Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/1004728. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/ Non-Con, Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Glee Relationship: Kurt_Hummel/Sebastian_Smythe Character: Kurt_Hummel, Sebastian_Smythe Stats: Published: 2013-10-15 Updated: 2014-04-19 Chapters: 29/? Words: 16051 ****** Coffeeshop Drabbles ****** by KurtbastianJust Summary A Collection Of Drabbles, none interconnected but ALL of them kurtbastian! ***** A Coffeeshop Drabble ***** A Coffeeshop Drabble   Kurt pushed the coffee cup back and forth on the counter, eyes sliding side to side, following the porcelain. “Morning Kurt.” Kurt smiled at the voice and looked up.   “Good morning, Sebastian.” He said, grabbing a new cup and filling it with Sebastian’s normal morning coffee with a shot of courvoisie. He handed him the cup and took the two dollars from the man.   “So… are you going to tell me today?” Sebastian asked, leaning on the counter.   “Tell you what?” Kurt asked, pouring himself a cup of coffee, sipping it quietly.   “Your number. I’ve been asking for weeks! Don’t just say ‘give it time’, it’s so irritating!” Sebastian ranted, but still held a small grin on his face.   “Five.” Kurt replied simply and Sebastian frowned, thinking about the number.   “Five what?”   “It’s a number from my phone number. You come back seven days straight and you’ll get my number.” Kurt said, finishing off his coffee as he watched Sebastian’s smirk turn into a grin. “Alright asshole. Get out of my store.”   “I’ll see you tomorrow Kurt.”   “I suppose you will.”   For the next few days, Sebastian came every morning, and every morning his cup said a new number. On the seventh day, Sebastian looked at the last number and frowned, dialing it and freezing. “It’s not working.”   Kurt smiled and leaned over the counter. “I never said I gave them to you in the right order, Seb.” He whispered. “Your job is to figure out which order they should be in.” He stretched and leaned back just as Sebastian grabbed Kurt’s tie. “Woah, Seb--”   “Shut up, Kurt.” He growled, leaning in and kissing the boy hard. He pulled back and smirked. “I’ve flirted with you for two months, I don’t need your number. I know where to find you.” He winked and walked out the door. Kurt stood, gasping for breath as his phone began to ring. He picked it up quietly. “H-Hello?”   “But I suppose having the right number makes it easier to ask you out. Breadstix. At nine.” And then Sebastian hung up, leaving Kurt flustered and excited.     ***** Chapter 2 ***** Letters I’ve Written To My Love   Dearest Sebastian, I miss you. I know we can’t be together right now. But know you are in my heart. Yours Sincerely, Kurt Dearest Sebastian, I hope they hear your calls at night. They don’t hear mine. Yours, Kurt. Dearest Sebastian, They say you’re not real… They keep telling me these letters aren’t getting to you, The address doesn’t exist…. But even in my imagination, I could never create someone as perfect as you. Love, Kurt Dearest Sebastian, They said I can’t waste anymore on stamps. I hope you are doing well. Remember I love you. —Kurt ****4 Months Later*** My Darling Kurt, I moved, I am real, I still love you… Tell the doctors to shove it. I love you baby, Seb   ***** Alleyway 2 of Avenue B ***** Alleyway 2 Of Avenue B For Alexxwenzel   Sebastian shivered against the cold, his gloved hands rubbing his arms, trying to stay warm. He rested against the brick and coughed, not sure, actually pretty sure, he wouldn’t make it through the winter. People passed him on the streets all the time and he watched them curiously. No one paid attention to the homeless man on Avenue B. Except for one. When he was asleep, every Tuesday, a man left him a bag of bagels and a coffee and a ten dollar bill with a note. Sometimes they were sad, sometimes funny. He collected them, he held them close all the time letting him know someone was out there watching. His last one read ‘You know when the world beats you down? Do you ever wonder how to stand back up again? I do… But then I remember, the world is a lot bigger and you need friends to help. Drink your coffee and stand up.’ The one before read ‘Should I bring you a cover? I think I should. I don’t know… If I could give you a bed and a warm place to stay I would… But I don’t think my roommate would like you. You’re prettier than her.’ And the one before read ‘I wish I knew your name. I think I’ll try guessing. James? Stanley? Markum S. Bennet? I think I like Markum. You’re now Markum of Alleyway 2 on Avenue B.’ That one always made him smile. So with his ten dollar bill he bought another bag of bagels and a package of pens and a notebook, and today he’d write back. “It’s Sebastian, I like the name Markum. Your roommate must be hideous, and I love the coffee you get me. I wish there was someplace warmer, but no need to get me a cover. Your words warm me up just fine.” The next week, after setting out the note, he awoke to a pile of blankets and a pillow, a coffee and a man, sitting next to him, eating a bagel. “Hello Sebastian. My name’s Kurt.”   ***** Get Away ***** Get Away Kurt looked across the table at Sebastian, trying to hold back a glare and failing. They sat there like that for hours, knowing they were being watched through the glass. “You shouldn’t have said anything.” “ME!? I said nothing! You were the one who said shit!” Kurt spouted back and Sebastian froze. “I didn’t say anything.” “So they don’t know?” “No…” They both sat a bit in shock at being played by the cops. But how else were they supposed to get the two to confess than playing them off each other. “Okay…” Sebastian whispered. “So we can stop pretending?” Kurt nodded slowly, then smiled. “At least we can give them our alibi.” Sebastian nodded and smirked. “How about we show them?” Kurt’s eyes narrowed, then lit up, catching on. “Oh hell yes.” Kurt was the first to dive across the table, slamming their lips together, sliding down into the cold seat where Sebastian sat. His lips pressed to the males, his arms clutched tight to Sebastians and his arms went around his neck. “When they come in, you jump them. I’ll get the big guy?” He whispered into Sebastian’s ear as he nibbled and sucked on it. Sebastian moaned. “Guns and keys.” Sebastian clarified. Kurt nodded, jutting his hips downwards and they both moaned out. The doors slammed open with a shout of ‘that’s enough’ and Kurt whined, clawing to stay close to his lover, his partner in crime. He was yanked off and Kurt unsnapped the man’s buckle as he was tossed onto the table. He held the gun firmly and then slammed the butt into the side of his head. Sebastian grabbed the other two men and rammed their heads into the table, handcuffing them and Kurt threw the gun to Sebastian, yanking off a set of keys and they ran. Sebastian shot anyone in their way to freedom. Once outside, Kurt uncuffed them and kissed Sebastian. “My, My Mr. Smythe, we are one hell of a team.” Sebastian laughed and dangled the keys. “I see one sheriffs car and one sheriffs key.” Kurt laughed and they drove to freedom, far from the American government trying to kill them for getting illegally married.   ***** A Kiss Goodnight ***** Dear Readers and Bloggers, Since I was nineteen, I have received a kiss goodnight so I can stay up writing these blog posts. I stay up until two in the morning or even three depending on how juicy my life is. And every night, my lover and partner in this crime called life, kisses me once on the head, whispers he loves me, once on the cheek, tells me to go to bed at a reasonable hour, and once on the lips to say goodnight. This happens every night for the past 3 years, even on Christmas and our anniversary. I am here tonight with a relatively short post (as per odd occasion) to tell you I will no longer be night blogging. I will no longer be spinning the long tales of Sebastian and Kurt, of our whirlwind romance and our delightful love. I will no longer be blogging about my books and movies and modeling career because tonight is the night I change not for me, but for him. So, in about three minutes, my lover is going to come in here and kiss my head, tell me he loves me and I’m going to turn in my chair, I’m going to look at him and tell him I love him before he gets a chance to say it. I will look into his miraculous green eyes and say ‘I love you, let’s go to bed right now and every night beyond this, so in the morning we can both remember laying down together.’ I want to say this, and I will, because I tend to be a man of my word. So in three minutes, when he comes in, make that two minutes, I will forever be logged off. I am going to ask Sebastian Smythe to marry me, World-- and you know it before he does. Tonight will be the night that he looks at me and sees the guy he asked out all those years ago. Tonight’s the night ladies and gentlemen. Tonight is the night I add one more wedding Romney can’t stop, because our love is bigger than any holy union could provide. And I invite you all to see us married… Just pray he says yes. One minute. One minute and it’s out. This is my goodbye, Bloggers and Readers. My devoted fans and followers. Farewell. —Kurt E. Hummel aka VeryNervousMan ********** Sebastian walked into the room, wearing plaid lounge pants, and he walked behind Kurt. The boy spun in his chair after clicking submit and smiled. “I love you. Let’s go to bed so in the morning, we’ll wake up together, and remember falling asleep together. Let’s make love and be us, for the first time in so long. And tomorrow, would you like to wake up as my fiancee?” He spat out and Sebastian froze, taking a moment to process. He licked his lips and knelt in front of Kurt, putting his hands on his knees. “I love you too. And as delightful as waking up next to you, knowing we went to bed together, and spending our lives together sounds… You have a blog.” “I just submitted my final post…” “Kurt.” Sebastian said softly. “I fell in love with you through your writing, don’t let people hurt because you stopped.” “Sebastian… I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you… And I will, engaged or not. We will spend the rest of our lives together.” Sebastian smiled leaning up to kiss him. “Yes, I’ll marry you, but only if you give your fans a reason to stay connected. They are who you are… They just don’t get to hold you close every night like I do.” Kurt laughed and hugged him, kissing him long and slow. Sebastian’s hands found his cheeks, and pulled him in tight. “Seb? Do you want me to keep blogging so I don’t have to tell you about my day?” “Sweety, who do you think runs your fan club?” “That is SO going in my blog!” “I love you, get to bed at a decent hour, goodnight.” Sebastian whispered and kissed him once more, padding off to his bedroom. Kurt spun in his chair, squealing as he opened his laptop. ******* Dear Readers and Bloggers Alike: I’m back bitches. Engaged. With one term of agreement: Never lose what got me my man. Note to all you lovers out there: Be yourself. And kiss your loved ones goodnight. —Kurt E. Hummel (Soon to be Hummel-Smythe!!!)     ***** Tell Me You Will Stay ***** Kurt dropped his bag and shook, turning to Sebastian who was taking off his jacket and hanging it up. He looked at his lover and immediately felt arms around his waist and tears pressed into his shoulder. “Don’t ever leave me.” Kurt’s voice was broken and sad. He gasped as he sobbed. Sebastian grabbed him and clutched on, fingers digging into the cloth of his coat. “Baby, you know your dad’s in a good place, he’s happier up there.” “I don’t BELIEVE in up there… Just-j—Just don’t leave me!” Sebastian grasped him tighter. “I love you and I don’t… I don’t want to go to your funeral.” Sebastian lifted the male up and walked them to their bedroom. He laid him down slowly and crawled over him. “You’re not losing me anytime soon baby. And know, the moment one of us goes out, I’ll be watching after you either way. I love you.” He whispered and kissed his nose, his cheek, his chin. Kurt sobbed louder and gasped for breath before Sebastian pressed his mouth over his, supplying his air and he grabbed him. “I’m here baby. I’m still here.” Sebastian said lifting above him a bit. Kurt stared at him, sadness in his eyes. “I know what will make you feel better.” “S-Sex is so not… not what I want right now.” “I know… But… This will.” He turned on the tv, pressed play on the DVD as a filming of Wicked started. Kurt laughed and smiled, wiping away his tears. Sebastian never watched these with him. He quickly grabbed his wrist, looking at him desperately. “Tell me you will stay.” “Forever.” Sebastian whispered laying down behind him, wrapping an arm over him as Kurt tried to smile.   ***** The Way It Is ***** Today was an average day, one filled with its ups and downs, with it’s twists and turns leading Kurt to believe everything was fine. Nothing had changed. Nothing at all. He expected to come home, find Blaine lounging on the couch with his daughter, see the dog bouncing around happily who was aptly named Sir Happy. But that didn’t happen, not in the slightest. No, Kurt walked into a loud, boisterous house filled with a whining dog, a screaming child in a playpen, with a bottle of beer as her new play toy and Blaine nowhere to be found. Kurt ran to the playpen, grabbing the bottle and tossing it in the trash. He threw in her stuffed toys, and handed one to the dog to chew on. He wandered further into the house to see an extremely drunk Blaine on an extremely younger male. He knocked, staring. “Excuse me. Get out.” He said and walked forward grabbing Blaine’s hair. “Get out.” He told the male beneath him. Kurt dropped Blaine, letting him fall to the bed as the other male scurried out of sight, grabbing clothes on the way out. “What was he? 16? 17? That’s illegal Blaine, you know what else is illegal in my world? Adultery you fucking son of a bitch. And our child had beer in her playpen. BEER, Blaine!” He yelled and slapped him. “Get your cheating face out of my house. NOW.” Kurt said and took off his ring and set it on the dresser. He’d had enough. *** Sebastian stood behind the counter, serving alcohol to minors. He remembered himself at that age and if he noticed a sober driver in the party, he’d serve it. He frowned when he saw Blaine stumble in for the second time that night. “Finally found out?” Blaine flipped him off and flopped onto the bar stool. “Tequila.” Sebastian stared at him and shook his head. “Nope… You’re cut off for the night. Give me your phone.” “You can’t text Kurt. He is divorcing me.” “With good rights too!” Sebastian said, rolling his eyes. Blaine frowned, staring at the male. “What say in it do you have, you mother fucking piece of shit?” Sebastian rose an eyebrow, yanked away his phone and took down Kurt’s number. He handed the phone back to the male and called him a cab. “You can stay at my place. Here’s the key.” He said and then handed him a twenty. “Go.” Blaine was pushed out of the bar and Sebastian sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. *** “So you knew all along?” Kurt asked, drinking coffee while holding a sleeping Melody Elizabeth. The bartender had called to check in, and had been invited over quickly by a stressed Kurt. “Yeah… I figured, at first, you guys weren’t together anymore… then over time, he started forgetting to take off his ring, or he’d refer to going home before you got mad. Never mentioned a daughter… She looks like both of you… How is that possible?” “Think about all the bad things he ever said about me. It will make more sense then.” Kurt said and ate his salad until Sebastian understood. His eyes lit up with understanding and Kurt rolled his eyes. “Wow…” He murmured and looked at Kurt. “So… you’re a man in a female hemale body?” Kurt rolled his eyes. “I’m a man with a vagina. And… uterus. And a prostate. I’ve got the best of both worlds.” Kurt said softly, sliding a piece of chicken in his mouth. “However, twice the chance of getting cancer. Not so great.” Sebastian ate slowly, staring at Kurt. Kurt stared back for a moment and rolled his eyes. “Yes, you can see it.” He said and Sebastian sat back, relieved he didn’t have to ask the horribly rude question. *** Kurt laid down and looked at the ceiling, legs spread. Sebastian sat between his legs, staring in awe. “It’s… Pinker than I imagined.” He murmured. “Is it always so wet?” Kurt shook his head. “No… You-You can touch it if you’d like.” He whispered. Sebastian bit his lip, his fingers shaking as he reached out, touching the soft, shaven pussy. The lips sunk in, like putty beneath his fingers and he spread them out slowly the wetness making Kurt glisten. A gasp escaped Kurt as a finger trailed over his clit. “That’s the uhm…” “Clit.” Kurt answered. “And it’s very sensitive. Especially this time of the year…” “Why?” “I’m in heat. I can keep going, hours and hours of just orgasms and it’s like it’s never enough.” He whispered, looking into Sebastian’s eyes. Sebastian stared back and he slid his fingers across the clit once more making Kurt mewl, arching his back. Sebastian pressed harder, Kurt gasping for breath, fingers gripping the sheet. Almost, Kurt thought, his eyes shutting. He was so close, the anticipation making it so much easier and faster to get Kurt to hit that sublime tipping point. Kurt moaned, deep and got louder with every stroke until he came, groaning out his climax, a wetness spilling out of him. Sebastian blinked, amazed. Kurt moaned, already needing more. “Again… Please Sebastian… Please…” The male swallowed, staring at Kurt and he leaned down, licking a long trail up his pussy, his tongue sliding inside him for a moment and delving into the hot, wet heat. The sensations drove Kurt wild, and over the next two hours, Sebastian made Kurt come so many times, he passed out. Sebastian wiped his lips and cock, throwing away condoms filled with cum and tissues slick with Kurt’s juices. He slid out of the bed and put his pants on, walking out to play with Melody, watching Yo Gabba Gabba until Kurt would awake and find Sebastian and Melody, sleeping on the couch, holding each other. The way it was always supposed to be.     ***** Signature Here ***** “Do you agree to not sue or testify against the Soulmate Recognition program?” “Yes.” “Do you understand once your soulmate is found, you have no choice but to live with them, for the rest of your life?” ”..Yes.” “Okay. Hand?” Kurt pushed his hand forward, looking away. It beeped into his flesh when the man punctured his perfect skin to implant a chip. “Alright, signature here.” Kurt signed and shook the man’s hand, walking out just as he bumped into a man. His wrist burned and he hissed, moving to look up at the male, who was staring at his own wrist. Their eyes finally met and Kurt just blinked. They stood in silence for a long time, their fingers, their hands motionless until all at once the chips stopped burning, their instincts took over and in a rush of pheromones the pain faded, their lips met. Soft against hard, their bodies the same in tone. Pale hands tugged at hair, tan ones slid against skin. Mouths meshed, producing sloppy noises and wanton moans. Kurt would never regret, not once, getting the chip implanted within his skin. It’s ever-there warmth reminding him that Sebastian was his soul mate, his lover, his partner. Together, they fought, but Kurt would never take that away from them. It made them… work. It was beautiful and intrinsic and… God, it was perfect.   ***** Some Things We Don't Talk About ***** Sebastian slid the needle into his skin, head falling back and dropping against the headboard of his bed. *** Kurt looked at another man, looked at him, truly, while Blaine was next to him, holding his hand. *** Blaine had his back slammed into the wall, a hand slid around his neck, choking him. “D-Dad!” He coughed and grasped at the wrist as he was punched. *** “I didn’t mean too.” They all say it. They all mean it, they all feel horrible and there is a sick twist in their guts. One they can’t get rid of. *** Sebastian looked at Kurt, both on the Smythe’s bed, just staring in silence. Kurt was the first to move, sliding closer, his hands touching his wrists and then his biceps and then cupping his face. Their lips smashed together at the same time as Blaine’s back smashed against the balcony of his own home. There was a sickening crunch as he fell back. *** Kurt stared at the grave six months later, not sure whether to cry or get angry. If only he hadn’t been with… well it didn’t matter now. It was done. Nothing could turn back time. *** Sebastian slid the needle into his skin and his toes curled. He drew his knees up to his chest, dropping his head. He closed his eyes and rocked slowly as he waited for his high to take effect. *** Some Things, We Don’t Talk About   ***** Two Night Stand ***** Sebastian slid his hands slowly down Kurt’s arms in the shower. He breathed against his ear, deep and slow, making Kurt’s body shiver. His hands slipped around his waist and dragged the male’s back to his chest, feeling their skin press together with a hot sweat mixed with equally hot water. They closed their eyes and breathed in unison. “Will we ever have a two night stand?” Kurt asked quietly and Sebastian laughed against his neck, kissing it softly. “That would cost you some serious money, K.” The boy grinned turning to look up at him. “You’re worth it.”   ***** Can I Have Sprinkles *****   Kurt curled up in Sebastian’s lap, hugging his blankie. He sucked his thumb and Sebastian sighed. He hated himself when Kurt reverted into Kurtsie mode, desperately craving attention and not the kind Sebastian was always so willing to give out. “It was just a movie Kurtsie.” he whispered, playing with his hair. “There’s no reason to cry.” Kurt just sniffled and sobbed more, clinging to the small blanket. “She was happy in the end.” “SHE DIED!” “Yes… But she wasn’t stuck with that douche of a boyfriend.” Kurt looked up at him. “Maybe I should die.” Kurt said and then moved back to staring at the screen. Sebastian swallowed and blinked away tears. “How about… I put on project runway, make you a bowl of ice cream, add caramel and butterscotch and not ridicule you on how much sweets you’ve had today. Could you live with me for that?” Kurt seemed to think about it and then looked back up into Sebastian’s green eyes. “Can… Can I have sprinkles?”   ***** The Evolution Of Sethbastian Smythe ***** Sebastian sat at the grave, just staring at it. He felt a familiar hand press against his shoulder. Kurt sat behind him, wrapping his arms around the male. Kurt felt the shuddering sob leave Sebastian’s body, literally shaking his frame. Kurt just held on tighter as Sebastian cried. “It’s okay sweety, it’s just me, cry all you need.” He said comfortingly and pressed his cheek to the back of Sebastian’s neck. “Love you.” He whispered, kissing down his neck slowly, just holding him as Sebastian cried out over and over. He cutched at the grass as pain shocked through him. “Shhh I’ve got you baby.” Kurt whispered and sighed. “I’m here, Seb.” Kurt looked at the gravestone of Sethbastian Smythe. Seth as everyone knew him. Sethy, Lover, Brother… That’s what Kurt and Sebastian had called him, late at night, his kisses and his love making all three moan in ecstasy at times. He was the perfect lover, the perfect man. Now he was dead leaving Sebastian and Kurt alone. Kurt had cried for three days after the death, but Sebastian had held it in. He’d held it in until after the funeral, the burial. He’d stayed until the tent was taken down, until balloons flooded the air as a goodbye. Kurt had waited on the hood of the car, before watching his lover finally break down. It was like watching composure crumble, a body fall apart out of loss and missed love. “He loved you.” Kurt said and smiled. “He loved you so much. He… He was going to propose…” He said softly. “We were going to be married.” Kurt whispered. “We were… and he didn’t want to leave us.” Kurt finished and Sebastian finally stopped crying for the moment. They sat there in silence before Sebastian leaned forward, kissing the head stone. He put his hand on the stone, Kurt putting his own hand over it. “We will be alright, it will forever hurt, but we’re going to make it.” He whispered and Sebastian smiled looking at Kurt, nodding slowly. Kurt helped him stand. “Come on, let’s go home and watch Little House on the Prairie.” Normally Seth begged them to watch it, and Sebastian whined about how boring it was, but tonight Sebastian just nodded. “Right where we left off?” He asked and Kurt nodded slowly. “Like he never left.” *** For weeks after his death they set three places at the dinner table, made popcorn for three, watched three movies, as if nothing had changed. But it slowly tore at them that their king size bed wasn’t full. The next day, Kurt laid out two places, and when Sebastian walked in he shook his head. “It’s not right.” He whispered and Kurt hugged him. “Do we need a third?” Kurt whispered and Sebastian bit his lip. “No… We need Seth.” Kurt hugged him harder. “Let’s adopt… Let’s get a child.” Kurt pressed his face into Sebastian’s neck and clung to him. “Okay.” He whispered and rubbed his back. *** “Let’s watch Little House on the Prairie!” Seth yelled, running through the kitchen, shooting nerf darts at his ‘mom and dad’. They laughed and shot him back. “Seeeth! I don’t wannnaaa!” Sebastian whined and Kurt grabbed him close, kissing him hard. “You and I are going to make popcorn for three, sit down on the couch, and watch Little House with our son. If you don’t like it, then I’m going to put you on chore duty for the week.” Kurt smacked his lovers ass and walked away, Sebastian grinning, going to get the DVD’s.   ***** What The Blind Can Hear And The Deaf Can See ***** Kurt held onto his walking stick, sliding it side to side in front of him. He stopped and tilted his head, lifting his nose as he shook his head. “You smell like craigslist.” He said but nobody said anything back. He tilted his head and heard a ‘click’click’click.’ Noise. He spun and decided to just go forward to get his coffee until a robotic voice sounded out. “Yes. And you look like Vogue Trash Issue 69.” Kurt froze and spun. “Excuse me?” ‘click’click’click’ “What? Can’t take an insult from a fellow cripple?” “Listen Stephen Hawking. You are a cunty little bitch and I don’t get talked down to.” “Speak slower, I can’t read your lips. Also, I’m taller than you, deaf, not in a wheel chair. I’m also hotter.” That hit Kurt in the gut with the power of it’s words. Kurt was blind, he couldn’t tell how good he looked. Or how bad. Suddenly there was a hand on his waist. “Kurt.” It was Rachel. “Ignore him, you look lovely today as always. I got your coffee, let’s go sit down.” “He’s being rude Rachel.” “As were you. Let’s just… ignore him.” Kurt nodded along with her as they walked to their table. Sebastian smirked, eyeing the males body. God he wanted the boy, he just had to find out how to get him to love him without using his sex appeal. ***** A Lesson In Being Fat ***** A Lesson In Being Fat Trigger Warning: Cutting, Self-Harm, Self-Hate **Inspired by the news anchor who stood up. Because I’m a bright and blossoming 250 pound, 21 year old woman, and I get it. ********************* Kurt stood in the mirror and stared. He did it every night, over and over. He just stared at himself. Of his limbs overgrown with fat. His stomach with rolls of it when he gripped it in his hands, his ass where it was voluminous with curds of the hateful substance. He stared, and stared, and hated even more. He felt criticism from everyone, doctors, friends and family. Even his lover of ten years, his husband Sebastian. He felt it all, and it bore down on him, making him feel even more unhealthy. He’d starved himself endlessly, passed out from not eating at the gym where he was trying to work off the stubborn belly rolls he could see when he did crunches. He hated himself. He bit his lip, dangling the razor between his fingers as he stared, the shock of the situation making his knees hurt. His fat, pudgy, lumpy knees. He fell to sit on the corner of the bed and that’s where he started. He slit in, no hesitation as the blood bubbled at the surface and spilled down to his clean, pale feet. Long, thin lines of blood abstract against alabaster fat legs. He slid the blade over thighs, over his stomach. His shell gray sheets turning dark red, near black. His fingers lost sense of touch as he cut deep in his wrists. The skin opened beneath his hand. It was hard to breathe, his heart beating slower. His vision got blurry and he remembered. /Flashbacks/ “Mr. Hummel, could you please step on the scale?” Kurt nodded and sighed. “It’s Hummel-Smythe.” He corrected, covering his eyes as he stepped on the scale, not wanting to see the amount of change inflicted upon his body. He didn’t want to see it or recognize it. “Okay, step down.” “Mr. Hummel-Smythe your weight is irregular. It’s jumped 15 pounds from two months ago…” He flushed and turned to Sebastian, not wanting to hear it. /// “Ow!” “What?” Kurt asked, eyes flashing up to Sebastian’s as he laid on top of him. “Hips… ahh baby. Can you… Can we switch?” Kurt frowned, flushed. He was so fat, he was hurting him. He rolled off, just laying there, willing for Sebastian to take him, unsure how he could ever love or want to be with someone like him. /// “Kurt! Sebastian! Wow Kurt you’ve…” Carole eyed his body and she smiled. “Come in! Eat!” She said and ushered them in. Kurt frowned, of course. Feed up the piggy, it’s what he likes to do. ******* Sebastian walked into the apartment. “Kurt? Kurt I brought home your favorite thai! And I rented that RENT musical you wanted me to get… Kurt?!” He called out and sensed something wrong. He ran to the bedroom and jumped on the bed, grasping at the boy, checking for a pulse, anything as he frantically dialed 911. “Baby… Baby wake up. I need you. Please wake up!” He whispered as tears streamed down his face. ******* Sebastian and Kurt sat together in a field. Blades of beautiful green grass between them. “You shouldn’t have done that.” Kurt whispered, looking at his lover. Their fingers intertwined and Sebastian laughed. “Neither should have you.” He said and they just looked out, sighing at their solitude as they watched in the distance as they were buried side by side. Sebastian smiled, shaking his head. “I hate it when they say I’m sorry for your loss.” He said as he fell back, looking up at the sky. “Why sweety?” Kurt whispered, laying down next to him, holding his chest. “Because they don’t care.” He said and looked at Kurt. “They only come so people think they do… Think they were important to us. But in truth… I don’t remember half of those people, and the other half probably told me to go screw myself within the last month. I fucking hate them all.” He whispered and then held Kurt. “I only need you.” “I love you.” Kurt whispered. “I love you too, Kurtsie.” They smiled at the name and just laid there.   ***** A Proposal ***** Kurt had many a dream about how he was going to be proposed too, and he voiced them frequently and more often in the past three months than Sebastian Smythe knew what to do with. But he knew one thing was certain. Kurt had a type. His dreams were filled with an audience, in a spectacular place, with a spectacular grand gesture. Sebastian Smythe had never been poor or middle class, his family coming from a long line of money and it was surely not stopping at Sebastian. Sebastian currently worked for the American Ballet Company, teaching and producing modern ballets, such as Rock On! and When A Good Man Dies, A Young Love Yearns. Kurt, of course had hit Broadway, was a big star, but his high point had come and gone years ago. They lived in a nice condo in New York City, alone except for their two dogs Maxwell and Theodore, named aptly after the main characters in Sebastian’s ballets. Sebastian planned everything carefully, he did it so well it looked like he’d done nothing at all. Everyone was there, the mood was set, and as Kurt walked in, tired Sebastian scooted over on the couch for his lover to fall onto it, plopping his feet in Sebastian’s lap. “I can’t believe her! She just… Pushed me off stage! How ridiculous is that?!” He asked and Sebastian just nodded along with what his lover said. He smiled and kissed his big toe after pulling off his shoes and socks. Kurt crinkled his nose but looked away. “Have you just been sitting here all day?” Sebastian looked up at him and shrugged. “It’s possible I took a sick day.” “What? Sebastian! I missed two shows this month, we’ll be short on rent and— Nevermind Mr. Moneybags, we’ll tap into your family account, a few hundred is nothing from that dime bank! Hell we’ll hire a maid to clean up this mess!” He said, standing to start cleaning. Sebastian stood following him in silence, letting his lover rant on and on, but a small smile remained on Sebastian’s lips as he said “Marry me.” “-And you never unload the dishwash—- What?” “Marry me.” “Are you seriously proposing to me when my hands are full with…” Kurt looked at the items in his hands and his mouth opened. He’d been picking up vacation pamphlets with honeymoon themes. Kurt’s eyes widened and Sebastian grinned. “Marry me, Kurt Hummel. I promise to be the most consistant thing in your life. I promise to massage your feet when you come home, I promise to tune you out, but at the same time remember everything you said so when you ask me if I was listening… I can