Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/9706118. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Major_Character_Death, Underage Category: F/M Fandom: Harry_Potter_-_J._K._Rowling Relationship: Remus_Lupin/Original_Female_Character(s), Sirius_Black/Marlene_McKinnon, James_Potter/Lily_Evans_Potter Additional Tags: Marauders'_Era, Marauders, Marauderettes, BAMF_Lily_Evans_Potter, Moony Loves Stats: Published: 2017-02-14 Updated: 2017-06-02 Chapters: 3/? Words: 9202 ****** Fighting to Love ****** by ProfEvans Summary The Marauders' seventh year at Hogwarts finds them taking on responsibilities no one ever imagined. Along with growing up as required, they find themselves being thrown into the coming war, as Lily, Hayden and the other Marauderettes find themselves on the receiving end of the death eaters' handiwork on more than one occasion. In the midst of the fight, romance finds a way to flourish among the friends. Notes All cannon characters, situations, and plots from the Harry Potter series belong to J.K. Rowling. I do not write for profit. Major thanks to my beloved Beta: Clearwater508! This would never be possible without you! Finally, please leave feedback! I'm still pretty new at this author gig and love getting comments and critiques! ***** The Way to a New Beginning ***** "Awooooo," Hayden called as she walked into the Head's Dormitory. Ever since second year, that had been her favorite greeting to her best friend, Head Girl, Lily Evans. It's true that Lily hadn't quite figured out how to be herself again, but Hayden decided at the beginning of the school year that the best thing she could do was be normal for her friend. Although, Hayden's version of "normal" really didn't match with most people. Lily was trying, and she was definitely doing better than she had been. Regrouping after the loss of your parents couldn't be easy. Hayden couldn't even imagine losing one of her parents, let alone both at the same time. Death Eaters. The people that were more monster than human. They broke her friend. That's why Hayden was going to be an Auror like her cousins. Death Eaters couldn't be allowed to walk free. They all deserved to be thrown in Azkaban with the dementors. When they were left free, people died. People who didn't deserve it, like Lily's parents. That August, after their perfect summer, Lily's parents were coming to visit Hayden and Lily at Hayden's home for the first time when the Death Eaters had struck. Their train was overtaken by death eaters, all the Muggles aboard found dead other than Lily's parents. Hayden's father, Ignatius, was a member of the exclusive Order of the Phoenix, and was one of the first on the scene when the Dark Mark had been sighted. When he made it back home, Lily and Hayden were crying, waiting to hear of their deaths. The girls were more like sisters than friends since their first year. They spent every holiday together, which meant that the Prewetts and the Evans basically shared their daughters. The Prewetts had custody over the girls for the holidays, and the Evans got them for the first two and a half months of every summer. Hayden was forced home without Lily for the last two weeks of August, but they still met in Diagon Alley to buy school supplies during that time. This year was different. This year, the girls spent the summer with the Prewetts, and the Evans were supposed to get them for the holidays. The girls talked the previous June, and decided that their last summer home from Hogwarts should be simply magical. Plus, as Hayden's family were Pureblooded, it would mean a lot more visits with classmates. They ran into the infamous Marauders more than once, which Lily tolerated only by talking with Lupin. The best part was when they went to visit the Weasleys. Molly was Hayden's cousin, and had married her husband during Hayden’s first year at Hogwarts. Every time they visited the couple, the highlight of the visit was playing with their little boys. Bill was seven, Charlie was five, and little Percy was almost two. They already knew he was going to be annoying; he could barely talk but was fascinated with the oddest and most boring of things. He was simply too good at following the rules. All the boys were little handfuls of sunshine though. But, all good things must come to an end. The last two weeks of August were upon the girls, but they decided to make it as magical as possible. So, the Evans were supposed to come and stay for the next two weeks before they all went to King’s Cross Station together to send them back to Hogwarts for the last time. "Girls, they weren't there," Ignatius said huskily. The two redheads looked at each other with smiles, relieved. They didn't even notice the tears in his eyes. "No, girls, I doubt it means they're alright." "What? But if they weren't there…" Lily responded immediately. Surely if they weren't there it could only mean they had missed their train. "They must have missed their train, right?" Hayden finished for her friend. It was incredible how in sync these girls were. If it hadn't been for the fact he’d been there for the birth of his daughter, Ignatius could have sworn they were twins. "I'm afraid we found their things, but not them. If they weren't there, it means the Death Eaters have them," he informed his daughters, trying not to let the tears fall. The girls needed him to be strong for them. Now, more than ever, since they suddenly had only one set of parents to rely on. Poor Lily; now she really was like his daughter, with no parents to call her own. Their reaction was exactly what he’d been expecting, and fearing. Lily broke down into sobs while Hayden put her arms around her sister-in-spirit, letting tears stream down her face silently. Ignatius fought back his tears once more and cleared his throat. "I'm going to be gone a lot until we find them. The Order, we're looking. If we find them soon enough, they could still be fine," he said brusquely as Hayden nodded and Lily continued shaking and sobbing in her friend's arms. For almost a week, members of the Order searched. Lucretia, Hayden's mother, had taken the girls to Diagon Alley alone for the first time. She owled Sirius, Hayden's favorite cousin, to join them. He helped cheer Hayden up a little, but Lily still only tolerated the Marauder. In all honesty, Sirius Black had no idea how to help. He was the charming one, or so everyone said. Everyone other than Lily Evans, that is. He wasn't the sensitive one. He felt sure he should have brought James and Remus, his two best friends, along to cheer the girls