Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/22259.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Kingdom_Hearts
  Relationship:
      Riku/Sora
  Character:
      Sora_(Kingdom_Hearts), Riku_(Kingdom_Hearts)
  Additional Tags:
      Dreams
  Stats:
      Published: 2006-02-01 Words: 4864
****** Dream A Dream ******
by Tim_(boywonder)
Summary
     Maybe I'll never really wake up.
***** Dream a Dream *****
Can your new friends give you this?

You're my friend.Mine.

                                          Don't fight me. You know you like it.

 No one can give you this but me. No one else.

 
I would have done it anyway.

Mine, Sora. Remember that.

I wake up too hot and look over at him. His words still echo in my mind, loud
as if he had just spoken them. He doesn't wake up. I kick my way out of the
sheets, half expecting to hear his voice cut through the darkness and scold me
for it. But he still doesn't wake up. I find my shirt and pull it on. My shoes
would squeak, so I leave them and go out into the sand barefoot. If he wakes up
and I'm gone, I don't know what hell there will be to pay. He'd never hurt me
that bad, but he can scare me good if he's in the right mood to. But I can't
stand that room right now, and I'll deal with whatever comes next.
I walk away from the mostly empty building, unable to resist the urge to look
back over my shoulder. For an instant I see him standing there, arms crossed.
Then the image is gone - I just imagined him there. It's nothing new, so I just
keep walking.
The moon is impossibly large in the sky, and bright enough to be somehow
comforting. All three of us used to sneak out and build sandcastles on the
beach here in the moonlight. It seems like that was so long ago.
The lack of her presence on the island both unnerves me and makes me sad.
There's something...odd...about it. I haven't mentioned that to him yet. He'd
just be angry. It's easier this way. I know he blames me for her not being
here, but I also know it's not my fault any more than it's his fault. She told
me long ago in Traverse Town, that she hoped things would be the same between
the two of them, but I doubt it's possible. He's...different now. I pray he'd
never treat her the way he treated me only hours before. I might kill him if he
did. I don't think he would, though. His whispers of cruelty are specially
reserved for me.
It didn't start here. This dark parody of our island isn't what made him this
way. The only different thing about him here is his jealousy. There was nothing
for him to be jealous of before. He's always been possessive. He's always
tended to be mean like this if we're alone. I can't pinpoint when it started.
After she came, I know that. Well, obviously. Before that, we were too young
for this sort of thing. Maybe we still are. Anyway, I don't remember when he
first treated me this way. And I still don't understand why he does it. Or why
I let him.
I turn to go back. This time when I see him standing there, I'm not imagining
it. His eyes are colder in the moonlight. Maybe I'm not smart enough to be
scared right away. Maybe it's my urge to beat him at something, manifesting as
defiance. Maybe it's all a dream, and won't mean anything at all by tomorrow.
"Why did you leave!" It's more of an accusation than a question. I can feel
myself glaring at him.
"I just went for a walk!"
"You could have told me!" As if he needs to know about every step I take, now.
"You'd be grouchy if I woke you." It's a stupid response - he's grouchy now.
But I don't dare tell him the real reason I didn't wake him. I didn't want you
to come with me.
"Come back with me," he says. He holds out a hand to me. I think he knows I
won't take it.
"No. I don't want to. Not yet."
His eyes narrow as he drops his hand. "You won't come with me, Sora?" I hate
hearing my name come out of his mouth like that. Like he has some right to make
me do whatever he wants me to. Like he owns me. I just keep glaring up at him.
For a minute, I think I'm going to lose this staring contest with him, strong
as my resolve is. But he looks away first. I get the feeling I lost anyway.
He's still looking at me like he's mad, though he's not looking directly at me.
"Don't be mad. I just...I just wanted to be outside, you know?" I can tell he
doesn't believe me one bit.
"Is that it. Or did you just not want to see me? Too stuck on your other
friends to even stay with me for one night."
"No! This isn't even about them!"
He turns his head completely away from me. For a second, I actually think he's
going to run off. But I have him figured wrong. He doesn't run off. He runs at
me. I'm not at all expecting it, and we both fall into the wet sand. He manages
to pin my wrists above my head somehow, and I just get mad at him.
"Let me go!"
He stares down into my eyes. I don't like the way he's looking at me, but I
can't seem to look away.
"Never," he whispers. The word scares me just a little.
