Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/2252298.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Supernatural
  Relationship:
      Dean_Winchester/Sam_Winchester
  Character:
      Dean_Winchester, Sam_Winchester
  Additional Tags:
      Oral_Sex, Anal_Sex, Rimming, Bottoming_from_the_Top, bottoming_from_the
      bottom
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-09-04 Words: 2996
****** Divided ******
by HappilyInhuman
Summary
     Dean is just trying to be a good brother and smother his stronger
     feelings for his brother. Sam has other plans.
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
It's incredibly funny how driving past a simple home on a car ride can tell one
so much about the house's occupants. In a split second I am given a golden
opportunity to observe things that most people think trivial, details which
give me a glance into the life of the everyday person. Ever since I was young
it was my own little secret that I loved looking out the windows of the impala
most when we drove down the residential streets. Sometimes I would see other
kids playing games with their friends, or waiting at bus stops, or getting into
the car with their entirely normal parents.
 
In a way I knew that I might never be able to have a normal life, and I would
probably never be free of the family business. There were times I got so angry
with my damn brother for being so damn okay with the way our young lives were
turning out. I was barely twelve, and I was beginning to realise how screwed up
our family business really was. Strange as it was, Dean seemed not to have
caught on yet, even at sixteen.
 
As much as it hurt to admit it, I knew I was a child. Children belong in a
stable home, a bed of their own, a school to attend each day...children need
constants. Right then I only had three constants: Dad, the impala, and Dean.
The bed beneath me changed every two to three days, the school changed every
week or so. The food depended upon what was available at the time and what Dean
wasn't too lazy to make. Meanwhile, there were always different kids, different
libraries, different channels on the fucking television, different landmarks,
and a different school bus.
 
It probably wouldn't have been so hard to deal with if Dean at least tried to
sympathise with me. He didn't though, because Dean was always doing what Dad
said.


The first time Dean caught me sneaking out of the motel room in the middle of
the night I was fourteen. I hadn't known how to react to being caught. When
Dean grabbed my wrist and pulled me back toward the motel doorway I couldn't do
anything but huff angrily and tell Dean how much I hated him. Of course I
didn't hate him-but he didn't need to know that.
 
"Dean?" In said the next afternoon as we sat alone in the motel room. When I
said it my voice cracked. I hadn't fully hit puberty yet.
 
Dean didn't look at me. "...Sammy."
 
"I don't hate you." Finally he turned around and sat down on the small couch
beside me.
 
"I know, Sammy." He paused, not completely sure where to go from there. He
settled on asking, "What is it you even wanted to go out for?" I swallowed and
refused to answer.
 
He sighed.
 
"Hey it couldn't be too bad, Sammy. You're getting older, and you'll be
interested in alcohol and girls and stuff." I looked up at him in disgust.
 
"I wasn't going out for alcohol or girls!" I stood up and started to walk
around the small room angrily, "I was going out to get away fromthis." I said,
gesturing all around the room. He was watching me with wide eyes as I
continued, "I wish you could understand how I feel Dean, and you should...but
somehow you don't. You  understand that I want to live in a house! I want a
permanent address or at least area code for Christ's sake!"
 
"Sam," Dean started, dropping the nickname for the sake of seriousness, "I do
understand how you feel. I feel it sometimes too...but you need to understand
that this is the life we have to live and there's not anything we can do about
it."
 
I scoffed, "Dean, Dad has chosen this life for us. He isn't going to be able to
order me around for ever-Hell, you're already old enough to leave and you
don't, which I don't understand. Long story short Dean, when I turn eighteen I
am going to make my own decisions and lead my own life. I can't wait to get
away from all this shit."
 
"You're fourteen Sam! You don't know how you're going to feel in four years!
Your feelings are bound to change."
 
"Don't you dare," My eyebrows furrowed, "try to tell me that this is a phase."
Dean almost could have shivered, the room cold with the seriousness dripping
from my tongue. "I am a human fucking being Dean. I can think critically and
make my own decisions-and I don't know what on Earth you think you're
protecting me from...but I'm not buying it, Dean."
 
"Okay then Sam, have your ideas. I don't feel like arguing with you. Just leave
me alone." I frowned, almost feeling bad about what Dean had said.
 
I flopped down on one of the beds, closing my eyes and trying to pretend I was
miles away in a bed of my own in a bedroom on a second story floor of a
suburban home with a kitchen and two and a half baths like all of the normal,
permanently placed middle class families on most of the television shows I had
a tendency to watch when I didn't have homework.

Two years and a seven inch growth spurt later and I had become a lot better at
sneaking out of our motel room without waking Dean or drawing any unwanted
attention to myself.
 
I went out one night in mid May to meet up with some kids of my class. We were
drinking, eating easy snacks and watching bad movies until seven in the
morning, leaving me almost no time to get back to the motel and back into bed
before Dean usually woke up.
 