up. The only problem with that was Lily still seemed to hate James. Then again, she hardly liked him any better. The only reason she even pretended to like him was because of Hayden. Ever since they were little, Sirius and Hayden had been close. They both hated all of the Black family get-togethers, but were forced to sit through them anyway. As such, they learned to play pranks to entertain themselves, yet somehow, he always ended up in trouble for them. How could he, of all people, help when both girls were in so much pain though? He figured his best chance was to make stupid little jokes with Hayden, and hope he could get a chuckle out of her. So that's what he did the entire time in Diagon Alley. Even Lily giggled a few times, which is how he earned his invitation to accompany them back to the Prewett Manor. When they arrived, he knew he shouldn't still be there. Ignatius was meeting with Dumbledore. As Sirius turned to leave, Hayden grabbed his hand. They'd always been good at silent communication, so as he looked into her rich, brown eyes, he understood what he had to do. He gave her a hug, and walked to the fireplace, which he used to floo himself home to the Potter Mansion, where he lived with James' family. Lily never even noticed. When her bright, green eyes were met by Dumbledore's piercing, blue ones, she clamped down on Hayden's hand and froze. She knew in that instant that her worrying was over. However, so was her family. Lily felt empty. Hollow. She didn't even hear Dumbledore's explanation of how they found her parents, how they were tortured several times, or how they had finally, mercifully, been killed with the Killing Curse. All she heard was a mumbling buzz that matched the tone of his voice. Hayden, unfortunately, heard it all. Tears once again rolled down her cheeks as she stood silently, waiting for the explanation to be over. When he was done speaking, Dumbledore and her father went into another room to make funeral preparations. When she realized she had lost feeling in the hand that Lily was holding several minutes ago, Hayden turned to her sister, wanting to find a way to help. She tried to free it so she could hug the girl, who didn't have a single tear in her eyes. If James Potter and Sirius Black hadn't arrived by floo at that moment, she never would have gotten free. Instead, the boys helped pry her hand free. Unfortunately, losing her grip on Hayden also seemed to make Lily lose her ability to stand. Lily collapsed forward onto the young man standing there. James caught her in awe; the girl he’d loved for years having just fallen onto him. As he held her, James saw her eyes. They were empty. Those brilliant, green eyes he loved always were full of fire or joy, but now, there was nothing. After she was freed, Hayden turned to her beloved cousin and just stared at him with tears still running down her face. He met her eyes with his swirling gray ones, nodded, and embraced her. She’d never known Sirius to be so serious before, but there never was a very good reason for him to be. Thankfully, now that she needed it, he could actually be a very good shoulder to cry on. Two days later, Dumbledore presided over the funeral for the Evans parents. Hayden let tears fall one last time. The Marauders came and stood in the back. Lily stood shell-shocked once again. Petunia, Lily's older sister, stood next to Lily only out of necessity. The blonde leaned into a whale of a man standing next to her. Finally, around three-quarters through the ceremony, Lily started to cry. She managed to stay silent until it was over. As soon as it was, she looked to her big sister and started to speak, but she was cut off before she even began. "Freak! Stay away from me. You caused this. ALL of it. I never want to see you again. You killed our parents. I won't let you kill me too!" Petunia screeched, before walking away with her human walrus. After those harsh words, Lily began to sob. Always one for the dramatic saves, James was suddenly in front of her. Hayden was pretty sure Lily wasn't aware that it was him, but was still pleased when her sister started crying into his shoulder as he held her. Hayden even began to grin for the first time since Diagon Alley. "I'm sorry for your loss, Hayden," said a male quietly from behind her. It was a warm voice, although a little rough, as though it was used to scream often. Hayden knew and loved that voice. She turned to meet Remus Lupin's green eyes, searching for the golden flecks in them that she loved so much. "You know my parents are still fine, right?" she grinned with a watery chuckle. He gave her a look that was usually reserved for Sirius. "Yes, I do, but I also know how much you loved Lily's parents. And, I don't think she'd hear me at the moment anyway," he replied, with a glance at the other redhead, who was still sobbing into James' shoulder. Although, he’d now sat down and pulled her onto his lap. "You're probably right," Hayden smirked, looking at her friend sitting on her supposed arch-nemesis' lap. She shook her head to clear it of images of a healed Lily, screaming at Hayden for letting her sit in James Potter’s lap, and looked back into Remus' eyes. For some reason, they always reminded her of September. When the leaves were still green, but just a few started turning gold and red. As they stared into each other's eyes for just a few moments, Hayden got butterflies in her stomach. He started leaning toward her and they all took off, flying in circles around her gut. The moment she'd been waiting two years for was finally about to happen…and he hugged her tightly. Disappointed, she hugged him back, taking in his rich scent of parchment and chocolate. ===============================================================================   The rest of August, Hayden was quiet and reserved, trying to be there for Lily. After Lily finished her time fulfilling her Head Girl duties with the prefects, she stormed into their usual compartment, where Hayden had filled Marlene McKinnon and Alice Prewett (yes, ANOTHER cousin) in on their August. Marlene just froze, unsure what was happening. Alice tried to pretend she didn't notice anything. But Hayden had never been good at hiding her emotions and she was shocked to see so much fire in Lily's eyes! They weren't as passionate as she was used to seeing them, but there was so much more there than she'd seen in the past two weeks that she was sure she was imagining it. "WHAT was he THINKING?!" Lily yelled. The other three girls all shared a look, two pairs of blue eyes meeting Hayden's