Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/1140551. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: F/F Fandom: The_Fosters_(TV_2013) Relationship: Mariana_Foster/Callie_Jacob, Mariana_Foster/Kelsey, Mariana_Foster/Lexi Rivera Character: Mariana_Foster, Callie_Jacob Additional Tags: Closeted_Character, References_to_Drugs, First_Time, Internalized Homophobia, Oral_Sex, Cunnilingus Stats: Published: 2014-01-18 Words: 2265 ****** Catalyst ****** by neytah Summary Mariana can't imagine how things could possibly get any worse. Then comes Callie. Notes okay, so i've only seen the first few episodes of this show, so some details might be wrong, and Callie's a bit OOC, but I was having feels so I wrote this. Also, I am a total virgin, and this is my first smut fic so... hope it isn't too bad^^~ Enjoy :) Mariana doesn't want to be the girl to play into the hands of those bigoted lobbyists campaigning against the rights of her mothers. A gay girl that happened to be adopted by two lesbians, what are the chances. She hates it, and she hides it. She brushes off her lack of male companionship, blaming focus on grades, and lets Lexi be the one always crushing, flirting, dating, breaking hearts, heart getting broken. Mariana doesn't mind staying on the sidelines. She doesn't mind being Lexi's shoulder to cry on. To be the one to go shopping with her, be allowed to look at her black lacy C cups and perfect ass. As for the seldom nights she cries herself to sleep, thinking about how she'll never get to kiss those pink, glossy lips, well, Mariana likes to pretend those never happened. The secret to her perfect grades is, distracting herself from the pain she hides so well. Then comes Kelsey. With her messy dirty blonde locks and her infectious smile that makes Mariana's stomach do backflips. They're paired together for a school project, and Mariana does most of the work, but she doesn't mind, because Kelsey is there holding a pencil between her nose and upper lip, spinning about in the wheelie chair, her hair swirling about her face like seaweed as she laughs, her shirt slipping off her shoulder, revealing her bra strap. Then, when Kelsey asks about Jesus' pills, Mariana's too mesmerized by, everything Kelsey, to say anything but yes. When she goes home, she cries, alone in her room, barely making a sound, wondering what the hell is wrong with her. She falls asleep for a bit, but when she wakes up, in the middle of the night, she wipes her eyes, and goes downstairs, taking a handfull of pills. It spirals from there. Kelsey tells her friends, and word spreads. Next thing she knows, Mariana is the head of a drug dealing business, because all Kelsey has to do is flutter her eyelashes and bite her lip and she'll do whatever she wants. Adderall is Kelsey's drug, and Kelsey is Mariana's. As much as she tries, as much as it pains her to steal from Jesus, to lie to her moms, she can't quit. It's stupid and ridiculous, and she's sure Kelsey doesn't have the darndest clue the effect she has on her. Even when Jesus finds out about the pills, she can't bring herself to tell him the truth, how when Kelsey licks her lips it makes her brain go fuzzy, how Kelsey's big blue eyes are impossible to say no to. Mariana can't imagine how things could possibly get any worse. Then comes Callie. Cute, cocky, vulgar Callie with her broken lip and homophobic slurs. She walks and talks like she's doing them a favor, stayig in their house, eating their food, sleeping in their living room, going to Lena's own school! She's beautiful, a beautiful mess, like Kelsey, but a hundred times worse. And that was before Callie catches her stealing Jesus' meds. Mariana's dug herself into this hole, this drug-dealing, closeted and ashamed sorry excuse for a lesbian and she's too deep to climb out now. She's sure those lobbying homophobic pricks will have a field day with her train wreck story when Callie blabs. She has no reason not too. She cries that night, but forgets it in the morning, blocking it out like she blocks out her feeling for Lexi, for Kelsey, for Callie. She prepares to face the music. But nothing changes. Callie hasn't said a world, and her biggest problem is Jesus, with his withdrawl as he wanes off the meds because Mariana sold them and GOD how could she be so stupid?! But she still feels Callie's eyes burning on the back of her head, wordlessly threatening to tell any second. Callie comes to Mariana at school, as she studies at a picnic table, one of the few routine things in her life that hasn't gone to shit, and now Callie's here to ruin things again, after already putting Brandon in line of