Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1369705.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Underage
  Category:
      Multi
  Fandom:
      Supernatural
  Relationship:
      Dean_Winchester/Sam_Winchester, Dean_Winchester/Sam_Winchester/Other(s)
  Character:
      Dean_Winchester, Sam_Winchester, You, Reader
  Additional Tags:
      Sibling_Incest, Weecest, Wincest_-_Freeform, Episode:_s09e09_Holy_Terror,
      Spoilers
  Series:
      Part 3 of Trinity_Verse
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-03-26 Words: 5843
****** Conversations You Never Heard ******
by ImpalaDreams_(impaladreams)
Summary
     A summary of the previously established relationship between Sam and
     Dean in Midnight_Snack from youth to present. Told through
     conversations you were never privy to.
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
"Damnit, Dean. The kid is nine years old. He can sleep in his own bed."
That's the end of the discussion.
Neither of them sleep that night though. Dean presses his pillow tighter around
his head to block out Sam's choked sobs, all hyperventilating and sniffling. He
still doesn't sleep though, knowing his little brother is in the bed next to
him, just a few feet away, and crying. Crying over him and not being allowed to
sleep next to him. Dean knows he just wants someone to hold him, comfort him,
make him feel not alone. Dean misses him and the familiar comfort he feels when
Sam is close to him too. But he's more afraid of John and the way he set his
jaw and glared at them both. So Dean rolls over and pretends like he can't hear
Sam.
~~~~~~~~~~
A week later, John's gone on a hunt and Dean is left in charge. He's reading
comics while Sam watches tv and doesn't even realize Sam's in the room until
he's standing at the foot of Dean's bed.
"Dean, can I?" he pouts.
"Dad said no, Sam," Dean says but Sam is already crawling in and kicking his
legs under the covers.
"I won't tell," Sam says and it comes out whispered and needy and Dean can't
say no. He just sighs and puts his arm around Sam and lets him cuddle up to him
while they read.
~~~~~~~~~~
Sam is fifteen and still sleeping with Dean whenever John is away. Dean knows
it's weird, knows he should have put an end to it a long time ago. Sometimes
though he thinks he needs to feel Sam next to him as badly as Sam needs to be
there. But this morning it's all a little too much for Dean. It wasn't like
they hadn't ever woken up in each others' arms before. And it's not like they'd
never had morning wood before. But this morning there's a combination of both
and it's messing with his head. Dean is flat on his back and pinned with Sam
half on top of him, leg resting between his. It wouldn't be all that bad if
both of them didn't have raging erections. Dean lies there frozen, too
embarrassed to move while Sam sleeps and tries to will away his arousal. Tries
not to think about his little brother's hard on pressing into his hip. Tries
not to think about how much it doesn't bother him, maybe even feels nice with
Sam's leg pressed against his groin. Then Sam starts to stir and presses
himself harder into Dean, rubbing himself against Dean's hip until he's
conscious and abruptly stops.
Sam lifts his head from his chest slightly. "Sorry, I was dreaming," he says
softly, moving his leg off of Dean's erection but sliding it against him while
he does so.
"S'ok. Happens," Dean tries to say but his throat has gone dry. Sam rolls over
onto his back then and Dean sees him fist a hand into his boxers, pulling out
his erection. He averts his eyes as Sam begins to stroke. "What are you doing,
Sammy?"
"I'm jerking off, idiot," Sam responds. "Bet I can get off before you can."
Dean doesn't know why he does it. Maybe it's because he's competitive and he
can't let Sam beat him at anything, not even masturbation. But he pushes down
his own boxers and begins to stroke, focusing on his own actions and watching
his heavy dick already leaking precome onto his stomach. When he glances over
he tells himself it's just to see how close Sam is and make sure he's beating
him. But he doesn't expect to find Sam looking at him, or rather, his dick.
Sam's eyes are fixed, watching Dean's hand move and stroking his own cock in
time. Dean looks down and can't help but feel himself harden even more at the
sight of Sam's fist wrapped around his cock, jerking himself closer to
completion. He turns his head again to watch his face and Sam meets his gaze,
looking him square in the eye and letting out a completely pornographic moan as
he starts to come. Dean orgasms then too, silently releasing across his own
chest and paying attention as Sam's eyes flick down to watch, licking his lips
at the sight.
