
bassinet. He resisted the urge to touch her, quite certain that she would sense
it was him and wake up only to scream down the hospital again. Ane and Frigga
had found gossip magazines from a table down the corridor and were happily
occupied, accompanied by myriad cups of coffee.
Thor wasn’t sure what time it was when there was a gentle knock on the door. A
moment later it opened quietly, and Farbauti slipped in carefully. She looked
worried, her face pale and drawn. “How is she?” she asked, closing the door
behind her.
“She’s better, sleeping. They were able to bring her temperature down a
little.” Ane rose from her chair to give Farbauti a hug. For the first time,
Thor really saw them as mother and daughter – a very worried daughter.
Frigga put down her magazine and stood up, and Thor, his brain beginning to
catch up, decided to remember his manners. “Oh, um, this is my mom, Frigga.
Mom, this is Loki’s mother, Farbauti.” Again, not really the time or place he
had wanted their mothers to meet. They greeted each other with smiles, the kind
of knowing smiles that made Thor uncomfortable because he sensed they were now
in cahoots together. This was dangerous.
Farbauti cooed over Briana – and was able to touch her without waking her up,
and Thor was not jealous, thank you very much – and then his mother commented
on how cute she was – even red and splotchy?! – and then they were two baby-
obsessed women bonding over infants and sons-who-were-dating-each-other.
Thor rolled his eyes. He pressed his hand down on Loki’s waist and moved over
him a little. “Loki? You awake?” There was no grunt this time, so he could only
assume Loki had really drifted off this time. He wasn’t sure whether or not he
ought to wake him, and hesitated.
“Let him sleep. He’ll need the rest,” Farbauti said, and Thor hadn’t even
realized she’d moved around to the other side of the bed. She leaned down to
kiss Loki’s forehead. “Thank you,” she said to Thor, her voice serious and
sincere. “I’m glad you were there this afternoon. Not just for your help, but
also for being with him.”
Warmth bloomed in Thor’s gut. “That’s ok,” he stammered, not sure if he even
needed to answer at all, and completely unsure of what to say. If Farbauti
noticed, she didn’t say.
*
The doctor came in after an hour, as promised, and pronounced Briana as
improving. He had no updates on the preliminary test results, but was quite
sure it wasn’t meningitis, but rather a virus. There was little they could do
in that case, he said, except ride it out.
Thor didn’t realize that Loki was even awake until after the doctor left. “They
don’t know yet?” Loki asked, his voice heavy with sleep and exhaustion. He
raised an arm in Thor’s general direction.
“Not yet,” Farbauti said, and moved to Loki’s side.
“Mom!” Loki’s face lit up and he seemed to come awake. He held his arms up for
a hug, for which Farbauti obliged. She murmured something to him, which Thor
couldn’t make out, but he figured that he wasn’t meant to hear anyway. Loki
clung to her, face buried in her neck, arms wrapped around her shoulders. He
looked like he didn’t want to let go.
Thor turned back to Briana, feeling a little like he was intruding. She hadn’t
moved, but the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest reassured him. He wasn’t
sure what the doctors had given her, if it was something to make her sleep or
she was just exhausted from crying for so long. Either way, he wasn’t
complaining.
He sensed Farbauti rise behind him, and felt Loki turn on the bed until he was
facing Briana again. “She still sleeping?” Loki asked, his voice hoarse from
sleep.
“Yeah. She hasn’t moved.”
Loki pushed himself up on the bed until he was upright, and leaned forward to
hang over the side of the bassinet. Briana stirred a little at his touch but
didn’t wake. “It’s good she’s sleeping,” Loki mused, sounding like he was half-
asleep himself.
“Uh huh. Speaking of sleeping...” Farbauti glared at her son. “Lay down. We’ll
keep an eye on her.”
Loki grinned sheepishly and did exactly as he was told.
*
Nerves settled a little now that Briana seemed to be on the road to recovery –
though the test for meningitis still hadn’t come back yet, he was trying not to
think about that – Thor managed to devour a hamburger and fries from the
hospital cafeteria. It was either not as bad as it ought to have been or he was
just really, really hungry because it barely touched the sides on the way down.
He followed it with a soda and was surprised at how much better he felt once he
had finished.
Loki was still out like a light. Thor had found a blanket and covered him with
it not long after he’d fallen asleep for the second time, and he was curled up
under it like he hadn’t slept for a month. Neither he nor Briana were stirring
at the sound of voices, and indeed Farbauti, Frigga and Ane were engaged in an
enthusiastic, entirely Norwegian chat while they got to know each other.
Thor decided that he had no choice but to learn this language. He was really
starting to feel left out.
*
Laufey turned up close to 9pm. He looked exhausted and about ready to collapse
on the bed next to Loki, who managed to rouse himself, looking a little better.
“I’m sorry it took me so long,” he said, holding up a tray of coffee - real
coffee, much to the delight of the adults in the room. “How is she doing?”
Farbauti brought him up to date while he dished out the coffee. There was hot
chocolate for Thor and Loki, which was thoughtful, and Thor wondered if Loki
had told him about his aversion to the coffee bean. By now, Loki had pulled
himself out of his repose to drape himself over Thor in an effort to stay
upright.
“How long is this test going to take?” Loki murmured to Thor. “God, I just want
to take her home.”
“It shouldn’t be long,” Thor said, resting his forehead against Loki’s. “We
should be able to get out of here soon.” But he could see the fear in Loki’s
eyes, the fear that he was trying not to give voice to it. Thor was brave
enough to try. “I’m sure the test will be negative.”
Loki stared at him for a moment, as if he was trying to pull Thor’s confidence
into himself, and then nodded, though he looked far from swayed. “Yeah. It
will.” He sounded like he was trying to convince himself, and was failing
miserably.
There was little Thor could do other than be there.
*
It was 10.37pm before the doctor came in with the preliminary results of the
meningitis test. Thor was beginning to feel it, sitting around for so long with
dregs of anxiety sitting in his stomach. The doctor’s arrival was tempered with
relief that something was happening, but with no little dread about what he had
to say. Thor could feel Loki stiffen against him.
The doctor didn’t bother with preliminaries. “We won’t have a definite answer
for another 24-48 hours, but so far the results don’t indicate meningitis. I
think we are looking at the flu or perhaps a viral infection.”
Loki sagged against Thor, unable to say anything. He could hear their parents
murmuring in relief, and the room felt lighter, as if some sort of pall of
gloom had lifted. Loki’s shoulders were shaking and with a start Thor realized
he was crying.
“Hey it’s ok…” Thor pulled Loki up into his arms and let him sob into his
shoulder.
The doctor looked on sympathetically. “Her temperature has come down and I
think the best course of action is for you to go home and keep up with the
medication. Ensure she rests and keep up the fluids. If she gets worse bring
her back straight away.”
Thor hoped that Farbauti was taking notes because Loki definitely wasn’t. His
shirt was wet through and Loki’s chest was heaving as he took deep, shaky
breaths. Thor tightened his arms around him.
When he next looked up Farbauti was talking to the doctor quietly in the
corner, going through what looked like notes and prescriptions. Frigga was bent
over Briana’s bassinet, where she appeared to have been roused by the noise and
was sniffling grumpily. Ane and Laufey, both of whom suddenly looked very old
and very tired, were with her.
Thor suddenly wanted very badly to just get Loki and Briana out of there. He
conflated hospitals with sickness and weakness, and it was a feeling he just
didn’t like. His legs felt restless.
He leaned down to kiss Loki’s forehead. “Hey. You wanna go home?” he asked,
brushing Loki’s hair back over his ear. Loki sniffed and nodded his head,
wiping his eyes with the ends of his sleeves until Ane came forward with some
tissues.
“Yeah. I don’t like this place,” Loki said, trying hard to keep his voice
together.
“Me neither.” Thor helped Loki slide off the bed and then stood up himself.
After so many hours sitting down it felt strange to be back up on his feet.
Thor hadn’t noticed her come in, but a nurse was bent over Briana, giving her
one final check over. He couldn’t quite make out what she was saying, but
Farbauti was listening carefully, asking questions and taking notes on the
sheets of paper the doctor had given her before he’d left. Thor was grateful
for that, because he didn’t think Loki was in the right frame of mind.
He looked shaky on his feet, uncomfortable, and Thor wondered if maybe he ought
to stick him right back on the bed. Loki glared at him, as if to say I know
what you are thinking, and don’t! and Thor wisely decided to let him be. Loki
made his way around to the other side of the bed to Briana, perching himself on
the edge of it again as he bent forward to wrap his hand around the top of her
head.
Briana was grumpy, shifting irritably, though she wasn’t wailing like she had
been before. “When’s the last time she fed?” the nurse asked.
Loki deferred to Ane. “I fed her by bottle just before 4pm. She would only take
half,” Ane said.
“Ok. She’s probably hungry. It would be worth trying again, I think. Whenever
you are ready.” The nurse smiled at Loki. “It’ll help her sleep too.”
Loki nodded. “Yeah. I’ll see if she wants any.”
“Excellent. You’re welcome to stay here until you are ready to leave. Any
questions, just come down to the nurses’ station or use your buzzer.” She
nodded politely and left, closing the door behind her.
“What do you think, Loki? Do want to try feeding her now, before we go home? Or
did you bring a bottle?” Farbauti asked, coming forward to rest a hand on her
son’s shoulder.
Loki looked torn.
“I don’t think I brought a bottle,” Ane said, rummaging through the diaper bag.
“Though we could probably get some from the nurse.”
Loki shook his head. “You know what she’s like with formula. And I don’t want
to give her something she’s not used to when she’s sick.” He picked Briana up
carefully, settling her into his shoulder, where she squirmed and pressed
against his chest with her hand. She looked up at him, as if surprised to be
out of her bassinet, and then pouted. “Maybe I should try now. She seems
hungry.”
“Ok,” Farbauti said. “I think we’ll go get one last cup of coffee. I’ll come
back and see how you are doing in a few minutes alright?”
Loki looked relieved as he nodded. Thor didn’t blame him for not wanting to try
breastfeeding in front of parents that didn’t belong to him. Soon enough they
were left in peace, and Loki squirmed his way back onto the bed.
“Can you get me the diaper bag, please?” he asked, pointing to where it sat in
the corner. Thor fetched it and put it on the bed next to Loki before climbing
on himself.
“Pillow,” Loki said, and it took Thor a moment to realize that he was asking
for one. Thor duly handed one over. “Baby?” Loki said this time, and Thor found
himself at the mercy of a grumpy baby who knew that he was not in possession of
functioning mammary glands.
“I wasn’t prepared for this,” Loki muttered as he wriggled his undershirt down
and his top shirt up. He paused. “Shit.”
“What?” Thor asked, too busy poking faces at Briana in an effort to cheer her
up to see what he was swearing about.
“Nothing. Just, stupid…” Loki sounded so frustrated Thor had to look over.
“It’s gross, sorry,” Loki apologized, thought it was another minute before Thor
realized that he’d leaked over one of the breast pads they’d bought out
shopping. “I haven’t fed her since this morning.”
Thor bit his lip, and let Loki deal with it. There were some things he was
still going to have to get used to. Loki cleaned himself up and asked for
Briana back. Laying her on the pillow, he settled himself back against the bed.
Briana didn’t hesitate and latched on straight away.
“I think she’s hungry,” Thor remarked, watching her go.
“Yep,” Loki said, and winced. “Slow down, you little devil.”
Thor was quite sure that only made Briana go faster.
There was a gentle tap on the door and Farbauti sneaked her head around the
frame. “Everything ok?” she asked.
“Yeah,” Loki said, readjusting Briana’s position. “She’s really hungry.”
Farbauti laughed. “Good to see she has an appetite, at least. Let us know when
you’re ready to head home.”
“Won’t be long, the way she’s going,” Loki said, and pouted.
*
Once Briana had finished and been burped, and Thor had gathered up all their
things, they made their way out into the corridor to find their parents.
Farbauti was halfway through a pile of paperwork, being ably supported by Ane
and Laufey, the latter of whom looked about to fall asleep on his feet. Thor
glanced at the clock – it was nearly midnight.
Briana had fallen asleep after her feed and finally seemed to have settled.
Loki tucked her into her carseat and she barely stirred. They had to wait for
Loki to sign off on everything, and so Thor sank down into a chair that was
thankfully more supportive than the one he had endured before. He was
exhausted.
“Time for bed, hmm?” his mother asked, sitting down next to him.
“Yeah. I think so.” Thor scrubbed his face with his hands. “I don’t like
hospitals.”
“I know,” Frigga said, amused. “You’re lucky you’ve always been a healthy boy.
I’ve never had to take you to the hospital.”
“Never?”
“Never. You even still have your tonsils.”
Thor chuckled. “I wasn’t sure if I hadn’t been or if I just couldn’t remember.”
“Never been. Well, we’ve been here a few times to visit other people, do you
remember?”
“Yeah I remember that. I just don’t remember being in here myself.”
“So that’s here your dislike comes from? Visiting other people?”
“Well, they were usually always pretty sick.”
Frigga laughed. “Oh Thor.”
Loki finished up the paperwork with no little thankfulness to be done. Laufey
carried Briana, leaving Loki with her prescriptions and a sheaf of paper.
“Everything ok?” Thor asked, falling into step with Loki. He looked drawn and
unhappy.
“Yeah. She’s ok, we get to go home. I just want my bed.” Loki sighed, resting
his head on Thor’s shoulder even as they walked. Thor tucked his arm around his
waist to hold him up.
“You’ll feel better after you sleep.”
Loki muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “I’d better”.
Outside, the night air was clear and crisp, with a slight chill to it. It was a
relief after being in the artificial air of the hospital, and Thor drunk it in,
enjoying the feel of it against his overheated skin. The stars were out,
sparkling against the black canopy, and Thor almost walked into a car when he
stared for too long.
Loki laughed at him.
Laufey had parked next to Farbauti, but Frigga’s car was on the other side of
the lot. They stopped, and Thor felt a sudden spike of nausea. He hadn’t
thought about having to go home without Loki. It just seemed wrong right now.
Loki was looking at him like he’d been betrayed.
“No, stay,” Loki said, and it was the first time Thor had ever heard him be
petulant, and Loki was holding onto his arms like he couldn’t let go. “Please,”
he begged, and suddenly looked like he was going to cry.
Thor looked to his mother in desperation. He couldn’t leave Loki like this. It
wasn’t going to help anyone or anything. Frigga sighed, and looked at Farbauti.
Farbauti shrugged. “He’s welcome to stay.”
Frigga gave Thor one of those we’ll talk about this later looks, but then came
forward for a hug. “I expect you home for dinner tomorrow night,” she said
quietly but firmly into his ear.
Thor just nodded, too grateful for this to open his mouth and ruin it. “Thank
you,” he managed eventually. Frigga smiled and nodded, and kissed him on his
forehead. Thor tried hard not to be embarrassed.
“Thank you,” Loki said, a little timidly, as if he was slightly ashamed at
being so upset at the thought of Thor leaving. Frigga looked as though she was
going to say something, then thought better of it and gave Loki a hug instead.
Loki looked so fragile Thor was crossing his fingers that he wouldn’t snap like
a twig.
“Home,” Farbauti said firmly, after goodbyes all round. “Car. Go.”
Both Thor and Loki were happy to obey.
*
Thor had never been so pleased to see a bed in all his life. Loki practically
collapsed onto it, spread out like a starfish while Thor literally stood there
holding the baby.
“…Loki?”
“Mmmmph,” Loki said into his pillow.
“Should we put Briana to bed?”
“Mmmmph.” But then he rolled over and half fell/half climbed off the bed until
he was on his feet again. “But she stays in here,” Loki said, his tone calling
for no argument, though Thor didn’t have one anyway. He could see why Loki
didn’t want her to be away from them.
“Where’s she gonna sleep?”
“She has a travel cot. Should be in the closet in her room.”
Thor let Loki look for it while he sat down on the bed with Briana. She was
fighting sleep, having woken up when they’d gotten home. She gave him a look
that might have said ‘I don’t like you but you’ll do’ and then gave in and fell
asleep in his lap. He suddenly had an aversion to moving.
“This thing’s stupid, I can’t even remember how to put it up,” Loki complained,
lugging a box in through the door. He stopped when he saw Thor on the bed. “I’d
ask you to help but I see you’re occupied.”
Thor grinned sheepishly.
In the end, Laufey and Loki managed to get everything in the right place and
the travel cot set up. Loki pulled it close to his bed and then lined it with
blankets and soft toys from the crib in the nursery. Very carefully, he picked
up Briana and laid her in the cot to rest.
Loki sat down on the bed with a groan. “God I hope she sleeps through the
night,” he muttered into his hands.
Thor rubbed his back. “I don’t mind getting up.”
“Thank you,” Loki said, and smushed his face into Thor’s shoulder. “Though your
lack of breasts might be a problem.”
“She can deal,” Thor said, not bothering to hide his grin.
Loki laughed and freed himself from Thor. “She doesn’t know how to deal. If she
wants something, she screams until she gets it. That’s just how it works around
here.” He crawled up the bed behind Thor until he reached his bedside table. “I
can’t wait until she’s a teenager.”
Thor chuckled. “Got a few years to get used to it.”
“More than just a few,” Loki said darkly, rummaging through the mess on the
table until he found a packet of ibuprofen. He held it in his fist and looked
triumphant.
“You ok?” Thor asked. Loki hadn’t looked well all night but he’d just put that
down to anxiety about Briana.
“Yeah. I’ll live.” Loki downed two pills and a glass of water before curling up
on his side.
Thor was going to let it go until something triggered his memory. “Is it your
stomach again?” he asked, concerned.
“It’s nothing,” Loki said shortly.
That didn’t mollify Thor. “You want me to get your mom?”
“No. She’s got enough to deal with. I kept her up all night.”
“She’s still up.”
“I don’t care. Drop it.”
Thor was a little startled. Loki had never been so terse with him before, so
unwilling to tell him anything. The knot in his stomach that had been there all
night started to harden, just a little. Something didn’t seem right. “Are you
sure?” he asked tentatively.
Loki sat up. Half of his hair had fallen over his face but he still managed to
look pissed. “What part of ‘drop it’ don’t you understand?”
“I’m just asking if you’re ok!”
“I told you I’m ok!”
“Then why do you need painkillers?”
“Because you’re giving me a fucking headache!” Loki’s face was flushed, his
eyes flashing with anger. Thor had never seen him like this before. It was time
to concede defeat.
“Ok.”
“Fine!” Loki threw himself back down on his bed and buried his face in a
pillow. Thor wasn’t quite sure what to do now, feeling a little awkward. They’d
never really fought like this before. It was an odd – and disturbing – feeling.
He was saved by the knock on the door. He guessed that one of the adults had
heard their fight and come to check up on them, and he wasn’t happy about it
but it was best to reassure them and send them on their way. He got up slowly.
Farbauti was on the other side of the door. She seemed oblivious to their
argument though, and smiled broadly when Thor opened the door. “Your mom is
here,” she said.
“My mom?” Thor was confused.
“She’s brought you some clothes.”
Oh. Thor gave one last glance back at Loki, who was still on his side and
pretending not to listen. He happily followed Farbauti down the hallway.
His mom was in the living room, chatting to Ane, a bag in her hand.
“Sweetheart,” she said when she saw him. “Here. Toothbrush, clothes, a few
other things.”
Did Thor mention his mother was wonderful? “Thank you,” he said, taking the bag
gratefully.
“Isn’t that what mothers are for?” she said wryly. “Sleep well, honey. I’d
better get going.”
It was strange, to see her walk out the door and be left behind in a house that
wasn’t home.
*
Loki had changed and was under the covers when he got back to his room. Thor
was pretty sure he wasn’t sleeping but decided to let him be. He changed
quickly, brushed his teeth, gave Briana a quick kiss, turned off the lights and
wrangled his way into the bed in the dark.
Whenever he had thought of actually being able to spend the night with Loki,
this was never how it had gone. The both of them not speaking, the remnants of
an argument drifting between them. He had always imagined instead a distinct
lack of clothes and much physical activity. He kept his unhappiness about the
situation to himself, not wanting to antagonize Loki any further.
His eyes adjusted to the dark slowly. He could see Briana’s cot on the other
side of Loki, and hoped she was sleeping well. Loki’s shoulders were rigid and
tense, belying his residual resentment. Thor fought with himself internally for
a few minutes, and then decided to hell with it – if Loki kicked him out, he’d
sleep in the cot in the nursery overnight.
He shuffled towards Loki, knowing he’d been spotted when Loki’s shoulders
tensed even further. They felt rock hard when Thor slid his arm over them,
wrangling the other under Loki until he was wrapped in his arms. Loki lay
straight and uncomfortable in his arms, but Thor didn’t give up.
“I’m not having sex with you,” Loki said eventually.
“I don’t want sex. I just want you to stop being unhappy.”
Thor knew he had succeeded when Loki sighed, the mere exhale of breath allowing
him to relax.
“You suck,” Loki mumbled grumpily, and in the dark, Thor smiled.
Chapter End Notes
     Soooo.... please ignore my little medical misadventure in this
     chapter. I tried to google, I really did, but FLIP the contradicting
     advice out there in internet-land is kinda scary.
     Also, I have no idea how health insurance, doctor's visits, hospital
     visits etc work in the US, so apologies for any screw ups :O
***** Chapter 21 *****
Chapter Notes
     Woot! A new chapter without months passing by in the meantime! haha.
     This is a little shorter than I would like as I have a big essay to
     do for university and I need to concentrate on it, and this wouldn't
     leave me alone.
     I am keen to really start getting on with the story at large here so
     if this chapter seems a little different, it's because I'm ultra-
     secretly setting plots in motion.
If Thor thought spending the night with Loki would be in any way, shape or form
romantic, peaceful, or loving he was rudely disavowed of that notion. He was
woken first at 3.17am by persistent, grumpy crying from the crib next to the
bed. He lay there for a few minutes, wondering if Loki was awake, or if he
would wake, and had to concede defeat when it was clear that wherever Loki was,
it wasn’t in the land of the living.
Sighing, he stumbled out of bed and around to the crib. Briana was snotty and
annoyed, her face screwed up. In case it was fever again, he checked her
forehead, which seemed warm but nowhere near as overheated as she had been last
night. Then the air changed, and he could tell without even picking her up she
needed to be changed. Suddenly, his face was as wrinkled and grumpy as hers.
Thor started to wonder why he had agreed to stay the night. Hoping against
hope, he studied Loki’s outline for any signs he was near rousing, but was
disappointed. He was torn between having to change Briana himself, or wake Loki
– and since Loki had been feeling ill, he didn’t want to disturb his sleep.
His mother’s words ringing in his ears, Thor carefully picked up Briana, and
avoiding her diaper area completely, carried her into the nursery. He closed
the door and switched on the light before laying her on the changing table.
