Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/6198127.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      larrystylinson_-_Fandom
  Relationship:
      Louis/Harry_louistomlinson/harrystyles
  Character:
      Louis_Tomlinson_Niall_Horan_Liam_Payne_zayn_malik_Harry_styles
  Additional Tags:
      larry_-_Freeform, larrystylinson, Louis_Tomlinson_-_Freeform, Harry
      Styles_-_Freeform, noncon, Gay, Smut, Underage_-_Freeform, YoungHarry,
      olderlouis, top!Louis, Bottom!Harry, Anal, handjobs, Blowjobs,
      nippleplay, Sexualabuse, Destructive_Relationship, Angst
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-03-08 Chapters: 3/? Words: 8513
****** Crushed ******
by Aimh_harreh
Summary
     "I never said thank you,"
     "For what?"
     "Helping saving me?"
     Or
     Harry has had a crush on Niall's older step brother for many years.
     Harry remembers the times when Harry was younger and Louis was the
     shoulder to cry on.
Notes
     trigger warnings!!
     Feel free to comment what you think.
     This is only the first chapter! (:
***** One *****
"'S on the house, anything for my baby brother and his best mate," Louis smiles
softly from behind the counter. Harry blushes instantly mumbling a thanks,
Louis always has this effect on him, always has had. It's pathetic he is aware
but he can't help it.
Harry has known Niall since the beginning of time, Niall's parents got divorced
and his dad remarried a woman which happened to have the most attractive son.
Louis Tomlinson, short and manly as hell. Maybe a few years older too, okay
maybe a more than a few,seven to be exact. But the age difference didn't stop
him from crushing on him, bad.
"I'm not your real-" Niall tries to speak but gets cut off by the slightly high
pitched voice quickly.
"Real brother, yeah yeah I know but I see you as one. Just take the damn coffee
and leave before I change my mind idiot," he smiles shaking his head slow and
Harry's stomach flutters, everything he does is so attractive and just perfect,
he is perfect.
"Okay,you better come visit someday soon, mum misses ya!" Niall exclaims as he
begins walking away, embarrassingly needing to drag Harry by his wrist away
with him. Which makes the cutest little chuckle leave the older blue eyed lads
mouth.
"Could you be more obvious?" Niall laughs and throws his arms out.
Harry furrows his brows in confusion and takes a sip of the hot liquid from the
cardboard cup in his big hand. "What?" He finally asks when he has swallowed
and felt it go down his throat slow.
"You were staring at him like a creep, you- you creep," he stares at Harry and
huffs who only returns his comment with a big eyed gaze.
What is so wrong with looking at a person who you are engaging in a
conversation with? He wasn't being creepy? Right?
"Whatever, I'm just saying that if you don't want to embarrass yourself try to
keep it cool," he begins and steps into the drivers seat in his car they had
approached.
"Jesus Harry, you are so weird around him, not at all like yourself. Why did
you have to have a crush on my brother? He is twenty five too, you know how
sick that is?" Harry knows Niall is okay with it and is only saying it in a
kind of joking way.
At least he hopes so, because he already is upset over the fact that Louis is
way out of his league and Niall nagging him about it didn't make it better.
"Wasn't it you who just told him that he wasn't your real brother?" Harry grins
sheepishly and looks out the window at the different shops they pass and the
people walking around outside of them.
"Whatever H," Niall scoffs and turns on the radio blasting some song from the
charts right now.
It's nothing like the songs Louis plays in his car whenever he would be at
Niall's and wanted to be nice and drive Harry home.
Harry always looks forward the evenings when Louis would visit Niall's and
offer his help to drive him home. Unfortunately Niall always goes with so Harry
doesn't really get to talk to Louis like we would want but maybe it's for the
better. Harry usually gets really shy around him or his embarrasses himself to
the point that he just wants to disappear.
"Want to sleep over tonight?" Niall asks when they are close to the big fancy
house he has been to all too many times before. Honestly he is feeling tired
and just wants to go home, he is just about to kindly turn down the offer when
Niall interrupts him.
"Sweet! Lou decided to come for dinner tonight so Jay will probably make
something nice," Niall smiles wide and Harry chuckles, because Niall isn't
beaming about his brother, well stepbrother but whatever, visiting but only
about food. Nothing new though.
"Ni, the food at your house is always good," Harry shakes his head and a
breathy laugh escapes.
Then he realises what Niall said. Louis is going to be there. Now the sleeping
over seems oddly inviting again and Harry doesn't feel tired at all anymore.
Weird. That has absolutely nothing to do with Louis, of course.
"I'll come," Harry says then nodding once and smiling. Already feeling the
butterflies in his stomach when thinking about Louis being there too. Maybe he
will even gather enough courage to talk to him properly like the old times.
They have talked many times of course as Louis has lived there too when he was
younger and also about a year ago when Harry's life looked very different from
now.
Now Louis has moved out and lives in some apartment. He says that's the best
thing he has done, moved out that is. Except the part that he has to make his
own food and wash his own clothes.
The conversations have been about literally anything and nothing but Harry
enjoys them all just as much.
