Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/4739540.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      Multi
  Fandom:
      Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan
  Relationship:
      Levi/Eren_Yeager, Krista_Lenz_|_Historia_Reiss/Ymir, Sasha_Blouse/Connie
      Springer, dead!Marco_Bott/Jean_Kirstein
  Character:
      Levi_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Eren_Yeager, Armin_Arlert, Erwin_Smith, Mikasa
      Ackerman, Annie_Leonhart, Krista_Lenz_|_Historia_Reiss, Sasha_Blouse,
      Connie_Springer, Marco_Bott, Jean_Kirstein, Hange_Zoë, Petra_Ral, other
      minor_OCs, Bertolt_Hoover, Reiner_Braun
  Additional Tags:
      Mental_Health_Issues, Mental_Instability, Mental_Breakdown, Mental
      Institutions, Cutting, Depression, Multiple_Personalities, trigger
      warning, Minor_Character_Death, Eventual_Smut, Character's_Name_Spelled
      as_Hanji, motherly_Hanji, Levi_cries_a_lot, Levi_isn't_a_stoic_asshole,
      Hurt/Comfort, Emotional_Hurt/Comfort, Eating_Disorders, Anxiety, Anxiety
      Attacks, Schizophrenia, Dead_Marco_Bott, anger_issues, Past_Sexual_Abuse,
      Past_Torture, Grisha's_grade_A_parenting, Cannibalism, SO_MUCH_FLUFF,
      Fluff_and_Angst, Christmas_Fluff, halloween_fluff, Thanksgiving_fluff,
      this_started_out_to_be_hella_angsty_but_now_there's_more_fluff_than
      angst, Oops, Suicide_Attempt, Eren_was_a_cannibal, one-sided_Mikasa
      Ackerman/Annie_Leonhart, Some_angst, not_too_much_for_tears, i_think, But
      what_do_I_know??
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-09-06 Updated: 2016-12-23 Chapters: 33/? Words: 49656
****** Damning my Demons ******
by Anal_Bead_Lamp
Summary
     "Welcome to Sina Mental Hospital. Where we take the most deranged
     patients and keep them out of the way for the public. If you look to
     your right you'll see our most recent patient, Levi Ackerman.
     After being brutally beaten and verbally abused most of his life, his
     uncle put the icing on the cake with a vicious rape. Levi, being
     mentally unstable, resorted to suicide. Of course as he is sitting
     here today, it was unsuccessful.
     But that's not all you'll find. Come along as we dive deeper into the
     sick minds of our patients!"
Notes
     Trigger Warning: this fic includes a graphic scene of rape, abuse,
     murder, depression, eating disorders, mental illness, and sexual
     content.
     If you are uncomfortable with any of these: please do not continue.
***** Chapter 1 *****
A young, only sixteen, teen walked down the cracked sidewalk with his thin
jacket pulled tightly around his body. The sharp cold winds easily found their
ways through the material and on Levi's skin. Chilling him to the bone. He was
hoping that Kenny had paid the heating bill for once in his drunkard life. The
raven looked at what he had called home for the past ten years. It was in piss-
poor conditions. Siding faded, some of it broken from bottles and bullets alike
hitting it. The shingles were missing in a few spots, the ply wood below was
visible for each one. Windows were broken and only repaired with a sheet of
tarp and tape. The lawn was over grown by more than a few years. Of course
there were complaints. But Kenny always ignored them in favor of a drink.
Levi entered the home with his head held low, not wanting to aggravate Kenny
into anymore beatings. Walking hurt, not to mention having to walk to and from
school, three miles each way. But the aftermath of his punishment wasn't the
worst part. It was watching his little sister being beaten. Levi held a great
amount of hatred for his uncle. The way that he disregarded the safety and
comfort of others for the sake of entertainment. It made Levi sick.
"Where have you been?" A deep voice roared. Kenny stood in the living room,
only right of the front door. The loud voice made Levi flinch, instinctively
covering his face for any oncoming blows. "Get in here, now!" Kenny ordered.
Once Levi had shakily entered his arms reach Kenny shot out. His right fist
hitting Levi's guts in a mater of seconds. Levi coughed up saliva. Wheezing to
get air back in his lungs. The punch had knocked him to the ground and the air
out of him. The hard wooden floor collided with his bruised shoulder from last
night's punishment. Sending another wave of pain through Levi's body.
"You. Worthless. Faggot!" Kenny screamed, his steel toed boot hitting Levi in
the side repeatedly. The crunch of his bones, the gasps for air, the yelps of
pain, and the sobs for mercy were music to Kenny's ears. "Kenny, GAH, please.
That isn't me!" Levi cried out. Salty tears ran down his pale cheeks. Kenny
grabbed Levi by his collar, lifting him to his face. "The school called me.
Saying that they caught you making out with another faggot." Kenny sneered,
spitting in his face before dropping his limp body to the ground. Levi took it
all. It's true, that's what he is. He's a faggot, to his uncle's words. "And
you're going to be punished like one too." Kenny growled in Levi's ear. His
whiskey drenched breath sending a frightful jolt down Levi's spine.
Kenny flipped him onto his back. Grabbing his wrists with too much force,
enjoying the way Levi whimpered in pain, and tied them to the guard bars around
the fireplace. Kenny placed his knees on Levi's calves, keeping him from
moving. Levi only managed a few weak attempts of throwing the much stronger,
heavier and dominate male off of him. Kenny grabbed the belt line of Levi's
pants, pulling them down with no regard for how Levi's skin felt as the jean
material scraped some of the layers of skin off. Once the pant material was out
of the way, Kenny grabbed Levi's limp member, squeezing with intense strength.
Levi cried out, yanking on his binds. Kenny grinned and used this pain to
distract Levi from his real goal. While his right hand continued to punish
Levi's member, his left undid his belt, pants and took out his fully erect
cock.
The thought of raping his family had never came to him before, but now it was
exciting. Knowing that the child before him was pure to an extent was
exhilarating. Seeing the tears run down Levi's young cheeks sent jolts of
pleasure through him and down his cock. Kenny lined himself up, dying to be
inside his nephew. With one swift movement, he was in. Levi let out a screech
of absolute terror, pain and shock. His throat would be raw in a few minutes
with the volume of shouts. Kenny didn't wait for Levi to be prepared for him,
he slid back out, relishing in the rough friction against his cock, then
slammed back in. Levi let loose an ear piercing scream of pain, his insides
were being torn apart. The blood showing, but there wasn't enough to act as
lubricant. So Levi was left with the impossible pain of a large thick cock
pounding into him.
His small hands clawed at the cloth holding them, his blunt nails doing nothing
against the high quality tie. His cries had gotten no quieter, only gaining a
more pleasured sound to them. Kenny smirked at this. Now aiming in random
directions till- "GAH~" he found it. Kenny wasted no time assaulting the bundle
of nerves. Levi was now screaming out of pleasure and pure disgust. He had no
control over his body. The moans left him with no permission. The gasps of
pleasure left as quickly as the moans. Levi didn't want to enjoy this. But
Kenny had a different idea. Holding the smaller male down until he came. His
thick white seed filled Levi's red and throbbing hole. The white mixed with the
red, making a swirly design as he pulled out.
As Kenny stood, he looked down at the wrecked boy. His own filth covered his
chest. Soft noises of whatever, Kenny sure didn't care, leaving opened lips.
Kenny was sure he would use Levi again. The tightness of his behind was better
than that of a well seasoned whore. And the price of free was perfect. Kenny
stepped out for a cigarette. Leaving Levi behind. The small raven continued to
lay on his back, his head tossed to the side. The energy spent trying to get
away from Kenny and then having been raped, left Levi empty. Not only
psychically, but mentally and emotionally as well. Levi felt the disgust
growing inside him, his thoughts were all of how meaningless life is. How
disgusting and down right revolting he is now because he had to be gay, that
his own family had taken his virginity.
 Levi used his legs to grab his bag, easily moving it to a position that he
could get into it from. His slim fingers slipped inside the front pocket,
taking out a bottle of pills. Levi opened the bottle with his hands, avoiding
the bars as he poured a handful or so into his mouth. He swallowed them all
with much difficulty. His dry raw throat protesting as the large amount of
pills entered. He hid the bottle in his bag before throwing it away before
Kenny entered once more. Levi let sleep take him as he laid tied up to the bars
and cum on and inside him. Like the piece of garbage he is.
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Summary
     Erwin tells a long story about Levi's mother and they arrive at Sina
     Mental Institution.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
A tall blonde man stood outside of a hospital room. This man is Erwin Smith.
His tall, perfect, expensive form just shouted money, intelligence, and power.
His deep charismatic voice could easily manipulate anyone, including the police
officers posted outside the room. "So having said all of that, may I please
enter. I wish to speak with him." Erwin gave a smile. The officers hesitated
but stepped aside and let the man in. The stark hospital white made his dark
suit stick out like a sore thumb.
"Who the hell are you and why am I not dead." An angry voice growled from the
bed. "Hello Mr. Ackerman, I'm Erwin Smith. The head doctor at Sina Mental
Institution. I'm looking for consenting patients to join a new program I have
developed." Erwin stated, keeping eye contact and his voice steady. Even under
the glare of the raven. "Fuck off." Levi answered, turning over to lay on his
side. Of course Erwin didn't miss the wince when he moved. The bruises he could
see on his wrists, arms and neck, all in the shape of hands, were most likely
not even the worst he had gone through. "It's free for you. All you'll have to
do is show up and within the next our months you'll start responding with to
the treatment-" "And what if I don't? What if the way he held me down for
hours, beat me, let his sweat drip on me, and the way he destroyed me haunts me
for the rest of my worthless life. What if the way he praised me whenever I
responded the way he liked makes me vomit whenever I hear the words, the
words.....the w-words." Levi trailed off, dropping his head. His words loosing
their power, but gaining emotion.
Erwin watched with a stoic expression. Levi looked completely broken. Sobs
broken the angst filled silence. Levi had started to wipe away the tears,
turning to face away from the taller man. "Look Levi-" "Don't you 'Levi' me."
The raven growled, scooting away. The tears running down his sunken cheeks made
Erwin halt. "Just listen. I won't force you. But from what we've seen, even
life long abuse victims recovered. Just think about." Erwin said not looking at
Levi as he sobbed. The blonde turned to leave, hi hand barely gracing the
handle before Levi croaked out a question. "Why do you want me?" Erwin turned
to look at Levi with a sad remembering smile. "Your mother and I were good
friends." Erwin stated, his voice not holding the confidence he had before. It
was empty. Levi stared at Erwin's face, looking for any sign of deception.
"I'll join your shit. Don't think that I'm a walk in the park though." Levi
said wiping his nose of the dripping snot. "Of course. Thank you Levi." Erwin
smiled kindly at the teen before leaving.
Erwin walked calmly down the hall. His posture was tall, asking for respect- no
demanding it. His face was stoic. He was holding up a mask. That mask of
confidence hid the crumbling emotions that he held for the raven's mother. He
never had romantic feelings for her. Only sisterly. She was his little sister,
his princess that he saved from bullies during school, he was the one she
complained about her friends and boyfriends to, he was the one that she leaned
on when the father of her baby went missing, he was the one that tried to keep
her out of drugs, he was the one that sadly failed, and he was the one that
watched her stick the final needle in her arm. He had tried to find her son. He
really did. But the boy had dropped off the face of the Earth. He was enrolled
in school with a different last name. And sixteen years later, Erwin had
finally given up. But he did it. He found the last of his her. He found the
last of Kuchel. The last of his little sister. 'I'll save him, don't worry
Kuchel.'
~
The next day Erwin return but with another doctor. "Hey pumpkin! I'm Hanji Zoe.
Call me aunt Hanji. I'll be like your new mom! Oh look at him Erwin! He's just
precious!" She rambled on and on as the nurses helped Levi out of the bed and
into a wheelchair. Erwin, being the only one relatively close to family was now
acting as his guardian, signed him out. The doctor had advised against it but
Erwin had convinced them that Levi would be fine.
"Erwin, what was my mom like?" Levi asked quietly. He was sitting in the back
of a Mercedes, a blanket wrapped around him as he leaned against the chilled
window. Erwin sighed as he glanced back at Levi through the rear view mirror.
Hanji had ran off to buy them all drinks at the nearest vending machine, but
the machine turned out to be farther than she thought. "To me she was the most
precious person in the world. She was like a sister to me. Kuchel-" "Hey name
was Kuchel?" Levi seemed surprised. "Yeah, Kuchel Ackerman. Did your adoptive
family not tell you this?" Erwin asked, using the term 'adoptive family'
instead of 'Kenny' for obvious reasons. "No, he said she was Jane, and my
father John." Levi whispered, his hands had began to shake. He tightened the
blanket around him as he focused on his breathing. Hanji had suggested it after
watching Levi nearly have a mental breakdown seeing his own body.
Erwin waited for Levi to calm down slightly before continuing. "Your mother was
smart. Always ranting on about a new thing with very logical views and beliefs.
She passed her classes with ease. Only sitting down to study ever other weekend
with me. But near the end of her junior year she found herself a boyfriend. He
knew how to smooth talk a girl real nice. I had warned her about his twenty-
something ex's. Kuchel began to slowly lose grip on her grades. Finally
dropping off the honor roll. Her parents got mad and began fighting with her
everyday, night and second in between. To take the stress off of her grades and
parents, she and her boyfriend had been having a larger amount of sex.
Forgetting the condom most of them. One night they forgot it and you were
conceived." Erwin took in a breath of air, checking on Levi again. He was
listening intently.
"The second he found out he began avoiding her. Not returning her calls and
text. Not even talking to her in the halls. Kuchel gave up on fixing their
relationship. When she told her parents they flat out kicked her out. During
this whole time I wasn't there. I had began my special classes for the college
I wanted. I guess she didn't want to be a bother and left me. Once I had passed
my exams I ran straight to her house. Or rather, what I thought was her house.
Her parents gave me the news. Of course I took it heavily. I had wanted to
scream in their faces. I had called her of twenty times. When she finally
answered that's when I gave her my plan. Since my family had always been on the
rather wealthy side, they had given me a rather wealthy allowance. I bought her
an apartment. It was small, but it was clean and it gave her a roof over her
head. This worked till she began using drugs." Erwin felt his throat begin to
throb as the memories surfaced in great detail.
"At first it was just marijuana. Then it was LSD. Then she took it a step
forward and began coke. I had known about the first two. But when I figured out
the third, I forced her into rehab. She couldn't go in for the whole three
months because of school, but she did sessions, urine tests, and therapy. She
had gotten better for bit. But then her ex came back in the picture. She wasn't
even seven months pregnant with you when he had thrown her down the stairs."
Erwin said, his voice chillingly calm. Levi felt the pure rage Erwin was with
holding. Levi had gotten accustomed to judging emotions, he had to know when
Kenny was angry or just sober.
"She lived and of course you did. But she had relapsed. Now doing all three
along with heroin. She shot it up her toe nails. Careful to hide it this time.
But as the drugs took their course, she gave birth premature. Two whole months
premature you were. It was a miracle that you weren't a still born." Erwin
chuckled dryly. He spotted Hanji standing against a pole. She knew what they
were talking about, not wanting to interrupt, she merely stood back and
watched.
"She had her baby for two days before she shot up one last time. I had just
arrived at the apartment to tell her that I had gotten that months rent.
Instead of finding her taking care of you, she was laying on the kitchen floor
with a needle in her arm and a missing child. I had asked her where you were
and she merely replied a weak 'gone' before she passed. I called the police.
They spoke with everyone in the complex. Most of them said that they saw a man
leave with a baby and Kuchel holding a package. The man was never seen and
neither were you. Till yesterday, when I heard that a Levi Ackerman was
admitted into the hospital I had driven here as fast as I could. When I heard
what had happened I felt the same anger I felt towards Kuchel's ex. I'm glad
that you're accepting the treatment Levi. I don't want you to end up like
Kuchel." Erwin had to physically try to hold back the tears that had formed in
his blue eyes.
When receiving no reply, Erwin glanced back at Levi. The raven was shaking,
tears streaming down his pale face. Levi didn't say anything, only trying to
hold back his sobs. Erwin motioned Hanji to come back. She arrived silently,
handing them each their drink. Levi didn't even hold it. Hanji had placed it
near his hand, leaning against the blanket, but he couldn't eat or drink now.
He knew he would surely throw it all up. Erwin sipped on the bottle of water
Hanji had gotten him as he took off.
The car ride was three hours. Erwin took them out of town and to a smaller one.
One where everyone knew everyone. Levi had always hated places like this. Not
that he had been to one. No, he had never left Trost before. But the thought of
everyone knowing everything about you sicked him. Even more now. He didn't want
everyone knowing him, he didn't want every secret he has to be shown to the
others, he didn't want anyone knowing what had happened to him. He simply
wanted one person that he could share himself with, with no fear of judgement
or blame. He wanted someone who could silence his demons with a single glance.
"Welcome home Levi." Hanji's voice knocked him out of his thoughts. "This is
where you'll be spending the next few years of your life." Erwin added.
 
"We're happy you have you at Sina Mental Hospital."
Chapter End Notes
     Thank you to Papaya_Complex, W84U and Emerald_dreams702 for the
     comments. As a writer, if I would call myself that, feed-back is the
     best thing since spell check. It lets me know as the author what I
     should and or shouldn't adjust. It's a fan-fiction, it's for the fans
     of course. ❤
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Summary
     Levi and Hanji bond and we introduce three new characters, then throw
     one of them out.
"We're happy you have you at Sina Mental Hospital."
~
"Ah Sir, it's nice to see you're back!" A man with short blonde hair greeted.
"Could you open the gate? We have a patient." Erwin said a silent thank you at
the start. The man nodded, turning to face a panel of controls. A few moments
later the large gate opened surprisingly quiet. Levi watched as the dark gates
opened, revealing a simple white building. The single story building was topped
off with a flat roof. The sides adorning double pane windows with reinforced
glass, along with some simple yet elegant shrubbery. The yard was a dark green
and neat as a lawn could get. Every few yards a small tree was planted, giving
the space an open yet not empty feel. Levi had a feeling that this was not all
to the building.
Erwin pulled in, his black Mercedes stood out like him at the hospital. Stark
black against clean white. "Here we are," Erwin said as three nurses approached
the vehicle. Each one in white scrubs. Their hair was pulled up into tight buns
and minimal make-up was applied to their faces. "Hello, we're the head nurses
on staff. We're here to help you get situated at the Institution, do you
require assistance?" A tall woman with an aged face, dark brown hair and brown
eyes asked kindly. The manor of her kindness almost made Levi want to gag. "No,
I'm fine-" "Help him." Hanji ordered getting out herself. Levi sent a not so
well hidden glare at the woman. Levi wanted to keep some of his dignity. But of
course Hanji was having different thoughts. The three nurses helped him out and
into another wheelchair. The tallest brunette walked ahead of him, next to
Erwin and Hanji. The shortest, a woman with strawberry blonde hair, light brown
eyes and a kind smile walked next to him holding a clip board. Last but not
least, the one with raven hair. She had dark brown eyes and a stoic expression,
almost nearing disgust. Levi curled in on himself, feeling her disgust at him
as she pushed the chair. He mumbled a weak 'sorry' before the brunette turned
to face him.
"Mr. Ackerman from today and on you will be living in this facility with the
others. You of course will have a single bed room, no roommates unless you ask
for one. Your breakfast times are seven a.m and seven thirty. Lunch will be
served at one and dinner will be at six. The lights out requirement is at nine.
You'll have one-on-one therapy sessions with one of our highly trained
therapists and group with the others. During the day you will be expected to
spend at least five hours in the main room with the others. All other hours
will either be free time for you to complete session tasks, or whatever you
wish. I must warn you about the others. Some have more problems than meets the
eye. Don't think that any of them are okay. They are all as damaged as you,
some even worse." The woman let out a remorseful sigh as she finished. Levi
soaked in the information. None of it was too out of the ordinary. The only
part that worried him with the group and main room. Would he be able to be
around others? Would they accept him? Or would they throw him away like his
mother did.
"Don't you worry Levi. The others are welcoming to some extent. But I'm sure
you'll find a friend!" Hanji said adding a bounce into her step. Levi brought
the blanket closer to himself, a settling feeling of anxiety formed in his
stomach. The brunette looked at her watch, a surprised look on her as she
mumbled something. "I have a group session to attend to. Girls, get Mr.
Ackerman situated then come to my office." She ordered the girls, they did some
weird salute with their fists against their chests. The strawberry blonde began
to push him towards the end of the hall. "The sleeping quarters are in the
underground, along with most of the areas for you guys. It keeps the
temperature down and-" "It keeps you fuck ups from escaping." The raven girl
piped in, messing with her nails.
"Kim! Don't say that. She's Mrs. Aberline's daughter. She doesn't really like
the job." The strawberry blonde said sweetly. A smile gracing her lips.
"Whatever Petra, not all of us care unconditionally" Kim mumbled. Kim reminded
Levi of Kenny. She had the relatively same height, both tall, the build was
close, thin and lean, and they had the same disgust towards him. His breathing
picked up, his vision became blurry, almost nothing was in focus besides the
image of Kenny. Levi fell out of the chair and onto the floor. Tears pricked at
his eyes, begging to be released. He had no control over his body as his pushed
Petra away, as he scooted back against the wall, as he gripped his head,
pulling out hair, and as he sobbed. Through the sobs he whimpered weak
'please','stop','I'm sorry','I don't want this'. Petra tried to approach Levi,
she hunched over, making herself small, not a threat. Kim stood behind the
chair, there was a glint in her eyes before she sprinted away. Leaving Petra
with the raven.
"Mr. Ackerman, are you okay? D-Do you want anything? What's wrong?" She fired
off questions like bullets into a mob. Levi only folded even more into himself.
The sobs turned violent. His eyes painfully wide as his mind replayed the acts
against him over and over. The binding of his wrists, the cold wooden floor,
the throbbing pain in his already bruised body as Kenny played with him, the
praises he got when he moaned, the feeling of Kenny acknowledging his presence
with more than just a punishment. It all replayed like a film, from the
beginning when he entered the house, to the end when the cops finally arrived
after Kenny was long gone, to the bits in between where Levi woke up from his
drug induced state to Kenny pounding into him.
Hanji, Erwin and Mrs. Aberline raced down the hall. Kim had ran to get them.
Erwin, having longer legs arrived first, then Mrs. Aberline then finally Hanji.
Hanji lept towards the teen. Wrapping him in her arms, cooing soft words to him
as she rocked slowly. She had seen this kind of attack before. It was best to
treat them like a child that was having a nightmare, that's almost what Levi
was having. The images flashing through his mind was like a dream. A horrible,
awful nightmare. The raven felt Kenny stripping him of his worth once more. In
that hall. In this place that's supposed to help him. In the arms of this
woman, the first to make physical contact and not be sticking something inside
him. His arms wrapped around her. His head pushed against her chest as the sobs
raked through him. Hanji gave him words of kindness. Ones that calmed him down,
instead of making him relive the past event.
"There, there. Yes there you go." Hanji whispered to a little tune. Levi calmed
down but kept his grip on Hanji. "I don't want to leave you." levi whimpered
tightening his grip. Hanji smiled sadly at the boy. "Don't worry Levi, you
don't have to." She said in a caring voice. She easily picked up the small
teen, him being only five foot one. She held him close, her heart beat lulled
him to sleep as they all walked to his sleeping quarters. Kim felt the heated
glare of Petra on her the entire time.
Hanji laid the raven on his bed after carefully detaching from his vice grip.
The group began to walk towards the door t speak without waking the boy, but
when Levi began tossing and turning Hanji was back at his side in no time. She
sat on the bed, laying the raven's head on her lap as she ran her fingers
through his soft hair. He rested once more and was brought into a deeper sleep.
"Kim you better have a real fucking good reason why my baby went through that.
If you don't you'll find out what the inside of your own lungs looks like,
cause I'm damn well curious." Hanji spoke with a low voice. But the threat was
real. The furious glare in her eyes made sure that the twenty-three year old
knew that.
"Petra was talking about how the sleeping quarters were u-underground, a-and I
said 'so that fuck ups like you don't run away' a, a-and I guess he freaked out
about it?" Kim stuttered but explained. Hanji tightened her left fist, keeping
her right one gentle as it lightly raked through Levi's hair. "Erwin." Hanji
growled. Trying to keep her anger in check. Even if she hadn't known the boy
for very long, she had grown attached. He reminded her of someone. Someone long
gone. And she didn't want to lose them again.
"Kim, pack your bags. Leave this facility within the hour or I'm not
responsible for Hanji's actions." Erwin ordered. Kim was taken back by the
order. She had made little comments before, sure none of them caused panic
attacks, but this one was taken way too far. "What the hell are you talking
about? Just because some freak doesn't like the way the world works means I get
fired?!" Kim raged. "Mom, come on. You won't let this happen?" Kim fussed.
Annoyed, "Kim, leave this facility now." Mrs. Aberline said in a calm voice.
Kim stomped away, growling curses and general bad things at Levi. She left the
room, leaving the door open.
"Well Ms. Hanji, I believe you're going to be his one-on-one therapist?" Mrs.
Aberline said straightening her posture. "Yeah." Hanji mumbled. Mrs. Aberline
nodded and walked out, Petra following, she had the other patients to tend to.
"Hey Erwin, why d bad things happen to good people?" Hanji whispered, holding
Levi closer. Tears had began to form in her eyes as she gazed at the boy. He
finally looked peaceful. Not the depressed, traumatized and angry boy she met
only a few hours prior. "....I don't know Hanji." Erwin mumbled looking at the
scene.
***** Chapter 4 *****
Chapter Summary
     We finally introduce Eren
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Levi awoke to a warm embrace. His instincts flared up and quickly pushed the
person away. Fear grew in his gut as the thoughts of it being Kenny arose. Levi
began to curl in on himself as he shuffled back. When his hand reached the end
of the mattress Levi went over the edge. His back hitting the white carpet with
a thud. The figure sprung up to see Levi huddling against the wall with tears
and snot running down his face, a look of terror joining them as he pleaded.
"Levi!" It was Hanji. How could he forget. The only person who gives him
comfort. Levi looked up at the messy doctor. The lamp she turned on illuminated
her face, she wore an expression of worry. "Levi, are you okay?" She asked
softly kneeling next to him. The raven's throat was burning and tight. He
wouldn't be able to speak even if he wanted. Instead he nodded his head. Hanji
sighed and pulled him into a hug. "You poor baby." She whispered rocking him
back and forth once more.
A few minutes later Hanji began to help Levi to start the day. Levi had woken
up a whole two hours before breakfast was to be served. Hanji planned to use
the time to bathe, dress and show him around before he would meet the others in
the main room. "Come on baby, we need to get you ready for the day. How does a
hot bath sound?" Hanji said with a smile. Levi simply nodded and left Hanji
drag him to the bath. Levi sat against the wall messing with Hanji's phone. He
had never had one, right now he was playing flappy bird. He hadn't voiced his
frustrations but Hanji smirked, knowing it was only a mater of time before he
would give up. In the mean time she filled the tub with warm, almost hot water
and bubble bath soap. Levi had shown a faint smile when Hanji had offered.
"Come on shorty. Get in." She said looking at the raven. "Okay." He managed to
say. The teen stood up and began stripping. Hanji turned around to give Levi
some privacy. Once she heard Levi mumbled something, she turned back. Levi
looked like baby in the large tub. His small form was already smaller than
others, the large size of the tub did not help. Hanji held back a giggle as she
grabbed a white cup. "Lean your head back, dear?" She said, filling the cup
with water. Levi followed her order, leaning back slightly. He sat with his
legs pulled to his chest and his arms wrapped around them. Hanji washed his
hair with gentle repeating circles. Levi enjoyed the feeling and the silence.
But Hanji being Hanji, broke it. "I'm sure you'll be best friends with one of
the patients. He's especially welcoming." Hanji smiled rinsing his hair. Levi
hummed as Hanji began washing his body with rose scented soap. She was careful
around the scrapes on his back. Judging from the position of them, Levi got
them way he was being rubbed against a wooden floor. The thought of someone
taking the innocence of this precious child in front of her made Hanji sick.
Through her thoughts she had finished washing him and was now rinsing off the
subs.
he helped him out and dried him off. Levi stood in the bedroom with a large
whit towel wrapped around him. "Here, you're all required to wear the uniform
in some manor. This is yours." Hanji said pulling out a pair of white pants, a
white long sleeve shirt, a pair of boxers and a pair of rainbow fuzzy socks.
"Don't tell anyone about how you got these socks. It'll be our secret." Hanji
giggled handing the pile of clothes to Levi. The teen began to get dressed as
Hanji pranced around the room, rambling about how one of the patients had the
most beautiful green eyes. Green eyes. Levi stopped mid way through pulling his
short over his head. "Isabel." He whispered. "Huh?" Hanji stopped her ramblings
to look at the raven. "My sister. Her name is Isabel. Is she okay?" Levi looked
up with hopeful eyes.
"Oh baby. How do I say this?" Hanji mumbled as she stepped closer to the boy.
"What happened to her?" Levi whimpered, his mind raced of the possible things
that could of happened to her. "Don't worry pumpkin. She's okay. The police
found her before she got to the house. She won't be able to visit you however.
She's in a foster home." Hanji hugged Levi tightly and rubbed calming circles
on his back. "When will I be able to see her?" Levi asked, his voice muffled by
Hanji's blouse. "When you reach the year mark you can have visitors, but we'd
have to clear it with her foster parents." Hanji spoke calmly. "Do you think
you could hold out that long without her?" She asked pressing a soft kiss to
the stop of his head. ".....yeah." Levi hesitated. After all, he had Hanji. She
would help him. She was the only he trusted so far. Hopefully that would change
later today. Hopefully.
~
Levi walked into the main room with Hanji by his side. "I can't stay with you
today, I have reports to sort through. But the second I'm done I'll race back
here. Will you be okay?" Hanji asked hugging the boy goodbye. "Yeah, don't
worry." He spoke softly. "If you ever feel as if you're going into shock, or
panic, press this button. It will notify me immediately." Hanji said hooking a
bracelet around Levi's wrist. It was a solid grey color with a white
rectangular button in the center. With her final goodbye she kissed him on the
forehead. "Bye pumpkin. Make some friends." She said as she turned to walk
away. The large doors closed behind her, locking the raven in the large room.
The room it self was bigger than his old house. It was two stories, giving it a
tall ceiling and free feeling. Windows lined the walls near the ceiling,
letting in natural light and helping the overall feeling of being underground.
The walls were the same as the halls and bedroom: large white sheet rock tiles.
They gave off the clean and hospital feeling. The floor was a different color
for once, a long and soft navy blue carpet. Levi felt his slipper covered feet
sink as he walked over to the sofas. The furniture was white, simple and
comfortable. Couches were placed around a coffee table, formed to start
conversation most likely. End tables with soft corners sat on either ends of
the white sofas. Blankets sat in stacks on each other. Levi grabbed one and
wrapped himself up. The feeling of having the fabric cover him gave him
comfort. Like the world couldn't see him. Like his demons couldn't find him.
Gunmetal orbs scanned over the rest of the room. A corner looked like it was
for reading, tall book shelves were stocked full. Most likely comfortable sofas
were placed in a way to form a wall between the spaces, and a small wooden
coffee table resided in the center. More blankets and pillows could be seen on
the sofas. His eyes moved on another space. The normally barren walls held
piece of art. Most of them were shit, to Levi at least, but two stood out like
polished gold against rough rock. One piece was of a large wall with a
silhouette of a man with twin blades in his hands and a cape on top. But that's
not what made Levi stare in awe. The sunset in front of the man was beautiful.
