Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1047533.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Underage
  Category:
      F/F
  Fandom:
      Avatar:_The_Last_Airbender
  Relationship:
      Azula/Ty_Lee_(Avatar), Toph_Bei_Fong/Original_Female_Character
  Character:
      Azula_(Avatar), Ty_Lee_(Avatar), Toph_Bei_Fong, Aang_(Avatar), Mai_
      (Avatar), Iroh_(Avatar)
  Additional Tags:
      Sex, Explicit_Sexual_Content
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-11-16 Chapters: 23/? Words: 63311
****** Dreams Gone By ******
by animationisart
Summary
     Strings of memories and bad decisions. When Azula finally gets a
     chance to be free, can she learn how to forgive all those who hurt
     her or did her wrong in the past?
***** Chapter 1 *****
“Azula, this is Ty Lee. She’s here to play with you today.” The six year old
child could not comprehend why her mother kept trying to find other girls to
play with her. She had no interest in them. She would much rather be playing
with her older cousin, who would play war with her. Or she would rather be
training with her father. Why her mother insisted she spend time with girls was
beyond her. Wasn’t spending time with her silly little sister good enough? It
was already annoying enough to play with that little four year old every day
for an hour. The little Princess that no one really cared about. No one looked
at her, she was even less valuable than Zuko. They were just going to marry her
off to the noble willing to pay the most. And maybe that’s why Azula played
with her, because she felt a twinge of guilt.
Azula looked at the little girl in front of her without much interest. She wore
pink, a horribly blindingly girly color that had no place in the royal palace.
At least all of the other girls had worn red. The other girl looked like she
was assessing Azula as well, and her face suddenly broke out into a large
smile. That startled Azula, as most little girls didn’t like her. They didn’t
smile, or even pretend to be interested by her. They mostly feared her, feared
her like no one else ever would. She didn’t know if she liked being feared
more, or having a little girl actually smile at her.
“Do you want to play with me?” Azula looked at the girl up and down.
“What kind of game are we going to play? I don’t want to play any silly girly
games you know. I don’t have time for dolls and dresses.”
“We can play anything you want to play!” That also confused Azula. Most girls
insisted that they play with dolls or played dress up. This little girl didn’t
care?
“How about war?”
“Okay! Just tell me how to play!”
~
Azula’s eyes slowly fluttered open. She was happy to actually have a nice dream
for once, because when she woke up, it was always in hell. She hated her cell,
she hated everything about the place. But most of all she hated that it
represented her failure. The betrayals that had been, the loss she felt. She
couldn’t believe that she actually missed that little acrobat, with her
constant prattling and pink attire. She slowly sat up, and noticed her sister
sitting in the cell with her. She looked nothing like either of their parents,
but apparently she looked more like their grandmother. Her long brown hair was
free, like normal and her green eyes penetrated everything they looked at.
Azula had finally taught her well, if it was only to have that look about her.
“You’re here awfully early today aren’t you? Couldn’t stay away from the loony
bin?”
“Actually you slept in today.” Azula never slept in.
“What time is it?”
“It’s almost noon. You never sleep this late. Did you not have a nightmare?”
“My dream was somewhat pleasing actually.” Her younger sister smiled at her.
She would never understand why this beautiful girl visited a monster like her
everyday. She never failed to visit, not once since she had been put in here.
Azula wondered if she visited their father too, and it wouldn’t surprise her if
she did. When her sister was born, no one paid much attention to her at first.
But when she got older, their father loved and doted on her. Ursa had too, as
did their uncle and cousin and even Zuko had taken to her. Azula had taken to
her before the rest of them. She didn’t mind playing with her most of the time,
because she would do anything and play anything that Azula wanted. And other
than the occasional Mai, she was the only one to visit. Zuko did once in a
great while to see if she was “recovering” and seemed almost disappointed every
time she ignored him. She would never be close to him, but that didn’t mean she
was still insane.
“What was it about?”
“Aren’t you being nosey Maddie?” Azula gave her sister an annoyed look.
“Zula, you can either talk about it or I can tell you some more boring stories
about what Kai and I ate for dinner last night or what I wrote to Uncle about
or how Mai and Zuko are-”
“Alright alright. I get your point. It wasn’t anything special. It was an
actual memory from when we were little. From when I was six.”
“Well come on do tell.” Maddie was the only one that Azula could tell anything
to. Maddie never judged, never criticized. She didn’t think everything that
Azula did was perfect or earth shattering, but she did give credit where credit
was due. She was the only one who had ever loved Azula. She had never feared
her or pitied her. She was just her sister, and right now her best friend.
Well, her only friend. Azula never really hesitated in telling her sister
anything, even when it made her feel uncomfortable.
“It was how I met the biggest traitor ever to live.” Her face contorted with
anger, and sorrow. Only her sister could read her expressions so well. Maddie
frowned a bit, and then looked up at her sister.
“She’s been thinking about you too. She sent me a letter that I got this
morning. She wanted to know how you were doing, if you were getting any better.
I offered her a free trip to come see you but she refused to take my money.”
“She never lets anyone give her money. Stupid girl. I don’t want to see her
anyways.”
“Don’t lie to yourself Azula. I know you do. And you don’t have to lie to me
either.” The only real reason Azula wanted to see Ty Lee at all was to ask the
most important question she thought of everyday: Why? There had been a time,
throughout most of their childhood that Azula had really thought that Ty Lee
had been her real friend. She hadn’t really felt that way about Mai, but with
Ty Lee she had thought it was more than simple fear. She thought it had been
real. But she was wrong, something that didn’t occur very often. Trust was for
the weak. Yet she trusted her sister, because she was the only one who had
never left, and who never would.
~
“Azula did you really just banish someone already?” Azula looked out from the
throne at her little sister. When her sister said it like that, it made her
feel stupid and cruel. She pushed the feelings back. She wasn’t going to
rationalize it either, because her sister would judge her even more. She looked
at the two servants scrubbing her feet, and felt annoyed.
“People need to know that there will be punishment for their actions.”
“There was a pit in one of your cherries. Agni forbid Azula!” She didn’t like
the tone of her sisters sarcasm, although normally she would have found it
amusing.
“What is happening to you Azula?” Her sister’s worried voice brought her back
to reality. She motioned for the servants to leave and they scurried away.
Maddie approached the throne and embraced her sister. Azula had to hide a sob
into her sister’s shoulder, trying her to silence herself. Crying was a
weakness. Her father needed her to be perfection, but she felt as though she
was going mad. Without Ty Lee, there was nothing left for her. She missed her,
as difficult as it was to admit. There were only two people in the world who
acted as though they would love her unconditionally. Maddie, and - Oh why did
she even care about that traitor anymore?
Maddie sat with her sister as she banished person after person, trying to be
the voice of reason. Azula would have none of it. All she could see was Ty Lee
in the face of every person she looked at.
“Azula, we heard what happened. Why have you banished all of your servants?”
“All your Dai Lee agents?”
“All of the Imperial Firebenders?”
“None of them could be trusted. Sooner or later they would have betrayed me.
Just like Mai and Ty Lee did.” She choked on Ty Lee’s name and Maddie finally
understood the real depth of how hurt she had been, how devastated.
“Azula, we are concerned for you and your well being.”
“My father asked you to come here and talk to me didn’t he? He thinks I can’t
handle the responsibility of being Fire Lord. But I will be the greatest leader
in Fire Nation history.”
“Of course but perhaps we should postpone the coronation?” Azula was so
infuriated. The banishing was quick.
“Azula, please listen to me. I’ve always done what you’ve wanted, I’ve always
been loyal. I think that you’re putting too much pressure on yourself.”
“You’re just saying that because you want to be Fire Lord!”
“Azula listen to yourself. You know I never want to be Fire Lord. That’s my one
goal in life. I DO NOT want to be Fire Lord. I just want to be your little
sister. And I want you to always be there. But I just think that you need to
take a break.”
“Nonsense. I know what I’m doing. Have some faith in me sister.”
“I’m so worried about you. It’s okay to be sad about Ty Lee and Mai.”
“Don’t ever say those names to me again!” She screamed.
Maddie watched her, chained up and crying, spewing blue fire everywhere. She
cried as she watched her beloved sister be taken away. Zuko embraced his little
sister, and she bawled. She couldn’t believe that Azula was losing her mind.
She couldn’t believe that her proud, strong sister was now reduced to a crying
teenager. But in her heart she blamed a number of people. She blamed her father
and mother for not showing love to their daughter. She blamed Zuko for always
being so mean to her. She blamed Mai for choosing Zuko over her. And she blamed
Ty Lee most of all for what she had done, after all they had been through. She
never in a million years thought that Ty Lee would leave her sister’s side, but
she was wrong. She blamed many people, wishing she could have loved her sister
more, but it was impossible to have loved her anymore than she already had.
~
“So Kai and I are thinking about going to the Earth Kingdom.”
“Well that would only make sense since he is a Prince of the Earth Kingdom.”
Azula looked at her sister in a bored fashion.
“We were hoping to take you with us.” Azula’s eyes became bright and almost
hopeful.
“Is that so? I didn’t think Zuzu would allow it.”
“He won’t at the moment. But I’m not leaving without you.”
“You really should. I’m a lost cause.”
“I’m not leaving without you,” Maddie said more forcefully. She wasn’t going to
leave her sister, no matter what anyone said. She had been fighting Zuko for
months on this. Azula wasn’t crazy anymore, she was almost back to her normal
self. Zuko didn’t know what she needed to get better. Maddie didn’t really
either, but she knew that this wasn’t it. She knew that a bunch of doctors
shooting her up with drugs was not the right answer. She knew that she had to
find a different way to heal, and she wanted Ty Lee to help, but she was still
hesitant to come. Maddie couldn’t really understand why. All the years of trust
between Ty Lee and Azula had not been completely eroded by one betrayal. She
knew that Azula still had feelings for her, even now.
“You really think that they’re going to let you? Zuko hates me remember? He
doesn’t want me out and about because I’m so dangerous. I’m surprised he let me
keep my bending.”
“Azula you were fourteen years old. The same age I am now. You can still come
out a different, better person. Not that I want you to become a totally
different person. You know I like you very much. I just want you to not
threaten to take over nations and destroy the world. There really isn’t any
need for it.”
“My dear little sister, always straight to say exactly what she wants.” Azula
couldn’t help but smile. Lately, she had been thinking that any place was
better than another day in these cells. Another year or so of it and she might
actually go crazy. She wanted to be anywhere, even the crummy Earth kingdom.
“I learned from you.” Maddie gave a smirk to her sister. Azula hated when she
went home for the night. She wished she was allowed to stay, even just one
night. She missed being snuggled up to her sister, a tradition they had shared
when one or the other had nightmares. But, she had nightmares every night.
~
Maddie was always sad to leave her sister at night. But this night was actually
important. It was the night she and Kai were going to convince Zuko to take her
home. All of the members of the Avatar’s group were coming to meet to discuss
this. And there was a special guest outside of all of them. Maddie sat down
next to Kai at the giant table, squeezing his hand underneath it.
“Don’t worry we’re going to bring her home. I don’t care what it takes.” She
nodded pensively, so worried. It was really going to be three on the rest of
them she could tell. She got up excitedly as she came through the door, in her
all green attire. She gripped onto Ty Lee, not letting go for several minutes.
“I’m so glad you came.”
“It seems like the least I can do. And you forcibly paid for my travels, so I
felt like I had to. Well, I already did have to because I needed to for her.”
Ty Lee looked down, her gaze was incredibly sad. Maddie took her hands and
smiled at her.
“She’s going to forgive you. I know she will.” When the others came in, Ty Lee
and Mai shared a long embrace, followed up with the normal “how have you been?”
and “wow you look great.” But Ty Lee didn’t look great. It looked like she
hadn’t eaten in awhile. Ty Lee used to eat all the time, but it didn’t look
like she had in ages. Her eyes looked slightly sunken, as though she had been
crying extensively over the past two years. Her walk was no longer as
confident, and her laugh was not as full. Her aura was no longer pink. It was a
muddied blue, or even possibly a muddy grey. As they all sat down, Zuko was the
first to speak.
“I think it would be alright for you two to take her. But I think we should
take her bending away.”
“I agree,” Katara chimed in.
“No! You cannot take away her bending! She will never recover if you take away
the one thing she lives for! None of you have any idea what she needs to get
better! Only Ty Lee and I know what she needs!”
“She’s a threat to everyone around her! We can’t really let her walk around
with all that power in Ba Sing Se!” Suki was just as passionate as Maddie had
been, but she wasn’t giving up.
“We’ll be watching her! I’m going to make sure that Uncle Iroh doesn’t let her
out of his sight! I can’t let her bending be taken away. That would be worse
than death for her!”
“Why don’t you all shut up and ask Ty Lee what she thinks? She knows that girl
more than anyone, more than even you. No offence Princess, but Ty Lee knows
exactly what she needs.” Everyone was shocked to hear Toph stand up for Azula.
Toph had no love for the Princess, although she was very fond of the younger
one. Toph seemed to be the one voice of reason in a sea of opinions. Everyone
looked at the young acrobat.
“Well what do you think Ty Lee?” Mai looked at her friend, not really thinking
that Ty Lee could make an unbiased decision. She knew that Ty Lee had some very
strong feelings for the Princess, as much as she wanted to deny it. Ty Lee
looked at Maddie for a long time and then stood.
“I think her living with Iroh is a good idea. It will be a form of punishment
for her, but not so extreme that she can’t recover. And I think that if you
take her bending away she will find an inventive way to kill herself within a
week. And I know that what you all probably want but I’m not going to let you
do that.”
“I don’t think they should take her at all,” Sokka muttered.
“Well that’s not a choice,” Kai said. Zuko looked at Kai in confusion.
“And why is that Kai?”
“Because my grandfather King Bumi has ordered her transfer to the city of Ba
Sing Se. If you don’t give her to us, you will have a war on your hands.”
Everyone looked shocked to hear it except for Toph. Kai was her best friend’s
nephew after all, and he was not one to take chances. And if Maddie wanted
something, she got it. She rarely asked for anything, and if she wanted this
she would have it.
“You would start a war over Azula?” Mai looked shocked, which was surprising
since she didn’t ever show much emotion.
“I would start a war for my sister yes. I grew up here. I knew her just as well
as any of you. But I saw first hand how Ozai, and Ursa treated her. I saw how
she was raised and groomed to become a war weapon. I love her like my own
blood, as does my mother. I won’t let you take away her bending. I believe she
can recover. I believe she will get better. But I don’t think you know what she
needs. I think Iroh does. And I believe Ty Lee does as well. I know her well
enough to know that without her bending she won’t want to live.”
“So I have no choice but to surrender her to you is what you’re saying.” Zuko’s
hands clenched into fists. Mai lightly touched his shoulder and the rest of
them looked at the two demanding her come with them.
“That’s exactly what I’m saying. We’re leaving with her tomorrow, and we’ve
hired Ty Lee to help us escort her there. If you try to stop us, you will have
a full out war on your hands.”
“Then I have no choice. You can take my lunatic sister. But if she tries to
take over the Earth Kingdom it will be on your heads.” Kai nodded, and left the
room. Ty Lee gravitated towards Maddie as Zuko looked furious, and most of the
others didn’t look so pleased either.
“That could have gone better.”
“I’m more worried about talking to your sister.”
***** Chapter 2 *****
“You came back? Isn’t it a little late for visiting hours Maddie-” Azula froze
when she saw a young woman in green clothing in her cell. Her sister liked
green, but she didn’t ever wear a dark color. She hated dark colors. She
loathed anything darker than the brightest saturation of a color, and she never
went darker than the middle color range. It was already fairly dark in the
cell, and she could not make out who it was. Mai liked to wear dark colors, but
she didn’t like green. She always wore a dark red.
“Who are you?” Azula’s irritation was evident in her tone.
“Azula, it’s me.” The small voice sounded so much Ty Lee. But it couldn’t be.
She was always coming up with one financial reason or another to her sister as
to why she couldn’t come home and spend time with Azula. Or Maddie for that
matter. Or even visit her family. Or Mai.
“Can’t you tell who I am?” Azula smirked, certain now in the way the feeble
voice showed the same kind of nerves Ty Lee would have.
“Well you can’t be my ex-friend now could you? Last time I checked she wore
pink, to match her aura. But you have neither of those things.”
“Times have been hard for me too Azula.”
“Get to the damn point Ty Lee. Why are you here?” Azula was losing her patience
and her mind. Azula, she’s here to see you because she loves you sweetheart. Go
away mother!
“In your cell or in the Fire Nation in general?” So she had learned some sass,
from wherever she had been. Azula knew her sister, or maybe even Mai had told
her what Ty Lee had been up to for the past two years but she couldn’t remember
now.
“Both,” she answered coldly.
“I’m in the Fire Nation because your sister told me to. I’m in your cell
because I wanted to see you. I haven’t seen you in so long.” Her voice hinted
at regret but Azula wasn’t buying it.
“You’ve seen me. Now leave.” Ty Lee suddenly got angry, something that almost
never happened.
“I just stood up for you in front of a room full of people who hate you. I
saved your damn bending so you could at least give me the courtesy of listening
to what I have to say!” Azula didn’t know what to say. She didn’t even know her
bending was still threatened. She watched her old friend seeth, holding back
her emotions as best she could.
“If it hadn’t been for me, no one would have listened to your sister. They
wanted to take away your bending before shipping you off to the Earth Kingdom.
And I know you would have killed yourself. I know you Azula. You wouldn’t want
to live without your bending. So you could at least be grateful I came all the
way from the Earth Kingdom to protect you!”
“Why?”
“Why what?” Ty Lee shouted. The guard looked in for a moment, before going
about his business.
“Why did you save my bending? I don’t mean anything to you anymore.”
“That’s not true. It took me two years to save up enough money to be able to
see you. To spend a whole month here like I planned. But then your sister sent
me a frantic letter. I wanted to see you more than anything.”
“Liar.” Azula couldn’t look her in the eyes, “But thank you. For protecting my
bending.”
“You’re welcome.”
“So... how many people wanted to take away my bending?”
“Almost everyone at the meeting. I was surprised that Toph didn’t want to. She
was the one who wanted to hear what I had to say.”
“Was Elyon there too?”
“Yes but she didn’t say anything. I don’t think she knew what to say.” Azula
smiled fondly.
“She probably couldn’t get the image of us out of her head.”
 
~
They had been walking through the woods for a long time. Ty Lee’s feet were
getting sore they had been walking so long. They had started before the sun
rose, and she was so tired. She hated that Azula went to these extremes, even
though she knew why. They finally stopped in a clearing and Azula gave her a
hungry look. Ty Lee nervously smiled as Azula got closer.
“Azula, what if we get caught?” She looked around nervously, checking for other
people.
“We won’t. God Ty Lee you act like we’ve never done this before. We’re so far
away from the campsite and we’re in the middle of the woods. You can be so
stupid sometimes.”
“I’m sorry Azula I’m just nervous for you. Nothing will happen to me if they
see me.” Azula got closer to her, pulling her into her arms.
“Shut up.” Their lips collided, and Ty Lee’s arms automatically wrapped around
her neck. The heat was enveloping them, and Ty Lee smiled into Azula’s mouth.
Azula pried open Ty Lee’s mouth with her tongue and stroked the inside of her
mouth. She bit her lip and groaned in her mouth. It always drove Ty Lee crazy,
and she couldn’t help but moan herself. Azula’s mouth was so warm and inviting,
and Ty Lee was losing her breath. She liked to rattle Azula up a little so she
fought for dominance, forcing her own tongue into Azula’s mouth. She bit her
lip and ran her fingers down her back. Azula moaned and grabbed her behind with
such force that Ty Lee squealed into her mouth. Azula smiled and nipped her
bottom lip. She slowly pulled away and looked down at her.
“I love when you try to take control,” she whispered. Ty Lee’s face was red,
and she smiled up at Azula.
“Azula, do we really have to go back?”
“Well I do have to capture the Avatar and become the Fire Lord at some point.”
“Well alright. If that’s what will make you happy ‘Zula.” Ty Lee smiled up at
her. Azula hated letting her go but she let her go. Ty Lee cartwheeled back in
the direction that they had come from and Azula started to slowly make her way
towards her.
“You know, I knew you were there. You better run away before I change my mind
about ignoring you little girl.” The girl with blond hair looked shocked, and
then sprinted away. Azula was very amused. It was the first time someone she
didn’t know had caught them in the act. Her little sister had caught them once,
and her sister’s friend Kai had caught them a handful of times. But for
whatever the reason this amused the Princess immensely.
 
~
“You always did find her catching us that day amusing. I never understood why.”
Ty Lee’s expression had lightened. Azula didn’t like when she was upset, but
she often caused it more frequently than not. Ty Lee used to bounce back from
it easily, but now she looked more worn out than usual. There was a long
silence between them as Azula assessed her friend. She didn’t look much better
than she did and that was saying something. Azula had assumed that Ty Lee had
gone back to the circus, since that was what she had always really loved. She
looked too tired for that.
“I take it you didn’t join the circus?” Azula said quietly, after the long
silence.
“I’m sure Mai or Maddie told you I joined the Kyoshi Warriors.”
“It must have been Mai because I actually listen to what my sister says.”
“Well that’s where I’ve been the past two years. It’s expensive to get ferry
rides to the capital of the Fire Nation. It’s not a popular vacation spot.” Ty
Lee smiled sadly.
“Ty Lee, the girl who didn’t want to become part of a matched set, joined the
Kyoshi warriors. How tragic.” Azula laughed, and Ty Lee glared at her.
“We traded moves. They were nice to me. And I wouldn’t have met them if I
hadn’t been imprisoned.” Azula smiled at her.
“You wouldn’t have been in prison if you weren’t a traitor.”
“Whatever Azula.”
“Truth too hard to handle? Why didn’t you rejoin the circus after you got
bored.”
“It reminded me too much of you....” she whispered, “But then again, everything
did. The Kyoshi warriors did a lot at first, since that’s how we infiltrated Ba
Sing Se. But it didn’t hurt as much after awhile so I stayed. And they payed
alright.” Azula didn’t want to say anything. Not anymore. There were so many
angry words she could have said to her almost lover. But she didn’t. This
wasn’t her Ty Lee. Not anymore. She didn’t look like her old self, she didn’t
act like her old self. She didn’t want to talk to her anymore. She wanted her
old Ty Lee back. Not the traitorous one.
“Well I’m sure you came to see how I’ve been doing. I’m not crazy anymore as
you can see. Now you should go.” Ty Lee got up and went towards the door.
“You know you’re going to have to spend a lot of time with me. I’m the one
guarding you all the way to Ba Sing Se starting tomorrow.” She left the cell
and Azula internally made a note to make her sister’s life a living hell for
all the days she would have to spend with Ty Lee.
 
~
  “Okay Ty Lee stop crying! I’ll play whatever game you want!” Azula hated when
Ty Lee cried. She didn’t know why she hated it so much. She liked when Zuko
cried. She didn’t enjoy when her sister cried but she didn’t try to stop it
often. But with Ty Lee it was different. She felt horrible whenever Ty Lee
cried. When other girls picked on her at the academy, she went berserk. And she
made sure they were punished. She then found Ty Lee some daisies and told her
to stop crying. She didn’t know why seeing that crooked grin made her so happy
inside.
“Yay! Okay I want to play house!” Ty Lee had asked Azula a thousand times over
their four year friendship if they could play house. Azula always said no.
“You can be the daddy and I can be the mommy!”
“Why do I have to be the dad?”
“Because you’re strong and smart and good at making me stop crying silly! And I
love pink and love babies. You don’t like babies at all.” Well Ty Lee had been
right about that. She hated babies. Ty Lee set up a bunch of dolls in two
separate lines, with one at the very end. She placed Azula at the end with one
of the dolls and went to the other end.
“What are you doing?”
“Well we have to get married first silly! Otherwise our union isn’t real!”
Azula rolled her eyes watched as Ty Lee walked down the makeshift aisle. Ty Lee
was beaming, having picked flowers and putting them in her hair, and she had a
bouquet in her hand. She got down to the end and looked at Azula all happily.
She got out her pretend man voice and started talking as one of the dolls. She
had been to plenty of weddings, as her family was large. Even at age ten she
knew what to do.
“Do you, Princess Azula of the beautiful Fire Nation, take Ty Lee, the daughter
of a nobleman, to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for
better or for worse, until death do you part?” Ty Lee giggled in her man voice.
“I suppose I don’t have a choice.” That made her giggling louder and Azula
blushed.
“And do you Ty Lee, take Princess Azula to be your lawfully wedded wife, in
sickness and in health, for better or for worse, until death do you part? Of
course I do silly!”
“Don’t you have to give me something? Like a ring?”
“Well I don’t have a ring... Oh we could trade bracelets!” Azula didn’t care
much for her jewelry so she handed Ty Lee her bracelet, and Ty Lee slipped hers
onto Azula.
“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you wife and.... wife! You may kiss
your bride!” Ty Lee leaned in and kissed Azula. She didn’t know what to do, it
was her first kiss. When Ty Lee pulled away, Azula was blushing. Zuko had seen
them kissing, and had run to Ursa. Ursa laughed, and said they were just
playing games. It was the first time she hadn’t been scolded by her mother, and
she didn’t know what to do. Ursa had no way of knowing that Ty Lee had ignited
something very dangerous, that would never go away.
 
~
Azula woke up and looked at her wrist. The bracelet, the pink beads, were still
there. She normally hid them under her sleeve, but they must have fallen out in
her sleep. She didn’t like having dreams about her traitorous ex-friend. She
wanted all of the memories to subside, all of the times when she had looked at
her with tender feelings to be erased from her mind. She heard the door sliding
open, and she tucked them back into her sleeve. Her sister was in the doorway,
with Ty Lee. She came with clothes, and clothes that Azula actually liked. They
didn’t show off her midsection, which after years of barely eating Azula
appreciated. Her sister had clearly gone into her closet and found the clothes.
“I really hate you Maddie.” Maddie’s face lit in a knowing smile and Ty Lee
giggled a little. She knew Azula wasn’t all that happy to see her again, but
she didn’t really have a choice. Azula tried to stand, but it was incredibly
difficult. Zuko had made sure to give her no exercise, although it would have
done her some good with her incessant boredom. Ty Lee quickly caught her and
helped her up. Azula didn’t like looking weak, but pushing her away would mean
falling again. Ty Lee and Maddie helped her take off the ugly prison uniform
slowly. Ty Lee noticed the bracelet and smiled. Azula noticed her smile, but
tried to ignore it.
“Don’t give me that look. It’s not like it’s actually sentimental. It just
won’t come off of my wrist without me breaking it is all.”
“Oh I’m sure Azula. I’m sure.” She chuckled, helping Maddie put Azula’s normal
palace robes on. She wished they would have picked one of her combat outfits,
but she was grateful to be out of those disgusting things. Ty Lee put her shoes
on and then went to her hair.
“I think that Maddie should do that.” Ty Lee backed away slowly. On her way
back she saw the Princess tuck the bracelet back under her sleeve. She had hers
tucked under her own sleeve as well, the bright red jewels being too valuable
to show in public. She noticed that her nails were filed down much too far for
Azula’s liking. Her fingers looked sore and raw, like she had been digging. She
watched as Maddie skillfully put Azula’s hair up the way she liked it, nice and
tight. She left the two pieces out, and placed the small red fire symbol into
the knot. She smiled at her own work before starting to help the Princess up.
The young acrobat also started to help but told Maddie to let go.
“Get on my back. Like when we were kids.” Azula raised an eyebrow to her. She
miraculously did as she was told and got onto her back. They were escorted by
Toph and Elyon to the docks, where they went on the same ship. Azula was gently
put down, but was surrounded by Ty Lee, Toph, Elyon, Maddie and Kai. Maddie
explained to her that there was no need to take separate transportation if they
were all going to the same place. Azula made some kind of retort. When Azula
was shown to her room that night she became infuriated.
“What do you mean I have to share a room with one bed with YOU?” Ty Lee had
known it wouldn’t go over well.
“They want me to guard you. I can just sleep on the floor if you want me to.”
Azula thought that would be best at first. But then she looked at the metal
floor and sighed. It wasn’t as though Ty Lee had never slept next to her
before.
“No it’s fine. We’ve shared a bed before after all.”
***** Chapter 3 *****
Ty Lee had been sitting on the floor for about an hour. Azula had yet to
respond to anything she said. She didn’t even give her some kind of annoyed
response, no retorts coming from her crimson lips. She just looked empty. Azula
truly couldn’t think of anything nice to say to Ty Lee. She didn’t want to say
anything mean either. The closer it got to night, the closer Azula got to
madness. She didn’t want Ty Lee to cry because she didn’t know how she’d react.
She didn’t want to cry in front of Ty Lee.
“Azula I know there’s something you want to ask me. I’m surprised you haven’t
yet.” That caught Azula’s attention. She had ignored most of what the girl had
been saying, except when she talked about the Kyoshi warriors and how they
“could be best friends forever now.” She had felt a large pang of jealousy, as
Ty Lee had always said things like that to her. But not anymore. Azula looked
the folds in the blanket, trying to avoid this situation. She did not want to
cry. She wouldn’t if she could help it. But she was still so.... curious.
“Why did you do it?” Her voice almost choked. She had still sounded confident
to Ty Lee but inside she was breaking slowly. She was trying to keep all of her
dignity intact. But it was slowly slipping in front of one of the few people
she had ever cared about. Ty Lee looked very sad. She wiped away a stray tear,
something that did not go unnoticed.
“It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. But I couldn’t let you kill Mai.
I know that’s what you were going to do Azula. If I had let you, you would have
become the monster you think you are. I couldn’t stand there and watch my best
friend kill one of my closest friends. Not if I could stop it,” she looked down
at her hands, “My fingers still feel your armor on their tips. It’s something I
have nightmares about every night Azula.” Her tears kept coming and Azula tried
to ignore it.
“Was it all a lie? Did you just sneak around with me because you were...
scared? Or was it all just a game to you? To see how much you could make me
feel for you so I would be more hurt when your betrayal came. So you and Mai
could sit around and laugh about it later while I was left to rot in that cell
for two years.”
“No! I wasn’t afraid of you! I really liked kissing you! You know that! I
wanted to be your girlfriend! I wanted to hold your hand in public and sleep
next to you at night. I still want to...” Her crying got a little louder as she
confessed. Azula would never know how haunted she had been all those years. How
her stomach ached because she made herself so sick just thinking about what she
had done to Azula. At her lowest moment she had wished she had let her kill
Mai. In Ty Lee’s mind, she still couldn’t understand how Mai could have chosen
Zuko over Azula. And not just over Azula, over her.
“Now stop that blubbering Ty Lee. You’re so ugly when you cry.” Ty Lee hiccuped
a bit, from the combination of laughing and crying. She didn’t like when Azula
seemed hurt, she liked it better when she was mean.
“Ty Lee get up here.” Azula had been laying down, and Ty Lee crawled into the
bed with her. She tried her hardest to stop sniffling but it was so difficult.
But when Azula smiled shyly at her, her tears disappeared and she smiled back.
Just like when they were kids, Azula still could control her emotions so
easily, just with a single smile.
“We haven’t done this in so long.”
“I don’t think we’ve done this since the beach.”
 
~
Ty Lee picked up a shell and looked at it. She always loved silly things like
that. Azula hated watching her in public. She didn’t like the bathing suit Ty
Lee had on. Well she did. But she didn’t like the looks it got her. She didn’t
like that boys eyed her like a hunk of meat that they could just buy with
pretty words.
“This is so pretty.” Ty Lee was beaming, but Azula couldn’t help but become
rigid.
“Not as pretty as you are.” Azula wanted to firebend that boy into oblivion. It
wasn’t as though she and Ty Lee were together, but they did do many special
things together. They had been kissing for real since they were thirteen. Azula
had mentally claimed her, but she couldn’t help but think that some boy was
going to take her away. No boy was going to marry Ty Lee. Not her Ty Lee.
Azula saw some other teenagers playing volleyball, and her competitive nature
compelled her to play. Plus it would get Ty Lee away from all of her doting
fans. She looked over to her friend to see all of the imbeciles fanning her.
She grew incredibly annoyed.
“Hey, beach bums. We’re playing next. Ty Lee, get over here now!” She yelled.
Ty Lee eagerly did a handstand and walked over on her hands.
Later Azula had to angrily watch Ty Lee fend off boys. Literally. After
punching through a crowd of them fighting for her affections, she walked over
to Azula.
“Oh, I’m glad you’re here. Those boys won’t leave me alone. I guess they all
just like me too much.” Azula frowned. Her heart was stinging.
“Come on Ty Lee. You can’t be ignorant.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Those boys only like you because you make it so easy for them. You're not a
challenge. You're a tease. It's not like they actually care who you are.” Ty
Lee started to sob. Azula felt guilty, and she instantly regretted the words.
Her face got gentler, along with her voice.
“Okay, okay, calm down. I didn't mean what I said. Look, maybe I just said it
because I was a little... jealous.” Azula looked down, shyly. She didn’t want
to tell her how she really felt looking at them.
“What? You're jealous of me? But you're the most beautiful, smartest, perfect
girl in the world.” Azula tried to control the joy she felt from hearing that.
“Well, you're right about all those things. But, for some reason, when I meet
boys, they act as if I'm going to do something horrible to them.” Ty Lee held
her inner thoughts in, thinking Azula would do something because she had no
interest in boys. None at all.
“But you probably would do something horrible to them. I'm sure they're just
intimidated by you. Okay, look, if you want a boy to like you, just look at him
and smile a lot and laugh at everything he says even if it's not funny.”
“Well, that sounds really shallow and stupid...let's try it.”
“Okay. Hey there, sweet sugar cakes. How you liking this party?” Azula had
always thought Ty Lee’s fake man voice was adorable. She made a horrible fake
laugh that was altogether too loud.
After everyone’s emotional confessions, Azula waited for Mai and Zuko to be
fast asleep. She quietly snuck into Ty Lee’s room. She was still awake, sitting
on the bed. Her back was turned to Azula. The tears were streaming down her
face. Azula sighed, not knowing that Ty Lee was crying.
“Did you kiss him?” Ty Lee’s voice sounded normal.
“Yeah.”
“So I guess you have a boyfriend now huh?” She tried to sound cheerful.
“No I scared him away. You seem like the only one I can’t scare away.” Azula
smiled, getting a little bit closer.
“Did you like it?” Her voice choked a little.
“No. I didn’t. Don’t act like you’ve never kissed a boy before Ty.” Ty Lee got
up quickly and embraced Azula before she could see her tears. Her lips were on
Azula’s and Azula let out a moan. Ty Lee rarely started their touches, but when
she did Azula felt an extreme fire in her chest. She was desperately clutching
to Azula, in a passionate frenzy, Ty Lee’s tongue was in her mouth, her fingers
were in her hair. Azula gripped onto her and growled. She grabbed the back of
Ty Lee’s head and thrust her tongue inside, and Ty Lee moaned. Suddenly Azula
remembered that they had been talking. Azula pulled away, now noticing the
tears all over Ty Lee’s face, the redness of her eyes. She ran her fingers
through the brown hair.
“I didn’t like it at all Ty. Not like I like kissing you.” Ty Lee smiled.
“Cuddle with me tonight?” Azula nodded, and they both scurried into pajamas and
into Ty Lee’s bed. Ty Lee ran her fingers through her hair, it was down so
rarely that she savored the moment. Azula got in close, putting her arms around
Ty Lee.
“Ty?”
“Hm?”
“If it was allowed, would you be my girlfriend?”
“I would even if it wasn’t.” Her answer was so quick that Azula knew she wasn’t
lying.
“Well, I think I’ll consider it. I don’t want other people touching you.”
“I wish we could show everyone what we really are. Don’t you?”
“No. Because then I would have to compete with girls too.” Ty Lee smiled and
they slowly fell asleep. And it was the last time before they were separated
that they would share a bed.
 