I snuck in around seven fifteen and tiptoed into the bathroom and flushed the
toilet so it would seem as if I had only gotten out of bed to go to the
bathroom. When I exited the bathroom I could barely see anything, it was
extremely dark because the blinds were closed and the curtains tied tightly
over them.
 
I exited slowly and headed over the rough, cheap carpeting toward where I
vaguely knew the two queen size beds to be before trying to slowly lower myself
onto one of them. I sat silently on the edge of the mattress for a moment,
listening and wondering why Dean's breathing sounded so loud before suddenly my
face was bombarded by the light from Dean's bedside lamp as he reached out from
under his covered and switched it on.
 
"Sam?" He said in surprise. It was then that I realized I wasn't sitting on my
own bed.
 
I was sitting beside Dean.
 
"Hmm?" I asked, as though I wasn't there by accident, but rather by careful
planning. He sat up and leant toward me, no doubt smelling the lingering scent
of beer on my breathe.
 
He paused, "You're drunk." He said, a statement. "That doesn't happen often."
He says, no doubt thinking of all the times I'd sat in the bar with him doing
homework or reading while he did all the actual drinking.
 
"So?" I asked dumbly, leaning toward him too and putting a hand on his
shoulder. I had never intended to get so close but it was too late now anyway.
 
Dean furrowed his eyebrows and tried to pull his shoulder from my grasp, "So
where on Earth did you go while I was sleeping!" Dean said angrily.
 
"Calm down." I said, pausing and putting a hand beneath Dean's chin. I had
already reached his height. I was already taller than him infact, I was sixteen
now and puberty wasn't as new as it had been the first time Dean had found me
sneaking out. I smirked, "It doesn't really matter." I told him.
 
I could tell Dean was tired, and he soon tried to lay back down, "We can talk
about this when the sun is fully up." He tried to lower himself back to his
pillow but my arm was still on his shoulder and my other hand beneath his chin
and I wouldn't let him go.
 
"'I don't want to talk about it later." I made clear.
 
"What do you want?" Dean asked, furrowing his eyebrows. I paused and grinned
before leaning forward and kissing him. He didn't respond out of shock for a
few moments, and when he finally did it was negative, pushing against my chest
until I let him go. I didn't know why he didn't want to kiss me-I'd heard him
saying my name in the bathroom before while taking care of himself many times.
 
I paused, "Isn't this okay?"
 
Dean looked up at me sadly, "I want it, but what would Dad think?" I almost
growled I was so angry, I jumped off of the bed and punched a large gaping hole
into the wall before turning back to Dean.
 
"I wish that for just one second you could stop caring so much about what Dad
thinks!" I couldn't help saying it, and it wasn't until I saw Dean looking up
at me with his eyes large that I felt bad about yelling.
 
"Sam." Dean said gathering himself together and standing up in front on me, "I
can't stop caring what Dad thinks." He was speaking incredibly softly, "It's
all I've ever known." He paused. "I love you Sam...In the huggin' and kissin'
sort of way...but I'm too afraid." He laughed then, "I can fight Vampires and
ghosts, or anything else thrown my way on a hunt but kissing you? I'm too much
of a coward."
 
"Stop." I said, "Please don't say that..." I could feel the alcohol being
processed through my body,  my intoxication slowly becoming hangover and it was
all too fast-I was exhausted.
 
Dean could probably see it in my eyes.
 
"Dean...you don't understand how fucked up I really am." I said, knowing that
it was true, "My life is fucked Dean, I have no home, no permanent school, and
on top of all that I'm in love with my older brother."
 
"Please go to sleep Sammy..." He told me, "When you wake up I'll make you
coffee and then we can talk more."
 
I paused, contemplating my options. "If I go to sleep, can you go to sleep with
me?" Dean smirked and without a reply lowered himself down to his pillow before
making room beside himself so that I could lay down beside him. Once we were
both situated he turned out the light.

I woke to an empty bed and the wafting smell of coffee throughout the motel
room. Dean was clearly making sure he did exactly what he had told me he was
going to do. I rolled over to meet the sight of the digital clock brightly
proclaiming that it was 3:00 in the afternoon. Dean had kept the shades and
curtains closed for me while I slept, a kind gesture which kept the room dark
and cool-very comfortable for sleeping.
 
Having heard me roll over in bed, it was then that Dean came back to me, a
steaming mug of coffee in his hand which he promptly sat down beside the clock.
"Rise and shine, Sammy."
 
I couldn't help but immediately grab at the coffee and start chugging it, my
head was slightly pounding and I could barely think straight. If coffee could
alleviate my pain even the littlest bit then I would definitely take all that I
could get of it. As I drank he turned around and opened one of the curtains so
that he could look out the window, a gesture which I took to my own advantage
once I had finished my coffee. I snuck up behind him, took hold of his hips,
and kissed his neck from behind, causing him to jump.
 
"Geez Sammy," He said, rubbing the back of his neck, "Kiss me once and it's
like you have no shame anymore."
 
