Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/8329063.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Ensemble_Stars!_(Video_Game)
  Relationship:
      Sakuma_Rei/Sakuma_Ritsu, Hakaze_Kaoru/Sakuma_Rei, Itsuki_Shu/Kagehira
      Mika, Sakuma_Rei/Itsuki_Shu, Sakuma_Rei/Sakuma_Ritsu/Hakaze_Kaoru, Isara
      Mao/Sakuma_Ritsu
  Additional Tags:
      Sibling_Incest, Blood_Drinking, Vampires, Threesome
  Series:
      Part 2 of Who_Cares,_It's_Vampires
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-10-20 Chapters: 10/? Words: 81865
****** Exactly Three Stressors ******
by daphnerunning, Galiko
Summary
     Rei can handle exactly three stressors in his life--Ritsu, family,
     and music. Hakaze Kaoru poses an extra level of irritation, and Rei's
     patience eventually snaps like the strings of his bow.
     Continuation of the first fic in this series, but you don't
     necessarily need to read it; it just offers some backstory. Going
     into post-graduation future fic territory.
***** Chapter 1 *****
On the rare day that Mika doesn’t return home at the same time as Shu, it’s
usually because of errands. 

Grocery stores aren’t awful, and the ones in Shu’s neighborhood in particular
are populated mostly by shuffling, elderly ladies that can’t reach the top
shelves of things. Not that Mika can either (the one time he wishes Shu would
come shopping with him), but at least he doesn’t have a bum hip that prevents
him from stretching up and grabbing things. With a list in hand, he doesn’t
completely bumble his way through a quick grocery trip, and talking to the
cashier at least only involves an exchange of currency before he’s on his way
home as usual. 

This should be normal. This should be fine. 

Instead, when he opens the front door, a customary “Oshi-san~ I’m home!”
leaving his mouth, the sudden, strange smell of cigarettes--freshly smoked, not
in the house, but maybe just outside of it?--hits his nose, and a pair of
sleepily annoyed red eyes glare at him from the couch amongst the dimmed light
of the living room.

Mika freezes, takes a step back, and shuts the front door. Nope, nope, nope.

Sakuma Rei is scary. Tall, and imposing, and way too sexy and cool, Mika has no
idea why he’s on Shu’s couch, but that’s another level of frightening that he
doesn’t even want to process. He takes a step back from the front steps as a
precautionary measure and stares at the front door, thinking of his next plan
of action. Does Shu know? Is this something that’s just going to happen now?
Why on the couch? Why here, why not...anywhere else? Doesn’t he have a coffin? 

 To: Kagehira
 I heard the door, but you aren’t here. Did you forget something at the store?
Mistakes like that are intolerable. I’m not worried about you so come home.

Mika scrambles to pull his phone out of his pocket, and stares at the text for
a moment, wary. Is this a trick? Does Shu know and didn’t warn him? 

 To: Oshi-san
 ??????????? is that sakuma rei on the couch bc omg oshi-san he’s so
scary??????? 

 To: Kagehira
 Don’t be an idiot. He’s not scary. He’s my friend. Come home at once and I’ll
tell you everything. You know texting gives me a headache.

 To: Kagehira
 Not that I care if you’re out or anything.

 To: Kagehira
 Where are you?

 To: Oshi-san
 i am literally standing outside hte front door dont tell me he isn’t scary
oshi-san because he is SO SCARY

 To: Oshi-san
 was he smoking because i can smell cigarettes?????? that freaks me out im
sorry!!!!! 

The front door opens, and a very displeased-looking Itsuki Shu walks onto the
front porch, hand held over his eyes to shade them from the light as he closes
the door behind him. “There you are. What’s wrong with you? Why are you making
me worry? Not that I was worried.” His nose twitches, and he makes a face.
“I’ll talk to him about the smoking. Disgusting habit. I won’t have that kind
of thing around my dolls.”

Mika flinches, huddling behind the shopping bags still clutched in his arms. “I
think…I think I jus’ smelled it outside, but…” He trails off, looking warily up
at Shu. “How sure are you that he’s not gonna eat me? Or you? He’s scary, Oshi-
san, I mean, everyone says he’s a real vampire and everythin’…”
 
Shu opens his mouth to retort that obviously Rei is a real vampire, then
belatedly remembers that some people would find that frightening, rather than
fascinating. Instead, he frowns. “He’s a dear friend of mine whose parents told
him not to come home. I expect you to show him some respect as a guest in our
house.” He pauses, then leans close and murmurs, “Besides, you like creepy
things. Aren’t vampires creepy?”
 
“I like creepy and cute things, all at once,” Mika sulkily protests, unable to
put up much of a real argument when the reason Rei is actually there comes to
light. “Sakuma-sempai doesn’t seem cute at all.” He sighs, hanging his head.
“Sorry, I know ‘m bein’ rude, it jus’ scared me to see him there, that’s all…”
 
Shu hesitates, then reaches out to pat Mika’s head, ruffling that shockingly
soft hair. “It’s fine. I should have warned you, I suppose. He’s not planning
to live here, don’t worry. Come along, it’s too bright out here and I want to
start dinner. Mm, it’s been quite a while since he had one of my casseroles...”
 
Mika grimaces at the idea of casserole (those are frightening, even to him),
but butts his head up into Shu’s hand all the same as he follows after him.
Reflexively, he reaches out, grabbing at the back of Shu’s shirt. “Jus’ so long
as he’s not gonna live here,” he quietly hedges. “I like livin’ alone with you,
it would be weird.”
 
“Don’t be ridiculous. This is our home.” Shu turns to give him a swift kiss
before opening the door, shooing him inside. “We don’t need a vampire
cluttering our lifestyle. Especially not one that snores and doesn’t contribute
to rent and cries with “oioioioioioi” when his little brother won’t return his
texts.”
 
“…cries with…what now?” Mika echoes in confusion, stumbling into the house and
kicking off his shoes.
 
“Must you keep opening and closing that door?” comes Rei’s bemoaning from the
couch, a pillow firmly yanked over his face. “It’s so bright, Shu, please have
mercy…”
 
“My house has a very particular aesthetic. Being light and airy in the daytime
is part of it. I’d offer you my bedroom, but Mika can’t handle the cigarette
smoke.” Shu snatches the pillow, then lets it drop on Rei’s face again. “And he
pays rent, so be nice.”
 
“I won’t smoke in your bedroom, Shu…ahhh, so cruel, so cruel…” Rei rolls slowly
onto his side, peering sadly over his pillow once it has been recaptured. “Ah,
this is the infamous Mika? What a cute one. Did I startle you before?”
 
“It’s f-f-fine,” Mika squeaks, clinging more tightly to the back of Shu’s
shirt. “Sorry for waking you!”
 
Rei blinks slowly at him, then to Shu again. “I’m going to die in the sunlight
and continue to frighten your pretty doll at this rate. Please lend me your
bedroom.”
 
“Shower, change into something of mine, and then you may lie in my bed.” Shu
lays a hand on the couch, leaning in with a firm gaze. “My soft, soft bed that
you’ve waxed rhapsodically about on several occasions.”
 
“Ahh, fair enough, fair enough…it does feel like a cloud…” Rei muses, hauling
himself up from the couch with great effort. “You’re a wonderful host as
always, Shu; I thank you for your care.”
 
Rei drifts away with the purpose of someone that knows the layout of Shu’s
house well, and Mika stares after him warily, still not detaching himself from
Shu’s back. “Tall,” he mumbles. “Thought he’d talk a lot more like a criminal
or somethin’, though.”
 
“He’s only four centimeters taller than I am,” Shu says with a sniff, and puts
an arm possessively around Mika’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about him, he’s just a
strange old man at heart. Haven’t you ever met his little brother? They’re
hardly frightening.”
 
“Tall,” Mika insists, dropping his grocery bags finally to latch firmly onto
Shu’s waist. “I know his little brother, sorta? But in the way that like, he
only gets called on less than me in class ‘cuz he’s sleepin’ or not there…when
he’s awake, he’s kinda mean, though…”
 
Shu shrugs. “I’ve known Rei since he was an obnoxious first violinist with
something to prove. He’s a dear friend. Hmph, I suppose I can’t simply order
you to not be afraid of him, so I’ll just ask you to try not to make him feel
uncomfortable as a guest in our home. Didn’t your mother ever have guests
over?”
 
“…Comparin’ Sakuma-sempai to the kinda people my mama had over probably isn’t
gonna help much.”
 
“...Ah.” Shu raises his eyebrows for a moment, then sets off for the kitchen,
tying on his pink apron. “Fair enough, I misspoke. Here, if you’ve got nervous
energy, bring out those eyeless dolls you found, the poor creatures. I’ll show
you how to repin their hair.”
 
“Weren’t you gonna make casserole?” Mika nevertheless plops down at the kitchen
table, breathing out a long, measured sigh in an attempt to settle his nerves.
Knowing his reactions are stupid and kneejerk is one thing—doing something
about it is another, most of the time. “It’s okay if you wanna hang out with
him tonight, Oshi-san. I jus’, uh. I forgot you’ve got other friends, ‘cuz we
always hang out t’gether instead.”
 
“Don’t be absurd. He sleeps all day, and will doubtless want to go chase after
his brother all night.” Shu offers a soft touch to Mika’s cheek, and a wan
smile. “Friends are draining. You recharge me.”

The flush that rises to Mika’s cheeks is accompanied by a flutter of heat in
his chest, and he shoves his face against Shu’s touch, rubbing against his hand
as he reaches up to clutch Shu’s wrist. “But is he really a vampire?” he asks
in a hushed whisper. “Like--has he ever bitten you?” 

“Never. Not even in fun.” Shu leans in, pressing a quick kiss to Mika’s cheek,
then his nose, then his lips. “He’d never do that to you, either. I know you’ve
never had many friends, but believe me when I say that he’s a very dear one who
respects me and those that I love.” He brushes a strand of hair back into
place, then adds, “I do absolutely believe that he’s a vampire, though. A real
one, as you say.”

“...Okay,” Mika exhales softly. “Sorry--I didn’t mean t’get freaked out, I
jus’...”

“Ahh, you’re so complimentary, my darling Shu~ Why don’t you ever say those
kinds of things to my face, hmm?” A quiet jazz chord progression on Shu’s piano
follows from the living room before it trails off into a full improvised
interlude. “I feel like Beatrice loves me more sometimes than you do.” 

“Of course she does. You touch her so gently, but have nothing but demands for
me. And critique of my cooking, which is far better than the last time you had
it. Isn’t it sufficient, M-Mika?” It feels odd on his tongue to use Mika’s
first name around someone else, as if he’s letting them in on a vulnerable
secret that isn’t his to tell.

Mika’s face flushes even hotter--not even once, not even once has Shu called me
that in front of someone else--and he slinks down into his chair slowly, a
delightful mix pleased and embarrassed. “Ah...y-yeah, I...” He did it, you can
do it, too! Rei must be good if Shu did that. “I think it’s real good, Shu...”

“I could touch you gently, Shu,” Rei cheerfully tosses back over his shoulder,
pushing his damp hair back behind one ear. “But I won’t touch your cooking, no
matter what your darling says. You know what sounds nice? Ordering pizza.” 

“Are you in on this conspiracy?” Shu demands, ignoring the way the tips of his
ears are flushed as pink as his hair. “I’ve already done that once this month.
What if the pizza person remembers? That would be absurd. No, no, you can live
without tomatoes for one evening. I thought you were stealing my bed, anyway.”

“Only once? Come now, Shu, be a normal human for five minutes in your life,”
Rei hums, plucking his way through another chord progression that shifts
reflexively into a slower version of Honey Milk. “Normal humans order pizza all
the time. I’ll have your bed as soon as I’m sated; if you wake me up in the
daylight, I end up miserably hungry these days. Your fault, this time.” 

“You showed up in the daylight, Rei.” Shu roots through his cupboards for a few
minutes, pulling out various vegetables. “Order one for yourself, if you like,
but I need to govern Ka--Mika’s caloric intake, and he’s low on Vitamin B.”

“You could be sweet and let me have a little taste from you instead--ahh,
Ritsu’s been so cruel to me lately, holding out on me...” 

Mika stares, wide-eyed, slowly pulling out one of his plushies to start sewing
on one of their ears again. 

“Don’t you have a whole unit to bother?” Shu starts slicing up a daikon,
wrinkling his nose at the admittedly inoffensive smell. “Or are you worried
they’ll see you less as a father figure if you need a place to stay?”

“Ouch, right in the heart as always,” Rei sighs, starting to play one of the
old compositions from Valkyrie’s first year in the mildest form of revenge he
can muster. “If I knew I was going to be treated like this, I would have tried
to stomach the Emperor in Wataru’s bedroom a bit longer.” 

“Tch!” 

Shu tosses the daikon into the rice cooker with a few cups of rice, as noisily
as possible. “If you’re trying to humiliate me with past compositions, try
harder. I’m proud of all the things I’ve--all right, but stop playing it.
You’re making Mika uncomfortable.”

“...I mean, it’s still real pretty, Oshi--uh, S-Shu, so I don’t mind--”

“Listen to this good boy you’ve caught, Shu. You have to keep him,” Rei hums,
plucking through the counterpart of the piece a moment longer before modulating
it to one of their Toybox songs instead. “Anyway, to answer your question, my
children aren’t aware, and neither is Ritsu. Let’s keep it that way, shall we?”

Shu nods shortly, flipping on the rice cooker, then belatedly tossing in a few
chestnuts for protein. “Your secret is safe with me, of course. I assume the
cleaning of the Light Music Room is the cause for you avoiding your coffin?
What on earth have you been eating, or shouldn’t I ask?” He doesn’t deign to
answer the comment about keeping Mika. That much should be obvious.

“It’s so noisy when they have to wax the floors,” Rei moans, slumping forward
against the piano for a moment, hitting a few dissonant keys in the process.
“It drives me crazy--but not as crazy as Wataru’s little obsession, which I
wish I hadn’t helped with, honestly, because now his house is often off-limits.
All of my problems are worsened by my nature, including how hungry I am,
because Ritsu is furious with me that I haven’t been home in a week. No, I
haven’t sucked anyone else dry, before you ask. Ahh, I feel like such a
disgusting bum...” 

Shu relaxes slightly, shoulders unclenching a fraction at the news that Rei
isn’t currently murdering anyone. He tries not to ask, but the very concept
that his friends have so often alluded to makes his skin crawl, at the very
least. This is fine, though. “Why not tell at least him? Wouldn’t you rather he
hear it from you than your parents? Not that I care, of course. Mika, you can’t
possibly be repairing that doll’s ear before her eyes. How is she supposed to
see?”

“I’ve tried to talk to him, but he’s so angry at me from the first night I
didn’t come home that he won’t even speak to me,” Rei says sadly. “And when he
does, it’s in keigo, can you believe it? He’s so c-cruel to meeee...” Rei
slumps against the piano even more, sniffling as he knocks his head against the
top of it. 

This is very different than the persona Mika is used to seeing at every single
Undead concert, and he tries not to stare, slack-jawed. “I...ah...sorry, Oshi-
san,” he manages. “I wanted her ears to be able to stand up right first.”

“You can make fun of Rei,” Shu assures him. “This is far more his true self. Do
you understand why I said he isn’t scary now?”

“Nooo, don’t make fun of me,” Rei wails, trying to hug the piano like it’s his
last lifeline. “I’m just a sad old man and my little brother doesn’t love meee-
-”

Mika blinks rapidly. “Ah...y-yeah, I’m startin’ t’kinda--”

“He won’t even accept my invitations to my coffin anymore, even though it’s so
much larger than his own! What has this world become--”

“...Shu, can you show me how to sew those fancy eyes in?” Mika weakly tries
underneath Rei’s wailing, quickly turning to sobbing. Wow, he really does sob
like  ‘oioioioioi.’ 

“Fetch them from the sewing attic. They should...” Shu squints his eyes, trying
to remember. “They should be in the bottom drawer of my great-aunt’s armoire.
You know what the box looks like, right?”

Mika nods, quickly clambering to his feet and gently setting his plush in place
on the table. “Yep, I remember! I’ll be back in a minute!”

Rei huffs, pulling down the piano’s key cover and flopping down atop it with a
sigh as Mika trots off. “That’s a good boy,” he sniffles. “A very good find,
and he loves you so much. Ahh, you’re so lucky, Shu...”

“...I know.” 

Shu rests his hands on the counter, staring out the window at his neighbor’s
stupid little dog sniffing the base of a tree. “He’s too good for me, Rei. I
keep telling him to leave but...I worry about him, without me. I worry about
him with me. Unfortunately, I think I finally understand the way you always
used to talk about your little brother. Less creepy, of course.”

“Used to talk about my little brother? How d-dare you, I still--” Rei sniffles
again, and wipes his nose inelegantly with his sleeve. “I still talk about him
sofondly, not creepily. But that one of yours, he’s very good. He clearly wants
to be with you, so you don’t need to worry about that part, at least.” 

“I only meant that we aren’t brothers,” Shu says with a sigh. He cranes around
to look at Rei, then purses his lips. He snatches a handkerchief from his
pocket, marching it over to shove it in Rei’s face. “So inelegant, honestly.
He’d mock you relentlessly if he could see this behavior, wouldn’t he?”

“I’d deserve it,” Rei miserably agrees, blowing his nose loudly. “And...and
you’re right, of course, about the obvious. I’m certain that’s why our parents
have decided I’m no longer allowed at home, they must have seen something
again. Do you know how many apartment complexes will rent to a jobless teenage
idol even if he has a substantial amount of savings, by the way? None.” 

“I know absolutely nothing about real estate,” Shu confesses, “but I’m
certain...” He grimaces, sitting down next to Rei. For a moment, it feels like
it used to, when they were a first and second year who had finally found
equals. “I’m certain I’ll be dealing with something similar soon. Don’t tell
Mika, but my parents have started making some noise about an omiai.”

“Oh, how unpleasant,” Rei huffs, scrubbing a hand over his red-rimmed eyes as
he scoots to the side of the piano bench, making more room for Shu. “They tried
that for about two seconds with me when I came back from England. I told them I
was too busy working on my career, but I think they decided my refusal was an
excuse to completely cut me out eventually.” He sighs, tilting his head back to
stare at the ceiling. “Time to sell out and write more terrible songs about sex
and women, I guess. Any agent that looks at me twice tells me to give up on
classical and jazz entirely, because I’m marketable,you know, so long as I wear
tight leather and call girls sluts. It’s time I listen if I actually want to
keep my promise to Ritsu. What’s your plan of attack, hm?” 

Shu’s smile is thin, a little tired. “To be the best. As I am, of course. For
whatever reason, the agent I’ve been talking to thinks television is a better
course of action than live concerts. I was skeptical, but he pitched the idea
of some music videos I found rather intriguing...Mika’s always enjoyed being
videotaped rather than performing live, as well. Not that that has anything to
do with my decision, of course.”

“You’re going to want to kill your agents, whoever they end up being,” Rei says
with a wet laugh, blowing his nose again. “You’re so controlling. But ah, that
does sound like it would suit the two of you more, yes. Give it a shot, make
some money, get an apartment, and take all of your cute dolls and go. I just
need to make enough money to get out of the country--then Ritsu and I will be
much happier, I think.” 

“Change your name,” Shu advises, patting Rei on the shoulder, about as much
human contact as he can stand. “Or his. Or say you have the same last name
because you’re married, not...the other thing.”

“The married thing would fly overseas,” Rei sadly agrees. “Maybe when I’m a
famous drug addicted rock and roll star, no one will care that the only person
more homosexual than I am is you.”
 
“I’ll never understand how often you bring up my homosexuality as some kind of
a negative rather than proof that I’m intelligent enough to avoid the burden of
children. Nasty, messy things. Not me, as a child, of course. I played with
dolls, like a sensible aristocrat.”
 
“Ahh, agree to disagree, kids are cute. Ritsu,” Rei immediately begins, “was an
adorable child—“
 
Shu places a finger across Rei’s lips with a sigh. “This is why your family
kicked you out. What are you going to tell him about why you never go home?
He’s going to think you hate him.”
 
Instantaneously, Rei bursts into tears again. “He already t-thinks I hate him,”
he sobs, burying his face down into the borrowed (snotty) handkerchief. “H-h-he
won’t even talk to me at s-school, so I can’t explain anything.“
 
“I shouldn’t have mentioned it,” Shu mutters, standing up to check on the food.
“Keep that handkerchief, by the way. I certainly don’t want--”
 
He frowns suddenly, looking around. “Am I going madder than usual? Or has
Kagehira been gone for far too long to grab the new doll eyes?”
 
Rei blows his nose loudly, looking up with bleary, wet eyes. “He’s been g-gone
since we started talking. Ahhh, he’s probably h-hiding, my presence is so
draining, I know, I know, Ritsuuu, I’m sooorry…” Slowly, he twists back around,
slumping down against the piano with a huff.
 
“Well, you’re useless,” Shu says with a sigh. Then he unties the apron, folding
it with a couple brisk snaps of his hands, turning to walk up the long stairs
to the attic. “Mika? Honestly, if I thought it would take you this long to find
some silly eyes, I would have--”
 
He stops dead when he opens the door.
 
“My great-aunt’s armoire,” he whispers, staring in horror at the disarray in
front of him, mouth gone dry, head pounding with an impending faint. “That’s--
you idiot, that’s my great-grandmother’s chest of drawers, that’s a completely
different--I never said you could look at that!”
 
With a startled squeak, Mika bolts back from the piles of letters, the piles of
manuscript, all of which he knew wasn’t meant for his eyes, but he’d been
helplessly drawn in anyway. “Sorry!” he manages to say, quickly sorting,
bundling, hands shaking as he tries to put away all of the letters with utmost
care, first and foremost. His face flames, though it was hot and flushed even
before Shu had come into the room, because—because—
 
Because those letters were for me, all of them, every last one of them, and I…
 
“Sorry,” he says again, in a nervous whisper this time, unable to look up and
see what kind of face Shu is making. “I—I didn’t mean to. I jus’, I saw one,
and I couldn’t stop readin’, I…”
 
Shu shuts the door behind himself, trying to gather his composure before he
loses it completely. Maybe--maybe Mika hadn’t understood them. No, he’s not
stupid, that’s not right. Maybe they can just--pretend this didn’t happen? Mika
isn’t good at that kind of thing, he’s the worst at keeping secrets. God,
they’re going to have to talk about this, and he’s not ready. “I had--I had
planned for you to find those after I’m dead,” he says, startled to hear his
voice in a shaking whisper.
 
“…T-that would’ve been a long time, though…” Mika whispers, exhaling a shaky
breath as he shoves the drawer closed again with a resounding creak. He hangs
his head, still not getting up from the floor. “I’m sorry for readin’ ‘em, Shu,
b-but…they were so pretty, and y’said so many nice things t’me, I…I could
hardly tell…I didn’ think they were about me…”
 
Sweat runs down Shu’s hairline, trickling down his temple as his heart thuds
more loudly still. He can feel how red his face is, so much it makes him feel
ill. Slowly, carefully, he kneels down next to Mika, swallowing hard. “Nothing
in there is meant to be read. It’s all--it’s all failures, why would you ever
want to look at something like that?”
 
Old scripts, abandoned novels, essays, and worst of all...love letters.
 
Most of them are to Mika, most from his darkest times locked up here last
winter, hating himself and hating the world, hating Tenshouin enough to put pen
to paper, but not all. The older ones are to someone else, and Shu had seen
more than a few of them in Mika’s hands, along with dozens of the newer ones.
The idea of those old feelings making a reappearance, of being so exposed, so
stripped bare...
 
The blood drains from his head, and he swoons suddenly sideways, overwhelmed
past his fragile endurance.
 
“Ah! Oshi-san, Osh…S-shu, ahhh, c’mon, don’t pass out, I can’t carry y’down the
stairs…” Mika frets helplessly, biting his lip as he gently shakes Shu’s
shoulders even knowing it’s not going to do any good. He nervously gives Shu
another shake, then sighs, rocking back onto his heels before he clambers to
his feet. “You jus’ wait right there,” he mumbles, stepping around him and
trotting back downstairs. “U-uh…Sakuma-sempai?”
 
Rei, still sniffling at the piano, lifts his head a sparse centimeter. “Y-yes?”
 
God, we’re all useless here,Mika wearily thinks, and he heaves another sigh.
“Oshi-san…uh, Shu, he, um, he passed out. Can you carry him to th’ couch? I
hate t’ask, but I’m not strong enough and I don’t wanna drop him, but he can’t
stay on the floor, he’ll get sick…”
 
“Of course, of course,” Rei sniffles, climbing to his feet and wiping his eyes.
“What a good child, how did he acquire you?”
 
Sakuma Rei, it turns out, is very strong, and carries Shu down the stairs and
deposits him onto the couch without even a single flutter of effort. “And off
to bed with me—I leave him and that terrible casserole in your capable hands.”
 
Mika sighs for the third time, turns off the oven, and puts a cold washcloth on
Shu’s forehead as he waits for him to wake up. “Sorry,” he mutters to no one in
particular, hoping maybe Shu will hear him and wake up. “I’ll try t’forget it
if y’want, but…” I don’twantto.
 
“I’m quite sure,” Shu says with the largest sigh of his life, “that we’ve
spoken about wringing out the cloth before you put it on my face.” The water is
running down his face and into his ears, dripping onto his hair and the couch.
Weakly, he raises a hand with what feels like intense effort, trying to brush
some of the drops away.
 
“Sorry, sorry, I’m sorry,” Mika frets, and of all the things, that is what
makes tears spring up into his eyes. It takes some serious effort not to just
go facedown onto the floor and apologize that way, and he swallows hard, his
fingers digging into his knees where he kneels next to the couch. “You’re
right, I’m a failure, I don’t deserve those kinda letters or anythin’ like it,
I’m sorry for readin’ ‘em, I’ll jus’ forget it and we don’t have t’talk about
it—“ I know some of them weren’t to me, anyway, and that’s fine, that’s fine.
 
“I never--God, be quiet, I never said you didn’t deserve them. It makes me ill
when you grovel.” This whole thing is giving Shu one of the worst headaches of
his life. His hand reaches out, intending to grasp for Mademoiselle, landing on
Mika’s head and petting that instead to soothe his nerves. Just as good,
honestly. “How much did you read?”
 
Mika goes still, trying not to sniffle, and managing, just barely. He blinks
hard to stop himself from crying, and he slumps underneath Shu’s hand. “S-
some,” he manages at first, then admits in the same breath, “Most of ‘em.”
 
“The letters? Or the scripts and stories?” Maybe if he’s insanely lucky, Mika’s
just stumbled on his old fantasies, hand-scribbled since he was old enough to
understand he could convey ideas more permanently, more carefully than through
his clumsy and inaccurate verbal words.
 
“…The letters.” That’s the response Mika knows Shu doesn’t want to hear, and he
flinches in advance. “I…I found one, and then I couldn’t stop…” he quietly
says, fidgeting, his fingers curling harder into his knees. “S-some of the
manuscripts, too, but when I realized you wrote letters about m-me, I couldn’t
believe it…”
 
“To you. They were--” Shu pulls his hand back from Mika’s hair when he starts
fidgeting, finally pulling the sopping washcloth away from his face. “I just
express myself better in the written word. It’s only--God, it can’t be a
surprise that I’m in love with you after all this nonsense.” The words sound
tawdry and lame on his tongue. He’s always known they would. That’s why he’d
written them down instead, written about how lovely he is, how entranced Shu
feels, how his chest tightens whenever Mika shows up early with his face
shining, how he’d cried all night the day he’d tried to work up the courage to
ask him out and chickened out at the last moment, about a thousand moments
between them that Mika had probably thought were insignificant at best.
 
Mika shakes his head slowly, blinking hard, harder to keep tears from pricking
into his eyes again. “I thought y’liked me,” he begins with a ragged little
laugh, “but…but not enough t-…to write stuff like that. I mean, everythin’
y’ever write is beautiful, Shu, but for it t’be about…to me, I…” Hurriedly, he
lifts a long sleeve up to his eyes, scrubbing it over them. “S-sorry, I’m not
upset, I’m happy, this is a good kinda cryin’, I swear! N-no one’s ever said
stuff like that about me before, o-or thought those kinda things, pretty sure…”
 
“Well, I should hope not. I’m not equipped to go to battle with other suitors.
So it’s best if I’m the only one who thinks these sorts of things about you,
isn’t it?” God, what else had been in those letters? Embarrassments, he’s sure.
Shu drops the washcloth onto Mika’s head, folding his arms over his chest as he
sits up. “Though I am quite aware you have other...interests, or have in the
past. You needn’t feel like you have to hide that. Mon Dieu, it’s not as if I
do.”
 
“E-eh?” Mika’s head snaps up, the washcloth plopping down onto the floor, and
he picks it up, grateful to have something to twist and toy with. “I haven’t
ever liked someone like I do you, promise. I mean, Naru-chan and I did stuff,
but that’s different…” Definitely different than how you were with Nazuna.
 
Tension coils in Shu’s shoulders. He knows what’s bothering Mika, of course.
Most of the letters had been to Mika, but not all. And most of the letters to
Nito had been from before he and Mika had gotten together...but not all. Did
you look at the dates? he wants to ask, but that sounds embarrassingly
pleading, as if he’s begging for forgiveness. “You were never supposed to see
them,” he whispers, as if that makes it better.
 
“I…I know.” Mika swallows, glancing aside. He tries, desperately, to not say
the words lingering on his tongue, but they dangle on the edge of a cliff in
his mind, impossible to ignore. “D-do you still…do you still want Nazuna-nii
like that?” he blurts out, and immediately regrets it. “Because it’s okay if
you do—“ It’s not, it’s not at all!“I jus’—I wanna know, just in case, b-
because there’s no way I can be like him, I…” I’ve tried.
 
Shu moves suddenly, grabbing Mika by the shoulder with hands as gentle as he
can make them when he’s in such distress, eyes searching. “I don’t--I don’t
want you because you’re like him. You’re nothing like him. I never--I never
designed your outfits to be like his, did I? He’s--he’s not like that, not like
you, I don’t--it’s very unfair of you to expect me to explain myself out loud,
you know!”
 
“Sorry!” Mika squeaks, practically tying the washcloth into a knot in his
panic. “Sorry, I—n-no, none of my outfits are like his, I know, b-but…” You
didn’t answer me, you didn’t tell me you don’t want him anymore.He exhales a
long, measured breath, and briefly shuts his eyes to try and school himself
into some sense of calm. “I saw all the music and stuff you wrote for him,
too,” he quietly adds.
 
“Yes, well, I miss writing for a soprano,” Shu snaps. “And I did since long
before he left me--left us, left Valkyrie, that is,” he amends quickly. “Look,
Mika. Nito....ah, this is harder than I thought, how troublesome. You’re always
causing me trouble, aren’t you?”
 
“I can sing those kinda parts, y’know, I’ve been practicin’,” Mika sulkily
mutters, slumping back a little. “Sorry for causin’ y’trouble, Oshi-san. Jus’
forget about it, we don’t have t’talk about it anymore.”
 
Shu’s eyes tighten around the edges in stress and pain. “Sit down. If you try
to leave a conversation with me, you’ll give me hives, and I’m not rubbing
lotion on them, Kagehira!”
 
Mika’s lips purse. “You’re the one refusin’ to answer stuff, and not listenin’
to me…” He trails off, huffing out another sigh, and shrugs as he glances
firmly aside. “’s fine. I already said it was.”
 
“You don’t even know what you’re talking about. It’s--it’s not the same, with
him and you. It’s not. He’s...” Words, words, he has the best words, always
has, he’s always been able to do anything with his words. “Nito was my muse.
You’re...my partner.”
 
Mika’s side-eyed stare is a little suspicious, a little skeptical. Putting Shu
on the spot about this kind of thing (Nazuna Nito, in any way, shape, or form)
doesn’t usually end well, so he rarely bothers, but he gave Shu at least twenty
chances to back out of it and let the topic drop, and Shu is the one that keeps
pushing it. “‘Kay,” he says neutrally, waiting for Shu to fill that statement
out, if he’s going to at all.
 
Part of Shu wants to take the obvious out he’s being given, to back out of the
conversation he’d never wanted to have before he says something he can’t
retract. He’s been doing that for two years, though, and it still isn’t any
easier. He owes Mika this much, at least. Carefully, he brushes a strand of
hair behind his ear, tugging his sleeves back into place. “A muse is--something
else. I didn’t want to let him onstage. I wanted--things, so many, God.”
 
He slumps forward, head in his hands, the weight of his feelings pressing him
down as thick as gravity. It tries to choke him, but he fights it, just for a
little longer. “I didn’t want anyone to see him, to touch him. I didn’t
even...I didn’t even want to look at him or touch him myself, do you
understand? Even I--I’m not perfect, I could have ruined him, I was always
terrified of that. You...you were there. You saw my fear. It paralyzed me.”
 
“…Well, yeah, but…” Mika trails off, fidgeting where he sits, and he frowns
down at the floor. “But even after he left,” he finally says, “y’still
jus’…wouldn’t let it go. Oshi-san, he was never even nice t’you. You deserve
more than that, I think. A lot more—’s why I could never understand why you’d
fixate on someone that wouldn’t even laugh at your jokes, y’know? Made me wish
I’d look good as a blond, more than once,” he admits, half on a self-
depreciating laugh. “Then maybe y’would’ve…left him alone, sooner.”
 
“You’re not understanding it.” Shu drags his hands down his face, frustrated at
himself more than anything, the inability to explain himself something that
haunts every nightmare. “I wasn’t--I wasn’t part of it. I didn’t...God, how to
say it?”
 
He finally turns away, easier to talk when he’s not facing those mismatched
eyes. “I never had a single fantasy about Nito that involved me. I loved him
like you love--like you love a painting, or a statue, or...or a beloved doll.
Not something that’s supposed to look back at you and laugh and touch and want,
you understand? Is it...I wonder if it’s even possible for you to understand
something like that. I had hoped that if anyone could...”
 
“I get it. That doesn’t mean I have t’like it.”
 
Mika lurches forward, scooting forward on his knees, and planting his hands
onto the side of the couch as he stares up at Shu. “It’s dumb,” he finally,
bluntly says after a moment’s consideration. I gave you a million chances to
walk away from this conversation, I swear I did. “The way you are about Nazuna-
nii is dumb. Even if it’s like the way you say it is, it hurts my feelings when
you talk about the stuff he was that I ain’t, even if it’s bein’ good at bein’
a doll or something I don’t wanna be. I really love you, like a person, like
you’re my boyfriend, s-so—“ He swallows, quickly losing his nerve. He can only
be so harsh for so long! “So s-stop talkin’ about him. I know you’re tryin’,
but try harder. Write music for me to sing solo, I can do it.” Mika huffs,
glancing aside again. “I’m a better singer than he was.”
 
Shu’s jaw hangs open. He has to do a double-take to make sure that this is Mika
saying these things, taking him to task for things that he hadn’t even
considered were flaws. But...
 
I’ve been hurting him.
 
That doesn’t sit well. Shu is careful, so careful not to cause Mika any pain,
thrilled that he’s intelligent or discerning enough not to take umbrage at the
words and actions that are all he can muster...but this is no good. He moves,
scooting slightly closer, cheeks pink. “You...you’re right. Now hurry up and
forgive me already. I’ll stop talking about him and forgive you for looking at
my private letters and stories.”
 
Tension slips from Mika’s shoulders in waves, and he slumps down with a long,
long relieved exhale. Some part of him was terrified Shu would yell at him,
even try to argue with him about…about anything, really! “Mm, yeah, ‘course. ’s
not like I was ever mad at you, I…yeah, ’s all good.” Mika scoots himself
closer as well, looking hopefully up at Shu, rather like a cat that wants to
jump on the table after food but isn’t sure if it’ll be pushed away or not.
“Your letters were real nice, y’know…”
 
Shu’s hand migrates to Mika’s hair again, petting it as if to reassure himself
that Mika isn’t going anywhere. Somehow, they’ve made it through what he was
certain would be the end for them, and with Mika discovering his letters to
boot. “They were? Of course they were. I wrote them, after all, and I’m the
best writer at school.”
 
“You even have the prettiest handwritin’ ever,” Mika sighs, his eyes lidding
when he’s petted, and he slowly slinks his way up onto the couch, crawling his
way into Shu’s lap. “Y’said so many nice things about me…ah…I know I’m not
supposed t’be talkin’ ‘bout it, but…”
 
“Don’t be stupid, you can talk about it if you’re praising me,” Shu mutters,
hands looping around Mika’s waist. He leans in, resting his forehead against
Mika’s chest, seeking the comfort he isn’t sure he deserves. “Which one was
your favorite?”
 
“Th…the one where you…uggh, you’re right, this is embarrassin’,” Mika mumbles,
his own face hot as he buries it down into the top of Shu’s head. There, now he
doesn’t have to look at him when he says it. “Th’ one where you talked about
all the stuffed animals we named together, like they were our kids or
somethin’. A-and how you wanted to rescue more from the crane machines for me
so you could make ‘em clothes…nnn, Shuuu, you’re so cute, I wanna die,” Mika
groans, immediately nestling closer and wrapping both arms around him to
squeeze Shu tightly.
 
“I just don’t want them to be naked,” Shu mumbles, glad that Mika has him
rather prisoner in a way that his face isn’t visible. “This entire thing is
just too much, you know. I’m going to blame Rei for it. If he weren’t here I
would have been governing you more closely.”
 
“Mm, mm, blame him, ’s’all his fault,” Mika enthusiastically agrees, even as he
squeezes and squishes Shu like he’s one of his plushies. “But he did carry you
downstairs, so that’s nice of him. Hey, hey, d’you really think it’s cute when
I act like your wife and clean the house for you~?”
 
“You had him carry me downstairs? Ugh, I hate having him see me like that. It
was bad enough in my first year. At least he was an upperclassman then instead
of just a bum.” He raises his voice a bit for that, even though Rei is likely
sleeping already, and resigns himself to being squished. At least he’s not
wearing anything that can be messed up or wrinkled. “And yes. I think it’s
adorable when you clean my house and act like my wife. I’m going to make you a
cute apron.”
 
“I was gonna try, but I didn’t wanna drop you and hurt you,” Mika laments,
rubbing his face against Shu’s hair aggressively. “Nnnn, I’ll totally wear an
apron for you, Oshi-san! I wish I really could be your wife,” he wistfully
adds. “Like, not in the ‘I wanna be a girl’ sense, but jus’…that would be nice,
y’know? I wanna be like the cute girls in Harajuku that wear pretty dresses and
get to walk around with their hot boyfriends all day and get their picture
taken…”
 
“You hate crowds,” Shu reminds him. “Ugh, I should just make this some sort of
Valkyrie gimmick, with you in dresses. I do think everyone at least got it last
time, at least as well as any of the vulgar masses can understand my
brilliance. If it’s a recurring theme, would you be happy?”
 
“Yeeeeesssss.” Mika shoves his weight against Shu all the more, practically
pinning him down to the couch as he snuggles up against him. “I looooove
wearing the dresses you make, you make me feel so beautiful, Oshi-san! Ahhh, I
know I hate crowds, but when I’m dressed like that, it feels like it isn’t me,
y’know? So it’s different!”
 
“Good Lord, Kagehira, release me immediately!” Shu thrashes, not entirely
interested in being released, flailing nonetheless. There’s a strange, off-beat
thudding in his chest that shows up whenever Mika says something that he’d
thought only made sense to him, that confusing feeling that he isn’t as alone
in this world as he’d expected. “How on earth am I supposed to show you the new
costumes if you’re squashing me completely?”
 
“Sorry, Oshi-san, but I gotta,” Mika says with all seriousness, nuzzling his
face into Shu’s hair with a happy sigh. “You gotta let me for a few more
seconds, mmhm. Hey, Oshi-san,” he suddenly adds out of the blue, “how long is
Sakuma-sempai stayin’, y’think? ‘Cuz, ah, I dunno ‘bout you, but I think not
havin’ a lot of privacy is kind of a pain…”
 
“You say this,” Shu says with a sigh, hands snaking around to grasp at Mika’s
thighs and squeeze, “as if I don’t have a perfectly serviceable bed ready to
fold down in the sewing room upstairs.”
 
“…But y’never let me do anything in the sewing room,” Mika huffily points out,
stuffing his face directly into Shu’s neck now.
 
Shu pulls back, taking Mika’s face firmly in his hands. “A bed in the sewing
room for Rei. If you think I’m going to allow him to interfere in my intimate
affairs, you clearly don’t understand how badly I want you right now.”
 
Mika’s mouth opens, then shuts, and he nods, very firmly. “Got it. You get to
kick him out of our bed, though; he’s still kinda scary.”
 
“You’re going to have to get off my lap, then.”
 
“But I’m comfortable,” Mika whines, surging forward to nuzzle at Shu’s neck
again, and maybe kiss it, just a little.
 
It’s got to be a result of the tension, Shu reasons wildly, that just the one
kiss to his neck makes his breath stutter and shiver, makes him clutch urgently
at Mika’s back, legs shifting to get his thighs apart. “That...that’s not
comfort,” he gasps, hands kneading at Mika’s soft thighs.
 
“It could be,” Mika hums, wriggling and shifting closer now in a way that has
nothing to do with squeezing Shu like a plushie. He sucks on the side of Shu’s
neck, mouthing kisses up to his earlobe, and gently sets his teeth to it,
tugging. “I mean…I guess we could do it here, too, then go to the bedroom and
do it again…”
 
“I...well.” Any and all protests die unborn at the graze of Mika’s teeth,
turning him into some kind of writhing puddle. “I suppose after doing it over
the kitchen counter I can’t really talk about how embarrassing it is to do in
the living room....nnh, don’t tell me you got ideas from those letters!” There
had been some fantasies in there, tasteful of course, but hinting at things a
bit more...exotic.
 
“Maaaybe,” Mika breathes, adjusting to squirm up between Shu’s thighs. “If
you’re talkin’ about th’ ones where someone might overhear us, or see us…I
mean, Sakuma-sempai is sleepin’ not too far away.” It’s kind of scary to think
about, but not in a bad way, because…well, what is Rei gonna do? Shu seems to
trust him well enough, and Rei seems to have his own problems, anyway.
 
A whimper worms its way out of Shu’s mouth, and he pants, letting his head fall
back, rutting up against the fabric of Mika’s school trousers, his own
stretched taut over his hardening cock. Honestly, the idea of Rei overhearing
him does more to enflame him than to scare him, and his hands delve under
Mika’s waistband, overly-excited to the point of clumsiness. “You want to have
me on the couch? Tell me how. Tell me what you want, I want...” I want to hear
it in that soft drawl you get when you’re turned on.
 
Mika nods rapidly, his own breath coming faster just at the way Shu grabs at
him. “J…jus’ like this,” he rasps, reaching down to help undo the fastenings of
his trousers. “T-th’ way you look right now…” He lurches forward, his mouth hot
against the arc of Shu’s throat, sucking and kissing. His hips press hard and
eager against Shu’s, the aching line of his cock grinding down against Shu’s.
“You look like you’re gonna die if I don’t shove it in you.”
 
“Th-then don’t kill me!”
 
Shu’s voice breaks, high and breathy and anxious, clutching at every bit of
skin he can reach, hands sliding up to Mika’s back, down to the supple flesh of
his ass, breath coming in short urgent pants with ever grind of Mika against
him. “I don’t--I don’t care how you do it, just get it done!”
 
Mika’s hands are grabby and desperate, clawing open the fastenings of Shu’s
trousers. It takes some finagling to get them off and out of the way without
pulling too far back, and they’re still dangling off of one of Shu’s legs when
Mika gets his own cock free, spits on his hand to get it as slick as he can,
and lets it rub up against Shu’s hole.
 
Just that little bit of friction nearly does him in. Mika sucks in a sharp,
high breath, shutting his eyes and squeezing around the base of his cock to
reel himself in when it drips against Shu’s hole. “S-sorry—if it’s too much,
Shu, but I gotta—“ The hands grabbing his ass, the long legs trembling and
draped around him, all of that is more than enough encouragement, and Mika
sinks in with a grateful moan, his mouth fastening to Shu’s neck, sucking,
biting down when his hips shove in deep and grind in as deep as he can in one
long, achy-tight-hot thrust.
 
The sudden stretch of Mika sliding into him is enough to make Shu gasp, biting
his bottom lip to keep quiet, face contorted in sudden pleasure and shock. This
is becoming a routine for them, with Mika’s hormones fluctuating wildly now
that he’s back on medication, making him suddenly horny at the strangest times.
Shu’s been the recipient of this startling copulation over the kitchen counter,
against the living room wall, in the bathroom during showers, in the sewing
room, and nearly in the soundproof practice rooms at school before they’d been
interrupted. Each time it’s a little easier, a little less startling, a little
nicer when Mika pushes into him slick and hard and hot with that perfect thick
cock, until coarse hairs grind against his ass.
 
He throws his head back, licking his lips, clutching at Mika’s shoulders. “Just
like that,” he breathes, trying not to let his eyes just roll back in his head
at the delicious pressure, the way Mika feels enormous inside of him, trembling
and hot and demanding. “You--so good at--giving me what I need--”
 
Mika scoots his knees up closer, planting his hands against the armrest of the
couch, his nails biting into the fabric as he rocks forward with panting, eager
breaths. “’s good?” he breathlessly asks, eyes lidded and face flushed. The way
Shu feels around him, so tight around his cock, squeezing down when he thrusts
in just right, makes his toes curl. “Shu, Shuuu…” he groans, sucking on another
spot on Shu’s neck, not even paying attention to the little bruises he leaves
behind. He can feel the way Shu’s cock throbs as it’s trapped between them, and
Mika shifts, shoving up into him harder. “Y’feel so good, I’m gonna…”
 
The arm of the couch is digging into Shu’s back, worn fabric leaving an
intended pattern in his skin. Mika’s hands dig bruises into his hips, teeth
flowering more on his neck. A drop of sweat runs down his hairline, lost in his
hair with dozens of others. Tiny sensations meld and swirl and build into
something larger, something that suffuses his senses, making him buck and
writhe, helplessly overwhelmed with every sweet drag of skin against his most
sensitive skin. It’s not wet enough, but Mika is dripping into him, cock so
hard it leaks slick fluid that eases the friction if not the tight cramping
heat of fullness inside him. Every drive into his body makes his breath race,
his legs struggle to spread wider still to accommodate the width of Mika’s
narrow hips. “Harder,” he whispers, hands dropping down to grab at Mika’s
thighs, pulling him in closer. “You know--you know how to make me come, don’t
you?”

Mika nods, desperate to please, and he digs his hands harder into the couch,
feeling his nails bending as he uses that as leverage. “Lemme make you feel
good,” Mika rasps, shoving in harder, faster, one hand pawing down to grab at
Shu’s hip, to shove between them just to graze his fingers over his cock.
“Wanna be good for you--nnn, Shu--”

He’s supposed to be making Shu feel good, but there’s no helping the byproduct
of that. Another few, hard thrusts and Mika comes with a ragged gasp against
Shu’s neck, biting down, sucking on the skin as he grinds through every throb
of pleasure, spilling deep inside with every lingering thrust afterwards
easier, slicker.  “Ahh...god, y’feel so perfect,” he groans, his breath hot and
wet against Shu’s shoulder. “Shuuu...”

Pleasure is all well and good, but getting to see Mika’s face wracked with it,
getting to feel the way Mika loses all control and fucks desperately into
him,that’swhat sends Shu over the edge, body spasming in sudden spiking
pleasure that bursts behind his eyes, another wave wracking him with every drag
of the blunt head of Mika’s cock over the best places inside him. He ruts up
against Mika’s hand for the last desperate thrusts, spilling hot and wet over
those sewing-calloused fingers. “J-just like that,” he breathes, riding out the
last few tremors, hands dragging down Mika’s sweat-damp back. “So good...you’re
so good to me.”

Mika’s knees and arms wobble, and he sinks down bonelessly, huffing out a hot
breath against Shu’s shoulder as he flops down against him, uncaring of the
mess that sticks them together. “So good,” he mumbles, butting his face against
Shu’s sweaty hair. “Think he heard us? We were really noisy, heh...”

Shu grabs a throw pillow, yanking it over his face. “Don’t say things like
that! You want me to faint again?” The words are somewhat belied by the way he
twitches at the words, an involuntary spasm making him rut up against Mika one
more time.

“M-maybe,” Mika cheerfully, breathlessly says, squirming up close again with a
pleased little sigh. “But in a good way, y’know? Nnnn, Shuuuu...” 

“Quiet, fool,” Shu says softly, running his fingers through Mika’s hair. “He
doesn’t need to hear us to know how much I adore you.”

Mika flushes hot, happily nestling himself against Shu and pressing a warm kiss
to his neck. “But I want everyone t’know,” he murmurs. “You’re the best, Oshi-
san.” 

“Yes, yes, you tell everyone that, don’t you?” Shu’s fingers slip up, brushing
under Mika’s chin, pulling him in for a soft kiss. The best part about sex like
this, as far as he’s concerned, is that neither of them have to put their
mouths on anything unsavory. 

“Mm, mm.” Mika’s eyes lid, and he paws a hand slowly through Shu’s hair. “I
gotta.” He hides a grin against Shu’s mouth. “‘specially now that I know how
cool y’think I am, too, Oshi-saaan~”

“If you keep mentioning the content of those awful letters i’m going to burn
them.”

“Nooooo, I love them!” 

“Then hold your tongue!” 

And because his actions are softer the harder his words, Shu brushes a
butterfly kiss to Mika’s eyelids. “It would serve him right to walk in on us,
the damned freeloader.”

It was sexy when they were actually doing it, but now, sticking to one another
and   kissing all sweet-like, it’s kind of embarrassing to think about. Mika
spares a wary glance to the stairs, and drags a blanket off the top of the
couch over them. Better. “You’re sure he’s not gonna move in?” he lowly
whispers. “I mean, he’s not as scary as I thought, and I feel bad if his
parents kicked him out, but I reeeally like just livin’ with you...”

“No worries. He really just wants to live in the Light Music Club room,” Shu
says bluntly. “They’re just cleaning it tonight. And he’ll move out much more
quickly if he’s not allowed to stay in my lovely bed. That’s a one-night-only
deal.”

“Ahhh, got it, got it. Yeah, I miss your bed already,” Mika wistfully says,
carefully  leaning off the couch to grab the still (very) wet washcloth as he
pulls out with a grimace, and gently wipes down Shu’s stomach and thighs. “But
he’s real good at piano. All the Oddballs, you’re all so good,‘s kinda
intimidatin’.” 

“Yes, I know. That’s the point. The more intimidating I am, the fewer people
think they have the right to talk to me. Left--not there, it’s ticklish!”

Mika pinches the inside of Shu’s thigh just to see how much he’ll shriek.
“Ain’t that kinda mean? I mean, Hibiki-sempai’s real good and scary, too, but
he’s still been...ah, never mind.” 

Shu muffles a scream into the throw pillow, then rolls violently to the side,
winding up falling to the floor in a pile of flailing limbs. “This--this is
your fault! Take responsibility!”

Mika hums innocently, rolling off the couch to plop down right atop of Shu.
“‘Kay! Here I go, Oshi-saaaan!”

“I should’ve braved Kanata’s musty old lighthouse,” comes Rei’s groan from
upstairs. “Shu, is this your true character these days? I’m divorcing you as a
friend. Reason: loud.” 

Shu squeaks, grabbing at the closest bit of fabric, which turns out to be a
horrible old throw his great-aunt had crocheted, and wraps it around his waist.
The idea of being caught in medias res was a lot sexier in theory. In reality,
it’s just rather embarrassing to have someone see his limp penis outside of an
onsen. “Does that mean you don’t want to stay in my bed anymore?” he demands,
cheeks flushed deep red, chin held defiantly high. 

Rei, gaunt and pale, slinks around the top bannister, bundled up similarly in
some horrific blanket that definitely looks like it belonged to Shu’s
grandmother. “I’m too hungry to sleep, anyway,” he laments. “Have your bed
back, I don’t want to trouble you...oh, don’t look so embarrassed, I’m happy
you’re having fun, love.”

Mika, blushing and hastily yanking his own pants back up, tries to discretely
shove Shu’s trousers back in his direction. 

Shu grabs his trousers, struggling to climb into them when he’s still wrapped
up and finally succeeding, tossing the blanket onto the couch. “It’s almost
time for you to prowl the night, isn’t it?” His voice softens slightly when he
asks, “Are you planning on finding him and talking to him, once the moon is
out?”

“He’s been completely avoiding me,” Rei sighs, drifting his way back downstairs
and idly giving Mika’s head a pat, like he would to a nearby household cat. “So
there’s not much hope there. I suppose that’s fair, he thinks I’ve left him all
over again. You smell so good, Shu, it’s quite unfair.” 

“Yes, all of you have told me that for years.” Shu moves back to the kitchen,
tying his apron on over his opened shirt. Can’t be helped, for the moment. “If
you just explain it, he’ll understand. Mika, you could talk to him, couldn’t
you? You’re both in 2B.”

Mika hesitates, flopping back at the table to pick up his previously neglected
sewing. “I mean...I can try, but he hasn’t been in class th’ past couple of
days.” 

“Of course he hasn’t.” Rei languidly drags himself into the kitchen after Shu,
not quite able to resist the pull of a human that smells so good when he’s this
hungry. He sidles up behind him, hooking his chin over Shu’s shoulder, inhaling
slow and deep. “You’re a horrific tease. Ah, look at all these cute little
marks, you two have fun, don’t you?” 