Dean gets up first, quickly heading to the bathroom, ignoring Sam's pleas of,
"Dean, wait!" behind him.
They never talk about it again.
~~~~~~~~~~
A few months later, Dean and Sam stay up late. Dean's been drinking and he lets
Sam try some straight from the bottle he bought with his fake ID. The motel is
cheap but it isn't the worst place they've stayed while John is on a hunt. The
tv has a channel airing a mix of static and porn and Sam convinces Dean to
leave it on. They're sitting next to each other on the couch with their feet
propped up on a worn out coffee table. The woman on the tv is on her knees with
two guys standing above her. She's eagerly servicing them both, deep throating
one as she jerks off the other. Sam's erection becomes obvious pretty quickly.
Dean laughs softly. "Do you like her, Sammy?" he asks as they watch the woman
on her knees. She slides her mouth off one of the dicks with a wet popping
noise, grabbing it and jerking it as the other guy shoves his dick down her
throat to replace it.
"Yeah, I guess," he answers, preoccupied with feeling himself through his
jeans. "Do you?" He looks up at Dean and then at Dean's growing arousal.
"She's alright," Dean shrugs. "She's wearing too much makeup." He sees Sam nod
in agreement and bites back an amused smile.
Then Sam's hands are at his fly and alarm bells go off in Dean's mind. "Sam,
stop, we can't..."
Sam's already pulling his hard on out of his boxers though. He's longer and
maybe a little thicker since his recent growth spurt. His eyes are still fixed
to the screen while he wraps a hand around himself and starts pumping. Dean
adverts his eyes, watches the way the girl on screen deep throats one of the
guys, choking on his dick.
"That's not really what blowjobs are like," Dean says, more conversationally
than he should maybe with Sam jerking off just inches away from him. But he
knows the kid's never had his dick sucked before, probably his first time ever
watching porn now that he thinks about it, and he doesn't want Sam to get the
wrong idea. Sam makes a "hmmm-ing" noise and Dean's not sure if it's in
satisfaction or curiosity so he keeps talking. "It's slower. Wetter." Sam
definitely moans then and slumps down a little on the couch. "You just lie down
and she works her mouth over you, sliding her tongue all over your head, lips
running up and down your shaft."
Sam's breathing fast and his bangs are starting to get a little damp with
sweat. He rolls his head over and with the way he's slumped over, it falls on
Dean's shoulder.
"And when she takes you down her throat," Dean smiles when Sam's breath
hitches, "it's slow. Not hard and fast like that. She inches the warm, wet
vacuum of her mouth down your shaft, and it makes your toes curl." Sam moans
loudly then and he throws his head back a little. Dean moves the arm his
brother is resting on, sliding it around his shoulder and letting Sam rest
against his chest. Sam works his hand faster, twisting his wrist up and down
his dick. "When she bobs her head up and down like that, it's slower too. Her
tongue works the underside of your dick while she pulls her lips up so slow.
And when she slides her mouth back down, you can feel the head of your cock
pressing against her throat."
Sam's twitching beside him, panting and rolling his head into Dean's chest as
he pumps his cock quickly. He grips Dean's thigh, tightly at first, almost
reflexively, as a shockwave of pleasure jolts through him. Dean's hyperaware
that Sam's hand is just centimeters from where his own cock is resting hard
against his leg through his jeans. His heart starts to pound uncontrollably but
it's not out of any fear or anxiety. Rather, it's that excited-nervous feeling
he gets when he's with a girl, like right before he kisses her for the first
time. He pushes the thought from his mind and keeps talking, watching Sam come
undone beside him. "When you finally come, it feels so good, feeling her suck
it right out of you, catching it on her tongue and swallowing around you." They
both glance at the screen, almost forgotten at this point. Both of the guys are
coming simultaneously across the girl's face. It's getting in her eyes and
dripping off her chin and she's making a mess, spitting out anything that makes
it into her mouth. "Facials are hot, yeah," Dean adds. "But nothing as good as
feeling her drink you down."
Then Sam's hand moves. It's almost imperceptible but Dean feels his fingers
twitch. Sees and feels the slide of a pinky over his shaft, and it takes all of
his self control not to press himself into the touch. "Sam..." he says
warningly.
