Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/56708.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Major_Character_Death, Underage, Rape/
      Non-Con
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Smallville, Batman_(Movies_-_Nolan), The_Guardian
  Relationship:
      Bruce_Wayne/Lex_Luthor, Lionel_Luthor/Colin_Luthor_(Clark_Kent)
  Character:
      Lex_Luthor, Bruce_Wayne, Julian_Luthor, Colin_Luthor_(Clark_Kent),
      Nicholas_Fallin, Alfred_Pennyworth, Rachel_Dawes, OMCs, OFCs, Lionel
      Luthor, Lucas_Dunleavy
  Additional Tags:
      Crossover, Drama, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Prior_Noncon, Dubious_Consent,
      Alternate_Universe_-_Dark
  Series:
      Part 1 of Colin_Luthor_'Verse
  Stats:
      Published: 2008-01-06 Completed: 2010-01-28 Chapters: 5/5 Words: 149829
****** Can't Find My Way Home ******
by rednihilist
Summary
     Lionel Luthor must raise three children alone after his wife's death:
     Alexander, Julian and—it.
Notes
     Disclaimer: Smallville and certain characters belong to DC Comics,
     and Miller-Gough et al., respectively.
     Batman and certain characters belong to DC Comics, and Warner Bros.,
     respectively.
     The Guardian and certain characters belong to Columbia TriStar
     Television, and CBS Productions, respectively. No profit is gained
     from this writing, only, hopefully, enjoyment.
     A/N: In the process of revising. Just started work on chapter two.
     (You'll be able to tell.)
***** Chapter 1 *****
Prologue
He should have kept Lex close. Rocks crashing all around, fire, smoke, and ash,
and his son is nowhere to be found.
Lionel searches for what seems like hours, half-blind and half-deaf and with
his left ankle weak and throbbing from when he’d fallen, when he’d dove to the
ground as one of the meteors shot over his head.
As he shouts and screams, he for some reason thinks of dragons. Shock. It’s
almost certainly shock, but dragons are cautionary tales, warnings against
greed and pride.
He wonders if this isn’t his dragon come to demand tribute, come to take his
only son. What a poor bargain. Lex is worth twice as much as Lionel has. He’s
Lionel’s only child, his legacy, his future, and if this is where he dies,
buried beneath burnt corn stalks in some backwater hellhole, then that’s it.
What lesson is Lionel supposed to learn from this?
But then he catches sight of a small tuft of bright red hair, tangled around a
smoldering ear of corn. Lionel follows the trail, dropping down on his knees in
the dirt when he spots a small black dress shoe just peeking out between green.
It’s Lex, his boy, his only child, but he’s disfigured, maimed. He’s shaking
and staring, and Lionel eventually pulls himself together enough to reach down
and gather Lex into arms.
He stumbles to his feet, hitches Lex higher, and begins trekking toward the
nearest dirt road.
But there’s something in their path.
Lionel doesn’t truly believe in a deity on high who shakes its finger at him
for all his supposed crimes and misdeeds, his so-called sins. Needing something
like that stinks of weakness to him, like an adult cuddling a baby blanket and
sucking his own thumb. There is no such thing as God.
Lionel is strong enough to make his own rules.
But what he found in that cornfield isn’t a coincidence. It can’t be.
It was fate, destiny.
Dragons aren’t real, and neither are gods, but the lessons and truths
surrounding them are.
He’d be a fool not to take advantage, not to seize this opportunity.
Lillian is—hopeful.
“God's will,” she said at Lex’s bedside. “My sweet Alexander is so brave and
strong. You'll see. Nothing will hold him back. My courageous boy.”
Lex isn’t the same. Nothing is. Nothing will ever be the same for any of them.
Lillian will spin her own worldview, just as she always has. He'd known that
within five minutes of meeting her, and it’s as true today as it was 12 years
ago, perhaps even more so.
Let her stay with Lex.
Lionel can’t afford to shut himself away. He has to keep going, keep them
afloat. And in all honesty, he doesn’t want to stay with his wife and son. It’s
a sickroom, and seeing both a sick son and a sick wife in it is too much.
Besides, he’s needed elsewhere.
Not at Luthorcorp. No, his leave of absence is in his best interests. With his
son gravely ill and lovely Lillian always so delicate, it’s understandable he
take time off.
Lionel plays the stalwart husband, the loving, doting, deeply concerned father.
But he is also the witness to something so incredible he’s shared it with only
his scientists and his scotch.
He’s found a miracle.
Lionel plans on stopping by the new facility again today to see what else
they’ve learned about—it.
===============================================================================
Twelve_Years_Later
Lex let himself into the house, marveling at the nosedive the décor had taken
since he’d last been home. That painting on the south wall was new, as were the
decorative pillar candles—three, four, and six foot candles embossed with gold
leaf and pressed ivy.
A good son might tactfully offer his criticism about the new decorator, but in
this instance Lex was more than happy to wear the label of bad son.
It made him smile, if only on the inside.
His entrance had attracted the attention of one of the staff, so Lex handed off
his overcoat and bag to the maid standing nearby. He then bit the bullet and
started down the left hallway toward Dad’s study, their understood meeting
place.
Grabbing the handle of the oak door, however, Lex was startled to find it
locked, startled and irritated.
Why would the old bastard lock him out of their own damn meeting?
If a ploy, the move had no real purpose besides putting Lex off balance, so he
made himself calm down and forced his body loose and relaxed, hands in pockets
as he leaned against the opposing wall, the picture of upper crust nonchalance.
Lex wondered if Lionel were even in there.
Perhaps he’d merely stood him up again. It happened often enough not to be
completely far-fetched, although why he wouldn't notify Lex was a mystery.
Usually cancellations were due to someone or something more important than Lex
expressing an interest in his father. And Dad would always call, chock-full of
false guilt and demanding Lex's understanding that so-and-so just happened to
be in town this weekend only.
“Lex, my boy,” he'd say, “I apologize, but you know business comes first. I'll
see you at break. Make me proud, son.”
Dad never cancelled without the bragging phone call and almost never sent word
to Lex via one of his many lackeys.
Just the once.
The only time anyone had ever played messenger for Dad was back when Lex was at
Princeton, and it was Julian.
And it was because of Colin.
Dad had taken Colin somewhere in a hurry, leaving Lian himself at home with his
nanny.
That was more than three years ago now.
Lex had certainly missed his youngest brother, missed him more than he thought
he would when he left, hell-bent on escaping Dad's clutches.
Quite the feat, that, as it turned out.
Lex had quickly realized Lionel's control extended far beyond his own
household, company, or even hometown.
Stanford, Princeton, and of course Metropolis U all had board members and a
shocking percentage of the faculty on-call to report on Lex to his father.
Harvard did not, which was why Lex was soon to be graduating there. One
semester and change left. Lex had briefly considered Oxford but would've seen
even less of Lian if he'd gone overseas. He was also self-aware enough to know
if he set up shop in Europe, he'd almost certainly never want to come back to
the States. And Lian needed someone on his side. Lionel had his protégé in
Colin; Lex couldn’t leave Lian stranded here with no allies.
Colin didn’t count. He hadn’t counted in years, not since he’d shown his true
colors.
The study door suddenly opened and Lex made sure his game face was solid.
Speak of the devil.
Colin stood holding the door open, apparently waiting for Lex to enter.
Lex smirked at him and winked as he passed by, and as expected Colin’s blank
expression didn’t waver in the slightest. Lex had always envied him that, that
perfect poker face. His younger brother had always been able to lock down his
expression, to go as opaque as concrete and keep everything in his head well
off his face and body.
Once upon a time, Lex would have already had an idea what was behind those dead
green eyes, would have cared intensely, but now he didn’t. Now, he was just
envious. Lex could convincingly put on most feelings, after all, but he
couldn't wipe them away entirely.
It was unnerving. Colin was unnerving. 
And then there was Dad.
“Lex,” he said, “son, good to see you.” He stuck his hand out for Lex to shake,
and Lex obliged, giving in to his pettier side and squeezing too hard. Lionel
just smirked and squeezed back, his long hair looking even wilder than Lex
remembered.
Something was definitely off. Lex couldn’t quite put his finger on what
exactly, whether it was Lionel or something Lex had done that he was being
called to the carpet for or even if it were Julian or—Colin, but there was a
strange, alien tension in the air.
“What's with the hold up?” Lex asked. “You two hatching another plot without
me?” Hoping it would still put Colin off-kilter even if the kid didn’t show it,
Lex deliberately looked at him while saying this, and he gave the question a
heavily sarcastic tone to needle his father.
Summoned back to the house like a loyal hound, and here Lex came, but that
didn’t mean he had to play nice.
“Of course not,” Dad said, scoffing. “You know I don't discuss business with
you boys.” And wasn’t that a bald-faced fucking lie? “Besides,” Dad continued,
as Lex tried in vain to hide his thoughts half as well as his fucking brother,
“it's far less exciting than all that. Day in and day out, board meetings,
presentations, and luncheons: Lin's probably bored to tears. Isn't that right?”
 He directed the last pointedly at Colin.
And some small nasty part of Lex hoped Dad would elicit a reaction from Colin,
hoped something would crack that shell of his, pretending he was above them all
when he was the worst.
And Dad’s delivery was impeccable; Lex would give him that. Old bastard could
convince the Pope Mary Magdalene was naught but a housewife, but, as sometimes
happened, that same cold stare he was famous for also gave him away. His was
the look one liar gave another when forcing the second to play along. ‘You'd
better do it,’ Dad’s eyes said, ‘or else.’
For his part, Colin only blinked before turning and staring at a place just
beyond Lex’s shoulder. He said calmly and quietly in a voice deeper than Lex
was expecting, “Absolutely dull stuff. Why would I want to be here any more
than you—or Lian?”
Lex turned around at that, and sure enough there was Julian standing back in
the doorway. Still dressed in his school uniform, he was looking right at Lex
and smiling.
Lex started to smile back, and before he could even say anything Julian had
carelessly dropped his schoolbag and come dashing over. Lex spread his arms
wide just in time to catch him in a hug.
He said into his ear, “Hey, kid, how's it going?”
“How long are you staying?" Lian asked, pulling away and dropping down into the
nearest chair.
Lex almost grinned but pushed it back down into a small smile. He pulled out
the chair next to Julian’s and sat. “That depends,” Lex said, with a look
toward Dad. “Well, we're all here now. What's so important it requires a
‘family meeting’?”
“Boys,” Dad said, turning and pacing behind his office chair like a circling
shark, “it’s time I shared a profound secret with you. This will seem odd, even
impossible, but it's crucial that you listen to me. We need to come together as
a family, now more than ever, and in order to do that, Lex, Julian, you need to
hear this and appreciate what it means. First, know that I'm taking Lin out of
school. His private tutoring will resume here at the house and the Centre, and
in light of events I know it's best for everyone that he not be around those
people at the academy any longer.”
Well, that wasn’t what Lex was expecting. Part of him breathed a sigh of relief
because whatever Dad was talking about wasn’t Lex’s fault.
Mostly, though, he was just confused, even more so than before.
Dad had prepared this speech. It had just the right pacing and wasn't
repetitious. He'd also apparently already told Colin all this because of the
boy's reaction, or lack thereof. True to form these days, Colin just sat there
staring at their father. He didn't glare or sulk and, conversely, he wasn't
smirking or snarling either.
He just sat there, like a statue, like he didn’t care.
Lex, meanwhile, was left wondering what the hell had happened at Excelsior that
was so bad Dad felt he needed to withdraw Colin.
Was he bullied?
Seemed the most likely.
Maybe he was expelled for some reason.
Did he cheat? Did he refuse to speak? Lex could think of a few professors who
would find that irritating.
Had he done something—strange?
When Julian had called that time three years ago, Lex remembered thinking it
could have been an overdose he was describing.
Hell, Colin was 15 now. It could be sex, for all Lex knew.
“Why aren't you going to school anymore?” Lian asked Colin quietly. He looked
concerned, upset, which Lex found adorably and absurdly kind of him.
“Son, your brother’s had some—trouble acclimating to the academy, and I feel
that– I think it best he come back home. Here with us.”
Lionel had hesitated. He'd stuttered, and his body language was now atypically
nervous.
Impatient, Lex asked, “What the fuck actually happened?”
Dad glared at him before saying, “You remember how difficult it was for you at
Excelsior, Lex.”
“Yeah,” he said, “and I also remember you refusing to let me transfer.”
“He’s not transferring anywhere.”
Next to him, Julian asked Colin again, “What'd they do to you?” And he was so
heartbreakingly sincere it made Lex's stomach churn.
All that sympathy was being wasted on someone who wasn't even real. The person
Lian cared for was just another mask Colin wore, that of kind and caring
brother. Lex was once very familiar with that character, less so now with the
betrayer hiding behind it, although he knew that snake was still there, ready
to turn on him and Julian whenever Dad gave the order.
The Judas.
“That's nothing you need to worry about, Julian. Your brother’s fine, and– ”
“And what’s all this about ‘sharing a secret’ and ‘coming together as a
family’?" Lex asked, interrupting. “Is this the big secret? That Colin's back
with tutors and home-schooling? How is that either new or secret?”
“That’s only the tip of the iceberg,” said Dad.
At the same time, Julian asked again, “What'd they do?”
And somehow Colin’s voice, when he did speak, cut through both Dad and Julian.
He said without rancor, “Tied me up and left me outside during a lightning
storm.”
“Jesus,” Lex said, mildly sympathetic despite himself. “The Luthor name
certainly didn't get you the star treatment either. Well, welcome to the
‘Loathed Club.’ Better get used to it if you ever want to venture off the
property again.”
“Lex!” said Dad.
“It’s the truth, Dad. This family is scorned among the elite and reviled and
vilified in the press. You’re not fooling anyone with this noble shtick.”
“All the more reason for us to present a united front as a family– ”
“Who says we don't?” interrupted Julian.
Lex looked at his youngest brother, speechless. Where had Lian gotten this idea
that any of them were in it for anything but their own benefit? Lex certainly
only cared that he and Lian got out alive, and he knew Dad only cared about
himself, regardless of the fact Colin had always been his favorite. As for
Colin, who the hell knew what went on in that kid's head? Lex certainly didn't,
not anymore, and nor did he particularly care to find out.
Julian still evidently felt something for them, though. He was young: he'd grow
out of it soon enough.
“Now that's what I like to hear,” Lionel said. “I won't always be here, so it’s
important that you trust each other. We’re family, after all. Your mother and I
always wanted you to be close.”
Colin stood up from his chair so quickly it toppled on its back. He didn't say
anything, just stood glaring at Dad with his hands in fists.
Here was the tension suffocating them all. It wasn’t Lex or Julian at all.
It was Dad and Colin.
It was Colin, visibly angry, looking ready to rip Dad’s head off, his entire
body shaking with rage. It was quite the display.
Then, abruptly, the tension broke, and Colin turned around on his heel, jerked
open the door, and left. He didn't slam the door, but it was near enough.
Lex wouldn't have really blamed him if he had slammed a door or two. He’d done
far worse himself when he was that age, and he hadn't just been yanked out of
school altogether.
Being stuck here would suck for anyone, though, even if they were toady fucking
spies.
“Well, Dad,” Lex couldn’t resist saying, “care to let us in on the 'secret' of
what that was about?”
Moments later, Lex held the door open for Lian and then shut it behind him.
After Colin unceremoniously stormed out, Lionel cut the ‘family meeting’ short.
No revealing of secrets today, it seemed.
Oh, darn.
Lian glanced at Lex and asked, “Do you have to go back to Boston now?” And it
was obvious from how quiet he was that he assumed the answer would be ‘yes.’
“Nope,” Lex said, bending over slightly to try and catch Lian's eyes, “I’m
staying the weekend.”
Kid lifted his head up surprisingly quick at Lex’s answer, and a wide toothy
grin was Lex's reward for putting up with their father's games.
“What did you want to do?" Lex asked.
“Oh! Um, we could—go for a walk or swim?”  
“The pool sounds perfect,” Lex said with a smile, swinging his arm around
Lian's shoulders. They walked down the hall and made a right toward the other
end of the house. “Your birthday's coming up soon, huh?” Lex asked, trying for
casual.
“It's only October. My birthday's still two months away.” Julian’s tone was so
serious it made Lex laugh.
“Blink of an eye,” Lex said affectionately. “Aren’t you excited? I know I was
for mine: think I got more gifts that year than I have since—combined.”
“Because of Mom?” Lian asked quietly.
Lex looked at him carefully. The boy had an expression on his face Lex couldn't
quite categorize: equal parts sadness, wistfulness, and curiosity. Of course it
was little wonder about the last. The past wasn't spoken of in the Luthor
household, Lillian Luthor in particular taboo. Only Lionel was allowed by tacit
agreement to mention her, and that only happened when the old man wanted
something, as witnessed back in his office. Otherwise it was as if she’d never
existed. Even the decor of the house had changed, so that nothing of her
presence remained.
And poor Julian hadn't even known her, that incredible, vibrant, flighty woman
his mother had been before the weight of illness weighed her down. First, it’d
been Lex's ‘sickness,’ then her own, concurrent with Lian's birth and the
complications from that. In most of the memories he had of her, his mother was
damaged and weak and sad.
Only Lionel knew her when she was truly happy and full of life, and he never
shared. Never.
“Actually,” Lex said, “I think it was most likely from all the publicity over
the meteor strike and my condition.” He glossed his left hand over his scalp to
make his point, and Lian followed the gesture with his eyes. Oh, sure, the kid
had likely heard that tale from someone, but Lex had definitely never mentioned
it.
One of the maids or nannies had told Julian perhaps or a classmate. Children
were cruel, and a freakishly bald older brother and one whom no one ever saw
were perfect fuel for the fire.
“Oh,” said Lian, dropping his eyes down to the passing tile as they walked. “I
hope Dad doesn't make me have a party.”
“Yeah, those parties are awful. Dad insists on inviting the rich, snobby kids
just so their parents will show up, and he can talk business while we try not
to be poked and prodded to death. Although, by the same token, they're always
huge productions, so it's easy to slip away after you’ve opened the gifts and
had some cake.” Lex smiled at Julian and reached out to tickle him in the side,
just as they finally reached the atrium and pool.
There were changing rooms over on the left with trunks and towels. After
changing, Lex took off and executed a massive cannonball just as Lian came
within splashing range. When he emerged, his brother was glaring at him, hair
hanging in his face, and Lex laughed for a long time, Lian joining in only
after failing to remain serious.
By the time they got out of the pool, it was 6:30 and time to get ready for
dinner. Lian's room was just two doors down from Lex's, so they met up in the
hallway and headed down the stairs at ten to seven.
Dad was already stationed at the head of the table, looking toward the doorway
as they entered.
As he took his seat at the absurd formal dining room table, Lex asked in his
shiniest voice, “Where's our fourth?”
“Sulking in his room, no doubt,” Dad said, distracted already as the cook and
her assistant entered with the first course. Salad was placed at each setting,
including Colin's, and once the two servants exited, Dad wasted no time
spearing a tomato, methodically conquering even his meal.
Lex winked at a morose Julian and chugged his expensive sauvignon blanc.
Business, and family, as usual then.
Afterward, climbing Dad’s custom front staircase, his hand sliding along—and,
in its polished reflection, stretching in toward—the gold of the railing, Lex
suggested a movie, and Julian shrugged.
The entertainment room was already occupied, however.
Lex opened the door to the sound of Edward Scissorhands clipping away at
housewives’ hair, and while Lex was locked awkward in the doorway, Julian eeled
on past, crossing the plush beige carpet and dropping onto the sofa next to
Colin.
“Hey,” Lian said quietly to Colin, setting a hand on his shoulder.
Colin, eyes still focused on the screen, gave him a nod and went on watching
the screen. At his feet was a notebook, a sketch pad really, with a slim black
pencil tucked into its spine.
“You still draw, I see,” Lex said inanely, his brothers electing to ignore the
weak icebreaker.
“After this, do you want to watch Monty Python with us?” Lian asked Colin, at
which point Colin turned his head to look Julian in the eyes. The look was
searching, assessing, and Lex wondered when Colin had started making it a point
to judge someone's sincerity.
Maybe around the same time he’d started faking it.
Instead of responding though, Colin turned his head away and stopped the movie
with the remote, holding it out for Julian to take, and finally dropping it in
the kid's lap when he made no move for it. Colin then gathered up his pad and
pencil, ejected the movie, returned it to its case, and left the room.
No words, not even a wave or dirty look.
“OK,” Lex said awkwardly. “So, Holy Grail?”
Lian just looked at the remote in his lap and sighed.
Lex tried to remember if he'd ever sighed when he was almost-nine. Probably.
Luthors were all well very knowledgeable in the fine art of brooding. He'd
probably sighed in his crib.
“Lian?” His brother looked up. “Movie? Monty Python? Ringing any bells here?”
“Yeah.”
Lex went over to the cabinets, found it, and stuck it in the player. Sitting
down to Lian's right, he finally asked, “What is it?” as the llama credits
rolled by onscreen.
Lian, still looking at the remote, said, “He hardly ever talks anymore, even to
me. He used to. Now he just sits and draws in the atrium—when he's not with
Dad.”
Hating everything about this conversation, Lex said, “Well, if he doesn't like
being Dad's shadow then he should tell him that, using words and sentences.”
Not that he was bitter at all. 
“You're so mean!” Julian said, and Lex was surprised at the censure in his
voice. “You don't even care anymore.” He looked up and met Lex's eyes and asked
the most direct question he ever had, one Lex certainly knew the answer to but
would never under any circumstances tell his naive little brother. “Why don’t
you like him?”
“I don't know,” Lex said instead of the truth, feeling like a coward despite
himself.
“He spends too much time with Dad,” Lian whispered, not like a secret, not
conspiratorially, but like a confession, a warning, a plea for help.
A chill ran down Lex’s spine.
“I wish you were still here,” Lian said, dropping his head back down and
fidgeting with the damned remote again. “Everything was better. Even Dad was
nicer, except when you got in trouble.”
“Hey, look at me,” Lex said, pulling Lian's chin up. “What's going on?”
“You could talk to Lin?” Lian asked. “He's always sad, and he's not getting
better, and I– I don't know what to do, Lex. But you will. Please? Just talk to
him. I promise, you'll see.”
Here was Julian all but begging him, complete with supplicating hand gestures
and teary eyes, and Lex, God help him, couldn’t think of anything to say other
than, “Ok, sure, I'll talk to him.” He grabbed one of Lian's hands in his own
and said with conviction he didn't feel, in a voice he wasn’t sure was actually
his, “In the morning, all right? We’ll figure it out. Now watch the movie,
kid.”
Julian squeezed Lex’s hand before letting go and sliding down into a slouch on
Dad’s designer sofa. He breathed out in relief and turned to watch the screen,
smiling as the part with the Frenchman began.
And Lex felt the tension ratcheting up between his shoulders and neck, as he
once more braced himself for a godawful morning in this house.
===============================================================================
Though Lex was used to waking up relatively early, last night he'd decided to
sleep in, mostly to take advantage of his little impromptu break from studying
and really only partially to put off the dreaded conversation with Colin he’d
for some reason agreed to, so when he woke up and saw it was still dark
outside, he was understandably confused and groggy.
He closed his eyes and waited to fall back to sleep.
But then he heard a sound, heard it again, the creaking of someone walking down
the hall at something like three in the morning and not even bothering to
tiptoe.
And Lex couldn’t stand not knowing. 
He quickly hauled himself out of bed to take a look, cracking open his door and
squinting into the gloom of the hallway. Moonlight streamed through the floor
to ceiling windows on the left, and Lex just caught sight of the door to Dad’s
master bedroom swinging closed behind someone, footsteps causing the sliver of
yellow light visible under the door to ripple and blink before shining steadily
once more.
Just the old man finally calling it a night. Lex shook his head at himself,
wondering what the hell he’d thought it was.
Workaholic and perfectionist, three was probably him turning in early.
Later, Lex woke up abruptly from a bad dream, only it was light outside and
birds were singing right outside his window.  
===============================================================================
Colin wasn't in his bedroom, the entertainment room, or the kitchen. Then Lex
remembered what Lian had said about Colin drawing in the atrium.
When he reached the closed glass doors, he stopped, recognizing the shouting
coming from within. Taking a look through the pane, he saw Dad on the right,
waving his arms and looking particularly frustrated, and Colin as the obvious
target. Head down and shoulders hunched, the kid looked thoroughly chastised
and altogether miserable. Smart kid, though. Once Dad hit his stride, it was
easiest to just roll over and show one's belly and pray he won't go for the
throat. Lex managed to wilt perhaps only once every ten spats, but he took
pride in making the old bastard work for it.
Colin always rolled over. Except yesterday.
And that was maybe the first time Lex had ever seen that kid mad.
Dad finished his rant by reaching out and lightly shoving Colin, not a slap or
a cuff like when he was really angry, and not enough to push Lin in the water
or topple him sideways, but it still proved upsetting to Lex.
It was still somehow upsetting, even on this side, to see Colin treated that
way.
He might not like the little shit, but that didn’t mean he wanted to see him–
Maybe it was just another act, another show for Lex’s benefit. Dad and Colin,
cohorts and coconspirators and partners in fucking crime.
But maybe it was real.
Suddenly, the door was yanked open.
Dad said a cool, "Lex," as he breezed past, too quickly for Lex to catch him,
pick at him, trick him into giving up whatever tidbit he was holding on to.
Bad news.
Something to do with Colin.
Maybe a bust business deal?
Maybe a deal Colin bust?
Lex cracked his knuckles before walking into the atrium.
More plants now, succulents and leafy ferns and tropical flowers, and if Colin
spent a lot of time here that made sense.
Tiny four-year-old with his “friendly flowers.” He’d loved drawing them and
talking to them and sitting with Lex as he read to him and tried to explain
Latin, why each plant had two names, like people—something just for them and
something for their family.
“Don't think we need to worry about oxygen in here,” Lex said, stopping on the
opposite side of the black tile pool. The dense humidity curled the ends of
Colin’s hair and had Lex breaking a sweat. It was like August in the city,
oppressively hot and crowded and yet oddly isolating.
Lex was almost shocked when Colin looked up and made eye contact.
‘Unhealthy’ was his first thought, followed shortly by ‘unhappy.’
Dark circles, hollow cheeks, snarled hair: he was maybe a typical teenager but
a far cry from that precise, orderly little stick figure Lex could remember
yelling when he’d left.
But kids change a lot between 11 and 15. Growth spurt or two, baby fat burning
off, developing informed opinions on big issues and a fondness for Tim Burton
movies, apparently, gestures he made, phrases he fell back on, and Colin was
this house, this life Lex had tried so fucking hard to ignore and forget and
overcome.
And he looked sick.
Didn't eat last night, and neither Dad nor Julian considered that strange.
“Julian's worried about you,” Lex said, figuring he might as well just charge
in full-steam.
Colin would know he wasn't doing this out of the goodness of his heart because
Lex still thought they were, somehow, despite it all, still on the same page.
It wasn’t concern for Colin now driving him, just his natural curiosity, his
need to keep informed, to not be caught off guard again, and Colin would know
that.
He’d know Lex as well as Lex, finally, knew him.
Right?
Colin nodded and smirked in response, and it wasn’t a smile, real or fake, or a
beaming grin like Lex remembered from when they were kids, but it was something
more than yesterday's indifference.
Of course, the nastier part of Lex wondered if maybe it weren’t the shithead’s
guilty conscience finally coming home to roost.
Was this the beginning of amends?
Or was this just more of the same?
Lex immediately felt bad for thinking that, even though he had every goddamn
reason to, even though he was the injured party here, the betrayed, the one
Colin had spied on back in the day, spied on for Dad, for Christ’s sake.
Lex wanted to believe it served Colin right.
“Apparently,” Lex started to say, before he could overthink it, “you’re
spending too much time with Dad these days, at least according to Lian. . . ”
He trailed off when he noticed how stiff and tense Colin had gone.
Something about the set of Lin’s shoulders pricked Lex the wrong way.
And he wanted to ask what was wrong, wanted to tug once more on one of those
many now-fraying threads they’d used to weave together back when they were
kids, when it was them against the world.
He wanted to and yet. . .
Lex said, “I'm sorry to hear he's making you stay home again. Even Excelsior’s
gotta be better than stuck here all day or tagging along with him to all those
meetings. Or going back to that Centre.”
No response.
Colin wasn't looking at him anymore, just starting off into space.
“Hey,” Lex tried, “what's the big news by the way?”
“Do you remember Daniel?”
Abruptly dredged up and apropos of nothing, Lex was surprised the question
wasn't rhetorical.
“His last PA?” Lex asked, game-face on. “Wasn't he a Daniel? Or maybe a David.
Or do you mean the ‘man-made maid’?”
That old in-joke. . . 
“The ‘man-maid,’ ” Colin said.
“What about him?”
“What did he say to you before you left—for Princeton?”
Strangely specific detour.
Fishing?
Knowing this family, almost certainly.
Lex shifted his weight from one foot to the other and finally said, “Something
like, ‘Don't waste your brains down a sewer.’ Ever the poet, right?”
Dig at his past recklessness, sure, at the drugs and people, but also a dig at
Colin and that first disastrous foray of his into playing both sides.
But Colin still wasn't looking at him. He had been at first, but now he was off
somewhere else, judging by the familiar mannequin glaze.
“What's he got to do with any of this?” Lex asked.
“Nothing,” Colin said, a few seconds too late, voice just this side of blasé.
And Lex just about caught what was lurking beneath. Worry? Fear?
Too close to home.
Colin abruptly scooted back from the edge of the pool and pulled his legs from
the water. He then got to his feet and said, even as he was walking away from
Lex, "Just remembering better times and all that."
Then he was across the dark wet tile and, without a coat or even shoes,
unlocking and opening the exterior doors. Out went Colin into November, and Lex
felt as dazed and blank as Colin looked.
The doors rattled closed behind Colin, and Lex sighed, putting his head in his
hands.
Well, that had gone well. Lian would be overjoyed with how Lex had handled the
situation. Problem solved.
Obviously, in retrospect, the direct approach wasn't the best one, and he
probably shouldn't have emphasized the fact that the only reason he'd initiated
the conversation was because of Julian.
Lex hated this, felt like he'd let himself down once again and fallen prey to
the deception, but he did feel bad for Colin. The kid was obviously stressed
about something.
Not sleeping, not eating, not speaking, angry but swallowing it down—Lex knew
from personal experience what waited on the other side of repression.
And now Lin was trapped here in the house again, here or at the Centre.
That fucking place.
Lex wondered if Colin still hated it there. He had when they were younger.
He used to beg Lex to try and convince Dad to let Colin stay home.
Maybe he still wanted to. Maybe he’d hated that place this whole time.  
Lin used to be so small, and he'd hadn't spoken a whole hell of a lot then
either. Mom got him to say things but usually only the polite words: yes, no,
please, thank you. Colin never asked for anything, never threw a tantrum or
refused to do what he was told. He was ever the good child, docile, meek,
obliging, and painfully shy.
Lex remembered trying to diagnose him, reading up on autism because it just
seemed so strange for a four-year-old kid to hide and look away and not say
anything. And Colin would stare and stare at everything, forks and jackets and
rugs and the TV.
He remembered how protective he’d felt. Mom had read to them at night before
bed, and while Lex pretended to let her because it made her happy, in all
actuality he was the one who’d told her which books to read and made sure she
never forgot. He'd taken it upon himself to pick out more books with pictures
so that Colin could enjoy them.
He liked to think he was the one who'd helped Colin fall in love with art.
Even now, after everything.
The first time Colin asked him if he had anything to ‘make pictures on’ was a
few months after he'd come to stay with them.
He was so small, so young and scared.
Lillian had let Colin look through her old college art books portfolios, so Lex
wasn't all that surprised when the boy wanted to imitate what he'd liked so
much. Lex asked Mom for some paper and art pencils and crayons and then gave
them to Colin.
And he’d wondered since if maybe that wasn’t the first present the kid had
received.
And weren't they all surprised when he drew things like the Confusion of
Tongues and Hylas and the Nymphs using only crayons.
Lex figured out two important things right then: first, Colin was a prodigy,
and if he could recreate those paintings just from memory then he could most
likely do other incredibly difficult things; second, he hated attention. Colin
clearly had no idea what to do when people talked to him. Lex tried to teach
him, felt it was his duty as the older brother to show him how to act gracious,
but Colin never got the hang of it.
Instead, he started deliberately hiding his drawings so that no one would see
them.
Or he’d hide himself away until whoever it was forgot why they were looking for
him.
And Lex couldn't understand that, couldn't fathom why Colin wanted to be
invisible, why he tried so hard to disappear and deny something that made him
the good kind of special.
Envy. Envy is ugly and childish, and Lex learned it as a child. 
Growing up, they each had what the other wanted.
Lex died a little more inside, became a little more obnoxious and petty every
time his father ignored him and brushed him aside to get to Colin, and Colin
had suffered what Lex knows now were panic attacks each time Dad and even Mom
spoke to him or asked him a question or tried to put a hand on his shoulder,
pull him close for a hug. Here was this beautiful child and absurdly handsome
teenager with his head of glorious hair, and here was Lex, pale and pudgy as a
child and though now slimmer and in possession of a better physique, still
incredibly pale as an adult. 
Here was Lex, still hairless, almost completely so and certainly freakishly so.
At least Julian had been blessed with their father's curly brown hair and not
their mother's painfully vibrant red. It had looked brilliant on her but
ridiculous on Lex.
And maybe that was the silver lining right there: Lex no longer looked like
Bozo the Clown.
He now only reminded people of an underfed Uncle Fester. 
===============================================================================
Dinner that night was pretty much the same as last night's, save Colin's
presence across from Lex. Dad single-mindedly ate his meal, and Lian quietly
finished his vegetables first, as though Dad would even care if any of them
didn't clean their plates.
Lex took to studying Colin throughout the meal, as the kid just moved the food
around on his plate and didn't even try to fake eating. He also kept his eyes
on Dad, slowly getting the feeling he was watching something other than just
Colin being angry at their father and Dad, as usual, being more interested in
his brisket than his dependents. Some undercurrent strummed through them all,
hinting that Dad wasn't actually indifferent to Colin's presence at the
table—or to the kid's rage. Dad's face would twitch whenever Colin deliberately
set down his glass too hard on the table or dropped his fork on the plate or
screeched metal tines across china. Lex even caught a couple of sighs coming
from his right, a sure sign Dad was only acting uninterested.
By the end, they were all wound tighter than a new girdle, Lex practically
dragging Lian away from the table.
===============================================================================
Late that night as he was reading, Lex heard creaking outside his door and
decided to make sure it was actually Dad and not some servant bent on thievery.
He opened his door and heard the same footsteps as last night, walking steadily
down the hall past Lian's room towards the master suite. The moon wasn't full
but still bright enough for Lex to make out long hair and plaid pajama bottoms
and someone not his father.
Lex saw him, watched him open the door casually and go inside like it was
nothing, shut the door behind himself quietly, and all like it was normal,
routine, like there was nothing weird or strange about Colin waltzing into
Dad's bedroom in the middle of the night.
===============================================================================
Lex didn't go back to sleep. He picked up his book and couldn't read it, his
hands shaking and his eyes unable to focus on the page in front of him. Then he
set it aside and started pacing, something Dad had endeavored to mock out of
him, with little success. 
"If you get rattled so visibly, son," he'd once memorably said, "you'll never
be able to do anything even remotely stressful. You'll always give the game
away, and then where will we be, hmm? Perhaps you can be the official
Luthorcorp pencil sharpener, though even that might be too much responsibility
for such a delicate, sensitive, high-strung young man as yourself."
Dad had been particularly vicious that summer, and Lex had a hard time
remembering why exactly. It was most likely due to another scandal popping up
in tabloids and gossip mags, but that certainly didn't narrow the field.
Usually their father’s taunts and brutal remarks weren't as cruel as that one,
but it was true that every now and then it seemed his sole mission in life was
to see if he could make his sons cry.
Make them cry.
Make them sick and angry.
Lex started posing questions in his mind. ‘Why is Colin going into your room at
three in the morning?’ probably wouldn't be the best bet, but it would succeed
in taking the old snake by surprise.  
Finally the sun rose, and he gave up and went to shower. The hot water helped
push away the storm raging in his head for a few minutes, enough for him to
catch his breath and realize he'd been clenching his hands so tightly his
fingernails had left bloody crescent-shaped moons on his palms.
As he dressed, he heard the opening and closing of a door down the hall but
refused to go and look. He knew which door it was, and he now knew who it was
making his escape—escape, for Christ’s sake, doing the walk of shame in their
own house. . .   
Breakfast later consisted of three cups of black coffee and glaring at Dad. Lex
could feel Lian's confusion from where he sat next to him but forced himself to
remain silent. This was neither the time nor the place for Lex's accusations.
He'd corner Dad later in the man's office, away from Lian and Colin.
And Lex wasn’t at all surprised Colin was absent.
Afterward, in an effort to kill some time and salvage even just the bare amount
of joy from this fucking visit, Lex challenged Lian to a game of chess. Turned
out Lian was quite the shark. They played three games, and Lex lost twice.
Twice! Julian would be formidable when he was older.
Toward the end of the second game, Lex felt eyes on them and glanced up to see
Dad watching them from the doorway. He was leaning against the doorjamb, hands
casually in his trouser pockets and a wistful look on his face, although once
he saw Lex had spotted him, he quickly schooled his expression to one of blank
boredom. It was a familiar expression.
God, they were all like little clones of him.
Dad remained there through Lex just barely managing to escape one of Lian's
checks by taking the boy’s nearby rook, but when Lex looked over at the doorway
after that it stood empty. And Julian, when Lex turned back to the board once
more, had looked strangely apologetic.
But Lex wasn't embarrassed that Lian beat him at chess, and he wasn’t ashamed.
He was proud, proud that Lian felt it wasn't necessary to hide how accomplished
he was.
And he was sad, of course, because where he felt he’d succeeded with Julian, he
knew he’d failed Colin. Maybe Lex should have invited him, and they could have
made a tournament out of it. Again, guilt washed over him and anxiety because
he never won against Dad, not in any way involving anything.
And the stakes were so much higher now.
===============================================================================
A friend of his from boarding school had once spent the winter break with them
at the house. He'd remarked that he was taken aback by the lack of brimstone
and screaming, as Lex's descriptions of his father and home life had closely
resembled those of the Devil and Hell, respectively. Lex of course laughed,
partly due to the comment itself, but mostly because of Bruce's timing in
saying it in the middle of formal dinner. The resulting sour expression on
Dad's face had definitely been worth the lecture Lex received that night, all
about proper connections and useless playboys. And it was even better because
Bruce staying with them over Christmas and New Year's meant Lex traveled to
Gotham for Spring Break and Easter. Although looking back, he now felt a little
guiltier than he had then about abandoning his brothers to Lionel's not-so-
tender mercies on Easter.
Easter had been Mom's favorite holiday, and that year his father was
particularly harsh and snappish. Lex didn't know why, didn't really care to
find out. Regardless, whenever something even remotely reminded him of his
wife, Lionel lashed out or disappeared, which could possibly explain why he
rarely looked at Lex while talking to him, much preferring to call him or have
some email dictated to him.
Lex looked like Lillian, and Julian looked like Lionel, although both had their
mother's ever-changing eyes, and both were left-handed like Lionel and like
Mom's father had been evidently, if Lex remembered right. In fact, all of the
Luthor men were left-handed, as Colin predominantly used his left as well. In
truth, Colin was ambidextrous but had once confessed to Lex that he
deliberately used his left in order to fit into the family better.
During Bruce's stay at 'Chez Luthor,' the two of them had endeavored to spend
as much time with Lex's two brothers as possible. Lex had missed them, and as
Bruce had no real family besides his butler he'd been greatly interested in the
dynamic of Lex's, though Lex repeatedly told his friend that they were not a
normal family.
Thinking about Bruce brought up mixed feelings these days. Lex hadn't been in
contact with his former best friend in years, and last he knew Bruce had been
requested to leave (read: kicked out of) Princeton and had promptly dropped off
the map.
Lex learned his lesson. He kept to himself now, not making any close friends,
only acquaintances. Back at the academy, he and Bruce had hung around with a
few others of similar mind-set, necessary there to have at least a few guys at
one's back who could fight, would fight, either with words or fists. It was
Bruce who'd taught Lex how to block and dodge and punch, who'd stood with him a
few times, who'd answered his questions, and who'd toss out good advice like
candy at parades, advice he never took himself, all about introspection and
passion and making a goddamn difference in the world. Bruce the adolescent
psychologist, the guru of misfit wealthy boys, who could dissect a person with
his gaze, smell a lie a mile away, and who Lex would put money on knew more
about a person in five minutes than most people gleaned over several years of
intimacy.  
And what he'd picked up on when he'd been in this house for two and a half
weeks was something Lex was only now just figuring out years later.  
They'd been in the entertainment room, Lex and Bruce watching a movie while
Colin drew and kept an eye on Lian. Throughout the evening, Bruce had been
surreptitiously watching Colin. That was when Colin had been stuck on the color
red, red ink, red paint, red paper, and his hands had constantly looked as
though they were coated in blood. When it was time to put Lian to bed, Colin
volunteered to tuck him in and read him a story or three, leaving Bruce, Lex,
and his sketchbook alone in the room for a good half hour.  
Bruce turned to Lex with a raised eyebrow then slid his eyes over to the
abandoned sketch pad. An invasion of Colin's privacy, but what could it hurt?
Lex could remember thinking that. What kind of secrets would an 11-year-old
have? Even one as introverted as Colin. And Colin never showed anyone his
artwork anymore.  
They'd both stood up and walked over and looked through it until they reached
the last drawing and then they both stood there, shocked speechless.  
The majority of Colin's drawings were landscapes, all red trees and red leaves
and too many suns and moons floating in the sky, red stars and red grass and
even the odd red animal here and there.  Only five were portraits, one  each of
Lex, Julian, Bruce, and two of Lionel. Bruce was drawn in profile, strangely
grinning, which Lex had chalked up to artistic license. Julian was laughing
mid-tickle, the hands doing the tickling looking like Lex's own. In the
portrait of him, Lex was scowling, red crosshatch depicting him glaring towards
his right.
And then the drawings of Lionel. The first was of him full tilt shouting, arms
flung wide and face contorted in a sneer. Lex had no trouble identifying that
look. The second was a sick bookend to the first, Lionel open-mouthed and wide-
eyed and almost smiling, drawn doing something Lex back then hadn't been able
to tackle, like a suitcase with a bomb inside he'd hid at the back of the
closet. 
He should have asked. Back then, he probably would've got an answer too. What
must Bruce have thought?
"Did you see the figure in the eyes?" Bruce had asked. "Lex."
" Huh? Pardon, what'd you say?"
"I asked if you'd seen the figure Colin drew in each eye."  
"What figure? There was a figure?" Lex asked dazedly, still attempting to
process what he'd seen, what Colin had drawn, the secrets of an 11-year-old.  
"There was a child crouching in each figure's left pupil."
Lex swallowed thickly and pressed his fingers to his eyes as though he could
wipe it away, blot it out and keep avoiding it all, drown it in denial and
self-pity, make Colin the villain again, walk away and still leave that
suitcase untouched.
He didn't have to unpack the past; he could sublimate, push it onto other
people—like he'd been doing for almost a decade. 
After all, his father was only molesting his adopted brother. Not like it was
the end of the world.
===============================================================================
At a quarter to three in the afternoon, Lex was pacing in his room again when
Lian came bursting through the door, pale and loud.
"Lian, what's– ?"
"Lex, he won't come down! I tried to get him away, but he won't." Lian choked
back a sob. "He won't– !"
Lex grabbed him by the shoulders and demanded, "Who won't come down? From
where?"
"He's on the roof! Colin! He won't come down, Lex! I tried, I did, Lex– !"
===============================================================================
When he was 11, Christmas was celebrated without much fanfare. Dad had been
absent that year, overseas in Tokyo, but it was also due to the fact that it
was Colin's first Christmas with them. Lillian had wanted the boy to feel
comfortable and at home, rather than anxious and uneasy in his new father's
habitual and overly formal observation of the holiday. Lionel had brought the
four-year-old home in mid-January of that same year, and so while technically
Colin's first holiday with them had been Easter (as Lionel refused to
acknowledge either St. Valentine's or St. Patrick's Day for some reason known
only to the man himself), everyone knew Christmas was a much bigger and more
important affair than any of the others. In fact, growing up, Lex recalled that
December was especially hectic and chaotic with party-planning and decorating
because Lillian's birthday was December 29th, and the Luthors always threw a
huge banquet and ballroom extravaganza on New Year's Eve, combining both events
into one gigantic celebration.
That Christmas of 1991 was the source of some of Lex's favorite memories, not
only because of his father's absence, but also because it was the last time
they'd ever happily celebrated the holiday. The next year's had been almost
nonexistent. Lillian had been in the hospital, and little Lian, barely a week
old and so tiny, had just been brought home.
Lex's mother died on January 9th, 1993 at 7:20 p.m. Lionel was with her in the
room, Lex had been at home on the phone pleading and crying a message to a
doctor's answering service in Gotham, and Colin had been at the Centre. Julian
had been upstairs in the nursery with the nanny looking after him, asleep in
his crib with no knowledge of what was going on.
But that Christmas the year before had been wonderful, full of laughter and
smiles. Lex had taken to guiding Colin through the various traditions and
activities he and his mother always planned, and the boy couldn't have been
more excited and cheerful. Lex had gifted him with a set of his favorite
Warrior Angel comics, figuring Colin would enjoy the art. In return, Colin had
drawn a detailed portrait of Lex and Lillian, giving it to him along with a
bear hug. Lex's face had been sore at the end of the day, he'd smiled so much.
The date of Colin's birthday was something of a mystery. Lex had once overheard
a conversation between his parents where the words "abandoned" and "junkies"
had come up. So Lillian had decided to celebrate both her own and her new son's
birthday together that year. It'd been left up to Lex to fully explain why
Colin had to wear a suit and tie to an adult's party, but finally he just said,
"Because it will make Mom happy," at which point his little brother had simply
nodded sagely and stopped asking.
They celebrated neither Lillian's nor Colin's birthday the next year, and the
year after that his father insisted on changing Colin's to August 21st, the
same as Lionel's own. And every year since 1993, Luthorcorp hosted the big New
Year's party downtown, and Lionel was away for Christmas.
Poor Julian's birthday was always overshadowed by the impending anniversary of
his mother's death, her 'would-have-been' birthday, and the bittersweet
memories of Christmases and New Year's Days past. Lex tried to make the day
special but knew their father's continued absence made it hard not to take it
personally. Lian grew up thinking his birth had caused his own mother's death,
when really she'd been dying of cancer before he'd even been conceived. No
matter how many times Lex tried to convince him that it wasn't his fault their
father was an icy bastard, although he never used those exact words, Lian was
never happy to see his birthday.
Colin was sent to the Centre over the winter holidays and, looking back, Lex
realized after his mother died Colin was wholly Lionel's, even more so and in
different ways than either Lex or Julian. That's when Colin became Lionel's
shadow, his puppet and lackey, his little spy. The kid grew his hair out and
wore business casual, and whenever Lex would come home from boarding school
Colin would speak less and less, until Lex thought he must only talk to Lionel.
Evidently it was just Lex he ignored. 
Mom would be upset if she saw what had become of their family: Lex despising
Lionel and essentially abandoning his brothers; Lian alone and deeply out of
his depth; and—Colin. But if Lillian knew what her husband was doing to her
sons, Lex was sure she'd forgive him his hatred, maybe even encourage it. She'd
been kind and affectionate, but there were lines, and she'd had no problem
yelling at Dad when she felt he'd done something deplorable. If she were here
now, none of this would have happened.
===============================================================================
"Shit!" Lex said. Grabbing Lian's arm, he bolted for the door, saying, "Show me
where he is. How long has he been up there?"
Lian took a deep breath as they broke into a run down the hall, taking the
stairs to the attic two and three at a time. "I don't know," Lian said, gasping
and winded from having run all over the house, "but when I went to knock on his
door—he wasn't there—so I looked everywhere—even the gazebo—and when I was
going back inside—there were papers falling into the bushes."
The door to the roof was wide open, a cold wind moving it slightly back and
forth ominously and sending chills running down Lex's arms. He overtook Julian
and was first through the door but stopped abruptly at the top, Julian pushing
past him and slowly walking over to where Colin stood on the ledge.
"Lin, what's going on?" Lian asked.
There were the remains of several sketchbooks behind Colin on the ground, just
front and back covers and everything within thrown over the side into the wet
wind and snow. He was visibly shivering, barefoot and wearing only pants and a
t-shirt, and he didn't say a single word or make any noise, just the howling
wind and barely perceptible ripping of paper. Five stories up with slick and
unsteady footing, one wrong move and the wind would just carry him right over
the side.
"Come away from the ledge, Colin," Lex said, walking closer until he was just
below him to his right, at which point he could see Colin's face.
He was smiling, laughing, clearly hysterical but that wasn't what Lex had
expected. He'd been ready for tears, sobbing, even more of that anger—not glee.
But this wasn't right or healthy, destroying something he clearly loved in such
an elaborately risky way, and so Lex dared to set his hand on Colin's right
arm. "You're scaring Lian," he said, playing his trump card, "and you're
scaring me. Please come down." Colin went still but didn't turn, so Lex said
without thinking, "He isn't worth it." 
The sketchbook in his hands was dropped right over the edge, and then Colin
shifted, turning and stepping down off the edge. Lex grabbed him by the
shoulders, scared that it was a ruse, that Colin would jerk free and throw
himself over next. He held on, and tried to catch Lin's eyes, and now there
were tears.
"I'm sorry," Colin said, the 'sorry' forced through a sob.
"Jesus Christ," Lex responded. Julian was inching closer, just as wary as Lex
about somehow startling Colin into finishing the job. When he was near, Lian
reached out and wrapped himself around Colin, another body to hold him back.  
"Why?!" Lian said, "Why were you doing that? I saw you. I was so afraid you
were gonna jum– !" Lian abruptly stopped talking, shooting a look at Lex.
Yeah, not the best thing to discuss while still on the fucking roof. 
Lex slowly shifted Colin to his side and started walking back to the door.
===============================================================================
His first semester at college, he was at Princeton and lived off-campus with
Bruce. They shared a townhouse in Lawrenceville, six miles and about twelve
minutes away from campus. Their place was nice, new and furnished and
ridiculously expensive. Lex hated it in that detached resentful way he hated
most everything about being a Luthor. He didn't know what Bruce thought, as
he'd become even broodier since graduation in the spring. The house was 1300
sq. feet, comprised of three bedrooms, though only the one was used regularly,
each with its own bath, featuring a big kitchen which neither of them really
knew how to use apart from making coffee and toast, and the usual assortment of
living and dining rooms.
The class load Lex took that semester was great, mostly hard science and
engineering with one business course thrown in for variety.
Bruce was a robot on autopilot. He left the house after Lex in the morning and
was already there when Lex came home in the evening, or maybe he didn't leave
at all, just stayed in there stewing all day every day, whatever it was he
wouldn't share eating away at him for several months.
But Lex was busy, too busy, the kind where he pulled A's to the exclusion of
everything and everyone else, but there wasn't an alternative. If he wanted to
be the very best at Princeton, he had lighten the load somehow. People were
first. Lionel often barged in unexpectedly, checking up on him, and Julian
called and left messages a few times a week, and Bruce was always there, but
they were distractions, secondary concerns.  
He did feel guilty whenever Julian called and he didn't have time to return it,
forgot about altogether until Lian left the next message, asking if Lex were
mad at him, if he were ok. He'd come home to Bruce sitting in the dark, looking
out a window and telling him his little brother had called again, that he,
Bruce, had talked to him for a bit.
It was always Julian or Lionel; Colin never once called. 
So it was only mildly surprising when, after his last final at an especially
heinous nine in the morning, he came in and dumped his stuff in the entryway to
the sound of Bruce talking on the phone.
Assuming it was just Lionel cancelling 'the inspection' before heading into
Gotham, Lex walked to the fridge in search of food. The tabloids had recently
linked his father to a senator's ex-wife, and he had no doubt in his mind that
all these recent trips weren't solely business-related.
Then Bruce said loudly, "Hey, hey! Calm down, he just came in the door," which
wasn't how he talked to anyone. "Here, I'll put him on." Then he held out the
phone, and with a sinking feeling of dread, Lex walked over and took it.
"Julian?" he guessed. "What's going on?" He could hear heavy breathing and
sniffling over the line. "Hey, what's the matter?" he asked quietly.
"I think he's dead," Lian blurted out, and Lex's stomach just shriveled into a
tight knot. Oh, God. . . 
"They took him away," Lian said, audibly crying and almost shrill. "I know I'm
not supposed to call you, but I didn't know what else to do! Are you coming
home? Dad said you weren't and that I wasn't– wasn't to say anything, but he's
dead! He looked dead, Lex!" 
Lex had been pacing, but he stopped when Lian went quiet. 
"Julian," he said, trying and failing to sound calm and supportive, "take a
breath and slowly let it out." He waited and then said, "Now tell me what
happened from the beginning, ok? When was this? Today?"