Levi had seen the sunset once or twice, but it was never this beautiful. The
yellow mixed with the orange, which then mixed with the soft pink that then
faded into a rare lavender and finally the darkening blue sky. Soft fluffy pink
and white clouds hung around in the sky, only making the sunset more flawless.
Levi was in awe of the painters talents. Just when he was about to get up and
study it further, another patient enter the main room.
"Oh! uh, I-I'm terribly sorry." A weak voice spoke. Levi turned his head to
look at the voice. The patient was tall, a giant to Levi, lean and from what
his face gave away, was embarrassed to no end. He also had brown hair and what
seemed to be soft green eyes. Levi sunk further into the blanket. "No it's
okay." He replied softly. The figure seemed slightly taken back by the soft
voice. "Uh, are you by any chance, uh, new?" The giant slowly walked closer to
Levi. The raven nodded. "I-I'm Bertolt, you are?" Bertolt sat on the opposite
sofa, he sat crisscross. "Levi.....why are you here, or is that rude to ask?"
Levi didn't make eye contact, old habits die hard. "I, uh, I'm too shy. I, um,
can't really f-function in, uh society." Bertolt stuttered, a permanent blush
on his cheeks. "Oh." Levi rest his head on his knees, his eyes drifting back
over to the paintings in the corner. "Why, uh, are you here?" Bertolt asked
meekly. "I'd rather not say." Levi answered. Not completely trusting the tall
teen. "Oh, okay." Bertolt looked away, waiting for the others to arrive of
breakfast to be served.
Just when Levi was about to speak again, the doors opened. Revealing a tall,
tanned and absolutely gorgeous teen. The brunette raised his hands above his
head as he yawned, his shirt raising a bit to reveal his toned stomach. "Hey
Berty, new kid!" The tanned teen smiled. It was like the heavens had opened up.
'Holy shit' Levi was sure he was blushing, drooling and or gaping at the teen.
"Name's Eren Yeager, nice to meet you." Eren said as he sat down next to the
raven, his arm resting behind him. "So, what's wrong with you?" Eren smirked
down at the flustered teen. Oh yes, this one is perfect.
Chapter End Notes
     Thank you for all the lovely comments. If you wish to contact me for
     any reason my tumblr is:anal-bead-lamp.tumblr.com
***** Chapter 5 *****
Chapter Summary
     Eren and Levi bond. Eren is the best person ever and Levi is hella
     cute.
Hanji entered her office with a sigh. She really loved Levi like a son. With
quick steps she took a seat at her desk. A headache began to form as she stared
at her computer screen. "I can't get any work done like this." She mumbled to
no one. "Like what?" Erwin's deep voice questioned from the door way. "Holy
hell!" Hanji jumped in her seat as Erwin chuckled. "Stop doing that." Hanji
whined rubbing her temples. "Are you okay Hanji? You don't have to run group
today, although it may help Levi if you did." Erwin said stepping closer to her
desk. "No, I'm fine. I won't abandon Levi like that. I just have a headache. It
hurts to look at the screen and to focus my eyes." Hanji explained taking off
her glasses and setting them on the dark wooden desk. "I'll leave you alone
then. Drink water and get some rest-" "I know Erwin, you're not the only one
who's a doctor." Hanji said with a strained voice. "Get well soon." With that
Erwin left. Hanji kicked off her shoes to reveal rainbow fuzzy socks. A
matching pair to Levi's. With a push, she stood up and got a bottle of water
from the mini fridge. "Today's going to be a long day." She mumbled, pulling
out a small bottle of pills.
~
Levi blushed and squirmed under the watchful eye of Eren. "So, what's wrong
with you?" He spoke. Eren's voice was deep, rich and seemed to have a slight
accent. "I, uh, don't want to talk about it." Levi stuttered, looking away. "Oh
don't be like that. Come on, I'll tell if you tell." Eren teased. Levi felt
tears pick at his eyes. As much as he didn't want to appear weak in front of
Eren, his teasing has struck the right cord. Back when he was in school the
kids had teased him. Making fun of his clothes, hair cut, and general
appearance, but they always hated the fact that he was quiet. They thought that
quiet meant weak. And it's human nature to pick on the weak.
Before he knew it, a tear was running down his face. Levi quickly hid it by
burying his face in the blanket, but Eren caught. "Oh shit, sorry." Eren said
frantically. "I, uh, don't know what to do? Berty, how do I help?" Bertolt
flushed at the attention. "I-I, I don't know." Bertolt manged to say before
hiding his face in his hands and rushing off to the book section. "Um." Eren
awkwardly wrapped his arms around Levi. His scent over powering the blankets
rose like smell. Levi froze. Not knowing what to do in the arms of the
stranger. Panic began to arise as the feeling of being dominated formed in his
stomach. Levi wanted to push Eren away, but his body had turned to jelly. Eren
begun to hum. The tune was calming. Combined with his heart beat, Levi felt the
fear melt away. Like there was no care in the world. When Eren stopped the
raven had to blinks several times to remember where he was. Levi, still
blushing, looked up at the brunette.
"Sorry about that. I didn't mean to upset you. It's just we don't get new
patients very often." Eren smiled while rubbing the back of his neck. Levi
simply nodded. "Let's play twenty questions. I go first, what's your name?"
Eren asked watching Levi mess with the hem of his pant leg. "Levi." He
whispered, Levi slightly feared that Eren hadn't heard him. "Nice to meet you
Levi." Eren smiled again, a thumbs up joining it this time. Levi faintly smiled
at the friendly gesture. "How old are you?" Levi asked, briefly looking up to
see Eren's teal orbs dancing with happiness. 'Why is a guy like you in here?'
Levi wanted to ask, the teen seemed too normal to be messed up like him. "I'm
currently eighteen years old. How old are you?" Eren returned the question.
"Sixteen, where are you from?" Levi answered and asked. "Germany, I can speak
it too. Do you know any foreign languages?" "No. Favorite color?" "Green, what
talents do you have?" "I'm kinda good in math, you?" "I can paint, dance, sing,
play chess and most musical instruments. What's your favorite food?" Eren
smiled innocently, like he hadn't just made Levi fall for him more. "Coffee-" A
loud ringing interrupted the boy. "What's that?" Levi whimpered, covering his
ears. "Breakfast." Eren smiled and pulled Levi up with him.
Turns out that the others had entered but went straight to the tables instead
of the main room. The main room was connect to the table and kitchen area,
nothing separating them besides air. Of course the flooring changed to dark
grey tile but it still had the same white tile like walls and windows lining
the upper walls. Eren held Levi's hand as they weaved through the tables. Sure
the table area was big, larger than a house, but the tables had taken up a lot
of space. Levi still had the dark blue blanket wrapped around him. He could
feel the eyes of the others on him as he walked with Eren. One with major
jealousy and rage. Levi pulled the blanket tighter before bumping into Eren.
Eren turned around to face the short teen. "Aw, you are so cute. I swear you
are made of kittens and puppies." Eren smiled brightly at the blushing raven.
"Yeager!" The lunch lady shouted at the brunette. Levi jumped and immediately
hid behind Eren. Grasping onto his shirt with shaking hands. His legs felt
weak, if he let go of Eren he would surely fall to the ground. "The fuck
Linda?!" Eren yelled back before turning to Levi.
His eyes were wide with tears brimming at the water line. "Oh shit." Eren
wrapped his arms around the teen before hoisting him up on his hip. Levi was
looked like a child with their mother as Eren hummed a calming tune to the
raven. But the shouting seemed to have had a worse effect than the teasing.
Eren ignored the curious looks from the others as he grabbed a single tray and
loaded twice the amount of food on it. Two plates of eggs, Eren hoped Levi
liked fried eggs, two bowls of cut fruit, two pieces of toast, four strips of
bacon, and two hot mugs of coffee. Of course it's decaf, doctors didn't want
their sleeping patterns to change or the medicine to have a defect. Eren
balanced the two weights easily as he walked to his table. Well, the one he
liked to sit at anyways. Being at the hospital for over six years made you a
little possessive over somethings.
Eren set down the food with care for the cups of coffee. Then sitting down with
Levi in his lap. "Shh, it's okay pumpkin. It's okay." Eren whispered rocking
back and forth while rubbing calming circled into Levi's back. Five minutes
later Levi apologized and scrambled off of Eren's lap. "I'm sorry, I didn't
mean to. I'm sorry for being a bother. I really am, I'm sorry." He said
quickly. Fear in his eyes and gut. Eren simply laughed at him. "Don't worry,
you're no trouble. It's partially my fault for the attack. I was the one who
got yelled at." Eren chuckled with a sweet smile showing. Levi felt the fear
melt like ice on a hot summer's day.
"Now, I did not manged to carry you and twice the amount of food for nothing.
Eat up, I want to keep talking with you." Eren said handing Levi his coffee.
Levi smiled faintly but it was enough for Eren. "Thank you." Levi whispered as
he ate. "No problem. It's fun having a new person around." 'Now I just have to
keep my temper under control' Eren said biting into a piece of toast. "Yeager,
who's the new bitch?" 'Motherfucker'
***** Chapter 6 *****
Chapter Summary
     Sickeningly sweet fluff and a look into the reasons why the others
     are at Sina Mental Institution.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"Yeager, who's the bitch?" 'Motherfucker' Eren smiled too sweetly to be real as
he stood and faced the voice. "Oh you know the one who isn't going to be
bullied by your shit behavior. We all know that without the drugs you'd be a
mess, Jean Kirstein." Eren growled with a smile still plastered on his face.
"Oh man Yeager, you're really asking for it today." Jean cracked his knuckles.
Levi watched from the table as Eren and Jean stare each down with a piece of
toast in his mouth. 'Who is this asshole?' Levi thought watching the horse
faced teen bare his teeth. Eren simply stood still, a sickeningly sweet smile
on his face as his fists clenched then unclenched. 'He's trying to calm him
temper. Does he have an anger issue? He seems too sweet for that. He didn't
even snap when I became a burden.....again' Levi thought to himself. "Break it
up boys. Kirstein, I'm disappointed. Yeager, good job containing your anger."
Mrs. Aberline spoke entering the lunchroom.
Eren dropped his fake smile and replaced it with a small genuine one. "Thank
you miss." The brunette sat back down and continued eating next to Levi. Jean
glared at Eren before stomping away to his table. Levi turned to look at the
now perfectly calm brunette. "What was that about?" Levi asked meekly. "Oh Jean
Kirstein. He's a schizophrenic with anger issues that likes to pick on the
newbies. Don't worry, stick with me and you'll be okay." Eren smiled at the
raven. Levi relaxed, having someone who would stick with him, someone who
wouldn't betray him, was comforting. The two ate with little conversation in
between. Once the thirty minute mark hit the patients all stood with their
trays and walked to a large white door off to the side. Levi followed after
Eren like a duckling. Eren had no problem with that, he really like Levi. How
cute and shy he was. It was refreshing from the constant white, navy blue and
more white. His gunmetal orbs were endless and his soft meek voice made Eren
want to hug him and never let anything hurt him again. But he feared himself.
How he could hurt the small raven at the flip of a switch. He didn't want to
hurt the younger teen, so he refrained from anything that could cause a spout
of anger.
"Come on, we're heading to group." Eren said with another smile. "Okay." Levi
nodded and followed after the taller teen. The large group of twelve patients
walked down a wide yet short short with different rooms on either side. The
group found their way into a large room, a circle of comfortable chairs was in
the middle with a larger one placed at one end. Hanji sat there with a
clipboard in her hands and a glass of what appeared to be coffee next to her.
"Sit, we'll begin soon." Hanji spoke with a kind smile. Her eyes shining
happily as Levi stuck close to Eren. The pair sat next to each. "Okay, since we
have a new patients here, let's introductions and why you are here. Reiner,
would you begin?" Hanji asked the large blonde next to her.
"I'm Reiner Braun, I have sever anger issues which cause me to get in fights a
lot." The blonde sat back down. Eren stood, "I'm Eren Yeager, I have black out
periods where I can't control my actions." He spoke vaguely before he sat back
down. Levi didn't stand, only crumbling into his blanket further. "Levi
Ackerman, depression." Levi only said the half of it. The eyes of those around
him, judging him, questioning him, picking him apart. "Historia Reiss, I ran
away from my family twelve times, created a fake identity and have depression."
The small blonde spoke. Her soft voice and appearance completely contrary to
her story. "Ymir, anger issues I guess." A tanned girl with freckles spoke in a
monotone voice. "Jean Kirstein, I see my dead friend all the time and Yeager
annoys the hell out of me." The two toned male spoke with a slight growl. Levi
flinched at the tone, Eren put a comforting arm around him, Levi leaned into
the touch. "Connie Springer, I developed a love for pranks when I was younger.
Of course they evolved into setting fires, setting off bombs in empty alley
ways and making napalm in my kitchen." Connie had stood up with a happy spring
in his step and sat back down with a happy smile. "Sasha Blouse, my mother
hated me for some reason. So she controlled everything about me. Where I went,
who I spoke to, how I dress, how I talked, when I went to bed, even I how I
fucking wrote my name. I need some control, I craved it. I found it in my diet.
I could control my weight, the one thing she couldn't." Sasha ranted with an
every growing grin but was calmed with a few comforting pats on the back by
Connie.
"Armin Arlert, I watched my grandfather be publicly executed. After that my
mother began drinking, then beating me whenever she wanted. Seeking control, I
played mind games with her. Making her question weather or not she placed her
keys near the door or in her purse. Small things like that till I had convinced
her that she had killed someone. It was funny watching her pace in the living
room, till she got angry and began to beat me again." The blonde coconut sat
back down, tears forming in his eyes and a psychotic grin on his lips. "Mikasa
Ackerman, I was told that obsession with my crush was unhealthy. I beat the
person who said that and anyone who got in the way." Mikasa sat back down, her
face had never change. Blank, pale and beautiful. "B-Bertolt Hoover, I, uh, am
really shy." The tall boy stuttered, his face was red and he had begun
sweating. "Annie Leonhart, my father forced me into fighting competitions. When
I won those, he forced me into underground fighting. When I had begun to lose
he pumped me full of drugs and sent me out in the ring." The blonde girl with
icy blue eyes sat back down. "Great job, let's continue with the session shall
we?" And with that the session continued. It mostly consisted of telling
triggers, ways to combat them, and how to trust people again. An hour later
they were finally done.
"We have free time now. If you want I could show you the piano." Eren smiled as
he walked down the hall with Levi's hand in his. Levi simply nodded as he was
lead back to the main room by this god sent angel. "Levi!" Hanji shouted as she
ran down the hall. She wore a wide smile as she looked at the pair. They had
bonded quickly. "Yes?" Levi replied, his voice at a normal volume for once. "I
told you that I would visit you after my reports and sessions, but I can see
that you've met Eren." Hanji wiggled her eyebrows in Levi's face. The raven
teen shuffled back with a renewed blush. "Aw, I'm just teasing. Remember
pumpkin if you ever feel like talking, I'm here!" She said running off again.
Levi watched the female brunette run away before turning to face Eren. "Uh,
What do we do now?" He didn't get a verbal response, instead a large smile. But
if was just as good.
Eren took Levi's hand once more before darting off to the main room. The
brunette immediately led the smaller teen over to another section, one that
Levi didn't get to view, and sat him down. Surrounded them were musical
instruments, all of them had a lock on. Keeping unskilled players from creating
racket. Eren took out a key and unlocked the piano. He lifted the wooden cover
to reveal the black and white keys. Eren held a look of sadness before
relaxation replaced it. Levi had caught it, it wasn't that hard seeing as the
older teen is like an open book. Levi began to think about why Eren was here in
the first place. During group he was pretty quiet, secretive, not giving
anything away unless Hanji dug for it. It all made Levi curious as to what Eren
was burying. But he was snapped out of his thoughts by the beautiful melody
coming from trained hands.
The whole atmosphere within the main room seemed to calm down. Most
conversations quieted down to nothing and all movement was frozen. Levi had the
thought of how such a kind and flawless human like him could possibly be in
here with a fuck up like him. Levi didn't know how long Eren had been playing,
only the fact that he had fallen asleep to the calming music was apparent to
him. Eren looked over at the raven. He had heard the raven had trouble sleeping
without Hanji from listening in on a conversation. It made him ecstatic beyond
belief that Levi was able to fall asleep with no troubles. He didn't want Levi
to relive anything he had before. He wanted to pave a new path for him and Levi
to walk down. Together.
 
But of course fate has a different idea for them.
Chapter End Notes
     My mind has turned to mush from the comments. You all are so kind.
     If you wish to contact me for any reason, my tumblr is anal-bead-
     lamp.tumblr.com
     Have a wonderful day and continue feeding me my life blood -comments
***** Chapter 7 *****
Chapter Summary
     Eren reveals one of his many hidden faces.
"evi, Levi you need to wake up." Levi slowly opened his gunmetal eyes to see
teal orbs staring back at him with a sickening amount of love in them. "What?"
He voice was raspy and held a sense of vulnerability. "Come on, let's get you
some lunch." Eren spoke softly as he helped the small teen up. Levi simply
nodded, acknowledging the empty feeling in his stomach. "Today I'm pretty sure
it's something with chicken and for dessert there's pudding, cookies and coffee
cake- HUH?" Eren looked down to see Levi with wide hopeful eyes, a small but
bright smile on his lips as they walked closer to the tables. The scent of the
heavenly dishes wafted through the air, Levi couldn't wait for his taste buds
to finally taste the orgasmic cake.
The pair stuck together as they got in live for lunch. The others in line as
well. Jean seemed to be mumbling to the air with a longing look in his eyes
before he spotted Eren. "Yeager! Marco says you're a piece of shit!" Jean
chuckled to himself seeing Eren step forward at him. Levi darted his hand out
to hold Eren's subconsciously. Eren instinctively yanked his hand away from
Levi's as he stomped forward. "Tell your ghost of a boyfriend to fuck off!"
Eren growled, his voice was rough and anyone could tell he was a minor trigger
away from snapping. "Eren-" "I thought you had more self control than this,
Yeager. Me and Marco both know that you're going to hurt Levi. You'll feel his
blood." Jean taunted, cutting off Levi.
"Motherfucker you did this." Eren mumbled as he rolled up his sleeves. Levi
didn't bother to take a moment to ogle at the strangely sexually pleasing
forearms, his only thoughts were on the fighting. The others had backed up a
surprising amount and the kitchen workers were covering food before hiding in
the back. "Levi, come on! There's no stopping them now." Armin called out, his
hand was outstretched. Levi scrambled over to the blonde before anything
happened to him.
His pulse was already racing and his breathing was catching up. Levi felt the
oncoming attack but couldn't pull the strength to his arms to push the button.
The group hid behind a table as Jean cracked his knuckles. "Careful Yeager, I'm
going to win this round-" A strong, jaw breaking punch cut him off. His body
hit the ground with deep thud. Eren hadn't said a word since his last sentence.
It was like someone had taken over his body. Levi felt his body begin to shake
as he witnessed who he thought was an angel grabbed Jean's collar and hold him
in the air. His feet dangling only inches above the tiled flooring. "This is
the monster you're hanging with." Jean grunted before Eren threw him to the
side. Jean's short flight was stopped by a table. His back made a sickening
crunch as it hit the edge.
The enraged brunette grabbed Jean once more by the collar before repeatedly
punching him in the face. The crack of his nose, the squish of the blood
combined with the sputtered breaths made Levi sick. The complete power Eren
held over Jean. The way he didn't care about his well being. The way his
inhuman growls sent shivers of remembrance down his spine of that night. Levi
tighten his grip on his arms. His blunt nails digging through the blanket, his
shirt and into the skin. The stabbing pain of the red crescents couldn't
distract him from the tightening of his throat, the chill that spread through
his body, the clear noise of his blood acting as lubricant squishing in his
ears.
Levi fell to the ground, his thin legs no longer able to carry the heavy weight
above them. Armin dropped soon after him. The fear in his dark blue eyes was
evident enough that this was bring back memories for him too. Annie's ice blue
eyes darted around. Looking for that damned cackling that overpowered her
thoughts. "Go away!" She screamed, dropping to her knees as she held her head
in her hands. She tightened her grip to the point of pulling her light blonde
hair out. "Please, I'll win." She whimpered between sobs.
Eren let out a what could only be described as a roar. Levi could feel his
brain rattle from the noise. Doctors and other personnel rushed into the room.
The ones who weren't doctors were dressed head-to-toe in black S.W.A.T armor.
"Eren Yeager, calm down!" Hanji shouted, hidden behind three guards with riot
shields. The enraged brunette turned to the voice. Dropping the unconscious and
bleeding Jean, Eren ran at the crowd of S.W.A.T and doctors. "Fire!"
Tranquilizing shots ran out. Eren being hit with four of them. Tanned hands
ripped them all out. A deep growl sounding from his throat before rushing back
at them. "Another round!" The S.W.A.T began to load their dart guns once more.
Eren's claw like hand easily gripped the S.W.A.T helmet. In a spilt second his
knee went through the visor and into the man's face. The crunch of the plexi-
glass and his nose along with the screams as the shards entered the man's face
filled the already noisy room.
More orders were shouted out as Eren continued to beat the team bloody. "Eren,
snap out of it!" Hanji shouted at the top of her lungs. Her roar of a voice
silenced the room. Eren paused for a second before standing taller. A deep
growl leaving his throat as if to say 'come at me, just try to take me down'.
The brunette charged at the group. Pushing the others away like scum before he
was only inches away from Hanji. "EREN!" Levi screeched. Everyone looked over
at the boy. Each holding a different expression. "Levi." Eren mumbled weakly
before fainting. Hanji, though stumbling quite a bit, caught him. A wave of
relief washed over the room. The other doctors, Erwin, Mrs. Aberline, Mike, and
Mr. Coles, rushed over to the group of shaking patients.
Erwin held Armin to his chest, rocking back and forth and patting along with
his heart beat on the smaller blonde's back. Armin had fallen into a half
conscious state before Erwin handed him off to Mike. Erwin sprinted over to
Jean. His eyes wide at the damage. "Get a stretcher, there's no way his back
isn't broken." Erwin ordered. A few of the nurses ran out and returned with a
stretcher. They carefully transferred him on it before exiting the room. Levi
stared at the mess that Eren had created. Blood stained the dark tile, white
tables, lunch bar and the walls. "I can't trust him either." He whispered
holding his chest tightly. His breathing began to pick up. He had let Eren hold
him. He let Eren in his walls. Eren knew that he could lose control and hurt
him. He had humiliated Levi. Letting him stick to him like a new born baby to
their mother. 'The others think I'm a moron for trusting him. They'll never
accept me. Who knows how they'll react when I led on my own uncle.' Levi began
to chuckle. His shambles of what his world once was, was falling even farther
apart. The pieces that could have once been put back together turned to ash.
'Of course it's me who falls this far into insanity'
As Levi feeling his world crumbling to the point of no return, Eren had woken
up to chains the bitter cold darkness. He once more felt the cold hands of
someone he cursed everyday of his life creeping around his body, mainly near
the lower half.
"Such a good boy......such a good boy."
***** Chapter 8 *****
Chapter Summary
     Erwin snaps and we learn about Eren's past.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Eren awoke with a scream. His gauze wrapped hands moving over his body quickly
in effort to push the ghost hands away from him. "Please!" He sobbed into the
darkness. His pulse began racing as his breaths became weak. The darkness
brought back terrible memories. Awful thoughts that plagued his nightmares.
"Someone please turn the light back on!" He shouted gripping his head. His
fingernails scraping along his scalp. The sting that followed made him freeze.
It was so similar. "Please, just turn the lights on. I hate the dark. I HATE
IT!" Eren brought his legs to his chest as he rocked back and forth. Hot tears
ran down his tanned cheeks before dropping to his exposed collar bones.
"Please......just turned the lights on." He whimpered, his voice desperate and
pleading. 'I don't want to belong to the darkness anymore.' He thought as the
exhaustion got to him.
~
Erwin walked down the hall, his dress shoes making small yet resonating taps as
he quickly found his way into his office. Hanji, Mike, Mr. Coles, Mrs.
Aberline, and the nurses stood inside, most wearing a face, some in shock, and
one with horror. "Erwin!" Hanji spoke up, her face showing her emotions. "When
was the last time he had snapped? Why was he allowed to be with the others! WHO
LET HIM NEARLY KILL ANOTHER PATIENT!" Erwin roared. The staff flinched back in
fear. Some tearing up. Hanji stood with her head down. A look of pure horror
turned to one of tears. "I thought he and Levi could-" "YOU. You let a patient
with a record of snapping and beating others to death, one who had ripped three
adult men to shreds, one who had murdered his own parents before eating their
bodies raw, converse with someone who wouldn't be able to defend himself
against a ten year old girl. With little to no supervision. Do you know how
dangerous that was. How long did it take for him to snap after meeting Levi?
Who in their right mind let that poor, already broken boy watch who he thought
was a good person, beat another patient into a coma and another three officers
to the point of no recovery. You don't deserve to be a doctor. You've fucked up
Hanji, in ways that you don't-" "I KNOW I'VE FUCKED UP. I know that I've ripped
another thing away from him. I know that I've broken him to the point that I'm
not even sure that he can recover. But I am going to fix this. It's my last
dying wish for this boy to get back on his feet. To become strong enough to
know that he's perfect the way he is. That it's not his fault that his sick
excuse for a family abandoned him. That his crack whore of a mother didn't
abandon him because he wasn't good enough. I want him to love himself and
others. Now, if you'll stop yelling because of a mistake that anyone could have
made, I have a patient who literally hates himself and thinks no one can be
trusted." Hanji retorted. Her voice breaking in several areas. Erwin was left
in silence. Hanji had never snapped at him. No mater how mad he had gotten at
her, she always apologized calmly and made it up. But this time, he knew saying
she doesn't deserve to be a doctor crossed the line. After all, it was the only
thing she was good at. It even tore what she last had apart. "Mike, could you
go check on Yeager? If he's awake stick a needle in him, I don't want to
replace another wall of bars." Erwin sighed sitting down at his desk. "Yes,
sir." Mike left the room with two nurses in tow. 'Hanji why did you do this? He
should have stayed in the second basement. Locked away like the monster he is.'
Erwin sighed as he buried his head in his hands.
~
Levi laid on his bed silently crying. Tears found their way out, not bothering
to ask permission. His breathing was calm, unlike his thoughts. They were
racing with what had happened. Another person crossed off the list of people he
could trust. "E-Eren, why?" He sobbed, his throat cutting off his voice before
any more words could leave. "Levi." A woman's voice spoke sweetly. Like a
mother watching her son cry over the death of the family pet. "Hanji." Levi
whimpered sitting up. "Hey pumpkin." The brunette woman looked down at the
small teen with a mixture of emotions. Levi weakly held his arms out at the
woman. "Please?" He added softly to the gesture. Hanji smiled slightly before
walking over to the bed. She laid down next to the boy, letting him wrap his
thin arms around her and rest his head on her shoulder.
The two laid in silence. Levi's tears had stopped when Hanji had entered the
room, she had a calming effect on him. Her voice calmed his demons to whispers.
But it could compare to Eren's single glance that silenced his demons to
nothing. The glance that made him forget everything bad in the world. Those
absolutely stunning turquoise orbs caused him to fall in love. "How ya feeling
pumpkin?" Hanji whispered. Her voice seemed strained, like she had been crying
and or screaming before hand. "....I don't know." Levi mumbled into her
shoulder. "Same." The two stayed in another long silence. But both parties were
still very much awake. The events that had happened only hours before still
shook Levi to his core, making sleep impossible for now. Hanji was stuck
thinking about her actions. Had she really put Levi in that much danger? The
way Eren had looked at Levi, like he was the most beautiful thing in the world,
said otherwise.
"Do you know what made Eren snap in the first place?" Hanji spoke once more.
The mention of the brunette's name made Levi flinch. "...Jean had gone off
about his self control. How he would end up hurting me somehow." Levi answered,
pronouncing Jean's name wrong. Hanji hummed in response. She knew that she
didn't make a mistake. Eren never wanted to hurt the raven, only to protect
him. But Erwin was furious. He wouldn't let Eren within a twenty foot radius of
Levi again. "How do ya feel about him?" Hanji turned her head to look at the
teen's thoughtful expression. ".....don't tell Erwin, or anyone else?" Levi
blushed deeply as he dug his face deeper into Hanji's shoulder. "Pinky
promise." She held up her pinky, a childish grin on her lips. Levi smiled
softly holding up his pinky as well.
"Before, I thought he was perfect. I was always thinking how someone with such
a flawless personality was here of all places. How someone so beautiful could
possibly be broken in a way that he would have to be locked away for......but
now I don't know." Levi took in a breath. His blush going down. "Now, I still
get butterflies in my stomach whenever I think of him. But I also get the
feeling that something bad is going to happen. That he's going to turn against
me and harm me like he-" "Levi, don't you ever compare Eren to that monster.
Let me tell you a little about him. Eren was the son of a well known doctor.
His father, Grisha Yeager, had saved a whole city from an outbreak of measles.
That man was held in high regards. No mater he did, weather it was drink to an
excess or yell at his wife, he was forgiven by the city police." Hanji paused
to hold in the disgust she felt and take a breathe.
"When Eren was born the man began to practically train the boy. Starting at the
age of seven, Eren was forced into many sports. Soccer, baseball, football, any
thing you could think of. From the age the boy could read, he was forced to
read high level books and write reports to prove he read them. When he turned
ten, you know what his birthday present was? It was the gift of a beating. The
boy had begged his mother to make a cake for him. Saying that the kids in his
class got one on their birthdays. His mother had agreed. When Grisha came home
to see Carla and the boy frosting the cake, he flipped. He destroyed the cake
that they had worked hours on, then beat them both. Eren never asked for
anything again. Not wanting to hurt his mother. Grisha pushed the boy further
and further. Eren skipped many grades, learned things that most adults don't
know even now. By the age of eleven he was a genius, he knew how to play over
twenty instruments, read, write and speak in German, Japanese, Turkish,
English, Latin, and Spanish and he was polite as could be. This was when the
black out periods began." Hanji paused once more. He voice had begun to waver.
Levi listen in slight awe. Eren was amazing. Knowing so much but still being
caring and compassionate with those most would consider less than them. It made
Levi's heart swell, but the mention of his black out periods made him stop dead
in the tracks of forgiveness to the brunette. "Grisha had apparently been
doping the boy up on some drug. Using their large basement as a lab, he made a
serum to make the boy stronger, smarter, and even more perfect. He had it named
'Titan'. Of course Eren was the first test subject. The side effects were the
black out periods. Grisha took detailed notes of them. At first they started
out with simple fainting, sometimes it would be like Eren had left his body and
nothing took his place. His body simply stood or sat there. But as time went
on, his anger grew. His temper shortened and it only took a few small words to
make him snap. Grisha quickly realized this and began treating the boy more
like he wasn't there. Eren had snapped and attacked his father. The years of
sports with the added serum made him stronger, with almost titan like strength,
Eren had beaten his father to the point of near death. We're not sure how
Grisha had managed to get the boy chained and locked in the basement, but he
had. He transferred the boy into home-school to keep Eren away from the public
as he used him like a test subject that he could use however he wanted. Eren
has never told us what happened after that. He always either broke down into
tears, didn't respond or snapped. We could never get passed that wall he set
up. We have a few suspicions that Grisha had beat, starved, and did many other
things to him during the year and half the boy was in that basement." Hanji
finished, her voice cracking and her throat had protested use harshly.
Levi tightened his grip on the woman as tears began to form. He had never known
how badly Eren had it. He thought the boy simply had anger issues during his
black out periods. But it was much deeper than that. "I thought that he was a
monster. That he only gained my trust to break me further." Levi sobbed, his
heart breaking at his own behavior. "It's okay. Tomorrow I'll take you to see
him. I believe the only reason he snapped was because you were threatened. I
think he loves you." Hanji said before coughing. Levi blushed deeply before
raising his head. "Where is Eren?" Levi asked, a curious expression showing on
his face. "He's in the second basement. When we first got him, we had to make
it so he couldn't get out easily. The boy is much stronger than he looks."