“Yes, he’s incredible in bed,” Shu says without a hint of embarrassment. It’s
easier when he’s bragging about Mika, for whatever reason. “I made rice, since
you’re unforgivably rude about my casserole.”

“Oshi-san,” Mika helplessly protests, shoving his face down into his still very
deformed rabbit.

“Your casserole looks like something from the depths of Kanata’s dreams,” Rei
says airily, idly thumbing down the collar of Shu’s shirt. “Instead, you could
give me just a little taste to tide me over...”

Shu raises an eyebrow, looking askance at Rei. “The others will kill you if
they find out you’re doing this, you know. I’ve seen Kanata throw you through a
plate glass window. Mika, don’t hug that, it has a goiter.”

The fact Shu is so unfazed by Rei’s behavior makes Mika disinclined to comment
on it, even if he’s vaguely concerned. He examines his rabbit instead,
frowning. “What’s a goiter?”

“Kanata takes bites out of his human all the time,” Rei moodily snaps, taking a
huffy step back all the same. “I haven’t fed in over six months, honestly,they
should all understand.” 

Shu turns around, folding his arms over his chest, feeling the comparatively
rough fabric of the apron rub over his nipples. Weird. “I’m not your human,
though. If you’re that hungry, would you even be able to stop if I gave you a
taste?”

“Do you think so little of me?” Fair enough, though, Rei grumpily thinks,
staring with a sort of annoying fixation at Shu’s already bitten-up neck. Stop
it, he tells himself firmly, though he can’t, not really. “You know, I
remember, back in the day, when you were a sweet little first year that didn’t
know if you liked kissing boys or just looking at boys, and I came along and--”

“Shoved your tongue down my throat, yes, yes, I quite remember.” Shu plops a
rather soggy bowl of rice in front of Rei, along with a pair of chopsticks.
“Though I don’t believe I was ever sweet. Mika, tell him I’m not sweet.”

“You’re real sweet, Shu,” Mike pipes up disobediently, rather interested in
this conversation now. “Heeeeh, I didn’t know y’had a real kiss before I came
along, y’know...”

Rei politely ignores the rice and settles for storytelling instead. “Oh, yes,
he was a delight even as a cute little first year. Vicious, but that just made
him cuter. What was it you said after I kissed you? ‘I have changed my mind,
touching is better than looking’--something like that?” 

“I didn’t set a place for Mademoiselle,” Shu says very loudly, trying to drown
out something so humiliating. “How rude of you two not to remind me! Mika,
where are her tiny chopsticks? That’s much more interesting than any stupid
story--that you aren’t even telling correctly, by the way. You forgot the part
where you were an absolute predator and tried to kiss me while I was sleeping,
but Wataru and Kanata stopped you.”

“A predator?” Rei looks aghast, complete with a hand pressed to his chest. “How
dare. You forget how you reached out for me in your sleep and pulled meover,
and how was I suppose to resist when you were being so honest in your dream-
like state...” 

Mika coughs politely, getting up to find Mademoiselle’s chopsticks in their
special kitchen drawer. 

“How could I forget pulling you close in my sleep?” Shu demands. “I was asleep!
And they only stopped you because you’re always threatening to bite me,
anyway.” They always made it sound so dramatic, as if there were nothing worse
or more painful than a little bite on the neck. Personally, Shu has never been
particularly averse to the idea, though the others have always intervened...

“Tiny chopstick delivery!”

“Oh, those are darling,” Rei sighs. “And of course I’m always threatening to
bite you, I’m certain you would be delicious.” Some humans just seem like they
would be, but Shu in particular makes him uncomfortably hungry. Thinking about
it makes it worse, unfortunately, and Rei stares up at the ceiling briefly to
curb himself. It doesn’t work, so he stands up. “Well, there’s no helping it.
I’ll be out for a bit--is the key still under that strange little frog statue
out front like it used to be? I’ll be quiet when I return.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’d never be so obvious as to hide a
key under Kaeruko-chan.” Shu huffs, then shoves Rei’s rice in front of Mika,
and starts preparing a little bowl for Mademoiselle in one of his great-uncle’s
sake dishes. Not that he thinks she’s going to eat it, of course, but certainly
it’s the thought that counts, much like an offering to a god. “You can either
take the couch or the pull-down in the sewing room. Or I suppose you can pull a
futon out into the living room like we did in the old days...”

“I’ll figure it out, don’t trouble yourself,” Rei says with a flutter of a
hand, folding up his borrowed blanket over the couch as he heads towards the
door. “I’ll repay you for letting me stay later~ we’ll have a composing
session, just like old times!” 

The door clicks shut behind him, and Mika swallows a mouthful of soggy rice
without hesitation. “Surprised there weren’t any old letters ‘bout him, Oshi-
san,” he can’t help but tease. Rei, for all his weirdness, is actually pretty
unthreatening, even when he’s draped over Shu and talking about sucking his
blood. He’s just so weird, that’s it.

Shu huffs, shoveling rice into his own mouth. “Don’t be absurd. Rei? The
subject of letters?” He waves a hand. “Too silly. You’ve met him. Certainly
he’s sexy, but he’s always been his own creature. He’ll never rely on anyone
for anything.” He pauses, frowning, then adds, “An amazing kisser, though.”

“Uh huh. So that’s where y’learned, I always wondered about Oshi-san’s secret
affairs...” 

“Mm, yes, I suppose I am so good at it that you’d need to wonder.” Shu pushes
the rice around in his bowl, then says hesitantly, “I suppose most couples talk
about this sort of thing, don’t they? Who was your first kiss, Mika?”

Mika pokes at his rice before scooping up another mouthful. “Naru-chan,” he
answers forthrightly. “On the hill behind the school while he was skippin’
practice. I pretended it was you, though. Told him that, too. He didn’t mind.” 

“That’s...quite nice, aesthetically,” Shu admits. “The two of you are very
complementary to each other, looks-wise. Be careful, though. From what I hear,
he’s willing to ‘practice’ with just about any boy who asks.”

“Yeah, he really wants a boyfriend,” Mika agrees, plucking up each piece of
rice left in his bowl individually to make sure he gets every one. “Or at
least, he likes the idea of one. We only did that kinda stuff a couple of
times, then I got brave enough to, well...y’know.” 

“Brave enough? Pah! I’m the one that kissed you first, don’t forget.” At least
he has that in his back pocket, no matter if Mika has to make his appointments
over the phone.

“I gave you a blowjob first,” Mika immediately counters with. “And kept kissin’
you.” 

Shu shakes his head. “None of that would have happened if I hadn’t kissed you
first. And pulled you onto my lap and touched you, so I had the first two
firsts.”

“I’m th’ one that was brave enough to go see what you were sewin’ upstairs,
though! And I was plannin’ on kissin’ y’pretty soon after, I swear.” Mika hides
a smile as he bends over his rice bowl to pick up the last few pieces. “But
okay, Oshi-san. You win.” 

Shu hides his own smile behind a hand, finishing up his own rice. At least
plain rice isn’t too offensive to his stomach. “For admitting that, I’ll tell
you a secret even my close friends don’t know. Rei thinks he was my first kiss.
He wasn’t.”

“Ehhh, really? Who was it, then, whooo?” 

“Kiryuu, of course.” Shu smiles, fondly remembering. “Threw me into a sexual
confusion. I was, oh, eleven? Twelve? And became suddenly unsure.”

“Oooh.” Mika’s head tilts. “See, I always knew I liked other guys. Huh, I
thought for sure you were the same as me, Oshi-san...”

Shu looks at him, startled. “Eh? Oh, non, I’ve known I was a homosexual since I
was three. But one kiss from Kurou Kiryuu’s clumsy man-mouth made me question
whether I ever wanted to be with anyone at all.”

Mika chokes on a laugh. “I guess he does kinda look like he’d suck at kissin’,”
he admits. “But I think that about all super, uh, burly-guy-types. Well, heh,
guess I better thank Sakuma-sempai for turnin’ y’back around, or I’d’ve had a
lot harder time.” 

“Don’t flatter him. He enjoys it too much.” Shu picks up both bowls from the
table, then plants a kiss on the top of Mika’s head. “Besides, it’s no credit
to him. You’ve read the letters. I never had a chance, did I?”

Mika latches onto Shu’s arm briefly, nuzzling up against it in a sudden fit of
affection. It’s hard not to, when Shu is being so nice to him. “Mm, guess not,”
he happily sighs. “Sorry, not sorry.”


***** Chapter 2 *****
Rei can handle exactly three outside stressors at any given time, and no more. 

He imagines this number was set early on in life (mother, father, Ritsu). It’s
why when his parents (obnoxious, terrible, kicking him out), Ritsu (refusing to
talk to him, probably hating him), and a lack of contracts (not edgy enough,
too edgy, too much jazz, give it up) preoccupy his mind, that’s it, no more.

That’s why he can’t handle Hakaze Kaoru heaving longing sighs in the corner of
Undead’s practice rooms every hour of every day, and finally, his patience
snaps like the strings of his bow.

“Kaoru-kun,” he hums, yanking the black-out curtains on the windows closed
firmly. He has waited graciously until Adonis is gone, Koga is gone, and
they’re alone. “Shall we have a discussion about whoever you’re pining over so
unnecessarily? I’ll start: I’m gay. Now, your turn.” 

Kaoru stares, open-mouthed, flopping dumbly like a fish out of water. Of all
the things he’d expected to come out of Rei’s mouth, that wasn’t even on the
list. It shorts out his long and convoluted protests and reassurances about how
that isn’t what he was sighing about, about how he’d never look at a guy like
that, that doesn’t excite him, seriously, don’t worry, Dad, guys don’t do it
for me at all, it’s women all day every day--

But Sakuma Rei is confidence, is charisma, is marketability and sex itself. If
Sakuma Rei is able to admit something like that...

It bypasses all of his defenses, and leaves him stammering, “It’s--it’s not
unnecessary, he doesn’t like me back, so...” The words aren’t as awful to say
as he’d feared. If anything, each one feels heavy, and he feels lighter after
saying every word.

“Nonsense, you’re a good boy,” Rei briskly says, drawing himself away from the
window with great effort and to the electric tea kettle tucked away in a
corner. It’s out of place next to the antique teacups on loan from Itsuki Shu,
but well, no matter how he insists on a wood-burning stove in Undead’s
permanently rented practice room to heat his tea water, the student council
just won’t approve it. “Do you want me to guess who it is? Or will you just
tell me so I can offer advice? Here, sit, this tea is very rich.”

Kaoru sits, letting himself be bossed around because it’s easier than
leaving...and dammit, it would be kind of nice to have some advice. “It’s not
that I don’t like girls, you know?” he’s quick to insist. “I just...I dunno if
I can hurt another girl’s feelings right now, and there’s this guy I think is
real...I like him, I guess...are you--are you dating someone, Sakuma-san?”

“Yes.” Rei plops a teacup directly in front of Kaoru and pours his tea first
before settling down across from him with a content sigh, pleased to be off of
his feet. “I know you like women,” he says, patting the back of one of Kaoru’s
hands. “You do know it’s perfectly feasible to enjoy both, yes? Your English is
delightful, no doubt you’ve heard the term ‘bisexual’ before.” 

“Yeah, I’m sure my dad’ll think that’s a great and useful term to pick up,”
Kaoru says glumly, slumping down to rest his cheek on one hand. “Who’re you
dating?”

Rei smiles at him, and promptly tosses three sugar cubes into his own tea. “Who
do you have a crush on?” 

Kaoru narrows his eyes. “Answer for an answer. Second year.”

“Ooh, you’re so difficult. Mm, fine, then. Second year.” 

“This is stupid,” Kaoru says with a sigh, but the lure of mutually assured
destruction pulls him. Plus, what if he’s crushing on someone who’s already
dating Rei? That would be the worst. “2A.”

“2B,” Rei says cheerfully. “There, look, we’re not competitors.”

Kaoru breathes out a sigh of relief. “That would be so lame. Uhh...” Not unit,
that’s too obvious. Club, too. He narrows his eyes. His own is pretty obvious,
at least to him, but there are a few options for Rei. “Not someone in UNDEAD.” 

“Same, same.” Rei waves away some of the steam from his teacup before taking a
sip. Well, it’s not blood, and he’s still starving, but at least it’s sweet
enough to be cloying and distracting. “All right, that’s enough of this. Long
or short hair?” 

“Long. You?” 

Kaoru answers without thinking, then slumps down, banging his head on the desk.
“Dammit. Yeah, it’s Kanzaki. And everyone in 2B has short hair, so...who’s
yours?”

“Oh, he’s lovely,” Rei sighs, ignoring the question in favor of compliments and
drinking more tea. “I suppose I have heard him calling you a disgrace, but
that’s probably because you’re always tardy. Ahah, I can relate.” 

“Uh...he absolutely thinks I’m a disgrace. Sakuma-san, you gotta answer. You
know who mine is.” The slightest itchings of nervousness nip at Kaoru,
reminding him that Rei now has some serious dirt on him, and he’s got nothing
in return.

“He was performing at the band ensemble and not a part of our unit, do the
math.” There, that’s still vague enough to not send Kaoru flying out the door,
creeped out and disgusted by him. “You have to take steps to repair your
relationship, which in your case, should at least be simple. Show up on time
and like sea turtles--or so I’ve heard, from Kanata-kun.” 

“But if I show up early, he makes me clean the saltwater tanks in the spots he
can’t reach without a ladder,” Kaoru complains. “And the eels in there
aremean.” 

“So show up right on time, not early,” Rei hums. “You’re a good boy. Be nice,
prove your worth, and ask him on a date.” 

“But what if he’s already...I mean, I’m not that worried about what if he’s
straight,” Kaoru admits. “He makes enough comments...yeah. But like, he’s got
long hair and he’s pretty and he’s at an all-boys’ school. I’m not sure my
pride can handle being turned down by a guy, you know?”

“Hmm.” Rei tilts his head, considering, then snaps his fingers. “Right, I know.
I’ll talk to Keito-kun for you. I won’t let him know it’s you that’s
interested, of course, but if anyone knows what Kanzaki-kun does in his spare
time, it’s him. He’ll know if he’s taken, or otherwise, ah, uninterested.” 

Kaoru breathes out a huge exhale, slumping forward. “You’re the best, Sakuma-
san. I hope that...ah, whoever it is? I hope you guys are doing good.” Sakuma
Rei and a dude, how weird. And Isara Mao, no less, which is somehow even
weirder, but...well, it makes sense, given that the Sakumas are childhood
friends with Isara, he supposes. “I keep forgetting you and Hasumi-kun are
friends. It’s weird somehow, you know?”

“It’s terrible,” Rei says with a brilliant smile. “But good, for this singular
occasion! And of course, of course, my love and I are doing splendidly. Drink
your tea, that’s a good boy. The stipulation to all of this is that you have to
keep me updated on your progress. I’m very invested in your happiness, you
know. You can’t sit around in here moping all day.” 

Kaoru laughs, brushing his hair back from his face. “Yeah, yeah, okay. Help me
hook up and I’ll see what I can provide when it comes to gossip. It’s a deal!”

Which is how Rei ends up outside of the student council room, sighing,
evaluating, and eventually determining that, well, the worst it could be is
that little pink-haired creature, when he knows Eichi is so seldom around. 

It doesn’t smell like medicine--a good first sign--and it doesn’t smell like
Ritsu, which means it isn’t Mao. There’s no shrieking, so it isn’t Tori, and so
Rei bites the bullet and cracks open the door, peering inside and heaving a
sigh of relief. “Oh, good. Keito-kun, dear friend, I’d love a moment of your
time.” 

“This means a headache for me, doesn’t it?” 

Hasumi Keito pushes his glasses up onto his nose, shuffling a stack of papers
on his desk. Sakuma Rei is usually an unwelcome sight, but in the grand scheme
of things tonight... “Just don’t tell me you want to schedule a Live within the
next 72 hours. That is genuinely the only favor I’m going to ask.”

“Oh, no. No, no, no,” Rei laughs, flapping a hand as he shuts the door behind
himself. “Not anything like that. No, I’m afraid this is a personal matter--or
maybe you’ll be relieved by that? It’s about Kanzaki-kun.” 

Keito breathes a sigh of relief, and stops glaring and hovering protectively
around his dwindling to-do stack. “That is a relief. Unless you’re here to tell
me that he’s finally murdered someone, which would not be a relief unless it’s
Itsuki Shu.”

Rei plops himself down into one of the enormous, squishy chairs that the
student council is privy to--classist,this entire disgusting school--and slinks
down into it. “Actually, I was wondering--do you know if he’s seeing anyone?” 

There’s no mistaking the question, not when it’s so blatant. Keito reaches for
papers out of habit, straightening a stack before adding it to a larger stack,
avoiding Rei’s burning crimson eyes. “Not...as such. He isn’t.”

“He isn’t?” Rei’s eyebrows raise as he flops sideways, plopping his chin down
into one hand. “Your hesitation says that he’s still...mm, involved. I ask
because I have a friend that’s enamored with him, you see. They don’t want to
intrude if there’s a relationship to be dealt with, but otherwise...” 

Ooh. This is a problem. Keito worries his teeth into his bottom lip for a few
long moments, then says bluntly, “I’m sleeping with him. But it’s not a
relationship. Who the hell wants to ask that nutcase out?”

Rei snorts out a laugh. “I was hoping I was off the mark, but as usual, I’m
great,” he says, stifling another giggle with his hand. “You’re so predictable,
Keito-kun! It’s none of your business who wants to steal him away, but fair
warning, they’re good at it.”

Keito’s eyes narrow. The idea is a troubling one. But to admit that...that
would be admitting to a lot more than his turbulent emotions currently allow.
With a great deal of effort, he shrugs, waving a hand. “Tell them to have at.
No one’s feelings will be hurt. Good luck, though--he’s not any less weird bent
over a desk.”

“All riiiight, I’ve done the nice, friendly thing and warned you, then,” Rei
hums, hauling himself back up to his feet. “Take care, Keito-kun. My apologies
if your pretty boy gets stolen away.” 

“Yes, fine, whatever.” Hopefully the nagging sense of impending doom will go
away soon. Belatedly, Keito realizes he hasn’t called Eichi in a few hours.
Well, he’s probably dead, then. “And good luck to whoever winds up being
saddled with that lunatic. Tell them he likes to be called a loyal valet.”

Rei shoots him a quizzical stare, then shrugs it off with a wave of his hand.
“Noted, noted. Have a nice night doing everything you hate!”

“I always do!”

~

For the second time in as many days, Hakaze Kaoru is in a state. This time,
it’s less pining over an obviously unrequited crush, and more stymied about how
to proceed. Rei’s news about Kanzaki being available had been welcome, of
course, but ultimately more confusing every time he’d thought about
doingsomething with that information.

So he’d found himself back in the Light Music Club Room, scratching mournfully
at Rei’s coffin. “Sakuma-san...help...I need advice again...It’s Hakaze Kaoru,
by the way...”

Slowly, and very deliberately, the lid to the coffin slides off, and Rei heaves
himself up into a sitting position, stifling a long yawn behind his hand. “I
know who you are, I can smell you a mile away, Kaoru-kun,” he sleepily says,
draping himself over the side of his coffin to peer at Kaoru beneath hooded
eyes. “What is it this time, I wonder...ah...did he say ‘yes’? Date locations
can be tricky if you’re trying to be secretive, might I recommend a moonlit
walk through the garden...” 

“He didn’t say anything. Except, ‘Move, Disgrace, you think you’re going to win
the President’s good favor by showing up exactly on time?’ Ehhh, I should have
just gone for Kanata-kun, he’s way nicer.”

“He’s taken, sadly,” Rei automatically offers up, not wanting Kaoru to go there
and end up physically damaged. “I’m sorry he’s being difficult,” he says,
reaching out a hand to pet Kaoru’s hair. “Good boy, good boy. Just kiss him,
that will make it easier.”

“Will it?” Kaoru’s eyes are a little red-rimmed, and he butts against Rei’s
hand. “Honestly, I’m kiiiinda worried that I’ll go in for a kiss and freak out
about him being a guy. I’ve got...kind of a thing about it. You probably
figured that out.”

“Mm, trust this old man. Once you kiss him, he’ll understand your true
feelings,” Rei reassuringly says, gently rubbing his fingers through Kaoru’s
hair. “Ah, I know. Practice on me.”

“It’s not gonna excite me, because you’re a guy,” Kaoru says automatically,
then drags a hand down his face. “Sorry. Sorry, it’s a habit.”

Rei merely stifles another yawn, entirely unfazed. “As if I don’t know that by
now. Here, let’s give this a try, lean in and--no, stop trying to pull away,
you’re never going to get used to it.”

Kaoru starts to lean in, then pulls back, frowning. “You’ve got a boyfriend,
Sakuma-san. You can’t run around kissing other guys, you dog.”

“It’s to help you,” Rei insists, grabbing for Kaoru’s tie this time to keep him
from escaping. “Who else are you going to practice with?” 

Kaoru hesitates...but Rei’s lips do look soft, and if he can trust anyone to
not make it weird, it’s definitely Rei. He nods, then adds, “If you get in
trouble, I’mnot responsible.” 

Then, before he can weasel out again, he leans in, kissing Rei like he would a
girl, light and soft at first with gentle flicks of his tongue.

Cute, cute, Kaoru is so cute, Rei thinks happily. Of course he’s a good boy, of
course he kisses like this. But, well, if he’s going to kiss boys more often,
he might as well be prepared...

Without letting Kaoru pull back, Rei sinks his fingers into his hair, dragging
him forward over the edge of his coffin as he kisses him hard, tongue shoving
into his mouth and dragging against his, over the roof of his mouth for a long,
thorough taste before he draws back, sucking on Kaoru’s tongue, teeth catching
on his lower lip for a potent final nip. “Mmm, there, see?” he purrs. “That’s
how you kiss another man.”

Kaoru’s eyes roll back for a moment, and his hand comes up to shakily brush
over his lower lip. “Uh,” he murmurs, pupils dilated, “that...nice. Yeah. I
see. Real nice.” 

He’d been with a girl that kissed as aggressively as Rei, once, but there’d
been no skillful artistry there to cut the enthusiasm, and he’d yelped and
pulled away. With Rei, Kaoru sort of just wants to melt into each lash of that
tongue and suck of those lips. Damn, I didn’t take that chance to see if the
fangs are real, he thinks belatedly, and leans in again. “One more.”

Rei’s eyes flash, amused, and he leans back in, lips already parted when they
press against Kaoru’s again. If it were anyone else, he’d probably pick on
them, just a little--Kaoru-kun, I thought this didn’t excite you, he’d say, but
that’s just mean, and he’s trying to help, after all.

Cupping Kaoru’s face this time, Rei tugs him into the press of his lips,
nibbling on his lower lip before his tongue goes in for another taste, coaxing
Kaoru’s back into his own mouth to toy with it, to suck on it, to let his teeth
graze against it carefully (he’d made Ritsu bleed once being too enthusiastic,
which had been troublesome on a few levels). “You’ve gotta kiss someone,” he
lowly murmurs, “like you want to fuck them, Kaoru-kun.” 

“Uh...huh...”

Kaoru swallows, trying to reconcile the current state of his hormones with what
he’s believed about himself for the past eighteen years. “If you kiss girls
like that,” he says breathily, “they slap you. I mean, sometimes they like it,
but they always slap you.”

At that, Rei just laughs, and drags Kaoru half-way over the side of his coffin
to kiss him again. “I wouldn’t know,” he airily says, reflexively reaching down
to cup between Kaoru’s legs before he thinks to stop himself--oops. Well. Good,
he’s still got it, Kaoru is very hard. “I’ve never kissed a girl.”

“That’s--so sad,” Kaoru groans, then gives up, pinning Rei down to the floor of
his coffin. He’s charged up now, and before he can back out, mutters, “Let me
give you a blowjob. I wanna practice.” That’s his M.O.--offer pleasure first,
so he never has to feel guilty about getting it in return.

Rei blinks up at him, startled (and pleased, so help him). “Oh. Ah. By all
means.” He sprawls back with a smile. “Shall I give you direction, or would you
prefer for me to keep my mouth shut?” I’d feel guiltier if I didn’t know Ritsu
did the same thing all the damned time.
 
Kaoru thinks about that for a moment, then shrugs. Obviously, whatever Rei and
Isara have going on, it doesn’t mean Rei feels bad about doing something like
this with another guy. He knows damned well that he’s been The Other Guy
before, the guy to make someone jealous, the guy to fool around with, the guy
to pass time until the real guy stops being a jackass...and to be honest, he
hasn’t minded too much, and doesn’t now. “Whatever you’d usually do. Actually,
go ahead and talk, I wanna get used to hearing a deeper voice.”
 
He slides his hand down to Rei’s waistband, then stops, looking up with a
little frown. “It’s not gonna be weird, right? Between us, later? I really like
UNDEAD, man.”
 
“God, no,” Rei groans, reaching down to tug his pants—he cheats, he absolutely
does, because do they make pajamas that match the plaid of the school uniform?
yes, and he wears those instead, all the time—down over his hips. “I promise
you, I won’t make it weird. Honestly, we already nearly kiss on stage, don’t
we? And how many times have I grabbed your ass for our fans, hmm?”
 
Kaoru starts to respond, then stops, frowning in concentration as his hand
traces the hot, hard length starting to bulge at him through Rei’s boxers.
“Huh. I always kinda thought you tucked a sock into your pants onstage to get
that effect.”
 
Rei sucks in a breath, half-laughing, half-struggling to be cool, Rei! when
Kaoru’s hand drags down over his cock through fabric. It has been awhile since
England, since anyone other than Ritsu. “It looks good in leather pants,
right?” he breathes. “I mean, I’m nothing if not proportional. Mmm, Kaoru-kuun,
you have lovely hands, you know?”
 
“Yeah, I know.” He does, because he works on his hands, keeping them carefully
manicured and the nails trimmed. His sister would kill him otherwise.
 
Kaoru stares down as he pulls Rei’s boxers past his cock, trying not to laugh
out of nerves. Girls have done that to him before, and while he doesn’t mind
that much, it never feels exactly good. “I can do this,” he says more to
himself than to Rei. “I know what feels good. I’m--this is fine.”
 
“It’s just practice, it’s fine.” Rei props himself up onto an elbow, reaching
out with his other hand to pet Kaoru’s hair. “You can laugh at me all you want,
I’m used to it,” he cheerfully says, running his fingers down the back of
Kaoru’s neck. “And delightfully, I’m sure Kanzaki-kun’s isn’t as big as mine,
so you’re starting out on hard-level. It only gets easier after this.”
 
“I’ve been swimming with him enough times. It’s--I mean, his is normal. Yours
is big.” That sounds complimentary, instead of saying ‘yours is way too big, is
this a vampire thing? I hope your boyfriend has a jaw of steel.’
 
He can think of a lot more fun and funny things to say, but it would all
basically involve him putting this off, and he’s not a coward, so instead he
reaches down and grabs the base of Rei’s cock, and licks a stripe up the thick
head.
 
Rei stifles a curse, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment to make sure he’s
not too into this—otherwise, he’s going to fall into habits, which involve
grabbing Kaoru by the hair and shoving his head down when his cock eagerly
twitches (the way Ritsu likes it, the way Ritsu always begs him to). “G…good,”
he breathes, his fingers tightening into Kaoru’s hair for just a moment before
he relaxes, petting instead. “You don’t…ahh..have to try and fit it all in your
mouth, you know. You know how girls cheat, that’s fine.”
 
Kaoru smirks up at him, and squeezes and twists with his hand, letting the tip
rest against his lips. “Yeah, Sakuma-san. I know how girls do this just fine.”
 
It’s actually...kind of fun. When he doesn’t think about the fact that he’s got
a dick in his mouth, Kaoru likes the way he can sort of control everything Rei
does, how much pleasure he feels. It’s sort of like a game, and the taste isn’t
nearly as bad as he’d worried beforehand. It’s kind of inoffensive, a little
salty in a way he doesn’t want to think about, and he lowers down, sealing his
mouth over the head.
 
Rei doesn’t like to think of himself as someone who has ever been
especially…hard upwhen it comes to sex. This, however, makes him feel like he’s
gone about five years without, which is a little disturbing. Because it’s a
different mouth on my dick, a different tongue, for the first time in about a
year, and that’s sort of exhilarating, he dimly reasons, his breath escaping as
a ragged hiccup when Kaoru’s lips wrap around him properly, and he can’t stop
his hips from arching up, sliding his cock further against his tongue. “Kaoru-
kuuun,” he groans, slumping back, tossing an arm over his face, his other
hand’s fingers tangled up into Kaoru’s hair. “You’re such a good boy…nnn, it’s
not so bad, is it? You know what men like, after all…”
 
He does. Weirdly enough, that seems to help a lot. Kaoru had expected it to be
much worse, or for his experience on the other side of it to not help much, but
it actually does, he thinks. He knows when to suck hard, when to tease with the
tip of his tongue, when that gasp and grunt means he should back off and stroke
gently for a minute, grinning up through swollen, shiny lips. “Not so bad,” he
assures Rei. Damn, but this would have been scary with anyone else. With Rei,
it’s just...fine. “You can pull my hair a little, okay?”
 
Then he dives back down, hand squeezing and stroking, his other hand coming up
to play over one pale thigh. For a second he almost brings that hand up to
slide in, but no, he’s not eating a girl out, he doesn’t need to go for the
fingers, that’s not part of this.
 
The sharp breath that Rei sucks in makes his fingers tighten, his toes curl,
and his hold on Kaoru’s hair twist and pull when he can’t help but drag his
head further down, as far as he can with Kaoru’s hand in the way. “There you
go, that’s a good boy,” he gasps, his own eyes fluttering shut when his
abdominal muscles tense and hollow in a desperate attempt to hold still, to not
just thrust up into the wet heat of Kaoru’s mouth. Coming like this, so
fast—ahh, it just can’t be helped. “I know it’s a lot—j-just—ahh, swallow,
breathe through your nose, I know you wanna take care of me…”
 
Ooh, that part isn’t...as good.
 
Kaoru tries not to choke, and somehow manages, gulping at thick liquid that
brings tears to his eyes. Somehow, he manages to get it all down, and gives Rei
a watery smile, followed by a peace sign. “Pretty good, right? For the first
time?”
 
Rei grabs him, abruptly hauling Kaoru up into a kiss that immediately is all
teeth and tongue. Tasting himself in Kaoru’s mouth makes him exhale a low,
rumbling groan, and the way he grabs at Kaoru’s ass and stuffs his hand down
past his waistband probably isn’t all that, ah, friendly-helpful-teachy.
Whoops.
 
Kaoru leans back against one of the coffin walls, sighing happily as Rei grabs
at his cock. “Sorry it’s not a crazy monster dong, but you’ll take good care of
me, right? Nnh, Sakuma-san...”
 
“Somehow, the more you talk about my dick being huge, the more insecure you
make me feel,” Rei says with a wry, breathless laugh as he crawls up between
Kaoru’s legs, kissing the inside of one of his knees. Like this, he can
suddenly hear the pounding of Kaoru’s pulse, thudding through the inside of his
thigh, and it’s maddeningly distracting. Starving, he’s starving, it would be
so easy to bite and drink and Kaoru would taste so…
 
He refocuses by flicking open Kaoru’s fly, unzipping it, dragging his pants
down and getting his cock out as quickly as he can without it being weird
instead of eager. Tucking his hair behind one ear, Rei wastes no time getting
his mouth on the head of Kaoru’s cock, lapping at the bead of precome already
there, and immediately wrapping his lips around it, swallowing it down with
eager drags of his tongue.
 
Kaoru yelps, startled at the way Rei handles him so skillfully, flipping him
into positions and holding him there perfectly, a mouth suddenly sucking him
in. Rei...there’s no easy way to put it. Rei is just better at this than any
girl he’s ever been with, and Kaoru sighs weakly, letting his thighs fall
apart. “That’s way too good, Sakuma-san,” he breathes, hands coming up to
tangle in Rei’s thick wavy hair, tugging him down.
 
Damn, but Rei looks good with a dick in his mouth.
 
The thought is an intrusive one, but Kaoru groans at it, thrusting up a little,
whispering, “Sorry, just--sorry--”
 
If he didn’t have a dick in his mouth, Rei would laugh, tease Kaoru a little
for being this easy, but, mm, this is better. He lets his eyes flutter a little
on principle, splaying his fingers over Kaoru’s thighs as he sinks down further
when Kaoru thrusts up, pulls on his hair, the breathy noise of approval he
makes when Kaoru’s cock bumps at the back of his throat a muffled one. Go on,
go on, you’ve been cute, and I’m probably not going to suck your blood if I’m
sucking your cock.
 
“S-Sakuma-san...”
 
Kaoru is sure he should be embarrassed about how fast his hips start jerking
up, how easily he starts grinding into Rei’s mouth, marveling about how well he
takes it, but it just feels so damn good that he can’t even be annoyed with
himself. Instead he fucks up, taking advantage of the fact that most girls (and
guys, he’s sure) don’t like to go down for long. Usually he pulls away, but...
 
Well, Rei can see how he likes it.
 
That’s the last thought he has before he loses it, spilling over Rei’s lips,
coating his tongue with a long groan. “You’re so...Ahhh, Sakuma-san, you’re way
too good at that...Isara-kun is a lucky man...”
 
Swallowing without a moment’s hesitation, Rei slowly, carefully pulls back,
taking pains not to let his fangs touch anywhere delicate when he’s still
somewhat…overstimulated. “Who, now?” he breathlessly, unthinkingly laughs,
thumbing a streak of white off of his chin and licking it clean as he
straightens up. Well, it’s not blood, but if he thinks about it, he is slurping
down Kaoru’s children. “Goodness, that would be a match made in hell, wouldn’t
it…”
 
Kaoru tilts his head, staring at Rei for a moment, then shrugs. That’s a riddle
that’s too hard to figure out right now, when everything is boneless and
delicious. “I’m pissed that you’re so good at that. Ah...are you, like,
supernaturally good at it, do you think? Or is that just a thing that guys are
great at? I’d hate for my first blow from a guy to be the best one forever...”
 
“I’ve given a lot of blowjobs,” Rei reassures him, patting Kaoru’s knee as he
rocks back onto his knees, fingercombing his hair back into a semblance of
order. “As much as I’d like to say ‘it’s because I’m a vampire’, it’s
absolutely because I have sucked a lot of cock. Ah, that’s ruining your image
of me, for sure. Men are better at it, though, so the future is bright, Kaoru-
kun.”
 
Kaoru tucks his cock back into his pants with a little sigh. “Think Kanzaki’s
given a lot of head? I feel like the answer is probably yeah, to be honest...”
 
“I have reason to believe that he’s quite…experienced,” Rei diplomatically
replies. “Lucky you!”
 
“Oh, it doesn’t bother me,” Kaoru says quickly. “I don’t wanna be anyone’s
first. It sucks. I’m totally pro-experience.”
 
“Then you’ve picked the right boy to chase after,” Rei says cheerfully,
clapping a hand against Kaoru’s shoulder. “Trust me.”
 
“...Ah.” Kaoru laughs, shaking out the long ends of his hair. “Fair enough.
Well, he’s not exactly getting a blushing virgin in me, either. You know?”
 
“A perfect match.” If he moves his hand a little to the left, he could feel he
way Kaoru’s pulse thuds underneath his skin as loud and clear as he can hear
it. Rei catches himself staring, fixating on that artery just below the
surface, and he shakes himself out of it with a faked yawn, glancing away with
a flutter of his hand. “If there’s nothing else you need, Kaoru-kun, this is
usually a delightful time to nap, so…”
 
“Aw, you don’t cuddle afterwards?” Kaoru teases, but hops out of the coffin
anyway, stretching with a yawn. “Okay, okay, time to man up and ask him out.
Wish me luck!”
 
“Good luck~” Rei sing-songs, already reaching for the lid of his coffin to drag
it into place. If he locks himself in, that’s smart, that’s responsible. “And
good night!”

It is not to be.

Not five minutes after Rei closes up his coffin again, there’s an urgent
pounding. “Sakuma-sempai! Sakuma-sempai, if you’re in there, open up like a
man!”

Rei groans loudly, rolling over in his coffin and stuffing his face down into
the red velvet that refuses to bring him any real solace. “No,” he says, loud
and clear. “I’m not a man, I’m a vampire. I don’t have to abide by your human
standards.”

Isara Mao throws his whole weight behind the coffin lid, with about zero
effectiveness. “Ritsu’s missing, asshole! If you know where he is--are you
hiding him in there?”

Rei twitches. Mao is insufferable at times, and this is one of those times--but
it can’t be ignored if Ritsu is the cause. Missing? Impossible, he’s not
missing, he’s just...being Ritsu. 

But no one else understands it when he says things like that, so there’s no
helping it. 

With little effort, the coffin lid slides open, and Rei sits up, staring at Mao
with bleary eyes. He needs to sleep, and he needs to eat, but none of these
annoying humans will let him. “What do you mean he’s missing?” he wearily
sighs, raking a hand back through his hair. 

Mao’s eyes are red-rimmed and a little frantic, and he rakes a hand back
through his pinned hair, dislodging it a little. “I mean the teachers haven’t
seen him for a week, and neither have I. I went to his house--your house--
a bunch of times, but he’s not there. I even snuck out of school at lunch, and
he’s not sleeping there in the daytime, either. I checked...I mean, I think I
got all his hiding places?” 

He scrubs at his cheek with the back of one hand, smearing a tear track. “That
little brother of yours is really troublesome, Sakuma-sempai!”

This is, admittedly, more effort than Ritsu ever does put into hiding and
avoiding him...but it’s not unheard of. Rei heaves a sigh, pulling out a box of
tissues from his coffin and offering it to Mao. “There, there, calm down. I
know he’s a troublesome little thing, but we’ll find him. He’s probably upset
with me, and wanting me to go and look for him this time.” 

“...He did say you were avoiding him,” Mao admits, grabbing a tissue and wiping
his eyes before making a basket in the garbage can in the corner. “I mean, he
seemed kinda mad, but that was a week ago. Why’d you stop talking to him,
anyway?”

“I didn’t stop talking to him, he started avoiding me,” Rei exasperatedly
explains. “Because he was angry when I didn’t come home. Honestly, how can I
explain anything to him if he won’t talk to me.” 

“He was like, ‘My dumb bug of a brother hasn’t been harrassing me at all. It’s
great.’ But he didn’t look all that happy...” Mao scratches the back of his
neck. He’d been so upset when Ritsu hadn’t come to school again, but now that
Rei seems so calm, it sort of does seem like something Ritsu just...does. “The
teachers are saying if he misses any more school he’s gonna be held back again.
I don’t wanna be his sempai, it would be tooweird.”

“Ah, no, no, that won’t do.” Rei hesitates, glancing around as if expecting
anyone else to come in at any moment, and once it’s confirmed that no one else
is going to ruin his day, he flicks open a compartment in his coffin and pulls
out his iPhone. 

 To: Ritsu
 Subject: Where are you?
 I know you’re angry with me, but you can’t miss any more school. Let me come
pick you up wherever you are, okay?

“There,” he mutters, sighing as he tucks his phone into his sweater pocket.
“Pretend you didn’t see that, that’s a good boy. He’ll come around, I’m sure.
He’s just upset with me, as per usual; unfortunately, this time it was truly
out of my control.” 

Mao slumps against the side of the coffin. “I haven’t been sleeping,” he
admits. “Sometimes it seems like I’m the only one that worries about him. Not
to insult your parents or anything...” But yeah, they’re basically useless and
always have been, in his opinion.

“No, they’re terrible.” Another moment of hesitation, and Rei decides to just
be done with it. If Ritsu ends up refusing to talk to him ever again, at least
Mao can explain it to him, in his own way. “They kicked me out. Disowned me,
officially, you see, so that’s why I haven’t been home. I’m sure they didn’t
explain that to Ritsu, and I wanted to, but when he won’t talk to me, it’s
difficult.” Rei leans over the side of his coffin, patting the top of Mao’s
head. “Take a nap, and let me worry about him.” Because if you say you’re the
only one that does ever again, I’ll probably gut you. 

Mao exhales deeply. “Kicked you out? That...” Hoo boy, he is not equipped to
offer comfort and reassurance to someone like Sakuma Rei, he’s pretty sure.

But if he doesn’t, will anyone? 

Ritsu has mentioned often enough that his brother acts tough, but doesn’t
really have many close friends. Mao has seen that in action over the years, and
hesitantly asks, “Are you...gonna be okay? Do you...I mean, I can always drag
out a futon if you need a place to crash...”

Ahhh, and this is why he tells no one anything. “Oh, no, no no no, that’s
entirely unnecessary,” Rei says with a laugh, fluttering a hand dismissively.
“I’m perfectly fine, don’t worry about me. We’re worrying about Ritsu, right?
O-to, here we go.” 

He hauls himself out of the coffin with a groan of effort, stretching his arms
behind his back. “If he doesn’t reply in a few hours, I’ll get the police
involved. And I’ll threaten him with that, which he’ll hate, so he’ll turn up.”

Mao sighs in relief. “Okay, cool. Thanks, Sakuma-sempai. I was hoping I could
count on you.” For finding Ritsu, if nothing else.

An hour later, that mysterious iPhone rings.

Rei, dozing on the Light Music Club’s piano, starts awake. He fumbles with his
phone, and doesn’t bother checking the room to see if anyone else is around--
no, this is too necessary to answer, unfortunately. “Ritsu,” he breathes, head
in hand. “Where are you?” 

There’s a shaky breath from the other end, then another, and a third that
catches on a sob. Faint traffic noises filter through the speaker, followed by
a choked, “Onii...chan?”

Uh oh.Rei starts mentally calculating who to kill and how to do it, even as
panic starts to grip his chest. “Turn the GPS on in your phone,” he firmly says
instead, already on his feet and searching for his blazer for  just long enough
to get frustrated before he gives up entirely. “I’ll find you. Are you safe? No
one is there and bothering you, right?” 

“N...o...”

A long, shuddering breath. Then, metal groans, as if something heavy is being
pushed into place, followed by a resounding clang. “Onii-chan is...strong
enough to get in,” Ritsu says, voice crackling, as if to reassure himself.
“P...please...come fast...”

“I’m coming, Onii-chan is coming.” There’s probably going to be half a dozen
rumors around the school about what made Sakuma Rei sprint out of the Light
Music Club room and across campus, but he has more things to worry about right
now.

It turns out the Find Your iPhone feature is obnoxious and buggy, and drops him
off after a long train ride all the way to a warehouse, of all things. Rei
stares up at the building, then down at his phone again, and frowns. How did
Ritsu even find his way here, of all places?

The door is locked with a heavy padlock and chain, and Rei puts his phone away
to wrench one of the chainlinks open and make his way inside. The door is heavy
and stuck, too, and it takes some shoving to get the old, weighted metal door
open. It’s a dusty, hot mess inside, full of old machinery and the smell of oil
that clogs his nose, and he tugs out his phone again to dial Ritsu’s number,
hoping that sound is a little extra help. “Ritsu?” he calls. “Ritsu, come out
now, Onii-chan’s here.” 

There’s a soft scrabbling sound, and a tin can goes skittering through a
hallway. “Here,” comes an almost inaudible whisper from a dark corner, the
source of the hurled can.

Ritsu is curled into a ball, his Yumenosaki uniform covered in grime and blood,
face buried in his knees, lying horizontally in a corner. His eyes are
bloodshot and pulsing crimson, the only visible part of his face.

Rei’s eyes refocus amidst the mess of the factory, and he sucks in a sharp
(frantic) breath as he darts over. The smell of blood--it isn’t Ritsu’s, it
isn’t, but that doesn’t make him stop panicking. “Ritsu, Ritsu, what happened?”
he breathes, dropping down in front of him and immediately reaching for him.
“Did someone hurt you? I’ll kill them.” 

Ritsu launches suddenly forward, tackling Rei to the ground in a way he’s never
been remotely able to before, face buried in his broad, warm, comforting chest
as he sobs. “I didn’t--I didn’t mean to, he just--it was so--then it was over
and I--I had to run I couldn’t--I tried--hurt so much, I--it felt so good, I
didn’t--I didn’t mean to!”

Ritsu...feels warm. Oddly so. He feels warm, and has strength behind that
tackle that startles Rei into landing flat on his back, blinking up at the
grimy rafters. “What...Ritsu, Ritsu, shh, breathe.” He shoves himself back up
onto his elbows, grasping for Ritsu’s face, lifting his head. His heart is
trying to thud its way out of his chest, but he has to be the calm one. “Tell
me what happened, you know I won’t be upset.” Unless someone hurt you, and then
I’ll kill them. 

Ritsu sucks in a breath, shuddering and wet, and finally manages to get himself
into some semblance of sense. He doesn’t meet Rei’s eyes, voice toneless as he
tries to explain. “I...I was going to find you. I figured...I figured you’d be
at Hibi-kun or Itsu-kun’s house, so I was gonna go look for you. There was...”

A wave of cold goes through him at the memory of the man’s bright eyes. “There
was a man. He said...he was a fan. He was following me. He, he yelled my name.
Grabbed my arm. I think he broke it.”

Rei struggles not to let his nails dig in before he releases Ritsu’s face,
immediately grabbing for his arm. “But it isn’t broken,” he says warily.
“Ritsu, if something else happened, you can tell me--” 

“I bit him.” The words are small, Ritsu’s voice that of a child, a frightened
one who’s seen the monster under the bed and knows the adults are lying to him.
“I meant to just scare him, but I was really scared...Onii-chan, I...he
struggled--you never struggle--and it made me rip into the skin, and...I
kept...going...” 

Ritsu rocks back, burying his face in his legs again. “I killed him. Drained
him dry, and--and my arm healed, and--and I ran so fast, and--and the sun
doesn’t hurt so bad, and--” 

He dissolves into sobbing, hugging his knees tight.

Oh. Oh. That explains so much, so,so much, and Rei wishes it didn’t make him
feel relieved when Ritsu is crying that hard, sobbing that much. “It’s okay,
it’s okay,” he whispers automatically, lurching forward after Ritsu to grab him
again, pulling him firmly against his chest. “Ritsu--Ritsu, I swear it’s okay.
You’re fine, aren’t you? Your arm healed, you’re not hungry, the sun isn’t
hurting you...and no one’s going to find out, I promise.” 

Rei sucks in another, calming breath, all to stop himself from sympathetically
crying--why?! why does he do that!--and he cups Ritsu’s face in his hands,
holding him still and making him meet his eyes for a moment. “We’re vampires,”
he quietly, firmly reminds him. “It’s natural. You didn’t do anything wrong. He
was bad, anyway, he hurt you.” 

“Wh-what if it was a mistake?” Ritsu whispers, staring up unblinkingly, tears
streaming down his face. “What if he--what if he was normal, he just wanted to
talk to me? I murdered him! I’ve never...done that, I’ve never had more than a
sip, but it...” His hands start shaking, and he clutches at Rei’s shirt,
leaving crusted grimy handprints. “It felt so good. Like I’ve been starving for
years and I’m finally full.”

“He broke your arm, that’s not just wanting to talk to you!” Rei’s hands slide
to Ritsu’s shoulders to gently shake him. “If it hadn’t been you, he would have
hurt someone else. So--so think of it like taking out the trash, Ritsu, you
have to. The bonus that you finally got to drink, for real.” 

Ritsu stares, running the tip of his tongue over his bottom lip, still not
entirely focusing. “You don’t hate me? I’m not...your cute little brother
anymore.”

“Wrong,” Rei says with a ragged laugh, squeezing Ritsu’s shoulders. “So wrong.
You’re the cutest, Ritsu, no matter what you do. I could never hate you.” 

Ritsu butts his head against Rei’s shoulder, thin frame shaking. “Y-you’d
better. B-because...I don’t think I can let Maa-kun be part of...part of my
life now. So it’s just you.” He laughs, wet and ragged. “The year can be over
early.”

There’s that panic again, clutching at Rei’s heart and refusing to let go. I’m
not ready, I can’t even get a record deal, how am I supposed to take care of
you?“Don’t say that,” he quietly says, slowly stroking a hand down Ritsu’s
back. “Isara-kun was so worried about you. He loves you a lot, you know.” 

“He doesn’t know I’m a murderer. He’s...he’s too good for someone that kills
other people, Onii-chan.” 

“Who says you have to tell him?” Rei slowly climbs to his feet, scooping up
Ritsu with him, grime and all. “It isn’t like my friends know what I’ve done,
either.” 

Ritsu clings to Rei’s neck like he hasn’t done since they were children,
burying his face in his chest. At least he’s safe here. At least they can be
safe in the dark together, sealed up into a warm, comfortable coffin where no
light can get in. The tears don’t stop, flowing harder whenever he thinks of
Mao’s smile, getting farther away from him. “You’ve killed people. In England.
Right? I know you said you did. But now I believe you.”

“Mm. I did, a few times.” Rei picks his way through the discarded, broken
machinery as he heads towards the door. “I was scared the first time, too, you
know. I cried like a baby for hours. All right, I cried the second time, too,”
he admits with a soft laugh. “And the third. Basically, I’m terrible at this
kind of thing.” 

“We can be bad at it together.” That’s fine, Ritsu thinks, swallowing down a
lump in his chest. “What...is gonna change? In me?”

“You’re doing better than me already, don’t worry.” He’d cried for hours the
first time, and then, because his friends thought he had gotten broken up with
(such a normal, human thing), he’d been dragged out to a club, and moped and
cried more until he’d been convinced that getting high for the first time was a
great plan. Hiding in a warehouse sounds so nice in comparison. “You’re going
to feel a lot better--it’ll probably be easier for you to fake having a normal
sleep schedule, and the sun won’t hurt as much...that’s nice, right?” Rei kicks
the door open again, stepping out into the evening air, and breathes it in,
slow and deep. “You won’t be hungry for awhile, either. That must be a
relief.” 

“...m’scared,” Ritsu admits, clinging tighter to Rei’s neck. “That now I’ve
been full...I won’t be able to go back to starving. What if I get hungry and I
hurt Maa-kun? I’d kill myself.”

“You won’t hurt him, you have more self-control than that,” Rei firmly says,
carrying him down the (fortunately) empty streets. “I’ve been hungry before,
and I’ve never hurt one of my friends. You’ll know when to step away. Also,
it’s a lot easier to go back to starving than you’d think.” 

That’s a weight off, and Ritsu sighs in relief, rubbing his cheek against Rei’s
soft shirt. “I’m getting you all gross. You should have higher standards, Onii-
chan. Don’t let murderers wipe their gross faces on your nice shirts. Have some
self-respect.”

“I figure it’s the price to pay for making you upset in the first place,” Rei
says with a laugh. “Ahh, but you are sort of bloody, you’re going to need to
wear my sweater over all that, or we can’t take the train.” 

“You don’t want to carry me the whole way home?” Ritsu is starting to get some
of his composure back, courtesy of Rei’s strong arms and reassuring presence.
“Rude. Nn....Onii-chan, I’d die without you. Don’t get all yucky about it or
I’ll take it back.”

It takes effort to blink back the sudden surge of tears that come to his eyes.
“I-I’m not getting yucky about it, I swear, I’m just really happy,” Rei sniffs,
pausing to finally set Ritsu down onto his feet, and unbutton his sweater which
is only moderately grimy instead of caked in dried blood. “I’d love to carry
you all the way home, but...Ritsu, I can’t.” He drapes his sweater around
Ritsu’s shoulders, distractedly smoothing it into place. “Mom and Dad kicked me
out.” 

Ritsu’s eyes blaze suddenly behind the hair plastered over his face, and he
mutters, “I hate Mom and Dad. Let’s kill them.”

“No.” Rei brushes Ritsu’s hair out of his face, trying to fix it even though
it’s a gross mess. “We’re not going to do that. It’s...fine, it just encourages
me to get my act together faster, heh. I wanted to tell you before, but you
kept avoiding me, and I didn’t want to annoy you.” 

“You’re always annoying,” Ritsu mutters affectionately, batting Rei’s hands
away. “But you should tell me stuff like that. Or if you’re gonna be gone, at
least get our freaking apartment already. I hate Mom and Dad, I don’t wanna go
back either.”

“I’m working on it, I promise,” Rei reassures him, ruffling Ritsu’s hair one
last time before he finishes buttoning the sweater up. It’s much too large for
Ritsu, but that just makes it cuter. “Just...tolerate them a little while
longer, okay? Kaoru-kun and I, we’re thinking of sticking together after
school. Our most recent submission was a joint one, so maybe we’ll have better
luck now.” 

“Nn, you should. Kaoru-kun is a good boy.” Ritsu holds his hands up,
demonstrating the way the sleeves flop off his hands. “You can say I look cute
with floppers. I won’t even punch you.”

Rei stifles a whimper behind one hand. “You’re so cute, Ritsu,” he groans
helplessly, unable to resist reaching for his phone. It’s one of those days.
“Let me take a picture, please, please--” 

“I’m literally covered in blood and dirt. Refrain or I start talking in keigo.”

“Ritsuuu, I’m begging, you’re so cute, I’m going to die.” 

“I’ll wear it for you later, get me on the train.”

“Okay, okay,” Rei bemoans, putting his phone away and reaching for Ritsu’s
hand. “I’ll walk you home either way. Will you be okay there? I can take you to
Isara-kun’s instead, if you want.” 

