Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1052264.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M, Other
  Fandom:
      How_to_Train_Your_Dragon_(2010), Beauty_and_the_Beast_(1991)
  Relationship:
      Hiccup_Horrendous_Haddock_III/Toothless, Hiccup_Horrendous_Haddock_III/
      Snotlout_Jorgenson
  Character:
      Hiccup_Horrendous_Haddock_III, Fishlegs_Ingerman, Snotlout_Jorgenson,
      Ruffnut_Thorston, Tuffnut_Thorston, Astrid_Hofferson, Gobber_the_Belch,
      Toothless_(How_to_Train_Your_Dragon)
  Additional Tags:
      Eventual_Smut, Eventual_Fluff, I_Don't_Even_Know, Does_this_count_as
      bestiality?, I'm_Bad_At_Tagging
  Series:
      Part 1 of Dorky_and_the_Dragon
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-11-20 Updated: 2013-11-28 Chapters: 5/? Words: 6597
****** Dorky and the Dragon ******
by CushiKitten
Summary
     A Tale as old as time, and true as it can be. Both a little scared,
     neither one prepared… You know where this is going. Beauty and the
     Beast with a twist. Eventual slash, mature themes, I guess. It
     becomes Porn with Plot later on. You were warned.
     *Update* I'm in the process of moving to a new user name
     (MulaSaWala), so no more updates here. You can find me at
     MulaSaWala.tumblr.com and I have an account here on AO3 as well.
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
***** The Legend of The Night Fury *****
Once upon a time, in a far away land, where gods lived and breathed as mortals
do, there lived a god named Loki and a god Baldur. One night, Baldur dreamed.
In his dream, he saw his death, and in his fear, he made all beings on earth
swear to never harm him. All, except the mistletoe.
Loki, a trickster god full of mischief, tricked the blind god Hoor into killing
Baldur, his brother. All gods wept at the loss Baldur, who gave love and
happiness to all. In his anger, Thor threw his hammer Mjollnir to the ground,
just as Hel opened her gates to let out a flood of tears.
Mjollnir struck a stone submerged in Hel's tears, before returning to the hand
of Thor. The stone turned into an egg that hatched into a child. Loki found
this child, and raised him as his own. He named this child Night Fury, the
unholy offspring of lightning and death.
The child grew to become a prince, who lived in a shining castle. Although he
had everything his heart desired, he was spoiled, selfish, and unkind.
One night, an old beggar woman came to the castle, offering him a single rose
in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her haggard appearance,
the prince sneered at her gift, and turned the old woman away. But she warned
him not to be fooled by appearances, for beauty was found within. And when he
dismissed her again, the old woman's ugliness melted away, to reveal the
goddess Frigg, wife of Odin the Almighty and mother of Baldur. She had planned
to take the life of Loki's child in return for her child, but could not do it.
Instead, she had devised a test, an homage to her son Baldur, who had been
light and beauty and love and happiness. But this child of Loki's had failed,
and must now pay the price.
The prince tried to apologize, but it was too late, for she had seen that there
was no love in his heart. And as punishment, she transformed him into a beast,
and placed a powerful spell on his castle and all who lived there. Ashamed of
his monstrous form, the prince concealed himself in his castle, with a magic
mirror as his only window to the outside world.
The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until
his twenty-first year. If he could love another, and earn love in return, by
the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would
be doomed to remain a beast for all time.
As the years passed, he fell into despair and lost all hope, for who could ever
learn to love a beast?
***** Ingerman Ink *****
Chapter Summary
     Here we have a glimpse of Burk, Hiccup, and Fishlegs.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third was tired of Burk. Every single day was
exactly like the one before it, and if it wasn't, it made you wish it was. Burk
was the kind of place where you were never dry, where it snowed nine months of
the year, and hailed the other three. It was great if you liked looking at
dramatic landscapes, but if you'd lived there all you life like Hiccup did, the
place lost its drama pretty fast.
But it wasn't the landscape that Hiccup had trouble with. The landscape was
just fine. He was used to it, after all, He'd been born here. No, what Hiccup
really wanted to get away from were the people of Burk. Like, right now.
Every single day, since Hiccup could remember, he'd woken up at the crack of
dawn to visit his best friend, Fishlegs, who minded the town bookshop while his
parents were away, which was always. Thinking about it, Hiccup was surprised
that Burk had a library, but since it occupied him, he guessed it didn't really
matter.
So, since he went to the bookstore every day, you'd think the people of Burk
would get used to that, but no. As he walked down the street, past that single
bread-making Viking who made horrible bread (He could do better than that!) and
made the same thing every day, he could still hear them whispering behind his
back.
"…there goes that Hiccup.."
"…poor Stoick…"
"…I still can't believe it, he looks so normal…"
Hiccup hatedbeing born in Burk. Everyone knew everyone, which meant anyone who
was anyone knew his secret, his shame. He ducked his head as he passed a couple
of young bucks eyeing him wearily.