Hanji added a dry chuckle. Levi looked down at his hands, they were gripping
the white sheets loosely. "Hey Hanji, why do bad things happen to good people?"
Levi whispered tightening his grip. ".....I don't know either." Hanji replied
staring at the boys pained expression.
'I really don't know'
Chapter End Notes
     I had a fun time writing this chapter. Although I believe some of
     Eren's past is over the top, I think it adds to the facade that he's
     somehow managed to put up. I'm sorry for any timeline mistakes, as I
     have slightly forgotten a few of the dates I had set up for Eren's
     past, hopefully it sounds correct and not like a giant cluster fuck.
     As always, comments, criticisms and compliments are welcomed. If your
     question wasn't answered in this chapter, it will be in the next few
     ❤
***** Chapter 9 *****
Chapter Summary
     Eren snaps once more, Erwin and Hanji make up, and someone get's
     closer to Levi.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
The tall blonde under the name of Mike, entered the basement. The low ceilings
made it difficult for him to move around, his head occasionally bumping with
the smooth white ceiling. "Yeager?" He called out, the dark end of the room was
completely silent. Not even the sound of faint breathing could be heard.
"Yeager." Mike called out once more as he turned on the light inside the cell.
Eren was hunched over. Mike sniffed the air, there was the heavy scent of sweat
and body odor along with a hint of blood. Mike quickly turned the brightness
up, the lights inside the chamber shone brightly. "Yeager, are you alright?"
Mike called out, his fist lightly knocking on the thick glass. "Be a good boy
and pick your head up." Eren twitched, his head slowly rose to expose the blood
stained skin around his mouth, bared teeth and what appeared to be bits of torn
flesh between his straight now stained teeth.
Mike stumbled back, his feet losing their stance, sending him to the floor. The
tall man stared at Eren as the brunette torn bigger, more bloody chunks out of
his hands and arms. The squelch, slush and slurp of the blood and chunks of
muscle was disgusting at best. The nauseating scent of copper twisted Mike's
stomach. His mouth salivated before his lunch came up. The stomach acid and
bits of food splattered against the dark stone floors, adding another horrid
scent to the air. "Yeager, can you be a good boy and calm down?" Mike said
forcing himself up. Eren snapped his head up. His eyes shone brightly with the
need to kill. Mike cleared his throat, ignoring the taste of vomit, and
approached the control panel for the large door. As he was pressing in the long
digit code out of the corner of his eye Eren was messing with the chains that
held him down. Mike turned his head to get a better view of the boy when Eren's
face suddenly appeared against the thick glass. Mike jumped back once more, the
smear of the blood and the deep growl sent a fearful shiver down his spine. The
boy had eaten away at his hands enough for the blood to slick his hands up for
the chains to slip off. He was now free in his cell.
Eren reeled his fist back, Mike scrambled to get to the phone. His hands shook
as Eren repeatedly punched the glass. Although he knew that the reinforced
glass was impossible to break with just your fists, the resonating bang of the
glass injected fear into his veins. With the last button pushed, Mike held the
phone to his ear. A few seconds passed, the phone connecting with the other.
"What do you need?" Erwin's tired voice spoke, the shouting he had done at
Hanji must have taken a large amount of energy. "Yeager is awake and out of the
cuffs." Mike spoke quickly.
CRACK
Mike slowly turned around, hoping to any and every god that it was his
imagination that thought up the horrifying sound. His brown eyes widen almost
comically so. Eren's blood covered fist was at the center of a spider web
crack. "he broke the glass." Mike whispered, his voice shaking. He leaned
against the wall, his limbs shook with fear as Eren's rabid growls got louder
through the expanding cracks. "What do you mean he broke the glass! It's
military grade!" Erwin shouted, the thumps of repeated foot steps in the
background told Mike that he was running. Eren threw his fist back into the
glass, the shatter, the fall and the landing of the glass seemed to be in slow
motion as Eren lept through it all at the blonde man. "Fuck-" Mike was cut off
by a rough curse and shove at Eren. The brunette was thrown to the side but
quickly stabilized his landing. His bloodied hands stained the floor as Erwin
helped Mike up and out of the danger zone. Nurses came rushing down, a few
carrying different kinds of anesthetic. "I'll hold him down, inject him with
enough to knock him out for a while. Do you all understand?" Erwin stated, his
eyes never leaving the feral patient in front of him. The nurses nodded and
faced their opponent.
Erwin lept at the brunette, wrapping his strong arms around the teen's body in
a solid hold. Eren thrashed about, his elbows making the point to hit Erwin
every time. Petra inject the boy with a large amount of sedative, his body soon
went limp. The mood of fear was soon replaced by the over whelming need to
clean the second basement. The added stench of more body odor with the vomit,
blood and previous rank aroma of Eren made the room unbearable. The staff could
run their hands through the physical smell in the air. Erwin gladly took the
teen boy back into the cell. He held his body near the sink as another nurse
cleaned his wounds.
Clear bite marks littered his caramel skin. Chunks of missing flesh stood out
like black on white. Erwin had managed to keep his stomach in check as shredded
bits of muscle, nerves and veins made faint 'splat' noises against the metal
basin. The other nurses however did not. Most of them donated their lunches
into the trash can, one managed on the toilet and the last on the floor. Petra
was the only one that stood strong. Her petite body was more than it seemed as
she could help wash Eren and hold his body slightly. "Good job Petra." Erwin
nodded to her, she simply smiled. "This is my job." She replied lightly dabbing
the skin with a hand towel before wrapping Eren's whole arm in gauze. Erwin
silently thanks her with a nod as he laid the unconscious brunette on the still
blood stained bed.
"He really is a monster isn't he?" Petra mumbled as she and Erwin stripped the
boy of his clothes. Where his teeth couldn't get, his nails took over. His
calves held scattered teeth marks but his inner thighs were striped. His blunt
nails had dug deep into the skin, ripping the skin and into the muscle.
"....Yeah." Erwin replied. They cleaned the wounds before wrapping them with
copious amounts of gauze. By the end of it, Eren's caramel skin couldn't be
seen. He was covered nearly head-to-toe in gauze. "Get a drip, we'll keep him
under for a while till he can be safely reentered to the others." Erwin order.
"You make him sound like a rabid animal." Hanji somber voice spoke from the
doorway. "Hanji, where the hell were you? Mike was nearly killed by this
monster-" "So you think he's a monster? Huh, you know the reason why he flipped
in the first place was because Kirstein had threatened Levi. Eren was only
protecting him, don't you see? Eren would never hurt him." Hanji spoke with
conviction. Her eyes shimmering with determination. "I don't want to have this
talk now Hanji. Someone get the drip, Hanji follow me to my office." Erwin said
walking out from the cell, through the hall that was soaked in a stew of blood
and broken glass. "We'll have to fix that too." Erwin took a mental note as he
left the second basement and entered the first, Hanji following after him.
~
"So what you're saying is that Eren is perfectly safe to be around Levi?" Erwin
repeated what Hanji had said, just in a much shorter and compressed version.
"Yes, all we need to do to make sure no one else gets hurt is to make sure no
one else threatens Levi. Levi is lonely without him. He needs Eren as much as
he needs me Erwin." Hanji said rising out of her seat. "If that started the
first attack, then what triggered his need to murder Mike." Erwin was tired,
his body ached from the abuse by Eren and he just wanted to take a shower and
go to bed. "Hmm, Eren's trigger words!" "What?" "Eren has many trigger words.
'Calm down' 'be good for me' 'good boy' THEY ALL TRIGGER HIM!" Hanji shouted.
"Knowing Mike's somewhat fatherly nature he probably said something along those
lines. Mike, Mike triggered the attack. Erwin come on. If we sit him down, I'm
sure we can break through and figure out what happened during those nineteen
months he was in that basement!" Hanji was talking in a loud and relief filled
voice. Her face displayed her emotions perfectly, a wide smile, eyes wide with
hope, brows raised and hair stuck to her forehead from the pacing and constant
talking, not to mention the running she was doing before she showed up in the
second basement.
"Hanji, you know how hard we've tried before-" "Let's do it differently this
time. Let someone he trusts ask him the question. Someone he would never hurt.
Levi-" "No, we're- I'm not letting that monster near Kuchel's son. I won't
break my promise to her." Erwin stated with conviction. "Erwin, just trust me
on this. When have I ever been wrong with Eren?" Hanji said, her voice at a
normal volume but it held a sweet, motherly tone to it. "Levi needs someone to
trust and Eren needs someone to love. This is their chance to form a deep bond
that will continue outside of the institution." Hanji approached the blonde
man. Her shaky hands hidden behind her back as she rounded the large desk.
"....I guess. if anything goes wrong-" "I know, I know, I know. you'll dissect
my insides and figure out what made me such a great doctor.' Hanji smiled
widely, her hands no longer shook. "I mean it." Erwin sent her a half hearted
glare. "Yeah, I know. Thank you, I know you care about Levi but sheltering him
won't help." Hanji mumbled walking out of the messy office. The blonde leaned
back in his chair. Although all he wanted to do was sleep, his mind felt the
need to race with the possible thoughts of Grisha and Carla Yeager. 'What did
you two do to that boy?'
~
Hanji arrived at Levi's room with a wide smile on her face. Her smile soon
dropped to an expression of concern when she saw another figure in the room.
"What happened?" Levi asked, his voice timid yet curious. "He jumped at me, his
mouth open wide and spit was all over the place. It was scary. I don't think I
could go through that again." The woman said, hugging herself. "Who are you?"
Hanji questioned, her tone was serious, matching her expression. "Oh I'm Petra,
we've worked together for years." The young woman introduced herself with a
bright smile, her voice completely different from the one before. Hanji
narrowed her eyes at the hand Petra extended. "I'm here to speak with my
patient, if you would leave," 'and never return,' "that would be nice." Hanji
gave a sickly sweet smile, even a blind man could tell the smile was fake.
"Okay, see you later Levi." Petra smiled at the raven before leaving the room.
"I was able to convince Erwin to let you see Eren again!" Hanji spoke with
excitement, her personality flipping again. Levi hunched over, his arms between
his legs as he thought it out. Hanji sensed the hesitation and leaned down next
to him. "What's wrong?" Hanji rubbed calming circles on Levi back out of
instinct. Levi only tensed further.
"I'm not sure if I want to see him again."
Chapter End Notes
     Sorry for the late update. I've been rewriting another fic and
     starting a completely new one. 'I Thought I Lost You' will be
     returning just at a later date. The story line wasn't going as I
     planned and the writing itself wasn't up to par. By October 6th you
     should see it back up though, I apologize for the inconvenience ❤
***** Chapter 10 *****
Chapter Summary
     Eren's demons come back to haunt him.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"Hey buddy." A voice called out a term of endearment. Muffled whimpers of
protest fell on deaf ears as the voice neared the small preteen boy locked in
the cellar. "Be a good boy." The raspy voice whispered next to the boy's ear.
The boy curled into himself, the hot breath with the hint of mint repulsed him.
Made him sick to his very core. The older man trailed light touches down the
boys exposed torso. Stopping every once in a while to lay a delicate kiss on
the caramel skin. The boy thrashed around, or tried to at least. Long pieces of
rope held his limbs down and a final piece held his torso in place.
Hot tears ran down his cheeks as the older man slipped down the flimsy pants he
had on. "Just relax and this will be over sooner." the man spoke against the
boy's inner thigh, his breath hitting his exposed member. The boy whimpered, he
didn't want this, nobody would. This man, who spoke to him like they were
together, was no one he knew. They were foreign. Completely alien to what he
knew. The boy wanted to scream, thrash about, punch, kick, do what ever it took
to get out of this situation he could. But the binds held true. No mater how
hard he tried to pulled his wrists or legs out of them, they only managed to
scrape his skin, leaving small torn skin flags that stung when the air touched
them. 'Please, don't do this, not again!' The wanted to shout, but didn't
knowing the gag would make speech impossible. The man gripped the soft shaft
and slowly gave it a few pumps. The man's breathing had increased along with
his grin. The boy turned his head to the side and screamed as the man entered
two fingers into him, dry.
The man's eyes shined with joy. Completely ecstatic at the pain the boy before
was experiencing. The boy's pleas for mercy only came out as sobs, hiccups and
choked sounds of pain. "Such a good boy." The man whispered as he fumbled with
his belt. 'NO, please! I don't want this!" The boy poured every ounce of energy
he had into his arms. Ignoring the pain as the rough rope scraped more layers
of skin as he tore through the knots. "Shit! No." The man threw himself back as
the boy's eyes changed. His once innocent and pleading look transformed to one
of pure hatred, murder and animalistic rage. "Now, now, Calm down boy." The man
called out, his voice shaking as he scrambled back. The boy didn't listen only
throwing himself forward to attack the man. "Eren!"
That's right. His name is Eren Yeager, thirteen years old, father is Grisha
Yeager, the one laying before him, mother is Carla Yeager, the one standing at
the doorway with a look of horror. Eren snapped his attention over to his
mother. The woman stood still, her body frozen in fear. "Eren, calm down. Be a
good boy and listen to daddy." Grisha called out, his tone of voice not
demanding in the slightest. Eren glared down at the man out of the corner of
his eye. the glint of rage in his eyes only growing. A growl left his mouth,
his teeth bared and his hands flexed into claw like positions. "Eren, calm down
baby." Grisha spoke once more, his voice and hands shaking.
A second of silence followed. But was cut short by Grisha's disparate cries of
pains. Eren ripped his arms from their socks. Enjoying every scream, whimper,
sob, gasp, squelch, squish and sound in between was a heavenly sound to the
enraged boy. Carla watched from the doorway, her legs weren't would move. Like
they were made of solid lead and nothing else. Her hands shot up to offer some
weak level of protection against the raging beast before her. Eren grinned
almost sickeningly wide as the light faded from his father's eyes. "Eren,
baby?" Carla whimpered. The teal eyed monster faced his mother. A huff escaped
his lungs as he rolled his shoulders, the crack of his stiff joints joining in
the subtle growls he made.
Carla, barely mustering up the courage, was about to run. To grab a phone? To
run outside? To barricade herself in a room till he calmed down? If the police
searched the home they would find many things, many illegal things. She didn't
know what to do but getting out of the basement was the plan, but Eren seemed
to sense her plan. The boy grabbed her ankle just as she turned to run and
pulled. She went flying to the ground. Her face smacking against the smooth
concrete. A sob of pain made it's way out between the broken teeth and blood in
her mouth. "Eren, pleath." She begged, the blood and lack of teeth causing her
speech to be deformed. Eren only let out another roar. Carla held her ears
tightly, how could her baby boy of only thirteen years cause this much damage?
She questioned God himself as Eren stalked over her body. The blood from his
previous victim dripping from his fists and onto her clean white sweater. Carla
choked out more pleas of mercy before Eren flipped her. Her bleeding and dirty
front was now visible to Eren. Carla tried to scoot back, to escape but Eren
held her in place merely by placing a firm stomp on her stomach. The breath
Carla held in her lungs shot out. Leaving her weak and gasping for breath.
Eren rained fists down on her chest. Blood began to pour from her open mouth.
He didn't take the time to listen to the crunch of her ribs, the wet noises as
her lungs folded in on themselves, the sounds of his fist going deeper and
deeper into her chest cavity. Carla was long gone by the time Eren was done.
His forearm was painted in blood. His face splattered with the crimson and his
chest soaked. The boy hunched over his mother. The intoxicating scent of blood
hitting him full force. His mouth began to salivate, pupils dilate and tongue
dip out to like the bits of blood on his lips. The copper taste was orgasmic to
the boy. 'Oh please yes.' He thought, his battered hands darting out to grab
something more substantial. His tanned and bloodied fingers grabbed his
mother's arm. It was still attached to her shredded torso, but not for long.
Eren grasped the limb tightly, if she were still alive it would have left and
large bruise, and pulled. The pop of the socket coming loose only fueled his
need for the lovely taste of human flesh. With his other hand, he dug his nails
into the shoulder. The long thick nails pierced the sweater and tanned skin of
the woman. The blood flowing from the deep crescents was like chocolate flowing
from a fountain. Eren desperately wanted to taste it. He leaned down, his long
tongue exited his mouth and lapped up the liquid. His hands clenched tightly at
the taste. They tore the limb from the body, the blood pooling around him and
the corpse. Deep animalistic growls escaped his throat as he bit into the limb.
He promptly spit out the bits of sweater that had entered his mouth. He slid
the sleeve of the sweater off and began to devour the arm with vigor. His teeth
gnawed on the bone. Sucking on the bits of blood that remained. As Eren went
for another the twisting feeling in his stomach decided to tighten even
further. All of the flesh inside of his stomach came racing up. The large
chunks of flesh pushed their way out of his throat, mouth and onto the concrete
floor. The blood had mixed with the stomach acid and made a delightful stew of
blood, bile, and chunks of human flesh. Eren coughed, the stomach acid burned
his throat and left a disgusting taste in his mouth. The boy dry heaved till
his abdominal muscles hurt. The brunette crawled over to his father, digging
his hands into the pudgy abdomen. His hunger wasn't satisfied. The fact that he
had thrown up his previous 'meal' didn't detour him from shoveling the fatty
insides of his father into his mouth.
The basement door was thrown open. Officers rushed into the room, their boots
agitated the boy as he digested the remains of his family. Many of the officers
held their sleeves to their faces and averted their eyes. The others simply ran
out to vomit. "Boy, I'ma need ya to stand up." An officer ordered, his gun
pointed at the young teen. Eren snapped his head up. His blazing green eyes
locked with the officers. In that split second the gun went off. Lodging a
bullet in Eren's shoulder. The boy didn't even flinch. The crowd watched into
horror as the boy stuck his three of his own fingers into the hole to dig
around. After a moment of wet noises and huffs, a blood covered bullet was
recovered. "Get em'!" The officer ordered. Three male officers shot out, dog
piling on the boy. Their combined weight crushed his rib cage, making breathing
difficult for him.
Another officer cuffed the boy as the ME took a look at the bodies. Even with a
single glance anyone would be able to tell they were dead. "They're still warm,
only a minutes." She determined looking at the struggling boy. The ME pulled
out an anesthetic and injected it into the boys neck. "That should keep him
down for a while." The woman's voice dropped in and out as the drugs took
effect. Eren soon fell into a deep dreamless sleep, the first real rest he's
gotten in years.
~
Eren shot up screaming. The feeling of blood coating him like a second skin
made his skin crawl. The feeling of the shots entering his neck everyday sent
him into a fury. The way everyone looked at him like he was a monster including
his so called 'savior' Dr. Smith, made his insides burn for the need of blood.
But there was this one voice in the back of his head, begging him to stop.
Begging him to calm down and forgive them. Pleading for mercy. "L-Levi." Eren
sobbed, hot tears falling down his cheeks. His hands were detained to the metal
railings on his bed, for some reason he didn't feel the incoming fear. Or the
burn of rope scraping against his wrists. He felt faintly calm. The simple
mention of Levi soothed the raging beast. Levi was someone who needed to be
loved. He was someone who would appreciate Eren's efforts, not punish him for a
ninety on a test, or beat him when he messed up a note, or inject him with some
strange substance that made his blood turn to fire. Levi was someone that Eren
could love and be loved back. Now if only he could see the boy that damned his
demons back to where they came from.
Chapter End Notes
     I'm sorry if this chapter is not as well done as the others. As much
     as I want to put out quality chapters, some stuff needs to be
     completed to in order to get to certain plots points. I hope you all
     enjoyed the chapter. And thank you for the comments and kudos, they
     keep me going ❤
***** Chapter 11 *****
Chapter Summary
     Hanji is pissed at Petra, Armin and Levi have a little talk and Levi
     falls into another pit of disrepair.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"Why don't you want to see Eren anymore? You know he would never hurt you. He's
just having a bad time. What did Petra tell you?" Hanji kneeled next to the
boy, brushing a few strands of hair away. "She, uh, didn't tell me anything."
Levi stared down at the ground like it was the most interesting thing in the
world. "Pumpkin, don't lie to me. What did she tell you?" Hanji narrowed her
eyes, an aggressive tone added to the last sentence. Levi flinched at the tone,
his hands gripping the white sheets below him. "S-She just told me about Eren.
How he attacked her and almost k-killed her." Levi stuttered, tears forming on
his waterline. Hanji nearly growled. "Come here baby. Eren didn't attack her.
He was merely protecting himself. Having a bad flash back." Hanji said rocking
the boy to her heart beat.
"Mike had gone down to check on Eren. Mike had said a few words that triggered
Eren to throw a little fit. No one was harm besides Eren. Petra wasn't even in
the room when he was a threat." Hanji lied. She knew what had gone on exactly
down there, she knew Petra was in there while Eren was still in rage. But she
knew Petra was never truly in danger. Erwin would never let any of his
employees be in grave danger if they couldn't handle it. "Then why did she
lie?" Levi asked softly, the constant rocking, thumping of Hanji heart and
calming back rubs were making him sleepy. "I don't know baby, but tomorrow
you'll be able to see Eren. In the mean time, get some rest. You'll continue
the day like normal till I come and get you." Hanji stated laying the boy down.
Levi, almost asleep, merely nodded. "Sweet dreams pumpkin." She whispered
pulling the covers up to keep the boy warm. She placed a single, light kiss to
Levi's forehead before leaving the room.
As the door closed and locked, Hanji turned around to see Petra staring
longingly at the door. "You're over twenty, it's illegal." Hanji snapped. Petra
jumped then glared at the woman. "At least I know how to do my job." The
strawberry blonde snapped. Hanji glared back before walking down the hall. Her
footsteps were acceptably load, as she tried to contain her anger. Petra was
feeding Levi lies, the reason? Hanji doesn't know, but she'll be damned that
Petra will ruin it.
~
The next day Levi managed to get himself ready without Hanji. Although his
hands shook with nerves, although his stomach twisted in knots, although his
mind raced with the different possibilities of Eren hurting him, he managed to
bathe, get dressed and find his way to the main room. Most of the others were
gathered in the main room. Armin, Annie and Bertolt were in the reading
section. Reiner and Mikasa were sitting together in the cornucopia of sofas.
Sasha and Connie were the only ones in the cafeteria begging for food. Lastly,
Historia and Ymir were in the art section, Levi could see what they were doing.
Over all, it was silent.
Levi, with his head down and the blanket he still held onto from the other day,
shuffled over to the sofas. He didn't enjoy reading or any art activity, and he
would never beg again, even to save his own life, so sitting in silence was the
next best option. As the raven sat down he felt a pair of eyes burning with
jealousy and masked rage followed his every move. The teen turned his head to
see no one looking at him. With a nervous gulp, Levi curled into himself and
drifted into his thoughts; mostly filled with Eren.
The sudden weight next to him drew Levi out of his thoughts. "Hello, I'm Armin
Arlert. You're Levi correct?" The small blonde with blue eyes spoke with poise
and a hint of hesitation. "Yeah." Levi mumbled, although he felt safe being
near the blonde, he still felt the burning glare on him. "How old are you?"
Armin asked, his mushroom cloud of blonde hair shifting with every movement he
made. "Sixteen, why are you talking to me?" Levi asked, making weak eye
contact. The blonde gave a small chuckle. "I know what it's like to have your
only friend taken away from you. When I first came here Eren had gone into a
rage. He was my only friend at the time. He was separated from us for two
months. During those long weeks I was lonely. The others seemed to have their
one cliques. So for those long weeks I kept myself away from the others. I
became so isolated that I wouldn't even talk to my therapist. I don't want that
to happen to you." Armin ended his little speech with a kind smile. Like the
one Eren gave him.
"Oh, that's fine." Levi felt his insides twist as the thought of meeting with
Eren came to mind. Would he be the monster Petra had portrayed him as? Or would
he still be the perfect prince he was before. Who was he kidding, he would
still be hateful. Eren would hate Levi. He had disappointed him somehow, and
Eren was going to hate him for it. "Are you okay? You're crying." Armin had
leaned slightly closer and wore an expression of concern. Levi instinctively
leaned back and began to wipe away any evidence of tears. "I'm fine, just
thinking about stuff." Levi mumbled in response. "Oh I know about that." Armin
chuckled as he looked out the windows, only a slim sliver of the blue sky was
visible to them. Levi felt his heart stop, was this blonde mushroom so close
with Eren that even without leaving Levi's side he was able to talk about how
much he hated or was disgusted with Levi to him? "Being alone with your
thoughts can be scary." Armin continued. Levi let out a breath he didn't even
know he was holding.
"Back when I first came to Sina Mental Institution, the others weren't that
social. So I was left alone a lot. To combat this I either read or just went
through my own memories. Of course, the only things I could remember were the
days my mother beat me, or the day my grandfather died." Armin began to tear
up, his pearly white teeth showing in the form of a grin. Levi felt his throat
dry out and blood run cold. "As the days went on I went deeper into my own
consciousness. I began to beat myself up. Using my fears to create nightmares
that flashed before my eyes every day. Mr. Smith said it was a way of
punishment. That I was punishing myself for not being able to fight against my
mother. Only a few months ago did I finally stop the visions, with Eren's help
of course. He's like a big brother to me, always there to help while holding in
his own problems." Armin hugged his legs to his chest, the fond look in his
eyes made Levi long for his own sister.
"Thanks." Levi mumbled, a light blush coating his normally pale cheeks. "Huh?"
Armin perked up. "For sharing that with me, it makes me feel like I'm part of
the group." Levi bashfully said. "It's no problem. Anyways, I hope Eren comes
back soon. It gets too quiet without his constant talking or piano playing."
Armin said standing up. Levi merely nodded as the blonde wished him another
good luck before walking back over to the reading section.
Levi played with his fingers under the blanket. The warm feeling of being
included in something for the first time in his life settled in his stomach. A
light blush danced across his cheeks, a faint smile forming on his lips. "Eren
is gone because of you." A voice growled from his left. Levi jumped at the
sudden noise. When he turned, dark eyes were staring back at him, a red scarf
hiding the bottom half of their face. "You're the reason he's mad. You
shouldn't have come here. You're only a problem." Levi felt his stomach drop,
Eren would never help, much less like him again. He was a failure and should
thrown aside.
Chapter End Notes
     I apologize for any spelling, grammar or story mistakes; as I do not
     have a beta. I'm also looking for future fic ideas, if you have any
     be sure to comment below or message me through my tumblr. Anyway,
     thank you for the comments, kudos and subscribes/bookmarks, they keep
     me motivated to update. Have a wonderful day/night ❤
***** Chapter 12 *****
Chapter Summary
     The long awaited reunited pair of mess ups.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"Eren, are you okay? Are you thirsty, hungry, sore?" Hanji spoke softly to the
boy, carefully choosing her words. "Yeah, just fine. My arms hurt like hell
though." Eren mumbled sitting up, Hanji smiled wide as the boy's face came into
view. "Do you remember anything?" Hanji scooted her stool closer to Eren, her
hands twitching to write down notes. "No, but let me guess what happened.
Someone said something, I took it personally when I shouldn't have and I nearly
killed them? Was right?" Eren gave a dry chuckle as the years of being locked
up, tested, prodded and questioned washed over him. He can't even remember the
last time he felt the real sun on his skin, not filtered through double panned
glass that didn't even reach the bottom of the cage he lived, no survived in.
"Oh pumpkin. Don't worry, you weren't really at fault for this one. Jean-
" "Fucking horse face. Of course." Eren mumbled, cutting Hanji off. "Oi,
cutting a lady off is fucking rude. Don't do it again baby cakes." Hanji
snapped her fingers and made an exaggerated facial expression. Eren broke into
a smile, his once somber mood faded. "Sorry, Madam Hanji." Eren replied, his
smile breaking into his speech. "It's okay kid. Anyway, the reason you snapped
was Jean was being a dick, threatened Levi and you reacted. That's all." Hanji
ended with a shrug, leaving out the second snap. "Who did I attack next?" Eren
questioned, the missing chunks of skin dotting along his arms, the stinging
strips of scratched skin, and disgusted weight in his stomach told him another
story from Hanji's.
Hanji perked up at the question. "No one, only Jean. Why do you think you
attack him?" She stood up, her shoes clacking against the tiled floor as she
crept closer to the restrained boy. "Because I attacked myself too. Look at me
Hanji! I ate myself!" Eren raised his voice and stuck out his limbs. The
indents in his arms and legs caught the doctor's attention immediately. A wince
showing on her face. "Pumpkin, don't worry. You didn't harm anyone." Hanji
wrapped her arms gently around the boy. Her twitching hands settled on
different parts of his arms, the indents were nauseating, even without looking
at them. Only feeling them through the gauze. Could they make someone sick. "I
did, I harmed myself. I'm not even human anymore, I'm a monster." Eren
whimpered. His facade falling.
Hanji stood frozen. Not in her near six years of working with this broken soul
has he ever fallen so far as to cry on her shoulder. She had never even seen or
heard him cry before. But as the sobs raked through the boy, pulling out every
ounce of strength he thought he had, her thoughts on the boy changed. He was
once a patient with a broken past, one that could simply be put back together
with enough therapy and help. But now, he's a boy with emotions she could never
understand. A boy that could have simply decided to end it all at many points
in his life, but decided to keep living for some reason. Hanji could barely
stomach the fact that the boy sobbing his heart out on her should was capable
of anything dangerous or harmful to others. Sure he had a temper, but he was
the most accepting of all the patients she's had before. It didn't matter what
you had done or been through, Eren Yeager would treat you like the only star in
the sky. But even with his perfect personality, the universe decided that he
had to be punished. For what reason? She wouldn't know, she couldn't know. But
for now, the only thing she could do was pat him on the back as the years of
physical, mental and emotional torture finally broke Eren.
~
Hanji walked through the halls, her glasses hiding the redness around her amber
brown eyes. The session she held with Eren had lasted longer than expected, and
was much more emotionally draining than any other session she has had before.
The way he spoke, completely devoid of hope and any sense of a positive emotion
chilled her to the bone. It made the situations he's been in seem like they had
attacked her as well. She tightened the grip on the papers in hand, her
knuckles turned white and her canines pierced her lip. She quickly, and with a
little too much force, opened Levi's door. Petra was once more inside the room.
"You out. Don't bother entering the male hall again. You've been strictly moved
to the female hall. Do I make myself clear." Hanji spoke so calmly, so clearly,
that even Levi felt the sheer storm of emotions Hanji was feeling. "I'm sorry,
but under whose authority?" Petra questioned standing up, a fake smile once
more placed on her young face. "Me, get out before I call Erwin." Hanji pointed
to the hall, her face and tone giving no room for argument. Petra gave a huff
before walking out of the room, her hips swaying as she stepped. Hanji rolled
her eyes at the display of 'seduction'.
"Hey pumpkin." Hanji perked up. Her tone light and expression giving off the
vibe of content. "Hi Hanji." Levi smiled softly, his voice meek. "Are you
reading to see Eren?" She asked sitting on the side of the mattress next to
Levi. "I think so.....do you think he'll hate me?" Levi asked, his voice
dripping with anxiety and hopelessness. "Have you seen the way he looked at
you? He couldn't possibly hate you." Hanji chuckled helping the boy up. His
white pajama like uniform was wrinkled and what appeared to be dotted with tear
drops. Hanji sighed before pulling the raven into a hug. "If you're scared you
don't have to." Hanji said burying her face in Levi's hair. Levi simply wrapped
his arms around the woman's torso and buried his face into her yellow button
up. "I want to help and see him, but I feel like it's my felt he's there. If
only I hadn't come here." "Sugar cakes, don't you think like that. You need
Eren as much as he needs you. Now let's go before there's curfew." Hanji said
as she began walking. Levi immediately grabbed her hand and began walking next
to her.