There were vague memories of the time Loki had attempted to show him how to
change a diaper, but those were mostly a blur. He wondered if he could Google
it.
In the end, he sucked up all his courage and just went for it. It was gross,
and smelly, and at one point he thought he was going to puke, but he made it.
Loki had everything lined up on the side of the changing table and Thor managed
to figure out what everything was for. Though, really, most of it was self-
explanatory, like the wet wipes.
In the end there was a fresh diaper on Briana, she was clean and (somewhat)
happy, and all the nasties had been disposed of in the diaper bin. It had taken
20 minutes, but he had done it. Whether or not the diaper was on the right way
around was a discussion for another day.
Feeling very proud of himself (and eager to get some fresh air) he carried
Briana back into the bedroom and laid her back down to sleep. She managed a
slightly grateful look – or that may have been ‘what took you so long, you
blundering oaf’ – before closing her eyes again. Thor watched her for a few
minutes to make sure she was ok before heading to the bathroom to wash his
hands 16 times.
Loki was still asleep when he got back. Thor snuck under the covers as
carefully as he could and pulled Loki back into his arms, holding him tight as
Loki squirmed in his sleep and settled his head into the crook of his shoulder.
He could get used to this, diapers and all.
*
His next rude awakening was at 6.48am. Briana was officially hungry, and
nothing but mommy’s milk would do. Loki was already awake, or half-way awake at
least, his eyes barely open all the way.
“Morning,” he mumbled to Thor, who took a while to gather up the loose ends of
his brain and parrot the same back.
Loki slid out of bed, taking a moment to find his bearings before heaving
himself upright and toddling over to Briana’s cot. He murmured to her as he
picked her up, checking her forehead and looking relieved that it didn’t seem
to be high.
“Come on, breakfast time then,” he said, slipping back into bed. “You need a
bath, and fresh clothes, and -” Loki pursed his lips and tilted his head,
looking confused. “That’s not the diaper I put on you last night.”
Thor panicked. “Is it backwards?” he asked, rather terrified at the answer.
Loki stared at him for a while. “What?”
“The diaper. Is it, you know, backwards? Upside down? Inside out?”
Loki looked confused for a moment more before he began to laugh. “Did you
change her in the middle of the night?”
“Yes.” Thor suspected he was beginning to turn red.
“Oh my god. You are wonderful.” It appeared that Thor had been forgiven for
their argument last night. “No, the diaper is fine. Good job. It’s just that
it’s a daytime diaper, not a nighttime one. That’s all. It’s on the right way,
I promise you.”
“Oh thank god.”
“You really changed her?”
Thor wasn’t sure if it was a question or a statement. “Yes,” he said
tentatively.
“You figured it out.”
“I did think about Googling it for a while.”
Loki laughed and looked down at Briana, who was happily nursing away. “Thank
you,” he said, suddenly quite serious. “And I’m sorry… for being mad last
night.”
Thor swallowed. “It’s ok. I get it. And I’m sorry for prying.”
Loki didn’t say anything for a little while, and Thor wondered if he’d said
something wrong. He was about to apologize again when Loki looked at him. “It
was late, and I was really tired, but that’s no excuse. I was being stupid. I
don’t want you to be mad at me.”
“I’m not mad at you.”
“Thank you,” Loki said after a moment, his voice laden with exhaustion. He
looked like he was about fall asleep, and shifted until he was lying back
against the pillows.
“Can you breastfeed and sleep at the same time?” Thor asked.
“I’m an excellent multi-tasker,” Loki said, and yawned. He shifted Briana to
his other breast and then closed his eyes. “Sleep is underrated.”
Thor felt his pain. “I can keep an eye on her.”
Loki mumbled something that didn’t seem to make sense, but before Thor could
ask him what he was going on about it was clear he had fallen asleep. Smiling,
Thor shuffled closer and made sure Briana didn’t fall off.
*
Briana was woozy after her feed, but apparently stubborn enough to deny Thor
more sleep for a little while yet. He tucked her over his shoulder and walked
around the room, jiggling her a little, like he’d seen people do in the movies.
It only seemed to piss her off though, so he ditched the wriggling.
She was babbling away quite happily in a language that Thor didn’t understand,
strands of drool making their appearance at regular intervals. He wiped them
away before they dared land on him.
“You’re a drool-monster,” he said to her. She stared back, her mouth open, a
particularly impressive length of drool hanging from it. “See what I mean.”
She screwed up her face.
There was a soft knock on the door. “Who’s that, bubba? Should we see?” Thor
asked, affecting a silly voice before realizing with wide eyes that he had
finally succumbed to baby language. Briana giggled at his misfortune as he
frowned, poking out his lower lip. She giggled even more.
Sighing, Thor opened the door. Farbauti, looking as sleepy as Thor felt, looked
relieved to see she hadn’t actually woken him up. “I wasn’t sure if either of
you would be up yet. But I have some medicine for her.”
As if she knew what the word ‘medicine’ meant, Briana started to cry.
Startled by her rapid transformation from happy but sleepy baby to angry,
unhappy baby, Thor nearly thrust her at Farbauti in fear.
“She does that,” Farbauti said, winking. “You’ll get used to it.”
“It’ll keep happening?!”
On the bed, Loki stirred and opened an eye. “What’d you do to her?” he half
groaned into his pillow.
“Trying to poison her, apparently,” Farbauti mused wryly, doing her best to get
Briana to open her mouth.
“Oooofff,” Loki said in reply, and went back to sleep.
“He’s very concerned,” Thor said dryly.
Farbauti bit her lip very hard in an effort not to laugh. “C’mon sweetie,” she
coaxed, going for the ‘softly-softly’ option first. She’d put the medicine into
a tiny oral syringe, and quite frankly, Thor thought he wouldn’t be very happy
about having that stuck down his throat either. “It’ll make you feel better,”
she cooed, and Briana gave her a very nasty look. It only made Farbauti laugh.
Thor tightened his grip, just a little, and in the moment it took for Briana to
look at him, her expression looking utterly betrayed, Farbauti took the
opportunity to tuck the syringe in the side of her mouth. She looked horrified
at first, but soon discovered that whatever it was was rather tasty, and her
entire demeanor changed as she let Farbauti push all the medicine through.
“There. That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Farbauti said, kissing Briana on her head.
“Good work, Thor.”
He smiled quite proudly.
*
Briana fell asleep quite quickly after that, and so did Thor. Loki curled up
into him, everything warm and quiet and still.
*
The next time Thor woke Loki was nowhere in sight, and neither was Briana. The
clock on the bedside table told him it was 10.18am, and feeling a lot better
for the extra sleep, Thor swung out of bed. He had a pressing need to visit the
bathroom and so headed there first, but voices and splashing told him it was
otherwise occupied.
He was about leave it and just cross his legs when he realized it was Loki. The
door was slightly ajar so he pushed it open carefully, knocking first.
“Hey sleepyhead,” Loki said, smiling, and looking a hell of a lot better.
“Hey you.” Thor came through and shut the door behind him. “What are you
doing?”
“Bath time.” Indeed, Briana was literally in the bathroom sink. Loki was
soaked, and looking rather resigned as Briana bashed the water with her fists
and sent a volley of water towards him. There was a puddle beneath his feet.
Thor suppressed a laugh. “Nice.”
Loki pouted.
“Well, she’s feeling better, isn’t she?” Thor pointed out.
Unfortunately, Loki didn’t seem to share his enthusiasm. “She’s still
irritable. Normally she likes baths but she doesn’t usually act like this.”
There wasn’t much Thor could say to that. He wrapped his arms around Loki’s
middle, settling his chin on his shoulder. It said something about Briana’s
water-splashing abilities that Thor’s arms too were soon wet, both from Loki’s
shirt and from subsequent missives.
It didn’t help that he really, really needed to pee.
Thankfully, with the mess that Briana was making, Loki was not in the mood to
drag it out. He finished as soon as he could and dried her quickly, wrapping
her in a big, fluffy towel until only her head was poking out.
“Time for clothes, young lady,” Loki said. “Then I get to mop the floor, thanks
to you.” From her little nest in his arms, Briana finally smiled and looked
very pleased with herself. “You coming?” Loki asked, when Thor didn’t follow
them out the door.
“I gotta go,” Thor said sheepishly.
He could hear Loki laughing even from behind the closed door.
*
Farbauti stuffed them full of pancakes until they couldn’t move. Briana was
given half a pancake but didn’t bother to eat it, and just played with it until
it was in a thousand pieces - everywhere. Then, she fell asleep in it.
Thor tried really hard not to laugh, but failed.
“More mess!” Loki wailed, incredibly disappointed after only just recovering
from taking fifteen minutes just to dry out the bathroom. “Send her back, I
think she’s defective.”
Laufey snorted into his coffee while Farbauti gave Loki a fond smack to the
back of his head. “And you’re cleaning that up.”
Loki pouted.
“I’ll help,” Thor whispered to him, for which Loki looked immensely grateful.
“You got mail yesterday, Loki,” Farbauti said, dropping a letter in front of
him. “I forgot to give it to you last night.”
Loki tore it open with sticky fingers. Thor wasn’t sure who it was from, but it
looked official.
“Maggie wants to come this week. Thursday afternoon at 4pm.”
Thor had no idea who Maggie was, but her name got the attention of everyone
else.
“What for?” Farbauti asked, looking confused. “She’s not due for another visit
for two weeks.”
Loki shrugged, and kept reading. “Something about changes to… well, she doesn’t
really say. I don’t think I’m in trouble though.” He held the letter up for his
mother who took it straight away.
“You’d better not be, you haven’t done anything wrong,” she said, sounding
rather defensive.
Thor started to feel a bit worried. “Who’s Maggie?” he hissed at Loki, while
Laufey, Ane and Farbauti poured over the letter.
“Social worker. She checks up on me and Briana, makes sure we have everything
we need, that I’m not neglecting her or anything. She’s pretty cool, but yeah,
like mom said, she’s not supposed to be coming back for a little bit.”
It seemed to Thor like Loki was trying to pass it off as nothing, but the
worried glint in his eye and the way he was chewing on his lower lip belied
him.
“Do you think she heard about the hospital visit?” Farbauti asked the room at
large.
“Which one,” Laufey said wryly, raising an eyebrow.
“You don’t think the hospital…” Ane didn’t finish her sentence. Loki suddenly
looked very anxious.
“They can’t have, she wrote the letter before we had to go back to the hospital
yesterday,” Loki said defensively. “Surely she can’t be worried about that. And
I got the letter from the specialist and sent it to them so they knew why she
was in hospital that first time.”
“I know, sweetheart,” Farbauti said, her smile probably hoping to soothe Loki,
but it looked a little forced to Thor. “It’s probably nothing. I might phone
them on Monday just to check.”
Loki nodded his head, but looked unhappy about the whole thing.
“Look, there’s no use worrying about it now, and no doubt it’s probably worry
over nothing anyway. We’ll worry about it closer to the time,” Ane said,
folding up the letter and putting it safely on a large cabinet on the side of
the room. “If they had any major concerns they wouldn’t be advising by letter
they’ll be here in a week, they would come straight away.”
“That’s true,” Farbauti said, and sighed. “Loki, I think Briana needs a lay
down.”
“She is laying down,” Loki said darkly, making Farbauti shake her head and
laugh.
“You know what I mean. It’ll be a few days before she’s right again. I suggest
that for now, we enjoy the peace and quiet.”
“Don’t say that too soon,” Laufey warned, pointing the rolled up newspaper at
his wife. “The last time you said that she cried for five hours.”
Farbauti cringed. “How could I forget that night.”
“I haven’t,” Ane muttered. “A pair of lungs on her or what.”
Loki picked her up carefully, and patted her back as she lay against his
shoulder, still fast asleep. A piece of pancake was stuck to her cheek. “She
can’t help it.”
“She can’t, you’re right,” Farbauti conceded fondly, prying off the pancake.
“And I do remember you being a little similar when you were her age.”
Loki made a face. “I was that loud?”
“You were that loud,” Farbauti, Laufey, and Ane all said at once.
“Hmmmphh,” Loki said. “I’m sure I had my reasons.”
“And so does she,” Farbauti said. “Now go get her into bed.”
Thor still had half a pancake to go, so Loki went to lay her down on his own,
not that Thor thought he needed his help or anything. Once he was finished he
helped Farbauti tidy up the kitchen, even clearing up Briana’s mess so Loki
didn’t have to do it once he had her settled.
“I might have to keep you on,” Farbauti said, admiring his table cleaning
skills. “I do have to say we seem to spend an inordinate amount of time
cleaning up after the youngest member of the household, though.”
“She’s getting handsy,” Laufey interjected as he came into the kitchen for a
glass of orange juice. “Nothing is sacred anymore. She tried to teethe on a
pile of contracts the other day.”
“I got them dry, don’t worry about it,” Farbauti said, flinging a dishtowel in
his general direction.
“But saliva stains,” Laufey complained. “And I won’t mention my favorite tie.”
“You just did.”
Laufey conceded. “That I did. But I’m still in mourning.”
“Oh shush,” Farbauti said, and smacked the back of his hand in much the same
way she had done to Loki’s earlier. Laufey looked contrite.
“Thank you, Thor,” Farbauti said, turning to him. “I think everything is done
in here that needs to be done. Do you want to take one down to Loki?” Farbauti
handed him two glasses of orange juice and sent him on his way, no doubt
planning to continue her banter with her husband.
He pushed through the open door to Loki’s room, careful not to spill any of the
drinks. Briana had awoken at some point and was now fighting sleep in her cot,
blinking her eyes in an effort to stay awake. Loki sat next to her on the bed,
trying to soothe her into sleep.
“Not interested in sleeping, huh?” Thor asked, sitting down beside him and
handing him a glass.
Loki drained half the glass before he replied. “Apparently not. I give her
maybe another minute or so, if that. She’s more tired than she thinks.”
“She sleeps a lot,” Thor observed.
“Only cos she’s sick. If she wasn’t, we’d be playing or something right about
now. And you know her, she’s usually a lot happier than this.”
“Yeah. That’s true.” Thor remembered playing with her on the bed, watching her
as she moved around, grimacing as she stood on his groin. Good times.
They were silent for a moment, watching Briana as she caved into sleep and
closed her eyes. Thor was reminded of the letter that Loki had opened that
morning. A little twinge of anxiety poked into his stomach as he remembered how
worried Loki had been about it.
“Is everything ok, you know with that letter coming and everything?” Thor asked
awkwardly, the question not coming out quite as he’d envisaged. He cringed.
Loki didn’t seem to notice. “Yeah, it should be fine.” He sighed. “I dunno
exactly why she’s coming out, and that’s just a bit weird to me, I guess. I
want to know why. I don’t think there’s a problem or she would have come out
earlier.”
“Do you see her a lot?” Thor asked.
“Not as much as we used to. When we first arrived her she came every week to
make sure I was settling in and I was going to school and all that. She’s
supposed to come once every 3 weeks at the moment.”
“What does she do?” Thor asked, curious.
Loki shrugged. “A lot, really. Makes sure that I’m getting what I’m entitled
to, that I go to school and that Briana is being looked after while I’m not
there, and that I’m getting good grades. She makes sure I can talk to other
people in the same situation as I am so I know I’m not alone. Lots of advice,
stuff on budgeting, not getting pregnant again, that sort of thing. Most of the
time she brings free stuff too, it’s kind of a bonus.”
“Free stuff?”
“Yeah. Diapers, clothes, baby food, stuff for me too. It’s cool. It helps, all
of it does. If I need any advice about anything, she’ll help me, or find
someone who can help me if she can’t. But also she has to make sure that Briana
is ok. That I’m not leaving her alone unsupervised or not feeding her or
abusing her or something.”
“But you wouldn’t do that,” Thor said, a little angry on his boyfriend’s
behalf.
“I know, so does she,” Loki said, an appreciative smile on his face at Thor’s
outburst. “But that’s just her job. She has to do it for every baby she works
with. She says sometimes they have to take the babies away if they find stuff
like that.”
“Wow.”
“I know. I don’t know how someone could treat their baby like that, but some
people do. It’s just… I don’t think I could do anything to hurt her, you know?
It would hurt me, to do that. I can’t stand seeing her in pain. She’s going to
grow up to be a really spoiled kid because I don’t like seeing her upset!” Thor
laughed at that, which made Loki glare at him. “I’m serious, Thor!”
“I know, I know.” Thor held up his hands in placation. “She’ll still be mommy’s
little girl when she’s 30.”
“Damn right she will,” Loki grumbled. He threw himself backwards on the bed,
huffing. “Ugh. I still feel like shit.”
Thor didn’t think that sounded particularly great. “Your stomach?” he asked
tentatively, bracing himself for impact.
But Loki didn’t react the same way he had last night. “No. Just overall, I’m
feeling like shit. Fuzzy. Gross.”
“Tired?”
“Yeah, I guess.” He sat back up suddenly. “I need to go drown myself under
copious amounts of hot water.”
“You want to go have a shower.”
“Isn’t that what I just said?”
Thor threw a pillow at him. “Don’t drown too long. I’ll just be sitting here,
staring at your wallpaper.”
“I do have books, you know. And a television. And a young child.”
“I think between the four of them I’ll find something to do.”
“My wallpaper really isn’t that fascinating.”
“Speak for yourself.”
Loki just stared at him until Thor broke and started laughing. “Oh thank god. I
thought you were serious and you’d gone crazy.”
“The jury’s out.”
Loki rolled his eyes and pushed Thor over onto the bed. “I’ll be back.”
“Have fun.”
“Would be more fun if you could join me.”
“That could be arranged.”
“Not while my parents are home it can’t be.”
“You’re not adventurous at all.”
“I am! It’s just, there are some things my parents don’t need to find out. Or
hear.”
“Another time then.”
“Another time.” Loki picked out a clean change of clothes, kissed both Thor and
Briana, and left them to it.
*
Thor gave up on the wallpaper after half a minute. Briana was cute, but
watching sleeping babies was only cute for so long, and most of the books on
Loki’s shelf just, well, didn’t seem his ‘type’. He settled for a rerun of
Firefly on the television, keeping the volume down low.
He was so engrossed he didn’t even realize that Loki had snuck back into the
room until he was attacked from behind. Loki slid his arms around Thor’s waist
and pulled him backwards, until he was half sprawled over him, limbs
everywhere.
“Loki! What was that?” Thor asked, laughing.
“Couldn’t resist,” Loki said. “Now get off of me, you’re heavy.”
Thor forgot about the television as he wriggled around on the bed to face Loki.
“You look better,” he said honestly.
“I feel better,” Loki said, and yawned as he stretched his arms above his head.
“Though I think I could sleep for a week.”
“You should take a nap.”
“No. I have a test next week, I have to study.”
“So do I. You don’t see me panicking, do you?”
“You should be! What subject?”
“Economics.”
Loki grimaced. “Yeah, you really should be studying. So should I.”
“A couple of hours won’t make a difference.”
Loki scowled. “They might. And I don’t know how Briana is going to be for the
rest of the weekend, if we are going to need to go back to hospital or not. I
should study while I have the chance, while she’s sleeping.”
The idea of studying for a test when it wasn’t the night before was so foreign
to Thor he was having trouble grasping the concept. “But… sleep?”
Loki glared at him. “No sleep. No sex either, if that’s what you’re aiming at.
Not in front of Briana, anyway. Study time.”
Thor pouted. “I didn’t mean sex, though I wouldn’t say no. I just think you
need some more sleep.”
“Yeah, well, I’ll live. Quiz me on my Classics, will you?” he asked, tossing a
large textbook with a bust of some old, probably long dead, guy on the cover at
Thor.
And, so, that morning Thor found out that the Democrats hadn’t invented
democracy, the Greeks actually had something to do with that; Achilles was a
bit of a badass, quite possibly more than Chuck Norris, and the Greeks really,
really had a thing for naked people on vases.
“What is this, the Greek version of Playboy?” Thor asked, turning the book
upside down so he could see better. “Woah woah wait are they actually doing
it?!”
In the end, Loki had to take the book away.
“What about your work?” he asked, just the sort of question that Thor didn’t
want to hear.
“It’s fine,” he said, lying through his teeth.
“Uh huh.”
“It is!”
“Then why don’t I believe you?” Loki asked, smirking.
“Because you’re secretly a mind-reader?”
“I would be having far too much fun with that to be in here studying.”
“I guess so.”
“So not going so well then?”
“Nope.”
And that’s how Thor found himself being coached in Economics by someone who
didn’t even take the subject, but still knew more about it than he did. They
spent an hour just going over the basics, and by the end of it, Thor had a
better grasp of Economics than he’d gotten from the entire year so far. Loki
explained things so simply that it was hard not to understand. Thor wished his
teacher had the same way of explaining things. He mightn’t be failing
otherwise.
“So when is your test?” Loki asked, declaring a break.
“Wednesday, 4th period.”
“We can do some more on Monday and Tuesday then.”
Thor wanted to say no. It wasn’t that he wasn’t grateful, far from it, it was
just that there were other things he would prefer to be doing with Loki than
studying Economics. As if Loki knew what he was thinking, he smiled, and
whispered into his ear. “If you pass this test, I’ll let you do whatever you
want.”
Loki’s voice went straight to his groin. He swallowed, hard. “Anything?” he
asked, the very thought making his dick stir in his jeans.
“Well, within reason,” Loki clarified, but his smirk nearly said otherwise.
“Now, come on, I need some cookies.”
*
When Thor left later that day, it was with a kiss to Loki’s cheek as he lay
sleeping on the bed. He’d literally passed out in the middle of re-reading his
notes, and Thor couldn’t blame him. Briana had only woken up for a feed, diaper
change and medicine before going back to sleep, and between the both of them,
they were racking up some rather impressive sleeping miles.
“You off?” Farbauti asked, busy folding laundry at the dining table.
“Yeah. My mom wants me home for dinner.”
“Of course.” Farbauti put down the shirt she was folding to enclose Thor in a
hug. “Thank you, so much, for everything this weekend. I know it can’t be easy
for you either.”
Not sure what to say, Thor kept his mouth closed and blushed instead. Farbauti
smiled fondly at him. “And you make Loki very happy. I’m sorry to embarrass
you, but I’m so glad you’re become a part of our lives.”
Forget the red cheeks, Thor thought he was about to cry.
Not unaware of the effect she was having, Farbauti let him go, telling him he
was welcome whenever he wanted, and to come back for lunch the next day. “We
eat at 12.30. Don’t bring anything.”
Thor nodded, too worried if he said anything his voice would crack, and waved
goodbye.
*
For the first time in what seemed like, ever, Thor did schoolwork that night.
Loki’s tutoring had helped him understand what he was doing, and he found,
going back through his coursework, that he could start to see what he was
supposed to be doing. He even managed to correct some of his previous work,
which made him feel very proud.