“I hate home. I’d say take me to Maa-kun’s, but...” Ritsu looks down at
himself. “I dunno what he’d think if I showed up like this. You really think I
can keep it from him?”

“...Why don’t you go home, change your clothes, then go to Isara-kun’s?” Rei
suggests, tugging Ritsu along towards the train station. “Just tell him you
were upset, got lost, and got stuck in a factory. He’ll believe it and he’ll
understand.” He hesitates, and then adds, wearily, “And try to get up in the
morning the next day and get yourself dressed, okay? You work that boy so
hard.” 

“It’s...hard.” Ritsu follows, stumbling along towards the train station,
letting Rei pull him. “It’s always really hard in the mornings. Is that...gonna
be easier now? I usually feel like dying would be better than going to school.
It’s not like I wanna feel that way, you know.”

“It’ll be easier now,” Rei reassures him. “I mean, it isn’t the easiest in the
world no matter what, but you’ll feel a lot less sick. If you want to make
Isara-kun happy, Ritsu, you have to keep trying, even if you feel bad. If
you’re trying, he can keep helping you.” 

“Why do you care so much?” Ritsu deliberately wipes his running nose on Rei’s
sleeve, looking him dead in the eye. “I thought you didn’t like Maa-kun. And
you get weird if I tell you about how much I like him. Doesn’t Onii-chan want
me all for himself anymore?”

“Ahh, that’s not it, that’s not it.” Rei squeezes Ritsu’s hand tightly,
glancing away.   “I just think it’s better for you to have more than one person
to rely upon, especially if I’m not going to be home. And you like Isara-kun--
you don’t like a lot of people, Ritsu, so it’s best to keep the ones that you
do.”

“Don’t give me away in an omiai yet,” Ritsu says dryly. “Maa-kun is normal, you
know? It wouldn’t be fair to burden him with a vampire, even if...” Even if he
makes me feel like no one else does, even when he’s avoiding me.

“It’s not an omiai,” Rei says with a laugh. “That’s reserved for Marigold.
Besides, Ritsu, you know how he is. If he didn’t want you to rely on him, he
would’ve walked away a long time ago.” 

Ritsu’s mouth turns up in a secret little smile, and he rubs his chin on Rei’s
shirt, following him up onto the train. “Marigold is a dumb name for a dog,
Onii-chan,” he says softly, twining his fingers together with Rei’s. It’s weird
not to feel like he’s going to die just from being out in the daytime. He’s not
even sure if he likes it yet, not when he’s been so sure he was about to die
for the last few years.

“You’re unnecessarily cruel. I think it’s very charming.” Rei swipes their
passes for both of them, and steers Ritsu up the stairs. “Can you do me a
favor, when you go home tonight?” 

“Is it to do with your sheet music?” It’s always the sheet music. Or the dog.

“You know me so well. Yes, it’s my sheet music. Can you, please, please, bring
it all to me? I know there’s a lot, so if it has to be in shifts, that’s
fine...and Marigold, I want him, and all of his toys, of course.” 

“I’ll get Maa-kun to help me with the suitcases,” Ritsu says, resigned.
Marigold’s toys alone will take up two or three suitcases, if he remembers
correctly.

“You’re so good to me, Ritsu!” He can’t kiss his brother in public, but he can
certainly squeeze him in a hug tightly enough to lift him off his feet. “Thank
youuu, what a sweet boy, a good boy.”

“Owww...Onii-chan, you’re so strong...” Though it doesn’t hurt like it used to,
when Rei would squeeze him and his ribs would creak. Now he feels sturdier, and
it’s weird. At least he doesn’t feel like he’s going to break when Rei holds
him. He huffs, at another thought. “I hope sex isn’t gonna hurt less, that
would suck.”

Rei stifles a snort of laughter into Ritsu’s hair as he plops him back down.
“Don’t say that, you’re terrible. You don’t want it to hurt too much.” I’m
always terrified of hurting you, is what he would say if they weren’t on a
train platform. 

“I get bored if it only feels good,” Ritsu says with a yawn, crawling
unrepentantly onto Rei’s lap, nuzzling into his neck. “Wake me up when we get
there. Or don’t, and carry me to a block away from home.”

Rei loops his arms around Ritsu, pulling his sweater over Ritsu’s face to tame
him into stillness. “I’ll make sure you get there safely.” It’s the least he
can do this time, when he’s obviously already failed at keeping Ritsu safe and
sound in the first place. 

***** Chapter 3 *****
 
Eichi’s bedroom door is usually locked, but Keito knows the door better than he
knows his own at home. He knows how to jiggle the doorknob precisely two turns
to the left, a flaw that his parents have never fixed because they have to have
some measure of control over their wayward son, and he uses it now, letting
himself into Eichi’s bedroom an hour before he is to wake up for school. It’s
the only way; there’s no time to talk at school with the Dream Fest schedule,
and Eichi’s been with Wataru every day after school until bedtime, and
sometimes after. 

So, before school it is, and Keito waits silently, folded into seiza next to
Eichi’s bedside, waiting for him to wake on his own.

Precisely on the hour, Eichi’s alarm goes off, and as always, he reaches over
to smack his hand down onto his phone to shut it up.

This time, he misses, and he shifts with an unhappy noise, snatching his phone
up by the flap of its case to drag it over and switch the alarm off properly
before it can cheerfully drag him into the world of wakefulness all the more.
He sits up with a sigh, blinking a few times into the dim light of his room
before he turns--and stares Keito directly in the eye. “Ah.”

It’s not the first time Keito has been there when he has woken up, but it’s the
first time in awhile. “I finished my paperwork, I swear,” he says, first and
foremost, his voice rough with sleep, and he stifles a cough--the first one, at
least, before another one makes him hack and reach for the perpetual glass of
water next to his bed. “Don’t scold me first thing, I’ll die faster!”

Keito hands over the water--he’d replaced it, it’s the least he can do--
silently, then shakes his head. “It isn’t about that. Your work was all in
order, for once. I’m here as a friend.”

Eichi gulps down half the glass, breathes in deep through his nose, and flops
directly back onto his back once more, thrusting the glass back into Keito’s
hand. “Good. I was trying to behave myself. You seemed so stressed.” Keito
always seems stressed, but this time, it had seemed genuine. When Keito stops
complaining, that’s when the real issues show up. 

Keito adjusts his glasses, then smoothes his hands down his legs, feeling the
muscles twitch slightly from the seiza. Not as if he hasn’t spent longer in it,
but not usually in his school uniform. “Rather, I should have said I came
here...in search of a friend. And to ask a question. A question that I hope
you’ll answer honestly, so please let me know when you’re feeling honest enough
to answer.”

Eichi blinks over at him, and slowly rotates onto his side to peer at him
contemplatively. “You came at a good time,” he finally says, patting the side
of his bed to invite Keito to sit on that instead of looking so uncomfortably
bunched up into seiza. “Ke~i~to. What’s going on?” 

Carefully, Keito unfolds, then sits on the side of the bed. Too soft, his mind
tells him. That’s probably why Eichi has no discipline. 

Ah, he’s just trying to distract himself with stupid thoughts like that. Keito
folds and unfolds his hands, then asks, “Do you have any romantic feeling
towards me, Eichi? Any? I know you’re currently dating someone else, and I
don’t care. If you have the slightest spark towards me, I’ll wait for a hundred
years and never complain about it.”

This is just going to be one of those mornings, isn’t it? Eichi opens his mouth
to protest, to tell Keito it’s too early to ask that kind of question--but, ah,
that won’t change anything, will it? He sighs, glancing aside. “No,” he says,
in what he hopes is a relatively gentle tone of voice. “I don’t. You’re not
going to go kill Wataru, are you? I mean, you’d die trying, but...” 

Keito shakes his head curtly, binking rapidly for a moment before he gets his
feelings properly under control. “No, no, of course not. Ah, it’s almost a
relief to hear it. I should have asked you years ago. Mm, humiliating, but I
suppose I thought I was being terribly romantic, waiting for my childhood
friend to come around.”

“I’m soorrryy,” Eichi whines, reaching out to pat Keito’s leg. “It isn’t like I
didn’t try. You’re delightful, you really are, and I love you dearly...but, as
a friend, you know? My best friend. But why this all of a sudden? Did I do
something inappropriate? I’ve been trying to curb those kinds of behaviors.” 

“Eichi, for once, not everything is about you.” But this is where it gets
awkward, because it’s about feelings, and Keito always tries to have his in
private like a good Japanese man. “There’s...someone else. Ah, I have no time
for beating around the bush. Kanzaki is seeing Hakaze and I hate it, but I
didn’t feel I should pursue until I found out how you felt about me.”

“Ooooh. Awww, Keito-tan, you’re in love!” Eichi sits upright immediately--
coughs, for a few seconds, but that’s inevitable--and scoots closer to Keito,
eyes gleaming. “Chase him. You have to pursue him properly!”

Keito spreads his hands, totally at a loss. “How?”

“What do you mean, ‘how’? I know you’ve been having sex with him. Confess to
him properly, like a man!”

“But he’d hate that!” Keito is absolutely certain of this, if nothing else. “He
gets confused if I give him the slightest compliment that can’t be construed as
something a fucking shogun would say to his favorite page.”

“What you need to do is tell him that you want him as both a page, and as a
lover,” Eichi insists, clenching his fist. “Tell him you can’t not have him,
that he has to be yours forever. He’ll love that.” 

“Damn. That does sound like something he’d love.” Keito rubs the bridge of his
nose, hoping against hope that Eichi won’t start taking this as a personal
crusade. “But he’s dating someone that’s very good at it. Hakaze is a terrible
flirt. I’m mildly appalled that Kanzaki fell for such a thing.”

“Keito.” Eichi grabs his friend’s shoulder, giving him a firm shake. “Just talk
to him like you always talk to him--down to him and like you own him. He
clearly loves it! There’s no way Kaoru-kun can out-asshole you, he’s a good
boy! And furthermore, I’ll be furious if you don’t chase after your beloved.
Look what happened the first time, hmmm?” 

That does it.

Keito stands, clenching a fist as if he’s Eichi himself, a firm nod and a
jutting out of his chin to show the resolution. “I’ll do it, or I’ll atone for
it! Hold me to it after school. Ah, if I find him...odds are he’s done some
damn fool thing like parcicing yoga on a rooftop all night, what a lunatic.”
His tone is most assuredlynot fond or affectionate.

“That’s the spirit! Scold him! Scold him and make him atone by being your lover
for real this time!” That totally sounds like something that Kanzaki kid would
like. “Steal him away like you’re a feudal lord...like...like Nobunaga. That’s
right, you’re Nobunaga today, and he’s your Ranmaru. Just don’t let him cut his
hair, it’s his one charm point.” 

“It’s...I wouldn’t say he only has one charm point, Eichi--”

“That’s the spirit! Now go!”
 
~
/Last Year/
 
It’s humid and rainy and disgusting, and Rei regrets every life choice he’s
made since he was born.
 
That’s why ending up in front of Shu’s house when the sun finally goes down,
the stars come out, and the moon ends up blocked by heavy rain clouds feels
like a smarter decision than most things. Huddled underneath his umbrella,
still damp and miserable, he stares at Shu’s front door, debating whether or
not to actually knock. Before, it’s only been with Wataru and Kanata that he’s
spent time here. If it’s just him, it’s strange, isn’t it?
 
But being home right now is the worst, even if he feels like it’s the last
night he’s got left there.
 
Rei reaches out a hand, knocks, and waits, hoping against hope that Shu both
answers and doesn’t. How much can an old, barely-tuned piano help out tonight,
anyway?
 
A few long minutes after the knock, the front door slowly creaks open, and
Itsuki Shu stands blinking in the darkness. He’s already changed for the
evening, in a long ruffled nightshirt of his own design and fuzzy slippers, a
half-finished pair of trousers draped over one chair, his desktop computer open
to a file in progress. When he sees Rei, he sighs, smiling as he opens the
door. “I should have known something would happen tonight. I couldn’t focus.
Thought maybe it was a full moon or something.”
 
Rei heaves a sigh of his own, hanging his head. “I’m a nuisance, you could’ve
said it outright,” he says wryly, stepping a bit further onto the porch to
lower his umbrella, shaking off all of the rainwater. “If you’re in the middle
of something, tell me to leave, and I will. I…” Explanations as to why he’s
here are difficult, and they stick to his tongue, refusing to come out. “Well.
Beatrice calls to me.”
 
“Have at her, then.” Shu clears a few stray papers and swatches off the piano,
shutting the door behind Rei, taking his coat. “I daresay she misses you when
you’re gone. I was just trying to fix a skit I was writing. Will you read it
with me when you’re done plunking?”
 
“Least I can do. More of your cool steampunk thing, or is this something for
Wataru?” This isn’t the time for his mind to go to what he’d overheard his
parents talking about in low, hushed voices in the kitchen—“We’re right to not
let this continue. One school already accepted him, he has to go now or it’ll
just get worse!”—because if he is getting sent off somewhere, how easy is it
going to be to make new friends that let him come over in the middle of the
night and bang on their piano, or insist on having him read their new skits, or
get him to help them compose things, or…
 
Rei shrugs it off, toes off his shoes, and makes a beeline for the piano in
question. The old, worn-down ivory at least feels familiar underneath tired
fingers, but it doesn’t stop the way his leg tries to start shaking, all in
nervous, unhappy energy. “Stop that,” he mutters to himself, giving his knee a
slap. “Nice nightgown, by the way.”
 
“Nightshirt. Nightgowns should be cut to ankle-length, and have some sort of a
waist, at least by my standards. It’s fine, I’ll be the one that knows things
about clothes.”
 
Shu pads over on slippered feet, leaning over Rei’s shoulder to watch him pick
at the keys. “I really want this unit to work. It’s a good idea, I think. You
think he’ll join? The boy I’ve been telling you all about?” That boy is older
than he is, but that’s not the point.
 
“Nice nightshirt,” Rei seamlessly corrects himself with a glittering smile, and
relaxes marginally, at least, when Shu comes over to watch him play. Having any
kind of an audience is helpful, and no matter how much Shu complains about
jazz, he never seems to hate Rei’s particular brand of it. Breaking open a few
chords sets the tone, and the easy improv on a Liszt concerto is hilarious to
anyone with a brain (someone like Shu). “It’s the same one you’ve been wooing
this whole time? He’ll join up, just keep being nice to him.”
 
“I made him a shirt. That isn’t weird, is it?” Shu listens to the tune for a
moment longer, then snorts. “Heh. Hey, scoot over.” He slides onto the piano
bench, then starts plucking out a high counterpoint above Rei, focusing so he
doesn’t interrupt the obvious master at work. “Looking for a career model? They
used to mob the stage when he threw his gloves.”
 
“God,” Rei laughs, gracious enough to fool around with the piece less, play it
straight more, because eh, Liszt is good and scooting over to let Shu pluck out
a few notes is delightful (even if he can’t swing to save his life). “I can
always count on you to understand my jokes, at least. But to answer your
question, no, I don’t think it’s weird. You make nice things. Did he like it?”
 
“Hard to say. He accepted it.” Shu frowns, bending over to pay his hands more
attention, frustrated with how the day had gone yet again. “He won’t smile for
me, though. No matter what I do. Mon Dieu, Rei, I’d do anything to see him
smile for me. Anything.”
 
“Maybe he’s shy,” Rei hopefully offers up, his eyes flicking down to the keys,
sighing at the state of his nails, black polish chipped and ugly. If Ritsu were
still in middle school, if he were still a first year, there would be plenty of
time for the two of them to spend an hour doing one another’s nails, Ritsu
insisting on painting his toenails pink because who’s gonna see it anyway, huh,
Onii-chan? Unbidden, hot, stinging tears prick at his eyes, and Rei scowls at
himself, slamming down a chord far too aggressively. “Kiss him already,” he
suggests suddenly. “Seriously, Shu, he’s adorable, just do it.”
 
The sudden aggressive demand makes Shu’s hands falter on the keys, and he draws
back, startled. “I...” He swallows. If it were anyone else he’d be more than a
little nervous, but it’s Rei, his sempai, the one who actually comes over
because he cares (far more often than his parents or siblings do, not that
that’s hard). “I...what if I hate it?”
 
That’s not the response Rei expects. He expects Shu to stutter out an excuse or
two about not being ready!or how it’s not like that!—but not, what if I hate
it. Rei blinks, pausing to stare at him. “What do you…that’s a weird question,”
he says with a startled laugh. “You like him, obviously.”
 
“But I don’t know that I like kissing.” The memory of his first kiss--Kiryuu’s
wet lips on his, cheeks blotchy from nerves, hands too-rough on his shoulders--
isn’t an exciting one, and Shu’s been terrified since then that he’s not
someone for whom physical intimacy will ever be a reality. “It’s...messy. And
clumsy, and awkward, and all the things I’d rather die than be. I’ll just be
like my grandmother, in the attic with my dolls until someone finds my corpse a
month later.”
 
“Oooh,” Rei breathes out, his hands stilling entirely on the piano. “That makes
more sense. Don’t talk about dying in your attic just yet, you loon,” he adds,
affectionately exasperated, turning to really look at Shu. “Do you want to
practice with me?”
 
“Don’t be stupid. You’re sexy. I’m aesthetic. A--a museum piece.” He’s had a
couple of years to develop this particular opinion about himself. “I don’t
think...anyone should ever touch me?” And Rei is so sexy, with his rough
language and easy hips, with his tousled black waves and searing crimson eyes,
with his delicate hands and long, long legs...
 
Shu swallows, tugging at the collar of his nightshirt. “You’d be disappointed.”
 
“…Who’s given you the idea you’re a museum piece?” Rei asks after a short
pause, his head tilting as he tries not to stare too intensely at Shu. Damn,
but this is easier than thinking about his own problems and the
inevitable—delving into Itsuki Shu’s potential love life is much more a
soothing balm to his nerves, and it’s why he reaches out, gently thumbing a few
strands of hair out of Shu’s face. “You’re lovely,” he bluntly says. “And I’m
not just saying that to be nice to you. You’re handsome and smart, and have
great fashion sense, and there are a lot of guys out there that would wanna
kiss you. Especially when you get that shy look on your face,” he teases,
tapping Shu’s cheek with one finger. “C’mon, Shu.”
 
Just that one tap of his cheek makes Shu flush pink, his heart thudding against
his ribs in a way it only has a few times before, and never because of someone
physically present with him. Rei feels so immediate, right in front of him and
insistent, and Shu tries to catch his breath. There have been plenty of great
artists who haven’t allowed themselves to be physically compromised, he wants
to say, has written in a letter tucked away in his great-aunt’s chest of
drawers, but the words die on his lips. Rei looks intent, eager, and smiling,
all things Shu hasn’t ever expected to see on the face of someone who wants to
kiss him.
 
It hasn’t been so long since he was tiny, after all. Oh, he’s taller now,
everything filling out well, but only a couple of years back he’d been the
shortest one in class, the easiest one to shove around with his dolls and his
mannerisms, all because they couldn’t understand how much better he is than
they are. Not being touched had been a refuge--delicate, lovely things are not
to be messed with, they’re to be cherished.
 
But Rei doesn’t want to bully him.
 
Shu swallows hard, and looks down. “All right,” he says softly. “As long as you
aren’t making fun of me.”
 
“I’d rather punch myself in the face,” Rei honestly says, “and anyone else, if
they tried to. Seriously, you’re so cute, what the hell.”
 
And because he’s very certain Shu will bolt if he doesn’t go on with it—he can
hear the way his heart thuds, the way his pulse quickens and his blood races in
his veins (distracting, distracting, maybe one of these days he’ll stop being
hungry)—Rei catches Shu’s chin between his fingers, tipping his head up and
kissing him. The usual way he wants to kiss boys doesn’t work here; Shu’s
terrified of it being messy, so Rei takes care for it not to be, not yet, not
when he can press their lips together and part his lips just enough to set his
teeth to Shu’s lower lip, gently tugging, sucking.
 
Oh.
 
This is...different, from his one kiss with Kiryuu.
 
Rei’s lips are careful, the tiniest bit plumped with chapstick, searching and
kind and warm and sweet. Shu whimpers out a breath through his nose, his hands
coming up to rest on Rei’s broad chest, startled by the way his body wants to
rouse to even such a gentle touch. This isn’t like anything he’s felt before,
the way he wants to melt, to clutch, to be kissed--if this is what kissing is
like, he definitely hasn’t done it properly before, no matter what he’d
thought.
 
Theeere we go. That was easier than Rei thought it would be—he half-expected
Shu to slap him on principle, because hey, who likes being wrong about what
they like and don’t like? There’s a time and a place for teasing him about
that, though, because far better are those cute reactions, and scooting the
sparsest bit closer on the piano bench, one hand resting on Shu’s thigh as he
flicks his tongue against Shu’s still-closed lips. “Open up,” Rei murmurs,
thumbing the line of his jaw.
 
Shu blinks, slightly dazed. “Open? Why?”
 
Rei’s eyes roll, amused, and he answers by sliding his fingers back through
Shu’s hair instead, pulling him forward when he cuts Shu off and shoves his
tongue into his mouth. Doing this without being ‘messy’, like Shu had shuddered
about, is an art, Rei figures. Sliding his tongue against Shu’s, sucking on it
and carefully dragging his teeth against it when he draws back shoulder answer
the question of whywell enough, and Rei licks up the stray, gossamer strand of
saliva that connects them before Shu even has an inkling of it. “‘Cause,” he
says, eyes lidded, “you need to be kissed properly.”
 
Shu’s eyes feel bright, his skin prickling all over, pulse racing, a low heat
building to a simmer in his belly. He licks his lips--tasting Rei, I can taste
him on my lips, his tongue was in my mouth--and doesn’t hate it.
 
Finally, he nods, a tiny smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “You
convinced me,” he says, shyer now than he’s ever felt, though maybe that’s
because of the way Rei is looking at him--as if Shu is something he wants to
see. “I suppose...I just needed practice. It isn’t...bad.”
 
“That’s all I get?” Rei complains, even if he laughs as he tugs Shu forward
again. “That it isn’t bad? Shu, you’re so mean to me. I just showed you how to
score with anyone.”
 
Shu blinks up at Rei--has he always been that much taller than me?--and
stammers, “I don’t...I don’t know what else you mean? Fine, you’re right about
kissing, perhaps I wasn’t meant to be a museum piece!”
 
His eyes dart sideways, and he adds quietly, “Or maybe you’re just so
attractive it doesn’t matter how many deficiencies I have.”
 
“Now you’re being cute,” Rei hums, lurching forward to steal another kiss as a
reward. “But you don’t need to neg yourself to compliment other people, you
know. I’m hot, you’re hot, and we should keep making out.”
 
Shu’s head tilts as he tries to process the statement. Keep making out? Rei is
still kissing him--which must mean that he needs a lot more practice. The idea
isn’t an unmeritorious one, and he shifts forward, more eager now, though he
does lament the fact that he’s in a nightshirt that doesn’t at all conceal how
interested certain parts of him are becoming. How troubling.
 
“F-fine,” he murmurs, and lurches up, hoping to distract Rei by showing off
some of what he’s learned. He hasn’t been friends with Hibiki Wataru for years
without picking up some skills at mimicry.
 
It’s been too long since he’s sat and kissed someone that wasn’t Ritsu for
longer than a minute, which is what Rei tells himself when he automatically
slides a hand up high on Shu’s thigh, squeezing when he catches Shu’s mouth in
another kiss. “Ahh, sorry,” he says, not sounding as sheepish as he should,
definitely, nor does he exactly stop touching Shu when he grabs the front of
Shu’s nightshirt with his other hand to keep him close with every kiss.
“Habit.”
 
“Wh-what kind of habit is that?” Shu squawks a little at the touch, jumping
like a nervous gazelle, twisting a little in Rei’s hold from nerves, not really
trying to get away. They’re making out, of course. Is this part of it? Rei
seems so confident...and it isn’t as if the hand on his thigh feels bad, just
surprising. He clutches at Rei’s collar, trying to find something to ground
himself, and breathes as deeply as he can as his pulse jumps and stutters. “You
really get up to some indiscreet things!”
 
“Yep,” Rei cheerfully says, and gives up on trying to keep Shu close when he’s
fluttering that much. Instead, he just hauls Shu over into his lap outright,
pressing his back to the piano in a cacophony of sound that would normally
stress him, but, well, the piano is already questionable, and he can always
tune it up again later… “Relax a little,” he murmurs, leaning in to nuzzle at
Shu’s neck—and immediately regrets it. Shu’s pulse is fluttering as much as the
rest of him, jumping and eager and fast, and Rei swallows, his hands squeezing
against Shu’s thighs when the compulsion to press a kiss there, then to part
his lips and suck on that soft skin is too much to resist.
 
“Don’t--” The protest dies in Shu’s throat as Rei’s mouth makes short work of
his objections, and, well, he can always add more ruffles for the next few
days, as distressing as that idea might be. He twists and squirms to keep the
piano from digging into his bones, winding up straddling Rei’s thighs,
nightshirt riding up high on his hips as he finally gives in, letting his head
fall back with a shudder. “That’s...nice,” he breathes, fingers clutching at
Rei’s shoulders, one trailing up to thread through that thick mass of dark
hair.
 
Shu’s head falls back, and Rei can’t help himself. His own breath hiccups when
the thud of Shu’s pulse is so much stronger against his tongue, and the
struggle not to bite, not to just have one little taste is agonizing. The
amount of self-control it takes makes him dizzy, unfocused, and all the more
eager to think about other things that feel good, like the way he can feel
Shu’s pulse underneath his fingertips on his thighs as well when he squeezes
gently, his hands sliding upward, curling just underneath the hem of his
nightshirt when his mouth fastens on the skin beneath Shu’s ear, and his teeth
catching against his earlobe shortly after. “You look so good like this,” Rei
murmurs, his own face a little flushed, his own eyes a little glazed. “Shu…mm,
Shu.” His thumb skims over a jutting hipbone, hiking his nightshirt up just a
bit more. “Let me take care of you.”
 
Rei’s touch is hypnotic, almost bewitching, and Shu feels his body tremble
under every brush of talented, calloused musician’s fingertips. One slipper
dangles from his toes, the other falling off as he readjusts, certain he’s too
gawky, too awkward, too inexperienced to make this fun for Rei. That panic
starts to rise--someone is watching him, someone is staring, someone is seeing
him at his most vulnerable, oh god, oh God--

But Rei is complimenting him, nuzzling into his neck, hands and mouth
wandering, and he shudders. “You...had better know what you’re doing.”

“I do, I do.” Shu is definitely not saying no,and he’s clinging, squirming,
making cute, breathy little sounds. Rei kisses his neck again, then again, then
back up to his mouth, hoping to silence some of his shaky nerves by kissing Shu
again thoroughly as he snakes a hand underneath his nightshirt, his fingers
immediately curling around his cock. “God,” he breathes against Shu’s mouth,
nipping gently at his lower lip. “You have such a nice cock.” 

Shu lets out a shriek, muffling it into Rei’s neck. His legs kick wildly,
slipper going flying to land on top of his coffee table as his hips rut
senselessly up into Rei’s hand. “G-god,” he chokes out, biting against his will
against Rei’s shoulder, clinging to his back. “You’re--Nnh, you can’t do that,
I’m--it’s--Rei, mon dieu--”

Rei laughs, unconcerned by Shu’s failing and subsequently holding him more
firmly against the piano in a plunking of dissonant keys. “Mm, mm, whatever you
say~” he hums, squeezing Shu’s cock as his hand strokes upward, rubbing his
thumb against the very tip of it. “It’s fine if you come like this, take the
edge off.” He’d thought about giving Shu a blowjob, but if he gets this worked
up over his hand, that might break his mind a little. 

Shu opens his mouth to protest that he’s not going to come that quickly, but
before he can say anything, he is, spurting urgent streams over Rei’s thumb,
messing his nightshirt with a few frantic thrusts upwards accompanied by a
dissonant minor D sharp. His fingers clutch and cling as he rides out the wave,
colors sparkling behind his eyes into brilliant pink and gold. 

He sags, draped inelegantly over Rei’s shoulders, gasping each breath as his
hips roll to a stop. “That...Rei, that was...more than kissing, my friend.”

“So it was,” Rei breathlessly agrees, dragging his hand away and hooking his
chin over Shu’s shoulder as he brings it around to suck his fingers clean--out
of sight, out of mind, Shu doesseem the type to find that sort of thing
disgusting. Funny, because Shu is one of the least offensive tastes he’s had on
his tongue. “You’re not mad, are you? Mmn, Shu,” he sighs, languidly nuzzling
his face into the side of his neck. “We can keep doing things that are more
than kissing.”

Shu wraps his legs around Rei’s waist, long slender muscles lashing out to keep
him closed. “If you leave now, I’ll be very distraught,” he says firmly, spots
of color high in his cheeks. “But you’ve got to take me somewhere other than
the piano!”

“Poor Beatrice doesn’t need to see more of this,” Rei agrees, and he scoops Shu
up like he weighs absolutely nothing (he basically doesn’t,to be fair). An
actual bed is the answer here, and Rei has been to Shu’s house more times than
he can count now, so princess carrying this wobbly pile of limbs up the stairs
and to his bedroom is an easy task. “Don’t worry,” he hums, nudging open the
door to Shu’s bedroom and neatly tossing him onto the bed. “If I’m going to
take you, it’s going to be somewhere proper.” 

Shu opens his mouth to argue semantics, then stops suddenly.

Oh.

 Oh.

He tugs down his nightshirt, suddenly intensely self-conscious. “This is--
happening rather quickly, don’t you think? I thought you were upset when you
came over...” A thought springs up in his mind, and he gulps, hands twisting in
the sheets. “What about Ritsu?” 

Rei’s mouth tightens. “What about him?” he asks dismissively, crawling onto the
bed after Shu, reaching out for the hem of his nightshirt. This, at least,
isnormal. Shu is his friend, not his brother, not someone he has to feel guilty
about having fun with, not someone he has to feel guilty about doing this with,
and the sudden craving he has for that startles him. His hand wavers, and he
sighs, trying to scale back the intensity, smoothing Shu’s nightshirt down.
“Sorry. I know it’s fast, I--I’m kind of used to that. If you don’t want to,
that’s cool.” 

The way Rei calms down is soothing. At least this is still his friend, someone
he trusts, someone who has protected and inspired him many times. Shu reaches
out, hooking a finger in Rei’s collar. “I’m not saying I don’t want to,” he
says quietly. “I just don’t want you to do it because you’re angry at someone
else. You...” He flushes, looking down at his frilled pink bedsheets, with a
few dolls tucked into their own beds in the corners. “I wouldn’t be questioning
it if you’d ever shown interest in me that way before.”

“...You haven’t been paying attention,” Rei says, a laugh escaping on a
relieved rush of breath as he drops his head, knocking it against Shu’s
shoulder. “Talk about tunnel vision,” he quietly says, scooting up further
between Shu’s legs. “I would’ve made out with you at that piano a dozen times
over if I thought you would’ve let me, but you’re usually a little fixated
elsewhere. Besides, I’m not mad at anyone. This is just fun. And, well...” He
rolls his eyes, raking a hand back through his own hair. “Like I’m gonna let
you go another step further as an idol being unprepared to get laid.”

Shu watches those hands move, almost transfixed by the way the drag through
thick locks as if they part as easily as water. “I’ve always loved looking at
your hands,” he admits, holding his shoulders as stiffly as he can manage when
his thighs are being parted. God, it isn’t as if Rei’s touches don’t make him
immediately, almost painfully hard again, and the thought niggles in the back
of his mind that Rei’s been so good to him and he hasn’t done anything in
return...

(It isn’t as if you haven’t thought about him touching you, a voice whispers in
the back of his mind. It isn’t as if you haven’t dreamed about him shoving you
up against a wall and fucking you, Shu-kun.)

He huffs out a breath--that mental voice is so strong--and flops back onto his
multitude of embroidered pillows. “Then you’d best prepare me, Rock And Roll
Idol-kun.”

“God, what a bad image to have,” Rei says with a laugh, even as he immediately
lunges, burying his face back into Shu’s neck mouthing a warm, eager kiss there
as he pushes Shu back down onto his pile of frilly pillows. “So,” he begins,
hiking Shu’s nightshirt up with insistent hands. Nestled between his thighs
like this, it’s easy to rock up between them, letting Shu feel exactly how hard
he is through his jeans. “If you like looking at my hands that much, does that
mean I should put them to better use?” 

Shu shakes his head, mind gone fuzzy with all the stimulus. Rei’s hands are
gorgeous, his mouth hypnotic, but the hard grind of that stiff cock against his
thigh is enough to steal his breath. “Let me touch it. Then you can...you can
do whatever you like within reason.”

That’s a reasonable request if Rei has ever heard one. He snaps open the fly to
his jeans, tugging them open and down his hips, and grabs Shu’s hand, pulling
it to the waistband of his boxer-briefs underneath. “Touch it however you
want,” he murmurs, sucking on the lobe of Shu’s ear, his breath hot and eager.
“I’m not the only one with lovely hands, you know...” 

“Yes, I know.” At least his hands haven’t changed with the horrific onset of
puberty. Shu reaches out, fingers brushing over the blunt head, sucking in a
breath at how hot it feels, as if Rei’s heart is beating just below the skin,
stretched taut over the swollen flesh. A drop of liquid hits the web between
his finger and thumb, and he recoils slightly, feeling the tacky wetness. “How
strange,” he murmurs. “Mine doesn’t...so much. Is it because it’s so big?”

Rei’s head thunks down into a pillow next to Shu’s head, his breath catching in
his throat. “It’s because I’m so turned on,” he says, his voice raspy at the
edges as his hips roll forward on their own accord, his cock rubbing against
Shu’s palm. “You’re...mmn. Everyone’s missing out.” 

The tips of Shu’s ears flush pink at that, and he stutters to find his usual
arrogance. “Well. Of course. I’ve always known everyone is missing out on me.”

It feels out of place here, though. He’s always been able to be startlingly
human with Rei, Rei who doesn’t need anything from him, Rei who sees all his
worst parts and still manages not to hate him for them. He lets the mask slip,
a little, and wraps his fingers around, stroking from base to tip. “This is how
I...how I like it. I wonder if it’s the same, for you?”

Rei chokes down a groan, shifting on the bed when his fingers flex into the
bed, bunching up the sheets as his hips roll forward against Shu’s touch.
“M...maybe a little too much,” he breathlessly laughs, trying to be patient, to
let Shu keep touching and stroking, but he’s losing his mind, bit by bit. 

Helplessly, Rei shoves a hand into the back pocket of his jeans, dragging out a
condom--tossed onto the bed, he’ll get to it in a minute--and a packet of lube
that he tears open with his teeth. “You don’t have to stop,” he murmurs,
letting it spill over his fingers, slick and dripping when he reaches up
between Shu’s legs. “But you did say I could do whatever I wanted, yeah?” One,
slick finger dragging against that tight hole makes his own mind fuzzy, and
it’s hard to remember not to get too pushy, not to just shove Shu down and have
him.

Shu’s breath shudders, then goes still.

All of his awareness is centered on that finger, teasing around his hole,
somewhere only he’s ever touched. A part of him shrieks that this is dirty,
that he’s not prepared, but he has taken his evening bath, and if anyone knows
what he’s doing it’s probably Rei...

He gasps for breath, hand squeezing the thick cock in his hand, squirming to
get his legs farther apart as he looks up into those glowing red eyes. “You
want to fuck me?” he breathes, feeling his own cock twitch hard at the
question. “That’s what you want, right? I’m not--I’m not wrong?”

Something about Shu--Itsuki Shu, elegant, prissy, refined Itsuki Shu--speaking
so inelegantly, so crudely, makes Rei’s mouth go dry. His own cock throbs,
painfully hard in Shu’s grasp, and Rei shudders, giving into the urge to
finally shove Shu’s legs as far open as they’ll go, pinning one thigh down to
the bed as his other hand busies itself between his legs, a slick finger
sinking inside. “Yeah,” Rei breathes, seizing Shu’s mouth in a kiss that’s not
as neat as the last few he’s stolen from Shu, overeager and insistent when that
long finger curls in deep, deliberately stroking. “I wanna hold you down and
fuck you and hear all the noises you’re gonna make when I finally get my cock
in you. Fuck, you’re tight.” And if Shu keeps grabbing his cock like that, he’s
not going to be able to help himself.

“Oh, God...”

Shu feels his eyes roll back, and bites into his own fist to keep from fainting
at the words. He’d thought Rei’s hands were good on his thighs, on his cock,
but it’s nothing to how they feel prodding and dragging inside of him. Inside--
that finger is inside him, touching him deeply, making him writhe and gasp at
the air that somehow eludes him, coaxing pleasure out of him with every
deliberate twist and rub. 

He gapes like a fish after the kisses, hungry for more, riding down on the
touches with every rock of his hips against Rei’s hand. He finally lets go of
Rei’s cock to yank at his shirt, fingers nimbly undoing every button to pull
the front apart, letting his hands drag down the smooth, toned torso he’s
admired so many times. “If you keep talking like that, I’ll let you,” he
promises weakly, dimly aware that he’d probably let Rei do anything he wanted
as long as he doesn’t stop touching him like that. 

“Shu likes it when I talk dirty, huh?” Rei teases, relaxing, just a little,
when Shu’s hands are finally occupied elsewhere. It doesn’t feel like Shu’s got
him by the brain anymore, which is helpful when he’s honestly trying to be good
and make Shu feel the best he’s ever fucking felt. 

He hikes Shu’s hips up with one hand, throwing one of those long legs over his
shoulder to spread him open even more, and drags him down onto his fingers when
he gets a second one inside with some effort. Shu is tight, no matter how slick
he’s made sure to make everything, and there’s not much to do about it other
than take his time and pet and stroke him from the inside out. “You already
felt how hard you made me,” he breathes, turning his head aside to suck on the
inside of Shu’s thigh, leaving tiny little hickeys across it. “Nothing to be
done but fuck you senseless. Mm, is that good?” Rei twists his hand, licking
his lips as he watches Shu’s face through his lashes. “You’re making faces like
it’s good. You like having them in you?”

Sakuma Rei, no matter how many times it has been stated, is simply not fair.

Shu rocks down on those long fingers as if they’re the last lifeline he has,
and god, that feels like the truth. His mind won’t shut up, alerting him over
and over that there’s something inside him, touching him from within his own
body (as if you’re just a puppet, his mind whispers), and the thought makes him
groan weakly, head lolling back on the pillows, exposing the arch of his neck
with every writhe.

“Y...yes,” he manages, unable to do anything without leverage, the leverage Rei
stole from him by yanking his leg up like this. All he can do is lie back and
take it, his body slowly adjusting to that intimidating fulness stretching him
in a new, thrilling, terrifying way. 

He wants to protest that it’s too much, but his eyes drop down to Rei’s cock,
and he gulps. He’s going to need a lot more preparation, probably, so he grits
his teeth, leaning into the pleasure Rei keeps fingering into him. “I...sacre
bleu, Rei, I love your voice, tell me what...tell me what you’re going to
do...to me...?”

Rei’s mouth skirts across that thudding, thrumming artery in Shu’s thigh, and
he hears himself whimper before he can stop himself. Don’t bite, don’t bite,
don’t bite, he pleads with himself, even when his breath catches hard in his
chest, a combination of Shu’s pleading, the husky rasp of his voice, and heady,
intensely delicious scent starting to make his head pound. “Fuck,” Rei mutters
distractedly, shutting his eyes briefly. “I’m gonna fuck you through the
mattress, that’s what I’m gonna do.”

A third finger takes effort,but it’s worth it to hear the way Shu’s breath
hiccups and catches, and to feel that tight, squeezing clench just around his
fingers makes his cock drip onto the sheets. “Dunno how much longer I can
wait,” he admits breathlessly. “Shu, I wanna eat you alive, my cock’s gonna
look so good in you...” 

“Do it.”

Shu is mildly impressed with the way his voice doesn’t shake at that. Maybe
it’s Rei’s easy confidence, the way he touches Shu like he knows exactly what’s
going to happen, like there’s no way for the night to end except with Rei’s
cock deep inside his ass. 

He’s not stupid. Far from it; he’ll freely admit that he considers himself the
smartest man in almost every room. Intellectually, he knows that if three
fingers feels like a brutal stretch verging on pain, Rei’s fat cock is going to
feel a thousand times bigger. It isn’t that he doesn’t know it’s going to hurt.

He just doesn’t care.

(How could it be worse than the beatings in elementary school? How could it be
worse than the practices he puts himself through, worse than countless sprained
ankles, needles driven into his fingers, scissors snipping through skin in his
haste to sew perfectly? This is something people do for fun, for God’s sake,
and it’s his best friend doing it.)

“I know you want to put it in,” he groans, grabbing at Rei’s cock again,
squeezing the head slowly. “I w-want you to.”

Rei shudders hard with that touch, the squeeze of Shu’s hand around his dick
making his eyes flutter closed. “You’re asking a lot from me,” he rasps, slowly
withdrawing his hand, and grasping for the condom he’d tossed onto the bed what
feels like an hour ago. “D’you know how hard I’m trying to be good? Fuck, Shu,
I’ve gotta be in you.” 

He tears open the condom, and he bats Shu’s hand away, his own hands shaky when
they roll it down over his cock. That doesn’t feel great, not when he’s this
turned on, this desperate to get off, and it’s only with a second’s
consideration that he flips Shu over, hikes his hips up, letting his cock slide
against the cleft of his ass, heavy and hard and now dripping into the condom.
He can’t be trusted not to bite, not when he’s this hungry in five different
directions. “If it’s too much, just tell me to stop,” he whispers, planting a
kiss against Shu’s back, sucking up a few drops of sweat as he guides his cock
to rub the head of it against that tight, slick hole, and pushes inside.

Shu is hot, and achingly, desperately tight around him, and Rei knows he’s
grabbing at those lean hips too hard, bruising when he shouldn’t, but shoving
his cock inside takes effort. “I’ve got you, relax,” he gasps, pawing a hand
around and up, rubbing over one of his nipples, pinching gently. “O-once it’s
all the way in, I promise, I’ll take such good care of you--”

Ah.

Apparently it can be worse than his old hurts, in new and rather exciting ways.

There’s simply no air in the room, none available to him, at least, when he
gasps for it, desperate and nervous and electrified all at once, Rei splitting
him open from behind with every slick rut into his body. The smell of medicine
fills his nose, but that’s such an absurdly secondary concern with the way Rei
is in him, impossibly big, so much it feels like he must be tearing, like Rei
must be ripping him open, and tears leak out of his eyes, clenched tightly
shut.

His lungs finally manage to gulp at the air, and he grabs at the sheets,
frantically spreading his legs as wide as possible to try and lessen some of
the brutal stretch, feeling as though it’s so thick and in so deep he couldn’t
physically close his legs if he tried. There’s a curious sense of delicious
helplessness about it, about the position, about the feeling, about the
fullness, that rockets up and down his spine, making him sob. Rei’s fingers on
his nipple is a welcome distraction, and Shu rubs down against it, trying to
focus on that instead of the blinding shock of Rei fucking into him. He tries,
and finally manages to breathe a little more normally, fumbling after Japanese
words. “So big,” he whimpers, face stuffed into a pillow, ass hiked up high and
stuffed full. “It’s--it’s okay, isn’t it? It’s not--” He’s got to be injured in
some way, surely Rei will tell him if there’s something wrong back there. “You-
-is it good?” Why is his own voice so weak?

Each little thrust of his hips pushes his cock deeper into Shu until there’s
nowhere else for it to go, and Rei stills for a ragged breath, skin pressed to
skin, coarse hair grinding against Shu’s ass. “Y-yeah,” he breathes, sweat
dripping down from his hairline from the effort to go slow, to be careful, and
it splatters against Shu’s back. “Yeah, god, you feel so good, Shu. You’re
being such a good boy, taking my cock. ‘s big, yeah?” 

He drags a hand down Shu’s spine, petting him, stroking all the way down to
where they’re connected, where Shu is stuffed so full that Rei frantically
wonders how Ritsu’s so good at this. “Looks like you like it, though.” He bites
his own lower lip, feels his fangs digging in, and shuts his eyes with a slow
shudder. “You’re gonna like it a lot more, just hang on.”

He lurches forward, getting a hand on the headboard, which gives him a hell of
a lot more leverage when he grinds in, then slowly rocks out, taking his sweet
time and letting Shu feel how much is really in him. When he shoves in this
time, it’s harder, enough to keep Shu shoved down to the bed, face down, ass
up, and the sound of their skin slapping together makes his cock twitch inside
of him. “Shit. You’re perfect, you’re so fucking good...” 

It would make sense for it to be Rei’s clever hands stroking away the pain,
banishing it in place of sweet-slick pleasure tingling up his back, down to
where his cock starts to swell again. It would make sense if it were the
agonizing, incredible way Rei’s cock moves inside him, making him feel good
instead of just overwhelmed.

But if it’s anything, it’s his damn voice.

That’s what makes Shu bite down a scream, teeth sinking into an embroidered,
frilly pillow with each drag of Rei inside him. It’s not even the words, it’s
the way Rei sounds so excited, so aroused, as if Shu’s body is the kind of
thing that can make a man as hot as Rei feel that good. That’s what tips him
from the balance between pleasure and pain into the former category, and makes
him feel boneless, arching back with every thrust. In this position he has more
movement, and uses it to his advantage, rutting back like a cat in heat,
desperate to make it good. “Feels good,” he forces out, trying to make coherent
phrases and barely succeeding. “S-so much in me...s’good, you’re good, I can
take it, I want it--”

“There you go, there, that’s a good boy,” Rei pants out, bending over Shu and
shoving in harder, faster when he feels Shu rutting back against him, grinding
into his thrusts instead of tensing and obviously just trying to bear it.
“Fuck, you’re good at this--taking all of it, l-like you’re made for it.”
Accentuating that particular phrase with a thrust that buries himself to the
hilt again makes him bite down on a groan, and Rei bends lower enough to bury
his face into the back of Shu’s neck, sucking on his skin, tasting sweat and
softness and--

Shit, shit, that’s blood. Rei’s fingers grip the headboard so hard that his
knuckles turn white. It’s just a dot of it from where his fangs grazed Shu’s
skin, but it’s enough to make his vision blur, a whimper sticking in his
throat. “Shu,” he helplessly moans, burying his face into his back, trembling
from the effort it takes not to bite, almost impossible when he’s so hard and
Shu feels so good when he fucks him into the mattress. “S-Shu, god...” 

There’s a different edge to Rei’s voice after that first tiny graze of teeth,
and Shu is way too far gone to have any sense, not with the way Rei is fucking
into him deep and thorough at a punishing rhythm, making him see stars, working
him into a frenzy with his voice, his hands, his thick throbbing cock buried in
deep--

Maybe Shu has always wanted this to happen, a little.

He twists until the nightshirt slips off his shoulder completely, and thrusts
it back at Rei. “You--you can. I know you want to.”

 Of course I want to, of course I do, I can’t help it, don’t tell me I can,
don’t--

“Sorry,” Rei helplessly gasps, shoving Shu down with a hand between his
shoulder blades, his cock buried in deep before he strikes, biting down hard
into the curve of his shoulder.

The taste explodes on his tongue, as delicious, as rich as Shu has ever
smelled, and Rei’s nails dig into the headboard as he comes with just one
swallow, just one more thrust, shoving in hard and sagging down against Shu’s
back. How he manages to rip his mouth away is beyond him, two gulps, maybe
three, enough to make him hungrier and more desperate, and he clamps a hand
over his own mouth, biting into his own fist as his chest heaves, tremors and
spasms of two very different kinds of orgasms leaving him dizzy and
overstimulated. 

Shu had expected more pain from the bite, honestly. He hadn’t expected the
absolute euphoria that comes with it, injected into him at the shoulder,
coursing through his bloodstream with every thud of his heart, every pump
through his veins. 

It leaves him wrung out and faint, barely conscious when he finally breathes in
again, dimly realizing he’s shaking from more than just the bite, semen
splattering his thighs hot and wet with every drag of Rei’s cock inside him. 

He slumps down, feeling his shoulder sting dully, his ass throb, his twinging
muscles spasming with every slight movement, only held up by Rei’s hands on his
hips. “Rei,” he whispers, not sure what he’s trying to convey, just needing to
say it.

Shu saying his name snaps him back into a semblance of...focused. Reality comes
back in chunks, and Rei rocks back, his eyes fluttering and glazed, his own
hand bleeding from where he bit himself to calm the fuck down. “Shu,” he
murmurs, slowly, carefully leaning down, burying his face into Shu’s hair and
pressing a kiss there. “You okay?” 

“I...have no idea,” Shu says frankly, and huffs out a laugh into his pillows.
“Nnh. I’m not damaged, I think. Though I’m a little troubled at how high my
standards have been set. Ah, pull out, will you? It’s a little...starting to
sting rather a lot...”

“Sorry, sorry.” Rei shifts, pulling out with a grimace and peeling the condom
off. He ties it off at the end before tossing it into the trashcan next to the
bed, and flops sideways, unceremoniously dragging Shu over next to him and out
of the damp spot in the middle of the mattress. “I think I’m the one that bled
all over your sheets,” he admits sheepishly. “Sorry about it.” 
 
“Next to the way my nether regions feel right now,” Shu mutters into Rei’s
shoulder, “my sheets can go to hell. They’re my great aunt Oriha’s anyway.”
 
A pang of sympathy is about the only thing that can rouse Rei from Shu’s
sinfully soft bed. “Ahh…do you want me to draw you a hot bath? The first time
is always a little…” Well, for Ritsu, it didn’t seem to be an issue, but Rei is
convinced his little brother is an actual monster.
 
Shu raises an eyebrow, though Rei probably can’t see it at this angle. “You
have a lot of practice breaking men in, hmm?”
 
“Not even a little bit,” Rei says with an easy laugh, patting Shu’s hip
lightly. “I just remember the first time I did it. Not fun. I hope I wasn’t
too…” He grimaces, and glances down to the bite marks on Shu’s shoulder.
“Yeah.”
 
Shu pulls away, unsticking himself before his mind starts reminding him how
gross he is. “Don’t feel bad about that. I asked for it, after all.” He tugs
his nightshirt back into place, standing up to stretch out. “I’m taking a
shower. Did we have a verbal agreement that we won’t tell anyone about this, or
is it simply obvious?”
 
Rei’s eyes linger on the bite again, and he fights back the urge to drag Shu
back and bite him again. “…Obvious,” he finally says, his smile a mix between
strained and relieved. “But I am sleeping in your bed for now.”
 
Shu’s mouth tightens, but he refrains from insisting that Rei shower with him
before tucking into the softness of his bed. Rei has been
somewhat...accommodating with him, today. He can afford to be somewhat the
same. “Sleep well, then. I’ll join you soon.”
 
***** Chapter 4 *****
Hakaze Kaoru slumps into the Light Music room, eyes red and mournful, wondering
if he can get away with ‘oioioio’ like some people he knows. Probably not, he
reasons with a sigh, watching the Aoi twins practicing knife juggling in the
corner. “Hey, kiddos. You all practicing hard?”
 
“Always, Hakaze-sempai! Eh...you look kinda down.” Hinata rolls back and
forward on a unicycle, calmly juggling knives. “You here to talk to Sakuma-
sempai?”
 
Kaoru forces a smile. It’s his image, after all. “He in the coffin?”
 
“He’s sleeping,” Yuuta offers up, flopping down to the ground from a one-handed
hand-stand and spinning a knife on its edge on the floor. “If you’re feeling
bad, I bet he’d let you climb in with him.”
 
Kaoru peers at the coffin, and shrugs. “Is it that big inside, you think?
Neither of us are small dudes...”
 
“We’ve both been in there with him,” Hinata says, stretching with only one limb
touching the ground. “And still had room for his ham fridge. It’s bigger than
it looks.”
 
Kaoru shrugs, then knocks on the coffin roof. “Sakuma-san?” he calls. “It’s
Kaoru, can I come in?”
 
After only a short pause, the lid to the coffin slowly parts, sliding to the
side before being shoved to the ground. Rei emerges, groggy and glazed,
blinking sleepily at Kaoru. “Ah. Kaoru-kun.” He frowns, brow furrowing, and he
immediately reaches out a hand to pet Kaoru’s hair. “You look sad, what’s
wrong?”
 
“See?” Yuuta hums, his legs kicking slowly back and forth.
 
Rei’s concern makes Kaoru’s lip tremble, and he wipes hurriedly at his face.
“S-sorry, sorry...ah, would it be okay if I, uh, came in for a minute? Just
wanna...tell you about something that happened.”
 
Oh, this won’t do. Hakaze Kaoru, upset to the point of tears? Rei’s frown
deepens, and he scoots over, patting the floor of the coffin next to him.
“Come,” he immediately says. “I’ll close the lid behind you. Keep up the good
work, my children,” he calls to the twins, stifling a yawn.
 
“Thanks, Mom!” A half-second after the call comes a muffled curse, and,
“Dammit, sorry, Sakuma-sempai!”
 
Kaoru ducks under the coffin lid, a lopsided smile ghosting across his face.
“So, Hasumi Keito is apparently smoother than I thought.”
 
