Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/8518858.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M, Multi
  Fandom:
      Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan
  Relationship:
      Levi/Eren_Yeager
  Character:
      Eren_Yeager, Grisha_Yeager, Levi_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Special_Operations
      Squad_|_Squad_Levi, Hange_Zoë, Petra_Ral, Oluo_Bozado, Armin_Arlert,
      Mikasa_Ackerman, Keith_Shadis, Nanaba_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Reiner_Braun
  Additional Tags:
      Bullied!Eren, Punk!Levi, Trans!Levi, High_School, Alternate_Universe_-
      High_School, Rich!Levi, Sweet!Levi, Abused!Eren, Transgender, Transgender
      themes, LGBTQ_Themes, Athlete!Levi, Smart!Levi, Abuse, erejean_-
      Freeform, because_I_keep_getting_bitched_out_over_erejean, 2_minutes_of
      erejean, is_that_enough_warning, literally_just_plot-progressing_erejean,
      some_of_you_are_assholes
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-11-10 Updated: 2017-01-29 Chapters: 2/? Words: 12674
****** Enigma ******
by friendlyneighborhoodqueer_(ThatAsher)
Summary
     Eren Jaeger is just trying to survive his father's abuse and his last
     year of high school. Deemed the 'school slut,' he uses boys to avoid
     going home to his father, that is until there's a new student in his
     biology class-one with a secret that could bring them closer...or
     tear them apart. Levi isn't like any other boy that Eren has met...in
     more than one way.
Notes
     Hey!
     Hopefully you read the tags, Levi is transgender. If that isn't your
     thing then this isn't your story.
     I'm a transboy, and I'm writing this with language/sexual situations
     I deem appropriate for MY OWN personal experience being transgender.
     Not every transperson feels the same way about sex and terminology,
     so take what I'm saying with a grain of salt. I'm a much more relaxed
     person with things like this, and I'm sincerely sorry if any other
     transpeople are reading this and it upsets them, but I'm not changing
     it. It's my personal trans experience.
     I really hope you enjoy reading this, and comment if you want me to
     continue it. I aim to please.
     Thanks. :)
***** The Day I Met Him *****
I hate school. I've always hated school. The fact that you have to wake up so
early coupled with the near-constant bullying and sexual harassment I go
through is enough to make me never wanna go back again, but this is the first
day of my senior year, so I'm dragging myself into the shower at 6 am again. 
 
I hate school. 
 
My best friend Armin loves school, despite the early mornings and the bullying
that he goes through (which honestly almost rivals the frequency of mine) and
I'll never understand it. He says it's something about his "love of learning"
but I just don't get it. 
 
As I finish up my shower and wrap myself in the huge blue towel I use, I look
in the top drawer of my vanity and find a makeup brush that Mikasa must have
left when she moved out. Mikasa is my imouto, or little sister. She is
Japanese, my parents adopted her after her's were murdered. She likes school
too, somehow. 
  
 ...
  
My first class of the day is Biology, thank god, because the only teacher I
like in this entire school is Mrs. Zoe. She's weird, eccentric almost, and she
always wears the same funny outdated glasses. I walk into the classroom and see
she hasn't arrived yet, so I quickly scan the room to find a seat. 
 
The only one left on the back row is next to a boy I've never seen before. I
almost didn't see him now, he looked like he was trying to hide behind the
human wall that is Reiner Braun. I walk back, and my eyes find themselves
locked onto his. He has the most stunning gray eyes, almost like frozen water
with cracks running across the surface.
 
He is gorgeous, angry face sharp and well-defined, skin snow white and
blemishless, onyx black hair falling into his eyes, shiny like glass. A black
ring clings tightly to his lower lip, and his ears are adorned with scaffold
piercings and several more I don't know the name of, stretched lobes boasting
glittering glass black widows. 
 
Oh shit, I'm staring. 
 
I quickly pull my eyes off him and sit down, and I can almost feel his
frustration prickling in the air around him. Maybe I've finally found someone
that hates school as much as I do. "HELLO!," Ms. Zoe yells from the doorway. 
 

Finally, she's here, carrying a stack of papers that she promptly lets fall all
over her desk and the floor. "I'm your biology teacher! My name is Hanji Zoe!
I'm so excited to see so many familiar faces in here! I think we have one brand
new victim though, can you introduce yourself?"
 
The boy next to me looks surprised, I guess he thought he was well hidden by
Reiner. He groans audibly and stands, not even bothering to walk to the front.
"Levi Ackerman."
 
His voice was low and silky and tickled my ears in a way that's never happened
before. What the fuck is he doing to me? 
 
"Hello, LEVI! Care to tell us about yourself?"
 
"Yeah, I care," he says dryly, then sits back down. This kid is a mystery. 
 
"I'm gonna hafta keep an eye on that one, he's feisty. Now...let's talk about
MITOSIS!"
 
I try so hard to take notes, but I can't help myself form getting distracted.
The way his teeth catch his lip as he stares at the clock in frustration is
mesmerizing. He is pretending to scribble down notes, but I can tell he isn't
even paying attention. 
 
Oh shit, he's looking over here. 
 
He shoots me a sly side eye and smirks devilishly, like he knows I was staring
this entire time. Hell, he probably caught me a dozen times and I was too
spaced out on him to notice. I can feel my face catch on fire and I bury my
head into my notebook. This is gonna be a long day. 
 
The class drags by as I try not to look at him, try my damndest not to stare,
and finally a real distraction presents itself. My phone vibrates in my pocket
and I pull it out and unlock it. 
 
Jean Kierstein
 
     Are you still gonna hang out with me after school, pretty eyes? 
 
I accidentally groan out loud, and Levi scoffs before returning to his half ass
notes, and I roll my eyes. He hasn't even spoken to me and he's an ass. A
gorgeous ass, but an ass nonetheless. I need to stay away from him. 
 
I focus back on my phone. Not only do I not want to hang out with Jean, I don't
want to hang out with anyone, except maybe Mikasa, but she's always busy. She's
the only one I can trust. 
 
My dad beats me. He gets drunk and angry and takes it out on me, like he blames
me for my mom's death. No one, not even Armin, knows except Mikasa.
 
I sigh and know that I have no choice. It's not like I'm popular and can
actually choose my friends, and I sure as hell don't want to go home.
 
Eren Jaeger
 
    Yeah, sure thing.
 
Jean Kierstien
 
    See you then ;)
 
My stomach turns when I see the winky face, but I really have no choice.
Anything Jean could do to me is better than what my dad will when I get home. 
 
The bell finally rings, and Levi almost bolts out of his seat to the door, but
Ms. Zoe intercepts him right before he makes it out. You can see the absolute
frustration on his face, and I decided now is the time to cut this off. No more
thinking about Levi Ackerman. He's obviously trouble. 
 
I exit the room with everyone else, faces passing in a blur as I wander down
the hallways. There are groups of people everywhere you turn, all smiling and
giving the 'last first day' speeches, like they'll never see each other again. 
 
I'm a loner except for Armin, and I've never understood how all these people
get along so well. Even the passing glances I receive are that of disgust. I
guess it's my fault for being a bisexual freak. 
 
I just sigh and keep walking, going from class to class and trying my best. I
want to be able to go to college somewhere far away from here. 
 
Before I even realized it the bell rang for dismissal. It seems like the days
just go faster and faster the older I get. I say goodbye to Armin and drag my
feet to my locker to get my backpack. I'm dreading this afternoon, just like I
dread every other afternoon. One perverted boy in the closet after the next,
one more gut punch, another sleepless night crying and sore in places that
shouldn't be.
 
I feel as disgusting as everyone thinks I am.
 
I finally get everything in my backpack that I might need, no books, but lube,
pain pills, and a change of clothes. I've finally learned to bring my own lube
or end up miserable.
 
I turn around and lean against the wall and let out a sigh, then someone hits
me with a backpack. Hard.
 
"Move, slut," the sickly sweet voice says, and I know exactly who it is.
 
Petra Ral, the most popular girl in school.
 
