Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/9003751. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Major_Character_Death, Underage Category: M/M Fandom: 亜人_-_三浦追儺_&_桜井画門_|_Ajin_-_Miura_Tsuina_&_Sakurai_Gamon Relationship: Satou_|_Samuel_T._Owen_/_Tanaka_Kouji Character: Satou_|_Samuel_T._Owen, Tanaka_Kouji, Tanaka_Kouji's_Parents Additional Tags: Unreliable_Narrator, Abusive_Relationships, Manipulative_Language, super unhealthy_relationship, (Slightly)_Underage, Tags_Past_This_Point_Will Spoil_a_Reveal, So_Stop_Reading_if_you_don't_want_Spoilers, Cannibalism, Body_Horror, Demons, Alternate_Universe_-_No_Ajin Stats: Published: 2016-12-24 Chapters: 8/8 Words: 8786 ****** Demons Are Like Dogs; They Come When Called ****** by Romiress Summary My Ajin Secret Santa fic for Karaii! Kouji is torn up by the thought of losing his mother until a totally- not-sketchy stranger decides to do something about it. This fic is heavy on 'unreliable narrator' and 'abusive relationships' tropes. ***** Chapter 1 ***** Yuto is a good friend, but the last thing Kouji wants at that moment is a good friend. He wants to be left alone in his misery, left to sulk at the edge of the schoolyard. Yuto won’t let him. He lingers despite Kouji’s obvious desires, and when Kouji gives in, he sits right down beside him, reaching out to touch his back in what is undeniably a gesture of comfort. “I’m here if you want to talk,” Yuto says, his voice grating on Kouji’s nerves. He doesn’t want to talk, and he’s not sure how much clearer he can be about that. He decides to say it, because Yuto has always responded well when he answers him directly, and significantly less so when it comes to picking up social cues. “I don’t want to talk about it,” Kouji says quietly. “I want to come to school and pretend like everything's normal, like my life isn’t falling apart.” “Your life isn’t falling apart,” Yuto says, as if he really knows. Truthfully, Kouji doubts he knows even that much, because he’s kept his lips sealed. At best, Yuto knows something is wrong, but beyond that, he knows nothing. Kouji’s certain of that much, and yet Yuto’s voice--so confident--makes him second guess himself. He twists his head to the other boy, his lips pressed together in a tight, unhappy line. “You don’t know that,” he replies. “You don’t even know what’s happening.” “I know your mom is sick,” Yuto says, and Kouji’s head snaps up, startled and confused. He doesn’t even need to ask, because Yuto’s already responding to his unasked question. “My dad and I saw your father at the hospital when we went to visit my uncle. He asked me to keep an eye on you at school. He said he’s worried about you.” Kouji wishes--desperately wishes--that his father had kept quiet. He didn’t want people to know, and he certainly didn’t want Yuto to know. Yuto might very well be his only remaining friend, and Kouji doesn’t want things to change. He doesn’t want things to change, but he keeps pushing people away anyway. “I’m here if you want me to come with you,” Yuto says, which seems oddly affectionate to him. “Thanks,” Kouji mutters in response. “I’ll keep it in mind.” He has no intention of ever taking Yuto up on his offer. ===============================================================================   His father seems small and frail as he sits beside the hospital bed, staring down at the thin figure in the bed. Every day he’s prepared for his mother to be smaller and weaker, and yet he’s still not prepared to see how his father seems to shrink with each passing day. “Kouji,” his mother says, her voice small. “Make sure your father eats enough.” Kouji doesn’t think his father has eaten anything in days, but he nods anyway. “I will. I’ll make sure he eats,” Kouji says, his voice cracking. He stays with his mother as his father is called into the hall to speak with the doctor, holding her small hand in his own. She isn’t up to talking, and Kouji can’t find the words anyway, so there’s only silence. His father is silent on the drive home, and it isn’t until they’re in the house that he says anything at all. “They aren’t sure,” he says at last, his hands balled into fists. “They don’t know what’s wrong. She might get better. She might not. They’re saying we should just wait a few weeks and see if she gets over it.” Kouji doesn’t know how it’s possible she could just get over it. Not when she’s already so thin and pale. Not when she looks like she’s a minute away from death at all times. “We should stay there,” Kouji says quietly. “I don’t want to be at home if something happens.” “Nothing’s going to happen,” his father says. “You should be going to school. You should be around your friends.” Kouji doesn’t want to be around anyone, but if he has to be around someone, he wants it to be his mother. “I’ll stay at the hospital,” Kouji says quietly. “I don’t want to not be there.” “She’ll be fine,” his father insists again. “Stay home. Go to school. I’ll call you if anything changes.” ===============================================================================   The park should be happy. It should be filled with pleasant memories, and Kouji feels like he’s ruining it simply by being there. His mood is tainting them all, and he can’t do anything to stop himself. He feels like he’s poisoning everything he touches with his misery. He doesn’t notice the man until he’s only a foot away, the tips of his shiny black shoes appearing in the edges of Kouji’s vision. His head snaps up, suddenly aware that he isn’t alone, and likely hasn’t been for several minutes. The stranger isn’t a mugger, or if he is, he’s the most well dressed mugger Kouji’s ever run into. It’s not so much his clothes--upper middle class at best--but instead the fact that he’s simply extremely well put together. There isn’t a hair out of place, and he could easily walk into a high class bank without raising an eyebrow, even though he’s only in a collared shirt. Kouji guesses that he’s older than his father by the silver of his hair, but he somehow manages to look almost younger. He’s undeniably older, but he lacks all the signs of stress that marr his father’s face. “You look quite lost in thought,” the man says, his smile easy and his posture relaxed.  