Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/7098745.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Teenage_Mutant_Ninja_Turtles_-_All_Media_Types, Teenage_Mutant_Ninja
      Turtles:_Out_of_the_Shadows_(2016)
  Relationship:
      Leonardo/Raphael_(TMNT)
  Character:
      Leonardo_(TMNT), Raphael_(TMNT)
  Additional Tags:
      Background_Leo/Mickey, Background_Leo/Donnie, Incest, handjobs, Intersex?
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-06-05 Completed: 2017-05-14 Chapters: 2/2 Words: 7853
****** Fair's Fair ******
by TheAlchemistsDaughter
Summary
     The brothers only have each other. Leo, as the leader, helps his
     brothers out when they need him. It starts with Mikey, then Raph
     wants his turn, and he makes sure Leo gets a turn too.
***** Chapter 1 *****
Leo’s been ‘helping his brothers out’ basically since they all hit puberty
together. Some of them handled it better than others. Donnie rode it like a
wave, doing his best to surf the ups and downs of mutant hormones, but still
getting knocked off his board now and then. Mikey took it like a road full of
potholes, getting knocked around but powering through to the smooth.
Raph slammed into it like a brick wall. Maybe if he hadn’t been so tough to
handle, the others would have been worse, instead of being overshadowed by
Raph’s hormone-fuelled rampages. Leo didn’t know whether he had it under
control even now. It showed in his body that he had been dealt more
testosterone than the rest of them, in his size, muscles, temper, and the extra
layers on his shell.
Leo’s own hormonal mood swings often had to take a backseat to his brothers’.
At his worst, though, he knew he could be as bad as Raph. Raph threw tantrums,
but Leo turned his back on his brothers, and his words could be even more
hurtful because it was so much rarer for him to lash out. He wasn’t proud of
those moments. He tried to show his brothers he loved them. He tried to be a
good leader.
But with adolescence came needs that were a curse to them, four males,
brothers, who were the only ones like them in the world. There were no Teenage
Mutant Female Turtles, or even a stranger they hadn’t grown up with. It was a
weird position to be in, each of them knowing exactly what was going on with
the others, because it was happening to them at the same time, but always
fearing that for some reason they were different and strange.
Splinter gave them The Talk. Sat them down and explained what was happening to
them, though he admitted he didn’t know what the effects would be on mutant
turtles. He explained their bodies were maturing, their hormones going loopy.
He explained sex, briefly, not wasting much time on that subject since what was
the point? They were becoming adults. Their stupid bodies didn’t know there
weren’t any other turtles for them to release these urges with.
Looking back, Leo figures Splinter must have known what they were doing. He was
a ninja master. He knew everything his sons were doing. But at the time, they
thought they were so clandestine, relishing it at the same time as being scared
shitless.
It didn’t take them long to discover masturbation, and overdo it. All of them
has at one point or another limped around pretending their dick wasn’t rubbed
too sore to go back in their plastron. Some of them learned their lesson, some
of them didn’t. It took them a while though, years, for that to stop being
enough, for them to start needing each other.
Leo remembers how it started. Mikey was really upset, talking about how lonely
he was, what kind of future could they have, would humans ever accept them. He
more than any of the others got sad. Raph just got angry, and Donnie got quiet
and sighed a lot. But Leo hated it when Mikey got sad. As long as he wasn’t in
a mood too, when he would get frustrated, it made him feel useless. He was the
leader, ever since they were young. It was his job to help. He wanted to help.
So in the end what happened was Leo volunteered, awkwardly and obtusely. He
remembers suggesting Mikey close his eyes, so he could think about someone
else, and not have to face the fact that it was his brother touching him.
They’d seen each other naked countless times. It had been difficult to get them
into clothes when they were children, small and wriggly with ninja training,
and sometimes Splinter didn’t bother with the fight that day since everything
was hidden in their shells anyway. It was only really when they hit puberty,
and their bodies suddenly started changing in ways they weren’t familiar or
comfortable with, that they started covering up all the time. So Leo didn’t
really see anything he didn’t expect when he undid Mikey’s shorts, and told
himself that they were all built the same anyway.
Mikey came to him regularly after that, so much so that eventually Leo had to
tell him to lay off a bit. Donnie was next, shuffling up embarrassed and
needing, but Leo would never leave one of his brothers hanging. Donnie was also
the first to stop coming to him. He only approached him a few times, and Leo
didn’t pursue it.
Raphael was the last to seek him out. It was clear he knew what was going on
almost from the start, but was too proud to admit he wanted more than what he
had. He used to get in a huff if he spotted the others sneaking off to Leo’s
curtained-off bedroom. That wasn’t Leo’s problem either, as long as he kept it
to himself.
He cracked though. Eventually, he disliked being the only one not to have felt
a hand that wasn’t his own even more than he disliked asking for help. He could
never stand being the odd one out.
