Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/166287.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Loveless
  Relationship:
      Agatsuma_Soubi/Aoyagi_Ritsuka
  Stats:
      Published: 2007-04-12 Words: 2913
****** Equipoise ******
by inksheddings
Summary
     Ritsuka has never been happier, but hey – what teenager doesn't have
     issues?
Nothing – absolutely nothing – felt as good as sex with Soubi. Ritsuka could
not imagine ever growing tired of thrusting into him; hard and fast, slow and
leisurely, a little of both. It didn't matter. It was heaven. And the sounds
Soubi made were icing on the cake. He moaned and groaned and whimpered even. He
clutched and he petted and he met every one of Ritsuka's thrusts with equal
enthusiasm, which sometimes meant their couplings didn't last all that long.
But neither of them was too old to go another round, so what did it matter?
However, there was one little itty bitty.... Well, "problem" wasn't the right
word. Issue. Yes, one small issue.
"Soubi," Ritsuka ground out as Soubi hovered over him, kissing his collarbone
and slowly stroking his cock with a lubed hand. "You could- nnnngh. You could
top if you wanted. Your fingers are already wet, and - oh, god - we've never
done it like that and-"
But then Soubi impaled himself on Ritsuka's cock and how could anyone argue
with that?
*****
No one could say Soubi was a typical guy. Really, come on. Whether you were
talking about his looks, his attitude, the way he dressed; nothing typical
whatsoever. Except maybe this.
"Soubi, wake up! I want to talk to you!" Ritsuka was nearly yelling as he
leaned over Soubi's curled-up form.
But it was no use. A post-coital Soubi was a sleeping Soubi. Normally this
endeared him even more to Ritsuka, because in sleep he looked trouble free and
so damn young that Ritsuka often found himself looking for ears and a tail. But
if during sex it was no use trying to talk to Soubi about his reluctance to
top, maybe after – when they were both high on the physical release – would
have more of an effect.
But Soubi kept snoring.
Ritsuka flopped back onto the bed, more frustrated than he felt he should be
after what they'd just done together, and played with one of the too long grey
hairs that had starting growing in when he was fifteen. He really needed a cut,
but the shorter his hair the more the grey showed. Not that he was vain or
anything, but he still had a few disturbing memories of getting teased for
being a virgin senior citizen.
Okay. Maybe Ritsuka needed to address this before they even took their socks
off. Hell, how was he supposed to know? They hadn't even started having sex
until after Ritsuka's seventeenth birthday, and that was only five months ago.
What did he know about talking about sex?
Oh. Oh, wait. Of course he didn't know how to approach the situation, with his
limited experience. But he knew people who just might be able to give him some
advice. One person in particular.
Now Ritsuka just had to manage it without burying his head in the sand.
*****
Turned out Ritsuka's head wasn't the only one looking for a dark place to
hide..
"Noooooooooooooooo!" Kio hollered as he jumped up from his spot beside Ritsuka
on the park bench. "No, uh-uh. You can not do this to me. It was bad enough
when you showed up without ears and that cute little tail, you want to talk
about it? Hell, kid, I couldn't help but imagine it and- and-" Kio's shoulders
slumped and he lost some of his bluster. "Shit. Did I really just admit to
that?"
Ritsuka could only nod.
Kio blushed, and if Ritsuka wasn't blushing just as hard he probably would have
managed to laugh at their situation. But he had to talk to Kio. He'd known
Soubi a lot longer than Ritsuka had, and if anyone had any insight into that
weird brain of his it was this guy.
Besides, Ritsuka considered Kio a good friend. He'd been there for Soubi, which
gave him a lot of starting points, but he'd also been there for Ritsuka a few
times since their first meeting. He'd been the one to keep Ritsuka's mom calm
and occupied while Soubi had helped him move out his stuff. He'd also had the
good sense not to say a word about it after they were done.
