Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/770826.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Supernatural
  Relationship:
      Dean_Winchester/Sam_Winchester
  Additional Tags:
      Age_Difference, Extreme_Underage, First_Time, Size_Difference, Time
      Travel, Angst
  Collections:
      Dirty+Bad+Wrong+Hot_Supernatural
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-04-22 Words: 2755
****** Finding What Was Lost ******
by lostinmymindforever
Summary
     Dean meets up with an older version of his brother and his life, and
     his relationship with Sammy, changes forever
Notes
     Dean is just about 13, Sam is 25, Sammy is 8
Dean knows that he shouldn’t have snuck out, that he shouldn’t have left Sammy
all alone in the motel room, but something was calling him. He made his way out
into the dark parking lot, looking around, trying to figure out just what it
was that had drawn him outside. He saw a figure standing over near the soda
machines, and couldn’t help but think that there was something... familiar
about the man.
Dean doesn’t know why he walks towards the man, doesn’t know why he follows him
when he walks away from the soda machines and towards one of the rooms, doesn’t
know why he follows the man inside. And yet he does. The man is looking at him
with this almost hungry look, but at the same time he looks lost.
Dean finds himself on the man’s bed, being kissed hard. And fuck if it isn’t
doing something to him. He’s never kissed anyone, kisses he gave his dad and
little brother when he was younger don’t count, they weren’t like this. The man
seems to be devouring him, hands groping, lips and tongue demanding entrance
into Dean’s mouth, and he lets it happen.
“So pretty, Dean,” the man whispers between kisses, huge hand cupping Dean’s
face, “always so pretty. Wanted to do this for a while now.”
“Who are you?” Dean moans, thinking that he should at least know who it is who
is doing this to him, no matter how damn familiar he seems.
“I’m Sam,” is the response he gets.
And Dean can see it then, knows why the man is so familiar. It is Sam, his
Sammy all grown up, big and strong, and fucking gorgeous, and damn if Dean
doesn’t want him. “Sammy, you’re... god did you get big.”
Sam grins at him, “Yeah, I did, didn’t I. God, Dean, you have no idea.”
Dean wants to reply but he finds his mouth taken once more in a scorching kiss.
Dean moans into the kiss as Sam begins to undress them, only pulling away long
enough to take both of their shirts off. Dean lets out a little gasp, hand
moving to touch Sam’s chest. “Perfect,” he whispers.
Sam grins at that, “You’re the perfect one, Dean. So much I’m gonna do with
you. Gonna treat you so good.”
Dean blushes a bit, but allows Sam to do what he wants. He can’t help but moan
when Sam kisses him again before moving down his body, kissing and licking and
making Dean feel things he never knew he could feel.
Sam wraps his hand around Dean’s cock, grinning at the moan that causes, “Gonna
make love to you, Baby Boy, gonna show you how it can be. Fuck, can’t wait to
be the first person to touch you. You’re gonna remember this forever, remember
who took your virginity.”
Dean doesn’t know why he does it, but he spreads his legs wide, which makes Sam
smile. “Want that. Want you to be my first, Sam.”
“Oh you have no idea what that does to me, Baby.”
Dean losses the ability to speak briefly when Sam sucks him down whole. Nothing
could have prepared him for that feeling. He moans as Sam begins to bob up and
down his length, then tenses briefly when he feels Sam’s fingers brush against
his asshole. But he wants this, needs this, so he relaxes as much as possible.
He doesn’t know where Sam got lube from, too lost in sensation to really care,
but the next time Sam’s fingers brush against his hole they are wet. He curses
when Sam’s finger begins to enter him slowly, pain and pleasure warring inside
of him. It hurts but at the same time feels so damn good.
Sam continues to suck him, slowly fingering him open. One finger has become
two, and Sam begins to make a scissoring motion, stretching Dean open. Dean
reaches down, fingers carding through Sam’s longish hair. Sam pulls his fingers
out, making Dean moan with loss, only to return seconds later with three
fingers covered in more lube.
Dean can hear a squishing noise and knows it’s Sam’s fingers moving in and out
of his body, stretching him wide for the man’s massive cock. And fuck if the
sight of it wasn’t terrifying and arousing at the same time, it’s huge. Dean
isn’t sure how it will fit, but he can’t wait to feel it inside of him. Sam
touches something inside of him that makes Dean see stars, and has Dean almost
on egde.
“What, oh fuck, what was that?”
Sam laughs, “That was your prostate. Felt good, doesn’t it?”
“Fuck, yes, God, Sammy, so good.”
Sam chuckled, “Yeah, knew you’d like this. Did you know you taught me how to do
this?”
Dean groaned, “God, fuck, yeah, gonna teach you. So good, please, more, fuck.”
“That’s the plan, Dean,” Sam said, voice rough with lust. He moved up Dean’s
body, kissing the boy’s neck. “Gonna fuck you now, Baby. Gonna feel so damn
good.”
