Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/14008731.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence,
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M
  Fandom:
      Supernatural
  Relationship:
      Castiel/Dean_Winchester, Gabriel/Sam_Winchester, Naomi/Chuck_Shurley,
      Dean/Anna
  Character:
      Dean_Winchester, Castiel, Sam_Winchester, Gabriel_(Supernatural), Naomi_
      (Supernatural), Chuck_Shurley, Zachariah_(Supernatural), Original
      Characters, Michael_(Supernatural), Ellen_Harvelle, Jo_Harvelle, Ash_
      (Supernatural), Anna
  Additional Tags:
      Love, Transgender_Castiel, Sex, Top_Dean, Bottom_Castiel, Vaginal_Sex,
      Amazing_Dean, Protective_Dean, Hurt_Castiel, Hurt_Dean, Hurt_Gabriel,
      Hurt_Micheal, Mean_Zachariah, Asshole_Zachariah, Awesome_Naomi, Awesome
      Chuck, Chuck_is_a_Novak_and_not_a_Shurley, Heartbreak, Reunion, Other
      Additional_Tags_to_Be_Added, Castiel_identifies_as_Male, Angst_with_a
      Happy_Ending, Destiel_-_Freeform, Castiel_has_a_Vagina, Crying_Castiel,
      Sad_Castiel, Sad_Dean, Guilty_Dean, Strong_Castiel, Running_Away, Genius
      Ash, Dead_Zachariah, Conflicted_Dean, Dean_will_always_love_Castiel
  Stats:
      Published: 2018-03-18 Updated: 2018-03-29 Chapters: 3/? Words: 6662
****** Find My Way Back To You ******
by saawinchester
Summary
     Castiella was born a female. Later in her teen years she discovers
     that she is a transgender. Her parents were very supportive and
     continue to be. She embraced the masculine side and changed her name
     to Castiel.
     At the age of 17 Castiel met the love of his life, Dean Winchester.
     As their love progressed , tragedy struck. Their uncle Zachariah was
     given custody. Castiel and Dean were ripped apart forcefully.
     Castiel gained custody of Michael and Gabriel at the age of 18 due to
     abuse they faced at the hands of their uncle. Zachariah was bitter
     and sent killers after them. They had to constantly run and stay
     under the radar.
     After the death of their uncle 21 years later, finally safe from
     Zachariah, Castiel and his siblings return home.
     Alot can change after 21 years....
Notes
     So I have decided to work on another Destiel Fic. I hope you enjoy
     it.
     Please forgive me if my writing seems all over the place. English is
     my second language and I try :)
     Discalimer: I do not own anyone in this fic. Just borrowing names and
     faces for fan fic purposes only.
See the end of the work for more notes
***** Chapter 1 *****
Lawrence, Kansas
When the doctor announced “Congratulations, it’s a girl!”, Naomi and Chuck
Novak couldn’t be more happier. Their precious bundle had beautiful ocean blue
eyes, jet black hair, full pink lips and rosy cheeks. As Naomi held her in her
arms, she smiled fondly, “Oh she is precious chuck. Our baby is perfect”.
Chuck kissed his wife’s forehead, “Yes she is honey”.
The doctor than interrupted the new parents, “So do you have a name?”
Chuck and Naomi glanced at one another. Chuck than held his baby girls little
hand in his, happily saying without taking his eyes off her, “Yes her name is
Castiella Pearl Novak”.
===============================================================================
 Over the years Castiella lived a very happy life. She was loved and adored
immensely by her parents and her younger siblings Gabriel and Michael. However,
over the years Naomi and Chuck noticed that something was off. Even Castiella
herself did. 
During puberty and her teen years Castiella's voice had started to deepen to
that of a young males, facial hair started to be more popular, her breasts
weren’t growing, her adoration for males clothes started becoming a thing. As
confusing as all these new developments were, she was still having her periods.
So her parents consulted their family doctor, Ellen Harvelle.
Ellen had run her tests and necessary assessments before she came to a
conclusion on what was happening or why rather. She immediately called up the
Novaks and said she would be there in another 15 minutes time. Her clinic
wasn't too far.
Naomi and Chuck had Castiella seated between them on the couch as Ellen sat on
the opposite end. They wanted to be there for their child, protect her. Ellen
smiled at the display of affection from Naomi and Chuck, such wonderful
parents. She just hoped that the information she would provide wasn’t going to
cause a divide. 
Ellen began, “Well I just want to say that Castiella is perfectly healthy”.
Naomi clasped her hand to her chest, “Oh thank the lord”.
Chuck just nodded, “That’s really fantastic news Ellen. Is there anything
else?”