Leo knew why he was there almost as soon as he pushed his ragged curtain out of
his way and let it fall closed behind him. He could tell in the way he was
looking at the floor, refusing to meet Leo’s eyes, and the way he seemed lost
for words. Leo closed his book and sat up, putting his feet on the floor. Raph
circled the perimeter of the alcove, touching some of Leo’s stuff randomly, as
if that would make him look any more innocent.
Raph cleared his throat. “So, er, you busy?” he rasped. Their voices had all
broken one by one in the last couple of years, but it was still far too easy
for a high-pitched squeak to come out when they were nervous. As a result, Raph
had adopted a stage whisper that he probably thought of as an intimidating,
gravelly growl.
“I was reading,” Leo replied. He realised he was being petulant, but he wanted
Raph to say it.
“Oh, sorry,” Raph stuttered, turning to leave. “I’ll get out of your way.”
“Raph, stop. Come here. I know what you want. Same as Mikey and Donnie, right?”
Leo said, feeling mean now. It had never been his intention to make any of them
feel ashamed. He had only wanted to help in an awkward situation.
Raph shuffled back to him as Leo held out his hand. He grabbed his forearm and
tugged him into position so he was standing in front of Leo, their knees almost
touching.
“You – You don’t have to,” Raph whispered.
That was Raph all over. A grouch until you actually tried to give him what he
wanted, when he would suddenly discover the charity of a saint. But Leo knew he
couldn’t say no. Raph would scurry out of there, then wonder why, then get
hurt, then get angry, then make trouble. And Leo didn’t mind. He did it for
Mikey and Donnie. It wouldn’t change anything if he did it for Raph too.
“It’s okay,” Leo soothed him. He pulled Raph’s shorts down until they cleared
his shell. Raph’s hands twitched into fists as he fought not to cover up. His
slit was slightly pink, a little wet, and bulging with the swollen dick trying
to get out. Leo ran his thumb up it, and the dick inside fell out and into his
waiting hand, red and sensitive and, if Leo was correct, the biggest in the
family. He wouldn’t tell Raph, his ego was hard enough to control as it was.
Leo ran his hand up and down it once, getting a feel for it. Raph twitched and
shuddered. “God, Leo…” he moaned. Leo allowed himself half a smile before
shifting his grip and pumping him for real.
Raph cried out and fell forward, his hands leaping to Leo’s shell to hold
himself up. His hips thrust forward and Leo matched their rhythm, making Raph
groan again. “That feels so good…” he croaked.
“Shhh!” Leo chastised, casting a glance at the thin curtain that separated them
not only from their brothers, who were complicit in the whole thing, but also
their father, a rat with exceptionally big ears and the hearing to go with
them.
Raph might have heard him or he might not have, because he pressed his lips
together as if to silence himself, then hummed loudly, his eyes closed. Leo
almost rolled his eyes. Of course Raph would be the loudest. And move the most,
and be the most grabby, Leo thought, as Raph adjusted his grip on Leo’s shell
and took half a step closer.
Leo found himself staring at Raph’s plastron, and the muscles moving under
green skin. His soft-shelled stomach was already noticeably rougher than any of
theirs, it looked like it was trying to grow layers on top of itself. Mickey
had been getting into tattoos lately, and Raph’s arms bore signs of some first
early attempts, tributes to their martial arts and family. Leo worried about
Raph less than he did about the others, but every now and again, he would
remember to wonder if everything was really alright with the tough lug. He
never let anything out, never let anyone in.
Raph gasped then, his head bending over Leo. “Leo, I’m coming, I’m coming,” he
warned, so Leo wrapped his hand over the head of Raph’s dick, rubbing it until
his spunk hit his palm, dripping onto Leo’s thigh.
Raph was panting, his eyes still closed as Leo grabbed a discarded bandage off
the end of the bed, one of the ones they wrapped their fists in when sparring,
and wiped everything off. He made sure Raph’s satisfied dick tucked back into
his shell with nothing pinching, then pulled his brother’s shorts back up. Raph
let go of his shell, and when Leo looked at his face, his eyes were open again,
calm, and watching him.
“Thanks,” he coughed gruffly.
“No problem,” Leo replied, expecting to be left alone with his book. Though if
he was honest, his hand was not finished just yet, as doing Raph had turned him
on. But Raph made no move to go, so Leo looked at him again. “Was there
something else?”
“What about you?” Raph said.
“What about me?” Leo replied, not inviting an answer as he looked away and
picked up his book.
“Don’t you want to…?” Raph nodded illustratively.
“No, I’m fine,” Leo lied, wanting Raph to get out so he could give himself a
turn.
Raph frowned. “Mikey and Donnie, they don’t….? Do you too?” he asked.
“No, I would never ask that of them,” Leo told him, still hoping to end this
conversation.
“Why not? You some kinda monk? Something happen to your dick since I seen it
last?”