I open my mouth to say something, though I don't know what. His mouth covers
mine, swallowing whatever words I may have spoken. I can't pull away from it -
he won't let me. He only pulls back, finally, because he's out of breath.
"Let me go!" My words don't have any of the conviction I hoped they would. I
don't think he'd have listened either way, but I'm still mad at myself. He
leans down to kiss me again, but I turn my head and his face lands in my hair.
The hand holding my wrists together tightens almost painfully. His other hand
jerks my face around.
"Don't refuse me, Sora," he says. It sounds like a warning. I think better of
challenging him, at least for now, but he still doesn't let go of my wrists. I
let him kiss me again, but I don't feel like kissing him back. I can feel his
annoyance as he sits up again. The way he's sitting on me, I know he wants to
coax a reaction out of my body, even if he can't get me to do everything he
wants. Part of me can't help but want him, and maybe he knows it. If he moves
against me like that - leaning into me and then leaning back again - he'll get
what he wants. It's infuriating...and also kind of embarrassing.
He gets tired of staring at me, watching me do nothing. He puts his free hand
on my face. I jerk away, just to defy him. His glare hardens, and he pulls my
face back. I make him have to pull my face back a couple more times before I
give in to his touch. I don't want to really make him angry, but I'm not in a
mood to be around him, so I might as well make him work for it. His thumb runs
along my lower lip. I force myself to clench my teeth, but I can't really do it
for that long. I close my eyes and let his thumb slide into my mouth. I can
feel him watching me, and I suddenly wish he wasn't sitting on me like that. I
catch his thumb between my teeth and start to bite down. I feel his hand start
to tighten on my wrists again.
"Don't bite me, Sora," he warns me.
You deserve it. "Why not?" I say. My words are slightly garbled.
"Don't bite me, Sora," he says again, harsher. "I'll make you so sorry if you
do."
I wonder what he means by that, and I think seriously about biting down the
rest of the way and finding out. In the end, I let go and turn my head away
again. This time, he doesn't force me to look at him again. Score half a point
for me.
"Why the hell are you being so difficult?" he asks, almost demanding, "You were
so...so good earlier." Like I'm his pet or something!
"What is that supposed to mean!?" I demand right back, looking into his eyes
again, finally.
He just smiles, as if that's really an answer, and kisses me again. It's more
demanding this time. He's not going to take no for an answer. I can't help but
get mad at him for doing this to me again. It isn't like I don't want him. But
I think I'd be more willing if he wouldn't be so controlling and so damn mean.
He's never really any other way, though, so I suppose I can't expect him to
change now. Doesn't mean I have to like it.
I feel his free hand slide down my side and slip under my shirt. I mentally
curse myself for not putting more clothes on earlier. His fingers trace
patterns on my skin, running along the waistband of my shorts. I can't stop
myself from shivering. I can feel him start to smile, and I finally kiss him
back, just to ensure he doesn't. He has no intention of giving me even an ounce
of control, however, and his tongue pushes almost too far inside my mouth,
forcing me to submit again. I think again of biting him.
His fingers start to go just under the waistband of my shorts, and I kick my
legs. We both know I won't fight him too much longer, so I might as well do a
good job now. He pulls his mouth away from mine and sits almost all the way up
again, putting too much weight down. I glare up at him and kick really hard one
last time. I almost manage to throw him off, but not quite.
"Go ahead. Fight me. You think you can toss me off, Sora?" He's mocking me. I
hear it in his voice. He infuriates me.
I temporarily admit defeat and lay still, purposefully turning my head to the
side. He makes a sound that isn't quite laughter and I wish I had bitten him.
He knows I won't turn to face him, so this time he kisses my neck, close to
where my shirt sits, moving slowly up towards my ear. I realize he's got me at
his mercy this way - I can't pull away without turning towards him. And that
means he'd have access to my mouth again, providing our heads don't bash
together and knock us both out.
His mouth is too hot against my skin, and I try, uselessly, to wriggle away. He
makes the almost-laughter sound at me again. Before I can really get mad at him
for it, he speaks into my ear, "You're not fighting me anymore, Sora. Did you
finally accept that you like it?" As he talks, I squirm. In response, he pushes
his hips down against mine. I bite my tongue to keep from making noise and
squirm harder. He actually does laugh this time, and moves his hips again,
slower. If I bite down any harder, I think I'll bite right through my tongue.
