Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/6216931.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      The_Walking_Dead_(TV)
  Relationship:
      Carl_Grimes/Rick_Grimes
  Character:
      Rick_Grimes, Carl_Grimes, Shane_Walsh, Daryl_Dixon
  Additional Tags:
      Dead_Lori, Online_Dating, Dick_Pics, grimescest, Parent/Child_Incest,
      Father-Son_Relationship, Oblivious_Rick, Secret_Relationship, Anonymity,
      Carl_is_16, Public_Masturbation, Texting, Alternate_Universe_-_No
      Zombies, No_Apocalypse, Daddy_Kink, Anal_Sex, Blow_Jobs, Underage_-
      Freeform, dad_jokes, POV_Rick
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-03-17 Words: 24494
****** Close Encounters ******
by RickGrimes
Summary
     Rick decides it's time to move on from his wife's death, so he
     creates an online dating profile with help from his friends. After
     days of anticipation, somebody interesting finally messages him, a
     man with the username ZombieTacos. He has no idea who he's actually
     talking to.
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
              
Rick wasn’t well-versed at this sort of thing. Online dating. He didn’t feel as
comfortable on the Internet as most of his colleagues. He wasn’t sure if it was
an age thing or just his personality; he wasn’t big on technology or over-the-
top electronics. He had a TV, a desktop computer, and a microwave…he was fine.
If he needed to do anything extensive online, he just asked Carl to help—that’s
what sons were for. After all, Lori wasn’t around for that kind of thing
anymore.
That’s why it was difficult for him to set up his online dating profile. He
didn’t have the first clue what the sites were—let alone how to use them. Rick
only decided to get a profile because a buddy at work suggested it. Daryl, his
partner insisted.
“Man, you don’t know what you’re missin’. I swear, if you get lucky you get a
real good one, and then you get lucky ya know what I’m sayin’? Doesn’t really
matter if they’re hot or not, I mean, some people you just talk to, and others
you meet. No commitments. Sometimes I just get bored and wanna chat. All kinds
of people on the internet.”
“He’s so full of shit, Rick,” Shane piped up, “He’s on them things for one
thing alone. He’s lookin’ for someone to bang.” Shane emphasized his words by
thrusting a fist forward.
“Man, shut up,” Daryl argued, turning to Rick, “Look, I’m not sayin’ I haven’t
gone on there ‘cause I was lookin’ for a little action,” he admitted. “All I
mean is that if you happenedto be lookin’ for that kind of thing, you’d find
it, and if you were lookin’ for a nice girl to talk to, you could find that
too, okay? All right? Geez, Shane. Lighten up, man.”
Shane put his hands up in protest, “Fine, I get it. You two’d rather jack off
to some chick’s pictures on the internet than just meet someone the old fashion
way. See, in my day, I didn’t need no computer to get me a girl. Hell, even
today. I just gotta flash those lights right outside,” he said, pointing to his
cruiser, “Right there, that gets me all the women I need. Well, if I didn’t
already have Andrea,” he corrected himself.
Rick shook his head at his friends, “Jesus Christ, I can’t say anything without
the angel and the devil on my shoulder gettin’ into an argument.”
Daryl threw a crumpled piece of paper at Rick, “Am I your angel, Rick?” He
said, batting his eyelashes.
Rick wagged his eyebrows, and then let his smile fade. “Look, I’m serious. I
think Carl’s ready. I think I’m ready to move on in my life.”
Shane and Daryl waited for Rick to continue.
“Lori’s gone. It’s been 7 years. Carl’s 16 now. He’d understand if I wanted to
start dating again.”
Rick shrugged, “I just don’t have the time after work to go out and meet
people. I have to take care of Carl. I have responsibilities.”
Shane nodded, “Andrea and me wouldn’t mind lookin’ after him. If you end up
meetin’ someone and want some time alone. We’d pick him up from school or let
him sleep overnight at our house. Seriously, man. You mourned Lori, of course
you’re gonna feel weird about it, but maybe you do need to move on. Like you
said, Carl’s 16. He can handle it.”
“You don’t think it’s selfish of me to find a new wife?” Rick wondered, “Is it
right to remarry?”
Daryl pursed his lips, “I sure as hell can’t say. I never been married, but I
think Lori would want you to be happy, and do what’s best for Carl.”
Shane laughed, “Daryl, I think I might cry.”
Rick rolled his eyes at Shane despite cracking a small smile, “Well, gettin’
the profile won’t hurt. Not like I have to marry the first woman I meet. I can
start off by talking.”
“You need to get a fuckin’ laptop, man,” Shane said. “I can just picture you at
your computer from 1998, wackin’ it to some grainy picture of tits on the dial
up.”
“Excuse me?” Rick said, “I have Windows XP, and I got Wi-Fi for Carl. He’s got
a laptop.”
“Oh, thank God, you can use his laptop to jack off to pictures of World of
Warcraft or whatever he plays,” Shane cackled. “Get your own man. An iPad, or,
shit, what are those things called? A tablet? You gotta get with the times,” he
snapped. “This is 2016.”
Daryl couldn’t help but laugh with Shane, “He’s right man, sorry.”
Rick threw his hands up, “Why do these conversations always lead to talking
about me jackin’ off?”
Daryl shrugged, “It’s just facts man. After work, I’m gonna hook you up. We’ll
go to the Best Buy downtown.”
Shane scoffed, “Best Buy? Jesus Fucking Christ, I’m done with this conversation
now. I do all my shoppin’ online. Much better deals.”
“How can I order a laptop online if I don’t have a computer?” Rick asked.
Shane frowned, “Fuck off.”
Rick and Daryl high-fived, getting back to work after Shane retreated to the
break room. They had a few more reports to file, and then they were done for
the day.
 
 --
 
“Carl? Are you home?” Rick asked upon entering the front door.
“What’s up?” Carl called from the kitchen, emerging with a bowl of cereal.
“Look what I got,” Rick said, showing Carl his handfuls of bags.
“That’s where you’ve been all this time?” Carl asked. “Shopping?”
Rick smiled bashfully, “Sorry, Carl. It was Daryl’s idea.”
Carl shrugged, “No big deal. You could’ve called or invited me.”
“Yeah, you’re right, son, but that’s another thing,” Rick said. “I picked out a
new phone,” he explained, taking out one of the many packages from the bags.
“Are you serious?” Carl said incredulously, “What happened to my dad? Who are
you?”
Rick laughed, leading Carl into the kitchen so he could place his new purchases
on the table. He had at least seven bags. Carl was extremely intrigued. He set
his bowl down on the counter, waiting for his father to show him what was in
all the bags.
 
“Let’s see,” Carl urged. “This is exciting. Did you get me anything?”
“Hold your horses,” Rick laughed.
“This phone, it matches my new one,” Rick said with a grin, handing Carl the
box.
“Holy shit—sorry, I mean holy crap. Wow, this is amazing,” Carl expressed
gratefully, “Seriously, you have no idea how awesome this is.”
Rick smiled, “Really? I wasn’t sure if you’d like it.”
“How much money did you spend, Dad? This is crazy. Did you win the lottery?”
Rick shrugged, “I’ve been savin' for a while, figured I’d finally use all of
the Christmas bonuses and tax returns on something useful. Plus you’ll be going
away to school soon. You’ll need these things.”
Carl nodded in pleased understanding, "Did you go in your uniform again?"
"I mighta," Rick chuckled.
"Dad, you know people can't resist. You play pretty unfair."
Rick winked, "Gotta work with what you have."
 
Carl hugged his dad before he could even show him the next thing, “Thanks Dad.
The iPhone 6s Plus. Wow. I can’t even. And you got me something else?”
“Apparently, we share the data on it. You just have to take the new phone in
with your old phone and they’ll unlock it or whatever it is that they have to
do, and then we’ll join up our plans. Between the two of us, it’s like 10GB of
data or internet. Something like that.”
“Holy fuck,” Carl said. “I’m sorry,” he said, meeting his dad’s scolding
expression, “I know I’m not supposed to swear, but I can’t even believe this
right now. 10GB! You don’t even know how much I can do with that.”
Rick shook his head, “I’m just glad you’re happy. I wanted to do something nice
for the both of us. You’ve been a lot easier on me than I can say for other
parents.”
Carl blushed, shrugging. “You’re a good dad.”
Rick put his hand on his son’s shoulder, continuing with his show and tell.
“All right, so I got this. A laptop,” Rick said, looking at the box from a
distance. “It’s an Apple MacBook pro laptop.”
Carl laughed at his dad’s explanation, “Cute. I, uh, that’s an awesome
computer,” he finished with a shrug and a smile.
Rick contemplated that response, but he didn’t ask about it, “Next, I got
this.”
“Microsoft Office?” Carl clarified.
“Yes,” Rick said, looking at the package in confusion. “The sales guy said it’s
good for 3 devices, so I got it for us to share.”
“Sweet, thanks, Dad, my Mac can really use an updated version of Word,” Carl
said.
“I got you something else,” Rick said excitedly. Before Carl could protest,
“Get ready,” Rick warned.
Carl smiled brightly, “Seriously? What?” He loved getting gifts.
Carl almost shit himself when he saw the present. “A MacBook Air?”
Rick looked worried when Carl didn’t smile. Was that not a good gift?
“Dad. You are hands down the best ever. You really didn’t have to do this. If
you regret spending the money, seriously, you can take it back. I would
understand.”
“No way, Carl,” Rick argued, “These presents are for you. Besides, you can just
sell your old one if it’s still in good condition and make some money for
yourself. Put it away for school or something.”
“Dad, I don’t know what to say. Maybe I should get a job so I can pay you back
for this stuff or something.”
Rick waved at Carl’s statement, “Seriously, gettin’ these kinds of things for
you…it makes me happy. I don’t spend a lot of money, and the house is paid off,
I got the raise a few months ago. Things are good here, Carl. You deserve a
little treat,” Rick winked.
Carl smiled, “I love you, Dad. Thank you, really.”
Rick nodded, “My pleasure. Now, here’s the catch…”
Carl groaned, “Oh my God, I knew it!”
Rick grinned, “First, get your coat on ‘cause we’re goin’ out to eat, and
second, you’re gonna help me set up all this stuff and teach me how to text.”
Carl froze, getting down on his knees, bringing his hands together as if he
were praying, “Dear Lord, thank you for this beautiful day, where my
technologically incompetent father has repented. The day is upon us, we are
saved. He will learn to text, can I get a hallelujah!”
Rick shook his head, “I can’t escape it. Everywhere I go. Just getting’ teased
constantly all day. Shane, Daryl, You.”
Carl got up laughing, “Seriously, Dad. This is a good thing. You don’t know how
awesome texting is. When we get your phone set up, you’re gonna have a whole
‘nother thing coming. You’re gonna love it.”
“You better be right,” Rick laughed, smacking his son on the butt, “Little
jerk.”
 
---
 
Rick wasn’t expecting just how easy it was to formulate a text message.
Carl was a great teacher, “You don’t need to worry about all of these dumb
short forms people say exist, because they don’t.”
“Really?” Rick asked, “Those always got me. I have no idea what people mean
when they say stuff like ‘ik’ or ‘g2g lol ttc’,” Rick complained.
“Yeah,” Carl said, rolling his eyes, “Nobody even uses those. The only ones you
need to know are lol and lmao really. Here, I’ll make you a list. If I think of
anymore I’ll let you know, but seriously, Dad. It’s so easy.”
Rick squinted at the phone, “So how do I get to that image keyboard again?”
“Image?”
“Yeah, the one with the smiley faces and symbols,” Rick explained.
Carl grinned, “Emojis. Press the world icon next to the space bar.”
“I like the little officer one,” Rick pointed.
“I’ll put that next to your name in my contacts,” Carl grinned.
“Oh, how do I do that for yours?”
“Which one are you gonna use?” Carl whined, “Pick a cool one.”
“I will, just show me first,” Rick said.
After a week of fiddling around, Rick picked it up well. Carl made a point of
consistently texting his father, even when he was at work.
“Daddyo, sup?”
Rick would always reply with the police car icon if he was patrolling or the
man who had his hands folded in front of him as if he was sitting at a desk if
he was doing paperwork.
Carl always liked it when his dad sent him a heart; he thought it was cute. He
especially liked the blue one, and if his dad was in a really good mood, he’d
send the one that had a bow.
Carl’s life was so much easier now that his dad could actually answer the
phone. Before, he had to call the station or Shane or Daryl just to get his dad
to check the damn voicemail. It was the worst if he needed rides or had to ask
for permission. Rick was terrible for answering calls, but with the new novelty
of the cell phone and texting, Rick always replied in a timely manner. Carl
wanted to start sending him snaps, but Rome wasn’t built in one day.
 
 ---
 
Rick waited until he had successfully mastered his phone before he actually
downloaded any crazy apps or got into the dating sites. He brought his gadgets
to work so Daryl and Shane could help him out; he didn’t want Carl seeing any
of that stuff.
“All right, so I got the phone set up,” Rick said, setting down his laptop,
“How do I make a profile.”
Shane grabbed the laptop, “Daryl you get the phone. I’ll do this baby.”
Rick watched both of them work, bringing up sites, app selections, and a camera
program so Rick could take a profile picture. He wasn’t sure if he actually
wanted one, but it couldn’t hurt to take one just in case.
“What do you want your login name to be?” Shane asked.
Daryl asked a question at the same time, “Do you already know how to download
apps?”
“Carl showed me, so if you just want to pick whichever ones…that’d be good, and
then just show me how to work them after.”
“Perfect,” Daryl commented.
Rick answered Shane, “I don’t know, something witty, but not too flamboyant…
what do you think?"
“How about CuffMe?” Shane suggested, “You got your profession there in
innuendo, it’s perfect.”
Rick shook his head, “How about IShottheSheriff?”
“Jesus,” Daryl laughed, “Like you never heard that before. Good fuckin’ luck
gettin’ laid with that cheesy line.”
“It’s a classic,” Rick grumbled.
Shane stared at the blinking cursor, “Got it, DickRyhmes.”
“No, Shane. Please.”
Daryl laughed, “Shit, bro. That’s good. Rhymes and everythin’.”
Rick deliberated, “I really like that show, Breaking Bad. Maybe put something
about that in the name.”
Shane acquiesced, “All right man. Whatever you say.”
“BabyBlueHeisenberg is taken,” Shane said, “Bastards.”
Daryl piped in, “How about LincolnLaw? Sounds pretty cool.”
“Yeah, I like that,” Rick agreed immediately.
Shane nodded begrudgingly, “Where’d you get Lincoln from?”
“Just an actor’s name in some dumb show I watch. Always thought it sounded
pretty cool.”
“All right girls, settle down,” Shane said, “We got a profile to write.”
 
