Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/817618.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M, Multi
  Fandom:
      Homestuck
  Relationship:
      John_Egbert/Dave_Strider, brief_Jake_English/Dave_Strider/Gamzee_Makara,
      Brief_Eridan_Ampora/Dave_Strider, Brief_Jake_English/Dave_Strider
  Character:
      there_r_2_many_2_mention_just_know_that_the_main_charas_r_dave_john_dirk
      jade_jake_bro_etc_etc
  Additional Tags:
      the_main_pairing_is_johndave_but_dave_does_the_do_w_a_lot_of_extra
      people, Threesomes, Orgies, cockslut_dave, Alternate_Universe_-_High
      School, more_characters/pairings_to_come, Anal_Sex, Blowjobs,
      Illustrated, Masturbation, Infidelity, Watersports, the_watersports_is
      skippable_though, Humiliation, 69_(Sex_Position)
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-05-26 Updated: 2013-09-01 Chapters: 8/? Words: 22304
****** Contra ******
by aaronzee
Summary
     There's a reason Dave spends every Friday night slinking around the
     locker room, a dark place with a faulty lighting system and a gross
     sweaty smell that promises him his darkest desires fulfilled.
     Highschool AU in which Dave is the football team's fuck toy.
     !! DISCONTINUED !!
     im sorry but i probably will not continue this for a very long time,
     i have lost interest in homestuck for now and have moved on. i had a
     lot of plans for this so i cant just simply wrap it up right here.
     again, im sorry.
Notes
     i got this idea while i was in the shower ha hoo hua
     yeehaw lets get this herd on the move
     ps i hate beginning stories so sorry if the first sentence is
     godawful and shit
     edit: okay i doodled a thing and added it in here hurhwurhufhghh
     EDIT (8/22/2015): people are still reading this atrocity in 2015.
     incredible. *barfs all over the old art*
     so anyway if anyone else really likes this fic enough that THEY want
     to continue it comment and ill send you my notes on how it was gonna
     end n u can take over
***** chap 1 yo *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
It was a calm, serene evening when Dave Strider arrived at his school, located
just on the outskirts of Houston, on top of a hill that made the school
building look quite ominous on stormy days and an inviting beacon of hope,
promising air conditioning on days when the Texas heat was too much to handle.
However, today the short, skinny blonde wasn’t heading towards the classrooms,
instead taking a left turn and making his way down a worn, beaten up path down
the side of the hill towards the rickety old football field. Dave didn’t
particularly care about sports and couldn’t tell you the difference between a
home run and a touchdown. The only reason he ever bothered to show up to any of
the games held here, and endure sitting in the cold bleachers that always left
him with a numb ass or a bruise every now and then, was the players.
 
He would not deny it; Dave had a boner visible from space for each and every
one of the toned bodies that were currently running around on the field before
him. The promise of tight pants and toned arms was enticing enough for the
blonde to arrive every night once a week, occasionally twice a week if there
was a home game. Unfortunately, if word got out that he was gay as fuck with an
untamed hunger for cock he would be in deep shit, seeing as his school in the
deep south wasn’t the most accepting of places, and not to mention most of the
students there were hardcore Catholics. 
 
That didn’t stop Dave from fulfilling the pact he had made with the football
team last year, when he was just a sophomore, returning to school with a
braceless mouth and a new pair of shades. Back then he wasn’t exactly the most
popular guy, and let’s face it, he’s still one of those kids in the back of the
room no one ever really seems to notice unless it’s to throw a wad of gum or
aim a spitball at. He had an issue where a gang of students, most of whom have
been kicked out by now, would corner him after school and rob him, usually
leaving him bleeding on the ground. It’s not like Dave didn’t know how to
defend himself, it was just that he wasn’t allowed to have a sword on the
premises, and when faced with a real life situation where the danger was real,
he just tended to freeze up and all the self-defense he had been taught flew
out of his mind.
 
By chance one day in November, right before Thanksgiving Break, the old team
captain Cronus Ampora found Dave with a bloody nose and bruised ribcage, and
gave him a proposition: be the football team’s community cumdumpster and they
will give him protection. At first, he was disgusted, Cronus was notorious for
being a slimy player, but after a few moments contemplating, he accepted. It
was double win for him, not only would he be safe from the pocket knives and
fists of his aggressors, but he would actually be getting laid.
 
Cronus had graduated and the gang had long since split up, but the football
team decided to keep Dave around for some inexplicable reason, and the blonde
wasn’t about to argue, not when he was getting some sweet-ass dick on a regular
schedule. That was why he was spending his Friday night here, slinking around
and sticking to the shadows as he snuck into the locker room, a dark place with
a faulty lighting system that smelt like a mixture of sweat and barbecue that
lingered even after the end of the season celebrations held each year. 
Dave leaned back against the cool metal of the rusty, faded lockers in the
dimly lit room,  face the epitome of calm and collected, but on the inside he
was a storm of nerves, his stomach flip-flopping more than a boat in rough
seas. His foot tapped an anxious rhythm against the cold stone floor, the noise
echoing in the empty room, betraying his aloof facade. He repeatedly swiped his
tongue across his lips, wetting them nervously in anticipation as his mind
raced with all the possibilities as to what could go wrong tonight. The team
was late, they should have been there by now, what if they bailed on him,
leaving him to be found by someone, he wasn’t technically allowed to be here,
oh god what if they told someone-
 
His train of thought was derailed by the sound of multiple voices calling
cheerfully with loud laughter, and a door creaking open. Dave pushed off of his
perch against the lockers, the butterflies in his stomach migrating and being
replaced by a cool sense of habit, the blonde knew what would happen next as if
it was instinct. With a smirk on his face, the skinny boy turned to great the
rambunctious football team as they tumbled into the room, shoving each other
and joking around.
 
“Sorry for the wait Strider, coach made us run a few laps extra at the end,” a
light, accented voice informed Dave. He turned, finding the quarterback, Jake
English, already naked with a towel slung loosely around his waist, smiling a
friendly little grin at him and clapping a hand on his shoulder. The hand
stayed there, a gentle pressure as the tall, tanned boy turned Dave around and
lead him through the crowd of men stripping towards the showers. “What’s on the
agenda for tonight?” He said, his voice lowering.
 
Dave’s eyes swept over his companion’s toned abdomen, the man was all hard,
powerful muscles and thin, wispy, black hairs, obviously sporty and a hard
worker. A slight shiver went up Dave’s spine when his mind drifted to thoughts
of him pinned down underneath him, his large hands pressing down and bruising
him. Looking back up at Jake’s face, he replied in a slow, indifferent drawl,
“Whatever’s fine with you, I’m up for anything. We can just do the usual thing
where I blow a couple of you while someone fucks my ass.” The shorter blonde
shrugged, an extremely casual gesture for someone who just said something that
could get him a suspension and twelve hours of penance if the school ever heard
him say that.
 
“Fantastic!” He winked and gave him a hard slap on the ass, moving into the
showers to start turning them on. 
 
Dave had to force himself to move slowly to keep up his casual act of
nonchalance as he fumbled to get all of his clothes off, the other team members
making their way into the showers, greeting him and making dirty remarks that
made him shiver, growing hot under the collar he struggled to pull off. Finally
just as naked as the rest, he sauntered into the showers.
 
A blast of warm air and steam hit the blonde as he stepped inside the cavernous
room. It was one of those communal showers with multiple shower heads and no
dividers, completely defeating the idea of privacy. The tiles alternated in a
pattern of white and pale seafoam green. The room reminded Dave of that one
scene in The Goonies when the gang was pulling on all those underground pipes,
causing the knobs in a shower similar to this one to disappear into the walls.
 
Dave had been coming to these football practices once every week for at least a
year, and by now, Dave knew each of the football players in ways no one could
hope to, and could identify each of them if shown a dick pic on a phone or
Facebook cover photo of just their abs. However Dave noticed that tonight he
recognized all but one.
 
He was tall, at the very least half a foot taller than Dave, and his skin was a
few shades lighter than Jake’s. He had fluffy, messy black bed head and the
deepest blue eyes Dave had ever seen hidden behind square glasses. He was slim,
yet toned, a runner from the looks of it, and he held his arms around himself
in an attempt to cover up, a stark contrast from the way Dave waltzed in with
it all out there for show and tell, obviously self conscious. He must be a new
player that Dave hadn’t met yet, it being the first practice of the season,
after all. Dave put his hands on his hips, pursing his lips and sweeping his
eyes up and down his body, examining him like a potential buyer at an auction.
Dave paused on his face, and oh boy howdy, the breath was nearly knocked out of
him when he saw the way he was biting his bottom lip nervously, gnawing on the
soft-looking pink skin. Naturally, his eyes were drawn to this cutie’s dick,
though all the Strider managed was a glance before he angled his body away,
noticing the blonde’s unabashed ogling of him and subsequently sending a glare
his way, which Dave returned with an eyebrow waggle and a cocky grin.
 
Dave was pulled from his reverie by a hand clamping down hard on his ass and a
wolf whistle resounding from behind him. He grinned and turned around to find
Jake standing there with Gamzee, the stocky defensive lineman with dreadlocks
that put Bob Marley to shame, each with lecherous grins on their faces. Jake
rubbed his hands together and let out a cheerful “Let’s do this,” eliciting
chuckles from a few of the other players standing around showering. The blonde
was more than ready to get this show on the road, wetting his lips in
anticipation.
 
Dave let out a low groan as Gamzee shoved him down to his knees, his leg
hitting the floor painfully as his slender fingers dug into his shoulders. The
skinny blonde’s breathing was already shallow as he leaned forward eagerly and
began pressing light kisses against the football player’s pelvis. He felt
fingers thread into his hair, stroking his head lightly, encouragingly, when he
finally put his mouth on the man’s flaccid cock, lapping at it and groaning as
he felt it start to harden. Oh god, he loved dick so much, he would do anything
to satisfy his insatiable thirst for a cock in his mouth and a dick in his ass.
Dave was an unashamed cockslut, he knew what he wanted and he knew that he was
going to get it. 
 
Dave licked and sucked at the dick in his face, taking the tip into his mouth
every now and then, nipping lightly at the areas around the base and the top’s
of Gamzee’s thighs. He felt a pair of hands on his ass, spreading him apart,
and he shifted, pushing his ass out and spreading his legs apart, his erection
bobbing as he tapped Gamzee’s leg, signaling for him to drop to his knees as
well for a better angle. Dave opened his mouth wider, slipping as much of his
dick in his mouth as he could without gagging, groaning at the taste of skin
against his tastebuds, licking along the underside as he began slowly bobbing
his head. The blonde felt slick fingers push against his hole and roughly push
inside, eliciting a gasp and a needy whine as he popped off of Gamzee’s dick
and pressed his cheek against him, eyes squeezed shut as his body jerked, a mix
of pleasure and pain flowing through him. 
 
Slyly, Dave snuck a peek at the newbie out of the corner of his eye. His face
was bright fuckin’ red, putting tomatoes to shame as he stared with wide eyes
at the scene before him. Dave leaned back, pulling his face off of the man in
front of him and turned to look at him, eyes lidded, and managed to choke out
in a voice that was meant to sound cocky yet came out more breathless and needy
than anything, “Like what you see, babe?”
 
The blue-eyed boy spluttered, flushing even more, as his teammates around him
laughed. “Right, we forgot to tell you about this, John. You can have a go at
him if you’d like.” Jake called good-naturedly at him as he squeezed some lube
on his hand and proceeded to slick up his cock. Dave watched the action,
licking his lips hungrily, unchecked lust taking hold of him for a moment. 
 
John scowled and looked away, grumbling “I’m not gay.”
 
“Neither are we, man, we just know when to accept a free fuck.” Gamzee rumbled,
winking down at Dave. John just snorted and turned away again, trying his best
to ignore the scene in the middle of the showers. Jake shrugged, and turned
back to the panting blonde in front of him, pulling his ass further apart and
pressing the tip of his cock against his throbbing hole. Dave whined, pushing
his hips back as he took Gamzee back in his mouth, relishing the feeling of his
hand in his hair tightening and guiding him farther down his dick, forcing him
to deep throat. He didn’t gag, of course, he was probably more experienced than
the head cheerleader at this. 
 
There was a sudden pain in his backside as Jake thrust in, not bothering to
wait, which receded into a dull ache which made Dave’s dick throb and twitch.
He moaned around the dick in his mouth before pulling off and letting out a
string of curse words. 
 
“Fuck, please, go harder,” he groaned, his fingernails digging into Gamzee’s
skin as he pushed back against Jake’s cock, thick and deep inside of him. He
yelped when he felt him comply, hands gripping tightly into his hips with a
bruising force and slamming him down on him repeatedly, Jake’s breath coming
heavily behind him. Dave was moaning like a bitch in heat, begging loudly for
“more, harder, yesyesyessss."
 
“Shit, okay,” he heard another player move away from the showers and step near
him, too lost in pleasure to decipher who it was, only registering that there
was another dick near his face, the owner rubbing themselves roughly. Dave
opened his mouth wide, his jaw slack, and gripped their dicks together, lapping
the heads at the same time, whining as his eyes squeezed shut in rapture. The
feeling of Jake pounding into his ass, his cock against his insides, brushing
against his prostate every now and then combined with the wonderful feeling of
a cock in his mouth caused a warm tingling sensation to start building up in
his crotch. 
 
“Shit, shit, oh god fuck! Fuck me, cum on my face, please,
pleasepleasepleaseplease,” Dave begged, nearly crying from how good he felt. He
trembled beneath the three men, barely coherent and focused on nothing but
dick, dick, please more dick. 
 