Dean cursed as Sam entered him, it hurt in the best way possible. Sam was huge,
and it felt like he was tearing Dean in two. But fuck if it wasn’t amazing.
Dean wrapped his legs around Sam’s waist, holding on for dear life as the man
began to thrust in and out of him with hard, almost brutal thrusts.
“So good, Dean, so fucking good. Fuck you’re tight, god, missed this, missed
fucking you, Baby. Fuck, Dean, so damn perfect.”
“Sam, oh god, Sam, what, oh my god do that again, why’d we stop? Fuck, never
would give this up.”
Sam let out this bitter little laugh, and Dean could see tears in the man’s
eyes. He hated that, wanted him smiling, wanted him happy. This was good,
amazing, perfect in a way he didn’t even have words for.
Sam kissed him softly, his thrusts coming slower, as if he was trying to draw
this out, “I... I lost you, okay. Lost you a few months ago. I miss you so damn
much, Dean, you have no idea how much I miss you.”
“You have me now, Sammy, okay. And fuck, I’ll find a way back to you, okay?
Trust me,” Dean didn’t know where the words were coming from, they were his and
yet at the same time they weren’t, as if someone else was using his mouth and
speaking for him, as if the Dean Sam had lost had taken over his body briefly.
“Dean, fuck, Dean, I love you. Always loved you,” Sam whispered, thrusting
harder now, clinging to Dean, kissing him hard, sucking marks onto Dean’s neck.
“I know, I love you too, Sammy. Gonna come back to you, always gonna come back
for you,” Dean whispered, body shaking. His eyes rolled back in his head as his
orgasm ripped through him and he could hear Sam let out this choked off little
scream, could feel him tense up, and then he felt him come. It was an odd
sensation, but Dean knew he really didn’t mind, it was Sam.
Sam held him close, kissing him softly, tenderly, tears slowly falling down his
face.
Dean brushed away the tears, kissing Sam back. He didn’t know what had happened
to make Sam so broken and lost, but he was sure going to do whatever it took to
fix things.
Sam sent him away soon after, knowing Dean needed to get back, and part of Dean
just wanted to stay with Sam, to hold him and tell him that everything would be
okay, but he knew he had to get back to Sammy. He was certain that no matter
what had happened, he would always find a way back to Sam no matter what.
When he walked back into their room Dean saw Sammy staring at him. Guilt filled
him, he had left Sammy all alone. He walked towards Sammy’s bed, sitting down
on the edge.
Sammy threw himself into Dean’s arms, he’d had such a bad dream. Dean had died
in his arms, and Sammy had wanted to make sure Dean was alright but he had been
missing. “You died. I saw you die. I was holding you in my arms when it
happened, Dean.”
Dean felt so horrible for not being there when Sammy had needed him. “Shh, I’m
okay, Baby Boy. See, I’m okay. And no matter what, I will always come back for
you, you gotta believe that.” He placed a kiss on Sammy’s forehead, holding him
close, “Even if I leave, I will always come back, I love you Sammy. Gonna take
care of you forever.”
“Promise?” Sammy asked, looking both younger and older than his 8 years in that
moment.
Dean nodded, “Promise, Baby Boy. You and me, forever, okay. No matter what.”
Sammy bit his lip, looking at Dean’s neck. “You’re hurt.”
Dean shook his head, “Nope, not hurt. I’ll explain that when you’re older.”
“Tell me now, or I’ll worry about you too much.”
“Sammy...” Dean didn’t know how to explain it, not now. How was he supposed to
explain to his little brother that he had just lost his virginity to an older
version of him. Sammy had barely been able to take the news about what was
really going on, about monsters and demons and how their dad hunted them.
“Dean, please.”
And Dean couldn’t fight that face, couldn’t fight those pleading eyes, “I
was... I was with you, Sammy. Just... an older version of you. Okay. He needed
me, lost his Dean, but I know that his Dean will come back to him somehow.”
“Still doesn’t explain the bruises, Dean.”
“They aren’t bruises, Sammy. They’re... good. Um... love marks.”
Sammy bit his lip, and Dean was a bit distracted by that. He knew he shouldn’t
want to kiss Sammy, he was a kid, but he did, god help him he did. He wanted to
show Sammy exactly what Sam had taught him.
“Show me?” Sammy asked, tilting his head to the side.
And Dean knew it was wrong, knew he shouldn’t be doing this, but he couldn’t
fight Sammy. So he leaned forward, gently running his hand along the side of
Sammy’s face before beginning to lick and suck at the side of his baby
brother’s neck. He pulled back, seeing the mark he had left, and swallowed
hard. Sammy was wearing his mark and it made Dean so fucking hard.
“God, Sammy. Look so good right now.”
Sammy blushed, raising his hand to his neck. He needed to see so he went into
the bathroom and looked in the mirror. The mark was like the one on Dean’s
neck. He looked over to see Dean looking at him from the doorway of the
bathroom, and noticed how oddly his brother was standing, like he was trying to
hide the bottom half of his body. “Dean, why are you acting so weird?”