When the profile was done, Rick read it aloud, fairly pleased.
“White, 5’11, fit, doesn’t smoke, atheist, graduated from university, law
enforcement, 1 child, single, between 30 and 40, interested in men,” Rick
recited.
“Shane, you made a mistake,” Rick laughed, “Very funny.”
Daryl shook his head, “Ain’t no way you’re 5’11.”
Rick groaned, “How do I get it to say women?” He asked nervously, wondering if
Shane had done it on purpose. As if he actually knew that Rick wasn’t really
interested in women per se. Obviously he liked women…it was just that he wasn’t
really keen on having another wife. He wouldn’t feel right trying to replace
Carl’s mother, and it just felt like he was betraying Lori.
Shane laughed, “I’d be more worried about that 1 child thing. I don’t know if
anybody’s gonna wanna hit it if you got kids.”
Rick frowned, “Who wouldn’t like Carl?”
“True,” both Daryl and Shane agreed.
“Here man, I’ll fix it,” Daryl offered. “Dickbag,” he whispered to Rick in
reference to Shane when he had his back turned.
“Fuck you, man,” Shane laughed, “I got ears everywhere. I can hear you
mumblin’.”
Rick winked at Daryl.
Daryl changed the profile to show that Rick had no children and was interested
in both men and women.
“Seriously?” Rick asked, although he was grateful for Daryl’s quick thinking.
“Yeah bro, you never know who you’re gonna meet. Fuck, I’ve made a shit ton of
friends on these sites, gay or not, if you wanna go to the races or a game,
people on here’ll go with ya. I’m down. Know what I’m sayin’? Plus, who ain’t
ever thought of experimentin’ a little,” Daryl reasoned.
Shane grunted, “Yeah, yeah. I just don’t want Rick to get the wrong idea of
what this is. Most of these people on here aren’t lookin’ for friends. If you
say you’re interested in guys they’re gonna fuckin’ launch pictures of their
hairy cocks at you, all day all night, man. Are you ready for that kind of
thing?”
“Oh my lord,” Rick laughed, “That can’t be true.”
Shane pulled his phone out, “Look man. I’m not gonna tell you why I have ‘em,
or what the fuck my profile says. Just know, these cocks are not mine.” He
swiped across his phone multiple times, revealing countless pictures of male
genitalia of different sizes, colours, and states.
“I like my women,” Shane announced, “But there ain’t nothin’ better than
stringin’ along some pervert and then sending him back a picture of your own
bigger, longer, juicier, hairier…”
“Enough!” Daryl groaned, “Fuckin’ sicko.”
Rick grinned, “You do that?”
“Why do you think I haven’t killed myself all these years?” Shane joked. “Nah,
Andrea and me do it together. She thinks it’s funny. I ain’t no cheat. This is
the only reason I even have an account on here. Guys get so riled up when they
think they’re talking to some pretty little thing and then they find out they
ain’t the only one in the conversation who has a dick.”
“Here,” Daryl said, giving Rick his phone back. “Now you have a couple of apps
on your phone and your computer. It’s the same thing, and all the information
is the same. If someone sends you a message and you read it when you’re on your
phone, you can reply later on your computer, and you’ll still be able to see
it. For now just use this app,” Daryl explained, pointing to Rick’s phone.
“It’s a wonder he can even do his paperwork here on these old things,” Shane
said, smacking one of the computer monitors. “Guy doesn’t know anything.”
Daryl shrugged, “Took me a while to get the hang of all this too, but Michonne
down in tech got me goin’. Take it a little at a time.”
“Thanks guys, I felt proud of myself for at least understandin’ the email. It’s
not a good feeling when you’re son becomes smarter than you.”
“Speakin’ of your son. You tell Carl about this yet?” Shane wondered.
“I will only if it goes anywhere,” Rick responded.
 
 ---
 
For the first few days, Rick got a few dozen messages:
“Hey let me see a pic. Bet ur super hot.”
“law enforcement? Wow sexy”
“Are you from Atlanta?”
“Hi there LincolnLaw, that sounds like you’re trying a little too hard. Where’s
your pic?”
Rick was a little weirded out when he got his first dick pic. He found that
most of the women were nice and seemed genuinely interested in the finer points
in his profile, and he found the men to be disgusting. He really wanted to make
sure that Carl wasn’t seeing any of this garbage. He was starting to rethink
the 10GB of data he had for grabs. Rick figured Carl had enough to worry about
going to school and meeting actual people—no way Carl needed a dating site. A
handsome young man like that could get anyone he wanted. Rick was quite proud
for the way Carl turned out, if he was being honest.
Every day the guys at work would ask him for updates and all he had to show for
it were 4 pictures of dicks and 1 extremely strongly worded paragraph about
what Jenny from Atlanta wanted Rick to do to her.
After 2 weeks, Rick was ready to give up on the online dating world, but then
he received a message he could actually relate to.
ZT SAYS: Hey, LincolnLaw, how are you? I’m ZombieTacos. I’m pretty new to this
whole thing. Just looking for someone to talk to. No pressure or anything. If
you want to chat, you know where to find me. Take care.
Rick responded immediately
LL SAYS: ZombieTacos, that’s a very interesting name. It’s refreshing to
receive a normal message. I’m very new to this as well. I’d enjoy chatting with
you. I apologize for not having a picture, but I’m just not ready for that yet.
ZT SAYS: that’s cool, same here. Plus I don’t want to say my name either. Kind
of want to be covert if you know what I mean
LL SAYS: I’m just happy not to receive any more pictures of dicks.
ZT SAYS: I get one at least twice a day. don’t worry it’s normal
LL SAYS: It shouldn’t be normal. I had no idea that this was the state of
things in society.
ZT SAYS: ooh ur profile says law enforcement that makes sense, u seem to
actually care lol
 
Rick smiled, but he wasn’t quite sure why being a police officer meant
anything. Didn’t anybody think that sending dick pics was wrong and improper?
 
LL SAYS: It scares me that it’s become such common behavior that people accept
it as normal. I
really don’t think it’s acceptable. I would never send that kind of thing to
anybody.
ZT SAYS: Ya I see what you mean. I agree. It’s just hard to do anything about
it because there are so many people on the internet, and for them to monitor
every convo to see who sends what then it would just become an invasion of
privacy and everyone would be pissed. The only solution is for people to stop
sending them and being weird lmao but that will never happen. Just like guys at
my school. Always obsessed with showing each other their junk. I always
wondered how they have the guts. I couldn’t lol
LL SAYS: You’re right, I never thought of that. It’s really too bad people seem
to have no filter between their fingertips and the keyboard. That’s the only
way to solve the problem.
ZT SAYS: haha yeah
LL SAYS: So your profile says that you're a student. You’re in school? At
university?
Rick was a little disappointed when he didn’t get an answer immediately. He was
getting ready to ask the man what kind of program he was taking. What he
studied. He’d only been to community college himself, and he wondered if the
man was doing something more prestigious. To be in school as an adult meant
that the guy must’ve been in a long program or he had only just gone to
university after a break from high school. Or, maybe the man was only in his
early twenties. Rick felt weird about that. He hadn’t read ZombieTaco’s profile
very carefully, so he wasn’t sure of his age. All he knew was that ZT was
white, between 20 and 30, male, 5’7, thin, single, and interested in men. He
wanted to know more.
 
Rick bit his nails, would this person mind such an age difference? He’d never
gone for the young ones before, but this hadn’t been on purpose. He kind of
liked the idea of a 25 year old or someone just a little younger than him. He
was energetic, so it would be nice to have someone that could keep up with him.
That was why he and Carl got along so well, Rick was young at heart. He loved
spending time with Carl. It was effortless and fun, every time. Carl was Rick’s
favourite person in the world.
Rick put his laptop away, figuring if ZombieTacos messaged him he could just
reply later. Coincidentally, Carl came down the stairs, “What’s for supper?”
“I’m glad you asked,” Rick said. “I’m starving. How do tacos sound?”
Carl grinned, “Yes!”
 
Rick was in line at Taco Bell when his phone vibrated. He smiled, waiting to
read it until later. He had no idea who this person was or what he looked like,
but it was nice to be talking to someone regardless. It brought a certain spice
to his routine life.
Carl was waiting at their usual corner both, phone in hand, texting.
Rick was concerned; now that he knew what the Internet was like, he wasn’t sure
he liked Carl spending so much time on it.
“Who are you talkin' to?” Rick asked, setting down the tray of food on the
table.
Carl flipped his hair out of his face, “Oh just a guy from school. He was
asking about school stuff.
Rick nodded in acceptance, “How’ve you been likin’ your phone. Mine’s great. I
really was missin’ out before.”
The boy smiled, “Dad, this phone is awesome. Seriously. I really appreciate
it.”
“You’re welcome,” Rick said, pleased. He was happy to be out with his son, and
he actually had something to look forward to at home. Obviously Carl was
everything to him, but sometimes Carl hung out with his friends, or Rick had a
day off while Carl was in school; Rick got lonely sometimes. Now he had someone
to message. It brought a new excitement to eating tacos and to the somewhat
mundane life of a small town police officer.
“Tacos are my favourite,” Carl commented. “Ugh, so good.”
“I know,” Rick agreed. Carl said it every time they went out.
 
Rick asked Carl what he wanted to do with the remainder of their evening once
they went home. Sometimes they watched TV, sometimes they did chores together,
and sometimes Rick read or researched while Carl did homework.
“I have a lot of homework, to be honest,” Carl said, “The new computer and
phone definitely gives me tons of reasons to actually do it.”
Rick smiled, “All right, son. I’m gonna be down here doin’ some work. I’ll come
up in a couple hours to check on you, and the work.”
Carl nodded, “I don’t know about me, but the homework will definitely need
checking. Math sucks.”
“I was never a math man, myself,” Rick admitted. “That’s why I’m a cop, don’t
take much of anything, ‘specially around here.”
“Dad,” Carl laughed, shaking his head
 
Rick was eager to open up the website so he could see what ZombieTacos had
responded with.
ZT SAYS: Sorry I was just eating supper.
ZT SAYS: I’m in school. How about you lol? What do you do?
LL SAYS: Don’t worry, I was too. I’m a police officer.
ZT SAYS: Oooo. I wouldn’t say that to anybody around here.
LL SAYS: Why not?
ZT SAYS: People will think you’re trying to get them in trouble, or they’ll
just ask you if you have handcuffs for sex.
LL SAYS: That’s a good point. You didn’t though.
ZT SAYS: I thought about it ;)
ZT SAYS: jk
 
Rick frowned, searching intently for the list of text short forms Carl had
prepared.
“‘Jk’,” Rick read aloud, “Just kidding.”
 
LL SAYS: Lol, for your information, I’m not getting anybody in trouble, and I
do have handcuffs, but I’ve only ever used them on perps.
ZT SAYS: omg, you actually say perps? I know an officer, and he says it all the
time. I just thought it was his thing.
LL SAYS: It’s common lingo, but I do get teased for it. I bet your friend does
too.
ZT SAYS: don’t worry, it’s cute.
 
Rick smiled at the compliment. He remembered how Carl always laughed and rolled
his eyes when he used certain law enforcement jargon. Shane and Daryl
constantly ripped on him for it. That never stopped him; he liked when Carl
smiled, plus Shane and Daryl were just made to give people shit.
 
LL SAYS: How come you’re on a site like this when you’re only in your twenties?
If you don’t mind me asking.
ZT SAYS: tbh, I just get bored of the people I know… I’m not really interested
in people at school, and I don’t get out much lol. Not a lot of opportunity for
meeting people.
LL SAYS: I know how you feel.
LL SAYS: I’m surprised that you messaged me, actually. It’s rare that people
take a chance on profiles with no pictures.
ZT SAYS: Yeah…I actually wondered too. usually I don’t message anybody first.
they message me first and send me pics, and sometimes I answer, sometimes not.
All depends. Something about you just seemed interesting. Idk. Law enforcement,
the cool username, older. But like I said, I wasn’t about to ask you for
intimate details on being an officer. Cuffs don’t excite me that much.
LL SAYS: I always liked the baton myself. Makes the uniform look real good.
ZT SAYS: I can definitely second that. It’s cliché, but a man in uniform… haha
oh boy.
LL SAYS: I’m around them all day, so you kind of get used to it.
 
Rick felt pleased that ZT had made that comment. He thought back to when he'd
first bought Carl and himself all those gifts...how Carl had complimented his
uniform. Maybe there was something to Carl's joke. Perhaps people really did
think it was attractive, and that included ZT.
 
LL SAYS: There’s an option to write a bio and take a compatibility quiz, but I
wanted to keep it simple. So if you want to know anything about me just ask.
ZT SAYS: Will do. Same to you. I didn’t fill out much on my profile either.
LL SAYS: I have to get going soon. Do you have any plans for the rest of the
night?
ZT SAYS: Nah, just some assignments to finish. Maybe some video games. Who
knows. What about you?
LL SAYS: Probably reading. Maybe going straight to bed. When do you think
you’ll be on next?
ZT SAYS: Cool, what book?
ZT SAYS: I’m always on cuz I got my phone on me, so feel free to message
whenever. :)
LL SAYS: It’s just a Stephen King book, nothing grand.
ZT SAYS: Hey man, Stephen King is boss, and any reading is good reading. I like
reading once in a while. I either read like 5 books in 1 week or no books for
an entire year haha. Last thing I read was the Gone series.
LL SAYS: No kidding. I’ve read that. Obviously it’s a bit out of my age range,
but I think young adult fiction is just as good if not better than adult
fiction.
ZT SAYS: Right? Well good night. Like I said, message me whenever. We can talk
more about books.
LL SAYS: Great. :)
 
 
“Hey, Carl!” Rick called, ascending the stairs.
“Yo,” the boy said when Rick opened the door.
“How’s the work comin’ along?”
Carl huffed, “I got a few problems done, but it’s difficult.”
Rick sat on Carl’s bed, looking over his work.
“Hmm,” Rick mused, “Let’s see the textbook.”
Carl watched his father carefully as he examined his work.
“Honestly, Carl. I don’t remember quadratics all that well, but you seem to
have shown your work, and all the multiplication looks good. The graphs look
neat too, whether they’re right or not. Good job. How many questions you got
left?”
Carl smiled, “That’s 1A-G, so now I have 3C-E, and 4A-L.”
Rick raised his eyebrows, “Teacher’s got nothin’ better to do than assign all
these random numbers and letters for homework? Don’t they understand you have
other classes?”
“They don’t care,” Carl shrugged.
“Well, does this math teacher ever check over your work?”
“She assigns us each one question and we go to the board to write it down, then
she goes over it with the class.”
Rick deliberated, “What other homework do you have?”
Carl thought before answering, “A book report for English, and a research
assignment on a non-profit organization for Social Studies.”
“Jesus, I’m glad I’m not in school,” Rick said. “I’ll tell you what. Do 3D and
4A-D, write an intro to your report, pick an organization for the last thing,
and call it a night.”
“Thanks, Dad,” Carl said, “What’s gotten into you? Are you sure you don’t want
me to do it all tonight?”
“Is it due tomorrow, Carl?” Rick asked.
“Just the math. The rest is due Monday.”
“Perfect,” Rick responded, “No reason to work yourself to death. Just do what
you can.”
Carl smiled, “Thanks, Dad.”
“Anytime,” Rick answered. “What do you want in your lunch? I’m going to make
them now.”
“Uhh, anything. Doesn’t matter,” Carl shrugged, “As long as there’s something
chocolate.”
 
 
Rick got back to his computer around 11pm. He wanted to know more details about
this stranger, but he didn’t want to come on too strong and scare the guy off.
He would have to find a balance between being interested and being creepy.
 