"…freak…"
He felt his face heat up as he passed, and as he walked slipped into the
Ingerman Bookstore.
'There's got to be more to life than more of this…'
"Good Morning, Fishlegs."
"Good Morning, Hiccup."
Meet Fishlegs Ingerman, Hiccup's best friend. Fishlegs was the only one in Burk
who could give Hiccup a run for his money in the reading department. Fishlegs
was tall, and he used to be thinner than Hiccup, but the years of immobility
spent reading were catching up to him, apparently, because Hiccup would eat his
own hat if Fishlegs could still touch his toes.
"Here's that book I borrowed."
Fishlegs held his hand up absentmindedly (and in the wrong direction) for the
book. He pushed his glasses up with his other hand as he kept on reading.
"Took you long enough." Fishlegs said, without any real irritation in his
voice. He looked at the number of the page he was on before getting up to
return Hiccup's book to its rightful place. Books were about the only thing
Fishlegs could keep in any kind of order. Hiccup had to gingerly hop between
the loose odds and ends in the Ingerman Bookstore before he could get to the
shelf he was aiming for.
"Hey, Fishlegs, I'm going to take The Dragon Manual, okay? I'll bring it back
in a week." Hiccup called out, hopping to the door.
"A week!? How could you take a whole week to finish one book?!" Fishlegs wanted
to know.
"I read it more than once, you blockhead." Hiccup laughed.
"More than once!?" Fishlegs was shocked. Well, he tried to act shocked, but
Hiccup could hear the joking tone in his voice.
"Yeah, Fishlegs. Some people savor reading a book. We don't hork it all down
the way you do."
"You're just jealous I can read faster than you can." Fishlegs said smugly.
Hiccup reached the door. 'Finally' he thought. 'Maybe I'll help Fishlegs (or
rather, make him help me) clean the shop up a little when I get back.'
"I'll be back later," Hiccup called over his shoulder as he left. "I just need
to run some errands for my dad."
"Tell him and Gobber I said Hi" Fishlegs replied.
"Will do!" and Hiccup was gone.
Chapter End Notes
     Be honest, are they too out of character? I'm trying to make it a
     mixture of the book series and the two movies, and I'm not sure I'm
     succeeding. Also, are the lyric shout-outs noticeable?
     As always, feedback is appreciated!
***** You're Positively Feudal *****
Chapter Summary
     We meet the rest of the gang.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
As he left the store, Hiccup visibly retreated into himself. He put his nose in
the book to avoid prying eyes. As he walked to Gobber the Belch's Blacksmith
shop, he deftly avoided obstacles in a way that would have made even Astrid,
the town's best, proud. It was a saying in Burk, that Hiccup was never more
coordinated and careful than when he wasn't paying attention.
Thwok!
An arrow shot past Hiccup, burying itself into the wood he'd just passed,
barely missing him. And while Hiccup didn't notice, the person who shot the
arrow did.
"Hiccup!" yelled Snotlout.
And miracle of miracles, Hiccup looked up! He looked around and caught sight of
Snotlout, looking genuinely pleased (if a bit uncomfortable) to see him. Hiccup
closed the book he was reading (one of the best compliments he could give) and
turned to talk to his cousin. Who was positively livid.
"Hiccup!" he cried.
'Oh, great,'Hiccup wanted to rub his face with his hands, 'Noweveryone's
looking'. Not that they weren't looking before, but this was worse. Now they
actually had something to look at. But Snotlout wasn't done yet.
"Look at the arrow behind you! I could have killed you!" Snotlout shook Hiccup
by the shoulders, which made Hiccup drop his book right into the mud. Hiccup
sighed. He turned around to look the arrow and humor Snotlout…
… and nearly poked his eye out on the arrow's nock. Even Hiccup was a bit taken
aback. It was close. Snotlout reached over Hiccup's shoulder to snap the shaft
(presumably so no one would get poked by the protruding arrow), but Hiccup
stopped him.
"Don't. It'll be easier to remove the head if the shaft's still attached to
it."
"Right."
Hiccup looked around. The people around them suddenly sprang back to life, as
if they'd never stopped working to gawk in the first place.
'Fakers,' Hiccup thought crossly. He picked his book up, and started walking
again. As he expected, Snotlout fell into step beside him. Hiccup opened the
book again, only to have it snatched away by Tuffnut, who held it above his
head. Hiccup was Not Amused.
"Give me back my book, Tuffnut." Tuffnut ignored him.
"How can you read this?" Tuffnut asked. He threw the book over to Ruffnut.
"Yeah," Ruffnut agreed. She scrutinized the pages (as much as she could while
keeping the book out of Hiccup's reach) "It doesn't have any pictures or
anything."
"Some people use their imaginations," Hiccup snorted. He made a particularly
brilliant leap, and Ruffnut had to pass the book on to Astrid. Hiccup didn't
even try to get it back from her. She could kill him with her pinky finger and
had no problem showing him. She skimmed the pages then shut the book.
