Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/2206509.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M
  Fandom:
      One_Direction_(Band)
  Relationship:
      Harry_Styles/Louis_Tomlinson, Nick_Grimshaw/Harry_Styles
  Character:
      Harry_Styles, Louis_Tomlinson, Nick_Grimshaw, Niall_Horan, Zayn_Malik,
      Liam_Payne
  Additional Tags:
      Mpreg, Domestic_Violence, Cheating, Confused_Harry, Nicks_a_right_dick,
      Age_Difference, domestic_abuse
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-08-26 Updated: 2014-08-29 Chapters: 2/? Words: 6527
****** Decent ******
by CarbonInsolence
Summary
     Being Nick’s plaything delights Harry. It delights him to be shown
     off to all his friends and it delights him to compete with the
     spouses of Nicks friends.
     If it wasn't for the occasional violence which Harry always provoked
     he reckoned everything would be perfect.
     But when Harry finds out about the baby in his tummy choices have to
     be made.
***** Chapter 1 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
It’s not good news.
In fact it’s terrible news.
Fucking terrible.
Harry’s made some poor choices in his time but this is the worst one to date.
He and Niall look down at the stick Harry’s holding in his hands. They’re
locked in a toilet on the third floor of Halls Cross Sixth Form College with
Liam guarding the door to make sure no one comes in.
There’s a smiley face on the stick in his hands and Harry feels as though it’s
laughing at him.
Niall looks at him like he’s grown a second head.
‘Mate…’ he starts to say.
Harry shakes his head. ‘It’s nearly time for history,’ he says. ‘Tell Mr
Wickers I’m sick or something.’
‘Harry,’ Niall says putting his hand on his shoulder. ‘I want to be here for
you.’
Harry shakes his head again, tears threatening to spill out of his eyes.
‘Please, just go. Please.’
Niall gives him a concerned look but turns to the door and opens it to reveal
Liam. Liam looks at him questioningly and Niall nods his head. Liam puts a hand
over his mouth.
‘It’s okay guys,’ Harry says. ‘Go to history. I don’t feel well.’
As soon as they’re gone Harry sinks to the ground, puts his head between his
knees and cries. Once it starts it won’t stop. He’s crying racking sobs and he
can’t breathe.
He’s never cried this hard before. Not even the first time that Nick hit him.
Now the tears won’t stop.
                                       -
That night Nick questions Harry’s red rimmed eyes over dinner.
‘I’m just stressed about coursework, that’s all love,’ Harry says pushing the
ravioli on his plate around.
Nick frowns. ‘I’ve told you that school isn’t necessary for you anymore now
that you’re with me. There’s no point in you doing it when my salary can cover
us both.’
Harry smiles at him with what he hopes is adoration on his face hoping it will
please Nick who’s always been touchy on the subject of Harry going out the
house for anything other than groceries.
‘I know Nicky,’ he says. ‘It’s just that I want to be able to say that I have A
Levels. I want to be able to prove to people that I’m not just some stupid kid
that you took pity on.’
Nick smiles at him. ‘Oh, but you are baby.’ And then he scoots his chair out
from under the table. ‘Come here love,’ he says gesturing to his lap.
Harry grins ever craving off Nicks touch. He stands up and goes to drape
himself over Nick with his knees on either side of his hips. Nick’s hands cup
his arse in the way that they always do when they’re in this position.
‘That’s all you are baby,’ Nick says. ‘You’re so delightfully beautiful and
empty headed. You’re the perfect little wife to keep at home and I just don’t
get your determination to get an education you don’t need anymore.’
Nick gives Harry’s arse another squeeze.
Harry doesn’t know what to say. It delights him to be Nick’s plaything. It
delights him to be shown off to all his friends and it delights him to compete
with the spouses of Nick’s friends. If it wasn’t for the occasional violence
which Harry always provoked he reckons everything would be perfect.
Harry loves Nick and Nick loves Harry, but he also likes being at school with
Liam and Niall, and Harry did enjoy learning. At the end of the day Harry knew
Nick would care for him, and school was just fun for him.
‘I know Nicky,’ Harry says. ‘A levels are just one of my silly things that I
like to do. I know you’ll take care of me. You always do. And in three months,
A Levels will be over and you’ll have me all to yourself.’
Nick nods and pecks Harry on the lips. ‘And I look forward to it lovely; I just
don’t want you to worry your pretty little head over your school work so much.
I want you to focus on the things you were really made for.’
Harry wriggles his bum and feels Nick’s cock getting hard in his skinny jeans.
‘And what am I really for?’ Harry giggles.
‘A pretty little boy like you?’ Nick asks and thrusts up to meet Harry’s bum.
