Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1863660.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Major_Character_Death, Rape/Non-Con,
      Underage
  Category:
      Multi
  Fandom:
      Tomb_Raider_(Video_Game)
  Relationship:
      Lara_Croft/OC, Lara_Croft/Samantha_Nishimura
  Character:
      Lara_Croft, OC_-_Character, Conrad_Roth, sam_nishimura
  Additional Tags:
      Hurt/Comfort, Love, Love_Confessions, Action/Adventure, Survival_Horror,
      Violence, Sexual_Violence, Gang_Violence, Murder, Rape/Non-con_Elements,
      Recovery, Rape_Recovery, Fights, Intellect, Mind_Manipulation,
      Psychological_Drama, Emotional/Psychological_Abuse, Mind_Control
      Aftermath_&_Recovery, Injury_Recovery, Major_Character_Injury, Major
      Original_Character(s), Intelligence_-_Freeform, Friendship, Friends_to
      Lovers, Friendship/Love, triumph, Victory, Battle
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-07-05 Words: 6135
****** Chasm Isles ******
by NebulaViburnum
Summary
     This is a work focused on the Islanders or Solarii of Tomb Raider
     2013. I thought they were really a marginalized bunch in the game.
     Stereotyped into island hillbillies or cannibals of old. I know that
     they are insane but even Lara at one point says that they are not
     totally without credibility. Though I like a game a lot I was annoyed
     at how Lara never sympathises with the Solarii even when you can
     easily hear dialogues of their moods. Yes, she had to kill them as
     that;s the game objective but she easily in the game doesn't at all
     gives a rat's ass to any of them even after seeing the horrors they
     too are subjugated too. My story is about a Solarii named Yoshiyuki
     Hibban Nghiem, born to a Vietnamese father and a Middle Eastern-
     Japanese mother and how he is actually not one with the Solarii.
     Never an islander or an outsider he makes friends with dissenters and
     fanatics alike within this cultish clan and tries to assassinate
     Mathias while trying to not fall in love with Lara. So yeah, it's a
     bit of a revision of the story but it centers both on Lara and
     everyone also most importantly the Solarii.
 
To Mrs. Akihiko Yamazaki [a.y.zamini@gmail.com]  27 June, 2008
 
Mom, I am alive. 

I am alive 
You were somewhat right about Yamatai.
I am shipwrecked and on the ruins of it. It's horrible. I am using this
broadcast illegally. If the islanders find out
they will kill me. 
I am using a terminal that can fail any moment. 

I may never see you again but I love you very much.
I love you very much
 
Y.H. Nghiem
 
 
My signature usually just translates as Y.H. Nghiem. It's an odd one. Nghiem is
very naturally Vietnamese but my more darker skin than regular Vietnamese
people set me apart or so I think. I have wavy type hair. And my eyes are
heterochromatic. Broad deep brown in one. Other slightly gray. Everything about
my build suggests hybrid. I am. My middle name Hibban is Urdu which is owed to
the ghazals my mother loved. She was also a hybrid; Middle Eastern and
Japanese. It was because of her that I heard of  Yamatai. It was a story she
said at times. Like she talked about various Middle Eastern supernaturals and
Japanese spirits. However, she did say that she always thought that Yamatai was
an era in Japan that cemented it's sequestered states with the world. For good
reason, she used to mention, for  Himiko, the sun queen, had to be controlled
as well. She mentioned that Himiko was cursed when she was born that she could
not leave her water-bound home. Mom said that is why Himiko was so angry that
she summoned storms; though she knows there are many God Blessed people who
could do that, Mom mentioned the word "abuse"; Yeah Himiko abused her powers.
When she was born she was just a low noble and then she killed her parents,
guards and then performed regicide and became ruler. Or so, that's how the
story goes. Mom said that Himiko could not leave Yamatai. That was her enclosed
orbit. But she tried to control things via negotiators. Mom then said that
Himiko always tried to transcend her bodily limitations. I always wondered what
that meant.
 
