Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/5301224.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M, Multi
  Fandom:
      DRAMAtical_Murder_-_All_Media_Types
  Relationship:
      Noiz/Seragaki_Aoba, Koujaku/Seragaki_Aoba, Noiz/Sly_Blue_(DRAMAtical
      Murder)
  Character:
      Noiz_(DRAMAtical_Murder), Koujaku_(DRAMAtical_Murder), Seragaki_Aoba,
      Mizuki_(DRAMAtical_Murder), Mink_(DRAMAtical_Murder), Trip_(DRAMAtical
      Murder), Virus_(DRAMAtical_Murder), Clear_(DRAMAtical_Murder), Noiz'
      Parents_(DRAMAtical_Murder), Theo_(DRAMAtical_Murder)
  Additional Tags:
      Mental_Health_Issues, Mental_Institutions, Dissociative_Identity
      Disorder, Self-Harm
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-11-28 Updated: 2017-05-09 Chapters: 16/? Words: 41146
****** Connection Lost ******
by toxzen
Summary
     After a particularly bad episode, Noiz's parents decide to
     institutionalize him in an effort to find a remedy for his near
     constant bodily harm. In the institution Noiz meets the sweet and
     kind Aoba, as well as his alter, Sly Blue, who, among other things,
     takes a strong liking for Noiz's pain tolerance.
     However, while Noiz is becoming more and more attached to the blue-
     haired alter, the institution is doing everything in its power to get
     rid of Aoba's dissociating.
Notes
     i know a lot of people are probably hoping for updates to my Ruin(ed)
     series, but this idea has been in my head for a while and i just
     really wanted to get it out
See the end of the work for more notes
***** Chapter 1 *****
"Sign here...
As well as here..."
The voice floated through Noiz's headphones at a barely registrable volume.
Unfortunately the pounding music that issued from his headphones was at the
highest volume which meant he couldn't be rid completely of the annoying
voices. He rubbed his nose as the thumb of his right hand darted over the keys
of the DS. A sudden tapping on his shoulder made him lift his head. He flinched
as his eyes met the stark blue orbs of his stepfather. He swallowed and slid
the headphones onto his neck. 
"Noiz, sweetie." Noiz's mother knelt before him and put a hand on his knee. He
frowned at the thin, pale digits that gripped him through his black-washed
jeans. "It's time."
Noiz nodded and stood up from the bench. The attendant at the front desk with
whom his mother had been speaking smiled at him as she gestured to his DS.
"I need to take all your personal belongings, dear," she said.
Noiz nodded again as he disentangled himself from his headphones and placed
them, his DS, and his phone on the desk. His stepfather cleared his throat.
Noiz rolled his eyes as he fished out a second and then a third phone from
various pockets hidden on his person. The attendant's eyes widened as she took
his various devices from him and put them together in a non-descript plastic
bag.
"Alright," the attendant said as she rose and walked out from behind the desk.
"You may say your goodbyes now. Don't worry," she added as she smiled at Noiz,
"your parents can come visit this weekend."
"That's only in a few days, sweetie," Noiz's mother said as she gave him a
tight hug. 
"Yeah," Noiz muttered under his breath. 
His stepfather squeezed his shoulder. Noiz stiffened, but thankfully the man
didn't try to initiate further contact. Noiz breathed a small sigh through his
nose as his parents headed to the double doors of the ward. His mother waved
over her shoulder as his stepfather held the door open for her. He could feel
the man's eyes on him, but he opted for staring at his shoes with his hands
stuffed deeply in his pockets.
"Right this way, Noiz," the attendant said as she led the way to a second set
of double doors. These doors were locked, but not for long since, as they
approached, the guard on duty, buzzed them in.
"Welcome to the Second Ward," the attendant said as she raised her hand to
direct him inside.
===============================================================================
Noiz sat on the foot of his bed and stared at his suitcase. It had been brought
in by one of the attendants after its contents had been inspected. His mother
had packed it, so they needn't have worried about it containing illicit
materials. His person had also been searched thoroughly by a male nurse with
shocking blond hair and a pair of blue-green glasses. The man had smiled a lot
and had a cool, low voice.
Noiz kicked his feet. They were donned in a pair of slippers since his shoes
had been taken from him. He had had the option to keep them without the laces,
but he had opted for the slippers. With a small sigh he glanced around his
room. It was small and white-washed. There were two beds with side tables on
the right of each. Two dressers stood on the opposite wall. His roommate was
nowhere to be found. Apparently this wasn't surprising. The attendant had
explained to him that his roommate was "a special case", whatever the hell that
meant. 
Noiz rubbed his arm over the thin, short sleeve that covered it. His parents
had informed him of his institutionalization when they had been on their way
'to the grocery store'. He should have known something was up when he had
practically been ordered by his stepfather to accompany them. He cringed at the
thought.
A small itch was budding in the back of his mind. He swallowed and the rubbing
of his arm turned to scratching. A sudden crash drew his attention to the door.
He got off the bed and opened the door a crack. 
"You fucking shit."
Noiz scampered back with a yelp as a dark-haired youth suddenly propelled
himself at another boy and the pair fell into Noiz's room. The door flew open
and slammed against the wall. Noiz hastened back until he bumped into his bed.
The pair rolled around the floor together in a frenzy of blue and black hair.
They were snarling like a pair of peeved cats. The black-haired boy gained the
advantage and pinned the other to the floor.
"I'm going to kill you."
Noiz flinched at the sincerity in his voice, but the pinned boy only laughed
loudly. Suddenly four attendants flooded into the room. Two of them grabbed
hold of the black-haired boy. He growled and tossed his head back. Noiz was
startled to see a puckered, pink scar running over the bridge of the boy's
nose. The attendants were demanding that this be enough as they dragged the boy
out of the room. Meanwhile the other two were crouched beside the blue-haired
boy.
"Fuck off," the boy snapped as he pushed himself to his feet. "I'm fine," he
added as he shook off the attendants questioning. The boy spun around, and
stopped in mid stride when his vibrant yellow eyes fell on Noiz.
"Who the fuck are you?"
Before Noiz could answer, a man appeared in the doorway. He was tall with long
brown dreads. The pink headband around his forehead did nothing to alleviate
the intimidating air he put forth. His skin was a soft brown his cheek bones
could have cut diamonds. He was frowning as he stared down at the blue-haired
boy. 
"It's time for group," he said smoothly. 
"Fuck that," the blue-haired boy said as he walked past Noiz and threw himself
onto the other bed.
"You must be the new patient," the man said with a smile that made Noiz blink.
The expression actually managed to soften his glacial features. "I'm Mink," the
man said as he offered his hand. "I'm this floor's therapist."
"Uh, hi," Noiz said as he took the man's hand. It was warm and grasped his
firmly. 
"If you'll follow me, I can take you to group," Mink said as he turned around. 
Noiz followed. He glanced over his shoulder at the other boy, who was still
lounging in bed. 
"He'll come later," Mink assured him as he started down the hall. "I'm sorry
about the ruckus. It's not usually that lively around here."
"Cool," Noiz said. "So, what exactly is group?" 
The pair walked down the hallway, which was lined with bedrooms. At the end of
the hall, they came to a fork. To the left, Noiz knew since the attendant had
given him a tour when he had first arrived, was the nurse's station as well as
the exit. To the right was an open common area. Past that was the activity
room, and apparently where group would be held, since Mink led him there. 
"It's a time when the patients here gather to discuss what is going on in their
lives," Mink said as he gestured for Noiz to enter the room first. 
Noiz swallowed before stepping inside. Large bay windows, barred of course,
lined the far wall. A small circle of chairs was clustered in the middle of the
room. A white-haired boy with a medical mask covering his face sat in one
chair; another was occupied by the black-haired boy who had been dragged out of
Noiz's room. He looked decidedly less murderous now. A boy with soft green
tattoos twining around his neck and arms sat beside the black-haired boy. About
six of the other chairs were occupied. Noiz walked to one of the unoccupied
ones and sat down. All eyes were on him and thus his eyes took up residence on
the floor. Mink followed him and sat in another open chair. 
"Sorry I'm late," the warm, ringing voice drew attention to the doorway. The
blue-haired boy stood there. A wide smile was on his face and his eyes were a
soft amber. 
The black-haired boy sat up as the boy walked in.
"Aoba," Mink said. "It's nice of you to join us."
"Thanks," the boy said as he ran a hand through his long hair. He crossed the
room and sat down next to the boy who had just moments ago pinned him to the
ground. He smiled him before looking around the circle. "Oh, there's a new
person here."
Noiz stared as the boy's amber eyes fell on him. The boy smiled and waved at
him. Noiz's mind screamed at him in utter confusion. 
"Yes, everyone this is Noiz," Mink said. Noiz turned to the man and jabbed a
finger at the blue-haired boy.
"The fuck is with that?"
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"Noiz," Mink admonished quietly, "we don't point things out like that here."
"Oh," Noiz said quietly as he folded his arms and sunk into his chair.
"It's fine, Mink," Aoba said with a laugh. "I guess you met Sly then?" 
"Sorry, Aoba," the black-haired boy said. "We kinda got in a fight in your room
and he was there."
"Yes. Aoba, Noiz is going to be your new roommate," Mink explained.
"Oh, cool. Hi," Aoba said with another wave. 
"Let's go through introductions. Mizuki, would you like to start?" Mink asked,
turning to the boy with the green tattoos.
"Ah, sure," Mizuki said as he rubbed his cheek. A light green teardrop tattoo
sat on his cheekbone. "I'm Mizuki. I'm 19. I have PTSD." He gave a soft chuckle
as his hand dropped into his laps. 
"We urge our patients here to say what their problems are," Mink explained to
Noiz. "Since it's your first day, you don't have to though. Clear." Mink turned
to the boy in the medical mask who sat beside Mizuki. "Would you like to go
next?"
"Sure!" The bubbly voice that issued from behind the thin paper mask surprised
Noiz. The white-haired boy had been staring forlornly at his shoes, but now he
sat up and his eyes were crinkled in a smile. They were a vibrant, light pink.
They contrasted oddly with the yellow scarf that twined around his neck. "I'm
Clear and I have mirrored-self misidentification."
"Clear, have you taken your mask off at all today?" Mink asked as he crossed
his ankle over his knee.
"No," Clear said quietly as his shoulders hunched. His hand reached up and
plucked at the edge of the mask.
"That's alright. We'll talk more about that after introductions," Mink assured
him with his dazzling smile.
Clear blushed and looked away from the older man. Noiz was frowning as he
stared at the boy. He had no idea what the mirror identifying thing was. He
honestly wasn't so certain about what PTSD was either. As for his
own...thing...he had been told the name of it before, but he'd never really
paid attention to the countless therapists his mother had sent him to.
Noiz didn't pay attention to the next few introductions, so busy was he
frowning down at his hands. He had had to take out all of his piercings, and he
felt oddly naked without them. A pair of light red holes decorated both of his
hands where his surface piercings had been. Apparently they were considered
dangerous enough that he had to remove them.
"I'm Aoba." Noiz looked up at the sound of his roommate's alluring voice. "I'm
23 and I have DID. That's dissociative identity disorder," he added as he
looked at Noiz. Noiz glanced around--did anyone understand what those words
meant? All eyes were on him and he quickly looked back at Aoba's comforting
amber eyes. "That means I have multiple personalities. Well, one anyway. You
met him, Sly."
"Oh, um," Noiz mumbled quietly. "OK."
"I'm Koujaku," the black-haired boy said and Noiz breathed a sigh of relief as
the eyes moved away from him. "I'm 22 and I--" he cleared his throat and
glanced at Mink. The man nodded slowly and Koujaku rolled his shoulders. "I
have anger management issues," he finally managed. Mink gave him a small smile
before turning to Noiz.
"You're turn, Noiz," he said.
"Ok," the boy murmured. "I'm Noiz. I'm 17. And um." His eyes flickered over to
Mink. The man raised his eyebrow. Noiz gnawed on his lip and looked away. He
wanted to give a big, fancy name for his thing--one that no one would
understand so they wouldn't knowwhat it was, but how ever much he wracked his
brain, he couldn't remember what it was called.
"Thank you, Noiz," Mink said, saving him from his scrambling mind. Noiz
breathed a small sigh as attention shifted to the therapist. "Let's begin with
you, Koujaku. Why did you and Sly get into a fight?"
"No reason," Koujaku muttered as he twined his fingers together. His hands,
Noiz realized, were decorated with a collection of scars, similar to the one
that marred his face. Noiz's eyes remained riveted to the boy's hand as he
reached up and ran his fingers over his bangs, which concealed half of his
face. "It was just a fight."
"The nurses told me what you said to Sly," Mink said quietly. He dropped his
foot back to the floor and rested his elbows on his knees. "Do you know what
brought that on?"
"I--" Koujaku glanced at Aoba, who gave him a reassuring smile. "Sly was just
being a jackass," he finally said. 
"That is your typical excuse, Koujaku," Mink said with a small shake of his
head. "Would you like to expand on it?"
"Not really," Koujaku said as his eyes flickered to Mink's face. His eyes were
a sharp red as he glared at the man."
"That is fine," Mink said with an allowing nod. He turned to Clear. "Clear, you
took off your mask yesterday and said you would do it again today," Mink said.
"Do you know why you haven't been able to yet?"
"No," Clear murmured quietly. His pale cheeks were stained a soft pink. 
"No ideas?" Mink pressed. "Clear, you told me you would."
"I know," Clear whispered. "I'm sorry."
Noiz's eyes widened--was he about to cry? He glanced hurriedly at Mink. The
therapist seemed to have picked up on this shift as well. He smiled at the boy,
though he didn't notice.
"That is alright, Clear," Mink said. "I know you tried."
Clear's eyes crinkled in a relieved smile as he looked at Mink. When his eyes
registered the smile on the man's face, he ducked his head as a deep blush over
took his face. Noiz almost snorted at the blatant infatuation the patient had
for the doctor, but he covered the sound by quickly rubbing his nose. 
The conversation turned to Mizuki, who amicably answered all of Mink's
questions. Apparently he had "worked up the courage" to call one of his old
friends and the conversation had gone well. 
"It didn't even trigger me," Mizuki said with a grin.
"I'm happy to hear that."
Mink then turned his attention to the remaining patients. He didn't speak to
either Aoba or Noiz until close to the end of the conversation. Noiz stared at
the clock as conversation droned on. A small tap on his shoulder made him look
around. Clear's pink eyes were focused on him. He jumped and the boy nodded to
something behind him. Noiz turned to Mink. The man was staring at him
expectantly.
"Um, what?" Noiz said. A soft chuckle made him look around. 
Aoba elbowed Koujaku and the boy tried to stifle another laugh. Noiz flushed
and looked down at the floor.
"Noiz," Mink said. He didn't sound at all like he had repeated the name
multiple times, but Noiz had the feeling that he had done just that. "I wanted
to know how you felt about everything that is going on," Mink said. "I know we
threw you into this right after you arrived. Are you feeling overwhelmed?"
"Uh, no," Noiz said as he glanced up at the man.
"How do you feel about coming here?" Mink asked. "Were you part of the
decision?"
"No," Noiz said. He swallowed and gnawed on his lower lip. "We kinda just
showed up here."
"Do you know why you're parents decided to bring you here?" Mink asked. 
Noiz flinched and sunk into his chair. His mind was suddenly bombarded by the
horrified face of his little brother: green eyes were wide in terror and small
mouth hung open. Noiz's arms tightened around himself.
"No," he finally said.
Mink waited for what felt like an eternity, but when Noiz didn't say anything
else, he turned to Aoba. Noiz let out a slow, rattling sigh as he unwrapped
himself and slumped in his chair. He knew perfectly well why he had ended up
here, but sharing that was the last thing he wanted to do. His breathing
suddenly picked up and his fingernails dug into the soft skin of his forearm.
Mink was talking in his low, rumbling voice; Aoba answered all his questions
sweetly. The blood rushing in Noiz's head drowned the words out, however. His
nails dug in deeper and he blinked several times as he tried to rid himself of
the images. The sensations were also bubbling up: the harsh gripping on his
hips, the trembling of his knees, the sweat dripping down the back of his neck.
Theo's face swam his front of his eyes. His throat tightened up.
"Noiz...
Noiz..."
Noiz blinked and his vision slowly keyed in on what was really in front of him.
Theo's face dissolved and Mink's appeared before him. The man was kneeling in
front of him. His hand was on Noiz's knee. Noiz blinked again and looked
around. The room was empty save for the two of them. Mink rose.
"Group is over," he said. "If you don't mind, I'd like you to come to my
office."
"Um, okay," Noiz murmured quietly. He slowly got to his feet. His knees quaked
slightly. He took a deep breath. 
Mink nodded and turned away. He walked out of the activity room and Noiz
followed him on shaky legs. The pair continued down the hallway away from the
TV room until they reached a door on the left hand side. Mink produced a set of
keys and unlocked the room. He gestured for Noiz to enter. The boy ducked his
head as he walked past the therapist.
The office he found himself in was stark, industrial. Everything had a reason
for being there: there was no excess furniture or decorations. A couch stood
against one wall. Opposite it was a desk with a large, wheeled chair behind it
and two wooden arm chairs in front. Bookshelves lined the walls. A large,
barred window stood across from the door. Hanging beside it was a large cage.
Inside a brilliant pink bird was perched. Despite its vibrancy that contrasted
sharply with the rest of the room it didn't seem remotely out of place. It
ruffled its wings as Mink walked in. 
"Take a seat wherever you'd like," Mink said as he closed the door behind them.
Noiz sat down on the couch. Mink went to his desk. The rolling chair creaked as
he sat down in it. He opened the manilla folder that sat on his desk, and
looked over it as he spoke.
"Are you alright, Noiz?" he asked. 
"I'm fine," Noiz said as he crammed his hands between his knees.
"What triggered your anxiety attack, Noiz?" Mink asked quietly as he looked up
at him. 
"My...?"
"Do you know what an anxiety attack is?" Mink asked. His forehead was creased
as he surveyed Noiz.
"Uh, yeah. I do," Noiz said. He shifted slightly on the couch.
"You got upset after I asked you if you knew why you were here," Mink said. 
"You...you could tell?"
"That's my job," Mink said with a soft chuckle. "Did something happen, Noiz?
There's nothing here in your file." Mink gestured to the folder in front of
him.
"Um, no," Noiz said.
"Noiz," Mink said with a small sigh, "this--" he gestured to the room around
them--"doesn't work unless your honest with yourself and with me. You need to
tell me if something happened."
"Nothing happened," Noiz said, his eyes flashing as he glared at Mink.
Mink sat back in his chair and steepled his fingers below his chin.
"I'm sorry, Noiz. I don't believe you."
"I don't give a fuck," Noiz shot back. His cheeks were flushed as he continued
to glare at Mink.
"Noiz," Mink admonished. Noiz swallowed and looked down at the floor. "You
don't have to tell me now, but I need to know eventually. Otherwise I can't
help you." Mink stood. "I'll take you to the cafeteria for dinner."
Chapter End Notes
     this was long actually with a lot of dialogue. and no sly :( but my
     bby will show up in the next chapter and yes stuff's gonna get smexy
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Notes
     cw: self-harm, blood
 Noiz stared around the cafeteria with his tray gripped tightly in his hands.
This was like the first day at a new school, except he’d only ever been
homeschooled and this was a prison for crazy people. Noiz scoffed under his
breath. Regardless of some of his more damaging proclivities, he really didn’t
think he belonged here. Hell, his roommate could turn into another person; that
was next level shit.
 “Noiz!”
 Said roommate’s voice drew Noiz’s attention to one of the tables. Aoba, the
angry boy, the boy with the mask, and the green tattoos boy were seated at the
table together. Aoba was waving at him eagerly.
 “Sit with us.”
 Noiz walked over to the table and sat down beside the boy with the medical
mask. This put him across the table from the dark-haired boy with the perpetual
scowl—at least it was perpetual where anyone other than Aoba was concerned. The
boy proved as much when he turned to Aoba and his face softened.
 “How are you settling in?” Aoba asked.
 “Fine,” Noiz said. He stared down at his plate and fiddled with the plastic
fork he’d been provided.
 “So, we’re roommates,” Aoba continued, unperturbed by Noiz’s monosyllabic
response, “and you met Sly already.”
 Noiz frowned up at him.
 “That’s the other me,” Aoba said with a laugh.
 “He’s kind of a jackass,” the boy with the green tear drop tattoo said.
 The boys all laughed, including the masked one, though Noiz could barely hear
the chuckle, more like a soft exhale with a delighted edge to it. Aoba chuckled
and drew his hair carefully over each shoulder.
 “He’s not all bad, right?” he said with an embarrassed grin.
 “Koujaku would probably disagree with you there,” the brunette said.
Koujaku rolled his eyes. Aoba gave him a light elbow and Koujaku’s lips
twitched in a small smile.
 “You did meet him briefly though, right?” Aoba said, looking back at Noiz.
 “Uh, yeah,” Noiz said as he stabbed his mashed potatoes. “Sort of.” He would
hardly call the encounter he’d had with the blue-haired identity ‘meeting’. Sly
had simply cussed him out and then Noiz had been ushered off to group.
 “Don’t worry,” Aoba said. “He can be a bit of an ass, but he won’t hurt you or
anything.”
 “Just don’t tick him off too much,” the tattooed one said. “Leave that to
Koujaku.”
 “Mizuki,” Koujaku grumbled under his breath. He shot a soft glare in the
tanned boy’s direction.
 “What?” Mizuki said. “It’s true. You two are always getting into fights.”
 “Yeah, whatever,” Koujaku muttered eloquently under his breath. He stood up
and picked up his tray. “You finished, Aoba?”
 “Yeah, thanks.” Aoba passed him his tray.
 Koujaku walked off to dump their food.
 “How are you doing, Noiz?” Aoba said. “Seriously.”
 “I’m fine,” Noiz said with a frown etched in his forehead.
 “Adjusting to everything can be hard, so just let us know if there’s anything
we can do to help,” Aoba said.
 “Yeah,” Mizuki said, “we’re all friends in here.”
===============================================================================
Noiz lay on his side in his bed, listening to the soft sound of Aoba’s
breathing. After dinner, he had been ushered along to the TV room where he had
watched the others play a rowdy game of Scrabble. It had been entertaining in
its own right, especially how pissed off Koujaku would get when he lost, but
Noiz was still bored out of his mind. Not only that, but he was getting that
itch at the back of his mind.
The fact of the matter was, for all his stating otherwise, he was not fine.
From the time he had walked into the ward until now, it had felt as if a pit
had taken up residence in his stomach. It was a gnawing sensation riddled with
anxiety that left him on edge. The constant prying that he’d had to endure all
day didn’t help matters.
With a grimace, he sat up and pulled his hand out from under his pillow. He
stared down at the plastic fork he held in his hand. He had long since
perfected the art of slight of hand when it came to acquiring sharp objects.
This one wasn’t necessarily sharp, not without an alteration. Noiz gripped the
fork in both hands and bent it.  With a loud snap it broke in two. Noiz winced
and glanced over his shoulder. In the dim moonlight that filtered in through
the chicken-wired window, he could make out Aoba’s sleeping form. The boy had
his back to him, but he seemed undisturbed by the sound.
Noiz released a sigh and looked down at the broken fork in his hands. He
dropped the less desirable fragments. The broken end in his hand resembled a
shank. He rolled his eyes at the thought before lifting up his shirt. He’d long
since stopped using his arms as a canvas. Despite his tendency to wear long
sleeves, the markings on his arms had been spotted at one time or another. He
hadn't cared much when his mother and step-father had questioned him, but when
Theo had caught sight of one, he had decided it was high-time he relocated his
self-harm to another portion of his body.
He clenched his shirt between his teeth and held the broken plastic to his
side. He pressed the splintered end to his side, sighing from the pressure. He
prepared to slice it across his skin—
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
Noiz yelped. He jumped almost a foot off the bed and the shank slipped from his
hands. His shirt fell out of his mouth and he stared up at the youth who
hovered over him. Aoba’s face was split with a leer. His eyes seemed to glow a
luminous yellow.
“Fuck off,” Noiz snarled. He made to grab the shank, but Aoba snatched it up
before he got the chance.
“Hm, this is pretty crafty.” Aoba tested the tip of the fork’s handle. “Not
that sharp, you’d need to apply a lot of force.”
“Give it back,” Noiz snapped. “Or what? Are you going to rat me out?”
“Why would I do that?” Aoba said with a light chuckle. “That’s no fun at all.”
Noiz frowned. Something about Aoba’s demeanor didn’t align with his cheery
persona, which Noiz had been subjected to for several hours after dinner.
“Are you Sly?” Noiz asked hesitantly.
“Yup,” the boy said, flashing a toothy grin. “You must be the roommate
everyone’s been going on about.”
“I’m Noiz,” Noiz said. “What exactly did you mean when you said I shouldn’t do
that?”
“Oh, don’t get me wrong,” Sly said as he dropped his weight onto one hip. “I
don’t care one way or the other what you do with yourself, but that Mink has a
sixth sense for this sort of thing—” Sly waggled the shank between his fingers—
“He’ll lecture you for hours and then you’ll be put under suicide watch. It’s
all rather tedious.”
“I don’t care,” Noiz snapped.
“Is this one of those things where you can’t calm down unless you see blood or
something?” Sly asked.
“Not your business, asshole.”
“Oh, I like you,” Sly leered as he bent over Noiz.
Noiz swallowed as those penetrating yellow eyes locked with his.
“Well, I would hate to deprive of your base needs,” Sly said. Suddenly his hand
shot out and he knocked Noiz back on the bed. The blue-haired boy hopped up on
the mattress and straddled him.
“What the fuck?” Noiz demanded.
Sly yanked up his shirt and suddenly his hand slashed out. Noiz winced slightly
as he felt the pressure of the shank scrape across his chest. Noiz glanced
down. A thin wound had opened on his chest below his left nipple. Droplets of
blood beaded on his pale skin.
“Fuck was that for?” Noiz snapped.
“Huh,” Sly said. He poked the wound with the sharp end of the fork handle. He
only earned a scowl from Noiz. “Doesn’t this hurt?”
“It doesn’t, asshole,” Noiz growled. “Now cut it out.”
“How come?” Sly asked as he dropped the shank onto the bed and leaned over
Noiz. He dropped one hand to the mattress. With the other he pressed down on
Noiz’s chest.
“It just doesn’t,” Noiz gritted out. He averted his eyes from Sly’s face and
stared at the far wall. He could feel his body heating up from the presence of
the other male. He bit his lip and willed himself to stay calm.
“Huh, fascinating,” Sly said as he lightly caressed his hand across Noiz’s
chest.
