Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/12277170.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Yuri!!!_on_Ice_(Anime)
  Relationship:
      Otabek_Altin/Jean-Jacques_Leroy
  Character:
      Jean-Jacques_Leroy, Otabek_Altin
  Additional Tags:
      Angst, bipolar_JJ, cracky_angst_(how_is_that_even_possible_idk), Smut,
      Blasphemous, Jjbek, Underage_Sex, Mania
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-10-05 Words: 2217
****** Come in the Name of Jesus, Amen ******
by annabeth
Summary
     "I just got the best news of my life!" JJ says, careening into the
     bedroom and catching himself from falling by crashing into Otabek.
Notes
     So, Blownwish and I had this conversation over Tumblr about a
     particular religious song I listened to today, and this was born. I
     don't wanna give too much away, but there's a line in here that's
     almost directly from Blownwish, I hope she doesn't mind ♥
     I'm going to Hell.
     (Also gifting this to Jen. She knows why.)
See the end of the work for more notes
"I just got the best news of my life!" JJ says, careening into the bedroom and
catching himself from falling by crashing into Otabek. Otabek's arms come up
and around to steady him, just like JJ knew they would. He ducks his head down
to press his sweaty forehead against Otabek's bare shoulder. Beks is wearing a
thin, soft cotton t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off. JJ has never found him
more beautiful, but he knows that Beks gets more and more gorgeous in his eyes
every time he stops for even a second to really take him in.
"What is it, Jean?" Beks asks in his soft, careful voice. That's another thing
he loves about Beks! No matter how excited JJ gets, Beks is even-keeled. It's
refreshing. His other rink mates and so called "friends" used to mock him when
he got excited.
"I got a new sponsorship!" JJ cries. "It's enough money to help Maman and Papa
take care of the little ones. Ever since Maman got pregnant again, Papa has
been worried, and billeting you for skating hasn't been easy—wait, I'm sorry!"
JJ presses his nose harder into Beks's shoulder.
"Try to calm down," Beks says, his hand brushing against the shaved part of
JJ's undercut. They got them together—him and Beks, like best friends! "I'm not
offended, Jean."
"I didn't mean it that way anyway; of course your parents paid a coaching fee
and it helps, but this new sponsorship—" JJ can't even catch his breath he's
talking so fast. He knows he's talking too fast, but Beks never tells him to
slow down. Not the way everyone else does.
"Gosh, I love you, Beks," JJ says, whipping his head up and turning towards
Otabek. He plasters his lips to Otabek's, and Beks sighs against his mouth
before pushing him back.
"We have practice in ten minutes," Beks reminds him gently. "Deep breaths,
Jean. It's gonna be okay."
But why does he need to be told that?
"Everything's great, Beks!" he yells, letting go of him and twirling around the
room, pirouettes that are leftover from ballet classes when he was younger.
"I'm gonna market my JJ style on a grand stage, you watch, Beks. I'll be
amazing and the money will flood in and Maman won't worry about the new baby
anymore and Papa won't be upset with me for not practicing hard enough and my
little brothers and sisters won't fight each other over food and… and…" he
stops to breathe. He's lightheaded.
He drops to the floor like a puppet with its strings cut, suddenly exhausted.
Beks gets down on one knee next to him and shoves his hair out of his eyes.
"Did you take them this morning, Jean?" he asks quietly. JJ dons his most
guileless smile.
"Of course I did," he says, but it's a lie. The medicine makes him feel
sluggish, like his brain has been weighted down with stones instead of floating
like a balloon, that glorious high he gets, the one that helps him figure out
what jumps he wants, what choreography to use, how to talk to his Papa so that
his JJ style is perfect.
"You wouldn't lie to me, would you, Jean?" Beks asks, and he's probing JJ's
eyes with his own razor sharp gaze. "I don't like it when you lie."
"It's a sin to lie," JJ responds, grinning up at him. "I'm no sinner."
"You kissed me five minutes ago," Beks reminds him. "I thought your Bible says
no relations between men."
