Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/10837611. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: F/F, F/M, M/M Fandom: Undertale Relationship: Sans_(Undertale)/Reader, Sans_(Undertale)_&_Reader, Alphys_/_Undyne, Toriel_/_Asgore, Papyrus_/_Mettaton, Original_Character_/_Original Character Character: Sans_(Undertale), Papyrus_(Undertale), Alphys_(Undertale), Original Female_Character(s), Original_Male_Character(s), Undyne_(Undertale), Toriel_(Undertale), Frisk_(Undertale), Asgore_Dreemurr, Mettaton_ (Undertale), Alex, Jess Additional Tags: Chat_Logs, Smut_in_chapter_69, yes_that_was_a_pun_indeed, i'm_so_stupid, why_am_i_like_this Stats: Published: 2017-05-06 Updated: 2017-06-11 Chapters: 55/82 Words: 55981 ****** Chat Logs - Sans x Reader ****** by Esmee_(BasicallySenpai) Summary Sans and Alex happen to meet on a chatbox. What becomes of them when they have 25 days of intense texting, and then meet in real life? This fiction is a slowburn and was originally posted on wattpad. Notes See the end of the work for notes ***** A New Friend ***** Sans is online!   Sans: Heya Sans: You prob don't know me but I saw your post 'bout science and I thought it was clever and well done. You: I think you might be.. overreacting ;) You: I make horrible science puns periodically lol Sans: why Sans: You are my new favorite person You: I made like 2 puns wow Sans: They were pretty sansational though ;))) You: did you just You: you did You: I'll crown you to punmaster Sans: Wow didn't know I could get crowned again You: psh, asshole You: I gave you a compliment Sans: And I gave you an answer You: Wow that's quite inskullking if you ask me Sans: Tibia honest, that was a really humerus pun You: Wow two puns in one sentence.. you're really driving me bonenanas here Sans: lmao okay so I haven't heard that one before Sans: So what's your name? Sans: (just making conversation here) You: what if you were a stalker Sans: then get into my van You: shit okay I'm alex Sans: Nice name. Sans: I'm sans btw. Sans: you could have guessed that You: I did wow I feel really smart You: I have the ability to read You: praise me Sans: *Praises* Sans: So any hobbies? You: I like science and reading I guess. Sans: nice You: you? Sans: science as well. dunno I sleep most of the day You: such an interesting life Sans: ikr Sans: what do think about monsters though? You: Idk I'm not bothered by them. I met a few, and they're really nice You: like, I can't understand why you would discriminate them Sans: nice Sans: .. Sans: so Same: I'm a skeleton Sans: hi You: well hi mr. skeleton Sans: you ain't shocked or anything? You: why would I be? You: hip hip hooray I'm chatting with a skeleton Sans: well you are the first one who doesn't click away when I tell them I'm a skele so thanks You: nahw You: so what are you doing at a chatbox at like 3 am? Sans: Trying to get kids into my van Sans: jk Sans: idk I was bored You: shit wait do you have candy Sans: why You: i'd come into your van if you had candy Sans: what even is this convo You: idk Sans: lol You: SO WHAT ABOUT YOUR LIFE Sans: what about it? You: WeLL HOW WAS THE UNDERGROUND Sans: well uh there was no sky You: oh Sans: just stating the facts You: Any family? Sans: Just one brother Sans: Are you trying to get me into your van now? You: I might You: what if we did like a twenty questions thing Sans: whats the twenty questions thing You: its like I ask you a question, you ask me one, I ask you one, and so on You: SO You: YES Sans: ok okok Sans: So ms. alex.. whats your favorite color? You: Dark blue You: Now boneboy, whats your occupation? Sans: (whwat if I was a girl what then) I work a bunch of jobs You: (wow helpful) Sans: Okay humangirl, whats your occupation? You: I work at a bar yay You: ALSO WHAT IF IM NOT A GIRL HUH? You: HMMM?? You: I AM HURT Sans: calm down child You: ok You: So how does monster anatomy work? Sans: wow Sans: I can explain this Sans: wait for it Sans: 4 Sans: 3 Sans: 2 Sans: 1 Sans: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmagic You: why r u like this Sans: SO NOW Sans: How does human anatomy work? You: ok You: guess what You: idk You: cells. You: blood. Sans: 10/10 You: What's your favorite type of ice-cream Sans: Blueberry Sans: What do you look like? You: are you trying to stalk me and get me in ur van Sans: that's obvious isn't it You: yeah duh You: I have like brown hair with green eyes yay You: NOW MY QUESTION MUSHWHA Sans: oh god You: WHAT DO YOU LOOK LIKE Sans: like a skeleton You: ... Sans: Have you ever seen a skeleton in real life? Yeah: yes Sans: imagine that skeleton wearing clothes. boom that's me You: 10/10 Sans: Okay whats the most embarrassing thing you've ever done You: (I'm one pile of embarrassing moments and I'm just an awkward bean in general don't hurt me this way) You: uh You: like I cried because we were watching shrek in class one time and I just couldn't stop laughing and crying and everyone looked at me Sans: shrekislove You: dude you have been on the surface for 4 months and you have already watched that filth Sans: sans is love sans is life You: pls Sans: I discovered the memes when I went on the internet Sans: I cried a little when I saw other people who shared my kind of humor Sans: somE BODY ONCE TOLD ME You: I feel you Sans: did you fart because you blew me away You: pls Sans: damn girl are you sitting on my f5 key cus ur ass is refreshing You: *cries* Sans: therewillbeonly7planetsleftafteridestroyuranus You: ;-; Sans: nice shoes. wanna fuck You: SKDJF:LKSJ You: what an asshole Sans: I used pick up lines Sans: I'm still trying to get you into my van You: o You: oh You: oooh You: OOHOOOOOOH HAHAH You: your jokes are lame Sans: I lost my teddy bear wanna sleep with me You: didn't you have a brother You: also you're lame pff Sans: yeah what about him? You: nothing I'm just trying to change the subject without you noticing Sans: oh cool You: so about your brother You: older or younger? Sans: younger than me You: also Sans: ? You: Are you a Jamaican You: because Jamaican me crazy You: eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Sans: lol Sans: I gtg though. tomorrow same time? You: yea sure Sans: Bye :D You: bye boneboy ***** Double Trouble ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes You: Hi You: You there? You: I guess not? You: Didn't think you'd come You: oh well Sans is now online! Sans: Heya Sans: Sorry my bro needed his bed time story You: Oh no pressure family comes first right? Sans: Right You: So what's your brother like? Sans: He's a skeleton too You: wow I couldn't have predicted that Sans: He's tall, unlike me. And sportive, unlike me You: so you're a short and lazy skeleton Sans: yup You: well we have that in common then You: apart from the fact that I'm not a skeleton Sans: He's 17 btw. Sans: And yes he gets a bed time story Sans: And yes that was a thing in the underground You: fair enough You: How old are you btw Sans: 49 You: .. You: ................................oh Sans: jk Sans: 21 You: lmao I thought the van thing was real for one second Sans: ;) Sans: you? You: oh I'm just a 12 year old child Sans: lmao Sans: well this is kinda awkward then huh You: I have ponytails Sans: amaze You: yes cus I'm obviously a 12 year old child with the love for science and their laptop Sans: kids these days You: I'm 20 lol Sans: *sweats* You: *throws towel* You: use it wisely boneboy. Sans: so how was your day fleshgirl Sans: oh god I'm never gonna say fleshgirl again You: ew You: meh kinda shit You: I might have hit someone when I was working Sans: what You: they were discriminating monsters You: so yeah You: I felt like my fist belonged on their face You: I JUST GOT REALLY PISSED BECAUSE THERE WAS THIS ARROGANT FUCKING LADY TELLING A MONSTER OFF AND SKLD:FJKSLJDf Sans: savage Sans: thanks for standing up for us btw Sans: means a lot. not everyone does that You: no problemo Pablo Sans: cool cool [Sans changed their name to Pablo] You: really Pablo: yes my amigo You: ... Pablo: whats with the dotto I'm only trying to talko You: maybeo you shouldo noto do dato Pablo: but I'm Pablo You: pls [Pablo changed their name to mememaster69] You: this is even worse Mememaster69: whaddaya meme Mememaster69: I wanted to type mean but I typed meme shit waddup You: .. You: pls You: also dat boi is an old meme you shouldn't call yourself a mememaster Mememaster69: sorry I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed You: seriously if there wasn't human internet in the underground, did you spend like 5 hours a day on the internet. You: meming Mememaster69: what if I did You: then you can be my best friend Mememaster69: i guess i made myself a new best friend then You: nice You: you got any other friends? Mememaster69: yup Mememaster69: i have a bunch of monster friends. I'm short on humans You: you are always short Mememaster69: I'm big where it counts though Mememaster69: ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) [Mememaster69 has changed their name to SexySkele] You: i cant even rn You: i gotta ask though SexySkele: ? You: have you ever had sex while camping? SexySkele: uh well thats kinda private You: its fucking intents SexySkele: .. SexySkele: lmao SexySkele: you have 1 skeleton inside you. Want another one You: ... You: oh You: .. You: do you sell hot dogs You: cus you sure know how to make a wiener stand SexySkele: fun fact SexySkele: i do SexySkele: LIKE THE SELLING HOT DOGS THING You: HAHA You: LOL GAY You: same You: Do you have 11 protons? Cus you're sodium cute <33333 SexySkele: I'd periodically do you on a table You: i love you more than food SexySkele: damn You: jkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjk SexySkele: well this is fun SexySkele: imma grab something to drink brb You: k SexySkele: HELLO DEAR HUMAN! SexySkele: NYEH You: back already? SexySkele: NO THIS IS HIS GREAT BROTHER PAPYRUS You: Oh hi papyrus :D SexySkele: WHY DOES SANS HAVE THIS USERNAME You: reasons You: don't scroll up You: pls SexySkele: SANS WAS LAUGHING REALLY HARD SO I THOUGHT I SHOULD CHECK UP ON HIM BUT HE'S IN THE KITCHEN NOW You: lol You: you can also not press caps btw SexySkele: WHAT IS A CAPS SexySkele: NYEHAHAHEH You: its like the capital letter thing SexySkele: OH WELL I CANT FIND IT SexySkele: ARE YOU A FRIEND OF SANS? You: yup SexySkele: OH WELL ITS GREAT TO MEET YOU HUMAN You: I'm alex btw :D You: Its also great to meet you Pap SexySkele: ARE YOU COMING TO VISIT SOON? You: dunno. idk where you two live SexySkele: WELL SANS TOLD ME TO NOT GIVE OUR ADRES TO PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET. THEREFORE I WONT GIVE MY ADRES, OH HOW IT HURTS. DENYING A FRIEND You: its ok bro SexySkele: WOWIE MY BROTHER SAYS BRO TOO You: its a pretty common thing to say lol You: so do you have any hobbies? SexySkele: I LOVE COOKING! SexySkele: I LOVE SPAGHETTI SexySkele: SPAGHETTI IS MY HOBBY You: Do you like.. make it yourself? SexySkele: YES! I LEARNED TO MAKE IT WITH A FRIEND You: That's so cool :D I wish i could cook SexySkele: I COULD LEARN YOU SexySkele: WAIT NO You: its okay papyrus SexySkele: SO DO YOU HAVE ANY GREAT HOBBYS HUMAN? You: well i like being on my laptop and watching anime and other series on netflix idk. i love science as well :d SexySkele: ANIME! I HAVE TWO FRIENDS, ALPHYS AND UNDYNE WHO LIKE ANIME! SANS LOVES SCIENCE TOO :DDDDD (AND IM PRETTY SURE YOU TWO SHOULD GET MARRIED BECAUSE HE LOVES HIS COMPUTER) You: ill consider it SexySkele: CAN I BE THE BEST MAN? SexySkele: BECAUSE I AM VERY GREAT You: sure SexySkele: NYEHHEHEHEH OH WAIT MY BROTHER IS COMING BACK SexySkele: HE SAYS I SHOULD GO SLEEP SexySkele: GOODBYE HUMAN ALEX! You: Bye pap :D SexySkele: wow SexySkele: I'm like 4 minutes away and ur already considering marriage You: sshh You: ALSO IM SO AWKWARD You: DO YOU EVEN NOTICE HOW I TALK TO YOU VS TO YOUR BROTHER IDK SJDF:KLJSD SexySkele: Did you like my bro? You: he seems cool ;) SexySkele: nice You: he is still so pure though You: like wow SexySkele: wait I'm reading back the convo SexySkele: nice that he remembers what i said about the internet to him You: yup You: I'm sure you are a good brother to him :p SexySkele: I'm trying my best You: anyway, its getting kinda late. and I'm tired SexySkele: like my van You: yes You: but srsly imma sleep SexySkele: same time tomorrow? You: sure SexySkele: Bye then :) You: BYE BABE You: (gotta be romantic if i wanna marry) SexySkele: you can be my vertebae You: nice You: you can be like my You: uh You: Fleshoe SexySkele: so I'm a hoe now SexySkele: I'm calling divorce You: NO You: BYE Chapter End Notes If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know! Follow me on social media! Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel Instagram: @Esmeemotional Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies ***** Pretty Positive ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes SexySkele: Heeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllooooooooooooooo You: HEIIIIIII BONEBOY SexySkele: HEY FLESHGIRL You: you rlly want to call me that? SexySkele: I'm positive. You: Hi proton. SexySkele: Hi neutron [SexySkele changed their name to SexyProton] You: wow wait You: do you know the show Jimmy Neutron? SexyProton: I believe my bro and a friend were watching that. SexyProton: so yes You: what if Jimmy neutron in another dimension was like a badboy and he would be named Jimmy Proton SexyProton: that would be glorious SexyProton: So how was your day? You: fine I guess. I didn't feel the urge to punch someone so it was a good day :))) You: You? SexyProton: meh was all right You: what do you do for work btw SexyProton: I have a couple of jobs actually SexyProton: like I work at a hotdog stand and at an ice cream shop and all that sorta stuff You: nice You: or should I say ice You: plsdontkillme SexyProton: I FuCkInG sNoRtEd SexyProton: how did I snort I don't have a nose You: maybe my friend nose it You: haha You: hahahh SexyProton: ... You: ha SexyProton: Seriously HOW You: hey that snot what I meant SexyProton: IM SCREAMING You: I'm just imagining a skeleton making distressed noises rn You: ha SexyProton: I smell another bad pun coming You: what do you call a nose without a body You: nobody nose SexyProton: pls SexyProton: So a friend of pap is sleeping over and she almost burned the house ha You: nice You: she's a smoking hot girl then? SexyProton: meh not my type SexyProton: BUT HER SPAGHETTI IS BETTER SO I JUST ASKED HER TO MAKE A BUNCH You: is your bro's cooking that bad? SexyProton: dude come over and eat his spaghetti SexyProton: I dare you You: ok ok ok ok SexyProton: I'm here in my room and I can hear them screaming help You: everything all right thre? You: there* SexyProton: yeah they yell quite a lot SexyProton: at the tv that is SexyProton: seems like another friend has knocked the door down You: tough life there SexyProton: imma just hide here with my laptop You: how can one knock a door down though SexyProton: with their legs SexyProton: (hes a robot) You: lol You: wait what SexyProton: like their legs You: it woulnt happen to be mettaton would it? SexyProton: you know the guy? You: My friend keeps talking about him You: like dude You: i'd say she has a crush SexyProton: believe me, he's even worse irl You: lmao my friend would be freaking out if she would ever met him SexyProton: He kind of likes my brother I think SexyProton: worse is SexyProton: Pap likes him back You: omg yes You: so you two are gonna be family then SexyProton: of course I hope for pap it works out BUT HECK I DONT WANNA BE FAMILY WITH A TOASTER You: same I feel your pain SexyProton: I hope you don't lmao SexyProton: wait I'm being called to the living room SexyProton: what should I do I don't wanna socialize You: say that you're fapping or something ikd SexyProton: I'm a skeleton. You: lol yes uh You: hmmmmmmmmmm SexyProton: doesn't mean I cant fap You: wait what SexyProton: mmmmmmmmmagic SexyProton: HOLD ON SexyProton: wait ill take my laptop with me to prevent people getting on here You: okok SexyProton: I'm in the living room now kill me You: rip You: Sans has gone on a forced socialize trip. And he hasn't been in his bedroom for a few days SexyProton: what You: its funny if you understand You: spend more time on tumblr boneboy You: its a supernatural reference Sexyproton: jaksflaaf7y8uw9e7fvhyuijo987efiohdaskj839uieo You: ? Sexyproton: 489iuejokd SexyProton: 84uewoiajskjowi;jsk You: calm down my dude SexyProton: FUHUHUHUH SexyProton: WHO ARE YOU You: oh hi You: I'm alex You: you're one of sans' friends I assume? SexyProton: YEs SexyProton: LOL SexyProton: PAPYRUS HAS LOCKED SANS IN HIS GRIP HAHAHA You: lmao You: So whats your name? SexyProton: The name's Undyne :D SexyProton: HA HES MAKING LIKE DISTRESSED NOISES You: HAHAHA SexyProton: why the fuck is sans called sexyproton You: long long story SexyProton: what SexyProton: wait ill scroll back You: NO SexyProton: lol you're a nerd SexyProton: I HAVE A NERDY GIRLFRIEND You: nice SexyProton: WAIT YOU LIKE ANIME? You: YOU SCROLLED THAT FAR UP? SexyProton: YES HAHAHA SexyProton: MY DUDE I LOVE ANIME SexyProton: DO YOU LIKE DRAGON BALL Z? You: Yup SexyProton: YeS THE FIGHT SCENES ARE AWESOME! SexyProton: HAAHKDSJFSLDHAHAHAH SexyProton: SANS IS MAKING DISTRESSED NOISES AGAIN AHAH You: Lmao You: so you're a good cook? SexyProton: THE BEST You: And you can cook pasta? SexyProton: YES You: You should teach me sometime. cookin seems inpastable for me You: So sad though, it seems that I don't have enough thyme to do that SexyProton: IM RELEASING SANS BYE You: HAHA SexyProton: JESUS PAPYRUS IS STRONG SexyProton: nice puns tho You: *bows* SexyProton: lol shes screaming You: I guess cheese still not over it SexyProton: Pap and undyne are gonna make pasta now. Hope that the house doesn't burn down You: same You: if Papyrus was a hooker, and you had to pay him with pasta, what would you call him SexyProton: ? You: a pastatude SexyProton: penne for your thoughts You: lmao You: Wait hold on my friend is calling SexyProton: tell her about the mtt thing that's gonna be fun You: okok hold on [ SexyProton changed their name to Sans ] You: JESUS CHRIST SHE SCREAMED IN MY EAR You: I ALMOST BROKE MY PHONE THANKS Sans: LMAo You: SHE ASKED WHERE YOU LIVED Sans: HAHA STALKER Sans: Also, Ebott town You: Like the mountain Sans: ye You: rip that's literally on the other side of the world Sans: so far for meeting then You: ;-; Sans: what is life You: dunno man Sans: hold on I smell fire You: okok You: and? Sans: they only burned their sauce You: phew Sans: ew mettaton is posing on the table why does he do that You: pure torture Sans: rip You: anyway, my friend is coming over idk what she wants You: she probably wants to devour my soul or something idk Sans: You have monster friends? You: not irl You: ON THE INTERNET ONLY Sans: So we're friends? You: YEAH Sans: fuck You: ? Sans: Friendzoned Sans: Also monsters can devour souls You: welp fuck my life then You: gtg You: same time tomorrow? Sans: Sure. I'm having dinner soon so yeha Sans: BYE FLESHCHILD You: BYEBONEBOY Chapter End Notes If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know! Follow me on social media! Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel Instagram: @Esmeemotional Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies ***** They get worse every time ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes Sans is now online! Sans: So... how was hanging out w/ your friend? You: It was pretty fun actually :p We watched spirited away Sans: I think I heard Alphys talk about that movie.. is it worth the watch? You: YES! I loved it so much I can't You: who's Alphys btw You: IS IT YOUR GIRLFRIEND Sans: undynes gf You: Oh I heard her talking about her You: she is also a nerd? Sans: Yup You: nice You: so You: how You: has You: your You: day You: been Sans: well I had a free day today Sans: So I went to visit the kid with Pap You: the kid? Sans: oh right. Well they're called Frisk and they're the ambassador of monsters Sans: So I Went there with pap and hung out with tori for like the rest of the day You: (dunnowhotoriisbutok) Sans: Tori is the queen of monsters. Her ex is Asgore, the king of monsters You: dude You: you hang out with the Queen of monsters? Sans: Yup Sans: we have a friendly history together though Sans: wanna hear it? You: Sure :)) Sans: So in the underground, there was a village I lived in: Snowdin. And I was walking trough the forest one day, and found this huge door. Sans: So I thought: Lets practice my knock knock jokes here Sans: One day, I was knockin' him out as usual, and someone behind that door actually laughed. I smirked and told more jokes. Sans: Then, she tells a joke Sans: And that was basically how I met tori You: *sniffs* You: this could be in a game or something You: like you are a laid back character in the game with this cool past Sans: I'd play it You: same You: What does the underground look like though? Sans: Never been to it? Sans: You can visit it now lol You: (I'm on the other side of the world what did you expect) Sans: true Sans: So there are like a couple of regions You: okok Sans: You have Snowdin, Waterfalls, Hotland and the core You: nice Sans: I lived in Snowdin with pap. Undyne lived in Waterfalls and Alphys and Mettaton lived in Hotland You: Who lived in the core? Sans: some monsters. Not much though You: Would you go ever back there? Sans: Dunno. I like it up here. You: Ikr you can have the wind in your hair as you ride your cool car You: ... You: if you're wearing a wig that is Sans: Pap has a cool car actually Sans: It's like a red race car You: nice You: By the way, what do your friends look like? You: (I kinda want to have a face by the name) Sans: You sure you aren't some 58 guy? You: Last time I checked I was Sans: ok ok Sans: Well uh well you know mettaton You: yes You: What do undyne and alphys look like? Sans: Uh well undyne is like a blue fish lady with an eyepatch and red hair You: 'fish lady' Sans: tch Sans: Alphys is like a yellow dinosaur/lizard with a labcoat and glasses You: nice nice Sans: So you know who to pick up in your van now You: *sighs* finally Sans: I'd pick you up but i'd rather take you out Sans: ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) You: go use your pickup lines on tori boneboy Sans: ew she is like 100000 years old You: lol Sans: Nah she belongs with Asgore You: cute cute Sans: Did you fart Sans: because you blew me away You: help me Sans: So what are you wearing Sans: (IM ASKING FOR A FRiEND) You: WELL IM WEARING SWEATPANTS You: and a shirt You: lol Sans: the sweatpants would look even better if it would be accelerating towards my bedroom floor at 9.8m/s You: ... You: ............... Sans: .. You: are your mom and dad religious You: CUS YOU SURE ARE THE BOMB You: cue laughing Sans: pls Sans: ....... You: lmao You: you're an asshole xx Sans: oh btw alphys asked me this You: ? Sans: Are you from Japan? You: nope Sans: ah that's too bad cus I would have been all up in japanties You: that's even worse You: .. You: I'm so proud Sans: How did you not block me yet You: dunno man. I'm easy to amuse Sans: So I'm easy amusement? You: Well after tonight you're gonna be hard amusement You: ;))))))) You: ;))))))))))) Sans: YOU TRICKED ME You: HAHAHAH Sans: IM PROUD BtW You: HAHA You: I can't rn I'm proud of that one Sans: same same Sans: Are you a 90 degree angle? Cus you sure are looking right You: oh You: btw my sister came with this math problem Sans: you have a sister? You: Idk I couldn't solve it Sans: Lay it on me You: Y + U = 25 You: like I don't get it Sans: ? You: oh wait You: Y must be 15 cus U sure are a 10 Sans: ... Sans: ... Sans: that was smooth You: I'm so smooth Sans: You dropped something You: what Sans: my jaw You: wait can you actually detach stuff You: like your arms and shit Sans: yup You: that's so cool damn Sans: ew mettaton is coming tonight to make 'a big announcement' You: ha Sans: pity me, you don't have to sit around and look at a dramatic robot You: believe me, when I'm with my friend, I do Sans: well how about we throw ourselves a pity party then You: was that a melanie martinez reference You: anyway, You: sure Sans: Oh he's here You: Tomorrow? Sans: same time You: Ya Sans: BYE You: BYE You: btw my body has 206 bones want to give me another one You: OK BYE HAHA Chapter End Notes Thanks for all the kudo's and nice comments :))))) --- If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know! Follow me on social media! Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel Instagram: @Esmeemotional Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies ***** The Tour ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes Sans is now online! Sans: Sup my ladydude You: sup my manlydude Sans: Did you hear the mtt news? You: Mtt is gonna tour right? Sans: yup Sans: I'm coming with him btw You: how come? I thought you hated him? Sans: I truly do, but I need to protect papyrus You: nahw Sans: so yeah Sans: 40+ days on a tourbus with a toaster You: Looking forward to it? Sans: n o p e Sans: damn I hope I have wifi You: ur with mtt You: he has like You: HE IS THE WiFI Sans: yes Sans: im gonna take my laptop with me hehe You: yay You: lemme know how the tour is then Sans: I'll have to work there btw Sans: probably gonna run a hot dog stand there You: coolio Sans: ew I have to hear screaming girls every night You: don't put that out of context You: ;)))) Sans: I swear to god why do i even talk 2 u You: because u love me Sans: tru ;) You: lol You: my friend is probably freaking out lolol Sans: what's their name tho You: it's Jess Sans: so jess the obsessed fangirl You: basically You: I still remember the day I introduced her to tumblr Sans: oh god You: That was a memorable day You: I loved it You: she was like You: fangirling Sans: lol You: then she saw the mtt tag Sans: oh god You: she You: started You: screaming You: at the screen Sans: poor screen You: it was epic Sans: nice Sans: oh by the way Sans: pap wanted to talk to you You: oh sure Sans: here he comes :D You: HI PAP Sans: HELLO THERE HUMAN BEHIND THE COMPUTER! You: HEYA Sans: HOW HAS YOUR DAY BEEN FELLOW FRIEND? You: It was good actually. I work at a café and idk it just was a good day. Sans: THAT SEEMS LIKE A FUN JOB! I WORK AT A FLOWERSTORE You: That's so cool! Sans: I KNOW! You: So how has your day been? Sans: IT WAS RATHER GOOD! THANK YOU FOR ASKING HUMAN :D You: Oh hold on pap my friend is calling me. Sans: OKAY Sans: ARE YOU THERE HUMAN ALEX? Sans: ARE YOU STILL CALLING? Sans: ?? Sans: HUMAN ALEX ARE YOU THERE? Sans: NYEH?? You: ohmygod You: uh pap? Sans: YES? You: can you call sans for a minute? Sans: OFCOURSE Sans: sup You: ohmygo You: sans You: sans You: sans You: sans Sans: calm your tits You: shh Sans: Sup? You: you know my friend right Sans: no but yes You: So You: phew so ohmgod You: She booked two tickets to the show Sans: ohmygod You: we actually get to meet????? Sans: AAAAaaAWsSSSSaAAaaaAa You: sdkajflkasjd Sans: ohmygodyes You: :DDDDDDDD Sans: doesn't she know you don't like him btw You: nope Sans: lol You: I mean like I like his music a little bit. Its not my kind of music though Sans: What are ya into? You: you ;) You: jk You: like You: bands Sans: as in? You: you want me to list all of them? Sans: Yes? You: My chemical romance, Panic! At the disco, fall out boy, falling in reverse, paramore, muse, gorillaz, blink-182, nirvana, green day, ac/dc, the all-americain rejects, black veil brides, imagine dragons, Melanie Martinez (she's not a band), red hot chili peppers, set it off, rise against, the smashing pumpkins, Queen, the Beatles, Foals and the weekend. Sans: welp Sans: that's a lot You: Yup Sans: so in how many days is the concert? You: uh lemme see You: 20 what You: wait what Sans: what You: what Sans: help You: shit dude I have to get cool clothes so you will not think of me as a trashy pig Sans: what if I already do You: well fuck Sans: jk ur fine You: what if I'm a 58 year old man Sans: well fuck You: we get to meet aajdkajsd;lk Sans: ITS SO SOON THOUGH You: I can't brb Sans: 20 DAYS???????? Sans: That's like one of the first concerts Sans: the 3rd You: *slow claps* You: jess sure doesn't want any spoilers Sans: lol You: ITS SO SOON 20 DAYS Sans: I'm still freaking out Sans: Papyrus is asking me why I make weird noises You: lol Sans: tELL HIM URSELF You: OK Sans: NYEH HELLO HUMAN! HERE I AM AGAIN You: Hi :D Sans: WHY IS SANS MAKING THESE NOISES? You: WELL You: You are going with on tour right Sans: YES OF COURSE Sans: ALPHYS AND UNDYNE WILL BE THERE TOO Sans: ALPHYS FOR EVENTUAL FIXING OF MTT AND UNDYNE JUST WANTED TO TAG ALONG You: ohmygod You: jskldjafkls;jd Sans: IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG Sans: ARE YOU MAKING NOISES AS WELL You: YEP You: PAP IM GOING TO BE AT THE CONCERT IN 20 DAYS Sans: NYEH Sans: THAT IS GREAT! Sans: YOU CAN MEET EVERYONE! You: I KNOW You: THATS WHY IM FREAKING OUT You: dkja;sldfjasld;kjfa; Sans: DONT SLAM YOUR KEY BOARD :D Sans: I'm here again hi You: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME You: AAAAAAAAAAAa You: I GET TO MEET EVERYONE You: JSKDJFKSLJL Sans: SORRY I WAS JUsT FREAKING OUT I COULDN'T THINK STRAIGHT OK You: i can never think straight lol im gay You: jk You: im bi ur fooled Sans: NICe You: SSDK:JKLSDKJ Sans: AAAAAAaa You: I'm still screaming in and outside Sans: same You: what if I'm just screaming at my crappy laptop rn Sans: what if you are You: dunno You: I'm slowly getting soaked into my laptop Sans: lolol Sans: wait Sans: its like 7 PM at my place You: yesh Sans: how late is it at yours? You: oh You: haha You: you know You: 4 AM Sans: ... You: the bags under my eyes look brighter than my future Sans: same You: HA You: IM STILL FREAKING OUT Sans: GO SLEEP ITS 4 AM You: OKAY You: WELL You: GOOD NIGHT THEN Sans: YES YOU TOO You: :DD Sans: SLEEP Chapter End Notes If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know! Follow me on social media! Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel Instagram: @Esmeemotional Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies ***** Serious Banter ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes Sans: 19 DAYS You: AAAAAAAA Sans: How are you awake at 4 am tho You: well I have like a fucked up sleep rhythm due to my insomnia :')))) You: So that means that I can stay up longer You: idk I don't need that much sleep You: I can have like 5 hours of sleep and that's ok for me Sans: Nice Sans: A fellow insomniac You: you too? Sans: yup You: How come? Sans: Well it started off with these nightmares Sans: Lets just say something happened in the underground which traumatized me Sans: And it happened more than one time Sans: So I got nightmares from that Sans: And I eventually gave up on sleeping Sans: So I have like 3 hours of sleep You: Arent you tired? Sans: Nah I sleep throughout the day You: Well same goes for me I guess You: I had nightmares too so I stopped sleeping You: I don't mind not sleeping though which sounds weird to you probs Sans: ? You: Well I have more time for myself and I can go out and ride anywhere when it's dark 'cause it's not busy on the roads Sans: true true Sans: Same goes for me I guess You: nice You: I'm with my friend btw You: we did a sleepover thing Sans: Coolio You: Imma make some coffee brb Sans: okki Sans: I'll just be lonely here Sans: sooooo lonely [Sans changed their name to Lonelyguy69] Lonelyguy69: ha ha I'm so alone You: HELLO You: HI You: HAHAH I UNLOCKED ALEX HER LAPTOP You: Who the fuck are you Lonelyguy69: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm? Lonelyguy69: I'm sans Lonelyguy69: hi You: OH SANS You: are you like the skeleton alex is constantly talking about Lonelyguy69: I guess?? Lonelyguy69: What did she say bout me tho You: Oh you know You: SANS BBY <3 Lonelyguy69: ... Lonelyguy69: did my pickuplines work You: I guess so lol You: so tell me about yourself You: hmm Lonelyguy69: well I'm abandoned by alex Lonelyguy69: SHE LEFT ME FOR COFFEE You: lol wait she is coming back Lonelyguy69: k Lonelyguy69: heiiiiii alex You: what You: WAIT JESS You: hold on i'll sue her Lonelyguy69: okok You: did it You: btwimnotalwaystalkingaboutyou Lonelyguy69: HMM WELL JeSS SAID DIFFERENT?? Lonelyguy69: YOU LOOOOOVE ME [Lonelyguy69 changed their name to lovelyskeledude69] lovelyskeledude69: ha lovelyskeledude69: alex loves me You: P L A T O N I C lovelyskeledude69: lol wait that reminds me of something lovelyskeledude69: One time, when frisk fell into the underground they went on a date with Papyrus You: what isn't frisk like 8 and pap like 17 lovelyskeledude69: let it be lovelyskeledude69: so papyrus asked frisk out on a date and it was fun lovelyskeledude69: then at the end of the date papyrus wanted a platonic relationship You: lol lovelyskeledude69: the date was at home and he literally said: lovelyskeledude69: "WE CAN GO INSIDE AND DO WHAT PEOPLE DO ON A DATE" lovelyskeledude69: I tried so hard not to laugh You: HAHAH lovelyskeledude69: they were heading into papyrus' room You: ohmygod You: HAHAHAHHA You: Alex.exe has stopped working [ lovelyskeledude69 has changed their name to Sans ] Sans: ye that kid can be pretty great You: are they coming on tour as well? Sans: Dunno Sans: don't think so tho Sans: don't think tori will let them You: ah You: but You: 19 DAyS! Sans: ks;ajdklalsdj Sans: ew so mettaton was here again Sans: and he gave me this ugly shirt Sans: with his head on it Sans: actually it was a bunch of those ugly shirts Sans: and I have to wear them on tour You: lololol You: Sansaton You: shipit Sans: alesans ;)))) You: Salex ;))) Sans: are we seriously shipping ourselves You: yes Sans: platonicrelationshipgoals You: ikr Sans: ololol You: wait jess is screaming at her laptop what Sans: lol wat You: she was on the mettaton tumblr tag again Sans: HAHAH You: You know the tour trailer on youtube right Sans: ye You: SHE HAS BEEN REPLAYING IT LIKE FOR THE WHOLE DAY You: AND SHE IS SCREAMING 19 You: asjlkdfc You: I still love that child tho Sans: lol Sans: literally everyone is screaming 19 Sans: I think undyne is tagging along cus we're going to japan You: she a weeb too? Sans: YES Sans: it was funny in the underground Sans: Alphys had said that anime is actually human history Sans: and that manga is human history as well You: LOLOl Sans: they are so cute as a couple though I cant You: fish lady x dinosaur/lizard lady You: 10/10 Sans: ITS CUTE YOU'RE GOING TO SCREAM IF YOU SEE THEM OK You: probably You: what if I cant find you though Sans: just visit the hotdogstand Sans: or the mobile restaurant Sans: ill be there You: aye okok You: so ill have to look for a short skeleton, probably sleeping and wearing an ugly mettaton shirt You: all right Sans: add a blue jacket, basketball shorts and pink slippers to the list and you got the guy You: You basketball? Sans: nope Sans: I only dunk children You: what Sans: nothing You: WhAt Sans: ill tell u Sans: its gonna be a long story though Sans: so prepare You: Okok Sans: So in the underground, there were resets. The person with the most determination could reset the timeline. Resetting means going back to a certain point. It deleted all the memories of the monsters, but mine Sans: So I remember all resets Sans: One day, Frisk, who has the most determination, gets possessed by chara. Chara is a demon. Sans: Frisk, or chara killed every monster in the underground Sans: I would have to stop them. So I dunk kids when they want a bad time. Sans: they would reset to the point where they would try to beat me constantly. I remember killing them over and over again Sans: I also remember dying You: jesus You: well I understand your nightmares now You: damn You: What does dying feel like? Sans: Well you know that monsters turn to dust when they die right? You: yup Sans: Well idk. its like you're fading away Sans: And poof there you are again, in another timeline where frisk is the almighty pacifist You: So you remember getting out of the underground? Sans: We got out multiple times Sans: Frisk promised not to reset anymore though. Everyone is happy here. You: well that's good Sans: yup You: Are you all right though? Sans: nope Sans: but I'm getting better You: Is there something I can do? Sans: You're already doing it You: :D You: Jess is sleeping lol Sans: ha You: lolol she is snoring Sans: You go sleep as well now You: ok dad Sans: u can call me daddy Sans: ;)))) You: OKAY BYE SANS Sans: BYE You: Same time tmorrow Sans: OFC Sans: SLEEP WELL You: U 2 Chapter End Notes If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know! Follow me on social media! Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel Instagram: @Esmeemotional Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies ***** Ripped Fish ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes You: YO BONEBOY Sans: YO YO YO FLESHGIRL You: 18 DAYS BOI Sans: WADDUP You: aksjdf;j You: I cant Sans: Same You: I'm also very emotional rn Sans: ? You: okay so have you watched harry potter? Sans: uh You: okay yes You: so uh I always get very emotional when I watch the last movie Sans: same You: so guess what You: I watched the last movie and literally sobbed throughout the whole movie Sans: ha You: DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME You: YES Sans: OFC You: ugh I cant I'm still a sobbing mess Sans: *pats on back* You: *sniffs* Sans: wait what do you sniff You: uh well my nose and stuff You: to prevent my snot from coming out Sans: t m I You: believe me, its a common thing Sans: well ok Sans: guess who's here again :D You: lemme guess You: Mettaton Sans: Ding ding ding! You: What is he doing there now? Sans: he's hanging out with pap Sans: GUESS WHAT HE GAVE ME You: what Sans: pink Sans: fucking Sans: sweatbands You: HAHAHAHAHHA You: HA You: WAIT SKELETONS DONT SWEAT RIGHT Sans: Yes but I "Have to promote the merch darling!" You: HA You: so you're going to be a short skeleton in an ugly shirt with a sweatband and probably a cool fedora Sans: omg yes wait I'm going to ask for a fedora hold on You: HAHA You: omg yes You: HA Sans: oh my god Sans: I'm Getting ONE Sans: HAHAHA Sans: HE WANTED TO MAKE IT MERCH AS WELL HAHAHHAH You: HAHAHAHHAHAH You: HA AHA HA You: what kind of fedora tho You: I hope a pink one with glitter Sans: probabs Sans: I think there will be gay people hitting on me Sans: lol You: Ha You: not if I hit on you first though Sans: ;))))) You: ;)))) Sans: ha You: You're early though! its like 3 am here! Sans: ikr Sans: I thought like Sans: lets not eat spaghetti You: huh I like spaghetti Sans: I thought I already told you paps spaghetti isn't the best You: oh ye you told me You: welp Sans: hey Sans: you liked hp right You: yes Sans: well hagrid isn't the only giant on campus ifyouknowwhatimean ;))) You: (youknowthatyoucantlookbasilisksintheeyeright) Sans: thatsnotwhatimeant You: iknowbutimtryingtobeatyouwithmyharrypotterknowledge Sans: shitthatsclever You: ikr Sans: okay Sans: so whats the difference between my pizza and my pizza jokes You: well what is the difference between your pizza and your pizza jokes Sans: my pizza jokes cant be topped You: *applause* You: *backs away* You: I got one You: what do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery guy have in common Sans: well You: both of them smell like it but neither of them gets to eat it Sans: what Sans: oh Sans: HAHA Sans: damn You: how did the hipster burn its mouth Sans: shit what You: he ate the pizza before it was cool Sans: HA You: did I top your pizza jokes yet Sans: hmmm Sans: nope You: I guess they're just too cheesy for you Sans: did you You: sue me boneboy Sans: ok You: ey don't get saucy with me Sans: .. Sans: you sure are a weirDOUGH You: there's mushroom for approvement in your jokes Sans: sh I'm giving this olive got You: ok you're still the king of puns Sans: ayay You: what do you get when a dog jumps in the pizza You: pupperoni Sans: u can be the queen of puns now You: aye You: So what did you today apart from getting your fabulous shirts and sweatbands Sans: well Sans: nothing Sans: I literally only watched movies today lol You: nice Sans: you? You: i worked at the café again haah kill me i don't even want that job i hate socializing with people I'm socially awkward Sans: well why don't you quit then You: bc that's the only job i have rn Sans: hmm Sans: well sucks Sans: Working at a bookstore is nice You: you have worked at a bookstore? Sans: nope but undyne does Sans: she enjoys it there You: Coolio You: so shes like a bookworm? Sans: Nope. Sans: she is like a ripped fish You: ah Sans: she is in the gym 24/7 You: rip Sans: ped fish You: get into my van Sans: drive that van into my heart You: which heart You: ;)))))0 Sans: WELL MY SOUL OK You: soul what? Sans: oh yes everyone has a soul Sans: i'll show you in... 18 DAYS AYEYEYE You: YES 18 DAYS AND MY SOUL IS GOING TO BE BRUTALLY RIPPED FROM MY BODY AND DEVOURED HORRIBLY Sans: dramaqueen You: well at least you admit that I'm a queen :) Sans: .. Sans: clever Sans: Anyway, i gotta read Pap his bedtime story, he gets kinda cranky without one You: Okki :D You: Tomorrow? Sans: Sure thing :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) You: OKAY BYE THEN Sans: BYE FLEsHGIRL Chapter End Notes If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know! Follow me on social media! Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel Instagram: @Esmeemotional Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies ***** *Skeleton in the closet intensifies* ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes You: 17 DAYS YAYAYA Sans: HeyOAoOAo You: HI Sans: IM HYPER ON COFFEE Btw I DRUNK LIKE 5 CUPS IN THIS HOUR You: Why Sans: IDK You: good reason Sans: LOLOLOLLOL You: I would think ur becoming papyrus now Sans: MAYBE I AM PAPYRUS NYEH HEH HEH You: what Sans: JK You: okokk Sans: CUS IM ALPHYS Sans: WHUHAHA You: OKAY WHAT Sans: jk I'm undyne hi You: OKAY WHO ARE YOU Sans: I'm sans You: nice and I'm hungry Sans: hi hungry You: don't Sans: I'm snas You: HA Sans: rip joke. 2k16, ruined by a typo You: HAHA HI SNAS [ Sans changed their name to Snas ] Snas: *extistenal crisis intensifies* You: *insecurities intensifies* Snas: *Making distressed noises intensifies* You: *Intensifies intensifies* Snas: *making great conversation intensifies* You: *crying intensifies* Snas: *death intensifies* You: wow 1 - 100 real quick Snas: ikr Snas: guess what You: what Snas: we're doing the 'who's in my house game' again You: okok nice You: hmm Snas: METTATON!!111! You: WOW OKAY SPOILERS HI Snas: He came to explain what my job was at the tour Snas: guess what Snas: its great You: well what. You: u get to drive a van or something? Snas: better You: what could possibly be better than driving a van Snas: well Snas: I get to run a restaurant Snas: well not restaurant You: :D Snas: but its kind of like a truck with a restaurant in it?? You: seems coolio Snas: ikr You: nice You: lol jess called me and yelled "17 DAYS!" in my ear and I have just been ear raped help me You: she hung up before I could sew her Snas: welp Snas: u need a doc? You: a stripper doc Snas: 1 - 100 You: ha You: Your nickname is not aesthetically pleasing Snas: that's right Snas: that's because it's snas You: ................................ You: wake me up inside.exe has stopped Snas: lol You: that song just came on what is this I'm living the life of a meme Snas: I am the meme. You: be the meme You: WAKE ME UP Snas: WAKE ME UP You: WAKE ME UP INSIDE Snas: great song 10/10 You: Ive been living a lie You: theres nothing inside Snas: same Snas: wow guess WhAT Snas: THE DOORBELL IS RINGING YIPPIAYEE You: *coffee intensifies* Snas: I HEAR UNDYNE I GOT TO HIDE Snas: I'm in a closet now You: skeleton in the closet.. really Snas: yes. You: lol Snas: very humerus isn't it You: tibia honest, it is Snas: that's quite inskullking btw You: nah You: I think its a real rib-tickler Snas: wow ur puns are hip You: why Snas: idk Snas: undyne is calling me rip Snas: I think alphys is here as well yay You: YOU AND ALPHYS HUH :D Snas: NOPE Snas: SHE IS UNDYNES GF You: SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURE Snas: tch Snas: shall I go to the living room and sit there You: like last time where you ended up in pap's grip? sure Snas: ...... Snas: ill stay in the closet You: good plan Snas: lol You: wow wait You: is that windex in your pants? You: cus I can see myself in them Snas: HAHAHA Snas: did it hurt when you fell from heaven? ;)))) You: are you calling me satan? cus satan is a fallen angel and I'm not pleased with this pick up line. Snas: I FUCKING SNORTED Snas: I THINK UNDYNE HEARD ME FUCK You: HAHAHAHAHAHA You: HAHAH Snas: SHIT NO SHE FOUND MEJ:SLKJDF:LSJDFSE*UOKDCm. You: Hi Undyne :D Snas: WELL HELLO You: So how are you doing Snas: Oh I'm fine, I just locked a skeleton in a closet no biggie You: lol Snas: So you're coming to the tour? Snas: NICe You: YES Snas: I'll be there too YES Snas: Alphys too You: I look forward to meeting you all so much I cant ha Snas: SAme I WANT TO MEET YOU NERD Snas: also why did sans spell his name wrong what You: idk You: 0h wait he wanted to make a joke but he made a typo Snas: lol the bonehead Snas: So who are you punk? You: I'm alex Snas: cool cool Snas: whatdoyalooklike Snas: hold on I'm walking to the living room You: oh I have brown short hair and greenish eyes? Snas: Alphys is here too now yay Snas: and pap too You: Hi Al and pap :D Snas: they say hi Snas: SO DO YOU LIKE ANIME You: YES Snas: AYYAYAYESKDJFKLSJ YES You: HA WHICH ONE IS YOUR FAVORITE Snas: MEW MEW KIssY CUTIE You: WHICH ONE Snas: 1 THE SECOND ONE IS TRASH You: IKR Snas: YES You: LIKE WHY DID THEY MAKE THAT You: LITTERALLY NO ONE LIKES THE SECOND SEASON Snas: IKR Snas: Alpy and I actually cosplayed two characters for Halloween :D You: nice You: I dressed up as a hot dog last Halloween Snas: why You: I d o n t k n o w Snas: seems legit Snas: Papyrus asked if you like spaghetti You: YEs I LIke Spaghetii :D Snas: Papyrus does the nyeh heh heh You: NYEH Snas: HAHA ALPHYS WANTED TO SCROLL BACK AND WE SAW ThESE TERRIBLE PICK UP LINES AND JUST LAUGHING OUR ASSES OFF HAHAHA You: *bows* Snas: DO YOU HAVE MORE You: wow this is the first time someone has asked for a pick up line You: okay hold on You: If your left leg was thanksgiving, and your right leg Christmas, could I visit between the holidays Snas: HAHAHA Snas: ALPHYS SNORTED You: HAHAH You: HA Snas: You're so hot, even my zipper is falling for you You: HAHHAHA Snas: oKAY WHAT DID THE ONE LESBIAN SAY TO THE OTHEr You: WELL WHAT Snas: I CANT THINK STRAIGHT AROUND YOU You: HAHAHAH You: I'm laughing too hard I might wake up my apartment complex Snas: how late is it at yours then You: like 4 am or something You: Before you ask, I'm an insomniac Snas: ah Snas: okok You: Btw You: nice legs You: when do they open? Snas: HA You: Are that space pants? Snas: what if I'm not wearing pants You: well shit You: my pick up line was ruined Snas: WAIT SANS IS OUT OF THE CLOSET WHAT Snas: HAHA You: LOL WHAT HOW Snas: how did he do that I locked it what You: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmagic?? Snas: maybe Snas: well snas wants his laptop back You: Bye then You: I'll see you on tour :D Snas: dude Snas: DID YOU REALLY THINK I WAS GOING TO GIVE IT TO HIM You: HAHAHAH Snas: HA Snas: okok hes making those noises again ill go ill go You: Okki You: Bye then :D Snas: IM BACK Snas: welp i just spent time cleaning my closet You: how did you even get out of that thing Snas: magic? You: coolio Snas: I'm tired now btw You: u go sleep then You: btw You: HI TIRED You: HAHAH You: HAHAH You: u online You: did you literally fell asleep on me You: well not on me You: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN OK You: OKAY THAT SOUNDED EVEN MORE WRONG You: shit You: what even is life You: WELL SLEEP TIGHT BONEBOY DONT LET THE BEDBUGS BITE You: TOMORROW SAME TIME? You: snas; OKAY You: WOW OKAY You: BYE You: snas: omg bye Ily so much alex <3 You: AH BYE Chapter End Notes If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know! Follow me on social media! Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel Instagram: @Esmeemotional Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies ***** Protect the precious ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes You: AYEYY HELLO FRIEND Snas: HELLO THERE You: GUESS WHAT Snas: WELL WHAT You: 16 DAYS Snas: YES You: Also gguess what Snas: well what You: I got fired :D You: ugh You: Well I can live from my savings for a while I guess Snas: sucks Snas: Get a job you actually want to do this time You: ok dad Snas: please don't do that Snas: btw I had a free day today Snas: and I looked into the music you said you were into You: did you like it Snas: nope Snas: I LOVED IT DKSJF:kl Snas: LIKE TWENTY ONE PILOTS IS MY SHIT You: YES SAME WHATS YOUR FAVORITE SONG Snas: I DONT KNOW Snas: I LIKE GONER You: SAME You: so how has your day been Snas: Well kinda busy actually You: How come Snas: Well undyne and alphys are staying over to watch anime with pap and I so yay Snas: I'm actually in the living room rn I'm proud of myself You: Nice :D You: wow you're actually socializing? Snas: I'm still on my laptop though You: lol Snas: nahw papyrus is in a sleeping bag You: NAHW Snas: everyone is in a sleeping bag and my eyes You: even you? Snas: yep You: I'm just imagining a skeleton in a sleeping bag with his laptop and my soul I'm crying Snas: ha Snas: Undyne says hi You: Alex says hi to them all Snas: Papyrus says hi too Snas: Papyrus says he's looking forward to the tour and meeting you You: nice Snas: Alphys says she wants to watch anime with you when the tour is there You: WeLl I wAnT tO wAtCh AnImE w U 2 Snas: Aye Snas: They are watching some weird tentacle anime Snas: should I protect pap's eyes You: THE PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLL NEEDS TO GROW UP Snas: *plays free willy theme* You: WOW WELL IM CRYING AGAIN Snas: you cry rather fast then You: THAT WAS JUST A REALLY EMOTIONAL MOVIE OK Snas: ok You: Maybe ok can be our always Snas: ok You: ok Snas: *cries like some Japanese schoolgirl* You: lol same Snas: you need to do something to fit in You: well what if I don't want to fit in You: WHAT THEN You: ???????????// Snas: well ur cool Snas: OH SHIT WAIT IS THIS HENTAI You: SCREW THE PLAN PROTECT PAP Snas: AAA You: dhaklsjfak;lsj Snas: he'S LITTERALLY HIDING IN HIS SLEEPING BAG HAHA You: NAHWW Snas: HAH AHAHHAHA Snas: UNDYNE AND ALPHYS ARE MAKING OUT WHAT IS THIS MADNESS You: ahw and you are just chatting with some weird girl on the internet <33 Snas: ikr You: ALSO You: U FELL ASLEEP YESTERDAY Snas: OH YESH Snas: I WANTED TO APOLOGISE FOR THAT BTW You: NAH MN WE'RE COOL Snas: I'm cooler though You: shit ur right Snas: hah You: *insert cool pun* Snas: well it's ice to meet you You: *insert depression* Snas: 1 - 100 real quick Snas: ha You: SO HOW ARE YOU Snas: IM FINe I SUPPOSE You: NICE Snas: YOU? You: WELL IM JUST THE SAME SAD BEAN THE NIGHTMARES ARE GETTING WORSE Snas: well that sucks You: yup You: like You: people say like You: think about happy stuff Snas: BUT THAT DOESNT FUCKING WORK You: YES Snas: I can relate so much to you??????? You: ikr??? Snas: I Actually didn't get a nightmare :D:D:D:D:D: You: NICE WHAT WAS UR DREAM ABOUT Snas: UH wAIT Snas: I'm doing this dream diary thing Snas; oh yes Snas: I dreamed about the tour yay You: COOL You: WHAT WAS IT LIKE Snas: Well Snas: uh Snas: fun You: *applause intensifies* Snas: REALLY THOUGH I HAD FUN Snas: YOU WERE IN MY DREAM BTW You: wow what did I look like Snas: uh like yourself? You: ha but you havent even seen me what is this madness Snas: I MIGHT HAVE STALKED YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA HA You: WHAT Snas: JK JK I Don't eVEN KNOW YOUR FULL NAME You: YES OKAY You: IM ALEXANDRA PARKER BTW You: SHIT Snas: nice name Snas: I'm very font of that name Snas: (u get it because my name is a font haha) You: ha You: are you ever going to change your nickname though this is not aesthetically pleasing [ Snas changed their name to SanS ] SanS: ha You: this is also not right. SanS: no that's because its SanS [ SanS changed their name to Sansyboy69 ] You: kill me now Sansyboy69: 16 days You: nice Sansyboy69: wow the episode has ended Sansyboy69: why was there a hentai scene You: WE MUST PROTECT THE PRECIOUS Sansyboy69: IKR You: ha Sansyboy69: undyne asks what your favorite type of anime is btw You: oh definitely hentai Sansyboy69: ur joking right You: no of course not Sansyboy69 Sansyboy69: ah ok Sansyboy69: undyne is laughing You: I'm crying Sansyboy69: welp You: brb gonna hide my crippling depression real quick Sansyboy69: same same You: wow I'm tired Sansyboy69: HI IM SANS You: kms kms kms You: ....... Sansyboy69: *free willy theme plays* You: ............. Sansyboy69: "life is hard, but my penis is harder." You: YOU KNOW WHAT IM JUST GONNA GO NOW Sansyboy69: HAHAHAHHAHA You: HA You: HAHA You: BYE TOMOORROW SAME TIME Sansyboy69: YES OK You: BTW HOW DO YOU HAVE A PENIS Sansyboy69: MAGIC You: what You: I'm like pretty confused rn Sansyboy69: 16 days ;))))))))))))))) You: hhhhhMmHYh,h, Chapter End Notes If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know! Follow me on social media! Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel Instagram: @Esmeemotional Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies ***** Darling~ ;) ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes Sansyboy69: HEIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO You: *cringe* Sansyboy69: OH WHAT You: Sansyboy69 Sansyboy69: oh yes right hold on [ Sansyboy69 changed their name to Sans ] You: YES HELLO You: THIS IS WAY BETTER Sans: ikr Sans: 15 DAYS THOUGH WHAT You: also You: I was thinking about something Sans: wow wait can you think You: Yes, because I have brains instead of SOMEONE in this chat Sans: wow rude You: jk still love you <3 You: BUT WHAT I WAS THINKING You: I was like drifting asleep and suddenly I thought of something Sans: Well alex, what might that magical thing be You: AND I THOUGHT OF THAT THING AND I WAS AWAKE You: the thing was You: like you said you were going to run a restaurant, but THAT MEANS YOU CAN COOK RIGHT Sans: that was the thing You: yes Sans: lame Sans: but yes I can cook Sans: pap's helping me out tho You: spaghetti for everyone? Sans: basically yes You: Nice You: 15 days I cant Sans: IKR Sans: like what Sans: this is the 10th day we talk applause us You: wow yes You: it feels like I've known you longer though Sans: coolio Sans: Same but i'll explain later???????????????????? You: what You: HAS IT TO SOMETHING WITH MAGIC Sans: yes and no Sans: 15 days ok You: okok You: DAMMIT I WANNA KNOW Sans: Its complicated Sans: like really complicated Sans: but okay You: okay I can wait You: or not You: ANYWAY HOW WAS YOUR DAY Sans: it was nice Sans: I sold hot dogs yay You: what is another word for a cold dog Sans: ? You: a pupsicle Sans: jaskld;fjk Sans: THAT WAS FUCKING GLORIOUS HAHA Sans: also alphys and undyne might be invading my house again because they know when I chat with u and they wanna talk to you ha You: oh I don't mind tho Sans: k cool Sans: How was your day You: well I spend my day looking for a job You: havent found one yet though Sans: welp Sans: fun You: ugh I just want ice cream Sans: SAME WE ARE OUT OF ICE CREAM You: uhghghghghhghghghghhghh Sans: ha You: I want entertainment You: entertain me Sans: okok Sans: How did michelle fall off the swing You: dunno Sans: she hadn't have any arms You: .... Sans: knock knock You: who's there Sans: not michelle You: ........ You: HAHA Sans: ha Sans: wait pap wants to talk to you.. that ok? You: yeah sure Sans: NYEH HEH HEH HELLO HUMAN BEHIND THE COMPUTER Sans: IT IS I Sans: THE GREAT PAPYRUS You: Heya pap Sans: HELLO THERE HUMAN FRIEND ALEX You: hi You: so how was your day? Sans: IT WAS GREAT, THANKS FOR ASKING You: nice Sans: IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG ALEX? You: meh just had a rough day You: no biggie Sans: NYEH YOU DESERVE A HUG Sans: DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING NEARBY YOU CAN HUG You: nope You: well a pillow Sans: HUG THE PILLOW Sans: AND DRINK SOME TEA You: thanks pap :) Sans: NO PROBLEMO :D Sans: YOU WILL GET A HUG IN 15 DAYS! You: Yay :D Sans: I AM GOING TO HELP SANS WITH THE RESTAURANT You: Yeah I heard that :D Seems fun! You: I will taste your spaghetti for sure Sans: NYEH HEH YES You: I'm going to make tea brb Sans: OKAY Sans: WAIT ALEX Sans: WHAT DOES BRB MEAN Sans: ALEX???? Sans: FRIEND? Sans: I ASKED SANS AND HE LAUGHED Sans: WHAT Sans: ALEX IM WORRIED Sans: ?????????? You: PAP CALM You: BRB MEANS Be Right Back Sans: OH Sans: OH I GET WHY SANS WAS LAUGHING SO HARD WHEN I ASKED HIM THAT You: Haha You: I WANT IT TO BE 15 DAYS ALREADY Sans: ME TOO You: AAA You: ksaj;klajsj Sans: ARE YOU ALL RIGHT You: Yes ofcourse I am lol Sans: OH WELL OKAY THEN Sans: SANS FELL ASLEEP ON ME Sans: HAHA You: what Sans: OH SANS WAS WATCHING US TYPE MESSAGES TO EACH OTHER You: fun Sans: AND NoW HE IS ASLEEP Sans: THAT LAZYBONES You: Yeah.. he's such a numbskull ;)))))) Sans: NYAAAAAAAGGGHH Sans: I SEE WHAT SANS LIKES ABOUT YOU NOW You: what Sans: ? You: nah just leave it np Sans: WELL OKAY Sans: I'LL GET TO THE CHOUCH AND LAY SANS IN HIS BED Sans: BRB Sans: (be right back) You: okki Sans: HERE I AM AGAIN Sans: METTATON IS HERE AS WELL You: Oh hi mt :D You: Didn't know you were there actually Sans: OH METTATON ASKED IF HE COULD TYPE Sans: BUT OF COURSE METTATON Sans: I WILL BE READING SO DONT HESITATE TO SPEAK TO ME OKAY ALEX You: OKi Sans: Hello Darling You: Hi You: How are you :d Sans: Oh I'm fine ;) Sans: How about you? Sans: Wait I see pick up lines Sans: AND HEARTS Sans: ALEX You: SHH Sans: ARE YOU SANS' GIRLFRIEND? You: NO Sans: YES YOU ARE! You: last time I checked I wasn't Sans: hmm Sans: Well sans seems to talk a lot about you though You: oh what You: what did he say bout me? Sans: Oh only the good stuff ;) You: well then You: lol I have this friend and she would be out of her mind if she knew I was chatting with you Sans: You aren't though? Sans: Because Sans: Everyone goes out of their minds for me ;)) You: a little Sans: THATS ENOUGH FOR NOW THEN Sans: let me ask you Sans: Would you smooch a ghost? ;)) You: what You: uh You: depends Sans: GOOD ENOUGH Sans: Listen darling, Papy and I have to go. We have a dinner date planned You: oh okki You: np Sans: NYEH IM HERE AGAIN You: Can you say to sans something from me? Sans: OF COURSE You: Okay can you say You: Tomorrow same time Sans: OF COURSE Sans: I WILL WRITE IT DOWN ON A NOTE PAD AND STICK IT ON HIS LAPTOP You: Sure that's smart You: :D You: Have fun on your date :) Sans: THANK YOU You: Bye! Sans: BYE FRIEND Chapter End Notes If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know! Follow me on social media! Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel Instagram: @Esmeemotional Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies ***** Questionable Winking ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes You: GOD NEVER DO THAT AGAIN Sans: what You: YOU LEFT ME ALONE WITH METTATON Sans: OH HAHA YES I SAW You: HE WAS DOING REALLY INNAPROPERIATE WINKS You: LIKE You: YOU DO IT IRONICALLY Sans: oh do I ;) You: yes you do Sans: oh darling! *leg* ;))))) You: that was basically the convo You: really I can't Sans: btw Sans: 14 DAYS SJKDLFJ:SDKL You: blubhijklj Sans: fun Sans: TWO MORE WEEKS You: YES Sans: AAAAAAAAa You: KJS:KLFDJ:SLDJ: Sans: what is life You: dunno Sans: inappropriate winking You: ;) Sans: Anything cool happened today? You: More job hunting and Jess came over again yay You: Jess and I went to the store and got two tubs of ice cream and went to her house to watch some series You: I'm at her house now btw Sans: coolio You: anything happened at yours? Sans: Yes actually Sans: Pap, Mtt, undyne, alphys and I went to a camper store and brought 3 campers Sans: Well actually mtt brought them for us lol You: Ha nice Sans: Pap and Mt are gonna sleep in one, Al and undyne in one so I've got mine for me alone :D You: lucky Sans: I suppose so Sans: dunno Sans: I want a napbuddy too You: ha foreveralone squad unite Sans: *unites* You: lolol You: Oh btw Jess wanted to talk to you? Sans: okki pass the laptop then You: Heyo Sansyboy You: its Jess Sans: Heya Sans: also Sans: sansyboy? You: yes Sans: well I should call you skeleton girl with fleshy armor then You: whatever You: BY THE WAY You: are you two dating or not You: like You: I'm so confused Sans: nope we aren't You: well I ship Alesans You: or Sansex You: omg sansex that's great You: sansex it is Sans: pls You: HAHA ALEX IS LAUGHING AT THE SHIPNAME Sans: HAHAh You: But ARE you Together OR NOT Sans: WE ARENT Sans: WE ARE FRIENDS Sans: F R I E N D S You: HA HA HA You: YES SURE You: TELL YOURSELF THAT Sans: I am You: GOOD You: I ship you two so much tho You: like shit Sans: what if you are alex and there is no jess You: oh shit you got me You: joking I'm jess Sans: OKay then You: Wow so I had this thought Sans: oh god You: Like, when you die, your brain will work for 7 minutes after your death. So maybe we are all just reliving memories Sans: that's depressing You: ha You: well I give you alex again You: BYE Sans: BYE You: THE FLESH GIRL HAS RETURNED Sans: HELLO THERE You: by the way You: whats your favorite color Sans: dunno Sans: cyan I think? Sans: yours? You: Uh You: uhhhhhhhhhh You: Green? Sans: nice nice Sans: why did you ask though You: well You: I know very little about you actually You: like I know your friends and stuff You: okay wait I know things about you You: ha false alarm Sans: We can do like a ten questions thing? You: sure You: I'll start You: What is your best childhood memory? Sans: uh.. well that will be when Pap and I went to waterfall and we went swimming. We had a huge snowball fight after and it was fun You: nice Sans: OKAY Sans: What's your most embarrassing moment in life You: well my whole life is one big embarrassment You: but You: uh Sans: lol You: I THINK WHEN I WAS AT PROM AND I spilled punch over myself and everyone could see my underwear Sans: HAHA You: IM OVER IT IM OVER IT Sans: keep telling yourself that You: tch keep telling yourself that you don't love me Sans: I will You: Do you care about your appearance? Sans: Well I did a while back, to get accepted into society. Turns out no monster got accepted, so I didn't really care and went back to my usual attire You: deep Sans: Do you heave freckles? You: only in summer Sans: nice You: What's your favorite food? Sans: I guess a hotdog? (if ketchup is food it's ketchup) You: u can have my hot dog ;)))))))))))))))))0000 Sans: what do you call Alex when she's a dog Sans: a hot dog haha okay on with the questions Sans: Would you ever pose naked for a magazine? You: uh You: no You: Are you afraid of heights? Sans: nope You: cool cool You: then you aren't afraid of my penis Sans: since when did girls have a penis You: not Sans: ok Sans: Do you have any pets? You: I had a cat but he died a while ago Sans: cri You: Hamburgers or cheeseburgers? Sans: dunno I like em both Sans: Do you dye your hair? You: Nope. I did once in high school though. Sans: What color? You: Like snow white. It looked coolio Sans: Nice You: Favorite TV show? Sans: uh Sans: Probably Stranger things at the moment Sans: WOW THE LAST QUESTION Sans: OKAY Sans: Name one thing most people probably don't know about you You: (that's not a question try again) Sans: Can you name one thing most people probably don't know about you, and why? Sans: :) You: Well You: uh You: I sometimes talk to myself when I'm all alone? You: wow that sounds creepy Sans: lolol Sans: like you're the narrator of your own life You: deep but yes You: lolol You: JESS FELL ASLEEP ON ME AGAIN Sans: You go sleep too Sans: its 5 am at yours aklsjdk You: okay dad jeez Sans: Calm down You: ITS NOT A PHASE I CAN NOT CALM DOWN Sans: same same You: WELL BYE Sans: SAME TIME TOMORROW? You: YES Sans: OKAY BYE Chapter End Notes If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know! Follow me on social media! Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel Instagram: @Esmeemotional Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies ***** $an$master ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes Sans: Heya You: hai der Sans: guess who it is You: snas Sans: WRONG Sans: its [ Sans changed their name to $an$ ] You: wow well that's creative $an$: Ikr You: so what did you do today $an$: NOTHING $an$: I loved my day $an$: Like I just lay in my bed the whole day with my laptop You: if you keep going this way you will soon be married to that laptop You: same goes for me though You: lmao $an$: ha $an$: I started watching the walking dead and its fucking me up already $an$: Like compared to shows in the underground this is heaven $an$: Seriously the content in the underground was trash You: how come? $an$: Well $an$: Everything was MTT You: wow rough $an$: IKr $an$: AND HERE WE HAVE COOL HORROR SPOOKY MOVIES You: IKR You: I have a confession to make though $an$: are you finally gonna confess your love for me? You: yes ofcourse You: no but really You: I have never watched a mtt movie $an$: OH DARLING SHAME ON YOU $an$: METTATONS MOVIES ARE ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL DARLING You: just like me You: ;)))))))))))))))))) $an$: hon hon You: what $an$: that's how French guys laugh You: nice $an$: wow wait $an$: its 13 days $an$: 13 is an unlucky number You: wow hsit dude You: shit* You: fuck $an$: me $an$: jk jk jkj kjjkjkjkjjjkjkjk $an$: theres bound to be something happening bad though You: I hop;e not You: ugh aksldjlk $an$: I want tea You: wow so posh!!1! $an$: have you SEEN my nickname You: yes such posh $an$: Be right back mate, I am going to fetch a cup of black tea for myself You: okko You: I'm just gonna drop some pickuplines You: maybe you can help me.. I forgot the password for this account and when I hit 'password hint' it says 'Sans' number' help me out? You: Was your father a thief? because someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes You: wait sans You: u der $an$: I AM AGAIN $an$: those pick up lines are on point though You: OKAY SO You: have I already told you I'm writing a book? $an$: Don't think so $an$: Whats it about? You: Well its a phone book. You: but the only thing that is missing is your number You: ;)))) $an$: smooth $an$: like really smooth $an$: I must be a banana because I find you appealing You: a pun and a pickupline You: in one You: you beat me You: I give up You: there is no hope left $an$: ha $an$: I'm not a photographer $an$: But I can picture us together You: I HAVE ALREADY GIVEN UP DONT TORTURE ME LIKE THIS You: also good one $an$: ikr $an$: Anything good happened at yours? You: ugh nope You: my mother called me You: I hung up immediately $an$: How come? You: okay well my dad abused me because my brother died from a heart attack. My mother just ignored it so I'm still pretty pissed You: I still have nightmares about him though $an$: damn You: yeah.. You: I ran away from home when my dad was drunk and grabbing a knife You: so yea You: And I met jess on the street while being a homeless person. She took me in and we became best friends. $an$: again. Damn $an$: Jess is a good kid though $an$: Jess is love You: don't make that reference don't don't $an$: Jess is life You: well I'm going to be all ogre you tonight $an$: you made a shrek pun $an$: and pick up line $an$: you get the pick up line crown again $an$: knock knock You: whos there $an$: Shrek 4 You: Shrek 4 who $an$: I shrek 4 u You: tha twas just terrible $an$: I know You: well I'm sure I'm head ogre the heels for you You: hahah ;d;d;d;d;d;d0 $an$: *slams keyboard angrily* You: *bows* You: btw You: I find you shrexy $an$: AHHA $an$: PAPYRUS ASKED IF I WAS CHATTING WITH YOU AGAIN $an$: WHEN I MAKE Distressed NOISES HE KNOwS ITS YOU HA You: HAHA $an$: I will definitely make my donkey fall in love with your dragon ifyouknowwhatimean You: oh so we're still on the shrek lines $an$: not anymore You: wow I realized something You: wait no You: lol $an$: ok $an$: Papyrus is sitting beside me btw don't make inappropriate pick up lines You: pap u can oodle my noodle You: ifyouknowwhatimean $an$: HUMAN I DONT UNDERSTAND? $an$: I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN You: I can make spaghetti $an$: THAT IS NICE $an$: I NOW LOVE YOU $an$: PLATONICALLY You: I'm gay for you bro $an$: BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GIRL? $an$: HAS SANS BEEN MISINFORMING ME THE WHOLE TIME You: no no I'm a girl You: ha $an$: SANS IS LAUGHING I DONT UNDERSTAND You: I have a knife and a 'sword' and one of you is going inside you tonight You: ;) $an$: BUT THAT WOULD HURT ME You: JK I WOULDNT STAB YOU $an$: OKAY $an$: CAN YOU TELL ME WHY SANS IS LAUGHING SO HARD You: I guess I tickled his funnybone $an$: .................... You: Tibia honest, I'm a pretty funny gal $an$: IM GOING NOW GOODBYE You: ha You: bye You: have a sansational day $an$: NYEH You: HAHA $an$: you were playing a dangerous game there bud You: ikr You: he's too pure to understand You: I love it $an$: seriously $an$: a sword $an$: I cant You: well Its knife to meet you $an$: HA You: are you still in STABle condition $an$: I died brb You: nooo You: rip sansmaster You: wait why sansmaster You: rip snasmaster 2k16 You: i have fallen for this man You: and i cant get up You: notice me sanspai $an$: i have noticed you child $an$: sansmaster [ $an$ changed their name to Sansmaster ] Sansmaster: did it Sansmaster: ha You: nice nice Sansmaster: undyne just came over and is cooking with pap and i fear for this house You: how come? Sansmaster: She literally burned her house 4 times in the underground You: great cook Sansmaster: WAIT I SMELL BURNING PASTA Sansmaster: GTG Sansmaster: TOMORROW SAME TIME? You: YES GO CHILD Sansmaster: BYE I WILL SAVE MY HOUSE NOW You: BAIS Chapter End Notes If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know! Follow me on social media! Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel Instagram: @Esmeemotional Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies ***** Rad scout stories ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes You: HEYOO You: are you dead due the fire of yesterday You: welp rip sansmaster Sansmaster: HELLo Sansmaster: IM NOt DEAD You: NICE You: also You: i noticed this is the 13th day we talk wow Sansmaster: Wowow Sansmaster: I can feel it there's gonna happen something unlucky You: well yes Sansmaster: Anything happened at yours? You; yeah You: my mom called me again You: and i thought i would pick up for once and hear what she would want to say Sansmaster: and? You: well turns out it was my dad calling You: and telling me what screwup i am You: so yeah my day was great You: note the sarcasm Sansmaster: alex you're not a screwup ok Sansmaster: trust moi You: ugh i just feel like shit rn Sansmaster: well you can talk to me You: thanks You: i mean like why do i matter You: I'm just some random girl Sansmaster: alex stop Sansmaster: i honestly care a lot about you okay Sansmaster: and you're not some random girl to me Sansmaster: so don't think about yourself like that just because your dad says that about you You: thanks sans Sansmaster: don't mention it You: (I'm probably gonna mention this) You: anything happened at yours? You: something that's not incredibly depressing? Sansmaster: well Sansmaster: uh i had a nightmare again and I'm running on 1 hour of sleep rn with a shitload of caffeine in my system Sansmaster: and Papyrus drunk some coffee Sansmaster: he kept shouting GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE You: He swears? Sansmaster: Well only when needed You: and he needs to swear when he drinks coffee Sansmaster: COFFEE IS GOOD SHIT OK You: IKR You: let me just order a whip cream caramel iced coffee with extra healthy powder and milk and sugar and some extra chocolate You: - not me Sansmaster: yeah what is up with the weird coffees this day Sansmaster: i literally have milk and coffee that's it You: same You: well i have milk and sugar and coffee Sansmaster: only hard core people drink it without sugar You: tch You: hardcore people drink it without something in it Sansmaster: well i latte you a lot You: wow are you espressoing your feelings Sansmaster: HA I DIDNT SEE THAT ONE COMING You: what can i say? I've bean busy making up these puns Sansmaster: if i could shit, i had shitted my pants that was glorious You: "Wow alex, that pun was great" - you in a more mature universe Sansmaster: "Wow sans bby ily so much <3" - You in this universe You: "Stop quoting things" - me rn Sansmaster: okok shh child You: what did harry potter say when he robbed starbucks You: espresso patronum You: (this is ur cue to laugh) Sansmaster: what You: don't tell me you havent seen hp Sansmaster: *hides* You: oh my god what is this You: ALL THIS TIME You: I WANTED TO SLYTHERIN YOU You: BUT THEN You: THE TERROR Sansmaster: IS IT ON NETFLIX You: PROBABLY YES Sansmaster: I'll watch it tonight You: it are 8 films btw Sansmaster: idc i want to be able to understand ur jokes You: nahw Sansmaster: i have heard alphys talking about it as well You: is Alphys like the internetlord she knows so much Sansmaster: yes Sansmaster: she was the royal scientist in the underground actually You: Nice Sansmaster: Undyne was the head of the royal guard You: cooloio You: fish lady x lizard dino is still otp Sansmaster: ikr You: what was your occupation in the underground? Sansmaster: i was a sentry Sansmaster: Pap as well btw You: Coolio Sansmaster: We would go on patrol for humans Sansmaster: Pap was so dedicated i cant You: ha Sansmaster: Wanna hear a story? You: sure Sansmaster: So one day, Papyrus decides that he wants to become stronger. Sansmaster: so the guy heads over to the head of the royal guard her house and knocks. She opens and Pap asks if she could train him Sansmaster: Undyne refuses and slams the door. You: WhAt i thoughT UNDYNE Was Nice??? Sansmaster: She is hold on Sansmaster: So pap is pretty upset, but stays determined anyway and waits the whole night in front of the door without sitting down or closing an eye Sansmaster: So the next day, Undyne wants to get out of her house, and sees Pap still in front of his door Sansmaster: She finds it killer that he waited so long, so she decides to train him You: nahw Sansmaster: they eventually switched over to making pasta Sansmaster: Papyrus is too kind to be in a royal guard. He couldn't ever kill anyone. He would just become friends with them You: that's true Sansmaster: so yeah that's the story how pap got his passion for cooking You: coolio Sansmaster: any cool storys? You: uh You: yes actually You: so this happened when i was out with the girl scouts You: (yes i was a rad scout)1!11!!!! Sansmaster: ha You: So there was this mysterious box on the terrain we were staying. And me and friends wanted to see what was in it. You: We investigated and saw there was a lock, so we had to sneak into the teachers room to get the key You: we had this cool plan that two people would get in a fist fight and that i would get the teachers. two other kids would sneak in and grab the key Sansmaster: wow You: SO THAT SUCCEEDED YAY You: And we unlock the lock but the door wouldn't open so we found a crowbar and opened it You: guess hwat was in it Sansmaster: uh Sansmaster: a car Sansmaster: no wait Sansmaster: a boat? You: it was a golfcar You: that was pretty glorious You: and we wanted to ride it so we lead the teachers out of the room again and got the car keys You: WE SUCCEEDED AND CAME A BIT FAR BUT THE TEACHERS WERE FASTER AND STOPPED THE CAR You: so yeah that was my story how i practically stole a golf car Sansmaster: i guess the speed of that golf car didn't drive a wedge between you and the teachers You: HMMMMMMMMMMMM You: a golf pun You: *slow claps* You: i want to rage quit Sansmaster: also Sansmaster: 12 days ayeyeyeyeeeeeeeeyeyye You: yes Sansmaster: help me I'm slowly becoming trash You: how Sansmaster: I'm listening to panic! at the disco again You: HAHAH You: what song tho Sansmaster: Impossible year Sansmaster: I LIKE THE BAND SO MUCH You: hHAHAHHahahhH WELCOME IN MY TRASHPILE Sansmaster: hi Sansmaster: I like fall out boy and panic! at the disco Sansmaster: and muse Sansmaster; I LIKE MUSE SO MUCH THOUGH You: SAME You: quite aMUSEing if i may say so Sansmaster: that was literally the worst pun you could come up with You: that's why i made it Sansmaster: sureeeee Sansmaster: Baby: "ma ma" Sansmaster: Mother: OH MY GOD HIS FIRST WORD SAY IT Sansmaster: Baby: ma mam ama madness Sansmaster: the mother gives a distressed look You: HAHAHA You: rip You: what is life Sansmaster: idk Sansmaster: IM GOING TO WATCH HARRY POTTER NOW Sansmaster: whats the first movie htough You: HP and the philosopher stone You: its glorious You: watch it boneboy Sans: OKAY BYE SKELETON GIRL IN FLESHY ARMOR You: BYE skeleton dude Sans: BYE FLESHGIRL Chapter End Notes If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know! Follow me on social media! Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel Instagram: @Esmeemotional Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies ***** Would you rather binge movies ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes Sans: NYEH HEH HEH Sans: I WENT ON SANS' COMPUTER HELLO HUMAN You: Heyo :D You: How are you? Sans: IM FINE THANK YOU Sans: HOW ARE YOU? Sans: HAVE YOU HAD A GOOD DAY? You: I guess yes You: how bout you? Sans: OH YOU KNOW I SPENT THE DAY IMPOSING As my younger brother Sans: ha u fell for it You: what Sans: I'm boneboy hi You: ha what You: oh wait You: OOOOOHHHaHohOHOHHHH Sans: yesh Sans: So hoW WAs YOur DayY? You: IT WAS FINE You: IDK Didn't do much You: just went job hunting again Sans: and? You: nothing again Sans: Sucks You: u suck yourself Sans: AND YOU SWALLOW Sans: *puts on glasses* Sans: *explosions* You: I FUCKING SNORTED I DIDNT EXPECT THAT You: HAHAHAKDFSJ:KLF Sans: *bows* You: SO how are you Sans: meh Sans: dunno I'm kinda sick I dunno You: don't go being sick on tour Sans: ok mom You: tch You: how do skeles even get sick Sans: well Sans: wait Sans: okay Sans: uh well idk I just get sick like humans? You: well what do you do with sick chemicals You: I mean, if you can't helium or curium You: then you barium Sans: are you suggesting something You: I just might Sans: well shit i'll get the shovel Sans: I just have some kind of virus don't worry i'll just swallow some pills or something You: ugh viruses are so fucked up. Like they aren't even alive and their only purpose in life is to kill. Sans: I know Sans: they make me sick You: l........................................................... You: .................................................................... Sans: I know you love me You: well what if I don't Sans: then you could barium me You: shit You: meh too much work ily Sans: HEHEHE Sans: nice Sans: you're my vertebae now You: do you say that to all girls who you meet online Sans: only the cool ones You: :dddddd You: lets have a deep conversation Sans: k You: If you had to describe the whole human race in 3 words, what would that be Sans: ok uh Sans: Human, capableofdoingthings, tits You: *snorts* Sans: *applause* You: 'tits' Sans: HALF OF THE HUMAN POPULATION IS FEMALE????? You: shit that's true Sans: Okay would you rather be able to say 100 words or day or wear oven mitts for the rest of your life You: uh You: 100 words Sans: why You: well I don't talk much anyway, and I cant type with oven mitts You: also its hell with oven nmitts in summer Sans: true Sans: I'd do the same You: Would you rather freeze or burn to death? Sans: wowuh Sans: uh Sans: Burn? Sans: dunno You: rip in advance You: I'm actually a stalker Sans: ha Sans: well shit You: i'd choose freeze bc you'll pass out when you hit a certain point, unlike the fire Sans: well fuck Sans: okay Sans: Would you rather have sex with your cousin and no one knows, or everyone thinks you had sex with your cousin, but you didn't You: oh god uh You: uh You: I guess that everyone thinks? You: I honestly give no shit what people think about me so yay Sans: nice You: OKAY You: HAHAHA You: Would you rather be a virgin forever or have sex with your brother 2 times a year Sans: EW Sans: EW NO NOT PAP Sans: I don't wanna destroy pap's innocence, so I choose the virgin option Sans: ha You: ur such a good brother Sans: ikr Sans: welp Sans: what now You: dunno lmao You: did mtt came over with other weird shirts Sans: nope Sans: he did came over though You: what did he do Sans: oh he only came to meet his PAPY DEAR OEHHH You: OOOHH DARLLIINNGNGNGNNNNN Sans: OOH YESSSSSSSSS You: SANS SENPAI DARLING YESSSSS Sans: HAHAHA You: sanspai Sans: SANSPAI AND FLESHGIRL MAKING OUT EXPLIT DVD GET IT NOW ITS ONLY 99.99 DOLLAR You: WOW WHAT Sans: HAHA WAHT NOTHING You: OKAY WHAT You: ha Sans: 11 DAYS JSKL:DFJ:SL You: nice change of subject Sans: ikr I'm so smooth You: where can I meet you though You: at the festival I mean Sans: i'll probably be in the cafeteria Sans: at the show you will come there will be a cafeteria yay You: nice Sans: I bet Pap will be making spaghetti Sans: he doesn't know anything else than pasta recipes You: lolol Sans: And undyne's going to be one of the security guards Sans: Basically, a lot of people who were in the royal guard, are gonna be security guards for mtt and the tour You: nice nice Sans: OH BY THE WAY Sans: I began watching harry potter Sans: I have had no sleep and I was watching the half-blood prince until I saw It was 7 o'clock so yay You: dude You: you have watched that many movies in one sitting Sans: yes You: jesus how do you do that Sans: well Sans: coffee? Sans: idk I should sleep lmao You: YES YOU SHOULD You: I MEAN LIKE You: WHAT Sans: same same Sans: i'll go sleep Sans: only 11 days before I'll slytherin you You: that was the worst joke I've ever heard sleep affects your jokes Sans: I guess Sans: I'll sleep You: ok ok ok Sans: yas You: OKAY BYE AND SLEEP WELL BONEBOY Sans: BYE FLESHGIRL You: Tomorrow same time? Sans: do you really have to ask? Chapter End Notes If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know! Follow me on social media! Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel Instagram: @Esmeemotional Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies ***** How to Random facts 101 ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes You: HEY BABE Sans: HeIHAHIY Sans: HOW R U You: FINE I ATE ICE CREAM You: HOW ARE YOU Sans: well fun that you asked Sans: I'm like having a mental breakdown rn don't mind me here You: how come? Sans: I Sans: finished Sans: harry potter You: I FEEL YOU Sans: LIKE IM LITTERALLY CRYING AS I TYPE THIS Sans: IM EMPTY INSIDE You: well you are a skeleton... Sans: THIS IS NOT HELPING You: Okay imma give you my breakdown 101 You: first: drink some tea Sans: Okay i'll grab some hol on You: second, wrap yourself in a thick blanket You: third, cry Sans: IM BACK Sans: well I'm going to wrap myself in a blanket Sans: and cry Sans: ha You: I feel you Sans: I feel me too Sans: SERIOUSLY IT WAS SO GOOD You: IKR You: I'm always getting so emotional over hp like shit Sans: same You: wait You: do you ship Draco x Harry Sans: I guess? Sans: idk You: its a beautiful ship Sans: well now that I think about it Sans: it is Sans: fuck You: ikr You: ha You: anyway, did you do anything else then watching movies today? Sans: well Sans: I started packing stuff You: wow wait you are productive? Sans: IKR?? Sans: I only packed the Christmas stuff tho You: what Sans: like Sans: when it's Christmas, I can make my camper all christmasy You: nice Sans: with like a shit ton of lights You: a skeleton You: a mettaton Sans: kms Sans: ha You: how to suffer 101 Sans: what did you do all day Sans: hmmmmmmmmmmmm???????????? You: guess hwat Sans: job hunting?? You: nope You: I gave up You: for now then Sans: you could do a webshop? Sans: idk Sans: YES WAIT Sans: START A YOUTUBECHANNEL You: hmmmmmmmmm You: idk Sans: Well it's your choice You: idk I would only do youtube for the sake of money and not for the sake of enjoying it then You: hm You: meh You: i'll think about it Sans: yas You: no but idk I didn't do much I just lay on the ground the whole day Sans: wow seems like you had a fun day You: ikr You: I also decided to browse dark questions haha kill me Sans: ask me some dark questions You: oko ok ok You: What if how you are now feeling, you will feel the rest of your life? Sans: well fuck Sans: I'm honestly in the middle of a mental breakdown so yay You: when I read that I was bored and crying so ha You: OKAY DEPRESSING QUESTION #2 You: btw I'm fighting ur mental breakdown You: fight fire with fire right You: When did you stop trying? Sans: well Sans: ... You: you don't have to answer though Sans: nah I'm fine Sans: Well I told you about the resets right You: yeah like a couple of days back Sans: Well Sans: what would you do when you are living just a plain and happy life? Sans: and then suddenly, you are back a few weeks in time Sans: first you are confused Sans: Then you come at that point again, All the monsters are freed Sans: zap. Back in time again Sans: that circle goes on and on Sans: You give up trying at some point. Sans: nothing makes any difference anyway You: wow You: Jesus You: you went trough all that? Sans: yup Sans: frisk was the one who reset. Sans: but they promised me not to reset anymore Sans: so yes You: Nice You: Damn You: I honestly could not imagine how it is to be in that circle Sans: The worst part, No one remembers the resets but me and frisk Sans: so yeah that's fun lets talk about something else You: yeah ok Sans: ha I'm crying again You: IM SORRY You: ILL TELL YOU SOME A+ PICK UP LINES HOLD ON You: you have beautiful eyes Sans: (I don't have eyes but thanks) You: well fuck uh You: EYE SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE Sans: HA You: If I could change the alphabet then I'd put U and I together Sans: honestly what did you search on google to tell thes epick up lines You: I literally typed 'the saddest pick up lines' You: did it work though Sans: yes Sans: I'm so seduced rn you wouldn't believe it You: is ur dad a baker You: because you got some nice buns You: wait you're a skeleton You: I'm trying too hard Sans: yes you are You: how to seduce a skeleton 101 Sans: idk Sans: ha Sans: I'm gonna get more tea You: ok You: did you know that giraffes don't have vocal communication but they communicate with their tail You: I'm dropping some more animal facts hold on You: Apes go bald as men do You: Wombats have cube shaped poop You: Horses can't vomit You: A mole can dig 300 miles in one night Sans: IM BACK Sans: and I have animal facts now aye You: ikr You: did you know that the human skeleton has 206 bones but some grew together and you originally had 300 at birth Sans: I didn't actually Sans: thanks for this interesting fact You: OH BTW Sans: ???????? You: YOU RUINED OUR ALWAYS YESTERDAY Sans: HAHA Sans: you mean like the same tim ething? You: YES You: LIKE You: CAN OUR ALWAYS BE SAME TIME?? You: OR SOMETHIGN IDK Sans: OK Sans: shit I broke our always Sans: I was just trying to be cool You: we all make mistakes Sans: HAHAH You: did you btw know if a rib is removed it can grow back in 3 months Sans: WHY ARE YOU SENDING ME FACTS You: BECAUSE THATS FUN You: AND I WANTED TO CHEER YOU UP Sans: THANKS :D You: So how are the others doing? Sans: Oh they're fine Sans: I've got the house for me alone today Sans: Pap's staying over with undyne and al You: UGH I WANT TO MEET YOU AND THEM SO BAD LIKE JSDK:FLJ: You: 10 DAYS You: TOMORROW 9 You: ITS COMING SO CLOSE I CANT Sans: SAME Sans: SLKDJF You: HA You: RIP I LAMOST FELL ASLEEP WHAT IS THIS Sans: well yes browsing animal facts and pick up lines tires you out quite a bit You: ikr You: like You: what You: btw are you still sick Sans: I'm only sick as in cool Sans: nah I'm okay now Sans: idk it was like a 1 day thing You: SHIT I JUST REALISED You: I MISSED A GREAT OPPOTUNITY FOR A PUN YESTERDAY Sans: WHERE You: well you caught a femur yesterday You: HA IM SO FUNNY Sans: HA You: did you btw know that half of your bones is in your hands and feet You: and that your face has 14 bones in it You: I'm honestly just picking these facts out of google ha You: its literally an image in comic sans Sans: wow Sans: ANYWAY Sans: GO SLEEP Sans: ITS LIIKE Sans: 6 PM HERE Sans: ITS LATE FOR YOU Sans: SLEEP CHILD You: OKOK Sans: WELL Sans: Tomorrow same time? Sans: (see how I did that) You: DO YOU REALLY AHVE TO ASK HAHA You: HA I DID IT HA You: HAHA You: HA You: WAIT I MADE A TYPO FUCK Sans: HA Sans: ANYWAY You: YES ILL GO SLEEP BYE CHILD Chapter End Notes If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know! Follow me on social media! Twitter: @Esmeemotioneel Instagram: @Esmeemotional Wattpad: @TheShippingFairies ***** Alex, the pile of embarrassment ***** You: HEYOO Sans: HEY FLESHGIRL You: are you going to keep calling me that Sans: probably, yes You: okok You: i'll think of a disturbing nickname for you too then Sans: okay Sans: So how are ya? You: Oh I'm good :D You: I went out with Jess and a couple of others You: idk most of their names though. I'm not that social Sans: I can relate Sans: it's always like you have 1 or 2 good friends and the rest are people you socialize with You: yup You: so how are you? Sans: oh good Sans: and tired You: how come? Sans: well Sans: I packed a lot of stuff today Sans: we're actually leaving tomorrow You: u serious? Sans: Yup Sans: We'll drive a heck of a lot tomorrow and stop to give a show Sans: then 1 day packing and then driving and then show Sans: its basically 3 days moving and show giving each town You: Welp You: Wait do you have wifi there Sans: YES Sans: the camper has wifi You: YES Sans: IKR Sans: IM SO EXCITED You: SAME You: 9 DAYS JKSLFJ:LSKJD Sans: literally my whole room but the laptop and bed aren't packed lol Sans: I'm sleeping in a sleeping bag rn ha You: ha You: how big is that camper even Sans: well it's a two persons Sans: and I'm with 1 so yay You: Cool Sans: the camper is pretty fucking luxe too Sans: like its so big and white and black and I cant Sans: IM EXCITED FOR CHRISTMAS You: HAH You: You have to do like Christmas lights on the ceiling Sans: YEs Sans: JSKLDFJ: Sans: lol I'm going to live in a camper for 5 months Sans: I hope the bed is comfortable though You: m sure it will Sans: kla;jsdkl Sans: 9 days I cant You: sama same Sans: best part about the camper: I didn't have to pay it You: ha Sans: Mettaton has like a shit ton of money You: IM SO EXCITED FOR THE 9 DAYS I CANT JSDKSFKLD Sans: SHIT WAIT I HEARD A CRASH COMING FROM THE LIVIN ROOM BRB You: well there goes your tv You: or vase You: or something that can crash Sans: IT'S ALL RIGHT Sans: PAP JUST DROPPED SOMETHING You: don't you have to help him Sans: Nah he said it was all right I talked to you for a bit You: ahw You: Seriously, doesn't he need help Sans: He insisted Sans: so yay Sans: tell me an embarrassing child hood story You: okay You: uh You: I have one You: Okay so one time at school, I was sleeping (how surprising) and my teacher began to scream at me. I woke up scared and threw a notebook in her face. Sans: *claps* You: yes You: Alex the notebook throwing gal Sans: Alex the fleshgirl Sans: any other stories? You: well since that I'm a pile of embarrassment, I have one You: Okay so I was at a party with a friend and we decided to go upstairs and have a burping contest. Luckily, my crush from then was in the room and heard everything Sans: ha You: well he asked me out after so I'm goo Sans: HAHA You: haha kill me Sans: nah Sans: Hold on pap is calling me You: ok ok You: ha Sans: guess what he asked You: well what did he ask Sans: what kind of pasta I wanted to eat Sans: I could choose a) Spaghetti Sans: or b) Spaghetti You: I'd go with c Sans: He wants to improve his spaghetti cooking skill because he has to cook in the restaurant You: Coolio Sans: ikr You: So do you have any stories from the underground? Sans: uh Sans: A few You: okay show me human bone system Sans: human bone system Sans: ... You: other word for skele You: ha Sans: ha Sans: SO Sans: I was at grillby's one time Sans: grillbys is like a bar where I came often in the undergroun Sans: And I sat on one of my own woopie cusions and everyone laughed You: poor you Sans: ikr Sans: never guessed pranking myself would become a thing You: Same You: I prank myself trough embarrassing actions :DDDD Sans: hAHAHAhaa:DD:D:D:D: Sans: We're kinda early today aint we? You: yeah its like 2 am here Sans: Its 5 pm here You: how come we're so early though Sans: idk I just had time?? Sans: I figured you'd be online You: yeah I don't do much You: ha You: what is life Sans: wait hold on You: okki You: want to know animal facts? Sans: tomorrow Sans: Pap called me for dinner You: Oh Okay You: we'll talk tomorrow then? Sans: Definitely You: (you were supposed to say 'do you really have to ask') You: (did you forget the always) Sans: (I did) You: well shit Sans: BYE FLESHGIRL You: BYE HUMAN BONE SYSTEM ***** Making offensive jokes on the road ***** Sans: Heya Sans: sorry I'm a bit late.. We're still on the road You: HEY Sans: HEY FLESHGIRL You: wait what you are on the road Sans: well we stopped driving for a bit and we just stopped by a gas station You: Nice You: Everything going well? Sans: Yup Sans: I've been driving for like 3 hours straight so yeah :D You: wowow Sans: I packed the last stuff today and threw it in the camper Sans: just in time of course because we were meant to go when I packed the last stuff ha You: HA You: nice Sans: I think I'm gonna get some coffee at the gas station hold on You: okki You: DONT GET YOUR LAPTOP STOLEN Sans: ok mom You: :D Sans: oh undyne is here to protect the laptop You: Go get ur coffee Sans: okok Sans: SUP PUNK You: HEYA Sans: STILL CHATTING TO THIS SACK OF BONES You: you bet I am Sans: HOW MANY DAYS BEFORE MEETING YOU You: Uh You: 8 DAYS You: ksladjkkkkkkk Sans: NICE Sans: I'm gonna be a security guard there You: coolio Sans: ikr Sans: Ha You: So you are gonna live in a camper as well for 5 months? Sans: YOU BET I AM Sans: its like owning a really small house Sans: with a cute otaku You: nHAWH You: NAHWHHWHWWWWW Sans: :33333333333333 You: UGH I CANT WAIT You: IM SO EXCITED Sans: SAME Sans: Tomorrow will be the first show You: How far do you have to ride for that? Sans: like 3 more hours Sans: We'll manage Sans: I wonder if Sans will though Sans: I mean Alphys and I can just switch after 1 hour but he has to do it all on his own You: well I hope he doesn't die Sans: same same Sans: BTW Sans: Alphys and I were talking about you You: how come lol Sans: idk someone just brought it up Sans: AND WE WERE WONDERING Sans: WHAT KIND OF ANIME DO YOU LIKE You: oh god You: like You: Adventure and action You: Also romance and drama Sans: CoOoL You: Oh and horror You: basically everything really Sans: Nice Sans: come watch it with us sometime You: Okki You: how many days are you gonna be at my place though Sans: like 3 Sans: We come the first day, set everything up the second day and give a show, leave the third day Sans: kinda busy You: wow You: That's pretty busy Sans: Ikr Sans: idk how we will manage but ok You: I HOPE YOU SURVIVE Sans: SAME Sans: ALSO Sans: HAVE YOU WATCHED NARUTO You: Like ages ago Sans: ITS AWESOME Sans: Alphys and I are trying to do Jutsu's You: good luck with that You: I tried it with my brother once and he broke his finger Sans: what how You: well one jutsu was so complicated that he broke his finger in the middle of it You: I laughed at first Sans: HA You: Ikr You: Don't you need coffee? Sans: ew no I don't like coffee Sans: its so bitter You: Try throwing sugar and milk in it Sans: what why You: well You: because that makes it sweeter and less bitter Sans: oh Sans: oh Sans: OKAY I'LL TRY You: nice You: I literally cant function without coffee You: lol Sans: maybe that's because its like 7 am at yours Sans: wait have you gotten any sleep today You: nope You: But I can manage Sans: oh well Sans: do what you like I suppose You: ok You: How are the others? Sans: Oh they're doing fine Sans: everyone is excited for the tour You: understandable Sans: Oh your boneboy is back You: nicu Sans: WELL SEE YOU ON TOUR PUNK You: OKAY You: BYE FISH LADY Sans: BYE Sans: HERE I AM AGAIN You: YAS You: I convinced undyne to drink coffee Sans: pal Sans: dude Sans: A-Slice Sans: have you got any idea how energetic undyne normally is You: no Sans: Well obviously not Sans: AH Sans: HA Sans: I wonder what she's like on coffee You: same You: ha You: what is life it's already light outside Sans: wow Sans: It's 7 pm here help Sans: I'm hungry though You: HI HUNGRY IM ALEX You: (ha) Sans: making dad jokes You: yes You: what are you gonna do about it You: I'm a rebel now Sans: sure you are You: I'm gonna join a gang Sans: wow you sure are badass You: ikr You: I'm like the baddest of asses Sans: yes you are Sans: hmmmmmm Sans: I wanna sleep Sans: ugh You: rip Sans: I STILL HAVE 3 MORE HOURS TO RIDE KILL ME NOW You: Nahw You: I hope u don't die Sans: same Sans: ugh Sans: I JUST WANT FOOD AND SLEEP You: don't sleep and drive You: ha You: hey sansy Sans: yes alexy You: wanna hear a joke about paper Sans: well Sans: yes You: nvm it's tearable Sans: ......... You: what do you call a girl without legs Sans: I DONT KNOW what do you call a girl without legs You: disabled Sans: HAHAHAH Sans: the timing was perfect You: haAHA Sans: why cant orphans play baseball You: hmM? Sans: they don't know where the home is You: HAHAH You: HA You: HAHA You: HAAHHHHAH You: That's so offensive!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!!!!!!!111 Sans: ikr Sans: that's why its funny You: true You: ha You: I'm gonna grab some more coffee hold on Sans: shouldn't you just go to bed Sans: its like 7:30 am there Sans: GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP CHILD You: okay okay You: survive ok Sans: yes yes You: aye You: I can now sleep in peace Sans: nice Sans: WELL Sans: good night <33333 You: You too <3 You: for when you finally get to sleep You: GET A CAMPERMATE M8 Sans: SLEEP WELL You: Tomorrow whatever time? Sans: DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO ASK? ***** The wrath of Jess, Fleshboy and Boybone ***** Sans: HEYA You: HEiIIiIiIii You: how is my favorite boneboy doing Sans: Oh I'm exhausted Sans: work is draining Sans: like coffee is my best friend rn You: How did the show go? Sans: idk I was in the cafeteria with paps You: oh well Sans: we basically made spaghetti for 200 men this night You: wow You: well I understand why you're tired Sans: BUT Sans: JUST A WEEK Sans: 7 DAYS YES You: YES You: IM SO EXCITED You: SAKJS:LD Sans: AAaaA You: YES Sans: btw Sans: how is job hunting going? You: still nothing You: Ugh Sans: sucks You: I mean like You: I can do stuff I want money Sans: 10/10 would hire You: idk I want to work in a bookshop or something Sans: how come? You: Dunno? I like bookshops :D You: and reading that is Sans: nice Sans: I don't really read much Sans: idk what to read You: (THERE ARE HARRY POTTER BOOKS) Sans: IKR Sans: I should read them You: heck yes you should Sans: BRING ME SOME BOOKS You: THAT IDEA IS NOT TOO BAD ACTUALLLY I WILL Sans: yay I'm gonna read at tour yayay You: are you now abandoning your laptop Sans: probs You: ;-; Sans: haah Sans: Wow did you know btw Sans: last night when I was on my laptop Sans: I lost ctrl You: ... You: that was really You: clever Sans: HA You: What does a computer do when it restarts? Sans: well what does a computer do when it restarts alex? You: It takes a power nap Sans: You are getting an applause Sans: *applause* Sans: *cheering* You: *majestically bows* You: what do you call it when a computer sings Sans: a demon You: A dell Sans: MMDMDMMFHJJMHMHMMMM Sans: I'm so proud Sans: were you always like this You: like what Sans: yknow Sans: pun making You: I think so You: ha You: I clearly didn't have many friends Sans: *snorts* You: well it is true Sans: cue the sad violin You: ;-; Sans: I'm now chilling in my cool camper You: how is sleeping in the camper Sans: oh you know Sans: camperish You: cool cool Sans: no but really this bed is life Sans: like how can a bed be so soft You: idk You: what if it's made out of human flesh You: what if that's why it's so soft Sans: well fml Sans: nah it's not out of flesh Sans: its like feather like Sans: I'm now contemplating how many money mtt has Sans: heck of a lot I suppose You: well yes no shit he's famous You: I think Jess knows it Sans: how does she know that You: she's in the fandom You: I'll call her hold on Sans: okok You: She's in my room now You: Jess says hi Sans: heya Sans: SO I HAD A QUESTION Sans: HOW MANY MONEY DOES MTT MAKE IN LIKE A MONTH You: IM JESS BTW You: WAIT ARE YOU FAN OF MTT AS WELL You: I HAVE THE ANSWER TO THAT QUeSTION BTW You: HE MAKES ABOUT 1.6 MILLION A MONTH Sans: jesus Sans: klsj You: Same You: WE ARE GOING TO SEE MTT IN 7 DAYS IM SO EXCITED Sans: Yes yes Sans: I'll be there too btw You: IKR You: Alex has been talking about it 25/7 Sans: HA Sans: what'd she say bout it? You: oh like You: IM SO EXCITED *screech* Sans: HA You: She talked quite a lot about you too ;))))) Sans: What'd she say bout me? You: (Alex left the room btw) You: Oh only how she loves talking to you and shit Sans: :33333333 You: Ha You: So you two are gonna meet? Sans: Yup You: And you aren't a 56 year old stalker man? Sans: nope You: then you're good in my book Sans: nice Sans: She's meeting my friends too btw Sans: We are kind of helping with the tour yay You: Oh that's why she was talking about a camper Sans: lmao You: WAIT You: SO You: YOU ARE A GOOD FRIEND OF MTT? Sans: well Sans: uh Sans: my brother and him are in a relationship? You: WAIT WHAT You: WHAT WHAT WHAT HWATHWHWHAHTHW You: WAIT Sans: calm child You: MHDMHH ***** More life stories and taco ***** Chapter Summary someone named their cat after taco and im Sans: psst Sans: you awake? Sans: a-alex-senpai Sans: notice me You: you have been noticed kohai Sans: HEY Sans: fucking hell how long do you even sleep it's 12 am here You: well I just went to sleep but awakened from a nightmare yay You: ew it's 8 am here its so early Sans: lol Sans: so how was your day? You: meh You: kinda boring You: I just slept and got groceries Sans: amazing Sans: its day 3 of the tour and I'm already exhausted why am I doing this You: will you survive for 5 months Sans: Probably not You: how the fuck are you gonna manage if you're exhausted on ur 3rd day Sans: well Sans: not You: rip You: in advance that is You: I'm not allowing you to die before we meet Sans: tch You: :D Sans: ENTERTAIN ME You: OKAY OKAY You: WADDAYA WANNA HEAR Sans: uh Sans: IDK Sans: TELL ME A LIFE STORY AGAIN You: OKAY OKAY You: hmm You: OKAY YES You: I HAVE AN IDEA You: YES I HAVE A STORY Sans: Okay tell me fleshgirl Sans: please <3 You: okok You: This is about when I first applied to a job Sans: nice You: Okay so I was just there as a 15 year old child. I was invited to come to talk to an interviewee You: And they said things trough the speaker like "Miss (name) can you come to the office?" Sans: okay okay You: and she comes storming up the stairs and swears like a lot. and says stuff like "got fucking damnit this is the 3rd fucking office I am seeing what is it?" You: And she sees me You: And I laugh You: like way, way too hard Sans: HAHA You: And she says "Come to my office please" Sans: HAHAHAHA You: and basically, I got the job Sans: lOOLoLol Sans: that's glorious Sans: tell that story to your future children You: I will You: I'm still so proud I got that job though You: I was a restocker at the supermarket Sans: nicuuu You: yup You: So how was the ride? Sans: ugh Sans: it was ok I suppose Sans: I only nearly died because I nearly fell asleep but ok You: you aint gonna die before we meet boneboy Sans: yes yes Sans: I feel like coffee is keeping me alive rn You: lol Sans: THIS IS THE LAST CITY BEFORE I MEET YOU THOUGH Sans: MHDMSKDJF You: AAAAAAAAAAA You: kalsjdkl; You: where will you be though Sans: Probs in the cafeteria Sans: When are y acoming to visit us though You: probably in the break of the show Sans: well I think I will be making a shitton of pasta then Sans: so yay in the cafeteria You: coolio You: How are the others doing?' Sans: oh like good Sans: and not tired Sans: BECAUSE THEY ALL HAVE A FUCKING SIGNIFICANT OTHER Sans: #foreveralone You: I feel your pain dood Sans: *cries* Sans: so yeah they can switch driving often Sans: I can only switch with death and coffee Sans: so I choose not to switch You: rip You: aren't there others to help you out though Sans: nope Sans: there is only mtt, paps, alphys and undyne Sans: so nope You: aren't there others? Sans: well there is napstablook, but he's a ghost Sans: which means he cant drive You: well fuck Sans: that yes Sans: ENTERTAINN ME You: ok ok ok You: so I was in school You: and I swear I heard the fucking tardis You: from doctor who Sans: ah yes You: so I asked if I could go to the bathroom, and followed the sound You: which came from 2 classrooms next to mine You: SO I OOPENED THE DOOR You: AND THEY WERE WATCHIGN DOCTOR WHO You: and then one guy said You: "See miss? We shouldn't have put it that loud. We summoned a nerd." You: and I laughed and we became friends ha Sans: HAHA You: so yay that was another story out alex' life Sans: TELL ME ANOTHER STORY Sans: I'm so entertained rn Sans: the others will probably have sex rn You: okok You: hmm You: OH YES You: okay so I was in a café and I needed to fart You: and music was playing pretty loudly, so I waited for the beat to drop and then fart You: the thing is You: I was listening music from my phone Sans: *dies* You: ha You: fucking shame Sans: hahahsjkajd; You: TLEL ME A STORY BOUT YOURS You: or a random lifestory You: heheheakjds;l Sans: okay okay Sans: so I was at grillbys, a restaurant in the underground. I was known for quite the prankster, and I needed to keep that title. Sans: so one day, I took Pap with me to grillbys and ordered him a burger. Sans: AND I ASKED DO YOU WANT KETCHUP WITH IT Sans: he said something like "YES PLEASE PASS ME THE KEtCHUP" so I did Sans: and guess what Sans: the lid fell off Sans: causing pap's burger to be drained in ketchup You: HA You: poor pap You: wo wfun fact You: 7 billion people experienced this day differently Sans: wow Sans: deep Sans: TELL ME YOUR STORIES Sans: this is now the day of stories You: I got one You: so I was waiting on the bus in a busstop and I was eating ice cream You: AND SUDDENLY You: SUDDENLY A FUCKING COUPLE BEGINS MAKING OUT AN DMOANING REALLY LOUDLY You: so I get this bright idea You: I eat the ice cream and moan as hard as they did Sans: HAHAHA You: they stopped. Sans: FUCKING SAVAGE HAAH Sans: I cant You: TELL ME A STORY NOW BONEBRO You: ur bonebro Sans: okok Sans: Oh wait well I have a story that happened like 2 days ago Sans: so there was this cat Sans: like a white cat Sans: and they didn't have any nametag Sans: and seemed to be injured Sans: so Sans: uh Sans: I kinda took it with me on tour You: what You: you have a cat Sans: yes? Sans: I asked pap to heal him You: wowoowo You: wow You: boneboy You: you have a cat You: I cant You: aaa You: whats the name Sans: well Sans: I named him Taco You: how come? Sans: well Sans: I was eating a taco You: you are great Sans: I know I know Sans: so yeah Taco and Sans You: NAHW YOU FOUND A SIGNIFICANT OTHER Sans: ew no You: SANCO You: OR TANS You: jkjkjkj Sans: nah but the cat is sweet You: why didn't you tell me you had a cat Sans: well idk Sans: I forgot? You: lmao Sans: well you better go sleep now You: you too You: with taco You: sansco You: I love it Sans: WELL SLEEP WELL FLESHGIRL You: YOU TOO BONEBOY Sans: TOMORROW? You: DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO FUCKING ASK? ***** Kinky: The legendary pata ***** You: HEY BONEBOY You: How was the show? Sans: HEY FLESHGIRL <33 Sans: meh all right I suppose Sans: Undyne helped pap and me out cooking spaghetti You: Nice You: 5 days left I cant Sans: SAME You: Jess is constantly screaming 5 days lololol Sans: same Sans: aren't we all You: true true You: So You: Anything coolio happened today? Sans: Actually yesh Sans: So we always set up the day before after driving to the new terrain, so that we don't really have to do anything besides our job in the evening Sans: So we have like the morning and afternoon for ourselves You: Coolio You: What did ya do? Sans: Well Me, Al, Undyne and Pap went to the movies Sans: Question: Sans: how can a human devour two large popcorns Sans: before the film even starts You: O_O You: idk You: that isn't really normal You: for most people that is Sans: oh well Sans: after the movies, we went to an Italian restaurant Sans: of course, Pap freaked out because there was so many pastas on the menu You: HAHA You: which one did he get though Sans: uh Sans: he got tortellini You: Nice You: that's one of my fav pastas btw Sans: Nice Sans: though, for him, eating the whole plate wasn't pastable You: ......................... Sans: You sure get mad fusilli reasons You: isweartogodsansimgonnapunchyouin5daysforthat Sans: kinky You: very Sans: I feel the regretti sliding up my neck Sans: OH BTW Sans: I THOUGHT OF SOMETHING WHILE EATING PASTA You: OKAY TELL ME Sans: so I was thinking about that time you broke someones nose You: kinky Sans: Okay and so I thought of something Sans: FLESH AND BONES MAY BREAK A NOSE You: THAt Ss GEnIuS You: HaHAhAha You: HAhHAhKDJFSLKDJf; You: brb sobbing Sans: it wasn't that good Sans: though, it was creative Sans: STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES Sans: wait don't actually throw sticks and stones at me You: okok You: flesh and bones may break your nose You: that's genius You: bksjldkf;aj Sans: c'mon it wasn't that genius Sans: I only cried a little when I came up with it You: HAHA You: I'm just imagining you in a pasta restaurant, crying in front of your friends btw Sans: well basically Sans: Undyne noticed and she asked me what was wrong Sans: I said Sans: "This pasta is really good." You: lmao You: u were sobbing over 'pasta' Sans: yes. You: what kinda pasta did you get though Sans: Spaghetti. You: but don't you get spaghetti everyday? Sans: I took it and said that this wasn't as half as good as Pap's spaghetti to cheer him up You: NAHW You: *dies* You: seriously you're the best brother ever You: I cant rn You: I'm dying brbrb Sans: it wasn't that big of a deal shh You: IT IS You: YOU DID THAT TO CHEER HIM UP You: EVEN THOGUH YOU COULD HAVE TAKEN A DIFFERENT PASTA Sans: true Sans: Pap has been saying to me that you should taste his noodles like over and over and over You: HAHAH You: OH GOD THAT SOUNDED SO WRONG Sans: what? Sans: oh Sans: OOOOHH You: HAHAHH You: "babe you oodle my noodle~" Sans: kinky You: kinky spaghetti sex Sans: 1 - 100 real quick You: THOUGH YOU GOTTA ADMIT You: IT WAS FUNNY OK Sans: the sudden realization that he says that like 4 times a day Sans: I'm just slowly dying rn You: YOU AINT WE STILL GOTTA MEET You: btw, as you're talking to me, you are seconds closer to death already Sans: well fuck You: ha You: welp You: say to pap that I will oodle his noodle Sans: ok You: JK JK JK JK Sans: guess who's knocking on the door You: idk You: pap? Sans: idk I havent opened it yet Sans: oh wait I hear pap shouting Imma open it hold on You: okok Sans: He's beside me Sans: paps says hi You: alex says hi as well Sans: ALL RIGHT HELLO HUMAN ALEX Sans: SANS SAID THAT I COULD TAKE THE LAPTOP FOR A SECOND Sans: HE IS DRINKING COFFEE AGAIN You: he is probs just tired You: HI PapS Sans: HI Sans: HOW HAS YOUR DAY BEEN You: oh it was fine You: I just watched some movies with my friend Jess Sans: WILL I MEET JESS AS WELL You: Dunno You: Think so? Sans: YES! Sans: I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO 5 DAYS You: same Sans: SANS IS SITTING BESIDE ME AGAIN You: hi boneboy Sans: WHY ARE YOU CALLING HIM BONEBOY Sans: ISNT NICKNAMING PEOPLE WHAT ONLY LOVERS DO Sans: WAIT YOU HAVE NICKNAMED ME PAPS Sans: AND SANS IS CALLING ME PAPS AS WELL Sans: EVERYONE IS CALLING ME PAPS Sans: BUT IM IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH METTATON You: PAP CALM DOWN You: Okay imma explain you something real quick You: There are nicknames for friends and lovers k? You: Paps is a friend nickname You: whatever you call MTT or what he calls you is a lovers nickname ok? Sans: OH Sans: OKAY I UNDERSTAND Sans: WAIT I WAS SCROLLING THROUGH THE MESSAGES YOU AND SANS SENT EACH OTHER AND WHY ARE YOU MAKING PASTA PUNS Sans: ALSO Sans: WHAT DOES KINKY MEAN You: ............... Sans: ALEX WHY IS SANS BLUSHING You: WELL You: KINKY IS TOO, A PASTA PUN Sans: WHAT Sans: BUT I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THIS PASTA Sans: I AS A PASTA EXPERT, MUST NOW RESEARCH THIS ON THE INTERNET You: NO You: DONT You: I CAN TELL YOU WHAT KIND OF PASTA IT IS You: Because it's an very old pasta, and only a few know about it You: The internet doesn't know it. You: It's a legendary pasta. Sans: WOWIE Sans: SANS IS STILL BLUSHING WHY IS THAT You: He's just embarrassed by the fact that he hasn't shared his great kinky knowledge with you Sans: OKAY THEN Sans: THANKS FOR TELLING ME Sans: I JUST CAME TO CHECK UP ON SANS AND YOU Sans: I WILL LEAVE NOW You: Kay pap You: Bye then! Sans: YES HUMAN! I WILL TELL NO ONE ABOUT KINKY You: YEs Okay :D Sans: BYE Sans: jesus you saved my ass there You: I'm alex btw Sans: hmmmmm You: ALSO You: HOW TF DO YOU BLUSH YOU DONT HAVE BLOOD You: OR DO YOU Sans: uh Sans: mmmmmmmmmmmmagic? You: >:( You: Alex is not pleased by this answer Sans: well too bad for you because idk how it works ;D You: is paps gonna tell everyone about the legendary pasta now Sans: I doubt it. He has promised not to Sans: I think he thinks he is in a special group or something You: that group must be kinky Sans: hmMmMmmMMMMMM Sans: *cringing intensifies* You: same sorry dude <3 Sans: <333333333 You: ha Sans: wait hold on people are calling me You: k Sans: ew Sans: they want my help to take the stage down Sans: ://///////////////////////// Sans: ew I don't feel like working You: when do you feel like working anyway Sans: uh Sans: well Sans: not You: that's what I thought You: get your bony ass outside Sans: I d o n t h a v e a n a s s b u t o k a y You: sh Sans: shhhh Sans: the legendary pasta You: is this your way to saying kinky to me now Sans: yes You: nice You: WELL GET OUTSIDE Sans: OKAY OKAY MOM JEEZ You: the legendary spaghetti Sans: JEEZ MOM Sans: TOMORROW WHATEVER? You: DO YOU REALLY AHVE TO ASK? You: FUCK I RUINED IT BY MY TYPO You: (can yo uask it again I'm ashamed now)) Sans: TOMORROW WHATEVER? You: DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO ASK? ***** A 'little' 'tipsy' ***** You: HEI BONEBOYYYY You: U THERE??? Sans: yeh Sans: good morning for you fleshgirl You: saaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnssssssssss Sans: ye You: bonedaddy You: <3333 Sans: what You: sansy pantsy Sans: I'm genuinely confused right now You: snassssssssssssss Sans: ?????????