Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/13243809.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Animorphs_-_Katherine_A._Applegate
  Relationship:
      Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill/Marco_(Animorphs)
  Character:
      Marco_(Animorphs), Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill
  Additional Tags:
      Plot_What_Plot/Porn_Without_Plot, First_Time, Xeno, Interspecies, Alien
      Biology, Drunk_Sex, Awkward_Sexual_Situations, Internalized_Homophobia,
      Humor
  Stats:
      Published: 2018-01-02 Words: 2769
****** Dear Penthouse ******
by Poetry
Summary
     Dear Penthouse: It happened to me. I lost my virginity having kinky
     gay sex with an alien.
Notes
     Cavatica wanted Ax/Marco with my headcanons for Andalite junk. I'm
     afraid this may not be as biologically informative as she might have
     liked, since Marco is too greedy to ask Ax exactly how his genitals
     work, but hey, I'm sure I'll find opportunities to elaborate in the
     future.
     Beta read by LilacSolanum, who made this definitively funnier.
I took a swig from the bottle of baijiu I liberated months ago from my dad’s
stock and stashed at Ax’s scoop – to help enforce his sobriety, of course.
“So,” I said, passing the bottle back to Ax. “How do Andalites fuck anyway?”
Ax sealed his lips around the bottleneck, coughed, and didn’t blush, damn him.
Drop one little hint that Ax might have been afraid of something, ever, and he
acted like you’d dragged his porn stash out in public. But drag out an actual
porn stash, and he didn’t blink – a fact that I happened to know from
experience. Look, for me, embarrassing people is a point of personal pride. I
can get Jake tomato red in less than three seconds. I’ll figure out more of
Ax’s weaknesses sooner or later.
“You have never shown any curiosity about my people’s customs. Cuss. Tums. Or
biology. Except for how we eat. Why the interest? Stuh?”
“That creepy chick Estrid was pretty cute, in an Andalite way,” I said, making
grabby hands at the bottle. At least I didn’t cough and cry with every sip of
baijiu – take that, Andalite stoicism. “And that alien queen of Atlantis or
whatever – don’t get me wrong, total freakazoid, tried to vivisect us, but kind
of hot, you know? Maybe I wanna see how the other half lives. Learn how aliens
get it on.”
Ax said easily, like it was nothing, “I could demorph and show you.”
Baijiu sprayed from my mouth. I coughed and wheezed into the crook of my elbow.
Had Ax seen the gay porn mag in my porn stash that time I dragged it out? I
thought I’d put that one at the bottom of the stack.
Ax took the bottle, wrapped his whole mouth around the bottleneck in a
completely unnecessary way, and coughed at the burn. He still doesn’t really
have the hang of human facial expressions, but he managed to radiate Andalite
superiority anyway. “I am not human. I do not share your human shame about
genitals. You may see mine if you wish.”
Man, with an opening line like that, a second career as an alien Chippendales
stripper was not in the cards for Ax-man. But I had to admit I was curious. Ax
was always butt naked in his natural form, and I’d never seen anything on him
that looked like a dick. Not that I’d been inspecting him for one. Or wondering
if it might be hidden inside his tail blade. Or if maybe his stalk eyes were
secretly dicks. I quickly snatched the bottle back, then remembered to lounge
casually, like I didn’t care one way or another whether Ax showed me his space
dick or not. “Okay, cool, let’s see it. Comfort in your body, awesome.
Embracing what nature gave you. Cassie would approve.”
“She would,” Ax said as he demorphed. Blue fur sealed his mouth shut. «She is
the one who explained human body taboos and sexuality to me, as she was the
only one who was not too embarrassed to do so.»
“Hey, you never asked me,” I said. It goes to show how deranged we Animorphs
have become that we can talk about the birds and the bees while listening to
each other’s internal organs slosh around.
«I did,» Ax insisted. «During one of your homework sessions at Cassie’s barn.»
“So that’s why you got so into the anatomy section of my biology textbook. I
thought you were trying to figure out how we stand on two legs. Or how I make
fart noises with my mouth.”
Fully demorphed, Ax said, «Tobias taught me how to produce those. They are
excellent mouth-sounds. The lips tingle pleasurably.» Then he reached down into
the thick ruff of fur where his torso meets his deer-like parts, and spread it
open, like the girl saucily opening her bathrobe in one of my porn mags, but
instead it was my scorpion-centaur buddy from space and it was his own fur
attached to his own body. Buried in his fur was a tight pink ring of muscle,
glistening a little with fluid.
“Whoa, Ax,” I said. I may have swayed a little. “Is that a vag?”
«My genitals do not resemble a human vagina,» Ax griped. God, he even has to be
superior about his alien junk. «Stop trying to impose human anatomy on me.»
