Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/13920741.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      GOT7
  Relationship:
      Im_Jaebum_|_JB/Jackson_Wang
  Character:
      Jackson_Wang, Im_Jaebum_|_JB, Park_Jinyoung_|_Jr., Park_Sungjin, Mark
      Tuan, Kim_Wonpil, Kang_Younghyun_|_Young_K
  Additional Tags:
      Canon_Compliant, Underage_Drinking, Underage_Sex
  Series:
      Part 3 of 10_genre_fic_challenge_-_jackbum_edition
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-07-30 Completed: 2018-03-07 Chapters: 3/3 Words: 9032
****** Feelings on sale ******
by hlopushka
Summary
     THIS IS JUST A REPOSTING FROM MY 10 GENRE MEME. I hate double
     postings as much as you do, but I wanted this posted as one fic so
     there.
      
      
     There's a party at Jaebum's dorm, and a cute guy he's never seen
     before is embarrassing to look at on a dance floor.
***** Jaebum's one night stand *****
When Jaebum arrives at the dorm a party is loud with music and laughter and
there are a lot of empty bottles of soju and beer carpeting the floor. It’s
unexpected, and Jaebum was looking forward to spending some time alone after
two whole days with his family (whom he loves but is not used to living with
anymore). But what can you do.
He takes off his shoes and goes to the living room.
Heads turn to greet him, and it looks just like all the trainees around his age
decided to party today in their dorm. Some faces, he notes, he doesn't even
recognise, meaning, maybe, some new guys or people from outside of JYP. Most of
the newcomers are sitting on the floor, drinks in hand, and playing the usual
drinking games. Some are obviously doing some kind of dance off in the corner
to the cheers of a company sitting on a sofa. Jaebum notices Jinyoung and
Sungjin there, so that's where he goes.
"Hyung," Jinyoung salutes him with a cup of beer. "We got Jae hyung get the
drinks," he says and laughs.
"He is so scandalized," adds Sungjin, making some room on the sofa for Jaebum.
"He is still underage in America."
"Mark hyung is rather delighted, I think," Jinyoung says.
"Well, he's underage everywhere," Jaebum chuckles and accepts the beer from
Sungjin.
He takes a mouthful and turns to watch the dancing crowd. Bambam is doing the
routine Jaebum has seen him do a few times, but then a new boy jumps into the
dancing ring, throwing Bambam out of the loop. The new boy starts something
crazy and, eh, is it the macarena? Bambam's face goes from annoyed to that of a
happy puppy within a second, and Mark cracks up in the background.
"Mark, bro!" the new guy shouts in English, barely audible over the song, and
makes an overly sexual thrust into Mark's general direction. It's stupid and
shouldn't really work especially with Jaebum having only a backside view, but
it kind of does.
"Who's that?" Jaebum watches the boy shake it to the music, compensating for
the lack of skill with enthusiasm. He now has his arms around Mark who's just
laughing like he's losing it.
"Huh," Jinyoung smiles. "Apparently Mark has a younger brother he forgot to
mention to all of us".
"They don't really look alike," Jaebum says and Sungjin throws his head back
laughing. Jaebum punches him in the shoulder and drinks more beer, deliberately
turning his head away from the disaster in the dance corner.
Sungjin asks, a little envious, how his weekend went.
"Fine," says Jaebum, not really wanting to talk about it.
And because Jinyoung is too damn perceptive for his own good he asks, "Have you
met with your friends, hyung?"
"Yes," he replies, and he's quite drunk so he adds. "Yenny noona and Jungil are
now dating."
Yenny noona who was his first kiss, and Jungil who was his first everything
else, because that's how his fucking life goes. And, like, okay, there was
never anything between him and Yenny, and he broke things off with Jungil
himself when he moved to Seoul, but still it stings to see people he cares
about moving on with their lives.
Sungjin, who doesn't need to be perceptive because he knows, winces
sympathetically. He is the only one here Jaebum even told about this. And
because he's occasionally kind he says, "Go dance your little heart out, it's
painful to watch the lack of class that's going on here."
"You wouldn’t recognise class even if it kicked you in the ass," Jaebum retorts
but does go up.
Dancing always helps. Because it is the thing Jaebum left everything behind
for, it is what he chose. He moves to the centre of the dancing circle and
effortlessly takes over.
When he emerges it's right to the awed face of the new boy.
"Wow," he says, his brown eyes big and kind of really cute. "B boy king! Wow!"
"Thanks," says Jaebum and starts to walk away, but the guy grabs his hand.
"I'm Jackson," he says. And his voice is nice, deeper than Jaebum expects it to
be. Not at all like Mark's.
He replies, in Korean, not because he's an asshole, but because he isn't
comfortable speaking English, "Nice to meet you, I'm Im Jaebum".
Jackson smiles, "Dance with me".
(Half an hour later, when they are falling into a gloriously empty dorm room,
arms around each other, hands reaching under the clothes to touch bare skin,
Jaebum will think that this isn't the kind of dancing he imagined and will
laugh into Jackson's mouth.)
But now Jaebum says, "You're a terrible dancer".
Jackson looks confused for a second, but then he licks his lips (probably
because they are dry) and says, slowly, even lower (maybe just to make sure
he's understood), "Come on, I really want to dance with you." He even adds a
very polite "please" in Korean. Jaebum laughs despite himself, and Jackson
beams. He tugs Jaebum by his hand back to the dancing crowd, and whatever,
Jaebum just wants to live a little.
Dancing with Jackson is even crazier than watching him. And funnier, too. This
time it's Jaebum who gets random touches, flirty glances and a very close and
personal experience with Jackson's thighs which are apparently rock solid and
just hidden under the disguise of a skinny teenager in oversized jeans. And the
thing is, Jaebum likes it. That, he thinks, is the closest he can get to an
anonymous night out. Sure, Jackson is Mark's brother, but he's just visiting
and he will be out of Jaebum's hair by the end of this night. He will be back
to his house in Los Angeles in a week or two, out of Im Jaebum's life, not
caring about spilling beans and ending his yet nonexistent career of a kpop
star. So that's why when Jackson gets up in Jaebum's space teasing,
challenging, he doesn't back down. He is still mindful of all the people around
but he lets his hand curl around Jackson's hips, lets his body not shy away
when Jackson reaches out, too.