‘You’re for looking beautiful and fucking and being looked after. You’re not
made for hard things like school and work and academics or any real world
things.’
‘Well I’m certainly made for one hard thing,’ Harry smirks and grinds down onto
Nick’s hard cock.
Nick grins up at him before sliding his hands into the back of Harry’s
jeggings. ‘No underwear huh, you bad little baby, should we punish you for
that?’
Harry nods blushing and Nick admires the way his curls bounce. ‘Yes please,’
Harry says. ‘Not to hard tonight though please,’ he says when Nick’s hands
ghost over his stomach where terrifyingly, Harry knows that a baby grows.
Nick frowns and Harry almost thinks that he’s pushed too far and that Nick will
be mad at him again but then Nick’s face softens and he nuzzles into Harry’s
neck. ‘Okay baby, I know your History essay’s got you in a tizzy, so I’ll be
gentle with you.’
He lifts Harry into his arms and carries him to the bedroom. Harry loves the
way Nick’s so big against him and so much older and he’s so small and young.
Nick lays him down on the bed. ‘Arms up baby,’ he says to Harry and Harry
giggles as his jumper gets caught around his hair as Nick pulls it off him.
Once Nick’s got him completely naked Harry spreads his legs as wide as they go
so his holes on clear display. ‘Please Nicky,’ he mews.
Nick smirks and rubs a teasing finger around the outside of Harry’s entrance.
‘Remember baby, I’ll let you indulge in your silly little whims like A levels
and I’ll be gentle sometimes if you want to be, but remember who’s in charge
here. Remember you’re my beautiful little airhead.’
‘I will,’ Harry sighs as Nick pushes a lubed up finger inside him. ‘I always
do.’
                                       -
The next morning Harry clears away the dinner plates which had been abruptly
abandoned the night before and starts on waffles for Nick and him. Nick is
still asleep but he wants to keep him as happy as possible until he decides
what to do about his pregnancy.  He doesn’t want Nick to get into one of his
moods and lash out at him.
As he’s waiting for the oven to do the job he puts both hands on his stomach.
His baby is in there. The pregnancy test had been one of the posh ones which
gave an estimate of how far along he was and it had said two to three weeks.
Harry had caught it early.
He just didn’t understand how it had happened. He was on the pill. Nick had put
him on the pill at the age of sixteen. But then again the pill wasn’t one
hundred percent effective.
Harry knew that he didn’t have a lot of options. He could either have the baby
with Nick or have an abortion. The second option made his skin turn. It was his
own flesh and blood inside him but there was a possibility he didn’t have a
choice. He had no idea how Nick was going to react. He could be furious and
then Harry’s only choice would be to have an abortion to make Nick happy again.
That was Harry’s only choice. All he could do was tell Nick and hope that he
wanted to keep it with him. If Nick was angry there was no way Harry could
leave. His parents didn’t want him anymore after he had run off with a thirty
something year old he’d been fucking since the age of fourteen so he couldn’t
go back to Holmes Chapel, especially not now that he was knocked up.
The idea of raising the baby alone if Nick was angry had occurred to him but
Harry was only seventeen. He couldn’t support himself and a baby. He would have
to get rid of it for his own sake.
Harry is broken out of his day dream by the smoke alarm.
‘Oh, god,’ he gasps and grabs the oven gloves to open the oven. The waffles are
a crisp black and smoke is pouring out of them.
‘What the hell is going on here?’ He hears from the hallway outside the
kitchen.
‘I’m so sorry baby,’ Harry says pulling the burned waffles from the oven and
putting the tray on the counter. ‘I’m so sorry.’
Nick crosses the kitchen in a few strides and shoves Harry against the counter.
Harry shrieks and his hands fly down to protect his belly as Nick curls his
fist into the ball and punches Harry in the face.
‘I’m sorry,’ Harry cries as Nick throws another punch.
‘You’re so stupid,’ Nick is yelling. ‘You’re such a fucking bimbo.’
Harry falls to the floor accidently swiping a pile of plates to the floor along
with him. They smash all around him and he feels a shard cut into his hand.
He curls up into a ball so Nick can’t kick him in the belly. It doesn’t achieve
much and because Nick only takes this as an opportunity to kick his back.
‘No you’ll hurt it,’ Harry screams but Nick doesn’t hear and kicks again.
Mercifully it’s the last kick and Nick yanks Harry up by the back of his
SpongeBob pyjama top.
‘Clean up this mess you stupid slut,’ Nick says and pushes him away before
storming out the room.
Harry is crying and he hurts all over but he gets on his hands and knees and
sweeps up the plates. He can barely get up because of the pain in his back but
he manages to get everything cleared away before he stumbles into the bathroom
with his vision blurred.