~
The two arrived in the second basement fairly quickly. Levi's soft foot steps
accompanied by Hanji's loud ones stirred Eren out of his thoughts. His head
picked up and he spotted the one person he was thinking most about. "Levi." He
spoke breathlessly. A smile breaking out on his face for the first time in
three days. Levi tightened his grip on Hanji's hand as a faint smile formed on
his lips and a blush danced across his cheeks. "Uh, hi Eren." Levi mumbled,
looking down. His meek personality taking hold. He was about to open his mouth
again when he was suddenly encased in warmth and the scent of the woods. Eren
had hugged. Eren had personally, and without being told or ordered, hugged him.
Levi felt the anxiety, fear and every negative emotion in him fade as he melted
into the embrace. "I missed you." Eren admitted, his voice soft and low. Levi
felt his cheeks warm at the confession. "...Me too." Levi mumbled, his voice
muffled by Eren's clothing. "It kinda hurts to stand so lets sit down, hmm?"
Eren chuckled, pulling away slightly. Levi immediately missed the warmth but
obliged to the offer.
The pair sat on the mattress, one sat criss-cross the other with his knees to
his chest. "So." Eren awkwardly began. He had no idea what to say, he was never
a good conversationalist. He could put on a facade and fake it, but he didn't
want to trick Levi. He wanted Levi to know and love the real him. The dorky,
awkward, dweeb that he is. "Oh baby cakes." Hanji said suddenly, she hopped
over to the raven and whispered something in his ear. Whatever it was, it made
Levi widen his eyes and almost say no. "Do you understand?" Hanji questioned
loud enough for Eren to hear. "Yeah." Levi nodded, his voice shaky but his
movements firm. "Good, I'll be back in a few." Hanji smiled and blew them each
a kiss before leaving. Of course Erwin would never truly leave them alone
together. Cameras were watching their every move, security was waiting just
around the bend for if Eren snapped and the IV in his arm was ready to inject
sedatives if needed.
"Hi?" Levi mumbled, a blush forming on his pale cheeks. "What did Hanji tell
you?" Eren inquired, a curious look in his eyes. Levi stilled, what would Eren
think if he told him that Hanji and Erwin planned to use him to get information
out of him. "Just, uh....that dinner will be served in a little while." Levi
lied. "Tell me the truth." Eren frowned at the lie. "How did you know I was
lying?" Levi immediately said, his head perking up and a fearful expression
mixing with the surprise. "The tips of your ears turn red when you're
embarrassed or lying." Eren chuckled, trying to hide a smile behind his hand.
Levi felt his face, and the tips of his ears, warm as he ducked his head.
"Sorry." He whispered, his face flushed. "It's okay, just don't make it a
habit. I don't like it when people lie." It was now Eren's turn to curled into
himself. The haunting memories of his father lying to him. Of his mother
promising that she would get him out. Of the whispers from those damned voices.
Levi placed a gentle hand on Eren's arm. His hand sinking into the indent. The
raven jerked back. A look of horror on his pale face. "W-What happened?" Levi
stuttered, with straining himself from crawling backwards. "Oh, yeah. I, uh,
had a little incident. I guess I should kinda explain I guess?" Eren offered a
weak smile to break the tension lightly. The chill of the basement gave the
smaller of the pair a sense of fear of the oncoming story. Levi, although
shakily, crawled back over to Eren. The raven positioning himself so his back
was placed against the hard chest of Eren. He almost missed the wince the
brunette made as he leaned further back. "Don't worry about me." Eren mumbled,
adjusting their position so he could lean against the wall and Levi against
him. "I guess it kinda started when I was five?" Eren began.
Chapter End Notes
     I'm sorry for the late update, this chapter just wasn't flowing quite
     right I guess. So I spent a little more time revising it more than I
     usually do. I hope you find it okay, the next chapter will be filled
     with Ereri fluff. To make up for the late update, chapter 13 will
     most likely be up later tonight or very early in the morning. I
     apologize once more for taking so long and hope you all have a
     wonderful day/night ❤
***** Chapter 13 *****
Chapter Summary
     Eren and Levi talk, some fluff, mention of molestation and overall
     what happened in the basement.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"You could say I had normal childhood at first. Sure my dad didn't pay that
much attention to me at the time but that got.....better over the years. Ms.
Hanji probably told you about my parents already, how they practically trained
me to be the best son I could be. So I won't go over that." Eren said, his
voice strong as the arms wrapped around Levi. The raven gently nodded, his
hands running over the older boy's arms. "Around the age of twelve my black
outs had gotten stronger, more violent. Like the one you saw. I had attacked my
mother and nearly tore her arm off. It makes me chuckle now because back then I
was praised every day by the neighbors, teachers, even random strangers around
the town for being calm and collected. But that one day I had snapped and
almost killed my mother." Eren's tone had fluctuated as he spoke. He had ended
with a level of humor.
"That very day, I was pulled from school, all sports activities, hell, even my
god damned knitting class. I was locked in the basement, strapped to a bed by
my limbs and chest. It's still so vivid in my head." Eren clutched the area
around his right eye. A look of pure disgust and hopelessness on his face as he
recalled the memories. "It's okay, he can't hurt you anymore." Eren whispered.
His breathing labored. Levi turned around to face the teen. His shaking pale
hands reached out, settling on the teens cheeks. Eren stilled, his eyes widened
to an almost comical size. "Shh, it's okay. I'm here." Levi spoke in a low
tone. The years of comforting Isabel had sharpened his ability to calm others.
His cold hands were a stark contrast to the heated tanned cheeks. Eren closed
his eyes, welcoming the new temperature. He slowed his breathing and gave a
faint smile. "Thank you." He mumbled. "No problem." Levi got back into
position, but this time he held both of Eren's hands. He intertwined their
fingers, relishing in the feeling of being with Eren again.
"E-Every night, while being held against the wooden bed; my monster of a father
would inject something into my neck. Back then it was a sensitive spot for me,
flipping out when something touched me, it still is just not as much. Before
then I had gotten injections from my father pretty regularly. 'He was a doctor,
he knows what he's doing' was all anyone ever said when I mentioned it. I
eventually learned to drop it, the consequences of dealing with an enraged
father and no answers was worse than just not having any answers. But they
became much more common when I locked in the basement. Every night, at eight,
it was routine. He would come walking it, a grin on his face and syringe in his
hands. Whatever he injected me with, it was painful. It was worse than pain.
Like he had switched out my blood with molten iron. It felt like my bones were
breaking in every spot they could, like my muscles were on the verge of
melting, like my whole body had gone through a meat grinder. It was hell." Eren
spoke slowly. Pausing every few sentences for a deep breath. Levi felt the grip
of Eren's hands tighten. He squeezed them back and felt them relax.
"The nights were the worst. He would sneak it, just as I was falling asleep,
and.......and, how do I put this." Levi knew what was coming. "He would 'play'
with me you could say. He would whisper things in my ear as I tried to escape.
Telling me how I was 'such a good boy' how perfect I was. I was sickening.
Before I wished that my parents would change, that they wouldn't force me to
get perfect scores on tests, practice the flute till I couldn't hold my arms
up, push me to the brink of passing out every soccer practice. But the change
that they had gone through was hell. It was pure, unaltered hell. I began
dreading the nights, not sleeping for weeks on end. The hallucinations that
followed were as haunting as him. The cackles, whispers and screams that
invaded my head were annoying. Sure they made headaches worse but they kept me
awake. They kept me on my guard. But the pictures. The pictures." Eren's voice
broke. Sobs weaving their way into his voice as he spoke. Levi wrapped Eren's
arms around him tightly. Wanting to be comforted but also to calm the other.
"They were always of him. Always him doing something to me or my mom. But as
time went on, I began to enjoy the visions of my mother being torn apart. Of my
own mother being thrown against walls, being dismembered, being swallowed into
another pit of what I could only describe as insanity. Don't get me wrong, I
loved my mother at that time. But as time passed on, I forgot what it was like
to care. To have any emotion other than rage, fear and exhaustion. Now,
whenever I think of her, I think of the times she spent smacking my hands
whenever I made a mistake, or when she watched in a strange trance as my father
used me like a doll for his liking, and it just makes me so angry. She could
have stopped him, she could have saved me from the horrors of that basement.
But she didn't. She sat idly by as my own father, took my own worth." Eren was
squeezing Levi to the point of pain, but Levi made no action to move or loosen
the grip. He was frozen. The thought of anyone going through what he had gone
through was enough to make him nauseous, but the thought of Eren, the one who
welcomed him with open arms, the one who held him till he felt at peace, going
through that. Levi's mind was a mixture of one part rage and two parts tragedy.
"I'm sorry you had to go through that." The raven whispered. Unshed tears
formed on his water line.
"It's not your fault." Eren mumbled, his already weak voice muffled by Levi's
white shirt. The two sat in a comfortable silence till Levi felt the moist hot
tears soak through his shirt and dampen the pale skin beneath. "Every so often
I would blank out and find myself covered in blood and missing so pieces of
myself. Mentally or physically? It was probably both. That's what happened
earlier. I bit myself where I could and scratched where I couldn't. The pain
makes me feel human. Like I'm not some mess up that my parents tried so hard to
fix. The others in the hospital think I'm too messed up for help. So I put on a
facade. The staff began to treat me less like a broken piece of glass and more
human. Like the more broken you are the less they think you can understand
human emotion. I'm sorry for unloading this all on you." Eren said, his hot
breath fanning over Levi's exposed neck.
"It's okay....Hey Eren?" Levi swallowed the nervous lump in his throat as he
waited for Eren to respond. "Yeah?" "What happened the night you were recovered
from your house?" Levi felt guilty for asking, but Hanji and Erwin needed to
know, not to mention the black hole of curiosity in his stomach that thirsted
for knowledge about the brunette. "Oh that night." Eren let out a dry huff.
"Well, Grisha decided to get his dick wet. And there I was, strapped to a bed
with no advantage or weapon to protect myself, not to mention that I was still
half unconscious from the previous round of being beaten, drugged and tested
on." Levi knew where this was going, anyone could. This had happened before,
but for some reason this time I had snapped. Breaking loose from the binds, I
attacked him. My mother came down to see what the racket was. I killed her
too." Eren paused, his thoughts were swirling with weather or not he should
tell the rest. "From what I've been told, I began to eat their dead bodies. I
was taken in by the cops before I was admitted here." Eren finished, hiding his
face from the oncoming disgust Levi was more than likely to aim at him. Levi
removed himself from Eren's hold. The brunette knew it, the raven would think
he was a monster. Disgusting for even wanting to be friends with him. God
forbid if he were to find out Eren's feelings for the raven.
Instead of harsh words or screams, small arms wrapped around his shaking form.
"I don't hate you. I don't think any less of you." Levi reassured him. Eren
hesitantly looked up. His oceanic turquoise eyes were surrounded by red. His
once so put together facade falling. "You're still the person that welcomed me
in the beginning. And a little fact like that doesn't change my feelings
towards you." Levi continued. Eren broke out into a small smile. "Thank you
Levi." Eren pulled the boy closer. Levi gave a faint smile at the gesture
before hugging back. Now all he had to tell Eren was his own story.
~
"We never even thought about sexual abuse." Erwin mumbled. His hand quickly
copying down notes in Eren's file. "I told you we could get somewhere with the
help of Levi. Although I didn't imagine Eren to be this, this broken. "I know,
I can't imagine how we're going to help him." Erwin groaned, rubbed the lack of
sleep from his eyes. "They really are meant to be." Hanji mumbled, a look of
joy in her eyes as she reached out with her shaky hands. They wrapped around
her mug of coffee, the warmth was a strong contrast to the bitter cold air that
Erwin needed his office to be filled with. "Good job Hanji." Erwin sighed, the
subtle tone in her voice urging him to say so. "Thank you boo." Her head
nodding in acknowledgement. "Yeah, yeah. You should get back to your office. I
know your reports haven't been completely filled out." Erwin smirked as Hanji
jumped. "I, uh, have to go. I have something to do!" Hanji shouted as she ran
out of the office. "That woman." Erwin smiled softly at her antics before
looking back down at the screen. The pair of boys seemed to have fallen asleep.
"Yeah, they really are."
Chapter End Notes
     Thank you for the comments, they make my day. I hope this chapter is
     up to your standards and all that jazz. I apologize for any grammar,
     spelling or sentence structure problems, I try my best. Have a
     wonderful day/night ❤
***** Chapter 14 *****
Chapter Summary
     Petra you piece of shit.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Eren held the raven close as the two drifted to sleep. The warmth he lost
during the past few hours returning through Levi. Levi only snuggled into the
strong husky scent of woods and flowers. It gave him a sense of protection.
Like nothing could ever hurt him again. With these thoughts the annoying
feeling of his feet being cold, or the lumps in Eren's once flawless skin, or
the sound of light foot steps in the hall could pull him away from the gem eyed
brat. But the harsh pull on his arm physically could. "Hey!" He yelped, the
pull on his should sending a short wave of pain through him. "Levi, what are
you doing?" Petra's frantic voice demanded. Her once sweet and innocent persona
switched with one of anger and annoyance. "I, uh." Levi didn't know the answer
she was looking for. He didn't want to upset the nurse but he was already
missing the warmth and protection from Eren.
The shift of fabric caught the pairs attention. Gunmetal and amber orbs darted
over to the figure on the bed. "Levi?" Eren's soft and worrying voice spoke
into the dim room. The hint of disconnection and lost made Levi's heart melt,
but the grip on his arm caused him to wince. "He's not safe to be around. Levi
I thought you would listen to me! Hanji doesn't care for you like I do. Come
on, I love you. Can't you see this?" Petra desperate voice begged. "Ms. Petra,
why are you keeping Levi from me?" Eren's voice had picked up a tone of anger,
jealousy and possession. "See? If this is how he would be every time someone
touched, imagine what he would do if you opposed him. He would hurt you like
Kenny." Petra seethed. Levi's eyes darted back and forth. His pupils enlarged
to take in more light, the expressions of the two were bright to him. Petra
looked completely serious while Eren held and expression of betrayal and
desperation. But the looming thought that Eren could hurt him like Kenny made
his thoughts race with the memories.
"Who is Kenny? Levi please. Why is Ms. Petra here?" Eren questioned. "Kenny is
the man who sent Levi here. He broke such a perfect boy. And you're just like
him, you monster. Killing people like they have no value. Levi why do you trust
this monster?" Petra tugged on his arm with a little more force than needed.
"B-but, he had a reason." Levi whimpered. tears springing to his eyes. Why
would Petra dislike Eren this much. Eren had told him everything. He told him
about the abuse, he told him about the murder. Eren told him his life story in
hopes Levi would still love him. "I-I'm sorry Ms. Petra b-but I like Eren."
Levi whispered, hot moist tears falling down his face. "......I see." Petra
responded after a few seconds. The rejection hitting her hard. "But I still
have to get you away from this monster. He'll hurt you the first moment he
can." Petra tightened her hold, his wrist would surely be bruises in a few
hours. "No. He can stay with me." Eren spoke up. His voice just short of a
growl. He just got Levi back, this pathetic excuse for a woman wouldn't take
him away now.
"That's not up to you." Petra seethed, her face pulled into a tight expression
of disdain. "But I don't want to leave him." Levi inputted, hesitant to fight
back, fearing the worst. "You're mentally incapable of making your own
decisions. I will act as your guardian and force you if I have to!" The volume
of Petra's voice had risen quite high. Her manicured nails digging into Levi's
pale wrist. "Let go of Levi." Eren ordered. His tanned hands twitched. "Or
what? You'll kill me like you did your parents! I don't care. Levi doesn't
deserve to be around such a fuck up like you!" Petra's eyes were inhumanly wide
with the look of pure disgust, possession, and insanity. "Petra!" Hanji's
enraged voice shouted from the door way.
"Step away from the patients and on your knees!" Sina police guards ordered,
their weapons out and ready to paralyze the woman. "No, I won't let you ruin
this perfect boy." Petra caressed Levi's cheek with one hand. "Eren relax,
she's not going to hurt him. Not on my watch." Hanji ordered, her voice strong
and unshaken, completely contrary to her appearance. Her skin was dotted with
sweat, similar to Petra. The two woman had hair plastered to their foreheads
along with their breaths heavy, fast and labored. Eren grabbed his right hand,
physically having to hold it back from attacking Petra. His hand tightened into
a firm fist. His nails digging into his palm.
"Petra, let go of Levi and get on your fucking knees." Hanji growled, her
fingers shaking, wanting to fire the taser. "Like you did to get this job
'Hanji'?" Petra smirked, the bead of sweat rolling from her upper lip down her
chin. "Petra we both know you blew the head of directors to even get into
nursing school. I, however, got into med school on a full ride scholar ship.
Now before I have to repeat myself, get on your damned knees bitch." Hanji
smirked. Petra rolled her eyes and spit on the ground. "Don't think I'm afraid
of you. You don't have the fucking balls to fire-" She cut herself off with an
ear piercing screech of pain. The electrical volts coursing their way through
her body convulsed her body. Her grip loosened immediately, Levi retracted his
hand and fell into Eren's embrace as Petra collapsed to the floor on her knees.
"Bitch, don't test me." Hanji grinned. "Cuff her, I'll get a restraining order
for Levi and have her arrested for something." Hanji ordered, the men behind
her marched forward. They all easily held the woman up as they carried her out
of the cell.
Hanji released a large breath before approaching the shaking raven. "Hey
pumpkin, are you okay?" Her shaking hand rubbing his back. Eren swallowed back
the need to snap at her. She wasn't after him, she wouldn't hurt Levi. "Yeah,
it's was just unnerving....I guess." Levi mumbled, his voice muffled by Eren's
shirt. "It's okay baby. She won't be back to hurt you. Let's take a look at
your wrist, huh?" Hanji smiled sweetly as she carefully held the bruised wrist.
A painting of purple, yellow, blues and greens covered his forearm. "How bad
does it hurt?" Hanji asked, her slender fingers tracing over the wound. "It,
Jesus, doesn't hurt much." Levi lied through his gritted teeth.
"Don't lie to me pumpkin." Hanji scolded tapping the boy on the nose. Levi's
eyes instinctively went cross to follow the slender finger. The two brunette
let out small chuckles at the raven's cute expression. "Let's get you patched
up then we'll get you two some breakfast." Hanji smiled, her hands easily
finding their way to her pouch blind. Levi simply nodded. His chest fluttered
as Eren nodded against his shoulder and tightened his arms. Levi once more felt
at peace. Like a barrier was keeping the world's evil out. But that can't keep
evil from forming from within. As Hanji stood her body fell to the side and
before anyone could act, her head hit the concrete floor with a resounding
thud.
Chapter End Notes
     I'm so sorry for you all having to wait three days for this chapters.
     I don't know why or how, but the days just passed by way quicker than
     they should have. Anyway here's the chapter I spent way too much time
     on. I hope you all liked it ❤
***** Chapter 15 *****
Chapter Summary
     It's short, it's shit, I know. Hanji's situation is slightly
     explained, Erwin takes over for Hanji and I don't know, I'm sorry.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"Dr. Erwin, we're not sure what caused the sudden fall but-" "I don't care
about what caused it right now, just is she fucking okay?" Erwin demanded, his
face red with frustration and fist clenched in some weak effort of calming his
anger. "Dr. Hanji's skull is broken in two places, completely shattered in
another, severe bleeding in the brain, some piece of skull are embedded in the
grey matter and she'll likely experience some brain damage. Only time will
tell." The neurologist spoke grimly. Erwin let out a large breath, his hand
instinctively rubbing his temples. "Okay, but what caused it? Why did she
fall?" Erwin's voice teetered on desperation. "We're not sure but we suspect an
Essential Tremor. It causes slow loss of control to basic muscle movements,
shaking and decreased balance. It's not life threatening but as you saw, it can
lead to bad situations." Erwin covered his face with his hands. The threat of
losing Hanji gripped his heart with an unrelenting force. "But please tell me
that she can continue working." Erwin questioned after few seconds to regain
his composure. "Only time will tell. But from what I can tell, a sudden
increase in stress caused the tremor to worsen. She should take a few weeks off
from anything that could possibly cause stress." The neurologist answered
before walking away. Erwin stood still. Emotional stress? Was Eren the cause of
it? Levi? Or possibly him? Oh who was he kidding. Of course it was him. He was
the one who'd had been yelling at her, the one who had begun to drift away from
her, the one who gave Hanji extra work because that smile always said 'Leave it
to me'. Erwin felt the possibility of losing Hanji weighed on him. "Hanji,
please."
~
"Because of a recent development, Dr. Zoe will be not be leading any group
sessions or attending any one-on-one therapy sessions. I apologize for the
change of plans but I will be taking over her patients for the time being.
Thank you for your time, you may all continue with your day." Erwin spoke loud
and clear. A facade covering his weak emotional state. The group of patients
simply nodded, a few gave confused and or questioning glances at the man. They
all knew he was the head doctor, but he had never interacted with them much.
Armin quietly crept up to the man, his hands intertwined and fingers fidgeting.
"Excuse me, uh, sir?" His shaky voice spoke just loud enough for the older man
to hear. "Yes?" Erwin replied, his brows came together to form a crease. "My
first therapy session is now." Erwin nodded as he placed a gentle palm on
Armin's shoulder. The blonde doctor took note of the small flinch.
The two made their way to one of the many therapy rooms. They were small, clean
and color neutral. Each room was assigned to a certain patient, each customized
to some degree. Inside of Armin's room the walls and floor were plain but rows
of books lined the many bookshelves. Armin took great pride in his happy room,
as Hanji called it. "So tell me how Hanji normally goes about this?" Erwin
questioned as he found his way to his desk. "Why? Did Hanji not leave you any
notes?" Armin's demeanor changed. Instead of shuffling around, he swung his
hips as he walked. His eyes were no longer teary, the sharp colors of gem blue
and ocean blue stood out against his pale, porcelain skin. His stride gave off
a sense of confidence and control, Erwin did not understand the sudden change.
He slowly, almost too slowly Armin noted, flipped through the file on his desk.
'Be careful of the mind games he likes to play!' Erwin read, Hanji had
scribbled on the edge of the paper. "You know Dr. Smith, I've never seen you
interact with the patients. So why now~?" Armin's small dainty hands slid down
Erwin's chest as hot breath fanned over his jaw and neck. Erwin froze. Sure
he'd been sexually harassed before, but they were never so upfront about.
"Armin-" "Oh, we're on first name bias?" Armin smirked, his nimble fingers
dancing across his chest. "Mr. Arlert, sit down so we may continue with the
session." Erwin's voice was strong, demanding and almost enough to make Armin
want to stop.
You see, Armin loved watching others flip. Watching how his fast personality
flips could give them whiplash. And Dr. Smith was no exception. The way his ice
blue eyes told a long story, the thick built muscles under that doctor's coat
made him fantasize about the endless possibilities, and the way the man never
gave away his emotions made him want to uncoil the ever forming facade. "And
what if I don't?" Erwin remained silent. Was this what Hanji had to put up with
everyday? The mind games were tough, but what about the underlying problem.
What would that be? Erwin stopped for a moment. "If you stop with the games,
I'll get you more books." The sudden offer of books snapped Armin from his
game. "Books?" The teenage blonde looked like a child on Christmas day. With a
wide smile the boy found his way over to the sofa. Armin sat down criss-cross,
the wide grin on his face as he thought of the possible stories. Erwin had to
stop for a moment. How fast could this boy change personalities?
"I'm going to need you to tell the truth and nothing but the truth. Can you do
that for me Armin?" Erwin glanced up at the boy. His smiled had faded, his
expression merely blank and holding a hint of remembrance. "Yeah, I can do that
sir." Armin's voice was tired. Like what he was remembering sucked the previous
energy from him. "Armin, do you like telling stories?" Erwin had set the clip
board down and looked the boy in the eyes. The teen's cheeks flared up. "I, Uh,
I guess. I mean, they're nice to share with people." Armin was never one for
talking with others despite wanting to share everything he's ever read with
someone. Eren was easy to talk to, they even shared the same obsession with the
ocean. But he couldn't speak with the brunette, and hasn't for a while. "Then
why don't you tell me a story. I want to tell me about your past but put
someone else in your place. Can you do that for me Armin?" Erwin took in the
boy's body language. The hunched over shoulders said he was shy and
embarrassed, the fiddling of the hands was another sign of anxiety, and his
mumblings put together the picture of Armin being unsure of telling his story.
"I....I think so." Armin looked up, his face holding nothing but determination.
A trait he had picked up from Eren. "Begin."
Chapter End Notes
     I'm so sorry for the long wait. Writer's block is a bitch. But I will
     have chapter 17 out by tomorrow the latest. But to make up for the
     long wait I'm also posting chapter 16. Sorry again, I know I'm a
     terrible person for making you all wait ❤
***** Chapter 16 *****
Chapter Summary
     Armin tells a sweet tale.
     Marcus is Armin, just read the thing and it should be easy enough to
     understand.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"Begin."
~
There once was a little boy by the name of Marcus Greybeard. He was a curious
boy. Always wanting to know the answer to everything. Even some things that
society would consider too 'grown up' for a child his age. But that never
stopped him from wanting to find out. Marcus grew up in a heavily Christian
village in Russia. Those who spoke out against the Christian faith were shunned
either out of the village, or to death. Everyone prayed everyday, went to
church every Sunday, and never said the lords name in vain. If you broke the
code, you were shunned. It that simple. Women were not allowed to speak up or
do anything for themselves. Men could do whatever they wanted as long as there
was a verse in the bible letting them.
The Greybeard family was no different. The mother stayed home to cook, clean
and raise the children while the father went out to work. They also took care
of Marcus's grandfather. The man was in great health, could get around as easy
as anyone else, but he did have the tendency to be 'too' kind. He would give
anyone the clothes off his back, and that made him weak. Marcus and the
grandfather got along great. They would spend hours talking or just sitting
together in silence as they read. It was mainly the bible but the grandfather
always had extra books to read. But had to hide them. The village hated
information that could possibly cause someone to lack or test their belief. But
the grandfather wanted Marcus to dream of different things, other than having a
wife and bearing children. And Marcus did. The books he read were more than
enough to make him dream. To make him dream of the ocean, of the lands of fire,
of the lands of endless blue skies, of everything his small village wasn't. But
he never spoke about to anyone. He couldn't. He would be killed for it. Not to
mention his family too.
But one day his grandfather had missed a day of church. The village leaders
were in an uproar. Everyone was. "How could you defy the lord!" The villagers
would chant as they marched their way to the Greybeard home. Marcus was the
first to hear the chants. Curious as to why they were chanting it, he peeked
out his window. The mob was angry. Vicious looks of anger and disgust were on
their faces as they held different weapons. Marcus raced to his grandfather.
"They know!" He shouted. His grandfather had simply laid down on his bed let
the village men enter his home and steal him. The mother had to simply stand by
as the village people stole her father away. She couldn't do anything, the
bible was law and she couldn't break it. The father had also been swept up in
the crowd. He wanted nothing more than to eliminate the possible threat to the
lord. He held no sympathy for the man as they forced him to kneel on the
village stage where they often preached.
"On this day we make this man a known for his crimes against the lord. His
crime, missing a day of worship!" A man shouted as he pulled out a revolver. It
was cast in silver. The holy metal, they said. The grandfather looked up to see
Marcus trembling in the back of the crowd. His fists tightly clenched and tears
running down his cheeks. With his final seconds he whispered, "Dream."
From that day on, Marcus didn't speak. His father had left them because his
mother had finally decided to put her foot down and disagree with him. His
mother, now alone and with no way of income, began to sell her body to the
travelers for money. She would often spend that money on alcohol, even if the
village was dry, you could always find something. She would drink herself
unconscious every night. Forgetting to feed Marcus regularly. The boy knew that
he was in a bad situation. His mother didn't notice him, his father had left,
his grandfather was dead and he simply couldn't bring himself to dream anymore.
His dreams were once so vivid. Full of vibrant flowers, rich green grass, cool
clean water falls, endless blue skies, and everything else his mind could think
of, even fields of frozen water called snow. Now they were full of death.
Wilting flowers, blood soaked earth and warm muddy water. Even with his
grandfather's last words being what he wanted most, to dream, he simply didn't
have the will to. It was like everything that made him 'him' was gone.
As the sun rose at six a.m, Marcus saw the beautiful colors paint the sky. The
mixing of pink, red and orange made him feel something for the first time in
months. His dry empty blue eyes filled with tears. The light sting of them gave
him a sense of life. Like the sunrise was something built for him. For the next
half hour he watched as the sun rose. When the colors left, so did the sense of
life. He needed to feel again, so he went downstairs. His mother was passed out
at the table. Her dress had strange stains on it but he never cared. As she was
passed out, he moved things slightly. Only moving them an inch at most. He
smirked as his mother began to wake up. "Hello mother." He greeted kindly, but
a smile nowhere on his face. "Fuck off." She swore. She had begun doing that
lately. The woman began to bump into things. The slight change of the room sent
her into a frenzy. "Did you do this!" She would roar at the boy. Marcus merely
shook his head. It amused him to see his mother so frustrated. Not to mention
that bruises that would be on her legs and hips would remind him of his doings
made him want to giggle. Ever since then he messed with her.
He would hide the keys. "Marcus! Where are my fucking keys!" She would yell in
anger. He would place the keys back when she wasn't looking. "How could I be so
stupid!" She would begin to hate herself more. But as the days turned to week,
and weeks to months, Marcus began to lack the fun he had once had in messing
with his mother. She never swore at the top of her lungs or threw a fit, she
simply smacked him or mumbled to herself. He didn't feel alive. So he changed
it. His mother was out with a John, so he grabbed an empty bucket from the shed
and held it below their neighbors dead pig that was hanging, they would drain
the blood from their meat so the cutting process was easier, and waited. Pretty
soon, the bucket was full. Marcus took the bucket and hid it. He knew the
stench of his mother's drinking problem would hide the smell. A few hours later
his mother returned and began to drink. She passed out soon enough and Marcus
went into gear. He poured the blood near the back door and easily enough coated
his mothers hands. She was out cold so she couldn't feel him doing it. He over
turned some soil in the back, washed himself and waited. He walked down the
stairs and screamed. "Mother, what have you done!" His acting had gotten
exceptionally well in the past months.
His mother shot up. The sticky, nearly dried blood on her hands catching her
attention. Her eyes darted towards her son. He was clean and alive. She soon
spotted the large pool of blood and out the window some over turned dirt. "Oh
fuck. oh no. This can't be happening. I killed someone didn't I. Marcus, did I
harm anyone?" She rambled, running her hands through her hair, seemingly
unaffected by the pull the sticky blood caused on her greasy locks. "I, uh, I
don't know?" Marcus seemed scared of his mother. But the weak look of terror
was simply hiding a devilish smirk. "You better tell me!" The woman stomped up
to the boy, her hand pulled back. Marcus flinch back, ready for the strike but
it never came. "I'm going to have to move. They can't know. I don't want to
die. OH fuck. Fuck this village. Fuck it! I don't give a shit anymore!" The
woman began to laugh as she swore. She gripped her head on either side. Her
smiled growing to an inhuman size. "Hey Marcus, guess what! I don't love you. I
never have!" She shouted, her stained teeth and alcohol soaked breath making
Marcus force down the need to vomit. "Your grandfather was a none believing
fucker! And you're just like him! Aren't you? Speak faggot!" She ordered
smacking the small boy's cheek. Armin felt the tears fall from his cheeks. He
didn't mean this. She was over reacting. "I-I-" "I don't fucking care!" The
woman threw Marcus to the floor, his chin hitting the dirty floor boards. His
teeth went through his tongue, filling his mouth with blood as his mother
released all of her pent up rage.
