Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/564705.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M, Multi
  Fandom:
      Glee
  Relationship:
      Blaine_Anderson/Kurt_Hummel, Rachel_Berry/Finn_Hudson
  Character:
      Kurt_Hummel, Blaine_Anderson, Finn_Hudson, Rachel_Berry, Sam_Evans, David
      Karofsky, Sebastian_Smythe, Mercedes_Jones
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_Dark, Explicit_Language, Explicit_Sexual_Content,
      Forced_Threesome, Abusive_Relationship, Hurt!_Kurt, Protective!_Blaine,
      Protective!_Rachel, Romance, Violence, Character_Deaths, Slash, Forced
      Incest, Happy_Ending
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-11-16 Updated: 2012-11-29 Chapters: 2/15 Words: 6143
****** Closet Skeletons ******
by emeyers
Summary
     AU Haunted by past ghosts from five years ago, Kurt Hummel escapes to
     Lima, Ohio where he rebuilds his life and befriends Rachel Berry.
     Along the way, Kurt meets Blaine Anderson, but because of his abusive
     past, he wants nothing to do with him. Blaine, on the other hand,
     wants Kurt and sets out to not only become his friend, but win his
     heart.
Notes
     This is an alternate universe where Kurt's mom never died and his
     father never remarried. Kurt has two older brothers: David (aka David
     Karofsky) and Mike (my own character and no relation to Mike Chang).
See the end of the work for more notes
***** Stop Staring at Me *****
He’s staring at me again.
I slump farther in my seat, hoping to lose myself again in my book, but it’s
useless. I can still feel his never wavering gaze. Why can’t he just leave me
alone? For the last two weeks, I’ve seen him at the library; he always sits
four tables away and when he’s not reading or doing homework, he’s watching me.
Stalking is illegal in all fifty states. He knows that, right?
Tightening my grip on my book, I risk glancing up. Maybe he isn’t looking
anymore. A pair of brown eyes locks with mine. Damn, he’s still looking.
Quickly I duck my head. Why can’t people just leave me alone?
“Hey, Kurt,” a female voice says,
Looking up, I wave to Rachel, one of the librarians and the first person who
had befriended me when I moved to Lima, Ohio five years ago.
“Hi, Rachel,” I say, offering her a brief smile before returning to my novel.
“I see Bowtie Dude is here too.” She slides into the seat across from me,
tucking her legs underneath her before tugging out her scrunchie and fixing her
hair.
I sigh and close my book. I’ll just check it out and read it later in the
comfort of my apartment. No distractions there. “Yep. He’s been here for the
last two weeks too.”
“Maybe he’s looking for an opportunity to talk to you.”
I roll my eyes. “I don’t date.” I cut off her protest with a sharp, “You know
why.”
She nods. “I know that, Kurt,” she lays a comforting hand on my arm, “but don’t
you think you should at least give him a chance? Maybe he’s shy.”
“You’re such a Jane Bennett.” Yes, I’ve read Jane Austen’s “Pride and
Prejudice” and actually enjoyed it. Most males wouldn’t dare admit to something
like that, worried it’d damaged their macho reputation, but I’m comfortable
enough with myself to admit my guilty pleasures.
Rachel looks at me with mild surprise before smiling. “Kurt, if you weren’t gay
you’d be perfect boyfriend material for any girl.”
“Gee thanks.” She and I share a laugh.
Grabbing my jacket, I gather up my books and make my way towards the checkout
line. Rachel and Bowtie Dude follow. While scanning my books, I glance over at
him out of the corner of my eye. His tall and lithe body reminds me of a
runner. Straight, black hair, swept to the side, hangs over his eyes and
accents his boyish looks. Man! He really is gorgeous. But why would he be
interested in someone like me, “the average kid”? At least that’s what he used
to call me. I squeezed my eyes shut.
He’s the whole reason I’m living here.
Though I haven’t thought about him in several weeks; why now?
“Kurt?” Snapping out of my thoughts, I notice Rachel eyeing me, her expression
concerned. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.” With another quick glance behind me, I say my goodbyes and hurry
outside. Stalk Guy trails behind me. Rachel accompanies me to my car where we
wait till Bowtie Dude’s car pulls out of the parking lot and then she pulls me
into a bone-crushing hug.