"This book is just about dragons." She sneered. "It's useless. Dragons are
pests. Our real problems are the Meathead and Bog Burglar Tribes."
She threw the book to Snotlout, who (after being mysteriously useless for the
past few minutes) handed it back to Hiccup. Astrid left, with Ruffnut and
Tuffnut in tow for some training, leaving Hiccup and Snotlout alone.
"You should keep better control of your friends," Hiccup said, dusting off the
book's cover.
"I can't really, you know, control them." Snotlout scratched the back of his
neck. "But they've got a point. You should focus on more important things, like
training to become stronger, so that you can lead the tribe when the time
comes."
"Me, lead?" Hiccup laughed.
"You are the chief's only son. We can't exactly pick anyone else."
"You do it. You're my cousin, you're as much the heir of the Hairy Hooligans as
I am."
Snotlout looked aghast. "We can't do that. This isn't The Republic of Rome! And
I was adopted, remember? Not a drop of royal blood."
Hiccup raised an eyebrow. "How positively feudal of you, Snotlout." He said.
"Thank you," Snotlout replied. "Of course," He said sneakily "If we got
married, our problems would be solved. I could rule through marriage and you
can have as much free time as you want under my protection."
Hiccup stiffened. While men marrying men weren't uncommon in Burk (not enough
women), Hiccup, in particular, refused to marry anyone. Because marriages in
Burk just had to be consummated. People knowing about his…defect was completely
different from someone actually seeing it. He shook his head.
"You know I can't, Snotlout. We're friends."
"Ah well," Snoutlout said lightly, "can't blame me for trying!"
Snoutlout watched as Hiccup practically ran off, with a mumbled goodbye, face
once again in a book. Snotlout started walking towards the training grounds as
soon as Hiccup was well and truly out of sight.
When he got there, the others were well into training, throwing axes and
punches at each other. They just sort of tolerated Hiccup, because they didn't
know yet what a great chief Hiccup would make.
To be honest, Snotlout wanted to become the chief of the Hairy Hooligans too.
But ever since the day Hiccup had saved his life, he'd known that Hiccup had
something that would make him a better leader, and a good Viking always put the
good of the tribe before anything else. If he married Hiccup and became chief
himself , Hiccup wouldn't be able to resist meddling in his decisions (because
they were married, and Snotlout's father said that all wives meddled),
effectively becoming chief in everything but name.
Snotlout smiled and yelled as he dived into the 'training' (read: fight). He'd
have to settle for being second-in-command, then!
Chapter End Notes
     This has got to be the most out of character Snotlout ever. I was
     going to make him an exact copy of Gaston, but then…it just sort of
     turned into this. I was writing this at 2 in the morning, and I had
     class tomorrow. Is it that bad?
     Anyway, Toothless will be along in the next chapter. As always,
     feedback is appreciated!
***** Bye Dad *****
Chapter Summary
     Stoick and Gobber in the house, yo.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Hiccup arrived at his house just as Stoick finished packing his things. Hiccup
was surprised. Were they going on a hunting trip? Stoick turned to greet his
son.
"Ah, Hiccup, just in time! Did you get those extra arrows from Gobber for me?"
He asked.
Hiccup resisted the urge to slap his palms to his face. He knew he was
forgetting something. Stupid Snotlout, distracting him like that.
"Sorry, Dad," Hiccup apologized. "I guess I forgot." He looked at his shoes.
Stoick gave him a strange look for a moment, so quick Hiccup was sure he
imagined it, before giving a big laugh that sounded fake and forced even to
Hiccup.
"That's okay, Hiccup" He said "You'll remember next time." He gave Hiccup a pat
on the head.
"I'm going dragon hunting, okay? Be careful while I'm gone." Stoick said as he
was leaving. Hiccup couldn't take it anymore.
"Uh, Dad!" Hiccup winced at his own voice. That was loud. Okay. Deep breaths.
"Maybe I could, I don't know, go with you?" He gave a half-hearted smile.
"Uh…you see…um," Stoick fumbled for the right words. He couldn't find them, so
he just said.
"Maybe next time, Hiccup." And he left. Hiccup wondered why that answer still
disappointed him.
PAGEBREAK
"What am I going to do with him, Gobber?" Stoick took another swig of his beer.
"Hiccup? That's easy; let him train with the others. We need more warriors to
fight those Meatheads." Gobber replied.
"I'm serious."
"So am I!"
"Are you kidding? He'd be killed by the other children, never mind letting
those Meatheads taking a whack at him."
"You don't know that."
"Yes, I do."
"No, you don't."
"Yes, I do!" Stoick sighed. "He has the… he was born different, I guess."
"How do you know that?" Gobber wanted to know. "You weren't there. You just
found him in the cabbage patch, remember?" Gobber chuckled. That would never
get old.
