Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/12540136.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M
  Fandom:
      Original_Work
  Relationship:
      Original_Female_Character/Original_Male_Character, Original_Male
      Character/Original_Male_Character
  Character:
      Original_Characters, Original_Female_Character(s), Original_Male
      Character(s), Original_Child_Character(s)
  Additional Tags:
      Violence, Post-Traumatic_Stress_Disorder_-_PTSD, Post-Apocalypse,
      Torture, Psychological_Torture, Aftermath_of_Torture, Blood_and_Violence,
      Angst_and_Hurt/Comfort, Underage_Drinking, Consensual_Underage_Sex,
      Underage_Kissing, Underage_Drug_Use, Underage_Rape/Non-con, Rape/Non-con
      Elements, Rape_Aftermath, Suicide_Attempt
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-10-28 Updated: 2017-11-25 Chapters: 13/? Words: 18300
****** Everything Unspoken ******
by Usero
Summary
     Humanity had gone to shit hundreds of years ago, Sirin was just
     surprised it took this long to end. He was in the army, a fighter
     pilot. He worked for the government so he knew things weren’t as fine
     as they seemed. He tried to warn the people at his base, he tried to
     tell them that the airborne disease that the government scientists
     created wouldn’t stay in their enemy's countries, they would spread
     to America, but they didn’t listen. So, the world ended and the
     apocalypse started. The only thing that mattered was survival.
***** Chapter 1 *****
Sirin woke with a start, he sat up breathing heavily. He looked around the room
searching for something, anything to show him he was ok. He sighed in relief as
his eyes studied the clock on his wall and remembered that it was only a
nightmare.  Same shit different day.  He thought, as he laid back down, he
remembered something his grandmother used to say “ Someday this pain will be
useful to you and your nightmare will become beautiful.”  he felt a familiar
pang of loneliness in his chest and sighed, every night this happened, him
reliving his year as a hostage, all the things that were done to him, and all
the things he had to do that made him scared of himself. Then he woke up, alone
and broken.
….
When the world went to hell, communications was the first thing to go. The
infrastructure collapsed within ten days. TV was the first medium to go,
falling in just three days. Too many people got to see the virus hit news
anchors and hosts on live TV. The roll TV had played in the spread of mass
hysteria had been unparalleled. It had also been how Garth had first seen the
effects of Pestilent Mozeria, the virus that ended the world. The virus caused
your organs to explode inside your body, animal instinct, an extremely high
fever and irresistible urge to eat any and all things that had a pulse,
including humans. It was highly contagious through physical contact with the
infected’s bodily fluids and once you got sick, you could no longer function as
a human, couldn't talk, couldn't think, all the infected did was eat. So with
no vaccine and no cure an epidemic broke out and soon the hospitals were too
full, the virus was spreading to quickly and soon, the world was over and
everyone was on their own. Luckily for Garth, he was in the army, he was
protected, and he was told to return the the base as soon as the virus was
detected. His teammates Lyla Graham, J.P Rawling, Sirin Moore, and Ava Stall
were also told to return. There were 122 others but Garth didn’t know their
names, let alone them personally. Actually come to think of it he didn’t know
why exactly he had returned, the situation was far from ideal and he probably
could have made it better on his own, but maybe he craved the company? He sat
up and looked up at the clock, 7:00. He rolled out bed and got dressed.
Breakfast would be served soon, even after the world ended they worked hard  to
keep a strict schedule and make everything seem normal. He walked out into the
hallway and smiled as he saw the familiar blonde haired, green eyed boy walk
toward him. “Finally, you're awake” Sirin said, reaching him “Yeah, well we all
don’t get up at 3:00 in the morning for god-knows what reason” Garth shot back.
“Whatever, let’s go get food.” Sirin said rolling his eyes and walking down the
hallway.
….
Sirin looked up to see Garth staring at him, “What?” he asked. Garth looked
away “Nothing, it doesn’t matter.” Sirin looked curious but didn’t say
anything. “O...kay” he said “So is there an actual reason you get up at like
3am everyday or is it just a personal preference” Sirn sighed “Nope I just do
it because…. I have a lot of, lieutenant things to do.” Garth rolled his eyes
“Ya, right, are you almost done I want to leave.” he said gesturing toward
Sirin’s full plate. “Oh ya I’m done” they stood up and took their plates to the
trash. “I have to go see a group on a run” Sirin said turning away from Garth
and walking down the hall. Garth reached out and grabbed his arm “Wait see you
later?” Sirin turned back to look at Garth “Sure, I guess” Garth smiled and let
Sirin leave. Sirin sighed as he walked away.  Jeez, what’s his deal.  He
thought as he walked back to his dorm, he would deal with the run later. Sirin
never wanted to be friends with Garth, actually he wanted the opposite. When
Garth first came to the base there were dozens of people who wanted to be
friends with him, but for some reason he only wanted to be friends with Sirin.
It was mostly a one-sided friendship, with Garth doing all the work. After a
while, Sirin thought he would take the hint and move on to someone else, but he
never did. He kept insisting that they hang out, in the dorms, in the
cafeteria, pretty much anywhere. Them hanging out was really just them sitting
in silence, with Garth occasionally asking him questions. As he approached his
dorm, he saw J.P Rawling leaning on the wall outside his door. “Sirin, just the
man I wanted to see,” he said standing up straight. “Why?” “Let’s go inside, we
can talk” Sirin hesitantly walked past him and opened the door. J.P followed
him inside. “What did you want to talk abo-” Sirin was interrupted by J.P
pushing him to the ground. “Dude what the fuck?” Sirin asked, as he stood back
up. J.P pushed him back and kneeled down next to him, tucking his arms
underneath his back and pulling out a knife. He placed one of his hands on
Sirin’s chest, holding him firmly to the ground. He took the knife and held it
up to Sirin’s throat. Sirin smiled “Do it” he said “I should shouldn’t I?” J.P
said pressing the knife down, leaving a bright red line across his neck. Sirin
nodded “You should but you won’t.” he said confidently. That made J.P push the
knife harder, drawing blood. Suddenly, he picked up the knife. “See I told
you?” Sirin said trying to sit up. J.P pushed him back down, anger bubbling up
as he slashed Sirin’s cheek. “You think you're so smart don’t you?” he said
punching Sirin in the stomach, then face. “I deserve to be in charge” every
word was followed by another blow to the face. Sirin writhed underneath J.P.
“W-Why” Sirin stuttered. J.P laughed and stood up “You’re trash, you know
that?” he kicked Sirin in the stomach and walked out the door. Sirin brought
his knees to his chest, tears streaming down his face. He had to do something,
talk to someone. He sighed as he realized he only knew one person.  Will Garth
even care?  He thought as he walked to Garth’s room. It didn’t matter, he had
to try. He got to Garth’s room and knocked on his door. “Sirin? What happened?”
Sirin stepped into his room and Garth immediately hugged him, Sirin leaned into
him and wrapped his arms around Garth’s waist. “What happened?” Garth asked
again “J.P, came into my room and...just attacked me.”  Why did I come here?
Sirin thought suddenly  Why would Garth care?  Sirin pulled away, “Sorry” he
said wiping away his tears “I should leave.” he turned toward the door but
Garth grabbed his hand. “Why are you here?” He asked quietly “I-...I don’t have
anybody and so I thought that maybe, you could be it.” Garth walked toward him
until his back was pressed against the door. Then he leaned down and pressed
his lips against Sirin’s.”Of course,” he said “You’ll always have me.”   
….
Sirin shivered as the memories came back and reminded him of his first kiss
with Garth. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he thought about the possibility of
never having that again. He heard the sound of boots clicking on the outside
of, wherever he was. They stopped outside his cell and a deep voice said, “This
is the one?” “Yep, bring him to the boss” another voice said.  It’s ok, be
strong you’ve been through worse.  He told himself while he heard the men
unlocking the cell he was in. As he was dragged out, he heard a laugh all to
familiar.
***** Chapter 2 *****
He turned around to see his old teammate, J.P Rawling laugh. They were standing
in the Captain's office, debriefing after their latest assignment. “Why are you
laughing, Rawling?” the Captain shouted “You’re really going to appoint him?”
he yelled gesturing toward Sirin. Sirin opened his mouth to argue but was
interrupted by the phone on Captain Rivalli’s desk ringing. She picked it up
“Hello? Yep we are prepared,” her face dropped and she cleared her throat, “Ok.
Yes. I’ll tell them. Goodbye.” she hung up the phone and looked at J.P “Yes I
am really appointing him and if you have an issue you can leave.” she turned to
Sirin, “Lieutenant Moore, we have a meeting to go to.” she stood up “Um, ok”
Sirin followed her out the door. After the meeting, he walked back to his room
and found Garth waiting for him, “Hey,” Garth said “Hi” Sirin answered and
walked past him to unlock his room, “You want to go somewhere and hang out?”
Garth asked hopefully. Sirin really didn’t but he knew Garth wouldn’t go away
until he said yes “No, but do you want to come in? We can just hang out in my
room” Garth smiled and followed him inside. Sirin sat down on his bed, Garth
hovering awkwardly by the door until he finally relaxed and sat down “So, uh,
what did you do today?” Garth asked “I got appointed to Lieutenant, so I guess
that’s cool” he said “Are you kidding? That’s  amazing, congratulations.”  Why
did I say anything.  He nodded his thanks, sighing. Garth stayed a little
longer then looked up at the clock. “Oh sorry I have to go, I am working in the
infirmary. See you later.” he stood up and walked to the door.
….
Garth closed the door and walked to the infirmary. He was organizing the
medicine cabinet and taking inventory when a guy walked in, “Hey, so you're the
doctor today?” “Uh, yep.” Garth turned around to see his old friend Clay
Walker. They had been friends when Garth first got to the base but Clay ditched
him for some girl. “What do you need?” Clay sat down on the table “I was just
wondering if you had any prenatal vitamins” “Um, I don’t think so, I don’t
really know what that is.” he checked the cupboard, “Nope, but I’ll put it on
the list.” Clay nodded and walked out. As Garth organized the infirmary, his
mind wandered until he eventually he ended up thinking about Sirin.  Should I
leave him alone like he wants?  He thought as he started cleaning the floors,
I just want him to be ok.
….
Garth smiled at the memory, nothing had changed except now he  needed  Sirin to
be ok. A woman knocked on his door and entered his, new house? “Hello Garth how
are you doing?” she asked “Well about as good as a captive can get.” he said
back “You are not a captive Garth.” Garth raised his eyebrows “Then why can’t I
leave?” the woman smiled, “We are hoping that you will not want to leave.” “I
do want to leave, I don’t know anybody here and you guys kidnapped me and
Sirin.”  Sirin  “Where is he?” Garth asked “Where is who” the woman asked.
Garth rolled his eyes “Sirin, the man I was with.” “Oh, our leader has given us
special instructions for that man.” “O...kay  well can I see him?” “Ah, of
course not.” she stood up and walked to the door “What, why?” she opened the
door and stepped out “I will send someone with your food rations soon.” she
said, closing the door behind her.  What the hell?!  Garth looked out the
window and searched for any signs of life or happy people, anything to prove to
him that his gut was wrong, that this was a good place, but he didn’t find
anything.  After about an hour, there was a knock on the front door and a young
man opened it. “Hi” he said when he saw Garth, who nodded in response. “I
brought your food rations.” he said handing Garth a piece of paper. “Oh, paper,
my favorite.” Garth said sarcastically. The man smiled, “That’s your ration
ticket, you have to go to the square and get food just like everyone else. I
can show you where it is.” “Ok, thanks um-” “Ben .” he answered “Thanks, Ben.”