“Call me if you want to do something tonight. I get off at six.”
“Actually, I’m going to spend the evening reading.”
“Kurt,” she shakes her head, “I’m worried about you. You don’t have any
friends, aside from me, and we don’t really hang out. I only see you on the
days you’re here and when you’re here you spend your time reading. You need to
get out more and socialize. What you’re doing isn’t healthy.”
I dig my keys out of my pocket and unlock my car. “I appreciate your concern,
Rachel, but seriously. I’m not much for socialization. People and I don’t
really get along.”
“Bull shit!” She crosses her arms. “It’s because of…”
“I really need to go,” I say, my eyes narrowing. She knows better than to bring
him up. Giving up, she nods, leaning forward and kissing my cheek and then
waving as I climb into the driver’s seat, switch on my engine, and head home.
Once I arrive, I park in my designated spot, shutting off my engine and then
jogging up to my apartment. After letting myself inside, I switch on my foyer
light and stare at my living room. The carpet’s a mud brown and an old lamp
hangs from the ceiling right above my green with yellow and white strips couch.
Castoffs decorations from garage sales. Nothing that screams, “This is Kurt
Hummel’s place.” Nope, the room, hell my whole apartment is average.
Just like me.
With a sigh, I collapse onto my couch and sink down into the cushions. At least
they’re comfortable. Shooting a quick glance at my clock, I pick up my remote
and settle in for an evening of catching up with my favorite TV shows.
The following morning, my alarm goes off at six am. Yawning, I sit up, throw my
covers aside, swing my legs over the edge, and stand up, stretching. Quickly
showering, I tug on a light pair of jeans and then my favorite black polo shirt
and eat a light breakfast. Paying a brief visit to Starbucks and purchasing my
preferred Green Tea Frappuccino, I drive over to the library. Ever since I can
remember I’ve been a morning person. Rarely are people up as early as me.
However, when I enter the library I’m shocked to see Bowtie Dude arrived first.
I frown. That’s odd. Usually I’m here for a good hour before he shows up.
“Hey, Kurt,” Rachel says as she passed me, carrying a stack of books. “You’re
late.”
I roll my eyes and head towards my normal seat. As I get closer, I notice
Bowtie Dude reading a copy of Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice.” I bite my
lip to keep from laughing. Just then he glances up and spotting me he smiles. I
give him a tentative one in return. He nods towards the empty chair beside him
and then looks back at me, raising his eyebrows expectantly. I slow my
footsteps. Should I? It really can’t hurt, right? He’s not him.
Swallowing hard, I sit down beside him.
Bowtie Dude’s eyes are twinkling. “Hi, I’m Blaine Anderson.” He holds out his
hand and I shake it.
“Kurt.”
“You got a last name, cutie.”
I shoot him a sharp look. “Hummel and it’s Kurt.”
He raises his hands in a defensive gesture. “Sorry, Kurt.”
I nod and stare at my hands, clenching and unclenching in my lap. Why is this
so hard? Conversations never used to be this difficult. Before I was actually a
very laid back and easy-going person and able to talk to anyone…but that was
before him.
“So…uh…”Pride and Prejudice?” Not your normal preferred reading choice.” I want
to smack myself. Not his normal preferred reading? Yesterday I was complaining
about him stalking me and now I’m making it obvious that I’ve been watching him
too? Good job, Kurt. Could you be any lamer?
Blaine laughs. It’s a rich and deep laugh but it’s real and not one of those
polite chuckles people often give to keep others from feeling embarrassed.
“Yes, but I overheard you and your girlfriend talking about it yesterday and I
thought I’d check it out.”
“Rachel’s not my girlfriend,” I say automatically. Blaine’s eyes widen with
interest. My chest tightens. It’s a similar look to the ones he used to give
me.
“Really?”