And it's not that Jackson is convenient and Jaebum is envious of his friends,
and that's enough. It's not like that. Jackson is gorgeous, bright eyes and a
wide smile, hands soft and a gut wrenching combination of sure and shy. Jaebum
wants these hands to touch him all over. That's why he tugs Jackson with him,
shouts something about getting water to Jinyoung who is talking to Wonpil now.
He starts kissing Jackson as soon as they leave the room. Jackson makes a
noise, and Jaebum pauses.
"Okay?" he asks, searching Jackson's face for an answer, "Is it fine?"
Jackson's eyes are round and unfocused and he reaches for more kisses.
"Fine, fine," he repeats urgently in Korean and switches back to English,
complaining, "can we not stop?"
And they don't stop for a few (?) minutes, but then someone drops something in
the kitchen, and Jaebum wants to take it somewhere more private. So there they
are, thirty or so minutes later, dancing (Jaebum snickers) in the dark, falling
into an empty dorm room which is not even Jaebum's. They turn on the lights
accidentally, while making out against the wall. Then they turn them off, then
on again, and then Jackson starts laughing again, and Jaebum uses the time to
lock the door.
They keep the lights on.
They take one of the bottom bunks, and Jaebum can't even guess whose bed it is.
Honestly, he doesn't even care. He has Jackson spread out before him, already
topless and holy shit. Jackson is very built. Like, he is not ripped, but he is
very built.
"Do you like it?" Jackson asks in Korean, and Jaebum laughs while tossing off
his own shirt.
"I like it," he confirms joining him on the bed.
Jackson sighs and brings Jaebum's head down to kiss him again. And kissing
Jackson is so nice, he's warm and he's, well, weirdly sweet. The hair at the
back of his neck is short and soft and Jaebum plays with it absentmindedly
while his other hand rests on the plane of Jackson's stomach. He can spend
forever like that, just kissing him lazily, but Jackson, it seems, has other
ideas. He makes them switch places and he sits back, just looking at Jaebum
like he also likes what he sees.
"Do you have a condom?" he asks, and every drop of blood in Jaebum's body heads
south making even his baggy trousers very uncomfortable. And he does have a
condom because they have a very persistent sexual education teacher. He's never
been so grateful for annoying teachers. And then he is very grateful for
Jackson because his wonderful fingers undo a zipper on his jeans, and slide
them and his boxers off his arching dick. Jackson smiles down at the sight of
it, kind of awed and admiring, and if he doesn't touch Jaebum right this very
moment Jaebum will die.
Jaebum is a eighteen year old teenager, okay, anyone touching his dick is a
song worthy moment in his life. Maybe he has a little out of body experience,
maybe he feels so fond of Jackson it wrecks his heart. Whatever, it's totally
not weird. Jackson touch is warm and wet (because he licked his palm, which
looked exactly as hot as it sounds), and soft and, the best part of getting a
handjob from someone who is not you, it's unpredictable. Jaebum is a mess
within seconds. He closes his eyes, his hands are kind of uselessly lying on
the bedsheets, so that's why he doesn't expect a change in pace when Jackson
takes a second to put a condom on him. Jaebum opens his eyes to complain,
maybe, to ask Jackson to continue, and he is greeted by a devastating view of
Jackson taking Jaebum's dick in his mouth.
That's Mark's brother, his brain helpfully supplies him and, honestly, this
looks like the only thing that keeps him from shooting instantly because of all
the heat and, argh, the saliva. Jackson's lips stretched over the head of his
dick is the sexiest thing Jaebum has ever seen, and he wants to see more of his
face, so that's why Jaebum reaches and pushes the bangs off Jackson's eyes.
Jackson looks up and hums around him, and places his tongue to the underside of
Jaebum's dick just so. Is it possible to die of blue balls while being sucked
off? Because Jaebum's a believer. He moves his hand to cup Jackson's face,
caressing his cheek a little, and Jackson leans into the touch, eyes shut into
happy half moons. He looks so cute, and so unbelievably filthy at the same
time, Jaebum might develop a kink.
Jaebum's hips start to shake, and it's hard (ha) not to thrust up in Jackson's
face. One of Jackson's hands leaves the base of Jaebum's dick he was jerking
off (the loss of the touch crushes Jaebum's soul) and curls around Jaebum's hip
to hold him in place. He yelps shuttering the quiet they've kept so far when
Jackson releases his dick with a loud pop. He desperately wants to follow the
heat, hips shaking up, up, up, up, but Jackson's hold is strong.
"My jaw kind of hurts," Jackson says moving his hand up and down on Jaebum's
dick, "And the latex tastes like, well, latex, which is ewww. But safety's
first, you know."
And Jaebum is crestfallen to hear that, but he also never would have thought
about sucking a dick in a condom, so it was Jackson's own idea anyway. He also
would give just about anything in the world for Jackson to finish him off
because he was so close, oh my god.
Jaebum might have a weird expression on his face because Jackson grins and
moves one of Jaebum's hands to his dick. Three hands are more hands than Jaebum
imagined to be necessary on his dick. And sitting there with fingers
intertwining on his extremely erected cock, Jackson smiling so tenderly at him,
Jaebum feels like he's in a porn version of the famous pottery scene from that
Hollywood movie about a ghost. Jaebum starts to laugh, and that's what does him
in. He chokes on his laughter and the world turns blind for a moment, the
endless stretch of their hands simultaneously up and down and up and down.And
then the second is over, and so is Jaebum.
Jackson shuts Jaebum’s shout with a kiss, but Jaebum is too uncoordinated in
that moment to fully participate so they keep breathing into each other and
don't move until the aftershock is gone. When Jaebum is finally back to the
planet Earth he is lying on his back, Jackson is next to him, on his side,
watching him. He watches back for a moment. He notices the rhythmic movements
of Jackson's hand and that's how he realizes (very ashamed of himself) that so
far it was a one dick party and Jackson was basically left to himself, his
jeans undone and his hand stroking efficiently.