prove it. I promise to NEVER unload the dishwasher, although I fill it. I promise to take sick days when I plan to have a few more with my lover.” He said and smiled. “I promise… To be the guy you fell in love with 9 years ago at Rachel Berry’s party.” Kurt just watched him and looked at the pamphlets again. “I… I don’t… I.. yes.” He said and smiled. “Yes. Of course… I’ll marry you.” Sebastian grinned and nodded. “Great, now… Help me pick out the perfect engagement ring and plan my proposal… Because no matter what I did… Kurt, what you have, your dreams… They should come true. So let’s plan this fucker like it’s our wedding.” Kurt grinned and pulled him close, kissing him hard, his arms going around him. “This… This is what I wanted. I wanted you.” He whispered and Sebastian’s arms wrapped around him quickly. Kurt pulled away, flushed. “How’s Paris sound? Because if you’re going to propose the pictures have to be iconic! You know how you don’t photograph well!” Sebastian smiled and nodded. “Whatever you want.” He whispered and kissed his lover again, because in that moment Sebastian knew it’s what Kurt truly wanted. ***** The Moment Kurt Said No ***** It was a dreary day and Kurt and Sebastian were cooped up in their dorm eating chocolate covered pretzels and listening to the rain on separate beds. “Are you going to work?” Kurt asked and Sebastian rolled over to look at his best friend, pasts behind them and closer now. “No.” He said and then smiled. “I can’t leave you here alone during a storm.” Kurt smiled and looked away. “You don’t always have to be so nice…” Sebastian smiled, knowing storms scared the living hell out of Kurt. “You don’t always have to be so brave.” Kurt understood what Sebastian was saying and he sighed hearing a loud rumble of thunder and he squeaked, running to Sebastian’s bed and crawling under the sheets. “Sebastian?” He whispered, hiding against him. “Yes, Kurt?” “Why are you always so brave for me?” “Because no one else is. You deserve better.” He nodded for a moment then sat back. “Are you talking about Blaine?” Kurt whispered, his boyfriend currently being a sore subject as Blaine had just announced he was going to London for schooling instead of New York. “No, Kurt… I’m talking about the world. You deserve better.” He whispered and Kurt’s eyes flickered up to Sebastian’s. “Seba—” “Stop. Let me say my piece.” Sebastian cut him off and the taller boy stroked the boys jaw with his thumb and he smiled. “I want to be your umbrella in the rain, the jacket to protect your shoes from puddles, the earmuffs to keep your ears warm, and the mittens to keep your hands from numbing. I want to protect you from the thunder and the lightning, from things we can’t stop. I want to protect you as I’ve always done since we became friends. Kurt… I want to be be better than them. For you.” Kurt frowned and ducked his head under Sebastian’s chin. “N-No…” He whispered and shook his head. “What? Why?!“ “Sebastian… You’re already better than they are. I just wanted you to want me back.”   ***** I Hate Funerals ***** “Kurt?” Sebastian asked and Kurt walked into the room to look up at his boyfriend with a loose material around his neck. “That’s…” “The bow tie I bought him. Yeah, can you help me?” He whispered softly and Kurt nodded, working it into a bow, straightening it. Sebastian tipped his chin up and Kurt put a little smile on his face, filled with sorrow none the less. “Kurt.” “Yes, Sebastian?” “We’re gonna be late.” The smaller of the two nodded and sighed, adjusting his own bow tie, and they got in the car. It was a beautiful day, and he was glad for it. Blaine didn’t deserve to be buried on a dreary day. “I hate funerals.” Kurt whispered, having gone to his fair share himself. Sebastian let out a choked laugh. “I don’t think anyone actually likes them.” They got to the funeral parlor and walked in, immediately being greeted. “Kurt and their friend, Sebastian.” Only those close knew, understood and accepted Sebastian’s role as Kurt and Blaine’s sub. Their ‘other’. Near the end they were all content, happy boyfriends. But it wasn’t always like that. *** Sebastian was nervous, he’d been given an address and two names. He looked at the sheet of paper. He’d been bought at an auction where he’d been blindfolded, unable to see his buyers. But he went for the most cash the auction house had ever seen. A young man opened the door and smiled. “Sebastian…” Kurt’s voice was lovely, calm, and accepting. “Come on in. Let me show you the house.” Sebastian nodded, entering the house quickly. If this was to be his master then he would not refuse. Sebastian and Kurt walked through the house and stopped at the boys bedroom. “Now… as you could see Blaine’s not here right now. He will be off work and home in about an hour. Do you think you could be clean and naked in slave position one by then?” Sebastian nodded eagerly. “Okay, good. There’s a red mat in the playroom I’d like you to kneel on. I’ll put it out for you. You have fifty minutes.” Kurt kissed the males cheek and left the room. Sebastian quickly made his way too his private bathroom and got ready. He walked out of his room and to the playroom, naked. He found the mat and knelt on it, hands behind him and his head down. He stayed like that for a good twenty minutes before the doors opened and a man knelt down in front of him, tilting up his chin. “Give me your words.” “Whiskey for yellow, Vodka for red.” Some slaves liked to choose their own words. “My name is Blaine… And you will be following our rules, do you understand?” Even if he could, Sebastian would never have said no. Because seeing Kurt walk in behind Blaine… Sebastian was in love with both of his masters. He would love them until the end of time. *** “Isn’t it so sad how he died?” A woman asked and Kurt and Sebastian glanced at each other. Their fingers tangled together and stayed silent. Blaine had died of a heart attack having probably the best orgasm of his life. One Sebastian and Kurt had pulled from him with teeth, tongue, lips, fingers, hands…. Every sense was on high alert… “Yeah, a heart attack is horrible.” Sebastian ducked his head and leaned into Kurt. “He was happy though.” He murmured. Kurt nodded. “Yes… Yes he was happy.” He whispered, petting his slave’s hair, his boyfriend’s hair. “After this do you want to go out for ice cream?” Sebastian nodded quietly. “Then can I play on the straps?” Kurt hummed in appreciation and nodded. Sebastian felt a rush of relief. He hadn’t been dominated since Blaine’s death and he could tell Kurt needed to vent and the funeral was not what Blaine would have wanted. He hated most of the people there. So that night when they got home, Kurt and Sebastian declothed each other and Kurt whipped Sebastian into submission over and over until they both came. They laid around a few candles and pictures of Blaine later that night while Kurt soothed any wounds on Sebastian. “Do you think he misses us?” Sebastian asked and Kurt smiled, nodding. “Yeah… He even ordered you a collar. We were going to give it to you on your birthday.” He said and smiled sadly. “What are we going to do now?” Kurt stayed silent and rubbed Sebastian’s back. “I was thinking… We buy a new sub. Not to replace Blaine… But to… move on a bit… We can’t be like this the rest of our lives.” Sebastian nodded quietly. “Can… Can I help you choose?” Kurt laughed and nodded. “Yes. Yes you can help. You’re my boyfriend after all.” Sebastian grinned and closed his eyes. A month later, Kurt and Sebastian came home with Artie. He was in a wheelchair and the only thing he couldn’t feel were his legs but he was fully functional. But when Sebastian had seen him on auction going for nothing more than one hundred, he stood, crying and yelled ‘one thousand.’ Kurt understood that… no one should feel like they’re worthless… And seeing Sebastian cry for someone he didn’t even know had made him smile. They bought Artie immediately. His sub position was altered since he couldn’t kneel. But they got him a wheeled pillow and he did the best they could. Artie eventually left, saying it wasn’t for him. And Kurt and Sebastian were alright with that, finally accepting… no one could be Blaine. No one.   ***** Friday Night Talks ***** Chapter Notes WARNING: BLAINE IS A PART OF THIS CHAPTER!!!! Sebastian rose an eyebrow at Blaine who was holding Rachel’s baby. His face was contorted so his lips were pursed making kissy faces, eyes wide like a fish. “Who’s a coot widdle baybey?” Sebastian shut his eyes, rubbing them with two fingers. “This is ridiculous.” He murmured and glanced at Kurt who was smiling at Blaine, taking a photo with his phone. He glanced at Sebastian and sent him a text quickly. ‘Smile sweety. It’s making him happy. Blaine, I mean.’ Sebastian rolled his eyes. ‘With his ungraceful luck, he’s going to drop and kill it. We have no right to be holding A LIFE in the air…’ Kurt just smiled and looked at the two, shaking his head. ‘You know what our FNT is going to be about.’ ‘How are we going to tell him no?’ ‘WE? What if I want one too? Two trumps one.’ Kurt sent and smirked. Sebastian glared and sighed, pocketing the phone. (FNT = Friday Night Talk. Where the boys discuss things they’d like that would need both of their boyfriends consent on.) Later That Week (Friday To Be Exact) “I want a baby.” Blaine said and Kurt just smiled, glancing at Sebastian. Sebastian just looked at Blaine. “Waking up ten times during the night.” “Divided by three?” “Still three times a night. Changing diapers, buying clothes, cleaning puke, poop, pee and other stuff. Feeding, cleaning… All while going to class.” “Someone did it for you Sebastian.” Blaine said, Kurt still being silent on the sidelines. “We don’t have the qualities to be good parents.” “YOU are too scared to help out a child in need.” “There are more deserving people, Blaine!” “Both of you just shut up for a minute! How about… We get a puppy. If Blaine can take care of a puppy for a month… We’ll talk again about a baby.” Sebastian nodded, agreeing. And so the puppy mission was in effect. One month later. Sebastian just smiled as he glanced at Kurt. Blaine was ancy, sitting at the table as Sebastian pushed a thick folder across the table. “I have already filled out my half.” “What is this?” “The papers to start filing for adoption.” “But… the dog is…” “Dead. But you took care of it. You loved it, and it’s not your fault the neighbours shot it. We hope we’ll be moved by the time we get a new house.” Kurt said and smiled. “We can… We can get a baby?” Sebastian sighed and nodded. “We can get a baby.” Blaine jumped up, squealing, running around the table and holding both men close, kissing them over and over. Five years later. “Daddy, can I have a puppy?” “No.” “Sebastian!” Kurt said quickly as he looked at Lizabelle. Blaine just grinned and knelt down in front of the girl. “How about we get you a goldfish and if you can keep it alive for a month, we’ll talk about a dog.” The girl nodded with a big smile and looked at her three dads, hugging each one.   ***** Cheerio To Cheer Me On ***** “He. Did. Not.” Kurt nodded, eyes wide as he remembered the wonderfully horrid night, while sitting with Mercedes. “He did. He made this whole spectacle about me… performing for him.” Mercedes snorted, and covered her mouth. “Oh my God! Did you?!” Kurt flushed and nodded. “In the uniform.” He whispered and Mercedes’ laugh got even louder. Kurt tried to muffle the sound but could only laugh louder and harder. “You’re… You’re kidding me! Tell me… everything!” …Last Month Sometime, 9 PM… Kurt sat on the bed, reworking a sketch quietly as he hummed. “Kurt?” He looked up at Sebastian who was putting his clothes into his closet, having started the scary (or at least to Kurt it was scary), move in process. “Yes?” “What is this?” Sebastian walked out in Kurt’s high school cheerleader outfit and Kurt dropped his ink pen, leaving a large blotch on his art. “Uhh! It’s… I…” “Kurt, were you a cheerleader? Where’s the pom pom’s?” He turned and ran back into the closet and started digging. “Oh. My. God.” “Ugh, you sound like Mercedes, babe. Don’t look for them—” Sebastian was already walking out with a whole box of cheerio’s memorabilia. “This is a cd.” “Good observation, Sherlock.” Kurt said and Sebastian stripped, handing the clothes to Kurt. “Put them on.” He said and nodded. “Put the suit on, come out here, and show me what you got!” Sebastian said waving the cd with an evil smirk. Kurt sighed, knowing he owed Sebastian since he made the male put on a dress and heels for him the previous night. He came out of the bathroom ten minutes later, hair back in a swoop over his forehead and looked at a practically bouncing Sebastian who pressed play to the song ‘Four Minutes.’ And Kurt gave his all. *Present Day* “And?” “And what?” Kurt just smiled, shaking his head, not willing to tell her exactly what went down. He didn’t tell her about Sebastian jacking off to Kurt’s dancing to four minutes, or any of the other cheers. He didn’t mention about getting cum on the uniform and having to go pick it up from the dry cleaners with dirty looks from the asians who ran it. And he didn’t mention the current shirt Mercedes was wearing was inspired from the splotch the ink pen had made on his sketch. It had been a good night. No, it had been an F! A! N! T! A! S! T! — Oh fuck it. It was a good night.   ***** Tree ***** Kurt smiled as he leaned against the tree overlooking his new city of Hope Springs, New York. It was a twenty minute drive to and from work, but the view was worth it. He smiled as his hand slid over the blades of grass and his eyes roamed over the pond and swing set and little shed. “Hey.” Sebastian said, settling in beside him. “It really is beautiful.” Kurt nodded as Elizabeth and Samara played on the swing set, and he leaned into Sebastian’s chest, feeling an arm wrap around him. “We’re going to be alright.” Kurt said, and felt Sebastian squeeze his shoulders. “Yes… We are.” He said, kissing Kurt’s head and smiling. “I love us.” Sebastian finally said which left a smile on Kurt’s face. “I love us too.” Kurt replied, and squeezed Sebastian’s leg.   ***** Meerkat Cunt ***** Sebastian pressed himself to the wall, biting his lip, just watching Kurt as he laid on the bed, masturbating for the camera. He wasn’t supposed to be seeing this. He wasn’t supposed to be watching the male get himself off! Kurt moaned, raising his hips as his breath hitched. “AHhhh Fuuuuck yes!” Sebastian swallowed and looked down at his feet. Kurt’s hand stroked faster and faster, his small, thin body writhing on the bed. Finally what seemed like hours (But not long enough to Sebastian), Kurt came hot and hard all over his body. He fell back, panting as the director yelled cut. Kurt sat up glaring. “What is Smythe doing here?” “He’s our new producer, Kurt. I guess you know him?” Sebastian looked at the director then at Kurt. Kurt nodded, cleaning himself off. “Well, at least he’s not one of the actors for the orgy scene.” The door opened and a hot, muscled man poked his head in. “Angelo got sick, we’re one man short.” Kurt glared, eyes flicking to Sebastian. “Guess we need an extra.” Sebastian said, smirking. “Meerkat Cunt.” “Beautiful Bitch.” Sebastian replied undoing his shirt by a few buttons.   ***** Here ***** *** (Bold is Kurt) Where are you? Here. Where is ‘here’? Not there? Nice, Kurt. Thanks a lot. No problem sweet cheeks. I see you, turn around. Sexy glasses. Thanks. Still don’t see you. Should I dance on the statue or would that be too obscure? You’re ridiculous. Found you. Good. Moron. Ass face. Jerk. Cynical Bitch. I love you. Love you more. *** I‘m nervous. About what? The fact we’re getting married in ten minutes!? Breathe. Have a glass of wine. You’re drunk aren’t you? Of course. I know you to well. It’s time. Don’t remind me. *** Where are you? Here. Don’t start that again. I think it’s cute. Marry me? We already did that. Right. You wanna meet for lunch? Can’t. Why? I am working on a project with Elise. Ugh. Sorry. Yeah. Dinner? Sure, eight? Sounds lovely! *** Are you alright? You’re not here. I’m fine. Really? Where are you? Here. Jerk. Bitch. Cynical Ass Face Butt Muncher! This is why we should never have adopted. You know the lingo. ….You’re the one who taught me that. ….I should be embarrassed.   ***** Tell Me ***** “Tell me.” Kurt demanded as he stood in their kitchen. “Did you cheat on me!?” “Yes.” Sebastian said and looked down, his face ashamed but still smirky and cocky and filled with lonesomeness. “Tell me why.” “….I… I was drunk and wasn’t thinking.” “Tell me—” “No.” “What?” “No. Kurt.” Sebastian sighed, shaking his head. “You’re always tell me this, tell me that. Not once have you asked for any kind of honesty, you’ve demanded it!” “I have not!” “You have, you didn’t even let me ask you to marry you. You told me ‘Tell me you’ll marry me.’ I don’t get a say in your life, I just have to live in it. I’m TIRED Kurt, every day I’m so tired and I want to… to love you and you make it so damned HARD!” Kurt stood there and looked down. “Right…” He took off his ring, set it on the counter and nodded. “I’ll move out tomorrow.” He whispered and walked away. “Kurt! Kurt, please—” “No Sebastian. I never wanted to make you cheat on me. I’m sorry I’ve ruined your life.” He slammed the door shut behind him to their bedroom and Sebastian sighed. He sat at the counter on a tall bar stool. He took the ring in his long fingers and read the inside inscription. ‘To Love, To Need, To Inspire, To Live. S&K’ He took off his own and inspected it. ‘To Hope, To Dream, To Strive, To Live. K&S’ He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know what to say or how to act. He needed Kurt to make him do things. But he also needed him to let him have a say. He went to the bedroom after sliding his ring back on. He knocked softly hearing a faint ‘go away’ but he ignored it. He opened the door to see Kurt’s back. He was sitting on the side of the bed trying to fold a basket of socks that never had a match. Sebastian entered and sat behind him. “Tell me.” Sebastian whispered as he touched his shoulder. “Tell me you love me.” “I l-love you.” Kurt sniffled and threw the socks down in defeat. “Tell me you need me.” “I do.” “You do what?” “I need you Sebastian.” “Tell me we can make this work.” Sebastian said and Kurt shook his head, bringing the back of his hand to his lips. “Kurt… Tell me.” “I can’t.” He whispered. “I just… I just can’t.” Sebastian let out a defeated sigh and licked his lips, turning away. “Kurt… I’m sorry. I’m sorry I did what I did, and I’m sorry I didn’t speak up sooner. But I’m not sorry I said yes and did those things you always told me to do.” Kurt’s shoulders shook, his frame hunched over as he cried silently. “Kurt I love you. I love you so much and I will work to earn your trust back—” “No. You won’t.” Kurt whispered. “You won’t, because… I will never trust me to not push you, demand you. This is my f-fault Sebby. This is all my fault.” “I forgive you.” “I… I forgive you. But I can’t…” He whispered, rubbing his eyes. Kurt let out an exasperated sigh. “Can you just… Will you… Can… Fuck.” He murmured. “I’ll sleep on the couch.” Sebastian frowned and touched his arm. “No. You won’t. You will sleep in this bed, beside your husband, because for better or worse, I love you. And… I want to tell you.” “Tell me what?” “Whatever you want to hear.” Kurt’s shoulders slowly dropped and he nodded. Sebastian pulled him back against his chest, his lips kissing his shoulder. “I kissed his cheek, and told him that I could never betray you. But to me, the flirting, was cheating. I felt so guilty…” Kurt froze and frowned. “You WHAT? You had me thinking you pinned your coworker to a desk and just… You didn’t even kiss him?” “No.” Sebastian whispered and smiled, holding him. “Do you hate me?” “What kind of question is that?” “One that’s not a demand.” Sebastian whispered and Kurt laughed. “Tell me.” “What?” “Everything I’ve missed.” He turned in Sebastian’s arms, their lips meeting softly and Sebastian pulled his lover closer to him, holding him there. “Gladly.”   ***** The Skin We Wear ***** Summary: Kurt tells his story from graduation on in his life work paper for Times Magazine. *** Kurt Hummel swallowed, he’d been on stage so many wonderful times before. But not like this, not in his own clothes, with his own face dazzled by no make up but a flawless skin care routine he’d done since he was in the third grade. This was different, this was important. He couldn’t tell who was in their seats watching, the lights were so bright. He couldn’t tell if the ones he cared about, he’d be talking about, were there to hear him. “Presenting Time Magazines Most Exceptional Man Of The Year: KURT HUMMEL!” A round of applause led Kurt to a bow on the stage and a soft turn to show his styling. He hugged the introducer and kissed his cheek. He walked to the microphone and smiled, pulling out a bunch of papers. “First off, I’d like to say I don’t deserve this award. To be… exceptional, is to beat your own dream, and I have only succeeded in the dream, I lost something along the way. As everyone knows, in the past three years, since this award has been given, a paper written by the winner is published. But just reading it won’t make you understand where I’m coming from, so… this is to help.” He took a drink of water and looked at the papers. He began speaking once again. “When I was very young, too young to know better, I hid myself behind layers of clothing and decided it was best to go far, by hiding who I was. There would be no obstacles in my way if I decided that route. But someone broke me of that nature, she’s lovely as a person, and I hope she’s smiling every day as she often would tell me to. There’s a lot to this story but it starts here. A persons skin tells a lot about them, I’m not talking about African, Spanish or otherwise. I’m talking about the scars.” He coughed and rolled up his sleeve as he did. “Since I graduated, I’ve gotten a musical note for every significant event in my life. The music is still growing inside and… it gets fast and it gets slow, a measure for every month I’ve lived. But when I met Blaine… Oh Blaine, my life picked up where it should have started. He was my everything from day one. I met him, I dreamed of him, I loved him and it broke my heart a year