"He was acting funny last night," Lian said, "mean and asking Dad a lot of
questions. And then Dad got mad and asked him what he thought he was doing, and
then he told Lin to go to his room. But then Lin got even madder and threw his
plate at the wall, and it broke. And then he left."
Lex took a deep breath himself and tried to keep his shock under control as he
asked, "And then what happened?"
"I didn't see him for awhile. He went to his room, like Dad said, but later I
could hear them yelling at each other. And then when I– when I got up this
morning– " Lian broke off, and his breathing picked up again, terrified and
hysterical, and Lex wanted to tell him to breathe but he needed to find out
what had happened first. He had to know.
"Lian. . . " Lex whispered.
"I went to the bathroom when I woke up this morning," Lian said, "and he wasn't
moving! He was just—lying there! And he was dead! He was dead, Lex! He wasn't
breathing, and I think I– I screamed, and Dad came in, and then Kate came and
made me wait in the hall, and then Dad was yelling at someone on the phone, and
he was still– still just in there, on the floor."
At this point, Lian stopped talking and his sniffling became full-out crying
and these terrible little whimpers.
Lex couldn't process any of that, so he latched onto the first thing. "Who's
Kate, Lian?" he asked, hoping it would distract his brother long enough for him
to calm down a bit, for both of them to calm down. 
"My new nanny. Dad fired Julia last month. He said she was too nosy and was
probably stealing, but I don't think she was. I liked Julia. She was nice, and
she didn't make fun of– of Lin like Chelsea did." 
What did he say to all that? He hadn't been known Chelsea made fun of Colin. He
hadn't even met Julia, but Chelsea had had a dry sense of humor and dressed
rather conservatively for a woman hired by Lionel. Why would she have made fun
of Colin?
"So who's there now? Kate? Is she there with you? And forget what Dad said, ok?
You can always call me. Anytime."
"Dad said you're too busy," Lian said.
Christ.