"Let me," Jaebum says, moving so he has a better access. Jackson is so caring
and giving, he should be getting a better treatment than that. And when Jaebum
got Jackson lying on his back and he looks so flushed, so delicious, Jaebum
wants to unwrap him like a present. If they had a next time, he thinks while
tugging Jackson's dick out of his boxers, he'd do better. And personally Jaebum
doesn't find dicks to be especially good looking, but this one kind of is? It
looks like Jackson, excited and flushed now, and Jaebum feels his own dick
getting heavier. He has pushed Jackson's hands away so now he's getting
impatient, squirming under Jaebum's gaze. Jaebum grins. He circles the slit
with his thumb, and Jackson shakes like he's being electrocuted. Jaebum starts
the strokes slow and tight, but then he speeds up to meet the little needy hip
thrusts Jackson is making. He smiles wider and adds a twist to his strokes. He
tickles Jackson's balls a little, and with a startled cry Jackson comes. Jaebum
kisses him where his mouth lands and turns his head to kiss Jackson's wonderful
talented lips. Jackson does taste vaguely of latex still, but he also tastes of
Jackson, and Jaebum lazily chases that sweetness with his tongue.
They lie here until the laughter from the living room goes quieter, and they
lock themselves in a bathroom to clean up.
Jackson kisses him when they get out. He says, "I liked it a lot, and this is
weird, but I like you a lot. "
"It's too bad you are just visiting," admits Jaebum.
"Isn't it weird that I am talking in English, and you are in Korean," Jackson
makes a cute face. It is weird, but it doesn't feel uncomfortable, so Jaebum
just laughs at him.
They say goodnight, and Jackson wishes him to sleep well in the politest form
available in Korean.
When Jaebum goes back to his room Sungjin asks him where he was and then looks
at him and says, "You know what, don't tell me".
Jaebum grins in his pillow.
The next day the new trainee Jackson Wang joins Jaebum's dance lessons.
"It was a joke, hyung, I thought you knew," Jinyoung gasps in between the
outbursts of laughter.
***** You get the second free *****
Getting Jackson alone proves to be difficult, and Jaebum spends a good portion
of his day either trying to get away from Jackson or trying to be as close as
possible to make sure he doesn't say anything to anyone. Like, who would bring
up the fact he's slept with another trainee to anyone? But, on the other hand,
who would sleep with another trainee on their second night in the country?
Jaebum is fidgety and distracted and gets scolded a lot that day.
He finally stumbles upon Jackson completely by accident when Jaebum sneaks to
feed a homeless kitten that lives nearby. Jackson is there, crouching next to
an old empty woven basket the cat uses as its home. He just stares at the
kitten like he wants to pet it but is too scared he'll get scratched. The
kitten stares back. Jaebum snorts. Both of them, Jackson and the cat, turn
their heads to him, eerily similar, and Jaebum feels like some of the irritated
protectiveness he’s felt slips away.
"B-boy king," Jackson greets him. He smiles, and Jaebum has to look away, to
look at the cat to stop thinking about last night. The cat looks back,
judgemental as always, and Jaebum feels his ears turning red.
"Hi," he says.
"Is it your cat?" Jackson asks as the cat tentatively approaches Jaebum.
Jaebum sighs.
"It's no one's," he says while opening a packet of cat food he's brought with
him.
Jackson's squeak startles the cat, who pauses then resumes eating.
"So you do speak English," Jackson says excitedly. And you are not Mark's
brother, Jaebum thinks to himself. "Is it a girl? Or a boy? What's the name?"
Jackson asks about the cat, and Jaebum sighs again.
"She's a girl," he answers, "and she doesn't have a name, because she's not
mine."
"You still can call her something," Jackson says. "What are the typical Korean
names for cats?"
He really really can't, Jaebum thinks, but that's not something he can explain
to someone in Korean yet alone English. Instead, he says crouching next to
Jackson and watching the cat eat, "About yesterday".
 
Jackson turns to him even more, his attention now on Jaebum and not the cat,
and Jaebum feels like he's forgotten the words he's so carefully prepared.
"I'm sorry,” he rushes out because it helps to be polite, but what it gets him
is Jackson frowning. "I am very sorry but I have to make sure you don't tell
anyone about yesterday."
Jackson looks at him for a moment, still smiling a little, still frowning a
little, as if his face is confused.
"I wasn't going to," he says in the end, and Jaebum can't help the rush of
relief that floods him.
"Thank you," he smiles at Jackson, but Jackson is watching the kitten now. He's
smiling but for some reason Jaebum feels like Jackson is upset somehow. "I
won't tell, too, don't worry."
"I'm not worried," Jackson smiles at Jaebum a little brighter, and Jaebum feels
better. Crisis averted, no spilled beans. Hopes of kpop future are still to be
had!
"So was yesterday, what is the term," Jackson makes a complicated gesture with
his hands, "was it event goods?"
He says the term in Korean, and Jaebum blinks at him.
"What?" he asks dumbfounded.
"Is it not? In all the shops here? Like limited availability, one time only
thing?"
He means one night stand, Jaebum realises and promptly turns pink.
"No," he squeaks, "it's not what it's called!"
"How is it called then?" Jackson makes an innocent face at Jaebum, and Jaebum
wants to punch him.
"I'm not teaching you that," he says, "go study some proper Korean first!"
Jackson pouts, and Jaebum throws his arm around Jackson's neck and laughs at
his face.
"By the way," Jaebum looks at Jackson curiously, "how old are you?"
 
By the end of the summer he teaches Jackson all the dirty Korean he knows and
Jackson accepts (grudgingly) that Jaebum must be called hyung.
 
The surprising thing is that they actually become friends and how easy it is.
They still have a huge communication gap since Jaebum doesn't like speaking
English, and his understanding is good but maybe not quite enough to make sense
of what Jackson is saying. (Maybe Jackson isn't even making sense though.) But
Jackson learns Korean fast, and even if it's simple and broken he manages to
get his point across somehow. It's also fascinating how he battles the foreign
language, beating it and breaking it to say what he wants to say. And Jackson
wants to say so much, he is loud, and he's full of laughs and jokes that sound
weird in Korean, but Mark says they sound weird in English, too.