~
“Can I tell you a secret?” Ty Lee whispered, her hand in Azula’s hair. She had
pulled it down, despite Azula’s protests.
“Sure. I suppose.”
“I was really jealous of Chan that day.” Azula raised her brow, “I hated that
he kissed you. I’m supposed to kiss you. I hated it. I wanted to Chi block him.
That’s why I was so happy when we trashed his house.” Ty Lee was smiling a
mischievous smile.
“I wasn’t jealous of all the attention you were getting you know. I don’t like
boys Ty. I was jealous because I wanted to be them. I wanted to be able to
freely show that you were mine. Not that it matters now. I haven’t forgiven
you.”
“I didn’t think you would. I’m just glad you’re tolerating me.”
“Well I don’t really have much of a choice. Besides, it’s better than riding
with Mai all the way to Ba Sing Se.” Ty Lee giggled.
“You would be so bored if she was guarding you. You might get into more fights
though.”
“Well that might be better than reminiscing with you.”
“Please you miss how it used to be too.”
“That’s the thing Ty. It’s never going to be like it used to be. You’re never
going to be the Ty Lee I remember. Because every time I look into your eyes I
see your betrayal. And I don’t think it’s ever going to go away.”
***** Chapter 4 *****
Azula didn’t like to think that it would take days for them to reach Ba Sing
Se. They were going through the tiny pass of water, but it would only take them
to a day’s travel away from the city. She didn’t want to wait that long to get
away from Ty Lee, even if it was to be with her horrible uncle. She spent most
of the day with her sister, along with the others. She mostly only talked to
Maddie and Kai, as Toph and Elyon didn’t seem very keen on talking to her.
Elyon was more than happy to chat with Ty Lee about the Kyoshi warriors, which
at least kept her busy. If she heard Suki’s name one more time, she might have
exploded. She also remembered that Suki’s beloved water tribe idiot had been
assessed as attractive by Ty Lee, which she didn’t like at all.
Her sister could see the tension in Azula’s eyes and her shoulders and looked
over at Ty Lee curiously. She knew that Ty Lee had romantic feelings for her
sister, but she had no idea how far rooted their romance actually had been
before the betrayal. Azula had told her when she had caught them kissing that
they were just trying it out. But the more time she spent with the two of them,
the more she doubted it. Her sister became stiff every time the Kyoshi warriors
were mentioned, or when Ty Lee talked about boys on the island that really
liked her, and gave her presents. Maddie couldn’t remember a time when Ty Lee
wasn’t by Azula’s side. Whenever there was a boring function or some sort of
party, Ty Lee was invited. If the Princess got bored, that who she asked for.
At the academy, Maddie had seen that Ty Lee was always with her, and Mai just
seemed to tag along.
Kai knew exactly what was going on. He had caught them many times over the
years, and whenever Ty Lee’s name had been mentioned, Azula
uncharacteristically smiled. And Azula seemed to forgive Mai’s betrayal more
quickly that Ty Lee’s. She didn’t like Mai anymore than she had, but she wasn’t
as hostile. Not as she was to Ty Lee. Kai knew that they were in some kind of
relationship, or at least had been. Whatever they had been, official or
unofficial, must have been dispersed by the Princess herself, because Ty Lee
had never given up on Azula. He watched the scene with much amusement as Ty Lee
tried to include Azula into the conversations.
“You already rambled on about your precious Kyoshi warriors. I don’t need to
listen to the same stories over and over,” she snapped. She turned her head,
still looking unhappy. Azula didn’t like Ty Lee talking about her new life. She
had always thought that Ty Lee was dependent on her for survival, but now she
knew she was wrong. Ty Lee could take care of herself. She didn’t need Azula.
But for whatever reason, although she’d never say it out loud, she needed Ty
Lee. She was the only one she had trusted. But that was now gone. She had so
few friends however, and like her uncle said beggars can’t be choosers. And she
didn’t have any friends other than Ty Lee. Her sister and her sister’s
boyfriend didn’t really count. They had loved her since they were all little
but they didn’t really count. Not to her.
She watched Ty Lee talk to Elyon and Toph, occasionally including Maddie and
Kai. Somewhere inside she wished she could tell Ty Lee all of the things she
felt. How she had realized how cruel she had been to Mai and her. How she
sometimes wanted to change. How she sometimes thought that they could just stay
away from royalty and they could just live together and adopt cute little
babies that Ty Lee would adore, but Azula would ignore until they were older.
They could just live a normal peasant life, and people would stare at them
because they were together. But it wouldn’t matter. And she could finally touch
her like she had wanted to. Sleeping in the same bed as her had been completely
terrible and frustrating. She thought about ordering Ty Lee to let her, but she
knew that Ty Lee would mistake it for forgiveness. And it wasn’t. She couldn’t
forgive her for what she had done. Trust was for fools, and Azula had been
played a fool. As she watched Ty Lee she felt the desire stir within her again.
 
~
“Ty Lee, do you think eventually, you know... we could... oh I feel so stupid.
Have sex?”
“Azula I don’t think two women can... can they?”
“I don’t know. I don’t even know how a man and a woman do it.”
“You don’t?” Ty Lee was astonished. Thirteen year old Azula didn’t know about
sex.
“Well Ursa wasn’t around long enough for that part and Father has no interest
in telling me. And Iroh went with Zuko when he was banished, not that I want
him to teach me about that. And I never really thought I would actually have
sex with a man. I mean I thought that Father would arrange a marriage, but I
figured that I would keep him away from me until I could figure out a way to
kill him.” Ty Lee laughed, picturing Azula married to a man she was plotting to
kill.
“Well do you want to know?”
“Well only if there is anything you can apply to two women.”
“I don’t think there is. It is illegal here for two people of the same sex to
marry.”
 
Azula couldn’t believe she was doing what she was doing. She stood outside the
largest library in the Fire Nation feeling foolish. She didn’t really think
that Ty Lee would let her touch her in that way, especially not at age
thirteen. But there was no way to know for sure she wouldn’t in the future, and
Azula liked to know what she was doing. She wanted to be in control. She walked
into the library, hoping they had something. The royal library hadn’t had
anything on sex at all. It was as if her father had removed them all on purpose
to keep her in the dark. Not that she acted like a normal girl. He had once
asked if either of the two sisters if they liked any boys. Maddie had stuttered
as she protested that she didn’t. Azula, without blinking an eye said of course
not.
Azula approached the front desk of the library. She had met the librarian a few
times before, when she had escorted her sister. She reached the desk, and the
librarian was all smiles.
“All alone today Princess Azula?”
“Yes my sister is home today. May I speak with you in private?” The librarian
shuffled into an empty room and locked the door behind them. She smiled at the
Princess.
“You see, I have a problem. As you know, my mother has not been around in quite
awhile. And my father has no interest in teaching me about what happens between
a man and a woman and I am far past the age where I should have learned by now.
I was going to ask one of my dear friend’s mother, but I felt too vulnerable. I
searched the royal library, but there isn’t a book to be found. Not that I can
blame anyone, it is a touchy subject,” Azula had on her fake sweet voice. The
librarian looked at her with sympathy, something she wasn’t used to.
“Of course Princess. Right this way.” Azula followed her into a locked room.
“This is every book, close to ever written, about the carnal nature of our
species. And several others, although those are more for scientific ventures.
All of the books about humans are on the right, all the animals are on the
left. If you need any assistance at all, please let me know.” She quietly left
the Princess to herself. The Princess found plenty of books about men and
women, and how babies were created. They repulsed her, something she hadn’t
expected. She had been told in school that the instincts would take over when
mating, but she didn’t feel anything like she felt with Ty Lee. She felt
herself shudder. She finally found a little black book that was all about
female relations. She opened it and was surprised. She had never seen anything
like it. What could be done with the hands and mouth looked so devious to her.
Almost delicious. Then she came across putting foreign objects inside... she
had never heard the word dildo in her whole life. She was so fascinated,
especially when she learned that it could be strapped on. All the positions and
moves, Azula wondered what they could be like. She wondered if Ty Lee would let
her even try. She tucked the book into her robe and kept it. She would have fun
with it one day.
 
~
“Don’t touch me Ty Lee.” Azula’s back was turned to her in the bed. Ty Lee
couldn’t tell why Azula was so moody. She went from looking at her like she
used to when they were alone, to completely shutting her down. Ty Lee layed
down on the floor, and slowly fell into slumber. Her back was aching because of
the hard steel floor, but she didn’t feel like getting into a confrontation
with Azula. Azula tried to sleep the best she could, and about an hour later
fell asleep.
Ty Lee was jerked awake from her sleep. The sound of screaming woke her and she
jumped in bed with the screaming Azula. She was screaming in her sleep, and Ty
Lee started to shake her.
“Azula! Azula wake up!” Her eyes sprung open, and she looked at Ty Lee. She
clung to Ty Lee, refusing to let go as she broke down into sobs. Her sobs were
slightly absorbed into Ty Lee’s shoulder. She rocked her back and forth, trying
to give her a sense of reality. She slowly started to calm.
“Azula it was just a nightmare. They can’t hurt you anymore.”
“They all say I’m a disgrace. That I don’t deserve Sozin’s blood in my veins.
The other half agrees, but they think I don’t deserve Roku’s blood. They all
think I’m a failure. My father won’t stop. He won’t stop.”
“He won’t stop what? Azula he can’t hurt you anymore he’s in prison remember?”
Ty Lee is right. Azula you’re safe now. I love you Azula, I do.
“GET OUT URSA! I DON’T NEED YOUR OPINION ON EVERYTHING!” Azula yelled at the
dark. Ty Lee had never been so afraid, but she knew how much Azula needed her.
“Azula she isn’t here. They can’t hurt you anymore. I’m here, you’re safe now.
No one else is here.”
“You just think you know everything don’t you? Why don’t you just leave me
alone if you think I’m such a monster! I don’t need your advice about what to
do with Ty Lee or anyone! I didn’t need you back then and I sure as hell don’t
need you now!” Ty Lee’s mouth crashed onto Azula’s desperately trying to bring
her to reality. Azula was shocked but then she became calm. She felt Ty Lee’s
tears on her nose and cheeks. She put her hand on Ty Lee’s cheek and Ty Lee
pulled away.
“See. No one here but me,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry Ty Lee. It only happens once in awhile I promise. You can’t tell
anyone.”
“But Azula-”
“Not a word to anyone! I don’t need to go back to a mental hospital. I don’t
want to go back there Ty Lee. After everything it’s the least you could do.”
“Alright Azula.”
“I do better when someone sleeps with me.”
“You told me not to touch you.”
“I didn’t mean it. I just get mad when you talk about Kyoshi.”
“Why?” Ty Lee snuggled in closer to her.
“Because I feel like they replaced me. Like you don’t need me anymore.”
“I actually quit before I came. Suki was a good leader and everything... she
just wasn’t my leader.” Azula looked up into the face of the smiling acrobat.
“Is that so?”
“It was never as exciting as it was with you anyways.”
“Obviously.” Azula pulled the covers over both of them and settled back in.
“This doesn’t mean anything.”
“It does Azula. Whether you acknowledge it or not. You can like me without
trusting me.” Azula nuzzled into her skin. She wished she didn’t have to feel
so hurt. So betrayed by her own friend. The only one she had longed to see
every day, to spend every day with. To snuggle next to every night. She had
mentally knocked herself down every day she thought of Ty Lee in prison.
“Did you like them more than me?” She whispered.
“No of course not.” Ty Lee nestled Azula’s head into her chest.
“Are you still my best friend?” Her whisper was barely audible.
“Of course Azula. I’ll never leave you. I promise.” Azula quickly fell asleep
in her arms, exhausted. When she was peacefully asleep, Ty Lee kissed Azula’s
forehead. Tears slid down her cheeks, as she stroked her hair.
“I love you,” she whispered, choking on her tears.
 
***** Chapter 5 *****
Chapter Summary
     Author’s note: looking up the history of dildos is awkward. I hope no
     one looks at my google searches.
Azula woke up to see Ty Lee sound asleep, her head resting on hers. She smiled,
not remembering the night before all that well. She knew she had nightmares,
she just couldn’t remember them most of the time. The drugs weren’t all out of
her system yet, and they were slowly weaning her off them. She felt dizzy in
the morning, and sometimes a little disoriented.
She loves you Azula. You should tell her. I don’t love her Ursa. You’re only
supposed to come when I’m tired. I don’t want to be on the drugs anymore.
Please just stay away when Ty Lee is here. She looked up at Ty Lee and put her
hand in that brown hair. She slowly slipped out of the bed and put her clothes
on. She sat in the mirror and started to put her hair up. She looked back in
the mirror at a sleeping Ty Lee. Ty Lee had been her first kiss, her first
love. They had to hide it, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t felt it.
Ty Lee shifted a little in her sleep and Azula couldn’t help but watch her. She
didn’t look as peaceful without her there. She started to shiver a bit. Azula
walked over and pulled the covers over her. Her finger ran down her cheek and
she couldn’t help but be amazed. Ty Lee was incredibly beautiful, she had
always known that. She wondered why she had never told her, even though Ty Lee
told her she was beautiful all the time. She hid a laugh, remembering how Ty
Lee always slept like she was dead.
Azula was surprised she hadn’t tried to figure out a way to get back to the
Fire Nation and take over. Seeing the way Zuko ran it made her a little sick
inside. She knew she wanted her title back. It hadn’t exactly been stripped
from her, but no one really considered the raving Princess royalty anymore.
When she had first regained her clarity of mind, that was all she could think
about. She didn’t like how much Ty Lee clouded her mind. But, did she really
want the Fire Nation after all? She had it in her grasp for about a week and
she didn’t really enjoy it. Always know when you have been beaten. That was the
most important thing her father had ever said to her that had really resonated
with her. But she hadn’t felt like she was beaten. She couldn’t think properly
during her Agni-kai with her brother. If she had been at full mental capacity
there would have been no way for him to defeat her.
Maybe she liked being just a Princess. Or a war general and Princess. She
didn’t like all the constant pressure she had felt as Fire Lord. But being a
Princess and strategizing was something she had done all of her life. It was in
her blood. She was higher than the common filth, but maybe she didn’t need
everything. And she certainly didn’t want to live in the same place as Zuko and
Mai. She wanted to at least be free from them. But she knew she wanted her
title back, and more. If one day she somehow became Fire Lord, then she would
become the best to ever live. But right now she just needed to recover. Two
years had made her body weak and dependent on drugs.
Azula slowly pulled her hair up into a topknot. She put her small crown back
into it, like she did every morning. She was still a Princess, whether anyone
acknowledged it or not. She tucked the pink beads under her sleeve, trying not
to look at them for too long. She wanted to forget about everything she and Ty
Lee had ever been. Getting rid of the beads would have been the first step, but
for whatever reason, she couldn’t do it. She knew Ty Lee would be leaving for
wherever she decided to go after this, and she was glad. Ty Lee would marry and
have lots of babies running around. And eventually she would forget all about
Azula. That’s what Azula wanted, her friend would be happy and her heart
wouldn’t ache anymore.
Ty Lee stretched in the bed, just waking. She reached over for Azula, but found
the bed to be cold and empty. She flew upwards in a panic, only to see Azula
sitting by her mirror. Her heartbeat went back to normal, and she sighed in
relief.
“I don’t know where exactly you thought I would go since we are surrounded by
water.” Ty Lee made eye contact with her through the mirror and gave her a warm
smile.
“I thought that you stormed the cabin of the ship and took control, steering us
back towards the Fire Nation after you convinced the rest of the crew to take
orders from you.”
“I could have I suppose. It would have been easy just like you said. But it’s
not like I have an army to help me take down all of the Imperial Firebenders
once we got to the palace. And I really have no interest in going back into
that cell.” Ty Lee’s fingers started to attempt to braid her hair back in it’s
usual single braid. Her fingers fumbled through the hair, as she tried
unsuccessfully. She couldn’t do it with Azula looking at her so intently, as
though she were looking for a moment of weakness to take down her prey. In
reality, Azula was thinking how few times she had seen Ty Lee’s hair down. Ty
Lee quickly got frustrated and tossed her hair back angrily.
“Come here. I can do it for you.” Ty Lee looked astonished, but got up
nonetheless. She sat down in front of Azula like they had done when they were
kids. Azula’s hands gently touched Ty Lee’s hair, as she started to braid the
three separate sections. Ty Lee let out a little sigh. She had always been
easily relaxed whenever Azula touched her hair. Azula remembered how she used
to touch Ty Lee’s hair when they were alone, and how she would ask her to braid
it constantly when they had been very little. As soon as she had trusted her at
age seven she had started demanding permission to braid it. Not that Ty had
minded. Anything to get closer to the girl she admired so much.
“There. That wasn’t so hard.”
“You always did it better than I did.” Ty Lee smiled.
“Well of course. I’ve always been better than you at just about everything.
Except for cartwheels and chi blocking. Although I’m sure if I applied myself I
could be better than you at those things too.”
“You’re really hot when you’re cocky, you know that?”
 
~
Azula looked across the throne room at her friend angrily. Earlier that day she
had witnessed a boy flirting with her. She couldn’t tell if Ty Lee was just
completely oblivious or if she enjoyed the attention. Her father was out
working on war things for the day and she had locked all of the doors shut. She
didn’t like the maids that always popped in and out of her room getting in the
way. Ty Lee had angered her in such a way that she didn’t know what to do.
Jealousy was something she only felt when Ty Lee was around. She had always
been the best at everything so there had never been another opportunity. But
whenever another boy even glanced at Ty Lee she became an irrational mess.
“Azula you’ve been making that face since you went with me to buy some more
clothes. What made you so mad while we were out?”
“Nothing.” Azula was normally a fantastic liar, but Ty Lee saw right through
her.
“You don’t have to lie to me Azula. It was that boy wasn’t it? I know you think
I’m stupid but I’m not blind you know.” Azula didn’t think Ty Lee was dumb. She
just thought she was a little ditzy at times, but she never thought she was
stupid.
“I don’t know why you flirt back with boys. You know one day I’m going to lose
my temper and incinerate you both.” Ty Lee approached her slowly and smiled.
“Please like any boy could be as smart as you.”
“Obviously.”
“Or as interesting, or talented, or strong. or beautiful, or as good a kisser.
No guy could ever be as perfect as you Azula.” Ty Lee was very close by that
point.
“Ty Lee you don’t have to restate the obvious. I know I’m perfect. I don’t
understand why you associate with bottom feeders if you already hang out with
someone as perfect as I-” Ty Lee’s mouth was all over Azula’s, hot and wet. She
pushed Azula down onto the throne and Azula was taken aback by Ty Lee’s abrupt
behavior. Ty Lee dominated so infrequently that sometimes Azula almost begged
for it. It was nothing more than intense kissing but it drove her mad. Ty Lee
pried into her mouth, plunging her tongue into her. She sucked Azula’s bottom
lip into her mouth, teasing and nipping at it. Azula’s arms wrapped around her
instinctually as Ty Lee straddled her on her throne. Something about being in
her future throne room drove Azula wild. She kissed back with feverish urgency,
pulling Ty Lee’s braid. Suddenly, Ty Lee’s mouth was on her neck. She found a
spot right behind Azula’s ear that made her moan with pleasure. Ty Lee giggled
into her neck, sending shivers up Azula’s spine. She gently licked the spot
before biting down on it, sucking on the delicate spot behind her ear. Azula
was going crazy, not knowing how to end her wanting. Ty Lee leaned into her
ear, her breath tickling her.
“You are so sexy when you’re full of yourself.” Azula felt a fire like she had
never known, but that she could not appease, no matter how many kisses passed
between them.
 
~
Azula looked away from Ty Lee as she recalled the last time she had something
like that. She tried her hardest to not feel desire for her anymore, yet it
just kept creeping up. But Ty Lee took it as a blatant statement of her dead
desire for her, and tried to hold in her disappointment in. Ty Lee wanted to
tell Azula she loved her to her face one day, but she would probably just laugh
in her face. Ty Lee would give anything to have Azula forgive her. Anything.
She tried not to talk to the Princess about their now dead relationship, but
sometimes she wanted to know what she thought about it.
Azula tried hard not to think about her dying relationship. She knew that it
was partially her fault. But if Ty Lee hadn’t betrayed her, she had had every
intention of telling her to stay. To not leave the castle, or her side for the
rest of time. She was going to tell her that someday she wanted to go all the
way with her, and even adopt children with Ty Lee. And as her duty she would
give birth to at least one child, but through borrowing a random man’s sperm,
so that she could have  a royal child. But it would always be Ty Lee’s child
too. And she and Ty Lee could have their own makeshift wedding after Ozai died.
That was what Azula had always dreamed of.
But they both had to get back to reality. The betrayals that had been made, and
the words left unsaid were too great a barrier to cross at the moment. Ty Lee
had almost told Azula she loved her, but she didn’t have the guts while she was
actually awake. Azula had no intentions of saying her feelings out loud. Or
that she was sorry for how she had taken her for granted this whole time. And
Ty Lee knew she hadn’t been wrong in saving Mai. So they were at a never ending
stand still. Ty Lee didn’t know when to tell Azula that she would be staying in
Ba Sing Se with her and her Uncle. She was going to rejoin the circus and get
her life back. She was going to get Azula back.
 
~
“Azula I can’t take living there anymore! They don’t care about me at all! I
swear they don’t even remember my name half of the time. I have to leave, I
just have to get away!”
“So you’re just going to leave?” Azula didn’t let her hurt show. She couldn’t
let Ty Lee know she was weak.
“Well I don’t want to leave you. You’re the only one who treats me like I’m
more than part of a matched set. And we’ve been friends... and more than
friends for quite some time now. I just can’t stay Azula.” Ty Lee was clutching
her bag. She had snuck into the palace to say goodbye before she left. Leaving
Azula was killing her inside. She couldn’t handle living with those people
anymore. She also couldn’t stand listening to Ozai plan to match her off with
the first boy who wasn’t scared away. She didn’t want to be secret lovers with
the Princess while she had competition. And with Azula, duty always won. It
always came before pleasure.
“Well, don’t forget to write me. I hope you have a nice life as a circus
freak.”
“I’ll come back. That is, if you’ll invite me back every once in awhile?” Ty
Lee looked up at her hopefully. Azula sighed, she couldn’t help but keep her
young acrobat around, even if letting her go was killing her.
“Tell me when you aren’t busy and you can come stay over for a few days. We’ll
have a sleepover or something. And I can make out with you until you have lost
all your senses.” She smiled and embraced her friend.
“Goodbye ‘Zula. I’ll be back I promise.” As soon as Ty Lee grudgingly left,
Azula was running down the corridors of the palace. She didn’t care if her
father caught her at the state she was in. She just wanted to find one of the
only people who would comfort her. She burst through the door without knocking
and the older woman looked at her with a sad expression. Azula slammed the door
shut and then slumped down to the floor. She balled her fists and she leaned
over to place her head just above the floor. The older woman with a dark
complexion, and jet black hair walked over and put her hand on Azula’s back.
Her burning brown eyes burrowed into her flesh, right at the nape of her neck.
“She left. She’s talked about it before but I never thought-” Azula started
choking on her own tears as the billowed down from her eyes. The woman pulled
her into a loving embrace, stroking her hair, shushing her tears away. She
rocked the Princess in her arms. She looked at her in the way only a mother
could, although she wasn’t her real mother. Azula had always considered this
woman her real mother, as Ursa never could be.
“Doesn’t she love me?” Azula choked.
“Of course she loves you. She just needs to take care of herself right now,
discover who she is without you and without all of those identical sisters. It
has nothing to do with you Azula. She will come back. Either that or you will
call upon her again. Don’t you think that if she thought she could do so, she
would have asked to stay with you? But then you father would eventually have
become suspicious of your relationship. It is better this way for now my love.
Until you two can find a way to live in peace.”
“When did you become so wise? I feel like such a child compared to you.”
“Oh Azula you are only thirteen. Well almost fourteen. You still have much to
learn about the world. But you two will find a way to be together.”
“I think I might love her.”
“Azula, you are quite in love with her. But you don’t have to tell her that
unless you want that. I know how much you love power, and that is something
that only you can give her. The power over your heart.”
 
~
“Hey Ty Lee. We’re docking right now.” Toph had poked her head in quickly.
“Okay thank you! Come on Azula we’re only a day away now!” Azula’s steps had
improved greatly over the past few days of actually eating real foods. She
walked without Ty Lee’s help like a confident Princess, proud and strong. She
smiled when she saw the dragon Kai and his mother had hidden from the world all
that time. He was long enough to easily fit all of them, and they had made a
few saddles.
“Well this is going to be lots of fun,” the Princess smirked in delight. She
had never been so excited to try flying in her life.
***** Chapter 6 *****
“How often does it firebend?” Firebending was the only sure way of getting
Azula’s attention. As they rode through the sky she couldn’t help but inspect
it. Dragons were the first firebenders, and Azula had never seen one in her
whole life. Mostly because her family had killed most of them, but that wasn’t
her fault. She had always wanted to see one, and now that she was riding on one
she didn’t know what to do.
“She only firebends when she has to. Or when she gets really angry. But that’s
kind of like what you do anyways,” Kai joked. Azula scowled at him, but was
still very interested.
“I firebend for other reasons too you know?”
“Yeah! She could probably heat up a cup of tea or make pancakes!” Ty Lee said
excitedly.
“Ty Lee that is the DUMBEST thing I have ever heard,” Azula said, rolling her
eyes.
“WELL that’s what I would do if I could firebend!” Ty Lee crossed her arms in
anger. Azula always acted like she was stupid, even though she wasn’t really. I
mean, pancakes are delicious!
“Don’t worry Ty Lee, I used to make cakes with airbending all the time! I would
actually love some pancakes right now,” Elyon joined in. The girl’s blond
braids were flopping in the intense wind as she held on for dear life. No
matter how many times Ellie flew, she never really got used to it.
“I would kill for some fire flakes right now,” Azula’s sister groaned. Kai
tossed a sack back at her.
“Look inside. In the front. I brought you fire flakes. I knew if we talked
about food you were going to complain,” Kai laughed. Maddie almost ripped the
bag apart looking for them. She squealed with delight when she found them, but
struggled to heat them up.
“Uh I haven’t practiced in so long!” Azula rolled her eyes and took them from
her. She quickly heated them up and then placed them in her sister’s lap.
“Thanks Azula!” Maddie smiled as she stuffed fire flakes into her mouth.
“I thought you weren’t allowed to firebend since you got out of prison,” Ty Lee
wondered.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t see any firebending,” Azula
smirked. It was true that she had been banned from firebending by her brother
the Fire Lord, but she had no intention of letting that stop her. It wasn’t as
though he would even know she was doing it. She wasn’t going to give up what
she loved doing, especially since Ty Lee, Maddie, and Kai had all worked so
hard for her to keep it.
“You better watch it Princess snobby pants. I might not be able to see you
right now, but that doesn’t mean I can’t drag you to prison as soon as we
land.”
“We’re in the Earth Kingdom. Kai is the one who makes the arrest decisions now.
Besides it’s not like you could actually see me firebend little blind girl.”
“Azula, could you at least try to play nice until we get to Ba Sing Se? I know
you aren’t exactly a people person, but I would like you to try. For me
please?” Maddie looked at her sister with pleading eyes.
“Only if you share some of your fire flakes.” Maddie clutched the bag.
“Well I guess everyone is going to have to deal with you being mean.” Azula
laughed at her little sister. Her obsession with fire flakes was borderline
insane.
“Great. How much longer do we have before we get there?” Ty Lee rolled her
eyes. Azula was getting on her nerves more than usual, even though she wasn’t
being as rude as normal. She knew that fairly soon she would have to spend
every day with Azula, something that made her fairly happy. Except that Azula
was always more cruel to her. Not that she could blame her, after she had
betrayed Azula.
“It should only take about thirty more minutes to get to the outer wall. I hope
your uncle doesn’t mind that we’re going to be getting there early.” Kai kept
his eyes on the sky, looking down to make sure they were still going the same
way.
“Why are we stopping at the outer wall?” Azula didn’t like the sound of that at
all. She had hoped to just fly all the way there, not be dropped off at the
outer wall.
“Well Zula, we’re taking the monorail into the city. Unfortunately, the only
place Kai can land is in the palace courtyard and you’re not allowed in just
yet,” her sister answered sadly.
“I understand not being trusted Maddie. I’m a natural threat. What I don’t
understand is why we’re using public transport.”
“Because it’s the fastest way into the city. If we had you go by coach, you
would have to take all of the crowded streets in the lower ring. And it would
take you hours.”
“Well who is escorting Maddie back to the palace? Uncle has to watch me after
all.” She hoped it was Ty Lee taking her. The sooner she got away from her the
better.
“I’ll be coming to get her,” Kai said quietly.
“Yeah! It will give me a chance to visit with Uncle and make sure that you’re
all settled in,” Maddie said smiling at her.
“Oh yes, his royal tea loving kookiness. These will certainly be the best years
of my young life,” Azula retorted. Ty Lee couldn’t help but be nervous about
telling her she would be there too. She didn’t want Azula exploding on her or
Maddie. They finally landed by the outer wall and Kai shuffled ahead to show
the guards their papers.
“Well I guess this is where we leave you,” Toph said, hugging the younger
Princess.
“It was wonderful to see you again Princess Azula. It was very nice to see you
again Ty Lee, and as always my nephew and his dear friend Maddie,” Elyon said
with great sincerity.
“Don’t be afraid to come visit!” Ty Lee said as she embraced the young blond
girl. Azula raised her brow at Ty Lee. Ty Lee wasn’t staying... was she? No she
couldn’t be. She didn’t have anywhere to stay. It wasn’t like Kyoshi where
practically anyone would take her in. They were all let inside the walls, and
waited outside for the next train. Luckily, they had been right on schedule as
the train pulled into the station. Kai kissed Maddie on the cheek.
“I’ll see you in a few hours. Please be careful.” They all rushed onto the
train, Ty Lee pushing Azula excitedly. They all sat, with Azula crammed into a
corner. The train started pushing off, and Azula looked out the window
pensively.
“Ty Lee, why did you tell them that they should come visit?” Azula demanded. Ty
Lee almost froze, but quickly came up with a clever lie.
“Well Ba Sing Se is gorgeous of course! And Toph really likes your uncle! I do
too, he’s so funny!” Maddie’s head whipped around to look at Ty Lee.
You didn’t tell her yet?! She mouthed to her.
What was I supposed to say? Ty Lee mouthed back to Maddie. Azula almost caught
them, and Ty Lee awkwardly started to whistle like nothing was happening.
“Ty Lee, why are you so.... so.... so?”
“So what Azula?”
“Uh, stupid! Why are you so stupid and annoying! It’s like your head is full of
air!”
“Well at least I didn’t spend the last two years in a mental hospital,” Ty Lee
retorted.
“Well at least I’m not a silly little girl who only gets what she wants because
she’s pretty.”
“Well at least I can still go home to a family who actually loves me!”
“Whoa you two enough enough!!!” Maddie stood between them, “I don’t know what’s
going on with you two but the tension is so thick I could cut some of it with a
knife and eat it!”
“Azula started it.”
“I may have started it little girl but I can also end it!”
“Whatever Azula. I don’t even care enough to fight with you.” Ty Lee sat back
down with her arms pulled across her chest. Maybe it was a bad idea to live
with Azula. She hadn’t forgiven her, not even a little.
Azula felt guilty that she had been so cruel to Ty Lee. She didn’t know what
else she could say, she just wasn’t- well she just wasn’t nice. She really
liked Ty Lee, but she wasn’t going to apologize. Ty Lee hadn’t done anything to
deserve an apology.
“You two could really use some therapy to figure everything out. You two are
acting worse than you did when you were little.” The train finally stopped and
they all proceeded to get off the train. As they walked off, Maddie spotted the
kind old man first.
“Uncle Iroh!” she screamed as she ran towards him. She hugged him to her in a
tight embrace. Iroh laughed as he tried to pull her off.
“You act like you haven’t seen me in ages child.”
“I haven’t seen you in ages!” He pulled her off and looked at his other niece
and her friend.
“Well hello Azula, Ty Lee. It’s good to see both of you again.”
“Oh spare me your fake happiness Uncle.”
“Hello Iroh! It’s wonderful to see you!” Ty Lee ran over and hugged him as
well. Azula rolled her eyes at her silly friend. Well, if friend is what you
could call it.
“Come on Azula it’s only a small walk. And then I can make you a nice cup of
tea and you can relax. And I can catch up with your sister.”
“Well it seems that I don’t really have a choice now do I?” They walked through
the street, with Iroh and Maddie in front and Azula and Ty Lee trailing behind.
“Hey Azula?”
“What now?” she replied in her normal, irritated tone.
“I’m sorry about everything I said on the train.” Azula raised her eyebrow at
her.
“Yeah, well I suppose I’m sorry too.” They finally made it to Iroh’s new home,
which he had saved up to buy in the upper ring. Azula often suspected that
Maddie had donated to the cause, but didn’t bother asking. They walked inside,
and Azula couldn’t help but notice how there was nothing that even resembled
the Fire Nation, not even one keepsake.
“Azula, why don’t you sit down while I show Ty Lee her room?”
“What you’re so poor you can’t even afford a hotel for one night?”
“Actually, I wanted to tell you earlier, but I’m going to be living here,” Ty
Lee said nervously.
“You have to be kidding me Uncle.”
“Well I was going to rejoin the circus, so it’s not like you’ll see me around
all that often.”
 