He locks the door behind him. Before he does anything else he drops his pyjama
trousers to check for blood. He’s terrified that something had happened to the
baby. There was nothing so far, so he surveys the damage. He has a split and
swollen lip which is bleeding all down his chin and two black eyes. He has cuts
all over his body from where the plates cut him and his tongue is bleeding from
biting it when Nick punched him.
There’s not much he can do but wash the blood off in the shower. The soap that
Nick likes him to use stings but there isn’t anything else so uses it anyway.
He dries himself of before applying wound wash and bandages to what he can. He
checks his bum again and there’s no bleeding from his belly so far. That’s
hopefully a good sign that the babies okay.
There’s not much he can do about his two black eyes and fat lip so he leaves
those and exits the en suite completely naked to see Nick sitting on their bed.
‘I’m so sorry Nicky,’ he says fearing another round of beating.
Nick rakes his eyes over Harry’s naked and damaged body. ‘Oh Harry,’ Nick says.
Harry breathes a sigh of relief because Nick sounds so sad.
‘Oh love, look what I’ve done to you,’ Nick says grabbing Harry’s hand and
sitting him down on the bed.
He takes in all the cuts and bruises on his body and inspects his black eyes
and lip. ‘Oh baby, I’m so sorry.’
‘It’s okay Nicky,’ Harry says relieved. Nick’s sorry which means that he still
loves him despite Harry’s accident. ‘It was my fault. I shouldn’t have let the
waffles burn; I was being silly as usual.’
‘Yes, you were baby,’ Nick says and brushes his hands through Harry’s curls.
Harry turns his head into Nick’s hands. There so big and are so gentle against
his hair that he can’t help but want more petting.
‘You were being very silly,’ Nick is saying, ‘but I shouldn’t have hurt you for
it. It’s just how you are baby. My pretty little airhead. You were trying to
make me happy and I shouldn’t have punished you for trying to do that.’
Harry smiles at Nick at almost tears his lip again. ‘It’s okay though Nicky. It
was all my fault and I won’t do it again.’
Nick drags Harry’s naked body towards him. ‘I love you baby,’ he says. ‘Let me
make it up to you.’
Nick leans down and Harry gasps as he wraps his lips around his cock. ‘Oh
Nicky,’ he gasps. He isn’t used to this. He’s always the one who gives and so
rarely the one who receives and it’s overwhelming.
Harry’s much smaller than Nick so it’s easy for Nick to take all of him whereas
it took weeks of Harry reaching and crying around Nick’s cock before Nick
trained him to completely relax his throat for him.
It takes a matter of minutes for Harry to cum making high pitch, out of control
whimpers. Harry’s not used to having anything around his cock as it’s his
prostate which Nick’s always pleasured as he likes to be the one in control and
says it would make him less of a man. A blow job is something which Harry
rarely, if never receives.
‘Oh, Nick,’ Harry says staring blankly up at the ceiling.
‘Did you like that little treat lovely,’ Nick says and kisses Harry’s cheek in
a place where he’s not bruised.
Harry nodes in a spaced out way. ‘I love you so much; you’re so good to me.’
Nick kisses his cheek again. ‘Are you going to let me fuck you, lovely?’
Harry nods and despite the pain he spreads his legs and lets Nick enter him.
Nick’s thrusts send shocks of pain through his back where he kicked him, but
that’s okay with Harry. Nick deserves this so much for being so kind.
Chapter End Notes
     Disclaimer: I don't want to be seen to be glorifying domestic abuse.
     Harry see's Nick as a romantic as that is all he has known since he
     was fourteen. He's been groomed by Nick to be that way. He does not
     yet fully understand what is happening to him and I don't think that
     he understands yet that he is being abused. The fact that Harry loves
     Nick does not mean that I am trying to romanticize the abuse.
     It would be great to hear from you. Hope you liked it :)
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
It’s third period before Liam and Niall find him. Harry’s spending his free in
the library going over his English before class after lunch and recovering from
a particularly bad bout of morning sickness.
‘Where have you been?’ Niall says loader than necessary. He earns a ‘Shh’ from
the librarian and when she’s not looking he raises both his fingers at her.
Harry ducks his head and pretends to be distracted by his book so they can’t
see his black eye. He doesn’t want Liam to go on another rant about how Nick
shouldn’t be hitting him.
‘You could have called,’ Niall is saying. ‘For god’s sake Haz, you can’t just
run home from school after what happened and then not call.’
Liam gives Niall a look and sits down next to Harry. ‘We were worried, we
hadn’t heard from you all weekend.’
‘Well you had no reason to worry,’ Harry snaps keeping his eyes down. ‘Now if
you’ll excuse me I have an essay to write about whether Lady Macbeth is a
loving wife or a female monster.’