She is physically perfect, 4'11" and 32-21-35, according to her, perfect
strawberry blonde hair and honey colored eyes. Boys follow her in droves,
giving her everything from chocolates to money, none the wiser that they'll
never have her. She's too much of a bitch.
 
I just slide to the right a bit and don't say anything. If there's a sure way
to socially destroy yourself here, then talking back to Petra is it. She smirks
and keeps walking, turning back to her best friend Nanaba. I can barely catch
the tail end of their conversation.
 
"...ask him?"
 
"Yes, duh. Levi Ackerman will be my date to the formal."
 
"He just can't say no to you, I know it."
 
"Duh."
 
The last person on earth I would have expected Petra to actually take interest
in would be Levi, but I guess he is fucking gorgeous. I'm sure I'll come in
tomorrow to them playing tonsil hockey in front of my Biology class. Stupid
bitch.
 
I sigh and start walking toward the back doors of this wing to find Jean. I'm
dreading this, but I know it's better than home. The bruises from two nights
ago are almost so sore that I can't breathe, and if the cuts get torn open
again I know it'll hurt ten times worse. I scan the parking lot and finally
find him, next to his car. "Hey, Jean!," I call excitedly. I have to make this
at least a little convincing.
 
"Hey, Jaeger," he says flatly. It isn't like this will be the first time we've
done this, the whole hanging out thing. If I'm being completely honest, I've
been leading him on for a while now. I don't want to sleep with him, or anyone
that I have already for that matter.
 
"Whatcha wanna do today?," I ask, trying to sound as enthusiastic as I can.
 
"Well, Marco's first day of soccer practice is today and he wanted me to watch.
That okay?"
 
"Sure, sounds fun," I saw sweetly, but it really doesn't. I don't want to watch
the soccer team. I just want to go to bed. Jean nods and puts his arm tightly
around my shoulders, like he's afraid I might run away or something. We walk to
the bleachers and sit about halfway down them, and I just rest my head on his
chest. The fact that I don't like him doesn't change the fact that human
contact feels nice.
 
Maybe that's why I always come back to Jean. The one I never sleep with, only
let him hold me like this. I know that one day he'll get tired of it and I'll
have to pay up on my end, but at least for now his touch is kind of comforting.
I try to focus on anything but the soccer team, but one person makes that
absolutely impossible. Levi Ackerman.
 
He struts proudly out of the locker room 15 minutes late, and I know for a fact
that Coach Shadis would have torn anyone else a new asshole, but he just
ignores his tardiness as he joins in the warm ups. I realize that my earlier
assessment of him being gorgeous might actually be an understatement as I watch
him do lunges in shorts that I know should be illegal.
 
There isn't an inch of him that I can see that isn't perfectly toned. Bright
blue veins litter his body, his translucent white skin almost glowing in the
sun. His shirt was so tight it was like a second skin, and the way his muscles
contracted and released was like watching an artist paint. I've never been so
interested in soccer in my life.
 
I quickly look up at Jean, who is pretty focused on Marco, so I'm free to stare
at Levi as they actually start practicing. To my surprise, Shadis makes Levi
the center midfielder immediately. This is going to be interesting.
 
They're doing a mock match, half the team and the current team captain, Oluo
Bozado, on one team and Levi and the rest on the other. As soon as Shadis blew
the whistle, the ball hit the net of the goal. The goal on Oluo's side. The
entire soccer team snaps to stare at Levi, dumbfounded. You can tell he knows
how good he is, but that's not to say he's cocky. He's just aloof to everyone's
surprise.
 
He coolly goes back to his place on the field and ignores everyone. Over and
over he does this, uses his lightning fast footwork to dominate the field, like
he was bored and on a level so far beyond the rest that there was no danger of
a real challenge. I shift myself so I'm cuddled up to Jean completely, just to
stay warm, and he makes an affirmative noise and tightens his arm around me.
 
Levi walks over to the bench and takes a drink before Shadis starts the next
round of destruction, and when he resumes his position on the field he looks my
way. Something crosses his face, and I can't tell whether it's anger or
disgust, but he lets the other side score for the first time, like he just
froze. When Shadis blows the whistle again he snaps back out of it, then sulks
off to the field house without a word. 
 
What just happened? Why did he look so mad? "Eren?"
 
"Yeah, sorry Jean...what did you say?"
 
"I said I've missed your lips, Eren," he cooed sweetly. If Jean is anything,
it's a romantic, and I hate it. It makes me feel so much worse about this,
stringing him along. I just give him a half ass smile and kiss him, gently, the
way he wants me to. His embrace is warm, but I feel empty. This isn't what I
want.
 
His lips aren't lips I've ever enjoyed kissing, no matter how good he is at it,
or how soft they are, or how they, for a moment, make me forget that I'm
covered in bruises and my ribs stay cracked. I'm a romantic too, and I'm not in
love with him. I don't think I ever could be. His life is too charmed, he's a
dreamer...I'm jaded and know how hard life can fuck you.
 
Maybe that's why I do this to myself, as a punishment for not being able to
really fall in love. He breaks the kiss and pulls my head against his chest. "I
want you, Eren," he says breathily.
 
I know that already, and I knew that this day would come, so I just nod into
his chest and we start to walk back to his car. I can feel his pulse racing in
the hand I'm holding, and I know I'm about to lose him. He'll have sex with me
and it'll be the end of the comforting touches, the innocent kisses on the
forehead. I can't tell if I'm sad about it, or if the inevitability of it all
is going to make me laugh.
 
I suddenly get nervous, which isn't at all like me. Why? I feel like my heart
is going to pound out of my chest, and I can only assume that I'm just sad to
be losing the closest thing to a relationship I've ever had. I can feel the
tears try to form in my eyes as we reach his car. 
 
Suddenly, as if a switch flipped in Jean's head, he shoves me against the
passenger side door and grabs my crotch. I let out some kind of noise of
protest, but it gets muffled as he presses a kiss into my lips. My fight-or-
flight kicks in and I try to push him off, but he just goes harder. My weak,
battered body isn't much to work with in a situation like this, and I can only
think what kind of damage Levi could do in this situation.
 
Why the fuck am I thinking about Levi right now?
 
As if, by some divine intervention, he could hear my thoughts, I'm suddenly on
the ground, cold pavement under my ass. I don't understand what happened for a
few seconds, until I hear Levi's silky, beautiful voice hiss. "I think he wants
to be left alone."
 
I finally regain my brain function and look to my left, and Jean is pinned by
the throat under Levi's imposing combat boot. You can see fire in his steely
gaze, fists clenched, veins protruding from well-defined arms. "Ugh...fuck,
okay...I'll go...get your foot off of me," Jean manages to choke out, and Levi
scoffs and lifts his foot.
 
Jean scrambles to his feet and bolts to the driver's side door, flings it open,
and speeds out of the parking lot. I just look down at the pavement and try not
to cry, and I'm not sure whether I'm crying because I'm losing Jean or because
I'm happy. It's like a prince just came to my rescue. Before I know it a gentle
finger taps on my shoulder, and I look up to Levi extending his hand to me.
"Come on brat, get up."
 
I take it, and he effortlessly lifts me to my feet, like I'm a grocery bag and
not a 17 year old boy. "Hey...um, thanks...Levi."
 
"Tch. No problem," he says dryly, then finally drops my hand. I hadn't even
realized he'd held on so long. For a fleeting second he looks unsure of
something, but just as quickly as the expression came, it left. "Need a fucking
ride?"
 
I feel my cheeks heat up as he stares into my eyes. "Well...I mean, if you
don't mind."
 
"Just tell me where you fucking live," he says, then turns and wordlessly
starts walking. He navigates through the cars until he stops next to an old
Corvette with perfect, shiny red and black paint.
 
My jaw drops as I gawk at it. I'm not a car person, but even I had to admit
that this is a very sexy car. "Wow...is...is this yours?"
 
He opens the door for me, and I sit, then he goes to the driver's side and does
the same. "Yes," he says curtly before turning the key in the ignition. The car
roars, literally roars, to life as he puts it in first gear.
 