"You know how he is," Stoick was dead serious. "I take him on a fishing trip,
and he nearly drowns looking for mermaids. He's just not reliable," Stoick
tapped his temple with a finger. "Has the attention span of a sparrow."
"When he was just a baby," Stoick started. (Gobber rolled his eyes. 'Here we
go…')
"When Hiccup was just a baby, Me and Valhallarama, we didn't know what to do.
We decided to raise, well, a him, but he seems so unhappy. Maybe that was a
mistake. "
"Now, don't say that." Gobber said. "It's like I told him just a little while
ago, it's not what's outside that counts. I mean, take a look at that little
girl Astrid. She could wipe the floor with any of the young lads her age."
"So, Hiccup's weak on the inside?" Stoick sounded more hopeless than ever.
"I didn't say that." Gobber sighed. "You've just never given him a chance,
Stoick. He was sickly as a baby, so you protected him, I get that. But you have
to let him do things on his own. Which is to say, stop bailing him out of his
own messes. And let him at least train with a real sword, for Odin's sake"
Gobber took another sip of his beer, and choked on a small rock. They were
silent for a while. Stoick because he was thinking, Gobber because he was
choking.
"Maybe you're right." Stoick said as he pounded on Gobber's back. "You know, he
always wants to go dragon hunting with me."
Gobber finally caught his breath. "You see? He may not want to fight the Bog
Burglars, but he'll keep them dragons away."
"Tell him to meet me by the inland lake west of Raven's Peak in two days."
Stoick smiled. "We're going dragon hunting."
PAGEBREAK
"Augh, I don't believe this." Hiccup ranted to himself. This was the worst day
ever.
He walked through town for the second time that day, feeling foolish. How could
he have forgotten to get his father's arrows? He was nearly shot by one this
morning! He had his eyes set determinedly forward as he marched on to Gobber's
blacksmith shop. He was there on most days, helping sharpen swords and fix
broken shields. But winter was coming, so business had been slow. During
winters, he only went there every other day, more to keep warm and experiment
than anything.
'This is exactly why he still treats me like a little kid.' Hiccup thought
sullenly.
Hiccup remembered a time when Stoick got angry at him for messing up. Nowadays,
he didn't even bother. His dad treated him with this strange mixture of acting
like he was waiting for Hiccup to fall short, but never being disappointed in
him. That hurt. Hiccup briefly wondered what it would be like if his father
actually had dreams for him, expected more from him than failure. Hiccup
wondered if it was because he'd been born different.
He smiled a little and slowed down as he remembered the story his mother and
father used to tell him every night before… well, Before.
Once upon a time, in a far away land, there was a cat, who could turn into a
boar or a mare as she wished. But what she really wanted was to turn into a
goat, for she was in love with a goat, who could run faster than the wind
itself. But she could never tell the goat she loved him, for she lived in the
clouds above, while he lived on the earth below.
The goat, she didn't know, loved her as well. But he could never tell her, for
he was just a goat, and she deserved more.
At night he would wish on the stars,
' Please, please,' he'd say, 'I'd do anything for her, for she is my life and I
love her. If I could speak to her just once, I would go to my grave content.'
The others who lived in the clouds heard his plea. So they stole her shoe, and
dropped it to the earth, where the goat would find it. When she found her shoe
was gone, she descended to earth to look for it.
'Where is my shoe?' she cried. The goat came forward, and said.
'Here is your shoe.' And he returned it.
He saw that she was the cat whom he loved, and she saw that he was the goat she
loved.
'It is you!' they said. And they knew that it was fate that had brought them
together. They made love, and had a child.
"And do you know who that child is?" Hiccup's parents would ask.
""It's me!" He would reply.
'The story doesn't make any sense.' Hiccup thought, now that he was much too
old for fairytales.
The boy arrived at Gobber's blacksmith shop, surprised. He hadn't noticed how
he'd walked all the way there.
"Hiccup!" Gobber said, surprised. "I was just about to come get you!"
"You were?" Hiccup was curious.
"Your father," Gobber said "Wants to take you dragon hunting the day after
tomorrow."
"That's not funny." Hiccup drawled, Not Amused. "Seriously, did you need my
help or something? Does someone want a new sword for their wall?" Designing and
making weapons for display was one of the things Hiccup was very good at.
"I'm not kidding!" Gobber said, exasperated. "Why does everyone think I'm
kidding all the time?" He wanted to know.
"You're serious?" Hiccup was stunned. A great big smile started to spread
across his face. "That—that's Awesome!"
'Finally, he's giving me a chance!' Hiccup thought jubilantly.
"Bye, Gobber, I've got to get ready!" He said hurriedly as he left the shop.
'This is the Best Day Ever!'
"Hey!" Gobber called out. "He also said not to forget the arrows this time!"