Ellen smiled at 15 year old Castiella, “Yes there is more. Castiella is a
transgender. She was announced a female and has a perfectly working uterus, but
her features and changes to body  are becoming more prominent to that of a
male. In other words, Castiella is all male except for the fact that she has a
functional vagina. That means she can get pregnant”.
Suddenly it was pin drop silence. Ellen studied the Novaks with worry. She
really hoped that everything could be fine. There have been many families who
resent their own kids and some who have accepted and continue to live with
their kids. She hoped the Novaks were accepting. 
Naomi was the first to break the silence, turning her attention to a frightened
Castiella. Her heart broke at the sight of her daughter trembling. She softly
ran her hand through Castiella’s beautiful jet black hair, gently speaking,
“Baby I just want you to know that no matter what, I will always love you ok.”
“We will always love you”, Chuck corrected kissing his child on her forehead.
Ellen let out a silent relieved breath. Thank the heavens. Castiella on the
other hand looked at both her parents. She was really terrified, overwhelmed
and wondered what now?, however, she had always found the prospect of being a
male exciting. Maybe this was something that she could deal with. Yet she still
felt that she needed as much support as possible.
Castiella gave her parents a trembling smile, clutching onto both their
combined hands. “I’m scared mom but at the same time I feel ok about the news.
And I really thank you for always being there. I love you both”.
Naomi kissed her baby girls cheek, “What is your choice honey? Tell us what do
you want? We will support you 100%”.
Castiella turned her focus to Ellen. She felt so positive and less stressed
because of the support around her. She asked, “What are my choices if I wish to
identify as male?”
Ellen smiled, “Well, you have basically most male characteristics, maybe a
little testosterone treatment, also a sex change can be provided, all upon your
parents approval of course”.
Castiella shook her head rapidly from side to side, “No, I don’t want a sex
change. I will stay natural as possible. Yes I will do hormone treatment
though”.
“Very well Castiella. I will make arrangements for you to come over to my
clinic for an appointment tomorrow”. Ellen than added, “Castiella I know that
this new revelation may be a little shocking for you and your parents. Do you
want me to set you up with a psychologist or a counselor?”
Castiella thought deeply. It was certainly something that could help her cope.
She nodded, “Ok, I would like that to. Thank you Ellen”.
===============================================================================
 
Naomi and Chuck had later revealed the news to Gabriel and Michael. The boys
were quite shocked themselves. Castiella was nervous and started to bounce her
knees up and down. Then Gabriel, the elder of the two asked looking
inquisitive, “So that means you will be our big brother now?”
Castiella smiled and looked at her parents who nodded and mirrored her
expression, “Yes. Yes I am going to be your big brother now”.
Both brothers turned to each other, big smiles on their faces as they blurted
out at the same time, “awesome!”
From that day on, Castiella changed her name to Castiel, decided to dress up
according to a way any normal teen boy would dress. A nice pair of Jeans and t-
shirt or flannel, biker boots. He cut his hair short, but the facial hair
needed to be shaved clean. He was just not ready for a beard. 
The whole school had witnessed Castiels transformation. There were many
admirers now, because well he considered himself pretty good looking in the
male form. But not all was perfect, as usual there would always be some rotten
apples that liked to push him around, mock him, tell him how disgusted they
were. He just tried to motivate himself and move on.
One thing Castiel did notice was that his sexual desires towards males had
increased. He found guys more appealing than girls. There was one guy in
particular that he really liked and that was Dean Winchester, the most popular
guy in school. A total ladies man….well he thought that Dean was. 
Dean Winchester had asked him out when he was 17 and they have been dating for
a while now. The cheerleaders looked at him with deep disgust and hatred.
Especially the head cheerleader, and Deans ex, Lisa Braeden. Of course Dean had
told him to pay them no mind.
He was thankful for a boyfriend like Dean who was not afraid to show how much
he cared for Castiel. When he told Dean his secret, he had thought it was the
end of their relationship when Dean asked for time to process this. Castiel was
hurt but than Dean came climbing in through his bedroom window in the middle of
the night, hugging him close and saying that he would always be there for him.
That night he lost his virginity.
Being young and in their prime, Dean and Castiel had craved each other nearly
every hour of the day. His mother and father had given him the embarrassing
talk of the birds and the bees when they found out that he was dating. But he
really appreciated and understood where his parents were coming from. He could
get pregnant.
They had started off with safe sex, well not the first time though. Than they
both got tested and everything was clean. Now they had sex constantly without
latex because Castiel was on birth control. They both utilized most of their
free time making out or engaging in sex. It was thrilling and felt amazing.
Eventually love happened. 