“God, you’d love that, wouldn’t you whore,” one of the two in front of him
groaned out, making Dave mumble out a whine, words beyond him at this point, at
his husky tone of voice. Dave was close, so close, nearly at his release, just
a little bit more, he needed to hold on just a little bit more. 
 
The incessant thrusting in his ass grew faster, more frantic as Jake neared his
orgasm, Dave’s muscles clenching around him as he drew closer and closer. The
blonde reached up and helped the two players jerk themselves, aiming their
dicks right in his face as he moved his hand at a frantic pace, and finally,
finally, they came one by one, thick, white streams of semen splattering and
coating Dave’s chin and open mouth as he moaned and licked it up, hand reaching
in between his thighs and desperately pulling at himself, the intense need to
cum consuming him until he exploded into his hand, biting his lip hard and
groaning deep, long strings of swear words. 
 
He collapsed onto his forearms, resting his head against them, breathing hard
and letting out high pitched yelps each time Jake thrust into his over
sensitive body. Dave nearly went cross-eyed from euphoria when he felt Jake
spill into his ass, the bigger man groaning deep in his throat as he rode out
his orgasm, nails digging into Dave’s pale back. 
 
After taking a moment to catch his breath, Jake pulled out, stood up, and
walked over to one of the shower heads to wash himself off. Meanwhile, Dave
remained sprawled out on the tile, breathing heavily, content and satiated, his
limbs like jelly and his joints nonexistent. He closed his eyes, a small smile
gracing his lips as he basked in the afterglow, reaching a hand up to swipe a a
bit of leftover cum off his cheek, sticking it in his mouth after a moments
contemplation. He hummed pleasantly at the taste then sat up, his breath evened
out enough for him to sit up and see that a majority of the team had left. He
noticed with a smug smirk that the newbie was still there in his corner, still
pointedly ignoring him.
Chapter End Notes
     k so
     id appreciate any kind of feedback on this im kinda iffy about my
     writing??? yeah
     also if u find any spelling errors or grammar fuckups pls tell me omg
***** chpatre 2 *****
Chapter Notes
     ive found that by illustrating this i feel much more motivated so ill
     probably keep that up im gomen for my shitty art though
Slowly, carefully, Dave stood up, his body aching in a way that made him shiver
in contentment. He sauntered over to the unused shower head right next to John,
raising his arms up above his head to stretch out his shoulder blades and back
muscles. He looked down at the red marks around his hips that would be dark
purple bruises come morning, stroking them lightly with his fingertips, lips
quirking up into the tiniest of satisfied smiles. 
 
Dave chanced a glance at the man standing next to him, finding his body still
angled away from him. God damn, he was even more magnificent up close. His eyes
trailed up and down his height, taking in his toned legs up to his sopping wet
hair. He wasn’t a buff  bara monkey daddy like some of the other players, but
he still had well defined muscles on his stomach, a rockin’ bod’ that made
Dave’s toes curl as he imagined his lips all over it. In the middle of his
staring, the boy next to him met his gaze with a glare that put Medusa to
shame.
 
Snorting out a laugh, Dave just turned back to his business, choosing not to
push contact for now, reaching for the conditioner sitting on the ceramic ledge
near the shower knobs. He hummed happily at the feeling of warm water droplets
hitting his back, the water pressure here a million times better than the one
at home, massaging a handful of soap into his golden locks. Behind him, the
last of the football team exited the steamy room, leaving just John and himself
in the awkward silence broken only by the sound of water falling around them.
 
As Dave reached for the body wash and began slathering it all over his skin, he
noticed his newest fuckbuddy stealing quick red-faced glances at him
frequently, a source of great amusement. He let him look, happy to at least be
a source of interest for the other boy.
 
“So,” Dave started, trying to strike up some kind of conversation, slicing
through the palpable awkwardness floating around them. “You a new player?”
 
John flinched visibly, mumbling something too low for the blonde to hear and
turning his head further away, causing him to smirk. 
 
“What, you nervous or somethin’? I know just minutes ago you witnessed me
screamin’ like a whore whilst in the throes of passion upon the floor, but
c’mon babe, I don’t bite. Unless you’re into that.” He flashed the brunette a
lecherous smile, joking around and winking at him from behind his shades.
 
“Hmmph, you wish, gay boy.” John growled grumpily, causing Dave’s smile to
widen, amused. The blonde held his hands up in a defensive gesture.
 
“Alright, alright, I get it. You don’t like me. ‘Hot Blonde Twink Takes it in
the Ass’ isn’t your first choice when browsing Pornhub, you’re more into the
busty brunettes bouncing on-”
 
“That’s not it at all, I just- I don’t get it.” He turned towards him a little,
Dave raising an eyebrow at him, not following. “Why do you let them do that to
you? It’s kind of gross, to be honest.” Ah. Gross. That kind of stung. Dave
shrugged it off as the new player just not being used to him yet.
 
“Well John, it’s all part of an intricate and top secret plan to take over the
United States and replace every male in the world with gnomes in suits-”
 
“Be serious.” He cut off his would-have-been long metaphor with an unimpressed
look.
 
“Fine Mr. Party Pooper, basically the team acts as my bodyguards around school
while in the meantime I act as their personal unpaid prostitute. Just a booty
call away, if you’re in need, I’ll be on my knees. That’s the Dave Strider
motto, baby.” 
 
“I didn’t know that the whole team was...gay.” He spoke that with uncertainty,
and Dave shook his head.
 
“Nah, I don’t think any of them are actually gay, they just like me because I’m
willing to do things their girlfriends won’t. Like how Jane is saving herself
for marriage, I’m the only person Jake gets to fuck, as far as I know, and the
girl Eridan likes doesn’t like him back so he uses me instead of her. Plus I’m
more than ready to get freaky, if you know what I mean.” 
 
“You seemed very, uh, enthusiastic back there.” He bites his lip and turned
towards the blonde a little more, seeming to become more comfortable the more
he talks to him.
 
 
“Hell yeah,” Dave replied casually, closing his eyes and tilting his head back
into the water. “In case you haven’t noticed, I love cock. Like, a lot. And
y’know when I got like three different sweet-ass dicks comin’ at me all at once
of course I’m gonna be screamin’ like a porn star.” John’s face heats up at
that, making Dave decide that a subject change was in order. “So, enough about
me. What position do you play?”
 
“Huh?”
 
“Football.”
 
“Oh, uh, running back.”
 
He let out a low whistle. “No wonder you got the legs of a cheetah. Fuckin’
graceful.”
 
“Ehehehe, yeah...” John trailed off nervously, pursing his lips and fidgeting.
Dave, by now ready to leave the shower, raised an eyebrow at the brunette’s
stiff posture and tense form. He had remained in the same position throughout
that whole conversation, and the blonde guessed that it was still the same way
he had been standing when he had first entered the room. It made sense that the
rookie would be nervous but this was kind of odd. 
 
“Hey are you sure you’re...” Dave took a step towards him, but trailed off when
he saw what the issue was.
 
John’s dick was half hard, struggling to get up all the way as its owner’s
hands shot down to cover himself. “H-hey! Don’t look at me there!”
 
“Relax John,” Dave murmured, his voice growing quiet, eyes trained on the
other’s fingers. “I can help you with that.” Hesitantly, slowly, as if he was
trying not to scare the other boy, he stepped in front of him and rested his
hands on his, eyes slipping shut momentarily as the familiar warm feeling of
lust rose inside of him.
 
“I-I don’t think that’s really necessary-”
 
“Shush.” Dave cut the taller man off in a low voice, gingerly getting on his
knees in front of him, easing his hands away from his cock.
 
Even half-mast his dick was one of the prettiest he’d ever seen. He wrapped his
hand around the base, lightly stroking him to get him up all the way. He was
long, about two inches in diameter, give or take, and felt nice in Dave’s grip.
There was one vein raised along the side, a prominent ridge along the bottom,
and the head was gorgeous, starting in a curved v-shape on the bottom and
leading to a smooth, rounded red-tinged tip. Dave had never salivated over
anything as much as he was now. 
 
Up above John spluttered and gasped, his face flushed and embarrassed. “I, Dave
I- shit, woah there hold up!” Dave was paused in his ministrations by a hand
yanking on his hair (oh god yes that felt great please pull just a little
harder please please) and an insistent, bewildered voice calling his attention
upward as he bit back a groan. “What are you doing?”
 
“Calm down, okay, this is my job.” Dave had never wanted another dick as much
as he wanted John’s, he needed him inside him somewhere, anywhere, just fuck he
was so attracted to this man, his dick was gorgeous. He gently caressed John’s
hips, fingers just under his ass guiding him closer. With heavy lids the blonde
looked up into the sparkling blue eyes of his companion, licking his lips
slowly, not daring to breaking eye contact. 
 
John continued to stutter out nonsense words, fingers fumbling to get a hold of
Dave’s hair, pulling him away and causing a flash of irritation to course
through the blonde. He just wanted to wrap his lips around that pretty li’l
dick and suck him until he was lightheaded. Growing impatient, Dave fought
against his touch, pushing forward and trying to get just a little taste.
 
“Ssstopstopstopstop hold on!” John finally managed to form words, stepping back
and pulling the blonde’s hands away by the wrists, eliciting a whine from him. 
 
“Come ondude, what’s wrong now?” He growled irritably. 
 
“I-it’s just... I... STDs! Y-yeah, that’s it! I don’t want any STDs, I’m sure
you’ve probably picked something up from all the people you’ve been with or
something and I really don’t want to catch anything. It’s not like I’m grossed
out o-or anything, really I’m flattered and all about this but-” John tripped
over his words, beginning to ramble a bit as he spoke a mile a minute while
Dave looked up, deadpan, and cut him off.
 
“Okay, for one thing it’s rude as hell for you to assume that, and I can
promise you that I’m as clean as a whistle. Secondly, just take advantage of
the situation, please!” Sensing that he was going to have a tough time getting
John to comply he played up the theatrics in a last ditch attempt to seduce
him, letting out the most seductive moan he could muster. “God, just please
take advantage of me, defile me, dominate me, force your cock down my throat
until I choke, pleassse.” He purred up at him, shifting on his knees and
spreading his legs apart, hand trailing down the heated skin of his chest,
voice trailing off into a low murmur. “Fuck, let me touch you, you’re so hot, I
need you babe, please please, make me your filthy little toy, your whore.” On
the last word he gripped his hair and thrust his hips forward, keening lightly
and gnawing on his reddening lips. Dave was confident in that he looked like
every gay man’s wet dream.
 
He heard a strangled choke come from John as he grabbed for him, moving out of
reach yet again. “I-i’m sorry, I can’t- Oh god.” And just like that, he dashed
out of the showers and into the locker room, boner and all.
 
Dave felt like a small child, pouting over a lost toy as he sat back on his
heels, watching John rush out with a frown. No one had ever denied him so
adamantly, and fuck if that only made Dave want John that much more.
***** chupitre tres *****
Chapter Notes
     i didnt proofread this sorry for any mistakes if there are any
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Eventually, after turning off all the forgotten faucets in the shower and a
quick wipe down of his own body, Dave stepped out of the warm air into the
contrasting cold of the locker room. The frosty air of the underground expanse
nipped at his bare shoulders and raised goosebumps along his skin as he lazily
dropped his towel and began pulling his clothes back on. He had to move
carefully so as to not disturb his tender ass, Jake had really laid it on thick
that night.
 
After John had run flustered from the showers, Dave had sat there pouting for a
few moments before sighing and halfheartedly getting himself off for the second
time that night, just wanting to get it over with now that his new boytoy had
run away like a bat out of hell. He had idly mused that he could see why he was
chosen for running back.
 
Once his body had once again been put away behind bars, he wandered around,
looking at the mess the team had left strewn about the deserted room. Empty
bags, discarded jerseys, and abandoned socks covered the benches, everything
seemed to have been thrown on the floor instead of in the lockers. The sight
was nothing new to Dave, in fact it was comforting even to see that the usual
routine hadn’t changed at all.
 
Gingerly walking over to the exit, the blonde noticed that one locker door was
slightly ajar, and was actually being used. Grinning to himself, knowing just
exactly who’s it was, he crept over to locker number 413 and peered inside,
quietly peeling open the squeaky metal. The inside of the door was decorated
with a stack of magnetic post-it notes and various colored dry erase markers,
while the bottom of the locker was home to a baby blue bag overflowing with
something that resembled plastic armour. Dave had never bothered to learn the
names of sports gear past helmets and kneepads. 
 
Humming quietly to himself, Dave began unabashedly rummaging through John’s
bag, sifting through until he found something of interest. Socks, shorts,
cleats, a dirty towel, his practice jersey, unfortunately no underwear, and-
oh.
 
John’s mouthguard, shiny, translucent green and a little wet here and there,
brushed against the back of his hand buried deep within the recesses of the
bag. Silly notions of indirect kissing flitted across his mind when his finger
traced over some leftover saliva, sending a thrill through him that made his
toes wiggle. Satisfaction surged through Dave as he pulled it out and ran his
thumb across the edge. Silly notions of indirect kissing flitted across his
mind when his finger traced over some leftover saliva, sending a thrill through
him that made his toes wiggle. Looking around to be sure that no one was around
to witness his thievery, he pocketed it. 
 