I shift and grow more uncomfortable, especially when Blaine maneuvers his chair
right next to mine so our legs are touching. I swallow hard and try to calm my
galloping heart. We’re in a public library so Blaine wouldn’t dare try
something, right? I nearly jump when I feel his hand on my thigh. I would’ve
been fine with that, but when he starts rubbing it, his fingers kneading my
skin, I shove away from the table and stand up. Cheeks flaming with
embarrassment, I bolt. Behind me I hear Rachel calling my name followed by
another chair scrapping against the floor and pursuing footsteps. Stumbling
outside, I lean up against the wall and clutch my head, gasping as my head
clouds with unbidden memories.
He slams me against the wall, our naked bodies pressed against each other and
my arms pinned above my head. Moans and groans echo in my ears as he pries
apart my legs before thrusting inside, completely dry. My back arches; screams
spill from my throat. Repeatedly his hips pump against mine, each thrust
growing harder and penetrating deeper.
“Please.” I whimper and wince as his nails dig into my skin. “Please stop. It
hurts, it hurts!”
“Kurt!” Blaine’s voice breaks through my memories. I squeeze my eyes shut and
collapse to the ground. Hesitant footsteps move towards me before I sensed
someone crouching in front of me. “Are you all right?” he asks. I’m thankful
when he keeps his hands to himself this time. An awkward pause follows when I
don’t say anything.
“I uh…I just remembered I had…something to do,” I say, fabricating a lie.
Blaine sees through it. “Look, Kurt, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. If
I made you uncomfortable in any way I didn’t mean to.” He sighs and drops down
next to me, but he makes sure our bodies still aren’t touching. Again, I’m
grateful. “People tell me I have a tendency to come on too strong. It’s one of
reasons I don’t date much.”
“Why have you been following me?” I’ve been dying to know.
He hangs his head. “There’s something intriguing about you. I’ve been trying to
get up the courage to approach you, but until today I couldn’t.”
I stare at him in disbelief. “Me? There’s nothing special about. I’m just
me...”
Blaine’s head snaps towards me so quickly that I leave my sentence dangling.
His eyes are wide and full of anger. Wait, anger? What did he have to be upset
about? “Who told you that?” he asks.
I shrug and turn away. “Doesn’t matter; it’s the truth.”
He shakes his head. “No. No, it’s not.” He grabs my shoulder and turns me so
I’m facing him. Stubbornly, I keep my eyes on the ground. “Kurt, look at me.” I
refuse, despite the gentleness in his voice. “Hey.” He tilts my chin up until I
have no other place to look, but his eyes. “You are something special, Kurt and
whoever told you otherwise can’t see worth shit.”
Despite his abrasive tendencies, there’s a sweet quality about Blaine. Rarely
are first impressions correct and Blaine doesn’t really seem like such a bad
guy. Maybe it won’t hurt for us to be friends.
“Kurt?” Blaine’s voice startles me. Turning to face him, I find him fiddling
with his shirt hem, chewing on his bottom lip and toeing the ground. I frown.
What happened to his abrasiveness? “We really got off on the wrong foot back
there.” Understatement! Taking a deep breath, he continues, “Can we start
over?”
I stare at him not completely sure if I should believe him. Sure he seems
sincere, but should I really trust a guy who just now decides to talk to me
after following me around for two weeks?
“Maybe he’s looking for an opportunity to talk to you.” Rachel’s words flash
unbidden through my memory. Although she made a valid point, do I really want
to get involved? He could be an ex-murderer or even a molester. Wincing, I can
almost hear Rachel’s laughter at my paranoid thoughts. He was right. I am
pathetic. Glancing back towards Blaine, I hold out my hand.
“Hi, I’m Kurt Hummel.”
He heaves a sigh of relief. “Blaine,” he says and shakes my hand, but doesn’t
release it quite yet. Glancing down, I notice how soft his skin is. My eyes
widen and I snatch my hand away, stumbling backwards, my cheeks flushing. Hurt
lingers in Blaine’s eyes. I swallow hard and try to think of something to ease
the sudden tension between us, but he beats me to it. “So what’s your favorite
sport?”
Ah not only familiar and safe territory, but a topic I can handle. “Golf,” I
say, “but not a lot of people appreciate it. You ever played?”
He shakes his head. “I never had the patience for it.”
“It’s a great stress reliever and builds endurance.” The corner of my mouth
curls up in a half smile. I used to think like that too.