Now that I know I think I was better off not knowing.
 
The first night I shivered. It was cold. It was damp. I was suffering from
fever. Blocks in my memory. So, when they came I honestly answered: "I don't
know." what I was doing in a slightly militaristic vessel that split open like
 a damaged egg in a stirred soapy soup bowl. The Solarii as they were called
were an army, a cult, a something on the island. The islanders consisted of
them and the zombie-like Oni. They did not resemble the Oni of my Mom's tales.
Too human even in their twisted forms. Or, so I opinionated. But that happened
eight years ago. I am getting back my memory. I know my mission. However, it's
so hard to execute an execution. I wasn't really supposed to a replacement for
that organization. The replacement was killed after a week of not being with
those Solarii. The poor man: he still remembered his mission. I did not.  I
don't care about some hand me down mission.I adjusted a bit. I knew killing the
leader out of the blue wouldn't result in much. Those loyal to him would kill
me and I am not an outsider; I can't just escape. First, my memory was so
muddled that the first three years were spent in trying to string the ornaments
in that band. Then came the anger that my organization didn't give a crap about
if we (the replacement and I) were even alive. It has been eight years and they
have yet sent anyone else. Either they were involved in something else or they
were actually waiting for something big to happen. Himiko can't leave Yamatai.
But maybe her half-dead body can be subdued and then transported? Are those
bastards thinking that? Fuck, no wonder they don't care. They are also, without
being too obvious, letting the fanatics of the Solarri do all the work for
them. How fastidious of them. I could use a emoticon. When I left I just
started getting into the Internet. I still use the net via pirate satellites
routers. It's a lot of work and it hardly ever succeeds. I had a mail in my old
yahoo account. Took me a month or two to resuscitate. I found an old email that
my Mom had sent to me (probably out of nostalgia and grief) of her address
@gmail. I just wrote to her. I didn't know if I would survive but I don't want
to lose her entirely. Maybe, it's selfish of me. But I am her only child. And
Dad passed by over 15 years ago. At least for a moment I didn't want to feel
alone and severed.
With my remaining strength and last amount of illegally harvested wire I
contacted the organisation. Told them about the death of the replacement and
how bloody shoddy fucks they are to leave me a twenty year old then abandoned
to these fucks. I don't know who was worst. Them or them. They replied in
haste:
Kill Mathias. Then secure Star phenomenon. 
Endurance ship inbound. Find Conrad Roth and his personnel. Experienced.
Use them to fulfill your mission.

I wrote to them back in 2008 and had like static net for all I knew, however,
one day mid-2013 and I was like What the, why now? I was correct. They only use
people. Now, some poor guys are coming and they want me to use them. Not a
chance. I am going to try to finally leave. I didn't kill Mathias sooner
because I really had no scope and I really didn't have a plan. No true
resources either. I also gave way to a massive depression. Oh God was it bloody
fucked. I think God saved my sanity. Dealing with both fucked up Solarii and
the decent ones take a toll on you. I want to escape this place. I know t'll
stay with me. Even the organisation. But I can leave the geographic boundaries
can't I? I will get Roth to trust me. God help me I will. I will tell him as
much as I can know and after that I am going to get rid of that ex-military
trash Mathias. 
I don't know much about him. But I knew Mathias had become a military teacher
after coming back from all these recurring wars that blast the globe here and
then. Like  Jack of The Lord of the Flies he was manipulating the fresh
soldiers and scared new field agents. Convinced them that they could go out to
sea and get help for them. Then watched Himiko's haywire strength pummel them.
If any one of these knew what they were up against they would have just said
"no". But by that time Mathias was bored of being in the military. Himiko was a
romantic muse. In some twisted way he wanted this lady witch to adore him like
a lover. I know it. That is why he never allowed other women to stay alive.
Despite sacrifices he just couldn't stand any other woman except Himiko. This
was his fantasy. It was not supposed to be so nightmarish. Blame it on the wars
he fought. They crippled his humane imagination. Only he feels he can fight via
violence and rape the landscape to get his needs. In the last days of the
Vietnam war he had pillaged, killed, brutalized — made to and at times was also
told to molest. Himiko is the woman who makes him believe he is fighting for
the side of humanity he betrayed. With her Asian features and power she is like
reclamation in a designed Japanese bottle.
===============================================================================
 