But Sam is giving his own warning, sliding his shirt up his chest, hips meeting
his hand on each pump and Dean holds his arm tighter around his brother as he
goes rigid. "Dean!" he gasps as his orgasm hits and he shoots his load of milky
white come across his chest.
Sam looks totally spent. He's sweating and panting and sprawled out beside Dean
when he looks up at his brother.
"Can I try?" he asks.
"Try what?" Dean responds somewhat confused.
"Try giving you a blowjob. A good one. Not a porno one."
Dean stays quiet for a moment because there's a lot in that sentence and he's
not sure how to answer it. Not sure how he feels. Because after that show, the
idea of having Sam's mouth on him, is a bit of an overload.
"Are you gay?" he asks. That was a lot easier to deal with than the fact that
his little, jailbait brother was trying to suck his dick.
"No. I like girls," Sam mutters, looking down, distractedly running a finger
through some of the come on his belly. "And you." His eyes flick back to Dean's
to gauge his brother's reaction.
Dean's heart starts the pounding thing again and it's practically keeping time
with the throbbing in his cock. "Sammy, that's not normal."
"We're not normal, Dean."
He's looking up at him with a mix of lust and need and sweat and those fucking
puppy dog eyes Dean can't say no to, could never deny anything. So he leans
down and kisses him. He tightens his arm around him and presses their lips
together, feeling Sam sigh and melt against his mouth. It's an unhurried
meeting of lips, each capturing the other's mouth with his own. Sam's lips are
soft and needy against his, pulling Dean in to him. Dean's mouth lingers until
he feels Sam grab him, wrapping a hand right around his dick through his jeans
and Dean has to pull away.
"I can't, Sam. You're just a kid." He sighs and untangles his arm from Sam's
shoulder and leans forward to grab the remote and some napkins leftover from
their fast food meal. "Clean up. Let's watch some MTV."
~~~~~~~~~~~
They jerk off a lot together. Dean wraps an arm tightly around Sam and they
press their foreheads together, sweating, stealing occasional kisses from each
other as their hands work their own cocks. Dean sucks Sam's tongue greedily,
like he wishes he could suck his cock. Because the most beautiful thing in the
world is Sam when he comes and Dean desperately wishes he could be the one to
make him feel like that. He aches to touch him, make him feel good, be the one
to give him his release.
He's taken off guard one day when Sam rolls over onto him, pressing their naked
bodies together. "Sam, we can't..." but then he feels Sam's cock against his
own. Sam starts to work his hips, rutting against him and making them both moan
needily at the feel of their shafts rubbing together. Sam brings a hand between
them, grabbing them both and jerking them off as he keeps working his hips
against his brother. It's not long before he has Dean coming undone, gripping
his back and moaning out his name as the both explode hot across his stomach,
their come mixing together on his abdomen.
"I wanna fuck you, Dean," Sam whispers to him as he collapses against him,
getting himself sticky in the process.
"I can't. I can't take your virginity, Sammy." He winds his fingers in Sam's
hair and holds him though, and for right now it's enough for both of them.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Dean's been waiting a half an hour for Sam to leave the party. He knows their
dad wouldn't be okay with letting Sam go, but he's out hunting and not there to
argue. If he got to sneak out as a teen, he doesn't see why his 16 year old
brother shouldn't get the chance to as well.
Finally, Sam comes out of the house and Dean turns the key in the ignition,
catching Sam's eyes from across the road. A girl follows Sam out of the house
though and Dean watches amused as Sam stops on the front steps to talk to her.
She's coming on strong. Dean can tell from her body language and he laughs a
bit when Sam shifts uncomfortably. When she stands on tippy toes and presses a
kiss to his lips, Sam politely kisses back, holding her cheek in his hand when
she deepens the kiss.
When they pull apart, he sees Sam's eyes glance quickly his way before focusing
on the girl again. They exchange a few more words before she heads back inside
and Sam crosses the street to him.
"Who was that, Sammy? She was smoking!" he praises when his brother gets in the
car.
"Susie Eiser. She's in my biology class."
"You tap that yet?" he asks, glancing sideways at his brother as he pulls away
from the curb. Sam just shakes his head though. "Listen, she's clearly into it.
You should, ya know, get on that, Sammy."
