Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/2918999. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Transformers_-_All_Media_Types, Transformers:_Prime Relationship: Bumblebee/Optimus_Prime, Bumblebee/Smokescreen Character: Bumblebee_(Transformers), Optimus_Prime, Ratchet_(Transformers), Rafael "Raf"_Esquivel Additional Tags: Post-Traumatic_Stress_Disorder_-_PTSD, Implied/Referenced_Torture, Other Additional_Tags_to_Be_Added, Age_Regression/De-Aging, Slow_To_Update Series: Part 2 of Multiverses_and_other_disasters. Stats: Published: 2014-12-29 Completed: 2016-04-01 Chapters: 6/6 Words: 2977 ****** Coming back home ****** by pain_and_panic Summary When finally Bee gets his bearings, he looks apologetic and dejected. / Smokey, I know that wasn't you but him, but you looks like him and I'm sorry, I cannot let you come closer, I'm sorry.../ "What the other me did to you?" /You don't wanna know/ Notes As usual, I own nothing, transformers belong to Hasbro /Bla/ Bee speak "Bla" everyone else speak (Bla) Thought ***** Chapter 1 ***** They didn't expect the status of the other Bumblebee, their Bumblebee, when he stepped from the bridge, the scars and the older optics. "Why it's take so long?" "Bee, it was just 37 days" "On this side, maybe, there was 37 years for me." _____ All Arcee wants is hug Bumblebee and never lets him go... But she understands that now she can just scared him more, so she just waits... Bee was there when she grieved for Cliffjumper, she will be there when he will grieves for himself. __________ Smokescreens is too impulsive to analyse the situation, the only thing in his processor is how he miss his friend. He just jumps in and hugs the yellow mech. __________ When Smokscreen touches him, Bee's mind ends up again in the dungeon under Iacon City, and he cannot restrains the cry /no, please, stop, not again.... No, no, please, please, no/ __________ That isn't the first soldier with PTSD he'd ever seen, so Ratchet is ready and injects Bee with a light sedative __________ When finally Bee gets his bearings, he looks apologetic and dejected. / Smokey, I know that wasn't you but him, but you looks like him and I'm sorry, I cannot let you come closer, I'm sorry.../ "What the other me did to you?" /You don't wanna know/ ___________ "Bumblebee..." /Optimus, please leave, I understand you were doing your best, but you left me in that dimension YEARS when you had promised me that it was going to take only a month... And you was with the other me, and he got your love, and you always said that we cannot be lovers because of the war, and Megatron and my age and now you accept HIS love, so maybe the problem was me, my paint job, my voicebox, and I should hate you for abandon me, for love him, but I still love you, and for this I hate myself and.../ "Hush, my little scout, breath... Yes, this way, in ... And out.... shh, everything will be fine, you are at home now... I'm sorry, Bumblebee, so sorry for leave you behind" __________ Ratchet watch Optimus hugs Bee, their little yellow Bee. Ratchet's spark cringes, he can see the scars on the scout's plates, he recognise those as tortures signs. They couldn't save Bee in Tyger Pax, and they just fail him again, how they can aspire to his forgiveness? __________ ***** Chapter 2 ***** Smokescreen is sure he is going to end up mad. His best friend, his little, heroic Bee is having another nightmare. His Bee is screaming and crying , and even if his spark cringes for running to him, now he understands that his sight will only get thing worst for the yellow, broken bot. He would like to switch off his audio receptor, or at least covers them with his hands, but that doesn’t seems fair in respect of Bee. Smokescreen sighs and waits for someone to nurse Bee down. ______ Ratchet is the only one Bee is accepting during his night terrors. The old mech hugs the bot he consider a son, and, even if he hasn't done anything like that in ages, he prays Primus to help Bee in this moment. It’s like he remembers: most of the prayers still unheard. ______ Raf have to recognize that Miko idea could works, even if he is a little bit jealous that this idea didn’t come from him. He spent all his time since Bee came back studying Psychoanalysis textbooks and PTSD manuals, and answer came from Miko. Doesn’t matter, although, because if it works, Bee his going to start to getting better. ______ Smokescreen loves Miko idea, and the two of them rush out as soon as possible to get everything done. ______ Unlike Miko, Raf