“So how did you find this place?” Ben asked as they walked to the square “Oh
you know the normal way, my teammate and I were kidnapped.” Ben looked at the
ground  “Me too” he said quietly. They got their place in line and eventually
got food. As they walked back to Garth’s house some guys came up and started
talking to Ben in Japanese. Garth thought nothing of it until one of the guys
started yelling and pushed him the ground. “Hey!” Garth stepped in, and the
others pushed him down too. The biggest one, presumably the leader, kicked Ben
in the stomach and he walked off, Garth shivered as he thought of Sirin and
J.P. He got up and offered a hand to Ben. “You ok man?” Ben nodded “Yeah,
happens everyday,” “Everyday!? Wait, if you were kidnapped then how come you
get to roam free?” “I became a citizen.” “Oh, then how come they beat you up
everyday?” “To show dominance? I don’t know can we go back to your house?” “Ya,
sure” the minute they entered Garth’s house and shut the door, he started
asking more questions, “So then why do you stay here?” “I can’t leave, once you
are chosen to be in the community you have to stay or they’ll….kill you.” Garth
shuddered and started thinking of a way, any way that he could escape.  I could
probably make it out but I have no idea where Sirin is, I can’t just leave him.
What if he already left and I am here alone? What if he tried to leave and got
caught and they killed him?  He was worrying so much that he didn't realize
that Ben was watching him anxiously. “You're going to try and escape huh?” Ben
said after a while of watching Garth. Garth nodded, “Can I come?” Garth looked
at him warily. “Maybe”
***** Chapter 3 *****
“What do you know about the recon mission?” The man asked. He pulled out his
blade and sharpened it. “Nothing, I don’t know anything about it” Sirin said,
his voice shaky. The man snorted “Of course you do, you’re part of it, we would
have your plane and all of the information on it, but you blew it up right
before we captured you.” the man snorted, “Biggest mistake of your life.” he
put the knife to the side and tightened his hand and foot restraints. Then he
picked up the knife again and cut into Sirin’s stomach. Sirin screamed and the
man smiled and continued asking him questions. Every time Sirin didn’t answer a
question or insulted the man he earned another cut. This continued on until his
chest was full of cuts and blood was pouring down his body, he still wouldn’t
tell the man anything.
….
Blue, your favorite color is blue he told himself don’t remember, don’t forget.
It's happening again but you can do this don’t forget. “It’s your fault.” J.P
said as he tightened the last restraint. “And now, you're going to pay”
….
Garth walked into Sirin’s room, he was still asleep and Garth kneeled down
beside the bed and kissed him. Sirin opened his eyes and smiled “Hi, wait what
time is it?” “2:30, I know you need to sleep but, we are leaving for the run in
ten minutes, the other guys are already waiting outside.” Sirin scooted over in
his bed and patted for Garth to lay down. Garth laid next to him and Sirin
wrapped his arms around Garth’s middle, “We really have to go,” Garth said
after about five minutes of them laying like that. “Ya, I know” he reluctantly
got up, grabbed his stuff, and went outside to meet the other guys.
….
“What,” Sirin took a deep breath “What is my fault” “Everything, the fact that
Ava is dead, the fact that Lyla left me, the fact that I didn’t get lieutenant,
it's your fault.” J.P took out a pack of matches and lit one, Sirin braced
himself as J.P pushed it into his skin. Come on you can do this he thought
you’ve been through worse. Sirin, that’s my name, Sirin Ito Moore. J.P
continued lighting the matches and burning him until the pack was gone. Then he
pulled out his knife and started slashing his arms, then stomach, then legs.
Sirin cried out in pain and J.P’s laugh was the last thing he heard, right
before he blacked out.
….
They had split up into groups and started on their run. Sirn and Garth had
already found half the stuff on the list after the first three stops and had
set up camp by an old railroad. Garth sat beside Sirin “Let’s talk” he said
grabbing Sirin’s hand “Ok what do you want to talk about?” Garth shrugged but
his voice got a serious tone “We could talk about when you were a hostage.” he
knew it was risky and he probably wouldn’t talk about it, but he wanted to try.
He felt Sirin stiffen “Why?” “Maybe it could help you” “I don’t really remember
it, I went through so much trauma I lost my memory.” “You don’t remember
anything?” “I have nightmares that my subconscious remembers” he answered
quietly “How often?” “Every time I go to sleep.” “That’s why you don’t” Sirin
nodded, and stared at the ground “I’m sorry shouldn’t have brought it up” He
nodded again then jumped as the butt of a gun hit the back of his head. That’s
the last thing Garth remembered before his world went black.
….
Garth woke suddenly as his door was broken down, and two huge guys stormed in,
led by Ben. “Ben? What’s going on?” “Sorry Garth but I couldn’t let you just
try to escape” “What? I trusted you I can’t believe this” he shouted “Believe
it Garth, you could’ve had a good life here but you screwed it up, and for
what, your friend? Big mistake,” he nodded to the guys “Take him” the guys
grabbed Garth and dragged him out outside and toward a plain field. Are they
going to shoot me? Garth kept thinking. They dragged him for about thirty more
minutes and they eventually arrived at a huge industrial building the men
dragged him inside and down a long hallway full of different rooms. They threw
him in one of the rooms. This is a cell, great. He thought as he sat down in
one corner of the cell.
….
When Sirin woke up he was back in his cell. He couldn’t move and every breath
was followed by excruciating pain. My name is Sirin Ito Moore, my favorite
color is blue. He repeated in his head over and over, so that he didn’t forget,
didn’t lose everything again. Suddenly he heard footsteps come down the hallway
and stop at his cell. No please not again. He silently pleaded, he couldn’t
even speak. He heard more footsteps come down the hallway and stop at his door
as well. He closed his eyes and waited. The door opened and several people
walked in. J.P laughed when he didn’t turn his head to look at them, “Looks
like that nerve paralyzer I gave you is working” he turned to one of the men,
“Sit him up” Sirin felt a man grab him and roughly throw his back up against
the wall. He opened his eyes, not that it helped, the room was pitch black and
the only figure he could make out was J.P. “Turn on the light” he shouted.
Sirin blinked as his eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness. He looked around
the room and saw J.P and three huge guys, two of which were holding up an
unconscious man by his arms. “Who is that?” he asked his voice barely audible.
J.P stepped closer to Sirin, “Here’s the next part of your torture, enjoy.” the
men dropped the guy who was unconscious and all four of them walked out,
leaving the light on. Inch by inch Sirin’s body slid back down, until he was
flat on the floor again. He sighed, here’s the next part of your torture, what
could torture me more than not being able to move with pain searing through my
body, and open cuts everywhere, trying not to forget myself and my
life...again. He wished he could at least turn his head so he could see who the
man was, he could maybe muster up the strength, but he was too scared, to
scared to scream out for help, to scared to sleep, to scared to do anything but
breathe and repeat, My name is Sirin Ito Moore, my favorite color is blue.
After about six hundred more times, he heard the man across the room stir. A
little at first, then he sat up and gasped. Sirin could just barely see out of
the corner of his eye. He sat still for a moment, then looked around. His eyes
landed on Sirin and he got up and slowly walked over. “Holy shit,” the man
grabbed him as soon as he saw his face and Sirin remembered, it was Garth.
***** Chapter 4 *****
Garth sat down next to Sirin and pulled him into his lap. Sirin winced at every
movement and touch. “I’m sorry” he said “Can you speak?” “Yeah” Sirin
whispered. Garth started crying. “Stop, what’s wrong” Garth looked over his
body, the burns, the cuts, and got his tears to slow down. He stayed silent for
a long time “Who is doing this to you?” Sirin closed his eyes “J.P” Garth
stiffened “What?” he shouted. Sirin jumped “Sorry, sorry” Garth brought his
hand up to Sirin’s face, the only part of his body that wasn’t cut and
bleeding. Sirin breathed in, “Can I sleep please?” he whispered. Garth nodded,
“Of course.” he kissed Sirin’s cheek and let him fall asleep.
….
Sirin winced as he felt Garth move underneath him. “Sorry” “It’s fine” “Can you
move yet?” Sirin tried to wiggle his fingers “No, I can’t.” “Do you want to go
back to sleep?” “No, I can’t” Sirin said again. Garth didn’t say anything for a
long time “We are gonna get out of here, you're going to be ok” “No he’s not,
and neither are you.” J.P walked into the cell. He turned to them, “I did not
expect this to happen.” He gestured towards Garth, who was holding Sirin
protectively. “Hell, the only reason I brought him in here was so that as you
lost your memory you would have a constant reminder of what you would forget”
J.P smiled “But now I have so much more option.” He nodded toward the door and
a huge guy came in, “Blake, bring Sirin down to the basement in five, I’ll be
waiting.” the man nodded and J.P left the room. Blake walked over to them, bent
down and picked Sirin up, half tearing him from Garth’s arms. Sirin groaned as
Blake threw him over his shoulder and carried him out.  No, I can’t do this
again, please.  He thought as Blake carried him down a large set of stairs, his
shoulder digging into Sirin’s stomach every time he took a step. They got to
the basement and J.P was waiting for him just like he said. Blake and J.P
strapped him to a table then Blake went back upstairs. “So you and Garth huh?
How the fuck did that happen?” J.P asked as he sat down. Sirin didn’t answer.
“Whatever, I don’t really care. It really benefits me though, I have so many
new ideas, but for tonight,” J.P walked to the foot of the stairs and yelled up
“Bring him down,” Blake came back down, this time carrying Garth. “Put him in
that chair.” J.P pointed Blake did and strapped his wrists to the chair arms.
“Why am I here?” Garth asked “It will make it more painful” J.P said smiling
“Let’s get started shall we?” he walked into a back room and Blake followed.
They came out a minute later, carrying a picana and a bucket of water. “Let’s
do this” he nodded to Blake, who threw the bucket of water on Sirin. “Please,
don’t” Sirin begged “Begging is pitiful” J.P turned on the picana and shoved it
into Sirin’s side, resulting in a scream from both him and Garth. J.P started
laughing “Exactly what I wanted” he continued shocking him, turning up the
voltage until Sirin passed out from the pain.
….
Garth and Sirin were returned to their cell, Sirin was still unconscious. Garth
laid him down and then started pacing.  Don’t fall asleep  he told himself
this next part is important.  He paced for half an hour more and then heard the
cell door open. “Finally,  you're here, what happened to ‘I’ll be there as soon
as I can.’?” “I did come as soon as I could” Ben said defensively, “The plan
worked?” Garth sighed “Yes, the plan worked” “What’s wrong?” Garth sighed again
“Nothing, we need to leave as soon as possible.” “Ya, ok, right,” he pulled out
a map and spread it out on the floor. Garth sat next to him and they worked out
their plan of escape. “You think this is going to work?” Ben asked after they
were done with all the plans “Yeah, it has to” “So you found your friend?”