He’s a stranger, but Kouji finds himself somewhat at a loss for words. HE doesn’t want to be rude--his mother would be horrified--but he doesn’t want to talk either. The man saves him the trouble. He simply reaches out, flipping his hand around to present a small stone to Kouji. It’s the size of a golfball and pure black, so dark it seems to absorb the light itself. Perhaps most bafflingly, he doesn’t recognize it at all. It’s a complete mystery to him, even though the man holds it out as if it’s his. “For you,” the man says after a moment. Kouji doesn’t take it. He’s not an idiot, and the man is a stranger, even if he doesn’t act like it. “Are you... do you know my father?” Kouji says after a moment, taking a stab in the dark. The corner of the man’s mouth twitches with obvious amusement. “No,” he replies. “I know you, Tanaka Kouji. I suppose it would ease your mind for me to explain that this is a cintamani.” Kouji has absolutely no idea what that is, and it obviously shows on his face, because the man lets out a sigh. “A wish granting jewel. Think of it like a genie’s lamp, only without the need for a genie.” Kouji glances around briefly, half expecting to see a classmate watching the entire bizarre prank. The entire thing is absurd, the man knows his name, and the very idea of some kind of wish-granting jewel is ridiculous. “I have to get going,” Kouji says as he pushes himself to his feet, but the man goes nowhere, the smile never leaving his face. “Your ability to care for others is your greatest strength, Kouji. Even so, you need to worry about yourself as well. You’ve been hoping for a miracle, and no one has come. You simply need to accept it.” The man raises his hand, the jewel still held tight, and then drops it. There’s something odd about the whole image of it, but Kouji doesn’t get a chance to think about it. Without even thinking Kouji’s hand darts out, catching the jewel in his palm.  It feels strangely light, and he looks up to find that the man has already started to pull away. “Wait, hold on-” Kouji splutters out, unable to process the situation beyond confusion. He doesn’t understand anything that’s just happened, but the situation isn’t becoming any more clear just by standing there. “You want to help your mother, don’t you?” The man says, an eyebrow raised. “And now you are. Accept the gift, Kouji. Keep it with you.” He doesn’t get a real chance to argue, because the man is already leaving, despite Kouji’s confused attempts to get him to stop. He doesn’t understand the situation, and he’s so thrown off that he can’t even figure out how to argue properly. The man is simply gone before he can even figure out what to say to him. He stares at the man’s retreating back for a long, long moment before shoving the stone into his pocket, doing his best to put the entire bizarre encounter out of his mind. ***** Chapter 2 ***** Kouji doesn’t plan to keep the stone with him. It’s not a decision he makes, but when he puts his hand in his pocket the next day, the stone is there anyway. He takes it with him when he goes to the hospital, and does his best to put the entire bizarre encounter out of his mind. He has other things to focus on. His mother is just as small and frail as she was the day before, her body hidden beneath the sheets of the hospital bed. Kouji takes his usual spot beside the bed, watching the slow rise and fall of her chest as he tries not to think. Thinking is bad; Every time he thinks about things he ends up thinking about what might happen, and there’s no happy end to be found. “We just have to wait,” his father says quietly. “The doctor’s don’t know for sure. She might get better.” Kouji’s heard the words she might get better a hundred times, but they never sound convincing. He feels like his entire life is slowly collapsing around him. He sits quietly at his mother’s bedside as nurses and doctors come in and out. Some check her vitals on the monitors beside the bed. A few make changes, but mostly simply observe. Kouji pays them little attention, staring down at his mother as the hours tick by. There’s the soft clink of metal as the IV stand shifts beside the bed, but Kouji doesn’t look up until he feels his mother gently touch his hand with her own. “Kouji,” she says quietly. “Shouldn’t you be getting home?” Kouji glances up, but his response is lost midway out his mouth when he spots the doctor at his mother’s side. It’s the man from the park, smiling kindly down at him. He’s wearing a lab coat and certainly looks professional, but all of a sudden the stone in his pocket feels like a massive weight. “Kouji?” His mother says, stealing his attention. He snaps his head towards her, tearing his eyes away from the man. “Oh - uh, probably. I wanted to wait for dad to get back,” he says, glancing briefly towards the door. “I’ll be fine,” his mother says gently. “You should get home. Your father will be back soon, and I don’t want you to miss the bus back.” Kouji doesn’t care about the bus. He wants to ask what the hell is going on, why the man from the park is standing at his mother’s bedside like he belongs there. She doesn’t seem bothered by his presence, and Kouji wonders if he’s always been her doctor, and he just didn’t notice. “I - I’ll get going,” he says, changing his mind. Better not to say anything that might upset her, especially considering how unsure about the situation he suddenly is. Maybe he’s wrong. Maybe the doctor was always there, and that was why he recognized him in the park and knew his name. The stone feels heavy in his pocket as he excuses himself from the room to return home. ===============================================================================   The doctor is there the next day, and the day after that. He never says anything, but even so Kouji can feel his gaze. He keeps the stone with him, a heavy and yet almost reassuring weight in his pockets every visit. He feels oddly superstitious about it. He tells himself that he doesn’t really believe that the stone is magic, but it simply seems easier not to