Leo sighed. He didn’t need Raph getting aggressive about this of all things.
“No, I just don’t need it,” he said. Raph continued to frown at him in that way
that usually meant he was working on something Leo wasn’t going to like. “I’m
fine, Raph.”
“You don’t want me to do it,” Raph stated accusingly. “You don’t want me
touching you.”
“No, I’m just fine, is all,” Leo bit out. God, his brother was stubborn. A tank
that just rolled over everything in its path, slowly but surely.
Raph suddenly sunk to his knees in front of Leo. “Show me,” he said, his face
still set in a scowl.
“What?” Leo tried to pull his knee up defensively, but Raph held him down.
“Raph, I’m not going to- Why do you want to-”
“I think you’re lying, ‘cause you don’t ever let anyone else help you even when
you need it. You always gotta do everything for everybody. But if I’m wrong,
show me. There won’t be nothing to see if you’re telling the truth. Nothing I
ain’t already seen before,” Raph argued.
Leo was momentarily at a loss for words as he tried to think of a way to deny
that, a silence Raph used to grab his waistband and pull it down to look at the
slit in his plastron over his dick. Leo made an outraged tick, but it was too
late to try to hide it. It was bulging and slick where his erection pressed
against it from the inside.
Raph gave him a look that was simultaneously disappointed and forgiving, smug
and offended. Leo shifted awkwardly. Now he didn’t know what he wanted. Raph
was right there, offering to do it for him, give him a turn at feeling someone
else’s hands on his body.
“I was going to do it myself,” he offered to explain away his lie.
“It ain’t your job, Leo. We all gotta look out for each other,” Raph told him,
his voice low and lecturing with love like a parent. It was a paraphrasing of a
speech they had received from Splinter a hundred times, though surely the rat
hadn’t meant for it to be applied in this situation.
It was getting difficult to keep his dick inside his shell the longer his slit
was exposed. It was like it knew Raph was looking at it and wanted to come out.
Leo tipped his head back to think, leaning back on his hands to try to put some
distance between them, but Raph took the move as acceptance, and the next thing
Leo knew, he felt something warm and wet and soft against his slit, his dick
instantly springing free.
Leo gasped and looked down, seeing Raph with his head lowered between his legs,
staring at his dick and moving his jaw as if he was tasting something on his
tongue. Oh God, it had been his tongue, Raph had licked him and he’d just
exploded, all control gone. Now his dick was out between them, a glaring,
lurid, hot red.
Raph shifted his weight and freed up a hand which he wrapped around Leo’s cock,
the three thick fingers contrasting sharply, green against red. Leo’s cock
twitched and he lay back, putting his hands to his face, finally giving in. It
did feel better to have someone else touch him than to do it himself. Raph
stroked him up and down, and Leo wriggled closer, giving himself over to
sensation.
Raph squeezed the base, and moved up with a twisting motion. “Do you like this,
Leo?” he said, his voice quiet and husky. “I know I like it when I do it to
myself.”
Leo murmured in the affirmative, not trusting himself to speak. He would be
quiet at least, even if it was all he could do not to come right then.
“You don’t gotta worry, Leo,” Raph continued, and Leo kind of wished he’d shut
up because it felt like every word he said was being imprinted on his psyche
somewhere he’d never be able to get it out. “You don’t gotta do everything
yourself all the time. I’m here- We’re here too. We got you. You do me, and
I’ll do you, and everyone’s happy.” He punctuated ‘happy’ with a quick lap with
his tongue at Leo’s dick, as if he was tasting it and was hoping Leo wouldn’t
notice.
Leo jerked and Raph sped his hand up, and Leo let himself pant out loud rather
than whine or moan, but damn. Raph ran one finger of his other hand down Leo’s
slit under his dick, pressing gently, which felt... unreal. The slit was being
held open by his dick but it didn’t hurt. It was sensitive and tight and
nothing had ever touched him like that before, not even his own hand.
“Do that again,” he begged.
“What? This?” Raph said, sounding genuinely confused, and running his finger
down the hollow again. At that point, Leo came hard with a grunt, thrusting
into Raph’s hand, who let out a surprised “Woah!”
Leo’s come went on Raph’s hand and landed on his own belly, but he didn’t care
as he caught his breath, dimly aware of Raph performing the same careful
tucking procedure he had to get his dick back under his shell comfortably. Then
he felt Raph rubbing the come off his plastron with the bandage gently. He
forced his head up to look down his body at his brother, who was watching him
carefully.
“Was that so bad?” he grumbled, tossing the bandage away.
“Raph, you didn’t have to do that,” Leo told him.
He shrugged. “Wanted to,” he mumbled, then pushed himself to his feet, avoiding
Leo’s considering frown. “It was just the right thing to do, Leo,” he stated
clearly as if for the record. “Fair’s fair.”
