Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/10571037.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Radiohead_(Band)
  Relationship:
      Ed_O'Brien/Thom_Yorke, ThEd
  Character:
      Ed_O'Brien, Thom_Yorke
  Additional Tags:
      Drug_Use, Underage_Sex, Friendship, lolz, Smut
  Stats:
      Published: 2009-10-22 Words: 2214
****** Ed Has the Best Ideas ******
by IT_GIRL_RH
Summary
     Thom and Ed like to get high and watch porn. Sometimes naughty hi-
     jinks ensue.
Notes
     October 22nd, 2009
They were in Ed’s room again. It had become a regular weekly thing with the two
of them. They’d watch one of Ed’s dirty movies and wank. Sometimes they’d race
to see who could make himself come first. It had been going on a couple of
months. It was just their thing. They made a pact the first time it happened
not to tell anyone about it, because maybe everybody wouldn’t understand even
though it was just run of the mill regular old teenaged boy stuff.
Ed and Thom both leaned back against Ed’s headboard, completely spent and not
paying any attention to the porn flick playing on the TV anymore. That’s how it
usually went. They’d get off, listen to some music and Thom would wander off
home at some point when he’d started to sober up enough to sneak past his folks
without raising a red flag. They were both bobbing along now on a lazy sea of
pot and booze and post-orgasm bliss. Ed lit up another spliff and passed it to
Thom. Thom regarded the spliff with some hazy curiosity. He was already pretty
well done in, maybe he should stop. Nah. He put it to his lips and inhaled
deeply closing his eyes and leaning back. He knew he really shouldn’t try to
keep up with Ed’s ingestion of controlled substances, but his damned
competitive nature took over every single time.
Ed watched and smiled with approval. “Hey. You wanna listen to some music now?”
“Yeah.” Thom blinked at him. “Yeah.”
Ed tucked himself back into his pants. He got up and turned off the telly and
VCR. He walked over to the stereo and after some very serious consideration,
slipped in a mixed tape and pressed play. He sauntered back to bed and joined
Thom. Thom handed him the spliff and Ed took a long hit.
Thom giggled. “That movie sucked! Where did you get it?”
“I’ll never reveal my sources, Yorke.” He tried to look serious but broke into
a laugh after just half a minute.
“I liked the one last week better. The one with the… the…” Thom lost his train
of thought. He giggled.
Ed looked thoughtful. “The one with the sorority girls?” He handed the joint
back to Thom.
“Yeah. Lots of breasts.” He took another toke and held his breath. “Fucking
brilliant.” He coughed and handed the spliff back to Ed and waved his hand in
the air indicating that he was done with it.
Ed took another long drag and stared off at the wall.
Thom started singing with the REM song that was playing. He forgot the words
and giggled.
“Wait.” Ed suddenly announced, turning towards Thom. “I just had a fucking
brilliant idea.”
Thom looked at Ed. Ed always had good ideas.
“You know how we watch porn and wank?” Thom didn’t respond so Ed looked at him
harder.
Thom felt like he should say something. “Yeah.”
“It’s good, right?”
“Yeah.”
“But it’s not as good as when a girl jerks you off, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, why is that?”
“Yeah.”
“What?”
“I said 'yeah'.”
“Why did you say 'yeah'?”
“Cuz you said…” Thom tried to remember. Then he tried to remember what he was
trying to remember. He giggled. Oh right! I’m so totally wasted. He giggled
again. He looked up and Ed was looking at him. Why was Ed looking at him?
“What?”
“What were we talking about?”
They both stared off and thought about it for a minute then gave up. They
looked at each other and giggled.
Ed stared back at the wall with his mouth open. Thom looked at Ed’s hand on the
bedspread. God! It’s huge! How does he hold a toothbrush? Thom was about to ask
him when Ed interrupted his train of thought. “Wanking!”
“Fucking!” Thom liked this game already. He giggled.
Ed ignored him and carried on. He was used to Thom being silly when he was lit.
“My idea. I was telling you about my idea.”