Jaebum's not the only one though. Jackson makes nice with a lot of people, he
even gets friendly with Jinyoung who likes approximately three point five
persons in all of the JYP. Jackson's not quite part of Jaebum's gang, but he's
made his own place nonetheless both in Jaebum's life and in the JYP. They get
assignments together, like a dance routine with Mark and Jinyoung, and
sometimes they spend some time together, just the two of them, feeding the cat
or taking their skateboards for a late night stroll in the neighbourhood.
They don't talk about the first night, don't mention it at all like it didn't
happen. And Jaebum is fine with that, glad even to leave it in the past. But
sometimes Jackson makes some gesture while talking or some movement during a
dance practice or even nothing at all and Jaebum's reminded, attacked with a
sudden flashback of want. But it's just his stupid brain being stupid, Jaebum
ignores it and looks away.
 
September brings the new wave of heat to Seoul and the talks about Jaebum's TV
debut in Dream High 2. JYP is basically making it in-house, so a lot of
trainees might be lucky to get a small part. Jaebum on the other hand is being
pushed for one of the main ones. He doesn't know how he feels about that.
They've just finished their dance training, and Jackson drops to the floor like
a sack of potatoes refusing to move. Jaebum who was standing next to him kicks
him gently.
"Get up," he laughs, and Jackson whines about being too tired.
Jinyoung mutters about big dramatic babies, and Jackson throws an arm to
probably flip him off but instead catches Jaebum's right ankle mid-kick. It
tips Jaebum off balance and he has to step in closer to Jackson. Jackson grins
up at him, eyes wide and laughing, his right hand on Jaebum's ankle squeezes a
little. It rests just above the top of Jaebum's sneaker, on the thin patch of
naked skin. Jackson's warm fingers are covering both of the bony bumps on
Jaebum's ankle, and suddenly it's so intimate Jaebum looks up in embarrassment.
"Are you coming or not?" Jinyoung looks amused. He's the last of the trainees
in the room, the rest already left.
"Sure," Jaebum says but makes no move. Jackson's hold is feather light, and yet
it pins Jaebum to the spot. He knows it sounds stupid, but lately his whole
life is stupid, so there.
Jinyoung's lips curl in irritation? Amusement? Who the hell even knows with
Jinyoung.
"Talk to you later," Jinyoung says before leaving. So, maybe, more irritation
after all?
"Bye," Jackson shouts from the floor.
"Bye, Jackson," Jinyoung smiles at him. Amused then?
Jaebum watches him go. The door closes and the world zooms in on Jackson and
Jaebum again.
Jackson is lying with his eyes closed and that's why Jaebum can watch him,
silently. The hand on Jaebum's ankle is centring him, focusing his emotions.
Does nothing to clear up his mind, though. Soon, soon he'll stop feeling weird,
he's sure. But for now he'll just have to endure.
Jackson opens his eyes and Jaebum feels the urge to jump away.
"I'm pretty sure I'm going to be one of the main characters in Dream High 2,"
he blurts out instead.
Jackson's eyes widen.
"That's awesome, man!" he cheers and lets go of Jaebum's leg. He raises his
hand, and Jaebum helps him up and gets a full on monkey hug at the end of the
deal.
"Gross," Jaebum tries to shake Jackson off, "you're smelly."
"Your cheeks are going to be so good for TV," Jackson cups Jaebum's face in his
palms and smiles broadly. "So handsome!"
He's being so incredibly close Jaebum could kiss him. If Jaebum wanted, that
is. If they did that kind of thing.
"You're being embarrassing," he says, and Jackson chuckles.
"You'll break all the hearts," Jackson says letting go and turning away, and
Jaebum inhales. He feels that they are having a moment, but what kind of a
moment he's not sure.
"Wanna get some ramen?" he asks just to say something, and Jackson starts
laughing in earnest to Jaebum's surprise.
"I know that one!" Jackson exclaims and wiggles his eyebrows. "Eat ramen and
chill, hyung?"
"That's not how it goes, and that's not what I've meant!" Jaebum protests, and
Jackson slings an arm around Jaebum's shoulders and throws his head back
laughing as they go to the changing room. And Jaebum can't help smiling at him,
because he's such a dork, and Jaebum does genuinely like him.
 
"This Sunday is Mark's birthday," Jackson says to Jaebum in Family Mart close
to their dorm after they finish their instant ramen. Jackson kept sweating and
drinking water, complaining that Jaebum chose the spicier pack even though he
knew that Jackson couldn't eat spicy food. He demanded they switch cups because
no way in hell Jaebum's ramen was more spicy and then demanded they switch back
when he found out it was. He was adorably blowing at the offending meal as if
it could help with spiciness, muttering "hot, hot" after every mouthful. Jaebum
felt so light he could burst.
"Shall we buy him something?" Jackson looks at a giant croissant the size of
his head on a shelf, and Jaebum snorts.
"Pile in some cash for beer and snacks, and he'll be happy," he shrugs.
"It's too impersonal, hyung!" Jackson picks up a hand cream from a shelf and
starts reading aloud ingredients in Korean like a child who's just learned
hangul. Across from them Jaebum sees the cashier frowning behind the counter at
all the noise Jackson is making, and Jaebum reaches without even thinking for
Jackson's hand and interlocks their fingers.
"Let's go," he says and tugs.
There's something warm and scary in the shy way Jackson looks at their
connected hands for a few long seconds. And it strikes Jaebum that maybe he's
not the only one still being weird. But then Jackson grins at him bright as
usual, and Jaebum isn't sure he didn't imagine the shyness.
"Aww, hyung," Jackson croons, and Jaebum wants to laugh at that, but his throat
suddenly closes up.
"Let's go, Jackson-ah," he says again.
He ends up holding Jackson's hand well until they arrive to the dorm. As they
walk Jackson talks about something exciting that happened to him, and Jaebum
thinks about that moment when he wondered. And he wonders if he weren't alone
in feeling that way would that have changed anything? Would he want it to?