Blood smeared over his pale skin. Sly leaned down. Noiz could feel the other
youth’s hot breath on his nipple. He shivered. Suddenly Sly lunged forward and
locked his teeth on Noiz’s nipple. Noiz gasped in surprise, his eyes widening.
Sly gave the bud a vicious twist before sitting back to inspect Noiz’s
reaction.
Noiz’s cheeks were flushed and his eyes glistened as he stared up at the boy.
It was common for him to tear up when he should have felt pain. His breathing
was coming in shallow gasps. Sly frowned as he dropped down on Noiz’s hips.
“Nothing,” he began, but suddenly his eyes grew wide.
Noiz grimaced and looked away from Sly’s face. He felt like his face was going
to catch fire. Sly ground his hips down. Noiz gritted his teeth.
“Fuck, you got hard from having your nipple bit, or was it just my sexy
allure?” Sly smirked.
“Don’t flatter yourself,” Noiz snapped. He tried to remain as composed as
possible, but that was hard to do what with him being straddled and Sly's ass
was grinding down on his erection.
“Oh, so you did like it when I bit your nipple,” Sly said. He reached up and
tweaked the bruised nub.
Noiz gasped and quivered. Sly continued to abuse his nipple. He panted and his
hands shot up to grip Sly’s knees.
“Sly,” he stuttered, “stop, please.”
“Fuck,” Sly hissed. He lunged forward and slammed his mouth against Noiz’s.
***** Chapter 4 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Noiz gasped, giving Sly ample opportunity to slip his dexterous tongue past
Noiz’s teeth. Noiz could feel his dick throb. He wasn’t going to lie; the older
male didhave a sexy allure. But Noiz was much too petrified by a certain
thought to get into the make-out session. Did Sly think he was easy? Was that
why he was currently trying to choke Noiz with his tongue? Noiz wasn’t a slut;
he didn’t put out for just anyone. He sure as hell was going to hook-up with
his roommate at a fucking psych ward on the first fucking night. 
Noiz bit down hard on Sly’s tongue. The blue-haired youth gasped and bucked
backward. He stared down at Noiz with a pout. Before he could complain about
the unjust—in his eyes—assault, Noiz’s fist lashed out and slammed into his
cheek. Sly grunted as he was propelled out of Noiz’s lap and landed on the
mattress beside him.
“Fuck you doing?” Noiz snarled. “You think I’m easy or some shit. I’m not a
slut.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Sly said quickly as he pushed himself off the bed. He took
a step back and raised his hands. “I never presumed as much. I never would. I
just thought you might want to have some fun on your first night.”
“Asshole,” Noiz muttered under his breath. He was surprised by Sly’s reaction.
He had expected the boy to try to push him more; maybe even confirm that he did
think of Noiz as such. 
Before Sly could say anything else, the door of their bedroom opened.
A bespectacled warden with shocking blond hair leaned against the doorframe.
The light from the hallway spewed past him into the small bedroom. Noiz quickly
yanked his shirt down to cover his chest.
"Sly, are you harassing your roommate?"
"Nope," Sly said as he sat down on his bed with his hands still raised, this
time to reinforce his claim of innocence. "Not me. Never." He was smirking as
he spoke. 
"Rules state you can't hook up with your roommate or any patient for that
matter," the warden continued. There was a bemused smile on his face. "I
thought we'd gone over this already."
"What about wardens?" Sly asked as he leaned leaned back on his elbows.
"Sly." The blond male rolled his eyes.
"I am a slut," Sly explained as he looked at Noiz and flashed him a quick wink.
"Go to sleep," the warden said. He stepped out of the doorway and closed the
door.
Noiz crawled under the thin comforter and curled up on his side. He heard Sly
chuckle lightly, but he tried to ignore the other male. He closed his eyes and
willed himself to sleep. Eventually, he did slide into a fitful rest.
===============================================================================
"Roll call."
The voice soaked into Noiz's consciousness. He blinked awake and sat up. The
same warden from the night before was at the door. He held a clipboard.
"Morning, Noiz," he said. "Sly, you're still here."
"Sorry to disappoint you, Virus," Sly said. He was lying on his back in bed
with his feet propped up on the wall. 
"I'm Virus," the warden said as he held his hand out to Noiz.
Noiz took it tentatively. Virus had a firm grip. His icy blue eyes scanned over
Noiz's slender frame. Noiz flushed and pulled his hand back quickly.
"I hope you got some sleep last night," Virus continued. He checked off the
roommates on his list. "Get your butts to breakfast." He closed the door behind
him.
Noiz slid out of bed. He went to the dresser that stood against the opposite
wall from his bed. He pulled out fresh clothes and changed quickly. He knew Sly
was watching him and he tried to ignore the weight of the male's gleaming eyes.
Sly swung his legs onto the bed and hopped to his feet.
"Lez go," he said as he left the room.
Noiz padded after him. Sly led the way to the dinning hall. Noiz followed the
other patient; they got their food and went to sit with the same group as
yesterday.
"Morning," Mizuki said with a bright smile as he spotted Sly and Noiz approach.
He was buttering his toast with a plastic knife. 
"'Sup," Sly drawled as he plumped down next to Koujaku. He nuzzled his face
against the other male's shoulder. "Morning, sunshine."
"Fuck. It's you," Koujaku said around a spoonful of yogurt. He shoved Sly's
head off his shoulder.
Noiz sat down beside the masked, white-haired youth from yesterday. The boy
looked over at him with wide, pink eyes. Noiz saw the corners of his eyes
crinkle as he smiled. 
"Hi, Noiz" he said. 
"Uh, hi..."
"Clear," the boy said with a small nod.
Noiz hummed quietly. He had never been very good at learning names. He'd never
had much reason to anyway since the only people he really ever interacted with
were his family and his step-father. He turned his attention to the food in
front of him and picked at it half-heartedly. Animated banter filled the air
around him. Sly never shut up, Noiz was learning. His mouth worked a mile-a-
minute, spewing sexual innuendos and dirty jokes. Noiz could practically see
smoke rising from Koujaku's ears as he was forced to endure Sly's animated
tirade. Clear had tried to engage Noiz in conversation, but Noiz had only
supplied soft 'hm's and shrugs. 
When breakfast was over, the wardens on duty, which no longer included Virus,
led the patients into the group therapy room. Noiz sat down between Clear and
Mizuki.  Mink walked into the room at exactly nine o'clock. He called a cheery
greeting and got a few responses in return. He sat down in the open chair
beside Clear. 
"Let's do introductions," Mink said. "Clear?" He glanced at the smaller male
beside him.
"Hi, I'm Clear," the boy said in his bubbly voice. His cheeks were flushed a
soft pink as he spoke. "I have mirrored-self misidentification."
"Thank you, Clear," Mink said. "Noiz?"
"I'm Noiz," Noiz said. He shrugged and looked over at Mink.
The doctor didn't press him to say anything further and moved on to Mizuki.
Noiz zoned out as the introductions continued, but he was pulled back into
focus when Sly's sneering voice reached his ears.
"Hi, Mink," the blue-haired boy drawled. He had his chin resting in the palm of
his hand as he smiled at Mink. 
"Good morning, Sly," Mink replied without a hint of response to the lewd once-
over Sly was giving him.
"I'm Sly. I'm Aoba's better-half." His words earned a derisive snort from
Koujaku. "Aw, Koujaku~ why are you never happy to see me?" He pouted.
Mink moved the introductions along before Koujaku could engage Sly in an
altercation. When they had made it around the circle, Mink gave a few short
announcements. Apparently it was movie night tonight and there would be a vote
for what they would watch during lunch. He mentioned a few names of patients
who had recently been released. Noiz rolled his eyes. It was obvious Mink was
bringing them up to show that people really did get better and everything would
be OK. Noiz wanted to gag. Get better, huh? Like hell he could get better.
The disorder he had that made it impossible for him to feel pain was here to
stay. He'd been diagnosed young; he still remembered his mother weeping when
the doctor's told her that he'd be a freak for life. 
"Noiz?"
Noiz looked up. Mink was watching him. His blue-green eyes were soft as he
scanned Noiz's face.
"Yeah," Noiz asked as he shifted slightly in his seat. He brought his arms over
his chest. Sly's words from the night before came back to him. Something about
Mink's piercing, but not intimidating stare made it feel like he could see
through Noiz's shirt to all the cuts and scars beneath it.
"How have you been adjusting?" Mink asked him. 
"Fine," Noiz said. 
"Would you like to elaborate?" Mink asked. He seemed to have a thing for people
'elaborating'.
"Um," Noiz said. He wanted to get attention away from him as quickly as
possible, so he gave Mink an answer he wanted to hear. "It's been a little
overwhelming, but not too bad."
"What about it overwhelms you?"
"Everything's new," Noiz said with a shrug. "So it takes a little getting used
to."
Mink seemed satisfied with his answer since he moved on. He looked across the
circle to where Sly sat. The boy raised his eyebrows expectantly when Mink's
gaze fell on him. 
"Sly," Mink said. "I was wondering if you'd like to talk about the fight you
had with Koujaku yesterday."
"It was just a little tussle," Sly said with a small roll of his shoulders.
"You know us; we always get into disagreements."
"And why is that?"
"Because he's so sensitive." Sly's voice took on a babying tone as he looked
over at Koujaku.
"It's not because you enjoy provoking him?" Mink asked. 
"Oh, well we all know that's the case," Sly said with a boisterous laugh, "but
how could I not? It's so fun seeing him lose it."
"Sly, you might find it amusing," Mink said, "but provoking Koujaku doesn't
help with his process. Now, you hadn't fronted in a while until yesterday. What
are your thoughts on that?"
"Mm," Sly hummed with a shrug. "It gets a little boring being crammed in the
back of Aoba's head. I just wanted to stretch my legs." Sly emphasized this by
slouching in the chair and stretching out his legs and arms. 
"Aoba has been making quite a bit of progress these last few weeks," Mink
continued. "What are your thoughts on that?"
"'What are your thoughts? What are your feelings?'" Sly said in a mocking
voice. "You sound like a broken record, doc."
Mink only waited patiently for his response. Sly's face clouded and his brows
furrowed.
"You know how I feel about it," he said darkly. 
"Why don't you reiterate it for us."
"I'm not going anywhere," Sly growled quietly. He shifted in his chair. He
looked ready to pounce from it and lash out at Mink.
Noiz caught sight of the wardens move forward a pace from where there stood by
the door. 
"Why not?"
"Fuck you and your questions," Sly said. "I'm bored." Sly fell back in his seat
and glared at the floor.
This seemed to be the cue that Mink wouldn't get anything else out of the boy.
The wardens relaxed noticeably. Mink continued around the circle. When an hour
had passed, he called the group to an end. 
"It's free time now," Clear told Noiz as they stood up.
"Oh, okay," Noiz said.
Clear quickly went to Mink's side and whispered something to him. Mink nodded
and left the room with the masked boy trailing after him. Noiz followed the
group aimlessly toward the common room. He caught sight of Sly and Koujaku at
the front of the group. Sly said something to Koujaku and suddenly the boy
snapped. 
He lunged at the smaller male, slamming him against the wall. Sly lashed out.
His face was twisted in a manic smile as his elbow caught Koujaku's eye socket.
The dark-haired boy hardly noticed the blow. He caught hold of Sly's hair, who
cried out in pain, and threw him to the floor. Sly skidded across the linoleum.
The other patients scattered, but Noiz only watched as Sly collided with his
shins. Noiz tripped forward. He right himself and straightened up.
Suddenly a blur of movement filled his vision. Koujaku descended on him. Noiz
could see wardens rushing the dark-haired patient from behind, but they
wouldn't reach him in time. Koujaku's eyes were glinting red as his fist lanced
forward and smashed into Noiz's face. 
Chapter End Notes
     i know the overall plot but not the small scenes so in other words i
     don't really know what i'm doing
***** Chapter 5 *****
Noiz grunted as Koujaku's fist slammed into his face. He stumbled backward and
tripped over the prostrate Sly. He fell hard on his ass. He brought his hand to
his nose. It came away bloodied.
"You asshole," Sly yelled. He lunged to his feet and hurled himself at Koujaku.
Mink intercepted him with a sturdy arm that locked around his waist. Sly
flailed in his grip as he cussed Koujaku out. Three wardens had grabbed a hold
of Koujaku. They were barely keeping him away from Sly. Mink lifted the blue-
haired male off his feet and carried him with ease into his office. He gave
Clear a short apology as he closed the door behind him. When Sly was out of
sight, Koujaku calmed down. He jerked out of the wardens' grips and muttered
something about going to his room.
"Are you okay?" Clear asked as he knelt beside Noiz and put a hand on his
shoulder.
"I'm fine," Noiz said. 
One of the wardens approached him and asked him to come with him to the nurse's
station. Noiz followed after him. The warden asked him various questions about
how he was feeling. He seemed worried that he might have a concussion.
Apparently a single blow from Koujaku's fist was capable of that. The warden
checked his pupils with a small flashlight, but found nothing wrong with them.
When Noiz had assured them that he was fine, he was allowed to go with a wad of
tissues pressed to his nose.
The day past agonizingly slowly. Noiz was bored out of his mind after thirty
minutes of free time. He couldn't imagine surviving here for an extended period
of time and didn't have a clue how long he was expected to stay here. Sly
rejoined the group after two hours in Mink's office. He looked absolutely
furious. He threw himself onto the couch beside Noiz and slammed his foot
against the coffee table.
"Your face okay?" he asked as he glanced over at Noiz.
"Fine."
"Nose doesn't look broken," Sly said as he caught his chin and inspected his
slightly bruised nose. 
"It's not. It was just bleeding a lot."
"Where's that asshole?" Sly asked, releasing his face and looking around the
common room.
"His room."
"Fucker," Sly muttered under his breath. "I get chewed out by Mink forever and
he's just lounging around."
"You did say something to set him off," Noiz said. "Didn't you?"
"Literally anything could set him. Why do you think he's in here?" When Noiz
only raised his eyebrows, Sly sighed. "Alright, so I told him how I wanted to
fuck Virus. Happy?"
"Why would you tell him that?" Noiz asked as he tried to ignore the stab of
jealousy. It wasn't as if he had some sort of claim on Sly. He himself had said
he was a slut. 
"Because the thought of his precious Aoba getting fucked by anyone other than
him sends him around the bend," Sly said with a grin.
"Koujaku's gay?" Noiz honestly hadn't seen that coming. 
"For Aoba. It's seriously pathetic. He won't make a move or anything." Sly
rolled his eyes. "Don't say anything about it though, okay? Koujaku would
probably kick your ass if you even suggested he was gay."
"What do you care what happens to my ass?" Noiz muttered under his breath.
"Cause," Sly said as he caught Noiz's chin, "I wanna fuck it."
Noiz flushed a bright red and averted his gaze. Sly chuckled softly. One of the
wardens told him to stop touching Noiz. He did and got off the couch as well.
He said something about taking a piss. Noiz was trying to force his blush to
die down so he didn't look like a tomato. 
===============================================================================
The movie that had been chosen was Now You See Me. Noiz was pleased, since he
had voted for it. Sly, on the other hand, was far from satisfied with this. He
let out the fifth loud sigh he'd released since the start of the movie, which
had been ten minutes ago, and dropped his head back.
"We've watched this like eighty times," he groaned.
"Sh," Noiz said, elbowing him in the side. "I've never seen it."
Sly grumbled under his breath, but he didn't complain after that. Noiz stared
fixedly at the screen. Fuck, he wanted Dave Franco to fuck his brains out. A
hand slid onto his thigh and he jumped. He glanced over at Sly. The blue-haired
male was staring innocently at the screen as his hand crept up Noiz's leg. They
were sitting alone in the back row. The lights were out and the wardens,
despite being on duty, were mostly just watching the movie. Sly's hand reached
his hip and he slid his hand under Noiz's waistband. He was suddenly a lot less
invested in the movie.
"Wanna go back to our room?" Sly asked.
"But the movie," Noiz said half-heartedly.
"Believe me. We'll watch it again," Sly said with a small chuckle.
Noiz nodded and the pair left the common room. Sly caught his wrist and he led
the way to their room. He pulled the door opened and pushed Noiz inside. Noiz
stumbled slightly and righted himself. His heart was pounding in his throat.
The door clicked shut. Sly caught his shoulders and spun him around. Noiz
gasped as the older male slammed him against the wall.
Sly pressed his lips to Noiz's and moaned. Noiz wrapped his arms around Sly's
waist. The male's tongue darted out and Noiz eagerly opened his mouth. The kiss
was sloppy and their teeth clicked together, but Noiz didn't care. He hardly
ever kissed the people he hooked-up. He enjoyed the feeling of Sly's tongue
toying with his own. He whined in disappointment as Sly dropped his mouth to
his neck and nipped sharply at his skin. Sly worked his hands into Noiz's pants
and gripped his ass. 
"I wanna blow you," Sly panted as he pulled back and stared at Noiz with
glistening eyes.
"Okay," Noiz whispered.
Sly grinned and immediately dropped to his knees. He pulled down Noiz's pants
and underwear. Noiz flushed as his half-hard cock was revealed. Sly wrapped his
hand around it and Noiz's eyes widened. He opened his hand and stared at Noiz's
length as he thumbed the tip of his cock.
"Holy shit. It's pierced," Sly whispered. 
"Yeah," Noiz said with a grin.
"I thought you had to take out piercings when you get here," Sly said. His
tongue darted out and toyed with with the piercing ball.
"They didn't know I have that one," Noiz said as he stared down at Sly. His
fingernails bit into his palms as he willed himself to get hard. Sly's
ministrations were well-received, but unless the other male was rougher, Noiz
wouldn't get hard.
Sly took his length in his mouth. The blue-haired male moaned and gripped
Noiz's thigh. Noiz released a small gasp as he stared down at the boy's face.
Sly bobbed his head up and down. His tongue worked eagerly against Noiz's
piercing. Noiz gasped with Sly's teeth caught on the piercing. 
"Sorry," Sly said as he pulled off.
"No, do it again," Noiz said as he grabbed Sly's hair.
Sly suppressed a small wince as Noiz tugged on his hair. He bent forward and
took Noiz in his mouth again. He played his teeth against the piercing.
"Like that," Noiz said. "Bite it too."
"Seriously?" Sly said as he pulled off Noiz's dick. "Oh, right. It won't hurt,
will it?"
"No, but it'll feel good," Noiz said.
"Alright," Sly said with a shrug. He swallowed Noiz's length again. He
tightened his jaw and pressed his teeth into Noiz cock.
Noiz moaned as his length swelled. Sly whined loudly. He worked his tongue
Noiz's piercing as he tightened his teeth. Noiz hissed and grabbed Sly's head
with both hands.
"Can I?" he asked as he moved his hips slightly to indicate what he meant.
"Mm-hm," Sly managed around Noiz's erection.
Noiz thrust into his mouth. Sly moaned loudly. He opened his throat as best he
could and bobbed his head with Noiz's thrusts.
"Keep biting," Noiz said. His length dragged against Sly's teeth and his
piercing caught every once and a while. "Fuck, that feels good."
Sly mewed eagerly. He slid his hand into his pants and drew out his own
erection. Noiz gasped as he watched Sly jerk himself off as he face-fucked him.
His grip tightened on Sly's hair and the boy whimpered. He picked up the pace
of his thrusting and Sly moaned loudly. He jerked himself off in pace with
Noiz.
"Sly, I'm gonna cum."
Sly nodded as best he could. He didn't pull off of Noiz's length. Noiz picked
up his pace until he was fucking into Sly's mouth ruthlessly. Sly choked and
sobbed. Tears leaked out of his eyes. Noiz came hard. His cum filled Sly's
mouth. The male whimpered loudly. Cum and saliva dripped out of the corners of
his mouth. Noiz pulled out slowly as Sly swallowed his cum.
Noiz sagged against the wall and stared down at the older male. Sly panted
loudly. His mouth hung open lewdly and cum and saliva dripped down his chin. He
continued to jerk himself off. Noiz stared down at him. Sly met his gaze
without shame. Soon, he was cumming into his fist. He gasped and his head fell
forward against Noiz's leg. Noiz patted his hair gently as Sly rode out his
orgasm.
"Fuck that was good," Sly said as he sat back on his heels. He brought his cum-
covered hand to his mouth and began to lick it clean.
Noiz gaped as he watched him. If he hadn't just cum so satisfyingly, he would
have gotten hard from the mere sight of Sly licking up his own smut juice. Sly
grinned up at him as he tucked himself into his pants. He stood up.
"How was that?" he asked. "You ever gotten blown that good before."
Noiz shook his head. He'd never gotten a blow job before. He'd only ever given
them out. Sly laughed. He patted Noiz's cheek.
"I had fun, kid." With that, he left the room. 
Noiz watched the door swing shut behind him. Was that it? Noiz's stomach
twisted. He was used to cumming and going, but something about this time made
him feel cheap and used. He tucked himself back into his pants and left the
room. He went back to the common room to watch the end of the movie. Sly was
nowhere in sight. 
When the movie was finished and the patients were told to return to their room,
Noiz founded Sly on his bed. The boy looked up when he entered and gave him a
friendly smile.
"Hi, Noiz. How have you been?"
"Fuck," Noiz muttered under his breath. Aoba was back; he wasn't sure whether
this was a blessing or not. He walked to his bed and flopped down on his face.
"Um," Aoba said. "Did something happen with you and Sly?"
"Nothing," Noiz said into his pillow.
"Oh, okay," Aoba said quietly. 
Noiz felt a twist of guilt, but he ignored it and tried to fall asleep. Maybe
Sly wouldn't front for a while so Noiz could work through this miasma of
tedious emotions.
***** Chapter 6 *****
Chapter Notes
     thanks for all the kudos and comments. i greatly appreciate all of
     them!
Noiz didn't sleep well. He'd never shared a room before, since his house had
been big enough to fit a small village. Having Aoba breathing peacefully mere
paces away from him was unnerving to say the least. On top of that, his anxiety
was making him completely wired. He spent most of the night scratching his arm
with manic determination. When blood came away under his fingernails, he
decided to call it quits. Mink's sixth sense would probably pick up on the fact
that he'd manage to harm himself enough to bleed, and he needed to be on his
best behavior to convince the doctors here that he could leave. He might have
been admitted by his parents, but the doctors had the last say in the matter.
With this in mind, Noiz decided to visit Mink's office the first chance he got.
After shoveling a quick breakfast into his mouth, he went to one of the wardens
and asked to see Mink. The warden agreed, but first he had to get his vitals
taken at the nurses station, as was customary for Saturday mornings. Luckily,
he had scratched up his right arm and they took his blood pressure using his
left arm. After he was finished with that, the warden took him to Mink's
office. The man knocked quietly and Mink bid them entry.
"Noiz wanted to see you," the warden explained. He ushered Noiz inside and shut
the door behind him.
"What can I do for you, Noiz?" Mink asked as he slid his thin metal glasses off
his nose. He folded them carefully in his large hands and laid them beside the
paperwork he had been perusing.
"Uh, I had a question," Noiz said as he walked to one of the armchairs across
the desk from Mink. He perched on the edge of the cushion. "When exactly do you
think I could leave? I know it's just the third day, but this was really my
step-father's idea and I think I'm fine, you know, so, like..." Noiz trailed
off. He glanced up at Mink.
"I understand," Mink said with a nod. "The evaluation period can take anywhere
from five to thirty days. After that, we'll be able to work out a schedule for
how long you'll be here."
"So, where's the evaluation process right now?" Noiz pressed. 
"Right now," Mink said, "I'm rather concerned about you, honestly." He stood up
and walked around the desk. He leaned back against the tabletop and gestured to
Noiz's right arm. "May I?"
Noiz swallowed. He dropped his eyes to the floor as he held out his hand. Mink
caught his fingers lightly in his hand and gently pushed his sleeve back from
his wrist. The pale pink abrasions on his wrist were revealed. Mink nodded. He
released Noiz's hand and fetched a first aide kit from his desk. He slid on a
pair of rubber gloves then took out an anti-biotic and a bandaid. Returning to
Noiz's side, he carefully administered the ointment and then put the bandaid
on.
"How'd you know?" Noiz asked as he watched Mink threw the gloves and bandaid
wrapper away.
"It's my job to know," Mink said with a small smile. He sat down in his chair
once more and draped his arms over the arms of the chair. "Little movements
like tugging on the hem of your sleeve and folding your right arm under the
left are all cues to me. Were you feeling anxious when you did that?"
"Yes," Noiz said. 
"In your file it says you have congenital insensitivity to pain."
"Ah, what?"
"You can't feel pain."
"Oh, yeah," Noiz said. He scratched his chin with his thumbnail. 
"When you did that were you focusing on the act or was it just giving you
something to do with your hands?"
"Just something to do," Noiz said with a shrug. 
"That's a byproduct of the anxiety." Mink nodded. "Do you feel anxious a lot?"
"I guess," Noiz said. "Just like nervous all the time?"
"Yes, that's the anxiety," Mink said. "When you self-harm, are you anxious then
too?"
"No," Noiz said.
Something about the way Mink spoke put him at ease. There was no judgement. He
was treating all of Noiz's proclivities as natural, which was at odds with how
his mother and step-father had always behaved. They had always said there was
something wrong with him. Noiz didn't doubt that Mink would agree with that,
but there didn't feel to be as much negativity associated with it.
"I do it because maybe I'll be able to feel it someday." Noiz shrugged. "I like
how it looks too," he whispered under his breath. "Like the blood and the
scars."
"I understand," Mink said, and Noiz knew he did. "Have you ever thought about
killing yourself?"
"No," Noiz said earnestly. "It's not like that."
"Oftentimes it's not like that," Mink said. "Many of the patients I see have
said that their self-harm has nothing to do with being suicidal. To return to
your question I would say that I will be able to give a full evaluation by
Monday. Right now you're looking at a few months here, but that is always
subject to change."
"Oh," Noiz said. His shoulders sagged. 
"I know most of my patients don't want to be here," Mink said with a smile,
"but I can promise you I can help you." 
Noiz shrugged. Mink couldn't fix the one problem that he wanted fixed most of
all. He couldn't make Noiz feel pain. Without pain, he wasn't even human, and
no one would ever treat him as human. He was just a thing, like a chair or
book. Inanimate objects couldn't feel pain. Noiz was nothing more than a chair
that had learned to walk and talk, and people would only ever use him. 
"Your family will be able to come visit you on Sundays," Mink said.
"Like, tomorrow?" Noiz asked. His eyes were wide and he could feel panic
creeping up his throat.