after graduation when we stood in Battery Park and we said our goodbyes.” He looked away remembering that day. “But even he had his own scars, the little marks on his knuckles from a particular club we can’t talk about.” He said and grinned. “And he wore his heart on his sleeve, confessions and all. It was all about him, his life, and how wonderful he was to be around. So my life got pretty slow, I worked hard, did performances, I even danced to Single Ladies in the middle of 24th Street. Yeah, you’ve all seen it!” He laughed rubbing his neck. “That’s when the best thing I ever gave up happened. Sebastian Smythe, and yes I’m name dropping the most Influential Man of the year here, he… took my hand one night after a performance and proposed. Now understand this, I hated Mr. Smythe ever since high school and had not seen him since my senior year in high school. He begged me, on his knees, to marry me.” “That’s when his scars were evident, his beautiful scars.” He took a short, raspy breath. “My life restarted, I remember leaning down and looking him in the eyes and seeing the world, the future, the past and thinking… I don’t even deserve him. He was just making his way into his ballet and his fathers fortune 500 company and he was… so… perfect.” A small lick of his lips as his crowd stayed silent, wondering where this was going. “I said no, and this is where the music gets sad. I said no because I hated him until that point in time. And the look in his eyes was like watching the towers fall once more, it was devastating, I’d CREATED a scar. And there’s nothing that can bring you back from that. My life pretty much upped itself as everyone knows. Broadway, tv, movies, stardom. Announcing my marriage to the handsome Chandler Kiehl who I know for a fact is here.” He smiled as he looked back down. “This is where I’m standing right now, a fresh music note on my wrist, a long, long line of music.” He looked away. “And it’s about to get better. Chandler Kiehl is one of the most wonderful friends I’ve ever had, he’s amazing and funny and absolutely loving. But he asked me something last night while I was trying… trying so hard to write this.” “He asked me something I had never wanted to think about: What is it that I’d lost that would make everyone understand who I was aside from who they think I am.” His lips pursed and he nodded. “Sebastian Smythe, I lost him. I only saw him, TRULY saw him once. And since that day I have regretted every decision I’ve made. Marriage, musicals, productions, even my own writing because it wasn’t what it could have been if I had just said yes… If I’d looked at Sebastian with the truth and honesty and courage that he looked at me with. If I would have just been truthful not only to him but to myself, I would have married him and life would have been so much more melody than ballad. My skin would glow effervescently with perfect scars and it kills me to this moment that you all think I’m wonderful and… important, when to be that person, I have to rewind time and change everything.” He stepped away from the microphone and glanced at the side. “Thank you all for your loyal support and love, but I don’t deserve it.” Chandler walked on stage and took his hand, pulling Kurt into his chest so supporting of his husband. They walked off as everyone wasn’t sure what to do. Clap? It seemed like a defeat, like a purposeful decline. “GAY FACE!” Someone called out behind him and Kurt turned. Sebastian rose an eyebrow, walking towards him. “You called me out as gay, as crazy, and rude.” He said, all the while Kurt biting his lip. “You’re an idiot, Hummel. An idiot and I don’t have a clue what I was thinking all those years ago. I was probably drunk, because I don’t remember ever giving you that ring.” Kurt’s frown turned, he was smiling and Sebastian started his famous meerkat smirk. Kurt stepped away from Chandler who understood, who let him go, and just watched as Kurt stepped to Sebastian. “I never mentioned a ring.” “You also said no.” “I hate you.” Kurt whispered back before Sebastian grabbed his hips. “I hate you so well.” Sebastian laughed at the phrase and glanced at Chandler. “May I?” “Please! Take him off my hands!” Chandler said before Sebastian leaned in, kissing Kurt hard on the lips. “Well, you two have fun, I’m going to go prep the media.” He said, walking away. Kurt flushed, glancing at Sebastian. “Why did you come?” “You’re husband said it would be the most important event in my life…. and if I missed it I’d miss out on my true last chance to finish a music note in the scar of the skin you wear.” “That’s my boy.” “That’s your boy and I’m your man.” Sebastian whispered before kissing him again. “Yes.” Kurt said bluntly and Sebastian lifted him up. “Yes a million times yes. I’ll never miss out on you again.” “I love you.” “I love you.” “I love you too, if anyone cares to listen.” Chandler said, leaning on the wall. “Ready to make a twosome into a threesome?” Both males laughed at Chandler. “You can be the gay little brother.” Sebastian said. “I’m not letting Kurt go, to anyone, ever again.” Kurt Hummel flushed. Succeeding and going beyond his dreams. “Fine, fine, a twosome of Kurt and Sebastian it is. But I am SO not moving out. I call the loft!” He sang lightly, kissing Kurt’s cheek. “I’ll always, always be your best friend.” “And you, mine.”   ***** A Quarter For A Smile ***** Kurt stood outside by the payphone, digging in his pocket for spare change. His back slumped, eyes closing as his head hit the glass side. A taller male held out a quarter and smiled. “Nobody should look as sad as you on Christmas eve.” Kurt’s eyes glistened with hope as he took the quarter. “T-Thanks.” He whispered, sliding it in the phone and dialing. “Hey Dad… I just… I just wanted to tell you Merry Christmas, I love you… I’ll be home as soon as I can.” Sebastian watched him, his face contort with happiness as he listened to his fathers voice. He smiled and glanced at his car that was waiting for him. At the end of the phone conversation Sebastian smiled. “I think you owe me.” “For the quarter!?” “No, for the smile. Have coffee with me, you look a little cold.” Sebastian said, hands in his pockets. Kurt blew on his own hands, staring at Sebastian but he nodded. Sebastian led him to his car and held the door open for the boy. “My name is Sebastian Smythe.” “K-Kurt.. Kurt Hummel.” ******* Sebastian watched the video. Once. Twice. Twenty and fifty times. It was just one 10 second video, but it made all the nerves in his body burst in happiness, his stomach clench, his eyes flutter and his lips open in awe. Just that one short clip… “Melody! Swing higher!” Kurt said, clapping, their daughters first time on a big girl swing. “I am daddy! I am!” She kicked her feet haphazardly and Kurt laughed. “You’re such a big girl now! Wave to the camera! So Papa can see!” She waved and blew a kiss. The camera turned and Kurt’s face appeared. “I love you baby, come home soon, okay?”   Sebastian smiled, biting his lip. This business trip was over, he needed to go home. ********* Sebastian sat in the hospital, tired, feet hurting from pacing as they waited for news. Kurt just sat, drinking coffee a little too fast, and often getting up to use the restroom. Finally they heard the noise, the ringing of happiness over the intercom. Kurt stood, grabbing Sebastian’s hand. The doctor came in a few minutes later. “They are both girls.” Sebastian just stared at him and Kurt looked at his husband. “Oh my God….” He whispered and smiled. Half an hour later they sat by Ariel’s side, a young girl who knew she couldn’t take the responsibility of a child, let alone two. Each male held a child, a little bundle of slumbering body, mouths opening and closing, little noses red from birth. “What are you going to call them?” Ariel asked sleepily. “Elizabeth Rose Smythe…” Kurt whispered looking at his little girl, smiling softly. “Melody Lynne Smythe.” Sebastian replied, eyes full of love, bouncing softly in the chair. Ariel’s eyes lit up, happy she’d picked the perfect family.   ***** The Way He Held Me And The Way You Hold Me ***** Summary: The inner thoughts of Kurt’s mind, as he lays with Blaine after being with Seb while they were broken up. *** Kurt laid there, arms around him but kind of lifeless, a thumb pressing against the inside of his wrist, sliding slowly over the pale skin that lay beneath. “This feels nice, doesn’t it?” Blaine asked while holding Kurt and the taller boy let out an exasperated sigh. “Yeah Blaine.” And it does in a familiar way… And it doesn’t in another. He remembers just a week ago when Sebastian grabbed his waist and pulled Kurt flushed against him. The arms were strong, protective, and the mouth slid over his neck and made Kurt…. Powerless. Kurt needed it, the way the hands melded Kurt and not Kurt’s body melding the hands. It wasn’t just the hands, it was the body heat, he and Sebastian’s body were flushed, head to toe, every bit soaking in each others warmth being with each other in the moment. He shivered remembering the feeling when every time Sebastian would let out one of those sultry ‘ahh’s how Kurt’s body would shiver in delight. His words were like cider, warm apple cider, dripping slowly down the spine making everything tingle in just the right way. Kurt felt Blaine’s hands move gently to his waist. “Want to make love?” Kurt just nodded mindlessly. It wasn’t like Blaine was bad at it, it’s just that… Sebastian had sex. SEX. He FUCKED. And it felt so good, to have his body clawed at, to claw at another body. He could feel his hips being lifted and his ass being prepped way too slowly and carefully.Kurt was ready five minutes before Blaine ever entered. But not when he had been with Sebastian. Sebastian didn’t ask for permission, he took, with no complaints. He had a charm about him. It was probably the three octaves his voice dropped when he was horny. And there was no doubt the boy could swing his hips. SLAM. SLAM! Kurt remembered throwing his head back and gasping, body arching to the touch. SLAM!Sebastian had been thatgood. Blaine was more of a thud. ThudThudThud. Nice, calm, slow, sweet. It was gentle and caring but Kurt yearned for the slap of balls against his ass, in that toe curling, mind numbing way. He felt a hand grab his cock and he elicited a moan because… It flt like Sebastian, how he just controlled Kurt’s body. Blaine however stroked slowly, carefully, with delicate finger work and Kurt wondered if that was how Blaine jacked himself off. It must take hours. Sebastian would just… DO IT. He would grab and stroke as he pounded into Kurt and demand he like it, although a demand wasn’t needed. Sebastian was so…. intoxicating… so good. Pure. Pure as in pure alcohol, not pure sugar, too sweet to eat. Pure, alcohol that would burn a sting but cleanse it just right. Sebastian was alcohol, with strong arms and a wicked tongue. Husky breath. The thought of Sebastian doing these things had Kurt coming within minutes which made Blaine happy as he finished, threw away the condom and cuddled into Kurt. “I’m so glad you’re mine.” He whispered as they cuddled. CUDDLED. Sure cuddling was nice but being with Sebastian… it was not cuddling after sex. It was a shot of jack, two cigarettes, and short shower and another fuck before just passing out. One arm around Kurt, the other holding his cock, because it felt… right! The next morning Kurt slipped from bed and grabbed his phone texting Sebastian. “S.O.S.” Sebastian replied quickly. “Mine or yours?” “Yours. Twenty minutes?” “Make it ten. I’m already standing at attention.” “Five it is.” Kurt texted back, dressing quickly. He left Blaine there, cuddling with pillows innocently while the love of his life went to have his needs fulfilled.   ***** Broken ***** “Two Beds And a Coffee Machine” - Savage Garden   and she takes another step slowly she opens the door check that he is sleeping pick up all the broken glass and furniture on the floor been up half the night screaming now it’s time to get away pack up the kids in the car another bruise to try and hide another alibi to write another ditch in the road you keep moving another stop sign you keep moving on and the years go by so fast wonder how I ever made it through   and there are children to think of baby’s asleep in the back seat wonder how they’ll ever make it through this living nightmare but the mind is an amazing thing full of candy dreams and new toys and another cheap hotel two beds and a coffee machine but there are groceries to buy and she knows she’ll have to go home   another ditch in the road you keep moving another stop sign you keep moving on and the years go by so fast wonder how I ever made it through   another bruise to try and hide another alibi to write another lonely highway in the black of night there’s hope in the darkness I know you’re gonna make it   another ditch in the road keep moving another stop sign you keep moving on and the years go by so fast silent fortress built to last wonder how I ever made it - - Kurt hissed in pain and swallows. “B… Let go.” He whispered as he looked at the hand, his lip bleeding and his eyes red and pussy with tears. Blaine glared, hissing in anger as he grabbed a plate and chucked it at the wall. “Blaine! Sweety calm down, I’m so sorry! Not in front of Elli and Ryan!” He turned and grabbed the baby and whispered to Elizabeth to run to her room. He put Ryan in the crib in the front room. Kurt moved back to the kitchen and leaned down to pick up the shattered remains of the plate. He felt a foot connect with his jaw and he gasped falling back onto his rear end, looking up at Blaine. “Ahh… Please Blaine!” He cried out, clutching his face. “I-I didn’t mean too. I’m so sorry.” He’d gotten home ten minutes late and the dinner his husband had prepared had gotten cold. He deserved this. He deserved all of it. “You’re a sorry, pathetic bitch of a husband.” Blaine growled grabbing his hair, dragging Kurt’s limp body from the floor, slamming him against the fridge and punched him in the gut. Kurt coughed, tears streaming, his arms weakly pushing at Blaine. “Please! I’m sorry! I won’t be late again! I’m sorry!” He cried out and sobbed, gasping for air, shoulders shaking. Blaine slammed Kurt up against the fridge, smashing a vase against his head. Kurt blinked, his vision getting blurry. “I love you… I love you Blaine. Please don’t hurt me anymore?” Blaine just stared at him and his eyes filled with hurt and anger at himself before grabbing Kurt and pulling him into his arms. “Oh sweety, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.” He picked him up and carried him into the bedroom. He treated Kurt’s body sweetly, touching what he liked to be touched, but everything hurt. No amount of touch could make the pain go away. /// “It’s happened again hasn’t it?” Kurt was cleaning up the glass, talking to Rachel on the phone. “It’s fine, Rachel. I can handle it.” “Damn it Kurt for once stop thinking about you, think about your children!” Kurt went silent setting a chair up and he bit his lip. “Here’s Finn.” “Hey Bro.” Finns voice said through the phone. “I am fine…” “Our house is always open to you guys when you need us. I’m hoping we’ll be seeing you in the morning.” “I don’t… He’s coming, bye.” He said and hung up, throwing the glass away. Blaine kissed Kurt’s cheek and frowned. “Did you slip? You’ve got a split lip baby.” Blaine said and Kurt just looked at him, watching him with cautious eyes. “Yeah Blaine. I slipped.” He said and Blaine smiled. “Stop being such a clutz, what if you’re carrying Ryan when that happens?” “I’ll try harder.” Kurt said, remembering the punch to his lip given only hours ago that caused it. “Good, because you look like shit.” Blaine said, pouring a glass of milk, heating it, then walking back to the bedroom. “Sweep up that glass! God, you really are a clutz.” Kurt closed his eyes and turned to the window where he could see a reflection of Elizabeth in the doorway. She just stood there, a suitcase in hand. He turned and looked at his six year old. He moved to kneel in front of her and she put her small hands on his cheek. “I’m running away to live with Uncle Finn and Aunt Rachel, and I can’t fit baby brother in my suitcase so you’re just going to have to follow me. I won’t go fast, my bicycle only goes slow.” Kurt’s eyes teared up and he pulled his daughter into his chest. “Daddy, don’t let him hurt you anymore. He’s not a nice Papa.” Kurt just squeezed tighter on his little girl, rubbing her back. “I love you Daddy.” “I love you too ElliBelli.” He whispered and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll let you ride in the car if you promise to go back to bed until I’m all cleaned up.” He said and kissed her cheek. “Go brush your teeth.” She nodded and walked off. Kurt bit his tongue and watched her round the corner. He went and checked on Ryan before cleaning the rest of the kitchen. Kurt waited for awhile after the lights went out in the bedroom to check on Blaine. He didn’t risk waking him up by packing, instead he packed for his two children and grabbed his cell phone. He took all the savings from their old cookie jar, counting it and knew there was over a thousand missing. He sighed, pocketing it and grabbed Ryan. “Come on Elli, time to go. You need to be quiet.” He told her. He got everything and everyone in the car before driving away. /// “Daddy? Ryan pooped!” “Daddy? When will we be there?” “Daddy? Is Papa mad at me?” Every question stung, making him check his speed and fuel in the tank. “Sweety… We’ll be there soon.” He said and looked down, watching the road as carefully as he could. /// “Good. You made it.” Rachel said pushing the door open and taking Ryan. “Whew you stink!” She said and took the diaper bag to change him. “Go get Elizabeth in bed, Kurt. Then Finn will take you to the hospital.” “I don’t—” “KURT!” She demanded and the male went silent, nodding. “Thank you for letting us stay, it’s only until I can get a plac—” “Hush, we have plenty of room, and anywhere is better than there.” He nodded and held onto her for a minute. “Thank you.” He whispered. “You’re the best sister I could have ever dreamed on having.” /// Three months later and a new design job, Kurt was sitting at a bakery drawing new sketches for a fall line. He gasped as a cup of coffee poured over his pages and he looked up with a small smile. “Oh… Hi.” He said, caught off guard by the mans striking eyes. “I… You…. My pages are ruined.” “I’m so sorry, here let me clean that up! I’m so sorry, I can be such a klutz!” He said, laughing and Kurt froze as he said that word. He looked at Sebastian and noted the faint bruises and then looked at his own. “You…” “And you?” “My name’s Sebastian.” “Kurt Hummel. It’s nice to meet you.” He said and shook his hand. Sebastian sat down and three hours passed, the two just talking. Sebastian had just gotten out of a similar situation as well, but luckily he was made of money so he just bought a new house and moved on. “I… Really enjoyed meeting you, Kurt Hummel.” He said and smiled, his teeth were nice, clean and white. Kurt matched it with a smile of his own and nodded. “Maybe I’ll see you around?” “Only if you give me your number.” And that’s how it all began. /// Sebastian, within two months, met Kurt’s children and took all three of them in. Kurt and Sebastian were fairly friendly, having a lot in common although things didn’t start with romance. It was a bond over something tragic that had happened to them both. But one Halloween… /// “Elizabeth, don’t forget your headband!” Sebastian called out, picking the girl up and putting the bumblebee headband on her. She laughed and pecked his cheek. “Thanks Papa!” She said and then tugged on his shirt. “You can put me down now.” He did in a stunned silence and glanced at Kurt who was carrying a ladybug Ryan. Both looked at each other in understanding, just that short moment of knowing… This was a family. It was unconventional, but it was a family none-the-less. ///   ***** I'm Not Good Enough ***** Chapter Summary PROMPT FILL FOR BOWTIESANDRAINBOWSCARVES ::: FTM KURT COMING OUT TO SEBASTIAN? MAYBE HE AND SEBASTIAN BECAME GOOD FRIENDS IN KURT’S SENIOR YEAR? (LET’S PRETEND KURT AND BLAINE BROKE UP OR SOMETHING) AND THEY’RE NOT DATING BUT THEY’RE SO CLOSE THEY MIGHT AS WELL BE DATING. Sitting in the diner that Kurt had grown to know so well over the years since he moved to New York was generally a pleasant experience. As always, Kurt found himself seated at one in the afternoon on a Wednesday, every week, week after week. It had been this way for over three years now. And at 1:15, Sebastian Smythe would come in, sit down and expect his coffee to be hot and ready for him.  It was a nice routine, something that comforted Kurt as he drank his tea and they would banter about the normal things. Sebastian’s latest New York City conquest, Kurt’s annoying but hilarious roommate adventures. It was always something new, but never something new.  So today, Kurt had made the decision he’d been bouncing back and forth on for over three years. Today he was going to tell Sebastian the truth. The diner didn’t feel so inviting or warm as it always had when it was stress free. He knew Sebastian wouldn’t see it that way as he rolled in, fresh from his romp with a random male and eager for a pick me up secretly concealed by the cup of caffeine.  Kurt didn’t want to break routine, but he had it all planned. Sebastian was going to do his regular shpeel about how innocent the poor flavor-of-the-night had been until he had tainted him with his evil sex-beam. Then he’d order either the salmon or the chicken sandwich and then it would be Kurt’s turn. He’d just… slip it into conversation between talking about Santana and Rachel’s back and forth, ongoing and strangely erotic-building fights. Sooner or later they were going to burst and just fuck, Kurt and Sebastian had put bets on the time and day. So far, Kurt was winning since Sebastian placed his bet for over a year ago and Kurt only had a few months to go. He’d won, but it wasn’t like there was more than a prize for a free lunch which Sebastian always paid for anyway. The bell over the door rang, showing a hastily dressed Sebastian, hair rumpled and cell phone in hand. “Sorry I’m late!” He said and leaned in, kissing Kurt’s cheek. “This guy just wouldn’t leave. He was almost stalkerish and detested the idea of just sleeping with me with no relationship to follow. I’m sorry, but if you hook up with a guy in the bathroom of the Rainbow Boy Club, then expect to be doing the walk of shame the next day, you know? Don’t expect you’re fling to make you eggs and bacon the next morning!” Sebastian groaned as the waitress brought his coffee and held out the notepad. "What will it be today boys?" "Salmon—- No—- Yeah, salmon. Fish sounds good." Sebastian chimed in before glancing at Kurt who just muttered his normal chicken ceaser salad.  "It will be right out." The waitress said and Sebastian leaned forward, coffee nearly permanently attached to his lips.  "So, how was your week?" There it was, the impending question of doom that would lead Kurt to sealing his dwindling fate with Sebastian.  Kurt had to swallow a gulp of air just to begin his prepared speech. “Oh, you know… The usual. Santana bought a new thong and had to show Rachel and of course she acted appalled, like she’d never seen a girl in a thong before. She has, by the way, because I’ve seen the inside of her lingerie drawer when I was folding clothes. And then Rachel decided we should go see the new off-broadway show before she realized we were at a show about crossdressers and she freaked out so I asked her what was wrong because she knows I was born a girl and she said that she wasn’t sure she liked male to female because it was such a foreign concept except for the drag queens at Soco’s, you know? Anyway, after the show we had dinner at the chinese place on fifth and we ended up on the bad end of a food poisoning epidemic—” Kurt stopped his rant as he saw Sebastian’s passive face. “—Are you not going to interrupt?” Sebastian’s eyes flashed up to Kurt’s and he shrugged. “What do you want me to say? ‘Oh Gosh! You’re trans! I never knew!’? It would be a lie. I’ve known since High School. I always wondered how long it would take before you opened up to me about it. I just didn’t want to as because it’s horribly rude.” Sebastian stated as if it was nothing.  "I never got to say it though, but they did really well with your top surgery. I was shocked you still came to lunch the day after, though." He said, crossing his legs calmly.  Kurt’s face scrunched up in confusion before he slowly slid out of the booth and moved around the table to lean in, hugging the male. “Thank you.” He whispered into his ear as his arms wrapped around the mans muscular frame. “Thank you for never saying anything…” Sebastian gave a soft laugh. “I researched etiquette on the subject before we started hanging out more exclusively. I’m glad you found yourself, Kurt.” He said and patted the males back. “Now our food is on it’s way and I beg of you to sit your ass down because I’m starving.” Kurt did just that and took a bite of his salad, eyes never leaving his best friend. “I’m still kind of shocked… How’d you find out?” "You shifted your packer a lot in high school beneath the table at the Lima Bean. I got curious and to confirm it, I asked Blaine after the break up. He nearly made me make a blood oath not to spill it. He got weird after you all split." Sebastian murmured as he cut into his fish.  "Blaine… told you? That little asshole!" Kurt said and Sebastian laughed.  *** The next week, Kurt found himself cuddled up on his best friends couch, a bowl of popcorn on his lap. “Why do you sleep around so much, Bas? Haven’t any of these guys seemed like potential partners?” Sebastian walked in with two wine glasses and sat down, pressing play on the remote as The Voice started. “Sure, some of them. But… I never felt like they were ‘the one’, you know? Why DON’T you sleep around, Kurt?” "Because… I’m not good enough. I never was. Blaine left because of it… And it’s hard to go into a gay bar weilding a pussy of mass destruction." Kurt said, putting a piece of popcorn in his mouth and chewing as Sebastian barked out a laugh, murmuring about ‘mass destruction’. Suddenly the smile faded away and what was left was a straight face, seemingly upset by Kurt’s words. He leaned over and rested his cheek on Kurt’s shoulder. “You’re good enough. You are. You just don’t know where to look.” Kurt tilted his head to the side to glance at Sebastian. “I’ve looked everywhere.” He informed the other male on the couch.  "And?" "And I can’t compete with the untainted whores of New York City." There was silence in the room for a moment, a staleness to the air. “No, Kurt. They can’t compete with you.” The two friends shuffled closer, hands resting together in the popcorn bucket, neither making a move to raise food to their lips. They sat there, pressed together through hours of their Voice marathon and when it ended, Kurt didn’t leave. He made bacon and eggs the next morning and a fresh pot of coffee and left with a note on the table. "I’m sorry I broke the rules about breakfast, but I thought you might need the energy. -K" *** Sebastian didn’t come to the diner the next week or the next, in fact it was two months before he ever showed up and took his spot across from Kurt. He sat down, not letting Kurt talk as he immediately began his own prepared speech. "You were wrong, Kurt. I was afraid, I was so afraid if I let anyone in… even the one person who knew me the best and who could understand why I do the shit I do…. That my heart would get broken. I was afraid it was going to be my fault. That I’d fuck up. You are perfect Kurt… Every single part of you is perfect. It’s me… It’s me that isn’t—" His words halted, choked up. "I’m not good enough for you, Kurt."  At those words, Kurt stood from the table, much like he had two months ago and moved to Sebastian’s side to lean in and kiss him hard on the lips. “You’re not good enough. You’re even better.” He whispered. “You’re Sebastian Smythe. My best friend in the whole world. And you will always be good enough.” ***** Kitten Loves Cock ***** Chapter Summary PROMPT FILL FOR JUSTTOOGAYTOFUNCTION SEBASTIAN BRINGS HOME KITTY!KURT WHO IS NEW AND INEXPERIENCED, SEB THEN HAS SEX WITH HIM AND IT TURNS OUT KURT IS REALLY INTO IT AND A MASSIVE COCKSLUT It was cold the day Sebastian brought the kitten home, his hands and feet covered with socks so his claws wouldn’t rip up the carpet or furniture. Sebastian remembered the day fondly. It was a perfect day to him, one with snow littering the ground in a beautiful serenity of white, the sun was hidden behind clouds and it reminded him of Paris on the days the sun never seemed to come out.  You never get to see Paris like that in pictures. It was a simple joy, the cold always having led Sebastian to do reckless and thoughtless things. Today brought on a new storm in and of itself. A hybrid pet.  Everyone was getting them now-a-days. Everyone had puppies and kittens and ferrets and hampsters. One of his uncles had a bear, but that was altogether a totally different thing.  Sebastian remembered smiling all through out the morning as he looked into available hybrids online. He’d nearly went for a black hybrid but seeing as his past user had snipped off certain bits, Sebastian only donated to his fund and moved on, trying not to feel like a horrible person.  He’d found another site, a local shop in his area that was advertising a sale. Buy a hybrid and get free health and dental for the pet for life. He looked through their ‘Premium’ options but found nothing suitable and noted the site hadn’t been updated in over two weeks. He decided he’d head down to the shop and see just what they had in stock. Upon entering the store, Sebastian was greeted with the smell of heat. A cat’s heat, piss-fumes invaded the air being hastily covered by mass amounts of Febreeze. “I’m sorry for the smell, Sir. But when one kitten goes, so do the rest. Can I help you with anything? If you’re looking for a pet, I’d refer you to the pup section. Much easier clean up and so much more lively!” The man said as he stopped mopping the floors. "Do you not offer them heat-treatments. I’ve read that most stores let the dogs… You know?"  "Oh! Oh we tried that once but the cats wanted nothing to do with them. Silly really…" The shop keeper said. "So if you want a pup, they’re right this wa—" "I want a cat." Sebastian said simply and ignored the shopkeepers protests as he walked through the door to the right where the smell was coming from and knew immediately which one would be his. "That one." He pointed, looking at the cat, stretched out on it’s back, hips thrusting into the air but entirely silent. "Sir, no, I can assure you he’s not the one you want. You see sir, he’s mute—" "I want him. Get him for me." He said and turned, walking out.  And that was that, Kurt became Sebastian’s personal pet.  *** Sebastian knelt beside the kitten and slowly removed the muzzle, brushing his hair back gently and slid his fingers over his ears. “This is your home now, Kurt. You’re mine… Do you understand?” Kurt’s eyes slid over the male before he opened his mouth as if to whine. He lowered his body down and rubbed against the carpet. “You really are in heat, aren’t you?” Kurt nodded, raising his gloved hands up and running them over his ears.  "Alright, let’s take care of that first." Kurt’s eyes were wide, Sebastian was unsure if it was out of fear or shock of a new setting. It didn’t matter, Kurt was just a pet. It didn’t matter if he was unhappy, as long as Sebastian got to fuck him open.  That is exactly what Sebastian did as he grabbed the flailing pet and flipped his body over, no prep involved as he stretched his tight hole with the tip of his cock and then thrust fully in. The kitten’s muted whines were shaking his body as his heat was fulfilled and their bodies quickly made a rhythm. Sebastian’s pants were only lowered enough that his cock and balls hung out, desperate for the sound of flesh on flesh.  "Oh Gods!" Sebastian cried out as Kurt squirted happily over his furry belly. Sebastian ran his hands through the soft fur and Kurt panted, tongue pressed between his teeth, just the tip showing as his eyes glazed over. Sebastian kept fucking him, his hand moving down to entice him back to another orgasm as Sebastian fucked him over and over until he came, deep within the male.  When he pulled out, he assumed his kitten was sated but only two hours later, he’d learned he was wrong as his kitten knelt between his legs and lapped at the straining cock hidden beneath his pants. “Shit kitten. That feels too good.” He gasped and gripped the boys hair. “Kurt… Mmm fuck. You love my cock so much, don’t you?” The kitten only peered up at his new master, entirely devoted to making the man happy. Sebastian slipped his cock out and Kurt pounced. There was no other word for it. And that was how their relationship worked. Every few hours Sebastian had a warm mouth milking his cock or a tight ass he was plunging himself into.  When they had guests, Kurt only had eyes for Sebastian and the package within his pants. He was Sebastian’s and even wordlessly, Sebastian could tell Kurt loved that knowledge. Kurt was a little cock whore and a great cuddler on those cold evenings like tonight when the snow fell gently, covering the ground.  Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!