 
Mark is one of the best friends Jaebum has. He's quiet but sneaky, and he looks
like he's always laughing at something. But it also feels like you are in on a
joke so it isn't mean. He's very friendly, if not in the way Jackson is, so
that's why his party is enormous. There are youngsters, like Bambam and
Yugyeom, a lanky newbie that adores dancing. Jaebum's friends are here, too:
Sungjin, Jinyoung, Wonpil and others. All of the foreigners are also present,
Brian and Jae, and Jackson, of course. Jackson who spent all of the night
chatting with the foreign crew. Jaebum hears his laughter even from the other
side of the room over the loud music. Jaebum drinks more of his beer, and can't
help but think of that party back in July.
"You're moody," Jinyoung states watching him over his mobile phone. His eyes
are mocking but not unkind, typical Jinyoung.
"I'm not," Jaebum retorts, and he's not. At least he doesn't think he is. His
eyes turn to Jackson again, and the boy has his arms around Mark and he talks
about something, some kind of a joke, his face lit up and the eyes so huge they
take up almost half of his face. Mark watches him with a fond expression on his
face, and Jaebum wants so much, he almost hates Mark for being the centre of
all that attention.
Jaebum isn't usually that possessive of his friends. He'd go crazy if he were.
But usually he doesn't make friends while kissing in dark rooms and giving each
other handjobs. Usually he doesn't jerk off regularly to the memory of a friend
of his sucking his dick. And well, this time count him guilty. He's so tired of
waiting for this memory to fade, for his relationship with Jackson to go the
normal way. Instead he got Jackson inhaling noodles in a combini, red lips in a
perfect circle, and cheeks hollowed out to suck ramen in. Jaebum got so hard so
fast he had to pretend his ramen was too hot. (It wasn't ramen).
"He's not moody, he's sulking," Sungjin laughs, and Jaebum can't believe he's
betrayed like that.
"Did you and Jackson fight?" Wonpil asks turning to look at Jackson, and great,
now all of his friends are looking at Jackson. Even Sungjin who probably hurts
his neck turning like that.
"Looks like Jackson has a new favourite hyung now," Wonpil jokes.
"Who's this tall kid next to Bambam?" Jinyoung asks.
"Mark probably allows him to drop formalities," Sungjin laughs. "Should have
unlocked it when you had a chance."
"Isn't it Bambam's long lost brother?" Wonpil says, and Jinyoung pinches him in
his side.
Jackson looks at them across the room then, his smile morphing into something
else, kinder, softer when he makes eye contact with Jaebum. He raises his
eyebrows a little, as if asking what's the matter.
Jaebum hides his face in his hands.
 
So turns out Jaebum is in love with Jackson. He'd wonder when it happened if it
weren't painfully clear it happened over time. The initial attraction was
fuelled by their one-night stand and made solid by Jackson's shiny friendly
personality. Maybe it means Jaebum needs to listen to his dick more. It's been
telling him stories about Jackson (in a shocking disclosure) from that
hilarious Macarena dance back in July.
So, Jaebum is in love with Jackson. Knowing it is nice but not especially
helpful, Jaebum finds out. His heart, with its cover blown away, starts telling
its own hopeful fairytales. Like how Jackson's smiles at him must mean
something, and how when they eat out their knees touch under the table not for
the lack of space, and how everything should have a meaning and the meaning
should be that Jaebum is being loved in return.
And his brain, the last guardian of Jaebum's sanity, fails him and tells him,
maybe both your dick and heart are right, pay attention!
And so he wants, hopes and pays attention, the exhausting trilogy of Jaebum's
love.
Jackson's affectionate, he'd routinely make kissy faces at Jaebum, and hug him,
and even bite him on more than one occasion. If it were anyone else Jaebum
probably wouldn't have to wonder if they liked him. (But to be honest Jaebum
doesn't really want to wonder about being in love with someone else. He's in
love with Jackson, and maybe he denied it for some time, but once accepted he
doesn't want to look around.) The only problem is Jackson’s affection is there
for everyone. Give him a tree and he'd flirt with a tree. Maybe, even more
successfully than with some other people since a tree can't walk away, and
Jackson's winning point is persistence. And somehow he doesn't feel the
residual awkwardness after their one night stand the way Jaebum does. Where
Jaebum is painfully aware of Jackson's thigh pressing against his on a sofa,
Jackson might be too busy talking to Jinyoung to notice. Doesn't it mean he's
not affected? Doesn't that mean he doesn't think about that night, that he's
moved on?
 
Two weeks later they are sitting in the same spot eating the same instant
ramen.
("It's so spicy," complains Jackson.
"You've chosen the same one as before," Jaebum says exasperatedly.
"You must have added something else," Jackson finishes his soy milk drink in
one go.
Jaebum rolls his eyes. Jackson narrows his.
"Yours must be less spicy."
Jaebum pushes his cup closer to Jackson as he tries not to laugh.)
"Jinyoung's birthday is on Thursday," Jackson says later, when they are
standing next to a pet food rack. "Dog food for Dog Park?"
Jaebum laughs and says that Jinyoung will kill them for such present.
"Maybe you," dismisses Jackson. "But me and Jinyoung are true friends, the kind
you might have enjoyed if only..."
"We are not unlocking anything," Jaebum says, and Jackson looks like he was
going to retort but something behind Jaebum got his attention. Like he's seen
something upsetting. Jaebum turns to see what it is but there is no one else
here, a sweets aisle, a corner with snacks. Nothing special.
"Let's go home," Jackson says, and when Jaebum turns to him, Jackson looks
quieter, all of his playfulness gone. He almost looks sad, and that throws
Jaebum off.
"Sure," he says trying to decipher what's wrong.
As he follows Jackson out, he throws one last glance at what could have upset
Jackson so much. But it's still the same sweets aisle, chips and nuts, a shelf
of this week event's goods, and cookies.
They don't talk for most of the walk. At a crossroad as they wait for the light
to turn green Jaebum takes Jackson's hand in his, and Jackson smiles at him.
But he still looks shaken, and Jaebum wonders if it's one of mood swings
Jackson is prone to. Jaebum wants to hug him and make it better, whatever it
is.
They cross the road.
"Was it," Jackson says, uncharacteristically quiet, and Jaebum almost misses
it, "was it really that horrible?"
He doesn't look at Jaebum, and that breaks Jaebum's heart most of all.