I just make some sort of affirmative noise as he pulls out. He seems angry,
like he doesn't want to talk to me. I'm sure he doesn't. Why the hell would
he? 
 
I started absentmindedly playing with the zipper on my jacket. "Something
wrong, brat?"
 
"You just seem like you...don't really wanna talk." To me.
 
"Hey, that's not true, kid," he says sincerely, and for the first time I get to
hear his voice without all the anger. It's beautiful and low, and he pronounces
some words strangely, almost like he's foreign. "Talk all you fucking want."
 
"I...I'm not really sure what to say," I say nervously as I feel my blush
returning.
 
He turns to glance over at me, and for a split second his hard gray eyes soften
a little. "You can start by telling me what the fuck was happening with
horseface back there."
 
I laugh loudly, loudly enough to accidentally startle him, not that his
reaction is very spectacular. Still calm and collected. "Oh god...I'm sorry,
that's just so fucking funny...he kinda does look like a horse, doesn't he?"
 
"Yep. Now tell me what was happening."
 
"I guess he thinks I like him," I begin, and I feel the familiar coming out
nerves, "everyone thinks I'm a slut because I'm...bisexual."
 
I look over to try and gage his reaction, in vain, because you can't read Levi
Ackerman. "I don't do stereotypes, kid...I doubt someone like you is a fucking
slut anyway."
 
What does he mean by that? "Someone like me?"
 
He takes a second to find an answer. "You just seem pretty sheltered."
 
"Well, I wouldn't say sheltered, but I'm definitely not a slut," I say
confidently. "Turn down this street." Levi does, and I keep catching him
glancing over at me. I don't mind, I actually like it. He's a beautiful enigma
and I feel unworthy of this interest, but I'm glad he's curious. This is the
closest thing to a crush I've had in years. "Fuck, slow down," I groan when I
see my house. "Mine's the one with the blue Jeep in the driveway."
 
He looks concerned. "Something wrong, brat?"
 
Yeah, dad's home, and that means he's drunk and ready to throw fists, but I'm
not about to tell Levi that. "No, it's fine."
 
He scoffs loudly and rolls those incredible gray eyes. "You're a god fucking
awful liar."
 
"Fine, dad's home and that means he's drunk. It's no big deal." I wish I could
tell him how much of a big deal it really is, but I can't. I can't trust
everyone.
 
"Eren, do you want to stay with me tonight?"
 
The question knocks the breath out of my lungs as I try to find my words again.
What is he doing? Does he mean that? Is he just trying to take advantage of me
like everyone else does? He doesn't seem like the type of person to be
interested in someone like me...it'd be like a god loving a mouse. "A-are you
sure? Don't you need to ask your paren-"
 
"I live alone," he says quickly, before I even finish my sentence. "You have
about ten seconds to make up your shitty mind."
 
I can't pass up an opportunity like this. No dad for tonight. "Yeah, I'll stay
with you," I say, probably a little to excitedly. Levi sighs and suddenly
floors it, ripping the brake and doing a 180 in the middle of the street. I
grab his arm before I know what I'm doing, and as soon as I realize it I let
go. "Uh...sorry, Levi."
 
"It's fine," he says dryly before turning toward the good side of town. I look
down at my hand, the hand that was just holding onto the most firm forearm I've
ever had the pleasure of accidentally grabbing. I feel dizzy, like I'm drunk,
and I don't pay any attention to where we're driving. I just can't stop
thinking about his soft skin on the palm of my hand.
 
"Out you go, brat," Levi says firmly, and it snaps me back into reality. We're
in a four car garage, a perfectly spotless four car garage, and Levi is getting
out of the Corvette like it's normal. This can't be his house.
 
"Here...you live here?"
 
"Tch, come on," he says with an exaggerated eye roll. I didn't even realize I
asked that out loud. "You look like you're going to shit yourself. Off with the
shoes before you go in."
 
I obey, taking off my ratty old Doc Martens before he opens the door to go
inside for me. I have to physically stop my jaw from dropping. This is a
beautiful house, sparkling tile floors in the kitchen compliment the
almost Victorian looking cabinetry, all dark and ornate. Glittering counter
tops hold top-of-the-line appliances, all black, all immaculate. 
 
As we continue through the house, I notice that everything is that way.
Immaculate. Not a single speck of dust that I can see anywhere. The decor is
beautiful, dark imagery of the typical high society vampire is the first thing
that comes to mind. Obviously real, original paintings of death and beautiful
girls litter the walls, blood red roses sit beautifully in vases on the tables.
The rugs we passed over on the way to the staircase felt more comfortable than
my bed does. 
 
We went up not one, but two floors before he stopped and opened a door. It was
to a bedroom that looked more like a fancy hotel room than a room in an 18-
year-old's house. "You can stay in here...is this okay?," he asks.
 
"Yeah, of course. It's beautiful," I say sincerely. This room stays with the
dark theme of the house, with it's flowers and sparkly floors, complete with a
painting of a mutilated corpse of a man covered in hibiscus flowers.
 
"I'll bring you some sweatpants to sleep in, okay?"
 
"Yeah, thank you." He leaves and disappears down the hallway to my right. I
just take a second to absorb what's happening. This perfect, gorgeous boy lives
alone in this picturesque mansion and for some reason he let me stay here. I'm
not sure what I did to deserve this, but thank god for it.
 
He returns and tosses a pair of dark gray sweatpants at me, and I don't catch
them. I bent over to pick them up, and there isn't even dust under the bed.
When I stand back up, I see Levi's eyes dart away from me. Weird. "You house is
so clean, Levi!"
 
"Touch of OCD, brat," he says dryly, like it isn't weird at all to him that his
house is perfectly spotless. "I'm going downstairs to make something to eat,
you can join me if you'd like."
 
Food. I haven't thought about food in probably two days. "Are...are you sure?"
 
"Fucking hell, Eren," he bit in frustration, "I wouldn't have said it if I
wasn't sure. Come on." He reaches over and grabs my arm, and physically pulls
me down the stairs to the kitchen. I guess he could tell I was going to refuse.
Smart boy.
 
His soft hand feels nice on my skin, and his grip is so gentle, gentle enough
that I know he's trying really hard not to hurt me. I smile a little to myself.
There's a soft side to Levi Ackerman.
 
When we get to the kitchen, he motions for me to sit at a ridiculously ornate
barstool tucked under the island. "I don't eat meat, so I'm sorry that I don't
have any."
 
"Oh, it's fine...I don't either." I watch him closely as he opens his cabinets
and pulls out various ingredients, they seem to be alphabetized in the shelves,
and starts cooking. It's strange to see him like this.
 
He's wearing a tight black shirt and a pair of dark wash jeans that hug his
delicious muscles perfectly, with his piercings and scowl, making dinner. It is
almost unnatural to be honest. He just seems like someone who would eat
microwave ramen and live in a single person flat. He is mesmerizing to watch,
like one of the chefs on the food channel. 
 
He slices strawberries and the fruit stains the tips of his pallid fingers a
nice shade of red, and all I can think about is licking it off. Making a trail
of strawberry down his bare chest. Down farther.
 
I cut myself off mid-fantasy and feel my cheeks catch on fire. What the hell is
happening to me? I don't get crushes, then here comes this perfectly gorgeous
asshole to fuck it all up. "Oi, Eren?"
 
"Yeah?," I say shyly, trying to hide the fact I'm so flustered.
 
"Can I ask you something?"
 
"Uh, sure," I say warily. I think I know what it's going to be. Why I didn't
want to go home.
 
"How long has it been since you've eaten?," he asks gently, like he knows it's
a sore spot. He finishes what he's making, and now I see that it's strawberry
and cream crepes. He puts the plate in front of me, then puts his down on the
other side of the island.
 
"Um...probably the day before yesterday, but I'm not sure," I say sincerely. In
all honesty it's probably been longer.
 
He sighs heavily and slides me a fork. "Why haven't you eaten today?"
 