Her heeled boots crushed his bones, popped his blood vessels and made him cry
out in pain. His mother had beaten him before but this was different. She was
digging into his cracked ribs with her boots. "How does that feel?" She
seethed. Her drunken rage seemingly endless. "Mama please." He wheezed. The
feeling of breathing was painful. His lung had been pierced he knew it. "Don't.
Call. Me. That." She growled, twisting her foot into a tender area. Marcus fell
unconscious.
~
Armin was rocking back and forth as he told the story. He had never told the
story like that before and inserting another person into it made it easier to
share, like it wasn't him who was abused and he couldn't be judged for it. Like
his mother wouldn't disown him as she broke his body, like his grandfather
could still read with him. Erwin swallowed the lump in his throat. His eyes
begged to cry but he wouldn't let them. Instead, the older man got up and began
to rub calming circles into Armin's back. The small blonde leaned into a
Erwin's warm body. The two simply sat in silence, listening to Armin's sobs and
the clock as it ticked.
Chapter End Notes
     Dear readers, seriously, give me your ideas. I've only planned this
     fic for so long and I'm starting to lose ideas. Tell me what to want.
     It makes writing easier and much more enjoyable when I have the
     readers telling me how to make the story more interesting. Of course,
     I'll input my own ideas and put my own twist on them, but your ideas
     will help bunches. Thanks for reading, smooches ❤
***** Chapter 17 *****
Chapter Summary
     Eren and Levi fluff, A little bit of Mikasa's past, Hanji being cute.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Armin's session came and went. But Erwin felt he really connected with the boy.
The way Armin held onto him as he sobbed will haunt him till his dying day. He
held a new respect for Hanji. The tall blonde found his way back to the main
room where most of the patients were. Being that it was barely mid day, the
patients were still in the main room. The large door opened and Erwin stepped
in. The blonde cleared his throat before calling out, "Mikasa Ackerman." His
booming voice moved throughout the room. The raven stood up from her sit in the
art section and easily found her way over to the blonde. Her stoic expression
taking in his appearance.
~
Levi awoke to the rhythmic sound of Eren's heart beat. "Wha?" His voice faded
off, the sleep making his voice hazy. "Hey baby cakes." Eren chuckled, his
chest vibrating. Levi pushed himself up with one arm as the other rubbed the
sleep from his eyes. His mouth hung open and he sat up completely. "You're so
cute." Eren mumbled sitting up as well. Levi noticed the color returning to
Eren's face how quickly his arms were healing. "Your arms." Levi nearly
whispered, the sleep making his voice weak for the next few minutes. "Oh yeah.
I've always healed pretty quickly. But since he started injecting stuff into me
I've healed faster." Eren stated running a finger along his arm. The indent
were still noticeable but better. "What time is it?" Levi spoke again. His eyes
searching for a clock. "Only ten in the morning. Don't worry, I'll still get
you both breakfast." Mike spoke from the doorway. The room they were staying
was another cell. Eren's previous one was too dangerous to stay in. "Thank
you." Eren and Levi spoke in unison. A few giggles escaping their mouths as
they stood up.
Levi still felt tired and sore despite the full nights rest. As the trio made
their way through the halls and towards the dinning room, Levi spoke to Eren.
"Did I do anything in my, uh, sleep?" Levi didn't Eren in the eyes, instead he
kept his head down to hide his blush. He was still a very shy person, even with
Eren. Eren tensed slightly, Levi took note. "Tell me." Levi spoke with a tone
that Eren had never heard come from the boy's mouth before. "You, uh, how do I
put this. In the middle of the night you began to move around a lot." Eren
lowered his voice, Mike had taken a mental note about the conversation. His
ears heard every word despite the low volume. "And then you started mumbling
something about a guy named 'Kenny'. It seemed to upset you so I tried to wake
you up but you weren't having that and nearly punched me in the jaw." Eren gave
a dry chuckle as Levi apologized."Don't worry about it. Instead I just kinda
held you close and starting humming. After a little while you calmed down."
Eren held Levi's hand, the contact made Levi feel at ease. "Later tonight I'll
tell you about him." Levi had to keep himself from spitting and cursing at
Kenny's name. The bastard deserved every ounce of pain he gave Levi. "Okay."
Eren saw Levi was nearly trembling in anger or fear? He didn't know, but simply
picked the raven up. Levi gave a squeak at the sudden height he was at as he
clamped onto Eren's broad shoulders. "Eren?" He questioned. "You look tired,
take a nap honey buns." Eren said flashing a smile. Levi gave a soft smile in
return before nuzzling his face into Eren's neck. One of his favorite things
about Eren was he ability to see when Levi needed a rest or to be held. The
raven easily enough fell asleep, the rhythmic thumps of Eren walking and his
calm breathing were calming to the ever turning demons in his head.
~
The raven haired female laid gracefully on the sofa in her therapy room. The
room was blank, no colors, little to no furniture, everything white. Erwin
guessed it gave her time to think. "So Ms. Ackerman, why do you believe you're
here?" Erwin spoke clearly, his emotions were still high from speaking with
Armin. "I've been here for a few years Dr. Smith. I believe we can go deeper
than that." Mikasa spoke without looking in the blonde direction. Her dark
almond shaped eyes stared blankly at the ceiling. Erwin was taken back by the
blunt personality this young girl had but continued with his line of questions.
"What caused your obsession with your sixth grade crush?" Erwin questioned. The
tight gripping on her fists gave Erwin a reaction. This question was never
asked so bluntly to the girl. "....He was perfect." She said after a few
moments. Erwin listened to her small voice as she went on about the boy in
question. "He was always polite, willing to help everyone, never late, always
top of the class. He even helped me with learning Japanese, despite not being
native to my own country he spoke it better than some of my own relatives. His
personality was perfect. But he never noticed me how I wanted him to." Mikasa's
expression had finally changed. It held a small level of bleakness.
"What's his name." "I'm not telling you that." Mikasa snapped. She sat up
quicker than Erwin could see to glare at the man. "Ms. Ackerman, how am I going
to help you if I don't know his name?" Erwin was unfazed by the ferocious
glare. "His name isn't important. All you need to know about him is that he's
perfect in every way." Mikasa huffed. Erwin sighed. His thoughts went back to
Armin's session. "Was your past traumatizing for you?" Erwin glanced at the
girl. She was still sitting up but position had changed. Her legs were now
crossed, the soft white pant material rose on her legs to expose writing. Over
and over, one word was written. "What's on your leg?" Erwin questioned getting
ready to stand up to look. "Nothing sir. Your eyes must be seeing things.
Having your dear friend in the hospital must be taxing." Mikasa evaded the
question. "I suppose." Erwin did not buy her evasion. But decided to drop it.
"Ms. Ackerman, please describe your first meeting with the boy in question."
Erwin leaned back in his chair as the girl had a dreamy look in her eyes.
"It.....It was one of the best days in my life." She whispered.
~
"Hello everyone, I hope you all studied." The teacher spoke with a small smile.
"Yes Mrs. Fubar" The class replied, seemingly dead by the morning hour. A young
girl with beautifully long raven hair at in the front. Her expression was stoic
as she organized her papers, pens and other school supplies. The door opened
catching her attention. The class, including the teacher, turned to look at the
opening door. A young man wearing the school uniform and school books stepped
to the front of the class. "You must be the new student." The teacher smiled at
the boy. "Yes ma'am. Pleasure to meet you." He shook her hand and ended his
sentence with a smile. Mikasa stared at the boy. Her heart was fluttering
against her rib cage as his eyes scanned the class with the teacher. "You may
sit next to Mikasa." The teacher gestured to the female and the empty seat next
to her. "Thank you." The boy sat down and introduced himself to her. His smile
was kind, hand warm and eyes shining. Mikasa felt her heart melt.
~
Erwin listened as the girl before him spoke. A smile had form on her face,
although it wasn't small nor cute. It was large, psychotic and bone chilling.
"Mikasa?" Erwin snapped the girl from her thoughts. "Yes?" Her head snapped up.
His eyes held different emotions. A flicker of something unidentifiable caught
Erwin's attention. Before he could speak his phone vibrated in his pocket.
Hey eyebrows! I'm gonna be okay! :D -Hanji
Erwin felt the building stress melt away by that simple smiley face. A small
smile form on his face as he typed out his own response.
I'll visit you in a bit. -Erwin
"Was that Ms. Hanji?" Mikasa questioned. Erwin looked up at the girl. Her
expression no longer held that haunting smile, instead, it was blank. Nothing.
No emotions. Absolutely nothing. Erwin took down some notes quickly. "Yes,
she'll be fine." Mikasa nodded at the information as she shuffled around. Her
eyes locked on her left wrist. Erwin raised an eyebrow as he studied the limb
from his desk. With the covering sleeve of the shirt he couldn't see anything.
But he knew something was wrong with it. The sudden timer going off knocked him
from his thoughts. "Well it seems our time is up. It was a pleasure speaking
with you." Erwin smiled calmly at the girl as he stood. "Yes, it certainly was
a pleasure." Mikasa stood as well. Straightening out her clothes, she followed
Erwin as he opened the door. "Head back to the main room, one of the nurses
should lead you back. It's nearly lunch time. Wouldn't want you to go hungry
now would we?" Erwin joked as the girl stepped into the hall. A male nurse with
short brown hair and brown eyes turned the corner to approach the pair. "I'll
escort her back to the main room." The nurse smiled at the head doctor. "Good,
I'll be in my office going over notes." The two men nodded to each other before
separating to do their tasks.
Erwin went back into the room to grab his notes before leaving. Once he had
them all stacked neatly, he placed them in a folder. Erwin took back to the
halls to visit Hanji.
The male entered the medical bay where Hanji would have to stay for a few more
days. Once the male had proven his identity he entered Hanji's room. She was
sitting in her bed with a large folder open. The front had a picture of Eren.
"I take it the nurses have taken all of the notes down from the recording?"
Erwin chuckled at the squeak Hanji let out. "Yeah, I'm going over it. Erwin
this poor child." Hanji mumbled as she put a fist to her mouth. "You just got
out of surgery, they also said that emotional stress will worsen the tremor, so
stop." Erwin grabbed the folder and took it away from Hanji's grasp. "Hey! I
was still reading that. My patients are more important than my health." Hanji
said with conviction. "I know Hanji, but right now we can't have one of our
most important doctors dying." Erwin hesitated on the word 'dying'. If Hanji
died, Erwin wouldn't have anyone to lean on. Sure he was good friends with
Mike, but Hanji had been with him for years. You can't just break that bond.
"I guess you're right." Hanji pouted. "But I still want to work! Levi needs
me." Hanji pleaded. Erwin hesitated. Emotional stress is bad for Hanji, but
keeping her held up like this is bad for the patients and her mental health. "I
guess, but, only if you take it easy. No therapy sessions, no group sessions,
no stressing yourself. You got it?" Erwin looked Hanji in the eye. She held
nothing but determination. "Yes, sir!" She saluted. Her fist clenched tightly
and pulled to her chest. Erwin smiled at her before she broke into giggles.
"Come on Eyebrows, sign me out so I can love on my babies!" Hanji grinned, her
childish nature coming out as she hugged her plethora of stuffed animals. Sure
she was childish, gave others unwanted nicknames, and got on the nerves of
everyone she worked with, but she was a fine doctor, even better friend, and
the light for some of the patients. And Erwin would give up his right arm
before letting Hanji die.
Chapter End Notes
     I'm sorry for the late update. I seem to be apologizing for them a
     lot lately, sorry. Thank you Anon for the idea to explore Mikasa's
     background, it gave me a window to slip into the next arc of this
     fic.
     I'm thinking of starting another fic, one that will be updated once a
     week. Please leave suggestions in the comments or ask me on my tumblr
     for any fic aus or simple one-shot ideas you would like to see come
     to live ❤
***** Chapter 18 *****
Chapter Summary
     Hanji and Erwin talk, sweet fluff, Annie spills her lesbian feelings,
     Erwin thinks, more sweet fluff
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Erwin sat in Hanji's room as she went on and on about random things. Just to
keep her mind off of potentially stressful things. "Enough about large
chocolate shakes, how are Eren and Levi?" Her bright smile and twinkling eyes
begged for information. Erwin desperately wanted to keep any work related
topics out of the conversation, but she needed to be answered. "Mike told me
they're better than ever. Eren even carried Levi into the dinning hall because
the little thing was all tuckered out." The two doctors held the same gentle
smile. "And you didn't want Levi to see him again." Hanji teased. "You got me
there. Levi really brings the best out of him. I can see them far down the line
baking cupcakes in pink aprons." Erwin chuckled at the image. Hanji broke into
laughter. It had been such a long time since she'd been stress free. It felt
nice.
~
Eren smiled as Levi happily ate his late breakfast. Eren ate slowly, taking his
time to watch Levi devour his small dessert. The past few days Levi had been
too stressed to eat. With the personal message from one of the nurses from
Hanji saying she was okay easing his worries he could finally relax to some
level. Sure hearing raised voices made him shake, seeing the men with dark long
hair made his chest collapse in on it self, and being left alone with his own
thoughts for too long led to having Eren hold him till he calmed down, but he
no longer had to be constantly entertained or babied, although Eren liked to
baby him.
Levi set down the small plastic cup as he swallowed the last of his chocolate
pudding. The food here was much better than anything he's ever had before. His
small gunmetal blue eyes glanced at the softly smiling brunette. "What?" He
questioned, confused and a little embarrassed as to why Eren was staring at him
with such a look of serenity. "Nothing." Eren replied before taking a bite of
his roll. "You're just really cute." Eren chuckled at the sudden blush that
exploded over Levi's face. The raven was at a loss as to what to say. His brain
seemed to have taken a vacation and left him an empty mushy husk which couldn't
form words. His flustered appearance and gaping mouth caused Eren to break into
a loud laughter. "Oh my god, you're so precious. How can you even be real."
Eren said between giggles. "Oh be quiet will you!" Levi finally managed to say
something that could be understood, but it only fueled Eren's laughter.
From the other side of the room a pair of dark eyes watched with burning
jealousy. Well kept nails pierced the front and back cover of the book in the
person's hands, leaving small crescent shapes in the dark red material. A low
growl left their throat, quiet enough for no one around to here, but just loud
enough for them to hear it and calm down. Getting agitated now wouldn't help
any. The grip loosened and they eventually were able to begin reading once
more, but their eyes glanced back at the couple sitting many yards away every
so often, narrowing at every move they made.
~
Erwin read from the file in his hands as he walked down the hall. His and
Hanji's conversation had gone on for a few more hours before Hanji's doctor
entered the room and suggested Erwin leave so she could get some more rest.
With great hesitance, Erwin had left but took all of Hanji's files with him. He
only kept the large one on Eren and read through it. Even if he wasn't going to
have a session with the brunette, he wanted to be versed on him and his past.
The blonde approached the large door separating the halls from the main room
and entered his pass code. The patients were all inside and interacting on some
level. Historia and Ymir were cuddled against each other as they spoke with one
another. Reiner and Bertolt were in the art section, more than likely drawing.
Sasha and Connie were playing board games and had a few more stacked up on
either side of them. Annie was sitting in the reading section with Armin only a
few feet from her with a three foot tall stack of novels next to him. But Erwin
was searching for a certain pair of boys.
He found them walking over to the collection of sofas with their hands
intertwined. A soft smile grew on Erwin's lips as they sat down and immediately
cuddled into the other. He closed the file in his hands and approached the two
boys. "How are you two doing today?" He spoke suddenly. Their small talk
stopped as they jumped from the sudden voice. Eren's arms instinctively wrapped
around Levi as they turned to face Erwin. "I thought you were someone else."
Levi mumbled as Eren gave his own greeting. Erwin nodded and sat down in front
of them.
"Hanji is doing great, still a giant chatter box, and will be back in about two
days." Erwin stated, smiles grew on the pair of teens. "Thank you Erwin." Levi
said with thankful tone. "No problems, now if you will excuse me, I have a
patient to tend to." Erwin got up, mentally questioning why he even sat down in
the first place, and approached the tanned blonde female. "Annie Leonhart?" He
spoke quietly, knowing of the near silent aura of the section he was in. The
stoic female nodded and stood up. Her movements were fluid but guarded. Erwin
took mental notes of her body language as they left the main room, walked
through the halls and entered her room. It was simple, like Mikasa's, but had a
bookshelf filled with fantasy books, Erwin noted. It reminded him of his
promise with Armin, he began to think about the different books Armin might
like before Annie's glare pulled him back into reality.
"Sorry, let's get on with this shall we?" Erwin gave a smile but received a
cold stare, it reminded him of Levi's expression when he first met him. Annie
sat on the sofa as Erwin took his seat at his small desk. "How would you like
to start?" Erwin knew Annie hated to be controlled. She craved freedom, even if
it was a simple 'how would you like this conversation to go' it let her know he
wasn't going to control, force or restrict her.
"Somethings been on my mind for a while now, can I talk about that?" Annie
asked with a hopeful voice. Erwin nodded, leaning back and mentally preparing
for answering any questions she would have for him. "I like someone, but they
never pay attention to me and I doubt they know I'm even here." Annie spoke
monotone, her expression stoic and eyes distant. Erwin certainly didn't expect
this. "How often would you say you speak with this person?" Erwin spoke
carefully, not wanting to upset this girl. "Barely, she just carries herself
with so much elegance and confidence. Like she isn't locked up. Like she has
complete control over herself and her future. And I envy that, but I also want
to be part of that with her." Annie spilled more than she meant but couldn't
take it back now. Erwin also didn't expect the object of Annie's affection to
be female, but he couldn't care less. "You should try and speak with her,
become friends at first. She'll be comfortable around you, and hopefully your
relationship will blossom from there." Erwin wasn't the best with
relationships, he's still single for a reason, but he tried his best.
Annie nodded, taking in the information, but released a sigh. "But I know she's
in love with another person. And I can never compare to them. They're perfect,
kind, smart, knows how to play the damned piano, but he's taken. Which makes me
worried for her and him." Annie felt the tears form behind her eyes, but she
fought them down. He thumb nails dug into her lightly tanned skin, the tears
eventually faded and her throat opened. Erwin closed his eyes in thought. He
could tell who the male she was talking about, Eren Yeager, but couldn't figure
out the female.
He had never watched Annie interact with any other patients besides Reiner
Braun, Bertolt Hoover, and Armin Arlert. But they were all mostly 'can you pass
me that book', 'I'll help you on this problem if you help me on this', and 'can
you grab that off the top shelf'. All of them were male, the only other girls
were Ymir, Historia, Sasha and Mikasa. They all carried themselves with a level
of confidence, only Mikasa, Historia and Ymir spoke and acted like they knew
who and what they were, but Ymir and Krista were in a relationship with each
other. Leaving only Mikasa, but something didn't settle right with Erwin. Annie
went on about how her crush was beautiful, all of the details led to the crush
being Mikasa.
The session was quickly over, Annie appeared less stressed than before, but
overall still stoic. Erwin couldn't remember half of what they had spoken
about. His mind was in a haze, only thinking about the love mess Eren, Mikasa,
Annie and more than likely Levi were in. As much as he wanted to drop it and
get on with work, his mind kept going back to Mikasa's past with violence and
her crushes. No one besides Mikasa knew who the girl's crush was who caused her
to obsess over him besides the girl herself. She had burned her own home down
destroying all evidence in her room and around her home of her obsession,
leaving a few beaten bodies and mostly burnt pair of parents in her wake. He
glanced at his watch, he had three hours till Hanji's doctor would let him back
in to speak with her, he had to wait till then.
~
Levi laid on Eren's chest, their legs intertwined, and warmth shared. Levi was
always a cold person, physically and emotionally, and the warmth Eren had was
almost inhuman. His head rose and fell with Eren's calm breathing. The brunette
was reading as Levi drifted to sleep on his chest. He felt more at peace than
he had in years. The stress of wanting to run free, to not be contained by
concrete walls, the dead stare of his parents, the strong present ache in his
muscles and bones after he woke up from every break, and simply the feeling
wanting to be human had all been put on the far back burner, only wanting to
spend as much time as he could with the small raven calmly napping on his chest
filled his mind. He never wanted to let go, and he hoped the other didn't too.
Dark eyes watched from the other side of the room, narrowed in anger and
jealousy.
Chapter End Notes
     I am such trash. I took so long to write this chapter and it's shit.
     I'm so sorry, I've been thinking of other fics and writing them
     instead of this one and time just went by so quickly not to mention
     school is a wonderful thing that keeps me from updating every once in
     a while, and I'm just so sorry. Please tell me what you think about
     this chapter and what you would possibly want in future chapters. I
     hope it's decent. I know it's not, but one can hope! Have a wonderful
     day/night wherever you are ❤
***** Chapter 19 *****
Chapter Summary
     Guess what's a piece of shit? This chapter and me.
     Erwin speaks with Hanji, Annie is rude, and Hanji is worried for her
     babies.
Chapter Notes
     Hey readers, you should give me possible ideas because I didn't plan
     this far into it. woops
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Hanji snored blissfully away in her hospital bed. Her hair was free from it's
normal pony tail and knotted together by the constant twists and turns in her
sleep. Sudden bright lights caused the sleeping beast to let out a loud groan
of annoyance. "Hanji, you need to get up. I have a feeling Mikasa isn't doing
as well as we thought." Erwin stuttered over his last sentence. Like he wasn't
sure what to say. Hanji sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "Tell me as I
get ready." Her voice was clear, no sleep remaining as she got up from her bed.
"From my last session with Annie I know Mikasa is obsessing with another
patient. That patient just so happens to be Eren Yeager." Hanji nodded as she
quickly disrobed. Erwin was pacing in front of the open bathroom door, his mind
too preoccupied to even think about peeping in on his best friend. "And from
another session with Mikasa I believe she's hurting herself? Or maybe just
drawing on herself. She had writing on her leg, I couldn't make out what it was
exactly, but I'm willing to bet it's Eren's name or something related to that."
Hanji had slipped into the shower, washing her matted hair and sweat soaked
body at inhuman speeds as she listened.
"When I'm done, we need to go through Mikasa's room. Find anything and
everything that could be related to Eren." Hanji spoke loud enough for Erwin to
hear above the running water. "Okay. It's eight thirty, I have a group. Let's
meet up after group." Erwin let out a sigh, the recent stress of everything
happening has gotten to him. "You're doing great Erwin, don't worry. I'm sure
Mikasa won't do anything dangerous to the others." Hanji smiled at him, hiding
her body behind the door frame. The blonde nodded before exiting the room.
~
The group of mental patients all filed towards the group room. Today they still
had Erwin as their main therapist, but it was now known information that Hanji
was going to be returning in the next couple days.
"Levi." Eren held onto Levi's hand as they walked. The raven peered up at the
brunette with a confused look in his eyes, his expression was otherwise stoic.
"Yeah?" He replied, tightening his grip out of a mixture of unidentifiable
emotions. "Nothing, I just wanted to say your name." Eren smiled as a blush
danced across Levi's cheeks and traveled up his ears. "Shut up." Levi hissed,
his flustered stated cause Eren to laugh. The raven hid his face to cover his
smile. Eren's laugh was making him even more flustered.
The group stared fondly at the pair. It was nice to see the once so distant and
otherwise unapproachable Eren Yeager so calm and happy. It gave them all, well
almost all, a sense of hope. That they could possibly become better. It set the
goal of possible freedom.
Mikasa stood at the back of the group, her glare wasn't well hidden, and easily
noticed by Annie. The blonde glanced at the happy couple, they weren't
official, but everyone knew it was only a matter of time. She felt a forming
weight in her stomach. Annie wanted that. She wanted to feel happy with another
person. And that person she dreamed of is Mikasa. Why does Eren get to have her
affection? Why does that monster get to take Mikasa away from her? Annie knew
what she felt. It was burning jealousy. Her knuckles thirsted for blood. 'No,
don't think like that.' Annie paused. She began to breath in and out in
rhythmed motions. She counted to ten before exhaling. But it didn't help, the
jealousy only grew and her knuckles throbbed, the bruises came to mind. Annie
quickly hid her hands in her hoodie.
"Are you alright?" A warm hand was gently placed on her shoulder, barely
touching her. Annie jumped back from the touch, her fists raised and ready to
fight. "I'm not going to hurt you." Eren's calming voice rushed to answer.
Annie's ice blue eyes scanned the hall, she saw Levi's grey eyes glance at them
before disappearing into the group room. "Then what do you want?" Annie hissed,
her eyes narrowing at the brunette before her. "You suddenly stopped and you
seem stressed. A lot more stressed than normal. I'm just worried for you." Eren
spoke low, his movements slow and almost nonexistent.
"Like hell you're worried for me. You're too busy worrying about that little
twerp." Annie was quick to insult the raven. Eren clenched his fists, his
trimmed nails digging into his tanned palmed, drawing blood. "Annie, I suggest
that you don't insult Levi again. It's not my fault that I can see your
feelings for Mikasa, or that you jealous about something. Just don't go glaring
at Levi and I." Eren spoke eerily calm for someone on the brink of lashing out.
Annie felt a chill run down her spine.
Eren stared her down with a cold look in his eye. The oceanic turquoise blue
was cold and dull. Lacking any and all empathy. "Are we clear." It wasn't even
a question. Annie quickly nodded, the rest of her body was frozen. A smile
formed on Eren's lips before he nodded and entered the group room. Annie
snapping up from her fear driven haze to see an impatient Erwin standing at the
door. The blonde rushed in, apologizing lightly at the door. The doctor raised
a brow at her strange behavior but brushed it off, he had a group session to
tend to.
~
Hanji shuffled around her office. The previous piles of files, random papers,
books, therapy plans, and god knows what else that reached the ceiling were
cleaned up and put into their right place within filing cabinets. Hanji flung
open her office curtains. The dark blue curtains were a stark contrast to the
clean white that is everything else. The sunlight poured in, bathing the room
in a warm glow that Hanji missed. Of course with the double pane windows, the
warmth was weak but it was there.
"What to do, I have to wait for Erwin and I have no idea what I can do in that
time. I'm just so worried about Levi and Eren. What if something happens? What
if someone tries to harm my baby?" Hanji carefully sat down and let her head
rest against the back of the chair. 'Too much movement and stress can cause the
loss of balance and muscle control. Breath in, breath out.' Hanji thought as
she mouthed along to her words. Her chest rise and falling in a rhythmic
pattern. Once she felt the terrible thoughts vanish from her mind, she opened
her eyes. Her jagged, bitten, nails tapped lightly on her desk. Her mind was in
another place as she stared out the window at the clean yard that surrounded
the facility. "I hope they're okay."
Chapter End Notes
     I'm trash. I'm worth nothing. I took so long for this chapter. It's
     shit. I'm so disappointed in myself. I guess time flies when you
     stare at the wall for twelve hours a day and get behind in school. I
     apologize again for being so gosh darn late, I'll be posting more
     chapters more often (hopefully) now since I have a few typed up, but
     they're still rough drafts so we'll see I guess.
***** Chapter 20 *****
Chapter Summary
     The climax of the 'Mikasa what is wrong with you' arc and Levi is my
     son who needs to be protected.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Group came and went. Reiner had shouted at Erwin for questioning his loyalty to
Bertolt's friendship. Annie had to be restrained after taking a swing at Connie
after he insulted her. Connie was removed after he threatened Historia. Ymir
was also removed after nearly breaking four of Connie's ribs. And last but not
least, Historia was sent back with Ymir when the taller female wouldn't let go
of the blonde and nearly bit one of the nurses. Levi was left a wide eyed mess
by the time it was done. "I guess it must be the full moon." Eren had joked a
bit to loosen Levi up as they left. The raven guessed it worked as by the time
most of them were back in the main room he wasn't thinking about the group of
radically insane assholes he now lived with.
Eren practically pranced his way over the art section. It had been way too long
since he had drawn anything. His fingers were twitching. Levi watched as he
followed after him, just at a much more casual pace, and small smile on his
lips. Eren was like a kid in a candy who was just told they could have anything
they wanted. His arms were full of pens, pencils, papers, paints and more. When
Levi finally arrived Eren was already mid way through sketching something. The
rough lines were light and hard to see from his angle so he simply went to go
get a book.
After a few, thirty, minutes, Levi finally chose his book. It was an old
favorite, 'Carry On' by Rainbow Rowell. The cover was simple; solid yellow with
red outlines of the two main characters facing each other. Levi walked back
over to Eren and sat down in the beanbag only a few feet away from him. Only a
few sentences in, and Levi was already enveloped into the story. You could
literally kick him over and he would only realize it went he hits the floor.
Eren peeked at the raven out of the corner of his eyes and smiled before going
back to his drawing. This went on for hours, even past the time when a nurse
came by and said they could go back to their rooms.
~
Hanji and Erwin silently walked down the hall. Their minds were running wild.
What was Mikasa hiding? What would she do to get Eren alone? Would she attack
Levi? They soon arrived at the raven's door. Hanji unlocked the door and turned
on the lights within the second. The pair stepped in and glanced around the
room. It was well kept. No color. No personal items. Nothing out of place. Bed
well made, military style. It was almost hauntingly clean. Hanji shook the
weird chill off her back and charged forward. Erwin followed her as they over
turned pillows, blankets, her mattress, looked behind the sofa. Nothing.
The pair stepped back, their eyes darting all over the room to try and find
anything. "This." Hanji trailed off on her sentence as she stepped towards the
mirror. Her longs arms stretched around it, took it off the multiple clips that
kept it to the wall, then took wobbly steps back till she could set the mirror
against another wall. Erwin and herself stared at the large painting on the
white wall. Eren Yeager stared back at them in dark brown paint with a mess of
words around his head. Hanji stepped forward; her legs were shaking, hands
trembling, and breath shallow and slow. Erwin was frozen in a multitude of
emotions.
"He will be mine. Why won't he notice me. Fucking love me. I'll kill that
little brat. I'll tear out his lungs. Mikasa Yeager. Mikasa Yeager. Mikasa
Yeager." Hanji read off in a quiet whisper. Erwin swallowed the lump in his
throat before standing tall. "I believe this is grounds for the removal of
Ackerman from our facility?" Hanji nodded before sharply turning around. She
marched out of the small bedroom, down the hall, and even in the elevator she
paced around till she arrived on the right floor. Erwin arrived only a few
minutes after, before breaking into a sprint after Hanji.
The brunette woman opened the doors, her rage that she tried so hard to keep
down showing as her breathing quickened and hands clenched around nothing.
"Mikasa!"
~
An Hour Earlier
~
Mikasa sat in the art section peacefully watching Eren as he frantically
worried about his drawing and soon to be painting. Her smile was calm and
relaxed but hardened into a sneer as she witnessed Eren smile at Levi. Her
hands clenched into fists, snapping the pencil in her hands. "Hey Mikasa, are
you okay?" Annie asked quietly from her spot in the mass of bean bags.
"Peachy." The ravenette growled out. She forced her attention back to the
drawing she was working on, another portrait of her obsession. But Annie kept
staring at her. 'She's twitchy. Damn you Yeager.' Annie gritted her teeth as
Eren held up the large paper with the water color complete.
"Hey Levi, look!" He looked like a kid in a candy house on Christmas day. His
smile took over his face and eyes wide and sparkling. The raven looked up and
took one look at the drawing before folding into himself as a heavy blush
danced across his face. "It really looks like you doesn't it." Eren chuckled as
Levi faintly nodding as he buried his head in his book. "Mikasa, does it look
like him?" The brunette had no idea what he was doing as he spoke that simple
sentence. Mikasa clenched her jaw tight. It was an amazingly detailed water
color painting of Levi as he faintly smiled at nothing. And it pissed her off
to no end. She wanted to be the one of his affection. The one of his obsession.