"No," Mink said. His eyes narrowed slightly as he read Noiz's panic. "While
you're in the evaluation period, you won't have visitors. Noiz, do you not want
your family to come see you here?"
"I just," Noiz mumbled as he scratched his arm through his sleeve. He stopped
when he felt Mink's eyes on the movement. "I don't want my little brother to
see me here."
"Theo," Mink said with a nod. "How old is he?"
"Thirteen."
"It might be hard for him to understand what's going on, but his visiting you
will help you and him come to terms with this."
Noiz shrugged. Mink didn't understand, and he wouldn't be able to unless Noiz
told him the whole story. He had absolutely no intention of doing that. The
look of sheer terror on Theo's face the last time he'd seen him was enough to
make him want to vomit. He couldn't imagine what his brother thought of him
now, or what his step-father had told him. How had the man explained what Theo
had walked in on? Was there even an explanation? Noiz shivered. He didn't want
to think about what his step-father had told Theo, or what he had had or would
do to him. 
"Noiz."
Noiz blinked and looked up from the desk, which he had been boring a hole into
with his eyes. Mink was crouched beside him. His hand rested on Noiz's knee and
he was staring up at him with an earnest expression. When Noiz's eyes found
his, his face softened and he smiled.
"Are you okay?"
"Uh, yeah, sorry."
"No need to apologize," Mink said with a shake of his head. He stood up. "Did
something I say trigger that?"
"Trigger what?" Noiz asked. 
"When you zone out like that, it's called disassociating. Don't worry, it's
rather common. There are many benign forms of it. Does that happen a lot?
Getting lost in thought and losing time."
"I think so," Noiz said. 
"Do you know what might have triggered it?" Mink asked. 
"No." Yes. Any and all mention of Theo dragged him into the dark recesses of
his mind. He shook his head to try to fight off the thoughts. If he didn't
think of Theo, then he wouldn't do the disassociating thing that Mink had
talked about.
"Don't worry," Mink said. "We'll work through that. This can count as your one-
on-one therapy session for today. We have them every Saturday. Group will be in
the afternoon today. You have the rest of the morning to either attend a
seminar on healthy routines or work out in the fitness room," Mink explained.
"Uh, okay," Noiz said as he stood up. "Thank you."
"Of course, Noiz, and you can always come talk to me if you need to, like you
did today. You don't need to wait for one-on-ones."
"Thanks," Noiz said with a nod. He left the room.
===============================================================================
Noiz ended up opting for the work out option. He didn't much enjoy the thought
of sitting around listening to someone rattle on at him. He'd never been one
for working out, but doing something sounded a lot more appealing than doing
nothing. He asked one of the wardens about the fitness room and the man
escorted him down the hall past the common room.
The fitness room was rather small. The floors were covered in black mats. There
weren't any free weights, which didn't come as a surprise since the hospital
probably didn't want their patients bludgeoning themselves or anyone else. A
couple of weight machines stood in the room and the far wall was lined with
tread mills. Large bay windows, lined with chicken wire, looked out over the
woods that surrounded the back of the hospital. Koujaku, Mizuki, and Aoba were
already in the fitness room.
"Hi, Noiz!" Aoba called when he spotted him. He waved him over.
The trio were standing by the tread mills. They were all dressed in athletic
clothes. Noiz didn't own any shorts and he certainly didn't want to wear t-
shirts here. Koujaku and Aoba both had their hair tied back in high ponytails,
though Koujaku's bangs still concealed the right side of his face. Noiz flushed
slightly. They were all exceptionally good-looking, even Koujaku for all his
glowering. 
"Hey, Noiz," Mizuki said, clapping him on the shoulder. "We were just going
over our workout routine. Wanna do it?"
"Ah, no thanks," Noiz said.
"Figures," Koujaku said with a snort. "Have you ever worked out before?"
Noiz rolled his eyes. Was Koujaku really so overcompensatingly hetero that he
had actually almost said "Do you even lift, bro?"
"Koujaku, lay off," Aoba said, elbowing Koujaku in the side. "Noiz can do
whatever he wants."
Noiz took this to mean he could wander off and do just that. He went to one of
the treadmills and climbed onto it. He still had his slippers on and he'd never
run more than ten feet in his whole life, so he set the treadmill on the
lightest setting. He walked slowly on the rotating track and stared out at the
trees. The leaves were all vibrant shades of green; they stood out in stark
contrast to the white-washed hospital ward. 
Aoba turned on the radio. Noiz watched the group in the reflective glass of the
window as they set to working out. Ignoring the fact that the blue-haired boy
was his kind and soft spoken self right now, Noiz still enjoyed watching him
pumping iron. He wore a loose tank top and shorts that fell to his mid-thigh.
His legs were long and looked completely hairless. It wasn't possible that they
were, though, since the patients weren't allowed to have razors. 
Noiz spent his 'work out' watching Aoba in the glass. He spared a few glances
for Koujaku and Mizuki as well since neither of them were bad-looking, but for
the most part his gaze as well as his thoughts stayed with the blue-haired
male. He still hadn't worked through his feelings regarding Sly. He had been
utterly and completely dismissed by him the night before. Had Sly only wanted
to get with him and now he was sated? He was a self-proclaimed slut and
probably wasn't getting any from the other patients or any of the wardens, so
Noiz really was his only option. This thought was both reassuring and
disconcerting. It meant that he'd get to hook-up with Sly again, but it also
meant that Sly only wanted him because he was the only one putting out. 
When the fitness period finally came to a close, Noiz still wasn't sure what he
should do about Sly. He trailed after the other patients to the shower room.
Thankfully, there were private stalls for each patient with a curtain that
concealed the person inside. Noiz was exceptionally shy of his body. It was his
own fault that his arms and abdomen were covered in scars, but all the same he
didn't want anyone else to see them. 
After lunch was group. Noiz managed to get through it without having to talk
much. Mink focused on Clear for the most part. He hadn't taken his mask off for
several days, which was a huge step backward for him. Noiz didn't fully
understand what his problem was but apparently he had issue seeing his face in
the mirror. Group was designed so that other patients would speak up to offer
insight into Clear's issue. Mizuki, Clear's roommate, talked a lot. He was
clearly worried about his roommate and offered as much advice as he could. 
Once group had finished, it was time for individual therapy sessions. Since
Noiz had already had his, he was allowed to use that time how ever he liked. He
sat in the common room doing brain teaser puzzles. He wished he had a phone or
anything that could connect him to the internet. The puzzles were amusing for
the first twenty minutes, but then Noiz was dead bored. Nevertheless, he made
it through free time and dinner without going stir-crazy. 
When it was finally time to turn in for the night, he realized that he'd been
holding out hope that Sly would resurface. Instead, it was Aoba bidding him
goodnight. Noiz had to admit that if Sly had been around things would have been
a lot more interesting. He also might have gotten laid. He sighed quietly as he
stared up at the ceiling. He really shouldn't be so eager to see Sly.
Apparently, he wasn't supposed to even exist, and Aoba was trying to his
hardest to stay in his own mind. On top of that, Sly was a complete asshole and
was probably just using him for sex. Noiz sighed again and rolled over on his
side. He wasn't sure how he was going to get through several months of being
locked up in here, but at the very least he wouldn't have to endure any
visitors tomorrow. Maybe his mother would keep Theo away from here. It was the
least he could hope for. With this in mind, Noiz drifted off to sleep.
***** Chapter 7 *****
 “Morning, Noiz!”
Noiz looked up at the sound of Clear’s cheerful voice filtering through his
mask. Noiz had been one of the first in the cafeteria Sunday morning. There was
an extra hour to sleep on Sunday, or go to the hospital chapel for mass. Noiz
had woken about a half-hour before the wardens made their rounds of the
bedrooms. He had been roused from sleep by the sound of the door closing.
Noiz had gotten up to go to the bathroom, where he suspected to find Aoba, but
the other patient was nowhere to be found. One of the hall monitors, Trip, who
looked a lot like Virus, but claimed not to be related to him, escorted him to
and from the bathroom. Then he was allowed to go to breakfast early. He didn’t
ask about where Aoba was, though he wasn’t certain what had kept him from doing
so.
“Hi," Noiz said as he watched Clear, Mizuki, and Koujaku sit down at his table.
He wasn’t certain why the group had taken to hanging out with him. Maybe it was
due to the fact that he was Aoba’s roommate.
“Is your grandfather coming to visit today, Clear?” Mizuki asked as he squirted
ketchup onto his scrambled eggs.
“No,” Clear said mournfully. “He isn’t feeling well. I talked to him on the
phone yesterday though so that was nice. What about you?”
“My friends are coming,” Mizuki said excitedly.
“They haven’t come in awhile, right?” Koujaku said.
“Right.” Mizuki nodded. “They’ve been busy with college apps and shit like
that.”
“Shit like being normal?” Koujaku muttered under his breath.
“Yeah, basically.”
The group drifted into silence. Noiz poked at his eggs with his fork, but he
wasn’t particularly hungry. He was a touch worried since Aoba hadn’t shown up
yet. Koujaku seemed to share this feeling since he looked up from his food
every once and a while to scan the cafeteria.
“Noiz—“ Koujaku began, but he cut off at the sight of the blue-haired patient
entering the cafeteria. He groaned loudly.
It was obvious that Sly was the one present this morning. He was grinning
cheekily, while Trip scowled down at him. The blond warden was talking to him a
low voice. He looked very peeved, but Sly didn’t seem to take much notice of
the man’s words. Trip left him with a few choice words and Sly got his food. He
walked over to Noiz’s table and dropped down beside his roommate. Noiz shifted
away from him slightly. This was the first time seeing Sly since they’d hooked
up and the thought embarrassed him.
“‘Sup, Sly,” Mizuki said with a grin.
“Hey, Mizuki,” Sly said. He was still smiling, but there was something hollow
about the expression. He hunched over his food and began shoveling eggs into
his mouth.
Mizuki frowned at Sly’s less than amicable response. He shrugged
and engaged Koujaku in conversation. Clear chimed in a few times. Sly didn’t
say a word, which was very unlike him. Noiz fiddled with his fork and glanced
over at the blue-haired youth.
“Is anyone visiting you today?” Noiz asked, repeating the small talk that
Mizuki opened with.
“Fuck no,” Sly said with a snort.
“Oh,” Noiz said when Sly didn’t say anything else.
“What about you?” Sly asked. He glanced over at Noiz with his glinting yellow
eyes.
“Ah, I’m still in my evaluation period,” Noiz said. He looked down at his tray
to escape Sly’s gaze.
“Right,” Sly said with a nod.
Noiz glanced down at the bench, which was shaking slightly. Sly’s leg was
bouncing up and down. It wasn’t particularly bothering Noiz, but Sly was
already behaving differently. Noiz reached out and put his hand on Sly’s knee.
He felt Sly glance at him questioningly, but he kept his gaze on his food.
Sly’s leg stilled and he breathed a small sigh.
Group followed breakfast and visiting hours would be after lunch, Noiz learned
as he followed Mizuki and Clear in to the common room. He glanced over his
shoulder. Sly was trailing behind him. His hands were shoved in his pockets and
his eyes were on the floor. Noiz had held his knee for the remainder of
breakfast and that seemed to have relaxed some of Sly’s nervous energy.
Noiz sat down in his usual seat, but Sly took the chair beside him instead of
sitting across the way with Mizuki and Koujaku. Sly slouched down in his chair.
He crossed his ankles and folded his arms. It looked like he was trying to tie
himself into a knot. Noiz looked across the circle to where Mizuki and Koujaku
sat. Koujaku was watching the blue-haired patient with a frown. Mizuki leaned
in and whispered something in Koujaku’s ear. Koujaku nodded.
“Good morning,” Mink said as he walked into the room. He was greeted with a
sparse chorus of greetings. He took his seat beside Clear and initiated
introductions.
Noiz gave his abbreviated introduction. He had already forgotten what Mink had
called his condition and he probably wouldn’t have felt very inclined to share
it even if he hadn't forgotten. After him was Sly’s turn. The boy muttered his
name under his breath, but didn’t say anything else. Mink nodded and let the
introductions continue.
When the introductions had ended, Mink gave a few announcements. Noiz didn’t
pay attention. He was watching Sly out of the corner of his eye. His hooded
eyes were rooted on the floor in front of him.
“Sly,” Mink said. “I see you’re fronting again today.”
“Yeah,” Sly said. He glanced over at Mink.
“Is there a particular reason why you think you’re fronting?” Mink asked.
“Take a wild guess.” Sly sneered.
“Sly,” Mink said, “don’t you think it’s time for Aoba to face these next few
days himself?”
“He doesn’t want to,” Sly shot back.
“Does he not want to? Or are you not letting him?” Mink asked slowly.
“You calling me a liar?” Sly snapped. The blue-haired male plowed on before
Mink could respond. “He doesn’t want to. It’s not a fun time for either us, but
Aoba especially gets really upset about it, so, just, back off.” Sly ground out
the words through gritted teeth.
“Sly,” Koujaku said from across the circle, “maybe you should let Aoba be here
for this.”
“Let?” Sly scoffed. “There is no ‘let’, you moron. He doesn’t want to deal with
this, which means I’m here. That’s how it works.”
Noiz’s eyes widened at the slitted glare Sly was directing toward Koujaku. The
other patient returned the gaze with an equally heated expression. Mizuki put a
hand on his forearm.
“Let’s leave it at that,” Mink said.
The pair broke their gazes at the same time and went about scowling at the
floor. Mink turned to another patient and group continued. Noiz watched Sly
through the rest of group. The male barely blinked as he stared at the floor.
His knee twitched every once and a while, but he seemed determined to keep it
from shaking.
When group ended, Sly bolted out of his chair and left the room without a word.
Noiz followed after him. One of the wardens told him it was lunchtime; he had
said the same to Sly as he had passed, but the blue-haired patient had
completely ignored him. Noiz just muttered something about not being hungry.
“It’s alright, Charles,” Mink said as he walked over to Noiz and the warden.
“Noiz, if you can, get Sly to come to lunch, but otherwise try to make it
yourself.”
“Okay,” Noiz said. He turned and hurried down the hall to the room he shared
with Sly, where the other patient on gone.
Noiz pushed the door open slowly. Sly was lying on his bed with his feet
propped on the wall. His arm was thrown over his face. Noiz walked across the
room. He stopped at the edge of the bed. Sly dropped his arm to the mattress
and stared up at him.
“What?” he said.
“I just wanted to check on you,” Noiz mumbled under his breath.
“Hm, what was that?” Sly snapped. “Didn’t quite catch that.”
“I just.” Noiz rubbed the back of his neck. His eyes flitted around. “Never
mind.” He wrinkled his nose and turned away.
“Sorry, man,” Sly said as he dropped his feet to floor. “It’s just a bad day.
Sorry.”
“S’okay,” Noiz said with a small smile. He turned back around and sat down on
the bed next to Sly.
“Thanks for what you did at breakfast,” Sly said. He leaned back on his palms
on the mattress.
“No problem,” Noiz said. “What exactly was group about?” He hadn’t followed the
conversation at all.
“That.” Sly let out a heavy sigh. He stared up at the ceiling. “Tomorrow will
be the day Aoba and I got adopted twelve years ago. It was…bad. We bounced
around foster homes for a while since that first family sucked ass. Aoba was
really upset about the whole thing.”
“How come?” Noiz asked. “Don’t kids wanna get adopted? Well, I mean, unless the
family sucks.”
“Wasn’t that,” Sly said with a shake of his head. “Aoba’s twin brother didn’t
get adopted with us."
“Oh,” Noiz said quietly. “That sucks.”
“Yeah,” Sly said with a dry chuckle. “Sure does. That’s why Aoba always hunkers
down for a few days around this time, which means I’ll be here for quite some
time.” He flashed Noiz a wolfish grin.
Noiz flushed and looked away quickly. He muttered something under his breath
about how they should go to lunch.
“I’m not feeling up to it,” Sly said in a overly dramatic mopey voice.
“We’re supposed to go to lunch,” Noiz said.
“Mm, gimme a kiss and I might.”
“What?” Noiz scoffed. His cheeks flared to a bright red.
“Come on, Noiz,” Sly coaxed as he rested his head against Noiz’s shoulder.
“Just a small one.”
“Fine, just a small one,” Noiz muttered. He was still blushing as he leaned
down and brushed his lips against Sly. He had half-expected Sly to jump him,
but Sly accept the soft kiss and didn’t push for more. Noiz pulled away.
“Alright, now I feel ready to go.” Sly laughed quietly. He stood up and walked
to the door. “Coming?” He looked over his shoulder at Noiz, who was gnawing his
lip.
The younger male pushed himself off the bed. He left the room with Sly, but
refused to meet his gaze. He was still blushing a bright red when they reached
the cafeteria. Thankfully, no one noticed or, if they did, they didn’t comment.
===============================================================================
During visiting hours, Noiz, Sly, Koujaku, and Clear decided to play ping pong.
Things went well for the first few games, until Sly and Koujaku took it upon
themselves to try to hit each other in the face with every shot. The wardens
stepped in when Koujaku managed to land on shot straight in Sly's eye socket.
The boys were separated and lost their ping pong privileges. Sly sulked on the
couch with an ice pack on his face while Koujaku went off to his room. Noiz and
Clear kept playing a much more friendly and rule-abiding version of ping pong.
Neither of them were particularly good at, but Noiz found himself enjoying
playing with Clear. The white-haired patient was funny in an odd way. His
perpetual cheerfulness was a little off-putting, but Noiz didn't mind it as
long as Clear didn't try to force him to be all kumbaya with him.
Sly cheered on Noiz in that he jeered every time Clear messed up a shot. When
Clear looked like he was on the verge of tears, Noiz spiked the plastic ball in
Sly's face. Sly wailed and rolled around the couch in an overly dramatized
manner. Noiz lost his ping pong privileges for the week, like Koujaku and Sly
had, but at least Clear didn't look upset anymore. He and Clear played some
cards together. Sly sulked for a while, but finally joined them.
When visiting hours ended, Mizuki found them still playing cards and opted to
partake. Koujaku emerged a little while after and decided to play as well. He
and Sly provided running entertainment in their near constant bickering, but at
least they didn't come to blows. Their playing was interrupted briefly by
dinner, but they returned to the game right after. Noiz found that he was
thoroughly enjoying himself. He hadn't thought this was in the least bit
possible, but when they had to return to their rooms for the night, he found
himself feeling sorry that the game had to end. 
He soon forgot about the game when he realized that he and Sly were about to be
stuck in their room together for the entire night. After he'd changed into a
long-sleeved shirt and sleeping shorts, he sat at the head of his bed and tried
to focus on the book that Aoba had borrowed from the library cart at some
point. Sly was still in the bathroom. He was probably engaging in a wet towel
fight with Koujaku or something.
Noiz devoted so much energy focusing on the book that he actually managed to
read a few pages before Sly returned. The other patient's hair was damp and
tied up in a messy bun. He cast Noiz a quick grin by way of greeting before
moving to his dresser. A warden stood in the doorway. He checked Noiz off and
told them lights-out would be in thirty minutes. He left, shutting the door
behind him.
Noiz quickly dropped his gaze to his book when Sly began to strip. He looked up
again when Sly dropped onto his bed with a sigh. He was dressed in a loose tank
top and sweat pants.
"How's your eye doing?" Noiz asked, closing the book and placing it on his
bedside table.
"It's fine," Sly said. He tentatively touched the light bruising around his
left eye with the tips of his fingers. "Didn't hurt too much. You didn't have
to hit me too." Sly shot him a dramatic pout.
"You didn't have to be an ass to Clear either," Noiz pointed out.
"True, but he looks cute when he cries," Sly said with a shrug. He earned an
eye roll from Noiz. Sly stood up and crossed the gap between their beds in two
strides. "He's not the only one who looks cute when he cries." 
"I've never cried in front of you," Noiz snapped. 
Sly laughed quietly as he climbed onto the bed. Noiz pressed back against the
headboard as the older male moved forward on his knees. He reached out a hand
and carefully ran his fingers through Noiz's hair. Noiz bit his lip. As Sly
loomed over him, his warring thoughts about whether he would hook up with his
roommate again vanished from his mind. 
"What are you going to do?" Noiz asked with a challenging gaze as he stared up
at Sly. 
"Make you cry," Sly murmured. He yanked back on Noiz's hair, hard, a fact that
Noiz only registered because it took half a second for his neck to be pulled
taught. 
He swallowed and his Adam's apple bobbed pronouncedly. Sly grinned and slid a
hand down the front of his pants. Noiz gasped and his bit his lip. His eyes
flickered back to Sly's face. He didn't want to just jump right in; that was
how it was with every other hook up he had. 
"Kiss me," he whispered hoarsely. His cheeks flushed.
Sly's eyes widened. He immediately ducked down and slammed his lips against
Noiz's. Noiz moaned against his mouth and clutched at the front of his shirt.
Sly's fist tightened in his hair; he had probably ripped out a few strands by
now. Sly slid his tongue into Noiz's mouth, causing him to moan again. When it
had grown hard for both of them to breath, Sly pulled back. They panted in
unison. Noiz quickly dropped his gaze with a blush. Sly laughed quietly as he
straightened up.
"Satisfied?"
Noiz nodded by way of answer. Sly laughed again. He drew out his length in his
fist. Noiz's eyes widened as he stared at the hardened erection. Sly's cock was
thick and curved. Noiz swallowed and licked his lips. Sly's breath caught and
Noiz glanced up at him. Sly's cheeks were dusted with pink. His yellow eyes
glimmered as he met Noiz's green ones. 
Noiz held his gaze as Sly shifted forward on the mattress. The tip of his cock
brushed Noiz's lips. Noiz leaned forward. Sly's hand loosened in his hair to
give him room to work. Noiz slipped his lips over the tip of Sly's cock and
sucked lightly. Sly breathed a soft sigh. Noiz's tongue darted out and he
flicked it against the slit. He slid his lips slowly over the length of Sly's
cock. His tongue worked the underside of the cock. Sly grunted. 
Noiz opened his eyes and looked up. Sly was biting his lip as he stared down at
Noiz. He grinned when he caught the other male's gaze. Noiz blushed and dropped
his gaze. Sly brought his hands to either side of Noiz's head. His fingers slid
between the locks of Noiz's hair. 
Noiz pulled slowly off his cock. His lips left the tip with a pop. He stuck his
tongue out and swirled it around the tip. Lightly, he scraped his teeth over
the tip. Sly's hips jerked, bumping the crown of his cock against Noiz's
clenched teeth. He groaned and his hands tightened in Noiz's hair. 
"Take it all in," Sly said in a tight voice.
Noiz nodded and opened his mouth. Sly guided his head forward as Noiz focused
on opening his throat as much as possible. His eyes were screwed shut tight in
anticipation for his gag reflex to act up. He swallowed around Sly's cock. Sly
moaned loudly and slammed his hips forward. Noiz's eyes shot open as his nose
was pressed against Sly's lower abdomen. His throat convulsed and his shoulders
shook.
"Relax," Sly whispered as he rubbed slow circles into the back of Noiz's neck.
He pulled out slowly. "Sorry 'bout that."
Noiz glared up at him. His eyes were prickling with tears in reaction to the
sudden abuse of the back of his mouth. He swallowed as best he could.
Nevertheless, saliva had began to trail down his chin. 
"I'm going to move," Sly hissed.
Noiz nodded. Sly thrust back in. Noiz managed not to choke this time. He kept
his throat open as Sly began to fuck his mouth at a slow pace. He squeezed his
eyes shut and tears leaked out of the corners. Sly hissed as he picked up his
pace. Noiz sucked in deep breaths through his nose whenever it wasn't plastered
against Sly's stomach. His throat was beginning to constrict and this probably
would have grown painful for now if not for his condition.
"I'm gonna cum, Noiz," Sly said through gritted teeth. 
Noiz's eyes flashed open and he stared up at Sly pleadingly. Sly had to pull
out or Noiz was going to get a lungful of cum. Sly pulled out half-way and Noiz
breathed a sigh through his nose. He worked his tongue against Sly's cock and
Sly came hard. He pumped hot strings of cum into Noiz's mouth. Noiz moaned and
swallowed as much as he could. Some dripped out of his mouth and down his chin.
Sly pulled out slowly with a satisfied gleam in his eyes. He released Noiz's
head and the boy dropped back against the headboard. He was panting as he wiped
his chin on his sleeve. Sly grinned at him as he tucked himself back into his
sweats.
"Fuck, you're good at that," Sly said with a shake of his head.
"Thanks," Noiz said in a husky voice. 
"Like, really good," Sly said. "Fuck that was the best blow job I've ever
gotten." Sly released as sigh as he dropped onto his ass. He leaned back on his
palms.
"You're welcome," Noiz said with a low laugh. 
"And look at your cute face," Sly said with a laugh. He sat forward and caught
Noiz's face between his hands. "I knew your crying face would be cute." He
laughed in a delighted fashion as he squished Noiz's cheeks together.
Noiz scowled at him. He knew his face was stained with tears, even though he
hadn't felt the pain that was associated with crying. Sly grinned. He leaned
forward and pressed a quick kiss to Noiz's lips. Noiz's eyes widened. He stared
at Sly as he pulled away. 
"You don't mind if I stay up?" he asked as he hopped off the bed. He grabbed
Aoba's book of the bedside table and climbed into his bed.
"It's not a problem," Noiz said, "but shouldn't you sleep some?"
"Sometimes Aoba slips back in when I sleep," Sly said as he crawled to the
window and propped the book on the windowsill. 
"So you aren't letting Aoba back in," Noiz said as he shuffled underneath his
covers. He rolled onto his stomach and propped himself up on his elbows.
"Sort of," Sly admitted quietly. He glowered down at the book. "I just don't
want to risk him fronting this week. He'll get really upset and when he gets
upset, he does stupid shit."
"I get it," Noiz said with shrug. He didn't, not really. The whole situation of
Aoba and Sly confused him to no end. Clear had explained it to him as two
people being stuck in one body and they took turns being in charge. It all
sounded a bit supernatural. "Well, goodnight," Noiz said. He settled down
against his covers.
"I'll turn the lights out when the warden comes around," Sly said.
"Mhm, I'm fine with them on," Noiz said. He usually fell asleep in front of his
computer with the lights on.
"Cool, night," Sly said.
Noiz hummed again as he curled up in a small ball. A soft blush was working its
way over his cheeks. This didn't feel like spending the night with someone
after a hook up--they weren't sleeping in the same bed after all--but there was
a level of intimacy between them that he'd never shared with anyone. The idea
unnerved him slightly. He liked Sly in a the-boy-entertained-him sort of way,
but he was also the secondary personality of someone, and they were locked in a
mental institute. This wasn't exactly the sort of place where he should get all
touchy-feely.