The first couple of hours I was left hanging. They shot my replacement but he
didn't immediately die. He became food for the cursed ones. Some of them too
wrecked to ever become Solarii. So they became like human drones. Just destroy.
The cursed ones ate him, tore him, limb and limb ripped as though he was
polythene wrap of a gaming console.
Then I was sent to them. However, I did not eat human flesh I found a clean
source of water. Clean enough ... and drank from that. There were some fruit
here and there. I just couldn't bring myself to taste human flesh. After seeing
how it was obtained. At times I did get weak. I wanted to eat it for I was
really starving. But God knows how I restrained myself I just couldn't kill
someone like some rabid dog. After a week and a day a man gave me some food.
"Father Mathias seen you ain't going mad; he a bit concerned about that."
I was too easy busy ravaging up the food, it was fish and some vegetables. It
was a banquet.
"But, he sees your journals and knows you are a researcher. A good one. Gonna
need someone like that to help making more stuff about the island."
"More." I looked hungrily.
"You gotta lift your weight to get more."
"More..." I was weak.
"Fuck you." But he gave me some more.
"You survive two more weeks here." The man instructed, "There is a final test.
I will feed ya. Mathias doesn't mind ya eating a bit of these. Ain't be much. A
bread, some water. This is just complimentary."
I couldn't care. I wanted to eat in peace.
"By the way I am Nikolai." This he spoke softly.
I finished. Looked up. V omitted a bit.
"Yeah, you can't eat too much on an  empty stomach." patting my back as I
struggled to hold my stomach. Love the food you bitch! I cursed my gut.
"I am..." I gargled a bit as he feed me water, "Yoshiyuki Hibban Nghiem."
"Nikolai Arnauld Yerofeyev"
For some time he played with my hair. I got a bit uncomfortable. "Don't mind me
saying this; you are very beautiful. Especially your bluish gray eye and your
yellow brown eye. Such wicked different eyes. I feel a many fair maidens
probably try to lap you up. Many men as well I think."
I didn't know to blush or to be afraid.
"If you don't mind." Nikolai said before leaving, "As long as you are alive I
would like to court you."
I saw this  tall, tanned Russian blonde looked at me with a softness of mud and
the hard lust of a rock. I did not understand his attraction. I was always a
bit reserved. Romances were not for me. And I have never really thought of
another man as a lover.
===============================================================================
 
 
 
I took the stone and bashed it at the skull of a miscreant. They howled, they
jostled — "Smooth skinned man. Want to eat."
I get bashing as I saw the pinkish grey red evidence of brains come out.
Mathias test was simple. Kill as many cursed ones. Survive for a day. The
cursed ones were told that if they get to kill me they would get out or get a
geast alongside eating me. I was scrapped. My left arms was gnawed and
bleeding. I was weak. These bastards were in hordes. It was now or never. I had
to fight. I couldn't lose. I just couldn't. They were hugging the walls as
parasites; devouring shadows and rays like they were anchored in blasts and
darkness. I had to move fast.
I kept the large rock. For smashing. But I took a piece of old arrow from some
dead decaying carcass and — plunged it in the neck of a beast that once
resembled a man. I jammed it in hard but then got it out. And did that to
another one. And another. Then the arrow broke and at scratched and clawed at
the neck of one of the cretins. 
I got up got to kicking as they bit into my leg. I guess they like eating from
down to up. Or just go for the neck. 
I took the rock — but it fell from my hand — as one of them almost bit of my
index finger but dug into my palm. It was thankfully my left hand. I threw dirt
in one of their eyes and soon he buckled. I kicked aside one of those people,
mutated by starvation and madness. Took the rock and smashed the biter;'s head.
I smashed. I smashed and smashed. It was a big twisted mess of pebble, brain
and skull. I looked at how the others looked docile then. As if scared. Such an
inhuman kill by one not of their own.
I realized then that I had killed one of their alphas. I growled and bared my
fangs and my dirty teeth and guttural activities send them away. It was all I
could. Before I collapsed.
===============================================================================
 