"Oh, I just forget easily," I lie, and I know he knows, but he just nods and
starts eating. I decide to follow, and when the crepe touches my tongue I let
out an involuntary moan. "God, Levi...this is amazing."
 
"Thanks, brat," he says flatly as he finishes his. He made twice as many for
me, and I finish every bite. They were delicious, and to be honest I could have
eaten more. Levi took my dishes and loaded them into his massive dishwasher
before turning to face me and leaning over the island, close enough to make me
blush. "I'm exhausted. I'm going to turn in. Help yourself to the fridge and
the TV, stay up as long as you'd like, and if you need me my room is two doors
to the right of yours."
 
I smile a little, not really meaning to. He just wants to take care of me. No
sex favors, nothing. Just kindness. He's shown me a side that, just this
morning, I didn't think he could possibly have. "Thank you, Levi. For
everything."
 
"Don't mention it," he says flatly, then turns and heads for the stairs. "Sleep
well, shitty brat."
 
"You too, Levi," I say quietly as he disappears up the stairs. This has been
one of the weirdest days of my entire life. I decide to go upstairs and see if
I can find some Neosporin for my cuts in the bathroom that's joined to my room,
apparently every bedroom in this house has a private bath. I make the trip up
the stairs, and all of this still feels to surreal.
 
I start to wonder how he can afford to live here on his own, and what the
fenced-in back yard looks like, and what his favorite color is...wait, what?
I'm just getting it worse and worse for him, even though I just met him.
Something about those gray eyes that are only kind to me is making me crazy.
Lucky doesn't even begin to describe what I feel right now.
 
I get into my bedroom and go into the bathroom, which I haven't gotten a good
look at yet, and my jaw almost drops again. The bathroom is gorgeous,
everything is solid black except a massive quartz bathtub that seems to glow
against the lack of color. If anything, Levi has amazing taste. I open the
medicine cabinet, and there was not much in there other than ibuprofen and
bandaids.
 
I decide to go ask Levi for some, the last thing I need is a cut to get
infected. I quietly walk down the hallway, two doors to the right, and knock
lightly, but the door wasn't latched and it opened on it's own. Levi is sitting
on his bed, in nothing but some tight black boxer briefs, with a syringe sunk
to the plastic in his thigh. "Are you diabetic or something?"
 
He looks at me with an expression I'd never seen from him before, almost a
scared, pleading one. "No, I'm not," he says, quite calmly for the look on his
face. "Can I trust you to keep a secret for me?"
 
I just look at him for a second. What could have him so afraid? "Of course I
can, Levi."
 
He sighs heavily. "Are you familiar with the word transgender?"
 
"Oh, sure!," I begin, "it's when someone has the brain of the gender that
doesn't match their body...right?"
 
"Right," he says firmly, then takes a really deep breath. "I'm transgender." My
mouth falls open, I can't help it. This perfect god, the literal picture of
masculinity, was born biologically female? "What?," he asks nervously.
 
"I..it's just that I never would have guessed," I started, still dumbstruck by
what I'm hearing. He pulls the long needle out of his thigh and motions for me
to come over to him.
 
I comply, and he holds out his hand. I open mine, and he drops a tiny vial into
it. "This is testosterone. I have to shoot this shit up once a week."
 
I turn it over and over in my hand, then look back at the needle. "Oh
wow...that's so cool! I don't think I'd ever be brave enough to give myself a
shot," I say shyly as I hand back the vial.
 
"You get used to it," he said dryly, like being a human pincushion is no big
deal. "See this?," he asks as he points at his perfectly sculpted chest, and I
notice two big scars running under his pecs. "That's from my surgery."
 
I lean in closer to look, and for some reason all I want to do it touch them,
like my fingers can make his skin forget the pain it's been through to get
where he is now. I hover my hand over his skin. "Can I?"
 
"Sure, brat." I gently trail my fingers over the raised pink line, and I can
only imagine how much this hurt. His muscles are spectacular, not like anyone
I've ever seen his age.
 
I find myself letting my hand wander from the scar, and I quickly pull it back.
"...sorry."
 
"You're fine," he says gently. "Anything else you want to know?"
 
"No, I'm sure you'll tell me more when you feel comfortable," I say sincerely,
and he looks relieved. "I came up here to ask for some Neosporin, if you have
any."
 
"You hurt yourself, kid?," he asks, almost sweetly, as he stands up and heads
toward his bathroom.
 
"No, not today...I just need it for a little cut from a few days ago." He looks
back at me, and I know he knows I'm hiding something. He's very perceptive like
that, has been since the beginning. He disappears into his bathroom and I take
the time to look at his room.
 
It stuck with the theme of the house, but it was definitely the most well
thought out. Every little detail was gorgeous, right down to the lighting,
which was a mixture of white and blue. I run a hand over his duvet, and the
silky fabric felt heavenly. He really goes all out for everything. "Brat."
 
He's returned, but he puts the ointment behind his back. "Are you going to give
it to me?"
 
"Not yet," he bites playfully. "You know my biggest secret, so you're going to
tell me what the fuck your dad does when he's drunk. I'll know if you lie,
you're shit at it.
 
I think for a second, and I see no danger in telling him. His intuition would
figure it out eventually anyway. I know his secret. "Fine, but this stays
between us, right?" That cocky asshole nods slowly and winks, and I feel my
face absolutely catch on fire. I shake my head and clear my thoughts. "He...he
gets kinda...angry. He used to only take it out on my sister, and of course I'd
try to stop him...but now that she's moved in with her girlfriend he does it to
me..."
 
"He does what, Eren?," he asks gently, and I sigh. Here goes. I unzip my hoodie
and let it fall to the floor, then pull my shirt over my head. I let it drop to
the floor and shiver at the air on my bare skin. Levi's eyes fly open and he
clenches his fists at his sides, the darkest expression I've ever seen crossing
his face. "L-Levi? Are you okay?"
 
"Yeah, I'm fucking fine," he hisses, and I instinctively back up a step. His
demeanor changes in an instant, and he lets a very small smile cross his
perfect pink lips. "Here, let me help you." He uncaps the ointment and takes a
few steps to close the distance between us, and I fight the urge to back away.
He's so incredibly gorgeous, commanding and intimidating, doting and
sweet...he's a huge mishmash of qualities that make no sense together.
 
It makes him so hard to read, and it scares me. That fear dissolves as he
kneels in front of me and a gentle finger applies ointment to my cuts, each one
so carefully, like he thinks I'm just a spider's thread from breaking. His eyes
dart all over my torso, and it honestly makes me feel self conscious, but the
look on his face isn't one I'm used to. It's not disgust, it's admiration, and
it's fucking beautiful on him. "There...that's better."
 
I blush as he stands and hands me my shirt and jacket. "Thanks, Levi...for
everything today."
 
He scoffs and rolls those amazing eyes. "Eren, shut the fuck up," he bites. "I
did it because I wanted to. Now go to bed, we have school tomorrow."
 
"Okay...goodnight," I say quietly, and a small smile forms on his lips.
 
"Night, brat."
***** That Fucker Winked At Me *****
Chapter Notes
     Before I'm bitched at, yeah, I know their relationship is moving
     fast. Get over it. ;)
     Thanks for reading, guys!
     (French is from Google, it's just for effect. I do not speak French.
     Lol.)
I fling my eyes open and feel the hot, sticky tears on my cheeks. Dammit, this
has to happen today of all days. The day I'm at Levi's house. I pull the duvet
up to my chest and try to breathe, slow and deep like Mikasa always says to,
but nothing is working. I know I'm still crying like a bitch, and I know that
it's just a matter of time before Levi se- "Fucking hell, are you okay?"
 
"G-goddamnit," I bite quietly, averting my eyes from his concerned ones. I
catch my head in my hands and wipe the tears off my scorching cheeks as I try
to stop new ones from falling. "Yeah, I'm sorry."
 
He looks at me and slowly walks over to the edge of the bed, sitting down
gently next to me. His hair is wet and he's shirtless, obviously I interrupted
his morning routine. Damnit. "What's wrong, Eren?"
 