Before anyone knew it, Mikasa's fist was through the paper and grabbing Eren's
collar. Levi jumped at the strangled cat noise Eren let out as Mikasa smashed
their lips together. Levi, even knowing it was completely Mikasa, it broke his
heart. He and Eren had yet to kiss. Levi clenched his teeth and instinctively
formed fists of his hands as he marched towards the pair.
Eren threw himself back as he coughed and took in as much air as he could.
"Eren! Why don't you love me? Why do you love that?!" Mikasa shouted, throwing
her hand out to point at the obviously pissed Levi. Her face turned in time to
see Levi's fist just before it collided with her face. "Mikasa!" Hanji's voice
shouted into the large. All of the attention that was once on Levi and Mikasa
was now on Hanji. Levi was too pissed, tired, and something else he couldn't
name to go run up and hug her. "The bitch is down." Reiner said pointing to her
unconscious body. "Good." Hanji smirked as a group of nurses with a stretcher
entered after her.
"Mikasa Ackerman is being removed from our facility after going through
rigorous questioning. If you have anything to share about her, please talk to
your therapist. Group and session will continue as normal. If you have any
questions please contact Hanji or myself." Erwin announced as he approached
Eren. "You were the object of her obsession for a while." Erwin spoke quietly
so only Eren and Levi could make out what he said. The brunette was visibly
shaken as he stood up.
 Levi stared at his throbbing fist. It had been so long since he had gotten in
a fight. He had forgotten the pain that accompanied punching someone directly
in the nose. The last time that happened was. Was when he woke up mid way
through his assault. Two arms wrapped around him suddenly, frightening him.
"Huh?" He gasped breathlessly. "Don't worry Levi, you didn't do anything
wrong." Eren's calming voice spoke. A dry chuckled left Levi's parted lips. "I
know. I was just thinking back a little." Only then did Levi notice that his
hands were trembling. 'I still haven't told him.'
Chapter End Notes
     So you readers have any ideas? I would love it if one of you, even if
     it's just one, would share the ideas that you're too lazy to write
     yourself. Even if you think it's terrible, it's got a 90% chance of
     being in this fic at some point so just share them. Thank you all for
     reading this chapter, putting up with my lack of ideas, shitty
     writing, and especially the late chapters. I'm once again apologizing
     for it being nearly three days late. Anyway, send your ideas to my
     tumblr or just comment them below. Love you all ❤
***** Chapter 21 *****
Chapter Summary
     Fluff out the ass and what I'm sure a lot of you have been looking
     forward to *SMUT* *jazz hands*
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
After the deal with Mikasa everyone was on edge. The girls, on their way back
to their rooms that day, had seen Mikasa's drawing on the wall as the nurses
cleaned it. Annie was the only one of the group to determine that Mikasa had
drawn Eren's face in her own blood. The rest of the day she couldn't even bring
herself to smile in the mirror. So she kept quiet.
~
Levi stuck a whole new level of close to Eren. Not that Eren was complaining of
course. He simply wrapped his arms around the raven and held him close. The
pair, Eren was nearly draped over Levi, approached Hanji. Their faces in a mix
of excitement to finally see their beloved doctor and exhausted stress from the
past ten minutes. "Hey pumpkin, slightly larger pumpkin. What can I do for ya
boys?" Hanji's smile was large and bright. Completely contrasting from her
previous mood.
"Eren and me, have been talking about sharing a room. You said we could do
that, right?" Levi timidly spoke to the motherly doctor. "Oh, I see what's
going on here~" Hanji smirked. Eren stared wide eyed at the woman. "What the
hell are you talking about?" Levi spoke before Eren could comment. "Oh you
know. Staying up late to play board games with each other. Reading books under
the blankets with flashlights. Oh, coloring in the new Disney fairies coloring
book we got a shipment of." Hanji had leaned in midway through her list of
things to move her eyebrows and grin mischievously at the pair.
"I kick ass at monopoly." Eren said simply. His face in a mock stoic expression
but eyes shiny with happiness. Levi snorted at the statement. "I'd like to see
you try. I've never lost a game of monopoly....Then again I've only played
twice." Levi whispered the last line as the memory of playing for hours in a
free day in third grade with Farlen and Isabel. "Well then, we have to change
that, don't we?" Eren pulled himself off of the raven and pulled him over to
the board games. Eren saw the sad expression that had fallen over Levi's face
when he thought of his past. It made Eren more curious than ever, but he wasn't
going to force him into anything.
Hanji watched as Eren and Levi grabbed the box for monopoly. Her soft brown
eyes crinkled at the end as she smiled. Eren had made some comment as Levi
stretched to get another game of Clue but came up more than a few inches short,
causing the smaller of the two to explode in a heavy blush. "Shut up!" Levi's
'snarky' comeback only made the brunette laugh harder. It eased so much stress
in her to watch the pair get along so well. But she knew that something wrong
would happen sooner or later. Maybe that thing was small, but knowing their
luck, it could possibly tear them apart.
~
After catching his breath, Eren grabbed the Clue game and chuckled at the pouty
expression Levi was sporting. "Come on baby cakes. We gotta find out who did
it!" Eren held the two boxes along with several stacks of cards, each for a
different game. "You dork." Levi hid the smile on his face as he followed after
Eren back to one of their rooms.
-Warning, this is literally just going to be them being cute together, prepare
your ovaries-
"Oh come on! I rolled a five, not a six. Eren you saw that right?" Levi glared
at the dice that proudly displayed six dots. "Nope, it clearly says six. Move
your little car, you thief." Eren snapped thief comment but it held no bite.
"Why are you still salty? I'm always the car." Levi smirked as he moved his
piece. He could see Eren slightly fuming as he handled the small brass piece in
the shape of a car. "No, I'm the car." Eren replied simply. "But you're the
dog." Levi internally giggled as Eren frowned at the small dog form. "You're my
bitch." Levi let out a giggle as he spoke. Eren snapped his head up, a look of
complete and under betrayal on his face. Levi pressed a hand to his mouth to
keep himself from laughing too hard. Eren's expression was exaggerated way too
much to real.
"I for one think that you're the bitch in the relationship." Eren nodded along
to his own statement. Like he was listening to someone rant about something
with own own opinion. "So this is a relationship, huh." Levi mumbled. His eyes
were darting around the board. Eren was in way better shape than him. More
money, more properties, and hotels and homes. Levi on the other hand, was
barely holding on. One property that he couldn't afford to put a house on. He
knew who this game belonged to. Eren truly never lost a game of monopoly.
"Well yeah. We both love each other, right?" Levi snapped his attention to
Eren. "You, uh, love me?" Levi knew that he felt a extreme level of care for
Eren, but he hadn't thought that Eren could feel that much towards him. "Of
course I love you....You love me too, right?" Eren seemed smaller than he
really is as he folded into himself. A sense of fear and anxiety taking over.
"Of course I love you. Why wouldn't I?" Levi responded almost instantly. His
eyes were wide and hands now on Eren's shoulders. "That's good. Wait, better
than good. It's great!" Eren smiled widely. But it soon fell to a nervous
state.
"Do you want to continue monopoly? Cause you just threw it to the side and now
everything is everywhere." Eren chuckled looking up at the raven. "Nope. It's
for your sake. We both know that I was totally winning that game." Levi
chuckled as Eren snorted at the obvious sarcasm. "Yeah yeah, help me put the
game away so we don't loose any pieces." Levi nodded and the pair went along
picking up the small bits and pieces of the game.
As it laid to the side of the bed, the pair fell into a cuddling position.
Eren's arms wrapped tightly around Levi's much smaller body. Their legs were
entangled and faces only mere inches apart. Eren was going on about the
supposedly amazing hot chocolate that would be available tomorrow and on for
two months. Levi had guessed that it was for the holidays that were quickly
approaching.
His gunmetal eyes kept instinctively looking at Eren's lips as they moved. The
fuzz in the back of his head that reminded him that Mikasa had gotten to kiss
him before he had was the only thing he heard before he moved forward. Eren
shut up instantly as he closed his eyes and savored the moment. He could still
taste the coffee cake on Levi's lips that he had eaten a few hours ago. The
raven pulled back. A blush had taken over his cheeks and even climbed to his
ears. "I love you." And with those word Levi drifted to sleep in Eren's arms.
The brunette was stunned into silence. Never had those words been said so
openly and sincere at him. Sure he and Levi had exchanged 'I love yous' only a
few minutes before, but this one sounded much more sincere. A smile formed on
his lips as he followed in Levi's steps. He pulled Levi closer and felt sleep
wash over him.
~
"Hey Levi." Eren's voice woke Levi from his light sleep. "Yeah?" His own voice
was heavy with sleep. "What do you want Er-" Eren cut him off with a kiss that
quickly became heated. Eren's tongue swiped along Levi's bottom lip. The raven,
barely knowing what he was doing, opened his mouth. Eren moved his body so he
hovered over Levi's body. His knees were on either side of the raven and hands
holding Levi's hands down.
Levi felt the growing heat in his stomach as he quickly became hard. 'Oh shit,
where is this going?' Was a fleeting thought as Eren peppered light kisses on
the pale jaw. Levi held back his moan as Eren settled at his neck. Switching
between kissing, sucking, and lightly nipping at the skin. Hickies formed as
Eren moved down, his main focus on his pale collar bone.
Eren's hands let go of his wrists for a split second to pull the long sleeve
shirt that was covering his torso. Levi didn't even bother to think of the
light bruises that seemed to never fade as Eren gazed down at him. His eyes
seemed to be shinning in the dark room. Eren moved his body further south as he
pepper kisses down Levi's exposed chest and stomach. The raven arched into the
touch and whimpered when it came to an end. A strained 'Eren' voicing his want.
"Now now, no need to be so greedy. You'll get what you want soon enough."
Eren's voice taunted him. The brunette pressed a hand to Levi's clothed
erection pulling a moan from the younger teen. Levi's pajama pants soon
followed in the steps of his shirt: thrown across the room. As Levi took a
minute to get used to the feeling of the frigged air, Eren took off his own
shirt letting his toned and tanned chest be seen to Levi's eyes only.
Thin pale fingers mapped Eren's chest. The brunette shifted down before looking
at Levi in the eyes. Even without speaking Levi knew what he was asking. "Yeah,
go ahead." Eren smiled and gave a short peck to the inside of Levi's thigh. He
quickly lubed up his fingers with his own saliva and got to work.
Levi gripped onto Eren's shoulders and pulled him into a kiss. Levi melted into
the mattress below him as Eren got passed the tight ring of muscle. It was
uncomfortable but a welcomed feeling. He knew it would feel good soon, and even
better because of Eren. But what he didn't expect, was the sudden explosion of
pleasure from only two of Eren's fingers. The brunette smirked into the kiss
and pressed harder on the bundle of nerves. Levi let forth an orchestra of
moans. The pleasure rolling through him. He didn't notice the third finger
slipping in.
Levi whimpered as Eren pulled his fingers out. "Eren~" His whining was quickly
replaced with a high pitched moan as his fingers were replaced with something
much long, and thicker. Eren gave the smaller of the two time to adjust. A deep
chuckle sounding from his throat as a fountain of 'oh fucks', 'holy shit',
'what is this even', 'oh', and of course 'fuck me'. Levi gave a quick nod and a
faint smile to let Eren know he could begin moving.
..::::..
"Levi." Eren's soft whisper entered his head like he was somewhere else. "Levi.
You gotta get up, we can't be late for breakfast again." Why the hell was Eren
talking about breakfast in the middle of making love? "Gosh darn it, you little
marshmallow." "Eren?" Levi whined once more before opening his eyes to a
brightly lit white room. "And he rises!" Eren smiled widely at Levi as his mind
raced. 'Oh fuck.'
Chapter End Notes
     First time writing consensual smut. Hope I did well. Tell me if I did
     well, or if I completely bombed it and destroyed all hope for you in
     my writing skills. Not to mention that it's late so oops?
     Since a few people have commented about Armin and who he is going to
     be in a relationship with I'm not sure how I'm going to figure this
     one out. Because I didn't plan on Armin being in any 'one'
     relationship. I see him floating around taking what he wants in this
     fic. There's a 90% chance that I will post other fics of Armin and
     Erwin or Armin and Jean with completely different aus and such, but
     that will take ideas so if you're interested in that you know, help.
     Anyway, thanks for reading. Have a wonderful day/night, it's night
     here so, ❤
***** Chapter 22 *****
Chapter Summary
     My poor sun child Jean and his memories of Marco. -short chapter-
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"Hey Marco, hand me that screw driver." A young teen muttered as he hunched
over the bookcase on the floor. "Here you go, Jean. How much longer now?" The
fourteen year old brunette smiled handing over the tool. "Uh, just a few more
minutes?" Jean replied in an unsure tone. "You said that half and hour ago,
silly." Marco chuckled pulling his knees to his chest. "Yeah I know. Just hold
on, freckles." Jean said tightening the screws in the shelf.
-
"Jean!" Marco called out running down the street with his hands waving in the
air. A sheet of paper in his right hand. "Marco?" Jean turned around from
watering the plants outside the florist to see Marco just before he jumped on
him. "Whoa! Freckles? What happened?" Jean said, his brow creased in worry.
"Don't look like that sugar cube, I passed!" Marco's smile reach from ear to
ear, his eyes shining with joy. "What? Are you serious? That's amazing!" Jean
wrapped his arms around Marco's waist and spun around. "Yeah! I'm getting into
the college of my dreams. Jean you know what this means? I can finally move
out." Marco wrapped his arms tightly around Jean's neck, his tears of pure joy
soaking into Jean's collar.
~
"How are his vitals?" Hanji asked entering the room. Her hands shaking lightly
as she settled herself against the bed frame. "His heart is in perfect
condition. We've managed to restore his face mostly to the way it was before,
but he'll have some scaring around his nose and above his brow bone. Other than
that, he's perfectly fine." A nurse answered. "Then why hasn't he woken up?"
Hanji looked over Jean, the boy seemed to be in a peaceful sleep. The corners
of his mouth were drawn up slightly in a small smile. "Alright, there's nothing
we can do now till he wakes up. We'll check on his every hour." The nurse said
leading Hanji out. "Alright." 'Sweet dreams Kirstein.'
~
"Why the fuck do none of them have other tabs open?" Jean growled at the large
television. Marco chuckled as he snuggled into the more muscular boy's side.
"Do these people not text? No phone calls? Who the hell only talks over skype?"
Jean ranted as the movie "Megan is Missing" played. "Jean, calm down. It's just
a movie." Marco chuckled, intertwining his legs with Jean's. "Yeah, whatever.
It's still shit."
-
Marco sat on the kitchen counter, his lips locked with Jean's who stood
directly in front of him. "I love mornings." Marco mumbled when the two parted
for air. "Same." Jean chuckled going in for another prolonged kiss. Marco
happily wrapped his arms around Jean's neck and pulled him closer.
-
Jean's laughter was drowned out by Marco's singing as the pair drove down the
long country road. The freckled brunette was singing along to the radio, his
voice much louder and over the top. "Baby can't you see, I'm fallin'." Marco
rolled his shoulders as he looked at Jean with a fake lustful gaze. The other
laughed loudly as Marco continued his over the top dances. "I love y-" The car
rolled.
~
"Marco?" Jean's hoarse whisper tore through the silence of the white room. The
faint beeping of the heart monitor sounded hazy. Like it wasn't even there. All
Jean could hear was the present laughter of Marco, his one and only love.
Chapter End Notes
     My ending notes will be at the end of the Christmas Special.
     Thanks for reading, feedback is much appreciated.
***** Chapter 23 *****
Chapter Summary
     Levi asks Hanji about sex and may our beautiful savoir always save
     the day.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Although Levi felt awkward every time he looked at Eren directly, he got
through the day. He kept up his usual behavior, but he knew that Eren could
tell something was wrong with him. The group of patients left the group room.
Today was another round of talking about a certain emotion and how it affected
them personally. Eren could barely concentrate on what Mrs. Aberline was saying
as his attention was strictly on if Levi was okay. Had he done something wrong?
Did last night frighten him? Eren didn't know, but he was sure to find out.
~
The pair was currently sat in the reading section, reading of course. Levi was
leaning against Eren's just like they had when Eren spilled his past. Levi
continued reading 'Carry On' while Eren was reading 'Gone Girl'. The silence
was thick, the only sound was the clanging of the dish washers in the kitchen
around the bend of the room.
Levi was unable to concentrate on his book. The never dying need to tell
someone about his dream was killing him. But he couldn't. Hanji is busy with
only the lord knows what. Erwin has a whole facility to run, he wouldn't have
the time to listen to his stupid love life. And he doesn't have any real
emotional connection to anyone besides Eren, who incidentally is the subject of
his problem. While focusing on his thoughts Levi hadn't noticed that he's begun
repeatedly tapping his forehead with the book.
"Levi, is something wrong?" Eren asked holding the book away from his face. The
ravenette put on a smile and replied with a soft no. Eren looked at him for a
few more seconds before going back to his book. Levi hated himself for lying to
Eren. He knew how Eren hated liars. But he just felt too embarrassed to speak
about this with Eren. With a few more minutes of thinking, Levi decided to wait
till his next one-on-one session with Hanji.
~
Hanji leaned back in her chair. Her head pounding. "Fucking hell." She mumbled
opening her desk drawer to a bottle of heavy head ache medication. "Whoa there
Hanji. You aren't a horse. Get some sleep instead of taking that." Erwin
chuckled as he entered Hanji's office. "Nah, I still got three reports to fill
in. Speaking of reports, I completely updated Eren and Levi's, including the
information from today's group. From the data we have, they're both in great
mental shape. Levi has his slight depression still and the usual triggers for
Eren are losing their effectiveness. He didn't even flinch at the use of 'Eren,
honey', and 'this will just be a little pinch'. He still can't stand the phrase
'be a good boy' though." Hanji said perking up, grabbing the finished file and
reading off some information to Erwin.
"That's good. I think Levi's going to be a rather quick turn around. We'll just
have to get him ready for the outside world." Erwin said with a worried
expression. "That's sure to bring him down again. Let's wait till he thinks
he's fine." Hanji spoke pouring herself a cup of coffee. Her hands shaking
slightly. "I'll do it. Be careful Hanji, you're still recovering." Erwin said
taking the cup and pot from the brunette. "Rude, I can still do things like
pour myself a cup of coffee." Hanji huffed. "You really shouldn't be drinking
coffee, what you need is a nap." Erwin said pouring the small amount Hanji had
in her own cup back into the coffee pot.
"Like I said, I have too much to do." Hanji said massaging her temples. "Don't
stress yourself Hanji." Erwin spoke softly. His tone holding a slight somber
tone to it. "I know, it's just so much to do." Hanji muttered. "I'll ask the
board for an increase in the budget so we can afford more assistants?" Erwin
said ending in a question. "That would be nice. But I really don't want anyone
to have to live here like everyone else. It's almost like a prison." Hanji
chuckled to herself looking out the small sliver of a window that went around
the top foot of her walls. Giving her a good view of the flowers there as well
as the grass.
"I would personally work it so they come in twice a week and do reports, file
things, make coffee even. Things like that." Erwin offered looking the windows
as well. "That could work, but it's not up to me. It's up to you eyebrows."
Hanji giggled at the nickname. Erwin groaned. "Alright Hanji. Get some sleep."
Erwin said leaving the room. Hanji merely grunted as a departing word.
~Four Days Later~
Levi and Eren haven't been talking, merely being in each others presence. Levi
felt the worry start to crush him. Eren had stopped playing the piano on the
second day and wore a look of exhaustion. The bags under his eyes sucked the
bright green from his eyes. He was just deflated. Every time he tried to speak
to Levi, the raven would somehow shut down the conversation.
Levi was glad that the torture would soon end as today was his one-on-one
session with Hanji. He woke up earlier than normal, having another dream about
Eren which he quickly forgot, took a shower in record time, got dressed while
brushing his teeth, and entered the main room whilst thinking over how he would
speak about his problems. He didn't even notice that Eren was already awake and
watching as Levi hurried about with a soft smile on his tired face.
An hour later, Levi was seriously regretting getting up early. He had nothing
to do besides read and he was cold. The blankets were just like adding a layer
of ice to him. He wanted to curl up next to Eren as he played the piano. He
missed the sound of Eren lightly humming the words to some of the songs he
played. Only Levi knew that he did that, being the only person close enough
usually to hear them over the music. Finally, after thinking he might go
insane. Eren entered the main room. The others arrived in pairs or trios
minutes after Eren.
The brunet smiled calmly and approached Levi. Eren knew that Levi was cold, he
always told him about how every night he had to curl up with Isabel to sleep
through the night with warmth. Levi didn't even have to ask before Eren was
engulfing him in a hug. The warmth was heavenly to the cold he was surviving
seconds ago. "So why were you up so early this morning?" Eren asked grabbing a
book from the coffee table. "I finally get to talk with Hanji." Levi answered.
The two got into their cuddling positions: Eren pressed against the back of the
sofa with Levi against his chest. Eren held his book open with one hand that
was extended under Levi's head, his other arm wrapped tightly around Levi's
waist. Levi held the paper back book close to him as his head rested on Eren's
arm and legs intertwined with the others. They laid there, silent.
-
Levi finally noticed Eren was asleep when Eren's book fell to the floor. Armin
looked horrified, offended, and betrayed when it hit the floor. Levi apologizes
quietly before picking the book up. Once the book was safe back on the coffee
table, Levi got back to reading. But he couldn't. The story now seemed boring.
All interest he held in the adventure of some boy and his best friend in a
magical world was gone the second the book hit the floor. So he placed it back
on the table and pushed himself against Eren. The warmth was pulling him
towards sleep. Just a little nap couldn't hurt, right?
-
Eren woke up an hour later, just as breakfast was closing. He winces as he
heard the last tray be taken away. "God damn it." He mumbled with a sigh.
"Don't worry, I saved you and short stuff both a juice box." Ymir smirked
tossing the two boxes at Eren. Despite having one arm pinned against the couch,
Eren caught them both. He thanked Ymir and opened his. 'Hmm, apple.' He thought
sipping the cold juice. The sugar would help him through till lunch. Eren
wanted to wake Levi so he could also drink but he also wanted Levi to get his
rest. He had also noticed the dark bags under his eyes darken over the past
four days. When he had finished the last of his juice, he set the empty box
next to Levi's on the coffee table. He wedged himself back into his position
completely before simply messing with Levi's soft black hair.
-
An hour later Levi finally woke up to Hanji's soft voice. "Come on kiddo, we
have a session together." She smiled at the boy before helping him up. "Thank
you Eren for not waking him." Hanji said as the taller boy finally got blood
rushing to his right arm. "Yeah, no problem. I noticed he was missing on some
sleep so I thought he could use it." Eren smiled brightly, like the past four
days haven't robbed him of his own sleep. "Thanks again, I'll get to the bottom
of this in the session." Hanji said carrying the still out of it Levi to the
one-on-one rooms down the hall.
Levi's was very soft. Light colors, comfortable chairs, and soft artificial
natural light to give the room a sense of warmth. Levi hated the cold. "So,
pumpkin. What's been going on with you? I noticed that you've more quiet than
usual." Hanji said sitting down. Levi adjusted himself in the large light grey
chair before speaking. "Alright, I had a really weird dream and I can't get
over it." Levi said nervously. His eyes focused on his nails. "Describe the
dream?" Hanji seemed interested, very interested. "Um well. I was, uh, doing
something with Eren." Levi stuttered. 'why can't I just say it?' Levi felt a
blush grow on his face and climb his ears. "Could you elaborate?" Hanji asked
jotting down some notes.
"We were having se- I can't say it, it's too embarrassing." Levi squeaked
slapping his hands to his face. The cold they held was a stark contrast to the
heat of his blushing face. "Oh pumpkin, did you have a 'wet dream' about you
and Eren?" Hanji asked calmly. Levi could only nod. "So why is this bothering
you?" Hanji asked leaning back. "I never had one of them before. Sure I've
crushed on some celebrities, but this is different. It feels different." Levi
said feeling his heart skip a beat as he thought about Eren. "I think you're in
love." Hanji grinned. "What? Yeah, I know that but what about that? Why do I
want to do that with him? After what he did." Levi asked flailing his arms
slightly before settling into a statue like stillness.
"Levi, what he did was unacceptable. That was not what you want to do with
Eren. What you want to do with Eren is love making. A completely different
thing to the trauma you went through." Hanji said firmly. "But-" "No buts,
making love is what two people in love do. It's not bad in anyway" Hanji smiled
as Levi's blush grew. "Okay, I understand." Levi said looking up at Hanji.
"Good, no love making yet though. There are a few things you'll need, and know,
before you do that and I highly doubt that Erwin will allow two patients to do
the do." Hanji said with a light chuckle. Levi giggled along with Hanji. "After
I speak with Erwin about this, I'll sit you and Eren down separately or
together and talk, alright?" Hanji smiled as Levi nodded. "Good, we still have
twenty minutes to go. What would you like to talk about, kiddo?" Hanji leaned
forward as Levi went on about 'Carry On', she took a note to grab a copy
herself.
~
Levi felt his heart become lighter almost instantly after speaking about the
dream with Hanji. What Kenny did to him was not what he wanted to do with Eren.
With Eren, it would be making love. A completely different thing.
Chapter End Notes
     My ending notes will be at the end of the Christmas Special.
     Thanks for reading, feedback is much appreciated.
***** Chapter 24 *****
Chapter Summary
     Jean's getting better, physically and emotionally. And the sexual
     tension between Eren and Levi is getting really sad.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Hanji smiled as she entered Jean's room. The teen had woken up yesterday but
was still out of it physically. Today he was begging to be released just so he
could move around. "Hey Jean!" Hanji greeted the teen with a wave and smile.
Her shaking hand held onto the clipboard as she leaned against the foot of his
bed.
"Hey Ms. Zoe." Jean greeted messing with his nails. In his sleep a nurse had
cut and filed them. "Call me Hanji, sport." Hanji smiled smacking his foot
playfully. "Ms-, Hanji, can you do that again?" Jean's voice quivered. "Uh,
sure." Hanji smacked at the limb with the back of her hand. Her face pulled
into an expression of worry. "I, I can't feel my legs." Jean whispered. His
eyes widened to the point of saucers. "Now Jean I need you to calm down." Hanji
said rushing to his side. Her hands were instantly on the teen's shoulders.
"Hanji, I can't feel my legs." Tears sprung to his eyes as he desperately tried
to move his legs. "Hanji!" Jean grabbed onto Hanji's sweater, his blunt nails
digging into the fabric. "Shh, don't worry sugar plum, let's get the doctor in
here." Hanji pressed the emergency button as she softly stroked Jean's hair.
The bottom layer was averagely soft, the top however felt like heaven.
Hanji gladly moved her hands through it to calm the teen. The action seemed to
work well enough as the gross sobs calmed to sniffles. A doctor rushed in, his
hair pushed back and glasses barely hanging on at the tip of his nose. "Yes?
What seems to be the problem?" He questioned, out of breath. "I can't feel my
legs." Jean spoke a bit hesitantly.
"Oh dear." The man rushed to Jean's side and pulled back the covers. Jean's
legs were pale and thin from the extended period on liquid food only. "From
what point can't you feel them?" The doctor asked slipping on some gloves. "My
mid thigh." Jean answered, his voice shaking. "Alright." He mumbled and began
to feel around the leg. His fingers dug into the muscle feeling for anything
out of place.
"Wait hold on." Jean sat deathly still. The doctor pulled away. "I feel them
now, they're tingly and heavy though." Jean mumbled. The doctor let out a bark
of laughter before smiling at the boy. "Your legs are fine, they've been asleep
for so long you couldn't feel them at all." He explained. Hanji joined in on
the laughter, Jean following seconds after.
"For I moment there I thought Yeager had broken me too bad." Jean smiled
releasing his hold on Hanji's sweater. The two adults flinched at Jean's
mention of Eren's last name. Jean usually gets worked up even at the mention of
the other male's name. But surprisingly, Jean remained in his humorous state.
"Alright sugar plum, how are you feeling? Emotionally wise?" Jean was always an
upfront kind of person, telling all, straight forward. "Uh, really calm
actually." Jean answered with a furrowed brow.
"Why does that confuse you?" Hanji asked leaning on the bed frame. "Because I
just thought that I lost my legs for good and I could say Yeager's name without
wanting to bash something in." Jean stated with a questioning tone to his
voice. "Alright Jean, you'll stay here for the next twelve hours for physical
evaluation. After that you'll be able to visit the others." Hanji said standing
straight and writing quickly on the clip board.
Jean nodded, his hands twitching to do something. "I'll get a nurse to bring
you some things late on, have a good day sugar sweet!" Hanji said exiting the
room with a smile. Jean smiled at the woman as she raced down the hallway.
'Let's have a good day Marco.' Jean smiled to himself as he couldn't see Marco
anywhere.
~
Eren laid passed out on Levi's bed. After a rather vigorous session with Erwin,
Eren was ready to pass out. While on the way to his bed, Levi's was a lot
closer, and Levi wasn't currently using it, so what's the harm? The harm is now
the short raven haired male is stuck with a taller, heavier, and over all just
bigger person laying in his bed. Now Levi could just sleep in Eren's bed, but
no, that mattress had nearly ten different board games on it. And Levi, being
the absolutely most graceful person in the world, didn't trust himself enough
to move them all without waking Eren. So the raven haired teen just stood at
the end of his bed staring at Eren as he slept.
With a sudden burst of confidence, Levi climbed into bed. His small frame fit
against Eren's chest easily. Eren instinctively wrapped an arm around Levi's
waist, like he was holding a teddy bear, and pulled the smaller male closer.
Levi yelped at the sudden movement, but quickly relaxed into the warmth Eren
provided. Their legs intertwined and Levi wanted to just be closer. So he
shuffled back, pressing not only his back but his behind into Eren.
The brunet woke up slowly, his mind hazy but quickly becoming clear. Levi
whined to himself as he pushing further into him. Eren responded by tightening
his hold on the male, dropping his head into the crook of his neck, and moving
his hips in sync with Levi's. Taking a deep breath of his scent he happily let
Levi nestle into him. Until he realized that they were grinding on each other.
'Oh shit'
With a sudden realization, he pulled his head and hips back to look at the
smaller male with wide eyes. Levi noticed the lack of warmth near his head and
look back to see the brunet looking near terrified. Guilt washed over him. "I,
uh, I'm sorry." He whispered, putting his hands in his lap. He noticed he had
also become aroused. "Wait, why are you apologizing? You didn't do anything
wrong." Eren looked at him confused before noticing the small bulge in Levi's
pajama pants. "Oh dear." Eren mumbled.
A few moments passed. The tension in the air was physical. Levi could feel it
try to strangle him. 'Why the hell did I do that. He probably thinks I'm
stupid.' Levi felt his self esteem fall with each passing thought. Eren on the
other hand was freaking out for Levi. 'Oh man, is Levi okay? I don't know what
he's comfortable with. Should I ask? What if something sexual put him here.
Then he would rather abstain from anything sexual, right? I have no idea.' Eren
felt the weight of worrying start to crush him.
Deciding that nothing was getting done just thinking, they both opened their
mouths to speak. "Oh sorry." They said in accidental unison. The pair awkwardly
laughed as the other waited for the other to speak. "You first." They said,
once more in unison. "Eren." "Levi." They were both getting annoyed, Levi
showing it more than Eren. "Levi." Eren said, Levi holding his tongue this
time.
"Yes?" Levi replied nervously, the strain of his erection making critical
thinking difficult. "Are you okay? Are you fine with what kinda happened?" Eren
sounded so god damn worried for the smaller male, it almost made him want to
cry. But of course he didn't. He simply nodded, his throat too clenched to
comfortably speak. "You sure? Cause I can sleep in my own bed, sorry for taking
over yours." Eren said nodding at his own bed, which was still covered in
games.