~
  “The Royal Procession is dead weight. If I want to catch my prey, I must be
agile, nimble. I need a small elite team. It’s time to visit some old friends.”
Azula smiled as she thought of her young acrobat friend. She knew where she
would find her, and where she would find Mai. Although she wasn’t looking
forward to finding Mai. Not like she was with Ty Lee.
“Ty Lee, could that possibly be you?” She watched her friend standing on her
two fingers.
“Azula!” She flipped out of a stance, twirling into a bow on the ground. Azula
really did hate all of the formality. They had known each other since they were
six after all. She popped up and ran forward to embrace Azula.
“It’s so good to see you!” Ty Lee really meant it. She had missed Azula more
than anything, she had written to her often. But nothing compared to actually
seeing her Princess in person.
“Please, don't let me interrupt your...” she said raising her brow in wonder,
“Whatever it is you were doing.” Ty Lee, still smiling, does a backflip and
ends up lying on her chest with one leg stretched out over her head and the
other straight up to the sky.
“Tell me, what is the daughter of a nobleman doing here? Certainly our parents
didn't send us to the Royal Fire Academy for Girls to end up in... places like
this.”Ty Lee frowned. Azula knew exactly what she was doing there. She hated
when Azula had to use all the formality in her speeches.
“I have a proposition for you. I'm hunting a traitor. You remember my old
fuddy-duddy uncle, don't you?”Azula asked, looking down at her nails.
“Oh yeah. He was so funny.”
“I would be honored if you would join me on my mission.”
“Oh... I... uh... would love to.” She stood up in a fluid elegant movement,
“But the truth is, I'm really happy here,” she said smiling sincerely, “I mean,
my aura has never been pinker!”
“I'll take your word for it. Well, I wouldn't want you to give up the life you
love just to please me.” Azula was clearly lying. She was secretly disappointed
that Ty Lee was choosing the circus over her. She knew that she should just
ignore it and leave and that would be the end of it. Ty Lee bowed, thankful
that Azula was just going to leave it be. Although... it didn’t seem very
Azula-like to her.
“Thank you, Azula.” Azula started walking away, leaving Ty Lee to stretch. But
something stopped her. She couldn’t walk away from Ty Lee without getting what
she wanted. It just wasn’t in her blood.
“Of course, before I leave, I'm going to catch your show.”
“Uh... yeah... sure... uh... of course...” Ty Lee started to panic. She should
have just done what Azula said. She knew that Azula always got what she wanted.
She should have just agreed. Now she would have to suffer whatever punishment
Azula thought was necessary. And she was scared.
“We're deeply honored to have the Fire Lord's daughter at our humble
circus.Uh...tell us if there is anything we can do to make the show more
enjoyable,” the ring master said nervously.
“I will,” Azula said with a smirk. She was going to get what she wanted. Ty Lee
stepped out on the tightrope, trying her best to keep her balance. All she
could feel was terror, not because she was up so high. She had done this a
million times, but she knew Azula was out there. And Azula wasn’t just going to
let this go. She never let anything go when she wanted it.
“Incredible. Do you think she’ll fall?”
“Of course not.”
“Then wouldn’t it make it interesting if you removed the net?”
“Uh...the thing is...the performers...”
“You're right, you're right. That's been done,” she said, thinking for a
moment, “I know. Set the net on fire.”
“Of course, Princess,” he said worriedly. He set the net on fire, and Ty Lee
looked down worried. She looked at Azula, not knowing if she could see her or
not. Why would she do this to her? Hadn’t they been something? Weren’t they
still something?
“Brilliant, just brilliant! Ooooh, what kind of dangerous animals do you have?”
she asked ecstatically. The ringmaster looked at her, hoping to get Ty Lee away
from her doom.
“Well, our circus boasts the most exotic assortment-”
“Release them all!”
Azula went into her dressing room, feeling a twinge of guilt. She wished she
could have just left it alone. She wished she could have just walked away. But
when it came to Ty Lee, she just couldn’t.
“What an exquisite performance. I can't wait to see how you'll top yourself
tomorrow.”
“I'm sorry Azula, but unfortunately there won't be a show tomorrow.” Ty Lee
smiled at Azula through the mirror.
“Really?” Ty Lee hung up her tiara.
“The universe has given me strong hints that it's time for a career change,”
she turned around to face Azula, “I want to join you on your mission.” Azula
looked extremely satisfied. The only way to get Ty Lee to do what she wanted
was either to make her fear her or make her happy. Azula crept in closer to Ty
Lee.
“I hate punishing you. But you make it too easy.”
“I don’t mind. I like when you’re forceful,” Ty Lee whispered. Azula was
cornering her like a hunted animal.
“Oh is that so?” Azula let out a devilish grin. She pinned Ty Lee to the wall,
“Is that why you disobey so much?”
“Quite possibly,” she grinned. She knew how unhealthy their relationship
sometimes got, but she didn’t care. Azula’s mouth was hovering right above her
ear.
“I missed you,” she whispered huskily. Ty Lee wrapped her hands around Azula’s
waist.
“Is that so?” Her mouth was on her neck, and Ty Lee moaned.
“What if someone walks in?”
“Then they’ll just see how lucky I am won’t they?”
“Well you were born lucky,” she said as her eyes almost rolled into the back of
her head. She sometimes wished she and Azula would just figure out how to end
their frustration.
“I missed you too.” Her voice sounded hoarse as she struggled for coherent
thoughts. Azula bit down forcefully, making Ty Lee whimper.
“Is that why you wrote me just about everyday?” She bit again, “Is that why you
left?” Ty Lee was like butter every time she touched her.
“You know how I feel about you,” she struggled to get out. Her nails were
digging into her hands. And she loved every minute.
“But you know I couldn’t live with you!” Azula pulled away. She smiled.
“I know. I just like any excuse to be rough with you.”
***** Chapter 7 *****
Maddie sat down with her cup of tea and looked across the table at her annoyed
sister. She had known this would be the result of allowing Ty Lee to live with
her, but she hadn’t expected the blatant rage in her eyes as she watched her
sister like she was Zuko. That was something that made Maddie uncomfortable,
even though she had nothing to do with the actual decision. The actual decision
had been made by Iroh and Ty Lee, as Ty Lee was hoping to live close by. But
from the way Azula was looking at her, she could tell that it was too close for
comfort. That hadn’t been what she had ever intended for her sister, but she
hadn’t known the depth of the love affair between the two until recently.
“So just spit it out. Tell me the rules of my existence here. I’m dying to
know,” Azula’s voice sounded as though she was bored, but her eyes were still
penetrating her sisters.
“You are to live here with Uncle and work at his tea shop, everyday Monday thru
Thursday. Then, every Friday afternoon, either Kai or myself will come to pick
you up. And you’ll spend the weekends at the palace with us, honored as a
Princess, just like normal. You are not supposed to firebend, but in reality I
don’t see how we can stop you from doing so. So, you are allowed to practice in
the courtyards with Kai or myself all you want. And you may use it for
household tasks and self defense. That is the best I can do, under the
circumstances.”
“Did you have something to do with this development Maddie dear?” Azula didn’t
honestly think her sister had anything to do with her almost lover being in the
same house as her. She wondered if she had previous knowledge of it.
“I did know it was going to happen but all of the decisions and conversations
were between Uncle and Ty Lee herself. I actually went as far as to say I
thought it was a bad idea. Although I kept that to myself until recently.”
Azula smiled. Well, Ty Lee’s life was about to become a living hell. She would
leave soon enough. Not before Azula fucked her brains out though. Azula wasn’t
going to let her leave without that first.
“Well Maddie, that all seems easy enough.”
“I’m glad. I just want you off the drugs and back to your normal snarky self.”
Ty Lee and Iroh came in a sat down. Ty Lee, for whatever reason sat down right
next to her. Azula put her hand on top of Ty Lee’s, smirking at her. Ty Lee
blushed a little, but didn’t move away. Well, this might be more fun than she
thought. Azula thought that she would actually like if Ty Lee stayed, for a
long time. Even if she only ever saw her in her bedroom.
Ty Lee was having a hard time ignoring her desire for the Princess. They hadn’t
touched each other that way in two years, and all the pent up need was wearing
on her. Every time the Princess looked at her, she would go mad. She thought
about dragging the Princess into the nearest closed door so they could stop
this madness. Or she could at least finally be satisfied in a way she had
longed for for years now. But she knew if she gave in too soon, Azula would
just laugh at her and leave when she was done with her. That was one of the
best parts about being a tease. She could keep going until she got what she
wanted, a full relationship.
“So how was the journey here ladies?” Iroh poured himself a cup of tea. Azula
smirked, slowly getting closer to Ty Lee.
“There was nothing too eventful. You know how the sea goes Uncle. Why don’t you
ask Ty Lee about the Kyoshi warriors?”
“Ty Lee that sounds like a wonderful idea!”
“Oh well it was really-” she stopped as she felt Azula’s hand slipping in
between her crossed legs. Azula was just looking ahead as though she wasn’t
doing anything. Ty Lee was startled, but something inside her was telling her
she wanted more. And when Azula started to lightly touch through her pants, she
could have lost it.
“Yes?” Iroh looked at her as though she had five heads. Azula wanted her to try
to keep up her act while she did that. Ty Lee smirked a devious smirk and then
continued. Challenge accepted.
“It was really nice. We traded moves and they were all so nice to me.
Especially Sokka and Suki. They were so wonderful! And all of the boys in the
village were so kind.” She couldn’t believe she was holding her own as Azula
rubbed her clit through her pants. Ty Lee was dying from desire. Azula could
barely contain her own as she watched her friend struggle through the
conversation. But Ty Lee could play games. She reached her hand over and
touched Azula. Azula’s eyes grew wide for a moment but then she was back to her
normal self. Azula knew herself based off of her own exploration of her body.
She knew she could orgasm quietly. She didn’t think Ty Lee could. But Ty Lee
touching her was something completely different than what she could do herself.
Azula wondered what kind of dangerous game she had started. But her Uncle was
getting up for more tea, and they both retracted their hands as though their
life depended on it. Azula smirked at Ty Lee, and Ty Lee blushed.
“I swear you two have telepathy or something the way you two communicate with
just your expressions. It’s really incredible.”
“It just takes almost ten years of practice that’s all,” Azula chuckled. Ty Lee
was more flustered than she’d anticipated.
 
~
“I can’t believe you did that!” Ty Lee yelled when they were finally alone.
“Don’t act like you didn’t like it.” Azula was all smirks for her very
frustrated friend. Ty Lee couldn’t take her eyes off of her, “You were so wet
your pants were damp.” Ty Lee blushed and tried to brush it off.
“You can’t do that in front of people!”
“We got away with it. Besides, you didn’t try to move my hand.”
“Whatever you’re just trying to mess with me. It’s not like you still want me
after all this time. I know you think I’m stupid but I’m not that stupid.”
Azula got off the bed and stalked over to her with the most serious look on her
face.
“I don’t think you’re stupid Ty Lee I think what you just said was stupid. I
have never stopped wanting you. And now that I know what I can do with you
body, I want you all the time. Just looking at you is enough to get me excited.
And when you do all of that contortion stuff it drives me mad.”
“Then you’re just going to fuck me and leave right?” Azula raised her brow.
“That’s what I thought I should do initially. But you’re right. Just because
you’re a traitor doesn’t mean I can’t still have feelings for you. It just
means I don’t trust you. I trust you as much as my talent at waterbending
extends.” Ty Lee smiled.
“Well I’m not asking you to trust me. I’m just asking if it can be the way it
was.”
“Maybe we can make it better.” Azula got really close.
“Not yet.” Azula raised her brow, “I need to trust you. Even if you don’t trust
me.”
“How childish Ty Lee.”
“I need to know that you’re not just going to leave. That you have more
motivation in life than just taking back your title.”
“You might be waiting for an awfully long time Ty.”
 
~
Eleven year old Azula stood near her father. Her brother hadn’t been banished
yet, although her father never hid his disdain for him. Azula was the perfect
child, in every way. She had never messed up, not once. That was until that
day. All three children were lined up, and Ozai was assessing them. He stood in
front of Zuko first. Surprisingly, he would not fail.
“Zuko, what is your duty?”
“To serve you, father. And learn everything needed to carry on the legacy that
has been set forth by Sozin, Azulon, and now you of course father.” He nodded,
and then turned to Maddie.
“And you?”
“To marry someone with a high title, and bring the family honor.”
“Good.” He walked over to Azula assessing her. She was willful, but rarely with
him.
“And you Azula?”
“I will marry.” Azula thought that she had responded correctly.
“Who will you marry?”
“Ty Lee,” she said without even thinking about it. Ozai’s hand was on her wrist
within an instant and she was being burned. She tried to keep her mouth shut,
but it was harder than she had thought as he burned into her wrist.
“You will not dishonor this family do you understand? I will not have a woman
lover in our family do you hear me!” Tears stung the corners of her eyes. Her
siblings looked in fear, terrified that if they intervened they would be next.
“Ozai that is enough!” Iroh yelled. He had entered the room, in an angry
fashion. He tore his brother’s arm away from Azula, who was too stunned to
move. Her wrist was completely red all the way around, completely scorched with
his hatred. Without thinking she ran. She ran out to the courtyard, and hid
behind the tree. Her wrist was in  unexplainable pain. She sobbed under the
tree. She heard footsteps and got into a firebending stance, ready to defend
herself. Her real mother appeared and she ran towards her. The woman carried
her to her rooms, where she barred the doors.
“Kai, get the herbs for burns now.” Kai ran around, the little nine year old
scurrying to get what his mother had asked for. He came back with a cream like
substance that smelled horribly.  She quickly spread it over Azula’s wounds and
she gritted her teeth in pain. She quickly wrapped it in a bandage. Azula clung
to her shawl, crying. She didn’t care that Kai saw her.
“What happened little one?”
“He-he asked me what my duty was and I said to marry. He asked who and I didn’t
think about it so I answered Ty Lee. And then he burned me.”
“Dear, you know that he won’t like that. You just have to hope that Zuko
becomes Fire Lord so that you can marry whoever you want.”
“I just love her! Why does it matter who I marry!”
“It’s cuz you won’t be able to have babies. You don’t even like babies,” Kai
muttered.
“But Zuko and Maddie can have babies. Why does it matter if I do?”
“He thinks you got the best genes. He just wants you to have more children like
him.”
“But I don’t want to be like him! I want him to love me but I don’t want to
burn children. I mean I hate them but I don’t hate them that much.”
“You don’t have to be like him. You have so much of Ursa in you.”
“I don’t want to be like her either!”
 
~
Ty Lee woke up to Azula screaming in her sleep again. She bolted from her room
into Azula’s. She jumped into her bed and shook her.
“Azula! Azula you have to wake up!” Her eyes burst open and her crying started.
She clung to Ty Lee as though she would die without her.
“I don’t want to be like either of them! I hate them both!” She blubbered into
Ty Lee.
“You don’t have to be like them!”
“He burned me. He burned me because I wanted to marry you! Because I wanted to
be with you! How could being with you be wrong?”
“It isn’t wrong. Don’t let him put ideas in your head. He doesn’t control you
anymore.”
“He said he doesn’t want any women lovers in his family. That I’m a disgrace
like Zuko.”
“You aren’t. You are perfect just the way you are!” Azula looked so damaged, so
alone. Ty Lee didn’t know what to do but snuggle her as she shook in her arms.
“Leaves from the vine, falling so slow. Like fragile, tiny shells drifting in
the foam. Little soldier boy, come marching home. Brave little soldier boy,
come marching home,” Ty Lee sang quietly. Azula stopped, her mind finally clear
again.
“I need you Ty Lee. I hate telling you, but I need you. Don’t leave me again.”
“Never. Never again.”
***** Chapter 8 *****
Chapter Summary
     Sex warning!
"Hey Azula, why do Juniper and Kai live here? They aren't royalty, but they've
been here for as long as I can remember," Ty Lee mused.
“She told me the story once. I’m afraid you might get bored quickly.”
“I never get bored when you’re talking ‘Zula!” Ty Lee rolled onto her belly on
Azula’s bed. She watched Azula intently.
“Well it goes like this. Almost one hundred years ago, the Fire Nation attacked
the Western Air temple. Two people escaped, a boy named Cain and a girl named
Elyon. Somehow, someway they were frozen in time in the room they had escaped
to. About eighty years later, Cain was unfrozen but Elyon wasn’t. Despite his
constant pleading, she wouldn’t come unfrozen. So he fled to the Earth Kingdom,
not sure if the war was yet over. There, in the city of Omashu, he met a
beautiful girl, named Ninnoc. He fell in love with her, and she fell in love
with him. And they were extremely happy together. She was an Earth Kingdom
Princess, and her father was planning their wedding. They visited another city,
that was captured by the Fire Nation that same day. Ninnoc was taken prisoner
of war. So Cain went all the way to the Fire Nation. He pleaded with the Fire
Lord, my grandfather Azulon, to allow her to live in the palace. In exchange,
he would fight for the Fire Nation as the only airbender in the war. My
grandfather agreed. They were married in this palace, and they had a son that
they named Kai. When he was two years old, Cain was forced to join a minor
battle with my uncle Iroh. He died in battle, leaving Ninnoc with Kai to raise
alone.”
“So why do we call her Juniper?”
“I guess it was a nickname Ursa gave to her. And it just stuck because as kids
we all had a hard time pronouncing it.”
“So... they’re prisoners of war? Like, they can’t leave?”
“They can’t leave without permission. I don’t even know if Kai knows he’s a
Prince. Although he does act like one.”
“Do you think Fire Lord Ozai will try to marry them? Kai and your sister I
mean.”
“I’m sure he will. He could do nothing but benefit from that.”
~
Azula had been working for her Uncle for almost a week by that point. It was
Thursday and she couldn’t wait to go to the palace and relax with her sister.
She couldn’t stand the peasant life. She was good at her job, being able to
memorize every order in a packed house and who had ordered it. She had always
been able to take charge. Her Uncle made a point of telling her just how
talented she was on a daily basis. All of the other servers shrunk whenever
Azula was in the room, but of course why wouldn’t they? Even if they didn’t
know who she was, she was obviously someone to be feared. She didn’t hate her
dismal job as much as she thought she would, but only for that reason: fear.
Ty Lee came in everyday after her rehearsals were over. This circus luckily
only played starting Friday nights until Sunday night. She had many shows in
between, morning, afternoon and night. But Azula would be away all weekend, so
she didn’t mind having something to do. Yet in only a week she had noticed
something that had made her uneasy. There was a certain pesky annoyance that
walked into the tea shop everyday around the same time as her, but it wasn’t
for her. She sat down in her normal spot to watch him carefully. She watched
Azula approach him to ask for his order, and she watched the way he looked at
her. It made her mad. It made her more mad than she had ever been in all her
years.
Azula didn’t notice what was so obvious to Ty Lee. She walked back to the
counter to tell her Uncle what he wanted, going about her business as usual. Ty
Lee stormed up to the counter, more forcefully than normal. Azula raised her
brow to her friend as Ty Lee pulled Azula into the kitchen.
“Ty Lee I’m going to take my break in a minute.”
“Did you notice anything different about that guy you were serving?” They both
peaked out to see him staring.
“Yeah he’s staring at you. Big deal. Lots of guys stare at you.”
“No he’s been in here all week looking at YOU!” Ty Lee whispered furiously.
“Please I’m sure he’s just one of the regulars.” Azula rolled her eyes.
“No he is definitely looking at you!”
“Calm down and drink the tea I’m going to bring you in a minute. You’re just
imagining things. Like any boys actually look at me, especially in a work
uniform.”
“Azula, why are you so stupid sometimes?” She stormed back to her table and
eyed the boy with much anger. She watched Azula walk towards the boy with his
tea.
“Hey, Azula right?”
“Yes, what do you want?”
“Are you doing anything after this?”
“As a matter of fact, yes.” Azula put the tea down on his table and walked
away. The boy looked disappointed. He then looked over at Ty Lee and walked
over.
“Hey can I ask about your friend?” Ty Lee’s vicious gaze met the boys eyes.
“Well, is she really doing anything later? Because I’d really like to take her
out-”
“Come outside with me. I’ll tell you.” He eagerly followed Ty Lee, and Azula
watched the scene in confusion. Ty Lee had just been angry mere seconds ago.
Why was she going somewhere with him?
“I think it’s time for your break Azula,” her smiling Uncle called to her.
Azula threw down the apron and walked out to listen to them in the alleyway.
She heard the boys voice first.
“So what exactly is she doing? I think she’s really hot and-” Ty Lee pinned the
boy against the wall, with a complete glare on her face.
“You know what she’s doing later buddy? She’s going to be fucking me. She’s not
interested so get lost!” Ty Lee put on a devilish grin and then suddenly chi
blocked him. He slumped to the ground and she walked away. She skipped away
with the biggest grin on her face. Azula stood in the doorway of the tea shop
as Ty Lee walked over to her.
“Oh! I’m sorry you must be on break now!”
“So what did you say to him?” Azula’s brow was raised as she pretended she
hadn’t heard.
“Oh he just wanted to know how to get you. So I told him he’d have better luck
somewhere else is all.” Ty Lee’s smile was so large that Azula had a hard time
holding in her satisfaction in her jealousy. They went back and sat at the
table, drinking their tea like nothing was wrong. That night at closing, Azula
was extra quick and efficient. Iroh almost wondered what had transpired between
the two girls earlier that day. He wondered if he should stay instead of going
out for the night like he had planned, but he knew that Ty Lee could handle
herself. After they had a quiet dinner, without Azula saying anything, Iroh
stood.
“Well I’m going out for the night. Going to see some old friends. You girls
will be alright?”
“Uncle we’re not five. We’re grown women. We’ll be just fine.” Iroh couldn’t
help but feel a little nervous for the poor brunette next to his niece. He knew
they had to deal with whatever was between them. He was still hesitant to
leave, and his older man wisdom told him not to go. But he went all the same.
Azula smirked with the excitement of being left alone. She knew she had the
advantage. But then again, she always did. Azula couldn’t wait to corner Ty
Lee, and make her assertion from earlier come true. All of their previous
encounters had been leading up to this moment, and Azula couldn’t help but wait
for her moment of opportunity.
Ty Lee obediently started washing the dishes in the sink. It wasn’t as though
she expected Azula to help. She had never washed a dish in her entire life. Not
that Ty Lee had ever been all that good at washing things. She just didn’t want
Azula to do too much more, after she knew she was probably tired and irritated.
She knew how much Azula hated working in the tea shop, and she felt guilty that
she was at least doing what she loved all day. Azula walked in and noticed how
Ty Lee slumped her shoulders as she washed the last dish. She walked over,
slowly putting her hands on Ty Lee’s shoulders making her jump.
“You’ve been working all day. You should take a break for a minute Ty.”
“Oh but it’s not as bad as what you do all day.” Azula started to massage her
aching shoulders. Azula leaned in, catching the smell of Ty Lee’s hair and
skin. Her mouth was near Ty Lee’s ear.
“Let me make you feel good,” she whispered huskily. Ty Lee shivered, and
couldn’t help but nod. Azula smiled as she whirled Ty Lee around and threw her
up on the counter. Her lips were on Ty Lee’s as she parted her legs. She leaned
into Ty Lee and Ty Lee sighed. Azula opened her mouth, her tongue swirling
around her warm wet crevice, her hands kneading Ty Lee’s knees. Ty Lee moaned
into Azula’s mouth, wrapping her arms around Azula’s neck. Azula bit on Ty
Lee’s bottom lip, making her moan into her mouth. Azula smirked into her mouth.
She moved her mouth down to Ty Lee’s neck, sucking and biting. Ty Lee could
have gone mad. She pressed her nails into Azula’s shoulders, which made Azula
shudder. Ty Lee did it again and Azula started biting the other girl’s neck.
Azula moved up to her ear, licking the lobe. Ty Lee moaned in excitement as the
girl’s teeth bit down on her ear. Her hot breath was in her ear, driving her
mad.
“Do you want me?” Azula whispered. Ty Lee nodded furiously.
“Do you want me to end your misery tonight? Or wait?” Ty Lee looked into
Azula’s eyes. Her eyes were burning with desire, and she didn’t think about the
consequences. Her mouth was burning on Azula’s in an instant. Azula wrapped Ty
Lee’s legs around her waist as she carried her to her bedroom, slamming the
door shut with her foot. She was getting tired, after not being able to
exercise in two years. She pushed Ty Lee onto the bed and followed her down. Ty
Lee was tearing at Azula’s clothes, trying to get them off. The young
firebender practically jumped out of them, and then started to throw Ty Lee’s
clothes off. She stared down at Ty Lee’s pink lacy bra and panties and her soul
lit with desire. Ty Lee’s lips were on hers and she moaned into Ty Lee. Their
bodies were touching and Ty Lee thought she would die in anticipation. Azula
had turned her past the point of no return, as soon as she had seen those
practical red undergarments. Azula tore off Ty Lee’s bra and underwear and
basked in her body. Ty Lee blushed as she watched Azula looking down upon her.
“You are so beautiful,” Azula whispered as she took a nipple in her mouth. Ty
Lee could have lost it right there. Azula’s tongue was swirling around her
exposed breast. She felt Azula’s teeth graze her nipple and she moaned.
“Azula!” Azula smirked as she continued to the next breast, careful not to
neglect the valley between them. Ty Lee was panting as Azula started to reach
with her free hand towards her thigh. Azula’s nimble fingers brushed the inside
of her thigh and she groaned in ecstasy. Then, Azula’s forehead was near her
own, as her fingers were on Ty Lee’s entrance. She slid one finger into her
soft wetness, and Ty Lee groaned. Azula carefully started to rub Ty Lee’s clit
with her thumb. She started to pump in and out. Ty Lee’s cries were getting
louder and louder, her whole body shuddering under Azula. When Azula inserted
another finger, she clenched her hands onto Azula’s shoulders. Her hips started
to move of their own accord, meeting Azula’s fingers for every stroke. Azula’s
force started to increase and Ty Lee, got closer and closer to her breaking
point until she had a large scream of pleasure, her liquids drenching Azula’s
fingertips. She licked Ty Lee’s juices off of her hand, giving a devilish
smirk. Suddenly, Ty Lee flipped Azula onto her back.
Ty Lee quickly stripped Azula down to nothing, and she looked in awe at Azula’s
glorious naked form. She started on the place behind Azula’s ear that always
elicited a moan. Ty Lee took Azula’s hair down from her topknot, reveling in
the feel of her hair against her skin. She leaned into Azula’s ear, her hot
breath on Azula.
“You didn’t think I was going to let you have all the fun now did you?” she
whispered as she bit Azula’s ear. Azula loved when Ty Lee took control. It
drove her mad. Ty Lee’s mouth was on her neck, and her hands were on her
breasts. She stroked Azula’s nipples, and she heard the intake of breath. She
smiled against Azula’s neck as she continued. She slowly lowered her mouth to
Azula’s collarbone, biting softly. Her mouth enveloped one perky nipple,
stroking, tasting her. Her hand started to stroke Azula’s entrance. Azula
moaned, ready for the pleasure she was about to receive. But Ty Lee had a
different idea. Her mouth got lower and lower, until she was right above the
one part of Azula she had only been able to dream about. Azula was panting in
pleasure as she looked down at the little acrobat. But Ty Lee started kissing
down Azula’s inner thigh and she started to feel all the pressure building even
higher.
“Tease,” she panted helplessly. It wasn’t a position she was in all that often.
That’s when Ty Lee couldn’t help but put her mouth on the part Azula was
begging for. She never denied her anything. Azula nearly jumped out of her skin
as Ty Lee’s mouth was on Azula’s clit, making her moan. Ty Lee felt so powerful
as she saw Azula writhing in pleasure, her neck arched back. Her body arched
into her, and she slid a finger in. Azula met Ty Lee, her body no longer under
her control. Her body finally convulsed with pleasure, and Ty Lee caught her
sweet liquids in her mouth. She licked her lips and Azula pulled her up towards
her.
“How about round two tomorrow Princess?” Azula smiled.
“Well, if you tell more guys I’m going to fuck you, it might be arranged.”
“It got you into bed with me now didn’t it?” Azula looked at her with a shocked
expression. Ty Lee had planned it all along. Ty Lee snuggled into her, and
Azula pulled the blankets around them.
“Azula?”
“Yeah?”
“It was the perfect way to lose my virginity. Just so you know.”
“It was the perfect way for me too.”
***** Chapter 9 *****
~
Azula woke with all of her muscles aching. She silently wondered if her muscles
ached because of picking Ty Lee up, since her arms hurt the most. She reached
over to the empty spot next to her and sighed. Why would Ty Lee actually stay?
Had she really been that stupid? She had gotten what she wanted and left. Of
course she had. No one stayed with Azula unless they could benefit from it.
Azula sat up and set her head in her hands. She silently swore vengeance on
everyone who had ever done something like this to her.
“Good morning sleepy head!” Ty Lee burst in with a cup in her hand, all smiles.
Azula looked up, and felt an internal sigh of relief. She smiled shyly, not
sure what she was doing. The Princess felt a little off guard for the first
time in a long time. Ty Lee sat on the bed next to her.
“I know how much you hate tea, so I made you some coffee!” She handed the cup
to Azula, who took it gratefully. She took a sip, and was surprised to actually
like what she tasted. It was the first thing she had tasted in the Earth
Kingdom that hadn’t been completely bland. She smiled down into it, trying not
to show how happy she was. She didn’t want Ty Lee to have any advantages over
her.
“So Kai is coming to get you at noon.”
“What time is it now?”
“It’s about ten thirty.” Ty Lee started to get up.
“Ty?” Ty Lee turned around, still smiling her normal smile.
“Don’t worry Azula. It meant nothing. I know. You don’t have to tell me,” she
said in her normal, cheerful voice. Azula raised her brow and continued to
stare into her coffee.
“Actually I wasn’t going to say that. I was going to say I’m sad that I wasn’t
awake early enough for another round or two. Oh and this coffee is really
good,” She smirked up at her. Ty Lee smiled and blushed.
“Well, uh, I’ll just.... leave you to get ready.” Azula smirked and got up. Ty
Lee belonged to her, after all the time she had waited. She finally had her
right where she wanted her: underneath her. Literally. She ran the brush
through her hair and pulled it up into a topknot. She tied a small green ribbon
in the top of it, and smiled into the mirror. She was finally going to get some
more royal treatment, something she obviously deserved. She carried her coffee
out to the table and sat down. She bit down into a very bland Pau bun, making
her long for Fire Nation food. She knew her sister would have some and for that
she was grateful. Ty Lee sat down and made a disgusted face as she took a bite
of the same thing.
“I’ll try to bring you back something so you stop making that face.” Ty Lee
smiled.
“Oh! You should bring back some fire gummies! I hope she doesn’t try to make
you eat smoked sea slug again. You had such a hard time pretending you liked it
when we were little.” Azula made a disgusted face as she remembered pretending
to like her father’s favorite food. Maddie had said it was decent, but she
hadn’t liked it much either. They had to lie their way through dinner once a
week, and when they had been seven, she had made Ty Lee wash her mouth out with
soap.
“I think you should go buy some soap just in case Ty Lee.” Ty Lee giggled.
“I’ll do just that!” Ty Lee’s grin was almost infectious. Almost. There was a
knock at the door, and Ty Lee jumped up to get it.
“Hello Kai! Come in I got Azula up a while ago!” Kai walked in the door with a
smile on his face. He had always had faith that hard work couldn’t do anything
to Azula. He had even hoped it would improve her spirits. She looked a lot like
she had, and that gave him a sense of relief. She smirked at him and he smirked
back. The only one who fully understood Azula was Kai, because they were so
much alike that it scared Azula. Except, instead of power, he was motivated by
his love for her sister.
“So I see your fuddy-duddy uncle hasn’t killed you yet.”
“No. His royal tea loving kookiness hasn’t been the end of me. If the Avatar,
Zuzu, and the insane asylum couldn’t destroy me, then what makes you think he
is capable?” Azula smirked.
“You survived Ozai and Ursa. Obviously a little tea won’t kill you. Although I
see you’ve discovered coffee. It’s much better than all the bland food we have
here.”
“Kai I swear you read my mind. It’s a little scary.” Kai smiled. Ty Lee
couldn’t help but feel like those two had been meant to be siblings. They were
so much closer than Zuko and Azula had ever been, even as children.
“Azula, I have to be off now. I’ll see you on Sunday.” Ty Lee ran over and
kissed her on the cheek. She winked at Kai and skipped out the door. Azula rose
and looked at Kai.
“Well I suppose we should go. I do miss my sister. But mostly I miss my hair
being washed for me.” Kai laughed.
“I’m sure you could get Ty Lee to do it. She’s followed you around like a puppy
since you two met. You could get her to jump through hoops for you.”
“Ah, but you see I’ve already gotten her to jump through other hoops. Pick your
battles early,” she smiled at her favorite male.
 
~
  “Where is he? Where's the Fire Lord?”Aang demanded. Azula rose from the
throne.
“You mean I'm not good enough for you?” Azula pretended to be hurt, “You're
hurting my feelings.”
“Stop wasting our time and give us the information,” Sokka said, pointing his
sword at Azula, “You're powerless right now, so you're in no position to
refuse.”
“And stick to the truth. I'll be able to tell if you're lying,” Toph said,
clenching her fists. Azula took a few steps towards them, and then stopped.
“Are you sure? I'm a pretty good liar,” she said, pausing,“I am a 400 foot tall
purple platypus bear with pink horns and silver wings.”
“Okay, you're good, I admit it,” Toph trapped Azula with her earthbending, “But
you ought to consider telling the truth anyway!” The earth suddenly broke and
crumpled away and Azula started to dust herself off, reveling in the surprise
of the three goodie two shoes.
“When I left Ba Sing Se I brought home some souvenirs: Dai Li agents!” Two Dai
Li agents descended into the room. Aang sent an air swipe at them with his
glider, however, the agents quickly conjured up an earth wall that blocked the
attack. Aang burst through the stone wall the agents had created and the team
ran toward the Fire Nation princess. A stone column erupted from the surface,
which Aang managed to dodge. Toph bent two stone slabs sending the agents
toward the two sidewalls of the room. The agents each landed on one sidewall
and sent two earth pillars straight at Toph, who conjured two earth walls to
block their attacks. She then proceeded to send a stream of earth at Azula, who
nimbly back-flipped onto the throne after being pushed back by the stream. She
smirked as she landed. She almost wished that her father or Ty Lee had been
there to see her beautiful performance.
Aang raced toward her, an agent followed close behind. He looked up to catch
sight of the agent rocketing along a wall. The agent landed before him and
built up an earth wall which Aang broke through. He sent an air blast at Azula,
who managed to slip away as the blast destroyed the throne. Aang attempted the
knock her down by sending an air swipe, however, Azula avoided his attack,
acutely leaping and flipping between two metal beams. She landed on the ground
deftly and continued running away. She knew she was much too fast for them.
The princess leaped from one metal beam to the other. Aang sent another air
swipe at her only to miss her yet again. Azula slid down a stone pillar created
earlier by a Dai Li agent. She flipped onto one of the stone walls Toph
conjured up to protect herself before and jumped onto the other one before
landing on the ground again. She began running toward a stone wall. A Dai Li
agent slid down a stone column to the floor where he then launched Azula into
the air by bending an earth pillar below her feet. Sokka climbed his way
through the hole in the stone wall. Azula then leapt through the wall, hovering
mere inches over Sokka's face, smiling evilly at him as she passed. She landed
onto the ground and began running again.
Sokka dodged again to avoid a Dai Li agent and Aang and Toph each leapt through
the hole, one after the other. Sokka landed onto the ground and followed the
group.
“I can't pin her down! She's too quick!” Aang cried in anger. Azula raced
through a door, entering a tunnel. A Dai Li agent followed close behind,
earthbending a stone wall to block the entranceway. He proceeded to run after
the princess. Aang burst the wall and chased them. The Dai Li agent was
suddenly pushed over by a stone column that jutted out from the side of
tunnel's wall. A hole appeared and Toph emerged from it. The agent landed into
a crevice of a nearby metal beam and prepared to attack Toph only for the blind
earthbender to destroy his rock gloves and metalbended the grooves of the beam
together, trapping him. She and Aang continued chasing Azula. Sokka quickly ran
up to them.
“Wait! Aang! Toph! Stop attacking! Don't you see what she's doing? She's just
playing with us. She's not even trying to win this fight!” Sokka cried.
“Not true. I'm giving it my all,” Azula said calmly.
“You're trying to keep us here and waste all our time!” Toph cried.
“Um, right, I think your friend just said that, genius. And since you can't
see, I should tell you I'm rolling my eyes,” Azula said sarcastically, rolling
her eyes in disgust.
“I'll roll your whole head!” Toph said angrily.
“She's just baiting you again.”
“Okay, so what do we do, just ignore her?”
“We don't have a choice. We just have to get out of here and find the Fire Lord
on our own somehow.” They started walking away, but unfortunately, Azula knew
exactly what she was doing.
“It's a trap. Don't say I didn't warn you,” she said cooley.
“Ignore!” Sokka called back. Too bad for him Azula was all too crafty.
“So, Sokka's your name, right? My favorite prisoner used to mention you all the
time. She was convinced you were going to come rescue her. Of course you never
came, and she gave up on you.” Sokka shed a few tears and then flew towards
Azula with blind rage. She dropped the dagger from her sleeve to her left hand,
careful not to let the beads to be cut by it. Toph sensed the weapon and pinned
Azula's hand to the tunnel wall by sending a rock aimed at her wrist. Sokka
grabbed her by the shoulder, coming face-to-face with her.
“Where is Suki?” He said, pausing between every word.
“Where's Suki? Answer me!”
“Sokka, she won’t talk.”
“Where are you keeping her?” Azula smugly smiled, keeping her lips closed.
“Oh, sounds like the firebending’s back on.” She kicked her leg in a wide arc,
sending a fire blast that nearly struck Sokka. Sokka took several steps back as
he narrowly avoided Azula's attacks. She then back-flipped onto the tunnel wall
and used firebending to break free from Toph's earth cuffs. She flipped
forward, extending her leg forward, nearly striking Aang, who managed to dodge
the incoming danger. She rose from the ground and smirked.
“Dad's all the way at the end of the hall then down a secret stairway on the
left. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to see you now.” Azula then ran away,
grinning. Until she realized how much her wrist hurt. She hadn’t noticed while
she had been taunting that watertribe boy. It ached, as though the earthbender
had meant to do more than restrain her. She stalked back to her private bunker
room in the volcano, only to see none other than her favorite acrobat.
“Everything went well?”
“Oh yes. I taunted that watertribe boy and had a little fun with the little
blind girl.” Azula twisted her wrist, trying to get rid of the pain.
“Oh no they hurt you!”
“Please Ty Lee it’s just a cramp.” Ty Lee ran towards her and took her wrist
into her
hand. As she touched it, she noticed Azula’s eye twitch.
“It is NOT just a cramp! They really hurt you! I told you that I should have
gone with you! This is all my fault!”
“Don’t be such a silly girl.” Ty Lee looked at it more closely.
“I think it’s just a mild sprain. I’ve had lots of them in the circus. Stay
right here.” Ty Lee
shuffled, looking through her bag. She wrapped Azula’s wrist in a brace
carefully, and the Princess smiled down at her friend.
“You should put some ice on it later.” Ty Lee smiled up at her.
“Sometimes I swear you do too much for me.”
 
~
“Azula! I’m so glad you’re here!” Her sister excitedly embraced her older
sibling. She pulled away looking at her up and down.
“I’m glad I’m here too. This place is much better than Uncle’s place.”
“Of course it is. It’s a palace after all. It’s very different from home, but
then again you
already know. You were here, after all, and I always forget.”  They sat in one
of the many drawing rooms, probably the one that Maddie had invaded. She had
always been into those girly things that her mother had taught her, something
Azula didn’t really understand. She could never take up embroidery or drawing,
not when she could be fighting or playing with her cousin. Or pushing her
friends around, something she had always enjoyed.
“So what do you want to do first Azula? Do you want to practice bending or do
you want to spend the rest of today spa-ing with me?”
“We have time for everything, no need to rush. But I haven’t been able to
really bend in awhile and I would really love to do that.”
 