"Ah, fuck it," Kio said as he sat back down on the bench and valiantly managed
to keep eye contact. "Okay, let me get this straight. You have a boyfriend who
is not only incredibly hot and incredibly submissive in every imaginable way,
but he lets you fuck him upside down and sideways as much as you could possibly
want and yet that's not enough? Am I missing anything here, Ric-chan?"
Ritsuka grit his teeth. "Don't call me that. And if you ruffle my hair I'll
bite your hand off!" he warned as he saw the tell-tale movement.
"Fine, fine!" Kio laughed, lowering his arm. "Look-"
"And he's not submissive about everything, not anymore!"
Kio looked at him with a rather serious expression that would seem out of place
if you didn't know him well enough. It usually meant he was about to say
something you didn't really want to hear, and Ritsuka couldn't help but tense
up.
"Ritsuka, how long have you been living with Soubi now?"
"You know. Almost a year."
A group of kids ran by, young enough to still have ears and tails, and Kio
watched them as they laughed and joked with each other, sharing the warm spring
day as if they hadn't a care in the world. Maybe they didn't.
"He's changed a lot since you came along. He laughs, he smiles- hell, scared me
to death the first time he smiled at me like that! I hadn't even been sure he
had teeth!"
Ritsuka laughed, Kio's easy manner draining some of the tension out of his
body.
"Even before we finished school – before you guys were officially an item –
toward the end he was hardly ever late to class and his assignments were
actually in on time. Our teachers didn't know what to make of him anymore." Kio
shook his head fondly, obviously a bit lost in remembrance and affection.
"Ritsuka, what you've done for him, the happiness you've brought into his life.
I'm actually glad he has you. I'm grateful he's got you to- to...tell him what
to do."
Now it was Ritsuka jumping off the bench, but not in embarrassment but anger.
"I don't! I do not tell him how to live his life! He's an adult as much as I
am, and he can make his own damn decisions, and he does. It's not like I pick
out his clothes or make him take out the trash, and I certainly didn't tell him
to take that job teaching at an all girls school."
But Kio just smiled at him, infuriating Ritsuka even more.
"Kio, I know he still listens to me, that he'll always want to...please me,"
Ritsuka cringed at the admission. "But I do not tell him how to live his life."
"No, you don't. You just tell him to go ahead and live it. So he does."
What?
Oh, Ritsuka's head hurt trying to understand Kio's words. He turned away and
tried to calm down before he really did bite Kio. He nearly jumped when he felt
warm hands on his shoulders.
"Look, Ritsuka. Soubi has definitely changed. He takes care of himself, he lets
himself have fun and good things in his life. Good things like you. But that
wouldn't have happened if you hadn't told him it was possible. Hell, if you
hadn't ordered him to. Come on! That's a part of who Sou-chan is, and really,
what's so bad about that?"
Ritsuka shrugged Kio's hands off and faced him. "What's so bad about that?" he
asked, his voice nearly trembling. "Seimei...." but he couldn't continue. As
much as he wanted to hate his brother it still hurt to say anything spiteful.
But what he'd done to Soubi....
"I know, Ritsuka. Thing is, you're not Seimei. That's really all that matters."
So Ritsuka left the park, pissed off at Kio and Soubi and Seimei and even
himself; no better off knowing how to get Soubi to fuck him, short of ordering
him to do it, and that just seemed plain wrong.
*****
Ritsuka supposed he could do it while Soubi slept. He'd prepared Soubi a
million times by now, it couldn't be so hard to do it to himself, could it? And
he could practice first, but.... No. It was too much like giving Soubi an order
rather than a choice.
"Ritsuka. Hey, Ritsuka, snap out of it."
Ritsuka's head snapped up and he found three pairs of eyes looking at him in
various stages of amusement.
"Sorry," he said sheepishly, and Yayoi rolled his eyes as Yuiko laughed. Soubi
just squeezed his hand before getting up from the table to clear the dinner
dishes.