"It's not just because of Louis?" Niall asks suddenly sounding slightly more
insecure than before.
"No! No Niall of course not!" Harry is quick to answer because that isn't the
case. He doesn't lie, it's not only because of Louis. Louis is only a reason
behind the decision.
-
"Hey baby glad to have you here again," jay exclaims happily and grabs Louis to
drag him into one of her big loving bear hugs.
Louis lets out a supposed annoyed groan like always but Harry doesn't miss the
fond in his face even if he tries his best to hide it.
He realises he is just standing there staring from around the corner, now he
knows what Niall meant when he called him a creep. It is a bit creepy.
He is on a mission from Niall to get soda down to the basement where Niall is
starting up Fifa for them to play. He just kind of stopped when he saw that
familiar mess of hair by the door.
He clears his throat and finally turns the corner completely getting both Jay's
and Louis' eyes on him. Harry tries his best not to blush from the intense
stare from Louis, he always has this weird look that makes him almost squirm.
"Hey darling, did you want something?" Jay finally asks after a moment of
stares and silence.
"I, um, yeah," Harry closes his and to tries to gather his thoughts, he hates
how he always gets all flustered around Louis, it's truly embarrassing.
"Niall told me to go get us some soda, if that is fine with you?" Harry asks
trying to sound as polite as possible and looks down to not stutter or loose
his words completely.
Even if he has been here many many times before since he and Niall have known
each other since before they could walk basically, Harry still is polite and
tries to always behave extra good behaved. Not that there is anything wrong
with that, he simply isn't as free and outgoing like Niall who walks around in
Harry's house in only briefs and gets himself whatever he wants whenever. Which
isn't wrong either.
"Of course love, c'mere," she smiles her warm smile and gestures with her hand
for him to follow into the kitchen.
Louis is taking off his shoes and like he knows Harry is staring he looks up
and smiles a small but very warm smile.
Louis has never been the brother to not let his smaller brother borrow his
things or throw him out of his room, well not always. Louis is just a kind
person, one Harry looks up to very much. One that Harry owes much to.
"Hey, H," he says soft as he walks by him not forgetting to ruffle Harry's
already messy mop of curls.
The action makes him shiver and the butterflies are back. Every touch from
Louis sends electricity trough his body. The good kind.
He has almost forgot about Jay so he rushes into the kitchen while trying to
fix his unruly curls and tangles.
"Here you go, Harry," that woman never seems to stop smiling. Harry finds
comfort around her, she is so happy and loving and one of the most accepting
and helping people he has met. He can definitely see where Louis has gotten it
from.
He takes the bottle of soda in one hand and the two cups in the other, it isn't
that hard at all as his hands are quite big.
"Took you long enough, what happened? Did your eyes get stuck on my brother
again you creep?" Niall jokes and Harry just laughs awkwardly because no that
was absolutely not what happened.
-
"Thank you for the dinner, Jay. As good as always," Harry smiles at her and she
mumbles a "thanks love".
"Yes mum, it was really good. I miss this. The food I make always burns and
Liam only makes healthy shit food," Louis laughs and Harry freezes in his seat.
Who is Liam? Is that his new boyfriend? Then almost instantly and luckily
enough right before someone was about to take notice of his strange behaviour
he remembers the new roommate Louis has talked about at the dinner. Liam is
probably that person, well he hopes he is.
"Niall,Hun will you please help with the dishes?" Jay asks and looks away from
Louis to Niall who sits back with his hands on his tummy and looks as full as
ever.
He groans loud like every time and Harry as always offers his help instead. He
doesn't mind, Harry gets to stay here after all this is the least he can do.
"Thank you so much Harry, Niall are you really going to let Harry take care of
it again?" Jay asks and sighs slightly looking between them with an apologising
look.
"Yup, have fun with that mate. I'll be in my room fixing your bed, so I will
not be completely useless," Niall glares at them, it's only jokingly Harry
knows that. That's just the way Niall is.
"It's fine I can handle it," Harry shakes his head and then smiles as assuring
as he can.
They all begin to stand up and put their plates in the sink. It looks so clean
like always, Harry never has understood how they can keep it so clean.
Maybe because Niall only hangs out down in the basement and that room is a
whole another story. As messy as a room can get. Harry bets he could even loose
Niall in there somehow, under all of those clothes, food wrappers and cans.
"I'll help you," a voice says from behind startling Harry. He quickly turns
around and is met by a bright warm smile.
Louis is standing behind him but not too close. It's unfortunate, if Harry were
to decide he would stand as close as possible to Louis. Breathing in the sweet
smell of Louis Tomlinson and feeling the smooth skin radiating heat.
"I'll wash them, you dry them," he continues and stretches out a towel towards
him.Harry feels stuck in place but forces his eyes off of Louis and nods shyly.
"Thanks," he finally gets out as Louis has already began running the water and
getting a plate up.
Louis always has helped. Always so kind.
They wash and dry the dishes mostly in silence. Once in a while Louis will
apologise if he splashes water on Harry but Harry only giggles and doesn't
mind. Harry will apologise if he almost drops the plate or if his hand touches
Louis' which he can admit is pathetic.