“Well maybe you can give me some tips sometime,” he says, his eyes teasing.
“Sure.” I didn’t see a problem with that. “I can do that.”
“Great. How’s tomorrow sound?”
Shit! I should’ve seen this coming. It was so obvious that even a blind person
would’ve seen it! Well, golfing greens were fairly public places and the teeing
grounds were almost always full, so I doubt he’ll have the opportunity to try
anything. I can always ask Rachel to come along too. But…I sigh. Kurt, you’ve
been down this road before…twice. You know how it ends. Save yourself from the
unnamable pain and stay away!
“Sounds great,” I find myself saying and flinch. Why am I such a glutton for
punishment?
* * * * *
I lean up against the library wall and glance at my watch for the third time in
the last minute. Rachel told me she gets off work at 6 o’clock and it’s five
after six now. I cross my arms, my foot tapping as my patience wanes.
“Whoa! Someone’s not in a good mood,” Rachel says as she exits the library
sliding doors. “What? Did Blaine try something?”
“You got any plans right now?” I ask, purposefully avoiding her question. Yes,
he tried something, tried and succeeded.
She eyes me, worried. “Kurt? What’s wrong? You’re scaring me.”
“Blaineaskedmeout,” I say quickly and then add, “Coffee?” before grimacing. He
loved coffee.
“Wait, what now?” Her eyes narrow as she works out what I just mumbled in her
head. I know she’s figured it out when she screams, “Are you serious?”
Wincing, I rub my ears, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment as several people
passing us turn and stare. Rachel, ignoring them, bounds over to me and tugs me
in a tight hug.
“Can’t breathe…need air…let go…”
Immediately she releases me. “Kurt, this is fantastic. Please tell me you said
yes?” I turn away and take a few steps away, my hands buried in my pockets.
“Kurt?” Her voice is hesitant as she approaches and touches my shoulder. “You
did, didn’t you?” I sigh and hang my head. She gasps. “You didn’t?”
“No, I mean yes…I said I would go!”
Her smile returns, wider this time. “So what’s the problem?” Was she really
asking me that? “Okay, okay. I get why you’re hesitant, but, Kurt you can’t
keep walking around with that skeleton in your closet. You’re eventually going
to have to let it out in order to heal.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” I say, my voice increasing in volume as I throw
my hands up in the air. “I know,” my voice softens, “but the scars are still
there.”
“You’re friends with me.” She gives my shoulder a brief squeeze.
“You’re a girl.” Then glancing up and seeing our audience, I lower my voice to
a whisper. Rachel needs to lean forward just to hear me. “It’s guys I have
issues with.”
She pulls me into a friendly hug. “Kurt, at least give Blaine a chance.
Besides,” she steps back and chuckles, “you already said yes. Please just try
it. For me?” She blinks at me flirtatiously.
I shake my head with a laugh. “You know that won’t work on me, hon.”
“Fine.” She sighs, crossing her arms and pouting. I start laughing even harder.
Do girls really think guys are stupid enough to fall for this trick? When I
calm down enough to answer I say I will try, which satisfies her. “Besides, if
he tries anything, I’ll kick his ass. So,” she flips her hand over her shoulder
and smiles at me, “do you still want to go to Starbucks or was that supposed to
be a distraction?”
I offer her my arm. “Shall we?” Linking her arm through mine, we head towards
the nearest Starbucks two blocks away.
* * * * *
Later that night while lying in my bed and watching the clock numbers shift, I
keep thinking about Blaine asking me out. Although Rachel was convinced I made
the right choice by accepting, had I really? Sighing, I switch on my lamplight
and throw my covers off. In for another sleepless night, I pull on my robe
before heading towards the kitchen. I’ve heard people say warm milk helps, but
that never worked for me. Instead, I fix myself a plate of scrambled eggs and
then sit on my couch, staring at the blank TV screen, my thoughts drifting.
Although I started out as a normal kid, my simple life changed after the night
of my sixteenth birthday. After our family dinner, I laid around on the couch
while Mom and Dad went out for coffee with an old college friend visiting from
out of town. Mike had already left to meet up with some girl he was trying to
impress and I didn’t know where David was.
