Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/7860253. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Major_Character_Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage Category: M/M, F/M Fandom: Jrock, コドモドラゴン_|_Codomo_Dragon, D-OUT_(Band) Relationship: Kouki_(D-OUT)/Kana_(Codomo_Dragon), Koda_Kumi/Junji_(Kiryu) Character: Kana_(Codomo_Dragon), Chamu_(Codomo_Dragon), Kouki_(D-OUT), Hayato_ (Codomo_Dragon), Hikaru_(D-OUT), Mitsuki_(己龍_|_Kiryuu), Minase_(D-OUT), Junji_(己龍_|_Kiryuu), Hiyori_(己龍_|_Kiryuu), Tomoya_(Royz), Koudai_(Royz), Koda_Kumi, Satou_Atsushi_|_EXILE_ATSUSHI, Hiro_(La'cryma_Christi), Higuchi_Yutaka_(BUCK-TICK) Additional Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega_Dynamics, Alternate_Universe_-_Modern_Setting, Alternate Universe_-_Soulmates, Size_Kink, Knotting, Mating_Cycles/In_Heat, Mating Bites, Implied_Mpreg, Past_Underage_Sex, Past_Character_Death, Past_Abuse Series: Part 1 of The_Sun,_the_Moon,_and_Other_Stars Stats: Published: 2016-08-24 Completed: 2017-02-22 Chapters: 12/12 Words: 58847 ****** Fatima ****** by Selah Summary For a split second, Kana was convinced he had met his soulmate. And then he walked away. What alpha just walks away from an unmated omega? Maybe the perfect one. Notes Yeah, I've descended into A/B/O tropes. Originally started for the size kink square of my Season of Kink card, though it's going to be awhile before the kink comes into it because, well, you'll see.... :p ***** Fascination ***** Kana could feel his heart thumping hard in his chest and cursed under his breath. It was too soon, he wasn't ready, how the hell could he be going into heat already when he should've had another month to go?! “Kana-kun? Are you all right?” “I ... Chamu-kun....” He tried to reassure his friend only to have his knees give out, sending him careening into the beta. And thank god Chamu was beta, his scent a comforting null to his overactive senses. Biting back a whimper, he pressed his face into his friend's chest and took a deep breath. It was useless, he could feel his heat starting, and dammit, it wasn't fair, another whimper escaping him. “Kana-kun! O-oi! What's happened?” Fisting both hands in Chamu's jacket, he took another deep breath, then let himself slide the rest of the way to the ground. There was no sense in trying to deny or hide what was happening, but he still hated that his body was dragging his friend into this. Why couldn't his heat have at least waited for him to be home first? “S-sorry,” he stammered, trying to calm himself with another deep breath. That had been a mistake, the scent of an alpha flooding his awareness. But this wasn't like alphas he had scented in the past, this one smelled different, like the scent went deeper. And suddenly all those ridiculous stories his mother used to tell him about just knowing when you met the one came racing back to him. But surely that couldn't ... then again, his mother was also a beta, so meeting her soulmate couldn't have felt like this. “Sorry, my fault. Kana-kun, right?” Kana looked up at this deep new voice, then kept looking up, his eyes nearly popping out of his head. The alpha offering him a hand up had to be some kind of giant, a golden god of alpha-ness haloed in the mid-afternoon sun. And he smelled like cinnamon and cardamon and well-worn leather and Kana had never been so sure of anything in his life as he was certain, completely positive, that this alpha was destined to be his mate. And then his beautiful angel was laughing, reaching down further and pulling him back up to his feet, and Kana felt completely giddy. This was it, this was the one, it was really happening and he so wasn't prepared! “Um, excuse me, but who the hell are you?” “Ch-chamu-kun!” Kana sputtered, feeling himself go bright red with embarrassment. The strange alpha was still holding his hand while Chamu was not at all subtly trying to pull him away. He appreciated his friend's protective instincts, he did, but it really wasn't necessary. Like he could possibly be in any danger from this radiant alpha! “Oh, are the two of you...?” The alpha trailed off with a slight gesture between them, dropping Kana's hand in the process. Did he think...? Oh god.... oh god, no, he had to put a stop to that line of thinking immediately! “Wh-what? No! No, no, Chamu-kun's just a friend!” he said in a rush, mortified and even a bit terrified that his soulmate would abandon him already. He couldn't let that happen! “In that case, can I interest you in coffee?” “If by coffee you mean going back to your place and fucking like rabbits, then sure!” The second the words hit Kana's ears, both hands flew up over his mouth and he urgently wished he could just die. Chamu's wordless explosion didn't help and neither did the alpha's dumbfounded expression. He just wanted to curl up and die, a feeling that got worse when the blond alpha leaned down again and took a very obvious deep inhale. And yet that smile was so beautiful, brighter than the sun itself, and to have it aimed at him was just ... heaven. “Maybe you should explain to your friend here before he tries to club me like a baby seal and run away with you?” the alpha suggested with a relaxed laugh as he stood back straight again. Kana couldn't help a nervous laugh, rubbing suddenly sweaty palms on his jeans. Right. Chamu had no idea what was going on, he probably thought ... actually, Kana couldn't even begin to guess what his friend was thinking, other than maybe that Kana had lost his mind? Couldn't just let his best friend spoil this fated moment from a misunderstanding! “S-sorry, Chamu-kun, I'm, um, it's my heat,” he confessed, rubbing a cheek in a useless effort to dispel his blushing. “That I'm guessing triggered early because of me,” the alpha added. “I'm Kouki, by the way, Kana-kun's future mate.” “... you're pretty fucking full of yourself, I'll give you that,” Chamu muttered, still giving Kouki disapproving looks and trying to tug Kana away from him. “Chamu-kun!” “Oh come off it, Kana-kun, you don't know anything about this guy! Hell, you didn't even know his name until ten seconds ago!” “That's... that's not the point,” he stammered, glancing between his best friend and his soulmate. This so wasn't the time for this conversation. His heat was starting and if they didn't get off the street soon and do something about his pheromones.... “Look, Chamu-san, I appreciate your concerns, but your friend here is starting his heat and he's not mated yet, so maybe we can take this conversation somewhere safer? If you want somewhere neutral, maybe a hotel somewhere? Unless ... if you don't want me to stay with you through your heat, Kana-kun, that's fine. I know it's my fault, but I won't assume anything, it's completely up to you.” Kana could feel his mouth dropping open at those words. An alpha who was offering to step back? An alpha faced with an omega in heat, a heat he had triggered because they were soulmates, and who was still willing to just walk away if that's what Kana wanted? What, had he dropped into an alternate universe or something?? Kouki leaned down to press a kiss to his forehead, then ruffled his hair and handed him a small card. “Call me, na? Number's good all week. After that, it'll be harder.” A jaunty salute and just like that, Kouki was walking away. Kana felt like he was going to die, like he was watching a piece of his soul leaving him forever. “... that was just weird. Alphas, man. They're all screwed up in the head, you know that? I mean, maybe not every last one of them, Hayato-shi's not like that, but damn if most of them aren't just completely bizarre. And what was that bit about next week it would be harder? What, are we supposed to buy that he's some kind of jet-setting millionaire business genius who travels all over the world or something? Pfft, as if. Come on, Kacchan, there's a pharmacy just up the block from my place, they'll have the stuff to shut your heat down.” The steady flow of words and the tight grip on his elbow were the only things that kept Kana from either chasing after Kouki or collapsing to the ground again in a hopeless heap. How could Kouki just walk away from him like that? What kind of alpha was he that he could just stroll away so easily, just turn his back on his future mate without another thought? Or was it him? Was there something wrong with him that made Kouki not want him? Sure, he was young, only 18 and still in high school, but shouldn't that have been a good thing? He was so confused. “Come on dumbass, that's it, one foot in front of the other. Your heat's not going away on its own, Kacchan, come on, you can do this. Trust me, he was just another stupid knothead, anyway, whatever you think you felt for him, it was just your heat, okay? It wasn't real.” Maybe Chamu was right, maybe his heat coming early was messing with his mind, making him see things that weren't really there. That could happen, right? Meeting your soulmate wasn't the only reason a heat could come early, right? Except that Kouki had seemed pretty sure they were supposed to be mates, too. At least, that's what he had said when he had introduced himself. But then he had just walked away, which made no sense at all. What kind of alpha just walked away from an unmated omega in heat? The more he thought about it, the more the whole thing was just confusing the shit out of him. At least the pharmacist by Chamu's place was a kind elderly omega woman who didn't feel the need to ask uncomfortable questions like why he needed the emergency heat shot, just took them both into the clinic room, administering the shot and then explaining everything Chamu needed to know to take care of him while his body was chemically reset over the next twelve hours. Apparently he passed out in the middle of her explanations because one minute he was feeling a little woozy while sitting on an exam table and the next thing he knew he was snuffling into a pillow and feeling like complete ass. “Chamu-kun! He's awake again!” Kana flinched and pulled himself into a ball on Chamu's bed at the loud intrusion of Hayato's voice. Though that did explain how he had gotten home from the clinic. Sort of. Didn't explain why the pharmacist had allowed it, but at the same time, he wasn't sure it mattered or that he even cared. “Hey Kacchan, Tateyama-san sent us home with some teas and pills and stuff for you, if you think you're ready to take it, though if you want to sleep more right now, instead, that's okay, too. I think,” Chamu said, the bed dipping as he sat. “Hurts, Chamu-kun,” he mumbled. “Yeah, she said you were gonna feel pretty bad for a couple days and I've got a note to take in to the school so you can stay home until Monday. And I called your parents to let them know you were going to stay here for a couple days and they're okay with it. And Hayato-shi already said he'd stay with you tomorrow and Friday while I'm at class.” “Yup. Neesan had to force drop a heat last summer, you'll be fine, I know what to do. And you really should have a cup of that tea before you sleep more.” So many words, Kana felt a little overwhelmed by the sheer volume of them, but Chamu was already ducking back out of the room, probably to go make the tea Hayato wanted him to drink. Their friend Hayato was a year older than them, already out of school, and an alpha that everyone had always thought was a beta because he was so laid back and, well, not a knothead. But Kana could still smell his alphaness and it felt like every breath was tearing at an empty chasm inside him. “Hey now, Kana-kun, it's okay,” Hayato soothed, moving himself to the bed and curling an arm around Kana's shoulders. But that was the last thing he needed right then, a pitiful whine escaping him as the increase in the alpha's scent just made the pain worse. Yet he couldn't pull away, either, clinging to the physical comfort of warm arms wrapped around him. This was not at all how he had intended for today to go, it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all. ~*~*~ It took another day and a half before Kana felt enough like himself to even remember the card Kouki had given him. Hayato was still keeping an eye on him, of course, so he waited for him to go make lunch before digging up his phone case so he could see just what it was the alpha had given him. And he was still sitting in the middle of the floor just staring at the small card when the alpha returned with their lunch. “Kana-kun? What is it, what's wrong??” “I think ... I think I missed it, senpai.” “Missed what?” Hayato asked, nudging a rice bowl of some sort in Kana's direction. “I think I missed my chance. I think I really did meet my soulmate, senpai, and I just let him walk away.” “Ok, now you're just being melodramatic,” the alpha said, laughing. “What's with that card, anyway? Something he give you then?” “You don't understand!” he whined, collapsing back onto the floor with a huff. What was he supposed to even say? It was completely hopeless, his soulmate was someone rich and powerful and probably already on his way back to Tokyo where Kana would never see him again. It was useless, he was doomed. His alpha would forget all about him - if he hadn't already! - and find someone else, someone glamourous and intelligent and beautiful, while he remained stuck in Fukui for the rest of his miserable, loveless life. He would never have a mate or family of his own, he would be an object of ridicule, a warning to other omegas of what happened to –.... Without warning, Hayato yanked the business card out of his hand. Kana needed entirely too many seconds before jerking back upright. “Senpai? What ... what are you doing?” “What you won't, obviously,” the elder said, phone in hand. “Eat your lunch so I can give you your next round of meds.” “S-senpai!” “Eat your food!” the alpha scolded, laughing fondly. “Come on, I worked hard for a whole twenty minutes on that! In Chamu-kun's kitchen! The least you can do is be grateful and eat it!” “That's not ... senpai!” “Eat!” Hayato repeated. “Or you're not getting this back,” he added, waggling the card. Even with as useless as the situation was... Another huff and he picked up his rice bowl, a little surprised to see eel where he had been expecting mushrooms. Eel, grated carrot, shredded nori, sliced mushroom, and stewed leeks, it was enough to make him feel a bit spoiled. Scooting backwards across the floor until he was leaned against Chamu's bed frame, he couldn't help sneaking glances at Hayato. The alpha was doing something with his phone, the business card seemingly forgotten on his tray. Kana could probably grab it back easily enough, but considering he needed to eat anyway, well, it didn't cost him anything to play along with Hayato's game, for now. ~*~*~ The next day was a Saturday and while Hayato had confirmed the night before that Kana was recovered from his dumped heat, he still wasn't feeling like going anywhere or doing anything. And for once, Chamu seemed willing to go along with that, his friend lingering in bed with him all morning. “We should get up, you know,” the beta finally said sometime around noon, though he didn't move or even stop running his fingers through limp black strands. He needed another shower, but that required moving. It could wait. “Don't wanna,” he mumbled. “Yeah, but Hayato-shi's probably gonna be over for lunch soon and he's probably gonna insist we go out somewhere, too.” “Still dun wanna,” Kana huffed, rolling over to glower uselessly at Chamu's ceiling. He was over the worst of the side effects, that much he accepted, but he still felt incredibly crappy and just ... completely unmotivated to go out and be around people. It would inevitably lead to him seeing happy couples and being reminded yet again what a moron he had been to just let Kouki walk out of his life. Considerations that apparently meant nothing to Chamu as his friend slid out of bed and started poking through his closet for clean clothes. Kana rolled over with a groan at the sound of an especially chirpy text tone, pulling Chamu's duvet up over his head. He didn't care, he didn't want to know, he just wanted to sleep forever. “Come on, Kacchan, Hayato-shi says he'll buy lunch if we meet him in half an hour at that yakitori spot by our school.” “Half an hour? I can't get ready and get there in that little time! I haven't even showered!” “Yeah, I just told him there was no way we could meet that, but come on, I'll wash your back and we can save a little time?” Kana still didn't want to do it. And then Chamu was tugging the blankets off the bed. “Come on, Kacchan, all the chicken you can eat awaits.” “I don't care,” he huffed, curling in on himself. “Mou, Kacchan, come on, don't be like this. I know you think that guy was your soulmate, but I'm not buying it. And, well, if he really is your soulmate, then this sulking is ridiculous cuz what knotheaded alpha is going to just let his soulmate get away from him, right?” “That's ... that's not....” “Oh of course it is. If a guy like that actually thinks you're his? With you being omega? Then you're a piece of property to him and like hell he'd just let you get away. If he's really your soulmate at all and I'm not saying he is.” “... you're so... how are we even friends, Chamu-kun?” he asked, rolling over to frown up at the beta. “Because I've known you since we were in preschool. Tell me I'm wrong, Kacchan, tell me most male alphas that age aren't sex-obsessed dickheads until they get mated and finally mature into normal adults.” Kana wanted to argue, but other than Hayato, most of his experiences with male alphas ran along those same lines. That was why alphas were sent to their own boarding schools for junior high, most (if not all) of high school, and sometimes even college. He and Chamu went to a mixed high school of a couple hundred students, mostly betas, from all over the prefecture, and yet he didn't think he had scented more than a dozen alphas amongst his fellow students. All but one of them, a first year named Teika, were girls, though Kana didn't know why primary gender made such a difference; he never had been good at paying attention in health class. Whatever the reason, it was just accepted as obvious truth: female alphas were (generally) rational, mature women by high school age while male alphas tended towards being reckless knotheads until mated or thirty, whichever came first. And since Kouki couldn't be more than mid- twenties.... Come to think of it, Teika was pretty cute. They hadn't interacted much, since they didn't really have much in common, but Kana had spotted him on the bleachers at basketball games a few times. Hard not to notice the quiet alpha with vivid purple chunks in his hair and the disappearing-reappearing lip ring. Was Teika dating someone on the basketball team? Maybe he would try talking to him next week, see if the pretty alpha was even interested in boys at all. Knowing Kana's luck, probably not, but it wouldn't hurt to ask, right? There had to be some reason Teika kept showing up at games, especially since he didn't really look that much like the sports-loving type. Then again, his mother always said appearances could be deceiving; maybe Teika really did just love basketball? He was definitely going to have to find out the truth come Monday. “Hey-yo, earth to Kacchan~!” To his consternation and embarrassment, Kana was completely surprised, even a bit shocked, to find he had not only gotten out of bed, but apparently showered and even dressed himself completely on autopilot. And then almost walked out the door in house slippers. “I'd say we ought to stop someplace for coffee first, as much as you're acting like a zombie, but senpai says he's a little pressed for time, so ... try not to fall on your face between here and school?” “Chamu-kun's such an ass,” he muttered as he stepped into his shoes. “If senpai's in such a rush, how's he going to buy me unlimited chicken?” “I'm sure he's got a plan, come on, I'm starving!” Typical Chamu - mention food and any other thoughts went right out of his head. Especially when it was food someone else was buying. Kana huffed and bundled into his favorite hoodie, grateful that the weather hadn't gone to completely miserable; autumn weather could be all over the place, but it was still better than winter snow. The izakaya Hayato had picked was a favorite of theirs, barely big enough to hold fifteen customers. Kana had always thought that the size, generous by some measures really, made it feel cozy rather than cramped. Until he walked in to see Hayato casually chatting with Kouki at the end of the bar, the two sharing sake and laughing over the gods alone knew what. More than anything he wanted to think it was some sort of massive coincidence, but it didn't fit what his eyes were telling him, not with the way Hayato was leaning against the wall a bit to face Kouki more properly. Or the way Kouki was sitting in the very next seat with no indications at all that Hayato was supposed to be saving seats for them, not chatting it up with some random businessman who just happened to be in the same izakaya. The scene was enough to make his heart stop and his stomach drop. And then twitch on the floor at his feet when the two alphas, as if scenting him together, turned their attention towards him and grinned. “There's our boys~” Hayato chirped, beckoning them over. “Told you, free food will get Chamu-kun to do pretty much anything, even if it seems impossible at first. Like getting Kacchan out of bed on a weekend.” Kouki laughed and all Kana wanted to do was bolt. This was worse than being caught going into an early heat, this was completely ... humiliating. How could Hayato, who had so obviously planned this little setup, be so cruel? Especially after what he knew Kana had just been through? He was already turned around and reaching for the door, ignoring Chamu's squawk of protest at being pushed aside so easily, when a hand landed on his shoulder, followed by the scent of cinnamon and coffee and alpha. Even with his heat behind him, Kana couldn't stop a shudder from going through him, though Kouki's hand only gave his shoulder a brief squeeze before letting go of him again. “Not telling you in advance was my idea, don't blame Hayato-kun,” the alpha said with surprising gentleness and dammit, when had he even turned around that he could see that seemingly shy smile on the taller man's face? Maybe ... maybe this was all just a weird dream? Maybe he was still in Chamu's bed, though he wasn't sure why he would be imagining something like this. And then Chamu punched his shoulder, hard, and wow that had actually hurt, okay, maybe this wasn't all just some crazy post-heat dump dream after all. Except that meant this was real, that Kouki really was standing in front of him looking for all the world like some overgrown hopeful puppy and that was just ... insane. Alphas could be a lot of things, but mooning puppies wasn't on the list. Or at least it wasn't supposed to be on the list, not from everything Kana had ever seen or been told. Cocky, brash, horny, arrogant, insufferable, those were on the list. Making pleading eyes at shy little teenaged omegas? Not on the list. Absolutely, utterly, entirely, and completely inconceivable. And yet.... “At least let me buy you lunch? You came all this way...” “It wasn't –.” “We don't want anything from you.” “Chamu-kun!” Kana protested, swatting his friend. There was being protective and then there was being ridiculous, and his best friend was currently charging headlong into the latter. Just because he was an omega, it didn't mean he couldn't stand up for himself, dammit. Chamu of all people should have known that. “I don't know what I've done to offend you, Chamu-san....” “Whatever game you think you're playing, we don't need anything to do with it. Kacchan doesn't need you,” Chamu insisted, tugging at Kana's sleeve again. “Come on, Kacchan, we'll go someplace else.” The frown on Kouki's face was a bit intimidating, but there wasn't anything mean or cruel in it. More like ... like gentle confusion, an honest inability to understand. Kana couldn't even blame him; he had known Chamu most of his life and he couldn't understand the beta right now either. “I thought you said you were just friends?” “We are just friends,” Kana huffed, tugging his sleeve free from Chamu and then, since it seemed the only way to prove Chamu didn't speak for him, pushing past Kouki to take his seat at the bar. The patient, almost paternal smile Hayato was wearing made him want to punch him in the gut, but he resisted. Instead he ordered himself a pot of tea and skewers of thigh, breast, meatball, skin, and mushrooms. Chamu could either sit down or not, he didn't care, he had been promised food and he wasn't going to let Hayato wiggle out of it so easily. A hand landed on his shoulder and he shrugged it off. Then it rested on his back, Kouki stepping up close behind him, close enough for his scent to reach him even in spite of the sizzling meat cooking on just the other side of the bar. “Ito-san, we'll be at table three, all right? And add some butabara and asuparabekon, tare, please.” A part of Kana wanted to object to the way Kouki thought he could just decide something like this. At the same time, he kind of liked it. Not just the idea of Kouki taking charge, but his wanting to try to make things work, even though they were from such different worlds. Halfway through his last year of high school and Kana still had no idea what he was doing with his life. He knew his parents wanted him to go to college, make something of himself, but the thought of going straight into yet more school made him queasy, so he tried to avoid the subject whenever possible. Although ... now that Kouki was part of the equation of his future.... “So, um, I thought maybe I should start with an apology,” Kouki said as they settled across from each other at the small table, brushing his hair away from his face in an absentminded sort of gesture. “Not that I had any way of knowing I was going to meet my soulmate on this trip, of course, but still. I'm sorry for causing you such trouble.” “I ... like you said, you couldn't have known,” Kana said, ducking his head at the feel of heat rushing into his cheeks yet again, uselessly trying to hide behind his own hair. The arrival of their order saved him from having to think of anything more to say, at least for the moment. Picking up the skewer of breast meat, he bit into the first chunk and almost moaned aloud as the flavors burst onto his tongue. And then blushed again, once more trying to hide behind black strands. Really, Kouki was going to think he hadn't eaten real food in days or something if he got too carried away. He could feel the blond alpha watching him and told himself to eat calmly, not to wolf it all down no matter how delicious it was, but it was hard. “Not sure if that's a testament to how well Ito-san prepared the chicken or an indication that Hayato-kun isn't nearly as good of a cook as he claimed,” the blond said after a moment, grinning widely. If it was possible, Kana felt certain he had to be blushing even harder now. Taking a deep breath to try to calm himself, he set down the skewer and then tucked long fringe back behind an ear. Really, he should have done something more with his hair, but since he hadn't been expecting to meet with anyone but Hayato-shi, it had felt like unnecessary effort. “N-no, he's good, he's really good, actually, when he wants to be, I just... haven't eaten since last night? And, um, I think Ito-san has the best yakitori in the whole city, so, um....” He really did suck at small talk and it was so unfair. This was his soulmate, right? Shouldn't that have made it easier? And yet no matter what, his brain just couldn't seem to come up with the right things to say. “What makes it the best, in your opinion?” Kouki asked, a look of genuine curiosity and interest appearing on his face. Right, of course, Kouki wasn't from Fukui, he probably hadn't even known this izakaya existed until Hayato suggested it to him. Someone at his level of success probably didn't even eat at places like this without a client insisting first. “Oh, well, um, Hayato-senpai could probably explain it better, but it just ... I dunno, is,” he said with a nervous chuckle. “I mean it's probably the same chickens as anyplace else, so I guess it's something in the sauce? And maybe the charcoal? I know Ito-san uses real wood charcoal, so the flavor it gives is different, you know?” Oh god, he was babbling like an idiot and was he even making any sense at all?? And yet instead of chastising him or calling him stupid or silly, Kouki just sat there listening with that same curious smile. Like he actually cared about what was in Kana's head, which was kind of a wild thought because since when did knotheaded alphas give two shits about what an omega, any omega, even their own mated omega, thought? ... okay, that was probably going a bit far with the stereotyping, but still. To have someone like Kouki, someone rich and powerful and beautiful beyond reason, listening to him as if he actually mattered was just.... Kana could barely even comprehend it. “Hayato-kun mentioned you and Chamu-kun attend the high school near here, is that how you found this place?” “Yeah,” he said, nodding and then pausing to take another bite of chicken. “Weekday mornings, Ito-kaasan has bento for sale to students only, we've been buying lunches here at least once a week since we were first years.” “Smart woman,” Kouki said with a nod. “And I think you may be right about the sauce.” Such a little thing, but it made Kana feel so ridiculously happy to hear Kouki agreed with him about something. Funny how something so small could mean everything. Kana didn't want lunch to end, even though he felt like an awkward cucumber as often as not, trying to make conversation. Yet somehow Kouki was able to keep things rolling along, even with the less than subtle disgruntled noises coming from Chamu at the bar, until Kana really could say he had eaten all the chicken he could manage. “I'm really glad you stayed for lunch,” Kouki said quietly as he walked Kana out of the small izakaya and into the autumn sun. “I'm guessing a weekend trip to Tokyo is out of the question with your schedule right now, so I'll see if I can't arrange something for myself for next month. Until then, we can chat online, ne? And you can call me any time, for any reason. Don't worry about being a bother, okay? If I'm too busy right then, I won't answer, so just leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can, okay?” Kana was almost positive he had to be beet red right at that moment. He certainly didn't know what to say to those words, which made him feel even more like an idiot. And then Kouki was hugging him and while it was, on the surface, a completely platonic embrace, there was something so ... comforting in it that made Kana want to cling to him forever. “I've got a train to catch, sweetheart,” Kouki whispered and Kana's heart clenched at that one little term of endearment, grateful that the alpha had thought to keep his voice down enough not to be overheard. “I'll call you when I get back to Tokyo, okay?” ”O-okay,” Kana stumbled, letting himself cling just a few beats more before forcing himself to step back. “A-and I... I'll try to get Chamu-kun's head fixed so next time it doesn't have to be like this.” “I'd like that,” Kouki said, that warm smile of his spreading across his face. The alpha leaned in to brush a quick kiss to his forehead and that silly giddy feeling swept through Kana yet again. If this was what being with one's soulmate was like, he would happily take it for the rest of his life. “Hayato-kun, thanks again for the lunch invite. Chamu-san, I'm counting on you, please look after this one for me, ne?” Kana couldn't decide if he wanted to hit Kouki or kiss him, instead doing neither, just standing there like a statue as he watched the alpha walk away again. But unlike last time, he didn't feel like his whole life was falling apart. This time he knew without a doubt he would be seeing Kouki again. ***** Foundation ***** October came and went without Kouki being able to get away for even just a weekend, much to Kana's frustration. When Kouki had told him on Skype that he wouldn't be able to come back to Fukui until mid-November, Kana had pouted prodigiously and demanded to know how that was possible, seeing as Kouki was the top executive in his company. Kouki had laughed that way he did and called him sweet for thinking he had ultimate power like that. And then offered to buy him a train ticket so he could come visit Tokyo for a weekend. As much as Kana had wanted to accept, in the end he had been forced to decline, all too aware of how his parents would react if he were to even suggest he was thinking of taking such a trip by himself. Especially when he hadn't even told them yet who Kouki was or anything about him. Kana might have been old enough in the eyes of the law, but he knew better than to risk his parents' wrath by leaving the prefecture without telling them everything about it first. Staring up at his bedroom ceiling, waiting for Kouki's call, he still didn't really understand it. His future mate was the CEO of the Matsumoto Group, some sort of business genius who had, according to Hayato, created quite the stir with his promotion over the heads of a number of other executives who had been with the company far longer. Hayato had tried to explain to him the scandals and controversies around Kouki's first two years as CEO, but he had lost interest, all but tuning out his friend's explanations. Corporate intrigue was not one of his areas of interest and he just didn't get why Kouki's being an unmated alpha under the age of forty should have mattered in the least. As long as he was good at his job - and by all accounts, Kouki was very good at it - shouldn't that be all that mattered? “Hey baby, want the good news or the bad news first?” “I hate it when you start conversations like this, you know,” Kana said with a huff. “What's the bad news?” “My car's started making an odd knocking noise, so I can't drive it down to see you until that's been fixed. Sorry.” “So I guess the good news is you aren't coming down for another six weeks anyway so it isn't going to matter?” the omega grumbled, sitting up and scowling at his wall. Sometimes he really hated Kouki's sense of humor. Because nothing about that was good news. “No, actually, the good news is we had to cancel an event for this weekend and I thought before I left Nagoya I should call to find out if you wanted to meet at your place or somewhere in town.” “Wait, you're coming here?!” Kana squeaked, immediately feeling embarrassed for the way his voice cracked in excitement. “Yup, hotel reservation for the weekend and everything. Not that I'm expecting you to keep me entertained the whole time, but hopefully you can squeeze in a little time for me in that busy social life of yours~” “Are you fucking kidding me? Of course I'll spend the weekend with you!” “Kana-kun! Language!” Kana almost jumped out of his own skin, spinning around in surprise at his mother's intrusion on his privacy. Oh right, laundry. Something he probably should have helped her with himself instead of hiding in his room like a spoiled brat. Whoops. “Is that Chamu-kun? You know your father and I would appreciate it if you would at least ask us before you promise him these things, dear.” Crap. He hadn't even told his parents yet that he was ... well, he wasn't even sure what to say about his ... was it even a relationship? It seemed strange to think of calling Kouki a friend, especially with Kouki being so much older than him. And he definitely couldn't say they were dating when they had only had the one actual lunch together. Although they talked as much on Skype and through texting as Chamu ever did with his string of girlfriends, so maybe? And really, what else could he say about the person he was wanting to spend the weekend with? In a hotel. Without letting his parents meet Kouki first. Ok, maybe that wasn't going to work. But what else could he say? There was no way Chamu was going to cover for him and if he got caught lying about what he was doing, his mom would kill him. “Um, I better call you back, okay? That's my mom.” “I'll be driving, so if it's urgent, let it ring twice then drop it so I know it's important and can pull over and call you right back, okay?” “Huh? Wait, I thought ... um, ok, you can explain that later, too. Brat. Um, drive safe. Bye.” It felt ... strange to hang up on Kouki without any of the usual endearments, but he knew that definitely wasn't how he wanted to start this conversation with his mother. It was already going to be hard enough, considering the look she was giving him, arms crossed over her chest. Yeah, that was bad. “Driving, hmm?” she said as soon as he set down his phone. “So obviously not Chamu-kun or Hayato-kun, so who was that then?” “Um, well, you remember when I spent those few days with Chamu-kun in September?” “Of course,” she said, uncrossing her arms and moving to sit beside him on his bed. “And I remember being annoyed with you for not even asking yourself, until Chamu-kun admitted he'd needed to take you to a pharmacist to dump a surprise early heat. I take it this means you're about to tell me it wasn't just puberty messing with you.” Kana gaped at his mother for a long moment, just trying to process what she was saying to him, until his brain kicked him in the ass again, reminding him that he was supposed to be talking, not sitting there impersonating a fish. “How ... I mean ... y-yeah,” he stammered. “Kana-kun, I'm your mother, you don't have to hide your soulmate from me,” she said, briefly squeezing his hand. “I ... I know you believe that, Mom,” he stumbled, rubbing at the back of his neck as he tried to find the right words. “And I mean at first I wasn't even all that sure it was really happening, you know? Like everyone always says you'll just know, but they don't really talk about how, you know? And it was just such a ... such a weird encounter....” Kana trailed off with a sigh, feeling rather a lot like he had no idea what he was even trying to say anymore. “That's fair, sweetheart, but it sounds like you've settled the matter so why have you been keeping it to yourself?” “B-because my alpha's over thirty and male and I didn't know how you and Dad would react. I mean if you and Dad got angry about Kouki being my soulmate then ... then I don't know what I'd do,” he confessed in a rush. “He's just... he's so ... he's so right for me and it's already hard enough with Chamu-kun hating him and him living in Tokyo and to think if we hadn't happened to take that shortcut that day I don't know when or even if I ever would have met him and thinking that just scares me so much. And I don't care that Chamu-kun thinks it's just my omega hormones being stupid, I really am falling for him so much. Ok, I care, it kills me that Hayato-senpai is the only one supporting me and that's why I couldn't tell you and risk losing your love, too, and I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry.” When Kana was finally able to get the words to stop, he bit his lip and fisted his hands in his pants, telling himself he was ready for the worst. It wasn't true, but maybe if he told himself that it was.... “Oh honey,” his mother said and he didn't even dare try to guess what that tone meant. And then she was hugging him and that was pretty much the last thing he had been expecting. “Sweetheart, the only thing I care about is does he make you happy?” “Yes,” Kana replied without hesitation. “Th-that was him just now. He's... he's driving down from Tokyo to spend the weekend, just because he suddenly had it free and we... we haven't been able to physically see each other since that first weekend and he wanted to surprise me.” “Then you better call him back right now and let him know I insist he stay here with us. He can even stay here in your room, as long as you promise me you two will behave properly.” “Mom!” “I know, I know, you're old enough to make that decision for yourself, sweetie, I know, but I'm still your mother and you're always going to be my baby, so just....” “Not in the house,” he said with a little nod, smiling for her. It was fine with him, he wasn't even sure if he was ready to take that step yet. They hadn't even kissed yet! And without the pressure from his heat, Kana was content to take things slow. He was pretty sure he was falling in love with Kouki but he wasn't afraid to admit he kind of liked the thought of a lingering seduction like in the movies and books. Courting might have fallen out of common favor, but he was enough of a hopeless romantic at heart that Kana kind of liked the idea of Kouki courting him. “Um, he was still in Nagoya just now, it's going to be another couple hours before he can get here, are you su–.” “You are not spending a whole weekend with your soulmate without letting me meet him first, young man!” his mother interrupted, standing up abruptly, the better to glower down at him. “If he doesn't make it in time for dinner, I'll save him back a bento and he can eat when he gets here. Your father and I are going to want to ask him questions anyway.” Kana tried to cover his wince, though it didn't take much for him to figure out that he hadn't succeeded. And yet all his mother did was make a