brown ones. Hayden gave them a small shrug and looked back at Lily. "James Potter is the Head Boy. He knows NOTHING about being a Prefect, let alone a Head Boy! He's going to be useless. It's all going to be up to me," continued Lily, no longer yelling, passion in her voice fading. That was the moment that Hayden decided Lily needed everyone to be normal around her, to help coax her back into her own state of normalcy. James Potter was being himself, she was sure, and infuriated Lily, as usual. It worked. Silently reminding herself to thank James later, Hayden grinned at her blue- eyed friends, who were clueless of the epiphany she'd just had and were actually becoming quite worried about Lily's growing lifelessness. The rest of September, Lily was the same. Mostly hollow, mostly vacant eyes, only responding after hearing her name repeatedly. However, occasionally, Hayden or Sirius would make her giggle or James would make her yell. Hayden begged Sirius to make all the Marauders hang out with the girls more often in the second week of lessons to see if it would help. He just smirked at her and said something about her trying to get closer to Moony, which she ignored tactfully. Okay, she’d punched him in the arm and told him to shut up already, but the point was, her plan was working. Having Lily's best friends and worst nightmares combined and surrounding her all the time was fixing her. It was the first weekend of October, and Hayden no longer felt like she was talking to Lily the Inferi. Now, while it still wasn't Lily, she could at least see Lily starting to peek through. The best part wasn't even Hayden's doing. James and Lily were sharing a dormitory. Lily was stuck at all times with the person she found more annoying than any other. Of course, Hayden, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Marlene were around most of the time, often accompanied by Alice, but there were still times when it was just James and Lily. Hayden was hoping that Lily was starting to realize that James wasn't so bad, because if not, Hayden wouldn't be able to spend as much time with the Marauders. Hayden did her best to ignore that possibility as she climbed the stairs to Lily's room. "Awoooooo," she said again, before opening Lily's bedroom door. Lily looked at her with a very small grin. "This month is Halloween," Lily stated simply, before asking a question that was so Lily Evans it made Hayden's heart leap for the return of her friend, and gave her eyes a certain mischievous twinkle that Lily had come to fear. "They're planning something, aren't they?" ***** Howling Secrets ***** Chapter Notes I do not write for profit. All recognizable canon characters, plots, and themes belong to J.K. Rowling. I hope you enjoy this! Also, I'd love feedback and critique! I'm always working to become a better writer, so I'll take all the help I can get!!! Sunday morning, Hayden woke up quite proud of herself. Lily had been herself for a bit without needing prompting. There was definite progress being made, and it was her plan that was doing it. She quickly got dressed in some muggle clothes, including a simple pine green long sleeved shirt, that showed her elegant hourglass figure, and a pair of jeans that she'd had for years. Throwing on her shoes, she ran down the stairs, anxious to get to breakfast. On her way through the common room however, she noticed a new sign up on the notice board. It was the announcement of the first Hogsmeade trip the next weekend. Even more excited, Hayden started skipping to the portrait hole without paying much attention to her surroundings, which is why she managed to skip right into Remus. "Oh crap! I am so sorry!" she said, picking herself up off the floor. She reached her hand out to help the poor soul she had knocked over up, and finally saw who it was. She was suddenly a bright red that matched her hair, as she mumbled, "Oh, Remus. I was just heading to breakfast." The young man chuckled as he accepted her help, trying to ignore her curves. "Did Sirius steal all your food again last night?" "No. Lily's just so much better and then I saw that Hogsmeade is in a week, and I just got super excited and went into my own little world," babbled Hayden, trying to hide her nerves as they walked through the portrait hole. Remus was ever the gentleman, going through first before turning to help her through. She didn't need the help, of course, but if he offered Hayden had never seen a good reason to refuse. Remus had always thought that Hayden was adorable when she was flustered and he couldn't hide his grin. He tried to focus on something else, "Lily's doing better?" "Last night she realized that it's October, the month of Halloween," Remus raised his eyebrows, waiting for the rest of the story, "She just looked at me and said, 'They're planning something, aren't they?'" finished Hayden, doing her best Lily imitation. Remus couldn't help but chuckle. The poor girl had been through so much, he was really glad that she had a friend like Hayden around who knew her well enough to know that something so small meant she was getting better. Lily deserved friends like Hayden. Then again, so did Hayden, Remus mused to himself, remembering back to second year. It was around the same time of the year as now: early October. It was the weekend after the last full moon, and Remus had a number of new scratches on his arms and legs. The last transformation had been a really painful one. Remus was on his way to lunch where he was to meet the rest of the marauders when a flurry of red appeared and shoved him into an empty classroom. He hadn't even gained his bearings when he heard the door slam shut and lock. He looked up toward the door to see Lily Evans and Hayden Prewett chattering at each other. They seemed to be in a heated debate, but were muttering too quietly for him to hear. Suddenly, Hayden rolled her eyes and pranced forward to the desk he was leaning on. Remus looked up into her warm brown eyes cautiously. He was afraid she might know his secret, until he met her eyes. They were so deep and had so much love in them, it was like looking into her heart. All thoughts of anything but Hayden and her eyes drifted away for a few seconds. "Remus Lupin," she started slowly, with Lily at her back, closer to the door in case he decided to try and run. She took a deep breath before continuing, and falling into her nervous babble, "We've noticed that your mom always seems to get worse at the full moon each month and you only go and visit her for one night, but then you usually come back with