"He said I wasn't to bother you with this," Lian continued, "but– but I thought
you should know. I think he– I think he might be. . . " Lian didn't finish,
just took a big breath and said, "They came and put him on a stretcher. And Dad
and his new assistant were talking and then Dad left, and the assistant stayed
here for awhile, but then he got a phone call and he left too. Lawrence? I
think his name was Lawrence-something."
Julian was good with details. He'd make a good spy—or Luthor.
"I'm glad you called me," Lex said, reassuringly. "I want to know if anything's
wrong. And just because I'm not there doesn't mean I don't care, ok? Where's
Colin now, do you know?" 
"Dad was yelling at someone on the phone. Then later Lawrence was there, and he
told Kate to take me to the kitchen, but she didn't stop me from looking, and I
saw them take Lin away. He wasn't moving. Did they take him to the hospital?
Stretchers and ambulances, right? Maybe he went. To the hospital.  Graham at
school said that once his Uncle Charlie had to go to the hospi– "
Lian kept talking, but Lex couldn't focus very well. Too much information on no
sleep had shut down his brain. Lawrence, Kate, Dad yelling at someone, and
Colin. Jesus Christ. It sounded like a suicide attempt. Drugs? Lian hadn't said
anything about blood, so Lex assumed it was an overdose. But Colin was only 12
years old! He didn't leave the house unsupervised or at least hadn't when Lex
was back there. Where would he even get drugs? How would he buy them? Did he
have money? Lex hadn't had any kind of cash or credit cards when he'd been 12.
Maybe it was different with Colin. Lionel always treated him differently.
Look what's come of that.
His head hurt and he didn't know what to do, what he could do from here. He
wasn't going back for Winter Break, and how awful that he'd forgotten about
Julian being stuck there. Over his birthday. Although, considering some of the
experiences Lex had had with their father growing up, maybe Lian was better off
spending Christmas without the rest of them. It might be lonely, but at least
he wouldn't be humiliated and mocked by his own father. Lionel was a dangerous
and cagey creature in the best of circumstances, and the winter holidays were
most definitely some of the worst circumstances to be had.
And now this.
" –but I told him that I didn't think the teacher would like that, so he just
stuck his tongue out at me and turned around. Lex? Are you still there?"