He managed two hours of revision before Loki Skyped him, and then that was
that.
*
As for the drama with Briana and the hospital – Thor did suffer through a
slightly awkward breakfast conversation the next day with his father that
eventually ended with he and his mother against Odin, who wasn’t entirely
impressed with either of them.
“Thor did the right thing,” his mother insisted again. “Briana needed to see a
doctor and it wasn’t enough of an emergency to tie up this town’s single
ambulance.”
“I realize that,” his father said, still chewing on a piece of bacon. “But he
didn’t even make it home until yesterday afternoon.”
“So?” Thor said defiantly. “It was the weekend. It wasn’t like I missed any
school.”
“But you should have been at home.”
“So I could do what?”
Odin shrugged. “Study? The end of the school year is coming up. You have your
SATs to study for. You should have begun weeks ago.”
Thanks to his work last night, Thor could be a little smug. Just a little. “I
am studying. Loki is helping me.”
Odin stopped chewing. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, that yesterday, when I was apparently doing nothing at Loki’s house,
he was helping me with my Economics. Look, I’ll show you.” Thor’s fork banged
loudly on the plate as he dropped it, making his mother wince. “I’ll be back.”
He thundered up the stairs and pulled his Economics books from his desk before
heading back downstairs.
“Look,” he said, and pulled out the sheets of paper he and Loki had been
working on yesterday. They had filled page after page with notes and diagrams.
“This is what we did yesterday. I didn’t understand any of it but Loki helped
me, now I get it.”
Odin raised an eyebrow at him. He conceded by nodding his head. “Good to hear.
But if you’re having trouble with your schoolwork, you should tell your
teacher.”
Thor sat back down at the table. He had no interest in skirting around any of
this, he just wasn’t in the mood. “I did. So he tried to show me, but I still
didn’t get it because it wasn’t any different to how he showed us in class. I
didn’t want to make him think I was stupid so I told him I understood. Loki
explains it completely differently.”
Odin was reading through the notes in Thor’s book. “This is good stuff,” he
said, sounding a little resigned that he even had to say it. He closed the book
with a snap. “Fine. If you keep this up, I’m alright with you spending more
time there. I expect to see it reflected in your marks.”
Thor gulped. “Yes.”
“Good.”
Thor decided he was finished, and carried his plate to the sink with a quiet
‘thank you’ to his mom and a kiss on her cheek. He had one foot out of the
kitchen door when his father asked him to wait.
“She’s alright now, isn’t she?” he asked, his quiet demeanor and the worried
creases on his forehead belying the concern he had been hiding.
Thor paused. He hadn’t thought his father had been that worried, but then
again, he was friends with Laufey, wasn’t he? “Yeah. She’s doing ok. I think
they are still waiting for the final results from the hospital though.”
His father nodded, said no more, and returned to his paper.
Thor smiled and climbed the stairs to his bedroom. He had a lunch to get ready
for.
*
Loki greeted him the second he walked through the door with a gigantic hug.
Thor, startled, grasped him back and started to laugh. “What’s the occasion?”
he asked.
“Briana’s tests results came back, she just has a virus,” Loki said into Thor’s
neck, tightening his hold.
“No more hospital?” Thor asked, squeezing Loki so tight around his waist he
squealed.
“No! Thor! Not for now, anyway. Knowing her we’ll be back in next week,” Loki
said dryly. He kissed Thor’s throat and then relinquished his hold. “I’ve told
her she’s not allowed to get sick again.”
“Oh?” Thor raised his eyebrows. “And what did she say to that?”
“She pretty much blew a raspberry. Oh shush,” Loki said as Thor began to
chuckle, and pretended to push him over. “Come on, food’s nearly ready.”
The mood at lunch was almost joyous. There was a palpable sense of relief now
that Briana’s tests results had come back clear, and for the first time that
weekend everyone was able to relax. The lady of honor joined in when she woke
up, staring around and looking rather bemused at everyone. At Loki’s urging she
tried a little mashed potato, and seemed to enjoy it, even holding out a hand
for some more once she’d finished.
Thor and Loki did the washing up slowly and lazily, throwing bubbles at each
other until half the kitchen bench was covered. Loki hurriedly cleaned it up
before his mother noticed while Thor covered for him.
Ane was pacing around the living room with Briana on her shoulder, who’d
decided she’d had enough sleep for the weekend and no longer needed her regular
after-lunch nap.
“Medicine worked a little too well, huh?” Loki said dryly as he took Briana
from her. He bounced her a couple of times in his arms, making her giggle. “At
least she’s not as pissed off as she was.”
“Loki!” Ane admonished, before laughing. “Not in front of the children.”
Loki made a face at Briana before poking his tongue out. “Fancy a walk?” he
said to Thor. “I think I could do with getting out of the house and it might
make her fall asleep.”
“Sure.”
Thor couldn’t quite believe the amount of things they had to take for a simple
walk. There was the diaper bag, stuffed to the brim, plus drinks, snacks, a
sunhat, and even a waterproof cover for the stroller despite the fact that the
day was clear and bright with not a cloud in sight. Thor was surprised that
they actually remembered the baby.
Briana happily set to decimating a teething ring as they set off down the
sidewalk. Without thinking about it they headed for the park down the street,
taking their time. It was pleasant out and they weren’t the only walkers, but
still, it seemed to Thor that they were in their own little world. The fresh
air and sun seemed to work wonders on Loki, who had been looking even paler
than normal for the past couple of days, and no surprise. But now, he could
relax, and it looked like it was working.
Briana was too young for the playground, so they wandered down to the same
willow tree they had sat under together before. Loki appreciated the shade for
Briana, and Thor appreciated the privacy. Pulling a blanket out of the bottom
of the stroller – Thor wondered what else was under there – Loki laid it on the
ground before laying Briana out on top of it. She stretched out her arms and
legs and giggled before flailing them around madly.
“Well, she does seem to be feeling better,” Loki commented, and bent down to
blow a raspberry on Briana’s stomach.
“It’s been a long weekend,” Thor pointed out. “I think I could do with a week
off school to recover.”
Loki swatted him with a clean diaper. “I’m sure your mother will be very
sympathetic.”
“I know, right?”
The afternoon passed quietly and peacefully. Briana fell asleep on her blanket
and not long after that, Loki dozed off with his head in Thor’s lap. Though he
felt sleepy, he resisted closing his eyes, preferring to watch over Briana and
Loki than give in to temptation.
He could sleep when he was dead.
*
A full half an hour had passed before Loki roused again. Thor was running his
hands through his hair, sweeping it up and off his forehead, when he sighed and
declared, rather hoarsely, that he wasn’t interested in moving. Thor chuckled
and bent down to kiss his forehead.
“How’s Briana?” Loki asked, scrubbing a hand over his face.
“Sleeping. She’s barely moved, kinda like you.”
“Ha.Ha,” Loki said dryly, and smacked what part of Thor’s thigh he could reach.
“Did you sleep?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Just didn’t.” Thor decided not to elaborate, and Loki left it.
“Your leg is vibrating,” Loki pointed out. “Either that or you’re having a very
localized seizure.”
Thor rolled his eyes and dug his phone out of his pants, which was kinda tricky
when he had someone laying on them. He had a text message from Tony.
Hey Thunderbrains.
That was it. While ‘Thunderbrains’ wasn’t a new nickname by any means, it
seemed odd that Tony would only text to say ‘hi’. Normally he had a purpose,
whether it was to convince Thor to sneak out of his house in the middle of the
night for an impromptu keg party or ask him if anyone would notice if he built
a car in his basement. Sometimes Thor could tell that he texted because he was
lonely, and needed someone human just to talk to, and Thor was happy to wear
down his thumb. But Tony had been doing that less and less lately, and it
struck Thor that perhaps it was because Tony had finally found someone of his
own to talk to, someone who treated him like a human being, one with more worth
than as a brain or just as someone to leave a company to.
Hey robothead. wats up? he texted back, slightly concerned.
Nothing, Tony replied, too quickly. Thor might not be the sharpest knife in the
drawer, but he wasn’t that stupid.
don’t beleve u. u ok??
It took ages for a reply. Thor was contemplating phoning Tony instead when his
reply came. Whatever he had been expecting to hear, it wasn’t this.
How do u date someone?!
Thor didn’t realize he was gaping at his phone until Loki pointed it out and
poked his cheek. “What is it?”
“I, um, Tony, just sent me a text message. It’s kinda weird though.”
“It’s Tony. Is it not meant to be weird?” Loki asked, raising a perfectly
manicured eyebrow and looking up at Thor.
“Not this weird.”
“Well, what did he say?”
“He wants to know how to date.”
Loki snorted. “Say what? The king of flirtation is asking you for dating tips?”
“Well, yeah.”
Something about Thor’s suddenly subdued demeanor must have alerted Loki,
because he sat up in a flash. “Not a text you’d thought you’d get, then?”
“No. Maybe he’s having second thoughts about Steve?” Even as he said it, Thor’s
stomach curled into itself. That really wasn’t something that anyone could
consciously let happen.
Loki looked thoughtful. “Or, maybeeee, he’s realized that a couple of years of
epic flirting and the odd one-night stand haven’t really taught him anything
about actually having a relationship.”
Thor bit at his lower lip. He thought maybe that Loki had nailed it. Tony was
panicking. “What do I say? What do I tell him?”
He could tell by the blank look on Loki’s face that he had just as many ideas
as he did. “…pass?” Loki said eventually. “I’m not a fucking psychologist.”
Thor didn’t think the moment called for him to laugh, but he did anyway.
“Enough,” Loki said, grinning, and swatted his shoulder. “We have to help him
before he does something irreparable.”
That sobered Thor up. “But what?”
“I don’t know. You just can’t just, you know, put all that in a text.”
“Put all what?”
“How to date someone! Wait, you think there might be a ‘How to Date for
Dummies’ book out there somewhere?”
“I don’t think Tony would appreciate a book that suggested he was a dummy at
anything. He would probably unleash his robots on you or something.”
“He has robots?”
“Yeah, like three.”
Loki just gaped.
“So what do I sayyyyy?” Thor whined, holding up his phone. “He’s gonna think
I’m ignoring him.”
“I dunno, just tell him that it’s kinda hard to put into words or something.”
“He’s gonna hate that,” Thor grumbled, but texted it anyway.
“We aren’t miracle workers, Thor.” As if agreeing, Briana promptly awoke and
started grizzling. “Flip. Well, at least now I know when she’s actually hungry
as opposed to just pissed off.”
“Face it, Loki. You’re a walking milk bar.” Thor had no doubt that if Loki’s
arms weren’t otherwise occupied, he would have gotten something to the face for
that. As it was, Loki’s glare was spectacular.
At least he didn’t have to wait long for Tony’s reply. It was succinct and to
the point, to say the least.
Not. Helpful.
Thor winced. “I think we pissed him off.”
“Why? What did he say?”
“Basically that we weren’t being very helpful. In fewer words, though.”
“Yikes.”
“Yeah.”
They sat in silence for a few moments, until Loki piped up again. “Tell him to
come over. Maybe we could talk to him.”
“Now?”
Loki shrugged. “Ok, maybe not right now, but a bit later. When do you have to
be home?”
“By dinner. 6.30pm at the latest.”
“So that gives us… um, how long?”
Thor glanced at his phone. “Just over 3 hours.”
“Plenty of time. Text him.”
Thor poised his thumb. “Wait, are you sure your parents will be ok with him
coming over?”
“Oh – um, good point.” Loki screwed up his face. “They love you, but they’ve
never met Tony.”
And Thor thought of something else. “There’s Briana, as well,” he pointed out,
a little awkwardly. “He doesn’t know about her yet.”
Loki sighed and rested his head on the tree behind him. “No. No he doesn’t.”
Thor wasn’t quite sure what to say, so he decided saying nothing would get him
into less trouble.
“Do you think I should tell the others?” Loki asked quietly, his eyes closed.
There wasn’t an answer Thor could give straight away. He picked idly at a dead
leaf before tearing it into pieces and letting them drift down to the ground.
“I don’t know,” he said eventually. “That’s your decision.”
“Now you’re not being helpful,” Loki muttered, opening his eyes only to roll
them at Thor. “Tell me what to do, it’s so much easier.”
Thor chuckled. “I’d probably screw it up.”
“No you wouldn’t.”
“Yes, I would.”
“Ok, you probably would, but still, it would save a lot of thinking.”
“That’s cheating.”
“I don’t care,” Loki said huffily. “I’ll cheat when I wanna cheat.”
“Yessir.”
That, at least, made Loki smile. “I guess I have to tell them sometime. I’m
just not sure that now is the right time.”
Thor grunted his agreement.
“Though I think Tasha might be catching on…” Loki mused. He sighed. “Do you
think I should tell her? I'm pretty sure I've asked you that before, but
still..."
Thor didn't have an answer for that, and anyway it seemed that Loki wasn't
expecting one. He seemed lost in his head, far away, and Thor let him drift
until he remembered Tony and the panic attack he was probably having somewhere.
Then he spoke without thinking, not an uncommon thing for him, and he was
surprised by how much sense he made. "Maybe we could meet Tony at my place?"
"That would work," Loki said, coming back to reality. "Just as long as my mom
or Mormor can look after Briana. She'll probably end up sleeping anyway."
Thor smiled. "We can ask. I’ll text Tony and see if he can come to my place
this afternoon. We can try and save him before he does something stupid. If
Briana falls asleep.”
“She should,” Loki said, looking down at her anxiously. She was still feeding
voraciously, showing no signs of stopping. “But she did have a nap just
before.”
“It wasn’t long though.”
“I know. But she likes to be contrary.” Loki’s smile was full of affection.
“I wonder where she gets that from,” Thor mused, grinning wickedly at Loki, who
wasn’t impressed.
“Hmphf. She should be finished soon, anyway.”
“Turn the tap off.”
“It doesn’t work like that, Thor, as much as sometimes I wish it would. Hurry
up and text Tony before he thinks you’ve forgotten about him again.”
u doing anything? be @ mine @ 4.30.
The answer came nearly straight away.
Be there. C u soon.
And then, as if it was an afterthought,
Thanks bud.
Thor read the texts out to Loki, who ‘aww’d’ in the right places and then
pointed out the obvious. “What are we gonna tell him?”
“… stuff?”
“Well, that sounds scientific.”
“We can brainstorm on the way back to yours.”
“Fine. Briana is nearly finished sucking me dry. Could you pass me a cloth
please?”
Thor did as duly requested and then packed up while Loki settled Briana back
into the stroller. They pushed through the curtain of willow, making Briana
giggle as the leaves passed over her. After being in their own little world for
a while it was strange to be back amongst the living. Thor didn’t see anyone he
knew particularly well, and he wasn’t sure if that was good or bad.
Briana fell asleep crossing the road, and was still zonked out when they got
back to Loki’s house. Farbauti took one look at her and told Loki not to bother
even taking her out of the stroller, lest she woke up.
Loki saw the opportunity and seized it. “Would it be ok if you could keep an
eye on her?” he asked, his face screwed up just a little as if he was
anticipating rejection.
Farbauti sighed and gave him a wry smile. “What for, and how long?”
“Not long. But Tony is having a crisis and we’re having an emergency meeting at
Thor’s.”
The bewildered look on Farbauti’s face said it all. “…now?”
“Well, 4.30.”
Farbauti glanced at the clock on the wall. “It’s quarter past now.”
Thor panicked. “Already?!”
“Already. Ok, fine. I’ll look after her. But this isn’t going to be a regular
thing, is it?” she asked Loki, in her best mother-in-charge voice.
Loki eagerly shook his head. “No.”
Farbauti rolled her eyes but smiled. “Well, you’d better get going then. Be
back as soon as you can.”
“Thank you!” Loki flung his arms around his mother’s neck and kissed her on the
cheek.
“Shush you silly boy, you’ll wake her up,” Farbauti said affectionately,
returning the kiss.
“Going!” Loki whispered, but crept over to say goodbye – quietly – to Briana,
who didn’t bother to stir.
Thor held out his hand for Loki’s, and together, they headed out the door
before Briana could wake up and demand their presence.
***** Chapter 22 *****
Chapter Notes
     Well, so, um, it's been a while. I'm so sorry to everyone who has
     been waiting for this :(. I just want to reiterate that this fic is
     not, and won't be, abandoned. I'll probably just continue to be the
     world's worst updater. Grad school is kicking my butt and I had
     writer's block so bad on this that I took a break for months, I just
     couldn't do anything. I'm hoping that's solved it for now but of
     course I go back to school next week.
     Just a note for this chapter - I've changed recess to study hall, as
     a lovely person suggested in the comments a few chapters ago (if it
     wasn't 4am, I'd look it up, but I'm about to die, please accept my
     humble apologies!). I haven't gone back to change the earlier
     chapters but I will at some point.
     I still have loads of comments to reply to - I'm hoping to do that
     when I feel more human! Thank you to everyone who has left a comment
     and/or kudos'd, I really, really appreciate it although sometimes I
     feel like I don't deserve it for being so slack!
     A note on plot - the plot is all in my head, not so much in this
     chapter. I felt y'all had been waiting so long you deserved smexy
     times, so we resume normal transmission next chapter.
     This chapter does include lactation kink and rimming, so if that
     doesn't appeal to you, I suggest you skip the second part of the sex
     scene (end of chapter).
     Thanks everyone!
They went as fast as they could without running, but still didn’t make it there
before Tony. He was parked out front, the red sports car sticking out like a
sore thumb. The hood was still warm so he hadn’t been there long, and they
found him at the kitchen table looking sorry for himself and nursing a mug of
hot chocolate that Frigga had decided he needed.
“Hey Thor. Hey Loki,” he mumbled, trying for a smile and failing spectacularly.
Beside him, Thor heard Loki sigh with sympathy.
“What happened?” Loki asked, cutting straight to the chase. They took seats
either side of Tony while Frigga supplied them both with their own hot
chocolates and then left them to it.
Tony shrugged morosely before looking up, at nothing in particular. “It’s not
him, it’s meeeeee!” he wailed.
Over his head, Loki exchanged a look with Thor. It was 95% I told you so and 5%
now what the fuck are we meant to do?! Then it was Thor’s turn to shrug. He was
completely out of his depth.
Loki rolled his eyes. “Just, tell us what happened,” he asked Tony soothingly.
Tony took a deep, wavering gulp of breath, and, looking rather like a fish out
of water, launched into it. “Well, I guess, it’s just, Steve wants to do stuff
and I don’t know what sort of stuff, I don’t mean like sex cos that’s not a
problem but Steve’s not ready for that yet and that’s ok but I mean going out
and going places and doing things together and I’ve never really done that sort
of thing, I mean I have with you guys but not with a boyfriend and I’m not sure
what I’m supposed to do or say or behave or how you even do things like that
when you have another person there that likes you, I mean properly likes you
not just wants to sleep with you and when Steve asked me to go to the movies
with him I freaked out I don’t know why because like I told you I wish everyone
knew about us but for some reason I couldn’t, not didn’t want to, just
couldn’t, it’s like it makes it official even though it’s just the movies I
mean come on are you fucking serious -”
“Tony.”
Tony stopped like he’d been slapped and stared wild eyed at Loki, who had a
hand resting on Tony’s shoulder. “You’re panicking,” Loki said, like that
explained everything, and maybe it did because Tony just slumped down onto the
tabletop in agreement.
“But I don’t know how to stop it!” he howled through his arms.
“You can’t,” Loki told him, like he was speaking to a 5 year old – with immense
patience.
“But - !” Tony shot up quickly, and stared at Loki in what seemed like horror.
“What do you mean, ‘I can’t’?”
Loki smiled. “It’s nothing you can control, unless you’ve completely mastered
your brain.”
Tony looked a little insulted at the idea that he might not have mastered his
brain, given his level of intelligence, but then he seemed to realize that Loki
was right and his shoulders sagged, just a little. “But what can I do about
it?” he asked, his voice pitiful and desperate.
Loki seemed to think about it for a while, before looking slightly rueful about
something. “Can I be honest?” he asked, biting his lip.
“Yes,” Tony said, after a moment. “Is this going to be painful?”
“Hopefully not,” Loki said, “but I can’t promise anything.”
“Fine,” Tony sighed, and huffed. “Go for it.”
“Suck it up,” Loki said frankly.
“Excuse me?” Tony asked, his mouth flapping open like a fish.
“Suck. It. Up. Get over it. Drink a cup of cement, harden up. It’s life, it
happens.”
Thor was pretty sure his mouth mirrored Tony’s at that moment. He’d never heard
Loki speak like that before, ever. He wasn’t sure whether or not he ought to be
proud or shocked.
“What?” Tony asked, feebly.
Loki shrugged. “Well, it is just life, isn’t it? Nothing ever goes to plan. You
can’t control your emotions or your feelings, at least, not that well anyway.
No-one can, unless you’re some master of yoga or the kama sutra or whatever it
is. You’re panicking, because you’ve never been in this situation before, where
you have to think about and take into account someone else’s feelings and
emotions and wants and needs. So, you’re scared, because you don’t want to fuck
this up, and hurt Steve, or lose him, but at the same time you are hurting him,
unintentionally, because you’re drawing back and confusing him, in an effort
not to hurt him, but it’s totally backfiring, isn’t it?”
Tony had closed his mouth somewhere in the middle of Loki’s theorizing. He
looked a little more pensive now, intrigued. “Keep going,” he said, and took a
comforting gulp of hot chocolate.
“Sooooo…. You need to suck it up. You have to be stronger emotionally than you
have ever been. Stop thinking about all the bad things that could happen and
start thinking about the things that could go right. Steve wants to be with
you. He knows your strengths and your weaknesses, and guess what, he doesn’t
care, or he wouldn’t be with you. So use that. Tell him. Tell him that you
don’t know what you’re doing, that you don’t want to muck this up, that you’re
sorry for pulling away. Steve’s not going to just walk away. If he knows what’s
up with you then he can help you. You just have to let him. It’s something you
can work through together. It’s so much harder when it’s just you, alone.”
With that last sentence, Thor felt something like a punch to the stomach. He
realized where this had been coming from – Loki might as well have been talking
about everything he’d been through with James and Briana, and what might have
been, just as much as he might have been talking about Steve and Tony. He felt
like he’d just been given a very personal and intimate look inside Loki’s head,
and it seemed almost like he’d learned just as much as Tony.
“Soooo…. I should just go over there? And talk to him?” Tony asked, looking a
little incredulous, as if things couldn’t possibly be that simple.
Loki nodded his head. “You can’t expect him to read your mind. He’s probably
just as confused as you are right now.”
Tony sighed into his mug. “You’re right. I should…. I should have just talked
to him from the beginning. But I was scared, you know? I thought that I had
this, that it wouldn’t be any different, and I didn’t want him to know that…”
Tony seemed lost for words. It was not a regular occurrence.