Stifling a giggle over his cute, cute children is a lot easier when Kaoru is so
pathetically morose, and about something Rei really doesn’t want to hear about.
“Oh, no,” he bemoans, pulling the coffin lid firmly back into place. Just
before the inside of the coffin can become pitch black again, the little
nightlight flickers on. “There’s no way that can be true. He must have bribed
Kanzaki-kun, that’s the only explanation.”
 
Kaoru huffs out a breath, wiping his hands down his face. “Worst part is?
Hasumi was kind of nice about it. He pulled me aside and even freaking thanked
me for showing me what he was missing. Then he said he was gonna go after Souma
for real, and asked me to step aside.”
 
Kaoru shrugs, at a loss for words. “What the hell could I do?”
 
Rei breathes out a long, sympathetic sigh. It’s shocking to imagine Keito doing
something that…manly, to be honest, and of course he has to do it now, of all
times. “I’m sorry, Kaoru-kun,” he says, reaching out to pet Kaoru’s hair once
more, soothingly smoothing it down. “For Kanzaki-kun to dart back to him so
quickly…ahh, well. You deserve better, if that’s true.”
 
Kaoru shrugs again, butting his head against Rei’s hand. It’s cool and dry, and
more comforting than he’d expected. “It’s my own damn fault. Souma...” He
shakes his head, laughing at himself a little. “Kanzaki-kun, I guess. He always
wanted Hasumi. I only got him to date me by promising that it would make Hasumi
jealous. I thought he’d get over it, if I was a fun enough boyfriend. Aw, man,
I conquered my fear of dating guys for this?”
 
“Oh, Kaoru-kun,” Rei sighs, threading his fingers through Kaoru’s hair, gently
curling his fingers against his scalp. “Your standards shouldn’t be so
low…promising to make Hasumi-kun jealous, really? Think more highly of
yourself, you’re a delight.”
 
“But he’s so pretty, and I have no experience dating guys...” Kaoru thunks his
head against Rei’s shoulder, trying to swallow down the lump that makes him
want to cry again. “In my defense, I don’t think anyone thought Hasumi would
man up.”
 
“I mean…no, no, I didn’t expect him to do that,” Rei admits, curling himself
closer to Kaoru and gently smoothing a hand down his back. “But you know, there
are other pretty guys out there, Kaoru-kun, just like there are plenty of
lovely girls. I’ve never dated a girl before, but I can’t imagine it’s that
much more different than dating men…so selling yourself short can’t end well.”
 
“I thought it was a cute idea!” Kaoru protests. “You know, tell him it’s cool
if he was into someone else, as long as he gave me a chance? I told him that if
Hasumi didn’t man up in a month, he had to be mine full-time. Cute, right?”
 
“…Cute, but…” Rei hedges. “Kanzaki-kun is…well. Kaoru-kun. You know.”
 
Kaoru cocks his head to the side. “Eh? I do?”
 
“Kaoru-kun, if you didn’t go into trying to date him not understanding that
he’s a little strange…”
 
Kaoru stares at Rei, blinking slowly. “Sakuma-san, the only other guy I’ve ever
had a thing for is Shinkai Kanata.”
 
“Ah.” Rei blinks back at him. “No wonder you were unfazed. Goodness, you have a
thing for men that are already taken, don’t you.”
 
“Taken? Kanata-kun? What, does he have some kind of dolphin girlfriend? I
wouldn’t put it past him...I hope she makes him happy...”
 
“Ah…” It’s not really his place to share, but Kaoru just looks so sad. It can’t
be helped. “He,” Rei gently corrects. “And if it makes you feel any better,
they are quite happy, even if Kanata tries to eat him on a regular basis.”
 
“I’d expect something like that,” Kaoru says sadly. “Man...I thought at least
I’d be able to keep a guy. But then again, when girls break up with me, they
slap me. Souma put his head on the ground in a full dogeza, so I’m guessing
this is a step in the right direction?”
 
“Kaoru-kun, you’re hurting my heart,” Rei groans, scooting closer and squeezing
Kaoru close in a tight hug. “You deserve so much more than a lunatic samurai!
You’re such a good boy. Ahh, Hasumi-kun, what a pain, how dare he steal away
your strange little prize…”
 
“That damn fukukaichou,” Kaoru sighs, curling up nearly on Rei’s lap, thunking
his head against Rei’s chest. “He’s always around at such inconvenient times.
Man, I thought that dating someone that serious would keep me on the straight
and narrow. I’m gonna...” He swallows hard, and hot tears prick his eyes,
dammit, dammit. “I’m gonna miss that little weirdo.”
 
“Shh, shh. Do you know how many other boys—and girls—out there would love to
keep you on the straight and narrow? You’re handsome and sweet, and you’re
avoiding the terrible taste of Kanzaki-kun now, who clearly prefers high strung
nerds to a rock and roll star.” Rei’s eyes lid, and he plops his chin down
gently upon the top of Kaoru’s head. “None of this is going to be an issue when
we’re famous, you know.”
 
“It better not be,” Kaoru says wetly, the words muffled into Rei’s shirt. “I
can’t bear the thought of being single when I’m famous. Ugh, can you imagine?
Me, the chick magnet, the only one who can’t get a date?” He sniffs, laughing
at himself. “I hope you’re doing better with your boyfriend, Sakuma-san. We
can’t both be hopeless.”
 
Rei rubs a hand soothingly against Kaoru’s back, absently bringing his hand up
to toy with the ends of Kaoru’s hair. “Oh, no. Everything about my love life is
in the gutter. We’re two peas in a pod, you and I.”
 
“Isara-kun is an idiot. I know you love Trickstar, but seriously...” Kaoru
reaches up, fiddling with Rei’s hair in turn. It’s oddly soothing, both of them
giving casual touches like this. In a way, it sort of reminds him of the way he
used to be with his sister, back when they were both in the single digits. “You
deserve better. Someone cool and chill.”
 
“Kaoru-kun.” This is against his better judgement, but they’re locked in his
coffin, Kaoru is sad, and Rei can’t be held responsible for what comes out of
his mouth when he’s still in a sleep coma and his hair is being played with.
“I’m not dating Isara-kun.”
 
“He was on stage with us in the Band Ensemble, do the math.”
 
“Second year.”
 
“Class 2B.”
 
“Not in Undead.”
 
Kaoru remembers that conversation perfectly, because it honestly hadn’t made
sense. Rei, frankly, would not date Isara Mao, and has never acted as if he is.
In fact, more than once, he’s obviously forgotten about what he’d said.
 
Apparently, that’s because he’d never said it.
 
Kaoru smiles, a little hesitant, a little uncomfortable. A truth he’s always
sort of guessed niggles at his mind, until he’s finally forced to look at it.
Yikes. “Heh...that’ll show me for making assumptions, right?”
 
Ah, well, fuck. There goes hoping against hope that Kaoru has the memory of a
goldfish and a brain similar to his pomeranian. “When in doubt,” Rei says,
deciding to make a poor joke of it, so long as Kaoru isn’t wanting to run away
screaming yet, “there’s no way your love life could ever be as bad as mine.
That should be a relief, right?”
 
Know what it sounds like? It sounds like time to Change The Subject, Kaoru
thinks, which sounds way better than hearing Sakuma Rei talk in circles about
some weird too-intense relationship he may or may not be having with his little
brother. Honestly, he’s probably joking...but hey, it’s Sakuma Rei. He’s just a
little weird, just enough that Kaoru isn’t confident that this is a joke. He
forces a grin, and tugs on the ends of Rei’s long hair. “Well, then how about
we put that shit on the back burner for a little bit and focus on our demo CD,
huh? Still plenty to be done there.”
 
Ooh, Kaoru is a good boy in every direction, how wonderful. “Ah, yes, that.”
Distractedly, Rei pulls on the dangling dog tags around Kaoru’s neck. He’s
so…heterosexual, how did Kaoru ever think he could date a man? “You’ve sadly
signed on to work with a failure,” he hums. “None of my other demos ever got
past the consideration stage. I’m hoping if it’s the two of us, then maybe…”
 
“Maybe I’ll be able to keep you on a real marketable path,” Kaoru suggests,
flopping back against the coffin wall. “Keep you from getting all...weird.
Don’t pretend like I haven’t heard some of your concept demos. Why do you
always try to sneak that stuff in?”
 
“Because maybe someone will like it,” Rei laments, plopping his chin down into
one hand. “You’re right, of course, no one does, and it needs to be left out.
Just remind me from time to time that no one cares about jazz and I should
leave the techno for my beloved children.” He pauses, stretching out a foot,
scuffing his painted toenails against the plush coffin floor. “What does your
father think about all of this, by the way?”
 
Kaoru groans, letting out a huff as he flops down completely. “I heard you had
ham in a fridge,” he mutters, investigating the truth of these claims. “I’ll
help myself, thanks!”
 
“The little diced squares that you like are in a baggie in the door,” Rei
helpfully says, his eyes following Kaoru. “You would think he would be happy
that you’re heading for such a big opportunity.” Not that parents are truly
like that, but, well. Wishful thinking.
 
“He...” Kaoru shrugs. “I mean, I should be grateful that he’s not trying to
stop me at all, I guess? He just keeps telling me I’m throwing my promising
career away...as if I ever had some kind of promising career? Man, all I like
is performing and surfing, you know?” He chews slowly. “You really get the best
ham, you know? I just never get to it before Otsukare-chan and Wan-chan.”
 
“I’m just curious where the fascination with ham came from in the first place,
really.” Rei’s eyes lid, a little shrug following. “As long as he isn’t trying
to stop you, I suppose that’s fine. What does he want you to do otherwise, be a
salaryman? You’re too handsome for that.”
 
“But that’s a stable job,” Kaoru drones, flapping a hand. “Where I can provide
for my family. I mean, it’s not like he doesn’t mean well, he’s just...kind of
a dick about it, you know? Ahhh, I’m probably being ungrateful.” He props a
hand up on his chin, pouting. “The twins never have to deal with this stuff,
with a dad like you.”
 
“Mother, I’m their mother,” Rei immediately corrects, beaming. “I hatched them
from little eggs. They have their own set of problems because of that, of
course, but they work hard—and they’re just lucky that we all live so
peacefully in this clubroom together, ahaha.”
 
As if on cue, the door to the light music room bangs open, then shut again. A
moment later, a rough voice filters through the coffin walls. “Oi! Where’s that
damn vampire? I’m here for practice, yanno!”
 
Kaoru sighs. “Time to stop being lazy, I guess. Uh, for you. Not for me. I’m
gonna go hide somewhere else.”
 
“No, no no no, I’m hiding, too,” Rei whispers, immediately fastening himself to
Kaoru once more with all four limbs. “Stay like this, just for a moment, and
he’ll try to open the lid himself and then he’ll see us and think we’re doing
something perverted. Then he’ll remove himself because he’s that way.”
 
Kaoru gives him a long look, then laughs. “Might as well really freak him out,
then, right?”
 
With that, he launches himself at Rei, mouthing a kiss to his neck, working a
hand up under the hem of his shirt. “I’m like, way good at making people
jealous, I guess.”
 
“I don’t want him jealous, I want him gone,” Rei complains, even as he flops
back with a huff, and promptly grabs a handful of Kaoru’s ass. Nice. “My
apologies if he gets aggressive about this, he’s been a bad dog as of late.”
 
“Oogami-sempai,” comes Yuta’s voice, long-suffering. “The lid of that coffin’s
real heavy, so you probably shouldn’t try to pry it off when Buchou’s
sleeping…”
 
“Ha! You think it’s heavy for me, brat? I’ll show you the strength of a true
man! Gyaah!”
 
The lid comes up, and Kaoru gasps, dipping his thumb into Rei’s belly button
for effect. “Ohhh, no! Sakuma-san, hide me!”
 
Koga’s face twists, and a loud thump sounds through the coffin as he kicks it,
scowling. “Quit messing around, ya vampire bastard! We got--we got practicin’
to do!”
 
He tosses the lid on the ground, muttering to himself as he stalks into the
corner, grabbing his guitar and jamming the headphones into their jack.
 
That’s as much as Rei can hope for in terms of ‘good behavior’ regarding such a
sensitive subject, and so he merely stretches with a yawn, and then gives
Kaoru’s ass an easy slap. “Very well, very well, off you go. I suppose it is
time to be productive. Ah, let me know if you hear from any potential agents? I
gave them your number.” Because god help him, checking his phone (and letting
it be present) is his number one weakness.
 
“Don’t worry, I’m always available.” Because I don’t have a date is somewhat
implied, and Kaoru droops slightly. “It’s fine, I’ll just go stare at the water
for a while. Maybe Kanata-kun will eat me. Have a good practice! Bye, Wan-
chan!”
 
“Fuck off, chara otoko!”
 
“Love you too!” With a last peace sign and signature smile, Kaoru floats out of
the Light Music Club.
 
***** Chapter 5 *****
As per usual, the Sakuma household is empty and quiet, though Isara Mao still
knocks on the front door to be let in (like it’s going to change something).
 
He lets himself in after a moment’s pause, and he toes off his shoes before
rounding the corner of the foyer. Ritsu is home, at least, he knows that much.
He had smelled like weird machinery and grime when he finally reappeared, and
no amount of questioning had given Mao the answers he’d wanted, but at least
Ritsu had been safe and sound.
 
“Ritsu,” Mao calls, padding his way down the too-familiar hallway. They need to
replace at least four lightbulbs in half a dozen lamps, what the heck. “Ritsu,
it’s time to get up, we—“
 
The door to Rei’s bedroom is open when he walks by, and the sight of Ritsu bent
over in Rei’s closet, rummaging and sorting, greets Mao. He blinks, taking a
step back, peering into the room, and doing a doubletake to make sure that it’s
actually Ritsu, not his older brother. “Uhh…Ritsu…you’re…up?”
 
Ritsu stifles a yawn unsuccessfully, at least managing to make it seem a bit
less pathetic than usual. He’s honestly not as tired as he usually is in the
morning, which is kind of freaky, but at least Rei had warned him about it in
advance. He had also managed to eat something already, and sleep through at
least a few hours of the night, and throws Mao a smile over his shoulder.
“Maa~kun, you came and got me. Nnh, help me pack a suitcase, okay? Aniija said
to throw it out the window, but Mom and Dad won’t say anything if it’s your
stuff.” Not that they’re home anyway, but better safe than sorry.
 
“O…kay,” Mao manages, blinking a few more times as he tries to process this.
Ritsu, disappearing for days, then coming back with the incentive to get up in
the morning? That’s a new one. “You look like you’re feeling better today,” he
says instead, warily stepping into Rei’s room—boy, it’s dark in here. “What all
are we packing?”
 
“Sheet music. And Marigold’s toys. Aniija got kicked out, finally.” Sometimes
when he’s with Mao, his words towards his brother get weirdly aggressive,
without him entirely knowing why. Maybe it’s just because he only really cares
about two people, and never gets the chance to complain about them except to
the other. “I guess he’s gonna live in the Light Music Club room. He probably
thinks it’s fun, knowing him. These two suitcases are for dog toys, this one is
for music. It’s the heavy one, so Maa~kun can carry it, right?”
 
“…Why does Marigold have a whole suitcase full of toys?” Mao wearily asks,
helping to stuff half a dozen more etude books into the suitcase before sitting
on it to zip it up more easily. “Yeah, your brother, he…yeah. He mentioned
something about that. Is it really okay for him to live in the Light Music Club
room? I mean, I tried to tell him he could come stay at my house, but he just
laughed at me. Why’s he like that?”
 
Ritsu shrugs. “He’ll figure it out. He’s always like that.” Slowly, he
stretches up with another huge yawn, zipping up a suitcase before nuzzling into
Mao’s shoulder. “Maa~kun invited my gross brother to move in, hmm? Maybe you’re
trying to make me jealous, hmm? You smell good today...”
 
“I was just trying to help,” Mao immediately protests, holding Ritsu at an
arm’s length as he finishes zipping up his suitcase entirely. “Don’t be weird
about it. And I smell the same I always do, I swear.”
 
Ritsu deliberately yawns in Mao’s face, then rubs against his hand instead,
just a brief moment before returning to the last zipper. “Whatever, Maa~kun. I
hate it when you’re a good and helpful boy to people that aren’t me. They’re
gonna take advantage of you. I’m the only one allowed to do that.”

“Ritsu, you totally take advantage of me way more than you ever should--and
isn’t this your brother we’re talking about? Shouldn’t you be nicer to him?” 

“Nah.” Ritsu yawns, grabbing the handle of one suitcase, lifting it without
really thinking about how heavy it is, and dragging one full of toys, leaving
the lightest one for Mao. “Aniija likes it when I neg him. I already ate
breakfast, so don’t worry about the bread roll in your pocket. Or maybe Maa~kun
just has a bready smell today...?”

Mao opens his mouth, perplexed, and frowns as he scoops up the suitcase. “Are
you sure you don’t need me to carry one of those? They’re awfully heavy--and--
and what do you mean, you already ate breakfast? It wasn’t strawberry syrup,
was it? You’ve gotta eat more than that, c’mon.”

“I made muffins. I guess I got up kinda early? It was weird and I was hungry,
so...”

Ritsu nods at the cooling muffins on the countertop as they pass, all of them
purple-black and misshapen, with a delightful odor wafting out. “I got these.
Aniija says Maa~kun is gonna get sick of me if I make him do everything for me
all the time.” Tiny twin spots of color flare on Ritsu’s cheeks, giving him
incentive to walk faster ahead, ignoring the weight of his crazy brother’s
sheet music.

Ritsu isn’t giving him any time to remark on the state of those muffins, but it
wouldn’t be the first time that he’s made something so weird that tasted good,
so Mao shrugs it off with a long-suffering sigh. “I’m not gonna get sick of
you,” he argues, striding ahead to get the door, at least, and hold it open for
Ritsu to haul out his suitcases. “I mean, it’s nice that you’re trying and all,
but I expected today to be bad because you were, um, hiding.” That’s the word
they’ll use for Ritsu demonstrably just not wanting to be found. 

 I killed a man, Maa~kun.

No, he probably can’t say that.

Ritsu bites his tongue a bit, then decides to do what his brother had
suggested. “Mmh, I killed a man, Maa~kun. I ripped his throat open and drank
his sweet blood. Then I had to hide in a warehouse in the shipyards for a few
days because the cops were after me. There was a big shootout...”

“Telling stories like that doesn’t make me worry any less about you, you know,”
Mao protests, locking the door behind them because if he doesn’t, whoknows what
would happen to the Sakuma household. “You’re so morbid, Ritsu, what the hell.
Look, I know you and your brother are arguing a lot right now; all you had to
say was that you were upset with him again and you didn’t want to be around
school. I could’ve talked to the teachers beforehand, gotten you excused from
lessons...uggh, why do you make this so hard?” 

Ritsu winces. Mao sounds so concerned, more than usual, he thinks? Even with
Mao that he knows best of all, he’s never been good at understanding the
feelings of humans, even the two that he likes. It doesn’t come naturally to
him the way it does to other people--like his brother interacting with girls.
There’s a disconnect, and he says, a little hesitant, “I thought Maa~kun would
worry less if I’m not around being troublesome, not more.”

“If you’re not around for me to keep an eye on you, that’s bad,” Mao sighs,
reaching over to gently flick the side of Ritsu’s head. “Geez. Then I have no
idea what you’re getting up to, and if you get held back another year, that’s
really bad, because how am I supposed to take care of you then, huh?” He
frowns, glancing aside. “And I know you don’t like your brother, but I had to
ask him to help this time, and that really sucked. Believe it or not, I try to
make sure you’re less upset, not more.” 

“Maa~kun...” Ritsu brings his hand up to touch the spot Mao had touched, tears
starting to prickle hot at the back of his eyes. “Maa~kun really won’t mind
taking care of me forever, huh? Ahh, maaaan, I was trying to be better about
getting up and eating...but Maa~kun doesn’t care...he wants me to be helpless
and cute Ricchan forever, huh? Okay, then I’ll oblige, I’ll fall asleep right
here. Maa~kun can be a good helpful boy and carry me to class with all Aniija’s
suitcases.”

“S-stop it, ahh, c’mon, not right now. I can’t carry all of this!” Especially
because--holy shit, that one bag is really heavy. “How are you even carrying
this at all?” Mao asks, hefting it with a grunt of effort over his shoulder
when Ritsu just drops it in the middle of the street, and grabs Ritsu’s hand to
drag him along. “I don’t want you to be helpless. I want you to--look, it’s a
lot more fun taking care of you in other ways if you get yourself up in the
morning and can do basic, normal stuff!” 

Ritsu’s eyes narrow, then glow suddenly red, flashing in the morning light.
“Maa~kun means in dirty ways, huh?”

Mao immediately releases his hand. “I’m gonna walk you right back home unless
you remember what we talked about.” Which is, of course, that some things
aren’t appropriate for public, oh my god. 

Ritsu yawns, then stands, picking up both suitcases again without apparent
effort. “I forget stuff a lot. I’m going senile too, I guess...when it comes to
not wanting to do dirty stuff with Maa~kun I’m basically useless. I always
wanna. You coming to school?”

“Yes, I’m coming to school, and I’m gonna leave you here if you keep talking
about that kinda stuff.” He’s not blushing, he’s not. “When did you get so
strong? Don’t tell me you’re doing whatever your brother does to work out now,
it’ll be weird if you can start picking up pianos.”

Something twists, then sinks in Ritsu’s chest. Mao won’t like him if he gets
too weird. Mao deserves a normal life, doesn’t he? Mao should have someone
normal and cool, like...

Well, he doesn’t really know anyone normal and cool, but they’re probably out
there. 

“Maa~kun knows I’m a vampire,” Ritsu says sulkily, kicking at a rock on the
side of the road, dragging the heavy suitcases towards school. “Guess I got the
next stage in vampire development. Like a pupae going into a chrysalis. Or a
larvae...is that right?”

“Stop comparing yourself to bugs already,” Mao says, exasperated, and snatches
one of the suitcases back, slowly going mad watching Ritsu dragging them.
Dammit, Sakuma-san, your stuff’s too heavy. “And stop carrying stuff like that,
you’re gonna mess all his books up and he’ll start doing that weird crying
thing. Look, I don’t care what you’re turning into, just carry stuff properly
or let me do it. You look the same and sound the same, so you can’t be getting
too weird.”

“Maa~kun...is really a prince, isn’t he?” Ritsu hands over the suitcases,
stuffs his face briefly in Mao’s shoulder, then follows happily along, hand
latched to the back of Mao’s school blazer. “Does that mean he’ll turn into a
frog if I kiss him? Don’t worry, I’ll wait until we’re not in public.”

“I’m not a prince, I’m just...” Mao trails off, flustered, and stares straight
ahead as he trudges along, trailing Ritsu behind him.”You were missing for
days. I was worried. I thought something bad happened to you, and I thought
you’d be in a lot worse shape than you are right now, and I’m still pretty sure
you’re faking it to try and not stress me out, so. Answer your texts next time,
idiot.”

“But I like seeing Maa~kun’s stressed face, not just his smiling face.” Ritsu’s
voice drops, so low no one could overhear, and he walks closer. “I like every
face Maa~kun makes. Ahhh, this responsibility stuff is a pain, I’m so glad I
have Maa~kun to teach me what to do forever...”

Mao huffs, stopping short so that Ritsu walks right into his back before he
turns, scowling at him. “D’you know what you were supposed to say right then?”
he demands. “Any apology, any kind of an apology! I’ll take care of you for the
rest of your life, but you’ve gotta act like it does have a limit, Ritsu!” Too
much, that was too much, he immediately scolds himself, and by the time his
face starts turning red, he’s already dropping suitcases to grab Ritsu by the
arm so he doesn’t run off and cry and go missing for anotherweek. “Sorry--look,
I was just really worried this time, s-so--”

It would be so easy to wrench his arm away. Ritsu knows that, hates it, even as
tears start to stream down his face and his mind screams that he’s horrible,
that his parents are right and he’ll never amount to anything, that Mao would
be better off homeless or dead than saddled with a wreck like him, and only the
heat of Mao’s arm keeps him in place, far more than the gentle grip.

 I could break that grip. Then I’d never feel that warmth again.

“I...had a bad week,” he whispers, dropping the suitcase to clutch at Mao’s
blazer, unable to believe it’s still available to him, that Mao is still
willing to be by his side even when he’s the worst, the darkest, the most
depressed, the least functional. “I just...I wanna keep Maa~kun out of the
worst parts. I have to--I have to keep that smile safe. Or I w-won’t have any
safe place...”

“You’re being stupid.” Mao grabs Ritsu with both hands now, dragging him over
and shoving Ritsu’s face down into his shoulder. “You think it’s gonna make me
smile for you to go missing and not know how to help? I’d rather you crawl over
to my house in the middle of the night and wake me up and bother me for hours,
because at least then I’d know where you were.” He rubs Ritsu’s hair the wrong
way, sighing heavily, glancing around to make sure no one’s staring at them. At
least it’s still early enough that they aren’t a spectacle. “I thought I was
supposed to be your safe place,” he mutters. “If I don’t help you out, who’s
gonna? No one I know, that’s for sure.” 

“But Maa~kun is gonna get sick of me.” Ritsu knows it, knows it so well he can
tell time by the soreness that feeling leaves in his chest, every time it
occurs to him. He wants to pull away now, to run and hide and get away...

But he’d promised, at the Band Ensemble, hadn’t he? He’d promised to be more
honest, more trusting, hadn’t he?

“I’m...sorry,” he whispers, sinking down to kneel at Mao’s feet. Slowly, he
tips forward until his hands and head touch the rough concrete of the sidewalk.
“Teach me. How to be the right amount of troublesome so Maa~kun wants to keep
me forever.”

“Ahhh, Ritsu, c’mon, don’t be that kind of apologetic,” Mao protests, glancing
around frantically when they are definitely attracting stares now, and Ritsu is
apologizing like he just ruined a business meeting at a huge company or
something. “Come on, up, up, let’s go,” he encourages, crouching down to try
and tug Ritsu upright again. “Apology accepted, it’s fine, it’s fine. Be the
kind of troublesome where I have to remind you to eat lunch, not the kind of
troublesome that makes me stay up at night worrying about where you are. Okay?”
He smoothes down Ritsu’s hair, sighing heavily. “I already said I’d take care
of you as long as you want me to, so try to relax about it, you weirdo.” 

Ritsu blinks, trying not to kick something in frustration. Apologize, but don’t
apologize too much. Be troublesome, but not too troublesome. Be the kind of
troublesome that needs to be reminded about lunch, but it’s better if he gets
up and eats breakfast on his own. Rely on Mao to always be there and take care
of him, but don’t be too much of a burden. Don’t make Mao worry where he is,
but don’t tell him what was going on, because he’ll worry. 

“I’m gonna mess it up. All the time. Every day. Over and over. Because I don’t
get the rules.” That sick twisting feeling is a dull ache now, thudding in his
throat. His eyes feel as raw as if he’d been crying for days, and the way Mao
is calling him Ritsu like an adult instead of Ricchan makes him want to vomit
blood. 

And what if Mao did understand, and wanted to take care of him forever--what
would happen to his brother then? His brother, who had found him in the
warehouse, had definitely gone back to hide the body he’d left, who’d held him
and tried to keep the knowledge that he’d been kicked out secret, who looks at
him with the saddest eyes in the world? His brother, who’d admitted a dozen
times that he’d never wanted anyone else, never loved anyone else, would be
alone forever without Ritsu--how could he take Mao’s hand, and leave Rei alone
in the dark?

Best that we fade into death together, he thinks miserably, forgetting how long
they’ve been standing there, forgetting the worried look on Mao’s face, his
mood sinking lower by the second. Best that we don’t bother anyone else...we
can be alone in the dark of the grave together forever, and Maa~kun will be
able to smile.

“I’m not telling you to be perfect...ugh, Ritsu, I’m sorry, just forget it,
okay? I know you’re trying. C’mon, stand up already.” Mao pulls him up the rest
of the way to his feet, brushing off his uniform for him and straightening his
blazer. “I really am glad you got up and stuff on your own today. Just do that
kind of thing once in awhile and I’ll be happy, that’s all I’m saying. Okay?”
Mao ducks his head, trying to catch Ritsu’s eyes again, and when that doesn’t
work, when it’s so obvious that Ritsu is in his own little world, he bites down
on another sigh. “Okay? Ricchan?” 

“Maa-kun...”

I’m weak, Onii-chan, Ritsu thinks miserably, launching himself at Mao and
sobbing into his shoulder, hugging him so tightly it’s got to hurt, remembering
just barely that he shouldn’t crush Mao’s bones to powder. I need the sunshine,
sometimes, even if it hurts this much. I’m not strong enough to be alone, like
you are...I’m not friendly enough to make friends, like you have...but I won’t
leave you all alone in the dark either, I promise.

“Okay,” he chokes out, nodding, wiping his face on Mao’s blazer. “Okay. I got
it.”

Ow, ow, ow, Mao dimly thinks, wondering when and where and how Ritsu got so
strong. He sucks in a breath to bite down a complaint about it, and instead,
grabs Ritsu’s face with one of his hands to properly wipe it clean with one of
his own sleeves when he’s finally released. “Okay,” he breathes, releasing
Ritsu with a nod. He doesn’t look too worse for wear, no more pale and blotchy
than usual, so that’s fine. “Good. Then we’ve both got this, right? Let’s go
drop this off at the Light Music Club and go to class. You’re not gonna be late
one more day on my watch--don’t you still want to graduate together?”

Ritsu nods, some stupid combination of happy and wretched, the way he always
winds up feeling around Mao. “Yeah. I wanna graduate with Maa~kun more than
anything else.” And because he’s preeee~tty sure Mao won’t say no after all
that, he grabs Mao’s hand instead of his blazer, trailing happily behind him.

***** Chapter 6 *****
The door of the Light Music Club shuts, then locks, and Oogami Koga stands in
front of it, arms folded across his muscular chest. The sounds of the Aoi twins
faded “Bye, Oogami-sempai!” echo through the room with their departing
footsteps on the other side, and Sakuma Rei is still at his damned piano,
plunking away long after the bell had chimed to end club time.

“We gotta talk,” Koga half-growls, as serious as he can make himself sound.
“I’ve been tryin’ ta talk to you for days, and you been avoiding it, but I
ain’t letting ya out of here without sayin’ my piece, so listen up, ya vampire
bastard!”

Vaguely, Rei is aware that he’s being spoken to--but only in the sense that a
fish in an aquarium knows that someone is staring at it as it flops and bubbles
along. Better, far better, is the sound of a piano tuned to perfection,
maintained to his exacting standards, and letting his fingers slink along the
keys when every single chord he plucks his way through sounds so lovely and
pure or intensely dissonant is the biggest balm to his nerves in days, only
just trumping the delivery of suitcases full of sheet music and books, all of
which is still tucked away in the corner with Marigold’s toys. 

“Mm,” Rei offers up, as much of an acknowledgement as anyone’s going to get
when he’s playing, and that’s fair, he thinks. 

Well, it’s one of those Sakuma days, Koga supposes. Fine. So be it. This is
happening, whether that asshole wants to admit it or not.

He stalks over to the piano, and slams his hand down on the keys, a sudden
discordant cacophony sounding shockingly loud after the delicate plinking of
Rei’s long white fingers. “Look at me when I’m talkin’ to you!” Koga snarls,
far past the end of his patience with Rei.

Rei jumps nearly out of his skin, jerking both of his hands off of the piano
and staring up at Koga like he’d just slaughtered his firstborn. “Honestly,
Wanko,” he snaps, immediately on the defensive and with the urge to fight fire
with fire at the forefront of his mind. “What is it, did I forget to put down a
puppy pad for you?” 

“I’m not a damned puppy! I’ve been tryin’ to fucking talk t’you for days now
and you’ve been ignorin’ me, so now you’re gonna listen!”

Koga tries not to let the anger get the better of him. He’s mad, god, he’s so
angry, but only because Rei won’t fucking listen. Those damned vampire
brothers, they’re all the same... “I got somethin’ to say. It’s about that
brother of yours.”

Spitefully, Rei immediately glances away again. “There’s nothing about Ritsu
that I don’t already know, but go on, if you think yourself so well-versed on
the subject of someone so delightful.” 

Why the hell does Rei have to talk like that? Well-versed...the words rattle
off his tongue like he’s some kind of hoity-toity minister, not a fucking
eighteen-year-old kid. “You gotta let him do his own thing after you graduate,”
he says bluntly. “No one else is gonna say it. You gotta let him do his thing,
and you gotta do your thing and stop sabotagin’ yourself. I don’t care if ya
hate me for sayin’ it, but someone’s gotta.”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about.” Rei rises from the piano bench,
annoyed, and hoping it doesn’t show on his face. Has he been so wrapped up in
Ritsu lately that his distractions have shown through? That’s no good, very
troublesome, especially if it means even Koga is trying to be insightful in his
general direction. But more than anything--”And ‘sabotaging myself’--I honestly
haven’t the slightest clue what gave you that idea. Ugh,” he sighs, walking
away with a shake of his head, “where do you and Kaoru-kun keep hearing my
experimental pieces, anyway...” 

Koga slams his hand down on the piano, hoping that jeopardy to Wilhelm or
whatever Rei has named this one will keep his damned attention, if trying to
talk rationally won’t. “Ya think no one knows about you two?” he demands. Damn,
he hadn’t meant to say that out loud...but in his defense, Rei is being
reallyannoying. “I don’t give a fuck what you two do together, but if it’s
gonna mean ya go down in flames, I do give a fuck! Put a proper demo together!
Find a fucking apartment and live in it, not in the Light Music Club! Go to
class so ya can graduate!”

Rei cringes, whirling back around with grasping fingers. “Don’t--can you stop
trying to beat Wendy into submission, please? You’re so unnecessarily rough,
wanko.” His lips purse, and he withdraws his hand, folding his arms across his
chest. If he doesn’t react to the commentary about Ritsu, about what theyare,
about the current state of his life, that’s the best plan of action. What does
Koga know, really? “In your attempts to wrangle me as well, you’re also far too
rough. Stop berating me like I’m your wife, it isn’t charming.” 

“I tried talkin’ to ya three times all nice-like. First time, ya said ya
thought I had a fever an’ sent me to the nurse’s office. Second time, ya said I
was being a good quiet puppy and deserved a biscuit.” Koga bites back a snarl,
rumbling low in his chest. “Third time, ya sicced the damn twins on me. So this
is what ya get, if ya don’t wanna play nice, ya vampire bastard!”

“You’re giving me a headache.” The urge to leap out of the window with his
hands over his ears is a strong one. Instead, Rei turns away again, snatching
up a blanket from a corner and throwing himself down onto the top of his
coffin, huddling there with a frown. “I don’t know what you’re trying to
accomplish,” he sullenly says, smoothing the blanket down over his knees.
“Telling me to ‘put a proper demo together’--I’ve done that. Ordering me to get
an apartment and live in it--my, but if it were that easy. ‘Go to class so I
can graduate’--who cares, a diploma from here means nothing, anyway.”

“Kids go here for two reasons--to learn, or to get work,” Koga states, folding
his arms over his chest. No way is Rei getting out of this conversation, not
even by looking pathetic. “Lookin’ like a sad old lady ain’t gonna help you--if
ya put together a demo of half good songs and half weird shit, no one’s gonna
call ya back, obviously! So ya don’t get work. Ya don’t go to class, so you’re
not learnin’ shit. So why are you even here? I’m--I’m tryin’ to help you! You
got no oneto yell at you like this, so I’m doin’ it! Someone’s gotta care about
you more than about your little brother, yanno!”

“You’ve--you’ve made your point, so just...you can stop yelling now, you’ve got
my attention.” Ah, no, no, he’s actually the worst with confrontation if he
doesn’t get to start the fight, why does Koga have to seize the day and take
advantage of that weakness? Every word out of Koga’s mouth sounds louder than
the last, and Rei sits, stiff as a board, firmly not throwing himself out of
the window, no matter how it gets harder with every word. “I’m going to
graduate. It’s a nonissue. I--I’ve been pickier with my demos now, because
Kaoru-kun is involved. And I’d like it if you didn’t mention Ritsu anymore,
thank you, I...” Rei swallows, glancing down at his lap. “Do you know how many
apartment complexes rent to teenage idols with no real job, even if they have
savings? None.” 

“Bullshit,” Koga says bluntly. “You ain’t lookin’ hard enough. Kaoru’s folks’d
co-sign with you--my cousin’s got no savings and just a job at Family Mart,
they rented to him just fine. Learn to settle for a place that’s just okay.” 

Rei looks wrecked by this conversation, and guilt niggles at the back of Koga’s
mind. He’s pretty sure this is still the right thing to do...but if it just
sends Rei on the defensive, what good is it?

He sighs, raking a hand back through the wild mess of his hair. “Ya gotta make
somethin’ of yourself. Both of ya. So I can come join ya in a year, like we
said. I’m not givin’ up on that dream!”

“Ritsu has to move in with me, so it can’t be just okay.Kaoru-kun’s family
already doesn’t want him to be doing this, I could never ask that of him.”
Rei’s lower lip wobbles, and the horror that he’s about to cry in front of this
stupid puppy is becoming very apparent. “You’re good enough that you don’t need
me,” he miserably says. “You’re so, so talented, Koga.” Shit, shit, it’s
starting. Rei stuffs the edge of his sweater sleeve underneath his nose,
sniffling. “You could walk in and be the guitarist for any band already out
there with a name--” 

It’s fucking embarrassing how fast Koga runs to Rei’s side, grabbing at the
rough standard-issue box of tissues on the shelf, shoving it in his stupid
pretty blotchy face. “I don’t just want any damn band, and I’ve already got a
name. UNDEAD. We’re...we’re the best, ain’t we? With your music, an’ my guitar,
an’ Kaoru an’ Adonis fillin’ up the stage presence and sex appeal...we’re
unfuckingbeatable. I ain’t givin’ that up just because you’re having a moment!
I wanna get famous with all you bastards!”

And because he can’t stand it anymore, he pulls out his trump card, the
business card he’s been carrying around for most of the day, glossy and
embossed on both sides. “Call this guy if you’re serious.”

“W-what?” Rei, now with a handful of tissues, blows his nose noisily and stares
at the card, not entirely comprehending. “Koga--Koga, you’re a good boy,” he
sniffles, reaching past the business card to pat Koga’s head. He sort of
misses, ends up patting Koga’s cheek--close enough, when his eyeliner picks
today to run and make his eyes burn, god. “But I don’t call agents sight
unseen, do you know how many scams there are out there?” 

Koga tries, he tries not to lean into that touch, just like he does with every
head pat, every tug on the leash in his mind. Fuck me, I’m still weak for you,
bastard, he thinks hopelessly, and shoves the card into his hand. “It ain’t
sight unseen. I gave guitar lessons to this guy’s kid, and now she’s rockin’ a
scholarship to a music school. I sent him your demo--one I cut together from
your cool songs, not the weird bullshit you’ve been sending agents--and he
loved it. Wants to sign ya both. So dammit, don’t look a gift horse in the
mouth!”

Rei huffs, staring at the card a moment longer, flipping it over and trying not
to look as skeptical as he feels. It sounds too good to be true, but maybe
that’s his mind trying to throw its way out of windows still. “Don’t call my
other tracks weird bullshit, it hurts my feelings,” he quietly says, tucking
the card away and dabbing at his eyes with another tissue. “But...but thank
you. I’ll have Kaoru-kun call him later today.” Because the idea of one more
thing being a miss is too terrifying to think about right now. 

“Fine. Make sure you do.”

And before Koga loses his nerve, he continues, “And you don’t wanna hear it,
but someone’s gotta say it. You deserve one damn person in the world that puts
you at number one. You don’t want it to be me, but you got me anyway, ya
bastard. So quit messing around with your little brother--it ain’t that good a
secret, I can always smell him on ya--and let him have his own life.
It’s...it’s you. So ya probably think you’re makin’ it better. But he’s gotta
figure life out on his own, because ya ain’t always gonna be around. Older
brothers don’t get to be around forever.”

“I have to be.” 

Rei stares down at his lap as he bunches his tissues together, heart pounding
suddenly too-fast. Koga doesn’t understand, he can’t possibly, but the idea of
explaining any part of it is going to send him to the hospital for
palpitations. Can they even treat vampires at hospitals? He’s never had to have
that question answered, but it’s stressful, the more he thinks about it--and
none of that stress even begins to touch on the fact he’s been confessed to,
again, which he has to keep ignoring. “There isn’t anyone else,” he finally
says. “Our parents hate me--but that doesn’t mean they like him. Isara-kun
tries, but it’s not enough. You seem to think I can just step back, and someone
else will rush into pick the pieces up, but there isn’t anyone. Ritsu, he...he
doesn’t have friends. He doesn’t like his unit. He doesn’t even really like
being a model.” He spreads his hands, heaving a cynical laugh. “So go ahead,
I’m open to suggestions.” 

Koga sighs. It sucks, hearing Rei fall apart like this--but it’s not scary,
like Rei obviously seems to think it would be if anyone discovered this part of
him. Koga leans over the coffin, trying as hard as he damn can to maintain eye
contact when the shifty bastard keeps looking away. “I don’t mean ya can’t be
his number-one fan or take care of ‘im,” he mutters. “Or be the one that puts
him first in the whole world. But...he’s gotta learn to take care of himself.
And you gotta do the same. Hey, I mean, I could be wrong, what do I know? But I
don’t think ya can look me in the eye and tell me there wasn’t a part of you
that was hella relieved the whole time ya were in England an’ didn’t have to be
anyone’s best friend, dad, boyfriend, an’ fucking babysitter all in one.”

Rei’s breath hiccups threateningly again, and he nearly shoves the whole tissue
box into his mouth to keep himself silent. Stop it, he thinks in horror, unable
to imagine anything worse than sobbing and wailing in front of Oogami Koga
right now. “I can take care of myself,” he defensively settles upon when his
eyes just start watering like crazy again instead. “I can grocery shop and do
my own laundry and pay my own violin maintenance bills, thank you very much.”
Which is about all a person needs to be able to do to exist, as far as Rei is
concerned. “When I was in England, Ritsu nearly died. No part of me ever wanted
that.” 

I bet you’re wrong. I bet a part of you thinks that if he was dead, you could
live a different life. Koga doesn’t say that. That’s too much for anyone to
hear, and Rei would be right to choke him to death for it. Instead he shrugs,
and yanks out a few more tissues, throwing them at Rei’s lap to keep himself
from reaching over and dabbing at his cheeks. The worst part is that when Rei
starts listening, Koga remembers all the dumb shit about the bastard that makes
him fall in love every damn day. “Just...I’m not gonna try an’ force ya to do a
damn thing. I just wanted to let ya know that there’s someone who’s always
gonna put you first. And ya had to hear the rest of it, so it’ll stay in that
big weird brain of yours with the rest of the music.”

Rei is tempted to just stuff tissues entirely into his eyes to make the
waterworks stop, especially when his voice breaks on a gross sob and he
recoils, huddling back into his blanket. “You’re too much, y-you need to go,”
he huffs, fluttering a hand in what he hopes is a dismissive gesture. “Stop
being a good boy, I’ll just keep getting upset and this is what I get like, so
go, shoo, shoo--” 

He stops short, and the dam breaks entirely when a thought occurs to him out of
nowhere, and no number of tissues seem to be enough. “K-K-Koga,” Rei whimpers,
reaching out and grabbing his arm. “T-there’s one thing--I have to ask a f-
favor of you, I’m so sorry--” 

Put your balls in my mouth! Koga’s brain shrieks, and he squashes that thought
with the heel of his boot, only tensing a tiny bit at the chilly fingers on his
arm. “Yeah. I know. Look after the twins and your brother when you’re gone,
right? I’d’ve done that much anyway, I guess.”

“N-no, god, no, I’m t-taking all of them and putting them in my apartment,” Rei
sniffles, grabbing Koga closer and blowing his nose into the sleeve of his
blazer when tissues are just not enough for the job. “Y-you’re the only person
I can ask about this.” 

Oh, god. It’s not happening, Koga tells himself firmly, because hope is stupid,
and he’s too old for fairytales, but oh, god, oh, god, Rei is so close that all
he can do is nod dumbly, trying not to lick his lips in anticipation. “Y-yeah?”

“No one else understands like you do.” Rei hiccups, drawing back to stare up at
Koga, tear-streaked and desperate. “It’s...it’s my dog, Marigold. The school
officials...t-they found out he was here, today, and I can’t send him back
home, I just can’t, no one will love him...” 

Koga stares at Rei for a long, long minute in total silence. Then he carefully
pulls up a few tissues from the box, and shoves them in his face. “Yeah. Gimme
your dog. Fair warning, after he makes friends with me an’ Leon, he’ll never
love you the same way. What the fuck kinda name is Marigold for a proper man,
anyway?”

Rei rocks backwards, unfazed, and blows his nose again. “Thank you,” he
breathes in relief, sagging down slowly. “Be sweet, Marigold is a very manly
name. Hold on, hold on, he’s been sleeping...”

He hops off of the lid of his coffin, pushing it back, and immediately,
Marigold’s fuzzy, white face pokes out, staring blankly up at both of them. Rei
bursts into tears instantly. “Look at you,” he wails, scooping his dog up and
squishing him to his chest. “I’m going to die w-without you, Marigoooold...” 

An opportunity!

Koga immediately fills his hands with fur--yes, that’s where they belong,
perfect, Marigold might have an awful name but he’s definitely a real man--and
offers, “I mean, ya know where I live. He’ll be happy--I’ll tell my folks to
let ya in anytime to come see him. A dog...pines away to nothin’ without his
best friend, yanno.” 

“You’re such a pure soul, Koga,” Rei sniffs, wiping at his eyes with the last
of the tissues as he shakily hands Marigold over. Marigold, for his part, just
sort of lets his head loll back as he stares up at Koga, tongue out. Rei’s
lower lip trembles again, and he gives up, giving into the urge to crush both
Koga and his dog in a tight hug. “I have a suitcase f-full of toys, yes, he
needs all of them--”

“F-fine--fine, fine, he can have whatever toys he wants! I mean, I’m a firm
believer that the best toy’s a damn stick, but...” But I’ll agree to anything
if you keep hugging me, pretty much. God, Koga hates how easy it is to forget
what a loser Rei is when he’s up close, smelling good, clinging to him like
this--and what could be so bad about a man that loves his dog so much? “Don’t
worry. He’ll be with a good pack.”

“He has limited edition toys, don’t give him a stick,” Rei huffs, thunking his
head against Koga’s shoulder and taking that opportunity to wipe his nose
again. “I’ll get you the name of his groomer, he has a schedule, just s-save
the receipts and I’ll pay for it...” 

That definitely sounds like something Koga isn’t going to do--what the hell
does a dog need with a groomer? Koga gets by just fine with a hose and the
occasional knife cut to his hair--but he nods anyway, pulling away and making a
face. “Thanks for gettin’ snot all over my blazer. Gimme the dog, I gotta take
him home. He can meet Leon and learn how to be a real proper man.”

Rei nods, bleary-eyed as he thrusts Marigold into Koga’s arms and trudges away
to retrieve the suitcase in question. “Here,” he sniffles. “Just--just take him
before I change my mind.” 

***** Chapter 7 *****
Hospitals smell like Tenshouin Eichi—pale and sickly and far-removed from
reality. Once, Wataru had told him that he liked hospitals, and it had been one
of the few things that Rei had refused to comprehend, no matter how many times
Wataru had insisted even the ill could be deliciously fragrant.
 
The bright, fluorescent lights make him see after-images, and the shiver that
goes down Rei’s spine when he passes through the waiting room with a kid that
needs stitches from a gash in his arm makes him feel sick. Now isn’t the time
to think about being hungry.
 
Now is the time to only think of the frantic phone call that Isara Mao had
woken him up with, entirely in tears, explaining something about an overzealous
fan after a Knights photoshoot, how he should have picked Ritsu up earlier, how
now their parents won’t even let Mao see him in the hospital, so Rei has to go.
“Why weren’t you there?”Mao had demanded as well, and any explanation—coaching
myself through an interview for a record deal, writing a few last minute pieces
if I get asked about it, sorting through sheet music, talking to Kaoru-kun
about apartments—just makes Rei feel guilty and tired. What time of day is it,
anyway?
 
“Sakuma Ritsu? Ah…my apologies, sir, but you’re not on the list of visitors.”
 
Rei blinks, frowning. “That can’t be right. He’s my little brother.”
 
The woman shakes her head apologetically. “You’re not on the list.”
 
Rei’s fingers tremble when he digs his hand into his pocket for his cellphone,
and he steps away from the counter, dialing his father’s number in a fugue
state. The familiar ring sounds just down the hallway, and he hangs up, turning
just in time to see that their father is there, prodding his own phone to
silent. “Dad—“
 
“We’re not doing this here.”
 
Rei sidesteps the barrier, much to the distress of the nice lady at the
counter. “You can’t stop me from seeing him when he’s in the hospital—“ Arguing
about this would be a whole lot more convincing if their dad didn’t look like
he stepped out of some business meeting, and he didn’t look like he rolled out
of bed ten minutes ago (which he did).
 
“I can, and I will. And if you see that other little ‘friend’ of his, make sure
he knows we’re serious about pressing charges if he comes around again.”
 
Getting a word in edgewise with his parents is nigh impossible, because they’re
faster at running away than even he is. By the time Rei opens his mouth to
protest, his father is already gone, slamming the door to an exam room shut in
his face, not even letting him get a glimpse of Ritsu in the process.
 
Not half an hour after he arrives, Hakaze Kaoru runs into the hospital lobby,
red-faced and panting from the long run. His eyes are wild, and he looks around
before finally sighting Rei, hurrying to his side. “Do you...know...how
hard...it was...to find you...when you don’t...have a phone?” he gasps, bending
over to lean on his knees, wheezing. “I had to call...basically everyone...I
know...and that’s a lot of people, Sakuma-san...”
 
Rei, folded up in the waiting room, frowns. Wrangling a silent war against his
parents is one thing—they’re too afraid to actually deal with his presence to
even walk through the waiting room to escape, and by virtue of being quiet and
polite, he hasn’t been asked to leave yet. Kaoru showing up out of the blue,
that’s…something else entirely. “Kaoru-kun—this isn’t really…” Something you
should be dealing with, something you should even know about.
 
Kaoru stares at Rei, wiping the sweat from his brow. “Did you forget what today
is? Ah, you look like hell, I’m not trying to be a dick about it--I hope your
brother is okay, but you’ve got to call me when something happens on a big day,
borrow a phone or something! I looked really stupid and amateurish insisting
that we could still sign the contract because you definitely wouldn’t
forget...”
 
Shit. It feels like his heart drops down into his stomach. Admitting that he
did forget—Rei forgets everything, when Ritsu comes into the equation—would
definitely make this a dozen times worse, but Kaoru deserves more than a weak
excuse. It’s a shame that he doesn’t have anything else to offer beyond that.
“Sorry,” he hears himself whisper. “I…” I meant to call—that’s a lie. I got
distracted—that’s also a lie, because it wasn’t even on his radar. Rei
swallows, glancing aside, catching the tiniest glimpse of the way his father
continues their stalemate by opening the door to Ritsu’s room, staring out of
it, and then shutting the door in his face again. “What time is it?” He doesn’t
even know that much, so help him. “I’ll go now, if we still can.”
 
Kaoru flops sideways onto the couch, stretching out the tension in his neck as
best as he can. “I begged them to let me try and find you, and finally got hold
of Isara-kun, who said your brother was in the hospital. One of our guys works
with Knights in the modeling section, so he knew him...” Kaoru sighs, tugging
at his collar, soaked with sweat. “We’re rescheduling for Friday. I mean, they
said we were, but we have to wait for a call from them to make sure they can
fit us in. Is Ritsu-kun okay?”
 
“I don’t know.”
 
No, no, now isn’t the time to start sounding this pathetic. This isn’t the way
Rei wants Hakaze Kaoru to see him. They’ve had a good run so far, with Kaoru
only viewing him at the best, most opportune times, as the strange, but capable
leader of UNDEAD, as the friend he can come to advice for—even slightly
scatterbrained is fine, because Rei has always provided results, arriving at
their Lives full of energy, or at their practices, a stack of new material in
hand. But when it comes to Ritsu—Ritsu ruins him, leaves him a soggy, slumpy
mess of sweatpants and sweaters on a hospital waiting room couch, a knee drawn
up to his chest as he tries not to start crying in public.
 
Rei chokes down the lump in his throat, and stuffs the long sleeve of his
sweater against his mouth for a moment, breathing in deep through his nose to
try and gather his wits about him again. “Our parents won’t let me in to see
him,” he says, his voice only cracking some. “They’re in with him, right now.”
 
Well, this is certainly different than any way he’s ever seen Rei, and Kaoru
grimaces. If someone like Rei, who’s probably one of the biggest candidates for
“fake it till you make it” Kaoru has ever seen, is okay with being seen like
this...then it must be a huge deal.
 
Hesitantly, he scoots closer, and tugs gently on Rei’s hair. “If they’re
letting people in, he’s probably stable at least,” he says in what he hopes is
a reassuring tone. “So that’s good, right? Don’t worry about the contract, I’m
real good at smoothing things over between people. Man, now I feel bad for all
the times I’ve bitched to you about my dad, if yours is like this...”
 