He moves so that he can push his free hand up under my shorts without letting
me go. I think I hate him.
He knows there's nothing under the shorts, but he doesn't move his hand up
quite all the way. He stops far enough up on my leg to be uncomfortable, but
not high enough to be obscene. I try to start kicking again, but the angle he's
laying on me at now prevents it. I give up on it - I'm losing my will to resist
him, anyway. I'm sure that he knows that - I can see triumph in his eyes. I
guess that's better than the coldness I found there earlier.
As soon as he's convinced he's really won, he moves his hand the rest of the
way up. I feel my body arch up into his touch, and I remind myself to be mad
about it later. He's not done teasing me, yet, though - his fingers move away
and he's barely touching me at all. I guess that's what I get for denying him
and making him angry, but I think I hate him again anyway.
He goes back to talking into my ear, moving his hand just enough to torture me.
"Is that what I have to do to get you to stop fighting me? If I'd have known it
was this easy, I'd have touched you here to begin with."
Now I know I hate him. My will to resist come back in full force and I start to
kick again. I actually think he wasn't expecting it, because he almost rolls
off of me. He pulls his hand away and goes back to sitting on me. Thanks to his
torture, this is a much more uncomfortable position for me now.
"Why are you doing me this to me!?" I demand of him.
"Doing what, Sora?"
"This. Working me up and..." I can't find a way to finish the sentence
properly.
He laughs again. "And denying you? Like you always deny me? I could leave you
hard all night and we wouldn't be even."
"I have hands, don't I?" I say.
He raises an eyebrow at me. "You gonna do it yourself, Sora?" The tone in his
voice makes me instantly regret my words. "Are you going to think of me if you
do?"
I can feel the color run into my face, and I turn my face away from him again.
He goes back to kissing my neck. His arousal is undeniable - I can feel how
hard he is when he leans down against me, even through his clothes. I don't
know anymore whether I really want to toss him off again or just give into him.
I have to admit that his touch excites me, even if I'm mad at him. He can scare
me bad - but he can turn me on, too.
He pushes his free hand between us and goes back to teasing me, this time
staying on top of my shorts. I can't decide which is worse. I can feel myself
giving in again. I'm resigned to it for now - I can't help it. He makes me so
mad...but I want him so much.
"If I let you go, are you gonna fight me or run off?" he whispers.
"No...no..."
"I'll catch you if you run." I have no doubt of that.
I don't say anything else. After a minute, his hand finally release my wrists.
I turn my head to catch his mouth with mine and wrap my arms around him. I feel
him smile again, but this time I don't really care.
He sits up again, and I glare at him. He either doesn't notice or ignores me.
"Take your clothes off for me, Sora," he says.
The color comes back into my face, but I manage to tell him, "Kinda hard when
you're sitting on me."
"So I noticed," he says, smiling, "but that's not related."
I'm starting to hate him again. He looks into my eyes for what very well might
be forever. I try my best to keep glaring at him. Finally, he stands up. I sit
up, but I'm not sure I want to just...obey him. I don't want him to get it into
his crazy head that I'm just going to do whatever he tells me. I'm not his toy
or his pet or whatever. I wish I thought I could make him get that.
"I'm waiting," he tells me after a minute.
I think only briefly of refusing. I want him too badly now, though I hope it's
not too obvious. I can feel his eyes run over me as I pull off my shirt. I
don't know why in the hell I feel so...inadequate now - I was naked with him
only a couple hours ago! I stand up and look into his eyes. That stupid triumph
is still there, but there's also a sort of fire there. I know he wants me. It
radiates off of him, and I feel my own desire become kind of amplified by his.
But I still don't take off my shorts.
"Is there a problem, Sora?"
I shrug at him. He comes over, standing centimeters away from me. For a second
there, I think he's mad at me. But then he's kissing me again, so hard I think
I might choke. I feel his hands run down my bare chest. But he's not in a mood
to play with me now, and as soon as his hands reach my shorts, he pushes them
down past my hips and makes them slide off. I pull away from him, intending to
pull my shorts back up. Of course he doesn't allow such a thing. He pulls me
back against him. Again, I feel how hard he is.
"Are you embarrassed?" he asks me.
"N...no!"
He pushes his hips against me, as if I couldn't already feel him. "Don't be."
"Easy for you to say! You still have all your clothes on!" Way for me to prove
how not embarrassed I am.