“To know that you aren’t as put together as you like to make it seem?” Loki
asked delicately, without a trace of malice.
“Yes, that!” Tony said, looking a little relieved that Loki had put it into
words for him, rather than pissed off at the choice of them. “What… what you
said. That.”
Loki smiled at Tony but there was no happiness in it, just a knowing gaze in
his eyes. “It’ll work out,” he said to Tony, clasping his shoulder. “Just don’t
screw it up.”
Tony snorted. “I’m good at doing that, sometimes,” he said ruefully, giving
Loki a mournful smile. “Fuck up friendships, and all that. Hell, I hardly even
talk to my father.”
Loki raised his eyebrows at Thor, who could only give him a small shrug in
return. He knew Tony’s relationship with his father was strained, but it was
something that Tony rarely talked about.
“You know, I wish me and Steve could be like you two,” Tony suddenly blurted
out. “You talk to each other without having to speak, you just get each other,
ya know? I see you. At school and stuff. I just wish me and Steve were like
that. I… I like him so much but it’s hard to show it, you know? But with you
two, you aren’t afraid of touching each other or being together, like we are.”
Thor wasn’t sure what to make of this. He hadn’t realized that Tony was jealous
of them, or how free they were with each other in front of other people.
“We’ve been together for a little longer than you and Steve, though,” Loki said
quietly, edging closer to Tony.
“Pfffft. I’ve known Steve much longer than you’ve known Thor. Years. So why the
fuck can’t we figure it out when you two are like Romeo and Juliet – or well,
Romeo and Romeo – so damn quickly?”
“Well, maybe that’s the thing,” Loki said. “We didn’t know each other, so it
wasn’t like we were two friends trying to date like you and Steve. Of course
it’s going to feel weird. I think I would feel strange if I fell for my best
friend as well. Everything changes. Your relationship is different. You can’t
act the same way around them anymore. Your boundaries change. You have a whole
other aspect of your relationship to work out that we didn’t.”
Tony looked like he wasn’t sure if he ought to believe Loki or not, and gave
him a dubious look for good measure.
“Look,” Loki said, and sighed. “If you are trying to be like me and Thor,
you’re gonna fail. Not cos you can’t be like us, but because you aren’t us –
how we work, it’s because of who we are. You and Steve will be totally
different to us. Don’t compare what you have to everyone else, because you’ll
never get anywhere, trying to chase the image of someone else’s relationship. I
know it sounds crappy, but you have to figure out what you and Steve can be
together. There’s no manual for this.”
Tony had gone back to looking borderline depressed. He stared at a spot on the
wall, for reasons known only to him. “You’re right,” he said heavily. “I just
need to… I need to…” He struggled for words before giving up and looking at
Loki, who stared back sympathetically.
“You need to go talk to Steve,” Loki said carefully, as Tony nodded along. “And
tell him why you feel insecure about this, and – listen to me – ask him for
help. You can do this.”
“I can do this,” Tony repeated, his voice steadier than it probably ought to
be. “I can do this.” He nodded his head briskly. “Right. Um.” He paused. “I’m
going to go now. To see Steve, I mean.” He stood up quickly, his chair scraping
noisily against the tiles as it slid backwards.
“You’re going now?” Loki asked, looking slightly incredulous. Thor wondered if
he had more he was wanting to say.
“Yes,” Tony said firmly. “While I still have the guts.”
“Is that a good idea?” Loki asked warily.
“Why?” Tony asked sharply, and looked down at where he sat. “You think I should
wait?”
Loki shrugged. “Well, that’s up to you, I just don’t want you to rush over
there without thinking it through.”
“Thinking what through?” Tony asked, a little bewildered.
“What you’re going to say,” Loki said, like it was completely obvious.
“Oh,” Tony said, and sat back down heavily. “You have a point.”
Loki didn’t say anything, just took another sip of his hot chocolate.
“What do you think I should say?” Tony asked Thor suddenly, his head whipping
around so quickly it took his hair a few seconds to follow.
“Uh what?” Thor said, not appreciating having the question sprung on him.
“Well come on, what do you think. Your boyfriend’s done all the talking so
far.”
Thor could see Loki smirking into his mug. “I – uh – not sure, really.”
“Right. Well, you’re helpful,” Tony said, and screwed up his face at Thor.
Thor just made one back.
“Oh well that’s intelligent,” Loki said, doing a terrible job of hiding a
laugh.
“That’s Thor!” Tony sung out. “You sure know how to pick ‘em.”
“You did it first!” Thor protested.
“Yeah you keep saying that buddy,” Tony said, and winked.
Thor just rolled his eyes.
“So, no tips then?” Tony asked, leaning forward, somewhat of a desperate look
in his eyes.
Thor was quite happy to just say ‘no’, but Tony was his friend and so there was
somewhat of an obligation there. But he just wasn’t good at this like Loki
clearly was. This really wasn’t his thing. “Uh… I guess… um, maybe, say sorry
for the whole movies thing? And um, listen to him.”
“Well, I was planning on letting him speak at some point.”
“No, I mean, really listen to him. Don’t just let him talk to you, actually
listen to what he has to say, and then – sorry – actually use what he has to
say. Don’t just disregard it.” Thor was proud of himself for coming up with
that, though also a little worried that Tony wouldn’t be impressed with his
candor – he wasn’t normally so brutally honest, but he had been put on the
spot.
As it was, though, Tony just looked thoughtful, staring back at Thor with what
seemed to be quiet respect. “I hear you, big fella. I know, I do, don’t laugh
at me, that sometimes I don’t really listen… and I guess, you of all people,
really do know that.”
There was a pause, and then Thor was startled when Tony sprung up from his
chair and enveloped him in a quick hug before turning around and doing the same
to Loki, who only just managed to relinquish his hold on his mug in time.
“I love you guys,” Tony said soppily into Loki’s hair before letting go. Loki
looked a little wide-eyed and bewildered. “Ok, no really, this time, I’m gonna
go talk to him… but I’m gonna take a little drive and think about it first.”
Loki looked a bit alarmed at that. “Are you sure you should be driving?” he
asked, concerned.
Tony looked mystified, as if he had no idea why Loki would even ask that. “I’m
a brilliant driver. Just ask Thor.”
For the second time in what seemed like a minute, Thor found himself put on the
spot. While Tony had been driving for the longest out of all of them – mainly
because of a blatant disregard for road laws – he wasn’t necessary the best…
Thor had, after all, been in a car with him before, and not having the same
love of speed as Tony, had endured several hair-raising drives. But, despite
that, he could be a very thoughtful and careful driver when the occasion called
for it. Unable to put any of it into words, he just shrugged.
“Oh thanks big buddy, you’re a great friend,” Tony scoffed, although Thor was
perfectly aware he wasn’t really mad.
“No problem.”
“I’ll be fine, Loki. Maybe I’ll just go down to the woods or something.”
Loki blushed at the mention of the woods and though Thor caught it and smirked
at him, Tony thankfully didn’t seem to notice. Loki hid behind his hair until
it faded.
“Don’t get lost,” Thor said, only half-kidding (Tony had once taken a wrong
turn off a path and ended up hideously lost, until he was found, four hours
later, by the local Scout leader. It had been seven years and he still couldn’t
live it down).
“Huh. I have a much better sense of direction now, thank you very much.”
“Ok,” Thor said patronizingly, and suffered a punch to the shoulder for it.
“Anyway, lovebirds, thank you. Really. I will let you know how it goes. And if
he dumps me, I will never forgive you and haunt you for the rest of your
lives.”
“Don’t you have to be dead to haunt someone?” Loki asked dryly, chin propped up
in his hand.
“Not when you’re me.” Tony pressed his hands together and gave a little bow to
Loki, who bowed back, and then to Thor, who just looked bemused.
“See you at school? Or tonight, while you’re in bed, if I’m in a haunting mood.
Watch for me in your wardrobes. Ciao!”
Tony let himself out, while Loki and Thor just sat at the table and watched.
“Well, that was interesting,” Thor said.
“Yeah. Thanks for contributing,” Loki pointed out, grinning.
“Hey! You seemed to have it covered.”
“Uh huh. But input from other people is always good.”
“I know. But I told you, I’m not very good at this sort of thing. You are,
though. It seemed to work.”
“’Seemed to’ being the operative word here. Let’s give it some time. Hopefully
they work it out.”
“They will.”
“You sound awfully confident, Thor.”
He shrugged. “I think Steve is an understanding and forgiving person, and that
Tony is honest enough to tell him everything. They’ll be fine.”
“I hope so,” Loki said, though he sounded a touch dubious. “I just hope I
haven’t screwed it up by telling him all that crap.”
“It wasn’t crap.”
“You have to say that.”
“No I don’t.”
“Yes you do. Anyway, I guess we’ll find out.”
Thor gave up trying to convince Loki. “I don’t want to find Tony in my wardrobe
at midnight. Again.”
“Again?! Wait, what, do I even want to know?”
“Probably not. It got me back into the habit of checking my wardrobe every
night before I go to sleep though.”
“What are you, five?”
Thor threw a napkin at Loki.
*
They found themselves pressed for time, and so Frigga generously allowed Thor
to drive Loki back home in her car. Farbauti met them outside with Briana, who
was very awake and very pleased to see Loki, holding out her little chubby arms
as he reached for her.
“Hey Princess,” he cooed, expertly flicking his hair away so she couldn’t grab
it. “Are you feeling better?”
She gurgled, which Thor figured was baby-talk for ‘much better, thank you, what
about you?’
They couldn’t linger though, not while Farbauti was in the middle of cooking
and Thor’s mom wanted him home. So he gave Loki a kiss and gave Briana one too,
on her cheek, much to her delight as she squealed.
“See, totally warming up to you,” Loki teased, grinning at Thor, who blushed.
“Now, make sure you do some studying tonight, will you? There’s a quiz
tomorrow,” he said, and grinned with great relish.
“You’re gonna quiz me?” Thor asked, not really enthusiastic about the prospect.
“Just to make sure you remember what we did,” Loki said, his voice reassuring.
“Just do what you can tonight.”
“Ok. I promise.”
“Good. Pinky swear?”
“Pinky swear.”
Their pinky swear was accompanied by one last kiss, and Briana joined in by
banging Thor on the cheek with the palm of her hand.
“Delightful child,” Thor said dryly.
“That just means she likes you,” Loki said, with the confidence of a mother who
was sure their child could do no wrong. Despite evidence to the contrary.
“I’ll take your word for it. See you tomorrow.”
“Sleep well.”
Loki and Briana stayed out on the front lawn until Thor disappeared around the
corner, one eye on the road and the other in the rear view mirror.
*
Later that night Thor received a series of text messages in quick succession.
He found out that Tony hadn’t gotten lost in the woods (though it was a close
call) and nor had he suffered any perils whilst driving. He had made it to
Steve’s, apologized, poured his heart out (perhaps a little too much, Tony
admitted), and the two had reconciled with a vigorous round of tonsil hockey.
Tony had confessed to Steve that he wasn’t sure how relationships worked and
that he had all the confidence of a man who couldn’t swim who had been dumped
in the ocean, and Steve had confessed to Tony that he was still getting used to
everything but was starting to come around to the idea of being with Tony in
public, as a couple, something he had been wary about before (and he had
reassured Tony that it wasn’t because of him, but rather because he had found
the idea of public affection mortifying, but he was getting over it). Thor
congratulated them on their success and found himself both smiling and rolling
his eyes. Teenage romance, so sweet, and so tragic.
*
The next day, Tony and Steve surprised everyone by turning up hand in hand,
provoking a flurry of whispers and stares and the occasional “I told you so!”
from the crowd. There were also a few very disappointed faces, now that Captain
America and the strange-but-very-very-rich Stark were off the market. With each
other. Thor overheard one particularly depressed young lady lament that all the
good ones were gay – Thor, Loki, and now Steve and Tony. Apparently good
looking guys were short on the ground in their small town, and the pool had
just emptied a little bit more.
Not that Steve and Tony cared about any of this. They hadn’t progressed further
from holding hands in public, but it was a start, and they ignored everyone
else during study hall and lunch in favor of talking to each other, and doing
what Clint called (whilst pretending to gag) “staring into each other’s eyes”.
Tasha hadn’t even told him to behave and Thor suspected that she agreed with
him. He couldn’t see Tasha ever wanting to stare into somebody’s eyes, unless
of course she was about to kill them.
All in all he and Loki were both pleased that their efforts had paid off. Or,
well, Loki’s efforts at least. Thor liked to think he had been a moral rock
next to Tony the day before. Everything helps.
Loki had come prepared for Thor’s Economics pop quiz that day. Thor had studied
for a good three hours the evening before and had been very pleased with
himself, although that was dulled somewhat when Loki reminded him that he still
had a long way to go. All the same, he did well on Loki’s test during study
hall, and that boosted his confidence to no end. That day in Economics he even
surprised the teacher by answering a question correctly, and it was probably a
miracle that Mr Kenney hadn’t keeled over with the shock.
So when Loki invited him over that afternoon for more studying, Thor found
himself looking forward to it. Mostly it was because it was Loki, but there was
a little bit there that he attributed to his new interest in studying. They
stopped off at the baby store on the way home for more diapers and formula, and
this time, without Tasha or any of their friends around, Loki felt free to tell
the owner of the store about Briana. The two engaged in a long conversation
about baby girls and how they were nicer than boys whilst Thor alarmed himself
by studying some of the products available for more intimate use.
Thor remembered what had happened last time and didn’t try to pay for anything,
which resulted in a kiss to the cheek and a smile from Loki. “Thank you,” Loki
whispered as he took his hand, and that was that.
They could hear Briana before they even got in the front door, screeching about
something, and concern shaded Loki’s features. He pushed the door open and let
them both in, the din almost overwhelming inside.
“Ana?” he called out, and Thor wasn’t sure if she’d be able to hear them at
all.
But Ana appeared around the corner from the kitchen, her apron covered in white
flour. She looked rather flustered. “Thank goodness you’re home. She’s not
interested in me right now. I had to retreat to the kitchen just to get away
from the noise.” She nodded towards the living room, and Loki gave her a quick,
apologetic grin before heading towards it.
Briana was strapped firmly into her bouncer, arms stretching up towards the
toys dangling above her. Rather than screaming out of discomfort, she seemed
full of herself, bubbly and energetic, her mouth open as she shrieked at
nothing in particular.
“Baby!” Loki said, reaching towards her. “Why so noisy?”
She spotted him and screeched even louder, her arms reaching for him now
instead of the toys. He unbuckled her and lifted her up, and like turning off a
tap, she stopped screaming. Instead, she flopped into his shoulder and gurgled
happily, drooling all over his shirt.
From the kitchen, Thor and Loki heard what seemed like a noise of relief, and
laughed.
“You are so naughty sometimes,” Loki said to Briana, bouncing her carefully.
“You mustn’t annoy the person who looks after you so I can go to school.
Otherwise, who’s going to do it?” Briana didn’t have an answer, just grinned
happily at Loki and drooled a little more. “Well, at least she’s feeling
better, I guess.”
“You wouldn’t think she’d been sick,” Thor pointed out, stroking a chubby cheek
with the back of his finger. Briana turned her attention to him, batting him
with her hand until he let her grasp a finger. Her grip was tight but amusing,
until she pulled it to her mouth and chomped down on it.
“Woah! Bad baby!” It didn’t hurt, but Thor hadn’t exactly anticipated it and he
could feel his finger oozing with saliva, which wasn’t really the nicest
sensation in the world.
Loki took his time freeing it, and Thor was left with a wet finger, which he
hastily wiped on a tissue that Loki pulled from his pocket and gave to him.
“It’s not that bad,” Loki said, teasing him. “I’ve had worse.”
“I can imagine,” Thor said, not wanting to at all, really.
“Come on. She can play on the floor while we work.”
They went down to Loki’s room, where Thor got the privilege of holding Briana
while Loki spread out a thick blanket for her to roll around on before fetching
a bucket of toys and spreading them around. Thor sat down on the bed and
watched, letting Briana perch on his knee. She watched Loki with interest, as
if she knew he was doing it for her, her wide eyes taking everything in.
“Has she made any progress on the crawling front?” Thor asked.
Loki chuckled. “Uh, not really. Well, she lifts herself up on her arms
sometimes, so I guess she’s getting there. She’s better at rolling now though.
She’ll get there.” He lifted Briana up from Thor’s knee and placed her on her
tummy in the middle of the blanket. She lunged for a plastic toy and started
shaking it, interested in the noise it made.
“Well, that should occupy her for a little while,” Loki said. “Let’s get
started while we can.”
Loki wasn’t kidding when he said he was happy to help Thor study. They poured
over his workbooks, going through everything that Thor found difficult until he
had grasped the majority of the material. They kept one eye on Briana at the
same time, and every now and again one of them would have to hop up to rescue
her from where she was attempting to escape, or, when she accidently hit
herself in the head with a toy, comfort her. In the end she wore herself out
and fell asleep on top of a toy car. Loki picked her up gently and put her down
in her cot, and she barely moved.
Ane brought them a snack and Coke, and told Thor he was staying for dinner.
Thor didn’t protest and hoped Ane didn’t realize how secretly pleased he was.
Loki did though, and elbowed him in the ribs. He phoned his mother to check,
who didn’t mind given that they were studying – and Loki invited himself to
confirm that with Frigga, pulling the phone away from Thor and having a nice
chat.
“Hey!”
“Hey what?” Loki teased, poking out a tongue. He gave Thor his phone back,
having said their goodbyes to Frigga for both of them and hung up.
“You gonna make a habit of that?” Thor asked, not pissed off in the slightest.
“Most likely. Get used to it.”
Thor just snorted. Loki rolled over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling.
“Ugh. My brain hurts. Do you feel like a break?”
“Stupid question,” Thor said.
“Ha. Should have figured. How’s your brain doing?”
“It’s overworked and underpaid and wants 6 weeks of paid vacation.”
That made Loki laugh and hit him, fondly, in the side of his arm. “Tell it that
it can apply for leave but it’s not likely to be approved.”
“Then it’ll quit and find a better-paying job.”
“Yeah, good luck in this economy,” Loki said, half-serious. He rolled back
over, head next to Thor’s thigh. “It’ll find itself sitting at home on the
unemployment benefit.”
“There are worse things,” Thor mused, absentmindedly stroking Loki’s cheek and
smiling down at him.
“Yeah, I suppose there are,” Loki mumbled, completely distracted by Thor’s
fingers. “Mmm, that’s nice.” He closed his eyes, letting his head fall into
Thor’s thighs.
“You going to fall asleep?” Thor asked, not ceasing his ministrations.
“Noooo… don’t want to.”
“You will, like that.”
“Don’t want to!”
“Then sit up.”
“Give me an incentive.”
“I’ll keep touching you.”
“Always a good one.” Loki, though, made no effort to sit up.
“Not enough, huh?”
“Nope,” Loki said, his lips curling into a smile. “What else ya got?”
Thor said the first thing that came into his head. “Twenty Questions.”
“What?” Loki asked, half-laughing. “You wanna play that game?”
Thor shrugged. “Why not? It’ll be funner if we take away the age restriction.”
Loki sat up. “You want to play Twenty Questions about sex?”
“Does that not sound like a fun game to play?”
Loki’s face crumpled into a smile. “Well… when you put it like that…”
“See?” Thor teased. “I got you to sit up, didn’t I?”
“You mentioned sex,” Loki said playfully, sitting back on his hands and
grinning at Thor. “It’s an interesting topic.”
“Interesting? As in academic interest?” Thor asked, raising an eyebrow.
Loki rolled his eyes. “Hardly, you buffoon. Although…” he drifted off.
“Although what?”
Loki shrugged his shoulders. “How long have we been together?”
It was Thor’s turn to shrug. “Ummm... a month or so, maybe? Not sure.”
“Ok.” Loki pressed his lips together. “There’s still lots of things we don’t
know about each other, isn’t there?”
This time, Thor was pretty sure both his eyebrows retreated into his hairline.
“You want to know who I’ve had sex with?”
“Yeah,” Loki said, not breaking eye contact, as if it was a challenge.
“Is this a good idea?” Thor asked cautiously.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, neither of us is gonna get jealous, right?”
“What, and storm out and we’ll never talk again and all that?”
“Well, I would hope not.”
“Me too,” Loki said after a moment. “Look, you don’t have to tell me anything
if –“
“I do.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. If you’re ok with that.”
“I am. I promise not to storm out and never speak to you again.”
Thor chuckled. “Ditto.”
“Good. Pinky swear?”
“Pinky swear.” They hooked pinkies together, although Loki refused to let go,
until Thor started to tickle him. They ended up lying on the bed next to each
other, their feet on the pillows.
“Right. Who’s starting?” Thor asked, his face full of Loki’s hair. He blew it
away gently, until it sat on Loki’s face instead.
Loki screwed up his face and swept his hair back over his ears. He huffed, and
said, “You ask me first.”
“Really?” Thor asked, expecting to be the first to spill considering he had
suggested the game in the first place.
“Yes,” Loki said firmly. “I think. Just go, before I change my mind.”
“Are you sure? I don’t mind going…”
“Thor!” That was accompanied by a hit to the stomach. “Just go.”
“Fine.” Thor breathed out through his nose, not sure where to start. Start
clean, and work his way up? Or just go for it?
“I don’t care what you ask me first,” Loki said, after half a minute’s silence.
“Ok,” Thor said, deciding to run with it. “When did you first have sex? And
with who?”
“That’s two questions!”
“Well, one can’t really be answered without the other, so I think it counts as
one.”
“No. It can totally be counted as two! That’s definitely two separate
questions.”
“Fine. Start with the first one.”
“Ok. It was a couple of years ago. I was 14.”
Thor's mouth dropped open. “You were 14? Holy hell.”
Loki shrugged. “It… just happened, I guess.”
“Woah. Ok. And who with?”
Loki looked nervous, like he was worried Thor wouldn’t like what he had to say.
“Please don’t get mad.”
“I won't. Honestly.”
“You'd better not. It was James.”
Thor turned his head towards Loki. “Why would I be mad if it was James?”
Loki shrugged. “I know how much you hate him.”
“Well, I do... but Loki, he was your boyfriend. You must have liked him.”
“I did! I did. A lot. A lot more than he liked me back, apparently,” Loki said,
a little grouchily.
Something occurred to Thor, and he felt his blood freeze in his veins. “Wait...
he didn't force you, did he?” His throat felt thick, his heart beat was
pronounced. He wasn't sure that he wanted to hear the answer.
But Loki shook his head. “No. It was mutual. It was very mutual,” he said, a
shy smile on his face.
Thor let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. Thank fuck. Or he
would have had to add pulling fingernails and teeth to the list of things he
wanted to do to James. “Where?”