Sam just rolls his eyes though and Dean drives home in silence.
~~~~~~~~~~~
They're only in town another two weeks but sometime during that span, Sam gets
to third base with Susie. He lets Dean know as much when they're nestled under
the covers, lying on their sides, jerking each other off. "I thought about your
mouth the whole time though," he says, making Dean groan. "God, I want you so
bad."
Dean can't help it then. He rolls Sam over and slides down his body until he's
level with his cock. He's never sucked a dick before but it can't be that
difficult, so he just closes his eyes and does what he knows he likes. He jerks
himself off while he does it. Because he knows if he's still hard when Sam
comes, he won't be able to stop his brother from reciprocating. Not just
because Sam is so eager, but because that's all Dean desperately wants at this
point.
He sucks Sam down though, doesn't even hold his hips when he starts to buck
wildly and moans Dean's name in a litany of praise. He climaxes in his own hand
when the first shot of Sam's come hits his tongue and he tastes the salty,
musky flavor of his brother.
~~~~~~~~~~~
When Sam turns seventeen he stops asking Dean if they can fuck and starts
asking when. He's held out, for two years now, and Dean has to admire his
willpower. Sam's evolved from an awkward, lanky youth and is crashing through
the gate of manhood at an alarming pace. He could pretty much have his pick of
girls. But he holds out for Dean.
Dean keeps turning him down though.
"Is it because I'm your brother?" he asks one day, quietly in whispered tones
because they're at the library researching dad's latest case. Also, because the
old lady a table over reading vintage Good Housekeeping magazines, probably
doesn't want to hear all about their incestuous affair.
"No," Dean answers honestly. They're kind of over that now. Sam summed it up
best when he said they weren't normal. Besides, it wasn't like they were going
to procreate and make genetically fucked up kids. Sam just raises his eyebrows
and makes a face waiting for Dean to expand upon his reasoning. "Your first
time should be with someone special. Someone you trust."
Sam smiles softly then and gives Dean that look like no one else exists but
them. "Dean, I don't trust anyone as much as I trust you. I trust you more than
anyone else in the world." He gives his brother a lopsided smile. "Are you
nervous? Because I looked it up. I know what do so I don't hurt you."
Dean's taken aback then, pulling a face. "Where did you..." but he trails off,
not needing to know where exactly Sam dug up that information. "I'm not worried
about me, Sam. You should just," he pauses looking at Sam's wide, waiting eyes,
"you should lose it to someone you love."
Sam grabs his hand, almost immediately as it leaves his mouth and Dean isn't
ready. He knows the words are coming but he's afraid to hear them. Frightened
of how he'll feel, how he'll need, once it's out there. "Dean, I do love you.
And I have loved you for a very long time." His eyes are soft and endless and
searching Dean's for recognition. "I know it's kind of a first for you to
though so if you're not comfortable..."
He starts to tug his hand away and Dean holds him firmly, pulling him back and
making him look at him again. "No...no, Sammy. I love you too."
~~~~~~~~~~~
Dean can't believe it the first time Sam pushes into him. Not that he can't
believe that it's his brother, or that he's taking his virginity, or that he's
letting another guy fuck his ass. But that it feels so good.
He knows that Sam is the virgin here but he spent so much time getting Dean
ready, making sure Dean was okay, that it starts to feel like a shared
experience. And he supposes it is a give and take of firsts for them both.
Sam pauses after he's inside, bottomed out in Dean's tight heat, and gives his
brother a chance to adjust. "Are you okay? Is this alright? Oh my God, you feel
so good. So, so, good, Dean."
"Yes, yeah, it's good," Dean breathes. "Please...please, Sammy..."
"I've waited so long for this," Sam says as he begins to move, taking Dean's
cock in his hand to stroke in time with his thrusts.
It doesn't last long but neither of them care. It's just a first. A first of
many.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Dean's a wreck when Sam leaves for Stanford. He hides it well though. They've
had this conversation, or some circular variety of it, so many times, ever
since Sam started looking at schools, that Dean could have it in his sleep.
"I just want you to know that it's okay if you date. And, ya know, not just
hookups. You have a shot at something normal. Take it."