take any chances just in case it is. He almost asks his father a dozen times about the doctor, but can never quite make himself do so. He knows how crazy it’ll sound, and more than anything he worries his father will take it as a sign he’s spending too much time at the hospital. He waits until he’s alone with the doctor, his father out collecting food, before he says anything at all. “I don’t think I caught your name, doctor...?” He says quietly, flicking his eyes up to the man only briefly. The man simply smiles down at him impassively. “Ah, Doctor Satou at the moment.” Kouji spares another glance up at him, bewildered by the choice of words. The at the moment is throwing him off in all the worst ways. The man doesn’t say a word, simply smiling down at him. “Alright,” Kouji says when it becomes obvious that the man isn’t planning to continue. “You can call me what you’d like, Kouji.” The fact that the man is painfully, horribly polite doesn’t help things. It’s hard to feel suspicious of a man who is best described as grandfatherly, even if his actions certainly deserve just that. “Satou, then,” he says, just to test the waters. Satou’s smile doesn’t even flicker. “Why -” Kouji blurts out, second guessing himself and closing his mouth, the question unfinished. Satou cocks his head in response, his attention obviously on Kouji even if his eyes aren’t even open. “Why didn’t you say you were my mother’s doctor? I thought you were some... some crazy old man,” Kouji says after a pause. He knows how bad it sounds, but how bad he words things doesn’t change the fact that it’s true. The entire experience was both alarming and entirely unnecessary. “Did it really matter? Everything has worked out for you just fine, and your mother is already healing.” Kouji can’t help but jump at that, bewildered by the very idea. “What - no one’s said anything-” “She’s healing,” Satou says, cutting him off before he can splutter any more. “Healing isn’t instant, and it will take time for her body to recover. You simply need to wait.” “But the doctors-” Satou interrupts him with a sigh, and Kouji goes silent, suddenly embarrassed. The man is doctor, and he would absolutely have a better idea of the state of Kouji’s health then Kouji himself. There’s no reason for him to second guess it, even though it’s the first he’s heard of his mother doing any better. Suddenly there’s a hand on his shoulder. It isn’t comforting, and there’s something uncomfortable about it, but Kouji keeps his mouth shut. “Trust me Kouji,” Satou says quietly. “I would never lead you astray. Your mother will start to visibly improve by the end of the week, and in two, she’ll be able to sit down and eat with you properly. You have nothing to worry about.” It’s only when Satou pulls his hand away that Kouji realizes what’s been throwing him off, and he wonders how he managed to go so long without noticing. “You -” Kouji says before abruptly realizing that it would be insanely rude to draw attention to it. The man saves him the embarrassment, holding up his right hand and wiggling his fingers--all six of them. The entire thing is like an art error in real life, like the hand of god simply forgot humans were only supposed to have five fingers and added a sixth. It’s perfectly lined up with the others, and looks so natural that Kouji decides that that must be the reason he didn’t notice it. “Nothing to worry about,” Satou says pleasantly. “Although it tends to catch people off guard when they first notice.” All of a sudden Kouji feels impossibly guilty. The man has been nothing but polite to him, despite how rude he’s been. He’s done nothing but try to help, and yet all Kouji’s done is be suspicious. “I’m sorry,” Kouji says, bowing deeply. “I’ve judged you unfairly. I was too focused on myself...” “Not at all, Kouji,” Satou says, showing no sign he’s bothered or affected by the bow itself. “You weren’t focusing on yourself at all. You were only worried about your mother, and I know you’d do anything for her. That’s why I’m here.” Everything about what Satou’s said makes Kouji feel good inside, and he gives the man a small, timid smile. “You should be getting home, Kouji,” Satou says. “You’ll miss your bus.” He says his goodbyes and excuses himself, and it’s not until he’s on the bus home that he stops to wonder how Satou knew he was worried so badly. ***** Chapter 3 ***** Satou is right. His mother does feel better by the end of the week, and she’s well enough to join him and his father in the cafeteria the week later for dinner. Kouji feels a weight lifted off his shoulders, and for the first time in months he feels good. It is a relief so great he feels like he might cry. His father encourages him to spend less time at the hospital since the danger has passed, but Kouji insists on spending more, not less. He has better perspective--he knows what’s at stake, and he has no intention of letting even a single day go by without spending time with his mother. It doesn’t hurt that Satou carries right on being his mother’s doctor as she recovers. He goes from being a stranger to a constant presence in their lives almost immediately, and Kouji’s relieved to see that his father is just as happy with the doctor as he is. “I have some news,” Satou says when he lets himself into Kouji’s mother’s room one day. “Which I’m sure you’ve been waiting for.” Kouji’s head snaps up, and his father’s does as well. Even his mother sits up a bit more to look at him. “I’ve just cleared you with the other doctors, and we feel you’ll be ready to go home tomorrow. You’ll still need to come in several times a week for checkups to be sure you stay healthy, but you’ve recovered enough that keeping you in the hospital is counterproductive.” Kouji should be elated. Instead, he feels oddly let down, like someone’s just let out all his air out. It takes him a moment--listening as his father discusses the details with the doctor--to realize what it is. His wish is over. He still doesn’t feel like it was really a wish--he’s not crazy, and he knows wishes aren’t real--but that doesn’t stop his heart from falling anyway. “Oh, Kouji,” Satou calls, glancing