“Oh yeah! Your brilliant idea.” Thom was interested again. Ed always had good
ideas.
“We should wank... each other.”
“What?” Thom must have been even more stoned than he thought because there was
no way he heard that right.
Ed looked off into the distance. “Yeah. Fucking brilliant.” He nodded.
“What?” Thom said again even though he was pretty sure he’d just said it.
Ed looked at him with the practiced solemnity of a serious stoner. “Hear me
out, mate. See. You wank yourself and it’s great but you do it all of the time.
You already know what to expect. No element of surprise. That’s not as good.
But if we do each other… it’s all a surprise.” Ed nodded at Thom and Thom
automatically nodded back even though he wasn’t convinced. After a moment of
nodding at each other, Ed started and his face lit up with another brilliant
point. “Aaaand we’re both guys so we both know what to do with a cock already.
We’ve already had lots and lots of practice. See? It’s brilliant.”
Thom opened his mouth to disagree but that last point actually was pretty damn
brilliant. So he shut his mouth and let Ed continue.
“If we’re both just sitting here wanking in front of the porno anyway… we might
as well give it a go. I mean, I’ve watched you. I know you have good
technique.”
“I do practice a lot.”
“See!?” Ed slapped his thigh like Thom had made a good point. “Exactly.”
That made Thom happy.
Suddenly, Ed looked sad. “Hm. Could be weird though. I mean, we’re mates and
all.” Ed quirked his mouth to one side.
Thom was bummed. He was just starting to get on board with the idea. “It was
weird when we started wanking together but we got over it and now we like it.
Sometimes we even race and stuff. C'mon, what says best mates more that racing
to see who gets off first while watching porn together?” Thom said with some
conviction.
Ed regarded Thom thoughtfully. He shook a finger at Thom and Thom watched Ed’s
finger and giggled. “That is a very good point, Thom. I guess, we owe it to
each other to give it a try. At least.”
“Yeah!” Thom was pleased that Ed was pleased with him. “So when do we try it?
Next week?”
“Naw, let’s just try it now. If we wait we’ll get all nervous and tense. I hate
wanking when I’m all nervous and tense.”
Thom nodded. “But…” He looked sadly down at his flaccid penis which he’d never
put away after their porn-fueled wank-fest. “I’m not hard anymore.” He looked
up at Ed. “You should have thought of this sooner.”
“Can’t you get an erection again? I mean, I’m a walking boner. I can get hard
like that!” He tried to snap his fingers but it didn’t work. He looked at his
hand and tried a couple of more times without success. “Fuck! I’m broke!” He
looked up at Thom.
Thom was still looking sadly down at his flaccid cock. “I just shot my load.
I’m not gonna be able to get hard for a while.” He looked at Ed and stuck out
his bottom lip in a pout.
“Oh wait! No problem. I’ll just suck you off!” Ed said and started to climb
over to Thom’s lap.
“Wait! What?!” Thom could not have heard that right
Ed paused and seemed confused by Thom’s lack of enthusiasm. “What? Some head
will get you hard, right.”
“Well… Yeah! But YOU can’t do that!”
“Well, you can’t suck yourself off mate. Believe me, I’ve tried.”
“Hell! If I could do that I’d never leave the fucking house.”
“Here! Here!” They gave each other a high five.
“Wow. That would be fucking great though.” Thom said, his eyes wandering off.
“Yeah.” Ed said, his eyes wandering off.
They both started to giggle. They looked at each other and giggled more.
A minute or ten later, Ed had positioned himself between Thom’s legs and was
about to take Thom’s cock into his mouth.
When Thom realized what he was doing, Thom threw both palms into the air and
gaped at Ed. “Hey! What are you doing?” Thom said a little louder than was
necessary.
“What? I’m gonna suck you hard so we can wank, right?”
“No!”
“No? Why not?” Ed looked confused.
Thom opened his mouth. “I...” Thom couldn’t remember why not. He closed his
mouth and looked down at Ed.
Ed was staring at Thom’s cock. Thom looked at his penis poking out of his
boxers. It looked so sad and dejected lying there. He felt sorry for it.