 
"You passed the test. Even the  established Solarii are impressed."
Naked and wounded on a makeshift bed. Though it was lavish. I had been bathed a
bit. I was in Nikolai's quarters. 
"To be honest. My orders were to rescue you if anything went wrong. You are a
historian by trade am I correct?"
"Yeah I graduated from history. I was just an intern. I am also double major.
Math." 
Nikolai raised a brow, "Wow, that's a strong education. Back in that world
outside the dragon's triangle it might have meant something. Here if you can't
fish, hunt or kill; math and history won't do good."
"Well, I am still alive and you were told to try to help me so I think in the
wider scale of things I am important. Or my education is. Nor else why would
Mathias ask for me?"
That is when he grabbed me a bit harshly by the neck; not so tight, not so
gentle, "If you keep on talking like that you'll get hurt."
"By you." I softly grabbed his arm.
"Not really. Not without an order. You are still a bit raw not the raw we want
but the raw of the other world." 
"Meaning?"
"No topics like that nor else I don't need to hurt you or kill you others will
and Mathias may order capital punishment."
"Why?"
"Our society," he laughed at the turn, "Prefers total loyalty."
"Sound like a totalitarian army."
" I fought wars and to me this world feels tamer than the world outside. At
least it makes no false promises."
I nodded. Somehow I understood. It may have a lie but maybe to him it was not
so great a lie as the ruses kept alive with the label of equality. 
Nikolai then released his arm but caressed my throat, "I am happy you are
alive." 
"I thank you for tending my wounds."
But he caressed longer, "Only a thanks."
"Isn't it meaningful if its genuine? I will cook dinner for you if you want."
"That sounds nice."
"Though I want you to cook for me first. I am too tired now."
"Alright." But he smiled, "Do you want to have a bath near the stream. The
water now gets lukewarm due to the sun."
"Ok." I did not like staying dirty though I was a bit worried he suggested it.
===============================================================================
 