He laughs and lets go of me. He pulls off his shirt and shorts as if it's
nothing at all to him. Maybe it is, but I'm still embarrassed.
"Now I'm not," he tells me. Like I wasn't staring at him, even now.
This time, when he holds out his hand, I take it.
I can't figure out how we go from standing up to laying in the wet sand again,
this time side by side. His legs are tangled in mine.
He goes back to kissing my neck, moving down and tracing the line of my
collarbone with his tongue. I feel his hand move between us again, and I start
to protest. But he's not teasing me this time. His hand finally wraps around my
erection. I feel like I might come just from that, after the waiting, but I
don't. He kisses my mouth again, and I feel his other arm tighten around me.
Let me go.
Never.
I don't know what makes me hear him say it like that, now, but the word echoes
again in my mind as I come. I know he's smiling, though his mouth isn't on mine
anymore. I just know that he is.
"Why do you fight it so damn hard, Sora? I know you like it."
"Why do you have to be such a jerk about it, Riku?" I shoot back. "Maybe if you
were nicer-"
He cuts me off by kissing me again. I hate him again, but only a little. After
a minute, he pulls away again and untangles his legs from mine. I start to get
mad and demand to know what the big idea is, but he puts a finger on my lips,
silencing me. He stands, and grabs my arm to pull me with him. He walks toward
the water. I'm not really thinking clearly enough to protest.
The water is warm, but I still shiver. There's something almost surreal about
this. Once the water is waist deep (on him, anyway), he stops walking forward
and starts kissing me again. I let him. He runs his hand down stomach, and I
feel my face turn red again as I realize why he pulled me into the water. He
knows I'm embarrassed again.
"It's not a big deal."
"I never said it was!"
"Then why are you so red?"
I splash water at him and turn to storm away. He grabs me and pulls me back
against him hard. I almost lose my balance on the slippery sand, but he holds
me up. I look up, ready to yell at him, but his eyes are much angrier than my
own.
"You just gonna let me get you off and run away, Sora!?" he demands, grinding
his hips into me. I look down, slightly ashamed. He's right to be angry - I'm
being pretty unfair. But he doesn't have to purposefully push me like he does,
either.
"I won't give you something for nothing," he says, almost as if he's
threatening me. Maybe he is. But I still don't look up again.
I feel one of his arms move, sliding down mine. He takes my hand and pulls it
up to rest on his chest. I do manage to look up at him again, hoping I'll get a
hint at what he's planning if I do. Of course, no such thing happens. Our eyes
stay locked as he makes my hand slide down his damp skin, past the line of the
water, to his cock. I try to pull my hand away, though I can't explain just
why, but he won't let me.
"Touch me, Sora," he says.
I shake my head. His eyes narrow, and his grip tightens just a little.
"Do it. I told you, I won't give you something for nothing."
"I don't want to," I blurt out. I wonder if he knows what a lie that is.
"You weren't saying no when it was my hand on your cock." Hearing him say it
like that makes me uncomfortable.
"I...I tried...I tried to..." I stammer.
"Tried to what? Say no? Funny, it sounded more like 'Oh, Riku' to me."
I hate him like never before now. "Shut up!"
I try to pull my hand away again, but he pushes against me. There's no escaping
from him. In the end, I don't really even want to.
His arm tightens around me, and our bodies couldn't possibly be any closer now
unless he was inside me.
He moves my hand, since I won't do it myself. "Touch me, Sora, or I'll have to
find a better way."
"You gonna do it yourself?" I say, throwing his words back at him. I expect him
to get mad at me. But he just laughs. The sound makes my blood run cold.
"I don't have to if you're here."
I don't really like what he's implying with that, and I start to fight him
again. He kicks my legs out from under me and I fall into the water. Two can
play at this game, however, and I knock him down, too. I knew he wouldn't
expect it. He's still somehow faster than me, however, and he's already
standing by the time I am, ready to stop me from running off yet again. He
pulls me close to him, roughly this time. I feel one of his hands run down my
back, and then lower than I want it to.
"You wouldn't!" I tell him, shocked.
"Wouldn't I?" There is no emotion in his voice. I'm too scared to bother hating
him now.
"Touch me, Sora," he says again. I don't tell him no this time.
