Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/11315862.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      Gen, M/M, F/M
  Fandom:
      Young_Justice_(Cartoon), Young_Justice_(Comics), Young_Justice_-_All
      Media_Types
  Relationship:
      kaldur'ahm/aquaman, Dick_Grayson/Bruce_Wayne, Aqualad_&_Aquaman, Mentors
      &_Proteges
  Character:
      Kaldur'ahm_(DCU), McCaffery_(Aquaman), Batman, Clark_Kent, Black_Manta,
      Aqualad, Green_Lantern, Black_Canary, Green_Arrow_-_Character, Red_Arrow,
      Roy_Harper, Dick_Grayson, Wally_West, Artemis_Crock, M'gann_M'orzz,
      Superboy, Kon-El_|_Conner_Kent, Mera_(DCU), shalaina, Calvin_Durham
  Additional Tags:
      Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kaldur-centric, Past_Rape/Non-con, Past_Child_Abuse,
      Past_Sexual_Abuse, Past_Underage, Underage_Rape/Non-con, Humiliation,
      Kadlur'ahm_deserves_better, Rape_Aftermath, Kaldur_in_the_army, Atlantean
      Army, Denial_of_Feelings, Mentors, mentors_&_proteges_-_Freeform, Father-
      Son_Relationship, Kaldur_needs_a_hug
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-06-27 Updated: 2018-01-06 Chapters: 10/? Words: 34788
****** Drowning Underwater ******
by Chephirah95
Summary
     Kaldura'ahm's darkest secret is brought to the light. The Atlantean
     Army is not all what it appears to be. With the help of his family
     and mentor he will get the healing he needs.
Notes
     Triggers: NONCON
      
     (Side Note: For anyone reading my story Bandaid Effect I am still
     working on it. I have half of the next chapter written.)
     Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice or any of its characters.
     PLEASE COMMENT & LEAVE KUDOS
See the end of the work for more notes
***** Chapter 1 *****
Chapter Summary
     Kaldura'ahm's darkest secret is brought to the light. The Atlantean
     Army is not all what it appears to be. With the help of his family
     and mentor he will get the healing he needs.
Chapter Notes
     I am currently fixing this story on here and on FF.net.
     I went back over this story and I can do much better. It seems rushed
     and not very thought out. I plan on fixing it chapter by chapter.
     The first chapter is slightly different. I want the story to feel
     more mature. I just hope I'm giving my best writing from now on.
     Triggers: NONCON
     Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice or any of its characters.
     PLEASE COMMENT & LEAVE KUDOS
See the end of the chapter for more notes
 
Kaldur'ahm's POV
 
The mission was an overall success. We located the enemies' base in record time
and gathered the intel we needed. There were a few difficulties, but nothing
too serious. There was a small scuffle, but we had experienced worse. In the
end, we got the job done.
We only called in backup from the Justice League because those were our orders:
To apprehend the Light's workers and secure their lab off of the island of Star
City. Everything was going much the same as any other night until we reached
Mt. Justice.
I was summoned to the briefing room, and based on the atmosphere, I could tell
I was not going to want to be here . Batman was standing across the room
looking at me. His face was stoic, but he was so focused on me that it appeared
he was looking past me. This was not unusual. The presence of my king, however,
was.
Aquaman was examining me strangely. He looked really confused. Really worried.
"Kaldur..." His voice failed him.
"Was the mission not a success?"
It is the only reason I could see that I was being called before my king. It
would explain why he seemed so nonplussed.
"In a manner of speaking." This came from Batman.
"I do not understand. This was a simple recon and apprehend mission. We have
done both. There were no casualties and only minor bruising on our side. We
were careful."
"Aqualad have a seat. We want to play you a recording from one of the men we
have in holding."
I tentatively took my seat. We were never let in on the interrogation part of
missions. That was reserved solely for the Justice League members. Unless I was
being initiated into the League effective immediately, this did not bode well
for me.
I froze when I saw who was on the screen.
Aware that they were gauging me for a response I attempted to look relaxed, but
I knew I had failed spectacularly. Aquaman looked like he was facing down the
biggest threat to his kingdom yet, and it would not surprise me if it were so.
I could be wrong.
This man. Dardanus. He abdicated the Atlantean army years ago and sided with
Black Manta. This could be what it was about. I just needed to regain my
composure. Batman looked a bit sympathetic. It was not so much his eyes, which
I could not see, but the way he tilted his head in my direction.
"What were you doing in Star City? Has Black Manta expanded his reach?"
No response.
"I am your King. Answer me!"
"You are no longer my king. The time for Kings and Queens are past. The victory
goes to those strong enough to take it." The venom in his voice was enough to
unnerve me.
"Manta tell you that? He may not call himself King, but that is where his true
intentions lie. You will not escape justice this day. He cannot even protect
you. And if he could, we both know he would not."
Laughter. Strange, queer, delusional laughter.
"He cannot protect me? You cannot protect your charge."
I stared blankly at the screen. Doing my best to remember to breathe.
"You do not even know. But how could you? Durahm is a good boy. He knows how to
keep a secret."
"What is the meaning of this cryptic message? Be clear or hold your tongue."
"He remembers. I bet he cannot forget. Did you know? You were not his first
mentor. In fact, I was. In the Atlantean army. He was a green boy then. Smart.
Lonely. Too lonely. Always lonely."
No one interrupted him.
I wished they had.
"He was so...special. He advanced so fast. He needed the extra attention so
that he could impress the board. He needed to keep his army grant. His parents
were struggling as it was you know. But Durahm...he was helping them really.
Less of a financial burden. So selfless."
Forget breathing. I did not need to breathe.
"He was so good. Ask him if he remembers me. Remembers us. We took him in. We
set him above the others. He was so talented. Barely ever cried. He was so
warm. So tight around my c-."
Aquaman had thrown the table over and was choking the man. Hitting him. Trying
to get him to stop talking. To stop spilling secrets. My secrets.
"Kaldur'ahm? A child? Have you no shame?"
Superman had appeared in front of the screen and was attempting to stop
Aquaman. And if Green Lantern had gotten in a few good kicks, and Batman a
combination of well placed punches to the gut, well...Superman could not be in
more than one place at a time.
"He needed it. He begged us for it." He was manic. Intent on revealing as much
as he could in a last show of rebellion.
I had enough. Tears were threatening to spill over. I stood up and pushed away
from the table.
"Please. I do not wish to see this. Please stop. Just...do not... I can not...
Stop the recording."
Batman swiftly stopped the tape.
"Aqualad-"
"No. No. No. No."
Aquaman sat me back down and kneeled in front of my vision.
"Kaldur'ahm. Please try to be calm. Breathe."
"Not this...Too much."
"It will be well Kaldur. We just need to ask you a few questions."
"No one was supposed to know. Ever. They promised me this." I was talking to
myself.
Batman came into my line of vision.
"Kaldur."
He never called me by my name.
"I need you to focus on my voice."
I wanted to be anywhere but here. As large as the room was, it was not nearly
big enough.
"We want to help you."
My face burned with embarrassment.
"I do not require this attention Batman. I have...healed long ago. I speak
truly on this matter."
It took him a second to understand what I was saying. He grimaced.
"I don't mean physically Kaldur. We want to --"
"That is not necessary. I will resign." I got up to exit.
Aquaman stopped me from leaving.
"We do not want you off of the team Kaldur. We only want to know what happened
so that we can help in the best way possible. You do not have to leave the
team."
"I cannot be a leader after... this."
"Kal-"
"I am compromised." Our eyes met and stayed locked onto each other.
"Aqualad. Please stay seated." Batman took over.
Aquaman just looked out of place.
"Do you want to tell us what happened?" Did I want to?
"No. I do not. Please do not ask this of me. It is better left alone. He is
apprehended. Let us leave it at that. Can this thing not be done?"
Aquaman made a strangled noise in his throat.
Aquaman's POV
He looked up at me with such innocent and desperate eyes. He wanted us to let
him keep this buried. I could not, in good conscience, allow that.
"Kaldur. I hope you know that I care for you. Not only as my protégé, but as a
son as well. Anything you tell me will not change our relationship."
He was the son I chose. He saved my life and I knew I could ask for no better.
None more loyal.
With this new revelation, I could not help but think of all the times he
insisted he was ok. Times that sleep eluded him. When he was more hurt from
training than he let on.
Sha'lain'a. Calvin. They would have to be told. I promised them that I would
protect their son. Mera would be so disappointed in me. For not knowing.
Not seeing.
Kaldur. He deserved a better mentor. Not one who took everything he said at
face value. But one who could see past the mask and into the true matter of
things.
Kaldur'ahm's POV
"I had to. I had to. I knew it was wrong, and it was my fault for letting it go
on for so long-"
They were both shaking their heads. Telling me that, no, it was not my fault.
That I was the innocent party here. That there was no guilt on my part.
Batman's POV
I wasn't surprised that Aquaman seemed lost for words. I don't know what I
would do if this ever happened to Dick.
It's why Clark is staying with the scumbag for the night. He was the only one
with enough self-control to not end his life tonight.
I'm glad we stopped the tape when we did. The man got more explicit the harder
we hit him.
I had read Kaldur's file. Helped make his file in fact.
The reality is, that he was a textbook victim as far as picking one went.
Lonely, he had said.
Lonely indeed. He had no friends except for two who he had only
met shortly before becoming Aqualad. His parents were poor and he was relying
on a grant to keep him in the Atlantean army school. They probably threatened
to kick him out if he didn't cooperate.
I can't name how many of the elite were caught abusing children under the guise
of philanthropy. I myself was under scrutiny when I made Dick my ward.
People saw that I was a playboy and jumped to the conclusion that because I was
single and taking in an underaged boy, that I must've been a pedophile.
They could not have been further from the truth.
We were going to have to be careful with Kaldur'ahm. He was known for his self-
sacrificing ways. He was already blaming himself.
I started the questions.
Kaldur's POV
"What is his name?" Before I could answer my king spoke in my stead.
"I do not think he knows that. In the Atlantean Army trainers are known by what
they teach and are assigned a number. It is to decrease the possibility of
playing favoritism based on where one comes from."
Batman looked a little surprised at this.
Aquaman would have normally been right, but I did know his name. Dardanus. I
knew all of their names. Dardanus, Arion, Kordax, and Topo.
"Nay my king. He told me. We were friends once I believe."
I did not know how to explain that they were not always monsters. That we used
to just talk about good things sometimes. We did not always
have secrets between us.
"Son. He led us to believe that there were more of them?"
He wanted to believe that this was not true. I could see it in his eyes. I
could not meet them anymore. I shamefully began to cry. He looked stricken.
"I do not want to do this." How could I make them understand?
His hand fell on my shoulder.
"It is okay Kaldur. They broke the rules. Not you."
"What will you do? If I tell you?" They shared a look.
"We have to notify your parents." Batman added in his opinion.
I could not allow this. No matter what. I could not allow it.
"You cannot. This would hurt them unnecessarily. I will tell you all. If you
would only promise to keep this between us."
I was desperate and not above begging. My parents would
blame themselves for my deceit.
Aquaman spoke quietly.
"We cannot do that Kaldur'ahm. Your parents deserve to know. Aside from that,
you are a minor under both Human and Atlantean law. I am bound by oath to tell
your parents. They will understand-"
I sobbed. There was nothing else to do. I could not persuade him. My darkest
secret was being aired out to two men I looked up to. They will think me weak.
"Please Annex Orin. I cannot tell them. I cannot."
He held me. I wished Batman would leave. He was making me anxious.
He must have read my mind because he left the room.
"Kaldur. Son. Please believe that I have your best interest at heart."
"If you tell them they will blame themselves. Please do not do this to them."
I was not very skilled in manipulation.
"Aqualad. I know your parents. They love you fiercely. There is nothing they
would not do for you. They will not turn you away or shun you. Do you believe
this?"
I just cried more. He hugged me tighter.
"I am afraid."
 
 
 

 
Chapter End Notes
     Please continue to leave comments
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Summary
     Flashback of Kaldur's time in the Atlantean Army.
     THIS CHAPTER IS NOW FIXED AND HAS MORE CHANGES THAN THE FIRST CHAPTER
     I FIXED.
Chapter Notes
     Sorry for all the Angst. It's hard to write Kaldur, but I wanted to
     give it a shot.
     PLEASE COMMENT & LEAVE KUDOS
     READ TAGS
See the end of the chapter for more notes
 
 
***FLASHBACK – Entire Chapter ***
Today is the day.
The Atlantean Army Corps was coming to Shayeris to round up the new volunteers.
They wore the special insignia that signified they were here for the 11 year
olds.
11 was the youngest you could be and join the army. We would not see real
battle for quite some time, but we would learn the history of Atlantis and how
to become efficient soldiers, generals, patrollers, and royal guards. Those of
us not inclined to defend would learn science and healing in body, mind, and
spirit.
My mother and father were not well off. I always wanted to study magic at an
academy, but we could not afford it. The army was the cheaper route and if I
worked hard enough, I could earn a grant that would allow me to study The Arts
free of charge.
My mother, Sha’lain’a, was a great sorceress. I knew she had desired to train
me in The Arts herself, but that was one of her conditions.
In order for her to stay in Atlantis after the rebellion, she was not allowed
to practice any heavy magic. By default, she was not allowed to teach me. And
she did not, teach me any spells that is, but she did give me tips on how to
make them more powerful, more potent, and more exact. How to breathe, where to
find the best materials, and ways to increase focus.
In order to make a living, she would sell healing potions. They did not require
magic, as much as they did the correct ingredients. We were not desolate, but
we relied heavily upon on her income.
It was hard enough for darkened Atlanteans to find substantial work, yet alone
a full human.
It was a tedious thing.
To most Atlanteans, the Sun is all but considered a myth. We are so deep
underwater that most had never saw it in person. Would never get the chance to.
Atlanteans that look like my mother and myself are considered cursed by the
Sun’s Kiss.
On top of that, there was the Curse of Kordax. He was an evil tyrant most noted
by his blonde hair. Children born with his hair coloring were also considered
cursed. Deformed somehow.
My mother and myself had both. Life was not easy.
My step-father Calvin was a good man. It was hard to imagine him a criminal in
any capacity. He was allowed to stay with my mother in exchange for ditching
the rebellion and handing over information. They never talk about it, but I got
the feeling that he would not be safe on the surface world. I know he misses
it. It was not unusual for him to enthrall me with stories of street vendors,
drive-ins, hot food, and the strangest of them all, showers!
There were humans that stood under a shower of water in order to clean
themselves. How singular. I secretly wanted to try one. 
Mother used to tell me I had a knack for magic, that it was literally flowing
through me. When I showed interest in The Arts, many were concerned that I
would follow after my mother and take up the Dark Arts. So when I enlisted in
the army, there were many who were already wary of me. The other children did
not take to me either.
Orientation went by quickly. Too quickly for some. They were sent home. If you
did not pass the orientation exams, you were not allowed to stay. You were
always welcomed to come back in a year. Some did. Most did not.
I got a perfect score. 
From there we were separated by scores into classes. Naturally that put me in
the top of my classes. It also made me a target. Your level was never permanent
though. It changed depending on your progress or lack thereof.
We were tested in everything from strength, tactics, and creativity, to
leadership, adaptability, and the ability to battle stress. Some of the things
we were not outright tested in were stealth, ambition, loyalty, and self-
preservation.
Our files were pretty thick from just a few weeks of exams, reports, and
instructors' remarks. As things went further along, our numbers dropped from
over 2,000 to slightly under 800. It brought each soldier under more scrutiny
than before.
It was hard work that would have been made more bearable by comrades. But I was
never the best at making friends. The army was no different. No one was overtly
hostile towards me, but I got strange looks, and people were not keen to
converse with me.
I did not mind. 
After all, one of the tenants of the army was strength in isolation. I believe
this is what garnered my instructor’s attention. I was taken into the guide’s
hall and the headmaster was waiting for me.
He was a big man. Hardened by battle.
“Kaldur’ahm of Shayeris. Have a seat.”
I was nervous. I knew I was not in any trouble, but I was worried that I would
be told to try and make other’s acquaintance. Too much separation was not a
good thing.
“Your file has been brought to my attention many times since your arrival.”
I waited with baited breath.
“It says here you are interested in magic, but willing to be a soldier. I have
looked over your results and you are progressing admirably. My concern is this:
you score high in the ability to lead, but low in ambition. Why do you think
that is?”
I took a few moments to gather my thoughts. I had no desire to be remembered as
the youth who stumbled over his words.
“Because I aim to be a soldier Great Elder. I have no designs on becoming a
general. A soldier’s duty is to follow, and a general’s to lead.”
He raised a brow.
“Very well put. Here is what we are suggesting to you. Your next courses will
be geared toward a General’s position. You will be tested and tried in battle
simulations, advanced tactics, ethics, and civic responsibility.”
I was not sure how to respond and told him as much.
“Young soldier, you will have a promising career in the military. Maybe even a
royal guard for Annex Orin. And if you should succeed there, you could surely
train in the Royal Academy of the Arts. There is no greater honor for a student
of Magic.”
“I would be honored Great Elder.”
When I got back to my room, which I shared with 19 others, I was quickly
surrounded. It was very different for me. I was not used to having so many
people vying for my attention.
“So what did he want?”
“Are you being sent home?”
“Do not be stupid. He is at the top of our class.”
“If he is being sent home, then I have no hope of ever graduating.”
“Are you being promoted?”
I was bombarded with question after question. Most were answered by other
people. They finally calmed down enough to actually listen.
“I am not being sent home. I was told that my work load would slightly
increase. Nothing more.”
I could tell they did not fully believe me, but no one was close enough to me
to push the issue. They had to take my word for it.
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
For the next two weeks I felt like I was getting little to no sleep. From the
time we were required to eat to the time we were required to sleep, I was
working. I had my normal work on top of my advanced classes.
I had papers, lectures, field training, debate, ethics, and meditation.
It was lonely.
I had no comrades and my work isolated me further from the others. The only
thing that changed was the level of respect I got.
 I was respected me from a distance, but no one was friendly to me.
It only made me have to work harder to keep that respect. It was a heavy burden
to bear with no one to help shoulder it.
I was grateful for our break. We all got to go home if we chose to.
Shayeris had not changed. I guess 7 months is not enough for a big change.
My parents were as supportive as ever.
I had come bearing good news.
“The army has taken charge of my expenses.”
They were both shocked. The army had only ever chosen 4 soldiers before me to
finance their education so soon into training.
We went out to celebrate. It was a buffet style restaurant. You go into a small
separate room and your table is filled with seafood. You eat right off of the
table. It is messy, and yet stimulating all the same.
My stay was not very long. My parent’s seemed disheartened that I had not
acquired any friends. They were proud of my accomplishments, but they did not
want me to be alone so much. Even at home I had no real friends. I knew a few
of the neighbors’ children, and they came by to ask me about the army, but that
was that. I had not met Tula or Garth until my final year in the army.
When I got back to base, I was surprised to find how much I missed home. I was
fine that morning. I guess seeing all of the other youths running around
sharing stories, complaining about their old friends who seemed
so childish now, whining about their nagging parents, and bragging about their
new gifts got to me.
I had no one to do any of those things with, and it hurt.
My countenance had fallen. I found myself going through the motions.
It took a week for everything to fall back into place. The class was down to
517. Some people went home and decided to stay. Being separated from your
family at such a young age is hard to do. Not everyone is capable of sticking
it out.
After winning a grant to continue in the army my parents had one less thing to
worry about. They sent me letters quite often. They got me through many hard
times.
I was managing until we started Battle Simulations.
Battle simulations were the hardest things I ever had to do. They were not
meant to be won, just to be learned from. It was difficult to grasp that I was
getting better when all I got was criticism from my instructors.
Improvement was no longer tangible.
I was really down about it. My superiors took notice and sent me to the mind
healers.
I stayed there for 3 days and was taught ways to cope with constructive
criticism. I was reminded several times that I was improving, that each battle
was testing something different. It was not about winning, but learning how to
make the best of all situations and adapting to changes. It gave my instructors
a peek into my head about how I would handle a real life battle.
With that knowledge, deep meditation, and a much needed break, I was back to my
daily program.
I returned to battle stimulations and poured myself into my studies with new
vigor. It was around my 8th month into the army that things really took a turn
for the worse.
It became apparent that I was not going to make any friends. Everyone was
already sectioned into groups. The best I could do was study groups and briefs
with my team after a mock battle, a debate, or a lecture.
It was not the same as having friends, but at least I was interacting with my
peers. For a few moments I was one of them.
I started to stand out more and more to my instructors and trainers. The
instructors were called by their respective titles and names. The trainers
however, were simply given numbers and titles. Such as Debate Formalities
Trainer 672. We never knew their names, and more importantly were they came
from.
It helped keep things unbiased by eliminating the commonality of home towns and
the like. Atlanteans were ethnically proud.
A few trainers began to take me under their wing. I thought this would breed
resentment in my peers, but it had not. They had all assumed I was being
trained for a General position by then and that all the attention was a part of
my work load.
It was not.
I should have noticed things were off. The trainers were attempting to fill the
friend position, not one of a mentor. I knew they should not be fraternizing
with me on such a personal level but I was so tired of being alone.
My own fault.
Debate Formalities Trainer 672, Morality of Ethics Trainer 323, History of
Atlantean Military Trainer 401, and Diplomatic Public Speaking Trainer 111
really spent a lot of time with me.
They gave me inside information on what the army was looking for if I wanted to
advance, I received extra tutelage in their subjects after class, I got
personalized help in my studies, and they would sneak me in treats from the
trainer’s mess hall.
I was basking in their attention. I wanted to be included in things outside of
my work and they were filling that need.
We got so familiar with each other that they broke one of the most important
rules and told me their names.
Kordax of Tritonian, Arion of Poseidonis, Dardanus of Merma, and Topo of Dyss.
I could see why it was a rule to keep your name to yourself. I was wary of Topo
since I learned he was from Dyss. Shayeris and Dyss had a civil war for 7 years
over territorial rights. Annex Orin claimed Shayeris the victor. I thought he
would hold a grudge against me, but he assured me he would not. He was an open
minded man who did not "hold a child accountable for the foolishness of
adults."
I felt comfortable with them and they took advantage of it. 
Dardanus was the most forthcoming. He told me that he wanted to go over one of
my essays about the Battle of Tyton from the era of Mermaids, and why my
outlook was too narrow to blame the people of Octopi for the majority of the
battle.
This was not unusual. I required little sleep and was more than eager to learn
of our history.
When I got there, we went over my paper. Halfway through arguing my side,
Dardanus slid awfully close to me. He laid his hand on my shoulder and talked
to me about the finer points of politics and financial sway over the crown. I
was uncomfortable for a short while but he seemed so engrossed in teaching me
that I looked past it.
I forgot about the hand.
Until he rubbed against my gills.
I hated when people tried to touch my gills. It was uncommon for non-fish like
Atlanteans to have gills. People saw them and wanted to touch them to see if
they were real. It was an extremely popular fad to have fake gills tattooed on.
I pushed away from him and stood up.
“Please refrain from doing that.”
He was quick to apologize and insisted that his hand had slipped. That it was
an accident. I believed him. Like an idiot I believed him. He talked with his
hands and often got animated about his subject. It was not hard to believe that
he got caught up in his story now.
I sat back down.
He did not put his hand back on my shoulder or neck, but they somehow found
their way to my knee. It was a platonic touch to be sure, but it felt heavy.
The conversation was stiff even though he attempted to revive it. I wanted to
leave but did not know how to without seeming rude.
I was not really listening anymore, but the sudden hand on my crotch shook me
out of my thoughts.
Before I could move away he was upon me. He was kissing my gills and rubbing
himself against me.
My heart clenched in fear. My throat closed up. I stayed still.
“Shhh. Durahm. This will not hurt. I do not endeavor to hurt you. I would
never.”
His hand slipped into my uniform and tears came to my eyes. His hand was on my
most private of parts. My parents gave me this talk. About good touches and bad
ones. They told me I could tell them anything. Never to be ashamed to ask for
help. To say no. Even though I knew all of this, I did nothing. I was frozen in
fear.
“Beautiful.”
He looked even more wild now. Atlantean’s do not typically have tear ducts. It
was rare to see someone cry. I found my voice.
“Elder Dardanus. Please stop. I do not want this.”
“You will learn to. Do not deny me this Durahm. Accept my gift please.”
He kept rubbing me and seemed frustrated when nothing happened.
“That is okay. It will happen later. You will learn to love this. You are just
too tense right now. Try to relax.”
I tried to push him off of me but he had me pinned and was much heavier than
me.
“Such beautiful skin. So dark. So soft. Do not cry.”
He started grunting and stopped rubbing against me.
“See. That did not hurt. It did not. You are fine. Stop with the tears now.”
He was hugging me awkwardly and I attempted to run.
He tightened his grip.
“Durahm you must not overreact. Did I hurt you?”
Spelled out Durahm has no meaning, but phonetically, Durahm means my heart. It
is why people tell me Kaldur instead. I was confused. I was not in physical
pain, but my heart was heavy.
I shook my head no.
“Exactly. I only did this because I thought you would enjoy it too. You seem so
lonely all of the time. I know how it is. I had a hard time making friends when
I was your age too. I just wanted to show you that someone cared. Okay?”
I was not so sure I believed him, but he sounded so sincere. And truthfully I
was not in any pain. I was more startled than anything.
“I did not like it. Can we refrain from doing that again?”
I wanted so badly for things to return to normal, but in my heart I knew they
would not.
Dardanus merely looked at me.
Before I knew it his lips were on mine. I stood still. Waiting to be let go.
“You will learn to like it Durahm.”
I am not sure what it says about me that I froze up. Remained incapacitated. It
appeared that Battle Simulations did not accurately reflect my ability to
handle stressful situations. 
I did not act quickly. I was frightened. Maybe ambition is not the only thing I
lacked. 
Chapter End Notes
     Feel free to take a look at my other works.
     PLEASE COMMENT & LEAVE KUDOS
     #YJS3
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Summary
     This chapter is a back and forth between mentor & protégé. Will
     Kaldur submit to telling his parents?
Chapter Notes
     Same warnings apply. Please read the tags.
     Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice or its characters.
     I worked really hard on this chapter. Switching between people is
     hard for me but here it is.
     THIS CHAPTER IS ALSO FIXED NOW
See the end of the chapter for more notes
 