Again, Leo was left struggling to find the words as Raphael just turned around
to leave. “I’ll let you get back to your book,” he said, disappearing behind
the curtain.
After another stunned moment, Leo picked his book back up and lay down, opening
it to the page he was last on. But he found he couldn’t focus anymore.
***** Chapter 2 *****
Raph was working out, his shell on the bench and his hands on the barbell. It
helped him think, the rhythm of it. Up, down, up, down. If this, then that. The
burn in his arms and the adrenaline gave his brain what it needed to actually
consider things for once. Doing his reps gave him the time he needed to get
everything together, look at it carefully, and see what it all meant.
His relationship with Leo had changed. He didn’t want to think about it again,
because his blood was pumping and he didn’t need to be lying there trying to
keep his dick in his shell. Lately it was all he thought about, but he just
went round and round. He couldn’t see the start of it or the way out, it was
all murky.
The facts told him nothing. Yeah, Leo had jerked him off and Raph had done it
back to him, but Leo had done it for Mikey and Donnie too. He’d done it for
them first, done it more often than he had for Raph. It didn’t mean anything,
but it kind of did for Raph. He didn’t know what though. He didn’t know what he
wanted, or why he sometimes felt happy about it and sometimes sad and sometimes
angry. Sometimes he wanted to tell Leo to not do it for the others anymore, and
sometimes he didn’t see the need, and sometimes the thought of saying that
scared him.
He had really liked it when Leo touched him. That had been the point, he
guessed, but he had really, really liked it. So much so he had gone back the
next day, and the next, then realised what he was doing and stopped. He didn’t
want to be Leo’s little lapdog. He was supposed to be the strong one. The big
tough one. The one who, eventually, they would respect, even if they would
never follow him like they followed Leo because he wasn’t smart like Leo was.
Yeah, Raph knew stuff went over his head sometimes. Maybe a lot of the time,
when he let himself get angry. And no one made him angry like Leo. But no one
made him happy like Leo either. Leo was almost never nice to him, not really.
Sure, he did what Raph asked him to do if he didn’t have a reason to say no,
like the hand job, but he was never nice. He was never mean either, or only
about as often as he was nice, when they were really fighting for real. But Leo
never did nice things for Raph without being asked, or gave him compliments
that weren’t just him trying to make himself sound like a leader. God, he hated
it when Leo complimented his progress in his ninja training like he was the
teacher. That got Raph really steamed.
But sometimes he would do or say something nice, like maybe on Raph’s birthday.
They had got sick of sharing the anniversary of the day Splinter found them as
their birthday, so they had all picked a day based on the zodiac. Raph was
Aries. There had been some discussion of whether or not he was more like a ram
than a bull, and whether he should be Taurus instead, but Aries sounded like
the god of war, so Raph picked that. Leo was a Leo, of course. Donnie was
Libra, the scales. Mikey was harder. Raph had joked that he should be Virgo,
despite the fact that they were all virgins and they all knew it, but Leo had
told him not to be mean, and Mikey had eventually picked Pisces, because they
looked like anchovies and he liked anchovy pizza.
So they all had birthdays and gave each other presents, and Leo could be nice
to him then. More like a brother, dropping the leader obsession for a day. And
Raph liked that, the little things, like when he made Leo laugh for real.
Usually Leo just smirked or told him off for his jokes. But those real moments
were few and far between. He knew he loved Leo. He loved all his brothers. He
had to when they were the only four of their kind in the world. It was a small
family and he would need them for the rest of his life. He would die for any of
them in a heartbeat.
But he was getting off track again, distracted, his brain just running around
instead of focusing. He had stopped going to Leo, because he had realised he
was doing it too much, and it felt like playing his hand somehow. Like
something embarrassing was showing. Like maybe he liked it too much and if Leo
noticed he would say something Raph didn’t want to hear. The question was,
what? And would he ever go back? And why did the thought of stopping for good
make his stomach twist?
Raph rested the barbell on its supports and caught his breath, scowling. Was it
something obvious that everyone else had figured out, if his brothers had felt
this way too? He knew Donnie had stopped going. Mikey hadn’t, though he had
cooled off a bit. Maybe there was something about it that meant it was only fun
for a little while.
If there was, he hadn’t found it. He’d gladly go back right then. He liked
doing Leo almost more than he liked being done by him, and he knew Leo wasn’t
getting that anywhere else but from him. He had told Raph the others had never
offered. And it was just really tempting, to push his fearless leader, smug and
stoic all the time, into that position. He had learned that Leo liked to lie
down when he was getting played with, and that his slit was his kryptonite,
though he liked to pretend that it wasn’t. Raph had pulled Leo’s pants down and
knelt between his legs, jerking his dick and fiddling with the wet red slit in
his plastron, and smiled while Leo turned his head to one side, his eyes
squeezed shut, panting, his hips rolling. Would Leo miss it? Probably not. He
had never approached any of the others for a turn before Raph had insisted.