Harry is desperate though, desperate to talk to him. Have a conversation, get
him to laugh. That has always been the best feeling ever, getting Louis
Tomlinson to laugh, so much so that his eyes crinkle at the side and his head
is thrown back. He just doesn't know what to say.
"How's work?" He blurts out and regrets it immediately. What kind of question
even is that? Who asks about work?
Little, pathetic Harry apparently.
"It's, well, good I suppose but work is work you know," Louis shrugs the happy
tone in his voice never leaving.
"Oh, yeah," Harry quietly agrees as e keeps drying the glass in his hand
carefully, taking his time.
"The best has to be when cute guys come in and order though," Louis chuckles
and Harry wants so bad to see his face right now, he always does but it's extra
much right now. So he does.
Louis looks as cute as ever when he chuckles or giggles. The best is when he
holds his tiny hand in front of his mouth. Harry tries to hide his fond and
looks down again. Putting the dry glass to the side and grabbing the wet clean
fork Louis hands out.
"There was this one guy, Eric, he was extremely cute. I though I could faint he
was so attractive," Louis begins to explain and there is tugging in Harry's
chest because it feels weird and uncomfortable for Harry when Louis talks about
other guys. Especially since he knows Louis is gay too. It's definitely not
jealousy.
"But then he came up to order and he was hitting on everyone or was just being
extremely rude to me and everyone working he laid his eyes on basically,
bossing us around like crazy and huffing offending words under his breath to
all of us,"
Even though Harry knows he shouldn't feel relieved for such a bad thing, but,
he does.
"What? How rude," Harry tries to sound the right amount of sad and irritated
while not thinking about how happy he is that Eric didn't turn out to be mr
dreamy.
"Then I realised the term fuckboy maybe isn't such a bad and weird term after
all," he laughs making Harry feel warm inside and Harry laughs too only because
that's what Louis' laughs usually does to him.
Harry knows that term. He knows guys like that too. His ex Alec being one of
them. He remembers liking him so much, even if he still liked Louis at the time
for some odd and wrong reason. He finally had found another guy who made him
feel just as good as Louis did and this time his feelings could be answered.
He knew Niall's mate and Harry met him at a party. One of those big birthday
parties where nobody knows anybody but the people they came with but they still
get it on like everyone there are best mates since middle school.
Alec was a dream. He was tall, had his chocolate and caramel coloured hair in a
quiff, his eyes were an even deep brown, his lips were pink and plump and his
body was very well built. His personality was everything but flawed, he was so
kind, funny and easy going. Of course it was too good to be true that a guy
like him liked someone like Harry.
Harry and Niall were only sixteen and already making bad choices, the people
there were older including Alec who was nineteen. Harry has just always like
older guys, he liked how experienced they were and how they were much more
mature than guys in his age. He thought Alec was perfect, of course he wasn't.
They dated for three months, well, mostly they fucked and sometimes if Harry
was lucky Alec was still there when he woke up from his after sex nap.
Harry didn't complain though because at least someone did care enough about him
to all him his boyfriend and sometimes even compliment while fucking into his
smaller body.
Harry used to be so insecure and young and when he found Alec in bed with
another guy he at first he of course forgave him. Then he saw him in bed with a
girl and then another and then Niall forced him into breaking things with the
guy.
Harry was so heartbroken, he felt so useless for a while.
After the breakup the partying was constant, the drinking wasn't only on the
weekends and the meaningless emotion ruining sex was everyday.
Sadness floods his body and Harry tries his absolute best to ignore the
prickling behind his eyes.
He wonders if Louis remembers about the times a year ago when Harry was a mess,
when he was just a burden and so annoying all the time.
Louis helped him so much but unfortunately also made him realise the feelings
actually never left.
When he took care of Niall he took care of Harry too, they went to his house
instead of Niall's or Harry's since they were drunk out of their minds and were
throwing up everywhere. Harry was always a sobbing mess, he was too drunk to
remember why but he will never forget the crying every damn night in Niall's or
Louis' accepting loving arms.
Then he got better. Niall helped him too of course, more than everyone. Now
everything was good, except that it feels like Louis has pushed it all away and
Niall never brings it up either. It's just an old part of their life that will
hopefully be forgotten by Harry too someday.
Harry doesn't feel like he has thanked him enough though about it but it would
be so weird to suddenly bring it up after so many months so he doesn't. He
chooses to push the memories away.
"Everything alright mate?" Harry jumps at the sudden contact, Louis puts his
arm around his shoulders rubbing up and down his bicep.
"Um, yeah? Sorry I just zoned out," he tries to keep his face neutral and not
melt into the warm touch.
"I noticed, I've washed the last two glasses," Louis grins nodding down to the
counter in front of Harry and Harry immediately gets to work, not taking his
time anymore.
"Sorry," Harry mumbles as he puts down the first glass and picks up the other
wet one up quick after.