"No, see, it's okay. The Bible was constantly being copied over by monks,
right? And they used to add notes in the margins, and clarify things, and
sometimes they would add their own bias, so you see, it's really okay, because
I don't think that part is real. So I can kiss you. And I could—Beks, do you
not want me? Please say you want me. I love you so much, I need you so much, I
have to have—" he catches his breath again, and there's honey glimmering in
those deep brown eyes. A lightness that makes his head feel even lighter. "I
knew it! You love me back, don't you, Beks? Go tell my papa that I'm not
feeling well, my ankle twinged or something, and you wanna stay and keep an eye
on me, and then—"
"I don't know if that's a good idea."
JJ has to swallow around rocks in his throat to get the word out, but he
manages.
"Don't you want to f-fuck me, Beks? I want to. I mean, to you. I mean I want
to… you know, with you. Please? I'll wait right here. Well, maybe I'll get in
the bed first. Do you want me to take everything off? Or just my shirt and
pants? I'm so excited, Beks, about this new sponsorship, I absolutely need— I
think I could come like a firecracker. You kissed me before. I remember. I
wasn't all the way asleep yet. I thought you liked me. You do like me, don't
you? Do you love me, Beks?"
"I'll come right back," Beks says, and hauls JJ to his feet. "You can do what
you want. We'll see how it goes."
As soon as Otabek leaves the room, JJ is a flurry of activity, ripping his JJ
style shirt over his head and tearing his track pants off. He runs over to his
full-length mirror, examining his body, frowning at the huge bruise on his ribs
where he fell trying to land a quad sal. He's never had so much trouble with it
as he did yesterday, but it's okay, Otabek is likely to have similar bruises—he
sucks in his stomach, but that's stupid, right? He's an athlete, his abs are
firm even if it's not a perfect six-pack, and his biceps aren't quite as big as
Otabek's, but he thinks Otabek is just naturally of a stockier build, even
though he's younger and shorter…
After another moment of heated indecision, JJ rolls his briefs down, kicking
them off. His cock is nice, right? Will Beks like it? Will Beks like him? Will
he even enjoy it—crap, JJ didn't even consider that. What if Beks never messed
around with a boy before? JJ has, because doesn't everyone—? And besides, Izzy
won't do anything before marriage, and JJ understands he can't have intercourse
with a girl before he marries her—Izzy, of course—but this totally doesn't
count. He thinks.
By the time Beks gets back to JJ's bedroom, that he's been sharing with JJ for
months now, JJ is lying back on the bed, trying to figure out what to do with
his arms and legs. Cross his feet at the ankles? Spread them? Put his hands by
his sides…?
"Jean," Beks says in a whip-crack tone. It gets him to stop fidgeting and stare
up at Beks. "Just… relax. You don't have to be perfect."
"I do—"
"No. I don't care, Jean. I like you for you."
"Do you really?" JJ feels his brain stutter to a stop. All thoughts come to a
standstill and he's just staring at Beks, who very calmly and quietly removes
his jeans, then his t-shirt.
"You gonna freak out if I take my boxers off?" Beks asks. His eyes are
glittering. JJ gulps and glances down, so quickly, then back up to Beks's face.
But even that incredibly brief look is enough to know that Beks is getting
hard.
"Is that for me? Beks, are you hard because of me? Do you think I'm hot? I
think I'm—I mean, I don't think I'm hot, like that, but I always thought I was
kind of nice to look at, and I mean, shoot, my dick—my dick is getting hard
too, for you, Beks, always for you; I fall asleep at night and I dream, and
when I wake up, my morning wood is like, twice as achy as usual, and it's
because you're so damn hot, and I'm not supposed to curse—I forgot—do you mind?
And—"
"Jean. Shh. I'm gonna take my underwear off. Then I'm gonna get in bed with
you. And you're just gonna be quiet, okay? No rambling."
JJ nods so hard he thinks his head might roll off his neck. He can't stop
himself from moving his gaze down, like a laser, onto Beks's groin as he pushes
his underwear down. His dick pops out of the waistband and bobs against his
belly, and it's… bigger than JJ expected. He's not sure what he expected,
actually, but somehow the beauty of Beks naked takes his breath away, and
causes his thoughts to turn to molasses again. It seems like maybe being quiet
won't be so difficult.