Twenty minutes later David returned and asked if I wanted to hang out. Of all
my brothers, he was my favorite and I’d drop anything if it meant spending time
with him. Even as children we banded together and played pranks on Mike. When I
had exciting news, I went to David. When I realized I was gay, I went to David.
When I was angry or needed advice, I went to David. I went to him for
everything.
David said he needed to get something from the kitchen and he’d join me
shortly. Nodding, I went upstairs and headed towards his room. Tiredly, I
stumbled down the hall. However, before I reached my big brother’s room, a hand
wrapped around my waist while the other closed over my mouth. Eyes widening, I
struggled against my capturer. I did manage to free my mouth by biting my
assailant’s palm. He cursed and withdrew his hand I sucked in air to call out
for David. Yet, that’s when I felt someone grab my hair and bash my head
against the wall; the force knocked me out.
I came to lying on my back on my bed, my arms handcuffed above my head while my
legs were spread and tied to each of my bed posts; I was completely naked.
Again, I tried to scream for help. A gag muffled my cries. A figure stood by
the foot of my bed.
“Don’t bother struggling,” the figure told me, his voice familiar and male. I
whimpered. Feeling the matress sag, I tensed as I felt him crawling towards me
and then straddling my hips; he was naked too! My struggled intensified. “Kurt,
Kurt,” he said and I could almost picture him shaking his head. “Do you have
any idea how long I’ve been waiting for this?” Slowly he ran his hands over my
chest, twisting and tweaking my nipples. I cried out, tears filling my eyes and
spilling over. Why was he doing this? Who was he? What did he want? “Aw, don’t
cry.” Tenderly, he stroked my cheek and wiped away my tears. “I’m going to make
you feel so good.” He shifted slightly and I could feel him near my entrance. I
squeezed my eyes shut. “And don’t worry about Mike. I told him I’d missed you
and he agreed to stay out tonight.” Without another word he thrusted inside of
me. I arched up, screams tearing from my throat, my body shaking as he
mercilessly pounded into me.
“Kurt, oh Kurt, you’re so tight, ah so good,” he whispered, panting next to my
ear, his lips sucking and biting my neck. I lay there helpless as my brother,
David, raped me.
David, my older brother, my protector, my best friend.
A shrill ringing breaks through my memories. I bolt upright, sweat and tears
rolling down my cheeks. Breathing hard, I press my hand over my heart and feel
the pulsing of my galloping heart against my fingers. Momentarily disoriented,
I glance around. I don’t even remember falling asleep. I jump when a loud beat
erupts through my otherwise silent apartment.
“Hey, Kurt, it’s Blaine. I just wanted to make sure we’re still on for today.”
Blaine! Stumbling over my feet, I fumble for the phone. “Hello? Hello?” I say,
my voice cracking. I wince and hope he thinks the crack was from me still being
asleep and not because I’d been crying.
“Hey, Kurt,” Blaine says and I can sense his smile. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”
I glance over at my wall clock and groan. 10:30. How did I manage to oversleep
even after years of training myself to wake up at 6:30? “No,” I rub my face and
yawn, “well actually yes, but I overslept so it’s all right.”
He pauses for a second. “Kurt, are you all right? You sound like you’ve been
crying.”
I bite my lip. Did it really show that much? I swallow and clear my throat. “I
just woke up so that’s why my throat’s scratchy.”
“Okay,” he says, but his voice sounds different like he doesn’t believe me.
“Are we still on for this afternoon?”
“Sure, I guess.” He laughs and goes off about how he’s looking forward to
learning from Golf Master Kurt. I find myself smiling at his nickname; my night
terrors slowly recede into the shadows of my mind.
“All right, I just wanted to check. So I’ll see you around one, at the main
entrance,” he says.
“I’ll be there,” I say and then hang up the phone.
Replacing the phone in its cradle, I make my way to my bathroom. I switch on
the light and immediately throw my hand over my eyes, the brightness hurting my
eyes. When they adjust, I turn on the faucet and wet the wash cloth before
washing my face. Afterwards I stare at myself in the mirror. Damn! I look
horrible. Although I’ve always been pale, my skin has become almost a sickly
pale color. My signature, thick mop of hair lies limp on my head. But, it’s
really my eyes that scare me the most. They’re so dull, lifeless. Hoping to
revive myself some, I switch on the shower, but even the hot spray beating
against my skin does nothing; I still feel the shadow of yesterday hanging over
me, its cold and unrelenting fingers slowly strangling me. I crumple to the
floor, wrapping my arms around my knees and pressing them against my chest.