To complete his ransacking of John’s locker he did what any respectable person
would do: deface the post-it notes. Picking up the red marker he paused a
moment to think of what to say before he scrawled out a message. To finish it
off, he found a sharp edge poking out of the metal and sliced his finger open
on it just deep enough to bleed. He pursed his lips, smeared his dripping red
fingertip against them, and planted a kiss on the bottom of the note, taping up
his masterpiece and smiling at his job well done.
 
Dave proceeded to slam the door shut then walk out of the locker room and back
on the path at a brisk pace towards his beat up, old, rusted black Toyota. He
hopped inside his baby, lovingly dubbed The Terminal Piece of Shit, and turned
the key twice to get the engine to start, finally rumbling to a steady pace
that made his seat shake. 
 
Once Dave turned on to the main roads, he glanced at the clock above his
rickety old radio, and nearly slammed his foot down on the gas pedal when he
registered 11:36. Swearing under his breath, he sped up a bit, going just a few
miles above speed limit in an attempt to make it home without a hitch. Bro was
gonna kill him. Not that the eldest Strider actually cared about how late Dave
stayed out, it’s just that he liked to give him a hard time whenever he got
home late, seeing that he was seventeen now, and Dave didn’t want to arouse any
suspicion that would lead to Bro snooping around and finding out what the boy
was actually up to every Friday night.
 
Bro and Dave didn’t have the closest relationship. When he was younger Dave had
idolized him, wanted to be exactly like him and had worked his little butt off
at learning swordfighting so he could make him proud. Once he had entered
middle school, however, Dave began to branch off from Bro, and slowly but
surely all of the older man’s shortcomings had become apparent. Bro had his
judgmental moments, a short temper embellished by his chronic alcoholism that
just seemed to be getting worse, and left Dave and his older brother Dirk at
home alone to fend for themselves and find the cash for food on their own for
unpredictable amounts of time. 
 
The only upside to Bro’s absence is that every weekend he usually spent his
time at the local bars and stayed there until the wee hours of the morning,
allowing Dave the opportunities to invite some of his buddies over and get them
out of the house and clean up before Bro returned to evidence that his youngest
brother had a hankering for homo honker.
 
Dirk, the middle Strider brother, head of the schools science committee, first
place winner of the science four years in a row, and candidate for a full ride
scholarship at several college’s for robotics and engineering, was more
understanding of Dave’s predicament. Though he didn’t exactly approve of his
deal with the football team he was willing to leave the apartment whenever Dave
requested, which allowed him to really get freaky without worry.
 
Dave felt his body heat up at the thought of his previous bedroom escapades and
quickly decided to change the subject and concentrate on the road to avoid the
third one-way ticket to bonerville of that night.
 
Just a few minutes shy of midnight, Dave’s old truck made it to the cold, moist
concrete parking garage next to his apartment building at last. He leaped out
of the beat up vehicle and briskly walked to the rickety old elevator. The old
thing had a flickering light that cast an eerie mood, something out of a bad
horror movie, and only went up to floor ten, forcing Dave to take another
elevator to reach his apartment at the very top, floor twenty-two. The long
journey was worth it, in Dave’s opinion, since each morning he woke up to a
bird’s-eye view of the frothing, filthy city beneath him, the slums separating
his home from the neatly-trimmed suburbs, and the high-class city beyond that
never seemed to sleep.
 
The elevator doors jerked open accompanied by a tinny “ding,” and Dave stepped
out, coolly evening out his face into his practiced deadpan expression so as
not to arouse curiosity from his brothers, sticking his key into the lock on
their faded vermillion door covered in nicks and scratches from swordfights
gone awry. 
 
Immediately putting his guard up, muscles tensed, Dave eased his way inside the
room, opening the door only enough for him to squeeze past to reduce noise from
squeaky bolts, knowing it was a lost cause for the moment he closed the door
Bro would be there, ready to interrogate and ruffle his hair in that older-
brotherly way that pushed Dave’s buttons until they nearly popped off his
shirt. 
 
To his surprise however, it wasn’t the breeze of a flash step he felt, but
rather the quiet padding of socked feet against linoleum floor coming towards
him.
 
“Hey.” Dirk stood there, hands shoved into his baggy jean pockets in a loose
black wife beater, frowning slightly.
 
“Sup.” The shorter blonde pushed past his freckled brother and made his way to
the couch, where he flopped down and turned towards whatever show was on,
feigning interest when in reality he was hyperaware of every move Dirk made.
 
“You were out pretty late.” He took a seat next to him, back straight and legs
together in an attempt to keep from touching the boy sprawled out over most of
the space.
 
“Yep. What’s it to you?”
 
“Bro’s been gone since six, and I thought we could-”
 
“Sweet, I’ll probably have someone over tomorrow then.” Dave grinned to
himself, still not looking at the older man, who frowned at him disapprovingly.
 
“Who knows when he’ll be back, are you really stupid enough to risk him walking
in on you?”
 
“Sure am.” Dave flashed Dirk a grin, more emotion than he would ever show when
Bro was around.
 
“I was thinking that maybe we could go out and do something together. Y’know,
bro time.”
 
“...Gosh Dirk, I dunno man...” Dave was silent for a moment, stretching
awkwardly. Dirk wasn’t usually one for affection, and usually kept to himself.
The blonde was a bit suspicious, as in the past Dirk had done similar things to
try and get him from seeing his lays, but there was something different about
this, there was something in the tone of his voice that made Dave think that he
wasn’t just being an annoying cockblock.
 
“I’m going to be heading out to college in less than a year, I want to spend
some time with my little brother.”
 
But then again, Dirk was a pretty good actor. That must be it, he just got
better at being persuasive and seeming genuine, that’s all. Dave got up, patted
his brother on his gelled head, and declined without a hint of remorse. “I
gotta say no this time dude, maybe next weekend we can go out for pizza or
something. We can sixth grade it up and even go to the arcade if you want.”
 
Dirk exhaled sharply before relenting and laying down on the space Dave had
given up.
 
Dave made his way down the short, unlit hallway that led to the bathroom and
three bedrooms, turning into the one with an oversized jpeg-crystalized poster
of a Dorito hanging on the front. His bedroom wasn’t all that special, photos
tacked up all over the walls, bed perpetually unmade, clothing piled in heaps
and shoved into corners, video game consoles and computer all stacked onto one
desk in an unnavigable tangle of wires and controllers. 
 
Shucking off his shirt and shoes, Dave sat down in the chair in front of the
computer, wiggling the mouse to wake it up. While he waited, his hand trailed
down into his pocket, absentmindedly fingering the mouthguard still taking up
residence inside. The same warm feeling from before tingled through him. This
time Dave let his mind wander, leaning back in his chair and unbuttoning his
fly. 
 
He thought about how this little piece of plastic had a home inside of John’s
mouth, had touched those sweet, full lips. He was envious of it, wanted to know
how the back of John’s teeth tasted, how his tongue felt sliding against his,
his lips against his skin. He wanted more than anything to feel his dick
against his cheeks and down his throat, his cum splatter against his lips as he
licked it up and swallowed.
 
Dave slipped his pants down to around his knees, pulling the mouthguard out of
his pocket while one hand began squeezing lightly at his exposed and hardening
dick. He brought the precious piece of plastic up to his face, looking at the
teeth marks ingrained in it. Slowly stroking at himself, he brought it to his
lips, took a deep breath, and gently ran his tongue along the edge, gasping a
bit. 
 
He picked up the pace impatiently, putting the whole mouthguard in his mouth,
situating it around with his tongue, making a gross slurping noise. It didn’t
fit his dentition exactly, John seemed to have very large front teeth. Dave
didn’t really care, it was kind of endearing, John was so different from him in
ways he hadn’t considered before. 
 
His hand yanked and pulled at his cock, rubbing his thumb over the top and
smearing around precum as it beaded up around the slit. He moaned around the
mouthguard, a little disappointed that the leftover saliva from John didn’t
have a taste, was overpowered by the bland taste of plastic. He brought his
hand up towards his mouth in a half-assed attempt to muffle his groaning as he
bucked his hips up into his hand, feeling himself drawing nearer and nearer to
release. Fuck, he needed to come, he wanted John to be there, he wished it was
John’s hand instead of his own, he wanted the taller man to whisper dirty
things in his ear, wanted to actively be swapping spit with him instead.
 
At those thoughts he bit down on his hand, letting out a high-pitched whimper
as he spilled over, aiming at his chest in a hazy attempt to keep from making a
mess of the desk in front of him. Coming down from the high, breathing heavily
and slumped down in his chair, revulsion coursed through Dave. He hurried to
take the mouth guard out, flinging it away into his room somewhere, anywhere
just away from him. He rubbed at his forehead, sighing. He was gross,
disgusting, who even gets off while wearing someone else’s mouthguard. 
 
Dave had always known that he got off to rather unconventional things, but it
still didn’t make him feel any better about it, especially when it hit him how
creepy he was actually being.
 
In front of him his laptop interrupted his fit of self loathing, automatically
logging in to Pesterchum and ringing to alert him to multiple new messages.
Chapter End Notes
     so heres the deal
     exam week is coming up so i wont be able to post as often as i have
     been, gomen, itll only be a week-ish break i promise umu;;;;
***** chapter si *****
Chapter Notes
     okay a few things firstly tHERE IS WATERSPORTS IN THIS CHAPTER i know
     some people are uncomfortable with that ( i myself only like it for
     the humiliation part) but yeah you can skip through it if you want??
     Start reading the section after the -- nine paragraph line thingies
     after the picture if u wanna skip it
     yeah thats it
     EDIT: how do you get the pesterlog coding to work??
     edit 2: okay only half of it is working i frunking hate html i aint
     fuckin with it no more
     edit 3: OKAY FUCK FINLALLY I GO TI TALL TO WORK HAPPY PESTERLOG TITS
     THREE AMM
See the end of the chapter for more notes
As Dave lay in bed, fuming silently at the wall, arm wedged between himself and
the bed that would lead to a numb limb sooner or later, processing the
conversation he had ended just a few minutes prior.
 