"Don't worry love," Louis pats his shoulder and drags his hand down slow,
almost lingering. The pet name and the touch makes Harry loose his breath for a
moment, he swallows hard and completely misses the low chuckle coming from
behind as Louis leaves the kitchen.
-
"H, do you think Chelsea likes me?" Niall asks as they are beginning to pull
their pants down their legs after a long chat and a few games of Fifa
downstairs. Harry's are gripping at his thick thighs making it a struggle to
keep his balance.
"Yeah of course, why not?" Harry wonders genuinely, he has seen the way their
classmate Chelsea acts around Niall. The way she laughs at everything he was to
say and smiles way too big and often to be just friendly.
"I don't know, whenever I try to make a move when we're studying or whatever
she never notices or maybe she just doesn't like me like that and decides to
ignore me?"
Harry likes this about them, they can be complete dicks to each other but when
it comes down to it they have a bond as strong as brothers and can talk about
everything.
Most guys they know never talk about stuff like they do, they say only girls
are close like that but to them it's utter bullshit.
Everyone needs someone who they are able to talk about everything with and not
feel judged. Also to vent or simply tell their exciting stories to. Niall is
that person to Harry.
"I think she is just shy or not paying enough attention. You tell me it's when
you are studying after all. Maybe she is unsure about your feelings too?" Harry
suggests and pulls off the band shirt off over his head throwing it on the
ground by the spare bed that was bought by their family since Harry stays there
so often. He will pick the clothes up first thing tomorrow morning.
"Maybe, I just hope she feels the same way. It's been a while since it was more
to me than just sex, y'know?" Niall asks from under his covers and sighs deep.
Harry knows. He feels the same way. Last one was Alec, well, except for Louis
but it doesn't count.
He has had a crush on Louis for many years now, since he was fourteen or
younger. It was just a thing for him that clicked. He knew he was gay when he
was much younger but then when he started to explore his body more and thinking
about it Louis was the face to always pop up in his mind. Whether it was in a
normal context or in a dirty one.
Louis was just always there. Since then he has had this crush that never went
away. Even when he fell for another guy and even when he let random guys fuck
him every night or day after. Even when he thought it was gone, it never
fucking was.
"Yeah I know, I know," Harry answers and smiles a smile that is probably barely
even noticeable.
"Let's go brush our teeth, c'mon," Harry takes Niall's rougher hand in his and
pulls him up.
Niall groans in protest and Harry just drags him to the bathroom giggling all
the way. Just like when they were kids. He loves Niall just as much now if not
more.
***** Two *****
"Hurry up, I'm going back to bed," Niall says as he leans against the counter
by the sink.
Harry nods and tries to say okay even if it's completely incoherent because of
the baby blue coloured toothbrush stuck into his mouth. Niall grins and pats
him on the shoulder, pushes himself hard from the counter and hurries out.
Harry always brushes his teeth for a longer time than Niall. It's not that
Niall brushes them very little or Harry very much it's just the way it always
turns out.
They both are feeling very tired after the Fifa and the endless chatter. It's
just never enough for them, they are around each other all the time but still
they never get tired or lack things to talk about. Niall is the only person
Harry knows that he feels that way about.
They had rushed up the two flights of stairs and raised their voices only a
little to say goodnight to Jay. Bobby was out of town for work but would be
home by lunch tomorrow and Niall was excited to see his dad again after only a
few days, just like when he was a little kid.
A familiar short boy steps in not even noticing Harry and now it's him who is
jumping from being surprised.
"Shit, your scared the crap out of me!" Louis screeches and Harry tries to not
laugh so he doesn't choke or spit everything out, that would be gross.
"You find it so hilarious don't you, you twat. What if I just died from a heart
attack?" Louis tries to act serious with his face scrunched up and his fist
flying in Harry's direction.
Drama queen. Is what Harry is trying to say as he rolls his eyes. But Louis
doesn't understand it one bit so he just shrugs and takes his toothbrush and
paste.
"Who stole your clothes?" He raises an eyebrow at Harry and smirks the best he
can with the toothbrush in one cheek.
Harry feels exposed as he remembers going to brushing his teeth in only briefs.
The blood rushes to his face that gets redder than red. He hates it, he hates
how easy he blushes.
It doesn't even have to be about Louis. Sometimes he blushes over absolutely
nothing and it's so embarrassing.
"Aw did you get flustered now?" Louis teases, he does that often but somehow
it's more casual and more often today than in the last couple of months. He
talks to Harry more than usual over all.
Harry leans forward, spits and fills his mouth with water. Spits it out too
before he looks up again.
He isn't stupid, he isn't blind. Louis is watching him up and down, watching
him as he bends over and opens his mouth so the water fills his mouth up.
Harry isn't sure if he should cover himself and hide or if he should continue
and be proud that Louis is checking him out.
He wants to not be a baby for once so he simply straightens his back and
pretends like he doesn't notice Louis' eyes darting in the other direction as
quick as possible. Nor the blushing that for once isn't on Harry's face.
He feels a grin grow on his lips because Harry is sure it was in a positive way
Louis looked at him, he feels his stomach twist.
Louis spits now too and washes his face before drying it along with his hands
in a towel hanging on his left side.