towards him. Kouji does his best to snap out of it, lifting his head and smiling like he knows he should be. “I already spoke to your father, but if you have the time, I’d love to hire you to help me move. I have a small office here, but I’m converting to a home office as my hours are reduced, and I’d rather have someone helping who I know, rather than a stranger.” Kouji feels his heart swell, and he nods before he even really thinks about it. There’s no reason not to. Even though Satou hasn’t said anything about being paid--it does sound a lot like a job, and he did say hired--he doesn’t really care anyway. He wants to help. He feels like he owes Satou a lot considering his mother’s recovery, and he feels happy to be around him. “I mean,” Kouji says quickly. “I’d be happy to help. You’ve done a lot for my mom, and if I could do anything...” “You’ve already done plenty,” Satou says. “As it turns out, we’re almost neighbours. I live only a few blocks down from you, which is one of the reasons I asked. I’m not sure I’m up to moving everything by myself at my age, but you seem strong enough it shouldn’t be an issue.” Kouji flushes red, dropping his head to hide it as he nods. Satou keeps right on smiling at him for a moment longer before turning back to his parents to continue their discussion, planning out the next day. ===============================================================================   Bringing his mother home lifts the last of the weight off Kouji’s shoulders. He feels relieved to an almost impossible degree, flittering around the house cleaning up so that everything is perfect when his father pulls up in front of the house. His mother’s still sick, but she’s nothing like she was, and Kouji’s happy to help her with things so that she feels comfortable. He feels like, for the first time in months, everything is going to be alright. When he goes to help Satou moved, dropped off by his father, he doesn’t even mind that Satou hasn’t brought up payment. If Satou just wants him to help for free, then so be it. As it turns out, Satou wants nothing of the sort. He has money already ready when Kouji arrives, and promises of even more when he finishes. Despite that, the work itself is easy. Kouji’s free to chatter away as they move, carrying boxes back and forth. He doesn’t have to pack anything up, and Satou makes things easy for him. It takes several trips to load Satou’s truck, but when they finally arrive at his house, Kouji’s excited to see that Satou’s exaggerated. Satou isn’t even a few streets away--he’s only two streets away, and Kouji could walk home inside of five minutes. Even better, despite all of Satou’s comments about him being too old to do the move on his own, he’s doing just fine. He can lift boxes just as easily as Kouji can despite his significantly smaller size, and he never complains when doing so. “You shouldn’t be paying me at all,” Kouji says as they near the end of the boxes. “You’ve been doing just as much work as I have, and I’m happy to help.” It really doesn’t feel right to take money for so little work, but Satou simply brushes him off as usual. “It isn’t an issue, Kouji. I’m here for you, after all.” Kouji’s heard a lot of slightly unusual things before, but he can’t quite let that one pass. “What do you mean?” He says, squinting in Satou’s direction. He doesn’t really get an answer. Instead, Satou chuckles, collecting the last box from the truck and turning back towards the house. “You’re a fine young man, Kouji. You put others first, and I’m simply happy to return the favor.” Kouji’s cheeks go pink, and he looks away, refusing to make eye contact until his blush dies down. ***** Chapter 4 ***** The move isn’t the last time he sees Satou, much to his relief. Kouji misses his mother’s first check up, but when he returns home from school his father announces that they’re having Doctor Satou over for dinner, and sets Kouji to work getting the house ready. It’s the first time Kouji’s seen Satou in anything other than a lab coat, and the sight of the man in a suit makes his face burn. There’s no reason for it. A suit is a perfectly acceptable thing to wear when invited over, and Satou wears it so well that Kouji doesn’t feel out of place, even though he’s only in a collared shirt. Even so, his face burns anyway, and Satou simply gives him a brief smile that Kouji tries not to read into. “You’re doing well?” Satou asks, making polite small talk as they eat. Kouji nods his head once, only giving the question an actual response when his father glares at him for being rude. “School is alright. We’re doing a lot of exams, since it’s my last year,” Kouji admits. Alright is probably a bit too polite. Awful is probably more accurate. “School can be quite challenging,” Satou agrees. “Do you have plans after you graduate?” Kouji’s heard the question a thousand times, but coming from Satou it takes on a different light, and he squirms a bit in his seat. “I’m not sure,” he admits. “I sort of wanted to be a doctor and do something that would help people, but my grades aren’t going to be good enough for it.” “Have you considered becoming a nurse?” Satou asks, raising an eyebrow. Kouji goes even redder, saved only slightly by his father’s snort. “If he’s not going to be a doctor-” “Nurses do a lot of difficult work,” Satou cuts in. “Just because it’s less intellectually rigorous doesn’t mean it’s not still a good job, and if Kouji wants to help people, it would be an excellent place to start. Depending on the state of his grades going into final exams, he might still need to pull them up, but there’s no reason he couldn’t pursue that if he wants to.” Satou’s smile is still there, but his attention is like a knife, intense enough that Kouji’s father goes silent, looking flustered. “I think it’s a good idea,” Kouji’s mother ventures. “I think Kouji would do a good job at it.” “So all that matters is if Kouji wants to,” Satou says, turning his head back to him. Kouji suddenly feels like everyone is looking at him, dropping his eyes down to the table. “I... don’t know,” Kouji says. “I’m not sure if I’d be able to.” “I’m sure you