-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
TT: Dave, dearest, you’ve been sitting online, yet idle for closing in on
twenty minutes.
TT: Usually you’re rip-raring to converse with your favorite cousin, who lives
so far away.
TT: I miss seeing your lovely, plump little face every day.
TT: Seeing as that was eight years ago, I would expect that those cute facial
love-handles are gone now, yes?
TT: ...
TT: Still no reply, even after an insult.
TT: Perhaps it wouldn’t be wrong of me to infer that you may possibly be,
reasoning in that you are a teenage boy with what I have observed as an
unusually high libido, jerking it?
TT: Acquainting your hand with your meat torpedo?
TT: Reeling in the spam porpoise?
TT: Slinging yogurt from your eight-inch spoon?
TT: Beating the meat?
TT: Releasing your arsenal of billions of nano-sized bullets upon the poor
citizens of 1940s London?
TT: Your sperm is the Luftwaffe bombers, and you have lift off a little early
it seems, weren’t the Nazis original plans to bomb Britain at night?
TG: rose
TG: as always its a pleasure to witness your herpes purple text grace my screen
TT: Oh, no, the pleasure is all mine.
TG: i can fuckin sense the smirk from all these miles away
TG: the evil rays emitted from your lips is blinding
TG: millions of innocent citizens are caught on the crossfire of sludge blacker
than the bottom of the marina and the diamonds trench
TG: you are the cause of the apocalypse
TG: its all your fault
TG: fuck you rose
TG: you just couldnt keep your pryin eyes off of my penis
TG: and you just had to wear the ugliest shade of lipstick known to cyberspace
TT: I resent that statement about Marina, she is a wonderful woman, and also
quite beautiful.
TG: ew
TG: lesbian
TT: Ew. Gay.
TG: is there a reason you interrupted your fabulous extravagant trip to paris
to talk to me???
TG: i thought you would be busy with your girlfriend
TG: how are your lips not fused to her muffler
TG: is it the sludge
TG: is it not sufficient lube for you two
TT: I thought you would be happy to hear from me after months of being absent.
Don’t you think about me during your days, and all the advice and psychological
help I’ve given you?
TT: Also, don’t think I didn’t catch that jab at Kanaya, I told you, she has a
condition.
TG: not my fault shes so dry her pubes turn to cacti
TG: anyways
TG: back to the point
TG: why are you botherin me in the middle of a wank
TG: this was one of the best ones ive had in a while and talkin to you is
killing my buzz
TT: So you were masturbating? Glad to know that my intuition is still sharper
than a knitting needle.
TT: What was it about this ‘wank’ that made it so special for you?
TG: oooooooh no
TG: i aint havin this convo with you motherfucker
TG: i can see you rubbing your hands together all evil like
TG: standin over your witches brew all excited to get your knobby fingers into
my sex life
TG: think again motherfucker
TT: I just want to help you, Dave. Look, I’m stepping back from my frothing
cauldron, hanging up my robes and putting my enchanted broom back in the
closet.
TT: The very closet I helped you out of all those years ago.
TT: Now I’m here as your guide on the journey in the real world. The world of
throbbing labia and rock hard cock just waiting for the young homosexual to
discover.
TG: please dont ever mention labias again okay i had more than enough vaginal
parts during sixth grade sex ed
TT: Dave. Concentrate on the wank. Tell me, what were you thinking of?
TG: you are insanely invasive
TG: and also exceedingly creepy
TT: You haven’t had a problem telling me about the adventures you and your best
friend, the penis, have gotten into before.
TT: I have a notebook dedicated to your two’s fantastical capers.
TG: sighhhhhhh
TG: i am going to regret this
TG: SO MUCH
TG: in the morning
TG: just you wait
TT: Yes. I have been waiting for a while now, David.
TG: there you go with the full name bullshit
TG: but okay
TG: so like
TG: theres this new player on the fball team this year right hes like runner or
somethin
TG: and holy shit is he hot
TG: like so hot he breaks the scale of 1-10 hes not even a number
TG: hes got these cute as fuck glasses and blue eyes
TG: these eyes are so blue okay its like uh
TG: what is that one rock everyone loves
TG: sapphires
TG: yeah thats the one
TG: and his face oh man his jaw and cheek bones are shaped in this way that hes
the single most adorable motherfucker especially when he’s all flustered
TG: ive only ever seen him flustered and angry and he is cute no matter what
expression hes got
TG: his lips look rly soft too like most of the guys on the team usually have
lips that are chapped as fuck but this guys nuh uh nope they looked perfect for
kissing
TG: and hes got a rockin bod like listen to me his skin is tanned to perfection
and his muscles oh god feeling him moving beneath your hands is so
TG: its hot okay it was an erotic experience feeling him moving okay i know it
sounds weird but
TG: it was life changing
TT: Sounds like somebody’s smitten.
TG: nah its just lust
TG: like this guys dick OH MAN
TG: dont even get me started on his dick it is gorgeous i just wish i couldve
gotten at least a taste
TG: so yeah like
TG: the wank
TG: i went through his shit after everyone left and stole his mouthguard
TG: and when i was jerkin it i put it in my mouth
TG: uh
TG: is
TG: is that weird???
TT: It’s actually pretty dang creepy.
TG: i knew it im so fucked up
TT: That was partly a joke, Dave, don’t get so worked up.
TT: It’s not creepy that you got off on it, it is understandable that an object
like that could lead to sexual arousal. However.
TT: The fact that you went through his belongings and stole an item that is
invaluable to his ability to play football, is, in fact, creepy.
TG: be more supportive of me instead of shooting me down at every moment god
TT: What are cousins for.
TT: Though I am interested in how strongly you reacted when you first saw this
boy. It’s quite intriguing.
TT: But that can wait until another day.
TT: There was something else i had actually planned on talking to you about.
TG: oh no
TT: Hear me out, please.
TG: no
TT: I’m worried about you.
TG: stop
TT: I know you are completely aware of the dangers that come with having more
than one sexual partners at one time, you’ve taken the courses.
TG: rose
TT: STDs are reaching epidemic levels in America, and I highly doubt that
you’ve been using condoms.
TT: I’m just worried that your sexual looseness will lead to more serious
issues that will drastically affect your future. There is a big difference
between being comfortable with expressing your sexuality and being fucking
stupid.
TT: Tell me Dave, when was the last time you had a serious, long lasting
relationship?
TG: ....
TT: I think that all this constant stimulation is damaging your ability to
relate to another human in romantic ways.
TT: It seems to me that you are using the extreme amounts of sex you are having
as a distraction and way to make up for your romantic impotency.
TT: Do you think that maybe you are unconsciously saying, “I don’t need a
relationship because I am having all this sex.” ?
TG: rose stop flaunting your phd in psychiatry i dont need your help
TT: What are you going to say to the person you love, when you find them, when
they ask you about previous sexual encounters? How will you tell them that
you’ve had sex so many times, with so many people, that you can’t count the
number? What if you have a disease by that time?
TT: I’ve expressed my opinion on the matter many times before, and I’m going to
say it again, refresh your memory.
TT: I advise you to end your ties with the football team. You are being
foolish, stupid, and are throwing so much away. I’m not adverse to you having
sex, you can do what you want with your own body, but how much is too much?
TT: If you still need the protection that the football team is providing for
you then why don’t you just consult Bro?
TG: weve been through this okay i cant fucking talk to bro he wont understand
TG: if he knew hed throw me out on the street
TG: ‘you aint no strider in my eyes’
TG: ‘i dint raise a lil faggot who doesnt know how to defend himself’
TG: what if he was aware of how right he fuckin is his youngest bro is gay and
cant hold his own in a fight and has to pay with his body to keep from coming
home with a black eye
TT: I see this is a very distressing topic for you.
TG: fuck yeah it is im pissed
TG: pissed at you for meddling in my life and pissed at bro for being a judgey
piece of crap
TG: and pissed at myself for everything
TG: god i dont want to do this right now
TT: Don’t stop now, the bandaid is only halfway off.
TG: no fuck this shit
TG: im out i cant do this
TG: i cant okay
TT: Dave, please.
-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --
 
And now here he was, flung on top on his mattress, stewing in his own anger.
Who the fuck did Rose think she was, telling him off like that, she’s not his
parent, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Who cares if he’s having sex
a lot, she was probably just jealous of him. Yeah, that’s it, she’s been
stricken by the little green monster because he is having all of this wonderful
sex while she’s stuck with a girl dryer than the valley of death. And what was
with all of that criticism of his personal life?
 
Rose was wrong. She had to be.
 
--
 
“Oh god, fuck yes, piss on me, make me dirty, ah!”
 
“You’re such a filthy little fag, you love being shown what a slut you are,
fuck, look at yourself.“ 
 
A warm spray splashed against Dave’s pale, bare chest, eliciting a low groan
from deep in his throat as he tossed his head back and frantically rubbed
himself, on his knees in his shower, his hand made slick from the liquid
trickling down his front and dripping onto the tile floor beneath him. In front
of him, Eridan watched with a predatory grin, jerking himself as his pee
eventually stopped dripped to a stop.
 
Dave groaned, he felt sticky, slick, wonderfully disgusting, as pressure built
up in his nether regions. The taller man walked over, grabbing his hair and
yanking his face back, rubbing his dick against the blonde’s face. Dave opened
his mouth and struggled against his grip to try and lick his cock. Eridan’s
dick twitching slightly in front of him and he threw his head back, moaning the
name of the girl he had a crush on.
 
“Feferi...”
 
Dave’s eyes closed tight as feelings of worthlessness and humiliation washed
over him. He was just a substitute, not really good enough for him, sitting
there covered in piss as he jerked himself and allowed the verbal abuse to
continue.
 
“You’re nothing but shit, look at how you’re begging for my cock like the
stupid little whore you are.” The insults went on and on, Dave letting out low
moans as his hips twitched, so close to release yet not letting himself cum
until Eridan said he could. He wasn’t good enough, he was an unlovable whore, a
fucking faggot. 
 
“P-please, let me cum,” he groaned breathlessly, sunbursts of arousal coursing
across his skin. An image flashed momentarily in his mind of a tall boy with
glasses and pristine blue eyes standing above him instead of the lanky wide
receiver who was there in reality. Confusion flashed through him momentarily,
causing his hand to stall, until a commanding snort brought him back.
 
“Do you think you’ve earned it?”
 
“Please...”
 
“Hmph. Whatever. Do as you wish.” With a shudder and a high-pitched moan of
“Ohhh god!”, Dave spilled over onto his hand, cum falling on the already messy
tile of the bottom of his shower. His shoulders sagged as he sucked in deep
breaths, only just realizing he had stopped breathing and that Eridan had
cummed as well, pelvis jerking forward once into his hand as he finished,
getting semen all over the wall, just missing Dave’s hair.
 
The two boys slumped against the tile walls, wearily catching their breath.
They both stayed there for a few minutes, silence stretching before them,
neither knowing how to approach it. Deep down inside, Dave wanted the pompous
boy in front of him to stay and run his fingers through his hair, reassure him
that he hadn’t meant any of the things he had said, but he knew better than to
expect any kind of aftercare from just another lay.
 
With a heavy sigh, Eridan pushed off against the wall and stumbled back into
the bedroom and began slowly pulling his (highly fashionable) clothes back on.
Warily, not really thinking about what he was doing, Dave stood and crept up to
the adjoining door, resting against it as he silently watched him, working to
find his voice again.
 
“...Do you wanna take a shower?” He meant for that to come out sounding
nonchalant or aloof, but the rasping way in which he whispered it came off more
as meek, afraid to make a sound.
 
“Nah, I think I’ll take one tonight when I crash at Fef’s place.” Eridan had
just finished wiggling his hips into one-size-too-small skinny jeans, and was
walking to the door. Without turning back, he added, “Thanks for the offer
though,” and disappeared. 
 
Dave stood there, unmoving, dejected eyes towards where the other man had left,
but not really focusing on anything. He was caught up in his emotions, a
whirlwind of abandonment, embarrassment, anger, and hurt. It was stupid of him
to think he’d get any aftercare, that was an intimate thing that only lovers
did, he should’ve thought about that before he agreed to participate in
something as psychologically taxing as that had been. He wrapped his arms
around his middle, resting his forehead against the doorframe. It was
absolutely moronic of him to continue offering his visitors his shower when
each time they all refuse. And it was completely asinine of him to keep setting
himself up for disappointment.
 
For the second time that weekend Dave felt like shit. He had to heave himself
off of the doorframe and force his feet to move sluggishly towards the shower
and start it up, washing all the bodily fluids left behind down the drain,
erasing the evidence. The blonde boy moved in a dream-like daze, seemingly
disconnected from reality, into the spray. He didn’t make any move to start
cleaning himself off, he concentrated on fighting back the stinging in the
corner of his eyes, he had kept it back for this long, no need to start now,
but he couldn’t do it and a strangled sob escaped, followed by a stream of
salty, warm tears. 
 
--
 
Later that evening, after Dave had snapped himself out of his listlessness and
hurriedly washed himself off in water run cold, the smallest Strider, wrapped
up in a cocoon made of the blanket off his bed, looked up at his disgruntled
brother with puffy, red rimmed eyes and a runny nose. Standing with his hands
on his hips disapprovingly and blocking the younger boy’s view of the
television, thick eyebrows lowered dangerously, Dirk tapped his foot like a
housewife from an old cartoon.
 
“...I’m tryin’ to watch this show here, y’know. They’re showin’ how to make
Cheetos.”
 
“Have you been crying?”
 
“No.” Dave’s response was too hurried, too sharp and defensive, and immediately
Dirk knew, his orange eyes squinting at him. Dave knew he was in for yet
another lecture.
 
“What the fuck, Dave? Like, literally, what the hell were you thinking
earlier?”
 
“Hey man, stay out of my business.”
 
“Not when you’re in pain. I’ve told you time and time again, having people over
like this is a bad idea, and now you’ve gone and gotten hurt. Look, I’m sorry
that you had your heart broken or whatever-”
 
Wait.
 
What.
 
Dave sat up and raised his eyebrows at his brother quizzically. “Hold up,
what?”
 
“I heard him saying someone else’s name. Seriously, I’m not deaf, even from in
the corridor outside, he was yowling loud enough for the neighbor’s to hear.”
 
“Oh my god, Dirk,” a snicker forced its way out of Dave’s lips. “Holy shit, no,
no way. That wasn’t why I was crying at all. Yeah, Eridan likes Feferi, but I
couldn’t care less about what name he calls during sex, I was upset because of
lack of proper cleaning up, y’know, aftercare ‘n stuff.” 
 
“So this guy does BDSM with you and doesn’t even have the courtesy to stay
behind and help piece you back together?” Anger rose and became more apparent
as the sentence went on. Dave swore he could see his brother bristling, and the
image of Dirk as an angry cat popped in his mind briefly.
 
He groaned, exasperated, and flopped back down on the couch. “No, okay, I don’t
care. It was my fault, I should have prepared better for this, okay? No harm
done, it’s over and my mind is in one piece.”
 
Dirk sighed, glare softening after a while. After a moments deliberation, the
older Strider reached out and ruffled his mop of shaggy blonde locks, sighing
in defeat, not wanting to argue anymore, and patted Dave’s cheek gently. “You
know I love you, right? I know I’m not the best brother, and am kind of a dick
sometimes, but I really do care about you an-”
 
“Dirk. It’s okay, I know.” Dave smiled weakly up at him, eyelids growing heavy.
He couldn’t handle any more emotional distress at this point, he was ready to
pass out and sleep through the whole next two weeks. “Bros forever, right?” He
wiggled around and fished his hand out of his body burrito, closing it into a
fist and holding it out for a bunp. 
 
“Yeah.” Dirk knocked his knuckles gently against his, then stood up and
wandered into the kitchen. Dave snuggled back up inside his personal paradise,
mind wandering everywhere involuntarily as he struggled to remain awake. The
last thing Dave remembered discerning from the fog in his brain was the sight
of wet, black hair slicked against a beet-red face, hidden blue eyes and thick
framed glasses looking down at him.
Chapter End Notes
     so turns out all my exams are next week instead of this week
     wish me luck on my chinese test though ahrieuwhrhgh characters are
     hard
***** chapter wu *****
Chapter Summary
     69+ kudos u know what that means ;)))))))))))))))
     also please dont take the descriptions of the girls seriously, these
     are just daves impressions from afar (and most certainly are not how
     i see them at all)
Chapter Notes
     sorry for the wait, i had forgotten all about the summer gym classes
     i have to take for the next two weeks, and i just got three new
     kittens, so theyve been taking up all of my time ;;;;
     I FORGOT IF I HAD NAMED THE HIGH SCHOOL IN THE PREVIOUS CHAPTERS????
     IF I DID IM RENAMING IT THEN
See the end of the chapter for more notes
The rest of the weekend passed by relatively uneventfully, with Dirk slyly (as
obtusely and obviously as an elephant) watching Dave over his shoulder, making
sure nothing bad happened to his baby brother, fingers twitching at any sign of
distress with lips quirked down and at the ready to release a whirlwind of
lecture and overzealous support. Bro was still a no-show, and Dave had
considered getting suspicious, but drove such thoughts away when he remembered
his guardian’s previous hectic patterns of home presence. Rose had continued
attempting to contact the youngest blonde throughout Sunday, to no avail thanks
to a shiny red pixelated button that read ‘block.’ All in all, Dave considered
the weekend good, despite the frequent hitches in his happiness.
 