===============================================================================
They had the whole house to themselves for a whole week. Castiels parents were
on a work trip. Michael and Gabriel would be home after 3pm so the boyfriends
had lots of time to enjoy the day, seeing as they skipped school just so they
could engage in copious amounts of bendy activity.
And boy were they doing exactly that. Castiel was completely naked, bent over
the study table and being fucked from behind. This is the third round of the
day and they were just getting started. The sound of skin hitting skin filled
the room, the groaning study table, the loud moans, heavy breathing and a
squelching sound of a wet pussy being destroyed hard and proper.
Castiel was in heaven, he could see the stars right now. He was breathing
through his mouth, feeling every inch of Deans rock hard cock spread his walls,
back and forth repeatedly. Dean was now thumbing his clit as he thrust in hard
enough, jerking Castiel up onto his toes. Castiel threw his head back”, Ohhh
Uhhhh Dean. Just like that”.
Deans grip on Castiels hips tightened, he was in an euphoric state, watching
the delicious sight of his wet glimmering cock sliding in and out of his
boyfriend. The feel of the walls repeatedly gripping his cock was driving him
nuts as pleasure was building in his groin. He increases his pace, the wet
sounds were driving him crazy, he leaned in and sucked Castiels lobe into his
mouth,  letting go and just breathing heavily into his lovers ear. He coaxed,
as he drove in harder that Castiel was practically standing on his toes, “Yeah
you like that baby. Huh like it when I fuck you so damn good. Fuck that damn
soaking wet pussy good”. Dean closed his eyes, his pleasure spiking, “Fuck Cas
I can do this all damn day….ohhh honey”.
Castiel cried out in ecstasy, body trembling as Dean started to thumb at his
clit. “Oh Dean please…uhhhnn!”
Dean was trying to hold back. He wanted Cas to come first. However, it was
becoming very difficult. He needed Castiel to come now. “God damn baby. Yeah
baby. You gonna come for me? Huh?"
Castiels mouth opened, sucking air through his mouth, eyes rolling to the back
of his skull as a hot wave of pleasure ripped through him rendering him
speechless as he came. Meanwhile, Dean couldn’t hold on any longer after
feeling the pussy  convulse around his cock, gripping and squeezing him tight,
plus the sight of Cas losing it and the feeling of warm come coating his cock
sent him over the edge. He growled and shook, as his cock twitched hard while
he emptied his seed deep into Castiel. 
They both tried to catch their breaths, still joined, Dean uttered
breathlessly, kissing Castiels shoulder, “Christ honey. I think you just
drained my supply”.
Castiel hummed as Dean kissed him. “Hmmmm”. Castiel pulled away chuckling into
Deans mouth, “Baby out now”.
Dean pouted and teased, “I don’t want to. Love being buried inside you
forever”. Dean kissed Castiels shoulder and then pulled out, turning his lover
around, his lovers ass still resting against the tables edge, his soft cock
resting on Castiels soft warm pussy. He slipped his hands around Castiels
waist, leaning in and grabbing Castiels juicy bottom lip, sucking hard before
pulling back with a wet pop. He just gazed fondly into Castiels eyes.
Castiel found Deans dopey look quite funny, “What?”
Dean grinned, leaning in to peck him softly on the lips, before muttering,
“Nothing. It’s just. I love you Cas. So much. I can’t imagine my life without
you”.
Castiel was speechless. Deans words resonating in his head. His heart was
literally skipping and once the shock wore off a warm feeling settled within
him and he smiled, wrapping his arms around Deans neck, whispering, “I love you
too Dean. Very much”.
They both spent the rest of the day showing each how much they loved one
another. Everything in Castiel and Deans world was perfect….until a phone call
changed all that. 
===============================================================================
 
Castiel, Gabriel, Michael, Dean and Sam stared at the two black caskets before
them. Naomi and Chuck Novak were no more. Taken away so hastily by a drunk
truck driver t-boning their little car. Why did this have to happen to good
people? 
There were many other family members and friends that paid their respects to
the deceased. One of them was their uncle Zachariah, their mother’s elder
brother. He had come up to Castiel and his siblings, Dean and Sam stood close
comforting the Novak kids. The balding man had on a scrutinizing and
disappointed look on his face. He feigned a smile, “Well hello there Novaks. I
must say I am deeply sorry for your loss. Oh I hope my sister goes to heaven”.
He than added, “Now I know this might not be the right time to talk about this
but anyway the social services and lawyers have called…You are to live with me
now”.
“What?!” Castiel blurted out, fear gripping him. “Where?”
Zachariah aimed a sardonic look at Castiel, “Well that is yet to be decided”.