‘Who gives a shit about Lady Macbeth,’ Niall says taking the other seat beside
Louis. ‘We’ve got bigger issues.’
‘We’ve?’ Harry says. ‘Last time I checked I was the one up the duff, not you.’
‘Oh, come on Haz,’ Liam says. ‘We love you. You’re problems are our problems.’
‘Please, just leave me alone,’ Harry says. He really doesn’t want them to see
his eyes.
‘We want to help,’ Liam says.
‘I know, I just…’ Harry trails of not knowing what to say to get them to leave.
‘I’m just really busy. Exams are in a month.’
‘But we need to discuss this,’ Niall says frowning. ‘Oh come on Harry, the
least you could do is look at us.’
Niall puts his hand under Harry’s chin and guides his face upwards. He recoils
when he sees Harry’s eyes and Liam gasps.
‘That son of a bitch,’ Niall says. ‘I’m going to kill him.’
‘It wasn’t him,’ Harry says quickly. ‘I just walked into a door.’
‘Bullshit,’ Niall says. ‘That’s an excuse you used up long ago.’
Liam looks like he’s going to cry. ‘Is it because you’re pregnant?’
‘No!’ Harry cries. ‘No, he doesn’t know yet. He’d never have done it if he had
known. I just burned the waffles. It was nothing I didn’t deserve.’
Liam’s eyes go wide and Niall looks furious. ‘Harry love,’ Liam says. ‘People
don’t hurt the ones they love over burnt waffles. He can’t love you and do
this.’
‘Don’t say that,’ Harry says offended. ‘He does love me. He always tells me he
loves me. Just sometimes he loves me too much and this happens.’
Niall snorts. ‘That’s bullshit.’
‘It’s not!’ Harry says. ‘He loves me and he’s taking care of me.’
‘So why haven’t you told him you’re pregnant?’ Niall asks.
Harry falters. ‘Because, I’m saving it for a surprise. And anyway. He’s going
on a business trip tonight and won’t be back till tomorrow afternoon. I don’t
want to tell him while he’s still stressed about that.’
‘That sounds like an excuse to me,’ Niall says.
‘Oh piss off Niall,’ Harry snaps. ‘Last time I checked you were getting an E in
history, shouldn’t you be studying for that?’
Liam’s eyes widen and Niall looks hurt.
Harry closes his eyes in defeat and rubs his temple. ‘I’m sorry Niall,’ he
says. ‘It’s just pregnancy hormones. I don’t mean it.’
Niall shakes his head. ‘No worries Haz, I shouldn’t have pushed you.’
Harry breathes a sigh of relief.
‘Did you say Nick was on a business trip?’ Liam asks.
Harry nods. ‘He left this morning.’
Niall perks up. ‘All right!’ He says. ‘We can take you out on the town.’
Harry frowns. ‘I can’t drink anymore,’ he says pointing at his stomach. ‘Baby,
remember?’
‘Well you can have fun without drinking,’ Liam says.
Niall looks at Liam and frowns like he wants to say something but doesn’t in
the end. ‘Yeah, yeah,’ he says. ‘Totally. You don’t need alcohol to have fun.’
Then he frowns again.
‘So it’s settled,’ Liam says. ‘You’ll come out with us?’
Harry nods. It’s not like he’ll have much time to do it in nine months’ time.
                                       -
They end up in a small pub in the centre of Doncaster because Harry is still
seventeen so they can’t get him into a night club.
‘Unbelievable,’ Niall had said. ‘The kids pregnant. You don’t get more adult
than that.’
Liam had sort of glared and nudged him with an angry look on his face.
They had snagged a table with bar stools at the edge of pub. The table was a
small distance away from the stage where a boy with feathery hair styled into a
quiff was singing a ballad with a guitar.
‘He’s a catch,’ Niall says pointing at the boy. ‘His hair looks startlingly
like a dickhead we know though.’
‘Nick is not a dickhead,’ Harry snaps.
‘Okay,’ Liam says quickly before the argument can escalate. He points at
Harry’s stomach. ‘What are we going to do about that?’
Harry puts his hand on his stomach instinctively. ‘I want to keep it.’
Niall frowns. ‘You have to know there are other options, right?’
‘You mean killing it?’ Harry answers and cocks his head to the side.
Niall flinches. ‘I know it sounds horrible, but it might be your only way out.’
‘What do you mean?’ Harry says.
Liam interrupts. ‘I think what he means is, are you sure Nick’s someone you
want to raise a child with? I mean, assuming he wants the baby at all, are you
sure he’s father material.’
‘Of course he is,’ Harry says. ‘He’ll make a great dad.’
Niall frowns and Liam sighs. ‘Are you sure that’s true?’