Lian's voice suddenly came to a stop, and Lex realized he had to respond. 
"Yeah, I'm just shocked," Lex said. "You said you weren't supposed to call me,
that Dad had told you not to. I don't want you to get in trouble, Lian. Perhaps
I'd better let you go, but don't worry: I'll call Dad and find out what's going
on. And I'll call you back when I know more. Your birthday's in a couple weeks,
right?"
Yeah, that's right, remind him that he'll be alone. Nice. 
He heard a sniffle and a sigh, and then Lian said, "Yeah, only two weeks and
three days. But you won't be here, and neither will Dad. And now neither will
Lin. He'd promised to ask if he could spend Christmas here, but now. I'll be
all alone." The sniffling was back in full force, and Lex swore he could
actually hear the tears running down Lian's face. "But it'll be ok," Lian said,
"even without you. Kate's here and she's nice. You and Bruce can have Christmas
there in New Jersey, Lex. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine." And then he hung
up. Lian hung up on him. 
Lex stood there before eventually hitting the 'Off' button. When he turned, he
realized Bruce was sitting on the sofa and had been the entire time. 
"Suicide attempt?" Bruce asked calmly, as though he were asking about the damn
weather forecast.
"I don't know," Lex answered. "Probably." And with that he turned and set the
phone back in its cradle, passing by Bruce on his way into their bedroom.
===============================================================================
Interlude
Lian had always had a hard time understanding his brothers' relationship, or
non-relationship. He had vague memories of the two of them talking and joking
but had decided that maybe he'd just made that all up because the last few
years they never spoke to each other at all.
Lian had always looked up to Lex. He was everything Lian wanted to be, except
when he was mean. Lian wasn't mean, and neither was Lin—mostly. Lex was loud
and smart and popular, and Lian was ok. He was getting better. He had friends
now. Lin didn't. Lin was quiet, and he was smart too, but he wasn't loud.
Everyone liked Lex, except Dad, except Lin now. And only Lian liked Lin. Lex
had everyone, and Lian had some too, and Lin only had him.
All his nannies were always so weird when they met Lin. They treated him like
he was stupid. First, they would ask him lots of questions and smile a lot, and
when Lin wouldn't answer they'd get mean. Lian always warned them, tried to
explain that Lin wasn't like Lex or Dad, wasn't like Lian, but they thought he
was stupid too, so they ignored him. It was like they got mad when Lin didn't
talk to them, like they were special enough that he'd be different just for
them when even Lian couldn't get him to talk most of the time. Lin just didn't
like being around people, but he made Lian the exception, which meant he was
the special one. And he earned it. That was his job. He sat with Lin when he
didn't talk, when he was sad enough that he cried. Lian talked for him, made
jokes that were stupid and not funny but that Lin laughed at anyway or at least
smiled. Lin smiled and he laughed and he talked, and he did that with Lian.
But never right after he got home, sometimes not even when he'd been home all
day, and never with Dad or Lex. Not anymore. Lin came home in the springtime,
and he didn't laugh for days or weeks. He would smile and it wouldn't be real,
just something he did because he thought he had to. So Lian wouldn't try to
make him smile; he'd just sit with him and talk about stuff that wasn't funny
but wasn't sad, like his day at school and what he'd learned. Or they'd watch
movies, and Lian would make Lin choose, even though mostly the movies he picked
were weird and not happy at all. 
And Lian made sure he didn't ignore Lin, not just because everyone else did. He
had to. Ever since that one time when Lin was angry and mean and hid from Lian
and then he'd taken away, Lian always tried to keep his brother company. He
followed him and made sure he was ok because he didn't want something like that
to happen again. He'd been so afraid Lin had died, and he thought only he and
maybe Dad would have cared. Lex wouldn't have. He was busy. And if Lin were
dead like Mom, then it would just be him and sometimes Dad, and Dad was mean
most of the time.  
But that didn't happen again because Lian was a good brother. And Lin had him
at least. Everyone else might not like him, but Lian did. He never made fun of
him, and he didn't hate him either.
His last nanny, Julia, she'd been the nicest. She'd talked to Lin like all the
others but didn't give up and say nasty things about him when Lin never talked
back. And sometimes she could get him to smile too. She was nice and smart and
she sang songs and she wasn't mean. Chelsea was. She was funny, but it was a
mean kind of funny. And she called people names, not Lian, but the other people
in the house, and he'd heard her say Lin was retarded to one of the florists.
So when Dad fired her, Lian was a little mean too because he was glad she left.
He should be glad when stupid mean people left, even if sometimes nice people
left too like Mom. Or they stopped caring like Lex.
But Julia, she was different. She gave him hugs and kissed his cheek. She
didn't try to hug Colin, which was good because Colin didn't like that stuff
all the time, and sometimes he really didn't like it, not even when Lian tried.
But that didn't make him leave. Lin always came back, even when he gone all
winter or for weeks and weeks. He could be home in the morning when Lian left
for school and then gone for a month when Lian got home. And he was special
because he had tutors and didn't go to school like Lian or even Lex. He didn't
know why he didn't go and was afraid to ask in case it wasn't because he was
special in a good way. Like Lex and how he didn't have hair, and Lian knew it
wasn't a nice story, and it would hurt Lex to ask him about it. So he figured
it was better not to hurt Lin by asking him. And if he couldn't ask Lin and Lex
didn't care anymore, that left Dad, and asking Dad questions was always a bad
idea.
Lian was the youngest, so he thought he probably shouldn't know more than older
people did, but a lot of times he did. He knew when to be quiet and what to say
and he knew how not to hurt people. He was nice to mean people. And maybe that
was what stupid people did, and someday Lex would come back and tell him he was
stupid and not talk to him either, or maybe he'd be there when Lian got home
from school one day and they'd all leave together. Wherever they went, it must
be better than here, and sometimes Lian wished he could leave too, just not get
in the car to come home and run away. If only they were nicer though. If Dad
were nice and not scary, and if he didn't make Lin cry, then they would be
happy. If Lex were here, and he and Lin just sat together and didn't even talk,
then they could be a family. 
But it was all made up stuff like a story. Even Lin's weird movies never ended
like that, and they were full of witches and ghosts and fairy tales. All of
that was stupid. So he talked to Lex, and he kept Lin company, and and he did
what Dad told him, and he tried to be good so they'd all stay, or at least come
back.
===============================================================================
Lex was sitting on a chair in his bedroom, and his hands were shaking. Colin
was in his shower, and Lian was in the doorway to the bathroom, holding a
towel. And this was what it felt like when a foundation crumbled. 
"It's all right, Lex," Lian said, now very calm and even a touch condescending.
"You can flip out now if you want to."
Hilarious on paper.
The water was shut off, and Lian looked back that way. "Lin?" he said, leaving
the doorway and walking into the bathroom. "I've got a towel here for you." 
"I'm sorry you had to come up there," Colin said to him quietly, and Lex shook
his head because this was insane. "I didn't mean to– I didn't want– I mean, I
wasn't going to jump," Colin said, sounding like he was trying for defensive
and snide and just coming up exhausted.
"Colin, why don't you dry off, and put on the clothes Julian got you?" Lex
suggested, surprising himself with how steady his voice was when his hands were
still shaking and he felt like screaming. "Then we can talk."  
"Here, Lin," Lian said from inside the bathroom, and there was rustling as Lin
dried off and dressed and as Lex tried to come up with something to say. And
then his brothers walked into the room.
Lex looked up and waved towards the other chair. After a moment and a few
glances back and forth, Julian sat down in the chair. Colin still stood by the
bathroom. 
"I'm pretty sure I know what's been going on," Lex said, trying to catch
Colin's eyes, which he kept on the floor. "With Dad," Lex added, which got him
to look up quickly and then back down, only now he was tenser. "What
he's—doing, it isn't. This isn't your fault, Colin. And now," he said,
chuckling despite himself, "it's really time to leave. So. We're all going to
pack, and we're going to leave. Now. In—15 minutes, let's say."
Lian was staring at Lex dumbfounded, and Colin looked to be trying to wait him
out. 
"I always knew he was an asshole.," Lex said, "I just didn't realize how bad it
really was. But now I do, and I'm telling you that whatever shit has
happened, you don't have to put up with it. We're not his property, and he
doesn't have the right to touch you."
"What?" Lian asked. "Lex, what's going on? What do you mean?"
Lex, still looking at Colin, said, "He's molesting Colin and has been for
years."
There was that eye contact. And Colin had a good many masks, but Lex would bet
money that wasn't what he was looking at now.
"Wha– ?" Lian said, his mouth hanging open and his eyes tearing up. He looked
how Lex felt or maybe how he wanted to feel. "Lin?" he asked.
Colin breathed out deeply and looked over at Lian, and then Julian started
crying.
"It's not your fault," Lex said again, after Colin dropped his head and seemed
to slump against the doorway like his strings had been cut. Then Lex cleared
his throat. "So let's pack, ok? And then we'll– we'll go to a hotel, and I'll
figure out what to do after that."
Lian was still crying, but he stood up and marched right over to Colin and took
his hand. And then he tugged him out of the room. 
"Holy shit," Lex said to himself, before standing up and repacking the small
amount of stuff he'd managed to fling all over the place in less than a day.
Once done, he walked down the hall to Lian's room, saw him putting shirts in
his little suitcase and went past his room to Lin's. 
Lin, who was sitting motionless on his bed. So Lex set his own bag down and
went to Lin's closet and dragged down a suitcase and started packing for him,
all while Colin sat there. It didn't take long. He opened the dresser drawers
and just took out what was in there and laid it in the suitcase, shirts, pants,
socks. Screw the suits and slacks and dress shirts. Maybe if the kid dressed
like a kid. Maybe if he didn't have to worry about shit like this.
After searching for a minute or two through the drawers, Lex finally asked what
he probably should have just left alone. 
"Where's your underwear?" 
"I don't have any," Colin said. 
Lex didn't shudder and he didn't growl, but he balled his hands into fists and
took a huge breath, holding it until he could think past the disgust and rage.
So he nodded and bent down to zip up the suitcase, leaving the drawers open.
Let him come in here. Let him walk into each room and see them gone.
Turning, he walked closer to Colin. "Ready?" he asked.
"Just a second," Colin said, sliding off the bed to reach under it, pulling out
a small wooden case about the size of a laptop. Picking it up and holding it
under his arm like a book, Colin got to his feet and said, "Keepsakes," in
response to Lex's questioning look.
Lex nodded again dumbly, and they left the room. 
Julian was waiting for them in the hall, his face blotchy but dry, and Lex took
the lead as they went down the stairs. 
Lionel wasn't there to see them leave, his children, his sons. He was off doing
whatever he did everyday when he wasn't spitting on Mom's grave. He'd come back
sometime though, and Lex wished he could see his face when he realized what had
happened. 
As he held the door open, Lex thought of how he'd felt coming back here
yesterday, summoned and answering like nothing had changed, like he was still
that boy wanting Dad's approval. His approval!
His brothers were outside, and Lex turned and slammed the door behind them.
===============================================================================
Lex woke up covered in sweat, the nightmare drifting away like an unpleasant
odor. Looking around frantically in the dark, his memory of the day's events
came back to him slowly. Hotel room. Shared. Concentrating on slowing his
breathing, he looked for his brothers' shadowy forms in the other bed. Lian's
was easily visible. The boy had kicked off the sheet and his left arm and leg
were hanging off the side of the bed. Now that he'd regained some measure of
composure, Lex quietly got out of his own bed and crossed over to put Lian
fully back onto his. As he gently rolled his brother more towards the center,
his eyes fell onto the empty spot beside Julian. Colin had been there earlier.
Lex had kept a look out on them, making sure he waited until they were both
asleep before allowing himself to drift off.
Quietly, Lex left the bedroom and went out into the living area, and there he
was sitting at one of the windows, legs tucked up close to his chest and arms
wrapped around himself. Lex was struck with the countless memories of finding
Bruce in a similar position.
And what would he have said right about now? Lord, Lex missed him. Bruce had
disappeared years ago, no email, phone call, word of farewell. Just vanished,
and no one knew where he'd gone, not even Alfred. Most people thought him dead,
some stupid accident off the coast of Somewhere Exotic, likely drunk and high
and a cautionary tale for wealth, excess, and maybe even some residual guilt
about controversy. Bullshit. Lex knew how stubborn and resourceful Bruce was,
and he was sure the man just didn't want to be found. Which hurt. A lot. Lex
had been thinking the whole time how close they were, how they were able to
understand each other so well, the only two who really could in their circle,
but evidently Bruce hadn't felt the same. 
He would know what to do right about now, with Colin.  
Maybe that was it. Maybe Bruce had run away because of—everything he kept
locked up inside. How alike Bruce and Colin were, both such isolated people,
never comfortable around others, hating and avoiding attention, whether good or
bad. Especially the good, especially from those closest to them, like Lex. Two
rocks he'd dashed himself against more than once, and he'd always broke, not
them. Silent as they both were, at least Bruce could put up a charming front
when he wanted, could charm the pants off anyone. Colin just went dead in the
face, hiding away and staring off into space and drawing everything he–
everything he could've told Lex. 
Because neither Lin nor Bruce ever really shared. Important, painful things
that ate them up, and they didn't say a word. Lex had roomed with Bruce for
years in boarding school, and then they'd had that house at Princeton, and Lex
had, for a very, embarrassingly long time, been in love with Bruce, who had to
have know it, and still there was always a part of Bruce kept separate, a big
part, a core Lex was never allowed to see. Maybe he wasn't trusted enough, or
maybe he'd failed some kind of test. He was no fool, though. He knew scary
things lived inside Bruce, dark, ugly, hurting secrets the man constantly hid
and tried to bury, so he'd never forced the issue. He'd let Bruce brood and
never asked him why or what or any of the important questions. He'd let Bruce
slip away, just stood by and let him run. 
He'd be damned if he let Colin do the same. All this time, wasted. So much
clear now, even if the secrecy and the reasoning behind it baffled him. 
They'd been close too for so long. Or was that just another example of Lex
feeling more than another felt in return? 
"Colin," he called softly, walking over to the window, "why aren't you in
bed?"  
"Can't sleep," Colin said, not looking at him. Clear sky outside, but no stars
were visible, not with the city's pollution. That was one thing Lex remembered
Colin had always been upset about: the lack of stars above Metropolis. 
"It's after three," Lex told him. "Shouldn't you at least try to sleep? Maybe
if you lie down, you'll- " Lex stopped talking as suddenly a thought occurred
to him. The two times he'd seen Colin—walking down the hall at night, it'd been
about this time. And Lex had the sick feeling that perhaps Colin couldn't sleep
now because he normally didn't.
"It's all right," Colin said, eventually. "You don't have to say anything. I'm
just going to sit here. You can go back to sleep." 
"No," Lex said firmly, "I'll sit with you." He pulled over a chair, dropping
into it and propping his legs up on the window seat. "If that's OK?" He
should've asked first. Maybe Colin didn't want anyone near him right now.
But Colin just shrugged and continued looking out the window, and Lex was again
struck by how much he'd grown up. Taller, deeper voice, not a little kid
anymore. 
"Do you still have that drawing I gave you for Christmas?"
Lex lifted his head and saw his brother looking back at him, trying to appear
casual and disinterested. What a shitty poker face, Lin had, surprisingly
enough. . . 
"Which one?" Lex asked, gently teasing. "You always used to give me drawings. I
could publish a book."
"The first one. The first one I gave anyone," he said. "The one of you and
Mom." 
He'd already known which one. Lin might have given him several drawings, but
he'd only ever given him one for Christmas, only made a production out of
giving him one. He'd had it framed, that portrait of him and their mother, both
smiling the same smile, arms wrapped around each other and so happy. He hadn't
ever hung it anywhere, couldn't honestly take seeing her as she'd been, as he'd
been, look at her holding a younger version of himself and remember how it used
to be, living with her and the Lin who'd drawn it and given it to Lex—and then
have to remember everything that had happened since to ruin it. Lex's own
Pandora's Box, that portrait, his own Dorian Grey.  All his anger and pain and
hurt and despair would just come rushing back, and maybe he was afraid he'd
never be able to climb back out of that dark abyss. It trapped everyone else
around him so easily. Maybe sublimation wasn't great, but at least he was
functional. So Lin's portrait stayed wrapped and in storage.  
"Yes," Lex answered, eventually. "It's back in Boston. I had it framed." He
looked up. "I always kept it." As he said that, Colin looked away, tucked
himself away, hid away again. "You were only, what? Four, when you did that?"
Lex shook his head in wonder. "Amazing. You were so talented, even then."
Middle of the night, and Lex was tired and scared and in over his head, and so
he asked, "When did it start, Colin? Why didn't you tell me?"
"You couldn't have done anything," Colin said, still not looking at Lex. "And
you were gone. And I- I just didn't- " Here he faltered. "Couldn't tell and
then I didn't even know- then it wasn't even an idea. There wasn't anything to
say."
Lex had to force himself to keep his head up and focused on Colin, not get up
and pace. He widened his eyes and kept his mouth from turning down or frowning.
Kept himself from crying. Colin looked up but stared at the wall across the
room, not Lex. "It was easy to just—do it and keep going. You don't- he was
going to—in the office that day, he was supposed to tell you about. . . " He
gestured with his hands, as though trying to wave up the words he was looking
for.
No. What?
"What was he supposed to tell us?" Lex asked, trying to help him, trying to
keep his voice down for Lian in the other room and Lin right now, sitting here,
saying Lionel had been planning on telling them, what, exactly?
Surely not.
"Surely not what he's been doing to you all this time," Lex said, and he
sounded angrier than he'd meant to. "Something secret, though, right? And why'd
you leave?" Lex remembered being so confused by Colin's reaction in Lionel's
study.
"He was supposed to tell you the truth—about me." After saying this, Colin
looked scared. He looked right at Lex, and he looked scared. Lex had a hard
time not reaching out to comfort him. Stopped himself at the last second, not
wanting to freak him out any more than the kid already was. "Lex," Colin
started again, "you don't know. I'm not normal. I'm not like you and Lian.
That's why he kept me home- "
"What do you mean you're 'not normal?' " Lex interrupted, heatedly. "Colin,
just because he- that does not mean you're not normal. He's the one's who's not
normal." At this point, Lex couldn't help it as he reached out and laid his
left hand on top of Colin's knee. He didn't even truly realize he'd done it
until Colin quickly jerked his leg away and scrunched up even further in the
window seat. Feeling guilty and stupid, and for some reason he didn't want
to think about, offended, Lex then sat up in his chair and put as much space
between him and Colin as he could manage while still staying seated. 
"Jesus," Lex said, sighing.
What was he supposed to say to make this better? Lex didn't know psychology
that well, at least not this. Not this. Here he was, holed up in a hotel across
town from his pedophilic father, with his two younger brothers depending on
him. He didn't have the resources Lionel had or the knowledge from experience
or the many contacts. Lex didn't even really have any friends, not any that
he'd ask about—this. How was he supposed to oppose his father, stand up to him
and win? He'd never won against Lionel, not ever. 
He sighed again and finally looked back up.
"I know that what I say now can never undo what happened," Lex said, "but I
swear he won't ever touch you again." And, God, did he hope he could keep that
pledge.
"Lex," Colin said, looking out the window, "some things- some things just
happen, and there's nothing you or anybody else can do to stop them." He turned
his head, and Lex found two hard green eyes zeroing in on him. "And some things
have to die. There are things in this world that can't be allowed, and someone
has to make sure those things don't destroy innocent people. Don't make
promises you won't be able to keep, Lex."
Jesus Christ.  
===============================================================================
He made the difficult but easy decision to withdraw from his classes for the
semester. Fortunately, the Dean of his college had always been on Lex's side. A
long phone call later, and somehow he'd managed to wrangle Lex a special hold
on classes. He would be allowed to come back next semester and essentially pick
up where he'd left off, assuming everything was somehow settled by next
semester. God.
It was a Monday. Lex hated Mondays as it was, but today was even more
depressing than usual. He'd researched a bit online yesterday, looking for a
great lawyer not on his father's payroll and one not likely to be easily bought
in the future, and he'd found a hopeful candidate in one Richard Jameson. The
man had a respectable firm downtown focused on family law, in particular—abuse
cases. Jameson himself was a well-known proponent of animal and environmental
rights and had been quoted in The Planet several times as basically calling
Lionel Luthor the Devil and laying almost all of humanity's problems at his
doorstep. In this case, the enemy of Lex's enemy was, if not exactly a friend
per se, at least a definite candidate for representation in the suit he planned
on filing against Lionel. He was pretty sure, though, that even if Jameson did
decline their case, they'd at least gain somewhat of an ally. After all, this
was the lawyer's chance to pat himself on the back and say 'I told you so' to
all those people who for years had been calling him a melodramatic loony. Maybe
Lex could get a few referrals out of the deal too.
Lex easily convinced Julian to stay home from school today. If he'd gone, Lex
knew Lionel would have had someone just pick the kid up, and that would be the
last they'd see of Julian for awhile. And Colin, well, Colin didn't go to
school, and he'd wisely been trying to distract Lian all morning so that Lex
could attempt to figure out what the hell they were going to do. He'd
essentially kidnapped his brothers, an eight-year-old and a fifteen-year-old,
and he was now holding them captive in a hotel room. That's what Lionel would
say. He'd paint Lex as some kind of addict or pay a shrink to testify Lex was
in the middle of a psychotic break or any number of awful things. Of course,
Lionel would never go to the authorities if he could avoid it, not with what
Lex and Lian would surely tell them, so maybe it wasn't quite as hopeless a
situation as Lex thought. 
He'd have to leave soon for his appointment with Jameson, leave Colin and Lian
alone in the room. Jesus, it was up in the air as to which one would take over
in Lex's absence. Most likely Julian would step up and lay down the law. He
seemed almost as disgusted as Lex by what their father had done, good ol' Lian
had always been the optimist when it came to their father, never seeming to
lose hope that one day Lionel would turn into Ward Cleaver, and they'd all live
happily together in the burbs. Well, he certainly didn't hope for that anymore.
Lex had overheard him telling Colin over this morning's breakfast that he
"didn't have to wear that man's necklace anymore." 'That man' was how he'd
referred to his own father, and Lex was at least partly glad Julian could
finally acknowledge how horrible a man Lionel was. Only partly, though. He was
sad to see Lian have to grow up so soon. He was even younger than Lex had been
when he'd realized how cold Lionel really was in those days following the
meteor shower. And Lex didn't even want to think about how Colin had come to
know their father's evil or how young the kid had been when it'd happened. Too
young, no doubt, too heartrendingly young and innocent for something like that
to happen to him. 
They were all kinds of fucked up, and Lex wasn't sure any of this, the lawsuit,
changing their surroundings, getting them away from Lionel, would actually make
it any better. But then Lex had always been a pragmatist, if not a downright
pessimist. It was as Colin had said. "Some things have to die. There are things
in this world that can't be allowed, and someone has to make sure those things
don't destroy innocent people." And while Lex didn't necessarily want his
father dead, he did want those things which he did to stop. Maybe he'd just be
exiled to a nice deserted island, somewhere his father could just stay for the
rest of his miserable life, where no internet or phone line or mail courier
would ever bother him again. That would do just fine for the sick old bastard.
Finishing his coffee, Lex turned away from the Metropolis skyline and picked up
the tie he'd draped over the back of the sofa earlier. As he began by rote to
tie a four-in-hand knot, he made his way back towards the bedroom. Stopping in
the doorway, he saw Colin reach out to Lian and get his attention, pointing to
Lex. Both heads focused on him, and he walked closer, sitting down on the chair
near their bed.
He looked at Lian and said, "You're going to be alone here, you know. So if
anything happens or you need me, just call my cell and I'll get back as soon as
I can. I'm going to meet Jameson now and hopefully put things into motion.
You're- " He broke off and dropped his eyes to his hands, trying to figure out
how to ask what he wanted to without upsetting either of them. Taking a breath
and looking up at Colin, Lex tried again. "You're sure about this?" he asked
him. Not that he would actually let him back down, but it might make Colin feel
a little more in control if Lex asked. . .
Colin looked down at the sketch pad in front of him and nodded. His eyes
turning back to Julian as he rose from the chair, Lex jerked his head towards
Colin and tried his best to communicate 'watch him' using only his eyebrows and
mouth. He must have succeeded in getting something across because Julian nodded
back and his face grew determined. Lex gave him a small smile in return then
left the room, grabbing his suit jacket and keys on the way out the door.
===============================================================================
Richard Jameson was an extremely tall middle-aged man, with graying hair and a
body that looked as though it belonged to a man half his age. And he hadn't
stopped pacing the entire time Lex had been there, and it was really starting
to get on Lex' nerves.
"So, let me get this straight," Jameson said, pausing over by the window. "Your
father- ," and here he stopped and chuckled. "God, I don't think I'll ever get
used to calling him that." Jameson turned and began pacing towards Lex now.
"Your father has been abusing your adopted brother, and you don't know for how
long." He stopped and stood looking down on Lex. Uncharitably, Lex thought it
was probably both literally and figuratively. "And your other brother? The
younger one. . . ?"
"Julian," Lex supplied.
"Julian," Jameson repeated, holding his right index finger up in a triumphant
jab. "Can he confirm this? Did he see anything—abusive?" He finished by tucking
his hands behind his back and rolling back and forth on the balls of his feet,
still hovering directly over Lex.
"He didn't see them having sex, if that's what you're asking, Mr. Jameson," Lex
replied coldly. If the man simply wanted to gloat, then Lex wasn't going to
just sit here and take it. Especially if it were at, not only his own, but
primarily, Colin's expense.
But Richard Jameson must have had a heart after all, for he quickly moved
behind his desk and sat down heavily in the creaking leather chair. Laying his
hands flat on the dark wood top, palms down, the lawyer leaned forward and
seemed to earnestly address Lex.
"I apologize, Mr. Luthor," Jameson said, and Lex thought it most likely
genuine. "I never meant to imply that I was, hmm, somehow reveling in your
situation. I want to know what you know, what your brother Julian knows, and
hopefully, when he's ready, I will need to know what Colin knows. About your
father." Jameson sat back in the chair, which squealed alarmingly. God, the
thing looked to be at least as old as Lex himself.
Looking at Lex contemplatively, Jameson said, "I know for a fact you are not a
stupid young man, no matter how determined the media seems to be to convince me
otherwise. No matter what trouble you've previously gotten into, I can tell you
genuinely care for your brothers. And, truthfully, and I am perfectly aware
that you know this, but I'm going to say it anyway, I despise your father. I
have had the misfortune of meeting him, and having to suffer through his
company, on several occasions over the years, and each time, I was struck by
the sheer apathy he displayed towards his fellow human being. It had—occurred
to me that that might extend into his home life as well, but I am truly sorry
to see I was right."
Hands now steepled in front of him, and rocking back and forth in that damned
squeaking chair of his, Jameson was looking at Lex in an assessing manner, as
though wondering whether or not to continue his speech. Evidently deciding yes,
the man said, "You came to me." He stopped, and Lex realized he was being asked
a question and simply nodded his head. "And you did so deliberately. You know
my history with Lionel, and I'd wager you sought me out thinking I'd never be
able to resist sticking it to the man, especially in the courtroom, especially
with something like this, something he'll never be able to weasel his way out
of once it's public." Taking his eyes off Lex and turning them towards the
fifth story window, Richard Jameson sat there for a moment before nodding to
himself. He leaned forward, and looked at Lex sadly.
"This will not be pretty, Lex," Jameson said softly. And Lex knew then that
he'd made the right choice. He'd gambled on this man and beaten the house.
Hopefully it was the first tiny victory, the first of many. 
"I'm taking your case, your brothers' case," Jameson continued, "and I'll do it
personally, with a little assistance of course." He smiled briefly. "But this
will be ugly and cutthroat, and you have to be aware that, considering who your
father is, and who he is in this town, there's a good chance we won't be able
to win." 
Jameson stood up and resumed his pacing once more, back and forth, back and
forth, back and forth, across the length of his office. "Our best bet—and I
know what you're going to say but just think on it a bit—our best bet is to go
to the media and get the public behind you." Lex was about to interrupt, but
Jameson again stopped in front of him and put his hand out. "If you do that,
there's a chance the court of public opinion could turn the tide, and I'll do
my damnedest to make sure you get a judge who's not bought off, though that
will definitely be tricky." Nodding to himself, the man moved towards the
window, then turned on his heel and stalked back towards the door. Back towards
the window, heel down and turning around to- 
"Could you please stop pacing?" Lex asked, exasperated. "I can't think when
other people do that," he added, in the hopes he wouldn't offend the man too
much. But evidently Jameson wasn't offended at all, for he simply moved over to
sit in the chair beside Lex's own. Puzzled and wondering if this was some ploy
to catch him off-guard, Lex shifted and turned to look the other man in the
eye.
"He doesn't go to any school?" Jameson asked. At Lex's confused look, he added
impatiently, "Colin, your brother? I remember something in the paper a few
years back, but that isn't exactly a reliable source. So—does Colin attend
school?"
"No," Lex answered, and then thought better of being so terse. "Well, he
briefly attended Excelsior here in the city, just this term, in fact, but he
was taken out last week. By my father. Some of his fellow students performed
some sort of hazing on him, and. . . " Lex trailed off, not knowing exactly how
to finish that sentence.
"I see. And before this year? Was he home-schooled? Somehow I can't picture
Lionel Luthor teaching him arithmetic."
 "No, Colin's always had tutors who come to the house a few times a week. And
then there are his stays at the Centre." Now it was Jameson's turn to look
puzzled, and so Lex attempted to clarify. "My father's development. It's a
research facility and also houses some of his more priceless collections:
ancient artifacts, extremely rare books, artwork. It's essentially a sub-
division of Luthorcorp." Well, Lex thought that was a pretty clear explanation,
but the other man still had a confused expression on his face. OK, more
information. Can do. "Colin goes there every week, I believe, and has for as
long as he's been with us. I've been there a few times myself, as has Julian,
but as both of us were educated outside the house, Colin's understandably been
there more often."
The lawyer next to him furrowed his brow and again steepled his fingers. "Huh."
Yeah, OK. That was illuminating.
"What?" Lex asked. "What am I missing?"
"How old was Colin when he was adopted into your family?" Jameson asked, brow
still furrowed.
"About four, I think. I was never really sure of the circumstances surrounding
his birth or the adoption itself, for that matter, but as I recall, neither
were my parents. We just chose a day to celebrate his birthday." Lex was
beginning to think Jameson was reaching some conclusion he wasn't seeing and
decided to just ask outright. "Mr. Jameson, pardon me, but what does this have
to do with the case? I'm afraid I don't see the connection."
"That's because you're not thinking like your father," Jameson replied,
lowering his hands and leaning forward to rest his forearms on his legs. He
looked Lex right in the eye and asked somewhat ominously, "Haven't you ever
wondered why both you and Julian, the natural sons of Lionel and Lillian
Luthor, were enrolled in various well to-do academies and schools and rarely
allowed into 'the Centre,' " Jameson using finger quotes for the last part,
"while your adopted brother, whose past is completely unknown, was never
allowed to attend a traditional school and spent a great deal of time at a
research facility created by your father?"
Lex felt cold seep into his bones.
"Lex," Jameson asked, "what possible reason does a man have to essentially hold
an abandoned child hostage in a research facility for more than 12 years if
he's not doing something terrible?"
===============================================================================
Interlude
Bruce had never been one for small talk and was infinitely glad Lex felt the
same. Usually, Bruce didn't enjoy company. Excluding Alfred, he hadn't really
interacted with anyone since- since before. Sometimes Rachel would try, but
he'd guess that after so many rebuffs, she'd simply decided to finally give up
on him. She and her mother still sent birthday and Christmas cards, but that
was about the extent of it. 
Sometimes it hurt too much to keep it all fully hidden, so he'd slip and say
what he really wanted to say, do what he really wanted to do, and every time
Alfred would try and make it better. And it almost helped. It made Bruce feel
not so alone for a bit, and as long as Alfred were there, things could be OK.
And so school had been difficult. Alfred wasn't there. And the others looked at
him weird. Those boys whispered about him, and Bruce didn't really care all
that much, but he thought he should. So he tried to be friendly, like he
remembered being before, and he tried to make them want to be around him, but
it didn't work. That just seemed to make them even cagier. He wasn't good at
this.
By the time he was 13, Bruce had reconciled himself to the fact he was strange
and defective and had attempted to get Alfred to understand that he would just
be 'that spooky Wayne kid' and there wasn't really any point in trying for
anything different. Then the spring semester, and he was forced to room with
another boy for the first time. There were a lot of boys in his year at the
academy, and evidently they'd run out of other housing alternatives.
That was when Bruce had met Alexander J. Luthor.
Lex looked how Bruce sometimes felt, vulnerable and ashamed and alone, and so
he attempted to be friendly again. At first it didn't work, but after a few
weeks Lex seemed to come around. Bruce suspected the other boy latched on to
him partly for protection, as Lex had been so small back then, but mostly
because Lex too seemed out of step with all the others, with everyone but
Bruce. And sometimes it was Bruce who took charge, but mostly he followed Lex's
lead and gladly. Lex was grateful and appreciative of Bruce's attention, which
made him a little suspicious of the other boy's family and home-life. Bruce
knew he was no catch, but Lex never asked him those difficult questions, those
questions the other boys always whispered among themselves when he walked by,
so Bruce didn't ask his, either.
Later, he would often wish he had.
When they were 16, they spent winter break at Lex's house just outside
Metropolis. The experience was enlightening. Bruce knew himself, knew he was
different, but he was a different kind of different from Lex and Lex's family.
There was something wrong with the Luthors, something bad. Bruce tried to
figure them out but couldn't quite get to the end of the puzzle. Pieces were
missing. 
Lex's brother Colin was a missing piece. He was a strange kid, and Bruce wasn't
sure Lex could see just exactly how odd the little boy was. It wasn't a good
kind of odd, either. He didn't eat well, not like Lex's other brother, Julian.
Colin drew and didn't speak, but he wasn't delayed or stupid. Bruce could see
the boy thinking. He chose not to speak. And he didn't sleep well, either,
slept less than Bruce, and Bruce could usually only manage a couple hours of
sleep on a good night and sometimes none at all on bad nights. And he hid. Lex
would joke that they had to go find the kid for dinner or a game, but Bruce
didn't think it was funny or cute, not when Colin seemed to think it something
other than a game. And he wasn't so young that he didn't understand, either. At
ten, he knew what he was doing.  
Sometimes when Bruce looked at Colin, he got the feeling he wasn't even there,
like whatever made him breathe had just vanished or evaporated. Sometimes Colin
was so still and sunk-in that Bruce thought he might not even be human. No one
was that still. 
And then there was Lionel. Lex's father was not a good man. Bruce's dad, he- he
wouldn't have liked him. Lionel was intimidating, and that was putting it
mildly. The man had cold eyes, and perhaps that was because of Lex's mother,
who'd died, but Lionel's eyes weren't cold in a blank way. They were cold like
cruelty and hatred. And what was worst was when he'd look at Lex like that, and
Lex would see him doing it. Or when he'd look at Colin, and Lex didn't see it.
It was a puzzle Bruce didn't want to solve, truthfully, and that's what
unsettled him most. 
Lex could never seem to figure out what was going on, either, and though Bruce
tried to stay out of it he quite often ended up pushing Lex in the right
direction. Lex had a family, and Bruce didn't want him to lose it, no matter
how willfully blind or careless he pretended to be. Bruce couldn't understand
that. If he still had a family. . .
Then things shifted, and Lex acted indifferent to Colin, even antagonistic.
He'd roll his eyes at Julian on the phone, cut him off, claim he didn't care.
He'd scoff, say something like, "Oh, I'll just bet he's feeling bad." All his
devotion funneled over to Julian, and Bruce never asked what had happened,
never asked why Lex went out more, drank to be drunk more often, took whatever
some stranger gave him. He didn't ask. Colin was adopted, Bruce knew. That
would have been obvious just by looking at them, and maybe that was part of it.
Maybe he'd found out or there had been a fight and Lex said something he