disapproving noise at him before leaving the room. Telling himself that it could have gone a lot worse didn't really make him feel any better as he called Kouki. Funny how just fifteen minutes could drain all the excitement out of him and turn it into a lump of dread instead. Hopefully when Kouki called him back his soulmate would be able to make everything better again. ~*~*~ Sitting next to his alpha, listening to his parents grill Kouki on everything from his family history to just what his interest and intentions were with their precious son, had to have been the most awkward thing of Kana's life. And yet Kouki had taken everything in stride, offering thoughtful answers. More than once, Kana felt himself struggling not to either melt into a blushing puddle or outright gape at his alpha at some of his answers. Like his firm conviction that Kana should finish high school and even pursue college. Or his insistence that they wait a few years before even just seriously talking about having children. Or the promise that, regardless of their soulmate bond, if Kana asked him to step back, he would. “I want him to be happy, I want him to be sure in his choices. And if the age difference is too much....” “A soulmate bond is a hard thing to ignore,” Kana's father said with a frown. “Especially for ones like you.” Kana wasn't sure what his father was trying to suggest, but his heart melted a little more at the way Kouki smiled, confident and serene. “Perhaps. Kana-kun's happiness is what matters most.” “All right, well, I think we've traumatized poor Kana-kun enough for one night,” Kana's mother said as she got up from the table. “I'm glad Kana-kun finally shared you with us, even if it was by accident,” she added with a playful wink. “If you need anything, I'm sure he can help. Sleep well, both of you.” Kana had never been more relieved to watch his parents leave a room. He knew they meant well, but they were so protective of him sometimes. For as far back as he could remember clearly, his mother would practically fly into a panic. It was exhausting and even after so many years he still wasn't used to it. “Breathe, dearest. They haven't chased me off,” Kouki murmured, gently pulling him up into his lap. “And they aren't going to, no matter what.” “Really? Promise?” he mumbled, blushing heavily as soon as the words hit his ears. Hopeless. He really was completely hopeless. No wonder his parents were so overprotective of him. “Really, Kacchan,” the alpha agreed, nuzzling his cheek. “You're the only one who could do that.” Another giddy giggle, then he turned to slide arms around his shoulders and kiss him soundly, right on the lips. The alpha hesitated briefly before sliding both hands up into Kana's hair and returning the kiss for a lingering moment before leaning back a little bit. “Pretty sure they were heading to bed, but maybe we should do the same if you want more of that, just in case?” Another rush of heat hit Kana's cheeks and he nodded before slipping off the alpha's lap. First kiss and he hadn't even taken the time to savor it properly. Not that there wouldn't be plenty more kisses in the future, but ... he really was horrible about everything first when it came to his soulmate. Maybe it was a silly thing to worry about, but he couldn't help it. “Hey, relax, okay?” Kouki said, hands sliding up and over Kana's shoulders as the alpha followed him up the stairs. “You're gonna make yourself sick if you keep worrying over every little thing.” Kana's foot slipped and slid off the next step awkwardly, sending him pitching forward for a moment before Kouki's hands shifted and caught him. “Easy, babe. Honestly,” the blond alpha said with a light chuckle, “you'd think no one had ever loved you before or something.” It was too much, Kana's knees giving out and trying to send him crashing to the stairs, though Kouki had too good a hold on him for that. A beat, perhaps less, and the blond was scooping him up bridal style and carrying him up the rest of the stairs. Kana didn't even have to point out which room was his, his alpha insisting on carrying him over to the bed before going back to close the door. He pulled his knees up to his chest, watching the way Kouki moved across the room, the way he leaned back against the door once he had it closed. “Kana-kun....” “I'm sorry,” he mumbled, ducking his head. But perhaps that had been the wrong thing to say, the way the alpha made a noise somewhere between a snort and a huff. “For what? What is it you think you've done wrong?” his alpha demanded coolly. “For ... for being like this... a pathetic disappointment,” he mumbled, pressing his face into his knees mostly so he didn't have to keep seeing that cold expression on the alpha's face. Kouki was going to leave him, he was certain of it. Worse, he couldn't even blame him; he was so completely pathetic, why wouldn't Kouki leave him, find someone better? Someone who could be a proper mate, maybe even an equal, not just some hopeless kid who didn't know anything about anything. He didn't know why the universe was being so cruel to him, but it was and he hated it. “Stop that. Stop that right now,” Kouki said, surprising him a little with how quickly he had not only come back across the room, but also knelt before him and tilted his head up. “Never apologize for being yourself, Kana.” “B-but -.” “No buts,” the blond alpha interrupted, shaking his head. Another pause and then Kouki leaned in to press a kiss to his forehead, then another to his cheek. “Kana, you aren't a disappointment. A surprise, yes, definitely. I always expected my soulmate to be someone close to my own age, the same as you did, I'm sure. Hell, maybe you even were but something happened and you had to be reborn. I don't know and it doesn't matter. You're my soulmate, teenaged hormones, self-worth issues and all, and I'm not turning my back on you. Not ever, okay?” “But ...,” and yet he couldn't seem to find the words, sighing and shaking his head a little instead. “I mean it, Kana. And don't think I'm going to bite you just to prove it.” Kana jerked his head back up at that, gaping at his alpha like a fish out of water while Kouki just frowned at him. How on earth had he...? Well, okay, a mating bite would be one way to silence the voice in his head that insisted Kouki was going to leave him. Maybe. Alphas could bond more than one omega, after all, so really, in the end, it wouldn't prove anything except maybe that Kouki really was just another greedy knothead. Except for the part where the blond had explicitly said he wouldn't bite him. “... but why not?” he blurted out before he could stop himself, wincing and pressing his face back down into his knees. To his surprise, Kouki actually laughed, ruffling his hair before shifting to sit beside him. “You're only eighteen, for one thing. If I was one of those alphas, we'd already be bonded, babe,” the blond said. An arm snaked around Kana's back and he couldn't resist leaning into the offered comfort. A heavy sigh and his legs slid down the bed as he moved to curl into Kouki's side. “I'm sorry I'm such a mess,” he mumbled. The arm around him pulled him closer, his alpha lightly tapping his head with his fingers in a minor reprimanding gesture. “What did I just get finished saying, baby? You don't have to apologize for being yourself,” the blond scolded lightly. Kana nodded with another sigh, unable to stop the feelings of guilt for being such a terrible soulmate. The silence lingered between them for a moment and when Kouki finally spoke again, it was a whisper so soft Kana almost didn't catch it. “You really haven't been loved before, have you?” The omega winced, though at least snuggled into Kouki's side the alpha couldn't see him blushing again. “N-not ... not like you meant it, n-no,” he mumbled. “I ... I mean, there's family and Chamu-kun and Hayato-senpai, but that ... it's different.” “So I'm pretty much your first everything when it comes to romantic things?” “Completely first,” he admitted in a bare whisper of his own. “I ... I've always liked guys more than girls, I just ... never got up the courage to do anything about it. And when girls would confess, it ... well, it's not like I could return their feelings properly, you know?” “In that case, I insist on calling a do-over on that first kiss,” Kouki said, catching his chin and tilting it up towards him. For a moment, the omega felt frozen, his breath caught in his throat even as he felt Kouki's warm breath wash over him. And then warm lips pressed to his and his eyes fell closed. A sigh and he was leaning closer to his soulmate, one hand closing in his shirt in a desperate bid to stay grounded in some sort of reality. And then just like that Kouki was pulling back, cupping his face and stroking his cheek with his thumb. That sense of everything just being right hit him again. Kouki was an idiot if he really thought Kana was going to chase him away. “I need to get my bag from the car, but I'll be right back, okay?” “I'm not going anywhere,” the omega said even has he leaned back, flashing his alpha a cheeky grin. Another laugh and Kouki slipped from the bed. That little voice still lingered in the back of his head, but it was quieter now. Maybe by the end of the weekend he would be able to silence it? Maybe not. Probably not. But he wasn't going to let that keep him from trying. ***** Fragility ***** Chapter Notes In which Kana continues to be a whiny teenager. I'd apologize, but... teenagers. ww Kana couldn't help a small smile to himself as he leaned back against his bedroom wall, watching Kouki. On the one hand, it felt a little creepy to be sitting there in the early morning, just watching the blond sleep. On the other hand, it was a chance to just observe his alpha, to notice little things he hadn't previously. Like the way dark roots were starting to come in under the sunny blond. Or the number of spacers that betrayed piercings the omega had never even suspected, like second and third ear piercings and a labret. He wasn't quite brave enough to see if that was actually a tattoo lurking on Kouki's covered hip or just his eyes playing tricks in the low light. Just thinking about having Kouki in his bed had originally been enough to make him blush hotter than the sun, the reality of having his alpha half naked and sleeping beside him.... He really hated that he was even awake at the moment even while he was savoring being able to just take in the beauty of the man in his bed with him. For someone who worked an office job, Kouki was surprisingly well muscled. Strong arms, a toned chest, defined abs, and lean, long legs that seemed to go on forever. Kana couldn't help feeling torn between wanting to climb on top of that gorgeous body and feeling half afraid to even breathe, as if the alpha would vanish like morning mist if he dared touch him. At some point, he completely lost focus, startling badly when a hand brushed his. “Hey sweetie. Deep thoughts?” “Y-yeah,” he stammered, a hot blush staining his cheeks. “I ... I guess I'm still trying to process that you're really actually here and that it's not all just some sort of dream.” “How 'bout I help with that?” the alpha said, reaching up and pulling the omega down into a slow, tender kiss. Kana willingly melted into the kiss, a low moan catching in his throat when Kouki rolled him onto his back. But though the blond alpha had him pinned and vulnerable beneath him, he didn't escalate beyond kisses that were more sweet than heated. A few more and Kouki was sitting back, smiling down at him. “So what would you normally be doing on a Saturday at this time?” Kouki asked with a playful smirk. “Sleeping,” Kana replied without hesitation. “Sometimes I'll stay in bed all morning. Unless I'm sick, that's about as late as I can manage, cuz Chamu-kun usually turns up around noon and drags me out.” Shit. Chamu. Even after more than a month since that first meeting, the beta still didn't believe Kouki was Kana's soulmate. He was convinced Kouki was up to something nefarious and hearing that the alpha was unmated even at the age of thirty-six had only further convinced him that he was right. Kana had given up even trying to talk to the beta about his soulmate or anything that could be related back to relationships or alphas in general. “I'm going to assume that panicked rabbit look means that you're expecting him to come over as usual and that he still hates me,” Kouki said, a slight frown tugging at his lips. “Why haven't I ever seen you with your labret in?” Kana blurted out, another mortified blush racing into his cheeks. Kouki stopped and just looked at him for a second, and then a low chuckle rippled out of the alpha. “I have enough problems getting taken seriously without having that for the old windbags to try to use as evidence that I'm not properly dedicated to my job,” Kouki replied with a shrug. “But you use spacers. I ... I noticed when you were still sleeping earlier,” he confessed. “Yeah, I do,” Kouki agreed with a nod. A beat and then the alpha slipped from his bed. Kana sat up to watch him, surprised when he silently left the room. Had he said the wrong thing? Oh god, he hadn't offended him, had he? Kouki wasn't leaving him, was he? He forced himself to close his eyes and take a deep breath. He was being ridiculous, if Kouki was going to leave, he would have grabbed his bag or at least put on pants. He wasn't sure how long he sat there like that, eyes closed, trying to calm his panicked breathing, before a hand landed on his shin, the scent of cardamon and leather wafting up his nose as his alpha leaned close. Kana didn't say anything, didn't even open his eyes, letting his nose and instinct guide him. He leaned forward, pressing his face into warm skin and just breathing in Kouki's scent. He didn't even care that Kouki hadn't showered yet, that his scent was more old sweat and stale cigarette smoke than the softer spices and leather he remembered from that first meeting. It didn't matter, because Kouki was real, warm and firm and comfortingly there, not just a voice from the internet. “Kana-kun?” the blond asked, a note of worry in his voice. The omega shook his head and leaned in closer, finally feeling a bit of calm spreading over him once more. “Baby, what is it?” Kouki asked even as he shifted, pulling Kana even closer to him. “Talk to me, sweetie.” It wasn't that he was trying to be difficult or anything, but the words were stuck in his throat. Shaking his head again, he slithered arms around the blond alpha and practically clung to him, straining to fill his senses with the realness of Kouki's presence. He didn't even understand why until he realized his heart had stopped racing and he wasn't hyperventilating anymore. He really should have paid more attention to his biology lessons, he had no idea if Kouki, as either an alpha or his soulmate (or both?), was actually responsible for calming him or if it was all in his head. Then again, maybe it didn't matter, the whys and the hows, so long as it kept working. Kouki was warm and real and holding him close and stroking his hair and nothing else mattered. Kana might have fallen asleep, he wasn't sure, though it would explain how they had gone from sitting up on his bed to laying down on it, his head cradled to Kouki's chest. He could hear the alpha's steady heartbeat that matched his own, feel the light touch of fingers caressing his skin in an almost absentminded manner. “I don't know what to do with my life,” he mumbled without preamble. “I've never known what I wanted to do with my life. I kept thinking maybe I'd figure it out in high school, but it hasn't happened. I was starting to think, well, it didn't really matter. I'd settle into some salaryman job or maybe work in a music shop for a few years, just until I was mated, and then I'd be busy raising a family. But if you don't want that, if you don't want me, then ... then I don't know what to do.” “... what brought this on?” Kouki asked and Kana couldn't help a slight flinch, not sure just what that tone was supposed to mean. “... if you left me for real, I don't know what I'd do,” he mumbled. A beat and then Kouki clasped his chin, turning his head up to face him. A small silver stud had replaced the retainer in his labret and Kana couldn't take his eyes off of it. “If I have to say it a hundred times more, I will, Kacchan: I'm not leaving you. Not until and unless you tell me to go. If you're sure about wanting to be my housewife, I will take care of you. I think college would be good for you, as a social experience even if you don't want the degree, but I won't force you to go, love.” Another shiver and Kana scooted himself even closer, trying not to give in to the tears he could feel prickling at the corners of his eyes. “I ... sorry,” he mumbled. “You keep saying it, but I can't help it. I don't know why, it doesn't really make any sense at all, I know that, I know you've said a dozen times you won't leave, and ye–.” Mid-word, Kouki tilted his chin up a little more and kissed him. And unlike their previous kisses, this one was heated, eager and even a bit demanding of his submission, which Kana gave easily. Warmth rushed through him, pooling low in his belly, and if he didn't know it was impossible, he would have thought his heat was on him again. He ached to feel Kouki even closer, to feel his alpha claiming him completely, and he whined when Kouki pulled back. “If you want to go to college to study business, I will support you,” his alpha murmured, brushing fingers along his cheek. “If you want to go to college to study filmmaking or dance or West African art history, I will support you. If you want to work in a corner deli, I will support you. If you want to try starting a family right away and be a stay-at-home father, I will support you. Hell, if you need to take a break after graduation and just lay on my couch for six, eight, ten, twenty months, I will still support you. You are my mate, or you will be, and as long as it makes you happy, then I will support you, whatever you choose to do or not do, all right?” “But what if I don't know what will make me happy?” he asked, unable to keep from frowning. “Then we'll figure it out, together,” the blond alpha said, leaning down for a brief kiss. “Come on. As much as I'd love to keep you in bed right now, I'm not comfortable doing that in your parents' house. And I'm not sure how much longer until Chamu-kun turns up demanding your attention.” He could feel a blush rushing into his cheeks even as Kouki claimed his lips in another all too brief kiss. It wasn't fair, but Kouki had a point. Both about his parents and about his best friend. He just hoped things with Chamu didn't end up being too awkward. ~*~*~ Kana had never really thought about it, so used to seeing Kouki in his serious businessman form in their infrequent Skype sessions that it hadn't really occurred to him to think about how he would look when he was being just himself, completely separate from all things work related. All the retained piercings had jewelry in them now, mostly unassuming silver hoops to match the silver stud in the alpha's lip, though the lowest one on the left had a single silver wing hanging from it. Blond hair was styled in a more feathered, rockstar kind of look that matched well with the stylishly rumpled v-neck tee and long grey cardigan paired with clean black denim, the collection of onyx and silver jewelry clustered around his watch, the silver rings and black polish that had appeared while Kana had been taking a shower. He was truly beautiful in a way that made Kana's heart skip a beat. In comparison, Kana felt a bit frumpy in a favorite but somewhat worn band tee and old jeans. Truth was, he was feeling more than just a little bit jealous of the easy way Kouki was able to restyle himself however he liked while Kana was stuck with his parent's rules. Rules that meant his hair, while longer than some, was still boring black. And that the one piercing he had, in the cartilage of his right ear, he had to keep so hidden that they didn't know anything about it, even though he'd had it since his birthday. A part of him desperately wished he could just quit school and live on Kouki's couch for awhile, like the alpha had suggested. And were it not for the sure knowledge that doing so would piss off just about everyone and thereby spoil any chance of him being happy with the arrangement, he would have done it. Kana was sitting perched on his bed, watching as Kouki sat in the middle of the open floor, sifting through an assortment of necklaces, when his door suddenly popped open. “Rise and shi–.” Chamu's sadistically gleeful declaration died before he could finish saying the words, eyes narrowing a little at seeing his intended victim was not only already out of bed, but also showered and dressed. Kana checked his phone and couldn't help a soft chuckle. “Told you. Exactly three minutes past noon.” “Yes, yes, anywhere you want for lunch, my treat,” Kouki agreed easily, finally settling on a pair of necklaces, one short chain with a tiny square pendant that would rest in the hollow between his collarbones and another, longer chain with a gothic styled cross. “What's he doing here?” Chamu half hissed as he skirted around the edge of the room. “Taking us to lunch,” Kana replied, stretching as he got up from his bed. “And then the new MCU movie. Unless you don't want to come.” “You never used to give two shits about Marvel until that rumor started about Ironman being a secret omega,” Chamu muttered, though at least he wasn't outright refusing to join them. “Yeah, well, I've watched the movies now and I'm telling you, the only people who are going to be shocked are people who don't actually know any omegas,” Kana insisted, stubbornly crossing his arms over his chest. They had been having this argument since the second Captain America movie, which was when the rumor had first started circulating in certain fandom circles. Before that, American superhero comics had been more Chamu's thing than his and Kana had been content to let his best friend ramble on about this series or that without any real concern for who was who or what Chamu was saying. Too often, omegas in modern media were portrayed as little better than breeders, good for nothing but making babies and satisfying alphas' knotheaded fantasies. The very idea that a major Hollywood franchise would have an omega in a major heroic role was more than a little subversive, given American biases. And of course now there were all kinds of speculation about whether this meant the actor contracted to portray Tony Stark might not also be secretly omega. Kana figured that was probably a bit of a long shot, as much time as the guy spent in the media spotlight, but it was a nice fantasy. Considering how many societies were still pretty boneheaded even about alpha females being allowed to do more than “safe” work, well... “It's still just an internet rumor, you know,” Chamu grumbled. “People on the internet say stupid shit all the time. People lie.” Kana held his breath at the less than subtle jab, but either Kouki didn't notice or he didn't care. The blond alpha stowed his jewelry case then turned and offered Kana such a dazzling smile he almost forgot his own name. “So have you decided where you want to go for lunch? And have you looked up directions yet?” “Yup. There's a conveyor sushi place that I've been wanting to try since it opened a couple months ago. It's a short walk from the cinema, too, so we'll only have to park once~” “... I tell you we can eat anywhere you want and you want conveyor sushi?” Kouki asked, an obviously skeptical look on his face. “Hey, you don't know, it could be really, really good!” Kana countered. “It's lunch, I don't want to go somewhere super fancy and expensive right before a movie, that feels ... I dunno, silly.” It would have been more accurate to say he wanted to avoid those pricier places while Chamu was out with them to keep things from getting too awkward. Going someplace nicer would have felt a little too much like a date, with Chamu as the unhappy third wheel. Of course, if his best friend backed out, well, he had a place in mind that might come closer to matching Kouki's expectations, an Italian place in the business district that he had been fairly certain he would never actually get to try until Kouki had walked into his life. It would still feel a little weird to him, but he would deal with that if it meant his alpha was happier. “So, what, fancy places are for dinner dates and cultural outings?” Kouki teased. “Well, I did say anywhere you want, so if that's what you want....” “It is,” he said with a firm nod before turning to snag Chamu's arm and start tugging him towards the door. The beta hadn't backed out of going with them yet, so he was just going to assume he was coming until Chamu actually said otherwise. No matter how annoying the beta could be - and he could be pretty damn annoying - he was still Kana's best and closest (and sometimes, only) friend. And he would keep trying to mend the rift between them until either Chamu stopped hating Kouki or the beta walked out of his life for good. The fact that, at the moment, Chamu seemed willing to just go along with him gave him hope that maybe things really could go back to being the way they had been before running into Kouki. “I ... oh my, Kouki-san....” Kana had to fight down a giggle at his mother's reaction to seeing his alpha dressed so differently from the business suit of last night. “I promised Kana-kun lunch and a movie, though we might stay out later than that, if that's all right?” “What? Oh, um, yes, he did say he wanted to spend the weekend with you,” his mother said, giving the three of them a speculative look. “Well, those two know when to be back for dinner. You are coming back for dinner, right?” The look on his mother's face made it clear that, regardless of how she had phrased it, she expected them back for dinner, and probably the rest of the evening besides. Kana did his best to stifle a sigh; he had kind of been hoping they could stay out after the movie, maybe drop Chamu back home then go to dinner and check out that hotel room that Kouki had reserved. The blond alpha's eyes slid to him for a moment, then back to his mother, a charming smile appearing as he did. “Yes, ma'am, I'll make sure of it,” he said, offering a respectful bow before gently herding Kana towards the door. The omega wasn't sure what he had been expecting to see in his parents' driveway, but somehow the silver sedan wasn't it. It was so ... sensible. Almost exactly like the company car his dad had, except that this one had a BMW badge on the hood. Even Chamu, who had to have seen the car when he got there, seemed a bit startled and hesitant when Kouki walked right over to the sedan. Kouki paused in the driver's side door and gave them a quizzical look. “Are you two coming?” “Right, right, coming,” Kana said, tugging on Chamu's sleeve. His friend hesitated a moment longer and then he was nodding along in agreement. “You can take shotgun, I guess, just... just don't get out of hand,” the beta grumbled as he slid into the back seat. Embarrassment flooded into Kana's cheeks but he shoved aside the impulse to just stand there sputtering in favor of actually getting into the front seat. It wasn't much, but maybe it was a start? ***** Faith ***** Chapter Notes Some schools get mentioned in shorthand in this chapter. They are: Fukudai (University of Fukui), Meidai (Nagoya University), and Todai (University of Tokyo). “Well I don't care what you say, Tony Stark is definitely omega and you aren't going to change my mind.” “You're so stubborn, you know that? I get it, omegas deserve to have heros, too, but it doesn't make sense, it just doesn't. Stark's what, late forties now, early fifties maybe even? And you're going to tell me that in all that time no one, not even Pepper, noticed he was hiding his orientation? That he gave up everything, including being a parent, just to keep alive the illusion of being a rich beta? Why? Why bother? He's brilliant, he owns a hugely successful multinational tech company, he could do pretty much anything he wanted without having to pretend to be a beta, so why?” “Spoken like a true beta,” Kana grumbled. Kouki watched the two teenagers argue, much as they had been almost from the moment they had walked out of the movie. This was one argument of which he definitely wanted no part, especially when there was no upside for him. If he sided with his soulmate, Chamu would use it as further evidence against him. And if he sided with Chamu, while it might improve the beta's feelings toward him, Kana would take it as a personal betrayal. Besides, if he had to choose a side between the two, he was leaning more towards Kana's, and not just because of their soulmate bond. Soulmate. He had started to suspect his soulmate might live somewhere other than Tokyo, but keeping on top of the Matsumoto Group and fending off his detractors had kept him from spending much time thinking about it. What he had never expected was to find his soul's mate in the body of a male omega half his age. While Kouki absolutely would not, could not, deny the as yet incomplete bond between them, he wasn't so blind as not to notice that Kana's age was going to be a problem. He was going to have his work cut out for him when Kana finally came to live with him in Tokyo. And oddly enough, he was kind of looking forward to it. “Kouki knows I'm right, don't you?” “About ... Stark? Oh no, babe, I am not getting between two best friends, you two can argue this out without me,” he said, laughing at the way Kana took to pouting at him. He couldn't resist, snagging the omega's hand and raising it to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it. It didn't stop the pouting, but he would live with it. ~*~*~ Some days Kouki wondered how the nose-blind beta majority managed to get through life when they couldn't pick up on any of the scent messages the world offered. And other times he was grateful for their disadvantage. Kana had been annoyed to have to settle for agreeing to disagree, though he had perked up when Chamu had suggested they walk through the mall before going back to the car and Kana's house. Amusingly enough, while Kana had verbally balked at the suggestion of Kouki buying him anything, his scent had betrayed little flares of hopefulness and pleasure. Notes that had grown even stronger when the alpha had finally ignored the ongoing protests and bought him the hoodie he had been practically lusting over. And then there was Chamu, who probably had no idea just how strongly he had been telegraphing his anger. Or how easy it was for Kouki to sniff out the truth under the bluster. The beta was jealous, nervous, even scared, and Kouki could understand why, though he thought the teen's reaction to him was a bit overblown. Betas liked to claim they were the level-headed ones in society, but teenagers were teenagers, regardless of designation. Kana was in a fragile enough mental place, they didn't need Chamu's jealousy issues poisoning what they were building between them. He didn't want to get accused of trying to buy Chamu's good will, but he couldn't just ignore the beta's upset, either. “You two about ready to head back? I did promise your mother I'd get you home in time for dinner,” Kouki said, briefly catching Kana's hand. The omega blinked up at him a second, then frowned at the manga in his hands. “Um ... five more minutes?” Kana asked, giving him an almost criminally hopeful look. “If it's that good, why not just buy it?” he asked, even though he had a pretty good idea what the answer was. Both the one Kana was about to give him and the actual answer. “Oh, well, um, I'm not sure it actually is that good? That's why I'm reading it here?” “Well, try to decide and then you two meet me at the car, okay?” “Eh? But ... huh? Why?” Kana stammered and Kouki had to resist the urge to laugh. His omega really was too cute when he was confused. “I need to pick up a bottle of sake for dinner,” he said as he fished out his wallet, handing over a couple of bills. “Buy it if you want or find something else, but don't take too long, okay? If I have to come back here looking for you two....” “Five minutes. Maybe ten. We'll meet you at the car,” Kana said with a hum and a smile. Kouki nodded, unable to resist the temptation to ruffle Kana's hair in parting. It earned him a pout from the young omega, but it was a safe way of showing affection without drawing unwanted attention from the betas in the shop. Perhaps it was inevitable that they would have to face static over their relationship, but Kouki was determined to shield Kana from the worst of it for as long as possible. If that meant curbing his own affectionate impulses while they were out together, then for now that was what he would do. ~*~*~ Even though Kana was the one to ask Chamu if he wanted to stay the night, Kouki could still taste the disappointment in his soulmate when the beta actually agreed. Just as he was able to scent faint flickers of satisfaction in Chamu. Right up until the beta realized Kouki had already claimed Kana's bed and then the bitter jealousy notes flooded forth again. Ridiculous and yet so predictable. He waited for the young beta to stomp off for a shower before turning and catching Kana in a loose embrace. “You know, Kacchan, maybe I should –.” “Don't say it,” the omega said, surprising him with a finger pressed to his lips. “Chamu-kun's been my best friend for as long as I can remember, but you're my soulmate. He's going to have to get over it eventually anyway, he might as well start now.” Kouki's lips twitched into a smile and then he pressed a kiss to Kana's finger. “All right, love, all right. I had to make the suggestion,” he said, pulling his hand down so he could lean in and kiss the omega properly. Kana practically swooned and he couldn't help a soft purr of delight. In the past, he would have said they were taking things too fast, especially considering the differences between them, but with Kana.... With Kana, everything just felt right. For the first time in his life, Kouki felt ... secure. “I ... all right, but next time you get a weekend free, we're not spending it here,” Kana huffed. “If your parents are all right with it, then I was thinking perhaps you could come to Tokyo for your winter break. It's going to be our first Christmas and I want it to be something special.” Kana's eyes went wide, his mouth opening and closing several times before he was able to make any words come out: “You ... you mean it?” “Of course I mean it,” he replied, chuckling. “Why would I say something I didn't mean?” “What? I ... no, I know, I mean... really? I ... I don't know, what if they say no??” “Then I suppose we'll just have to make sure they say yes. Are we going out again tomorrow or staying in?” “I ... I dunno,” Kana mumbled, stepping closer and hugging him tightly. “Staying in maybe? I just want to spend time with you, I don't really care how.” “Movies and your mom's cooking?” “Sounds good to me,” Kana agreed with a nod. “What does?” The minute Chamu's voice registered, Kana tried to step back, though Kouki selfishly chose not to release him. If Kana meant what he had just said about making the beta deal with the reality of their relationship, well, then Kouki saw no need to censor himself in front of the other teen any more than he would have in front of his own friends back home. “Um, movie marathon tomorrow,” Kana said and Kouki could smell the omega's nervousness. “After I finish my maths and chemistry homework, yes, I know.” “What about that essay for history?” “Finished it last night,” the omega said, chin tilting up in a sort of subtle challenge. Kouki felt a momentary twinge that it hadn't even occurred to him to ask about homework. “I can't stay too late tomorrow, have to get back to Tokyo for work on Monday,” he said and though he couldn't actually see it, he could feel and practically taste his soulmate's disappointment in the air. Turning the young omega back towards him, he tilted his chin up and brushed a quick kiss to his lips. “We'll talk to your parents tomorrow,” he said softly, a small smile curving his lips. “About Christmas and about the future.” Kana's whole face lit up with a hopeful smile, though Kouki couldn't help also noticing the spike of upset and jealousy from Chamu. He knew what Kana had said about his relationship with his best friend, but he was also starting to wonder if the beta hadn't seen things differently. He was certainly behaving possessively enough to be a disgruntled ex-suitor, even though Kana swore their relationship had never been that way. “Go wash up,” he chided softly, giving him a light pat on the butt, “or no murder mysteries before bed.” Kana rolled his eyes, then surprised him completely with a quick peck on the lips before hurrying away to the bathroom. Leaving Kouki alone with an obviously sullen Chamu. “Hating me isn't the answer, you know,” he said, sinking to the floor beside his bag in a calculated move to try to make himself seem less threatening. A casual tone and a smaller profile could go a long way, psychologically speaking, in making another person feel more secure. “You can't stop or change this. Just because you don't like the idea of me being Kana's soulmate, that doesn't make it untrue.” “And I suppose you expect me to just accept that just because you say it's true,” the beta said with a snort. “It'd be nice,” Kouki said as he finished taking off his jewelry, “but no, not really.” He had to bite back a smile at the snort those words elicited. Yeah, that's what he had expected. Fixing this wasn't going to be easy or quick, but it wasn't in his nature to just let things fester. And that meant getting to the bottom of things, now, before they could get even worse. “So,” he said, turning towards the teenager to give him his full attention, “is it my alphaness, my age, or just the fact that I'm not you that's the problem?” “Just because I don't know what game you're playing.... Kacchan's always thinking the best of everyone, but I know better. You can trick him, but you're not fooling me,” the sullen teen muttered. “What makes you so sure this is all a game to me?” he asked, frowning. “Oh come on, what else am I supposed to think? He's half your age!” “Yes, I had rather noticed that,” Kouki said with a wry smile. “I didn't make this happen, Chamu-kun, this was the work of the gods, of the universe, of whatever cosmic force you want to blame for tying two souls together. I won't say it will be easy, but I have faith that Kana and I will find solutions to the problems ahead. It would be easier if my mate knew he could count on the support of his best friend.” “You say that like you aren't just planning to steal him away in four months when we graduate,” the beta muttered. And there lay the true heart of the matter. Regardless of anything else, Chamu and Kana had been best friends for as long as either teen could remember. And now Chamu was terrified that he was being forced to give up his closest friend. “We haven't actually made that decision yet, Chamu-kun,” he said gently, not wanting to upset the other teen any more than he already was. “It's true that I've offered for him to move in with me after graduation, whether he chooses to pursue further education or not. I'd prefer to see him go to college and if the two of you wanted to do that in Tokyo, I'd be happy to help facilitate it. In the end, though, the choice is his.” Breath whooshed out of him as he found himself suddenly flat on his back, blinking up at Kana's ceiling. He didn't even get a chance to catch his breath before his soulmate was kissing him with the sort of desperation that, especially in front of Chamu, set off all sorts of warning bells. The omega's scent was a confused muddle of everything from happy to scared, and Kouki had to physically push him back, force him to let him sit up properly. Immediately Kana's scent changed, shame rushing over the happier notes as the teenager visible shrank into himself. That was no good and he pulled the omega back into his lap. “It's okay, baby,” he whispered, purposefully keeping his voice down in an effort to keep Chamu from overhearing. “I'm not mad, you just startled me. You shouldn't be eavesdropping like that.” “Sorry,” the omega mumbled even while snuggling himself into Kouki's lap. “I ... did you mean it? What you said to Chamu-kun about it being my choice, I mean.” This again. Another alpha would be getting tired of this by now. Hell, in different circumstances, he would be getting tired of having his word questioned again and again. That Kana was his soulmate was the only thing making this easier. “I just want you to be happy, baby,” he said, this time loudly enough that Chamu would be able to hear every word. “If that means I have to keep driving out here one weekend a month while you study art history or genetics or Egyptology at a college here in Fukui, then I will. And if you and Chamu-kun want to move to Tokyo to study there instead or take a year to work first or whatever, then I'll help with that instead. Whatever you want to do, Kacchan.” “R-really?” Kana asked, looking up at him again with large brown eyes. The unmasked and yet wary hope he saw there was almost enough to break his heart. Just what had this poor kid been through in his life that he was so jaded, so afraid to believe in other people? “Really. Whatever it takes, we'll figure it out. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters,” he said with a nod, gently tucking a loose strand of hair back behind Kana's pierced ear. The spark of hope grew stronger in those dark eyes and then Kana was burrowing even closer, pressing his face into Kouki's chest. No matter what, he would definitely protect Kana from now on. He knew he couldn't erase whatever had happened in the past, but he would show his mate that he didn't have to be so wary all the time. “And if he says he wants to get an apartment with me instead of moving in with you?” Chamu asked and Kouki had to resist the urge to roll his eyes at the bitterness lurking in each word. He felt Kana stiffen at the beta's words and he tightened his arms around the omega before glancing over his shoulder at the other teen. “Then I would say that I'd be happy to look into which of my buildings will have apartments coming open in March and e-mail the both of you their listings. And if none of them were suitable, I would help you find one that met your needs and then help with key money and deposits so you two could get better settled. Though I might also feel obligated to point out that my penthouse has two guest bedrooms and, as Kacchan's best friend, you would be welcome to use one for as long as you wished.” The disbelieving look on Chamu's face was echoed in the skeptical notes he was picking up from both teens. This time he wasn't able to restrain the urge to sigh, even though he knew their skepticism was quite reasonable. If his soulmate was still constantly having issues believing him after two months, it was little wonder that Chamu, who barely spoke to him at all thanks to his jealousy, didn't believe him either. A playful tug on Kana's fringe and he managed to silently coax the teen up long enough for him to shift so he could lean against the bed and actually see Chamu properly, without getting a crink in his neck. As soon as he was settled again, he opened his arms and the omega climbed right back into his lap, face pressing into the side of his neck while Chamu watched them with an intent but closed expression that had him wondering just what the beta was thinking. “Well, it's not like anything's been decided yet,” he said when the two seemed unable to find their tongues. “You both still have time to figure things out.” Kana huffed before sitting up properly again, though he wouldn't meet Kouki's eyes. “We're both taking the national exam and I've been trying to get Chamu-kun to take the Meidai exam all year, but he says he'd rather stay here and go to Fukudai. I ... I was only taking the Fukudai exam because I couldn't figure out what else to do. No one really wants to hire an omega without a degree, but I don't know if I can actually pass it,” Kana explained, huffing a noise of frustration. “Half the recruiters I talked to switched off as soon as they found out I was omega, like even thinking about hiring me would be a waste of their time. Like I should just shut up and get on with getting myself mated and producing babies like a good little breeder.” Kouki stifled a sigh of his own, instead kissing the top of Kana's head. He had certainly seen and heard enough of that sort of attitude himself, especially in his college days, to even think about arguing it. As if omegas should just be grateful they had been allowed to get an education, any education, at all. As if expecting to be treated the same as their alpha and beta classmates was completely ridiculous. Too many people, companies, and institutions were still suffering from the dual social poisons of a machismo-driven patriarchy and a pervasive notion that omegas were nothing more than lowly breeders, a result of the era of European Imperialism that had so marked the whole last half of the previous millennium. There was some truth to the notion that male alphas were bigger and stronger than any other sub-type, but female alphas were arguably even better than their male counterparts at managing the affairs of community and state. And some omegas could mentally run circles around their alpha and beta peers if given half a chance. Kouki had himself insisted on instituting a comprehensive non-discrimination policy across the whole of the Matsumoto Group, over the at times very vocal objections of both his advisors and the Group's board of directors. The board had even filed a motion of censure against him, the first step in removing him as CEO, but the measure had failed. As unpopular as the measure had been - and continued to be - his detractors couldn't actually frame it as negligence on his part. Matsumoto Group was a strong enough corporate force that he was hoping perhaps other companies would follow his lead, but he wasn't going to hold his breath. In the mean time.... “If you two want to sit the Todai exam or any of the other Tokyo schools' exams instead....” “I probably couldn't get into Todai, but Chamu-kun, you should definitely do it.” “Kana....” Kouki could scent the stubbornness even before his omega shifted to glower at the beta, still standing across the room. “Look, you said you wouldn't sit the Meidai exam, even though they've got one of the best engineering schools in the country, because you didn't want to move away from me. If it'll make you two feel better, I'll sit an exam for one of the other schools, but either way, I'm definitely moving to Tokyo after we graduate, Chamu-kun, so if you really meant what you said about staying close, then obviously you're going to have to come to Tokyo with me.” “... you realize my parents are going to completely freak out if this actually works. They weren't all that thrilled with the thought of me going to college in the first place. I just always told them I was doing it because you were doing it.” “Yeah, well, the fact that they believed that just further proves that they aren't right in the head,” Kana muttered. Kouki quirked an eyebrow at that; there was obviously a story there, but he wasn't going to push for details, not yet anyway. “Yeah, yeah, all right, fine, I'll sit for Todai, but you better sit for something, Kacchan, cuz I'm not moving to Tokyo just so you can lay around on this guy's couch all day, you brat.” “... wait, does that mean we're moving into Kouki's place then?” “If we move up there, even if we got a place of our own, you'd want to be over at his place all the time anyway, right?” “Well ... yeah,” Kana admitted and Kouki could almost feel the omega's blush. “So then yeah ... yeah, I guess we are. I mean it doesn't make sense to rent a place you aren't going to spend any time in and I can't go to school full time and work enough to rent a place on my own. And we pay rent and a fair share of the utilities and groceries, Mr. I Own Apartment Buildings,” Chamu grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest with a stubborn scowl. “I even promise not to fuss about how you two decide Kacchan pays his part, just ... just don't tell me about it if you decide not to use money, okay?” Kana's happy squeak was loud enough that his mother stuck her head in to make sure everything was okay. Kouki smiled at how readily his soulmate's mother let herself be shooed away with amusingly general assurances that everything was fine. Of course Kana's parents were both betas, nose-blind to the mixed emotions the blond alpha could scent in the room. Scents that worried him just a little bit. This was an awful big and fast turn around on Chamu's part and as much as he didn't want to spoil this happy moment for his soulmate ... it was suspicious. “That's ... quite the change of opinion from half an hour ago,” he said cautiously, taking a deep breath to try to gauge the moods of both teenagers. “I thought you didn't trust me?” “I don't,” Chamu said with a scowl, earning himself a swat from Kana. “But I made a promise. I'm not a deadbeat and I'm not someone who breaks his word. I'm sticking with Kana, if he's moving to Tokyo, then so am I. And if you don't like it, well, then tough shit..” A beat and Kouki nodded. “I appreciate your honesty,” he said as he stood. “And I stand by what I said, the two of you are welcome to move in with me in March. I'll even help with the moving.” “Not like we'll need much help,” Kana said, chuckling. “I mean, your place is already furnished, so it's just clothes and personal stuff, right?” “Maybe Chamu-kun would prefer his own bed,” Kouki said with a casual shrug. “You can take all the pictures for him at Christmas and decide after that how much you want to bring with you. If it all fits in my car, fine. If we'd be better off hiring a van or truck, well, I can drive that if it comes to it.” “... you don't always have to do everything for him, you know,” Chamu grumbled, but it seemed more reflexive than serious. Kouki couldn't help a soft chuckle. “It's not about doing everything for him, Chamu-kun, I'm just trying to help my future mate. It's an offer to help, one he can always decline.” “Like an omega is really going to say no to an alpha,” the beta countered, rolling his eyes. “It wouldn't be the first time an omega's told me to fuck off,” Kouki said with a casual shrug. “Won't be the last time, either, I'm sure. Kana can tell me no any time he wants and I will always listen. I'm not one of those alphas, Chamu- kun, but I get it, it's going to take you time to believe it.” Walking over to Kana, he ruffled the omega's hair and pecked a quick kiss to his cheek before making his way to the bathroom. He wasn't sure they had made much progress, him and Chamu, but at least the beta was willing to be honest with him. It wasn't much, but for now he would take what he could get. ***** Firsts ***** Chapter Notes Biology notes at the bottom! Because A/B/O may be ridiculous on the face of it, but dammit if I'm not going to make things at least a little bit sensible and consistent. Or something. See the end of the chapter for more notes Kana could feel his eyes threatening to pop out of his head as he stepped up from the genkan and into the great room of his alpha's penthouse. The amount of open space felt almost obscene, but what really pulled him across the room was the view. Kouki's apartment looked out onto a private garden terrace complete with an al fresco dining space, a garden, and even a covered pool, with bits of the Tokyo skyline peeking through the screening bamboo. “Goddamn, how rich are you???” Kana blurted out, both hands immediately flying up over his mouth as he felt himself turn beet red. That ... that had been completely tactless. Kouki laughed, coming up behind him to slide arms around his waist. “Rich enough that I don't think about it in those terms,” he replied, chuckling as he pulled him back against his chest. “I grew up with it. Not this place specifically, that came later, but this kind of money, yeah. Private schools, private tutors, the best that money could buy in pretty much everything. Papa always was brilliant when it came to making something out of nothing. I suppose you could say I followed in his footsteps.” “Really? So when do I get to meet him?” “Not in this lifetime,” Kouki said softly and Kana couldn't help a flinch at the sadness in the alpha's voice. “... is ... is that why you've never really talked about him?” he asked quietly, feeling suddenly guilty for potentially bringing up bad memories. “If you're asking if it's because I'm ashamed of you, the answer is no. I can't say for sure, of course, but I like to think my parents would have welcomed you with open arms,” the alpha said, hugging him tighter. “My grandfather is another story, but he's not worth worrying about right now. Come on, let me show you around.” Kana worried that had been too easy, too flippant, but he really did want to see more of Kouki's place, so he let it go. Turning around in Kouki's arms, he pecked a quick kiss to his alpha's lips before stepping back and giving the apartment a more proper look. Elegant was the first word to come to mind, even with the crisp modern lines, the stark contrast between black and white furnishings and the burnished golden wood panel flooring of the main room. The kitchen was a proper, fully separate kitchen with gleaming stainless steel appliances and a butchers' block island that made Kana wish he actually knew how to cook more than cup noodles and omurice. The first guest bedroom wasn't much to see, not really any bigger than Kana's room back home and decorated in muted greens and browns. Kana took pictures of it anyway, even of the shallow closet, so Chamu would be able to have something to go with Kana's impressions of the place. He stopped short at the second guest bedroom, though, as it had obviously been set up as Kouki's home office, though there was room enough to roll out a futon if one didn't want to sleep on the couch. Otherwise, the only real difference Kana could see was the coloration - three of the walls were a muted sky blue with the fourth a bright peacock blue-green. Well, and the lack of a bed, but.... “If Chamu-kun wants this room, I don't mind changing my office to the other one,” Kouki said, sliding arms around Kana's waist again. “Although if it's just the colors, I could have the other room painted like this one. I'm not sure if he wants to be right next to our room. It's soundproofed, of course, but still.” Kana couldn't help a shiver at those words. Their room. This was really happening. He snapped a few quick pictures of the office before turning in Kouki's arms again. “So I should probably go grab my bag then, huh?” he said, smiling as he didn't move away at all. Instead he pressed himself even closer while telling himself not to get too far ahead of himself. They weren't even properly mated yet and just because they had shared a bed together once.... “I suppose,” Kouki drawled, grinning down at him, “that's going to depend on if you really think you're going to need anything out of it right this second. Though if you ask me, just between us, I don't think you will.” There might have been some response lurking on Kana's tongue, but it vanished all too readily when his alpha pulled him closer still and kissed him. A shiver skittered down the omega's spine and a moan slipped free at the possessiveness in each touch, each kiss, each moment. Kouki was right, there was absolutely nothing in Kana's bag that couldn't wait for later. And then Kouki was pulling back, pressing a kiss to his forehead before steering him out of the office. Right, couldn't actually progress to seeing the master bedroom if they stayed in the office kissing. Pushing down the niggling feeling of disappointment, he let himself be walked down the hall to the bedroom that was going to be theirs now. The first thing he noticed was the view, a split between the terrace on one side and the city on the flanking side. Tinted glass muted the cityscape and even though there wasn't another tall building all that close, Kana was still relieved to know people wouldn't be able to see in so easily. It was an amazing view, but he liked his privacy and he definitely didn't want to think about being watched while he and Kouki were being intimate together, a thought that sent heat flooding through his cheeks. Like the rest of the apartment, their bedroom had a very clean, modern style, a cool icy blue on the walls that weren't windows and dark wood furnishings. Somewhere between the great room and here the hardwood flooring had shifted to a dark cherry that matched the furniture. The dark expanse was interrupted by a set of shaggy white rugs, one on each side of the generous Western style bed, a runner at the foot of the bed leading past it to the seating area that faced the terrace door, and another one tucked between couch and windows. He was pretty sure this one room was as big if not bigger than Hayato's entire apartment and Kana wasn't sure how to feel about that. “What do you think?” “I think ... I don't know what to think,” Kana admitted with a self-conscious chuckle. “So much space....” “But do you like it? And where do you want to make changes?” “Changes? Oh I don't know anything about that,” he said with a shake of his head. “I'm not a design person, I'm fine with whatever as long as it's with you.” Kana could already feel himself turning beet red at hearing those words coming out of his mouth. That was ... so cliche and over the top, he almost couldn't believe he had actually said it. And yet he couldn't deny the little thrill of warmth at the way Kouki laughed and hugged him tighter. “You're so cute,” he teased. “All right, all right, well if you think of anything, even if it's just a different color for the bedding, let me know, all right? Even if we switch the office, it's big enough we can share it, I think, so we can set your computer up in there?” “All I have is a laptop and I wouldn't want to be in the way,” he said with a slight shrug. “If I'm going to school and need to work on homework, I'd probably just use the library on campus or something anyway.” “I'm sure you wouldn't. Be in the way, that is. Although ... now that I'll have you home to distract me, I might not work so much, either,” Kouki said, chuckling again. “You ... you really think I'm that much of a distraction?” Kana mumbled, the happiness suddenly draining out of him. That was the last thing he wanted, to be a burden on his soulmate. “Only in the very best possible sense of the word, sweetheart,” the alpha countered, gently turning him around and tilting his chin up to meet his eyes. “I work too much, I always have. I know you've seen it. Having you here to make me stop that? That's a good thing. Yeah, working so much is how I got to where I am, but that doesn't make it healthy. Being a good alpha to you, that's way more important. Especially if you decide, if we decide we want to have a family some day.” Just like that, the warmth was back and rushing all through him again, heating his cheeks and making him try to duck his head. Only Kouki wasn't letting go of him, holding his chin up while brushing a soft kiss to his forehead. “The work's important, but you're important, too,” the alpha murmured. “More important, in fact. You are my soulmate, your happiness is more important than anything else, Kacchan.” His cheeks were on fire and he stepped closer, pressing his face into Kouki's warm chest as he bit his lip, trying to hold back the urge to cry. No one had ever said he came first like that, no one had ever made him such a priority. It was a little overwhelming. Fortunately, Kouki didn't press, didn't push, didn't even say anything at all as he held him, lightly rubbing his back. And for just one moment Kana wanted nothing more than to stay right there forever. He didn't need school or work or anything else as long as he had Kouki. “Thought about what you want for dinner?” Kouki asked after a long, lingering silence. “Pizza?” Kana asked hopefully as he reluctantly stepped away from his alpha's arms. He really was getting hungry again, but that was hardly any surprise. He was grateful to Kouki for the train ticket, it had made the trip a lot more palatable than the bus route he had researched on his own, but it was still four hours in transit. And since he hadn't wanted to spend any of his limited pocket money on train station food.... “I think that can be arranged, yes,” Kouki said, backing away towards the door. Kana glanced around his future bedroom again and smiled. “You know, if I hadn't brought two of my favorite shirts with me, I'd be tempted to just leave all my laundry here. One less suitcase worth of clothes to pack later.” “So leave everything you don't mind being without for three months. I'll even make sure it all gets washed before you come back. That door we skipped before is the utility and laundry room.” “Fancy,” Kana teased, following him back to the main room of the apartment. “You know, if you decide you want to be my housewife, you're going to have to learn how to take care of things around here,” Kouki teased. “Cooking, cleaning, laundry. And then there'll be the childcare. Making bottles and changing diapers and even more cooking and cleaning and laundry.” “What, you mean we aren't going to hire a maid, a cook, and a nanny so I can lay on the couch dramatically and eat bonbons all day?” “Absolutely not! No mate of mine is going to be that much of a lazy bum, I don't care how much money I'm making!” Kana tried to hold in a giggle, but it just wasn't possible. His alpha looked so genuinely offended by the thought of him being little more than a kept, pampered poodle, it was all but impossible not to laugh. Moving past him, he dropped onto the couch as he tried to contain his laughter. Something that would have been a lot easier if Kouki would stop giving him the confused puppy look, something that he still couldn't believe he was seeing on an alpha's face, of all things. “Kacchan....” “Sorry,” he managed to gasp after another few moments, waving a hand uselessly in front of his own face. “Sorry, just, your face. Sorry.” “... what?” “Sorry, doesn't ... thank you,” he managed after a bit more sputtering. “For what?” That confused puppy look still wasn't going away but Kana was slowly finding it a little easier to handle. The genuine confusion was almost sobering at this point. “For always supporting me,” he said, shrugging. “I mean, I don't even know what I want to do and you're still okay with me doing whatever I want, as long as it's something I choose. Pretty much any other male alpha would be telling me this or that, throwing his weight around because he's an alpha, like that giant overblown cock of his makes him automatically better than me. I don't know what I'd've done if my soulmate had been more like that. Or worse.” “Oh you push me hard enough, I'll be the bossiest, most obnoxiously alpha male you've ever seen,” Kouki countered, though his grin made it hard for Kana to take him completely seriously. “The universe has a sense of humor, but I have to believe it wouldn't've mated us if we weren't going to be able to figure it out, figure out what works for us.” “Hnn, not sure if you should be telling me that. Might make me feel the need to find those buttons,” Kana confessed, biting his lip. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy and appreciate, even crave the gentle affections Kouki had been giving him. But at the same time, he couldn't ignore the corner of him that was also craving something... more. Both a longing to feel completely safe and protected and a desire to feel completely claimed and dominated. Sometimes it scared him just how much he wanted it. Worse, what if he only thought he wanted it? What if he only wanted the romanticized version built up on TV and in movies and in his head, something that wasn't even close to reality? What if he took this fantasy of his to Kouki and the reality turned out to be something he didn't want, only he was stuck with it? What if –? “You know, if you ever hope to keep secrets from me, babe, you're going to have to learn how to hide what you're thinking better,” his alpha drawled, leaning over the back of the couch to brush fingers along his jaw. “Whatever it is you're afraid of, you can tell me, okay?” “It's no–,” but before he could even finish forming his protest, Kouki had a finger pressed to his lips. “I can smell your fear, Kacchan, don't tell me it's nothing. That scent is definitely not nothing. I'm ordering pizza and then we're going to talk about this, all right?” He wanted to argue, to insist it was nothing, that he was fine and they didn't need to talk about it. Except there wasn't much point. If Kouki could scent him out that easily.... arguing would be a waste of time. But that didn't mean he wanted to talk about it either. Instead he sat on the couch, knees pulled up to his chest, and tried hard to think of something he could say that wouldn't be so potentially disastrous. It wasn't going well. “Still trying to think of a way to convince me I'm wrong?” Kouki asked as he plopped down on the couch next to him, one arm resting on the back of the couch as he angled himself to face him. “Using your nose against me feels an awful lot like cheating,” Kana grumbled, stubbornly sticking to his corner with his knees up to his chest still. “Why? Because I recognize fear scent? And stress scents and desperation scents and nervous sweat and teenaged arousal?” “Wh-what? N-no, what? I wasn't –.” “Of course you were. Babe, you're eighteen and I'm gorgeous, if you weren't popping boners around me at least once in awhile, I'd be offended.” “KOUKI!!!” The blond was completely unrepentant, laughing easily before leaning in to cup Kana's cheek and brush a quick kiss to his lips. “With this level of squirming, I'm guessing this was more than just the usual teenaged daydream-inspired boner. So ... what? Something we were talking about got you to thinking about something you're embarrassed about finding arousing?” “I'd really rather not talk about this,” the omega mumbled, pressing his face into his knees. “That bad, hmm?” the blond alpha hummed, reaching over to run fingers through Kana's dark fringe. “So ... kinkier than the mundane of guy-on-guy, cock-in-ass sex?” If he didn't know better, Kana could have sworn he was on the verge of imploding from sheer embarrassment. “I'll take that as a yes. Ok, so, more or less fringe than being choked during sex?” Kana could only sit there sputtering, trying and failing to get his brain to figure out where Kouki could have even come up with that. The blond studied him with a thoughtful frown for what felt like forever before shaking his head a little. “I'm neither magical nor telepathic, Kacchan,” the alpha teased gently. “You're going to have to use actual words or else I'm just going to have to keep randomly guessing kinks until I either miraculously hit the right one or you explode. And at the moment, the latter is looking a little too likely, which I'd prefer to skip, so....” “How... what... I....” Okay, so he wasn't making much progress getting over his sputtering discomfort with this entire line of conversation. A tiny rational voice at the back of his head insisted he was being ridiculous, and it was probably right, but it was hard to just set aside and ignore a lifetime of being told that this wasn't something one discussed casually while waiting for pizza delivery. “Breath play is incredibly intimate and for some people it can really enhance the moment,” the blond said with a casual shrug. “I won't be offended if it's not your cup of tea.” “Wait...are you saying...?” “No, an ex from college,” he said with a slight shake of his head. “She swore it made things more intense, but I was always worried I was going to hurt her. I've never felt a need to experience it myself.” Kana felt ... awkward, hearing even this little about his soulmate's previous partners. Meeting one's soulmate was never promised in this life and at thirty- six it would be foolish to think a powerful alpha like Kouki would have been saving himself for his own absent soulmate. But knowing all the logic didn't make it any better. “Kana, you have ... had sex before, right?” The question was so direct, it was probably a miracle that the shy little omega didn't combust right on the spot. Of course Kouki had the right to know the truth, if he hadn't already pieced it together for himself just from Kana's reactions, but to actually say the words was almost too mortifying. He was eighteen and an omega, who could possibly believe he was still a virgin? “I, um, well ... not ... not exactly?” “Not exactly? What does that mean?” his alpha asked with another, more serious frown. “No, wait, never mind, that was a stupid question when you've already told me I'm your first boyfriend.” “But that doesn't mean that I'm ... well, I mean I am, but you don't have to say it like that!” Kana sputtered. Wait, why was he even protesting like this?? And now Kouki had that confused puppy look on his face again and Kana felt like an idiot. “Like what? Baby, it was a stupid question and it was even more stupid of me to ask it the way I did, I'm sorry.” “I ... what?” Why was Kouki apologizing? Alphas didn't apologize, not to omegas certainly! “The way I said it ... there's nothing wrong with you being a virgin, Kacchan. What you do with your body is your business, you don't owe me anything, okay?” “I....” He had to be hearing that wrong. Kouki was an alpha, Kana was his soulmated omega. Maybe he didn't owe the man his virginity, but he owed him a lot. All his life, the message had been drilled into him again and again: as an omega, if and when he was claimed by an alpha, he would belong to that alpha completely. And maybe a “good” alpha would ask for his input, but at the end of the day he wasn't really much more than property. Sure, society was happy to give him some trappings of independence - he could go to school, try to get a job - but sooner or later he would be reduced to what was expected of him as an omega. It wasn't fair, not even close, but it was what it was. And now that he had found his soulmate, what he was boiled down to him being a pre-mated omega, essentially Kouki's property to do with as he pleased. So far his alpha had been willing to treat him more like an equal, but.... “Kana....” the alpha caught his chin, tilting it up to meet his eyes. “I don't care what anyone else says or what roles society says we have to play when we're out in public. You are my mate and as far as I'm concerned, that makes us equals in everything, especially here at home. You don't owe me anything, and when it comes to your body, we do everything at your pace and on your terms. Everything, whether that means something as little as a hairstyle or as big as when or even if we have children.” “I-if we have...?” “Yes, if. But that's a conversation for another time, okay? When we're settled and ready to be parents. And if that's not for months or years from now or even never, I'm okay with that, okay?” One minute Kana could feel himself trembling, the next he was flinging himself across the couch to press tight to Kouki's chest, ignoring the soft ooph as he knocked the man backwards. A beat and then Kouki was settling his arms around the omega clinging to him, humming softly and rubbing his back. “Never and nothing without your full, informed consent, Kacchan,” Kouki murmured, brushing a kiss against his tousled hair. “And you can always say no at any time, to anything, for any reason. Or even no reason at all, if it's not what you want anymore. The only thing I ask is that you always be open and honest with me, okay?” Maybe it was stupid to be getting so emotional over just some words. It was almost definitely ridiculous to get seething mad when a doorbell rang a moment later. Or maybe that was the hunger getting the better of him. “Pretty sure that's dinner, babe,” the blond said, brushing another kiss to his forehead before slipping out from under him. Kana had never resented a pizza so much in his life. Pulling himself back into his corner of the couch, he squeezed his eyes shut and forced himself to focus on his breathing. Maybe with this sidetrack and now the interruption of pizza, Kouki wouldn't notice that he had never actually said what had disturbed him earlier. ~*~*~ Kouki noticed a lot more than most people were willing to give him credit. Like the way Kana had slipped out of admitting much of anything. He had some ideas, of course, but assumptions were dangerous. Especially when it came to his soulmate. Even more especially when that soulmate was a teenaged omega conditioned to think of himself as less than equal simply because he was omega. So he waited, enjoying the simple pleasure of sharing a meal with his young mate, planning how they would spend the week together. Christmas Eve wasn't for another three days and, much to Kana's obvious disappointment, Kouki still had to work most of the time his soulmate would be visiting Tokyo. They had both known that from the start, though it didn't take much effort on Kouki's part to see that Kana had been hoping things would go differently. A little encouragement and he managed to talk the younger man into exploring the city on his own while he was at work. And then dinner was over and even though he had the weekend off, he could tell it had been a long day for his soulmate. “Come on, grab your bag and lets get you into bed, mmkay?” He held back a laugh at the way Kana flushed bright red at his comment; the teen really was so innocent sometimes. Most of the time, really. Brushing a brief kiss to the omega's cheek, he scooped up the empty pizza box and started cleaning up from dinner. Kana hesitated (cutely) for a moment before fetching his bag and heading for the bedroom. Kouki lingered a little longer, making sure everything was settled, before following his soulmate. To his surprise, Kana was standing at the terrace windows, almost nose to the glass, staring out into the winter night. Walking over to him, he brushed his hand against Kana's back to catch his attention. “See something interesting?” “I thought ... I thought I saw something moving on the terrace. But I guess that's pretty silly, right?” “Probably just the wind, or maybe a crow. Or both. Come on, step back. You're in the way.” “In the way?” Kana parroted, stepping back with him but not without also giving him an odd look. Rather than answering verbally, Kouki moved back over to the night stand on his side of the bed. A touch of a button and vertical blinds steadily marched across the glass, shielding them from view and the sunrise that would come in the morning. Kana stepped back again, obviously stunned and Kouki had to smile. “Should've done that earlier, but I wanted you to see the view,” he said as he started undressing. Inasmuch as they had already shared a bed together, he hadn't expected the startled squeak from the omega. Or to turn back around and see the teen covering his face with both hands. “Kacchan? What is it?” “You ... you're.... Right here!” “Yes, I'm right here,” he said, frowning a little as he walked around the end of the bed to approach his soulmate again. “Kacchan, are you feeling all right?” he asked as he gently pulled the teen's hands away from his face. Kana was blushing harder than Kouki thought he had ever seen, it was almost impressive. And just a bit concerning. “You ... I mean, I ... I ... you didn't ... are we ... I ... oh god, I'm sorry,” Kana stammered, eventually stumbling to a halt. The young omega stepped in close, pressing his face into Kouki's chest, and while he certainly appreciated the closeness, the alpha couldn't help worrying about why it was happening. “For the record, I have no idea what's wrong right now, baby.” “I-it's not ... I just didn't think.... I ... I should go shower,” the omega mumbled, stumbling when he stepped away again. “All right, well, if you need help finding anything, just ask, okay?” Kouki watched Kana retreat into the master bath with another frown, unable to not notice the way the teen wasn't looking at him directly. His soulmate's shyness was something he had noticed from the start, but sometimes it still managed to catch him by surprise just how shy the teen was. Such a difference from his own memories of high school. Granted, as a male alpha, Kouki had attended an all-alpha high school himself, that probably had something to do with it. Shyness was a rare trait indeed in alphas, especially during puberty; nothing quite like having an alpha female in heat after you to chase the shyness right out of a guy. Or at least it had been that way for him. He smiled a little at the memories, though he sobered quickly enough at the unintended reminder that his own mate had no such experiences behind him. A soft sigh to himself and he finished undressing, pulling on a pair of sleep pants for the sake of his omega's comfort. Kouki was leaned against the headboard with a book when Kana finally returned from his shower, smelling like lavender and tea tree. And eager omega. Yeah, he recognized that trick, mentally tsking and shaking his head. Kana was trying too hard. Fortunately, Kouki had better control of himself than to fall for such a transparent move, especially when he didn't really believe Kana was there yet on his own. “Better?” he asked softly, marking his place before closing the book. “Yeah,” the teen said, shyly climbing into the other side of the bed. “Something happen to your tablet?” “Hmm? Oh, no, it's fine, I just don't use it this close to going to bed,” he said, shrugging. “Besides, there's something comforting about holding a book in my hands.” “Can't imagine that,” Kana mumbled, scooting down the bed a bit. “Every time I hold a book right now, it's for school. Not exactly relaxing.” “It's different when you're able to read for your own enjoyment,” Kouki replied, turning off the light before moving to settle beside Kana. A beat and then the omega was wiggling into his arms, resting his head on his chest. Such an innocently sweet gesture, he didn't want to ruin it with conversation that would make Kana uncomfortable again. Well, there would be other chances to talk. They had the whole week ahead of them still, he would make sure they talked more. About everything. ~*~*~ Kana had expected that taking the Friday afternoon train to Tokyo would give him the weekend before he was left to his own devices while his alpha worked. It shouldn't have been too much to expect, it was the weekend before Christmas after all. He knew Kouki had a bad habit of working on weekends, but he was in town as a special treat. Surely Kouki wouldn't work all through Kana's winter vacation? Waking up to an empty bed, he told himself that it didn't mean anything. Kouki was the thoughtful kind of guy who would have gone to another room if he had woken up too early to be polite. Except both the office and the great room were also empty. Tugging the throw around himself more firmly, he shuffled into the kitchen. The coffee pot sat waiting for him, the morning's fresh brewed coffee still warm within the carafe and a note leaned against it. Sorry baby, the note read. Something came up at work, I have to handle it. I promise to be home by 16:00, so think about what you want to do for dinner. There's fresh rice in the cooker and coffee in the maker, both should even still be warm if you don't sleep too late. Help yourself to anything you like. Love you Kacchan~ Sighing heavily, Kana stood in the kitchen staring at the note for several long minutes before putting it down again. The temptation to crumple it in frustration was too strong and he retreated to the bedroom to get changed into proper clothes. Whatever it was that had happened at the office, it had better have been a matter of life and death, or he was really going to be angry with Kouki when he got home. Settling at the breakfast bar with bowls of tamago kake gohan and miso, a mug of coffee with lots of cream and sugar, and the piece of grilled saba Kouki had obviously left behind as a surprise for him, he glowered at his phone, as if it were responsible for the fact that he had no idea what to do with himself now. He could call Chamu, except he was pretty sure that wouldn't go well. At best, the beta would feel compelled to tease him about the fact that he hadn't even been gone a day and he was already calling him. Worse, it could throw fuel on the embers of Chamu's distrust of Kouki, and that was the last thing he wanted. He had promised Kouki that he would do more than stay home on the alpha's couch the whole week, but the thought of exploring Tokyo on his own was a little intimidating. Other than just mindlessly walking around Kouki's neighborhood to get a feel for the area, he wasn't sure what to do. He had checked out a number of Tokyo universities and colleges online, but none of them would be open during the winter break, so trying to visit any of them would be a little pointless. And he still hadn't decided to which of them, if any, he should be applying. A part of Kana almost wanted to register for the Todai entrance exam just so he could fail it and have a year off before he had to try again. If he hadn't already told Chamu and Kouki both that he didn't think he could pass it.... Chamu was pushing him to apply to Tokyo University of the Arts, but Kana wasn't so sure. Drawing was something he did for fun, he wasn't sure trying to make a career out of it was such a good idea. What if taking courses ruined what he liked about art? On the other hand, graphic design courses were bound to be more fun than studying history or economics and it would be one way of placating Chamu and Kouki (mostly Chamu). But it didn't help him decide what to do with himself until then. Finished with breakfast, he took his coffee out to the great room, walking over to the terrace windows to stare out at the chill morning. Not that there was much to see from there, just Kouki's terrace, a couple glimpses of buildings across the street. A part of him wondered what it would be like in the spring, how private it was. What it would be like to sit out there in the late evening with Kouki, watching the setting of a summer sun. What it would be like to do more than just sit out there together. Almost as soon as the thought popped into his head, Kana could feel himself turning beet red. He still had a few weeks until his next heat hit, so why was everything making him think of sex lately? He had been so sure that Kouki would try