Of course, every nice thing must come to an end eventually, proven by the ever-
present necessity that is attending high school every Monday morning. After
groggily heaving himself out of bed, slipping in the shower and nearly giving
himself a black eye, missing his mouth and smearing butter and toast crumbs all
over the side of his face, Dave clambered into his truck and set about the
usual task of getting the damn thing to start up in time to make the twenty-
five minute drive before the bell rang at 8:15. 
 
Once his gas-guzzler managed to jerk into the parking lot, Dave parked as close
to the school as possible; on the farthest end of the lot. Students were
milling about around outside, a picturesque couple was making out and playing
grabhand on the hood of the car next to him, chainsmokers were exchanging
cigarettes on the far left end of the row, and honor students were rushing to
get to their before-school club meetings before it was too late. As he took the
keys out of the ignition slot, one scene in particular caught his eye. Over
near the entrance of the football field, where black pavement blended with
concession stand concrete, the cheerleaders where flirting it up with the
football team. 
 
The head cheerleader, Jane, notorious for her temper and killer cupcakes,
heiress, as she liked to call herself, to the Betty Crocker Baking Company, and
rich enough to own a swimming pool within a swimming pool at her walled in,
four-story, 50-acre mansion estate, was draping herself over Jake, making the
soppiest, gooiest, ‘so-in-love’ look towards him. The other members, whose
positions Dave never cared enough about to learn, were unabashedly flirting
with the other football players. Nepeta had her arms wrapped around Eridan, who
looked like he was angry enough to punch her in the jaw, what if Feferi
happened to walk by and see him covered in another girl? Roxy, resident drunk
who had been sent to rehab more than once in the course of a single semester,
was all over Gamzee, trying to get some sugar (she was probably already buzzed,
like usual). Aradia, who had earned a full-ride scholarship to an
archaeological college in her sophomore year, was playing with Tavros’, the
back-up quarterback, mohawk, and Terezi, who was nearly blind with a tendency
to hit people with her cane in the halls then write it off with a giggle and
dainty ‘oops!’, a killer gymnast, able to do a triple flip off of a girl’s
shoulders and stick the landing with the grace of a phoenix, was rubbing her
tongue all over a flustered Karkat’s neck. The rest of the cheerleaders Dave
couldn’t name, one was ‘a rad knee’ or something, were in similar predicaments.
Most of their posse accepted the attention with gusto, flipping skirts and
grabbing tit at any opportunity they could. Curious as to how John was
reacting, Dave leaned forward in his ratty old carseat and squinted, trying to
discern who was who in the mingling crowd.
 
To his disappointment, he was no where to be seen.
 
Deciding he’d creeped on everyone long enough, the short blonde opened his door
to step out. However, unexpected tension pulled him back as his left foot
reached for the pavement, not quite making it, causing the blonde to lose his
balance and fall, smacking face-first onto the ground below. 
 
Laughter and giggles erupted around him from the few eyewitnesses who happened
to be close enough to see his dramatic entrance. Though Dave would never admit
it, his face burned brighter than embers as he yanked his shoelace free from
where it had snagged on the gas pedal. He then stood up, brushed himself off,
and proceeded to walk up towards the school building with such confident grace
that those who had seen his blunder would immediately forget it and instead
focus on the tiny nod the blonde gave to his peers as he passed.
 
Oh, who was he kidding, Dave knew that come third period two-thirds of the
school would have been told the tale and he would have to endure their cruel
jibes and taunts. Chances are he wouldn’t be able to sit in the lunch room
today, as was a common occurrence anyways.
 
Finally, after a walk that made him feel like a soldier walking through a mine
field, Dave made it to the translucent glass doors, covered in dirt and
fingerprints from the particularly oily skinned portion of the population, that
welcomed him to Skaia High, the gem of the county. Complete with state of the
art science labs, a gym large enough to hold two basketball games at once, and
furnished with only the best of furniture for the little angels that attend.
 
At least, that’s what it had been hailed as back in the ‘60s. Nowadays, the
paint job in every classroom was faded, the science labs lacked the proper
equipment for the students to truly conduct experiments, as proven by Jade
Harley in freshman year biology, who had managed to make her bullfrog explode.
Half of the gym had long since been damaged so badly that paper dividers where
put up and it now served as a storage unit for whatever junk no one needed
anymore but didn’t want to feel guilty about throwing away, and the desks
groaned and squeaked under even the lightest student suffering from an eating
disorder’s weight.
 
The forest green lockers that lined the cold, tiled hallways were rusty with
sharp edges that poked out, hungry for an unsuspecting hand to slice open and
mangle. Dave’s locker in particular had a lovely little habit of not closing
all the way, making a lock impossible to fit into the hole and therefore
causing him to get robbed as frequently as rabbits mate. As he opened it,
skillfully twisting his hand around it in a way that would protect his palm
from being defaced, it released its familiar demon screech, creaking and
clanking when it slammed against the adjacent locker.
 
Dave’s hand was brought to an abrupt halt mid-grab for his physics book when he
heard a familiar, high-pitched and eternally jolly voice calling for him.
 
“Daaaaave! Hey buddy, how’s it going, what’s up, how was your weekend?” A tan
girl a good foot taller than him with frizzy brown hair done up in a ponytail
waltzed up to him, waving emphatically. Dave’s lips quirked up into a smile at
the sight of her, all flailing limbs and goofy, bucktoothed smiles all aimed at
him in a concentration of happiness and sunshine. Her Squiddles backpack
jingled with her myriad of keychains clanging together, her long skirted
swished around her as she skidded to a halt and wrapped a long-sleeved arm
around his elbow, leaning on him and gazing down at him with sparkling green
eyes.
 
Jade Harley was a gem, a treasure, a rarity, a beauty; she was Dave’s best
friend, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. 
 
With a considerably brighter outlook on the day, Dave unwound their arms and
took her hand, calmly chatting with the animated girl as the sauntered down the
hall towards the biology lab.
 
--
 
After getting seven spitballs lobbed at the back of his head during second and
third period, as well as dodging a punch in the hallways in between classes
that would have sent him flying towards an open locker where he would have,
inevitably, been stuffed inside, fifth period study hall finally rolled around.
Dave took his seat at the far end table of the cafeteria, the one nearest the
men’s restroom, and took out his usual form of entertainment: his sketchbook.
Now, Dave wouldn’t call himself a great artist, but in his eyes he was
certainly one of the better ones in the school. His true passion honestly lay
with photography, but since the rundown old school ‘couldn’t afford any more
fine arts programs,’ as the Board of Directors had put it, Dave had to let his
creativity flow in the form of his comics and a portfolio full of crudely drawn
purple penises, as well as detailed diagrams of anal sex.
 
That year’s art show was the closest he’d ever gotten to being kicked out of
the school.
 
Flipping open to the next blank page in the flimsy notebook brought Dave to a
surprise from Jade. His lips twitched up into a brief smile when he read her
cheery greeting of “ have a good day dave!!” surrounded by flowers and a crude
doodle of her smiling at him. Dave popped open a red pen, his usual tool of the
trade, and scribbled out a self portrait, copying her style and labeling
himself as ‘cool’ and her as ‘loser.’
 
Satisfied with that, Dave set to work with his usual task of covering as much
paper in bright red dicks and doodles of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff. Today
however, it didn’t look like that was going to be the case, for by the time
study hall had been going on for five minutes he had already filled over half
the page with phallic doodles and was quickly growing bored. Leaning his face
against his open palm and propping his elbow against the smooth surface of the
table, he sighed and tapped his pencil against the paper. Even keeping up a
simple beat proved to be a difficult feat due to his attention faltering and
his mind quickly wandering, nothing really grasping him as fun or engaging.
 
Without really thinking about it, he let his hand move of its own accord across
the thin paper, just drawing whatever felt like coming out. Soon enough, Dave
was snapped out of his daze to see a crude image of himself and John making
out. His cheeks bloomed a bright shade of pink for a second when he considered
how his subconscious came up with thatof all things.
 
Normally Dave didn’t draw anything too incriminating inside of his notebook,
but that day it turned out that he was throwing all logic out the window as he
set to work with renewed determination in the final blank space available,
drawing a more realistic version of John’s tongue in his mouth as he leaned
over the paper to shield it from curious eyes.
 
Mostly Dave was just doing it for kicks, but as more and more of the drawing
came to life beneath his pen, he began getting a sick sort of thrill at being
able to actually see his fantasies before him. It was nice to realize that he
could bring his thoughts onto a more tangible plane. Plus John was hot, and
Dave enjoyed drawing hot guys, it was just a coincidence he decided to draw
them sucking face.
 
Dave’s brief power rush was interrupted by a sharp thump on the back of his
head, causing him to jolt forward and almost ruin his hard work. Angrily, he
whirled around in his seat, ready to lash out at his assaulter, but stopped
short when he saw the tan, broad-shouldered form of Jake casually sauntering
out of the cafeteria and past the bathroom, out into the halls.
 
Blinking, realizing that Jake had just initiated The Signal that meant for him
to follow for The Sex, Dave turned back and hastily began shoving his things
away into his messenger bag, standing up and causing his chair to squeak loudly
as he pushed it underneath the table. Once he had properly obtained permission
from the on-duty teacher in the form of a bored grunt from the old man’s
mustached lips, he walk-ran out the door, trying not to look too excited and
maintain his noncommittal image. 
 
Dave’s stomach squirmed as he thought of what was to come, the possibilities
were near limitless, there were so many unused rooms in this school, so many
positions to try, the possibility of getting caught always gave him a thrill,
but he didn’t have time to dwell on it for as soon as he hit the south wing he
was slammed against a locker as a mouth attacked to his.
 
Dave groaned into Jake's mouth, sloppily running his tongue along the curvature
of the other boy's cheek. He felt more than heard the moan he got in return as
he sucked on the other boy’s tongue, nipping at him gently when he pulled away
to catch his breath.
 
Breathing heavily, Jake looked at him with heavy lids and whispered, “The
janitor’s closet is empty.” He impatiently began pulling the smaller boy
towards their destination, fumbling with the door handle and nearly pushing
Dave to the ground when he managed to swing it open. Dave found his eagerness
amusing; while he himself felt the same level of excitement, he was much better
at concealing it than his companion.
 
Dave chuckled, winded, and replied, “Perfect,” before going back to kissing him
with a bruising force. “What are we doing today?”
 
“Is a sixty-nine okay? I’ve always wanted to try it...” Jake asked hesitantly
then trailed off uncertainly, as if he wasn’t sure if the blonde would be up
for it, once the door was closed and locked behind them, plunging the cramped
room into darkness. A shiver ran up Dave’s spine, followed by a rush of heat to
his face and crotch. Yes, a sixty-nine was more than okay, that was perfect.
 
Dave opted to reply with a grin and waggle of the eyebrows before taking the
lead and unbuttoning his shirt. Jake followed suit, and as soon as both boys
were naked they resumed their assault of each others lips, hands roaming and
grabbing at whatever skin they could access. Slender fingertips trailed along
taught abs and warm, rough hands squeezed pale ass as the two kissed each other
as if the world was ending and this was the last chance they’d ever get. The
sound of lips smacking and hushed moans filled the air around them that now
seemed cold due to increased heat between them.
 
“Fuck,” Jake groaned, deep in his throat, when their erections managed to brush
against each other. Dave shivered, then moved south, slowly getting down on his
knees, and began sucking and nipping at his neck, hands moving up to grip his
dick, bypassing any teasing and began rubbing him at a steady pace. They only
had a single class period, maybe a few minutes into lunch; he had to make this
quick yet enjoyable.
 
Dave continued to move lower, soothing his tongue against the planes of Jake’s
body. He was attractive, the feel of his warm skin and the way his muscles
moved underneath Dave’s touch sent waves of arousal straight to his cock, and
fuck he wanted him in his mouth, he wanted to touch him all over. He was
hornier than ever, his entire focus was on making Jake feel good so that he
could too in return. 
 
There was always the chance that someone would walk by at the wrong time and
hear them going at it, but it was the risk that made these excursions worth it.
 
Dave felt his own dick twitch from where it stood, neglected and at full
attention, when Jake began mumbling low words of encouragement, weaving his
fingers into his blonde hair in an attempt to make him go lower, use his mouth
in other places. “Yes, good boy, just a little more to the- yes, mm, just like
that, shit yes.”
 
Gently, Dave coaxed Jake down to the floor, laying him down on his back and
crawling overtop of him, reconnecting their lips for a moment, teeth clashing
and tongues lashing, before maneuvering around so that he straddled his chest
and came face to face with the other boy’s leaking cock. It was an odd angle,
but Dave wasn’t someone who ran when faced with a challenge. Licking them
gently, Dave parted his lips and lightly mouthed at the tip, swiping his tongue
across to lick up the precum that threatened to drip over, not wanting even a
single drop to escape. 
 
Jake grasped Dave’s hips tightly, the blonde feeling a shiver run through him
as he continued stroking his tongue around the tip. Growing frustrated with the
lack of stimulation he was receiving in return, Dave rolled his hips down
roughly, effectively sending Jake the message. The larger boy took this cue and
moved Dave’s pelvis to a better angle, using his hands to spread his legs
farther apart. Dave shuddered and gasped when he felt lovely, wet pressure
against his cock, and moaned into Jake’s pubes when he felt the other boy take
the tip into his mouth.
 
