Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/8005831.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Major_Character_Death, Rape/Non-Con,
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      VIXX
  Relationship:
      Han_Sanghyuk_|_Hyuk/Lee_Hongbin
  Character:
      Lee_Hongbin, Jung_Taekwoon_|_Leo, Cha_Hakyeon_|_N, Kim_Wonshik_|_Ravi,
      Han_Sanghyuk_|_Hyuk
  Additional Tags:
      Necrophilia, Murder, Psychological_Horror, Love_Letters, Unrequited_Love
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-09-11 Words: 1564
****** Dear Binnie ******
by captinsamsam
Summary
     This might be asking too much, but don’t be mad at me.
     Just seeing you with him made me think horrible things. He took you
     away from me. I was the one who was supposed to see you first thing
     in the morning. I was going to be the reason behind your dimpled
     smile. I was supposed to be your reason for living… I guess that’s
     kinda ironic to say now, considering the way things turned out.
Notes
     This was taken straight from Asianfanfics from my account (formerly
     alishazombidoll). So if it is familiar to you, that's why.
See the end of the work for more notes
Dear Binnie,
This might be asking too much, but don’t be mad at me.
Just seeing you with him made me think horrible things. He took you away from
me. I was the one who was supposed to see you first thing in the morning. I was
going to be the reason behind your dimpled smile. I was supposed to be your
reason for living… I guess that’s kinda ironic to say now, considering the way
things turned out.
I’m selfish, I know. I shouldn’t have done what I did. It’s just that I can’t
stand the thought of you with another man. I had to see you every day for two
years with the feelings that I had to hide from you. Then, after months of
prepping and planning on how I was going to ask you out, you tell me that
Taekwoon-hyung asked you out. And you said yes.
What I should have done was just swallow my feelings and went on with life. I
tried but, the feeling was eating me alive. I couldn’t just leave it alone. So,
I did the only thing I thought was logical at the time. If I couldn’t have you,
then nobody could.
My plan wasn’t the best in the world, but it was the only way to win over your
heart. It was the middle of the night when it happened. The rest of the members
were out drinking, celebrating the success of our most recent comeback. I was
too young to go, and you didn’t want me to be lonely, so you also stayed
behind. Of course that bastard was opposed to you staying behind, saying “He’ll
be fine.” He wanted Hakyeon-hyung ot Jaehwan-hyung to stay behind with me. But
being the saint you are, you decline and stayed with me instead.
After they left, you were in the living room on the couch. You’d fallen asleep
with some romance drama playing on the TV. All the lights were off and your
sharp facial features were illuminated by the soft glow of the television. I
came up behind you and bent over the couch to admire you. You looked so
peaceful lying there, with no signs of distress on your face. I carefully ran
my hand down your neck and down to your chest. I felt the soft beating of your
heart and the subtle rising of your chest. As I observed you, I thought of what
could have been mine. I could have been your first time, your first love, the
one you came to for support when times got rough, but no! You ran off with that
cold-hearted monster, who is just using you. Why can’t you see that I’m way
better for you? That I’m the one who makes you happy in good times and bad?
Maybe if you realized that earlier, then maybe I wouldn’t have to do this.
You were still in a deep slumber when I walked around the couch and put my
hands around your soft neck. I waited a minute or two, so you could enjoy your
last breaths, before I started to crush your throat with my hands. Almost
immediately after that your eyes opened up. I felt soft hands try to claw mine
away. Your legs were kicking, trying to get away but, I wasn’t having any of
it. I got on top of you with my legs straddling your waist, ultimately pinning
you down. You tried to scream, but my hands were doing such a good job that
nothing came out but dry heaves. I leaned down closer to your face and looked
into your eyes. Even when they are full of panic, they are still the most
gorgeous pair I have ever seen. I then laid my forehead against yours and stole
a kiss that wasn’t meant for me.
Shortly after that, you stopped moving. I leaned up and saw that your eyes were
dull and lifeless. I pushed myself up off of you and was then getting ready for
the next part.