***** Chapter 8 *****
Chapter Notes
     Eder wanted to see Mink interact with other patients so I had him
     help Clear out (poor Clear bby uvu)
Monday mornings were always terrible for Clear. He had made the deal with Mink
a long time ago that he would at least try to take his mask off every Monday
before group. He was glad that the promise was simply that he would try, since
most mornings he could only stand in front of the bathroom mirror and stare at
‘his’ eyes. Sometimes he would reach up and pluck at the edge of the mask, but
most days he couldn’t take it off. The reason he was so glad that he only had
to try in order to keep his promise was because he hated the thought of letting
Mink down.
Even with this in mind, he was hunkered on Mink’s couch sniffling quietly. He
felt like he had let Mink down since he had once again failed to take his mask
off. The doctor was seated on the couch beside him. He was watching Clear with
those perfect sea-green eyes. Clear sobbed loudly at the thought. 
“Clear,” Mink said in his low, smooth voice, “it’s okay. You tried, and that’s
half the battle.”
“But I haven’t taken it off in a week,” Clear wailed. He dropped his face into
his hands.
“Do you have any idea why that’s the case?” Mink asked.
Clear shook his head, which caused another loud sob to be ripped from his lips.
He didn’t want to lie to Mink. If he lied, then Mink couldn’t help him, but
Clear couldn’t bear to tell him the truth. He had been agonizing all week over
what he couldn’t deny anymore: he had a crush on Mink.
“Why don’t you try it with me here,” Mink said. He stood up and crossed to his
desk.
Clear peeked through his fingers and watched him. Mink opened a drawer in his
desk and took out a mirror. He returned to the couch. Clear scooted over until
he was pressed against the arm of the couch as Mink sat down again. Tori, his
pet bird, shifted in his cage and fluttered his wings slightly. Sometimes, Mink
would let Tori out while Clear was in his office so the patient could stroke
his feathers.
“Here,” Mink said as he held out the mirror to Clear, “let’s give it a try.”
Clear carefully took the mirror from Mink and blinked down at ‘his’ reflection.
The face that was revealed above the mask was pale with a pair of light, pink
eyes, encircled by long, white lashes. Messy white bangs fell over ‘his’
forehead. He continued to stare at the eyes in the reflection for a long moment
before Mink spoke again.
“Do you want to try taking it off?” he asked. His voice was pitched even lower
than usual as if he was worried he might startle the patient if he spoke too
loudly.
Clear nodded, but he continued to sit perfectly still on the couch. He breathed
heavily through his nose, sniffing every once and a while to keep from dripping
snot over his face. In the mirror he could see a few tears caught on ‘his’
lashes.
“Do you want me to take it off for you?” Mink asked. He had done this a few
times before when Clear had been too paralyzed by fear to remove it himself.
Clear nodded again. Mink reached forward and carefully unhooked the mask from
Clear’s ears. He gently pulled it away. Clear scrunched his eyes shut as Mink
worked. When he felt cold air buffet his lower face, he shivered. He felt Mink
shift on the couch beside him. A strong hand rested on his lower back. Clear
gasped and his eyes shot open.
His eyes immediately found the mirror. He stared down at the face that was
reflected before him. Soft, pale cheeks; full lips; a small mole on ‘his’ chin.
His mind battled with itself to acknowledge that who he was looking at was
himself, and yet his right-hemisphere continued to deny that this was the case.
Ever since the accident that had left a fragment of metal buried in his right
temple, Clear had been unable to differentiate his face from that of a
stranger's.
“That's you, Clear,” Mink said as he leaned forward.
Clear gasped quietly. He watched as tears filled ‘his’ eyes. Mink had moved
such that Clear could see him in the mirror as well. The doctor had a soft
smile on his face as he stared down at Clear’s reflection.
“Me," Clear murmured quietly.
Mink carefully took a hold of Clear’s wrist. The boy gasped as Mink brought his
hand to his face. Mink held the back of his hand, which was only a touch larger
than the doctor’s palm, and pressed Clear's face gently against 'his' face.
“See," Mink said, "this is your face.”
Clear nodded slowly as he felt his hand brush his cheek and watched the same
thing happen in the mirror. Mink removed his hand and folded both of them in
his lap. Clear continued to careful stroke his face. His heart was in his
throat as he watched his movements in the mirror. Mink had never done something
like that before; he had never touched Clear like that before. Maybe he liked
Clear?
Clear shook his head. This was ridiculous; he shouldn’t even have a crush on
Mink, let alone think that he liked him. Mink was his doctor. He didn’t like
Clear. He was just doing his job.
As these thoughts raced through Clear’s head, his hands had begun to tremble.
He could hear Mink saying his name, but his blood was pounding in his ears.
Mink reached out and his fingers brushed Clear’s wrist.
Clear yelped and dropped the mirror. It shattered on the floor at his feet.
“I’m sorry; I’m sorry; I’m sorry,” he whispered.
Mink got off the couch and crouched down in front of him. He laid a gentle hand
on Clear’s knee and stared up at him.
“It’s okay, Clear,” he said. “I’ll clean that up; you don’t need to worry.” He
offered Clear a small smile.
Clear let out a sob as he stared down at Mink’s perfect face.This was terrible.
He shouldn’t like his doctor like this.
“Clear, what’s wrong?” Mink asked as his eyebrows furrowed. “Was it too much?”
“I’m fine.” Clear pushed to his feet.
Mink stared up at him with a confused frown. Clear had never had an outburst
like this before.
“What’s wrong?” he asked again.
“Nothing,” Clear snapped. “I said I’m fine.” With that, he rushed out of the
office. He couldn’t be around Mink anymore. He was so stupid to have a crush on
his doctor. He felt so utterly humiliated. He ran down the hallway, ignoring
the wardens that asked what was wrong. He reached his room and pushed inside.
Mizuki was out, for which he was grateful. He loved having Mizuki as a
roommate, but sometimes his concern was too much for him to handle. Clear
hurried to his bed and threw himself onto the mattress. He buried his face in
the pillow. It was only then that he realized that he didn’t have his mask on.
He whimpered and pushed his face deeper into the pillow. He wouldn't be able to
face Mink again unless he killed this crush.
===============================================================================
 "Noiz," Sly called from the shower stall a few doors down from Noiz's, "can I
borrow your shampoo?"
"Don't you have your own?" Noiz griped. 
He heard the sound of wet feet padding on the floor. The curtain was yanked
open. He yelped and spun around. Sly was standing stark naked in the doorway of
his shower stall. Noiz flushed a bright red as his eyes trailed down Sly's
dripping wet body. He was slender, but toned. His wet hair fell around his
face. He held the curtain aside, causing his bicep to bulge. His chest was
broad; his nipples a soft pink. His stomach hinted at a six pack. Before Noiz
could look further down, he ripped his eyes a way and turned his back on Sly.
"What the hell?" he grumbled. 
Sly just laughed as he reached through the water to grab Noiz's shampoo off the
shelf. The boy cried out and yanked his arm back. Noiz stared at him in
surprise as he cradled his arm to his chest.
"What the fuck, Noiz?" Sly yelled as he stared at Noiz in horror. 
His outburst had alerted the warden on duty, who entered the shower room and
hurried to their stall.
"What's going on?"
"What's wrong, Sly?" Noiz said at the same time as the warden spoke.
"The water is fucking scalding, dumb ass!" Sly snapped. He pushed Noiz aside,
and, daring the boiling water, grabbed the knob and yanked it to a colder
setting. He let out a relieved sigh as cold water poured over his arm.
Noiz stared at him in confusion. He was unable to feel the temperature of the
water; he would always just turn the water on and jump under the flow. He felt
a little bad that Sly had hurt himself, but he didn't understand why the boy
was freaking out.
"Did you burn yourself?" Sly demanded. He grabbed Noiz's shoulders and stared
him up and down intently.
"Sly, cut it out," Noiz gasped in embarrassment.
Sly spun him around and looked him over.
"Your skin's all pink," Sly said. "You could've burned yourself."
"Fuck off," Noiz mumbled. He wrapped his arms around himself and glowered at
Sly over his shoulder. It was impossible for him to hide the multitude of scars
that covered his body. He had changed multiple times in front of Sly, but he
had always pretended he wasn't there to give himself relief, but he couldn't
ignore this sort of scrutiny.
"Sly, that's enough," the warden said. "Go back to your shower and finish up."
Sly grumbled under his breath, but he snatched up Noiz's shampoo and marched
back to his shower. They had been the only one's in the bathroom since it was
almost lights-out. Noiz was grateful for this fact since it meant no one else
had witnessed the scene.
"Noiz," the warden said as he stared down at the patient.
"What? You checking me out?" Noiz growled.
The warden flushed brightly and looked away.
"No," he muttered. "If you can't feel how hot it is, we'll have to monitor the
water temperature," he went on in a more confident voice, though he continued
to stare anywhere but at Noiz. "I'll let Mink know."
"Whatever," Noiz muttered. He shut off the water and marched out of the shower.
He grabbed his towel, wrapped it around himself, and picked up his pile of
clothes. He didn't bother getting dressed before he hurried back to his room.
Hardly anyone would be in the halls at this hour, and he was too pissed off at
Sly for his breach of privacy to want to spend anymore time in the bathroom.
When he reached his room, he dumped his clothes on the floor and pulled on
sweatpants and long-sleeved shirt. He climbed into bed and threw the covers
over his head. He hated that Sly had seen him naked without his permission. It
was one thing when Noiz changed in front of him--at least then Noiz consciously
knew he was going to be naked in front of the other male.
The door of the bedroom opened. He heard footsteps approach his bed.
"I'm sorry," Sly said. "I didn't mean to upset you."
Noiz didn't answer. After a moment, Sly moved to his own  bed. Noiz heard the
springs creak as Sly climbed into bed. He released a small sigh and shifted
beneath his covers. It meant a lot to him that Sly had apologized. Sly hadn't
struck him as the type of person to apologize, or admit he had done something
wrong. He never did when he pissed Noiz off. Noiz had always been easy to
annoy, which manifested in him opting for sullen silences, and Sly was very
good at annoying everyone in the ward.
Regardless of Sly's constant, annoying antics, he and the other patient had
hooked up every night since Sunday; it was Thursday now. Noiz made it clear
each time that he was only comfortable with his clothes on. Sly wasn't at all
bashful about his body and more often than not he ended up naked by the time
things were over. They hadn't had sex yet and Sly hadn't pushed for it, though
his hands had wandered to Noiz's ass once or twice before Noiz put a definitive
end to that.
After several minutes of sulking under the covers, Noiz got out of bed. The
ward's patients were expected to keep their rooms tidy at all times. Though the
janitors saw to the common spaces, Mink expected the patients to keep their own
rooms clean. Noiz walked to the pile of clothes he had abandoned at the foot of
his bed. He knelt to pick them up. He could feel Sly's eyes on him as he went
to the laundry basket by his dresser and dumped the clothes, save for his
jeans, in it. He folded his jeans and put them neatly in the second drawer.
Sly's strong arms wrapped around his waist. He yelped, causing the older male
to chuckle in his ear. He hadn't even heard Sly move. Sly nuzzled against
Noiz's cheek.
"Are you still mad at me?" he whined.
"Yes," Noiz said shortly as he gripped the edge of the drawer.
"I'm sorry," Sly whispered. He dragged his tongue over the shell of Noiz's ear.
Noiz gasped and his hips jerked. Sly laughed again as he began to nibble his
way down Noiz's neck. Suddenly, the door began to creak open. Sly was across
the room in a matter of seconds. He was leaning against his dresser
nonchalantly by the time the warden had opened the door entirely. 
"Lights out," the man said. 
"Sure thing," Sly said with a grin. He started toward his bed to reinforce this
claim.
Noiz was too busy blushing and staring at the floor to respond. The warden
nodded and flicked off their light switch. He closed the door. As soon as the
lock had clicked, Sly was pressed against Noiz's back once more. 
"I don't want you to be mad at me," he purred as he slid his hands over Noiz's
chest. 
"I am," Noiz stuttered as Sly began to play with his nipples through his shirt.
"Are you sure?" Sly breathed. He ground his crotch against Noiz's ass.
"Yes," Noiz said with a gasp. 
Sly laughed quietly as he slid a hand into Noiz's pants and drew out his slowly
hardening length. Noiz whimpered as Sly gripped his dick in his strong hand.
His roommate dug his teeth firmly into the flesh of Noiz's shoulder. Noiz cried
out and rutted his hips back.
"Still mad?" Sly asked as he began to jerk Noiz off.
"Y-yes," Noiz panted as he pushed his hips back. He could feel Sly's erection
pressing against his ass and he moaned loudly.
Sly hummed quietly. He slid his other hand down Noiz's spine. When he reached
the edge of Noiz's pants, he slowly pushed his fingers beneath the waistband. 
"Let me make it up to you," he said. He nibbled Noiz's earlobe, causing the boy
to gasp quietly.
Noiz nodded eagerly. He could feel Sly's grin against the side of his neck. Sly
pulled his hand away from Noiz's pants. He fished around in his pocket before
pulling something out. 
"What are you doing?" Noiz looked over his shoulder and looked down at Sly's
hand. 
Sly had pulled out a small tube of lube and was dexterously applying the liquid
to his fingers.
"Where did you get that?" Noiz asked.
"Trip," Sly said shortly.
"Why--" Before Noiz could finish his query, Sly had yanked down his pants. He
gasped as cold air buffeted his ass. All this time, Sly had been lazily jerking
him off. Without anything close to 'pain', Noiz wouldn't cum though.
Sly slid his lubed fingers against the crack of Noiz's ass. Noiz gasped and
pushed his ass back. Sly pressed his forefinger against Noiz's entrance. Noiz
could feel his heart trying to escape his chest as Sly slowly worked his
finger past the ring of muscle. He whined as his ass stretched around the
digit. 
"Fuck," Sly whispered as he pushed his finger in further. "You're so fucking
tight."
Noiz whimpered and pushed his ass back, trying to bury Sly's finger deeper
inside of him. Sly, however, pulled his finger out all of sudden. Noiz whined.
He didn't have to worry, though, since Sly was suddenly pushing two fingers
inside of him. 
"This doesn't hurt, right?" Sly said tightly.
"N-no," Noiz panted as his ass stretched. "Put in another." He looked at Sly
over his shoulder. His cheeks were dusted with pink and his eyes glistened
desperately.
Sly's eyes widened. He fucked his fingers in and out of Noiz slowly, but made
no move to add another.
"Are you sure?" he said as his fist tightened around Noiz's cock.
"Mm-hm," Noiz said, nodding quickly.
Sly swallowed. He carefully pulled his fingers out. He released Noiz's length
and took the lube out of his pocket again. He dribbled some more onto his
fingers and spread the liquid around before pushing three fingers in. Noiz
quickly turned his head against his shoulder and bit down on his own flesh to
keep his cry from being heard. It didn't hurt in the slightest, but the stretch
was filling him with aching pleasure. His dick throbbed and he whimpered as he
pushed his ass back.
"Holy shit, Noiz," Sly whispered as he began to thrust his fingers in and out
quickly. "Fuck, can I put it in?"
"Yes," Noiz whimpered desperately. Any hesitation he had felt the previous
nights had completely vanished from his mind, which was now clouded in
pleasure. "Please."
Sly hissed quietly. He dragged his fingers out slowly, curling them slightly as
he did so. Noiz grunted and his eyes rolled back in his head. Sly quickly drew
his length out of his pants. He dripped the rest of the lube onto his cock
and coated his entire length.
"I don't have a condom," he said, "but I swear I'm clean."
"S-same," Noiz said. 
"You're okay with it?" Sly asked as he carefully brought the head of his cock
to Noiz's twitching opening.
"I've never used a condom," Noiz admitted. His grip on the drawer tightened and
he glanced at Sly over his shoulder.
"And you don't have anything, right?" Sly said as he pressed his cock against
Noiz's entrance.
"I don't," Noiz snapped indignantly.
"Hey, hey, just checking," Sly said through gritted teeth as he pushed his dick
into Noiz's hole.
Noiz gasped and dropped his head against the drawer. His ass stretched around
Sly's dick as the other male slowly pushed inside of him. Noiz began to pant
and his ass clenched around Sly's cock. 
"Shit, feels like you're trying to push me out," Sly grumbled.
"S-sorry, it's been awhile," Noiz said.
"It's okay," Sly said. 
"You can just ram it in," Noiz said.
"Holy shit," Sly whispered. He paused for a moment. His hands dropped to Noiz's
hips and he adjusted himself slightly, causing Noiz to whine loudly. "Okay, I'm
gonna put it in." Sly shoved in all the way without an ounce of hesitation.
Noiz's mouth gaped open around a silent cry. His passage twitched and spasmed
around Sly's cock. He drew in a trembling breath. Tears pricked the corners of
his eyes. He could feel Sly's fingertips digging into his hips with bruising
force.
"Fuck, Noiz, are you okay?" Sly whispered as he resisted the urge to move.
"F-fine," Noiz said around a short sob.
"Are you sur--?"
"Move, please," Noiz gasped. "Please."
Sly pulled out and thrust back in without preamble. Noiz whined loudly and bit
his lower lip hard enough to taste blood. Sly grunted quietly as he began to
fuck Noiz at an excruciating pace. Noiz whimpered as his cock slapped against
his abdomen. He could feel precome dripping onto his stomach. Every thrust sent
pleasure radiating through his body. His toes curled and he let out a long
moan. 
"Fuck, Noiz, you're so tight," Sly purred. "That's it. Push your ass back.
Yeah, like that. Fuck, you look good."
Noiz whined as Sly's dirty talk went straight to his cock. His back arched and
he pushed his ass back against Sly's hip with every thrust.
"Good boy," Sly said. "You look good getting fuck. I can't believe you can take
it all like this. Good boy."
Noiz whimpered and his head began to spin. Sly continued to hammer into him at
a pace that probably would have broken anyone without his pain tolerance. Sly
continued to praise him and his hands dug into Noiz's ass. Noiz's vision
blurred. Sly's words spun around his mind and began to distort. Every utterance
of 'good boy' sent a pang through his chest. His hands dug into the wood of the
drawer. His knees buckled. 
Good boy.
Noiz cried out as a very different voice bombarded his ears. His head rolled to
the side and he stared at the doorway. His vision shivered. A form began to
manifest in the doorway. Noiz gasped. A small boy appeared before his eyes; his
face was twisted in horror as his eyes met Noiz's. Noiz's heart ricocheted
against his chest. The sound of flesh against flesh filled his ears.
"Stop," he whispered. His head spun and his knees almost gave way.
Strong arms wrapped around his waist.
"Stop!" Noiz cried out.
"Noiz, Noiz, what's wrong?" 
Noiz's mind was pulled out of the past by the sound of Sly's voice saying his
name. The boy pulled out quickly and he held Noiz's trembling body against his
chest.
"Are you okay? What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" His tone was laced with panic as
he leaned over Noiz's shoulder. His soft hair brushed Noiz's cheek.
"I-I...it--I'm..." Noiz stumbled over the words as he tried to articulate his
thoughts.
"It's okay, don't worry, it's okay," Sly said as he gently pulled up Noiz's
pants. He tucked himself into his own and lifted Noiz into his arm. He
carefully carried the younger male to his bed and laid him on the mattress. He
crouched beside the bed and began stroking Noiz's hair. "Hey, it's okay. Just
breath. Was it too much for you?"
Noiz made a non-committal sound in the back of his throat. His eyes were
clenched shut as he tried to get his breathing under control. Sly continued to
murmur assurances as petted Noiz's hair. After a few minutes, Noiz had gotten
his breathing under control. He blinked his eyes open slowly and stared up at
Sly's face. Sly looked back at him. His face was creased with concern. 
"Noiz, who's Theo?"
***** Chapter 9 *****
Chapter Notes
     cw: mention of sexual assault, parental abuse, self harm
See the end of the chapter for more notes
It had started about a month after his mother had remarried. Noiz had been in
ninth grade, at least he would have been if he wasn't being homeschooled. Noiz
hadn't liked the man his mother had married, and not just because of his
general distrust of people. Something about the man's affect made Noiz feel
uneasy. The man's son, on the other hand, he found absolutely wonderful. Theo
was a bright, kind boy about three years Noiz's junior. No matter how many
times Noiz gave him the cold shoulder or actually locked his door in the boy's
face, Theo continued to follow him around and never stopped being nice to him.
Even when they were preparing dinner together, "as a surprise for our parents"
according to Theo, and Noiz had accidentally slit his palm open, Theo hadn't
freaked out about Noiz's lack of pain. The amount of blood seeping from his
hand made the boy grimace and worry over Noiz's well-being, but he never called
him a freak, even after Noiz's mother explained Noiz's condition to him.
Noiz's suspicion of his stepfather came to fruition one night when the man
crept into his room. He held Noiz down on the bed and told him he'd do this to
Theo if he didn't keep his mouth shut. Noiz had taken it all in stunned
silence. He also kept quiet, and thus his illicit sexual relationship with his
stepfather blossomed. The man had him perform degrading and disgusting acts,
even going so far as calling him 'daddy'. Noiz took it all. His warped
understanding of how human relations worked--use or be used--told him that this
was perfectly normal. All the same, a feeling of self-loathing had lodged in
the pit of his stomach. He had taken to trying to empty the feeling from his
body through cutting. His stepfather never mentioned the cuts even though he
saw them all.
It wasn't until Theo had come home early from school and walked in on his
father pinning Noiz to the dresser and thrusting in to him erratically that
Noiz had realized that what he was doing was 'wrong'. Theo's face had twisted
into a look of abject terror. Noiz had cried out for his stepfather to stop,
but he couldn't get him to until he whispered his stepbrother's name. His
stepfather had looked up and his eyes had fallen on Theo's face. He had
finished inside of Noiz. Noiz had bit down on his hand hard enough to taste
blood to keep from vomiting. Theo had run to his room and locked himself
inside.
The next day, Noiz's mother and stepfather had taken him to the ward. His
mother of course didn't know the extent to why he was being locked away. He
still didn't know what his step-father had told Theo about what the boy had
seen. Maybe he had said that Noiz had forced himself on him. Either way, Theo
hadn't come out to say goodbye, which Noiz couldn't entirely hold against him
because he probably hadn't known that Noiz wouldn't be coming back.
Noiz told all of this to Sly in a monotone as his eyes stung. Only a couple of
tears worked their slow way down his cheeks. Sly had listened in silence as he
rubbed slow circles into the back of Noiz's neck. Noiz let out a quiet sigh
when his tale came to a close. He tightened his arms around his knees. Sly
shifted on the mattress beside him. He remained quiet for some time. Noiz
wasn't sure if he was waiting for him to continue, but Noiz had nothing else to
say.
"I..." Sly began. His voice faltered. "I can't imagine what that must have been
like," he finally said in a quiet voice. "I can empathize, but I can't assume
to know how you feel."
"You sound like a textbook," Noiz said as he turned his head to look at Sly. A
small smile quirked his lips.
"I, um." Sly flushed. "That's what we're told to say if someone discloses
something to us. I really don't know what to say. I'm sorry."
"Don't worry," Noiz said with a shake of his head. "You don't have to say
anything."
"Have you told Mink?" Sly asked.
"No," Noiz scoffed.
"You should talk to him about this, Noiz," Sly said quietly. "He'll know what
to do. He actually knows what he's doing. I know he's helped Aoba a lot."
"Were you even listening?" Noiz snapped. He shoved himself to his knees and
kneeled in front of Sly. "I can't say anything or else my stepdad will do
something to Theo." Noiz's hands clenched into fists and he could feel the
pressure of his nails biting into his palms.
"He won't find out if you say something to Mink," Sly said in an attempt at a
reassuring voice. He raised his hands as well as if that could help diminish
Noiz's anger.
"You don't get it!" Noiz yelled at him.
"Noiz," Sly whispered, his eyes darting to the door. "You don't have to say
who, but you could bring up to Mink that someone hurt you like that. It'll
really help to get it all out with him."
"Fuck you." Noiz shoved Sly back onto the bed. He pinned him down by his
shoulders and loomed over him. "You don't get to decide what will and won't
help me. We aren't friends." Noiz spat the word at his roommate. "We're just
fuck-buddies. Don't get cocky." 
"Noiz." Anger seeped into his tone. His eyes flashed a bright yellow.
Suddenly the door swung open. Trip and Virus stood in the doorway. They had on
identical smirks as they leaned against opposite sides of the doorframe and
regarded the roommates.
"Sly, Noiz," Virus said as he reached up and adjusted his glasses, "it's lights
out."
"You two fighting or fucking?" Trip asked blandly. "It's a bit hard to tell."
"Fucking, of course," Sly said with a bright smile. All of the anger had
vanished from his face. He sat up with Noiz and pushed the smaller boy out of
his lap onto the mattress. "You guys are cock-blocking."
"I'll cry about that later," Virus said dryly. "For now go to bed. In separate
beds."
"You going to tell Mink?" Sly asked as he got out of bed.
"Not if this is the last time you two do it," Trip said with a shrug. 
"He gave you lube to fuck yourself with, Sly," Virus said as he stepped back
from the doorframe. "Not your underage roommate."
Noiz flinched. His shoulders hunched and he stared down at the blanket that was
rumpled beneath his knees.
"Hey, hey," Sly said quickly. "Let's not go there, alright?" He let out a light
chuckle. "We're both consenting, relative adults. It's no big."
"Go to bed, Sly," Virus said.
"Night night." Trip shut the door and the lock slid into place.
"You okay?" Sly asked slowly.
Noiz could feel his eyes on him. He ignored him and climbed on the covers. He
curled up on his side with his back to Sly and closed himself.
"If you don't want to be friends, I get that," Sly said quietly, "but if you
want to talk about anything, I'll listen. And I won't say anything. I can keep
a secret even from Aoba."
There was a long pause. 
"Well, goodnight."
===============================================================================
Noiz and Sly didn't talk for the rest of the week. Noiz was assisted in
avoiding him when Aoba returned. Just as Sly had said, he could keep a secret
from Aoba; the blue-haired host had no idea what his alter had learned from
Noiz. Nor did he know that Noiz and Sly had had sex. Noiz always blushed
vibrantly at this thought and would hurriedly distance himself from Aoba. 
It was clear to everyone in the ward that Noiz and Sly had been avoiding each
other until Aoba had returned, and then that Noiz was keeping away from him
too. It was also clear to Mink at least that Noiz was "in distress". The doctor
called him into his office on Friday, the day after Aoba had returned to
fronting. He had informed Noiz that he was worried about the patient and
proceeded to give a few examples for why this was the case. Apparently Noiz was
considerably more out of it than usual and even less sociable, which meant for
him about not at all. Noiz had barely registered the doctor's words since he
was in the process of doing the former. 