Azula stood outside in the courtyard as Kai and Maddie watched her. Her arms
went in a circular motion, but she couldn’t summon any lightning. She glared,
incredibly angry with herself. She had to be perfect and she was about to
through a mental temper tantrum. Maddie came up to her and touched her shoulder
lightly.
“Maybe you should try something just a little easier. You could show me how you
can easily switch from blue to orange fire again. I know you just have to warm
up.” Azula looked down at her little sister. She didn’t like the possibility
that she might be right, or worse. She didn’t want to lose her lightning. It
was one of the most important things she had ever had. Her sister backed away
as Azula spun around, shooting blue flames from her feet and orange from her
hands. She switched them off and on as she moved around the courtyard. She then
took her stance and aimed into the air. The lightning came out as normal and
she smiled.
“Perfect. Not a hair out of place Azula. You really are amazing.”
“Did you ever learn Maddie?”
“Papa was going to teach me, but he didn’t have time to get to it.” Maddie
looked at the ground sadly. She had been closer to her father than she liked to
admit, despite all of his evil ways and shortcomings.
“Well then get over here. We’re going to do it right now.”
“Really Azula?” Maddie jumped up and down excitedly, running towards her
sister. She stood at attention, ready for any instructions from her sister.
“Now, as you’ve seen me do a million times, lightning requires a circular arm
motion. Mentally, it requires absence of emotion and peace of mind which is why
Zuzu couldn’t ever do it. Now physically you have to separate yin and yang in
the air. I know you’ll be able to do it. Now let me see you try. You’ve seen me
do it enough times.” Maddie took her stance, and mimicked her sister. Suddenly,
the lightning flew from her fingertips, and when it was gone she jumped with
joy.
“I knew you were a prodigy. You did it on your first try, just like me. I
always knew you were more like me than you were like Zuko. I’m proud. Father
would be proud too.” Maddie smiled, never feeling more accomplished in her
whole life. She always fought for her sister’s approval, and to a lesser extent
her father’s. But that was only because Azula believed his words were so
important. She had always idolized her sister, ever since they were children.
Later, both girls sat together. Maddie couldn’t think of anything she would
rather do than spend time with her sister. She loved her more than anyone in
the world, even more than she did Kai. It was a different kind of love, but it
was still somehow stronger. She would never abandon Azula, or give up hope for
her to become a less power crazed version of herself.
“So what should we do first? Should we go have our hair washed, or get a
pedicure? Or a manicure or facial? Or we could go take a hot bath, or we could
go eat some Fire Nation food.”
“I think we should start with our hair, get in a bath, then do the rest you
just mentioned. I see no reason for us not to get our royal whims pleased.”
“Sounds perfect to me! Kai’s mom wants to see you a little later, so we’ll save
dinner for last. Miss Yuldez, could you please make sure the bath is ready
after we get our hair washed? Thank you.” The servant bowed and scurried away
as Maddie and Azula sat down, both girls untying their hair.
“I will never understand why you always say thank you to all the servants.”
“It’s just common courtesy. I’ve always done it. And you always say that,”
Maddie laughed as they started wetting her hair. Azula relaxed as they started
gently rubbing her scalp, while the other combed her hair under the water. The
royal spa had always been the favorite place of the older Princess, and it was
one of the places that she and her sister spent their time bonding. She was
surprised that the Earth Kingdom palace had one as well, but she was relieved.
She couldn’t wait for her nails to grow out more, because she loved manicures,
one of her secret pleasures.
“So how’s everything with you and Ty Lee? Are you trying to kill each other
yet?”
“We’re doing better than I expected. So I haven’t pulled her hair out yet.
Although there may have been some biting and clawing.”
“Well she’s lucky you don’t have your nails back quite yet,” her sister
laughed, not taking what she said seriously. She had no idea what was
transpiring between the two childhood friends, and she was too naive to get her
sister’s insinuation.
“Palace life is treating you well I see.”
“Well, the food is so bland that Kai had to find a Fire Nation chef, because
even he couldn’t stand it after awhile. I mean he did live with us all his
life, and even his mother after fourteen years of living with us, couldn’t take
the boringness of the food. And you need not worry. There will be no smoked sea
slug. I specifically requested all of your favorites, although Komodo sausage
is much harder to find here. I had to make sure it was imported. I even
imported your favorite dessert, superspicey soufle.”
“You wouldn’t happen to have any fire gummies would you?”
***** Chapter 10 *****
“Azula, look at you! You are much too thin! You better eat everything they put
on that plate and more! I can’t believe how under fed you are! Is your uncle
feeding you well enough?”
“He’s been feeding me fine, it’s only been two weeks since I got out of prison.
And one of those weeks was traveling here after all.” Azula smiled at her true
mother, the one woman who was there for her no matter what.
“You’re practically bones! I heard you can still do lightning, though I’m not
sure how. I still can’t believe how they treated you,” Juniper sighed crossing
her arms in front of her chest. She looked at her daughters from the other end
of the table, but was surprised that Azula looked as well as she did. She had
heard about how she had suffered, before Zuko and Mai had been caught. Before
she had left she had tried to suggest some lighter drug for Azula. She had
known Azula wasn’t really crazy, she had merely had a mental breakdown. She had
been forced to grow up so fast, and she felt abandoned by everyone. It was
bound to happen sooner or later, but unfortunately it had happened at the worst
possible moment.
“Well I’m sure I’ll get revenge someday.” Azula looked hungrily as she saw all
the food on her plate. They were in a small, private room, but even then she
still felt like she had to eat in a ladylike manner. Her sister and Kai didn’t
seem to worry themselves too much about it as they dove into the food in front
of them.
“Azula, dear. You don’t have to eat all ladylike on our account. There isn’t
anyone else here. It’s like when we used to do this back home.” Azula’s eyes
widened a little, and then she started into her food. She had missed food that
actually had some kind of taste, and she had never felt more hungry in her
whole life. She hadn’t had real food in two years, and she hadn’t realized how
much she had missed it.
“Now I insist you have seconds honey. I’m going to fatten you back up if I have
to keep your mouth full of food every weekend.” Azula smiled up, still feeling
a little shy. It wasn’t like her. They used to have family dinners all the time
back in the Fire Nation. They had many without her father overlooking
everything they did, and those had always been her favorite. But, her health
had never been the center of any conversation. Azula was never sick, never
missed a day of exercise, and was always the perfect weight for her height. But
now her bones stuck out in places they shouldn’t, and she felt more frail than
normal. Conjuring lightning had taken more of her energy than she would have
like to admit.
“Now, why isn’t Miss Ty Lee here? She normally follows you around like a puppy,
and I have missed her over the past two years.”
“She rejoined the circus Mum,” Kai answered around a bite of his roast duck.
“She has shows on the weekends. She rehearses all week, but she has shows all
day tomorrow and Sunday until the evening,” Azula answered.
“Oh well good for her. She always did love the circus. It’s sad that we won’t
be able to see her for quite awhile. I do miss her. She’s such an interesting,
bubbly young girl.”
“Well she’s in Uncle’s tea shop everyday at four if you ever have time to stop
by.”
“I’ve been meaning to pay him a visit. I might do just that. Now Azula, you
should eat some more. You really do have me worried.”
“Mum, stop trying to talk to her AND stuff food down her throat.”
“Well I’ve just missed her!” Azula smiled and took a bigger bite. She had
missed all of this. The happy family part of her life. She hadn’t had that with
her blood family since they were very small, and they went to Ember Island
every year, which sometimes she dreaded because of the horrible Ember Island
players. Juniper had never seemed this worried about her before though.
“I also see you went to the palace spa. Please feel free to use it, we barely
do and we pay all of those people. You’ll like it more when your nails grow
back. Our manicurists are wonderful I promise you.”
“They’re starting to grow back out. They at least were able to make them better
looking.”
“I’m glad your hair has grown back too. You always had the most beautiful
hair.”
 
~
Ty Lee didn’t want to see Azula in the prison. But she knew she couldn’t just
leave Azula without saying goodbye. She knew Azula wasn’t going to forgive her
yet, so she was going to give her some space and then come back in a couple of
months. She walked through the halls, following the guards. She didn’t
understand why she was being taken to such a secluded section of the building.
Azula was kept away from the other mental patients and was put with the high
security prisoners. As she walked she saw a golden pair of eyes staring at her
with anger. She shuddered as she passed Ozai without a word. She wasn’t here
for him, and she never would be.
She remembered that Maddie had said that Zuko wouldn’t let her visit Azula or
Ozai just yet. It had been a few months since the war was over, and she had
been begging. The only reason they had allowed Ty Lee was because she was
planning on leaving in a few days. As they approached the last cell at the end
of the hall, she couldn’t believe how nervous she felt. She knew Azula was
going to be mad at her no matter what she did. But she had to say goodbye for
now.
Ty Lee could never had imagined what was before her eyes. The room was
freezing, and she realized it was designed to be exactly like one of the
coolers in the Boiling Rock. But they had clearly been overly determined to
keep Azula from firebending. Azula’s arms were chained to the wall, and her
feet were chained to the floor. Her prison uniform looked thin, and Ty Lee
could see Azula shivering in the dark cell. Her hair covered her face, but her
hands were covered in goosebumps. Ty Lee slowly walked over to Azula, carefully
pushing the hair out of her face. Azula’s eyes looked dazed as she looked
forward blankly. She didn’t seem to recognize that someone was there. Ty Lee
then saw the muzzle over her face. The metal covered her nose and mouth. If she
had attempted to firebend, she would have melted it to her face. If she had
been able to firebend.
Ty Lee walked over to the guard, “Sir, could you please turn up the heat? It’s
far too cold in there for me.”
“Of course, but only while you’re in there Miss.” Ty Lee shut the door behind
her as the room started to heat a bit. She quickly tore the muzzle off of
Azula. She pulled a pin out of her hair and jammed it into her shackles,
releasing her from all of them. She took Azula into her arms trying to warm her
up. Azula’s foggy gaze didn’t clear up anymore than it was before.
“How could they do this to you?” Ty Lee started crying, “How could they treat
you worse than Ozai? At least he can walk around and isn’t freezing to death.
How could they do this to you?” She buried her face into Azula’s hair. Her
beautiful Azula was treated like the most dangerous person in the world, not
family. Ty Lee thought she smelled smoke, but that couldn’t be right. She
looked up and smoke was coming out of Azula’s nose, as she was warming herself
up. Most firebenders couldn’t bend for a whole week after even a day in a
cooler. But Azula had been this way for months and within a few minutes of
being free, she was firebending. Ty Lee finally understood. They were terrified
of her. She was the only real threat they had. Azula smirked into the
nothingness she was looking at. She was the most powerful firebender in the
world, and Ty Lee had never noticed.
 
“What the fuck is this Zuko?” Ty Lee threw the muzzle at his feet. She watched
as Maddie and Kai looked at it in confusion. She knew neither of them had
anything to do with the horrible practice. Mai and Zuko looked at one another,
trying to figure a way out of what they had gotten themselves into.
“Are you so fucking afraid of her that you put a muzzle on her? That you put
her in a cooler? That you chained her to the wall? That you doped her up on
drugs? You both make me sick you know that! She doesn’t deserve to be treated
like this!”
“Ty Lee she is the greatest threat to the Fire Nation. All of the colonies have
pledged their allegiance to her, even though she’s in prison,” Zuko said.
“And I’m sure if she escaped she would take you down in a minute. I warmed up
the room a little and she could instantly firebend. You are both cowards.”
“Zuko, did you really do this?” Maddie had tears streaming down her face. She
had picked up the mask, seeing exactly how painful it would be on.
“It is what has to be done,” Zuko looked away, ashamed.
“Well you’re not going to do it anymore Zuko!” Maddie yelled.
“Maddie you aren’t in charge!”
“I don’t care if I have to break her out and become a traitor! I don’t care if
you banish me on the spot! She is our sister and I won’t let you do this! She
is a human being! You don’t even treat Papa like that!” Kai placed his hand
gently on her shoulder.
“Look Zuko. I don’t usually pull this bullshit, but my grandfather is the Earth
King. I will make sure you pay one way or another. You will treat her like a
normal prisoner, and you will allow her to have visitors. Do I make myself
clear?”
“You can’t talk to the Fire Lord that way!” Mai’s eyes were full of anger.
“I just did. Get over it. She’s a human being!”
“Fine Kai. I don’t need you threatening me. Maddie, you’ll have to visit her
everyday.”
“With pleasure.” Ty Lee started to walk out of the room, the two younger
children behind her.
“Ty Lee I’m sorry,” Zuko said.
“No you’re not.”
 
~
“Now don’t be afraid to send us a hawk if you need anything dear. I mean it.”
“Thank you Mom.” Azula embraced Juniper, and then her sister. They had all
walked her back to her Uncle’s house. She was sad to go, although she wouldn’t
admit it. Juniper looked at Iroh and smiled.
“You better make sure she’s eating Iroh or I will beat you.”
“Don’t worry I’m cooking dinner now. Ty Lee should be home any moment.”
“Perfect. Make sure she has two helpings. She is far too skinny.”
“Alright Mum that’s enough. She’s heard enough about her weight for one
weekend. That stuff makes girls feel self-conscious as it is.”
 
Ty Lee walked into the house a little later than normal. Dinner was being laid
out, and Azula had somehow managed to fall asleep while sitting up. Ty Lee
giggled and then shook her friend a little.
“Azula it’s time for dinner sleepy head.” Azula’s eyes shot open, although she
felt groggy. They had fed her so much that she was tired. She had tried to work
some of it off by firebending, but she still felt incredibly full. Her uncle
had made an incredibly large dinner, which Ty Lee was grateful for, but Azula’s
stomach was not quite settled.
“Now Azula, I’m sure Juniper has made it clear that you need to eat more. Just
eat what you can, I am certain she has filled you with food. Ty Lee eat as much
as you want!” The young acrobat was always eating, and she loaded her plate
high. Azula took a meager handful of things, afraid she might throw it up. Iroh
took the same approach as Ty Lee, and Azula wondered how much fatter he could
get.
“So what did you do this weekend Zula?” Ty Lee continued stuffing her face full
of food as she looked at Azula.
“Just the same usual Princess things. I practiced some lightning and other
firebending, ate lots of food, went to the royal spa with Maddie. The normal
things I did.”
“You can actually summon lightning?”
“Surprised? I’m not an old man like you.”
“I wished I could have seen it Zula!”
 
~
  “Look Ty Lee I can bend blue fire now!” The ten year old girl beamed at her
best friend. Ty Lee looked at Azula with such wonder. She had always wished
that she could have been able to firebend. It would have given them another
thing in common. Azula looked so confident and happy with her newest
accomplishment. She longed to show Ty Lee, but wouldn’t stoop to asking if she
longed to see it. She waited patiently to see if Ty Lee would ask, and Ty Lee
never failed her.
“Show me Azula! I really want to see it! I didn’t think anyone could do that,
not even your father! You must be the best firebender in the world.” Azula
stood a good distance away from Ty Lee, and started to twirl around. Her flames
were so beautiful, the most beautiful thing Ty Lee had ever seen. Sometimes she
thought she saw a few other colors within them and she couldn’t help but watch
her. A tiny bit of ash fell from one of the nearby plants and stung her skin.
“Ouch!” She tried to say quietly. Azula stopped and then walked over to her.
“Don’t worry Zula you didn’t burn me. It’s just a little burn from one of the
ashes. See I’m just fine!” Azula looked the other girl’s hand. One tiny spot
was only mildly red, but she had never burned anyone before. She wasn’t sure
that she liked it. She slowly brought the hand to her mouth, planting a light
kiss upon it. Ty Lee blushed, and then grinned. Azula held her hand in both of
her own smiled at her friend. She knew she would make an extra effort to never
accidentally burn Ty Lee ever again, even if her life depended on it. She swore
it silently, and noticed the shaped the ash had made. It was a small, tiny leaf
shape and it remained on her left hand as a tiny reminder of the constant
control Azula always had to keep, for the rest of her life.
***** Chapter 11 *****
Chapter Summary
     Sex warning
Azula paced back and forth as she started to address the Dai Lee. She had
always been an amazing orator, and she was never nervous.
“The Earth King and the Council of Five do not trust the Dai Li. They
imprisoned your leader, Long Feng. Soon they will turn on all of you and
eliminate you. Seizing power today is a matter of life and death,” she
approached an agent that started looking nervous, “This coup must be swift and
decisive. The Earth King and each of the five generals must be taken out
simultaneously. Long Feng has placed you in my command while we overthrow the
government.” Azula stared at the nervous agent and walked up to him, while
still talking to the other agents.
“If I sense any disloyalty, any hesitation, any weakness at all,” she stopped
right in front of the nervous agent, “I will snuff it out.,” she continued
walking, “That is all.” The Dai Lee left and Azula walked towards Ty Lee who
was pouring some tea.
“Nice speech, Azula. It was pretty and poetic, but also scary in a good way,”
Ty Lee said as she handed the cup to Azula. Azula couldn’t help but smile, Ty
Lee always knew how to suck up. Azula appreciated her always complimenting her,
but she couldn’t help but be worried about this coup.
“Yeah. I thought you were going to make that one guy pee his pants,” Mai said,
amused. She was almost never amused, and Azula almost had to double take.
“There are still a few loose ends. The Avatar, and my brother and uncle.”
 
“Yeah, what are you in time for, cutie?” Ty Lee cartwheeled towards Sokka.
Azula knew she had to hide until the right moment, but hearing the words come
out of that girl’s mouth made her incredibly angry.
“Uh, I’m kinda involved with Suki.”
“Who?” Azula could have dragged that girl by her braid and dropped her off of
the tallest building nearby. And Ty Lee would probably sputter her protests the
whole way there.
“They're not the real Kyoshi Warriors!”
“Sorry to disappoint you.” She shot some of her daggers at Toph, who used an
earth shield to stop them, then kicked the shield to Mai, who jumped over it.
Toph brought up another pillar, knocking her. Ty Lee came up to Sokka,
laughing. She started trying to jab him, but he evaded all of them.
“Oooh, it's like we're dancing together!” Azula ran for her opportunity, and
held a knife to the Earth King’s neck.
“This fight is over.” Toph and Sokka surrendered, and Ty Lee chi blocked them.
Momo tried flying away, but a Dai Li agent trapped him with a rock glove. Azula
then shoved Kuei down.
“Get them all out of my sight.” Toph, Sokka, Kuei, and Bosco were all taken to
prison. Long Feng then walked into the room with some Dai Li agents behind him.
“Now comes the part where I double cross you. Dai Li, arrest the Fire Nation
princess!” None of the Dai Li agents moved, to Long Feng's disappointment, “I
said arrest her! What is wrong with you?!”
“It's because they haven't made up their minds. They're waiting to see how this
is going to end.” Azula felt so smug.
“What are you talking about?”
“I can see your whole history in your eyes. You were born with nothing, so
you've had to struggle, and connive, and claw your way to power. But true
power, the divine right to rule, is something you're born with. The fact is,
they don't know which one of us is going to be sitting on that throne, and
which one is going to be bowing down,” Long Feng looks worried, “But I know,
and you know,” She sat down on the throne and crosses her legs, “Well?”  Long
Feng walked up and bowed to her.
“You've beaten me at my own game.”
“Don't flatter yourself! You were never even a player.”
 
Azula’s mood didn’t improve. She still felt incredibly cold when she talked to
Zuko. She normally felt a feeling of satisfaction when she manipulated people,
but all she could think about was Ty Lee and that watertribe boy kissing,
touching each other, sleeping together, what their babies would look like. She
knew she shouldn’t get so obsessed. The sadist in her told her to find the boy
and torture him until he died a slow painful death, and make Ty Lee watch the
whole thing. And then she could force her to have sex with her near his corpse.
She didn’t like how upset silly, insignificant Ty Lee could make her feel.
Azula sat by the vanity in the Earth King’s chambers, slowly taking down her
hair. She slowly peeled away her makeup. If only I’d been a man. If only I
could do what I want with Ty Lee in public. No man could ever oppose her, and
she could force Ty Lee to marry her and her father could not say anything about
it. She heard a knock at the door, but she didn’t feel like bothering. The
knock persisted, and she continued to ignore it. The door slid open, and it was
Ty Lee in her Kyoshi warrior uniform. She slid the door closed.
“I didn’t say you could come in.” Ty Lee bounded over anyways.
“I just wanted to see how you are. You took down Ba Sing Se and killed the
Avatar! You must be really happy.” Ty Lee sat next to her friend. Azula should
be very happy, but she wasn’t. She wouldn’t be happy until Ty Lee promised to
stay with her forever. Not rejoin the circus, not go have babies with some man.
Be hers forever. She could still feel the jealousy in the pit of her chest. She
felt like she was a ticking time bomb, ready to explode if Ty Lee said the
wrong thing.
“I am happy. I’m overjoyed.” Azula kept her sarcastic demeanor. She looked at
Ty Lee in the mirror. She tried not to show her emotions.
“Did you see that watertribe boy today? He was looking good as usual.”
“Get out Ty Lee.”
“Did I make you jealous? I know you heard me Zula. Did it work?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t get jealous.”
“Yes you do.”
“No I don’t.”
“Well then, I suppose you won’t mind if I go out and have sex with him, or his
Kyoshi warrior friend then would you?” The image flashed through Azula’s head
and her brow came together in anger. The candles in the room started to burn
with more ferocity.
“Do whatever you want Ty Lee.”
“Fine I will!” Ty Lee started to leave but Azula blocked her way.
“You’re mine Ty Lee. Why the fuck do you do things to make me pissed off?” The
Princess rarely ever swore. Ty Lee had gotten the result she had wanted.
“Because it makes me sure that you don’t want to lose me.”
“Don’t be an idiot. You’ll stay with me until I tell you otherwise.”
 
~
Azula had that dream, but then it started to become twisted. Ty Lee was
laughing at her, having sex with every man in sight. Azula was screaming at
her, screaming at her betrayal. She knew Ty Lee would betray her again someday.
She had no doubt. She woke up with a start, and sat up. Ty Lee woke more slowly
looking at Azula’s angered face.
“Azula are you okay? What did you dream about?” Azula looked at her with hawk-
like eyes. She eyed her prey as she swooped on top of her. She pinned Ty Lee
down, looking at her angrily. She couldn’t separate reality from her dreams,
and she wondered if Ty Lee had actually done all the things she had seen. Ty
Lee smirked up at her. She loved being dominated, and she was a masochist. She
also felt very awake in the morning. She had only slept in Azula’s room to ward
off any nightmares, but it was turning into something advantageous for her.
Azula reached to the side table and grabbed one of Ty Lee’s hair ribbons, tying
her wrists to the bedpost. Then suddenly Ty Lee thought of a game that she
hadn’t ever thought she would get a chance to do.
“Are you going to punish me Princess?” Azula looked down at her with a confused
look, but then had a devilish smirk.
“As a matter of fact I am. This is going to be a harsh punishment for you being
a whore.” Ty Lee raised her brow, not sure if that had been what Azula’s dream
had been about or not. Azula rarely dreamed about her. And she even more rarely
shared them. Her lips were on Ty Lee’s in an instant, her hands feeling up and
down Ty Lee’s curves. Ty Lee pressed herself upwards and Azula sharply groaned.
Her nails were digging into Ty Lee, and she started biting her neck in a
painful way. Ty Lee started to roll her hips into Azula’s, as though she were
dancing. Azula started tearing at Ty Lee’s clothes, her nails digging into her.
Her fingers were in Ty Lee in an instant and Ty Lee started moaning. Her eyes
rolled back as Azula started to nip at her nipple, being rough. Azula was still
blinded by her jealousy, but loved the way her lover moaned under her. She
pumped in and out of Ty Lee furiously, and Ty Lee was in ecstasy. Ty Lee was
getting so incredibly close when Azula stopped. She looked up at her with
pleading eyes.
“Say it.”
“Say what.”
“Say my name.” Azula’s eyes, for an instant betrayed her inner thoughts. She
wanted to make sure Ty Lee was thinking about her, and only her.
“Please Azula! I need you!” Azula untied Ty Lee and then flipped her over onto
her back. She thrusted her fingers back inside her, pumping in and out of her.
She didn’t know why, but she had the animalistic urge to smack Ty Lee. She was
in complete control. Leaning over her she pulled Ty Lee’s braid so that her
head was closer to her own.
“Do you like when I’m rough?”
“I love when you’re rough!” Ty Lee moaned. Azula dropped Ty Lee’s braid and
slapped as hard as she could. She had never felt a nicer piece of skin in her
life. She held it as she continued to thrust into Ty Lee. Ty Lee finally
convulsed, and Azula pulled out of her. She got up and started to get dressed.
“Can we talk about it later?” Ty Lee whispered. Azula looked at her with a
grin.
“Only if you’re good.”
 
~
Ty Lee stormed around her room that she shared with a few of her sisters. They
had all gone out for the night, but she was pacing around the room. Fire Lord
Ozai had rejected more prospective husbands for Azula, but Ty Lee knew it was
only a matter of time. Why didn’t she just tell him? Why didn’t she just admit
to everyone that they were together? Well, it wasn’t exactly official. She had
to watch everyday as boys at the academy next door tried to win over her
Princess. Her Azula. She was the only one who understood Azula. She was the
only one there for her no matter what.
Hadn’t she sat there with her while she cried over her mother leaving? Hadn’t
she been there for her when her cousin had died and she couldn’t admit to
anyone else that she actually cared? Hadn’t she listened to Azula cry, saying
that if she had never been so vile, had never said that about her Uncle and Lu
Ten, that her cousin would still be alive? That her grandfather would still be
alive, and her mother would still be there with her? Hadn’t she held her while
she whispered that now that her father had become Fire Lord, he never had time
for her? She had been there when Zuko had been banished. At first the young
Princess had been excited. But then she had become lonely, and sad. Hadn’t Ty
Lee done all of those things?
Didn’t Ty Lee stay for her? Didn’t she stay with a family she hated, in a place
she hated, for her? She had stayed in the academy so that she wouldn’t feel so
alone. She had stayed with all of her identical sisters to please Azula. She
dealt with all the bullies who found her when she was alone, who called her a
woman lover. She dealt with all the bullies who were there when Azula was
there. She watched Azula fight them all. She watched Azula get into trouble,
and just as quickly get out of it. She dealt with Azula manipulating her.
And for what? To be hidden like she didn’t even matter? To be teased by others
and ignored by her? She was not acknowledged in public as her friends love
interest. She had to sit and watch as they tried to find someone worthy of
Azula’s genes. But she thought that she should be allowed to make a decision
for love. But they weren’t going to listen to her, the seventh daughter of a
nobleman. She could just be thrown away. She didn’t even think she would be
missed by the Princess herself. She didn’t run away, she didn’t try something
else, just because she loved Azula. She was going to watch the girl she loved
be married to another. She would be the secret lover. She would be the other
woman. But she should be the only woman. That man would be taking what was
hers. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to convince Azula not to marry. She
would have to produce an heir if she were to become Fire Lord. And that was the
only thing Ty Lee couldn’t give her.
“Ty Lee help me up. I’m not tall enough for this.” Ty Lee looked over at her
window to see Azula trying to get in. She helped lift the Princess in, who
proceeded to brush herself off.
“I told you I wanted to see you today.” The thirteen year old did not look even
slightly amused with her. Ty Lee looked away. She didn’t want to sit through
Ozai looking at prospects again. She just couldn’t handle it.
“I know. I just....just.”
“Just what Ty Lee?” Ty Lee looked into her eyes and tried not to cry. She saw
her Azula’s eyebrows creep together in concern, her eyes become alight with
worry.
“I just couldn’t sit through him trying to give you to someone else.” Azula
took Ty Lee’s chin in her fingertips, making her look at her.
“I don’t want anyone else. I won’t ever give in. I’ll always find something
wrong with them all. And that’s because they won’t ever be you.” Ty Lee started
to cry and Azula took her into her arms.
“I-i just want to be somewhere we can be free,” she whispered.
“Maybe someday we can be.” Azula stroked her hair.
“You’re mine. No matter who you marry I don’t care if I have to poison them.”
“Not if I poison them first.” Ty Lee hiccupped as she giggled.
“Never give up without a fight. Right Azula?”
“That’s right Ty Lee. We’re never going to give up. Not until we’re together
and I’m Fire Lord. Then we can rule the world together.”
“Can I still wear pink?”
“Of course you can still wear pink silly.”
***** Chapter 12 *****
Ty Lee wasn’t one to hate. Not normally. She just resented. She resented a lot
of people. She mostly resented her parents and her sisters. She felt as though
she always had to act out in order to get attention. The only thing that made
her parents vaguely remembered her was that every week she was invited to spend
the afternoon with the Princess Azula, Prince Zuko and Mai. They told her how
proud of her they were that she had become friends with royalty. She mostly
liked Azula because she had no problem remembering her name. But Azula had
never been near her with her sisters. No one knew who she was around them, not
even Mai.
Ty Lee sat with her sisters outside of the Royal Fire Academy for Girls. She
looked down at the uniform with disdain as she waited for the classes to start.
She knew that her only friend other than Mai wouldn’t be able to tell her apart
either. They were all identical, which vexed her more than anything. She knew
she would never have a real friend. Ty Lee, part of a matched set. Look at all
of the sisters that look the same! Aren’t they adorable? Ty Lee kept her eyes
glued to the ground. She just wanted to go home and it was only her first day.
“Ty Lee what are you doing? Get over here now.” Ty Lee looked over to Azula but
didn’t go forward. She didn’t want to be just the one she called for. Anyone of
her sisters would do. It didn’t have to be her.
“Ty Lee I’m talking to you!” Azula pushed Ty Lee down to the ground. She
blinked up at her a few times. She.... she knew?
“Why are you such an airhead Ty Lee? I was talking to you. Don’t ignore me.” Ty
Lee jumped up and hugged Azula in front of everyone. Azula tried her best not
to hug back. The seven year old was very confused. She had rarely been hugged
before, but she kind of liked it. It wasn’t like when her sister hugged her.
“What was that for?” Ty Lee grinned at her, and grabbed her hand.
“You knew which one I was.”
“Of course dum-dum. You don’t look that much like the others.”
 
~
Ty Lee woke up with a smile on her face. She rarely dreamt of her childhood.
She thought about that day at the academy all the time, but she didn’t dream
all that often. She saw Azula sleeping peacefully next to her. Her hair
cascaded down her back and fanned out on her pillow. Azula always slept on her
back, and Ty Lee figured it was so no one could sneak up on her. She pulled the
blanket over to Azula. Ty Lee normally won the blanket fight they had in the
middle of the night. She tiptoed out of the room to do what she always did,
make Azula her cup of coffee. And she always had to scamper off to the restroom
in the morning.
“You are so dedicated. I have never seen anyone want to make my neice as happy
as you do everyday just by getting up to make her some coffee,” Iroh said.
“Well I get to do something I really love all day and she has to do something
she hates. It’s the least I can do.”
“Ty Lee you don’t owe her anything.”
“Yes. Yes I do owe her. But it’s more than that. Whenever I hand her that cup
she gives the tiniest glimpse that she’s happy and that she appreciates it. And
that’s all I need to get through the day!” Ty Lee stirred the sugar into the
cup faithfully. She walked back to the room and saw Azula sitting up, on time
as usual.
“Good morning Azula!” She handed her the cup and got the same flicker of
happiness she longed for every morning. Ty Lee started to walk out of the room.
“Ty Lee?”
“Yes Azula?”
“We can talk about what happened the other day tonight. If you want.” Azula
looked down into her cup like normal with a small smile on her face.
“Sure Azula! We can after dinner if you want!” She nodded as Ty Lee walked out
of the room happily. She skipped into her room to change into her pink outfit,
and once again she feared being late. She hated the long train ride. She hated
that she had to walk home sometimes because she missed the last one every now
and then. She braided her hair quickly, and then hurriedly pushed her shoes on.
On her way out she stuffed a bun in her mouth, waving goodbye to Azula as she
sat by the table and then skipped out the door to make the train.
She didn’t mind all the rushing around. She hated to admit it, but she missed
chasing the Avatar with Azula and Mai. At least back then it had been
interesting. She would take turns in the tank train as they were traveling,
spending one night in Azula’s room and another in Mai’s. She shared with Mai
anyways, but she liked her Azula time. She had almost forgotten how much she
missed it while she was in the circus. She thought about Azula everyday of
course, but only when the lights went out. Sometimes the noises of the animals
were comforting. Sometimes she heard Azula’s voice in her head telling them all
to keep it down or she would do unspeakable things to them. She had mostly
missed Azula with the Kyoshi warriors but she had also missed all of the
adventures. All of the excitement. And Suki had been wonderful, but she just
wasn’t right. She just wasn’t Azula.
As Ty Lee stretched outside of the tent she couldn’t help but remembering Azula
approach her, asking her to join her search. She had secretly wanted to just
say yes. But she never gave up anything without a fight. She knew Azula always
got what she wanted. She wasn’t that foolish. But she liked being a tease. She
loved getting attention, especially from the Fire Nation Princess. That’s why
she had said she was so happy in the circus. She had been happy in the circus,
but not perfectly happy. Her aura had been pink, but it was a grayed shade of
pink. It was only at its brightest whenever Azula was around. She didn’t have
as much adventure as she wanted, but the circus and Azula made her almost
completely content. If Azula could be perfectly happy, then she would finally
be perfectly happy herself.
Ty Lee practiced a routine day after day. But it gave her far too much time for
thinking. She had wondered if Azula would have lost her control if she had just
stayed. She wondered why Azula had been so angry the last time she had touched
her. She wondered if Azula really ever cared about her or if she was just
manipulating her like everyone else. She wondered if Azula had really liked
Chan, but she had just been the next best thing. If she had just been something
to be conquered, and now that she had been, she would get rid of her. But Ty
Lee always liked to think positively. If nothing else, Azula never threw things
away. Unless she thought they were completely useless, but even then she would
still use them to her advantage. But she wasn’t in the same position she had
been. She didn’t have to worry about the constant pressures of someday being
Fire Lord. And being the first female one at that.
Ty Lee didn’t know why she only thought about Azula. Sometimes she wondered how
Mai and Zuko were doing, or how the Kyoshi warriors were faring. But most of
the time she worried about Azula. She wondered if she’d ever get “better”. Ty
Lee didn’t think there was anything wrong with her. Not really. She had just
had to be strong for fourteen years too long. She had been pressured too much,
carried too much burden. And she had been taught that fear was the only way to
keep people, when love was really the ultimate way. And Ty Lee was going to
show Azula just that.
After practicing with the animals, and other performers all day, Ty Lee caught
the train home. She sat next to people who all looked at her. She knew she
should be use to it. Many people thought she was beautiful. She had often been
told she could have anyone she really wanted. Many men had tried over the
years. But she had only ever had eyes for Azula. She knew she was beautiful and
could have many attractive people surrounding her. But no one was more
beautiful than the Princess. Not to her. Especially when she took her hair down
and when she smiled. When she laughed or when she raised her eyebrow whenever
she was intrigued. No one could even hold a candle to her.
Ty Lee stepped out of the train and started walking. It was a short walk but
she felt tired. She knew she would have to pretend to be her normal perky self
when she got home. She didn’t want Azula to worry. She was incredibly tired
from many nights where she was startled into waking. Sometimes it was
screaming, but most of the time since the drugs had been weaned it was crying.
Light, soft crying. And she would hold her until she stopped. But it was
wearing on her. Not only did she worry about her at night, but she thought
about her all day. Her mind was slowly being drained. But Azula needed her and
she wasn’t going to leave a second time. Well, third time.
She walked into the tea shop like normal at four. She waited a couple minutes
and Azula sat down with her, like normal. Iroh brought them both tea and Ty Lee
thanked him. Like she always did. Whenever Ty Lee saw Azula smile at her she
knew everything was worth it. All the long nights, all of the pain that had
been. All of the pain that was still there. She knew that there was no where
else she would rather be. But throughout her life, it had always been the only
place she wanted to be.
 