I move my hand pretty slow at first, still halfway defying him, despite my
fear. After a minute, though, I go faster. His arms start to looses a little,
and I relax some. Well, except for my hand. That just moves faster. Finally, I
feel his body tense. His nails dig into my skin, and he comes, much more
quietly than I ever do. He moves to kiss me, and I pull my hand away. This time
he doesn't stop me.
"Come back to the shore with me," he says after a minute, pulling back enough
for him to look into my eyes. I just nod at him, afraid that if I open my
mouth, something else smartassed will come out of it and make him mad again.
He sits down at the edge of the water, still close enough for the waves to just
come up around his legs. He doesn't seem to have any intention of putting his
clothes back on. I sit next to him, feeling more than a little awkward. He
pulls me closer to him again. I lean against his shoulder, listening to the
sound of the waves.
He's kissing me again. I think we're lying down - I can feel the waves come up
around us. He moves a hand under me and time stops. I kick away from him a
little - he's hurting me more than he needs to, and I'm sure he knows it. He
stops moving his hand, and I can't decide whether to relax or arch up into him.
"Do you want me, Sora?" he asks.
I don't answer him right away. It's not a hard question to answer. I just don't
like to say yes out loud to him. I can't really explain why.
His fingers move inside me and I have to bite my lip to keep from crying out.
"Do you? Do you want me?"
I make a noise that I try to pretend is yes, to get out of saying it. He
doesn't go for it. His fingers move again, just missing the really sensitive
spot inside there. I try to kick away again and escape his torture, but I
can't.
"Yes," I finally say.
"Say it again," he orders.
"Yes!" I say again, annoyed.
His hand starts moving again, and this time his fingers don't miss that spot. I
lose track of how many times he makes me tell him yes. Before I come again, he
pulls his hand away completely. I open my eyes and glare at him again.
"Yes, what?" he asks.
It takes my mind a full minute to process what he's asking me. I glare harder.
"Sora."
"Riku."
He raises an eyebrow at me. "Yes, what?"
I turn away from him, both annoyed and frustrated. He just repeats his question
into ear, sending shivers through me.
"YesIwantyou," I say quickly.
"What was that?" Now he's just being difficult.
"I already said I want you!"
"Say it again."
"I want you," I say again, wanting him too bad to deny him anymore.
"Say my name, Sora."
"What? Why?"
"Say my name." That doesn't answer my question. He moves his hand underneath me
again, but he's only just touching me. I move my hips towards him, trying to
get him to stop teasing me. But he's intent of getting what he wants.
"Riku!" I say without thinking, annoyed at how pleading it sounds.
"Not like that," he scolds me. I want to hit him.
We have another staring match. This time I definitely lose.
I close my eyes, but I can still feel his eyes burning into me. "I want you,
Riku."
I expect one of his infuriating answers, something along the lines of "That
wasn't so hard, was it?" But he doesn't say anything.
He moves into position above me. For a second, I think he's going to be
courteous enough to ask me if I'm ready, but he doesn't. I nearly bite through
my lip, but I can't hold back my cries as he pushes inside me, all at once. He
doesn't wait for me to adjust to him. I think I'm screaming, but I'm not sure.
He finally stops moving long enough for the pain to die down some. I move with
him, finally, and the pleasure becomes more intense than the pain. I can feel
the waves lap up against us, and my eyes slide closed. The rhythm of the water
seems to match the rhythm of our bodies. I feel like we're made of liquid, too.
I can't tell which one of us comes first. I hear him say my name, and the sound
of his voice mixes with the ocean, rising around me all at once.
When I open my eyes again, he's standing up, half-smiling down at me in that
way he has. I smile back.
As I stand up, I get that weird feeling of surreality again. I reach out for
him, say his name, but the roar of the ocean is deafening in my ears. I know
he'll never hear me. I think I might be drowning.
My eyes shoot open and I sit up. It takes me a full minute to realize that I'm
not on the island. I never was. I feel my heart sink, and I roll onto my side.
"WAK!"
I sit up, realizing that I was practically using Donald as a pillow. He throws
a fit, and I'm sure the whole world is going to hear.
"What's the matter, Donald?" Goofy asks, half asleep.
Donald rants and raves unintelligibly for a few minutes. The only words I catch
are "not" and "pillow".
"I'll be back, guys," I mutter. I don't think they hear me, but it doesn't
matter.
I wander out into the streets of Traverse Town, thinking about what might
happen if I were to find out I were, once again, dreaming.
Maybe I'll never really wake up.
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