Garth smiled softly “Yeah I found him” As if he could hear them, Sirin stirred
and rolled over. “So, we should probably get some sleep.” Garth suggested. Ben
stood up and walked to the door “Yeah sounds good, see you tomorrow.” he
pressed his ear up against the door and listened for footsteps in the hallway,
when he didn’t hear anything he opened the door and stepped out turning to wave
to Garth before he closed the door behind him. Garth got up and walked over to
Sirin, who opened his eyes and smiled. “Why are you smiling?” “Who’s your
little friend?” he asked groaning as he sat up. “Hey you can move again,” Garth
said sitting down next to him, “Yeah, but seriously who was that?” “Oh, that’s
just Ben, he’s going to help us escape.” “What’s the plan? And how did he even
get in here?” “I don’t really know how he got in here, he’s tiny and people
don’t notice him I guess, and tomorrow there is going to be a big gathering in
the square so while J.P and everyone else are at the gathering, Ben will come
and unlock our cell so we can escape.” “Where will we go?” Garth shrugged
“Where ever you want, I don’t care.” Sirin rested his head on Garth’s shoulder
“Thanks Garth” “Let’s try to sleep ok?” “Ok” Garth laid down and moved Sirin
next to him. Sirin winced, “Sorry,” “It’s fine.” Sirin answered. Garth pulled
Sirin to him and rubbed his back until he fell asleep.
….
Ben waved to Garth and closed the door behind him. He looked down both sides of
the hallway and ran down the hall and out the door, making sure to not to be
too loud. Once he was outside, he ran back to the community and into Garth’s
house, where he had been staying. He grabbed his things and packed them into a
bag. Then in another bag, he packed medication, bandages, water, and food. Then
he grabbed three sleeping bags, matches, and a tent and put them by the door.
It wasn’t much but, they could probably find some more supplies after they got
out.  Where will we go?  He thought as he put the bags by the door  They will
probably just want to back to where ever they came from and will ditch me in
the woods or something. Wouldn't be the first time I was left alone.  Ben
grabbed an empty bag and left Garth’s house and snuck to the main building of
the community, where J.P lived. The house was all quiet  J.P must be at the
compound.  He snuck around the corner into the armory. He loaded the bag with
guns and ammo, then snuck back to Garth’s house.
….
“And…..Ava you will be going with J.P.” Sirin finished “Are you guys all ready
to go, you have the list and map?” J.P rolled his eyes “Yes dad, we are ready
and have everything.” “Ok, well good luck.” “Why do you hate him so much?” Ava
asked when they had walked far enough to be out of earshot. “You’re my best
friend you should know why I hate him.” “I do, it’s because
of…..sergeant...something.” “No, he got lieutenant over me because I made one
mistake and he’s the reason Lyla broke up with me.” “So, this whole this is
over a girl.” “What whole thing?” “You, like kicking his ass and yelling at him
and being a dick, it's all because of Lyla?” “Yeah and the lieutenant thing.”
they continued walking in silence until J.P saw saw huge building in the
distance. “Hey let’s go check it out.” Ava nodded.
….
Garth woke up to the sound of the cell door opening, it was J.P. He looked at
him and smiled, “Good morning,”  Garth didn’t answer and leaned down to wake up
Sirin “No,no let him sleep, I’m here for you.” he nodded toward the door,
“Let's talk.” “Why?” J.P pulled out a knife “You can come with me, or I can
kill you here and Sirin can wake up to your dead body.” Garth sighed and got
up. He walked down the hall with J.P. “So what did you want to talk about.” J.P
shrugged, “I want you to see that I’m not a bad guy.” Garth felt anger rise in
his chest “What?” “I’m not a bad guy” J.P repeated. Garth grabbed him by his
shirt and shoved him up against the wall, “You call torturing the person I love
in front of me ‘not bad’, you call cutting someone until there is blood all
over their body ‘not bad’, you call sticking an electric cattle prod into
someone’s side and shocking them until they pass out ‘not bad’?” J.P smiled and
continued let Garth hold him up against the wall. “You know how I got this
place Garth? I was on a run with Ava, and we saw this place, we hiked to it,
and saw a community of like minded people, they had a leader, they were fine,
but I could do better. So, I returned to the base and lived normally while
working out my plan to attack and kill the leader. Once I did it, I took over,
but while we were still at the base, Sirin sent me and Ava out on a run and she
was attacked by a sick person and she got sick and now she’s dead. That is why
I kidnapped you because Sirin is the one who killed Ava and he deserves to
pay.” Garth tightened his grip on J.P’s shirt “Look I’m sorry your girlfriend
died, but you don’t get to kidnap and torture him because you need someone to
blame, you’re the one who killed Ava, you didn’t protect her and you have to
live with that, so you can blame Sirin or me or whoever the hell you want, but
the bottom line is, this is your fault.” J.P’s face turned red and he swung at
Garth, knocking him to the floor. J.P dropped to the floor as well and climbed
on top of him, straddling his waist. He pulled out his knife, and held it
against Garth’s chest “How do you feel about dying right here, right now?”
Garth “Do what you want” J.P reached over and pulled something off the floor.
“Hey, Blake I have a situation I need you to take care of.” he said into the
walkie-talkie. Garth moved his arms and tried to get J.P off him but J.P
grabbed his hands. “Why do you need Blake to help you, you could just push me
back into the cell?” J.P smiled darkly “I don’t need you back in the cell.”
Blake walked into the hallway a few minutes later and looked at them
quizzically “Am I interrupting something?” J.P got off of Garth “Take him to
the basement.” J.P walked back into their cell and Blake took Garth to the
basement. They just stood there at the bottom of the stairs and after a few
minutes they heard J.P shout something, followed by punching and groaning.
Garth tried to run upstairs before anything got to bad, but Blake stopped him.
After about ten more minutes of listening, J.P walked downstairs, his knuckles
torn and red. Blake took Garth back to the cell and locked them in. Garth ran
over to Sirin, who was lying on the floor unconscious. His cuts were bleeding
again and his body and face were already bruising. Garth sat down and held
Sirin, hoping that somehow, he would be okay.
***** Chapter 5 *****
Sirin opened his eyes, “We need to leave, I can’t do this anymore.” “I know I’m
so sorry, this is all my fault” “How?” Garth sighed “This morning J.P told me
to walk with him so we went out into the hallway and he told me about how he
found this place and how he blamed you for Ava’s death and so I shoved him
against the wall and told him that it was his fault, but I was just trying to
defend you, I didn’t know he was gonna do this.” Sirin nodded  “When is Ben
coming?” “Soon I think” “How did you meet him again?” “He brought me food
ration tickets and then we got to talking, he got beat up and then we came up
with a plan to get me in here so then I could get you and we could escape.
That’s why he came to see me last night.” “So, why is he so eager to help us?”
 Garth shrugged “It was kinda his idea, I don’t think he has anybody and the
people here are awful. So when he figured out that I was going to try to
escape, he asked if he could come to.” “So now he’s going to be with us?”
“Yeah.” Sirin didn't say anything, he just leaned in and rested his head
against Garth’s chest. “Hey you ok?” Sirin shook his head and wrapped his arms
around Garth. Garth hugged him back “J.P you ready to go?” said a voice in the
hall. Garth leaned down to whisper in Sirin’s ear “Ben will be here soon, are
you ready?” “Yeah” he whispered back “Yeah” they heard J.P shout followed by
footsteps down the hall. Garth sighed in relief as the door to the compound
slammed shut. He pulled Sirin away from him, even in in the dark Garth could
see the tears in his eyes. “Hey, your going to be alright, we are going to be
alright.” Sirin didn’t say anything and the cell door opened. Ben walked in
carrying several bags, he tossed three to Garth, who dropped them and then
helped Sirin stand up.  “You ready man?” Ben asked “Yep,” Garth replied. “So
how do we know we can trust you?” Sirin asked “Well, I helped Garth get in
here, and I’m here now helping you escape” “This could be a trap” Sirin’s voice
sounded angry “It’s fine, we can trust him” Garth interrupted “Where do we go
from here?”  “Oh, right, we can’t leave through the front entrance, so we have
to go down into the basement, out the door and then up the back stairs, then we
go across the field, into the woods and we’re free.” Garth nodded and looked at
Sirin, he was staring at the ground. Garth touched his shoulder, “Let’s go”
“Yeah, right” he answered walking to the door.
….
“Come on,” Ben whispered as they ran across the field and into the woods. They
had made it out. His plan had worked, now all they had to do was find somewhere
safe to live. Ben stopped walking after they made it into a clearing in the
woods “So, where do you guys want to go now?” he asked turning to look at
Garth. Instead of answering, Garth walked over and hugged him, “Thank you so
much Ben.” “Thank you, if you hadn’t had come, I would never had the courage to
escape.” Garth pulled away and smiled, then turned and looked at Sirin who was
lurking awkwardly in the shadows. “Yeah, uh thanks.” Ben nodded “So do you want
to set up here?” “Sure” Garth answered Ben gave them each a sleeping bag, then
went to start a fire. Sirin grabbed the rest of the supplies and walked deeper
into the woods. “Hey where are you going?” “If there are animals and we leave
the food by us, they will come into our camp, so I will go and tie it to a
tree. Don’t start a fire, that will attract animals to and if J.P comes looking
for us they will see the fire and attack us in our sleep.” Ben nodded and put
down the matches,  Wow he sure knows a lot about this stuff.  He grabbed the
tent and Garth helped him set it up. “What’s your friend’s name?” Ben asked
after Sirin was out of earshot “Sirin” “Sirin,” Ben repeated ”I don’t think he
likes me.” “What? Of course he likes you.” Garth lied “Yeah right.” Ben stayed
silent for a while. “So, the tent is pretty small, it was the only one I could
carry, with all of this other stuff, but you can have it if you want.” Garth
shook his head “It’s cool, we can share.” he said as Sirin came back into camp.
He nodded to them then sat down with his back against a tree. “Are you going to
go to sleep?” Ben asked “I’ll keep watch” “Are you sure because-.” “Yes, it’s
fine” “See he doesn’t like me” he mouthed to Garth “Yes he does.” Garth mouthed
back, then he turned to Sirin,“Come on let’s take a walk.”
***** Chapter 6 *****
Garth and Sirin walked away from Ben and the camp “This isn’t about Ben is it?”
Garth asked after a while “No, it’s just,” Sirin sighed “I don’t know if I can
ever be ok again” “What do you mean?” Sirin stopped walking “Before this,
before us, I was in a really bad place, I couldn't eat or sleep and I didn’t
care about anything anymore. Then this happened” he gestured in between them
“and I was better, I mean I still had anxiety and PTSD, but most of the time it
wasn’t that bad, and when it was, you were there, but now I have even more to
remember and I don’t want to put you through it so....” his voice trailed off
and he looked at the ground. Garth slowly ran his fingertips up the younger
man's arm, finally reaching his face caressing his jaw. "God, I love you." It
came out before he could stop it, and Garth couldn't help but cringe a little,
but then Sirin was devouring his mouth and he can't think straight anymore.
"Say it again," Sirin pulled away to look Garth in the eyes."I love you," Garth
whispered, shaking. "I did before all of this." Sirin moaned and hid his face
in Garth's neck. "God, I tried so hard not to, but it was fucking hopeless from
the start. I love you, Garth. I love you more than I can say."
….