Dean glared at the man before him, “No you will not take Castiel and his
siblings from this town. They grew up here. This is their home!”
Zacharaih aimed Dean a curious dark look, “And who pray tell are you?”
Dean puffed his chest out, “I am Castiel Novaks boyfriend”.
Immediately Zachariah’s face changed to one of disgust, looking Dean up and
down. He than ignored Dean and turned his piercing disapproving face to
Castiel, “We will talk later today Castiel”.
Michael and Gabriel immediately hugged Castiel. Michael who was 10 asked, “We
won’t stay with him right Cas? I don’t like him. He is mean”.
Castiel held his brothers close, he didn’t know what was going to happen. He
was scared. He calmed a little as he felt Dean hug him from the back, kissing
his neck. Sam had also started rubbing Gabriel's back to comfort the boy. Dean
whispered, “He can’t do anything Cas. This is your home”.
Somehow Castiel didn’t believe that.
===============================================================================
 
The next day…
Dean was in the shower when his phone rang. He quickly dried himself up and
reached for his phone. It was Castiel. He immediately answered the phone.
“Hello Cas what’s wrong baby?”
The hairs in Deans back rose and fear immediately swamped him as he heard
Castiels broken crying frantic voice from the other end. He was already moving
and slipping his jeans on as Castiel answered, “Dean he-he he is tak-taking us-
now. We-we are leaving”.
Dean was already running down the stairs, he was damn terrified now, his voice
trembling, “Where is he-he taking you ba-baby?”
“I do-don’t know Dean. We never ke-kept in touch with him. An-and I think he
has moved. Oh God De-Dean. What do i-I do?”
Dean was already speeding down the road. Christ it would be thirty minutes
before he reached Castiel. He spoke firmly,  “Baby hold on I’m on my way”.
“Dean hur-“
“Cas?! Cas?!” Dean heart was now trying to clamber out of his chest. He stepped
on the paddle. “Damnit!” Dean was 5 minutes from Cas house when fate decided to
deal a cruel hand. Blue and red lights appeared on his rearview mirror, a
warning siren telling him to pull over. “No no no no!”
Dean had no option but to pull over. The officer charged him with driving over
the speed limit. Thankfully he wasn’t taken in but given a warning and a
ticket. Now 20 minutes had passed. He had to drive carefully now or risk being
arrested.
He pulled over hastily along the sidewalk. He immediately climbed out of the
car, running to the Novaks house. He rang the doorbell , no answer. He could
tell that there were no lights on inside. He started to tremble. He searched
the flowerpot where the Novaks hid the spare key and unlocked the door. His
heart squeezed at the eerie silence and darkness. 
Deans tears were already pouring down his cheeks, he felt like he was walking
on air as he scrambles hastily up the stairs, panic gripping him, he almost
stumbled to the ground many times as he tripped on his feet. He reached
Castiels door, shoving it open, charging in and yelling, “Cas?! Cas? Baby I’m
here!”
The room was dark, and empty. Dean was crying now as he ran to Cas drawers,
pulling it open to reveal that Castiels clothes were still inside. He flicked
the switch, turning the light on and saw that everything was in fact inside.
Hope flared within him. Maybe Castiel is still in town. He quickly took out his
phone and dialed Castiels number, “Come on. Come on Cas baby pick up!” And
that’s when he heard it, a muffled familiar ringtone coming from his
boyfriend’s bed. He gulped and made his way to the bed slow as he could as if
afraid. 
Dean picked up Castiels pillow and there underneath was Castiels phone. He
immediately dropped onto his boyfriend’s bed, his mind blank.He's gone. His
love was gone. Dean didn’t remember what happened, all he remembered was
welcoming the darkness.
TBC
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Summary
     Castiels, Michaels and Gabriels life of running...
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
20 Years Later…Lincoln, Nebraska
Castiel parked his 2006 blue Honda Civic in the little carpark. He sat quietly
in his seat just staring at the wooden structure and red neon blinking lights
that read Harvelles Roadhouse. This little seedy bar located half a mile out of
the city was where he worked as a bartender/waiter/cleaner for nearly 10 years
straight. The less scary 10 years of his life that is.
That thought brought his mind back to the one man that he and his siblings
feared. The one man that ruined the Novak children's happiness. Zachariah
Milton. A man who sought out to find them and destroy them to this day. And
that is why they had to be careful.
Uncle Zachariah was a cruel and vile man. He would punish all of them by
whipping them in places that could not be seen, hitting them physically while
at the same time emotionally degrading them. Castiel wanted to report the
matter to Social Services Child Protection Unit, however, Zachariah had warned
that if any of them reported, the consequences would be severe. So Castiel had
to come up with a more safer way to care for his siblings. 