Rei frantically weighs his options. Start bawling like a baby, or jump out of
the nearest window? The latter seems kinder to everyone involved. Kaoru is
being so nice, so calm, so forgiving that the urge to flop down to the floor
and apologize is even stronger, somehow. I could have ruined everything, you
should be furious with me! he wants to scream, his fist trembling against his
mouth. Because even if I had remembered, I know I still would have been here,
trying to be here with Ritsu, instead of trying to sign a contract that could
fix everything.
 
“T-they think it’s my fault.” Fuck. Here he goes. Rei blinks once, and the
tears start. He hurriedly scrubs at his face, but it does no good, he knows it
doesn’t. He hiccups, staring down at the floor. “Isara-kun’s, t-too. They just
keep trying to t-take things from him, it’s not fair. I d-don’t know how to fix
it.”
 
Oh, jeez. Kaoru’s chest hurts in sympathy, and he does the only thing he knows
how to do--well, he’d know how if Rei were a pretty girl, but he’s got nice
long hair and a pretty face, so close enough. He reaches out and puts an arm
around Rei’s shoulders, tugging him close, and pets that soft, sleek black
hair. “You’re the one who told me not to judge myself by my parents’ opinion of
me,” he reminds Rei, squeezing him. “We’re gonna make this work, you know?
We’re gonna get our contract and finish up decorating the apartment, and then
Ritsu-kun’s gonna have his safe place to go. I mean, if anyone is gonna protect
him, we all know it’s gonna be you, you know? And if your parents seriously
think that Isara-kun is a bad influence, they’re obviously way out of touch.”
 
If there was any hope of calming down and clamming up, it’s gone now. Stop
being nice, stop saying nice things, stop it,Rei desperately wants to plead,
because it just makes the tears come faster, streaking hot and wet down his
face. If he gets gross and snotty all over Kaoru, that’s the last straw, and he
refuses, absolutely refuses, so shoving his sweater sleeves over his face is
the only option. “T-they’re going to figure out a way to keep me away from
him,” he says, voice muffled but certain behind his sleeves. “They already
kicked me out, they can already s-stop me from seeing him in a hospital. My
dad’s in charge of laws and logistics for a fucking electronics company, he can
figure out how to keep his stupid kid away from his other stupid kid.”
 
Kaoru frowns. It’s the hopelessness he hates hearing, so he pats Rei’s
shoulder, then stands, walking over to a little group of nurses about to change
shifts. Five minutes, two phone numbers, and three touches to his shoulder with
Stooop, what a bad boy!, he comes back, flopping down next to Rei. “He should
be out tomorrow,” he says, looking very pleased with himself. “They only want
to keep him tonight because he might have a concussion. Apparently he’s been
asking for you.”
 
“W…wha…” Rei blinks up at him, bleary-eyed and blotchy-faced, before his face
contorts again, and he stuffs the handful of tissues he’s procured up against
it with a sob. “K-Kaoru-kun—t-thank you, I’m sorry I-I’m like this, y-you don’t
have to stay, but thank you…”
 
Kaoru laughs, and shakes out his sweaty hair. “Where’m I gonna go? If I
reorganize the apartment, you’ll just ‘fix’ it later, you know? No worries, if
you need any other info, Chika-chan said I can text her. I’ll see if she can
sneak him in a phone tonight or something. It’s not prison, you know?”
 
Rei nods numbly, his hair flopping over his face. Kaoru makes it sound so easy.
Nothing about his family has ever been easy, and situations like this are
certainly never supposed to be easy, so how does he do that? He cranes his head
around, trying to get another glimpse down the hallway, but his parents aren’t
glaring at him from Ritsu’s room now, and the curtains are pulled shut.
“…Should I just…should I just go, then?” he anxiously asks, sniffling and
wiping at his nose. “If I leave, they’ll think they’ve won, won’t they? I d-
didn’t mean for this to be a fight, I swear I didn’t…”
 
“It’s not about winning, right? It’s about less tension while Ritsu-kun heals
up.” Kaoru stands, and tugs Rei by the sleeve. “Come on, Sakuma-san. Let’s
stake out the hospital from my car, and we’ll flirt our way in when your
parents leave--which they probably will as soon as they see we’re gone.”
 
Rei has no choice but to just…nod again, slowly climbing to his feet and
stumbling after Kaoru. “D-don’t grab my sleeve, they’re snotty and gross,” he
sniffs, waiting until he’s at least out of the waiting room to blow his nose
properly. “Kaoru-kun…Kaoru-kun, you r-really don’t have to do all of this, you
can go…”
 
“What the heck kind of friend would leave you in this state? Come on, Sakuma-
san, you’re a mess,” Kaoru chides gently. “You gotta clean yourself up before
Ritsu-kun sees you, or he’ll never call you a cool big brother again.”
 
Which, consequently, makes Rei burst into tears all over again. “H-h-he never
calls me cool,” he sobs, entirely done now that he’s moving and unable to reel
some of it in by turning himself into a blob on a piece of furniture. “R-ritsu
hatesme, he j…just thinks I’m gross, and a bug, and h-he’s right, I’m the
worst…”
 
“Right, right, but we’re walking,” Kaoru agrees, patting Rei’s head as he half-
drags him through the hospital hallway. “You really need to eat more, you know?
I’d swear you’re all bones, but I know it’s a lie...”
 
Getting Rei into his car takes more effort, but he manages it somehow, and
cranks down the top of the convertible. “It’s okay since it’s nighttime,
right?”
 
Rei reflexively nods, flopping down and blowing his nose again into his soggy
pile of tissues. “‘m sorry,” he says again, muffled by his sniffling and nose-
blowing. “K…Kaoru-kun…I never w-wanted you to see me like this.” Once he
starts, he can’t really stop, so here he goes. “N-now you know you’re signing
on to work with someone like this, a gross bug.”
 
Kaoru gives him a serious look, amused. “You think I ever believed the fake
hype? I know what a persona looks like, Sakuma-san. I think it’s good you care
about your little brother so much.”
 
“S-stop it, stop it!” Rei wails, flopping a hand as he tries to scrub his eyes
dry with the other. “You keep s-saying things and m…making me want to cry more,
it’s t-the worst.”
 
“But crying lets out the bad emotions to make room for the good ones, right?”
Kaoru pats Rei’s shoulder, then squeezes it. “So it’s okay. You’ve been my
comfort before, let me return the favor. Oh, shit, are those your folks? Duck!”
 
Rei opens his mouth to let Kaoru know he cries all the time, and there are
still a lot of bad emotions, so what does that say about him? But instead, he
slithers down into his seat, huddling down into it, hoping Kaoru’s right and
that his parents really are shitty enough to just leave the second he did. “C-
can’t believe you were right about this,” he huffs out in a whisper. “No. Yes.
I can. Damn it.”
 
“Figured they would, if they were like you say,” Kaoru mutters under his
breath, slumped down so far he hopes the car looks empty. After a long moment,
he hears a door open, then close, then a motor start up. After the car pulls
away, he cautiously raises his head. “Heh, see? Like clockwork or something!”
 
Beggers can’t be choosers, and even if it makes Rei more upset by the second to
think about his parents walking away the second they don’t have to compete with
him, relief washes over him all the same. “Good,” he sighs, shutting his eyes
as he tries to compose himself, breathing in deep. “Good. Right. At least
they’re gone now.”
 
“Now, let’s go say hi to your little brother.”
 
Flirting their way inside is the work of an easy twenty seconds. The hardest
part is keeping Rei from trying to dash ahead before the nurses are warmed up
to him, waiting until the coast is clear before they finally sneak into the
private room.
 
Ritsu is still awake, staring out the window, but he looks up at the sound of
the door opening, eyes lighting up. There’s a huge purpling bruise on the side
of his face forcing one eye shut, and one of his legs is in a cast, but he
tries to lurch up all the same, breathing, “Onii--Aniija! You came!”
 
Rei immediately darts over, so zeroed in on Ritsu that forgetting Kaoru is even
in the room happens in less than a second. “Sorry, I’m sorry,” he automatically
apologizes, wavering between sitting on the edge of Ritsu’s bed or pulling up a
chair, unable to decide, and ultimately just lingers, reaching for Ritsu’s
hand. “I—I’ve been here for hours, but Mom and Dad wouldn’t let me see you, so
I had to wait…” Don’t start crying again, he scolds himself, and he swallows
hard. “Ritsu, I’m so sorry.” What does he say now—I should’ve been there?
That’s too obvious, too obnoxious.
 
Ritsu lets out a huff, then lets his head rest back on the pillow, squeezing
Rei’s hand. “Don’t be weird about it, they suck and you’re here now. Hey, how’s
the apartment coming?”
 
Kaoru covers a snort, then ducks outside, opting to give the two brothers a
private moment together.
 
“We signed the lease yesterday,” Rei weakly says, legs wobbling until he
finally has to plop down onto the edge of the bed. Not that he’s even seen the
apartment in question, but whatever. “So that’s something. Hey, who do I need
to kill? Besides Isara-kun, who could’ve done a far better job looking out for
you.” That’s not even fair, but he really doesn’t care right now.
 
Something hurt and ugly flashes in Ritsu’s face, and he yanks his hand back.
“If you’re going to talk bad about Maa-kun, you get out,” he says flatly. “I
heard enough of that from Mom and Dad--I don’t care what they told you, I’d
rather live on the street than with you if you believe them.”
 
“They haven’t told me anything. Just—tell me who I’m supposed to be upset with,
because this—“ A shaky flutter of his hand follows. “Isn’t good. Why aren’t you
healing faster, this is no good at all—here—“ Rei yanks up one sleeve, offering
up his wrist. “I can’t stand the sight of you hurt like this. Even if it just
speeds up the process a little…”
 
Ritsu’s eyes sharpen on the pulse of blood through his brother’s vein, and he
wrenches his eyes away with a shudder. “Maa-kun didn’t do anything wrong. We
were gonna go to the arcade, all the Knights and Trickstar stuff is in the
local idol one on the third floor, but I forgot where we were meeting and then
this...happened. All Mom and Dad heard was I was supposed to be meeting him.
Now they won’t let me see him. So you’d better make that place livable, because
I’m moving out of our house on September 22nd whether you’re ready or not.”
 
At least Mao is as little to blame in this as Rei had hoped. He shuts his eyes,
nodding, and slinks a little bit further onto the bed. “I promise it’ll be
fine,” he says, refusing to withdraw his arm. “Mom and Dad probably won’t hold
true to keeping you away from Isara-kun, either.” They’ll get sick of trying to
wake Ritsu up pretty damn quickly, is Rei’s guess. “Come on, Ritsu, just take
one little drink…”
 
Ritsu’s nostrils flare, but he shakes his head, looking away. “I’m trying...not
to do it anymore. For Maa-kun.”
 
“That’s not how it works, Ritsu.” Ah, there’s that delightful pang of guilt
again, which leads to his already raw eyes burning anew. Rei’s fingers curl,
and he wavers before he edges closer. “You’ll die. We’re vampires, there’s no
way around it.”
 
“But...” Ritsu’s eyes fill, and his hands twist in the bedsheets. “You said it
was easy to go back to starving. I’m trying really hard--everything is gonna be
harder on Maa-kun if I don’t.”
 
Easy wasn’t the word he’d used, Rei is pretty sure, but now he’s not entirely
convinced he didn’t say something stupid while trying to comfort Ritsu. “You
still have to drink something once in awhile, and you’re hurt. Isara-kun would
understand. I’m not telling you to go kill someone, I’m just offering my own—as
much as you want, it’s fine, I promise.”
 
It’s so easy to waver.
 
Ritsu feels his fangs prick out almost immediately, just at the tiniest hint of
the thought of blood, and he finally nods. “Don’t enable this kind of behavior
too often,” he warns, grabbing Rei’s arm and pulling it to his mouth. “I did
fine just drinking from you for like four years before England.” With that, he
sinks in his fangs--he’s been wanting a reason to--and drinks, pleasure
shuddering through him at the first touch of the stuff to his lips.
 
When Ritsu’s thirsty, he drinks more than is responsible, definitely. Rei can
feel it in the way his head pounds, the sudden loss of blood making him sag
forward, bracing his other hand against the bed as he shudders dizzily.
“…E…easy,” he rasps, tugging back on his arm gently. “If it’s a whole lot,
you’ll heal too fast, and they’ll think it’s weird…”
 
The bruise on his face already doesn’t throb as much, and that relief feels so
good that Ritsu has trouble pulling his fangs out for a long, shaky moment.
Finally he manages it, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand, reaching up to
tug Rei down to the bed with him. “Rest. Sorry. I really am a bad kid, Onii-
chan.”
 
“No, no no, you’re not, shh.” Rei, decidedly light-headed, now
absolutelystarving, does a pretty bad job of fighting against Ritsu’s tug, and
flops his way down with a groan. “I’m not supposed to be here, Ritsu—I can’t
stay, I want to, but I can’t.”
 
“They’re not coming back,” Ritsu insists. “They’re not coming back until
morning, you can keep me comfortable a little longer...right?” He nuzzles
against Rei’s hand, looking up with big sad eyes, both of which are open now.
“Hospitals smell bad.”
 
Rei relents in an instant, though there’s one, niggling thing in the back of
his mind. “I know. I’ll stay until visitor hours are over. Let me tell Kaoru-
kun so I don’t keep him waiting, okay?” He forces himself up and off the bed,
and prides himself for not falling over. Whoo. He’s got this.
 
Ritsu subsides back onto the bed, drowsiness stealing over him now that he
isn’t in intense pain anymore. “Okay. He’s a cool dude, Onii-chan. I’m glad you
picked him to live with.”
 
“Go to sleep. I’ll let him know you think he’s cool,” Rei reassures him, and
quietly closes the door shut behind himself.
 
Sharp, intense hunger hits him in the face like a brick. The floor suddenly
looks a lot closer, and Rei catches himself against the doorframe as his legs
threaten to buckle—or maybe they do buckle, whatever. Nope, he has definitely
got this, hopefully smoothly enough that no one noticed. “Kaoru-kun,” he
begins, straightening himself with a deep breath. “Ritsu wants me to stay for a
little while, so you don’t need to stay.”
 
Kaoru is at his side in a second, trying to nail the “supportive, not
concerned” look. “Hey, you okay? You look kinda pale...I get it, my big brother
is that way in hospitals. I know you wanna take care of him, but make sure
you’re taking care of yourself too, you know?”
 
“No, no, it’s fine, I’m fine.” You smell very, very good, Rei thinks, and
desperately tries not to fixate. Oh, boy, it was the wrong decision to let
Ritsu drink, wasn’t it? “I’m just—going to grab a drink, and then camp out for
a little while longer.”
 
Kaoru looks from Rei to the closed door, then wraps a firm arm around Rei.
“Nope, bad idea. You need to actually rest. How much good are you gonna be to
him if you fall down, huh? Executive decision, we’re going home.” Heh, weird
that ‘home’ is home for both of them, and not his parents’ house for once.

Rei blinks at Kaoru--more than that, keeps smelling him, because he can’t help
it.     The thrum of Kaoru’s blood thumps easy and even, distractedly languid.
“But I told him I was staying until visitors hours were over...” He cranes his
neck back, peering through the blinds on the door, and Ritsu, predictably, is
already passed out, drooling on his pillow. “I mean...” he hedges. “I guess he
won’t notice if I leave...” 

“And it’s better to leave now than to be here when your folks show up in the
morning, isn’t it?” Kaoru wheedles, using his best Gentle Flirting Voice
(number 4) to carefully steer Rei out of the hospital and into his car. “Come
on, you want him to see his big cool strong brother at his best, right?”

“I...right, you’re right.” Somehow, in the process of this, they end up back
outside. Fresh air should be good for him, but it just makes him hungrier, and
Rei contemplates how easy it would be to snag a few blood bags before they
leave. How does Wataru do that, anyway? “Thank you,” he says instead, resigned,
trying not to stare longingly at the arc of Kaoru’s neck when he’s deposited
back into his convertible. “I didn’t know you had such a nice car.” 

“Ehh? I didn’t show you my baby yet?” Scandalized, Kaoru runs a hand over the
car’s sleek red curves, then pats them before getting in. “Isn’t she gorgeous?
Graduation present from my dad. Besides the whole co-signing on our apartment
thing. Man...I’m starting to think I really was too hard on him.” It’s always
easier for Rei to hear about someone else’s issues, he knows, than to deal with
his own in the slightest.

“He did buy you a car, in Tokyo,” Rei wryly says, slinking down into the seat
and shutting his eyes. Normal conversations, yeees, he can do this. “And he did
co-sign on our apartment--which I haven’t even seen. Please understand how much
trust I have in your judgement.”

“You’ll love it,” Kaoru enthuses, starting up the car and backing slowly and
carefully out of the driveway, as if he’s driving around a whole orphanage of
babies whose soft spots haven’t hardened over yet. This car, as his father had
impressed upon him, is expensive. “It’s right on the JR line, 2LDK, elevator in
building, nice neutral-dark walls, we can totally afford the rent--and the best
part for you is, we got a huge discount because of a design flaw. One of the
bedrooms doesn’t have windows.”

“Ohh, there is a god.” Speaking of which, even the street lights and their
glare are too much when he’s this close to starving. Honestly, Kaoru shouldn’t
have to put up with that level of bullshit, so Rei just settles for burying his
face down into one hand to shield himself. “You have amazing taste, you’re
right. I can’t wait to live in a proper nest. Ah, getting my coffin into it
should be interesting...” 

“Can’t you have it disassembled, then put back together in the room?” Kaoru
stops at the first hint of every yellow, making the twenty-minute drive more
like thirty--but the car is safe.

Rei shivers at the idea. “It’s a custom build. You’ve been in it, taking it
apart would destroy the artistry. Kaoru-kun, you drive like an old woman.” 

“But with a fresh pair of eyes,” Kaoru says proudly. “Drive slow, arrive alive,
you know? Also, then no one will get mad and key my baby. This thing is a total
chick magnet, you know? For picking up girls for dates.”

“Kaoru-kun, I’m gay, not an idiot. I know what a chick magnet is.”

“You look real confused sometimes when I talk about girls, Sakuma-san.”

“Only because I genuinely have no idea why anyone would want to bother, or what
I’m supposed to do with them.” 

Kaoru sighs, pulling into their designated parking spot, then securing the
theft prevention bars on all sides of the car, dragging the protective cover
over the whole thing. “It’s okay, I’ll be the one in charge of continuing the
human race. I mean, you’re a big scary vampire, right? So that wouldn’t work
anyway.” Because Kaoru totally believes that, of course.

“I actually have no idea if vampires can reproduce like normal humans...” Rei
muses, wobbling on his feet little, but at least he feels a bit more clear-
headed than before. Kaoru still smells maddeningly good, and he slinks closer
automatically, latching himself to Kaoru’s arm. Even if he can’t bite, he can
still enjoy through osmosis, maybe. “Lead the way, Chick Magnet-san.”

Kaoru pulls out their shiny new key, letting them into the new apartment. “Home
sweet home, yeah? Super cool, right? Eh?”

His toe stubs before he can turn the light on, and he fumbles for the light
switch. There’s a wooden crate in the middle of the floor with Rei’s name
scrawled on it in familiar (to Rei) calligraphy, and Kaoru stares at it in
confusion. “The super must have left it here,” he says, suspiciously. “I swear
it wasn’t here when I left, and the door was locked...”

The smell hits Rei in the face before the lights flip on, and he releases Kaoru
as he lurches forward, unthinking and delighted. “Ah! Wataru must have brought
it in!” he excitedly says, dropping down next to the crate and prying open the
nailed-shut latch with his bare fingers. The sight that greets him doesn’t
disappoint--at least half a dozen bags of blood, all type AB or B (the best
kind, the only kind that doesn’t make him feel ill). “I’m not going to die,” he
happily sighs, flopping over the crate. “Wataru, my angel...” 

Kaoru stares at the bags, then breaks out into giggles. “Did he seriously
package up tomato juice like it’s blood?” he asks, reaching for support from
the wall before he has to sit down. “Oh my god, your friends are weird, Sakuma-
san!”

“They’re the best,” Rei agrees, and unable to stop himself, he immediately
snatches up one of the bags and stabs it with one of the provided sippy straws
(Wataru really thinks of everything) to just start drinking it where he kneels
on the floor. It’s not the same as drinking it fresh, but he doesn’t have that
luxury right now. “I take back everything I’ve ever said about Wataru being a
traitor,” he blissfully says, draining half of the first bag in record timing,
feeling the warmth of it spread through his body and taking an axe to the
hunger pains that have been wracking him for weeks. “He still loves me, that’s
all that matters.”

Kaoru raises an eyebrow, then shrugs, turning away to start unpacking kitchen
boxes. “As long as you’re happy. Ah, it’s good to see some more color in your
cheeks, Sakuma-san. You were looking seriously pale back there. Like, paler
than usual, even for you.”

“I haven’t eaten properly in the last few weeks...no time for it,” Rei says
with a distracted hand flutter, finishing up the first bag of blood and
debating on the second. He selects one, stabs the straw into it, and climbs to
his feet, swaying once as he adjusts to life as a vaguely normally-functioning
creature. “But this is an unexpected treat,” he sighs, drifting through the
living room, then into the kitchen, taking another sip from his blood bag.
“Ahh, Kaoru-kun, you did a good job...”

“Yeah, I actually really like decorating,” Kaoru says, humming to himself a
little. “There’s still a lot more to do, obviously, but it’s getting there.
Wanna see your room?”

“Please.” Ritsu is going to be thrilled if it’s really windowless. “This is so
much room...maybe my coffin will fit after all, I won’t have to downsize, I can
keep the ham fridge...” 

Kaoru opens the door to the weird dark room, plugging in the nightlight he’d
gotten for Rei to get used to. “Not bad, right? Oh, and I checked, and we’re
allowed to have a dog as long as it’s under 10 kilos. Koga should be bringing
Marigold over tomorrow. Cool, right?”

The nightlight Rei will be sure to get rid of when Kaoru isn’t paying
attention, but ahh, this is as close to perfection as he could have imagined, a
spacious, dark room minus windows entirely--and then there’s the information
about his dog, which makes him suck up a mouthful of blood too fast and have it
come out of his nose. “R-really?” he breathes, wiping his nose hurriedly with
his sleeve. “Kaoru-kun--” No, don’t cry at him, be normal for five minutes, how
stupid are you? Rei sniffles all the same, rocking back onto his heels. “You
really...you really thought of everything, didn’t you.” 

Kaoru gives him a firm pat on the back, trying not to smile too much. “You’re
real cute when you’re happy.” Whoops, that just slipped out, and he feels his
face flush, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Heh...ah, you go ahead and do
whatever, I’m just gonna...check my phone, I probably have lots of texts from
girls who want to date me.”

“They would be stupid not to.” That sure did just come right out, didn’t it.
Rei opens his mouth, then shuts it as he glances aside, awkwardly taking
another sip from his blood bag. Is it annoying or distracting (or both) that
Kaoru still smells good even after he’s had something proper to eat? “I’ve
probably ruined your plans with them for the evening. My apologies.” 

“I got lots of other evenings in the future. I’d...” Kaoru laughs at himself a
little, turning away so Rei doesn’t see his face getting steadily redder. “I’d
kinda rather spend the night setting up with you, partner. It’s been a long
day, I need some peace and quiet.”

Partner.Oh, no, he’s returning the word-favor and everything. Rei sucks in a
slow breath, then shrugs to himself, giving into the screaming impulse of his
mind when he reaches out, catching Kaoru by the arm as he slides up behind him,
hooking his chin over his shoulder. “Today would have been much, much worse
without you handling so many things,” he quietly says, shoving his face into
the side of Kaoru’s neck. Now that he’s not starving, he can justappreciate.
“Thank you.” 

Cute!! Kaoru’s mind screams, disregarding the fact that Sakuma Rei is
definitely a dude, definitely tall and strong and weird and mopey and none of
the things he usually finds cute or attractive.

Then again, Kaoru has felt the way Rei kisses. Hell, he hasn’t been able to
forget it. That had stuck in his mind even more than the blowjob, because
frankly, he’s just never been kissed like that, by someone who more than knows
what he’s doing. “It’s...been a long day,” he admits, and tries to turn to give
Rei a squeeze.

His hands move on their own, it seems, and maybe the hunger in him is stronger
than he’d thought, because the next second he’s got Rei shoved up against one
of their brand new dark-neutral walls, tongue sliding past his red-tinged lips.

Rei’s instincts about this, at least, are rarely wrong.

The mostly-empty bag of blood hits the floor--he’ll deal with that later--and
the relief that follows when he can sink his fingers into Kaoru’s hair is so
strong that his knees nearly buckle. When was the last time someone shoved him
into a wall, huh? Never, his mind cheerfully reminds him, and it makes him
groan when he kisses Kaoru back, sucking on the tongue that’s shoved into his
mouth. 

The sudden stark taste of blood is a surprise, but a dim one. Kaoru ignores it-
-must have nicked his tongue with my teeth, he rationalizes, and uses that
opportunity to groan, grabbing both of Rei’s wrists and pinning them above his
head, letting out just a little of the frustration, the hunger that’s been
plaguing him since their first kiss months ago.

He steps forward, bringing a thigh up between Rei’s knees, holding him in place
with his entire body. There’s no reason to keep backing down, not when Rei is
so good at stupid excuses, not when they both are, and all his excuses honestly
mean nothing. He nips at Rei’s lower lip, surging forward whenever Rei shows
the slightest sign of pulling back, hands gripping tight, but gentle at the
same time on those cool bony wrists.

It’s a rare day--a nonexistent one, actually--that Rei feels outpaced in this
sort of thing. His breath stutters, caught in his chest, and his fingers curl
into fists above his head, lingering tension making his nails bite half-moons
into his palms.

That doesn’t mean he wants this to stop any time soon. 

Kaoru kisses like he’s hungry, and Rei understands exactly what that’s like. He
lurches up from the wall, squeezing his thighs around Kaoru’s, meeting Kaoru’s
mouth for every kiss, trying to be careful with the way his fangs are still out
and the way his body still reminds him he’s thirsty until the lightest prick of
them against Kaoru’s lower lip makes the taste of fresh blood explode over his
tongue. A startled, ragged whimper catches in his throat, and Rei sucks on
Kaoru’s lower lip, his tongue flicking out to catch the little streak of red
that threatens to drip off of Kaoru’s chin. 

Normally, Kaoru isn’t into all this rough, bleeding stuff--but man, today sure
feels like an exception, if the way his cock hardens against his leg is any
indication. He lurches forward, kissing Rei like a man possessed, groaning soft
little noises against his mouth. It’s just unfair the way Rei kisses him like
he wants to eat him, and even worse how much it seeps to turn him on, until
he’s grinding up hard, feeling the answering swell against his thigh.

Breathless, half-laughing, he breaks the kiss, murmuring against Rei’s lips,
“Kinda nice...to be able to tell so easily that you’re into it...”

Rei blinks at him with dazed, half-lidded eyes for a moment before he gets it,
and sputters out a laugh, surging up to kiss Kaoru again, breathing out a sigh
through his nose at just how plain good it feels to rub his cock against
Kaoru’s thigh. “Guys are a bit easier, huh?” he teases, sucking on Kaoru’s
swollen lower lip to get another little taste, which just makes him shiver down
to his curling toes. “Mmn, Kaoru-kun...you taste good...” 

“Ahh...I guess I should expect this kind of thing from making out with a
vampire, huh?” Kaoru laughs at his own joke, grinding their hips together in an
easy, hungry rock. “That why you started saying you were one, Sakuma-san? To
give you an excuse to bite hot guys?”

“I’m...ahh...I’m pickier than that,” Rei protests, wriggling one of his hands
free to better reach down, grab a handful of Kaoru’s ass, and yank him forward
against him. Feeling the way Kaoru throbs against him makes his breath hiccup,
and Rei’s distractedly fingers hook into one of Kaoru’s belt loops. “But I do
wanna bite you,” he breathlessly admits. “I have for awhile.” 

“You keep touching me like that,” Kaoru breathes, leaning in to nip at one of
Rei’s earlobes, tugging on one of his stud earrings, “and I might just let
you.” He laughs at himself, and starts rucking up the hem of Rei’s shirt,
tugging it out of his pants and sliding his hand up under the silky fabric to
trace over lean abs.He really needs to eat more, he thinks in mild dismay, and
vows to get on Rei’s case for that more often.

You know, later.

“You shouldn’t,” Rei pants out, his head thunking back against the wall again.
Kaoru’s hand feels molten hot against his skin, which tenses, shivering
underneath his touch. “If I get my mouth on you, I’ll drink you dry. Kaoru-
kun...” His own hand drags along Kaoru’s waistband, his thumb flipping open the
button of his fly. He doesn’t shove his hand down Kaoru’s pants just yet--no,
first, his fingers curl against the bulge of his cock through fabric, slowly
squeezing. “How are we breaking our apartment in, hm?” 

Kaoru’s breath stutters and catches, and god, it’s been way too long since he’s
gotten laid...or maybe it’s just that Rei’s fingers are a pianist’s fingers,
talented and long and delicate, and Kaoru feels like the pleasure spiking
through his veins is the music Rei’s coaxing from his body. “However you want,”
he murmurs thoughtlessly, hand dragging up over Rei’s chest, rucking up his
shirt to get at more exposed skin, more that he can touch and enjoy. “I’ll make
you feel good, I swear. Just--don’t stop touching me, feel how hard I am for
you?” It’s impossible to totally shake the way he usually talks to girls even
now, and honestly, his mind is full of other things besides trying very hard.

Rei knows those lines--he’s thrown them at Ritsu, at a sparse unmentionable
others, and being on the other side of them is...huh, well, he sure is hard and
sort of lightheaded. That doesn’t seem quite fair, but ignoring the way his
toes curl when he squeezes Kaoru’s cock, drags him forward by that grasp alone
is impossible. “Yeah,” he breathes, his eyes lidded as he gives into the urge
to unzip Kaoru’s pants and get his hand around his cock properly. The first
stroke is an insistent one, dragged from root to tip as Rei arches off the wall
into Kaoru’s hand, and fastens his mouth to the lobe of Kaoru’s ear, his breath
fast and eager. “Yeah, I do. So fuck me.” 

Well, shit. Apparently his lines work just as well on guys as they do girls,
judging first by Souma and now (more importantly, more surprisingly) by Rei. 

Kaoru bites his lip at the touch to his cock, and nods, hands getting to work
on yanking down Rei’s pants--are those flannel? Was he wearing those in
public?--and reaching down, squeezing a pale thigh, sliding his hand up before
he pauses. He’s had enough fun with girls who were sort of wild about what they
wanted to do that he knows how this part works, but...

Carefully, he keeps touching, rocking in a slow slick grind against Rei’s hand,
then asking, “You have lube, right? I’ve got condoms. I mean, I can always run
to the drugstore...”

“I’ll never forgive you,” Rei bluntly says, fumbling one-handedly into his
sweater’s pocket, because, well, Kaoru isn’t the only one over-prepared. He
tears open the packet with his teeth before shoving it down into Kaoru’s hand,
dripping the slippery stuff all over his fingers. “...How many condoms?” Maybe
Kaoru is worse than he is, actually. 

“Some?” 

Far more important than how many condoms he may or may not allegedly have with
him at all times is the matter of getting some of that slick stuff where it
needs to be. Kaoru might not be a pianist, but he considers himself a musician
all the same, and no slouch at stuff like this. Rei’s body is shivering and
taut, and yeah, perhaps a little relaxation is in order. The second his fingers
slide back, Kaoru slides forward, mouthing over the hot hard head of Rei’s
cock, feeling that familiar tacky drip against his tongue that, to be honest,
he hasn’t really stopped thinking about since the last time he’d had it between
his lips. Rei is crazy tight around just one of his fingers, slipping in to the
second knuckle, and Kaoru teases, “Good thing mine isn’t as big as yours, eh?
Or you’d be panicking, I bet.”

Rei’s breath hiccups wildly when Kaoru’s mouth drags over his cock, and ah,
well, the whine that escapes when that first finger slides in deep could be
more masculine. Fuck it, it feels good, no matter that he’s so out of practice
that the tense ache makes his knees wobble, and he wraps up both of his hands
into Kaoru’s hair, clinging there as his toes curl into the floor. “Not
panicking, just dying, kinda,” he pants out, his head flopping back against the
wall again with a resounding thump. “Nn, Kaoru-kun, t-take...” He swallows,
tongue running over the sharp edge of his fangs distractedly. “Take care of
me.” 

Somewhere in Kaoru’s mind, it still hasn’t entirely resonated that he has
Sakuma Rei whining and shuddering around his finger, that it’s the super-cool
crazy-talented leader of his high school unit, aspiring rockstar Sakuma Rei
pleading to be fucked against a wall. Maybe that’s for the best, in a way. If
he keeps the pressure from getting to him, keeps it from being about What are
we? and What is this about? then it’ll be way more fun, and it’s not like
they’ve never fooled around for no reason before.

This is different, Kaoru’s mind nags him, even as he works in a second finger,
hissing against the sweet stretch of that tight hole around just that much,
scissoring and widening them with every slow pump into Rei’s body. This is
different, because you feel different about him. 

That voice needs to go fuck off right now, Kaoru thinks cheerfully, and drags
his tongue in a long stripe up the underside of Rei’s cock, swirling it around
the head before releasing it with a wet pop. “Don’t worry, Sakuma-san,” he
says, winking up, curling his fingers slowly. “You’re in good hands. Or they’re
in you.”

Helping Kaoru hook up with Souma was good for something, apparently, because
even if being good with his hands can be explained away with dating girl after
girl, being good at sucking cock has nothing to do with that at all. Rei
frantically tries to remember the last time he’s felt so wobbly and shaky and
agonizingly close just from having someone’s mouth on his dick and a couple of
fingers pressing deep inside of him, and can’t, he can’t at all. 

His nails dig into Kaoru’s scalp, and it takes a concentrated effort not to
just drag his mouth further down onto his dick. Rei shudders, shutting his
eyes, arching himself down onto those fingers, hissing out a sharp breath when
they slide over something perfect inside of him, and his cock jumps and
twitches, dripping over-eager against Kaoru’s lips. The aching sting of being
stretched open dulls, and Rei tugs dazedly on Kaoru’s hair. Who
knewyou’dactually get good at this?

Kaoru has gone down on enough girls (and one guy) to know what that particular
tug means, and he smiles, licking his lips as he pulls back. “You sure?” he
asks, twisting his fingers. His own cock is achingly hard and eager between his
thighs, enough that he’s sure if he just rubbed it once he could get off. “You
don’t want a couple more in here first? Feels like it’s been a while, I don’t
wanna hurt you...”

The twist of those fingers makes Rei gulp and arch, grounding himself only by
the grace of having his hands still in Kaoru’s hair firmly enough to pull
again. “I’m gonna come in two seconds if you d-don’t stop.” It comes out as a
plead for mercy more than a threat. “Put it in.” 

Who could resist such a pretty plea?

Kaoru pulls his fingers out, then pulls a condom out of his back pocket,
tearing it open and rolling it on with the ease of far too much practice. Then
he steps forward, hooking an elbow under Rei’s leg to hoist it up, reaching the
other hand down to guide himself to that tight, quivering hole. 

Before he presses inside, he brushes a kiss to Rei’s cheek, then his neck, then
his lips, murmuring, “You look so good, I want you so bad, I’m gonna make you
lovethis,” before rocking his hips forward, feeling the head catch, then slowly
breach that slick hole a centimeter at a time.
 
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
 
Rei wants to be cool about this. He’s already ruined a huge chunk of his image
around Kaoru today, sobbing and crying because he couldn’t see Ritsu for five
minutes. In this, at least, he could still be cool and sexy and
not…just…completely melt.
 
His arms end up thrown around Kaoru’s neck, fingers bunching up into the back
of his shirt, and the tight, tight squeeze of Kaoru’s cock sinking into him
makes Rei stretch up onto the toes of the one foot that’s still on the ground.
There’s only so far he can go like that, though, once the head of Kaoru’s cock
shoves inside, and Rei wobbles, trembling, forced to relax with a groan that he
buries into the curve of Kaoru’s shoulder when his foot slides flat against the
floor again.
 
Kaoru feels huge inside, stretching and stuffing him, and Rei can feel the
trickle of sweat down from his hairline, the flush of heat that leaves his face
ruddy. His own cock, undeterred, throbs where it’s pressed between them,
grinding against Kaoru’s shirt and stomach. His skin prickles, his voice
catches in his throat, and clinging to Kaoru seems like the best plan of action
for sure.
 
It was fun being straight while it lasted.
 
That’s the last thought Kaoru has, possibly ever, before he sinks deep into
Sakuma Rei, and everything changes.
 
Rei is so tight around him he sees stars, so slick he can’t stop pushing in, so
rough and hot clinging to him that he can hardly breathe, and Kaoru wouldn’t
have it any other way. He slams in deep, faster and harder than he’d intended,
and murmurs, “Sorry, sorry, you’re just--” before he loses it completely,
thrusting in hard and hot and faster with every squeeze of friction around his
cock, deeper and deeper like a man possessed.
 
Rei’s mind clicks off, which is both terrifying, and so, so good.
 
Kaoru is in him so deep, so far that Rei feels himself cramp in the oddest
places, aching when he clenches down, as if no matter what he does, how he
moves, he’s still going to feel it later. Maybe it’s because he’s never really
been shoved against a wall and fucked like this before, and the position, the
way Kaoru fucks up between his legs, holds him down and can’t quite control
himself, makes Rei’s nails rake down Kaoru’s back before he grabs a handful of
his ass, dragging Kaoru in deeper with his next few thrusts. “’s fine,” Rei
pants, a breathless, ragged noise leaving the back of his throat when his leg
threatens to buckle out from underneath him, and holding tighter to Kaoru,
lending himself to the way his hips shove up into him with a desperate arch of
his back, is the only option he’s got. His cock drips steadily between them,
and Rei bites into his own lower lip when Kaoru’s shirt rubs against his own
nipples as he ruts forward, quickly driving him mad.
 
Kaoru looks at Rei, arching and shuddering on his cock, and his mind blanks
out. “You look good like this,” he breathes, eyes alight with lust, driving
into Rei harder with every sweet thrust, dragging Rei down onto each one with
strong arms. “Like you were meant to be fucked against a wall. You don’t--get
taken care of too often, right?”
 
He can tell. It makes him reach between them with his free hand, grabbing Rei’s
cock and stroking fast, hoping it comes across as wanting Rei to have a good
time and not as being unsure if he can last much longer. “Come on...you look so
good, lemme take care of you--”
 
“N—K-Kaoru, d—“
 
That’s as much as Rei manages. Kaoru’s hand on his cock tips the scale,
effectively silencing any protest Rei had on his tongue for him to stop, wait,
wait, wait, because I can’t.
 
The leg trembling around Kaoru’s waist squeezes tight, the fingers clinging to
Kaoru’s back digging in so hard that Rei is pretty sure he breaks a nail.
Coming like this is…longer, so much more drawn out, with every spasm as he
comes over Kaoru’s hand deep-seated and achy, and with every twitch and
involuntary squeeze down around Kaoru, it just seems to draw it out even more.
“Fuck,” Rei whispers, gulping for a full breath, his toes curled so tightly
that he can feel a charley horse starting in his calf. “Fuck, I—“
 
“That’s it,” Kaoru breathes, and with another flurry of frantic, pleasure-
seeking thrusts, he loses it, slamming deep inside and staying there, a long,
drawn-out groan leaving his mouth as he floods Rei’s insides over and over,
feeling like Rei is draining him dry.
 
His hand slips, and he catches it quickly before Rei’s leg comes crashing to
the floor, lowering it with as much clumsy care as he can manage. “S-sorry,” he
half-laughs, rubbing the back of his head. For some reason, as sated as he is,
he just can’t stop smiling, heart pulsing hard, his whole body alight and
singing, far from satiated.
 
Rei, pleasantly dazed, if not on the verge of toppling right onto the floor,
manages to keep his arms firmly draped around Kaoru’s shoulders. Shifting for
comfort as well as stability makes him grimace, and he curses as he feels the
condom slip off before he can reach down to catch it. “Well, fuck,” he
breathlessly grumbles at the sticky drip down his thighs, and sighs as he just
flicks the condom to the floor to be dealt with later. “Hope you’re ready to be
a father, Kaoru-kun.”
 
“It’s not mine! ...sorry, automatic reaction.” Kaoru laughs at his own joke,
picking up the condom and tossing it into the trash can, then fetching some
tissues without a hint of distaste. It’s his own mess, after all.
 
“It could be,” Rei says with a bat of his eyelashes, which, huh, even those
feel sweaty. Gross. He takes a couple of tissues to wipe up the mess, wincing
at all of the weird soreness that he hasn’t felt in…god, he doesn’t even know.
“I’ve always wondered if human-vampire interbreeding was a thing…ah, well,
we’ll know soon enough.” We just aren’t going to talk about this, are we? Is
that good? Maybe it’s good.
 
Kaoru pauses, putting a hand on Rei’s almost without meaning to. “Are
we...gonna talk about this?”
 
Whoo. Never mind. They are. Rei hesitates visibly, and while he doesn’t make to
pull away, he does bend to better tug his pants back up. “Well. If you’d prefer
a ‘get out of sex straight’ card…”
 
“That was the best sex I’ve ever had,” Kaoru says bluntly. “And if we’re gonna
be living together, we’re probably gonna want to do it again. I mean, unless
I’m wrong and you have sex that good all the time, in which case more power to
you, just ignore me.”
 
“No—no, that was…” Different, on another level, I don’t even know what to say
about it. Rei tucks a few sweat-damp strands of his hair behind his ears,
glancing aside. “That was…something else,” Rei quietly agrees. “And you’re
right, I already want to do it again.”
 
Kaoru sighs out a breath, almost collapsing onto the floor in relief. “Oh,
good, not just me. Yeah...okay, I’m glad we’re on the same page.”
 
Rei wavers, unsure of what else to say about it, but feeling like there is
quite a bit more to be said. “Ah…right, the same page.” He fiddles with one
sleeve of his sweater before shrugging it off, sick and tired of being sweaty
and gross. “Kaoru-kun…are we…do you…is this a dating thing?” Glorious. His
painful lack of relationship experience, showing at last.
 
Kaoru hops up on the edge of the kitchen counter for lack of any other
furniture, feet swinging a little awkwardly. “Do you want to? I mean...we
could. If...” He grimaces. “I never thought I’d have to ask this, but are you
still, uh....dating your little brother?” Yep, that feels as weird to say aloud
as he’d thought.
 
Rei winces outright. “God, that question sounds bad,” he mutters, fiddling with
the sleeves of his sweater before folding it over his arm. “Ritsu and I,
we…he’s been very fixated on Isara-kun lately.” It’s painful to think about in
every direction, but it is absolutely what is best, and Rei has been resigned,
if not content, to push for such a thing, even if Ritsu is unaware of it. “I’m
available if he wants me to be, of course, but…”
 
There are certain times when Kaoru’s dating a girl that little red flags pop
up, warning him that this isn’t going to be good for him in the long run. Rei
is incredible, of course, talented and cool and sexy and fun...but he’s also
absolutely dating his own little brother, as loathe as he is to entirely admit
it. “Tell you what,” he suggests. “A very cool guy once told me that I was
worth more than to let someone use me while they had someone else they really
wanted, so...why don’t you figure it out and let me know?”
 
Ouch. It’s entirely fair, of course, but Rei isn’t all that sure why it makes
him so suddenly upset to hear that. “Fair enough,” he says with a forced laugh,
and then adds, because if this isn’t honesty hour, it never will be, “I’m not
sure I’ll ever be able to turn him down, you know.”
 
Kaoru bites his lip, looking down at his slowly kicking feet. “So, basically
you’re saying I’m waiting until he doesn’t want you anymore.”
 
“…More than that, I’m…” Rei glances down in turn, frowning. “I don’t want you
to waste your time, or for you to be saddled with anything like…that. Me,
specifically, I mean me.”
 
“Uh...not to make it weird, but we kinda just got an apartment together and are
trying to sign a contract as a duo,” Kaoru points out. “It’s not like I’m real
insulated from you being able to cause me trouble, Sakuma-san. I just want to
know if we can keep having sex or if we can start dating.”
 
“That’s all fairly separate of sex and dating, I think,” Rei protests. “I’m
much more responsible in my career—er, today notwithstanding, I know I bailed
on the contract signing, and I’m really sorry, it won’t happen again.” He
hesitates, idly scuffing his toes against the floor. “I’m not interested in
making you be second place,” he finally says. “But I…at the risk of sounding
like a complete idiot, I’ve never dated anyone.” He winces, rubbing at the back
of his neck. “I…I don’t really think Ritsu counts, it’s a separate sort of
thing.”
 
“If it’s separate...then it’s okay, right?” Kaoru laughs, mostly at himself,
shaking out the long ends of his hair. “But, uh, I was in his grade for a
while, and I know he’s kinda...scary, sometimes. In a cute way, of course! But
yeah, maybe...talk to him? Find out if he’s gonna gut you if you want to do
this? Or me? Because I don’t want to get gutted?”
 
“Oh, he would never.” Rei certainly is quick to reassure Kaoru about that, but
upon thinking it through again—“Okay, he might,” Rei says with a sigh, hanging
his head. “Ritsu can get a little intense. I’m hoping, hoping that Isara-kun is
attentive enough…but after today, I have no idea how that’s going to go and…”
He trails off, and quickly switches trajectories. “Kaoru-kun, how sure are you
that you want to deal with this, even remotely? There are lots of people that
will have sex with you, you know that.”
 
Kaoru kicks his feet, shrugs, and tries not to hate himself. “I mean, I know
that,” he admits. “And you’re definitely a sack of cats on the crazy scale on
your best days, but...I mean, I’ve known you for years, Sakuma-san. I
wouldn’t’ve offered if I didn’t want to. Besides, I can’t date girls right now.
Bad for our image, you know? We have to be untouchable idols.”
 
“A sack of cats? Why can’t I at least be a sack of bats?” Rei worries at his
lower lip, forgetting for the umpteenth time in the past four years that hey,
he totally has fangs, and makes himself bleed in the process. He wipes at his
mouth hurriedly, and heaves a sigh. No, there’s no helping it. If he wants even
a sliver of a good thing, he has to actually make the grab for it himself, not
let anyone else do the chasing—if there’s one thing attempting to fix things
with Ritsu has taught him, it’s that. “A-all right, then, officially, I’m
asking, so you can hold me responsible. Will you…will you go out with me?”
 
The startling thing isn’t the question, Kaoru thinks. The startling thing is
how he can feel his own face turn slowly pink, and he brings up his hands to
cover his face, nodding. “So cool, Sakuma-san! With a straight face and
everything!”
 
Rei feels himself flush hot instantly. “Don’t make fun of me,” he protests,
hurriedly glancing away as he folds his arms over his chest. “I’m…I just want
to make sure you have a reason to yell at me later, because now this is my
idea, and I’m held accountable. I function better under pressure.”
 
“You’re being all doom and gloom for no reason. Eh, is that the vampire thing?”
 
Kaoru hops off the table, then unapologetically leans in and gives Rei a firm
kiss on the lips. “Quit thinking of things as being so one-sided. I’m in, okay?
So we’re gonna work stuff out together if it doesn’t work.”
 
“…You’re very used to things going your way, aren’t you, Kaoru-kun?” Rei says
with a soft laugh, absent-mindedly lifting his fingers to touch his freshly-
kissed mouth, sort of mystified that he didn’t have to beg, barter, and plead
for it. “Ah, I mean, that’s not a bad thing. I’m just…not. So please bear with
my gloominess, it’s only partially the vampire thing.”
 
“How many times are you gonna make me remind you that I’ve known you for
years?” Kaoru teases, giving Rei’s nose a gentle tap with one finger. “Quit
feeling like I’m suddenly going to realize who I’m waking up next to. And
speaking of, let’s set up a fucking bed, huh?”
 
Rei stares him dead in the eye, blinking only once when he’s tapped. “What
we’re going to do is bring my coffin in.”
 
“Where is it?”
 
“…Still in the—you know what, fair enough, I’ll sleep in a normal human bed
tonight and tonight only.”
 
And that, as far as Kaoru is concerned, is as much of a victory as getting
Sakuma ‘relationships are for other people’ Rei to ask him out.
 
***** Chapter 8 *****
Waking up probably isn’t anyone’s favorite part of the day. Hakaze Kaoru isn’t
any different, in that sense. He barely stirs at the first hint of light, and
finally rolls over after some politician drives past their apartment, blaring
campaign promises from his bullhorn.
 
Rolling over brings him nose to nose with Sakuma Rei, looking pale and perfect
and naked, like some gift one god would give another, and Kaoru’s breath
stutters a little. Then he remembers--they’re dating, and it’s okay. He grins,
and nuzzles forward, nose to nose. “G’morning, sleepy.”
 
No matter how used he is to his coffin, which is plush and soft and deliciously
dark, Kaoru’s futon that envelops him in layers of squishy down is
wonderful—and it makes Rei that much less willing to wake, especially when he
can feel the sun dripping in through the open, uncovered window.
 
Rei shifts, his eyes cracking open the slightest bit before he grunts, shutting
his eyes again as he slinks further underneath the duvet. “Nooooo,” is the weak
groan that escapes, husky from sleepiness and disuse. “Why are there windows…”
 
Kaoru laughs, snaking both arms around Rei’s waist, pulling his complaining
form close. “You fell asleep in my room, remember? Ahh, you’re cute in the
morning, super blushy!”
 
“Nooo, I don’t remember this, you’re a liar and a traitor…” Rei contemplates
the sweet embrace of death, but it has fairly stiff competition in Hakaze
Kaoru. At least Kaoru is an easy shield from the sun, and Rei buries his face
directly into his shoulder, breathing in deep.
 
Ah. Mistake. That’s a mistake, because Kaoru smells very good, both in a
normal, human sense, and in a I need to suck him dry right now sense.
 
“I’m gonna eat you if you don’t let me die in peace,” Rei half-heartedly
threatens, mouthing a kiss over Kaoru’s pulse, because at least he can imagine
having a proper taste.
 
Kaoru laughs, nuzzling into Rei’s hair, sort of thrilled that his aloof
sometimes-sempai is letting him do this kind of thing. Sure, they’re dating
now, but he knows as well as anyone, if not better, that that doesn’t mean the
same thing to everyone. If it means this, he thinks, he can be happy with the
outcome. “Ooh, big scary vampire! Don’t eeeat me!”
 
“If you keep saying that, I’m going to have to on principle,” Rei murmurs, eyes
lidded as he contemplates it, mostly for the thrill of it. This is some kind of
weird punishment game, it has to be, because torturing himself by kissing
Kaoru’s neck and even resting a hand against his thigh where he can feel his
pulse just as strongly is slowly driving him mad. “You wouldn’t be a good
vampire, though,” he decides—has decided quite awhile ago, actually. “You’d
miss sunlight too much.”
 
“But I’d get to stay beautiful forever,” Kaoru teases, content to play along
with Rei’s silly game for now. “So, you know, there’s good parts on both sides.
Plus, chicks dig a guy with fangs. How’d you get yours, anyway?” He asks the
question, but he’s more interested in grabbing firm handfuls of Rei’s ass,
kneading and tugging him close.
 
“You’re going to be beautiful well into old age,” Rei neatly dismisses, a low
grumbling noise escaping from his throat when he’s tugged closer at first, but
he relents shortly thereafter, because at least Kaoru is letting him stay under
the covers and the sun isn’t too bright… “Mine are real. I forget I have them
even now, though,” Rei says thoughtfully, poking at one of them with his
tongue. “Troublesome.”
 
Kaoru blinks, startled. “They’re real? How much did they cost? Holy shit,
you’re really committed to this aesthetic, huh?”
 
“Oh, they’re natural.” Rei beams at him, until the sun shifts and filters in
over his face, making him hiss and slink further underneath the duvet again.
“Ugh. Committed is a word for it…”
 
Kaoru follows him in, turning Rei forcibly around and snuggling up behind him
in the darkness, happily squeezing. “Sakuma-saaaan, don’t pull away from me,
half the fun of going home with a cute g--with someone is getting to have
morning cuddles!”
 
“Be under the blankets with me, then, entirely under!” Rei, in turn, forcibly
yanks the duvet over their heads entirely, pleased when they’re enveloped in a
much more manageable amount of darkness than before. “I hate mornings,” he
bemoans, though he certainly doesn’t protest Kaoru’s clinging to him and
snuggling against him. That part is cute, and Kaoru is warm, and Rei doesn’t
hesitate to nestle back against him. “Do you call all of your cute girls by
Family Name-san, too, even after you’ve done them against walls?”
 
Kaoru laughs. “Nope, most of them are -chan after just one date. But Sakuma-san
is Sakuma-san, because you’re older than me.”
 
“By literally one day.”
 
“Yeah, that’s what makes it super cute that I call you that!”
 
“I mean…it is really cute,” Rei hedges, heaving a sigh as he fumbles underneath
the blankets for Kaoru’s hand, trying to lace their fingers together. “You have
other options, though, because I’m older. I won’t request ‘Onii-chan’ for
obvious reasons, but I’m just saying, you could.”
 
“Dude, you’ve definitely got a fetish.”
 
“I’m weak and should be stopped. This is your fault, you could have been born
the same day as me and it wouldn’t be an issue.”
 
“Whoa, now I’m being blamed? This feels really unfair! I’m not sure anyone can
stop you...”
 