“Remember to be nicer to Ben, please” Garth reminded him as they walked back to
camp “I’ll be nice but I’m not sleeping in a tent with him and I’m not telling
him about my…..issues.” “It’s not your fault, you didn’t choose to have PTSD,
but remember that you don’t have to do it by yourself, I’m always here.” Sirin
smiled softly, “I know.” they walked back into camp and Sirin made his way over
to Ben “Um, I’m...I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier.” Ben smiled “Thanks,
that means a lot” Sirin went back to sitting against the tree and Garth and Ben
went into the tent. “You told him to be nice and made him apologize didn’t
you?” Ben whispered “No, I told you he likes you.” “I’m sorry to say this
because he’s like your best friend or whatever.” Garth nodded. They had agreed
not to tell Ben about their relationship unless he asked. “But he’s not the
type of guy to apologize and he’s definitely not the type of guy to go out of
his way to be nice.” Garth shrugged, “I don’t know what to tell you man, maybe
you read him wrong.” Ben didn’t say anything, he just layed down and closed his
eyes. “Thanks again for helping us escape” “No problem.” he mumbled sleepily
….
Sirin paced as he heard Ben and Garth whispering in the tent and he couldn’t
help but wonder what they were talking about. He sighed and sat back down as
everything went quiet. He grabbed a flashlight and gun from one of the bags
that Ben brought and started walking away from camp. He walked at least four
miles from camp and circled back. As he approached camp again, he saw Garth
outside, waiting for him. He turned around and smiled when he heard Sirin
approach, “Hey, I was wondering when you would be back.” he said, walking over
to him. “Sorry I just went for a walk.” Garth wrapped his arms around Sirin’s
waist and furrowed his brow, “You ok?” he asked gently, like if he spoke to
loud or harshly he would break him. Sirin shook his head and leaned towards
him. Garth pulled him into his chest and hugged him tightly. Ask him to tell
you. Garth told himself. Ask him to tell you what’s wrong, ask him to tell you
all of his secrets, just ask him to tell you everything. “Sirin…can I kiss
you?” because that was something he should ask for, because he would not push
for anything Sirin did not want to give him, but wanted to be clear about how
he felt in that moment. He stepped back and looked Garth in the eyes. Sirin’s
weight shifted and blush spread from his cheeks to cover most of his face.
Garth couldn’t help the smile spreading over his own face when Sirin’s tongue
darted out to unconsciously wet his lips. Tugging on his arm, Sirin pulled him
closer, and Garth released a breathy chuckle, feeling drunk. The trees shifted
and Garth leaned down. Garth slid an arm around his waist and pressed closer,
feeling Sirin’s lips moving tentatively, softly, against his. He was sure he
could feel his heart swelling in his chest and he smiled gently.“You ok?” he
whispered again. Sirin’s hand came up to rest against the side of his face and
he nodded, already leaning up to kiss him again, this time with a bit more
certainty. When they finally pulled apart they were both breathing hard, the
blush had receded from Sirin’s face. Garth pressed a kiss to his shoulder, then
to the side of his neck, smiling when it earned him a huff of laughter. He
pressed a kiss to his jaw, then to his cheek and then to his smiling lips. When
Garth looked back at him, he was smiling again. Garth knew right then and there
that he was well and truly done for. “I love you, Sir,” he said plainly,
because he needed to, because he wanted to make sure that Sirin knew it. “I
have…for ages and, uh…I just wanted to tell you...again. You don’t have to feel
obligated to say it back,” he rushed to reassure, “I mean I know you might
not…be…in the same place especially with this” he gestured to Sirin’s body,
which was cut and horribly bruised “Garth,” Sirin firmly interrupted him. “Like
I said, I’ve loved you for a very long time,” he told him bluntly. But then his
eyes dropped, his confidence suddenly slipping away. “I’m sorry that I’ve
been…that I can’t seem to get better all the way.” Sirin might have kept going,
if Garth hadn’t started to frantically shake his head and crowd closer,
reaching down to cup his face in his hands.“Sirin – Sirin, god…no.” he tilted
his chin up, waited till he looked Garth in the eyes. “Sir, there is nothing
wrong with you. You are perfect just the way you are.” He took Sirin’s hands in
his and kissed them, “You are strong and kind and amazing and brilliant and I
don’t want you to doubt that ever.” he looked like he very much did doubt it
and Garth’s heart throbbed painfully in his chest. Was all this too much for
him to believe right now? He stared into Sirin’s eyes, trying to communicate
things he couldn’t say with words. Garth let his thumb brush a tear off Sirin
cheekbone and tried to read everything he could see on his face. “You believe
me, right?” he asked, sounding desperate even to himself, but this – this he
needed Sirin to understand now. “Sir, please, tell me you understand how much I
love you. Please, tell me you understand how kind and beautiful your heart is.
Tell me you understand that you’re good and whole just as you are.” He could
have kept going, had at least a hundred more words to describe how great he
was, but Sirin was starting to look overwhelmed, like he couldn’t even process
such blatant praise being directed at him, and Garth had to tell himself to
calm the hell down. I have time, he told himself, Even if he doesn’t know it
now, there’s no rush. I have time. We have time. Finally. “Garth…” Sirin
trailed off, blinked and tried again. “Garth…” ,definitely overwhelmed. Garth
shook his head gently, leaning in to press another kiss to his lips and when he
felt Sirin melt into him, he could breathe again. When he pulled away, Sirin
stared up at him like he could see the stars in his eyes. Both of them jumped
when they heard a throat clear behind them. Sirin quickly turned around and
pulled the gun from his belt and pointed it at the man, who raised his hands in
surrender. “H-Hey I don’t mean any harm.” he said slowly walking towards them.
“Stop walking.” Sirin said, when the man did Sirin gestured towards the knife
and gun that were strapped to his sides and held out his free hand, “Give them
to me” “I-I can’t” “If you don’t mean any harm then you won’t have any issue
giving us your weapons now will you?” the man hesitated again and Sirin took
another step closer, “Or I can kill you?” Garth reached out and touched his
shoulder, “Calm down” Sirin nodded his head toward Garth “Weapons, now.” the
man sighed and handed them to Garth “Sit down” he sat down on the ground “Why
are you here?” “Well, my name is Rhett.” he held out his hand to Sirin “Ok
Rhett why are you here?” he sighed and dropped his hand “Um, I saw you guys
when you ran into the woods after leaving that compound, and so I followed you
guys and saw you putting up a camp and surviving, and I thought you guys would
be perfect to be in my community.” “Your community?” Garth asked. Rhett nodded,
“Yep, I have a community a couple miles away, we have about ninety-four people
living in it, but we are always looking for new members and as long as you will
contribute to the community, you are welcome.” “No,” Sirin said finally. Garth
grabbed his arm and pulled him away from Rhett, “What do you mean, no?” “What
if this isn’t real, what if it is a trap and they just want to torture and eat
us or something?” Garth smiled “Look I know you have trust issues, but nobody
is going to eat us.” “It’s not funny Garth, what if this actually happens.”
“It’s not going to happen ok?” “Whatever, I don’t want to go.” “Ben needs a
safe place where he can grow up, more importantly, you need a place where you
can heal and get better.” Sirin sighed “You really like this kid, don’t you?”
Garth smiled “He’s a good person, just give him a chance, I mean you don’t
really have a choice, he’s family now,” Sirin sighed and rolled his eyes.
Family, he hated that word, but nodded and turned to leave, “Wait, I’ll talk to
Rhett about his community, you get some sleep ok?” Sirin shook his head “No I
can-” “Just, please stop being so stubborn and go to sleep.” Sirin rolled his
eyes “Yeah, fine.” he walked to the tent. Garth could hear him move the
sleeping bag to the other side to be as far from Ben as possible. He walked
back to Rhett and sat down. “So, this community of yours…..” Garth trailed off
“We have roughly ninety- four people, like I said, but our leader is always
looking for more people to rescue and you guys would be a great addition.”
“Yeah, see you keep saying that but you haven’t told us anything about your
community.” “Well, we are a farming community, we have food, medicine,
weapons.” “Why do you guys want to bring more people in? Especially people you
don’t know?” “Our leader wants us to find as many people as we can so that we
can…..” he trailed off “Anyways, I have been following you guys and listening
and watching, you’re good people.” “So that’s all we have to do, just show up?”
Rhett laughed, “Of course not, if you come back with me our leader will meet
with you, you will be interviewed and given and physical and psychological
evaluation, and if everything checks out, we’ll welcome you. You’ll get a place
to live, food rations, you’ll be a citizen.” “Why all of the tests?” Rhett
hesitated, “We just want to make sure that um, the people we let in are, you
know healthy.” Um...okay. Garth thought but he didn’t say anything. He looked
at his watch, 1:00. “Ok, come on.” he stood up and brought Rhett to a tree and
tied him to it “Sorry I have to do this, but I don’t fully trust you yet and I
want to go to sleep so, goodnight I guess.” “Uh, really?” “Yep, see you in a
while.” Garth walked away and went inside the tent. “I don’t trust or like that
guy,” Sirin said, sitting up. Garth laid down next to him, “You're supposed to
be asleep.” “Whatever, can’t sleep, but seriously, did you hear how many times
he said um?” “Once?” “Yeah and that’s once too many.” Garth pulled Sirin down
and wrapped an arm around his chest “You need to calm down.” “How am I supposed
to calm down?” he half-yelled “Shhh, you’re gonna wake up Ben.” Sirin sat up,
“I need to go for a walk.” Garth sat up too. “Hey I’m sorry.” “No it’s fine I
just need to calm down, like you said.” Garth wrapped his arms around him again
and kissed his shoulder. “Let me help?” Sirin sighed, and layed back down, “Are
you gonna give Ben a say in if we go or not?” “Of course, he’s a kid, kids have
instincts.” “I’m not a kid.” Ben said rolling over. “Ben, how old are you?”
“Sixteen, and what do I get a say in?” “There’s a guy outside and he wants to
take us to his community I want to go and Sirin doesn’t so I guess you’re the
tie breaker.” Ben sat up “You're going to let me choose?” Garth smiled “Sure,
we’re pretty much a family now” “Really?” Garth smiled again and nodded “Now
let’s get some sleep”
***** Chapter 7 *****
Ben rolled over and closed his eyes, Sleep, sleep. He told himself, but no
matter how hard he tried, his mind kept going back to what Garth had said, all
his life he wanted a family now he finally had one, well kind of, he would
still have to learn more about Garth and Sirin, but as of right now he had a
family. He rolled over again and opened his eyes, he saw Garth and Sirin laying
together. Weird. Ben had noticed them being close before but this was
different. He watched as Garth whispered something to Sirin that made him blush
and grab Garth’s hand, “Hey guys, is everything ok?” Ben asked. Sirin let go of
Garth’s hand and covered his face. “Uh, yeah everything’s fine.” Ben sat up,
“You guys, if we are going to be a family we need to talk to each other.” Garth
sat up as well and looked at Sirin, “He’s right.” he took his hands off his
face and looked up at the ceiling, “Fine, Garth and I are together.” he said
hurriedly. His confession was followed by awkward silence so Ben decided to say
something to “I’ve, um never had a family, before all this, I was in and out of
foster homes and decided to run away, then the apocalypse happened and I was
kidnapped by J.P’s group.” Garth nudged Sirin in the ribs several times, “Yes
Garth, I know.” “You know what?” Sirin looked at Ben “When I was a kid, I got
taken away from my parents and lived in a foster home, then when I turned
eighteen they kicked me out and I joined the army.” “See, you guys are
bonding,” Sirin rolled his eyes “So both of you guys were in the army?” Ben
asked “Yep, and that’s where we met J.P” Sirin stood up, “We might as well have
Ben decide if we are going to go now.” They went outside to find Rhett untied
and laying on the ground next to another man. “Garth, I thought you tied him
up, and who’s this?” Sirin said angrily “I did that guy must have come and
untied him,” Sirin walked to where they were lying and jabbed Rhett in the side
with his boot, “Get up, you and your friend, we need to talk.” They got up,
“Why the fuck is he untied and who are you?” Sirin asked “I’m Erik, and why did
you have him tied to a tree?” “So, that he didn’t kill us” “I untied him, and
we didn’t kill you, you guys are going to have to trust us” Rhett stepped in.