"Noiz," Mink said. When he failed to get a response, he got out of his chair
and went to the couch. He sat down beside Noiz and laid a hand on Noiz's knee.
Noiz lashed out. He struck the doctor's hand off of him with considerable
force. His eyes widened and he stared up at the man. Mink was frowning
slightly. He withdrew his hand.
"I'm sorry," Noiz whispered.
"Don't worry about it. I shouldn't have touched without permission. Noiz," Mink
said slowly. He always spoke slowly and calmly. Even when Koujaku was screaming
at him, he was completely calm. "It's obvious that you are distressed, and that
this started a few days ago. Do you know of a reason for this being the case?"
"No," Noiz said with a shake of his head.
"Trip and Virus reported that you and Sly got in a fight a few nights ago,"
Mink said. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Noiz stared down at the floor. His heart clenched in his chest as anxiety
threatened to choke him. They had said something? Didn't they say they weren't
going to report it? What exactly had they said? If he said something that
didn't align with their report, Mink would know they had been lying, and then
they would all be in trouble.
"I, um," Noiz began in a quaking voice.
"Noiz, take a deep breath. You aren't in trouble."
Noiz inhaled deeply and released a heavy sigh.
"Good. Now do that a few more times...Very good," Mink said when Noiz had
gotten his breathing under control. "Now just tell me what happened. No one is
going to get into trouble. Don't worry."
"I just got mad at him," Noiz said. His voice trembled a touch, but not nearly
as badly as when he had first tried to talk. Mink's presence as well as his
breathing exercise calmed him considerably. "He was telling me I should do
something that I didn't want to do."
"And what was that?" Mink asked.
"He told me to talk to you," Noiz said achingly slowly. Why was his mouth
moving of its own accord? Hadn't he decided not to tell Mink anything?
"And you didn't want to talk to me?" Mink asked.
Noiz shook his head.
"Why not?" Mink didn't sound offended or put off. Noiz probably wasn't the
first patient to be unforthcoming with him.
"I don't wanna talk about some things," Noiz said.
"That's normal," Mink said, "but, and I don't want to sound cliche with this,
it will help if you talk about it."
"Probably," Noiz mumbled.
Mink smiled.
"Would you like to?"
"Can I take some more time?" Noiz asked. He looked up at the doctor with
pleading green eyes.
"Of course. This entire process can go as quickly or as slowly as you like.
Take as much time as you need."
"Thanks, Mink. Um, Dr. Mink."
"You're welcome, Noiz," Mink said with a rueful smile. "Now, there's something
I've wanted to discuss with you and this seems like a good time. I've been
considering putting you on an anti-depressant. Have you taken one before?"
Noiz and Mink spent the next half-hour discussing possible medications for
Noiz. Noiz had never taken medication of any sort before, so he was a bit
nervous, but Mink explained all the side effects to him. He said that Noiz
would be given the meds after dinner every night. Most of the patients in the
ward were on meds, so he didn't need to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed. 
When they had finally settled on a drug and dose, Mink escorted Noiz out of the
office. They walked together to the nurses' station to give them the
prescription. Mink chatted amicably, but Noiz didn't pay much attention. When a
cheerful voice that Noiz didn't recognize greeted Mink, he looked up. A slender
person with a bob of black hair stood by the nurses's station. They were
dressed in tight black pants, a white t-shirt with a dark undershirt underneath
it, and a white lab coat. They had on a friendly smile and their dark eyes
glimmered with the expression. Noiz frowned. Something about their face was
vaguely familiar.
"Hi," the person said.
"Hello?" Mink said. A hint of a question entered his voice; he clearly didn't
recognize the person.
"This is Sei," the nurse on duty said as he rose and took the prescription from
Mink. "He's the director's new intern."
"Ah, of course," Mink said. "Nice to meet you, Sei." He held out the hand and
the intern took it.
"Likewise," Sei said. "I just came to drop off some paperwork, but I'm glad I
ran into you."
"Let me know if you need help getting acquainted with anything."
"Thanks," Sei said. He waved as he walked away down the hallway. The nurse on
duty by the gate buzzed him out.
"We're all set here, Noiz," Mink said.
"Thanks," Noiz said. He turned away from the nurse's station. His eyes fell on
his roommate.
Aoba was standing in the doorway of the common room. His face was slack and his
eyes were wide. Koujaku, who had gone a few paces into the room without him,
stopped and turned around. Noiz saw his mouth move as he spoke Aoba's name. His
hand reached out and brushed the boy's arm. Aoba's elbow shot back and collided
with his face. Blood spurted from Kojaku's nose. Noiz gasped. 
Aoba's face contorted in anger. His eyes flashed yellow and suddenly it was
very apparent who was in charge now. Sly set off down the hallway toward Mink.
"Mink," he growled loudly.
The doctor cocked his head to the side in confusion. He stepped forward and
opened his mouth to say something. The wardens were also moving sluggishly into
action. Koujaku, driven by the rage that Sly's attack had unleashed, surged
forward. He tackled the blue-haired boy and slammed him to the ground. 
"Get off of me, you filthy fucking animal," Sly screamed as he writhed
underneath Koujaku.
The dark-haired boy grabbed his hair. He yanked the smaller male's head back
and slammed his face into the floor. Two wardens converged on them. They
grabbed Koujaku and tried to drag him off of Sly, who was still yelling and
screaming.
"Koujaku, that's enough!" Mink yelled.
Noiz jumped; he had never heard the man raise his voice. They had drawn quite a
crowd by now. Clear and Mizuki looked on with the same horror that Noiz knew
contorted his face. Mink moved forward. He grabbed Koujaku's and broke his grip
on Sly's hair instantly. The wardens managed to drag Koujaku away from the
other patient. He was snarling and his eyes flashed red as blood coursed from
his nose.
Sly scrambled to his feet and lunged at Mink. He grabbed the front of the man's
shirt and dragged him forward.
"Who the fuck was that?" he snarled. He spoke quietly, despite the anger that
coated his words. Noiz doubted that anyone other than him and Mink could hear
Sly.
"Sly, calm down. What is going on? What happened to Aoba?" Mink asked. He
grabbed the boy's wrists and dislodged his grip easily.
"Let me go!" Sly yelled as he thrashed in Mink's hold.
"Sly," Mink said in a steely voice. "What happened to Aoba?"
"Shut the fuck up about Aoba," Sly snarled. "You don't care about him; I do.
I'm the only one who cares." His face darkened and his eyes flashed. "I'll
protect Aoba."
"Sly," Noiz said quietly. He moved up to the grappling pair. "It's okay. Aoba's
fine."
Sly twisted around to stare at him. Noiz bit his lip, but he met Sly's gaze
steadily. He heard Mink order one of the nurses to get a sedative, but Sly
didn't seem to register his words. He continued to skewer Noiz with his gaze.
"Aoba's...fine," he repeated slowly.
Noiz nodded. A nurse appeared behind Sly and slipped a needle into his neck.
The boy gasped quietly. He went slack and his eyes fluttered shut. Mink scooped
him up into his arms and carried him to the gate of the ward. He was buzzed
out. Noiz watched as the gate swung shut behind him. 
Chapter End Notes
     not sure how i feel about this chapter. the plot twist came a little
     sooner than i had planned but i didn't know where else to go with it
***** Chapter 10 *****
Chapter Notes
     cw: sexual assault, suicide
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Noiz stood by the ward's gate for an hour, waiting for Mink to come back. The
nurses tried to get him to go to the common room, but he refused. Mizuki and
Clear asked him to play cards with them instead of waiting, but Noiz only shook
his head. His fingers tightened in the wiring of the gate. The nurse on duty
watched him hesitantly the whole time, but he didn't try to force Noiz to
leave. He technically wasn't doing anything he shouldn't. About a half-hour
after the incident, Koujaku was allowed out of his room. He had calmed down
considerably, but he looked a touch annoyed, most likely due to the throbbing
pain in his bandaged nose. He went to the gate when he saw Noiz standing there.
"What are you doing?" he asked. 
"Mink took Sly away," Noiz mumbled under his breath. 
"Noiz, do you know what set him off?" Koujaku asked. "One second he was Aoba
and the next he was Sly and then...I don't really remember the rest of it."
Koujaku rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.
"There was an intern here," Noiz said quietly. "Sei. Sly wanted to know what he
was doing here. He kept yelling at Mink. Mink asked about Aoba and then Sly
flipped out and said he was the only one who cared about Aoba and that he would
protect him. I told him Aoba was fine and that distracted him enough for a
nurse to sedate him. Then Mink took him out there." He looked up and gazed down
the corridor beyond the gate. 
"Is he coming back?" Koujaku asked.
"I don't know and neither do the nurses."
Koujaku nodded. He didn't have Noiz's diligent patience when it came to waiting
so he wandered off to the common room to distract himself. Noiz continued to
stand by the gate. He had never seen Sly so upset before. He had looked half-
mad with anger. Noiz shivered at the thought. The alter had been so furious
that he had even managed to jostle Mink out of his typical calm.
The sound of footsteps on the other side of the gate made Noiz look up hastily.
Mink was walking down the corridor. His hands were in his pockets. He was
frowning as he stared at the floor.
"Mink!" Noiz gripped the gate.
Mink looked up. He sighed quietly.
"Noiz, what are you doing?" he admonished. When he reached the gate, the nurse
buzzed him in. 
Noiz stepped back and the doctor moved inside. He shut the gate behind him.
"I was waiting for you to come back," Noiz said. "Where's Sly?"
"I got him situated in one of the hospital rooms. He'll have to stay over
night, but he'll be back tomorrow."
"Okay," Noiz said with a small sigh.
===============================================================================
Sly wasn't allowed to come back to the ward the next day. Apparently he had
bitten one of his nurses and kicked another in the face. Mink had pulled Noiz,
Koujaku, Clear, and Mizuki aside after they had their vitals checked to tell
them this. Mizuki had snickered quietly and Clear had elbowed him.
"What? Sly biting someone is a pretty funny image," Mizuki said.
Even Koujaku was smirking slightly at the thought. Noiz on the other hand had
thought of Sly biting in a very different context and had flushed brightly. He
skulked away from the group and sat in one of the chairs by the window. 
Saturday was incredibly boring without Sly around. Even if Aoba had been
around, Noiz would have been entertained because he would have been able to
witness Koujaku fluttering around Aoba and trying to keep his gay from showing.
As it was, he spent most of the day sulking by the window. Koujaku and Mizuki
invited him to workout with them, but he ignored them. Later in the afternoon
Mizuki and Clear tried multiple times to get him to play cards with them, but
he refused. When it was his turn for his individual with Mink, he dragged
himself into the room and plopped down on the couch.
Mink tried to coax conversation out of him, but Noiz only shrugged or answered
with a short 'yes' or 'no'. Mink finally asked him if he missed Sly and Aoba.
Noiz had blushed and shrugged. He folded his arms defensively over his chest.
Mink promised him they'd be back tomorrow. Mink had ended the session twenty
minutes later, despite not winning much response from Noiz.
The next day was Sunday and the visiting day. Noiz sulked through all of group.
Apparently Sly wasn't going to be discharged back into the ward until the
afternoon. He just had to get through lunch and then he would be able to see
him and ask about what had happened yesterday. However, after lunch, Noiz was
called to the nurse's station. Mink was standing there, talking to a tall man
in a tweed suit. The man had on a crimson vest beneath the jacket. A folded
handkerchief peeked out of his breast pocket. Noiz froze. A tremor wracked his
body as he stared at the man.
"Noiz," Mink said. He waved the patient over.
Noiz approached hesitantly. He reached Mink's side and hedged slightly behind
the doctor. Mink frowned as he stared down at him. 
"Your stepfather came to visit," Mink said. "He's going to take you upstairs to
one of the family rooms."
"Where?" Noiz asked quietly.
"We have rooms upstairs that families can use to visit if they'd like," Mink
explained. "Is that okay?" His eyebrows furrowed slightly.
"Yes," Noiz said quickly. His eyes flickered to his stepfather.
The man's face was schooled to small smile as he stared down at Noiz, but his
dark eyes bore holes into him. Noiz recognized that steely gaze and he bowed
his head. He would keep his mouth shut, even in here.
"I'll have one of our nurses take you upstairs, Director Toue," Mink said.
"Thank you," Toue said. 
"Follow me."
Noiz looked up at the sound of Trip's voice. The blond nurse smiled when their
gazes met. Noiz looked away hurriedly. He trailed after the two other men as
Trip took them to the stairwell at the end of one of the corridors. Noiz hadn't
even been aware this was here. Trip led them upstairs to a hallway that was
lined with doors. He brought them to one and slid the door open.
"I'll be just outside," he said.
Toue led the way inside. The room was furnished with a couch, a few armchairs,
a dinning table, and several chairs. Toue went to the couch. He sat down on it
with a heavy sigh. Noiz swallowed as he stepped inside. Trip slid the door shut
behind him.
"How are you doing, Noiz?" Toue asked as he regarded his stepson with dark
eyes.
"Fine, sir," Noiz said quietly.
Toue cocked his finger and Noiz immediately crossed the room. He stopped a few
inches from Toue and stared down at the floor.
"What did you tell Theo?" he asked suddenly.
"We're not going to talk about that," Toue said silkily. "I want to hear about
how you're doing. Are you settling in well?"
"Yes, sir," Noiz said quietly. His fingers twined together and he twisted them
nervously.
"Are you anxious, Noiz?" Toue asked. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on
his knees. He smirked. "Is there something you want to do?"
"Yes, sir," Noiz said quietly. These responses had been engrained into him to
the point that they were habitual. He lowered himself onto his knees in front
of Toue and licked his lips as he gazed as the man's crotch. This too had
become second-nature to him.
"Good boy." Toue leaned back against the couch.
Noiz crawled forward. He rested his arms on Toue's thighs and slowly undid the
zipper. He pulled Toue's length out of his pants. He bit his lip and glanced up
at Toue.
"Be a good boy now, Noiz," Toue said.
Noiz nodded and set to work.
===============================================================================
 "I'm back!" Sly declared dramatically as he sauntered into the common room.
"Sly!" Clear said. He waved eagerly at the blue-haired patient. He, Mizuki, and
Koujaku were sitting around a table in the back of the common room, playing
cards.
"It's you." Koujaku sneered. He wasn't wearing the bandage on his nose anymore,
which revealed the soft purple bruising on his face.
"How's your face?" Sly asked with a laugh.
"Hurts like a bitch," Koujaku said, "bitch."
Sly laughed. He glanced around the room and frowned.
"Where's Noiz?" he asked.
"He got a visitor," Mizuki explained. "Four threes," he said as he played his
hand.
"BS!" Clear cried.
"Read 'em and weep," Mizuki said with a grin as he flipped his cards to reveal
he had been telling the truth.
Clear pouted and took the discard pile, which was now his hand. 
"Who's visiting him?" Sly asked.
"His stepfather," Koujaku said. "I saw them with Mink. Apparently his
stepfather's the director of the hospital."
"No way," Mizuki said. "That weird dude with the monocle?"
"Yeah," Koujaku said with a laugh. 
"Are you sure?" Sly yelled as he grabbed the front of Koujaku's shirt. 
Koujaku shouted in an annoyance as Sly dragged him to his feet.
"Yeah, I'm fucking sure. I've seen the director bef--"
"No! Not that! That it was Noiz's stepdad," Sly yelled.
The commotion had drawn a warden over to them. Luckily it was just Virus. 
"Sly, quit harassing Koujaku. You've only been back here for three minutes,"
the nurse said with a shake of his head.
"Did Noiz's stepdad really come to visit him?" Sly demanded. He released
Koujaku and rounded on Virus.
"Yes," Virus said with a frown. "Sly, what's the matter?"
Sly growled and stormed out of the common room. 
"Where'd they go?" he yelled to no one in particular, but Virus had followed
him out in the hallway.
"They went upstairs, Sly," he said. "Now stop making a scene."
Sly took off down the corridor. He raced toward the stairwell at the end of the
hall. When he reached the door, he yanked on the handle desperately even though
he knew it wouldn't open without a nurse's swipe card. His heart felt like it
was being crushed inside his chest. He only ever felt this level of sheer
terror when Aoba was in trouble. His hands were trembling as he continued to
pull on the door handle.
"Sly, what's the matter?" Virus said earnestly. All playfulness had dropped
from his tone.
"We have to get Noiz away from him," Sly said. 
"Sly, explain what's going on," Virus said as he grabbed his arm.
"Noiz's stepfather makes him do stuff, Virus," Sly whispered. He stopped his
fruitless attempts to open the door and stared up at Virus. "That kind of
stuff." He hoped the emphasis would make it clear what he was implying. 
It did. Virus quickly took out his ID card and swiped it through the door's
lock, which clicked open. Sly pulled the door open, but Virus shoved past him. 
"Stay here," he said as he slammed the door shut behind him. 
Sly yelled and pounded on the door.
"Son of a bitch, let me in!" he shouted.
"Sly, cut that out," Virus scolded him through the door. 
Sly snarled, but he held his tongue. He stepped back from the door and leaned
against the far wall. He was still trembling. He slid down to the floor and
rested his head on his knees.
===============================================================================
 "Yes, Noiz, just like that," Toue said through clenched teeth. His fist
tightened in Noiz's hair.
Noiz moaned quietly around Toue's length. He lapped desperately at it with his
tongue. He had to make the man finish quickly. He didn't know how much time he
had until Trip came back in. 
"Good boy," Toue murmured. He grabbed Noiz's head and began thrusting inside of
his mouth.
Noiz opened his throat as best he could. He shut his eyes. He tried to imagine
he was anywhere but the visitor's room getting face-fucked by his stepfather.
His mind took him to the room he shared with Sly. He imagined that it was the
alter's firm hands on his skull; the alter's cock he was choking on; the
alter's heavy breathing. He whimpered quietly and his eyes prickled with tears.
Suddenly the sound of the door opening made his eyes snap open. He whined
loudly and looked over at the door out of the corner of his eye. Virus and Trip
stood in the doorway. They folded their arms simultaneously and their faces
shared the same steely frown.
"Time's up, Toue," Trip said in dark voice. 
"What the hell are you doing?" Toue hissed. 
"Let go of the underaged patient, please," Virus said. The last word was spoken
in a voice that could cut diamond.
Toue growled. He shoved Noiz off him. The boy yelped as he fell on his elbow on
the floor. He coughed and wiped his mouth on his sleeve.
"Did you say something?" Toue snarled at him.
Noiz shook his head quickly.
"That's enough. Let's go," Trip growled. He marched across the room and grabbed
Toue's arm.
Toue shook off Trip's grip quickly and tucked himself back into his pants. He
stood up and walked out of the room himself. Trip followed him out. Virus
remained in the doorway watching Noiz.
"How did you...?" Noiz asked.
"Sly," Virus said simply.
Sly. The name reverberated inside his skull. Bile rose in the back of his
throat. That bastard. He had promised; he had promised. He said that he would
keep it a secret and he had blabbed. Now Theo was in danger. Noiz shoved
himself to his feet.
"Noiz, don't be angry with him. He did the right thing," Virus said.
Noiz ignored him and darted out of the room. Virus tried to grab his arm, but
he dodged him. He sped down the corridor and ducked into the stairwell. His
heavy footsteps echoed against the walls as he descended the stairs. He shoved
through door and stumbled to a halt.
Sly looked around. His sharp yellow eyes had been on Trip and Toue as Trip
escorted the man down the corridor. His gaze softened as he stared up at Noiz.
Noiz panted shallowly as he stared down at Sly.
"Noiz," Sly said quietly. He made to rise, Noiz lunged forward.
He slammed his fist into Sly's face. The alter grunted in pain. Noiz yanked his
arm back again but a firm hand wrapped around his bicep.
"Stop, Noiz," Virus snapped as he hauled the patient away from Sly.
Sly fell on his side and cradled his face in his hands. He let out a cry of
pain. The sound made Trip and Toue look back. Mink was also summoned from his
office a few doors down by the pained wailing.
"What's going on?" he demanded as he marched over to Virus.
"Let me go," Noiz snarled as he writhed in Virus's grip.
"It's complicated," Virus said with a small sigh, "but Noiz punched Sly." He
took little to no effort for him to keep Noiz restrained with a single hand.
For such a wiry man he was surprisingly strong.
"Noiz, that's enough," Mink said as Noiz continued to yell at Virus.
"Fuck off," Noiz snarled. "I'm gonna fucking kill him. He ruined everything."
"Noiz, did you seriously think I was going to let you be up there alone with
that pervert?" Sly yelled at him. He dropped his hands to the floor and pushed
himself onto his knees.
"Fuck you. It's none of your business."
"Noiz, that's enough," Mink repeated. He caught Noiz's arm; Virus released him
and Mink tugged him to his side. "Take Sly to the nurses' station," he told
Virus. "Then I want to know everything that happened."
"Let me go." Noiz pushed against Mink's forearm as the doctor effortless took
him to his office. 
"Noiz, stop struggling. You're going to hurt yourself," Mink said as he walked
into his office. He shut the door behind him.
"Good," Noiz spat.
Mink pushed Noiz down onto the couch and released him. Noiz tried to stand
up, but Mink rested a hand on his shoulder and easily kept him pinned to the
couch.
"Noiz, tell me what happened," Mink said.
"Fuck you," Noiz yelled. "I'm not telling you shit!"
The door opened and Virus and Trip walked in. Trip closed the door behind
them. 
"Sly's being attended to," Virus said.
"I had security remove Toue from the hospital," Trip reported as well.
"Why? What happened?"
Noiz shook his head furiously as he stared at the look-alike nurses.
"Toue forced Noiz to perform fellatio on him," Trip said in an unwavering
voice. His eyes were rooted on Mink.
"Apparently this is not new," Virus added.
Mink turned slowly and stared down at Noiz. He carefully removed his hand from
Noiz's shoulder and took a step back. Noiz's mind spun. It felt like the entire
world was crashing down around him. He whimpered quietly as violent tremors
ripped through his body. His breathing came in short, faltering gasps. He
grunted and suddenly leaned forward. He wretched and the contents of his
stomach spewed all over Mink's pants and shoes.
"S-sorry," he whispered quietly.
"Noiz, you have nothing to apologize for," Mink murmured.
Noiz stared up at him. Suddenly it was like a dam had been ripped down. Tears
flooded his cheeks and he let out a horrible sob. He trembled and cried loudly.
He just sat there and wailed as Virus, Trip, and Mink all looked on. He dropped
his face against Mink's hip. His sobs were muffled slightly against the man's
thigh. Mink gently patted his back and murmured reassurances. Eventually, Noiz
completely exhausted himself. His eyelids fluttered. Mink helped him lie down
on the couch and he fell asleep.
===============================================================================
He woke in his bed in his room. His mouth tasted and felt like sandpaper. He
sat up slowly and gazed around. He was alone. He groaned quietly and his throat
twitched. Between the vomiting and the deep throating, even he was feeling a
dull ache. He swore quietly as his mind was filled with memories from the
afternoon. He whimpered and drew his knees to his chest. Everyone knew;
everyone knew his deepest, ugliest secret and now he couldn't keep Theo safe
from Toue. His silence and submission had been the only thing keeping Theo
safe. He was so fucking stupid. How could he have opened up to Sly? How could
he have betrayed Theo like that?
He had made a horrible mistake and now Theo was going to pay. As his mind's eye
was assaulted with images of his stepfather and Theo together, he crawled to
the edge of the bed. He slid slowly onto the floor. He couldn't protect Theo
anymore. He was useless. He had been used up completely and he served no
purpose now. He slipped his arms out of his shirt and settled it around his
neck. He leaned back against the bed post and slipped the neck of the shirt
over the post. Useless. He was completely useless now. His only purpose had
been to protect Theo and he couldn't do that now. He had fucked up and now Theo
was in trouble. 
Noiz strained against his shirt. The fabric dug in his neck. He choked quietly.
He pressed his hand against his mouth and bit down hard on the flesh. He could
taste blood as he continued to writhe against the pressure on his neck. The
corners of his vision darkened. He groaned and pushed hard until the darkness
completely blanketed his vision.
===============================================================================
Aoba had slipped back into control when Sly had been taken to the nurses'
station. He had asked around for an explanation as to why he had a bloody nose,
but no one told him anything except that Noiz was responsible for it. He had
seen Mink carry a sleeping Noiz into their room, but the nurse had told him not
to bother the other patient. That had been several hours ago. Mink, Trip, and
Virus had been in Mink's office for most of that time. Koujaku, Mizuki, and
Clear filled in Aoba as best they could, but no one really had a clue what was
going on, just that Sly had freaked when he heard that Noiz was with his
stepfather, Toue had been escorted out by security, and Noiz had punched Sly.
Aoba sighed as he walked down the corridor to his room. He opened the door and
stepped inside. He glanced over to Noiz's bed to find it empty. His eyes
drifted to the foot. He gasped in horror when his eyes fell on Noiz. He was
slumped against the bed post. His face was pale, his lips puffy. Blood trickled
out of the corner of his mouth. The back of his right hand had a horrible bite
mark on it. His shirt was knotted around his neck.
"Noiz!" Aoba ran to his side and quickly disentangled the shirt from Noiz's
neck and the bed post.
Noiz slid to the floor. Aoba caught him and lay him down gently.
"Oh God, oh God. Sly! Sly! What do I do?" Aoba yelled. He clenched his eyes
shut and pressed his fists against his temples. "Sly!"
Aoba, calm down. I got this, Sly's voice echoed inside his head.
"Please," Aoba begged.
It's okay. Just let go. I can handle it.
Aoba 'fell' back inside his mind and Sly slipped into control. He quickly
brought his face to Noiz's mouth. He felt faint breathing tickle his cheek. He
checked the boy's pulse and found it incredibly shallow. He swore quietly. He
laced his fingers together and pressed the heels of his hand against Noiz's
chest. He did this repeatedly at an even rate. His heart was pounding and he
clenched his eyes shut to keep from looking at Noiz's face. He needed to call
for help, but Noiz was such a private person and already hated him for telling
Virus about his stepfather. Except, if he didn't do anything, Noiz would
die. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth--
Noiz gasped suddenly. He jerked upright. Sly caught him in his arms and held
him to his chest as Noiz flailed desperately in confusion. 
"Noiz, Noiz, it's okay. Calm down," Sly said. His voice broke around the last
word. He sucked in a deep breath. Relief washed over him. He tried not to cry
as he held on tightly to his roommate.