"Dean, I don't want anyone else," Sam argues. Dean wants to beg him to stay
then. He wants to get down on his hands and knees and beg and plead and ask Sam
what he's supposed to do to keep him. But he doesn't. Because he knows Sam does
deserve this and he only wants to see Sam happy. Even if it's at his own
expense.
"Well, don't sell yourself short on my account." He looks at Sam's pouty face
and laughs as he puts him in a headlock, kissing the top of his moppy, brown
head. "I'll still be here for you, kid. Don't worry."
~~~~~~~~~~~
Dean stops talking to Sam after he starts dating Jessica. It's not out of anger
or jealousy or any animosity. It's because Sam's happy and he can't take that
away from him. Can't tell him how much he misses him or loves him still or
wishes they were closer. Because he knows his brother and he knows that he'll
come running and Sam deserves more. Sam deserves the world.
When it all goes to shit, it hurts Dean as much as it does Sam. It hurts
because he hates seeing Sam in pieces and would do anything to put him back
together again.
It takes a while but they find their way back together. And from then on out,
they always do. No matter what happens to them, they always find their way back
together.
Except for now. Dean messed up. He knows he did. He doesn't need Sam to tell
him. Again.
Just when he thought they were starting to be in the right, hunting together,
spending a little bit of time together, it all caves in again when Dean goes
for a kiss.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Dean?"
"I dunno, I just...I thought..."
"Think again."
He spares him the speech this time, thank God, because Dean can't listen to him
say they're not brothers, that he doesn't love him, that he doesn't trust him
anymore, not now, not ever. He just watches Sam's back retreat and wishes he
knew what to do to make things right again.
~~~~~~~~~~~
"I just got a call from Y/N," Sam says shortly walking into the kitchen where
Dean's sitting, drinking a beer and reading.
"Oh yeah? How's she?" he responds, not looking up.
"Wondering if we have a safe house she could use in the Kentucky area," Sam
says. He sits down at the table across from Dean. "Apparently she really got
into it in Chicago. She's been camping to lay low but it sounds like she's
about over that," Sam says, waiting for his brother's response.
"What'd she do?" Dean asks, putting his book down and raising an eyebrow at
Sam.
"There was this group of demons terrorizing her home town. Or well, as homey as
it ever got for her. One of them bound an antichrist to him."
"She kill them?" he asks.
"Not the demons. But the antichrist...yeah."
"What? But...how..." Dean's flabbergasted. "She went Gregory Peck on him?"
Sam shrugs. "I didn't really get the details. She was on a pay phone. Wanted to
keep it quick."
"She should stay here," Dean says definitively.
Sam gives an amused smile. "She'll be here in about 12 hours."
"Good. Okay," he says, nodding. "She can have-"
But he doesn't finish the sentence. Because it isn't Kevin's room anymore. It's
just a constant reminder, a big, empty room advertising his fuck up. When he
looks at it, it's just his own lies and betrayal mirrored back at him. And he
knows Sam feels the same. Knows he's thinking about it now as he stiffens and
looks away, turning to get up.
"Sure," Sam says, heading for the door.
~~~~~~~~~~
Dean licks his lips and watches you disappear down the hall with the last of
the bags they helped you carry in.
"Really? She's been here ten minutes, man," Sam says, shaking his head.
"Sorry Sammy, but you can't deny that Y/N showing up all tired and dirty
strapped down with guns and knives isn't hot," Dean replies. He gives Sam a
once over and smirks a bit, remembering what Sam looks like after a hunt.
Sam rolls his eyes. "You're both flirts. You deserve each other," he says
before turning away.
Dean catches the way Sam's mouth tugs back into a reluctant half smile as he
leaves though and it makes his heart pound uncomfortably in his chest for a
moment.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Dean's at Sam's door as soon as he hears you close the bathroom door and turn
the shower on.
"How was 'sparring?'" Sam asks, making air quotes and still watching tv.
"Aren't you supposed to end up in the shower with her?"
"Yeah. I mean, no. I mean..." Dean sighs and frowns and Sam meets his eyes.
"You like her, don't you?" asks Sam.
Dean nods. "She likes me. And you too." He looks awkwardly down at the floor
avoiding his brother's gaze. "I mean, it's been pretty obvious. She flirts with
us both..."
Sam looks at him confused and folds his arms across his chest. "Are you asking
my permission?" The question was cool and incredulous and cut at Dean. He
didn't respond. "For her sake or for mine?" Dean shrugged. "You know I don't
care what you do."