“His parents place. They were watching movies downstairs. My parents – and his,
I think – thought we were working on an assignment. That’s three questions.”
“You mean like we’re supposed to be studying?” Thor pointed out, making Loki
laugh.
“Yes, I guess so. We, um, got distracted, I guess.”
“What was it like?” Thor was morbidly curious.
Loki looked pensive. “Four questions. It was ok... it hurt, at first. But when
it got better, it was really good.”
“And your parents never found out?”
Loki shook his head. “Five? That we had sex? No, not that night. Mom figured it
out about 5 months later.”
“And she let you keep going?”
“What do you think?” Loki said, giving up counting, and Thor had to laugh.
“Ok. Good point. Alright, another question.”
“Another question? When do I get to cross-examine you?”
“Later, I swear! It’s just easier this way, I suppose. I promise you’ll get to
ask me. I’m just… curious, that’s all.”
“Fine,” Loki said, as if he was reluctant, but Thor knew that look. He wasn’t
that worried, or the lines around his eyes would have creased.
“How many people have you had sex with?”
Loki’s mouth fell open at his boldness, before he had to laugh. “Oh my god,
Thor. You really do want to know everything, don’t you?”
Thor shrugged, self-consciously. “Well, yeah, I guess so. I swear I’ll tell you
all this stuff about me.”
Loki nodded. “Fair trade. Ok.” He pulled himself upright so he could look at
Thor better. “Two people.”
“Two?” Thor asked, a little incredulous, because, for some reason, he had
expected it to be more. “Ok then. Me and James?”
“Yup,” Loki said. “So if I suck at sex, I have you two to blame.”
Thor roared with laughter. It took him a few moments to recover. “Oh no no no.
You don’t get to blame other people. Anyway, you are not bad at sex. You drive
me fucking nuts.”
“Really?” Loki asked, a little shy. Red blossomed in his cheeks.
“Yeah,” Thor whispered, and kissed him softly. “You are pretty fucking good.”
Loki giggled and looked down at him, face bright red with embarrassment.
“God, Loki, you seem so innocent sometimes I’m surprised you even made it to
two!” Thor teased, rubbing Loki’s arms.
“Hey! I’m not that innocent, you should know that by now,” Loki protested.
“Prove it,” Thor said, pretty sure that this could only end with the removal of
their pants. He was looking forward to the opportunity.
“Fine!” Loki said. He looked thoughtful for a moment, and twisted the blankets
between his fingers as if he was nervous. “Well… there’s something I haven’t
shown you.” He looked anxious, like Thor was going to get mad at him for
whatever it was. “But I don’t want to keep it from you, either, I guess.”
“What is it?” Thor asked, intrigued. He sat up, sitting across from Loki. “You
don’t have to show me if you don’t want to. We can just stick to Twenty
Questions. Or Thirty Questions, or whatever it ends up being.”
Loki smiled, but it didn’t last. “I don’t want this to be weird.”
Thor was lost. “You need to tell me more, babe.”
For a moment, he thought that perhaps Loki was going to back out. But then he
spoke up. “I have… pictures.”
“Of what?” Thor asked. He wasn’t sure where this was going.
“Of me and James,” Loki practically whispered.
“You have pictures…?” Thor asked, his voice trailing off. He wasn’t sure what
to think of this one. He knew there was a high chance he would get irrationally
jealous and try to burn the house down, but at the same time he wanted to
experience as much of Loki as possible, and that meant delving into some things
that neither of them might have been too comfortable about. Thor could handle
that, surely? And there was the small matter of his cock twitching at the
thought of seeing Loki naked in a medium they had not yet shared together.
He was willing to take the risk.
“Ok. I want to see them,” he said decisively.
“You sure?” Loki asked, not looking all that sure himself.
“Yeah. We can put them back if I start to Hulk out.”
That made Loki laugh and relax, and he hopped off the bed and went over to his
desk. He opened the bottom drawer and took out a metal box, the kind that had a
lock on the front so no-one could get in. The key was hidden in a jar of
pencils and Loki brought them both over to the bed. He sat cross legged next to
Thor and picked up the box. A few jiggles of the key had it opened, and Thor
peered over Loki's shoulder. There wasn't much, mainly three or four plain
envelopes, a cd and what looked like a few childhood mementos. Loki pulled out
one of the envelopes and put the box back on the bed.
Inside the envelope was a stack of pictures. The top one was of Loki and James,
in a different place and time to the photo that Thor had seen of them before.
They were smiling at the camera, and from the angle Thor could tell one of them
had taken it.
The next one was of James alone, laying on a bed and smiling up at the camera,
his hair messy and ruffled. He was good-looking, Thor had to admit, and he
couldn’t blame Loki for falling for him. It was just a pity that he had turned
out to be such a dick.
Thor felt that he ought to be jealous, or something, but there was a tiny part
of him that boasted to James’ image that he had Loki now, and James could never
touch him again. With that boost of confidence, he encouraged Loki to keep
going.
Loki swapped to the next photo. This time, James was naked, his erect cock
clearly visible, and ok, yes, this was a bit more than he thought he would ever
see of James, but Thor found himself less perturbed by this than he thought he
would be.
Loki made his way through the photos slowly. After James there were pictures of
Loki, naked and sprawled across the bed. In a few of the photos he was
masturbating, apparently enjoying himself in front of the camera. Sitting next
to him, Loki seemed to be going rather red, as if there was something
embarrassing about seeking pleasure from his own body and having someone take a
record of it. Thor leaned over to kiss his forehead, and then Loki kept going.
There were quite a few pictures of him on his own, and they culminated in him
using a black dildo, maybe the same one that sat in Loki’s drawer right next to
the bed that they were sitting on. It was hot and so very, very wrong, but Thor
seemed to be getting hard.
Then James and Loki were fucking, and at some point they had to have stopped to
take pictures from as many angles as they could. The first of them were of Loki
on his back, James between his legs. The photos were taken mainly from James’
perspective, and showed him inside Loki, stretching him open. Then Loki was on
his hands and knees, then top of James (and some of these were clearly taken by
Loki), and then on a couch in what must have been a living room. They were as
explicit as they could have been, and Thor wanted (needed) desperately to both
relieve his growing problem (immediately) and take his own photos of Loki
(probably later). He shifted awkwardly, trying to hide his erection, but Loki
caught on and laughed gleefully.
“If I'd realised that made you hot I would have shown them to you earlier.”
Thor screwed up his face. “Do you have any more?” he squeaked.
Loki laughed and pulled out the cd from the bottom of the lock box. “No more
pictures. But I do have a video...”
The thought just about made Thor come right then and there. “I need to watch
that.”
Loki pursed his lips. “Not right now. My grandmother's home and I don't think
she'd take kindly to me watching my home-made porn with my boyfriend.”
Thor groaned. “You're evil.”
“I'll give you a blowjob if you promise to be quiet,” Loki said with a wicked
grin, all qualms about showing his pornographic photographs to his new
boyfriend apparently gone.
Thor was not going to say no. He shoved down his pants as quickly as he could,
which made Loki laugh, but he didn’t really care because all his blood had swum
south.
Loki’s lips sunk down around his cock, wet and red and very inviting, and Thor
held his hair away so he could see better. It was an intense relief to have
friction on his cock after such a build-up. Loki hollowed his cheeks and
sucked, his mouth hot and very, very good and Jesus he was not going to last
long, not with Loki licking him like that...
“Baby, baby, fuck...” Thor hissed, trying damn hard to not just explode. He had
a reputation to uphold after all, and coming down Loki's throat after less than
a minute would do nothing to improve it. But then those images of Loki, naked
on the bed, flashed back onto his mind and he gave in, completely, and had to
clench his mouth shut to stop from crying out as he came, Loki sucking it all
down.
Loki pulled off him with a pop and grinned up at him, a flash of white semen on
the edge of his lip. Thor pulled him up and kissed it off him.
“Good?” Loki asked, his eyes flashing with delight.
“Hmmph,” Thor grunted, because he hadn't quite regained the ability to talk
just yet. Loki grinned and patted his chest, and flopped next to him on the bed
with his legs pulled up.
“You look like you needed it,” he said, and quite possibly because he was the
devil incarnate, started to casually flick through those pictures again. He
took one off the pack and peered at it from several angles before declaring
that the exposure was all wrong. Thor just shook his head.
Loki continued to flick through them, studying the pictures, and Thor wondered
how he'd feel about the two of them making some as well. He had a half-decent
digital camera that would do. He rolled over to press into Loki's side and
looked at the pics as well, seeing now that taking pictures while having sex
was probably a bit awkward. They could figure it out though.
The pictures were hot. Even if they weren't of Loki and he having sex, it was
still two hot naked guys fucking, with the extra bonus that one of them was
Loki. Thor had seen his fair share of gay porn over the years, some of it good
and some of it not so good, but there was something about personal videos and
photos that seemed more erotic. Maybe because it was real - nobody was being
paid for it, no-one had to pretend they enjoyed it more or less than they
actually did. The pleasure writ on Loki’s face was real.
Thor vowed to start building his own personal collection.
“I’m not averse to trying this with you, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Loki
said casually, still thumbing through the pictures.
Had he been thinking out loud? Or was he just that obvious? Either way, Thor
was not going to argue. “That would be… good,” he said cautiously.
Loki put the photos down and laughed. “Just ‘good’? Babe, you can be more
excited than that, I promise not to give you side-eye.”
“Aww, Loki, you are so sweet.”
Loki hit him with the stack of photos and promptly went back to going through
them. “I think we could do so much better than this though,” he said.
“Really?” Thor rolled over until he was against Loki’s thigh, looking up at
him.
“Yeah. We could, you know, do more…”
“Like…?” Thor prompted, distracted by Loki’s thigh. It was rather nice. He ran
a hand up the inside, making Loki shiver.
“Like… just more, I guess. Like what we do when we have sex, I suppose...” Loki
trailed off without really answering the question.
Thor squinted and looked up. “Loki, are you embarrassed?” He couldn’t help a
little chuckle at the end.
Loki went bright red again. “No!” he protested. “Not really…”
“So you can do it but you find it hard to talk about?”
“…I guess? I suppose it just seems kinda crude.”
“Hmm. Ok then.” Thor leaned forward to kiss Loki’s thigh through his pants.
“This would be so much easier if you took these off.”
“You take them off,” Loki retorted, before he’d even registered what Thor had
said.
“Fine,” Thor said, before Loki could change his mind. He sprung up onto his
knees and went straight for the belt.
“Well, this is romantic,” Loki said dryly, as he leaned back to give Thor more
room.
“Would you like me to bring you flowers?” Thor asked, giving as good as he
could get. He got the belt free and started working on the front of Loki’s
pants.
“Well, I wouldn’t say no,” Loki pointed out, grinning.
“I’ll remember that for next time,” Thor said, not entirely sure if he would,
given his blood was in the process of vacating his brain.
Loki lifted his hips to help Thor ease his pants over his legs, then went back
to looking at the photos while Thor chucked his pants carefully onto the
dresser so he could find them later. He lay back down beside Loki, quite
enjoying the angle and the new view. Loki was growing hard, and Thor slid his
hand close to his bulge, enough just to brush past but not enough to leave Loki
with any sort of satisfaction.
“Tease,” Loki muttered, and spread his legs a little further apart.
Thor just grinned and went back to studying the growing bulge in Loki’s
underwear. He teased Loki again, several times, never letting himself do more
than brush softly. Loki growled at him, and shifted his hips in a desperate
attempt to get closer. Thor chuckled and took his hand away completely. “I
don’t think so.”
“Ugh. I hate you.”
“Sure you do.” Thor sucked on his index finger until it was wet and glistening,
and slid his fingers under the edge of Loki’s underwear. Above him, he heard
Loki gasp as he found his entrance, and rubbed it gently until it was wet and
Loki began to relax. He carefully slipped his index finger inside, mesmerised
by how hot and tight it was.
He felt a hand at his neck, its fingers knotting through his hair, and Loki’s
other hand slipped down to cover his, controlling how fast he moved his finger
in and out. They worked together for Loki’s pleasure, and even though he wasn’t
being touched, Thor felt superheated to the point of combustion. He kissed
Loki’s bare thigh and felt it trembling, and he could see the head of Loki’s
cock poking out the top of his underwear, hard and shining and precum
glistening at the tip. Stuff Loki’s orgasm, he was going to come first.
“More?” he asked Loki softly, who couldn’t speak, and just nodded his head and
gasped. Thor smiled and slipped his finger out, much to Loki’s annoyance.
“Wanna get some lube, don’t wanna hurt you,” he said, and flopped over the side
of the bed to reach for the right drawer.
“Hurry up,” Loki said. “You’re taking too long.”
“It’s been half a second!”
“Yeah. Half a second too long.”
Thor chuckled. He found a bottle of lube and shimmied back over to Loki. “I got
strawberry, hope that’s ok –“
“WAHHHHH!”
“NOOOOO!!!” Loki’s cry of frustration managed to drown out Briana, but only for
a second. “Babies!” Loki covered his face with his hands and rolled over onto
his stomach, pretending to cry. “Her timing, I swear she does it on purpose…”
Thor just sat there with a bottle of lube in one hand, not quite sure what had
just happened. It took him a moment to realise that Briana had woken up and was
seriously displeased with something, and not for the first time (and probably
not for the last…) he rued her ability to disturb them during sex.
Loki rolled back over and stared at Thor through the fingers he still had over
his eyes.
“If we stay quiet will she shut up?” Thor asked, after a moment.
Loki just shook his head. “She’ll get worse,” he said, his words muffled. “She
doesn’t like being ignored.”
Loki was, quite frankly, in no shape to go anywhere, and so Thor dropped the
lube onto the bed sheet and stumbled to his feet. He went into the nursery,
where Briana was sitting up, one hand clutching the bars, her face red and
shiny with tears.
“I’m sure whatever it is, it’s not that bad,” Thor said, though Briana didn’t
seem to care. He wiped his hands with a baby wipe and then used a dollop of
hand sanitizer, hoping it was enough. Carefully, he detached Briana’s hand from
the bar and lifted her out of the cot, thankful when he didn’t smell anything
catastrophic.
“What’s your problem, huh? Or do you just like interrupting things?” She stared
at him mournfully, threatening to cry again. Thor gently wiped her face with a
cloth before carrying her through to the bedroom.
Loki had managed to compose himself somewhat, and held out his arms for Briana.
“Come here, baby. What’s the matter?” She sniffled and curled up into him.
“Don’t tell me you have a fever,” he said, and felt her forehead.
“Is she ok?” Thor asked, suddenly afraid that her fever had come back.
“Yeah. Her forehead’s fine. Thank goodness. Maybe she’s just hungry. I didn’t
feed her before, she fell asleep.” Loki shifted on the pillows and manhandled
his shirt up to expose his chest. “Come on, girly. Please just let it be that
you’re hungry.”
Briana wasted no time in latching on, and Thor saw Loki visibly relax. “Just a
hungry baby,” Loki mused, and sighed. “Well, um, considering we can’t go back
to what we were doing, do you think you could quiz me on my Classics?”
It wasn’t the most exciting thing they’d ever done, but at least Thor got to
repay some of the help Loki had given him for his Economics test. Loki got all
of the questions right and so Thor had to start making up his own, and by the
time Briana had finished Thor thought that he might have been able to pass the
Classics test.
Loki burped Briana, then offered to show Thor again how to change a diaper,
considering how long it took him last time and the stress he endured during it.
Loki took his time and Thor took mental notes, hoping he wouldn’t run out of
memory. Briana grinned up at him the whole time, as if she was laughing, and
though Thor was glad she was feeling better he wasn’t sure how he felt about
Briana apparently thinking the whole thing was hilarious.
“Thor? Are you listening?”
“Huh? Yes?”
“Really? So what color pants does she wear on Mondays?”
Thor floundered for a moment, before realizing that Loki was taking the mickey.
“Very funny.”
Loki threw a clean diaper at him. “Pay attention, then!”
“I was! Briana distracted me!”
Briana gurgled, then, as if to say ‘yes, yes I did.’
Loki snorted. “Alright. Hopefully she’s ready to fall asleep again.”
“And if she’s not?”
“If she’s not, then we postpone our extracurricular activities to another day
and do some more studying.”
Thor prayed that Briana would decide she needed another nap.
Loki refused to leave her to fall asleep on her own in case she wasn’t really
sleepy, and so he put her down in the cot but sat down in the armchair next to
it. Thor perched on the armrest and offered to sing Briana to sleep. Loki
suggested that if they did want her to sleep, Thor’s singing probably wasn’t
going to help. Thor said that it was simply a suggestion and there was no need
for Loki to be so rude.
As it was, Briana played with her toys for a little while and then began
nodding off. She fought sleep for a while, trying desperately to keep her eyes
open, but in the end it was a lost cause and Loki made sure she was sleeping in
the right position before they crept out, and this time, shut the door behind
them.
Loki checked the baby monitor to ensure it was on and working and set it back
down on the bedside table. “I need to use the bathroom. Can you keep an ear on
her?”
“I think so,” Thor said, preferring to get straight back into it but he could
endure another few minutes. “Don’t take your time.”
“I will,” Loki said, and flounced out the door.
Briana was silent, sleeping quietly, and so Thor preoccupied himself by
flicking through the photos that Loki hadn’t put away. Loki was right, they
could do a lot better.
Loki announced his return by flopping onto the bed and taking the photos out of
Thor’s hand. “My god. Where were we?” he asked, looking at the top photo and
before putting them on the floor.
“Near orgasm.”
Loki burst into laughter. “Oh, how could I forget,” he teased, patting the
sides of his underwear.
Thor crawled up the bed. “Maybe we should skip to the part where we take off
our clothes.”
“I think that’s a good idea, Captain.” Loki paused. “Race you.”
Thor needed a moment to realize that Loki was suggesting a race to see how fast
they could disrobe, and thus lost a few precious seconds and came a miserable
second. “Not fair!” he protested, as he tossed his shirt into the corner of the
room while Loki sat before him completely naked.
“Life’s not fair, get used to it,” Loki said. “Now where did you put that
lube?”
As it turned out, Thor was sitting on it. He rescued it and put it on the
pillow next to Loki, before sliding between his raised legs. He stopped a
moment, just to take him in, heart beating a million miles a minute. “You’re so
beautiful,” he said, and meant every word.
Loki blushed and wrapped his hands around the back of Thor’s head. “I wasn’t
going to say no, you know,” he whispered.
“I meant it,” Thor said back, closing the distance between them to kiss the end
of Loki’s nose. “You.” He kissed his cheek. “Are.” Lips to his forehead. “So.”
Cheekbone. “Beautiful.” Mouth. “I’m so lucky to have you,” he whispered,
feeling a little like he was choking, quite sure he was turning his own shade
of red.
The smile on Loki’s face was worth it. “Don’t get soppy on me,” Loki said, his
breath catching in his throat and betraying how affected he was.
“Can’t help it. And you are getting so much better at taking compliments,” Thor
said, grinning.
Loki blushed and laughed. “Shut up and get on with it.”
Thor was happy to oblige. His tongue slid along Loki's neck as his hands
gripped his thighs, sliding from top to bottom to top over his skin and making
him shudder with need. When they pressed close enough Thor could feel Loki,
hard against his stomach, and his own cock was heavy and straining. With care,
Thor licked down Loki's chest, down over one breast and to the nipple, still
slightly sensitive from feeding. He lingered, for a moment, to make sure Loki
was alright with this but all he could hear were deep gasps and muttered curses
and so he started to lick, just gently at first.
Loki gripped the back of his head, but not to ask him to turn away. Thor
remembered the last time they had done this, and how Loki seemed to have
enjoyed it just as much as him, and so he kept going. He wrapped his mouth
around Loki’s breast and began to suck, encouraging the milk to flow. This time
it came easily, and Loki gasped as it filled Thor’s mouth. He swallowed it down
lest it overflow, although a little always seemed to escape, trickling down
Loki’s skin until it was almost a flood.
Thor turned his attention to the other one, eager to taste. The thin liquid
came easily again and glided down his throat, and as he swallowed he felt
Loki's hands stroking his hair. He brought a hand up to massage Loki's other
breast as he sucked, and he kneaded it in his palm, rubbing the nipple, and
clearly Loki was sensitive because he was gasping, his hands tight in Thor's
hair.
He pulled off Loki's breast and leant up to kiss him, his mouth still full of
sweet milk. He felt Loki reach for it, lapping at it with his tongue, and he
let Loki pull it from his mouth. Thor was aching now, desperate, and with one
final kiss he started to make his way down Loki's body. There was a thin line
of white down from the breast he had massaged, and he licked his way down it,
all the way down to his belly button.
He let his fingers trace the stretch marks that adorned Loki's belly, victory
stripes from carrying Briana. He kissed each gently, making his way around his
hips, and on the last he looked up to see Loki watching him. “Gorgeous,” he
murmured, and saw in Loki's skin the memory and story of new life. It was
glorious.
“Do it,” Loki whispered, and Thor just couldn't wait any longer. He scrambled
upright and Loki reached over to pull open his bedside drawer, and it didn't
long for Thor to pull a condom out of the box and find the bottle of lube he’d
left on the pillow.
He rolled the condom on before his fingers were too shaky to do any more, and
lathered two fingers with lube. He reached forwards and downwards and Loki
shifted his hips to help, and as Thor moved over him to kiss him deeply he
entered him with both fingers and swallowed his gasp.
Loki writhed underneath him, returning his kisses with passion, body shifting
and moving to accommodate the fingers that Thor had so far inside him.
Sometimes the pleasure was too much and he had to break the kiss to moan, and
then Thor had to follow him with his mouth to silence him again.
“More,” Loki gasped, and Thor kissed his chest.
“Be patient,” he murmured against his skin, and licked a line to Loki's nipple
before taking it back inside his mouth. He sucked hard and swallowed, and
entered Loki with another finger, and Loki shook so strongly that Thor could
feel his legs hitting him in the side. He punched his fingers in and out and
sucked at Loki's breasts until his chest was covered in dashes of white.
Only then did he slide out his fingers and prepare himself. He bent down, but
only to lift up Loki, and sat him on his lap. With desperate eyes Loki grinded
up against him and Thor felt their cocks slide against each other and Loki's
breasts rub on his chest, and unable to wait any longer he lifted Loki's hips
with two strong hands. Loki found his cock and let Thor settle him down again,
guiding him into his hole, until he'd sunken down as far as he could go.
They breathed as one, foreheads pressed together, and Loki let his tongue flit
out to lick off a spot of milk on Thor's lower lip. They kissed, and Thor held
Loki, keeping him still until he was whining to be let free.
Loki balanced with a hand on Thor's shoulder as he rose, then sank again, and
after a few moments of slow, steady sex Thor raised his hips as Loki slid down,
and then they were in rhythm together, bodies hot and sweaty. As they fucked
Thor found Loki's chest again and sucked until his chin was white with it, milk
dribbling down his jaw, and Loki had to lick it off again.