"What did you do?" Noiz snarled. He glared up at Sly, who stared down at him in
surprise.
"I--"
"Why the fuck are you always interfering in my business?" Noiz said in a husky
voice.
"Noiz, I..." Sly loosened his grip on Noiz, but the boy didn't have the
strength to move away from him and instead simply slumped against his chest. 
"You ruined everything," Noiz whispered, "and now you had to come and fucking
save me? What's your problem?"
"My problem...I care about you, jackass!" Sly yelled at him, suddenly losing
his composure. He probably shouldn't be screaming at someone who had just tried
to hang himself off a bed post and was emotionally fragile to say the least,
but he couldn't bear the thought that Noiz was just sitting there thinking that
he honestly didn't care. "I care about you and so does everyone in the ward.
What the fuck were you thinking trying to choke yourself out with your fucking
shirt?"
"Fuck you," Noiz whispered quietly. "You don't care."
"Yes, I do. I--"
"Sly, how could you care? You don't even exist."
Chapter End Notes
     idk how legal stuff with this sort of thing works so i'm really just
     bumbling along in that regard.
     hope everyone enjoyed in so far as you can enjoy these babies
     suffering uvu
     also i'm so glad everyone loves sly. he's my favorite and i love
     writing him!
***** Chapter 11 *****
Chapter Notes
     cw: suicide mention
     thank you all for the amazing comments on that last chapter. sorry
     not sorry about that epic feels trip lmao but don't worry this is an
     eventually happy fic so everything will sort out
     (edited)
Two Weeks Later
Noiz and Sly had been found by a warden after Sly had started screaming for
help. Mink was called in. Noiz had kicked and cried out weakly as he was forced
into a wheelchair and removed from the ward. He hadn't bothered looking back at
Sly as he was wheeled away. If he had, he would have seen the look of grief and
horror that twisted the alter's face.
Noiz was admitted into the main hospital, much like Sly had been after his
episode. He had been placed under suicide watch. This entailed being handcuffed
to his bed unless he went to the bathroom, to where he was escorted by a nurse.
The hospital had a psychiatrist come see him the day after he was admitted, but
Noiz refused to speak to anyone. Eventually, Mink was brought in and Noiz would
at least answer his probing questions with a nod or a small word.
He learned from Mink that Toue had been taken in by the police after he was
removed from hospital grounds. When Theo had heard about his father's being in
police custody, he had gone to the police station and confessed to having seen
his father violating his stepbrother. Between his testimony as well as the
report filed by Trip and Virus, Toue was arrested with a bail posted at twenty-
thousand dollars. Noiz had refused to tell Mink anything аbout what had
happened between him and Toue. Mink had informed him that his testimony would
not be necessary to charge Toue since there were three eyewitnesses. Mink
hadn't been able to question Sly on his knowledge of Toue's abuse. The alter
had yet to emerge since the night Noiz had been taken out of the ward.
Noiz's mother had of course found out about everything that had happened. The
hospital had been obligated to report the incident to her. Apparently, though,
Noiz wasn't allowed to have visitors while under watch. He was incredibly
grateful for this. He couldn't bear the thought of seeing her. Mink told him
that she had been trying to get in to see him, but the hospital was very strict
about no visitors for patients on suicide watch. On top of that, Noiz knew,
though Mink didn't say, that she was under investigation for negligence with
regards to her care of Noiz.
As the days turned into a week, Noiz eventually and slowly opened up to Mink
about his past with his stepfather. The doctor came to see him every day, twice
a day. He had joked that Noiz would get tired of seeing him and Noiz had
allowed a small smile. In bits and pieces he opened up about the abuse, which
had started four years ago. Mink asked, of course, what had prevented him from
saying something. He didn't ask with any amount of judgement. He had dealt with
enough patients who had withheld information about abuse to know that it was a
common occurrence among abuse victims. Noiz had told him about how Toue had
threatened to do the same to Theo if Noiz said anything. This admittance had
given Mink insight into why Noiz had attempted suicide without Noiz needing to
say anything on the subject. 
Mink had informed the patient that Theo was at no risk of seeing his father.
Even if Toue made bail, which he had yet to do, he would not be allowed to go
home to Theo. This had relieved Noiz greatly, and had been one of the things
that helped motivate him to open up to Mink. That, and the desperate need to
get all of it off his chest. Mink had listened to everything he said without a
trace of judgement or even pity. Noiz hated pity; he hated the way people
looked down on him under the pretense of sympathy. That was all pity was at the
end of the day.
When the second week of Noiz's suicide watch had come to a close, Mink had
declared him stable enough to return to the ward. Noiz had been hesitant at
first. He was terrified to face Sly, or even Aoba for that matter. He vaguely
remembered the events following when he had regained consciousness in Sly's
arms. He had said something truly awful to the alter and the guilt of it gnawed
at his chest. He couldn't bear the thought of facing Sly; he would have to
apologize when he did and he hated the thought.
Noiz did not, however, have to worry about seeing the alter. Sly had remained
in the recesses of Aoba's mind throughout the two weeks. When Noiz walked
through the ward's gate with Mink, his eyes had fallen on Aoba, not his alter.
Aoba, Koujaku, Mizuki, and Clear had all been told that Noiz would be returning
that day. They had waited with varying levels of impatience by the nurses'
station for his return. Aoba was practically vibrating with worry by the time
Noiz finally returned.
"Don't overwhelm him," Virus, who was on duty at the nurses' station, told the
waiting patients.
They had respected this in the form of Mizuki, Clear, and Koujaku hanging back
as Aoba approached his roommate. Noiz, who had finally been allowed to change
into his own clothes as opposed to the hospital gowns he had worn for two
weeks, stuffed his hands into the pockets of his pants. He stared down at the
floor as Aoba approached.
"Hi," the blue-haired patient said, "I'm happy to see you."
Noiz only shrugged. He followed Mink to the nurses' station. Aoba hovered
behind him with an anxious frown. Mink took the clipboard that Virus offered
him and signed Noiz's readmittance paperwork. Mizuki approached Noiz as Mink
looked over the paperwork. 
"How are you doing, Noiz?" he asked.
The patients knew about Noiz's suicide attempt, but word of Toue's abuse and
his eventual arrest hadn't reached them yet. The hospital was keeping it under
wraps, which wasn't surprising. Their director had just been arrested for
sexually exploiting his seventeen-year-old stepson while he was under hospital
care. That wasn't a headline they wanted to see pop up anytime soon. Noiz was
grateful for this. The patients could watch the news in the evenings and he
didn't need his friends finding out what had happened to him at all, but
definitely not that way.
"Fine," Noiz said quietly. He glanced over at Aoba, who was gnawing on his
lip. 
Koujaku stepped up beside Aoba and placed a comforting hand on his arm.
According to Mink, Aoba had initially been the one to find Noiz. Noiz wasn't
sure how Sly had slipped into the mix in that case, but he had been the
personality Noiz had woken up to. He hoped Aoba didn't feel guilty in any way
for what had happened. Noiz's choices had been his own and he'd probably be
dead if Aoba hadn't found him initially, regardless of what had happened
afterward.
"Dinner is starting soon," Mink said as he returned the clipboard to Virus.
"Would you like to eat? You can also go to your room and rest."
"I'm hungry," Noiz said with a shake of his head.
Mink smiled kindly. He bid the patients a good evening before heading to his
office. Clear declared that they should all go eat. His voice was slightly more
high-pitch than usual as evidence of his anxiety. Noiz nodded and shuffled
after the masked patient. Mizuki offered to bring him food and he nodded. He
went to the one of the tables and waited for the other patients to arrive with
food. The kitchen hadn't technically opened, but those on duty still gave the
early patients food. 
"Here you go," Mizuki said as he plunked Noiz's tray of food down in front of
him.
"Thanks," Noiz said. He lifted his fork stabbed unenthusiastically at his
mashed potatoes.
Mizuki engaged the other patients in conversations. It was stilted and awkward
and Noiz knew they were only engaging in the small talk so that he wouldn't
feel uncomfortable or like he was on the spot. Aoba didn't join in much.
Koujaku tried to get him to chat a bit, but he mostly shrugged and gave a
hollow laugh here and there. After several minutes, Clear finally worked up the
courage to engage Noiz in conversation. His anxiety had faded from his voice,
so he didn't speak in an octave reserved for dogs.
"How was the food where you were Noiz?" he asked. He ladled a spoonful of his
mashed potatoes onto Noiz's tray.
Noiz cracked a small smile. After his initial lack of enthusiasm where eating
was concerned, he had decimated his potatoes. Clear had picked up on his
obvious enjoyment of the food. 
"Thanks," he mumbled quietly as he took a bite of Clear's potatoes.
"It was either terrible or the best food ever," Mizuki said with a laugh.
"Terrible," Noiz admitted. The word earned a laugh from the other patients.
"Do you wanna play ping pong after dinner?" Clear asked excitedly.
"Sure." Noiz shrugged. He didn't much care what he did after dinner as long as
he could stave off being alone with Aoba for as long as possible.
After they had finished eating, the boys went into the common room. Typically
in the evening the patients were supposed to engage in potentially less rowdy
activities like reading or watching TV, but the wardens made an exception
tonight. Clear and Noiz faced off against Mizuki and Koujaku at the ping pong
table. Aoba took a seat close by and acted as their ref.
Thirty minutes before lights out, the wardens finally told them to go to their
rooms. Noiz had completely lost track of time during their games. He had
thoroughly enjoyed kicking Mizuki and Koujaku's ass in ping pong. A light,
happy feeling bubbled up in his chest as he played and he actually found
himself smiling. It felt so normal to play with the other patients like this.
His world might have been thrown completely out of whack, but it was steadily
regaining an equilibrium. His anxiety over Toue had been mitigated when Mink
had first told him about his arrest. He had been confused, disorientated, and
lonely during his solitary time in the main hospital. Getting back into the
swing of things in the ward was already improving his mood.
Neither he nor Aoba opted to shower before bed, so they were both escorted
straight back to their room. Noiz sat down on his bed. He had actually missed
the squeaky, rather stiff mattress. He watched as Aoba perched on the edge of
his own bed. He was anxiously fiddling his thumbs as he stared at the floor.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" Noiz asked quietly as he drew his knee up to his
chest. His eyes remained on the foot of his bed as he spoke.
"Oh, no," Aoba said hastily. "We don't have--that is--if you don't want to,
it's fine." He waved his hands quickly.
"I'm okay talking about it," Noiz said with a shrug. "I mean, it seems like you
want to."
"I'm sorry," Aoba said as he hung his head.
"It's fine," Noiz said.
"It's just that...I found you, but I didn't know what to do." Aoba bit his lip.
"I asked Sly for help; that's what I do when I don't know how to handle
something."
"You don't have to feel guilty about it," Noiz pointed out. "It was kinda an
extra overwhelming situation."
"Ha, yeah," Aoba said. "I did at first, feel guilty that is. I thought about
how I should have come back to check on you sooner. I feel better about that
since I talked to Mink. You should have seen him; he was so upset that he let
you be alone." Aoba shook his head. "He could hide it really well, but he gets
this little twist to his lips when he's upset. Anyway...it's about Sly."
"What about him?" Noiz asked cautiously.
"He hasn't come back since that day," Aoba explained. "I'm, I'm worried. I know
all the wardens and Mink are happy that he hasn't come out because they think
he's a bad thing, but he's always been there for me. It doesn't feel like he's
there anymore."
"What do you mean?" Noiz whispered. His heart was stammering in his throat. His
hands trembled and he gripped the blanket beneath him.
"I can usually sort of feel him in the back of my mind," Aoba said, "but now it
just feels empty where he was. I was wondering--" he finally looked up at Noiz
and his eyes were wide with concern--"did something happen? I mean maybe he got
scared off just by the whole ordeal. I know you two were close, but did
something else happen?"
"Yeah," Noiz said quietly. He hung his head. He couldn't bear to meet Aoba's
gaze. The idea that he had taken something precious from Aoba terrified him,
and the fact that that something was Sly made it feel like he had been gut-
punched with a cement block. "I said something I shouldn't have."
"What did you say?"
"I told him he doesn't exist." Tears welled up in Noiz's eyes as the words
slipped past his lips. He sniffled and dropped his forehead on his knees. "I'm
so sorry. It was so fucked up of me. I was just so upset over everything that
had happened. I was so pissed that he had told Virus about my stepdad, and then
he saved me." He sobbed loudly. "I was so angry. I totally fucked up."
"Noiz, it's okay," Aoba said hurriedly. He got off his bed and hurried to
Noiz's side. He put a gentle hand on Noiz's back. "That probably has something
to do with it..." he admitted eventually as Noiz's sobs quieted down slightly.
"But I'm sure he'll be back. He always comes back."
"I'm sorry," Noiz said as he lifted his head. He stared up at Sly with
glistening eyes.
"You don't have to apologize," Aoba said. He sat down on the bed in front of
Noiz and carefully wiped away his tears. "You were upset and confused. You
didn't mean it."
Noiz shook his head emphatically. He hated and regretted those words almost as
much as he hated and regretted his actual suicide attempt. When he looked back
on it, he knew that the attempt had been made out of desperate confusion. He
had told Mink as much. Now that he knew that Theo was safe he also didn't feel
like he had completely betrayed his stepbrother. The only thing that lingered
from that night was what he had said to Sly.
"Thank you for telling me," Aoba said as he gently stroked Noiz's head. "Do you
need to talk to Mink?" He spoke these words cautiously as if Noiz were a small
animal that he might spook.
"I'm fine," Noiz said with a shake of his head. He knew why Aoba was asking:
his roommate didn't want to wake up to find him dying on the floor. 
"Sly will be back soon, I'm sure," Aoba said. "We don't have to worry." He gave
a small nod to reinforce this. It was obvious that he was trying to convince
himself of this fact.
"Okay," Noiz said quietly. He lay back on the pillows.
Aoba got off the bed and Noiz shifted beneath his blankets. Aoba bid him
goodnight and shut off the light. Noiz sighed quietly and rolled onto his side.
Now that he had told Aoba about what had happened, he felt incredibly relieved.
Now all that was left was to talk to Sly when he came back, which Aoba had
assured him would be soon.
Aoba was wrong, however; Sly didn't come back soon, and after three weeks, it
seemed like there was little hope left that he would ever return.
***** Chapter 12 *****
Chapter Notes
     cw: self-harm mention
See the end of the chapter for more notes
About a month had passed since Noiz had returned to the ward. In that time
neither had Sly returned, nor had he heard much about what was happening with
his stepfather's trial. Mink told him the basics: he was still in custody since
he hadn't made bail; Theo had plans to testify at the trial; the trial was
scheduled for some time next month. Mink didn't give him the details, and Noiz
didn't want them. Noiz didn't want anything to do with the trial. The
prosecutors had tried to get in touch with him through Mink to get his story,
but Noiz had made it very clear that he wouldn't testify at the trial. 
Since Noiz was back in the ward, he was technically allowed to have visitors.
Both his mother and Theo wanted to come in to visit, but Noiz had practically
begged Mink not to let them. Mink had heard him out about how stressful it
would be to see them, and how downright scared Noiz was to talk to Theo. Mink
had agreed that he would need more time to come to terms with everything before
he should see visitors. 
The monotony of ward life was strangely relaxing. It was punctuated every once
and a while by a patient having an episode, but without Sly around things had
calmed down considerably. Sly had a way of drawing the worse out of everyone.
Koujaku hadn't beaten up anyone since going after Sly the last time. Everyone
was happy that Sly hadn't fronted in almost two months; everyone except Noiz
and Aoba.
Noiz continued to blame himself for driving out the alter. He needed to
apologize to Sly. The anxiety and guilt ate away at him to the point where Mink
could pick up on it. Noiz chalked the emotions up to the impending trial and
everything that entailed. Mink bought his story and didn't push him. 
What hurt almost as much as having said those words to Sly was having to see
Aoba every day. The blue-haired host was clearly not coping well without his
alter. He did a commendable job of maintaining a happy face when in the company
of Koujaku and the others, but he couldn't hide everything from his roommate.
Noiz could tell that it was incredibly painful for him to not have
Sly's comforting presence in the back of his mind.
Mink also picked up on Aoba's spike of depression. He would try to get Aoba to
talk things out in group, but it was clear Aoba didn't want to worry anyone. He
would brush off Mink's leading questions with a distracted smile and a
reassuring word. After his individuals with Mink, he would sulk around the ward
for the rest of the day. Noiz and Koujaku would try to get him to participate
in ping pong or card games, but Aoba would brush them off and find a corner to
read a book in. 
The fact that Noiz was the reason for Aoba's sadness was enough to make him
want to drag a knife across his arm. Of course, there was nothing available for
him to self-harm with. The wardens had been exceptionally vigilant of him ever
since his suicide attempt. He couldn't even leave the dinning hall with a
smuggled utensil anymore. He had tried a couple of times and had been reported
to Mink. Mink understood Noiz's keen need to harm himself. Mink offered him ice
cubes to hold to his wrists, but Noiz couldn't feel temperatures that well so
it didn't make a difference. Finally, they found an alternative. Mink gave him
a marker to draw on himself when he wanted to cut. There was something
incredibly satisfying about drawing stark black lines up and down his arms,
like tally marks. There was no pain or any real sensation of course, but then
again there never had been. However, just seeing the lines was enough to sate
him.
Noiz stepped out of the shower with a small sigh. He rubbed the towel over his
wet hair. He had already changed into his sweats and long sleeve. Many of the
patients on the ward were uncomfortable with their bodies so the showers were
set up to have a small space outside of the actually shower to change in. 
The clanking of a curtain being drawn aside made him look up. Koujaku stepped
out of his shower. He was dressed as well, though he had on a short-sleeved
shirt. Twining black ink encircled his arm just below the elbow and disappeared
below the sleeve. He had his hair slicked back from his face, giving Noiz a
view of the half of his face that was usually obscured by his hair.
A puckered pink scar cut across the bridge of his nose. His right eye was
framed with black lines. He was incredibly handsome despite the scar, and the
tattoo somehow amplified his attractiveness.
"What?" Koujaku snapped when he caught Noiz staring.
"Nothing," Noiz mumbled as he dropped his eyes to the floor. He began to move
past Koujaku.
"How's Aoba?"
"Huh?" Noiz paused and stared up at Koujaku, who was frowning down at him.
"How's Aoba doing?" Koujaku expanded. "He seems a bit...down."
"If you wanna know how he's doing, just ask him," Noiz said with a shrug.
"I have," Koujaku said through gritted teeth. "He just says he's fine."
"Then he's fine." Noiz started forward, but Koujaku caught his arm.
"No touching," the nurse who stood by the bathroom door intoned. 
"He's not fine," Koujaku said, releasing Noiz's arm. "He hasn't been fine for a
while. Not since...Sly..."
"It's none of your business," Noiz said. "If it were, he'd talk to you about
it." Noiz left the bathroom before Koujaku could pester him further. He didn't
want to disclose anything about how Aoba was feeling since he didn't know what
Aoba did or didn't want people to know. He wanted Aoba to be back to his
cheerful self, even though it pained him to see that version instead of Sly.
After all, it was his fault Aoba was sad. Maybe he would mention to Aoba that
Koujaku was worried about him, Noiz mused as he returned to his room. 
===============================================================================
 The next day proved to be just as mundane as the multitude of others that had
proceeded it. Noiz was becoming increasingly bored with life on the ward. He
also missed Theo a lot. This by no means meant that he felt ready to see his
brother. The last time Theo had seen him, Noiz had had his dad's cock in his
ass. Noiz laughed ruefully under his breath as he meandered down the hall. 
"It's nice to meet you, Sei."
Noiz looked up at the sound of Virus's silky voice. The sickening sweet tone
hadn't been the only thing that had caught his attention. He hadn't heard that
name since the day Sly had gone completely off the rails. The dark-haired
intern stood by the nurse's station. Virus and Trip stood beside him. They had
on identical smiles as they gazed down at Sei. 
"You too." Sei's voice was cheerful, like it had been the first day Noiz had
heard it, but his eyes were ringed with dark circles. He looked exhausted.
"How is your internship treating you?" Trip asked.
"It's been hectic ever since the director stepped down," Sei said.
Noiz flushed brightly at mention of Toue. According to Mink, the hospital was
officially saying that the director had resigned for personal reasons. They had
not cited statutory rape as these reasons, of course. Noiz wondered if Sei knew
the real reason Toue had left. His stomach twisted at the thought that perhaps
his stepfather had tried something with the cute intern. Noiz shook his head.
The only reason Toue had done those things with him was because he had wanted
to do them to Theo. Noiz and Theo didn't look much alike, but at least they
were both blond. 
Trip and Virus continued to chat up the intern. They were obviously flirting
with Sei, though he didn't seem to notice. It was almost comical how adorably
oblivious Sei was to the lookalikes' advances. Noiz wished he had someone to
watch this with and get a good laugh in. Sly would have probably found it
hilarious.
Sly.
Noiz's mind was drawn back to his previous thought. The last time Sei had been
here Sly had gone off the rails. Sly had gone off the rails because of Sei.
Noiz didn't understand why Sei had triggered him, but he didn't much care.
Noiz turned and hurried into the common room, where he was bound to find Aoba.
Sure enough his roommate was curled in an armchair by the window reading a
book. Noiz crossed the room.
"Aoba." Noiz bent down beside him.
Aoba glanced up with a curious frown.
"Yes?"
"You wanna get Sly back, right?" Noiz said. He pitched his voice low so nobody
around them could overhear. Everyone in the ward was hellbent on seeing Sly
gone for good, except for these two.
"Of course," Aoba said quietly. He stared up at Noiz with sorrowful hazel eyes.
"I have an idea." Noiz caught Aoba's arm and hauled him out of his chair. 
"What do you mean?" Aoba asked as he let himself be dragged out of the common
room.
Noiz didn't answer him. Luckily, Sei was still at the nurses' station with Trip
and Virus. Noiz stopped. He caught Aoba by his shoulders and positioned him so
he was facing Sei.
"Look there," he said, pointing over to the trio.
"I don't really wanna see Trip and Virus go all Discovery Channel on some poor
kid's ass," Aoba said ruefully.
"No, look at the kid."
Sei, whose back had been to Aoba and Noiz, turned his head at that moment to
smile up at Trip. Noiz felt Aoba stiffen in his grip. The boy's eyes went wide
and his face pale to a frightening shade of opaque. He began to tremble in
Noiz's grip. 
"That's Sei," Noiz said in an effort to add insult to injury to lure Sly out.
Aoba let out a shuddering gasp. He stepped back against Noiz's chest. He was
practically quaking now. Noiz suddenly had the sinking feeling that he probably
shouldn't have shown Sei to Aoba.
Aoba stilled against Noiz. Noiz glanced at his face. His eyes were hooded as he
stared down at the floor. His expression was slack. Shit, did I break him? Noiz
panicked. 
"Aoba?"
Aoba ripped from his grip. Noiz stumbled backward. The blue-haired patient spun
around. The heel of his hand drove into Noiz's nose. Noiz grunted as his nose
gave a loud crunch. He snorted as he took a surprised step back. Blood and snot
spilled over his mouth. He brought a hand to his nose. 
"What the fuck?" he mumbled in a nasally voice. 
"Bastard." 
Two hands gripped Noiz's wrists and dragged him forward. Noiz gasped. His eyes
flickered to his roommate's face. Glowing yellow eyes bore into his green ones.
"Sly," Noiz whispered.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Sly bellowed at him. 
His explosive words drew Trip and Virus's attention. The pair quickly hurried
over to Noiz and Sly.
"Aoba, what is going on?" Virus demanded as he grabbed Sly's shoulder. "Release
Noiz now."
"You sick son of a bitch," Sly snarled at Noiz. He shoved him away from
himself. 
Noiz stumbled backward. He tripped over his feet and landed hard on his ass.
Sly spun. He slammed his fist in Virus's solar plexus. The man grunted and
doubled over. Trip grabbed Sly's elbow and twisted his arm behind his back. Sly
let out an inhuman howl as he bucked against Trip's grip. 
"What is going on?" Mink had dashed out of his office and hurried down the
hallway. His eyes took in the scene before him: a bleeding Noiz, a bent over
and groaning Virus, and an exceptionally volatile Sly in Trip's hands. "Sly."
His calm voice seemed to resonate with Sly, and the patient stilled.
"Oh, Mink," Sly said. He gave a wolfish grin. "It's so good to see you."
"You're back," Mink said superfluously. 
"Mm, yes I am," Sly purred. 
"What happened?" Mink glanced between Trip and Virus.
"Don't know," Virus said as he straightened and adjusted his glasses. "He
punched Noiz in the face and then started screaming at him."
Mink turned to look down at Noiz, who was holding the sleeve of his shirt to
his bloody nose. Noiz bit his lip under the inquiring gaze. He glanced at Sly,
whose slitted eyes bore into him.
"I don't know what happened," Noiz said. "He just freaked out."
"Is everything okay?" The cautious voice drew everyone's attention to Sei. He
glanced hesitantly between the nurses and patients. Finally his gaze came to
rest on Sly. His eyes considered him with a quizzical regard. 
Sly drew in a trembling breath. He held Sei's gaze for a moment before giving a
small whimper and jerking his head away. Mink frowned.
"Everything's fine, but you should go," Mink said. "We need to settle our
patients down." He nodded to Virus, who turned and escorted Sei off the ward.
Mink turned back to Sly and Noiz. He gestured to one of the wardens who had
emerged from the common room when the commotion had broke out. Sly and Noiz's
scuffle had also drawn the attention of the patients. Koujaku, Mizuki, and
Clear looked on with confusion from the doorway of the common room. 
"Clean Noiz up," he instructed the warden. "Trip, bring Sly to my office." He
turned and walked to his office. He was followed by Trip, who still held onto
Sly's arm, even though the patient had stopped struggling. 
"Noiz." Sly's voice held a sing-song lilt to it as he called back to the other
patient.
Noiz looked up. He swallowed under the penetrating yellow gaze.
"How does it feel to get your face crushed by someone who doesn't exist?" A
vicious grin cut across his face. 
Chapter End Notes
     uh-oh why doesn't sei recognize sly? dun dun dun
     i hope peeps like this chapter!!! i don't know what i'm doing with
     plot now since i only had things planned up to the noiz x toue scene
***** Chapter 13 *****
Chapter Notes
     sorry for the late update! i'm on vacation right now and have limited
     wifi, but i found a patch of internet connection to upload this! i'll
     be back home on saturday with hopefully more consistent updates.
     enjoy~
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Noiz was seated at one of the tables in the common room. About twenty minutes
had passed since Sly had been taken to Mink’s office. Noiz’s nose had been
patched up and he had been sent on his merry way. He had been accosted almost
immediately by Koujaku who had demanded to know what had happened to Aoba. Noiz
had explained the situation to him just as vaguely as he had to Mink. He had a
feeling Koujaku would go ballistic if he found out Noiz had triggered Aoba on
purpose.