And yeah, Dean knew but maybe he wanted Sam to care. Just a little. "I know,
but I think she does. I mean, I don't think she's gonna pick." Sam looks back
at him, a bit of intrigue mixed with his stoic look. "So you know, if you
wanted to...I wouldn't...I mean, she might be good for you too."
"Are you Susie Eiser-ing me?" Sam asks.
Dean wants to say no. That it's the exact opposite of trying to push Sam away
and onto a woman. Because maybe if they're both with you then they still have
something in common, some bond still holding them together. "Whatever, man,
listen, I'm just trying to help you get laid," he says, brushing off Sam's
comment. "If you're into it, so is she."
He leaves before Sam can respond.
~~~~~~~~~
Two days later, you're at the laundromat in town. Sam sleeps in and Dean's on
the way out of the kitchen as Sam's entering.
"Oh hey," Sam starts, making Dean turn back around and linger by the door. He
stares at the back of his brother's head poking around in the fridge. "I told
her it was okay if she wanted to, ya know, hook up with you too."
"Sammy, did you?" Dean's voice does little to hide his elation and Sam tries
not to look like the cat that ate the canary when he turns back around. "You
dog!"
"Whatever," he mumbles.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Two weeks later Sam and Dean are in the library. Dean sits next to Sam under
the pretense of looking at the same reference book but he isn't getting much
work done. "Can we talk about Y/N?" he asks, placing a hand on the table next
to Sam's.
"Ummm, sure. What about her?" Sam responds, looking up from the notebook he's
writing in. He adds, "She's great," after in case there was any confusion.
Dean nods in agreement with his brother. "Yeah, she's awesome. I like hanging
out with her. I'm glad you both are close too." He glances down at the table
where their hands are almost touching. "Makes me feel close to you again," he
says, sneaking a pinky over to graze the back of Sam's hand.
"Dean..."
"I'm sorry," he says, pulling away. "I just miss my brother." He pushes himself
away from the table. "Thought maybe he might miss me too," he mutters as he
leaves the room.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Dean's drunk. It isn't his usual flask of whiskey and six pack of lager drunk
either. He's slurred words and bloodshot eyes and tripping over his own feet
drunk. "Sammy!" he calls, slipping down the bottom few stairs. He remains
seated at the bottom, resting his head against the cool wrought iron banister.
He starts to nod off until he hears footsteps. He looks up and smiles, seeing
two of his brother in the room that's beginning to spin very quickly. "Hi,
Sammys."
But then he makes that face and Sam sees his stomach lurch. He grabs a small,
lined wastebasket from the side of the room and is next to Dean in an instant.
Dean pukes his guts up into the trash on his hands and knees. When he's done,
he collapses, shivering slightly when his sweaty forehead meets the cold marble
floor. "You look like shit, Dean," Sam says from his standing position where
he's been watching Dean purge.
"Not as shitty as I feel," Dean mumbles in response, closing his eyes to avoid
Sam's judgmental gaze.
"Yeah, well, it's your own fault." Sam sighs and tries to help his brother up
but Dean pushes him away, shakily standing on his own.
"Fuck off," he says, swaying, before Sam watches him take a header down the few
steps to the hallway leading to their bedrooms.
Sam's next to him, holding him up, when he sees the tears. "No, Dean, I didn't
mean..."
"No, you're right," Dean slurs, letting Sam guide him to his own room and
deposit him on his bed. "Every day I feel worse and it's my fault. I know it
is. I know I did wrong. But I just love you too much, Sam." Sam watches as he
pathetically tries to kick off his boots, sighing and helping him when Dean
can't manage. "I'm sorry, Sammy. I don't know how many ways to say it to make
you know it's true. Just tell me what to do, Sam. Tell me how to fix it. I'd
give anything, do anything, for you to trust me again, Sammy. I just...I
can't...I miss you and..."