 
***Present Day***
 
Batman’s POV
Hearing Kaldur’s cries outside of the door made everything that more real. For
one so young, Kaldur was known to put his feelings on the back burner. He
rarely smiled, hardly laughed, and was not prone to sharing his problems.
Aquaman was talking too low to make out words. I just hoped he could convinced
Kaldur to tell his parents. They would have to be told, but it would be easier
if Kaldur was on board.
This was a problem that would have to be dealt with properly. The Justice
League was not known for stepping in with personal problems unless it started
to affect the member's work, but this was different.
Kaldur’ahm, for all his polite gestures and mature characteristics, was still a
child. It is easy to ignore the fact that he's still so young. He has the most
restraint on the team and is the one they often turn to for advice. Whether
they knew they were doing it or not. Sometimes they asked him outright, but
other times they found him when he was training alone and subtly got his
attention. 
Even Dick has sought his counsel.
Dick.
I had to get to the cave. I text Alfred to let him know I might be late. I
needed time to think. I needed to talk to Dick to ease my own fears. I just had
to be careful not to give anything away.
This was Kaldur’s story to tell.
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Bruce. Not Batman. I needed to be Bruce right now. I walked into the Great Room
and found him watching a movie.
Without the mask and uniform, Dick looked his age. 13.
Just 13.
He was looking at me with those deep blue eyes. Despite everything he’s seen,
everything he’s done, he manages to still be optimistic.
“Hey Bruce.”
I grunt in acknowledgement. He doesn’t hold it against me. He never does.
“Is everything okay? Did you get the information you were looking for?” 
He wasn't really asking me I know. It was more of a formality than anything. He
wasn't even looking up at me. 
I didn’t want him asking questions about the interrogation so I just jumped to
what I wanted to talk to him about.
“Let’s sit down Dick.”
His demeanor changed in seconds. I was the one who taught him that. To stay on
guard, to be ready to fight whenever. I just wished it didn’t make him seem so
old. Kids shouldn’t be like that. He was only 13.
At 13 I was…well…I was a flirt. I had a new girlfriend every week, and I ran
Alfred up the walls with my attitude. I guess I could be screwing him up worse.
“I know this team is important to you. I know how loyal you are to the cause.
But if you ever need time to yourself. Time off. Time to work through things
let me know okay?”
“What’s this about?”
I knew he wouldn’t give me a simple answer.
“The job. Because that’s what it is. A job. You have the right to take off of
work sometimes.”
“But you said that-”
“I know. And that still holds true. There will always be crime. But you can’t
stop all of them.”
“Do you think I should take a break?”
He looked a little nervous. I held his stare.
“That’s not what I’m saying Dick. I just want you to know that it’s okay to
need a break. Everyone does.”
“Okaaaay.”
He was trying to read me. Understand what I was really trying to say. Usually
he was good at it, but tonight he couldn't have possibly guessed. 
“Dick. Richard. Listen. You can tell me anything. I don’t care how silly or
serious you think it is okay? I want you to know that I will always be in your
corner.”
I could tell he still wasn’t taking me seriously. He thought this was just
another sentimental Bruce moment. When I would tow the line between Batman
and sort-of father.
“Even if it embarrasses you?”
“Yes. I’ll get over it. And if you don’t feel comfortable telling me, tell
Alfred.”
He sat up straighter and just looked at me.
“Promise me Dick.”
“I promise.”
“Dick.”
“I promise. If I ever need help or am in trouble, I’ll tell you or Alfred.”
“Okay. That’s all I ask. Get some sleep.”
“But I thought we were going to patrol tonight.”
“I’m tired. Gotham will still be here tomorrow.”
 
Aquaman’s POV
Kaldur is refusing to make eye contact. It had been over an hour and he still
had not released the names. He continued vainly trying to force my hand into
not telling his parents. 
He is determined. It is one of the things that make him such an effective
soldier. But now his determination is misplaced.
“Kaldur’ahm. I cannot keep this from your parents. I know you may be feeling
shame” he dipped his head lower, “and fear, but your parents will be there for
you. They will want to know.”
He just shook his head.
I sat next to him.
It was taking a lot of will power to not command him to tell me. To tell him
that this was for his own good, but I did not want to send the wrong message.
I wanted him to trust me to help him.
“Kaldur. Will you at least tell me what happened?”
 
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
I have never kept anything from my parents except this.
They would not understand. They are good people. Too good.
They would blame themselves for not knowing. Even though I was careful to hide
the truth.
They would not dare entertain the thought that their precious son was the one
who let this thing go on.
The one who knew it was wrong and still did it anyways.
The one who did not want his parents to be burdened by a debt that was not
their own even though I knew they would gladly undertake it.
I know my king believes he would be helping me, but he would not.
I made him an offer. A generous one in my opinion. I would tell him everything,
even the most shameful parts, if he would only spare my parents.
 
Aquaman’s POV
“Kaldur'ahm. Anything you tell me will not be told to your team. But your
parents are another matter. I know you do not wish to hurt them, but they will
want to help you as much as we.”
His voice was low and steady when he replied.
“It has been years. I have been Aqualad for 3 years now. In all that time, no
one questioned my ability to lead or follow orders. No one worried that I was
not capable of handling myself. This was before anyone knew. If I was fine
then, I fail to see what help I could possibly need now.”
I was stricken.
We had stopped the tape, and so he does not know how much more was said.
He did not hear about the hands, the nightmares, the kisses, the humiliation,
the treachery.
The man said Kaldur would have night terrors. Night terrors so severe that the
mind healers thought it was due to some latent psychosis. For being introduced
to violence so young.
They were not completely wrong.
Kaldur did not hear the man describe how they would press his face to the ocean
floor and take turns on his prepubescent body. How they would not stop until he
pretended to like it and begged them to continue.
Kaldur did not hear about being forced to his knees in
the hallway where anyone could have happened by.
No. Kaldur needed to release these demons and heal completely. He needed to be
a person first, not a soldier.
I had to get him to tell me the truth.
I had to force him into a corner so to speak.
I spoke as steady as he had.
“Do you recall the night terrors? He said it was four of them” I had to do this
“he said he made you beg" this would help him in the end "Forced you to do
things you did not want. Made you-”
He began shaking his head. His eyes widened. His breath became shallow. He
clenched his hands into fists.
His voice was so low I had to scoot closer to hear.
“My king…these are things I do not wish to remember. Things I have put behind
be. I got better. I started eating again. The dreams stopped. I am better now.
I do not wish to remember. The things he said…They are true. I did
terrible shameful things.”
His voice was shaky and small. I made a mental note about him eating.
“So shameful. It is these parts, that I wish to keep from my parents. I cannot
tell them that I begged. I cannot tell them that… that…that sometimes it did
not hurt. It was okay.”
He was crying again. Just tears. No sobbing. No heaving. He was emotionally
drained.
“I can not go to them and tell them how many times I lied when they asked if I
was okay. If I was eating enough. If I was making friends. I cannot look at
them and let them know that their son was weak. That I knew they would help and
I still did not confide in them. They will feel a betrayal deeper than my
shame. I beg you Annex Orin-”
I put one hand on his shoulder and used the other one to tilt his head up.
“You do not need to beg me son. You never need to beg me. I understand. You do
not have to tell them everything. Maybe you will change your mind about that
one later, but they should know the basics. That is all I ask. No more. You do
not have to give…specifics.”
His resolve was broken.
 
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
There is so much that I have kept hidden. For good reason.
I did not tell him of the time Topo gave me a gill infection.
When he would take his pleasure from my mouth force me to swallow. His essence
would seep out of my gills and my throat always seemed like something was stuck
in it. There was buildup and I had to go to the healers for a week due to
breathing problems.
I did not tell him of the time Kordax used me just outside of the bunk rooms
while everyone slept.
He was forceful. I could not cry out. I was too close to my comrade-in-arms. If
they were to hear and walk out to see me being disgraced. I do not know how I
would have survived. I had trouble doing simple actions like sitting and combat
stretching. My stats fell that week.
I did not tell him of the time Arion dislocated my collar bone.
He had me on top. I hated that the most. I could not just sit still and wait
until it was over. I had to move. He would not let me sit looking away from
him. I had to straddle him. It always made me feel so young and vulnerable. My
feet never touched the ground. I was only 11 then. Almost a foot shorter than I
was currently.
 That particular day Arion was more energetic than usual. We were at his desk.
He left his office door open. He liked the possibility of being caught. He
pushed my neck back too hard and my collar bone hit the edge of the desk. It
shifted out of place. I tried to cry, but the pain made me pass out. He told
the healers my midnight training got rough.
I did not tell him of the time Dardanus had me crawl to him before offering my
mouth.
He pushed me to my knees. I was used to it by then. I made to remove his tunic,
but he stopped me and pushed me onto all fours. He told me to stay put. I did.
He went across the room and made me crawl to him. I counted the shells I
passed. Anything to take my mind off of this demeaning act. When I made it over
to him he pushed his way into my mouth and thanked me for being so good.
There were many things I did not say. Like the time Topo took me to his room
after a night terror and put his mouth on me. I was embarrassed. I hated to
think about that day.
There was a time Kordax found me after a particularly difficult ethics debate
that I lost and used his hand on me. He did not make me do anything back. 
There was the time Dardanus was gentle. He did not make me beg. He used
a lubricant first. I made shameful noises and he only thanked me for a good
time. 
There was the time Arion just kissed me. I told him I did not want to do
anything that day and he acquiesced.
How could I tell him of 4 years of abuse in one night?
What parts did I leave out?
Which parts were the most important?
It was these things I feared my parents finding out.
With the promise that I did not have to give specifics I told him we could tell
my parents.
“What if they ask questions? I do not wish to lie anymore.”
He just looked relieved that I was willing to tell them. In truth I had
believed that he would just command me to tell them. 
I would not have disobeyed. 
 
Aquaman’s POV
I was relieved. Kaldur had agreed to confide in his parents. That was a great
burden off of my shoulders. I did not wish to go against him in this. We needed
to be on the same page.
“What if they ask questions? I do not wish to lie anymore.”
This was a question I could answer.
“You do not have to lie Kaldur. There is a way to tell them and not go into
specifics. Set boundaries. Tell them that you do not wish to delve into
details, but that there is something you must tell them. They will understand.”
He slightly nodded his head.
“When?”
“We can wait a few days. You have been through a lot today. I want to see how
you sleep. We can zeta there in the night. We will not run into anyone except
the guards.”
He looked grateful. If someone stopped us they would want to know why we were
there. It was none of their business.
I would, of course, have to look into Shayeris’ army branch and see if there
were any other victims. I am most certain there are. I am not certain I will
tell Kaldur though. He would only blame himself.
“You have been very brave today Kaldur. You did not have to tell me these
things, but I am honored you consider me worthy enough to bear them.”
He managed to look at me.
“I have their names.”
He hesitated for a second and looked at me.
"Do you promise I will not have to reveal specifics?"
He looked his age just then. When he was silently gauging if I was being
serious about my earlier statements.
I would be there for him however he needed me.
Before he could change his mind I nodded my head in encouragement.
“Kordax of Tritonian, Arion of Poseidonis, Dardanus of Merma, and Topo of Dyss.
Dardanus is the one we have captured.”
I gave him a gentle smile. I am sure it was pitiful to behold. 
“Thank you Kaldur’ahm. You have been exceptional today. We should retire for
the night.”
“I do not believe I can sleep.”
He sounded embarrassed.
“That is fine. You do not have to force yourself. Just try. Your body needs
rest. You have no assignments tomorrow.”
 
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
As much as I wanted this talk to end, I knew the night terrors would come. It
had been years since I had one about my time in the army.
We got up to exit the briefing room.
I briefly wondered if I would ever see this room the same.
I was surprised Batman was not outside of the door. I was also very thankful.
Just as I predicted. The night terrors came.
Chapter End Notes
     Don’t forget to leave COMMENTS
***** Chapter 4 *****
Chapter Summary
     Kaldur doesn’t sleep so well. The League meet up for the first time
     since the incident.
     THIS CHAPTER IS ALSO NOW FIXED
Chapter Notes
     Same warnings apply. Please read the tags.
     Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice or its characters.
     I worked really hard on this chapter.
     PLEASE don’t forget to leave COMMENTS. They keep me going.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Kaldur'ahm's POV
I do not believe the appropriate word for what I have is dreams. They are
memories. Dark memories.
I slept in Aquaman's quarters on his couch.
He insisted I use his bed but I told him I was uncomfortable with that.
He got a sad look on his face and said he was only a room away if I needed him.
I would do my best to not need him.
I am here to help protect the surface-dwellers as well as aid my king. It would
not look right for me to seek solace over emotional phantoms.
Aquaman's POV
I offered Kaldur'ahm the use of my bed while I took the couch. I wanted him to
be comfortable. In hindsight, I should have known better. I should have
anticipated that he would not feel comfortable in another's bed.
While Kaldur retrieved his things, I sent Batman and Superman the information
he had given me. I let them know that Kaldur had agreed to consult with his
parents. I also added a footnote to ask them to covertly monitor his eating
habits.
I could not have him down trodden and malnourished.
Knowing my charge, he would try to sleep, and if unsuccessful he would opt to
stay awake. I planned on staying awake regardless. I wanted to be there if he
had need of me.
I would not fail him again.
Kaldur'ahm's POV- dream
Heat. Searing heat.
My gill infection had gotten worse. I attempted to hide it, but I began to lose
my voice. It was getting harder to eat and to breathe.
My gills were trying to filter water and it felt like I was only pulling in
air.
I was slowly drowning. Ironic.
The corners of my gills were crusted. If I picked at it, puss would form. I
tried to keep them clean but Topo made it nearly impossible.
It got so bad that one morning I awoke to half of my neck swollen. One of my
bunk mates called for the nearest trainer. He rushed me to the healers and our
bunk was quarantined. They thought it was contagious.
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In the healer's office I was given seaweed.
Any other time I would have gladly accepted it, but with a gill infection
seaweed burns. Severely.
"Because your condition is so advanced we will have to have you ingest the
seaweed and use wraps for the outside. We would usually let you choose, but in
your advanced state, you require both."
She was not unkind.
She made me drink two shots of pure seaweed extract. I could not enjoy the
taste for the burning.
She ground dried seaweed and added an antibacterial additive. She spread this
on wet seaweed strips and wrapped it around my neck.
The pain was unbearable.
I was coughing and trying to remove the wraps. An aide came in and they held me
down. I know this was for my own good but the pain.
It was unbearable.
I screamed. Or tried to. My throat would not cooperate. The buildup of Topo's
essence, they thought it was phlegm, fell away from the back of my throat and
made its way up my esophagus.
The choking was enough to make me wheeze.
One particularly hard cough made me scream in agony.
 