Carefully Dave eased his hips down farther, pushing more of himself into Jake’s
mouth, whimpering at the feeling of a tongue swirling around him. He moved his
mouth back to Jake’s cock, plunging it as deep in his mouth as he could get,
tasting him and humming contentedly. He was so happy to have a dick in his
mouth, it was familiar and, in an odd way, comforting.
 
As Dave diligently sucked and bobbed his head, gaining groans and jerks of
appreciation from behind, Jake moved his attention from Dave’s dick to his
balls, lightly lapping at them, causing the blonde to stutter in his movements,
letting out an appreciative whimper. It felt nice, not the kind of stimulation
he was used to recieving. Dave’s hands curled into fists as he struggled to
hold himself up, the sensations spreading throughout his body, causing him to
jerk and press back, wanting more, needing Jake to squeeze him harder, move him
mouth faster, oh god he just wanted more more more of the feelings running all
over his overheated body.
 
Arms trembling and eyes squeezed shut in pleasure, Dave made himself
concentrate on the dick in his mouth, forcing himself down on him all the way,
taking him into his throat. 
 
Jake stopped his ministrations momentarily to breathlessly chuckle, “Jesus, you
really love sucking my cock, don’t you? Fuck, you like it when I get so deep
you can’t breathe anymore, what a needy little bitch.”
 
Dave shuddered and groaned, noise muffled around his mouthful of dick. Nothing
got him going more than when his partner made him feel degraded, his cock
twitched and throbbed at the words. The blonde bobbed his head down, taking in
Jake’s dick to the hilt each time as he felt the brunette move his mouth back
to lap at his sensitive skin.
 
Both boys were quickly being reduced to quivering messes, both of them
struggling to hold on, not putting forth much of an effort to remain quiet
anymore. Dave sucked hard at the head of Jake’s dick, trying his damnedest
until he got him to cum, feeling the thick streams of white burst in his mouth,
filling his tastebuds with the familiar salty flavour, as Jake moaned against
the skin of his ass and bucked up farther into his mouth. Dave diligently
sucked up every last drop of semen until Jake was completely spent, sprawled
out on the cool tile floor and breathing heavily enough to alert the whole
school to their positions. 
 
Sitting up, Dave scooted off of his mount on top of the brunette and moved to
kneel above him, opting to relieve the ache in his groin with his own hand. He
watched the other boy’s face, eyes closed in rapture, lips swollen and abused,
and cheeks flushed bright red, visible even in the darkness of the closet. Jake
looked like that because of what he did, he was the one who had made another
person feel that good, look that gorgeous-
 
With a sharp intake of breath and a shuddery cry, Dave became undone, spilling
into his hand and dripping onto the ground as he erratically pumped his fist on
his dick. Collapsing down next to the other boy, Dave wrapped his arm around
him, resting his head on his tanned shoulder, sighing unsteadily and letting
his eyes slip shut for a moment. Dave wasn’t usually a cuddler, but it would be
nice to lay there against the heat of another person, just until the bell rang.
Chapter End Notes
     sighs i had to cut this chapter short because im tired of keeping
     people waiting and now it doesnt serve its intended purpose i am so
     sorry
     also hey
     my tumblr is dirckstrider if anyone ever feels like sending me an ask
     to kick my ass into gear if it ever takes me this long to update
     again
     also i post art and stuff there too so???? yeah uvu
***** FINALLY OMFG *****
Chapter Notes
     omfg i literally just got home from vacation twenty minutes ago
     hahahahhhhhhhh..,.....
     there are no drawings in this chapter as of rn ill change that once I
     get the chance to actually draw some out omgg
     edit: okay i doodles a thing gomen its so shitty im in an art block
     rn fu uuuuck
See the end of the chapter for more notes
For the last few minutes of the period, Dave lightly fiddled with Jake's hair,
rolling the dark strands between his fingers as he lay beside the other boy,
head resting on his shoulder. Jake was one of the few people who would indulge
how clingy he got after sex, which resulted in Jake being one of his favorites.
He was a good guy, for the most part. He had his douchey moments and could be
oblivious at times, not to mention was cheating on his girlfriend, but he was
willing to go the extra mile to make sure that whoever he was with was
comfortable and happy. 
 
If the two of them weren't screwing, they'd probably be great friends. 
 
But as it is, it was impossible; someone of Jake's social status could never
really openly be friends with a wallflower like Dave unless he wanted the
ridicule and insults to be thrown in his direction as well. The football team
and the cheerleaders were at the top of the food chain, followed closely by
those who feasted on the scraps they left behind, the fashion trenders, the
student council, and the less well known sports teams. After them came the
members of the interesting clubs, and at the very bottom were the outcasts, the
smarties, and the uglies. (Not that Dave was ugly, otherwise his setup with the
team would never have happened. At least that's what the more narcissistic side
of him like to think. ) The blond didn't really mind being a part of the
bottom, it meant he was safe from unwanted annoyances and prying eyes. 
 
Dave was reminded of all of this when Jake gently moved his blond head off of
him and rose to his feet, giving a happy, satisfied hum, and gathering up his
clothing to pull it back on at a relaxed pace. Dave followed his lead, though
stumbled and was much more clumsy than the other boy. Handling fabric was
obviously not his forte right after sex. 
 
Fully dressed, Jake turned to his companion and contentedly smiled. "Well,
buddy, I think it's just about time for the bell to ring. I'll see you at
lunch?" 
 
Dave grunted and waved his hand in response from where he was trying to pull
his two shirts on at once. His habit of layering his clothing needed to stop,
all it ever did was cause unnecessary problems and didn't even look cool
anymore. He heard a chuckle from Jake and the click of an opening and shutting
door as he finally fit his head through the right two holes and pulled the hem
down. 
 
Alone now, Dave took a moment to use the reflection off his phone's blank
screen as a mirror and fix his blond tresses in an attempt to mask the events
prior. Not that it would help much, he probably smelled like an incubus' lair. 
 
Finally deeming himself worthy of the public eye, Dave opened the door and
stepped out of the cramped and now stank-filled closet. He felt as if this
should be some sort of significant, visual metaphor on his sexuality, but
seeing as there was not a soul around to witness his grand entrance, he steered
that train of thought right off the tracks and into a lake. He was in no way,
shape, or form ready to come out to the uneducated bigots that inhabited most
of these halls. 
 
As soon as he took a step forward the blaring ring of the next period bell
blasted from the loud speakers, signaling the rush of students about to flood
out of the classrooms, and that it was time for Dave to book it to the
cafeteria if he wanted to get his usual seat that day, plus recollect his
things, he realized with a surge of panic. 
 
He ran so fast through those heavy double doors that his sneakers squeaked and
a few disgruntled looks were sent his way. It was worth it once he reached his
old seat to find his bag untouched and everything still packed away neatly.
Brushing his hair off of his forehead, Dave relaxed into the face of
nonchalance, slinging his bag over his shoulder and slouching over to a lone
round table in the corner of the room to take a seat. The area was quaint,
homie, and had a broken-in feel to it. The chairs were horror to sit in and
often resulted in numb asses, the table wobbled, and the walls were decorated
in slurs and graffiti that gave it an overall feel that would make Dave think
he was at home, if not for the constant chatter of gossip and laughter
resounding through the air. 
 
"Hey there buddy, what's the haps in your side of the city?" A devious giggle
pierced through the din, accompanied by upside-down peace signs and
crisscrossed arms. Dave grinned up at Jade and her mischievous, twinkling green
eyes. 
 
Playing along with her charade, he responded with a fist bump and various hand
movements. "Not much Jadey Two Dope, anything snazzy happenin' on your end?"
 
"Ha ha, you dork!" She launched a punch a bit too hard to his shoulder and
slipped into the seat beside him, flinging her banged up Squiddles' lunchbox on
the tabletop. She put on a show of rubbing her hands together and laughing
maniacally, causing Dave to chuckle at her antics, and opened the treasure
chest, revealing the booty: her lunch. 
 
"What's on the menu today, toots?"
 
"Well, for me I made a tuna sandwich on white bread," Dave made a face at the
repugnant scent that filled the air as she pulled the sandwich out. "Leftover
fried chicken from last night, a salad I grew in my own home, and orange juice
I squeezed this morning. For you, sir, I have a fun sized bag of Doritos-"
 
"Heresy, I asked for full sized."
 
"A fresh bottle of apple juice-"
 
"You are a godsend and my new angel."
 
"And a cherry sucker I've been saving just for you, m'dearest Sir Dorksalot."
 
Dave gathered up his offerings and proceeded to devour it like a starving
wolverine, while Jade did the same in a more dignified yet exponentially
messier style. By the time she had torn through her whole meal she had bits of
tuna stuck to her face and an orange stain that looked like South America
splattered on the front of her shirt. 
[http://i.imgur.com/JQ4DMOA.png]
Dave unwrapped his sucker, taking a moment to check for stars on the wrapper,
and stuck it in his mouth, savoring the sweet taste and tuning out the sounds
of Jade's commentary as she pounded the keys on her old Gameboy Colour that she
always sneaks in her lunchbox, trying her damnedest to beat the next gym leader
or whatever she was rambling about. 
 
Rambling at times was a thing the two shared, though she didn't do it near as
much as Dave did. Jade had more of a tendency of being reduced to a vocabulary
consisting of only swears, while Dave usually had many longwinded metaphors and
ideas that got out of hand much too quickly. Both quirks had gotten them into
many tight spots, and it was a topic they often laughed about on their hangout
nights. 
 
Dave sucked the cherry lollipop back between his lips, not realizing he had
removed it from his mouth during his musings. Absentmindedness was another
thing he had to be careful of, apparently. He swirled the sucker on his lips,
feeling like he did as a child when he would say that he was putting on
lipstick (something Bro stopped quickly, saying it was 'gross and gay, only
disgusting drag queens and women wear lipstick.'), smearing a thin film of
sticky residue across them, probably tinting his mouth red. Dave had never
really considered his own lips soft or anything special; when he had first been
kissed he'd been told his lips were too firm, the next time too chapped, and
later on when he practiced with his own hand he couldn't come to a clear
conclusion, his lips felt like lips and that was that. 
 
The softest lips that he had kissed so far happened to be Jade's, in fact. He
remembered that night clearly, the two of them laying on the hood of her car at
a drive-in theater, the stars shining stark against the black of the clear
night sky. Dave had leaned over to kiss his best friend's cheek, but at the
same time Jade had turned her head to say something, and the oldest of cliches
transpired. Their lips met briefly, during which the only thing Dave registered
being the silky texture of her lips. To this day he still doesn't know if it
was due to the lipgloss she wore or if it was natural. 
 
Thankfully, the little hiccup didn't cause any problems with their
relationship, both if them laughing it off and reminiscing about it later on.
(Dave had been so relieved that night when Jade explained her views on friend
kisses he had been so scared that he fucked up yet another relationship because
he couldn't control his god damn lips.)
 
The only other lips he had felt were the football team's; they varied from
cracked like broken glass to primped and pampered like royalty. It was
interesting to him how he could learn so much about a person's character
through their kisses. For example, Jake's lips were often chapped, which meant
he was outside a lot in dry air; Dave had later found out that he lived right
next to a forest and liked to be outside in the sun almost constantly. Eridan's
kisses were rough, controlling, and bruising, reflecting his pompous, all-
about-me, bossy attitude. His favorite mouth on the team, at least when it
wasnt spewing a flood of bullshit, was Karkat's. The defensive lineman had a
vocabulary more colourful than the RGB colour chart, yet in bed he was sweeter
than peach pie. His soft, gentle kisses were accompanied by whispered promises
that could make the hardest of hearts melt. 
 
Turning his head to look towards the football team's table, he idly wondered
what John's lips would feel like. He bet they were soft, yet firm, and that he
would be a great kisser. The desire to feel the other boy's mouth struck him
like a train, causing him to clench his fists tight to restrain himself.
Jealousy pricked at Dave when he imagined other people getting a taste of those
lips instead of himself. It just wasn't fair that a person so delectable was
able to slip out of his reach. 
 
Dave focused on the table across the room that he'd been turned towards and
tried to pick out John among the sea of faces. Lo and behold, at the end
closest to him, his target sat there laughing, a smile lighting up his face.
The boy was wearing what looked like a tight, white undershirt and an
unbuttoned, blue, plaid shirt. If only he was close enough to see that fabric
stretched taut over his chest, the thought making Dave bite his lip and
fidget. 
 
An idea struck Dave at that moment, a way to seduce the boy and show off all
the tricks he could do with his mouth, but John was so engrossed in the
conversation he was having that he just wouldn't look the blond's way. 
 
Nevertheless, John Egbert was seventeen years of toned ass, strong arms, and
plump lips; aka the hottest thing to ever step foot in this school. 
 
"Uh, what?" 
 
Jade's startled voice snapped Dave out of his reverie. He looked over at her
sheepishly to find her staring him with wide, bewildered eyes. 
 
"How do you know John? Like, ew, you do know he's like, my second cousin,
right?" 
 
That one really threw him for a loop. "Wait, you're related to him? Does
attractiveness just run in your family? I bet if I were to take a look at your
DNA sequence it wouldn't spell out the normal C-G-A-T, it would say H-O-T.
Scientists everywhere flock to take a look and try to figure just how this gene
formed before they just give up, the Harleys have molecular access to the
fountain of youth, it's too illogical fir science, they're simply too hot, the
lab equipment is melting, oh god Jade it's all your fault, you just couldn't
contain your face."
 