~
Ty Lee waited under the tree like normal. Azula and Mai always took a long time
getting food, because Azula always had some specially made. And this year was
her little sister’s first year at the academy, so she followed around Azula
like a lost puppy. She sat patiently, because Azula always made her sit there,
just in case someone tried to take their spot in the shade. They didn’t ever
try because they were all so afraid of the older Princess. But Ty Lee did as
she was told, just like she always did.
“Hey, where’s your little girlfriend?” A few girls were standing over her. The
instigator was the daughter of the Fire Lord’s head general. Ty Lee had noticed
that she thought she could do whatever she wanted because of that reason. She
never bothered Ty Lee when Azula was around. But as soon as the Princess wasn’t
around all she did was bully Ty Lee. Ty Lee secretly thought about how she was
actually in a higher position, being the daughter of a nobleman and the best
friend of the Princess. But she always kept it to herself.
“Hey I’m talking to you!”
“I don’t have a girlfriend,” Ty Lee said calmly.
“Yeah you do. We’ve all seen you holding hands. You know what this country does
to women lovers like you two right?”
“What do they do? Do tell us won’t you?” Azula’s voice was annoyed. The nine
year old stepped closer to Ty Lee, with her little sister clutching onto her
uniform. Mai didn’t look amused. She almost looked angry, which was a rare
occurrence. The few girls behind the leader backed away slightly.
“Well they put you in the boiling rock for life of course. And it would be a
shame if the Princess of the Fire Nation was left to rot in a cell for
something like that.”
“You assume because we hold hands that we kiss. I hold my sister’s hand and we
don’t. You hold your mothers hand. That would make you a woman lover too. So
get lost before I lose my temper.” Most of the girls ran and the leader
hesitantly backed away. When they were gone Azula sat and handed Ty Lee her
food.
“You shouldn’t let them bother you like that. If they do it again I might have
to give them a firebending demonstration.”
“Yeah just tell me or Azula. Those girls are the worst kind of girls,” Mai said
before biting into her food. Ty Lee smiled a little.
“Well I can’t really argue with them. I don’t really have anything that I could
think of. I like holding your hand Azula. And if that makes me a woman lover,
then so be it!”
“Ty Lee don’t say those kind of things,” Azula said quietly, trying to hide her
blushing.
 
~
“So normally someone would start out this kind of thing with an apology. But
the thing is Ty Lee, I’m not sorry.” Azula stared at the ground as they both
sat on the bed.
“I didn’t think you would be. I just want to know why. I mean, I enjoyed it
don’t get me wrong. I just want to know why you were so upset Zula.” She looked
at Azula with her normal smile.
“Do you remember when you were trying to make me jealous at Ba Sing Se?”
“Yeah. And it worked too, even though you tried to pretend it didn’t,” Ty Lee
laughed.
“I dreamed about that. But the end got distorted. I saw you actually having sex
with that boy. And lots of other boys. And that’s why I was so angry.”
“Zula that’s just dumb. Like I would ever let someone other than you touch me.
Once you’ve had someone perfect you’re not just going to step down.” Azula
looked at Ty Lee and smiled a bit.
“And Azula I know you think I’m going to leave again or whatever but I’m really
not. When I’m not with you my aura gets all dark and it’s really bad for my
skin.”
“Only you would know how to take something somewhat meaningful and then turn it
into being about your skin,” Azula chuckled.
“Well I’m being serious! I’m a mess without you. But there is one thing that
has to be taken care of you know.” Azula raised her eyebrow.
“Oh?”
“I have to return the favor.” Ty Lee pushed the Princess down onto her back and
straddled her.
***** Chapter 13 *****
Azula walked down the hall with her younger sister after a fairly normal war
meeting. They were on their way to get a pedicure, per usual. It was a sort of
tradition the two girls had, because while Azula enjoyed the meetings
immensely, she knew that her younger sibling did not. She wasn't sure if it was
because they reminded her of their brother too much, or if it was because she
was such a peaceful being that the talk of war truly bothered her. But for
whatever the reason, Azula had implemented them bonding together over foot
hygiene.
Maddie hadn't said anything since the war meeting. They sat down and Azula
looked at her sister with curiosity. Maddie was always relatively talkative,
especially whenever her sister was within ten feet of her. She never hid what
she thought from her sister. She just stared pensively at the wall, in deep
thought. Azula couldn't make sense of it. War meetings were never something
that Maddie concerned herself too much with. To her, they just all sounded the
same.
"Maddie, is there something bothering you?" Maddie looked over as though she
had been startled from a deep trance.
"I know I'm not as experienced as you are with the whole war general thing, but
that man just gave me a bad feeling. I know it might sound silly but I just get
a bad feeling from Admiral Zhao. He just…. I don't know something seemed so off
about him. I'm not questioning Papa's decisions or anything but I just get the
feeling that he is going to really botch the siege at the Northern Water
Tribe." Azula looked over at her sister. She had never seemed interested in the
war, nor strategizing. But the fact that her sister had picked up on something
that would seem of little importance to most caught her attention. Azula knew
that Maddie's instincts were never wrong. Not since they had been small
children.
"Well if you feel that way I think you should tell Dad. I mean, you won't be
disrespecting him like Zuko did because it's not like it's in a war meeting or
anything. You'll just be voicing your concerns to him, and he can't find any
fault with that."
"Would you go with me? I don't normally talk to him about war things."
"If you really want me to we can go after this. I don't think he has any more
meetings planned for the day."
"Thank you Azula, you're the best!"
"Well your instincts have never been wrong before."
 
Both girls kneeled before Fire Lord Ozai, waiting to be spoken to. Azula looked
at her nervous little sister. She didn't know how to tell her it was going to
be okay, that she wouldn't be banished like Zuko. Azula would fight for her
sister, unlike her useless brother.
"Papa, I would like to talk to you about something I'm worried about if you
aren't busy." Ozai smiled down at his youngest child.
"I'm never too busy for my daughters. Come up here my dear." Maddie hopped up
to the throne and sat on her father's knee like normal. Anyone who though Azula
was the favorite child was sadly mistaken. Maddie had been doted on by
everyone. Even Azula couldn't help but have a soft spot for those green eyes
that showed every single flicker of emotion.
"Papa, I didn't say anything during the war meeting because I didn't want to
disrespect anyone. But Admiral Zhao makes me feel worried about the siege of
the North Pole. I have a feeling that his hotheaded ways, which have been
demonstrated many times, will lose us this battle. I know I'm not a master
strategist, but I know what my gut tells me."
"Such a wise little child. Always holding in her inner thoughts out of respect.
Next time do not hesitate to speak up. If you are worried about commanding
officers, then I should be as well."
"Papa, Azula is so useful to you. I would like to be useful to you as well. May
I go to the North Pole? I just want to see if my suspicions are true. I won't
interfere unless necessary." The Fire Lord looked at his youngest child
pensively. She was the only child he was more than hesitant about letting go.
Azula was his chosen heir but Maddie was his favorite. He clung to her because
she was so much like her mother. That's why he had never minded that she wasn't
interested in the war.
"You know I hate to deny you anything. And as long as you are merely observing,
I can see no harm in it. Kai must accompany you however. He has served well as
you body guard, and he has mastered airbending."
"Thank you Papa!" Maddie grasped onto her father tightly before hopping off to
walk out with her sister. All Maddie had to do was bat those beautiful lashes
and the Fire Lord did whatever she wanted.
"Hey I got you something." Azula stepped into her sister's room a bit. She
would be leaving in a few days to accompany Admiral Zhao to the North Pole,
along with Kai. Her sister looked at her excitedly.
"Well close you eyes dum-dum." Maddie put her hands over her eyes and Azula
smirked. She couldn't wait for the reaction she was about to get. She slowly
placed it on the bed.
"Alright open." Maddie's face lit with delight as she ran towards her present.
On the bed Azula had placed some specially designed armor that looked almost
identical to her own. It was just smaller, as Maddie was a bit shorter and a
tad skinnier, as she hadn't grown into a woman yet. Azula was only beginning
to, but the signs were showing everyday. Maddie ran over and embraced her
sister in excitement.
"Oh Azula really?"
"Well I grew out of it already," she lied. She had to rush order it to make it
happen in time. Maddie didn't know how far her sister was really willing to go
for her. She had tried to convince their father to allow her to go with her,
but he had said it was out of the question. And Iroh was going to be there as
well so she felt a bit better about her sister going off alone. A bit, but not
much.
"It's perfect Azula! I'm going to make you proud I promise!" Azula hated to
watch her little sister go. Her sister waved excitedly from the ship as she
sailed away. Azula sighed. Everyone left her eventually. She knew Maddie would
be back, but it still pained her. First her cousin, then her mother and
grandfather. Zuko. Then Ty Lee, followed by Mai soon after. And now her sister.
She would be alone with her demons. She would cope. Maddie would always come
back. She always did.
 
~
Azula woke up to see brown hair in her face. At first she thought it was Ty Lee
but then she remembered where she was. The sheets were softer, and she could
smell a distinct smell of cinnamon. She smiled down at the younger girl who was
curled up next to her. Azula must have gotten up in her sleep and crawled into
bed with her. She wasn't normally a sleep walker. But it was always habit to
find Maddie while she was half awake through all the corridors of a palace. She
just didn't know how she did it in this palace. The younger girl looked
completely content cradled next to her. She had a small smile on her face, her
normally worried face smoothed into comfort. Azula slowly put her hand in the
girl's hair. She rarely got sweet moments with her sister, and she cherished
them. Though she would never say it out loud.
"Higher! Kick Higher!" Azula yelled at her sister as she instructed her
firebending. She watched her sister, her normal commanding demeanor back.
"Have you not practiced in the two years I was gone? Higher I said!" Azula sent
a swift kick of flames at her sister which she narrowly dodged.
"You are a firebender! You must be agile, nimble! It's not just a bunch of
kicks it's an art! If I had been aiming to kill you just now you would have
been burnt like your lazy brother! Let me see it again!" Maddie kicked higher
at her sister and Azula nodded in approval.
"Now lightning. As though you were going to strike through someone you hate."
Maddie quickly took her stance and shot lightning through her fingertips. Azula
smiled as she looked at her sister. Not a hair out of place.
"Well at least we know you're good at lightning." Maddie smiled, a tiny bead of
sweat running down her forehead. She stood and looked over at Kai. He was
walking over to them with his mother close behind. She was carrying drinks for
them.
"Alright my little firebenders. It's time for a drink break. Watermelon juice
for my two beautiful young ladies." Azula smiled, but waited for her sister to
do what she knew she had to. Maddie quickly bowed to Azula and then ran over to
the drinks. Azula slowly walked over.
"I can't wait to see you two spar," Kai smiled.
"You're going to be next Kai. We haven't sparred in a long time. And it's
always more interesting to fight someone who doesn't bend the same element as
you."
"You taught me everything I know though. So it doesn't really work."
"Well if you get bored with these two Azula you can always fight me. I haven't
been allowed to earthbend in awhile, but I'm sure if you give me a few minutes
to warm up next time I'll be at least amusing for you." Azula smiled at her.
"Well I did find the Dai Lee entertaining. And that little blind girl was
always a challenge. We should next time."
 
~
  "They keep trying to give names for what's wrong with her. Every doctor that
goes in there says something different. Antisocial Personality Disorder,
sociopath, psychosis, depression, sadism, that she has childhood abandonment
issues. I don't know what to think anymore. I don't think there is anything
wrong with her," Maddie whispered to the girl who was laying next to her in her
massive bed. Tears were streaming down her face and she tried to wipe them
away. Nothing could express what she felt.
"There isn't anything wrong with her. We just have to hope they find a doctor
who understands her," Ty Lee said softly. She was crying too. She blamed
herself more than anyone. If only she had been there for her. If only she had
stayed.
"Zuko says they're going to stop looking for doctor's soon. That they've tried
every respectable doctor they could think of."
"It's part of her mind not her body. Can't they find some kind of Guru, or some
kind of spiritual expert? It has nothing to do with her physical state. She's
always been in perfect health."
"They can't find anyone willing to talk to her. I've been trying Ty Lee. How
much harder can I try?! They are completely unwilling to help her. Zuko and Mai
just want her to rot in a cell for the rest of her life. But I can't live with
myself if that's what happens. I can't live in a world where my sister is
treated like that, where I can't even see her!' Her crying got louder and Ty
Lee embraced her. Ty Lee didn't know how to comfort her. She didn't know what
to say. She had always thought that Maddie would side with Zuko in the end,
that she was just afraid like Mai was. But she wasn't. She genuinely loved her
older sister. More than most people love their sister.
"We're going to find a way. She's going to get better. Okay? Never give up
without a fight. That's what Azula would always say to me."
"I just can't lose her. I already lost my father. I know that Zuko was close to
our mother, but I didn't have enough time to remember her. I can't hear her
voice. I only know what she looks like because of pictures. Whenever I try to
picture her, the only face I can see is Azula's. She took care of me. She made
sure that I would be okay. She slept with me when I had nightmares. She would
read me bedtime stories and put silly endings so I would laugh. She was the one
who believed I could do anything. She was the one who taught me firebending.
She was more than just my sister. She was my friend, and my mother. And
sometimes I feel like I put too much pressure on her. I feel like if we hadn't
bonded she wouldn't have felt the need to take the mother role too. And maybe,
she wouldn't be this way."
"You're not to blame. I'm more to blame than you are. But if anyone is really
to blame it's your parents and the way they treated her. Zuko could have easily
been her. Her doesn't want to admit it, but it's true. She will pull through,
because she always does. She's perfect, and she'll come out of this stronger."
"I hope so. I love her so much."
 
~
"You know if you actually practiced your firebending would be a close rival to
my own. That is, if you practiced."
"I'll keep that in mind. It's not my fault that I'm not as dedicated as the
most powerful firebender of all time." Maddie smiled up at her sister. She was
glad they had called it quits for the day. She was very tired, and needed to
rest. Her sister was right about the practice of course. But her motivation to
practice was her sister. She loved firebending because it reminded her of her
sister. But that had been the reason she hadn't practiced while her sister had
been in prison. She didn't have the right to firebend while her sister
couldn't. It had been Azula's passion. She had tried once while Azula was
imprisoned but she had broken down crying. Zuko had tried to comfort her, but
she had just blown up at him. She had told him it was his fault. That he had
taken her sister from her. That she should be allowed to see her. Her
firebending had been at it's max as she had created a large wall of fire
between them. But it evaporated as she started crying harder.
"Zula?"
"What?" Maddie looked up from the piece of paper she was reading.
"Zuko wants you to see another doctor. If I pick someone for you to talk to,
will you go?" Azula looked at her sister up and down.
"I thought you said you didn't think there was anything wrong with me?"
"I don't. But we have to convince Zuko remember?" Azula smirked at her younger
sister.
"I suppose I don't have much of a choice. Just please pick someone who isn't
completely horrible. You know how easily I can scare people away."   
 
***** Chapter 14 *****
“Your father has requested an audience with Fire Lord Azulon. Best clothes,
hurry up!”
“Fire Lord Azulon... Can’t you just call him ‘Grandfather’? He’s not exactly
the powerful Fire Lord he used to be. Someone will probably end up taking his
place soon.”
“Young lady! Not another word! What is wrong with that child?”
 
~
Wrong? Did there have to be something wrong with her? What about the rest of
the world? Her mother was a traitorous wench. Her brother was a coward. Mai was
a dumb, lovesick puppy. Ty Lee would follow whoever called. Maddie worshipped a
monster. The Avatar had been dumb enough to let her and her father live. Why
was there always something wrong with her? Most people called her a prodigy. To
her face. But she heard the whispers. She saw the stares. She had since she had
been a child. The way people looked at her when they asked about her mother.
How they all stared at her. She wasn’t crazy. She didn’t have a problem. If
everyone would just leave her well enough alone she could move on with
everything. Most of the time she just wanted to be left well enough alone.
Sometimes even her sister became too much for her. Sometimes she thought about
just running away. Her father knew what to do. Her father could give her the
answers. She should just reclaim what was hers.
Why did everyone look at her like she had something wrong with her? Didn’t they
know who she was? What blood ran through her veins? Didn’t they know she was
better than the commoners? That they should all bow before her? That she was a
Princess who got everything she wanted. Except one thing. Her. She needed to
stop thinking about her. She had gotten what she wanted. Why did she want....
why did she want more? Why couldn’t she get that silly girl with the braid out
of her mind? Why did everything have to be so confusing?
Azula used to think that the world was black and white. You were either evil or
good. You were either a prodigy or a dumdum. You were either perfect or not.
You were a monster or you weren’t. But for whatever the reason, the lines of
right and wrong were starting to blur to her. She knew she was a monster. Her
own mother had said so at one point. She was a prodigy. Her father had said so.
She was perfect. Ty Lee had said so. All the lines blurred in her mind, and no
matter how she tried she couldn’t figure out who she was. If she should be
imprisoned or not. If she should even be alive. She had thought of suicide
often enough in prison. If she had melted the mask to her face she would have
suffocated before anyone could do anything. But something always stopped her.
Cynical, narcissitic. Beautiful, intelligent. Ruler, tea server. Sometimes she
thought she must be insane, just like they said she was. She couldn’t remember
the first couple months of her captivity. She didn’t know if it was because of
the drugs or because she was mad. She didn’t know if there really was something
wrong with her or not. Was she okay? Was it wrong to use people for all they
were worth? Fear was the only way. It had to be.
Azula sat in the room waiting for whatever unfortunate doctor would come
through the door. She had all her swirling thoughts, very few of them making
sense. None of them seemed right to her. But yet some of them fit. She was
always so confused. She didn’t know what to make of her own sanity or lack
thereof. She didn’t know what she could say to another one of those people who
thought. She knew she was going to try to get them away from her. Just like she
had with all the others.
Azula was startled to see a face she knew. The young pair of gray eyes were
unmistakable. The blond girl sat across from her with the bald child next to
her. Azula raised her eyebrow at the surprising change of events. Of all the
people who would try to rehabilitate her, these were the last two she would
have ever expected. The two airbenders looked at each other nervously but the
girl smiled.
“Hello again Princess Azula.”
“Hello Elyon. Avatar.” Aang looked at the Princess with hesitation. Both young
people truly believed there was good in her. Just like Zuko had good in him.
They would just have to find it. Elyon was just as versed in the human mind as
she was with spiritual connections and the teachings of the monks and nuns of
the airbender temples. She hoped to find out the things that had caused Azula
to lose her mind, and what had caused her to use people all of her life. From
what she had gathered from Zuko, Azula had been born into using people. But
evil was not born, it was created. Both of them were sure of that.
“So my darling sister thought that sending the Avatar to the most feared person
to ever get out of prison was a good idea? Especially when the colonies are
talking about a rebellion, mainly focusing on me.”
“They don’t know you’re out of prison. As far as anyone knows, you’re still in
prison,” Aang said firmly. He still had his apprehensions about working with
Azula. He was the Avatar, not a therapist. But all Zuko had tried were medical
doctors. And no drugs had seemed to work. Not that anyone had really expected
them to.
“We’re here to try something different Azula. I assume you don’t know much
about the air nomads do you?”
“Only that my great-grandfather Sozin massacred them.” Aang tried to control
his anger, the way she said it as though it didn’t matter at all.
“Well, you’re going to learn. We are going to try a few different things.”
“I don’t see why everyone is so focused on me. I’m not the only crazy one in
the world.”
 
~
Ty Lee shook in her sleep. She shook when she was awake. Was it all real or was
it fake? Was it a dream or was it reality? It didn’t seem possible. She didn’t
know the difference. Her world was crumbling around her. Was she crazy? She
felt like she had hallucinations. She thought there were times when Azula came
to the cell. But she didn’t. She would scream with joy, run up to the cell, and
then feel nothing as she reached between the bars. And then she would cry. When
she was in the prison yard she tried to not let her sanity slipping in front of
Mai or the Kyoshi warriors. Not that it would matter, their cells were all near
hers. She tried not to let anything about her relationship with Azula shine
through but she didn’t know what she said in the middle of the night.
Mai worried about her. They all did. During the day she was her normal,
cheerful self saying that she and the Kyoshi warriors would now be best friends
forever. She laughed and showed her tricks to the other prisoners. But when the
lights went out, all she did was sob. Sometimes she screamed in her sleep. But
most of the time she barely slept. She thought she kept seeing her. She kept
hearing her in her head. Telling her what a horrible traitor she was. Tease
tease tease tease tease. No one cares about you, Ty Lee. No one cares what you
do. You’ll die alone. I never want to see your face again. All of the dripping
noises made her think too hard. Drip drip drip drip. She felt like she was
going insane. Maybe she already was.
Ty Lee rocked back and forth in her cell. She tried not to think about it. She
tried not to think about her. She kept rubbing her fingers. She endlessly
rubbed them. She had to make the feeling go away. She had to make the cold
metal feeling go away. Her fingers were red, almost bleeding. She kept rubbing
until they did. She broke down, laying down in her cell.
You’re pathetic Ty Lee. You disgust me. Sit up.
“It’s not really you! I just keep imagining you! What do you want? I’m sorry!
I’m so sorry....” Her crying continued as she reached for the bars. You will
suffer Ty Lee. You will suffer for what you did to me.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you...” No you don’t, “I do! I love you.
Please forgive me..” She erupted into sobs. She curled into herself. She just
kept repeating the same thing. That she was sorry. That she begged for
forgiveness. That she loved her. That she just wanted it to be like it was.
“Ty Lee, we’re really worried about you,” Mai looked at her friend. Her eyes
were sunken and swollen. She was trying her best to hide her hands. But they
knew.
“Let me help you,” Suki reached over and started wrapping them up. Ty Lee
clenched her eyes in pain.
“I’m fine. Really. I’m fine.” They both looked at her skeptically. Her smile
didn’t betray her inner thoughts. She didn’t reveal herself.


“You’re really pathetic Ty Lee.” Azula stood in front of Ty Lee’s cell. She
hadn’t been to visit. But Mai had begged her sister to tell Azula that Ty Lee
wanted to see her. She had put it off. She didn’t want to see the face of her
betrayer. Her lover. Her friend. She didn’t want to try and handle it. But
looking at her ex-love she didn’t feel as though she was looking at her
traitor. She was looking at six year old Ty Lee who begged her to come back.
She kept her emotions at bay while she looked at her. She tried to keep herself
under control.
“I know you’re not real. You’ve been here every night and every time I reach
out it isn’t you.” Azula looked at her with her brow raised.
“Fine have it your way. Have fun rotting in your cell.” Ty Lee grabbed her
clothing.
“It’s you. It’s really you this time,” she whispered.
“Of course dumdum. This is your final goodbye. Say whatever you need to say.”
“I’m sorry! I’m so so sorry! Please forgive me! I love you.”
“No you don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t have picked her over me.”
“I didn’t!”
“You did. I bet you were fucking her behind my back too,” she whispered.
“Azula I would never-”
“You make me sick. Goodbye Ty Lee.” And Ty Lee was left to deal with her own
madness. Had it been real? Or had she imagined her again?
 
~
“Why is she like that?!” Aang shouted. He had stormed out of the room, leaving
Elyon with her. Azula smirked as she listened to the conversation. Even the
Avatar couldn’t handle her. Although she had already known. But the girl still
remained. She was determined. Azula couldn’t tell why. They were alone in the
room with Azula just staring at her.
“I’m not going to give up you know. You think you have a will of steel, but in
the end you’ll just sway like the air you bend.” Elyon smiled at her.
“You know, Toph told me to stay away from you. She told me this was a bad idea,
that you were probably a lost cause. But I see something in you. And you’re so
funny. It’s really funny to see Aang all worked up like that.”
“So I’m just supposed to vent to you or something?”
“Pretty much. I get paid either way.”
“I think I like you.”
***** Chapter 15 *****
“Azula!! Azula guess what?!” Ty Lee jumped up and down excitedly near the other
girl’s desk. Azula pretended to not notice her at first, just hoping she would
calm down on her own. But she didn’t. She just kept jumping excitedly.
“I don’t feel like playing guessing games today Ty Lee.”
“Well you’ll never guess anyways! But try!”
“Just tell me Ty Lee.”
“THE CIRCUS IS GOING TO BE IN TOWN!!!” Ty Lee squealed excitedly. All the other
girls were looking at them and Azula felt herself becoming annoyed.
“Why on earth would I care about the circus?” Ty Lee’s face became a bit
disappointed.
“Well you always say we never go and do anything fun so I just thought-”
“You thought that I’d enjoy watching a bunch of weirdos perform? Or that I’d
like to see a bunch of animals do tricks? Why would I like to see them do
tricks when you do tricks for me?”
“You’re right Azula. I’m sorry.” Ty Lee sat down, looking disappointed. Azula
felt a little guilty but kept it to herself. But the way the girls shoulders
slumped made her feel sorry for what she had said. She truly didn’t mind the
circus. How could she know, having never been to one? Her father wouldn’t let
her go the only time she had asked if she could go with Ty Lee. She wondered
how she always got herself into these predicaments. She always ended up having
to apologize, even though she did it without words.
“Ty Lee, Mai. You should both come over tonight. It’ll be fun.” Azula leaned up
against their lunchtime tree. Ty Lee sat next to Mai and they both looked at
each other.
“Well it’s not like there’s anything better for me to do at home.”
“Sure Azula. It’ll be fun to have a sleepover.” Ty Lee smiled up at her.
“Perfect. I’ll expect you there early Ty Lee. No silly excuses from your
parents either. I do hate to be kept waiting.” Azula and Mai grabbed their
things and started walking away.
“Did you get them?”
“Yeah I did. She’s going to be really confused Azula.” Mai smiled a bit and
Azula’s smirk was obvious.
 
Ty Lee was confused to see everyone just standing around when she got to
Azula’s room. They normally would be sitting. Azula would be getting her nails
painted and Mai would be gossiping about generals or other nobleman daughters
with her. But they were just standing around, not talking. Ty Lee looked very
confused. If they were giving her an annoying intervention about her pinkness
she was going to be extremely angry.
“I told you not to be late.”
“Sorry I-”
“We’re leaving come on.” Azula pushed her way through the door, with Mai behind
her. Ty Lee scurried to catch up as they started to walk towards the nearest
exit.
“Oh Mai I almost forgot. Blindfold her.” Mai snuck up behind Ty Lee and covered
her eyes.
“Hey what are you guys doing?!”
“You’ll see. Just hang onto me would you?” Mai said blandly. Ty Lee did as she
was told but she had no idea what they could be doing. It wasn’t her birthday,
or a holiday. She must be in trouble. Azula must be mad at her for some reason.
She couldn’t think of anything she had done. Had a boy flirted with her that
she couldn’t remember? Had she forgotten to do something Azula had told her to
do earlier? Were they going to play some kind of joke on her? Mai and Azula had
a similar dark sense of humor, the main reason why they were friends. Ty Lee
started to get nervous.
“Alright sit down.” Azula pushed her down and then untied her blindfold.
“OH AZULA REALLY?!” she squealed. She looked down into the circus ring. They
were in the best seats as everyone had just started to come in. She clung to
her friend in delight as she waited for the show to start. Azula smiled. Even
if the show was terrible, she had gotten what she wanted.
 
~
Azula stood outside the tent hesitantly. She didn’t know why she was
hesitating. She had to convince her sister into letting her sneak out instead
of going straight back to her uncle’s. She had to manipulate her uncle into
allowing her to pick Ty Lee up. Not that the old man minded. He didn’t like Ty
Lee walking home late at night after her shows without someone. She was a
pretty girl after all, and everywhere in the world there were creeps lurking
around. Azula hadn’t liked how he said that. It made her start to worry about
Ty Lee going home everyday. People just couldn’t ignore someone as pretty as Ty
Lee. It was just impossible.
Azula took a peek into the main tent, waiting for the show to end. She saw Ty
Lee up on the tightrope. She smiled. She remembered how agile and nimble she
was. She was always so much more flexible and quick than Azula was. She
couldn’t help but admire her from afar. It was more fun to watch her when she
didn’t look petrified of falling into a burning net. She was even smiling,
something that was common. But she looked almost perfectly happy. And Azula
sometimes wondered why she had ever taken her away from that life in the first
place. If she had just let her be, she never would have betrayed her. And then
Ty Lee would have come running to her after Mai’s betrayal. And everything
would have been wonderful.
She looked at all of the people applauding Ty Lee as she came down from the
rope and bowed. Azula then made her way to Ty Lee’s dressing room. She leaned
against the wall near the  mirror. She thought she should have brought some
flowers to make it like old times, but she didn’t have any money yet. Her uncle
was very specific about payday, which vexed her a little bit. Not that she was
one for being nostalgic, and she wasn’t one for wooing either. But she liked to
make Ty Lee smile every now and again. She felt guilty for waking Ty Lee up in
the middle of the night, most every night. She knew how tired she must be after
all of the circus work and staying up late at night. Sometimes getting up very
early in the morning for their mischievous devices. Yet Azula always felt bad
for making Ty Lee lose sleep, and worry about her. She was the worrying sort,
something Azula couldn’t personally understand. But she appreciated her
worrying lover, despite all the irksome complications that came with it.
Ty Lee came in, starting to take off some of her headwear. Her eyes looked
tired, but her smile was still plastered onto her face. Ty Lee was always
grateful for the feeling the circus gave her, but she didn’t like the thought
of walking home with all the leering gazes that always happened in the lower
ring. The circus was just barely in the lower ring, but Iroh’s home was so
close to the palace that it was a long walk. And even in the upper ring there
were perverts who lurked in the corners.
Azula was amazed that Ty Lee hadn’t noticed her yet. She had been standing
there for a long time, unmoving but she didn’t blend in. Azula had come in one
of her red outfits, as she hated walking around in the green all day. It was
one of her only opportunities to show her true colors, the blood color that she
adored so much. She stuck out in front of the green tent, but Ty Lee wasn’t
expecting anyone. She had gotten used to walking home by now.
“Well you didn’t fall tonight.” Ty Lee nearly jumped out of her skin as Azula
moved towards her. She had grasped her chest in surprise and slowly started to
lower her arms.
“Azula you scared me. What are you doing here?”
“Picking you up of course. I can’t let an attractive young woman like you walk
home all alone now can I?” She started to circle her like a hawk. She liked it
much better when Ty Lee wore pink. It suited her, as much as she had first
hated it when they were children. She hated seeing her in the green Kyoshi
warrior uniform. It just wasn’t right. And pink made her look so much more
attractive. So much more womanly.
“I’m kind of glad you’re here Azula. I really hate all of those creepy guys on
the way home. Is your Uncle waiting outside for us?”
“No.” Azula had by that point backed Ty Lee into her dressing table, which she
picked her up and sat her down on. Ty Lee’s arms wrapped around Azula’s neck
instinctually as she smiled up at her.
“Good.” Ty Lee reached up slowly and pressed her lips against Azula’s. They had
never started anything slowly. Not since they had been twelve. That first time
they had just been exploring, tasting, testing. But then it had been nothing
but frenzied. Now it was passionate, slow. Something Azula had assumed she
wouldn’t like. Ty Lee always surprised her with something new. She always made
her find out something about what she enjoyed.
The slow sensual dance of lips and tongues was something that Ty Lee enjoyed.
She sighed as she leaned forward more. She had always wanted to ask Azula, but
she always played by the Princess’s rules. But this moment, it was perfect.
Azula’s hand was softly placed at the base of her neck and she showed no signs
of her usual rushing nature. And Azula truly felt no need to rush. They both
heard a rustlings near the entrance of the tent and pulled away sharply. A
young man entered shyly with some flowers.
“I just wanted to tell you what a great job you did tonight Miss Ty Lee.”
“Oh thank you.” Ty Lee gracefully took the flowers from him.
“It’s nice to see Ty Lee has friends who love to watch her too! Please have a
nice evening you two,” he winked towards Ty Lee. As soon as he was gone Azula’s
scowl was apparent. Ty Lee touched her cheek lightly.
“Don’t worry Zula he’s someone you’ll never have to compete with. He’s another
acrobat and his boyfriend is very kind.” Azula smirked as she looked down at
her friend.
“Perhaps we should continue what we started when we get home. If you’re not too
tired.”
“I’m not too tired for that,” Ty Lee playfully winked.
 
~
“Azula?” Ty Lee ran her hair through Azula’s hair after combing it. Azula
sometimes wished Ty Lee didn’t feel the need to speak. Sometimes it was just
better if they didn’t get into deep conversations. But she knew Ty Lee thought
that she knew everything. Ty Lee never came to anyone else with her concerns.
She did talk to Mai about relationships, but there were so many things she
couldn’t say. Because Azula never had to make Ty Lee swear not to tell. She
didn’t want anyone to know about them either. Well not at that point she
didn’t. She was still trying to figure it all out.
“Do you think... do you think there are other girls out there like us?”
“You mean who make out with each other? I’m sure there have to be.”
“Well.... where are they?” Azula sighed.
“Why does it matter?”
“I guess it doesn’t. I’d just like to know that we’re not alone.”
“You’re not alone. I like making out with you. See, one girl who kisses girls.”
“Well of course silly. But I mean someone else. Someone we can talk to.”
“We don’t need to talk to anyone. You only have to talk to someone if you have
a problem. You don’t think this is a problem do you?”
“Of course not. I just think-” Azula turned around.
“You think too much Ty Lee. Let me do the thinking.” Ty Lee smiled as Azula’s
hand touched her cheek. She leaned into her hand as she looked into her
beautiful amber eyes.
“I’m sorry. I just worry too much.”
“We have nothing to worry about. As long as no one finds out.” Ty Lee nodded.
“Not even Mai right?”
“Especially not her.” Ty Lee smiled. She couldn’t imagine her boring friend
caring about the two of them being together. She probably even suspected with
all the time they spent alone together. The way Ty Lee always talked about
Azula whenever they had a day where they hung out without her. The way Ty Lee’s
name rolled off of Azula’s tongue and the small smirk that accompanied it. The
way the two girls stared at one another in a crowded room. The way there was
rarely one without the other. Ty Lee knew that Mai wasn’t stupid, nor was she
blind. She wondered how many people suspected them. She even wondered if Ozai
did. Although he thought Azula was the perfect daughter so he probably never
thought she would do anything to disgrace him. None of her family had any idea.
At least that’s what she thought.
“How was your visit with the Princess?” Her father sat near her mother. Ty Lee
hadn’t expected them to be up as late as they were. All of her siblings and the
servants were all asleep. Ty Lee didn’t know what to expect. They were both
smiling at her, something that didn’t normally occur. Them paying attention to
her was something unusual.
“It was nice.” She started to leave the room and heard her parents hushed
voices. She stopped behind the doorway to listen.
“If Ty Lee keeps it up, we’ll be the parents of the Fire Lady.”
“Do you really think the Princess feels that way about her?”
“Of course she does. We’ll be spending holidays in the palace in a couple of
years you’ll see!”
“Ty Lee had better do as she should and stay with that girl. Our future is
assured if she does.” She hadn’t thought that her parents could become worse
than they already were. But they had. They were going to use her feelings for
Azula to their own advantage. What was worse was that they thought the
affections were one sided. Her heart pounded and ached. She wouldn’t let them
use her. But more importantly she wouldn’t let them use Azula. She ran to her
room and started throwing her belongings into her bag. She was leaving that
night.