Aquaman's POV
Aqualad had fallen into a fitful sleep an hour ago. So far he only seemed
mildly bothered. When his breathing started to pick up I sat on the edge of my
bed. I wanted to wait to see if he would calm down on his own. No need to
embarrass him with my presence if he was not actually having a night terror.
"Aaaaaaaaah!"
Kaldur's screams sent me into a frenzy. I threw open the door and knelt beside
him. His webbed hands were clinging to the left side of his neck. I attempted
to shake him awake but he would not cooperate.
I tilted him up and got behind him. His head was on my shoulder. I rubbed his
back until he slowly came awake.
Even with his coloring I could see his cheeks get darker. It was not my
intention to disconcert him. I only wanted to help. He was not crying, but his
eyes were suspiciously red.
"Kaldur. Your neck. Is there something that ails you?"
He sat up a little and only shook his head.
"Bad dream?"
He nodded.
"Would you like to talk to me about it?"
"It is fine-"
He dropped his head in defeat.
"You can tell me whatever you like Kaldur. Or you can tell me nothing. I will
sit here until you want me to leave."
Kaldur'ahm's POV
The only time I have ever told anyone about my feelings was Black Canary, and
that was after the simulation.
I had a hard time that week. When Batman told us what we were going to be
doing, I wanted so badly to object, but in the end I could not.
The simulation ended poorly. Just like my old battle simulations had.
I told Black Canary only very little of what I was feeling. She was content and
I left it at that.
With Aquaman, it was harder to tell him anything. But if I could not even
tell him, I would certainly never be able to face my parents.
Be brave son.
How many times had my parents told me that? To be brave, face my problems head
on?
"My gills are fine. I was just reminded of when I had an infection years ago."
He just looked at me patiently.
I made myself not cry. I had cried enough for one night.
"My gills. Once I got an infection. It was painful. I dreamed about the seaweed
treatment."
"I see."
He sounded unsure. He could not tell if I was being truthful or not. That hurt
a little.
I wanted to lie but there was no point. He could see I was miserable.
"Topo. He..." I looked away "used my mouth."
I made myself continue.
"I was made to swallow. Some of it built up around the sides of my throat. I
got an infection in my gills as a result. It was painful. I could not talk. I
could not drink. I could not breathe. Sorry for waking you."
He pulled me into a hug.
I was not going to cry.
I was not going to cry.
Aquaman's POV
I am going to personally kill him. The law be damned.
I cannot erase the mental image of a scared and confused 11-year-old Kaldur.
Willing to die before he told anyone of his pain.
"It is alright. You did not wake me."
I just hugged him tighter. I gently swayed with him. It was not quite rocking.
I did this until his breathing slowed down.
"I will help you through this Kaldur. You do not have to do this alone. If you
ever have need of me do not hesitate to wake me. I am a light sleeper. It will
be nothing to get up."
He mumbled something.
"What is that?"
His voice was a bit firmer.
"How? How can I say these words to them? My mouth almost did not allow me to
speak them to you."
He did not need to tell me who them was.
"Say whatever comes to mind."
"Will you be there when I tell them? If I cannot...will you fill them in on the
rest?"
His eyes were pleading.
I was surprised that he wanted me there. I would have thought he would want to
do this alone. Me and his mother are on civil terms, but I am still the one who
qualified her use of magic.
She has not forgotten that. If I had not taken away her right to practice, she
would have more than likely trained Kaldur'ahm herself. In that case, he would
not have had to join the army. None of this would have ever happened.
But I would not let this stop me from helping Kaldur'ahm in the present.
"If you want me to be there I will. If you need me to tell them anything I will
do that too. Trust yourself Kaldur. You have a good head on your shoulders. You
will do fine. There is no one right way to go about this. Just comfort yourself
with the truth that your parents love you. Will you be okay for the night? Do
you need anything?"
He shook his head no. But he did ask me to leave the table lamp on. He insisted
he just needed time to think.
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Superman's POV
"Did he say anything else last night?"
This was from Batman.
I wanted to keep it to myself but that would help no one. Least of all Kaldur.
"He had more... stories to tell. They were very explicit. Very vulgar."
Everyone in the room looked sick. Aquaman, Black Canary, Green Lantern, Wonder
Woman, Flash and Batman.
Bang.
Aquaman beat his fists on the table.
"This man does not deserve to breathe the air in his lungs. Let me take him
back to Atlantis and be done with it."
"Arthur-" I tried to reason with him.
"No! You have no idea. You heard Dardanus say what he did, but you did not have
to console a child while he tried to insist that he was fine when he was
clearly not. This man will face justice. It will be swift and sure."
I did not try to object again. It is not that I think the man is innocent or
deserves mercy or anything, I just don't want anyone to get comfortable taking
the law into their own hands.
Green Lantern's POV
I wish I could have gotten the rotten bastard better than I did.
"I agree with Aquaman. He literally confessed. It's open and closed. He is
Atlantean. Let him handle it."
Black Canary's POV
Before anyone could agree or disagree with Green Lantern I stepped in.
"I have worked with Kaldur closely for months now. He has a tendency to take
blame for things out of his control. He will want this man to face justice, but
not outside of proper procedures."
Kaldur'ahm is a creature of rules, order, and balance.
"If we just send him to his death, which I would be completely okay with in
this case, he will be hurt. This is not about Dardanus or us. It is about
Kaldur. I caution you all to remember that."
That seemed to ease some of the tension in the room. Even Aquaman took a deep
breath.
Aquaman's POV
"The truth is: I do not believe I can be objective about this. The man is
certainly guilty, but Kaldur is like a son to me. I care not for this Dardanus'
life. At all."
Superman's POV
I cleared my throat.
"He said there was more than one of them. I know Kaldur verified this, but are
we going to go find these other men too? From what he had to say, another of
the men, Kordax, is also in Black Manta's ranks. How do we even go about
getting him?"
Aquaman's POV
"I had someone look into these men. Topo has been swiftly removed and given
false assignments to keep him unsuspecting. I have opened a private
investigation to see if there were any more...victims. The other, Arion, has
already retired. He resides in Poseidonis and comes from a family of wealth and
prestige. Their crimes are punishable by death."
Everyone just waited for me to continue.
"Arion will be harder to get. Politics. The crown is more than a little
indebted to Poseidonis. They have the highest amount of soldiers from their
homes. If we do not play this right, we could be looking at a civil war. He is
a well connected man and has the treasury behind him. We cannot simply
go get him. He is at the head of his clan and has been for 2 years now."
This was not met well.
Batman jumped in.
Batman's POV
Great. Politics. Money. The threat of war. All because one man had enough power
to make others in power turn away.
"I am familiar with politics. We can sit down later and form a plan. For now,
we should focus on Kaldur. How much of this do we let him in on?"
Aquaman sighed.
"I would say as much as he wants to be, but I do not believe he can handle it
right now. He did not sleep well last night. He refused food this morning. He
does not think he will be able to keep it down. We should tell him the basics.
If he asks anything more than that, we tell him."
That is sound reasoning.
Wonder Woman's POV
"I cannot wrap my head around this. I have seen child soldiers before, but was
no one looking after his well being?"
Aquaman looked offended.
"That is the problem. They are looked after. By the trainers. They have to go
through rigorous background checks. I understand how Arion slipped through the
cracks, but the others were clean as well. They paid their stately taxes every
year, no odd payments, no criminal activity until now, and not a bad word about
any of them. There was nothing that would rise anyone's suspicion."
I found it hard to accept this. Man's world was a dark one indeed.
"Except for the fact that their history's were too clean."
Black Canary's POV
"I understand where everyone is coming from but Diana, I think what Aquaman is
trying to say is that not all bad men appear bad. It's not uncommon for
upstanding citizens to be guilty of the most heinous of crimes. This has
happened before and will happen again. Kal-"
Superman put up his hand to stop us from talking. He tilted his head towards
the door. After a moment Kaldur walked in.
Kaldur'ahm's POV
I listened outside of the door for a few minutes until I gasped a little too
loudly. No doubt Superman heard me. If the sudden silence was anything to go
by.
Be brave son. Be brave. Be brave.
I walked into the room. I did not have quite enough courage to lift my head.
The room was so....dry. I needed water now.
"Kaldur'ahm are you okay?"
Aquaman crossed the room to me. He walked me to one of the chairs. I was the
only one sitting. Some were looking at me and others at invisible spots on the
floor.
I was out of my depth here.
I do not know why I came in at all. I could have walked away. No one would have
faulted me for that. But I came in anyways. I wanted to know what was going to
happen. I did not want this made public.
Aqualad was a public figure in Atlantis.
To be defiled like this. Maybe in a few generations Aqualad would only be a
symbol, but for now, Aqualad and Kaldur'ahm were one in the same.
Everyone who knew Aqualad knew me. I was akin to a celebrity.
This could not be made public. This needed to be handled quietly.
If people found out that Aqualad was hurt in this manner, they might force the
King's hand into removing me from my position.
Maybe some of it is that I am ashamed. But Aquaman said I had the right to feel
whatever I needed to. I am choosing to trust him in his assessment.
"Water. I need water."
The room erupted in movement.
Green Lantern was the first to get me a bottle. After he handed it to me he did
not seem sure what to do with his hands. He stepped back behind Canary.
Aquaman's POV
I was ashamed. I do not not how much Kaldur heard. He walked into the room
looking very faint. He needed water.
After he guzzled down the bottle the room was quiet still. Some were waiting
for him to talk and others were battling if they should be the one to break the
silence. Kaldur decided for us.
"Gratitude...For the water."
He seemed a little shy. More reserved than usual.
"No problem." Green Lantern was just as awkward.
"Kaldur'ahm...we were not sure how much you wanted to know."
"It is okay. I should not have been eavesdropping."
There were choruses of
"No, we should have been careful", "you have every right to be here", and
"we apologize!"
"Kaldur, it is as I said yesterday. You have nothing to apologize for. If you
want to know something, just ask. I will tell you. Is this amenable to you?"
He took his time answering. No one could say he did not think things through.
"It is. Can we speak to my parent's tomorrow? I do not wish to prolong this."
That gave me pause.
"Of course. We can Zeta to Atlantis and use seahorses to pull us the rest of
the way. It will attract less attention."
He simply nodded his head.
Canary stepped up to Kaldur and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"I would like to talk to you later on Kaldur. Is that okay?"
He nodded again. Kaldur'ahm was a smart child, he probably suspected he would
have to speak with Canary anyways. It was a good sign.
Batman cleared his throat and dismissed himself. The rest followed. Only Kaldur
and myself remained.
Chapter End Notes
     PLEASE don’t forget to leave COMMENTS.
***** Chapter 5 *****
Chapter Summary
     Kaldur talks to Canary and preps himself to talk to his parents.
Chapter Notes
     Same warnings apply. Please read the tags.
     Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice or its characters.
     PLEASE don’t forget to COMMENT. They keep me going.
     THIS CHAPTER IS ALSO FIXED. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND REREADING THIS STORY
     WITH THE FIXED ADDITIONS.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
We stayed in the room while my king filled me in. He told me of Arion. How he
and Batman would take care of it. I was not so sure they could. Not without
consequences.
I did not know how important of a man he was, but I knew he had an ample supply
of funds.
It was not uncommon for him to lavish me with gifts and trips.
I wanted so badly to refuse them but, if I did, the others would want to
know why.
Who would pass up the chance to see Clam Stadium, to meet the Kovin of Merma,
to train with the royal guards for 2 weeks as an apprentice before you even
graduated? No one. The other soldiers-in-training would have jumped at the
opportunity. Their interest would have been piqued at my refusal to go. I could
not have that.
But I could hardly appreciate the gifts. For what is a gift not freely given
but a trap?
 
Aquaman’s POV
“You should eat Kaldur.”
“I know.”
“Have you tried since breakfast?”
“I have not.”
“Are you hungry?”
“I am not.”
I managed to hold in a sigh.
“Your team has no assignments until further notice. I suggest you take this
time to focus on yourself.”
His head quickly snapped to mines. His eyes possessed an anger that was not
common to him.
“Do you believe me incapable of leading this team after all?”
Underneath his anger was fear.
“That is not it Kaldur’ahm. I only wish to give you time to sort things out.”
He took a few moments before responding. And when he did, it was in a steely
tone.
“I hope you will not find offence to what I am about to say my king, but I will
be fine without your assistance. I have done it once before. I do
not require therapy with Black Canary. These things happened quite some time
ago. I am not as weak as I was then. I am a skilled warrior now, if you will
pardon my forwardness. No one suspected-”
I had to stop him.
There were several problems with what he was saying.
“You were not weak Kaldur. You are not weak now either. What you have done is
bury your feelings and bottle them. I do not have to tell you how detrimental
that is. As for no one suspecting, I wish they had. I wish you had not have had
to have gone through this. You did nothing wrong.”
He seemed even more angry.
“I did! I did everything wrong. I was at the top of my classes. Had the best
scores. The most debates won, but I never managed to feel adequate enough. I
was always trying to be better. Not for myself, but for them. That is pathetic.
I wanted to be so good, that they would leave me alone. To be someone so good
that they would not want to hurt me. Because only a fool would ruin a good
thing.”
I had to gather my thoughts on that one. It appears to me that he has a low
self-esteem.
It is an easy thing to overlook from someone who excels at everything.
Kaldur’ahm is not a proud person. He takes pride in his work, but he is not
proud. 
He shares the success of his missions and takes all the blame for the failures.
This is what makes him a great leader. 
It is also why he does not want the position. Not because he believes there is
someone better suited for the job, but that he is not worthy of the title.
He told me as much.
Being leader is hard and lonely. Those under you look to you for guidance, but
who do you look to?
“Kaldur. I believe I am out of my depth here. In my earnest opinion, I would
speak to Black Canary. She has training in these particular matters. I am sorry
I can not be of more help to you, but as your guardian on the surface I will do
my best.”
He just looked anxious.
 
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
I had not meant to be short with Aquaman. But it had just hit me that the
League knows. 
They know. 
If today was any indication to go by, I would never tell the team. If the
League could barely look at me and no one knew what to say, my team would
surely see me differently.
Before I left the army to serve Annex Orin, Kordax and Topo cornered me. They
made me swear an oath to never tell anyone what happened. Not that I would be
believed. They promised in turn to never tell a soul.
I never imagined it would get out. Why would any of them endanger their own
careers? I was certainly never going to say anything. I was going to take it to
my grave. Like I promised I would.
The more I thought about it, the more I thought talking to Canary would not be
such a bad thing.
If nothing else, she might be able to give me tips on speaking to my parents
and getting more sleep. That is all I can hope for. All I will hope for.
“Forgive me my king. I know you are acting in my best interest. I have the
sudden urge to speak to Black Canary. May I be excused? Before I lose the
courage?”
Aquaman seemed to relax a little.
“Would you like me to take you there?”
“That will not be necessary.”
“Very well.”
I never remembered it taking so long to get to the door. I walked out into the
empty hallway and made a bee line for Canary’s office. The entire time I was
thinking about my father. My mother was a different matter. She was kind. She
was forgiving. She understood me where others did not.
My father. Calvin. It was just different. He was in the army. Not the Atlantean
one, but an army all the same. There was the possibility that he would not
understand. I do not believe he would blame me, but he might not forgive me for
not telling him.
The difference is distinct.
I knocked on Canary’s door.
She opened it and looked surprised to see me.
“Oh. I was going to call for you.”
“Is this not a good time?” 
I felt foolish. Just because I was ready does not mean she was.
“I can come back-”
“No. Now is fine. I just thought you might want some more time to yourself.
Sit. Make yourself comfortable.”
I took the seat furthest from her desk. If she noticed, she did not mention it.
“Gratitude. For seeing me.”
Her eyes looked sad.
Before we could get started Wonder Woman opened the door. She looked slightly
worried at my presence.
“Young warrior. Excuse the disruption. I will come back later.”
My nerves were shot.
“It is alright. I can come back at a more prudent time.”
“It’s all well. You were here first. I will take my leave.”
It was just me and Canary again.
 
Black Canary’s POV
“Kaldur’ahm, whatever you tell me will stay in here. I take my professional
oaths just as seriously as my heroic ones.”
It seemed to put him at ease. Slightly.
“I would like to ask for your…professional opinion on maintaining a positive
sleep schedule. I cannot seem to keep the night terrors at bay. They were not
as severe as they used to be, but I had 3 of them just last night. I barely
managed to escape Aquaman’s attention.”
That was one problem I would have to address. He should not feel like he was
burdening Aquaman. If I know Arthur at all, then I know he would want to be
aware of any problems Kaldur was having.
“Kaldur. Before we talk about things that can help you sleep I want to address
something you just said.”
He simply nodded at me.
“You should never feel like you are burdening someone because you are telling
them how you feel or are asking for help. Least of all Aquaman. He has a duty
to you beyond one of king. He is your mentor and friend. He wants to help you.
That is the least he can do. Do you understand?”
“It is not that I feel like he would be burdened, but my problems are
burdensome. He should not have to deal with them. If I can solve something on
my own, I find it is better to do so.”
Okay. This child has a serious self-sacrificing problem.
“Kaldur'ahm. Problems are problematic by nature. Everyone has them. Everyone
needs help sometimes. You do not have to carry them all on your own. Your
family, friends, and loved ones will be willing to help.”
He looked like he wanted to believe me.
“As far as sleeping goes, there is nothing absolute. I can tell you things that
are likely to help, but it is not a guarantee that you will sleep soundly.”
“This is acceptable.”
Always so formal. I used to think he was just like that around the adults, but
I have walked in several times when he was talking to one of the other kids and
his speech is consistent.
“Try to relax before you go to sleep. Do not attempt to just fall asleep. Avoid
taking naps. It will only make it harder for you to sleep at night. Also, don’t
force it. If you can’t sleep do something relaxing. Maybe take a quick swim
until you calm down. Try soothing music like the sound of the ocean. It has
been known to have calming effects.”
He was staring at me intently.
Of all of my patients he is the most attentive. He takes all of my advice to
heart. Aquaman told me that healers of all kinds in Atlantis are highly favored
and respected. Kaldur'ahm himself had an interest in it before he became
Aqualad instead.
“I will take your advice.”
“Is there anything else you wanted to talk about? I’m all ears. I want you to
feel comfortable telling me anything.”
I did not want to bring up his rape. I was not even sure that is what he
considered it. It was important to follow his lead and let him open up to me.
 