David, what have you done to me?
***** Web of Deceit *****
Five minutes before noon I find myself waiting in the parking lot of the Lima
Field Golf Course. What am I doing? The thought has plaguing me since I hung up
with Blaine earlier this morning. I shouldn’t be doing this. I glance down at
my car clock. Twelve o’clock. Quickly I look around and when I don’t see Blaine
I grip my keys and go to switch on my ignition—I should’ve never accepted his
invitation. Give him some golfing tips? Could he have been anymore obvious?
Yet, there’s something—something I can’t explain—about Blaine that intrigues
me. Why can’t I just stop thinking about him?
A shadow falls over me and I gasp as someone raps on my window.
Blaine.
“Not thinking of leaving, are you?” he says, a touch of teasing coloring his
voice, once I calm down and climb out of my car.
Without answering I retrieve my golf clubs from my trunk before locking it.
Still not speaking I cross the parking lot and head towards the golf course
entrance. The sooner I get this…whatever the hell it is over, the sooner I can
leave. Blaine catches up with me and grabs my arm, spinning me around to face
him.
“What’s up with you, Kurt? Am I really that boring to be around?”
My cheeks flush and I stare at the ground. “It’s not that…I…I just have a lot
on my mind.”
“Anything I can help with?”
I glance up uncertain. I shouldn’t have involved Rachel with my past, but I
can’t change that now. However, I can still protect Blaine. The less he knows
the less chance David’ll hurt him when he returns. Not if. When.
“Not really, but thanks,” I say my voice barely above a whisper.
Blaine steps closer. I keep moving backwards until my back hits the wall.
Stiffening, I watch as he, with a tenderness reserved for one’s lover, reaches
out and tucks several loose hair strands behind my ear. An unfamiliar emotion
flashes through his eyes before he cups and caresses my cheek with his thumb.
My throat tightens and my eyes squeeze shut.
I shy away, but David presses his body against mine, trapping me against his
bedroom wall and stroking the side of my face. Turning away, I fight my
nauseating urge. Roughly, he grabs my chin and yanks my face around, his lips
crashing against mine, his insistent tongue prying my mouth open. Whimpering
slightly, I push against his chest. He doesn’t move. Seizing my hands, he pins
them above my head, his lips trailing down the side of my neck, sucking,
biting, and bruising my skin.
“Just leave me alone!” I kick his legs and he hisses, stumbling away from me.
“Fuck, Kurt that hurt.” A voice—not David’s, but Blaine’s—startles me. I lean
against the wall, gasping and blinking. Another flashback. I swallow hard. I
haven’t had any for the last three years, however, since Blaine and I’ve
spoken, I’ve experienced three.
Why?
“Blaine, I’m sorry…I…” What? What can I possibly say to justify what I did?
That I’d been reliving one of the many times my older brother raped me? Maybe
being around Blaine isn’t such a good idea. I turn to leave, but he catches my
arm and pulls me back despite my protests.
“Kurt? Seriously man what’s going on?”
I shake my head and struggle to pull my arm free. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have
come.”
Breaking free, I snatch up my golf clubs’ bag, lying discarded on the ground.
Hurriedly I race towards my car, fumbling in my pocket for my keys. Pounding
footsteps echo behind me. Where is…ah there’s my baby! Now all I need to do is
get inside her before Blaine reaches me. Chancing a glance over my shoulder, I
curse when I see him so close. Damn his long legs! He’s gaining. I push my leg
muscles harder. Automatically unlocking my car, I throw open my door only for a
hand to appear over my shoulder and closes it. I tense when I feel his breath
against my neck and jump as Blaine’s hand grips my shoulder in a gentle but
firm grasp and brings me around to face him.
“Kurt, why did you run off like that?” My eyes remain shut. “Kurt?” Lightly he
touches my face. I flinch and he withdraws his hand. “Kurt, I’m not going to
hurt you.”