something last night, especially when his alpha had started undressing right there in the bedroom, and then ... nothing. He'd even showered and everything! And all Kouki had done was hold him close and kiss his hair. It couldn't be that Kouki wasn't interested in him, right? They hadn't had a chance to do much more than steal a few kisses the one weekend they'd had together, especially since Chamu had hung around for most of it. But Kouki had said things, told Kana that he wanted him that weekend, just not in his parents' house. So why, now that they were finally alone together, had he not made his move? Kana had even used the special body wash that was supposed to enhance his scent, increase a partner's interest. At least that's what the website had claimed. Sometimes only having two real friends, neither whom were omega, was a real drag. Maybe Kouki was right, maybe going to college was what he needed. He certainly wasn't going to make any more friends sitting on his alpha's couch all day. “Right, well, no time like the present, right?” he mumbled to himself. If nothing else, he could stop at a grocery store and pick up a couple of his favorite snacks. It wasn't much of a plan, but it was better than feeling sorry for himself and wasting the day watching television. Chapter End Notes ok, so a couple biology things: 1. In the biology of this A/B/O-verse, an alpha/omega m/m pair having anal sex is indeed viewed as a bit kinky. Basically, omegas have a genetic defect that, among other things, results in omega males having both male and female sexual organs, so it's not really any more kinky than m/f anal sex in our world, but for our poor innocent baby Kana, welllll.... XD [And yes, this means alpha females also have similar anatomy, just alpha sized. ;)] 2. A/B/O kinda flies in the face of Occam's Razor from the start, but for this verse, there is one female reproductive cycle shared across A/B/O lines, so yes, alpha and beta females also go into heats, they're just different, with beta heats being the least intense. Puberty is a wild ride for alphas. Also, unless I pull off some sort of miracle today, it looks like I'm going to have to pause this for a week. I've been having issues with my muses and now need to rework an entire plot thread that means backing up into chapter 6. Since I pre-release my fiction on my Patreon a week ahead of releasing it to the public, this means I've effectively caught up with myself and if I can't pre-release chapter 6 today, I'll have to push the schedule back a week. But after three days of banging my head against the same wall, it's better if I rewind things and shove the plot onto a different track, so... ***** Fate ***** Chapter Notes The scene in italics is a flashback. And no, I'm not the least bit sorry for what I've done. ww I needed a family name for Kana so I picked one out of a list, there's nothing to point to this being at all accurate to the real world. :p See the end of the chapter for more notes Everything hurt, he could smell blood and diesel fumes and burning. What ... what had happened? Voices everywhere, none of them familiar. Betas fluttered around him, shouting at each other. And an alpha, no two alphas, arguing about ... something. No, three alphas, but they were too far away and the betas shouting medical jargon all around him were keeping him from making sense of the other voices. And everything hurt. Everything hurt so bad he could hardly catch a breath. Kouki. He needed Kouki. He needed his phone.... “It's gonna be all right, kiddo, just hang in there. We've got ya, you're gonna be okay.” ~*~*~ It had started out simply enough. After spending most of the morning dithering, Kana had finally forced himself to grab the key Kouki had left behind for him and go for a walk. He had only intended to go a few blocks in each direction, just enough to get a feel for the type of neighborhood he would be calling home in a few months. Find the train station, a couple combini, maybe a green grocer, a bank, a Starbucks. The usual staples of city living. He had found the Starbucks first and quickly decided that he was allowed to treat himself, especially since that was exactly why he had brought pocket money with him in the first place. ~*~*~ Like most places, the café was full of betas, but by some cosmic luck, the barista who took his order was the solitary omega on the shift. Kana wanted to strike up a conversation, but they were busy and it wasn't really allowed anyway, right? Still, he lingered over his drink, trying to pretend he was working on something on his phone as his excuse for not drinking more quickly and getting on with his day. And then Chamu started texting him and he really did get engrossed in his phone, not noticing how much time was passing as he sent his best friend one picture after another of the apartment while trying not to gush too much. Before he knew it, an hour had passed and he still hadn't actually finished his peppermint mocha. “This seat taken?” Kana startled and looked up, even more surprised to see the omega barista standing there next to his table. “Oh, um, no, it's fine. Please, have a seat.” “You must be new to the neighborhood,” the other omega said, absently tucking strawberry blond hair behind one ear. “Um, sort of? Just visiting my boyfriend this week but I'll be moving into his place this spring. Do... do you live around here then?” “With my parents, a few streets over,” he said with a nod. “I'm Hikaru, by the way.” “Oh, um, Kana, it's a pleasure to meet you.” He had thought the other omega was older than him, but if he was still living at home, maybe not? Or at least not as much older as he had been thinking. “So, your boyfriend ... not an alpha?” “Huh? Oh, um, no, he is. He's my soulmate, actually, he just doesn't want us to take that step until I'm out of high school at least.” “Ooohhhh, lucky you,” Hikaru said with obvious envy. “Man, my soulmate ... disappointing as hell. Took one look at me and wow, I'd never been around someone so disgusted with something in my life. One look, one derogatory comment about fucking faggots and yeah, I haven't seen him since. Haven't looked, either,” the omega confessed with a shudder. “I'm not even gay! And now ... I don't know, the world just feels ... off.” “Oh, um, I'm sorry,” he mumbled, not sure what else to say. “It sucks cuz even when I meet a nice alpha.... ah, you don't want to hear about this depressing stuff, right? Sorry, don't worry about it. That selfish bastard'll probably drink himself to death soon anyway. Ah, are you moving here for college? Here, finish up your drink and I'll show you the neighborhood.” “Oh, you... you don't have to do that. I mean... I'm sure you have better things to do....” “There are only, like, five other omegas our age in this neighborhood, we've got to stick together, right?” “Well ... ok ... yeah ... yeah, you're right,” Kana said, nodding. “All right then, come on, finish up and let's go. I know this great little noodle shop, you have to see it to believe it. And the good pharmacy with the pharmacist who actually gives a fuck about doing his job right.” “There's more than one pharmacy around here?” “ ... you must be from a really small town or something,” his new friend teased, grinning. “Yeah, but the other pharmacist is a beta bigot, you don't want to deal with him, trust me.” Kana nodded, quickly finishing off his mocha. Guess being brave had been the right choice after all. ~*~*~ Kouki had felt it immediately, a sharp tug on his soul that told him his mate was in trouble. And then the alerts had started coming in, a terrorist attack on a restaurant a few blocks from his building. Five dead, fifteen injured. Eight dead, twenty injured. The counts kept changing as he rushed out of the office, trying desperately to figure out where his soulmate had been taken. In the almost four months since meeting Kana, Kouki hadn't once regretted his choice not to bite his omega. Not once. Until now. The soulmate bond was enough to guide him in the right direction, find the right hospital, but that was all it could do. “Kou-kun, look, I'm sorry, man. If it was up to me ... but it isn't. Hospital policy is clear.” “Mitsuki... Sensei ... please, he's my soulmate, he's going to need me.” “Right now, he's not even awake, I doubt he even realizes what's happened.” “All the more reason for me to be there, at his side. His parents missed the only flights to Tokyo, they had to take the train and you know how long it takes to get from one coast to the other.” “You aren't his legal mate, Kou-kun,” the doctor insisted, shaking his head. The man looked exhausted, which wasn't really a surprise, considering he had just finished four hours of delicate surgery, removing shrapnel and repairing damage to Kana's bowels. Kouki doubted he looked all that much better himself, having spent the last four hours being denied any information about his soulmate, other than that he was alive. Seeing Mitsuki had been both a moment of hope and a moment of utter dread. “You know, he's probably not even going to come out of the anesthetic for another couple of hours. I've already told you more than I should have, go ... get a cup of coffee and a bento in the cafeteria. Stay off this floor, at least until his parents get here to vouch for you or my boss goes home, okay?” “Mitsuki!” “I mean it, Kouki. I'll be keeping an eye on him myself and I'll have one of the omega nurses sit with him until he wakes, I promise. We can handle this, but you need to let us. You keep in touch with his parents and if something changes, I'll handle it, okay?” It wasn't what he wanted to hear, but his high school friend had that look on his face. Wanted to hear or not, it was what it was. Huffing a sigh of defeat, he nodded and let himself be directed to the hospital cafeteria. He was just going to have to wait. ~*~*~ Someone was humming. Kana wasn't sure if it was that or the pain in his gut that woke him. Or the dry cotton ball feeling of his mouth. His eyes were gummy and his arms were too heavy to move. He tried to groan but it was more of a dry rasp. The humming stopped, an omega suddenly leaning over him. “Kana-kun?” As if that voice were somehow a trigger, everything from his chest down to his groin started sending him overwhelming pain messages at once. He tried to curl up into a little ball, but his body didn't want to listen to him. A beep, a click, a mechanical hiss, another beep. “Easy, sweetie, it's okay, it's gonna be okay now. Doctor insisted you come out of the anesthetics before we gave you any more painkillers, but you should be feeling better now, ne?” She was right, he could feel the pain melting away under a drowsy haze. It was almost enough for him to fall back to sleep, except... Fire. There'd been fire and pain before the blackness. He struggled to sit up, only getting there with her help. She was younger than he had been expecting, perhaps early twenties, with raven-black hair and kind eyes. The heavy smell of hospital was getting in the way of much else, but she seemed to genuinely want to help him. “Ah, welcome back to us, Kana-kun. I'm Doctor Sakai and this is Nurse Sawa, how are y– ... nurse, I did ask you to wait on medicating him, did I not?” “Um, yes, sensei, but he was in too much distress....” “It's all right,” the doctor said, a flare of alpha scent hitting Kana like a punch in the gut. “Kou-... ki...,” he rasped, struggling to look around him, to catch even a hint of his alpha's presence. “Shh, it's okay, relax,” the doctor said, though it was the nurse that was resting a hand on his shoulder, keeping him from trying to move. “He's downstairs, waiting for your parents. Intensive Care is for family only, but if I think you're stable enough, I'll move you up to post-op and he can see you there.” Kana forced himself to take a deep breath, which still managed to hurt more than he thought it should have, considering he was on morphine now. He wasn't sure what all those words meant, but if he got to see Kouki soon, he would deal with the loneliness until then. By the time the doctor was done assessing him, Kana could barely keep his eyes open. “I'm going to keep you right here for a couple more hours, just to be safe, all right? But then we should be able to move you upstairs. Nurse Sawa here will keep you company if you like. I'll go see what the word is on your parents, okay?” He thought he said something, but he wasn't sure. Maybe if he slept now, when he woke up again Kouki would be there at his side. Now that was a nice thought.... ~*~*~ The room was too quiet, the machines seeming that much louder in the absence of any conversation. Until Kana woke again, there wasn't much to say. Kana's father had gone back downstairs to have another cigarette while they waited for the teenager to wake on his own. A part of Kouki wanted to shake his shoulder, do something, anything to wake his mate, but he resisted. It was just sleep and even if it was drug-aided sleep, Kana's body needed the rest. But it was hard when Kouki's instincts wanted, needed to talk to his mate, to be able to reassure himself that Kana really was okay. The alpha looked up when the door opened again, but it was only the nurse, back again to check on Kana's readings no doubt. She was a sweet woman, happy to work around them rather than making them move, and Kouki appreciated the consideration. That she was an older mated omega probably also helped, though he didn't have the nerve to ask what it was in her own past that let her sympathize with him so much. “All right, you,” she whispered a moment later, surprising Kouki by actually shaking Kana's shoulder. “Sakai-sensei went home for the night, you can stop faking. Honestly, if I was you, at the very least, I'd want my mate to be holding me. And don't even think it, blondie. Alpha mate or no alpha mate, this bed is single occupancy and it's going to stay that way.” “But it –,” Kouki started, his words stopping abruptly when Kana groaned and tried to roll over onto his side. He wasn't sure which hurt more, that his soulmate had been avoiding him or that he'd just tried to roll away from him. He wanted to think that second thing hadn't been a conscious choice, but the voice of doubt in him wouldn't be silent. “Kacchan....” Another whimper. Frowning now, Kouki scooted his chair even closer to Kana's bed. He started to grab his hand, then changed his mind, especially when he saw Kana's mother moving closer to him as well. Not that he even knew where to start anyway. A little surprised that Mitsuki had gone home without coming in to check on them one last time, but then again, with Kana supposedly asleep, maybe the surgeon hadn't thought it necessary? “Hey sweetheart,” Kana's mother said softly, brushing long fringe away from his face. “We were worried about you.” “M-mom? H-how....” “We came as soon as we heard what'd happened, of course,” she explained, smiling and squeezing his hand. Kana whimpered again, trying to curl up into a ball. The level of misery scent was almost choking and Kouki wasn't surprised when the omega nurse hurried to excuse herself. “Anou, Kobayashi-kaasan,” he said softly, “could you give us a minute or two? Kacchan and I really ... need a moment.” Kana's mother cast obviously confused glances between him and her son a few times before she nodded. Kouki silently thanked the gods that, while he knew she didn't understand it, she was willing to give them a moment alone. He waited for the door to click shut before getting up from the chair and pulling Kana back over onto his back. “Don't you dare think you can push me away because you're afraid you might have lost something we haven't even agreed to yet, Kobayashi Kana!” he snarled, not caring if this aggression might or might not be helpful right then. He was angry and hurt and he was completely certain that anything less wasn't going to cut through the self-loathing that was hanging so heavily he could practically taste it. “I talked to your surgeon myself, he's been one of my best friends since grade school, he wouldn't play games with me on this. There's a chance, a chance, that one of your ovaries was damaged, but only that. If it happened, it means it might be harder for you to conceive, but not impossible. If it happened, if the time comes and we're having problems, we'll see a specialist. But I am not going to let you push me away because you were a victim of a terror attack, you hear me?” The tears that welled up in Kana's eyes were like a knife in the gut. Mindful of both the young omega's injuries and the IV line, Kouki gently lifted his soulmate into his arms and hugged him close. At first the misery scent got even worse, clawing at his protective instincts, but slowly, as he kept holding his soulmate and trying to project calm onto him, the misery started to ease, replaced with wracking sobs. Those heartbreaking sounds weren't really helping his protective instincts, but he clamped down on them and stuck it out, holding Kana tightly and just letting him cling and cry. “We'll get through this, baby,” he murmured when the worst of the sobbing finally passed into soft sniffles and hiccups, simultaneously ignoring the sound of the door opening behind him and hoping it wasn't someone who was going to yell at him for holding Kana in his lap instead of leaving him lying in bed. “We're soulmates, Kacchan, that means we're a team. I'm not gonna give up on you, so you don't get to give up on you, either, you hear me?” Kana's nod and mumble of assent weren't terribly stable, but the fear, panic, and self-loathing were fading out of his scent at least. Kouki pressed another gentle kiss to his temple before finally looking back to see who had walked in on them. Perhaps he shouldn't have been surprised to see Kana's parents standing there, but he was. “You know, when we were on the train, I told your father that getting a hotel room would be a waste of time because how could I possibly rest while my baby's in the hospital,” Kana's mother said quietly. “Now I think I was wrong.” “I had my doubts about you, Kouki-san, but you have shown your true character just now. You are welcome in our family,” Kana's father added. Kouki felt just a little bit overwhelmed. Before he could formulate a response, however, there was a knock on the door, a familiar tousled head poking in. “Kou-kun? Hospital staff's about to chase me out of here, anything I can bring you in the morning? You're staying the night, right?” “Minase-kun. I thought I sent you home already,” Kouki said, frowning slightly at his long time friend. On the other hand, Minase still being there could be a good thing. Turning back to Kana's parents, he asked: “If you don't want to stay here tonight, then please, let Minase-kun take you to my apartment. Just let him know when and he can even pick you up again to bring you back here in the morning.” “We don't want to be any trouble....” “It's no trouble,” Minase said before Kouki could. “I need to drop something there tonight and if Kou-kun's staying the night, he's going to want his coffee in the morning, so it's really no trouble at all.” “It's silly to get a hotel room when I have a guest room,” Kouki added. Kana's parents both looked skeptical for another moment before his mother moved to Kana's bedside. “Kacchan? What do you want?” “I... I'll be okay. I know you and Dad need your rest,” Kana said, sniffling a little. “I mean, I'm probably just going to sleep all night anyway, there's no point in you staying. Kouki won't leave me, you know, so it's fine, I'll be fine.” Well that was true enough and Kouki couldn't help smiling a little at hearing Kana say it. “All right, honey, if you're sure. Thank you, Kouki-san, Minase-san.” Kouki walked Kana's parents to the door, wishing them a good night and inviting them to help themselves to anything they needed from his place. He wasn't sure if they actually would, but he could hope. ~*~*~ “I want to take him home.” “Kou-kun, try to be reasonable,” Mitsuki said with a sigh. “He was blown up yesterday, you can't just expect him to be okay after one night in the hospital.” “How is he supposed to get better when you have nurses coming in every hour or two to check on him?” “Kou-kun, you have to give us more time. He had a major surgery yesterday, a little caution is only prudent.” Kouki huffed a sigh, but arguing obviously wasn't going to get him anywhere. Mitsuki could be such an annoyingly stubborn alpha sometimes. Which was probably a useful trait in a surgeon, but right that minute it was just frustrating. “I'm still waiting on test results, I haven't even finished my morning rounds yet. But until he starts passing gas, there's no point in even discussing it.” “Mitsuki....” “I get it, I do, Kou. It's your first Christmas together, you want everything to be perfect. And if I could just wave my magic wand, I would, you know that.” Well, Kouki couldn't very well argue with that. He knew his friend, knew Mitsuki was trying to be sympathetic. The doctor was doing his best, he couldn't ask for more from the man. It was still frustrating, though, not being able to give Kana the kind of Christmas he had intended. “I know you want to take him home,” Mitsuki said, briefly reaching out to squeeze his shoulder, “but if he still isn't passing gas by this evening, I think the two of you should start getting used to the possibility that you may have to have your first Christmas here, instead. I know it's not very romantic, but his health is more important than your ego and I know you know that.” “I promised him I'd take care of him, Mitsuki. I promised him he'd be safe,” Kouki huffed, sinking down into one of the chairs set in the hall for just these sorts of talks between doctors and families. Mitsuki sat down next to him, this time taking his hand. “Hey now, stop that. This wasn't your fault, he knows that. There's no use in beating yourself up over this.” “Logically, I know that, but.... And what am I supposed to do with the bucket of chicken and the Christmas cake I ordered for us?” “Hope and pray there's no reason for the two of you to still be here?” Mitsuki suggested with one of his signature grins. “He was under for quite awhile, Kou, it takes the body time to recover from that. He's young, that should help, but there's not a lot else we can do but wait and see. And I'm going to send in a physical therapist, probably some time after lunch. I'm sure he doesn't feel up for it, but getting him moving, even if it's just a little bit, will help his system push off the remaining effects from the anaesthetic.” Kouki nodded as he listened; Mitsuki was right, Kana wasn't going to want to do anything but lay in bed. Which meant he was probably going to have to think of some sort of bribe to get him to cooperate with the physical therapist. “Ah! No cheating on his dietary restrictions, Kou!” “Eh? I ... I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about!” he protested. His friend laughed, clapping his shoulder as he stood up again. “Sure you don't. Just like I'm sure he doesn't have a sweet tooth at all, right? Trust me, Kou, he won't thank you later if you sneak him cake now. Stick with the diet and you can pamper him extra after we release him.” “You always were good at sucking the fun out of everything, sensei,” he teased, shaking his head. “Yeah, yeah. Let me go finish my rounds, check on that other omega, and I'll be in after a bit to let your Kana-kun know how his friend is doing.” Kouki nodded again, equal parts surprised and pleased that his omega had made another friend so quickly. He just hoped that friend was also recovering well or Kana really would be devastated. ~*~*~ Kana groaned as the door opened again, bringing with it a fresh wave of hospital smells and his doctor's scent. Nurses had been in and out all day and from what Kouki had told him, if not for the medications he was on, they would have kept him awake all night, too. Doctor Sakai had already been in once to check on him, what more did he want? Unless he was here to tell him he could go home - well, go back to Kouki's place at any rate - he didn't want to hear it. “Already trying to shut me out? And I even brought you a surprise....” He frowned a moment, but then he caught it, the scent of another omega. Rolling over, he blinked up in surprise. “Hi-... Hikaru-san?” “The doctors around here are threatening to discharge me, I thought I should come in and see how you're doing first. And thank you for saving my life.” “I just ... did what anyone else would have done,” Kana mumbled, blushing hard. “Maybe. Maybe not,” the omega said, shrugging lightly. “Either way, you did it and I'm still here because of that, so thank you.” Kana really didn't know what to say to that, mumbling a sort of reflexive “you're welcome,” and fiddling with the blanket drawn over his lap. “You know, you look like crap,” Hikaru said, plopping himself down on the bottom of Kana's bed and grinning widely. “Better than you did the last time I saw you, though. A lot better. I was sure I was going to come up here and find you in a coma or something. So ... gonna introduce me?” “Eh? Oh, um, right. That's my mom and dad, my best friend Chamu, and this is my soulmate, Kouki,” he said, indicating each in turn. Hikaru smiled brightly for each, though his grin turned almost cunning when it landed on Kouki. “Feel like I shoulda known it'd be you. Double shot honey vanilla caramel latte, twice a week. I never forget a regular,” the omega said with a light laugh. “I know that feeling,” Kouki said, laughing as well. “Kacchan mentioned meeting someone in a coffee shop, I really should've figured it was you, Hikachu.” “Nah, it's nothing. I mean, it's not like Starbucks is the only coffee shop around there and it was a different building completely that they blew up. I mean, unless he told you he met me working at the coffee shop, then yeah, yeah you totally should've put it together even if he was too loopy on his meds to remember my name at the time,” Hikaru replied, an impish grin on his face. “Brat,” Kouki mock-grumbled, feigning a boxing of his ear. Hikaru laughed as he ducked away, ending up sprawled across Kana's knees and calves. A little hum and then he was chuckling again. “God, you two even smell the same, I can't believe I didn't notice that before!” the omega said as he rolled over onto his back, still draped over Kana's legs. “Dammit. I'm so jealous now. Kana-kun better come in every morning before school when he moves up here! Up here? Down here? Which is it anyway?” Kana couldn't hold in a flinch at that; they hadn't actually gotten that far with his parents yet, since he had wanted to tell them with Kouki at his side and, well, convincing them to let him spend Christmas with his soulmate had been hard enough. Putting it off might not have been the best idea either, but it was too late to change it now. “Hikachu, remind me to never tell you an actually vitally important secret,” Kouki said with a sigh. “That was a secret? Oh shit, Kacchan,” Hikaru said, popping up off the bed with a contrite look on his face. “I'm sorry, sweetie, I had no idea, oh god.” “It ... it's okay,” Kana mumbled, “but, um, I think you and Chamu-kun should probably go for a bit....” Hikaru nodded, leaning in for a quick kiss to Kana's cheek before grabbing Chamu's sleeve and practically dragging the startled young beta out of the room. “I'm sure the two of you were going to tell us about this plan of yours soon, right?” his mother said and Kana could hear the hurt and betrayal in her voice. Which was exactly what he had been fearing, why he hadn't told her sooner. A part of him wanted to be angry, to ask her just what she thought was going to happen now that he had met his soulmate. She couldn't possibly be expecting him to just stay in Fukui when his mate had a powerful job, a whole life in Tokyo that he couldn't, shouldn't, and wouldn't just drop. But a bigger part of him was just sad that she was reacting like this. He was eighteen now, he couldn't be her baby forever. “Mom....” “Don't 'mom' me, Kana! And you! You think you can just come into his life and sweep him away like some fairytale prince?! This isn't a manga!” “No, if my life was a manga, you two would actually be happy for me!” Kana snapped back before his mate could form a response. “If this was a manga, Kouki would have swept me off my feet that first day we met and I wouldn't even be thinking about finishing high school. If this was a manga, he and I would be having the perfect romantic Christmas in his beautiful apartment, as bonded mates, instead of worrying we're going to still be here at the hospital.” “Kacchan,” Kouki said softly, squeezing his hand even though his voice and his scent both held warning tones. He wasn't sure what Kouki was trying to warn him from and he didn't really care at the moment. It was like some sort of floodgate had opened within him, he couldn't have stopped himself if he had tried. “If this was a manga, I wouldn't have been practically blown up for no reason other than being in the wrong place at the wrong time. If this was a manga, I wouldn't be laying here in a hospital bed worried that I might not ever be able to have children or trying to convince my own stupid brain that my mate isn't going to leave me if I can't! If this was a manga....” He was pretty sure he'd had more to say, but his voice caught in his throat. Kana squeezed his eyes shut, but it wasn't enough to stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks. And then Kouki's scent hit him again, stronger than before, as the alpha sat on the bed beside him and pulled him into a gentle hug. “Kacchan, that's enough,” Kouki murmured, kissing his forehead. He wasn't so sure it was, but inasmuch as he couldn't get any more words to come out of him anyway.... “Kobayashi-kaasan, I know you love Kana with all your heart. You and your husband have raised a wonderful young man. But I think neither of you understand what it means for him to be an omega. As hard as both of you resisted Kana spending his winter break with me, there's no other conclusion I can make. Kana is my mate, of course he would move here to be with me, this shouldn't even be a surprise. “Now, because I respect you both, I'm asking you to please not say more things to upset him or I will have to ask you to leave.” Kana flinched at those words, but he couldn't pull himself away from Kouki enough to see how his parents might be taking his soulmate's cool tone. He didn't even want to think about what it would mean if the fragile relationship between his parents and his future mate fell apart already. “If his self-confidence has been so easily broken, then perhaps we did not do such a good job,” his father muttered, startling Kana so badly he jerked back to gape at him. “If he truly thinks he worth rests entirely on such a small thing...” “Not that small a thing,” Kouki countered softly. “But in the end, not all that important, either. Kana's value to me isn't predicated on how many children he may or may not be able to give me.” “And neither is ours,” his mother said quietly, reaching out to cup his face in her hands. “I'm sorry, sweetheart, we'll discuss it when you're well again.” “No,” he insisted, shaking his head free. “No, we won't. There's nothing to discuss, Mom. When I graduate from high school, I'm moving in with Kouki. Chamu's already switched to taking the Todai entrance exam and I ... I haven't decided if I'm going to do that or go for another school here, but either way, I'm definitely moving here. This is where I belong. This is where I need to be.” Kana's mother frowned, eyes narrowing at Kouki in silent accusation a moment. And then she got up and, without a word, stormed out of the room. Kana felt something catch in his throat, eyes going to his father. For a heart-stopping few seconds that felt like years, he didn't say anything. Then he sighed heavily and shook his head. “Maybe Kouki-san is right, maybe we don't understand. Maybe we can't,” his father said, a quiet determination to each word. “I only know what I've seen with my own eyes, the stories my grandfather would tell of how things were in the past. We can only act from what we know, Kana-kun, and what your mother knows is that she loves you and wants to protect you and she doesn't know how to do that if you move out of her house.” He didn't know how to respond to that, mutely blinking a few times as he tried to process a response, any sort of response. What was he even supposed to say? It wasn't like he didn't appreciate his mother's concern, but surely she hadn't been thinking she could protect him forever? “I'll talk to her, son, try to make her understand, but you know why she worries,” his father said before quietly excusing himself. Kana nodded, closing his eyes as he leaned into Kouki's warmth all the more as he listened to the fading footsteps. This was where he belonged, with his alpha. “That sounds like there's a story behind it, love,” Kouki said softly. Kana froze at that, biting his lip. It both was and wasn't a secret, really, and certainly it was a story his soulmate deserved to hear, but just thinking about it was making his heart hurt. He felt a tightness in his chest, or perhaps it was just the air getting too thin to breathe properly. How could he even begin to explain when he felt like the very air was trying to deny him life just thinking about it? “Shh, it's okay, baby, you don't have to tell me right now if you can't, I'm sorry I asked,” Kouki soothed, stroking his hair and holding him close. A whimper and Kana pressed his face into Kouki's chest, breathing in as much of his alpha's scent as he could manage. It wasn't working as well as it had the last few times, the panic stubbornly refusing to let itself be dispelled, but it still felt good to have Kouki's arms around him. “Oi, blondie, what did ya do to him?!? Kacchan, you okay? Need me to punch him for ya?” Even though he still felt like he couldn't hardly breathe, Kana couldn't help a small smile at hearing Hikaru's voice. Not that the other omega would be able to see it, but that part almost didn't matter. “Asked a question I shouldn't have, apparently,” Kouki replied softly. “You guys didn't stay away long.” “Well it's not like we went far,” Hikaru said and Kana could have sworn he could hear the shrug in the other man's voice. “When we saw his mom come out looking loaded for bear....” “Well, I don't know if I'd go that far,” Chamu added in a slightly abashed mumble. “She definitely didn't look happy, but I figured we should wait 'til your dad came out, too. What ... what happened, Kacchan? I mean what did she say??” “She doesn't want me moving out. Because ... because of that thing,” Kana mumbled, stumbling over the words a little. “I told her it doesn't ... I told her I know Kouki's not a manga prince, I know my life isn't a storybook story, and ... and I don't care, I'm moving here and she can't change my mind.” “Oh....” One word, but Kana could tell it was enough for his alpha to pick up that there was a lot more to it than some might guess. He didn't know what it was in Chamu's scent that was tipping him off, but he could definitely tell that Kouki knew. Knew that whatever it was Kana hadn't been able to tell him, Chamu knew all about it. The omega couldn't decide if he wanted Kouki to ask Chamu or not or what he'd want Chamu to do if the alpha did. Just as long as he didn't ask in front of Hikaru. He liked the omega, but.... “Okay, well, I'm not going to even ask, but seriously, Kacchan, any time you need to talk about stuff this big alpha knothead can't understand, I'm here for ya, okay?” “Thanks, Hikaru-san,” he mumbled, a sudden wave of exhaustion hitting him. “You look like shit, hon,” the redhead teased, ruffling his hair. “Sleep, ya stubborn goat. I can take care of these two, no problem.” “Since when is that even your business, Hikachu?” Kouki countered, but the alpha was laughing under the protest. It gave Kana a warm feeling all over and though he could hear the others still talking, it was easy to fall asleep. He had made the right decision, this was where his life belonged now, with these people. His mother didn't have to like it, but she was going to have to get used to it. Chapter End Notes I've caught up with myself again, so the next week or two will be other stuff, but if it is as much as two weeks, there'll be a little sidebar treat out of this verse in the break~ ***** Friendships ***** Chapter Notes Pulled another surname out of my butt, for Kouki this time. I should be sorry for it, but I'm not. Also, as it is now November, this fic is going on hiatus until mid- December or possibly January. Sorry guys, but it's NaNoWriMo, so novel is going to be taking up all my writing time for the month. If you want to know how it's going, I'll be talking about it on my Patreon at least twice a week. (I'll still be publishing once a week until this comes back from hiatus, it's just going to be mostly or entirely backlogged Gensou stuff and maybe a chapter or two of Sleeping with Ghosts.) Christmas Eve morning came and they were still at the hospital. Kouki had tried again to get Mitsuki to let him take Kana home, but the surgeon remained adamant that he wouldn't even consider it until Kana's bowels had recovered enough that he was passing gas. Which also meant the omega still wasn't on solid foods yet, not so quietly grumbling about the breakfast Minase brought for Kouki. He had to bite his lip to keep from smiling at the disgruntled noises his omega was making, needing a few sips of his morning coffee before noticing something was off. “Shouldn't there be someone with you, Minase-kun?” he asked, glancing around the room again just to be sure he hadn't missed anyone. But no, it was just the three of them. Chamu's absence was understandable - even as worried as the beta had been, he had let himself be talked into staying the night with Hikaru and Kouki didn't really expect to see them return until midmorning. But seeing as Minase had volunteered to drive Kana's parents anywhere they needed to go, including back and forth between Kouki's apartment and the hospital.... The look on Minase's face was enough to tell him, but the words that followed still rankled. “They left. There was a note, but....” But Minase had read it and didn't think the contents were anything Kana needed to hear. The beta was probably even right, except it was too late to actually keep it from the young omega. Best Kouki could do was try to manage the damage and fallout. “Summarize it?” The beta sighed and shook his head. “It's not really ... they went home,” Minase said, grimacing briefly. “I called Junji-kun for you, by the way. And a meeting with Hiyorin for Wednesday, he said he'd be happy to come here if Kana-kun still hasn't been discharged yet.” So the note was that bad? Kouki throttled the urge to sigh himself, instead nodding and quietly thanking Minase for all his help. “Wait! The note, I ... I want to read it,” Kana said just as Minase was about to leave. “I didn't bring it with me,” the beta replied, shaking his head again. “And no offense, but I don't think you should. It was written in anger, she may have meant it at the time, in the heat of the moment, but not any further than that.” Kouki could smell the fear and doubt practically pouring off his soulmate. A look was all Minase needed, the beta slipping from the room even as silent tears started trickling down Kana's cheeks. Though the omega didn't stay silent for long. “Wh-why? Why would they leave like this??” Kana stammered between choked sobs. “I don't know, sweetheart, I've been here with you the whole time, remember? But I trust Minase-kun completely. Whatever she said, she was angry, just blowing off steam. You'll see.” Kouki pressed a kiss to Kana's lips, then another to his forehead before gently enfolding his arms around him and holding him close. The sobbing grew even worse at that, as he had expected it would. He certainly wasn't going to complain or do anything to discourage it, holding the younger man close and letting him cry himself out. Or at least such had been his intention, knowing that sometimes a good cry could do wonders to make a person feel better about things. “Dammit, blondie, what gives? I go away for a little bit and every time - every time! - I come back to Kacchan crying again. I don't know what you're doing to him, but I swear if you don't stop it, I'm gonna cock punch ya!” “Hikaru!” Incongruous as it was, Kouki couldn't help laughing at the redheaded spitfire. And people seriously thought omegas couldn't be strong? “You two came back early....” “Don't go changing the subject! Kacchan, what's wrong?” Kana blubbered a few disjointed particles, but his tears were getting in the way of much else. Kouki carefully sat on the bed, arranging Kana in his lap, and hoped the nurse wouldn't come in to catch them for awhile longer yet. “Where are his parents?” Chamu asked suddenly. Smart kid. Of course Chamu knew a lot more about what was running under the surface than Hikaru did. Or even Kouki himself. “They left before Minase got to my apartment this morning. Or last night, he didn't actually say,” he explained, frowning a little at that realization. Not that it probably mattered, since the end result was still the same - his mate broken and doubting his own worth yet again. Nonsense he fully intended to find a way of ending, one way or the other. “... what? Why??” Hikaru sputtered. “Long