"What was horrible?" he asks, and Jackson turns his face to Jaebum so fast it
must give him whiplash. He looks at Jaebum for a moment.
"That night," he says, and he sounds so embarrassed, "back in July, at that
party. Event goods night."
"What? No! Why?" it's Jaebum's turn to sound embarrassed. "And I told you not
to call it event goods."
"So it wasn't horrible?" Jackson asks incredulously.
Jaebum's face must be so red right now.
"No!" he insists, and then he stops in his tracks, making Jackson stop too.
Jaebum asks, suddenly petrified, "was it horrible for you?"
"You know it wasn't," Jackson's face turns pinkish, and Jaebum can't help a
sigh of relief.
"But what was wrong then," Jackson looks at their connected hands and
interlaces their fingers. "Why did you act as if it was the biggest mistake of
your life the next day?"
And Jaebum finds out that the only answer he has is "Because you weren't Mark's
brother, and it was a surprise and I don't deal well with surprises."
"That doesn't make sense," Jackson's face is more intrigued than sad now and
Jaebum will count his blessings where he can find them.
So, instead of explaining all of the misunderstandings, he says, "I love you."
"I love you, too," says Jackson without missing a beat, and then he starts
complaining like he does about everything, and Jaebum wants to laugh. "Why do
you look surprised? I literally told you the very first night we've met."
"Exactly," Jaebum rolls his eyes and they start walking again. "We've just met,
how could you say if you liked me or not?"
"Have you even heard about love at first sight?" Jackson bristles as they near
the dormitory. "I loved at first sight you. And here we are now!"
"Here we are indeed," says Jaebum then pushes Jackson into the elevator of the
building. Jackson yelps and hits the wall as the doors close behind them.
Jaebum pushes the top button on a panel, and Jackson chuckles.
"That's very cliché," he says, and Jaebum turns to him, smiling.
"Stop complaining, will you?" Jaebum closes the space between them, and Jackson
grins, all teeth.
"Make me," he stage-whispers, ridiculously hot and dorky at the same time.
Jackson's arms go around Jaebum pulling them together so Jaebum goes a little
cross-eyed from trying to watch Jackson's (uptilted, so cute) face. One of
Jaebum's hands slips under Jackson's shirt, the other - to the back of his
neck. Jaebum runs his fingers through Jackson's hair there, and Jackson moves
even closer. He noses Jaebum like a cat would, and Jaebum can feel Jackson
smiling. Jaebum inhales.
And then he finally kisses him again.
***** Third time's a charm *****
"So it's a lot like 'never have I ever'," says Jackson in a messy Korean, very
tipsy, and Jaebum feels pangs of foolish affection, quite familiar now. "But
you don't say 'never have I ever' and you get less opportunities to drink?"
"When you put it like that," Sungjin looks at his drink thoughtfully, "it does
sound strictly worse."
"It's Korean way and we're in Korea," Brian mumbles into a pillow he's
pretending not to be falling asleep on between Sungjin and Jackson. Jaebum
thinks he would have left already if he weren't so lazy.
"And it makes more sense, we don't have limitless drinks for your barbarian
ways," Jinyoung makes a face at Jackson, and they both start laughing like
hilariously drunk idiots they are. Jaebum is drunk too, but it makes him more
observant instead. He's more of a type to watch. ("You're more of a type to
stare," Jinyoung tells him some time during the night, "creepily." And adds a
very late "hyung", balancing a very fine line between rude and polite as
usual.)
"Anyway," Wonpil raises his voice again, "we take turns saying something, and
if it applies to you, you fail. You get five fails, you count on your fingers
and on the fifth you have to drink, that's the game."
All of them are already very drunk. It's way past midnight. The party is almost
over, the others have left to theirs dorms. So it's now only a handful of them
in a giant flat Jaebum is still not used to call his. And Jinyoung's, whatever.
So because they are drunk, they don't think much.
"I hate tomato juice," Sungjin says, and no one gets a fail. Sungjin shrugs and
gets some chips from a bowl.
"I ate ramen yesterday," Brian kills everyone with this one. Everyone lives on
ramen, it's not a fair play, Jaebum thinks to himself, curling the first finger
on his left hand.
"I hate Jinyoung's hair."
Jaebum thinks about that one for a minute, but doesn't add a finger. Jinyoung
does, and Jaebum smiles a little bit at that.
"I like Jinyoung's ass," Jackson says cutely, an adorable dork. He lifts his
hand and curls his second finger for everyone to see. "Don't lie to
yourselves!"
Sungjin demands to see what's he's agreeing to, and they kick Jinyoung from his
seat to show the goods. He poses for a second and then predictably goes for
Jackson's throat. Jackson starts screaming bloody murder, and Jaebum can't help
laughing. It's a wonder Jackson has managed to stay alive till almost adulthood
considering his commitment to driving everyone mad. Wonpil tries to get
Jinyoung to calm down, but his fake rage is strong so he holds onto Jackson
like a bulldog. In the end he settles on Jackson's lap, and Jackson kisses his
cheek. And, Jaebum thinks, that must be a secret to Jackson’s survival.
Jinyoung makes a face pretending he's not pleased. (He fools no one.)
Sometimes Jaebum is envious of how easily these two can get so close.
"Is it my turn?" he asks, and Sungjin nods. Jaebum doesn't think twice, "I
don't like formalities."
Jackson pushes laughing Jinyoung off his lap while protesting that it's a
targeted assault and shouldn't be allowed. He gets a fail in the end (the only
one who does) and Jinyoung moves back to his seat so Jaebum smiles at his
success.
"Such an ass," Jackson pouts, and Jaebum looks away, still smiling.
"Speaking of ass," Jinyoung smirks in Jaebum's direction, and he feels somewhat
insecure. It's Jinyoung so who knows what's he planning. "Between boobs and ass
I choose boobs."
That's not so bad so Jaebum relaxes back into his seat and entertains the idea
of Jackson with boobs for a hot second but quickly makes peace with the fact
he's probably more into ass.
"What if it's both?" Wonpil asks curiously, and Brian laughs at his earnest
serious face.