Noiz sighed quietly. He nestled his chin against the back of his hand, which
lay on the table. He was starting to get antsy. He needed to—wanted to talk to
Sly. He still hadn’t formulated an appropriate apology. First of all,
apologizing at all terrified him. Second, he wasn’t sure how best to convince
Sly of his sincerity. Sly was flippant and despondent by nature; he’d probably
brush Noiz’s apology aside and then lord what Noiz had said over his head for
the rest of their time in the ward.
“There are you are, roomie.”
Noiz gasped and straightened. He looked up at Sly. The older patient grinned
down at him. His hands were stuffed in his pockets. He was still dressed as
Aoba had been earlier in the afternoon: tight blue jeans, a white t-shirt, and
a yellow hoodie, which clashed horrendously with his blue hair, but then again
little didn’t.
“Sly,” Noiz whispered as the alter sat down at the table across from him. He
glanced around the common room quickly.
Koujaku, Mizuki, and Clear were sitting on the couch together watching TV. At
least, the latter two were. Koujaku was currently glaring at Sly. The wardens
by the doorway were watching the pair as well. Mink had probably told them to
keep an eye on Sly.
“How are you?” Sly asked. He still had his shit-eating grin on, but his eyes
flashed with genuine concern.
“Fine,” Noiz mumbled as he folded his arms over his chest. He stared down at
the garish, lime green bunny head splattered across the front of his
sweatshirt.
“It’s been quite a while,” Sly said. He leaned forward and propped his elbows
on the table between them. “You miss me?”
“No,” Noiz snapped, a touch too quickly for his words to be believable.
Sly snorted loudly. He ran his hand through his hair.
“I’d rather talk in private,” he muttered as he glanced over at the wardens.
“Maybe then you’d actually tell me how you’re doing.”
“I already told you; I’m fine,” Noiz said. When Sly raised his eyebrows
derisively, Noiz added, “I’m doing a lot better than I was when you saw me
last.”
“Last I saw you you were trying to choke yourself to death with your t-shirt,
Noiz,” Sly pointed out. “Let me play a little catch up, yeah? What happened
with your stepdad?”
“I don’t want to talk about this,” Noiz grumbled. He gnawed desperately on the
inside of his lip to the point where he could taste blood. It was bad enough
that he had an apology to deliver, but now Sly was bombarding him with
questions, the subject of which he didn’t want to think about in the least.
“Noi—“
“I said I don’t want to talk about it!” Noiz yelled, slamming his hands down on
the table. The action caused the wardens to step forward.
“Whoa, okay, we don’t have to,” Sly said quickly as he raised his hands in
surrender. He leaned back in his chair. “But if we aren’t going to talk about
that, then you have to tell me what the fuck you were doing showing Sei to
Aoba. That’s next level fucked up, Noiz.”
“I thought it might bring you out,” Noiz mumbled as he fiddled with the sleeves
of his sweatshirt. “Aoba hasn’t been doing too good without you here.”
“Aw, you did that for sweet little Aoba?” Sly said mockingly. His face darkened
and he leaned forward. “Don’t ever do that again, Noiz. I don’t care if I
haven’t fronted in a while and Aoba needs me back. It takes a ridiculous amount
of fucking around in our head to repress Aoba’s memories of seeing Sei.”
“What do you mean?” Noiz asked, cocking his head to the side. “Aoba doesn’t
remember the first time he saw Sei here?”
“No, and he won’t remember this time either,” Sly said.
“Who is he anyway?” Noiz asked. “You know him, right?”
“If you won’t talk to me about your shit, then I’m not going to talk to you
about ours,” Sly said with a shake of his.  “But I’m curious why you went to
all that trouble to bring me out. It couldn’t have just been for Aoba’s sake.”
“Um, I…” Noiz bit his lip and stared down at the table. “I’m—“ He released a
huff of air through his nose— “I’m sorry. About what I said when I, um, saw you
last. I didn’t mean it. I was just upset and—“ He broke off when his voice
cracked. He felt close to tears now, which was so fucking embarrassing.
“It’s okay,” Sly said. He caught Noiz’s hand, gave it a quick squeeze, and
released it before he could be reprimanded by one of the wardens. “You were
upset and a bit oxygen deprived. I won’t hold against you.”
“But this afternoon,” Noiz said, glancing up at Sly through his lashes, “you
said—“
“Yeah, I was a bit pissed off at you,” Sly said with a small chuckle. “You
know, Noiz, if you’re really so undone about it, you can always make it up to
me.” He propped his chin on his hand and waggled his eyebrows. His sharp
canines flashed as he grinned.
“I, um.” Noiz pressed the heel of his hand against his mouth and flushed
brightly. “I mean, I guess, I don’t wanna owe you or something.”
“Dude,” Sly said, “I was fucking kidding. You don’t have to do shit. I accept
your apology; don’t worry. I was just fucking with you.”
“Oh,” Noiz said quietly. “Okay.” He gave a small sigh of relief. He hadn’t
thought that his apology would go over so well. “Good, cool.”
“Fuck, you’re adorable,” Sly said with a laugh. “You really went to all that
trouble getting me back just so you could apologize?”
“Well, yeah,” Noiz mumbled, “and I kinda…”
“Yes?” Sly prompted with a small smirk.
“Nothing, forget it,” Noiz said with a shake of his head.
“Aw, did you miss me, Noiz-y?” Sly asked in a sing-song voice.
“Fuck off,” Noiz muttered.
“Oh, that’s definitely a 'yes,'” Sly said with a self-satisfied smirk.
“It’s my fault.” Noiz hung his head and stared down at his hands, which he was
twisting together in his lap.
“What is?”
“That you vanished,” Noiz said. “What I said to you made you go away, didn’t
it?”
“Yeah,” Sly said with a heavy sigh. “I think it did.” He rubbed the back of his
head. A frown twisted his typically sneering features. “But don’t worry about
it,” he said, breaking into a smile. “I’m back now and you won’t say shit like
that again, right?”
“Right,” Noiz said with a firm nod.
“Fuck, you’re cute,” Sly said with a laugh. “I’m quite looking forward to when
we get back to our room tonight.”
“Sh-shut up,” Noiz muttered. He rubbed his nose and stared down at the table.
His cheeks carried a bright flush of embarrassment. He had to admit that part
of what he had missed about Sly was hooking up with him. Noiz wasn’t a sex
addict or anything close to that, but he did have a healthy appetite for sex.
Maybe it wasn’t healthy, he thought suddenly. Maybe it was fucking disgusting
how much he had sex. Of course, it was no question that it was disgusting who
he had sex with.
“We don’t have to do anything,” Sly said quickly as he watched Noiz’s face
twist with trepidation.
“Um, you don’t…you don’t, like, think I’m a slut or something, right?” Noiz
asked in an almost inaudible voice.
“What? No, why would I?” Sly said with a shake of his head. “I’ve probably had
sex with more people than you and I’ve been locked up in for six years. Don’t
tell Koujaku, though. He’ll get pissed if he found out I use Aoba’s body in
such a depraved fashion.” Sly winked.
“Yeah, but the thing with my stepdad,” Noiz whispered quietly.
“Dude, that doesn’t count as you sleeping around. You didn’t have a choice; he
made you do that stuff,” Sly said emphatically. “He forced you; that’s not your
fault.”
“I know, I guess, but—“
“Noiz,” Sly said firmly. “You’re not a slut. The stuff that you did with your
stepdad wasn’t consensual so it totally doesn’t count as part of your sex life.
You probably have just as healthy a sex life as the next guy. Don’t worry about
it. And we don’t have to fool around again until you feel comfortable, okay?”
“Okay,” Noiz said with a small nod.
===============================================================================
They didn’t end up hooking up that night. Noiz was a little too nervous and Sly
didn’t push the subject. He didn’t seem to care one way or the other whether
they hooked up, which didn’t help Noiz’s self-esteem. His worries were averted,
however, when, after lights out, Sly climbed into bed with him—after asking
permission—and they had laid together and chatted idly. Noiz had eventually
fallen asleep, curled up against Sly’s side. It was comforting to have the warm
body beside him. When he woke the next morning, he found Sly lying in his own
bed with his feet up against the wall, reading a book. Apparently he hadn’t
wanted the wardens to walk in on them sleeping together.
“That’s a surefire way of getting stuck with a new roommate,” he had
explained. 
Sly didn’t look like he had slept at all the night before. His eyes appeared
sunken and were ringed with shadows. He also functioned in something of a haze
as they went to breakfast together.
They sat at a table with Mizuki, Clear, and Koujaku. The latter was blatantly
giving Sly the cold shoulder as he chatted with Mizuki, but Sly was a touch too
exhausted to antagonize him. He threw out a few witty barbs directed at
Koujaku, but none of them had enough force for even Koujaku to get upset about.
After breakfast, they all walked to group together. Clear assumed his usual
seat next to the one that was left empty for Mink; Noiz sat down beside him;
and Sly took the seat next to him. Koujaku and Mizuki sat down on the opposite
side of the circle. Koujaku looked like he wanted to get as far away from Sly
as possible as he sneered across the circle at him. Sly didn’t take any notice.
He let out a huge yawn and sunk low in his chair. He dropped his head back and
closed his eyes.
“Good morning, everyone,” Mink said as he walked into the room. He sat down
beside Clear as he scanned the circle to gauge how the patients were doing. He
got a feel for this by how patients returned his greeting. “Clear, would you
like to start introductions?” He glanced down at the boy beside him.
“Okay,” Clear said in his bubbly voice. “I’m Clear. I have mirrored-self
misidentification. I took off my mask twice this week.” His eyes crinkled with
a huge smile as he looked up at Mink.
“Good job, Clear,” Mink said with a nod. “That’s great work. Noiz?”
“I’m Noiz,” Noiz said. He had yet to supply more information than that at
group.
“Sly,” Sly said. He still had his eyes closed.
“Are you tired, Sly?” Mink asked. He looked genuinely concerned as he stared at
the alter's ashen face. “Did you not sleep well last night?”
“I’m fine,” Sly said. He sat forward and opened his eyes. The bright yellow
orbs found Mink’s eyes.
“Alright, Sly,” Mink said, though it was obvious he didn’t believe Sly in the
slightest. Who would? The boy looked ready to fall asleep in his chair. “Would
you like to share anything?”
“Nah,” Sly said with a wave of a hand.
When they had finally made their way around the circle, Mink gave his typical
announcements. One of the patients asked about Toue and why he had stepped
down. Noiz skulked low in his chair. He could feel Sly, Koujaku, Clear, and
Mizuki all glance in his direction. Mink informed him that the details weren’t
privy to the doctor and steered the conversation elsewhere.
Noiz tried to pay attention as best he could. It was embarrassing when he would
be called on and wouldn't respond for a solid minute because he had zoned out
so much.
Koujaku and Clear were making great strides in their recovery. Clear had self-
destructive tendencies that functioned in tandem with his reflection-
identifying issue. Noiz had slowly learned during his time at the ward that
there were many disorders that didn't require hospitalization, but as soon as
someone became a danger to themself or others, then in-treatment was
considered. Koujaku was a danger to himself and others when he got angry, but
he hadn't been going off the rails as much recently. It probably helped that
Sly hadn’t been around for so long. It was hard for him to control his anger
when Sly made a concentrated effort to disrupt the tentative balance he’d
developed inside himself.
Mizuki wasn’t doing well apparently. His panic attacks and night terrors were
returning with force. One of his friends from his old gang had overdosed
recently and that was causing all sorts of memories to resurface. He talked
through this a bit with the group. A couple of the other patients had
experienced losing friends to overdoses and they chimed in with some helpful
words.
After thanking Mizuki for being so open and the other patients for helping him
discuss the topic, Mink finally turned his attention to Noiz, a fact that Noiz
was aware of because he was actually paying attention.
“And you, Noiz? How have you been doing?”
Noiz shrugged.
“We have a visiting day coming up,” Mink said. “Would you like anyone to come
see you?”
“Um…” Noiz bit his lip and stared down at the floor. He hadn’t thought much
about seeing his mother or Theo. The latter he was desperate to see though also
terrified. He wanted to talk to Theo again; see how he was doing with the whole
thing with his dad. The only problem was Noiz was the thing with his dad. He
couldn’t imagine what Theo thought of him. Did he think his stepbrother was
some sort of whore? The fact of the matter was he’d never know what Theo
thought unless he actually faced him.
His mother, on the other hand, he could do without seeing for the rest of her
life. Mink had said she was being investigated for negligence since Noiz was
still a minor and everything with Toue had happened under her roof. His mother
didn’t win any parenting awards that was for sure, but she also wasn’t a
terrible mother. She just had no idea how to handle a child that was an
absolute freak compared to the other kids. She had been shunned by other moms
when Noiz was young because of what Noiz had done to the other kids. Not
knowing what pain was and not knowing he was an anomaly in this way, he had
thought that everyone was like him. This had led him to be incredibly rough
with the other kids, causing several broken bones and numerous howls of pain.
His mother, as well as his doctors, had a terrible time trying to explain pain
to a five-year-old. Finally, his mother had simply opted to remove him from
society. He had grown up without friends, completely ostracized from others.
This probably boarded on negligence since he had developed such profound self-
loathing and a tendency to slice his flesh open, but he didn’t hold any of this
against his mother. He couldn’t imagine her doing anything else besides keeping
him at home. All the same, they weren’t particularly close and it was even more
terrifying to see her now that she knew that he had been sleeping with her
husband.
“M-maybe,” Noiz said slowly, “I could try seeing Theo?” He glanced over at
Mink, who had waited patiently for him this whole time.
“You would like to try seeing your brother,” Mink said with a slow nod. “I
think that would be a good idea.”
“But what if…” Noiz shrugged and waved his hands.
“The visiting hour will be monitored and if anything gets out of hand, then we
can remove you from the situation,” Mink assured him.
“Okay,” Noiz said. “I’ll try seeing him then.”
Mink nodded and moved on to another patient. He didn’t turn his attention to
Sly during the group session. Noiz wasn’t sure if he did this because he
thought Sly had fallen asleep—the patient’s eyes were closed and he was
breathing steadily.
At the end of the session, Mink called Sly into his office. Sly hadn’t been
asleep it would seem since he got up immediately and followed Mink inside. Noiz
watched them go and surmised that Mink wanted to talk to Sly in private about
his and Aoba’s issues.
After group, he was invited to play cards with Clear and Mizuki. Koujaku
skulked after them. He didn’t look particularly thrilled with the activity, but
he did participate in it. Clear asked Mizuki more about how he was doing and if
there was anything they could do to help. Mizuki had only shrugged non-
committal and said there really wasn’t anything to do, but he had thanked Clear
for his concern. 
About thirty minutes later, Noiz’s roommate returned from Mink’s office. He had
his head down and his hands buried in the pockets of his sweatpants. He walked
slowly across the room. He had drawn the attention of not only Noiz, who had
been facing the door and therefore the first to see him, but also Koujaku.
Eventually Mizuki and Clear looked up when they realized they were playing the
game alone.
“Noiz, can I talk to you?” The blue-haired boy’s voice was soft. When he
glanced up, Noiz saw his eyes were a soft hazel.
Aoba, he thought. The amount of disappointment made him feel like a truly
terrible person.
“Ah, sure.” Noiz quickly dropped his cards to the table and got up. “What’s
up?” he asked as the pair walked over to two armchairs on the far side of the
room.
“I just need someone to talk to,” Aoba said, “about Sei.”
Chapter End Notes
     i hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! we're going to learn about sei
     in the next one!
***** Chapter 14 *****
Chapter Notes
     sorry for such a late update! i was feeling really stuck with this.
     thanks for whoever dropped by my tumblr and asked me about updating.
     that gave me a push to get this chapter finished.
     hope everyone enjoys~
     cw: choking
“You remember Sei,” Noiz gasped as he dropped into the armchair.
“Well, yes, you showed him to me yesterday,” Aoba said quietly. He didn’t sound
resentful of this fact.
“I just thought maybe since Sly came out you wouldn’t remember,” Noiz said
hurriedly. It had been Sly’s intention to repress memories of Sei for Aoba, but
clearly he hadn’t succeeded.
“That happens sometimes, but I remember.” Aoba toyed gently with the ends of
his hair as he stared at the floor between the pair. “My heads a bit of a
jumble right now. It doesn’t feel as empty now that Sly’s back, but I can’t get
my thoughts in order. That’s probably the panic.” Aoba released a huff of
bitter laughter.
“Who is Sei?” Noiz asked. He wouldn’t get this answer from Sly, but Aoba seemed
willingly to provide it.
“My twin,” Aoba said. He looked up at Noiz and met his gaze. “He’s my twin
brother.”
“You mean,” Noiz said slowly, “the one you got separated from when you were
adopted?” He remembered Sly mentioning this once before. Apparently the
adoption and the separation from his twin had really hurt Aoba, and, from what
Noiz could gather, how Sly came into being.
“Sly told you about that?” Aoba said. Surprise warped his expression as he
stared at Noiz with wide eyes. “We don’t talk about that with anyone. He must…”
Aoba’s voice trailed away.
“I’m sorry. Was he not suppose to say something?”
“It’s fine.” Aoba shook his head. “I’m just surprised he would talk to anyone
about that.”
“Have you guys told Mink?”
“Mink knows we were adopted and separated from Sei. He knows that’s when Sly
came into the picture.”
“Did you tell him who Sei is?”
“No,” Aoba said quietly. “It would just be…too much to handle. I haven’t seen
him for twelve years. I just can’t imagine that. Even seeing him…it felt like I
was drowning. I was so overwhelmed, but Sly was there. He saved me. The only
one I need is Sly.” The last words were spoken so softly Noiz wasn’t even sure
Aoba had uttered them. “Besides,” he said more loudly, “didn’t he see me? He
would have said something if he wanted us to reunite, but I guess…he doesn’t.”
Noiz frowned. Sei had seen Aoba, or rather Sly, since that was who had been in
control. From what Noiz could tell, he hadn’t recognized Sly in the slightest,
which didn’t make sense.
“This might sound weird,” Noiz said carefully, “and it might upset you, but I
don’t think he remembers who you are.”
“What?” Aoba cried out. His word drew the attentions of Koujaku, Clear, and
Mizuki who were still on the other side of the room playing cards.
“He looked at you, well, Sly, and he didn’t seem to recognize you at all,” Noiz
explained. “I’m sorry.”
“How? How is that possible?” Aoba asked quietly.
“Maybe you should talk to Mink,” Noiz suggested.
“No,” Aoba snapped. “I don’t need to do that. I’m fine. It doesn’t matter.” He
rose to his feet.
“Wait, Aoba, I thought—“ Noiz frowned. He wasn’t sure what he had thought. It
had seemed like Aoba was coming to him for help, but it was clear he didn’t
want any, and Noiz didn’t want to force unwanted assistance on him.
“Don’t worry about it, Noiz,” Aoba said. “Sly and I will handle this.”
“But,” Noiz began, “I am worried.” He flushed brightly and stared down at his
hands. It was a strange sensation for him to worry about someone other than
Theo, but he found this being the case for both Sly and his host.
“It’s okay, Noiz,” Aoba said gently as he patted Noiz’s shoulder. “I have Sly
and we’ll talk to Mink if we need to.”
Noiz nodded. Aoba went over to Mizuki, Clear, and Koujaku’s table to join their
game. Noiz remained by himself for some time, lost in thought. Aoba had Sly,
but Sly didn’t really have anyone. Aoba was friends with everyone in the ward,
but Sly was kind of shunned by the other patients, even Mizuki and Clear. Noiz
was the only one who put up with him to any real extent. He’d have to tell Sly
that Aoba knew about Sei. That wasn’t going to be a pretty situation.
===============================================================================
 Noiz didn't have to worry about telling Sly about what Aoba knew because Sly
didn’t return for quite some time. The next time he saw the blue-haired alter
Sly was sullenly marching into the visitor’s room to take a seat across the
table from a dark-haired boy. Noiz stared at the pair. He hadn't known that
Aoba would be getting a visitor today; Aoba hadn't mentioned anything to him or
the others at breakfast.
“Noiz?”
Noiz quickly looked around and met his brother’s gaze. Theo smiled at him. Noiz
mumbled an apology. He hadn’t been doing a very good job of paying attention to
Theo since they had sat down at the table together some minutes ago. Everything
distracted him, probably because he was looking to find any excuse not to look
at Theo.
“So, how are you liking it here?” Theo asked hesitantly. He had opened with
benign small talk about how school was going and how his friends were doing.
“It’s fine,” Noiz said with a small shrug. He glanced over at the wall on his
left.
Trip was leaning against it. He was gazing around the room, but he looked over
at Noiz’s table more often than anyone else’s. Mink had assured Noiz that Trip
would keep an eye on him.
“Have you made any friends?” Theo asked. He was fiddling absentmindedly with
the can of soda he had clasped in his pale hands. His blond hair was combed
back from his round face. His blue eyes gleamed as he stared at Noiz. A small
smile played over his lips, but Noiz could tell it was forced. Theo was doing
an impressive job of seeming unaffected in this situation, but Noiz could tell
he was anxious.
“A few,” Noiz said.
“Do you have a roommate?”
“Yeah.” Noiz glanced over at Sly.
His roommate was whispering urgently with his visitor. The boy’s dark, almost
blue hair spiked haphazardly around his narrow face. His eyes were framed with
eyeliner and red eyeshadow was smudged at the corners of his eyes. He was
dressed in a loose, blue t-shirt over a white long sleeve. He also wore a
necklace with a blue gem hanging from it. His hands were twisting around his
red beanie as he watched Sly and nodded slowly.
“Is that him?” Theo asked, following Noiz’s gaze.
“Yeah, the one who’s flipping the bird,” Noiz said with a small smile.
Sly was currently flipping off his visitor who rolled his eyes and swatted
Sly’s finger down.
“He has pretty hair,” Theo said. “Do you guys get along?”
“Sort of.” Noiz frowned. “It’s complicated.”
“How come?”
“Aoba has disassociate identity disorder,” Noiz explained.
“What’s that?” Theo’s brows crinkled in confusion.
“He has two personalities,” Noiz said. “Aoba’s the host. That’s his alter,
Sly.” Noiz nodded over to Sly.
“Do you get along better with one over the other?”
“Aoba's nice," Noiz said with a shrug. “Sly…Sly is kinda an asshole.” He
blushed. He didn’t want to get into the details of how he and Sly got along.
“But he’s fun to hang out with.”
“That's good,” Theo said.
“Mm.” Noiz nodded.
They sat in silence for a few, excruciatingly awkward minutes. At least, Noiz
found them awkward. Theo seemed content with sipping his soda.
“Do, do you want to talk about…anything else?” Noiz asked cautiously.
“Oh, um.” Theo rested his can on the table and stared down at it. He bit his
lip.
“We don’t have to,” Noiz said quickly.
“I want to,” Theo murmured. “I just don’t know how to ask in a way that’s
not…offensive.” The last word came out barely above a whisper. His cheeks were
pale. He gnawed at his lip.
“It’s fine,” Noiz said. “You can ask it how ever you like and I just won’t get
offended.” He forced a small smile. “Don’t worry.”
“O-okay,” Theo said. He took a small breath. “Why, why did you let him do that
to you?” He spoke in a slow, hesitant voice. He didn’t look at Noiz, instead
opting to keep his eyes fixed on the table.
“He, um—“ Noiz cleared his throat. “He was…” Noiz released a sharp sigh. He
didn’t want to admit that Toue had been threatening Theo; he didn’t want his
brother to think this was his fault.
“Did he say he’d hurt me if you didn’t do it?” Theo asked quietly.
“What? Did he do something to you?” Noiz snapped loudly. He shoved out of his
chair and stared down at Theo.
Trip took a step forward. He was frowning slightly, but he didn’t make another
move to interfere. Noiz’s outburst had drawn Sly’s attention as well. The
alter’s yellow eyes bore into his roommate.
“No,” Theo said earnestly as he shook his head. “He didn’t do or say anything.”
Noiz sighed heavily and dropped back into his chair. Trip leaned against the
wall with his own sigh of relief. Sly’s gaze didn’t leave Noiz, however.
“Why did you ask then?” Noiz said quietly.
“After I…after I saw you two together,” Theo said, “I realized what sort of
person my—he is. I started thinking about all the things he’d said and done in
the past, and it made me realize that maybe he, he was doing those things with
you because he wanted to do them…” Theo gestured at himself.
Noiz’s face drained of color. His stomach twisted. He felt like he was going to
vomit. He stared at Theo as his brother continued to gaze down at the table.
“All this time I’ve been thinking that this is my fault,” Theo murmured when
Noiz didn’t say anything, “and I was right. Wasn’t I?” He looked up at Noiz.
Noiz shook his head slowly.
“No, no, don’t blame yourself, please,” Noiz whispered. He couldn’t let Theo
think he was at all fault; he couldn’t. He had to convince him that he was
wrong. “That’s not why. You had nothing to do with it.” Noiz’s voice was rising
as panic ate away at him. “I did it because…I did it because I wanted to. You
had nothing to do with it.” Noiz shot out of his seat again. “Don’t be so
arrogant, Theo. This had nothing to do with you. I did it because I liked it.”
Noiz spun on his heel and sprinted out of the visitor’s room.
===============================================================================
Sly slunk into the visitor’s room. His eyes roamed around. He spotted Noiz at a
table with a small, blond boy, whom Sly guessed was his step-brother. He
continued to look around the room until he spotted Ren.
His adopted brother sat up when Sly spotted him. He waved at him. Sly loped
over to the table and sat down across from him.
“This is a surprise,” Sly drawled. “What are you doing here?”
“Hey, Sly.” A smile flickered across Ren’s face.
“Don’t look so disappointed that Aoba’s not here,” Sly said dryly. There was a
dull ache behind his eyes. He’d slipped back into control right after Mink had
told Aoba that Ren was here to see him. Aoba hadn't said anything when he’d
abandoned ship, but he didn't always summon Sly to take control.
“I'm not disappointed to see you, Sly,” Ren said. “Just surprised. I thought
Aoba would be fronting. Mink told me he’d been fronting quite a bit recently.”
“Oh, so you’re in contact with the good doctor?” Sly said, raising his
eyebrows.
“He keeps me up-to-date with how you’re doing, since I’m legally your
guardian.”