When Castiel turned 18 , he found a job and claimed for custody of his two
younger siblings. The state of Massachusetts was hesitant but when Castiel
showed them evidence of abuse they immediately granted him custody and arrested
Zachariah for child abuse. Zachariah was trailed and sentenced to a ridiculous
term of 9 years in jail in Boston Penitentiary. Castiel believed it had
something to do with money and corruption. The time did not fit the crime.
While in prison Zachariah hired a few men to enter Castiels apartment and try
to kill them. So Castiel hurriedly gathered the boys and ran. They ran from
state to state for 9 whole years but no matter where they went Zachariah’s men
would be spotted somewhere nearby. Just when Castiel found his footing in the
community he had to scram. But than they managed to lose the cronies and
entered Nebraska.
They settled in Lincoln, Nebraska. Castiel looked for work in the city but
couldn’t find any. So he travelled slightly  outside the city and found
Harvelles Roadhouse. Here is where he found employment and met someone who
could help them stay under the radar, Ash Harvelle is a genius. Ash had managed
to keep track of Zechariahs goons and alerted Castiel many times to stay hidden
until they passed. No phone calls even to the ones they cared about back home.
It was a hard scarifice to make. Nevetheless, it had to be done or risk
discovery. The system worked. He and his siblings owed the man their lives.
A knock on the car door window startled him. He let out a relieved sigh as he
saw who it was. He rolled down his window, “Hey Jo”. Jo Harvelle was the
daughter of Ellen Harvelle, the owner of the Roadhouse. She was also like a
little sister to him.
“Hey Cas aren’t you going to come inside or you just going to lose yourself in
your head all night?” She raised a questioning brow accompanied with a quirk of
her lips.
“Oh yeah. Sorry just got sidetracked a little thinking about my crazy uncle”.
Jo’s face immediately shot to one of concern, “Oh my his cronies haven’t found
you have they? Ash didn’t say anything to me?”
Apart from Ash, Jo and Ellen knew about the siblings situation. Ellen and Jo
have been very helpful and supportive. They are both good people and were now
family. Ellen took up a motherly role in the siblings lives always scolding
them when they were wrong, appreciating and congratulating them on all their
achievements, attending their graduation ceremonies from local universities,
inviting them every year for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Truly one of a kind.
Castiel got out of the car but not before he rolled the window up. He faced a
concerned looking Jo, answering, “No Jo. The cronies haven't found me or us
yet. Do not worry.... Now shall we head in? Ellen must be eagerly waiting for
us”.
Jo let out a breath she was holding, “Ok Cas. Let’s go get busy”.
===============================================================================
The place was cramped up with biker dudes, passerby’s and slinky chicks looking
for an easy hookup in exchange for cash. Castiel was bartending tonight. During
midnight Ash approached, a look of joy and excitement on his features, “Cas I
need you to come to the office. I have some good news to share”.
Well Castiel was definitely interested to find out what Ash meant. Obviously it
was going to be something concerning Zachariah. He quickly informed Jo to cover
for him. Ash was pacing back and forth when he entered the office labelledDr.
Badass . Wow the place smelt of weed. He cleared his throat making the man snap
his head to him, the look of excitement back on, he blurted, “Cas Zachariah is
dead”.
Castiels mouth dropped open, “What?”
“Yeah man. Died of a heart attack. He is zip, zilch, nada. He has gone night
night”.
A surge of happiness instantly flooded Castiel, “ That means my siblings and I
are finally safe and won’t have to worry about him sending someone after us
anymore right?” When he saw Ash smile drop from his face, fear gripped him,
repeating, “Right?”
“Castiel I don’t really know if his cronies will continue their search for you
after death. I think it be wise if you continue to stay under the radar for a
while until we are certain that they have stopped. I will monitor their
movements. Once I know that they have finally given up than I will let you
know”. Ash added, “I just want you and the boys to be safe Castiel”.
What Ash said made sense. There was no guarantee that they have stopped all
pursuit of them. They will have to wait and find out. It would be safer for
Gabriel, Michael and he. He nodded, “Very well Ash. Keep me posted”.
“Will do chief”, Ash saluted. Just as Castiel was about to walk out the door
Ash added, “Hey Cas. For what it’s worth, I think that now the top dog is down,
his little puppies are bound to give up. So just hang in there ok”.
Castiel smiled feeling much better, “Thanks Ash”.
===============================================================================
Gabriel was making himself and Michael a peanut butter and Jelly Sandwich at
3am in the morning when Castiel returned home. Their big brother had called him
at 12.30am telling him that he had some good news to share when he got home.