"It was delicious, as always, Soubi-san! Thank you!" Yuiko chirped.
"It was my pleasure. As always," Soubi responded with a flirtatious grin.
Yayoi grimaced as he watched his not-quite girlfriend follow Soubi into the
kitchen. "Does he have to do that?"
Ritsuka reached across the table and whacked his friend on the head. "Relax.
She came here with you, didn't she?"
"Still!" Yayoi insisted, but at least he was smiling when he said it. "It ain't
easy pining for someone for years, finally getting them to let you drive them
to a friend's house for dinner only to abandon you for the chef. Some double-
date."
"Then why do you look so happy about it?"
"Because it is a double-date! Plus I get to drive her home." Yayoi smirked as
he folded his arms across his chest in self-satisfaction.
"Doesn't she still live with her parents?"
"That's not the point, dumbass. She let me hold her hand from her door to the
car. When I drop her off, maybe she'll let me kiss her goodnight."
Ritsuka sighed, torn between feeling happy or concerned for his friend's latest
attempts at wooing the elusive Yuiko. Honestly, sometimes Ritsuka didn't know
who got on his nerves more; Yayoi for not knowing when to give it a rest, or
Yuiko for not letting him give it a rest. They were both equally frustrating.
"Yayoi..."
"Hmmm?"
"Have you ever thought of just... I don't know, maybe letting Yuiko make a move
first?"
"What do you mean by that?" Yayoi asked, leaning back in his chair as if
Ritsuka might take a swing at him. Or at his heart.
"I mean... Look, it's obvious to everyone how you feel about her, it's always
been obvious. I know it, she knows it, even Soubi knows it. But my point is
that she knows it. Yet you haven't gotten very far in all these years. She
keeps letting you get closer, a little at a time, but never really comes clean
with how she feels about you. Maybe it's time you backed off a little. Stopped
trying so hard. Then maybe you'll find out if she actually misses you or just
the attention you give her."
Ritsuka knew that was a pretty low blow, not just to Yayoi but to Yuiko too.
But really, after all these years? How long could Yayoi possibly hold on?
"You are well aware that I've dated other girls. And I'm sure," Yayoi's
expression was frighteningly sour lemon-like, "she's dated other guys. I've
survived and yeah, I'm still waiting. But Ritsuka, let me ask you one thing.
How long did Soubi wait for you?"
Ritsuka's mouth dropped open but he was completely speechless. Why was Yayoi
bringing him and Soubi into this? That was a totally different situation. "What
the hell are you talking about?"
"Hey, I may be a romantic idiot, but I'm not a stupid romantic idiot. Back then
I was too young – or inexperienced or whatever – to see it, but hindsight is a
wonderful thing. Soubi waited for you. He waited for you, and I don't mean 'til
you were old enough to ride the big kid rides at Disney. Tell me, would you
rather he hadn't?"
Talk about low blows.
"I still don't get what you see in the guy, though," Yayoi added. "What you see
in guys even."
"Yayoi..." Ritsuka warned.
"Yeah, I know, old conversation," Yayoi said, waving away Ritsuka's annoyance.
Yuiko's laughter floated out from the kitchen and Yayoi smiled. He leaned
forward and propped his face in his hands. "Look, all I'm saying is it's my own
business how long I wait for Yuiko. Personally, I think I'm doing okay. I think
we – me and Yuiko – are doing okay. It's my business and my choice. Okay, yeah,
it's her choice too. But how long I wait is totally up to me. Okay?"
Ritsuka was prevented from answering when Soubi and Yuiko reappeared with
desserts in hand, but he didn't really know what to say anyway. All of Yayoi's
talk about Soubi and waiting and choice...it was hitting a little too close to
home.
*****
Ritsuka was already in bed when a naked and already hard Soubi climbed in next
to him.