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
I need to focus on my breathing. I have been overly anxious since this morning.
I cannot seem to find a balance.
This could be potentially dangerous to me. I have electricity flowing through
my body. Without proper sleep the magic I have in me could backup and I could
shut down. 
The army was good at enforcing bed times. 
They were not so good at making sure no one got you out of your bunk.
“It is my parents. My father specifically. He is a good man. Strong. Brave.
Fights for what he believes in. He has taught me everything I know.”
I took a deep breath and steadied my voice.
“I am afr-...concerned he will be disappointed in me.”
I rushed to defend my father before she got the wrong idea.
“I do not believe he will blame me for…anything. But there is a chance that he
will be upset that I did not tell him. My reasons may not matter to him. How
can I ensure that he will forgive me for my betrayal? Even my mother will be
hurt that I did not feel I could go to her.”
My hands were clenching and unclenching.
“I know they would have believed me and stepped in, but I still did not tell
them. There are things I never want them to know. I do not want them to see me
as a different person because of this. I worry things will never be the same.”
 
Black Canary’s POV
It is so much harder to be professional with someone you work with. Someone you
train on a daily basis.
Batman showed us the video when Aquaman was speaking to Kaldur to determine the
validity of the man’s claims. Unfortunately, they were found to be true.
I had to take a few breaths myself.
Kaldur, for all his adult mannerisms, was a child. A child who was afraid that
his parents would not completely understand. Would be disappointed in him. My
end goal is to get Kaldur to lift all blame from himself. To come to the
realization that none of it was his fault.
There are several people he could blame, but that is not his way. He prefers to
accept all responsibility, even if it is not his to bear.
I moved in front of him and took his hands.
“Kaldur. You do not have to push yourself. When and how you decide to tell your
parents, do it on your terms. Go to a place you feel comfortable. Tell them
what you want and not anything more. Remember that it is not your fault. You
have not betrayed anyone in any way." 
It's imperative I reinforce this statement.
"You don’t control other people’s emotions or reactions. It is okay to cry, get
upset, leave, take a break. Whatever you need. This is about you and your
comfort.”
He turned away from me.
“Your parents very well may have questions, but based on what you told me of
them, they will understand. They may be upset at the situation. Just keep
reminding yourself mentally that you are not to blame. When are you planning on
talking to them?”
“Tomorrow. I do not want to prolong this. They need to be told so that I can
concentrate on other things.”
“Kaldur-”
“I do not wish to think of these dark things for longer than I have to. I lived
it for years. There is nothing I do not remember about it. I put it behind me.
I want everyone to get to a place where they are not on egg shells around me
either.”
I could not say the word. What is was. I know what it was, but I do not want to
speak it.
I suddenly had enough of talking. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to swim
aimlessly and think about nothing. Maybe if I tired myself out, I could sleep
tonight.
I stood up to leave.
 
Black Canary’s POV
Kaldur’ahm suddenly stood up and made to leave.
“Kaldur, are you okay?”
“I would like to leave now. I have things to think about.”
He left without waiting for me to respond. I can’t say I wasn’t shocked. I know
situations like these make people behave out of their norms, but Kaldur
was always so patient.
In any case I will let him work through things alone for now. After all, he did
come to me.
I made a note that he avoided saying the word rape or assault.
I could not be the first person to use these terms. He had to say it first, and
when he did I had to reaffirm it once or twice.
I am aware of how males tend to view sexual assault and their masculinity. I am
not familiar with Atlantean customs, but I will have to ask Aquaman a few
things about their gender roles.
They way he talked about his abuse was somewhat disturbing. He was distancing
himself from it. As if he was not the boy it happened to.
Without giving details I had to let the League know the general synopsis of
Kaldur’s psyche. They needed to know if he was cleared to do his job and if he
was a threat to himself.
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
Calvin Durham.
It was not common to name people Jr. or to share their exact name in Atlantis.
Atlanteans did not have last names. In order to compromise his culture with
ours, my mother made my name a mixture of his first and last name.
Kaldur’ahm.
It only brought us closer. It was just one more thing that made us similar.
He was big Cal. I was little Kal. Well, not so little anymore. We were the same
height now. He had more muscle definition, but I would get there in due time.
I went to the pool that was installed in my room and swam for hours. 
Doing everything but thinking.
Chapter End Notes
     PLEASE don’t forget to COMMENT. They keep me going.
***** Chapter 6 *****
Chapter Summary
     Kaldur talks to his parents and Aquaman confides in Mera.
Chapter Notes
     This has definitely been the hardest chapter for me to write thus
     far. I wanted each character to have an independent voice, and some
     were just harder to grasp than others. I hope I managed to keep them
     in character-ish at least. I try not to bore you guys. This one is a
     little longer than the other ones.
     I do not own anything Young Justice related. Same triggers apply.
     For any of those wondering if I am going to include Black Manta
     well…we will see. Tee hee hee.
     THIS CHAPTER IS FIXED
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Aquaman’s POV
Superman and Batman were sitting across from me in the shuttle. We were the
only ones here. I needed to vent and Canary and Wonder Woman said they would
look after Kaldur. They could not do any worse than I have managed.
How could I not see that something was off kilter?
It certainly explained some of his more persistent behaviors.
Kaldur was always so reserved. I wrote it off as reverence for his king with a
healthy dose of admiration.
He was always humble, just short of self-deprecating. I ascribed it to his
modest upbringing.
He was overly efficient, and took every deviation to heart. I lauded him for
it. I was so blinded by his desire to succeed that I overlooked his fear of
failure.
He would eat anything. I thought it was because he was a growing boy. I use
to tease him about it. I called him a bottom feeder once. I cannot forgive
myself for that. I never considered an eating disorder. I never considered that
he might not have had a lot to eat as a child. That he could not afford to be
picky.
He avoided group sleep. Soldiers would sleep in groups of twenty wherever they
dropped. It boosted morale and reminded them of their days in army school. It
was optional, but most warriors enjoyed it.
I thought it was because he did not have many friends that he slept alone.
Night terrors never crossed my mind.
He was a private person. I respected that. I even admired it. Usually children
that young did not keep their counsel. I never thought it could be because he
had so much to hide.
There was so much about Kaldur that I overlooked, disregarded, or either
completely ignored.
What kind of a mentor am I?
How could I help mend a child that I helped break?
 
Superman’s POV
Aquaman looked like he hadn’t gotten any sleep. I know I sure hadn’t. It was
hard listening to that man brag about what he did. What they did.
How could anyone be proud of such a vile act? It's times like these that I feel
a bit more appreciative of my alien nature. I could pretend that only humans
did things like this. Even though I know better. 
I had never spoken to Kaldur for more than a few seconds at a time, but he
seemed like a real swell kid.
I can understand keeping a secret from loved ones for fear they would reject
you. For the better part of my teen years I hid who I was from my closest
friends. I alternated between resenting my powers, and resenting the human race
for their smaller power potential and closed-mindedness about aliens. I hated
the word.
I’m not one to encourage keeping a secret, especially one that could be
personally detrimental, but I understand. I’ve been abducted before and I
always feel so humiliated after. I’m big. I’m powerful. I’m literally super
strong.
These things were not supposed to happen to me.
I was the one the team relied on for heavy artillery, and if I failed,
well…things got complicated.
How can I insist that Kaldur, a teenager, confess to his parents when I was
able to keep my secret well past my youth?
It seemed hypocritical to me.
I could only imagine what he must be feeling. My pride is hurt when I get
abducted because I feel like I should always be stronger than the enemy. Be
able to fight back. Kaldur'ahm was just a kid. 
But I remember being a teenager vividly. Everything is so complicated. You
focus on the negative. The things you can't control. I'm not sure why, it's
just like that. Even my alien DNA didn't protect me from that. 
Aqualad is probably focusing solely on the fact that he was in the army and had
basic hand-to-hand combat and defensive training. 
Never mind that they were adults and seasoned fighters.
The main thing that convinced me it would be best for Aqualad to talk to his
parents is the fact that this type of secret has the power to consume you.
Kaldur needed to come to terms with his past, and if telling his parents was a
first step in that direction then I was all in.
 
Batman’s POV
It makes me sick. It makes me physically sick. How can an adult be sexually
attracted to a child? I know it happens, but I don’t get it. But of course
that’s the point. I’m not supposed to get it. I should be sickened. I should be
angry at these predators.
It’s situations like these that serve as a reminder as to why I took up the
cowl in the first place.
I would enjoy nothing better than giving these four men the bat-treatment, but
I had to keep this in Atlantis. I didn’t want to make Kaldur’s life any harder
than it was now.
I can see a lot of myself in him when I was his age.
I was determined to do everything right, but it made it harder for me to accept
defeats.
I strived for perfection, but it made me less open to taking chances.
I didn't trust anyone I worked with enough because their immortality
was always at the forefront of my mind, and it meant I put myself  in the most
dangerous situations.
Kaldur is still young. I don't want him to become like me. 
Burdened by a tragedy that often times is my sole motivation for fighting
crime. 
Vengeance.
It’s something I can never truly escape. I did not kill the man who took my
parents life, but it was the chief reason I became Batman in the first place. I
wanted to take out bad guys, because I couldn’t save my family from one.
I don’t want Kaldur to stick with Aqualad because he couldn’t stop what was
happening to him. I want his reasons to be as uncorrupted as he is.
As much as he reminds me of myself, there are differences too.
I am not self-sacrificing without thinking of every possible solution out of
the predicament first. Kaldur’ahm will put himself in harms way every time if
it means the rest of the team makes it to safety. I've talked to him about it
in our briefs many times.
He always says the same thing.
"A good leader has to put others first. I am no exception." 
I do not lack ambition. It has blinded me before and I’m sure it will again. It
is why Superman is the unofficial official leader of the Justice League. He
has no desire to be more than that. He is not tempted in the ways that I am.
Kaldur’ahm is like that too. There is room for improvement, but he leads well.
He just doesn’t want to lead. He only took the position because he was elected.
He would never have chosen it for himself. 
I have deduced that it is because he doesn’t consider himself fit for the
title. He couldn’t be further from the truth.
 
Aquaman’s POV
The silence was thick. It was clear what was on all of our minds.
“I think Kaldur’ahm might be pushing himself too fast telling his parents so
soon. And I know him…somewhat.”
It hurt to admit that.
“If he changes his mind on the way there, he will not tell me. He will suffer
in silence and go through with it anyways. On the slim chance that
he does change his mind, he would likely never get around to telling them again
because he would never think he would be ready again. I want to caution him to
wait, but he is insistent that he does not prolong things. I can not bring
myself to refuse him in this.”
Superman tapped his pen on the table and suggested I reassure him in plain
words that it is okay to change his mind.
Batman merely nodded his consent.
“I must confess that there is something I cannot get off of my mind.” They both
looked at me intently.
I sat back in my chair and rubbed the side of my neck.
“His gill infection.”
Superman squirmed a little, and Batman grimaced.
“Do you know how many…oral deposits it would take to infect gills? They
are literal filters. Do you understand how difficult it would be to clog them
even theoretically? Atlanteans have survived the BP oil spill, dirty fish
hooks, and toxic plastic residue for decades now, and those with gills were
hardly affected."
The longer I thought about it. The clearer how Kaldur'ahm's life went was to
me.
"Gill infection itself is easily treatable, but left uncared for and it becomes
increasingly fatal. You could drown underwater. In order for him to need both a
liquid and solid seaweed treatment, it means he kept his infection to himself
for some time. He could have died."
No one would have ever known the truth. It would have died with him.
"He literally could have died. The worst part is that he never actually told
anyone he had the infection. One of his bunk mates found out when he woke up
with his neck swollen. If they had not noticed him, he would have died. I
cannot shake that thought.”
Kaldur was like a surrogate son to me. Me and Mera both.
It was no secret we had trouble conceiving, but even if we had not, we would
still see Kaldur’ahm the same. I have known him for years and I have come to
both trust and respect him.
“I have thoroughly failed him. I hate to even entertain the thought, but we
should anticipate his swift removal from the team. His parents might not want
him to stay and even as King, I am bound legally to comply. He is a minor and
his parents are fit.”
Sha’lain’a will never forgive me. Calvin will probably try to take things into
his own hands, and I am not so sure I would be willing to stop him.
 
Batman’s POV
I have a no-kill rule. There have only been a handful of times where I really
questioned that decision.
This was one of them.
I am not well versed in Atlantean physiology. Aquaman is as secretive of
Atlantis as I am about Gotham.
I believed a gill infection to be the equivalent of a human’s strep throat. I
can see now just how off I was.
I cannot imagine Kaldur was unaware of the severity of a gill infection and all
that it entailed. I cannot imagine…no, I do not want to imagine Kaldur so
scared to ask for medical attention that he would chance his own life.
These men will pay. Thoroughly.
 
*Back at Mt. Justice*
 
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
Swimming for a few hours helped me to relax a little. I wanted to be at my best
when I talked to my parents.
I still had not managed to eat. I did not think it wise. I preferred to try to
eat lightly the next morning because if I knew my mother at all, she would try
to feed me when I arrived.
I had a lot I was putting out of my mind.
I promised my mother I would stay safe, and even though this happened years
ago, she might not see it that way. If she wanted me to leave the team, I
would. The only problem is that I still want to be Aqualad.
This is why I have to start doing better. I have to get sleep and eat well. My
future depended on it.
I got out of the tank and tried to get some sleep. Me and Aquaman had a long
journey ahead of us.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
*The next morning*
 
Aquaman’s POV
I woke Kaldur before dawn. He did not want to run into any of the League. I
offered him breakfast and he picked over an egg. I decided not to mention it.
His nerves were probably in overdrive right now.
We Zeta’d to the capitol, but Shayeris was an hour and a half out of the way by
Sea Horse. I told the guards we were on private business and to keep it to
themselves. My people were loyal.
Kaldur was a bucket of nerves next to me. It was clear he did not want to talk,
and I did not try to make him. This was hard enough without me adding to it.
“You know you can change your mind right? If you do not feel up for it today,
we can try another time. It is okay to change your mind. I am concerned that
you...you need not push yourself.”
If it was possible he turned even further away from me in his seat. He was
committed to following through with this.
I did not try to speak to him again.
 
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
The ride to Shayeris was torture. It seemed strange that I was passing familiar
landmarks like it was a normal trip home for me.
Nothing about this trip was normal.
The only time I had ever traveled to Shayeris with my king was when we went to
ask my parents blessing for me to be Aqualad.
This was not the same. I was excited the last time. I could not wait to get
home. To tell my parents of the good news.
I could not wait to escape the hold the army had on me. To get far away from
the people who ill used me. I chose Aqualad and Garth chose Magic.
But this trip was not like that one. This one was not a happy one, but I would
remember it all the same.
I could not refrain from reminiscing about my childhood with my parents. It was
a loving and supportive one.
Me and my father joined the gulf preservation team when I was 10 and
volunteered for 6 weeks to the cause. We helped clean up the oil and preserve
the marine life that was in danger there. It was a real father-son bonding
trip.
My father told me it was important to protect your home.
I can remember when me and my mother would go oyster hunting for dinner. We
could have just bought them from the market, but it was more fun diving for our
food. It was a common activity for parents to do with their young children.
She made it so fun.
I can remember sitting on top of my father’s shoulders watching the annual
Tritonian parade. There was music, food, glittery shells, and wonderful live
performances. There were children swimming through the crowds and catching the
shells that were being thrown only to collect them in little pails. Whoever had
the most would win a small prize. It was a great way to keep the younger
children’s attention.
There were so many memories. So many lessons in them.
Although the memory is not one I can remember well, I was only 3 at the time, I
went to Mississippi a few times. It is where my father’s mother lived.
She was my gramma. I could not visit more often because it is so hot and dry
there. But I can remember eating ice cream, going fishing in the lake behind
her house, and waiting out thunderstorms in the dark.
I never did understand why we had to cut all of the lights off, but it was fun.
She would sing and tell me stories about my father’s childhood. They were
funny. She passed away a year later from old age. Thinking on it. I believe my
father knew her time was nearing. 
My mother and father keep up her house. My mother never went with us on those
trips.
She was not an Atlantean that could tolerate air for very long. Not without
using her magic. She would sit for hours and listen while I told her about the
things that I saw, the things I ate, and the strange phrases people used.
We were always a close family.
And this trip could change all of that. At least I could find comfort in the
memories.
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Sha’lain’a’s POV
My heart is heavy and I do not know why. It was one of those days where you
waited for something to go bad. I had my theories about what it could be.
Calvin was fine. I was fine. So that only left Kaldur’ahm. I hoped he would be
alright. He is my only child. I do not know how me and Calvin could get on
without him.
I got up to find Calvin.
He was going over our family finances. He was good at numbers and organization.
He was an accountant on the surface before he had quit to join David. He fell
for his lies. 
He was not the only one.
“My love.”
He turned to me and gave me the smile that caught my heart the first time I
laid eyes on him. After all these years it had never dulled.
His brow crinkled. He had picked up on my distress. He was soft spoken and a
man of few words, but he always anticipated my needs.
 
Calvin’s POV
“Is there something bothering you? You seem worried?”
My Sha’lain’a was leaning against the door, her eyes distant. I could tell
something was bothering her.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
It was better to cloak people in silence and let them tell you what they wanted
you to know.
Her reply was unsteady.
“I have this strange feeling that Kaldur’ahm is in trouble. He needs us.”
I knew to take her seriously. She always worried about Kal, and she was always
on point. If she felt the need to check up on him, we would.
Before I could reply, there was a knock at the door. It was Kal and Orin.
Technically he was Annex Orin, but it was weird to think of him as a king.
 
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
Time passed by quickly. Too quickly. We were at my parent’s faster than I
wanted.
“Do you still want me to go in with you?”
My king shook me out of my reverie. I did want him here. Maybe not in the room
with us, but close enough to get me out if I needed to leave.
“Will you stand in the hall?
He looked like he wanted to say something, but he just gave a half smile and
nodded instead.
We got to the door and my parents opened it. They were not surprised to see me,
but they did appear nervous at my presence.
“Mother. Father.”
My mother was the first to hug me. She kissed my cheek as she always does. My
father clasped my shoulder and gave it a gentle shake.
“Kaldur’ahm. Are you well? Have you eaten?”
I wanted to lie to my mother and tell her yes, but I could not. I went for a
partial truth.
“I skipped breakfast, but I am not hungry.”
Truthfully I was hungry, but my body was telling me that I would not keep it
down. I listened to my body.
“May we sit?”
There was a flurry of movement. They acknowledged Aquaman with a head nod. They
could tell we were not here for pleasant conversation. We regrouped in the
visiting area.
Aquaman looked out of place.
“I will wait in the hall.”
Instead of a response my parents just turned to me.
This was the moment of truth. I did not know what to say to them. I just know
that I needed to say it.
I was sitting in between them. Normally I would draw comfort from such an
action, but now it only served to make me more aware of what I needed to tell
them.
“I…have something to tell you both that I have kept a secret until now.”
They seemed slightly alarmed. I never kept anything from them. Not anything
big.
“I do not…wish…to go into specifics. I just need to tell you.”
The tension in the room was thick. My mother tried to comfort me.
“You can tell us anything Kaldur’ahm. We will always be here for you.”
That is exactly what was bothering me. I know I can tell them anything. They
would want to know why I did not. Especially about something like this.
“I know I can.”
I shamefully started crying. It was all too much.
My father hugged me.
“We’re right here Kal. Take your time.”
That only made me cry harder. I was trying to get through this and was making a
big mess of it. My mother was a bundle of nerves. I was one of those kids who
would go off alone if I had to cry. Seeing me all but sobbing must have
frightened her.
“I do not know where to begin. I will just say it.”
I was silent for a full minute. I had never said the word. I did not want to
say it now, but it would paint the fullest picture with the least amount of
talking.
“In the army…shortly after I got there, a few of my trainers took an interest
in me. I was grateful enough for their attention. I had no friends and craved
real conversation. Things were okay for a while.”
I stared at a spot on the coral table. I decided not to draw this out. I took a
steadying breath and came out with it.
“They…raped me.”
If they were not sitting so close to me they would not have heard me. My throat
was itchy and my leg would not stop bouncing.
I heard them both gasp. My mother hugged me and my father followed suit. I just
sat there and wept.
 
Sha’lain’a’s POV
How could I have not known? What kind of mother does not see this? How long had
this gone on? Who were these people? He said they? More than one? I could
barely breathe. I vowed to protect my son from all harm and I could not have
failed anymore than I did.
He was probably angry with me. For not seeing. For not keeping my promise to
him.
 