is pretty aware that healing will take a very long time. Sometimes he wonder if he will take longer than an human life. ______ When Smokescreen comes back, he rushes in the com. room and waits patiently (or as patiently as you can if you are Smokescreen) for Bee to notice him. ______ Smokescreen learnt this weeks that he cannot surprise Bee, unless he wanna give him a panic attack, or a full flashback. ______ He don’t wanna give Bee a panic attack, or a full flashback, last time he thought his spark was going to implode for the whimpering, whining sounds that came from Bee damaged voice box. ______ Bee perceives Smokescreen approach, and he braces himself. When he turns to front the other mech, to understand if he can keeps his feeling under control or if he have to run away to avoid a panic attack (or something more embarrassing), he cannot believe at his optics. He takes couple of insecure steps, and rise one arm to touch Smokescreen faceplate. /you… you change your paint job/ he manages to whisper /do you did it for me?/ ______ Smokescreen should be upset with the yellow mech, of course he did it for him! But again, the big baby blu optics are almost teary, and all Smokescreen can do is take Bee hand, the one that still hovering on his cheek without really touching him, in his own, and turn his head to lies a kiss on the palm “Of course, I will do everything to help you” ______ For a moment Bee feels like he can at least trusts his friend to be there for him. a moment after, an unexpected sound, like an explosion, send him back into the arms of the other Smokescreen, the cruel, crazy dictator of the other universe. Bee screams till the darkness wraps him in a safe bundle. ______ Ratchet looks at the yellow, fainted mech in Smokescreen’s arms, and at Miko, who provoked that noise setting her guitar and that now looks really guilty for startling Bee, and back to the newbie new paint job. He sighs, takes the younger mech from Smokescreen's arms and brings him on a berth in the medbay. Tomorrow he will yell to the other two, but by now he would just guarantee Bee as much rest as he can. ***** Chapter 3 ***** Chapter Notes I'm still alive, and apparently I find again the muse for this fiction (you can hide little one, but my mind is not so big!) I cannot guarantee regular updates, but I will do my best to keep going. /Sometimes my dreams are so vivid that I’m not sure what’s real and what’s dream I mean, sometimes, it feels like this is the dream, like this, you, Arcee, Optimus, all this base, is all in my mind and my body, my body is still chained under Velum Prime's dungeon. Sometimes, i cannot tell if I trust myself… Raf, I’m scared, Am I loosing my mind?/ ____ Sometime Raf wishes to be taller than the Autobot - maybe not taller than Optimus, but at least as tall as Smokescreen - just to be able to hug Bee, and hold him safe, and protect him from his own fears. “Bee… I… We will help you, you're safe now… I swear, we are real, and you are safe” ____ Smokescreen knows he shouldn’t snoop around, but to be honest he was trying to localize Bee to avoid to bump on him and surprise him. Or scare him. Apparently is the only thing he’s able to do nowadays. He wishes he could go in the other dimension and kick his own ass. Well, the ass of his alter ego, the crazy Prime. But again, that will not help Bee, it will not undo what the other one did. He wishes he could go back in time and save Bee, but they haven’t a time machine. He wishes he could erase or wipe Bee memories, or at least make them less terrifying. But they haven’t a cortical psychic patch equipment. He wishes he could develop a time machine… Hey wait a minute, for sure find the equipments is easier than develop a time machine! ___ He wishes Ratchet would be here, but he and Optimus crossed the ground bridge early this morning, the only indication was “Arcee is in charge”, and no indication on how long they will be away. ____ He wishes he would be patient enough to wait for them to come back, but this could help Bumblebee! He tries to be patient, to wait, but he could fix Bee! ____ Miko is not really patient in herself, and so cannot deal with a fidgety Smokescreen. ____ Smokescreen is not patient, so when Miko asks what put his metallic panties in torsion, and after she explains him what that means, he spill the legumes, or let the feline out of the bag (he still working on understanding and using those ridiculous expressions, but Bee laughed every time he got something wrong, so cannot bother