would be,” Satou says firmly. “The only question is if you want to.” Kouji doesn’t know. He wants to help people, but he doesn’t knowwhat he wants to do. He never has, and for ages he’s worried that he never would, either. “If you think it would fit me,” he says after a long pause. “I think - I think I might look into it.” Satou’s smile seems to widen slightly, and then he nods, glancing back to Kouji’s father. “I think it would. Your son is always thinking of others first, and that kind of empathy is an excellent trait for a nurse.” Kouji’s father nods immediately, and Kouji’s mother can’t help but smile ear to ear. “I think he’d be excellent at it,” she says. “Kouji’s done such a great job helping me out with things since I got back.” Kouji’s pretty sure his ears are on fire he’s so embarrassed, and he makes a point of staring hard at his plate. “If you’d like, and you bring me your transcripts, I could take a look and see what the next step is for you. I doubt the counsellors at your school would know the best way to go into nursing. If anything, they’d discourage you entirely.” Kouji’s sure that Satou’s right about that, and he bobs his head once, refusing to look up. He’s still embarrassed by the entire conversation, even if his mother is for it. “I’d like that, thank you,” he says quietly, and his father cuts in, turning the conversation around, his mind obviously changed. “You’ve been very helpful to all of us,” he says, grinning widely at Satou. “We really can’t thank you enough. Maybe we could have you over for dinner again next week?” “I’d like that very much,” Satou says. “Assuming everyone would be fine with that.” There’s a round of nods that Kouji finds himself joining in on. He has no issues with Satou coming over. If anything, he relishes it. He likes the idea that Satou thinks he should be a nurse, above and beyond the fact that he thinks it might be an okay idea. He suspects he’d have agreed with whatever Satou thought to suggest. The man has good judgement, and as far as Kouji’s concerned, his own judgement of himself is poor at best. “I should be going,” Satou says, and Kouji snaps his head up, startled. “Thank you very much for dinner.” Kouji says his own goodbyes, unable to drag his eyes away from Satou as he sees him to the door. If his parents notice, they don’t say a thing, and when he excuses himself to his own room, his father suggests looking into nursing so that he won’t be relying entirely on Satou’s hard work. He does look into nursing, but not right away. ***** Chapter 5 ***** It’s wrong to think about Satou the way he does, but knowing that it’s wrong doesn’t stop him. He knows that Satou doesn’t look at him that way, but even that won’t stop him from imagining what it would be like if he did. Satou, he decides, is his type. Satou is nothing but sympathetic when he next visits, pouring over Kouji’s transcripts with an eye for detail. His advice is to the point and useful, helping Kouji decide where he should be focusing his efforts. Nursing is well within his reach if he applies himself, Satou declares, and Kouji feels like his face is on fire from the attention. It’s a relief when Satou offers to tutor him, and Kouji happily accepts. He lets his mind wander, his imagination soaring at the sort of things they might do during the tutoring sessions. He’s pretty sure the only thing he’s really going to be doing is his homework. It’s during the third tutoring session--pouring over biology homework--that Kouji catches Satou looking at him. Not a quick glance, but a lingering look that makes Kouji’s cheeks burn. Kouji bites at his lip as he glances back to the paper, trying to focus and doing a very poor job of it. “Distracted?” Satou asks, and everything about his voice does awful things to Kouji. “A bit,” Kouji confesses after a moment. “Whatever by?” “I-” Kouji starts to say, stopping himself when he realizes he doesn’t have an answer. He can’t just confess to being distracted by Satou. At best, he’ll find it funny and laugh in his face. At worst, he’ll decide that it means Kouji’s not focused enough, and decide to leave entirely. “Nothing,” Kouji says. “I doubt it’s nothing,” Satou says, and when Kouji turns his head he realizes that Satou is right there. He’s leaned forward, his face only inches away. Kouji goes for it. There’s no greater reasoning behind it, nothing but a last moment if I don’t do this, I’ll regret it going through his head, and then his lips are on Satou’s, his hand coming up to squeeze at Satou’s knee. He’s afraid. He’s afraid of the reaction, but he had to do it anyway, had to know. He’s surprised when Satou doesn’t shove him back. Almost instantly Satou seems to relax into the kiss, returning it with force, his hand catching Kouji’s wrist as he gives it a tentative squeeze. Kouji really, really doesn’t want to stop. He wants to keep going, because if he stops he’s probably going to have to explain himself, and he really doesn’t have any reason for kissing Satou beyond that he wanted to. He’s surprised and slightly alarmed when Satou’s other hand brushes down his side, finally stopping just above his hip. It’s the encouragement Kouji needs, and he tries to step up his own game, pressing his tongue forward. That’s apparently a step too far, because Satou pulls back, breaking the kiss with a noise that sounds so wetthat it only serves to make Kouji’s face burn even harder. “Very enthusiastic,” Satou says, and Kouji lifts his hands, burying his face behind them. It’s petty and childish, but it makes him feel a tiny bit better to have his face hidden. Thankfully, Satou doesn’t prompt him for a while. He doesn’t ask why. He just lets Kouji have his meltdown in his seat, giving him time and space to himself. “Sorry,” Kouji says after several minutes. He still doesn’t take his hands away, still can’t make himself look directly at Satou. “I shouldn’t have.” “There’s nothing wrong with it,” Satou says, and when Kouji peeks out from between his fingers Satou is still wearing his usual smile, looking distinctly unbothered by the fact that Kouji just kissed him. “If I had taken issue with it, I would have stopped