Even being tired after work, Gabriel and Michael stayed up waiting for the
news. They both had the next two days off so that was a good thing. 
Castiel spotted his brothers in the kitchen. He walked towards the pair eager
to share the news. He greeted, “Hey guys. Still awake I see”.
Gabriel shrugged putting extra Jelly on his bread for more sweetness, “Well
when your big brother calls sounding excited to share news than hell yeah we
will wait up Cassie poo”.
“Yup I totally agree”, Michael added taking a bite of his sandwich moaning
lightly.  “Plus peanut butter and Jelly Sandwiches in the early hours of the
morning. Heavenly”.
Castiel chuckled, “Well I wouldn’t mind one for myself please”.
“Coming right up big bro”, Gabriel answered, proceeding to make Cas’ sandwich.
When they sat comfortably and full on the couch Castiel than relayed the news.
Gabriel and Michael had on their Christmas has come early faces. He knew it was
wrong to feel happy when someone died but having to run from that someone all
your life, always looking over your back for signs of danger kind of muted the
point. Maybe this was the proper start they needed. Free from adversaries.
“Cas what does this mean? Does this mean we finally stop looking over our
shoulder?” Michael questioned rather excitedly.
Castiel gave a half smile, “I wish it were that simple Michael. We still have
to keep our guards up”.
Gabriel scoffed, “Why Castiel? The guy is dead”.
“Gabriel there still may be some that would want to continue Zachariah’s orders
even after his passing. We have to lay low for a while. Ash will keep us
updated”. He held each of his brothers hands, “We cannot afford to lose each
other. We have to be sure ok? Just for a while”.
Gabriel and Michael sighed and nodded. They shared a brief hug, then huddled
close to each other just like they would do when they were little. Gabriel and
Michael laying their heads on each of Castiels shoulder. After a few minutes of
silence, Gabriel asked with a soft voice, “Cassie how did he die?”
Castiel answered, “He suffered before he died. Heart attack”.
“Good”, Michael added. “He deserves to go in an abrupt and painful way”.
“Yeah he made us suffer long enough”, Gabriel acknowledged. 
Castiel could feel the meaning behind those words. Zachariah was a bad man and
got what was coming for him. He only hoped that everything stopped after their
uncle’s death. For the sake of his brothers and himself, he hoped so.
===============================================================================
One Year Later…
On the day of thanksgiving, Ash had announced the most happiest news. It was
finally over. The cronies had stopped looking for Castiel the moment Zachariah
died. Most of them were now working for other rich folks and Zachariah’s empire
and money was now seized by the state of Massachusetts as he didn’t have a
predecessor or will. 
The siblings were in tears as everyone surrounded them. Castiel knew that the
wait was finally over. They could pick up the pieces of their lives. They could
finally move on. At 38 years old, Castiel could finally do everything as a free
man without waiting for his past to catch up with him. Everyone rejoiced that
night. 
Amongst everyone, Gabriel asked, “What are we going to do now Castiel?”
Castiels eyes started to water. He replied shakily with a smile, “We do what we
always wanted Gabe. We go back home.”
Those words sure held a lot of weight and meaning to all three of them. It was
time to go back to the place where happiness once was. Back home to Lawrence,
Kansas.
TBC
Chapter End Notes
     A/N: Thoughts?
     Feedback...
     Comments and kudos please....xoxo!
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Summary
     A look at Deans life...
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
The first thing Dean does everytime he gets back from work is make his way over
to the fridge, pulling out a beer and taking a hugh gulp. He closes his eyes as
the cool bitter liquid runs down his throat, smacking his lips together,  “Ah
perfect”. 
Today was a hectic day. There were a lot of cars brought in to be worked on.
It’s a good thing Dean loved working under the hood of a car. It was one of his
sanctuaries, distracting him from all else around him. 
At 38 years old, Deans life was not the way one would imagine it to be. No
house, no wife/husband, no kids. Nada. No all he had was a dog named Mumbo. A
goofy looking chocolate lab that was gifted to him by his brother Sam three
Christmases ago. Apparently Sam said that Mumbo would be there to keep Dean
company and that he could teach Dean how to grow a heart.
Speaking of Mumbo he was now looking up at Dean, tongue hanging out on the
side. Dean asked, “What you hungry now?” 
Mumbo barked in reply. Dean let out a heavy sigh, rubbing on the side of
Mumbo’s jaw, “Fine, Fine….Don’t get your panties in a wad”. He reached out for
the dog food, pouring it into Mumbo’s bowl, “There now eat”.