 
The world's beauty was undressed with me as I too took off my rags of a bottom;
it was red but now more ugly due to blood and mud. The vistas engorged by the
sun, swallowed by it so peacefully. I heard ravens but also distant gulls and a
myriad of songbirds. The stream was lukewarm. I nestled in the water as a bird
comforted. The lush green amongst the ruins was so heartwarming. I forgot I was
shipwrecked and that I had been locked in that stage of torture. The calmness
of the elements seemed unhampered, natural and at ease; in their true forms.
 The whole sun cloaked my vision like a surrealistic kaleidoscope. The green
teemed with fresh fruit. I could;d smell mango, apples and nuts. Also mushrooms
on the nearby grounds.I was actually tinkering with recipes. Mushroom soap with
some deer meat? I just caught the most common animals I saw nearby. The deer
came less for the nervousness caused by wolves and man. But they came at times
to graze. The ruins harboured men who were now at ease. They were either
reading. Or eating. Or talking. I heard one reciting a poem. The ambiance
seemed so hauntingly natural and semi-gothic I shivered. These men were
murderers. But for the time being they forget their atrocities. They too at
times had the desire to live in peace. I was thinking of ikibana. I liked
arranging flowers. I don't want to give that up.
"Are you feeling cold?"
I had not noticed Nikolai. Undressed and in the nude. Next to me. The place was
quiet. Deserted. I was scared.
"Not really."
"Do you want me to wash you?"
"No, thank you Nikolai, I just want to feel the water. It calms me and my
wounds."
"Yeah, but don't stay too soaked. You are weak you might get a fever. Most do
after the pits."
"Uh, thanks I have to keep that in mind."
"Your wounds need more cleaning."
Without invitation he tried to catch me. I gasped. Scared. But he smiled: "I
already seen your beautiful body and have touched it a bit."
My eyes grew wide, "Touched what?"
"Not your privates. I have touched too long anywhere. I am afraid I might
become too aroused by your skin and not be able to control myself."
I didn't know if that was a threat. However, it did not please me.
"That's not fair."
"It's not?"
"Without my consent. Without my absolute consent. I prefer not doing things
with others."
"Can't always control myself." 
Then he grabbed me. I pushed.
With that he snarled.
Grabbed me harder.
I didn't want this to go further. I wanted to get out.
I actually started crying.
Pressure gone.
"I am so sorry. I have forgotten how to feels to court someone." Nikolai had
let go and wiped my tears, "I am so used to violence here. Our coupling her
also is borne by a form oof violence or sadism. Affection is somewhat rare or
hidden. May I kiss your eyes my lovely?"
"No, you may not." I said perfectly with tears stinging, "I am not ready for
anything."
"I promise, that I will always try to keep you safe if you were to become my
lover."
I was slightly attracted to the proposal. But then I buckled. If I did not know
how to protect myself I would not be able to respect myself anymore.
"Now that's a false promise."
Nikolai looked shocked.
"You might kill me if Mathias, your leader, ordered. Not what your God given
heart would."
"I am just trying to survive." Nikolai's eyes were stern and no longer warm; he
was getting angry.
"Can you not survive without me."
"I rather hope I didn't." This time he hugged me, "I told Mathias you will be
staying with me."
"Is that good for you or me?"
"Both of us."
"Nikolai, I have never had any relationship with a man and I can't acquiesce so
easily to having dick."
"Do you prefer that I lie down and you enter me?" Playing with my hair.
"It'd still be awkward."
"I must warn you to sleep but keep caution. Some men do get raped."
"If I can handle the cannibals in the pit I can handle this."
"That was anarchy; structured violence is more deadly; trust me I fought wars."
"I understand."
"I am not relinquishing my bed, you must sleep with me."
"Why not bring a small mattress I can sleep on the floor."
"Fine, if that;s what you want. But I will do all I can to win your
affections."
 
The talk of affections disturbed me. It was not natural as in to coerce
affection. Nikolai had become too accustomed to violence that his charms were
heralding some attributes of force. Maybe he unconsciously registered them.
After all he did say he wanted to survive.
===============================================================================
 
"You must be careful of Vladimir." 
"Why?"
 
We were sleeping. Or so resting in our beds. My makeshift Futon and his upper
bunk. The scent and glow of fireflies with a waft of nuts entered our semi open
quarters. The howl of wolves came and went. Nevertheless the world now felt
peaceful. The pits had moments of quiet but they mostly translated as fatigue
or ambush. So, even a wolf howl or wind howl came ceremoniously intermittently
it was quite comfortable to have a bed to sleep. Though the cotton somewhat
tickled me. My skin was so absent from it that it regarded it foreign. 
"You seen him; he was the man who so eagerly wanted to kill your friend."
Oh, now I remembered.
"We used to be somewhat together at times. For the sex. I sometimes liked his
roughness but he loves killing and hurting so much. I don;t think he remembers
gentleness much."
Oh, so am I like the new love interest? God, the soap-operaness of it in such a
setting makes it feel unbelievable.
"Why do you suppose that?" I meant the question.
"Vladimir was an orphan from parents, love, worldly comforts and from youth was
adopted by military and made to do all the things that make nobles and
politicians elsewhere rich. So, he cannot scramble or fathom gentleness. Lets
say that many of his kisses have bites."
"Ok." I was not sure how to handle all this information.
"But Dmitri is a good guy. You can trust him alot. Not a lose cannon. Boris is
quick tempered and easy to anger but if he sees you and me he will take it
easy. Work hard and he starts trusting you."
In another life these men may have been good men. But this island has robbed
them that...and...Himiko? Wait, what...what am I thinking...
I clutched my head.
It pounded massively.
Why am I here?
Why was I on that ship?
 