Chapter End Notes
     Sorry for the late update. I made a first draft, but I decided Hiccup
     was too angsty, so I scrapped the entire thing and started from
     scratch.
     The story's kind of taking a life on its own. And I didn't think
     mythology would play such a big part of it, but there you go. Those
     of you more familiar with Norse and Greek gods will probably see
     what's coming. I'm trying to drop as many hints as possible without
     spelling it out, so no one's blindsided.
     To those of you wondering where Toothless is , I'm sorry it's taking
     so long. He's probably going to appear in the chapter after the next,
     but I'm not making any promises.
     Oh, and the Green Death doesn't exist here so the dragons don't
     really "raid" the vikings, so they're more pests than anything. The
     same way wolves or bears must be pests in, like, Russia or something.
     Or coyotes in Australia.
     Also, there are a few sidefics to this series, some stories that
     didn't make it to the main story. I had fun writing them and
     hopefully you'll have fun reading them.
     As always, feedback is appreciated.
     Thanks to everyone for reading!
***** Training Wreck *****
Chapter Summary
     Hiccup isn't prepared.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
For the rest of the day, Hiccup was in father-acceptance induced heaven. He
drifted in and out of the Ingermans' bookshop and Gobber's blacksmith shop,
collecting things he might need, asking questions about anything
hunting–related he could think of, and generally annoying the heck out of both
Gobber and Fishlegs.
"For the last time, Hiccup," Fishlegs would say exasperatedly, "No, there
aren't any books about hunting dragons besides the ones you already have."
"Are you sure?" Hiccup would ask, only half paying attention.
"Yes, I'm sure. Go bother Gobber for a while." Fishlegs would wave him away.
And he would go to Gobber, who would say pretty much the same thing, only about
weapons that could slay dragons.
They spent most of the rest of the day like that, But Gobber and Fishlegs
didn't mind, really. They were mostly happy to see Hiccup so excited. They
weren't the only ones, however.
Spitelout, Snotlout's father, was an ambitious man, and unscrupulous, but not
necessarily in that order. He was Stoick the Vast's younger brother, though you
wouldn't know it from looking at him. Whereas Stoick had red hair and a full
beard, Spitelout had black hair and a (mostly) shaven face. Where Stoick was,
well, vast, Spitelout was lean and muscled, though they were pretty much the
same height. But Most Importantly, while Stoick's eyes were kind and smiling,
Spitelout's were unfathomable and just a little cruel.
Spitelout had always been jealous of Stoick for becoming chief of the tribe,
though over the years, he'd learned to hide it well. But he wasn't hiding it
very well right now. The cogs and gears in his head turned as he saw Hiccup
making his way back and forth across town. He knew that Hiccup was going to the
inland lake west of Raven's Peak the day after tomorrow (Gobber didn't know how
to keep his mouth shut). If he had an accident on the way there…
Spitelout thought about it, but no. If Stoick lost his heir, a substitute
wouldn't necessarily have to be in the family. It would have to be the most
promising child of the same generation. And, regretfully, that wasn't his son.
It was that girl, Astral or something. Spitelout shuddered at the thought of a
woman leading the Hairy Hooligans. Only the Bog Burglar barbarians did that.
'But if I get my son married to that Hiccup, then he'd be Stoick's son-in-law,
technically making him an heir too!'
And just like that, Spitelout decided he'd marry his son to that Hiccup, and
then maybe afterwards he'd kill him.
Spitelout left the pub and headed towards the part of the forest he knew his
son and his friends used as a training area. There was a formal one in Burk,
but it was mainly used by young men who had time on their hands and veterans
who wanted to stay in shape, not fifteen year olds who didn't know their swords
from their shields.
When he entered the clearing, the Thorston twins were wrestling on the ground,
pretty evenly matched. His own son was barely holding his own with that girl
Astral in a swordfight.
'Well, not really my son,' Spitelout tried to make himself feel better as
Snotlout received a particularly hard hit on the head with a wood-covered
sword. Snotlout had been left on his doorstep years ago when he was just a
baby. It was a sign from the gods. He was being given a perfectly healthy baby
boy while his brother got, well, Hiccup. He thought that made it perfectly
clear who the chief should have been, but no. He never got anything he wanted.
He had to take everything for himself. And he would too, eventually.
"Thanks for waiting dad." Snotlout jogged up to his father. He had seen him
there a few minutes ago, and had tried to finish the fight as quickly as he
could, but Astrid hadn't wanted to let him go until she did the Berserker's
Bash right. Which, you can imagine, took some time.
Spitelout looked down at his son. Right. "Come with me." He started walking.
Snotlout ran back to get his things, said goodbye to his friends, and caught up
to his dad.
"What's up?" Snotlout asked, trying to sound casual. His father wasn't the
warmest person in the world, and didn't exactly seek him out to ask how his day
was.
"Son," Spitelout began. "How do you feel about that Hiccup?"
Spitelout thought his son did a great job concealing his thoughts. He was so
proud!