to fix his mistakes). Before he realize what’s happening, he is on the Nemesis with Miko, in an high secret, high Ratch-will-disassemble-him-if-he-finds-out mission. ___ Arcee knew she shouldn’t had left those idiots by themselves, even if only for a short patrol. She should know better. She just hope that what she’s looking at is not a cortical psychic patch between Bee and Smokescreen. Because if Smokescreen is thinking he will screws with her little brother mind, he should ponder over it better. ***** Chapter 4 ***** He really believed that "that" was a good idea, even if the older human, Jack, had suggested to wait for an adult, like ratchet, to come back, before they started the procedure. _____ He really believed that "that" was a good idea, even if the younger human, Raf, said that the machine looked different from the other one Megatron used to bring himself back. _____ He really believed that "that" was a good idea, and he also got the support from the female human, Miko. Mmm, ok, maybe that was supposed to put him in alert, but she'd been right about the new paint job! _____ He really believed that "that" was a good idea, but now Arcee is yelling at him. A very angry, very tall Arcee. When did she became taller than him? _____ So, apparently Raf was right, the machine wasn't a cortex apparatus, and he got himself de-aged. Not such a good idea, if you ask him about "that" now. _____ He looks young, not at his third frame yet, and he has more protoform than proper armor on all his body. He has to suppress a shiver to the idea of how vulnerable he is by now. _____ He is upset now, and deceived, because "that" was suppose to be a good idea to help Bee, and instead now Smokescreen is too young to help anyone, including himself. And suddenly a little black, mechanical hand appear on his forearm, and huge, innocent blue optics look at him: "Smokey, what happened to us?" ______ The looks on the young Bee when realise that he just used his real voice, even if it sounds younger than how he remember it, instead of the chirp and twit that he uses nowadays, changes again Smokescreen mind : maybe "that" was a good idea, after all... ______ Bee is amazed, he got is voice back, HE GOT IS VOICE BACK! And his body is not aching anymore. He cannot feel the pain that had became a constant reminder of what happened in the other universe. The thought of being so small, so tiny, with so much protoform exposed, should scare him, but for the first time in ages he feels like himself. _____ Bee looks around himself... Arcee looks like she cannot decide if strangle Smokescreen now or wait and hugs Bee before that. The three young humans look scared from the new development, but also curious about Bee and Smokey new forms. And Smokescreen... He looks confused, barely older than Bee but still couple of feet taller than him, and also scared and sad, if the drop of his shoulder is any indication... And Bee for the first time since he step in the ground bridge last time, Bee sees his friend, and not only the ghost of the tyrant he'd gotten tortured by... And for the first time since the last time the came back, he voluntary hugs his friend, his Smokey. _____   Now Smokescreen his sure: that" was definitely a good idea! ***** Chapter 5 ***** Chapter Notes Yes! I'm still alive! And this fiction still alive! Bee still having his nightmares, but now that Smokescreen is not scaring anymore, they share the same berth and more often than not the presence of his friend is enough to chase away the bad memories. _____ Somedays that's not enough, and Bee spend the day laying on the bed, lost in his memories. _____ Somedays he is fine, and Smokescreen and Bee play video games with the human children all day long. _____ Some days Bulkhead takes all the younglings, human and cybertronian out in the desert, or on the seaside, and Bee believes he can be fine again. They cannot transform yet, and that means no races, but some days that's bearable. _____ Somedays a veicon interrupt their escape, and that send back Bee in his memories, and usually takes Raf hours to coax him out of his shell. _____ Somedays Miko convinces Bee to sing, and Smokescreen believes he is in the Well because hearing Bee is too beautiful to be real. _____ Somedays Smokescreen manage to make Bee smile, and the day that for the first time he find the courage of kissing the yellow bot is the best day of his life. _____ If only Bee could stop to call Optimus name when he's asleep... _____ Somedays Smokescreen is happy