Harry stares at them both daring either of them to say anything else. ‘If he
wants it, I’m keeping it. And he will want it. I know he will. He loves me.’
Niall snorts.
‘Besides,’ Harry says. ‘He’s thirty-three. It’s definitely time he should be
settling down and having a family with someone he loves.’
‘And that’s another problem. He’s twice your age,’ Liam says. ‘You’re
seventeen. You should be going to university and getting yourself an education.
You should be drinking until you’re sick and then going to a nine o’clock
lecture with a hangover, not staying at home with a baby.’
‘Stop telling me what I can and can’t do,’ Harry says swirling his lemonade
around in the bottle.
‘Well you let Nick do it all the time,’ Niall says.
‘Nick want’s the best for me.’
‘And we don’t?’
The three of them laps into a silence and the boy on stage begins a different
song.
         ‘Written in these walls are the stories that I can't explain
         I leave my heart open but it stays right here empty for days
    He told me in the morning he don't feel the same about us in her bones
     Seems to me that when I die these words will be written on my stone’
‘I know that this isn’t good,’ Harry says. ‘I know that alright. Ideally Nick
and I should have waited. But it’s happened now and I want this baby. I was
never going to go to university anyway. It was going to happen at some point.’
‘But it’s Nicks’,’ Niall shouts.  ‘It’s bloody Nicks’.’
Liam trys to ‘Shh’ him but Niall glares at him.
‘Of course it is,’ Harry says. ‘Who else’s would it have been?’
‘That’s not the point,’ Niall shouts. The whole pub is looking at them and the
boy on the stage has stopped playing. ‘That’s not the bloody point.’
Niall downs the rest of his pint. ‘I’m going home,’ he says. ‘Just… just do
what you want.’
He storms out of the door of the pub.
Liam gives Harry a concerned look. ‘I’ll go talk to him,’ he says. ‘Stay here;
I’ll be right back, love.’
Harry looks down at his lap with tears in his eyes when Liam follows Niall out
of the door. He wishes Niall would understand his and Nick’s relationship and
how amazing he really was.
‘Hey beautiful,’ says a voice.
Harry looks up; it’s the boy from the stage. ‘Um, hello,’ he says wondering
what he wants.
‘I saw your argument with blondie,’ the boy says smiling widely. ‘Lover’s
tiff?’
Harry blinks. ‘No! No way, me and Niall, were not, we never… no, no way.’
The boy holds his hand out in a stop motion. ‘Whoa, whoa,’ he says. ‘Just
teasing you babe.’
Harry looks at him eyes wide. He’s unused to flirting and isn’t sure what to
do. Nick doesn’t flirt with him now that there together and he’s usually always
out in public with Harry to make sure that it doesn’t happen. Harry doesn’t
know what to make of this boy.
‘Um,’ Harry says as the boy slides out the stool that Liam was on and pushes it
a bit closer to Harry before getting comfortable on it.
He sticks out his hand. ‘I’m Louis,’ he says.
Harry awkwardly takes his hand and shakes it. Nick’s always told him not to
talk to strangers but Harry is too shy to tell Louis to go away.
‘I’m Harry,’ he says quietly.
‘That’ a nice name,’ Louis says. ‘It suits your curls very well.’
‘Does it?’ Harry says, and then worried he sounds rude he adds. ‘I liked your
songs. They were very pretty.’
‘Ah yes,’ Louis says. ‘Dedicated a whole album to a lad who broke my heart.
Very bad break up, but musically inspiring so that’s okay, I guess.’
‘What happened?’ Harry askes.
Louis looks him up and down. ‘I’ll tell you if you tell me who blackened your
eyes, gorgeous.’
Harry freezes. ‘Oh, just some people at school.’
Louis frowns. ‘Well that doesn’t seem very chummy.’
‘It’s okay,’ Harry lies. ‘They won’t be doing it again.’
‘You’d call in the big guy?’
‘What?’ Harry says confused.
‘You know the guy with the muscles you were sitting with?’
‘Oh, Liam?’ Harry says. ‘Yeah, yeah he helped.’
‘Is he your boyfriend?’ Louis asks quickly, frowning again.
‘No, no,’ Harry says. ‘Why are you so concerned about who my boyfriend is?’
‘Maybe because I want to know if you’re single, baby,’ Louis says smirking at
Harry and leaning closer. ‘Are you?’
Harry’s eyes winding. ‘Y – yes,’ he says he finds himself saying.
Stupid, stupid idiot, Harry thinks. Why did he say that? What would possess him
to say that?
Louis smirks looking pleased and Harry doesn’t know what he should say. ‘So
what did your ex do to inspire the album?’ Harry asks.