I paused as I sat my head on his shoulder, still holding him from behind. I
wasn't sure yet how I felt about his previous sentence. "Should I be ashamed,
Dean?" I asked, and I could feel his muscles tense at being asked the question,
as if he were nervous.
 
"I'm not sure." He answered simply.
 
I paused, "Are you worried about Dad?" I asked.
 
"That's partially it." He replied.
 
"So what else is it then?"
 
"I don't know Sam."
 
I pulled away, releasing his hips and going to get some more coffee. I wondered
if he was ashamed of me, and I wasn't sure whether he was or if he simply
thought that he himself was something to be ashamed of. I paused in the doorway
without heading back toward Dean, leaning against the wall and taking a sip of
my coffee. Dean looked up as I said, "I love you,  you know."
 
He closed his eyes for a few seconds, not knowing how he wanted to respond.
"What should we do Sammy?" He sounded incredibly sincere in his questioning.
 
I smirked, "Whatever you want."
 
He grinned,  "That isn't what I meant, but I suppose I'll take it." He said.
Then he paused before saying, bluntly,  "I want you to take off your shirt."
Though I could tell that his cheeks had turned just a little bit red,  I could
also tell he meant what he'd said.
 
I peeled off my shirt.
 
I didn't quite have a rock hard abdomen yet, but I thought I was getting pretty
close to having a six pack, and I could tell Dean was pretty impressed too. He
took a moment to take in my physique before adding, "Pants and boxers?"
 
I took them off at once, revealing my size to Dean, and I could see him
physically gulp. His pants weren't loose to begin with, but by now I could see
his excited sex straining against the fabric of the jeans, very interested, and
practically twitching in anticipation. I wanted to release him.
 
I walked over, putting my fingers over the buttons to his jeans. I leant down
so my mouth would be beside his ear, asking, "Is this okay?"
 
"Yes..." He replied, also nodding in his anticipation. "Just take 'em off
already." I laughed as he did and quickly undid the buttons, pulling down the
fly and helping him out of them. "Shirt, Sammy." He reminded me before pecking
me on the lips. I pulled the shirt off of his body before reeling him back in.
 
I kissed him in a way I had never kissed anyone before.
 
There were plenty of girls I'd kissed to look the part, trying to make friends
at each school - and those girls were people with feelings and I held respect
for them...but they weren't Dean. Dean I kissed hard and feverishly as if any
nanometre of space between us was too much. I kissed Dean like there was never
going to be another Dawn and tomorrow was a lie and there was no time for
taking anyone for granted.
 
I kissed Dean like I'd never love anyone else...and I wouldn't.
 
I pushed him backwards onto the bed after that, pulling down his boxers and
letting him free. I paused, "How do you wanna do this?" I held his dick in my
hand gently, needing to hear Dean's opinion.
 
"I want you to enter me." He said, face turning red at the words that had just
slipped from his mouth. I smiled before leaning down and licking a stripe up
his shaft.
 
He moaned, arching his back before slowly calming down for a second...before I
engulfed his entirety in my mouth. He was breathing heavily,  moaning and
fisting the sheets as I bobbed my head. I then slowly pulled away from his cock
and dipped my head lower. I gripped his thighs and elevated them before
bringing my mouth to his entrance, tonguing it impatiently.
 
I could feel my own arousal pressing into the sheets and I knew I needed to get
him prepared as quickly as possible.
 
I continued to press my tongue against his entrance for a moment before finally
slipping it past the tight ring of muscles, working them as loose as I could
before pushing further.
 
"Sammy...Sammy...I think I'm ready." He moaned eyes closed and upper body
arching again, overwhelmed by pleasure.
 
I smiled against his slicked skin before pulling my mouth away, positioning my
dick where my mouth had been seconds earlier,  and pausing. I looked at Dean
before leaning down and kissing him again. I couldn't resist it, he was laying
there looking so sexy and ready for me.
 
"I love you," he mumbled against my lips.
 
"I love you too." I said, slowly beginning to push myself inside him. I held
him tightly,  positioning each thrust in a way I knew would get the best
results. It wasn't long before I found his prostate, making him scream and dig
his nails into my back. He clung to me hard, breathing erotically as I
continued to thrust inside of him.
 
After a few minutes I repositioned us, pulling him into my lap so that he was
on top as I continued to thrust-up now-into his body. He moaned and laid his
head on my shoulder, arms wrapped around my shoulders.
 
My own hands were holding his hips, bringing his body up and down, up and down
upon me. It wasn't long before Dean yelled and released between us before
becoming as limp as a rag doll in my arms. I came inside him with a grunt not
too long afterward, breathing deeply and holding him gently.
 
After we both caught our breath I looked at him, kissed him deeply and then
slowly pulled myself out of him.
 
He was the one who looked tired now, I thought, amused.
End Notes
     Sam taxed dat ass.
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