story,” Chamu mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck slowly. “I knew she was mad about us moving down here, but I didn't think she would go that far.” “Well she did,” Kouki grumbled in response, inwardly wincing when his irritation plunged his soulmate's scent even more into guilt and self-doubt. Tightening his arms around the young teen, he caught his chin and forced the omega to look him in the eye. “Stop it. Stop it right now, Kobayashi Kana. This is not your fault and giving in to her fear isn't going to make anything better. Your place is here, in Tokyo, with me. And if it starts now, it starts now. I. Don't. Care. Let her be scared and angry and whatever else. You. Are. My. Soulmate.” Kana blinked up at him with wide, dewy eyes, managing a shaky nod before scooting in closer and pressing his face into the crook of Kouki's neck. He couldn't completely hold back a sigh, petting his omega's hair and letting him cling as much as he needed. It was getting to be a little annoying; every time he felt like they were starting to make progress, something would happen to knock Kana back into this same place of self-doubt and self-loathing. But what could he do except roll with it? For the sake of his soulmate, he would simply have to be patient, to continue trying to help his mate see himself as worthy. Somehow, he would find a way to fix him. ~*~*~ Kana wanted to ignore that the door had even opened, but the alpha scent of his doctor wasn't so easily avoided. Biting back a whine, he forced himself to sit up and not try to hide against Kouki's chest for once. “Good morning, I ... oh, did I get here too early?” the surgeon asked, frowning a little, as if the question sounded wrong even to his ears. “Yes, but no,” Kouki said for him, squeezing Kana's hand. “Kana-kun's parents went home this morning and Junji-kun hasn't arrived yet.” “ ... I'm going to pretend you said they went out for a cup of coffee,” the surgeon grumbled, shaking his head a little before turning his full attention to Kana. “How are you feeling this morning, Kana-kun? Any tenderness? Bleeding? Swelling? Nausea?” “Um, a little bit of a headache, here,” he said, rubbing one temple, “and up into my sinuses. Kouki says it's probably from the crying earlier.” Sakai-sensei nodded and hummed, gently probing and going through the same routine as the last couple of checkups, asking questions and judging his physical state. At least he seemed somewhat satisfied with Kana's answers. “All right, then, I'll let you get on with breakfast,” he said when he was done, offering Kana an encouraging smile before turning his attention to Kouki. “Nurse Sawa can let me know when that other thing is resolved, all right?” Kouki nodded, leaving Kana to wonder what the surgeon had meant but not wanting to ask for fear of looking like an idiot. “He can do an exam, ask how you're feeling, but if he wants to talk about keeping you here longer, since you're still technically a minor, you're supposed to have a parent or legal guardian here with you,” Kouki explained quietly. And yup, just as he had expected, Kana felt like an idiot for not figuring that bit out on his own. How much longer until Kouki got tired of him being such a useless stupid kid? “You're doing it again,” Kouki whispered into his ear. “Hikachu's gonna yell at me again if you keep thinking like that.” “Hikachu can hear you~” the redhead singsonged. Kana felt his cheeks flare in embarrassment as he twisted around in Kouki's lap, pressing his face into the alpha's chest. As if he wasn't already feeling shitty enough. Why did the universe hate him so much? “Hikachu is going to get his butt kicked if he doesn't behave,” Kouki grumbled, though there was a certain lack of scent to match the supposed aggression in his voice. “So, what, are you telling me I should just get used to his nervous wreck scent?” “Wait, you can really smell that sort of thing?” Chamu interrupted. “Yeah, of course,” Hikaru replied casually. “The better I know a person, the more I can tell from scent, but even someone I don't know, even a beta, if I'm close enough to pick up scents, I can at least get a general feeling for their mood. Like you, right now, you think I'm totally bullshitting you, right Kacchan?” “All I can smell is Kouki,” Kana mumbled, not moving away from his alpha's chest, not even when Hikaru started laughing. Maybe it was ridiculous, but he felt so safe when he was able to wrap himself in Kouki's scent, he didn't know what he would do if the alpha ever really did give up on him. Just the thought was enough to bring tears to his eyes, though he fought hard to push them away, pressing even closer. Kouki's arms tightened around him and the knot in his chest eased a little more. “Well good, maybe if you keep your nose buried in his scent long enough it'll penetrate your brain that he really does love and support you,” Hikaru mock grumbled. “If you weren't such an adorable sweetheart, Kacchan, I'd totally have to hate you for doubting for even two seconds what you two have.” “What they have? They hardly know each other, what can they possibly have??” Chamu protested, almost predictably. “A bond so strong Kouki hasn't needed to bite him for both of them to feel it,” the older omega countered sharply. “Soulmate bonds don't always work that way, mine sure as hell didn't. I can't wait to be free of mine, even if it means waiting for my next life before I can know what it's like to be with a soulmate. So yeah, I'm jealous. And so are you, Chamu-kun, don't even try to deny it.” “You don't know anything about me,” Chamu muttered, but Kana knew that tone of voice, knew his best friend. Hikaru had hit the nail right on the head and Chamu was scared to admit it. Maybe he couldn't do anything about his mother's sudden abandonment of him, but he had to at least try to get Chamu to understand that Kouki wasn't the enemy. Or whatever it was his idiot best friend was thinking. So of course the door opened before he could even finish thinking of the right words. “Morihito-san has a terrible habit of not listening to me,” the nurse, Sawa, said, frowning at him with one hand on her hip and the other holding Kana's breakfast tray. More tea and broth, most likely. Kana wrinkled his nose and sighed, carefully sliding off Kouki's lap before the nurse could scold them any further. He would be so glad when he could eat solid food again, he was getting awfully tired of clear soup, tea, and popsicle. As ridiculous as it sounded, even to himself, he was really starting to miss even rice. Kana was only half listening as Kouki and Hikaru pretended to be arguing about plans for later that day and Kana's chances of getting discharged. He already knew the chances of him being allowed to spend Christmas Eve with his alpha in Kouki's apartment were down to zero, the rest didn't really matter to him. Instead, his mind was gnawing on the fact that his own parents had left, gone back to Fukui without saying another word to him. It didn't really fit their overprotective pattern, he couldn't make it make sense. Ever since that day, his parents, his mother in particular, had always been standing over him, watching over him. The last two years had gotten a little bit better, he'd been given enough freedom to actually have a part time job, though he wasn't allowed to work more than three nights a week. His mother had even taken to suggesting, sometimes with more subtly than others, that he try finding a nice beta girl for himself. As if something like that would have ever worked out for him. He didn't know - and it didn't really matter anyway - but he doubted even a soulmate bond to a beta would have been enough to protect him from the eventual fate of all those unlucky enough to be born an omega. “Kobayashi Kana? Hi, I'm Tokai Junji and I'm going to be your lawyer.” It was rude, but he couldn't help it, Kana gaping at the man who had just walked into his hospital room. That couldn't be right, he must have heard that wrong. “But you're an omega!” he blurted out, heat immediately flooding his cheeks. That had been incredibly rude of him, but ... but it was hard for him to believe. Omegas weren't lawyers! Nursing, teaching, day care management, even some arts, those were omega professions, if an omega really absolutely had to do something besides staying at home tending the house and kids. Lawyer? No way. Especially not an omega with a blue streak in brown hair that probably would have been halfway down his back if not for being caught up in a half- tail, half-bun sort of style. And what lawyer came to a hospital to visit a new client in distressed jeans and a slouchy sweater? “Yup, married and everything,” the omega said, holding up his hand to show off an elegant ring, presumably a bonding gift from his mate. “I know you don't have access to your jitsuin right now, but a verbal contract is enough for me to start representing you. That is if you want me to. Hey Kou-kun.” “I ... I don't understand. And I can't afford a lawyer,” Kana stammered. “Call it pro bono, call it a favor for your lugnut alpha here, don't worry about it,” the omega said with a dismissive gesture. “If you're okay with it, I can go check in with the hospital lawyer, find out if the emergency custody they filed is still in effect or not.” “If it was, Mitsuki-sensei would have just brought the social worker with him this morning,” Kouki said with a shake of his head. “They probably set it up to expire when his parents got here.” “In that case, I'll go see if I can't catch sensei and then a judge and get you expedited judgment as an emancipated teen. Eighteen, right? Shouldn't be too hard. I'll be back for lunch~” Tokai squeezed his hand and then he was practically trotting back out of the room. Kana blinked a couple of times, wondering just what it was that had just happened. “Is ... is Tokai-san really a lawyer?” he asked quietly. “Really and truly. Started out in a large practice, but they weren't taking him seriously, so he put out his own shingle. His focus has been mostly on corporate law the last couple of years, but he started in family law and when he's doing pro bono work, it's usually still in family issues, since he works with an omega advocacy group.” “R-really?” “Really. Just one of the many reasons why he and I are friends. Relax, Kacchan. I know it's not the Christmas we had planned, but....” “I... I know,” he mumbled, glancing sidelong at Hikaru and Chamu. “What about you guys?” “I'm not going back to Fukui while my best friend is still in the hospital,” Chamu grumbled, stubbornly crossing his arms over his chest. A beat and then he relaxed his posture again with a heavy sigh. “But I guess you two deserve to have Christmas Eve to yourselves.” “It's fine, you can stay with me again tonight, ne? Mom won't mind,” Hikaru offered. Chamu looked unhappy with the arrangement, but instead of protesting, he just nodded again. Not even mid-morning and it was already shaping up to be another long day. Kana sighed as he leaned back and closed his eyes. Too early to seriously try for any more sleep, but he didn't really know what else to do with himself, either. At least when he was asleep he didn't have to deal with anything else. ~*~*~ Though it was difficult, Kouki held his alpha instincts in check and forced himself to stay seated and silent when the physical therapist came to take Kana on a short walk of the ward. It didn't take much effort on his part to tell it was something his soulmate wasn't wanting to do, but he also knew the exercise was necessary. Still, he felt a pang of guilt when Kana returned, sinking back into bed with a tired huff. “We pushed a little further today,” the therapist explained with a cheerful grin. “He's doing really well though! And I'll put the good news on your chart!” “Good news?” Kouki asked, but the therapist was already leaving. So instead he turned to Kana, giving his omega a curious look. He wasn't sure what to think when the omega blushed dark red and tried to hide his face in his hands behind his knees. If there was good news, shouldn't Kana be happy? So why was he acting - and giving off the scent - like he was completely mortified instead? “Kacchan, you are so weird,” Hikaru said, reaching out and ruffling his hair. “Most people are happy about good news, you know? What gives?” Kana mumbled into his hands and Kouki had to bite back an immediate laugh. It wasn't funny. Except that it really was. And it was good news, but he could understand why his soulmate was feeling embarrassed by the therapist's enthusiasm. “Huh? What did you say? Kouki-san? What did he say?” “Let's just say his chances of getting cake after dinner have just reached guaranteed certainty,” he said, chuckling as he shifted to pull out his phone. That got the omega's attention, his head popping up from behind his knees. “Cake?” he asked in a terrible small and fragile, yet hope-filled voice. “As soon as sensei gives the okay, I'll have Minase-kun pick up something,” he agreed with a nod. He wasn't sure what, but something. The promise alone was enough, though, to bring such a smile to Kana's face that Kouki couldn't help but lean in and kiss him. He had intended nothing more than a brief, sweet kiss, a tiny reward of sorts to soothe his rattled omega and certainly nothing that might make the others uncomfortable. He hadn't counted on his normally incredibly shy soulmate seemingly forgetting there was anyone else in the room. Or how strongly he would react to Kana's sudden intense interest, the rush from getting a noseful of pliant omega after having so carefully restrained his own alpha instincts for so long. In an instant he had Kana pinned flat on his back and he probably would have gone a good bit further if not for the carefully polite cough from behind him. Right, still at the hospital. So much for his mature restraint. He even felt a bit ashamed of himself for losing his control like that, even knowing his mate wasn't recovered enough for them to be engaging in the sort of physical activities he had been a heartbeat from initiating right then and there. “Sorry,” he mumbled, forcing himself to sit back down and even moving his chair back a bit from Kana's bed. The omega looked genuinely confused for a moment and then his eyes went wide when it clicked, his face disappearing into hands and knees once more. “Ok, well, now that you've made this all awkward...,” Hikaru teased. Kouki was tempted to flip him off but chose instead to wake his phone and check in with Junji. “Relax, Tiger. I told you I'd be back for lunch and look - here I am and here's lunch.” Kouki couldn't help a light laugh at that, watching the orderly bringing in Kana's lunch and noticing the addition of rice and vegetables to his omega's tray. “Is he restricted to just that or can he have some of what we're having?” he asked, but of course the orderly didn't know, was just following orders like a good little beta. Rolling his eyes but restraining himself from doing anything worse - the orderly was just doing as he had been told, it wasn't his fault he didn't know more - Kouki turned his attention to his friend. “Juju? What are we having for lunch?” “Ah, nothing fancy, I didn't know if Kana-kun would be able to eat with us and if not, well, it would be cruel to get something special that he wasn't allowed to eat,” the omega explained as he started producing a variety of onigiri and a couple still-warm bowls of yakisoba. “And I've taken care of the necessary paperwork, Kana-kun, so you are now empowered to make your own medical and legal decisions. I also have a temporary power of attorney, but we'll need your jitsuin if you want something more durable than the next two days.” “He'll be getting a new one on Wednesday, will that work?” Kouki asked quietly. He had intended to keep it as a surprise for later that evening, part of his planned Christmas gift for his soulmate, but now that Junji was involved, well he was just going to have to adjust his plans. “I ... I am?” Kana stammered. “That's what the meeting with Hiyorin is for,” he explained softly. “New life, new jitsuin.” He could scent Kana's confusion, along with hints of fear and despair, which only made sense because he knew how hard his omega was still taking the hit from his parents leaving him. He squeezed the teen's hand, glancing over to Junji to gauge his reaction. The older omega gave Kana a troubled look, but quickly shook it off, focusing on Kouki. “Yeah, just let me know when everything is registered and we'll go over everything together,” Junji agreed, nodding as he handed him a Starbucks cup. Honey vanilla caramel latte, just the way he liked it. Not really a surprise considering how often they had met for coffee over the years, but it still brought a smile to his face. They were just finishing up lunch when Mitsuki came in, a friendly grin on his face. “Hey Ju, are we all straightened out then?” “Filed with the hospital clerk and everything,” the lawyer said, nodding. “Excellent. All right, Kana-kun, I know you and Kou-kun are eager to get out of here and your physical therapist says you've been doing really well, but I still want to hold on to you for one more night, just to be on the safe side, okay? I know it's not what you want, but we'll make arrangements for a nice dinner. And yes, you can have chicken and cake tomorrow. At home, even.” Kana was crying again, but for once they were happy tears. It wasn't the Christmas Kouki had planned for them, but he was already thinking about how to make it work. ***** Fantastic (Baby) ***** Chapter Notes So it's been what, three months since the last update? Sorry about that, had a lot of other things on my plate. But we're back in business (I started drafting chapter 11 and chapter 9 goes up on my Patreon later today), so as a reminder, when we last left our hapless couple, Kana was in the hospital recovering from major surgery (and being blown up), his mom had pulled a stubborn stupid, and it was Christmas Eve and he wasn't going to get alone time with Kouki. Also, the chapter title was supposed to just be my working codename for it (because come on, it's silly!), but then plot things went a bit dark and I decided to keep it. Especially since this chapter is still relatively light and cute. So yes, future chapters will mean more tags, though I'm leaving them off until those chapters are posted because reasons. In the mean time, here's Hiyori~! (see footnote for inkan commentary) See the end of the chapter for more notes Kana shuffled forward out of the genkan and straight to the couch, flopping onto it face first. He really wanted a shower and a long bath, but he didn't think he had the energy to get that far. Maybe if he just laid there for a while, it would be enough for him to get there a little later? “Holy shit....” Tired as he was, he couldn't help but smile at Chamu's exclamation, having had the same reaction himself just a few days ago. “Baby, I don't think you're supposed to be laying like that,” Kouki scolded softly, gently nudging him until he rolled over onto his back. Right, his stitches. Pulling his shirt up, he frowned at his stomach again. They didn't hurt as much as he thought they should, but that could be the pills he had been taking pretty regularly the whole time he had been in the hospital. But now he was remembering all those pesky instructions Sakai-sensei had been giving him before he was discharged, like not getting his stitches wet and keeping an eye on them for any signs of late-blooming infection. And definitely, absolutely, positively no sex. At all. For at least a week, maybe two. Sigh. “Is that ... is that a pool out there?” “Yes. The previous owner had it installed as an infinity pool, but I wanted more privacy than that, so we made some adjustments. And installed screening bamboo plants,” Kouki explained, only briefly glancing away from him. Kana felt another blush creeping into his cheeks at the attention, though he couldn't say that he didn't like it. At the same time, a part of him was really wishing Chamu had taken the train home already. Sure, he wasn't cleared for sex yet and even if he had been, his willingness to make his best friend uncomfortable didn't extend quite that far, but right at that moment, more than anything he just wanted to be alone with his alpha. Ached to be alone with him, in fact. They hadn't had any proper alone time together since the attack and Kana was feeling a bit frayed around the edges. Especially with the way his parents had just left him and then not even texted him once since. He had sent them an email to let them know he had been discharged from the hospital, but still nothing. It hurt to think about it too much, but the silence was hard to ignore. “Is it actually big enough to swim laps or is that just the illusion?” “It's certainly not regulation size or anything,” Kouki said, glancing over at Chamu again, “but yeah, a person can do laps in it and not feel like they're too penned in on length.” Kana had to scoot, wiggle, twist, and turn all the way around so he could face towards the windows onto the terrace. And then had to bite back a giggle, seeing Chamu standing almost nose to the glass, not so unlike the way he'd done his first time. Maybe it was silly, but seeing that made him feel a lot better about the two of them moving in with Kouki. And about the still at times tense relationship between his future mate and his best friend. “Know what I'm doing when it gets warm enough then,” Chamu said with a self- assured nod. “You, too, Kacchan. Way better than a gym.” “The both of you doing laps together, it might get to feeling a bit tight,” Kouki warned, but he wasn't actually discouraging them. Kana couldn't decide if that was a good thing or not. “Are you sure it's okay, you staying here over Christmas like this, Chamu-kun?” he asked, nervous in spite of himself. Chamu's parents could be so weird, it was almost like they didn't even want him anymore sometimes. Compared to his own family, Kana really couldn't understand it at all. “I already told them I couldn't leave you while you were in the hospital, so it's not like they're going to question it or anything. Honestly, I think they're glad to have me out of the house for awhile,” Chamu admitted softly, finally pulling himself away from the windows to flop on the couch at Kana's feet. “You didn't bring much with you,” Kouki noted quietly. “Do you need to do laundry?” “Yeah, but it doesn't have to be right this second. I'm good to just sit and, I dunno, enjoy the quiet for a bit, you know?” the beta said with another shrug. “Unless this is Kacchan's not at all subtle attempt to get rid of me, in which case, I'd like to remind him that I was in the room when Sakai-sensei said no sex.” “Chamu-kun!” Kana could feel his cheeks burning up with embarrassment at the beta's casual words. Sometimes he really did wonder how they managed to be friends at all. “What? Oh, was I supposed to pretend like I had no idea how bad you want him? Yeah, like that's even possible. Like he doesn't already know. You're kinda really transparent about it, Kacchan,” Chamu grumbled. Kouki laughed and Kana swatted him for it. And then his brain caught up with his nose: for the first time, Chamu was teasing him about his relationship with Kouki without weird undertones in his scent. Was this supposed to be a sign that the beta was finally accepting their situation, unorthodox as it was? Another shallow inhale, but he still wasn't picking up anything bitter or dark from his best friend. Maybe this living together thing really would work out all right with the three of them? He certainly hoped so. “I talked to Hiyorin, he'll come here tomorrow so you don't have to go out if you aren't feeling up to it,” Kouki said quietly, settling on the floor beside the couch and rubbing his arm with one hand. “Once we have the new jitsuin registered, Junji-kun will come over so we can take care of your papers.” “But ... I'm out of the hospital now.... Is there really that much to take care of?” “That's between you and Junji-kun, babe,” Kouki said softly. “Whether she realizes it or not, your mother created a situation that now you're going to have to resolve. And that means you get to decide these things for yourself.” Kana felt like that didn't really answer the question at all, but maybe that was because Kouki didn't really know the answer? His alpha had obviously never been in this position, after all. It was probably a waste of time to even be worrying about it. A slight nod and he turned his eyes back out to the windows. To be honest, he wasn't sure what to say, how to take things from here. All he really wanted was to be held and comforted until dinner got there, whenever that was. No, actually, screw dinner, he just wanted Kouki to hold him, tell him everything would be okay, and he didn't even care about the food, even though he was pretty sure he needed to eat something again soon. “Shh, hey, easy sweetheart, it's okay,” Kouki soothed, pressing a kiss to his temple and hugging him gently. “Deep breaths, okay?” “Kacchan? What is it? What's wrong?” He didn't know how to get the words past the lump in his throat, turning and pressing his face into Kouki's chest. The tears had come from nowhere, he didn't know how to deal with them, let alone how to make them stop. The doorbell rang and he fisted his hands in Kouki's shirt, determined to keep his alpha from abandoning him, even if it was a ridiculous fear. “It's probably Hikaru-san, I'll get it,” Chamu mumbled. Another twinge in Kana's chest; the older omega was going to really lose it if he came in to find him crying yet again, but it seemed he didn't get a vote. A heavy sigh and Kouki picked him up, settling him on his lap with a low, wordless murmur. “I'm sorry,” he mumbled, pressing himself closer. “It's all right, sweetheart, I know you've been under a lot of strain lately, you don't have to apologize,” the alpha soothed, stroking fingers through his hair. It still felt lame to him and Kana bit his lip as he pressed closer. “Hey Kou, picked up your chicken and cake and I've got the reports you need to review. I can cover for you again tomorrow, but we really need you back in the office after that. And don't just sign off on these, Kou. We've got that board meeting Friday, so you need to actually do your homework this time.” “I'll do my readings, Minase-kun, I promise,” Kouki replied, chuckling. “Thanks. For everything.” “Just doing my job, Boss,” Minase said and even Kana could tell the beta was teasing. And found himself wondering yet again what the beta's job title actually was. And for that matter, what it was his mate actually did at the office. Though right then was probably not the ideal time to ask such questions. “Ah, I made it, I made it! Sorry I'm late, I – goddammit, blondie, you're making a bad habit of this!” “Why do you always assume it's somehow my fault?” Kouki protested. “Hey, you're the big, strong alpha protector, right? You're supposed to make things better, aren't you?” “Ever think that maybe my being his strong and protective alpha means he finally feels safe enough to actually feel all those pesky emotions like fear and pain and grief that he's been bottling up forever?” That was enough to rock Hikaru back on his heels a bit, the older omega frowning at them both for a moment. A beat and then Hikaru nodded. “Okay,” the omega conceded, “okay, yeah, you could have a point. You're right, I shouldn't assume, sorry. Kacchan? Is that what this is?” “I ... it's ... I'm fine,” Kana mumbled, feeling his cheeks heat as he burrowed himself into Kouki's chest once more. Was that what this was? He supposed it was as good a theory as any other, even if it didn't actually make him feel any better. A sigh and a hand rubbed his shoulder for a moment. “Yeah, no you aren't, hon, but that's okay, too. But if you're up for it, Mom insisted I bring over a bunch more food, since feeding me and Chamu-kun wasn't part of Kouki-san's original plan. She also said I'm to make sure you eat something with meat in it before you have anything sweet, but I won't tell her if you don't.” “Dinner first, cake after,” Kouki admonished with a brief kiss to Kana's hair. “And since it's a holiday and we're not going out anywhere, if you let me get up, there's a bottle of sake we can share. With everyone.” “E-eh? But Kacchan and I are underage,” Chamu half protested. “So don't tell anyone,” Kouki said, shrugging as he slid out from underneath Kana again. Tilting Kana's chin up, he brushed a quick kiss to his lips. “Don't worry about tomorrow right now, love, or any of the days after. It's Christmas and you're home with me, let's celebrate, okay?” Kana took a deep breath and managed a shaky nod. Kouki was right, worrying about the future was a waste of effort, especially when they had so much to celebrate. Tomorrow he would deal with everything tomorrow brought. ~*~*~ Kana winced and rolled over with a groan, pressing his face into a pillow. In hindsight, the sake had been a mistake, even though he had only been given half a glass. That he hadn't even finished. If he was feeling this bad without having finished his drink, he didn't want to know how much worse he would have felt if he had. “Hey sweetie, I take it you're not feeling so great?” Kana groaned and Kouki laughed. “All right, well, I've got water and aspirin here and Chamu-kun is going to help me with breakfast in a minute. I think you'll feel better if you take the medicine and join us for breakfast, but it's up to you.” Kana didn't move, waiting to see what his soulmate would do. To his surprise, Kouki only rubbed his back a few times before briefly kissing his hair and then getting up from the bed entirely. No pressure, no demands, just a suggestion and the freedom to decide for himself. Perhaps it shouldn't have been a surprise anymore and yet somehow it was. Kana burrowed himself even deeper into the blankets. He'd give it another five, ten minutes, and then maybe.... ~*~*~ Kouki glanced up at the sound of shuffling feet, smiling when he saw Kana making his way into the lounge with his eyes closed. Getting up from the couch, he walked over and slid arms around his omega, kissing his head and hugging him close. “How's the head?” “Still hurts,” Kana mumbled. “Light is evil.” “Did you take the aspirin I left for you?” he asked quietly, rubbing his back. “Mm, just now. Isn't helping.” “Well you've got to give it time first, baby,” he soothed, chuckling softly. “Come on, I've got tea and lunch in the lounge and you can say hi to Hiyorin.” Kana jerked back, blinking up at him a moment. And then faster than Kouki would have believed possible, the young omega was darting back into their bedroom, throw forgotten on the floor. Not an entirely unexpected response, but still surprising. “I'd offer to go, but I don't have another opening like this until late next month,” the artist in question said, chuckling. “I'll be right back,” Kouki said, chuckling and following after his omega. At least the teen wasn't pouting or sulking, though he was wearing a disgruntled expression as he changed into jeans and a sweater, grumbling under his breath about rude alphas. “I'm sorry, baby. I tried to wake you sooner, but you weren't having it,” he soothed, reaching out rub his shoulder briefly. “Then you should have tried harder,” Kana grumbled, not looking at him. “Do you know how embarrassing it is to have a complete stranger see you in nothing but pajamas and a blanket??” “Very cute pajamas, not that I think he was looking. You're not exactly Hiyorin's type.” “Yeah? Why's that?” “Well, you don't have boobs, for one thing,” Kouki teased softly. “Besides, he's beta and he knows you're mine. So just ... take a breath and relax, okay? He didn't see anything untoward and he won't think worse of you for having caught you sleeping. He knows you were in the hospital, and why, so it's okay, baby, I promise.” “It's still embarrassing,” Kana grumbled, but his scent had shifted from mortified to something less. Kouki risked upsetting the teen by closing the space between them and wrapping him in a gentle hug. A beat and then Kana slumped into his arms, a spike of fear scent catching the alpha off guard. “Kacchan?” “I ... I'm not ... I'm not ready for all this,” Kana mumbled. “I'm not ready. I just ... I just want to go back to the way things were.” “I'm sorry, baby,” he said softly, holding him closer. “I can't rewind the clock. But I'm here for you, okay? I'm here to help you move forward in any way I can.” “... why? You ... it's ... it's only been a couple months, you don't ... you don't really know me that well....” “Sweetheart.... Kana, baby, you're my soulmate. And I know you well enough to know this is what I want. You are what I want. Us is what I want, whatever we make of it,” he soothed, pressing a kiss to his forehead. Kana shivered, fear and doubt growing even sharper in his scent. Kouki couldn't help a low growl, pulling his soulmate even closer, tilting his chin up and pressing a hard kiss to his lips. “Kana.... Baby, if you say you don't want me, don't want us anymore, then I'll respect that. We'll call it all off and you can go home right now. But you better be damn sure that's what you want.” He hadn't really meant the words as a threat, and yet it was clear within moments that was exactly how Kana had taken them, the omega teen whining and collapsing into a heap on the floor at his feet. Desperation and fear flooded his senses so heavily Kouki could feel himself on the verge of losing control of his own instincts. And was silently grateful that Hiyori hadn't brought his alpha protégé with him. “Kana.... Kana.... Kacchan, listen to me. Forget it. Forget what I just said,” he said, crouching down and pulling the young omega into his arms. The bitter tang of his omega's fears was even worse in close like this, feeding the voice in the back of his head insisting he do anything he could think of to make his omega feel safe. The itch to bite his soulmate was back again, but he shoved it away. Now was absolutely not the time. “I ... I'm sorry I'm such a useless mess,” Kana gasped between sobs, clinging with both hands fisted into Kouki's shirt. “Don't say that, baby, you're not useless,” he murmured, one hand slipping up under Kana's hair to rub the back of his neck. It took him a moment to find the right pressure points, to get the right pressure to activate the glands that would help his omega relax. Kana's whole body shuddered with heavy sobs but with a little persistence, Kouki was finally able to get him to relax, the sobs dying off into sniffles and hiccups. Kouki kept up the gentle massage until even the hiccups subsided, his soulmate leaning against him limp and subdued. “Come on, baby, let's get you washed up and then lunch, okay?” he murmured, rubbing his back and shoulder. Hopefully the artisan hadn't left; it wouldn't be like Hiyori to leave without saying anything, but Kouki had no idea how long he had been distracted with his soulmate. And, well, Hiyori had a busy schedule to keep. “Oh good, I was beginning to worry something had gone terribly wrong. Kobayashi-kun, I'm sorry to have upset you so. Please accept this with my apologies.” Kana hesitated, needing a gentle nudge from Kouki before finally stepping forward to accept the small box. And then gasped when the box revealed its contents as a trio of cases, jitsuin, ginko-in and mitome-in, the finished stone seals laying nestled within each case. “Hiyorin....” “Jitsuin regulations are quite specific, and with everything else that's been going on with you lately - what, you think I don't read Twitter? - it seemed best to just go ahead and finish the set. As you can see, the jitsuin is even already registered.” Kouki could scent the tears even without seeing them. Which was not enough for him to be prepared for the way Kana virtually launched himself at the beta, hugging him tightly. For a fraction of a second, the pink-haired beta looked like he was about to panic. And then he laughed and returned the hug. “You're welcome, sweetheart,” Hiyori said, still chuckling softly. “As you can see, I used Kobayashi for the set, but if you decide, years from now when you two are bonded mates, to take that idiot's family name, just let me know and I'll make you a new set.” “... wait, you made these yourself?” “... oh Kou-kun, didn't you tell him anything??” the beta sighed, frowning over at him. “I thought I did? Surely I did ... no, I remember, when Junji-kun was at the hospital, I told you then, Kacchan, we were meeting with Hiyorin today so you could get your new jitsuin.” “But you didn't tell me he made them!” Kana protested with a pout that was almost too cute for words. “... what did you think he did?” “I ... I don't know...,” Kana confessed, blushing hotly. “I guess I just figured he was an employee, maybe in the legal department? I don't know, I don't know anything about this sort of stuff!” “And then he wonders why we call him an idiot,” Hiyori said, chuckling and ruffling Kana's hair. “I'm a licensed artisan and he's hired me a few times over the years now. But we've known each other since university, which is why I came here instead of making him come to me like I do all my other customers~” Kouki had to bite back a laugh at the way Kana just gaped at the beta for a moment, as if he were trying to wrap his brain around the other man's worlds. Hiyori laughed again, gently closing the omega's mouth. “Flies, dear,” he teased softly. “Anyway, I should get back to my day and let you two get on with yours. Again, sorry to have upset you so, Kana-kun, and it was a pleasure meeting you. And when he gets back, please thank Chamu-kun for me as well.” “Of course. I'll walk you out,” Kouki said, briefly rubbing Kana's back before turning to walk Hiyori out to the elevator. He was startled to have his friend stop him before he could call the car, though. Frowning, he waited for his friend to explain himself. “Don't give me that look,” the beta said with a soft sigh. “Be careful with him, Kou-kun, don't dive right back into work like everything is fine just because he's out of the hospital. He needs more than just what's left of his winter break to recover, make sure he takes it here.” “Hiyorin....” “I know I'm only a beta, but trust me. My father and two of my sisters are omega, I know more than most betas. Whatever traumas he's been through - and I don't just mean the explosion - they've caught up with him. He needs you and he needs you here. Don't let stubborn pride get in the way of that. Yours or his.” “I'll keep it in mind, Hiyorin, I promise,” Kouki murmured, frowning a little as he considered his options. Minase had been right about the board meeting, but after that he would see how much actually needed his attention and how much he could delegate to others for awhile. Should probably also confirm with Mitsuki whether his omega was even cleared to return to school yet or not. And then call Kana's parents and sort out whatever was going on with them. ~*~*~ Kana started to get up from his perch at the breakfast bar, safely out of the way of Kouki's cooking, but of course Chamu beat him to it. Sighing, he told himself he wasn't useless just because he wasn't allowed to help with anything. In truth, it was probably better that he keep out of the kitchen while there was any cooking being done anyway, at least for now. “Good morning, campers~!” “Junji.... I thought we agreed you'd come after my board meeting.” “No, you agreed. And then I reminded you that your board meetings always run two hours over and since this all needs to get settled before Kana-kun's physical therapy appointment, that I said I would be happy to take him to since you'd be stuck in your meeting, I said I'd come for breakfast,” Junji corrected, playfully swatting Kouki on the butt as he slipped past him to get himself a mug of coffee. “They don't always run two hours over,” Kouki grumbled and Kana didn't think he'd ever seen someone flip an omelette so angrily before, it was hard not to giggle. “No, you're right, the last time you and I had an appointment on a board meeting day, you were almost four hours late,” Junji replied, nodding as he scooted past the alpha again to sit at the breakfast bar next to Kana. The omega bit his lip and he could tell Chamu was doing the same. “I told you then, that was traffic!” the blond alpha protested. “Yes, of course, my mistake,” the lawyer said with a familiar soothing note Kana recognized from his mother using it on him. “The point, my dear Kou-kun, is that it would take a miracle for you to be done before his appointment and I really don't know why you didn't schedule it for later in the first place.” “It was the only time slot available, his therapist insisted,” the alpha huffed, slicing and plating the rolled egg. “I would have made it work.” “Really don't think this is the way or the time for that nest of vipers to find out you're mated to an omega half your age, Kou-kun,” Junji said, shaking his had. “I said I'd take care of it and I will. This is what friends do for each other, dear.” “I know, I know, just ... my responsibility, you know?” “Between Junji-san and Chamu-kun, I'm sure I'll be fine,” Kana said as he sipped his own coffee. “And I'm sure you were going to tell me about this appointment before the last minute, right?” “What? But you were right there, don't you remember?” “No ... though this explains why you were so mean, insisting I get up this morning instead of letting me sleep,” Kana said, pouting at his alpha. He wasn't actually mad, but it was such a rush, to see the way Kouki would react. The little flare of alpha scent, the way he would practically stumble over himself to apologize. “Already got him this well trained?” Junji teased, laughing. “Well, just be sure you use that power of yours only for good, you hear me young man!” “Yessir,” he mumbled, blushing into his coffee. He knew this sort of thing wouldn't last, that sooner or later Kouki would catch on to what he was doing, probably sooner now. But he intended to enjoy it while he could. He didn't really want breakfast to end, since the end of breakfast meant Kouki would be leaving for his office, but he knew it was inevitable. Which didn't stop him from walking his alpha to the door. Or lingering in their parting kisses. “Be good, love,” Kouki murmured, “and I'll bring you home some cake.” “I'm always good,” he mumbled with a smile, sneaking in one more kiss before his soulmate had to go. It was ridiculous for him to feel this dependant on just one person, he couldn't be clinging to his alpha all the time. And yet.... “Let's get all this paperwork stuff over with and then we can head over to the bank, get you set up with your own account and deposit box before your therapy session.” Kana wasn't sure how necessary that was, especially since it wasn't like he made a lot of money. And probably wouldn't ever make that much money, seeing as he was just an omega. But he wasn't really in a position to argue with his lawyer, either. Who was also an omega, actually, so maybe he was being overly pessimistic thinking he'd never be allowed to have a career of his own. Force of habit, he supposed, to think of himself as less for being omega. That was certainly the media narrative he had been seeing for as long as he could remember: alphas (mostly male) in all the top, key positions, betas to do all the actual work (especially since betas made up more than half of the population), and omegas to stay at home with the babies. Kana glanced sidelong at Junji again. Ok, so the media narrative didn't entirely fit with reality, or at least not reality as it existed outside his own limited experiences. Which meant he was really going to have to learn to adjust his thinking. A sigh and he sank down on Kouki's couch again. One step at a time. Chapter End Notes In Japan, inkan, rather than signatures, are used to certify documents. However not all inkan are created equal. 