"It...it was just a dream, Levi...j-just a dream," I stammer out, and nervously
pick at the corner of the sheet covering my still trembling body. This is
nothing short of another nightmare. Levi smiles, ever so slightly, and takes
the sheet from my shaky hands, tangling his fingers into my own. I feel my face
catch on fire and quickly turn away, but he lets go of one of my hands and
catches my chin. "Levi, quit!," I squeal, and giggle involuntarily.
 
"Not a chance," he practically purrs, resting a hand on my cheek and wiping
away the tears. I know I must be blood red, but this is one of the most
enjoyable moments I've ever experienced. "Do you want to talk about it?"
 
"Yeah, but not right now," I sigh, leaning into his soft hand. His palm is cold
compared to my face, and I just want him to leave it there forever. Nothing has
ever felt so right. "I'll tell you after school, if that's okay..."
 
"That's perfectly fine, brat," he says gently, "now go get your ass in the
shower." He lets go of my hand and my cheek, and I couldn't bear it. Not just
yet. I fling myself onto him, wrapping my arms around his small but dense body.
He stiffens, and I almost panic, but just as fast he relaxes and locks his arms
behind the small of my back. The entire world stops, just for a moment, and
there's really nothing wrong. I forget dad exists. Forget mom is dead. All I
know is his gentle but strong embrace.
 
Of course, this moment too has to pass, and I loosen my grip a little. "Thank
you, Levi."
 
He looks at me with one eyebrow cocked. "What for?"
 
"For being there for me when no one else was."
 
He quickly averts his gaze, thinking I didn't see the tiniest of stunning
orchid pink blushes form on his perfectly snow white skin. I did. It was
breathtaking. "No problem kid, get in the fucking shower," he bites quickly
before rushing off to his room and closing the door. I do exactly as I'm told
and get in the spacious shower that falls in the quartz tub, and the hot water
running over my now healing body felt heavenly. Today was definitely on my top
five list of best days of my life.
 
I can't help but wonder if Levi is actually gay, or just nervous from the hug.
I'm hoping with everything in my being that he is, because I know I've already
fallen for him. I know because I never fall for anyone, I don't get 'crushes,'
this feeling of infatuation is very foreign to me. It's only happened once
before, right after Jean and I got past the 'frenemy' stage, but it was never
this intense. Not even close.
 
That thought scares me. Will this end up like Jean? Someone who'll just want to
fuck me and leave me, emotionally open and cold? There was a time when Jean was
everything I had to look forward to, and now I dread even thinking his name. My
breath catches in my throat as I try and will away those thoughts. This is
different.
 
No one, and I mean no one, has ever offered me this. My own sister doesn't even
invite me over to visit, much less stay the night. I think I remind her too
much of what she went through, with her birth parents dying, mom dying, and dad
abusing her. I guess I look too much like them and my presence tastes like
something she'd rather forget. Not that she doesn't speak to me, she does, but
it's usually a passing 'make sure you brush your teeth' or 'redo that math quiz
you failed.' She isn't my confidant like she used to be, or my protector.
 
I wash up with the shampoo and soap in the shower, and no doubt it's the same
kind Levi uses, expensive and deliciously scented. The whole house is relaxing,
and this room is no exception. The walls are an off-black, and the shower has
it's own dim, comfortable lighting. The counters are sparkling black marble and
the tiles match, everything glittering clean and beautiful. It's definitely a
house fit for someone equally as beautiful, though I can't figure out how he
could possibly afford all of this.
 
I finish up my shower and dry with a snow while, super plush towel and slip on
my jeans and hoodie from yesterday before heading downstairs.
 
Levi is sitting at the island, drinking what could be black coffee or black
tea, holding his cup by the rim instead of the handle. He hasn't noticed me
yet. "Why do you hold your cup like that?"
 
He jumps a little, then his eyes settle on me. I see the gray diamonds dart
over my exposed torso, letting themselves linger on the hem of my jeans. "It's
a habit. Food's next to the stove, what do you want to drink?"
 
I walk around the island to the plate on the counter. "Um...do you have orange
juice?"
 
"Sure thing, bra-"
 
"LEVI!," I accidentally shout with my mouth full. "These are so fucking good!"
I've definitely never had a cinnamon roll this good. Every bite was chewy and
covered in drippy icing and full of cinnamon sugar. He just smirks and hands me
a big glass of juice. "Did you like...make make these? Like from scratch?"
 
He rolls his eyes and clicks his tongue. "Yes, brat, I made made them. I
figured you'd like something sweet, since you had a shitty night and all."
 
I couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corners of my mouth. "You did this
for me? Levi...that's so nice but you didn't ha-"
 
"Oi," he bit, "shut the fuck up. I did it because I wanted to."
 
I just let the grin spread across my face. "Thanks, weirdo."
 
"Hurry it up, we need to go grab your clothes. Your shitty fucking dad gonna be
home?," he spits in disgust.
 
"No he shouldn't be," I say shyly. I feel like I'm taking advantage of Levi,
like he thinks he needs to be so nice so I'll keep his secret, but I'd never
tell anyone. He's a man, just a man like any other man, but more perfectly
gorgeous and kind. "Hey...wait."
 
He turns back to face me, thin brow cocked curiously. "Yes?"
 
"I'm not going to tell anyone about last night...I promise, You don't have to
bribe me with delicious cinnamon rolls."
 
He scoffs and turns back around, walking over to the island and dumping his
stuff on the barstool. He turns to me, resting his hands gently on my
shoulders, making my body shiver...with want or fear, I can't tell. "Eren, I
want you to fucking listen to me, okay?," he bites, and all I can do is nod. "I
didn't have to tell you," he says, much more gently this time.
 
"I could have let you assume it was insulin or heroin...or whatever else you
could have fucking come up with, but I didn't. I told you the truth because I
wanted to, okay? I fucking trust you. This wasn't a bribe, this was an attempt
to cheer you up, shithead."
 
I let out the breath I'd been holding. "Wait...really?"
 
He rolls those incredible eyes. "Tch. Yes, stupid, now let's go. We're gonna be
fucking late. I put my number in your phone, text me if horsey pulls his shit
again."
 
...
 
I walk into the building, Levi following closely behind. I was right, dad
hadn't been home, and the clothes retrieval had gone very smoothly. I am
looking forward to Ms. Zoe's class, and for some reason I can tell that Levi is
too. He follows me to the same seats as yesterday, groaning as he sits down,
and I smile. So grumpy.
 
I pull out my notes from yesterday, making sure to review every single bullet.
I have to get a scholarship. I have to move away from dad. Ms. Zoe always made
her lectures so interesting that I rarely forgot anything, and yesterday's was
no exception. She's a happy psychopath, one that I'm immensely grateful for.
She's tutored me countless times in every subject, made sure I had a way home,
paid for my field trips (after a lot of protesting from me,) and even went so
far as to knit me like 20 beanies. She was 'afraid my head would get cold.'
 
If there's anyone in the universe that I trust completely, it's her. I feel the
smile creep across my face when she barges in, almost late, and throws her
papers down on her desk. "Okay, my little victims, I have some...rather
unfortunate news," she says, leaning dramatically against her desk, clutching
her chest. "You are required to take...A PRETEST!" She feigns fainting back
into her seat.
 
I see Levi scoff and roll his eyes, but a ghost of a smile plays on his
delicious-looking lips. "Don't worry, babies, it isn't for a grade...it's just
for me to see where you stand right now." She prances around the room, like a
dancing fairy, plopping the test papers down on everyone's desk. When she
reaches Levi she winks at him, and he scoffs again, immediately diving into the
test. Weird.
 
I get mine, determined to do my best despite it not being graded. I need to
know what I have to improve on. I begin, and honestly I don't really know most
of the answers, but I try my best to use reason to find the right one. The math
type questions I am hopeless on, and I know Ms. Zoe is gonna have to help me
later, but I still try. I hear Levi stand, and my mouth drops open. There's no
way he was able to answer 60 questions and an essay question that fast.
 
