Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/160355.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Popslash
  Relationship:
      Aaron_Carter/Nick_Carter
  Character:
      Aaron_Carter, Nick_Carter
  Additional Tags:
      Cartercest
  Stats:
      Published: 2005-05-02 Words: 916
****** Ever The Same ******
by iconis
Summary
     Aaron tries to forgive and forget.
Hours later, Aaron still hears his mom screaming. Her voice is shrill and angry
in his head, but the words, for once, aren't directed at him. They still smart.
He presses his forehead against the cool glass of the window. The car moves
slowly, and Aaron glances through the windshield. He can't see anything else
than the red glow of the tail lights of the car driving in front of them
through the cold gray of the rain. Aaron closes his, listens to the drumming of
rain against the car's roof. He pretends Nick is there, driving, can almost
feels Nick's hand on his shoulder. It's the first time in years Aaron feels
like crying.
His mom is screaming. He opens his eyes, groggy, disoriented and tries to
remember his dream to understand what has woken him up. Then he hears her voice
again, and he doesn't know what else to do than run.
He walks from the curb to the gate alone, punching the gate's security code
precisely. The rain wets his hair and runs down his face. He fools himself into
thinking his eyes sting because of it. He doesn't bother hurrying up - it
doesn't get that cold in January, and the cool water feels good, relaxing. The
wind raises goosebumps on his arms. He can see the scratches from her nails on
his skin and he forces himself to walk forward the few remaining steps. He
rings the doorbell, once, twice and waits.
He has to grab her hard to get her away from the bed. She's still screaming,
like a disappointed little child, fights back, but finally he manages to get
her far enough for his dad to help. He feels like a freight train is pressing
on his chest.
It takes a long time, and when the door opens, it's not Nick who opens. It's a
stranger, swaying in his step, smelling like booze and weed. He just looks at
Aaron, and leaves the door open. Aaron almost asks for Nick, but decides to
step in quietly. The house reeks, the smell almost makes Aaron gag. There's
people lying in the living room, on the couches and chairs, obviously passed
out. Aaron peers into the kitchen, finding no one but a crazy mess. He decides
to check upstairs, wake up Nick, and then throw the people out. His job has
always been to pretend he's the grown-up.
He watches the blood well up in the deep scratch on his forearm. The uniforms
are dragging her away - she isn't screaming anymore, just cursing under her
breath. Aaron tries to convince himself she's just drunk, not crazy.
Nick is lying on his back on his bed, alone. He's half-dressed, mouth slightly
open. He looks good despite the mess he is, and it takes Aaron only a few
minutes to wake him up and curl up on his chest, just for a little while, just
long enough to feel Nick's voice against his skin, to balance himself with
Nick's heartbeat. Aaron isn't sure if Nick's really awake or just thinks he's
dreaming Aaron there, but he doesn't care. The warmth is enough, just for now,
and Aaron closes his eyes.
It's quiet after she's gone. Dad tries to calm Ginger down, and looks at you,
all helpless, like you're supposed to do something. You're briefly grateful the
girls aren't home, and walk to your room to get dressed.
~~~
Aaron wakes up under the covers in an empty bed. It's quiet, and the air smells
fresh, like recent rain. He opens his eyes. The curtains are drawn from the
window, but the cool breeze from the open window barely shifts the thick
fabric. The weather hasn't changed - it's still raining in midst of all the
gray. Aaron pushes up to sit on the edge of the bed. He can't remember if he
took his clothes off, but he's naked under the covers, and his clothes are
gone.
Nick's touches are demanding and hesitant. Aaron's lungs are on fire from
breathing so hard, and when he feels Nick's mouth on his cock, the hot air
comes out of him as a loud, desperate moan.
He gets up and finds something to wear, Nick's smallest t-shirt, a pair of
drawstring shorts. He glances himself in the mirror. The clothes make him look
like an over-grown twelve-year-old. Suddenly Aaron feels so old, so worn around
the edges, and the train is back on his chest, pressing him down on the floor
on his knees. It takes him a better part of an hour to calm down.
Nick pushes into Aaron in one slow, controlled move. Their eyes are locked on
each other. Nick's touches shake Aaron to the deepest of his core, and when
Nick comes, Aaron has never felt so grateful, ashamed and happy at the same
time.
Downstairs, everything is clean and aired out when he descends the stairs.
There's no one in the living room, it's quiet and peaceful. Aaron looks around
and finally sees Nick on the patio, sitting on the stairs smoking a cigarette.
Aaron opens the door quietly, and steps outdoors. The tiles are wet and cold
under his bare feet. Nick pulls him down, next to him, squeezes him against his
side. Aaron snatches the cigarette from Nick's fingers, takes a drag and throws
the cigarette away. Nick is warm and soft against him, his breath is hot and
moist in his ear, running is the furthest thing from Aaron's mind.
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