you when you first began.” Kouji’s heart soars. “You - you don’t mind?” He says, slowly lowering his hands. “I would be lying if I said I wasn’t interested in you from the beginning, Kouji, although I feared you’d never return the feeling. You’ve exceeded my expectations in that regard.” “You -” Kouji chokes out, unable to get himself under control. “You actually like me?” Satou looks surprised for a moment before letting out a little laugh, reaching forward to rest his hand on Kouji’s knee, a mirror of Kouji’s position earlier. “Of course, Kouji. You have plenty of attractive traits, and there’s no reason I wouldn’t like you.” Kouji’s hands go right back up to hide his face, albeit for a much different reason. He feels like he’s going to hyperventilate, and Satou lets out another amused little laugh, reaching up to rub at his back with one hand. “There’s no reason to rush into anything Kouji. We have plenty of time, and you have a lot of studying to do.” Kouji takes it as the dismissal that it is, taking a moment to recover before lowering his hands and turning back to his homework. He’s pretty sure that if he looks at Satou again, he’s going to burst into hysterical giggles and not be able to stop. Satou doesn’t make a move for the rest of the night, nor does he bring up the kiss. At one point, when Kouji does try to bring it up, Satou simply pats his knee and tells him that there’s plenty of time, and that he wouldn’t want Kouji to rush into things. Kouji really wishes he could rush into things. ***** Chapter 6 ***** Kouji wants to escalate, but Satou simply won’t let him. The next time Satou comes over, Kouji kisses him again, but when he tries to do anythingelse--add tongue, use his hands, anything--Satou immediately deescalates. There’s no need to rush into things, he says, even though Kouji absolutely does want to rush into things, even though Kouji’s absolutely desperate for it. He wants to rush, and Satou won’t let him. It comes to a head almost a month after the first kiss, when Kouji really doesn’t think he can take it anymore. “Why won’t you let me?” Kouji blurts out after yet another failed attempt to get something out of Satou beyond a kiss. Satou lets out a small sigh, reaching down to take Kouji’s hands in his own, gathering them up in front of him. “I don’t want to mislead you,” he says, his voice forlorn. “And I don’t want to lead you on.”  “You’re not leading me on,” Kouji insists. “I want it just as much - maybe even more than you do.” He’s pretty sure that he wants it more. Satou probably has experience, and Kouji certainly doesn’t. “You don’t have all the information,” Satou says firmly. “It would be cruel of me to take advantage of you.” Kouji nearly blurts out please take advantage of me before he decides that’s probably not the best way to prove he’s on the level. “Then tell me whatever it is,” Kouji says desperately. “And then I’ll know, and I can make my own decisions.” Satou lets out another sigh, this one larger, and then squeezes Kouji’s hand again. “I’m afraid that if I do, you won’t want to be around me anymore,” Satou says, his voice pained. Kouji can’t imagine anything that would make him want that, but then he’s not trying very hard. “I’m sure I won’t,” he says, one hundred percent sure of himself. “You’ve done nothing but help me. You’ve saved my mom, you’ve helped me with my school, and you’ve treated me so kindly...” Satou shakes his head, his usual smile gone. He looks hurt, like he genuinely believes Kouji’s just going to leave when he tells him. “I wouldn’t leave you,” Kouji insists, clutching at Satou’s hand desperately. “Not after everything. I owe you a lot.” Satou doesn’t respond right away, his face downcast. He looks so upset that Kouji can’t help but lean up, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I swear, no matter what it is. I’m not going to leave.” “I trust you,” Satou says quietly. “I trust you with this.” Satou tips his head back, and the view is so jarring that Kouji takes a second to process it. Satou’s eyes are open, but there’s nothing there. It takes him a second to process that if there was really nothing there he’d be looking at eye sockets. Instead, what is there is simply pure black. There’s no white, no iris--it’s like Satou’s entire eye is a pupil, so dark and black that he can’t find any detail in it. Kouji jerks back in surprise, and Satou immediately closes his eyes again, turning away with a small sigh. The guilt wells up, and Kouji reaches forward, cupping the side of Satou’s face in his palm. “I’m sorry-” he blurts out. “I was just surprised. There’s nothing - your eyes -” He doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t understand how Satou can even functionlike that, let alone why the hell his eyes are like that. His eyes seem similar in some way, but Kouji’s sure he’s never seen them before. “No, this is normal,” Satou says. “It’s natural for a human to flee from someone like me.” Kouji stops himself from blurting out what are you and settles for leaning in instead, pressing his lips to Satou’s own in another kiss. When he pulls back, Satou’s eyes are open again, his smile restored even if it seems more hesitant than usual. “So you’re a...” Kouji says. “A... non-human?” He has no idea what that would be. He’s never heard of anythinglike what Satou is. “A demon,” Satou says. “That would be the term closest to what we are that you’d be familiar with. We live very long lives, plenty of us have horns... we can be summoned from our own world to this one, for example, although so much of it is twisted to make us sound like monsters.” “I know you’re not a monster,” Kouji insists. “You aren’t like that. I’d never think of you like that.” Satou leans forward, pressing a kiss to Kouji’s forehead. Somehow, the entire action seems even more intimate than the kiss on the lips, and Kouji blushes all the way to his ears. “This doesn’t change anything,” Kouji adds. “It does,” Satou says to Kouji’s surprise. “It does change things, even if you won’t admit it. But we can handle that later, Kouji.” It’s a relief when Satou kisses him again, and an even greater relief when