“You’re not even trying.” Rei twists within Kaoru’s hold, turning around enough
to nuzzle underneath his chin before parting his lips, planting a kiss that
turns more to a suck to the arc of his throat. It would be so easy to just
bite…Rei wistfully thinks, but, well, at least this is great self-control
training.
 
“Careful,” Kaoru breathes, body gone deliciously squirmy under Rei’s
ministrations, hands coming up to thread in his hair. “We’ve got a shoot
tomorrow. I don’t wanna have to start wearing as many ruffles as your old buddy
Itsuki.”
 
Rei immediately giggles at that, drawing back from Kaoru’s neck. “He certainly
gets eaten alive on a regular basis, doesn’t he?” he hums, even as he
immediately slithers south to find another, perfectly viable location to
torment himself with. “A shame showing up with hickeys doesn’t keep them
guessing for us as much as it does destroys our contract, but, ah, the allure…”
 
“Wait, Itsuki--?” Kaoru’s question breaks off mid-sentence with a whine as Rei
sucks and licks, and he takes every opportunity to wrap his legs around Rei,
tugging him even closer. “Mmm...you’d mark me up if you could, huh?”
 
“I’m going to, if you release me from your tentacles. Is this why you were in
the Marine Life club?” Rei gently bites Kaoru’s shoulder, careful not to even
let his fangs prick the skin—he won’t be able to stop himself then, he knows
that much—before he frees himself enough to wriggle down, swiftly pressing a
kiss to Kaoru’s stomach, then to his hip before he presses a wet, sucking kiss
to the inside of Kaoru’s thigh.
 
Kaoru squeaks, trying not to tense automatically, twisting a little when he
just can’t help his body’s natural reaction. His hands card through Rei’s thick
hair, and he purposely forces his thighs to lay flat instead of wrapping around
Rei’s head. “N-no, I joined because, because I love surfing, and--and because
the other guys in that club were seriously pretty and looked like girls.”
 
Rei stifles a snort of laughter against Kaoru’s thigh. “You’re so gay,” he
says, thoroughly amused, and perfectly content with leaving another hickey just
on the inside of Kaoru’s knee. “How did you last so long at an all boy’s
school?”
 
“I’m not, though!” Kaoru protests, but he doubts that will matter when Sakuma
Rei has an idea in his mind. “I like girls just fine, I just...” Haven’t wanted
to date anyone but you.Yuck, at least he’d kept himself from saying that last
part aloud.
 
“You just…happened to join a club where, hey, the boys were seriously pretty.”
His Kaoru impression is pretty spot on, if someone asks him later. Rei’s
fingers curl against Kaoru’s knees, humming as he shoves them further apart and
immediately finds that thrumming, pulsing artery up the inside of his thigh
with his mouth. Kissing up the length of it makes his own blood pump faster,
and just sucking on the skin long enough to leave tiny bruises, priming it, is
torture.
 
Kaoru wants to close his knees so badly...but that’s not very cute, is it? He
lets them lie with a huff, fingers digging into the plush fabric under them as
he tries not to simply lose it. “Your mouth...is so good, Sakuma-san,” he
murmurs, forgetting their stupid argument about the Marine Life Club. “But I’ve
got some good ideas about what it could be doing.”
 
“Mmhm, I’m sure. You’re going to wait, I’m not done.”
 
Kaoru’s other thigh is in need of attention—and a few bruises, too. If this
were Ritsu, he’d already have his fangs buried in, and the distracting thought
of that nearly makes Rei do it against all of his better judgement. Bite, just
one bite, then he’s yours and you can really keep him.
 
A shiver rakes down Rei’s spine, and he draws back with a ragged exhale,
reaching for one of Kaoru’s hands to plant it back into his hair. “Wherever you
want me, I’m yours,” he quietly says instead, briefly shutting his eyes against
the thrum of Kaoru’s blood that he can hear so clearly.
 
Sakuma Rei is kind of a weird dude, that’s for sure. Kaoru is never quite sure
where some of his motivations come from, like how nervous he gets over some
things that should be easy, or how he brushes other things off that would drive
most people mad. Just now, he’s content to urge Rei’s head where he wants it,
because what’s better than a lazy, early-morning blowjob to start the day?
 
“Aniija is full of life this morning, huh?”
 
The voice comes from the foot of the bed, and Kaoru freezes, recognizing that
high, sleepy voice even if it’s been a while since he’s heard it, and never
quite like this. Ritsu. But wasn’t he in the hospital?
 
Rei gulps audibly, freezing in the split second it takes to consider his
options. Keep hiding under the duvet and never come outsounds pretty damn
awesome, to be honest, especially when his other option entails death by
adorable little brother.
 
That’s fair, admittedly. That’s really, really fair, especially when he left
yesterday after saying he’d stay, especially when he’s got his face between
Hakaze Kaoru’s legs. Slowly, painstakingly, Rei untangles himself from the
duvet and dumps it on Kaoru instead as he turns around, deciding to face his
worst fears with a beaming (albeit nervous) smile, even if he’s sleepy and
naked. “Ahh…good morning, Ritsu. You look…” Way better than you should look,
what are you doing? “You look well.”
 
Ritsu surveys the situation for a moment, then plops down on Rei’s lap, curling
up against his chest regardless of company. If they’re all going to ignore it,
this should be interesting. “Snuck out. Why do they wanna keep you in the
hospital for so long, anyway?” He pokes Rei’s cheek firmly. “They don’t know
anything about vampire biology.”
 
Kaoru decides to just stay under the duvet for a while. It at least offers some
amount of protection from this awkwardness, he hopes.
 
Rei hesitates visibly. It’s not even the fact that Ritsu is climbing all over
him in front of Kaoru—something he, well…he’s sort of thrilled about, oops.
It’s the fact that he really needs to have a talk about vampire things, and
Kaoru is still very present. Should I just do it anyway? Is it time for him to
get freaked out and realize I’m not joking when I say I want to eat him alive?
 
“…You can’t do stuff like that, Ritsu.” Here he goes, throwing away the one
good thing that’s happened to him in awhile. Rei sighs, grabbing Ritsu’s face
in his hands, looking him over for the bruises that he’d been covered in
before, and not seeing a single one. “First of all, you had a broken leg.
That’s really the kind of stuff you can’t heal overnight without people getting
real suspicious of.”
 
“Um, yeah, I know. That’s why I snuck out of the hospital. I left a note,” he
adds, and yawns, nuzzling into his brother’s chest. “Is that Kaoru-kun I smell?
Better than I expected. You drink from him yet?” Ritsu, apparently, has come to
much the same conclusion about a plan of attack as Rei, though for
significantly different reasons.
 
Kaoru contemplates escaping via the window and a ladder system. For a second,
he starts to shift towards the door, but one of Ritsu’s arms shoots out, faster
than he’d expected, and latches to his ankle. “You should stay,” Ritsu says,
seemingly unconcerned, and yawns again.
 
Ooh, that’s a weird conflict of interest his mind is having. On the one hand,
there’s a strange, possessive moment that makes him inclined to snarl even at
Ritsu—but then he checks himself, and it’s Ritsu, so Rei finds himself wavering
uncertainly. He wasn’t joking when he agreed to talk to Ritsu first to make
sure Kaoru didn’t end up gutted, after all. “Be nice to him, Ritsu,” Rei says
instead, patting his arm to get him to release Kaoru’s ankle. “And listen to
me, if someone finds out that you can heal that fast, that’s not going to go
over well.” Yes, good, they’re just not going to talk about Kaoru. “What did
you even say in that note? You didn’t tell them you were coming here, did you?”
 
“Mm-mm. Didn’t want you to get in trouble. I said I was feeling better so I was
gonna go to a friend’s house, and I’ll come home later, but I don’t wanna go
home.” Ritsu pulls back a little, blinking up at Rei. “They’ve lost it, Aniija.
After they kicked you out. They’re nuts now. Dad didn’t even ask how I was
doing after that psycho attacked me, just told me that it was Maa-kun’s fault
and I can’t see him again. He’s lucky I didn’t bleed him out, jeez...”
 
“They’ll calm down about Isara-kun,” Rei reassures him, stroking a hand through
Ritsu’s hair. All this talk of blood and drinking is starting to make him
restless, even after downing half of that crate of blood bags from the night
before. It’s just not the same as being able to sink his teeth into someone,
and that’s frustrating when Ritsu’s cuddled up into his lap, smelling
wonderful, and Kaoru is hiding just under the duvet, smelling like he needs to
be sucked dry from about three places. “You still didn’t tell me about the guy
that came after you. Did he get caught? Do I need to kill him?” That would be a
good excuse to go and feed.
 
“Hmm? Oh, right.” Ritsu smiles, showing a hint of fangs. “That’s how come I
feel so much better today. Did they even tell you there were a few of them?
Ehh, I guess you didn’t really have time to hear the full story...doesn’t
matter, though. There’s a couple left, if you want me to show you. You smell
hungry. Heh, did you just hear Kaoru-kun’s heart speed up? You’ve got some good
self-control, Aniija...”
 
Not as good as you might think! Rei frantically thinks. The rapid thudding of
Kaoru’s pulse echoes in his ears, suddenly too-loud, too tempting, and Rei’s
fingers squeeze into Ritsu’s arms, his nails biting into his skin. “Show them
to me later,” Rei quietly says, shoving his face into Ritsu’s neck, breathing
in deep. “Don’t do things like that again—you’re going to attract too much
attention, just leave it to me.”
 
“...but I was hurt,” Ritsu says, pulling away with a glare. “And you didn’t
come back. And it hurt.”
 
“I was going to come back,” Rei insists, trying to focus on this conversation
and not the irritatingly distracting hunger pangs that he now has to deal with.
For once, he can say with certainty that it’s entirely Ritsu’s fault. He had
this under control.“Ritsu, love, sometimes you just have to bear with it for a
little while—if you could have just put up with it for a week, maybe, and just
had a few more drinks from me…”
 
Ooookay. They’re vampires. They’re actually vampires. This might just be a
weird stunt? No, Ritsu had a broken leg yesterday, holy shit, they’re actually
vampires, how many times has he tried to tell me and I just haven’t been
listening? Oh my god. They are vampires. Sakuma-san and his little brother are
the kind of vampires that fucking eat people oh man I am gonna miss my big
sister.
 
“I don’t really think you were gonna come back, though,” Ritsu says, poking
Rei’s cheek again. “Visiting hours have been open for a while, Aniija, and Mom
and Dad didn’t come. You said you’d be right back, but when I woke up you
didn’t leave a note or anything.”
 
Rei heaves a sigh, hanging his head. “I went a little too close to my limit
yesterday, after letting you feed,” he admits, turning his head to press a kiss
to the inside of Ritsu’s wrist. “Wataru was kind enough to bring me takeout,
but before that…ahh, I don’t actually remember even walking out of the
hospital, I’m sorry, Ritsu. But I was planning to come back today, I just
didn’t think you would be awake so early.”
 
The kiss goes a long way towards mollifying Ritsu, and he nuzzles back into
Rei’s chest. “Okay. I just...” He swallows hard, feeling the darkness rising up
around him again, Rei retreating to his own sunshine, leaving him alone, and he
clings to Rei’s shoulders hard. “I got...scared.”
 
“I know, I know. I’m sorry for scolding you, you know I’m just worried about
you,” Rei hurries to reassure him, wrapping his arms firmly around Ritsu and
pressing another kiss to the top of his head. “Have you talked to Isara-kun,
too? He’s so worried about you, I know. I think he’s pretty convinced he’s the
reason all of this happened—he tried to blame me and just started crying, heh.”
 
Ritsu shakes his head, lip trembling. “He was at home watching his little
sister. I didn’t...wanna interrupt, he always looks so normal and cute when
he’s at home, and being around me is just so much crazy, Maa-kun deserves some
time to be...” He sniffs, curling up farther. “I’m being stupid thinking I can
keep him, right?”
 
“No, no, no, you aren’t, I promise.” Maybe you are, a little, Rei tiredly
thinks, his eyes flickering over to the Kaoru-shaped lump, which probably isn’t
going to be there when this conversation is over and done with. That brings the
strangest, aching pang to his chest, and Rei swallows, forcing himself to shrug
it off. “Ritsu…he loves you, and he’s worried about you. Did you at least call
him? Honestly,” Rei sighs, tucking a few strands of Ritsu’s hair behind his
ears. “He’d probably be thrilled to know you aren’t in the hospital anymore; he
doesn’t know you healed in three minutes flat.”
 
“Tried to call. It went to voicemail. Usually that means his mom took his phone
and turned it off, the ringing annoys her.” Just the thought that he might not
get to hear Mao complaining about his mom taking his phone anymore makes a few
tears spill, and Ritsu sucks in a breath. He’s already pretty much forgotten
about Kaoru, forgotten about everything besides how warm and strong his brother
feels when he’s so miserable. “Just...tell me what to do, my heart hurts and I
don’t feel good.”
 
“Ahh, don’t cry, come now.” Rei cups Ritsu’s face in his hands, lifting his
face to plant a kiss to his forehead. “If Mom and Dad aren’t harassing you
right now, then go over to Isara-kun’s house and let him see that you’re
feeling better. Offer to help babysit, tell his little sister some scary
stories and make her think you’re super cool. He’s going to be so relieved to
see you, Ritsu.”
 
Ritsu sniffs. “That does sound like Maa-kun,” he agrees, and slowly picks
himself off of Rei’s lap. “Okay. If it doesn’t work, it’s your fault and you
have to take care of me forever. Bye, Kaoru-kun. Good luck.”
 
“That’s the plan,” Rei hums, curling his fingers in a languid wave. “Be safe,
Ritsu! Do you need a parasol? I think I have a few in the boxes in my room, I
can get up and go check, there’s one with little rabbits—“
 
“Your taste is bad, I’m going.”
 
The second the door shuts, Kaoru slowly lowers the duvet from his face, staring
up at the ceiling. Quietly, he says, “You must think I’m really stupid, Sakuma-
san.”
 
And now, it’s time to deal with his own problems, of which Rei feels far less
confident in managing.
 
“Ah…no…” Rei hedges, a nervous smile on his face as he shifts to face Kaoru.
“Not particularly?”
 
Kaoru’s smile is wry as he raises up onto his elbows. “You tried to tell me a
bunch of times, right? I just thought you were being sort of chuunibyou. But it
was cute, so whatever.”
 
There’s no going back now, and in a way, that’s such a intense relief that Rei
feels himself wobble. Maybe he needs to help Ritsu tell the truth to Mao in the
same way, somehow. “If I talk about it like it’s a real thing around most
people, that’s what they think, and they just think I’m weird,” Rei finally
says, distractedly smoothing a few wrinkles out of the duvet cover. “I tried to
hide it at first, and I mostly came off as a weird, mean person, which I don’t
care for. I…well. Now you know. Feel free to run screaming, the fangs are
real.”
 
Slowly, Kaoru sits up, abs flexing, and reaches out to touch Rei’s cheek. His
face is intent, brow furrowed, the tip of his tongue running over his teeth as
he focuses on Rei’s mouth. “Can I see them? Are they hollow, or...?”
 
Rei blinks, wide-eyed. Truly, he expected Kaoru to nope out of this situation
faster than anything he has before—and he wouldn’t have blamed him in the
slightest. Instead, here he is being asked about his fangs, and…huh. That
hasn’t happened since second year, when Wataru kept dragging him to meet-ups at
Shu’s house, and they all poked and prodded at one another to figure out what
specifically made them each inhuman.
 
“A-ah…yes, kind of like a spider’s? Or a snake, I suppose…” Rei parts his lips,
tongue absently running over the tip of one of them. It’s not like he has to
try to make them visible when he’s still this hungry; the reflex is too strong.
“But I don’t drink through them, they’re only good for opening things up and
injecting. Honestly, it’s a poor construct, I wonder when vampires will
evolve…”
 
Kaoru reaches forward, looking up to check with Rei that the motion is okay
before he brushes his fingertip over one sharp, pointed fang, seeing the tiny
hole at the tip. “Huh...that’s actually kind of cool? What do you, uh, inject?”
He should probably be freaking out over this more, he’s pretty sure, but, well,
what’s done is kind of done at this point, right? Might as well see some cool
shit before Rei decides he knows too much and makes him the next meal.
 
It takes some real self-control not to lean in and bite Kaoru’s finger. Reel it
in, reel it in.“I think it’s kind of…some kind of a paralytic and aphrodisiac
all at once?” Rei has to laugh at himself, because—“I’m really bad at being a
vampire, actually,” he admits with a helpless shrug. “I don’t know what I’m
doing. I wish I had gotten a vampire manual, but, alas…”
 
Kaoru pulls his finger back, and gives Rei a little lopsided half-grin. “Making
up the rules as you go along, huh? And...Ritsu too? Always, or...?”
 
“Ah…no. I was turned right when I started high school. Then I fucked up, and
immediately turned Ritsu.” Rei shrugs again. “Ritsu’s so much better at it than
I am, go figure. I think it’s because he doesn’t care. I mean, I constantly
worry he’s going to get caught, but he seems so happy about it most of the
time…”
 
Kaoru laughs, brushing his hair behind his ear, then scoots forward again,
resting his forehead against Rei’s. “Okay, I’m gonna try and get serious here,
but only as much as we have to, you know? Just...how much of it’s real? If
you’re gonna kill me because I know too much, I’d honestly rather you do it now
than dragging it out.”
 
Rei stares at him, his brow furrowing. “Kill you? Goodness, no, I’m not going
to kill you. Give me a little bit of credit, Kaoru-kun—I have a good setup
here,” he huffs. “Everyone already thinks I’m bizarre, so whatever you say will
just make them roll their eyes. You don’t have anything on Ritsu, and you don’t
know anything about me, so what would I need to kill you over? Mostly, I just
really want to drink from you—type B, right? That’s why you smell so good.”
 
“Ah...yeah.” Kaoru rubs the back of his head, then laughs at himself a little.
“You can seriously smell that. Weird, but cool. Man, I thought for sure you
were gonna kill me after this talk, ha! So...” He reaches out, curling his
finger around one lock of Rei’s hair. “If you’re not gonna mess me up, you
still wanna date, right?”
 
“…Has anyone ever told you that you might be a little too calm and accepting of
others?” Rei bluntly asks, eyebrows raising. “And apparently, you don’t fear
death.”
 
“Eh? I don’t?” Kaoru cocks his head, trying to process this. “Wow, that makes
me sound super cool. I’m already part of Undead, right? And you just said you
don’t want to kill me, so what’s the fear?”
 
“You’re definitely too calm,” Rei huffs, lurching forward to snuggle his way
close, a rather spitting image of the way Ritsu had just gotten through of
doing the same with him. “I don’t want to kill you, but that doesn’t mean I
don’t want to feed on you,” he breathes, shoving his face into Kaoru’s neck,
nuzzling directly into it. “And that doesn’t scare you at all?”
 
“I mean...you want to bite me, right? And take a lil’ taste?” Carefully, Kaoru
shakes his hair back from his neck. “I didn’t think you were serious before, or
I wouldn’t have teased you the same way. Does it hurt?”
 
“…That depends on what you think hurts,” Rei distractedly answers, flicking
away a last strand of hair from the curve of Kaoru’s shoulder, and letting his
thumb brush directly over Kaoru’s thudding pulse. “I don’t think it does, the
venom takes away most of the sting. This is the one vampire thing I am pretty
good at,” he defensively adds. “Ritsu isn’t gentle, he chomps.”
 
“Eh? Vampires can drink from other vampires? That sounds vaguely incestuous.”
Too late, Kaoru hears the words coming out of his mouth, and winces. “Sorry. I
didn’t mean that in a bad way.”
 
“Kaoru-kun, just because I’m doing my little brother doesn’t mean I’m unaware
of how gross it is.”
 
“Heh, fair enough! But that doesn’t mean I wanna rub your nose in it, or
anything...it’s not like you’re hurting anyone. Speaking of which...” Kaoru
lets his neck fall to the side again. “If it doesn’t hurt too much, I’d like to
try it.”
 
Ah. Shit. Any quip that was on his tongue is gone now that Rei’s mind is hyper-
focused on the long column of Kaoru’s neck, his eyes intently locked on it.
“…The one thing,” he breathes, “is that you’re going to have to trust me to
stop.”
 
“You’re...a vampire,” Kaoru says, as if this makes sense, as if this is the
kind of thing that happens for realevery day, not just a joking thing they say
to make their band sound cooler to groupies. “So...aren’t I basically trusting
you not to kill me all the time? Right? I know how strong you are, I know you
could kill me if you wanted to. Guess that means I trust you, right?” His pulse
thuds faster in anticipation, very little of it fear.
 
Rei bites down on a pathetic-sounding whimper. “How did I luck out like this?”
he murmurs aloud, slinking closer, splaying one hand against Kaoru’s thigh.
“You’re so sensible, it’s honestly kind of strange.”
 
He’s had his mouth on Kaoru’s neck at least a dozen times now, but being
invited to drink is something entirely different. The sound of Kaoru’s pulse
thudding faster makes his toes curl, the scent of him even thicker in Rei’s
nose, and he has to bury his face into the curve of Kaoru’s shoulder for a
moment, breathing in deep. Don’t do it, a part of his mind warns him, but it’s
a very small part, because Kaoru smells so good, Kaoru is telling him it’s
fine, and he’s so, so hungry…
 
When Rei strikes, it’s just shy of puncturing the artery twice like he would
with Ritsu, trusting it’ll heal fast enough to stop pumping out blood long
after he’s finished. It takes more self-control than he wants to admit to bite
shallowly, but he has to, he has to, and god, he’s glad he does, because he
first desperate swallow of blood makes him dizzy with the need for more.
 
If Kaoru had to compare the feeling of being bitten like a vampire with
anything, he’d have to say it feels a bit like getting a shot--needle-tiny,
then suddenly numb. The numbness doesn’t stop at his neck, but spreads in an
oddly delicious fashion through his entire body, making his fingers and toes
tingle, making him want to slowly writhe against Rei’s hold. Dimly, he wonders
if that’s evolution at work, making the prey go limp, but still want to squirm
around to accelerate blood flow. Biology class comes back to him at the
weirdest times, honestly.
 
Oddly enough, he feels his cock start to harden without any of his sensitive
places being touched, and he lets out a soft moan, eyes fluttering. “Is
that...good? It feels--it feels real good,” he slurs, hearing the words run
together on his tongue.
 
Two, three more swallows, that’s all Rei allows himself before his mind starts
veering towards instinct, not good sense. He draws back with a ragged gasp,
vision blurry and unfocused for a moment as he drags himself back to a reality
that doesn’t involve himself draining Kaoru dry. “You…Kaoru-kun, you taste so
fucking good,” Rei rasps, sucking the blood off of his own lower lip, his
fingers kneading into Kaoru’s thigh. He can still feel his pulse thrumming
there, powerful if not languid, and that means good, good, he didn’t go too
far. “It didn’t hurt, did it? Mnn, come here, let me…” Now he can kiss Kaoru’s
neck without wanting to die, without it feeling like he’s tormenting himself.
 
“Felt incredible,” Kaoru breathes. He tells his arms to reach for Rei, and
they’re sluggish to comply, lingering at his sides for a long moment before
finally stretching up around Rei’s back to pull him close, though they feel a
bit like dead fish attached to his torso. “Ahh...can’t move, much,” he admits
with a little giggle. “Take care of me, Sakuma-san, that felt so good and I
want you so bad...” His mind is fizzling pleasantly, all his worries drifting
away, every motion reminding him that Rei’s teeth had felt right in his skin.
 
“That doesn’t last—the not being able to move much thing,” Rei clarifies with a
laugh, shifting to better slide up between Kaoru’s thighs. “You’ll probably get
immune to it after awhile. Mm, this part, though…” Long fingers drag their way
up Kaoru’s hip before brushing against his cock. “Happens every damn time.
Pretty good deal if I’m taking care of you after, huh?”
 
Kaoru nods, then laughs at himself, somehow forcing his lazy legs to scoot
apart. “Not like you don’t make it that way other times. Like earlier. When it
was hard and you were licking it and then your brother showed up. Just saying,
please take care of me until the end this time.”
 
“If it happens again, just tell me if you want me to keep going while Ritsu is
here,” Rei wryly says, planting a last kiss to Kaoru’s neck before sliding his
way down. Actually, that thought should scare him more than turn him on, so
he’s going to have to dwell on that a bit more later. More importantly, Kaoru
is achingly hard, and pressing his lips to the head of his cock is necessary,
dragging his tongue against the tip to get a thorough, proper taste.
 
Hakaze Kaoru has had a lot of head in his life, but usually his voice doesn’t
spike into a sudden breathy moan that sounds too high and too excited to be
cool. Yeah, if Rei mocks him for that later he’ll just blame it on the venom,
clearly making him make weird sounds. For now, it’s far more important to focus
on Rei’s tongue on his cock, and the way he’d been so right about men being
better at this. “Rei,” he breathes, not really thinking about it, fingers
twisting in the sheets as his hips ache to jerk up against that wet hot
suction.
 
It’s weird, isn’t it, that Kaoru calling him by name goes straight to his cock?
Typically, that’s the kind of response that Rei associates with Onii-chan—but
so help him, this makes him groan, too, shifting eagerly to slide his hands
underneath Kaoru’s thighs, spreading them further as he sucks the head of
Kaoru’s cock into his mouth. His fingers twitch, maybe too-eager to be
preoccupied, but it’s Kaoru, and that’s sort of… “Mmn, Kaoru-kun,” he breathes,
pulling off with a slick, wet pop, tongue flicking out to snap that little
gossamer string of saliva before it gets too messy. “You should let me try
fingering you.”
 
“Okay,” Kaoru agrees, still too boneless and sort of high to remember that he
doesn’t really want to do anything of the sort. He squirms a little to get into
a better position, then just flops down with a laugh, letting Rei pull and
position him. “If I start hating it, just bite me again,” he says dreamily,
hips rutting up after that missing stimulus, hungry for a mouth on his cock
again, cock hard and dripping already.
 
Cute! Ridiculously, insanely cute! “Shh, shh, I’ll make it good,” Rei reassures
him, drawing back just long enough to figure out where he’d thrown his clothes
last night, which fortunately seems pretty close to the bed. His other sweater
pocket yields results, and he pulls out a packet of lube. “If you hate it, just
kick me.”
 
His fingers are slick when he flops back down between Kaoru’s legs, mouth back
on his cock, sucking up the little droplet beading at the tip before Kaoru can
complain about being neglected. This is probably the best (and only) chance
Rei’s going to have to prove that I’m good at this, I swear!, because any other
time, he can just imagine how tense and nervous Kaoru would be. Like this, he’s
deliciously floppy and squirmy, and sliding just one finger against his hole
makes Rei shiver before he carefully, gently eases it inside, all while
scooting up enough to let Kaoru’s cock slide further against his tongue,
letting it bump against the roof of his mouth when Rei turns his wrist for a
better angle to slide that finger in deep and slowly curl it.
 
Ah.
 
It’s kind of a new sensation, that’s for sure. Kaoru is sort of glad for that,
honestly; he’d sort of been afraid it would feel too much like, well, the only
thing he’s used to happening down there. There’s an initial resistance in his
mind, a horrified shrieking ofintrusion!! intrusion!! something is going where
nothing is supposed to go!! but it quiets down in a second, and there’s really
none of the pain he’d expected, just a super weird discomfort. “And that’s
seriously...just a finger?” he pants, throwing an arm over his face, certain
he’s turning weird colors. “It’s...so weird, man, humanity is a weird species
for doing this shit...”
 
Rei nearly chokes when he tries not to laugh, and pulls off of Kaoru’s cock
before he ends up with spit up his nose. “But you don’t seem to hate it,” he
hums, adjusting to get his hand at a better angle. “It feels better when
there’s more, one just feels kind of…eh.” He draws his hand slowly back, eyes
lidding as he lets a second finger brush against Kaoru’s hole. Expecting a bit
more of a reaction this time, Rei just lets his other hand busy itself with
Kaoru’s cock, thumbing down the underside of the head, squeezing it slowly
before he wriggles that second finger in, too, quicker about sliding them in
and stroking.
 
A noise somewhere between a squawk and a yelp comes out this time, and Kaoru’s
legs flail around ineffectually, eyes flying open in startled discomfort.
“Whoo! That’s...hmm! That’s different, ah, ahaha, yeah, that’s different, sure
is! Wow, haha, I hope, ah, uh, the neighbors aren’t, hnnnnn, gonna complain
about noise, they’re, oh, ah, wow, in for...” There’s sweat beading on his
forehead, but maybe if he babbles enough, that weird cramping pleasure will
start feeling good instead of really sort of traumatizing.
 
“Ahh, you’re such a straight boy, aren’t you?” Rei teases, hauling himself
upright to avoid being kicked in the face, but not removing his hand in the
slightest. Kneeling between Kaoru’s legs instead of flopping down there for a
blowjob makes it a lot easier to just drag him forward by the hips, letting
Kaoru’s kicking, twitching legs flail uselessly as he sinks his fingers in
until the second knuckle, wriggles them gently into a nice position, and with a
blithe smile, presses both fingers directly against Kaoru’s prostate for a
long, deliberate stroke, once found. “Kao~ru~kun~” he sing-songs. “I do know
what I’m doing, you know~”
 
For a second, Kaoru thinks Rei has bitten him again. It’s the same sudden whirl
of pleasure through his body, shooting into his extremities, making him
boneless and useless on the bed, writhing helplessly...but this time, it isn’t
accompanied by any weird lingering numbness, just more pleasure. His mouth
falls open, and dimly he hears himself whimpering, squirming to get his legs
farther apart. “That...that’s...” he pants, clutching at the bed. “That’s,
it’s, you can, oh, oh my god...”
 
Rei has yet to find a guy that didn’t have this particular switch, and that
apparently is true even with cute, wanna-be straight guys. Rei licks at his
lower lip, putting a bit more weight behind the thrust of his fingers inside
this time, his other hand closing around Kaoru’s hip to pull him down onto his
hand when he presses them in deeper. “Better, right?” he breathes. “I bet I can
make you come just from this.”
 
“Yeah?” Kaoru’s head thrashes to the side, and he groans with every slick rut
down against Rei’s hand, eyes rolling back into his head. “I dunno...it, hnn,
it doesn’t...ah, fuck, fuck, that’s so good, do it again--doesn’t feel like I’m
gonna come, just like--”
 
But the next second he’s yelping again, staring in confusion down at his cock
trembling and dribbling, way more than he usually comes but in a steady stream
instead of shooting out the end, so much it feels like he’s being drained and
milked rather than stimulated. “What,” he breathes, dreamy and shaking, his
nipples tingling for what feels like no adequate reason, “the shit is
happening?”
 
“Oh, it’s definitely a different way to go about it,” Rei hums, obviously very
pleased with himself, and not at all interested in dragging his hand away yet.
Kaoru hasn’t kicked him in the face yet, and he’s being so cute. “Personally, I
think it feels even better if you…here,” he says instead of continuing that
thought out loud, finding it much easier to explain through actions when Kaoru
isn’t pushing him away or kicking him and is so, so pliant right now. Pushing
that third finger inside happens easily now, and it’s much easier to milk out
the last spasms of Kaoru’s orgasm when he has three fingers stretching him,
filling him, and rubbing against that perfect little spot inside.
 
Kaoru collapses back onto the bed in a whimpering, overstimulated mess, pushing
mindlessly down on Rei’s fingers even as part of his brain warns him to pull
away, that it’s too much, that there’s no way he can take more. Suddenly being
full feels incredible, like something’s been missing from him since basically
forever that’s finally properly taken care of. “Fuck,” he whispers, sweat and
tears running off his face with a trickle of drool out of the corner of his
mouth as he pants heavily. “Fuck, fuck, don’t stop, I can’t take it anymore,
don’t--please--”
 
“Mm, mm, I’ve got you.” Even though he’s being begged don’t stop, Rei does make
the executive decision to back off, just a little. Easing his stroking is the
first step when Kaoru is this overstimulated, and drawing his fingers slowly
back, but not completely out, is the next one. “Give it a second,” he
soothingly says, leaning forward to run his fingers through Kaoru’s hair, to
mouth a kiss to the curve of his shoulder. “You’re doing so well, Kaoru-kun.
Ahah, I don’t want you to pass out, but you’ve already come like three times, I
think?”
 
Kaoru attempts to turn to the side, gives up, and just flops back, nodding
mindlessly. “Fuck, yeah, I don’t even know. Neeeeh, Rei, you’re being so good
to me, take care of me...I need to be cuddled, please...I’m so cute, I need to
be cuddled...” He’s apparently just going to say nonsense now, which sounds
fair, since he feels like all of his bones have disintegrated.
 
If he were a bad person, he could probably easily convince Kaoru to let him put
his dick in riiiight now. But…well, he has been sort of trained to particularly
enjoy this kind of behavior his whole life, heh. “You are so cute,” Rei happily
agrees instead, slowly pulling his fingers out the rest of the way, and
immediately launches down to snuggle up against Kaoru, burying his face down
into his neck. “Kaoru-kun is very cute when he calls my name…mmn, do that more,
it makes me want to spoil you.”
 
Kaoru gives him a sweet, lazy grin, leaning up to press a kiss to Rei’s temple.
“You should know by now how much I like being spoiled, heh. Maaan, I’m so mad
that felt so good, I was sure I was gonna hate it, you know? But...ahhh. I’m
not sure I’ve ever felt so good after sex.” He wraps his arms and legs around
Rei, nuzzling in close, replete and satiated.
 
“You said the same thing after last night,” Rei points out to him, thoroughly
amused, and nestles close to get all of his own limbs around Kaoru, contently
imagining them to be tentacles with a great number of suckers to remain
attached with. “Do I keep one-upping myself? Or are you just saying that to
make me feel better, hmm?”
 
“You’re just jealous,” Kaoru hums happily, stretching out his toes before
flopping contentedly down at last. “Because I get blowjobs from Sakuma Rei.”
 
“I mean,” Rei hedges, stifling a laugh into Kaoru’s hair. “Funny, I never even
thought that was my best talent in bed. Nn, let me put it in sometime,” he
wheedles against Kaoru’s ear, gently nipping at his ear lobe. “I’m really good
at that, too.”
 
“Hmmm.” Kaoru pretends to think about that for a long minute, then winks. “As
long as you promise it won’t kill me. Because if it’s like what just happened
but more, I’ll probably die of orgasms.”
 
“If you try to die on me, I’ll just turn you into a vampire,” Rei flippantly
says, idly pressing a kiss over where he bit earlier, the mark so subtle that
anyone unaware probably wouldn’t even notice it. “I’ll take good care of you,
you know that.”
 
“Yeah, I know. You always have so far.” Kaoru messes up Rei’s hair on purpose,
then tugs on one long strand. “Just let me take care of you, too. I get a
feeling no one is doing a very good job so far.”
 
Huh. Rei didn’t exactly expect that statement to immediately bring stinging
tears to his eyes, but hoo, boy, it’s just one of those weeks. “Ah, wrong,
you’re wrong,” he dismissively laughs, sniffing once and holding off his
overemotional bullshit for another part of the day. “You were a delight last
night. 10 out of 10, would get shoved into a wall again.”
 
“Speaking of taking care of you...” Kaoru trails a finger down Rei’s neck,
pausing at his chest. “You need to go? I’m not quite up to the full shebang,
but I’ve got hands and a mouth that I could use some more practice with.”
 
“…You could let me put it it here.” Rei snakes a hand up between Kaoru’s
thighs, thumb dragging over one of the hickeys he’d left there earlier. “You
have nice thighs,” he shamelessly says, shrugging. “That’s why I always make
you wear leather, so help me.”
 
“No offense, Sakuma-san, but I totally knew that.”
 
Kaoru turns over, pressing his thighs together. “Yay, this way I won’t get
pregnant. Right, baby?”
 
Oh, no, he’s so cute, Rei helplessly thinks, and finds himself just as helpless
when he buries his face into the back of Kaoru’s neck, a surge of affection
making it impossible to do anything but kiss and nuzzle there as he wriggles up
behind him. “If you ‘totally knew that’, maybe you shouldn’t have been so
surprised when I announced to you that I was a big homo,” he teases, a hand
curling around his own cock to guide it, easing it between Kaoru’s thighs with
a soft, hitching exhale.
 
Kaoru turns his head, nuzzling against Rei’s cheek, an easy little grin on his
face. He’s never been on this side of this position before, but it’s kind of
awesome--he doesn’t need to do any real work, he can just enjoy the effects of
his movements, squeezing and arching if he wants to watch Rei gasp and groan--
and oh, he does. “I mean, I was surprised you admitted it,” he allows, faking a
little nip of his teeth at Rei’s nose, then squeezing his thighs together
around that thick cock. “I thought an old man would have a little more
discretion, you know?”
 
“Fuck,” Rei mutters distractedly, gnawing on his lower lip for a moment as he
resists the urge to just flip Kaoru over, hold him down, and get off that way.
His fingers twitch against Kaoru’s hips, tempted. It’s a rare day that he gets
to take his time, because Ritsu has always been nothing but demanding,
insisting he hurry up and finish, and that’s usually great, but… “I don’t know
the meaning of the word,” he says with a breathless laugh, slowly rocking
forward, savoring the way the soft, soft skin of Kaoru’s thighs feel around his
cock, and the way just the tiniest squeeze of them together makes his breath
hiccup. Soft skin over lean muscle is probably the best thing in the world, to
be honest, and it just gets slicker each time he drags his cock back. “I, ah…I
just don’t tell anyone outright over here, except that one time with you.
England spoiled me for anything else.”
 
“England sounds fun,” Kaoru murmurs, and reaches down, lacing his fingers over
Rei’s on his own hip, squeezing that cool hand. He smiles softly, almost
forgetting he’s supposed to be sexy, and adds, “You should take me there
someday. They have nude beaches, you know? With lots of European girls, and
cool clubs where they can play our music...Ahhh, I want you to fuck me with our
music on sometime.”
 
Whoo. Okay. That doesn’t make him about twenty times closer to coming
immediately or anything. “Fuck you, don’t tell me that when I’m trying to take
my time,” Rei helplessly groans, shoving his face down into Kaoru’s neck again,
his fingers squeezing tight around Kaoru’s. “I’ll take you to England the
second we get famous, wherever you want.” He’s too hard to think straight, but
it still seems like a pretty good idea, even when he gives up and pushes
Kaoru’s hand down so that the head of his cock can rub and grind against it
when he thrusts forward.
 
Kaoru laughs, letting the palm of his hand rub firmly over Rei’s cock with
every thrust, feeling it slick and eager for him, thrilled that he’s the one
who made it that way, that’s getting Rei so close to coming all over his
thighs. “Yeah, nice, we can do whatever we want, right? We can stay in a dark
hotel room all day, or go out and sign autographs, maybe go to a club and dance
real sleazy? Teach me how to grind, Rei...” That name drop is anything but
accidental, especially when he breathes it out while tightening his thighs,
eyes flicking back to catch Rei’s reaction.
 
His own name shouldn’t have such an effect on him, but here he is, coming all
over Kaoru’s hand and thighs like a teenager with a hair-trigger again—and he
doesn’t even feel bad about it.
 
“Kaoooruu…” Rei whimpers, shoving his face down into his neck, his breathing
ragged and hot against his skin when he ruts forward, drawing out the lingering
waves and twitches of his orgasm. He huffs, planting a long, sucking kiss to
Kaoru’s shoulder, somewhere that clothes will hide, but it’s still satisfying
enough to leave a mark even just like that when he’s feeling dazed and flushed
and clingy. “Not fair…I wanted that to last, your thighs are so nice…”
 
“Eh? Sorry.” Kaoru doesn’t sound too apologetic, though, and he beams. “It was
fun, though, right? And it’s not like we can’t do it again whenever you want,
baby.”
 
“I’m gonna bite you again if you don’t stop turning me on every five seconds.”
 
“Now, that’s just not fair! I’m naturally sexy, don’t punish me for god’s
gifts.”
 
“At least you take responsibility for it,” Rei relents, and buries his face
back down into Kaoru’s hair as he cuddles up behind him, content to stay there
until he’s forcibly removed. “Part~ner.”
***** Chapter 9 *****
It turns out that being decently well-fed, in housing that suits all of his
needs, and without a million and one issues with school, Ritsu, and
incompetence to deal with, Rei feels more creative than he has in a solid two
years.
 
Begrudgingly, he has to admit that it feels something like England again. Away
from every single stressor, he can actually work, enjoying the idea of sitting
down in front of a piano again instead of finding it a task for some
meaningless assignment or a Live that he doesn’t really want to do, anyway.
It’s even nicer now, when he has a bedroom that isn’t constantly broken into by
needy little brothers or obnoxious parents; a bedroom where there aren’t any
windows to ruin his day; a bedroom stuffed to the brim with his coffin, his
piano, both of his violins, shelves and shelves of music and manuscript paper
and every other little thing he’s managed to stow away from his parents’ house
after being kicked out…
 
Which is why, admittedly, he loses track of time, and doesn’t realize it.
 
Nearly five days after signing their contract for their first record deal, Rei
emerges, yawning, dazed, and languidly attempting to figure out the layout of
their apartment again. Tomato juice, that sounds good—he’s fairly certain he
didn’t go through all of that a few days ago…or did he? Was it yesterday that
Kaoru knocked on his door to make sure he was alive, or was that a few hours
ago? He can’t recall that, either. He shuffles his way to the kitchen, socked
feet making barely a sound across the floor, and he flops against the counter,
considering his next plan of action. Maybe he should call Ritsu, but did he do
that the other day? It’s a mystery.
 
“Ooh, he’s alive!”
 
Kaoru emerges from his own open room, yawning a little in the afternoon light,
hair freshly mussed from a nap. He flashes a peace sign, then grabs a box of
Cornflakes and a carton of milk, then sits at the table, chomping happily away.
“Like what I did with the place? Dad’s folks came by to put the furniture in
over the last few days while you were...uh, busy.” Missing?
 
Rei squints over at Kaoru, remembering that, ah, yes, he lives with this sun-
shiny creature now, and that’s kind of delightful. “I forgot for a moment that
you were also here,” he finally says, tilting his head to stare out into the
living room, which is now furnished, so that’s nice. “Kaoru-kun…your family has
expensive taste, don’t they. Is that…is that a kotatsu.”
 
“Yeah, but in the summer I just use it like a table. Just don’t turn the heater
on, you know?” Kaoru swallows a bite of cereal, then grins. “Don’t worry, I got
a nice squishy pad to put down under it. That way even an old man’s bones won’t
get all creaky, right?”
 
Slowly, Rei drifts from the kitchen, into the living room, and directly
underneath the kotatsu. “Summer or not, I’m turning it on.”
 
“Eh? It’s over thirty degrees out, Sakuma-san...you sure you want to do that?
It’s not even plugged in...”
 
“Plug it in for me, I need it.”
 
Kaoru stares for a moment, then gets up, leaving his Cornflakes to get soggy as
he searches out a power strip. “I guess this is my life now, eh? I mean, could
be worse, could be worse. There’s supposed to be a great surfing event this
weekend in Tanegashima, wanna come with me?”
 
The noise Rei makes sounds rather like a dying animal as he huddles under the
kotatsu in anticipation. “And go on the beach? Out in the sun? I’ll die, I’ll
die…I haven’t even unpacked my summer arm covers, and the winter ones are too
thin…”
 
“Arm covers? Like an old farm lady?” Kaoru tries to picture it--and it’s easier
than he’d expected to imagine Sakuma Rei wearing huge floral-print arm covers
and an enormous wide-brimmed hat, happily waving as he pushes his wheelbarrow
from farm to home. “Are you gonna get cat-back, too? Do I have to look forward
to towering over you?”
 
“That sounds nice,” Rei wistfully says, flattening himself onto his stomach
with his arms straight out. Only his head and arms poke out from the kotatsu
now that he’s gotten situated, and he looks very pleased about getting ready to
roast. “The summers have been so bad in the past few years that I haven’t been
able to develop my cat-back properly, ahaha. When I was younger, I was always
out in the garden, but that was before I was a vampire. Now I don’t want to
turn crispy. Ahh, why do there have to be windows in here, that’s not fair…”
 
Kaoru squats down next to Rei, affectionately mussing his hair. “You look like
a proper snail now, Sakuma-san. I assume you’ll be there until next summer at
least. Do vampires need to use the toilet?”
 
“Why can’t I be a kotatsu bat instead of a kotatsu snail,” Rei laments, staring
up at Kaoru. “Vampires have much slower metabolic and digestive systems than
humans. That’s why I can go so long without eating. Did I drink all of my
tomato juice, or did I just imagine it?”
 
Kaoru’s brow furrows, and his head slowly tilts to the side. “You...don’t
remember the tomato juice conversations?”
 
“I don’t remember leaving my room, to be completely honest. Do you remember if
I called Ritsu?”
 
“You saw him. He came over. With tomato juice, because for some reason you
called him and asked for some instead of asking me, who lives with you. And you
patted his head and said, ‘Good girl,’ and he called you a gross bug and left.”
 
“Oooh.” Rei blinks, his head tilting to the side before he nods, satisfied.
“That does sound like me. I don’t remember that, but good, I’m glad that I’ve
seen him recently. I feel like he’d be upset otherwise.”
 
“Ah...yeah.” Ooh, this is gonna be kind of a surprise, if the other thing was.
Kaoru debates saying something, but he’s going to have to at some point,
obviously. “Do you...remember what I asked you about on Tuesday? The advice I
asked you for? And the advice you gave me?”
 
“Nope,” Rei cheerfully answers, plopping his chin down into his hands. “Not
even the slightest, my apologies.”
 
“Huh. Then I guess this is really going to be a surprise,” Kaoru says with a
shrug, and takes off his shirt.
 
Rei opens his mouth to ask Kaoru what on earth he’s going on about—but. Ah.
That’s not really necessary, because it’s as clear as day. His mouth shuts,
then opens again. “You know,” Rei slowly says, drumming a pair of fingers
against his own mouth as he stares at Kaoru’s rather freshly-pierced nipples.
“I feel like this is something I would have encouraged.”
 
“I thought you wanted me to do it! You said it was for the future of Undead!”
Kaoru feels a little stupid, looking down at the metal bars through his rather
sore nipples--but hey, at least they’re sexy. He huffs, leaning back on his
hands. “I hope the music you composed was worth it, man.”
 
“Oh, it is. Both things, I mean, your nipples for the future of Undead, and my
music, it’s fantastic.” Rei resists the urge to reach out and touch, but only
barely, because he’s getting the full experience just hearing how the blood in
Kaoru’s veins thrums differently there. That’s not erotic or anything. “How
long until I can play with those and you won’t kill me.” Whoops.
 
That’s a way better reaction, and Kaoru flashes a grin, reaching for his shirt
to tug it on. “Two weeks from yesterday. Koga’s is about the same, but you’re
not playing with that.”
 
Rei’s face falls. “Oh. Oh, god. I didn’t encourage him, did I?”
 
“You called him, Sakuma-san.”
 
“No. Nooo. Don’t let me do that!”
 
“Well, I didn’t know you got all...spacey and dissociative! You gotta tell me
if there’s something you want me to protect you from, you know!” Kaoru huffs.
“Just for that, maybe I shouldn’t tell you what he got pierced.”
 
“I haven’t had a chance to compose like this since I was in England, how was I
supposed to know it would get this bad?” Rei whimpers, flopping his head down
into his arms. “God, just tell me so I can be really uninterested when he shows
up.”
 
Kaoru contemplates that for a minute, then shakes his head, returning to his
Cornflakes. “Hmm...nah. I’ll tell you this weekend, if you come to Tanegashima
with me.”
 
“What? No, I’ll die,” Rei protests, lifting his head again so fast that it
makes him dizzy. “Kaoru-kuuuun, I’m not a beach creature, I’m a creature of the
night, damned to spend my life in the cover of darkness—“
 
“But I’ll bring a big umbrella! And you can wear your old lady arm warmers and
big heart-shaped sunglasses and cheer for me while I surf and drink big fruity
sodas, doesn’t that sound at least kind of fun?”
 
“I mean…I mean, in theory, but, it’ll be so hot and bright and…” Rei frowns,
and then one, sudden thought makes him start to tear up. “I…I just got back to
a solid practice schedule, what if Carlotta and Adelaide miss me, or think I’ve
abandoned them again? Ahh…” He slowly flattens to the floor again, as if the
kotatsu’s heat is actually melting him.
 
Kaoru sighs, then pats Rei’s head. “Okay, okay, don’t look so blue. I’ll just
go on my own, I’m sure I’l make friends there. Hey, you want something to eat?”
 
“You.” Rei paws weakly at Kaoru’s ankle. “Kaoru-kun. I don’t even know where
Tanegashima is.”
 
“Ah...about as far south as you can go without being in Okinawa, I believe.”
Kaoru beams. “We can take my car. I think it’s a two, maybe three-day trip? My
older brother picked up a foreign hitchhiker once, doesn’t that sound like
fun?”
 
“No. Do you drive with the top down all the time?”
 
“If it’s you, I’ll put it up in the daytime,” Kaoru bargains. “Come on, don’t
make me wait until the good surf is up at Yokohama, all the beaches there are
always so crowded...”
 
The noise Rei makes is decidedly skeptical, and he slinks back underneath the
kotatsu a bit more. “If I go,” he carefully begins, “and I come back, and
Carlotta hates me again, I’m making you walk down during the day to take her to
be restrung in Kanagawa.”
 
“...Whether I say yes to that is entirely dependent on whether Carlotta is your
violin or your piano, Sakuma-san.”
 
“You haven’t even introduced yourself properly. I can’t believe this.”
 
“You walked your piano in here, by yourself, then locked yourself in a room
with it and the rest of your instruments for five days.”
 
“Yes.” Rei stares up at him, unsure why this is something even worth
mentioning. “Yes, I did. I mean, I don’t remember the five days part. But I
remember the first bit.”
 
Kaoru sighs, then straightens up, offering down a helping hand. “You want to
introduce me now? Properly, like you said? It wouldn’t do for me to not know
the ladies in our apartment, of course.”
 
Reluctantly, Rei reaches out to take Kaoru’s hand, letting himself be pulled
from the seductive warmth of the kotatsu. It’s even big enough for him, legs
and all, and Rei knows he’s going to end up living underneath it soon enough.
“If you flirt with them too much, you’ll ruin them. They’re pure, so behave
yourself.”
 
Kaoru at least knows Rei well enough by now to tell a joke when he doesn’t hear
one, and he doesn’t now. Instead of laughing, he tugs Rei up, then over to his
room. “No worries, I’ll keep it to some cute light flirting. Girls love that. I
don’t know if it’s the same if you’re a guy, but...”
 
“Guys enjoy that, too, but these are pure girls, so be good.” Rei lets himself
be pulled, neatly tripping over the frayed hems of pajamas that should have
been tossed years ago, and he spares a longing glance over his shoulder into
the kitchen. “So did I drink all of my tomato juice?”
 
“You did. And left the container on the floor, for some reason.” Kaoru winks,
and reaches down to deal a swift pinch to Rei’s ass. “So you better be grateful
that I went out to a conbini in the middle of the night to get you more. It’s
in the fridge.”
 
“Kaoru-kun is my savior,” Rei happily sighs, and to his credit, doesn’t
immediately drag Kaoru back to the kitchen to procure the juice in question.
Instead, he stumbles his way to his room, which is definitely pitch black.
“Right, right, humans can’t do this part,” he mutters, flipping on the light
switch as if he can see it as clear as day on the wall (he can), illuminating
his cave with a single overhead light.
 
One would think it would be impossible to fit as much in a reasonably small
room as Sakuma Rei has, but one would be wrong. His upright piano does take up
a sizable bit of it—the grand was simply impossible, and he’d shed some tears
over that—and so does his coffin, but there’s still somehow room for a floor to
ceiling bookcase full of music, another keyboard, and an overflowing closet
full of more music and at least a second violin case stuffed underneath his
clothes. His desk in the corner, for being intensely occupied over the past
week, is somehow not a hot mess, with piles of manuscript stacked neatly, if
not everywhere, plus his violin set carefully in its stand. “I wrote most of
our album, I think,” Rei blissfully says. “A new set list in less than a week,
I’m the best.” 
 
Kaoru’s eyes widen, and not just from the darkness as he looks around. “This
is...kinda awesome? Dang, it’s like the old light music club room, just with
less guitars and drums and stuff. You seriously wrote the whole album, just
like that?” He whistles low under his breath, impressed.
 
“My drum set won’t fit in here and I made the executive decision to not get us
kicked out by wanting to fuck around with it. Everyone likes a pianist, no one
likes a percussionist.” Rei plops himself down onto the piano bench. “My
parents would never let me have all my instruments in my room like this—they
made me practice out in the open, isn’t that obnoxious? I suppose it was to
keep me from being a shut-in, but I’m old now and no one cares. Anyway, this is
Adelaide,” Rei introduces, giving the upright Bechstein piano a gentle pat.
“I’ll be rude for a moment and accuse her of being terrible for anything other
than recording sessions, but that is my life, I suppose, so in a way, she’s
perfect.”
 
Isn’t a piano a piano? Kaoru wants to ask, but the fondness in Rei’s voice
makes him keep that behind his teeth. The musicians he knows are always so
weird about their instruments and stuff. He gives a little bow, then a
trademark wink to the piano, hoping that’s acceptable. “Hello, gorgeous lady.
Glad to hear I’ll be hearing a lot of your lovely noises in the future.”
 