Calvin’s POV
I didn’t think it was possible for my heart to break so quickly. What kind of
father have I been that he did not feel comfortable telling me? I know I could
have been better. I should have shown him more affection. I strived to be
better than my own dad.
He never told me he loved me.
I knew he did, but after he died I questioned it. I didn’t want to be like him
and leave anything up for question.
Kal is a good kid and an even better son. I can only imagine how angry he was
with me for not protecting him. I always told him it was my job. A job that I
would go out of my way to do.
No wonder he skipped so many family visits during his time in the army. He was
disappointed in me for not saving him. I would never be able to gain that trust
back.
My body was wracked with silent sobs. I may have lost my son.
 
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
I had never seen my father cry before. I did not know how to handle it. I heard
a shuffling out in the hall. Aquaman had went outside. It was for the better. I
did not want him to see us like this.
I looked up and asked the question I did not think I could bear the answer to.
“Are you ashamed?”
There was a brief pause, but the fierceness in my mother’s eyes calmed me.
Her hands were over her mouth while she tried to wipe the tears from her own
eyes.
“Never. I could never be ashamed of you. You did nothing wrong.”
My father found his voice.
“You are my son. There is nothing you could do that would make me ashamed of
you. I want you to rid yourself of the very thought. You aren’t held liable for
other people’s wrong doings. I thank you. For telling us.”
 
Sha’lain’a’s POV
I wanted to kill the ones who did this. For what they put my son through. When
he asked if we were ashamed, I know he was aiming that more towards Calvin.
What had they said to him? I wanted to ask questions but I did not want to harm
him.
Ashamed of him.
How could I ever bring myself to be ashamed of him? I worry for him. I am proud
of him. I support him. But shame?
When he was born he was the only consolation I had that not everything about
David was bad. I was not the dumbest person in the world. Something good came
out of our union.
He was such a good baby. He kept me going. Gave me something to look forward
to. Shame is not something I could have.
 
Calvin’s POV
I had questions. I just don’t know how to approach them.
 
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
“There is more.”
I steadied my breath.
“I must confess. I was planning on taking this to my grave. I would have never
told. I would ask your forgiveness for not telling you sooner.”
“No. Kal. Do not ask for forgiveness. You are not to blame here.”
“Kaldur’ahm. I beg you for forgiveness. For not seeing. How can a mother miss
such a thing?”
I could barely look my mom in the eyes, but I managed.
“Mother. You could not have known. I went to great lengths to make sure no one
would. It is because of my own deceit that I am here today-”
My father was having none of it.
“Kaldur’ahm. Please don’t say that. You were not being deceitful. I am sure you
have your reasons for telling us now. I don’t hold that against you. Neither
does your mother.”
My mother squeezed my hand.
“We only wish to help you. You are so brave. Braver than me. I know if this was
me, I would have never found the courage to tell my dad. I can only be grateful
that you have your mother’s bravery instead of mines.”
I do not deserve them. They were so patient. So understanding. I am riddled
with guilt for ever doubting them.
“So you are not disappointed in my not telling you?”
My father answered while my mother smoothed down the tufts of hair at the nape
of my neck.
“Kaldur, I will be honest. I wish you had come to us. If only to have put a
stop to them sooner, but I am not disappointed in you that you didn’t. I am
disappointed that I cannot do more. Do you understand?”
Canary was correct in her assessment. My parents truly blamed me for nothing. I
could not ask for better ones.
“Yes father. Gratitude.”
No one said anything for a while. I just sat squished in between them. My
mother rubbing comforting circles in my hair and my father with a strong arm
wrapped around my shoulders.
I cleared my throat.
“One of them is in custody. He told the League of his actions against me. I
was…forced to confess. He is in part why I am here today. The League has made
it a priority to punish him in Atlantis. Annex Orin and the others have
formulated a plan to apprehend the others.”
I continued before my father could ask questions.
“I am afraid I do not know the details. I asked to be left out of them.”
I risked a glance at my father but his eyes were just as understanding as ever.
“I am sure you have questions. I only request that you not ask for specifics. I
am not…ready… for that.”
I braced myself.
 
Calvin’s POV
He gave us an opening. I was not sure how much to ask him so I took the direct
approach. He was never one for idle talk.
“Where you concerned we might not believe you?”
I had to know. I know how these things worked on the surface. Children were
typically threatened into silence. I wanted to reassure Kal that we would have
always believed him.
“No. I knew you would. I just thought you might be upset that I did not tell
you. We had that talk before. About telling you guys anything. I just thought
it would be best not to.”
“Why?”
He seems hesitant at this.
 
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
I knew they would want to know why I did not say anything. I wish I had an
answer planned.
It is not a well known fact that I am employed by the Crown to be Aqualad. I
have no need for the money so I opted to have it sent directly to my parents.
They refused to use it, but we still had it if we ever needed it.
I wanted to help out my family. When I was in the army I was gifted a
scholarship. It paid for my formal education along with room and board. Without
it my parents would have struggled to keep me in military school and take care
of themselves.
Arion and Kordax told me they would lower my scores so that I would lose it if
I said anything. They were like that. Always threatening me unnecessarily. I
was never going to say anything.
I told my parents a shorter variation of this.
My father put his forehead to mines and made me keep eye contact.
“Kal. We would never choose money over you. Do not feel the need to remain
Aqualad because of us.”
My mother seconded that.
“We want you to be at peace with your decision. We will stand by whatever you
decide.”
I was relieved they had not demanded I give up being Aqualad so that they could
keep a closer eye out on me.
Regardless, I wanted to stay for the night. My parents needed to see me as much
as I needed them within visual range.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
*Outside*
Aquaman’s POV
While Kaldur spoke with his parents I called Mera by tele-orb. I gave her a
very brief version of the situation.
“Your family is from Poseidonis. You have just as many connections as Arion. I
ask that you subtly call on them. We need to have him stripped of his titles
without the treasury being influenced.”
“Of course. You need not ask. I care for Kaldur’ahm. I cannot believe this has
escaped the attention of so many. What if there are others?”
“We will cross that bridge should we come across it. For now the plan is to
liquidize a portion of his personal assets and spread them among the victims.
Besides therapy, there is not much we can do at this point.”
“Poor Kaldur. I cannot imagine his fear. He was always so…stable.”
I understood where she was coming from. I too had saw his accomplishments and
looked no further.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
After the conversation with my wife Kaldur’ahm came out and asked if it was
okay to spend the night with his parents. As if I would have possibly told him
no.
He bade me farewell with plans to Zeta back home the next afternoon. I told him
to take as much time as he needed. I would fill the League in on his absence.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
The rest of the day passed by peacefully enough. My mother got me to eat. We
mostly sat in each other’s company while I answered whatever questions they
had.
I am glad they did not push for specifics. But there was something that was
bothering me. The look in my father’s eyes when he thought I was not watching.
I knew what he was thinking.
He wanted to harm Dardanus. He was probably thinking of ways to convince Annex
Orin to see him. Normally I would not have worried, but I am not confident that
my king would not allow him.
We spent the night together. On the couch in the visiting area. It was a bit
embarrassing. I am 6 foot and squished between my parents drawing comfort from
their close proximity.
Their steady breathing calmed me to sleep. A huge weight was lifted off my
chest.
I woke up from a nightmare.
I did not want to talk about it. They wanted to push the issue but they
respected my boundaries.
It was that one.
The one where Topo took me to his room and used his mouth.
I acted terribly. I had done it for him plenty of times, but no one had ever
reciprocated before then.
I had awakened from a night terror and went to the library to calm my mind. He
was there. He asked me why I was up. I told him I could not sleep. He knew the
truth behind it and guided me to his room.
I was resentful for that. He was the reason for my lack of sleep. Would he,
knowing that, use me again?
But it was different that time.
He laid me on his bed with a patience he seldom showed and pulled my sleeping
tunic up to my stomach. Underwear is not a thing Atlanteans bother with.
I did not know what he was about to do. I was…pleasantly surprised.
He brought his head to my lap and took me into his mouth. I was easily
stimulated. It was not long before I was squirming on the bed. Making shameful
noises. Trying to catch my breath. Quietly begging.
Please. Topo. Please.
He was amused.
When I spilled my essence, he merely swallowed it. Put my tunic down and took
me back to my bunk.
I had never felt so confused. I should not have liked it. I knew that much, but
I liked the feel of his mouth. Instead of falling to sleep, I did magical
squares in my head until morning call.
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When I woke up the next morning I forced myself to sleep. I spent the day with
my parents setting personal boundaries.
They wanted to know how much I could handle without upsetting me.
I left that evening feeling more relaxed than I had in days.
They tried to get me to stay, but I had some apprehension about that. I know
that I can rely on them, but I also did not want to.
I wanted to ease my nerves before I went back to Mt. Justice. I zeta’d outside
of the mountain and made my way to the city.
It was a trip I took several times before.
I made it to the worn building and went to the third floor.
I knocked and the door opened.
“Hello my friend.”
Roy only looked mildly surprised to see me.
Chapter End Notes
     Please don’t forget to COMMENT
***** Chapter 7 *****
Chapter Summary
     Kaldur and Roy hang out
Chapter Notes
     Same warnings apply. PLEASE READ THE TAGS. TRIGGER WARNINGS APPLY.
     Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice or its characters.
     THIS CHAPTER IS ALSO FINISHED
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
Roy’s apartment was…sparse. And cluttered. At the same time. It was a strange
dichotomy that fit his person well.
He had about 6 red shirts and 5 black ones. Three pairs of jeans and 2 pairs of
shoes. It was his entire wardrobe. It had always managed to shock me that so
few clothing items could be strewn about so casually.
I myself had few cloths. My suit made it unnecessary. However, the few civilian
clothes I did own were stored away neatly.
It is important to take care of your personal possessions.
Roy Harper was not of the same mentality.
Aside from his clothes, he had random magazines, arrows, and empty food
containers piled on the center of his coffee table.
I would usually not be able to stop myself from straightening up the place or
at least washing a few dishes, but today I had other things on my mind.
I did not come here to talk.
I wanted to patrol with a friend that would not ask questions.
I was tired of remembering the way the League members looked at me. How my
parents had cried for me. 
Roy would only think this was another one of my random visits I took when I
needed to get away from Mt. Justice.
I do not have a personal problem with anyone on the team, but I am the oldest.
Robin is 13. Wally is 15 and Robin’s best friend. I was always the third wheel
there. M’gann and Connor are completely wrapped up in each other, Artemis is
still too guarded to seek a friendship, and of course there is the issue that
my best friend does not care for her.
It made me and Roy all the more closer. On the outside looking in, we do not
have a lot in common, but we work well together.
Roy’s hair is the personification of his character.
He is fire.
He embodies fire and all that it entails. He has the tendency to escalate
things. Roy is hot headed, stubborn, and proud. But he is also creative,
passionate, motivated, and action-driven.
He makes mistakes like we all do. He will deny aid in his endeavors, but when
he gets in over his head he always calls for back up. 
He is impulsive.
He will dive head first into the water.
He is one of those people you have to take whole. You either accept every part
of him, or none of him.
If Roy’s hair personifies his character, then my eyes personify mines.
I am water.
I take shape of the situation around me. It has aided in my escape and victory
many times. I am calm, introspective, and practical. I try to understand others
and be a good ear for them.
But, like Roy, I too have my many faults.
I soak up the negative feelings around me. It overwhelms me and makes me
anxious at times. It leaves me questioning myself and doubting my ability to
lead. It is in my nature to brood. To look at everything and analyze it again
and again.
I forget sometimes that I am deserving of gratitude.
In order to balance my life, I added a little fire.
 
Roy’s POV
Kal has been my good friend for the past few years now. When I first met him I
thought he was little more than a drone.
I couldn’t stand the guy.
He was so uptight. So frigid. So formal.
It was always “yes my king”, “with all due respect my liege”, and “pardon me
your grace”. The guy lacked a personality.
He was always so calm.
It irritated the hell out of me. I used to take pleasure in trying to rile him
up. I only garnered little success.
I don’t know when it went from “annoy the fish out of water” to “why don’t we
make inside jokes about our mentors to pass the time,” but it marked the
beginning of an epic friendship.
When he showed up at my place I could tell something was off. He
looked...disturbed. I was used to him dropping by randomly. Our jobs didn’t
leave a lot of room for planned free time.
I remember the first time he'd stopped by my place. It was the only time I was
surprised by his presence.
***flashback***
Kaldur was standing in my doorway awkwardly, waiting for me to allow him
entrance. He clasped his hands and held them in front of him. His head was
slightly bowed.
“Hello my friend.”
I only raised a brow. Kaldur had never been to my place before. I hadn’t even
told him where I lived. It must have been Robin.
I stepped aside.
“Shut it behind you.”
He briskly walked in and closed the door behind him. I was worried he was going
to be awkward the whole time he was here so I tried to make him relax.
“Want something to drink?”
He seemed wary.
“It is not one of your inhibitor’s is it?”
It took me a second to realize he was asking if I was offering him alcohol. I
couldn’t control my laughter.
“It’s not alcohol Kal. It’s soda. I promise you’ll be completely hibited after
you drink it. Sides, I’m not even old enough to drink.”
He gave me one of his knowing smirks.
“I didn’t say I don’t drink. Just that I’m not old enough to.”
He smiled for the first time since he got there.
I could tell his mind was on something, but he wasn’t in the mood for talking.
It was probably about me leaving the team.
“I am not sure how these things work. I am still learning your customs.”
“There are no rules to hanging out with a friend Kaldur. You do whatever you
want really. It’s not a formal thing.”
We’d been down this road before. Atlantean society was very structured and
everything had rules. I had to explain to him that American society was more go
with the flow.
“I see.”
I really looked at him this time. His eyes had a slight grey tint under them.
His hair, while short, was a little frayed at the ends. His posture was more
rigid than usual. He was tired and being overworked.
But would he ever think to complain to Aquaman that he needed a break? Of
course not! And Aquaman was like Batman in that sense. You had to be near death
or have a mental break down for either of them to see that you were
overwhelmed.
I made the unanimous decision to take him to the movies.
He had never seen one and seemed to enjoy it. He took the rules seriously about
no talking and turning off your cell phones.
He had popcorn for the first time. He drenched it in butter and pepper which
resulted in him switching with me.
We had watched Cloud Atlas. I noticed he blushed every time Halle Berry’s
character Luisa Rey was on the screen.
I teased him about it on the way home. He blushed and desperately tried to get
me to change the subject. I took pity on him, but not before he threatened me
from telling the guys.
All in all, it was a good day and Kaldur’ahm had relaxed.
***End Flashback***
I decided not to beat around the bush.
“You look like shit.”
I was rewarded with the most strained smile I had ever seen from him. He would
have normally made some type of sarcastic comment about the messiness of my
apartment by now. He looked troubled. Deeply troubled. More than when he told
me about Tula and Garth.
“Hey man you wanna sit down?”
He took a few seconds to answer.
“I do not.”
I was guessing now.
“You wanna eat?”
He shook his head no.
“You wanna talk?”
“I…do not know what I want.”
That was alarming. What was even more alarming was the fact that his comm had
just went off and he either really didn’t hear it beeping in his ear, or he was
totally ignoring it. Something he had never done before.
“I’m going to answer your comm okay?”
He just looked at me. Since he didn’t try to stop me I took his comm out of his
ear and answered it.
“Aqualad?”
It was Aquaman. He sounded worried.
“Red Arrow.”
I could hear his breath of relief.
“Is he alright?”
A warning bell went off in my head. Aquaman would never ask if Kaldur was
alright unless he had reason to believe that he wasn’t. Regardless of his
concern, I wasn’t about to throw Kaldur under the bus.
“He doesn’t feel like talking. We’re gonna hang out for a while.”
“Hang out?”
I didn't even try to contain my sigh.
“He’s spending time with me.”
“I see. Just let him know that I expect to see him before nightfall.”
I wasn’t aware Kaldur had a curfew.
“Will do. Red Arrow out.”
I turned to Kaldur.
“You wanna tell me what that was about?”
He averted his eyes and said not really.
“Kal. You’re starting to worry me. Let’s sit.”
“I do not want to sit!”
The venom in his voice brought me up short.
Angry Kaldur isn’t as funny as I had imagined it.
“Kal. Something's up. Tell me.”
He seemed about to answer but changed his mind.
“Can we patrol?”
I didn’t think it was the best idea. He seemed hostile, but he had never give
me reason to think he would lose control in the field.
After I suited up, we made our way to The Alley. The place is as seedy as it
sounds. This was the only place I could think of that had such blatant crime
this early in the day.
It seems my fears were misplaced. Kaldur did not go crazy on anybody. Quite the
contrary actually.
He fought with veteran efficiency and precision.
Whenever I put my hand on his shoulder to tell him good job, he shrugged it
off. If I didn’t know any better, I would say he was mad at me.
He wasn’t slowing down.
We had about 40 minutes until nighttime. I reminded Kaldur of Aquaman’s words.
He eyes had cleared up and he was more focused.
Back to his usual calm demeanor.
Anyone with eyes could see he was embarrassed about his behavior earlier. Which
is weird considering I go on rants every other day and he still thinks I’m
sane.
 
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
I had to clarify a few things with Roy before I left.
I needed to give him enough to know I was going to be okay without telling him
too much.
I was rude to him all day. Giving him the silent treatment. Not thanking him
for spending time with me.
I looked back in my memories to find out what I should do to let him know I was
truly sorry. I remembered Robin and KF did a secret handshake. We did not have
one of those so I chose another path.
I stepped up to him and wrapped my arms around his upper shoulders and back. He
tensed up.
“I am sorry my friend. Today was a much needed distraction. I did not intend to
take my frustrations out on you.”
If it were any other day I would have laughed at his utterly ridiculous face.
His cheeks were brighter than his hair.
He cleared his throat and pushed away from me.
“Oookay. Dude. Hugs are a no. I forgive you. Just…yeah. So what’s up? Really.”
I took a moment to gather my thoughts.
“Roy. On our last mission there was a…criminal we captured that was…from my
past. We did not have a good relationship. It rattled me. I did not expect such
a thing to come up during my time on the surface. “
Or any time for that matter. We all swore that we would never bring it up. I
cannot wrap my head around what made Dardanus say what he did. Instead of mere
incarceration, he was now facing execution.
“It has been a struggle these past few days. Aquaman means well, but you know
how that goes. I like to solve my own problems.”
And Roy did know. Green Arrow tried. He still tries. Their problems mostly stem
from misunderstandings and personality differences.
“Kaldur we’re friends. We’re all assholes at least sometimes. Just don’t make a
habit of it. That’s my gimmick.”
I was grateful for his understanding. I could not afford to alienate such a
good friend.
I bade him farewell and made my way back to Mt. Justice.
 
Roy’s POV
In the end it was Kaldur’s anger that bothered me the most. I didn’t let on
that I felt something was up. I just knew it was bigger than an old
acquaintance from the past.
The guy had Kaldur shook.
It takes a lot to shake a man who is used to fighting literal monsters.
I made up my mind to give him his space, but to be on the lookout for any more
suspicious behavior.
I might have Robin check the guy out.
 