Satou actually allows him to escalate beyond a kiss. ***** Chapter 7 ***** Kouji’s grades improve bit by bit, helped in no small part by Satou’s tutoring. When final exams come around, Kouji jumps at a chance to escalate to sessions twice a week. He spends Saturdays at Satou’s house, and then thursday nights are spent having dinner with the four of them before retiring to Kouji’s room for more tutoring. Kouji wishes it could be every night, but when he suggests it Satou simply laughs, telling him that there’s plenty of time. Over time though, Satou stops saying it. He stops saying there’s plenty of time and starts letting Kouji do what he wants. It makes Kouji nervous, even if he’s getting what he wants, but when he prods Satou he simply avoids the question entirely. Every time he does, Kouji gets that much more worried. “Please tell me,” Kouji begs one night, but Satou simply shakes his head, staring off into the distance after a while. It isn’t until Kouji brings home his grades--marking an end to his need for tutoring--that Satou finally does. “They’ll want us to stop,” Kouji says quietly as Satou skims over his grades. “It won’t matter,” Satou says, setting the page aside as he looks up at him. “Why won’t it?” It certainly matters to Kouji. It matters a lot to him, because seeing Satou has become the absolute highlight of his week. The idea of simply not having that hurts. “Kouji,” Satou says in a tone of voice that tells Kouji immediately that whatever is going to come next is going to be bad. “I’ll be going soon.” “Going?” He doesn’t understand what Satou means at all, but he doesn’t like it anyway. “Home,” Satou says, reaching out to take Kouji’s hands. Kouji wonders for a moment if his face is showing how upset he is, and then decides it probably is. “But...” He can’t find the words. He knows Satou isn’t from the same place he is--even if he’s sketchy on the exact details--but he never thought about him going home. “I thought you liked it here,” he finishes after a moment. He feels like Satou’s pulling away from him, like someone’s just torn a hole in his heart. “I can’t stay, Kouji,” Satou says quietly. “I would if I could, but it’s simply too much to ask.” “Nothing is too much to ask,” Kouji blurts out, squeezing at Satou’s hands. He doesn’t want him to go. He desperately wants him not to go, and he feels like Satou is slipping out from between his fingers. Satou shakes his head. “I couldn’t ask that from you Kouji.” “That’s my decision to make,” he says, his voice rising before he manages to push it down. If he starts yelling, his father is going to come knocking, and he doesn’t want to be interrupted. Satou shakes his head again, letting out a tired sounding sigh before pulling his hands back. “A demon can only stay on earth if they have a companion - if they make a human like them. But I couldn’t do that to you Kouji. I couldn’t take you away from your family. If you did that, you wouldn’t be human anymore, and you wouldn’t be able to stay with them.” The unsaid words are you’d have to stay with me, and Kouji’s heart leaps. He knows he’d miss his parents, and that they’d miss him, but at that moment all he can think of is Satou. How kind he’s been, how much he owes him, and more than any of that just how Satou feels against him. “It isn’t a decision to rush into, Kouji,” Satou says quietly. “I’m not rushing,” Kouji insists. “I want to be with you.” “Wanting to be with me isn’t the same thing as wanting to be a demon, Kouji,” Satou says, resting his hand on Kouji’s knee. It might as well be, as far as Kouji is concerned. He knows that Satou’s immortal, and he’s not seeing any real downsides. Even if he does change--he’s pretty sure that Satou’s extra fingers and his eyes are connected to him being a demon--he doesn’t mind. He’s sure his parents will understand anyway. “Just tell me how,” Kouji insists, and Satou seems to smile for a moment before going back to his somber expression. “It’s the orb,” Satou says quietly. “But you probably don’t even have-” Kouji doesn’t let him finish the sentence, springing out of his chair and heading over to the bed. He still has the orb. He takes it with him everywhere, a familiar weight in his pocket, and right then he knows exactly where it is-- under his pillow, waiting for him to go to sleep. “This one?” He says, holding it in the flat of his palm. Satou stares at it for a moment before nodding. “If you were to eat it, you’d become a demon, and if that’s what you want, then yes. But Kouji, you should wait. There’s no need to rush into things. You have all the time in the world. Even if I do go home soon, there’s always a chance I can return later, and then I’ll visit you.” Kouji wishes--rather desperately--that Satou would stop trying to talk him out of it. He’s made his choice. He knows what he wants. Nothing Satou is saying is going to persuade him otherwise, and he frowns at Satou even as he nods. “I should be going,” Satou says. “I’ll stop by tomorrow morning to see you off before your graduation, alright?” Kouji nods again, the plan in his head not just formed but solid. Satou sees him off with the slightest kiss on the lips followed but a much longer kiss to his forehead, and then Kouji sees him off in full view of his parents. He tells them he’s feeling ill and returns to his room, and the moment he’s there he retrieves the gem, rolling it in his palm. A golf ball is a lot to swallow down, but the plan requires him to. He just has to swallow it, and then when Satou comes to say goodbye in the morning, he’ll already be ready. He doesn’t know how it works or how long it takes, but he doubts the whole thing will be instant. Kouji doesn’t hesitate putting the orb in his mouth--it doesn’t taste like anything--although swallowing it down is easier said than done. When he finally does manage, it’s almost an accident, and he chokes and gags on it, forced to rub his throat to try and help it pass. By the time it’s finally in his stomach, his excitement has worn down. His throat aches from swallowing it, his entire body feels weird, and most importantly, absolutely nothing has happened. He didn’t expect