1. Jitsuin are the most formal, with each prefecture having strict regulations on their dimensions and contents to the point where it's most common for people to hire an artisan to create their jitsuin for them. Jitsuin are necessary to certify legal documents and must include the person's full name. 2. Ginko-in are slightly less formal inkan used for banking purposes. Ginko-in are registered with a person's bank and used for things like loans. Their dimensions and contents are slightly less strictly strictly regulated. 3. Mitome-in are semi-formal inkan used where a jitsuin imprint would be considered too formal, for example when paying utility bills. It's not uncommon for a person to craft their own mitome-in as it's a low-security seal with more room for personalization. There are also even lower security seals, hanko, which work similar to someone signing their initials. These are often mass-produced and completely insecure, which is why Hiyori didn't bother to include one in the set. ***** Fathom ***** Chapter Notes This chapter we get a first glimpse of what happened to break Kana. And we get to meet a new principle character: Tomoya. And find out about Junji's marriage, so a couple new tags. Yes, I am a horrible person. :3 Kana was fairly certain that a run to the bank, a session of very light physical therapy, and then lunch out with his lawyer and his best friend should not have been enough to leave him feeling completely exhausted. And yet that was exactly how he felt, nodding off in Junji's car and not waking again until a strange alpha's scent hit his nose. “Hey kiddo, think you can walk up to Kou-kun's penthouse on your own?” “Wh-who...,” he stammered, scooting away from him as much as he could in a back seat that wasn't actually empty. The alpha was smiling at him from outside the car, standing in the door but not actually trying to grab him or anything like that. Kana was surprised to notice he was rather attractive, softly feathered brown hair framing an angular, strong, yet somehow pretty face. Maybe it was the nose piercing, maybe it was the way his eyes crinkled as he smiled even wider, maybe it was the way he was carefully keeping his distance, but Kana could feel himself starting to relax a little. “Hi, sleepyhead. I'm Tomoya, Junji's partner. I was actually just gonna carry you, but then ya woke up, so I thought I'd ask first,” the brunet alpha explained, gesturing a little vaguely. “You okay?” Kana blinked a couple times, then scrubbed his face with both hands. So tired, but he didn't want some stranger carrying him around. He wasn't helpless. A huff and he started pushing himself up out of the car, a little surprised at how readily Tomoya backed away from him. Not that he got to notice it for long, the way Chamu swooped in to help him. “How long 'id I sleep?” he slurred, leaning heavily against his best friend as they rode up the elevator. “Not long enough, obviously,” Chamu murmured, rubbing his back. “It's fine though, ne? You can nap on the couch while I play Xbox or something. Did you not sleep well last night or something?” Chamu asked softly. Kana shook his head a little and leaned closer. He hadn't thought his sleep had been particularly bad, he even remembered feeling energized and ready to face the day at breakfast. He didn't know what had happened between then and now, but he felt like he had spent a whole day at hard labor or something. “Okay, kids, here we are. Kacchan, are you sure you're okay?” Junji asked, as he opened the door to the penthouse. Another huff and he pushed himself away from Chamu, stubbornly walking himself over to Kouki's couch before collapsing onto it. Junji's laughter trailed behind him, but it was warm rather than mocking, and there was a scent of genuine caring when the older omega reached down to ruffle his hair. Weird. “All right, hon, you've made your point,” Junji said softly, finger combing his hair back straight. “Okay, here's the deal. Kou-kun hasn't answered any of my texts, so he's probably still in that board meeting. I'll leave Minase-kun's number on the fridge, if you need anything, call him. And I'm still your lawyer, Kacchan, so if you need help with anything, just let me know and I'll do what I can. When you get your new phone, call my office so we can add that to your file, okay?” “Okay. Thank you, Tokai-sensei.” “It's not a problem, sweetie. No idea when Kou-kun will be back, but Chamu-kun has the key, so if you two do go out later, just lock up and leave him a note or something.” “He can't even stand up anymore, I don't think us leaving is going to be a problem,” Chamu said with a short laugh of his own. “Fair enough,” Junji conceded with another smile. “And remember guys, if you're going to order porn, make sure it's the good stuff~!” “Tomoyan!!” Junji protested, laughing and swatting the alpha's shoulder. The older omega dithered and fussed a little longer, even going so far as to fetch Kana a blanket before his alpha partner was able to successfully drag him away. Kana smiled as he settled into his bundle of blankets. “I like them,” Chamu said, settling on the floor in front of the couch with the Wii U pad. “I guess if Kouki-san is friends with people like that, he can't be all bad.” “Oh that's what it takes for you to finally maybe actually believe me?” Kana grumbled, surprised when Chamu swatted his knee. “Hey come on, you don't have to be that way about it,” Chamu countered. “In case you forgot, you're the one with the soulmate bond to him, not me. And you're the one with the special omega senses. All I've had was what I could see in front of me. And what I could see was some alpha twice our age who came out of nowhere and somehow had you convinced he was your soulmate without any shred of evidence.” “... Chamu-kun, I don't know what your parents told you about soulmates, but just what kind of evidence were you expecting?” “I don't know,” the beta conceded with a sigh. “But there should be something, especially for cases like you two.” “Something more than just that Kouki and I apparently smell the same?” “Um, considering only alphas and omegas can pick that up? Yeah, definitely something more than that!” It wasn't like Kana especially disagreed with his best friend. Some sort of tangible proof would be good for everyone, really, but there wasn't much use in wishing the universe operated differently. Wishing wasn't going to magically make it so, for one thing. “Look, it's a ... a process, okay? I'll get there eventually, you just gotta give me time, okay? And anyway, weren't you going to take a nap?” “Tired of my company already?” Kana mock grumbled, but he scooted down the couch a bit more so he could actually lay down properly. “Hey I'm not the one who fell asleep during a twenty minute car ride,” Chamu countered. “Go on, Kacchan, sleep. I can keep myself entertained and you obviously need it. You can give me all the reasons why I'm wrong and stupid for not trusting you on Kouki-san later.” “I never thought you were stupid, Chamu-kun,” he mumbled, rolling over onto his side to put his back to the television. It didn't really matter one way or the other and he certainly wasn't going to let the beta know how much those words had hurt. He was probably just overreacting because he was tired anyway. Better if he just ignored it, took a nap while he could. He'd feel differently when Kouki got home, he was sure of it. Or at least he was really hoping he would. ~*~*~ It was almost funny how much of an impact something as small as a familiar scent could have. Kana was well on the way to waking even before Kouki ever touched him, though he still clung to sleep. “Hey sweetheart, got someone who wants to talk to you.” There was a tightness in Kouki's tone that had him worried enough to actually set aside his preference for more sleep, rubbing his face as he pushed himself upright. And again when he blinked open his eyes. That ... that couldn't be.... “... Dad....” Sitting up a bit more, he looked around frantically for some sign of his mother, but there was nothing. Just Kouki crouched next to him and his father standing on the other side of the coffee table, almost looking scared to come closer. Which was an absurd thought, of course. His father didn't fear anything, least of all his own son. “Hello, son. I think ... we ought to talk.” “About?” he asked, suddenly wary. “Your mother and I think it's time you came home,” his father said quietly, sitting down in one of the flanking chairs. “Obviously tonight is out of the question, but there's a morning train –.” “No,” Kana said with a shake of his head, scooting closer when Kouki shifted to sit down next to him on the couch. “No, I'm not well enough to spend half a day on trains and I'd just be a burden on you and Mom right now. I'm still recovering from surgery, you know. Just because they let me leave the hospital, it doesn't mean I'm completely back to myself again. Chamu-kun's helped out, but Kouki's having to take off work to take care of me.” “Kana, be reasonable. It's one thing to come down here for a week to visit, something you know we were never that comfortable with, but now you're just being selfish. You can't just come here and expect Morihito-san to put his whole life on pause for you!” “I'm not expecting it,” Kana protested, shaking his head, “but I'm sure as hell not going to tell him not to, either, Dad. Besides, you're not listening: I can't leave right now. I did three whole things today and it was enough to completely wipe me out. And two of them were just me sitting! I couldn't have done any of them without help. Help from Chamu-kun and Tokai-sensei and Sakai- sensei and Suzuki-sensei and ... and Tomoya-sensei and ... and you're not guilting me into leaving here before Sakai-sensei and Suzuki-sensei say I'm cleared to travel.” “I'm sure you're exaggerating,” his father said with a quiet frown. “If you need to be under a doctor's supervision, there's nothing wrong with our family doctor back home.” “You can ask Chamu-kun!” he huffed, glancing around. “... where is Chamu-kun?” “I asked him to pick up some things for me,” Kouki said quietly, sliding a supporting arm around Kana's waist. “He should be back in just a little bit, the combini's just down the street. The fact that we are in my home, not a hospital room, does not change my stance, Kobayashi-san. Please stop upsetting my mate so casually.” “Soulmate or not, he is still my son,” Kana's father countered sharply. “And I seem to recall you saying you weren't going to bite him so young. Have you changed your mind, Morihito-san?” “He is your son, but this is my home and if you do not stop, I will ask you to leave.” “Kana, go get your things, we're leaving.” “Why won't you just listen to me for even just one minute!!” Kana shouted, frustrated tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. “You and Mom have been ridiculous about everything for years now! I get it, I could have died that day and my aniki did die that day and the two of you can't bear to think about him or about how close you came to losing us both, but you're being ridiculous! And it needs to stop! You can't ... you can't just come here and demand from me anymore, Dad! I have rights! And if you and Mom don't like it, well, you've got only yourselves to blame!” Kana could feel himself hyperventilating, a pain squeezing his chest. And then Kouki was picking him up, carrying him from the room. Closing his eyes, he pressed his face into Kouki's neck and took a few shaky breaths, drawing in as much of his alpha's scent as he could manage. He didn't know what had gotten into him to prompt such an outburst, it wasn't really like him. Maybe having spent half the day with Junji, being treated like a competent adult, at least by the lawyer, instead of a hopeless omega, had done it. And maybe the whys didn't really matter. “It's all right, Kacchan,” Kouki soothed as he sat down with him on the bed, still cradling him close. “Pretty sure that was Chamu-kun coming back just now, but don't you worry about that. Just breathe, baby. Your father isn't going to take you away from me.” The more he breathed in of Kouki's scent, the less his chest ached, though he still clung to the older man for dear life. They needed to talk about this, talk about what this meant for them. If he had to invoke his rights as an emancipated teenager to make his own decisions, would that be completely burning his bridges with his parents? If he stayed in Tokyo, what would that do to his relationship with Kouki? It was one thing for Kouki to say he would support Kana unconditionally, but it was another thing entirely for Kana to just assume he meant it that way. Despite what his father had said, he wasn't actually that selfish. But right at that moment, the thing he wanted most was to feel Kouki holding him, to not think about anything for awhile. Fortunately for him, the alpha seemed more than willing to go along with it. A low sigh and he snuggled in even closer. Maybe this was the coward's way out, but he didn't care. ~*~*~ Letting himself into Kouki's apartment, Chamu found himself thinking again about what Hikaru had said about being able to smell moods. And what the older omega would have been able to tell him about whatever it was he had just walked in on. Nothing good, he could tell that much from the fleeting glimpse of Kouki carrying Kana down the hall and the way Kana's father was still standing there with a stunned look on his face. Not sure what else to do, Chamu took himself and his combini bags into the kitchen. He knew sending him to the store had been both a genuine need to get things for dinner and an excuse to get him out of the apartment while Kana talked to his dad. He probably shouldn't have rushed the way he had, but his gut had been trying to warn him of danger and ignoring it ... well ignoring it hadn't been an option. It was almost funny, in a not at all amusing sort of way, to see Kana's parents turning more and more like his own. Perhaps because the two families had taken such different paths reacting to that day, seeing them end up in the same place.... There was an almost visceral pleasure in it, one that he quickly squashed as unworthy of him. Kana might have a few screws loose, but he was still Chamu's best friend and seeing his friend hurting like this wasn't anything he had ever wanted. How many times had he wished his own parents had been more like Kana's parents? Certainly he would never, had never wished for this change in their attitudes. He really couldn't understand it at all, but it wasn't his place to butt into Kana's family life, so he kept to the kitchen, putting away last minute groceries that he was no longer so sure they were even going to need. “Chamu-kun. I thought I saw you coming in....” “Kobayashi-tousan,” he said, forcing a small smile for Kana's sake. He didn't want to make trouble. “You've been here almost a week now. How has that been?” “... no offense, Kobayashi-tousan, but I came down here because my best friend had been blown up in a terrorist attack on a local mall. I've had to spend Christmas Eve with a family that wasn't mine, I've had to watch my best friend go through something horrible, that no one should ever have to face, and I've seen him break down over something as small as opening a bank account. So it's not like I've been having a fun time here or anything.” “What are you talking about, breaking down over a bank account? Why does he need another bank account?” Chamu had to take a second to resist the urge to roll his eyes. Leave it to Kana's dad to jump on the smallest part of what he'd said. “Those were our errands today - a local bank account, physical therapy, and lunch with his lawyer. I think we were out for two and a half to three hours and it was enough to where Kacchan needed a nap after. And this wasn't even a proper physical therapy session cuz it hasn't even been a week since his surgery, it was mostly sitting and talking about their plan for going forward and what sorts of activities he's allowed to do right now and what things he'd prefer for when his incision's all healed up properly.” Taking a breath, he put away the last of the groceries before turning around to face Kana's father properly. Sure he had started this conversation telling himself he wasn't going to make any trouble, but from three questions he already had a good idea where Kana's dad was heading. Especially with as upset as Kana had to have been for Kouki to have been carrying him away like that. Maybe it wasn't his place to say anything about it, but Kana's father had been the one to start this conversation. “Look, I get it, his mom's probably making you crazy wanting him home, but she really should have thought of that before she walked out on him. My opinion, he's better off here. It's going to be another month before he can even go back to school, so he might as well stay here, with the same medical team that did his surgery in the first place. I know you're going to try pressuring him into going home with you, if you haven't already, but I really wouldn't suggest it. He doesn't need your permission anymore and Kouki-san won't put up with you pressuring him anyway. They may not be legally mated to each other yet, but if you really think that's going to stop him, then you don't know anything about Kouki-san.” “I see,” the older beta said with the sort of coldness that meant, in his opinion, Chamu had crossed a line. Well tough shit. Kana had been his best friend for as long as he could remember and he would do whatever it took to protect him. Even if it meant telling off his best friend's dad. “Well, you tell Kana I'll see him tomorrow. Good night, Chamu-kun.” He probably should have seen the man out, but a part of him was still feeling petty and mean. He just hoped Kana didn't regress too far from this latest stunt by his parents. Even understanding why they were so overprotective didn't help when, from where he stood, what they were doing was obviously all about making themselves feel better rather than what was best for Kana. ... and just when had he started thinking that Kouki was what was best for Kana? Sighing at himself, he grabbed a bottle of water and went back into the lounge. No telling how long those two would be and no point in starting dinner until at least one of them resurfaced. Though if they took too long he might just order a pizza instead. And then try his hardest not to think about how much it was going to suck if he had to go back to Fukui by himself. ~*~*~ Kouki couldn't really bring himself to be surprised as he felt Kana falling asleep in his arms. His soulmate had had an eventful day, even before his father had stepped into the picture. He could feel his hackles bristling again just thinking about it. How could he have been so stupid, blindly trusting the man like that even after everything he had seen? But then he had wanted to believe that Kana's father was honorable, that this whole mess with Kana's mother really had just been hurt pride getting in the way of common sense. He had taken the man at his word that he wanted what was best for Kana, never suspecting that Kana's father would be too fixated on his own ideas of what that meant to actually listen to anyone else. Settling his soulmate on their bed, he brushed a kiss to his forehead and then went back to the lounge. And tried not to let on to his surprise at how angry Chamu's scent was. And frowned at the open pizza box sitting on the coffee table in front of the teen. “Chamu-kun....” A couple last combos and Chamu paused his game, a sheepishness leaking into his scent as he looked up at him. “I know, you wanted to cook. And I got everything you wanted! But then his dad pissed me off and I was hungry and you guys had kinda disappeared and I wasn't sure how long it was going to be before you resurfaced, so....” “What did he say?” Kouki asked, frowning as he sat down on the other end of the couch. “Nothing, really,” Chamu said, embarrassment spiking through his scent. “I ... probably made things worse, but I know why he came here. They're used to Kacchan being the stereotypical omega, always bowing to what they want, regardless of anything else. Which is pretty funny when you consider that they're pretty much ignoring the fact that, as an alpha, you could and do have way more influence than they ever could. His dad's planning to come back tomorrow, by the way, but I doubt anything's really going to have changed. He's still going to want Kacchan to go home with him, never mind that Kacchan really would be better off staying right here.” “I thought you didn't like me, didn't trust me with Kana,” he said quietly, helping himself to a slice of pizza. “I don't know you, but that's not really the point,” Chamu said, shrugging. “His surgeon is here, his lawyer is here, and whether I like it or not, he's happier being with you. I may be an idiot sometimes, but I'm not that blind.” Kouki nodded, subsiding into thoughtful quiet as he ate his slice of pizza. “Anyway,” Chamu said after an awkward moment, “I like Tokai-sensei and his partner. They're good guys and if you're friends with them, well, then you can't be that bad.” “His partner? Oh, did you meet up with Tomoyan then for lunch?” “No, after,” the teenaged beta said with a shake of his head. “Kacchan fell asleep in the back of Tokai-sensei's car so he had his partner come meet us here. Tomoya-sensei was going to carry Kacchan up here but then he woke up instead. So I guess it wasn't much, but that was a lot of effort to go to for someone he doesn't know, just because his omega asked, so....” “Eh? Ah, no, no, Junji-kun and Tomoyan are business partners, law partners, not a bonded couple.” “They ... they aren't? But....” It was hard not to snicker at Chamu's confusion, but somehow Kouki managed to control his amusement. “Tomoyan's bonded to another omega, Koudai runs a small gallery in Ginza. As for Juju, he's married to Avex's top exec, it was kind of a big deal a couple years back when she mated him, at least around here. Some of my board members wanted her replaced, but I wouldn't hear of it. Everyone makes a big deal about it when a male alpha chooses or is soulmated to a non-omega but if an alpha female chooses or is soulmated to a male omega, it's even more scandalous somehow. I won't say the celestial powers that decide soulmates are perfect - look at Hikachu and his soulmate - but to question it just because some people think a female alpha and a male omega is somehow unnatural or perverse....” It was another one of his little pet peeves, the notion that a female alpha and a male omega being together was a perversion of the natural order. Why shouldn't a female alpha take a male omega for her mate if they were both willing? Of course the board had tried every excuse they could find to have Kumiko replaced from the day she had been promoted to president of Avex. As if being a former teen idol made her somehow less qualified to run a record label. Kumiko was, in Kouki's opinion, not only brilliant but someone with unique insights into the needs of her label and the talents signed to her company. He had been only too happy to quietly and subtly nudge the Avex brass into rewarding her hard work with the promotions he knew she had more than earned anyway, even if others hadn't always agreed. The “scandal” of Kumiko taking the reins at Avex had actually worked in the label's favor, generating more interest in their artists and dramatically increasing album sales for the quarter. “Wait, wait, Tokai-sensei is married to Koda Kumiko?? Hoshit....Wait, how are you involved in that?” “Avex was bought by the Matsumoto Group five years ago, right after I took charge. Our board of directors could, in theory, insist on a change, but to do so right now would be ... scandalous and inappropriate,” Kouki replied, shrugging. Despite their critics, Kumiko and Junji were well matched, a power couple able to command most any room. And more importantly, very happy together and completely in love. More than once he'd caught himself feeling jealous of their happiness, though perhaps now that he had his Kana at his side, he would be able to let go of that. A small smile caught at his lips as he thought about it, though it didn't last long. The revelation that he was mated to a male omega half his age wasn't going to go over well. As much as he loathed the very idea of keeping Kana hidden from the public, he knew it was the better way to go, at least for now. Kana wasn't ready, by any stretch, for a proper high society debut. Between his age, his family background, and his designation, there were too many ways for things to go wrongly. He hated it, hated the thought of Kana thinking he was being kept hidden because Kouki was embarrassed by him, but he had to protect his soulmate. Certainly right now Kana was in no condition to be facing the vultures of Tokyo's high society. A year, two, maybe even three, and things would be different. Assuming he could keep things quiet that long.... “Ah, maybe I shouldn't've asked, sorry. Though ... no offense, but aren't you kinda, well, um, old to still be single?” “Hey now, thirty-six isn't that old!” he protested with a soft laugh he didn't entirely feel. “And not that it's any of your business, but I was actually engaged once. So of course she met her soulmate the week after I proposed and then the two of them ran off to Fiji together.” “That ... is such a cliche....” “It is. Used the ring I'd given her to buy the tickets, too.” “Seriously?! Well damn, sounds to me like you dodged a bullet on that one!” “Guess I did at that,” he said, and this time the chuckle was genuine. Usually talking about Hinoko left him with an ache in his chest, but this time there was little more than a brief twinge. These days he wasn't sure anymore if he had ever really been in love with her or if he had been in love with the idea of loving her. Considering how easily she had left him behind, he couldn't help thinking Hinoko had only ever been in it for his money. He hadn't bothered keeping track of her after she'd run off on him, but now suddenly he was intensely curious to know what had become of the pair. Not that he could even remember her soulmate's name. Something to ask Minase about when he next saw the beta. “Pizza? I thought Kouki was cooking dinner tonight?” Kouki looked over at his soulmate, unable to stop smiling at the cute way his nose was wrinkling. “Oi, you love pizza!” Chamu protested, though he was grinning. “You told me once you could probably live off pizza and black Coke, remember?” “But ... I was looking forward to Kouki's cooking,” Kana mumbled, shuffling forward to plop on the couch next to him. Kouki couldn't resist, immediately sliding an arm around his young soulmate. “Chamu-kun got hungry without us, you were pretty upset for ... awhile, love,” he said softly, encouraging the young omega to lean against him. “But if you want something else, I don't mind cooking for you.” “I don't want to be any trouble,” the omega said with a slight shake of his head. “Pizza is fine.” “All right. And I promise to cook for you tomorrow. Are you going to be okay to talk to your dad tomorrow? Apparently he's coming back, but I could always refuse to ring him up if you don't think you can handle seeing him again.” “W-what? W-why? No. No, I ... no. I can't,” Kana stammered, shaking his head again, more urgently this time. “I can't. Please... please don't make me....” “Shh, hey now, it's okay, baby, I'll take care of it,” Kouki soothed, gently pressing Kana into his chest. “Well, if he's not going to face him, it doesn't matter, but I was going to suggest maybe inviting Tokai-sensei over? I don't know when Kobayashi-tousan means to come back, though, so....” “Would that help?” Kouki asked his trembling soulmate. It wasn't a bad idea, really, and he might just do it anyway. He wouldn't push Kana into talking to his father if it was just going to upset him again, but having the lawyer there might just shut down the beta's attempt to force his way into a confrontation. Maybe. “He won't listen to me anyway,” the omega mumbled, scooting closer, face practically pressed into Kouki's neck. Yeah, he was definitely going to have to call Junji later. And perhaps Mitsuki, too? If not for his worries for Kana's health, he would almost be tempted to suggest an impromptu Marvel movie viewing party, but he didn't want to overwhelm his omega. “All right, Kacchan, I'll take care of it, don't worry. It's not like he can get into the building without being noticed. I'll let the desk know to stop him if he comes in tomorrow.” “Will they actually do that? They didn't bat an eyelash at me earlier. Or when it was the four of us after lunch,” Chamu said, frowning. “Junji-kun's been a friend of mine for years now and I added you and Kacchan as long-term guests of mine when we came home from the hospital,” he replied, shrugging lightly. “And that's fine? You can just do that?” “Well, I do own the whole building,” Kouki said, grinning a bit as he watched Chamu's reaction. “But even if I didn't, yes, it would be fine. The security desk is there for the comfort and peace of mind of the tenants, keeping an eye on who's coming and going is part of the job.” “... ok, but I still insist on paying rent when I move in here, dammit,” Chamu huffed, though there was a definite lack of matching disgruntlement in his scent. “Yes, yes, you were quite clear on that before,” he replied, still grinning. “I'll have something unofficial but fair drawn up by the time you graduate.” “... what about me?” Kana asked, the first tendrils of fear leaking back into his scent yet again. “As far as the building management agency will be concerned, you are both semi- permanent guests. It's not something you need to worry about beyond that, Kacchan. Right now all I want you to worry about is your recovery.” “But....” “No buts,” he interrupted, pressing a finger to his lips. “I said I would take care of you and I will. No matter what. You just worry about taking care of yourself and getting better, okay?” Kana's sigh didn't sound entirely accepting, but he would take it. To be honest, he was expecting Kana to argue this point with him several more times in the months ahead. And he was just fine with it. Hell, he was even looking forward to it a bit if it meant his mate was becoming more strongly his own person. Besides, a little arguing was good for the soul. ***** Fractured ***** Chapter Notes Ok, so this is the start of the heavy dark shit chapters and I feel a tiny bit bad about that, but... As noted in the updated tags, there's abuse, underage sex/rape (just talked about in this chapter), and past character deaths. Also, the face claim for the Atsushi in this fic is Satou_Atsushi, aka EXILE ATSUSHI, and NOT Sakurai Atsushi. As a reminder, Kouki, Minase, and Junji are all 36, Kana and Chamu are 18, and Higuchi Yutaka is a happy 26. Yeah, I know, it's weird writing him as younger and it's going to increase the chances of confusion of which Atsushi I used, but I couldn't resist that cute face. Kana had been restless all day, to the point where Junji had threatened to call his doctor on him if he didn't stop fretting and pacing. Not that he had much stamina for pacing anyway. “Deep breaths, dearest. You're safe here, completely.” “That's what I thought before,” Kana muttered, though he let himself be pulled down onto the couch next to the older omega. Junji tsked at him softly but he was more surprised by the way Chamu practically shoved a PS4 controller at him. “I'm bored and you need something else to do, so Lego Star Wars it is. Relax, Kacchan, your dad isn't coming up here unless and until you say want to see him again.” “But –.” “No more buts!” Chamu protested. “Let Kouki-san and Junji-san take care of your dad. You, play with me!” “Okay, okay,” he said, biting back a sigh. They hadn't played together in weeks now, too busy with school and everything else. Of course this wasn't Chamu's game system, so they were going to have to start a whole new game, but that was fine, too. Easier to do a complete clear the second time around anyway. And if it could distract him for even just a few minutes, he'd take it. ~*~*~ Kouki allowed himself a deep breath as he stepped out of the elevator, Junji at his side. And immediately regretted it as he was practically assaulted by the scent of an overly agitated beta. Junji started coughing two seconds later, though he suspected it was an act. Certainly it was enough to tip off one of the security agents who pulled a small dispenser from under the desktop, spritzing the air twice. Junji took another moment to wave his hand in front of his face as the scent neutralizer cut through the air, though Kouki doubted it would be effective for very long with as irate as Kana's father was looking at that moment. “I will not stand here and be insulted like this, Morihito-san! And you have no right to keep me from my child!” “Kana is eighteen and he has told us he doesn't wish to see you.” “He is still my child!” “Kobayashi-san allow me to introduce Kana's lawyer, Tokai Junji,” Kouki said with every measure of stiff formality he could muster. “Tokai-sensei is here as Kana's legal representative.” “Here's a copy of the court order granting Kobayashi Kana-kun rights as an emancipated teenager and a copy of the power of attorney he has signed with me. All notarized and filed with the appropriate municipal clerk.” “Now wait just a minute....” “You and your wife pushed us into this position, Kobayashi-san, by leaving the way you did,” Junji said, his voice deathly quiet. It wasn't entirely true, the hospital could have worked around Kana's parents leaving the city the way they had, but it would have been dangerous, particularly if some emergency complication had come up. Considering the risk of infection in abdominal wounds, the court order and power of attorney had simply been the most sensible course. “You had no right,” Kobayashi muttered. A polite cough from one of the security agents and Kouki swallowed a sigh. “Perhaps this is not the best place for this conversation,” he said, gesturing towards the elevator. The anger was no less present and he was hardly enjoying the prospect of being in an enclosed space with the man, but the foyer was no place to be discussing Kana's private business. Especially when they had another option. One that wouldn't breach his promise that Kana wouldn't have to see his father again until he was ready. ~*~*~ Chamu rolled his shoulders and rubbed the back of his neck, a low, involuntary groan escaping his lips. Waiting for Kana's father to resurface had been a bit nerve-wracking, especially with the way Kana had kept getting up to pace the lounge, and he was more than a little impressed that Kouki had managed to get Kana to take a nap in the midst of the omega's own nerves and worry. Maybe it was a sign that the two really were soulmates? Or else Kouki had used some sort of alpha mojo on his best friend. Or both. Either way, after his own night of less than productive sleeping, he was a little jealous. And then Kana's father had finally turned up and Chamu had found himself functionally alone in the penthouse apartment. As the handful of minutes dragged longer, he had found himself pacing Kouki's lounge, worried that something had gone horribly wrong. What, he couldn't imagine, but something. After all how long could it take to tell the man he wasn't welcome and to stop trying to pressure Kana into going back to Fukui? Well, okay, put that way, the absence wasn't so strange. Kana's parents had both clearly gone off the paranoia deep end and Chamu couldn't imagine his best friend's dad taking the news of his son's sudden independence particularly well in light of that. But he still hated the waiting and the not knowing. When the front door opened again, he popped up off the couch and hurried over, relieved but also worried to see only Kouki coming into the apartment. “Date night,” Kouki said with a wry grin, as if that should explain everything. “Is Kacchan still sleeping then?” “Yeah, I was thinking of maybe waking him but then if I did that and you weren't back quickly enough, he would have been climbing the walls in anxiety by the time you did get back so I just left it,” Chamu said, shrugging and rubbing the back of his neck. He'd be glad when this day was over and he could spend some quality time in a hot bath. He glanced sidelong at the alpha and sighed. Nothing for it but to plunge ahead full speed, he supposed. “It's ... not really my place, but we need to talk. About Kana's past and his brother.” “His dad already told us everything, that's part of what took so long.” “No offense, but that's not even remotely possible,” Chamu countered, shaking his head. “Kana's parents only know as much as Kana has told them and between the accident and what he'd never told them before the accident, what they know is little more than surface. And Kacchan's repressed almost everything to do with Atsu-nii, to the point where I bet he told you he's a virgin.” The sharp look that got him from Kouki had been completely expected, but that didn't actually make it any easier to bear. “What are you saying?” Kouki asked and Chamu hated that cold note in the alpha's voice that, to his ears, sounded a little too much like someone on the verge of feeling completely betrayed. “It's not like that, but it's ... it should really be Kacchan to explain everything, but like I said, he's repressed practically everything. All he remembers anymore is the car accident when he was fifteen,” he said, sighing as he moved back over to the couch. “And that Atsu-nii and Hiro-nii and Yuta-nii were all best friends and that that's how we met Hayato-senpai.” “His father already told me about your brother and how the families had wanted Atsushi to be Kana's mate,” Kouki said as he sat down on one of the flanking armchairs. “You have to understand, Fukui is, like, 90% betas. We don't even have an alpha high school, nearly all the alphas in the prefecture end up going to one of the alpha schools in Gifu or Shiga. And omegas are even rarer, Kacchan's the only male omega in our high school. With all the ... the misconceptions, our families thought it would be better for Kacchan to be mated to an alpha they knew would be good to him instead of taking a chance on his unknown soulmate or some other alpha. They started telling Atsu-nii that Kana would be his within a few weeks of Kacchan's birth and that was probably the first mistake. “I don't know, maybe it was just aniki's personality, but really ... they'd promised an eight year old alpha that Kana was his future mate. I'm pretty sure the only reason he waited as long as he did was because Kacchan didn't have his first heat until he was twelve.” “Waited for what?” Kouki asked with a frown and there was that brittle note again. Chamu hated hearing that, but he couldn't exactly stop the story now. “Kana's heat