He chuckled at the way Mumbo just gobbled everything in without chewing. He
grabbed another beer and made his way to the living room. He plunked his ass on
the couch, throwing his feet up on the coffee table, turned on the tv and had
himself another gulp of beer. Dr. Sexy was on, perfecto. 
Five minutes in, Dean took a look at his empty beer bottle, shaking it. Yup
empty. His mouth felt a little fluffy, he muttered, “Need another one”. Beer
was like water to Dean. It has been that way for a very long time. He was just
about to lift himself up when his phone chimed.New message.
He picked up the device, seeing the message was from his baby brother Sam. He
sighed, his brother was just probably checking on him since it was a Friday.
Sam knows what he gets up to on Fridays. Either he gets shit faced and passes
out or he gets shit faced, fucks one of his girls that he can call on speed
dial and knocks out. It’s most likely the latter. He was in the mood for a
tight pussy. He quickly sends a message to a girl named Carla and than opens
his brothers message.
Sam: Dean I’m coming over tonight. We are going to watch s1 Game of Thrones and
have a few beers. Brotherly time.  And no buts!
Dean rolled his eyes and typed back 
Dean: Sam I kinda have plans tonight. Maybe some other time?
The reply was instantaneous.
Sam: Hell no Dean. Cancel your plans. I am coming over TONIGHT!
God his brother was so bossy. 
Dean: Sam you should spend time with your kids. Don’t you have them this
weekend?
Sam: I had the kids over last weekend Dean remember? So I am so free and will
be there in another 20 minutes.
Dean groaned. 
Dean: Fine! If you coming over than make sure you bring some burgers. Extra
onions. Oh and don’t forget my pie bitch.
Sam: Roger that…..Jerk!
Dean chuckled, shaking his head. His baby brother always looked out for him.
Always worried. It actually made Dean feel like crap because he was the one who
should be taking care of Sam. His baby brother had been through a lot. A
divorce, a custody battle for his son and daughter. All the while he was an
absent big brother. He was there to comfort Sam but he wasn’t all there, there.
His phone chimed once more breaking him out of his thoughts. He smirked when he
saw it was a picture message from Carla. When he opened the message, the
picture that popped up was a shot of her wet ebony cunt and the caption read so
ready to ride that cock tonight. See you at 12am Dean ;)
Deans member throbbed. God he couldn’t wait for 12am. Maybe a good jerk off
session to this pic was what he needed to relieve himself for the time being.
He checked his watch. He had 15 minutes before Sam arrived. Great. With that he
headed off to the bathroom.
===============================================================================
Dean opened the door to reveal a breathless Sam almost falling over. His
brother uttered, “must you get an apartment that is on the fifth floor and the
only way to reach it is via stairs because of your junk ass elevator?”
Dean rolled his eyes, grabbing the brown paper bags from Sam, “Quit your
bitching Sam. You’re the one who wanted to come. And besides you're just 33
years old, a walk up the stairs shouldn’t kill you”. 
Sam followed Dean into the kitchen, “Well those are some long ass stairs you
got Dean”. He stopped to pat an excited Mumbo on the head. He than placed the
six pack into the fridge.
Dean opened the brown bag, pulling out the burgers and setting them on two
plates. He opened the second bag, anticipating the pie. He scowled when he saw
what he pulled out, aiming a bitch face at his brother. Sam asked, “What?”
“Where’s the pie Sam?”
Sam answered nonchalantly, “You get cake. Its close to pie”.
Dean felt insulted by Sam’s words, “Blasphemy! Cake is not pie Sam! Pie is
heavenly and cake is disgusting”.
“Sorry Dean but that’s all they had”. Sam than grabbed two beers. “Now let’s go
watch the good stuff”. 
Dean grumbled walking over to the rubbish bin and dumping the cake inside. He
than grabbed the two plates of burger and made his way into the living room. 
The brothers were on the third episode when Sam asked, “So how have you been
Dean?”
Dean glanced at his brother who was looking at him with concern. Uh he hated it
when people treated him this way. He didn’t need anyone’s pity. He huffed, “I’m
fine Sam. Now can we watch the movie?”
Suddenly the image froze on the screen. Dean frowned and turned to see his
brother had hit the pause button. “Don’t lie to me Dean. Bobby told me what
happened at work this week”.
Dean grit his teeth, replying, “Sam I said I am fine”.
“You literally picked a fight with one of your workmates Dean. You ended up
getting into a punch up and he ended up in hospital with a busted lip, bruised
face, broken arm and a slightly cracked rib. That’s not fine Dean. You’re damn
lucky the guy didn’t press charges”.