***** Chapter 16 *****
Chapter Summary
     Sexual Content Warning
Ty Lee and Mai rarely got time alone together. Ty Lee had been asked over
because Azula had a long war meeting that she couldn’t miss and Mai often got
bored without her. As much as Mai hated to admit it, she really liked Azula.
Most of the time Ty Lee was almost jealous. Their sense of humor was in sync,
and they could gossip about anything. There were many times where Ty Lee felt
like the third wheel. She didn’t want to say anything, but she felt like a
freak when she was with them. They could easily seem like two normal girls,
while Ty Lee thought about acrobatics and fluffy things. And Azula.  
Ty Lee sat near Mai in her room. They usually sat on the bed, and Mai would
complain about one thing or another. Ty Lee looked up to the slightly older
girl and she often wanted to seek her wisdom. Although, Mai had less experience
with relationships than Ty Lee did, with all of her adoring fans. Mai often
secretly thought that she preferred hanging out with Azula only because she
never asked for relationship advice. Azula was so confident with herself,
something that Ty Lee envied. Mai herself envied it, wishing she could be up
front and brutally honest as the Princess was.
Mai twirled her knife around, waiting for Ty Lee to ask her something. Ty Lee
always asked questions that she couldn’t ask Azula because she feared she would
take them the wrong way. Being in a complicated, almost abusive relationship
with the Princess made her question many things. It was only mentally and
emotionally abusive, and most of the time it wasn’t. It was only when Ty Lee
talked about her doubts, when she wondered if there was something wrong with
the two of them. Or if there was something wrong with her, because there
couldn’t be anything wrong with Azula. Azula was perfect in every way. Maybe
she was wrong for doubting it.
“So Mai, when you like someone but you have to hide that you like them, is
there something wrong?” Mai sighed. She had no idea how to answer that
question.
“Well why do you have to hide it?”
“Well if you like someone and they like you back but you have to pretend
because other people won’t like it.”
“Like this guy has a girlfriend or something? Or an overbearing mother? Or
you’re not in the same social class? Get to the point Ty Lee you’re not making
any sense.”
“Well it’s just someone that you know you shouldn’t have feelings for but you
do anyways.” Mai knew what that was like. She had feelings for a banished
Prince who had a temper that was worse than Azula’s. And at least Azula wasn’t
impulsive. Well, not most of the time.
“Well you have to do what you think is right. I mean, how would great love
stories happen if people just listened to society? If you have to hide it, I
think that’s pretty sad.”
“Well I’m not really the one who wants to hide it.”
“Are they married? Are you involved with someone you shouldn’t be Ty Lee?”
“Oh no it’s nothing like that! They aren’t married or even in a relationship
with someone else. It’s just kind of forbidden.”
“Well I think you should just go for it. You’re usually the impulsive sappy one
not me.”
“Maybe you’re right.” Mai secretly thought about how little Azula was going to
like Ty Lee dating any boy. She had long suspected that Azula had feelings for
Ty Lee, feelings that ran deeper than just friendship. She had long ago noticed
that Azula had eyes for the acrobat and she had honestly been surprised that
Azula hadn’t ordered Ty Lee into a relationship with her. But Ty Lee didn’t
seem all that interested, being surrounded by all of those boys. She didn’t
seem to notice the Princess’ affections. She looked as though she was
completely oblivious to them. Ty Lee was boy crazy by definition and all she
could think about was some guy. And based on what Mai had seen, it was a new
boy every week or so. Ty Lee always seemed like she had to have ten boyfriends
at once.
Ty Lee couldn’t deny she had kissed a boy before. That had been what had led
her to kissing Azula when they were twelve. She hadn’t liked kissing the boy,
but she hadn’t hated it. Azula had gotten angry at her and she couldn’t
understand why. She now knew the truth. She had always had feelings for Azula.
She always had men at her beck and call because it was the easiest way to hide
behind how odd she felt inside. Weren’t women supposed to like men? Weren’t
women, especially girls of her age, supposed to enjoy men pursuing them? She
hid behind all of the men because she didn’t want to admit she had little
interest in them. She wanted Azula. And the easiest way to hide it was through
men. And no one had suspected. Not even Mai.
“You know, if you have a real problem you should probably see an adult. I mean
our parents are rich so they can afford therapists or whatever. And the school
has a counselor.”
“I don’t want to worry anyone with my silly girl problems.”
 
~
Ty Lee could feel her senses soaring as Azula slowly started their game. The
walk home from her performance had been almost unbearable. The way Azula kept
looking at her, taking her sweet time to walk home, meandering at every turn.
Ty Lee almost wished they were in a rush. She was too excited, too ready to try
something different. She had always been like that, wanting to rush into
things. Azula was always the planner, the one who thought everything out. Ty
Lee was impulsive, she did whatever came to her head and went with it. Most of
the time she was lucky enough to have Azula to put the ideas into her head.
Azula was being so patient, so slow paced that Ty Lee almost wanted to speed
things up. Almost but not quite. She didn’t mind being the one on the receiving
end. She loved to bask in all the attention. And when Azula was with her, she
made her feel like the most important person in the world. Well, while they
were fooling around. Otherwise she treated Ty Lee the same way she treated
everyone, except with a little more caring when it came to feelings.
Ty Lee felt breathless as they laid on the bed. They were just kissing, but for
whatever reason she was more excited than she normally was, something she
hadn’t thought possible. She had never felt this way before. She had always
thought that she was just the experimental fling that Azula kept around, not
something to be cherished. She was merely something to be used until she was
sucked dry and then thrown away. But right now she felt as though she was
worshipped, cherished. The way she felt about Azula.
Azula didn’t know why she felt so compelled to take her time. She had never
wanted to go slowly with Ty Lee. Ty Lee was something to be enjoyed she was
sure but she had never thought of cherishing her body slowly. She was always in
such a rush. She was always in a rush to be Fire Lord, get married, have the
required amount of children, prove her worth. Bed Ty Lee. Make her squeal in
delight. But for whatever reason tonight the small hitching of her breath, the
way she sighed, the way she unconsciously pulled closer were things that drove
her wild. She couldn’t help but make herself slow down with such a captive
audience. And for whatever reason, Azula never cared about her own pleasure as
much. Ty Lee always came first when the lights went out.
Azula slowly planted kisses down Ty Lee’s jawline, listening to the steady
intake of breath. She lightly kissed her pulse, revelling in the way the girl’s
heartbeat sped up. She took her sweet time planting butterfly kisses down her
neck to her collarbone, pulling the shirt down slightly. Ty Lee’s eyes
fluttered shut, unable to control her own body or the sensations running
through her. It was so different than before. Azula gently pulled the shirt
over Ty Lee’s head, leaving room for Ty Lee to pull Azula’s off as well.
Azula’s mouth found it’s place back at Ty Lee’s collarbone. Her tongue darted
out onto Ty Lee’s skin and she shuddered. The things Azula made her feel, the
way she could do the smallest thing and alight her passions. Azula could just
look at her and her skin would burn with desire.
Ty Lee brushed her hand upwards, up Azula’s abdomen, listening to the heavy
breathing. She didn’t know she could make Azula feel what she was feeling too.
Maybe, just maybe they didn’t have to take turns this time? She slowly pushed
Azula down next to her, both of them laying on their sides. Azula raised her
brow, something that always drove Ty Lee mad. Ty Lee leaned in and captured her
lips with her own and sighed into her lover’s mouth. Azula smirked against the
lips as her hands traced the curves of Ty Lee’s beautiful body. Ty Lee slowly
lowered her hand down Azula’s body, stroking through her underwear. Azula let
out a noise she hadn’t meant to and Ty Lee giggled. She looked into Azula’s
eyes and smiled the fullest smile she had ever felt.
“You are so beautiful.”
 
~
Ty Lee got up every morning and did the same things. She pulled on the uniform.
She was glad for the makeup, it covered the bags under her eyes. She went and
trained with the other girls. She helped them with whatever tasks needed to be
done. She played with the children and taught the little girls how to do
cartwheels. She laughed with Suki and the others until late in the night. And
then she peeled away the makeup every night, tears running down her soft skin.
She would take her hair down and put her head into the pillow so that her tears
would be muffled and she always prayed for sleep. She promised that she would
be the best, kindest citizen and Kyoshi warrior if she could just have one
night without thinking about her, one night without dreaming about her. Without
hearing her voice. Smelling her skin. Feeling her hair in her hand.
She knew she should be over it. She knew she should try to forget. She knew
that she should just give up on her. She was always going to be insane. And
even if she wasn’t, she would never love her back. Not the way Ty Lee loved
her. She knew that Azula may even decide to never speak to her again. And she
couldn’t handle that pain. She kept hoping, kept praying that Azula would
forgive her and get better. And hopefully someday she could warm her heart
enough to be with her. And not just like before where they had secretly snuck
around. Really be with her. Ty Lee knew she needed to move on, but for whatever
reason, she still couldn’t.
Ty Lee had been asked out by plenty of different boys from the island. She had
no intention of taking up any of their offers. They often gave her gifts and
tried to impress her. They didn’t know how hard it was to impress her. She had
seen blue fire, and lightning. She had seen firebending at its peak, the most
precision that would ever be. She had seen a drill go through the wall of Ba
Sing Se. She had seen the most flawless girl in the world play volleyball. She
had reveled in the soft skin of an exposed shoulder, as brief a glimpse as it
had been of the precious skin underneath. She had tasted perfection, and she
wanted more. And none of them could ever be that close. None of them could ever
be her.
Ty Lee sat by the shore line and looked out. She knew she should stop coming
here. It reminded her so much of Azula. She always went to the same place that
faced the Fire Nation. She always felt a little closer when she looked out into
the ocean. She looked at the sand and remembered their time together on Ember
Island. She remembered how little the Princess actually liked swimming because
the water was too cold for her naturally warm temperature. She preferred hot
springs to any of the freezing cold waters of the ocean. Ty Lee smiled as she
remembered the Princess sticking her toe into the water and then opting to
sunbathe. And Ty Lee decided to join her, only to be surrounded by men.
Everywhere she went they flocked and she knew how annoyed Azula always became
when it happened.
“Hey Ty Lee what are you doing out here?” Ryu walked up to Ty Lee, sitting
close to her. She looked so much like her. She looked so much like her that it
was scary. She always looked more like her with the makeup on but even without
it the resemblance was uncanny. She just didn’t have the golden eyes. She
couldn’t focus when she looked at Ryu because there was no honey, no sugar
sweet color in her eyes for her to hold onto. And her voice was wrong. But if
Ty Lee was going to attempt to replace Azula in her life, she would have picked
this girl. She was almost a perfect copy. But almost was never good enough.
“I’m just thinking.”
“You miss home don’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you leave a boyfriend?” Ty Lee blinked repeatedly as she looked at her
friend. She wondered if she could tell her about her almost girlfriend but
decided against it.
“Of course not silly.”
“Well I just thought since you’ve rejected every boy on the island,” she
chuckled.
“I had a thing for someone once. I messed it up though.” Ty Lee looked down on
the ground sadly. She didn’t want to think about it.
“Well, have you ever thought about being with a girl?” Ty Lee looked at her,
dumbfounded, “Because I’d like to take you on a date or something.” Ty Lee knew
that she should try it. She should get over her. Azula couldn’t blame her for
moving on. Yes she could. Ty Lee had already hurt her enough.
“Thank you. You’re really sweet. But I’m just not over it yet.”
“That’s okay. My offer stands.” She patted Ty Lee on the shoulder and then got
up. When Ty Lee was sure she was far enough away she let out a small whimper.
The tears that normally only plagued her at night trickled down her soft cheek.
She was glad that there wasn’t any makeup for her to clean up today. She looked
out at the ocean, not sure how she felt.
“Isn’t it enough that I tried? Isn’t it enough that I have suffered and am
still suffering? Why can’t I be happy?! It’s not like you were my true love!
You could never love me! Why can’t I get over you? Why can’t I be happy without
you! You didn’t want me anyways. I was just your pet, your circus freak! I was
just the one that you would come running to when you couldn’t figure things out
with a man! I was just the mouth you would invade, the mind you would say sweet
words to! You were just using me weren’t you!” Ty Lee screamed at the ocean,
not sure why she was doing it. It wasn’t as though Azula could hear her. She
was locked up, and that thought still bothered Ty Lee. At least if Azula hated
her, she should be able to hate her from wherever she pleased. Ty Lee hadn’t
really tried. That’s when it all hit her.
“I.... I didn’t try. You never gave up on me. Even after I betrayed you, you
still came to see me in prison. If you knew how to love, you would have loved
me wouldn’t you? I just ran away Azula... but I’m going to make it right!” Ty
Lee wiped the tears from and smiled. She knew what she had to do.
 
“You want to leave?” Suki looked at her new friend up and down. She had been
with them for two years and had never requested any time off. She had always
cheerily declined, even when Mai or Maddie had invited her as their treat. Ty
Lee finally had enough money to do what she had planned. She had for quite
awhile actually. But she had been afraid. No longer. No longer would she be
afraid of what Azula had to say to her. She knew that she couldn’t give up on
her, even if everyone else had.
“I’ve been saving money to do it for a long time. I really want to see Mai.
I’ve really missed her you know!” Part of Ty Lee told her it was wrong to emit
the truth. But she didn’t want Suki to try and stop her.
“Well if that’s what you really want, then who am I to stop you? Your family
must miss you terribly anyways. Oh and you got a letter.” Suki handed the piece
of folded paper to Ty Lee, who noticed the royal seal on it. She slowly opened
it. She didn’t know who it could be from. She hadn’t answered Mai or Maddie’s
letters in a long time, because she truly had nothing to say. She couldn’t
think of a single thing to say to them. She had been so utterly depressed
lately.
“Ty Lee I know I shouldn’t say this to you as your commander, but as your
friend I feel like I need to. You really need to let her go. I know you two
were more than just friends, but I really think that you need something
different in your life. Something healthy.”
“I’ve really tried to let go Suki. I really have. But I just can’t let go. Not
until I know that I’ve done everything within my power to help her. Even if she
never loves me back, as long as she is back to her normal self I couldn’t care
less. I love her Suki.”
“She’s never going to get better Ty Lee. I know that this is your decision but
I don’t want you to miss out on living just because you love her.”
“I’m missing out right now. Not being by her side is the worst pain I can
imagine. I know I don’t act like it, but I need her in my life. I need her. And
she needs me.” Ty Lee slowly skimmed the letter and became nervous by what she
saw.
“It looks like I’m going home earlier than I thought. I have received a royal
summons. You and Sokka, along with the rest of Team Avatar are also being
summoned.”
 
~
“I thought Azula was the only one who was going to therapy?” Ty Lee sat with
her legs crossed on the floor. She looked up at the young blond girl who she
knew was the same age. The girl was smiling, looking down at her. She honestly
didn’t know how to explain any of this to Ty Lee. She didn’t know if she should
explain that Mai and Zuko had thought it was best to make sure that Azula
wasn’t abusing her psyche. They wanted to make sure she wasn’t becoming Azula’s
puppet and they also wanted to hear from Ty Lee that Azula wasn’t scheming
anything. Elyon hadn’t agreed for those reasons. She knew that Ty Lee would be
the largest contributor to Azula recovering but she also wondered about the
girl’s mental status. Everyone had demons, but they rarely talked about them.
Elyon could see that the guilt had eroded away the spunky personality of the
young acrobat.
“Well we all know that Azula’s recovery is going to be sped up by you. Besides,
I consider us friends. You could think of it as just two friends catching up.”
Elyon cringed as she thought about poor Toph. Toph had volunteered to “babysit”
Azula while Ty Lee talked with Ellie for a bit. They were no doubt shooting
angry barbs at one another. She wondered how long she should make the meeting
because she could already imagine the lightning and boulders flying through the
air as they argued over nothing. She tried to not let her nerves for Toph show
but she couldn’t help it. They both could have rather irrational tempers and
they were so similar in ways that neither wanted to admit.
“Okay... so what do you want to talk about exactly?” Ty Lee didn’t know what
she should, or more importantly shouldn’t say to this girl. She didn’t know
whether Azula would verbally beat her for disclosing private information.
“Well, we can talk about anything you want to really. Your childhood, your
friends, how you’ve been recently, dating, or even if you really want to
Azula.” Ty Lee didn’t like any of those topics. She wouldn’t have minded
talking about her friends except she hadn’t talked to the in a long time. And
her childhood was strictly off limits except all the things she had done with
Azula. And dating also fell under Azula. And she really didn’t want to talk
about her complicated relationship with Azula. This girl wouldn’t understand
what it was like to hide her feelings for another girl.
“Uh.... well.... Azula is really the only subject that you said that isn’t
completely off limits so... I guess we could talk about her if you want.”
“So how have you two been?” Ty Lee blushed as she thought about all of the
awkward things that could be said. Emotionally she felt like it was a
rollercoaster sometimes. She couldn’t tell if they were okay or not. Most of
the time she couldn’t tell if they were together or if they were just friends
who fucked. She didn’t really want to talk about feelings. Well, she did when
Azula was around. But what could this straight girl know about their
relationship? And she wasn’t nobility so it wasn’t like she could understand
that aspect either.
“We’ve been alright. Azula is working hard at the tea shop and I’m doing well
in the circus again. I mean it’s still really fun and everything. And we’ve
been spending a lot of time together again recently which is really fun. I
really missed her.” Ty Lee didn’t know how much she should avoid telling her.
Azula said that you only needed to talk someone if there was a problem. And
there wasn’t a problem was there? Not according to Azula, but to her? There
felt like there was something wrong between the two of them. Something they
should talk about.
“Have you two been... intimate again?” Ty Lee blushed.
“I don’t see how that would be any of your business but yes we have.” She
crossed her arms. Azula wasn’t going to be happy about this. But what she
didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her right?
“So do other people know about you two? Being together that is?”
“I don’t think I would call it together. I mean we’re not seeing anyone else
but we’re not together either. And no one knows. Azula doesn’t want to make it
public.”
“Don’t you have a problem with that?”
“Yes and no I guess,” Ty Lee started to get frustrated, “What would you know
anyways? It’s not like you have to hide your feelings for someone of the same
sex! You don’t know what it’s like being in the Fire Nation nobility where you
can’t talk about things like that! It just isn’t something you do. Azula and I
never talk about our feelings and I think that has something to do with it!” Ty
Lee never normally got angry. She just held everything in.
“You think I don’t know what it’s like but I do. I have feelings for a girl.
And it was love at first sight. Well, sound I suppose. I have never met someone
like her. I met her and with a single conversation I was completely enthralled.
But she only appears to like boys, so I do know what it is like to hide your
feelings for someone of the same sex. You shouldn’t judge before you know.
Besides, I would rather talk about you. You two aren’t in the nobility anymore.
Why does she still insist that you two hide it?” Ty Lee looked surprised. She
had never met another girl who liked girls before. Suddenly she didn’t feel so
alone and she broke out into a smile. She didn’t know why she had been so
hostile to this girl before.
“Azula doesn’t like talking about feelings. She isn’t lovey-dovey like other
girls and I’m okay with that. I don’t need some kind of declaration of love to
be happy. I know she has some kind of feelings for me and that’s enough. I
would love to hold her hand in public and call her mine. But if she doesn’t
want that then I’m not going to pressure her. I’m not going to lose her again.”
***** Chapter 17 *****
“They... they aren’t killing each other?” Elyon and Ty Lee looked in wonder as
the two girls lounged on the steps in the garden of the palace. Toph was waving
her arms around as she yelled and the Princess laughed every now and again and
added something of her own. Elyon hadn’t expected this. After all the
preparation Toph had given Elyon about the vicious, manipulating nature of the
Princess, she had taken to her. Toph was laughing and smiling and Azula had her
own characteristic smirk, although it was easy to see she was enjoying herself
based on her brow. Ellie had known they were similar, but she hadn’t known they
would get over themselves so quickly. Toph wasn’t one for being mature so she
couldn’t see her making the first move in a friendship. And Azula didn’t seem
like one to make friends, she seemed like someone who demanded people to bow
down and be friends with her. And yet, there the two of them were, laughing as
though they had known each other all their lives.
Ty Lee and Ellie started to approach them. Ty Lee was confused herself. Azula
had never made friends easily. In school Azula had only been friends with Ty
Lee and Mai, and both of them had been introduced to her by her mother, not
made by her own design. She didn’t know any funny things to say and she didn’t
know how to make small talk. She did know how to talk about bending, but
firebending was vastly different from earthbending in many ways, although there
were always some things that carried over. The Princess did know how to use
words, but she mostly tried to manipulate people, something that Toph would
have none of. Maybe that’s why she liked her after all.
“Hey what are you two talking about?” Ellie and Ty Lee smiled down at them.
Azula smiled up at Ty Lee, and Toph smiled up at Ellie. Her blank eyes seemed
to be reading the young airbender for signs of discomfort. And she found many.
“Eh nothing much. Just sitting around waiting for you two to be done.”
“So you two didn’t try to kill each other?” Ty Lee joked.
“Well, we threw some insults at each other for quite awhile and then started
talking about our similar family problems. And then we started laughing by
making fun of Zuzu and all of the friends of the Avatar. It was very fun I
assure you.” Azula smiled. She hadn’t thought she would take to the young
bender. She mostly thought that she was one of those goody two shoes like the
rest of that bunch, spouting speeches about doing the right thing. She hadn’t
thought that the young girl was an opportunist, just as she herself had been.
She was also interested as they both had special, unique bending that no one
else had. And she was incredibly brash and sarcastic, making her easy for the
Princess to like. She hadn’t thought it possible, but here she was laughing it
up with a tiny blind girl who she had once thought her enemy. Well, they were
still enemies in a sense.
“I honestly thought you two would have killed each other by now,” Ellie sighed
with relief.
“Oh come now we’re both two adults waiting for you girly girls to get done
talking about your touchy feely nonsense. We can at least make plenty of
sarcastic remarks about that if nothing else.” Toph grinned at Ellie, hoping
she wasn’t too jealous. She seemed to get that way every time Toph made friends
with another girl, something that she noticed in Ty Lee as well. Whenever Azula
talked to someone new that was about their age Ty Lee got the same look in her
eyes that Ellie did. Although Toph couldn’t see that look she could just feel
the breathing pattern and the sped up heartbeat. She knew when Ellie was
unhappy. And Azula could tell the look from experience. Not just from Ty Lee
but from watching the young airbender.
“Well we’re done now. Do you want to go home now Azula?” Ty Lee grinned down at
Azula. She tried not to smirk too much. Their private life was just as it
should be, private.
“Alright. I’m sure I’ll be forced to see you both next week.”
“See you Princess Snobby Pants.”
“See you next time. Although you won’t be seeing much of anything.” Toph
smirked, and Azula smirked back. Ty Lee wasn’t sure if she liked this new
friendship or if it was something she should be weary of. And Ellie felt the
exact same way.
 
~
Everyone thought Ty Lee was a weak person. Not physically, just mentally. They
all saw how she clamored around Azula and did what she wanted. They all thought
that she was just a puppet, just a toy of Azula’s. That really annoyed Azula.
Not because she wanted Ty Lee to just go off and do whatever she felt like. She
thought she would leave her if she did that. She just didn’t like others
thinking they could manipulate Ty Lee. And she didn’t like it because if anyone
knew the relationship between the two girls they would know that Ty Lee did a
lot of manipulating herself. Ty Lee would pout and Azula would give in to her
whims. She would bat her pretty little lashes and Azula would kneel. She would
make her voice have just the tiniest hint of sadness and Azula would come
running. Ty Lee pulled the real strings, and whether she knew it or not she
controlled Azula’s tiniest fluctuation in emotion.
“Ty Lee you know how much I hate playing with dolls. I don’t know why that old
man keeps sending them to me.” Azula looked at the new doll and thought about
burning it. She wished that her Uncle didn’t assume she would be girly like her
mother and sister. She wasn’t that kind of girl and she never would be. But she
looked at the way Ty Lee eyed the doll with want. Ty Lee had enough dolls. But
most of them were destroyed by her sisters. Even though they were all older
they still either took her things or destroyed them. And she wasn’t babied for
being the youngest like Maddie was. Ty Lee had taken a few dolls from Azula but
she had never had to ask for them. Azula always just handed them to her. And Ty
Lee hid them away from her sisters and only took them out whenever she went to
play with Azula.
Azula really wanted to burn the doll. She couldn’t see what Ty Lee would like
about such a silly thing. The doll was dressed like someone from the Earth
Kingdom, just like the other one she had burned in front of her mother. It
didn’t look quite like the other one, but dolls still held no appeal to the
young Princess. She didn’t even like playing with them when Ty Lee was around
although she was often roped into it. She didn’t mind watching Ty Lee play with
the dolls, although for whatever reason she almost always played house with
them. And she always had two girls getting married for some reason Azula
couldn’t fathom.
She couldn’t stand the pleading look on Ty Lee’s face. Don’t burn the doll
Azula, you should just give it to me instead. You can always get another one to
burn, just not that one. Please Azula, if you love me you won’t burn the doll.
Azula if you love me you’ll just give it to me. You know you want to. If you
don’t stop, I will keep making this face at you. I’ll be secretly upset with
you for more than just the rest of the day Azula.
“Here.” She threw the doll at Ty Lee, which she skillfully caught. Ty Lee gave
the biggest smile Azula had ever seen. Azula hid her blush as Ty Lee introduced
the new doll to her other dolls. She couldn’t help but get an odd satisfaction
from making that girl happy. It was different than when she tortured Mai or
Zuko through her normal tactics and she felt pleasure. It was better when she
made Ty Lee happy. She felt happy herself, as though she had become more
accomplished and appreciated than when she learned new firebending moves. She
felt something completely different, something she couldn’t describe.
The young Princess loathed sending mail to her Uncle. But her mother insisted
because she needed to spend more time on her handwriting apparently. She didn’t
like her mother’s insinuation that her handwriting wasn’t up to par. She
couldn’t think of anything to send her fuddy-duddy uncle. She thought about
telling him to not send her any more dolls. But then she saw her friends
excited face and changed her mind. She slowly wrote about how much she had
loved the doll and how she wouldn’t mind if the doll had another friend, as the
doll was very lonely. She didn’t know why that silly little smile made her feel
warm inside, but she knew for whatever reason she wouldn’t mind seeing it more
than once. And if talking to her Uncle and sucking up to him would get her some
more of that, she would always suck in her pride. Because Ty Lee always knew
how to manipulate her, whether she realized it or not.
 
~
“So what did you guys talk about in there?” Ty Lee looked nervously at Azula as
she pulled on the tea server uniform. She looked as though she was assessing Ty
Lee, trying to read her movements and actions. She was curious, mostly because
Ty Lee hadn’t babbled on and on about it.
“It’s supposed to be confidential Azula.” Ty Lee smiled as she watched Azula’s
brow twitch. She didn’t like that answer. And Ty Lee knew she wouldn’t like it.
But she was tired of Azula getting what she wanted. She wanted to get what she
wanted for a change, and talking about feelings was something she wanted to do
eventually. Even if Azula wouldn’t go for it she didn’t really care. Today if
nothing else was going to be about what she wanted, what she needed.
“Well fine then.” Azula turned and shoved her foot into one of her shoes
angrily. She didn’t like when Ty Lee was defiant. She liked when she got the
response she wanted. Although Azula figured they had probably been talking
about her. Ty Lee hated talking about her childhood, and she had been
neglecting her friends lately. She didn’t like to talk about herself and she
loved to talk about feelings. And Ty Lee loved labels. She wanted to put a name
to what they were. She had always been that way, except when it had come to
men. Azula knew that particular fact gave her comfort, that she really must be
important. But she didn’t like talking about feelings because there was very
little for her to say. She wouldn’t admit any feelings for the acrobat no
matter how much she pouted.
“I did find out something interesting about Ellie though.” Ty Lee knew that
Azula probably already knew or was at least suspicious. Anyone could tell that
Ellie had some kind of odd feelings for Toph except for the young earthbender
herself. How they lived together without it ever coming out in the open was
beyond Ty Lee. But she figured at least a small tad of gossip would at least
improve Azula’s scowling. Azula raised her brow to Ty Lee, but knew she
couldn’t give her any information about the girl than she already knew. But she
did like to indulge every once in awhile. She didn’t like to disappoint Ty Lee,
although it was hard to truly disappoint the girl.
“Oh?” Ty Lee smiled. Just as she expected.
“She seems to have quite the crush on your new friend. I was meaning to ask
what you two talked about anyways. You seemed to really take to each other.”
“Don’t be jealous Ty. We just have a lot in common, being extraordinary
benders. And we also have very similar family lives. Although I didn’t know she
was nobility, which makes our lives even more similar. We’re just very alike in
disposition.” Azula smiled. She hadn’t minded complaining about her family to
the girl, who had just as much pressure as a child. Except she had to pretend
to be meek and innocent. High expectations. Azula could relate. And her brash
and sarcastic nature made her an obvious choice of friend. She almost made her
think of Mai, but she always stopped herself. She didn’t miss that traitor.
“I’m just glad you made a friend! You were always so bad at making friends.”
“Well excuse me for not crusading for friends when I can just have followers.
And besides I didn’t really need more than two. A small elite team is good
enough for me.” Ty Lee jumped up and kissed Azula on the cheek as she started
for the door.
“Whatever you say Zula. Have a nice day at work.” Azula rolled her eyes and
made her way out. She didn’t miss that traitor. She could have different
friends. She wasn’t completely hopeless in that department, despite what
everyone else seemed to think. She had just never needed more friends than Mai
or Ty Lee. Ty Lee had been her entertainment, her crush, her first love. Her
support, the person who made her feel good. Mai had been different. Mai had
been the one she shared all her laughter and vicious qualities with. She had
been different around the traitor. She had teased her for having feelings for
her brother, but she never really meant it. Mai had been different, and she was
sad that she was gone. Not that she’d ever admit it.
Mai was the reason for all of her suffering. If it hadn’t been for Mai, Ty Lee
never would have betrayed her. She was able to handle Mai’s betrayal, she knew
that it would come at one point or another. They were too much alike. But Ty
Lee had destroyed her. And it was Mai’s fault. Mai was the reason she wasn’t in
the palace. She was the reason Ty Lee’s braid wasn’t tangled in the elaborate
bedframe. She was the reason that Azula wasn’t sitting on the throne as Fire
Lord with Ty Lee and her sister by her side. Mai, one of her best friends had
betrayed her. And it wasn’t like when Ty Lee had betrayed her. She had actually
thought Mai liked her. She hadn’t thought she would leave. But she did.
 
~
“You know you should have just told me.” Mai sat at the back of the cell,
looking at Azula through it. Azula for once in her life looked nervous. She
didn’t know why she was talking to this traitor. Maybe, maybe Azula cared about
someone other than herself. Maybe she was trying her hardest to cling to any
sanity she had. Maybe she clung to the hope that Mai would say she had been
wrong, that choosing Zuko was a mistake. That their friendship meant more to
her than actual love. It wasn’t like they were really in love. They just didn’t
hate each other. And Azula didn’t like how her brother treated her friend.
Leaving without a word to her face, not even giving her the chance to go with
him. Being a jealous, angry psycho. She had tried to tell Mai in the nicest way
possible that they weren’t good together. She had tried on the beach to tell
her that first love wasn’t the only love. That’s why they called it first love.
But she couldn’t really say anything because she was still with her first love,
without being with her. She didn’t like how her brother treated her like she
was emotionless. She knew he was just with her because she was pretty. He
didn’t really appreciate her.
“I shouldn’t have told you anything. I still can’t believe I told you. You’re
such a pathetic traitor. I can’t believe you’re still the one I come running to
when I have problems,” Azula grounded out. It had taken every ounce of her
being to push down her pride and hurt enough to come see her.
“I already knew you idiot.” Mai looked at her forlorn friend with some
sympathy. It had been so difficult for her to choose Zuko over Azula. Not that
she’d tell her. Azula had been her friend for a long time. Longer than anyone
else. Azula was the one she laughed with, gossipped with, got nails done with.
The only person she had ever invited to sleep over. They had laughed the whole
night and her mother couldn’t yell at her because she was with the Princess.
And Mai could finally feel whatever she wanted to feel and express it. But that
didn’t last long, because her mother told her how improper it was to run around
with the Princess and that she should be ladylike. She had been the worst woman
Mai had ever known and she looked forward to being with Azula as much as
possible.
“It doesn’t matter now anyways.” Azula looked down. She didn’t know why she
decided to talk about feelings. They weren’t something she liked to talk about.
But the only person she was ever willingly vulnerable in front of was Mai. Ty
Lee was always on accident. But she could always tell anything to Mai. She had
kept her love affair a secret but she had always felt guilty. She had always
told the other girl everything, even about her family problems. Mai knew
everything about her. She had wondered why Mai had never suspected. But she
had.
“Look, I’m always going to think she’s too good for you. She is sunshiny and
loving and you are a dark, cynical, broken girl. You don’t deserve someone like
her Azula. But you need to tell her that you love her.”
“What do you know? I don’t even know why I decided to talk to you! You don’t
know what love is! You have a silly crush on Zuzu and you betray your best
friend! You don’t know how to show your emotions anymore than I do! And maybe I
don’t deserve her. How could anyone? She is perfect. She’s all that’s good in
this world. She never asks anyone for anything. All she does is give and give.
I was stupid to think that she could ever actually have feelings for someone
like me.” Mai’s brows crept together in sadness. She didn’t know if Ty Lee felt
anything back. She couldn’t say. But seeing Azula’s heart broken was something
she never thought she would see. And it hurt her, something she didn’t quite
understand. She had been so angry for so long, angry for Azula manipulating
her, just like her mother did. But now she saw her friend breaking and she
wished with all her heart that she hadn’t done what she did. Zuko didn’t need
her like Azula had.
“You’re right about one thing Azula. I don’t know much about love. I don’t know
how or why it works the way it does. I don’t know why you feel the way you do,
or if what I feel for Zuko is even love. I don’t know the answers. But I think
that if you told her and she said it back you would feel compelled to free her.
And you would be left wide open for her to hurt you again. I know you Azula.
That is what I do know. And even if you don’t deserve her, you deserve to be
happy.”
“Don’t you dare patronize me!!”
 