===============================================================================
 
 
Nikolai never raped me. That was one good thing about being friends with him.
He never harmed me sexually. We had our tussles. It was not a convenient
relationship. It's difficulties were not soothing. They were coercive and
really problematic. Well, while courting me let's say he was partly successful.
I never really loved him or liked him the way I feel he wanted. It just never
happened. I wasn't interested in him. To be honest, I am not interested in
people like him who are too stubborn and know only how to use force much. And
yeah, I am not really into guys either. 
During that day I was scared. I could hear distant laughing and at times
anguished screams. Some people were probably eating late and chatting, other
men may have been having sex and some were just being bullied or raped. It
happens to you. I was a bit lucky as Nikolai was a bit like one of the top dogs
and nobody was going to fuck with him.
At the middle of the night Nikolai came and rested next to me. I pushed him
away and said he didn't have my consent to do this. Well, he got mad and got
into his bed. I realized that maybe I am being too hard on him. So I told him
to come down again. But he angrily said I was not worthy of his touch. I said
was I only worthy of his anger and that couldn't he understand how unnerved I
am.
Well, then he slid next to me. We slept together but not with any erotic
touching or sexual intercourse. I felt ok. I was getting scared to sleep by
myself and I was being childish but I thought being next to someone would be
nice. I was not really in the right state to sleeo by myself. That was a long
time ago when my memory was failing me. Now it's not.
I wondered if Trinity, the organization I worked for was ever going to care
that I was missing. I think they knew how to get off and on the island without
attracting Himiko. I sometimes wondered if Mathias was also a double agent gone
rogue. Maybe he was also once a part of Trinity. Maybe he did not know it
properly but maybe he was. 
I want to kill Himiko. I may have to kill Mathias to get to that option. This
is not revenge nor is it my mission fulfilled. I am not gonna be jerked around
anymore. I have had it with this organisation. They may have also killed my
father. My father wasn't a full fledged member. We were both interns and sub-
researchers into their fold. I am not going to kill Mathias if I don't have to,
neither will I kill Himiko if I find the ways to get off this island unscathed
as the Trinity operatives do. I am just going to leave. 
I want to begin my life anew. Though I do not know if Trinity operatives would
leave me alone. I know that perhaps I would not be able to stay with my mother
for long. Or maybe I can if we both get away. 
Both Himiko and the Trinity organization can go fuck themselves. 
I know that Trinity has suppressed Himiko because she is an enemy but at the
same time Trinity by doing this also help keep Himiko chained to this island. I
think Himiko's curse is somehow related to Trinity. From what I know it may
very well be. I see markings similar in ancient ruins that had to be related to
Trinity alliances, Trinity and its predecessors. Of course I did not need to
divulge this with Mathias. Though at times he did look at me, knowingly. Our
tension then talked: he knew I was hiding something and I knew I had to keep
something hidden.
Now, or never. Got to fight my way. I stayed here long enough. This is for
everyone I had lost and for the ones now in hiding.
I am going to fight for us.
===============================================================================
 