Dean clenched his fists on his lap, seeing his bruised knuckles. He spat out,
“Sam the matter is settled, just let it go”.
“What did he say Dean? What did the guy say to provoke you huh?”
“Nothing Sam! Just drop it okay! Jesus Fuck!” Dean replied harshly.
“No Dean. The Dean I know wouldn’t fight for no reason! What did he say Dean?!”
Dean couldn’t hold it in anymore, snapping out, “He mocked Castiel in front of
me! Said that my boyfriend ran like the bitch he was! That Castiel just used
me!  He doesn’t even know what happened, just hearing rumors and he wants to
talk nasty about Cas in front of me! He knows nothing! NOTHING!” Dean wiped
furiously at his tears. There was always this sharp pain in his chest everytime
he talked about the love of his life.
Sam’s heart hurt for his brother. Seeing him so vulnerable and still hurting.
It was obvious that Dean was still holding on to the memory of the man he
loved. And Sam knew that it was destroying his brother slowly. It has been 21
years. Castiel should just be a part of Deans past. His brother needed to move
forward or life will just pass him by leaving him bitter. He softly spoke,
“Dean you can’t do this to yourself. You need to move on. Castiel may never
come back and that’s a reality you need to face. Dean I can’t watch you hurt
and waste your life away like this”.
Dean shook his head as more tears fell, he croaked, “It’s my fault. I should
have been there to stop that asshole from taking him. I should have been there
Sam”.
Sam pulled his brother to his side, “Dean there was nothing you could have done
to stop Zachariah from taking Cas. He was their custodian and he had every
right to take them with him. Please Dean you need to put this behind you and
move ahead big bro. You need to do this for yourself and if not for yourself
than do it for me and your niece and nephew. For the people who are here and
still love you. Please Dean it hurts us to see you hurting. How long can you go
on like this Dean?”.
Sam’s words resonated in Deans head. His eyes scanned his apartment. It looked
empty, hollow, sad. His eyes landed on a picture hanging on the wall of Castiel
and he in their teen years smiling brightly at the camera. So much in love.
 The withered picture was the only one he had of Castiel. All these years it
served to remind him of his failures and what he had let slip through his
fingers. That’s all his life has been. Maybe it was time for change. Maybe Sam
was right. He slowly got up, walking over to the picture and unhooking it from
the wall. He stared at it with cloudy eyes. It was time to let go. He walked
over to the cabinet and placed the picture out of sight. He turned to his
brother, smiling shakily, “Ok Sam. I'll try but no promises".
Sam smiled as a tear slipped down his cheek. He spoke, “I’ll always be here for
you Dean”.
Dean smiled and sat down on the couch. His brother squeezed his shoulder before
pressing play. They watched for another three hours before Sam headed back
home. 
===============================================================================
Dean cupped the beautiful breasts, thumbing at the dark erect nipples as Carla
rode him hard. He lost himself in her sweet warm depths repeatedly. Heavy
pants, moans and grunts filled the bedroom all the way to completion.
Dean disposed of his condom as Carla threw on her clothes. He slowly put on his
clothes and handed her cash. 
“So when will I see you again?” She ran a hand up his clothed chest.
Dean slowly detached her hand, “I’m afraid that this is the last time Carla. I
cannot do this anymore. It was nice while it lasted and I thank you”.
Carla just nodded, replying with a smile, “Ok Dean. I wish you all the best
than”.
Dean replied, “Thank you Carla”. He gave her one last kiss on the cheek before
he ushered her out.
He lay in bed staring at the ceiling. Sam was right. Castiel may not be coming
back. It was time for him to move on. He picked up his cell. It was 2 am and he
knew it was late but maybe the person he was trying to reach will answer. And
he was right. Within 5 rings a sweet female voice answered.
“Dean?”
“Hey Anna. I’m sorry to disturb your sleep”.
There was some shuffling of papers in the background, Anna answered, “Oh no you
didn’t disturb me Dean. I was up grading papers anyway. Is there something I
can help you with?”
Dean bit his bottom lip. He took a deep breath.This was it. He replied, “I was
wondering if you wanted to have coffee with me tomorrow at a time of your
convenience?”
There was silence for a few seconds before Anna answered in a slightly excited
voice, “Like a coffee date?”
Dean chuckled, “Yes Anna. A coffee date. So um is it a yes or a no?”
“Yes!” She replied immediately. “Is 12pm fine?”
Deans heart beat increased. He smiled, “Yes that’s fine. See you at Jason’s
Coffee House Anna”.
“See you Dean”.
Dean hung up and took a deep breath. Ok he could do this. To new beginnings.
TBC
Chapter End Notes
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End Notes
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