regretted. Maybe Lex didn't think Colin really belonged. If anything, though,
Lex seemed hurt and angry. 
But Bruce never asked and so Lex never said. And sometimes it bothered Bruce
how separate he felt, but it was only sometimes, and usually what bothered him
was just how much it didn't bother him.  
===============================================================================
Lex stopped at a coffee joint on his way back to the hotel. Thinking of
something with a hell of a lot of caffeine in it for himself, he attempted to
figure out what Julian and Colin might like. Hot chocolate never failed, right?
Something with caramel? Lex's mind was still back in Richard Jameson's office.
He remembered how certain Colin had been, saying he wasn't normal, and Lex had
just assumed he'd meant because of the- the abuse, but what if there were
something else at play? Why the Centre? Was there something physically
different about Colin, something to do with doctors and scientists, some kind
of- of hereditary disease or syndrome perhaps? Chromosomal anomaly or
treatments he had to get, like dialysis or something? And what was it Lionel
was going to tell them that day in the library? Colin acted as if it were the
answer to everything, but Lex just now wanted to know what his father had been
doing at that facility all these years, and to Colin. As if it weren't bad
enough he'd been sexually abusing him, likely physically and emotionally, too,
had Lionel also been somehow experimenting on the kid? Was Colin some sort of
guinea pig or lab rat? 
Jerking into awareness, Lex realized he'd reached the front of the line. His
stomach wasn't the best right then, so he opted for three hot chocolates,
attempting to play it oblivious as a few people stared a little too much or a
little too long or gave him double-takes. Not what they needed. He was buying
hot chocolate, for Christ's sake. What was so exciting about that? Though in
truth, he'd almost come to expect it. It was irritating but not exactly new.
What was surprising was it happening now when he'd been gone from Metropolis
for a few years, at least as far as the media was concerned. But people were
always curious about the 'bald freak,' as The Inquisitor had once memorably
referred to him.
Lex waited for the drinks at the other end of the counter with his head up and
his hands in pockets.
"Here you are, sir," the barista said, putting the three drinks in a carry-
caddie for him. She looked up and was studying him closely, so Lex stuck a ten
in the tip jar next to her and turned to leave. As he neared the door, the last
man in the long line pushed open the door for him and smiled.
"Thanks," Lex told him, as he waited for an incoming customer to pass by before
starting through.
"Hey, no problem Mr. Luthor," the man replied, still smiling.
Sir? Mr. Luthor? Lex had never thought of himself as a mister-anything. 
Lex walked to his car, carefully balancing the drinks as he hit the unlock
button. After he'd settled both himself and the hot chocolates inside, he
reversed and swerved out of the parking spot, turning left onto Vine St. and
reaching the intersection just as the light turned green. Being the only car in
the right turn lane, Lex didn't bother slowing down as he roared through. He
didn't bother to check for other vehicles as he hit the gas, trusting the
lights had done their job and stopped all other cross-traffic.
One moment, Lex was sitting in the driver's seat of his Acura. . .
. . . and then he was staring at the warped and bent steering wheel, his head
pounding, as someone repeatedly calls his name through the passenger side
window. The window was broken. What- why was he? Stopped. The car was still.
And his head! Jesus Christ, what was wrong with his-
"Mr. Luthor, just stay still, OK?" the voice from his right was saying.
"Someone's called 911, and an ambulance is on its way. We didn't want to move
you, in case your neck or back were- " The voice kept going, but Lex couldn't
keep track of it any longer. His head must have hit—the window. His window. And
his car wasn't- his car had been hit. He'd been in an accident. A car accident.
And he couldn't think clearly because he'd—hit his head. What was that called?
A. . .
"Mr. Luthor!" the voice screeched at him. The door was open, the passenger's
door, and it was the guy from the coffee shop. The one who'd smiled at him and
called him 'Mister.'
"You have to stay awake, Mr. Luthor," the man said, trying to maintain eye
contact. "You were hit by another car and you've probably got a concussion. You
have to stay awake."
"You already said that," Lex tried to say, but his voice came out strangely.
"Where's the- is the other car OK? The people in the other car? Are they hurt?"
Lex was still trying to focus on the man near him, so he caught the angry
expression that crossed his face briefly before being replaced by a gentler
version of pissed off.
"There is no other car," the man said tersely. "It drove off after it hit you.
Some kind of SUV-Hummer thing. Just- it just took off after putting you into
the median. Sir." He stopped suddenly, as though he'd overstepped his bounds or
said too much.
A hit-and-run? But. . .
"But everyone is OK?" Lex asked.
The guy gave him a strange look as he replied. "Yeah, no one else was hurt. We
heard the crash from inside the cafe, and the woman next to me called 911. The
paramedics should be here soon, and we'll tell the police what happened. Don't
you worry."
"Thanks," Lex said, as sincerely as he could, with his head kind of messed up.
"No- no problem, Mr. Luthor." 
Lex felt a smile tug at his mouth, as he repeated, "You already said that."
Evidently, his new 'friend' remembered their brief exchange in the coffee shop
too, for a small smile graced his face.
A thought came to Lex and he took the chance and asked, "Did anyone get the
plate number from the other vehicle? I don't- I didn't even see it. It just
came out of nowhere. . . " Lex slowly trailed off, thinking he must sound like
every crash victim the world over.
"I don't know," the man answered, crouching down on the ground, just outside
the car. "You're not at all how the papers make you out to be. Wait, uh, what I
mean is. . . " the guy started stuttering, so Lex interrupted.
"Lex," he said. "Please call me Lex. Whenever someone says 'Mr. Luthor,' I
think my father's suddenly ascended from Hell and is standing behind me."
The guy gave a loud startled laugh, a sharp 'HA!' then shut his mouth and
looked a bit guilty. Lex just dredged up another smile.
Fucking Lionel. Which, now that he thought about, made him. . . 
"My name is Chance," the guy said, and Lex lost his train of thought. "Chance
Aerson." He smiled again. "Pleased to meet you, Lex, though I don't think I'm
the only one to wish it'd happened under different circumstances."
"No," Lex replied. "Definitely not alone there."
===============================================================================
Lex understood his place in the social hierarchy of Excelsior. He was the geek,
the weird bald kid, and he was pretty much left alone after the first few
weeks. Eventually he learned that Bruce had started throwing his weight around
at that point, all but threatening those who'd still had designs on hurting or
humiliating him.
He tried to thank his new roommate, but Bruce consistently denied he'd had
anything to do with it. He'd simply shrug and say, "I don't talk to them, Lex.
They don't like me, either; why would they listen to anything I said?" Which
was a clever evasion, and Lex knew the truth. Bruce was a good actor and
modest. He'd saved Lex, and he hadn't gloated or asked for favors or anything
in return. Bruce never asked for anything.
As the years passed, Lex grew accustomed to the silence of their friendship. In
a way it was soothing, comfortable, and nothing like the silences at home.
There were no hidden agendas with Bruce, no games or tests. All Bruce really
wanted was someone who didn't judge, someone who wouldn't push him or expect
too much, and Lex could give him that. In return, Bruce didn't judge him, or
make him feel responsible for his father's actions. He also seemed not to care
about Lex's lack of hair and hopefully didn't know that, even if it were faked,
that was probably what meant the most. For in truth, Lex had had a crush on
Bruce pretty much since the day they'd met.
Bruce was handsome. Everyone knew that, but it wasn't what really drew Lex. No,
it was the fact that Bruce was so there, had such a physical resonance, that
made Lex admire him and want to be closer. The air in the room vibrated when
Bruce was present. Just by sitting at his desk and reading, he made Lex forget
about everything.   
By the time they'd reached their second to last year at Excelsior, Lex had
accepted the fact that nothing would happen between them. Bruce had never dated
anyone, girl or boy, that Lex knew of. So he didn't know for certain, but he
assumed his friend was straight and therefore uninterested. Which was fine. And
typical. Actually, Bruce seemed kind of asexual. The two of them never talked
about that kind of thing, as it definitely made Lex uncomfortable, considering,
and Bruce had always in turn ignored or mocked the boys in the locker room who
carried on and on about their supposedly numerous conquests of the fairer sex.
Nobody talked about other boys, except as something sick or weird.  
Which is why it was something of a shock when, the day before his 16th
birthday, Bruce asked if he could kiss Lex on the lips.
They were in the library, sitting by the east windows in the Theology section,
which was always empty. Lex was at the table with his books spread out, and
Bruce was staring out the window as usual. In fact, when Bruce asked, he was
still facing the window. It took Lex a moment to understand he was being asked,
and by then he'd become fully tongue-tied, staring at the back of Bruce's head
in some vain hope that if he just looked hard enough he'd be able to see what
was going on in that brain. 
"Lex?" Bruce asked, as he finally turned around to face him. "Aren't you going
to say something? I believe a 'yes' or 'no' is appropriate."
Damn him. This might be the only opportunity he had, and Lex was ruining it by
imitating a largemouth bass.
"Um, what?!" And, God, his voice had not just broken like he was 14! "Why would
you want to do that? Is this some kind of joke? Because it's not at all funny."
There. That was better, even if he did succeed in sounding like an asshole.  
"No, it's no joke," Bruce replied, confusedly. "I just wanted to know. If not,
that's OK, too."
The boy was certifiably insane and heartbreakingly perfect. Lex wanted to
scream. Well, kiss him and then scream, as screaming first might scare him
away.
"Here? You're asking me if you can kiss me here in the library?"
"On the lips," Bruce reminded him, like that cleared up everything.
" Yeah, on the lips. Got that part." Lex put his pencil down and sighed,
reminding himself that Bruce didn't really joke or lie, at least not to Lex. So
if he were asking, then logically it followed that he was serious and actually
wanted to. . .
"Yes," Lex said and made sure he was looking Bruce straight in the eye. "I'd-
I'd like that, Bruce." All in.  
And before he knew it, Bruce was leaning down, hand on his cheek, and his lips
were oh-so-gently pressing against Lex's. It was sweet and chaste, and nothing
like what Lex wanted. So he took control and pressed forward, opening his mouth
and biting at Bruce's bottom lip.
Bruce's breath came out in a gasp, and Lex felt the other boy's hand slip back
to cup his head. Feeling brave and mature, he slipped his tongue into Bruce's
mouth, but the angle was wrong and, as he'd had to stretch up to meet Bruce who
was still standing above him, Lex felt his back start to ache. He broke off the
kiss, and it felt as if he floated back down to his seat.
Opening his eyes, Lex saw Bruce wearing an expression he'd never seen before,
at least not on Bruce's face. Bruce looked almost—happy. He had a huge goofy
grin on his face, and his eyes sparkled. And that was it: Lex was lost. He
wasn't sure when it had happened, but Lex had fallen in love with Bruce, and
there was no turning back now.
"That was good," Bruce said, his eyes still dancing and that wide smile
plastered on his gorgeous face.
"Yeah," Lex replied. He tugged on Bruce's shirt, pulling him down closer. "But
that could have been an anomaly. I say for accuracy, we should run the
experiment again."
"Oh, for 'accuracy,' eh?" Bruce asked, chuckling. Attempting a serious
expression, Bruce slowly leaned in until his breath was puffing across Lex's
face with each word. "I think you're absolutely right." And as Bruce pressed
his open mouth against his once more, all Lex could think was how this was just
about the best present he'd ever received.
===============================================================================
He came to when he was being moved into the ambulance. At first, because of the
strobe light effect of the red and blue, Lex thought he'd somehow gotten into
it again at one of the clubs. God, another overdose? Lionel was going to be so
pissed-
Oh, God, Lionel! And Julian. And, Jesus, Colin. It was Lionel. He'd been hit- 
"Sir, you were in a car accident," said a feminine voice from his right, but
when he tried to look at her he couldn't make anything out. The lights kept
messing him up. 
"Sir, are you coming along?" the paramedic asked. Lex was beginning to wonder
if he were really in trouble in the head department because that comment had
made absolutely no sense, when he heard a familiar voice respond. 
"Yeah. Yeah, sure, I'll ride along," Chance said, breath wheezing out. The guy
must have had to run after the stretcher or something. Either that, or he was
just in piss-poor physical condition. Lex felt the legs of the stretcher fold
under as he was pushed into the back of the ambulance, closing his eyes against
the harsh white of the overhead lights inside. He also felt one of the doors
towards the front open and the shifting of weight inside, and then a closing
thump.
"Ready, Allie?" asked a gruff male voice from up front.
"Yeah, we're all in back here. Let's hit it," his attendee responded, slamming
the doors surprisingly close to Lex's ear. "Mr. Luthor. Mr. Luthor, I need you
to open your eyes for me. You have a deep head laceration, and I need to check
your pupils and responses. OK?" Lex opened his eyes slowly, wanting to avoid
the startling retina-fry for as long as possible. "There. Keep 'em open, just
like that. OK, good."
Seeing a blurry shape behind 'Allie,' Lex tried to focus on it and force it
into resolution. Gradually, Chance Aerson's worried face came into clear view,
and Lex felt a tiny smile tug at his lips.
"Hey," he said, briefly startled at the raspy-ness of his own voice, "decided
to stick around for the show, huh?"
The other man just scrunched up his face, looking like he was searching for
something to say. Meanwhile, Lex's new paramedic friend must have finished her
testing, for she removed the pen-light from his eyes and smiled at Lex.
"Looks worse than it is, is all," she said, as though that were somehow
comforting. How bad did it look?
"Oh, don't worry, Mr. Luthor," she said, chuckling softly, "I'm sure that gash
will heal just fine. You do have a concussion, but a couple days and you'll be
all good."
All good. All- Shit! Colin and Julian! They were in the hotel room all alone.
What if Lionel hadn't just been getting back at him? What if the old shark had
arranged the crash in order to get Lex out of the way while he and his goons
went after the boys?
Was that possible or just paranoid? This was Lionel, though. Lex wouldn't put
anything past that man.  
Terrified that he might be right, Lex looked over to Chance again. "Chance, can
I use your phone? It's an emergency."
And the guy just looked at Lex like he was an idiot—or crazy as a loon. 
"Look," Lex began, "I know what's going on, but my phone's back in the car,
probably smashed on the floor, and you- look, I left my brothers alone and I
have to tell them—what happened." He tried to imitate Lian's puppy dog eyes. "I
have to make sure they're OK. They'll be worried if I'm not back soon." Chance
was still just sitting there, looking at him strangely, so Lex tried again.
"Chance, I have to call my brothers. Please, can I use your phone?"
Well, maybe the puppy dog eyes just took a little longer than usual to go into
effect when Lex did them, because after he finished that sentence Chance began
scrounging around in his jacket pockets. After a minute of watching the man
near grope himself, a blue cell-phone was finally uncovered and placed into
Lex's left hand.
Lex then realized the number for the hotel wasn't saved on this phone, and he
had to try to pin down its name. Concussions definitely did not help with the
memory.
"What's the number?" Chance asked.
Lex resisted the urge to snap at him. After all, it wasn't this guy's fault
that- none of this was Chance's fault. The other man had only helped him, and
so Lex took a few breaths in an attempt to calm himself down before answering.
"I can't-- I don't remember."
"You can't remember your home phone number?" the paramedic asked. "That could
be a sign of- "
"No, they're not at Lione- um, the house," Lex interrupted. "They're- they're
at the. . . " And now he debated whether or not he should tell them the name of
the hotel. If he didn't, there was no way he'd get a hold of his brothers. .
.  
"They're staying at the Kline Hotel," Lex said quickly, "but I don't remember
the number there."
"Here," Chance said, reaching for the phone. Completely freaking out now, Lex
handed it over. "I'll get 'Information,' and we'll find out, no problem." 
"Yes," Chance suddenly said into the receiver. "I need the number for the front
desk of the Kline Hotel, please. Thank you very much." There was a longer pause
and then, "Yeah, that would be great, thanks." Then he quickly shoved the phone
back at Lex.
He grabbed it and put it to his ear, to the sound of the line ringing. A click
and then a smooth male voice asked, "The Kline. How may I help you?"
"I need to call room 634. Please."
"Certainly, sir. One moment for me to connect you." There was another click and
then the phone was ringing again. And again. And again. And-
"Hello?"
"Julian," Lex said, relief obvious. "Oh, thank God, I got you. I- I was in an
accident." He heard the gasp over the line. "But don't worry, I'm fine. I need
you- I think you two should. . . " How was he supposed to say this, with two
strangers listening to every word? Fuck it. It would all become public
knowledge soon, anyway. "Lian, you need to leave. The wreck, it- I just need
you to get Colin and get out of there, OK?" He tried to give Julian a clue,
without totally giving it away, but he had the feeling he'd only come across as
paranoid and crazy, to both parties listening. And as he listened to the light
breathing coming in through the speaker, Lex prayed that by the time they got
out of there, Lionel and company wouldn't somehow already be waiting for them
in the lobby, on the elevator. . .   
"Now, Lian," Lex said, sharply.  "And take the stairs." 
"Lex, what- why do we have to go? Where are we gonna go?" Which was a good
question.  
"Jameson," Lex said, suddenly. "Look it up on the laptop. No, wait. Have Colin
look it up, and you pack, and then get out of there. Take a cab. Don't walk."
Lex tried to remember if there was anything else he had to tell them, but he'd
already wasted enough time as it was. "OK, do it." And with that, Lex snapped
the phone shut, ending the call. 
Taking a breath, Lex briefly closed his eyes and held his arm out in Chance's
general direction, phone resting in the palm of his upturned hand. Opening his
eyes again, he looked at Chance and said calmly, as if he hadn't just acted
like a crazed conspiracy nut, "Thank you."
And the other man just nodded, picking up the cell and shoving it back into one
of the multitude of pockets decorating his beat up jacket.
"Here we are," called the voice from up front, as the ambulance rushed to a
stop. "Let's unload the merchandise, Al!"
And with that, Lex was jerked out on a gurney, and wheeled into Queensway
Hospital's emergency room.
===============================================================================
Chance stayed with him. When he asked why, all the other man had said was,
"Lex, being in a hospital sucks. Being alone in a hospital seriously sucks."
Which Lex had to admit was true. He'd never been in a hospital when it hadn't
meant something bad had happened.
A doctor Feth had checked him over and declared Lex fit enough not to require
overnight observation, followed by a nurse who applied butterfly bandages to
the cut on the side of his head. As he finished up the paperwork a bit later,
he felt Chance's eyes on him. Finally finishing the last form, signing the
entirety of the visit over to Lionel's insurance almost gleefully, Lex returned
the stare, declaring, "We're outta here," and jerking his thumb in the
direction of the exit.
Trying his best to remain upright and forwardly mobile, Lex wondered what his
next step was. Did he just show up at Jameson's doorstep, too?
As the two of them stood just outside the sliding doors of the ER, Chance
turned to face him.
"Look, I know it's none of my business," he started, "and that you probably
don't really want my help anymore, but is there something I can do? What I mean
is, since you don't have a car and you were really—worried about something back
there, I want to know if you need anything." Eyes on his feet, Chance added, "I
don't have a car or anything, but I could call you a cab, or—I don't know, let
you use my phone again to maybe call your brothers? Make sure they got out
OK?" 
Lex had to hand it to the guy. He still looked completely freaked and utterly
bewildered, but he very nearly managed to pull off the air of slacker
nonchalance he seemed to be aiming for.
Lex just smirked. "A cab would be greatly appreciated," he responded. "I still
have my wallet, so I could drop you off somewhere."
"Well, the thing is, honestly, I was wonderi- it's just you sounded like you
needed some help or something, and I- " He looked up at Lex. "I'm not trying to
get anything here, man, but I would just feel bad if I left you in a bad spot.
I could help." Chance dropped his head again. "If you needed it, that is."
Was this guy for real? Who the hell actually offered to help anyone these days,
let alone help a Luthor with no expectations for reward? This was just some
game. And if Lex accepted, then Chance here would pull a fast one, and he'd be
left worse off than he'd been while in that wreck. It could even be a trick of
Lionel's. Maybe Chance Aerson was a rat. . .
But the problem was he didn't act like a rat. He wasn't giving off the 'bad'
vibes Lex was used to getting with liars. Lex could detect a fraud almost as
well as Bruce, and Chance? Wasn't.
But did he dare trust him with his life? With the lives of the only family he
had left?
***** Chapter 2 *****
Interlude 
Colin dreamed. He was normal that way, at least. 
Now grayed out and he waded deeper, swimming in voices again. Lionel, shouting
and twisting everything, and it was same as it always was. It had always been
this way, and it always would be this, with white rooms and blood and beds they
tied him down to like he wasn't anything, wasn't anyone, wasn't that boy tied
down, wasn't free or real, either. No matter what happened, he wasn't real. He
was separate and untouchable inside. He was himself a tower, a tower of stone
and pikes and thorns and fire. No one and nothing could reach beyond his walls.
No one could touch him inside. He wasn't even here. This body wasn't him. They
could do what they wanted with it. It made no difference to him. He wasn't even
here.
It was important to remember that, to keep up the chant. When they needed more
samples or wanted to try the green again or some stupid kid called him
something ugly or a lackey looked at him with fear or disgust, when Lionel made
fun of him,  made fun of him in front of others, made it hurt more than he had
to, made him lie, that's when Colin went away and reminded himself that he
wasn't just here, wasn't just that. He was a tower of pain and misery, and any
who stepped closer would feel it. Anyone who touched him, suffered, and he kept
everyone safe and separate, and he walled himself up. He could be here or
there, and it wouldn't make any difference. Colin wasn't real, so it didn't
matter.
But he dreamed, and that was inside. Dreams were his. Those other worlds and
lives he saw when he closed his eyes, they lived in his brain, and as long as
Lionel and his fucking doctors kept busy with Colin's body, they couldn't get
inside, couldn't ever see what he thought and felt and knew to be true. He
could think about them and draw them and paint them all he wanted, and he could
destroy them too. 
Dreams of women with red hair, Lillian, most of all, but there were others. He
saw a beautiful older woman, older than Lillian ever got to be, and he called
her Mom too, kissed and hugged her. Younger women, darker hair, lighter,
different face, same face, red, blonde, brown, black, and he looked at her red
hair and said, "Lana."
He looked at her black hair and said, "Lana."
Dreaming of other girls, and boys, men, and they grew up sometimes, smiled and
laughed and hugged him or cried and pushed him away. Sometimes they ignored
him, or he fell over as they passed by. They loved him; they hated him. They
tied him up, too. They cut him down. They left or said horrible things or just
never understood all the things he tried to say. 
The women with brown hair and biting tongues. They said witty things and looked
at him differently, amazed, amused, angry, pitying, hurt, bewildered, and
sometimes all he would see was 'I love you' written all over them. They
clutched at him, stabbed him with pens, turned away. They came and went and he
never knew which was which. Was she the right one? Or her?
Blond men with smiles, blond with sneers, white, black, tall or short, they
punched him, laughed, hugged him. Brown hair and blue eyes, human, and he
deserved her and appreciated her more than—more than someone did, more than
someone Colin wasn't, someone important. Colin wasn't Colin, but he wasn't this
other person either.
And then Lex. Colin painted Lex and burned the paintings. He slid under the bed
in Lex's old room and hid. He dreamed, and he dreamed of Lex.  
It struck him as ludicrous that no one but Daniel had ever figured out his
arrangement with Lionel. No other house staff and not even Mr. Genius Lex. So
clever, Lex, and he never even really tried. Lex got burned, once, and that was
enough to get him off the trail for good. Julian wasn't nearly as easily
misled. A few years more, and he'd either have figured it out or manage to
stumble upon them doing something incriminating someday.
Sometimes Lillian felt like a hallucination. Sometimes Lex did. Colin's reality
wasn't just this one, now, but it was always so different from those few years
of birthday parties and Christmas gifts and hugs and bedtime stories.
Everything had changed; the only constant was Lionel.
He regrets quite a lot of what he's done, to his brothers, to those others he
sees when he closes his eyes and swims, but he regrets closing his own coffin
lid most often. The final nail was Daniel, his last chance to get out. 
When he was 12 years old, Daniel quit, resigned. That in and of itself wasn't
all that unique. There was a very high turnover rate at the Luthor mansion,
after all.
No, what made this noteworthy was the fact Daniel was scared into quitting,
told he'd be ruined or worse if he didn't leave, if he ever said a word to
anyone about what he'd seen by accident one day when cleaning. Daniel was
threatened, and Colin had threatened him. 
Daniel had been walking down the hall, and out came Colin from Lionel's
bedroom. Lionel had left early that morning and hadn't woken him up on his way
out. Thus, 8 a.m., and Colin didn't check the hallway. He walked out in pajama
bottoms, leaving messed-up linens and that distinctive odor of sex behind him
in Lionel's bedroom, and there was Daniel, staring. Colin had simply pushed
past him and walked down the hall to his own room. 
Later that day, a knock on the door, and he'd known what to do. No crying, no
begging; Colin acted the part, did his duty. He lied and condescended and
played it off, and when that didn't work—he pushed Daniel up against the wall
of his bedroom and told him that if he didn't leave, Colin would tell Lionel.
He'd tell and Daniel would pay.
Daniel said, "I'll call Lex, OK? And he'll- "
And Colin said, "If you say a word to him about any of this, I will kill you
myself. I'll slit your fucking throat, Daniel, and they'll never find your
body."
Daniel left, and Colin tried to think of it still as him doing his duty,
protecting his family, protecting himself, but that was a lie. That was as much
a lie as when he tried to tell himself he hadn't really meant it, tried to deny
he'd enjoyed scaring Daniel, when he tried to look away from himself and from
the fact that he'd gotten hard scaring Daniel and threatening him, at being in
control finally. 
He wasn't protecting Julian or Lex. He wasn't protecting himself, certainly. He
was protecting Lionel, and that hurt the worst. That was real. That was who he
really was. 
But he wasn't even here. He was stone, and he couldn't be moved anymore. He'd
walled himself in, and maybe now he'd starve and die. Maybe he'd slip away
downstream, stare and stare and just never come back. Death wasn't always
something quick. Sometimes it was slow, and maybe it didn't always have to
hurt. 
===============================================================================
By the time Lex and Chance managed to get to Jameson's townhouse, it was
already pushing eight. The street lights were on, showing the lawyer's
neighborhood for the clean, green upscale part of the city it was. Number 46.  
Lex knocked, and it was only a few seconds before the door in front of them
opened, spilling warm light and spicy smells out into the air. Something had
been cooked inside that house recently, and Lex realized he was hungry only
when he felt his stomach rumble. He focused on the woman in front of him, and
was surprised when she spoke first.
"You're Alexander, yes?" she said in a heavy accent. Lex could tell it was
something Eastern European but wasn't familiar enough with the region to know
which country. "You have impeccable timing. Rick is dishing out the meal, and I
know two boys who will be relieved to see you."
Shifting her eyes over to Chance, she stepped back from the door and opened it
wide, inviting them in. Lex went in first and, once Chance had crossed the
threshold, held his hand out in order to make introductions. 
"Yes, I'm Alexander," he said, and the woman took Lex's hand to shake with
raised eyebrows and a small smile. "Please, call me Lex," he added. Gesturing
then at Chance, he said, "This is a friend, Chance Aerson." 
"Ah!" she said, nodding as though that really explained anything. "I'm Raisa,
Rick's partner." Reaching out to shake Chance's hand too, Raisa then waved them
farther inside. "We held dinner a bit, so you're welcome to come eat. Plenty
for everyone. Rick made cassoulet. It's very good," she said with a wink.
The dining room was through a parlor and across a hallway with a few doors. 
It was a lot of walking, talking, and thinking he'd been doing in the last
hour, and his head was all but pounding. All the shit from the last few days
was piling up, and Lex knew he had maybe another couple hours in him before he
crashed.
There was Rick, and then there was Julian, sitting at the table, his face
smoothing out once he spotted Lex. Colin had his head turned, but Lex was just
relieved to see them both safe, here, in Rick Jameson's dining room, about to
eat some homecooking. Lex glanced at Rick, who just nodded and kept dishing out
what smelled delicious but looked disgusting. 
Raisa had lagged behind a bit and was whispering in Rick's ear, gesturing a
little towards Chance.
"Lex, glad you made it," Rick said the next moment. He pointed at the empty
chair next to Colin and said, "Have a seat. And your friend, Chance?"
Lex met his eyes and nodded. 
"Chance can sit over here by me," Rick said, which Lex maybe wouldn't normally
find funny but sure did tonight.  
Taking the back of the chair and pulling it out, Lex all but dropped into it.
Colin turned then to look at him, blank face on, and Lex smiled at him.
Probably more of a grimace, but he tried. 
And Colin ducked his head down to stare at his bowl of Rick's cassoulet, but
Lex caught upticked lips and counted it a win.  
===============================================================================
After dinner was done and everything cleaned up, Raisa made some kind excuse
about having work to do upstairs and left them alone in the parlor. Chance was
currently being visually dissected by Rick, while Lian stared questioningly at
Lex and Colin managed to curl himself into a surprisingly compact ball in one
of Rick's armchairs.
Biting the bullet, Lex said, "Chance helped me at the accident—and after."
"Helped you, huh?" Rick huffed. "Are we doing this here?" he then asked,
indicating Julian and Colin.
Lex tilted his head and scoffed then emphatically nodded. "Yeah," he said,
"we're doing this. What's on your mind, Rick?"
Rick eyed him and then said, "This smells like a ploy, something your father
set up. And whether as a warning or for some other twisted reason, he's- he's
arranged all this, and we are falling for it."
Not once did Rick look or point at Chance, but it was clear to everyone in the
room, especially a now red-faced Chance, just who Rick was calling a spy.
"So of course he knows you're all with me," Rick said, "and now how long before
some detectives are at my door with a hastily obtained warrant and Raisa and I
are being charged with kidnapping?" He took a deep breath, while Lex picked at
his fingernails. Then Rick, sighing, asked, "How in the hell can you trust a
word this guy says?" 
Lex jerked his head up, his pounding, still-concussed head, and, yep, Rick was
finally tossing a thumb Chance's way. "Oh," Lex said, "we're not playing coy
anymore? OK, he's not a spy, so please, and I mean this in the nicest, humblest
way, fully aware and incredibly appreciative of you and your partner's
hospitality: Rick, shut the fuck up."
He could feel Julian's big eyes on him, that timid look the kid got around
Lionel, but this wasn't even an issue right now, this having Chance here. A
spy? Really? Lex had already been through this. 
"Look," he said, more subdued, "I know when someone is lying to me. You master
that pretty quick, living like this, so when I tell you, 'hey, this guy is OK,'
please do me the courtesy of believing what I say." Rick had his hands low on
his hips, but he didn't look pissed off anymore or like he was about to open
his mouth and kick them all out of his house, so Lex hedged his bets. He said,
"Chance helped me, and he wasn't lying." A quick glance told him Chance was
still looking weirded out, which was a good sign. Meant he wasn't exactly sure
what was going on. Lex turned back to Rick. "I trust him. That's all there is
to it." 
Rick clearly wanted to respond but admirably refrained. Lex seized the moment
and steered it towards Lian and Colin's arrival, and Rick eyed him but played
along. 
Then it was all Julian doing his storytelling, about tracking down Rick's
address and packing up and getting in a cab and knocking on Rick's door. Rick
took over, said they'd knocked while he was cooking, etc. Lex just really
wanted to stop moving for a moment and pass out. He was glad they were here,
but it was all a bit much. 
Eventually conversation ground to an awkward halt. Rick looked at Lex and then
nodded his head at Colin, a silent Colin still curled up with his knees against
his chest and his feet on Rick's upholstery.  
Lex felt like he'd flung open all the closed doors and now had to drag his
brothers to safety. Their house was burning down around them. Nothing was
solved; nothing was over. It'd barely even started. This was all still build-
up. Not even this night was over yet. Lex hadn't had to ask Rick or Raisa to
stay here, not before they'd offered, but even seeing Chance off and going
upstairs—there was getting Lian and Colin into a room and trying to get them to
sleep. Had Colin slept at all in the past two days? Lex had probably slept more
than he had, and he was running on fumes at this point. No wonder he wouldn't
look up. What a weight to be lugging around.
God, Lex was kind of a shitty older brother. Julian was a better older brother,
for crying out loud. He'd at least been actively trying this whole time. Lex
had thrown in the towel years and years ago.  
Lex rubbed his eyes a little and then looked over at Chance. "Hey, man– " he
started to say.
Chance interrupted him. "No, hey, you're tired and, uh, hurt. I'm gonna take
off, OK?" He stood up and extended his hand again, and Lex smiled. He got back
to his feet, and he shook Chance's hand and then walked with him to Rick
Jameson's front door. 
"Uh, here's my number," Chance said then, holding out a piece of paper.
Lex almost made a crack about going to all this trouble just to get the guy's
digits, but he was too tired and it wasn't worth it. Instead, he said, "I owe
you big time, you know."
Chance kind of smiled. "Nah, no big deal. If I can do anything or, uh, help
anymore? Let me know, OK?"
"Yeah," Lex said, still somewhat amazed this dude was for real, "will do.
Thanks, Chance."
"Bye, Lex."
And Lex watched him hail a cab and then took a deep breath before closing the
door and walking back into the living room. Colin hadn't moved, and Lian was
still looking at Lex like he somehow knew all the answers.
Two kids needing him, needing Lex to figure out what they were going to do,
where they were going to live, how the hell they'd pay for everything, and
looking at Colin still all curled up, Lex saw that tiny little boy from years
ago, that freaked out kid who'd still smiled and laughed and giggled and
blushed, who'd hugged him and given him presents. Lex can remember thinking to
himself, looking at Colin when he'd first been introduced, thinking and
realizing, 'He looks just as lost and alone as I am.'
Still lonely.  
===============================================================================
Rick showed them around upstairs. Colin and Lian took the room at the end of
the hall, and Lex was across the way, closer to the master. 
Lex waited and surreptitiously watched his brothers clean up for bed. Julian
combed his hair. Adorable. Colin brushed his teeth right-handed, facing away
from the mirror, and Lex thought a therapist should be pretty high up on the
to-do list.
But, for how exhausted he felt, his eyes heavy and burning, Lex couldn't fall
asleep. Didn't even think he really managed to doze off. Just kept staring up
at the ceiling of Rick and Raisa's guest room and worrying. 
About two-thirty, and Lex startled awake—awake!—at the sound of shouting close-
by. Wailing, he thought, right before he jumped out of bed and yanked his door
open. Out in the hall, the door to Julian and Colin's room was open, and Lex
ran in to Julian on his way out. Out in the hall, Lex caught him by the arms
and pulled him close. Asked, "What is it?"
"He's crying," Lian said into Lex's chest, and from the feel of it, Colin
wasn't the only one crying. 
Moving closer to see, Lex kept Julian close, but something in his stomach sank
in dread when he did finally get to the doorway. 
Creepy, terrifying, Julian shaking in his arms, and Lex was a stranger
witnessing Colin immobile on the bed. Still, unmoving, he reacted like he was
hit, a loud grunt as though someone had punched him, whines, whimpers, a yell
for something or someone, mangled by sleep, but Colin wasn't thrashing or
kicking like a nightmare. His hands were down by his sides, and he was flat on
his back. Looked like a corpse, pale, sweating, crying, and Lex gave Julian a
quick squeeze before untangling himself and walking into the bedroom.
"Colin," Lex tried, not whispering but not yelling. Didn't want to jostle him
awake, either. "Lin," he tried. "Lin, wake up; it's OK. Hey, Linny," Lex said
right after a particularly heart-rending whimper, "hey, come on, wake up. Wake
up. Open your eyes for me, Lin. Can you do that? Please wake up."
Lex had his hand about an inch from Colin's shoulder, when he stopped. Lex
looked, and Lin's eyes were open, were on Lex. 
"Hey," Lex whispered. Tear-tracks on his face, Colin frowned and looked around.
"Had a nightmare," Lex said, kind of hoping to start a conversation because
that wasn't a normal nightmare. Lex knew from nightmares, and that was
something else. Trauma, flashback, something he felt he had to hear, like that
would somehow exorcise it. Stupid.
"Lin?" Julian asked, coming up close now. He didn't hesitate where Lex had,
just climbed back into bed and invaded Colin's space. 
"Sorry I woke you," Colin mumbled. He pulled Julian close, kind of hugging him,
and Lex felt outside for a second, like the help.
Then he turned and took the chair with Lian's bag on it, set the bag down on
the floor, and pulled the chair up next to the bed. He pretty much collapsed
into it, lifted his feet up onto the bed, and leaned his head back against the
headrest. Eyes closed, Lex felt their eyes on him and said, "Too tired to
move."
And he slept. 
===============================================================================
Breakfast was tense, something to which Lex had actually long ago grown
accustomed. What was different this time around was the fact this meal was
awkward and uncomfortable and yet didn't include his father's presence at the
table. Usually the only times Lex truly felt off balance were due to Lionel
hovering somewhere near. For once, Colin was the cause of the uneasiness, and
the boy's attempts to fade into the background only highlighted the situation.
Every day was increasingly more dangerous, for all of them, but for no one more
than Colin. He had been the one most hurt, most neglected and abused, and he
would be the one on whom everyone focused. The media was going to hound him
mercilessly.
 