new cuts and scrapes, like that one that runs up your arm right there. That wasn't there before you went to visit her so either she beats you or you don't really go to see her. So Lily and I have been talking, and last night I decided that we should just ask you if you're a werewolf, cuz we've both done a lot of reading on them and you always seem to look sicker before you go and visit her too, so we think it would probably make sense if you were. And if you are, of course we wouldn't say anything because people can be so mean. I don't see what the big deal would be, I mean it's not like you volunteered for it or anything. But you haven't told us so you must not want people to know if you are, so we won't tell anyone. So are you?" Her eyes had been floating around his while she babbled, first looking just to one side, then to just the other, then to the ceiling, until she had finally asked. After she let the question go, she had no problems meeting his eyes. In fact, Hayden seemed to be searching for his answer in his eyes. Remus was in shock. He met her eyes as she searched his, trying to process everything she had just said. She didn't see what the big deal would be? How? And they were both still in the room with him? And Hayden was looking him in the eyes right now? Remus lost himself in his questions as she waited. Hayden was never known for her patience though, so after maybe five seconds, she spoke again. "I mean, you're not mad are you? I just thought we should talk to you instead of behind your back. If you aren't that's fine. We just…want to know?" Looking into her eyes, which were still as deep and warm and full of love as ever, he took a deep breath and replied evenly, "Yes." "Oh Remus," Lily finally spoke up. She ran over to him and gave him a huge hug while Hayden kept watching his eyes. He was shocked, that was obvious. "You guys don't hate me?" asked Remus, still speaking evenly, but it was a purposeful even now, like if he didn't focus on speaking, nothing would come out at all. His heart stopped as he saw Hayden's eyes fill with anger. It had been too good to be true, of course they hated him. He was a werewolf after all, it was only to be expected. "REMUS JOHN LUPIN! IF YOU EVER SUGGEST WE HATE YOU AGAIN, I WILL DISOWN YOU! DON'T YOU DARE SUGGEST SUCH TERRIBLE THINGS!!!" she yelled. Hayden looked over to Lily and through their form of silent communication, understood that she needed to calm down before continuing, so she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Remus was still standing in shock, staring at the beautiful, young redhead. "Remus, Lily and I could never hate you. It's not your fault that this happened. And if you ever need to talk, we're around." That was all she said before she turned and unlocked the door. Hayden waltzed out of the room as if nothing had happened. Lily was still standing by him though. "You know Remus, you really should wipe that look off your face before lunch or the other marauders will think you're guilty of something," suggested Lily quietly, meeting his eyes with her own shockingly green ones, before she too left the room as though her and her best friend hadn't just found out he was a werewolf. He managed to catch up to Lily and walk to lunch with her, but he couldn't help but smirk at the quiet howl of greeting Hayden gave her as Lily sat down. "Remus?" he heard, snapping out of the memory and shaking his head. "What was that, Hayden? I got lost in my thoughts," explained Remus, as Hayden grinned. She actually loved the way he could get so carried away with things, like thinking or reading, that he could entirely tune the world out. "That's fine. I was just wondering if you thought we could all meet up in Hogsmeade? I'm dragging Lily there whether or not she likes it. It'll be good for her. But, I think it'd be better for her if we ended at the Three Broomsticks all together." That was the closest Hayden had ever managed to get to asking Remus to go to Hogsmeade with her. It wasn't that she was afraid of rejection. It was that she was afraid of making things weird for Sirius. Sirius had a terrible home life, and as she was family, she knew all about it. Hayden would rather have died than have made anything hard for him here where he had a decent family. "Yea, I think so. If Sirius survives the week at least."   "Is James having early morning practices again?" "Yep! And you know how he feels about mornings…" Remus replied good-naturedly. Neither of them were on the quidditch team with James and Sirius, but Marlene was. The funny part was that while their quidditch captain was a morning person, neither Marlene nor Sirius were. They were less inclined to mornings than Hayden was, if that was even possible. Yet, they were the ones who had been stuck with morning quidditch practices for years now. "At least it's morning practices. I know Sirius hates them, but that means that James will have some free time at night, and with McGonagall's exam coming up, I could really use all the help I can get," Hayden said, looking for the bright side in the situation like always. James had been tutoring Hayden in Transfiguration since fifth year. It wasn't that Hayden was bad at it, she just wasn't up to NEWT, or even OWL, standards on her own. But she'd been determined to be an auror for years now, so she had used Sirius to get his best friend to tutor her. Now it was just what they did, and she loved it. She loved getting to learn with a guy that made her laugh and wouldn't tell anyone how bad she was. Hayden loved Sirius, but he wasn't the best secret keeper all the time and she was never quite sure what was safe and what wasn't. They walked the rest of the way to the Great Hall together in a comfortable silence. They arrived at the Gryffindor table to a silent Lily and James. Remus sat next to James as Hayden sat next to Lily. "Hey Potter," said Hayden, using his last name just to make an impression. It worked. He looked at her guiltily, making her wonder what he had done to look so guilty, but not concerning herself with it at that exact moment. "You. Me. Library. Wednesday night. Bring your wand. You game?" James relaxed as he realized she didn't know anything about what had happened in the head dorm that morning. He replied nonchalantly, "Yea, sure thing Prewett." Unfortunately for both James and Lily, his act at nonchalance was not enough to make Hayden forget his guilty look. "So what were you looking all guilty about? See Lily naked or something?" Both of them flushed immediately and Hayden looked from James, to Lily, to Remus who was the only one to meet her eye and they both burst out laughing. "What's so funny, Wildfire?" Sirius asked his cousin as he, Peter, Alice, and Marlene joined the group. "Why don't you ask your Prongsie-poo, Stormy?" she retorted through giggles, using her childhood nickname for him. So he turned to look at James, ignoring her insinuation at a relationship with his best friend…again. "Well, I um, I uh, well Lily was, Lily erm, and I uh, so then she, and I and … yeah," the head boy stated as though it was an actual statement. Sirius merely grinned in glee. If James was this awkward about it, it had to be something good. "TELL ME PRONGSIE-POO! TELL ME, MY LOVE! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAS HAPPENED WHILST I'VE BEEN AWAY!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, causing even Slytherins to look their way. "Black. Shut it. I was getting out of the shower when Potter walked into our bathroom without knocking. I wrapped a towel around me quickly and screamed and he tripped over his own feet as he screamed and ran out. WE haven't spoken since. And I don't expect that to change any time soon," Lily chastised, while still bright red. All five of them froze, in awe of the fire they saw in her eyes again and the harshness in her voice. Then the four who were not present for the shower incident realized what she had said and burst out laughing. Lily was definitely making a comeback. The rest of the day passed with continual amazement for Lily's friends as she was more herself than she had been since August. Even better, she didn't seem to hate James the way she had the previous six years. In truth, during the time where she had been traumatized, she had realized that James actually cared for her. Lily had always assumed it was the chase, or to make her a trophy, or to embarrass the living daylights out of her, so learning that it was none of those things, but actual emotions that had been driving him to annoy her, made a difference. She decided she could give him a chance, after all he and the marauders had been there for her as much as her own friends had been in the past month. *** Wednesday night's tutoring session arrived much sooner than any of them had expected, thanks to Lily's huge step toward recovery. She was still seen gazing off lifelessly more than she had done in the past, but she didn't need a cause to be herself anymore, so it was a win in her friends' minds. The lack of worrying had made the three days fly by, so suddenly Hayden was somehow running late to meet James in the library. He was leaning back in his chair at the desk in their usual alcove when she came flying in, her hair whipping everywhere. "You know you can't get detention for being late to meet me, right Prewett?" James asked with a chuckle. He had never known anyone to be so uptight about being on time while also being so prone to being late to everything. Hayden was huffing for breaths, so she just stuck her tongue out at him, like a petulant child, making him laugh even harder. "Think you would have been on time if you'd been meeting Moony?" Hayden froze, bright red. She was going to kill Sirius. She was going to look him straight in his stormy grey eyes and tell him this was for telling before she did it. He knew this was the biggest secret of her entire life! She only moved again to blink and look at James when he chuckled again. "You aren't as good at hiding things as you think you are," he smirked, with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "You won't tell, will you? I couldn't live with myself if I did anything that would impact the freaky bond that you marauders have. Stormy needs you guys more than he'd ever admit and as much as I like Remus, I couldn't risk getting in the way of you four." James simply rolled his eyes, nodded, and pulled out her Transfiguration textbook, setting it on the desk where she was supposed to sit. Hayden nodded back and sat down, taking out her wand. She was about to start practicing when he caught her eye. "You know you matter to him just as much as us marauders, right? Padfoot, he may have chosen us, but you're the only one he didn't have to choose. You're the only one he thinks will ever fully understand him. Maybe he's right, I don't know. But I do know that he'd want you to take a chance at being happy, even if it could somehow put the marauders at risk of falling apart, which you should know is something that could never happen." Hayden just stared into his hazel eyes as he said it, so simply, as though she should have known all of it all along. She hadn't. So now it was all clicking, even though she put it in the back of her mind so she could practice her wand work. Maybe she could have a chance at a relationship with her favorite werewolf. Maybe it wasn't as big a risk as she always thought. She pushed the wonderful thoughts aside and focused on the instructions to change her eye brow colors. Hayden had to read the page five times to make sure she understood everything she had to do fully. She waved her wand, and froze, staring behind the book shelves James was positioned in front of. He furrowed his eyebrows and turned to see what she was looking at. Regulus was sneaking past the library. It was obvious if you saw him that he was trying to be secretive, as he kept looking all around him trying to make sure the coast was clear. James' first thought was how obvious it was that this boy hadn't been trained by his big brother. Sirius could sneak better than even James could, without tipping off a soul. The trick was to act like you were allowed and knew what you were doing. As James sat and mentally berated the sixth year, Hayden had started moving. There was no way she was going to let her cousin, one of her favorite's on the Black side no less, do something stupid. She was all the way across the library by the time James noticed she had moved. He switched to yelling at himself as he jogged to catch up with her, forgetting their things at the desk. If something happened to Hayden, Padfoot would never forgive him. But if Regulus did something to Hayden? Well, James didn't even know what might happen. He was pretty sure Sirius would have a break down though. Sirius didn't have a good relationship with any of the Black relatives other than the Prewetts, because they were the only family that chose equality over blood status. But James knew he missed his little brother, Regulus. When they were little, back before they understood what their family believed in, the two had been inseparable. As Sirius grew