LL SAYS: I’m not sure if you’re online or not, but I just wanted to say
goodnight and I hope to talk to you tomorrow.
ZT SAYS: Goodnight :) Sorry you had to be so busy. I just finished my homework.
Are you sure you can’t stay for a bit?
LL SAYS: Maybe a few minutes. I’m exhausted.
ZT SAYS: Me too, but I wanted to ask you another question. Then you can ask me
one more and we can both go to bed.
ZT SAYS: You only have to say yes or no.  We'll be curious and want more
info...Then next time we talk, we’ll have things to ask each other.
LL SAYS: All right. Sounds good.
ZT SAYS: Were you ever married?
LL SAYS: Yes.
ZT SAYS: Now you go.
LL SAYS: Do you find it attractive that I’m a cop?
ZT SAYS: Yes. Ask another, that one doesn’t give you much to be curious about.
LL SAYS: What are you most scared of?
ZT SAYS: My dad dying
LL SAYS: You're right. Definitely curious. I wish I could stay longer.
ZT SAYS: That's okay, I'm definitely ready for bed, plus I have to rest up to
bombard you with questions tomorrow.
LL SAYS: Talk to you tomorrow ZombieTacos.
ZT SAYS: peace
 
Rick turned off all of the lights downstairs and went upstairs to wish Carl
goodnight. He knocked lightly at the door, “Carl?” He nudged the door open and
walked into the dimly lit room.
“Did you get everything done okay?” Rick asked.
“Yeah, thanks for cutting me a break,” Carl replied.
The boy left his desk and went to sit with his father on the bed. Rick put his
arm around him.
“Are you doin’ all right, Carl? Everything at school, your friends, me? Are you
happy.”
Carl shrugged, “I don’t know. Everything’s good I guess. Just normal. School
sucks, friends are okay…I don’t really have any.”
Rick nodded, urging Carl to continue, “I think we’re great. I mean, you
obviously don’t buy me enough presents or cut me any slack when it comes to
school, and you make me do chores all day."
Rick laughed, “Well I just wanted to make sure. If anything’s wrong you can
tell me.”
“I would always tell you, Dad,” Carl promised. “I just…since Mom, nothing
really seems that bad to complain about.”
Rick nodded, “I understand. That’s what I say at work when they ask me how I
am. How could I be any different? I’ve been the same for 7 years.”
“Exactly,” Carl agreed. “Maybe we should go to counselling or something.”
“Ah,” Rick waved the suggestion away, “We’re fine. We have each other.”
Carl smiled, “Are you okay, Dad?”
“I’m lonely,” Rick sighed. “But, I think we have a good thing here. Together. I
don’t feel like I should be lonely. I don’t really want someone new…or have to
go through the whole dating process or anything like that."
Carl was quiet, "You think you'll ever meet someone?
"I just wish there was someone here that wasn’t a stranger who could fix
everything. Do you know what I mean? I don't know. Someone at work that I never
noticed before, or a childhood friend. You know? Sounds kind of dumb when I say
it out loud.”
Carl tilted his head, “I think I get it. You feel like there somebody who’s
been around all along that can make you feel better about everything, like
something’s right in front of your face, but you can’t see it yet.”
Rick nodded, “I couldn’t have said it better."
They were thoughtful for a few minutes, sitting comfortably together. "I don’t
want to put all of this on you. I’m not…trying to find a replacement for her.
I’m not saying you’re not enough in my life, but I feel like my life needs some
new perspective,” Rick said, even though the words didn't come out exactly like
he wanted.
“I would understand, Dad. I don’t want you to be lonely.”
Rick squeezed Carl, “We’ll see what happens, bud. Maybe it’ll be us against the
world for the rest of my life.”
Carl laughed, “Who knows. Maybe I’ll fail high school and have to live in your
basement. You’ll get really disgusting and never find anybody and then I’ll let
myself go and you’ll retire and we can just become hermits and live off your
savings.”
“I thought that’s what we were already doin’,” Rick laughed, “I’ve been in the
process of getting you to fail since September, and all the take out…woo.”
“Oh my God, Dad,” Carl laughed, “Don’t say that, I might actually fail. That
would be so bad.”
Rick shrugged, “I’d still love you.”
 
---
 
Rick felt a little guilty for not being forthcoming with his new friend. He
hadn’t disclosed that he had a son or a dead wife. Those were two major things
that would seriously affect the direction the relationship would take. He
needed to be honest or else he would just be sabotaging himself. He vowed to at
least tell ZT about Lori.
 
ZT SAYS: Hey, where you been? It’s been a day.
LL SAYS: Sorry, I didn’t mean to. Work was busy this Friday. Lots of drunkards.
ZT SAYS: lmao I understand. At least it’s the weekend for you, right?
LL SAYS: finally :) It's good, even though I have to work Sunday night.
ZT SAYS: So, I wanted to ask you…
LL SAYS: ?
ZT SAYS: You were married?
LL SAYS: Yes.
 
Rick sighed, running his hand through his hair. He wondered where this
conversation was going to go. He didn’t really like to talk about Lori, and
discussing her was like a gateway into the topic of his son. Would anybody
accept Carl? Obviously he wouldn’t tolerate anything less, but most people
didn’t want to be with someone who already had a child. He didn’t want to ruin
things with ZT. They were going so well.
 
ZT SAYS: What happened to your wife? I don’t want to pry, but it can really
only go two ways if you’re single.
 
Rick didn’t answer for a minute, pondering the best way to word his response.
 
LL SAYS: She died a while ago. I don’t want to scare you off or anything, but
that’s kind of why I’m here. I didn’t say anything before because it’s not
exactly a pleasant icebreaker.
ZT SAYS: I understand :( Don’t worry. I’m sorry for making you talk about it. I
just wanted to know more about you.
ZT SAYS: I don’t really know why I’m here, but maybe it’s not for me.
LL SAYS: What do you mean?
ZT SAYS: I’m not in desperate need of anybody, but maybe in a weird way I
signed up so that you could meet me and have someone to talk to. Like obviously
I wouldn’t mind going out with someone, but talking to you is probably the only
reason I’ve stuck around this long. It sounds like you don’t have anybody
offline, so maybe it’s for the best. I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but you
get it right. Or do I just sound like a dick?
LL SAYS: It’s all right, really. I enjoy talking to you, and if that’s the
reason you’re here, how could I be upset? You’re the reason I’m still here. I
was about ready to give up on the 2nd day.
ZT SAYS: You've had so much life experience. You've already been married, so
you actually have a reason to be on this site. I don't want you to think that
I'm just talking to you for fun, but that's what being on the site is for. I
just mean, you've obviously been through a tragedy, so we're coming at this
from different angles.
LL SAYS: I get it. Still. I can’t wait until we actually get to know one
another better. Talking about my past seems like a good start since I obviously
have one.
LL SAYS: I do have friends, but nobody I can really be open with. It's good
you're here, even as a friend.
ZT SAYS: I feel like I can talk to you about anything which is why I should
tell you...
ZT SAYS: I know exactly what you mean.
ZT SAYS: My mom died when I was a kid.
LL SAYS: I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t wish loss on anyone. Is that why you’re
scared of your father passing away?
ZT SAYS: He’s all I have left… If I lost him, I don’t know where I’d be.
LL SAYS: I want to say something, but it’s going to be the second bomb I drop
tonight.
LL SAYS: I just think that you should know now before this goes any further.I
really hope you can forgive me for not sharing earlier…
ZT SAYS: You have a kid?
ZT SAYS: I knew it. As soon as you said you had a wife. It only makes sense.
LL SAYS: I’m sorry.
ZT SAYS: I’m right?
ZT SAYS: Fuck. I have to go.

Rick was in shock. He couldn’t believe that he’d just ruined everything. He had
really thought that ZT would be more understanding. He knew realistically that
he couldn't expect somebody, especially someone he’d only met recently to
accept a child that wasn’t theirs into their life, but he had hoped. That was
the dangerous part of this entire game, Rick realized. Hoping. If he had just
kept to himself and if he hadn’t expected anything to come out of this
interaction, everything would still be okay. But now he felt rejected and
lonely. He was back at square one.
“Carl?” Rick called. He wanted his son’s company more than ever despite Carl
being the reason that ZT bailed. He wouldn’t blame Carl for that, though. Carl
came first, and if somebody didn't like that Rick had a son, then that was too
bad.
“What?” Carl responded loudly.
“What are you doin?” Rick asked.
“Nothing!”
Rick shifted in his chair at the kitchen table.
“Get your butt down here.”
“What do you want, Dad?” Carl mumbled.
Rick frowned, “You been cryin’?”
“No, just leave me alone,” Carl retorted, making way to leave the kitchen and
go back to his room.
“I will never do that,” Rick said seriously. “Sit down, tell me what’s the
matter.”
“It’s stupid,” Carl said, pausing in the doorway.
“So,” Rick shrugged. “It’s still important if it made you upset.”
“It was just someone online,” Carl explained.
Rick bristled. Seems like everybody on the Internet decided to be a huge dick
that day. He was angry at whoever made Carl upset. He could take people being
rude to him, but not to his son. No way in hell.
“Do you want to talk about it? I don’t want to see you upset, son.”
Carl shrugged, “It doesn’t matter. It was my own fault.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s embarrassing,” Carl admitted.
“Wanna get some ice-cream? You can tell me about it.”
Carl nodded, his clouded eyes brightening up a bit.
“Great,” Rick smiled.
 
---
 
“So tell me about this idiot online,” Rick urged Carl.
Carl’s eyes flashed to his father’s as he devoured his caramel chocolate
brownie ice-cream cone.
“I’m the idiot, Dad,” Carl admitted. “It was nothing. I’ve been thinking about
it, and I have no right to be upset.”
“I wouldn’t say that. I just wish you’d tell me exactly what was going on,
Carl.”
“I have friends online,” Carl said, gauging his father’s reaction before
continuing. “I meet them through my blog and stuff. You know. Playing video
games too. And one of my friends told me something personal today and I didn’t
react the way I should’ve. I was a dick.”
Rick nodded in understanding, poking at his frozen yogurt with 15 different
toppings. He always made the mistake of putting too much candy and not enough
dairy into the bowl, and then all of the toppings got frozen and chewy, and he
couldn’t finish them without hurting his teeth.
“What did your friend say?”
Carl shook his head, “Just a secret.”
Rick frowned at his son’s secrecy, but he couldn’t exactly blame him for having
friends on the internet. He was doing the same thing. Suddenly it occurred to
Rick that he might search his son’s computer one of these days. If he could
guess the password, it wouldn’t be that hard to navigate Carl’s laptop.
“If you were in the wrong, then at least you can admit it to yourself.
Apologize and make amends. Share something about yourself to make your friend
not feel so stupid for sharing with you. I’m sure this person will forgive
you.”
Carl seemed to accept the response.
Rick wished somebody would have this conversation with his internet friend. How
could anybody blame him for not sharing that he had a child when ZT’s reaction
to the news proved his reasoning to be sound? If this was what everybody’s
reaction was going to be to finding out about Carl, then Rick would rather not
be on the sites in the first place. It was just setting himself and others up
for disappointment. He had bigger problems with his son, as it seemed, anyways.
Carl was being secretive and mysterious for no reason, and that was unusual.
Rick always thought he could count on Carl to tell him everything. Why didn’t
Carl trust him anymore?
“Carl, why aren’t you telling me the full story? Don’t you trust me?”
Carl looked guilty, “I want to, Dad, but I’m just not ready. I want to figure
out what I’m going to do about this first. I just don’t feel right talking
about someone else’s secret. You know? I’m sorry. It has nothing to do with not
trusting you. Really. Sometimes there are just things you have to keep to
yourself. There are probably things you don’t tell me,” Carl said with a sly
smile.
Rick shook his head, “Well all right, you got me. Let’s get goin’.”
“Can I finish that?” Carl asked, pointing towards Rick’s dessert with a grin.
“Sure you can,” Rick smiled. He would be okay. He had Carl.
 
---
 
Rick couldn’t believe it when his inbox had a notification. From ZT. It had
only taken 1 day, but it seemed as if ZT had gotten over his issue. Or he could
be back to give Rick more shit... The man took a breath before he opened the
message.
 
ZT SAYS: so, you have a kid.
LL SAYS: Yes, I have a son.
LL SAYS: Does that bother you?
ZT SAYS: It did. But now I realize I made a mistake. I’m not bothered anymore.
ZT SAYS: I’m just really sorry for what I acted like.
ZT SAYS: It was just a bit of a surprise. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt
you or make you feel bad for keeping it a secret. I know why you did it.
ZT SAYS: Does having a son bother you?
LL SAYS: Never. Even after what happened between us, I would never feel guilty
about having my son. I’m glad you came around, and I’m sorry for keeping it a
secret, but what happened is why I did keep it a secret. I wanted a chance, and
if you had seen that I had a son from the beginning, I’m not sure you would’ve
given me one.
ZT SAYS: It sounds like your life is a lot like mine. It’s just me and my dad
too. He never remarried either. Do you ever talk to your son about what
happened with your wife?
LL SAYS: I could never figure out how to do it, no matter how many books I
read. Thankfully he didn’t push me away when it happened, but we became closer.
I don’t know how I would’ve got him back if he checked out.
ZT SAYS: My dad was really depressed. Mostly angry. But I could tell he needed
my help, so I just kept bugging him until he came around. Now we’re bff lol
LL SAYS: Thank goodness for sons like you and like mine. I never thought about
it like being best friends, but now that you say that, I can see how that might
be.
ZT SAYS: :)
ZT SAYS: how old is he?
LL SAYS: 16
ZT SAYS: wow, interesting.
LL SAYS: I was practically a teenager when he was born, but I’m glad it
happened that way. I wouldn’t want to be and old man changing mine and my son’s
diapers.
ZT SAYS: lmao ew, definitely not
LL SAYS: Do you have this messaging system on your phone?
ZT SAYS: sure do, why, you gotta go?
LL SAYS: Just for a while. I have to pack tomorrow’s lunch, stuff like that.
ZT SAYS: np! I’ll be here when you come back. Just doing homework and things.
LL SAYS: bye ZombieTacos
LL SAYS: You have no idea how glad I am to hear from you again.
ZT SAYS: cya LincolnLaw ;) I missed you
 
LL SAYS: Just finished packing my lunch. You still awake?
ZT SAYS: I’m always awake lol. How’d it go?
LL SAYS: I really need to get to the grocery store. My lunch food selection
isn’t ideal.
ZT SAYS: I kind of have another question for you, if you don’t feel weird about
answering. I promise I won’t be a dick like last time.
LL SAYS: I told you, you don’t have to feel bad about that anymore. It’s done,
and I forgive you.
LL SAYS: Ask me whatever you want. Seriously.
ZT SAYS: How come you’re not just interested in women? On your profile it says
men and women, and I don’t want to be too personal, but was that something you
just thought about after your wife…Idk, do you understand what I mean? I’m not
trying to be rude.
LL SAYS: It’s okay. I’ve always known that I wasn’t attracted exclusively to
women, but I just happened to marry one, and I was never dissatisfied. After my
wife, I just figured I could never replace my son’s mother, so it would be
better to explore another side of myself, this way my son might accept a new
partner more readily.
ZT SAYS: I understand. Thank you for answering. It makes sense. I’ve always
just been gay. Maybe one day I’ll discover new tastes, but I am very confident
that I like exclusively men.
LL SAYS: Lucky for me :)
ZT SAYS: Do you have a question for me?
LL SAYS: Where are you from? (Sorry, couldn’t think of anything serious)
ZT SAYS: It’s okay, we have enough seriousness in these convos.
ZT SAYS: I’m from a really small town near Atlanta. I’m not sure if I should
say exactly where. Idk, I’m not scared to tell you, but I don’t want anybody I
know in real life to find out who I am. It’s just such a small world, what if
you knew someone I know and put pieces together?
LL SAYS: You’re right. Now that you mention it, I don’t have Atlanta’s size to
hide me from acquaintances. If anybody knew where I lived and found out I was
an officer, they’d only have 10 people to sift through before they knew it was
me.
ZT SAYS: I feel like a dick. I just don’t want anything to get awkward, even
though that’s what I just did. Ugh I’m such an idiot.
LL SAYS: Don’t say that, it makes perfect sense, and you didn’t offend me.
Don’t worry. Let’s just say that we both live close to Atlanta.
ZT SAYS: How about we talk for a couple more weeks, and then maybe we can tell
each other where we’re from. Maybe even names…ahah that’s scary, but someday we
should.
LL SAYS: Sounds like a plan. I want another question. A redo.
ZT SAYS: Fair, go ahead.
LL SAYS: How much do you still miss your mom?
ZT SAYS: I used to cry for her during the first couple of months, but I could
tell it was hurting my dad, so I just kind of stopped. Eventually it got really
easy to handle, and now I remember and miss her, but I only cry when it’s her
birthday or when I see stuff to do with moms lol. It gets easier, but I’ll
never really get over it. Having my dad helps a lot.
LL SAYS: Sorry that it had to happen to you. I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.
ZT SAYS: It is what it is. I think my dad took it harder than me. I always
wonder what he feels like about the whole thing, but we don't talk much about
it. We kind of pretend it never happened
LL SAYS: Everybody has different ways of handling things. As long as you and
your old man are close, then I guess that's all you can ask for.
ZT SAYS: true.
LL SAYS: All right, I think it's time to turn in.
LL SAYS: Goodnight
ZT SAYS: Thank you for today. Goodnight.
 