Lex hadn't charged his phone in the last two days, and consequently the thing
had died sometime last night. When he'd finally recognized the problem and
plugged the damn thing into the recharger, it was to the discovery of two new
voicemail messages waiting for him. From Alfred Pennyworth. Bruce's Alfred. And
after dazedly listening to them over and over again, he'd rushed to find the
nearest newspaper, and had then moved on to the television, trying to
understand what had happened. It couldn't really be true, could it?
 
God, what was he going to say? He'd probably just take one look at Lex and say
something unnervingly close to home, and then Lex would grab him and kiss him
hard and then punch him right in his beautiful fucking face for leaving like
that. And then everything would be like it was. . . only not.
 
Maybe Lex would take Lian and Colin and go to Gotham. Bruce would let them stay
there. Lian could go to school, safely away from their father, and Lex and
Bruce would figure out how to bring Lionel down. And Colin. Lex would give
Colin whatever the kid wanted. It would be up to him to decide what he wanted
to do. He was smart enough, he could probably just test out of high school,
easy. And maybe Lex could get him to just. . . have fun for awhile, get him to
do regular kid things. Take him to a shrink, and do his utmost to show his
brother that no matter what their father had done, Colin Marcus Luthor was no
freak, at least, no more than any wealthy brat was. No more than Lex and Julian
and Bruce were.
 
Bruce Wayne, back in the States after nearly three years missing. And he hadn't
called Lex. Alfred had. They'd been best friends, at least, Lex had thought so.
They'd been lovers, and partners in crime for years, and then Bruce had just. .
. left, and now returned, and he'd never said a word to Lex. He hadn't said
anything. People keeping secrets from him seemed to be a recurring theme
lately. The newest fad: Lex Luthor mustn't know anything relevant.
 
 
***
 
 
Colin was sitting on his bed drawing when Lex found him. Julian was pretending
to read a book, while none-too-subtly watching him, and Lex felt proud of his
youngest brother. He was a good kid, through and through. He approached Lian's
chair, resting a hand on his shoulder.
 
"Hey, I think I've got some good news," Lex said, trying to hide his own
excitement and sense of relief. He now had back-up. Lian laid his head against
the back of the chair, and tilted it up to look Lex in the eye, upside down.
"Bruce is back in the country. I'm gonna try and get in contact with him soon,
and we'll see if he can help us."
 
Lian looked pleased. . . distracted, but pleased. His eyes soon drifted back
over to Colin, and Lex followed his focus. Pencils. Colin was using pencils
today in his drawings, and was currently doing. . . something using only his
fingertips. Shading? Adding those final small touches to his work that would
transform it from a two-dimensional representation into something incredible,
something so life-like it always stole the breath from Lex's body to see it.
 
And many of those works of art were gone now, Lex remembered. Thrown off the
roof of their father's den of misery, they were most likely at this very moment
nothing more than disintegrated bits of paper, ink, and graphite blotched and
ripped into incomprehensible scratchings. Nothing like their former glory. Much
like Colin in some respects, Lex thought.
 
And like his memories of their mother, Lex now realized those of Colin all took
place while his brother was suffering. For every happy moment Lex and Colin had
shared, there must have been hundreds of horrific tortures his younger brother
had to have endured. For every smile and grin, there were years' worth of tears
and screams. . . and their own father had caused them, forced them from his own
son. Lionel. Lex couldn't see straight for all the rage that pulsed through
him.
 
He came back to himself, when his shin knocked into the bedframe. Evidently, in
his anger and devastation, he'd subconsciously decided to try and comfort
Colin. Lex's hand hovered over Colin's slumped right shoulder, and he decided
to just go with it and be rejected. He laid it down. And Colin looked up from
his sketch book, and into Lex's eyes. There was no startled flinch or move
away. Colin must have heard him move. It would have been hard not to, when the
only other sounds in the room were each's breathing, the vague shuffling and
ruffling sound of Colin's fingers on the paper in front of him, and
occasionally, the rasp of a page being flipped  from where Lian was sitting.
Perhaps Colin simply chose to let Lex demonstrate his feeble attempt at
brotherly affection and reassurance.
 
Lex wouldn't say the kid looked particularly happy by any means. Understandable
and quite appropriate under the circumstances, but the kid didn't look
uncomfortable, either. Quirking his lips a bit, Lex dared to look at the
drawing under Colin's hands. He was quite shocked to see last night's dinner
depicted in the shadowing and smooth lines he had come to recognize as Colin's
preferred style.
 
Raisa and Rick, Lian, Lex, and Chance were all there, looking almost real
enough to touch. And as Lex studied the drawing a bit more, he saw that Colin
had even included a bit of himself there. While drawn from his perspective,
Colin had been putting the finishing touches on a pair of familiar looking
hands located at the bottom of the page. They were larger than the other
objects in the sketch, and therefore drawn as being closer to the viewer, and
Lex recognized those slim fingers as Colin's own. Beautiful, beautiful talented
hands. . . just like their owner.
 
With his hand on Colin's shoulder, he could feel when his brother's head turned
back to look at the drawing. Then a silky smooth slither followed, as long
locks of jet-black hair fell across the back of Lex's hand. Colin had been in
the middle of adding nails to his sketched hands, and Lex was mesmerized by his
real hands' movement. The flip and curve as he used the pencil, and then the
small, slight smears that changed so much, and suddenly Colin stopped. Lex
looked at his face, and saw Colin biting his lower lip and squinting his eyes
as he tilted his head away. Then he looked up at Lex and said quietly, "There.
It's all done." And for the second time in as many days, Colin smiled at him.
And it reached those magnificent eyes.
 
"It's amazing, Colin," Lex said throatily. He couldn't seem to catch his breath
with Colin focusing so intensely on him, and decided to include Lian in this
rare peaceful moment. "Lian, come look," he said as he reached out his arm
towards the boy. His left hand remained on Colin's hot shoulder, and Lex had no
intention of removing it any time soon.
 
Colin's smile slowly bloomed into a crooked grin as the youngest Luthor came
bounding across the floor. Lian full-on jumped onto the bed, making the bed
bounce and all of them laugh. He leaned over and looked questioningly at Colin.
Receiving a smiling nod, Lian gently moved the sketch pad over to his own lap
and looked with intense concentration on the rendering of the previous night's
dinner. A smile came over his face finally, as he looked back up at both of
them.
 
"It's last night, right," Lian said, in a tone that made it apparent he knew
the truth, and was only being hesitant. His eyes returned to the page, as he
said in a wondering voice, "God, Colin, it's so beautiful." He looked over at
Colin, and Lex could see light reflect off the tears in his eyes. "You're so
talented, it's unbelievable." Eyes drawn back to the drawing once more, as
though pulled there, and Lian murmured so quietly Lex almost didn't catch what
he'd said. "I wish you believed that."
 