‘Oh, you know, just the standard,’ Louis says. ‘We moved in together after uni
and I walked in on him with another man’s dick up his arse.’
Harry flinches at Louis crudeness. ‘Oh,’ he says. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘It’s okay love,’ Louis says. ‘It was a year ago. I’m over it now.’
‘It must have been hard though,’ Harry says. ‘If you loved him.’
‘It was at first,’ Louis says. ‘But enough about me, can I buy you a drink?’
Harry raises his eyebrows at Louis bluntness and weighs up his options. Louis
seems nice enough and Liam doesn’t look like he’s going to come back anytime
soon.
‘Okay,’ he says. ‘But just a Sprite.’
Louis frowns. ‘Do you not drink?’
‘Um,’ Harry says. ‘Um, not really. I just don’t like it that much,’ he lies.
Louis shrugs. ‘Fair enough, I’m not drinking anyway because I’m driving home,
give me a minute,’ he says before going to the bar and ordering for them.
When he comes back he sets a Whites lemonade down in front of Harry.
‘They ran out of sprite,’ he says apologetically.
‘That’s okay,’ Harry says and takes a sip.
‘So,’ Louis takes a seat very close to Harry. ‘What’ve you got going for
yourself?’
Harry shrugs a little. ‘I’m doing A Levels right now.’
‘Oh,’ Louis says. ‘Bet you’re an a star student, huh? You don’t drink and are
all innocent looking. I bet mummy and daddy are proud.’
Harry flushes and looks down at his lap. ‘I don’t live with my parents anymore;
we had a big falling out when I was sixteen. I live with my… my roommate now.’
‘Oh…’ Louis trails of. ‘I’m sorry love.’
‘It’s not your fault,’ Harry says. ‘It’s just life. I’m really, really happy
right now though.’
Louis grins at him. ‘I’m glad,’ he says. ‘Although you’re black eyes say
otherwise.’
‘What about you?’ Harry asks quickly to change the subject. ‘What are you
doing?’
‘Just a bit of music here and there,’ Louis says. I actually have a big
audition for a musical in America in a couple of months, but right now, not a
lot.’
‘That sounds fun,’ Harry says. ‘Doing what you love that is.’
‘And what do you love?’ Louis says leaning closer to Harry. ‘If you could do
anything what would it be?’
Harry’s eyes widen. Nobody’s ever asked him that. He’s always thought his
future was clear cut; he’s going to spend the rest of his life with Nick.
‘I… If I could do anything.’
‘Anything in the world,’ Louis says. ‘What would you do, gorgeous?’
Harry racks his brain for all the possibilities. What would he do? What could
hepossibly do ‘I would be an archaeologist,’ he says. ‘I’d dig up catacombs and
pyramids that’ve never been discovered. I could go to Egypt and Italy and find
all the things that no one else even knew were there. I could find the next
Pompeii. Actually no. I could find the lost city of Atlantis. Or maybe even
find the lost gold and ivory statue of Zeus. Or a replica of the hanging
gardens of Babylon. I recon that would be beautiful. Maybe there’d be
fossilised extinct plants there. Or I could find underwater ships and
wreckages. Pirates ships and stuff! I could find-’
He freezes when he realises what he’s done. Nick. He’s forgotten about Nick. He
shakes his head. Nick is his life. He can’t do any of this. It’s crazy talk.
He looks up when he realises that Louis is laughing. ‘What?’ he asks.
‘Nothing, love,’ Louis says smiling. ‘You sound like you have some amazing
dreams. I hope they become a reality for you.’
‘I,’ Louis sighs. ‘I can’t. I can’t’
‘Of course you can,’ Louis says. ‘Nothings holding you back.’
‘I have things,’ Harry says. ‘I have to stay in Doncaster. I have things here?’
‘What could be keeping you in Doncaster?’ Louis asks.
‘Just,’ Harry shrugs. ‘Just stuff. I can’t do those things.’
‘Of course you can baby,’ Louis says. ‘Whatever’s keeping you from following
your dreams isn’t worth keeping if it’s making you unhappy.’
‘But I am happy,’ Harry says desperately. He is happy, isn’t he? He doesn’t
need to do all the crazy things he wants to do. All he needs is Nick. ‘I’m
perfectly content,’ he says.
‘Why just settle for content?’ Louis asks. ‘Remember you have to be good to
yourself. You’re upmost priority is always going to be you. You owe it to
yourself to follow your dreams, gorgeous.’
Harry looks wide eyed at Louis because he’s always assumed his first priority
is Nick.