the change to be instant, but he did expect some kind of indication that he was doing the right thing. Maybe there’s something else to it. Maybe there’s some magic word Satou has to say that he missed. Kouji’s feeling stupider by the second as he crawls into bed. He’s sure he can’t--it doesn’t make any sense--but a part of him feels like he can still feel the damn thing in his stomach. He hopes he didn’t make a mistake. ***** Chapter 8 ***** Kouji wakes to the taste of blood in his mouth. It’s thick and coppery, and he feels like he’s absolutely choking on it. It’s all he can taste, and he lets out a pathetic, confused noise. Everything is blurs, his entire perception narrowed down to the taste in his mouth. Eventually he feels something else - the sensation of hands on his head, someone lightly stroking at his face. He feels separate, floating away from a body that is no longer his own, and it seems like years before he understands the noises around him are someone talking. Oh Kouji, the voice says over and over, long fingers touching his face, petting him ever so softly. He chokes and rolls to his side, reality snapping more into place as he vomits blood onto the floor, his eyes bleary with tears. He aches. Every part of his body aches. He feels like his body’s been taken apart and put back together badly,like his eyes have had a layer of blood rubbed over them. Everything is red. The hand is there again, rubbing at his back, and then the voice comes, and he isn’t surprised at all when he recognizes the voice as Satou’s. “Oh Kouji, it’s alright. Just let it all out.” Kouji vomits again, and when he does it’s more than blood--it’s chunks of matter that he can’t identify, pink and grey and red, and Kouji turns away, letting out another small sob. He doesn’t understand what’s happening, but he knows that it’s wrong. He knows that everything about the situation is wrong. “Satou,” he tries to croak out, but it feels all wrong, like his mouth has been replaced with something larger than before. It sounds garbled, and he drags one hand up to touch it, only to met with confusion on both ends. His hands aren’t his own either. “Now let’s look at you,” Satou’s voice comes, more confident than before. He grabs at Kouji’s shoulders, pushing him upright. Satou is still himself--still looks the way he always did--but his eyes are open, clearly scanning him up and down. He reaches out, grabbing at Kouji’s wrist to pull it in front of him, looking over his hand. His hand is no longer human. Satou’s hands might be able to pass for human, but his can’t. Not for anything that would be able to live outside a freak show. His entire palm is all but gone, his pinky entirely missing. His three fingers have stretched grotesquely, several inches long and ended with what can only be described as claws. His thumb isn’t where it should be, down by his wrist and similarly misshapen, even if it’s facing the wrong way. His hands are slick with blood, red and wet. Satou flips his hand around, studying it impassively, and then let’s out a sigh. His own hands seem so pale, stained red by blood any time he touches Kouji. “I told you to wait, Kouji. If you had asked, I would have told you that something like this might happen. I’m lucky enough to pass as human, but you certainly won’t be able to. No one will look at you and see anything other than a demon.” Kouji lets out a choked sob, but he can’t even cry properly. His mouth is all wrong, and when he raises his free hand to it--careful not to gouge himself on the too-sharp claws--he finds that it’s changed too. His teeth and his mouth have become one single thing, endless sharp teeth running from one end of his mouth to the other. Even his mouth is too large, extending from just below each ear all the way around his face. His noise of distress draws Satou’s attention, and the man reaches up, grabbing at his face to hold him still. “Open up, Kouji. Let me see.” Kouji complies, his hysteria mounting as Satou inspects his new pair of jaws. “Unfortunately, you appear to have lost your tongue entirely. I doubt you’ll be able to speak much, but that’s alright. I’m not going to throw you away just because you aren’t human. Not after you did all this to help me stay here, Kouji.” Satou leans up, pressing a kiss to Kouji’s forehead, and Kouji lets out another pained sob. He still aches. All he can taste is the blood in his mouth, and with no tongue there’s not even an easy way to try and resolve it. “We need to go now Kouji,” Satou says, his voice suddenly serious. “You can’t stay here, not after what’s happened. You can come with me, and I’ll make sure everything is okay.” Kouji can’t bare to look at him. Instead his eyes are drawn to the mess on the floor, the blood and chunks. He feels like he’s falling. “It’s alright, Kouji,” Satou says again as he finds a blanket, wrapping it around Kouji to hide the worst of the mess. “I’ll take care of you.” “Thank you,” Kouji tries to choke out, but it’s so garbled he doubts Satou can even understand. “There’s no need to cry,” Satou says as he leads Kouji down the stairs. The house is a disaster. There’s gouges and slashes in the walls like a beast has torn through, and when they pass the living room Satou steps in between Kouji and it, reaching up to turn his face away. “Just keep walking, Kouji. It’s better if you don’t see.” Kouji sobs as they step out the door, and Satou leans up. There’s the tiniest flick and something soft and wet slides up his cheek, wiping away his tears. It takes Kouji a few seconds to realize that it’s Satou’s tongue--too long to be human, and oddly split at the end--and then it vanishes right back into Satou’s mouth behind a wall of sharp teeth. Satou is smiling, and it’s the first time Kouji’s ever really seen him do it. “It’s alright Kouji, you’re with me now. And I’ll take good care of you.” Kouji sags against him, his impossible monstrous claws digging into the back of Satou’s shirt as he tries to hug him, sobbing inconsolably into Satou’s shoulder. Everything has gone wrong, but at the very least he still has Satou. 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