“Good, you’re being very mild. She’s a delicate sort. Not like Beatrice, that
hussy.” That’s a story for another time, maybe. “And this,” Rei sighs, reaching
over towards his desk to scoop up his violin, “is Carlotta. You’ll have to deal
with her attitude an awful lot, my apologies. I’ll admit, I can’t believe
Kaoru-kun’s super traditional family never stuck a violin in his hand…”
 
“My brother was the musician,” Kaoru says absently, patting the piano’s smooth
wooden surface. “Piano, you know? Sister did flute, just enough to count as an
extracurricular to get into a better college. They both went to a Big Seven.
And then there’s me, the family disgrace.”
 
Rei scoots over, patting to a spot on the piano bench next to him, and rests
his violin across his lap. “Like I’ve said before, I think it’s more
disgraceful to learn an instrument for that sort of thing rather than just opt
out entirely…but, to each their own. They can’t possibly think you’re a
disgrace, you have a record deal straight out of high school.”
 
Kaoru sighs, then puts on a deep, stern voice, straightening his shoulders
before lecturing, “You got an A minus? Why not an A plus? What kind of a class
is ‘performance,’ anyway? Sometime so boring, you can’t even get good grades?
Why do you have to bleach your hair? Why can’t you be like your brother and go
to Toudai? Do you know what we call old musicians in my line of work? Homeless.
Surfer boys just want to sit in the park with other reggae-grandpas. If your
hair is that color, you must be on foreign drugs. That record label sounds
fake, what kind of company wants to hire high school children with no
university prospects?”
 
“…You know, that’s…” Rei attempts after a short pause. “Well. I didn’t think
parents actually said that sort of thing for real. I thought they only did that
in bad dramas.”
 
“My dad is basically the strict dad stereotype all of those drama dads were
based on,” Kaoru says glumly. “He already told me that he’s only co-signing on
this apartment so the furniture he bought us won’t get thrown out when we
inevitably lose our jobs and get thrown onto the street.”
 
“Ah. I mean, that’s almost fair.” Rei pushes a strand of hair out of his face,
and grimaces, realizing that he probably needs a shower. “I’m getting the
impression he should never meet me, because I like sitting in the park with
reggae-grandpas, have tried foreign drugs, and absolutely have been homeless.
At least he’s rightfully concerned.”
 
Kaoru laughs, and slings an arm around Rei’s shoulders. “Why do you think I
wanted to move in with you so bad before we even started dating, hmm?”
 
“…To make your father furious,” Rei concludes, finally getting it. “Oooh. I
really am the bad influence friend now. I must make you look like an angel.”
 
“...more like I wanted to see what I was missing out on,” Kaoru says, squeezing
a little. “Because everything he’s ever told me not to do has worked out pretty
awesome. Hey, I wonder what he’d say about my nipples.”
 
“‘What good woman wants a man with that’, or something like it. I don’t know
what normal parents get upset about, actually.” Rei sways with Kaoru’s squeeze,
and flops his head onto his shoulder. “At least he thinks you’re straight,
right?”
 
The smile fades. “Not...really,” Kaoru admits, with something like a grimace.
He reaches out, fingers settling onto the keys of the piano, plinking out a
half-remembered Mary Had a Little Lamb. “When I was younger I used to have a
lot of guy friends over a lot. It was never a big deal until for some reason
Dad got weird about it after I dyed my hair. Then all of a sudden he’d ask me
weird stuff whenever I sat on one of their laps or hugged them or we were
wrestling or whatever, like whether I was enjoying myself too much. I mean, we
were just kids messing around, you know?”
 
“…Every single kid in Japan does that,” Rei wryly says, shifting to set his
violin back onto its stand on his desk. With a bemused shake of his head, Rei
sets his fingers to the piano keys, compulsively matching Kaoru’s plinking with
a bass line chord progression. “Sounds like your dad has his own repression
issues he needs to work through, frankly.”
 
“Yeah, I dunno what he has against skinship. Maybe he just hates it when I have
fun. Eh, I’m complaining a lot, but at least I know he’s got my best interests
at heart, you know? Your folks are just shit.” The rhythm feels familiar, and
Kaoru changes tunes to a super cool rendition of Hot Cross Buns, a little less
stilted than the first.
 
“Giving him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he got in trouble as a child and
doesn’t want the same thing to happen to you.” Ah, yes, good ole Hot Cross
Buns. Time to make it jazzy. “My parents liked me well enough until I decided I
wanted to be a rockstar because my little brother thought classical music was
lame.”
 
“...he’s not, like, wrong,” Kaoru teases. “I mean, I bet you were great at it,
but isn’t classical super stuffy? You’re the one that made me like jazz.”
 
Rei’s face lights up like a Christmas tree. “Eh? Really? I did? Ahh, that makes
me so happy…” Beaming, he plucks out another line of blues chords. “I try to
bring it into our music whenever I can—Honey Milk, you know? But I have to tone
it down, usually. Jazz itself just isn’t as marketable.” His smile twists wry.
“If I had listened to my parents and not Ritsu, I could’ve been a violinist
with the Japan Philharmonic by now, I know. Sometimes, I still think about that
as a backup plan…but I’d have to cut my hair and be so normal.”
 
“Doesn’t sound like you.” Kaoru nudges Rei’s shoulder, a crooked grin on his
face. “Don’t give up on our starving artist dream yet, Sakuma-san. I’ve still
got a lot of disappointing my parents to do, and we’re not even famous yet.”
 
“I deliberately switched courses in England to jazz dance instead of violin to
piss my parents off and to make sure I was held back a year at Yumenosaki.
Believe me, I’m so ready to starve.”
 
Kaoru’s fingers start to cramp, and he removes them from the keys with a sigh.
“I never kept up on piano, obviously. I’ll leave the really talented music
stuff in your care, then. Leave the winking and flirting and stage presence to
me. We’re a good team, right?”
 
“There’s no one else I would rather be doing this with.” Rei nudges his knee
against Kaoru’s. “But you should really let me at least teach you guitar, so
more girls think you’re hot.”
 
“I thought you said it was despicable to learn an instrument just so girls
would like me.” Kaoru nudges back, feeling very much like the grade schoolers
trying not to get caught sending each other signals. “And I’ve already got the
attention of the one I really want. No guitar callouses on my nice hands
necessary.”
 
“Yes, yes, it’s despicable,” Rei begins, reaching across Kaoru to trail his way
down an extended jazz run, “but I want to watch you play guitar, follow along.
I’ll go to the beach with you if you even just let me put one in your hands.”
 
Kaoru considers this for approximately a tenth of a second. “Done. I’ll play
guitar any time you want to come to the beach with me. Eh, that might actually
be fun...not on the beach, I’m not one of those bums, sand and ocean water
don’t need to get into nice instruments.”
 
One of Rei’s hands immediately drops to Kaoru’s leg. “You’re husband material.
Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.”
 
***** Chapter 10 *****
It’s just past four am, three months into Rei and Kaoru sharing an apartment,
when Kaoru knocks on Rei’s door. “Sakuma-san,” he calls, sleepy and not
entirely pleased with being awake, “your little brother is trying to break down
the--”
 
Ritsu shoves past him without a word, launching full-force into Rei’s coffin,
burying his face in Rei’s chest and going still. His face is wet with tears,
body trembling, and the despair radiates off of him like thick dark waves,
strong enough that Kaoru steps back, hands up, retreating from the room.
 
That’s one way to be disturbed out of a pre-sleep coma, earbuds in. “Ri—ah,
sorry, Kaoru-kun,” Rei weakly calls after Kaoru as the door shuts, pulling his
already jostled earbuds out entirely as he immediately takes to the task of his
currently shaking, crying, traumatized little brother.
 
Who do I need to kill? It’s not good that such a thing is his first line of
thinking, Rei knows, but it’s reflexive at this point in his life. Logically,
Rei also knows it can only be a few things that set Ritsu off like this, and
all of those things fill him with dread. “Ritsu…Ritsu, love, calm down.” Rei
shifts, reaching to tug the lid of his coffin closed, smothering them in proper
darkness. “Tell me what happened.”
 
“He doesn’t love me.” Ritsu hates the words, the childishness of them, the way
his voice goes high and broken and wrecked when he says them, and he strikes
out, slamming a hand into the side of the coffin. Fortunately, it’s built for
Rei and his sleep-kicking, so it’s pretty much indestructible, but the impact
feels good rattling his bones nonetheless. “I hate this! I hate him, I hate
everyone, I’m quitting school and moving in here because you’re the only person
who doesn’t hate me, and I’m never leaving this coffin again! It’s where I
belong!”
 
Rei flinches when Ritsu lashes out so violently, and he hastens to grab his
wrists, trying to restrain him so Ritsu doesn’t hurt himself, if nothing else.
“Ritsu, tell me what happened,” he quietly tries, fingers gently squeezing. “No
one hates you. I know Isara-kun doesn’t hate you.” Because that’s the only
person this could be about, obviously. “If something happened, it must be a
misunderstanding.”
 
“Maa-kun broke up with me.” The words make him shake harder, trembling in Rei’s
hold, feeling as if he’s going to throw up again like he’d done twice on the
way here. “So. You’re wrong.”
 
I’m going to kill Isara, Rei tiredly thinks, shutting his eyes against the
intense weariness that suddenly hits him like a brick to the face. “What did he
say? Ritsu, maybe you misunderstood…” It wouldn’t be the first time, but Rei
doesn’t say that.
 
“H-him and Trickstar are going on tour. They got signed.” Ritsu wipes his nose
on Rei’s shirt, and it immediately starts running freely again. “I asked him
where we were gonna stay. H-he said I wasn’t invited--that he didn’t think I
should come--that I was being dumb--that I needed to figure out what I want to
do and then we could maybe date, but...but I did!”
 
Ritsu raises his face, tear-streaked and wretched, with red puffy eyes and
tears coursing down his cheeks and chin. “I th-thought he wanted me to get a
job, so I signed with my agency--I th-thought he wanted me to, to get up in the
mornings, so I did, and now--now I don’t know what to do, and--and I’m s-s-s-so
sick of not being good enough for him!”
 
Ah. For once, that’s not misunderstanding. That’s a clear and firm statement
that Mao has given Ritsu—you aren’t good enough, you’re too much work, I’m too
busy to deal with you. Rei isn’t sure how to spin that into something
optimistic or positive, though he knows he should be trying, for Ritsu’s sake,
and he says nothing for a moment, the empathetic ache in his chest making it
hard to even think. “I’m sorry, Ritsu,” he finally says, gently tugging Ritsu
back down into his chest. “You’ve been trying so hard, I know you have.”
 
Ritsu cries so hard it feels like his heart has exploded, until his face feels
raw and sore and aching, until his throat is so raw that it sticks together
with every swallow. He cries until he can’t breathe, gasping for air in panic,
his body trying to seize up with every frantic inhale that sends him into
another spasm.
 
Rei says nothing—there’s nothing to say, nothing at all, is there? Nothing that
will make Ritsu feel better, or make him feel like he isn’t just being pandered
to. Rei has been there dozens of times, and it hurts like nothing else. At
least Ritsu has him to cry on until he can’t cry anymore, which is a step above
the lowest of low points Rei has had in his measly little lifetime.
 
It’s only when Ritsu starts that kind of dry heave sobbing that’s the worst
that Rei stops just petting and holding him, and grabs for his iPod, sticking
one of the earbuds into Ritsu’s ear and flipping through to their old, shared
playlist. “I bet we could cover this stuff better at karaoke now better than
ever before, hmm?” he softly says, not expecting a response, not needing one,
and grabs a handful of tissues to start dabbing gently at Ritsu’s face. “When I
start making real money, I’ll fund a duet album with you myself. You still have
to sing the girl parts, though, sorry.”
 
Slowly, slowly, the sounds filter through the utter misery wrecking Ritsu’s
small body, until measures and beats replace the shivering and dry heaving and
coughing. He squeezes his eyes tightly shut, trying to will everything out of
existence except Rei, except the music, except the two things that will never,
ever leave him wondering why he isn’t good enough.
 
Finally, three songs in, the shuddering stops. He curls up, hands latching onto
Rei’s shirt, pulling himself close like he has so many countless times as a
child, feeling lost and alone and frustrated about why the world doesn’t make
any sense, like all the people are too-loud and too-fast and everyone but him
is in on the same jokes, like his stories are ‘creepy’ and his jokes are
‘weird,’ like when he tries to be cute it’s ‘rude’ and when he tries his best
he’s being ‘lazy.” Tears still drip from his eyes, but the spasms have passed,
leaving him utterly exhausted, but too raw to sleep. “Onii-chan,” he whispers,
burying his face again. “Love you.”
 
Rei exhales a long, even breath, tugging up one of his decidedly overly-squishy
microfiber blankets up to cocoon Ritsu in it properly. This is better, calmer
at least, much more manageable, and it’s good to know he hasn’t entirely lost
his touch. “I love you, too, Ritsu.” He buries his face into Ritsu’s hair,
planting a kiss there. “You know I’m not going to leave you, right? You can
move in right now and live in my coffin.”
 
“You’re gonna have to take care of me forever,” Ritsu whispers, sort of
attempting to burrow into Rei’s chest far enough that he’s actually under the
skin. “Everyone else gets sick of me. I won’t--you can keep dating Kaoru-kun,
I’ll just...be here.”
 
Rei unbuttons his sweater, shoves Ritsu into it, and then buttons it back up
again so that they can become some kind of horrific sewn-together creature. “No
one else has good taste. Ritsu, I love you. You say ‘you have to take care of
me forever’ like that’s something I don’t want to do.” This is stressful~, his
mind sing-songs at him, but Rei firmly ignores it, as much as he ignores Ritsu
acknowledging that he and Kaoru are an item. “The only thing I’ll put my foot
down about is you dropping out of school. You’ve come this far, just finish
it.”
 
“A degree from Yumenosaki doesn’t mean anything, though...I already got signed
at my agency, so what’s the point? I can contribute to rent.” Ritsu curls up
against his chest, starting to breathe easier, though it’s less because he
feels good and more because it feels like his hurts have been scraped out of
him with a rusty knife--the wounds left from the cleaning hurt worse than
anything. “I actually have, like, a lot in savings because I don’t care about
buying anything, you can have it.”
 
“But it’s still a high school degree, just in case,” Rei insists, gently
catching Ritsu’s chin in one hand and lifting his face enough to finish wiping
it clean with the hem of his sleeve. “Just hold onto your money, we’re doing
okay here. Do you still want to be a model? If you need a break, Ritsu, that’s
fine, too.”
 
“I don’t wanna be useless. I’m not useless.” Ritsu blows obediently on Rei’s
sleeve, blinking swollen bloodshot eyes up at him. “You know I’m trying hard,
right? You...you know how hard it is for me to relate to people, right?”
 
“I know,” Rei sympathetically says, giving Ritsu’s nose a last, dutiful dab
before withdrawing his sleeve. “You know I know. I don’t think it’s your fault.
People, they just…I think they have a hard time with people like us. I’m just a
little better at faking what they want to see, you know?”
 
“I wish I could blame the vampire thing.” Ritsu sniffles, but this time nothing
comes out, and he flops to the side, exhausted and raw. “But I’ve always been
like this. You...you got really good at people, Onii-chan.”
 
“Because I didn’t want you to have to deal with them. I guess it’s a lot my
fault.” Rei’s mouth twists, and he follows Ritsu’s flopping, nuzzling his face
into his hair. “But I don’t think you’re useless,” he quietly adds. “Did you
ask Isara-kun about maybe…something long-distance? Maybe he’s just worried
about being outed, if you come with him. That’s fair, you know it is.”
 
Ritsu lets out a frustrated little whine, drawing his knees up higher under his
chin. “Mmhm. That’s part of it. He said he...doesn’t think he can trust me to
not be all over him. I mean, that’s kinda fair...I dunno what to do about that,
though. If I like someone, I’m always gonna wanna be all over them, but I’m
like that to all of Knights and they don’t say anything about it...it’s not
like I say that Maa-kun is my boyfriend in public or anything...”
 
Rei shifts, easing the lid of his coffin back so that they can both sit up, now
that Ritsu is calmer. “He’s a lot shyer than you are, in that way,” Rei gently
points out, smoothing Ritsu’s hair down, tucking it behind his ears with
careful fingers. “So you two are going to have to meet in the middle, if you
want it to work. It’s cute to wait until he’s backstage to kiss him, don’t you
think?”
 
Ritsu’s eyes water again, and he rubs at them, even though they’re sore and red
already and stinging with salt. “I don’t kiss him in public. I just, I lay on
him and stuff. But I do that to everyone...it’s fanservice, right? Isn’t it
just, isn’t it just fanservice?”
 
“Mm, fanservice is good. But you have to figure out the right amounts, right?
Maybe what was good for Knights is a little too much for Trickstar, and neither
would be enough for Undead, right?” Rei teases, leaning forward to press a kiss
to Ritsu’s forehead, then to his blotchy cheeks. “Think of it like…mm, it’s
cute if Isara Mao from Trickstar knows the model Sakuma Ritsu, and they clearly
are friends, and go to each other’s events…but oh, man, they took a selfie
together? And they were hugging, backstage! What if there’s more? But there’s
still an if, it’s not a certainty, and that’s what Isara-kun is afraid of, if
you go on tour with him.”
 
“It doesn’t matter. He broke up with me. He...” Ritsu squirms, uncomfortable
with the surge of guilt in his gut. “He knows I’m keeping a secret from him.
And I keep trying to work up the courage to tell him, I’m trying, but I kept
thinking he’d hate me or be scared of me, and...it kept not happening.”
 
“Ritsu, you’ve broken up with me about two hundred times, and you see where
that’s gotten us. At least give him the decency of a good chase.” Rei pats his
cheek. “In all seriousness, do you need me to interrupt the two of you while
you’re trying to give a blowjob and expose all of your deepest, darkest vampire
secrets?” He’s still a little traumatized from that, truthfully.
 
Ritsu winces. “Sorry. I’m a bad boyfriend, I know. But at least Kaoru-kun still
seems to like you. Maybe...” His brow furrows. “Maybe you should talk to Maa-
kun. Maybe I’m being dumb about it and you have to fix it.”
 
Three months ago, and Rei would have leapt at the chance to talk to Isara Mao
about taking care of his little brother properly. Currently, the idea sounds
frustrating at best. “Ritsu,” Rei carefully begins, “I have no problem talking
to a lot of people for you, but…this is your relationship, right? I think he
gets embarrassed if I bring it up to him, and you have to learn how to talk to
him eventually…I mean, I can convince him we’re vampires, but he might end up a
little…”
 
“A little what?” Ritsu sniffs again, blinking hard, wincing when that makes
everything hurt more. “I don’t...think it could get any worse. I don’t
think...he wants to see me again. I said I was gonna go and he didn’t...stop
me, the way he usually does...”
 
“He’s frustrated. Not just with you, but the situation.” At least, that’s what
Rei hopes is the issue. He’d like to believe Isara Mao has a little bit more
sense than most. He discretely grabs his pack of cigarettes up into his sleeve
as he stretches with a sigh, slowly climbing to his feet and taking Ritsu’s
hand, trying to pull him with him. “Come now, upsy-daisy. Let’s go stand out on
the balcony and get some fresh air.”
 
“I hate fresh air. Give me a grave. Let me mold in the darkness. It’s where I
belong...”
 
Despite the protestations, Ritsu lets himself be tugged, hopping up onto the
balcony ledge, letting his feet dangle over the city below. “Blow smoke on my
face. Maybe I’ll get vampire cancer.”
 
Rei props his elbows onto the metal railing, lighting his cigarette with a
match—he always loses his lighters, damn it—before flicking it to the side. “I
think you need a bit more exposure than that,” he says with a laugh, and
breathes in smoke and nicotine himself, the numbing tingle of it taking away
some of the anxiety his mood tries to tend towards. “Ritsu,” he absently asks,
“does anyone else in Trickstar even have a girlfriend?”
 
“Mm, don’t think so. Maa-kun would have mentioned it, he’s actually a really
bad gossip when you get him alone.” Ritsu inhales deeply, then makes a face. “I
always think I’m gonna like the smell more than I do. I dunno, he says Makoto-
kun really wants a girlfriend, and the other...whoever they are...are kinda all
about the music, I guess...but Maa-kun’s not that observant, really. So they
could.”
 
“Sorry, sorry, I’ll try to be fast,” Rei apologizes, hurriedly flicking away
ash and taking another long drag off of his cigarette. “But if they aren’t
dating, then he’s the odd one out. That’s a lot of pressure, especially if it’s
a boyfriend he’s trying to hide, not a girlfriend. I’m not surprised he snapped
at you—and I’m not trying to apologize for it,” he hastily adds, before Ritsu
can round on him. “Just trying to rationalize. Getting a contract, going on
tour, being immersed in the industry, and trying to date? That’s so much.”
 
“Being a model is way easier,” Ritsu grumbles. “If Secchan can get away with
the stuff he gets away with...but I guess Nacchan helps him, so...” He huffs,
pouting again. “Just seems like some people don’t have to worry about stuff and
other people have to worry about too much.”
 
“Yep,” Rei blithely agrees, reaching over to muss Ritsu’s hair. “That’s how it
is, no matter what. It sucks, right? That’s why…I know it’s hard, but you can’t
take everything Isara-kun says at face value. He’s upset, he’s stressed, he
feels like he’s screwing up because he’s the only one that wants to date
someone. You’ve yelled at me and not really meant it before, right? It’s the
same thing.”
 
Ritsu’s lip quivers again, and he covers his face with his hands, huffing. “No,
no, it hurts too much, I’m not gonna cry anymore...Onii-chan, I’m sorry I
yelled at you so many times. I’m...a really troublesome kid, huh?” Maybe if he
just leans over a little farther, maybe if he just lets go of the balcony, no
one will be sad anymore...
 
Rei scoots closer, slinging an arm around Ritsu’s waist to keep him from
falling, because if anyone can tell that kind of body language, it’s him. “No,
you’re perfect.” He turns his head, pressing a warm kiss to Ritsu’s temple.
“This situation isn’t anyone’s fault, you know that, deep down.” He exhales a
long stream of smoke, and gently knocks his head against Ritsu’s shoulder. “We
just have to figure out a way to make it work. You’re so cute, it’s impossible
for him not to love you.”
 
“...you’re warm.”
 
Ritsu sucks in a breath, then leans back into Rei’s embrace, trusting his
strength. “Usually it feels like Maa-kun is the only warm thing. But now you
feel warm, too. I...maybe it’s me that got colder. You’re....the only one who
thinks I’m cute, Onii-chan. But you--but you--”
 
He grits his teeth, hands curling hard into the balcony. “But you like Kaoru-
kun, don’t you? You said you’d never love anyone but me like a romance, but you
do, don’t you?”
 
Shit, they had to make it back to this, didn’t they? Rei hesitates for too
long, and shoves his cigarette back between his lips, drawing in a long breath
off of it. Maybe if he just ignores the question… “I’m warm because I’ve been
feeding regularly, that’s all. Besides, Isara-kun thinks you’re cute, he’s just
embarrassed to say it. He doesn’t want anyone to know that you, as cute as you
are, do him through the mattress, it’s a masculinity thing.”
 
Ritsu pulls back enough to glare. “Stop. Lying. Now. It’s annoying.”
 
“B-but I wasn’t lying about anything,” Rei protests. “I have been eating a lot,
and Isara-kun definitely thinks you’re cute—“
 
“And Kaoru-kun is just some guy from your band.”
 
“I…” Rei clears his throat, glancing aside. “I didn’t say anything about him,
so I’m not lying about anything.”
 
“Onii-chan is the worst.” Ritsu pokes Rei’s cheek. “You like him a lot, right?
Like me and Maa-kun?”
 
Rei wavers, and as he flicks his sadly finished butt of a cigarette away, he
has to resist the urge to light up another one to combat this whole new set of
issues. “I still love you,” he blurts out. “Nothing has changed.”
 
Ritsu sighs, then leans back far enough that he turns a half-backflip, landing
on his feet and straightening slowly up. “Onii-chan is really dumb,” he says
fondly, poking Rei’s shoulder, then his forehead. “Half the reason I never
really came clean with Maa-kun is because I was worried you’d be alone forever
without me. It’s good if you’re in love.”
 
The color that rises to his cheeks is the worst, and Rei pointedly stares out
into the city, huddling up underneath his sweater. “What do you mean you never
really came clean? You’ve been trying to be his boyfriend since you were ten,
Ritsu,” Rei whines, hunching over the balcony railing. “You’re so mean to your
big brother, don’t talk about how I’m going to be alone forever!”
 
Ritsu gives Rei’s shoulder a punch to follow his poke. “You’re the one that
told me you never wanted to be with anyone but me in a sex way,” he points out,
following the punch with a flick to Rei’s temple. “And I meant I never told him
about the vampire thing, dumbass!”
 
“W-well, it was true at the time, I wasn’t lying to you!” Rei protests, rubbing
at his shoulder as he slinks sideways to avoid another slap. “This came out of
left field, it’s not like I planned it. You’re not allowed to go on and on
about how you could ‘never really be honest with anyone else’ because of me,
that’s my line to use with you!”
 
Ritsu glares, but honestly, it’s just so much work to be annoyed, and he’s all
out of stronger emotions. He sighs, then just slumps forward, trusting that his
brother will catch him. “We’re dumb. Why are we so bad at being happy?”
 
“Because we’re fucked up.” Rei does catch him, stuffing Ritsu back into his
sweater, and plops his chin down on top of his head to cuddle him close. “My
dance teacher in England said it was because I was clinically depressed, but I
think being fucked up sounds cooler, don’t you?”
 
Ritsu sniffs, even though his eyes and nose are dry. There just aren’t any more
tears. “We should...get better. You, you want to be happy, right? Because I do,
so bad, I don’t want to live if it’s always going to be like this.”
 
“It’s not like we don’t try,” Rei points out with a self-depreciating laugh,
hugging Ritsu tightly to his chest. “And lately, I’ve been trying a lot. I know
you have, too. Kaoru-kun helps.” It’s the first (maybe only?) admission Rei can
allow right now, and it still sticks in his throat like a too-large pill. “But
I…asking him to help, I’m not so good at that, it feels like I’m a buzzkill, or
like I’m an inconvenience, even if he doesn’t make it out like that. It just
feels stupid that he should have to put up with it—Ifeel stupid. You…you know
what I mean.” Because of course Ritsu does; it’s the one thing they have in
common most of all.
 
“...Yeah.” Ritsu’s voice is small, just loud enough for Rei’s sensitive ears to
hear. He butts into Rei’s chest--always a source of comfort, always the one
place he’s been able to go to feel less alone--and just...stays there,
breathing. “I get it. A lot. Too much.”
 
It almost feels painful for him to finally move, reaching down to tug on Rei’s
hand. “Come play a duet with me. I need the music.”
 
“Mm.” That’s a relief, something to do that doesn’t necessarily involve words.
The sun is trying to come up now, anyway, so being locked back up in a
windowless room sounds perfect. “Violin, or piano? Do they try to rope you into
the choir events at school now that I’m gone?”
 
“Of course. I don’t do them, though.” Ritsu looks around, furrows his brow, and
decides, “You do violin, I’ll do piano. Is this Richelle? No, Carlotta. Hi,
sweetie...pick a key.”
 
“Richelle is in the closet, needing to be restrung. I don’t have the time,” Rei
sadly says, plucking up Carlotta and his bow. The time, or the energy, if he’s
being honest, but at least Carlotta hasn’t failed him, and Ritsu wanting to
play with him is the best thing that’s happened since Kaoru surprised him with
a crate of tomato juice last week. “C# minor? No, I’m not just going to play
Moonlight Sonata, I promise.”
 
Ritsu grins, a shadow of a smile, and cracks his neck before settling his
fingers to the keys. “See if you can keep up, old man.”
 
~
 
The next afternoon, Rei wakes up to Ritsu snuggled up against him in his coffin
for the first time in what feels like forever—and physically aches to realize
how much he missed this.
 
It’s early afternoon, judging by the clock, which means Ritsu is still in
something of a coma, drooling onto Rei’s pillow, and with painstaking care, Rei
manages to slither away from him, dragging creaking, cracking bones out of his
coffin. On the floor, discarded from Ritsu’s early morning of breaking into his
room, is Ritsu’s phone, proclaiming with increased irritation that there are
Four Missed Texts, Two Missed Voice Messages—all from Maa-kun.
 
Against his better, sane judgement, Rei clears out the alerts, and sets the
phone on his desk for Ritsu to find…later. Whenever.
 
Sliding the lid of his coffin closed—it’s not entirely soundproof, but it’ll do
to let Ritsu nap a little while longer—Rei plops down at his piano with a yawn,
cracking his knuckles and grabbing up a discarded, half-finished juice box of
tomato juice to slurp down before he sets his fingers to the keys in a practice
ritual of scales that he’s known since he was four years old.
 
The tinkling of the piano is enough of a signal for Kaoru, and he gives only a
cursory knock before sliding Rei’s room door open. The look on his face isn’t
entirely happy, but he forces a smile. “Hope everything’s okay. You wanna give
me some idea about whether you’re gonna make it to practice today...or should I
not even bother asking if he’s around?”
 
“Hmm? Oh, I’ll be there. What time is it now?” Rei glances up, catching a
glimpse of Kaoru’s face, and he frowns, suddenly catching the bit
of…irritation? Can Hakaze Kaoru even be irritated? Maybe that’s not the right
word. “I’m sorry he woke you up last night. He’s having a hard time because of
Isara-kun.”
 
Guilt nags at Kaoru’s belly, and he sighs, dragging a hand back through his
hair. “Poor kid. He’s got enough on his plate without that. Don’t worry about
it.”
 
Rei falls silent, though his fingers keep going in rhythmic, even scales. His
mind refuses to do the same, but he finally works up the nerve to ask,
forthrightly, “Does it bother you, him being here?” If the answer is yes, I
honestly wish you’d just lie about it.
 
Kaoru is quiet for a second, leaning on the doorframe. The way Rei says it
makes it sound like Ritsu will be with them for quite a while. “I don’t know.
That depends on what it’s gonna change.”
 
“He’s not…” Don’t kid yourself, he’s probably going to move in tonight if he
gets up the courage to go through with it.Rei gnaws on his lower lip, wondering
about the logistics of that, specifically—namely the fact that Ritsu isn’t
quite yet 18. The last thing any of them need is their parents throwing
themselves at the door, trying to drag him back out again. “Tell me what you
want me to do,” Rei finally settles upon, pausing in his warm-up to turn on the
bench and look at Kaoru directly. “And I’ll tell you what I can promise. Does
that work?”
 
“I want...” Kaoru sits on the piano bench next to Rei, leaning their shoulders
together. “I want to not be the last one to know everything around here, man. I
wanna not be the third wheel, because this can get real upsetting real fast,
and it’s already like that whenever you guys are around each other.”
 
At that, Rei groans. “I know, I know,” he mutters, raking a hand back through
his hair. “I’m sorry. It’s…very difficult not to fall back into old habits,
especially when that’s the only thing that makes him feel better.” His coffin
isn’t entirely soundproof, he reminds himself, and so his voice drops, barely
above a whisper. “If it makes you feel better, you’re only a second behind me
when it comes to knowing anything. I didn’t know anything about this newest
Isara-kun development until Ritsu showed up last night, or what Ritsu’s plans
might be. He’s…like that.”
 
“Uh huh.” This is dumb, a voice says at the back of Kaoru’s mind. This is just
proving why you were stupid in the beginning to start this with him, huh? He’s
always going to pick Ritsu, every time.“So...are we just messing around for a
while until you go running back to him when he needs you? Seriously, I told you
at the beginning that I didn’t want to be the Other Guy anymore.”
 
Rei blinks, startled at the question, and turns a suddenly very confused stare
upon Kaoru. “What? No, Kaoru-kun—I’m not…we’re not…we’re not breaking up.”
Actually, just saying it is difficult.
 
“And you and Ritsu?” Kaoru raises an eyebrow, trying to quell the way his own
heart flutters painfully at Rei’s expression. “Last time I asked, you gave me
some vague-ass answer about how he wanted Isara-kun more than you anyway. So,
now what?”
 
“I…I don’t know.” If last night was an indicator, Rei would hazard a guess that
Ritsu still wants Mao more than anything—but what does he know? Rei frowns, his
eyes sliding away again. “Kaoru-kun…if what you’re trying to get me to promise
is never, ever being involved with Ritsu’s life again, I absolutely can’t do
that.”
 
“Oi, when did I say that? Does that sound like something that a cool guy like
Hakaze Kaoru would ask?” Kaoru puts a hand on one of Rei’s cool white ones,
squeezing gently. “I just wanna know what we are, if Ritsu decides he wants you
most. You like me, I get that, but there’s some intense stuff going on, and I’m
not gonna hold you to a relationship that’s getting in your way.”
 
“I can’t imagine you ever getting in the way,” Rei murmurs, hesitating as he
runs his thumb over a blemished piece of wood near the piano’s keys. “I
don’t…for the record, I’ve never thought of you as something like that. You’re
entirely separate. That…that was what we talked about when we agreed to try,
right?” he worriedly asks. “I’m not misremembering, right? I don’t want you to
be second place, ever, I just…also want to be able to take care of Ritsu, if
that’s what he needs.” He swallows, shrugging. “I can’t say I’m going to be
perfect at balancing all of it, but I’m up to trying. I…” Spit it out, don’t be
lame. “I love you, so I’m a bit past the idea of walking away.”
 
Kaoru’s cheeks and ears heat up, enough that he has to plunk his head down on
Rei’s shoulder. “So smooth, Sakuma-san,” he murmurs, grabbing his hand to lace
their fingers together. “Okay, okay, good. Would it be totally uncool of me to
just...maybe establish a couple rules? So we know where we stand and we don’t
have to have conversations like this again?”
 
Rei feels like he deserves the biggest pat on the back ever for having a
Successful Relationship Conversation—but who’s going to do that for someone so
lame, huh? He exhales a long, relieved sigh all the same, and nods, burying his
flushed face into one hand as he squeezes Kaoru’s with the other. “I can do
rules.” He’s not great at rules, but just like P.E., but he’s willing to—okay,
bad comparison, he did fail that every single time.
 
“Okay, cool, we’re getting somewhere.” Kaoru’s relief is almost palpable. He
draws back, just far enough to be able to look at Rei. “Okay, number one, sleep
with me at night or tell me you’re not going to. That’s it, no judgment if you
wanna spend the night with someone else, just...let me know so I don’t wait for
you and wonder. By midnight if possible, or wake me up before you leave if it’s
after that. Sound fair?” Not that he’d lain awake the entire night before,
listening to the occasional sob or musical refrain, fingernails digging half-
moon imprints into his palms.
 
That sounds…very, very reasonable. So reasonable, in fact, that Rei does wonder
if there’s something of a catch, but he doesn’t say as much. “…Sounds fair,” he
says, unable to keep some amount of wariness out of his voice. “But—Kaoru-
kun—is that implying that you don’t mind if Ritsu and I are…”
 
Kaoru laughs, reaching up to smooth Rei’s odd flyaway hair strands down,
twisting a few around his fingers. “I knew what I signed on for, you know? We
both have our...I dunno, our quirks. You know I’m not going to stop hitting on
girls, and I know you’re...I mean, you have sex with your little brother, you
do do that. And I track sand into the apartment and you play piano all night,
we’ve all got our things, right?”
 
“I feel like we’re playing a game of ‘one of these things is not like the
other.’”
 
Kaoru rolls his eyes. “So, do you want me to break up with you because of it,
or do you want me to keep being the cool chill guy that I very much am?”
 
“No, no no no no, please keep being a cool chill guy,” Rei quickly says,
flapping a hand. “I mean, for what it’s worth, I really don’t mind if you want
to climb into bed with girls, either. I know it’s against our contract,
technically, but so is every other thing we’re talking about.”
 
Kaoru’s eyebrows raise, pause, then raise again, almost to his hairline.
“Wait...seriously? You honestly wouldn’t mind? Eh, is this one of those things
where you say you won’t mind, but you really do, it turns out later, and then
I’m the asshole for taking you up on it, like in one of my sister’s dramas?”
 
“Kaoru-kun.” Rei stares, meeting his eyes, clutching his hand tightly. “Please,
have sex with women. They miss you.”
 
The stupidest thing in the world, Kaoru is pretty sure, is the way his eyes
fill with tears at that. “Oh god. Oh, my god, they miss me so much, you have no
idea how many texts I get that are so hard to delete--and holy shit, you and I
have such good sex but if I don’t at least smell a girl soon I’m going to have
a breakdown. What’s your rules for something like that?”
 
“…W…why didn’t you just say something earlier?” Rei manages around a startled
laugh, squeezing Kaoru’s hand once more before releasing it and instead patting
his cheek. “There are ratios to liking guys, and at best, you’re an 80-20. I
accepted that awhile ago. Please, just have fun? Umm…don’t…ah…let her come in
my room and don’t do it in my coffin?” It’s pretty difficult to have rules
about something he doesn’t care about in the slightest, turns out.
 
Kaoru grabs Rei’s face in his hands and kisses him soundly, then once again for
good measure. “Wow, I love you. You’re--basically perfect, you know? Like,
damn, I lucked out. You hungry? I’ve got pizza stuff.”
 
Huh. Who knew this boyfriend stuff was so easy? Everyone else that has ever
asked him for advice had made it out to be so hard. Rei dazedly, contently
blinks, swaying after he’s been kissed. “Ah. I’ll always eat pizza stuff. Ritsu
might wake up when he smells it, fair warning.”
 
“That’s cool.” Kaoru swings off the bench, giving Rei a wink. “I’ll put lots of
butter and garlic and tomatoes and stuff on it. If you’re gonna be so cute, I’m
gonna spoil you.”
 
“I should tell you to go do it with people that aren’t me more often,” Rei says
with a laugh, landing a swat on Kaoru’s ass as he hops away. “I’ll be out in a
little bit. You interrupted me and if you don’t let me finish I’m going to
die.”
 
“Shouldn’t let it get that far. That’ll give you prostate cancer, you know!”
Kaoru teases, sidling out of the room to start cooking.
 
“Don’t turn music jokes into sex jokes, that’s the worst behavior!” Rei calls
after him, and heaves a sigh as he slumps back down at the piano, sort of
floppy from relief. Well, that went in the best possible direction it ever
could have.
 
On his desk, Ritsu’s phone buzzes again, and Rei glowers at it before he rises
to his feet to snatch it up.
 
To: Ritsu
From: Maa-kun
Subject: are you ignoring me?
at least let me know that you’re ok
 
Not all mostly-straight boys are as good as Kaoru-kun, Rei decides (has
decided, quite some time ago), and he clears that alert as well, plopping it
back down onto his desk before returning to his piano.
 
“Onii-chan. Gimme my phone.”
 
Slowly, pale fingers curl over the side of the coffin, and the top of Ritsu’s
hair comes into view, little by little. Sleepy red eyes blink, and he yawns,
squinting against the meager light. “Did Maa-kun text?”
 
“I’m practicing, it’s on my desk.” The scales start up again, brisk in his
desire to both avoid dealing with more of Mao-related drama, and to get to
Kaoru’s homemade pizza faster. “You’re up early, did you sleep well?”
 
“Yeah. Always sleep better in a coffin.”
 
Ritsu heaves himself up, stretching slowly with another yawn, and he makes a
stop at the piano bench first, draping his chin on Rei’s shoulder. “Thanks,
Onii-chan. For last night. I was gonna...be stupid, otherwise. Except for you.”
 
There’s an irrational part of Rei that makes him want to say a number of things
that contradict everything he’d said last night about not giving up on Isara-
kun, he’s just frustrated, he’s just confused, but…is it worth it? He flips the
idea around for a moment before just turning his head, pressing a kiss to
Ritsu’s cheek. “If you feel better today, that’s the important thing,” he says
simply. “Kaoru-kun is making pizza, because he’s perfect.”
 
Ritsu pouts, then sits down on the bench. “Garlic makes me sick lately. More
for you. Mm, Onii-chan, you’re keeping Kaoru-kun, right? Because I heard some
of that, and he’s kinda good. And he likes you an awful lot.”
 
“Oh, no, not garlic—that’s the worst,” Rei sighs in sympathy, his hands not
ceasing their methodical progress across the piano and through every key. “I
might have some strawberry sauce lying around…and didn’t I tell you that
eavesdropping is rude?” he adds, face flushing as he fumbles and misses a note,
and irritably repeats the scale. “But of course I’m keeping him, he’s a good
boy.”
 
“Wasn’t eavesdropping, you guys were talking in the room where I was trying to
sleep.” Ritsu pokes Rei’s face with a sharp cold finger, then a few more times.
“Onii-chan sucks at music when he’s being really gay.”
 
“This is my room, and my coffin, so you were eavesdropping,” Rei protests, his
head tilting sideways in an attempt to avoid Ritsu’s poking, to no avail. “I
don’t suuuck, Ritsu, be nice to me. Kaoru-kun’s nice to me.”
 
“Oh. So you want me to go. You don’t love me.”
 
“I never said that. Ritsu, you know I love you—ugh, why won’t any of you let me
finish this?” Rei whines, prying his hands off of the piano to grab for Ritsu
and forcibly hug him. “Stay, stay and call me ‘Onii-chan.’”
 
Ritsu giggles, betraying how much he’d been faking the scowl, nuzzling into
Rei’s neck. “Play it with me, Onii-chan. You deserve some good stuff for being
so good to me last night.”
 
“Shh, now you’re going to get cuddled,” Rei grumbles, hauling Ritsu over and
into his lap and reaching around him to play. This was a lot easier when Ritsu
was a tiny first year and he had already shot up in height, but it’s still
doable, and Rei has committed to it now, besides. “Do you want to stay?” he
asks, suddenly needing to know, even as his hands focus on completing drilled-
in patterns. “For longer than just…tonight, I mean.”
 
Ritsu lets his hands fall into the same pattern, following a couple octaves
higher, plunking out the same scales over and over again, occasionally looking
down to watch Rei’s fingers. “I don’t want them to go after you. And...I don’t
wanna be in the way of you two.”
 
“Kaoru-kun and I talked about it.” Rei hooks his chin over one of Ritsu’s
shoulders, his eyes lidding in thought more than any concentration needed to
actually play. “I’m really grateful you don’t want to mess anything up, Ritsu,
but…that’s so much less of an issue than our parents would be.”
 
The tip of Ritsu’s tongue creeps between his teeth, and he worries at it
slowly, letting his hands remember the rhythm even if his conscious mind
doesn’t. How many times had they played scales this way, Rei insisting it was
the only way to truly learn, Ritsu determined to fumble his way through no
matter how long it took or how clumsy he sounded? Hundreds, at least. Enough
that it feels like second nature, and feels like coming home all at once. “I
really want to kill them,” he says suddenly, hands not pausing. “For what they
did to you. And for trying to keep us apart. They don’t care, they just don’t
want us to be happy.”
 
Rei’s head slowly shakes, his hair brushing against Ritsu’s neck and face.
Finishing their process through the major scales brings him to switch to minor
in short order, and start again. “You can’t kill them,” he quietly says.
“That’s not going to help anything.”
 
“It’ll help me not feel upset every time I remember that they’re alive and they
hate us.” Ritsu scowls, following the switch in scales with only a heartbeat of
hesitation. “I hate being jealous of people with dead parents. It makes me feel
weird.”
 
“They’ll die eventually.” Rei heaves a sigh against Ritsu’s neck, and turns his
head to press a kiss there. “I don’t want them to come here, either,” he
admits. “But if you can’t stand another minute at home, I’ll figure something
out.”
 
Ritsu huffs, snuggling up to Rei a little closer. “I’ll make it until I’m
eighteen,” he promises, though he doesn’t exactly sound happy about it. “I
think...it’s just as important for now...to have somewhere to go that they
won’t come. If they came here, I’d probably just do stuff you don’t want me to
do.” He hesitates, then asks, “So, did Maa-kun text?”
 
Rei runs his way through another scale before he answers, more begrudgingly
than he’d like, “A few times. I got sick of hearing your phone so I cleared out
the alerts.”
 
Ritsu grabs the phone immediately, abandoning the scales as he swipes it open,
scrolling quickly through the messages. His face falls when he sees the
content--no apology, no panic, no begging, just polite inquiry and friendly
concern.
 
To: Maa-kun
From: Ritsu
go to hell
 
Ritsu, not bounding towards the door and announcing that he has to find Mao,
comes as a surprise. Admittedly, Rei didn’t read through all of the messages
(he’s not quite at that point yet), but now, curiosity is starting to make him
itch. “What did he say?” he asks, knowing very well this could be a can of
worms that he’s opening.
 
“That he wants to know if I’m okay. That he’s worried and I need to call him.”
Ritsu tucks his knees up, slamming his hands down on the piano. “Not that he’s
sorry or wants to see me.”
 
“Ah, ah, not on Adelaide, she did nothing wrong,” Rei protests with a wince,
hurriedly reaching for Ritsu’s hands to still them before he can do it again,
as he’s apt to do. “Maybe you should just call him? And see what he has to
say…” The suggestion sounds flat even to him, and that’s not good. A pity he
picks this afternoon to remember some of the things he’d said as an angry,
irritable first year, jealous that his little brother’s eyes wandered to anyone
but him. Isara will never understand, he doesn’t get it, he can’t deal with the
same things we do. It’s not even fair to say things like that, because who
would ever sign up for either of them?
 
“Why, so he can tell me he just wanted to make sure I’m not dead, and he can’t
possibly see me right now because I’m bad for his image?” Ritsu turns away from
the piano, crawling back into the coffin. “This is too much day for today. I’m
staying in here.”
 
“Ritsu…” Rei immediately rises to follow him, reaching for his hand. “Come now,
you can’t just mope in the coffin all day. I mean,” he hedges, “sure, Isara-
kun’s being an awful brat, but that just means you should be enjoying yourself
to spite him.”
 
“Onii-chan was right. No one else will ever love me.” Ritsu’s hand flails
around for the coffin lid, dragging it into place with a heave of effort.
 
“Ritsu, you can’t lock me out of my own coffin.” Rei pushes it back open with a
grunt, frowning down at him. “I’ll get Kaoru-kun to make you a pizza with no
garlic, it’ll still be delicious, and we can sit around and talk about how
stupid Trickstar’s plaid looks.”
 
Ritsu’s eyes fill, and he sniffs, wiping it on his own sleeve. “Maa-kun pulls
it off. I hate that. And it has that cute necklace he likes...”
 
“It literally says ‘a’ on it, there’s nothing cute about that,” Rei protests on
a sigh, and reaches for Ritsu’s hands, trying to tug him upright again. “Ritsu,
if—“ Ah, damn it. Now he’s started, and the heavy temptation to always rip into
Isara Mao is less a temptation, more just happening. “If he’s not going to
chase after you and make it work, then he’s not worth it. You’ve been trying
and changing and trying again, and he’s obviously got something else going on
that doesn’t involve you, or else he would be here, right now.”
 
“But...” Ritsu shrugs a little awkwardly, then turns to lie facedown in the
coffin, carpet pressing against his face. “I’m hard to love. Him and you both
said it. So maybe everyone should stop trying and just let me stay on the
floor.”
 
“There’s a difference between being hard, and being impossible,” Rei says
firmly, and when pulling Ritsu out doesn’t work, he simply crawls into the
coffin with him, wrapping all four limbs around him. “The reward is worth it.
I’m not leaving you on the floor unless I’m there with you.”
 
“Yo, Sakuma bros, not to interrupt, but there’s definitely pizza! Ah...” Kaoru
looks around, then approaches the coffin, unsure if he should knock.
 
“Onii-chan. Go eat.” Ritsu sniffles, then reaches over and punches Rei’s
shoulder. “You need your strength if you’re gonna keep putting up with me.”
 
Rei wavers, lingering for a moment more before he slowly unlatches himself.
“I’m going to eat pizza, and then I’m going to breathe garlic on your face so
you can still experience it,” he says, sliding the lid of the coffin open.
“Just stay in here for a little, okay, Ritsu?” Maybe you’ll feel better is a
hopeful suggestion, but an ultimately useless one. Ritsu can tell him I’m hard
to love, him and you both said itall day, but—how to convince him it’s not the
same, coming from both of them? It’s the difference between Mao complaining
about memorizing difficult chord progressions on a guitar until he ultimately
sets it aside, frustrated and numb-fingered, and Rei opening up a book of
etudes he’s played through hundreds of times, only to still stumble over them
again and again until it’s right, because there’s nothing more satisfying when
his fingers want to fall off. The reward is worth it! Rei wants to scream into
Mao’s face, but…
 
“Sorry, Kaoru-kun,” he says, tugging the coffin lid shut again. “We got caught
up.”
 
“No worries, pizza’s still nice and fresh. Mmm, maybe I can feed you a tomato?”
 
The second the voices die down, Ritsu fumbles for his phone, unable to help
himself. Maybe his brother is right. But about which part, the part about Mao
being good for him or the part about needing to be chased? It’s too confusing,
and for a moment he buries his head in his hands, feeling like it’s going to
tear itself apart. The next thing he knows, he’s dialing Mao’s number, phone
pressed to his ear in the dark of the coffin.
 
It only takes two rings before Mao picks up, out of breath and already, out of
the box, ready to scold. “Ritsu! Geez, you took forever to call me back!” The
worry is palpable in his voice in ways it simply didn’t come through in texts,
and a long, heaving sigh follows. “What the heck was that last text, huh? I was
seriously worried about you. You can’t keep disappearing when we argue like
this.”
 
“Maa-kun...still cares? If I disappear?” Ritsu slowly writhes, the sound of
Mao’s soft voice more a balm to his nerves than he expected, even if it
frustrates him just as much, like the calm serenity he can’t ever seem to find.
“But I can’t ruin your career if I disappear.”
 
“Ritsu…” Mao trails off, exasperation in his voice, and there’s the sound of
him fumbling with his phone for a moment before the sound of a door clicking
into place soon follows.  Locking himself out of the practice room where the
rest of his band is hard at work sucks, sends a stab of guilt through to his
heart, and he swallows, shutting his eyes. “Ricchan,” he quietly repeats, “I
didn’t mean to yell at you. I’m sorry. I…I got really frustrated because you
weren’t listening to me. I didn’t even get to tell you some really important
stuff before you just…ran off.”
 
“Sorry. I thought...” Ritsu drags a hand down his face. “I thought I was doing
what you wanted. I...I messed it up again, Maa-kun. I’m sorry.” His voice
crumples, but he tries to bite it down. “If you wanna talk later--I can hear
you hiding from people...”
 
“It’s fine, it’s fine, just—just listen to me, for five seconds, okay?” Mao
rakes a hand back through his hair, trying to keep his worry and frustration at
bay. “Trickstar’s got a really strict contract.” His voice cracks, and he
presses forward, no matter how terrified he is of the reaction that he can only
imagine will follow. “We’re…we’re not allowed to date.”
 
“...oh.” Ritsu rubs his eyes, feeling his hand come away wet. “Yeah, most idols
have contracts like that. I’ve got one with my modeling company. No one listens
to those.”
 
“Everyone one else in Trickstar is listening to it, Ritsu. I’ve…I’ve gotta, or
it’s not fair.”
 
“....ohhh.” That makes something twist, low and hot and awkward, in Ritsu’s
belly, and he curls up around himself. His eyes are drier now, even as he
reasons, “But no one wants to date the other guys in your unit, Maa-kun. And I
love you.”
 
“They want girlfriends, Ritsu, like any other guy out there.” Mao wipes a hand
down his face tiredly. “And even if no one wants to date them, it’s still not
fair. They know about us, and it’s…it’s awkward, you know?”
 
Ritsu can hear his own heart beating. “I’ll be careful,” he whispers, clutching
at the phone. “I won’t tell anyone, it can just be in private--”
 
“Ricchan, quit it already.” Mao’s voice chokes up in his throat, and his
fingers squeeze too-tight around his phone, sweating and threatening to make it
slip to the floor. “They’re gonna know. They already know. You won’t stop being
all over me in public, you won’t stop leaving marks, you won’t listen to me.
It’s not gonna change now.”
 
“M-Maa-kun--no, I’ll be good, I promise, I--please, Maa-kun, you can’t leave me
all alone, I’ll--without you, I’ll--”
 
It’s too much, too sudden, too overwhelming, and Ritsu hangs up the phone in
distress, leaving it in the coffin, dragging the coffin lid over it to bury it
with his feelings, fleeing the room in something like panic. “Onii-chan,” he
pants, gulping at the air as he looks frantically at his brother. “I--talk
about something else, talk about music, please--”
 
Rei, currently with a slice of pizza half-stuffed into his mouth, swallows
faster than he ever has in his life, and hauls himself to his feet, immediately
on autopilot and grabbing Ritsu’s hands. “You know what’s a tragedy? The fact
that saxophone isn’t an instrument represented in the orchestral world. At
least the soprano sax would be able to offer a difference in tone, if not
similar to that of an oboe, but alas…” He fumbles in his sweater pocket for his
iPod, and stuffs one of the earbuds directly into Ritsu’s ear, flipping through
to the playlist that had helped last night. “Debussy had the right idea, and
Ibert…”
 
The stimulus of the music is the only thing that makes sense, injecting the
perfect math of Debussy directly into his brain. Ritsu shudders, trying not to
hear his own mind chanting it’s over, it’s over, it’s over to the pulse of
every beat, imagining Mao plucking out orchestral strains on his guitar,
imagining that sweet little smile that Mao only gives him--
 
“I’ll never be able to make it up to him,” he whispers, eyes unfocused, seeing
things that aren’t there, not seeing anything that is. “I was gonna be so much
better, I was gonna help him, I was gonna be so much less of a burden, I just
wanted to make him proud of me--”
 
Damn it, Isara, you could have at least had the decency to break up with him in
person. Ritsu has come to him a million times, distraught over something Mao
has said or done, over his own failings and idiosyncrasies, but this has a
different ring to it, and it makes Rei hesitate, unsure from which angle to
approach it. Keep trying this way, when it didn’t even make a dent, or…
 
“When’s the last time you even heard me play Debussy, hm?” Rei straightens,
squeezing both of Ritsu’s hands, and tries to tug him along, back to his
bedroom. Ahh, he can only imagine what Kaoru thinks of all of this, but at
least he isn’t glaring at him or staring him down about it, making him feel
guilty about abandoning his cooking (he feels guilty about that on his own).
“Let’s go do that, all right? Or are you too out of practice? Give me ten
minutes, I’ll get you back into shape.”
 