"He's okay, I guess. He should totally work out more if he wants to match these
babies." Snotlout flexed his arm, showing off his muscles.
Spitelout resisted the urge to roll his eyes. 'Patience' He told himself. 'He's
still just a child.'
"You see, I overheard back in town that he's going out to Raven's Peak to go
hunt dragons." Spitelout explained. Snotlout's expression, which he really
couldn't hide this time, told the man where to go from there.
"He's, well, he's not strong, son, at least not like you." He made a 'worried'
face. "I'm just concerned that, well, he might get hurt trying to impress his
father."
"Stoick," he continued, "He's not a bad father, son, I don't want you thinking
that. I just think he's trying to make Hiccup into something he's not, and I
think that's dangerous." Spitelout was delighted with his son's reaction.
Perfect.
"Dad!" He was clearly upset about it. "We've got to do something, he could get
seriously mauled, even by just a Terror! If he—"
"Calm down," Spitelout told his son, "See, it's a horrible state of affairs,
right? So I got to thinking, and here's my idea. Marry Hiccup."
Snotlout tripped. "But he— and I— We don't—We're—" He sputtered. "That doesn't
solve anything!" He finally got out.
"Hear me out," cajoled Spitelout. "To my thinking, here's what would happen. If
you marry that Hiccup, you have an excuse to protect him as much as you want.
And since you're both technically heirs, between the two of you, no one would
be able to take away the chieftainship."
"I don't know, dad." Snotlout replied, unsure. "I don't think that's a great
plan. It could work, maybe, if he—"
"It's decided then!" Spitelout pretended not hear. "I'll arrange the wedding
feast, you go propose."
Spitelout broke away and headed to Burk's town square. Snotlout was surprised
to find that they had walked all the way to the chief's house. Maybe he could
talk Hiccup into not going hunting for dragons. He approached the dwelling
gingerly, almost sneakily, but he might as well not have bothered. The house
was empty. All he could find were Hiccup's woefully over packed bags. He
removed some of the least necessary things (like books), and put in some of the
more necessary things (like firestones and his extra dagger).
'Odin's beard, the dragons are going to have a field day with him.' He thought.
His father's plan, it was stupid, but letting Hiccup go would be pure madness.
He left, thinking things over very carefully indeed.
Unbeknownst to Spitelout, if he'd thought to check the clearing behind the
house, he'd have found Hiccup training with Gobber and Fishlegs. Both had
finally gotten fed up with the boy, and decided that Hiccup was going to annoy
them anyway, he might as well have some bruises to show for it. Well, that was
Gobber, anyway. Fishlegs just wanted to go back to the store and read. Or look
for the others and hang out. Anything would have been better than watching
Hiccup struggle with the sword.
"Put your back into it!" bellowed Gobber from his perch on a large rock. Hiccup
swung the sword, but even Fishlegs could repel that attack, and he did, with
ease.
"This isn't working! Let's try something else." Fishlegs insisted.
"No! I can do this!" Hiccup was adamant. But, remember, this was the first time
he'd ever held a sword to use it, not just to sharpen it, or to put designs on
it, or to make one from scratch.
"Hiccup, it's hopeless. Let's try something else." Said Gobber a few minutes
later, after Fishlegs knocked the sword out of Hiccup's hands for the umpteenth
time. Fishlegs sighed with relief while Hiccup sighed with disappointment.
Gobber held up a bow and a quiver of arrows. "Let's try these." He threw them
to Hiccup, who caught the bow, but not the quiver. Arrows went everywhere. As
Hiccup and Fishlegs bent to collect them, Gobber called out ("Fishlegs!") and
threw him a shield that had a bull's-eye painted clumsily on its surface.
Fishlegs paled.
"You can't be serious!" He sounded panicked, starting to edge away from Hiccup
until the entire clearing separated them
"Oh, but I am. Go for it, Hiccup!" Gobber looked positively evil.
"Come on, Fishlegs!" Hiccup pleaded, already nocking an arrow into his bow. At
least he was taking the proper stance, arms at eye level and legs braced a
shoulder's width apart.
"I've done thisbefore—" and Hiccup released the arrow. The good news was that
the arrow flew straight enough, certainly straighter than Gobber or Fishlegs
thought it would. The bad news was that it fell short, burying itself at
Fishlegs' feet.
"That's not fair! There must be something wrong with this bow's draw-weight!
Gobber, what kind of wood is this? It looks kind of like yew, but—"
"Hiccup!" Gobber interrupted. "That is not the problem! If the target is far
away, you…?" Gobber gestured to Fishlegs, who was still trying to hide behind a
shield that was nowhere near large enough.
"Oh." Understanding dawned on Hiccup. Moving target practice. "Right. Get ready
Fishlegs!" He nocked another arrow.
"Odin help me, aim, Hiccup, aim!"
"Maybe I would if you'd stop moving—!"