‘My mum wanted me to be a doctor,’ Louis says. ‘But I couldn’t. It made me
depressed to be doing biology, chemistry and maths at A Level and I ended up
flunking out of my medicine degree at Imperial. Ihad to do this instead. And
no, it’s not the best career by a long shot. I’m fucking poor and it doesn’t
look I’m going to get any richer anytime soon, but I’m happy doing what I’m
doing.’
‘No one’s ever told me to do what I want before,’ Harry says softly.
Louis is getting closer and closer to him. ‘I can tell,’ he says even softer.
‘It doesn’t seem like anyone’s every really taken your feelings into
consideration before at all, gorgeous.’
Louis is too close but Harry can’t bring him to care because this is so new.
He’s never been exposed to that sort of thinking before at it seems
revolutionary to him.
Louis’ lips are inches away from his. ‘Can I kiss you?’ Louis asks. ‘Please can
I kiss you?’
Harry is shocked because Louis is asking his permission. ‘Yes,’ he says. ‘Yes
please.’
Louis lips are soft against Harrys’ and they’re warm and loving. It’s crazy how
safe Harry feels with this boy who he’s never met before. Nicks’ kisses are
aggressive and hard, but this is different.
Harry thinks this boy is beautiful.
When Louis breaks away. Harry’s lost all his breath but is longing for it
again. ‘More please,’ he says and Louis chuckles.
‘Okay gorgeous,’ Louis says and gets up to stand between Harry’s legs and
presses his lips down against Harry’s.
Harry’s shocked at how gentle he is. Nick’s the only person he’s ever kissed
until now and he’s used to hands roaming all over his body like he’s owned but
Louis hands are on his waist with no sign of any wondering. His tongue is
behaving too. It not attacking Harry’s own for dominance, its making the kiss
better for Harry.
For the first time in his life Harry feels like an equal.
When they break away for air Harry is completely awestruck. ‘You’re very good
at kissing,’ Harry says.
Louis laughs. ‘Thank you gorgeous,’ he says. ‘Have you kissed many people?’
‘I, I guess not,’ Harry says. ‘Am I bad?’
Nicks never really given him any feedback. He’s just sort of told Harry to lie
there while he takes what he wants.
‘You’re not bad,’ Louis says. ‘Just very unsure.’
Harry blushes. ‘I’m sorry,’ he says.
‘No!’ Louis insists. ‘No, that’s not a bad thing.’
‘It’s not?’
‘Course not, although,’ Louis leans closer. ‘I absolutely would not be adverse
to giving you lessons.’
Harry blushes even more. ‘I would like that,’ he says, shocking himself. He’s
with Nick! He’s with Nick and he’s pregnant with his child.
But Louis so different. He’s so different and so not Nick.
Harry’s curious.
Louis smirks. ‘Not here though,’ he says nodding to the bar where an old man is
leering at them. ‘Don’t want to end up in his wank bank.’
Harry looked over towards the man. ‘To be honest, I think we already are.’
Louis laughs at that. ‘Come back to mine. It’s only nine o’clock.’
Harry nods his head. ‘I would like that. Let me just text Liam to say I’m going
home.’
                                       -
Louis flat is small but kind of cosy. You can definitely tell that a musician
lives here from the amount of guitars and copy of NME that are lying around.
‘Sorry it’s cramped,’ Louis says. ‘My roommate Zayn’s away till Thursday
though, so at least he’s not hanging around doing any questionable drugs.’
Harry raises his eyebrows. ‘Drugs.’
‘Just weed,’ Louis says. ‘Nothing too dangerous.’
‘Oh,’ Harry says.
This is different. Nick would go absolutely mental at him if he did weed. The
only reason Nick lets him drink is because he likes how pliant Harry becomes
when he’s drug. He would go of the roof about weed.
‘Tea?’ Louis says.
Harry nods. ‘Yes please.’
‘Breakfast? Or anything special?’ Louis asks.
‘Breakfast is fine.’
He watches Louis make the tea from a chair by the table.
‘I always put the milk in first,’ he says as Louis pours the water on top of
the tea bag.
‘What?’ Louis asks. ‘Seriously.’
Harry nods and Louis looks scandalised. ‘That spoils the milk. You can’t pour
boiling water on top of milk.’
Harry shrugs. ‘I can’t tell the difference. You know what’s worse though?’
Louis shakes his head. ‘I can’t imagine anything worse to be honest, gorgeous.’
‘I’ve heard that in America, most kitchens don’t have kettles.’
Louis gasps and puts his hand over his heart. ‘Oh my god.’
Harry nods. ‘I know. Apparently they boil their water in the microwave if they
want tea.’
‘No.’ Louis looks scandalised. ‘That can’t be true.’
Louis sets the tea down in front of Harry. ‘There you go,’ he says. ‘A proper
cup of tea, milk in last and made with a kettle. Barbarians.’