"Technically I think it's not a fail then," says Sungjin and curls a finger,
"but personally I believe you should make up your mind."
Wonpil's ears turn a little pink but he keeps it as no-fail.
"Boobs are awesome, man," Jackson has stopped pouting and is now looking at
Jaebum a little dreamily, and Jaebum feels an unexplainable need to cover his
chest. What the fuck is he thinking? Weirdo.
"I like older girls," Sungjin says, and, honestly, who doesn't. Jaebum sees
Jackson shrug and add a finger. Not a surprise, Jackson is a noona/hyung magnet
when he acts all cute and clingy. Anyway, Jaebum is a hyung, too.
"Doesn't everyone just like girls?" Wonpil asks, and Sungjin lifts an eyebrow
at Jaebum, amused.
"Oh, child," Jinyoung says exasperatedly like he's a middle aged woman who's
seen things. Wonpil turns even redder.
"No, I know, come on," he says, "but girls are girls, why wouldn't you like
them even if you don't want to romance them?"
That's a surprisingly good point.
"Because they can be mean," Jinyoung says, "Don't you have a sister? I have
two."
"Mine is nice," Wonpil shrugs, and Jackson laughs loudly at that.
Jaebum is drunk enough to want to just move closer, curl into Jackson's side
and hold his hand until tomorrow. Or maybe longer. Why did they take sits like
that, what was he thinking? It could have been him half asleep on Jackson's
shoulder instead of Brian now.
"Let's call it a night, guys?" he proposes.
"Let's finish the game, first, hyung, we're almost there," Jinyoung points at
Jaebum's own hand with three fingers curled.
That will be no more than two-three questions, shouldn't take long, Jaebum
reasons.
"Okay," he says, "who's next?"
Sungjin elbows Brian awake.
"I have never," he says before he's even properly upright, "I have never put
out on a first date."
Jaebum's eyes go to Jackson almost involuntary. Was that night half a year ago
a date? Does it even count? Jackson doesn't look back at Jaebum, looks at his
half formed fist with only his thumb remaining uncurled. He smiles a little,
and when he looks up at Jaebum, Jaebum looks away.
He smiles, too.
"Are all of you so into casual sex?" Wonpil looks at them, scandalised, when
he's the only one who gets a fail. Jaebum thinks he's finally getting the
handle of the game. "So what else? Have you had..."
"It's I have had," Jinyoung supplies helpfully.
"I have had sex with a foreigner," Wonpil finishes and looks around curiously.
Jaebum, obviously, curls his fourth finger, he hasn't lost yet. Brian does,
too, but he's been asleep for most of the game so he's not counting right.
"Wait," Jackson says looking suddenly very confused, "Is it foreigner to you or
a foreigner to me?"
"Non-korean," Wonpil says, "So all your Chinese sweethearts count."
Jackson nods.
And then Jaebum watches as Jackson doesn't add his thumb to his fist.
Wait, Jaebum thinks.
Wait.
 
He is still thinking about it later after they've successfully sent out
everyone but Jackson back to their own dorm. He is thinking about it when
Jinyoung waggles his eyebrows at them before bidding them goodnight and closing
the door to his room. And he is still thinking about it when they lie down,
Jackson a small spoon in Jaebum's bed. He hugs Jackson closer and kisses his
neck almost absentmindedly just because it's here and Jaebum can. Jackson
squirms in Jaebum's embrace, warm and sleepy and still drunk. Jaebum, on the
other hand, is stone-cold sober, and he thinks over that new information he
never thought or cared to ask.
Jackson is a virgin. Or, technically, was a virgin, Jaebum thinks and feels his
face heat up, before that night back in July. And it doesn't matter much,
Jaebum doesn't think it makes Jackson a better person or a worse person, or
should affect their relationship in any way. Jaebum isn't a type to believe
that it makes his claim on Jackson stronger or whatever the usual belief is.
But it does mean he was operating under the false assumption about Jackson. He
assumed (and the saying is right, the word does have too much ass in it to be
any good) that Jackson was some kind of a player. Jaebum's player, sure,
earnest and in love with Jaebum, but player nonetheless. He did think that
Jackson had a lot of past relationships, social butterfly that he is, and, to
stop making an ass of himself by assuming again, maybe Jackson did, just no
sex.
Maybe looking back at their huge misunderstanding it does make sense that
Jackson was so hurt and awkward in his own way if that night was his first
time.
Jaebum feels like a giant flower has blossomed in his chest, beautiful and
fragile and it hurts, but it’s a good kind of hurt. He rests his forehead at
the back of Jackson’s neck and closes his eyes.
 
Jaebum wakes up to Jackson mouthing at Jaebum's jaw. He smells like mint
toothpaste, and when Jaebum moves to kiss him on the mouth, he tastes like one,
too.
“Good morning,” Jackson says when they stop, or just pause if Jaebum has any
say in it.
“Good morning.” Jaebum smiles at him. “What time is it?”
“It's half past nine,” Jackson moves closer, his head on Jaebum's pillow,
facing him, and Jaebum's hand slides to Jackson's lower back almost without any
conscious thought to press them even closer.
His hand doesn't encounter anything but skin, a lot of it.
Jaebum tentatively moves his hand lower, and, yep, that's Jackson's naked ass.
Jaebum's dick that was steering to wakefulness like it always does when Jaebum
is with Jackson jumps to semi hard in moments.
Jackson, a shameless idiot, presses more into Jaebum's hand.
“You are naked,” Jaebum says slowly because his brain is still half asleep.
“Like God intended,” Jackson grins, “and you would be, too, if you didn't sleep
till noon.”
“It's not even ten,” Jaebum argues.
“Rise and shine,” Jackson says and kisses Jaebum, biting, closing the small
distance between their bodies, grasping Jaebum's right arm, fingers digging
into Jaebum's back through his t-shirt.
Some parts of Jaebum have already risen, thank you very much.
Jaebum pushes Jackson on his back, and the way Jackson's legs naturally part to
make place for Jaebum is overwhelming. It's nice to feel welcome.