"BWAHAHAHA—" Gobber chocked on his amusement.
And they spent the rest of the morning like that. For almost an hour, Hiccup
ran after (and shot arrows at) his friend, who ran away just as fast, while
Gobber laughed his head off.
"Hey, no fair!" Ruffnut's voice suddenly rang through the clearing. "I didn't
know Gobber was giving training sessions!"
"Who cares?" Tuffnut's voice followed predictably. "It's not like I need
training, anyway. I'm already the best this place's got— "
Tuffnut flicked his hair. Astrid disagreed with him by catching hold of his
fingers and bending them back. Tuffnut fell over; Ruffnnut laughed.
"No you're not."
"Ow, I am hurt, I am hurt very bad!"
"So," Astrid looked at Hiccup "Can we join you, or is this a private training
session?"
(After Snotlout had left, the three of them couldn't decide how to train, so
they had gone looking for Fishlegs to make the teams at least even.)
Hiccup and Fishlegs looked at each other. Training with Astrid, not to mention
the twins, did not Sound Like Fun. At least, not if you didn't enjoy pain.
Of course, Gobber had to say "Sure! In fact, we'd welcome you! Hiccup's about
to go off slaying dragons, so we need all the help we can get!"
The three newcomers were silent for a moment. While it wasn't as important as
fighting the other tribes, the death rate for dragon slayers was much higher.
"Finally, man, some balls. I was beginning to doubt you had—" Tuffnut didn't
get to finish his sentence. Ruffnut elbowed him in the stomach while Astrid
stomped on his foot.
"Let's go!" Astrid said, overly enthusiastic. "What do we do first?"
"Well," Gobber rubbed his chin with his remaining hand. "I think we can pretty
much agree his sword fighting's hopeless."
"Yeah." ("Hey!")
"And his archery's as good as it's going to get for now…"
"How about we work on evading capture?" Ruffnut suggested, evil glint in her
eye.
"That way, even if he can't kill the dragon, it can't kill him." Astrid added.
"Good idea, Ruffnut!" Gobber agreed. "Hiccup, pay attention. They," Gobber
pointed to the Astrid, Tuffnut, and Ruffnut. "Will be trying to kill you."
("I'm not loving it so far." Hiccup said under his breath)
"And you will try to not get killed while trying to take their weapons, which
you'll give to Fishlegs here."
Everyone looked at Fishlegs. He gave a small wave.
"You three will not be allowed to take your weapons from Fishlegs, but, as
always, Hiccup is fair game. If he manages to take one weapon from all of you
and give them to Fishlegs, he wins."
'Yeah, right, like that would ever happen.' Four minds thought privately. (That
was everyone except Hiccup himself and Fishlegs, who was always trying to have
more confidence in his friend.)
"Well, what are you waiting for? Go!" Gobber barked.
Hiccup stood nervously as the three of them began to surround him.
"Well, don't just stand there Hiccup! Do something!" Fishlegs hollered, trying
to be encouraging.
"I'm thinking!" Hiccup hollered right back. The three of them were getting
closer…
Suddenly, as if by a secret signal, they all ran at him! Hiccup didn't know
which way to turn, unable to decide who he was most afraid of, and so ended up
buried under three struggling bodies.
"I've got him!"
"That's me, you idiot!"
"With the two of you get off!"
Hiccup wiggled out from under the pile, holding Ruffnut's dagger as he ran full
speed towards Fishlegs.
"Go Hiccup!" Cheered Fishlegs. Unfortunately, that made Hiccup's pursuers
realize that 'Hey, he's not here anymore!'.
They untangled themselves, but it was too late. Four shocked faces Hiccup threw
the dagger to Fishlegs, who caught it triumphantly.
"Whoo! Go Hiccup!" He cheered again.
Gobber had an astonished smile on his face. "Well done, Hiccup! There may be
hope for you yet!"
But Hiccup wasn't feeling very hopeful. The three of them surrounded him again,
but this time with a different strategy. Ruffnut jumped at him first, being the
smallest risk since Hiccup had already taken a weapon from her. She caught him
in a bear hug, and laughed as Hiccup struggled to get loose.
"You should be thankful, Hiccup! Guys would kill to be in your—"
Hiccup reached up and grabbed one horn of her helmet, pulling it over her eyes.
She immediately let go to fix it, and Hiccup ran. He was free!
But not for long, it seemed. Even as Astrid ran to help Ruffnut, Tuffnut ran at
Hiccup, sword out held above his head. Hiccup's eyes widened.
"Tuffnut, are you insane?"
Hiccup turned around, but Ruffnut was free. She and Astrid ran at him. 'What to
do, what to do…!' Hiccup thought, panicking. He made a decision.
'If Tuffnut isn't going to play fair, then…'
Hiccup turned back around and ran right into Tuffnut. This disoriented the
larger boy only for a second, but that was all Hiccup needed. Hiccup kneed him
in the groin. Hard.