up, he began to believe differently from his parents, while Reg followed their beliefs like he was supposed to. They began to drift apart, and it killed Sirius. Last year, when Sirius decided he was done with his family and moved in with the Potters, he had cried over it to James. He had sobbed about leaving his little brother behind with them and how his little brother was so different from when they were kids. Sirius had also vowed to James that he wasn't going to give up on Reg until he had the dark mark on his arm. Only then would he accept that they had grown up to follow two different paths. When he caught up to Hayden, James had to put his hand on her mouth as he let her know he was there. She was always a jumpy one, and that was the only way he could keep her from alerting Reg to their presence. She glared at him before rolling her eyes and continuing on. Baby Black was leading them to the dungeons. He slipped into one of the empty potions classrooms and they crept to its doorway as silently as they could. They could hear two voices, both of which were very familiar to Hayden, both of which belonged to her cousins. "The Dark Lord has asked me to prove that you aren't a traitor like your brother." "What can I do?" "Find a way to prove that your family doesn't matter to you. He wants you, we all do, to join his ranks, but only if you can be trusted." It was Evan. Evan Rosier. One of the nastiest of Hayden's cousins. Bellatrix was the worst, but Evan was a close second. He was also the main reason Regulus had ever decided to let his brother go. Hayden wasn't positive, but she was pretty sure she had seen a glimpse of his mark over the summer. If he already had one, then he was even more dangerous and insane than she had realized. And now he was trying to convince Reg? Next it would be little Lizzie! Hayden almost giggled at the thought of her youngest cousin with a dark mark, but froze when she heard the next words come from Regulus. "I'll kill him if I must. Whatever I can do to please the Dark Lord will be done." Hayden looked at James, shaking her head in denial while tears filled her eyes. He just looked at her with sad eyes. She knew she was going to lose it and give them away if she stood there a moment longer, so she ran. She ran from her cousins. She ran from James. She ran to the only place she could think of where she could process without answering questions.   ***** A Harsh Awakening ***** Chapter Summary In a trip to Hogwarts, the marauders and marauderettes realize the war is coming for them sooner than they expected, and it's just outside the castle grounds. Violence in the chapter Chapter Notes I write for fun, not for profit. Any and all recognizable themes and characters belong to the lovely Ms. Rowling, not me. I LOVE reviews of all kinds! Con crit is welcome! Just tell me what you think! :D When Sirius found her, Hayden was licking her bowl clean. 'Yep,' he thought to himself, 'Always a sucker for the pudding. Especially chocolate pudding.' And sure enough as she set the bowl down, he saw a spot of chocolate left on her nose. Grinning at her predictability and messiness, he shook his head no to the dozen or so house elves that were fawning over him to try and bring him some food. "Wildfire, really? I know you aren't as brave as me, but running for chocolate?" he teased as he walked over to her. He caught a hint of her death glare, even though she was looking at the floor. He swiped his finger across the tip of her nose, before licking the chocolate pudding off his finger. "Ewwwwww, Stormy!" Hayden giggled. It didn't matter how mad she was, somehow her cousin could always make her laugh. Even so, she wasn't ready to admit anything to him yet. "How'd you find me?" "Prongs told me you had tears in your eyes when you ran off. You're pretty predictable, Wildfire. You always go for chocolate pudding." "Do not." "Fine. You usually go for chocolate pudding, but sometimes you prefer butterscotch." Hayden frowned at the floor. He was her cousin. He wasn't supposed to know her that well. She looked up at him, finally meeting his eyes. Looking into the swirling silver, she saw the hurt that made his eyes seem like it was about to storm in there. The first time he'd looked that way in front of her, his mother had just rewarded Regulus for kicking a muggle child at the playground. She'd walked over to him and gave him her very biggest hug before asking, "So why are you all stormy?" The question had made him laugh, so every time he'd been upset that year, she had called him "Stormy". She may have lost the purpose behind the name, but the name still stuck. And every time his eyes got all cold and stormy, she knew he was hurting. "James told you what we overheard, didn't he?" Hayden asked her cousin, needing to know. He nodded without breaking eye contact with her. "You want some ice cream to clear the clouds away, Stormy?" Sirius nodded like a child and house elves were soon delivering his sundae, which Hayden helped him eat. So much hurt had been caused without a single jinx or curse being cast, it was a wonder Voldemort hadn't won the world over already. No, Hayden corrected herself. He'd never win, because people like Stormy were always there to fight through the pain. =============================================================================== When Saturday morning finally arrived, Hayden was relieved. It had been a long two days and she really needed the day in Hogsmeade to enjoy herself. After her shower, she dressed in some jeans and a Gryffindor t-shirt that was more maroon than the typical, bold red, as that was the only color of red that didn't clash with her hair. Then, she ran down the stairs and skipped through the common room again. "WILDFIRE!!" Sirius screamed from the bottom of the staircase to the boys' dormitory, just before sprinting over to her at the portrait hole and tackling her. "Sirius!" Hayden griped from the floor. "What?" he replied cheerfully as he bounced back to his feet. He offered her a hand and continued speaking before Hayden had a chance to respond. "Wanna go wake up the heads with me?!" She rolled her eyes at her overly enthusiastic cousin at the same time that she nodded and accepted his help. Sirius grinned and linked arms with her, before practically dragging her through the portrait hole. "Really Stormy? You couldn't wait a second to let me exit on my own?" "Nope!" he replied as he began skipping down the corridor to the heads dorm portrait. Hayden was forced to skip along, not that she minded as she had been skipping