Jaebum slowly grinds up into Jackson, sliding his hands up his sides. Jackson
is ticklish, so Jaebum makes sure to tickle him a bit. The muscles flex under
Jaebum's hands, and Jackson tries to push him off and at the same time to keep
him close, and he makes wonderful annoyed noises. They are being quite loud
though. Jaebum would love to listen to Jackson being noisy forever but he still
kisses him quiet.
“You don't want Jinyoung to hear us, do you?” Jaebum whispers breaking up the
kiss. He lingers close kissing Jackson's cheek, a side of his mouth. Jackson's
heart is beating like crazy underneath Jaebum's palm on his chest.
“He's out,” Jackson turns his head a little to catch Jaebum's lips again. He
kisses him, his fingers tangling in Jaebum's hair. It's a long time before they
pause again and Jackson continues, “He said he wouldn't be back until
afternoon.”
The implication settles in. No need to be quiet, huh? Well, that changes
everything, doesn't it? Jaebum isn't sure they've ever had so much free time
alone together without expecting anyone to crush their privacy at any moment.
He is so tired of completely platonic dates and quick handjobs every once in a
while. And the dates are lovely, Jackson’s hands are amazing, don't
misunderstand. He's not complaining, he just wants more.
The urgent desire he feels is so unreasonable Jaebum wants to laugh.
He leaves small kisses along Jackson’s jawline as he moves his hand between
their bodies to take Jackson's fully erected dick in his hand. He forms a fist
around it, and Jackson hisses a little, oversensitive. Interesting.
“Did you jerk off?” Jaebum moves his hand up to the dick’s head, encircling it.
His thumb slides over the slit and Jackson clutches at Jaebum's shoulders so
hard he might leave bruises.
“Well, you were dead to the world and I was bored,” Jackson pants. He shuts his
eyes as Jaebum starts jerking him off slowly. Jackson’s head falls back giving
Jaebum free access to his neck. It would be impolite to refuse such kind
hospitality, right? So Jaebum grins and bites as hard as he can.
Jackson shouts. His body goes rigid for a second, and then he promptly turns
into a puddle. If Jaebum didn't have a first hand insight (real time, too!)
about how hard Jackson is he'd think the other has just orgasmed.
Jaebum licks the bite mark not caring if he leaves a bruise until Jackson (back
from the puddle world) starts urgently tugging at the hem of Jaebum's shirt.
“Off,” he half commands, half whines, “And the pants, too. Come on.”
Together they get Jaebum naked, and when he lies down on top of Jackson, skin
covering skin, legs intertwining with legs, it feels like coming home. Like two
pieces of a puzzle perfectly fitting together.
“Can you stop lazing about and start moving,” Jackson sounds so exasperated,
and Jaebum feels him trying to move a little beneath Jaebum. Jaebum licks his
palm before taking both of their dicks in his hand to smoothen things along.
Jackson's dick twitches in Jaebum's hand, and Jaebum's dick responds in kind,
like they are talking in the language of dicks.
Sending greetings, probably.
Jaebum chuckles at his own ridiculousness and Jackson's eyes narrow.
“What are you laughing at?” he says irritatedly. He hates being left out of a
joke, so he mutters, “you dick.”
Jaebum reaches to kiss Jackson. And Jackson might be annoyed but he loves
kissing, and he opens up to Jaebum's prying tongue like he's been waiting for
this forever. Maybe he feels like he has, he's not the most patient man in the
world.
Jaebum wonders how he fell in love with the most ridiculous person alive, and
how now the smallest stupidest things just make him so unexplainably happy.
Happiness is weird and incomprehensible.
Jackson turns them over so they are on their sides, facing each other, and
their hands join forces in the hard battle for mutual satisfaction. (There are
probably punnier ways to describe joint handjobs and the wonderful stretch of
skin on skin, but Jaebum is too busy being on the verge of coming all over both
of them, don't judge.)
Jackson is exceptionally talented in making Jaebum feel like the world is about
to collapse. His fingers are always too different from Jaebum's own fingers,
always unpredictable, always so knowing of where to push and where to pet to
catch Jaebum off guard making him choke on air. It's like he knows Jaebum's
dick better than Jaebum himself. Jaebum watches, fascinated, as Jackson takes
Jaebum's balls in one of his hands and strokes them tenderly. His other hand is
still moving smoothly on their dicks together with Jaebum's left hand. Jaebum
feels heat intensively pulling up in his belly, and he thinks to shut his eyes
to prolong the build up.
Instead he looks up at Jackson's face. Jackson is also close, or is still too
sensitive after his previous orgasm, and the faces he makes are both hilarious
and endearing.
“I like you so much,” Jaebum says truthfully moving his right hand to Jackson's
nape to pull him closer, to kiss him again. He's not even sure if Jackson can
still understand him, his eyes too unfocused, his breath too uneven as he moves
his whole body in the rhythm of their handjob. He presses more into Jaebum's
hand, meeting his thrusts with his own thrusts. His hand closes more firmly
over their dicks, searching for more friction. And after a few more stokes
Jaebum comes undone.
Jaebum kisses Jackson as the orgasm hits him, and the kiss turns messy,
uncoordinated. Jackson doesn't stop stroking both of them together, though, too
close to the edge himself, and it is immediately too much for Jaebum. It feels
like eternity passes before Jackson comes, too, with a startled cry, their
hands and stomachs are now covered in come.
They are still for a bit after that, and then Jackson nudges Jaebum.
“Let's take a shower,” he says, unsurprisingly.
Jackson loves being crispy clean, but Jaebum loves lying down, so?
“Come on,” Jackson says with a calculating look on his face, and it's never a
good sign, “Get up.”
Jaebum thinks he isn't interested in anything getting up unless that something
is his dick.
He groans embarrassed by the fact Jackson just always does it to him, makes him
into this happy, cheesy person. He tries to turn on the other side, but Jackson
holds his hand (sticky, ewww, they do need to take a shower) and squeezes a
little.
“I'll blow you,” Jackson promises.
“That's a low blow,” Jaebum says after a pause.
Jackson grins.
“Isn't it the point,” he says cheekily, “It's low and it is a blow?”
Jaebum kicks him gently, and Jackson starts laughing like a hyena.
As if you don't blow my mind as it is, Jaebum thinks to himself and finally
gets up.
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