Yeah, Leo was probably too cool for all that.
Raph drummed his fingers on his plastron. He wasn’t getting anywhere. It was
like there was a big hole in the middle and nothing else fit together, like
doing a jigsaw when he couldn’t see the box.
He rolled up off the bench and went to shower. It was the middle of the day so
no one would be in the bathroom. Their showers were one of Donnie’s inventions.
Somehow he had managed to filter off clean water and heat it and pump it into a
wet room big enough for the four of them. Raph didn’t know how he did it, but
he was just glad he had.
Raph grabbed his towel from his room and headed over, casting his eye over the
rest of their home as he passed through. Mikey and Donnie were where he
expected them to be, but he couldn’t see Leo. He was probably reading in his
room again, like he couldn’t stand to spend time with them.
There were some tied up hockey sticks that made a bench for his stuff, so he
took it all off and left it there. He knew he wore a lot of junk that didn’t
really serve a purpose, a lot of sweatbands and rags tied like ribbons here and
there, but they all did it. Every piece had some kind of meaning, representing
love for a brother or a promise or a victory. Just like his mask, they were
what made him up.
Some of it wouldn’t come off unless it was cut off, and those would just have
to get wet. The markings he painted on his shell would wash off too. He would
have to get Mikey to do them again for him. At least the tattoos his brother
had inked under his skin would stay, and he rubbed them absently as he walked
naked into the shower.
The knob turned with a cranking noise and the pipes rattled and growled, then
hot water was running down his neck and he started soaping himself up.
Raph thought about sex. He couldn’t even imagine a female mutant turtle like
them, let alone actual, real sex with one. Would he even be turned on? Would
she have breasts? How would that work with their shells? It couldn’t. He and
his brothers had all seen porn of course, with humans in it. Donnie’s computer
was one of the best in the world, and when they had accidentally stumbled onto
a site they shouldn’t have, they hadn’t immediately clicked off it like
Splinter would have wanted them to.
Raph could admit to himself that breasts looked like fun. He would like to see
what they felt like. And mouths looked good too. And all that naked skin was
enticing in its way, even if it did make Raph think of a peeled turtle. But he
couldn’t see the appeal in what human women had to offer down there. It just
looked messy and over-the-top compared to Leo’s neat slit, pink on the inside,
green on the outside, with a big red cock in the middle. Maybe he only felt
that way because he had no other options, but that would never change, so what
was the point in questioning it?
Leo walked in, and Raph tried not to jump. Leo was naked too, carrying a towel
in his hand. Leo saw him and paused, then strolled casually to the next shower
head, throwing his towel on a hook before turning it on.
Raph’s heart was suddenly pounding, but neither of them said anything. They
knew that, okay, being naked for them wasn’t exactly like being naked for
humans. All the immodest bits were hidden under their shells, and their slits
were almost invisible unless they were turned on. But they had all come to the
same silent agreement to give each other privacy around the same time, and it
had been years since they’d been comfortable without clothes, or really seen
each other without their masks on. Of course, they saw each other without their
masks all the time, since they didn’t sleep or bathe with them on and they were
living basically on top of each other, but it was still weird. They wore them
more often than not.
Raph tried not to look at Leo and failed. His brother was leaner than he was.
Still huge, of course, and no softy, but he didn’t have the extra plating on
his shell like Raph did, he was smoother. It was weird seeing him without the
mask. Without it, his body paint running into the drain, all his little bits
and pieces that he wore somewhere safe and dry, he really did look naked
somehow. He didn’t have tattoos like Raph did. He was so green, a shade lighter
than Raph, and his eyes were so blue when they flicked to Raph’s, catching him
looking, making him look away in a hurry. Raph wondered what he looked like to
Leo, and whether he should hurry up and finish or take his time. He soaped his
chest nervously.
Raph could see Leo’s tail, a little useless thing shorter than a hand. Raph had
one too of course, they all did, but they were all kind of embarrassed by them.
They didn’t do anything but wag a couple inches either side. They looked lame.
They weren’t useful like their shells, so all they really did was remind them
they weren’t human.
Raph didn’t get it. Leo would have known he was in there. He would have heard
the water running and seen his stuff on the bench. He must have come in on
purpose.
Leo cleared his throat, then made Raph wait for what he was going to say.
“How you doing, Raph?” he said.
Raph scrambled for what that could possibly mean, but came up empty. “Fine,” he
grunted, on the defensive. He didn’t know what was going on here and he hated
when Leo played games like this. He never got them and Leo knew it, so it
always felt like Leo was making fun of him.
“Haven’t seen you in a while,” Leo continued.
“Yeah, you have.” They lived together in what was almost one room. They
couldn’t go more than a couple of hours without running into someone. He had
glimpsed Leo before he had started his workout.