A slight tremble under Lex's hand attested to Colin's hearing the words also,
and Lex decided that perhaps he should leave them alone and try Bruce again.
Lifting his left hand, he lowered it back to his side, tucking his hands in his
pockets and unconsciously leaning away from the bed.
 
"I'm going to go call Bruce, see if he answers this time, so I'll see you guys
in a bit." And with that, Lex ignored both questioning looks he received in
reply and left the room.
 
 
***
 
"Wow," Lex said dryly into the telephone receiver. "I'm amazed I finally got
you. And here I thought I was being ignored. . . for three years." He tried to
keep his voice on this side of bitter, but had the feeling he'd crossed over
into near-woman-scorned territory.
 
There was a sigh, and then silence for a moment.
 
"I understand why you're. . . upset. . . but I promise I'll give you my reasons
for leaving and secrecy, soon. As soon as I see you." And Lex could hear the
smile in the voice as it next said, "You don't have any idea how wonderful it
is to hear your voice again, Lex." Hell, Lex knew just which smile it was, too:
the small, crooked one Bruce used when he was most amused. It almost always
preceded a chuckle, which was Bruce's version of a laugh. Lex had never heard
the man actually laugh.
 
"Yeah, well you just remember how wonderful I sound the next time you get it in
your head to go gallivanting around the world for long stretches of time, with
no word to those who care about you." Lex waited a significant beat for comedic
effect and then said, "Like Alfred."
 
And there was the chuckle. Lex felt like his face had split in half, he was
grinning so big.
 
But. . . it felt right to grin. He was in his own guest room of the Jamesons'
house, both of his brothers were relatively safe in the room next door, and he
was on the phone with Bruce Wayne. Bruce, who was chuckling, and sounded happy
to hear from him. Bruce, who would help Lex make everything right again.
 
 
***
 
 
The Julie was an upscale restaurant located approximately ten minutes from the
Jamesons' house, and completely on the other side of Metropolis from Luthor
Plaza. . . and thus Lionel. The reservation was for two in the afternoon. No
chance of running into crowds or any of his father's business associates. Bruce
had arranged it, and Lex had no complaints. The man had always been
exceptionally good at strategy. The few times Lex played Bruce at chess, he'd
had his ass handed to him with a constant smirk hidden behind the winner's
hand. And while Lex hated to lose, seeing Bruce do his version of a smile well
made up for it. Whenever Bruce 'smiled,' a small dimple appeared in his left
cheek. One memorable time, Lex had tickled him until he swore Bruce actually
giggled, and the dimple became visible. He'd kissed that spot, and licked it. .
. sucked and bit Bruce's cheek trying to get closer to that small bit of
innocence left in his friend. Now he wondered if it would still be there, and
what he would do if it weren't.
 
As he entered the glass and metal building and approached the maitre'd, Lex let
his gaze roam around what was visible of the dining areas. Only two tables were
filled that he could see, which spoke well of their ability to be private and
unheard. What he and Bruce would be discussing didn't need any more drama than
it already had surrounding it.
 
"May I help you, sir?" a voice asked. Lex looked back at the podium in front of
him, where a middle-aged man in glasses wore a polite, expectant expression on
his face.
 
"Yes," Lex responded, moving forward. "Party of two. I'm not sure if the
reservation is for Luthor or Wayne." He had barely finished saying his own
surname before the man began to nod his head quickly.
 
"Yes, sir," he said, sounding even more obsequious and obliging. "Right this
way, Mr. Luthor. The other party has already been seated." And he turned and
began walking through the restaurant. Lex was surprised by how empty the place
seemed to be, and how far back their table was. They just kept walking and
walking and he still couldn't see Bruce.
 
Finally, the maitre'd took a left around a corner. . . and there he was. Bruce
rose from the table as they came nearer, and Lex waited until the maitre'd
retreated before moving around the table to stand directly in front of his. . .
Bruce. The corners of the other man's mouth curled up and he raised an eyebrow.
 
"Are you going to slap me?" he asked.
 
"No, I'm not going to slap you," Lex snapped. "Though you may have been MIA for
several years, I assure I still possess a certain sense of dignity and command.
If anything, I'd like to punch you right in your smug mouth, but as we're in
public," he briefly looked around, "sort of. . . I feel the need to refrain."
He lowered his head and tried to deliver a menacing look as he said, "But once
we're alone, you'd best watch out, you bastard."
 
Bruce just chuckled and then nodded his head solemnly.
 
"Of course, Lex. I would expect nothing less from such a noble creature as
yourself." But he chuckled again, and Lex found he couldn't keep a straight
face, either. He reached out and dragged Bruce in close for a manly, back-
slapping, public-friends type of embrace.
 
"God, Bruce," he whispered, and was semi-mortified that his voice broke over
the name. But Bruce wouldn't care. In fact, he'd most likely love the fact that
Lex had been pining for him for the last three years. Bruce pulled back, but
gripped Lex's upper arms, as he looked deep into his eyes. Lex was a sucker for
eyes. All the looks in the world couldn't make up for a bad set of peepers in
his opinion, and Bruce had. . . incredible eyes. Pale, and yet dark. They were
ice-blue in color and so old Lex always felt sad looking into them. Intense.
Bruce's gaze, like the man himself, was intense and all encompassing.
 
"I missed you," Bruce said, as his right hand briefly touched Lex's temple and
then slowly slid down cheek and chin, gliding across his throat to finally rest
on a shoulder. "It's so good to see you, again." Bruce's face had been
surprisingly open from the moment he'd first spoken, but now as the man slowly
backed away, he adopted a detached expression. He'd pulled up his socialite
mask in front of Lex. Lex just sighed, and moved to take the seat across from
him.
 
 
***
 
 
Midway through the meal, after Bruce had briefly attempted to describe to Lex
what he'd been about during his time 'disappeared,' and silence had settled
over the table, Lex decided to catch Bruce up on the Luthor family drama and
dysfunction. Taking a few deep breaths as he thought over what to say, he was
startled when Bruce beat him to it.
 
"So, what's going on, Lex? You sounded. . . strained when we talked the other
night." Bruce himself took a deep breath, and the mask had cracked again when
he next met Lex's eyes. "Did Lionel. . . do something?"
 
And Lex was dumbfounded. The way Bruce had hesitated, the way he'd said
'Lionel'. . .
 
"Bruce, what-- ?" Lex began, but was interrupted.
 
"I-- I know, Lex. About Colin. I figured it out a long time ago." Bruce looked
thoroughly contrite, at least that's what Lex would have called it. He'd never
seen him so upset or. . . just guilty-looking.
 
"What? What do you know. . . about Colin?" He had to force himself not to
fidget, to maintain eye contact and keep his breathing regular and under
control. Bruce had known? Bruce had known and hadn't said a word.
 
"That first time I came to stay with you, during Winter Break, that's when I
realized something was. . . wrong." He shrugged and stared at his now abandoned
chicken marsala, only half eaten. Lex was starting to get seriously pissed off.
Bruce looked back up at him, and licked his lips in one of his few nervous
gestures; at least that hadn't changed. "I didn't know for sure, really. I
just-- I recognized the fact that he, Colin-- I saw the trauma in him, Lex. I
saw my eyes in his face."
 
Well. Well, that sort of explained it, then. Bruce's own. . . 'problems' were a
taboo subject. It made a certain kind of sick sense that if he'd seen some of
himself in Colin, he wouldn't talk about it. Ever. To anyone, not even Lex.
Once, back at Excelsior, one of the teachers had filed a request that forced
the Dean to take a second look at Bruce's so-called 'coping skills.' Evidently
during a discussion on nature vs. nurture, one of the many asshole bullies had
made a comment about Bruce. . . and his parents' death. And Bruce flipped out.
Pummeled the kid, and it took four guys to pull him off. He was required to go
to a shrink for months after that.
 
Sometimes Lex got the feeling that Bruce would never be able to be happy. There
were moments where he seemed content, maybe, but Lex had never seen him smile.
There had never been a twinkle in Bruce's eye the entire time he and Lex had
known each other. It felt like Bruce was only half there, like half of him had
died with his parents, and the other part was doing its best to act as though
nothing had happened at all.
 
And hadn't he been thinking a lot lately how similar Bruce and Colin were? Now
he could see why. Both of them were just so. . . broken, like birds who'd never
had the chance to fly. Children. Somewhere inside both of them were those
terrified boys they'd once been. Bruce -- stuck in that alley with his parents'
bodies, sitting there as they grew cold. And Colin. . . Lex had recently begun
to suspect that he didn't even know the half of what had been done to his
brother. That screaming the other night , screaming and crying, while lying
perfectly still, had scared Lex so badly, he knew he'd never forget that scene.
 
But if Bruce were still so. . . messed up, was there any hope for Colin?
 
" --Lex? Lex!" His name was being called, and he jerked his head up from his
unseeing study of his breast of duck. Bruce. Poor, poor, so sad Bruce.
 
"Yes?" he asked. His breath was quiet, almost a whisper.
 
"Where are your brothers? Surely-- surely they're not at the house. A hotel?"
 
Lex mentally shook himself, and found it easy to tell Bruce the truth. He was
still his best friend. Apart from Lian, he was kinda Lex's only friend. And how
sad and pathetic was that? That his only friends on this earth were his younger
brother and a man who'd disappeared and left him behind three years ago without
even saying goodbye.
 
"No, Bruce. They're at my lawyer's house," Lex said, looking across the table
as he tilted his head. "I was finally told what was going on and got them out
of there. . . God, was it only a few days ago?. . . It feels like a lifetime."
 
"But they're okay? You're okay?" Bruce clenched and unclenched his right hand,
which rested on top of the table. Lex knew what that gesture signified. It
meant Bruce wanted to reach out, but was either afraid of rejection or deemed
the setting inappropriate. Perhaps both.
 
"I'm fine. Lian's fine. Colin's. . . not, but that's to be expected." And now
he felt the anger and resentment begin to pulse and beat within him again. Lex
leaned forward and nearly hissed as he said, "Why didn't anyone tell me this
was happening? You knew. Lian seemed to know something was going on, too. And
Colin. . . Why wasn't I told?!"
 
Bruce looked paler than usual after Lex said that. He forced himself to sit
back and calm down. Sure, there wasn't anyone else near them, but it wouldn't
do any good to take it out on Bruce. It wasn't his fault. None of this was
Bruce's fault. The man had his own hang-ups, as witnessed by the fact that he'd
pretty much run away from himself and everyone who knew him. So throwing this
all on him, blaming Bruce for not telling Lex that. . . that his own father was
abusing and molesting his younger brother, wouldn't get any one of them
anywhere safer. They needed Bruce. Lex wanted Bruce around. He needed Bruce.
Bruce would help.
 
Lex had let his gaze drop back down to his plate, and he didn't immediately
raise his head as Bruce started speaking quietly and rationally.
 
"No one wants to tell someone whom they love things like this, Lex. Lian is
young, perhaps too young to really get it all. And I-- I couldn't say that to
you. If it were untrue, if it had all been a mistake or something completely
different, and I caused you pain and the loss of your family, I never could
have forgiven myself. I just-- I wanted to wait and watch, and I ended up
waiting too long, and I stopped watching."
 
Lex gathered his courage to look at Bruce, and when he did he found his anger
truly gone. Well, his anger towards Bruce, anyway.
 
"I understand, Bruce. I do," Lex told him. "I just wish things. . . but it
doesn't even matter what I wish, does it?" His gaze turned unfocused and far
away, as his eyes drifted over to the window on the right. "It happened, and it
happened this way, and now we have to get through it." He felt himself
inexplicably tearing up, and summoned all his willpower to push those damn
tears back down. But when he looked back at Bruce, he saw the same emotions and
regrets on his face, too. Muted, but there nonetheless. Bruce understood. He'd
always understood Lex. And it hit him again like a ton of bricks, after three
years of pushing the feeling down, denying it, ignoring the pain it caused: He
loved this man.
 
"I need your help," Lex said. "I need you to help me, to help us."
 
And Bruce got that smirk on his face again, this time it almost broke Lex's
heart to see. For there was that dimple on his left cheek and those still sad
eyes, and this was how Lex had remembered him while he'd been gone. Sad and
beautiful and broken Bruce.
 
"Oh, Lex," he said, lightly. . . for Bruce. "All you had to do was ask."
 
 
***
 
 
As they got into Bruce's car, Lex couldn't help but smile. . . if only to
himself. Wouldn't do for the gossip-mongers and so-called 'media' to get photos
of him grinning like a loon at Gotham's recently returned Prince. They might
get the right impression. Or at least, Lex hoped it would again be the right
impression. Hopefully, Bruce was still. . . interested. . . beyond just being
friends. But then, who knew what that man had up his sleeve. He'd briefly,
loosely laid out his grand plan to redeem and save "his city". . . a term the
man had used himself. At first, Lex thought maybe Bruce had hit his head while
abroad. But then he'd reminded himself that this was Bruce Wayne, and
everything fell back into place.
 
Bruce insisted that they go to the Jamesons' house, and meet with both Rick and
Lex's brothers. And he demanded that Lex let him drive, which Lex thought
hilarious and totally Bruce. Lex drove recklessly, even he knew that. Hell,
he'd yet to tell his friend about the 'accident' he'd been in the other day.
And yes, while it was becoming clear that Lionel had orchestrated the whole
thing, Lex had done a magnificent job of being utterly predictable and playing
right into the bastard's hands.
 
So Bruce drove. Fine with Lex, it allowed him to engage in a long-unavailable
hobby of his: Bruce-watching. Those strong, and he would attest, quite nimble
too, sleek hands, guiding the, of course black sports car easily and deftly
through the snowy streets of Metropolis. Perfectly tailored suit and overcoat.
And when in the hell had he had time to have that made? The man had only been
back three days! Jesus, Bruce got more accomplished in three days than Lex
could in three months! And hair slicked back, showing off that beautiful,
handsome face. Bruce wore a surprisingly bright blue shirt and tie, which made
his eyes stand out even more. Lex had expected black and grey. That's all he'd
seen Bruce wear. . . before. Now he wore colors and Lex wasn't sure if that
meant anything or not. Probably Bruce just playing the game. After all, sane
and happy billionaires didn't wear only black and grey. And Bruce was
definitely in the limelight right now, after his abrupt return from the 'dead.'
Better to play it safe, Lex supposed. Still. . . it kinda freaked him out.
 
Bruce didn't speed. He boringly observed all the rules of the road, and it took
them a full ten minutes longer to reach the lawyer's house than it had for Lex
to drive to the restaurant. Well, it wasn't like they really had to rush over
there, or anything.
 
Bruce parked behind a blue Supra on the street, and they climbed the steps side
by side, arms and shoulders bumping and brushing against each other as they
moved. Lex had the feeling Bruce was doing it on purpose, if the man's smirk
were any indicator, and felt a brief sense of reassurance. Well. And mentally
shook himself. Later, he thought. Now, they had to. . . talk.
 
Lex barely got one knock on the door before it was jerked open, and his hand
was hanging in a fist in midair. He quickly lowered it and smiled at Lian, who
was standing half-blocked by the heavy mahogany wood of the door. Lian wore an
expression of pure shock, and Lex watched as it gradually morphed into one of
happy surprise. The boy stepped back from the door, opening it wider and waving
them both in.
 
"Lex! Bruce! Uh, hi, Bruce," he said after he'd shut the door behind them and
turned around to face them. He was still looking dazed, and Lex couldn't resist
chuckling. He just looked too funny. Lian turned to him and gave him a weak
glare before laughing himself. He then turned back to Bruce and stuck his hand
out, ever the proper little gentleman. "Bruce, I'm so glad you came," he said
enthusiastically. Bruce's expression lit up a little bit, and his mouth turned
up into what, for Bruce, constituted a sincere smile.
 
"It's good to see you again, too, Julian. Is your brother around?" Bruce asked,
knowing full well that Colin was nearby.
 
"Uh, yeah," Lian said, withdrawing his hand and tucking it into his pants
pocket. And as Lex looked down, he realized that they were both standing the
same: hands in pockets, slightly slouching. It made him smile. That was his
little brother. . . and yet, he felt something else, too. It wasn't quite guilt
or purely sadness, but his thoughts brought him back to Colin and that memory
of long ago, when the boy had told him he deliberately used his left hand. So
he could fit in better.
 
"He and Mr. Jameson are in the study," said Lian, effectively cutting short
Lex's inner monologue. "It's this way." Lian gestured to the coat rack, and
then turned and waited for them at the entrance into the hallway. He and Bruce
took off their coats and hung them up, then both moved towards the doorway and
Lian.
 
As they walked along, Bruce would often glance Lex's way, and then look around
quickly, as though he were afraid of getting caught staring. Lex was just
confused. He'd never been able to really tell what Bruce was thinking, and this
just highlighted that fact. What? What was going on in that man's head?
 
Lian stopped in front of another dark mahogany door, and opened it for them,
standing back to allow them inside first. Lex took the lead, wanting to know
what he and Bruce were walking into and trying to figure out where they each
should sit for optimal evil-business discussion.
 
Jameson rose from behind his desk, and started walking around it. Bruce brushed
past from behind Lex and waited at his side to be introduced. Lex looked around
for Colin, and found him sitting in the corner, as far away from the other
chairs and the desk as he could get and still be inside the room  He had his
feet on the floor and his hands in his lap, looking perfectly calm, cool, and
collected. Lex was somewhat shocked, to say the least. Then he remembered his
first day back in the city, and that 'meeting' with Lionel in their father's
study. Colin had been distant and cold and secure then, too. It reminded him of
someone, but he couldn't at the moment put his finger on whom.
 
Turning back to Jameson and Bruce, Lex made the introductions. Then he chose
the middle seat in front of the desk, and sat. Lian, as he'd guessed, took the
one to his left, closest to Colin and Lex. Bruce gracefully lowered himself
into the chair on Lex's right. He hadn't made Colin greet Bruce -- made, Lex?
You could have made him, hmmm? he thought -- and Bruce seemed to follow his
lead. He'd nodded at Colin, and managed to somehow be ignored and stared at at
the same time.
 
Again, Lex was confused by Colin's demeanor. It was on the tip of his tongue.
He had a sense of deja vu, of seeing that before--
 
And abruptly, he realized where and when and by whom. Whom Colin was imitating.
And he felt sick. And stupid for not putting it together, for not thinking of
it earlier. Whom had Colin spent the most time around? Who took him to meetings
and dragged him around and made his life hell? Who was a sick fucking bastard,
and Lex's own father?
 
Lionel. Colin was acting like Lionel Luthor. God.
 
"Mr. Wayne, it is a pleasure to meet you," Jameson said, and Lex jerked back to
awareness, and away from those horrible thoughts. Rick was looking at Bruce
from his seat behind the desk, and he seemed pleased, though Lex was unsure of
how he came to that conclusion. The man wasn't smiling, or anything. He was
talking faster, though, and was a bit more animated, so perhaps that was it. "I
understand that you are a close friend of Lex's, here, and I have been told in
no uncertain terms," a brief look over at Lex, "that you are to be privy to
everything about this case that is discussed. So," Jameson said, leaning back
in his chair and clasping his hands together over his stomach. "Where would you
like me to start? As one of the family," a longer look at Lex, and perhaps a
small grimace, "I'll leave it up to you to decide. I've come to understand that
my clients can be a little. . . temperamental and opinionated." Jameson smirked
and continued with, "Best to let you start, I think."
 
The snarky bastard, Lex thought. He just loved goading Lex, and Bruce seemed
somewhat amused, too.
 
"Well, I'd like to know what's going on, what kind of action is going to be
taken." Bruce looked over at Lex as he spoke next. "I'm not entirely sure
what's happened, exactly. If that's all right?" He looked a little unsure and
Lex began to feel nervous. He hadn't told Bruce what was going on. . . exactly.
He'd just assumed that Bruce would already have put it together, somehow. But
that was foolish. Bruce was many things, but a mind-reader wasn't one of them.
Sure, he was aware of what had happened to a certain degree, but. . . but.
 
"Well," Jameson began, and then fell short. "As I understand it-- "
 
"What is it you want to know exactly. . . Bruce?"
 
Lex turned quickly to look at Colin. God, the way his voice had sounded had
startled him badly, he hated to admit. For one brief moment, Lex had thought
Lionel was behind him. It was his father's tone, all insinuation and mockery,
and to hear it come out of Colin's mouth was horrifying and sickening. And the
look on the boy's face, now. . . Jesus, was he the only one freaking out here?!
Lex took in both Bruce's and Jameson's expressions and saw that he wasn't. But
when he got a good look at Lian's face, all he saw was a sad sort of
resignation. Had he seen this before? Had Julian heard Colin talk like their
father before? Must have, for he didn't seem surprised. And Lex felt the guilt
burst forth again. He hadn't been there; he hadn't seen this. Lex wasn't there
for either of his brothers, and now he was witness to a small part of what
Colin had become. Half of the time he was a nervous, broken wreck. . . and the
other? Lionel's clone. Where was Colin?
 
Oh, Lex had his 'Lionel moments,' as he'd come to call them. At school, with
his peers who thought he was stupid and had bought his way into Harvard and
good grades, and with the professors who hated him when he challenged them. . .
Lex often found himself cutting them down with a look or a wicked turn of
phrase he was sure his father would have approved of. But to see Colin-- Lex
never imitated Lionel, he never spoke with the man's cadence or posture. Lex
acted like himself. It was only in his theorizing or strategizing that he
accepted that sometimes his father's way was more effective. Colin was
channeling their father, and didn't look a bit shocked that he was doing it. Or
aware.
 
"Colin, what are you trying to do?" Lex asked. "Don't take this out on Bruce.
It isn't his fault that-- !"
 
And at his words, Colin's face transformed from gloating mockery to terrible
anger and confusion. Lex was stunned into silence when Colin's eyes became
shiny and tears formed.
 
"No, it's not, is it, Lex? It's no one's fault, right? Certainly not yours, or
Lian's. . . or Bruce's. It's not your business, either!" Colin stood up and his
hands were in fists, just like that day in Lionel's study. . . "Did I ask you
to come back?! Did I ask you to save me from the big bad monster?!" And Lex was
terrified, for Colin kicked his chair away from himself, and stepped closer to
Lex, looming over him, and so full of. . . rage. He leaned down and said
quietly and breathily into Lex's ear, "I made the mistake of trusting you a
long time ago, dear brother. And look what happened." And suddenly he was being
grabbed by the chin, and forced to look his brother in the eyes. God, Colin had
moved so quickly. How had he-- ?
 
And God! those eyes. Tears were rolling down Colin's cheeks unchecked,
unnoticed. And Lex would've sworn that at that moment, Colin had disappeared.
Who he was looking at, being forced to look at, was not his brother. Lex didn't
know the man in front of him, for this was no boy, no teenager gripping his
face hard. This was a man who'd been left as a four-year-old to Lionel, to be
done with as that fucking monster pleased.
 