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
It was windy out, but it did not bother me. I was used to much colder
temperatures. It was the silence that nagged me. It was so dull. It gave me
more time to think than I needed.
I could not help slightly doubting my father. Not about him blaming me, but
that he would not take actions into his own hands. I had spoken with him about
it briefly when my mother was not in the room.
He takes protecting me and my mother very seriously.
I know he will try to locate these men and execute them if given even half the
chance. He did not get into Manta’s army by being unwilling to kill.
I know he is a changed man, but I believe he believes this situation justifies
it. I am not sure about my mother either. She is fierce when it comes to me.
She might even help. Subtly that is. She can not use her magic in any case.
I felt bad about leaving my parents early, but I was getting anxious being
around them. They were unsure of what to say to me, and I to them.
We never had a problem communicating before. This is just another thing I had
hoped to avoid. I am starting to regret telling them. Even now, I know they are
thinking about me. Worried about my health. Fretting over things they have no
control over.
I fear I will not uphold my promises to my parents. Already I had denied
sustenance from Roy twice that day.
I finally made it back to base where Aquaman was waiting for me.
Batman and Superman were there to.
I was suddenly tired. I just wanted to get in my tank and sleep until the
morning. If we did not have any missions, I was only responsible for keeping up
with my training.
I guess something in my posture was defensive because Batman and Superman
shared a look while Aquaman raised a brow.
“Kaldur’ahm. I hope your time with Red Arrow was beneficial. We have much to
discuss.”
“Can it not wait?” Even I heard the bite in my tone.
I do not know where that came from. I had not meant to say it. I just had the
sudden urge to test him. I was tired, but I was not that tired.
I could see the surprise clear on his face. On Superman’s too. I had never
denied such a reasonable request.
I am not mad at Aquaman.
I had to remind myself of that.
He is only trying to help me.
I have to internalize this.
Aquaman took his time answering.
“If you are truly tired you may convene to your quarters. It is not something
that cannot wait until the morrow.”
I tried to reign it in. I really did. I know he did not mean anything by it,
but I was overly sensitive for some reason.
Before I could stop the flow I words I blurted out what I thought about that.
“If I am truly tired? Would I lie about such matters?”
“Kaldur’ahm…I did not mean to suggest-”
“It does not matter. I am tired and I am taking my rest.”
I was scared. I had no clue why I was reacting this way to Aquaman. He has done
nothing against me. Instead of turning around and apologizing, I hurried to my
room.
 
Aquaman’s POV
“What was that?”
I was speaking more to myself than anything.
Batman answered anyways.
“This is not uncommon behavior for this kind of thing. I wouldn’t take it to
heart. He doesn’t mean to snap at you. It will subside in time. Give him room
to breathe. It’s easy to forget, but he is still a teenager. This won't be his
last mood swing.”
It is hard seeing Kaldur’ahm this way. I can see the merit in the Bat’s words,
but I feel like I have been grasping at straws for the past few days now.
What really baffles me is that Kaldur’ahm seems angry with me. I hope he does
not feel like I pressured him into talking with his parents. The more I think
about it, the more I wish I had pushed the meeting back a few days like I had
initially planned.
It was too much too soon.
All heroes with a protégé were given orders to keep them away from Mt. Justice
for the week or until further notice.
It is not as if they would not notice the absence of their leader.
M’gann and Connor will be staying with her uncle in his apartment.
“He needs help.”
Me and Batman turned to Superman. He was clearly pointing out the obvious.
“I mean he needs help that we are not equipped to give him. Canary is good at
her job, but she is not unbiased. She knows Kaldur. She works with him. He
needs to believe that whatever he says will stay with that person. Canary has a
certain limit that she can keep to herself. There are things she has to tell
us. Kaldur knows that too. He could be subconsciously holding things back.”
I heaved a troubled sigh.
“What you say is true, but I do not believe Kaldur would want to see someone
else. I will ask, but we must be prepared for a negative response.”
“As long as he’s getting help.”
 
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
I got to my room and started panicking. I told myself to calm down. To breathe.
But it was not working.
I could not make my body obey my mind. My limbs would not submit.
I was overtaken in another memory.
It came out of nowhere.
I slid to the floor. Remembering. Cringing. Gagging.
“Hurry Dardanus. We would like our turns too.”
My face was pressed against the ocean floor. I was breathing in water and sand.
I tried to focus on the sway of the water. But I could not hear her. She was
too far away.
But what I could hear was grunting. The only thing I felt was pain and
humiliation. When they got together it was so much more talking. So many more
things they would make me say.
“You enjoy this Durahm?”
I did not answer. He hit my backside with his open palm. It stung.
My answer was a weak yes.
They all laughed.
Dardanus finished and passed me to Kordax.
I was crying by then. Barely keeping it together. Kordax loved to make me beg.
To pretend.
My eyes followed his form.
He removed his clothes and lay on his back.
He was going to make me get on top.
“Come on Kaldur’ahm. Hop on.”
I flushed red from my neck to the tips of my ears.
I straddled him and he pulled me onto him.
He was much wider than Dardanus. He threatened me not to look away.
I kept my eyes on him but I let my mind wander.
He caught on and started making me engage.
“So tight. So small. You are the perfect size Kaldur. You take me so well.”
My tears were beyond my control by then. I just let him have his way.
“Tell me why we do this. Open your mouth and tell me.”
I gave the customary response.
“Because I deserve it. It feels good. I need this.”
Kordax finished quickly after that.
I was sore. I wanted to stop, but it is not as if they would have listened.
Next was Topo. Topo and Arion. Arion did not always join in. Mostly he took
pictures of me.
If anyone ever saw them they would be deceived. I looked happy enough in some
of them. If anyone cared to look they might notice my disheveled clothes, my
too shiny eyes, my fake smile.
Topo pushed me to my knees. I was ashamed at how grateful I was. I do not think
I would be able to sit if he had used me the other way.
Arion had the camera ready.
“Open up Kaldur’ahm. Yessss.”
I opened my mouth and Topo did the rest. He hardly ever had the patience to
make me do things on my own.
It was Arion who truly frightened me.
Arion was really big on talking.
I could barely breathe. Topo did not care.
His taste was bitter.
“That is it Kaldur. You are so pretty.”
I tried to block Arion out, but it was impossible.
“Look at that mouth.”
Topo did not break his pace. My chest was starting to burn. My knees were
scraping the ground, and because they had taken my clothes, I was completely
exposed.
Click!
“Perfect. You are perfect for this.”
Even as the others agreed, I hated when he said that.
Click!
“Take him down all the way. Just like that.”
He stepped closer and got a photo of me with Topo in my mouth. He always showed
them to me after.
Topo finished down my throat as usual. He then passed me to Kordax who would
clean me up and help me put my clothes back on.
I was moving to slow for them so Dardanus carried me to Arion’s study. Nobody
ever asked what we did in there.
“Sit Kaldur’ahm.”
I just looked at him.
He kept talking without missing a beat.
“Of course. You are probably feeling a little discomfort.”
A little discomfort?
“Very well. You may stand next to me.”
I moved to stand by him. The sooner we got this over with the better.
“You know what to do Kaldur’ahm.”
I took his member out of his pants and started rubbing him like he had taught
me to.
“Good. You are so good at this now. Remember the first time? You were so
nervous.”
He sounded like he was telling a story about the time I got a question wrong in
class.
He pulled out the pictures.
“This one is good. Hmmm. All you can see is your backside and you on your
knees. Classic.”
I did not say anything. I was not supposed to.
“I like this one too. Slower Kaldur.
I went slower.
“Aah. Yes. This one with you looking at the camera with your mouth full. Your
lips are so plump. It is no wonder Topo enjoys them so much. He makes your
mouth stretch. And those tears.”
He groaned deeply.
I kept twisting and jerking.
“Not many Atlanteans have tear ducts. You cry so beautifully. You know we do
not mean to hurt you right?”
I nodded my head.
“Good. It is important that you know that. Firmer Kaldur’ahm. Firmer. From the
top. Here.”
He repositioned my hands. I had to use both because one would not reach all the
way around.
He was sweating and panting in his chair.
I had been to this room so many times that I could recount the first 63 books
on his shelf by title and author without looking. My goal was to know the
entire top row.
It kept my mind occupied.
“Do you like this one? This is you on your back with Dardanus inside you.”
He always made everything sound dirtier than I remembered it.
“Your eyes are lidded. I can tell you were enjoying it.”
I was not. I was in pain. I was close to passing out, but it was just like
Arion to overlook that.
I knew what was next. His breathing had picked up. I knew better than to speed
up anymore. If he finished before he got to his favorite picture, I was in
trouble.
He pulled it out of his top drawer.
“This is my favorite.”
It was a picture of me completely naked and sleeping in his bed. You could tell
it was his bed because he had taken me to his home on one of the breaks. His
pillow with his initials embroidered on it was in between my legs.
He had me to lie to my parents and tell them that I was not taking one.
He took me only after most people had already left for break.
We went to a few shops where he made me buy things. He kept saying that money
was not an issue. I wanted to tell him that I did not want his things. But he
would have been furious with me. So I picked out random things that meant
nothing to me.
Things I would discard as soon as I could.
It was a week of hell but I survived.
“Kaldur!”
My memory had started to blur. Someone was calling me but I could not answer.
My vision went black.
 