fire, she's going to fuck up Mariana's life too. "What do you want?" Mariana says through clenched teeth. "So, you're a dyke raised by two dykes? That's something." Mariana's heart drops. "Yeah, I know. I'm not blind, I was in juvie long enough to know a thirsty lesbo when I see one." "I'm not thirsty." "Yeah right. You're parched. You've been starving yourself, I bet you see a glimpse of a girl's cleavage and wet yourself--" 'Leave me alone!" Mariana almost yells, turing to face Callie with a death glare. Callie sighs. "Look, in case you haven't noticed, you got a couple of chicks raising you, I'm sure they wouldn't give a flying fuck if you told them you like boobs. Fuck, they might even give you dental derm." Mariana's brow furrows in confusion. Callie's eyes go wide. "You don't even know what... geez you're sheltered. It's like a condom, but for..." Mariana's cheeks go red. "...you get it." Callie sighs again. "Ya' know what? It's none of my business, I'll just let you get back to whatever you were doing." Callie slides out from the picnic bench, but before she leaves Mariana in peace, she leans down her lips centimeters from Mariana's ear. "But I swear to god if you don't stop looking at my ass and not acting on it-" And then she's gone, strutting back towards the building, her bag slung over her shoulder, her ass swaying with each step. Mariana is suddenly hyperaware of everything Callie does. When she reaches up to get a bowl from the top cabinet, and a strip of her abdomen is visable. When she's playing with Jude, her purest smile on her face as he giggles, her fingers tickling his stomach. When she sits there with Brandon's stupid guitar, her brows furrowed and her bottom lip between her teeth, struggling to get the right chords. And then Lena and Stef announces she'll be sharing rooms with Callie. Mariana can't decide if it's a blessing or a curse. They get the beds the following day, and Brandon and Jesus are drafted for the heavy lifting. Jude follows them around like a puppy, amazed by the big brothers he never had. Mariana is frustrated, her room being turned upside down. Yep, definitely a curse. But by nightfall, after two blood-blisters, one smashed thumb, and one near- trip-to-the-hospital experience, both Jude and Callie's beds are assembled, and everyone goes their separate ways for some much needed rest. But now, Callie and Mariana are alone, and fear is welling up inside Mariana. Callie turns away from Mariana's bed, pulling her shirt over her head in one swift movement, revealing her plain, white bra. Mariana can't help but stare. Callie's head whips around, eyes meeting Mariana. "Are you always gonna oogle me like that?!" Mariana turns away quickly, blushing. But Callie strolls across the room in three large steps, and towers over Mariana where she sits, looking down at her. "You've never, haven't you?" Mariana looks away, avoiding Callie's inquisitive stare. Callie kneels down to a squat, forcing Mariana to look at her. "You've never even kissed a girl, have you?" Mariana open her mouth to speak, to defend herself, to deny what is true, but Callie's leaning forward, and then her lips are pressed against Mariana's. Her hand reaches up to push her away, but she finds it cupping Callie's cheek, pulling her closer, opening her mouth a bit, which Callie reads as an invitation, delving her tongue between Mariana's lips. Mariana kissed a boy once. At one of Lexi's sleepover's over a game of spin the bottle. It wasn't bad, necessarily, but it was never like this, ever warm and hot and lighting a fire inside her. Her fingers entwine into her hair, pulling her closer, dragging her backwards, on top of her, lying on the bed together, practically groping eachother. Their lips part, gasping for air, but Callie doesn't waste a second before attacking Mariana's neck, nipping and sucking and Mariana has to stifle a moan. Callie sits up, her legs bracing Mariana's hips. Their chests are both still heaving, and Callie looks down at Mariana, lip gloss smeared, hair askew, already looking totally fucked. Mariana's eyes flicker from Callie's face to her chest. Callie can't help but notice. "You wanna touch?" Mariana's cheeks go red again, a trait that Callie is beginning to find endearing. She leans back down, resting her elbows on each side of Mariana's head. "You've never touched one, have you?" Callie says. "You've thought about it, but..." Callie trails her hand down Mariana's body until she finds Mariana's hand, resting on her hip. She brings it up, with no resistance from Mariana. She can hear her breath hitch as she places Mariana's hand on her breast. She takes Mariana's