Rick closed his laptop, getting up from the couch and stretching. He and ZT
didn’t really know many details about one another despite  the depth of their
conversations; he didn’t know the man’s exact age or what kind of family he
had, or whether he preferred horror movies or action movies, or what he wanted
to do with his life, but he could definitely say that what they had was enough.
The man seemed to be so understanding and open-minded. So nonjudgmental and
fair… Rick hadn’t experienced that kind of ease or friendliness in a while.
Someone who understood loss as well? Rick couldn’t wait to learn more about his
new friend.
 
 
For the next week that Rick chatted with ZombieTacos, all he could think of was
what the man’s name was. Where he lived. What he was taking in school. Whether
he’d ever had a boyfriend before. But Rick didn’t want to make the guy
uncomfortable by asking the questions directly, especially after what he’d said
the last time, when Rick asked where he was from.
They talked more about their personal lives, save all of the names and
identifying details, and more about the future. But everything was always if we
meet,or maybe one day.They talked about vacations they'd like to take, what
Rick would do if he wasn't a police officer, random memories, books... pretty
normal stuff. Through all of that, Rick learned nothing of substance from his
mystery man. Sure it was great that ZT wanted to go on a road trip and he'd
love to see Europe....but Rick wanted to know his family, his friends, what his
name was--the little details were what mattered most to him. Rick would trade
every bit of random info ZT would ever send him if he could just know his damn
name, or what he was majoring in at school. Then again, Rick did enjoy knowing
the few things he did know... The secrecy was a turn on , but it was also
deeply frustrating. He figured ZT had learned some tricks from Carl or
something with the way he evaded questions and giving explanations.
 
Although, how could Rick complain about ZT when he obviously adored the guy.
Rick had grinned for an entire hour when ZombieTacos said he didn’t even answer
other messages anymore. They were basically exclusive, especially considering
that Rick had never really answered anybody. The more he talked to ZT, the more
he became desperate to know more.
Rick didn’t want to be one of those assholes who asked for a picture,
especially a sexual one. But if ZT didn’t want to say his name, he most
definitely wouldn’t be taking a picture of his face and sending it. It seemed
as if Rick couldn't ask anything without making ZT uncomfortable. Sometimes it
worried him, but it didn't stop him from talking to the man.
 
LL SAYS: I have a few minutes before I have to pick up my son from school
ZT SAYS: Lol, I’m in school rn. It sucks. Any plans tonight?
LL SAYS: Nah, how about you?
ZT SAYS: We’ll see what my dad says.
LL SAYS: So I’ve been meaning to ask you. Do you live with your dad? You
mention him a lot as if you do, but I just figured since you were going to
university you might live on your own or with a roommate.
 
 
Rick waited, but ZT didn’t respond for a while. He had to put his phone away
and drive to the high school, so he would have to wait. Maybe ZT was caught
texting in class and had to stop.
“How was school, Carl?”
The boy shrugged.
“What’s wrong?” Rick asked.
“How are you supposed to tell somebody the truth when you know it could make
them upset?”
Rick thought, “Well, you just have to do what you know is right. Don’t worry
about what somebody else thinks. If you need to tell the truth, tell it. If
they’re a good person, they’ll forgive you for lying, and if they’re not,
they’ll be angry with you—maybe to the point of never forgiving you, and then
at least you can know that you were brave enough to be honest.”
Carl nodded, “Yeah. I guess. And before you ask, it’s nothing. I just want to
figure it out first, and then I’ll tell you the whole story. It’s not a big
deal. Just kind of need some time to think about how I’m gonna do this.”
“What happened? Someone at school or is that online friend again? I’m worried
about you, Carl. Maybe you shouldn’t be talking to this person if it’s
stressing you out so much.”
“No, Dad. It’s not like that. It’s a good thing. After the last time, we’ve
become much better friends. It’s like me acting like a jerk was a good thing. I
just want to make sure I don’t do it again.”
Rick looked at Carl, bewildered, “I don’t know what’s going on, but I hope you
plan on tellin’ me soon. I’m gonna have to get Daryl and Shane to tail your or
something. Get Michonne to hack you, then maybe I’d know what’s going on with
you.”
Carl's face became extremely defensive, and he shifted in the passenger's seat
to face Rick and argue, but before he could say anything Rick stopped him,
“Don’t talk. Think.Take your time, Carl, figure out whatever you need to and
get it sorted out. I’ll be here. I want you to talk to me instead of asking for
advice in a roundabout sort of way and then disappearing. I want to know what’s
going on in your life. That's why I suggested tailin' you. It'd be the only
damn way to find out anything about your life.”
“I promise. It’s not anything bad. Please. I’ll tell you later. I’m just not
ready to tell you yet. Can’t you understand that? I need time.”
“Just as long as you’re not in trouble or anything.”
“No, nothing like that,” Carl assured his father.
Rick wondered at first if Carl was being dishonest, but he knew that was
unlikely. He could always tell if Carl was lying, and it seemed that the boy
was being truthful—he really just wasn’t ready to talk about what was bothering
him. Rick smiled to himself, poor kid probably had some secret girlfriend that
he was talking to. He was probably embarrassed. If only Carl knew what Rick was
getting up to…maybe Carl wouldn’t feel so bad talking about his problems; Rick
imagined they were probably similar to his own. That didn’t exactly comfort him
when he thought of the kind of perverts his son could be encountering. Rick
would give Carl a bit more time, and then he was demanding answers. If
necessary, he’d even give some answers of his own. It was only fair.
 
Carl was distant for the rest of the evening. Rick allowed him his space,
letting Carl go up to his room to eat by himself. Corndogs and fries didn’t
really need to be eaten at the table anyways.
Rick sat on the couch, flipping through the channels to choose a show before
digging into his plate.
He settled for You've Got Mail.He liked Tom Hanks and hadn’t seen it in a
while. It had only just started, to his delight. As he watched, he laughed at
himself for choosing a movie that fit his life so accurately. Seeing the
miscommunication and mystery of the two characters in the movie made him hyper
aware of the mystery in his own life. Who in the hell was ZombieTacos? He
needed something.A single grain of information. Hair colour, favourite movie,
favourite band…age and location would be an even better start. Rick grabbed his
phone from his pocket. It was about that time.
 
LL SAYS: How are you today?
 
ZombieTacos replied immediately.
 
ZT SAYS: Hey, I’m ok. Hbu?
 
Rick smiled, settling into his spot on the couch. He was quick to pick on the
meaning of ‘hbu’ and was probably a little too self-congratulatory.
 
LL SAYS: I’m all right. Just watching a movie. Anything wrong in particular?
ZT SAYS: Cool what movie?
ZT SAYS: Nah, just glad to be talking to you.
 
Rick smiled, pleased. He had been looking forward to this all day. Maybe he'd
get further with ZT than  he did with Carl.
 
LL SAYS: You've Got Mail. Nothing else was on, plus I actually do like it.
ZT SAYS: Nice. I’ve never seen it, but I know Tom Hanks is in it. I totally
love Tom Hanks.
LL SAYS: Me too. He’s one of my top 5, for sure.
ZT SAYS: :)
ZT SAYS: Can I ask you a question?
LL SAYS: Of course.
ZT SAYS: Are we just friends? Talking? Or do you think this will actually turn
into something?
LL SAYS: I think for now we’re just talking, but I’d definitely be up for more.
Really all that’s stopping me is having a son. I don’t want you to feel
pressure or think I expect anything of you, and I wouldn’t want him to feel
weird about the whole thing. Especially since you're just in your 20s...
LL SAYS: But, if any of that is bothering you…I talked to my boy the other day,
and he wasn’t opposed to me finding someone new. So I guess it's up to us where
we want to take it. What do you think?
ZT SAYS: I don’t know what it is, but I really like you. I know we haven’t been
talking for that long, but I feel so close to you already. Maybe it’s weird,
but you remind me so much of my father. That probably says something about me,
but you get it. You’re familiar, in a good way.
LL SAYS: I understand. Talking to you is the highlight of my day, even if we
don’t say much. I just like to know you’re there. I just wish I could get some
answers from you, and then I could give you some of my own answers. I think
before we even consider moving forward, we should trust each other more.
ZT SAYS: What do you want to know?
 
Rick deliberated. Would he actually get answers, let alone truthful ones?
 
ZT SAYS: I know I’ve kept a lot of things secret, but it’s not because of you.
I just don’t want anybody to know who I am. It would get back to my dad, and he
wouldn't like it
LL SAYS: I wouldn’t tell
 
Rick noticed ZT’s mention of his dad again. Obviously ZT lived with his father,
but if ZT was in university, wasn’t it a little too much for him not to be
allowed on dating websites?
 
LL SAYS: Besides, you’re probably a little too old to not be allowed on dating
websites. I'm sure he's not that controlling.
ZT SAYS: I wouldn’t want to risk it…especially with what you know dating
websites are…especially since he doesn’t know I’m gay.
LL SAYS: That’s right. I’m sure he wouldn’t want to know you were being
bombarded by disgusting pigs all day. It’s easy to forget since I blocked
everybody except you.
LL SAYS: Maybe you should tell him. I’m sure he would accept you if what you
tell me about him is true. He adores you.
ZT SAYS: Idk. Maybe. :( I really want to tell you my name, but if you’re cop,
you could find things out lol. You could know me or my dad, and then…Idk. I
just want to wait. I hope it’s okay.
LL SAYS: Hey, I’m not exactly forthcoming either. I enjoy privacy. It keeps
this fun too. Don’t ever be sorry for not telling me things. I get it.
ZT SAYS: Thank you. I promise I will tell you soon, just… Maybe once I’m sure
my dad would be cool with it, or maybe once I know for sure you’re ready for
this.
LL SAYS: I want you to be ready. You’re obviously young. I don’t know how
young, but younger than me. My son is probably not much younger than you… maybe
7-10 years? I want you to be ready. I’m not a love ‘em and leave ‘em kind of
guy, and I don’t want to start something just for it to end in a few months.
ZT SAYS: I understand. I’m not interested in anything short term either…that’s
why I freaked out that you have a son at first…I was wondering if I could
handle it.
ZT SAYS: I’ve had a boyfriend before. Once.
 
Rick frowned. Boyfriend? Who?
 
LL SAYS: Really?
ZT SAYS: Yeah, when I was 15. It lasted like 2 days.
LL SAYS: What happened?
ZT SAYS: The guy decided he didn’t want a boyfriend. He just wanted to fuck.
 
Rick was torn between anger and intrigue. Was his friend used or did ZT know
better?
 
LL SAYS: I’m sorry. :( He didn’t make you do anything did he? Or did he tell
you this before anything happened.
ZT SAYS: Will you be mad?
 
Rick glared into space. He hoped ZT’s story wasn’t too bad. He was going to
have to demand answers so he could find the guy and fuck him up. If ZT had only
been 15 when this happened…maybe there was a serious offender lurking about.
 
LL SAYS: I just care that you’re okay with whatever it is that happened.
ZT SAYS: It wasn’t a big deal. He just had me suck his dick. Obviously I wanted
to, but I hoped it would get me somewhere. Both times it happened he just kind
of left. Then he decided he wanted to fuck me, and I figured 2 days in wasn’t
enough for that kind of thing. Idk, maybe I was being selfish
LL SAYS: Was this person 15 also, or older?
ZT SAYS: He was 16.
LL SAYS: Asshole.
LL SAYS: And never say that you were selfish again. If you entered into a
sexual relationship, mutually agreeing that it would be reciprocal, then it's
flat out rude for the other party to not reciprocate once he's gotten what he
wanted. That's using you, and that's unacceptable. I'm glad you knew to stand
up for yourself. I'm proud of you.
ZT SAYS: Lol. It’s okay. He doesn’t bother me anymore.
 
Rick tilted his head in thought. Did that dickhead still go to school with ZT?
 
LL SAYS: Well I hope he didn’t follow you out of high school. Hopefully he
dropped off the face of the earth.
ZT SAYS: Ahh, I see him around once in a while. Nbd.
LL SAYS: if you’re sure. Just give me the word and I'll find him.
ZT SAYS: :) maybe someday
 
Rick didn’t answer for a while, wondering where he should lead the
conversation. Poor ZT. Rick didn’t like that someone had used his friend. It
disgusted him. Maybe he was jealous too, but mostly angry for ZT. Poor guy.
 
LL SAYS: Was that you’re last relationship? When you were 15?
ZT SAYS: Yeah
LL SAYS: Wow, that’s a long time.
ZT SAYS: Meh lol. I don’t really like many people. Just waiting for the right
one.
LL SAYS: Me too.
ZT SAYS: Uhm can I ask you something else?
LL SAYS: Anything
ZT SAYS: Can I send you one of those pictures we hate so much? I think that
would be a great first place to start our transition from friend to friend+.
Everything we talk about is depressing or idk deep. We should do something fun.
 
Rick’s eyes bugged out at the computer. Holy fuck. He was going to get to see
ZT naked? He could barely contain himself.
 
LL SAYS: Am I dreaming? Today’s my lucky day. By all means, send away.
LL SAYS: Do you want one back? Or… I’ve never sent one before.
ZT SAYS: ;) ;) yay. Yes I want one too. please and thank you
LL SAYS: :)
 
Rick could feel the beginnings of an erection. His hardness grew significantly
once he concentrated on his mental image of ZT’s body. Rick went into the
bathroom so he could use his cell phone to take the picture. He would have to
test different angles since he didn’t have the first clue of how to do this.
The man had his cock in hand, testing different angles to make himself look
bigger, not that he really needed to do that. Carl had shown him once how to
use the front camera to take selfies, but he’d only done it once after that to
see if he had anything on his face after lunch. He was grateful when he got it
right on the first try. He already had 20 different pictures ready to send, and
he leaned against the bathroom counter in anticipation of ZT’s first picture.
Rick’s stomach tingled when he got the notification of ZT’s message. He was
nervous to see the picture in case his expectations of what his ‘friend’ looked
like were inaccurate.
Rick readied himself to look at the photo.
“Shit,” he breathed, scrolling through the 4 pictures ZT had sent. Rick was
anything but disappointed.
ZT was pale, thin, and not very hairy at all; he barely looked 18. Still, Rick
had to admit he was completely turned on. Rick agonized over the pictures for
at least  a few minutes before doing anything.
ZT had sent one picture of his lean chest. Rick marvelled at the flawless skin
and the understated definition of the man's body. Rick looked at it closely,
wondering if he'd ever seen that body before.
 