/ Sans: Alexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx You: BONE ME Sans: okay that's it are you drunk You: what no You: why would I be drunk Sans: you sure? You: yesss Sans: you're drunk Sans: for sure You: Hey, Jess here. Alex is indeed drunk and she's passed out rn. I just caught her sitting on her laptop Sans: oh hey jess Sans: how come she was though You: We went to a party of my friend but she didn't know the punch was spiked Sans: ah Sans: lol Sans: s she allright tho You: ye You: She can handle it I guess You: I'll get some water and ibuprofen for when she wakes up Sans: nice Sans: btw Sans: did you know you could treat a hangover with tomatoes You: nope I didn't Sans: well tomatoes contain fructose which helps along the metabolism of alcohol in the body. You: I didn't understand a single word of that sentence, but i'll give her some tomatoes Sans: nice Sans: eggs help as well You: Why don't I know this Sans: Eggs contain an amino acid called cysteine which helps counter the effects of acetaldehyde, a side effect of excessive alcohol consumption. You: how do you know this Sans: uh Sans: google You: ah You: well that explains it Sans: though, you have to say, feeding her some eggs would be an eggcellent idea Sans: ;))))) You: e n d m y s u f f e r I n g You: literally, fun fact: Alex always makes breakfast which consists of eggs and bacon, and she always makes that pun Sans: lol Sans: so it doesn't CRACK you up anymore You: I'm so done Sans: ;-; You: WELL YOLKS ON YOU IM NOT LEAVING Sans: WHAHAHJKSLJKDL:F You: I made a pun You: yes, I, jess am capable of doing that Sans: .-. You: My puns are eggstravaganza Sans: ....... Sans: good one You: eggactly Sans: I never thought I would get beaten by you You: HAHAH Sans: wow pal, don't get too eggcited You: .ksljf;a You: that's just me slamming alex' keyboard don't worry Sans: lol You: *twitching eye* You: btw You: I cant seem to figure this out You: how o people see when eggs are hatched, if there are chickens in it Sans: dunno You: they have eggs-ray vision Sans: I give up Sans: .......... You: what? Are you b-egg-ing me to stop Sans: what is this Sans: I thought you were like papyrus Sans: less innocent but still against puns You: oh I like to crack a few puns here and there You: THAT ONE WASNT EVEN INTENDED IM A GENIUS Sans: you sure are pal You: omgjisodjfakl You: I cant hold on You: .jakjkdl Sans: calm tf down jess You: I JUST REMMEBERED IT IS ONLY 4 DAYS TILL THE CONCERT Sans: IKR You: You're on tour with them right? Sans: I don't know, am I? Sans: jk I am You: HOW IS THE SHOW You: WHAT SONGS IS HE GONNA SING Sans: well the show is special Sans: I guess you could call it that Sans: dunno I'm just cookin pasta while everyone watches Sans: though, I can hear his music in the kitchen You: WHAT SOGNS DI D HE SING Sans: uh Sans: something about a poor robot and a rich ghost or something You: JSDKLFJLSKD:J You: POOR GHOST AND RICH ROBOT LOVE You: THATS WHAT THE SONG IS CALLED You: OML IS HE GONNA PERFORM IT Sans: well I heard it so I guess so You: *SCREETCH* You: DID YOU HEAR MORE Sans: I don't wanna spoil u Sans: I'm all against spoilers You: pls pls You: pls You: pls You: pls You: pls Sans: shoo You: pls You: Pls Sans: okok You: YES Sans: okay I heard something like 'waterfall waterfall, what if I fall into this abyss' You: SCREEE You: THATS MY FAVORITE SONG You: ITS A REALLY DARK SONG TOO You: OML HE's OGNNA PERFORM IT Sans: shhhh Sans: wait mtt makes dark songs as well You: only a few You: dunno he had like this period where he made a couple of dark songs and then went over to the more famous ones nowadays Sans: okok You: I think alex is waking up hold on Sans: ok You: she's waking up You: shit wait I forget to get tomatoes and eggs Sans: you're not suppose to do that directly after the pills ;) You: shoo okok Sans: say hi from me to her You: shh I'm busy taking care of my child Sans: what You: I call her my child no more questions Sans: ok Sans: ill just sing a song then Sans: or type it Sans: wait I have to come up with a song first Sans: JUST GIVE ME A CALL ON THE PHONE Sans: THEY NEED A MONSTER THAT THEY CAN ROOT FOR Sans: THEY NEED A MONSTER THAT THEY BELIEVE IN Sans: AND I'LL BE THERE SHINING Sans: AND DARLING I SWEAR I'LL NEVER LEAVE Sans: jeez this mtt stuff is getting to my head Sans: what is life Sans: did you know that cats can't taste sweet things Sans: and did you know that moths don't have a stromach You: HA U FILTHY MTT FAN You: ALEX IS BACK BITCHES You: IM A LITTLE (much) VOMITING EVERYWHERE BUT OK Sans: HEIIIIIIII You: IM STILL TIPSY DONT TAKE EVERYTHING I SAY FOR GRANTED Sans: wait alex Sans: just scroll up for a bit You: oh You and jess talked? You: OH MY GOD You: OHHH MY GOD You: SHE MADE PUNS You: SHE ENVER DOES THIS Sans: I THOUGHT SHE WAS LIKE PAP BUT LESS INNOCENT You: SAME You: IM GONNA TEASE HER FOREVER ABOUT THIS Sans: HAHAHHAHA You: EW wAIT HOLD ON JUST A SECOND Sans: ok You: JEss here again You: status update: Alex is throwing up elegantly in the toilet Sans: how can one throw up elegantly You: its just the way of life You: she is returning Sans: okok You: aaaaaaaaaaaand she passed out on the floor Sans: she literally said she was just a little tipsy You: lol You: don't think so pal You: she is like straight up drunk Sans: lol Sans: Well wish her good night from me You: Will do Sans :D Sans: take care of her k? You: yes yes You: OEH WAIT DOES SOMEONE CARE ABOUT HIS SPECIAL FRIEND Sans: I sure do Sans: well imma sleep now Sans: I'm just bone tired You: =.= Sans: kay kay Sans: Bye then You: Bye :) ***** Sansco is real ***** You: HEYA You: boneboy u there Sans: HEY FLESHGIRL You: GUESS WHAT Sans: well what You: IM NOT DRUNK :D Sans: HA Sans: I talked to jess yesterday :D Sans: while you were 'majestically throwing up' You: that's the way of life You: also You: what You: I literally cant remember yesterday You: hold on I'll scroll up so that I can see yesterdays chatlogs Sans: okok You: what You: what You: what You: JeSS IS MAKING PUNS?? You: SHE NEVER DOES THAT????????? Sans: I guess I just have that impact on people You: ALSO WHAT You: I SAID I WAS A LITTLE TIPSY You: I was literally wasted You: someone spiked the punch rip Sans: yeah I heard that You: lol You: HA You: U SAID U CARED ABOUT ME Sans: well of course? Sans: why wouldn't I care bout u You: dunno :d You: ANYWAY hOW ARE YOU Sans: well Sans: tired Sans: we had to set up the stage and stuff You: ew Sans: I'm sure your days was better than mine, so how was your dday You: uh You: job hunting Sans: and? You: NOTHING You: UHGHH Sans: ://////////////// Sans: so what are you gonna do now? You: ugh idk You: Jess is soon moving out to live with her boyfriend and idk what I'm gonna do then if I don't get a job Sans: :/ You: lets just say the bags under my eyes look brighter than my future Sans: same same You: how do you even have bags under your eyes Sans: I really don't know Sans: MMMMMMMAGIC? Sans: I'm a magic skeleton You: well hi a magic skeleton You: I'm alex Sans: SKDLFJKLS:D Sans: noot You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA You: 3 DAYS LEFT Sans: YES Sans: IM GONNA GIVE YOU A HUG WHEN I MEET YOU You: YES You: I'm probably gonna give everyone a hug and cry Sans: same same You: ITS SO SOON ALREADY Sans: SKDFJ:LS Sans: PAPYRUS IS SO EXCITED Sans: EVERYONE IS EXCITED Sans: NOOOOT You: SKLDJFL:S You: JESS IS EXCITED TOO You: SHE WANTS TO MEET YOU AND PAPYRUS You: (she secretly wants to confirm you all aren't 50 year old men) Sans: hahahahha yeahh.. about that... You: ?? Sans: we all are 50 year old men Sans: get into my van sweetheart You: ok Sans: there is wifi and candy in my van You: ok Sans: nice Sans: BTW Sans: HAHA Sans: SO THIS HAPPENED TODAY Sans: SO DO YOU REMEMBER THE TIME I ASKED MTT FOR A FEDORA Sans: just for shits and giggles You: hmmmmmmmm You: Oh yeah I remember that Sans: HE GAVE ME 3 DIFFERENT FEDORAS You: HAHAHHAHSDKLJFL:K You: amazing Sans: YES Sans: HA Sans: so one is pink with a shit ton of glitter Sans: another one is just mtt's face Sans: and the last one is pink with more pink and pink You: pink intensifies Sans: IKR' Sans: I'm so gonna wear these Sans: IRONICALLY You: OLOLOL You: so I needed some shoes You: (this was today btw) You: and I ended up searching the internet for it You: and now I'm just asking how I ended up looking at pull overs for men You: (and for me ha) Sans: happens to me all the time Sans: skajf;ks Sans: TaCo just walked ove rmy keyboard what is this madness You: Lol I forgot about taco You: how is the dude doing Sans: oh he's fine Sans: :D You: :3 You: *cosplaying as ur cat* Sans: 10/10 cosplay Sans: Alphys and undyne did a cosplay recently Sans: idk what anime though You: ayy You: I cosplayed someone once Sans: Who? You: ... You: I basically made me into a slytherin Sans: NICE You: IKR You: SKJDF:L You: I'm too much of a potterhead Sans: Yeah you are You: BUT You: I'LL BRING BOOKS FOR YOU Sans: YAY You: :D:D Sans: (do you have the harry potter series) You: (of course I'm gonna bring that what did you think) Sans: idk You: :D Sans: HAHA Sans: SO Sans: THIS WAS FUNNY TODAY Sans: SO ME ALPHYS AND UNDYNE WERE BUILDING THE STAGE Sans: AND Sans: I CAUGHT THEM MAKING OUT Sans: SO I TOOK OUT MY PHONE AND PLAYED CARELESS WHISPER Sans: we laughed for like 239428030 hours You: HAHAHA You: lmao You: guess what I cant get caught making out You: #foreveralone Sans: date me You: phf Sans: <4 You: wow a 3 was too much?????????????? Sans: yes <5 You: B-BUT S-SENPAI??? Sans: Y-Yes You: TCH YOU WEIRDO You: B-BAKA Sans: you're doin a pretty good tsundreplane impression there You: whatplane Sans: tsundreplane is a monster Sans: its a tsundre Sans: and a plane You: wow couldn't have figured that Sans: lmaomoa Sans: welp You: Jess is jumping around the apartment again You: what is life Sans: idk man You: noot Sans: I'm tired and its 9 pm what You: Yeah its quite early for me as well? Sans: what is this our sleeping schedules You: mine is nonexistent You: free will Sans: Free willy You: maybe I should free your willy ;)))))))))))))))) Sans: ;)))))))))))))) You: ;)))))))))))) Sans: *wink wonk* Sans: alex You: yes Sans: do you want to hear my 69/10 pick up line You: ok Sans: *slaps* NOW SUCK Sans: works every time You: 10/10 would slap again You: my ultra pick up line: You: I'm a previously convicted rapist, wanna hangout? Sans: o-O I would You: yes it worked Sans: nice shoes Sans: wanna fuck You: I MAY NOT BE THE PRETTIEST GIRL BUT IM THE ONLY ONE TALKING TO YOU You: how to be desperate 101 Sans: our pick up lines are the best tbh You: ikr You: I should be crowned Sans: WHAT ABOUT ME HUH You: you can get a tiara Sans: aye Sans: "Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poems, nice tits" - Sansmaster 2k16 You: skelenerd Sans: humannerd You: lazybones Sans: oKAY MY MASTER PICK UP LINE Sans: IT WILL DESTROY EVERYONE Sans: HERE GOES: Sans: Breathe if you're horny. All right :D You: bitch I can top that Sans: i'd top you Sans: ifyouknowwhatimean ;))))))))))))00 Sans: laklsdj;fa Sans: lol that was taco again kms You: HAH You: HERE COMES MY AWARD WINNING PICK UP LINE: You: You look almost as good as my brother. But y'know. That's illegal Sans: *cries* Sans: naw Sans: NAWHWHH You: ?? You: are you that impressed You: I am pretty great Sans: NAHW Sans: TACO IS CURLED UP AGAINST ME AND HES SO CUTE KSDJFL:SDJ You: NAHW You: Sansco You: I'm gonna write a sansco fanfic Sans: I will read it when you do You: I will probably do it You: have too much time on my hands Sans: same Sans: NAHW TACO IS CUTE You: u go make out with taco then Sans: shh Sans: Sansco is real You: shit and I was just hoping for Alesans to be real You: oh well You: ILL LEAVE THEN ;-; Sans: IT ISNT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE SENPAI You: T^T Sans: I do love my cat though You: YOU LEFT ME FOR A CAT Sans: *dramatic pose* You: *Cries dramatically* Sans: *Majestically vomits* You: DONT BRING THAT UP Sans: BITCH I JUST DID Sans: btw Sans: imma slepe for a bit You: keke You: TOMORROW? Sans: DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO ASK? ***** Surrounded by Tall Noodles ***** You: It was a late summer night. Sans was very tired and so was his crush Taco. "Hey Babyboy come here <3" Sans said in a smooth voice and winked at Taco. "purr." Taco said and went to sit in Sans' lap. "oh baby yessssssssssss" Sans huffed in a rough voice. "puuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrr" the cat purred intensely. "oh baby more!!!!!!!11111!!!!!!!!" You: this is what I call a Sansco Fanfic You: Made by Alex Parker Sans: HEY Sans: O-O Sans: I read that Sans: beautiful You: ikr Sans: your fanfic writingskills are over 9000 You: you are aware that is an anime joke right Sans: uh Sans: idk alphpys and undyne are constantly saying it You: HAHA You: ITS OVER 9000 SANSPAI!!! Sans: my penis is over 9000 inch You: you wish Sans: it is Sans: no kidding You: my penis is 9001 inch Sans: oh shit I'm beaten Sans: oh well You: SANS You: HMHMHMMMMMMMMMMMMMM You: 2 DAYS LEFT Sans: SO CLOSE You: YET SO FAR AWAY Sans: WE WILL SEE EACH OTHER IN 72 HOUR????????????? You: SHIT DUDE WHADDUPPPDPDPPSDKLFJ:SLD Sans: NOOT IM SO EXCITED You: SAME Sans: NOSKJD:LFJ You: HOW TALL ARE YOU Sans: Hmmmmmmmm Sans: I'm 9000 inches long Sans: penis size that is You: same Sans: nah I'm 6' You: o_O Your: ur a tall noodle Sans: I'm literally one of the smallest of the group Sans: pap is like 6'4 and undyne is like 6'5 or something You: o_O_O_O_O_O Sans: Alphys is 5'8 or somethin You: I'm 5'6 Sans: UR SMOLL Sans: IM GONNA SQUEEZE YOU Sans: NAHWHHKLSJDFL: You: I'm a smoll bean shh Sans: SNANWHKLJ You: AHHA You: the adventures of toll noodle and smoll bean You: I'm gonna feel so small there jezus You: MTT IS LIKE 6'5 OR SOMETHING You: sjkd;ljfalskd You: what is life Sans: idk Sans: IM TALLER AHHAH You: pffffffff You: pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff You: ur just a giant Sans: you know what other part of me is giant You: isweartogod Sans: ;))))))))))))00 You: ha Sans: hey girl are you made of boren oxygen and neon Sans: Because I want to BONe you Sans: ;))))))) You: creative Sans: ikr You: ha You: sooooooooooooo You: did ya do anything interesting today Sans: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Sans: well I drove to your town Sans: and now we are like unpacking all stuff Sans: and we will set up the stage tomorrow You: nice You: wow we are so close Sans: YET SO FAR AWAY You: *dramatically poses* You: I have reached the point that I woke up at 3:30 pm Sans: O_o You: lmao You: SO yEAH MY DAY WAS SPECTACULAIR You: JOB HUNTING You: GUESS WHAT Sans: YOU AHVE A JOB? You: NOPE You: :D You: HA FML You: I really don't know what to do though. Jess is soon moving out and I justc ant find a job and askdj;lfalsk Sans: don't stress Sans: how long till she moves out though You: in 3 months already Sans: welp Sans: time to die You: same You: idontknowwhattodoandimstressing Sans: hmmmmmmmm Sans: write a book? You: have you seen the fanfiction I just wrote Sans: ... Sans: don't write a book then You: lmao You: ill come up with something You: blerb You: how is your lover doing You: I meant taco Sans: pffffff Sans: he's fine Sans: he's beside me You: nahw You: I still ship it though Sans: ship what u want You: ha Sans: ughdksga;lkdj You: taco? Sans: nah that was just my head falling on my laptop Sans: I'm so tired Sans: IM ALWAYS TIRED Sans: I HAVE TO DRIVE A GODDAMN 32i489230-849823 MILES Sans: EVERY 3 DAYS Sans: KILL ME Sans: I HAVE 1 HP DO IT You: 1 HP? You: as in what you have in videogames? Sans: yup You: (that's very little) Sans: wow I didn't notice that You: how come though? Sans: not talking bout that now Sans: i'll tell you another time You: keke You: oml You: so I was teasing Jess about the fact that she told puns Sans: HAHA You: AND THEN You: SHE SAID You: "I find making puns quite appealing" You: SHE WAS EATING A BANANA You: and I cried a little Sans: HAHA Sans: IM SO PROUD Sans: orange you glad she makes puns now You: yes You: WAIITTTTTT Sans: ;) You: ..... You: I'm feeling a bit meloncholy now Sans: smooth Sans: I love you from my head tomatoes You: smooth Sans: HEY I CAN LOVE A FRIEND You: don't let your dreams be dreams Sans: I wont :) You: (whydidyoufriendzoneme) Sans: (everyonecangetoutofthefriendzone) You: (NICE) Sans: iffeel so cornfused now You: ;) You: well orange you cute Sans: you're one in a melon You: you win Sans: HA Sans: well you're the apple of my eye ;))))))))))) You: I already said you win You: I'm feeling so humiliated You: but I'm pine now Sans: well if you would be a tropical fruit Sans: you'd be a fine-apple Sans: ;))))) You: I'm still queen of the pickuplines though You: you can be the ruler of puns Sans: accepted You: Nice Sans: y'know Sans: we'd make a pearfect couple You: noot noot You: jkdal;jfs You: smooth Sans: ikr Sans: I'm so smooth You: WELL HI SO SMOOTH IM ALEX :D Sans: why do you say that like every day You: Because I grab every opportunity to do that Sans: ha Sans: NAHWHWHSJKLD:FJLS Sans: NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHWWWWWWWWWWWW Sans: TACO IS PURRING AND SITTING IN MY LAP You: Sans freaking out over his cat episode 239804 Sans: shoo Sans: this cat is cute You: h You: a You: you know who's cute too Sans: me You: ME You: oh You: well You: mmmmmm Sans: imma sleep I think Sans: I'm tired Sans: WAIT DONT You: Hi TiReD I'm AlEx You: WELL SLEEP WELL CHILD Sans: child Sans: I'm taller than you Sans: take that Sans: take my penis also You: smooth Sans: ikr Sans: WELL GOODNIGHT You: GOOD NIGHT BABE You: <33333333333 Sans: Tomorrow? You: ohmygod tomorrow will be the last time we chat before we meet da;lkfjs;ldk Sans: ohsdmfaksjdfhoshdggoghodhgkodjsflhgohgodkjg You: IM SO EXCITED Sans: SAME Sans: HYPE You: well have fun making out with taco Sans: will do You: GOOD NIGHT Sans: TOMORROW? You: Do YoU rEaLlY hAvE tO aSk ***** 0 days! ***** You: WELL HELLO THERE BONEBOY Sans: HELLO HUMAN BEING MADE OUT OF FLESH You: hello Sans: NSKLJFS:LD Sans: THIS WILL BE THE LAST TIM EWE CHAT BEFORE WE MEET Sans: I CANT You: AAAAAAAAAAAAA You: IM FREAKING OUT Sans: SAME Sans: BLKSJDL:FKJ Sans: 1 DAY You: TOMORROW You: AAAAAAA You: WAIT NO You: TODAY You: IM GOING TO MEET YOU TODAY Sans: ITS STILL 1 DAY FOR ME You: LDOLKSFJDL:F You: 0 DAYS You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Sans: same You: S:DKLJFLSDk Sans: IM FGONNA MEET YOUSIUFIS You: I WILL MEET ALL THE TOLL NOODLES Sans: I WILL SQUEEZE You You: (don't let me die please) You: ALSO I WILL PROBABLY BE CRYING BUT THATS OKAY Sans: sAME You: HOW DO SKELETONS CRY Sans: I DOn T KNoW Sans: BUT I DO SOMETIME You: COOL You: I do too Sans: wow Sans: noot i have gbeen setting up the stage with undyne and pap again Sans: we were listening to this thing called vocaloids You: *DEEP BREATH* You: *INHALE* You: boiIlovevocaloidssomuchwhichonewhereyoulisteningto Sans: Uhhhhhhh Sans: hold on I'll ask undyne Sans: I'm in her camper Sans: idk what reason lol You: cool Sans: apparently we were listening to hatsune miku or something You: BOIJDOSIFKJLS:DF:L Sans: you like that one? You: YES Sans: Any songs I should listen to? You: LISTEN TO MIND BRAND You: AND DISILLUSIONED You: AND LOVE ME LOVE ME You: (I'm dropping hints here ;)))))))))))))))) Sans: I asked undyne if she wanted to play that Sans: ok she is playing mind brand Sans: SJKLDFJ:SLKDJ You: IKR Sans: ITS SO CATCHY I LOVE IT You: HA YOU CANT SPEAK JAPANESE BUT THE LYRICS ARE VERY DARK Sans: baka chan cherry blossom kawaii kun sensei senpai Sans: see I can speak Japanese what are you talking about You: oh shit sorry senpai Sans: that's sanspai for you You: knew that You: shh Sans: BUT REALLY THOUGh Sans: THIS SONG You: IRK Sans: OH TACO IS WITH ME AGAIN :DDDDDDDDDD You: tans You: sansco You: SANSCO IS REAL Sans: btw do you know things about cats You: uh yesh Sans: okay then Sans: so uh Sans: are you supposed to feed a cat? You: you're joking right You: ..... You: O_o Sans: ? You: ......... You: ............. You: YOU DIDNT FEED YOUR CAT You: ????????? Sans: AHAHHAHA Sans: U JUST GOT PRANKED Sans: BY PRANKMASTER SANS Sans: HAHAHHAHAHA You: pfffffff You: REALLY THOUGH You: WHAT IF I CANT FIND THE CAFETERIA Sans: there are literally signs signs everywhere You: OH OKAY Sans: pfff You: IM JUST SO EXCITED Sans: same same Sans: Undyne and Al are too :D Sans: hold on they want to steal my laptop You: ok Sans: PUNK You: HEY UNDYNE Sans: HOW DID YOU KNOW IT WA SME You: you are literally the only one saying punk Sans: THAT IS Sans: true Sans: SO YOU LIKE VOCALOIDS You: YES You: I like materu so much I cant Sans: We just started listening to it Sans: its awesome so far :D:SD You: ;D Sans: IM SO EXCITED FOR MEETING YOU PUNK Sans: NYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Sans: I JUST WANT TO SPAWN A SPEAR RIGH TNOW AND CHOP A TREE Sans: YOU KNOW WHAT Sans: IM GONNA DO IT Sans: ALPHYS WILL HOLD THE LAPTOP NOW You: Hey Al :D Sans: Heya :D Sans: Looking forward to tomorrow? You: YES You: You? Sans: OFC Sans: :D Sans: oh god undyne actually ran outside You: HAHAHHA Sans: Aaaaand sans is busy with his cat again You: I ship Sansco You: Sans x Taco Sans: OMG Sans: YES *-* You: I WROTE A SANSCO FANFICTION YESTERDAY You: Pure art if I may say so myself Sans: cool You: I also came to know that you're all toll noodles Sans: :3 You: And I'm apparently a smoll bean Sans: HAHA Sans: Me too though You: So what is your job at the tour exactly? Sans: Oh well I work on Mettaton and make sure he isn't broken :D Sans: (I also made mtt's body lol) You: oh no biggie ofc You: jk You: I have like this fangirl friend and she's so excited Sans: Haha You: She has been jumping around the house for almost 23 days You: I cant Sans: lol Sans: oh here comes sans again Sans: See you on tour :D You: You too :D Sans: sup You: NAHW SANS WAS WITH HIS VERTEBAE AGAIN You: NAHWHWHHW Sans: but you are my vertebae You: <3 You: *wink* Sans: wow ur really dropping hints You: *hides behind plant so that sanspai wont see me* Sans: shit I'm someones sanspai You: *winking intensifies* Sans: *winks back* You: SANSPAI HAS NOTICED ME KSKDJLFKLS: Sans: ha Sans: hey girl wanna go on a date I make over 4 dollars a year You: wow cool Sans: hey girl your lips look lonely, do you want to meet mine You: you don't have lips You: try again boneboy Sans: I'm not a photographer but I can picture us together ;) Sans: are you a tortilla because I want to flip you over and eat you out;) You: *cries* You: what is this madness Sans: so do you know what I like in a girl You: well what do you like in a girl sans Sans: my dick You: I FUCKIGN SNORtED You: AHHSaHSKJDHFHAHAHHA You: If I were a cat I would spend my 9 lives with u <3 Sans: but I have taco You: pff you love cats Sans: true Sans: did you know that they call me the cat whisperer You: oww do they Sans: no but I know what a pussy needs ;))))))))))))))))))0 You: I swear to fucking god save me from this hell Sans: pffffff Sans: well as long as I have a face you will always have a seat You: hey tie your shoes I don't want you falling for anyone else Sans: I HAVE ALREADY FALLEN Sans: AND I CANT GET UP You: mememasster You: PSH Sans: the shirt can go but you have to stay You: OH OKAY THEN I SEE HOW IT IS You: PFFFFFFFFFF Sans: NOOT Sans: IM STILL EXCITED FOR TOMORROW You: ITS IN 18 HOURS ALREADY Sans: GO SLEEP Sans: GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP You: OKAY SHH You: did you know that motel is spelled letom backwards Sans: yes Sans: NOW LETS DO OUR ALWAYS FOR THE LAST TIME You: this is very emotional for me Sans: same I cant You: *sniff* You: Tomorrow? Sans: WELL HECK YEAH ***** The day has finally come ***** Today is the day. Tour day.   Me and my friend Jess are currently sitting in a taxi. It is quite late already, since Mettaton didn't start his show until eleven PM. Jess is shaking in excitement while sitting beside me. She was finally going to see her idol. I myself are shaking in excitement as well. Only for other reasons. I am going to see my internet friends for the first time. It's sad that they have to leave almost after the show though. Being in a taxi is the most perfect moment to ask yourself questions. Like why don't we have a car to ride ourselves there? I want to take a nap, but Jess wont let me. Every time I was half asleep, Jess would wake me and say that we would be almost there (which we wouldn't by the way). Eventually, we reach the tour terrain and pay the taxidriver before stepping out of the vehicle and walking to the tour terrain. There are a few booths with both humans and monsters in front of them, only to buy or to show their tickets. Jess and I had already ordered the tickets online, which meant we should be able to quickly pass the booth and walk on the terrain, searching for a good place. It wasn't the actual show I am looking forward to, heck, fuck the show, I was looking forward to the break, where I could meet my friends. Jess and I are one of the first people to be on the terrain, so I got dragged towards the stage, so that we would have a good place to stand and see everything whatever would be happening on there. Slowly but surely, the terrain began filling itself with people of both humans and monsters. The lights on the terrain muted themselves and the lights on the stage went on. A mix of bright pink and white was there to be seen. It sort of blinded me a bit. Everyone suddenly yells and screams. Mettaton came on stage. "GOOD EVENING DARLINGS!" He yells, followed by people, including Jess screaming and yelling. Get me out of this right now. "ARE YOU ALL UP FOR A WONDERFULL SHOW?" Mettaton says and poses dramatically. Again, screaming and yelling. Let it be break soon please. Finally break came around the corner and the terrain began to empty slowly. Because Jess and I were standing in the front row, the two of you were the last to leave. Mettaton had already left the stage, so I figured I would just say hi after the show. The two of you began making your way to the cafeteria. "That was absolutely amazing." Jess suddenly says. She is still sobbing from the first half of the show. I'm curious how she will survive the next part. "Yeah it was all right." I agree and shrug. I'm already pretty happy that I'm not deaf. "Hey how about you get us something to drink and I'll find Sans?" I suggest. "Sure." Jess simply agrees and runs off into the cafeteria. Okay so I'm standing in front of a cafeteria right now. What should I do and where do I find that skeleton. "NYAAGH YOU DIDN'T PAY FOR THAT!" A loud voice from the cafeteria shouted and was apparently chasing a bald man, in his mid thirties probably, who is running from the cafeteria with a couple of beers in his hand. I guess he had stolen those beers, and decide to chaise him as well. He is coming this way anyway. I act like nothing is happening until the man came running towards me. I jump when he was in reach and got a hold of both his legs, making him tumble. The beer spats all over me when he fell. "You bitch! Why the fuck did you do that!?" The man shouts and slaps me in my face. Well excuse you. I yell in pain. I hear footsteps coming closer, and the man attempted to run again, but soon got caught by a blue fish lady. Wait. Oh my god a blue fish lady. Undyne. I ran towards my friend and wrapped her in a hug when she had chained the man. "Dude what the hell is wrong with you?!" She spat and drags the man on his collar towards some building. "Oh I just have really bad amnesia and some internet friends I want to meet." I smirk at her face of realization when she heard what I just had said. "Wait don't tell me.." Undyne said with glinstering eyes. I nodded. She gives me a toothy smile and wraps me in a tight hug. "PUNK IT'S REALLY YOU!" Undyne laughed. "WE HAVE TO SEE THE OTHERS!" I laugh at her enthusiasm and smile myself as well. "Can I maybe get a towel first? I got the beer all over me." "Sure. Let me bring this dude over to that building first though. Wait here." She says, picks up the man and runs towards the building. Undyne drops the man off there and runs back towards me. This reminds me of a puppy. I chuckle. "Dude we have to live in campers now. Come on, maybe someone is there. You can have a pair of my clothes." She excitedly says and drags me with her towards a field with a few campers on it. Undyne eventually opens her camper and threw me a fresh set of clothes which consists of a red sweater with a black tanktop underneath it and some skinny jeans I didn't actually need because only my shirt was drenched. But she insists so I just take the offer. I quickly dress myself and leave the camper, to see Undyne waiting for me outside. "Happy camper now?" I smile at Undyne. "Yes! Come on we gotta see the boys first. Alphys is busy with Mettaton in the break anyways. You can see that cutie after the show." Undyne smiles and drags me towards the cafeteria. My phone is buzzing, which probably will be a text of Jess. Jess: Alex where are you? I can't find you anywhere and the show is starting You: I'm in the cafeteria. Don't worry bout me. I'm fine :D Jess: Ok have fun there x You: You too x I quickly reply while running towards the large building which smelled like beer and spaghetti. Undyne and I enter the building and saw just an empty (and dirty) room with tables and such. "PUNKS COME OUT!" Undyne calls and grinned. She signs that I should go stand behind her. And so I did. "NYEH UNDYNE! BACK SO SOON? ARE YOU HUNGRY?" A loud voice said from the kitchen. I really wanted to squeal from happiness. This was the kind (and really loud) voice of the one and only Papyrus. He talks in caps lock as well apparently. "YEAH! GET ME TWO PLATES ACTUALLY. ALSO, GET SANS." She shouts again. "SANS?" Papyrus shouted. "sup." A voice behind me says. I jump at the sudden voice and fell on the floor. I laugh when I see the shocked expression on his face. "Alex?" He says in a shaky tone and helps me up. I couldn't do anything more than just hug him and sob. I have no idea why I'm sobbing though. Probably from happiness or something. I nod. "oh god it's so good to meet you." Sans says and embraces me as well. "Two seconds in and you both are already a crying mess." Undyne laughs and joins the hug. "NYEH DON'T FORGET PAPYRUS!" Papyrus says and hugs everyone as well. "HI ALEX!" "Hi Pap!" I smile happily. "WE WERE JUST MAKING SPAGHETTI!" Papyrus excitedly says. "AND I PREPARED A PLATE FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO TRY IT!" He continues and runs of to the kitchen. I'm pretty sure I look like a sobbing, laughing and smiling dork right now but I don't care right now. "you want something to drink?" Sans offers. "Sure." I say and sit down at a random table with Undyne Sans walks to the kitchen hastily to get me a drink. Then Undyne touches my arm lightly. "Dude if you don't go outside, you'll miss the show!" "Don't care. I'd rather be you guys helping out here than going completely deaf out there. Have you even stood there?" I laugh. "So what can I help you guys out with?" I ask and look around the place. "well we just have to make a shitload of spaghetti." Sans laughs and hands me the drink. I smile and take little sips from the drink. "I can help with that." I state and stand up and roll up the sleeves from the sweater. "m'kay then. let's make some spaghetti.' ***** Wh0t ***** I was only cutting tomatoes when I notice Sans beside me, grinning. "wanna learn how to cut tomatoes like a pro?" He smirks and takes his right hand out of his pocket. I snicker. "Sure. Show me how it's done boneboy." I say and see him take my place behind the cutting board. A blue power forms in his hands and a blue aura surrounds a couple of knifes. The knifes begin cutting and mashing the tomatoes while Sans is lazily grinning at me. So he has telekinetic powers. Well then. He didn't lie about being a magical skeleton. "ALEX ARE THE TOMATOES READY?" Papyrus shouts from the other side, busy with boiling the noodles. "Almost!" I shout and eye Sans a nervous look, who is currently shoving the tomatoes in a bowl with his powers. When the tomatoes are done, I bring the bowl to the taller skeleton, who thanks me. "So what now?" I ask him and look at the kitchen. Undyne is busy doing whatever she is doing. Probably smashing something and Sans is doing.. well.. Sans things. "YOU CAN HELP PLACING PLATES AND CUTLERY ON THE TABLES!" Papyrus shouts and points at a rather large cupboard, probably with the plates in it. I open it and grab the plates out of it and walk trough the door, into the cafeteria. I also notice how Mettaton is ending the concert and the majority of sound which is coming trough these walls is insane. I begin placing the plates on the tables while humming a Mettaton song. Blame the concert for that I suppose. "need help?" Sans asks suddenly. I jump at his deep voice, not expecting him to behind me. "jeez calm down. I know I'm stunning but you don't have to jump." He laughs and begins placing cutlery on the table. "Well have a knife day." I grin. Sans laughs and continues placing the cutlery. "See you spoon." I snort. "You better fork off with your puns." I laugh again and finish placing the plates. Sans finishes as well and returns to the kitchen with me. "that was forking terrible." "SANS I SWEAR TO GOD WE HAVE A GUEST YOU CAN'T MAKE PUNS!" Papyrus shouts angrily and stands in the doorway. I'm pretty sure I see a smile on his face as well though. "Too spoon?" I grin at Papyrus' face. "NYEH SANS YOU HAVE ALREADY INFLUENCED HER!" "Hey spooner or later I'll leave." I laugh. Sans is now rolling on the floor. Undyne groans at my amazing puns and continues smashing things. I hear the door opening and I look the way of the door. Mettaton and a lizard lady are standing in the doorway. Deep breaths Alex, deep breaths. "HELLO DARLINGS! I AM BACK!" Mettaton shouts and poses dramatically in the doorway, which is inconvenient for Alphys, since she hasn't walked out of there yet. "ALPHYS!" I shout a little too enthousiast and run over there to hug her. "A-Alex?" She stutters and hugs back awkwardly. Maybe I shouldn't have been that excited, since she is jumpy and all. "The one and only." I smile and let go of her. "Oh w-wow! It's so g-good meeting you!" Alphys laughs and walks into the kitchen. "Is everything going as planned here?" "YES! WE EVEN HAVE TIME LEFT BECAUSE ALEX CUT THE TOMATOES AND SET THE TABLE WITH SANS!" Papyrus shouts happily and energetic as always. If I won't be deaf in a few hours, that would be a miracle. "I believe we met online?" Mettaton asks you innocently and shakes my hand before striking a dramatic pose again, causing me to bow forward. "Yeah we talked one or two times." I say. Oh if Jess would know I am talking to Mettaton.. "mt?" Sans asks, getting the robot's attention. "so Alex is kinda looking for a job. and I thought maybe you could help her out? I mean we could use some help in the kitchen and such." He asks. Wait what? Did Sans literally talk me into a job. I swear if he succeeds I'll kiss him. "Well that is true." Mettaton says and thinks for a bit. "You know what Alex? Welcome to the MTTEAM!" He announces, claps his hands and poses dramatically again. Okay well I have to kiss a short skeleton now. Also, WHAT? I just stand there in shock. How the hell am I going to even to this? I mean can I go on a tour just randomly? "You do want to join the MTTEAM, do you?" Mettaton asks when I didn't say anything. "No, no I do!" I smile. "How am I going to go fix how I travel though? Aren't you guys like packing tomorrow or something?" Fuck how the hell am I going to do this? "well I have a two persons camper. you could stay over with me if you like?" Sans suggests. Okay fuck this might actually work. "I suppose I could?" I say, completely bewildered. "If I won't be intruding that is." "WELL THAT'S SETTELED THEN!" Mettaton shouts and claps his hands. "You can get your stuff when the cafeteria closes, which