“I thought you guys were supposed to be army, why didn’t you hear me being
untied?” Garth blushed, “We were...sleeping.” he rolled his eyes “Whatever you
made a decision yet?” Gath and Sirin looked at Ben, who nodded excitedly, “Yes,
let’s do it” they packed up and started walking deeper into the woods, with
Garth and Erik in the front. Sirin walked close to Ben and Rhett kept his
distance from all of them, “Why did you decide yes?” Sirin asked after a while.
Ben smiled “Because we need somewhere safe and it’s not like we are forced to
stay, we can just go and check it out, also I really want to see you beat that
Rhett guys ass.” Sirin smiled and punched him playfully in the shoulder. Maybe
this family thing could work out after all.
….
“Hey, so can you tell me a little about your community?” Erik nodded “What do
you want to know” “Rhett said that we will have jobs?” “Yes, you will be tested
and then you will get a job that best suits you, you will get a house, food.
People will accept you.” he said the last part quietly. Garth cleared his
throat, “Is there anything you need to know about us?” “Actually, I don’t know
any of your names.” “Well, I’m Garth,” he turned back to look at Sirin and Ben,
“and that’s Sirin and Ben.” Erik nodded again “So, they’re your...?” “It's
complicated” “Well, should talk about it because that is one of the questions
you’ll have to answer at the community.” “Yeah ok” All of the questions that we
will have to answer seems a little weird. Garth swallowed his doubt, if Ben
wanted to make it work, then they would.
….
“Ugh, are we there yet?” Ben asked for about the fiftieth time, “No, just like
the last time you asked and the time before that, and the time before that, and
the time before that-” “I get it,” Ben waited about twenty seconds before
asking again, “Hey, Sirin?” “What” “Are we there yet?” he asked with a smile,
“Ben I swear to god, if you ask that question one more time, I will turn this
car around” he yelled, smiling back. Everyone stopped walking to look at them,
and Erik shot them a look, Ben waved then flipped him off. “That guy needs to
loosen up.” Sirin chuckled “You’re right, but you probably be at least fake
nice right now.” Ben sighed “Fine dad, way to take away the fun.” they walked
in silence for a bit longer, until Ben asked, “Actually, speaking of dads, are
you mine? I mean, am I your and Garth’s you know, kid now?” “If you want to
be.” Ben thought about it for a minute, “Yeah, sure” Sirin smiled and ruffled
his hair. He looked forward to see Rhett staring at them, Sirin furrowed his
brow “Something I can help you with?” he looked away “No, sorry” “These guys
are weird,” Ben whispered “I know, let’s just hope not everyone in the
community is like this.”
***** Chapter 8 *****
“How much farther?” Garth turned to Erik “Not much. About two miles to our car,
then about a thirty mile drive, You might want to go talk to Ben and Sirin
now.” Garth nodded and walked back to them “Hey guys” Garth said when he got to
them “Hey what’s up?” “Um,” he started, not knowing how to ask what type of
family they were, he knew that Sirin didn’t do relationships or new things very
well, and this was both. “Oh I almost forgot to tell you, Ben’s our son now.”
Garth blinked, taken aback. “Unless, you don’t want me I mean, if you don’t I
can stay somewhere else or something” Ben quickly said after Garth didn’t
respond. Sirin stopped walking and put a hand on his shoulder “Garth, you ok?”
Garth nodded and hugged him “So, everything’s good?” he pulled away and hugged
Ben “Everything’s great.” they continued walking “So how’s Erik? Is he, like a
total drag?” “No, actually he’s a just serious and determined guy, who probably
cares a lot about people without showing it. He’s a lot like you” he said
nudging Sirin “So, a total drag?” Ben quipped “That’s it you’re grounded,”
Sirin said back. Garth laughed, “We are going to walk to their car, then it’s
about a thirty mile drive to the community, before you ask how much longer” he
said looking at Ben.
….
They all piled into Erik’s car, with him driving and Rhett into the passenger
seat. Sirin rested his head on Garth’s shoulder and grabbed his hand as they
started driving. “So, Erik tell us more about your community.” Ben said “Ok,
what do you want to know?” Ben looked a little disappointed that he answered
but didn’t miss a beat. “Will we get a house or something?” He nodded, “After
you are interviewed, our leader will assign you jobs, then you get a house
based on the jobs you have,” “Are there any other people my age?” “Yeah, I
think our leaders daughter and some other kids are about your age.” Ben sat
back in his seat, apparently out of questions, and they rode the rest of the
way in silence. Sirin watched as they approached a large community, guarded by
a large steel wall, the gate opened and Erik unrolled the window “We’re back,
and we brought visitors.” he shouted out the window and the people on the guard
posts started talking and someone ran toward the big house in the center of
town. Rhett, Sirin, Garth, and Ben got out of the car, while Erik drove it over
to a lot and walked back to them. Shortly after an older woman walked toward
them, smiling. “Hello, my name is Diane Montgomery and welcome to Secord. Let’s
begin the interviews immediately, starting with you.” she pointed to Sirin and
motioned for him to follow her. She led him into the house she came from, then
into an office and sat down behind a desk. Sirin sat down in a chair directly
across from her, she pulled out a pad of paper and a pen. “Name?” she asked
“Sirin Moore” she wrote it down then said, “What are you?” ”Um, what do you
mean?” “Are you Mr., Doctor,?” “Lieutenant” “You were in the army?” he nodded
she wrote that down to. “Age?” “Twenty-two” “Are you married?” “No.” “Kids?”
“One”  “How old is your…?” “Son, and he’s sixteen.” “Are you lazy?” “No” she
continued asking him questions then put her pen down and said, “Ok, can I have
a brief life history?” “Why?” “I just want to know more about you, get a feel
for your personality.” “Fine, when I was little, my parents died so i was put
into foster care, the foster home that adopted me was abusive, so when I turned
eighteen I joined the army to get away from them. That’s where I met Garth,
then later we adopted Ben.” “And you and Garth aren’t married?” “No,” “Ok,
thank you, Now is time for the physical part of your interview, follow me.” she
lead him out of the office and into another room. “Ready for the physical part
already?” Rhett asked. Sirin looked at him quizzically, “You're the doctor?”
Rhett smiled and nodded. Diane left the room and Sirin sat on the medical
table, “So what does this physical include?” Rhett stood up, “I just have to
make sure that your body is in good shape and all of your organs are healthy.”
Sirin nodded, so Rhett stood up and washed his hands. He walked over to the
table, “Ok, let's get started.”
….
Diane came back outside and walked up to Garth, “Your turn.” she said and he
followed her into the house, then the office. She sat back down at her desk and
flipped the page on her pad of paper, “Name?” “Garth Taylor”...
….
Ben sat down on the ground, “He has been in there forever.” he said to Garth,
the sky had grown dark and they were still waiting for Sirin the finish, both
of them had already done their interviews and once Sirin finished his, Diane
would decide whether they were in or out. Garth started walking towards the
main house, “They’re not gonna let you in” Ben shouted after him, Garth didn’t
turn around. Ben sighed and layed back in the grass, looking up at the sky.
After a while, he heard footsteps and sat up, propping himself up on his
elbows. He saw Erik walking towards him, followed by a girl. Ben raised his
eyebrows expectantly, “Ben, this is Mary, Diane’s daughter, she’s about your
age so I’ll let you to talk.” he walked over to the wall and climbed on top of
one of the guard posts. Ben laid back down, “So, Mary…” he trailed off “Look, I
know this might be a little awkward so, I am having a party tomorrow night,
come or don’t.” “How are you having a party if we are the only kids here?” “We
aren’t the only kids here, there’s four more. Its at my house you know, the big
one.” Ben nodded and Mary walked away. He heard some of the men on the wall
talking, “How long have you been on shift?” “Fifteen hours, give or take,” “Go
home, Erik.” “I’m fine,” “No, you're not, Diane said go home.” he listened as
Erik sighed and got climbed down off of the guard post.  It’s freezing, where
are Sirin and Garth?  Erik noticed him shivering, and walked over, “You can
come to my house, you know if you’re cold.” “Um, okay. Thanks.” he followed
Erik to a house that was at the back of the community, “Uh, come on in” he said
awkwardly. Ben stepped into his house, “Thanks, it was just really cold out
there, I don’t know how you guys do it standing up on the wall.” he whispered
“You, um, don’t have to whisper, nobody else lives here.” “Oh, you're not
married or anything?” “Nope, it’s just me,” his answer was followed by awkward
silence, Erik cleared his throat, “Do you want something to eat or something
to, um drink?” he asked walking into his kitchen. Ben followed him, “What do
you have?” “Coffee.” “That’s it? All you have in this whole entire house is
coffee?” Erik nodded “Wow I was right about you, you are a total drag.”
Suddenly Erik’s door burst open and Rhett stormed in, “What the fuck Erik?”
“What, what did I do?” Rhett stopped when he saw Ben, “Whatever, we’ll deal
with this later.” he looked at Ben quizzically, then stormed out “What's his
deal?” “I have no idea, but I'm pretty sure after you leave in going to get an
earful” Erik answered, only halfway joking. Ben stayed for a little bit longer,
“I should probably go, they'll be looking for me, so...thanks” Erik nodded and
Ben walked out the front door
***** Chapter 9 *****
Garth saw Ben running toward them. “Hey where were you?” “Uh, I was at Erik’s
house.” “Oh well he’s finally done” “And?” “We’re in, our new house is this
way,” he said pointing. “Then what are we waiting for?” Ben took off running
and entered the house that Garth had pointed to, Garth and Sirin following.
When they came into the house, Ben ran downstairs, “I think we could make it
work here.” he said, hugging Garth “Thanks guys.” he turned to hug Sirin “I’m
good buddy,” he said ruffling Ben’s hair. “Ok, well we should go to sleep,
tomorrow we get jobs and have to meet people, which I know is your favorite
thing to do.” Garth said sarcastically, looking at Sirin “Ok, goodnight” Ben
said going back upstairs. Garth smiled, “Goodnight”
….
“Good morning,” Diane said the next day, they were sitting in her office
waiting to get their jobs. “I trust your accommodations were acceptable?” “Yes,
thank you.” Garth said for them. “Ok, now for jobs, Sirin you will be going on
runs, getting supplies. Garth, I can tell that you are a real people person, so
you will be going out, and finding more people for our community” she turned to
Ben “You know, the rest of the kids your age don’t work, you don't have to.” “I
want to help.” he answered “Ok, since you're still a little bit young, you can
start guarding the wall anytime, Erik is on shift.” Ben sighed, “Why Erik?” “He
is the most experienced and he is in charge of all the guard's rotations and
shifts. He has proven really useful since we found him.” and with that she
dismissed them  to go and start working.
….
Ben walked up to Erik, “Hey, um so I am supposed to be training with you to
guard the walls,” he nodded “Yeah I heard, come on.” He motioned for Ben to
follow him and they climbed the main guard post and sat down, after a few
minutes of silence, Ben said “So, are going to train me or what?” “This is
pretty much it, just watch until the next guy comes to take over your shift, if
you see something threatening,” he pointed to the gun beside him “and if it
doesn't stop alert the guys own there, and they will go tell Diane.” Ben
sighed, realizing that this was going to be a very boring job, with a very
boring person. “I'm not that bad,” Erik said as if he could read his thoughts.