ZT SAYS: Picture Message 1/4: CRTL+S to save picture to computer
 
Really, Rick was more tempted to call ZT a boy or even a teenager with the
young appearance of his body, but he guessed ZT was a late developer—and maybe
he was closer to 20 than 30. Rick wasn’t bothered, especially when he looked at
the shot of ZT’s silhouette, and two pictures of his dick. He immediately
noticed that the man’s dick was circumsized, and of decent length. He couldn’t
help but feel a little pride that he was bigger, but then again ZT still had
growing to do, apparently. All Rick could think about was taking ZT into his
mouth. Rick was practically salivating at the images. ZT had a nice body, and
he definitely wanted to get his hands on it.
 
 
LL SAYS: WOW
ZT SAYS: Your turn ;)
LL SAYS: I’m in shock. You’re so incredibly hot. I was not expecting that
ZT SAYS: ;) thank you :$
 
Rick was no longer satisfied with his pictures. He stood up, taking a shot of
his chest, but then he decided against it. What if ZT thought his bullet-hole
scar was ugly? Rick retook the shot, angling out the scar and just focusing on
his pecs and stomach. He didn’t think it was anything special, but that was
life. Next he took a new picture of his dick. He imagined that ZT was there
with him now. He couldn’t remember being this hard in a long time.
 
Rick closed the toilet seat and sat on top of it. He sent the two pictures,
thinking they were at least adequate. The man grabbed hold of his cock, jerking
it fast with his right hand while he held ZT’s pictures in his left. Before he
came he swiped up to bring the camera back. Rick snapped multiple photos of
himself coming. He sent ZT the close up and the full view of his load spattered
across his stomach. He hated to admit that he could see the appeal of
exchanging photos. He was turned on and ready for another go, but he restrained
himself so that he could see ZT’s response. He cleaned himself up and put his
clothes back on.
 
Rick was too embarrassed to look at all of the pictures, but he reviewed the
harmless one of only his chest, double checking that his scar wasn't visible.
LL SAYS: Picture Message 1/3: CRTL+S to save picture to computer
 
ZT SAYS: Holy fuck. You’re the hot one.
ZT SAYS: Omg, you came?
LL SAYS: I was looking at your pictures.
ZT SAYS: You’re supposed to be older! How did you get so lucky? You’re fine!
You're like toned and tanned and sexy wtf. Not what I was picturing at all.
You're a total dilf.
LL SAYS: My luck has everything to do with you messaging me. ;)
 
Rick had no clue what dilf was, and Carl's short-form sheet said nothing about
it.
 
LL SAYS: What does dilf mean?
ZT SAYS: dad i'd like to fuck
 
Rick felt new life come into his dick. Did ZT actually just say that?
 
ZT SAYS: seriously tho. How are you so hot? Is it the police work?
LL SAYS: I thought I was average, but I guess it must be. Although cops don’t
really do much but sit there. I should know.
ZT SAYS: Omg, my dad says the same thing. It’s not true. Some of the greatest
people I know are police. They’re not lazy. I mean, some of them are and some
of them are crooked, but the ones in my town are awesome. I bet you’re just
saying that. You probably do a lot of hard work. Plus you have to work shitty
hours. You should respect yourself and your job more. Give yourself more
credit.
LL SAYS: Do you want to be an officer? I'd certainly respect you. I couldn’t
imagine anything more incredible than you in a uniform.
ZT SAYS: Don't give me any ideas.
ZT SAYS: Ehhh. I thought about it, but.. idk if I should tell you this, but
ZT SAYS: the cop I know is my dad.
ZT SAYS: anyways, I don’t want him to think I’m copying him or anything. Plus I
don’t really want to move towns, so we’d end up working together, and I
wouldn't want to make him look bad or anything
LL SAYS: I see now why you don’t want me to know your name. You think I might
actually know your father?
 
Rick was a bit disappointed with the turn of the conversation. His mind was
still wrapped around the sight of ZT’s lithe body. He was interested in dirty
talking now, but somehow he and ZT always ended up in deep conversation.
 
LL SAYS: You should do whatever you want to. I’d love it if my son became an
officer, but even if he didn’t, I’m sure he’d be great at that too. You both
have so many similarities, and I think he’d make an excellent officer. I have
no doubt you would too.
 
Rick was about to tell ZT that he’d been shot before, and that maybe the danger
wasn’t always worth it, but ZT responded before he could send it.
 
ZT SAYS: Thank you. I have to go now, sorry. I’ll talk to you later. <3 thank
you for the pics
Rick deleted his words.
LL SAYS: That’s all right. Have a good night. Thank you for the pictures. Wow.
They were really something.
 
 
Once ZT logged off, Rick put his phone back in his pocket and emerged from the
bathroom. He had just missed the ending of the movie, so he flipped through the
channels to find something else.
“Carl!” Rick called.
“What?” Carl asked, coming into the living room from the kitchen.
“Christ, I thought you were upstairs.” Rick said, putting a hand to his heart.
Carl laughed, “Just came down for a drink.”
“Came out for air is more like it. You’ve been in your room for hours. What do
you do up there for so long?”
“I could say the same to you. What do you do downstairs all the time? You’re
always on your laptop now. You never even come up to ask me what I’m doing
anymore. It’s unsettling. You don’t even tell me what to do.”
“Did you finish your homework and clean your room?” Rick inquired.
“Yeah,” Carl responded.
“Then what is there for me to do? You’re too good of a kid. It’s unsettling.”
Rick turned back to the TV, “Wanna watch TV with me?”
“Yeah,” Carl nodded, “That’s why I came down.”
Carl sat down, extending his legs across the couch so he could rest his feet on
Rick’s lap
“What do you wanna watch?” Rick asked.
“I don’t know,” Carl shrugged, “What’s on?”
“How about a game show?”
“Jeopardy on?”
“The game is on,” Rick corrected slyly, settling into the couch.
“Oh I see,” Carl laughed, “You think you’re smarter than me? Okay Dad, sureee
you are,” Carl scoffed.
They kept track of their winnings on a piece of paper while they watched.
“How about if I win you tell me what’s been goin’ on with you lately?” Rick
suggested.
“What if I win?” Carl challenged.
“What if you win?” Rick repeated, suggesting that Carl tell him his prize.
“You tell me what you’ve been doing on your computer all the time.”
Rick narrowed his eyes, “It’s on. But you’re gonna be awful disappointed, son.
There's nothin' for me to tell."
“We’ll see,” Carl said.
Rick had the lead for half of the show, kicking ass on “Road Rules” and “Loony
Laws”, but Carl caught up with “Cartoons” and “U.S. Presidents”. Rick thought
he had U.S. presidents in the bag, but it turned out he wasn’t as good in the
category as he was in general American History.
Neither of them won the Double Jeopardy question which was in the category
“French Literature. “This devilish, existentialist Jean Paul Sartre chef
d’œuvrefeatures the quote « L’enfer, c’est les autres ».
Carl rolled his eyes, “Come onn. As if we’d do anything about that. I haven’t
learned about that idiot yet. Do you know who he is?”
Rick chuckled, “I’ve heard of him, but I wouldn’t know that. I don’t speak
French.”
“Stupid Alex. Ugh. I had you too. How much did you bet?”
“A thousand,” Rick smirked.
“What the hell? You can’t even take a risk? Wow, Dad. Wow,” Carl complained,
frowning.
“How much did you bet?”
“All of it,” Carl grumbled.
Rick cackled, “My little gambler. Now you have to spill.”
“Do I have to?” Carl blanched.
Rick nodded, “We had a deal, son. ‘Sides it can’t be that bad.”
Carl pouted, “It is.”
“Rip it off like a Band-Aid,” Rick suggested. “Just blurt it out. Tell me.”
The boy stood up from the couch, walking a few feet away. “I don’t want to face
you when I tell you,” Carl admitted. “I don’t want to see you get mad.”
Rick felt guilty, “If it’s bothering you that much, it’s okay. You don’t have
to, Carl. I was just kidding around.”
“No it’s fine,” Carl argued. “I have to do it sometime. I have to just get over
it.”
Rick leaned back into his spot on the couch, “Come here, Carl. Please.”
Carl obliged, going over to his father.
“You can face me, son. Nothing is going to make me mad at you. It’s okay.”
Rick took Carl’s hand in his own.
Carl took a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut while he grasped his dad’s
hands.
“I’m gay,” he whispered.
 
Rick didn’t say anything, he just stood up. He took Carl into his arms and
hugged him tightly.
Rick felt tears in his eyes when he heard Carl sobbing. It was such a relief
for Rick to finally know what his was keeping from him. He had felt so excluded
and unimportant with Carl being so distant, and now it all made sense. Rick was
a bit bothered that Carl thought he would be upset at him. He soothed Carl by
rubbing his back gently until the boy stopped crying.
The man made to sit down, misjudging Carl’s movement as loosening his grip, but
Carl didn’t let go completely, so both of them fell to the couch, Carl
awkwardly sitting in Rick’s lap. Rick looked into Carl’s eyes. Carl looked back
at his father innocently, seeing his own eyes looking back at him.
Rick blushed, clearing his throat and shifting his position. Carl smiled,
moving his hand up to his eyes to clear the tears, but his dad’s hand beat him
to it.
“You don’t have to keep secrets, Carl,” Rick whispered. “I love you.”
Carl looked down, “I love you too,” he squeaked, adjusting his position so that
he wasn’t on Rick’s lap anymore, but sitting beside him.
Rick missed the feeling of Carl’s weight on him and the moment of closeness. It
wasn't often that Carl and him were so intimately close. Not that he didn't
enjoy it, he just got the impression that Carl might be uncomfortable with it.
Now he realized, maybe that wasn't so. He wondered if that was what it would
feel like to have ZombieTacos on his lap or if ZT was heavier than Carl. He
couldn’t help but think it would be such a strange coincidence of the man’s
true name was Carl or something close. He couldn't wait to share with ZT what
had just happened with his son. It would be the perfect inspiration for ZT to
be honest with his own father.
“Are you okay?” Rick asked quietly. He had his arm wrapped around Carl while
another gameshow played on the TV.
“I was thinking about going to bed,” Carl admitted.
“Me too,” Rick agreed.
They walked up the stairs together, reaching Carl’s room first. Rick placed his
hand on the back of Carl’s neck as a gesture of reassurance and love, letting
his fingers touch the ends of Carl’s hair, eventually trailing his hand down
the boy’s back. “Goodnight. I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks, Dad,” Carl said with a soft expression, shuffling into his room,
“Night.” He closed the door.
Rick had never been happier in his time as a father. He was so proud of Carl
for being brave and telling him the truth. Receiving an explanation for odd and
distant behaviour was one of the most relieving feelings he could think of. It
made him want answers from ZT. He wanted to be able to share himself with ZT,
but he wouldn’t do that unless he and ZT were on equal playing fields. Why
should he give up his name if ZT wouldn’t give up his?
He decided to go straight to bed instead of messaging ZT. He was euphoric from
his time with Carl and he didn't want to get into anymore deep conversations.
His quota was filled for the day.
Rick was glad that he had decided not to have a late night when Carl roused him
from sleep only an hour later.
"Dad?" Carl whispered from the doorway.
"Hmm?" Rick asked sleepily. He wanted to know if everything was okay, but he
couldn't get the words out.
Carl didn't speak another word, but he shuffled his way to his dad's bed,
crawling in next to the man. He didn't move at first, wondering if his father
would think it was weird and want him gone, but Rick did no such thing. The man
rolled over and spooned Carl, immensely comfortable and contented to have
company. He missed the feeling of his son in his arms as he slept...it had been
a few years since Carl started sleeping alone. He briefly wondered why they
didn't share a bed anymore--it was so nice.
 
When Rick woke up he checked his phone to see if his alarm had gone off or if
he had any messages. Using his phone as an alarm was the best idea Carl ever
gave him. He didn’t have to wake up to a heart attack every morning when his
alarm clock blared; with his phone he could play a nice tone or even a song. He
loved it.
Rick was excited to see a message from ZT so early. It made him feel a little
guilty for not messaging his friend last night.
 
ZT SAYS: Look what I woke up with…
 
Rick’s eyes widened when he saw the accompanying picture. ZT wasn’t playing
games that day… the man had managed to get a perfect angle of his hard cock and
the come he’d shot across his chest. ZT had his boxers pushed down around his
hips to allow his hand unhindered access to his balls and dick. Rick was in
awe.
Rick almost had a heart attack when he remembered Carl had been sleeping next
to him. He looked beside him and sighed with relief when he discovered the boy
had obviously woken up already. Rick was disappointed.
 
LL SAYS: Good morning to you too. Wow. Definitely worth getting out of bed for.
ZT SAYS: I was thinking about you.
LL SAYS: I was thinking about you too. I want to know more about you. I want to
meet you. See your body in person.
ZT SAYS: Soon. :) I swear.
ZT SAYS: You got any pics for me?
 
Rick smirked, pulling his own boxers down around his upper thighs like ZT had
done. He turned his camera to the video setting, making sure that it was angled
only at his dick the entire time. He didn’t want to accidentally show his face.
Rick jacked himself at a slow pace, eventually working up to a speed that made
his arm burn. He wanted to come hard for his friend, and show him what he was
missing. He moved his closed fist tightly over his head, not even bothering to
touch his shaft. Rick usually liked to fondle his balls while he masturbated,
but he had to use his left hand for the camera.
He came in long bursts, a couple strings of come spurting into the air to land
on his stomach, and the rest of it dripping from his slit down his fist. He
always found jerking off better in the morning, especially when he hadn’t done
it in a while, so it made a bit of a show. It turned him on even more to think
that ZT had been doing the same thing while thinking of him. Rick couldn’t wait
to meet this man. His dick throbbed with the desire for more, but he cleaned
himself up and got out of bed.
He sent the video to ZT while he got dressed, checking the text box
consistently for new messages. He grinned at ZT’s response.
 
ZT SAYS: Holy fuck, dude. I want you so bad right now.
LL SAYS: There’s more where that came from.
ZT SAYS: God I hope so. I’ll get you a video soon. I’ll make it a good one. Any
requests?
 
Rick deliberated. He wanted to see ZT come, but he wanted to make it
interesting. Sexier than just any old jerk off video. After a while there
wasn’t anything new to them…
 
LL SAYS: Do it at school.
 
Rick couldn’t believe himself. He was turning into one of those internet pervs
who kept asking for risqué things…but he couldn’t help himself. This guy was
way too fucking hot to be concealed by clothes. He wanted to see all of ZT all
of the time.
 
ZT SAYS: Dirty. ;) I like.
LL SAYS: I love.
 
Rick couldn’t wipe the smirk off his face even as he went downstairs to eat
breakfast. Carl had put on coffee for him even though the boy didn’t drink it
himself.
“Gracias,” Rick said, winking at Carl.
Carl smirked, "You slept pretty sound last night," looking almost guilty.
He couldn’t help but notice Carl’s rosy complexion, a deep blush that had
spread down to his usually pale neck.
“What’s up with you, mister?” Rick asked, preparing bread to put into the
toaster.
“Nothing,” Carl said, trying to keep a straight face.
“You’re lucky Shane’s not here,” Rick commented. “He’d get it out of you for
sure. You’re lyin’ through your teeth.”
Carl scowled, trying to get rid of his blush, but it wasn’t working.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you got yourself some kind of cutesy message
from that friend you been talkin’ to.”
“Shut up,” Carl scolded. “No I didn’t.”
“Ahhh,” Rick said with a grin, “Young love.”
Carl tried not to grin, but he couldn’t help it.
Rick laughed, “Don’t worry. You’re cute.”
Rick watched his son for a reaction, and when Carl smiled more he knew he’d
struck gold, “Oh wait, is that what your friend said?” Rick paused, “Hmmm.
Interesting. Carl and his boyfriend sitting online. T-E-X-T-I-N-G!”
“Oh my God, Dad. Please, please, please. Stop. Oh my God, I can’t handle you,”
Carl said, trying not to laugh.
“Hahahaha,” Rick chuckled, pouring some coffee into his travel mug.
Carl glared at his cereal, trying to burn a hole into it.
Rick had to leave the room he was laughing so hard. He felt guilty for
projecting onto Carl. He was the one who’d had the crazy message-filled
morning. But, he had to distract Carl first, or else he’d be the one getting
teased.
“I’m going to walk to school,” Carl announced.
“Okay, call me if you want to be picked up,” Rick said, chuckling to himself.
“Just so you know, I’m not walking because I want to. You’re acting crazy,”
Carl said, closing the door before Rick could respond.
Rick shook his head and took a bite of his toast. He checked his phone.
 