Sly nodded. His and Aoba’s adopted parents had passed away when they had still
been a minor. Because of this, Ren, who’d been twenty at the time, took over
guardianship of them. It made sense that Mink would keep him in the loop
because of this. Sly wasn’t a minor anymore, but Ren was still his only family.
“It’s been a while since my last visit, so I thought maybe Aoba would feel up
to seeing me,” Ren said.
After Sly’s destructive antics had gotten too out of hand, Ren had opted for
seeking medical help. Sly and Aoba had still been minors, so Ren had been able
to put them away against Aoba’s will. Sly had to admit that getting locked up
in the ward was actually the best thing for them. His sole purpose for existing
was to keep Aoba safe, but he still had destructive tendencies that put his
host at risk. He couldn’t help this, but he knew that the ward could. Aoba
hadn’t taken well to Ren institutionalizing them. He’d seen it as just one more
betrayal after a long succession of such things. It had taken several, long
chats with Mink to work through that Ren had done this for Aoba's sake. All the
same, Aoba had held a grudge for some time to cover up how hurt he'd been.
Eventually, he had agreed to see Ren. Ren had visited sporadically over the
years. Aoba got incredibly overwhelmed after seeing him, so he need plenty of
times between visiting.
“Too bad for you then,” Sly said with a smirk. “Aoba fucking ran for it when he
found out you were here.”
“Really?” Ren gazed down at the table. He looked utterly crestfallen.
“It might not have been you,” Sly said with a sigh.
“Are you trying to make me feel better?” Ren asked with a chuckle.
Sly flipped him off. Ren rolled his eyes and knocked the offensive gesture
aside.
“Things have been pretty rough around here recently,” Sly said with a sigh as
he sat back in his chair.
“Is Aoba okay?” Ren asked.
“No, something’s wrong.” Sly ran a hand through his hair. “Ren.” He glanced up
at his adopted brother. “Sei’s an intern here.”
“What?” Ren hissed as he leaned forward. “What the fuck? Are you serious?”
“Ah, yeah,” Sly said with dry laugh. “Even my sense of humor isn’t that fucked
up.”
“Did he do something to you?” Noiz’s raised voice made Sly look around.
Noiz was out of his chair. He was staring down at his brother with wide,
frightened eyes. Theo shook his head. He spoke quietly and Noiz slowly dropped
back into his chair.
“What happened when you saw him?” Ren asked.
“Aoba freaked out and I came into control,” Sly said. His eyes remained on Noiz
as he spoke. “I flipped out at Mink, but I played it off by saying the new
intern looked like someone we’d known at the orphanage. He didn’t see us then,
but the other day.” Sly shook his head slowly. “He looked right at us, but it
was like he didn’t even recognize us.” He finally pulled his gaze away from
Noiz and rubbed his hand against his forehead.
“What do you mean?” Ren asked quietly.
“It’s like he doesn’t even know who we are,” Sly whispered.
“What? Like, he forgot about his own twin?” Ren said.
“I guess.” Sly shrugged.
“What about Aoba? How’s he holding up?”
“The first time I managed to suppress his memory of seeing Sei,” Sly explained,
“but this time I’m not so sure. Everything feels jumbled, and when I’m not in
control and just in my headspace, it feels like there’s a wall up between us,
like Aoba’s shutting me out.”
“You need to talk to Mink about this,” Ren said urgently.
“You had nothing to do with it!”
Sly looked around at the sound of Noiz’s raised voice.
“I did it because…I did it because I wanted to,” Noiz continued in a loud
voice. “You had nothing to do with it!” He jumped out of his seat and glared
down at his brother. “Don’t be so arrogant, Theo. This had nothing to do with
you. I did it because I liked it.”
Sly’s eyes grew wide. He knew what they were talking about; they were talking
about Toue. And Noiz was saying he liked sleeping with Toue. Theo stared at his
brother in horror. Noiz whipped around and ran out of the visitor's room.
“Sly—“
Sly jumped out of his chair.
“I have to go,” he said quickly.
“Sly, we have to talk about this,” Ren said as he got up as well.
“I’m sorry you couldn’t see Aoba, Ren,” Sly said. His gaze was rooted on the
door Noiz had disappeared through. “Thanks for coming. I’m sorry I have to go.”
He ran out of the room after Noiz. He hurried down the hallway into the main
corridor. He looked up at down it, but there was no sign of Noiz. He ran to
their room and pulled the door open. Noiz was lying on the mattress. His face
was buried in his pillow. His shoulders were shaking.
“Noiz.” Sly hurried to his bed and leaned over his roommate’s quaking body.
“Are you okay? What happened?”
Noiz froze. Sly stared down at him. Slowly, Noiz sat up on his knees. He
glanced at Sly over his shoulder.
"What happened?" Sly repeated.
"You're back," Noiz said in a husky voice. "I guess this is as good a time as
any to tell you."
"Tell me what?" Sly asked in confusion.
"Aoba remembers seeing Sei," Noiz said. A slow smirk spread over his face.
"Guess I really fucked up on that account."
Sly snarled. This was why, this was why Aoba had been having such problems
recently. He knew; he knew that Sei was here. And it was Noiz's fault. Without
thinking, Sly lunged forward. His fingers wrapped around Noiz's throat and he
pinned Noiz to the bed. Noiz laughed as Sly pressed down on him. He
convulsed slightly as his lungs tried to drag in air. His face grew red.
"You sick sonovabitch," Sly hissed. "This is all your fault."
"Mm-hm," Noiz gurgled as he nodded as best he could. "It is. It's my fault. All
of it is my fault."
 
***** Chapter 15 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Sly dug his fingers harder into Noiz's neck. His vision blurred with rage. He
panted through his nose as he forced his weight onto Noiz's throat. The boy
beneath him whimpered. His fingers clawed at the sheets. His face was an
unnatural shade of red. He whined loudly and his eyelids fluttered.
Sly! Stop! You're going to kill him!
Sly blinked. His vision cleared and he saw the tears dripping out of Noiz's
eyes. The boy's lips worked desperately, but he couldn't formulate any sound.
Sly jerked back, his hands relinquishing their lethal grip on Noiz's throat.
Noiz gasped and rolled onto his side. He hacked, moaned, wheezed. Sly stared at
him with wide eyes. His hands were still shaking, but the all-consuming rage no
longer suffocated his mind.
"I'm moving out," he whispered. He pushed off the bed and left the room.
===============================================================================
Sly made good on his promise to change rooms. Two wardens and Mink entered the
room a short time later. Noiz, who was curled up under the covers, didn't
respond when Mink asked him what had happened. The doctor tried several times
to get an explanation from him, but Noiz refused to supply one. The wardens
moved Sly and Aoba's things out of their room to another. 
Noiz emerged from his cocoon when it was time for dinner. He dressed in a
turtle neck and sweatshirt even though the ward's temperature made this outfit
feel a touch stifling. He found Mizuki, Clear, and Koujaku sitting at a table
together. Sly sat alone at another one. Noiz gazed at him for a long time
before going to sit next to Clear. 
The other patients tried without success to wrangle out of Noiz what had
happened between him and Sly. None of them had had visitors today so they
hadn't seen what had happened between Noiz and Theo. Noiz didn't answer their
queries. His gaze was on Sly throughout the meal, but his thoughts were on
Theo. He hoped that his outburst had convinced Theo that none of this was his
fault. 
After dinner, Noiz allowed himself to be roped into a game of cards. He didn't
pay much attention, opting instead to stare at Sly, who sat in one of the widow
seats with a book on his knees. 
When it was time to get ready for bed, the patients all left the common room to
go to their respective rooms. Noiz trailed behind the group. His eyes were
fixed on Sly as he watched his former roommate enter a new room.
Noiz didn't sleep well without the comforting presence of another person in his
room. 
The next morning, after breakfast, he and Sly were called into Mink's office.
The pair were directed to sit together on the couch. Noiz pressed against the
arm of the chair in the hopes of getting as far from Sly as possible. He didn't
much like being in such close quarters with Sly, despite missing his company
the night before. Sly had come moments from killing him, he was sure. It didn't
matter that that was what he had wanted Sly to do; it still unnerved him that
the alter had been close to capable of it. He had to resist the urge to brush
his fingers against his neck, which would have alerted Mink to something being
the matter. As it was, his choice of a turtleneck probably intrigued the
doctor.
Sly sat on the opposite end of the couch. His arms were folded and he stared
blankly at the coffee table. Mink was leaning against his desk, accessing the
pair with his soft gaze. After a few more moments, he spoke:
"Would one of you like to explain why Sly requested a room change?"
"I got bored of him," Sly said, jerking his head in Noiz's direction.
Mink glanced at Noiz as well. 
Noiz shrugged in a way that neither confirmed nor denied Sly's statement.
"Noiz, do you want Sly to no longer be your roommate?"
"Yes," Noiz said quietly. 
Sly released a sharp laugh. 
"Are you bored of him as well, or is there another reason?" 
Noiz swallowed, causing a dull ache to throb in his throat. His fingers twisted
together. 
"We get into fights," he finally said.
"Are these physical altercations?" Mink asked.
"No," Noiz said. "We just don't get along well."
Sly snorted loudly.
"Sly, do you have anything else to add?" Mink said as he glanced over at the
alter.
Sly shook his head with a small chuckle.
"You may go then; I'd like to speak to Noiz privately."
Sly got to his feet. As he walked past Noiz, he cast the other patient a leer.
Noiz grimaced and looked down at his feet. When the door closed behind Sly,
Mink crossed the room and sat on the couch beside Noiz. Noiz glanced over at
him.
"Noiz, why did you tell Theo that you enjoyed what you did with Toue?" Mink
asked.
"I--" Noiz flushed brightly and rooted his eyes on his knotted-together hands.
"I really didn't," he blurted out. "I just--I--"
"Noiz, I know you didn't mean what you said," Mink said in a reassuring voice. 
"How do you know what I said?"
"We have security cameras in the visitors' room in case there's an issue," Mink
explained.
"There aren't any in the family room, are there?" Noiz asked frantically.
"No, no, those are for private family meetings," Mink said, shaking his head.
"So, why did you say what you didn't mean?"
"Because Theo was blaming himself for what Toue had done to me," Noiz said in a
quiet voice. "I couldn't let him think this was his fault."
"It's neither his fault, nor yours," Mink said. "All the blame for Toue's
actions fall on him."
"B-but Theo was the reason Toue was doing those things to me," Noiz whispered
quietly.
"Do you resent Theo because of this?"
"No, of course not." Noiz shook his head earnestly. "I love him; he's the first
person who treated me like I was human. I wanted to protect him from Toue and
that was the only way I could. And, and I still want to protect. I don't want
him to blame himself."
"I understand," Mink said. "Thank you for telling me all of this." He gave a
small smile. "Is there anything else you want to tell me about the situation
with Sly?"
"Wh-what?" Noiz stammered. He had thought they'd laid that issue to rest.
"It seems like Sly makes you uncomfortable," Mink said. "So I thought I'd give
you this time to say anything else on your mind regarding him when he's not
here."
Noiz swallowed carefully. He didn't like the idea of talking about Sly behind
his back, and, despite what Sly had done to him, he didn't want to get the
patient in trouble. Noiz had purposefully egged him on in a moment of desperate
masochism, and to some degree the desire to die. He didn't feel that way now.
At the end of the day, it was his fault that Sly had almost choked him to
death.
"N-no," he finally said, "not really."
"Noiz, why are wearing a turtleneck today?" Mink asked in a low voice. 
"Um." Noiz cheeks flushed brightly. He glanced up at Mink out of the corner of
his eye. "I just...hickeys," he mumbled. "We, um, we hooked up once. S-sorry."
"Was it consensual?" Mink asked.
"Yes," Noiz said hurriedly. 
"Punitive measures will not be taken," Mink assured him. "You will be kept
separate from each other, however, since it is against the rules for patients
to have sexual relationships with one another. Besides hooking up, is there
anything else that happened between you two that I should know about?"
"No," Noiz said, shaking his head slowly. "We never got into, like, fights.
We'd just yell at each other."
"What is your relationship with Aoba?"
"We're just friends." Noiz blanched. This implied that he and Sly were more
than friends. "That, that is we've never hooked up."
Mink nodded and said: "Then, when Aoba is fronting you two can hang out if you
like."
"Okay," Noiz said slowly.
"Thank you for telling me all of this," Mink said. He stood up from the couch
and walked to the door.
Noiz stood and moved after him.
"We'll have group now," Mink explained.
Group had been pushed back to deal with the pressing matter of the Noiz and Sly
issue. 
Noiz nodded and the pair went into the common room. Mink had the wardens gather
the patients for group. Noiz sat in his usual seat beside where Clear always
sat, but he noted that one of the wardens pointedly led Sly to the opposite
side of the circle. Mizuki and Koujaku sat down beside him, the latter somewhat
begrudgingly. Noiz kept his eyes trained on the floor, though he felt Sly's
gaze boring holes into him.
Group took an agonizingly long time to get through. Thankfully Mink didn't
focus on either Noiz or Sly. When the doctor finally brought the hour to a
close, Noiz shot out of his chair and hastened into the common room. Clear and
Koujaku joined him at one of the tables. As they crossed the room to him, Noiz
stared past them to where Mizuki and Sly were talking quietly in the doorway.
"Noiz, do you wanna talk about what's going on?" Clear asked hesitantly as he
sat down in the chair beside Noiz's. 
Noiz shrugged indifferently.
"Is it true that Sly got moved to a different room?" Koujaku asked.
Noiz confirmed as much with a short nod.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" Clear tried again.
Noiz sighed and said: "It's not a big deal; we just don't get along well, so
Sly requested a room change."
"I thought you two were really close," Clear said.
Noiz flushed and stared down at the table. 
"Not really," he mumbled under his breath.
"What's that about us not being close, Noiz?" 
Noiz's head shot up and he looked around. Sly stood a few paces away from the
table with a leer on his face. Mizuki was gnawing on his lip and there was a
look of guilt in his eyes as if he felt responsible for Sly getting over to
Noiz's table. 
"Didn't you tell Mink that we're very close?" Sly's smirk spread as he bent
forward and laid his palms on the table.
"Fuck off, Sly," Noiz snapped.
"Sly."
The group looked around at the sound of a wardens authoritative voice. The man
was striding over to the table. He stopped a few feet away. Noiz recognized him
as the same warden who had seated Sly on the far side of the circle from him.
"You and Noiz are supposed to be separated," he said in a low voice.
"Right," Sly drawled. "Wouldn't want us fucking again." 
"Fuck off," Noiz growled. 
"Sly," the warden repeated.
Sly chuckled quietly as he turned away and allowed himself to be led away by
the warden.
Mizuki sat down slowly in the chair beside Noiz.
"Sorry, I tried to tell him not to come over here," he said.
"Doesn't matter," Noiz muttered.
"Wait, were you two hooking up?" Koujaku demanded.
"I--" Noiz bit his lip. If he lied about that here, then that might get back to
Mink, who could then suspect that something else had happened between him and
Sly. Noiz tugged at his turtleneck absentmindedly. "Yeah."
"That happens a lot here," Mizuki said, putting a reassuring hand on his arm.
"You don't have to feel embarrassed about getting caught."
"Hey."
The group looked up. A patient, whose name Noiz couldn't remember, stood by the
table. He was staring down at Noiz.
"is it true that Toue came to visit you the day that he stepped down?"
"So what if it is?" Noiz snapped, who was still in a sour mood from his
confrontation with Sly.
"I'm just curious," the patient said, raising his hands defensively. "There was
a bit of a commotion that day; that's what everyone's saying. The news is
saying he stepped down for personal issues. You his personal issue?" The
patient raised his eyebrows in a suggestive fashion.
Noiz wetted his lips tentatively. He was slowly beginning to tremble under the
small interrogation.
"Dude, fuck off," Koujaku snapped as he stood up. "That isn't your fucking
business."
"Hey, if one of the patients here was fucking around with the director, it
kinda is everyone's business," the patient shot back. "He could be getting
special treatment or some shit.
"What the fuck kind of special treatment could you get in a psych ward?"
Koujaku snapped. "Extra meds? How nice; you could have a cushy trip while the
rest of us are stuck in reality."
"Look I was just curious," the boy said. "It's good to know if there's some
sort of whore on the floor to keep away from him."
"Dude," Mizuki hissed as he glanced quickly at Noiz. 
Noiz had completely shut down by now. He was staring blankly at the table in
front of him. He couldn't believe this conversation was happening mere moments
after he had confessed that he had slept with Sly. Now Mizuki, Clear, and
Koujaku would definitely think he was a slut.
"Yo, back the fuck off." Koujaku grabbed the boy's shoulder and shoved him away
from the table. "You're fucking talking about statutory rape there, dip shit.
That's fucked up."
The patient was interrupted by an approaching warden. The warden asked if there
was some sort of problem. The patient only shrugged and left the group. Koujaku
slowly sank back in his chair. 
"You okay, Noiz?" Clear asked as he rested his hand on Noiz's forearm.
"Mm-hm," Noiz said. 
"Sorry," Koujaku muttered as he picked up his cards. "I didn't mean to freak
out like that."
"It's okay," Mizuki said. "That guy was being a total dick. I can't believe he
said that shit about Noiz's stepdad."
"Thanks, Koujaku," Noiz whispered quietly. "For sticking up for me."
"Oh, it's no big deal," Koujaku said, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Does anyone want to play cards?" Clear asked in a quiet voice. His shoulders,
which were hunched in on himself, played testament to how uncomfortable he felt
about the conversation around him.
"Sure," Mizuki said with a forcibly cheerful edge to his voice.
Noiz spent the rest of the day with the trio. Mizuki felt bad about leaving Sly
on his own, but he was also a touch annoyed that Sly had antagonized Noiz and
decided to 'let him sulk alone like a baby.' Sly appeared to be doing just
that, since he didn't leave his perch in a window sill and his sole activity
for the day seemed to be glowering out the window. 
When the day drew to a close, Noiz was again retreated to his room alone. He
was once again bombarded by a feeling of loneliness when he curled up in bed.
Even if things were on edge between him and Sly, he missed having someone else
in the room. He even would have taken Aoba's presence, even though he didn't
like the host as much as his alter. Noiz sighed quietly and rubbed his nose. He
couldn't quite fathom how he and Sly would manage to get back on good terms
since they weren't permitted from seeing each other now. 
Chapter End Notes
     an update at last! hope people like it ~
***** Chapter 16 *****
Chapter Notes
     i've had this written for some time, but i kept wanting to add more
     bc it's on the shorter end of things. finally i just decided to post
     it so that y'all could have another update! thank you so much for
     those who have stuck with this story!!
Aoba paced frantically around his room. Mink had made short work of moving
Noiz’s things out of their room. Aoba was grateful that Mink hadn’t made him
change rooms. He had grown rather fond of this room since he’d lived in it for
the last six years. Considering this, it would have made little to no sense for
Mink to move him.
Aoba released a grating sigh and raked his hands through his hair. He didn’t
know what Sly’s beef with Noiz was. All he knew was that Sly would have killed
Noiz if Aoba hadn’t intervened. The thought terrified him, not only because he
never would have thought Sly capable of such a thing, but also because Sly, as
the alter had said time and time again, existed solely to protect Aoba. The
thought that Sly might consider Noiz a threat to Aoba’s safety unnerved him to
no end.
He couldn’t confront the alter directly with this. Before, there had been some
minimal communication between them, but ever since Sei’s return, Aoba had been
putting up a wall between him and Sly, and it would seem that Sly was returning
the favor.
Aoba gnawed on his thumb knuckle. The thought of his twin brother always set
him on edge. Seeing his face after six years was enough to send jagged shivers
down his spine, and threaten a complete breakdown. He had kept his shit
relatively together when he had confronted Noiz about his twin. Now, however,
alone as he was, he was starting to fall apart at the seams. A dull throbbing
in the back of his skull told him that Sly was doing his utmost to seize
control.
Aoba snarled. He spun toward the wall and slammed his fist against the hard
surface.
Did you fucking know?Aoba screamed inside his head.
If Sly had known about Sei…if he had known and kept this from Aoba…Aoba wasn’t
sure if he could forgive him.
Aoba’s fist snaked back and he slammed it against the wall once again. Pain
lanced up his arm. His knuckles throbbed. He pounded his fist against the wall.
Blood smeared against the white surface.
Enough, you idiot!Sly yelled.
 
Noiz walked slowly down the hall toward his new room. He had convinced the
nurse on duty to let him go to his room to read a book. Noiz had never been one
for pursuing literature; he was honestly just going to take a nap.
A fervent thumping made him glance around in confusion. The sound was emanating
from the room he had shared with Aoba and Sly. Noiz glanced hurriedly up and
down the hallway. There were no nurses present. Should he go get one?
The thumping came to a sudden halt. Noiz moved toward the door and leaned
forward, straining to hear. What sounded like muffled sobbing seeped past the
door.
Before Noiz knew what he was doing, his hand flew out and he yanked the door
open. He slipped inside and closed the door behind him. He stared around the
room. His former roommate—he couldn’t be sure which personality was in control
right now—was hunkered down in front of the far wall. His arm was cradled
against his chest. Above him on the wall was a smear of blood.
“Hey, are you okay?” Noiz asked as he hurried across the room. He dropped his
knees and grabbed the blue-haired boy’s shoulder.
Vibrant yellow eyes flickered up to meet his gaze. Sly snuffled quietly. Tears
dripped down his splotchy cheeks. Noiz glanced down at his hand and grimaced.
The back of his hand was covered in blood. His knuckles were split and leaking
the liquid lethargically.
“Sly, what happened?” Noiz asked gently. His hand remained stiffly on Sly’s
shoulder; he wasn’t sure what to do with it.
Sly released a small whimper and slumped against Noiz. He nestled his face
against the boy’s shoulder. Noiz stared at him with wide eyes.
“Sly?”
“I-it’s fine now,” Sly whispered in a hoarse voice. “It’s fine. Aoba, he…” Sly
shook his head.
“Did Aoba do this?” Noiz asked. He reached down and carefully took Sly’s
fingertips between his. He raised the bloodied hand and peered down at it.
“Yeah, he was upset.” Sly laughed ruefully. “He—“ Sly broke off with a shaky
breath. He drew in a long breath and suddenly a harsh sob wracked his body. “He
knows,” he wailed. “He knows that I was hiding Sei from him. I don’t know what
to do; what am I suppose to do? I just wanted to keep him safe. I just—“ Sly
sobbed loudly. He fell into Noiz’s lap. His arm wrapped around Noiz’s waist;
his injured hand gripped Noiz’s pants. He sobbed pitifully.
Noiz’s mouth worked wordlessly. Finally, he closed it with a shake of his head.
He didn’t know what to say, and he didn’t want to risk saying the wrong thing.
He reached out his hand slowly. Maybe Sly didn’t need him to say anything.
Maybe he just needed to cry.
Noiz’s hand nestled in Sly’s soft blue locks. He stroked the crown of the boy’s
head gently. Sly’s body, which had been wracked with sobs, stilled under the
soft touch. He whimpered quietly and pushed his face against Noiz’s thigh. His
sobs slowly died down.
“Sly?” Noiz asked. “Should you talk to Mink about this?”
“Mm.” Sly shifted slightly in his lap.
“W-well, whatever you choose, I’ll be here for you,” Noiz said hesitantly.
“Even though your asshole.” He made the jab gently and Sly chuckled quietly.
“And tried to strangle you?” he added.
“That was my fault,” Noiz murmured. “I, I wanted you to do that. I said that
stuff so you would. I’m sorry.”
“Me too,” Sly said in a thick voice. “‘m sorry.” He turned his head to the
side, pressing his cheek against Noiz’s thigh. His eyes drifted shut.
Noiz continued to stroke his hair. Sly’s breathing was soft, steady; he’d
fallen asleep. Noiz glanced up at the blood-smeared wall. He needed to get Sly
help for his hand, but he was also worried about leaving him alone.
He was saved from making the difficult decision when a soft knock sounded on
the door and it opened. The nurse who had let Noiz go read poked his head into
the room.
“Noiz?” he said in surprise.
“Um, could I have some help?” Noiz asked.
“What’s wrong?” the nurse said as he hastened into the room. He knelt down
beside Sly.
“I don’t know. I think Aoba punched the wall,” Noiz said. “Sly was crying and
then he fell asleep. I didn’t know what to do.”
“Ask the nurse at the front desk to fetch me a first aide kit,” the nurse said.
“We’ll handle it from here.”
Noiz nodded.
The nurse carefully lifted Sly out of his lap. Noiz watched as he carried him
to his bed and placed him on the bed.
“Now, Noiz,” the nurse said, “and will you see if Mink is available?”
“Yes, sorry.” Noiz pushed himself to his feet and hurried out of the room. He
went to the front desk and told the nurse on duty there that a first aide kit
was needed in Sly and Aoba’s room.
The nurse snatched the requested item from a drawer in the desk and walked
quickly to the room. Noiz then went to Mink’s office. When he reached the door,
he knocked lightly.
“Come in,” Mink called from beyond the door.
Noiz pushed the door open carefully and peeked inside. Mink was sitting behind
his desk, upon which he had a book propped. He looked up from the book.
“Noiz, what is it?” he asked.
“Um, Sly and Aoba got hurt,” Noiz explained.
Mink frowned.
“Aoba punched the wall a bunch, I think,” Noiz said. “I, I found them. I know
I’m not supposed to…”
“That’s alright, Noiz.” Mink stood up and walked around his desk. “Is there a
nurse with him now?”
“Yes, two,” Noiz said, “and a first aide kit.”
“Good, I’ll see to the rest. You should back to the common room.”
“Okay,” Noiz said quietly.
Mink strode across the room. Noiz bit his lip as he turned around and walked
slowly of the room. His thoughts were a jumbled mess. Mink moved passed him and
hurried to Aoba and Sly’s room. Noiz walked lethargically to the common room.
Mizuki, Kojaku, and Clear were sitting around the coffee table, where he had
left them, playing cards.
“Noiz, you’re back,” Mizuki said cheerfully.
Noiz nodded and sat down next to Koujaku. Koujaku glanced over at him as he
played what he claimed were a pair of tens.
“Noiz, what’s up?” he asked.
Noiz shook his head. What had happened between Aoba and Sly was their business;
he didn’t have the right to tell anyone else about what had happened.
End Notes
     as with any of my writing it's off to a shaky start. it's hard to get
     into a groove. i hope it was still enjoyable. this story is going to
     deal with some dark elements so be prepared.
     content warnings include: cutting, suicidal ideations, and severe
     depression. please be aware of this. i will put cws at the beginning
     of each chapter when necessary
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