I picked your delicate body up off the couch and took you to my bed. This was
the part I had waited the most for. If I wasn’t going to be your first, then I
was going to be your last. I slowly stripped you of all your clothes and then
propped you up against the headboard. I then kissed your lips and discarded my
clothing as well. I straddled your hips and admired your perfect body. I knew I
had a limited amount of time left with you, so I had to speed up the process. I
sucked on your neck while I played with your nipples. Then I kissed (and bit a
little) my way down to your crotch. I gave it an experimental lick, then took
it into my mouth, slowly going down on it until I gagged. I kept bobbing my
head, playing with your sack until I felt satisfied. Leaning back up, I opened
up your legs. I reached over and grabbed the lube. I wanted to make this as
pleasurable for you as it was going to be for me.
I slicked up my finger and slipped it in. I slowly pushed it in until I was all
the way down to my knuckle. A little disappointed that I didn’t hear any sound
coming from you, I added another, then another, until I had four fingers inside
of you. I moved them in you at a faster pace, and when you were more loose, I
took them out. I slicked myself up with lube and placed my tip at your
entrance. When I entered you, it was everything I ever imagined and more. You
were so tight that it was hard to move at first. When you were more accepting
of me, I then started to go a steady pace. It was the best moment of my life. I
was in you and you were so accepting of me. But, all good things must come to
an end. I felt pressure bubbling in my lower abdomen and I started going at a
faster pace until I came with your sweet name on my tongue.
I pulled out and watched as some of my cum spilled out of you. I pulled you up
to me and kissed your lips roughly. As you laid up again, I started to notice
that you were getting colder. I wrapped you up in my blanket while I went to
get us clothing. When I came back, I never saw a more beautiful sight. You,
lying in my bed with the moonlight gleaming off of you. I chuckled as I moved
next to you. I put on your clothes and crawled next to you on the bed.
It was around two in the morning when the rest of the members came back from
the club. It was kind of funny seeing their reactions to your condition.
Jaehwan-hyung was the first one to see us. He walked into the room and saw me
holding you. He was curious, and asked what was going on. When I didn’t answer
him, he went up to us and tried to shake you awake. When you didn’t stir, and
he saw how pale you were, he yelled for Hakyeon-hyung, saying that something
was wrong with you. I don’t know why he did that, you were perfectly fine.
Everything was fine until they came back. Hakyeon-hyung came rushing, with the
bastard close behind him. He took you from me and checked for a pulse. I told
him you were fine, but he didn’t believe me. That bastard took your body into
his embrace and I lost it. I started yelling profanities at him, calling him
good for nothing, and I probably would have killed him too if it weren’t for
Wonshik-hyung grabbing me and pulling me out of the room.
When I was restrained in the other room, I saw red and blue flashing lights
outside the window. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to see you for a while.
Officers detained me and took me away from you. Then, they determined that I
was mentally insane and put me into “therapy.” All this is, is a padded prison
cell. Was it too much to ask for my happiness? All I wanted was for you to be
with me.
Anyway, Jaehwan-hyung comes and visits me every Saturday, when he has time.
Hakyeon-hyung used to, but he would always break down in the middle of the
visit, so now he just writes me. Wonshik-hyung doesn’t do either of those
things, but he did send me a “get well soon” card a couple of weeks ago. As for
Taekwoon-hyung, I hope he dies and I heard he wishes the same for me. That’s
good, I wouldn’t want things to get confusing between the two of us.
As for you, though, I still love you with all of my heart. I still have some
pictures of you underneath my mattress so I can continue to see your beautiful
face. I hope you don’t miss me too much or hate me, because that would be
awkward when I see you again. I will see you soon, my love. Once I can get out
of here, we will be together once again.
I promise.
Love,
Han Sanghyuk.
End Notes
     I know I need some Jesus in my life. But anyways, thank you so much
     for reading! I hoped you enjoyed it!
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