is in two hours." Three hours later, I come home with Jess and begin packing all my stuff. I start with a blanket and pillow, which were followed by the more necessary stuff, for example: my laptop and a charger for every electrical object I own. "I'll miss you." Jess says, entering my room and hugging me. "Make sure to take a ton of pictures okay?" "Promise." I smile and let go. "By the way, can you sit on my suitcase, it won't close." I say and sit down to close the suitcase with Jess on it. "Wait I have an idea, can I take you there? I can take Jake's car." Jess suggests with a smug look on her face. Oh I know what she's up to. "You do realize Mettaton has a boyfriend?" I grin and stand up. "I know! But I just want to see him so badly." Jess says with her famous puppy eyes. She grins at my face when she knows I gave in. "YES!" She yells and makes a victory dance. "Let's get you in a car then." Jess says and pulls you towards the exit of the apartment. "Yup. Let's go." ***** Bye? ***** I arrived with Jess at the nearly empty terrain. Undyne was awaiting us with a big grin plastered on her face and lead the both of us towards a field with three campers on it. "Jess right?" She asks my friend while walking there excitedly. "The one and only." She answers with a smile on her face. I honestly hope that Mettaton is there for her. That'd be amazing. Well or not, because she could just rip my arm off from fangirling unintentionally. The three of us eventually reached the field and were greeted by a stuttering Alphys, an almost dozing off, but smiling Sans and a hyperactive Papyrus. I looked at Jess, whose face turned sad for one second. She looked at me and smiles. "I'm gonna miss you girly." She says and hugs me tightly. I hugged back and sobbed a little. She had done so much for me. And now I would leave her for five months. "Hey I'm back in five months. I'm gonna miss you too Jesserific." I smile and let go of her. "Well I'll leave then. Have fun you guys! I enjoyed the show." Jess says and turns around. Suddenly, a loud firework explodes in the sky, causing our group to look up. "HELLO DARLINGS!" A voice said from behind the camper. Jess looks at me. Then at the camper, and then at me. I swear that she was clinging onto me in a second and grabbing me tightly. I shot Sans a look. He only smiled and pointed at Jessica. I look in her direction again, and see her face. She's sobbing. Mettaton comes out from behind the camper and walks to me and Jess. He shakes her hand and kisses her cheek. "Hello darling." Mettaton says. "M-Met.. Mettaton!" Jess says while not trying to sob or fangirl. She obviously failed and starts shaking. "Did you enjoy my show?" Mettaton says and kneels down for her. Fun fact: Jess is only 5'4 tall, which makes her quite small unlike me, I am 5'8, which Jess would describe as a 'Tall noodle' or 'a giant'. I decide to leave her with Mettaton and walk over to Sans. He grins and looks at me. "Did you arrange this?" I whisper. He nods and continues watching the snow. Jess is almost at breaking point I notice. "So darling, I have a special present for you." Mettaton says and strikes a dramatic pose. Yup, Jess is sobbing now. Alphys comes walking to Jess and hands her a big bag. "This, my darling is filled with all the upcoming merchandise." Jess nods and puts her hand to her mouth. "I hope you like it darling! I must go now! Goodbye!" Mettaton says and poses, before running away majestically. Jess breaks down while running to me and Sans. She pulls the two of us in a big hug and sobs in Sans' blue jacket. Sans seems to be cool with it and pat her back softly. "T-Thank y-you!" Jess says gratefully and looks at me. "Hey don't thank me, thank Sans. He arranged it." I say and look at Sans, whose cheekbones turn into a slight tint of blue. "Oh Sans.. C'mere!" Jess says and pulls him into a hug again. Sans laughs. When Jess pulls back, she dries her tears and looks at me and Sans. "Protect Alex okay? She's clumsy." I laugh and hit her playfully. "Well it's my time to go. Thanks. I'll call you every day okay?" Jess says and gives me one last hug. "Promise." I say. With that, she turns around and waves to the group. "Bye!" she says and walks away. "so.." Sans adds, trying to make conversation. "So boneboy?" I say and give him a nervous look. I'm all on my own now. Well, not own, but I honestly don't know what to do without Jess. "wanna see the camper?" He asks and grabs a suitcase. "Sure." I say and grab the other suitcase. Wow, only two suitcases with my shit in it. In one, were the clothes I owned, and in the other the more necessary stuff as in a laptop and all my chargers. Sans and I walk towards a (really) big, white camper. Sans unlocks it with the keys in his pocket and holds open the door. "ladies first." He says and let me go in first. My eyes widen when I see where I will stay for the time being. On the left, there is a two person's bed. On the right, there is a small kitchen, the bathroom and a really good looking couch. "Nice." I compliment him and drop my suitcase next to the couch. "want something to drink?" Sans offers and drops my suitcase next to the other. He walks to the kitchen. I accept and he pours two glasses of water. He returns and hands me one. "well this day was interesting." He chuckles. "Jesus yes." I agree and take a sip of my water. "I mean like I get a job, get to go on a tour with my friends and just what?" "how late is it anyway?" Sans asks suddenly and looks at me. "Dunno.. My phone is still in my suitcase." I explain and sit down on the couch. The couch is very soft and sits good at the same time. For short: Heaven. Sans takes out his phone and sees the time. "it's 3 am already. we'd better head to bed. you're still a newbie an you'll need your energy." He laughs and stands up to wash his glass and sets it in the cupboard again. "Good plan." I agree and stand beside him to wash mine and place it in the cupboard just like him. "wait can you drive?" Sans asks and looks at me hopefully. Oh right, he wants to switch driving with me so that he won't be exhausted all day. "Yup. You get the time to sit down on your bony ass for once." I laugh and begin searching for a pyjama in the suitcase. I look up when I see Sans walking in circles. "Something eating you?" "ugh, no.. I just have the feeling I forgot something to do but I can't get what?" He says and looks at me with an uncertain face. I laugh when I realize what it probably is. "Hmm.. Maybe you forgot to chat with your internetfriend?" I say and watch his expression turn to pure happiness. Sans laughs. "oh yeah right!" He walks off to the bedroom. "I'll give you some privacy here." Sans says and closes the door of the bedroom. I sigh and begin to undress. I pull out a shirt with a picture of an 8-bit heart out of the suitcase and some shorts and dress myself in it. Welp, 5 months sleeping on the couch, here we go! "I'm not naked anymore!" I shout and begin pulling out my sleeping bag out of the suitcase. Sans enters the room again. Suddenly, there is knocking on the door. "DID SOMEONE SAY NAKED?!" A very familiar fish lady voice says and enters the camper. oh. ***** Flesh and Bones may break a nose ***** Undyne quickly unlocks the door of the camper and sees me and Sans standing in or pajama's, heading for bed. "What? I thought I heard someone shouting about naked?" Undyne says and sends me a toothy grin. "Dude we were just changing calm the fuck down." I say and laugh it off. This girl.. I continue rolling out my sleeping bag and placing it on the couch. "Why isn't she sleeping in your bed Sansy?" Undyne teases Sans and comes into the camper. Sans just shrugs and laughs. "Oh sheet I haven't even asked her if she wanted to yet." He says and gives me a comedic wink. Undyne groans, unlike me, who just laughs unattractively. "Hey I'm pretty good in bed if I may say so." I say and elbow him. "I can sleep for days." I grin. Sans' laugh fills the room while Undyne groans again. "I swear to god looking at the two of you makes me want to puke." She says disgustedly and gives me a toothy grin. "Okay but the reason why I came here. We're making a campfire and you two could join if you two aren't too busy flirting." I blush and nod slowly, so does Sans. "I'm gonna keep my PJ's on though. don't feel like changing." Sans says and shrugs. "Whatever. Just go naked." Undyne responds sarcastically and laughs. "Well what are you two waiting for? Bring blankets and come outside." I look over at Sans, who is opening a cupboard and grabbing blankets out of it. He tosses one to me and signs we should follow her. When we arrive outside, Undyne is already walking to the fireplace, leaving us behind. "really though, I could take the couch." Sans suddenly says and looks at me "Nah it's fine." I quickly say and walk over to the fireplace. Apparently everyone was there, sitting on logs, roasting marshmallows and talking to each other. Sans and me sit over to the only log that is left. "O-Oh there you are!" Alphys says excitedly. "Why are you two in your pyjama's already? You know we do this every second day Sans." "kinda slipped my mind tibia honest. it has been a long and weird day." Sans says and gives Alphys the same comedic wink he had given you a few moments ago. She nods and leaves the two of you be. I stare at the fire and slowly get caught up in it. The fire just seems so hypnotizing somehow. I wrap the blanket around myself and find a comfortable position to sit at the log. You looked around and saw Mettaton and Papyrus being cute together. That also counts for Alphys and Undyne, who are cuddling each other silently. I smile at the sight and see Papyrus getting out of Mettatons grip. "I WANT TO TELL YOU ALL A STORY!" He suddenly shouts, which makes everyone look up at him. "THIS STORY IS ABOUT THE LEGENDARY SPAGHETTI!" And at realizing what he was about to say, you looked at Sans in terror. Sans shot you a fearful look and stood up. "haha how about we play truth or dare Paps? we'll leave that story for another time." Sans quickly says and sits down again. Papyrus gives him a puzzled but eventually gives in. "OKAY WE CAN PLAY TRUTH OR DARE!" The tall skeleton shouts and sits down as well. He smiles and leans at Mettaton again. Cute. "I WILL GO FIRST THEN!" Papyrus shouts enthusiastically. Thank god he saved Paps from his innocence being destroyed. Whatever the cost is. "SANS.. TRUTH OR DARE?" "truth." Papyrus thinks for a moment and hums. "WHO IS THE BEST BROTHER IN THE WORLD?" He asks and gives him a hopeful smile. Sans pretends to think for a second and taps his bony fingers on the logs, and then answers. "obviously you bro." He smiles and taps his fingers on the logs again. "NYEH HEH HEH I KNEW IT!" Papyrus shouts, making Mettaton jump. He probably was just dozing off. The poor robot. "kay. uh.. Alphys.. truth or dare." Sans lazily says and wraps his blanket around him as well. Alphys thinks for a moment and smiles. "I-I'll go with t-truth!" Sans thinks and laughs to himself evilly. Oh god what has he thought of now. "have you ever written a fanfiction about 'dyne where she doesn't know 'bout?" He smirks and looks at Alphys. Alphys is a red blushing mess right now. I laugh to myself and clap. "I-I-I- I d-d-did?" Alphys stutters and hides her face in her brown jacket. "Dude I have to see that now!" Undyne smiles at her with a toothy grin. She kisses her forehead and whispers something that makes them both stand up. "We're gonna read fanfiction about us for the rest of the night! Bye!" Undyne shouts as they are walking to their camper. "I think we should go too Papy~" Mettaton smirks seductively and grabs Papyrus shirt to pull him into a kiss. I look over to Sans, then his fingers who are practically caving into the wood. I smile and lay my hand on his shoulder to calm him down. He looks at me and smiles back. We are basically watching his brother and boyfriend make out now. "W-we should take this somewhere else." Mettaton says and picks Papyrus up. "Toodles!" He says and runs off. "Well it's only us now I suppose." I say quietly and watch the fire again. "you tired?" Sans asks and looks at me with a smile. "Nah not yet. I'm used to go sleeping around six." I say and look at him back. "Good job saving Pap's innocence by the way. What would have happened if he said kinky in front of Undyne and Alphys?" I laugh. "dunno. Hell would probably break loose." He answers and gets an idea. "hey I'm gonna get something really quick kay?" He says and stands up. You nod as he walks away to the camper. Is he going to kiss himself now? Okay no that is weird Alex what the hell. I just keep staring at the campfire until Sans comes back with a.. Guitar? "got it." He says and sits down next to you again. This time, with a guitar. He begins playing some accords and then sings. "Flesh and bones may break a nose, and your puns, they really kill me. Flesh and b-o-o-o-ones may break a nose but your puns, they really kill me." He sung. You laughed and clapped. "Did you just make that up?" I ask and look at him, smiling. "nope. I just thought of it today and wanted to type it in the chat, but I figured this was better. well.. not really better because I can't sing but anyways.." "Wow, wow, wow. Just stop there a moment. You can sing really well." I encourage him. A baby blue tint was plastered on his face now. "ugh how did I deserve this?" He says and looks at the fire. "I mean like you are coming on tour now. instead of spending five minutes together, we get to spend five whole months together!" "Hey if it wasn't for you, I'd be sitting in my apartment, being just another insomniac and drinking coffee to keep me awake. "Thanks." ***** Tour life ***** I awaken and immediately notice the breath of someone else in my ear. I open my eyes and notice that it was light outside already. Wait, I am outside. I then notice the pressure on my chest and see a certain skeleton laying on it with his eyes closed and snoring. His legs were tangled with mine and he has his arms wrapped around my shoulders as he is laying on my boobs. Great, the two of you had fallen asleep at the campfire and somehow slept like this? Well I actually thought the couch was fine but whatever. I suddenly hear a snicker coming from behind me and try to turn my head around. Of course I see Undyne and Alphys trying to hold their laughs. I give them the 'help me' look. They shake their heads and sit down on a log. Whatever, I'll do this myself. I try to get his body off me, but his grip is too tight and he only shakes his head a bit, being comfortable in my chest. Well this is not helping. "Sans?" I call out, trying to get him awake. I don't get a response so I look at Undyne and Alphys again. They both have their phones out and are taking pictures. "Guys can you help me for a sec?" I say to them, hoping they would hear the fear of waking him up and being all awkward in my voice. They shake their heads again and laugh quietly at themselves. "Sans?" I try again. This isn't going to work or is it? He certainly is a heavy sleeper. I now notice I'm lying directly next to the campfire. The warmth is still coming off it, while it isn't burning. "Sans?" I say again, somewhat louder. The giggles of the couple behind you get louder as well. "Sans!" I now shout. He awakens and moves his head in your breasts and sees where he actually is: On top of me. "u-uh oh god." He says and quickly gets off me. I get up as well and am not ready to look at him already. "sorry for that." Sans apologizes and shrugs. "though, that was the breast night sleep yet on this tour." He grins and pushes his hands in his pockets. I snicker. "You're unbelievable." I say and turn to Alphys and Undyne. They laugh as they see your face. "Well we have great pictures now. We'll leave and let the two of you be!" Undyne says and picks Alphys like the night before and runs away. "Do they do that often?" I ask Sans and turn his way again. "the pictures or the picking up and running away?" Sans asks and sits down on the log again. "Both?" I ask and hear my stromach rumble. Probably because I havent even eaten breakfast yet. "yes and yes. by the way, wanna get something to eat?" He asks and stands up. He holds out a bony hand which you gladly take and walk towards his camper. Is it our camper now? I wonder.. The two of us enter the camper and walk over to the kitchen. "so.. want bread or something?" He asks awkwardly and tosses you the sac with bread in it. "Sure." I say and grab a slice of bread out of the sac and return it to Sans. "have any toppings you like?" He asks. This is my moment to shine. "Oh those are the yeast of my worries." I say and imitate the comedic wink Sans always gives me. He snickers. "I like peanut butter." I say and get handed the peanut butter. After that you have eaten, you dress up for a new day. By dress up I mean sweatpants, and by new day I mean that we have to ride for almost the whole day. Tour life. Mettaton eventually announces everyone is free to go the next location. Sans and me are the first to go. We talked about this while eating breakfast and came up with a rather amazing plan. I would first drive for an hour, and Sans would sleep. Then Sans would drive for an hour and I would sleep. We will repeat those steps until we are there and be the fittest couple there. Wait.. not a couple. Friendly couple. I sit at the drivers seat and put the key in the keyhole in order to start the car. "By the way, I packed a shit ton of books in the bag with the important shit in it!" I shout, unaware of Sans' location. "the blue one right?" He asks back. "Yeah the blue one!" I shout once again and begin driving off the terrain. "got it! Harry Potter and the philosophers stone here I come!" Sans excitedly says and probably is off to reads on his bed. Fun fact: I can actually see Sans reading in the mirror of the car. I hope we don't die because I'm existentially looking at him. I grin and ride onto a highway. I'm getting followed by Undyne's camper I notice while adjusting the car mirrors. Welp. All pressure is on me now. I yawn and drink a bit of my coffee. Oh hell we will be in for a long ride. But yeah, that's tour life for ya. ***** Shark movies ***** Finally it was my turn to doze off for a hour while Sans is driving the carvan. I practically let myself fall on his bed and feel something moving. Little snoring sounds come from the white thing and I immediately remember he has a cat. The white cat moves to my belly and makes little purrs as I stroke his fur. I quickly fall asleep after a while with taco still with me. After approximately a hour, I was being woken up by a deep voice. "make room. it's your turn." Sans yawns and jumps in bed beside me. I yawn as well and stand up to get some coffee first and then take my place on the drivers seat. This proces continued for about five times before stopping by a restaurant with the rest of the group including Undyne, Alphys, Papyrus, Sans and me. Mettaton couldn't come for some reason. Probably paparazzi. I walk to Sans to get him out of bed again. "Boneboy wake up. We're gonna get something to eat." I say and shake him lightly. He groans and places the pillow over his skull. "five more minutes." He grumbles. "Not today sleepybones! I'm hungry." I say and pull his arm. "okay okay. jeez woman." A while later, the five of you are in a restaurant. Just a simple one with simple food. The waitress comes walking towards us and smiles. "What can I get y'all?" She asks and smiles really forced. She probably doesn't like monsters but has to smile from her boss. Welp, deal with it. "NYEH! CAN I GET SPAGHETTI MISS?" Papyrus shouts which shocks the waitress a bit. She soon recovers with the forced smile and writes it down. "C-Can I g-get a club s-sandwich w-with chicken?" Alphys orders and looks at Undyne. "The same for me!" Undyne says and slams the table with her fist, which also shocks the waitress. "Okay.. And what do you two want to eat?" She politely asks while scribbling their orders down on the little notepad she held in her left hand. "Oh uh.. For me the club sandwich with smoked salmon." I order and smile as she writes my order down. The waitress looks at Sans who is grinning. "I'll have what the pretty lady is having." Sans says and points his finger guns at me. He winks and I giggle a bit. "Dude you two are so shamelessly flirting it's making me sick." Undyne whines and lays a shoulder around Alphys. "Well I can always eat your sandwich as you are apparently sick." I say back and grin. Sans bends over the table to give me a high five. I high five back and laugh. Undyne is giving me a little smile as well. "SO WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO MARRY?" Papyrus asks Undyne and Alphys. Alphys is practically glowing bright red while Undyne is grinning mad. "I don't know. Alphys, when are we gonna marry?" Undyne asks and kisses her cheek. Their relationship is goals. "M-m-m-marry?" Alphys nervously asks and hides her face in her sweater. A few minutes later the food arrives and I thank the waiter. I take a huge bite of my sandwich and hum in approvement. The others are beginning to eat their food as well. Papyrus frowns at the spaghetti and takes a bite. "Not as good as mine I'm afraid." Papyrus mumbles. He can actually mumble? I chuckle and eat the rest of my sandwich. Later back in the caravan Sans decides to drive the last part which only consists of a few miles. I just sit in the passenger seat and talk to him until we arrive. "Want coffee?" I ask and stand up, deciding I already need more caffeine in my system. He nods but keeps his eyes still on the road. He's actually a pretty good driver. I make coffee for myself and him and walk back to the passenger seat and place the cups in the cup holders. Late at night, we finally arrive and begin heading for bed as someone knocks on the door. "DARLINGS~?" A rather familiar voice says. I open the door and see the one and only Mettaton standing in the doorway. "Sup." I casually say. How the fuck am I even supposed to communicate with him? He's a superstar and my boss? Mettaton holds up a big paper sac and poses in the doorway. The sac is much like the one he got for Jess, only bigger. "I have got your working clothes!" He says and winks flirtatiously. Ew. I take the sac and smile at him. "Thanks!" I say politely. How to communicate with him. Send me a tutorial of it please. "No problem darling! I will go now, Papy dear misses me~" He says and walks off. Sans comes to stand beside me and mimics himself puking. "How come you don't like him though?" I ask as he is getting up from the ground. "I just don't really trust him with my bro. I dunno." He casually says and jumps on the couch, at the place where my sleeping bag is laying. Taco also joins him by laying on his ribcage. Sans lazily smiles and strokes the white fur of the cat. He yawns as Taco jumps off him and comes walking to me. "wanna head to bed?" Sans proposes and looks at me. "Nah, not very tired. I have gotten like five hours of sleep during the day." I say and shake my head lightly. I walk to my suitcase and unpack my trusty laptop. "I'll just watch some Netflix until I fall asleep." I say and get in the sleeping bag. "cool. I'll join." Sans says and sits beside me. "waddaya wanna watch?" He says as I am logging into Netflix. "I don't know.. A movie or something." I say and click on random movies until I have found the perfect one. "Ever seen sharknado?" I smirk. Sans shakes no and I click on the movie. Well let's watch a movie about sharks and tornadoes then. ***** Trapped ***** I woke up by the soft paws of a cat walking on my stromach. I had apparently fallen asleep on Sans (again), while watching Sharknado. I open my eyes and see Sans still sleeping. My head is leaning on his shoulder and the laptop we were watching Netflix on is tossed beside me. I stroke the cat's fur and eventually end up grabbing the cat because Sans just refuses to wake up. I place Taco on the floor and go to grab some cat food from the fridge. I put the cat food into a bowl and place it on the ground next to the opening to Sans' bedroom. Speaking about Sans, what would he like to eat for breakfast though? Does he even eat? Does he need to eat? Well I sure as hell need to eat, so I pour myself a bowl with cereal which I find in a cupboard. The cereal box was already opened, so I figured Sans eats cereal. Rocket science with Alex everyone. I pour Sans too, a bowl of cereal and put milk in both of the bowls. Soon, my journey to find spoons begins. I notice a drawer and open it, to find the cutlery neatly placed in it. I would have thought it would be in random places actually. What the hell Sans.. "mornin'" Sans says while creeping up behind me. I jump a little and almost hit him with a spoon in the face. "Sans what the hell." I laugh and hand him the bowl. "I don't know if you eat, but here is cereal." "look out who you're hitting though. you will become a cereal killer if you don't be careful." Sans says and gives me a playful wink and sits on the couch. I open the curtains before sitting on the couch as well and opening my laptop. Way to be social with your friend. Good job. Sans also grabs his laptop and sighs. "my laptop is so slow it hertz." He says and looks at me, awaiting my reaction. I snicker and continue browsing trough tumblr while attempting to eat as well. When we both finished our food, we headed over to the camper of Undyne and Alphys. When we arrived and the door opened, my eyes widened. The room is filled with anime posters, figurines, big swords and manga. I try to say something, but have issues moving my mouth. "Like what you see punk?" Undyne says and grabs my arm to pull me in. Sans lazily smiles and enters as well. "So are we setting up again?" Undyne asks Sans. He nods yes. "Oh I think I can help!" I say. Okay what did I get myself into. I'm not strong nor do I have telekinetic powers. Fuck. "nah, maybe you can help Pap with shopping. he'll enjoy the company." Sans says and sticks his hands in his pockets. Saved by the skeleton again. I nod and sit down next to Alphys. "D-Do you want some tea?" Alphys asks. I nod and smile. She's so nervous, it's cute. Though, she doesn't have to be. I don't bite. Alphys hands me tea after it's cooked and Undyne and Sans sit down as well. "Oh babe?" Undyne asks Alphys, gaining her attention immediately. "Can we speak about the thing.. outside?" She asks her and winks. Okay I don't trust this. Alphys nods quickly and quickly leaves the caravan with Undyne. "what was that 'bout?" Sans asks and lays down on the couch. He's clearly as confused as me. "Dunno." I answer and wait for the two to come back. This takes longer than expected, so I stand up and walk to the front door. I try to open it, but I soon notice it is locked. What? "It's locked..?" I say in confusion. Sans also stands up and tries to open the door as well. "jeez. they locked it." "Well yes no shit Sherlock." I say sarcastically and let myself fall on the yellow couch again. "Why would they lock it though? More importantly, my laptop is still in our camper." "dunno. i guess we will have to wait 'till they come back or something." Sans says and walks to the small kitchen to get something to drink. He opens the fridge and groans. "there's no food what do we do?" "Seems like cannibalism is the only option." I say and grin. Isn't there a laptop or phone to borrow? Thinking about it, my phone is still in there too. "i first have to get some meat on my bones then. oh wait i found their cookies. want some?" Sans asks and comes back with a jar of cookies. I nod and take one out. Sans closes the lid after he takes one himself and walks to the shelf with various manga in it. "heh. they spend all their money on these things." He says and takes one out. He sits on the couch and opens the comic. "how am i supposed to read this anyway?" I sit next to him and explain how to read manga. I stand up myself and inspect the huge collection of manga they have. I eventually end up picking 'Death Note' and read it. After quite a while, we both get bored and try desperately to open the caravan. I walk to a window and open the curtains, to see Undyne and Alphys grinning just around the corner of the caravan. "Sans look at this." I say and point to the window. He looks up from his manga and peeks trough the curtains when he reaches the window. "we have to get revenge." Sans smirks. "Yeah." I smirk back. Sans walks to the wall they are probably still standing against and slams on the wall. "OH ALEX!" He shouts and makes very loud moans. I laugh and end up rolling on the floor. "help their reaction is gonna be great." He whispers. I stand up and began slamming against the wall as well. "SANS HARDER HARDER YES" I moan. Friendship goals I guess? This continues for a good five minutes when I hear the lock being unlocked. "ALEX IM COMING..." Sans says and walks to the door. "to meet the two people who locked us in here." He grins as Undyne and Alphys walk in, with camera and all. Okay this is very wrong. I laugh at their confused faces. "B-But h-has my ship sailed yet?" Alphys stutters and lays down the camera on the small coffee table. "dunno 'bout that. but your ship has eaten your cookies." Sans answers smoothly. Well that was fun. Being trapped almost half of the morning by a lizard and fish monster. Now, let's get back to my one and only laptop and spend the day browsing trough the internet. ***** Nightmare ***** The day had eventually ended. It had consisted of being trapped in a camper with Sans and I went shopping for a shit ton of noodles and tomatoes with Papyrus. I am currently dressing into an oversized shirt with the triforce on it. I unhook my bra and swap my black skinny jeans for black sweatpants. I had already wished Sans a good night, so I could just sleep right away. Who knew that talking to Pap and being trapped could be so exhausting? I got into my sleeping bag and positioned myself well on the couch. After a little while, I fell asleep.   I was in the same living room again. My stepdad with a knife in his hand, and my mother with a huge cut in her arm. My stepdad could be just an ordinary dad, taking the family to the beach or to a restaurant. But he had this nasty mood changes which often occurred. One of them, was now. I stepped in the middle of my parents and told them to stop fighting. My stepdad didn't even listen and threw me on the ground, shoving me against a wall and attacked mom. I quickly grabbed the phone and ran to the bathroom and locked the door. I dialed 911 and soon help was send. I heard my dad scream at my mom when I came out of the bathroom. My brother eventually comes racing in and tries to hold my stepdad back. He spat on him and pulled the boy up, using his hair. The man smirked and stabbed the child. I screamed and saw white, blue and red lights lit the room.   I awaken again, cold sweat is streaming down my face. The same nightmare over and over again. I have been having these for almost five years now. I wipe the sweat off my forehead, using the sleeping bag and got out of it to get some water from the kitchen. I fill a glass and see a blue glow coming from Sans' room. Should I go in? Fuck it. I walk trough the opening and see a lamp floating. Sans is spinning and turning in his bed. He is probably having a nightmare too. Poor guy. "Sans?" I say, trying to wake him up. He didn't, so I set my glass on the nightstand and quickly get a glass of water for him for when he wakes up. "Sans? Wake up!" I say, now louder. He still didn't wake up. I shake his shoulders lightly. "Sans?" His eye sockets shoot open. One of them is lit with a blue flame, and the other one is completely dark. The lamp crashes on the nightstand. He has a terrified expression on his face. I smile at him and sit down on the bed and give him the glass with water. "It's okay. I'm here now, it was a nightmare." I reassure him and smile. "t-thanks." He says and sighs. "how come you were awake though?" Sans asks and sets the empty glass down on the nightstand. He lays down again and hugs a pillow. "I had one too." I simply say. "Are you okay now?" "think so." He says. "I'll go then. Night boneboy." I say and head to my trusty couch. "wait.. can you maybe stay?" Sans suddenly says. "Sure." I answer and grab my pillow and get in his bed. I now note it's quite soft, though I have lain plenty of times on it. "ya sure you're okay with this?" Sans asks. "like, we're not gonna be weird 'bout it?" "I'm fine." I reassured. I slowly eased myself under the covers. A few minutes ticked by. I already felt warm and shaky. I could already tell Sans was asleep from his steady breathing. Breathing. I actually never noticed that he breathed before. It makes sense. He could eat. And blink. And do other human things. I wonder if it is a subconscious act like in humans, or if he could live without it. I watch the lump in the covers rise and fall. When I listen closely I could also hear a soft hum, almost like static, accompany the rise and fall of his breathing. I wonder if that is his magic. My face felt very warm. I am so close to him. I inched a tiny bit more towards him, doing my best not to wake him or be weird about this. My heartbeat felt deafening to me. It pounded in my ears. Thump. Thump. Thump. I hope he couldn't hear it the way I could hear him. I don't want to let myself unravel. I really like being his friend, and if that's all I'd be –my heart ached at the thought– then that was okay. I shifted so I was on my side, facing him, and I let his steady breath and static hum lull me to sleep. ***** Yet another awkward moment for the list ***** Waking up cuddled next to Sans in bed was much different than waking up cuddled next to him on the couch or him laying on top of me next to a campfire. For one thing, he was actually in the bed. And another thing, on the couch, the touching was mostly limited to his arm resting around my waist. What I was not expecting when I woke up here was Sans's face pressing into the crook of my neck, his leg wrapping itself around my thighs, and his hand cupping my breast and pulling me into him. I actually didn't expect him to be a cuddler. Damn. It was really cute. Honestly, I was kind of half expecting myself to be in his position with my tangled up in his ribcage or something. But...this is nice. I close my eyes to get a few more minutes of sleep. ... WAIT. My eyes flew open and my drowsiness disappeared now that I realize what an incredibly compromising position I am in. Sans' hands are holding my boobs. I start to squirm as my face reddened. Should I try and get out of his grip or should I pretend to be asleep until he wakes up and realizes what he is doing? Sans could probably sleep forever, so option two was out. I try to gently push his leg off mine, but it wouldn't budge. How is he so strong? I continue to squirm and I tried to pry his hand off my chest, interlacing his fingers with mine. Twitch. I pause and hold my breath. Please. Do. Not. Wake. Up. Nothing. Phew. I try moving his hand again. "what're ya doin?" he mumbled. "Um." His fingers twitch and brush against my nipple. I could feel him stiff behind me. I cautiously turn my head so I am facing him. His pupils had shrunken to tiny pinpricks and his gaze flickered between my eyes and my hand over his hand over my breast. "DID MY PICK UP LINES WORK THAT GOOD?" I blurt. Idiot. He pulls back his hand and unhooks his leg as if my skin is burning him. "sorry." He quickly apologizes. "i didn't mean-" "It's all right. You were sleeping." I say as he is quickly getting out of bed. Yet another moment to add to my awkward moment list. He scratches his skull and stands there awkwardly. I get up as well. "do you wanna have breakfast?" Sans asks awkwardly, walking to the kitchen and getting out two bowls as I nod a yes. I walk to the oh so called living room, and get some clothes which were still in my suitcase to wear for the day. I should really get a closet or something. Oh well.. I get my clothes and get into the bathroom to change. My outfit consisted of a black pair of skinny jeans and a knotted beige sweater. I step out of the bathroom and get the bowl of cereal that is standing on the coffee table. I sit next to Sans, since he is watching Steven Universe. That's my shit right there. This episode was one of the first ones in the season, which I of course knew by heart. "Is this your first time watching Steven Universe?" I ask Sans. "yup. really like it so far. frisk suggested it to me." He answers and eats a spoonful of cereal. After a while, when two episodes had passed, we both finished our cereal. There was excited knocking on the door, so I decide to open it. In front of me, was Papyrus, smiling as always. "HELLO HUMAN ALEX! IS SANS THERE AS WELL?" He asks, no, rather shouts. "dunno paps. am I here or is life just an illusion?" Sans smirks and appears behind me. Papyrus looks at him questioningly and continues. "METTATON WANTS YOU BOTH TO MEET THE AUDIO AND SOUND GUYS!" Papyrus grabs my arm and pulls me out of the camper gently. He actually carries me on his back to where backstage soon should be. Sans follows and smirks at my confused face. Believe it or not, but I have the ability to walk. "You must be Sans and Alex." A voice behind us says. When Papyrus turns around, I fall of him and quickly stand up. Damn I feel small with all these big monsters here. The man who recognized us, looks at us kindly. "the one and only." Sans answers and gives him a lazy grin. "Very well. Mettaton wanted you to meet us or something. I don't exactly know why, but here we are." Another man says and does the Jazz hands. "I'm Jeremy." A man with shaved brown hair says and shakes my hand. I nod and smile. "Alex." Another man with