"I know you have a crush on me," he says then like it's the most casual and
normal thing to say.
Harry stills, he stares straight ahead with wide eyes. He doesn't dare to move,
he feels so embarrassed and scared and most of all, pathetic. Because Harry is
only an eighteenth year old kid in Louis' eyes. He must've noticed his childish
behaviour and catched on.
Is this when he is going to kindly beg Harry to stop being a creep and weirdo
and even thinking that's has a chance with him? Louis is kind and would never
be mean to Harry but maybe he has had enough of Harry's stares and blushes and
honestly weird conversations.
"Breathe Harry, it's ok," Louis says softly and rubs his back, he isn't looking
at Harry he is looking at them in the mirror.
Harry likes the height difference, it looks cute.
"So, yo-you don't think I'm, that I'm pathetic?" Harry sighs and fiddles with
his fingers nervously.
"No," Louis drags out quietly and to Harry it looks like concentrating. He has
got this crease between his eyebrows and he doesn't look present.
"I think it's cute," he then nods and smiles bigger. "Yeah, not pathetic, just,
cute,"
Harry doesn't know what to think about it all. Dogs are cute. Babies are cute.
Not eighteen year old boys.
But he decides it's better than pathetic at least. At least it's cute.
"When- how di- do you know?" Harry stutters even when he tries his best not to.
Swallowing hard, closing his eyes and trying to concentrate on the words he
wants to say. With no luck.
"Well, it's kind of obvious really. Also you are a completely different person
around me than with others and I don't think it's because you dislike me,"
Louis tells him while slowly dragging his fingers up to Harry's neck.
"I'm sorry?" He doesn't know what he is apologising for but he just does. Harry
feels like that's the best thing he can do right now.
"Don't apologise, you can't control your feelings,H," Louis assures him and
Harry feels a little better.
Louis' hand drops and he backs away, his eyes flickering all over the room.
"Better go, Niall is waiting for you," he smiles but this time it's only a
small smile that fades as quick as it's noticed.
"Yeah, g'night,"
-
Shots. People. Laughs. Screams. Smoke. Yells. Tears. Burning. Focus. Focus.
Focus.
Harry's eyes fly open and his lungs fill with air after what feels like
forever.
Nightmares did happen quite often, he never understands what they are about.
It's often quick really unfocused and shaky clips of people and sounds.
They always make him feel as scared and uncomfortable even if Harry doesn't
know why.
He is so happy when he finally gets back to his senses and remembers he is at
Niall's.
He stands up from the spear bed and walks over to the other side of the room
where Niall is sleeping peacefully.
"Ni?" Harry whispers and pushes Niall to the side earning a groan.
"Niall," he raises his voice a little but not too much. He shakes him lightly
until the eyes open and he drags his palm over his face.
"Yeah?"
"Can I?" Harry simply asks as he points down to Niall's bed. He always feel
safe when he sleeps with others.
"Wha- oh,yeah 'course," Niall says raspy and relaxes again when Harry climbs
in.
It's not weird, it never been weird. They have always been the close friends.
"Something wrong?" Niall asks and even if Harry can hear the desperation to get
back to sleep he appreciates that Niall always asks, to make sure.
"Yes, it was only a nightmare," Harry answers with a breathy laugh and turns
his back to Niall.
"Good night, H," Niall says and massages Harry's scalp for a moment. That
always, always relaxes Harry. Makes him feel calm and safe.
The fingertips leave his tangled curls and Harry sighs pleased before letting
himself fall asleep again.
-
"Guys, mum is away getting Bobby at the airport so she said you can order
pizza. What do you want?" The sudden voice speaking to him wakes him up. Harry
groans and squints to adjust his eyes to the light.
Niall as expected doesn't notice anything and just sleeps on.
"What time is it?" Harry asks and cringes internally at the little voice crack
by the end of the sentence.
"It's pretty early, ten I think?" Louis says almost questioning himself. Harry
just wants to go back to sleep, he doesn't want to eat pizza right now. He
doesn't want anything.
Except maybe talking to Louis.
"So, veggie as always for you? And a pepperoni for the basic bitch over there?"
Louis asks and they both chuckle. Harry feels warm inside, Louis remembers his
order.
"No thanks, I just want to sleep didn't really have a good one so we will order
ours later, thanks," Harry smiles softly and Louis nods.
"Okay, well I need to go meet Liam for some furniture shopping so I'll see you
around, yeah?" Harry kind of wishes he could go furniture shopping with Louis.
They could walk hand in hand through many stores and all aisles looking at
everything for their own apartment. That would be so nice.
Harry nods and waves goodbye as Louis closes the door after himself and heads
out.
Harry falls back asleep with the thoughts of having a little apartment only for
him and Louis.
***** 3 *****
"Are you sure you feel like going? We don't have to you know," Niall assures
Harry as he stands in front of the tall mirror by the door in his room.
His hair is a total mess, like always but somehow way worse and his clothes
look either too tight or too loose. Everything just looks wrong, Harry groans
loud and Niall raises his eyes from where he is seated at the end of Harry's
soft bed.