By the time Beks climbs onto the bed, JJ is bursting to say something, but he
wants to make Beks happy, to keep him there, so he doesn't leave—not like
everyone else—so he literally bites his tongue to keep words behind his teeth.
The warm hand on his hip makes him gasp. The slow, measured movement sideways
until Beks is lightly resting his palm over JJ's hard-on makes him whimper.
When Beks curls his fingers around it just a little, JJ moans and then bites
his lip this time.
"You can be noisy," Beks tells him, "just don't talk so much." His fingers
encircle his dick completely and—oh, mercy, it's never felt like this before!
It's too much, JJ's already too close and Beks has barely touched him…
Fumbling, like his hands don't even belong to him, he gets his grasp on that
beautiful, flushed perfect cock, and Beks inhales rapidly, pushing against JJ's
palm. They start to move their hands slowly, and it seems impossible, but
before too long the rhythm echoes JJ's heartbeat and matches Beks's rhythm in
perfect harmony.
When Beks speeds up his hand, JJ cries out a little, and he can feel his balls
tight against his body, and his dick swells, and Beks slows his ministrations.
He strokes gently, thumb passing over the head of JJ's cock and rubbing precome
into it, and JJ opens his mouth—
Beks cuts off the flood of words with a kiss, open-mouthed, tongue soft against
the soft tissue of JJ's mouth.
When he lets JJ breathe, JJ's eyes are wide and his body is balanced on a
tightrope wire, and he's not sure which side he's gonna fall down on. Will it
be the right side? Or will the shame of knowing what his papa would think—no,
he's not gonna think about that—
"W-wait!" he yelps, and Beks stops his hand altogether. "Before we come… Beks,
God gave us this precious gift, the ability to orgasm, and you… you'll thank
him for it when you do, right?"
All he gets in reply is a raised eyebrow. JJ pulls his hand back.
"Do it," he says, "I'll show you. I'll show you what to say. For me? Please?
You'll say it for me, won't you? Because I don't wanna make Jesus angry?"
Beks shakes his head, but he smiles—just barely a twitch of the lips—and his
hand speeds up again.
Just as JJ is going to lose it, his body straining, and he's—shit, he's there,
past the point of no return, no amount of edging could keep him from coming,
and he opens his mouth and it comes out in a gasped whisper:
"Praise Jesus, we are only allowed to come in his name—" jizz floats on the air
and lands with a wet sound against his bare belly.
Unfortunately, Beks isn't coming too. He's just staring, wide-eyed, at JJ.
"Seriously, Jean?" he asks, and JJ shrugs sheepishly.
"One of the altar boys taught me," he explains uneasily. "Are you gonna come,
too?" he asks, but Beks carefully removes JJ's hand and rolls to the side, flat
on his back on the bed.
"We need to work on your dirty talk," Beks says in a slightly breathless tone.
"I can't dirty talk, Beks! I'm Catholic!"
"You didn't take your pills today," Beks says evenly. "You lied."
"Don't be angry—"
"It's for your own good," Beks tells him, turning his head to meet JJ's eyes.
"Don't you even hear yourself?"
JJ spreads the come around on his belly. It's still warm.
"I love you, Beks—"
"Listen, Jean, I like you a lot. I really do. But I don't love you. Not y—"
But all JJ hears is I don't love you. He scrambles off the bed, tears suddenly
running down his cheeks, practically screaming as he says,
"Get out! Get out, get out, out out out!"
Otabek grabs a robe and leaves the room.
JJ collapses to the floor and cries; it feels like he's dying. Without Beks…
Yeah, he's gonna die without Beks. But he can't—no, he can't be around him
anymore. He's going to tell his Maman to send Otabek away, that he doesn't
belong in their training program anymore.
Decision made, he allows himself to fall bonelessly to the side, landing on his
face hard enough to hurt, and he doesn't know how long he lies there and cries.
Just that it hurts so fucking bad.
                                     end.
End Notes
     Come find me (helm-puppet-trash) on Tumblr!
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