dirty blonde hair shakes my hand and smiles. "I'm Patrick." The third man with long brown hair shakes my hand, but doesn't smile that much. "I'm Bacchus" He says and steps back. When he shakes Sans' hand, he looks rather disgusted. Rude. The other two introduce themselves as well. They are twins with red hair. "I'm Harley and that's Hayden." One says. I'm probably just gonna call them the wrong name so there isn't really a point in introducing themselves. "Well it was good meeting you. What do we do now?" I ask rather awkwardly. Stop. Acting. Awkwardly. "I don't know. We met I guess. We have to get back to work though last moment things have to be done." Presumably the leader, Harley says. Sans and I walk away from the group. "so we have like six hours for ourselves. what do you wanna do?" He says and walks forward on the grassy terrain. "Well we can stay inside and watch a show or something?" I suggest. Wow I'm an introvert. "sure." Sans says and grabs my hand. Suddenly, everything is turning and twisting and I have the feeling of falling. Then, we are in our camper. I look at him confusedly. "W-What was that?" "oh I forgot to tell you that I can manipulate space and time. no biggie." He says and walks into his bedroom to get blankets. He can.. Jesus. "You are joking." I state and sit down. "dunno.. am I?" He asks and smirks. Suddenly, my back is on the plafond of the camper. "don't think I am pal." I want to say something, but I'm just too amazed. He can teleport, manipulate gravity and has telekinetic powers. Damn, I have a cool friend ***** Let the bodies hit the floor ***** Sans and I were only finishing our show when someone knocked on the door. "I'll open it." I say and walk towards the door. I open it and see Undyne with a big grin on her face. "Ready to make spaghetti punk?!" She says and grabs my arm to pull my outside. Sans appears outside too using teleporting. Yup, that is my job. Making an unbelievably big amount of Spaghetti on the nights Mettaton is performing. Mettaton performance had just started, so we had enough time to make it. I look at Sans, who has a weird look on his face. He looks like he is deep in thought, thinking about something. "Sup?" I ask and see him look at me confusedly. "Something bothering you?" "don't worry 'bout it." He says and waves it off. We enter the kitchen and begin taking out the stuff Papyrus and I brought at the store. Papyrus waves at us, already fetching plates and cutlery to set on the table when the show ends. Sans and I begin chopping up tomatoes as Papyrus boils the noodles. "Really though, what's bothering you?" I try again. I'm worried. "If this is about today in the morning, I don't care, you were sleeping." I bring up. Shit wait did I have to bring that up? Again, something I regret saying is added to the list. "nah it's not 'bout that." he says and grins. Okay.. well I still regret bringing it up. "WHAT HAPPENED IN THE MORNING?" Undyne suddenly says, creeping up behind us. I tense up at her touch. I look at her and she grins. "Something happened eh? Care to tell aunty Undyne?" Sbe says and tickles me. "Aunty?" I laugh. "kinky." Sans comments and continues to chop up tomatoes. "NYEH I HEARD ABOUT THAT!" Papyrus suddenly blunts. Fuck no. "What?" Undyne asks Papyrus and stops tickling me. "KINKY!" Papyrus shouts and looks right into the eyes of Undyne. "THE LEGENDARY SPAGHETTI MONSTER!" He says in all seriousness. "JUST A FEW PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT THIS LEGEND, BUT I TRUST YOU WITH THIS SECRET. ALEX TOLD ME ABOUT IT." Is this a good moment to laugh, or to cry? I look at sans, whose eyesockets are completely dark. "uh paps. will you not tell people about the legend? it's really special." He says and returns to wearing his usual grin. "CAN UNDYNE JOIN OUR KINKY CULT?" He shouts. Luckily, there is no one else in this building. Oh god. Undyne is on the edge of laughing. "Alex, will you c-come outside for a bit?" She asks and picks me up, storming outside. Undyne sets me down and a howling laughter is followed. "HAHAHA THE KINKY CULT?" She laughs. I cringe a bit and look at her rolling over the wet grass. "WHAT EVEN IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH SANS?" Undyne says and recovers from laughing. "We're just friends." I simply say. "And you're in a kinky cult with Pap and Sans?!" She says and looks at me intensely. "It was just a way to protect the innocence of Pap. By the way, knowing him, you're in our kinky cult as well." I say and wiggle my eyebrows. "I'll get to the bottom of this." She says and walks inside again. I follow inside and stand besides Sans again, who's still chopping up tomatoes. "how did it go?" He whispers. "Fine. She said she will get to the bottom of this." I whisper back and grab my knife again. "the bottom of what?" He says and shoves the cutten tomatoes into a bowl. "Our nonexisting relationship and the cult." I simply whisper back and finish the tomatoes. "it could be existing." Sans says and nudges me with his elbow. "Dork." "you want this skeleass and you know it." He teases. Well what if I want it huh? "Dream on skeledude." I say back and flip my hair dramatically. "when I look in your eyes I sure feel like I'm dreaming." He says out loud and immediately slaps his hand before his mouth. I laugh a little too hard at his expression, immediately summoning a grinning Undyne behind you. "You two should date." She grins. We should. "We are just friends give it up fishlady." I say and stick my tongue out at Undyne. "I'm gonna plan a date for you two." She says and runs away. Okay what. Suddenly, there is a loud sound of an explosion, which makes plates fall off the counter. I storm out the kitchen, grabbing the sleeves of Sans and Papyrus and dive under a table. The earth is shaking and loud screams are heard. "W- WHAT IS THIS?" Papyrus shouts over the sound of the explosion. When the earth stops shaking, I come out under the table and look out of the window. Tons of people are storming towards the cafeteria and I see fire. "Guys.. Come see this." I say with a trembling voice. An explosion? "what happened?" Sans says, slightly terrified. "I don't know. But it's bad." I say again. Sans lays his arm over my shoulder in a protective way. "S-SANS I'M SCARED." Papyrus says and hugs him, taking away the protective arm. Undyne comes storming in with a terrified look on her face. "Guys? There has been an explosion. It's looking really bad." ***** Calming the crowd (and sans) ***** "An explosion? What do you mean?" I stammer and look at Undyne's confused face. "I don't know, maybe a terrorist attack or a bomb. Maybe both. I have to make sure everyone is all right. Stay in here and help people you three." Undyne explained and ran out of the building. I look outside again and see tons of people running towards the cafeteria with a shocked expression on their face. Sans grabs my and tightly and looks outside, seeing the flames as well. "this is really bad." He says and looks at me. "SANS WHAT SHOULD WE DO?" Papyrus panics. The door opens and people storm in. Everyone is panicking, including the skeletons. I let go of Sans' hand and get him to help me up a table. "Everyone, listen." I say calmly. I don't even get looked at by the crowd. "EVERYONE! LISTEN!" I now yell louder. This time, everyone looks at me and is silent. "Help out the wounded, if there are any. Help will soon arrive and don't forget to remain calm. You all are safe now." I say. I hope we are safe though. The crowd eases up. Papyrus runs to the kitchen to get the spaghetti. "HUMANS CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION?" Papyrus shouts over the crowd. "I- WE HAVE MADE SPAGHETTI, IF YOU WANT ANY OF THIS GREAT SENSATION, YOU WILL HAVE TO GRAB IT WITH YOUR HANDS BECAUSE UNFORTUNATELY, OUR PLATES ARE BROKEN." He says and places a giant pan of spaghetti on the table. Everyone seems hesitant to eat it, but they eventually give in and eat the spaghetti with their hands. "humans are weird." Sans whispers to me. I snicker and watch the crowd devouring the large pan we had made. A while later, the police came and told everyone to go home. They asked everyone a couple of questions and eventually left. The bomb had killed no one, because the terrain was empty because it exploded in break. They weren't sure if it was a terrorist, but there would be more investigating. So right now, Sans and I are cleaning up the kitchen. We had told Papyrus to go to bed and rest. We were insomniacs anyway. Why not clean up 200 broken plates? "I told you 'bout timelines right?" Sans suddenly says and looks at me. "Yeah? What about it?" I ask him and look at him as well. Our eyes meet and we both quickly look away. "there was a bomb as well in a timeline. the terrorist was never found though." "So you are saying this happened before?" I say and look at him again. He is still dusting shards. "well not all of it. I never met you in all these timelines on the first hand. I went on tour though. there was this bomber, a terrorist the police had said. Undyne, Alphys and I wanted to get to the bottom of these bombings. don't exactly know the reason tough. long story short, Undyne and Alphys died in an explosion and Frisk reset again. that's actually the farthest I've ever come in this world." He says with a sad expression. Can I just wrap him in a hug and comfort him right now? Wait, I can. Let's do it. So I walk towards him, careful not to step into a shard and wrap him into a warm hug. He sobs into my sweater a bit. I pat him carefully on his back. "Was that the thing you were thinking about earlier?" I ask but still don't let go. Skeleton hugs are the best actually. "the nightmare I had was also about it. I was wondering if it would happen. I thought not, timelines frequently change. guess I was wrong after all." He shrugs. I let go and give him a symphatic smile "You know that you can always talk to me about anything right?" I say and grab my duster again. "yeah.. I really should do that more. t's nice to get things off my ribs." I laugh a bit. After cleaning up, we walk to our camper tiredly. I open it and get my pyjama's. Sans walks into his room to change as well. After redressing, I quickly walk over to the kitchen and get some water for the both of us. He comes into the room again and gladly accepts the glass. "I'm so tired." Sans complains. "You are always tired what are you talking about." I chuckle and set the glass into the dishwasher. Sans grabs the sleeve of my pajamas and pulls me lightly into his bedroom. "wanna cuddle?" He asks and looks away with a blue tint on his face. "Sure why not?" I accept and let him be the big spoon. This is nice. And I wouldn't change that for a bit. Until a second explosion erupts ***** Mettaton™ Potions™ ***** Sans immediately tenses up behind me when he hears the second explosion. "jesus christ another one?" He asked no one in particular. "Fucking hell." I mutter and get out of bed to open the curtains Sans had carefully closed earlier. I only see a faint orange glow coming from the stage. Shit. I quickly run and get a sweater in order to not freeze to death and quickly run towards the terrain. I look around and see flames. Everywhere. "A-Alex!" Someone shouts after me. I turn around to see a crying Alphys running towards me. "What happened?" I ask her. "I was j-just there! I watched the explosion. N-No one was t-there." She says shocked. "Are you all right?" I ask Alphys and look up to give her a kind smile. "N-Not really. I'm r-really shocked. N-no one was in there t-though. C- Could it be they w-wanted m-me?" She asks sobbing. Eventually, Alphys breaks down on my shoulder and I stroke her head awkwardly. "PUNKS ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?" Undyne says while she comes running to the two of us. "Baby what happened?" Undyne asks Alphys and hugs her, leaving me with a wet shoulder. "I-I was w-watching." Alphys stutters and sobs in the leather jacket Undyne was wearing. "It's okay Al." Undyne reassures her and wraps her arms around Alphys. "alex! are you okay?" Sans shouts while, surprisingly, running. I stick up my thumb and look at Alphys concernedly. Sans wraps me in a hug and looks at me. "don't go runnin' our like that. there could be a third bomb right where we stand." He says with a concerned face. "Someone cares for their girlfriend!" Undyne grins. I give her a look, still being wrapped in the arms of Sans. "He's not my boyfriend!" I protest. Sans just lazily grins. "Oh good." Undyne says and picks me up. She easily shakes the skeleton hugging me off. "hey give her back, she's my waifu!" Sans protests. I blush and get set on the ground again. "You two should totally date!" Alphys joins in. Okay how am I gonna respond. Tsundre? Laugh it off? Heck, we should date. "do you know what we should do? call the firefighters 'cus this place will burn off otherwise." He changes the subject and takes out his phone. "hey policepants... yes this is Sans... yes another explosion... five minutes? fine with me... okay see you." He says and hangs up. "Who's policepants?" I ask and grin. "oh someone from the underground. he's cool." He answers and sticks his hands in his pockets. "we'll let the police handle this one. imma go to bed." Sans announces and walks back to the camper. "I'll come with." I say and loud giggles erupt from the ladies behind me. I swear to god. In the morning, I was still cuddling with Sans when someone knocked on the door. I yawn and get up to answer it, but Sans pushes me down again. "lemme handle this one." He says in a sleepy tone and gets up. This normal grin appears and he opens the door. "oh hey Al." "H-Hey Sans. I wanted to ask you something. Alex too by the way, where is she?" Alphys says and comes inside the camper. I get up and walk into the oh so called living room. "Morning." I say and greet her. "Y-You two slept in the s- same bed?" Alphys stutters and a crazy smirk appears on her face. The one Jess would have when she had her so called 'fangirl attack'. Wait.. "yeah. friends can cuddle right?" Sans says and walks to the kitchen to get something to drink. "Anyway, w-will you guys test something for me?" The lizard asks and opens her leather bag and reveals two bottles with a pink substance in it. "what does it do? looks like a love potion for all I care." Sans asks and sits on the couch. "W-Well when Mettaton gets sick, he wanted to have a stand in. S-so i made this p-potion which basically switches the-" She stopped and looked anxiously at the two pink bottles. "Basically, why it's pink, Mettaton insisted, so I did some food dye in it. It should taste like strawberry." Alphys says and looks at me hopefully. "sure. I'll do it if Alex is in." Sans says and lays back on the couch. He strokes Taco's fur and grins at the cat. "If it will help you out, I guess I'll do it?" I answer. Fuck, wait. She didn't even explain what I'm in for. Bad idea. Probably magic. I will either die or fall in love with Sans because it's a love potion. "Y-Yay!" Alphys cheers. "Sans where are your glasses?" She asks. Sans points to the upper cupboard (which I cant reach) and grabs two plastic cups. "I n-need you to sit facing each other and l-looking each other in the eyes when you drink the cup at the same time." Alphys explains. "Still sure it isn't some love potion?" I laugh and jump on the couch, making Taco jump off instantly. "Y-Yes I made it myself, I'm quite sure haha." Alphys laughs and hands the two of us the glasses. "I'm gonna count from three to one. At one, you two drink the potion at the same time and stare in each others eyes as you swallow it." She says. "No further questions?" Alphys asks. We both don't react and stare at the pinkish drink. "Okay then.. Tree.. Two.. One.." She counts. We swallow and look at each other intensely before passing out. ***** More and more embarrassing moments for the list (or Sans' list, it's complicated) ***** Waking up, I didn't remember having no flesh. I neither remember wearing shorts and being a skeleton. Before me, was me? I am seeing myself. What is this. "What?" I stammer and immediately notice that I'm speaking in a deep tone. Alex, me(?) is also examining her hands and body. "what the hell?" She says in her tone. But I'm Alex? "wait Alex, is that you in my body?" He, no, she stutters in disbelief. "I guess I am?" I say and look at Alphys. She is smiling. "Alphys? What did you do?" I ask her. She claps her hand excitedly. "You two switched bodies! It worked!" She smiles. "good for you pal. can i kind of now have my own body back?" Alex asks, no screw that, I'm gonna call him Sans, because he is not me. I'm Alex in Sans' body now. "O-Oh of course! I'll get you the antidote. It's in my camper. Wait here!" She says and storms out the camper. "this is weird." Sans announces. "my voice is so high." He says with an extra high pitched voice. "Hey my voice isn't that high!" I protest. "Oh look at me I'm mister deep voice. I have an amazing voice." I say with an extra deep voice. He laughs.. like me. Still weird. "How are these bones holding together though?" I ask him. "It's not like I have any magic." I say and stick my hands in my pockets unintentionally. I'm already becoming him what is this. "ha i have boobs." Sans says and wiggles them extremely. I touch them to hold them still. At that moment, Alphys comes in and giggles so intensely that she drops the blue antidote. She yelps. I remember that I still have my hands on her(?) boobs and quickly untouch them. "uh.. did you just drop the antidote?" Sans asks and looks at the lizard with a grin. It looks kinda creepy on Alex if I'm honest. "Uhm... Yes?" She answers. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. "can you make another antidote or am I permanently having these babies?" He asks and wiggles my boobs around again. Alphys' head turns red and quickly replies. "I-It w-will b-be r-ready in t-t- three days." She stutters and runs out of the camper. "What." I stammer. "dunno. guess we're body switched now?" Sans says and stands up. "want coffee?" He offers. I accept. "By the way, you don't have to grin every second as Alex. It looks kind of weird on me actually." I chuckle. "well that's just me. the grinnin' ol' skeleton." He says and shrugs it off. "god flesh is so weird." "Tell me about it. I don't have my flesh." "I have fleshy parts now." Sans says and wiggles his, no my, eyebrows at me. "YOU WILL NOT BE TOUCHING THOSE!" I protest and stand up. "By the way, don't drink too much coffee." Oh god wait. Three days. That's like going to the toilet at least seven times if I'm drinking coffee. Fuck. "why not?" He asks, completely clueless. Play dumb mister skeleton.. or human. "Uhm well humans go to the toilet." I explain. He snickers. "you're cute when you're flustered." He comments and hands me my coffee. He just called himself cute. What a dick. "though, how are we gonna fix the bathroom then?" Wait shit how is he even gonna change clothes. Fucking hell why did i say yes? "Uhm... you can not look or something?" I suggest. God this is awkward and weird and no one should have this conversation. "well how am i gonna change underwear then?" He asks casually and takes a huge slurp of his coffee. Oh god what. "Uhm.. Fuck what how are we gonna do that?" "i could just see you naked. it's only flesh i mean." He suggests. What. Though, it is a good point. He's in the same boat as me and he doesn't seem to really care. "Let's not do that." I say, cringing slightly at the mental image of Sans in my body. "well what do we do then." He says. "Just don't look I guess. Humans kind of value their body parts which are private." "hey it's not that big of a deal. I'm in the same boat as you. it would be kinda weird if you just stood up and began stripping" He laughs. This makes me think. He is in the same boat with me. But him seeing me? Dunno about that though. Oh well.. "Sure." I say. Okay I'm instantly regretting this. "you accept? would have thought that you actually would have made a huge protest." He says. "Well it's easier that way. We're friends. That way, we don't really have to take showers together to wash each other and not see each other... Naked i mean. As far as I could see you naked anyway." I ramble. I'm a fucking idiot, I'm a fucking idiot. Sans laughs. "wait how do we cuddle?" He asks to break the silence. "I guess I'll be the big spoon? Wait oh my god I'm taller than you. Can you stand up for a bit?" I ask and smirk as he stands up. "I'm so tall oh look Alex size matters haha I'm Sans. I make inappropriate jokes at inappropriate times." I say in his voice and laugh. Now Sans has this evil smirk on his face. "Oh look I'm Alex I'm such a tall noodle. I love the cuddles by Sans and I love Sans so much wow he's amazing I should tell Undyne all about it!" He shouts and sprints towards the door. No no no no. "Sans stop!" I shout at him when he opens the door and runs towards the caravan behind ours. He knocks at the door. Undyne opens with a grin. "Hey Alex! Have you seen Alphys? Come in by the way." Undyne says and pulls Alex inside. She closes the door before she notices me, the real Alex. "I HAVE A PROBLEM UNDYNE, I JUST LOVE SANS SO MUCH!" I hear Sans shouting from the window. "WHAT YOU FINALLY ADMIT IT!?" Undyne shouts back. She seems fully serious. How am I going to explain this. I knock at the door too. It opens and reveals a grinning Undyne once again. "Hey Sans! Alex, your lover, is in here. Come in." She grins. As I step in, I get this masterplan. It consists out of embarrassing the hell out of Sans. "Hey Undyne." I state. "Yeah Sans?" "I got a hot dog. And a hot cat. And I have this incredibly hot friend whose name is Alexandra Stephane Parker. You can suck either one." I say and grin. She looks at me in a weird way. She must not know that we body swapped. "Sans what the fuck are you talking about." Undyne says cluelessly. "Just my hot friend Alex. Like she is really hot." I say and walk over to Alex' body, touch it with my index finger and make a sissing sound. "See, like really hot." I laugh. "oh no I think my friend, Sans the hot skeleton is way hotter. Like look at that skull, isn't he handsome?" He says and looks me in the eyes in a challenging manner. Well you know what Sans? Challenge accepted. ***** Bonegirl and fleshboy ***** After.. that.. we went back to our camper to figure things out. We also had to ride for the whole day, so I decided that I'd take the first shift. Sans was doing.. well I don't know. I should probably check though. "Sans what are you doing?" I shout and focus on the way again. "it's so d-damn cold!" He shouts back. Right.. skeletons can't feel temperature. "Come here for a sec then." I say. Immediately, he is standing right beside me. I give him the blue jacket I'm wearing. "that's better thanks pal." He thanks me and probably went to sit somewhere. After a while, It was Alex'.. or rather Sans' shift to take. I call him out and switch places with him. "seriously how do humans survive the cold?" He asks and sits down. "Well it's November. I guess you just should chill out or something." I say and give him a playful wink. "Oh god I'm already becoming you what is this." I mutter under my breath and leave. I decide to change shirts, so i walk to the bedroom and search for the ugliest shirt in his closet. I eventually find one with 'pugly shirt' on it with a picture of a laughing pug. Oh this one wins. I examine his closet a bit more and notice.. boxers? Wait is Sans wearing boxers? I cringe a bit at the mental image and look at his pants. Should I...? I stick my finger between the line of his shorts and boxers and see that he is wearing actual boxers. "whadda ya doin'?" Oh god no. I awkwardly laugh and freeze at the voice. "I.. Uh.. was checking if you had a di- I was checking out your boxers. Nice banana pattern on there pal!" I say. If skeletons could blush, I would be bright red. Even more red than Alphys. He laughs and leaves. Another moment for the list. "you know that I am a magic skeleton and the magic is in your body now right?" He shouts from the living room. "Yes?" I answer unsurely and change into the ugly pug shirt. Wait did he hint that he couldn't spawn a penis right now..? I shouldn't think about this right now. Sans taps me on my shoulder and smirks as I turn around. Alex.. No, Sans has various tentacles behind him and smirks seductively. "You could be in a hentai movie right now." I comment. Though.. I look quite sexy. NO I WILL NOT BE INTO THIS. "well you could be." Sans laughs. "I'm so sexy look I'm Alex." He says and does a dramatic pose like Mettaton. Right.. the game is still on. "Oh look at me I don't have a dick." I say and set my hands on my hipbones. "that was a really hip burn if I may say so." Sans comments. I laugh and let myself fall on the bed. "But seriously.. Tentacles?" I say, still laughing. "oh i can do a lot more when I'm in my own body." He smirks. "So you are like a hentai god or something?" I say and raise an eyebrow.. wait i don't have one how did i raise it. My eyes widened at a sudden thought. "Sans.. who is driving the caravan right now?" "well Undyne wanted a break so we all stopped for a moment. want coffee?" He explains and offers. I nod. He walks to the kitchen and comes back with two cups of coffee. "freshly brewed for fleshgirl. or no wait.. bonegirl?" He says and laughs. Sans sits on the bed and Taco jumps in his lap immediately. "Well hi to you too fleshboy." I laugh. My ribs are kind of vibrating I notice. I guess those are the perks of being a male skeleton. I let out a deep sound laugh. "havin' fun with my voice?" Sans comments and let out a really high pitched voice. "i love sans so much!" he sings. It doesn't sound all that well. I cringe a bit. "I will love Alex until i die." I sing in the deepest tone i could produce. "touché." We eventually finish the ride and begin setting up the camper again. There is knocking on the door. I walk to it, but it gets opened straight away. "NYEH SANS?" Papyrus shouts. Wait does he know..? "Yeah bro?" I try to impressionate him as much as possible. "GREAT YOU ARE HERE! CAN YOU COME WITH ME FOR A SECOND?" Papyrus proposes. "Yeah of course. I'll say to Alex that I'm with you hold on." I say and race to the bedroom, where Sans is sleeping. I don't want to wake him, so i write a note that I'm with Papyrus and I will be back soon. I come to the living room again and see Papyrus standing with his arms on his hipbones. "READY FOR SOME BROTHER BRO TIME?" He shouts. I'm feeling that this won't be the best idea. Whatever I should have fun. "Yeah of course. You are the best bro after all." I comment and give him my best grin. "Wait what is my favorite vegetable?" I grin. Oh this is gonna piss him off. "SANS IF THIS IS ANOTHER PUN I SWEAR I WILL-" "It's broccoli." I laugh an step out of the caravan. Well bro to brother time it is then. ***** Chapter 39 ***** Chapter Summary someone suggested this so here i love you and i cried laughing this chapter oops Out for some brotime. "So what do you wanna do today Pap?" I ask him while walking over the terrain. "WE STILL NEED TO PLAN THE SURPRISE PARTY FOR ALEX!" He shouts. Oh my god I'm sorry in advance. "YOU KNOW HER BEST, SO YOU HAVE TO HELP." Well I indeed know Alex the best. "Yeah sure." Papyrus walks towards his and Mettaton's camper and opens the door. Coming to think of it, I have never been in their camper. I widen my eyes at the sight. To say the least, it looks Mettatonish. "Nice camper bro." I compliment him. "YOU HELPED ME PICK IT! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT SANS YOU ARE BEHAVING.. WEIRD." He says and looks at me. Oh god. "Nah I'm just a little tired." I say and go to sit on the pink couch. He comes to sit in front of me. "SO WHAT DOES ALEX LIKE?" "Oh there are many things she likes." I simply say and cross my legs. "YEAH BUT WHAT KIND OF PARTIES DOES SHE LIKE?" Papyrus asks again and gets up to get something to drink. "DO YOU WANT SOME LIMONADE SANS?" I answer yes and get handed the glass of limonade. "For the party thing, let's do that.. tomorrow? Yeah, tomorrow is fine, I gotta go now actually." I say. Let's not spoil the party for myself. I'm a good person. "NO NO WE HAVE TO DO THIS. PROCRASTINATION IS THE THIEF OF TIME!" He says and grabs me by my shoulder and makes me sit on the couch again. Well I tried. We plan a small party with friends and food. I still have to invite Jess. She can fly under the budget of Mettaton (thankfully). I take out Sans' phone and unlock it and press in the number I know by heart. "Hello, this is Jess speaking." Jess'voice says. I could cry right now. "Heyy J-Slice. Wanna come to my- Alex' surprise party?" I ask. "Sans? Is this you? How is Alex?" Jess says again. "Alex is fine, don't worry. But wanna come? MTT will pay the flight." I offer. "Yes of course! When's the party?" She asks. Shit when is the party? "Hold on I'll ask." I say and look at Papyrus. "Bro when is the party?" "NYEH! 24 NOVEMBER!" He answers. "It's on 24 november" I say to Jess. "Cool. I'll be there. Looking forward to it!" "Yay okay bye!" "Bye!" "YOU ARE FREE TO GO NOW BROTHER!" Papyrus says. I give him a hug. "NYEH?" He says and pats my back. "You are a good brother." I say and let go. "WELL OF COURSE I AM!" Papyrus says, which makes me laugh. I leave and go inside my own camper again. "I'm home!" I shout. Sans is still on the bed, now on his laptop. "you planned your own party?" Sans grins. "oh well I don't have to do it now." He laughs. "anyway, wanna go out? wait.. like to a café or something. I need better coffee than the shit we have here." Like a date? I'm genuinely confused Sans what the fuck. "Yeah sure." I accept and grab my purse and stick it in the baseball pants. "I'll pay." Sans nods and grabs my hand. The same feeling of falling again. Darkness.. and a voice. "Alexxxxxxxx...." it hisses. Much like Voldemort hisses the name 'Harry'. It gives me creeps. I open my eyes again and we are in a town I don't know. "Weird." I say. "you'll get used to the teleporting someday." Sans says and walks to a café with me. "No that's not it.. I heard a voice say my name while teleporting. Like, it hissed my name." I say. Sans stops and looks at me with widened eyes. He then walks on like nothing has happened. "You know about it?" I ask again. "I'll tell you another time." Sans says and walks on. Well once he says that, he wont be letting loose any information I guess. We eventually find a café and enter. It smells like good coffee. We sit at the bar. "What can I help you with?" A man, with a grey moustache says kindly. "two coffee's please." Sans orders and smiles at me. The bartender leaves and a man around the age of thirty comes to sit next Sans. "Wanna go home with me pretty lady?" He asks. Sans freezes in shock and turns to the man. "no thanks." He refuses. "Come on pretty lady, I can dive you crazy." The man says again and lays his arm around Sans. "Hey fuck off she's my bo- girlfriend." I join in and remove the arm from Sans' body. "Jeez so she's a monster fucker. What a shame. I could do a better job." The man says and leaves. Sans releases the breath he realizes he had been holding and drinks his coffee once it arrives. "thanks." He says and smiles at me. "No problemo." I smile back. Then his smiling face changes into a mortified one. "Alex?" He whispers. I cock an eyebrow (sort of). "meet me in the bathroom." He says and practically sprints towards the bathroom. I smile at the bartender, who is looking weirdly at the sprinting girl. "Be right back." I say, stand up and walk slowly to the bathroom. Then it hits me. Oh no. Oh fuck no. I sprint to the bathroom as well. There's only one door, so I decide to knock. "Sans? You in there?" I ask. "y-yeah?" He says and unlocks the door. Then I see him sitting on the toilet, not daring to look down. I was supposed to get my period today. Oh no. "uhm." Sans says as I stare at my bleeding body. "It's okay, these things happen. Don't be terrified. Can you still teleport?" I ask. He nods. "Just throw some toiletpaper in my undies for the time and let's get the fuck out of here quick." I panic. The worst thing? Sans just stares at me. So I decide to do it myself. I get on my knees and grab the toilet paper in a hurry. I roll a good amount off the thing and whipe sans's vagina. Okay yes that sounded weird. He looks startled at me, but I'm on a mission. Not getting myself embarassed in public. (again). Then I roll another good amount of the toilet roll and throw that in his underwear. "Will you be able to pull up your underwear or should I do that myself?" I say. So he stands up and pulls up the undies and his jeans. Then we teleport home quickly. Alphys is standing in the room, searching for us. She tenses up once she sees us. "O-Oh good. I-I've g-g-got the antidote." She stutters. "It's basically the same principe as drinking the potion. J-just sit in front of each other and drink on one. We sit on the couch and get handed the same antidote as which Alphys dropped two days ago. It's blue and smells like blueberry. "Well I'll count then." Alphys announces. "goodbye boobs." Sans says and smirks at you. If I had a tongue I'd stick it out. "Three." "Goodbye skeleass." I say and laugh. "Two." "Goodbye hair." Sans says and whipes a fake tear. "One." ***** "I read this for the plot" ***** I wake up, lying on Sans' bed with my head laying on his shoulder and his arm wrapped around me. I also noticed I was wearing Sans' sweater. Seems logic since I gave it to Sans. When I look around for a bit I notice Alphys and Undyne standing by our bed, grinning. "Good morning punks!" Undyne shouts and hrows her fist in the air heroically. Sans seems to have awakened too and smiles at the sight of his skeleton hands. "morning." He says with a raspy tone and closed his eyes again. "what are we doing today?" Sans asks and begins to play with my hair, which feels kinda nice. Alphys claps her hands excitedly. "W-Well we have two tickets to the circus, but we have stuff to do, so you two.. together.. as a couple could go." She suggests with a sly smirk on her face. They are shipping us. "AS IN A DATE!" Undyne shouts a little too hard. Oh they are shipping us. "Wait will you two pay the food?" I ask and smirk. "If that means you will go together then yes." Alphys answers and takes out her purse. "Well I'm in then." I accept. Free food is good. Quote that everyone. "sure I'm in too." Sans says. Undyne is smiling like a dork. "GREAT! Here are the tickets and the money for food. Don't forget to hold hands the entire time. We'll go then. The show starts in two hours by the way." Undyne says, quickly throws an envelope and some money on the bed and picks up Alphys to sprint out of the caravan while giggling. "so we're gonna go to the circus then huh?" Sans chuckles and wraps himself in a blanket. "I'm a burrito now." He says and snoring erupts from the burrito. "Well burritos can't talk." I sass. I'm proud of this burn. "wait do you know what burritos can do best?" Sans asks and wiggles while still being in the blankets. "What do burritos do best burrito man?" I laugh. Sans quickly unwraps himself from the blankets and bends over me, holding both of my hands and grinning seductively. "well what burritos can do best is.." He whispers and comes closer to my face. My nose touches the place his nose should be, and our foreheads are touching as well. I'm just a blushing mess right now. Is he going to kiss me? "TICKLING!" Sans shouts and tickles my stromach, causing me to uncontrollably. "S-Sans.. Haha.. S-Stop!" I laugh again. "I'll stop when you say that you'll make my breakfast and feed Taco" He smirks. This skeleton. "O-Okay I promise!" I laugh. Sans takes his hands off my stromach. "nice." I sit up and look at him. "Though, shouldn't you feed your significant other yourself?" I laugh. Sans quickly bends over me again. Sans' hands reach to my stromach before he begins tickling me again. "I'll stop when you say that Sansco isn't real!" He laughs. "N-Never!" I laugh and attempt to tickle Sans's ribs. He laughs as well and I quickly get on top of him. "Say that Sansco is real and I'll stop!" I smirk devishly and tickle him more. "It isn't r-real!" He manages to say and erupts in laughter. There was knocking on the door, followed by the door opening with a bang and causing me to tense up, still sitting on Sans' lap with my hands over his chest. "NYEH SANS AND ALEX?" Papyrus, who entered with Undyne, exclaimed. Oh no. Oh fuck no. "sup bro." Sans says and awkwardly looks at his friend. Oh no. I don't even have the courage to turn my head to Undyne. "DOES THIS MEAN YOU TWO ARE FINALLY DATING?" Papyrus shouts. Oh no. "uh.." Sans says and looks at me with the what-the-fuck-should-I-say-face. "Well you wouldn't want to disappoint Papyrus, would you?" Undyne smirks. This fucking fish. I blush and look at sans with the what-the-fuck-should-we-say- face. Sans looks like he's thinking and eventually shrugs a little bit, meaning he could do it. I myself nod a little. "yes?" Sans announces. "NYEH FINALLY! I WILL GET MY BOOK AND COACH YOU IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP!" Papyrus shouts and runs out of the caravan. Oh fuck this. "Getting steamy eh?" Undyne smirks and leaves as well after doing a victory shout. When they are both out of range, I snort and break down laughing. Sans does the same and causes me to fall off his imaginary stromach. "Where did we get ourselves into?" I say between giggles. "I guess we got ourselves into more free food." He comments and stands up. "Want breakfast?" Sans offers. I now stand up myself and push him back on the bed. "Hey now, I promised I would make breakfast. Get your laptop and search something to watch." I