Ben rolled his eyes, “Yeah, sure. What time are you done with your shift?” “10:
30. Why you got a date or something?” Ben ignored his question “10:30? You work
a fourteen hour shift?” “Yeah that's all they will let me.” “All they will let
you? What do you do in your free time?” “I, work at the infirmary, go on runs,
or scout missions.” Ben shook his head.  He works way too much.  “You don't
have to stay the whole time, guarding I mean, you can go anytime you want.” Ben
shook his head “I can do it, but you better start talking because I am not
sitting here for fourteen hours in silence.” Erik smiled “What do you want to
know?”
….
Garth walked up to some guys that were hanging around the gate. “Hey, you must
be Garth.” one of them said, he nodded. “I'm Nathan. I'm the leader of the
scouts, and your new boss. This is Kal and Max. So do you know anybody here?
What's your story?” “Um, no just Erik and Rhett found us in the woods and
brought us here.” “Us? Who's us?” “Oh, Ben” he pointed to where he was on the
wall, laughing and talking with Erik. “and Sirin” he pointed to where he was,
surrounded by the guys in his group, looking uncomfortable and overwhelmed.
He’s hopelessly adorable.  Garth thought as Sirin saw them looking over and
waved. “Wow, he's hot, I mean I don't want to make you uncomfortable or
anything but...wow.” “Um, yeah I think so too” Nathan stopped looking at Sirin
long enough to shoot Garth a confused glance, “You think your brother is hot?”
“He's not my brother.” “Oh…” Nathan still didn't stop looking at Sirin so Garth
shoved his shoulder “Dude” he looked at Garth again “Sorry, should we uh, get
to training?” “Yeah, we should.”
….
“You from around here?” Tripp, the guy in charge of runs, asked. Sirin nodded,
“You grow up here? What were you before? You have a family? Why did your
interview take so long?” Everyone started asking him questions at once. Out of
habit, he looked over to where Garth was, he was looking at him too, so Sirin
waved. Garth smiled and waved back. The other guys followed his eyes and saw
him, “Who is that?” one of them asked.  “Oh, that's Garth,” he answered. “So,
are you going to train me or what?” he said to avoid anymore questions. “Tripp
nodded, “Yeah, let's go,” he motioned his head for Sirin to follow, and they
started walking towards the gate. “Open up the gate.” Tripp yelled up to Erik,
who was arguing with Ben about something. While Erik and was opening the gate,
Sirin shot Ben a knowing glance. Ben rolled his eyes. “Be careful guys,” Erik
said as they walked through. Tripp handed him a gun, “You ready?” “Yep probably
more ready than you.” he said under his breath as he followed them into the
woods.
….
Erik sat back down next Ben, “So, back to my question earlier, you got a date
with Mary?” Ben groaned, “Do you ever forget anything?” “Nope” “No, it's not a
date it's just a party.” “A party?” “Just with some of the other people our
age” “Sounds like you'll have fun, go ahead and leave early if you want,” “I
don't know...I mean before the world ended I never fit in with other kids my
age, so I don't know why this will be any different.” Erik touched his
shoulder, “Just give them a chance, you'll never know, you might like them.”
Ben smiled,  Maybe I was wrong about him.
….
“Open the gates Erik.” Nathan shouted. Erik opened the gates and they walked
out, following behind Tripp’s group. “What are we doing?” Garth asked “Tripp’s
group is  going on a dry run today, so we are going to go with them, to get you
used to the terrain.” “Ok” they ran to catch up to Tripp’s group. “Hey Tripp”
Nathan said “Mind if we tag along so the rookie can get to know the terrain?”
“No problem, that's what we are doing.” Nathan nodded, satisfied and walked
over to Sirin. “Hi, I'm Nathan, you must be Sirin.” “Yep,” Garth walked to them
and grabbed Sirin’s hand. “Hey,” Sirin turned his attention to Garth “Hi how
are you?” Garth smiled “Good.” he answered “Did you see Ben today with Erik?”
Sirin nodded “Yeah I'll have to make fun of him for it later.” Garth laughed
“You’re such a good parent.” “Oh you have a kid?” Nathan cut in, pointedly
asking Sirin “Yeah, we have a son.” He answered squeezing Garth's hand.
….
“No, I'm just saying that if it was fake I would have known” “That's not true
it was so fake.” Ben laughed. He checked his watch “You want to leave?”  Erik
asked, sounding a little disappointed. Ben nodded, “Sorry, but this was fun I'm
glad, that uh, I got assigned to you or whatever.” He stood up to leave but
stopped when they heard a shout and a gunshot in the distance. Erik grabbed his
gun to look through the scope and saw Nathan  carrying someone in his arms.
Erik handed the gun to Ben and opened the gates. “Go tell Rhett someone's
hurt.” He yelled to one of the guys below. Erik opened the gates, “It's Garth”
Ben yelled as Nathan got closer. He entered the gates and didn't stop running,
straight to the infirmary. The rest of the guys came back not to much later and
Tripp’s screaming attracted Diane and the rest of the people outside. “What is
going on out here?” she yelled “Looks like gay boy here has a problem with the
way that we do things” he yelled back gesturing towards Sirin. “Yeah I fucking
have a problem, you don't know what the fuck you're doing and because of that
someone might die.” He yelled back “Why'd you let these people in?” Tripp asked
Diane, “You, know maybe because we actually know what we are doing.” Tripp
turned around and swung at Sirin, who ducked and pushed him to the ground,
before running to the infirmary. Tripp got up, “Tripp, my office, now.” Diane
said and they walked back into her house. Ben turned to Erik, “I got-” Erik
nodded “Yeah go ahead” Ben climbed down the guard post and ran into the
infirmary. Sirin was pacing in the small entryway. “Ben” he said when he walked
through the door. Ben hugged him, “What happened?” Sirin pulled away and went
back to pacing, “Fucking Tripp, was trying to show off and shot him.” “Is he
going to be ok?” Sirin shrugged “Rhett says, that we just need to give him time
to work, about three hours.” Nathan came out of the room where Rhett was
working, “What's happening?” Ben asked hopefully. “Rhett just keeps saying that
he needs more time. I'm sorry you guys.” He said then left the building. “I'm
sorry I-” Ben said, his voice breaking before he went outside and sat on the
front step. He looked up and saw Tripp come out of Diane’s house covered in
blood. Without thinking Ben shouted, and Tripp turned to him with wide eyes and
started running after him with a knife. There was a shot, then it was Tripp’s
turn to shout, and he fell onto the ground, clutching his leg. “What the fuck?”
Sirin said as he ran outside “I-” Ben tried, right before he felt his knees
collapse and his world went black.
….
“Erik!” Sirin shouted as Ben fell to the ground. Erik was already climbing down
the guard post and ran over. “I'll take him to my house, you go tell Rhett
about Tripp and go see why he is covered in blood.” Sirin nodded and went back
inside. Erik picked Ben up bridal style and carried him to his house. He laid
him down on the couch and got him a glass of water and a wet towel. Then he sat
on the floor in front of the couch and brushed Ben's bangs off his forehead
before placing the towel on and walking back to the kitchen.
….
***** Chapter 10 *****
Ben opened his eyes. He felt his heart race and he shivered. “This is all my
fault.” he whispered. Erik came into the room “You're awake.” He said sitting
on the couch next to him. He noticed Ben shaking, “Hey, what's wrong?” Ben
didn't say anything, he just let his head fall into his hands and cried. Erik
hesitated, then reached out and grabbed his hand. It wasn't passionate. It
wasn't some heat of the moment, unable to resist type of thing. It was simple.
It was comforting. It was the most natural thing in the world for him to twine
their fingers together. Ben looked up, surprised but he didn't pull away. “A-
any word on Garth?” Erik shook his head. “No, not yet.” Ben started crying
again, “Sorry, I'm so sorry.” Erik squeezed his hand, “Sorry for what?” “It-
It's my fault.” “What's your fault?” “That Garth for shot and now he might die,
because of me” “How is it your fault?” “I was the one who told him to come
here” “So? You couldn't have known that this was going to happen.” “I guess…..”
he trailed off, still crying. Erik didn't say anything, he just sat there and
held his hand. Ben's tears slowed down after a while, “You better?” Ben nodded
and squeezed his hand before letting go. “Can I use your bathroom?” “Yeah, it's
just down the hall.” Ben stood up and walked down the hall and Erik would be
lying if he said he didn't watch him walk away.
….
Sirin knocked on Erik's door, and waited for him to answer. While he waited he
paced,  Calm down you're fine, Ben's fine, you're all fine. Not everyone.  A
voice in the back of his head told him.  Stop, stop, stop it's...fine It's not
fine what if he dies, you'll have no one you'll be all alone again.  He felt
his eyes well up and Erik stepped out. “You ok?” Sirin didn't answer “Tripp
stabbed Diane, they are both in the infirmary now. I have to go on a run to get
more medical supplies for Rhett, can Ben stay with you?” “Yeah of course” Sirin
nodded and walked away.
….
Erik walked back into his house, and saw Ben sitting at his kitchen bar,  Looks
like he wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon, that should make this easier.
“ Hey, Ben, Sirin has to go on a run, get more medical supplies.” “Ok, so can I
stay with you?”  Easier than I thought,  “Yeah, of course” Ben nodded and
turned back to the counter, “Hey, are you hungry?” “No,” “Well, do you want to
eat anyways” “No” “Are you ok?” Ben started crying again “No, can I go to
sleep?” “Yeah, come on.” he led Ben back into the livingroom. Ben laid on the
couch while Erik went and got him pillows and blankets. “Here” Ben nodded his
thanks and closed his eyes. “Night, Erik.” “Night”. Erik walked up stairs to
his room and went to sleep as well.
….
Erik woke up to Ben climbing into his bed. “Ben?” Ben jumped, then turned to
look at him, “Oh, hi Erik, what are you doing here?” “This is my room?” Ben
looked around the room, “Yeah, I guess it is.” “Are you drunk?” Ben laid down
next to him, “Yeah, a tiny bit, Mary had a party tonight so I went and drank a
little,” “Seems like you drank a lot.” Ben shrugged and scooted closer to him.
“Are, you alright? You were really sad earlier today and then you went out and
got drunk, you're only sixteen, that shouldn't happen.” “I'm ok, I guess” he
moved closer to Erik again “I mean this whole Garth thing fucking sucks we
don't know if he's gonna live, this community, it just feels weird, and you…”
Ben didn't finish “What about me?” “I don't know, whatever.” Erik knew he was
lying, but he didn't say anything else. Ben moved all the way over to him and
hugged him tightly,”Ben-” Erik started as he pulled away. Ben looked up at him
with  sad, watery eyes, “Please?” Erik sighed and let Ben pull him back into
the hug.  When did I become a weak person who cuddles?  He thought, but he
still hugged him back, wrapping both arms around him and running a hand through
his hair.  This is going to be awkward in the morning.
….
Erik woke up feeling Ben shift on top of him. He looked down to see his head
resting on his chest and his arm wrapped around him, holding him tightly. Erik
sighed and looked out the window, it was raining which meant that standing on
the wall all day miserable. Ben moved again, loosening his grip on Erik and
opening his eyes. He must have realized that he was hugging Erik because he sat
up immediately. “Sorry, I think I got a little drunk last night.” “Yeah you
did, but it's fine.” Ben nodded but he looked really embarrassed as he stood up
and walked out of the room.