“Are you hard?” Thom asked.
“Yeah.” Ed answered, flipping his hand up as if to say 'of course'. Thom wished
he was hard too.
They both looked at Thom’s penis. "Ok. I’ll do it and if you don’t like it I’ll
stop. How about that?” Ed said looking up at Thom.
Thom nodded noncommittally. Before he finished, Ed scooped up his penis into
his mouth and started going to town.
Thom was completely taken off guard and screamed out. “Oh! Ed! Oh! Fuck! Oh!
Ed! Oh! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” He threw his head into the headboard with a loud
bang and his body arched up so much Ed had to pull him back down. He continued
to scream out those three words in a random litany like one long word for the
next ten minutes.
Ed’s mouth was really nice. He seemed to have a natural talent for this. In no
time at all, Thom came in a long, hard spurt. It surprised Ed but he swallowed
it down like a champ. Swallowing is always far superior to spitting in Ed’s
book.
He wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve and looked up at Thom. Thom had
his head covered with Ed’s pillow. He was breathing heavily in a boneless heap.
Ed felt proud of himself. He patted his own shoulder and grinned.
“You all right there, Thom?”
“Yes.” Came the muffled reply.
Ed sat back on his heels and looked around for a cigarette. He patted his
pockets and his chest though he didn’t actually have pockets on his chest at
the moment. He spotted the smokes on the nightstand and leaned over Thom
reaching for them.
Thom snatched the pillow away from his face and looked at Ed “Ed.” He said
accusingly.
Ed stopped mid-reach wondering if he should look guilty for something. “Yeah?”
“You made me come.” Thom said accusingly.
“Yeah.”
“You were supposed to get me hard so we could wank each other!”
Realization spilled over Ed’s face and he let himself fall back onto the bed,
half lying on Thom’s legs. “Oh fuck! Yeah right.” He shook his head and
sheepishly peeked at Thom, looking truly contrite. “I’m sorry, mate. I forgot.”
Thom opened his mouth to say something when he caught sight of Ed’s flaccid
cock hanging out of his jeans and the crumple tissue in Ed’s hand. “Hey! Did
you wank while you were sucking me off?” Thom felt suddenly used. But he
decided he kind of liked it.
Ed followed his eyes down and suddenly looked guilty. He tried to hide the
tissue under his hip. “Oh. Well…” He looked up at Thom and laughed. “Yeah,
well, I couldn’t help it! You were moaning like a fucking whore!”
“You were sucking my cock!” Thom yelled and startled himself. He covered his
mouth with his hand and looked around nervously before breaking into a fit of
giggles.
Ed rolled back over and started to position himself between Thom’s legs again.
“Whatcha doin’ down there, Ed?" Thom sing-songed at him.
“Well, I guess I’ll have to suck you off again if we’re going to wank.” Ed
blinked up at him with a serious expression.
“Ed! There’s NO WAY I can get hard again. Forget it man! You blew it!” Thom
thought about what he just said and burst into laughter. “Blew it! You blew
it.”
“I did! I fucking totally blew it!” Ed laughed back.
They giggled for a several minutes. Every time one of them would stop, the
other one would get him going again.
Finally Ed stopped and didn’t start again. Thom looked down and Ed was looking
up at him from just below his cock with an evil grin.
“A tenner says I can get you hard again.” Ed said with challenge sparkling in
his eyes.
Thom always found it hard to tamp down him competitive spirit, but at this
point, he was spent. He was pretty sure another blow job would kill him. He was
just about to laugh off Ed’s bet when a little voice in the back of his head
spoke up (it sounded suspiciously like the voice his cock used when it was
trying to talk him into doing all matter of stupid things). Thomas little-
e Yorke! It admonished. Are you seriously considering turning down a blowjob?
It’s a mouth! On your cock! A mouth ON YOUR COCK! Do not think about this. Just
say YES, you prat! He could never argue with that voice. It always made very
good points.
He grinned back at Ed. “You’re on!”
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