"No, it's fine." Levi's voice sounded way more strained than what either of
them were prepared for. "So I can continue?" Eren asked leaning forward slowly.
Levi nodded, meeting the teen part way. Their lips gently collided. Eren tasted
the coffee cake still on Levi's lips. Levi tasted the minty toothpaste Eren had
brushed with. They both felt the world bow at their feet as they opened up new
doors.
Chapter End Notes
     My ending notes will be at the end of the Christmas Special.
     Thanks for reading, feedback is much appreciated.
***** Halloween Special- that is late as hella *****
Chapter Summary
     Halloween special! Which so late it's not even funny.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"What are these?" Armin, Levi, and Annie asked looking at the varying array of
costumes. They looked old, the color in the fabric faded, but repaired by
skilled and unskilled hands. "I felt that we needed to start celebrating
Halloween!" Hanji said with increasing enthusiasm. "Y-You mean the holiday
where traditionally people would wear costumes to repel ghosts and other evil
spirits, as well as light bon fires?" Armin said with a growing smile.
"Yeah, you got it buddy." Hanji spoke as gave Armin a pat on the back. "I was
never allowed to participate in Halloween events. The church called it a
devil's holiday." Armin bounced as he analyzed the costumes. Levi got on his
knees and began to look through the many clothes. Annie seemed a little more
hesitant. Her tanned hands shakily moving a wrestling mask out of the way. It
reminded her of an opponent.
The blonde quickly found an Ice Queen costume and happily slipped the long gown
over her uniform. The dress, although stiff, twirled as she spun. A small smile
grew on her constant frowning lips. Armin giggled to himself as he found the
perfect costume. He pulled the upper body of the muscle suit over his head and
followed with the bottom. The other pieces of the costume were sewn on the
muscle suit.
He looked down at himself and 'flexed'. "Hey Reiner! I almost have bigger
muscles than you." Armin giggled. The large male looked over at the boy who
dressed as his childhood hero. "You look a lot like him actually." Reiner
laughed as Armin looked at him with the strangest look of admiration. The
smaller teen scampered off to enjoy his costume.
Levi on the complete other hand, could not find himself a costume he liked, and
could fit his small stature. Eren had joined him in the searching for a
costume. The brunet smiled to himself once he found dark blue scrubs and a
stethoscope. He carefully slipped the extra layer of clothes over his uniform
and slung the stethoscope over the back of his neck. He looked down at himself
and smiled. "Hey Levi, look." Eren said holding up another nurse outfit, but
this time it was obviously one of the sexual female ones. "Oh hell no." Levi
snapped, ignoring the adorable pout Eren was sporting.
"Please, just try it on." Eren whined. He pulled a puppy face as he inched
closer to Levi who was frantically searching for something to distract the
brunet with. He turned to his right to see Eren right against him, his eyes
were large and fake tears were on the brim of falling. "Pumpkin, sweetie pie,
sugar plum, please?" Eren sounded so pitiful Levi couldn't stand it. "Fine."
Levi snatched the outfit out of Eren's hands with a sigh.
He slipped it over his clothes and felt awkward in the short dress, even if his
legs were completely covered. "You look adorable." Eren smiled, any trace of
the forced sadness gone. "Yeah, whatever." Levi puffed out his cheeks as he
felt them get warm. 'Stupid Eren and his stupid puppy dog eyes.' He thought
crossing his arms.
There was a short second where Levi continued his thoughts till he was
enveloped in warmth and plucked off the ground. He gripped onto Eren shoulders,
short swear falling from his mouth till he realized what happened. "Eren, why
did you pick me up?" Levi asked with a faint blush. "Because you're god damn
adorable." Eren answered with no hesitation. "Shut up." Levi pecked Eren's
cheek before getting his way out of Eren's arms, although he regretted losing
the warmth, he was happy to see the dopey smile on Eren's face.
-
"Okie Dokie, we'll be decorating cookies for our Halloween activity!" The head
chef, Ms. Homes, spoke with a smile. Her large figure shuffling through the the
tables to set down the freshly cooled cookies. Eren and Levi sat next to
Reiner, Ymir, and Historia. The group of five was soon joined by Bertolt.
"You can do any design you want, just try to keep it within the theme of
Halloween. Don't eat all the decorations or the icing. If you just want to eat
cookies then I, or one of the cooks, will bring you a plate. Decorate as many
as your want as long as those at your table agree." Ms. Homes explained with a
smile before leaving the group of patients to continue with the activity.
Nurses, doctors, and a few guards still stood near the group in the dinning
area though.
"So Yeager, what are you going to do?" Ymir asked smearing bright orange icing
on her sugar cookie. "I'm thinking a vampire, what about you Levi?" The table
directed their sight to see the small teen piping a shape onto the cookie with
the background already placed. "Holy shit, he works quick." Ymir mumbled. Eren
smiled fondly at the teen before getting started.
Historia smeared the same bright orange on her cookie before piping darker
lines curving outwards on top. She carefully piped a brown stem at the top. She
smiled at the well made pumpkin before her but it needed something that said
'Historia made this'. She mixed the pure white with a bit of tan to make a
pearly color, she also mixed a varying color of light pink and pastel green.
She piped vines wrapping around the pumpkin with thin off curls every so often.
She then piped small pink dots followed by the pearly white. The pink and pearl
mixed slightly creating a faded effect in the icing. The small flowers were
adorable on the pumpkin. Historia smiled widely at her accomplishment before
showing Ymir. The tanned female happily complimented her before giving the
blonde a light kiss on the forehead.
Ymir on the other hand wasn't as delicate when it came to her cookie. After the
bright orange, she tried to follow Historia's steps and make it a pumpkin, but
sadly, with her shaky hands, the 'pumpkin' turn out more like a squash, that
had been squashed. With a sigh she grabbed the red and started going to town.
When she felt it was complete the squashed squash looked more like a caved in
head than anything else, so Ymir ran with it.
She added beady eyes, a jagged smile, and a poor excuse for a nose. She laughed
at the expression her poor victim was making before realizing the violent
behavior. She quickly erased her thoughts and filled them with her anchor,
Historia. She smiled softly and continued to contently make several more
cookies, one with increasingly less violence.
Reiner was having a blast making different stereotypical monsters. Zombie?
Check. Werewolf? Done poorly, but check. Witch? Done ever worse than the
werewolf, but it was done. He was just in a hurry to compare his vampire to
Eren's.
Bertolt calmly, and carefully, made a young boy. He mixed colors and piped them
onto the cookie, narrowing his eyes and furrowing his brow in concentration.
The tip of his tongue stuck out as he piped the final and most crucial detail.
The lightening scar. He had been reading the Harry Potter series, one he had
never even heard of, and he was obsessed with it.
Bertolt sat up straight and looked down at the cookie. It was as good as it's
gong to get. "Reiner." Berty mumbled lightly tapping the side of Reiner. The
blonde turned and looked at the heavily detailed cookie. "Berty! My man, this
is amazing!" Reiner smiled, giving the brunet a thumbs up and quick pat on the
back. Bertolt blush but thanked the male.
Eren made a pleased noise once he finished the final out line of the cookie. He
sat up straight and looked for any mistakes. Fortunately, he couldn't see any.
With a smile on his face he showed the cookie to his lover. "Levi, look." Levi
took his attention away from his own to see what Ere had accomplished. He
expected something amazing, but what he got was much more than that.
A vampire was in the center of the cookie, looking over his shoulder. Levi
could see the subtle shading to bring out the vampire's cheekbones when he
studied it close enough. The had had black hair styled in an undercut, and
piercing soft blue eyes. Wait a moment.
"Eren, do you model this after me?" Levi asked with a stoic expression but it
quickly faded as the blush grew. "I mean, you do look like a vampire." Historia
said from the other side of the table, watching the exchange go down. "Hey!"
Levi turned to her, his voice slightly louder than it was before. Ymir clenched
her jaw but merely wrapped her arm around Historia's waist.
"You're pale as fuck bro, the black hair and grey eyes aren't helping you any."
Ymir spoke next. "They're blue." Eren informed with a raised finger. "Of course
you would know, Yeager. You spend so much time looking at them." Reiner laughed
as he gave a few hefty pats to Eren's back. "Thanks buddy." Eren said coughing
away his pain.
A few minutes passed and the group settled into a comfortable silence. The only
sound was the asking for others to pass certain things and the mixing of
icings. Levi hummed to himself as he finished off the detailing of the cookie.
He smiled slightly before noticing Eren's gaze on him. No, not on him, but the
piece of edible art before him. "Levi, is that?" Eren asked in a hushed
whisper. "Yes it is." Levi replied looking at the cookie. "It's beautiful."
Eren spoke softly. His eyes were shining. Levi sucked in a breath before
looking somewhere else. Eren's face when he was in awe was too perfect.
Chapter End Notes
     My ending notes will at the end of the Christmas Special.
     Thanks for reading, feedback is always appreciated.
***** Thanksgiving Special *****
Chapter Summary
     Thanksgiving Special. Our slightly broken child
Levi awoke to the sound of Eren getting ready. His footsteps, usually quiet,
were loud and quick, like he was running back and forth. "Eren?" Levi asked
sitting up. His sleeping habits, although still unhealthy, were getting better.
"Yeah baby cakes?" Eren asked as his toothbrush hung out of his mouth. "Why are
you buzzing about?" Levi questioned rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the
balls of his wrists. "It's thanksgiving Levi. Have you not been keeping track?
It's the wonderful day of food!" Eren laughed as he spun around. "You dork."
Levi giggled getting up.
He left Eren to dance around in their shared room to take a shower, in their
also shared bathroom. They had gotten into a well flowing system so nothing
awkward happened during their first week. Levi was usually the first to bed,
first to rise but on some days Eren would suddenly be up before him. Levi
rolled his eyes as he heard Eren's yelp and the thud as he hit the ground. An
'I'm okay' followed a few seconds after. Levi let a smile slip before starting
the shower. He slipped off his over sized pajama shirt, shorts and his
underwear before entering the warm water.
He quickly washed the night's dirt and filth away from his body before washing
his hair and face. Once his body smelt like strawberry, he exited the shower.
He pat dried himself with the hanging white towel before wrapping the towel
around his upper waist. He left the bathroom and got dressed. Eren was no where
to be seen, most likely meeting up with someone or getting to breakfast first.
Levi slipped the soft cotton pajama like pants on after his underwear. He
wished he could wear something other than pajamas all the time. He shrugged the
long sleeve shirt on and finally grabbing one of the facility provided hoodies,
it was Eren's obviously.
The ravenette left the room and headed to the main room, not expecting what was
coming. Once he stepped it the walls had turkey decals on them. Words such as
'What are you thankful for?', 'Happy Thanksgiving', and the most important
'Gobble Gobble'. Levi continued to look at the different decorations. Strings
ran from different wall panels with construction paper foods on them. The
pillows were replaced with brown, red, orange, and yellow pillows. The blankets
now checkered the same colors, some having large turkeys on them. Levi smiled
at the amount of effort put into the decor. He had a feeling that Hanji was the
driving force behind it.
He quickly found Eren standing in line for breakfast. He joined him, Eren being
the last made that no problem. "Hey Levi." Eren smiled grabbing two trays, one
for each of them. Levi greeted and thanked him. "I wonder what they'll have for
Thanksgiving breakfast?" Levi mumbled before seeing the different meals
provided. Pumpkin cinnamon rolls with vanilla frosting, almond pancakes with
bananas and syrup, egg, bacon, and spinach stuffed bell peppers, and finally
omelettes. And another drink was added to the mix, pumpkin spice lattes.
Levi grabbed the almond pancakes and pumpkin spice latte. Eren grabbed the
stuffed peppers and apple juice. The pair then sat at the table with Ymir and
Reiner.
"Hey Yeager, Shorty. How's it going?" Ymir smirked at them. "We're doing pretty
good, how's your unquenchable thirst for the lady booty going?" Eren replied
picking up a pepper and somehow managing to take a bite without making a mess.
"Nearly at the finish line. Seems like your thirst for the man booty has ended
with good results." Ymir replied taking a large bite of her cinnamon roll.
"Yes very. How about you Reiner. How's your thirst for the booty going?" Eren
asked turning to the laughing teen. "Oh me? Yeah I don't have anyone in mind
like that." Reiner wiped the evidence from his laughter away. "Really? I
thought tree guy and you were gay as fuck for each other." Levi said with a
raised brow. Ymir and Eren both snorted their hands flying up to prevent foods
from escaping their mouths. "Levi?!" Eren squawked with wide eyes.
"Oh, uh, um, I plead the fifth." Reiner says with light blush. Ymir and Eren
chuckled at the cute display. The big tough guy Reiner was really a big softy
when it came to love. "Hello Ymir, Eren, Levi, Reiner." Historia smiled sweetly
as she sat down with her meal in hand. Levi felt his anxiety grow as Historia
joined the party. A warm hand encased his own. He looked up to see Eren smiling
at him. "Don't worry, of those here they're the most kind. Ymir just has a
crude sense of humor." Eren said softly. Levi nodded back and turned to look at
the group. He focused on the conversation as he ate his breakfast.
-
After breakfast everyone had gone back into the main room. Eren and Levi were
once again in the art section with Historia and Ymir. Reiner was in a session
and the others were around the room. Sasha's begs for food were a background
noise as the four of them spoke to each other. Ymir and Eren spoke about art .
Historia and Levi spoke about history. A strange thing they had in common.
"Honestly, I think Batman isn't as cool as he thinks he is." Ymir said as she
began to draw. Their conversation had switched to comics and superheros.
Something that Eren had spent his little free time as a child obsessing over.
"He's pretty cool. Sure he doesn't have superpowers but he's cool in his own
sense of justice." Eren replied tweaking the facial expression of the woman he
was drawing. "But he's literally just a billionaire who dresses up and fights a
mentally unstable clown. What's cool about that?" Ymir shot back. "What's cool
about a teenager who shoots a white wet sticky rope out of himself and leaves
it all over the city of New York?" Eren snapped.
"Oh you did not just attack Spiderman!" Ymir spoke with a deathly chill. Her
glare sharp and threatening. "Yeah, Batman is a cool ass billionaire who takes
on a master mind villain along with others while Spiderman is just a teen who
get bit by a bug." Eren said dropping his pencil to rapidly stand up, Ymir
following him.
"Ymir, sit down." "Eren, sit down." Historia and Levi ordered at the same time.
"Fine. But they started it!" Ymir and Eren spoke in unison pointing their
fingers at the other. "We don't care." The two smaller teen spoke in unison
again, their expression similar as well. The two taller teen sat back down and
sat still, in fear of annoying the two they love.
-
The day passed by rather quickly. Eren spent time with Levi. The two switching
between the reading section and art. Ymir and Historia usually joining them as
well. But now it was finally time for Thanksgiving dinner. The staff had moved
the tables to be in a long formation. A table runner was placed down the middle
and small vases with beautiful flowers of varying reds and oranges were placed
every so often.
Everyone sat down either next to or in front of their best friend or partner.
Levi sat next to Eren who spoke with him about the large family gatherings he
used to have with his family, then he spoke about how every year they would
share what they're thankful for here. Eren warned him to prepare it now so the
whole thing would go smoothly. Levi decided to say Eren, but he was more than
thankful of what the brunet had done for him.
The plates were brought out and set before everyone. Portioned plates of mashed
potatoes, diced turkey, buttery corn, green beans, stuffing, cranberry sauce,
gravy, and rolls were hot and ready to be eaten. But the staff said they had to
say what they were thankful of before they could eat."I'm thankful of this
place for keeping me from hurting my family." Reiner said. "I'm t-thankful for,
uh, Ms. Hanji w-whose helped me a lot." Bertolt stuttered.
"I'm blessed to have a group of wonderful friends who understand what pain is."
Historia smiled. "For my precious angel Historia." Ymir smirked at the blush
Historia showed. "For the chance to care for others and not be a threat to the
public." Connie spoke quietly, his voice much too low for his personality. "For
the control I've gained over the course of this year, and my sugar babe
Connie." Sasha smiled brightly.
"For Marco's memory." Jean said. "For the memory of a loved one." Annie spoke
cryptically. "For the memory of my grandfather, for knowledge of these books,
and chance to survive this world." Armin smiled. "I'm thankful for Levi and the
chance to be normal again." Eren said squeezing Levi's hand under the table.
"I'm thankful for E-Eren, Hanji and Erwin." Levi spoke quietly but loud enough
for everyone to hear. "Alright, let's eat!" The main chef smiled as clapped her
hands together. The group of eleven patients dug into their meals. Giving
compliments every so often.
For the whole meal Eren and Levi held hands under the table. They were thankful
for each other. And nothing would pull them apart.
***** Christmas Special *****
Chapter Summary
     It's Christmas, meaning paper snow flakes made with awful safety
     scissors, terribly annoying carols, and of course holiday spirit!
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"Merry Christmas?" Levi read the banner hanging on the wall in the main room.
Red and green tinsel hung around the doors, windows, and in various spots on
the walls. The dark blankets were replaced with festive colored and themed
ones. Their clothes had also been swapped for ugly Christmas sweaters. Levi
wasn't sure how to feel about this holiday.
"Come on Levi, let's make snowflakes." Eren flashed Levi a smile as he pulled
the shorter male over to the arts and crafts area. Reiner, Ymir and Historia
sat there already. Historia happily coloring in a 'Frozen' coloring book. Ymir
surprisingly doing really well in free hand painting. And Reiner was snipping
away at a folded piece of paper. Eren sat down, Levi following merely seconds
after. Eren grabbed two pairs of 'safety' scissors and handed one pair to Levi.
The music in the background was turned up. The few patients in the main room
could hear the Christmas carols. "God damn it, they're going to fucking play
these for the next month." Ymir growled. Her voice annoyed at the sound of the
well known carol. "Calm down Ymir, your snowman is looking great." Historia
smiled up at the female, her dimples melting away the anger Ymir had. "Thanks,
angel." Ymir calmly went back to painting.
The table sat in silence besides the humming of Eren as he cut precise holes in
the white sheet of paper. Levi, on the other hand, was having a bit more
difficulty making a good cut. Eren was easily cutting out moose shapes and the
large letters of 'Merry Christmas'. "These scissors are shitty. God damn it."
He muttered trying, and failing, to make a snowflake.
Eren's laughter snatched Levi's attention. "Here, hold them like this. You were
putting the pressure in the wrong direction, now it'll focus on the blades
going down and not apart." Levi kept his head down in embarrassment. "Don't
worry shorty, the first month I was here I had held the coloring pencils wrong
so I tore the paper every ten seconds, Eren showed me how to hold it correctly
and how to hold it for different techniques." Ymir told the blushing raven with
a smirk. Her fist leaving the paper to give Eren a fist bump. "Yeah, Eren's
really good at a lot of stuff now that I think about it." Historia said
scrunching her face up in concentration. Ymir blushed at the cute expression,
she then turned away to whisper 'my heart' to herself.
Now it was Eren's turn to be embarrassed. "Hold on there guys, I'm just a
slightly not average kind of guy." Eren's tanned cheeks were dusted with a
light shade of pink. His hand rubbing the back of his neck as well. "Just own
up to it Yeager, you're an amazing guy!" Reiner said loudly, his left hand
giving the brunet a hard pat on the back. "T-Thanks Reiner." Eren stuttered
slightly. The pain in his back was distracting. "No problem Yeager." Reiner
gave the teen a bright smile before going back to his own snowflake. It looked
like Levi's before Eren showed him how to properly hold the sad excuse for
scissors. A mess of paper with holes that were sure to catch on anything, even
the god forbidden air.
A faint smile formed on Levi's lips as he soon produced a somewhat pretty paper
snowflake. "Eren, look." Levi held up the snowflake with a smile and a sparkle
in his eye. Eren turned to look at the snowflake. A dark red blush staining his
cheeks and even reaching his ears. "Do you like it?" Levi asked looking at the
name, 'Eren' cut into it. "It's adorable. Levi you're so great." Eren smiled
brightly as he looked at the snowflake.
"Now I have to make one for you!" Eren said suddenly, his back straightening
and finger held straight in the air. Levi flinch at the sudden movement before
speaking. "No, you don't have to-" "Levi, I gotta." Eren quickly folded a piece
of paper and got to work with the scissors. Levi watched in slight awe as Eren
formed a snowflake within seconds. "Don't look yet." Eren mumbled turning his
body to hide the piece. Levi pouted but got ready to make another.
Thirty snowflakes, three paintings, nine coloring books, and one 'extra'
special snowflake later, the five of them sat back to just talk and listen to
the Christmas carols that still played through the large room. "Eren, come on.
Let me see the thing!" Levi said trying to grab the piece of paper that Eren
held above him. "No, it's stupidly bad." Eren replied moving out of the way of
Levi's hand.
Levi got out of his seat to reach over him. Reiner chuckled and snatched it out
of Eren's hand easily. "Hey!" Eren turned to look at the blonde with a false
look of betrayal. "Reiner." Eren whined trying to grab it from the taller teen.
"Sucks to suck, Yeager." Reiner laughed before handing it to Levi who happily
thanked the other teen.
Levi gently opened the folded paper. Careful of the delicately cut pieces. His
eyes widened at the beauty of it. "Eren." Levi turned to look at the
embarrassed teen. "I know, it's stupid." Eren looked at the ground as his blush
grew. "I love it." Levi looked back at the snowflake, reading the message cut
into it again and again. 'Levi' with 'I love you' beneath it. Around that was a
ring cut in a way to keep the page together but give the sense of separation.
Then was a sea of geometric shapes then finally a ring of lace like cuts. It
was beautiful. Flawless even.
"How in the fucking hell, did you cut this with bullshit safety scissors?" Levi
asked turning to Eren with an expression of confusion with a hint of amazement.
"Witchcraft." Reiner answered. Ymir and Historia looking at the snowflake then
back and forth between Eren and Levi. Historia gaining a look of happiness and
Ymir a look of disgust then a faint look of joy. The two really were great
together.
~
Breakfast was soon called. The usual friday breakfast choices were replaced
with something a little more 'jolly', as Hanji would put it. Red velvet
pancakes with white cream and raspberries, or pancakes, bacon, strawberries,
banana and chocolate all in the combined shape of a reindeer, and snowman
shaped pancakes with bacon scarves and blueberry faces and buttons. The normal
juice drinks were switched with peppermint hot chocolate, eggnog, milk, and
strawberry smoothies with mint. Levi was happy to have the snowman pancakes
with the peppermint hot chocolate.
Levi sat with Eren who also sat with Ymir, Reiner, and Historia. The group of
five spoke about random things. Historia asking about general things like
favorite colors, movies, music, etc. Levi was shy at first but opened up
quickly. Eren smiled at Levi whenever the small teen answered something. It
made him happy that Levi could open up to people.
"So Levi, what's your past with Christmas?" Ymir asked shoveling a pancake into
her mouth. Levi winced at the memory. "My, uh, 'family', didn't really
celebrate Christmas. He thought it was stupid. But I shared gifts with my
sister." Levi said faintly smiling at the thought of his sister.
"What was she like?" Historia asked popping a raspberry into her mouth. "Happy,
hyper, a great artist, and constantly on the move. Isabel was just barely
shorter than me, had red hair with two pigtails, she could never pull a comb
through that mess, and bright green eyes." Levi's smile grew as he described
his little sister.
"How old is she?" Eren asked, he had never heard about Isabel. "She's
fourteen." Levi answered. "Wait, if she has green eyes and red hair, why do you
have black hair and whatever the hell color your eyes are?" Ymir asked
narrowing her eyes. "She was adopted. Well, more like taken off the street. She
was only seven when I found her. She's been my sister ever since." Levi smiled
thinking back to the freezing cold autumn morning he found Isabel sleeping on
his back porch.
"Aw, that's cute." Historia smiled. "What about you? What was Christmas like
for all of you?" Levi asked sipping on his warm drink. "My whole family would
come over to visit. Expensive gifts were given. Lots of them got drunk. A few
fights would happen. By the end of it, I had already snuck out." Historia said,
her tone light.
"My mom would give me a video game. My brother usually never gave me anything.
That's if it went well, which never really happened. It more than often ended
with bloody knuckles and broken noses and jaws." Ymir chuckled at the memories
of getting into fist fights with her brother. "Holy shit." Levi whispered
imagining Ymir kicking ass. "Yeah, it was awesome but I would always regret it
after. After I nearly killed a guy while robbing a place I was sent here.
Reiner, what's up with you?" Ymir asked turning to the male.
"Oh, my family was all over that. We had our place decked out in decorations. I
would help out of course, my dad with also complain about the lack of cookies
even if we had six dozen in a jar. It was really enjoyable. It was nearly the
only time of the year that I wasn't on the verge of yelling at someone." Reiner
sipped his milk finishing his story. "Eren?" Reiner raised an eyebrow at the
brunet.
"We had the usual decorations that me and him put up. I helped my mother bake
things for the large dinner we always had with the other important families of
the neighborhood. And I played piano for the Christmas parties my mother would
throw." Eren's fingers twitched, he wanted to play the piano right now. it was
one of the few instruments he wanted to learn in the first place, on his own.
"That's cool. Say, after group will you play some carols on the piano? The good
ones?" Ymir asked finishing off her breakfast. "Sure." Eren smiled. Levi leaned
into Eren who instinctively wrapped an arm around the smaller male. They were
happy. Maybe it was the holiday spirit, or maybe they were actually getting
better.
Chapter End Notes
     A few of you might me wondering why I had disappeared for so long,
     almost two months I believe. Writers block for one, and I'm working
     on nearly fifteen other fics.
     I know it's selfish to think I can just hold back on you guys for so
     long then ask for forgiveness, but I really hope you guys don't mind
     the fluctuating posting schedule. I'm trying to manage my time better
     so I can get back to the quick posting schedule I had before but that
     was before school had started.
     Since the first semester is over, and my exams are over, the chapters
     should be posted more often. Once again, from the bottom of my heart,
     I'm so sorry that I took so long and posted the holiday specials
     weeks late. But I seriously need your ideas. I did not plan this far
     into this story and it's starting to bite me in the ass.
***** Chapter 25 *****
Chapter Summary
     Eren and Levi start to get steamy, things go wrong, oh so gosh darn
     wrong.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Eren's lips slowly met Levi's is a slow dance. The two too shy or too
frightened to go any further. Eren decided to test the waters. His hand lightly
pressed against Levi's chest, the raven falling back onto the bed. His wide
surprised eyes amused Eren, a chuckle rising out of his throat. Eren crawled
over the smaller male slowly, still waiting for any reaction.
Levi's breathing quickened. He didn't like this. He hated the feeling of being
trapped. But he knew he was powerless against Eren. Their difference in
strength was laughable. So instead of asking for the brunet to get off of him,
and possibly angering him, he shut his eyes and played the part of a happy
partner.
Eren leaned back to look at Levi, his bright turquoise eyes widened when Levi's
face contorted into an expression of strained fear. "Levi?" Eren whispered. The
other male didn't respond. "Levi? Are you okay?" Eren softly cradled Levi's
face in one hand. The cool pale skin of Levi was ice cold compared to Eren's
warm and tanned hand. Levi flinched away from the hand, his brows drew closer
together and a whimper of fear escaped his lips.
"Levi, speak to me." Eren held Levi's tense body in his arms trying to get a
response from the younger male. Not knowing what to do, Eren held Levi in his
arms till the other calmed down and could respond verbally. The guilt weighed
him down as he watch Levi pull the dark blanket against his form, a shiver
running through his body.
"Levi?" Eren softly asked, like if he spoke too loud Levi would shatter. "I
guess I have to tell you why I'm here, don't I?" Levi let out a dry chuckle as
he folded in on himself. He winced as the image of Kenny raced through his
mind. "If you don't want to, it's okay. I don't want to force you into
anything." Eren said worried, his hand set firmly on Levi's leg. The move
usually calming the raven, but it broke a damn.
His teeth ground into each other, his grip on the blanket tight, his knuckles
turning white, breathing out of control, and violent tremors running through
his body. "E-Eren." Levi whimpered to himself as he tried to sort his thoughts.
They were overrun with the memories, the pain, and most of all Kenny. He
couldn't deal with this. He couldn't open his mouth anymore, the air wasn't
going into his lungs, he couldn't feel anything besides the growing pain in his
head.
Eren put his hand in Levi's mouth to keep the boy from ruining his teeth. The
pearly whites dug into the teen's hand, the coppery taste of blood filled Levi
mouth. As it flowed down his throat he began coughing. Levi ripped Eren's hand
out of his mouth to lean over the side of the bed to cough out the poisonous
liquid. "Levi?" Eren whispered, not wanting to cause anymore harm to Levi. The
tidal wave of guilt was washing over him. He caused the attack, he caused Levi
to cough till his lungs burned, he caused Levi pain, and Levi would hate him.
"I'm sorry." Eren's voice was weak, nearly nonexistent. But the deafening
silence let even the smallest of sounds take the center stage. Levi spit out
the last of the blood, wiping the excess off his chin with his wrist. "It's
fine. I should've warned you about this." Levi said in the same hushed silent
whisper. Eren sat criss-cross with his hands in his lap. Levi moved to sit the
same way, only across from Eren. "I, uh. How do I start this?" Levi mumbled,
his eyes darting back and forth. "Um, when I was baby, my mom sold me for
drugs." Levi started, his voice shaky.
"I grew up with my uncle and my sister, Isabel. N-Now, my uncle is a piece of
shit, to put it lightly. He would get drunk, yell at shit, beat us, I never saw
it, but I know he did things to Isabel. I apologized for bringing her into that
damned house every single night. But, uh, one day after school, I had just got
home." Levi paused to take a deep breath, his voice stuttering every few words.
"Can I hold your hands?" Eren asked in a soft voice, Levi nodded placing his
clammy hands in Eren's. The warmth Eren had calmed Levi. With a new confidence,
Levi continued.
"When I got home he was in the shit main room the he liked to call the living
room. He was piss poor drunk, like always. He h-had shouted at me, I don't
really remember the beginnings of it. But uh, I was knocked the ground and tied
to the safety bar shit in front of the fire place, you know?" Levi's finger
nails dug into Eren's palms but the older boy didn't mention it. He squeezed
his hands in response to Levi question. "From there he, he. He-" Levi couldn't
speak, tears flooded from his eyes. His throat clenched and lungs hiccuping.
Eren, in pair of watching Levi suffer, pulled the boy into his arms. His own
few tears soaking into Levi's collar.
Levi, however, was out right sobbing. Snot, tears, and saliva were spread
against Eren's shirt as Levi lot his pent up emotions. "He r-raped me." Levi
forced out. The weight of the words sinking into both of them. Levi's hands
clenched down on Eren's shirt, silently begging him to not leave him. Eren
tightened his own hold on Levi. Not believing Levi could've been hurt so bad.
"He ruined me." Levi whimpered digging his face in Eren's shirt. "Do he
didn't." Eren answered back, his voice unusually calm and smooth for the amount
of tears running down his face. "You're still a wonderful person, Levi. You
aren't ruined." He whispered against Levi's shoulder. "You're still perfect."
"But I'm not! I'm used trash!" Levi ripped himself from Eren's comforting arms,
not believing anyone could still think he's their world after the horrors he's
gone through.
"No, you're a survivor, one who's survived one of the worst things that could
to a person." Eren said extending his arms out for Levi again. "But it's my
fault-" "Don't you ever say that again, Levi. Because it wasn't. It will never
be your fault. It's that bastard's fault." Eren said sternly, Levi flinched at
the tone but the words sunk in. He had been fighting the demons in his head for
a while. Listening to them as they shouted about his lack of worth. How much
better Eren would be without him. How he secretly asked for Kenny to destroy
him. But Eren could always silence them, kill some of the voices even, with
just a few words, or sometimes just a glance. Levi let out a few more tears,
the last of them for the night, and crawled back into Eren's arms. The fluids
from his emotional breakdown were still there, making it sticky, slimy, and
over all disgusting.