“I mean-!” Leo sounded annoyed and cut himself off, pressing his lips together.
Raph felt chastised and guilty and stupid, and he didn’t even know why Leo was
pissed off. It didn’t feel fair.
“I mean for… you know…”
“Oh,” Raph said, cottoning on but not feeling any better for it. He turned back
to face the tiles. “So?” was all he could think of to say.
“Nothing. Just wanted to make sure… you’re okay,” Leo said.
Raph stewed on that one, trying not to enjoy Leo worrying about him because he
didn’t believe it was as simple as that.
“I’m fine,” he said again. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
Leo sighed heavily. “God, Raph, would it kill you to just be honest for once?”
“Honest? I’m not the one following people into showers to ask if they’re okay
like they don’t have some other reason they’re not owning up to,” Raph accused,
the words rushing out of him, his shower momentarily forgotten as he stared at
Leo and his stupid blue husky eyes.
Leo scowled and then it was his turn to face the tiles as if Raph wasn’t there.
“Fine, forget it,” he spat after a moment, turning off the shower and grabbing
his towel. He stalked out of the wet room, but before he turned the corner he
spun back and said. “I didn’t do this to you, you know. I helped you when you
asked for it.”
He stormed off, leaving Raph staring after him, confused as hell. How was this
connected to that? What the hell was Leo mad about? Raph would have thought the
guy would have liked to give his wrist a rest, to not have to touch his
brothers any more than he had to. Raph suddenly wasn’t enjoying his shower
anymore, and the sound of the pipes was annoying so he turned it off, and stood
there dripping until he got cold, then he towelled off, and Leo was nowhere to
be seen when he peeked outside.
Raph grabbed his stuff and went and hid in his room to think.
It was the middle of the night when it hit him. He rolled out of bed and snuck
over to the small alcove that Leo had claimed as his den, pushing through the
curtain without signalling first. All the lights were off, and Leo was asleep
on the bed, a lumpy shape making breathing noises.
“Leo!” Raph whispered, knowing better to touch his brother when he was asleep
or risk getting attacked. “Leo!”
His brother’s eyes shone in the dark. “Raph?” he croaked, pushing himself up.
“I figured it out,” Raph said, moving closer.
“Figured what out?” Leo asked, running his hand over his face. He wasn’t
wearing his mask again, and Raph realised he wasn’t wearing his either. “What
time is it?”
Raph put his hands on his brother’s knees and knelt between them. “What you
were talking about earlier.”
Leo went still under his hands. “Oh yeah?” he breathed.
“Yeah,” Raph whispered back, his breath coming quicker as his heartbeat sped
up. “You wanted me. To do you like before, I mean. You missed it.”
He leaned closer but Leo didn’t respond. He reached for the waistband of the
shorts Leo had worn to bed. “You could have just asked me.”
“Thought you didn’t want to do it,” Leo mumbled.
“Then why’d you pick me?”
“You said you did want to, before.”
Raph had to think for a moment to remember that one. “Oh yeah, I did.”
“Do you?”
“What?”
“Want to?”
“Yeah,” Raph breathed. He rubbed his thumb over Leo’s slit, feeling the motion
get slick as Leo’s body got ready to push his dick out into the open. Leo
stiffened and tilted his head back, trying to contain his reaction, as usual.
“Hey Leo,” Raph mused. “How come we never kissed?”
Leo looked at him, eyes still catching what little light there was and
glinting. “‘Cause. It’d be weird.”
“And this isn’t?”
“I don’t know.”
“You ever kissed anyone before?”
Leo snorted. “Like who?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, no, I haven’t.”
“Don’t you want to?”
“Why?”
“See what it feels like.” Leo didn’t look convinced, so Raph tried again.
“Don’t you wanna know how?”
“Why?” Leo’s voice was morose that time, asking the question they all lived
with: what was the point? Would they ever have anyone other than each other?
Did they have a future above ground? Would humans ever accept them?
Raph raised one shoulder and dropped it, looking at his hand on his brother’s
slit rather than his face. Leo didn’t want Raph to kiss him. No big deal.
“In case we ever get out of here,” he replied, his voice subdued too, but he
wasn’t often the optimistic one.
“Is that what you’re doing? Practicing?”
“I don’t know.” He didn’t know. He didn’t know what the hell he was doing or
why he was doing it when Leo was asking him all these damn questions.
There was a long pause, then Leo said “Alright,” his voice quiet in the dark.
Raph took his hands off his brother’s body, planting his fists on either side
of Leo’s thighs to push himself up on his knees and lean forward. Leo did not
move to meet him, instead he stayed leaning back, his blue eyes wary as they
flicked between Raph’s eyes and mouth. Raph inched forward, no idea how to
proceed, what he was meant to do. With his lips slightly apart, pushed slightly
forward, he pressed them against Leo’s. He didn’t think he was supposed to
pucker up like they had when they were kids giving Splinter kisses on the cheek
before bed. That wasn’t what it looked like in movies.