I watch him walk to Ms. Zoe's desk and put the paper down, and she whispered
something to him, which earned her an eye roll as he walked back to his seat. I
refocus, trying my damnedest to figure out the math problems, and I found that
my pencil had wandered into my mouth. Embarrassing. I look over at Levi to see
if he caught me.
 
He did.
 
He did, and that fucker winked at me.
 
I gasp and I know my face turned blood red, so I bury it back into the test. It
is tedious, but I do my best, and when I reach the essay question I almost
freak. 
 
Essay: Explain transgenderism and tell me your opinion of it. We will be
discussing this in class at a later date.
 
I glance over at Levi, who is staring off into nothing, and I wonder if he told
her. Knowing her she guessed, she's a genius, way too smart to be teaching high
school.
 
Being trans is when your gender identity doesn't match your biological sex. I
only know one transperson, and I only recently met him, but he's just like any
other guy, except better. If he wouldn't have told me I never would have known.
He's actually one of the nicest people I've ever met, and being trans is just a
part of his life, not his entire identity. People should be able to be their
true selves. Always.
 
I think that's good enough. I turn my test in and return to my seat, only for a
few minutes before the bell rings. Levi immediately goes to a chair next to Ms.
Zoe's desk, giving me a small wave as I leave. Weird.
 
I walk to my next class, English honors on the second floor, overlooking the
small courtyard behind the school. I love sitting next to the window in this
class, there's a pair of squirrels that live in a tree out there that are fun
to watch. I'm good at English, so I have no real need to pay close attention. I
just watch the squirrels.
 
Mr. Pixis starts talking about properly forming paragraphs, something that
people in their senior year of high school really should already know, and I
wait for the squirrels. Today they never come.
 
But Levi and Ms. Zoe do.
 
He is walking next to her, lighting a cigarette and inhaling deeply. They stop
near the tree, her turning to face him. I can tell that they're talking, and by
the way she's acting I can tell she likes Levi. That makes me smile to myself.
Levi might not be the most personable individual to exist, but Ms. Zoe is good
at reading people, and I'm sure she sees right past his tough guy act. Into his
beautiful heart.
 
I see her grab his cheeks, and I can only imagine the string of swear words
coming from him right now. He bats her hand away, then rubs at the stubble of
his undercut, seemingly nervously. He finished his cigarette and flicks the
butt on the ground, stomping it out with the heel of his boot.
 
She grabs his arm, and he swats her hand away again as she laughs hysterically.
It makes me happy that they get along so well. It's like Levi is fitting
perfectly into every part of my life thus far. She grabs him by his shirt
sleeve and drags him back into the building. Again, I'm sure he's spewing a
very colorful string of explicatives. 
 
Finally I find a pair of ducks to stare at, and the class drags by a little
quicker. I can't help but wonder what they're talking about, but I'm sure Levi
will tell me later. I'm the only person he speaks to, to my knowledge, and I
hope to god he keeps talking to me. My heart aches at the possibility that he
might get tired of me. I try not to think of it.
 
The bell rings, and I drag myself to PE class. I fucking hate PE, my body is
always sore, running and situps don't help that. I hate changing in front of
everyone, so I usually use the outdoor shed attached to the fieldhouse to
change, it has no lock. I duck inside, and right as I start to lift
my mutilated shirt off (I like cutting the sleeves off thrift store finds) I
hear a voice.
 
"So, this is where you run off to, Jaeger."
 
It's Jean.
 
I'm so, so fucked.
 
Before I know what's happening, he's got one of my arms behind me and a hand
over my mouth. I know exactly what's about to happen, and I fumble with my
phone in my pocket as he drags me into the fieldhouse, which is unlocked for
some reason. I finally manage to get it out of my pocket, and I frantically
look for Levi's contact. I have no idea what else to do.
 
Thankfully I am able to hit 'call' before Jean throws me on the ground and
locks the door, and my phone drops to the floor, but I see that the screen is
still lit. There's some hope. I feel his foot collide with my face, the left
side, and I whimper in pain. He just smiles and pulls me to my knees by my
hair, punching me one good time in the mouth. I taste blood. "You...you need to
stop...I don'"
 
"Jaeger," he growls, "your fucking midget watchdog isn't here now...you don't
get to tell me to stop."
 
I panic, and blurt the first thing that comes to mind, hoping that Levi is
listening on the other side of the phone. He's my only hope. "He'll find me,
and he'll fucking kick your ass!"
 
Jean rolls his eyes, and it makes my stomach turn. "Oh, so he's going to
fucking stumble into the fieldhouse in the middle of the day?" He's trapped
himself. If Levi is listening, now he knows where we are. Exactly what I want.
"Okay, whatever you say...now, you had better open your fucking mouth, and if
you bite I'll mess up that pretty face even more."
 
I start hyperventallating, I can't help it. He yanks my hair, hard enough to
make me yelp through ragged breaths, then takes his other hand and slowly
unzips his jeans. Right as he pops the button off, the loudest bang of my life
startles me into shock. My vision goes blank, and I can hear sounds, sounds
that sounds like they're miles away. Nothing seems real.
 
I vaguely sense that I'm no longer sitting on my knees, and whatever is under
me is warm...and something warm is around me. All of a sudden I'm aware of the
situation, and I sob into the warmth I'm leaning against. I become aware of a
hand gently carding through my hair, and I finally smell who it is.
 
Levi. He really did come for me.
 
"Levi...what happened?," Mr. Pixis' familiar voice says, and I feel Levi tense
up.
 
"There's an unconscious kid in there, you might want to call a fucking
ambulance," Levi deadpans. I hear Mr. Pixis run into the building. "Eren...are
you okay? Did he do anything to you?"
 
His words are so soft and gentle, like being safe and sound no matter where you
are. "L-Levi...you c-came f-f-for me...," I manage to sob out.
 
"Fuck, Eren, of course I did," he chided. "Thank god you were able to call me.
Just relax now, you're safe, I'm not going anywhere," he whispers, wrapping me
up in his ridiculously strong arms. I cry into his shoulder, I can't stop it,
but they're happy tears now.
 
I'm in love.
 
"Okay, now you definitely have some explaining to do, Ackerman," Mr. Pixis'
voice says firmly.
 
"He was about to sexually assault Eren. I got here and he already had his
fucking pants undone," Levi bit, and if he wasn't holding me like a baby I'd
probably be afraid. He's intimidating when he's pissed. "I didn't have much
choice, did I?" Levi is shaking slightly, but still gently tracing shapes on my
back. "Now, if you could politely fuck off so I can make sure he's okay, I'd
really fucking appreciate it."
 
"You can't talk to me li-"
 
"Shut up, Dot," another voice says, one I recognize to be Mr. Smith. "My name
is Erwin Smith, we haven't met yet. I'm the principal here." He kneels and
extends a hand to Levi, who refuses to let go of me. He drops his hand. "Go
stay with the kid in there," he says to Mr. Pixis. "Do you think Eren could
tell us what happened?"
 
I look at Levi, who I know is about to explode on him, so I cut him off before
he can. "M-Mr. Smith...Jean...he d-dragged me in there bef-fore gym...I knew
what he was g-going to do so I c-called Levi...he came before he was able
to...to..," I lose the sentence in a sob, and Levi gingerly pulls my head back
against his chest. The soft, slow thuds of his heart lull me into comfort
again.
 
"Eren, shhh, it's okay...are you done upsetting him, asshole?," Levi spit, one
hand slipping under the back of my shirt to gently drag his nails over my back.
It feels so good, good enough that I can stop crying completely.
 
"Yes, I'm finished. I'm sorry I upset him again," Mr. Smith said sincerely.
"You two should go home...Levi, I'm not expelling you for this, but I do have
to punish you. How about you pay for the door you obliterated and we call it
even?"
 
I pull away from his chest and look at the door, metal bent severely in the
center and hinges ripped from the wall. Did he fucking kick it in?! "Fine. I'm
taking him with me, so don't call his fucking dad."
 