Superman’s POV
I heard Kaldur choking from the other room. By the time we got there he was
curled up on the floor and his eyes were in the back of his head.
This just solidified my thinking earlier.
I tried calling his name but he didn’t respond. I swooped him up and flew him
to the infirmary. Batman and Aquaman were following me.
Chapter End Notes
     Please don't forget to comment
***** Chapter 8 *****
Chapter Summary
     Aquaman gives us a lesson on Atlantean Physiology and culture. Roy
     does some snooping. Kaldur tries to control his sudden temper.
Chapter Notes
     THIS CHAPTER VARIES A LOT MORE FORM THE ORIGINAL CHAPTER 8 I WROTE.
     THIS STORY WILL CONTINUE TO FOLLOW THESE NEW CHANGES.
     Same DISCLAIMERS & WARNINGS & TRIGGERS apply
     Please Comment
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Black Canary's POV
It's past time we sat Aquaman down and ask him about Kaldur'ahm's physiology.
Also a few notes on masculinity in Atlantis would help too. In order to get to
the root of Kaldur's problems I needed more back ground information.
There had been an emergency meeting called to brief us on Aqualad. He was not
doing well. Martian Manhunter had looked over him and given us his synopsis. It
wasn't very detailed. He knew what we knew.
"Aquaman, what can you tell us about Atlantean physiology?"
Aquaman's POV
I took a deep breath.
"You have to understand, Kaldur'ahm is an enigma even to us. No doubt you have
all noticed his webbed hands and gills. You have also noticed that I myself
have neither of those."
Everyone was waiting patiently. I was never open about Atlanteans. I could not
be sure it would not be used against us. The exception this time is because
Kaldur'ahm needs help.
"Kaldur'ahm, like myself, is only half Atlantean."
I could feel the curiosity peak in the room but before anyone could interrupt,
I kept talking. We were not here to discuss his parentage.
"There are certain things he is more sensitive to than full Atlanteans and
certain things he is nearly immune to. The sorcerers and healers do what they
can but, there is not another case exactly like his. No two hybrids are the
same."
"You say he is half Atlantean, I'm assuming the other half is human?"
Batman always saw things he should not.
"Yes."
"He visited his parents. Both of them in Atlantis. If one of them is human, how
can they live underwater? Is their physiology similar to Kaldur's?"
I had to remember I was talking to people who disregarded magic as valid.
"His father uses magic to allow him to stay in Atlantis. It is not because he
is genetically built like Kaldur'ahm."
I knew that would garner questions, but there was not time to question
everything.
"What else can you tell us?"
"There is not much about half human half Atlantean hybrids. Kaldur'ahm's magic
lies in his tattoos. While he has electricity running through his body, he has
not yet figured out a way to release it in any dose without harming himself."
"When was the last time he tried?"
I was hoping Canary was not suggesting he start trying again. She must have saw
the look on my face.
"I'm not going to try to make him, I just want a note of it."
"Of course. About 3 months before he came to the surface as Aqualad."
"How much exposure to water does he actually need? If he didn't have his suit,
which I'm pretty sure helps him retain moisture?"
I forgot that the Flash is a scientist. I mostly see him making ill timed jokes
and stuffing his face.
"It does help him retain moisture. The answer to your question is not a simple
one. Depending on the season, Kaldur'ahm needs varying water exposure to stay
hydrated. He requires much less water than most full Atlanteans because he can
control the water flow in his body. Some Atlanteans can never go on land while
others can for differing amounts of time."
He was scribbling down notes as was Batman too.
Superman wanted to know why Kaldur'ahm had gills and if it made it harder for
him to breathe on land.
"We are not sure of this ourselves. My physicians have come to the conclusion
that his body instinctively knows when he is under water and when he is not.
When he is not, his lungs work like any other humans and his gills are
practically decoration at that point. They do not seem to filter the air or
anything."
It was true. Whenever I took Kaldur'ahm to Gotham city he complained about the
air like everyone else.
"His having gills were purely based on chance. Some Atlanteans resemble fish-
like creatures and some appear more humanoid. Cross breeding is common so we
all have a sense of animal empathy and some, like myself, mind link with them."
"So you mean to say that you can talk to fish? And you never told us?"
There was a collective groan.
"Yes Flash. I can talk to fish."
"I did notice he was more receptive of telepathy than the others." This was
from J'onn.
"Even that has its limitations. Some can only mind link to hyper intelligent
species like dolphins and others to any sea creature. There is the matter of
distance, precision, strength, and the like."
I had never shared so much about my people, more specifically their
limitations.
There are things I did not say. Kaldur'ahm's suit, same as my own, is made of
very heavy material. We are used to the heavy pressure of being so deep
underwater. If we went long without the pressure and then tried to go back to
Atlantis, it would cause complications.
All Atlanteans possess super strength relatively speaking. Water is a heavier
medium than air. Being born under strenuous water pressures makes you stronger
than human children at birth.
Black Canary's POV
I cleared my throat and got the rooms attention.
"Based on J'onn's report Kaldur'ahm had an acute anxiety attack. It also
appears his caloric intake has dropped drastically. I know he's had issues for
the past few days, but does the decrease in food usually work this fast?"
"Usually he can withstand eating less food for a longer period of time. Not to
mention his stress levels are uncharacteristically high for him. I would say
that, added with the lack of sleep, knocked him out rather than not eating
enough."
I wasn't surprised by his assessment.
"However, Atlantean diet is protein based so that is something to note."
I made sure to catalog the information.
The next question I had would be a bit more personal, but I needed to know if
there was anything that Kaldur might be socially pressured by that I had not
anticipated.
"Is there anything I should be aware of regarding societal pressures?"
Aquaman gave me a strange look.
"Such as?"
"Well I know male rape victims tend to question their sexuality and masculinity
due to their assaults."
The whole room cringed when I said rape, but if we could not even say it to
ourselves how could we hope Kaldur to open up to us?
Orin seemed decidedly uncomfortable and took his time answering.
"It is not so much masculinity as it is warrior mentality."
Before now Green Lantern and Wonder Woman had not said much but, both being
warriors themselves, added in their own perspectives.
"I can understand that. When I came back from the war there were so many
soldiers with PTSD that chose to suffer in silence rather than seek help."
Wonder Woman spoke her piece.
"Who wants to think that the people protecting them are capable of breaking?"
The room got silent. The parallel between soldiers and superheroes was clear.
This is what I was worried about. Kaldur had already shown signs that he felt
he was not fit to lead. This could be the nail in the coffin.
If we let him resign he would lose his confidence, but on the other hand, if we
let him stick with it, he could possibly shut down.
Only time would tell.
Green Lantern's POV
I felt really bad for the kid. And that's what he is, a kid. Not only did he go
through this alone, but the way it was brought to everyone's attention was
rough. He will never get the chance to go to anybody on his own time with this
secret because it's out in the open already.
I'll do what I can. I know what it's like to think I always come second because
it's my job to put others first.
I've had people tell me that I was being selfish with my emotions. That
I willingly signed up for the army so I knew what to expect. That looking for a
little understanding was just me playing the victim.
For a few years I bought into that too. I ignored my own mental health and
pretended I was doing just fine.
But then I thought I had destroyed an entire planet (Justice League
reference) and I started taking my mental health more seriously.
Wonder Woman's POV
I'm having a really difficult time with all of this. I'm not sure how much I
should say. I know I have the tendency to see things as black and white, but I
can't help it. I want Kaldur'ahm's tormentors to come to justice.
And this is what scares me.
I try not to think about Kaldur'ahm.
It is easier to think about the wrong doers. I don't want to think about a
small and frightened child. I don't want to think about nightmares, eating
disorders, and pain.
I know this is a weakness. This did not happen to me and I am coming undone. I
don't know how to help.
Even if we get rid of the four beasts, Kaldur'ahm will not magically heal. I
don't know what to do with this information.
We have a child in the next room fighting for sanity and I'm worried about
feeling useless.
Hera give me strength.
Kaldur'ahm's POV
I woke up unsure of where I was or what was happening. I rubbed my eyes until
they cleared.
I was in the infirmary.
I was not sure why I was here, but then I remembered what happened.
I had not had a fainting spell in ages.
Upon further inspection I could see someone, likely Martian Manhunter, had left
a clicker close to my bed. I did not push it. I wanted some time to myself.
I needed to come up with a story that was believable when they found my bed
empty.
They would want to know why I lost consciousness and there was no way I was
going to tell them the truth.
I could not bring myself to want to push that button. I just wanted to go to my
room and swim. In fact, I got up to do just that.
On my way out of the door I saw a clipboard. It had my name on it. My file was
not big.
I went straight to the last entry to see what they had come up with.
There was not much there besides the obvious. That did not surprise me. Not
many knew much about Atlantean's.
What did surprise me was the footnotes.
Possible aversion to food. Monitor eating habits. Look into past eating
disorders. Patient has stated he doesn't think he can keep anything down.
My face felt tight.
Aquaman assured me he would keep me updated on things. He did not have to tell
the others to secretly monitor my eating habits. It just shows how much he is
starting to distrust me.
It hurts to think that. It hurts because they told me this would happen. That
if I ever told I would lose credibility. That, as a soldier, if I really wanted
them to stop I would have found a way.
And they are right. I could have told. I did not. I am losing credibility if
the footnotes are anything to go by.
I am beginning to unravel. I needed to go back to my routine. I needed to train
again.
Before I left the room I ripped up the file before I could second guess myself.
If they think I have a problem they need not be sneaky and spy on me, they can
come to me and ask. I am not a dishonest person. I am not sure how many more
slights I can take against my character.
And if they truly believe I have done nothing wrong, like they insist, then
they will have no problem with speaking to me about their concerns.
Roy's POV
I contacted Robin hours ago to look into a criminal caught on their last
mission in their database. I didn't tell him anything else. He tried to wheedle
it out of me, but I didn't want to put Kaldur in a compromising position so I
didn't even mention his name.
He got back in contact with me and told me nothing came up. That there were no
names in any system other than Manta henchman.
I thanked him, but couldn't quell my worry.
Kaldur'ahm was pretty shaken up about something, and if Batman decided not to
log it then it was bigger than I had originally thought.
Batman's POV
Superman cocked his head to the side.
"What is it?"
All eyes turned to him.
"I think Kaldur just woke up. It sounds like he's walking away from the room?"
Aquaman and Canary got up to go after him. Nobody moved to followed them.
Aquaman's POV
Kaldur'ahm's erratic behavior was getting progressively worse. It is customary
to leave a summoning device in a patient's room, and I know he has one. There
was no reason for him to leave without alerting anyone.
When we got to the room my heart sunk. He had already gone.
Canary's POV
Kaldur's file was ripped up and scattered across the floor. I couldn't think of
anything in his file that would have gotten him so upset. It was mostly just
facts about his age, height, and eye color.
Nothing that warranted the level of aggression displayed here.
It's not so much that ripping up a piece of paper is violent, but that to
someone who makes sure he doesn't even crease his papers would rip this one up
and then leave it lying on the floor.
Kaldur is immaculately neat. After he trains he puts his things away. After he
eats he cleans his own dishes by hand. Kaldur was going to snap anytime soon.
It would be good when he did. He would open up, say things that are hurtful,
maybe even cuss. But it will go a long way to helping him get better.
Kaldur'ahm's POV
I heard footsteps coming closer to my room. I was swimming laps in my tank. I
had no intention of stopping.
Aquaman and Canary stepped into my room. Aquaman closed the door. My heart
skipped a beat.
This is Aquaman. He's not going to do anything. Besides Canary is here. She
would stop him if he tried.
"Is something wrong?"
"You left your room without notifying anyone you were awake. We just wanted to
make sure you were alright."
Aquaman was never so hesitant with his words. I guess he remembered me getting
angry with him earlier.
"I regained consciousness and had no problem walking. I did not think it
required me notifying anyone."
Canary raised a brow. I could not help staring at the door. I wish he would
just open it.
"Kaldur do you mind getting out of the water for a few minutes?"
It was a reasonable request, even if I did not want to abide, so I got out. I
had to remind myself that I wanted to show them that I was functional. I just
needed to get back to my routine.
Canary took a step closer to me.
I got out of the tank.
"Kaldur. Would you like to tell me why you ripped up your file?"
I took my time responding.
"It was a spur in the moment decision."
"It happens. We can always make another file."
I nodded my head.
Aquaman took a step to me.
"Kaldur'ahm we need to know why you had a...fainting spell."
I barely managed to stop myself from glaring at him.
"It is nothing my king. I had just not eaten since this morning."
He eyes were distrustful. I was annoyed he did not believe me. Even though
I was lying.
He walked next to me and put his hand on my shoulder.
"Kaldur'ahm, you do not have to keep things from me. Anything you say will be
kept between us in this room."
As much as my king assured me that nothing would change between us, his actions
were already pointing to the contrary. He had never questioned my honesty so
much before. I could not contain the steel in my voice.
"I have told you. I had not eaten in hours. My body needed nourishment and did
not have it."
He sat me on the bed and everything began to unravel from there.
My mind was telling me I was in danger.
"Breathe Kaldur. This will not take long." 
No. This is Aquaman. This is the present. Besides, Canary is right there.
"Kaldur'ahm I promise to do my best to help you in anything you need."
He bent to my level.
"Take off your suit."
His eyes searched mines.
"I want you to know there is nothing you cannot tell me. It is true your
caloric intake has decreased, but it would take several days before such a
thing would render you unconscious. Even briefly."
He was so close. Calling me a liar without actually saying it.
My hands fisted the covers.
"I am fine."
Canary had not said anything. She was just watching us.
I did not expect it. 
"Can we do something else?"
Aquaman startled me. He stood suddenly and I was reminded of them.
Standing over me.
"No Kaldur'ahm. You must obey now. Remove the suit."
The door was closed.
Without thinking I punched. Hard.
There was no movement in the room. I was worried now.
"Forgive me my king. I did not mean to... I-"
He cut me off, holding up his hands slowly like he did not want to make any
sudden movement.
"It is alright Kaldur. I should not have startled you."
He was even speaking slowly. Leaving a breath between each sentence. Making
sure the words got through to me. 
Canary was in the background all but broadcasting pity.
I was losing myself. One minute I was angry and the next not. I do not know how
to reconcile it.
Aquaman's POV
I had not expected Kaldur'ahm to hit me. I knew he was on edge, but.
"Kaldur'ahm maybe you should have a seat. Try to breathe."
"No."
The defeat in his voice was becoming common place.
"Okay. Just tell me what you need for us to do."
His body went rigid.
"What do you need Kaldur'ahm?"
"Door."
His face flushed. I was confused.
"Excuse me?"
"The door."
I was still not following.
"Please. Open. The. Door."
It sounded like every word pained him to say. The implications of his request
were not lost on anyone in the room.
Canary swiftly opened the door. He only calmed down a bit.
Now the atmosphere was awkward.
I am grateful Canary was here. This was her area of expertise.
"Kaldur. Please let us help you. If you tell us your problems, we can be more
effective. We don't mean to pry. We just want to be thorough."
His eyes were dewy. His voice was little more than a whisper.
"Memories. A...bad one. I shut down?"
He phrased the last part like a question.
His emotions were all over the place. No doubt from years of emotional buildup.
"Will you tell us what it was about?"
He shook his head no.
"Is there anything you want to ask us?"
It was quiet for a moment. He only had one thing to say.
"I want to speak to Dardanus."
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Batman's POV
Robin is off. We were fighting Two-face. He hasn't been this distracted in a
while. He was making careless mistakes. Leaving himself open to attack. Pulling
his punches.
When we got back to the cave I asked him about it.
"Is there something the matter Dick?"
He removed his mask and stared into my eyes.
"What happened on our last mission? What are you keeping from us?"
I merely raised a brow. I know he didn't get any indication of anything being
amiss from me.
"What do you mean?"
He wasn't having it.
"Someone contacted me about a detainee from our last mission. I did some
digging. Everyone in League custody is interrogated. And every interrogation
comes with a video and paper copy. There is none for the last one. I know you
are covering something up. What is it?"
"It is not your concern."
"Who is he?"
"Stay out of it. It's League business."
He was angry.
"Maybe Speedy had the right idea. We are just sidekicks to you. You never tell
us anything and I know you're lying to me right now."
"So Roy contacted you?" I wasn't the World's Best Detective for no reason. I
know I couldn't have just asked him. He wouldn't have told me.
He looked frustrated.
"Who was he? What does he have to do with Roy?"
"No Dick, this is none of your business."
"Why? You don't trust me with it?"
I gave him a long hard look.
"That's not it and you know it. This case is a matter of privacy. And
a good man is caught in the middle of it. He deserves his confidentiality. He
is entitled to it. That is why I will not tell you anything."
I made up my mind to have a talk with Roy tomorrow.
Chapter End Notes
     Please leave a Comment or Kudo
***** Chapter 9 *****
Chapter Summary
     Breakfast with Canary.
Chapter Notes
     Same WARNINGS & TRIGGERS apply
     Please leave kudos & Comment
     I do not own Young Justice
     THIS CHAPTER IS A LOT DIFFERENT FROM THE ORIGINAL CHAPTER 9.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Canary's POV
I set up a meeting with Kaldur'ahm early this morning. 
Aquaman had already told him he would alert the League about his desire to
speak with Dardanus. I could tell Arthur wanted to just flat out say no, but a
subtle shake of my head told him that would be a horrible idea. 
Kaldur'ahm needs to feel in control of himself again. Dictating his actions
without considering his stance wouldn't help him at all. 
As far as I know, Aquaman's planning on bringing it up at the next meeting. I
have no hope that it will go over smoothly. 
He was right on time. He sat in the chair across from me. I handed him several
articles of reading material. He looked suspicious but took them from me.
I watched him thumb his webbed fingers through the pamphlets on childhood
trauma. He was uneasy. Not wanting to delve any deeper.
As he was reading through the material he would scrunch up his face up now and
again.
I wanted Kaldur to look over a few facts about trauma in your formative years
before I would try to convince him that it was in his best interest to talk to
me more openly.
"Kaldur?"
He looked at me for the first time.
"I'm going to give you a little assignment. I want you to read these articles
and I'm going to quiz you on them in a few days. In the meantime, do you have
any questions about anything you read? Or anything you just want to talk
about?"
"No."
I didn't expect him to be forthcoming.
"I noticed you still haven't eaten anything. Would you like to try this
morning?"
He clearly didn't, but he wasn't willing to fight me on it this early. We
hadn't even gotten into the harder things.
"There's some cereal in the kitchen. Maybe some diced fruit or-"
 "I am not a child. I can choose my own meals."
Technically he is a child, but there is no reason in pointing it out.
"Did Aquaman put you up to this?"
"Why would you think that?"
"These pamphlets include an Atlantean perspective. I do not believe such things
are common knowledge on the surface world."
Aquaman was right. Kaldur definitely noticed his involvement.
"He helped pick out some material, but he didn't put me up to anything. I
believe that this material will give you some outside perspective on
your...situation."
He broke eye contact. Kaldur is a very independent person. He likes to spend
time alone and often practices self-restraint. As leader of Young Justice and a
soldier of Atlantis, he is used to facing down everything from unruly children
to villains. 
"Would you mind if I asked you a few questions?"
He looked angry.
"You are attempting to trick me. If I say no, you will assume I cannot handle
myself, and if I say yes..."
I sighed.
"No Kaldur. I'm not. I just want you to know that I'm here to help you sort out
whatever it is you're feeling. If your emotions are hindering you in any way,
then I can help you get a lid on it."
"It is not as if I fall apart every time I am feeling out of sorts...just
sometimes."
I reached out and put my hand over his. I waited to speak until he made eye
contact with me.
"There's nothing wrong with that Kaldur. Sometimes things just happen and you
get overwhelmed and make brash decisions. We've all been there. Especially in
this line of work, but couple that with trauma and it can be dangerous. I don't
want to see anything happen to you."
Anything else I wanted to say.
He looked a little shamefaced.
"How about this? You ask anything you feel like? If I ask you a question and
you don't want to answer it, let me know and I'll move on. Is that okay?"
He took a minute to answer. No doubt considering the technicalities.
"I can try this."
I couldn't hide my smile of relief if I wanted to. I had a feeling he would put
up a fight later on, but for now he had assented to trying it out.
Kaldur'ahm's POV
"I believe there is something specific you wish to discuss?"
She gave me a pitying smile. I took a deep breath. I had to stick to the plan.
Do my usual routine. Talk to Canary. Eat. Sleep. If I could get a handle on
these things, then the League would stop doubting my ability to handle
my own problems.
My parents had sent me a message last night. No doubt they were filled in on my
latest episode. They asked our neighbor to cast a calling spell to speak with
me.
They looked worried and kept the conversation short.
They wanted to know if I needed anything. Wanted to talk about anything.
I told them no, and even though they knew it was a lie, they let me make it. 
That talk solidified the thought that my father was up to something. He looked
so broken when he looked at me. I would have to ask Garth to subtly keep tabs
on him. He would not ask questions.
Calvin Durham is a man of few words. I guess I got that from him. Not that my
mother is a big talker, just that my father is even more quiet. When he moves
his thumbs in circles around each other, he is thinking. It is a habit he had
never quite managed to break.
My father is a man who craves justice. 
I have a niggling feeling that he will try to do something. I would be most low
if he put himself in danger on my behalf. One mistake and he would be banned
from Atlantis permanently. Our family would never recover.
Canary's POV
"There is another matter."
I tried to feel him out, but he could be as removed from a situation as Batman
when he wanted.
"I would like to know your thoughts on what happened to you. Anything you want
to say to describe it."
He face looked a little ashen.
"Why?" He shot me a skeptical look. He wasn't sure what it would accomplish.
"Kaldur. The more you open up about it, the easier it will be to find balance.
I know I'm making it sound simpler than it really is, but that's the most basic
way to describe it."
He was quiet in contemplation for a few minutes. I didn't interrupt him.
"I did not like it...always."
He whispered the last part and immediately tried to backtrack.
"Breathe Kaldur. You haven't said anything wrong."
"I do not wish for you to misunderstand. I did not like it ever. I know it was
wrong. Everything about it was wrong."
I'd worked with enough people to know when to not interrupt.
He was grasping for words. Trying to get me to understand something.
Kaldur'ahm's POV
I had not meant to say that. I could not have her thinking that I enjoyed it.
She would think that I wanted it to happen.
I just meant that sometimes it was not painful. Sometimes I was weaker and
could not refuse my body's demands.
She would not see it that way. No normal person would.
I wish I could take the words back, but she had already heard them.
Canary's POV
"Kaldur'ahm I want you to listen to what I'm about to say and take it to heart
if you can ok?"
He only continued to stare at the table, but I knew he was listening.
"These things do not always hurt physically. Just because someone becomes
aroused doesn't make it okay. It doesn't mean they deserved it or welcomed it.
Flesh reacts to physical stimulus. It's a perfectly normal reaction."
He just began to shake his head repeatedly.
"Kaldur?"
"Do not do that. You do not have to tell me that to make me feel better.
I know. I understand. I should have never felt... good. Do not coddle me. I
know better."
I wanted to pull him into a bear hug and never let go. If I weren't one of the
good guys I would end Dardanus while he was still in our custody. People like
him don't deserve second chances.
"I'm not just saying that Kaldur. This has happened to people before. An orgasm
doesn't absolve a crime nor does it make you guilty."
I could tell he wanted to believe me. He understood it on a philosophical
level, but his heart hadn't caught up yet.
"But I should not have. What they did was not right. It was wrong. All of
it...all of it."
"What did they do?"
His sea green eyes pleaded with my blue ones.
He looked so defeated. Willing the words to stay in his throat.
"They raped me. Many times."
His voice had a weird lilt to it.
It was a hollow victory.
I felt like a knife had been twisted into my heart. He needed to say it, but it
didn't make anything any easier.
He looked surprised that he actually used the word.
"Yes, they raped you. And it wasn't your fault. None of it was."
The tears began to fall and his breathing was shaky.
"It wasn't your fault Kaldur."
He dropped his head in his hands and cried more earnestly then.
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Batman's POV
It was clear Roy was struggling financially. His apartment was completely
devoid of any real sustenance and it was nearly bare.
No one could say superheroing was a lucrative occupation. I would have to tell
Oliver to help him as subtly as he could. Roy was a proud kid. He'd probably
already refused Oliver's help before.
I had been waiting in his apartment for over two hours. I heard when he got to
the door. The slight hesitation to turn the knob let me know he knew someone
was there.
His instincts were good for someone only in the business for a few years.
My assumptions were proven correct when he opened the door and his bow was
aimed at me.
I could tell he was surprised to see me. I could also see the lines of fatigue.
He had just gotten off patrol. It's why I came now.
Tired people snap easier and have looser tongues. Roy was stubborn and I would
need all the help I could get to extract information from him. Kaldur'ahm was
his best friend and, to my knowledge, his only real friend. He got along with
Dick and Wally but they were 5 and 3 years younger than him. Besides that,
he initiated conversation with Kaldur and actively sought out his company.
He lowered his bow but didn't set it down.
He rolled his eyes and gave a heavy sigh.
"Bats."
If I was Bruce right now I would have smirked.
"We need to talk about Kaldur'ahm."
"Well if they sent the big guns then it's more serious than I originally
thought."
"What all did he tell you?"
He walked fully into the room and set his bow behind his recliner. He was
exhausted.
"Why don't you tell me what you know and I'll let you know if he told me that
or not?"
Ugh. Teenagers.
"I understand you want to protect him, but I assure you I am more aware of the
situation than you are. I just need to know how much to reveal to you."
He considered it for a bit and decided to answer me.
"Just that he ran into someone he used to know."
That's all he was going to give me.
Roy's POV
No way am I telling him everything. Kaldur is my friend. The Justice League is
just my used-to-be employers. Not very trusting one's at that. I don't owe them
anything anymore. I don't have to prove myself to anyone.
I could have told him how off Kaldur was. How I knew something serious was
going on because they were hiding it. Trying to cover something up. But I
respected Kal enough not to pry too much.
I could have told him about his little episode, but that's none of his
business. I'm not even sure why they sent Batman anyway.
He can catch a million bad guys but, when it comes to emotional wounds, he's as
useless as I am.
"Kaldur'ahm is going to need a friend right now. Just keep looking out for him.
That's all I will say."
Something in his tone caught me off guard. If I wasn't completely sober I could
swear I detected sympathy.
Of course I know he's capable of it. He is a hero after all, but he
doesn't show it.
"Of course I'll look out for him."
"Good. Nobody knows we had this talk."
Yeah right.
"Yeah no. I'm not going to lie to Kaldur like you guys lied to us. He deserves
better than that. He's the most honest among us. And the most understanding. He
still hasn't figured out how much you guys don't treat us like equals. No way
am I going to be the one lie to him!"
The room was quiet for a while.
"Tell him if you feel you must. But know that he really is having a hard time
right now."
And with that he was out of the window. I guess the front door
wasn't Batty enough for him.
Aargh.
I hate stuff like this. I know Kal. If I tell him Batman showed up he'll shut
down because he'll think they think he can't handle himself, but if I don't
tell him and he finds out later...well trust is very important to Kaldur.
He would forgive me overtime, but it would never be the same.
Kaldur'ahm's POV
I sat next to Canary while I ate my breakfast. I could not tell you what it was
because I was not thinking about it.
I can tell Canary knows I am not thinking about the food too, but she took
mercy on me and pretended not to notice.
It was the first time I had used the word rape.
It sounded so much more real now.
I was slowly drowning in despair. Thinking of all the times I considered
*resting with Poseidon but never knowing how to go about it.
I can tell Canary wants to talk to me, but I am not up to it.
Just remembering hands, quick touches, rough squeezes, dirty words, and vile
threats was enough to clam me up.
I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I had not noticed the new presence in
the room.
"Aqualad are you okay?"
I snapped out of it.
I could see the genuine concern on M'Gann's face and I wanted it to go away.
The last thing I needed was anyone on the team to see me in this state. If I
was going to get better, I had to do it apart from them.
She was never supposed to be here. She should have been with her uncle.
I could not keep some of the fire out of my voice.
"Why are you here?"
Canary looked ready to intervene, but it was not needed. M'Gann is an empath.
She easily gleans emotions. I just hope she did not pick up any stray thoughts.
That is not a situation I am prepared to handle.
M'Gann's POV
I came here to get a cookbook I had left behind. I had not expected Aqualad and
Black Canary to be eating breakfast together.
Well, Aqualad was eating.
When I stepped into the room I was overwhelmed with grief, but not my own. It
took me a second to conclude the source was coming from Kaldur'ahm.
After recognizing that, I was quick to shut off our mental link. I didn't want
a repeat of last time.
It was difficult to keep the link closed because Kaldur'ahm's emotional state
was going haywire right now. His mental walls were weakening and subconsciously
reaching out to me. Seeking solace.
"Why are you here?"
I could tell he didn't mean it to be rude. He had not wanted me to see him like
this. I had no intention of intruding on him. He was clearly having a session
with Canary now that I thought about it.
"I came to get a cookbook. I didn't mean to interrupt anything. I'll just get
it and go so you can get back to...whatever you were doing."
He made to stop me but I already knew what he was thinking.
"Don't worry this isn't something anyone else needs to know about."
He looked visibly relieved, but I could still feel his wariness. I decided to
quickly get the book and leave.
When I left Canary was whispering to him.
Connor's POV
Ever since M'gann got back from Mt. Justice she was real quiet. She even
managed to make half decent cookies, which really let's you know something was
up.
Usually when she cooks she's so excited that she forgets things because she
can't focus. It makes for interesting meals.
But since my stomach is nearly indestructible and her uncle is, well her uncle,
we take it in stride.
"What's up?"
"Nothing."
I sat next to her for 47 minutes in utter silence before she cracked.
"It's Aqualad."
I was curious now. Me and Kaldur had a strange relationship. He was my friend
slash big brother. He was the first one to talk to me like a human when he
helped break me out of the pod.
"What happened?"
"Nothing. He just seemed kind of down today."
I know M'Gann. She's been practicing with her uncle to block out subtle changes
in emotion so she could function better in high school were teenagers' hormones
were out of control.
She might have still picked up on his stress because we are around each other
so much and she's used to him. To all of us. It makes her extra sensitive to
our mood changes.
However, I also know she's hiding something when she plays with her sleeves.
"I know there's more. You know I won't say anything, or look at him
differently. I was wondering when he'd start showing how stressed he really is.
He's as real as the rest of us. Besides, I have an outburst at least twice a
day. Who am I to judge?"
She was chewing her lip now.
"It was different this time. He felt like he was drowning in guilt. He felt
completely lost. I've never seen him like that before. I guess it kind of
scared me. He's the leader you know. I'm just so used to him handling things
better than the rest of us. He's like the Batman of our team you know?"
I did know.
Kaldur'ahm's tendency to put everyone first usually means that we overlook how
he takes care of himself. We take it for granted because Kaldur'ahm was a child
soldier.
He has actually fought in a war.
When he has a problem, he tackles it head on.
"Whatever it is, if it's really serious I'm sure he'll ask for help. He's
responsible. He'll get better."
She gave me a weak smile.
"I know. Just don't say anything to anyone ok? I wasn't even supposed to tell
you."
"No problem."
 