“Not yet.” I snap my mouth shut. I didn’t mean to say that!
“What are you talking about?”
I look away. “Forget it." I turn to open my door, but Blaine's hand again slams
it shut.
“No you don’t, Kurt,” he said, flipping me around and positioning his arms so
there’s one on either side of my head, trapping me. “You can’t just say ‘not
yet’ and then expect me to forget it.”
“I didn’t mean anything by it. Please just let me go.”
“Kurt…c'mon talk to me.”
Unable to stand his close proximity, I shove him back. Blaine, not expecting
this, stumbles and trips over his own feet, lying sprawled in the parking lot.
Taking advantage of his stunned look, I toss my golf clubs in the back seat,
jump into the front seat, and rev the engine, throwing my car into reverse,
backing up, and then racing out of the parking lot.
Glancing up in my rearview mirror, I see Blaine struggling to his feet and
stumbling into his own car, which ironically was parked next to mine. Quickly,
he pulls out of the parking lot and before I know it, his car is pacing mine,
his window rolled down as he shouts at me to pull over. I clutch my steering
wheel, my knuckles white, and switch lanes, cursing when Blaine follows. Horns
blare; tires squeal; people yell and curse at me.
I ignored them.
Why can’t he just leave me alone? Heart pounding, I cast another look behind me
and sigh as he still manages to keep up. I scan the roads and notice the signal
light up ahead flash yellow. Biting my lip, I press down on my accelerator.
Deep breathes. I’m close enough to make it. Halfway across the intersection the
light changes to red. Behind me, tires screech as Blaine slams on his brakes.
Sighing, I relax into my seat before detouring to the left, then turning right,
and then left again, which leads me to where I ditched Blaine.
He’s nowhere in sight.
Relieved, I activate my Bluetooth and dial Rachel’s cell. She answers after the
first ring.
“Lima Bean,” I say, cutting off her usual greeting.
There’s a quick inhale of breath before she says, “I’ll be there in fifteen
minutes.” With that she hangs up.
I fight back the urge to smile; to most people The Lima Bean is a place to
either hang out or have some quality self time, but to us, it’s our own
personal way of communicating we need to talk. A while later I pull into The
Lima Bean’s parking lot, switch off my ignition, and climb out, before locking
my car and hurrying inside. Rachel’s already sitting at our usual booth, my
preferred Grande Nonfat Mocha waiting for me. I slid in across from her and
take a sip, sighing at the cool, refreshing liquid sliding down my throat.
“Thanks.” Briefly I close my eyes before reopening them and noticing she
doesn’t have a drink. “Still no taste for coffee yet?”
She shakes her head. “So what happened?”
Ah, Rachel, always straight to the point. “Flashback.” Her eyes widen and I
nod. “He touched me and I panicked. Thought he was him and I…I kicked him.”
“Oh, Kurt.” She flinches.
“I’m scared, Rachel. It’s been three years since he’s been in my head and I
thought I’d gotten rid of him, but then Blaine…and now he’s back.” She reaches
across the table and grips my hands. “What am I supposed to do now?”
“I wish I knew, Kurt.” She rubs and kisses my knuckles in a gentle, soothing
motion. Across from us, an older couple glances over and smiles at our
affectionate display. Rachel and I often play on people’s assumptions, laughing
at their reactions when they learn we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend, but
right now I really need the comfort. “Maybe you should tell Blaine the truth.”
My face pales. “No!” Several heads glance sharply at us. Embarrassed, I stare
at my lap. “No,” I say again, lowering my voice.
“Why not? What are you…?” Trailing off, she tilts her head to the side, her
expression thoughtful. I shift, uncomfortable with how she’s eyeing me but
before I can ask if she’s all right, she smiles. “You like him.”
“T-that’s ridiculous!” My eyebrows shoot up in shock. Right I like him so much
that I ditched him when he tried to follow me earlier. “I just don’t want him
to get hurt.”
“Denial.”
“Think what you want, but there’s nothing between Blaine and me.” And there
never can be.
She leans across the table. “Then why are you protecting him?”