"Jesus christ you dorkus, shut up!" She reached over to slap at him, putting
her video game away. "Yeah, he just moved down here from Washington a few
months ago, that's why he talks funny, and just transferred here. How did you
meet? He's in some pretty advanced classes, dude..."
 
Dave ignored that jab at his intelligence to wince. Jade knew that he had a
special relationship with the team, and that he was gayer than Houston from
June twenty-first to the thirtieth, but she was completely unaware of what
exactly went on when he took off to the locker rooms. Quickly, he fabricated an
excuse that hopefully the no-bullshit-allowed girl would buy. "I ran into him
this morning in the parking lot."
 
Jade didn't even hesitate in her response, and Dave took a mental sigh of
relief. "Oh, really? You must've gotten here real early then, gosh." 
 
"I decided to accompany Dirk when he left for his Science Committee meet."
 
Jade slapped her forehead comically. "Shit, did I forget to go again? Aw man,
he'll probably be so mad next week..."
 
"Why don't you start using your colourful sillybandz reminders again? Or at
least get a planner, jeez."
 
"I can't, I look two years old with that crap on! And anyways, we weren't
talking about me, we were talking about you and John! Don't think you can
change the subject, mister." She jabbed her finger at him accusingly,
suspicious of some conspiracy he hadn't even been conscious of. Unfortunately,
her false accusations gave rise to a new horror right out of left field. "Do
you have a crush on him or something? That's mighty fast, dude, you only just
met this morning, take a dude out to dinner first at least, I mean damn."
 
"No, I don't, shut up," Dave forced out, his cheeks tinging pink in
embarrassment at the almost bullseye. 
 
Jade slapped her hands on her cheeks and squealed, "Oh my god, you do! Oh, that
is so cute Dave, you have to ask him out, oooh it'll make him feel so great!
He'd been telling me how he was nervous to make friends but if he had a
boyfriend that'd be, like, an instant picker upper!" Jade continued to fuel her
own conversation, talking about emotions and quickly leaving the topic of John
behind, much to Dave's relief. 
 
It didn't matter, anyways, John wasn't gay. 
 
Yet. 
 
--
 
The rest of the school day passed without a hitch. To Dave's disappointment,
John didn't show up in any of his periods, which led him to believe that the
brunet was in higher level classes; Dave himself was in each of the lowest. He
was disappointed, however, having hoped for more than just a glance at him
during lunch.
 
He didn't even get a chance to scope out some sweet ass. 
 
The sun shone bright and the cicadas chirped as the blond exited the building
and proceeded to hike all the way back to his sweet ride. As luck would have
it, in the space right next to his dingy truck, was a small white car currently
trying to be opened by John Egbert in all his glory, eyebrows pulled together
in concentration as he jiggled the key in the lock. Dave slowed to a walk,
formulating a plan on a whim, being as quiet as possible, and snuck around the
corner of his truck, leaning against the worn paint job. He waited until John
let out a groan and threw his hands up in frustration to make his move. 
 
In his most suave voice, Dave broke the silence between them. "Y'know, you're
cute when you're flustered."
 
John let out a surprisingly high yelp and a jumped around. His shocked
expression turned to a glare of resentful recognition and embarrassment as he
grumbled. "Oh, it's you."
 
"Yeah, it's me. How ya' doin', hot stuff?" Dave pushed off of his truck and
stepped closer, observing how John backed up against his car. It was cute how
futile the effort was; as soon as he could reach, Dave put his hands on the
other boy's hips and pulled their bodies together, trapping John between him
and the car door. He leaned up on his tippy toes, peering deep into his wide,
crystalline eyes and continued in a whisper, "I've been so lonely since you ran
out on me. You know how much I love you and your sweet cock-" Dave accentuated
that with a swift grab at John's crotch through his jeans, earning a small
choke from the taller boy. "-don't you, sugar?"
 
His heart was racing with excitement at the close proximity, and to be frank he
never thought he would make it this far with being so forward without getting
punched in the face. It looks like hitting on John incessantly may actually
work, to a point, so there was no way Dave was going back up now and let him
get away so soon. 
 
John managed to stutter a quick "J-jesus, okay, uh," with hands scrabbling at
Dave's own held against his hips. "What do you think youre doing?"
 
"Oh, y'know, just getting ready to head home," Dave murmured, eyelids drooping
as he pressed his chest into John's, practically throwing himself at him,
imagining that he could feel every outline of his muscles instead of clothing.
He let go of his hips and slid his hands slowly up his sides, trying to be
sensual about it. 
 
"Doesn't look like it," John growled, making Dave squirm, god he sounded so
hot, he should use that voice in bed, he could get anything he wanted with just
his words. His eyes slipped shut as he ground his hips down on the taller
boy's, rubbing their dicks together. 
 
That seemed to be the last straw, as John landed a tight grip on the blond's
shoulders and shoved him away, holding him as far away as the space between
their vehicles allowed. He blue eyed boy sent a searing glare his way, to which
Dave responded with his tongue swiping across his lips. He tried to step
forward, only to be roughly shoved against his truck's door. He grunted as the
air was knocked out of his lungs and his shoulders took the brunt of the hit;
he would be sore for a day or two. Still, he fought on, doing his best to
seduce the other boy, lifting his leg up and resting it against the other car,
blocking his escape and showing off his shapely legs. 
 
"Mm, you know how I like being forces and pinned down, oh baby." The blond
threw his head back and moaned.
 
"Dave. Move." John sounded dangerously serious, only encouraging Dave all the
more. The short boy was high off a rush of adrenaline from all the shoving and
touching, as well as the lovely feeling of release at pissing people off. 
 
"Don't be like that, baby, I know you want a ride on this." He accentuated his
words with a pelvic thrust. "I mean, I am the hottest commodity on the
bicurious black market."
 
Dave grinned at the sight of John's jaw clenching as the boy ground out, "I'm
not gay."
 
"Sure you ain't," and with that, Dave shoved off his truck, ran his index
finger along John's chin in farewell, and finished it off with a bump of his
ass against that sweet dick. Before John could move from his stunned position
Dave had already hopped in his mode of transportation and brought the engine to
life. The blond chanced one last grin towards John to see him flash his middle
finger. Dave waved and blew him a kiss. 
 
Still coming down from his fearless high, Dave chuckled to himself, small
laughs quickly rising to chortles that shook his whole body, temporarily
incapacitating him as he let go of the wheel to grip his aching stomach
muscles. 
 
It took a whole three minutes and twenty-eight seconds for him to calm down
enough to be able to drive without killing anyone.
 
Chapter End Notes
     when i was proofreading this i realized that i retained some bad
     habits from my anime fanfic days and i havent shaken loose of them
     yet oopsies i am Sorry.....,.,.,..
***** FFFIANLLLYYYYYYy *****
Chapter Notes
     this is only half as long as it was going to be because i haaatttted
     keeping u guys waiting haha ssssorry
     there wont be any more updates until i get my summer reading reports
     done wish me luck i have to fuckin read jane eyre and the ocne and
     future king do u have any idea how fuckin long those books r
     also i didnt proof read this ://////////////////////
     edit: fuckin dumbass pesterloggggsssss
See the end of the chapter for more notes
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG]at 17:32 --
 
TG : so
TG: jade
GG : ??? yeah dave ??
GG: what do you want turdlord im trying to study :P
TG: wow hurtful
TG: think before you speak harley just because were friends doesnt mean your
comments dont hurt
GG: :l
GG: dumbass
GG: you know i was joking
TG: yeah so was i idiot
GG: fartface
TG: peebrain
GG: loserbutt
TG: old bag
GG: small dick
TG: oh no you didnt
GG: oh yes i did ;P hehe
TG: haha alright enough bullshitting
TG: do you remember lunch
GG: of course i do it was only today silly!!
TG: do you remember the certain someone we talked about towards the end of the
period?
GG: the hottest thing to ever step foot in this school according to you...
GG: how could i forget that you have a lil crush on my cousin!!
TG: okay wow no lets get things straight right now jade
TG: cant have all these crazy ideas rattling around inside that empty barn you
call a brain
GG: you say that to someone who has won countless science awards :I
TG: yeah well guess whos brother has beat you at every science fair
TG: tsk tsk jade you cant even win a silly little high school contest
TG: how do you expect to win the nobel prize when you become a famous rocket
scientist or whatever
TG: fuck okay were getting off topic here
GG: you mean you are!!
TG: yeah so
TG: im gonna make it clear that my attraction to him is purely sexual
TG: no romantic intentions here
TG: tbh i dunno if i could stand a single date with the guy
GG: well try getting to know him first?? gosh its not that hard
TG: well he has glasses so hes probably a nerd
GG: >:I
TG: joking
TG: anyway what can you tell me about him
TG: give me the inside scoop ice cream lady before all the cream starts melting
TG: actually nah let the vanilla melt and then dribble it all over my face so i
can seduce him
GG: ewwww dave you are my friend i do not want to think of that!!
TG: really
GG: haha no i dont give a shit ;>
GG: so you want to know about him so you can have sex with him?
TG: yes
TG: basically
TG: i need to know what buttons to push
GG: ummmmmm i dont really know where to start!!
GG: i mean he literally just moved here? i dont know too much about him...
GG: have you tried talking him yourself?
TG: yeah i gave him my chumhandle but he still hasnt contacted me that douche
GG: maybe its because you come on a bit strong?
TG: what
TG: what are you implying there harley
GG: wellllllll...
GG: i can only imagine what went on this morning when you two met!!
TG: oh god
TG: do you think i fucking came onto him
TG: because i didnt
TG: i have more self control than that
GG: well dude!! you can be a little intense and a lot to deal with!!
GG: you dont really take being told no too well at first ive noticed....
GG: dont take that the wrong way btw
GG: maybe try just easing into the relationship and then doing sex after the
third date or something??
GG: i wouldnt know the right time ive never really been in a relationship long
enough :P
TG: but i dont want a relationship
TG: i just want to touch his boner and maybe have him touch mine a little bit
maybe
TG: that would be nice
GG: ugh i know right dicks are so great
TG: tell me about it
TG: its like
TG: how can a hypersensitive stick of meat be so great
GG: they should be gross but theyre actually not? ;P
GG: its crazy
TG: vaginas though are like
TG: ew
TG: stay away oh god its gonna swallow me up ill be stuck inside a moist cavern
farming yeast for the rest of my life
GG: hey now!! >:I
GG: dont knock it till you try it
GG: until youve had your mouth on a sweet muff you dont get to say things like
that
TG: i thought you havent had sex before
TG: have you not been telling me things
GG: well....
TG: jade i am hurt i thought we were besties
TG: im taking my friendship bracelot and im going to burn it while shoving
cookie dough in my mouth while listening to evanescence and linkin park on
repeat
GG: geez!! :O
GG: i just didnt tell you because vaginas gross you out!!
GG: i didnt want the conversation to be uncomfortable :B
GG: penile attraction is something we have in common so its easier to share!!
TG: you know what else im attracted to
TG: john
TG: and you know what we should be sharing
TG: information about him
GG: awhh okay!! like i said i dont know much but...
GG: he really likes movies?? i dont know which ones but when he came over he
mentioned matthew mcconahey or s/t...
GG: he has a lot of shirts with ghosts on em too :P
TG: his entire being is literally screaming nerd rn
GG: hehe
GG: he can be a smartass sometimes too so watch out for snarky comments
TG: sounds like a joy to be around
GG: oh!! i almost forgot the most important thing!! :OOO
TG: ?
GG: dont let him near shaving cream or a pie
GG: just trust me
TG: wtf why
GG: im not gonna say any more!! youll find out on your first date eventually
GG: because i am totally going to set you two up ;>
TG: ugh jade no okay i dont want to date him i just want his peepee to touch my
body okay
TG: besides he isnt even gay
GG: you dont know that!!
GG: just because he says he isnt gay doesnt mean hes not bi or pan or demi!!
GG: he could even be asexual
TG: youre right but
TG: i dont think this guy is clever enough to conceal an interest in sausage in
such a clever way
TG: he seemed like a dope
GG: hes more of a doof i think
GG: not exactly dumb just oblivious at times :P
TG: yeah
TG: k harley im gonna run
TG: got fries to cook
TG: dishes to do
TG: someone needs to keep this apartment clean
GG: haha!! have fun!! :D
 
-- turntechGodhead [TG]  ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG]  at 18:21 --
 
Dave spun around in his chair after powering his computer down, scratching the
back of his head before getting up to go take responsibility for the royal mess
he’d made in the kitchen an hour prior. Bro was still a no-show, and Dirk
couldn’t cook for shit, so Dave had stuck some frozen french fries in the oven
and left, hoping a fire didn’t start in his absence. Normally he would order
takeout, but he didn’t know where Bro kept the money and he wasn’t about to go
snooping in his bedroom. Who knew what sort of dark secrets lurked beneath the
floorboards, what heinous substances oozed from the walls and stained the
bedsheets. 
 
 
Entering the kitchen, the blonde was greeted with the sight of Dirk munching on
his fries, having taken them out of the oven already. His eyes narrowed when he
spied just how many fries were left; he wasn’t surprised at how little they had
dwindled to, Dirk was a voracious eater. He stomped over to him, raising his
hand and contorting his face into a look of anger, about to start a fight over
this, when a vibration in his pocket stopped him dead in his tracks. He saw his
brother raise an eyebrow at him, chewing away, as he reached into his pants and
pulled out his phone, still buzzing with new message notifications.
 