~
Azula felt tired. She didn’t normally, but the day had been long. She was tired
of all the monotony. She was tired of the mundane. She didn’t mind going to
“therapy” every Tuesday morning. It got her out of work. She didn’t mind
visiting her sister. She didn’t mind picking Ty Lee up from the circus. She
didn’t mind Ty Lee visiting her at work. She didn’t mind pulling Ty Lee into
anywhere that was private. She did mind doing the same thing everyday. She did
mind her Uncle trying to pretend her cared about what happened to her.
Although, everyone acted like that. She didn’t like the long walk home with the
old man who kept trying to be pleasant. She hated coming up with new insults or
retorts. She didn’t understand how Zuko had taken his nonsense over all the
years.
She sighed as he rattled around looking for his keys again. She wished he would
just give them to her. He was always on her nerves no matter what he did. As a
child she hadn’t minded him as much, but it was mostly because she rarely saw
her warlord Uncle. She was tired of his philosophical nonsense and all of his
idealized bullshit. She knew that the world was a cruel, and often ironic
place. She didn’t need all of the lovey dovey Avatar nonsense to be shoved down
her throat anymore than it already was. She smiled as he walked through the
door finally and looked at the table. Ty Lee looked slightly nervous, and Azula
didn’t notice the other person at first. Then her eyes collided with a set of
light honey colored eyes and she scowled. She felt all of her anger swell up
inside her.
“Azula, Uncle we got a surprise visitor.” Ty Lee looked at Azula nervously.
“Hello Azula.”
“Hello Mai.”
***** Chapter 18 *****
Azula felt all of the pressure pooling in her temples. She noticed the look Mai
was giving her back, a slightly less angry face. She noted a small hint of pity
in her eyes which made Azula sick. She could feel all of her anger that she had
buried resurface as she looked at the other girl. Her Uncle put his hand on her
shoulder but she jerked away. Ty Lee saw the way her face contorted in rage, as
though she was about to lose it. Azula was grinding her teeth in an attempt to
control herself. But she thought of all the hallucinations and dreams where she
had seen Mai and Ty Lee together, laughing at her. They always ended in amorous
embraces, driving Azula past her breaking point. At least when she had thought
about Ty Lee with men she could accept that they possessed something she did
not and that they could give Ty Lee children. Her mind started to become a blur
for a moment, wondering what had happened. She couldn’t remember the beginning
of her sentencing so she couldn’t remember if it was an actual event or her
fantasy.
“Azula why don’t you sit down. I’ll start getting dinner ready. You’ve worked
long and hard today, you deserve a rest.” Her Uncle looked at at her with
sympathy too and she couldn’t stand it. Ty Lee’s nervousness was obvious. She
kept looking back and forth at her two friends like she had at the Boiling
Rock. She wanted nothing more than to be out of the situation she was in. She
had hoped that if her friend had ever decided to visit, she would at least
write. Or decide to stay the night in the palace instead of insisting upon
staying the night. She hadn’t thought she would just show up on a whim. Mai
wasn’t normally one for doing things like that.
Mai had come for several reasons. The first and foremost was to get away from
Zuko for a bit. As much as she loved him, he could become completely
insufferable at times and she desperately needed to get away from him to
remember why she appreciated him. She also wanted to catch up with Ty Lee, as
she hadn’t written her in an odd amount of time. She had never been a constant
correspondent, but she always replied eventually. She wanted to check on Maddie
and make sure everything was going well, because Zuko never believed her
letters. And she wanted to see Azula. She had been more than hesitant in seeing
her old friend face to face without bars between them. But she knew she would
have to sooner or later. And she had gotten the reaction she had expected.
Azula calmly sat down in her regal fashion. She sat at the farthest end away
from Mai, looking at her and Ty Lee sitting next to one another. She assessed
the situation silently in her head. As much as she would have liked to, killing
the girl was not an option. She knew she would have to go back to prison for
good, or Zuzu would lose his temper and execute her. She knew she would
probably do the only thing she could do and shoot angry barbs her way,
including Ty Lee in the range of her anger but she almost felt as though Mai
was too lowly to deserve a response. And as much as she didn’t want to admit
it, she didn’t like to hurt Ty Lee. She truly wanted to get Mai as far away as
possible but she truly didn’t want to apologize in front of her either. And Ty
Lee always made her in one form or another.
Ty Lee didn’t like the silence. She felt there was too much thinking, too much
hatred in the air. She remembered when Mai and Azula had gotten along so well.
She remembered them laughing and gossipping. She remembered Mai teaching Azula
to throw knives with her. She didn’t want them to be angry with each other
forever, just because of some boy. Ty Lee thought it was rather silly,
especially since Zuko wasn’t anything special. Not that she would ever say that
to Mai. She also didn’t know how much Azula wanted her to say about their
relationship. She knew she wasn’t comfortable with it, but Ty Lee couldn’t see
any reason not to tell their friend other than Azula’s anger. She knew Mai
would disapprove. But she honestly didn’t care. She wasn’t going to hide
herself from her friend just because Mai didn’t approve. Mai hadn’t bothered to
hide her relationship with Zuko, although Azula had clearly disapproved. Ty Lee
couldn’t think of a single reason to keep their relationship from Mai.
“So..... how have you been Mai?” Ty Lee asked hesitantly, trying to keep her
nerves in check. She knew from Mai’s last letter that she was still living in
her parent’s house, but that was a short walk to the palace. Living in the
palace was out of the question, what with the nobilities need for decorum. If
she had moved in the whole nation would have been buzzing with the scandal of
it, even if she lived in a completely different wing of the palace. She knew
that Mai was with Zuko nearly everyday, but she always went home for the
evening as far as she knew.
“Pretty much the same as the last time you had the decency to write me back,”
Mai drawled. Her eyes were still mostly fixed on Azula. And Azula hadn’t taken
her eyes off of her ex-friend. She smirked suddenly. She was going to challenge
Ty Lee. For whatever reason she was feeling devious. She knew that Ty Lee
wouldn’t know what to do. She was torn between telling Mai, which could result
in Azula’s wrath, and keeping her mouth shut. She wanted to see how much
amusement she could get out of this horrible situation.
“Well Ty Lee has been rather busy lately,” Azula said raising on brow. Ty Lee’s
flesh turned a bright red and her eyes darted between her two friends. She
didn’t know how to cover up the intimate implications and Mai looked at Ty Lee
questioningly.
“Y-yeah! What with the circus and all. Plus I’ve been trying to make sure Azula
is comfortable. You know with her new job, visiting the palace, and therapy
with Ellie and all. And helping Iroh with the chores here and there. It’s been
very busy with all that around here!”
“Well I’m glad to hear you’re busy. I’m actually glad to get away from my own
business. The court never rests with all of the prosecutions still going on and
all of the official business Zuko has to do. But I’m really glad to get away
from all of that political boredom.” Azula raised her brow. She had always
thought that Mai wasn’t cut out to marry a politician. She had never liked her
fascination with Zuko, but she wondered why she tolerated a life she hated for
him. Everything bored her for the most part that was true, but Mai had always
expressed her deep hatred for politics. She thought nothing was more boring
than being a politicians daughter, and Azula couldn’t see her marrying one of
the largest political players on the world stage at the moment. She couldn’t
see Mai being happy with Zuko for very long.
“Yes how is Zuzu doing? I’m sure the weight of his crown is crushing him
already.” Azula looked down at her nails in a bored manner. She knew Zuko was
horrible with all of the formality, and even worse at keeping his temper in
check. She couldn’t see him doing well. Although it had been two years since he
had taken the thrown, she knew the situation wasn’t getting much better. She
had heard all of the politics repeated from her sister, who didn’t really have
any interest. She just had very little else to talk to her older sister about
while she had been in that cell.
“He admits on a weekly basis that you would have been much better at it than he
is,” Mai replied dryly. Azula hadn’t expected Mai to admit something like that
to her. Zuko admitting that she was better than he was at everything wasn’t
anything new. He had been doing that since he was a child. Mai didn’t normally
like to point out any faults that her beloved might have, and she was even less
keen on discussing them with his sister. Well, his “crazy” sister.
“Well of course I would have been. After all I am a people person. Aren’t I Ty
Lee?” She smirked at her lover from across the table. Ty Lee smiled shyly and
nodded in response.
“Well of course you would have been great at it Azula. You’re so good at
problem solving. You always have been. Like when you took down Ba Sing Se, or
when we were chasing the Avatar. You were always amazing at things like that
Azula. I bet if you put your mind to fixing the bond between the nations, it
would be better in a matter of weeks.” Ty Lee admiration for her love was
apparent. Anyone with eyes could see that she had a crush since she was very
young. Mai looked at Ty Lee wondering if she was right. Azula knew how to get
what she wanted. And she no longer looked crazy. If they could figure out a way
to make their goals her goals, they would be on their way to restoring all of
the balance that had been lost. Mai knew it, and she was sure that Zuko knew
it. But Azula wouldn’t agree with them no matter what they did.
“You don’t have to state the obvious Ty Lee. Although it might take a little
longer than that. What Zuzu doesn’t realize is that you can’t fix a hundred
years of damage in two years. And you certainly can’t do it by just giving in
to the other nations left and right. Then you will have assassination attempts
from your own people. And you can’t just give all of that territory back to the
Earth Kingdom. Fire Nation people live there. They will try and start a
revolution of their own. And we can’t forget that we obliterated the Air
Nomads. That’s not something that we can just restore.” Azula looked off
thoughtfully. If she actually wanted to participate in all of the new politics
of the side of “good” she would have to strategize like she had never
strategized before. She didn’t think there was a way for everyone to be happy
with the outcome, but she hadn’t really thought that long about it. She
couldn’t see anything to be gained from helping her brother. She still had her
title. She was free to go where she pleased, although she was watched. And once
a week she still got the royal treatment. And Ty Lee gave her the royal
treatment every day. She didn’t really have too much to complain about. And the
last thing she wanted was to live with Zuko.
Mai didn’t say that there had been a few attempts on Zuko’s life already. From
people of the Fire Nation. She wasn’t going to say that Azula was right about
all of her assumptions. The Fire Nation wasn’t happy with all of the war
concessions. The colonies were very upset, threatening to make their own
nation. Some of them had been there for almost the whole hundred years. But the
other nations were demanding much more than Zuko could give. Aang was trying to
help, but Azula knew what she was talking about. And Mai hated to admit that
they could actually use her help.
“Yeah that is a lot of horrible stuff...” Ty Lee looked down. She hated
politics almost as much as Mai did. She knew that it was part of what Azula was
good at, but she hated to think that the world was in so much turmoil. It made
her aura darker and she didn’t like that one bit. She knew that the most
logical person to help fix it was Azula, she was so smart it was stupid to not
enlist her. But she knew she would have to follow her wherever she went, and
she really didn’t want to be in the middle of it. She liked their new found
quiet life with Iroh, as much as she was sure Azula wanted her old glory. She
didn’t want to go back to the Fire Nation yet. She wasn’t even sure if she ever
wanted to. She would if Azula wanted it, but there wasn’t anything there left
for her. She had no interest in making amends with her family and as much as
she loved Mai she didn’t want to visit all that often. Too many memories in one
confined space. She enjoyed her freedom the way it was. No more nobility or
royalty. She didn’t have to pretend to be a lady ever again. And she loved it.
“You’re looking well Azula. I must say I’m surprised. Although, I shouldn’t
be,” Mai looked at her friend up and down, trying not to be transparent. Not
that she ever was, not even with her former best friend.
 
~
  Azula knew what would have to be done. She knew that her traitorous brother,
who had done exactly as she suspected he would, and the rest of the Avatar’s
friends would be attempting to break the prisoners out of the Boiling Rock. And
Mai’s letter from her Uncle the warden had come quickly enough, alerting her of
her suspicions. She knew that it would happen sooner or later, especially with
all of their hero complexes. She was happy that as always, Zuko was
predictable. She had already made sure that he would exactly as she planned.
She had been manipulating him almost all of their lives. She hadn’t expected
him to get banished, which at first she had thought was wonderful. But whether
she was sad a few days later because she missed abusing him, because he hadn’t
done what she wanted, or because she actually cared she couldn’t say. She felt
as though it may have been a mix of all three.
She sat next to Mai as Ty Lee looked anxiously out the window. Ty Lee couldn’t
sit still to save her life, something that always slightly annoyed Azula. Mai
was looking out the window and Azula could read her friend like a book. She had
talked to her before about confronting Zuko. She had been upset by her ass of a
brother breaking up with her. Azula had never seen her genuinely upset. And
instead of going to Ty Lee, who would have been more sympathetic, she went to
Azula. She came, trying to hold in her tears with the letter to Azula. That was
something she was only used to seeing from Ty Lee. She had no idea that Mai
could, did trust her. She had tried her best to be comforting, but she was
mostly just her normal tactical self. She proposed ways that she could release
some of her anger and hurt, and she also came up with scenarios in which Mai
could confront Zuko. And she sat quietly as Mai cried on her shoulder. She
confirmed that Zuko was indeed a total douche, and that Mai deserved better.
And she meant it. Mai deserved better.
She had arranged for Mai to be allowed to confront him before she took him back
to their father for judgement. She already knew her father had had more than
enough of him, and banishment wasn’t going to be an option. Death would be the
only thing to await him. Life imprisonment wouldn’t be enough for their father
this time. He wanted blood. And he would have it all over the throne room
floor. She knew that her sister would have to be hidden, something not easily
arranged. But she knew that it was important for Mai to get her anger out
before he was no more. She felt a little twinge of guilt, because she knew she
would not bother defending him. Her little sister would plead and beg, but it
would fall on deaf ears. And she knew it.
“I arranged a meeting for you with your Uncle’s permission.” Azula looked at Ty
Lee looking out every window, trying to get the views from every angle. Mai
looked over at her friend and gave a tiny smile. Even tinier than her normal
smiles. Azula couldn’t tell if she was angry or sad. She knew this is what she
had wanted, and she had gone out of her way to make sure it would happen.
“Thank you Azula. I don’t normally say things like this, but you don’t know how
much this means to me.”
“I do. That’s why I went out of my way for this. If my jerk brother is going to
break up with one of my best friends over a letter, she better have an
opportunity to stab him with some knives before my father burns him to a
crisp.”
“Do you really think he’ll go that far Zula? Won’t he just throw him in
prison?”
“He’s already in prison. That won’t be enough this time. He attacked my father.
Well, in self defense but my father has never really seemed to care about
reasoning before.” She watched Mai’s face for any flicker of emotion. But her
eyes remained angry.
“Good. That traitorous jerk deserves what’s coming to him.” Azula knew she
didn’t mean it. She was as in love with her brother as she could be with
anyone. She had never seen her so broken. She picked herself up quickly, but
that’s because Mai was like that. She never needed anyone. She could take care
of herself and she didn’t need a man to be somewhat happy.
Mai, Ty Lee, and Azula stepped into the prison unescorted for the time being.
Her soldiers were near the entrance, just in case anything went wrong. But
Zuko, and his new little friends wouldn’t be expecting a connection within the
prison. After all, Mai and her uncle looked nothing alike. And it wasn’t usual
for a politician’s relatives to be in the prison business. Not that Zuko would
think that far ahead to ask Mai about her family. Azula knew he was a terrible
boyfriend. She had known he would be since she came out of the womb. He was
completely lost in any kind of social situation. And he was horrible about
considering other people's feelings. That's why he had convinced their uncle to
search the earth with him when the old man would much rather be drinking tea.
"Are you sure you're okay with me talking to him? You might need me."
"Ty Lee and I can manage on our own. Besides, you need to do this."
"You know I sometimes think you're a shitty friend. But you're always there
when I need you most."
"Take all the time you need." Azula smiled. Mai nodded and walked away slowly.
As
soon as she was out of sight Ty Lee kissed Azula. Azula looked down, startled.
“It was so nice of you to do this for Mai. You really are a great friend!”
Azula smiled down at her closest friend. She had no idea that her small
kindness would be taken for granted.
 
~
Azula stared up at the ceiling in her bed. She had been staring at it for the
better part of the night. Ty Lee had opted to sleep in her own room with Mai.
Azula hadn’t realized how dependent her sleeping was on that warm girl sleeping
next to her. And she felt in an odd way she had been sent to bed without
dinner. They never missed a night when they were home together. And when they
were apart they dreamed about having sex with each other. It was so natural
with them. They craved each other. She didn’t crave her as much tonight. She
would have given anything to just have her next to her, her legs intertwined
like they normally were when the slept together. She wouldn’t mind her hand in
her hair. The smell of her in the bed, intermingling with her own. Her hair
fanned out on the pillow. She hated to admit that she was so attached. So
vulnerable. She didn’t want to admit it, but she was in love with Ty Lee. She
always had been. But she wasn’t ever going to admit it. There was nothing to be
gained from it. And she didn’t want to lose anything. If she told her, she
could lose her. And Azula didn’t lose, especially not if she could help it.
Azula sat up as she heard her door sliding open. Ty Lee quickly slid it shut.
She had snuck out after Mai was safely asleep. Azula didn’t look happy at all.
She looked as though she could have killed her on the spot and Ty Lee didn’t
like that. It was nearly two in the morning. Azula was furious that they had
been up so late laughing and catching up. Of course Ty Lee had invited her, but
she had no interest in spending more time with her ex-friend than was required.
She felt incredibly tired and didn’t want to think about getting up early to
open the tea shop with her Uncle.
“Azula, I’m so sorry. I didn’t invite her I swear! And she didn’t tell me she
was coming, I’m so sorry that you had to deal with that. What kind of person
am-”
“Ty Lee please be silent. Just get in this bed. I would really like to sleep
sometime tonight.” Ty Lee smiled at Azula and jumped into the bed excitedly.
She curled up next to Azula and Azula sighed in relief. And she realized when
she rose the next morning that she had never had a more peaceful sleep in her
life.
***** Chapter 19 *****
"Ty you need to get up." Ty Lee made a pained noise in her sleep. Azula
groaned. She had no idea what time Ty Lee was supposed to be at the circus but
she was always up before now. She almost regretted their rendez-vous at five in
the morning. Almost but not quite. The way she had bent her leg back still made
her shudder. She ignored her once again ignited desires as she slowly shook Ty
Lee, trying her best to be gentle. Her eyes slowly fluttered open and she
smiled up at her.
"You're always awake before now. You'll be late." Ty Lee nearly jumped out of
her skin when she saw the clock.
"Oh no!" She sprinted to her room to get changed. Azula smirked as she watched
her panic. Almost as quickly as she left the room Ty Lee ran back in and kissed
her quickly, and then ran out the door. Azula grinned mischievously as she
slowly pulled her own clothes on. She knew she was probably going to be late,
the first time in history. But she didn’t really care about her fuddy-duddy
uncle’s opinion of her. Although she liked to be perfect, she wasn’t sure which
was more important. She wasn’t looking forward to seeing Mai this morning, if
she was going to see her at all. She could imagine the staredown, and possible
showdown if they were left unsupervised. She still felt the lust to kill her in
her veins, lighting her inner rage once again. Knowing that the throne had been
ripped from underneath her. That her sanity had been stripped. That Ty Lee had
been taken captive by the knife wielding temptress that had somehow ensnared
her overly emotional brother. Although he did have to possess some kind of
control and she embodied it.
Azula exchanged the dreaded glance before she walked out the door. But it had
been a more dreaded look. Mai held sorrow in her stare, as though she regretted
everything she had done. Like she actually missed her. All of the late nights
where they laughed about some silly political thing, some annoying rule that
they both hated, every mean joke played, every shared lunch, every extra hair
tie, every short embrace, every teasing remark about Mai’s crush on her
brother, every meaningful word and glance reflected in the older girls eyes.
Azula knew she was sorry. She doubted she would ever say it out loud, but she
knew that she was. And Azula wished it was easier for her to hate, to remain
angry. And when both of them had been friends, it had been so much easier for
her. But her anger was slipping away. She still managed to glare as she walked
out the door, trying to forget that traitorous childhood friend she had left in
her new residence.
She wished that the short walk had not been filled with such confusing
emotions. All of the time she had spent with Mai was flashing through her mind.
Every meaningless giggle, every heartfelt moment. She wished that she could
forget them all. She wished she could hold onto her anger towards Mai, the same
way she did towards her mother. But she found it was more difficult the more
time she thought about it. Mai had been closer to her in some ways than Ty Lee
could ever be. The bond they had shared, no matter how twisted it could be at
times, was still one of the most important she had ever had in her life. She
had a lack of family love, something Zuko didn’t have. But she had friends. She
couldn’t remember Zuko having a friend all through school. He never brought
anyone home, never spent time at anyone’s house. She had made up for the lack
of love she had from their mother and uncle through her two friends, the two
she thought would never leave. Ty Lee and Mai, the two complete opposites. Ty
Lee was her breath of fresh air, her angel. The best thing in this world, the
most sunshine. Her sunshine. And her best friend, Mai. The gloomy girl who
sighed a lot, the girl who would laugh and understand Azula better than anyone.
She was the one who saw Azula as her equal. At least, Azula had thought they
had that kind of understanding. Everything had changed after Mai moved to the
Earth Kingdom. They were never the same. And Azula had never bothered to ask
why.
Azula started to throw herself into her work to try and escape it. She wanted
to let go for the first time in her life. She wanted to let go of all of her
family and childhood ties and just be alone. Just be free of all of the
annoying problems between her and everyone. She just wanted to be on an island
where she didn’t know anyone, and where no one knew who she was. She didn’t
want to be connected to her parents, ancestors, Mai, hell, even Ty Lee. She
just wanted to walk around for a day not worrying about what other people
thought about her, and more importantly what she thought about everyone else.
But she knew that it was silly to hope for another day like Ember Island. Where
no one knew who she was. She was just a normal teenager. She wasn’t feared. Or
hated. And no one knew all the horrible things she had done so she wouldn’t end
up like Zuko. So she wouldn’t end up like her mother.
“Azula, your Uncle wants to speak to you in the back.” She noticed the way the
other server was trembling. Like she had snapped at her or something. She might
have earlier in the week or month, she couldn’t remember anymore. She wasn’t
good at playing nice. She did what she had to do to survive, but then again,
who didn’t? She pushed passed the terrified girl and made her way back to the
kitchen. She looked at her jolly Uncle with disdain. He was smiling a little
too much and she didn’t like it.
“I must have forgotten to tell you last night Azula, with Mai surprising us
like that. You’re not working out there anymore. I’m promoting you to assistant
manager! Isn’t that exciting?!” Azula smiled a little bit. She didn’t know why
she liked her talents recognized so much. She listened as her Uncle showed her
what she was supposed to do, and then went about her business making everything
more efficient like she normally did. He always seemed so amazed by her
abilities, although she thought that he should be used to it by now. He had
lived almost an entire lifetime knowing her father, and everyone said she was
the spitting image of him. Except that they all expected her to be better than
he was. Although it was much too late now and she knew it.
Ty Lee pranced into the tea house with Mai at four. She was a little worse for
wear, because she was being forced to train new acrobats. It was that time of
year again, since it got too cold during the winter to perform as many shows.
She didn’t mind all of the eager young faces, but it wore on her more easily.
She wasn’t great at leading like Azula was. Mai looked around with Ty Lee for
Azula, dreading actually seeing her, especially after that morning. She had
almost lost her mask, and she didn’t want to take it off just yet. That wasn’t
what she came to do. She hadn’t come to make up with Azula and have some kind
of teary confessions. She had come to get away from Zuko and see Ty Lee. Wasn’t
that the reason? She wasn’t sure anymore. A server approached them and Ty Lee
looked at her confused. Azula was never late.
“Mai, you did say you saw Azula leave for work this morning right?”
“Yeah I saw her leave in the uniform,” Mai said dryly. Mai wouldn’t have put it
past Azula to completely skip work and come up with some kind of elaborate plan
to take over the Fire Nation again. But she had seemed like she wasn’t exactly
planning anything. Not that it was easy to tell when she was.
“Is there anyway you can see if Azula is going to go on her break? She normally
does this time of day and I was counting on it,” Ty Lee asked sadly. She liked
her Azula time and didn’t like to be cheated out of it, especially on a work
day. The employee looked incredibly hesitant, but nodded nonetheless. She
disappeared towards the back and Mai watched her carefully. Even the others
were afraid of her, and they didn’t even seem to realize just who she was.
Although they might have by now. Most people knew that Azula was someone to be
feared just by the way she stood. Azula emerged without an apron on and smiled
at Ty Lee. She exchanged a glance with Mai before sitting down.
“I know I’m late Ty. I just lost track of time.” Azula didn’t apologize,
because her uncle clearly had no experience or knowledge when it came to
running a business. It had taken her nearly all day to just undo the damage he
had done in a few years.
“What were you doing back there Zula? You’re almost never back there.”
“Oh, I got promoted.” Azula said it as if it meant nothing. She had been
slightly excited and pleased by the attention she was getting from their Uncle
that Zuko wouldn’t be getting anymore. She did love taking things from Zuko. Ty
Lee’s face lit up as soon as she heard the news. She knew that Azula had
thought that Iroh disapproved of her for almost her entire life, and Ty Lee had
always said that there was no way that he could disapprove of her. And now she
knew that it was true. Azula’s talents were just too amazing to ignore, and Ty
Lee knew it was only a matter of time before her family appreciated her in one
form or another.
“Oh yay! I’m happy for you Azula. I know how bored you get here.” Ty Lee smiled
from ear to ear and Mai remained her normal emotionless self.
“I don’t see how she can be so bored. Anything must be better than how it was
before.” Azula scowled at her. Ty Lee didn’t know why Mai felt like she should
start things up again. They had at least seemed to be tolerating each other.
 
~
“Explain to me why you like him again?” Azula still couldn’t fathom why her
friend liked her silly older brother. She had known since they were children,
and the fact that Mai was actually upset that he was leaving confused her.
“I don’t know Azula. I mean, he’s handsome and he’s a Prince and he’s broody
like me. I don’t really even know why I like him. I don’t even know if I do
like him. I don’t know why you think I’m upset over this.” Mai wasn’t all that
upset. She had seen the look on Azula’s face when she talked about it. Like she
was glad. But she saw the slight pain in her eyes. Mai knew she cared. Azula
had gotten Zuko one of the finest ships money could buy with her own saved up
money. She had made sure he had a crew, and had even met with her Uncle to make
sure he was going with Zuko. Most people would think it was because her sister
had asked that kind of favor from Azula. But that hadn’t been it. Maddie hadn’t
asked for a single favor. Azula had done all of it without even talking to Zuko
about it. For all he knew, their father had arranged it. But he knew better,
and she knew better. Their father would never do something like that not even
for her. He had three heirs and all of them were disposable in his opinion.
“He’s an annoying bastard if you ask me. A foolish accident from a night of one
too many shots between the two of our parents.” Azula couldn’t believe the
words that came out of her mouth. She knew she was capable of that kind of
venom, but at the same time she still couldn’t believe it. She had done so much
for him. She had tried to warn him about their father killing him, even if it
was in a teasing manner. She tried to get him to realize his obvious feelings
for Mai. She tried to tell him that mom was gone and never coming back, but he
didn’t believe her. She had made sure he would set sail with only the finest,
knowing that he would never acknowledge or thank her for it. She had tried,
especially when they were younger, to bond with him. But every time she thought
of him, the painful words came to her mind.
Azula always lies.
Why he thought that was beyond her. She told the truth and it was often too
much for him to handle. That father didn’t love him, not even a little. But in
her heart, she knew he didn’t love her either. She didn’t want it to be so, but
she knew he had only ever loved their mother. She told him that Uncle was just
replacing Lu Ten when he was with him. And she was right, he truly was just
trying to replace the son he would never be able to get back. She told him that
Mai really liked him. He told her that she was a liar. But she really thought
that she did. She told him that if he practiced his basic forms more, he would
be a much better Firebender and father would take notice. And it was true, his
forms were very sloppy. She told him that if he just came to peace with things,
someday he would be able to use lightning. And she truly believed that he would
be able to someday. Azula rarely ever lied. Only when there were no other
options.
 
~
“Azula,” Mai hesitated as she looked down at her. Azula was sitting outside on
the back porch of the house while Ty Lee and her Uncle worked on the dishes.
Mai rarely ever hesitated, rarely ever faltered. But something about Azula made
her cringe. Like Azula could see straight to her very soul and see her deepest
darkest secrets.
“Mai.” Mai slowly sat down next to Azula. Azula didn’t look over, didn’t even
seem to notice she existed. She mostly just annoyed her. But part of her missed
her old friend so she didn’t move to get up or say anything.
“I’m leaving tomorrow morning. I will be going to the palace to visit your
sister for a day and then returning to the Fire Nation.”
“I’m sure Ty Lee will miss you.” Azula didn’t look over. She didn’t want to
bother. She knew Mai was trying to play nice for Ty Lee and Zuko, not because
she actually wanted to. Or maybe she actually wanted something, like for Azula
to work towards peace. Azula wasn’t going to give anything to Mai. As much as
she sometimes missed her, she wasn’t going to give in. She didn’t have a real
reason to have betrayed her other than being a lovesick puppy, following her
master around eagerly. And Azula had no time for that. She hadn’t even acted
that way when Azula had been her leader. And it bothered her that Zuko had
something that Azula couldn’t.
“Azula, I think it would be best if we call a truce. Even if it’s only for Ty
Lee.” Azula looked over finally. She could hear Ty Lee laughing in the
background and she knew how happy it would make her if she did at least pretend
to makeup with the knife thrower. She could almost imagine what kind of reward
she would get. And she knew that Elyon would report it as “monumental progress”
and that she was finally “learning to forgive all those who had wronged her”.
And if she really wanted she could play it up and get on a ship to the Fire
Nation to “formally forgive her brother”. An opportunity like this was too good
to pass up. But she mostly knew that Ty Lee would be incredibly pleased. All
angles were a win for her.
“I suppose. Although I don’t know why you would think you would get off that
easily after what you’ve done,” she said firmly. Mai didn’t say anything for
awhile. She looked as if she was contemplating everything before releasing it
from her mouth.
“I regret that decision most of the time.” Azula looked completely dumbfounded
as she watched  her friend try to find the words to continue. She wasn’t a very
vocal person. She wasn’t known for expressing herself.
“I don’t regret it because I don’t particularly like the idea of your father
burning the whole world to the ground. I think that was more than excessive. I
think that if you had been a bit more sane like when we were younger you would
have been the perfect Fire Lord. I think you would know how to handle this
situation much better than Zuko is. But more important than that political
bullshit is that I miss you.” Azula raised her brow in surprise.
“I suppose my father was being excessive. But you still chose Zuzu over me. I
understand you were in love or whatever you want to call that deranged
relationship but we were best friends since we were six,” Azula nearly spat at
her. She didn’t want to think about all of the “good times”.
“That’s the part I regret the most. Most of the time I wonder how I chose Zuko
over you. I thought that he needed me more than you did. I knew you were going
to have that gondola sent into the water. I knew he probably wouldn’t survive.
But you needed me more and I didn’t see it.”
“Yes well true love conquers all I suppose,” she said sarcastically.
“I wasn’t in love with him for a really long time. I started dating him
because-” Azula looked at her friend as she blushed and stammered. It wasn’t
like her at all. Something had to be wrong.
“Because?” Mai sighed and took a large intake of breath.
“For a long time I wanted you. But I saw the way you looked at Ty Lee. I knew
you were in love with her. So I thought-”
“That you could just have the next best thing.” Azula was truly astonished. She
knew that Mai had considered her to be her best friend. But Azula always
thought Mai was the type to go for men.
“Yeah that’s what I thought. And then at some point I actually fell in love
with him. And that’s the only reason I betrayed you.”
“Are you sure you love him?” Mai looked a little sad.
“There are many things I love about him.”
“And that’s enough?” Azula had never known Mai could keep such a large secret
this whole time. She was completely dumbfounded.
“I’ve never been one for emotions. He makes me feel and express more than most
people so I suppose it is enough for me.”
“I’ve always thought you deserved better than him.” Mai smiled and Azula
smirked back.
“So I guess you and Ty are a thing now?”
“Kind of. I’m not publicizing or anything.” Mai nodded. She knew how terrified
Azula must still be, even though her father was gone and could no longer punish
her for being herself.
“Truce?” Azula smiled at her friend.
“Truce.” Azula awkwardly accepted a hug from her old friend. They slowly
started back into the house. That night Ty Lee was surprised that Azula
accompanied the sleepover merriment. She laughed and smiled with Mai just like
she used to, and she actually looked like she was enjoying herself. And at the
end of the night when they were completely exhausted, both girls made a silent
promise to actually attempt to write to one another, and at least try to get
what they once had back.
***** Chapter 20 *****
Azula had hoped that most of the drama would just slowly disappear. That all of
her friends, former and present, and her family would stop looking at her like
she was a freak of nature. In all honesty, she just wanted everyone to leave
her and her new life be. It wasn’t anything grand like she was used to, but she
was happy enough. She was surprised how much she had learned to appreciate
small things in her own life. She considered anything better than living
confined to a cell in the Boiling Rock. She was finally completely off all of
the horrendous medication that she had been forced to take and her mind was
completely clear and calm for the most part. She no longer had any
hallucinations and she was happy enough. The only annoying family member she
had to deal with was her Uncle. And somehow he was slowly becoming more
tolerable. Azula wouldn’t have hesitated to tell everyone how happy she had
been to see Mai leave, making her life go almost back to normal.
Azula could have lit the whole house on fire when she saw the look Ty Lee was
making. She was clutching the letter she was holding with great force. Azula
was hoping that it wasn’t anything that would cause another uproar within their
own little world. She hadn’t enjoyed the week of Ty Lee sneaking into her room
in the dead of night after Mai had fallen asleep. Sometimes she wished that
they could just tell everyone so that she wouldn’t have to give up her comfort
but she knew how dangerous that could still be, even without her father out and
about. Ty Lee kept her eyes fixed on the letter, the wind from the cool air
blowing her braid around. She hadn’t noticed that Azula had stepped out onto
the back porch until she walked forward a few feet.
“Is it from Mai?” Ty Lee looked up with a sad expression on her face. She shook
her head slowly, not knowing what to say. She was rarely at a loss for words.
“It’s from my sister. She wants to see me.” Azula looked down at Ty Lee,
knowing what she meant. How sad Ty must be because she would most likely have
to say no.
“Anna? Your oldest sister right?” Ty Lee nodded. She hadn’t gotten along with
any of her sisters but her eldest. The others had always harassed her and broke
all of her toys. And they all looked almost identical, which didn’t help Ty
Lee’s opinion of them. They were all just part of a matched set, and almost all
of them acted exactly the same. Except for her oldest sister. She was kind and
incredibly loving, although very opinionated. She looked a lot like Ty Lee as
well, but she was always sure to never wear the same color as her other
siblings.
“It doesn’t matter. If I write her back my parents will know where I am. They
go through her mail from time to time and if I tell her where I am, then they
will try and get me to come back. But I really want nothing to do with them.
You know that.” Azula looked at the way her brows drew together in sadness. Ty
Lee hated her family except for the one sister that she couldn’t see. Azula
understood her situation and she felt a twinge of sadness. Part of the reason
she couldn’t tell her sister where she was had to do with her, and she felt
horrible about it.
“When was the last time you saw her?”
“Right before the Boiling Rock at the palace.” Two years. It had been nearly
two years since she had last seen her sister. Azula remembered that she had
allowed that meeting to happen, requesting her presence so that Ty Lee could
see her. She had even sent Ty’s parents a letter stating that Ty Lee was
serving under her and could under no circumstances go home until the war was
over. They had heartily agreed, and had not asked to see her. But as soon as
the war was over they had tried to locate her. She had felt so free when she
ran to Kyoshi Island with Suki, although she regretted leaving Azula in such
horrible hands.
“What if I have my sister write to her? Your parents can’t say no if her
presence is requested by the Princess of the Fire Nation and a Prince of the
Earth Kingdom. I’m sure they would actually be delighted to send her.” Ty Lee
excitedly tackled Azula to the deck.
“Oh really Zula? That would mean so much to me! I’ll go ask your Uncle if she
can stay!” Ty Lee bounded into the house and Azula slowly sat up. She was glad
Ty Lee was so excited, but she thought she had successfully avoided all of the
family nonsense. And she really didn’t need more family drama than necessary.
She knew her sister would have no problem inviting the nobleman’s oldest
daughter, but somehow no matter how unrelated, things always went back to being
about her. She didn’t know why she attracted so much drama. It was probably
some kind of punishment for all of the drama she started at the academy.
“She can stay, she can stay!” Ty Lee exclaimed excitedly. Azula smirked up at
her. She could never feel too upset about annoying family matters when Ty Lee
gave her that huge, grateful smile. For whatever reason she could never say no
to that girl.
 
~
“I don’t have that much time. Azula needs me in two hours.” Ty Lee looked sadly
at her older sister. They stood in the Royal Garden, watching the turtle ducks
swim in the pond. Anna looked down at her younger sister with a smile.
“I haven’t seen you in a year. I will take whatever time her majesty is willing
to give me.” Anna was so different from Ty Lee and Ty Lee noticed. She had been
groomed into the perfect lady, arms always folded perfectly, hair always
perfectly cascading down her back. She always wore traditional red noblewoman
attire, no matter what the occasion. Although an invitation to the palace was a
rarity for anyone in their family other than Ty Lee. Their parents were called
upon for court but that happened infrequently since the war raged on and Fire
Lord Ozai lost most interest in it after Princess Ursa left. But Anna was the
perfect child in most senses. Although appearances were deceiving.
“I did write you silly!” Ty Lee looked at her sister as though she were crazy.
Although, letters were by no means substitutes for the real thing.
“I tried to go see you at the circus once you know. But mother and father
wouldn’t let me go at the last minute. They had another line of suitors for me
to look through.” Anna looked at the ground sadly.
“Are they still trying to marry you off?”
“Of course. By tradition the eldest is supposed to marry before the younger are
even allowed out into society. Although they did break that rule quite a bit.
They think I’m turning into an old maid.”
“You’re only twenty one! I don’t know why they don’t understand that you aren’t
attracted to anyone. Being asexual isn’t a crime.”
“I know, they seemed to accept your lesbianism quite easily.” Ty Lee giggled.
“I’m not a lesbian silly!”
“You mean you like boys too?”
“Well not really.... I mean... I’m more like.... Azula sexual!” Ty Lee
exclaimed proudly.
“You always have fancied that girl. As long as I can remember you two were
attached at the hip. And I hate to break it to you but they’re only okay with
you being in love with her because she’s the Princess. If it was anyone else
they wouldn’t have any of it.”
“I know... that’s why I ran away. They think I don’t have feelings for her.
They think I’m just using her, but I’m not. I wouldn’t care if Azula was
completely poor without any title at all.”
“I know Ty. I’m just glad you two get to be together again, even if it’s only
for a little while. I know how afraid of the Fire Lord her majesty is.” Ty Lee
didn’t like to think about how terrified Azula must really be. One slip up and
she could be exactly where Zuko now was. Zuko’s banishment and treason made
Azula the heir to the throne, but it could be taken away from her at any
moment. Although her sister clearly wasn’t cut out to rule the Fire Nation or
the world for that matter, Ozai didn’t really care about his heirs and Ty Lee
knew it. He was proud of Azula’s accomplishments but that was the extent of his
feelings for her. She thought that he might love Maddie, but it was only
because she reminded him so much of Ursa.
“I just hope this is all over soon. And then maybe someday, Azula and I won’t
have to worry about the Fire Lord discovering us, and then she can finally
relax for awhile you know? She’s always so tense when we’re alone.”
“You know I support you no matter what. Not because of who she is, but because
you love her. And I’m sure she loves you too, even if she doesn’t show it. I
know she can be cruel, and I don’t like the way she treats you all of the time.
But she makes you incredibly happy and I know that. So I will always be here
for you. All you have to do is write.”
“I know. And I appreciate that. And maybe if you are forced to get a husband,
we can write with more freedom you know? And you can even come visit!”
“I hope I can fall in love Ty, but it’s difficult to find someone who
understands that I’m not interested in sex of any kind. I know that I will have
to produce children, but the whole idea still bothers me. I just hope I find
someone understanding. But it’s not an easy task considering we live in the
Fire Nation.”
 