caught him by surprise at school, the nurse sent him home. Of course the school nurse was an idiot male beta who didn't see the problem with sending Kana home, alone, at twelve, while his parents were both at work. Or thought to call Kana's parents to tell them. I don't know how Atsu-nii found out about it, it's not like we lived near each other even back then, but there was the mate he'd been promised, suddenly in a full heat. By the time Kana's parents came home, it was too late to do anything, Atsu-nii had already bitten him. Not that he admitted to it. He said he'd taken Kacchan to a pharmacy to dump his heat, but if that's what happened, it wasn't until after he'd bitten and rutted him hard. Kacchan could hardly walk the next day, but no one really thought that was too unusual, so at first no one questioned it.” “Someone must have questioned it at some point.” “Kacchan's older brother Hiro came over late that night, I heard him and Atsu- nii arguing pretty loudly in the back yard. He came over accusing Atsu-nii of bonding Kana, said he could smell Atsu-nii all over him - I never understood how - and that he'd found the bite mark and the bruises and everything. Atsu- nii tried to deny it at first, before Hiro-nii mentioned the bite. After that, he admitted it and then dared Hiro to do anything about it. Sure, Kacchan was way too young, but the only way to undo a mating bite is death. And sure, Hiro- nii could have reported it ... and then the whole city would have found out about the scandal, our family names would both have been dragged through the mud. Atsu-nii would have been arrested, tried, and convicted of forcing a mating bite on a minor ... and Kana would've been made to suffer through every one of his heats for years while his mate served his jail term.” “That's ... that's not how it works....,” Kouki said, shaking his head. “W-what?” “Sorry, I ... I shouldn't've interrupted, it doesn't matter now anyway,” the blond alpha replied, running a hand through his hair. “So your brother Atsushi was a lying, selfish asshole and since your parents are all betas who probably wouldn't know the alpha-omega codes if they were smacked in the face with them ... what exactly happened to Kacchan? All his father seemed to think I needed to know what that Kana had been obsessed with your brother since puberty, over the moon puppy love according to him, and that he'd taken it hard when Atsushi and Hiro died.” “But.... Ok, no, you're right, my story first, but you're explaining later,” Chamu muttered, tapping fingers on his thigh a moment to put the story back in its proper order in his head. “Anyway, um, Hiro-nii said if he caught Atsu-nii forcing himself on Kacchan again, he'd tear his throat out. Except it didn't ... it was like Kacchan was drawn to him. And of course our parents didn't know about the argument between our brothers, so they just thought it was a natural attraction, that their little plan to protect poor, innocent omega Kana was working. I ... I wanted to tell them it wasn't, but Hiro-nii wasn't saying anything and Kacchan seemed really happy and it ... it wasn't like aniki was abusing him, from what I could tell. Kana didn't have another heat for six months, but he was twelve, no one thought it was weird. It's puberty, irregular heats are normal, right? And then the next two were only two months apart and somehow Atsu-nii was always there to take him to the clinic and his mom was just grateful not to have to leave work early.” “There's a but coming, I can practically smell it,” Kouki said in an effort to lighten the mood. “Things kinda just continued like everything was normal. Kacchan trailed after aniki like a happy puppy and no one tried to stop it. Or seemed to think twice about if it was okay for the two of them to be alone together. I don't know if they just didn't think about it or if it was decided, well, since aniki was supposed to be Kana's future mate anyway, it didn't matter? Maybe a bit of both. I know I certainly didn't think about it, but then I wasn't any older than Kana, so what did I know? Nothing.” “But....” “If his dad already told you about the accident... he was in the back seat, got away with barely a scratch. I ... I don't know if Hiro-nii just hadn't known or if he'd been keeping it a secret. Yuta-nii picked it up right away. Our parents were ... Yuta-nii offered to take care of Kacchan and me for a few days while our parents took care of everything else, picked us up from the hospital even. And that first night, he sat Kacchan down and demanded to know what aniki had been doing to him. Kacchan was so confused, Yuta-nii was livid, I didn't understand.... And then he started getting the whole story out of Kana and I.... I was fifteen and I was being forced to face that the brother I had loved more than anyone, who had just been killed in a senseless car accident, had forced a mate bite on my best friend and gotten him pregnant. Twice. Kacchan had a complete breakdown, there was no way he could carry a pregnancy to term, we took him to an emergency clinic run by one of Yuta-nii's older cousins so there weren't any questions. It was probably the worst night of my life, watching him go through all that. And then it got worse cuz the next morning he'd pretty obviously suppressed practically everything. He couldn't even remember, still doesn't remember me having to drag him, screaming, away from Atsu-nii's body. Guess that should've been my first tip-off that things hadn't been right, huh?” “You're lying!” Chamu's whole body flinched at the accusation, the raw pain in Kana's voice. Dammit. He'd wanted Kana to face reality, but not like this. “You're lying! Stop lying! It's not true! Kouki, it's not true, it's not. It can't be! Why would you say such horrible things, Chamu???” “Why would I make up lies like this?” Chamu countered, pushing up from the couch to meet Kana's glares head on. “I loved Atsu-nii more than anything back then and it made me blind! And you're the one that ended up suffering for it!” “It's not true! Atsu-nii never... he would never have... and Hiro-nii and Yuta- nii never would have let him! You know they wouldn't!! Why are you trying to ruin everything?!?” “I'm not! But goddammit, Kacchan, you soulmate deserves to know the truth! What, you think he's not going to notice you aren't a virgin when you two finally do have sex?!? And what happens when he mates you and gets all your memories? Or do you really think you can keep suppressing everything forever?” “Chamu....” “I'm not suppressing anything because it never happened!” “Kana....” “Yuta-nii and I took turns sitting with you all night after that abortion, don't tell me it didn't happen!” “Okay, shh, come on, you two,” Kouki interrupted, somehow managing to get an arm around each of them and pulling them close to him. Chamu could feel himself shaking with hurt and anger, more hurt than anger, and yet the unexpected kindness - not to mention being suddenly pulled against a shaking Kana - was enough to take much of the wind out of his sails. “Come on, group hug,” the alpha crooned softly, insisting. “I'll call Mitsuki later, get him to give us a referral to a gyno for you, Kacchan - you'll go if I have to hog tie you, so don't bother arguing - that should settle some of that. You should be seeing a gyno sometime soon anyway, I'm sure. In the mean time ... what if I called this Yuta-san and talked to him about this? Sounds like he'd be able to settle the truth of the matter, yes?” “Yuta-nii will just tell you I'm right,” Kana mumbled. “All right then, that settles it. So which one of you wants to give me his number?” “I'll text him,” Chamu muttered, slipping out of Kouki's loose hold to dig up his phone. He just hoped this didn't somehow end up making things worse. Then again, he wasn't all that sure how things could get worse. And then he got a text back from Yutaka and felt like he had underestimated the universe's ability to screw with him. “Yuta-nii says he can meet us for dinner if we don't mind waiting another hour. And give him directions.” “E-eh? What's he doing in Tokyo??” Kana stammered, his own anger either forgotten or somehow soothed away by the alpha that was still holding him. “Some year-end conference thing. He says thanks for giving him an excuse to skip out of the last session. Um, I'm not sure how to direct him here. The conference is at Todai, though, so...?” “Here in Bunkyo?” Kouki asked with a brief look of surprise. “Or the Komaba campus in Meguro?” “Um, hold on, lemme ask,” he mumbled. “Oh, uh, guess we're both wrong, he's at the Institute for Cosmic Ray Research in Kashiwa?” “Unless he wants to wait for us to drive all the way out there,” Kouki said with a thoughtful hum, pulling out his own phone. Chamu was almost impressed with how the alpha was able to research on his phone while still keeping an arm around Kana. “Ok, I'm sending you train directions, if he'll meet us in Sendagi, we can pick him up there in half an hour.” “Us?” Chamu repeated even as he forwarded Kouki's directions to Yutaka. “Neither of you drive and this one isn't going to let me go anywhere without him, clearly,” Kouki explained, grinning as he put his phone down and stroked Kana's hair. “I just assumed you'd want to come, too, but if you'd rather stay here....” “No, I'll come,” he insisted. “That one's going to fall asleep in the car again anyway,” he added with a grin. Kana huffed and flipped him off, but after the anger earlier, he would take that as a good sign. ~*~*~ “Yuta-nii!” “Tch, all right, let's have a look at you then, Kacchan,” an unfamiliar alpha said. Kouki couldn't have said what he had been expecting, but this tiny bundle of alpha wasn't it. The cheerful grin that had appeared upon first seeing Chamu and Kana had already vanished into a worried frown as the alpha fussed over Kana. A polite cough was enough to get everyone's attention, however. “Ah, sorry,” Kana mumbled, flustered as he stepped back over to Kouki's side, taking his arm and squeezing it with a shy smile. “Yuta-nii, this is my soulmate, Morihito Kouki. Kouki, this is Higuchi Yutaka, Hayato-senpai's older brother and Atsu-nii and Hiro-nii's best friend from childhood.” Sharp eyes flicked between Kouki and Kana for a moment, the shorter alpha's frown deepening. “... I was wondering when those two would come back to haunt us all,” Yutaka said softly, reaching out briefly to brush fingers against Kana's cheek. Kouki had to bite the inside of his own cheek to keep from snarling at another alpha being so intimate with his omega, a reaction that surprised even himself. Maybe it was just because he didn't know this Higuchi at all, but there was an obvious closeness between him and Kana that had him feeling the first whispers of jealousy. “No, you're right, Morihito-san, I apologize. Kacchan was never meant for me, and unlike Atsushi-kun, I was never under any delusions otherwise. I wasn't thinking, of course you're sensitive, especially after what Chamu-kun's had to tell you.” “Yuta-nii, wha... what are you saying?” Kana stammered, betrayal flaring through his scent. “Why don't we pause this conversation until we're somewhere more private?” he suggested, gesturing towards the parking exit. “The boys were surprised to hear you were in town. What brings you to Tokyo this close to year end? If you don't mind me saying, aren't you a bit young to be a research fellow?” “Oh, no, I'm still in graduate school,” the younger alpha said with a light laugh. “Sensei brought me along because I'm the only grad student at Fukudai showing any interest in astrophysics and gravity research. He was disappointed when I asked to skip the evening session, but my family,” and he paused a moment to grab Chamu in a sideways hug, “needs me more than he does tonight. Family first, ne?” “Astrophysics, eh? Well, that's something I know absolutely nothing about, apart from what you see on TV shows, which I'm guessing is mostly fake,” Kouki admitted with a laugh. “Theoretical astrophysics, no less, so I won't bore you with the details,” Higuchi added, laughing as well. “Ahh but Haya-kun will be happy to hear you're doing better, Kacchan.” “Oh don't let this outing fool you,” Chamu said with a laugh. “If we were going any further, he'd be falling asleep in the car.” “Oi! Chamu-kun!!” Kana protested. “What?? You know I'm right~” Kouki was content to let the boys bicker it out while he drove, though he couldn't help keeping an eye on both Kana - who was wilting fast, draining any real power out of his own arguments - and Higuchi. For all Chamu's talk in previous visits about all alphas being knotheaded assholes - something Kouki was beginning to think had more to do with his brother's actions than any real lived experience with many alphas - the beta teen was certainly relaxed and at ease with Higuchi. Which was, admittedly, probably a good thing. And probably a sign that he needed to relax with the young alpha as well. “Yeah, okay, jealous. Incredibly jealous. Kacchan, this is wildly unfair of you,” Higuchi teased as he looked around the great room, bag in hand. “Acchan would be purple about now. Don't you forget about us little people now, Kacchan!” “Mou, Yuta-niiiii,” Kana whined, flopping on the couch. “... are we sure he's up for this?” the younger alpha asked, frowning up at Kouki even as he sat down next to Kana. “He looks like he could pass out at any moment.” “All you have to do is tell him Atsu-nii wasn't a ... a rapist pig asshole,” Kana muttered, shooting another glower at Chamu. “How hard can that be?” “He still doesn't remember?” Higuchi asked, turning his frown to Chamu. “He overheard me telling Kouki-san about the night of the accident and accused me of making the whole thing up to try to ruin things between them,” Chamu said, taking one of the armchairs for himself. “Because Atsu-nii never did those things!” his omega insisted, scowling again before turning plaintive eyes on Higuchi. “Yuta-nii, tell him. Tell him it's not true. I'm not damaged, dammit!” “Oh sweetheart, of course you aren't,” the young alpha said, hugging him close. “And I know you thought you loved Acchan, but he wasn't what you've turned him into.” “As much as I hate upsetting my soulmate, I need to know the truth, as best as possible. If you can help with that, Higuchi-san....” Kouki sighed, settling on Kana's other side. Already he could practically taste the omega's upset, the brittle way he was sitting between them, poised to object. “No. I'm not going to sit here listening to more lies!” the omega said suddenly, surging to his feet. Not unexpected and Kouki immediately pulled him back down into his lap. “Kacchan, listen to me,” he murmured, using both his voice and his touch to try to soothe him. “If we're going to build a future together, then we need to be honest about your past. And no matter what, no matter what the truth is, I'm not leaving you, okay? I won't let you pretend the past didn't happen and I won't make you face it alone. We're in this together, Kacchan.” Kouki was actually a little surprised when Kana turned and pressed his face into his chest again. And yet he was grateful that he wasn't trying harder to escape. He couldn't even begin to imagine what his poor sweet omega was going through having to face all this, but he was determined to see it through. “Please understand, Hiro-kun and I were in college when Kacchan hit puberty, we weren't around as much as maybe we should have been,” Higuchi said with a low sigh. “Acchan had always been someone used to getting his way, stubborn to a fault, but he'd also always been patient with Kana. Gentle, even generous. We'd never had reason to think he would behave in any way other than honorably.” “It's not true,” Kana sobbed, fisting his hands in Kouki's shirt. “I won't hear it, it's not true.” “Maybe ... maybe he isn't ready for this,” the young alpha said with a soft frown. ”You may be right,” Kouki conceded, “but I need to know, so let's cut straight to it, shall we? Did Atsushi-san mate him and has he really been pregnant twice?” “Yes, definitely to the first, and I'm honestly not completely sure to the second. The breaking of the bond is probably why he's been able to suppress all the memories. He admitted to a miscarriage just before he completely melted down and he was certainly pregnant at the time of the accident, though not very far along. Considering he was in complete medical crisis, my cousin helped terminate the pregnancy. Without parental consent or knowledge, so you'll forgive me if I decline to offer him as a corroborating witness.” “No, I understand. You and Chamu-kun are enough for me. Will any of this show in a gynecological exam though?” “I'm an astrophysicist, not a doctor, so I really don't know,” Higuchi confessed with a shrug. “Maybe? It's been six years since they were mated, three since the bond was broken, I don't know if there'd be anything left to show of it, other than the broken hymen. I don't even know if you'd get those suppressed memories when you mate him if he's still denying them.” “I can't believe you people!” Kana exclaimed, jerking himself away from Kouki. Or at least that had been his intent, though the young omega wasn't nearly strong enough to actually break his hold on him. “I trusted you! I trusted all of you! And thi-.” It was underhanded and dishonest of him, but Kouki didn't care, tugging Kana back down and kissing him, hard. Alpha instincts flared brightly, a burning need to protect but also to claim this omega as his own. Peripherally he was aware of Higuchi shifting uncomfortably on the other end of the couch, but his priority was Kana. The rage was still there, that someone would treat his soulmate with such disregard and for what? Not bragging rights, since it seemed the families hadn't even realized. “Kana, listen to me,” he murmured, cupping the omega's face in his hands. “No one is betraying you, baby. And nothing Higuchi-san has said has changed how I feel about you. I love you.” Kana crumbled, shuddering with heavy sobs, and Kouki wasn't surprised when Higuchi got up and urged Chamu out of the room with him. He wasn't sure they had actually accomplished anything, but at least now he knew the truth, even if it was a truth he would have rather never known. Yet ignorance wasn't the answer. He had no idea how Hiyori of all people could have picked up on this while he himself had been completely unaware of it, but at least now he knew. And as the old saying went, knowing was half the battle. ***** Fallout ***** Chapter Notes Explicit underage sex scene in flashback in this chapter. Kana has a couple flashes and his PTSD is finally breaking through, so.... And as a reminder, the FC for the Atsushi in this fic is still Satou Atsushi, not Sakurai Atsushi. ;) See the end of the chapter for more notes Kana bolted upright with a strangled cry, shuddering with a sudden chill. And then Kouki was there, wrapping arms around him and coaxing him back down against his chest. Shivering, he pressed his nose into the crook of Kouki's neck and closed his eyes, trying to lose himself in his soulmate's scent. Just a dream. “Want to talk about it?” Kouki murmured softly. Kana shook his head but while Kouki sighed at him, the alpha didn't press. Talking about it would only make the nightmare more real. He would rather not talk about it and maybe, hopefully, possibly have it go away completely on its own. “I'm here for you, love. It's all right.” He wasn't so sure it was, curling up closer to his alpha. But it would be. Just as soon as he could shove down even just the memories of their lies. He didn't understand why Chamu and Yutaka had said the things they had, but he knew they weren't true. It wasn't possible, he would know if he had been mated and pregnant, it was all malicious lies. He didn't understand why, but maybe he wasn't meant to understand it. “Shh, go back to sleep, love,” Kouki mumbled, slowly rubbing his back. That was probably the best idea yet. A deep breath and he tried not to think about anything anymore. ~*~*~ “My beautiful flower. No one will love you like I do. No one could.” Kana woke in a cold sweat, panic washing over him in waves. No, it wasn't real. Atsushi was dead, there was no way his ghost could be haunting him now. And yet he could clearly hear Atsushi's voice ringing in his ears, even though he had never said those words. Everything was wrong, everything felt wrong. Sobbing, Kana flung himself free of clinging bed sheets, blindly searching for the way out of his current hell. Out. He needed out. To breathe air that wasn't weighted down with a hundred different scents, none of them right. If he could just find his way.... ~*~*~ Unbridled fear scent grabbed Kouki by the throat and threatened to drown him. Clawing his way up from sleep, Kouki reached for his omega only to be pushed away. Rubbing his face briefly, he then tried again, but Kana's fear scent spiked into panic as the young omega flailed free of the bedding. Critical seconds slipped away as Kouki watched his soulmate give in to the panic, trying to flee without much luck. Getting up from the bed, he crossed the room to fold his arms around the teenaged omega. He was completely unprepared for the way Kana stiffened and then tried to fight against him. “Kana....” “No! Don't touch me! Let go!!” Kouki was too startled to actually stop Kana from breaking away from him, blinking as he watched his terrified omega stumble towards the door out onto the terrace. A beat and he caught the omega again, pulling him back against his chest. “Kacchan, wake up, it's okay. It's just me, baby, you're safe.” As suddenly as it had all started, Kana was sagging towards the floor, trying to melt into a puddle of low whimpers and soft whines. “Shhh, it's okay, baby, I've got you,” he soothed, sinking onto the floor along with him, cradling him close. His own instincts were at war with each other, the urge to possess fighting with the urge to protect and calm. And beyond all that, the need to understand just what the hell was going on in Kana's head. Was Kana having another mental breakdown? Had he caused this with his insisting on getting the truth from Higuchi? Yet how could he have done otherwise? After the things Chamu had told him, how could he have not gone looking for answers? He had to know the truth. “We'll get through this together, Kacchan,” he murmured, even though he wasn't sure his soulmate could even hear him. “K-kou...ki?” “That's right, baby, it's me. You're home now, sweetheart,” he soothed, stroking fingers through his hair. “I... I don't feel good,” the young omega mumbled, slumped against his chest. “I know, baby, I know,” he said softly. “Is it a sharp pain or more of a dull ache?” “Everything aches,” Kana mumbled in reply. “I think ... I think even my hair hurts....” “Think you can get back in bed for me?” he asked softly, glad to see Kana's sense of humor struggling to make a comeback. Kana groaned and Kouki had to bite back a laugh as he shifted to lift the teen into his arms. Far too light, in his opinion, but that was something they could work on going forward. Especially if Kana was going to be living with him from now on, as he was hoping would be the case. Yet another thing they were going to have to discuss, probably sooner rather than later. Then again, Kouki had every intention of insisting Kana stay with him until he was healed, so perhaps a full discussion could wait? He didn't want to be the one to take away Kana's agency, never wanted that, but with everything else going on, well, Hiyori was right. Kana needed him and that meant keeping Kana at his side. “I'll be right back, sweetheart,” he murmured, brushing a quick kiss to his forehead. “Chocolate or ginger?” “Huh?” “Cookie, love. I've got double chocolate or ginger-molasses. You can't take your medicine on an empty stomach.” “Oh, um, chocolate, please. And cocoa?” “At three in the morning? How about some chocolate milk instead, so we don't melt your pill,” Kouki suggested, smiling and gently ruffling his hair. Kana huffed as he settled against the pillows, but he didn't argue. It was good enough for now. ~*~*~ Kana had mixed feelings about seeing Yutaka again the next morning, though he didn't have much time to even think about what all he wanted to say to the man before Hayato's older brother was out the door with a cheerful promise to be back that evening. “Shouldn't he be going home?” Kana mumbled as he sat down at the breakfast bar. “The conference runs too late to make the last connection to Fukui,” Chamu said with a shrug. “And for some odd reason he'd rather come back here than spend a night in a hotel room. And since Kouki-san invited him back....” Kana huffed, not really wanting an argument first thing in the morning. Though he couldn't help a smile when Kouki put a mug of coffee in front of him, perfectly made with just the right amount of milk and sugar. “I was thinking,” Kouki said as he set bowls of rice and miso in front of Kana as well, “that if it warms up a bit more today, perhaps we could go for a walk later? There are a couple parks on the other side of the Ochanomizu University schools that shouldn't be too far for you to handle.” “Do we have to?” Kana asked, annoyed at the whine in his voice. “You need daily exercise, love,” Kouki admonished softly. “I'm sure you'd rather lay on my couch forever, but that's not going to help your recovery.” “But it's so cold outside and there's not going to be anything to do at the park that doesn't involve being very cold while doing it,” Kana muttered. “Can't we do something else?” “His therapist did say not to push it this week,” Chamu added quietly. “He's not quite on bed rest anymore, but they also don't want him doing much of anything right now to keep from aggravating his incision.” “Fair enough,” Kouki conceded with a small smile. “Not like the city is going anywhere, it can wait for you to be feeling better.” Maybe it was silly, but hearing that was enough to make him feel better. Almost as if last night hadn't even happened. Maybe it hadn't? Except he was pretty sure he wouldn't have made all that up and it wouldn't explain Yutaka being there. But if Kouki could act like nothing had changed, then maybe nothing had really changed. And that was a calming thought. Kana spent half the morning nervous Chamu was going to bring up his lies again, but instead the omega found himself settled against Kouki's side while his alpha engaged the beta in a series of Mario Kart games. He wasn't so sure it was the best game for two men who weren't exactly friends in the first place, especially when Kouki would, in his excitement, jostle him out of position. By the third match, Kana had learned better, curling up in the opposite corner of the couch, half watching and half fiddling with a game on Chamu's phone. “We should really get you a new phone,” Kouki said during a break between rounds. “My old one was on my parent's account, the insurance should cover a replacement when I go home,” he said with a shrug, glancing over to where Chamu had disappeared down the hall to go to the bathroom. “There's no reason to wait that long, you realize,” Kouki countered, reaching over to ruffle his hair gently. “Unless you want me to take you home sooner, it could be months before you're fully cleared, you know that, right?” “I ...,” but Kana wasn't sure what to say, scooting back over to curl up against Kouki's chest. Going home would mean dealing with his parents and he wasn't ready for that. He certainly wasn't ready to do it on his own. “We should probably make you another appointment with Junji-kun so you can sort out your options,” Kouki suggested, tucking arms around him and holding him close. He knew his alpha was right, but it didn't make anything easier. One moment and his whole life had changed. He wasn't ready. ~*~*~ Fingers combed through his hair, tilted his chin up. In the low light, he couldn't see anything clearly, but it didn't matter. He knew that scent, the lips that brushed against his own. “We shouldn't,” he mumbled. “My parents....” “Completely asleep, they'll never know if you're quiet.” Even as he started to argue more, his alpha pushed him down into his futon. The scent of his alpha, aroused and demanding, blotted out everything else, even his thoughts of resisting, and he melted into the futon, spreading his legs to welcome his alpha even closer. “Atsu–,” he started, a finger pressing to his lips to silence him before he could even finish his alpha's name. “Be quiet, I said. You don't want your parents catching us, do you? They won't understand, you know. They'll blame you for everything and they won't listen.” A shiver of fear skittered down his spine and he shook his head. He didn't want to think about how his parents would react if they caught them. They didn't understand anything these days, his father in particular. They tried, but they were betas, they didn't understand what it was like for him. At least he had Atsushi, at least Atsushi understood, even if he was an alpha and not an omega. A warm hand trailed up his thigh, distracting him from his own thoughts. He could almost feel the purr of pleasure when Atsushi realized Kana wasn't wearing anything under his night shirt. He craved that glow of approval as Atsushi's hands pushed his shirt up. It was still a little embarrassing, being practically naked in front of his alpha, even in the dark, even though they were mated. And yet he couldn't deny how good it felt, those hands on his skin, the kisses and touches only his alpha could give him. As long as he could be with Atsushi, nothing else mattered. He wasn't ready, he was never ready. Even after all this time, the sudden feeling of being filled by his alpha's cock always took his breath away. So big, it felt like it would split him in two. And then his alpha would start moving and even thinking became next to impossible, his entire being focused on the feeling of his alpha thrusting into him again and again. Kana shuddered as he was pushed to the edge, slick and cum leaking out onto the bed. Atsushi's knot swelled inside him and he had to bite back a moan as the fullness that bound them together became almost unbearable. “You're mine,” Atsushi whispered as they lay locked together, waiting for his knot to subside. “My beautiful little flower.” ~*~*~ Kana's low moan, combined with everything else that had been happening in the last week, was all that was needed to pull Kouki up from sleep. Rolling over, he reached out for his omega, surprised to find him shaking and covered in a cold sweat. “Kacchan?” “It... it didn't happen. Tell me it didn't,” the young omega mumbled, suddenly pressed close against him. Kouki didn't need to ask, curling his arms around Kana with a low sigh. “I will never lie to you, baby,” he murmured, stroking fingers through damp black strands. “What did you see?” “I ... I dreamt that Atsu-nii ... he was in my bedroom and he was ... he was.... And in the dream I wanted it! I wanted him, I would have done anything to make him happy, and ... and.... Tell me it was just a dream!” his soulmate whined. And in that moment, more than anything, Kouki wished he could. That he could wipe away the nightmares so easily, erase the hurtful past that his soulmate had suppressed. “I wish I could, baby,” he murmured. “Dreams are tricky like that.” The noise Kana made at that was heartbreaking and again Kouki found himself wishing he could erase that hurt. It was possible that this dream had been nothing more than the product of suggestion, but what little evidence he had suggested that Chamu's story held at least some truth to it. Whatever Kana had dreamt, it might not have been completely factual, but it had probably held more than a few roots in things his soulmate had actually done and felt. Mating an omega, especially a pre-teen who hadn't had the time to set his own mind on things, could have wide-ranging and deep seated impacts on the omega. Even in adults, a mating bite could have a marked effect on the omega's state of mind; it was no surprise to Kouki to hear Kana might have been so completely devoted to Atsushi. At the same time he could practically taste how deeply it was bothering his soulmate, the idea that he could have been sexually involved with Atsushi, to the point of wanting their liaisons. Kouki stifled a sigh as he cradled Kana close to his chest, curling protective arms about him and wishing he knew what to say to make everything better for him. He accepted that fighting the past was a waste of effort. Atsushi was dead and gone, he gained nothing by fighting his ghost. Kana was his now, that was all that really mattered to him. He knew and accepted that he was going to have to be gentle with his omega, but then he had already been planning to do that. Really, only the context had changed. “I'm sorry,” Kana mumbled, weakly trying to move away from him. “There's no reason for you to apologize, Kacchan,” he replied, not letting go of him. “Nothing's changed between us.” “But....” “Nothing has changed between us, Kacchan,” he repeated firmly. “But if what they said is even just a little bit true....” “It changes nothing for me, love,” Kouki insisted, turning Kana's chin to brush a brief kiss to his lips. “I still want the same things I did two days ago. And if you think I'm going to let you give up on us because some asshole thought he could steal you from me six years ago, you're wrong.” He could scent the tears even before he felt them trickling down Kana's cheeks. “But... but I'm just....” Interrupting, Kouki pressed a finger to Kana's lips. “Don't. You are my soulmate, Kobayashi Kana, I don't care what anyone else thinks or has to say about that. And if I choose to keep you cloistered here for now, it's nothing to do with being ashamed of you and everything to do with protecting you until you're strong enough to stand at my side, where you belong. You are a private citizen, being omega doesn't change that your past is shielded by our privacy laws, and I will fight anyone who tries to breach that. Knowing what that asshole did? It doesn't change anything, Kacchan, not really. You are still my soulmate and I still love you. And we will still wait until you decide you're ready for sex and you will always have control of your heats.” The small whimper wasn't even a surprise anymore, though the near-desperate kiss certainly was. Kouki tempered his own response, wary that Kana was acting out of a desire to please rather than a genuine wish for more intimate contact. At least the changed context made it easier to understand why Kana had such low self-esteem, even if the omega had suppressed most of his memories. “I ... I know I don't say it much,” Kana mumbled, curling into his chest once more, “but I do love you. I ... I think that's why it scares me so much. I ... I don't know what I'd do without you....” “That's one thing you don't ever have to worry about, baby,” he whispered, hugging him close again. “Now go back to sleep, okay?” A soft noise and Kana snuffled in closer. For all that it felt like they were stuck repeatedly rehashing old territory, Kouki still held out a flicker of hope that this time was different. ~*~*~ “You aren't coming home with us tonight, are you?” Kana glanced over at Chamu, surprised his best friend had even asked that question. Chamu had barely left his side at all in the past week, it was a completely bizarre question coming from him of all people. “You know I can't,” he said softly, fiddling with the hem of the throw wrapped around his shoulders, glancing sidelong at the kitchen where Kouki was making lunch with Yutaka. Classes didn't start back up again until Thursday so he was a little surprised to hear Chamu was leaving him already. At the same time, it made sense to go back with Yutaka, if only so Chamu didn't have to be traveling alone. And yet.... “Nah, I get it, just....” Kana couldn't help a flinch at that, but what else could he say? For one thing, he was pretty sure he wasn't actually cleared to travel long distance yet. Sakai-sensei was expecting to see him again in another couple of weeks to check on his incision and Kouki had been on the phone with another doctor's office earlier, setting up an appointment of some sort for a week from next Wednesday. And in truth it made him happy to know his soulmate was taking it as a given that Kana would be staying with him that long, even if it was something they probably ought to have discussed first. “Chamu-kun, I ... I know this isn't what we'd planned, but...,” he trailed off as he bit his lip, something bitter and angry hitting his nose again. Dammit, and he had been so sure they had been making real progress with Chamu and Kouki being on better terms. But maybe that had all been a lie? “Dammit, you guys can seriously smell that? How long have we been friends and you never told me about that??” Chamu said suddenly and Kana blinked up at him, startled and more than a little confused. “Kacchan, come on, you should know me better than that. Yeah, I'm mad, but I'm mad at your mom for making it better that you stay here. And I'm mad at whoever thought blowing up a Tokyo shopping center was a good idea. And I'm mad cuz going back to school without you there is going to be a total drag. Everyone's going to want to know why you're not around and I'm going to have to be the one to explain about the explosion and you having a soulmate here and shit, man, I don't even want to have to do that once, never mind twenty times as the story gets passed around the school and everyone decides they need to come to me to get the whole story!” For a long time Kana just sat there gaping at his friend, not sure what to make of all that. Neither of them were particularly popular at school, it hadn't occurred to him that anyone would care one way or the other if he wasn't there anymore. “What? Oh come on, Kacchan, someone from our school being a victim of a terror attack? That's definitely already made the news back home. Everyone's going to want to know all about it and with you not there, that means they're all going to come to me.” “But ... but I'm nobody. Why would anyone even care?” “In a week or two they probably won't,” Chamu agreed with a shrug. “But it's not like this is something that happens all the time, you know? So until then, well, it's kind of a big deal.” That ... didn't even make sense. What did they think he could possibly have to say? He'd been in the middle - well, okay, on the edges - of a terrorist bombing. Hell, he was lucky all he'd gotten out of it were some abdominal injuries and some cuts. He didn't even remember much of that day, something that was apparently common with trauma victims and the neurologist he'd seen the first day at the hospital had assured him it was not only perfectly normal but that he shouldn't worry if he never remembered the attack, as most people didn't. “Look, Kacchan, it's not like this is news to me or anything. You staying here, I mean. You have to do what's best for you and if that means staying here where that guy can take care of you while you're recovering, that's something you need to do and I'm okay with that.” “... he has a name, you know,” he mumbled, glancing over at Chamu and trying not to smile just yet. “Yeah, I know, I'm just ... still getting over the idea that you don't need me to protect you anymore cuz you've got him.” Kana could feel himself blushing hard at that, not sure how to respond. It wasn't like it was a secret - Chamu and Hayato had both been his stalwart protectors for years, especially after the accident. But it had always been one of those unspoken things, something none of them had ever really talked about so explicitly. As an omega, of course he would have someone to watch over him. It wasn't like he could be expected to defend himself, after all. Chamu had been there for him for so long now, he couldn't imagine his friend not being there for him. “I'm still going to want you around, silly,” he mumbled, swatting his thigh. “I'm always going to want you around. You're my best friend, Chamu-kun, you have been since forever. Nothing's going to change between us.” “Nah, of course things are gonna change, Kacchan,” Chamu countered, shaking his head a little even as he sat back down next to him on the couch. “Things have to change, change is part of life, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. I get it, you need him to be the things you need that I can't be. Just as long as you don't forget about me completely while I'm stuck back in Fukui, okay? In fact....” Chamu trailed off with a soft huff, biting his lip. Which of course only made Kana that much more curious to know what he wasn't saying. “In fact?” he prompted, gently nudging his friend. Chamu sighed heavily, shaking his head a moment before finally leaning back against the couch and glaring up at the ceiling. “In fact, I was thinking maybe you'd be better off just saying fuck it and taking the next couple of months to focus on your art. You know, building up a portfolio, letting your alpha spoil you with all kinds of supplies so you can experiment with different media, that sort of thing. You've got the paperwork now, you and Tokai-sensei could transfer you to a school down here or even terminate your high school enrollment completely since there's less than three months left and you're going to need that time for your recovery.” Kana didn't know quite how to take that, pulling his knees up to his chest as he thought about