In the morning Vladimir scowled at me. At that time he looked more livid and
angry with me. Nikolai came out and nodding at Vladimir wanted out but Vladimir
looked resilience.
Shouting in Russian and Nikolai shouted back then they spoke in English, "This
little pisssant looks ugly and defeated."
"We never had to go through the pits Vlad."
"Yeah so; I volunteer down there for days at times. I know how to weed out the
weaklings and to cage some."
"Yeah, that is a hobby of yours." Nikolai looked slightly disturbed...then I
realized it...I walked in front of Vladimir.
"You kicked me when I was sleeping and then kept in a cage until some other
guys thought it was fun to let me out." I accused him, Is that your idea of a
hobby? Torturing people so sadistically?"
Punch.
Square in my jaw and I stumbled because I was weakened still by my excursions
in the pit. 
Nikolai ran up to me. "Easy Vlad!"
"So what if I did do that; your little poodle better watch it if he plans to
mouth of to me!"
"You put him in a cage. When was that?" Nikolai looked furious and for a moment
Vladimir became quiet.
"A day...after..." I gasped and coughed, "After you visited me."
"Really Vlad." Pushing Vlad on the chest, "What the fuck is your deal?"
"My deal is that you can't man up to me!" Vlad pushed him back, " That's why
you got cabbana boy as a mate."
"I look prettier than you anyday." I coughed, wiped a small bit of blood. 
Vlad clenched his fists and teeth and attempted to come after me but Bikolai
blocked him, "Enough of you crap. Go fuck a rat."
Angrily Vladimir looked at me, "You can't survive here. You are going to die
easily." Then he looked at Nikolai and said, "Then you realize that you are
fool for not staying with me." 
 
Nikolai just hmphed and looked at me, "C'mon Mathias wanna speak with you." 
===============================================================================
 