ZT SAYS: I don’t think our messages this morning were a good idea. It was
written all over my face how happy I was, and my dad caught on very quickly.
LL SAYS: Thank God my son didn’t notice. This morning was one of the best I’ve
had. If I wasn’t good at keeping a poker face he would’ve ridiculed me to
death.
ZT SAYS: That’s basically what happened to me lol
ZT SAYS: I’m almost at school ;)
LL SAYS: I can’t wait, talk to you soon.
ZT SAYS: xoxo
 
Rick checked his phone every 5 minutes like a madman, wondering when he was
going to get his video. ZT was definitely taking his sweet ass time making a
move.
He jumped when his phone vibrated, but it wasn’t ZT. It was Carl.
 
Carl: Hey dad, sup?
Rick: Slaving at my desk, you?
Carl: School :(
Rick: What class are you in?
Carl: P.E. we played dodgeball. Just got changed. Now waiting for the bell so
we can peace.
Rick: Did your team win?
Carl: lol definitely not
Rick: XD
Rick: Want me to pick you up for lunch or anything?
Carl: It’s ok thx. Just gonna eat the one you packed, chill in the library.
Rick: See you at home :)
Carl: Cool <3
Rick: <3
 
Rick still had his phone in his hands when he got a notification for
ZombieTaco’s new message. He could barely contain himself. He went to the
bathroom so he could watch it in private.
The lighting of the video was dim and grainy, but Rick saw all he needed to see
very clearly. His friend was standing in some sort of locker room, must’ve been
at his university. Rick waited for the video to progress; so far all he could
see was lockers.
Then he saw a very familiar sight, ZT’s dick came into the camera’s view,
already hard. Rick watched eagerly, waiting to see what ZT was going to do. His
friend had the camera half focused on the lockers and half on his erection. He
jacked himself quickly, obviously not wanting to stick around a public locker
room for very long. Rick was actually taken by surprise when ZT moved forward
to open a locker door, and then he came, aiming his dick at the empty locker to
leave his mark.
Rick watched in disbelief as the camera zoomed to focus on the white mess ZT
had left. He didn’t know whether he was appalled or turned on or maybe both.
He’d never seen anything like that before.
LL SAYS: Wow. Never seen anything like that before.
ZT SAYS: I’ve never done anything like that before, but I wanted to do
something special for you. I could’ve gotten caught you know.
LL SAYS: You’re gutsy. That was definitely unique. Definitely hot. I don’t
know, there was something so sexy about it. I wasn’t expecting it, that’s for
sure.
ZT SAYS: Glad you liked it. ;)
LL SAYS: Kind of makes you think though, how much semen is on things in our
everyday lives? I mean, if 1 out of 20 or even 1 out of 50 guys do what you
just did…there has to be semen everywhere.
ZT SAYS: I never thought of it like that. I guess you’re right. I’m sure I’m
not the only to do that at school… there’s tons of exhibitionists all over the
Internet who like to get busy publicly too. Wow, ew. There’s probably cum on
everything you love lmao
LL SAYS: That’s scary. It’s one thing for it to be yours, but imagine all the
sick nutjobs out there? No thank you.
ZT SAYS: lmao, just try to forget it. it might ruin your life and turn you into
someone who never leaves their house.
LL SAYS: too late. I just quit my job.
ZT SAYS: Oh, and not just semen, but piss too I bet. And all of the people who
don’t wash their hands… there’s just disgust everywhere.
LL SAYS: Lord help us.
ZT SAYS: It will be okay, I promise not to contribute to any of it…again.
LL SAYS: I don’t care if you do it. You’re hot. As long as it doesn’t go to
waste, I can’t complain.
ZT SAYS: You mean you want to see a video every time?
LL SAYS: :)
ZT SAYS: I’ve created a monster. You’re turning into a sex fiend.
LL SAYS: You’ve awoken something within me lol, I can’t deny that.
ZT SAYS: we have to meet soon. :(
LL SAYS: agreed.
 
---
 
ZT SAYS: let’s play 20 questions. We’ve already been talking for a while and we
still don’t know much about each other
ZT SAYS: I can't believe we haven't done this already omg.
LL SAYS: How do we play?
ZT SAYS: I’ll send 10 questions that we both answer and you do the same thing.
You can do it however you want, but the key idea is 20 questions.
LL SAYS: All right, sounds fun.
ZT SAYS: 1. Favorite band
LL SAYS: I like Johnny Cash, the Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan…pretty standard
stuff. How about you?
ZT SAYS: I really like the Foo Fighters and the Killers
LL SAYS: Yeah I’ve heard those bands. I especially enjoy the Killers. My son
likes them too, and he listens to newer music.
ZT SAYS: Like what?
LL SAYS: I can’t remember many of the names, but there’s something to do with
pilots, and then someone named Drake, and the 1995.
ZT SAYS: LMFAO omg. I think you mean 21 Pilots and the 1975. Hahahaha. Omg
LL SAYS: Yeah those are them. You know them?
ZT SAYS: You’re so cute.
LL SAYS: Stop it. Next question :P
ZT SAYS: 2. Your favorite movie
LL SAYS: I’m going to have to ‘cop out’ of this one. I don’t really have a
favorite.
ZT SAYS: Omg. 1st of all nice joke. 2nd no passes. Just pick something.
LL SAYS: Jurassic Park.
ZT SAYS: Do you like Jurassic World?
LL SAYS: I thought it was excellent. Is that your favorite?
ZT SAYS: It’s a tie between that and Zombieland...kind of like my username
LL SAYS: I’ve never seen Zomebieland. But you and my son will get along very
well. He enjoys those kinds of movies too. I can’t believe you two listen to
the same music and like the same films.
ZT SAYS: ehh, tbh everybody likes this stuff. It’s not very unique lol, I bet 1
out of 5 people would say Jurassic World was their fave because it’s so recent.
LL SAYS: True. Maybe I’m just out of the times and I don’t know what’s popular
for younger people. But, you’re probably not far off from 25 so pretty soon
you’ll be old like me and like old things. :P
ZT SAYS: Silly LincolnLaw… so uncultured.
ZT SAYS: Wait a minute. I'm gonna get to meet your son? Wowww..
LL SAYS: I don't see why not...he'll like you just as much as I do.
 
Rick felt a little awkward that ZT was so similar to Carl. It made him feel as
if he was chatting with his son. They’d only ever spoken about death and sex,
so these little everyday details were lost on both of them. Now that they were
being revealed, Rick was starting to get a clearer picture of who ZT was, and
he had a feeling that he was closer to 20 than 30, and that was going to make
for interesting family meals if his boyfriend—friend, lover, whatever you
wanted to call it—was sitting next to his son and they both were practically
just out of the womb. What would Carl think? Rick may as well just adopt
another kid.
 
ZT SAYS: 3. Favorite colour.
LL SAYS: red
ZT SAYS: mine is black
 
Rick felt infinitesimally better since Carl’s favorite colour was blue.
 
ZT SAYS: 4. Favorite animal.
LL SAYS: owl
ZT SAYS: My dad likes owls too lol. I like crabs. I think they’re interesting.
ZT SAYS: 5 favorieit food
ZT SAYS: *favorite
LL SAYS: steak
ZT SAYS: pizza. 6 your son’s name.
LL SAYS: I’m sorry…you know I can’t answer that.
ZT SAYS: I’ll tell you my dad’s name.
 
Rick was super tempted. If he had ZT’s dad’s name and he was a cop…Rick could
find him in the database in 10 seconds, but he wasn’t going to put Carl on the
line like that just so he could find some random guy in Georgia.
 
LL SAYS: I’m not ready for that yet.
ZT SAYS: All right. 6. Your sexiest fantasy.
LL SAYS: Anything involving you.
ZT SAYS: Specifically.
LL SAYS: I don't know if I want to say...sending videos is one thing, but
writing in words all the things I think about...Are you sure you want to read
that?
ZT SAYS: Fuck yes I do.
LL SAYS: All right then...
LL SAYS: I want to take a shower with you and turn you around against the wall,
and I want you to beg for me.
LL SAYS: I want you to thank me when I finally get to fuck you.
ZT SAYS: I change my fantasy to yours lol yours is lite compared to mine
LL SAYS: Hey now, what was yours ;)
ZT SAYS: It’s embarrassing.
LL SAYS: No it’s sexy, whatever it is. Tell me. please. Maybe we can make it
come true.
ZT SAYS: Seriously. I don’t think you want to hear it. I shouldn’t have said
anything.
ZT SAYS: You pick me up in your cruiser and tell me I’ve done something wrong,
and you bring me to the station…and you lock me up, and my dad’s there.
LL SAYS: Go on. It's okay.
ZT SAYS: And he tells me that you’re going to be questioning me, so you take me
into the interrogation room, and you fuck me until I answer your questions, and
my dad’s on the other side, watching us.
 
Rick inhaled audibly at ZT’s admission. He pictured it, taking ZT right in
front of everybody, and his dad would know who he really belonged to. His half-
hard cock grew immediately at the thought. He felt a burst of anger at thinking
of ZT as Carl. What if he was the dad looking in on Carl as he was…fucked…by
some, some disgusting stranger? Rick frowned. He felt possessive all of a
sudden, like he needed to go check on Carl.
 
LL SAYS: That’s definitely something that could never happen, but it’s going to
be something I picture for the rest of my life. I wonder what your father would
do. Is he very protective?
 
Rick was starting to wonder about this supposed father. If ZT was in his
twenties and was still so obsessed…Rick didn’t really want to say obsessed, but
focused. Yeah, if ZT was so focused on his father at this age, so much so that
he wanted someone to fuck him in front of his father’s eyes…Rick couldn’t help
but wonder what kind of underlying issues were there. He wondered if Carl ever
had any thoughts like this. Young people seemed to be so frisky, and Carl was
probably raging with hormones. Rick had to admit the idea turned him on--he had
a new desire to get into Carl's head. Who knew what his son was thinking behind
those pretty eyes...
 
ZT SAY: He is SUPER protective and like possessive. But I know he loves me.
LL SAYS: I don’t mean to offend you, but do you ever think that maybe there’s
something to that? I’ve seen it happen before, where the father is overly
protective of their child because he desires him or her. Do you think that
could be going on? Or even the opposite.
ZT SAYS: well
ZT SAYS: idk, maybe. I never really thought about it. you’d think if that were
true my dad would’ve tried to, ya know, molest me or something? I feel bad even
saying that…no he’s never even hinted at anything like that. I haven’t even
seen him naked for like my whole life, and even if I have a shirt off he covers
his eyes like I’m a girl or something. We don’t even swim together. The most
that happens between us is we use the bathroom while one’s in the shower, or we
lie on the couch together. Maybe it’s subconscious then. Lol
LL SAYS: it just got me thinking, if you fantasize like that, fantasies that
include your father, what if my son does too?
ZT SAYS: I’ve thought about him growing up, like
ZT SAYS: he’s my only male role model or whatever, right? So, idk when I
realized I was gay, I sort of pictured males in his image. Is that weird?
LL SAYS: I don’t think so. I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s my fault for
bringing it up. I didn’t mean to say your dad was a pervert or that you were
secretly in love with him. I don’t know, my mind ran away from me there. Sorry.
ZT SAYS: It’s okay. I find it interesting tbh. What if that’s why I like you?
you’re a cop. You’re almost 40, you have a son…you’re super dorky. You’re just
like my dad. Maybe you’re onto something lmao.
LL SAYS: Well I’m one to talk then, look at me, talking to some 20 year old? I
don’t even know how old you are. Sometimes you seem 25, other times you seem to
be 16 just like my boy. You two like the same music, movies, both of you know
what it’s like to lose a mother… you’re in school. I’d be tempted to think that
it could be you in some weird twist of fate, but that’s extremely unlikely, and
besides, he told me he doesn’t have an online profile.
ZT SAYS: COulD You FuckIn imagine??? Omg especially with all the shit we sent
each other, omg if you were my dad I would literally die lmao. I feel sick just
thinking about him catching me doing this kind of thing.
LL SAYS: Anything you want to tell me lol?
ZT SAYS: sort of, actually. Yes.
 
Rick frowned. Was ZT serious? Another secret to share?
 
LL SAYS: All right, I’m bracing myself.
ZT SAYS: I’m not in university like you think.
 
Rick ran his hands through his hair.

LL SAYS: What do you mean? You’re taking a break or something? Or you’re
actually in college?
ZT SAYS: I’m in high school.
 
“Jesus Christ,” Rick said, pushing away from the kitchen table where he was
seated. He got up to pace. “Oh for fuck sakes,” he said, “Come on!” He couldn’t
believe he’d been so stupid. How young was this kid then? 14? 15? 18? Rick
prayed for his life that the kid was 18.
 
LL SAYS: How old are you? or please, for the love of God say you’re a teacher.
The janitor, anything.
 
Rick thought to the locker rooms in ZT’s video, and the skillful avoidance of
school-related questions. Fuck. He had been so stupid.
 
ZT SAYS: 16. :(
LL SAYS: You let me send you pictures of myself, and you sent me pictures back,
when you’re barely legal? I could go to jail for this. How could you keep this
from me?
ZT SAYS: 16 is the age of consent, so you won’t get in trouble. I swear I’m not
some undercover cop waiting to hang you out to dry.. seriously, I’m just who I
said I was this whole time, with a different number on my birth certificate.
LL SAYS: My son is 16. How is this supposed to work? Will you two go out to the
restaurant for kids eat free Tuesdays and leave me behind?
ZT SAYS: okay, that’s funny, but super uncalled for. I didn’t mean for this to
happen. I kept the secret the same reason you kept yours. Why do you think I
got so upset when I found out you had a kid? Imagine me being a father to
someone the same age? It’s ridiculous to even imagine.
ZT SAYS: If you even knew about my age in the first place, you wouldn’t have
given me the time of day, or worse, you would’ve and then I’d have thought you
were a creep. It’s so much better this way. Now we know each other. We know our
ages don’t matter.
LL SAYS: I don’t know if I can do this anymore. It’s not right.
ZT SAYS: Please don’t do this to me. I didn’t run away after you told me your
secret, please don’t do that to me.
 
Rick grabbed a can of Coke from the fridge. He was out of his mind. He sat back
down at the table before getting up again, and then sitting back down. What the
fuck was he supposed to do? This was getting wayout of hand.
 
LL SAYS: If you’re 16 that means your dickhead boyfriend just happened last
year.
ZT SAYS: yes
LL SAYS: You go to high school?
ZT SAYS: yes
LL SAYS: How do I know you don’t go to school with my son? What if you two
share the same classes?
ZT SAYS: If I knew your son, I think it would be obvious.
LL SAYS: How so?
ZT SAYS: Well, you’re an officer, and I told you so is my dad. Plus you know my
dad is a widow. If I actually lived in your town, then you’d know an unmarried
officer who had a son who was me, and you’d know who I was. My dad is super
recognizable anyways, so if he was your fellow policeman you wouldn’t be able
to miss him.
ZT SAYS: See, there you go. Nothing to worry about. You don’t know me, well in
person at least.
 