….
The day passed just like the day before, except for Ben barely spoke to Erik.
“Hey, can we talk?” he asked Ben after their shift was over and they went back
to Erik’s house. Ben was sitting in the living room, reading. “I guess” he said
not looking up. Erik sat down and Ben moved away from him. “Ben, I know that
you are embarrassed about what happened but it doesn't matter, like at all” Ben
didn’t say anything or even look up, Erik sighed, “Look, I know you are going
through a hard time right now, but you don’t have to do it by yourself.” Ben
didn’t look up from the book, but he said, “You don’t think it’s weird?” Erik
shrugged, “Only if you make it.” Ben thought about it for a while, then nodded
hesitantly, “Yeah okay.” Erik smiled and got up, “You haven’t eaten, do you
want dinner?” Ben stood up too, “I thought all you had was coffee” “We are
going to go over to Rhett’s house for dinner.” Ben groaned, “Why Rhett?” “He’s
my brother, so once a week I am forced to have dinner with him,” “Oh, that
sucks, and it seems like you don’t get along, so I will definitely come, I love
fights.” Erik laughed “Ok, let’s go.”
….
Ben and Erik arrived at Rhett’s house about ten minutes later, and Erik stopped
him before going inside, “I should warn you Erik and his family are a little
different, so just be prepared to be judged on every little thing you do,”
“What?” “Hey, you didn’t have to come” Ben rolled his eyes, “Whatever, how bad
can they be?”  Erik opened the door and walked in, two kids sat on the floor,
playing a game, while a woman held a screaming baby, she turned around when she
saw them, “Good you're here, I have to go find Rhett, watch the kids for me,
yeah?”  she didn’t wait for them to answer, and shoved her baby into Ben’s
arms, she walked out of the house and slammed the door, which made the baby
scream louder. “Um, what do I do with this?” Erik shrugged, “Just try to get
him to calm down” Ben held the baby upright, and he started sucking on the
collar of Ben’s tee shirt, “Gross, but at least he stopped crying.” Erik
commented “Yeah, so who was that and who are they?” “Oh, right. This is Noah
and Elizabeth, and Christopher, and that was Rhett’s wife, Carol.” Ben nodded
then looked down when he felt a tug on his pant leg, “I’m hungry,” Noah said he
held his arms up, wanting Ben to hold him, “Ok, let’s get you something to eat”
Erik answered. He walked into the kitchen, followed by Noah and Elizabeth. Ben
sighed and looked at the baby, who was devouring his shirt, “Do you think he’s
hungry too?” he asked Erik as he walked into the kitchen, “Probably, hold on
and I can make his food to.” Ben sat down and looked at the kids, they were
eating spaghetti. “How old are you guys?” they each held up three fingers,
“They’re twins.” Erik explained. They ate the rest of their meal in silence.
Erik handed Ben a bottle and he fed it to Christopher, who fell asleep right
after he was done. The twins fell asleep shortly after, leaving Erik and Ben to
clean up their mess and then carry them upstairs to their bedroom. Ben laid
Christopher down in his crib, silently praying that he stayed asleep,
considering his shirt was still drenched in the baby’s saliva. He snuck out of
the room and tiptoed down the hall, so he didn’t wake anybody. When he got to
the living room, he collapsed onto the couch next to Erik, “Tired?” “I’m
exhausted, not to mention I smell like baby spit and spaghetti. I thought we
were supposed to be here to eat dinner with your family, not take care of their
kids while they're off doing god knows what.” “I am so sorry, I had no idea
that this is what was going to happen.” Ben sighed and laid his head on Erik’s
shoulder “Do you think he’s going to die?” he asked quietly. Luckily, Rhett and
Carol came in so Erik didn’t have to answer, Rhett looked at Ben quizzically,
“Why is he here?” “He’s staying with me for a couple of days, while Sirin is on
a medical run.” “Ok, get out.” Erik stood up, followed by Ben but Ben stopped
walking halfway to the door, “How’s Garth?” Rhett didn’t answer, he just turned
his attention to Erik, and asked. “Can I see you in the kitchen for a second?”
He nodded and followed Rhett into the kitchen. Ben heard muffled yelling, then
Erik came out of the kitchen, grabbed his wrist and pulled him out the door.
Once they were back in Erik’s house, Ben asked the question he had been
dreading all night, “He’s dead isn’t he?” “No, Rhett said he’s fine, he needs a
couple days to heal and he should regain consciousness tomorrow.” “Really?”
Erik nodded and Ben sighed in relief. “We should go to bed.” “Can I use your
shower first?” “Yeah, go ahead there are towels under the sink.”
….
Ben walked into Erik’s room half an hour later and shook him awake, “Hey”
“What?” Erik didn’t open his eyes, “Where are all of your blankets?” Erik
sighed sleepily and rolled over, “I took them to the laundry, sorry, I forgot.
Just sleep in here.” Ben hesitated, then walked over to the other side of the
bed and climbed in next  to Erik, “Hey” “What?” “Garth is really alive right?
You weren’t lying?” “Yes he is alive.” “Then what was wrong earlier?” “Just
something Rhett told me” “What was it?” “Tomorrow.” was all he said before he
fell back asleep. Ben couldn't help but scoot closer to him, this is the type
of friends Erik said they could be right? So, Ben found himself drawing closer
to him, gently cuddling into him until he too, fell asleep.
***** Chapter 11 *****
Ben woke up the next day to the sound of scuffling in the room. “What are you
doing?” he mumbled sleepily towards the direction he thought Erik was, “Huh? Oh
sorry I didn’t mean to wake you up. I was just looking for something.” Ben
opened his eyes and saw Erik going through his dresser, throwing out clothes
everywhere. “Has Garth woken up yet?” “No, not yet. Maybe tonight.” Ben
deflated a little bit but nodded. “Are you going to come and guard today?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?” “Because you’re sixteen and you could be spending more
time with kids your age.” “I went to a party with them the other night, and
frankly I had more fun with you last night then I did with them.” “You had more
fun watching my brothers kids all night then you did being a teenager and doing
teenager stuff?” Ben nodded and closed his eyes, “Can I go back to sleep?” Erik
chuckled, “Sure buddy, go back to sleep.”
….
Erik had to hand it to him, Ben had endurance. It was his third day guarding
the wall and he didn’t complain about it being boring once, though he did sigh
longingly, when he saw Mary and a couple of her friends messing around in the
square. When asked if he wanted to go to, he just shook his head and looked
back out towards the woods. “Do you think there are others?” Ben asked him
after a particularly long period of silence. “You came from a community of
others.” Erik answered, “I know but, like the rest of the world, it can’t all
be dead right?” “Right, there are probably tons of other groups and people who
survived, just like us.” “Ever wonder why we are the ones who survived?” “Not
really, probably just because we are the strongest or we just got lucky.” “Hey,
what was wrong last night after you talked to Rhett?” “What? Oh just something
he said, he was being stupid.” Ben rolled his eyes when he realized Erik wasn’t
going to say anything else, “...Ok fine don’t tell me.” Erik smiled “Sorry, Ben
it’s just not something I want to share.” Ben nodded in understanding and
looked around, trying to avoid any awkwardness. Everyone was looking at him
questioningly. He looked at Erik to see if he noticed it too, but he was
oblivious. “Why is everyone staring at us?” he whispered after about fifteen
minutes of feeling their eyes burn holes through him. Erik looked around and
rolled his eyes, “Get back to work. Now.” he said loudly and everyone’s gaze
snapped to what they were supposed to be doing. “You didn’t answer my
question.” Ben pressed lightly, Erik scooted closer so no one could hear, then
said, “Remember how you said that you don’t get along with people your age?”
Ben nodded, “Well, it’s like that for me except I don’t get along with anybody.
So, they are all staring at us because we are talking and I am being nice to
you.” “So I’m am being stared at because you are a dick?” “Pretty much.” Ben
laughed “Is that what Rhett was mad about last night?” Erik nodded and looked
away, “Kind of.” “Kind of?” “I’ll just tell you later ok?” “Erik!” they turned
around to see Rhett shouting from the porch of the infirmary, “Come here.” Erik
rolled his eyes again and climbed down the guard post and walked to Rhett where
was standing. Ben couldn’t hear anything they were saying, but there was lot of
Rhett gesturing wildly and Erik was rolling his eyes. He didn’t even realize he
was staring until Erik waved at him and smiled sweetly. Ben waved back, then
turned around to what he was supposed to be doing. Sirin still hadn’t come
back, but he was going to...hopefully.
….
He’ll be ok.  Sirin repeated to himself, like a mantra.  Garth had to be ok. If
he dies things will just go back to way they were before. No, they won’t, Garth
is the only thing you love. So I can just go back to not loving things. You
don’t want to. Our relationship was always kind of one sided anyways. No it
wasn’t, you know that Garth loves you, he told you he did first.  He continued
walking through the woods with the things for Garth in a satchel bag. He had
been lucky this time. Only encountered about twenty of the sick, and no people.
He hadn’t found everything that was on the list but he hoped it would be
enough, it had to be enough. He felt guilty that this even happened, but he
didn’t want to focus on that , he let his mind wander, and that’s how he ended
up in a debate with himself whether it was worth it or not to even return. He
knew he would return, but that didn’t stop him from thinking about just
leaving. He got back to Secord at about eleven, Ben and Erik weren’t on shift,
but Rhett ran out, “Is he awake?” “Yeah, go see him.” Rhett answered,
uninterestedly. Sirin ran to the infirmary while Rhett went to Erik’s house. He
walked inside without knocking and found Erik and Ben upstairs, laying in
Erik’s bed. They were both asleep, Erik spooning behind Ben, holding him
tightly. Rhett rolled his eyes and fought the urge to wake them up and make Ben
leave. Instead, he sat down in the chair by the window and waited for them to
wake up. It would take awhile, yes, but at least he would be able to observe
his brother’s behavior with Ben. He didn’t like Ben from the start and he
doesn’t need to become friends or anything more with Erik.
….
Sirin entered Garth’s hospital room and saw him lying on the bed. He was pale,
but Rhett had said that he was going to live. He crossed the room and grabbed
Garth’s hand , “I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you woke up. I went out to look
for any medicine that would help.” he said quietly. “It’s okay.” Garth scooted
over so Sirin could sit down beside him, and held him with Sirin resting his
head on Garth’s chest. “Hey Sir?” “Hm?” “Do you remember Clay and Lyla?” “From
the base? Yeah.” “I heard Rhett and Diane talking and I think that Clay and
Lyla are coming here. What are prenatal vitamins?” “There vitamins for
pregnancy.” “Do you realize what this means? Clay and Lyla are coming here and
Lyla is pregnant.” “Garth, that’s great and all, but you need to focus on
getting better.” Garth ignored him. “Diane’s going to retire. She wants Rhett
to take over for her.” “Really?” “Yeah, I think they said next week they will
tell everyone.” “Garth no more talking, rest.” “I have been resting for two
days.” “Please?” “Fine, hey Sir?” “What?” “I love you.” Sirin smiled and kissed
his cheek. “Love you too.”