Dean blinked, “What do ya mean, Sammy?”
“You’re standing like an idiot,” Sammy said, that little sassy look on his
face.
“What? No I’m not, moron.”
“Uh-huh, so why are you kinda twisted around the door like that and not
standing normally.”
Dean blushed, trying to will his erection away. “Um, because.”
“Idiot,” Sammy said, walking back out of the room. He tried to peek at what
Dean was obviously hiding from him, but his brother kept twisting away in odd
directions. He walked to the bed, flopping down, “Hold me?”
Dean didn’t know how smart that was, considering the hard on he was sporting,
but Sammy had had a nightmare, and he couldn’t deny his brother anything,
“Yeah, okay. I can do that.”
Sammy grinned, curling up against Dean the minute he had crawled into bed. As
much as the nightmare had scared him he knew that as long as he had Dean
everything would be okay. But something was still wrong, Dean was still sort of
twisting away from him. “Dean, come on, stop being so weird.”
Dean bit his lip, closing his eyes tightly. He allowed Sammy to pull him where
he wanted to, mentally cursing at himself when he heard Sammy’s startled little
gasp.
“Dean, why are you like that?”
“Please, Sammy, stop asking so many questions. Just leave it be.”
Sammy turned so he was facing Dean, and could see the conflict in his brother’s
eyes. “It’s because of me, isn’t it.”
Dean didn’t want to say yes, he knew this was wrong. He kept his mouth shut,
trying to will Sammy to just let it go.
Sammy reached down, brushing his fingers against Dean’s pants, “You’re hard
because of me? Or because of him?”
Dean knew Sammy knew about sex, they’d gotten the sex talk at the same time a
few months earlier. But no matter how Dean answered that question he knew it
would be bad, so he went for the truth. “Yes.”
“Yes to me or him, Dean?”
Dean grit his teeth, cursing Sammy’s inquisitiveness, “Both, dammit. Is that
what you wanted to hear? That I’m a freak who gets hard because of his
brother?”
“Dean... you’re not a freak,” Sammy’s voice was quiet. He bit his lip, “You
want me, don’t you?”
“Yes, I shouldn’t, it’s wrong, Sammy, but I do.” Dean turned his head away.
“Why? Why is it wrong?”
“Other than the fact that you’re my brother?”
“So, what’s wrong with that?”
“Sammy, come on, you have to know this isn’t right,” Dean said, angry at
himself. He knew they were going to be together, knew it and wasn’t sure why he
was fighting this so hard. With Sam he hadn’t even thought about the brother
thing, oh he knew they were brothers, but he could also tell that Sam and his
Dean had been more for a long time. “I just... you’re a kid, Sammy. I shouldn’t
want you. Shouldn’t want to touch you. You should be allowed to be a kid for as
long as you can be.”
“But you want to, Dean. And... it would make you happy, right? I want you to be
happy.”
Dean took a deep breath, he knew this was wrong in a way that there was no
coming back from. He knew that if he did anything he wouldn’t stop, not until
the day he died. “Sammy...”
“Let me make you happy.”
Dean kissed him softly, hands moving gently down Sammy’s body. He shouldn’t be
doing this to his brother, but he couldn’t stop. He kissed Sammy until he had
to pull back to catch his breath, watching the blush that covered Sammy’s face
with a hungry look. Dean needed to see Sammy naked so he quickly undressed both
of them, molding his body against Sammy.
Sammy was so small compared to him and it made him think of how much bigger he
was going to be all grown up. Dean kissed Sammy again, rolling them so that
Sammy was on top of him. He knew he wasn’t going to fuck Sammy, not now at any
rate, but maybe there was something they could do.
Sammy let Dean move him where he wanted him, until Sammy was practically
sitting on Dean’s lap, Dean’s cock brushing up and down along his ass crack. He
rested his hands on Dean’s chest, biting his lip as Dean grabbed his hips,
rocking up against him. Dean was moaning and panting, thrusting up against
Sammy, whispering his name again and again. It felt good that he was making
Dean feel like this, made him proud.
Dean cursed, coming hard, panting out Sammy’s name, his hot come covering
Sammy’s ass and lower back. “Fuck, Sammy. Yes, so good.” He reached down,
wrapping his hand around Sammy’s cock. It was so small compared to his, but it
was still hard. Dean wondered how Sammy would look like when he came and began
to stroke Sammy until his brother was shaking and moaning and whimpering that
it was too much.
Dean held Sammy against him, knowing that what they had just done, what HE had
just done had crossed a line that he never should have crossed. But in the end,
he knew this was going to happen one day or another, his time with Sam had
proved that. He only hoped that whatever had happened, he would be able to find
a way back to him. Because Dean knew that no one would ever love Sammy like he
did, and no one would love him like Sammy.
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