Well thankfully none of that sounded familiar. Rick did a quick inventory of
his coworkers. Shane had Andrea, no son. Daryl didn’t have a son. Glenn had a
kid on the way with his pharmacist wife Maggie, Michonne’s baby had died long
ago, and Hershel’s son was much older than 16. The rest of the people either
had no children, daughters, or kids who weren’t 16.The only person who fit the
bill was him.
 
Fuck.
Rick’s jaw dropped, his eyes watered, and nausea washed over his body in a
green wave.
No.
“Small town near Atlanta” was all he could think about.
 
ZT SAYS: Plus my dad was shot when I was a kid, and he almost died. If there
was a cop on your team who was shot, then you’d probably know about it.

Rick barely had the energy left to type it, but he managed.
 
LL SAYS: I know about it. About 10 years ago?
ZT SAYS: Yeah, I was just a kid. But how do you know? You read it in the
newspaper?
 
Rick shook his head. How could he not be getting it? How couldn’t he see it?
 
LL SAYS: Think about it, Carl.
 
Rick closed his laptop before he could see any response and he walked out of
the front door. He got into his car and drove. He had to get away. He needed to
think.
 
 
Rick wasn’t sure where he was driving to or what he was driving from. As soon
as he got out of his neighbourhood, and eventually to the outskirts of King
County, he started to have doubts. What if there were just an obscene amount of
coincidences and ZT—Carl…whoever—really was telling the truth?
The man thought while he drove. He tried to think of all the details of their
conversations, which was more than tricky since they’d been carrying on for
over 3 months. Rick felt stupid. As soon as ZT had disclosed that his age was
16, he should’ve known. All the pieces had been there: dead mother, single dad,
father is a police officer, small town close to Atlanta, the dirty pictures…
The pictures made Rick feel the guiltiest. Not only because they were obviously
crossing the father and son line, but because he didn’t even recognize Carl’s
body. How could that be? Rick realized maybe he hadn’t wanted to. Why else
would he have imagined ZT on his lap when it was Carl? Why would he have
noticed that ZT’s body was young? Rick had seen all of the signs, and he’d
ignored them. He couldn’t be too hard on himself because it wasn’t like he and
Carl were naked in front of each other every 5 seconds, but still.
Rick even made the connection between him suggesting to ZT that he tell his
father the truth about his sexuality and Carl admitting his own to him. Rick
blushed and couldn’t help but smile when he remembered the morning he’d teased
Carl relentlessly for having exchanged cutesy messages with his “online
boyfriend”. To realize that it had been him…well that was pretty ironic.
And the name ZombieTacos…typical Carl. Rick found himself beginning to be
amused instead of agonized. It was almost like a little game putting all of the
puzzle pieces together. Instead of guilty and angry, he started to feel only
silly. He had to remind himself that this wasn’t all a joke, but why did it
feel so funny?
His next line of thought was why hadn’t Carl recognized him? Rick realized
then, of course, that he had really tried not to give himself away. By chance
he’d even concealed his scarred chest. If Carl had even the slightest guess
that it was his father to whom he was speaking, all doubts would’ve been erased
when he looked at the picture of Rick and saw no evidence of a bullet wound.
Rick couldn’t help but miss ZombieTacos. What else would he do if the only
person he was interested in was actually his son? Not only would he lose a
partner, but the relationship between him and Carl would never be the same.
The thought that made him turn around was the remembrance of ZT’s fantasy and
the discussion that followed. Rick had wondered if ZT was interested in his
father since he had basically admitted that his father starred in most of his
desires. For somebody to imagine being fucked in front of his father and to
admit that it wasn’t always just watching that the father did…Rick knew he had
someone to go back to. He had gotten what he had always wanted. Hadn’t he said
to Carl only weeks ago that he wished someone who’d been in front of him all
along could offer him new perspective and fix his broken life? Who better than
the person who he held most dear? Carl.
Rick raced back to the house. Scared that it might be too late. Carl might be
gone. What if he ran away or did something stupid like go to the fuckhead
boyfriend he’d had? It stung to realize that his boy had been hurt and hadn’t
even told him, but Rick let it go. None of that mattered anymore.
He pulled into the driveway, checking his phone to see if there had been any
messages of desperation or confusion or apology from either ZT or Carl. There
were none, so he continued on into his house, stowing his phone in his pocket.
“Carl?” Rick called, ascending the stairs.
Rick went to Carl’s bedroom, but there was nobody in there. The first thing he
noticed was Carl’s open laptop. He went over to it, unsurprised when he saw the
open chat page between both of them. The cursor blinked in the message box. The
last message had been his own. “Think about it, Carl.”
He walked down the hall.
“Carl? Please, are you here?”
Rick saw the bathroom door closed. He knocked.
“Carl?”
For the first few seconds of listening, he didn’t hear anything through the
door, but then Carl revealed his presence through quiet, broken sobs.
“Son?” Rick asked, “Open the door.”
“I’m not mad,” Rick assured. “It’s gonna be okay. We can talk if you come out.”
“No,” Carl cried. “I’m never coming out.”
“Please, open the door now,” Rick said a little more firmly. “We have to face
it,” Rick said.
He let Carl think about it for a couple minutes and gather his courage.
He heard the door unlock, but Carl didn’t emerge.
Rick steeled himself, “I love you, Carl. Nothing will change that. Just come
out.”
Carl cracked open the door, looking at his feet, unable to face is father yet.
Slowly he opened the rest of the door and stood in the threshold.
Rick could see Carl’s pain written all over his face. The boy’s face was wet
with tears, and his eyes were bloodshot.
Rick didn’t want to call Carl by his name, or call him son, but he wanted to
convey the boy’s importance to him. His new importance.
“Sweetheart,” Rick whispered, putting his hand to Carl’s cheek. He tilted the
boy’s face up, sad to see his eyes closed.
He moved forward, pressing his lips to Carl’s gently so he wouldn’t startle
him.
Carl’s eyes flashed open in surprise, but he didn’t pull away.
Rick pulled away after a few more seconds, “Come on.” He bent his knees,
getting low to grasp Carl’s thighs so he could pick him up.
Carl got the hint and let himself by lifted up by his father. He wrapped his
legs around the man’s hips and his arms around the man’s neck.
Rick got the indication that Carl wasn’t opposed to what he’d just done. Plus
the boy had stopped crying. Rick carried his son to his room just as he had
when Carl was little and didn’t want to sleep alone in his own room. There was
more than enough room for the two of them in Rick’s bed.
The man placed his boy on top of the bed. Even though Carl was catching up to
Rick’s height, he was still very light so it was with ease that Rick carried
him. Rick unfolded the throw blanket at the foot of the bed to cover Carl’s
body. Rick got into the bed next to him, not needing a blanket. He had too much
energy to be cold.
Rick lay there for a few minutes before trying to say anything, but Carl beat
him to it.
“What do we do?” Carl asked quietly.
“Why were you crying, Carl?”
It was unclear to Rick whether Carl was upset because of embarrassment or loss.
Did he fear a punishment?
“I was scared you’d be mad and I felt stupid,” Carl paused.
“I—I thought, or I felt,” Carl started, “Like I’d lost someone. If it was you,
then there was nobody because it’s not like… not like I could have you. You
know?”
Rick pondered Carl’s response. It was much similar to the process of emotions
he’d gone through while he was on his drive.
"Carl, you have to stop thinkin' I'm gonna be mad at you all the time."
Carl nodded.
"Why do you think I'm some monster?" Rick asked, hurt.
"No, I don't. I swear. It's me not you," Carl explained.
Rick waited for an explanation.
"I just...I just want you to love me. I just," he sighed. "When you find out
your son's like in love with you or something, I don't know. What if you
thought I was weird or disgusting or--?"
Rick, "Shh. Carl you never have to be scared of me. I love you. That's all you
ever need to know. None of the rest matters."
Carl wiped his eyes, trying to accept his dad's love, but it was difficult
since he'd never thought he could have what he wanted...not like this.
“Did you have any clue at all that it was me? I can’t help but ask. I went over
it over and over again. I can’t believe I didn’t realize it sooner,” Rick
admitted.
“We both knew on some level,” Carl reasoned, rolling over to face Rick now that
he’d tested the waters and realized it was a safe space to speak openly in.
“We had so much in common…things that aren’t very common, but like, the stuff
you told me like being a policeman and liking Johnny Cash…that could’ve been
anyone. What I really can’t get over is how I didn’t clue in when I saw the—“
“The pictures,” Rick finished, blushing and covering his eyes. “That’s what I
get hung up on every time.”
“If you would’ve shown your scar, Dad… I would’ve known right away,” Carl
explained. “What happened?”
Before Rick could even say anything, Carl spoke again, “You know I looked for
it. In every picture or the…the stupid videos, I tried to see it, and I
actually felt disappointed when it wasn’t there. I couldn’t ask outright
either. You picked good angles.”
Rick closed his eyes and sighed, “I didn’t want you or…him to see it and think
it was ugly. And to be fair, if you had admitted right away how old you were, I
could’ve put pieces together much quicker.”
Carl smiled slyly, “Mr. bachelor with no children. What the hell was that?”
Rick humbled, “I didn’t mean it like that. People are more accepting once
they’ve already given you a chance. If I had it on there, nobody would even
look twice.. but if I got them to like me and then told them the truth, they
might like me too much to let me go. I don’t know. It was dumb. But don’t ever
think I was ashamed of you or anything. It wasn’t like that.”
“I can’t believe I told you those things…” Carl said vaguely. “God. I can’t
believe….ugh.”
Rick wasn’t sure what Carl meant at first, and then he got a nice visual.
“Can I say somethin’?” Rick asked.
“Anything,” Carl answered.
“When you told me what you wanted him to do…I got angry ‘cause I was thinkin’
of you.”
Carl looked at Rick, finally. “What?”
“I pictured watching you with…someone else,” Rick said begrudgingly, “And I
wondered if you’d ever thought anything like that. I didn’t want anybody
touchin’ you.”
“Like I said,” Carl smirked, “We both knew in some weird way.”
“I feel so stupid,” Rick repeated, “All those times when we both noticed the
similarities and thought…but we couldn’t make the full connection.”
“It’s okay,” Carl shrugged. “It makes sense that you didn’t put it together…I
didn’t give you much to go on, but me? I’m the one who should’ve figured it
out. You typed so properly and said ‘perps’. How could I have let that one
slide?”
Rick smiled at son, “Don’t be so hard on yourself,” he said, pulling out his
phone. He went to his photo library.
“Oh, God. Dad. Please don’t show me those. Wait you actually saved them?”
Rick smirked, “I can see your bedspread in this one, and those lockers…I did go
to the same high school as you. I saw them almost every day for four years.”
“I honestly feel so mortified. Like I could just die,” Carl said. “Ugh. But at
the same time, I feel like it doesn’t matter. You figured it out,
eventually…and I bet I would’ve soon. But you have more experience with
investigations and putting facts together--” Carl stopped as if he just
remembered something significant, “Why did you kiss me?”
Rick sat in silence, thinking his answer through, “Because I’m not losing what
we had. What was there even before we knew it. What took months of talking to a
familiar stranger to realize…” Rick explained. “I got what I wanted. Remember
when I told you what I wished for?”
Carl’s expression was serene, “You wanted someone who was there all along to
fix it all,” he remembered.
“That’s you, Carl,” Rick stated. “If you don’t have any objections.”
Carl expressed his disbelief, “I thought you just…I don’t know what to say. I
thought you just felt bad for me,” he paused. “You actually wantme?” Carl
asked.
“I don’t care about any of it,” Rick declared. “I found what I wanted. I say we
forget it all. The messages, the pictures, the lies, the secrets,” he listed.
“We don’t start over, but we forget that any other versions of ourselves
existed. We’re who we were before this mess, except,” he tried to find the
right words to explain his sentiment, “we’re together.”
“It doesn’t matter that I’m your son?” Carl clarified. “You don’t think my
fa…my fantasies were gross?”
“No, Carl. None of it matters,” Rick replied. “I want you to tell the truth
about what you want. I want you to be able to trust me. Not be scared that I’m
gonna get mad at you or hate you like you were when you told me you were gay or
when you told ‘me’ that ‘you didn’t want your dad to find out’ about what you
were doin’ on the internet,” Rick raised his eyebrows pointedly, “I made my
peace with what this is. I fell in love with you, Carl. I’m not giving that up.
Carl brushed his hair out of his eyes, “Seriously?” He whispered.
Rick nodded seriously, “Correct me if I’m assumin’ too much, but you always
wanted this, Carl. I’m new to it, but I get it now. I get why you wanted it
before. We’re all we have, and it doesn’t make sense any other way. I see what
you always saw.”
Carl shook his head, “It doesn’t…I can’t accept it. How can I finally be
getting what I wanted? It seems too crazy, like there’s a catch. As if
something so crazy would ever work out for me…”
“It’s real, Carl,” Rick assured. “I don’t plan on changin’ my mind. I want us
both to be happy, and if you think you want me…if you think that will make you
happy, then you got it.”
“Can you kiss me again?” Carl asked as a way of agreeing to what Rick said.
Rick nodded. He moved closer to Carl, removing the boy’s blanket and exposing
his clothed body.
Carl averted his eyes, and Rick responded by pulling his son on top of him.
Rick had fantasized about ZT for weeks, wishing to finally get the man in front
of him so he could have his way with him. ZT being Carl was an unexpected hang-
up, but now that that problem was solved, he wanted to get started on making
their fantasies a reality. He knew that neither of them were going anywhere any
time soon, but he still wanted Carl sooner than later.
The man rested his hands on Carl’s back, waiting for Carl to indicate that he
was ready.
Carl closed his eyes and relaxed his expression, waiting for his father to give
him what he wanted. Rick kissed him for the second time that night, allowing
Carl to get used to the feeling before he advanced.
“I like you better with this,” Carl admitted, feeling Rick’s stubble, just at
the length before it grew into a full-on beard.
“Why?” Rick wondered.
Carl shrugged, “It feels good,” he said, practically giggling, “You look…”
Carl didn’t want to be too blunt and scare his father away by being
tooattracted, but he was tired of holding back; he’d wanted this a long time.
“You’re hot.”
Rick grinned. Getting compliments like that from Carl would take some getting
used to, but it wasn’t going to be difficult. He’d never thought of Carl in
terms like that before, but it was getting easier by the minute. Especially
since Carl looked delicious and sincere atop him. The boy’s blue eyes were
practically begging for more touch, and he seemed to have a blush that never
left. Rick could even feel his son’s heart beating between them. Rick didn’t
know if he noticed it, or if it was unintentional, but Carl was rocking his
hips ever so slightly.
“Jesus, Carl. I--,” Rick couldn’t finish.
“What?” Carl said, alert.
“I want to fuck you,” Rick admitted, willing himself to watch Carl’s reaction,
fearful he might be rejected.
Carl practically trembled, “Please.”
 