Dean's still crying and slurring and trying to talk but it's coming out all
muddled and incoherent. He thinks about all those times as kids, how many
nights he held Sam, how they were there for each other in the darkness and how
he'll never feel that again. And he cries until he's a shaking mess and Sam
finally kneels by the side of his bed, taking his head in his hands. "Dean,
Dean, listen to me," Sam says, somewhat sternly because he can't deal with one
of Dean's meltdowns at the moment. "You're gonna be okay, Dean. It'll be better
in the morning. Okay? Just, shhhh." Sam tries, he really does, but he's not as
good at playing the comforter, the reassurer. That's Dean's job. But Dean
quiets a bit and is reduced to silent sniffles, whether because he actually
feels better or because he's just trying to appease him, Sam's not sure.
He gets up though and walks to the door, leaving a sniffling Dean in bed,
shoving head head under the pillow. "Do you still love me?" he asks meekly and
Sam can barely hear him through the alcohol and the pillow. He sighs again at
the doorway and Dean cries harder when he sees the lights go off and hears the
door click shut. But then he feels the bed dip down and Sam scoot up behind him
and he comes out from hiding, lying his head on the pillow but still crying.
"I'm not having sex with you, Dean," Sam says soberly. "And don't even try to
kiss me with your nasty whiskey vomit breath."
"Ok," his brother agrees, because the feel of Sam's arm around him is already
far more than he could have asked for.
~~~~~~~~~~~
A few days later, Sam catches Dean coming out of the shower with just a towel
around his waist. His eyes drift. He can't help it. Never has been able to,
really.
"Like what you see, baby bro?" Dean teases as they pass in the hall.
"Maybe..."
~~~~~~~~~~~
The morning after you all fool around in the library, they don't have time to
discuss anything. "She's going to be pissed," Sam says as they load up the car.
"I'd rather her pissed than dead," Dean answers, his voice low and gruff.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
They're sitting at the bar waiting for their meal when you call. "Can I get
it?" Dean asks.
"She's calling me because she doesn't want to talk to you," Sam says but
doesn't answer the phone and just looks to Dean.
Dean picks up the phone, listening to your info and jotting down Natasha's
number so they can run a trace. "You're a lifesaver. And listen, I'm sorry
about the -- Y/N?" He pulls the phone away and frowns at Sam. "She hung up on
me." Sam scoffs and looks at his brother amused. "What?"
"Nothing. I just..." he shrugs and the corner of his mouth pulls back in a
flirtatious smile. "You're kind of cute when you're trying to get into
someone's good graces."
Dean licks and purses his lips. "Good thing I seem to be doin' a lot of that
these days." Sam looks at him again and Dean can feel his heart in his throat.
"Sam, can we?"
Sam sighs. "Things aren't going to be magically better." Dean's heard that one
before though and rolls his eyes grabbing his beer and glancing around the room
as a distraction. "No, listen to me," Sam pleads and Dean turns his face back
because this is a new part of the speech he hasn't heard before. "I am willing
to work on this with you."
He wants to hug Sam but they're in public and he's trying to act more stoic
ever since his blackout breakdown. "How?"
Sam shrugs a little and shakes his head. "I dunno. It'll take time. But I don't
think we should sleep together now. I think we should wait. That it should be
with..."
"Y/N?"
"Well, if we're starting this all up again, maybe we should start it with her.
She did sorta," he looks a little embarrassed and Dean knows he's about to
admit something big, "bring us back together."
Dean nods. He's okay with that, likes the idea even. He tries to swallow the
smile when he hears Sam say they're back together.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sam holds out on him for the whole trip. They share a bed and maybe there's
some frantic kissing and maybe handjob races don't really count. But Sam stays
firm on the sex thing.
When they pull up outside of the bunker, they wait before taking Natasha out of
the trunk. "She's still pissed at me, man," Dean says, frowning towards the
door. "What if she's over me? God, I want you," he says grabbing the back of
Sam's head and crashing their lips together.
Sam pulls back and puts the breaks on Dean's advances. "Don't worry about her,"
Sam says confidently. "I will deal." He bends down to kiss Dean quickly. "You
put the demon in the dungeon, don't provoke Y/N, and uh, shower well because
I'm going to fuck you good tonight."
Sam gets out of the car before Dean can respond but he sees him smiling as they
unload their duffel bags and demon from the car. And he smiles back. Because
he's next to Dean again. Just where he should be.
End Notes
     I'll also be writing "Conversations You Heard" to fill in the rest of
     the established relationships between Sam/reader and Dean/reader.
     So...stay tuned for that.
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