Dave unlocked the screen to find several new messages from Jade. He walked over
to the baking sheet and stuck a fry in his mouth and opened the messages,
curious as to what Jade could need so soon after their conversation had ended.
 
>messages from: jade the LOSER lol pwned swagg at 18:23
 hey dude!!!!! i got something really important for you!! :D
hey
hey
hey
heyyyyyyy
answer your phone dumbass >:<< 
dddddaaaaavvvvvvvvvee
david markus strider you answer your text messages right this instant or im not
going to tell you the really important thing!! >:o
 
 >messages to: jade the LOSER lol pwned swagg at 18:28
holy shit its only been like
not even five minutes wow impatient much harley
whats so important
 
>message from: jade the LOSER lol pwned swagg at 18:28
omg finally!!! okay so as we were talking i was talking to john right? and
guess what he saidddddd :>
 
>message to: jade the LOSER lol pwned swagg at 18:29
hes super gay and was just closeted but hes out now and wants to touch my penis
 
>message from: jade the LOSER lol pwned swagg at 18:29
omg nooo not yet but!! i got you his number >:>
 
>message to: jade the LOSER lol pwned swagg at 18:29
omfg r u srs
 
>messages from: jade the LOSER lol pwned swagg at 18:30
hell yeah!! i managed to convince him to give u a chance at talking
it took a lot of convincing let me tell ya but ol jadey knows her stuff ;>
 
>message to: jade the LOSER lol pwned swagg at 18:30 
omg jade i love i love you i love youuuu i owe you one okay if u ever need
anything just ask i will give you a kidney if u need it
 
>messages from: jade the LOSER lol pwned swagg at 18:31
haha silly :P youd do that stuff anyway
but yeah here it is: 855 429 2888
 
>message to: jade the LOSER lol pwned swagg at 18:31
i l lvceoe you im gonna smooch ur faceeeeee
 
>message from: jade the LOSER lol pwned swagg at 18:31
someone seems excited ;> haha go have fun!! but go easy on the guy i dont think
his poor heart can handle all you have have to offer rn
 
Dave exited out of his texting application his a huge, giddy smile on his face,
excitement making him fidget and bounce on his feet where he stood leaning
against the kitchen counter.
 
“What’s up?” Dirk asked, swallowing the last of the fries. Dave frowned for a
moment when he realized all the fries were gone, but his lips instantly quirked
back up into a grin that threatened to split his face in two.
 
“I just scored the phone number of a hot babe.” They bumped fists at that.
 
“Nice. What’s he look like?”
 
“Black-ish hair, kinda tan, glasses, bright blue eyes, a killer smile, and a
rockin’ bod.”
 
Dirk mumbled a short, “Damn,” under his breath, knocked Dave on the shoulder,
then left the room, shooting his brother a quick, “Good luck,” before
disappearing.
 
Dave haphazardly flung the dirty cooking tray into the crowded sink, already
feeling giddy with excitement, and walked back to his room with a happy hop in
his step. He flopped down on his bed and pulled his phone out in front of his
face, eagerly adding John’s number into his contacts.
 
Dave’s fingertips flew across the keys, typing out a greeting and moved to hit
send, but paused, finger hovering over the button.
 
“hey dude whats up”
 
Did that really convey the message he wanted to send to him? What if John would
react angrily towards him? What if this was the wrong thing to say and it would
just drive a rift between the two? Dave gnawed on his lip, eyebrows pulling
together as he wondered over whether his usual greeting was inappropriate for
this particular circumstance.
 
After a few more seconds deliberation, he deleted it all and retyped it, this
time showing not an ounce of hesitation when he hit the button that sealed his
fate.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 18:42
hows ur night goin i want you to spank me and call me a whore whats up
 
Much better.
Chapter End Notes
     johns phone number actually spells gay butt hehehe ;))))))))))
     dave is also. a big dumb.
     also pls plsplssssss tell me if u see spelling/grammar mistakes k
     thanks
***** chap 8 what the efuck *****
Chapter Notes
     ugh the format shit for the texts in this is fuckin shit im gonna
     change it to pesterlogs soon so itll be easier to fuckin type out
     damn
     ps: no art plus no preoofread so if things sound awkward/grammar
     mistake/spelling error i am begging you to point it out for me
See the end of the chapter for more notes
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:42
 
wow, i wonder who this is. 
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:43
 
hey babe 
insert winky face here or w/e
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:43
 
not even five texts later and i already regret giving you my number
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:44
 
thats part of the patented dave special
served only in five star restaurants patrons clamber for a chance to have a
taste
except now the tables have turned and its me who wants to have a taste
a taste of you
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:44
 
i can assure you that my meat is overcooked and tough, not a good meal at all.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:45
 
how about we start over then get some fresh meat and pound it a little to
soften it up then cook it nice and slow in some nice savory juices
or we can just cut to the chase and slide that tough piece of meat in between
some hot buns and eat it as is
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:45
 
is there this much homoerotic subtext in everything you write?
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:45
 
u wanna find out?
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:45
 
not really no. 
i'd rather, oh, i dunno...
not be constantly hit on? because if you havent noticed, im not gay.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:46
 
man that is so
boring??? lame??? grey
mainstream
experiment a little bit get to know the playing field make mistakes fuck a dude
in the ass get fucked in the ass yourself
live a little
dont be a het stick in the mud
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:47
 
hey! im not being a stick in the mud!
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:47
 
you are a square and you know it
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:47
 
shut up! i am not, now lets stop talking about this.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:47
 
someone sounds defensive
r u hiding something john? your true sexuality mayhaps?
tsk tsk what a naughty boy
youll have to be punished for that
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:48
 
i am shuddering over here dude.
you sounds like a creepy old man hitting on his 12 year old nephew.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:48
 
ew wow lets not go down that route pls you are killing my boner
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:48
 
now you know how i feel.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:48
 
i dont actually have a boner btw but u know i could if u know what i mean 
cough sexting cough
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:49
 
why dont we have an actual conversation?
have you ever considered that maybe i would be more open to your advances if
maybe we actually got to know each other?
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:49
 
thats boring but im listening
what do you want to know about me mr conversational studmuffin
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:49
 
okay, uh,
how do you know jade? 
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:50
 
r u kidding me
i know ur new n all but come on man jade and i are like inseparable
bffsies the dynamic duo the one true platonic pairing weve seen each other
naked we know all each others secrets we have sleepovers and talk about cute
boys while painting our nails and dish out the latest gossip and give each
other makeovers i mean cmon
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:50
 
your exaggerations are getting tiring.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:51
 
i wasnt exaggerating though
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:51
 
oh.
OH.
okay then. 
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:51
 
yeah man
now tell me about you
whyd u move to hillbilly hell (to quote that talking cars movie)
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:52
 
classy. 
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:52
 
yeah i know im a real charmer
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:52
 
yeah well okay so i used to live in washington, ya know?
it was a quaint little town, quiet neighborhood. i had a tire swing in the
front yard.
my dad worked for this big office, it was some sort of insurance firm or
whatever.
and the company flopped so he and the other 1500 employees were suddenly
jobless.
my nanna had left us enough money to get by for a long time, but my dad decided
that ‘hey why dont we move closer to the rest of our family in texas?’
so i get to live here near jade who i didnt know about before like a month ago
and my dad is opening up a bakery on maplewood ave. the end.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:53
 
exciting
are you rip raring for all the sweet new adventures ur gonna have here boy
skylark
i bet ur 12 year old self wouldve wet his fucking pants if his dad told him he
was gonna move thousands of miles away from northern suburbia
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:53
 
you think you know me so well, dont you. you just have my personality down pat.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:53
 
you just seem like that kind of guy
kid-you probably ran around in mudpuddles and caught every kind of bug in his
backyard
the most exciting moment of your summer before fourth grade was when you caught
a turtle all on your own and you brought it in to show and tell the first day
of school
you had a funeral when it died
had an engraved stone and everything
here lies sprite he was a good friend 
he listened to me and didnt get mad at me and didnt eat the last of the doritos
that i had been saving for a special day
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:54
 
here, let me pull up and chair and we can talk more in depth about your
childhood trauma.
look, i even have a notebook to take down notes.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:54
 
sniffles thank you for seeing me on such short notice doc
i just have a lot of feelings about a lot of turtles yknow
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:54
 
mmhmm. and how does that make you feel?
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:55
 
i want to fall asleep and go to dreamland the only place sprite is back with me
the only place im happy anymore
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:56
 
okay. its official. im going to diagnose you now.
come closer.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:56
 
leans forward in anticipation
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:56
 
closer.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:56
 
gets even closer
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:57
 
closer....
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:57
 
so close there is barely any space between us whats wrong with me u ass
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:57
 
you are.....
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:57
 
cuts you off with a kiss
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:57
 
wow fuck you. kicks you out of my office.
youre going to fuckin jail.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:57
 
no doc i wont make in the stony lonesome
i have an unknown thing to be diagnosed
i wont survive without you and your sweet ass dick
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:57
 
youre a loser oh my god.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:58
 
what else is new
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:58
 
no. thats the disease.
you have caught the loser virus.
there is no cure.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:58
 
gasps
i have one request before i die
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:58
 
what is it, kathy?
you can tell me anything, kathy.
the kids are here too, kathy.
the whole family is here to listen to your final words, kathy.
kathy i love you.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:58
 
i...
i want you to fuck me
right here right now in front of everyone
show them all how much we love each other
jared please
jared my darling
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:58
 
kathy........
ur fukkin gay lol
jumps out of the windows ollies onto skateboard. l8r h8rs.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 22:59
 
sobs jared no come back
 
Dave lifted a hand up to his mouth, stifling the chuckles escaping from between
his lips. To say he was pleasantly surprised was an understatement; John was
actually funny, and entertaining to talk to. The blonde was currently sprawled
out on his bed, feet kicking back and forth in the air as he tried to contain
his shaking laughter, and iPhone practically pressed against his nose as he
eagerly awaited a reply.
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:01
 
never. it is time for me to start my new life as king of the sun people. 
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:01
 
omfg
so hey i have a question
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:01
 
shoot.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:01
 
do you think i could have your pesterchum
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:02
 
no. fuck no.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:02
 
what come on
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:02
 
nope.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:03
 
i promise i wont hit on you
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:03
 
noooooooooooooope.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:04
 
whyyyyyyyyyyy
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:04
 
just because we have a single good conversation does not mean were friends, and
pesterchum is for friends only.
hence the word chum in the name.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:05
 
that hurts me john. why must you do this to me
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:06
 
hehe, maybe sometime in the future you can convince that youre worthy.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:06
 
how about i just convince you right now
i will suck your dick for a whole week as many times as you want free of charge
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:06
 
no. ew. i do not want your gross lips near my junk.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:06
 
heinous lies my lips are not gross they are full and luscious
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:07
 
that may be true but you still have a lot more convincing to do.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:08
 
so you think my lips are full and luscious
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:09
 
what no.
wait.
shit.
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:09
 
whatever, im still not gay.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:09
 
uh huh sure
but yeah so
its kind of a pain in the ass to type on this teeny ass phone ya feel
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:09
 
i was just thinking that using pesterchum online would be a much easier way of
communicating
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:09
 
nice try buster.
you aint gettin no chumhandle out of me.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:10
 
ill just go ask jake then
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:10
 
no wait what the fuck how did you????????
how did you know he has it?
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:10
 
i didnt
i just guessed
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:11
 
thanks for the info though ill go message him now
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:11
 
no!
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:12
 
what
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:13
 
i dont want him to know im talking to you.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:14
 
i see gotta protect ur rep huh
u gotta pay up or ill destroy u man the clocks ticking
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:14
 
ughhhhhhhhh.
i hate you.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:14
 
im attracted to you
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:14
 
fuck okay, you know what? no.
im gonna make you work for it.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:14
 
dont be such a tease
see i just said a common line in internet fanfiction
does that turn you on
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:14
 
my dick has never been softer.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:15
 
fuck it im out goodnight
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:15
 
okay ill talk to you later bye.
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:15
 
that was the part where you were supposed to beg me to stay wtf asshole
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:15
 
how to be a heartbreaker </3
 
>message to: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:16
 
did u just quote marina
 
>message from: one day well shag john just u fuckin wait at 23:16
 
you saw nothing. goodnight. 
 
Laughing quietly to himself, Dave locked his phone and tossed it towards his
pillow, stretching out on his back and sighing contently. He’d learned a lot
about John, and found himself eager to talk to him more. His words had just the
right amount of snark, and he didn’t back down when Dave threw his bullshit at
him. Instead, he took it head on and flung it right back. He could see the
family resemblance between him and Jade through that.
 
Above his head, his phone buzzed and flashed, alerting him to new messages.
Lazily, Dave reached up and grabbed it, but immediately went stony-faced and
powered it down when he saw that the two new texts were from Rose, not even
bothering to look at them. He knew deep down that he was being childish towards
her, and that she only wanted what was best for him, but she had wounded his
pride. She had called him out on things he didn’t want to acknowledge just yet,
and he had animorphed into a pouty little child who had gotten his favorite toy
taken away from him. She could wait a few more days, anyways.
 
Dave got up, yawned and stripped down to his underwear, plugged his phone into
the charger and flopped into bed, pulling one of his pillows on top of his
head, as usual, to keep the light of the morning out of his face when the sun
rose. He adjusted his face so his nose was exposed to cool air and hunkered
down to sleep.
Chapter End Notes
     next chapter will be less just talking and more dave getting laid
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!