Note: When Kaldur'ahm says he was considering *resting with Poseidon he is
referring to suicide.
Chapter End Notes
     Don't forget to comment :)
***** Chapter 10 *****
Chapter Summary
     Kaldur’ahm, Calvin, and David; Kaldur talks to Roy
Chapter Notes
     Sorry for the LONG hiatus. Life picked up and only just started
     settling down for me.
     As always, I don’t own ANYTHING DC related. Same warnings apply.
     Please feel free to comment!
     (P.S. I WOULD RECOMMEND AT LEAST RE-READING THE LAST CHAPTER. I
     CHANGED A LOT IN IT)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
                                        
Sha’lain’a’s POV
“Should we tell him about David?”
I had always hoped to tell Kaldur’ahm of his biological father when he had
reached the age of majority. It was looking like that timeframe might be sped
up a year or two.
“Sweetheart. I don’t think that’s very wise. Kaldur’ahm is very sensitiveright
now. That information could break him.”
I hated secrets. Oh, they were necessary at times, but they hurt all the same.
“We will need his help in order to reach those who dared harm our son. It has
been years since David and I have spoken. The last time was when Kaldur’ahm was
13. He might not feel the same about him anymore.”
“We’ll see.”
 
FLASHBACK
Sha’lain’a’s POV
“Sha’lain’a, he is my son too. Or have you been so busy playing house with
Calvin that you’ve forgotten that little fact?”
“He’s 9 David. He wants to practice magic. To help Atlantis be even better! Do
not try to use him for your own selfish purposes.”
We had been going back and forth about this for the past hour.
“9 will turn into 19 before you’re ready to tell him the truth. We agreed that
he would at least know about me.”
“Of course he knows about you! Black Manta is seen destroying things both in
the Oceans and on the surface all the time. He hates you. He hates what you
do!”
We were both yelling by then. Calvin had taken Kaldur’ahm on a trip to the
city.
“He knows what they want him to see! He doesn’t know me and that’s because you
won’t let me near him. If I just had a little time with him to-”
“I’m just trying to protect our son!”
“And yet you won’t afford me the option of doing the same! I never took you for
a hypocrite Sha’lain’a.”
Every time we get together he tried to tear me down. He would never understand
that Kaldur’ahm came first.
“I am no hypocrite. I put that life behind me.”
“You used to have such vision.”
“I still do. But they include my son now.”
It was silent for a beat.
“At least allow me to pay for his schooling.”
“With ill-gotten money? If anyone ever found out the funds came from you, we
would be run out of our homes. I would be executed for treason! It is too
risky.”
“You won’t tell him about me. You won’t let me talk to him, and you won’t take
my money to support him! I’m running out of options here Sha’lain’a.”
It was not nearly as simple as he was making it out to be. Just speaking to him
was dangerous. The thought of anyone catching him here sends shivers down my
spine.
“You could always renounce your ways.”
We both gave a soft smile at that. It was an age old argument between us. When
I found out I was pregnant with Kaldur’ahm, my views on the world began to
change. I spent many nights, trying in vain, to win David over.
“I can’t do that. I won’t do that.”
He was looking directly at me now.
“I’m not all bad Sha’lain’a.”
Of course not. His ambition, his leadership skills, his charm, all were things
that allured me to him from the beginning. I used to be able to envision his
future so clearly, but as time wore on, and lives were lost, I lost that
innocence.
“I know. One day he will know of you. Just not now. Give him a chance to make
up his own mind about what he wants from life.”
 
***End of Flashback***
 
Present Day
Calvin’s POV
It wasn’t easy for me to admit that we needed David’s connections. I still had
a few contacts from my days as a henchman, but none high up enough to get me
where I needed to get.
Those men would pay. I would hate for their deaths to get back to Kaldur, but
it wasn’t anything less than they deserved.
I’m not even worried about speaking to David again. He’d stopped being Black
Manta to me years ago. When he decided that a life of violence was more
important than Sha’lain’a and Kal.
No.
We would take David’s help, but we won’t tell Kaldur about him just yet. It’s
too much too soon. And if I’m being completely honest, I can’t stand the
thought of him thinking of someone else as his father.
“Let’s just fill him in first.”
“Okay.”
Sha’lain’a left the room.
 
Black Manta’s POV
It was easy avenging my father. He was more like me. Or I was more like him. I
knew what I had to do. Kill the man who killed him. And if I could not, then
get even. It was simple.
Kaldur’ahm was not simple. I was not like him. He was not like me. We were both
proud to be sure, but he was gentle where I was not.
He believed in second chances.
I know better.
When Sha’lain’a managed to get into contact with me I knew it was about him. We
had nothing to talk about other than our son.
 
Sha’lain’a’s POV
“Come quickly Calvin, contact is being established.”
I would never risk using my magic unless it was important.
David’s face came into view. His helmet was sitting next to him. I could not
help but notice the resemblance between him and Kaldur’ahm. I am certain Calvin
was too.
“We must speak quickly. It is Kaldur’ahm.”
“What of him?”
I made brief eye contact with Calvin.
“We have been notified of the most heinous news regarding his time in the
Atlantean Army.”
“Meaning?”
I looked to Calvin to finish the rest. It did not escape my notice that they
were doing their best to ignore the other.
“There were four men at the school who…raped him. It appears it was a regular
occurrence. Once of the men is in your ranks. His name is Kordax. We cannot get
to the other two just yet. Arion of Poseidonis and Topo of Dyss. Another is in
custody and we learned this from him. His name is Dardanus.”
It was several seconds before David spoke.
“This will be taken care of. Kaldur’ahm. My son. Is he…”
“He is managing as well as he can. We did not force him to stay here.”
“So he’s still on the surface?”
“Yes.”
“This actually works better. Less of a chance for him to find out how Kordax
will be tortured and summarily executed.”
David’s voice had taken on an increasingly venomous tone.
“I will keep you updated.”
He closed the line of communication.
 
David’s POV (Black Manta)
Kaldur’ahm is not me.
He does not live for vengeance.
It is the only thing Sha’lain’a and Calvin have taught him that I can be proud
of.
I had to keep reminding myself of this.
My son, who didn’t know me, was hurting and I couldn’t go to him.
But it seemed there was some way I could help him after all.
I donned my helmet and pushed a button calling for a guard.
“Bring me Kordax.”
 
At The Watchtower
 
Aquaman’s POV
“He wants to talk to Dardanus? I hope you told him no. I don’t have the time to
list all of the reasons that would be a bad idea.”
I was inclined to agree with Superman, but Canary cautioned me not to dismiss
Kaldur’s request so lightly. Even if we decided that he could not have access
to the criminal, we would need to let him know we had truly considered it.
He deserves nothing less.
“Canary explained to me that it would be in his best interest to take his
request to heart and discuss it at length. While I agree that it is a bad idea,
I do not want to be the one to tell him no. Especially if we cannot come up
with several reasons why he cannot.”
“Bu-”
“Of course I believe it is too soon, but I also know Kaldur’ahm would not be
amenable to that being pointed out. I will not dismiss him out of hand.
Regardless of my affection and concern for him and his well-being.”
Superman turned to Batman who had not spoken yet.
“What do you think Batman?”
 
Batman’s POV
“I think he isn’t ready. Dardanus talks too much. He’d only try to get a rise
out of Aqualad. We don’t need to give him the opportunity.”
“I agree, but is that how we’re going to pitch it to Kaldur’ahm?”
 
Aquaman’s POV
My utility belt started to light up. I was being hailed.
“I have matters to attend.”
I left the hall and went into a more private location.
“This is Annex Orin. Speak.”
 
Flash’s POV
“Batman I need to speak with you.”
The caped avenger merely got up and followed me out of the room.
“I don’t know how long we can keep the kids from finding something out. Just
yesterday Wally asked me what was going on. Apparently, he’s been talking to
Robin.”
“I know. I told Robin it was League business. He is going to pry. That’s why we
haven’t put anything in the formal records.”
“Good. I’d hate for Aqualad to have to go through this again. And so soon.”
We walked back into the meeting room.
 
Black Manta’s POV
This was not an interrogation. Kordax, my Lieutenant, was guilty. This was not
me trying to extract information. I didn’t want to hear anything this time. I
didn’t want to know specifics. If he had given me specifics, I would have gone
after his family too.
This was pure and simple revenge.
He didn’t fight it after I told him who my son was. He understood it was his
end.
Beating him wasn’t doing anything to quell my anger. It was time for him to
die.
After I gave the finishing blow, I hailed two guards to dump what was left of
him in front of the army school in Shayeris with a short message intended for
The Usurper.
 
Aquaman’s POV
“What does it say?”
“Protecting my son in ways you cannot.”
“Has the rest of his body been found?”
“Just his head sire.”
“Keep me updated.”
 
Superman’s POV
“We can’t keep him in our custody forever. He has to be moved to Atlantis
eventually.”
 
Green Lantern’s POV
“Maybe we should let his father have Dardanus. Save ourselves the trouble.”
My statement was met with less disagreement than I thought. The only ones who
protested were the Flash and Superman. More so out of common decency than any
real conviction.
All heads turned when Aquaman walked back into the room.
“Dardanus cannot be moved to Atlantis anytime soon.”
“Why?”
 
 
Aquaman’s POV
“His head was found floating in front of the army school Kaldur’ahm went to.”
I did not tell them about the message. It was not my place to tell them of
Aqualad’s true parentage, or Calvin’s and Sha’lain’a’s criminal history.
There was no sound in the room.
Batman asked the question they were all wondering.
“Was it his father?”
I did not hesitate.
“No.”
Technically it was not a lie.
They did not ask questions and I offered no further information.
“I should tell Kaldur’ahm.”
 
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
Aquaman had summoned me. When I got there I knew the news would be grave.
“Annex Or-”
“Please take a seat Kaldur’ahm.”
My heart was racing in my chest. I did not think they would have come to a
decision already.
I took a seat.
“There is no other way to say this than to just say it.”
I waited.
“Kordax is dead. His head was found floating in front of the army school at the
Shayeris branch.”
Nothing in me wanted to believe it.
“Did my father…?”
I could not finish the question.
“No. He did not.”
He was looking down when he said it.
I knew I should have talked to Garth sooner. But if Aquaman was saying it was
someone else then surely he was letting my father get away with it. I do not
know what to say to my parents.
My father always had a severe edge to him, but my mother did as well. It is
more likely that they both had something to do with it.
I never wanted this for them.
 
Aquaman’s POV
“Did my father…?”
He could not begin to understand the complexity of his question. Calvin and
Sha’lain’a most definitely got in contact with Manta.
With the use of magic she was strictly forbidden to use. But how could I fault
them? I know it must have been hard to speak with Black Manta.
Knowing that nothing you ask of him is ever freely given.
He would definitely be calling in on the favor.
“No. He did not.”
It was the truth and lie all the same.
 
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
I needed to speak to my parents. But what would I say to them? How would the
conversation go with none of us speaking the obvious? I should have made it
clear I did not want them to interfere.
I needed to find a way to get back to Mt. Justice. I need to talk to Roy. After
my fainting spell, they had relocated me to the Tower. I had been here ever
since.
It is not like I was being held prisoner.
I decided.
I would ask Aquaman to take me back to Mt. Justice. I could see no reason he
would deny me.
“Can I go back to Mt. Justice?”
He looked startled that I had spoken.
“There is no one at Mt. Justice right now Kaldur’ahm. You would be there
alone.”
I could hear the trepidation in his voice.
“I can take care of myself.”
 
Aquaman’s POV
There was no way I was letting him go alone.
“Is there something you needed from there? I could send the Flash to get
whatever it is?”
It was quiet while he sized me up.
“Space. I do not want to be here for longer than necessary. It is for League
members. Which I am not.”
Guilt. It was not like Kaldur’ahm to take digs. He understands that the main
thing in the way of his being a full League member is his age.
“I am done here. I could take you back.”
“Gratitude.”
 
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
I hated to do it, but I need to get from under the watchful eye of Aquaman. I
just needed to play this right.
He would escort me back to Mt. Justice and I would stay in my room until
nightfall when his guard was down.
Then I would make my way over to Red Arrow.
“Excellent. Just let me make our departure known.”
I bowed and he left the room.
 
Aquaman’s POV
“He wants to go back to Mt. Justice. It is the least I can do. After the murder
of Kordax, he must be pensive around us. He would probably feel more
comfortable in his own room.”
“Just be sure to keep an eye on him.”
With a nod, I was out of the door.
 
** At Mt. Justice **
 
Aquaman’s POV
I should have never let my guard down. I forget sometimes that Aqualad is a
teenager. I just did not think he would steal away in the night like he had.
I tried calling him but I received no answer.
I was loathed to call the League and tell them Kaldur had slipped away from me.
 
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
Tula and Garth were too far away to go to them before morning. Aside from that,
even I can admit that our friendship has seemed more strained as of late. Our
lives have taken different paths. That commonality we used to share does not
always seem to be enough anymore.
But it was not the same with Roy. We never had a whole lot in common to begin
with. Our friendship was slow getting started, but it had waxed strong trial
after trial.
By the time I got to his apartment he was on top of the roof about to go
patrolling. I had arrived just in time.
“My friend.”
“K-Aqualad?”
“I need to talk to you. Somewhere private.”
I could tell he was thinking.
“I have a place.”
 
Red Arrow’s POV
I took Kaldur to an old hideout. One not even Ollie knew about. The closer we
got, the heavier the weight on my stomach.
The entire trip was spent in complete silence.
When we arrived and got as comfortable as we were going to get, I started
telling him about my visit from Bats.
“I didn’t tell him anything. Couldn’t get anything out of him either. He just
told me to look out for you, that you would need a friend.”
I looked to where Kaldur was hunched over in thought.
“He said nothing in particular?”
“No. We didn’t talk long and he left shortly after that. I told I was going to
tell you about it.”
“I was not being entirely truthful the other day.”
“We all have secrets Kal. I understand if you don’t tell me everything.”
He didn’t look appeased. There was something eating at him and he was choosing
me to tell it to. I couldn’t fuck this up. He might never get it off his chest
otherwise. Kal is a bottler. He keeps his problems to himself. I was being
entrusted with something serious here.
“I know that I do not have to tell you. However, I need to. Aquaman is doing
his best, but he does not know when to take a step back and it makes me
agitated. I have lost my temper more than once against him. Canary… she pities
me. I would not be surprised if the entire League did as well.”
I was afraid to ask what it was.
“What happened?”
 
**Back at Mt. Justice**
“You lost him?”
“I tried calling him several times, but it turns out he left his comm device. I
found it floating in his tank.”
“Any clue where he could be?”
“No Superman. He does not know many people.”
“Do you want us to help look for him?”
“No. He said he needed space. He could just be going for a walk.”
He looked unsure but took my word for it.
“If you change your mind the Flash and Green Lantern are on standby.”
 
**At the Hideout**
Kaldurahm’s POV
This would not be easy. But at least it was my choice to tell Roy.
“The man from my past. He was from my days in the Atlantean army.”
I could see Roy’s eyebrow go up. I never talked about my life before Aqualad.
“He was one of the several trainers there. But before I start with him, I
should give you background information.”
He simply nodded his head.
“I never had many friends. I was not very approachable. It was lonely. I left
home for Army prep when I was 11. I thought I could start over, but making
friends was not something I succeeded in.”
Not until much later then, but by then the damage had been done.
“Days went by and nothing changed. I was at the top of my class, but there was
still a void in my life. A few of the trainers, four of them, took me under
their care. They gave me pointers, checked my work, and most importantly they
talked to me.”
This was getting harder to do.
“Things were fine for a while. Until they were not. I was not nearly as astute
at 11 as I am now. I should have known something was up.”
I took a few moments to steady my voice.
“One of my trainers got very…familiar with me. I knew it was wrong, but I was
frozen in place. He apologized later on and I vowed to put it behind me. I
wanted desperately to believe that things could go back to normal. But things
were never the same after that. Eventually, things escalated. The three other
trainers were the same. They were in my company a lot.”
I did not risk a glance at Roy. I had heard the grip on his bow tighten.
 
Roy’s POV
I don’t know what I was expecting to hear but it wasn’t this. Kaldur had not
actually confirmed what I was thinking. I could be wrong. This could be one of
those Atlantean things. Something we would laugh about later. A cultural
misunderstanding.
“Familiar?”
I heard the tremble in my voice.
He just looked at me. Eyes suspiciously red.
 
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
I did not want to spell it out, but I knew he would not leave anything up to
chance. He needed to be sure he understood what I was saying.
I tried to keep the tears out of my eyes, but I am sure I failed.
“Our relationship was not one of a willing nature.”
“I…I’m not sure I understand Kaldur.”
He was forcing himself to keep eye contact with me.
“They touched me. Rubbed against me. Took pleasure from my body as they saw
fit. I was a child. I would run and hide. Pretend to be sick. Go to bed early.
Beg if I had to. Nothing ever worked. They never cared what I wanted. What I
did not want. For years I thought it would never end. I thought about ending
things-”
The crack of Roy’s bow was loud.
“Your bow.”
 
Red Arrow’s POV
“Your bow.”
“Forget the bow Kaldur.”
I had to steady myself.
“This man. Is he still in custody? Who are the others? Where are they now? I
need names.”
Damnit!
I was angry. Angrier than I had ever been. Kaldur didn’t deserve this. Wasn’t
anyone fucking taking care of the kids? No one noticed anything? Bullshit. I
know a cover-up when I see one.
His soft voice broke my thoughts.
“Calm down my friend. Please. These things are in the past.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. Not about something like this. How could he
possibly stay calm at a time like this?
“Calm down? Kaldur those bastards raped you! I should hunt them down myself and
cut off their fucking hands! Make an example out of their sorry carcasses. What
kind of filth hurts a defenseless child? Kaldur? Shit! Dude, please don’t cry.
Shit. Shit. Shit. I’m sorry Kal. You know I talk too much. I never know when to
shut up.”
I wasn’t expecting him to cry. I swear I didn’t mean to make him cry.
 
Kaldur’ahm’s POV
I tried to keep myself under control, but seeing Roy angry on my behalf was
liberating. He was not cool and collected like the League. Who wanted to take
matters into their own hands, but would never say it to me.
The League coddled me and kept their truest thoughts away from me. All the
while wanting me to trust them, and not trusting me.
I only sobbed harder when I felt Roy’s hand on my shoulder.
I knew I was making him uncomfortable, but the tears would not stop.
“The League knows…they can barely look at me. They are on eggshells around me.”
My breaths were scattered.
“I had to tell my parents, and I think they had one of the men killed Roy. He
is dead because of me. If I had said something years ago then maybe-”
He would not let me finish that sentence.
 
Roy’s POV
I couldn’t let Kaldur put this on himself. I’m not exactly upset the guy was
killed. I’d congratulate his parents, but Kaldur seemed really torn up about
it.
He’s probably worried they’ll be in trouble.
“Don’t blame yourself Kal. There’s no way to know for sure what would’ve
happened. None of it was your fault anyways. As far as your parents go, you
don’t know they had anything to do with it. I wouldn’t worry about it just
yet.”
“Don’t do that.”
I was truly confused.
“Do what?”
His voice came out hoarse.
“Do not tell me I am not at fault here. I have caused trouble for many people I
care about and look up to. They are involved because of me.”
“They are involved because they care. I care!”
“I do not think I can keep all of this in anymore. I am not sure how much
longer I can function like this.”
“You don’t have to. Do this alone I mean. I know I went off, but anything you
want to tell me I’ll listen to. No judging. I won’t even talk if you don’t want
me to. Just promise me that if you ever think about hurting yourself you’ll
tell me. Please promise me.”
He looked hesitant to answer me. It wasn’t a good sign.
“I will tell you my friend.”
I gave him a shaky smile.
“Tell me how to help you Kal.”
It was a while before he responded.
“I am not sure of that myself.”
That wasn’t promising either.
“Is there anything you want to do right now?”
He looked a little lost.
“Can we just sit here?”
“Of course.”
We sat there until dawn broke.
 
Chapter End Notes
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End Notes
     I don't know why all of my works are so dark, but I could not get
     this concept out of my head. You can thank live journal and Young
     Justice for being renewed for a 3rd season.
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