Tuffnut tumbled to the ground. Hiccup himself winced in sympathy, and he could
faintly hear Gobber's laughter from somewhere far, far away, but he was too
full of adrenaline to pay attention.
"Oh, Thor's—" Tuffnut made a gargling sound at the back of his throat. "Not
fair! Not Fair! Not Fair!"
Hiccup picked up the sword from where Tuffnut had dropped it and ran to
Fishlegs.
"That's two!" Fishlegs was suitably awed. "I've got to say Hiccup, I'm
impressed! I— Look out!"
Astrid swung her axe at Hiccup, trying to scare him. Fishlegs ran out of the
way while Hiccup backed up, dodging (even if Astrid wasn't really going to hit
him. Right?).
Astrid was so busy swinging and making sure Hiccup could dodge what she threw
at him that she didn't notice the tree behind him until she hit it.
Thunk!
Her axe buried itself into the trunk of the tree. She struggled to pull it out
and, after a moment, Hiccup joined her. Together they pulled it out. Astrid
turned now to Hiccup to pull it out if his hands, but something tugged at her
skirt, distracting her.
Hiccup pulled the axe out of her hands. She saw a dagger pinning her to the
tree. 'Sneaky.' She nodded approvingly as she pulled it out.
"I've got it! I've got it!" Hiccup yelled as he ran.
"Hiccup, give me back my axe!" Astrid threw the dagger aside and gave chase.
"Make me, you lunatic!" was his reply.
It was the last round, Tuffnut was still down, and Hiccup had managed to get
Astrid's axe. Ruffnut stopped laughing at her brother and joined Astrid. the
two girls gave it everything they got.
But if there was one thing to be said about Hiccup, he was great at running
away. This way and that, he dodged. Not even Astrid could keep him in a hold.
He wriggled out of both their hands like a slippery eel.
"What are you, part eel!" Astrid cried angrily, getting frustrated that Hiccup
of all people could escape her so consistently. "You're cheating!"
"Am not!" Hiccup was getting close to Fishlegs, the two girls hot on his heels.
Finally, Ruffnut managed to catch him by the scruff of his vest just as Hiccup
threw Astrid's axe to Fishlegs. It didn't make it.
"Aha!" Ruffnut yelled. But, in a manner that reminded them all of a snake-type
dragon unhinging its jaws, Hiccup drew back his arms and slid out of his vest,
not even losing his momentum. He picked up the sword and threw it again, just
as the two girls tackled him from behind.
It landed right between Fishlegs' feet.
"Odin's beard," Fishlegs picked up Astrid's axe almost reverently. "Hiccup
wins." He whispered.
"Hiccup wins!" Gobber yelled, overjoyed as well. 'Wait until I tell Stoick..!'
Hiccup, who was at this point too tired to wriggle out from under Astrid and
Ruffnut, didn't hear. He was pleasantly surprised that the girls helped him up
after getting off him, but was astonished when they put him up on their
shoulders. His face colored and he tried to get down, but the girls were having
none of it.
"You did it, Hiccup!" Astrid cried. Although she technically hated to lose,
this was a victory for all them, somehow.
"Way to go!" Ruffnut cheered, raising her free arm to shake her fist in the
air. "That was great!" She said. "I can't believe we haven't done that before!"
Hiccup looked behind him and saw Gobber, Fishlegs, and Tuffnut marching behind
them. Even from his perch, Hiccup could see that Tuffnut was walking funny.
All the way down to Burk's only pub, they made their way, like a demented
parade. When they got there, they proceeded to drink until they couldn't
anymore, talking about battle strategies, dragons, and what have you. Hiccup
brought Tuffnut a drink as an apology, to which Tuffnut replied, "Are you
kidding? You're kick didn't hurt, I just wanted to give you a chance was all.",
but he accepted it anyway, because who turned down a drink?
It was the first time Hiccup had hung out with the three of them without
Snotlout there to act as a buffer. He had a blast. When it was getting late and
everyone was heading home, Hiccup was still smiling. Even as he fell into bed,
boots and aches and pains and all, (And he'd have to remember to go out back to
get his stuff tomorrow), he was still smiling.
'Definitely the best day ever.' He yawned.'Can't wait for tomorrow.'
Chapter End Notes
     Anyway, I posted this late, and I'm sorry to everyone. I had trouble
     with this chapter. Mostly because of the length, which is actually
     enough for three, maybe four, of my usual chapters. To head off some
     questions, Hiccup's not particularly bent on hunting dragons,
     actually. Think of it as football. Stoick enjoys football, so to gain
     approval, Hiccup starts memorizing how many passes got fumbled by his
     dad's favorite team last season, or something else totally obscure
     about the sport.
     Please don't hesitate to ask questions, which I actually enjoy
     answering. As always, much love to the people who read, and hugs to
     those who give feedback!
End Notes
     This is a repost from FF.
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!