I realized I was kind of reaching toward Ax’s oh-so-special Andalite junk,
stopped, let the words “Can I touch it?” vomit their way out of my mouth, then
panicked. I was making this weird. Why did I always have to make it weird? Then
I realized something important. Ax had demorphed. That meant he was sober, and
even sober, he had somehow still thought that playing doctor with me was a good
idea. So he was making it weird too, and according to the logic I’d recently
discovered in my dad’s bottle of baijiu, that made it okay.
Ax had all four of his eyes on me. He almost never does that. His eye stalks
were curved outward like parentheses. It was intense. Sweat broke out along my
upper lip. «Marco,» he said. «You are intoxicated.»
I brandished the bottle, showing him the level of the liquor inside it, which
was still pretty high, since I couldn’t drink too much at a time without
coughing and crying just like Ax. “Hey. I’m, like, drunk enough to call my
stepmom a gringa, not drunk enough to secretly put habanero sauce in all her
food. And anyway, you’re flashing me,” I pointed out. My eyes drifted back and
forth between his face and his magical cave of wonders often enough that I was
starting to wish I had stalk eyes too. “What’s your point?”
«What you propose is the Andalite equivalent of what humans call a “blowjob.”»
I searched Ax’s face. His nostrils flared open and shut. His hands were still
in the long fur at his middle. I was getting better at reading him, but I had
no idea what to make of this. Still, he hadn’t said «no» or «that’s gay, bro»
at any point so far, and besides, I’d already committed. I lifted my chin.
“Maybe I want to learn how to give an alien blowjob. I’ve already turned into
an alien, why not blow one? Wait a second. How do you know what a blowjob is?
Cassie didn’t explain that, did she?”
«I have watched several episodes of Sex and the City,» Ax said. He wrapped his
delicate fingers around my hand, shaping it into an open palm, and brought it
toward his space Grand Canyon or whatever it was. «Like this.»
I had a vague idea of what fingering was supposed to involve, and I was pretty
sure it wasn’t the world’s slowest and longest high five. Then again, Ax seemed
pretty insistent that what he had wasn’t like a vag, so it made sense I wasn’t
supposed to finger it the human way. I pressed my palm against him and felt fur
and muscle and slick. Clear membranes slid down over Ax’s eyes, making the
green a little less bright. I ground down my hand, and something firm and wet
pressed back against it. “Huh,” I said, and moved my hand out of the way so I
could have a look.
Ax’s junk had opened up and turned itself outward into a tube, like a Chinese
finger trap. When I pressed my palm into it, it latched on and sucked at my
hand like a vacuum. “Whoa.”
«Are hands an erogenous zone for humans?» Ax said, his main eyes fixed downward
on his finger-trap thingy sucking at my palm. Hearing him nervous and horny
made my own nerves and horniness calm down for a second. We were boldly going
where no human or Andalite had gone before, but we were in this together.
«Normally we would join the usthit to our partner’s, but you do not have one.
Is there some other part you would like to use? Perhaps your dick.»
I choked on my own tongue. “Holy shit, you really have been watching Sex and
the City.” I pulled my hand away from Ax, which took more force than I expected
it to. He’d left a kind of hickey on my palm from the suction. As much as guys
who wrote Penthouse letters liked to talk about girls with mouths like vacuum
cleaners, I wasn’t sure I was ready for something that sucked hard enough to
leave a hickey to go on my dick. Luckily, I’d been testing out some exciting
and scary new ideas from the gay porn mag, and a vigorous scientific
exploration came out with very firm results: I like butt stuff. I said, “Okay,
let’s try this,” peeled off my morphing outfit, and backed up into Ax. It turns
out I’m just the right height for usthit-to-ass contact – I guess that’s what
they mean when they say I’m “fun-sized.” The wet slide of his finger trap junk
between my buttcheeks was weird but awesome.
Ax’s muscles tensed against my back. He set his narrow hands on my hips and
guided me until his usthitlatched onto my asshole and sucked. “Oh fuck,” I
yelled, twisting and wriggling around. It was like rolling around on a fur rug
while the fur rug tossed my salad.
«Stop moving,» Ax said, and suddenly there was a blade at my throat. I stopped
moving. It wasn’t easy. The warm, wet pull at my ass made me want to squirm
like bait on a hook. But I couldn’t move. Ax had me pinned between his usthit
and his blade.
Then the blade dropped straight to the ground – I don’t think I’ve ever seen
Ax’s blade touch the ground before – and the usthit pulled away from my hole
with a pop. «I am sorry, Marco. I did not mean to threaten you. It is
instinctive for Andalites to engage our tail blades during sexual activity, but
you have no way to hold back my blade in your natural form.» A pause. «Also,
the shimmying movements were very unpleasant. They kept breaking the seal
between my usthit and your orifice. Cassie did not mention that human sex
involves so much thrashing about.»
“You tail fight during sex? That’s a whole new level of Freudian, dude.” I
leaned back into Ax and tilted my head up so I could see his stalk eyes looking
down at me. “I’m into it. You were into it, right? It’s hot, I know you know
what you’re doing with your blade, and honestly it might be the only way to
keep me from, uh, ‘thrashing about.’”