‘Thank you,’ Harry says taking a sip.
Louis looks at him expectantly.
‘Nope,’ Harry says. ‘I can’t tell the difference.’
Louis rolls his eyes. ‘I obviously just have superior taste buds.’
Harry sets his mug down. ‘Please can you kiss me again,’ he asks.
Louis smirks. ‘Subtle aren’t you.’
He takes Harry’s hand and leads him to the living room. He lays Harry down on
the sofa and straddles him with his knees. ‘I am going to rock your world.’
‘Yeah?’ Harry says.
‘Most definitely.’
And Louis does. Harry marvels in how different he is to Nick. It’s like he
wants to please Harry rather than just himself. His hands still aren’t
wondering any further than before but Harry is so overwhelmed by Louis’ mouth
that’s enough in itself.
After a while it proves too much and he feels himself getting harder in his
pants. He hopes Louis doesn’t feel it but he does. He sits up and smirks.
‘Someone’s excited,’ he says.
‘And you’re not,’ Harry asks.
‘Touché.’ Louis says and looks down at Harry’s crotch. ‘Can I?’
‘Can you what,’ Harry says.
‘I want you in my mouth,’ Louis says and Harry’s eyes widen realising Louis
means a blowjob.
‘O-okay,’ he stutters.
Louis smirks and unzips Harry’s jeans and takes him out of his boxers. He licks
a strip from the base of Harry’s cock to the head and then he swallows him
whole.
Harry nearly blacks out.
Louis is so, so good. So much better than Nick. Harry can’t even process a
though. Louis’ bobbing up and down on Harry’s cock with his eyebrows furrowed
like pleasing Harry is the most important thing in the world. Harry thought a
blow job was a blow job but Louis mouth is so much more skilled than Nicks.
‘Stop! Stop,’ Harry finds himself saying.
Louis stops immediately. ‘Did I do something wrong?’
‘No, just,’ Harry goes red because it’s embarrassing. ‘I was going to come.’
Louis looks surprised and Harry goes even more red because he’d only been
sucking for about forty seconds.
‘Is this your first time,’ Louis asks. ‘Are you a virgin?’
And out of nowhere Harry finds himself lying because that’s a brilliant excuse.
‘Yeah,’ he nods. ‘I’m a virgin.’
Louis’ eyes widen. ‘You should have told me,’ he says. ‘I would have gone
slower. I can take more care if you want, but if you don’t want to we can just
watch TV?’
‘No,’ Harry says. ‘No please, I like it.’
Louis grins to himself. ‘Okay,’ he says. ‘Lie back, gorgeous.’
Louis uses a lighter touch this time and more hands. Harry still finds himself
on the edge, but it’s more manageable. After a while he spreads his legs.
‘Please Louis,’ he says.
Louis looks up at him. ‘You want me to…’
‘Please fuck me,’ Harry whines.
Louis lets go of his cock. ‘Are you sure Harry?’
Harry nods and spreads his legs in invitation. ‘Please.’
‘Let me just get a condom,’ Louis says.
He vanishes into his bathroom and comes back with a condom and a bottle of
lube. When they’re both naked he spreads lube over his finger and toys with
Harry’s entrance.
‘Tell me to stop anytime you want gorgeous,’ he says before pushing in.
Harry gasps at how fast Louis finds his prostate, and whimpers at the way he
works over it like he’s on a mission before pushing more fingers in and
scissoring him open.
‘I’m ready Lou,’ he gasps.
‘I want you more than ready,’ Louis says. ‘I don’t want it to hurt.’
Louis gets on his knees and Harry is shocked when he feels Louis tongue at his
entrance. He’s being rimmed!
‘Louis,’ he cries as his tongue flicks the inside of his hole. ‘Oh, God.’
Louis continues to do this until Harry’s a sobbing mess. He’s never felt this
way about foreplay. It was always something Nick skipped over to get onto
pleasing himself with Harry’s body. Rimming was certainly not something Nick
would even consider doing.
‘Fuck me,’ Harry is crying. ‘Please, please Louis. Please.’
‘Okay, gorgeous,’ Louis says and lines his cock up to Harry’s entrance before
pushing inside.
Harrys’ eyes roll back as Louis every single thrust hits his prostate. He
doesn’t even notice that he’s crying complete nonsense, babbling really,
begging for more.
He cums much faster than he normally would and screams as he does. It’s like
white hot heat. Louis completely bottoms out in his hole when he comes and then
he collapses on top of Harry breathing hard.
They’re both silent for a couple of minutes before Louis asks if he wants to
sleep over.
Harry feels half-awake as Louis leads him towards his bed. He curls into Louis
as he falls asleep feeling safer than he had in a while.
Chapter End Notes
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