~
“Anna!” Ty Lee burst into the room and latched onto her sister as fast as
humanly possible. Anna smiled down at her sister as she watched Azula slowly
cross into the throne room.
“Presenting Lady Ty Lee and Princess Azula your majesty,” the guard addressed
Kai. He nodded and shooed him away. Anna pulled away a bit from Ty Lee and
smiled down at her. She gave a cordial bow to Azula with a smile and then
returned Ty Lee’s affections.
“You two should go take a stroll through the gardens. They are really beautiful
this time of year,” Maddie said smiling.
“What a wonderful idea your majesty. I think we shall take you up on that.”
Both sisters bowed and walked arm and arm out of the room, quite giddy. Azula
sat on the steps near Kai who was sharpening a knife.
“She is probably the only one in her whole family with a little manners,” Kai
said as he continued to sharpen his object. He looked up at Azula to assess how
she felt about the whole situation, knowing that she didn’t like all of the
other opinions about her floating around. Azula looked at him with great
annoyance as though he had stepped on a cat’s tail.
“She is polite enough. Her graces are some of the best in any court.” Azula
truly didn’t mind Ty Lee’s sister, especially compared to the rest of their
large brood. She just knew that most of their families real opinions of her
were not high, but Anna was the only one to verbalize it to Ty Lee. Azula
wasn’t sure if that made her the best family member or the worst.
 
~
“She is treating you well then?” Anna looked at her sister skeptically.
“Of course she is! I told you she’s changed a lot. Just because her personality
is the same doesn’t mean she isn’t different. She’s wonderful to me. I just
can’t tell our parents because they think she’s still in the asylum and insane.
Besides they probably don’t want to be reminded about the wealth I could have
gotten them.”
“Are you kidding? They would be elated. They are still very much supportive of
the old regime. They are actually sending money to the colonies so they can try
and create a revolution around Azula. They want to push her onto the throne and
throw Zuko off of it.”
“Azula? Why Azula?”
“Well they only have two royal family members to choose from. And they can
either choose the one who can’t firebend at all or the one that they believe is
slightly insane. But at least she can still do the thing the embodies the Fire
Nation. If they knew where she was they would have already tried to convince
her to be on their side. That’s why I’m glad you avoided contacting me
directly. They would know you were with her and that would be bad for her,
especially if she’s made as much progress as you say.”
“I’m glad to know that you’re helping us. I had no idea those kind of talks
have been going on. I thought that would have calmed down by now.”
“Please all of the attempts on Fire Lord Zuko’s life have been from his own
citizens. And most of the attempts are somehow related to our father or at
least his money.” Ty Lee shuddered just thinking about politics.
“I’m only staying a week, but I just want you to make sure there aren’t any
suspicious people interacting with her. I know you trust her, but there are so
many other people that you can’t.” Ty Lee looked over as Azula sat down on one
of the steps outside the door of the palace.
“I will. I’ll look out. I just don’t think we should tell her about this. Just
to make sure they can’t accuse her of anything.”
“Just protect her Ty. She would do the same for you.”
 
***** Chapter 21 *****
Azula couldn’t believe how fast Ty Lee’s sister had worn out her welcome. Azula
couldn’t deny she had been kind and polite. Her uncle adored her, almost as
much as he adored Ty Lee herself. They would tell stories to each other and
discuss politics. She watched as Ty Lee, Anna and Iroh laughed until they were
crying and even sometimes she would join in with a small chuckle. But seeing
such a happy, normal relationship between two family members made her feel odd.
As though she was without.
Azula remembered wanting that kind of relationship with her father. Maddie, her
grandfather, even upon occasion Zuko and her fuddy duddy uncle. And her mother.
She hated thinking about her. She had slowly blocked her out of her mind. She
had replaced all of the sorrow and anguish with the happiness she had acquired
over the past few months. All of the late night giggling Ty Lee had done after
they made love. The way her hair smelled when she woke slightly before her and
her unbraided hair was fanned out on the bed. The way her Uncle sometimes
smiled at her differently, especially in the shop when he appreciated her.
But there was still a hole in her heart for some reason. Perhaps it had
happened when her mother left without saying goodbye. In her heart she knew it
had been before then. Maybe when she had muttered, “What is wrong with that
child?” Maybe it was when she read Zuko bedtime stories and stopped inviting
her into the room because she spent too much time with her father. Maybe it was
when she saw Zuko making fun of her because she couldn’t get along with
turtleducks and her mother didn’t defend her at all. They didn’t know that a
turtleduck had bitten her and she had accidentally burned it in self-defense.
They never let her touch them again. She had never really fed them like that.
And they just laughed at her.
All she knew was that it hurt her. She had read in books about mothers who had
beautiful and loving relationships with their daughters, a bond that no one
could get rid of. But she never had that. She thought that it must be fairy-
tale, especially when she made friends. Ty Lee barely talked to her mother, as
she couldn’t tell her apart from the twins who were dangerously close in age to
her. Mai didn’t like her mother at all because she wanted her to be something
she wasn’t. She knew that for whatever reason, she couldn’t have it with her
mother. At first she had thought Maddie couldn’t either. But then she got a
little older. She started walking and talking and her mother couldn’t get
enough. Neither could her father nor Zuko nor Iroh. And her mother shared an
undying love with her sister. Not her.
“Something on your mind?” Iroh looked down with a small smile. He sat next to
her on the porch and handed her a cup of tea. Azula took the cup but didn’t
look him in the eye. It wasn’t any of his business what she thought. That she
even thought of her mother from time to time still bothered her. She thought
she could come to peace with her fate, Ursa’s fate. But there were some days
when she wondered if she could ever be loved, because her own parents couldn’t
even love her.
“I know something is on your mind Azula. You have a habit of pushing your lips
together in the same odd way your father does.” Azula looked out into the
garden. She watched Ty Lee and Anna laugh together and she couldn’t help but
sigh. Why couldn’t she be happy that she had that kind of relationship with her
sister? That her sister loved her? Why did she need more than one family member
to love her? Wasn’t she enough? Wasn’t Ty Lee enough? She could confide in her
own flesh and blood, her own Uncle couldn’t she? It was the Uncle she had shot
lightning into, but she had known he wouldn’t die so easily. She had known he
would make it.
“This isn’t show and tell old man. As a matter of fact, I skipped that every
time the teacher even suggested that silly thing.”
“Well I know you don’t tell anyone much about yourself. You don’t share your
hopes, dreams, or feelings anymore. I know it’s because people have hurt you.
But I have never been anything other than what you thought I was. Your tea
loving Uncle who tells odd war stories and sends you dolls to give to your
favorite friend.” Azula felt astonished that he knew so much about her.
“What makes you think I have any interest in telling you?” Iroh laughed.
“Because you’re bored.” Azula looked at the old man and chuckled. He certainly
thought he knew her well.
“I think you have me confused with Mai.”
“I know what you think when you see them you know. Those two really do have
something special. And you do have something very close with your sister you
know.” Azula looked out at them and froze her emotions.
“I just wish I had something like that with other family sometimes. Not often
but when I’m bored.”
“I always liked you more than your siblings you know.” Azula whipped her head
in his direction giving him her most skeptical look.
“Please you worship the ground Zuko walks on.”
“I certainly do not. I love him very much, like my own son. As I do you and
your sister. But you are my favorite.”
“If you’re going to lie, at least back up your lie.”
“I remember all three of you growing up. Zuko needed more help than you did.
Maddie had you to protect her from the worst of our family. Zuko needed my
guidance so much that sometimes I forgot that you needed advice too. But there
was a key difference between you and Zuko that still stands. When I give Zuko
advice, he shrugs me off and does whatever he wants because he thinks he needs
to discover things for himself, often sending him the long way to the right
conclusion. When I give you advice, no matter how little you have thought of me
over the years, you at least ponder it to see if it will be of any use to you
in the future. You always find the most clever and resourceful solution, unlike
your brother and your father. And despite what you might think, that is what
makes you more like me, which is probably why I secretly favor you. But if you
tell your siblings I will deny it,” the old man laughed. Azula smiled and
returned to her tea.
“Thanks. Although I suspect you of lying like the strategist I know you to be.”
“No need to lie to my own niece. Well, at least not this time.” Azula watched
the two sisters laughing and smiled a little. She felt a little foolish for
caring, but even if her Uncle was lying, she appreciated it.
“Your mother does love you. It may be a twisted, odd sort of love just like
your fathers, but she does love you.” Azula sighed and looked into her tea.
“Thank you Uncle. I need to hear silly things like that sometimes.”
 
~
  “Azula, Azula! Guess what I just heard your mom say?!” Mai had rushed over
like the best friend she was. At age eight she didn’t really think about the
consequences of what she was about to say. It would haunt her for the rest of
her life. She ran over to Azula and Ty Lee. Azula was helping braid the hair of
every single one of the dolls she had ever given Ty Lee because that way the
other sisters would be less inclined to take her dolls. Azula smiled, hoping it
was something she could tease her brother with it later. Her eyes widened as
she heard what Mai said. It would forever rebound within her own mind.
Monster. Her mother had muttered that she was a monster. To her own servants as
Mai was walking by. Azula protested. My mother would never say that about me!
She was probably talking about someone else! No Azula, she said your name. She
said:
“I don’t know what to do with Azula. That child is a monster.” Azula looked
away from her friend and turned her attention back to her doll.
“I don’t care. Why would I care what she thinks about me? I don’t need her. I
never have. She’s a useless waste of space anyways.” Azula kept her head down
as she fought tears. How could anyone love her if her own mother didn’t? How
could her mother say things like that about her own child? What was so great
about Zuko anyways?
 
Azula snuck into her room early to avoid her parents. She didn’t want to listen
to them try to make idle conversation between one another when she knew full
well that they didn’t care. She crawled into her bed and pulled all of the
covers over her head so she could try to mute her crying. Her own mother hated
her. She knew her mother didn’t like her all that much but she had never
thought her own mother would hate her.
Azula heard the door open and she wanted to yell at them to get out and leave
her alone. The door quietly shut behind the infiltrator. A few steps that were
quiet as a mouse could be heard and then a larger body sat on the bed and began
pulling the covers away. She didn’t want it to be her mother. She closed her
eyes as tightly as she possibly could. She heard a deep sigh as she was pulled
into a strong lap and held tightly. She slowly opened her eyes and looked up
into a familiar face.
“I thought you left a long time ago.”
“I’m on leave for a few weeks. We’re going to start the siege of Ba Sing Se
soon. You weren’t at dinner. Everyone was looking for you.” Lu Ten looked down
at his little cousin with a great sadness in his eyes. He remembered when this
little girl had been born. He remembered when he played games with her and
Zuko, chasing her around, pretending to be from the Earth Kingdom because she
wanted to pretend to be the Fire Lord. Tucking her in bed when she was too
tired to continue. She had grown so much since then. But not as much as
everyone thought. He saw all of the pressures put on her. The way her parents
treated her. He didn’t like his little cousin treated that way.
“Why don’t you tell me all about it huh? If you don’t I won’t give you your
present from the Earth Kingdom. I brought you something really cool.” Azula
sniffled and looked up at her cousin.
“Mai told me something horrible today. She said that my mom.... Ursa said, ‘I
don’t know what to do with Azula. That child is a monster.’ “ Lu Ten looked
down at the saddened face of his normally very antagonistic cousin. Her eyes
were completely swollen and red. Her hair was a complete mess, something he had
never seen. She was even latching herself onto him. As though she was hurt. His
brow furrowed as he tried to control his anger.
“You’re not a monster. I promise. How could such a cute little girl like you be
a monster? A handful maybe. Especially compared to Zuko. But you’re not a
monster Zula. I promise. And the future Fire Lord cannot lie.” Azula looked up
into the older boys face with hope in her eyes.
“Really? You promise?” Lu Ten nodded very quickly. She smiled and wiped her
eyes. He reached down into the bag he had brought and handed her one of the
presents he had brought.
“This is for your friend Ty Lee’s doll collection. And this is for you!” She
took the doll and smiled and then looked at the packaged item he gave her. She
slowly unwrapped it. She squealed in excitement. A weapon. A weapon all her
own. The blade of the sword ended in a semi-circle, something she had never
seen in any of her training sessions.
“It’s called the Qian kun ri yue dao. It’s used by pirates. I bought one off of
one. I knew when I saw it that you would love it.” She grasped onto him
excitedly.
“I love you Lu Ten! You’re the best cousin in the world!”
“I love you too. You’re a little short for it now but if you grow as fast as I
did, then you should be able to fight with it pretty soon.”
“Azula honey? Are you in there?” Azula quickly hid behind Lu Ten as she heard
Ursa’s voice from outside. He touched her shoulder gently and then walked
outside. She crawled to the door to listen. She heard her cousins harsh tone.
“You can’t say things like that! Azula isn’t a monster, she’s a little girl.
And you have hurt your own daughter. If that was your intention, then you
succeeded!”
“Lu Ten it was never meant for her ears.”
“And that suddenly makes it okay? You should never say something like that to
your own child!” He was almost yelling at this point.
“You’re right I never should have said it. But you see how much time she’s
spending with Ozai. I’m just worried about her turning into him.”
“Then keep it to yourself! You are just hurting her, not helping her.” Lu Ten
pushed past her angrily and stalked down the palace corridors. Azula held the
blade close to her heart. One of her relatives loved her. Actually loved her to
the point that he stood up for her. Yelled at a Princess of the Fire Nation for
her. Azula ran over to her bed and kneeled by the bedside. Ursa had cracked the
door a little to look at her daughter.
“Hey spirits. I know I don’t talk to you as much as I should. But I just wanted
to... well this sounds so stupid. I just want to make sure that the right
person becomes Fire Lord in the future. I want Lu Ten to be Fire Lord. No
matter what. So, can you just do that for me? Thank you all so much. I know
you’re busy being all spirity and stuff.” Ursa smiled from behind the door.
Maybe, just maybe, her daughter wasn’t as much like Ozai as she originally
thought.
 
~
“You’re up rather late your majesty.” Azula looked up at Anna. She didn’t know
why she sat on the porch so much. The temperature wasn’t to her liking. But she
felt freer outside, having been in a nut house for almost two years. No one had
called her “your majesty” since her days in the asylum. Most of them called her
“your highness” or “your majesty” out of respect for the old regime. Most of
them weren’t happy with Zuko.
“I can’t sleep recently. I feel something coming in the air. It sounds insane
but everything has been going well for me for much too long now.” Anna sat next
to the Princess elegantly, looking up into the night sky.
“Hopefully your brother the Fire Lord will fix whatever problems there are in
the colonies and within the Fire Nation, and you will be left alone. And you
and my sister can be in peace.”
“I doubt we’ll be that lucky. I heard a little about the plots to take Zuko out
of power, even if it is by just putting my powerless father back on the throne
until they locate me.” Anna sighed. She had no idea the Princess had been so
perceptive even from her jail cell.
“You think that Mai and I discussed the weather when she visited me in the
asylum? I’m not as sheltered as you think. I don’t know if any of it is still
circulating. I truly hope it isn’t. Because I don’t have any interest in being
Fire Lord right now.”
“For what it’s worth, you would have been a great one.”
“I have no delusions about your opinion of me.”
“I know. I worry about how you have treated my sister in the past. But that is
not who I have seen this week. I have seen a hard working young woman who loves
my sister with all her heart. Even if she doesn’t say it.”
“I think I’m at the point of my life where I just want to be left alone for
awhile. I feel I have earned at least that after a lifetime of service to the
people of the Fire Nation. A few years without any contact to insure my sanity
isn’t fleeting isn’t asking much.”
“I truly don’t think your brother has a few years.” Azula looked at the young
woman, knowing she was right. If she was going to help Zuko, which wasn’t very
likely at this point of her existence, she didn’t have much time.
“I am aware. I don’t think his suffering is complete yet. Besides, I can’t save
him every time he has a problem. Then he’ll become dependent on my opinion.
Just like he is dependent on our uncles.”
“Just be careful. You could be on the throne whether you like it or not. You
are the heir to the throne at this point after all.”
“Like the Avatar would ever let that happen.” Anna chuckled and Azula smiled.
“Just don’t forget her. No matter what happens.”
“I can’t.”
“Oh?”
“Because she has never forgotten me. Even when she should have. She still came
back. I will always go back to her. Always.”
***** Chapter 22 *****
Ty Lee hated to see her sister leave so soon. But she knew that her poor,
unfortunate sister would have to look through another line of suitors while all
of the other girls looked at them with longing from afar. But something else
was nagging her inside, something much more saddening to her.
Ty Lee had known for most of her life that she was in love with Azula. They
were more than comfortable now, sharing everything with one another, including
a bed. But Ty Lee couldn’t help but feel she was hiding something from Azula by
not telling her how she really felt about her. She didn’t like feeling so sad.
Azula wasn’t causing her any internal pain, but she knew there were several bad
outcomes if she told Azula at the wrong time.
“Oh poor Ty Lee. I could never really love a traitor you know. But thank you
for all of the sex. This really has been a lovely experience for me.”
She shuddered as she thought about it. Ty Lee frowned as she continued washing
dishes, one of her normal chores she left for the morning. Azula was up by this
point, eating breakfast in the kitchen before leaving to go to the palace to
see Elyon. The normal activity she did every Friday. Ty Lee was going to
accompany her as well, because she had been seeing Elyon more frequently as
well. She had opened up about all of her family problems, her childhood. But
she still hadn’t talked about her shameful feelings, the ones she repressed
every time she didn’t tell Azula her feelings.
“Are you coming today Ty?”
“Yeah I’ll be ready in a second.” Ty Lee put the last dish on the towel and
walked out into the living area. She never really liked Azula in green as much,
but she knew that she was pretty no matter what she wore. She didn’t seem to
glow as much in green, but she looked so much more healthy than she had in a
straight jacket. That disgusting shade of yellow was forever imprinted into Ty
Lee’s brain.
Ty Lee noticed that Azula was much more fit now that she had been exercising
regularly. She remembered how difficult it had been for her to walk to the
palace before, but now she walked in her normal, confident manner. Her princess
status was obvious because of her regal gait. Her head was held high and most
of the men who were in the streets stopped and stared at her. Ty Lee couldn’t
tell if it was because they knew who she was, or if it was because they truly
noticed how she carried herself. Either way, Azula commanded attention.
 
“Hey Princess, how ya been?” Toph yelled from the other end of the courtyard.
Azula smirked at her from afar, taking delight in her new friend.
“I’ve been worse. How about you and your students?”
“Oh they’re being shit heads as usual. Not as bad as Ellie’s students lately,
but at least hers aren’t as disobedient. I wish you could show up for a day to
teach them a lesson. They would be scared shitless by your firebending.”
“I would be honored to be invited. I could give a fire and lightning
demonstration and threaten them a little bit with my insane wrath.”
“I love it! I will be kidnapping you from your uncle one of these days so you
can scare them shitless. I really look forward to it!”
“Now Toph that isn’t very nice. I told you positive reinforcement is better
than scaring them.”
“You’re starting to sound like the Sugar Queen. Please don’t start getting
preachy
with me about teaching styles. You can teach your softie way and I’ll teach my
way. Rock is supposed to be difficult. I thought you would have learned that
from watching me teach Aang.” Elyon shook her head as she smiled down at her
friend. Azula felt a little sorry for the poor girl hitting on a girl who could
possibly not be gay or even bisexual.
 
~
Azula looked at her friend as she nervously crawled onto her own bed, all of
the doors closed, all of the windows locked. Ty Lee didn’t want any of her
sisters to hear what she was about to tell Azula. She hated how they teased her
already. She didn’t need them to add to the situation she already found herself
in. She needed advice from Azula because she didn’t know how she felt. She
didn’t know at such a young age that her hormones were raging, being only
twelve years old. She didn’t know that being confused was very normal and that
seeking advice from another twelve year old, especially Azula, wasn’t the best
idea.
“You know Lee right?” Azula looked at her friend skeptically. She didn’t like
that she was talking about a boy. She rarely remembered boys names, and she
didn’t like it.
“Which one? There are probably a hundred different Lee’s in the boys academy
and probably thousands in the Fire Nation. You will have to be a bit more
specific.”
“The one in the band!” Ty Lee felt very nervous. She didn’t know how Azula was
going to react. Perhaps she should have talked to Mai or Anna. Although Anna
didn’t seem to have any interest in either gender, ignoring everyone, even
though she was much older than her. And Mai only seemed to have eyes for Zuko.
“Oh yes that total geek who’s been trailing you for weeks now. What about him?”
Azula was already becoming tired of this subject. All boys were complete losers
just like her brother, and she knew they were generally all equally boring.
Most girls didn’t fascinate her either, being too catty or boring for her
attentions.
“Well, he.... he...”
“He what? Out with it Ty!”
“He kissed me!” Ty Lee stuttered, exasperated. Azula’s gaze turned hostile.
Someone had taken Ty Lee’s first kiss. He hadn’t asked her for her permission!
Had the boy no manners? Ty Lee belonged to Azula, just as Mai did. Everyone in
the Fire Nation who was up to date on politics knew of her possessive nature.
How dare he? She wouldn’t have granted him permission anyway. No one was worthy
of her Ty Lee.
“Did you like it?”
“I-i don’t know! I didn’t hate it. I just thought there would be some more
excitement. I thought there would be something more-” Azula leaned over and
pushed her lips on Ty Lee’s. She didn’t know what had gotten into her. She
didn’t like the idea of someone else taking her first kiss, and she didn’t even
know if she liked it for that matter! Ty Lee was astonished at first. But then
she relaxed. It had been what she had secretly wanted ever since they were
seven years old. She felt a rush of heat. Such an innocent kiss, but she could
feel a fire in her loins, something she had been taught was dirty until
marriage. But she didn’t feel dirty, she felt perfect. Azula felt as though she
was soaring. She felt finally perfect, dizzy, hot. She didn’t know how to
process all of it. She pulled away slowly.
“I think it was supposed to feel like that Zula,” Ty Lee said breathlessly.
Azula
blushed, not knowing what to say next. She awkwardly smiled and looked away.
“Zula, what’s wrong?” She looked Ty Lee dead in the eyes, panic growing within
her own. She gulped loudly before she spoke.
“I think I’m fucking queer.”
 
~
“Now Azula you’ve been making great progress, but I don’t think that I can
clear
you until we’ve talked about more personal issues. You haven’t talked about
your family or even about the nature of your relationship with Ty Lee, and I
think it would be beneficial.”
“No.” Elyon sighed. She had anticipated this problem. Azula sat with her arms
crossed and her normal condescending stare. She wished that Toph was allowed to
assist her. She thought Toph would be able to relate to her more.
“Azula I can’t pass you and send you home unless you talk about it.”
“Are you going to make Ty Lee talk about her family? And me?”
“She’s already talked plenty about you, but yes I will be making her talk about
her family. I know that it’s a sensitive subject for both of you, but I think
it would be helpful.” Azula wondered how much Ty Lee had disclosed. She bet she
had told her everything. Mostly because Ty Lee had always wanted to share their
relationship with someone, but also because she avoided talking about her
family almost as much as she did.
“Is there anyone you would rather start talking about? Someone easier to talk
about? We don’t have to start with your parents right away.”
“I’ve already told you I don’t want to disclose my personal feelings with you.”
“Then you can be shamed forever. Your whole nation will think you’re a mental
patient for the rest of your life.” Azula looked down. She didn’t want to talk
about it.
“Fine.” Azula grudgingly agreed to disclose. She thought about people it would
be safe to talk about. Elyon could feel that there would be a long silence. But
Azula looked up, looking wearily.
“We can talk about my sister or my cousin. Take your pick.” Elyon smiled. Azula
made lots of baby steps, whether she wanted to admit it or not. Elyon knew that
Azula was trying to prolong her time in the Earth Kingdom at this point, as she
did not want to go back and face all of the shame. And all of the hurt from her
childhood.
“How about we talk about your sister first, and then your cousin?”
“What do you want to know about my sister?” Azula knew she probably wanted to
know about the relationship she had with her. But she would over analyze it,
twist it into something it wasn’t. She had always had a close relationship with
her sister, unlike Zuko.
“Well tell me about how you two have gotten along over your lifetimes.”
“I was two when she was born. A scrawny little thing. No one took much interest
in her. She sniffed and cried a lot. I was the only one who paid attention to
her at first. Ursa said I was amazed by her frailty. I remember hearing that
our father thought she was a nonbender and was going to cast her out of the
palace. But sure enough when I was tickling her that very day she sneezed fire
out of her nose. And we got to keep her.”
“Have you always had a good relationship with her?”
“Yes. Unlike Zuko, she has always worshipped me. When she started to walk she
followed me around constantly like a turtleduck follows its mother. No matter
how many of her dolls I burned she never cried or complained. She just smiled
and clapped.”
“What about when your mother left?”
“She cried a lot. I would let her sleep with me every night so she could feel
safe. I helped her do all the things Ursa had helped her with before. When she
fell, I would bandage her. I helped her through school and firebending. I
wouldn’t let her have another tutor and father had no problem with it. I taught
her all about politics, military, nobility-”
“So you took on the role of mother?” Azula was shocked about being interrupted.
And she was even more shocked that the airbender was right. She had done
everything for Maddie. As soon as Ursa left, they had stopped having fun
together. Azula had to be an authority figure in Maddie’s life. Ozai let her
get away with whatever she wanted.
“I suppose so. I never thought of it that way.”
“Did you do even more when Zuko and Iroh left?”
“She was distraught, for reasons I will never understand. She started skipping
school and just staying in bed all day. I had to set a fire under her ass,
figuratively speaking. I would have literally done it if she hadn’t gotten up.
I had to help motivate her. I even helped her with her homework. She became
very depressed.”
“You took on a lot more than most sisters should. Did it affect your
relationship?”
“In some ways I suppose. We didn’t do fun things together anymore. I was so
busy worrying about what she should be doing that we lost some of our sisterly
relationship.”
“I think you know what you need to do. I think you should focus on doing
something fun with her. At least once a week. Now, I never knew you had a
cousin. Do you want to talk about him now or later?”
“Next time. I’m pretty sure you still have to interview Ty Lee and Agni knows
how long that’s going to take. And I would rather spend time with Toph than
continue discussing my family life.”
“Alright Azula have it your way.”
“No matter what you might think of me, I always get my way. No one can stop me
once I truly want something.”
***** Chapter 23 *****
Chapter Summary
     Author’s note: I’m sorry that I haven’t written a chapter in a long
     time!! Since March actually… lord that’s terrible. But it’s mostly
     because I forgot that I had chapter 22 all written and I’ve been
     waiting for all of the installments of The Search so that I could
     plan how I want this to go. There was a nasty rumor on tumblr that
     Azula was supposed to die in the last book, but since she didn’t so
     now I can do everything I was planning on doing. I have no idea how
     it’s going to resolve yet but I’m not sure if it was meant to yet…
     anyways I’ve really missed writing! Also this chapter is probably
     going to be extra long because it’s part of the turning point so that
     I can begin writing about The Search. Sorry for the long note.
     Enjoy!!
“Hey Princess. There’s this party that Ellie and I are probably going to. It’s
in the underground club scene of the city. I don’t know if you’ve heard of it
or not. But I was wondering if you and Ty Lee might want to go too? You know
since you’re not all bat-shit crazy and all. Plus Ellie says it would be good
for you to get some social interaction, yadda yadda,” Toph rolled her eyes. She
didn’t care much for Elyon’s psychological mumbo-jumbo. She thought it didn’t
really get to the root of most people’s problems. Especially not Azula’s. She
could see her new friend was improving rapidly but she doubted it was from
Elyon. It was because of Ty Lee and Iroh, the people around her who were giving
her all of the positive energy she needed to start over. Toph didn’t think that
stirring up old wounds was going to help anything.
“Well I’m sure that Ty Lee would like to go. But the last time we went to a
party we destroyed the place after so I’m not so sure we would be preferred
party guests.”
“It’s not really a place you can destroy sweet cheeks. It’s more like a giant
hole in the ground that was used during the war. It’s not like a permanent
thing or anything. Besides it’s a club so there’s going to be lots of music and
dancing, like Aang wanted the kids in the Fire Nation to have. I’m personally
going for the booze.”
“Well I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t attend and drink you under the
table.”
“As long as you aren’t a sad drunk I don’t really care. I just don’t want you
to make me cry too while I’m drunk because I feel like that could get messy
really quickly. What with our wonderful families and all.”
“Noted. Although I can’t remember what I’m like when I’m drunk as I haven’t
done so in a long time.” Azula vaguely remembered one of the nights spent at
the beach with Mai and Ty Lee, away from Zuko. They were all completely
intoxicated, the fire whiskey going to their heads far too quickly. And of
course, being only two fourteen year olds and one fifteen year old, they didn’t
handle it well at all.
“Alright. I think we’re going tonight so if you’re up for sneaking out we’ll
see you there.”
“I assure you we will be there.”
 
~
  Why? Azula couldn’t help but wonder as she and Mai were crouched over,
vomiting behind some bushes. Why had they thought this would be a good idea for
them to forget all their pain? Having that conversation around the fire had
make them think too much, too much about their lives. About themselves. Ty Lee
held their hair gently, somehow much better at holding her liquor, although she
was hiccuping incessantly. Azula had never thrown up this much. And she
certainly couldn’t remember doing it outside. She just wanted to go to sleep,
to escape all of this. To escape her reality. And she couldn’t believe she had
let Ty Lee and Mai see her like this. The two people she had tried to keep and
control with all of her might. She needed them to fear her.
Azula? Azula honey what have you done to yourself?
 
Azula froze. It had been a long time since she had imagined her mother. She
used to do it to comfort herself as a child. She knew that she made her a nicer
parent then she really was. Yet there she sat, looking at her sadly from the
rock she sat on. As if she actually cared. Azula wanted to yell at her. To burn
her face.
How dare she appear to her now? She had cried her tears over Ursa long ago,
buried her memory deep, pushed far into the back of her mind. She had taken
over the role of parent for her sister, stopped her needless childhood early
just because her mother left to save Zuko. She hadn’t even bothered to say
goodbye. And yet she had probably gone off and started a new life somewhere,
completely forgetting about her two children. Perhaps she even got remarried
and had more children to replace them. No need to remember the two fuck ups she
had birthed right? She could just start all over, wipe the slate completely
clean.
She saw the way she looked at her. She patronized her. Maybe she even felt
guilty for leaving her oldest daughter to fend for herself. For letting her
daughter suffer through Zuko and Ozai. Abandoning her to realize that she was a
homosexual. She wasn’t her problem anymore.
Azula wanted to yell at her, to tell her that she didn’t need her anymore. That
she had grown up just fine without her. That she was most likely going to be
the first Fire Lady in history, as her precious Zuzu would probably fuck it up
somehow. That she was going to be happy with Ty Lee forever, that it didn’t
matter that she was gay. Yet just as she opened her mouth in fury to do so,
more vomit emerged from her mouth. Ty Lee put her hand on her shoulder
lovingly, and just like that Ursa disappeared. She vanished as though she had
never been there, just a shadow of Azula’s subconscious. Azula slowly looked up
at Ty Lee, who was drunkenly smiling down at her. She started to hiccup again
and Azula smiled back.
 
~
“You want to sneak out and go to a party? Azula do you remember what happened
at the last party we went to?” Ty Lee rolled her eyes as she continued to wash
the dishes.
“Toph assured me it wouldn’t be like that.”
“I don’t want you to get in trouble Azula.”
“I won’t. We haven’t had much fun since we got here. I just thought that we
should get out of the house. And you’re always telling me that I don’t have
enough friends.” Azula crossed her arms defensively and looked away. She didn’t
like feeling rejected. She wanted Ty Lee to do as she said.
“I do think it would be good...but….”
“But? Spit it out Ty Lee.”
“Are we going as just friends?” Ty Lee looked at Azula. She was tired of
hiding. She was tired of feeling ashamed, wondering when someone was going to
find out. She just wanted to tell everyone.
“We aren’t friends Ty Lee. I don’t think we’ve been friends in a long time.”
“What do you mean?”
“People who are just friends don’t fool around like we have for most of our
teen years. Besides… I suppose I feel somewhat attached to you at this point.”
“So we’re going as girlfriends?” Ty Lee looked excitedly.
“Do you really have to label everything?” Azula snapped. Ty Lee’s smile quickly
dropped. She managed to keep herself from tearing up. She was used to Azula’s
defensiveness by now.
“I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry,” Azula touched her arm gently, “You can call us
whatever you want to call us.” Ty Lee smiled again, embracing Azula.
“So we can tell people now?” She asked excitedly.
“Well, just the people at the party for now. I’m not ready for family.”
“Okay! We can wait for family! I’m going to go pick something to wear!” Ty Lee
cartwheeled down the hall excitedly. Azula smiled a bit. She was a little
afraid. They had waited so long to be together. In public no less. She had
thought it would happen when she was the Fire Lady and her father was long
dead. But here they were now, going to some odd underground Earth Kingdom party
with two people she thought she never would have been friends with.
She went in the room and saw Ty Lee was putting on a similar version of the
clothing she wore to the last party but in a darker green. Ty Lee always loved
her belly shirts, no matter how much Azula disliked her wearing them in public.
Although she didn’t mind seeing her toned abdomen. Azula picked something at
random that she had for Earth Kingdom attire. She missed wearing red, but she
didn’t need to draw unnecessary attention to herself.
“You should wear your hair down again ‘Zula. You look so beautiful when you
do!” Ty Lee smiled at her from the mirror. Azula smiled back. It was almost as
if they were young again and nothing had happened. She felt happy. It felt so
odd. She slowly took her hair down and brushed it out a bit as it fell. Her
bangs had grown back. Her hair really was beautiful. It had repaired
surprisingly well for being in the mental hospital for so long. She couldn’t
remember when they actually washed her hair. If they actually washed it. She
remembered when it started to grow out again some of it had gotten knotted. She
remembered her sister trying to get the knots out but they had to cut a large
one out.
She carefully brushed it into place. For whatever reason it mattered less to
her if there was any out of place. She used to obsess over it, sometimes she
would be in the mirror for hours and she couldn’t get it right so she would
wash it again. She had been obsessed with perfection. But it all seemed to fade
away as she looked at the perfect girl who approached her from behind, hugging
her shoulders. None of it ever seemed to matter when she was around. It was as
though all of her obsessions disappeared.
The two girls used their skills to sneak out fairly easily. Not that Iroh
checked on them anymore. He never thought of Azula running away now, especially
since she was so attached to Ty Lee again. The two had mastered such deviant
behaviour at an early age. They had snuck out repeatedly to go out whenever
Ozai had said no, coming back just in time not to get caught. They met Toph and
Elyon near the entrance Toph had mentioned. She hadn’t bothered dressing up. If
she couldn’t see herself why the hell did she care that everyone else could?
Elyon didn’t look quite right with her light blond hair and her dark green
clothes. But it was the only way to sort of blend in, although as an air bender
it was almost impossible.
“You too look beautiful! I’m so glad you came!”
“Thanks you two do too!” Ty Lee said.
“If I knew what the hell any of you looked like I’d return the compliment.”
Azula laughed. She enjoyed her new friends sarcasm immensely.
 
The music was blaring in the large cavern, making it hard to hear anyone. The
music was much different than it was in the Fire Nation. Azula was used to
listening to formal music. But here, it was so informal. It was more jagged and
rough, but much more enjoyable. There were many youths, all lined up to get
some illegal alcohol. Most of the girls were hardly clothed, something Azula
also wasn’t used to. Ty Lee was more than used to it because of the circus, but
she watched Azula as she took in all of the sights and sounds. Azula smiled at
Ty Lee. Ty Lee grabbed her hand excitedly and dragged her out onto the dance
floor with the others.
“Ty I don’t know how. I was never-”
“You just kinda move! There isn’t a specific way to do it ‘Zula!”
The hours passed. Azula hadn’t felt like a normal teenager in a long time. They
hadn’t been allowed to since the day on the beach. Her father had ensured that
her childhood would be lost early. But they passed the time taking shots with
each other, all four of them. They laughed and drunkenly danced. And she had
lost all concerns about whether people knew or not. She kissed her in front of
everyone. It was the most liberating feeling in the whole world, the most free
she had ever felt.
Ty Lee and Azula had meandered outside. It was long past the time when they
should have been home. They were just starting to sober up, and Azula couldn’t
take her eyes off of her. She wondered if it was the alcohol talking or if she
really did love Ty Lee.
“Azula I have to tell you something.”
“I have to tell you something too.”
“You first.”
“No you said something first.”
“Azula, I’ve been meaning to tell you for a long time now… I should have told
you a long time ago… but I was scared… I mean we both were but…” Azula waited.
She couldn’t believe she was going to let her say it first. But her eyes
widened as she saw something dark approaching behind Ty Lee. She tried to open
her mouth, tried to move to say something. But then suddenly it all went black.
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