"I won't, don't worry," he says, then winks at Levi. Weird. Levi nods and the
blond giant goes into the fieldhouse. I hear the screams of the ambulance
getting closer.
 
"Hey, Eren...ready to go to my house?" I nod, finally making eye contact with
the perfect creature I'm sitting on. He gives me a small smile and lifts me to
my feet, but I'm still shaking. "Just put your arm around my shoulders, you
can't walk on your own." I comply, and a very strong arm wraps around my waist.
He did 90% of the work walking to the car, but he's not even close to being out
of breath. He opens my door and gently sits me down, even going so far as to
put my belt on for me.
 
...
 
We arrive at Levi's around 11:30, and I was immediately carried to the bedroom
I stayed in last night. He had given me fresh clothes and cleaned up my face,
and now I'm holding ice on my swollen lip. I know I'm only a second away from
another wave of tears, and Levi's just sitting on the edge of my bed, staring
at me. I ignore him, because I don't want him to see me like this. "Eren," he
says gently. "Do you want me to make you something to eat?"
 
I finally look up at him, and when his eyes meet mine, three tiny tears fell
from his own. "Levi...are you crying?"
 
"Fucking hell," he bites. "Eren, I'm so, so sorry."
 
"Wait, why are you sorry?" I am utterly confused, and seeing him cry is a
traumatic experience in itself.
 
"I wasn't fast enough...I let him hurt you," he says, normally rock-steady
voice wavering, like he was seconds from breaking completely.
 
I toss my ice pack aside and crawl over to him. "Levi, please don't blame
yourself. You saved me." I situate myself behind him and wrap my arms around
his trim waist. "I would have been raped if you didn't come when you did. It
made all the difference."
 
As quickly as the tears came, his composure returns, and he wipes the stray
ones from his perfect alabaster cheeks. "I'm just glad you're okay, brat. Let
me make you lunch, okay? After that we need to talk about something serious."
 
My heart stops. "Is something wrong?"
 
"No, nothing is wrong," he says, then squeezes one of my arms wrapped around
him. "Just a talk. Now let me go, you need to eat." I take my arms back, and he
stands and runs his hands through my hair before disappearing into the hallway.
 
What could he possibly want to talk about? Maybe whatever he and Ms. Zoe were
talking about earlier. Maybe he's going to tell me I've overstayed my welcome.
Maybe he's in love with me too. So many possibilities race through my head that
it makes me dizzy and I have to lay back down. I decide to just rest, let
everything be peaceful while it can. The ice pack stings my lip, but I know if
I don't stop it from swelling that it'll be the size of a baseball tomorrow.
 
I know I drift off into sleep a few times, but the last one I was woken by my
name being shouted from downstairs. Levi's voice is a relief to my ears, the
deafening silence had been driving me insane. I put the ice pack on the
nightstand and stagger down the stairs, only fully waking up on the last 4 or
so, honestly astounded that I hadn't tripped.
 
Levi is leaning against the counter, and a bowl of weird looking orange liquid
is sitting on the island. I take a seat on a barstool. "Here, brat," Levi says
curtly as he slides the bowl and a spoon over to me.
 
I stare at the bowl, then back up at Levi as I try to fight another wave of
tears. "Are...are you angry with me?"
 
He immediately fixes his expression. "Of course not, Eren," he says sweetly.
"Why would I be?"
 
"You just seem...off."
 
"I've been crying," he says shamefully, looking down at the floor instead of
me. "I haven't cried in fucking years. It's just a weird feeling. I'm
definitely not mad at you, brat."
 
I sigh and accept that, it was obviously hard for him to admit. I take the
spoon and put a little of the weird orange soup in my mouth. It. Is. Delicious.
I think butternut squash. I eat it, quickly, abandoning the spoon in favor of
just drinking it directly out of the bowl. It's too good to just play around in
with a spoon. "That was amazing, Levi," I beam sincerely, and a small smile
finds his lips. "What did you wanna talk about?"
 
"Do you know what emancipation is?"
 
I cock my head to the side. "Sure, I've looked it up loads of times. It's hard
to do. Why are you asking?"
 
He sighs. "If I told you I could make it happen, would you want that?"
 
My eyes fly open as I stare at him. "I mean, hypothetically yes, but you can't
possibl-"
 
"Eren, I can," he interjects. "I wouldn't ever lie to you...do you want that?"
 
I sigh. "I want that so badly, but I have no job and no place to li-"
 
"Here. You'll live here," he says firmly, eyes never leaving me, hands steady,
voice calm. He's serious.
 
"Levi, I can't do that." As much as I want to. "This is your home."
 
"Eren," he starts, walking over and taking the seat next to me, and
surprisingly taking my hands into his own. "I want you to do this. I can't
fucking stand the thought of you being afraid in your own home. You deserve to
live somewhere that makes you feel safe."
 
"Why are you doing all of this for me?" The questions slips before I can stop
it, but I guess that means I wanted to know. Badly. This makes no sense.
 
He looks down at our hands for what seems like a hundred years before he
speaks. "I don't think I can answer that."
 
"Is it pity? Because I don't need your fucking pity," I spit, taking back my
hands as I feel the anger boil up in me. "You do fucking realize that
I've dealt with it for over a goddamn year now and I don't need the fucking
charity brigade swooping in to save me so they'll feel like they did something
fucking good, right?"
 
The second the words left my lips I regretted them.
 
Levi's face fell, and tears that hadn't even been forming before fall over his
now flushed cheeks. I small whimper leaves his lips. "I...I just want to make
you safe."
 
Oh god I fucked up so bad. Why do I always fucking do this? "Oh god, Levi...I'm
so sorry, I didn't mean to snap like that-"
 
"No, it's fucking fine," he bites, cutting me off. "I need to go to the store
and pick up some more Advil for you, I'll be back." He walks out the door
before I can even form a sentence, and I fall apart in the floor of his
kitchen.
 
Why do I do this?
 
He is here, offering me everything I've dreamed of for a whole year...a safe
home, a hot meal when I come home from school, a bed without holes in the
sheets and springs poking me. 
 
And I managed to fuck it all up.
 
Nothing in the whole world has ever been more beautiful than him, all the time,
whether he's playing soccer or crying at my bedside, I find everything about
him perfect. I know that I'm not worth this kindness. Maybe that's why I
snapped, because I know I don't deserve this.
 
I just sit in the floor, slumping into a fetal position as I let all the tears
I have leave, then try to cry more but fail. I practically exhaust myself
before deciding what I have to do.
 
I have to apologize with everything in me, because I'm irrevocably in love with
Levi Ackerman.
 
I spend the next hour worrying, hoping he's going to give me a second chance
that I don't deserve, and the second I hear the door open I bolt from the couch
to the entryway. He yells for me that he's back, but I know, and I throw myself
on him the second I see him. "Oi, brat. The fuck are you doing?"
 
"I really fucked up. I'm so, so sorry," I plead, and I feel him chuckle against
me as he returns the hug. "I would love to be emancipated and stay here, but I
have a condition."
 
He wiggles away from my death grip and carries a few bags to the kitchen.
"Which is?"
 
"I want to have a job and help pay the bills," I say confidently, and he
chuckles sarcastically.
 
"It's not like I'm fucking scraping by here," he deadpans, putting away a box
of cereal.
 
I groan. "How can you even afford all of this anyway?"
 
He lets out a heavy sigh, turning and walking to sit at the counter. "You need
to sit down and I'll explain everything. No one, and I mean not one single
fucking human being alive knows all of what I'm about to tell you." He looks up
at me with those same pleading eyes as when I found out he is trans. "I'd
appreciate it if you would tell anyone."
 
"Of course," I say happily. "You can trust me, Levi." I sit next to him.
 