earlier. Skipping to the heads dorm was still strange for Hayden, as she had never actually realized that it existed before this year. Their very first night back at Hogwarts this year had been very strange. Hayden, Alice, Marlene, and Lily had all gotten up from the Gryffindor table together to walk to the common room when Professor McGonagall had called Lily and James over. The other three shrugged and went on without Lily, figuring it was just head student stuff and they'd be up soon enough. When the three girls got to their dorm room though, Lily's trunk wasn't there. Hayden spent the whole night waiting for Lily to show up in the common room, finally falling asleep on one of the couches in front of the fire around 2 AM. When she got to breakfast the next morning, James explained it all. McGonagall had called them over to discuss head student stuff, but not duties like the girls had assumed. Rather, it was to tell them about their special dorm room and bring them there. It was just like a mini Gryffindor common room when they walked through their portrait hole. There was a red couch facing a fireplace with two plush and super comfortable arm chairs on the sides of the couch. There were two desks in the room, on opposite sides of it, but each in their own mini alcove created by the two staircases. In between the staircases was a bathroom for them to share, and up the stairs were their bedrooms. The walls were a lovely beige color that warmed the room, especially with the red furniture. It still looked that way as the cousins walked through the portrait hole. Hayden started walking toward the staircase on the right, which led to Lily's bedroom, when Sirius started screaming again. "PRONGS!! SUNFLOWER!! WAKE UP!!! IT'S HOGSMEADE DAY!!!!!" They immediately heard grumbling from the right, but only some chuckles from the left. James had already been awake and taken his shower. He had just been putting on his shirt as his best friend started yelling. He walked out to the platform outside his door and grinned down at the cousins. "You know Lily will have your head for waking her up like that," he chuckled. Sirius merely shrugged, until he saw Lily appear at her platform. She was still in her pajamas with a robe thrown on over them and her hair was a mess. It was the glare that made him freeze though. If looks could kill, Sirius would have been killed five times over. "Sirius Black. I should hex you right now," she grumbled, before trudging back into her room to brush her hair and get dressed. Sirius started sniggering, and Lily heard it, so she flicked her wand at him as she turned to close her door and thought, 'Levicorpus'. He screamed as her door shut and she finally let out a grin. When Lily arrived at the bottom of her staircase, someone had let Sirius down already, but he was still glancing at her warily. Hayden saw the grin on Lily's face and knew it was going to be an amazing day. =============================================================================== Hayden was right. It was an amazing day. After breakfast, the eight Gryffindors walked to the village together, joking and laughing the whole way. They agreed to meet at the Three Broomsticks for butterbeer at 3 that afternoon and the boys went wherever they always went while the girls went to Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop. That was the stop for Alice, as she had lost most of her quills already. But, since they were going anyway, Hayden decided she could use some new and fun ink. She and Lily looked over all the choices together and ended up picking out some lovely red and gold metallic inks. Marlene had spent the time looking at the fancy quills, like the eagle and peacock feathers, and daydreaming about which one she would get on the next visit. After Scrivenshaft's, Marlene had dragged her friends into Gladrags Wizardwear. She loved getting dressed up and doing hair and  make-up, while the other girls were less enthusiastic about it. Hayden enjoyed it, but never really went as over the top as Marlene did. Alice merely endured it, but Lily hated it. The only reason Lily tolerated it at all was because Marlene had agreed to go with Lily to study in the library once a month. Unfortunately that meant she still had to endure days like this, when Marlene made her try on ridiculous outfits, just for "fun". "That took forever. I need chocolate to make up for it," Lily grumbled as they left the shop. Marlene had indeed made them each try on at least one ridiculous outfit. Marlene and Hayden had each tried on six, and Alice had been forced into two. Hayden was so happy for all the fun she'd been having, and how normal Lily seemed, that she immediately accepted Lily's idea. "TO HONEYDUKES!" she yelled, mimicking her favorite Black. The girls all giggled as they walked to their favorite sweets shop. Lily picked out three different kinds of fudge, while Hayden bought some sugar quills. Alice bought some salt water taffies to share with everyone later. Marlene eyed the exploding bon bons, but had spent most of her money on clothes and decided she didn't need them. As they left the shop, Alice waved good bye and the girls all told her to have fun with Frank. Alice had been dating Frank Longbottom since fifth year. He was in the year above them, so this year she had been missing him terribly. When she found out about Hogsmeade, she had owled him straight away and they had made a date, starting at 2, so she was off to meet him. While Alice left to meet Frank, Hayden insisted on stopping at Dervish and Banges. It was Sirius' birthday soon, on November 3rd, so she wanted to make sure she got him a good present now just in case she forgot later. Hayden had decided on buying him a sneakoscope, as he had told her that summer that he had problems trusting people. Sirius' entire family was full of dark wizards and witches, and they often lied to each other. Now, he was never sure if the person he was talking to was being honest or not. Hayden figured that while it couldn't tell him about lies, at least a sneakoscope could make him feel better about trusting the people he was around most often. After their quick stop at Dervish and Banges, the girls had finished all of their errands. It was already 2:30, so they decided to just go back to the Three Broomsticks early. They were all chatting and meandering to their favorite bar when Hayden saw Regulus Black and Lizzie Rosier. Regulus was muttering to Lizzie and they seemed to be heading somewhere as if to meet someone. Seeing him whisper into her baby cousin's ear just