with this disaster of the deaging thing, then the veicons show up and he cannot protect his Bee, and he wonder is the effect of the machine could be inverted. They agreed they are waiting for Ratchet before trying anything. _____ Somedays Bee believes that Primus gave him a second possibility for a childhood and for love. _____ Then, after a month of absence, Ratchet and Optimus Prime come back. ***** Chapter 6 ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes After a month of absence, Ratchet and Optimus Prime come back, and Smokescreen knows that this way he will never finish to make Bee forgive him. ______ Bumblebee is both enthusiastic and confused from the suddenly return of his first love, he missed him but now he is falling for the young Smokescreen. ______ Then a ground bridge opens just between Bee and his family, and all Bee can feel is the terror, as the Older Smokescreen, Velum Prime, steps out of the bridge and, grabbing his arm, he drags the yellow bot back in the other reality and back to the nightmares. _____ Then the younger Smokescreen jumps in the bridge just before it close. _____ And then Smokey run between the long legs of his older self, and wraps himself tightly around his yellow, terrified friend. _____ To Bee big surprise, and apparently for pure force of willing, the younger Smokescreen grow back to his previous, real age. _____ To Smokescreen big confusion, he still hold in his arms a younger, scared Bumblebee. He kisses his forehead, then he turns to face and fight his older self. _____ To both their dismay, Smokey older self apparently his stronger and better trained than him. _____ He's going to succumb, but the worst part is knowing that when he will, the little, whimpering bot behind him will have to face this monster again. _____ Smokescreen would like to say that what saved them were his abilities, but actually to save his sorry aft is the ground bridge that opened and let Optimus and Ratchet on the scene. _____ And even with them here, it took them long enough to defeat him, long enough that Bee, now grow up as well, shake off his fear, and actively partakes the fight, landing the final blow on his own personal nightmare. ____ Seems like that move drains all Bee residual energy, and Smokey has to grab him when the yellow one's legs give up. _____ "You saved me" Bee whisper reverently. _____ Smokescreen would like to answer that Bee saved himself, or maybe just to kiss him, but Optimus reset his vocalizer. "Are you ready to go home now, my scout?" He asks softly. _____ At the nod from Bee, the ground bridge opens. They step in, and ... _____ And they woke up, on the medbay berths. _____ /what happened?/ Bumblebee asks, only to shiver when he realize that his voice is gone, again. _____ "You and Smokey slept for a week" Raf is fast to explain, "you were stuck on the cortical patch and we couldn't wake you up, Optimus and Ratchet have to come and rescue you!" ____ Rafael cringes when his guardian looks up, optics filled with defeat and sadness /but... How? ... Why? nothing of that was true?/ _____ "We believes that your mind made Smokescreen looks less threatening as possible, and Smokescreen's mind reaction was to make you the same to be able to keep you close and protect you" Ratchet explain as a matter of fact. _____ Bulkhead cringes at the matter of fact tone, he knows Ratchet cares, but he sounded so harsh with the little scout! _____ Arcee cringes as well, but she also speak up before Ratchet could make more damage "it was real, you create new, good memories, you should be glad for them" ____ Raf scoffs, how is this any better? ____ Raf is going to say just that, when the distressed beeps of his guardian interrupt him /who creates the other Smokescreen? Was it mine or one of you?/ _____ "We don't know, we are just glad you fought your demons and come back to us" Optimus says. ____ Jack is not usually able to understand Bee, but he is pretty sure that the scout answer to the last Prime statement wasn't something nice. ____ But then again, maybe Prime is right, because after all this, the nightmares tames and for the next couple of months Bee sleeps better. _____ At least until the next disaster. Chapter End Notes Wow, I didn't believe I was going to finish it! Well, at least till the next chapter for the series, that I could maybe decide to write... I guess writing "when in another world..." inspired me more than I thought! Thank you all for following! Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!