"I'm sure, if I only could get a hold of this mop of hair. I look like shit,"
Harry complains just like he has done for an hour now at least. Niall laughs
under his breath and pushes himself up on his feet.
He grabs something from the closet before walking up to Harry again and holds
his hand out. He holds two items in his hand stacked on each other. One being
Harry's old snapback and the other a simple black hat.
Harry takes the both from Niall's warm hands and takes turns to try them on to
see how they look on him.
After an hour of trying on different outfits he finally went with black
skinnies and a simple band tee. The black hat does not match the clothes at all
so Harry puts on the dark blue snapback backwards and throws the black hat to
the ground on the big pile of clothes he has created.
"You look great, mate," Niall pats Harry on the back and nods approving. Harry
thinks the snapback does the trick for his unruly curls and he smiles at Niall
in the mirror.
"Thanks," Harry says, both for the compliment and for knowing exactly how to
save the day like always.
"Now let's go, party already started thirty minutes ago," Niall picks up his
keys from the drawer and Harry his phone and home keys.
It has been quite a while since they went out partying. It's not like something
big happened that made them not want to go anymore it just kind of happened.
One day they were having the time of their lives getting wasted and flirting
and the next they realised they should slow down a bit and focus on more
important things. They would have plenty of time to party all they wanted when
they were older.
Or maybe, Harry thinks, maybe he had finally gotten over Alec and his heart was
finally not in a million pieces anymore so he didn't need the alcohol or the
meaningless sex to numb him.
Harry chooses the first over the latter, it makes him sound and feel more grown
up and not so ridiculous.
They are going though, after six months or so, they are going to a party. It's
one of those big birthday parties where nobody knows anybody, just like the one
he met Alec at. Harry is nervous of course, because what if things will remind
him Alec and he falls down the hole of sadness again and doesn't get up again.
He is not all too nervous though, thanks to him knowing that running into Alec
again is near to impossible.
Harry remembers being at one of the many parties Niall and he went to and they
ran into him. Alec was being so nice and Harry felt whole again somehow after
such a long time. Harry remembers that Alec talking to him again and being nice
made him feel not so worthless as he thought he was. It was a great night.
They catched up on things, they got drunk together again. Harry of course with
his bad luck doesn't remember all of it, he is sure he passed out some time
during the night as it's mostly a blur.
But what he does remember and will never forget is the shit feeling when he
heard the news from some random friend of Niall that from out of nowhere only a
week later Alec was gone, he had left the city. Without a word to anyone other
than those friends saying he was leaving. Harry had felt so heartbroken once
again.
Of course Harry got over that too but he still doesn't know why Alec left like
that when things seemed so good for him. Although Harry wasn't sure he wanted
to know either. It was in the past and he had finally moved on, no need to
stress about it.
-
Niall parks his car outside of the house where the party was at. The house is
big and decorated with lights and people are walking in and out of it like
nobody's business. Houses where parties like these are held are always big and
the alcohol is always good. Maybe it's worth coming here after all Harry thinks
as they step out.
"Who's birthday was it again?" He asks and takes off his snapback only to
ruffle the messy curls and put it back on pushing them out from his face.
"Zayn's, he's turning twenty-something I don't know exactly," Niall explains as
they enter the front door and push themselves past two guys all too drunk
already.
The cold is replaced by hot and smoke filled air filling their lungs.
It's an odd but familiar and strangely relaxing feeling to be back at a place
like this again.
He adjusts his eyes to the dark hazy room and the purple and blue lights
filling the house. They don't even get to the next room before plastic cups
almost filled to the brim with some mystery drink are pushed into their hands.
They start drinking without second thought and socialising with whoever greets
them.
"Names Nathan," he grabs Nathan's big and warm hand and shakes it, he's got a
firm grip that's for sure.
"Harry," he smiles and nods. "Oh, and this is my best mate, Niall," he grabs
Niall who is talking to some girl by his collar of the button up and puts and
arm around him.
"Nice to meet you bro," Niall greets and smiles as bright as always.
"How do you know zayn?" Nathan asks them and Harry doesn't know if he should
feel uncomfortable or flattered as Nathan barely looks away from him. Looking
him up and down with an almost smug look on his face.
"We don't, we met him at a party a long time ago and exchanged numbers. Then we
got a text that it was his birthday and he was throwing a party," Harry shrugs
and smiles a halfhearted smile.
The boy? Man? Whatever, he looks attractive honestly. Very much so, he has
blonde hair tucked behind his ears and cheekbones as sharp as a knife. He is
very tall, and has broad shoulders. He is just very attractive but he is no
Louis.
Harry almost groans not only internally but also out loud at the frustration.
Why won't he ever stop thinking about goddamn Louis? He isn't anything special
really. He's just a pathetic crush that Harry could never get and for gods sake
he is Niall's step brother.
"Oh, I've known him since we were in middle school. Great guy," Nathan nods and
looks away from Harry finally to look around the crowded room.
There are a lot of people here, some teenagers and some in their twenties. It's
just like a few years back.