order and walk into the kitchen to get something to eat. I eventually end up with two bowls of cornflakes (and a tampon inside of me) and get into the bed again. I first get under the covers before handing the food to Sans, who has an episode of 'Stranger things' When we're watching the episode for like thirty minutes, the door opens again and reveals a smiling Papyrus. "I'M BACK WITH THE BOOK!" ***** Sans in a crop top is gr8 ***** "I'M BACK WITH THE BOOK!" Papyrus shouts, interrupting our time eating cornflakes and sobbing over the series. "oh that's good bro. just lay it on the table and i'll read it eventually." Sans tells his brother and takes another spoonful of the cornflakes. "I HAVE NO TIME FOR THAT! WE WILL BEGIN WITH STEP ONE RIGHT HERE AND NOW BROTHER AND HUMAN ALEX!" Papyrus shouts and holds up the book like it's his bible or something. It's quite cute. "NOW STEP ONE, DRESS YOURSELF NICELY." Papyrus says and also reveals a plastic bag behind his back. "THEREFORE, I HAVE CHOSEN A NICE OUTFIT FOR YOU BOTH!" He shouts again and throws the bag at the laptop, causing it to close. Okay too far Papyrus. "WEAR THIS. I'LL BE BACK IN FIVE MINUTES!" Papyrus shouts again and runs out of the caravan. Sans opens the bag and gets out a neon dress for me and laughs. "oh my god this is amazing." Sans snorts. "i kinda wanna see you in a dress though. go change." He says and hands the dress to me. "I first wanna see what you'll wear and consider it." I say and snort as he takes out his garments. It consists of a neon green crop top with 'COOL BOY' on it. "oh my god." Sans laughs and throws the shirt over his shoulder, causing it to fall on the lamp. "Okay I'll wear a dress if you wear that top." I say and smirk. There is no way he will wear that crop top. Therefore I won't have to wear my dress and we will be both happ- "sure. I'll do that. go change honeyboo." He says and picks up the top again. "Seriously? Honeyboo? And I thought fleshgirl was the worst it could get." I laugh and get into the bathroom to change into the ridiculous dress. The dress itself is bright pink with blue and green stripes. I feel so fabulous in this, you wouldn't even know it. I get out of the bathroom, and see Sans waiting in his crop top, looking uncomfortable as fuck. I strike a Mettaton pose to light the mood, and get a laugh out of him. "YES POSING! VERY GOOD!" Papyrus shouts as he comes into the caravan again. "NOW I HEARD THAT YOU TWO WOULD GO ON A DATE TO THE CIRCUS! THIS WILL BE A GREAT WAY TO TEST YOUR DATING SKILLS! DON'T FORGET TO HOLD HANDS!" Papyrus says and grabs my arm, to connect it with Sans' hand. "NOW YOU ARE HOLDING HANDS GOOD JOB!" He smiles and claps excitedly. I smile at him, mainly because he just makes me happy and laugh. "OKAY NOW YOU HAVE TO GIVE ALEX A KISS!" Oh. I look awkwardly at Sans, who looks even more awkwardly at me. I mean, we are just friends. Sans quickly gives me a kiss on the cheek with his teeth. Right, how is he even supposed to kiss. "SANS THAT WASN'T GOOD! YOU HAVE TO ADD A SOUND EFFECT!" Papyrus criticizes. "kay jeez." Sans says. "I ain't complainin' though." He says and gives me a kiss on the cheek again, but this time, he makes a 'mwah' sound. I laugh. "GOOD SANS! GOOD! NOW, YOU SHOULD MAKE SPECIAL SPAGHETTI FOR HER AND GO TO THE CIRCUS!" Papyrus claps his hands. "The circus is starting in thirty minutes though. I don't think we really have time for the pasta." I say. "NYEH? THERE IS ALWAYS TIME FOR PASTA! I WILL HAVE IT READY WHEN YOU TWO COME BACK!" He says again. Sans lets go of my hand he realizes he was still holding and gets to the bed to get the tickets and stuff them in a backpack. "you comin'?" He asks when Papyrus runs out of the caravan again. "Yeah." I say and take his hand. We eventually leave teleporting and enjoy the show. When we come back, walking, because Sans was apparently 'too tired from sitting'. Fun fact, he had stuffed his jacket in his backpack and wore it. He had teased me endlessly with the dress I'm wearing. I had eventually said that I would undress myself if he would go on like this. I don't know why that made him shut up, but I was victorious I guess. We walk onto the terrain and get greeted by Alphys and Undyne, both smirking at the fact that we are holding hands. What is so wrong with friends holding hands? "Hope you two had fun." Alphys laughs. "FUHUHUH PAPYRUS AND I MADE A ROMANTIC SPAGHETTI DINNER!" Undyne, who is wearing a fake fucking moustache, shouts and picks up us both, and runs towards her camper. When we enter it, we see a dark inside of a camper with a table placed in the middle of it. Candles everywhere and the smell of spaghetti was overflowing. "well I called it. free food." Sans whispers and goes to sit at a chair. I eventually went to sit on the chair in front of Sans. Undyne is still into the room, grinning like a creep. When we finish diner, Papyrus comes in and smiles at the both of us. "SANS NOW YOU HAVE TO THANK YOUR DATE." He announces and looks at the book. "GET ON ONE KNEE AND- OH WAIT THAT IS CHAPTER 88." "I wonder what chapter 89 is about." I mumble and laugh. "LET'S SEE.." Papyrus says and throws the book to Sans' head in a reflect. "SOMETHING ABOUT HONEYMOON." He says. I laugh at his flustered face. "NOW SANS TAKE HER TO YOUR HOUSE AND DO WHATEVER PEOPLE DO IN THEIR ROOM." Papyrus says and connects my and Sans' hand again. Insert the lenny faces I guess. "m'kay bro." Sans says and walks out with me in his grip. "so what do people in their rooms when they date?" He asks and wiggles his eyebrows. How does magic bone work anyway? "Well they do whatever they want I guess." I say and see someone walk over the terrain. He is looking around him suspiciously. "Sans over there!" I whisper to the skeleton. He looks over there as well. "it could either be the bomber or just a really suspicious person planting a bomb." ***** D͇̼̻̙̭̱̣͝e̶̱̲̘̤͎s̲̮ͅt̡̳̤̫̪̱r͖̘oy̷͚͚̮̭̙ ***** We slowly approach the man, exanimating the ground. He has to be the bomber. Why would he look at the ground like that otherwise? "Shit wait what if he's dangerous?" I whisper to my skelefriend and just walk with him normally over the terrain, keeping our eyes on the man. "i have the feelin' I have seen this dude before." He suddenly says, a bit too loud. The man probably heard it, because he begins walking away without even looking behind him. "well we can check out the spot now I guess." Sans says and drags me towards the spot the man had been digging dirt. There was literally nothing. "weird." He shrugs and gets up. I won't accept this, so I get onto the ground and begin digging into the dirt with my bare hands. "wait Alex! stop!" Sans warns me and drags me away rather roughly. "What the fuck Sans?" I say and wipe my hands clean on the dress. "what if he planted a bomb? you need to be more careful. seriously." He says and places his hands on my shoulder before wrapping me into a hug. "I can't afford to lose you m'kay." Sans says and hugs me even tighter. There is a whistle coming from distance. "YOU HAVE MOVES SANS!" I hear Undyne shout. "COME SET UP FOR THE SHOW TONIGHT THOUGH!" She shouts. Sans groans and lets go of me. Dammit I was really enjoying the hug. "hey so you have nothing to do right now right?" He asks and holds my hands. I shake my head. "then what about you change and go investigate some people. there's a list on my laptop who were suspects the other timelines." Sans says. "Kay. I'll dress up in like all black and be like a ninja." I say and show some karate moves. "sure." He laughs and begins walking towards the stage. A while later, I am dressed in black shoes, black yoga pants, a black sweatshirt and I'm wearing a black beany. You could say I'm cosplaying as my soul. I take out my phone and text Sans a picture of me doing a piece sign with the clothes on. Alex: [ Sent 1 Picture(s) ] Sans: Can a ninja throw a star? Sans: SHUR-HE-CAN Sans: I'm so funny hahaha Alex: pfff Sans: you look good btw Alex: <3333333 Sans: are your parents terrorists because you sure are the bomb Alex: oh right the terrorists Alex: well gotta stalk Bacchus first I guess where the hell do I find him Sans: AV room. Alex: kay kay. I hope I don't get killed bye Sans: BE CAREFUL Alex: YOU TOO I smile at the messages. For old times sake I guess. Undyne went wild when Sans asked for my number. It was quite funny. The fish ended up learning my number too and prank calling me though. Anyway, I leave the camper and run over the terrain as fast as I can (kind of in an unintended Naruto way... Oh well.). In distance, I see a tiny building, and I see Jeremey, whom I met when I met the audio guys. "Hey Jer!" I greet him. Shit wait my appearance. "Hey Alex!" He waves and signs to come to him. "What's the occasion on?" He asks and takes a sip of the tea on the desk, where also stands all the technology on. I hope I don't fuck this up. "Uh I actually was looking for Bacchus. Do you know where he is?" I ask smoothly and lean on the table. NO WAIT NO LEANING. "Uhm.. I don't know? I thought he was setting things up backstage just now. Maybe look there?" He says and smiles again. Do I have trust issues or not? He is smiling so much I can't. "I'll look there, thanks." I thank him and run out the small building. I only had to walk about hundred meters when I reached the actual entrance to the backstage. Good thing Undyne was being a security guard for the night, so I would easily be let in. Mark my words, would. "Why do you wanna come backstage?" She asked me. I froze. Oh I only want to kind of stalk someone and prevent a bombing, no biggie. "Uhm.. I need to tell Sans something." I lied. She looked at me suspiciously before humming. "You guys have phones right? Why not call him?" She asked. "Uhm... Well this is not the kind of thing you say over the phone I guess?" I say again and shrug awkwardly. Wait does she think I'm going to confess my undying love for him now? "I'll trust you on that." She says and steps out of the way. I quickly walk over to a corner with a ladder and climb it, to arrive rather high. I could adjust the lights from this point. "Alęx͢xx͏x̸...." I hear again. The same voice from when I was teleporting with Sans. I stumble and look around. I see the guy I met with the AV guys. The rude one.. what was he called again? He turns around and grabs my hand. "Are you okay?" He asks. "Not really? I dunno really." I say. "I'm so sorry what is your name again?" I ask. Oh my god I'm such an awkward human being. "It's Bacchus." He says and smiles. "Alęx͢xx͏x̸....." The voice sisses again. Static. The sound of static. It's deafening. I see Bacchus' concerned face turn into a one with a horrific grin and grabs me by my neck. "Alęx͢xx͏x̸." He sisses in almost a demonic tone and chokes me. W- What? "S-Sans.." I try to shout trough the choking. He is surprisingly strong, since he lifts me up and pushes me over the fence, making me hang seven meters above the surface. Bacchus smirks. "P-please.." I whine. He closes his eyes and lets go of my neck. I'm falling. "D͇̼̻̙̭̱̣͝e̶̱̲̘̤͎s̲̮ͅt̡̳̤̫̪̱r͖̘oy̷͚͚̮̭̙" ***** Thank god Papyrus is here ***** Beep. Beep. Beep. That's the first thing I heard when I woke up in a white room. I notice that I'm in a bed, dressed in a mint dress. My chest area and right leg hurt a lot. I notice a skeleton hand in mine, and look to the right to see Sans, sleeping in a chair beside me. I smile at him, but immediately flinch at the pain and let out a cry. This seems to wake him up and look at me concernedly. "oh my god finally." He says. "hold on and lay down, I'll get a nurse." Sans says and smiles at me before rushing out of the room. What happened that I'm here though? Wait. Wait I remember. Fucking Bacchus choked me and threw me from 7 meters high. Thanks pal. "Are you all right?" A nurse asks. She has curly blonde hair and blue eyes. She's pretty and reminds me a bit of Jess. "Well does it look like I'm all right?" I say. Okay maybe I shouldn't be a sassy bitch towards a nurse. "Three of your ribs are broken. Your leg was broken as well." She says and adjusts his glasses. "Wait what do you mean was?" I ask with a puzzled face. "There was this skeleton who healed your whole leg. Like, all the bones in your leg were broken and scrambled and stuff." The nurse says. I look at Sans in a questioning way. Can he actually heal stuff? What? Sans lets out a little 'nyeh heh heh' sound and coughs. Okay so it was Papyrus that healed me. Fair enough. Gotta thank that skeleton. The nurse continues. "Your leg is fine, there is pain, sure, but it's fine. It is easy to treat broken ribs though." She says and hands some tea to me. "You will just have to remember not to do much exercise the first week. I will get you some painkillers, because breathing will hurt. Though, maybe your skeleton friend can help the recovery go faster? He literally healed broken and crushed leg in one hour." She laughs and looks at Sans with a smile. "Do you want coffee or tea?" The nurse asks Sans and lays her hand on his femur. "yeah sure. some coffee please." He thanks her formally. "Yeah no I'm good." I say as she walks away. Oh my god I'm so salty. Sans grins at me. "that wasn't nice." He laughs. "You should ask her out! She's totally into you. I mean she even touched your leg. She's showing signs skeledude." I tease him. "nah. don't like her that much. and you touched my femur too." He winks. YEAH BUT HAT IS BECAUSE IM INTO YOU SANS DON'T YOU GET THE HINT?! JEEZ. The nurse eventually comes back with a coffee for Sans. "I think you could go home in a few hours ms. Parker." She smiles at me with a smile that is oh so fake. "Yeah sure." I smile and get handed a bag with painkillers. She also fetched some crutches for me, which is surprisingly nice. The nurse turns to Sans. "By the way, what are you doing tonight?" She asks and bites her lip seductively. "oh I'm just having a romantic date with my girlfriend Alex." He says and kisses me on my cheek. Haha take that you nurse. This is my bag of bones. "But you could do so much better!" She protests. "You wouldn't want to miss out on this!" Now Sans gets up and helps me up as well. He wraps his arm around me, helping me walk. I try to ignore the pain in my chest as much as I can. "nah, I'm quite all right with this beautiful girl." He says and walks forward to grab the bag, the crutches and a big, white envelope with 'X-RAY' on it. "well anyway, thanks for the stuff. we'll pay eventually." He says and teleports. There's always this twisting feeling about teleporting. I suppose you could say that it's just like bungee jumping. You jump into a black hole and don't know if you will get pulled up again. "Alexxxx.." I hear the corrupted voice say again. Static again. I open my eyes, and we are in the camper again. Sans picks me up and lays me in bed. "now you stay there." He says and smiles. There's a blue tint on his face. Cute I think. "Wait did we really just steal out of a hospital?" I laugh and immediately regret that, because of the pain in my chest. "nope." Sans says as he comes back with an ice pack. "i did." He laughs and wraps a shirt of his around the ice pack. "uhm.. can you lift your shirt a bit?" He asks. Again, he has this blue tint on his face. WAIT IS HE BLUSHING? Oh my god this is cute. I lift my shirt until it reaches my bra. He puts the ice pack on my ribs carefully. I cringe at the sudden temperature drop. "Jesus t-this is c-cold." I say. "Wait can you give my phone for a sec?" I ask Sans, unable to reach the coffee table right now. I guess I'll be staying here for a week. As soon as he hands me my phone, I call Papyrus and ask if he can come to the camper. Exactly three seconds later, he appears. "ALEX ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?" He asks and sits by the bed. "I wanted to thank you for healing my leg. I swear that I would have died from the pain if you hadn't." I thank him and smile. "YOU WOULD HAVE DIED? THANK GOODNESS I DID THAT!" Papyrus says and wraps me in a hug, crushing my ribs even more. "P-Pap! Ow!" I flinch at the pain. He drops me quickly on the bed again. "NYOO HOO HOO SORRY ALEX!" He apologizes quickly. "I WILL BE ABLE TO HEAL YOUR RIBS IN THREE DAYS I SUPPOSE." Papyrus smiles. "THE GREAT PAPYRUS NEEDS HIS REFILL OF MAGIC TOO!" He laughs and throws a fist in the air, much like Undyne. Thank god Papyrus is here. ***** Who took the stars out of the sky and put them into your eyes? ***** After 3 days, my ribs were fully healed (thanks to Papyrus that is). Sans and I just drove three hours each to reach the next city Mettaton will be performing in. The Bacchus case was put on hold for a bit since I literally couldn't be on my laptop without Sans to hold it, since when I'm on my laptop, I always lay it on my stomach and browse the internet. Just as I begin to relax, the fr swings open and reveals the one and only Mettaton standing in the doorway. "DARLING! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?" He says and walks over to me dramatically. "Yeah. It was only three days ago that I broke three of my ribs and my leg by getting thrown off a platform seven meters above the ground by one of your lovely employees." I say and sigh. "But I'm all right now. Papyrus healed me, so I'm hoping the pain would be over tomorrow." I smile at him. Mettaton has a puzzled look on his face. "Who threw you off the platform though? And why were you even backstage darling?" He chuckles and sits on the bed. "Bacchus did? Like I just wanted to talk to him and he decides to get all weird all of the sudden and nearly chokes me to death?" I say. I'm still trying to figure out his intentions. "I will go talk to him. Just stay in bed for a little while Alex." Mettaton smiles. "I know that I'm busy, and I have been probably been missing out on a lot, but I'm here if you ever need to talk about something." He says and stands up. I nod and give him a smile. "OKAY WELL IT'S TIME TO GO NOW!" He sings and spurts out of the caravan. That was nice. "he gone?" A voice says from under the bed. "Yup." I say and smile when I see a skeleton come out from under the bed. "hey I had an idea. It's night now right?" Sans asks me, opens the closet (Where I finally put my clothes in(!)) and begins searching. "Yeah it is. What about it?" I ask. He eventually gets out with a book. "wanna go stargazing?" Sans asks and smiles at me. Well how can I say no to that face? I nod excitedly. "kay. you grab the blankets and pillows then. I'll get food or something." He says before leaving the bedroom. I stand up carefully and begin collecting all the pillows and blankets which were shattered basically all over the caravan. After a while, Sans gets ladders and places them against the camper. I look at him with a puzzled face, but get what he means after a second or two. "ladies first." He grins. "Oh what a gentleman." I say dramatically and climb the ladder. When I'm standing on the caravan, I have to do my absolute best not to fall off of it and break another leg due to my clumsiness. I lay down the blanket we use for sleeping and lay some pillows on it. Sans let himself fall on the blanket, but regrets it immediately due the hard underground. I laugh at him and throw a blanket at him. We lay down and watch the stars. After about ten minutes, I shudder from the cold. It wasn't really a good idea to be out in late November. "you cold?" Sans says. His eyes are still sticking to the sky. I see a smile on his face. This time, a real one. I shuffle a bit closer to Sans and lay my heart on his ribcage. He wraps an arm around me. This is so much better. "Hey girl. You are out of this world." He tries. I laugh. Don't dare the pick up line queen Sans. "Is your dad a thief? Why? Cause I saw him steal all the stars out of the sky and put them in your eyes." I smirk. Sans laughs and covers his face. "They call me milky way. Pleasure you cant measure." He laughs. I'm pretty sure we are waking up the whole neighborhood. "I'm attracted to you like the Earth is attracted to the Sun-with a large force inversely proportional to the distance squared. I must be the Sun and you must be Earth, cause the closer we get, the hotter you become." I wink. "okay I give up you win this round." He says. "congrats to my fake girlfriend." Sans laughs. "I have a riddle." I announce. He hums. "I shine when it is dark, I am sometimes full. When I am, I light up the night. There is a blanket around me, but often at night am I cold." I say. "easy. It's the moon. you gotta try harder than that." He smirks. "You're in a cement room without any windows or doors. The only thing you have is a mirror and a piece of wood. How do you get out?" Sans says and unintentionally(?) gives me a really nice head massage by scratching my skull. "Maybe smash the mirror and begin to dig your way trough the wall?" I suggest. Sans chuckles. "nope." I think again. Where the fuck do I need logs for? "you look in the mirror to see what you 'saw', take the 'saw' and cut the piece of wood in half. put the two halves together to make a 'whole', and then just crawl out trough the 'whole'." He says simply. "You have too much spare time." I laugh. "Good one though." We keep telling each other riddles for the night. It was really fun. Eventually the day begins, hinting that we probably should get off the caravan and actually sleep. We pack everything up and promise each other that we would go stargazing again soon. But let's catch that bomber first shall we? ***** Parties are fun until Mettaton lets the cake explode ***** I woke up by someone walking in the camper with Sans wrapped around my waist. "mornin'." He says in a raspy sleepy voice. "congrats." He grunts and kisses my cheek with a 'mwah' soundeffect. "Thanks." I laugh and remember it's my birthday today. "want breakfast?" He offers. I nod and Sans gets out of bed. I remember the envelope with X-Rays laying on the nightstand next to me, so I grab that and take out the pictures. Well.. those are pictures of broken ribs.. And a scrambled tibia and fibula. Looked quite cool to be honest. "waddaya lookin' at?" Sans asks and sits on the bed with two bowls of cereal. "My X-Rays." I answer and look at him. He looks at the pictures with the same blue tint on his face. "wow. pretty messed up tibia honest." Sans jokes. "Wanna have them?" I ask and hand the pictures to him. "mkay." Sans says and lays them on his nightstand and grabs his laptop. Wait. Wait oh my god. Is giving X-Rays to a skeleton like giving nudes to a human. Fuck what? "wanna watch something?" Sans grins. Well yes if it's not my bones that is. I feel violated all of the sudden. What the hell it's just bones quit being so in love Alex. "Yeah sure. You pick something this time." I say and eat the cereal. Taco jumps on the bed and lays between Sans and me. I stroke her fur a bit and smile at the cat. A loud noise comes from the door suddenly being opened. "SURPRISE PUNKS!" Undyne shouts, fires some party poppers and comes in with balloons. Well she sure knows how to make an entrance. "Hey!" I greet Undyne, get out of bed and hug her. Over her shoulder I see Jess. "Oh my god!" I squeal and hug her as well. "Happy birthday girl!" She laughs at getting hugged so tight. Papyrus joins in on the hug. "THIS IS JUST A PLATONIC HUG HUMANS! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEX!" He shouts. I laugh as Undyne and Alphys join the hug too. At last, Sans hugs the pile as well. After a while, we get into the cafeteria, loaded with balloons and confetti. In the center is a big cake with lots of green icing. "This is really coo-" I say, but the cake explodes. "HELLO DARLING!" Mettaton says while stepping out of the cake. "IT'S ME! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" He says, strikes a pose and wraps me in a hug. The cake is definitely ruining this outfit forever. I laugh and thank him. Jess squeals a little too loud when she sees Mettaton. "OH YOU ARE HERE TOO DARLING! COME HERE!" He says and runs over to hug Jess. I snort when I see Jess' face. She's sobbing and smiling at the same time. Much like the time I decided to go on tour. "Who wants cake?" Mettaton says and looks at the exploded cake. "Ehm.. I'll get another one. Stay here darlings! This party is going to be absolutely fabulous~!" He announces and runs out of the building. "welp. time for presents then?" Sans asks the whole group and you were blindfolded in less than a second by Undyne. "the legendary spaghetti monster." Sans whispers. I laugh a little too loud and let out an unattractive snort. Undyne un-blindfolds me after a while and I see a few presents laying on the table. I smile. "Thank you guys." I say and hug everyone of my friends (maybe a little too tight.. oh well) "WELL OPEN THEM ALEX! I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO OPEN MINE!" Papyrus shouts and claps his hand excitedly. I walk over to the present which is probably signed by Papyrus. The handwriting is in.. Papyrus. Of course. "YES!" Papyrus shouts. I unpack it and see it's a 'How to Spaghetti 101 book'. "Nahw thank you Papyrus!" I say and hug him. "MINE AND ALPHY NEXT!" Undyne says, runs over to the table with presents and hands me a big, blue wrapped present. I unpack it and see a sword and a bottle of wine. "YOU CAN DRUNKENLY FIGHT NOW!" Undyne laughs and gives me a hug. "B-By the way.. It's a katana and it's real so you b-better be careful with it." Alphys laughs. "Now mine!" Jess says and hands her gift. I smile and unwrap it. The present consists basically of a pile of fandom merchandise. We have a Harry Potter sweater, Twenty one pilots shirt and some sweatpants with the Attack on titan logo on it. I hug and thank her. "it's not much, but try mine." Sans suggests at last. I pick up the messily wrapped (probably book) and unpack it. It's a joke book. Of course Sans. I laugh. "Are my jokes that bad." I say and turn to Sans. He snickers. "well maybe look inside the book." he says. I open it and notice the whole book is cut out and there is a necklace with a blue diamond laying in the middle. "It's beautiful!" I say and stand up to hug him. "happy birthday boo." He says and kisses my cheek with a 'mwah' sound. "OH MY GOD ARE THEY DATING?" Jess screams. Oh no Jess. "Uhm.." I say awkwardly and look at Undyne, who looks at Papyrus' hopeful face. "Yes?" I say. I already regret this. "You two are literally the cutest thing." Jess squeals and hugs the both of us. "Now let's party punks!" ***** this isn't fanservice i swear ***** Chapter Notes THIS WAS WRITTEN IN UNDYNE'S POV Alex' birthday party had.. Escalated. At nighttime, we had moved into a bar in the city we were staying in. The bar was a monster - human bar, so no worries about discriminating pieces of shit. "Do you guys want something?" Alphys asks me. I smile at her. "Only a kiss from my favorite dinosaur." I say, wiggle my eyebrows and kiss her. Her face immediately reddens, causing me to laugh. "A beer is fine. Get Jess one too Alphy." Jess joins in. "You two are so cute I can't even." She laughs. The party has been going nicely so far. It wasn't a real surprise party due the fact Alex planned it while being in Sans' body. Everyone heard that after Papyrus and Alex planned it. Oh well, the party has been fun so far. Alphys comes walking back with three beers in her claws and hands one to me. "L-Look at your right!" She snickers. I turn my head to the right and see Sans and Alex (very drunkenly) dancing with each other. "We should totally head over there!" I laugh. Alphys and Jess nod, both determined and Alphys grabs my hand before walking over to the two. "Nice party eh?" I say, opening a conversation. I look at Sans, then Alex and laugh. "Wow you guys are drunk." Jess comments. Alex speaks up. "I-I'm not drunk. Let's get a tattoo." She says and attempts to run away, only to get pulled back by Sans. "I'd rather give you a kiss." He says, drunkenly as well and begins making out with her. Alphys looks at me with the same face I'm giving her. This is the oh-my-god- our-ship face. Jess squeals and we attempt to turn around, letting them make out in peace. Loud moans erupt from Sans and Alex, who are still making out. "I want you so bad." moans Alex. Oh god. "i need you." Moans Sans and begins touching her waist. "now let's take this somewhere else, shall we?" He smirks and walks out of the bar with Alex, not even looking at us. "S-Should we do something?" Alphys questions. "Uhm.. Well I don't know?" I say. "We could follow them?" I suggest and take Alphys' hand and guide her out of the bar Jess follows with a grin on her face. I wave a quick goodbye to the bartender and get greeted by the cold air. Alphys catches a glimpse of the dress Alex had been wearing and runs towards them. We only see them teleport away. "Well fuck." She swears. "What should we do?" I question. "O-Okay so d-do you remember that anime we watched.. T-the one where the friendship becomes all awkward after t-they hook up?" Alphys suggests. "Fuck yes I remember that one." "W-Well maybe we should go home and k-kind of separate them after they are done d-doing-" Alphys stutters and her face reddens. "How long of a drive is it again? I slept while you were driving." Jess says and scratches her head. "An h-hour? We couldn't find any monster friendly bars nearby." She says. "Well hop on then, because I'm gonna run. It's faster that way." I say and lift both of the girls up my back. "Are you sure?" Alphys asks me. I kiss her forehead and smile. "Heck yes! Let's do it!" I laugh and heroically throw my fist up the air before running into the night. When we eventually reached the terrain, I'm nearly out of breath. Alphys gets of my back first and grabs my hand. She smiles and begins walking (thank you Alphy) towards the campers. The lights are still on at Sans' and Alex' camper, so we check the door for any sound and enter when we hear no sound. "They are asleep." Alphys says and walks over to the bed. "A-And naked." She stutters as her face reddens. "What should we do with them?" I ask her. She is the genius out of us. "W-Well separate them?" Alphys suggests. "Maybe dress them as well?" Jess blends in. "You can pick something for Alex and dress her then. I'm not touching those two!" I say and laugh. "Ew what if I would be dressing Sans and he wakes up?" I laugh and cringe at the mental image. "Oh my god guys I just had the greatest idea. What if we pull out those Mew Mew Kissie Cutie dresses and dress them in that?" Alphys laughs. "Yes let's do that!" Jess laughs as well. I toss the keys to Alphys and let her get the dresses. I'd probably rip them apart by accident anyway. "So you wanna dress up Sans?" Jess winks. "Only if my cutie dinosaur haves a wig which I could dress him in." I laugh. A few moments later, Alphys comes back with a blonde wig and two schoolgirl outfits. Well I'm screwed I guess. Jess nods at Alphys when she gets handed the clothes and walks over to Alex. Wait maybe I should help. I lift her out of bed, not remembering she is naked. Shit she is hot. I look at Jess, who is pulling the dress over her head carefully. I let her sit on the bed and let Jess finish. "Should we move her somewhere differently?" Alphys asks nervously. I pick up Alex again and move her over to the couch. "Done." I simply say and walk over to Sans. "Oh boy." Jess says. I pick Sans up and stare at him. Well it's bones I guess. I grab him by his ribs for better balance, earning a low moan from him. I almost drop him out of shock. Alphys laughs. "I g-guess ribs are sensitive." She comments. Jess quickly pulls the dress over him and I lay the skeleton down on the bed as fast as possible. I grab the wig and apply it with some 1-day glue Alphys created. It's supposed to stick for one day and then dissolve. The three of us smirk and give each other a high five before returning to our caravan. This is going to be a great morning ***** A riddle from hell ***** "Sans what the fuck?!" I shout when I see myself in the mirror. I'm wearing a bright pink school uniform with ribbons and such. Okay what happened last night. Right after thinking that, I immediately throw up in the toilet. After that adventure, I walk over towards Sans' bed. I didn't sleep in there because I apparently crashed on the couch. Well goodbye memories of the birthday night I guess. "Sans?" I say and pull the covers of the bed off him. Wow since when did I become so cruel? "ngh.." He mumbles and pulls the covers up again. I see a fraction of something blond sticking out under the covers, so I jump on the bed and pull it. Turns out, Sans is wearing a blonde wig and the same uniform as me, only in blue. "what the fuck?" He mumbles and touches his head. Sans' eyes open when he feels hair. He looks at me and laughs. "you look cute, what are you wearing and why?" He laughs. "Well look at yourself first boneboy." I grin. Sans looks down and spots himself in the blue school uniform. "oh what the hell?" he says and tries to pull the wig off his head. "'ts not comin' off." He mumbles and winces when he pulls again. "Wait let me try." I say and grab his wig. "jeez someone glued it to my skull." Sans says and swears when I pull too hard. I apologize and look at him. He looks at me too, and at that moment we realize something. "Undyne." We say in unison and rush out the caravan. We practically kick down the door of their caravan and storm in. Undyne, Alphys and Jess are all sleeping on the couch. "okay who glued this to my head?" Sans says and points to his head. Undyne wakes up and cackles in laughter. "ALPHYS, JESS WAKE UP THIS IS GOLDEN!" She shouts, waking up the two other girls. Jess is the first to laugh, really, really hard. "Matching outfits. Relationship goals." She laughs. Oh boy do I regret coming in here. "I-It's my one day glue. It will come off tonight around one am." Alphys says and laughs a bit. "C-Can we have b-back our cosplay though?" She asks. "i dont know, can you?" Sans says in return. Oh if that dude had sunglasses and ears, he could have put them on right now. After a while, Sans and I come home. We both undress into our actual pajamas and lay on bed to watch friends on Netflix. Sans snuggles with me and blames it on the hangover he's having. "skeletons always get really tired after a hangover." He says. I put my arm around his shoulder in order for him to lay well. "so do you remember anything from last night?" Sans asks when we're in the middle of an episode. "Not one bit. You?" I say and begin stroking his hair like I would stroke Taco's fur. "nope." He says and yawns. "you're comfortable to lay on." He laughs. I laugh as well. "Yeah sure, make excuses for using my boobs as pillows." I laugh. I'm only allowing this because I'm tired. "Can I braid your hair?" I ask. Wait I don't know how to. "yeah sure." He accepts. And so begins my struggle to figure out to braid hair since I have always had short hair. By the thought of having to cook spaghetti tonight, I groan and begin to drift off. "I honestly can't see any more spaghetti. How do you keep up with eating Spaghetti for dinner every night?" I say and look at him. He turns around, so that we are almost nose (which he doesn't have, but if he had, they would touch) touching. "just drench the shit in ketchup." He says and smiles at me. He has such a cute smile I can't. When Sans and I come into the kitchen, Undyne grins at us. "Nice hair Sansyboy." She says and throws a couple of tomatoes at him, who he carefully doges and catches with his teleknetis. "ya shouldn't really be throwing these at people." He says an fires them back at Undyne. "get dunked on sucker." Sans grins and grabs a knife to cut tomatoes. I walk to the freezer to get some meat for the meatballs. I get the meat and grab a plate to roll them and throw them in a pan when they're done. "Welcome, welcome." sounds from the speaker hanging on the ceiling in the corner. "How nice that you are already working. I will not introduce myself." The screwed up voice says. "Recently there have been various bombings. Now let's play a game." It says again. Honestly, I'm scared. I look at Sans, who is staring at the speaker. "To find out where the next bombing will be, you will only have to solve this riddle." It says. I shuffle towards Sans and grab his hand. I know he has gone trough this one time, this time should be less terrible now that I am here. "Listen carefully. I'm not a pool, a tree, a slave, a website or a shirt. What am I?" He says. "I will give you three days before the bomb will explode. Good luck." I look at Sans, who looks at me with a questioning face. "the riddle changed." He says shocked. Okay you know what? Heck, this is going to be hell. ***** Manga is always helpful, trust me ***** "The riddle changed?" I say in distress when I enter the camper with Sans after spaghetti making. "yeah. i have a document on my laptop with all the riddles from last time." He says and goes to the bedroom to get his laptop. I sit on the couch and open my laptop as well. 'I'm not a pool, a tree, a slave, a website, or a shirt. What am I?' I type into a document. "I'm not a pool, a tree, a slave, a website, or a shirt." I repeat what seems like five times. Sans sit next to me and I look at his laptop. A few riddles are there, all pointing to locations. "How the fuck are we going to figure this out in only three days?" I mutter. "dunno. just waiting for a miracle or something." He says and types the riddle into the document. "the guy says he isn't a tree. does that mean he's made out of tree then?" Sans mutters. "Paper?" I say and look at him. He writes it down. "one down I guess. what does he mean with a website though. the last one was made out of paper, but you can't make something out of a website right? or does he mean social media?" Sans mutters and throws his head backward. "ugh I don't wanna deal with this shit." He says and lays his head on my shoulder. The door bursts open. "GUYS ALPHYS IS A GENIUS!" Undyne shouts and rushes into the camper. "So I told the riddle to her, and she got something out of it?" This made me and Sans look up at Undyne. "well what's the answer?" Sans says and gestures, ready to type. Alphys came into the camper too. "W-Well I didn't figure it out completely, but I figured out the tree part." "we figured out that one already. 