Ax lifted his blade back up, wiped it on some leaves on the wall of his scoop,
and put it back at the level of my throat. «You humans call each other
‘perverted’ for making the mildest sexual comments. I never understood what you
meant by it. But this – this is perverted.»
I grinned. “And you’re doing it anyway.” I pushed my ass back against his
usthit. “Face it, Ax. You’re perving on a human.”
His usthit latched back onto my asshole, making a seal around it like Ax had
done with his mouth around the neck of the baijiu bottle. His blade hovered a
hair’s breadth from my throat. «Don’t move,» Ax said silkily, and sucked hard
at my ass.
It was sweet, sweet torture. The slick pressure on my asshole felt so good, but
Ax’s blade was so close I could almost feel it in a hot line across my throat.
I trembled with the effort of holding myself still. Sweat ran between my
shoulder blades. Instead of squirming, I babbled. “Ax, is this as good for you
as it is for me, because this is awesome, oh man no wonder people look so
freaked out when you put your blade at their throats like this, holy shit what
if you put this thing on my dick instead of my ass, what if – ”
Ax stroked his hands up and down my thighs. «It is very good, Marco-kala. Ahh!»
Ax’s usthit sucked even harder, opening up my hole, and something thick and
warm oozed into me. “Oh my God, I totally got you off, Ax, hell yeah,” I
panted. But if this was alien come, then it wasn’t much like human jizz,
because it kept on, well, coming. It flowed into me steadily as Ax breathed in
harsh puffs behind me, his fingers tightening on my thighs, even as his tail
stayed absolutely level, holding me in place by my throat. My ass was flooded
with the heat of whatever he was pumping into me. He was filling me with alien
come. I whimpered. It was hot. It was so hot I might as well toss out my entire
porn stash because remembering this was going to be way better than anything in
a magazine.
The seal on my hole loosened, and the Andalite jizz or whatever it was dribbled
out of me. It wasn’t nearly as much as it had felt like going in, which was
good, because I was going to have to clean it up sooner or later. But not yet,
because Ax’s tail blade had fallen away from my throat, and he was turning me
around by my shoulders and saying, «With your permission, I will touch your
dick now.»
“Yes, yes, permission granted,” I said, leaning my forehead into his collar. I
held him by the back of the head and the thick ruff at the place where the
vertical part of his spine met the horizontal part, and looked down at his
delicate fingers wrapping around my aching dick.
He played with the foreskin, pushing it all the way up and all the way back.
«This is strange,» he said, «but interesting.» He figured out pretty quickly
that the underside was the most sensitive, from the way I drooled and maybe
cried a bit into his fur when he touched me there, and with a few flicks of his
slender fingers, I came into his hand.
«Let me clean you,» he said, because I had way more Andalite jizz on my ass and
thighs than he had human jizz on his hand, which was just a tad emasculating.
His jizz was kind of bluish, because of course it was. He gathered up some big
smooth leaves he uses to clean things around the scoop, wiped off his hand,
then mopped me up gently, like how Cassie cleans the baby animals in the cages.
Part of my brain kind of liked being treated like a cute orphaned duckling and
part of my brain pictured the whole scene of a big blue deer wiping my ass and
started shrieking with embarrassment with no sign of stopping. 
A sudden wave of post-coital sleepiness washed over me. Sadly, Ax’s scoop does
not have any place fit for a human to sleep on without getting a really bad
crick in his neck or dirt up all his crevices. I had plans to fix that. But for
now, I wriggled back into my morphing outfit and said, “Cool. Awesome. It’s
been real. Maybe I’ll blow you with my mouth next time. That’d be cool, right?”
Then I could learn what that bluish Andalite jizz tasted like. Oh man, now that
was some new jerk-off material. “I’m gonna go home and sleep.”
«Good night, Marco.» Ax reached out and caressed my cheek, long and slow and
soft like a kiss. «Thank you for trusting me.»
I reached up and patted the back of his hand, because I wasn’t sure what else
to do with that. “Hey. I’m pretty sure that whole thing was myidea. I should be
thanking you.”
«I believe if you think back, you will find it was mostly at my initiation.
Also, you were the one who had my blade at your throat.»
“Yeah, yeah, we’re both big alien pervs. Night, Ax.”
I walked out into the dark forest. When I was far enough from Ax’s scoop that
he couldn’t hear me anymore, I said out loud, “Dear Penthouse. It happened to
me: I lost my virginity having kinky gay sex with an alien.”
«Oh my GOD, Marco,» said Tobias from overhead. «TOO MUCH INFORMATION.»
“Fuck you too, Mr. Hawk-With-A-Human-Girlfriend,” I shouted up at him, and
started to morph owl.
«He’s my UNCLE,» Tobias said. «GROSS.»
“Let he who is without interspecies sexiness cast the first stone!” I yelled,
until my mouth disappeared and my owl wings took me away.
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