Without warning Loki pushed against his shoulders and flung him back towards
the bed, and then he was holding him down and pushing up and down on his cock.
Thor looked down and saw Loki's breasts, low now, and beyond that he could see
his cock, hard and stiff, and Loki taking it inside him, again and again.
Loki was rambling, strange words that didn't mean anything, and Thor felt the
same – that all this pleasure inside him had to go somewhere and so out it came
in words, and he told Loki how sexy he was and how it felt so fucking good, and
it must have had the right effect because Loki gasped and fucked himself
harder.
Thor was so close he could almost see it, and Loki was nearly crying, his eyes
streaming with tears, and so Thor knew he wasn't far away either. He glanced
down again and saw Loki's nipples dribbling with milk and the sight made him
shudder and then he was coming, pushing up into Loki with all he had.
Incoherent with pleasure he pulled Loki down for a kiss, his body trembling,
and Loki tightened around him and took what he could.
“Fuck!” Thor gasped, and pulled out of Loki, his chest heaving and white with
drips of milk. Loki was begging, beyond desperate, and Thor lifted him until he
was resting against the pillows once again. He pulled at Loki's nipple with one
hand and fisted his cock with the other, and Loki was barely able to gasp a
warning before he came, strips of semen lacing his chest. He was still coming
when Thor bent down, hungry for the taste, and lapped at the whiteness that
covered him.
“Oh my god,” Loki said, his voice trembling, and grasped at Thor's hair as he
licked at what he could. “Oh my god.”
Thor cleaned him, finding every drop, and moved down to kiss his softening
cock. He pulled off the condom and tossed it in the trash can, and even before
it had hit the bottom Loki was licking his chest, his tongue so much more
delicious than a tissue or a cloth.
Thor slid a finger over the opening between Loki’s legs, rubbing it gently.
“You're still wet,” he said hoarsely, and Loki looked up at him, eyes bright
and shining.
“Yeah?” he said, and something shifted inside Thor at the sound of his voice.
“Yeah. Want me to fix it?” he asked, buoyed by the courage that came from
really awesome sex.
“You sure?” Loki asked, serious, but nothing in his demeanour suggested he
wasn’t interested, and so Thor nodded his head. “Ok.”
Slowly, Thor moved until he was lying down. After a moment’s hesitation and
then vocal encouragement from Thor, Loki straddled him, facing the wall, and
shifted upwards slowly until he was above Thor's face.
Below him, Thor lifted his hands to cup Loki's ass, pulling apart his cheeks
almost reverently, until he could see Loki's hole, still stretched and open. He
pushed a finger in first, making Loki shake and gasp, and watched it slide in
and out for a while. Then Loki said his name, as if as a warning, and Thor let
his finger slip out. He reached up and kissed Loki's skin, and then moved to
his hole. He licked around it, cleaning up what he could, sucking on the skin.
His courage building, his tongue glided slowly over Loki's hole, just gently,
and then Loki sounded like he was almost dying.
“That ok?” Thor asked, breathless, and it took a moment for Loki to compose
himself and tell him to keep going.
Tentatively, Thor began licking him again, not sure how far to go or what Loki
liked, and decided to let Loki’s gasps and moans guide him. He pressed a little
deeper, and Loki only just managed to muffle a squeal, his body clenching.
“More, keep doing that,” Loki gasped, before Thor could second guess himself.
“Please.”
Happy to oblige, Thor kept at his task, letting his tongue slide inside. Loki
was mewling and moaning above him, his entire body shaking, and just the
thought that Loki was getting off to this made him hard. Rimming was something
he’d never thought he’d do himself, given that it had never appealed to him
with previous partners. But with Loki? He’d do anything. He could taste the
strawberry lube, and chased it with his tongue, sliding his hands up the front
of Loki’s thighs to steady him.
“More more more… please,” Loki begged, and Thor realized that Loki was stroking
himself when their hands collided at his groin, and just the thought made his
cock twitch. “God gonna come, gonna come… uh, Thor!” Loki pulled off him
suddenly, leaving his hands empty, but Loki had just scooted backwards until
his cock was in front of Thor’s mouth. He didn’t hesitate.
He took Loki as deep as he could, sucking hard with no pretence to tease. He
fondled Loki’s balls with one hand and reached down to slide two fingers inside
him with the other, and that was enough, because Loki was coming in his mouth,
body jerking above him, muffled swear words slipping through the hand on his
mouth.
“Oh god!” Loki exclaimed as Thor sucked the last out of him, swallowing it with
the rest, and then with trembling legs dismounted to lie beside Thor. “Ohhh…
that was amazing.”
“Yeah?” Thor asked, pleased that Loki had enjoyed it but very conscious of his
hard cock. He was dying for release.
“Yeah. Oh, were you wanting something?” Loki asked, his smile too fond to be
patronising.
“Maybe,” Thor said, and winced. He wasn’t sure any more blood could fit in his
dick but it seemed like his body was trying.
“Let me help,” Loki said, the words like heaven to Thor’s ears, and the hand
that suddenly enveloped his cock even better. “I’ve never had anyone do that to
me,” he whispered, and Thor was under no illusions as to what he was referring.
“It was incredible. You’re so amazing.”
“Keep going,” Thor said, grinning, and Loki slapped him lightly on the chest.
“Be serious,” Loki said, but he was smiling just as much as Thor, and his hand
was working him perfectly, doing it just the way he liked, and by Christ he was
not going to last long. Loki wasn’t letting up, wasn’t going to tease him, and
Thor was pretty sure he was going to implode and leave a mess, and then Loki
rubbed the head of his cock at the same he was jerking it and fuck fuck fuck…
“Fuck baby just like that, yes, yes…” Thor could feel his orgasm building,
everything tightening, and then there was the moment of release and his mind
went blank with pleasure, body twitching as something akin to electrical shocks
raced around inside him, and Loki was milking him, his hands magic…
He came around to Loki cleaning his stomach with his tongue, and the sight
alone was enough to make his exhausted cock twitch. “God, Loki…”
“I had to try and return the favour somehow,” Loki said, and went back to his
post-coital activity. Thor was tired, so sated, ready to sleep, and he closed
his eyes, the bed so comfortable.
He wasn’t sure how long Loki let him sleep for, but when he was shaken awake
Loki’s hair was wet and he smelt like almonds, his skin still glistening with
water. “Dinner’s in 15 minutes, have a shower if you want one.”
Thor wanted to protest that he had no spare clothes, and he was too tired to
get up, but then reality hit and he realized that he was covered in a mixture
of breast milk, come, and saliva, and he was about to have dinner with his
boyfriend’s family, so perhaps a shower was in order, after all. He groaned and
rolled out of bed, literally.
“I’m a zombie,” he pointed out drowsily, but Loki just pointed towards the
shower and grinned.
“Thor!” he called after him, when Thor made for the bathroom automatically.
“What?” Thor mumbled, his brain fuzzy.
“For god’s sake, put on some clothes!”
“Oh. Right.” Loki had to help him gather up his clothes from where they’d been
thrown, and then procured a clean pair of boxers for him that he was pretty
sure he’d fit. Thor got his jeans on somehow and then, holding the rest of his
clothes in one hand, staggered towards the bathroom.
He stood for a while under the hot spray, letting it clear his head until he
felt human again. He used Loki’s toiletries again, and, after his shower,
borrowed someone’s mouthwash before putting it back exactly as it was before
he’d touched it. Feeling more respectable, he re-joined Loki, who insisted on
blow drying his hair. By the time Loki was finished, Thor wasn’t sure if he was
at his boyfriends or a hairdressers.
“There. You look gorgeous,” Loki said, putting his brush down.
“Mmm. Thank you, darling.”
“You’re welcome.” Loki wrapped his arms around Thor’s neck and leaned on him,
kissing his cheek. “You know what?”
“What?”
“We didn’t finish Twenty Questions. We got distracted.”
“Oh. So we didn’t.”
“So you know what?”
“What?”
“Next time, it’s your turn.”
“I thought I get to do what I want with you if I pass my test?”
“Well, yes, that still stands, but you have to pass your test first, don’t
you?” Loki teased, before saying, “I don’t think you’ll have a problem, though.
You did really well today.”
“Want to sit it for me?” Thor suggested, only half-kidding.
“Ha. I think they’d notice it wasn’t you, believe it or not.”
“I still think it’s worth a shot.”
“You would. Now, come, dinner time. And if anyone asks, we’ve been studying all
afternoon.”
“Right. They aren’t going to believe that, are they?”
“No, not at all. But it’s easier than discussing my sex life with my parents.”
“That’s understandable. What about Briana?”
“Still sleeping.” Loki grabbed the baby monitor from his bedside table. “If she
wakes up I’ll come back for her.”
Ane knocked on the door just then, and called through the wood that dinner was
ready.
“I hope she made enough for your appetite,” Loki mused, as Thor stood up.
“What are you trying to say?” Thor asked, pretending to be offended.
“Nothing,” Loki said, skipping ahead of him. “Just, I kinda wore you out,
didn’t I?” he said, turning around, a cheeky smile on his face.
“Oh, I think I could have gone another couple of rounds,” Thor said, wrapping
his arms around Loki’s waist and going in for a kiss. “We’ll have to try it one
day.”
“Try what?”
“Marathon sex.”
Loki just smiled, very widely.
***** Chapter 23 *****
Chapter Notes
     So. I literally have no excuses for taking TWO YEARS to post this, so
     I'm not even going to go there, except to offer an apology and
     promise that it shouldn't take quite so long to post the next
     chapter! I haven't been completely idle though - I did go through the
     whole fic and rewrite some parts that were completely bugging me.
     Nothing major has changed in terms of plot so no need to re-read it.
     I did play around with Loki's previous relationships, so a note
     regarding that (it's the TL;DR version): you can basically disregard
     anything/one bar James (who isn't Bucky, I have to add - I named him
     that without thinking!) and Thor.
     That having been said, I am finding it hard at this length of fic to
     keep everything straight. I take notes and re-read copiously but if
     there is anything that seems very fishy please let me know and I will
     try and fix it :).
     I'm also keen to get this fic moving as there is SO much to come!
     This fic has lived in my heads for nearly five years now and I
     practically have an entire universe in there that needs to come out
     before it drives me crazy (it may be too late!). So things that may
     seem irrelevant at the moment are likely to come into play later.
     Also quick note on something that happens later in the chapter - I'm
     taking massive liberties with social services in this fic. It likely
     bears no resemblance to real life. This plays out later in the fic so
     bear with me :).
     Thanks everyone ! :3
The thought of marathon sex occupied him the rest of that night and the next
day, and motivated him to continue studying for his economics test. If Loki was
serious about letting him do anything if he passed, then Thor could be serious
about studying.
Now, that was an unfamiliar concept.
They studied again the next afternoon after school, but at Thor’s, and passed
on the opportunity to continue their game of Twenty Questions. Thor’s economics
test was the next day, and so was Loki’s Classics test, and so they studied
quietly side by side on Thor’s bed until their brains were bursting. Frigga was
so proud of Thor’s new-found penchant for studying that she made cookies
especially, and Thor spent the rest of the week picking out the crumbs from
between the sheets.
Loki couldn’t stay for dinner as he had to get home to see Briana, and Thor
walked him home slowly, hand in hand in the fading light.
“So,” Loki said, and bumped his shoulder against Thor’s. “Are you going to nail
this test tomorrow, or what?”
Thor laughed. “Well, if I don’t, I’m going to be pretty pissed off, that’s for
sure.”
Loki shrugged and smiled up at him. “You had everything down pat this
afternoon. I can’t see how you wouldn’t do well.”
“Don’t put the curse on me, Loki!”
“Like I would,” Loki said. “I’m just saying that you’ve done the work for it
and you deserve to do well. And I think you will.”
Something like a warm glow started burning in Thor’s stomach. Loki’s confidence
was not just appreciated for what it was, it also give him confidence. For the
first time, Thor was looking forward to a test. Loki was right, he did have the
ability now to do well. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t nervous.
They walked quietly for a while, enjoying the late afternoon sun and a breeze
that lifted the ends of their hair from their shoulders. After being cooped up
inside for so long, it was nice to stretch their legs and breathe in the fresh
air. The company was nice too.
Thor stayed at Loki’s house long enough to remind Briana of his continued
existence, and endure another smushed hand in his face as a welcome. He
realized he was becoming used to her shows of affection when he didn’t even
flinch. He was rather proud of that. She got a kiss on the cheek in return, and
didn’t even try to pull on his hair. He wasn’t sure if he was happy or sad
about that.
Reluctantly he parted ways with Loki at the door, kissing him on the nose as
farewell. “You should do some more studying tonight,” Loki said, thoroughly
ignoring the spectacular pout that Thor presented in reply. “You won’t regret
it.”
“I wouldn’t regret staying the night either, but I suppose that’s out of the
question.”
“Ha! Maybe another night, if you’re good,” Loki said, giving him a wink before
literally pushing him out of the door. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Thor saluted as he walked backwards down the path, glad that the only thing
that Loki had to throw at him was Briana, and he wasn’t likely to resort to
that.
*
Reluctant as he might have been, Thor did put in another couple of hours of
study that night, until he thought his brain was going to burst and there
couldn’t possibly be room for anything else in there. He staggered into bed an
hour before his normal bedtime and was asleep before his head hit the pillow.
*
All that study, however, couldn’t do anything about the nerves that starting
building up in Thor’s stomach as he took his seat in Economics the next day. He
drummed his hands on the desk top for something to do, trying not to think
about how easy it would be for him to forget everything, or for him to have
studied completely the wrong things, or for him to just totally balls it up.
He didn’t want to fail. Failing meant that he was letting down Loki, and
Briana, and his parents. For some reason, it felt like everything was now
boiling down to this moment – completing it successfully meant that things
would be ok, and failing meant that all the promises he had made to everyone
lately were just mud.
So, no pressure then.
Trying to remind himself that this test was not the make or break of the rest
of his academic career, he took a deep breath and reminded himself that he
wasn’t an idiot, no matter what Tony liked to say every now and again.
He kept that thought in his mind as the papers were given out. He stared at the
back of it as it lay face down on his desk, and wondered how a simple piece of
paper could cause so much anxiety. For the first time, he realized why Loki put
so much stock in studying.
He was so focused on being unfocused that he almost missed the start of the
test. Everyone else was on the first question by the time he turned his paper
over, almost too afraid to do anything other than scrawl his name at the top.
But the first question was easy. So was the second. And the fourth, and the
fifth .The sixth was tricky, but he worked through it. He finished the rest
several minutes before the end of the test, and went over his answers before
sighing with relief when Mr Kenney called time up. The nervousness that he felt
when he handed over his test paper was unfamiliar.
For the first time that he could remember, the result actually mattered.
*
“How’d it go?” Loki asked him, before anything else. They walked down the hall
together, Loki towards Classics and Thor towards Science.
“Good,” Thor said, and he meant it. “Really good. I think I got most of them.”
Loki’s smile was gorgeous. “I’m proud of you,” he said, barely containing his
happiness at how well Thor had done. “See, I knew you could do it.”
“Don’t! I haven’t gotten the results back yet! I might have failed everything.”
But Loki just laughed. “I doubt it. You were doing too well in your studying to
not at least pass.”
Thor shrugged, trying not to let onto how much he needed Loki’s reassurance. “I
hope so.”
“I know so. Damn, I gotta go. I have my test. See you at lunch.” Loki kissed
him on the cheek and turned to his Classics classroom where Steve was waiting
for him.
“Yeah. Hey, good luck!” Thor held up a hand in farewell. “Not that you need it
or anything.”
“I do. Thank you,” Loki said. “Don’t burn anything down in Science.”
Thor had just thought of something snarky to say in reply when Loki winked and
ducked out of sight.
*
Thor didn’t burn anything down in Science.
It was pretty hard to burn anything in Science anyway when the entire period
consisted of learning the periodic table. Thor had to settle for fantasising
about burning the place down instead.
*
Loki beat him to lunch. Thor found him halfway through the day’s macaroni,
which according to Steve was “pretty good”. Clint’s eyes lit up and he dashed
for the back of the ever-growing line.
Thor eyed it warily. If it wasn’t for his stomach growling and trying to eat
its way through his oesophagus, he would have skipped the line entirely and
just stolen Loki’s garlic bread instead.
“Don’t even think about it,” Loki said, and covered the bread with his hand.
Apparently, Thor had been speaking out loud.
“Fine,” Thor muttered, and held his head up high as he joined the queue.
“Aw, wouldn’t he let you share?” Tasha teased over his shoulder as she followed
behind.
“Apparently, it wasn’t burned today.”
“Well, that’s a first. How was your test?”
“Doable,” Thor said, with no little pride.
“He’s rubbing off on you.”
“Do you approve?”
“You know I approve. You think I would have let all this carry on if I didn’t?”
Tasha smirked.
“Huh. You like to think you have that much power.”
“And you like to think you wield more of it than you actually do.”
“Are you still plotting to take over a Third World country?”
“Who said Third World? And hurry up, I’m starving. Can we at least get to the
end of the line before Clint eats it all?”
Thor had let the line get ahead of them, and they shuffled up with their trays.
“I’m happy for you, you know that right?” Tasha said, serious now.
“Yeah. Of course.”
“And that no matter what, we’re friends, right?”
“Yes…”
“And that you can tell me anything. You and Loki.”
Something about the tone of her voice made Thor stop moving. “Tash?”
She stared at him. “I won’t tell. You can trust me.”
Thor had never had a reason to doubt her, and she knew it. There were very few
things he would not tell her. Actually, really only one… He felt strange, like
the hairs on the back of his neck were prickling, and she wasn’t looking away.
“I - …” His tongue stuck in his mouth. “Do you….”
“Yes,” she said simply, as if she had known what he was going to say, even when
he hadn’t a clue.
“I don’t think…”
“No. Later.” Tasha jerked her head, and Thor realized that the lady behind the
counter was speaking to him. Feeling rather like he was in the Twilight zone,
Thor numbly turned away.
“Uh, pasta, please?”
*
Thor slid his tray alongside Loki’s and squeezed in beside him. He didn’t
realize how out of sorts he appeared to be until Loki’s hand gripped his thigh
and he turned to meet raised eyebrows. Loki didn’t have to say anything for
Thor to know he was wondering what was up, and he half shrugged and glanced
towards the cafeteria clock as if to say I’ll tell you later.
Loki seemed satisfied at that and turned back to the remnants of his garlic
bread.
“Um, how was your test?” Thor remembered to ask, his voice sounding only
slightly stranger than normal.
Loki held his glance a little longer than usual but had obviously decided not
to press the issue. “It was fun.”
“’Fun’”? Clint said suddenly, pulling his face out of his pasta. He said
everything that Thor had been about to. “How is a test ‘fun’?”
“Well, it wasn’t a major test,” Loki pointed out. “And I like Classics.”
“But but… test…!”
It was Loki’s turn to smirk. “Yeah. And tests can be fun.”
“You’re weird,” Clint said, staring at Loki like he wasn’t sure he was real.
“Clint.”
“Yeah Tash?”
“Shut up.”
*
They walked slowly home, enjoying the prospect of a study-free afternoon
stretching out ahead of them. Even Loki, who apparently relished the idea of
reading textbooks in his spare time, had agreed that they were allowed a break
from studying every now and again.
“It doesn’t mean no more study. Even when you don’t have a test. It’s just for
today.”
“Sure,” Thor said amicably, before the rest of what Loki was saying caught up
to him. “Wait, what you mean ‘even when I don’t have a test’?”
“Have you studied so hard you’ve lost the ability to understand plain English?”
Loki teased.
“No! I just mean, why study when there isn’t a test?”
Loki rolled his eyes so loudly Thor could hear it. “Thor, darling, have you
learned nothing the past few days? Studying is not just about doing well in
tests. It’s about doing well all the time. Do you know how much easier it makes
tests and essays? You don’t have to relearn everything before you start.”
Even Thor could see the logic in that. “Okayyy… but how much studying are we
talking about here?”
Loki shrugged. “However much you need in order to understand everything you’re
meant to be learning. And a little more doesn’t hurt. Just cos you attended a
class and paid attention doesn’t mean you retained all the information the
teacher had to give. Brains don’t work like that, not for normal people like
you and I anyway. Most of the time we would only retain a small percentage of
the information that we learned that day in class.”
“Then what’s the point in even going to class?” Thor asked, indignant.
“I’m not going to dignify that with an answer.”
*
Thor lounged around with Loki for the rest of the day. Literally. His first
thought was that they could carry on their game of Twenty Questions, but he
couldn’t even muster up the energy to get undressed, and apparently neither
could Loki. Briana lay between them on the bed, having woken from her nap eager
to chew things and produce copious amounts of saliva.
“I am so sorry, she’s teething…” Loki said for the thirteenth time as he tried
to wipe off drool from Thor’s shirt. “That should come out in the wash.”
However, sometime around the sixth time it had happened, Thor had somehow
managed to get used to it. “It’s ok,” he said, grinning at the exasperation on
Loki’s face. “I’m choosing to take it as some sort of a compliment.”
Loki looked at him like he was going mad. “You’re weird, but I still like you.”
“Apparently, so does she,” Thor pointed out, trying to pull Briana away from
his shirt sleeve. “You’re a monkey, little one.”
He pulled her up gently until she was resting stomach down on his chest, her
mouth and ever-present drool dangerously close to his face. But for some reason
he didn’t mind, and then Loki tucked a cloth under her cheek, and after staring
at Thor for a minute for two she decided he was a comfortable resting spot and
lay down her head.
It was nice.
Loki shuffled closer until his chest lay against Thor’s shoulder and he could
tuck his head into Thor’s neck, and draped a hand over Briana to rest gently
against her back. “I think you’re finally taking to each other,” he said,
sleepily, smiling lazily up at Thor.
“It had to happen eventually,” Thor joked, too self-conscious to voice the fact
that he was secretly pleased.
Loki just smiled and didn’t press the issue. “She’ll fall asleep soon.”
“So will you,” Thor pointed out.
“Mmmm,” Loki murmured, not bothering to disagree. “Sounds terrible.” He yawned,
his eyes slipping closed. “She ok…?”
“I got her.”
“Hmmmpfh.”
“Good night to you too,” Thor teased, and bent down enough to kiss the top of
Loki’s head.
Loki and Briana slept as the shadows in the room lengthened, and the beginnings
of dusk slowly rolled over the sky. Thor lay on the bed, sleepless but tired,
one hand idly stroking Loki’s hair while the other carefully held Briana in
place on his chest.