made Hayden's blood boil. So, she took off after them. Lily and Marlene had no idea what was going on, but knew enough to know better than to let her go alone. "REGULUS ARCTURUS BLACK!!!" Hayden screamed as she approached her cousins. "How DARE you talk about your brother as if he means nothing to you?! Lizzie, walk away from him before he can turn on you too! And yes, Reg, I know what you told Evan. You both can do SO much better than to listen to him and his hatred! I know he's family, but so am I! And so is Sirius!" Hayden had tears in her eyes as she yelled at them, desperately hoping that she could keep them from becoming death eaters like Cole, the oldest of the Rosier siblings. Little Lizzie had always put her big brothers up on pedestals though, so Hayden doubted she could help. And Reg, well he had been following in the Rosier boys' footsteps for a while now, and Hayden doubted anything she had to say would ever change that. "How dare you talk to a Black like that, you filthy blood traitor?!" Bellatrix Black shrieked with a flick of her wrist. Hayden felt as though a sharp razor blade had been slashed across her cheek, before she realized there was liquid rolling down it. Bella had cut her. Hayden was in shock at the sudden violence from a cousin she hadn't even heard apparate in. "He earned it," she snarled. Lily and Marlene, who hadn't heard the death eaters now surrounding them apparate either, shivered at the magic filling the air. They could feel Hayden's warmth and love in it enough to know it was her magic, but mostly felt her anger and hatred. None of them noticed Lizzie and Regulus retreat into the shadows. Hayden swirled on her foot to face her nastiest cousin. "How'd he earn it, brat?! By telling you your parents deserve to die?" Bellatrix taunted, causing Hayden to see red. Hayden cast the first spell of the duel. She shot a stunning spell at her cousin, who easily blocked it, and colors started darting across her vision. Marlene and Lily were at her flanks, with their backs to hers each dueling their own death eater. But as there were four death eaters, and only three Gryffindors, they were quickly overpowered. Lily and Marlene were held frozen under full body binds, while Hayden was splayed on her back in the center of the small circle, having been knocked over by an impediment jinx. "Let's see how the blood traitor likes pain, shall we?" Bellatrix sneered, before casting the cruciatus curse. Hayden felt pain course through her body, as if her veins were on fire. She had never known such pain could exist until that moment as she lay writhing on the ground, screaming. Suddenly it stopped, and she could hear the death eaters cackling at her screams. She turned to see tears falling down Lily's face, before the pain radiated through her again. Lily and Marlene stood and watched their friend writhe and squirm in pain helplessly, as her cousin continuously tortured her. They were both crying, and mentally pleading for it to end, or to find a way to break free of the spells holding them hostage. Lily felt the empty nothingness that had been in her chest for far too long start opening again. Suddenly, Bellatrix was knocked off her feet. She whipped her head around to see Sirius running toward her with his wand out. She looked at her fellow death eaters before turning on the spot and vanishing with a crack. The marauders had come to their rescue. Peter ran for help while the other three ran to the girls. James ran to Lily and caught her in a warm embrace as she fell forward with her sudden freedom. She couldn't help but sob into his shoulder, which he was glad to put to such a use as he stroked her beautiful auburn hair. Sirius glanced to see Remus heading for his cousin before deciding to go to Marlene. He held her as she shook, mentally cursing Bellatrix for causing this to be the first time he held his crush. Sirius blushed faintly as he realized he had just admitted he liked Marlene in a more than friend way to himself, but was thankfully distracted by her snuggling into his chest and clutching the back of his shirt. Remus arrived at Hayden's side to see her still conscious. He searched her eyes for signs that she was broken by the torture, but she seemed to be all there. "Remy, what are you looking for?" she asked softly. He broke down into tears at the sound of her voice. She was okay. Hayden was really there still. And he lunged for the girl, pulling her into a tight embrace. "I was so scared - " he started before being cut off by her scream. As Remus had hugged her, Hayden had felt a shooting pain fly through her torso, before the world went black. Sirius froze at the sound of his cousin's scream, which he had ringing through his ears in any case, and looked to where she and Remus were. When he saw the red seep onto Remus' tan tee-shirt he looked at Marlene, to see her standing upright, waiting for him to let go of her. He tried to say thank you with his eyes before darting to his now unconscious and bleeding cousin. Remus lay her down to see blood on his shirt, Sirius at his side, and Hayden out cold. He looked down to where she was bleeding, and saw a piece of bone poking through her tee shirt. Panic filled him. He had hurt her. He had caused her to pass out. He had made her bleed. She had survived the cruciatus curse only to be brought down by him. "Padfoot, what'd I do? I didn't mean to- I was just hugging her Pads, I swear. And then she screamed. I- She's bleeding. What do we do? How could I have done this?" he moaned. Sirius, however, was oblivious to the words coming from Remus. He took one look at the sickening sight of Hayden's ribcage and cast the hover charm he had once thought useless on her, and started jogging to the castle. Remus stood helplessly frozen, and looked to James, who had walked Lily over to where Remus and now Marlene stood and passed her to Marlene. "Moony, it wasn't you. Bellatrix must have done it. We should go catch up," he stated calmly, looking into Remus' green eyes. It was enough. Remus shook himself out of his panic, and walked after Sirius. James wrapped his arm around Lily's waist and followed, while Marlene quickly caught up to Remus and put her arm through his. They all needed support right now, and she was going to be there for him. Peter arrived at the scene with Madam Rosmerta to see his friends walking away. He shrugged and ran after them while she sent a patronus to the school, so the healer and headmaster would be waiting on the grounds for the marauders.   Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!