"Change your shirt, then we can cuddle." Levi said pointing to the mess of the
front. Eren at Levi's response. He gladly changed, putting on one of the left
over christmas sweaters, a soft one for the side of Levi's face, and laid back
down. Levi laid next to Eren, wrapped his arms around him and snuggled into the
soft fabric which held onto Eren's scent. His legs entangled with Eren's before
the pair drifted into a calming sleep. It was the calm after the storm and the
break before another.
Chapter End Notes
     Thank you to all those who have commented in the past four days, I
     really love reading all of the comments.
     Thanks for reading, feedback is always appreciated, have a nice day ❤
***** Chapter 26 *****
Chapter Summary
     *Warning, a little violence in this chapter, just a warning but if
     you can't handle the stuff in this chapter I have no idea how you
     handled the previous ones. Also a little feels I think.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"Historia?" Ms. Aberline spoke softly as she entered the girls room. Ymir had
already left for the main room. "Yes, ma'am?" Historia replied with a smile as
she approached the woman while drying her hair. "I have some wonderful news."
Ms. Aberline smiled widely as she held the young girl's hand. "Wha?" Historia
looked up at the woman's eyes. She couldn't think of anything that would make
her therapist as happy as she is now. "You're being released!" Ms. Aberline
dropped the bomb. Historia could only smile.
-
Ymir hummed to herself as she ate her apple slices. The sweet fruit went down
nicely as she thought what she would do today. She had been stuck in an art
rut. She couldn't draw, paint, or even sketch. She sneered at the thought of
just doing nothing. With her fruit now completely gone she tossed her trash in
the bin before heading back into the main room.
Her thoughts were interrupted by Historia entering the room. The taller female
felt a smile growing on her lips as the blonde skipped over to her with one of
the largest smiles she's ever seen on the girl. "Ymir!" Historia squealed. The
others in the room looked over at the pair, interested in what got the young
female so ecstatic. "Yeah, sugar?" Ymir smiled softly as Historia wrapped her
small arms tightly around her waist. "I'm being released!" The following
silence was deafening. You could hear the hitch in Ymir's breath when the
information finally sunk in.
"Y-you mean you're...leaving me?" Ymir spoke with an expression of void. "Uh,
yeah. Isn't great? I can finally move on with my life." Historia didn't realize
what her words meant to the tanned teenager. Ymir's hands tightened around
Historia's upper torso. Her eyes widened as the grip became painful. "Y-Ymir,
you're hurting me." Historia said in a whisper at first, not wanting to alert
the guards standing at different points in the room.
But her words had no effect on Ymir. She simply hunched over, her forehead
resting on Historia's shoulder. "Please don't leave me." She whispered before
Historia let out a squeak of pain. The guards raced towards her, ready to take
the female away. A few shouted orders at a nearby nurse, but they all
approached Ymir.
The other patients sunk into their seats, except for Reiner and Eren. The two
had grown to love the two females like family. A guard spring forward, trying
to get Ymir away from Historia first. But his chest met Ymir's foot. With the
breath knocked out of him, he sank to the floor to try and reclaim it.
The other guards went forward. Ymir knocked a few of them away before they
could land a blow on her. Her right eye was sealed shut after one of them hit
her over the head with a baton. She knew two of her left ribs had to be bruises
or even broken, but she didn't, couldn't leave Historia. She needed her.
A man on the ground gripped a fallen baton and swung at the back of her knees.
Ymir sank to the floor, a howl of pain following at she collided on her left
side. Blood flowed from her head and pooled around her. Historia fell to her
knees, the thud of her weight landing on her knees didn't seem to bother her as
she lightly brushed hair out of Ymir's face. She could barely open her left eye
to look at the blonde. Blood dripping right by it.
"Ymir?" Historia whispered wiping away the blond with her dainty thumbs. "Yeah,
princess?" Ymir answered back with a gravely tone to her voice. "I'm sorry."
Ymir was yanked out of Historia's arms by a medic. Two other nurses helped by
strapping her head to the stretcher for transport. Historia kneeled on the
floor with tears falling from her face. She couldn't stop the sobs from raking
through her.
Eren hesitantly approached the female, whispering calming words to the female.
He gently placed a hand on her shoulder and let the female fall into his arms.
Reiner followed, his larger arms wrapping around both of them. "She'll be
fine." Eren whispered before Hanji ran into the room.
She took the girl from the two boys, thanking them. Hanji wrapped her arms
loosely around the girls shoulders but tightly enough to lead her out of the
main room and back to her own. "You'll be fine, darling. Ymir we'll be back in
no time." Hanji said tucking the girl in and giving her a light kiss on the
forehead.
"Ms. Hanji, could you stay here. Just till I fall asleep?" Historia whispered,
her small hands gripping the covers tightly, her knuckles turning white. "Of
course." Hanji sat next to the girl, Historia's arms wrapping around the
woman's lower waist. Hanji moved her fingers through Historia's soft blonde
hair.
Although the young girl had just recently woken up, the events in the past two
hours had completely sucked the energy out of her. She drifted into a restless
sleep, she wouldn't, couldn't, feel complete without Ymir. Hanji began thinking
of those who bonded closely to the others. Those pairs or trios would have to
be released together. To keep them all sane.
-
Eren and Levi sat in the reading section. The younger male was reading while
Eren held onto him from behind. The brunet had gotten more than protective of
the smaller male after waking up that morning. After the Historia and Ymir
event only an hour ago, Eren was even more reluctant to let Levi go. But Levi
was completely fine with the attachment problems Eren was having. Who was he to
be mad at the amount of attention he was getting.
The day passed slowly. The group of patients thinking about the possibility of
losing their friends. The each had someone that kept them grounded, Annie had
started getting along with Bertolt, Reiner and Berty were always close,
Historia and Ymir were becoming friends with Eren, Levi, and Reiner. It's a
large chain of close knit friends. If one went, they all went.
-
Levi blindly grabbed a book from the pile next to him. Eren was sick the raven
leaving the room every half hour to get a book, so he brought a stack of them.
The brunet held onto Levi's waist from behind, the raven leaning back against
his chest. "Levi, I think we should talk." Eren spoke softly, his chin resting
on Levi's shoulder. "What about?" Levi replied turning the page.
"If one of us is released before the other, what are we going to do?" Eren
asked adjusting his hold. "...I," Levi sighed, "I don't know." The raven placed
a bookmark within the book and set it down. Leaning further into Eren, he
rested his hands on top of Eren's and closed his eyes.
What would he do? He had no family besides Isabel, and she wasn't even legally
family. He would surely be put in a government run home for at risk teens. Eren
on the other hand was a legal adult, when he's released he would be on his own.
The growing anxiety within Levi caused him to start shaking. He couldn't stand
the time he was separated from Eren at the beginning of his stay. How was he
going to stay sane while they were separated after their release?
"It's okay, you're already much better than me. I'll start working harder. I'll
get better and then when we're released it'll be at the same time. And then we
can live happily ever after." Eren's monotone voice gave away he was crushed
under the weight of his emotions. After finding out about Levi's past, he felt
the need to protect Levi from everything. He knew after a while Levi would want
some of his freedom back, but for now he was thankful that the younger teen let
him be as clingy as he needed.
Levi on the other hand was crying. All the possibilities of losing Eren were
running through his head. By this time he knew Eren would hopefully never
purposefully leave him, but the chance one of them being released early was
growing as they became more and more stable. Levi knew the chance that Eren
would find someone better than him in the outside world was large. Eren was
perfect, kind, intelligent, handsome, and had many talents.
"Just please don't leave me." Eren whimpered digging his face into the junction
of Levi's neck and shoulder. Those five words silenced the rapid shouting voice
in his head to a numb quiet. Levi turned over so he was laying on Eren's firm
chest. Although the tears still slipped out, the pair fell asleep in each
others arms, thinking about the future.
Chapter End Notes
     This fic is probably going to wrap up in a few more, maybe five or
     ten, chapters. Do y'all want a sequel? Comment if you do, I'd be glad
     to do so but it would be put on the back burner for a few weeks since
     I'm working on a few other fics. Depends mostly on how much y'all
     want it.
     Thanks for reading, feedback is my lifeblood, have a wonderful day ❤
***** Chapter 27 *****
Chapter Summary
     *warning, there is some bad shit going down down in this chapter, if
     you are triggered easily please do not read the first half of it.
     Ymikuri drama and a little fluff at the end.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Historia woke up only minutes after Hanji left. Her blue eyes glazed over.
Despite the extra sleep her body felt like a thousand stones were weighing her
down. All she could think about was how pathetic Ymir sounded when she
whispered for Historia to not leave her. It made her insides twist and turn
with anxiety. She couldn't stand to hear Ymir like that. How strong the female
was usually kept her grounded. It kept Historia on the right track, looking to
her side and seeing Ymir standing tall and proud. Historia knew she could
always depend on her. Now knowing that Ymir was a wreck because on her, it
ripped all sense of security from her. Without Ymir, she resorted back to her
old ways of dealing with stress.
Historia shambled into the bathroom. Her pale hands clammy with sweat as they
supported her. With a few forced steps she leaned against the counter. Her
reflecting staring back like a haunting photo. Her usually bright blue eyes
were dim and murky. Dark circles were forming under them, sucking the remaining
color from the orbs. Her skin looked deathly pale. Her lips, normally soft and
a pale pink, were dry and cracked, white flakes of dried dead skin forming.
With a forced back hiss, she licked them. The cracks widened, blood seeping
out.
Historia glared at her reflection, hating it. It showed how messed up she
really was. No amount of therapy or 'good vibes', like Hanji ranted about once,
could fix her. All she did was hurt her loved ones. With a shaky breath she
approached Ymir's side of the room. A weeks worth of medicine hidden under her
mattress. During the first few weeks Ymir was at the institution, she didn't
take her morning pills, she would hide them.
She always said that she was perfectly fine and didn't need anything like that.
Historia thought she was an idiot at the time for refusing medication, but now
she was thankful. She grabbed each and every single pill. The small white, blue
and red pills would go down easily enough with a glass of water, she thought.
Placing each in her mouth, she drank from a cup. The twenty-one pills went
down. She ran the bath, the water rising quickly as she got in. The warm water
was soothing as it soaked her clothes.
Her movements were sluggish. Her body was too slow for her liking, but she was
glad that the pills were working quickly. She leaned back against the back of
the tub, her nose just barely over the water. Her dim blue eyes fluttered shut
and her body sunk into the water. With her body in a drug induced coma, she
slipped under the water, feeling nothing.
-
Hanji shot up from her short nap at her desk. The loud rushed foot steps from
outside her office waking her. Quickly joining the group of people, she ran
with them. Despite the worry of her condition, she raced into Historia's room.
Her heart racing with worry. Nurses were shouting orders at others, forcing
their way into the bathroom. Hanji heard the rush of water. Her stomach
dropped. "No! Is she alright?" Hanji's loud voice drowned out the others. The
male nurse placed the small girl on the floor. Hanji breaking through the wall
of nurses to start chest compressions. "Why didn't anyone stay with her!" Her
roar of a voice silencing the nurses.
"We didn't think she was that dependent on patient Ymir." A nurse answered.
"You idiots. It's a web, they all depend on the others!" Hanji cut off her
speech to give mouth to mouth. 'Let's hope to god that she hasn't been under
too long.' Hanji's mind raced as she repeated CPR. 'Chest, mouth, chest, chest,
mouth.' She repeated like a mantra. She leaned down to give another breath of
air into Historia's lungs when the young teen coughed up water. Despite it
splashing on Hanji's face, she smiled through the salty tears that now poured
down her face. "Hey baby girl." She said with a motherly tone and a more than
relieved smile. Historia looked down in shame. "I'm sorry." Her small voice
quiet and on the verge of sobbing. "Don't be, we all make mistakes." Hanji held
the girl in her arms as the nurses retrieved dry clothes and a towel.
The blonde was stripped of her wet clothes, pat dried, and dressed in new
clothes. Historia shivered even with a blanket thrown over her frame. "I'm
sorry." Historia sobbed, the balls of her wrists pressed against her eyes as
the tears rolled down her cheeks. "I didn't want to hurt you, I just didn't
want to leave Ymir." Historia's lungs shook within her chest, denying the girl
of a full breath. "It's alright princess, we'll get Ymir for you." Hanji rocked
the sobbing girl, trying to calm her, as she gave silent orders to those around
her.
Ymir was brought in, her arms bound with soft cuffs. "Historia!" Ymir rushed
forward, Hanji darting out of the way. She crouched in front of her. The tanned
female's tears blurring her vision as she gripped Historia's pants. "Why? Why
did you do it?" She sobbed on her lap. Historia gently held Ymir's head. "What
did I do? Was it when I snapped in the main room? Do you not love me anymore?"
Ymir was calmly hushed by Historia. The blonde smiling softly at the teen in
front of her. Hanji shuffled nurses out, feeling they were interfering on a
crucial moment.
"When I first met you, I thought you were an idiot." Historia's soft voice
calmed the raking sobs from Ymir, weakening them to small hiccups. "Really?"
Ymir chuckled as she wiped her tears. "I thought you were the most beautiful
person I ever saw. Guess we really are different." Ymir let out a huff settling
into a more comfortable position in Historia's lap.
"Guess so. But as I got to know you, I thought you were amazing. The way you
stood up for yourself. How you could stand with such confidence. It made me
jealous. So I just stuck to your side, hoping that some of it would rub off on
me. I just became attached to how you would say the sappiest things, or how you
grind your teeth when the group leader would ask a question directed at you, or
even how deep you got involved in your art. I love you." Historia kept a calm
voice, hiding the way her throat wanted to close up.
"I never knew you liked me so much." Ymir laughed slightly, a light blush
dusting her cheeks. "Yeah, I like to think about what we would do if we were
released. You know, like how we would hold hands when walking down the street.
Or who would pick what movie we would watch. Sometimes how we'd react to buying
our first house together. I know they're all stupid, but I enjoyed thinking
about them. It was easy to think about the positives instead of the negatives
when you were around. But when I woke up today, all I could think about was how
I made you mad. How I had messed up. How I was garbage. I didn't want to leave
you. I was caught up in my thoughts about the future when I spoke to you. I'm
sorry." After Historia's speech, Ymir remained quiet. Not even her hiccups
breaking the thick silence.
"Just please don't leave me?" Ymir whimpered clutching the back of Historia's
lower back. The blonde leaned further down to cradle Ymir's head in her arms.
"I'd never leave you."
Chapter End Notes
     Thank you for reading, it means a lot to me. Feedback is what keeps
     me going, so please any comments are appreciated. Have a wonderful
     day/night ❤
***** Chapter 28 *****
Chapter Summary
     Hanji talks with the gal pals, Erwin and Eren have some one-on-one
     time. Also, Erwin makes a joke that I'm really proud of so there's
     that.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Historia's stomach was pumped after she confessed to swallowing pills. Ymir was
within ten feet of her at all times, Hanji even had one of the nurses bring
them each a tray of food so they wouldn't have to separate.
"So how are my two princesses doing?"
Hanji smiled brightly, throwing open the doors. In both of her hands and on her
forearms, balanced four trays of food, one with cups and a pitcher of lemonade.
"Pretty good."
"Better."
"That's what I like to hear. Here's breakfast."
Hanji grinned. She set one tray on Historia's blanketed lap and gave the other
to Ymir. With her own meal resting at the end of the bed, she poured each of
them, including herself, a class of lemonade.
"So, I've been meaning to talk to you both about what happened."
Hanji spoke calmly looking Ymir in the eye.
"Yeah? I was waiting for this."
Historia mumbled frowning around the raspberry in her mouth. Ymir sighed,
leaning back in her chair whilst shoving a whole sausage piece in her mouth.
"How many times do we have to repeat the story?"
Ymir grumbled, her glare hardening as she look at Hanji's frown.
"No, you two are too close. Wait it came out wrong. You depend too much on the
other, do you get what I'm saying?"
Hanji rubbed her temples, popping a small berry in her mouth.
"Yeah, we need to be stable enough to not depend on the other."
Historia said looking up. Her small delicate face pulled into a pout.
"Thank you, I've been meaning to bring this up in a group session b- but I
haven't gotten around to i- it."
Hanji's hands shook as she stuttered out her words. Historia hesitantly grabbed
her fiddling hands.
"It's okay Ms. Zoe. You've been focused on other things. You're doing the best
you can."
"Yeah, you're doing pretty good with being surrounded by a bunch of messes."
Ymir smirked tilting her head to the side, a lazed look in her eyes.
"I'm sorry for loading this all of on you two. But I'll make it up to you both.
My goal for this year, get at least four of you guys out and ready for the real
world!"
Hanji grinned widely, her brown eyes sparkling with determination. Historia let
a soft giggle escape her chapped lips.
"Thank you Ms. Zoe. I'm sorry for destroying what we worked so hard on. I'll
try my best too!"
Historia smiled, clenching her fist against her chest. Ymir chuckled and
followed her example.
"I want to be able to survive out there. I'll try hard, don't worry Zoe."
"Thank you girls. Now, let's get gossiping. Did you hear Armin is flirting with
Erwin?"
"No?"
"The blonde weasel."
-
Eren walked down the carpeted hall with a stoic expression. His mind was going
over the conversation he had with Levi.
'He's so close to being released. While I'm just so far away.'
Eren stopped, the air feeling too cold on his exposed skin.
'I can't freak out now. Remember what Hanji told you. Breath in, breath out,
keep going. Think happy thoughts.'
He swallowed the anxiety, pressing his hand against the door.
"Hello?"
"Ah, you're right on time. Hanji is still working with Historia and Ymir, hope
you don't mind."
Erwin's deep voice ended with a chuckle.
"Nah, it's cool."
Eren sat on the large white chair before Erwin's desk. His hands clammy and
throat dry.
"Is there anything worrying you? You seem tense."
"Uh yeah, I wanted to ask about my possibly release date. With how I am now,
when would it be?"
Eren's tone firmed as he went on. Erwin's eyebrows rose as well.
"Well,"
Erwin rolled his large chair over to the filing cabinets to the side. Looking
through several different drawers before pulling out a folder.
"with your pace now, you'd be released well into twenty eighteen. But I take it
you want to speed up the process?"
"Y- Yes, I feel like Levi is so close to being released and I'm scared to let
him go. So I want to follow after him as quickly as I can. Is there anything
slowing me down?"
Erwin tapped a pencil against the desk, thinking over Eren's file. He had most
of the thing memorized to some extent.
"If I'm going to be completely honest with you, Eren. It would take so much
more medication and counseling then you're getting now to have you released by
the end of this year.
"You're anger, though you've become better at controlling it, is a major
problem. If you were to go out in the real world and snap? You'd be in prison
for a fifteen to life sentence. I don't want to you to be worried or angry at
yourself. We'll try to speed up your case with a little more intense one-on-one
sessions. Remember what your goal is for this years."
Erwin watched the expressions form and crumble on Eren's face. His hands
clenched and unclenched in his lap, sweat dripped from his brow.
"Okay, thanks."
"Can I ask you a question?"
Eren nodded.
"Why do you want to be there for Levi?"
Erwin leaned back, watching Eren relax at the mention of Levi.
'He's his anchor.'
"He's just so, I don't want to say small or fragile, but he's delicate? He just
seems like the wind will break him. And yes, I know it's rude to think he can't
protect or think for himself, but whenever I'm not with him I worry about him.
Like he's just so....wonderful? I'm scared he'll realize how amazing he is and
leave me behind."
Eren faded to a soft whisper. As much as Levi was his anchor, he was always a
great cause for stress.
Despite the late nights spent cuddling and whispering 'I love you's, Eren
thought Levi could do so much better than himself.
"Eren, I can assure you Levi won't leave you behind. He cares about you, and
taking a little longer to get yourself back together won't cause him to think
any less. If you don't believe me, ask him when you see him next."
"...Thanks Mr. Smith. Sorry for being such a mess today, a lot's happened."
Eren scratched the back of his neck, cringing at the dampness.
"It's completely fine, I'm the person you're suppose to lean on and unload your
baggage on. Now, I can see the sweat on you. Go take a shower and get some
rest, your eye bags look Gucci."
Eren smiled at the joke and stood.
"I guess your right, thanks again."
Eren left the room, leaving Erwin to look over the file in front of him.
'He's doing better than he thinks.'
Erwin smirked, looking back at his little performance. Using the inhuman amount
of willpower he has, Eren will most likely be out years before expected.
Chapter End Notes
     It's been a month and I'm sorry, but I'm updating now? I feel like I
     apologize for every chapter now, bless my writing speed. Anyway, the
     reason why I haven't updated for the past month is because I'm
     Narusasu trash and I've been working on my other 50 something fics,
     most are ereri, few are Sterek, Narusasu, and SnowBaz, so if you'd
     like to see some of them maybe I could post them? I'm not sure yet.
     Thank you for reading, and if you haven't already leave a kudo and a
     comment. I cry tears of happiness for every new comment ❤
***** Chapter 29 *****
Chapter Summary
     Jean is officially back with the rest of the gang, I screwed up the
     time line but I'm too deep in some other stuff so I'm not fixing it.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"Alright Jean, you're free to go. You just need to be careful not to put too
much pressure on your right leg."
The doctor smiled softly at the boy who seemed surprised.
"You mean, I can actually leave? Seriously?"
Jean leaned forward, his hand pressing against his temple in shock. A smile
formed on his lips.
"Yeah, of course you'll have some difficulty walking for long periods of time.
But I'm sure you'll recover completely."
"Thanks dude!"
A few nurses entered the room, one holding a pair of crutches. The trio of
woman helped Jean out of bed and helped him take his first few steps in a
while.
Jean hadn't stopped smiling. Even when he slipped.
"Don't worry, since most of the room are carpeted, you'll have more traction
there."
A nurse spoke calmly, gently pulling Jean forward.
"Hmm. I think I got it."
Jean's smile only grew as he quickly became adapt at using the crutches.
"Good job, I'm sure your want to see your friend already. Let's go."
Jean happily treaded down the hall, his underarms hurt and were sure to be
bruised if he continued walking this way, but it felt so much better even being
able to walk.
"Here, if you need help just press this. We'll be there as soon as we can."
The nurse handed him a thick and wide white bracelet, with a large button. It
reminded Jean of a watch.
"Thanks again."
Jean stepped in, looking around at the glum mood. His brows furrowed.
"Who died?"
His sudden voice snatched the attention of those inside. The look on Armin's
face told him something was wrong.
"Jean, you shouldn't have said that."
"What, why?"
Jean shuffled forward, resting his throbbing leg by sitting in the reading
section.
"It's been a few months since he's been here. Give him a break. Just fill him
in."
Reiner shrugged, his book capturing his attention again.
"Well, Historia was supposed to be released-
"Released? That's great!"
"No it wasn't, and please don't interrupt me. She came in here to tell Ymir
about it and she went crazy. A few hours ago we learned Historia tried to kill
herself."
Jean felt his stomach sink.
"Oh, sorry."
"It's fine."
Jean was pissed about his welcome back. Sure the holidays, he spent the
holidays with them. But now he was back, completely and totally. But he doesn't
even get a 'hey, glad you're doing well.'
He leaned against the edge of sofa, pouting as he looked through the stack of
books next to him.
The doors opening again caught his attention. He wasn't sure who to expect, but
Ymir and Historia were the first two on the list.
"Historia!"
Armin grinned, jumping to his feet to hug the girl.
"Hey Arm."
Ymir watched with a small smile as Historia hugged and spoke rapidly about
various topics.
"Hey Ymir, heard you went bat shit."
Jean's tired voice pulled Ymir's attention. She turned to look at the still
bruised but walking teen.
"You're back too? Damn."
The pair sat down, both interested in what the other went through.
"So what's it like to be wrecked by Jaeger?"
Jean laughed at her bluntness. It was a nice change from the sweet and sugar
coated words of the nurses.
"Painfully as fuck. He broke my leg, a few ribs, and gave me a really bad
concussion. The rest were fractures and bruises."
"What about your spine. You took a table to it, didn't you?"
"Yeah, thankfully Jaeger didn't hit my spine, right next to it though, he
fucking wrecked it. Wanna see?"
Jean grinned as he moved to turn around, waiting for her approval.
"Hell yes, let's see this bad boy."
Ymir smirked as Jean pulled up the hem of his shirt. His whole lower bad was a
fading purple. Few spots were yellow with a purple edge, but it looked like he
bathed in purple paint.
"Holy shit dude, this looks fucking painful."
Ymir grinned looking at the wound. Jean nodded, lowering his shirt and sitting
back facing Ymir.
"Yeah, it hurts a lot. But the doc has me on pain meds along with my usual
ones. So I hardly feel it."
A sharp intake of breath from behind Jean paused their conversation. Ymir was
smirking with a bright spark in his eyes. She whispered an, "oh shit", under
her breath.
Jean craned his neck to see Eren standing there frozen.
"Hey buddy."
Jean grinned. Eren's green eyes flooded with varying emotions. Guilt, remorse,
pain, regret, and so much relief.
"Hey Jean."
Eren shuffled forward, a small smile finally making it's way to his lips. Jean
knew Eren was sorry, but he couldn't help the slight intake of breath.
"Look, I'm really sorry. I'm so sorry, please forgive me. I really regret
snapping. Oh my god, I'm sorry-"
"I accept your apology, just stop rambling. Your voice gives me headaches."
Eren looked up from his feet to see Jean lazily smiling at him. Ymir nodded,
pointing to the bean bag to her right.
"Pull up a seat, we got a lot to talk about, nerds."
Eren breathed a sigh of relief. Jean forgave him, Ymir and Historia are
perfectly fine, and he's on the right track to being released. Things were
going alright for now.
Chapter End Notes
     Thanks for reading, join the cool squad and give a kudos or join the
     even cooler squad and leave a comment ❤
     I'm probably going to be posting my newer fics so Dmd may or may not
     slow down again. I'll try to get them all evened out, but knowing my
     attention span I'll end up watching the Twlight series instead of
     writing, or I'll start a Twlight au. If you want to see a really
     shitty gayer version of Twlight, I guess you could comment that??
***** Chapter 33 *****
Chapter Summary
     Armin and Erwin speak about the days previous events.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"Armin, please follow me."
The blonde looked up from his cards, making eye contact with Erwin.
"Sorry Historia, one-on-one."
He shrugged placing his cards down with a shrug and apologetic smile. Historia
rolled her soft blue eyes.
"It's fine, my session is in a few minutes so we'll continue this in a few."
Armin smiled, hugging her before walking away. Erwin smiled as Armin walked out
of the main room with him.
They walked in silence before reaching Armin's room. Armin fiddled with the hem
of his sweater, his thoughts going over what he wanted to talk about.
'Erwin should understand. He's helped you this far. Come on, what the worst he
could do? Call you a pussy and end the session too soon? Then you wouldn't get
to be near him for a while.'
Armin dug his neatly trimmed nails through his sweater and into his palms. It
hurt but it wouldn't leave marks.
"Armin?"
Armin snapped his head up, Erwin was holding the door open with a mix of
curiosity and worry in his blue eyes.
"Coming."
He darted inside, keeping his head low. The scent of books and the warmth of
the 'sunlight' was calming. He sat down, his back hunched and hands coming
together to fiddle.
"Do you have anything to speak about? Or would you like to go over the past few
days?"
Erwin asked sitting on the other end of the sofa like chair. Ever since Armin
spilled his life story, Erwin liked to sit near the boy.
"Let's go over the past few days, please."
Armin hesitantly looked up at Erwin, a faint blush forming on his cheeks.
"Alright, let's being on saturday; the day before Historia was to be released."
Armin took a shaky breath, his hands shook in his lap. Swallowing the anxiety,
he began.
"The day before was normal. Nothing interesting happened besides what I was
reading. But nothing happened worth mentioning."
Erwin nodded, writing a small not in his file.
"What about the next day?"
"You know lots of things happened then. It started out pretty normal. I was the
second one in the room, I ate breakfast with Annie, she spoke with me about the
Titanic. Around eight was when Ymir came in. She was mad she missed breakfast,
but was easy to calm down with the promise of my chocolate chip cookie.
Afterwards she hung out with Eren, Levi, and Reiner. Historia came in after,
she went right for Ymir. The brightest smile on her face, the brightest I've
seen on her ever. She said she was leaving and Ymir snapped."
Erwin wrote down notes quickly as Armin's pace picked up. His tone rose as
tears fell.
"A fight broke out between her a- and the guards. Historia was a mess, Eren and
Reiner comforted her but it was obvious something was wrong. Hanji came in and
I don't remember much of what happened. A few days later it was leaked to us
Historia tried to, t- to, uh, I can't say it. But yeah. I, of course, was
scared and just a mess. And since then I've just been twitching and thinking,
and Eren says it's never good when I think for too long. I think he's right
cause I just made myself way more stressed than before and thinking it out
helped nothing-"
Erwin covered Armin's small hands with his own. The blonde teen looked up, his
voice cutting off.
"You were picking at your nails."
Erwin answered the question in his eyes. Armin looked down at his short nails.
The edges were bleeding and a few were torn. the skin flags above them were
peeled back, the pink skin burned.
"Oh."
Erwin sighed, standing up. Armin bit his lip to keep from calling out to him.
The man walked over to his desk and pulled out a small first-aid kit.
Popping it open, he kneeled in front of Armin. He held his hand out, waiting
for Armin. The teen laid them both in the large calloused palm.
"What were you thinking about?"
Armin looked at Erwin's concentrated expression. He quickly dabbed a wet
cleaning wipe on the bloodied fingers.
"I'm really scared everyone will be released while I'll remain here. I don't
want to see my friends leave. I never had them before and I really like them
all. I want them to get better, but I don't want to be left alone."
Erwin finished cleaning the blood and disinfecting the ruined nails. He wrapped
them each in clean white gauze, sealing them with a small piece of medical
tape. He kissed each finger before speaking.
"This probably isn't what you wanted to hear, but growing up includes leaving
some people behind. As much as you want to keep in contact with everyone, only
a few relationships are strong enough to keep during a long distance."
Erwin tightened his hold on Armin's wrists. He feared the day Armin would leave
him as well.
"If you really don't want to lose your friends, you'll keep those bonds strong
so even during a rough period, like separation, they'll survive. Do you
understand?"
Armin nodded looking at Erwin as he rose to his feet and engulfed the sitting
teen with a hug.
"I think, I have to keep the bonds strong so after we're all released we can
continue being friends."
"Good job. Now, is there anything else? Or would you like to read with me?"
Erwin knew one of the most relaxing activities for Armin was reading. It was
also one of his own favorite thing to do with him.
"Read."
Armin broke out in a smile, a blush forming on his cheeks.
"Perfect, you continuing your last one?"
"I can't just leave off on the cliff hanger, yes please."
Erwin chuckled, grabbing the only book left out of place and handed it to
Armin. The boy thanked him, leaning against the arm of the sofa, he opened it
to his last page and began reading.
Erwin grabbed his own, and settled at the other end. Their legs intertwined,
and before long they were both engulfed in the stories.
Chapter End Notes
     Guess who's back? Maybe me?
     Over the summer I lost all motivation for anything, especially the
     things I enjoyed doing like writing and drawing, and since I started
     up school my time has been filled with that stressful mess.
     Hopefully I'll be able to get something out soon, even if it's just a
     short chapter. I'm working on my other stories again so I might
     update those as well.
     I'd like to thank anyone who has been waiting for the thirty third
     chapter of this mess of story for reading this far. I apologize for
     the eye bleach you'll require for this story, it's legit the
     shittiest thing ever. If I complete it ever I might do a rewritten
     version at a later date, which will hopefully not be this shit. But
     that's a thing for future me.
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