He couldn’t stop thinking about what Tash had said to him in the cafeteria
queue earlier that day. Just how much did she know? Was she talking about
Briana, or did she know (or thought she knew) something else? He could text
her, right then, and ask, but it wasn’t his place, and he didn’t know what to
say anyway.
He was still thinking when Loki stirred, blinking heavily. “Ughh. Did you
sleep?” he asked huskily, his voice coming back to him in bits and pieces.
Thor just shook his head and tried to flatten Loki’s bed hair. Loki nuzzled
into his touch and reached up to check on Briana, who was still fast asleep and
drooling like a pro.
“You want me to put her down?” Loki asked, slowly finding his bearings. He
leaned up on an elbow to kiss her head.
“No, she’s fine. Let her sleep.”
“Ok.” Loki flopped back down on his side. “She’ll want to be fed soon anyway.”
“Does she ever stop eating?”
Loki snorted. “No. Gotta grow out of all those clothes somehow.” He nudged
Thor’s head with his own and stared up at him. “What are you thinking about?”
he asked, ever perceptive.
Thor thought for a minute about making something up, or just distracting him
with something else, but Loki looked serious and this wasn’t really something
that Thor could pretend would never come up again. “It’s Tash.”
“Our Tash? What about her?” Loki was curious now, and crawled up the bed to be
closer.
“She said something to me today. Cryptic, of course, because she likes to talk
like that sometimes. But I think she knows about Briana and was kinda telling
me it was ok to not hide it any more from her.”
Loki sighed heavily and laid his head on Thor’s shoulder. “Weren’t we talking
about this over the weekend? We thought maybe she knew, but now we’re pretty
sure she does?”
“Yeah.” Thor had forgotten about that.
The room was almost dark, and Loki reached behind him to flick on a bedside
light. “It’s ok if she knows, I think. I don’t mind her knowing.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. She won’t tell anyone. She seems like the sort of person who could never
break a promise.”
Thor smiled, because that was Tasha through and through. “You can say that
again.”
“I would, if I wasn’t still tired.” Loki yawned, and Thor could hear his jaw
crack. “Maybe tomorrow.”
“What, tell her tomorrow?” Thor asked.
“Yeah, after school. Oh wait, tomorrow’s Thursday.” Loki made a face. “Maggie’s
coming round.”
The mood had changed; Loki was suddenly subdued. Thor shifted as much as he
could with a baby on his chest and managed to wrap an arm around Loki. He
wasn’t quite sure what to say, because Loki still seemed anxious about it and
Thor was out of his depth here. There really wasn’t anything practical he could
do to help and he hated that.
But Loki smiled, though Thor could see that it wasn’t exactly an accurate
representation of what he was feeling. “I’m sure it’ll be fine,” he said, as if
by saying he could convince himself, and before Thor could continue to think
about how useless he was in these sorts of situations Loki ducked out from
under his arm and rolled off the bed. “I need a drink,” he said. “Soda?”
“Yes, please,” Thor said, suddenly realizing how thirsty he was, and perhaps
slightly glad for the change of topic.
“Cool, I’ll be back. You can sit up if you want, just keep a hold of her head.
She probably won’t wake, not just yet anyway.”
Thor listened to his footsteps as he went up the hall towards the kitchen, and
he bent his head forward awkwardly to kiss Briana’s head. “Will you get annoyed
if I do sit up?” he asked her, despite her obvious lack of ability to answer.
His back was aching from lying in the same place for so long, and he wanted to
move. He held her carefully and sat up gently and quietly, quite pleased with
his skills when she barely stirred. He was getting better at this baby
business.
With a sign he settled against the headboard of the bed, relieving the ache in
his back. He adjusted Briana so they were both more comfortable and he had a
hand free. Loki came back in with a can of Coke and he accepted it gratefully,
even more so when Loki took pity on him and popped the tab off the top.
“What time is it?” he asked, not even sure when he ought to leave.
“No idea. Give me a sec.” Loki grabbed for his phone, fumbling with it before
he could swipe it open. He looked perplexed, and Thor figured it wasn’t because
of the time.
“What is it?”
“I have a missed call from an unknown number,” Loki said, still looking
somewhat confused.
Thor shrugged. “It happens.”
“No, it doesn’t,” Loki said, coming back to the bed to sit down. “I changed my
number when I left Alaska. No-one knows it apart from my parents, Mormor, and
you guys. And I put everyone in the address book so I would know who was
calling.”
“It’s probably just a wrong number,” Thor pointed out.
Loki noticeably relaxed with his explanation. “Yeah. You’re right, it probably
is. I know I’ve done that before.” He closed his phone before tossing it gently
onto the bedside table. “It’s 6.30 by the way.”
“Ugh,” Thor said. “I should probably go. Mom’ll have dinner nearly ready.”
“You can stay you know,” Loki said, looking a little hopeful.
Thor was tempted, very tempted, especially considering how amazing the food had
always been, but he knew he was treading a fine line with his mother when it
came to how much time he spent at home. “I’d better not,” he said reluctantly.
“If I go home today for dinner I can probably stay tomorrow night, if you still
want me here when Maggie comes.”
“Yes,” Loki said instantly. “I’d like you here. You should meet Maggie, you’ll
like her. Just sucks you have to go now.”
“I know,” Thor said, unable to disagree, and he reached over to kiss Loki on
the cheek. “Now, how do I hand her over so she doesn’t wake up and scream the
house down?”
“Very, very carefully.”
Thor divested himself of his now empty can of Coke and they managed to transfer
Briana from one set of hands to the other without so much as a whimper from the
lady herself. Loki declared it a success and manoeuvred himself off the bed
carefully to follow Thor out of the room.
“You’re not staying for dinner?” Farbauti asked as they entered the living
area. She had just pulled something out of the oven and smelt like heaven. Thor
could feel his mouth start to water. He almost caved in and hated that he
couldn’t.
“Not tonight,” Thor said, and shook his head sadly.
“He will tomorrow night, if that’s ok,” Loki said.
Farbauti nodded in understanding. “Of course. You’re welcome anytime.”
Thor wondered if anybody would notice if he just moved in. “Thank you,” he
said, and meant it.
Farbauti gave him a hug goodbye, and so did Loki, even if it was slightly
awkward with a baby between them.
“See you tomorrow morning?” Loki asked, and Thor answered with a kiss.
“As always. I’ll bring you a Pop-Tart.”
Loki snorted. “I don’t think so!”
“Not even a blueberry one? With frosting?”
“Go home, Thor,” Loki said with a knowing smile, and pushed him out of the
door.
*
Thor trundled home his usual route in the fading light, not paying much
attention to anything until someone called his name. He looked up to see he had
made it to the Johnson’s house, and Mr Johnson was outside, leaning on his
spade. “You living inside your head again Mr Odinson? That’s the third time I
said your name.”
Thor knew him well enough to know he wasn’t annoyed, even if the giant grin on
his face didn’t give him away. It was nice to see him again, especially after
how welcoming they had been to Loki.
“Evening, Mr Johnson,” he said, turning off the footpath and heading up towards
the house. He suspected his mother wouldn’t mind him being late if he said he
had gone to the Johnson’s. Her soft spot for them was even larger than his.
“What are you doing wandering around at this time of night?” Mr Johnson asked,
resting his spade against a pile of bags of soil.
“Being a delinquent,” Thor replied, matching Mr Johnson’s grin.
“Ha I’ll say you are. Happens to everyone. Boy, I could tell you some stories…
but not while the Missus is around,” he said, winking. Behind him Moira was
bustling down the steps, her bright apron dusted with white flour.
“Thor!” She held her arms out wide for a hug and Thor obliged, not minding the
white dust he now wore as well. “He’s not talking your head off out here is
he?” she asked fondly, while to the side Mr Johnson scoffed, shaking his head
in mock despair.
“As if I could, when you can still get your words in edgewise. How are you
faring, Thor? How’s school?”
“School’s good,” Thor said truthfully. “Loki’s been helping me study.”
“How is that boy? When are you bringing him back round?” Moira asked, only now
seeing the flour on her apron and brushing it off furiously so it swirled
around them in billows of white.
“Soon, I promise.”
“Ain’t scared him off have we?” Mr Johnson asked, and Thor suspected he was
only half-kidding.
“No! Not at all. The opposite, I think.”
Moira beamed. “Good. Then you bring him back this weekend.” It wasn’t a
question, and she wasn’t expecting an answer. It just would be, and Thor knew
it had been that way ever since he was a child.
“I will. Thank you.”
“No need to thank us. Now, I’d ask you in, but I suspect your mother wants you
home for dinner.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry I couldn’t stay.”
“Us too boy, us too. Be mindful though, if you coulda stayed you might have
found yourself hauling these.” Mr Johnson pointed to the pile of soil bags, and
Moira smacked him in the arm.
“You’ll do no such thing. Not before I’ve fed him, at least.”
Thor laughed. “I don’t mind helping, Mrs Johnson.”
“I know you don’t. And that man has a poor a back as he’s ever had. He’s
getting too old for this. But you aren’t obliged to lift a finger for him.”
“I can help, I want to,” Thor said, well aware of how age was creeping up on
the Johnson’s. “You don’t have to ask. I can come Friday, if you like. I have
something on tomorrow afternoon.”
Mr Johnson was opening his mouth to say no, and so Thor cut him off. “I do mean
it. Friday. I can help you shift them. I really don’t mind.”
Apparently Mr Johnson knew when he was beat, and he closed his mouth and half a
half-hearted shrug. “Well, I won’t say no, and that wife of mine will feed you
good. You come around any time, we’ll be here.”
“I will. I’ll see you Friday.”
Moira reached forward for another hug, and this time she was longer to let go.
“You’re a good boy Thor Odinson. I’ll be sure to let your mother know. She
raised a good one.”
Thor blushed, not quite sure what to say and not entirely sure he deserved the
praise. But it was rude to protest, so he just smiled, a little embarrassed,
and took his cue to leave when Moira turned to go inside and Mr Johnson pulled
up his spade again.
“Friday,” he said in farewell, and raised a hand.
“Friday,” Mr Johnson echoed, and tipped an imaginary hat at him.
*
For the first time since Thor had met him, Loki was too preoccupied with other
matters to worry too much about school the next day. He watched him strip a
pencil bare during History, and Steve told him how Loki had stared out of the
window during the entirely of Classics – something previously unheard of.
Thor didn’t press him though; he knew what occupied Loki’s mind and he knew him
well enough to know that nothing was going to make him turn his attention to
his classes. Tasha raised a questioning eyebrow at him at lunch when Loki left
his lunch alone and didn’t open his mouth once, and Thor just shook his head
very slightly and smiled what he hoped was a reassuring smile.
Judging by the look on Tasha’s face he hadn’t succeeded.
Worrying about Loki worrying about that afternoon’s social services visit meant
that Thor hardly paid attention to his classes either. It was a sharp
turnaround to the intense work he had done earlier in the week, but he supposed
that it all averaged out in the end. He didn’t have another test for at least
another two weeks, and that would give him plenty of time to catch up.
Hopefully.
All in all, he was just as glad as Loki when the final bell rung at the end of
the day. They found each other quickly outside the school, even amongst the
melee of students that resembled a horde of hyenas that thought they had
spotted a meal. Loki clutched at Thor’s hand and led the way through, pushing
aside other people until they reached the footpath.
Loki didn’t talk on the way home. Thor didn’t push him, just let him be inside
his head. He had no idea what was going on inside there, and even if he did,
there was little he could do to help.
What he could do though, was physical. When they reached Loki’s front yard Thor
stopped them, holding on even as Loki’s hand was nearly pulled from his as he
continued to walk, oblivious.
“What is it?” Loki asked, seemingly coming back to Earth for the first time in
about half an hour.
“Nothing, I just…” Thor’s words failed him, not that it mattered, and he pulled
Loki into a hug.
Whatever Loki was going to say in response faded into the space between them as
he relaxed, becoming weightless in Thor’s arms as for the first time that day
he let himself think about something other than Maggie's visit.
When they couldn’t delay the inevitable any longer, Thor pulled Loki back onto
his feet and kissed his temple. “C’mon. Bet there’s someone dying to see you.”
Loki scoffed. “You mean drink me dry.”
“Same thing.”
Thor was pleased to see something resembling a smile on Loki’s face as he
followed him into the house. He just hoped it had reason to stay around.
Everyone was home. Thor had been to Loki’s enough times now to know this was
unusual this early in the day, though he didn’t need to ask why. Maggie’s visit
was important, and Thor was beginning to realize that he hadn’t a clue just how
much.
Laufey was on the phone, evidently having brought his work home with him. He
waved at them from the couch before going back to his conversation, his voice
low and urgent. Ane was in the kitchen, wiping everything furiously, and Thor
could smell both gingerbread and lemon cleanser, and his olfactory senses were
rather conflicted.
Loki headed down the hallway to his bedroom, where Farbauti was sitting on the
bed with a very grumpy baby, who’s screwed up face was beginning to turn an
interesting shade of red. Farbauti breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of
them that even Thor, well behind Loki, could hear.
“And the beauty of being a grandmother is that you can hand them back,”
Farbauti said, probably only half kidding.
“Is she that awful?” Loki asked, dumping his bag beside his desk. “What have
you done to her?”
“Starved her, apparently,” Farbauti said dryly. “She won’t take a bottle.”
“I did talk to her about that, but I don’t think she listened.”
“I wonder where she got that from.”
Loki had the good grace to look sheepish. “Here. I’ll feed her before Maggie
comes.” He held his hands out and Farbauti relinquished her hold on an
increasingly squirmy baby.
“She’ll be here in half an hour,” Farbauti pointed out, standing up.
“That’s ok. I’ll kick her off if she’s not done by then.” Loki slid onto his
bed carefully and made himself comfortable against the pillows, Briana splayed
over his chest.
“Good luck with that,” Faubauti said. She turned to go, but something made her
stop and go back to the bed. She bent down over Loki and kissed his cheek, and
from his place beside the door Thor could hear her say softly “Everything will
be fine.” She waited until she had a nod from Loki, albeit a somewhat shaky
one, before giving him his privacy.
“Come with me,” Faubauti said to Thor, her smile returning. “I’ll get you boys
something to eat.”
Thor was not going to say no to that.
*
“How has he been today?” Faubauti asked quietly when they were in the kitchen,
and Thor needed no explanation as to what she was talking about.
“Quiet,” Thor confessed. “Even more than usual. Nervous. I don’t think he could
stop thinking about this afternoon.”
Farbauti nodded slowly, seemingly caught up in her own world. She sighed
heavily and pulled a stack of plates from the cupboard, placing them in Thor’s
waiting hands. “I suspected that might happen. I don’t blame him, though at the
same time I don’t think anything bad is going to come out of this visit. There
is nothing I could say that could reassure him of that though.” She gave Thor a
quick smile. “Thank you for looking after him today, I know you would have.”
Thor opened his mouth but found he had nothing to say, and settled for smiling
instead, hoping his cheeks weren’t as red as they felt. He suspected he was
losing that battle.
The smell of lemon lingered long after he left the kitchen, plates piled with
gingerbread and cans of cold soda tucked under his arm where they burned
against his skin.
Loki appeared to be asleep, but he opened his eyes as Thor crept back into the
room. Briana was feeding quietly, a hand fisted into the material of Loki’s
shirt. “Food. Oh thank god. I thought I was too nervous to eat but my stomach
says otherwise.”
“Yeah I find that happens with gingerbread,” Thor mused, sliding the plate onto
the bedside table. He popped the tabs on the soda and gave one to Loki, who
drained half of it almost immediately.
“Slow down, you’ll drown,” Thor warned, tapping a finger against the frosty
side of Loki’s can.
“Not if I drink it first,” Loki pointed out, and drunk the rest.
“Is that where Briana gets it from?” Thor pointed out wryly.
“She’s worse than me,” Loki said darkly, and made a face.
“I’m not sure I want to know,” Thor said, and demolished a slice of gingerbread
in 0.2 seconds.
“Trust me, you don’t. Hand it over before you eat it all, will you?”
They ate in silence for a while, until the only thing left on the plate was
crumbs and Briana had been duly switched over to the other tap. Loki rested his
head on Thor’s shoulder and appeared to be contemplating the ceiling, which
Thor couldn’t find interesting, no matter how hard he tried.
“You ok?” he asked quietly, nudging Loki with a shoulder.
“Mmmm.”
“That’s not much of an answer.”
“I know, I’m sorry.” Loki sighed. “Can you ask me in an hour or two? I have no
idea how I’m feeling right now.”
“Of course.” Thor pressed a kiss to the top of Loki’s head. He felt a little
lost, wanting to be useful but aware that the more he tried the more he
reminded Loki of the upcoming appointment. He settled for wrapping an arm
around Loki’s shoulder and shutting the hell up.
*
Loki had only just finished burping Briana when there was a knock on the front
door that echoed down the hall and throughout the house. For a moment Loki
looked startled, and Thor watched him carefully for what he would do next, but
the sudden look of calm and relaxation that settled on Loki’s face surprised
him.
“She’s here now, we can finally get on with it,” Loki said in explanation, and
smiled, before hoisting Briana onto his hip and making his way down to the
living room.
Farbauti had already let Maggie in by the time they got to the living room. She
was a bubbly lady with tight blond curls, very bright purple nail polish and a
sweater that resembled a Jackson Pollock painting that quite possibly had been
made by her grandmother. She saw Loki and smiled, looking genuinely delighted
to see him, and Thor could almost feel the warmth that seemed to radiate from
her. Thor liked her immediately, and she hadn’t even opened her mouth.
“Loki!” She opened her arms wide and swept Loki and Briana up into a careful
hug that lasted a little longer than normal social conventions would allow.
Loki looked slightly dishevelled when he exited and Thor didn’t blame him.
“How have you been?” she asked warmly, as if the answer really mattered to her
– and Thor had no doubt that it did.
Loki nodded his head. “Good, really good. Everything’s going really well.” For
the first time in a long time was unspoken, but heard by everybody.
“Well I am very pleased to hear that,” Maggie said. “And I trust this young
lady is keeping her end of the bargain?” She stroked Briana’s head carefully,
and Thor wasn’t sure what to think when she didn’t even try to drool all over
Maggie.
“She’s… growing,” Loki said, with a little exasperation, which made Maggie
smile. “But yes, she’s behaving most of the time.”
“You just wait until she learns to crawl,” Maggie said to him, with a wide
smile and a wink that made Thor wonder just what on earth he had to be prepared
for. “So, is this him then?” Maggie asked suddenly, raising a sharply defined
eyebrow at Loki, and it took Thor a moment to realize that she was talking
about him.
Loki went bright red before mumbling a confirmation, and Maggie nodded
appraisingly. “Well, I see what you mean.”
Thor wasn’t quite sure what to make of this and looked to Loki for an
explanation, but he suddenly didn’t seem to want to look Thor in the eye. Ane
and Farbauti were grinning knowingly in the background, and Laufey was looking
resigned and shaking his head, refusing to look at anybody.
“What?” Thor asked, completely oblivious.
“I definitely see what you mean,” Maggie said, laughing. “Come on, shall we sit
down?”
Ane led the way over to the couches as Farbauti went to the kitchen to fetch
coffee and drinks, and the rest of the gingerbread that Loki and Thor hadn’t
yet demolished. Thor found himself alone next to Loki, who smiled and silenced
Thor’s unasked question with a playful headbutt to his shoulder. Thor figured
that now apparently wasn’t the time.
He followed Loki over to the couch and sat down, and tried very hard not to
think about what he and Loki had done a couple of weeks ago on it. Beside him
Loki appeared to be thinking the same thing, if his sudden look of awkwardness
was anything to go by. Thor sat very still and tried not to look guilty.
Over the gingerbread and about 20 cups of tea they went through what Thor
figured was social services 101. What he assumed were the routine questions
were first – how was Loki coping with Briana and with school, how were his
grades and attendance, was he getting enough sleep, and a dozen others that
Thor already knew the answers to. When she asked about school Thor felt like
butting in and telling Maggie that Loki was shaming the rest of their grade and
it was completely embarrassing, but he didn’t think Loki would appreciate that.
When Maggie broached the subject of Briana’s health, Loki was keen to discuss
her second hospital visit, well aware that Maggie probably didn’t know anything
about it. She didn’t, and after a lengthy rundown of everything that had
happened and the return to good health of the lady in question Maggie seemed
rather unconcerned, which relieved Thor more than he expected. They moved onto
Briana’s weight, and her slow but steady introduction to solids.
Next to him, Loki had begun to fidget a little, and Thor knew he was wondering
if Maggie would get to the point – why this extra appointment? Thor had to
admit to being rather curious as it didn’t seem that she was at all worried
about the care that Loki and his family were providing – rather, the opposite.
Maggie seemed delighted that things were going so well, and that Loki had
managed to resume his education with little or no disruption while Briana
missed out on nothing. Thor had thought she was laying it on a little thick
before coming to the realization that it was highly likely that this was not
the norm for her clients, and that Loki was probably a breath of fresh air.
Finally, it seemed that the time had come to move things on. Maggie settled her
cup and saucer on the coffee table and reached into her satchel for a sheaf of
papers. Thor could feel Loki stiffen beside him. Out of the corner of his eye,
he could see Ane and Farbauti doing the same.
“Right,” Maggie said brightly, as if all this had not been the cause of a lot
of undue anxiety in the Jenssen household over the past week. “I’m not sure if
you have seen the new changes to social welfare?” She looked up expectedly, but
it was clear by the blank looks that no-one knew what she was talking about.
“Well, that’s understandable. Not really something that makes the local paper.”
She laid the papers out on the coffee table, flicking through until she found
the one she was looking for. Whipping it out of her pile, she held it out to
Loki. “Have a read through dear.” Loki wriggled a hand out from beneath Briana
– who was fast asleep and blissfully ignorant of all the fuss she was currently
the cause of – and took it from her carefully. He skimmed read the document,
brow furrowed, while across from him Ane and Farbauti looked anxious to learn
more. Laufey had claimed the armchair next to where Loki sat on the couch, and
he had just settled for looking rather suspicious, his arms folded across his
chest.
“This is different,” Loki said, looking up, and he wriggled his hand so the
paper flapped up and down. “I thought I didn’t qualify.”
Maggie nodded vigorously. “Under the old rules you didn’t, because your
household income was above the threshold and it was safe for you to remain
here. However, now that doesn’t matter – you qualify regardless. Things are
getting a bit of a shake-up – long overdue in my opinion.”
Loki looked as though he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure how to say it.
He glanced over the document again, apparently making himself sure of something
before passing the paper over to his mother, who took it quickly. “What does it
mean?” Loki asked, reclaiming his previous hold on Briana.
“What it means is that from next month the state will begin paying you a set
amount per week into a nominated bank account of your choice. Of course, the
money is paid out on the understanding that it is to be used for the
maintenance and care of you and your daughter, to ensure that the both of you
have all you need. It’s not audited of course, but that’s the general
expectation. This will continue until she reaches 5 years of age, after which
the amount is adjusted to allow for additional school expenses.”