Some of the fight drains out of Ritsu, leaving him with that awful empty hollow
feeling again, but the buzzing sense of impending doom won’t leave, so he lets
Rei tug him into the bedroom, back to the piano.
 
Music will never break up with him. Music has never really been the thing he
loved, but maybe that’s why Rei loves it so much. Could it love me, the way it
loves him? He’d never cared about that as a kid, just wanted to learn so he
could sit by Rei’s side without being anything more than a hanger-on. He trails
his fingers over the piano, whispering, “She loves you so much. And you can
keep her in your room forever and touch her whenever you want.” Regular people
probably don’t think like that.
 
Progress is difficult to gauge when Ritsu is like this, but you know what? It’s
better than nothing, because it’s words that don’t directly pertain to Isara
Mao. Rei drops down onto the bench, pulling Ritsu back into his lap, tugging
out his earbuds and tucking his iPod away again. “You don’t have to play, you
can just listen,” he simply says, pressing a kiss to the back of Ritsu’s head.
“Let’s see—La Mer, perhaps?” His fingers are already on the keys, shifting
Ritsu in his lap to better press his foot to the pedal, all to make sure
there’s not a blip in sound between the time he takes his iPod away and starts
playing. “You know the second part, if you do want to join in.”
 
“How’d you do it?” Ritsu watches Rei’s hands, the way they caress the keys so
differently from the way he does it himself, delicate and sure at the same
time, as if he’s seeking out tunes instead of creating them, making love to the
piano and the song is their ephemeral child. “I can play music, but it’s
like...you’re finding it.”
 
That’s progress. Rei tries not to sigh too heavily in relief, and instead
gently rests his chin over Ritsu’s shoulder. “That’s such a pretty way of
putting it,” he says with a soft laugh, long, long hours of plucking his way
through Debussy as a middle schooler making the piece fall from his fingers
like second nature, rather than simple memorization. “Don’t sell yourself
short. I practice more than you and I enjoy it more than you do, that’s all.”
 
“She talks to you.” Music is just one more thing--like talking to people, like
being friendly with people, like having a relationship and getting up when it’s
light and traveling and eating--that comes easier to Rei. Not easy, not easy
like those things come to Mao and the rest of the school, but easier. Rei is
solid and warm behind him, and for the moment, that’s enough to calm his racing
heart and just leave him feeling lonely. Mao’s warmth was a comfort, but it
never penetrated beneath his chilly skin. Neither does Rei’s, but he isn’t
expecting it to. It was his expectations that were too high, maybe? Who knows.
All that matters is that he’s lost that source of warmth, and somehow it hurts
even more to know it wasn’t from a place of anger or resentment, but out of
love for other people. At least, he thinks it was. Even Mao is a mystery to
him, on any real level.
 
He lowers his hands to the keys, coming in at his entrance. “Do the pedals for
me?”
 
“Mm, mm.” Switching from the two-handed La Mer to the four-handed is seamless,
and Rei shifts the weight of Ritsu in his lap to more easily split the part.
The timing of pedals for two people instead of one is tricky, but it keeps him
focused, when otherwise, playing duets with Ritsu has always been something of
a way to lull his mind into silence. “You need to give yourself more credit,
Ritsu,” he quietly says, nuzzling into the crook of his neck, crossing his
hands over Ritsu’s to play into his part. “Being ‘good’ or even ’just okay’ at
things is fine, too, you know. You don’t have to be perfect.”
 
Ritsu plays in silence for a few measures, focusing on his breathing, his
timing, on processing so that some things in life actually make sense. “Onii-
chan told me that,” he says softly, feeling his little fingers stretch to the
large gaps, teeth worrying at his lips. “That you learned to be the best at
stuff so people would like you. I don’t...have any other ideas. Except not
being around anymore. I can’t keep...being trouble to you. You’ll get sick of
me like you did when I was little.”
 
“No, I learned to be the best at stuff so you would tell me it was super cool,
and so people would like me enough to pay me money to do it again, so we could
be together.” Rei’s reach is much wider, and his timing precise enough to steal
the upper notes that Ritsu has trouble getting to in time. “Do you know why I
kept trying to push you away when we were younger?”
 
“Cuz I was a brat who was always following you around and you wanted to be
cool.”
 
“Try again. The idea of you getting involved with the idiots I hung out with
was fucking scary.”
 
Ritsu’s face contorts into a frown of uncomprehension. “Then why’d you hang out
with them? I thought they were kinda...I dunno, terrible? But you always looked
like you were having fun.”
 
“Because no one else would hang out with me, because I was moody and dumb and
talked to my violin like it was a real person way past when that was cute.
Ritsu, come on,” Rei sighs, slamming down the final bass chord and promptly
flipping Ritsu around in his lap, plopping him down onto the keys instead in a
cacophony of dissonance so that he can properly look at him. “What if I had let
you come along to Shinjuku and hang out with my shitty band, and you were the
one that ‘producer’ had tried to take home? I would’ve never forgiven myself.
Lots of bad stuff has happened, but you’re okay, you know? You are.”
 
“What would be the difference?” Ritsu twists, getting mildly comfortable on the
ivory and black keys, planting bare feet on either side of Rei’s hips on the
piano bench to look down at him. “I’d still be a vampire, like he turned you.
Maybe you wouldn’t. Maybe you’d be safe or something. M-maybe I’d be dead and
you’d be a classical musician--I know you stopped doing it because I said it
was lame when I was eight, Aniija, I know you did!” And then their parents had
shaken their heads and rolled their eyes at their oldest son, and Ritsu had
been stunned, confused, unable to understand how anything Rei did could
possibly disappoint anyone.
 
“Can you—can you stop for one second and think about how much I don’t want you
dead?” The words actually stick in his throat, and Rei swallows, his hands
curling against Ritsu’s knees. “Stop saying that like it’s a solution. Please.
Because it isn’t. I don’t want to be safe if it means you aren’t, Ritsu. If you
can remember what you said when you were eight years old, then you can remember
at least one time that I’ve told you before that I love you, that I want you
safe, that I want to stay with you, so literally take five seconds and do it.”
 
“Y-you have to say that.” Ritsu’s face twists in bitterness, and he can’t meet
Rei’s eyes. “But I make your life hard. All you do is help me, and all I do is
make your life harder. It’s--you’d be happier if I wasn’t around. I...I think
about it all the time,” he admits. “I’m not saying I’m gonna do anything crazy,
but...”
 
Rei lurches up, grabbing Ritsu by the front of his shirt to haul him forward
and kiss him viciously. It shuts him up, but that’s not the point of grabbing
his face in his hands and kissing him hard enough that their fangs click
together, drawing blood as they nick against tongue and lips. “Stop it,” he
rasps, his stare intent, breath ragged. “Stop putting words in my mouth, just
fucking stop it. I love you, that means I don’t care if you make my life hard.”
 
No one else’s teeth will ever score into his gums like that. No one else is
fucked up like him, not really alive, too dangerous to other humans to be
trusted...but Rei makes it work, and everyone smiles at him...but just barely.
Rei accepts them, enjoys spending time with them...but just barely. Ritsu has
seen his brother shaking and confused after having to go out in the sun, faking
his way through humanity in a way that echoes his own struggles painfully.
 
He leans after the iron taste of blood, shivering as he clutches at Rei’s neck.
“Okay,” he whispers, because it’s just too hard to keep fighting, and dammit,
his heart is sick and sore, and he desperately wants to be loved a little.
“Onii-chan is swearing again. You sound like you used to.” If only Mao would
sound like he used to also, everything would be good again...but this is
enough, for now.
 
At that, Rei chokes out a laugh, knocking his forehead against Ritsu’s. “I’ve
been doing it a lot lately, you just haven’t been around,” he admits, dragging
his fingers back through Ritsu’s hair to tilt his head back and kiss him again.
“Ritsu, let me take care of you. Okay? You know I want to, you’re not forcing
me, you’re…” You’re the only thing I have—it’s on the tip of his tongue, but
it’s not true anymore. Most of the time, it feels true still, when Rei thinks
and worries about nothing but Ritsu (which is often). “You’re everything,” he
quietly finishes, his tongue flicking out reflexively to taste the blood on his
own lips. “I’m not going to leave you.”
 
Ritsu nods again, and hiccups a little, scrubbing at his eyes reflexively even
though he isn’t crying. It’s okay if I let him take care of me some, he tells
himself, though that doesn’t help him believe it.It’s okay, if I’m trying to be
better, and I will. “Just...if I’m too much. If I’m hurting you too much or
being too much trouble. Kaoru-kun better be good to you, or I’ll eat him.”
 
“No, you’re going to be sweet to Kaoru-kun, no matter what. He’s a good boy.”
Rei heaves a sigh, gently clapping his hands to either side of Ritsu’s face.
“When’s the last time you had a real drink?”
 
Ritsu shrugs. “Not too long. I’ve been taking little sips from my unit.
Nothing...nothing feels that good anymore, except going the whole way.”
 
“Little sips aren’t a real drink. I have a few bags of blood in the freezer,
you should—“ Rei pauses, turning his head at the sound of a phone buzzing away
from inside of his coffin. “…Do you want to keep ignoring that?” It’s not an
accusatory question.
 
There’s a long silence, a buzz, then a long sigh from Ritsu, who hops off the
piano and grabs the phone. “I’m okay now. I should make up with him. I...I
don’t want to lose him as a friend. It’s not really Maa-kun’s fault.”
 
Rei holds his hands up, signaling the end of his involvement in any
conversation dealing with Isara Mao. “You do that, and I’m going to go make you
a slushie. Refreshing in the summer, let me tell you.”
 
One eyebrow raises, intrigued. “A blood smoothie? Heh, sounds like something
Ecchan would like. He just discovered smoothies...”
 
“Ah, ah, ah, my apartment is free of Tenshouin-related conversations, and it’s
going to say that way~” Rei hums, backing out of his room. “I’ll come check on
you once it’s done!”
 
Oh, god. It’s kind of a relief to be able to shut the door and lock Ritsu back
up into his room again. A successful outcome is fantastic, but it still leaves
him shaky and drained, and Rei beelines to the kitchen in a weary trudge. He
sort of hugs the refrigerator for a moment, breathing a sigh against its
pebbled white surface. Nice. Nice going. You fixed the thing, now what?
 
A plate stuffed with margherita pizza, topped with roasted tomatoes and basil,
is promptly shoved in front of Rei’s nose. “You look like Dead, not just
Undead,” Kaoru sing-songs, holding the plate with one hand, the other cocked on
his hip. “Eat, then decompress.”
 
The way his eyes fill with tears is unexpected, but not unwarranted, Rei
thinks. “Kaoru-kun, you’re an angel,” he sniffs, wiping at his eyes hurriedly
as he takes the plate. “Let me just—I have to take out dinner for Ritsu to
thaw, and…and then I’ll eat. I can’t miss another piece of your pizza, I’ll
die.”
 
“Very overdramatic, Sakuma-san. I think you need to do something more than
shove pizza at someone to be an angel, or have they lowered the standards? I’m
all for lowered standards!”
 
Rei sets the plate down on the kitchen table and grabs Kaoru in the same
motion, hauling him close and hooking his chin over his shoulder as he huddles
up close. “Recharging time,” he murmurs, shutting his eyes for a moment.
“Please bear it.” Kaoru is warm, so warm, and it’s always expensive cologne
that hits Rei’s nose first these days, not the strong pulse of his blood…though
that’s a secondary scent that lingers and drives him mildly insane.
 
This behavior isn’t that strange, these days, and Kaoru pats Rei’s back,
rubbing it a little. “Yes, yes. As much as you like. Hey, maybe I should ask
you for things when you’re like this? Sakuma-san, come surfing with me, we can
go to Tanegashima and I’ll bring a huge umbrella.”
 
“You always want to go to Tanegashima,” comes the muffled half-complaint from
Kaoru’s shoulder. “Not gonna surf, but I’ll sit on the beach and watch you.
Next request.”
 
“Hmm...” Kaoru pretends to think for a while, then pats Rei’s back again. “I
want you to finger me again tonight.”
 
“Mm. Maybe if you let me put it in.”
 
“I just want to enjoy the feeling without pressure! Sakuma-saaaaan, you should
spoil your cute boyfriend a little.”
 
“Fine, fine,” Rei sighs, nuzzling his face into Kaoru’s neck. “Maybe one of
these days you’ll stop being afraid of my dick.”
 
“Yeah, the day it stops getting that big when it’s hard,” Kaoru says dryly. He
shifts, tugging his shirt to the side, not sure whether to be excited or
apprehensive. “Hungry?”
 
“You know, I’m pretty good at making it fit places…” Rei trails off, suddenly
and acutely distracted. “It’s lewd when you offer like that, Kaoru-kun,” he
huffs, the arms around Kaoru’s waist tightening as they slink lower. “I’m
supposed to be eating your pizza.”
 
“Ooh, so I should save my blood for dessert?” Kaoru teases. “Is that what
you’re hinting?” He nuzzles into Rei’s hair, letting his hips rock back against
Rei’s tug. “Or am I the dessert you want so bad? Nnh, you can have whatever you
want, Rei...”
 
Rei can’t say no, not when Kaoru is inviting him so…so cutely. A solid shove
presses Kaoru’s back up against the fridge, Rei’s fingers curling around the
curve of his ass to squeeze when he mouths a hot, wet kiss to the side of
Kaoru’s neck, sucking gently, just enough to bring more of that blood to the
surface. “You’re so cute,” he mutters distractedly. “That’s not fair. But don’t
stop.”
 
Kaoru might as well be dessert, what with how just pricking his fangs to the
skin and drawing a thin streak of blood makes Rei’s heart thud like he’s had
far, far too much sugar. He licks that up with a single swipe of his tongue
before biting down in a careful strike, always intent on making it as painless
as possible for Kaoru. It’s less about feeding, more about the way that warm,
coppery blood coats his tongue, and Rei groans, his fingers kneading, savoring
each swallow of blood that he allows himself.
 
The shudders start at Kaoru’s neck, sure, but they ricochet right down to the
base of his spine, and his legs shift to let his feet plant more firmly on the
floor. The drowsiness isn’t as strong this time, but the arousal is just as
powerful as the first time, even after months of Rei biting him up. He still
feels kinda boneless, kinda dizzy, kinda like he wants to let Rei do whatever
he wants. “Fuck it,” he slurs, nails dragging down Rei’s back. “You can put it
in if you want.”
 
The nails on his back make Rei arch with a shudder of his own, and he forces
his mouth off of Kaoru’s neck, afraid he’ll drink too much with an offer like
that on the table. “Don’t say that if you don’t mean it,” he says with a ragged
laugh, licking at his blood-stained lips, his hands giving Kaoru’s ass another,
firm squeeze. “I mean—I’ll finger you all you want beforehand, and make it
really, really good—“
 
“That sounds great,” Kaoru says with a sigh, absently dragging a hand down his
own chest, then up again, flicking one metal ring between his fingers, which
makes him whimper. “Do it good enough and I probably won’t even complain,
you’ve got me kind of addicted.”
 
Ah. Shit. Rei always forgets about those. Even after drinking, his mouth is
suddenly dry, and he swallows, grabbing Kaoru’s hand to swiftly haul him out of
the kitchen. “Then allow me to sate your addiction,” he says eagerly, pulling
Kaoru into a kiss before they even make it to Kaoru’s bedroom, where his big,
soft futon is waiting. “Mnn, Kaoru-kun, don’t play with your piercings like
that, it makes me want to be mean to you.”
 
Kaoru flops down onto the futon, hands dropping to unfasten his pants as fast
as possible, pulling out his cock with a sigh of relief, rubbing it
shamelessly, selfishly, using his other hand to ruck up his shirt, exposing
those shiny piercings. “You should...buy me new decorations, Sakuma-san. You
wanna see little rubies in the hoops or something? Or would that make you think
of blood? Nnh, they’re hard, I’m hard, it’s hard everywhere, please touch
me...”
 
Rei’s eyes glaze, and he pounces thoughtlessly, yanking Kaoru’s pants down the
rest of the way and shoving his thighs apart. “L-later, I’ll buy you whatever
you want later,” he mutters, heatedly kissing Kaoru’s neck again, one-handedly
fumbling for the nearby bottle of lube already as his other fingers reach up.
He hooks one finger into the first hoop he reaches, tugging gently. “You look
so sexy with these—when you wear something tight, or get caught in the rain and
I can see every bit of you through your shirt, it makes me wanna die just
looking at you.”
 
“Well, yeah,” Kaoru breathes, laughing and kicking his pants away, squirming
against the hold on his chest that sparks arousal, makes heat shoot through
him. “I’m sexy as hell, you know? Nnh, Sakuma-san, get ‘em all wet, you’re so
hot, I want you to, I love watching your face when they’re in me, you’re gonna
make me...” He’s almost ready to come already just from the bite and the touch
to his nipple, and Rei’s far too good with his fingers. “What’s it feel like,
with a cock instead of fingers?”
 
Playing around with those piercings could occupy far too much of his time. The
way Kaoru squirms every single time he tugs, sucks in a breath too fast when he
pinches his nipple and makes it achingly hard—Rei shifts, shutting his eyes
briefly, reeling in the urge to tug and tease and maybe bite again until Kaoru
comes. “Really…really full,” he settles upon as an answer, reluctantly pulling
his hand back to uncap the lube and get his fingers nice and slick. “Kinda like
you’re always about to come, too, which can be nice, but…overwhelming.” At
least Kaoru’s gotten a lot better about that first finger, which slides in nice
and easy after teasing his hole for just a second. “It’s pretty easy to just
zone out and enjoy when you’re taking a dick, I think. Mmn, Kaoru-kun, you’re
always so nice and tight…”
 
“Heh...” Kaoru already feels the prickle of sweat around his hairline that
notifies him he’s about to have something really hot happen to him. He squirms
a little, sucking in a breath when Rei starts working him from the inside out.
He twists his legs apart farther, cock hard and upright between his thighs.
“You sound so surprised, are you expecting me to get loose and sloppy or
something? It’s good to be tight, right? I don’t want anything to happen to me
there if I let you put it in...”
 
“Nothing’s going to happen,” Rei reassures him, eyes lidded as he steadies
Kaoru with a hand easily on his hip, tugging him down when he presses that one
finger in deeper, curling it back towards himself. “Just, mm, you always get so
squirmy, and squeeze down, whether you realize it or not,” he teases. “It’s
hot. Makes me think all the time what you’d feel like on my cock.” Which, of
course, just makes him wriggle that second finger in faster, shoving them in
deep, and lurching forward to suck some of the beading sweat off of one of
Kaoru’s collarbones before his mouth slides down, teeth catching on one of
those little hoops in his nipples and tugging.
 
All of Kaoru’s breath escapes at once, a low wheezing whine at the way he’s
finally getting what he wants, finally getting that slight stretch, that slick
heat coiling deep inside of him. It feels different than any other kind of sex,
far more intimate, like something he should feel ashamed to enjoy this much.
“Mmmn, Sakuma-san, if getting fucked feels like this...you should do it,
definitely.” He’s still a little lightheaded from the first bite, enough to
make him agree easier than he ever would.
 
“He’s right, Onii-chan. You should do it. Definitely.”
 
The jolt of nerves that runs down Rei’s spine makes him jerk his head up, and
only by the grace of gods that don’t exist do his fangs not catch and yank too
hard on that nipple ring. Normal reactions to little brothers walking in while
big brothers are trying to get laid probably do not include being still
achingly hard and kind of lightheaded from the sudden scrutiny, which, uh,
well. Rei knows by now there’s something really not normal in his brain.
 
“R…Ritsu…ah…” Rei swallows, his hand stilling, but not pulling out, his fingers
still buried in deep and a hairsbreadth from stroking and pressing something
really, really good. “I got distracted, as you can see—“ Normal older brothers
also tell their little brothers to get the fuck out.
 
Ritsu detaches himself from the doorway, slowly pacing to the edge of the
futon, looking down at both of them with a shadowed, unreadable look on his
face. He nods at Rei, then back to Kaoru. “Told you. Do it. I wanna watch it go
in him.”
 
Kaoru lets out a strangled huff of air, head rolling back onto the pillow as he
grabs for Rei. There’s a strange little buzzing in his head, drowning out the
voice that tells him to run from these weird brothers, run to somewhere safe.
But Rei’s fingers are so good, his voice is so soothing, and Ritsu’s judgmental
face looks so cute and girly with his high voice... “Y-yeah,” he whispers,
feeling himself squeeze and clench down against those fingers. “Let him watch.”
 
Normally, Rei would…no, actually, there’s no gauge for normal in this
situation. Ritsu has never walked in on him with someone else because there’s
never been anyone else, and the idea has never even crossed Rei’s mind.
 
What Rei does know, however, is that Ritsu is absolutely not just going to
watch.
 
That makes Rei nervous, but he makes a valiant attempt to not let it show on
his face. “Okay,” he breathes, lurching forward to quickly kiss Kaoru, hoping
the reassurance of nothing weird is going to happen, I’m not going to let it
shows through. “I’m not done taking care of you yet, though. So let me—“ When
Kaoru squeezes down like that, it’s almost impossible to get that third finger
inside, so Rei doesn’t try just yet. First is wriggling the first two deeper
and finally curling slow and gentle against Kaoru’s prostate, stroking with the
precision of someone that has done this to Kaoru specifically many times
before. That’s not going to change just because Ritsu is watching them so
intently, critical and judging, and ah, the sweat that drips down the back of
Rei’s neck isn’t entirely about being turned on.
 
For a full twenty seconds, Kaoru forgets there’s anyone in the room. He forgets
Ritsu, even forgets Rei, halfway forgets himself when those fingers curl and
stroke and force whimpers out of his throat, sparking half-frantic pleasure in
his mind so hard he can only groan and writhe, gripping the sheets as his
thighs fall further apart. “G-god,” he chokes out, toes curling, digging into
the bed. “Rei...just like that, I just want--more--”
 
One cool finger strokes down his chest, making him gasp, the nail hooking into
one innocuous silver ring. “Did you get these done for my brother?” Ritsu asks,
eyes hooded, tone light and curious. “Does he like to play with them?”
 
Kaoru is sure his cock should not be so hard at being toyed with like this,
between two brothers with something to apparently prove, but it just makes him
squirm. “I...yeah,” he breathes, pupils blown wide with urgent lust, hungry for
something to rub against.
 
“Be nice.” It’s a low warning, but a warning nonetheless, Rei’s eyes trained on
the way Ritsu’s fingers move even as his own busy themselves with finally
working a third finger inside, wriggling it in deep and thorough. He steadies
Kaoru with his other hand kneading into the inside of one thigh as he puts a
little of his weight behind the next, firm thrust of his fingers, curling them
deep and intent on milking that pleasure as long as he can…even if Ritsu is
being…well, Ritsu. “Kaoru-kun only gets to feel good, Ritsu. You’re not allowed
to be mean to him at all, all right?”
 
“Not being mean.” Ritsu turns his head, blinking sleepily at Rei, a warning
hint of red flickering in his eyes. “It’s like Aniija doesn’t think I’m fun to
have around, hmm...” His finger catches in the ring, and Kaoru gasps, back
arching off the bed, a strangled yelp coming from his mouth as his cock spurts
hot and wet over his own belly, that spike of pleasure too much, too hot, too
fast.
 
“See?” Ritsu unhooks his finger, smirking as he drags a nail through the
pooling mess on Kaoru’s thighs and hips and belly, bringing it to his lips.
“Kaoru-kun likes it when I play with him, even if you don’t.”
 
“Didn’t say that,” Rei grumbles, heaving a sigh of regret that it happened so
fast. He can feel the way Kaoru squirms and twitches around just his fingers,
and he doesn’t pull them out, not yet. “You rushed it, though.” It’s intensely
distracting to be caught between Ritsu licking his fingers clean like some kind
of lewd cat, and Kaoru, twitching and breathless on the futon underneath him,
and Rei settles first for bending down to mouth a kiss to Kaoru’s neck,
nuzzling up behind his ear. “Easy, easy…mmn, I’m not done playing with you yet,
Kaoru-kun, I’ll take care of you.”
 
Kaoru’s whole body tingles, just as much with anticipation as with pleasure,
his breath refusing to come slower no matter how he tries to breathe carefully.
Rei is gorgeous above him, dark and pale and sleek and sexy, and his features
blur together with Ritsu’s, until the thought clicks into his mind that it’s
not weird, it’s just like two hot sisters who both want to hook up.
 
That makes sense, and Kaoru reaches for Rei, hands sliding down his back,
pulling him in close with lidded eyes. “Keep going,” he breathes, feeling like
he should do something other than lay there and get pleasured. “Nnh, put it in,
it’ll--”
 
Ritsu squeezes Rei’s arm, suddenly intent. “Lemme get it ready,” he suggests,
licking his lips as he looks down, daring Rei to refuse him.
 
Gross, you’re gross! Rei’s mind shrieks at him, which isn’t a thought that he’s
had about this kind of thing in at least a year. Maybe it’s the fact that Kaoru
is here, even if he isn’t judging, even if he’s having a good time, even if…
 
I’m gross, and so, so basic,Rei weakly thinks, swallowing hard, his eyes
fixated on the swell of Ritsu’s lower lip, glistening now from where his tongue
runs over it. “Y-yeah…ah…Kaoru-kun, just wait, just a second,” he rasps,
lurching down to seal his mouth against Kaoru’s, hot and sweet and letting his
fangs gently catch against his lower lip as he slowly drags his fingers out.
“Ritsu’s gonna make it even better, okay?” This feels a little bit like a trap,
but so help him, his hand is already yanking at the waistband of his pajamas.
 
Ritsu doesn’t waste any time, lurching forward to yank his brother’s pants
down, mouthing hot and wet over the leaking tip of Rei’s cock. He moans against
it, the tip of his tongue digging into the slit in the head, then dragging the
flat of his tongue beneath, catching on every vein and ridge. He coughs, chokes
a little, but tucks his hair behind his ears, diving down further anyway,
ignoring the way he wants to gag. Rei’s cock is always distractingly musky and
huge, making him forget that he’s doing this for some kind of advantage, some
kind of leg up on his stupid cheating brother...but his cock is so nice, it’s
hard to think about possibly biting.
 
It’s one thing to hear that Rei is fucking his little brother, apparently, and
another to actually see said little brother choking on that familiar hard cock.
Kaoru’s eyes glaze at the sight, and he props himself up on his elbows, not
wanting to miss a single second, cock already hard again. It hadn’t really gone
soft, just flagged a little after his first orgasm, but the flagging seems to
be past. He looks up at Rei, dragging his nails down his back. “That good? You
like his mouth?”
 
Ritsu shouldn’t be so good at this.
 
It doesn’t make sense. Ritsu is pretty and delicate and always has been, but
there’s no denying that he’s the only one that can choke down his cock so
easily. Rei strangles a groan that turns into a whimper, and his eyes are
lidded, dark when he gives into the urge to sink a hand into Ritsu’s hair,
helplessly urging his head down, trying to fit those last couple of centimeters
down his throat.
 
You’re the only one good at this, you’re the only one that takes my cock like
this—those thoughts just seem to make him harder when he’s leaking over Ritsu’s
tongue, and it’s Kaoru’s nails against his skin that snap him out of that
single-minded focus. He exhales a ragged breath through his nose when his hips
snap forward, shoving his cock down Ritsu’s throat whether he’s really ready
for it or not. “Sorry, s-sorry,” he gasps, his nails digging into Ritsu’s
scalp. “Shit, sorry. God, h-he has the best mouth, I can’t help it.” It’s one
thing for Kaoru to know he’s fucking his little brother. It’s something else
for Kaoru to see it, and a strange mix of shame and arousal makes his face
flush hot.
 
Tears leak out of Ritsu’s eyes, and his sucking is sloppy and wet, pathetic
noises filtering out from around Rei’s thick cock stretching his lips wide. He
already feels hot and hard and ready, even as his mouth is bruised and swollen,
Rei’s hands unrelenting in his hair, forcing him down.
 
Two can play, Onii-chan...
 
Two slick fingers slide suddenly up and into Rei’s hole, swiftly enough that he
doesn’t have time to jerk away before they’re in, Ritsu’s other hand holding
Rei’s hip still, nails digging in deep.
 
Not fair, not fair, not fair. The breath in Rei’s lungs is gone in an instant,
and his thighs tremble, tension and the urge to squirm and shift back against
his bratty little brother’s hand making even his hands shake in Ritsu’s hair.
Ritsu knows the game he’s playing. Lend himself back to the achy, tight stretch
of those fingers and give up, or just—just keep having Ritsu’s mouth, and…
 
“If you make me come, that’s not fair,” Rei whispers, his fingers slowly
loosening in Ritsu’s hair, his hips rocking back against Ritsu’s hand with a
hitching sigh. He glances down, sweat dripping down the line of his jaw, and
tries to gentle the tug on Ritsu’s hair to ease him off of his cock.
“Ritsu—Ritsu, be nice, please…”
 
Ritsu almost presses the issue, almost sucks hard and fast and curls his
fingers wickedly...but Rei’s pleading is fun, too.
 
He pulls his head off, licking sticky lips, but doesn’t pull out his fingers.
He adds a third anyway, working it in with a sigh. He hasn’t done this often,
but Rei always gets so squirmy when he does that it’s almost worth it. He turns
his head, a sleepy, wicked little grin on his face. “You fuck him, Kaoru-kun?
Does my pretty brother let you spread his legs whenever you want?”
 
The intensity of that focused gaze is enough to make Kaoru’s cock twitch, and
he nods with a muttered, “Sorry, Sakuma-san...”
 
“Don’t apologize. Mm, I’ll let him fuck you.” Ritsu curls his fingers
deliberately, digging in deep. “And I’ll fuck you, Aniija.”
 
Rei swears he feels his spine nearly crumple, and his hands move to clutch at
Ritsu’s shoulders instead. The way Ritsu curls his fingers leaves his breath
hiccuping, another, heavy drop of precome beading at the tip of his cock as it
twitches and throbs. “L…let me take care of Kaoru-kun first,” he groans, his
head tipping forward, hair swaying over his face. He’s going to die. It takes
so much effort not to give up and come that it almost hurts, and Ritsu—Ritsu
being like this—that’s making everything worse. His cock seems to think it’s
the other way around, but, well… “He’s never…I-I’ve never…I wanna make it good
for him.”
 
Ritsu pauses his fingers, cocking his head to the side as he looks back at
Kaoru. “Kaoru-kun is a virgin?”
 
Kaoru laughs, a little nervously. “Ah, no. Not even close to a virgin.”
 
“Kaoru-kun hasn’t ever had a dick up his ass before, though?”
 
Kaoru flushes but shoves a little at Ritsu’s shoulder. “Be nice, kiddo. I’m
working on it.”
 
Slowly Ritsu nods, and pulls his fingers out. “I want to hate you,” he says
frankly. “But you make Aniija kinda happy, or as much as anyone can make that
sack of sadness happy. So I’ll let him do you first, and then I’ll do him.
Sound good?”
 
“I mean--”
 
Ritsu tweaks Kaoru’s nipple ring, eliciting a yelp. “I mean, yeah, sounds good,
ow!”
 
Rei flops back with a groan, burying his face into one hand as he rolls onto
his side. “Ritsu, I told you to be nice,” he complains, rolling once more to
wriggle on top of Kaoru once more, burying his face into his hair. “You’re
snapping him out of it. Kaoru-kun was all high and floaty after I drank and now
he’s already coming down so he’s gonna think about it too much…”
 
Ritsu smiles, flashing his fangs. “I can fix that.”
 
A low, warning growl rumbles up from Rei’s throat before he even realizes it’s
happening. “No.”
 
Ritsu’s face falls, growing sulky as he pulls back. “Wouldn’t’ve happened if
you’d come back to sit with me instead of--”
 
Kaoru moves, grabbing Ritsu by the cheeks and kissing him suddenly, shoving a
tongue into his mouth to shut him up, teeth nipping at Ritsu’s lips. “Sorry I
stole him, Ritsu-chan,” he says, eyes alight. “Mind sharing, just this once?”
 
Apparently, Kaoru’s sunshiney charm works even on pouty vampires, because Ritsu
draws back, grumbling. “Just think Aniija shouldn’t complain so much, that’s
all. Fine, whatever, I’ll be good.”
 
Did I seriously just growl at my little brother? Like an animal?Gross. Being a
vampire is fucking weird sometimes. More importantly, Kaoru is a miracle
worker. Rei has just come to accept this, because if he can make Ritsu chill
out and stop pouting and being dreadful, then he really can do anything.
“Kaoru-kun…” he hums, mouthing a kiss to the side of his neck where he bit
before, his cock still achingly hard as he wriggles up between Kaoru’s legs
again. “Kaoru-kun, you should let me again.”
 
“Do it.” The order is without hesitation, and Kaoru’s head lolls to the side as
his legs start to twitch with nerves. “I don’t wanna be all tense and nervous.”
 
“You’ll like it,” Ritsu murmurs. He sits back on his heels in something like
seiza, hand dragging shamelessly down to slide into his own pants, starting to
stroke. “Aniija is really good at it. You’d better like it.”
 
Rei’s eyes briefly flick sideways, to the way Ritsu’s hand moves not-so-subtly
south, and he can’t stop himself even if he wanted to. He bites, barely a
centimeter from the last spot his fangs sunk into, and tasting Kaoru again in
such a short period of time makes him dizzy.
 
Just biting is enough to make him hard, but when he’s already aching like this,
it’s mind-numbing. Rei barely manages to wrench his mouth away, panting as he
sucks on the mark he left, lapping up the last couple of drops of blood from an
uncharacteristically sloppy feeding as he blindly grabs for the bottle of lube
again. “Gonna make it so good for you,” he mutters, kissing Kaoru’s neck again,
so, so tempted to bite again, and only just barely not. Lube drips over his
fingers, over his palm, and wrapping it around his own cock makes him shiver
and rut forward, the head of it pressing against Kaoru’s hole, rubbing there.
“You’re not gonna want me to stop.”
 
The pleasure doesn’t shoot through Kaoru so swiftly this time, fizzling slowly
from his neck down. It doesn’t make it too far, but it’s enough to make him
feel more boneless than usual, more agreeable and wobbly than usual, and he
smiles hazily. Rei’s cock feels huge against him, but ah, he wants it. “Fuck
me,” he whines, hearing himself and not caring how he sounds. “Rei, please--”
 
If he were thinking straight, Rei might take his time a little more. He’s not,
not when he has an audience in Ritsu, of all people, and Kaoru is squirming and
begging underneath him, legs spread. Rei sucks on a patch of skin in the crook
of his shoulder, hikes up one of Kaoru’s legs to sling it into the crook of his
elbow, and tries not to go too fast when he pushes inside for the first time.
 
It doesn’t matter if he’s slick and dripping and Kaoru’s already been fingered
if Kaoru’s still so…so tight. Rei’s breath stutters when just the head going
inside takes effort, and ah, maybe he’s a bad person for loving how tight that
squeeze is when it finally sinks inside and every centimeter after that is
much, much easier. His fingers bite into the back of Kaoru’s thigh, holding him
still, and Rei feels the sweat trickling down his back when he scoots his knees
closer, shoving his cock in deeper. “Good?” he breathlessly asks. “Fuck, Kaoru,
you feel good, t-tell me…tell me how it feels…”
 
“...full.”
 
There’s an odd sensation in Kaoru’s belly, like it’s so full he’s cramping and
uncomfortable, but the sensation is so powerful it almost feels painful
automatically, just because it’s so much more than he’s ever taken. He hisses
out a breath, trying not to squeeze down too hard, mildly afraid that he’ll
wind up clenching so hard he actually hurts Rei’s cock.
 
That fullness...is not without its draw. Each centimeter sinking into him feels
like it’s dragging him to somewhere he’s never been, driving him to a new
height, and the venom pumping through his blood makes him shiver, then relax
around the brutal stretch. “S-so good,” he says, sweat beading at his hairline
as he drags a hand down Rei’s neck and back. “So, so good, shit, you’re in me,
god, that feels so weird...”
 
“His face is so red, Onii-chan,” Ritsu breathes, watching unapologetically,
hand busy down the front of his pants. “I bet you could turn Kaoru-kun into a
real cockslut.”
 
“He already likes being fingered more than anything,” Rei breathes, mindlessly
nuzzling into Kaoru’s neck, mouthing kisses there as his mind clicks off,
focusing on nothing but how good Kaoru feels, how Kaoru is clinging to him, how
Kaoru is clenching around him and not telling him to stop. He slings Kaoru’s
leg over his shoulder in short order, hands on his hips tugging him down, just
a few more centimeters to go before he’s completely inside. “You’re being so
good for me, Kaoru-kun,” he pants out, reaching up with eager, searching
fingers to flick one of Kaoru’s nipples, hooking a finger into the little hoop
to tug on it when he thrusts in.
 
Kaoru’s body gives up, mind sparks out, and then he’s nothing but a mass of
electrical signals, his body writhing slowly under Rei’s ministrations. “Fuck
me,” he whines, arching down however he can, feeling slick wet fluid dripping
all over his belly and chest as Rei bends him in half. “Rei...Rei---ah, fuck,
please--”
 
Soft wet sounds come from Ritsu, his eyes huge, fixed on Kaoru’s stretched,
stuffed hole. A stab of jealousy shoots through him, especially when he sees
how Kaoru writhes at every touch to his nipple rings. He starts to say
something, then forgets what, licking his lips and shifting closer, hand
working fast on his cock as he watches Rei pound into Kaoru’s tight hole.
 
It’s with a breathless grunt that Rei manages to shove all the way inside,
until their skin sticks together and he’s grinding in at such a perfect angle
that his eyes glaze and flutter shut.
 
Kaoru arches and whines like he’s going to die if he doesn’t get more, so Rei
doesn’t bother holding back much. He plants a hand on the futon, his nails
digging in until his fingers are white-knuckled when he draws back, panting out
ragged breaths each time he shoves back inside, fucking Kaoru as thoroughly as
he ever could. “You’re gonna come all over my cock, aren’t you?” he murmurs,
his voice rough at the edges as he bends his head, his mouth closing over one
of those nipples inside, his teeth catching on the ring to tug on it when his
tongue gets tired of flicking it over. “That’s a good boy—nnn, Ritsu, isn’t he
cute? Look how good he’s being.”
 
“He likes it, Aniija.”
 
Ritsu’s breath comes faster as his hand moves in time with his breathing,
giving that urgent friction he needs so badly. He hates to admit it, but Kaoru
looks good like this, long lean legs shoved up around his ears, that toned body
contorted in pleasure so intense it makes him shudder. “Fuck him hard,” Ritsu
urges, ripping his hand away to wrap it around Kaoru’s cock, starting to milk
him in time with Rei’s thrusts. “As hard as you fuck me, Aniija, you know he
loves it.”
 
“Ohhh, god...” Kaoru bites his lip, rutting helplessly into Ritsu’s cool hand,
shoving down onto Rei’s cock. “It’s too much, fuck, I’m--”
 
As hard as you fuck me—that, combined with Ritsu’s pretty, pale hand shoved
between them, with just the scrape of his knuckles sometimes against Rei’s skin
the only point of contact between them, that’s enough for Rei’s good sense to
fizzle out to nothing.
 
Kaoru’s already rutting against him like he’s desperate, and Rei caters to that
with long, deep thrusts that match the roll of Kaoru’s hips. Planting long,
sucking kisses up the insides of Kaoru’s legs whenever he shoves in hard,
grinds into the angles that make Kaoru whimper and squeak and his voice hit a
higher pitch than Rei ever remembers—that all yields bruises in interesting
planes, bruises he’ll want to sink his teeth into later to remind Kaoru of how
much he likes having a dick in him.
 
It’s the burning, intense, oddly unfocused eyes of Sakuma Ritsu that Kaoru sees
last before he cries out, convulsing in an utter ruin of pleasure, letting it
tear him apart as he thrashes on the bed, colors bursting behind his eyes. The
second he comes, his world narrows to the thick, intrusive feeling of Rei’s
cock in him, hammering in too hard, too intense, too much in all his sensitive
places, dragging out the last spurts of pleasure by force as he lets out soft
little yelps.
 
Ritsu grunts, squeezing down to draw out another yelp, and comes in his pants,
rubbing against the palm of his other hand as he stares Kaoru down. “Come in
him,” he whispers, eyes locked on Kaoru. “Onii-chan, I never get to watch like
this...”
 
Rei doesn’t think or hear beyond a few choice things—the way Kaoru whimpers and
yelps and writhes, and the way Onii-chan falls so breathlessly from Ritsu’s
lips.
 
Rei’s hands both sink into the futon as he comes, panting and trembling, barely
lasting another thrust after Kaoru twists beneath him like he’s about to lose
his mind. Every muscle in his back and legs and arms is a tense, corded thing,
and his arms wobble viciously first, threatening to give out when every rolling
spasm that trickles down his spine leaves him to weakly grind forward, just to
squeeze out that last little bit of pleasure.
 
“Good…Kaoru-kun, you’re so…” Rei dazedly trails off, flushed and unfocused as
he forces himself to lean back, lowering Kaoru’s legs before they can start to
cramp. “So, so good…nnn…Ritsu, come here, did you like that?” So help him,
Ritsu’s right there, and reaching for him is second nature.
 
Ritsu crawls onto his brother’s lap like it’s where he belongs, nuzzling into
his neck possessively. “Nn. You do that so good, Onii-chan...you like it when I
watch? I think Kaoru-kun did.”
 
“God.”
 
Kaoru’s voice is a ragged groan, and he tugs a pillow over his face with the
last of his energy, collapsing down to the bed. “Unfair. You’re...you’re both
really unfair.”
 
“Kaoru-kun’s so cute, though,” Rei contently sighs, still high enough on a
very, very intense orgasm to be entirely unashamed of unsticking himself from
Kaoru—carefully, mind, it’s a process—and then rolling sideways with Ritsu, his
head lolling back to let Ritsu have at his neck all he wants. “Makes me nervous
when you watch,” he admits. “But I like it.”
 
Ritsu yawns, stretching a little, eyes lidded and sleepy. “Good, I’m giving off
the right impression. Ah, thanks for the meal...” His teeth sink in deep
unrepentantly, letting the sweet bright burst of blood flood across his tongue.
 
This is the first time that Rei realizes that, hm, maybe Ritsu and I go about
this all kind of strangely, because that single bite makes Rei arch up with a
throaty groan, his hands automatically sliding low to cup and squeeze the curve
of Ritsu’s ass. Normal people, Rei vaguely deduces, don’t immediately start
going at it again. He and Kaoru certainly don’t, not to this extent. “Nnn,
Ritsuuu…you bite so hard, be nice to your big brother~…” 
 
“....nah.”
 
Ritsu swipes his tongue over the wound, then bites again, and again, suddenly
hungry for more than just blood, hungry for every part of Rei, hungry to prove
that Rei is his. He shoves Rei down onto his back, climbing onto him and
stripping off his shirt, eyes narrow and slitted. “Aniija doesn’t deserve
niceness. He deserves to make it up to me.”
 
It stings when Ritsu bites like that, but it doesn’t stop Rei from shivering,
flopping back with a gulp of breath. “W…whatever you want.” His gaze briefly
flicks sideways, making sure Kaoru isn’t dead. Ritsu’s not letting him get out
of this, and, well…it’s not like he wants out of it.
 
Ritsu sits back, straddling Rei’s hips with a suddenly unhappy shadow crossing
his face. “I want you to take care of me. But maybe you only care about Kaoru-
kun now.”
 
“No, no no no no, no,” Rei hurriedly protests, shoving himself up onto his
elbows and reaching immediately for Ritsu’s hands. “That’s not it at all.
However you want me to take care of you, I will. Ritsu, let me spoil you.”
 
Ritsu slaps his hands away, pulling away to roll off of Rei, mood slowly fading
to sullen and sulky. “Sure, you care when I tell you to. Get lost, Aniija. I’m
going home.”
 
Kaoru’s hand shoots out, grabbing Ritsu’s wrist, stroking over it with one
thumb. “Chill, kiddo,” he says softly, head pillowed on one hand, blinking
sleepily. “Your brother is bad at talking to you, but he wants you here.
It’s...kind of obvious. Right, Sakuma-san?”
 
“Mm, mm, what Kaoru-kun said.” Bad at talking to him? That’s mean! It’s not the
time to whine about that, though, and instead, Rei paws gently at Ritsu’s arm,
trying to tug him close again. “Ritsu, sweet, you know I’d die for a chance to
spoil you however you want—so, let me? Please?”
 
It’s on the tip of Ritsu’s tongue to demand that Rei pay attention to only him,
to prove his love by kicking Kaoru out...but Kaoru’s voice is kinda soothing,
his hands kind of sweet, and he huffs, flopping down onto Rei’s chest.
“Whatever. Just pet me, I’m not horny anymore.”
 
Fickle brat, Rei’s mind wearily supplies, but he immediately wraps his arms
around Ritsu all the same, petting a hand through his hair and down his back.
“You’re so cute, Ritsu,” he murmurs, rolling partially onto his side to better
cuddle Ritsu into his chest. Thank you he mouths to Kaoru.
 
Kaoru winks, then surveys the pair for a moment before rolling to Rei’s other
side, curling up there. A moment later, something twinges down low, followed by
a warm dripping that makes his eyes fly open. “Um...how exactly do I...clean up
after something like this?”
 
“You beat your boyfriend over the head for not wearing a condom, first of all,”
Rei sighs, apologetically flopping his head back against Kaoru’s shoulder as he
strokes his fingers down the back of Ritsu’s neck. “Sorry. It’s going to leak a
bit, not much you can do about it. A hot bath helps. I can take the duvet in
for cleaning later.”
 
“Whoa, that’s super gross.” Kaoru experimentally flexes down, then feels his
face turn grey and pale, and bolts out of the bed to the bathroom, a whine of
misery following him out.
 
Ritsu snickers, burrowing into Rei’s side. “Now he’s not gonna let you do it
again, Aniija.”
 
“You know, that’s fair,” Rei says, trying not to start giggling when he really
should be more sympathetic (and helpful). He snuggles closer, hooking one leg
over Ritsu’s hip. “It’s only fine because he’s good enough with his own dick
that I don’t mind. Ah, is that mean of me to say? Kaoru-kun,” he calls. “Do you
need me?”
 
“No offense,” Kaoru calls back, “but I’ll probably strangle you to death if you
came in here, so no thank you!”
 
“Aniija is a bad boyfriend. A really, really bad boyfriend. And Kaoru-kun is a
whiny bottom.” Ritsu snuggles into Rei’s shoulder, still giggling. “I like it
when you come in me.”
 
“I’m not a bad boyfriend!” Rei protests, rolling over to crush Ritsu beneath
him. “But Kaoru-kun is a whiny bottom,” he lowly confirms against Ritsu’s ear.
“You should have heard him complaining the first time I put a finger in him. I
mean, now he’s kind of an addict, but if you call him on it, he gets super
flustered. So, so cute.”
 
“I wanna put my fingers in him.” Ritsu grabs for Rei’s hand, running his own
fingertips over his brother’s practiced, graceful musician’s callouses.
“Knowing he’s precious to you...Aniija, it makes me want to do all kinds of
things to him.”
 
“…You need to ask him about that first,” Rei carefully says, firmly stamping
down the strange, possessive flare combined with an awkward amount of interest
that makes his fingers curl against Ritsu’s touch. “And you…you have to be nice
to him, Ritsu. He’s not like I am, he doesn’t like a lot of the things I do.”
 
“But I don’t really care?” Ritsu nibbles against Rei’s shoulder, letting his
fangs score little red tracks in the smooth skin there. “You always like the
stuff I do to you eventually. I bet Kaoru-kun will too. Don’t worry, I’m nice,
I’ll let him put it in me.”
 
Rei rolls him, shoving Ritsu flat onto his back before he even realizes what
he’s doing, one hand on Ritsu’s throat, his eyes flashing. He doesn’t squeeze,
doesn’t even put pressure behind the touch, but his fingers twitch, his breath
hitching in his own throat. “You need to care,” Rei says, hating instantly how
he sounds like he’s about to cry when he says it. “Ritsu—please. You can’t
scare him off, you can’t hurt him, you can’t.”
 
Ritsu stares up at his brother, startled out of his mood, blinking owlishly in
the low light. He inhales deliberately, feeling the pressure on his neck, and
hesitantly nods. This, apparently, means something important to Rei. “O...kay.
Sorry. Can you...let me go? Please?”
 
“Promise me you’re going to be good.”
 
“I...” Ritsu swallows hard. “You won’t be mad if I mess up and do something bad
on accident, will you? Just tell me? You know I have trouble telling.”
 
“I’m not going to be mad if you’re trying, you know that, just so long as you
promise me you are going to try.” Rei’s fingers curl shakily before he forces
himself to withdraw his hand. “I…I don’t want you to touch him if you don’t
care how you do it, Ritsu. That’s how it is.”
 
The toilet flushes, and Kaoru appears in the doorway, still looking a little
green around the gills as he leans on the wall. “You bartering about who can
touch me, Sakuma-san? Man, I give you an inch and you take a mile, right?”
 
“Aniija is real protective of you, Kaoru-kun.” Ritsu’s face is uncertain, not
entirely happy, and soon buried in a pillow. Everything feels sort of awkward,
and he’s abruptly not sure where he fits into this situation.
 
Rei wipes his hands down his face, now too frustrated to bother continuing the
conversation when he isn’t sure how to make the thoughts and concerns in his
own head make sense to anyone else. He flops to the side, shoving his face down
into another pillow, an abrupt, startling mirror to his younger brother. “Yeah.
You two can take turns kicking me, it’s fine.”
 
Kaoru stares at the two of them for a moment, twin lumps on the bed, and
stretches his shoulders out with a yawn. “Okay, more pizza for me. Once you
guys pull your heads out of your asses, I’ll be out there cooking for both of
you.” He turns on his heel and walks back out to the kitchen, pots and pans and
plates clinking together.
 
Remaining still for a few moments longer, Rei slowly, gingerly stretches out a
leg to poke Ritsu with his toes. “I’m not mad,” he quietly tries again, face
still to the pillow. “And I’m not trying to tell you to leave.”
 
“Oh. Okay.” Ritsu’s voice is equally muffled, and he’s an equally immovable
lump. “Life is really hard, Onii-chan. Like, really hard. Doesn’t seem worth it
most of the time. I’m so...tired.”
 
“Mm.” Just as slowly, Rei rolls back over, scooting his way closer to spoon up
behind Ritsu. “I know. That’s why…I’m so protective of Kaoru-kun.” He stuffs
his face into the back of Ritsu’s neck. “He makes me less tired. He’s a good
boy. I want to make sure he’s happy even if I can’t be all the time, so…try to
be sweet around him, okay?” He hesitates, and then adds, helplessly, “And no
drinking from him, not unless I say so. I know I’m being weird about it, I
know.”
 
Ritsu shrugs. “It’s like me with Maa-kun. Except he doesn’t want me anymore, so
probably better. But Maa-kun liked me that way for a good few years, so enjoy
it while it lasts, that’s basically what I’m saying.”
 
“You’re so pessimistic.” Like he’s one to talk—or more correctly, like he
doesn’t believe every word of it. “Maybe I should just propose to Kaoru-kun
already. Then he’s stuck with me, like our parents were with each other.”
 
“You gotta knock him up first. That’s the real rule.”
 
“He’s never gonna let me put it in again. This was my only chance to ruin his
career and life.”
 
“Ah. That’s rough. Hopefully the seed already took, then.”
 
“By the looks of it, probably not. Ah, where’s a hair tie when I need one.
That’ll work as a makeshift ring.”
 
“He’s not gonna marry you. Maa-kun said no, too. Pregnant or not.”
 
“He might. You don’t know. I eat a lot of his pizza, he likes me.”
 
“Sakuma-saaaaaan, it’s getting cold!”
 
“Not enough, sounds like.”
 
“You interrupted me before, you know,” Rei sulkily reminds him, gently pinching
the back of Ritsu’s thigh and rolling swiftly away before he can be kicked in
retaliation. He snatches up his pajama pants, yanking them back up as he hops
up from the futon. “Yes, yes, my dear Kaoru-kun, I’m coming!”
 
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