"I'm not from here, I'm French. I lived in a really run-down ghetto there.
People think France is all fucking love magic and poodles, but it's like any
other fucking country, it has it's shitholes." Levi clears his throat. "I lived
with my mother, and she tried her best to give me everything I needed.
Unfortunately she died when I was nine, and some man found me and took me in.
He told me that he was my mother's brother. Well, years later he went missing,
and the paper ran a story calling him 'Kenny the Ripper.' I read it, and
apparently he had killed over 100 people...men, women, children even...and he
was the head of a huge criminal organization."
 
I just gawk at him. "Oh, shit."
 
"Oh shit is right," he sighs. "I was 13 when he went missing, and the
authorities told me he was probably dead. I was glad he was, he treated me like
shit anyway. They told me I was the only known kin, and I inherited quite a
fucking bit of money...about 2.6 million." My eyes widen and my mouth falls
open, I'm not able to control it. "I medically transitioned later that year,
and moved here the next. I invested all the money in rental properties, here
and in Paris, and I make around 500,000 a year from that. This is a very
fucking modest living arrangement for what I could afford."
 
"Fuck," I whisper to myself.
 
"...so you don't need to worry about that, brat."
 
"But I wanna help!," I groan. "Even if it doesn't really help...I can't just
freeload here forever." I shoot my absolute best puppy face at him, and I can
literally see him melt.
 
It is gorgeous. "Yeah, yeah, fine...whatever makes you fucking happy, you
little shit," he groans.
 
I smile, thanking whatever god there is that I didn't fuck up any worse.
"So...you're French? Like you speak French and everything?"
 
He rolls those goddamn amazing eyes and clicks his tongue. "Oui, vous putain
morveux stupide, le plus souvent des gens qui sont français parlez français,"
he purrs, and I feel my face catch on fire. "What, brat?
 
"It...it's weird to hear you speak another language...you have a really low,
soothing voice," I say sheepishly, letting my hair fall in my blood red face.
 
"Is that so? Je vais dire ce que vous voulez que je si je vais voir ce petit
visage mignon devient rouge," he purrs, and I have to bite my finger
to suppress a giggle. I know I'm about three more delicious French words from
popping a boner. "Vous êtes mignons alors putain. You need to take some
ibuprofen, your lip is swelled." He hands me the pills.
 
And there it is. My boner. I shift in my seat so it's at least partially
concealed. "C-can I have some juice?" Oh god, this is embarrassing as hell. I
shouldn't be so turned on my a few damn words. Levi smirks and walks over to
the fridge, grabbing a bottle of my favorite apple juice, like he read my mind,
and slides across the table. "...thanks."
 
"Pas de problème, des trucs mignons. I gotta go do some work, okay? You know
where everything is, go entertain yourself."
 
...
 
After taking a shower to deal with my issue, I slide back into my sweats and
quietly walk down the stairs. Levi's in his study, a room I've never seen
before, and I hear him groan pretty loudly. I walk up to the door. "Levi?"
 
After a short pause, he answers. "Come in."
 
"Are you okay?," I ask as I open the door, then take a second to observe my new
surroundings. This is a beautiful room, his desk is huge and obviously very
organized, bookshelves stuffed to capacity lined the walls, and a large piano
sits in the corner.
 
"I'm fucking fine, brat."
 
"I just thought I heard you groan or somet-"
 
"I bit my tongue," he says, way too quickly. Lie.
 
I can tell he doesn't want to talk to me, so I look down at my feet. "Oh...I'm
sorry, I'll leave you alone." 
 
I turn and grab the door handle. "No, Eren," he bites, and I turn around.
"Wait."
 
"Yeah?"
 
"I...I wanna take you somewhere."
 
My heart starts beating fast, and I feel a smile creep across my face. "Where?"
 
"I guess you'll find out when we fucking get there, won't you? Go change."
 
...
 
Levi drove us to a parking lot near a baseball field, and we are just getting
out of the car. He motions for me to follow him, and I do. We walk toward the
woods, and Levi goes in, seemingly knowing exactly where he's going. I pestered
him for about 5 minutes, asking where we were going, but he remained silent and
I gave up.
 
The walk was beautiful, and Levi was even more beautiful still. His movements
entrance me, they always do, he's so fucking strong but still so damn graceful.
He never looses his footing, even though I do 100 times before we reach the
edge of the woods.
 
I can tell why he loves it here.
 
The land drops off into the lake, what had to be a 50 ft vertical drop from
where we were. The sun is sitting low in the sky, painting the water with broad
strokes of reds and yellows. Levi sits on the edge, haphazardly swinging his
legs over the cliff, so they were dangling dangerously over the edge. "Levi,
this is beautiful!"
 
"No shit, come sit down," he says dryly, and I laugh. He's so weird. I
carefully put my feet over the edge. "Scared of heights, brat?"
 
"No, not really...I'd just rather not get wet today," I retort, still laughing.
"Do you come here often?"
 
"Yeah. It's nice."
 
I groan out loud. "You are a man of very few words, Levi. It's pretty fucking
vexing at times...trying to figure out what's going on in that head of yours."
 
He raises a thin brow. "You do know you can fucking ask, right?"
 
"I'd really rather not," I say shyly, turning away from him. I do not want to
ask if he's gay. I want to know more than anything, but I don't wanna ask.
 
"C'mon, brat, ne pas perdre vos nerfs sur moi, êtes-vous?"
 
I flush and punch his arm. "That's not fair, asshole!"
 
"What isn't fair? En utilisant mes pouvoirs maléfiques pour faire ces belles
joues deviennent roses?" I feel my blush spread across my entire face.
 
"Levi, stop! You asshole! Fine...I'll ask. Are...are you...gay?," I squeak out,
and immediately regret it. I feel my face burn and I cover it with my hands,
unable to control the blush or my nervous giggles.
 
Levi quirks an eyebrow, smirk plastered on his face, and turns to face me,
pulling one foot back onto the ground and turning his body toward me. "I'll
answer that, but you have to tell me why the fuck you wanna know first," he
bites back playfully.
 
"Just wondering," I groan through my hands.
 
"I don't fucking buy that, kid," he says as he pulls my hand away from my face,
revealing a blushing mess. "Tell me the truth."
 
"Well...I...I just want to...shit, I can't do this," I stammer out before I
break into nervous giggles, pulling my arm free and hiding my face again.
 
"Just want to...? Come on, brat, you gotta tell me now," he purrs, nudging my
shoulder, bringing on another fit of giggles.
 
"I kinda want to...kiss you," I managed to squeak out before I scoot at least a
foot away, getting overtaken by fucking giggles again, like a fucking 13 year
old girl.
 
Levi rolls his eyes. "That wasn't so fucking hard, was it? I'm like you, bi."
 
I peek out from between my fingers, looking over at the beautiful, cocky,
smirking devil sitting next to me. "Are...you not going to say
anything...about, you know...the thing I said?"
 
"I just assumed we were going to kiss, brat," he says dryly, like he didn't
just fuck up my entire world. I gasp loudly, dropping my hands from my beet red
face. "What? Changed your mind?"
 
"No..I'm just...surpr-"
 
"Will you shut the fuck up and get over here?," Levi spits as he pulls me over
to him, right into his fucking perfect arms. He takes my chin in his hand,
lifting my still flushed face to his. His eyes are kind and gentle, and the
very faintest of blushes graces his alabaster skin. His hand finds it's way to
my cheek, and finally his lips find mine. I melt entirely in his stupidly
strong arms.
 
I am in complete bliss, electricity shooting all over my body at the touch of
the raven-haired god-on-earth. He licks my bottom lip, and I immediately let
him in. A gentle dance ensues, both tongues politely fighting for control of
the kiss. I feel every nerve ending in my body ignite, and it feels so fucking
right. He tastes like heaven and hell at the same time, sweet but tantalizingly
sexy. I find myself tangling my hand into his amazing, soft locks, using them
to pull him closer. He sucks gently on my lower lip, pulling back and breaking
the kiss. "Well, satisfied Jaeger?"
 
"Hah...yeah. That was pretty fucking good," I say, breathless. Levi just smirks
and pulls me closer. "It's getting dark."
 
"So it is. Let's go home."
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