's paper." Sans casually says. "O-Oh." Alphys says and sits down. "You did good though. Thanks." I say and smile at the lizard. "N-No problem." Alphys says when she gets handed a glass of water by Undyne, who sits on the couch as well. "okay so where were we?" Sans asks me. "Social media?" I say. "oh right. so we figured that paper is made out of trees. but what are websites, slaves, shirts or pools made out of?" He questions himself. "i mean like slaves are made out of flesh. maybe meat? nah that wouldn't make sense since paper is there." Sans mumbles and groans. "Wait don't think about what they are made out of, but what they make together." I say. "O-Oh! Like slaves make a... uh.." Alphys says and frowns. "Slaves make a group, owned by their owner. They are bound." I smirk. "you are a genius Alex!" Sans smiles. "paper that is bound.. a book?" Sans says. "W-Well we won't be entirely sure if we don't figure out the other ones." Alphys says. Undyne is just staring at us like we are three other species. "God isn't it obvious?!" She shouts and stands up. She grabs a manga, laying on the counter. "Papers that are bound, a manga has pages. It's not a website, but it has pages." She says and lays the manga in front of us. "It's not a shirt, but it has a sleeve." Undyne continues. "and the pool?" Sans asks. "Well what are we missing? It's the cover. It's not a pool, but it has a cover for when it rains. Though, you shouldn't really put your book outside." I say. Everyone is silenced for a minute and looks at each other with a big grin. The one mad scientists have when they figured out their solution. "So the answer is a book?" Undyne says. "Yes of course it is!" Alphys continues. "we'll see tomorrow if there's a library around after the drive." Sans speaks. "Can't you and Alex teleport there and see if there is one?" Undyne suggests. "nope. can't teleport to places I haven't been to." He answers. "Kay. We'll go tomorrow then. We gotta have a cool name for our bomb-detaching group though." Undyne says, picks up Alphys and stands up. "We're going to bed. See you guys later!" She says and runs out of the caravan. I stand up as well and get another glass of water. "welp. we just solved a mystery." Sans says and stands besides me to grab a glass as well. "You should write it down. Let me get drinks." I say and look at him. He nods and grabs his laptop. When I come back, I see that Netflix is already opened. "you wanna stay awake and watch Friends?" Sans smiles and grabs the glass of water from my hand. "Yeah sure." I say and sit down next to him. He rests his head on my shoulder and is fast asleep after five minutes in. I close the laptop and lay it on the coffee table and close my eyes as well. I only have to concentrate on his soft snoring for me to fall asleep as well. ***** *muffled screams from distance* ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes Waking up with a skeleton wasn't even weird for me anymore. Weird for me was though, when I woke up on the couch without a skeleton to hold me. I stand up and look in the bedroom. No skeleman there. I open the curtains and see it's still dark. It would be around 3 am I suppose. Looking outside some more, I eventually spot a skeleton with a blue hoodie, standing with his hands in his pockets and staring at the sky. I walk to the front door and open it, to rush to the spot where Sans is standing. "Hey." I say and touch his shoulder lightly, causing him to turn around with a shocked expression on his face. "hey." Sans replies. "So what is a skeleton doing at presumably 3 am outside all on his own?" I grin and look up to see the stars. There were quite a few actually, the sky is completely clear. "dunno. what's a human girl doing at presumably 3 am outside all on her own?" Sans smirks. "Answer my question bonehead." I grin and look at him. "'s nothing." He says and looks at his slippers. "Hey didn't we agree to talk to each other if something is wrong?" I say and look at him. Sans is looking quite sad actually. "There's obviously something." I conclude. There comes a little sound from Sans' mouth. It's a sob I realize. I don't even hesitate and wrap my arms around him. He wraps his arms around my waist and sobs in the shirt I'm wearing. Coming to realize, a shirt and some sweatpants aren't the best clothes to wear outside on a cold november night. I pat his back (or spine) and whisper "it's okay." several times. Eventually the sobbing lessens and he looks at me. "how did I deserve you?" He asks. I look at him and smile. "Only a couple of pickup lines and bad puns and I was in." I laugh. Sans looks at me, smiling face as ever. He moves forward and then closes the gap between us. He places his teeth on my lips and kisses me very lightly. Holy fucking crap he is kissing me. I close my eyes and return the kiss, just as lightly as he did. Sans decides to deepen the kiss while I lay my hand on his waist. I can smell the cologne he is wearing. It's the scent of something comfortable what I can't place my tongue on. Mainly because it's tangled with Sans's tongue. WAIT. Crap okay he is pulling a twilight on me. We eventually break for air and look into each others eyes. "sorry for tha- " Sans tries to say, but before he could finish his sentence I kiss him again. This time more passionately and smile while kissing. We relax and I touch his cheekbone a bit. Sans and I break the kiss and smile. "thanks." Sans grins. His face couldn't be any more smug to be honest. "Bonehead." I say and poke him. "Get inside before you freeze your skeleass off." I laugh and grab his hand to get inside again. "and you are cute." Sans says and touches my nose. I can feel myself blushing, so I get to the kitchen, turn my back to him and get a glass of water. I finish it and yawn. "wanna head to bed?" Sans asks. I nod and walk over to my side (yes I have officially claimed a piece of his property) and get under the sheets. Sans gets into bed again and cuddles against me. We make small talk for a few minutes. "Am I completely delusional or is there something between us?" I suddenly ask (and completely regret it). I hear Sans snicker behind me. "well ya ain't delusional." He says and lays his leg over mine and rubs it slightly. "i mean like I sort of really like you." Sans mumbles, just loud enough for me to hear. I turn to him and smile. "Well I sort of really like you too bonehead." Chapter End Notes "he's pulling a twilight on me" had me dead ***** It's always fun with Undyne ***** "HE KISSED YOU?!" Undyne practically swooned with a big smile on her face. We decided that I would be in Undynes camper for the ride, and Alphys in Sans'. I blush and look out of the window. Undyne is driving and I'm in the drivers seat. "Yup." I say. "DONT 'YUP' ME! I WANT DETAILS!" She shouted and accidentally honked. I snicker. "I'm serious give me details." Undyne winks. "Okay well uh.. Okay yes. We fell asleep on the couch after watching friends and then I woke up alone. Sans was outside. He probably had a nightmare. I don't know we talked and we kissed a couple of times." I say and hide my face in my hands. "WAIT A COUPLE OF TIMES?" Undyne repeats and cackles with laughter. "Anyway, want something to drink?" I attempt to change the topic. "Nope you are staying here and tell me details." And so I ended up telling Undyne about the tongue Sans has (which resulted in laughter and jokes), and how we basically confessed to each other. "Dude why aren't you in a camper with your bonedaddy?" Undyne says. I laugh (a bit too hard). "Nope that's weird. That name is absolutely ridiculous. I'll just go read something in the living room." I say and stand up. I walk to the living room and grab my phone. So far for reading I guess. 1 new message(s) from: Sansy Sansy: sup You: YOU KNOW WHATS UP PUNK Sansy: hi undyne You: FUHUHU Sansy: you are alex You: fuck how did you know Sansy: I'm cool i just know You: well hi cool I just know, im alex Sansy: i hate you You: pffffffffffff sure whatever you say Sansy: i could teleport 2 u you know You: pffffffffff You: pfffffffffffffffffffff Sansy: what ur a baloon now? You: uh You: yes You: I'm a balloon now hi Sansy: WELL HI A BALLOON NOW HI IM SANS You: i just made that joke you're so unfunny Sansy: and ur cute You: <3333333333 Sansy: ur dad must be a drug dealer, cus ur dope You: wow that was cheesy You: apart from the fact that my dad moved away when he heard my mother was pregnant with me, it was a good pick up line Sansy: oh Sansy: sorry You: nah dont be Sansy: are your friends terrorists because you sure are the bomb You: ....... You: okay ill give you credit for that one Sansy: ha "Is it your turn yet?!" Undyne shouts from the drivers seat. "Don't know!" I shout back. "Do you want to switch?" I ask her. "Wait what are you doing right now?" She shouts. I should just walk over there but I'm laying quite comfortably right now. "Uhm.. Texting Sans." I answer. Undyne cackles in laughter. "Return to what you were doing with your lover! I'll drive." Undyne yells. I return to my phone again. Sansy: bae u there Sansy: did you crash or something Sansy: what You: undyne asked if i wanted to switch. after telling that i was texting you she said she would drive You: score Sansy: nice Sansy: so she is like driving rn? You: i don't know. is she You: vocaloids are blasting out of the speakers oml Sansy: hold on You: k I look up from my phone and lay it down on the couch. I walk towards the fridge, get a can of soda and pop it open. I drink a bit and begin the search for cookies. Suddenly, there appear two hands on my shoulders, causing me to shake and throw a bit of the soda over the person behind me. "jeez. getting this out of my shirt will be soda-pressing." Sans says and kisses my cheek. "Want one too?" I offer, open the fridge and throw a can at him. "y'know, I once told a joke, and seven people liked it." He grins. "i got seven ups." Sans laughs. I snort and grab a towel to dab the soda out of his shirt. Suddenly, Sans kisses me again. I practically melt and return the kiss. I let go of the towel and lay my arms on his shoulders. He lays his arms on my waist and licks my bottom lip, asking for permission. I deny playfully, immediately getting swung over by Sans and resulting into sliding his tongue in my mouth. After a good period of making out, we hear laughter behind us. Oh no. Fuck no why me. "The punks are canon!" She shouts and throws her arm victoriously in the air. I look at Sans, who is as flustered as me and shrugs. "Good thing that I have pictures." Undyne laughs. Why. "By the way, we are here." She says. "Didn't we have a bomb to defuse in one day?" I nod and open the camper, still holding hands with Sans. Alphys is waiting in front of our camper with the biggest grin on her face. "S-So you guys are l- like a thing n-now?" She stutters and flushes red. "Uhm.." I say and look at Sans. He looks just as lost as I do. Ugh these people. "dunno. but what I do know is that we have to get to a place with a lot of books." Sans says and casually changes the subject. Smooth going. "Y-Yes! Let's see if there's a library or something." I say and so we begin our search. Time to solve a crime! ***** B O O M ***** After five hours of searching, turns out that there isn't a library on the terrain. Neither is there in the city we are close to. "what the hell are we suppose to do now?!" Sans says and begins walking in circles. "books, books, books. where the hell are we suppose to find books?" he growls. "and it's five AM already. We only have one hour left dammit." "And we have to get ready to make pasta." I interrupt his rant. "the pasta can suck my ass. I don't want that bomb exploding." Sans continues his rant. He stops walking and looks angrily at the ground. "G-Guys we m-may have found the s-solution." Alphys suddenly says. All of our heads turn to her. "W-Well what if we just throw away every book on the terrain?" She stutters. "yeah it's not like that's gonna take ages." Sans says. "Hey now she had a plan! Stop fucking complaining and use those powers of yours to delete those books or something!" Undyne growls. "yeah but maybe I don't want to. that's a shitty idea and you know it!" Sans says and his eye flares blue. "Hey what the fuck?" Undyne continues. "She had a good idea and you know it!" She says and wraps her arm around Alphys. "well I don't care? It's going to take ages to get rid of all the books." Sans protests. Fuck what should I do? We only have fifty minutes left and the only idea we have is to get rid of all the books on the terrain. "Guys stop fighting please." I say. "Whose side are you on Alex?" Undyne says. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. "I'm on Alphys' side." I say. The way Sans looks at me is indescribable. He has a mix of anger and sadness(?) plastered on his face. "i see how it is." He says and walks out of the caravan. What..? "Hey come back here!" Undyne shouts at him, before he teleports away. "What the fuck." I mutter. "W-Well we only have 45 minutes left. W-We better get going." Alphys says and walks out of the camper. Undyne and I follow in silence. "We first have to make sure that we remove all the books from stage and the field." I say. "We'll keep most people save that way." I continue. They nod and get to work. After forty minutes of hard work, we stand in silence. All the books found on the stage or backstage were thrown away. None of them looked suspicious though. "It's a little weird, isn't it?" I say. "None of the books looked suspiciously." I continue. "W-Wait." Alphys says and stands still. "W-We have m-manga r-right?" She says with a trembling voice. "A-And you two have your f- fair share of books too.. Do you think..?" Shit no, no, no. "Fuck." I mutter and begin running to the caravan. I open the door and hear a faint beep. It's coming from Sans' joke book. I open it slightly and see a timer with bright green letters. 00:00:10 seconds on the clock. "GET OUT OF HERE!" I scream, grab Taco and run out of the caravan. Undyne and Alphys look at me questioningly before running with me. Boom. I hear and turn around. A sea of bright yellow and orange explosions come from the campers. All the campers. "Jesus." I swear and hold Taco tightly. "I swear if I ever see that bomber I'll kill them with my own hands." Undyne growls. "guys are you all right?" Sans' voice says and appears next to me. We all shoot a glare to him. "If you didn't flee, we could have saved this all." Undyne growls again. Sans looks at the burning mess that were our campers. "jesus." he mutters. "Thanks for your commitment Sans." I say sarcastically. "Now everything is gone." I say and look him straight in the eye. He attempts to wrap his arms around me, but I hit them away. "Fuck you and your hugs." Okay I might be going a little too far. "fine then." He says and teleports away. Well I fucked up. ***** you did a great job of raisin me ***** Making pasta without Sans was weird. Everyone was still processing that we didn't have a home to stay anymore. Undyne was throwing all of her anger in cutting the tomatoes, resulting in those sticking to the walls and ceiling. For me, what I regretted the most was yelling at Sans. I mean, he kind of deserved it, but I shouldn't have yelled at him. We eventually threw all the ingredients together and made pasta, not caring about it that much. Even Papyrus' mind wasn't on the pasta tonight, and that says something. After the show, Mettaton and Alphys came in, using the back door of the kitchen. "Darlings, we called my manager and he said that he would have a tour bus arranged for us tonight." Mettaton announces and looks around. "Where's Sans?" He asks and looks at me. I clear my throat. "Off." I simply say, not wanting to talk about it anymore. "W-Well I c-can help clean up and then wait for the bus." Alphys says and smiles at us in an understanding way. Later at night, the bus arrives which results Undyne, Alphys, Mettaton, Papyrus and me in clapping loudly. We thanked Mettaton's manager before taking the keys. "I also brought five sleeping bags for the five of you." The man says and smiles at us. "Thanks Dan." Mettaton smiles. "No problem. If there's something, hit me up." He says and walks away. Mettaton opens the doors of the tour bus (quite dramatically) and reveals the inside. I guess the word 'pink' describes it the best. There were a pink carpet and pink walls, with a kitchen and a big bathroom in it. There is a long, grey couch and three (really comfortably) looking beds. It might look really stuffed at first sight, but the designers made sure there was enough space to walk. Looking up, I notice there is even hanging a small chandelier on the ceiling. "Go get your sack of bones." Undyne says, ripping me from my thoughts. I nod and walk outside. Where the hell do I even look? I decide to walk a bit on the field and then yell his name. No response. "Sans?!" I try again and make my way to the exploded campers. The firefighters had stopped the fire at last. I see him sitting at the place our camper was supposed to be. "Sans?" I say and run over to him. "what." Sans asks and stares at the ground. "I'm sorry okay? I shouldn't have yelled at you." I try. He stay silent and doesn't move. Dammit. "What can I say to convince you that I'm sorry?" I try again. "nah, I was stupid. I was being stressed and being a suborn brat. i just didn't want you or the others to die and the timeline to fuck up again." He says, stands up and hugs me. He buries his head in the sweater I'm wearing. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He continuously says and sobs. "now it's all gone and it's my fault." "Hey don't blame yourself for this. We wouldn't have ever cleared the whole terrain in forty minutes, even with your help. It's okay. We still got each other and that's what counts." I smile. "Now look at me." I say. He does so and I kiss the space between his eyes, above his nasal bone. "By the way I like your hugs very much." I laugh. Sans laughs as well and gives me a quick kiss before grabbing my hand. "Oh by the way, we have a gigantic tour bus now." I announce and walk towards the bus, with Sans' hand in mine. "it's.. pink." Sans says when he enters the bus. "Yeah I know. Looks comfy right?" I say and get tackled by Undyne. "All right I'm tired, Alphie is too and Mettaton and Papyrus got the bed, so we are going to bed." She announces and throws a sleeping bag at me. "Oh by the way, you gotta share with Sans because we don't have enough of these." She smirks and claps her hands, making the lights switch off. "Well dress out and go to sleep." Undyne says. "in what?" Sans smirks. "Right.. I suppose it's the perfect day to see each other naked." She laughs and returns to the couch, where Alphys is already sleeping in her sleeping bag. Sans walks over to the couch (which looks less comfortable than Undyne's) and lays the sleeping bag on there. He takes off his hoodie and shirt, exposing his ribs. I feel that I'm blushing, but I just stare. Sans turns around and smirks at me. "take a picture, it lasts longer." He says and gets in the sleeping bag. "Well if I was a photographer, I would picture us together." I wink and take off my bra and pants, making it as comfortable as it gets. I look at Sans, who is intensely staring at me. "Take a picture, it lasts longer." I say and step over him, to get in the sleeping bag as well. "maybe I already did." Sans winks. "You didn't." I say and turn to him. "that's right, i didn't." He smirks and kisses me on the lips. I smile as he lays his arms around my waste. I lay mine on his hips, and feel something cardboard-y in his pocket. I make a soft hum and quickly slide my hand in his pocket. He tenses up. "uhm.." He says while I'm examining it. "Why do you have raisins in your pocket?" I snicker. "well this was actually meant for after when the imaginary library didn't explode, but do you like raisins?" He asks. "I suppose, yeah?" I say and laugh. "then how about a date?" Sans asks and wiggles his eyebrows. "I'd like that." "that's nice." He says and snuggles his head in between the space of my neck and shoulders. Eventually we both fall asleep, both with smiles on our faces. ***** dad ***** I woke up with my arms wrapped around the skeleton who was laying in front of me. Sans was still asleep and had his arms tightly wrapped around my waist. I open my eyes and smile at his sleeping face. I grab Sans' phone, which had been laying next to him and see it's 1:32 PM already. "Sans?" I whisper and pinch his cheek. He grumbles and buries his skull into my shoulder. "Sans get up I can't move." I whisper again and tap on his skull with my nail. "stop.. feels weird. five more minutes." He says in a raspy tone and removes my hand from his skull by grabbing it and holding it tightly. Since I don't really feel like waiting five minutes, evil plans begin to form in my head. I smirk and get closer to Sans's collarbone and lick it really slowly. With my hand, I slowly rub his rib. I feel him shudder, groan and open his eyes and remove his hands. "You awake now?" I smirk and zip open the sleeping bag. "nope. I'm still sleeping." He says and closes his eye sockets again. I sigh as he grabs my waist and just give in to the extra hours of sleep. "NYEH SANS AND ALEX YOU HAVE SLEPT FOR TWELVE HOURS ALREADY!? GET UP!" Obviously Papyrus shouts at us after sleeping in. I open my eyes and get greeted by Papyrus, arms crossed and his usual expression on his face. "Morning Paps." I say and get out of the sleeping bag. "SANS YOU TOO!" Papyrus groans as I am putting on some pants. "I'm up already jeez." Sans groans and turns. "NO, NO, NO! THERE IS SOMEONE FOR YOU AT THE DOOR!" Papyrus shouts and lifts Sans out of the comfortable pile of cloth. "who is it?" Sans asks as he quickly puts on a shirt and a sweater. "IT'S BARUS? I DON'T KNOW, I FORGOT HIS NAME." I look anxiously at the door, then at Papyrus. "Bacchus?" I suggest. Papyrus turns around with a smile. "YES THAT IS THE NAME. NOW GO OUTSIDE YOU TWO!" He continues and pushes us outside the door. The old man with short, brown, curly hair and a beard was sitting with his head between his knees when we came outside. "Hey are you all right?" I say and sit next to him. Wait i should look out. This dude almost choked me to death. "I'm sorry." He says with a trembling voice. "I.. I hear voices y-you see." He continues. I look at Sans with a questioning expression and turn back to the man. "Voices?" I question. Sans sits next to me and observes the man. "One voice." Bacchus says and looks at me. His face is stained with tears and he has red and puffy eyes from crying. "A month ago, a m-man.. no, rather... shadow? Approached me in my sleep." Bacchus starts. "It promised me life.. for my soul?" He says. Sans's mouth drops. "I accepted the offer.. I have lung cancer you see? I have two kids and a loving wife. I can't let them behind when I die. My one kid is three.. and the o-other.. is seven." Bacchus says before crying. I pat him on his back. "This shadow takes over my body sometimes.. I don't know what is happening to me. That is why I came here." He explains. "what does the shadow look like?" Sans questions. I look at him with a 'what- the-fuck-why-would-you-say-this-right-now-face' and shake my head. "It's.. b- black w-with a skull sha-ped h-h-head. The e-eyes are p-pretty misformed." He says and sobs. "I dont know w-what is happening to me. C-Can you t-two help me?" Bacchus asks and looks at me hopefully while tears are streaming down his face. "I think we can." I say. "Thank you, thank you, thank you." He says gratefully and shakes my hand before walking away again. "What does the shadow look like? Really Sans?" I say and walk inside again. "it's gaster." He says and sits on the couch. "Who?" "gaster. he's back." ***** have u noticed i dont really care about chapter titles anymore ***** Mettaton woke up in Alex' body and smirked. Finally, he would be in a human body. He sat up and looked at his robotic body. Alex seemed to be waking up as well. "YOU ARE AWAKE METTATON!" Papyrus says excitedly and picks him up. "YOU ARE STILL GREAT EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE IN ANOTHER BODY." He compliments him. "Thank you Papy dear~" Mettaton says and trails his index-finger down his chin. Alex clears her throat, and looks at them with crossed arms. Mettaton giggles, and Papyrus blushes orange. "Please don't do that in my body, thanks." Alex says and looks at her body. "Jesus." She says and stands up. Mettaton stands up as well and strikes a pose. Rusty Mettaton thinks and smirks to himself. "Darling, just follow my lead." Mettaton says and strikes a pose again. Alex follows and strikes the same pose. Papyrus does too. This repeats itself a couple of times and then, Mettaton claps his hands. "Okay, we have half an hour left, and we still have to give you a microphone. You know how to use a microphone right?" Mettaton says and walks towards the stage. "Of course! Relax, what can go wrong?" Alex says and laughs to herself. Not a really convincing laugh that is. After a while, Mettaton goes to the cafeteria to pull some pranks. You have to make fun while being in another body right? He sees Sans sitting in one of the chairs and smirks to himself. "sup A-Slice." Sans greets him. "Heya Sansy." Mettaton tries to casually greet him. "sansy?" He laughs. Mettaton goes to sit in his lap, flustering Sans quite a bit. "what did the toaster want?" Sans asks. The toaster? Oh you are going to get it Sans. What goes around, comes around right? "I dunno.. Toaster stuff?" Mettaton says, acting as much as Alex as possible. Sans hums. Mettaton smirks and leans forward a bit. He places his arms on his shoulders and begins to grind on his lap. "A-Alex?" Sans says, flushing blue. Mettaton smirks devishly and continues. "We are l-literally in a public p-p-place." He stutters. "I don't care." Mettaton speaks and suddenly jumps off Sans, and strikes a pose, by throwing his leg in the air. Unfortunately he slips and falls on his butt. Mettaton whimpers. "okay what is going on?" Sans asks. Papyrus enters and looks at Mettaton. "METTATON, ARE YOU HURT?" He shouts, runs towards him and picks him up. "wait, mettaton?" Sans asked confusedly. "Payback for calling me a toaster darling~" Mettaton laughs and looks outside the window. "That.. That isn't how my show is supposed to go..?" He says to himself. Papyrus carries him towards the window. Mettaton sees his body sitting on the edge of the stage, interviewing some teenager. "seems like Alex is improvising. don't worry, she's a smartass. it will be okay." Sans reassures Mettaton and pats his back. "I WILL BE DOING A MEET AND GREET IN THE BREAK!" She announces. "what." Sans says. "What is she doing.." Mettaton says. "I AM SURE ALEX WILL DO GREAT!" "yeah, me too bro." Sans smiles. ***** A lot of selfies and signing on foreheads basically ***** Chapter Notes So little backstory on this chapter, some of you know that i originally posted this on wattpad. I had just reached 10K views and this was like the 10K special for it. I picked out names from the readers that were reading my story from the beginning when started uploading. so yeah that, hope you enjoy this bonus chapter "ALEX I AM IN THE NEED OF HELP!" Papyrus shouted while spaghetti making. I look up from my tomatoes to see a papyrus with a very worried face in front of me. "What's up?" I say casually and continue cutting tomatoes. "IT'S METTATON! HE IS SICK AND SAYS HE CAN'T PERFORM!" He says and picks me up. Wait fuck what. Papyrus picks me up and holds me under his arm before running out of the kitchen. When we reach the pink tour bus, Mettaton is laying on a bed with an ice-pack on his face. "Oh darling you are here." He smiles. Papyrus drops me on the bed gently and pats my head. "I have something to ask of you darling.." He says and dramatically coughs. "I am sick. Alphys made this potion, which allows us to switch bodies." Mettaton coughs again. Oh hell no. "Can you perform my show?" He asks. Uhm.. what. "Ehr.." I mumble. "I don't know I think I guess I could?" I say. Okay no I regret this why did I do this. "DARLING THAT IS MAGNIFICENT!" He says and jumps up. "ALPHYS DARLING?~" He shouts. Okay so he isn't that sick at all.. "Y-Yes Mettaton?" Alphys stutters and comes running into the bedroom. "Alex is willing to take over this night's show.. Can you please fetch that potion of yours?" Mettaton says and blinks with his eyes a few times. "O-Of course Mettaton." She says and walks towards her little stash of things that had been saved from the explosion. So basically, that is how I became a robot for one night. I blink my eyes and look at my body in the mirror. "Jesus." I say and turn around. "Darling, try posing?" Mettaton says, being in my body. He actually strikes a pose which allows the leg from my body to go all the way up to my face, shaping it in a vertical line with my other leg. Okay I didn't know that was possible. I strike the pose as well, earning an applause from both Papyrus and Mettaton. I try some other poses, which include showing off my legs some more. Mettaton anxiously looks at my phone to check the time and clears his throat. "We have less than half an hour. Remember, if you don't remember the text, just make up something or improvise." He says and grabs my hand. "Isn't that literally the same thing?" I laugh. Mettaton laughs nervously and walks me towards the stage. "You have to get a microphone. You know how to speak in a microphone right?" He asks and glanced at me with a worried face. "Yeah no problem. I got this." I don't got this. I walk on stage, very dramatically, and get greeted by hundreds of fans. They are all yelling and screaming and fangirling. "HELLO DARLINGS~" I say into the microphone and laugh. Okay, I have heard this concert over and over. I have learned all the songs by heart because of Jess. What can go wrong. Everything basically. Half an hour in, I'm kind of trembling in fear while singing a happy song. Man up Alex, you are Mettaton, an overdramatic calculator with amazing legs. "HOW ARE YOU ALL ENJOYING YOURSELVES?" I shout, and get comforted by tons of people screaming. "Spots on me please." I say to the people working backstage. They look confusedly at me and turn off the lights, followed by a single white spot on me. I walk towards the edge of the stage and go sit down. I'm giving them something special tonight. Okay no that sounded wrong scratch that. I laugh to myself and then hold the microphone to my face. "Enough about me already. How about you?" I say and take a deep breath. "All the spots are always on me. How about being them on you tonight." I say and look at the backstage guys again. "Can I get a spotlight next to me please?" I ask politely. A guy from the audio team comes walking to me with a spotlight, connects them to the stage and turns it on. I grab the spotlight and shine it on a teenager. "You for example. Would you mind to come forward?" I smile. I'm really not behaving like Mettaton. Oh well, fuck it. The teenager comes forward and I help them to sit on the edge of the stage. "What's your name?" I ask and hand a microphone to them. "I-I'm Maia." They say and sob. "Oh my god I can't believe this I just love you so much okay." They laugh trough their sobs and hug me. I pat them on the back. After the teenager had left the stage, I stood up again and nodded to backstage guys. "SO WE HAVE A HALF OF AN HOUR LEFT BEFORE THE BREAK! WHO IS READY TO SING?" I say and laugh quite charmingly. Everyone applauds. I end up singing a few songs that I actually remembered and getting rid of my light stage fright. That rhymes. "Did you know that I'm doing a meet and greet in the break?" I say between my songs. "It's in the cafeteria. You can have delicious spaghetti there cooked by a great team." I smile. Everyone cheers in joy. I announce the break and rush towards the cafeteria. Okay I haven't planned this out at all. I snicker to myself before sitting in a booth. I see Sans standing in the kitchen. "Oh Sansy darling~!" I say and laugh a bit to myself. "sup Alex." He says and comes to sit next to me. "Hey how did you know it's me?" I say. "oh well mettaton tried to do a pose in your body. it was really funny." He snickers. "By the way, you should get some spaghetti. Like, a lot. I plan on having a few people coming over." I say. Immediately, I feel the ground trembling and the door opens. A huge crowd of people runs in and screams when they see me. I awkwardly wave, already regretting that I have chosen to sit in a corner. "what the fuck." Sans says and disappears. "Hello Darlings!" I shout. "Everyone, form a nice row please." I say. Everyone does as told. Holy fuck I feel powerful. The first person comes up to me and asks to sign their T-Shirt. "Hey! How are you? What's your name darling?" I ask and smile as I sign their T-Shirt with 'MTT' written poorly on it. "I-I'm Rose." She says and smiles. "I appreciate you very much. You make my days better." She smiles. I stand up to give her a hug. "Thank you darling." I say. "I recommend the pasta by the way." I laugh. She nods and gets some pasta. The next person comes to greet me and gives me a hug immediately. "Hey! What's your name?" I ask. "May I just say that you look absolutely fabulous?" I wink. Wait no I have Papyrus. Or Mettaton has. This is complicated. "I'm Sorcha." They say. "You look fantastic too MTT!" They say and wink. I take a selfie with them and they get pasta too. I sit down on the table and greet a group of three, vlogging. "Say hello to OurTube Mettaton!" They say and wave into the camera. I wave and smile. "Hello OurTube!" I laugh. "What could your names be?" I say and look at them. "I'm Kadkins, the dork over there is Mal, and next to them is Peach." They say. I laugh. "Do you guys want a selfie?" I offer. Holy shit I just could be a top idol. I'm actually very much enjoying this. They accept and take out their phones, while Mal holds the camera. They leave too and the next one comes in. "Hi Mettaton!" They say and give me a hug. "I'm Alex and I love you." They smile. Same name. "It's so good meeting you!" I say and smile. "Do you want something signed or a selfie? Or both?" I offer again. They nod and point to their forehead. I laugh and take the sharpie and write MTT on their forehead. There are questionable people in this world and my name-bud is one of them. I take a selfie with them and they leave for pasta. A big group of eight people comes forward and smiles at me. "Hello Darlings!" I say and look at them. "What are your names?" I ask. "I'm Stephie." "I'm Pauleene." "Lexie is the name." "Madison and Mettaton, Perfect match!" "Sam! Ends with the Letter M!" "I'm Fox, I'm sorry for Sam and Madison." "An I'm Sarah." They introduce themselves. I laugh again and give them each a hug. "Can we take a selfie?" Pauleene asks and reaches for their phone. "Yeah sure." I accept. Madison and Sam strike a dramatic position, so do I. Stephie makes a peace sign with their fingers and Pauleene and Lexie stand there like they are proposing to me. Finally, Sarah has some great double-chin action. They leave for pasta as well. Oh Papyrus will be so happy with me. What will Mettaton think of this though? "Hello darlings! What are your names?" I say as a group of six is walking towards me. They introduce themselves. "I'm Aaliyah!" One says and strikes a heroic pose. "Just call me Neko." One says. They actually have cat ears, wow. "I'm Cyndle." One says and shakes my hand while blushing a bit. I smile kindly at them. "Ivy is the name." One says and smile. "Lili." Another one says. "Harry potter." I mumble and smile. Lili's face seems to light up at that. "You are a potterhead?" Someone says. "Oh I'm Chloe by the way." They wave. "Yup! I simply adore the series!" I say and smile. After a long chat about the books, they leave. The final group of four shuffles forward. "Hey guys!" I say. Don't let Alex slip out. "How are you today?" I ask. "I'm fine! And you are fine too!" Someone says. I laugh. "Samantha." They say and wink. "Quite the charmer I see." I say and wink back. I'm enjoying this so much shit. "I'm Sapphire!" One says. "No ice puns for Sapphire." Someone says. I laugh. "What the hail." I say trough laughing. Everyone is quiet and starts howling with laughter. "That was a good one! I'm Jilio by the way." I say and shake hands with the pun making human. The last one for the meet and greet hands me a drawing. "I made this for you. I didn't actually think i could get the chance to.. but I did it I guess?" They say. "I'm Luna by the way." They say as I'm unfolding the drawing. It's a drawing of Mettaton on stage somewhere. "I love it so much! I love your art style!" I say and hug them. "What art style?" They joke. "You are an amazing drawer. Keep up the good work hun." I say. "Haha yes I wish." They say. I kneel and look at them in all seriousness. "Stop wishing and start doing. Your art is amazing and you should draw." I say. Everyone has returned to the stage again and screams when I come walking up the stage. "WHO IS READY FOR THE NEXT PART?" I yell into the microphone. Let's do this. End Notes If you enjoyed this chapter, let me know! Follow me on social media! 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