Leo’s lips were flat and firm and dry, much like Raph imagined his were. For a
second, they didn’t do anything, but then they pushed back against Raph’s. They
kissed like that a few times, tensing and relaxing, unsure how to fit together.
Raph wasn’t sure if it felt good or not. It felt good that Leo was kissing him
back, but it felt awkward and clumsy too. Raph pulled away first, giving a
nervous smile. He’d liked it, he decided. His lips kind of tingled with the
memory of the feeling. He was better at making Leo come though.
He cleared his throat, unsure what to say. “You can lie down,” was what came
out.
Leo grunted and lay back as if he was used to it. Raph shuffled between his
knees, and Leo showed no concern about having him there, his legs spread, his
tight asshole on display. Raph laid his fingers over Leo’s slit and licked him
there where he could. He liked licking him, and he knew it made Leo feel good.
Leo’s dick swelled under his plastron but Raph kept the sides of the shell from
spreading, keeping his dick trapped.
Leo squirmed on the bed, his breathing sharp, his hands coming up to rest on
his chest as he fidgeted. “Raph…” he groaned eventually. “Move your hand.”
Raph smirked. “Why?”
“It’s uncomfortable…”
“Nah, you like it.” He moved his hand to the side, still not letting Leo’s dick
out, and licked the red flesh through the gap in his shell, making Leo’s waist
tighten suddenly. “You’re all pink and wet here like a girl,” he said idly.
“Fuck you!” Leo gasped, his foot suddenly against Raph’s shoulder, pushing him
away as he looked down his body at him, his expression shocked and hurt.
“Huh?” Raph said, surprised at the extreme reaction.
“Don’t call me a girl!”
“I didn’t!”
“You did!” Leo tried to sit up, struggling with Raph where he was.
“I didn’t mean it like that! I didn’t mean it,” Raph said, his voice softening
to appease his brother, knocking his foot away and using his upper body to pin
Leo’s stomach. Leo tried to push him off but Raph would not be moved. He had
size and weight and the position advantage.
“Get off me,” Leo growled, heaving against Raph’s shell, but Raph wrapped his
arms around Leo’s hips and held on.
“I’m sorry, I said something stupid, I didn’t mean it,” Raph said, his head
pressed into his brother’s stomach.
Leo gave up fighting. “I’m not a girl.”
“I know.”
“Is that what you want?”
“Huh?”
“Is that what you want?”
“A girl?”
“Yeah.”
Raph thought about it. He didn’t know what to say. The way Leo said it made him
think it wasn’t a simple question. His voice had a tone to it that Raph
recognised as usually coming before he said the wrong thing and Leo got mad at
him. Were they talking about a girl human, or a girl turtle? Or a girl Leo? Did
he want Leo to be a girl?
“No.”
“No?” Leo questioned.
Raph raised his head to look at him. It was too dark to see the expression on
his face, but there was a note in his voice like he was suspicious, like he
didn’t think Raph was telling the truth.
Raph shrugged one shoulder. Had that been the wrong answer? But it was true. He
didn’t want Leo to be a girl. “No.”
There was a pause as they tried to see each other’s faces in the dark, until
Leo mumbled “Okay,” and Raph grunted in acknowledgement.
He let Leo go, sitting back on his heels again between his leader’s legs. It
didn’t feel awkward or embarrassing that Leo’s erection had slipped out in
their struggling and now stood exposed between them. It felt like Raph had a
point to make. Leo had started a fight just when Raph was trying to be nice,
and he was still a little annoyed about it. He wanted to prove to Leo that he
needed Raph. He reached for Leo’s dick and squeezed gently, getting it used to
his touch. Leo made a noise like he was going to say something then thought
better of it, and lay back down.
Raph leant forward and took the head of Leo’s dick into his mouth. This was how
he liked to make Leo come. His brother tasted salty and kind of… lizardy. There
was no other word for it. Like mutation. Like a fish tank. He had to be careful
with his teeth, but they had big mouths so Raph had all the room he needed to
curl his tongue around his brother’s shaft and suck.
Leo grunted and his breathing sped up, but he was still being stoic, determined
not to let Raph see how he affected him. Raph didn’t care as long as Leo didn’t
stop him. Leo was just being Leo. Raph knew how much it took for Leo to even
admit he needed this.
Raph tilted his head and sunk down further, taking more of Leo, trying to close
his lips around him without biting him. He was aware of how much this was
turning him on too, and he dropped one hand between his thighs, rubbing his own
slit over his shorts. His dick was swollen too, pushing against his shell, but
he didn’t want to let it out just yet. This was about Leo, and while he could
easily jerk himself off to this, there was always the chance that Leo would
offer. Raph didn’t want to let his dick out until he had to, because once it
was out it wouldn’t go back in until he came.