other hand as does the same. Callie is amused by how mesmerized she is, but, impatience grows fast within her, and she is leaning back down, capturing Mariana's lips with her's. Callie's hands slide under Mariana's thin top, stroking the soft skin underneath. She roams upward, farther, until she reaches the bottom of her bra, the pink polka-dotted one that Mariana loves. Their lips part with a smack as Callie sits up again. "Off." Mariana doesn't need to be asked twice. She's too far gone to second guess herself. She sits up for a second only to remove her top, and then they're connected again, Callie's lips trailing down Mariana's chest, hands cupping her breasts. A moan escapes Mariana's mouth, and her hand jumps to cover her mouth, surprised by the noise she made. Callie lips trail lower, lower, until she reaches the button of Marina's designer jeans. Her eyes flicker up at Mariana, who nods breathlessly to the unspoken question. It's a tugging war to remove Mariana's skinny jeans, but soon they're off, along with her panties, and they're back on the bed, Callie kissing Mariana's inner thigh. Mariana has one hand covering her mouth, blocking any sound that might escape, the other gripping the sheets for dear life. As she feels Callie's warm breath against her folds, a shiver of arousal mixed with fear ricochets through her body. She wants this. It's scary how much she wants this, after so long of hiding these feelings, supressing them, pushing them away, she feels move free than she ever has. With sexy, confident Callie between her legs, its equally exciting as it is scary. But the second Callie's tongue touches her, all coherent thought is lost. Callie's tongue expertly navigates Mariana's cunt, her experience from juvie showing as Mariana has to bite her palm to stop from screaming. She alternates between sucking on her clit and stroking her tongue up and down her slit, dipping down into her warmth, making Mariana arch off the bed. Soon, it's too much, and she's coming, hips thrusting against Callie's face, knuckles white, gripping the sheets for dear life. When it's over, she finally removes her hand from her mouth, panting. Callie crawls back up, pressing gentle kisses against Mariana's neck. The feel of Callie's lip against her sweat sheened skin is the last thing she remembers before she drifts into unconsciousness. ***  Mariana wakes before her mom comes to wake her, feeling unusually refreshed. Then she feels the weight of Callie against her back, and the sound of her breathing, and her memory of last night comes rushing back. And she is immediately hit with conflicting emotions. It was wonderful. It was more than she could've ever dreamed of. And she feels safe, at home with Callie's arms around her, her breath tickling her back. But again, she is hit with an overwhelming sense of guilt. And fear. If her moms find out, they'll send Callie away. Maybe Jude, too. And it'd all be her fault. And whatever happened last night, whatever it was to Callie, she doesn't want to hurt her. Mariana isn't even sure what it means herself. Mariana untangles herself from Callie, being careful not to disturb her sleep. She gets dressed as quietly and quickly as possible, hoping to get the first turn in the bathroom. With one last wayward glance at Callie, still lying comotose on Mariana's bed, she closes the door behind her. *** Callie and Mariana don't see eachother until breakfast, surrounded by their family. Callie gives Mariana a glance, but they barely speak. Mariana's sitting at that picnic table, studying, that day at school, when Callie approaches her again. "Hey." Butterflies explode in her stomach. She can't bring herself to respond.  "Look, if you wanna pretend last night didn't happen, like you do with most things, that's fine, but let me know, okay?" "Callie--" Mariana turns to face her, but any words she might have said get caught in her throat. Before she can gather her words, Callie's hand is cupping her cheek, pulling her into a kiss. It takes Mariana a couple beats before she pushes her away. "Are you crazy?!" She looks around frantically. "People could see!!" Callie chuckles, not seeming to share Mariana's concerns. "Someone could see, and tell Mom and..." "Okay! Sorry! It's just... cute when you're flustered. And knowing you, you probably want me to leave now so you can go back to your work and back to pretending you're completely heterosexual." Callie slides off her seat. "But, I'll see you tonight." She winks at Mariana, and leaves. Mariana's life has never been a bigger mess. Yet, she can't help but smile. 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