Mathias was an old man. That was what first struck me. He didn't look as young
and vibrant as some of the recruits. If I was certain then he was the oldest
man in the island. Which gave me the creeps. It looked some weird sci fi script
for some thriller film. 
"Hello there Yoshi or is it Hibban? Which do you prefer?"
"Any." 
"Mathias. Plain Mathias. Or Father Mathias."
"Do you have a last name?"
"Vassily."
"Neat."
Coming closer he looked me closely, "You are part of a research crew I think
but it was also a part military boat. Your comrade, whom we killed with much
gusto," here he sneered and made me cringe, "Was ably trained in combat. You,
on the other hand, are not so sturdy a mercenary so I presume you are not nor
do you seem like a trained soldier. Your manners are actually quite good.
Refined to some of the barbarians amongst us. You are well bred. Though an ill
bred fighter. Your reflexes are sluggish and you carry too much philosopher in
your head. A Solarii must kill unquestionably as due many licensed and
certified armed forces do. Do you think they read Chaucer or Murasaki when they
prefer to put a bullet to a man's chest or rape a so-called enemy's woman?"
I was in an inner sanctum. The room was nicely lit and had all the furnishings
of a duke in a deserted isle. All maps and two desks. Complete with paper and
even some documents. The bed had cotton and silk threads. Of all the men in the
island Mathias's quarters here in this village or near the slums adjacent to
the palace were always better. The hiaerarchy in this place was like any
corporation. And any modern day military. 
"Are you acquainted with these things?" 
"I was in the ending days at the Vietnamese war and some other scattered ops
afterwards. I was but a young boy then. Around 16 if I am correct and
afterwards I fought other wars and I realized that war is just an industry that
puts the myth of wealth and survival on its plate. Many a times we were more
technological advanced than many of the nations we fought. Yet that didn't
change a paid soldier's inhumanity. We are paid to kill. Not to question. If we
do we are held under military council and stripped of much of our humility and
shame and even conscience. War augments that effect."
"Are we in war here?"
Mathias raised an eyebrow, "That is a very different kind of questioning. Some
before you has asked that. I do not think I had to answer them personally to
let me know what was going on." Then he smiled, "We are at war here with
nothing and everything."
"I am not —"
"The outsiders are the non-Solarii you will kill them, they are always the
enemy. The Onii have the same goals as us but to be honest they are not so keen
as us to push them forward. They are also our enemy. They are the former
guardians who have someone stayed alive by eating other people's life force.
They are also our enemy. They thrive on our bodies and we in turn are most
happy to see them dead." 
"What are our goals to be exact?" I am never going to be a Solarii.
"It's to help the Sun Queen find her heir as in her vessel. Apparently, she
needs a new body and we will supply her that."
I shuddered.
"No, not your body." Laughing he said, "You and I are males and for some reason
the Sun Queen can only possess women."
"That's quite a pain."
"It is for her but not for us." 
"Why are we helping her?" 
"Because as soon as she is released we can find a way off this rock."
"What do you —"
"Himiko has the power to control storms; I don't know how maybe a relic she
possesses or something but she most definitely attacks anything that she finds
a suitable target."
"That sounds insane." I cringed.
"I assured it's not Yoshiyuki." 
"What  if after helping her she kills us or worse enslaves us!" I asked, "If
you are dangerous as she is what makes you think she will let us so easily
leave?"
"Well, I read something." Mathias got up a scroll, "The queen's writing
suggest, though fading, that she wants to read this piece of Yamatai." Giving
me the document, "I guess as you are partly Japanese you can read this though
it's ancient."
"Yeah the script is very formalized Hirigana  so it might take some time." I
read the fragments and after five minutes riffling through faded text I
realized he was right, "Yeah. It's apparent she does want to leave but why?"
"What do you mean why?" Laughing again and somewhat poking Nikolai's ribs.
Nikolai chuckled as well but looked partly affectionately towards me.
"I mean isn't this her kingdom why would she easily want to leave?"
"I don't care." Mathias stated firmly, "All I know that she wants to leave and
we want out to."
"What if afterwards she takes us hostage? What if we we just kill her as in
her..."
"Her body is dead her soul is trapped and it wants a new vessel... I don't want
to kill that body as I am not sure what effects it will have." Then sternly,
"Don't talk like this in front of the other men I am going to kill you without
a second thought if you do." 
"But we are not sure if reviving her will have better effects. Usually
phantasms like her can be killed if their vessels are destroyed or contained;
in most demonic studies that is the usual way to get rid of them."
"Nikolai!" 
Nikolai then slapped me and punched me in the gut. I keeled over and started
coughing.
"I have worked too long boy." Mathias grabbed my hair and looked at me angrily,
"To let  baseless theories stall me. Himiko has told me that she will let us
leave all we have to do is help free her that;'s all."
"You're crazy." I looked at him but then eyes growing wide, "Himiko talked to
you."
"Yes." 
"How can you trust her she sounds like a demon!"
Nikolai had loosened his grip. 
"But she is controlling the storms here and I know no better way to get off
this rock than give the queen what she wants."
I got up.
"What do I —"
"There are some documents I want you to study. I want to reconfirm if I am
doing everything right and if these so called rituals are taking place
correctly." 
"Why?"
"I saw pictures of you from the wreck you look like a historian."
"I think I am."
"Are you amnesiac?" Mathias surveyed me.
"Yes I am."
"He did say he cant remember things before this occasion. And he has horrible
headaches I don't think he is lying Father Mathias." Nikolai explained.
"Well maybe some good food will make him remember." Mathias asserted, "Feed him
well. Spar with him. Make sure he knows the ways around the island and how to
use weapons."
"Can I see what you uncovered from my ship?"
"Yeah go to the site and salvage anything of yours you like."
 
After that meeting Nikolai look happy, "You are smart in my opinion, you know
what questions to ask you —"
HIT. PUNCH.
Nikolai looked surprised and pained and clutched his face, "What...?"
"You hit me back there so much for courting me, huh. You are as bad as
Vladimir!"
"Listen!" He grabbed my arm, "Listen, beau." I was trying to get away, "I had
my orders and you were talking to much. You are lucky that he didn't shoot you
like he did my comrades who questioned."
I stopped.
"Look, Hibban..." Looking at me endearingly, " I am still a Solarii enforcer. I
am one of the second in commands I can't just not listen to Mathias's orders.
If I was rebellious I would get killed. I am sorry. I tried to hit you with
less force."
Caressing my abdomen and face I still became pissed, "It hurt Nikolai I am not
really well."
"Guess what your spirit is strong that punch hurt."
I looked at his happy demeanor and I wondered what horrors came ahead or behind
this mangled peace. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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