“There’s somethin’ I want to do first,” Rick said, rolling Carl off him.
Carl lay on the bed, clothes wrinkled and hair unkempt, waiting for his dad to
make the next move. He was so hard he could see his waistband starting to pull
away from his hips. Rick looked so irresistible, taking his button up off and
tossing it on the ground. He pushed a lock of his hair behind his ear so it
wouldn’t get in the way of his task.
“Dad,” Carl begged, “What are you gonna do?”
Rick winked before moving to straddle Carl, unbuttoning his own jeans and then
the boy’s.
“You’re excited,” Rick noticed, stating the obvious. He was so grateful to see
this in person. It would be so much better than the grainy photos of someone
who he'd thought was a stranger.
Rick didn’t tell Carl what he was up to, but it was evident when he pulled
Carl’s jeans and boxers down and tossed them on the ground. Carl took off his
own shirt.
Rick didn’t waste any time taking Carl’s dick into his mouth.
“Gah!” Carl cried, arching off the bed a little bit. “Oh, shit.”
Carl came in Rick’s mouth with a groan. All Rick had to do was take Carl to the
back of his throat, and lick up the shaft since Carl had never been touched by
anybody else.
“Whoa,” Carl breathed.
Rick didn’t bother looking smug since it wasn’t anything special to make a
teenaged boy come. He wanted Carl’s first sexual experience with him to be
receiving instead of giving to make up for that asshole who’d used Carl the
year before. He still had to find out the douchebag’s name.
“There,” Rick smiled, feeling his erection through his jeans, “No you know what
a blowjob feels like, well, more or less.”
Carl looked guilty, “Heh,” then he couldn’t help but ask, “Did you do that
because of what I told you because of that guy?”
Rick shrugged, “I would’ve anyway, but I made a special point of doing it first
so you didn’t get bad memories or somethin’,” Rick explained.
It only took Carl’s silence and the averting of his eyes for Rick to realize
he’d been duped, “Why’d you tell me that if it wasn’t true?”
Carl closed his eyes, shrugging, “I wanted you to know that I wasn’t just a
little kid…I’d done stuff before, and I thought it’d be better if you felt bad.
Like if you felt protective of me it would remind me of my dad…you…and it kind
of turned me on when you got all possessive,” he admitted.
“I’d say I felt used,” Rick joked, “But I enjoyed it too much. Well at least I
don’t have to kill anyone now.”
Carl smiled, “You’re not mad?”
“I told you, son. I don’t get mad at you. I don’t know where you got that idea.
I just like it when you’re honest. And to be honest myself, I really only got
one thing on my mind right now,” he admitted mischievously, pulling his jeans
down, revealing his erection.
Carl gulped, “Uh, wow. Better than the pictures.”
Rick grinned, “It’s all yours in a minute.” He shifted his position to get his
pants off, and then moved towards the nightstand to get out the lube.
 
“Where’d you get that?” Carl demanded.
“Drugstore,” Rick said.
“What did Mrs. Rhee have to say about it?” Carl asked, scandalized.
“Maggie just laughed at me. Said, ‘It’s about time’,” the man explained.
“Wow,” Carl said, calming down. “This is gonna be… really good.”
“I know,” Rick nodded. He could barely contain himself.
 
Rick was going to ask Carl how he wanted it, but Carl moved on his own,
kneeling on all fours before him. He couldn’t help but reach out and palm the
boy’s smooth ass, smacking it lightly when he pulled his hand away.
“So…boy,” Rick said, testing the word on his tongue, “Are you ready?”
Carl whimpered. He didn’t know what to say back; he didn’t know what kind of
talk his dad liked… “Yeah, Dad,” he settled for. It didn’t sound sexy enough,
but he wanted to work up to anything else. “Do it.”
Rick listened to his son, coating his finger with lube. He’d never done this
before, and neither had Carl, but Rick could figure it out. He barely teased
Carl’s entrance, letting the boy adjust to the odd feeling.
Carl let himself relax, feeling his father’s fingertip on his hole, gliding
over it gently with his lubed finger. He was scared it would hurt, but he knew
enough to know that it would feel good even if it made him a little sore at
first.
Eventually Rick progressed to a fingertip, gradually entering Carl a little at
a time, adding a generous amount of lube to prevent any burning. He really
wanted to be quick and dirty—just fuck Carl into the mattress and finally know
what it felt like to really sin. But he knew they could get to that later, when
they were both ready. No point in rushing when they had all the time in the
world.
Carl winced when Rick added a second finger, but he breathed through it,
reaching down to his dick to jerk it, this way he could cancel out the
discomfort.
“Okay, baby?” Rick asked. He didn’t want Carl to hurt, but his cock was
demanding attention.
“Dad,” Carl said, face in pillow, “Can I call you ‘daddy’?”
Rick answered Carl’s question with a third finger, crooking them and twisting
with his wrist to really give Carl something to feel. He used his left hand to
grab his dick, needing to touch it before his situation became critical. He’d
never considered being called daddy before, and Carl hadn’t said it since he
was just a kid, but somehow it seemed appealing and suitable with his 16 year
old son on his knees in front of him. What other word would there be to call
him?
“Yes,” Rick growled, punctuating his permission with the removal of his
fingers.
Carl moaned, “Please,” he begged, “Daddy…do it.”
Rick didn’t hesitate. He thrusted into Carl, almost collapsing from the
encapsulating pleasure.
“Fuck,” Rick bit out. He didn’t know what they’d been waiting for. Jesus, it
felt damn good.
“Oh my God,” Carl said, tears in his eyes. He’d never felt anything like that
in his life. Playing around in his room with his fingers was nothing compared
to feeling his father’s hard cock within him, filling his ass delightfully.
Rick thought he was hurting Carl at first, but with a couple of thrusts, Carl
was gasping, fisting the pillows in front of him, and he realized that Carl was
enjoying it, immensely.
The man kept going, resting his hands on Carl’s hips, pulling him back onto his
cock over and over again before switching it up and holding Carl into place
while he thrusted forward relentlessly.
Carl jacked himself a couple of times and then he came, his come shooting onto
his father’s sheets.
“Daddy,” he breathed, “Dad, oh…” he went almost limp, completely fucked out.
Rick held his son firmly into place while he finished himself off, slowing his
pace down so only his cockhead was in Carl. Rick rocked back and forth gently
for a few moments, letting Carl’s tight hole close around the tip of his dick
repeatedly. When he was ready to come he pushed forward, shooting his load into
the boy generously.
“Ah,” Rick and Carl said at the same time, Rick pulling out and lying beside
Carl. He pulled his son to his side, throwing an arm around him. He had zero
energy left.
Neither of them spoke. There was absolutely nothing left to say since they’d
done all their communication physically. It was obvious what would happen next.
 
---
 
Next thing Rick knew it was midnight. He rolled over groggily to check his
alarm clock. He had to be up in a few hours to work.
He rolled over to check on Carl, but the boy was gone. Rick got up, suddenly
alert.
“Carl?” He called quietly. Rick heard the boy call back from the kitchen.
“What’re you doin’ up?” Rick said, leaning on the counter beside the fridge. He
was completely naked, and when his eyes fully adjusted he could see that Carl
was as well.
“Just thirsty,” Carl said, putting his glass of water down.
“So?” Carl asked.
“So what?” Rick repeated.
“What do you think?” Carl clarified.
“I think you’re gonna get tired of me real soon,” Rick chuckled.
“Why would you say that?” Carl asked, “I wanted this. You.”
“You say that now,” Rick shook his head, “But I’m never gonna leave you alone.”
“What do you—?” Carl began before Rick stepped forward, lifting Carl onto the
counter.
 
The boy sat on the counter, legs wrapped around his father. He opened his mouth
eagerly to accept Rick’s tongue, enjoying the feeling of stubble against his
face once again.
Rick changed gears, picking Carl up off the counter and setting him down,
turning the boy so his ass was to him before Carl could even ask any questions.
Rick felt Carl’s body with an explorative hand, checking to see if the boy was
still open.
“My lucky day,” Rick commented, guiding his cock into Carl’s ass for a second
time.
“Yess,” Carl hissed, bending over to lean onto the counter.
Rick made quick work of his son, reaching around to stroke his dick. Carl
wasn’t as easy as before, having built up a small tolerance after already
coming twice.
“Hmm,” Rick said, slowing down his pace. “You want it slow then?”
Carl pushed his ass back, “No.”
“No, what?” Rick asked playfully.
“No, Daddy,” Carl corrected himself.
“Me either,” Rick said. “Come on, baby. Do it.”
Carl concentrated on the feeling of his father’s strong hand on his dick,
moving up and down in time with his thrusts. Being called baby helped put him
over the edge, his orgasm building up from his toes. He could feel it coming
on, but he held back just a little longer, wanting to savour it.
He finally released into his dad’s hand with a groan. Carl’s dick was sensitive
from all of the sexual activity, and he knew he would feel all the fucking in
his ass the next day, but he reasoned that his mouth wasn’t sore.
“Stop,” Carl said, turning around when Rick withdrew.
Rick was about to ask what was wrong when Carl dropped to his knees before him,
taking his entire length into his mouth.
“Wow,” Rick approved. He wondered if Carl would object to the taste,
considering it was ass to mouth, but Carl never commented. Rick imagined it was
because Carl’s ass was immaculate, nothing unfavourable to be found. He
wondered if Carl would let him rim him…but he’d have to save it for next time
since he figured they’d both had enough for one day.
Carl sucked off Rick obscenely well, not favouring any specific tongue
technique, but opting instead for zealous deep throat strategy. He loved the
feeling of being full, he discovered. Having his father’s dick in his mouth
made his jaw ache and his eyes water, but it was so worth it. Carl wished he
had enough energy to get fucked again, but he had to be realistic with his
limits.
Rick rocked his hips back and forth, letting Carl’s tight lips squeeze around
his hard length. It was so exciting to do this in the kitchen in the heat of
the moment. He’d never really felt spontaneity like that with Lori or previous
girlfriends before, but with Carl it was different; he couldn’t get enough.
Seeing his son naked in the kitchen in such a domestic, mundane setting was a
huge turn on.
“I wanna come in your mouth,” Rick murmured, cupping Carl’s cheek with his
hand.
Carl didn’t say anything, but he sucked faster, even bringing up one of his
hands to play with Rick’s balls.
Rick let himself go, finishing in Carl’s mouth. He didn’t let any sounds
escape, but his entire body tensed and he had to grind his teeth to stand the
euphoric feeling. Carl swallowed happily, bringing his hand up to massage his
jaw.
Rick helped Carl up, brushing his hands over the boy’s knees for a few seconds
to massage the tightness out of them from the kneeling. “My boy,” Rick
whispered, kissing the top of Carl’s head.
Carl keened, leaning on his father tiredly and going up the stairs together.
They both collapsed in Rick’s—their—bed, exhaustedly.
 
---
 
Rick was not happy that he had to leave a sleeping Carl all alone in that big
bed, but he had to go to work. He smiled to himself at Carl's sleeping
position. On his stomach with one leg extended straight and one bent up at the
knee. The sheets and blankets had moved conveniently around the boy's form to
reveal one pale butt cheek. Rick adjusted the blankets so the boy was
completely covered, and he left.
The man sent a wakeup text to the boy at 7:30 so he could get up for school.
Rick: Morning. Get up. School. Now.
Rick: ;)
Carl: Noooooooooooooooooo
Rick: Yes.
Carl: Do I have to?
Carl: Daddy?
Rick: Yes.
Rick: Baby.
Carl: Damn.
Rick: Gotta keep it real, son.
Carl: Omg, I'll go. just pls stop. Go catch 'perps' or something.
Rick: I always do. And even if I don't stop, you're going to school.
 
---
 
"Rick, Jesus Christ. You don't call. You don't write. All weekend? What the
fuck man?" Shane boomed when Rick walked into the station.
"Ahh," Rick said, covering his probably damaged ear. "Sorry, Shane. Was busy."
"Doin' what? Doin' who? Details man, shit, last time I talked to you you said
you met somebody, now I don't hear a goddamn peep outta you. What's goin' on?"
Rick smirked, "Where's Daryl? I need backup...especially this early."
"Nah, nah," Shane laughed, "Just me and you for now."
Rick chuckled and shrugged, "I had a long...talk with Carl," he began.
"And?" Shane urged.
"I decided to wait. I uh--," Rick scratched his head,  "I'm deleting my
profile. Gonna stop lookin'."
"This for Carl?" Shane clarified, "Or you just pussin' out?"
Rick shrugged, "He doesn't want me to find someone else, and I don't want to
either."
Rick continued, "Me and him are fine on our own. I don't need anybody else.
Carl's my boy. I got all I need."
Shane nodded, "Yeah, man. Exactly. I wasn't gonna say nothin', but yeah, that's
the right choice. Carl needs you. You got your son. Don't need no girlfriends
hangin' around, gettin' in the way of that."
"I couldn't agree more," Rick smiled.
 
---
 
Rick was eager for the end of the day. Work was slow and all he could think
about was what he and Carl could be getting up to once he got home. He'd
resisted texting his boy all day, wanting to keep himself waiting, wanting to
keep Carl waiting. Rick finally gave in and texted Carl at the end of the day
when it was absolutely necessary.
 
Rick: Do you need me to pick you up?
Carl: Yes please.
Rick: Ok.
Carl: Are you alone?
Rick smirked, typing out a response.
Rick: You bet.
Carl: Good. I have another video for you.
Rick: Lucky me.
Carl: ;)
 
Rick leaned back in his desk chair, waiting for the video to show up on his
phone. He would definitely get used to this.
 
---
 
When Carl got into the cruiser, the first thing he did was put his hand on his
father's thigh, looking at him mischievously.
"So you liked the video?" Carl wondered.
Rick looked over at his son with raised eyebrows, "Probably too much."
Carl smirked, looking out the window as Rick drove them home.
"Carl seriously, you--" Rick began, choosing his words carefully. "You don't
know how special you are. Special to me," he emphasized.
The boy smiled, looking at his father from under his eyelashes, "You too."
After a few minutes of driving, the sexual tension was off the hook, and Carl
blurted, "I have to tell you something else."
"Hmm," Rick encouraged.
"The night I came to sleep with you...you know in the morning?"
Rick thought, trying to place the memory, "Oh yeah," he blushed, "Yeah."
"You know where I took those pictures right?"
"You didn't," Rick said skeptically. "You were playin' with yourself right next
to me?"
"Yeah," Carl laughed. "I didn't know whether it was good you didn't wake up or
bad."
Rick hardened in his slacks, "You're gonna kill me." He took a hand off the
wheel to grab himself, but Carl brushed his hand away.
"Not yet," Carl said. "We're almost home."
"I've been waitin' all day for you," Rick complained.
Carl winked, "Besides, I have something I want us to do first before we do
anything else like this," he eyed Rick's crotch.
 
---
 
As soon as the two Grimes walked in the door, Carl sprinted to his room.
Rick was confused, but it became clear when Carl returned with his laptop.
"Get yours, Dad."
Rick went to the kitchen table where he'd left it the day before, and opened it
up.
"We're deleting our profiles," Carl declared. "Together."
"What about all those conversations?" Rick asked. "I might want to read 'em
again."
"Nope," Carl argued, "None of it matters, right? Like you said. We need to do
this."
Rick sighed, "I'm keepin' the pictures and the video though. I don't care."
Carl laughed, "Me too."
They deleted their profiles on the count of 3, laughing at themselves. Rick
pulled Carl onto his lap, kissing his neck.
"So?" Rick asked. "What next, boss?"
"I'm hungry."
"Tacos?" Rick guessed.
"Yes," Carl nodded.
"Let me just change," Rick said, standing up despite Carl being nicely settled.
"Aweh, I like the uniform though," Carl whined.
"I know," Rick smirked, "We'll save it for later."
"Shit," Carl said. "I'm holding you to that."
"You better," Rick agreed, going up the stairs to his room.
Dinner with his son. Dinner with his lover. He didn't know what to call it, but
he knew he was happy. Carl was all he needed.
 
End Notes
     grimesobcest.tumblr.com
     Special thanks to TheChandle_Nator for his opinions and insights. xx
     Also lol at my cropjobs of those 2 pics. Ahaha. Not much to work with
     on Google.
     Hope you enjoyed xx
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