***** Chapter 12 *****
“Do you think Rhett’s ok?” Ben asked later that day, they were sitting on the
couch at Erik’s house, watching Star Wars on the old TV. “I think he’s fine,
just a little pissy about…” Erik trailed off. “About what,” “Nothing, it
doesn’t matter.” Ben paused the TV. “Oh are we playing the ‘let’s be an
immature little bitch instead of facing our problems’ game? I love that one!”
“I don’t want to make things weird between us.” Ben leaned up and  licked
across Erik’s mouth. “Ew, Ben. What the hell?” “Now things are awkward between
us. You can say your thing now?” Erik nodded, hoping Ben didn’t see him lick
his lips. He didn’t do it on purpose, it was subconscious. “Rhett doesn’t think
that we should hang out.” “Why?” “You don’t know this about me-” “I don’t know
a lot about you.” “I had a fiance that cheated on me, it was after, but she was
going to marry me and was still cheating on me. Rhett is worried that I’ll
become...attached to you. His exact words were ‘You can’t love him. It’s
wrong’” Ben was quiet for a moment, “Was she is hot? I’m just asking because, I
mean look at you.” “Yeah, but that doesn’t matter.” Ben raised his hand and put
it over Erik’s heart, “I’m sorry she hurt you, you’re not going to stop being
friends with me right?” “No, my brother is an asshole. I don’t need to listen
to him.” “Can we get to know each other?” Ben asked, not moving his hand off
Erik’s chest “Sure, just take turns telling each other things?” Ben nodded and
Erik got up, getting a beer from the kitchen. “My fiance’s name was Rachel.” he
said after he sat back down. “Kids bullied me when I was in school, it got so
bad I had to move schools.” “What did they bully you for?” Ben bit his lip and
looked down. “Come on buddy, you can tell me anything.” “It would make things
weird.” “You licked my mouth, things are already weird.” “They bullied me
because I was gay. They would write ‘gay boy’ and ‘faggot’ over all my stuff
and tell everyone I liked to take it up the ass. Beat me up after school.”
“What did your parents do?” “My parents did worse. My dad was drunk all the
time and would take all his anger out on me. My mom was on drugs and went to
jail before I was in school. I was locked in a closet, and he beat me until I
couldn’t walk.” Erik took Ben’s arm and pulled up his sleeve. He had several
scars from cutting on his wrist. “Is this because of that?” “Yeah.” Ben sighed,
and grabbed the beer from Erik’s hands, taking along drink, “Your turn.” “I’ve
never been in love before, not even with my fiance. I loved her, but I wasn’t
in love with her, if that makes sense. I realized it after she cheated on me.”
“I’ve never kissed anyone before.” “Really?” Ben punched him, “Shut up.” Erik
looked at his watch, “It’s getting late, want to finish the movie?” “Yeah,” Ben
said, pushing play and taking another drink, this time sitting closer than
before. Erik took the bottle from Ben, setting it on the coffee table and
pulling Ben into his lap. He learned quickly that Ben loved touches. Ben
cuddled closer and before long he was asleep. Erik held him tighter, trying to
figure out why he had pain in his chest from what he had just learned about
Ben. He couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to hurt him, why would they?
….
Ben woke up the next day on Erik’s couch, curled up in his lap. Ben yawned and
punched Erik awake when he saw a cat looking at them from the coffee table.
“Ow, good morning to you to.” Erik said, rubbing his arm. “You didn’t tell me
you have a cat” “What? Oh yeah I have a cat.” Ben scooped the cat into his arms
and held it close. “I haven’t seen a cat in so long, what’s it’s name?”
“Alchemy.” Erik mumbled out, laying back down. “Alchemy.” Ben repeated “Like
the comic book villain?” “Yes, now be quiet.” he whispered. But Ben didn’t
listen, he started talking to Alchemy quietly, saying things like, “You’re not
a villain kitty, you’re sweet. Don’t listen to what Erik says, he’s just grumpy
because I called him on being a little bitch last night.” Ben threw a smirk in
Erik’s direction, expecting to get one back, but instead he got a look of
fondness and a smile. “What?” “You're cute.” Ben rolled his eyes “Whatever.
What are your plans for today?” “I have to go guard.” he said, rolling over.
Ben thanked whatever God there was that Erik didn’t make things awkward after
he learned that Ben was gay. He barely had a reaction, which showed Ben that he
really didn’t care, it didn’t affect their relationship at all. “Do you want me
to guard with you?” he asked shyly, he definitely wanted to, but didn’t want to
come off as clingy or annoying. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I?” Ben shrugged and put
Alchemy on the floor, “Don’t you want to hang out with someone else?” “No, why
would I? There’s no one else that I feel comfortable with as easily as you, or
can talk about space and Star Wars and comic books.” “You don’t find it
annoying that I want to cuddle all the time?” “A little.” Erik said honestly
“but not enough to make me stop hanging out with you or to make me not cuddle
with you.” Ben laughed “You like it, don’t you?” “Shut up.” Erik got up, “I’m
going to go take a shower.” “I’m going to go home, see you later.” Ben stood
up, “Would it weird if I hugged you.” “You literally licked my mouth last
night. Come here.” Ben crossed the room and Erik hugged him tightly. “I’ll see
you later buddy.” Erik went upstairs to shower.
***** Chapter 13 *****
Six weeks. Six weeks since Garth woke up, six weeks since Clay and Lyla
arrived, six goddamn weeks since Erik and Ben became...whatever they are. To
say that Rhett was pissed would be an understatement. He was supposed to be the
leader already and if things had worked out the way he wanted, Clay and Lyla
wouldn’t even be there and Ben sure as hell wouldn’t be as close as his was to
Erik. He had to stay calm or something bad was going to happen. It would all
work out, he was becoming leader today and he would fix everything. He stepped
out onto the stage in the church, “Hello everyone, thanks for coming, as you
know my name is Rhett, and I am your new leader.” he looked around at everyone
that was gathered and saw Erik sitting in the back, watching him intently. Then
Ben walked in and put his hand on Erik’s shoulder and his face lit up
immediately. Erik moved so that Ben could sit beside him and Ben rested his
head on Erik’s shoulder as they listened to the rest of what Rhett has to say.
“I am your new leader.” he repeated. “There will be no more jobs, I will assign
you were I think you’ll best fit on a day to day basis.” lots of people
murmured in response, but Rhett didn’t listen, he was busy watching Erik and
Ben who were talking to each other quietly, Ben blushed and Rhett had enough.
He finished his speech and then told Erik to stay behind. “I am choosing you to
go on a scouting mission. We are going to need any medical supplies you can
find, as well as food and clothes.” Erik nodded “I can leave tonight, just let
me pack a bag.” “Thanks Erik.” he went home and threw clothes into a bag, then
went to the wall to say goodbye to Ben. Ben saw him come over and climbed down
the guard post, “Hey, how come you’re not on guard?” “I actually came to talk
to you about that, um Rhett is making me go on a run today, I’ll just be gone
for a couple of days, but I just wanted to come and say goodbye.” Ben looked
sad, maybe more sad than he should look, but he hugged Erik tightly, ignoring
the looks they got from the others. Erik pulled him behind the main post, so
they were out of sight and hugged Ben, not worrying about pulling away. “Do you
want me to get you anything?” Ben smiled, “Grape soda and blankets. Also
movies, oh and books, preferably comic books or medical textbooks.” “Ok buddy.”
he could tell there was something Ben wanted to say, “What is it?” “I’m going
to miss you. I don’t have anybody else.” “You have Sirin and Garth, maybe hang
out with Mary and Josh, but if I die-” “You won’t.” Ben shook his head as he
said it, and a tear fell. Erik kissed the corner of his mouth, “If I do, here.”
Erik took the chain from around his neck and gave it to Ben, there was a silver
band on the end that looked like it would fit him, but was too small for Erik’s
fingers “My brother Aaron gave it-” “Don’t. Tell me when you get back.”
….
Erik woke in a cell. He didn’t know how long it had been or where he was, just
that the place was an old prison and he couldn’t remember how long he had been
there. Erik opened his eyes and saw that he had a chain around his neck and his
leg stung like a bitch when he tried to walk. A man walked over to him, grabbed
the chain and started walking, down the hall and stopped at a large steel door.
He entered the room and saw someone sitting in a chair at the back. He was led
to a chair right across from him and was told to sit. Erik remained standing,
locked in a stare off with the man "Kneel" he grumbled out, low but calm.
Erik's gaze didn't waver. "Kneel" he said again, this time with more force upon
it. He reached forward and grabbed the chain hanging from Erik's neck, giving
it a hard tug. He fell forward and, with his hands tied behind his back, wasn't
able to stop his head from smacking into the chair. He felt a crack and blood
gushed from his nose, staining the concrete floor. "That's better" he growled,
leaning back in his chair. Erik kept his face on the floor, deciding it would
be better for him to look at anything but the man “Where are you from?” Erik
didn't answer and he started laughing quietly to himself, “Protecting someone?”
he stayed silent “It doesn't matter, they will forget you, just like I will
make you forget them.” Erik grit his teeth but remained on his knees. He
couldn't lose control. Not now. “You know, we re going to be spending a lot of
time together, might as well get used to being with me.” Erik tensed and shot
up, eyes brimming with hatred. He cringed as his weight resettled on his
injured knee but kept leaning back until his spine was straight and he glared
into the man’s eyes. “I’m gonna kill you.” He leaned forward and gripped Erik's
face, nails digging into his cheek and scratching just deep enough for a small
trickle of blood to come free. "You? You can barely walk and you're going to
kill me?” he laughed, a deep and cruel sound. He waved over one of his men and
before Erik could register what was happening, he was being shoved roughly back
down. He felt a painful stab at the base of his neck and he groaned. It felt
like liquid fire was being injected into his bloodstream. It coursed through
his body and he reared back, a scream ripping itself from his throat. He stared
at the ceiling as the pain began to subside and realized that he could now see
everything in a sharp clarity. Moments later, he sunk back to the ground and
blackness overwhelmed him. Erik woke with his head throbbing painfully. “Where
am I?” the man laughed, “I’m Ezra.” he walked over and placed a hand on Erik’s
chest, Erik was strapped down, tied at his hands and feet. He noticed that they
had moved to another room, apparently underground. He was laying in just his
boxers. “You know, if I swung the other way…” Ezra rubbed his arms, then pulled
out a scalpel. He stated cutting over his abs in long, vertical lines going
from the bottom of his ribs to a little underneath the waistband of his boxers.
Erik screamed out in pain and pulled at his restraints. “I saw you in the
woods, Erik. Do you want to know why I brought you here?” Erik nodded
furiously, trying not to pass out. “I have a community here, and we have a very
specific way of doing things. We have been through so much and then there’s
people like you, who have had it easy since the beginning, probably had it easy
even before. So we are here to show you what it means to hurt, to struggle, but
we’ll never let you die, after you are suitably scarred and know how it feels
to be scared and broken and lost, we will let you go, back to where ever you
were from, afraid and damaged. Now, down to business, when we captured you, you
had two cans of grape soda and med school text books. Who were those for?”
there was no way Erik was bringing Ben into this, so he lied. “They were for
me.” “Then why didn’t you drink the soda?” “I had three cans to begin with, I
already drank one.” Ezra started pacing, but he was more amused than angry. “I
don’t believe you. I think you know what is going to happen if you tell me the
truth, and you’re scared. That shows me that you care about whatever it is a
lot, probably more than you should.” “H-how did you know that?” Ezra laughed,
“I interrogated prisoners of war before this. You are easy.”
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