By now he can't help but feel kind of uneasy with his surroundings. It's been
such a long time and he feels weird about being back. Like he is doing
something forbidden.
He pushes that thought as far back as he can and tries not to focus on it at
all. Instead he drinks up the last sip of whatever he was given earlier.
"Speaking of the devil," Niall laughs and nods towards the male walking up to
them. He is a familiar face but Zayn still looks nothing like before. His head
is shaven and there are new tattoos scattering his body.
They look cool and hot on his golden body but nothing like on Louis. Louis
looks like both sex on legs and like a kitten and although that's the most
horrific mix it's the only Harry wants anything and everything with.
"Hey mate, long time no see," Niall goes in for the big bro hug of course and
Harry comes back from his little zone out to hug Zayn too. He is warm and
smells of both alcohol and smoke.
He wonders why Louis never smells of smoke. Well not to this extend at least,
Harry can usually smell some trace of smoke on his clothes but he still smells
like the most heavenly creature walking on this earth. A mixture of vanilla and
cologne and just clean.
"Where have you guys been? It's really been ages!" Zayn exclaims and jokingly
pushes Harry who laughs a forced laugh.
"We kind of stopped," Niall shrugs and grabs another cup from someone walking
by. The girls raises her voice at him and he just looks away and whistles like
he is innocent. This makes Harry laugh for real, his friend is a total dipshit
sometimes.
"Stopped what? Partying?" Zayn looks between them with wide eyes. Like they
just told him they invented a time machine or some other miracle, this guys is
into it way too deep.
They nod slowly and Niall nudges him with the elbow to offer Harry a sip or two
of his drink which he doesn't turn down.
"Wow, you must've lost your minds. But, good for you," he smiles and pats them
on their backs, almost like he is congratulating them for an accomplishment.
It's all just weird if anything.
"Well we better get going, we promised some lads we'd go hang out with them,"
Zayn smirks and wiggles his brow. Nathan nods and takes another gulp from the
Beer bottle that looks so small in his hand.
"See you around, happy birthday," they tell him as they walk away and Nathan
only follows not forgetting a little wave to them both but probably more to
Harry.
"You think Nathan's into dudes too?" Niall asks and begins to walk away from
where they had been stood for a while now. The music gets louder and Harry
assumes they are by the living room.
"I don't know? Maybe?" Harry is unsure about it. Yes, Zayn is into guys and him
and Nathan had promised to go hang out with some, whatever that meant. Also he
couldn't get his eyes off of Harry but if there is anything Harry dislikes it's
labels and putting people in boxes so he decides to leave it at that.
-
The phone wakes him up and he groans loud. He just fell asleep after an hour of
twisting and turning in his bed.
It was either too hot or too cold and if it was just right he needed to pee and
when that was done Liam called from the pub telling him that 'he would not make
it home tonight because he had found a super cute girl he was going home to'
and he just wanted Louis to know.
Then, when he fucking finally had fallen asleep the bloody phone decides to
ring. Why didn't he put it on silent?
He sits up and fumbles under his pillow to find the phone, it takes a second or
two to adjust to the bright light from the screen making his eyes water a
little.
'Nialler' is calling so he picks up quick.
"What's up lil bro?" He sighs and asks, if it were any other person he would've
gotten mad or at least irritated with them, but this is Niall and he loves
Niall.
"Um. Im so sorry Lou," Niall beings very low and sounds oddly apologetic.
Louis can't help his heart beginning to race in his chest. What if something
has happened? Why is he apologising? There are a hundred questions running
though his head and he hasn't the time to wrap his head around them and his
extremely tired mind before Niall is speaking again.
"Can you please come pick me and Harry up? Please Lou, I promise I'll do wh-
" Niall babbles on but Louis is already out of his bed and pulling on his
sweats he had thrown on the chair in the corner earlier.
"Of course Ni, I'm on my way, where are you?" He runs down the stairs and grabs
a hoodie that's hanging by the door on his way out.
He locks his front door and runs down the stairs and then out to his car faster
than ever before, well faster than in a while.
Last time he stressed his much must've been when Liam fell at work and sprained
his ankle and he needed help or when Niall and Harry got wasted before and
called for help.
"Come pick us up by the gas station you used to," Niall sighs exhausted and his
words come out slightly slurred.
Louis does hope he has only drank a little and isn't injured in some way. He
could hear people in the background and some thumping familiar to music so he
really wants it to be a party and nothing serious.
Yes, he can grow tired of being the one who is babysitting them and getting
them when they get into trouble or whatever but he would never let them down
and not do it. He loves them both so, so much, Niall is like his brother by
blood and Harry is, well, Harry.
He has always been something special to Louis, something just out of the
ordinary. He is so good hearted and such a good guy, he doesn't deserve any of
what he already has been put through. Not any of what he remembers and
especially not what he doesn't.
The drive is quick and he parks by the gas station just in time as he sees
Niall struggle carrying a passed out Harry in his arms. He rushes out of his
car and sprints up to them.