it. Chamu had a point, he was probably better off getting Junji's help to have his enrollment ended so he could focus completely on his recovery. The way the physical therapist had been talking, he was probably going to have skip sitting the college entrance exams this year, meaning he would have that much more time to focus on getting himself ready to apply for art school. Except for the part where he still wasn't entirely sure that was what he wanted. On the other hand, maybe taking the break would give him the space to figure it out? Though why he should suddenly be able to figure out something he hadn't been able to decide ever before in his life, he really didn't know. “I ... I don't know,” he mumbled. “We had a plan, you know?” “Yeah, we did. And then you kinda got blown up,” Chamu pointed out, shrugging. “Kinda changes things.” He wasn't wrong. Huffing a heavy sigh, Kana shifted to lean against his best friend's shoulder, smiling inwardly a little bit when Chamu immediately tucked his arm around him. The beta was right, things were going to have to change, but at least he didn't have to worry about losing his best friend in amongst all those changes. Chapter End Notes So a couple things. Final chapter will be going up on my_Patreon later today for Patrons or you can wait for next week. Then the series (yup, series) will take a couple weeks off because a) if you've been reading my Patreon, you know this past week turned into a huge personal shitstorm of fail, like less than fifteen hours after I posted last week and b) I do have other projects begging for some attention. But the next fic in this series, Masun, is started and it'll also be chaptered, so something to look forward to? ***** (Dys)Functional ***** Chapter Notes Last chapter. In which Minase shows his ass a bit, then redeems it by not taking Kouki's crap. Also, conversation in this dates this fic as 2013, though it's AU so it wouldn't have to be ... except that also fits the calendar. See the end of the chapter for more notes Since Kana had insisted on seeing Chamu and Yutaka off at the Shinkansen station in Chiyoda, Kouki had insisted on driving them. He hadn't thought much of it at first, so Kana felt a little silly when, just as he and Kouki were getting settled at a nearby ramen shop, Tomoya slid into their booth, flashing a charming grin. “Fancy seeing you two here~” the lawyer said, setting his order number tent alongside theirs. “More surprised to see you, Tomoyan,” Kouki said with a small smile of his own. “Don't tell me Junji-kun's had you working today. It's practically New Year's!” “Oh the office was closed ... which is why he wanted me to come in with him. You know, a chance to get some real work done while everyone else is out of the office and no clients are supposed to be trying to contact us,” the darker alpha said, quietly thanking the waitress when beers and edamame were delivered to their table. “Supposed to being the key words?” Kouki asked, smirking. “Yeah, well, you know what it's like in corporate law,” Tomoya agreed, grinning. “We do okay, but it's not like we're the most prestigious firm or anything, so, you know, a couple of our other clients like to get uppity.” “You know,” Kouki said, sipping his beer, “if you guys need more work, as an excuse to drop the less manageable types, I'm sure I could make some arrangements. We've always got things that need review and there's that new distillery unit the group purchased....” “You're going to get in trouble if you keep contracting us instead of using in- house legal,” Tomoya mock-admonished. “Mm, ask me if I care,” Kouki countered, winking. “Oh I swear, I will never understand people who think it's perfectly legitimate to wait until the last possible moment to try to get their end of the year business done. You were right, Tomoyan, I shouldn't have picked up. Hello, Kacchan dear, you're looking better. Tomoyan, you just better have ordered my ramen the right way this time!” Kana was more than a little startled at the way Junji joined them in a flurry of words, though it felt good to have the older omega hug him again. Maybe he had been overreacting before, maybe this really was just coincidence? Kouki was obviously good friends with the two lawyers, he was probably being silly, they probably met for dinner regularly and he just hadn't seen it before because of the holidays and the terrorist attack. “Have they been boring you with shop talk again, Kacchan?” Junji asked with a sympathetic smile. “It's okay,” he said, blushing a little. “It's, uh, helping me confirm that I'm not interested in getting a degree in either business or law?” “There's more to law than contracts, but you may be right,” Junji replied, nodding. “Are you going to be okay to sit the entrance exams this spring?” “I don't know,” Kana confessed, sighing and toying with his glass of soda. “Probably not, but that's okay. I ... don't really know where to apply anyway, to be honest. Or what I want to study. I mean, originally I was only going to Fukudai so Chamu-kun would go. Now everything's different, I don't know. I ... sorta figured before I'd just do a general studies thing until I met my soulmate and then....” Kana trailed off with a shrug, feeling a bit embarrassed for such a weak plan, especially since he was confessing it to Junji. “That's it?” Junji asked, obviously surprised. “No greater ambitions? Oh Kacchan, you are way too young to be that jaded!” he scolded. “Come on, there must have been something you wanted to be. How about in grade school? What did you want to be when you were all grown up?” “A good mate to Atsu-nii,” he said without hesitating or even thinking. The silence at the table was almost deafening and Kana couldn't meet any of their gazes, shame burning hotly through him. “Damn, they got you that young?” Tomoya said softly into the pause. “Most families at least wait until junior high before squashing their omega kids' dreams. Wasn't there ever a time you wanted something just for yourself? You know, to be an astronaut or a fireman or anything like that?” “But ... I'm omega....” “So?” Tomoya persisted, frowning. “What, are you telling me at the tender age of five you understood completely what that meant?” “Well ... no,” he admitted, fiddling with a napkin now. “Tomoyan,” Kouki said softly, surreptitiously tucking an arm around Kana's waist and gently pulling him closer. It helped, though not by much. He was just grateful Kouki had decided to switch to his side of the booth when Junji had joined them. “What? Every kid plays pretend sometimes, what, are you saying you and Chamu- kun only ever played house with you as the good wife?” Kana could feel his cheeks burning in embarrassment, but he didn't have any other answer for the lawyer across from him. There was a thump from under the table and then someone was taking his hands and squeezing them gently. “It's all right, Kacchan, it's not your fault your parents warped you so young, pay no attention to my idiot partner,” Junji soothed, smiling a little sadly. “But now that you've got the time, it's really something you should consider. You can study anything you want. Science, math, history, art, literature, anything that catches your interest.” “But ... nothing catches my interest,” he mumbled. “Not like that, anyway. School is just ... I hate it. Boring lectures, even more boring reading assignments, and all that busy work in maths classes for things I'll never need to know. I'm not smart enough to be an academic or anything like that, so what's the point?” The stunned looks on the two lawyers' faces was enough to have him ducking his head in renewed shame. Was it really that strange for him to hate school? Was it that odd for an omega to not have any higher ambitions than to be a good mate? He'd always thought he was normal, that his small dreams were better for him than wild fantasies that he, as an omega, could never have achieved. Apparently he'd been wrong. “It's okay, baby, no one's trying to pressure you into anything,” Kouki said softly, shifting with the arrival of their ramen. “I think you just surprised them. But now would be a good time for a change of subject, yes?” Nodding, he silently pulled away from Kouki a little bit, even though it was the last thing he wanted to do right then. But he had already felt the curious stares of strangers no doubt wondering what a teenaged omega was doing with three older men and it was starting to nag at him. A little voice in the back of his head that insisted everyone who saw him was thinking he was a toy of one of the alphas, that if he got too cozy with Kouki while they were out in public like this, it would end up hurting his soulmate. Because he was a male omega, because he was just a teenager, because he couldn't possibly be an appropriate companion for someone like Kouki. And though the food was quite good and no one else asked him uncomfortable questions, Kana was having a hard time enjoying himself. All because of a little voice in the back of his head insisting that he didn't belong. ~*~*~ “You make it sound like I'm asking for something unreasonable, Kouki-san. The new year starts the day after tomorrow. It is not so strange for me to want to know when to expect you home with us.” Kouki bit his tongue against an immediate response. There was nothing to be gained by antagonizing his grandfather, his enmity was not something he needed. Still, he wasn't particularly looking forward to trekking all the way down to Kobe and back, especially since it would mean leaving Kana home alone. Even if he made the arrangements right then to fly down, his grandfather would still expect him to stay overnight, something for which Kana was entirely unready. Neither was Kouki in any mood to leave his injured omega alone for that long. “I'm sorry, Grandfather, but something's come up and I'm not going to be able to make it back down there this year.” “Something more important than your obligation to your family?” Another grimace. Damn the man anyway. “I have no siblings and my parents are dead, Grandfather,” he said calmly, all too aware that he was treading a very thin line with his words. “I appreciate all that you have done for me in the past, but this current matter is something that I can't just leave so easily, not even for one night. I'm sorry. Give my love to Grandmother.” Something dark and uneasy coiled into a heavy lump in his gut as he ended the call with his grandfather. That ... could have gone a lot better. Leaning his head against the cool steel facing of the fridge, he sighed heavily and cursed himself for a fool. What had he been thinking? He would have been better off just flat out telling the alpha patriarch that he had an omega of his own now, one that needed him and wasn't able to travel. Except he was almost positive that wouldn't have been any better than what he'd said. And yet the phone stayed ominously quiet. As much as he was grateful to not have to face his grandfather's wrath immediately, he didn't doubt that he had handled that call quite badly. Another sigh and he pushed away from the fridge, going to the lounge to pour himself a glass of blackberry brandy. He could feel Kana's eyes on him, but the young omega stayed strangely silent, scooting over closer when Kouki sat to lean against his side. Kouki slipped an arm around Kana's shoulders, trying to sort out where to start. It wasn't easy. “So that ... didn't sound good,” Kana said when he remained silent a bit too long. “Ah, you heard? I'm sorry, I was trying not to worry you.” “Should've gone into the bedroom then. Or out in the hall. Though ... I think then I would've been worried for different reasons,” his omega said softly, sliding a hand down to entwine fingers with his. “I ... haven't been that good about going back home for the new year holiday the last five years or so,” he admitted with a low sigh, sipping his brandy before continuing. “He's been patient with me so far, but I know that patience is running out. Grandfather's an old school alpha patriarch, I'm not all that eager to expose you to him, even if Grandmother will probably adore you from the moment she lays eyes on you.” “So you told him we won't be coming to see him?” Kana asked, nervously fiddling with a throw pillow suddenly clutched in his lap. “I told him I won't be there,” he corrected absently. “I'm ... not ready for him to know you exist yet, Kacchan. Grandfather is ... well, he's a force of nature when he gets into it. You aren't ready for that.” The silence drew out between them for a moment and then Kouki set down his glass. “And there's no reason that you should be. I love my grandfather, but he's never been a particularly patient man. And to be honest, there's always been a bit of strain between us because of my mother. When my parents died, it didn't make anything better. You have enough on your plate already, we can save meeting him for when you're healthy.” He could scent Kana's uncertainty, but the young omega didn't argue, and for that he was grateful. They had so many things to get through, and they would, together, but this was one thing he was in no rush to confront. For now, he just wanted to be allowed to take care of his omega without worry for anything else, even if it was only for a little while. ~*~*~ Kana was surprised to wake the next morning to the sound of low voices in the next room. The bed was empty and Kouki had left their bedroom door cracked open. Wary after the last time he had woken without Kouki at his side, Kana slipped into their bathroom first, needing several minutes just to sit. More than anything, he wanted to take a hot shower and a long soak, but he knew better than to even attempt it. Wincing and wishing he had the nerve to call out for Kouki's help, he did the best he could with a damp cloth before replacing his dressings and then even more carefully changing into loose jeans and one of Kouki's college sweatshirts. It was completely oversized on him, but that was why Kana had chosen it. That and the faint lingering scent of his alpha embedded in the fabric, even though it had clearly been washed since the last time Kouki had worn it. Maybe it was silly, but something at the back of his head was nagging at him and the sweatshirt made him feel almost safe. The little voice of fear didn't stop even when Kouki came over and kissed his forehead. “Good morning, baby. Sleep well?” Nodding, he glanced around his alpha, surprised to see Minase standing in their kitchen. The beta smiled before holding up a steaming mug of what had to be coffee. “Cream and sugar, Kacchan?” he asked, still with that same gentle smile that seemed so strange to him on a beta male. “Ah, um, yes please,” he stammered, glancing between the two men. “It's all right, Kacchan, the office is closed until Monday,” Kouki said, sliding an arm around him as he coaxed him over towards the breakfast bar. “Everyone gets a long holiday this year.” “What time is it?” he mumbled before thanking Minase for the mug of coffee. A sip and he smiled. Almost too sweet, but there was chocolate in it. “Quarter of ten,” the beta said. “I'll go run those errands and we can plan to have lunch at half past noon?” “Mm, thanks Minase.” The beta nodded, smiling again, then let himself out of the apartment. “Errands?” Kana asked between sips of coffee. “Is anything even open today?” “A few things,” Kouki replied, taking the stool next to him. “The whole world doesn't stop just because it's a holiday here in Japan. Remember, in some parts of the world, it's still yesterday!” Kana wasn't sure what that had to do with anything, but maybe it didn't matter. Or maybe that was Kouki's way of saying Minase's errands were all to do with whatever it was the two of them did on a normal workday basis. “Trying to tell me something?” his alpha asked, startling him with a brush of lips to the side of his neck. Kana shivered, pleasure shooting through him at the contact, and he needed another moment - and another sip of coffee - to clear his mind enough to focus on the question. Minase might have been gone but the unsettled feeling was still lurking at the back of his thoughts. “No big mystery, I just wanted something comfortable. And I need to do laundry. I wish I'd planned ahead better, brought more stuff with me to leave here.” “It's not like you knew you were going to be staying here more than a week when you were packing, love,” Kouki countered softly. “You had no reason to think you might need more. It's fine, we'll do laundry later. Okay, I'll do the laundry, you can watch and then sit on the couch.” “Tyrant,” Kana muttered, but he had to take another sip of coffee shortly after to keep from grinning. It was perhaps a bit of an exaggeration, but Kana's omega instincts were more than happy to have his alpha being so insistent. ~*~*~ Kouki tried to help Minase with lunch, but the beta wasn't having it, threatening him with a spoon. Not seriously, of course, but enough for him to get the point. Faking an annoyed huff, he let his friend chase him out of the kitchen and sat back down on his couch, one arm automatically moving to curl around Kana's shoulders. Even better, the omega scooted closer without missing a beat on his game. Okay, yeah, this was nice, he could see how someone could get used to this. Kana was warm and relaxed, without a trace of the darker fear notes that had been at least underlying, if not outright overwhelming, his scent for days. It was ... nice. “Why's Minase-san here?” Kana asked as he waited for a cut-scene to load. “Tradition. Minase's an orphan, I've been dragging him around to family holiday stuff since we met in college and I found out he didn't have a family of his own. It's not a problem, is it? New Years is really more about a whole family than some romantic thing, but I guess I should've asked you first, I'm sorry.” “I don't mind,” Kana mumbled, scooting even closer. “I'm just....” but he couldn't seem to find the words he wanted, trailing off with a helpless sigh. And then the cut-scene finished and Kana was drawn back into his game again. Kouki didn't recognize the game play, meaning it was either one Kana had brought with him (unlikely) or one he had gotten at Christmas (more likely), not one from his own collection. He smiled a little as he watched Kana's character stealthing through enemy territory, curious now if that was a mission objective or just Kana's preference. “Okay you two, lunch is – oh hey, Assassin's Creed, right?” “Yeah, Black Flag. Does Minase-san play?” “Haven't picked up this one yet, is it as good as they try to say?” “I haven't decided yet,” Kana said, saving his progress with a shrug. “I've only put in a couple hours so far, so I'm still getting a feel for the world and story, you know? I like the setting better than the last one, at any rate. Of course it's a bit ridiculous, all the major characters being male alphas. I mean, I guess it isn't much stretch to think the navies of the world, even the merchant and pirate fleets, had more alphas than the average, considering the dangers involved, especially back then, but still, it feels a bit ridiculous, you know? And I'm sure there won't be a single omega in a major part anywhere in the game, but....” Another shrug as Kana set aside the controller and got up. He was obviously used to the imbalances in his virtual worlds, but it was still niggling at something at the back of Kouki's mind. “You know, I never really thought about it, but you're right,” Minase said as he took a seat at the table. “I'm trying to think of the last game I played where the hero wasn't an alpha. Ah, I hope you don't mind a simple lunch, Kana- kun. It's just curry rice, I'm afraid, but hopefully it'll be good enough.” “Minase is going to make someone an excellent wife some day, talking like that,” Kouki teased, seating Kana before taking his own place. “Don't mind him, Kacchan, he's always saying his cooking is terrible. And yet I keep letting him do it.” “Smells good to me. A lot better than I could do, I'm sure,” Kana said, smiling a little shyly. “It's just box curry, it's not like I did anything special,” the beta demurred, chuckling as he sat down as well. “Hey, you're talking to someone who can burn water!” Kana protested. “... what kind of omega can't cook??” Minase blurted out, though to his credit, he turned bright red a second later. “Sorry, that was thoughtless and sexist. And beneath me. I'm sure Kana-kun has plenty of other talents and interests, there's nothing wrong with an omega who isn't domestic.” “Nah, you're right, it's kinda shameful,” Kana said, ducking his head and rubbing a sweaty hand on his thigh. “I don't know, it's not like I haven't tried to get better, but omurice and cup noodles seem to be my limit. Can't cook, terrible at cleaning, don't know how to do laundry at all ... really, I'm pretty useless around the house, Kou-kun's getting a crap deal with me as his soulmate.” “Such things you say,” Kouki scolded. “Don't sell yourself short, Kacchan.” “Trust me, if your lunkhead of an alpha can learn to be self-sufficient, the two of you will have no trouble building a life together,” Minase said, grinning. “Anyway, I thought we were talking about video games? Do you play a lot of games, Kana-kun?” “Some, yeah,” the young omega said, nodding. “I'm not, like hardcore into it or anything. Casual-core, I guess? Like I'm guilty of picking up the occasional casual internet game on like Facebook or whatever, but then I also play console games, too. I'm not super into it, though. I still only have an Xbox 360 and a PS2 at home and my laptop is definitely not a gaming machine, or anything. I don't even play Halo! I'm not good at first person shooters period, to be honest, I can't get oriented with them, but I like watching Chamu-kun play them sometimes.” “Is it the violence or the perspective, do you think? Or both?” Minase asked and Kouki had to hide a smile at the scent of Kana's genuine surprise. “I don't know? I haven't sat down to really think about it,” he said, frowning thoughtfully, “but probably the perspective more than the violence. I mean, they're video games, you know? The graphics have gotten a lot better over the years, but it's still fake. And you can't tell me that the Assassin's Creed series isn't violent so yeah, it's probably the perspective.” “Do you have a favorite genre? Or are you more of a dabbler like Kou-kun, willing to try just about anything?” the beta asked. “I mean, you've seen his collection, right?” “No, no he hasn't, not the whole thing, and if you bring up my Sega days, Minase, I swear to all the gods, I'll throw you out right now.” “Sega days? So who was it that was collecting all those Nintendogs cartridges again?” “Minase!” Kouki protested, but he couldn't force his scent to match the outrage in his tone and he could see Kana trying to hide a giggle. Good. His soulmate didn't laugh enough anymore, it was good for his heart to see the young omega laughing again. “If it looks interesting enough, I'd be willing to try just about anything once, sure, but as far as actually buying goes, to be honest I've mostly focused on fantasy roleplaying games. Well, and Assassin's Creed. And Pokemon, of course. I mean, yeah, it's a kids game, but, I dunno. I like it, even if the games aren't exactly replayable.” Kana's eyes suddenly went wide as he muttered a soft curse. “What?” Kouki asked, reaching over to lightly touch his hand. “What is it?” “My 3DS. I had it with me that day. With the cartridges for Pokemon X and Y and a couple other games in the case. I didn't even ... it got trashed like my phone, didn't it?” “Your whole bag was ruined, yeah,” he replied. “I'm sorry, I didn't even think to ask before what else you might have had in there besides your wallet.” “And that had been in my pocket cuz we'd just bought lunch, we'd only just sat down when the bomb went off, I hadn't thought to put it back in my bag yet,” Kana said, sighing heavily. “I've been so busy since then, I didn't even really think about it.” Kouki could scent the bitter tang of tears even before they started leaking down Kana's cheeks. Scooting his chair over closer, his slid an arm around his young mate, drawing him in against him. The 3DS was the newest system, Kouki could easily imagine Kana having spent months saving up meager wages to be able to buy it for himself. It would explain the reaction to losing something that, inherently, wasn't actually all that valuable, something that could, in fact, be easily replaced. Kana lingered against him for a moment, but all too soon he was pulling himself back upright and scrubbing at his face with his sleeve. “Sorry,” he mumbled, “I'm being such a stereotype right now.” “It's all right, Kana-kun, happens to the best of us. That's why they're stereotypes,” Minase said, offering a reassuring smile. “Anyway, I was trying to think of the last time I played a game where the hero wasn't an alpha, but you're right, it really doesn't happen. Even the recent city builders, you're still playing a series of alpha rulers.” “Off hand, I'd say the last was probably the Baldur's Gate/Forgotten Realms series. Remember, they made a big deal about how for most of the classes you could pick your designation as well as gender? Only exceptions were the warrior, who could only be alpha, and the bard, who could only be omega. A lot of otaku were upset about the bard thing in particular. And then there were the fundamentalists who got all outraged about a kid being allowed to play a paladin who happened to be omega. There were boycotts and everything, remember? I think that's probably why no one else took that risk again.” “How come I've never heard of this?” Kana asked, obviously perplexed. “Because it's before your time. The first game came out when I was still in ... junior high, I think? Or maybe even a little before that, I'd have to look it up now.” “Mm, you might be right,” Minase said, nodding. “I can't think of even another RPG that gives you that choice anymore. Like you can tell the warriors and paladins and barbarians - the tank types - are all intended as alphas, and then it's just sort of assumed everyone else is beta. Considering the game settings always tend to be quasi-medieval, I never really thought that was odd, but looking at Kana-kun's face, I'm guessing that's my beta privilege showing again?” Kouki couldn't help a small smile, watching Kana flush red again. He really was adorable when he was being shy. “Well, I mean, I don't really know,” Kana mumbled. “Books are written by victors, sort of. The history books say scholars back then were mostly betas and maybe they were, but what alpha king is going to want to admit his brightest mind at court is a male omega, you know? And women even now still get ignored almost completely in the West, which is where those settings are mostly coming from, so again, it's probably not all that accurate to what was really happening. Omega have been oppressed a lot, it'd be nice to see more change in our fantasy worlds, but unless an all-omega team is behind it, I don't really expect to see that happen. And like that's ever going to happen.” There was the idea that had been trying to make itself known to Kouki's thinking earlier. Of course he needed to look into the logistics of a few things before he actually said anything to anyone other than Minase about what he was thinking. Kana still hadn't given any indication of what he would like to study for himself, or even if he wanted to pursue studies for himself, but maybe Kouki could suggest video game design? Once he understood better himself what that would mean. ~*~*~ After lunch, Kouki tried again to suggest a walk to a nearby park, but again Kana gently declined. He knew his soulmate was right, that he needed to be getting at least a little more exercise than he currently was, but there was absolutely nothing appealing about the idea of having to bundle up in a hundred layers and then going out into the cold of December to do it. “You two should go without me,” he said, curling up in a corner of the couch. “Don't think I haven't noticed you haven't exactly been doing your morning jogs while I've been here, mister~” he added with a teasing grin. “Are you sure?” Kouki asked and Kana felt himself falling a little harder in love at the way his soulmate was giving him a worried frown. “I'm sure, Kou,” he said, plastering on a smile he didn't completely feel. “I'll be fine, it's not like you're going for a 10km run, right?” “If it's the park I think, more like six blocks there and back. Unless he means the one that's five blocks. Or the one eight blocks?” Minase offered, chuckling. The beta was even already pulling on his coat. “Come on, Kou-kun, you heard him, he'll be fine. Give you a chance to tell me what secret project you're about to put me on next.” “Eh? What are ... I don't have a secret project I'm planning for you!” Kouki blustered. “The bad thing?” Minase stage whispered to Kana. “He actually expects me to buy that.” Kana had to cover his mouth with his hand, even though he was pretty sure trying to hide his giggling from his alpha was mostly useless. But it really was too cute, seeing the man huffing and acting all offended. Especially when, to his nose, it was obviously just that, an act. “Come on, big guy. I've known you for, what, almost seventeen years now? And I've been your administrative assistant for almost nine of those. I know when you've got an idea percolating up in that ridiculous blond head of yours. You're practically bursting with it. And since you're obviously trying not to talk about it in front of Kana-kun, it must be work related, so come on, tell me while we walk.” Another faked huff and then Kouki was walking over to the end of the couch, pausing beside Kana to lean down and kiss his forehead. And again Kana felt a rush of warmth as those lips touched his skin. “Fifteen minutes, twenty at the most,” his alpha promised quietly. “If you need anything....” “I'll be fine,” he insisted. And he would be, he was sure of it. For one thing, it seemed he had a game collection to investigate more thoroughly. Kouki's apartment was safe; whatever that voice was at the back of his head, whispering its wordless dread, it needed to shut up. Nothing was going to happen, he was safe. Completely. Out of habit more than anything, Kana glanced up when he heard the front door open almost exactly fifteen minutes later, but being in the kitchen, it wasn't like he could actually see anything. Not that it really mattered, since of course it would just be Kouki and Minase coming back from their walk. Feeling a little silly, he shook his head to himself and picked up his mug of tea. The silence hit him at the same time as the scent of an unknown alpha and Kana nearly dropped his mug of tea, hissing as the hot liquid sloshed over onto his hands. He felt himself involuntarily shrinking back against the counter even as he heard sharp footsteps approaching the kitchen. There was no escape, panic freezing him in place as an elder alpha walked into the room. Kana's heart was pounding like thunder in his ears, he could hardly think. How could this alpha be here? Who was he? What did he want? What was Kana going to do about any of it? What could he, an unmated omega, hope to do against an adult alpha? The alpha before him was easily in his eighties and yet obviously fit and powerful; even if Kana could make his body move, he could never escape him. A long coat hung open over a finely tailored suit, though he had at least stopped long enough to change into house slippers. Kana inwardly flinched at the way his panicked brain was choosing now of all times to pick out such irrelevancies. “Who the hell are you and what are you doing here?” The words evaporated in his throat under the force of that dark, disapproving look. And then an elderly omega woman was pushing her way past this unknown alpha, cooing softly and fearlessly walking right up to him. Recognition suddenly hit, these had to be Kouki's grandparents, he could see faint echos of his alpha (or should that be the other way around?) in this woman's face. “Enough, Ichiro-san, you're scaring the boy,” the woman said, throwing a disapproving frown over her shoulder. “I told you our grandson would have a perfectly legitimate reason for staying up here, now go hang up your coat and stop being such a bear! You're going to make the poor boy think you were raised by wolves, acting like this!” The alpha snorted, but at least he left the room. Unlike Kouki's grandfather, Kouki's grandmother was dressed in traditional clothing, her kimono an understated but beautiful deep green with a winter forest scene around the hemline. Steel grey hair was pulled back into a simple undecorated bun and even her obi was elegant but unremarkable, though the whole offered distraction enough that she had the mug pulled from Kana's hands before he was able to stop her. “Tch, did my mate do all this? He's not as horrible as he seems ... what is your name, dear? Come, let's get you cleaned up a bit and you can tell me why my grandson was hiding you from us, yes?” “I ... it's nothing, I'm fine,” he stammered, jerking his hands away from her unsteadily. As if he wasn't embarrassed enough, his knees chose that exact moment to give out on him, sending him sinking to the floor. How utterly mortifying. And where were Kouki and Minase? Why weren't they here to save him from himself?? He could feel the first prickles of tears and then stark fear was washing over him again. What would Kouki's grandfather do if he scented Kana's weakness?? “Easy, easy, sweetheart,” the old woman cooed, kneeling in front of him and petting his hair. “Take it easy, sweet boy, I'm not going to hurt you. And neither is my idiotic mate, no matter how much he blusters. Kou-kun wouldn't stand for it and neither will I. I don't suppose there's more of that tea made?” “N-no,” Kana stammered, blushing hard. Why wasn't Kouki back yet? This would be so much easier with his alpha's strength behind him. “Well then, we'll just have to make more, won't we? You go find a clean sweater, dear, I'll manage in here. My mate won't bother you.” Kana wasn't sure he believed that, but he was also completely certain that it didn't matter. His body wasn't wanting to obey his commands, his legs refusing to work and his stomach complaining bitterly about his positioning. It was completely embarrassing, scooting around the kitchen island on his elbows and butt until he was able to lay down flat, closing his eyes and covering his face with one arm. He could practically taste the confusion he was causing Kouki's grandmother, but fortunately the front door chose that moment to burst open, almost popping its hinges from the sound of it. Even from the kitchen, Kana couldn't miss the utter rage in his alpha's scent. “GRANDFATHER!” “Don't you raise your voice to me, boy!” “Ah, I had better go diffuse that before it gets worse. I'll send Kou-kun to you in just a moment, dear, it'll be all right.” Kana didn't have the strength left to ask her if she was joking. All right? She had to be crazy to think anything was going to be made all right so easily. But for once in his life, Kana was almost glad he was omega. He would just lay here in his utter terror for a moment and.... Not more than a handful of panicked heartbeats and Kouki's arms were folding around him, pulling him closer to his chest. Kana curled his hand into Kouki's shirt and pressed himself even closer, all of his fears fading away at the physical reassurance that Kouki was there for him. “I'm so sorry, baby,” Kouki whispered, “but it's okay now, I promise. I'm here, I won't leave you again.” He felt completely pathetic, but it didn't stop him from clinging to his alpha, pressing his nose into the crook of Kouki's neck and taking in deep lungfuls of his alpha's scent. Worn leather, musk and sharp spices, and a low, boiling anger mingled with bright possessiveness and a hint of fear. Fear? Startled, Kana blinked and leaned back a bit. “You're ... fear scent?” he stammered, baffled. Kouki frowned a moment and then a soft laugh gentled his face. “You're getting too good at that. Yes, love, fear for you. Are you all right? Did he hurt you? Grandmother is worried.” “My legs stopped working. I couldn't ... I wasn't ... when they came in unannounced, without you....” “It's all right, love. Are they working enough yet for you to stand or do I need to carry you?” “I ... I'm not sure,” he said, shaking his head. “Don't want you to let go anyway,” he added in a shy mumble. “Well that settles that then, doesn't it?” his alpha replied, brushing a quick kiss to his forehead. Without another word, Kouki lifted him up and carried him over to the couch, sitting down with Kana still cradled in his lap. Kana could feel the heavy, disapproving eyes of the other alpha on him and he felt himself trying to shrink into Kouki's chest. The arms around him shifted, just enough to be sure he was both comfortable and secure, and then Kouki's defiance flooded his nose, blotting out every other scent. “Grandfather, this is Kobayashi Kana, my soulmate. You will apologize for terrifying him to death for no reason and you will accept him as my mate,” Kouki said firmly. Kana shivered and pressed himself even closer. All he could smell was Kouki and with his face hiding against his soulmate's chest, he couldn't see the other alpha, either, but it only sort of helped. “Disrespectful pup. Look at you! Thirty-six and still unmated, acting like some teenager with that hair. And what is that ... that thing in your lip?!? This boy's fault, I'm sure. I should go to your board of directors right now, before you embarrass this family and the Matsumoto Group with this behavior any further!” “I have done nothing to embarrass either myself or the Group. Which is more than I can say for the man who brazenly barged into my apartment, unannounced and uninvited, and terrified an innocent injured omega to death for no other reason than because he thinks he always knows better than anyone else!” “Kouki-san! That will be quite enough, young man,” Kouki's grandmother said, much to Kana's surprise. “Tousan, sit. Your grandson's defiance may have muddled your nose, but surely your eyes are still working just fine, you old bear. Or are you too prideful to admit you may have been wrong? Kobayashi-kun is obviously not well enough to travel, he couldn't even stand in the kitchen for more than five minutes! Would you have left me alone in Tokyo for even just one night while I was so unwell? At his age??” “That's beside the point. They aren't even mated!” “Yet,” Kouki's grandmother said and Kana couldn't resist peeking, surprised to see her standing in as defiant a stance as Kouki's own scent. “And if you would pull your head out of your oh so noble ass for two seconds - and stop prodding your grandson into well-deserved defiance of your idiocy - you'd know as well as I already do that his claim is already valid, even without the mating bite.” “He should have told us this was his reason. He's made this entire situation through his own actions,” the elder alpha growled, though Kana could hear him moving to sit down. Shivering, he forced himself to scoot around on Kouki's lap enough to actually face his soulmate's grandparents. “Oh yes, because you would have behaved much more reasonably if he had told you on the phone that he had found a mate who was too ill to travel,” Kouki's grandmother countered with an audible scoff and Kana had to bite his lip hard to keep from giggling. “Oh Minase-san, thank you, sweetheart. I'm sorry you've been dragged into the middle of all this alpha male nonsense.” “Family is family,” Minase demurred, pouring and passing the first cup of tea to Kouki's grandfather. “Kana-kun is family.” “Well, you've arranged this all quite nicely for yourself, haven't you, Kouki- san?” the older alpha grumbled, taking the tea and then immediately setting it aside. “I suppose you think you can do as you like now, that you don't need my approval anymore.” “Grandfather....” “I will not just accept some gutter trash child omega for you, grandson. I've let you get away with too much these last few years, clearly. It will not continue. Kanae-san, come, we're leaving.” Kana could only watch in mute shock as Kouki's grandfather stormed out of the room. Even more startling, his soulmate's grandmother barely even hesitated before trailing after her mate. So her courage and influence only went so far. He shouldn't have been surprised, and yet.... "Ignore him, Kacchan," Kouki murmured after the front door slammed shut once more. "He can say whatever he likes, he doesn't control me. You are my mate, nothing he says or does is going to change that. Not now, not ever." Kana didn't say anything, only turning to press closer into Kouki's chest. He wanted to believe those words, but that dark voice was still chittering in the back of his head. After all, he was just a teenaged omega from a no-rank family, what power could he possibly have against someone like Kouki's grandfather? He was just going to have to try his hardest to make the most out of every moment he had left with Kouki, before someone else came to take his place. Chapter End Notes I know, I'm a horrible person. But this is just the end of the beginning. Two weeks, maybe three, and I'll have the first chapter of the next fic up (with a preview a week early on my Patreon). Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!