“Because I don’t want his blood on my hands and I don’t want him suffering the
same fate Travis and Ben did!”
An awkward silence settles between us. Rachel focuses her attention on her lap,
fiddling with her fingers and plucking at her skirt while I stir my drink and
watch the swirling liquid. “Kurt—”
“You don’t get it, do you? David’s out there, Rachel and he’s going to find
me.”
I bury my face in my arms as I lay my head down on the table. There’s some
shuffling across from me and then my seat cushion shifts before her arms wrap
around my shoulders. Leaning back, my head now on her shoulder, I feel oddly
like a child being comforted by his mother as she smoothed my hair back. “Kurt,
I get it,” she says, her voice soft and soothing, “you’re scared. But I’m just
one person; there’s only so much I can do. You need to tell someone else.”
“They won’t believe me,” I mutter and pull away. “David was proven innocent of
Travis and Ben’s murderers.”
“Kurt—”
“I said no and that’s final.” Standing, I storm out of The Lima Bean.
She follows and glares at me. “Why do you have to be so damn stubborn?”
“All part of my charm, sweetie,” I say with a smirk.
“Kurt. Kurt, wait,” she catches my hand as I turn towards my car. “You can’t
keep dodging this. Their deaths weren’t—”
I spin around so fast she gasps and leaves her sentence dangling. “The hell
they weren’t! I told them everything and look what happened!” I shut my eyes
and look away, a few unbidden tears spilling down my cheeks. “I never should’ve
told you anything, but I did and now your life’s in danger. I won’t make that
mistake with Blaine.”
“Shouldn’t I have a say in my own fate?” A new voice asks. I freeze,
recognizing it instantly. How the hell did he find me? I thought I lost him.
“Guess you weren’t counting on me knowing about your little detour or me
following you, huh?” Blaine approaches us while Rachel glances between us and
moves next to me in a protective stance.
I look around but there’s nowhere to run. “Blaine, you don’t know what you’re
doing.” My voice is weak and raspy. “Please forget about me. I am begging you,
please go away.”
He stops in front of me. “Not happening, Kurt,” he says, his eyes boring into
mine. “I want you to tell me the truth.”
“I…I can’t.” Abruptly I collapse to the ground, pull my knees against my chest,
and bury my face. “I can’t be responsible for your death too.”
His warm breath tickles my ears as he wraps a comforting arm around my
shoulders and holds me against his chest. Protesting, I struggle to break free.
When that doesn’t work, I heave a sigh of defeat and lean into his embrace. An
almost immediate and welcoming sense of comfort and protection washes over me.
“I’m dangerous to be around,” I say, my words muffled by his shirt.
He chuckles and massages my shoulder. “I’ll take my chances. I’m not going
anywhere.”
Rachel kneels in front of me and grasps my hand, her eyes bright with unshed
tears. “Kurt, please just tell him.”
My throat tightens; unwanted images flash through my mind of Travis and Ben
lying face down on the ground, pools of blood and brains staining the ground.
Police ruled both deaths as suicidal, but I knew better; later that night with
David straddling my hips, he told me next time he’d force me to watch if I
dared breathe a word of this to anyone else before he shoved himself inside me.
Rachel finding out had been a mistake. I left my notebook, where I not only
recorded story ideas and rough sketches of my drawings, but also my private and
personal thoughts, out in the open and she read it. Furious I refused to talk
to her, but after a week of not hearing from her and when I learned that she
hadn’t been into work for two days, I tracked her down, fearful of David’s
return. Turns out she’d just had a real, nasty cold. Once better, she
confronted me and I told her everything.
“Kurt?” Blaine’s voice breaks into my thoughts as he caresses the side of my
face. I tense and wait for another flashback. When one doesn’t appear, I relax
but only just. “Please, Kurt. Tell me.”
Tears gather in my eyes. Rachel’s right. I can’t keep fighting this battle by
myself. “All right,” I say and take several deep, calming breathes; here goes
nothing. “What do you want to know?”
End Notes
     This is my first attempt at a Glee fanfiction so please be gentle and
     let me know if it is worth continuing. There are gonna be some
     chapters that are dark in content but this story does have a happy
     (very happy) ending so please give it a chance.
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!