"What happened?" He asks a little out of breath and takes the heavy boy from
Niall's tired arms. He is very light for his height, he is a little bit taller
than Louis and growing, soon he will be towering over him.
"You know, um, we kind of, we went to a party and Harry got beyond wasted. I'm
sorry I know I should've stopped him when I began noticing him getting out of
control but he just, he was so happy and enjoying it and- and I just couldn't,"
Niall's words are much more clear than on the phone but he is stuttering, he
thinks Louis will throw a fit and tell on them. He should know better by now,
Louis isn't that uncool.
"It's okay Niall, I understand," Louis smiles and turns to walk towards the
car. He opens the door to the back seats and lies him down carefully.
Harry's snapback falls off and his damp curls are attached to his forehead.
Why, why the fuck is he so beautiful?
His lips are wet from saliva and it's dripping down his chin. His cheeks are
flushed from the alcohol and cold probably and his lashes brush his beautiful
cheekbones.
No, beautiful is and understatement. There aren't words enough to describe
Harry Styles.
He sighs deep and steps back to slam the door shut and walk around to the
drivers seat.
Niall is already seated in the passenger seat with the belt on waiting for
Louis to drive wherever he feels like.
"Let's get home," Louis starts up the car and pats Niall's knee and doesn't
miss him stiffen.
"To my place, don't worry kiddo," he nudges Niall's shoulder and hears a
released sigh leave his lips.
-
"So what happened?" Louis asks finally after a short and quiet drive and after
he carried the tall boy up the stairs to his and Liam's apartment.
Thank god he isn't home tonight, it would be hard to explain why the hell he
agreed to it and drove out to get his brother and his drunk best friend this
late. He looks at the clock on the wall over the sofa. At four am to be exact.
"Well as I said, we went to a party. We made friends with Zayn's friends and
Nathan who by the way was clearly into Harry wanted to play seven minutes in
heaven and so we did that with a bunch of guys and girls. Of course it's Zayn
so he got drinking into the game somehow and Harry well, he just is shitfaced
now," Niall laughs awkwardly and Louis just nods trying to comprehend
everything.
Just a normal party then. Louis just hopes to god nothing bad happened when
they played. It could go so wrong with those kinds of games.
He almost want to hit himself in the face, he can't believe he out of everyone
is thinking of consequences around parties and games. He used to be like that,
he used to be Harry. Getting drunk and not caring about anything.
He did get better obviously. So did Harry and Niall so it's a little confusing
as to why they are back here after a year of being sober enough to handle
themselves at least.
"So he just passed out or?" Louis asks and walks over to the kitchen to get a
warm wet cloth to dry Harry's face a little. He seemed so hot and sweaty when
he carried him from the car. He has been mumbling and whimpering since they
left the gas station and Louis is all too familiar with all of this.
"Yeah, I called you immediately, you always help and know what to do. Thank you
Lou I don't know what I'd do without you," Niall hugs him as tight as he can
when he comes back with the wet blue cloth in his hand.
"No worries, everything for my brother," Louis laughs it off and walks over to
the sofa where Harry is turning around looking displeased and worried almost.
He pats his forehead with it first and although the sounds don't stop though
they do sound less bothered.
"Lou," he breathes out whining and it startles both Louis and Niall. How could
he know? He hasn't even opened his eyes yet. It's maybe and automatic response
from when this happened pretty much every weekend, he just knows the one who is
there to take care of his is either him or Niall.
His eyes flutter open and Louis doesn't even bother to back away from his face.
He just stares down and blues meets greens once again. It makes his stomach
flutter even if he would never admit it to anyone.
"Hey," he smiles his warm smile that always shows up on his face whenever Harry
is around. He just makes him happy.
"I-I'm gonna," Harry sits up as his eyebrows furrow and he groans holding his
hand over his mouth and tummy.
He will throw up any second. Louis panics shooting glances all over the room to
figure out what to give Harry to be sick in but it's too late. Harry's vomit is
all over Louis' hoodie and sweats and Harry breathes heavily trying to collect
himself.
"Shit, I'm- I am so sorry," he exclaims and looks up in panic and embarrassment
when he has registered what has happened.
"Don't worry," Louis assures him because really, it's fine. He rubs soothing
circles on his back and watches Harry relax slowly by the touch.
"Um, I think you need to get changed," Niall clears his throat and Louis closes
his eyes to breathe in for a second before looking at Niall who smiles
innocently at them both.
"No shit you bloke," Louis rolls his eyes in a teasing matter and gets up from
the sofa even if he would like to stay like that comforting Harry forever.
He leaves to his bedroom and grabs the biggest Tee he owns which even is big on
Harry. Well it was when he last borrowed it. He grabs some oversized sweats and
a hoodie he has stolen from Liam to Niall and goes out once again.
"Here you go, I'm getting into the shower. Goodnight," he smiles at them and
pushes his long hair out from his eyes.
"Good night," Niall grabs the clothes and hugs Louis.
"Good night, stinky," Harry teases and sounds extremely tired and raspy.
"Hey, it's because of you, you little shit," he ruffles Harry's curly heavenly
hair and walks to the bathroom.
God does he love them.
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