“Can I hold your head?” Leo choked, and Raph almost didn’t hear him. He was
focused on sucking his dick, and the sounds had almost covered Leo’s quiet,
unsure request.
Raph had to sit up to respond, licking his lips to tidy up. “Huh?”
“Can I- Can I hold your head? While you’re doing that? I won’t push you or
anything, it just… feels weird…not to...”
“Sure,” Raph said. He didn’t know what to expect, but if it was something Leo
wanted, he’d do it.
He ducked his head back to Leo’s plastron, catching his dick in his mouth
again, and Leo’s hand settled against his cheek. He paused for a minute, but
Leo only held him, not exerting any pressure one way or the other. He cupped
his face with his fingers resting on the back of Raph’s head, and Raph was
surprised by the hot flush that swept over him. Even with Leo’s dick on his
tongue, his palm against his cheek felt more intimate. His skin was warm and
his fingers were gentle, and it felt like a loving posture, even if Leo didn’t
love him. It was how humans touched each other in movies right before they
kissed, and Raph’s heart was suddenly pounding in his chest.
He shifted his weight uncomfortably and moaned, his slit leaking as his dick
forced its way out into his shorts, making Raph twitch as his sensitive skin
hit the fabric. He had tried to keep it in, but it had slid from his body in a
wet surge, betraying him with a now obvious tent between his legs. He couldn’t
keep himself from shoving a hand under his waistband to grab it and jerk it, it
was too demanding. He wondered if Leo could see what he was doing in the dark,
was watching him. Chances were that his crotch was blocked by the bed, but Leo
should be able to guess where Raph’s hand was and what it was doing. He thrust
into his own fist and moaned around Leo’s dick again.
He forced himself to focus on finishing Leo, despite one hand being glued to
his own cock. With Leo’s dick holding his slit open, Raph could feel the heat
radiating from inside Leo’s body against his chin and nose on every downstroke.
Raph sucked him hard, and Leo’s hand against his face tightened just a little.
With his fingers, Raph touched Leo’s slit, knowing how sensitive he was there.
His fingers felt fat and rough whenever he did this, scared that his calluses
would be sharp against the delicate pink flesh under Leo’s shell. He preferred
to use his tongue, but he was afraid that if he pulled his mouth away from
Leo’s cock, his leader would take his hand off his face.
Leo bucked as Raph probed the small space under his dick and brought his other
hand to cup Raph’s other cheek, holding his head like a football but still not
pushing him. Leo just rubbed the back of Raph’s neck like he didn’t know he was
doing it. The harder Raph pressed into Leo’s slit, the more he liked it,
gasping out loud and writhing, but Raph was so afraid of hurting him. He didn’t
like doing this to himself. When he wanted to come quickly, he usually just
imagined Leo agreeing to something particularly nasty and out of character,
like Leo on his knees to suck his cock, or being happy to see him or kissing
him with tongue.
Drooling on Leo’s dick, Raph moved his hand and gently pulled at the edges of
Leo’s slit. He dipped a finger inside and strummed the edge like a guitar
string, and Leo groaned and flooded Raph’s mouth with come. Raph moaned again
and pumped himself harder, chasing his own orgasm as he let Leo paint his
tongue. He closed his lips around Leo’s shaft and squeezed the wetness around
it, feeling it twitch. Raph came with his mouth full of come, wetting his
shorts and feeling his spunk drip onto his thighs. When Leo finished, gasping
and panting on the bed, Raph pulled his head back, Leo’s come running out of
his mouth and down the leader’s dick. Raph looked for something to wipe it off
with, but couldn’t see anything in the dark, so he just grabbed the corner of
Leo’s blanket, wiping his mouth first. He knew it was gross but whatever, Leo
could wash it tomorrow.
He listened to Leo get his breath back, watching his big chest heave and the
light reflect off his eyes as they stared at the ceiling. Raph tidied Leo’s
deflating dick away, tucking it back into his shell for him, being careful to
make sure he was comfortable. Raph knew from personal experience that if it
went in wrong, it was difficult to correct, and could bug him all day.
Raph couldn’t think of anything to say, and the silence was getting too heavy
for him. He needed to get back to his own bunk and change his shorts. Leaving
without saying anything felt unbearably cold though. He stood up and cleared
his throat, still tasting Leo’s come, wiping his thigh with the leg of his
shorts as he felt his load start to trickle down. He hovered awkwardly.
“Done?” he said.
Leo struggled up into a sitting position, bringing them closer together in the
small space. “Are you?”
“Er, yeah, I… er,” Raph hesitated, gesturing.
“Really?”
“Yeah,” Raph replied defensively.
“You didn’t want me to?”
“I, er… couldn’t wait.”
“Oh. Okay,” Leo said, sounding flattered and surprised by it. “Next time then.”
“Yeah… Next time.”
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