Loki remained silent, his eyes unfocused as he appeared to be taking it all in.
He looked a bit blindsided, and Thor guessed that this wasn’t what he was
expecting to hear. From Thor’s perspective it just sounded like free money (if
there was such a thing) but he kept his mouth closed, because he couldn’t claim
that what he understood was the same for Loki.
Ane and Farbauti had finished pouring over the piece of paper and turned it
over to Laufey, who began scrutinising it like there was a catch that Maggie
had chosen not to point out. Thor didn’t think that that would be the case at
all, but he did have zero experience in these matters.
“Do I have to take it?” Loki asked slowly, beginning to rock Briana gently in
his arms. “Is it compulsory?”
Maggie looked startled – Thor supposed that she hadn’t had any of her clients
say that to her before. “Well,” she started, clearly trying to think of
something to say, “no, not really. We aren’t going to force to you take it. But
we would ask why you wouldn’t want it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Simply that we would need to ensure that the money was not being denied when
it would otherwise be of use – if the child was not receiving an acceptable
standard of care. As you can imagine, it is not a situation that we find often.
Of course, if you truly wish to not receive the money, that is up to you – I am
entirely satisfied that you are providing for Briana in all facets of care. In
your case it would not be a cause for concern. But you understand that we need
to ensure that this is a matter of record for ourselves.”
Loki seemed mollified, and relaxed. “Of course. I just – well, we didn’t need
it before.”
Thor had been watching the exchange in interest, and realized that perhaps Loki
had more of Laufey in him than he had estimated. This was a matter of pride for
them, and Thor could understand that, but he could also understand that surely
with the amount of clothes, diapers, and other things that Briana went through
so quickly that this extra money could be a blessing, surely, not a curse?
But this wasn’t his business, and he kept his mouth shut.
Ane and Farbauti had remained silent, and were now looking at Laufey, as if he
held the answer to this. But Laufey looked at Loki before he spoke, and what
passed between father and son Thor wasn’t sure. All he knew was what Laufey
said after.
“Can we discuss this as a family first?”
“Of course,” Maggie said. “Take all the time you need.”
“Thank you,” Loki said quietly, and by the look on his face Thor knew that his
brain was already going a mile a minute.
“Not a problem.” Maggie ruffled through her pile of papers and extracted a few
before handing them over to Laufey. “There’s more information in here, as well
as on our website if you would like to have a look. If you have any more
questions you know that you can phone me any time, and I’m happy to pop back in
at any time that suits you.”
“Thank you,” Laufey said, and gave her a respectful nod. “We appreciate it.”
“My pleasure,” Maggie said, her warm smile lighting up her face. “I do really
enjoy our visits – and thank you for accommodating me when it’s not our usual
week.”
“We did get a bit worried, to be honest,” Ane said, which Thor thought was a
rather spectacular understatement.
“I’m sorry,” Maggie said, and Thor could tell she meant it. “I was hoping they
would put more information in the letters so as to not alarm you, but I suspect
it fell on deaf ears.”
“We’ll forgive you,” Loki said, with a bit of a cheeky grin.
“Well thank you, Mr Jenssen. I’m sorry to not be able to stay longer, but I do
have another appointment and it’s not local. But before I head off, I have a
few things in my car for you Loki. Perhaps I could borrow Thor?”
Loki grinned. “Just as long as you return him in the same condition.”
“I make no promises I cannot keep,” Maggie said, waggling a finger at him. “But
I will do my best. We won’t be long.”
Thor found himself following her out of the house, where he found that her car
was more of a van, and when she had said she had a ‘few’ things, she meant a
lot. It took a few trips but between the two of them they managed to get
everything inside and in a pile in the living room.
“Where does all this come from?” Thor asked on one trip, curious.
“Oh, all sorts of places. Most of this is donated from large companies who can
afford it, but there are some things from local businesses as well. Sometimes
it’s because they are benevolent, sometimes because it’s a good way to promote
their products. Sometimes both. Whatever the reason, we are always grateful for
it, and never turn it down. It all gets used.”
Thor nodded, his arms stretched around a giant box of diapers. “Especially
these, I guess.”
Maggie glanced over and then laughed. “Oh, you have no idea.”
“I’m starting to get the picture,” Thor said wryly.
“And just think, only another couple of years to go,” Maggie said, and winked.
Thor wondered if it was too late to back out.
*
Maggie couldn’t linger any longer and said a hasty goodbye. Farbauti made her
take another slice of gingerbread for the road, she promised to be back in
three weeks and then she was gone, her still over-packed van lumbering off down
the street. Thor watched her go and wondered how it would all go with her next
client.
“Well, of all the things that visit could have been about, it could have been
worse,” Ane mused, flopping back down on the couch with a sigh. “Just a pity we
didn’t know about it before hand – might have saved some grief.”
Farbauti nodded her head in agreement and sat down next to her. “I do wish we
had known. I have a lot of questions. What do you think about all this, Loki?”
“I have no idea,” he said. “I think I need to read through that stuff she gave
Dad. I don’t even know how much she’s talking about.”
“Well, it’s not thousands, but it’s not nothing either,” Laufey said, passing
the sheets over to Loki. “But this is entirely up to you.”
Loki flicked through the papers, skimming each page. “But it’s not really, is
it? I mean, you and mom pay for everything.”
Laufey raised an eyebrow. “Of course. We’re your parents. And we aren’t exactly
going to go out and make you get a job – school and Briana takes priority over
that. We don’t need the money, so it’s up to you if you want to take it or
not.”
The room was quiet, everyone lost in their own thoughts. Loki settled back
against the couch and sighed, shifting Briana so she was more comfortable in
his arms. She barely stirred. “I guess… I guess if it’s there, but it almost
doesn’t seem right taking it.”
The still of the room was broken by Ane’s sudden chuckle. “My darling, you must
be the first person in the world to not feel right about taking money from the
government.”
Farbauti and Laufey could find the amusement in that as well and laughed, and
Thor was helpless to stop his own spreading grin. He spotted Loki trying not to
giggle and poked him in the ribs until he did.
“Alright, very funny,” Loki said, swatting at Thor until he went away. “I see
the irony, so you can all stop laughing now.”
“Never change, sweetheart,” Farbauti said with a grin, pressing a kiss to
Loki’s head as she passed him on her way to the kitchen. Loki poked his tongue
out at her back.
“So, is that a decision?” Laufey asked wryly.
Loki sighed. “I have no idea.”
“Sleep on it,” Laufey suggested. “Read through all of that properly and see
what your gut says in the morning.”
“Yeah. Yeah ok. I’ll do that. I’m going to go put Briana down, she’s heavy.”
Loki was so out of balance with her tucked in his arms Thor had to help him up.
Almost as an afterthought he grabbed the papers from the coffee table before
they headed down to the bedroom.
Loki went into the nursery to lay Briana down, tiptoeing out before closing the
door quietly. He flopped facedown onto the bed and groaned into his pillow,
twisting it around his head until it covered his ears. Thor chuckled and sat
down next to him, idly patting him on the shoulder. “It’s not that bad, is it?”
“Nooooo,” Loki moaned, his voice muffled and tired. He lay there for another
second before thumping his hands down to the mattress and letting the pillow
go. “Sorry,” he said, and rolled over to his back. “I just felt like doing
that.”
Thor cracked up. “Of course you did.”
Loki screwed up his face and pretended to kick Thor in the stomach. “Shut up.”
“Make me.”
“Oh, willingly,” Loki said, and climbed onto his knees.
“Are you serious?” Thor asked, raising an eyebrow. He had no intention of
saying ‘no’, if Loki insisted of course.
“Distract me. I need to be distracted, just for a bit.”
“Am I going to distract you by taking off your pants?”
“Well, that’s a good start.”
“And your parents?”
“That’s why the whole ‘shutting up’ thing. Wait,” Loki said, and crawled off
the bed. He grabbed a CD from his stack, not bothering to look at the cover,
and turned it on just loud enough to cover any noises that might escape but not
wake Briana. It was a delicate business. He stripped off his shirt and
undershirt before hopping back on the bed and Thor decided he might as well do
the same.
“Dinner’ll be in about an hour,” Loki said. “No-one will come in before that.”
“You promise?” Thor asked, though the rapidly increasing loss of blood from his
brain meant that he was caring about the answer less and less rather quickly.
“My parents aren’t stupid, Thor. They aren’t coming in here. Now take your
pants off.”
Thor wasn’t going to be told twice. He jerked his jeans down over his ankles
and threw them in a pile on the floor, before doing the same with his boxers.
Loki was already naked, stomach down sprawled over the side of the bed fetching
lube, affording Thor a view that he could watch for days.
“Stop staring,” Loki said, his voice muffled. “I can feel your eyes on my ass.”
“Well, where else do you want me to look?” Thor said, laughing. He shuffled
closer to Loki on his knees and grabbed his hips.
“Thor!”
“Sssh! Baby sleeping, remember?” Thor bent down and kissed Loki’s lower back,
his hands sliding down to cup his ass. “Did I ever tell you that you’re really
hot?”
Loki laughed, his head still somewhere down by the floor. “Can we have this
conversation after I’ve gotten up?”
“I see nothing wrong with this position.” Thor kissed lower, making Loki hiss
and tense up, before sinking back into the mattress.
“Shit… Thor, my head is - ahhh! Oh god. Ok I’m getting up now because I’m going
to faint.”
Loki pushed himself up on the bed, swaying slightly – Thor liked to think it
had something to do with what he was just doing, but decided he was safer not
voicing that thought. Loki flopped back against the pillows and raised a hand
out towards Thor, beckoning him closer. Like he was going to waste a second.
One hand wrapped around the base of his cock while the other snaked around his
hip, pulling him closer, and looking down Thor watched as Loki’s pink tongue
darted out to snatch a drop of precum from the tip. The flushed red of his cock
complemented the emerald green of Loki’s eyes as he stared up at Thor, almost
daring him to look away, and in the next moment when Loki swallowed around him
it took all his willpower just to keep upright. Thor lost that game.
“Shit.” Thor groaned, and braced a hand against the wall. Now was usually the
time when Loki said something snarky and entirely true, but given that his
mouth was otherwise occupied Thor was spared the teasing for once. He kinda
missed it.
But Loki’s silver tongue was working magic, curling around him and licking the
underside of his cock and generally driving him crazy, and if he wasn’t careful
this was going to be over before it started. Thor tried thinking of school, of
those bags of soil he’d be moving tomorrow, of anything that wasn’t remotely
sexy in a vain attempt to stave off the inevitable. He was failing miserably.
Loki, at least, was thinking further ahead. He released Thor with a pop, his
lips wet and shiny, eyes bright, something cheeky surely percolating in his
brain, but he wisely kept it in there. “Do you want…?” Thor blurted, too far
gone to finish the end of the sentence that he’d already forgotten.
Loki shook his head. “Here,” he said breathlessly, and handed Thor the bottle
of lube and the condom he’d retrieved from his bottom drawer. Thor didn’t
bother to stop and read the flavor this time. He swung a leg back over Loki’s
lap and landed roughly beside him on the bed, not waiting for permission before
kissing him rather thoroughly.
Running his hands over Loki’s hips, Thor pulled him up and over until Loki was
straddling him, his long black hair dangling down around his face. “Like this?”
he whispered, one hand cupping Loki’s cheek.
“Like this,” Loki agreed, and reached down to kiss him again. “And hurry up.”
Thor chuckled. “Yes ma’am.” He got a rough slap for that, which probably wasn’t
undeserved. With one hand he angled the bottle until he could flick the cap
open, and squirted some over his fingers until he could feel it dripping down
over his palm. Loki gasped as he didn’t waste any time, rubbing a wet finger
over and around his hole. Thor could feel him clenching.
“You didn’t want me to wait,” Thor pointed out, giving Loki a tap on his hip.
“I know,” Loki replied, his voice muffled courtesy of being buried in a pillow
beside Thor’s head.
“Can I…?”
Thor took the sudden spreading of Loki’s legs as a yes. He tried again, rubbing
gently with his middle finger before easing it inside with a touch of pressure.
Loki squealed into the pillow, his body shaking as Thor pressed his finger in
to the hilt. He went slowly at first, until Loki slapped a hand on his chest, a
wordless demand for more. Thor didn’t hesitate.
The long, deep moan wrenched from Loki’s throat as he plunged three fingers
into him went straight to his cock. “Like that?” he asked Loki breathlessly,
curling his fingers inside him before fucking him rapidly. Loki was beyond
talking by now and settled for sinking his teeth into Thor’s shoulder instead.
For the first time in his life, Thor found himself turned on by pain. “Like
that then,” Thor said breathlessly, mostly to himself. Loki was no longer
listening.
After a few minutes his wrist was beginning to ache and Loki’s thighs were
trembling minutely. Thor had been with Loki enough times by now to know when he
was ready for more, and fumbled for the condom. He tore it open with his teeth
but couldn’t get it on one-handed. Reluctantly he slid his fingers out of Loki,
but as it turned out a hand covered with lube was not very useful. Impatient,
Loki hauled himself up until he was sitting on Thor’s thighs.
“Do I have to do everything around here?” he teased, and grabbed the condom out
of Thor’s sticky hands. With practiced fingers he rolled it on quickly, giving
Thor’s cock a few strokes out of either sheer pity or sadistic pleasure. “D-
Don’t,” Thor stuttered, gasping, preferring not to cum before the main event
had even started.
“Don’t worry,” Loki reassured. “I have a vested interest in making sure you
stay hard.” He sounded wrecked already, his voice hoarse from muffled moans and
screams into his pillow. Thor enjoyed knowing that he made Loki that way.
“Here baby.” He found the lube and let Loki drizzle on as much as he wanted,
enjoying the feel of a hand on his cock spreading it around maybe a little too
much.
“Stop it,” Loki warned, and poked Thor hard in the stomach. Thor’s retort faded
in his throat as Loki rose above him, shuffling forward until he was settled
above Thor’s hips. A hand snaked around the base of his cock, holding him
still, and Thor was pretty sure he’d stopped breathing. He slid his hands up to
Loki’s waist and held them there, just waiting. This was Loki’s moment.
Loki slid down onto him quietly, just a deep breath inwards as Thor filled the
space inside him. His pretty green eyes were closed, his teeth pinching at his
swollen red lips, and Thor had never seen anything more beautiful. Loki began
to move, hands braced still on Thor’s shoulders, his head tilted back and mouth
open in obvious pleasure.
It wasn’t the hard and fast fuck they had enjoyed so many times before. Thor
let Loki set the pace, steady and deep, his hips rocking back down onto Thor
only as often as he wanted it. Sometimes he held himself up, until only the
head of Thor’s cock was inside him and Thor had to resist the urge to slam up
into him. Loki would slide back down on him in time, and smile through his
black hair, hands forcing Thor back into the mattress.
He could get used to this. Relinquishing control was not easy for him, but in
the interests of really good sex he was willing to cede. He made himself lie
back and just enjoy it, alternating between watching Loki’s face as the
pleasure played out across his face, and the stomach clenching sight of his
cock sliding in and out.
“You like that?” Loki whispered into his ear, perfectly aware of where Thor’s
gaze was directed.
“Ye – shit! Yes,” Thor breathed, taking the opportunity to pull Loki down for a
kiss. “You feel so fucking good.”
“So do you.” Loki nuzzled into Thor’s shoulder, pressing kisses into his skin.
Thor could feel his lips and the drag of his teeth, and the painful pleasure of
those teeth biting down. He hissed, his hips jerking upwards, and Loki moaned
his satisfaction before doing it again and soothing the reddened flesh with his
tongue. That was going to bruise, Thor could feel, and he didn’t care.
Loki pushed himself upright, giving Thor more to look at, and he let himself
take his fill. Loki was touching himself, jerking his cock in rhythm with his
thrusts, precum dotting Thor’s skin beneath. Thor watched him for a while, his
brain completely befuddled with lust, his skin burning with it. He slid his
hands up Loki’s sides to his chest, rubbing over his breasts before playing
with his nipples, making Loki shudder and gasp.
“You close?” Thor asked, and Loki just nodded in reply, too far gone to talk.
“Cum on me, I want to watch.” Loki gasped at that, his cock twitching, and Thor
needed to taste. He hauled himself upright, one arm around Loki to make sure he
didn’t fall off. He closed his lips around a nipple, remembering how to suckle
to bring Loki’s milk down. He was rewarded quickly, a gush of warm sweetness
filling his mouth. Loki was panting now, an arm wrapped around Thor’s neck, the
other hand still working his cock.
Thor swallowed and sucked again, not caring that a trickle of milk was running
down his chin, because it tasted so good and Loki was loving it, his hand
pressing Thor closer to his chest. He could feel the tremors wracking Loki’s
body and knew he was close, and slid a hand down to his own cock, following it
up to Loki’s body as he thrust.
He smeared a finger around in the excess lube that covered them and worked it
into Loki carefully alongside his cock, and knew that had done it when Loki
cried out and began to spasm around him. Thor released his nipple and sat back,
enjoying the sight of Loki’s cock spurting cum all over his stomach. He
continued thrusting as his partner came, drawing it out, making him shake.
He had barely finished when Thor pulled out of him, tipping Loki over so his
back hit the mattress. He fumbled for the condom and yanked it off, rising to
his knees to shuffle closer. With a thumb he pressed open Loki’s mouth, his
other hand jerking his cock. Loki caught on and opened his mouth wider, lifting
his head to make it easier. Thor could see his tongue darting out in invitation
and didn’t hesitate, bringing his cock closer until that tongue could reach out
and swirl around the head.
It was too much and he couldn’t last, and he managed to mumble out a warning
before he was there, filling Loki’s mouth. He watched Loki swallow it down,
tongue flicking out to catch the drops that escaped, and wondered if it was
physically possible for him to cum again so soon, because he really kinda felt
like it.
But there came a point when not even Loki’s talented mouth could milk anymore
out of him, and he came back to reality and some aching knees. “Lie down,” Loki
said, grinning, and pushed at this stomach until he did.
“Uhhhhhhhh,” was all Thor could manage in response. How on earth Loki could
string together a coherent sentence after that Thor had no idea. But blissful
sleep was closing his eyes, and the bed was really comfortable, even more so
with Loki snuggling in next to him and pulling the quilt up over their bodies.
He thought he heard Loki mumble something but he was halfway into dreamland,
and that was that.
*
When he was rudely awakened what felt like barely a minute later, Loki was
freshly showered and somehow as bright as a bird. Thor felt like he had a
hangover.
“There’s time before dinner for a shower if you want one,” Loki said from his
perch on the side of the bed. He was squeezing his hair dry in a giant green
towel, as naked as the day he was born. If Thor’s head wasn’t pounding like a
jackhammer he probably would have done more than just leer and try to go back
to sleep.
“Nah uh,” Loki said, and stripped the quilt off Thor entirely. “Time to make
yourself presentable so that dinner isn’t as awkward as it would be otherwise.”
“You’re the one who wanted to have sex,” Thor pointed out, quite reasonably he
thought.
“Yep,” Loki said, looking rather proud of himself. He went back to drying his
hair. Thor sighed, and gave in.
*
Loki was right. Having dinner with your boyfriend’s family approximately 10
minutes after they all knew you had had sex was awkward. Thor figured that at
least he’d showered, and so was rather more hygienic than he could have been.
And he didn’t smell. At least, he didn’t think he did, because Loki hadn’t
decided that he had to douse him in cologne before they left his bedroom.
Everyone seemed in good spirits though, given Maggie’s visit had gone well, and
Thor soon relaxed and ‘owned it’, as Loki would probably say – if he hadn’t
been busy trying to stuff bits of mashed potatoes in Briana’s mouth. She seemed
awfully amused by it and Thor suspected she was only trying to refuse it
because it was so funny watching Loki trying to get it back in.
By the end of dinner – which was amazing, again - Loki’s hands were covered on
potato and so was Briana’s face, although she didn’t seem remotely upset about
it. Partway through dinner Loki had given up wiping his hands before eating his
own food, and so his knife and fork had gotten the same treatment. Nobody
seemed fazed by this and Thor stopped thinking it was odd after a while.
While he couldn’t say that dinners at his own house were staid or boring, they
didn’t have the same relaxed vibe as ones with Loki’s family. Here, dinner
often stretched out into the evening, as they chatted and caught up with the
news, and eventually everyone helped clear up and wash the dishes. Thor liked
it. It was nice to be able to be himself, and not what he thought Loki’s family
might want him to be.
When everyone was done he helped Farbauti and Ane with the dishes while Laufey
cleared the table and Loki dealt to the potato-covered child. Then there was
coffee and skillingsboller for dessert, still warm from the oven. Thor could
easily eat 4 in a sitting, and was completely unashamed to take the second and
third rolls he was offered.
So he was fat and warm and happy when he had to roll out the door, and didn’t
protest when Farbauti made him take a bag of leftover rolls with him for his
parents (and of course, his breakfast). When he kissed Loki goodbye at the door
it was with the taste of cardamom and cinnamon on their lips, with perhaps the
tiniest hint of potato. Briana said farewell with a fist twisted in his hair,
and Thor couldn’t help but plant a wet one on her forehead. She giggled and let
go, and Thor was delighted to have finally found her weakness.
“Thank you for everything today,” Loki said. “It meant a lot having you here.”
“I don’t think I contributed much,” Thor said with a chuckle. He’d spent most
of the time just sitting and watching.
“Doesn’t matter, that’s not the point. It was just having you here to support
me. It was nice.” Loki said it quite fiercely, as if it was coming from a place
that held a lot of bad things. Thor wasn’t going to poke it.
“It’s ok. Anytime,” he said, and meant it. “Come here.” Loki didn’t hesitate,
and buried himself in the open arms that Thor offered. They stood for a while
in the evening air, wrapped together, and even Briana was quiet – probably
because she was drooling all over Thor’s shirt.
“It’ll buff out,” Loki said, dabbing at the wet spot with a tissue, before
going back for one last hug. “See you in the morning?”
“Yeah. Bright and early.”
“Don’t be too enthusiastic Thor, you’ll explode.”
“It’s my default expression.”
“Ha. Your default expression usually involves a Pop Tart.” Loki pressed a kiss
to Thor’s cheek. “Sleep well, ok? And don’t eat all the rolls on the way home.”
“I have no idea why you’d say that,” Thor said, completely insulted.
“Uh huh! Good night, Thor.” Loki waved, and Briana stared, as if wondering why
Thor was walking the wrong way.
Thor waved back, watching Loki and Briana disappear into the warm safety of the
house and the door swing shut behind them. Enjoying the pleasant evening, he
pulled the bag open, crammed a roll into his mouth and slowly made for home.
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