"Mmmmm.... I like it when you wear pajamas. It's so much fun to pull them off
of you," Soubi said as he playfully tugged at Ritsuka's bottoms.
Ritsuka lifted his hips in clear invitation and Soubi lost no time in stripping
him of all articles of clothing. Then he rolled on top of Ritsuka, licking and
nibbling at his throat.
Ritsuka ran his fingers down Soubi's seemingly never-ending back and in no time
at all he was hard and aching. He thrust against Soubi's thigh, eliciting a
half-laugh, half-groan from him.
"You're always so eager, aren't you?" Soubi teased before kissing him deeply.
Ritsuka could get lost in Soubi's kisses, as much as he could get lost in the
sex itself. Maybe more so, because so many of his earliest memories with Soubi
involved kisses. Sure, those first kisses had been confusing and not a little
frightening, but the memory of them made his stomach flutter and his cock
twitch and perhaps that meant he'd been the pervert all along, not Soubi.
Didn't matter now, though. Everything they did together was mutual. Still scary
sometimes, knowing you were actually clinging – both physically and emotionally
– to the person you wanted to be with for the rest of your life.
Soubi sucked on a nipple and Ritsuka arched his back off the bed. Soubi's mouth
could do amazing things, even without words. As Soubi moved lower down his
body, as his hand teased his balls and his tongue swirled inside his
bellybutton, Ritsuka could feel Soubi's cock leaking against his calf and it
thrilled him how much Soubi loved this, loved pleasing him to the point that-
that....
That it didn't really matter who was on top or bottom. What the hell had he
been so damn worried about?
"Soubi. Soubi, come here."
"I'm a little busy right now."
"Soubi!"
Soubi slid up along Ritsuka's body, making him groan and lose his concentration
for a moment. "God, you feel so good."
"Wouldn't I feel even better with my mouth around your cock?"
Ritsuka rarely blushed anymore, but sometimes he really couldn't help it. "Shut
up, I've got something to tell you."
"Now?"
"Yes! Look, just-" Ritsuka looked into Soubi's eyes and all he could see was
love and amusement and endless devotion. Maybe there was only one thing he
actually needed to say.
"I love you."
Soubi leaned down and kissed him tenderly. Soubi didn't say the words back,
because it was all right there in his kiss. Honestly, he hadn't needed to say
them for a couple of years now. No one needed convincing anymore.
"Then let me return the favor," Soubi whispered in his ear before trying to
slide back down and pick up where he'd left off. But Ritsuka had other ideas.
He grabbed Soubi by the shoulders and hauled him back up. Soubi was still
bigger than he was, but not particularly heavy. If Ritsuka caught him by
surprise he could push him around a bit.
"What-" Soubi started, but by then Ritsuka was rolling him over onto his back
and kissing him breathless. The nightstand was a bit of a reach, but he managed
to get the drawer open and fish out the lube.
"You're certainly not wasting any time," Soubi said as he drew his legs up
toward his chest, making Ritsuka hurt with want.
"No, I'm not. Not anymore." Before Soubi could ask what he meant by that
Ritsuka had two fingers inside him and Soubi wasn't saying anything more than
please and thank you.
Ritsuka had once made Soubi come with his fingers alone, and Ritsuka had
finally understood the meaning of erotic. Maybe he'd do it again sometime. But
not now. And maybe someday he'd feel Soubi sliding in and out of his body, and
he'd understand something else. But not now.
When Soubi was suitably stretched, Ritsuka positioned himself and pushed in
slowly. So tight. So hot. Nothing short of perfect. And Soubi's sounds. Soubi
could probably make Ritsuka come just by sound alone. That particular thought,
coupled with the picture of pure, unrestrained lust that was Soubi's body, made
Ritsuka pump into him that much harder and that much faster, until Soubi
wrapped his own hand around his cock and started jacking himself in time with
Ritsuka's thrusts.
Yeah, this was one of those times they wouldn't last long. But so what?

END
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