"Look, Lex. Look at me. Look at what I am, now, and remember. You remember that
little boy I was, and you just imagine what he did to him." Colin was so close,
so near, Lex could feel each puff of air as it crossed his lips. "I'm not him,
anymore. I don't need your help. You left. You went away and left him behind,
and now you're trying to make it all better for him, but he's not here, Lex!"
He started shouting right in Lex's face, still so physically close, close
enough to kiss, but so far, far away. "I don't need you. Keep your guilt and
run off with Bruce, and leave us alone!"
 
--and then Colin was gone, and Lex was released from that damning stare and
brutal grip. And he couldn't think of anything to say.
 
And Colin was gone. And all that was left was Lionel's boy, Lionel's creation.
. . Lionel's. Colin was gone.
 
 
***
 
 
Interlude
 
 
He'd seen that coming. Hadn't Lex? As if Lin weren't freaked enough, Lex
brought Bruce here? He's just been gone a long time. He doesn't know him,
anymore. After Lin had vanished, Bruce and Mr. Jameson immediately started
asking Lex questions about where he could have possibly gone.
 
They didn't ask Lian.
 
He wasn't stupid or naive. He knew some of what had happened to Lin. . . more
than Lex, he would bet. Who took care of Lin when he felt awful? Who talked to
him, and sat with him, and laughed with him? Who held him when he cried? For
Lin did cry sometimes. Not often, not every day or week, or even every month. .
. but Lin cried, and Lian was who he came to when he did. . . or who found him.
Lian. Not Lex or Bruce.
 
And he understood why Lin was angry at Lex. They had been so close when Lian
was young. And sometimes, sometimes he remembered them like he thought other
kids might think of their parents. Lin and Lex were his mom and dad. They had
looked out for him, and put him to bed, and taught him things. . .
 
. . . and now Lex seemed to have forgotten how to even talk to Lin. Lin wasn't
any different than he'd ever been, so why couldn't Lex just. . . be like he
used to be?
 
And he knew where Lin had gone now; he just couldn't believe Lex didn't. Just
another thing he's forgotten. But he couldn't really feel that angry at Lex.
Sometimes Lian, too, wondered what life would be like if he weren't a Luthor,
if he lived with a different family, and had a real mom and dad and nice
friends and. . .
 
But he did have a dad, didn't he? An evil monster of a father.
 
Everyone was always telling Lian he was smart, intelligent. Sometimes they even
said he was genius. And Lian loved to read. He tried to read a little of
everything: literature books, science and history books, books on mathematics
and space, society and culture. Once, he'd even finished a huge book on manners
and high class customs. It was boring, but, with his family, he figured that
stuff might be useful to know. In the science books, there were anatomy
sections. And in the literature books, there were sometimes parts that talked
about. . . abuse, and-- and sex. In one novel, the main character was a girl
who'd been. . . molested and beaten by her new stepfather. And Lian had had a
hard time reading that one. He wasn't stupid; people said he wasn't. And he
knew a lot of things, more than all the other kids in his class.
 
And he knew what had happened to Lin.
 
And Lian knew who had done it.
 
Dad had done to Lin what that girl's stepfather had done to her. And he'd done
it for years. To Lin. To Lian's best friend, to his brother and protector.
 
But by the time Lian had realized what was going on it was too late. He
couldn't do anything; he couldn't help.
 
One time, when he and Lin were lying on the couch watching a movie, Lian had
sucked up all his courage and asked his brother a question. He'd asked him why
he was so sad all the time. Colin had  looked at him for a long moment, and
then he'd said, "Because I know what the world is really like. And I know my
place in it." And that was it. He'd left the room soon after that, and Lian had
never mentioned it again.
 
Truth was. . . Lian was scared. Oh, he was so scared about it. He was terrified
that one day he'd go to find Lin and his brother wouldn't be there. He was
scared that he'd find Lin's dead body in the bathroom again, only this time Lin
wouldn't come back.
 
But most of all Lian was ashamed, because his worst fear. . .
 
. . . his worst fear was that someday Dad wouldn't want Lin anymore. He'd want
Lian.
 
And, God did it make him feel horrible to think that, to worry about it. But-
- but he couldn't make himself do anything to help. Lian was scared of his dad,
and always had been. He tried every day to do everything he thought would make
Dad proud of him. He tried to never make a mistake, never talk back or cause
any trouble. In his head, Lian imagined himself as a ghost-mouse whenever his
father was near. Lian tried to disappear.
 
But he hated him. He hated his dad. Dad had done that to Lin, and he had been
doing that to Lin for years! Up until a few days ago, and. . .
 
And Lian wanted so badly to stand up to him and say all sorts of mean and true
things to him, but he couldn't. He was just so scared. Lian was just too weak;
he was just a ghost-mouse.
 
And he did understand how Lex could have missed. . . it, could have missed what
was happening to Lin. Lex was sent away from them. Lex went to some far away
boarding school, and he hardly ever came home. Lian guessed it must have been
nice wherever he was. He'd used to wish that he could go there and be with Lex.
And Bruce. And not have to be a Luthor anymore.
 
But then Lin would be alone. Alone with only Dad, and that was worse than being
totally alone. Dad was mean and cruel and he said nasty things to Lin all the
time. Little brief words and sentences that made Lin turn white, and sometimes
Lian could tell his brother was holding back tears.
 
Julian couldn't stand up to Da-- to Lionel, but he would be damned if he'd
abandon Lin. Never. He would never forget Lin. Lian would always know how to
talk to Colin. He would always remember, always.
 
And Lian was really happy that Lex was back, and even that Bruce had come back,
too. But most of all, he was just glad that Lin was away from. . . Lionel. No
more of that. Lin wouldn't have to do that anymore. Like that girl in the
story, only worse cos it was real. Poor Lin. If he were here now, Lian would
have hugged him, he would have! And maybe if he'd done that, shown Lin that he
cared, then his big, brave, strong brother wouldn't have run away to the
cemetery. If only he'd had the courage to say, "Screw the rules! Screw LIONEL
and 'proper conduct!'" and had just hugged his brother, whom he loved more than
anyone in the whole world. . . maybe then Lin wouldn't have used his talents
like that in front of people who didn't understand, and. . . gone to their
mother.
 
They were all still talking, loudly, and they were all still ignoring Lian.
They thought he was stupid. They thought he was naive and didn't know what was
going on, he'd bet. But he knew. He was smart, everyone said so. Even Lionel
said so, and he never complimented anyone! And Lex said it, though he'd seemed
to have temporarily forgotten that at the moment. Lex was always telling him
how wonderful and amazing he was, and Lian believed he really meant it, for
even though Lex was oddly forgetful at times, and had been gone a long time, he
never lied to Lian. Never. If Lex said it, then it was true. When Lex said he
loved you, he meant it. So, when he told Lian he was smart, Lian knew it was
true. Plus, he'd already kinda figured that out. None of the kids at school had
read Nietzsche. . . and liked it.
 
So, they weren't going to ask Lian where he thought Lin might be. Fine. He
knew, and he also knew two other important facts. One, Lionel had no idea where
Lin had gone, and never had, in all the years Lin had been going there, and so
his brother was safe. And two, Lin would come back when he was. . . done. Lin
always came back.
 
In a few hours, Lin would 'suddenly' be back in his room, and Lian swore that
when he was, he would get a big hug and cuddle. Lian would go up there and tell
him he loved him, and hug him and let him cry if he wanted to, and he would
never tell a soul if that's what Lin wanted. He owed Colin that much.
 
 
***
 
 
A sense of calm understandably eluded him upon Colin's. . . disappearance. . .
from the office. Soon after, Julian excused himself, and when Raisa interrupted
them for dinner at seven, Lex realized two things. First, guessing when Colin
would return was useless, as was his destination. By all rights, Lex, being
such an exemplary brother, should have known these things already. And the
second point of his epiphany that night came after all of them including Bruce
had sat down for the evening meal, and Lex was able to take in Lian's
expression. He'd not only managed to anger Colin so badly the kid had literally
rushed off, and hours later was still gone, but he'd also somehow insulted
Lian, as well. In fact, Julian seemed nearly as angry at Lex as Colin had been.
Well, angry for Lian, which meant a lot more glaring and sighing, and much less
looming, fist-clenching, and. . . whooshing. And Lex again had no idea as to
why. It was fast becoming a theme.
 
No one ate very much at dinner, though Raisa's meatloaf was by far the best Lex
had ever tasted. Colin's absence at his side made him feel even shittier. Bruce
sat where Chance had the previous night -- God, only last night? -- and Lex
swore he could feel everyone's scowls and bad moods pressing in upon him,
choking and silencing him.
 
Bruce didn't stay long after that. The three of them helped Rick and Raisa with
the cleanup, and as Lian slumped back up the stairs to his room, Bruce made Lex
swear he would call the minute Colin showed up. Sure, he'd call. . . if Colin
ever did come back. At that moment, Lex wouldn't have blamed his brother if the
kid decided to just cut his losses and really disappear. Everything was going
so wrong. But then Lex remembered Colin and Julian's mutual devotion to each
other. Colin would never abandon Lian, and who knew Colin better than--
 
Jesus, he was an idiot! All the pieces started to fit together in some sense of
order, and Lex fully realized that his mistake, as well as Bruce's and Rick's,
had been one he himself had often been subjected to as a kid. People assumed
that because you were young and small you were also naive and completely
oblivious. If anyone should have recognized what was going on it should have
been him, should have been Bruce. Lex would wager that Lian knew exactly where
Colin had gone, and because no one had even attempted to ask him, little Lian
retaliated by not volunteering the information. Which also meant that Colin was
in no real danger. . . wherever he was. . . for Lian would put his brother's
safety above his own pride, Lex was sure of it. So it was simply a matter of
patience and tact. . . something that as of late seemed to have completely
abandoned Lex.
 
He went upstairs to apologize to Lian later that night, but it was only to find
him asleep in Colin's room. He was lying on his stomach with his head resting
on one arm, while the other hung over the side of the bed. It seemed to be a
habit of his, as Lex had found him like this just the other night in the hotel.
With the dim light from the hall shining on him, and the little bit of
moonlight coming in through the window, Lian looked so incredibly young and
vulnerable. . . so small. He was still dressed in trousers and long-sleeved
shirt, though his shoes had been kicked off at some point, and looked to have
simply collapsed on top of the unmade bed. The bulky comforter gave the
impression of trying to swallow the boy.
 
Lex gently maneuvered the wayward arm back onto the bed, and then moved the
chair that sat in front of the fireplace over to the window. From here he could
look out on the street below, and, hopefully, sitting here would allow Lex to
look for Colin's return, as well as guard Lian's sleep. That was the plan,
anyway. . .
 
 
***
 
 
. . . he was awake suddenly, and confusion as to where he was, and when it was,
immediately set in. Where was-- in Colin's bedroom, and Lian would be on the--
 
As Lex turned his aching neck over to look at the bed, he expected to see his
youngest brother still asleep on the bed. However, his heart nearly stopped
when he spotted a large shadow bending over Julian's prone form.
 
Hey!" he shouted at the figure, as he jerkily ran over to the other side of the
room to turn on the light. His left leg had fallen asleep and he was having a
hard time coordinating his legs, but he had just about made it, when his ears
picked up a low voice murmuring.
 
"It's okay, now, baby boy. Don't you even think on it, anymore. Nothing's ever
going to hurt you while there's still breath in my body. I swear nothing will
hurt you. You'll be just fine and happy, won't you?"
 
Lex finally hit the light switch, and was shocked at the sight before him. By
the time he'd made out what was being said, the identity of the person saying
it became obvious. It was Colin's appearance that gave Lex a cold sense of
dread, however. He was drenched and covered in mud and bits of grass. Leaves
stuck out of his long, tangled hair and his pants and shirt were in shreds. But
as Lex slowly circled towards the foot of the bed, he felt his heart break just
a little more as he finally got a good look at Colin's face. Desolation.
Broken. Beaten down. His brother's expression held all those things, and yet
nothing at all. It was as though Colin were here, physically in this very room.
. . but he was really still gone. Still wherever he'd run to, and what was
standing over Julian, hand tracing over his face in midair, was just some
ghost, some facsimile of Colin Luthor. Just a small part of the whole. Broken.
 
"Colin," Lex said, daring to break the strange suffocating aura in the room. He
inched closer to the wet boy, and as he was just raising a hand to lay down on
the shoulder closest to him, Lex found himself being looked at by two sets of
eyes. Only Colin's eyes had moved, his head still angled down towards Julian,
while Lian was turning over into a sitting position on the bed.
 
"I'm tired, Lex," Colin said quietly, still looking out of the corner of his
eye at Lex.
 
Shifting his eyes from Colin to Lian on the bed, Lex saw his youngest brother
ever-so-slightly nod at him, and Lex had to agree. Colin didn't appear to be in
any condition tonight to talk about anything, let alone what exactly had
happened in that office this afternoon.
 
"Yeah," Lex said, finally resting his hand on Colin's shoulder. "We'll get you
cleaned up, and then we can all get some sleep, okay?"
 
Colin just nodded mechanically several times, and then looked to Lian. That was
strange, and if Lex had had hair on his arms, he was sure it would be standing
up. Colin was looking to Lian. . . for guidance, for direction.
 
"Come on, Lin," Julian said. The boy scooted forward off the bed and held out a
hand for Colin to take. Then he pulled him towards the door, and out into the
hallway, footsteps heading to the bathroom down the hall.
 
Lex just stood there a moment, before realizing that Colin would need something
clean to change into, and that he had a call to make.
 
 
***
 
 
After seeing that both Colin and Lian were tucked into bed -- Lex felt like a
mom just thinking the words "tucked in" -- he had gone back to his own room to
think and try at some more sleep. In vain.
 
His mind refused to settle down on one topic, and thus dreamland was a no-go.
And the one thing constantly replaying in his mind was Colin's voice saying,
"It's okay, now, baby boy. Don't you even think on it anymore. Nothing's ever
going to hurt you while there's still breath in my body."
 
It was a long time until sunrise.
 
 
***
 
 
Lex's phone call to Bruce last night had been short and to the point, and his
friend said to expect him back over at the Jamesons' this morning. A constant
feeling of worry and impossible dread had filled Lex to the brim, as he'd
forgotten to even tell either of his brothers about their plans. Well, not tell
exactly, but. . . suggest? Oh, who was he kidding? Lex wanted them to leave
Metropolis, just for a little while, just to get back into some sort of healthy
pattern of living. . . away from Lionel. He and Bruce had both agreed that it
made the most sense for all three of them to stay in Gotham. . . with Bruce and
Alfred.
 
And Lex had forgotten to ask Julian or Colin if that was okay. He'd forgotten.
And so now he'd have to tell them that they were scheduled to leave this
evening, and that was somehow it. Right? God, he was such a fuck-up. A horrible
brother.
 
Lian came down the stairs first, at around eight. And Colin followed at eight-
thirty. And Lex told them his idea, and asked them if they wanted to do this,
if they wanted to move in with Bruce. . . temporarily.
 
Lian glanced at Colin and then said, in a near-whisper, eyes on his hands,
"Lex, it's okay with me." Lifting his eyes to look at Colin, he continued, "I
think it might be a good thing, too."
 
Lex felt his breath leave him in a great sigh of relief, and then he, too,
looked at Colin. He and Lian were sitting on two stools in front of the kitchen
island, while Lex stood leaning forward across from them, bracing himself on
his elbows. During the time they'd been in here, Colin had yet to look up once.
Now, as his head rose, Lex unconsciously stood up and waited for. . .
something. But Colin never met his gaze. Instead, those big green, empty eyes
drifted up over Lex's head and along the wall behind him. With his lips parted
and eyes unfocused, Colin looked hazy and disconnected, as he had since his
return to the house in the middle of last night. Truthfully, it was beginning
to scare Lex.
 
"Colin?" Lian asked, laying a hand over his arm, and ducking his head in an
attempt to get Colin's attention. "Is that all right with you? I'm sure we
don't have to go if you don't want to. . . " he trailed off, uncertainly.
 
Eyes still moving back and forth over the distance behind them, Colin's quiet
"Okay" was very nearly lost in the sudden sound of the doorbell and commotion
at the front door. Bruce had arrived, no doubt, and just in time, too. Lex was
in over his head, and, as he met Lian's eyes, he got the unsettling feeling
that so was he. Which was understandable -- he was eight-years-old, for
Chissake! -- except for the fact that Julian also seemed at a loss as to what
was going on in Colin's head. And who knew Colin better than Lian?
 
As Bruce came into the room, followed by a frazzled-looking Raisa, Lex was
struck with the thought that if neither he nor Julian could get through to
Colin now, surely Bruce could. And if not Bruce, Lex thought, inwardly smiling
a little, Alfred would get to the bottom of things and still have time to
personally polish all the Wayne ancestral silver in that dreary mansion before
dinner.
 
 
         1. Maybe there was some hope, but looking over at Colin again -
            - vacant and so. . . thin   Lex wasn't going to count on it. He'd
            just make backup plans, and. . . wait.
 
 
 
***
 
 
From Bruce's expression, Lex could tell he hadn't expected them to go back to
Gotham with him. Typical Bruce, Lex thought. While he, himself, was definitely
a pessimist and cynic, Bruce put him to shame with his own brand of maudlin
acceptance and hopelessness. And Lex knew why Bruce was like that, but it
didn't make it any easier to get the man to open up.
 
The problem with him having a relationship with another guy was, Lex had found
through experience, that both he and said guy had problems expressing their
emotions and the fear of commitment was strongly present on both sides, as
well. Basically, a relationship with one guy and one girl had a difficult
enough time progressing and being sustained, all on its own. Replace the girl
with another man, equally as neurotic and emotionally crippled as the other,
and you had a recipe for painful heartbreak. Lex had also learned that through
personal experience.
 
So Bruce was unsure. Well, that was to be expected, as Lex was, too. In fact,
he'd be more worried if Bruce had been absolutely certain as to how to proceed.
None of them were fully equipped to do this, but that just meant they had to
try harder. Lex had to try harder. No more giving up, Luthor, he thought to
himself. You're gonna do this, and you're going to get them out of his city,
and then you and Bruce, and Alfred, are just-- just all gonna sit down and
figure out what to do next.
 
Bruce had arranged for the Wayne Enterprises private jet to be at Metropolis
Airport, hangar 14, at three o'clock this afternoon. Originally, he'd sent it
back to Gotham, thinking he'd be here for a longer stay. Now he was having
Alfred fly in it here to Metropolis, and then all five of them would return to
Gotham, and the Wayne estate.
 
Currently, it was two minutes past noon, and Lex and Lian were trying to get
Colin's things packed. . . again. This was the third time Lex had packed all
his bags in the last week, and the second for Julian and Colin. Lex had gone
straight for Colin's clothes, since he knew that was just folding and nothing
too personal. He left the sketch books to Lian. So much for trying harder, eh,
Luthor? he chastised himself. Give the eight-year-old the hard task. What a
schmuck.
 
"Hey, Lin," Lian was saying. "Do you want to pack your drawings in the
suitcase, or take them with you into the compartment?" Julian was standing next
to the bed where Colin sat. The four sketch books, all that remained from a
once huge stack (Lex would guess about 20), on the comforter in front of him.
 
"Lin?" Lian asked again, and Lex turned away to face the drawers. Stuffing the
socks and shirts into the bag, he next resisted the urge to smack his head upon
the dresser. He'd forgotten to buy Colin underwear. After he'd packed for him
last time, he had sworn to buy the kid some the very next day. But. But Bruce
had come back that next day, and then they'd met at the restaurant the day
after that, and--
 
And Lex had just forgotten underwear for Colin in all the commotion and
planning. His next thought made him want to stab himself for being just as bad
as Lionel. "Though he's probably used to going without," is what he thought.
Lex's hands shook as he reached out for the next stack of shirts.
 
"Colin, what do you want me to do?" Lian's pleading voice brought Lex back to
the situation behind him. Turning around, he saw Julian had moved to the other
side of the bed in an attempt to get Colin to look at him.
 
But like he'd been doing ever since the night before, Colin's eyes simply
refused to focus on anyone or anything. Instead, the boy's head would slowly
move back and forth, and his eyes traced patterns across the walls and windows
of the house. Not even Lian could get him to focus, and Lex knew deep down they
were in trouble. They just had to get to Gotham and everything would be better.
Once they got to Bruce's, they'd figure out what to do. Alfred would know.
They'd work it out, and get Colin a doctor, and then--
 
And then they'd take them away. Lex was kidnapping two minors. . . across the
country. He was going to-- God, what were they going to do?
 
But-- but Jameson was working on that, right? He'd said something last night,
before Lex had come up to try and apologize to Lian. Rick had said that he knew
a judge and that he had friends in Gotham, and. . . Lex couldn't quite remember
and he was currently having a panic attack. Telling himself to breathe deeply
and calm down, Lex looked back over to Lian.
 
"Colin, please? Please, say something." Julian was near tears and holding
Colin's hands in his grasp, as he knelt on the floor in front of him. "I don't
know what you want if you don't tell me. Are you okay? Why won't you say
anything?" As Lian looked down at his hands wrapped around Colin's, he quietly
said, so quietly Lex almost missed it, "Why won't you tell me?"
 
A knock on the doorframe made Lex flinch and he quickly turned towards the
door. Bruce stood there, wearing his closed-off expression, which meant he was
freaked out and worried, most likely. Most of the time, when Bruce looked cold
and aloof, he was really just unsure and out of place. At least, that's what
Lex had gathered, through personal experience again. Who really knew? He
doubted even Bruce knew what Bruce actually felt half the time.
 
"Need any help?" Bruce asked, quietly, still standing out in the hall. Lex
waved him in.
 
"We're just about done." Turning to Lian, Lex said, "Julian," and when the boy
looked up, he continued, "I've got a bag we can put those in." He indicated the
books. "We'll take them onboard with us, and that way if you want them, Colin,
you can have them. All right?" Julian nodded, and Lex could tell his little
brother was trying to put on a brave face. Unfortunately, it came across as
more of a fearful grimace, but Lex didn't have the heart to say anything.
 
Turning back to Bruce, he held out the big duffle full of Colin's clothes for
him to take. He got a raised eyebrow in response, but the bag was nonetheless
gently taken from Lex's arms and hefted onto the other man's shoulder. Going to
the closet for Colin's coat, he was again startled when a hand came to rest on
the small of his back, and he felt air on his ear from Bruce's breath as he
whispered a quick, "Look," nudging Lex to turn around again.
 
Colin was holding a box out to Lian. . . with a certain reverence one only saw
with religious relics and sacred objects.
 
"This goes in the bag, too," was all Colin said before looking back out the
window. His eyes still faraway, Colin said, "You should take a look in it,
Lian. I made sure I kept everything important."
 
And then for the first time since yesterday in Jameson's office, Colin turned
his head and looked directly into Lex's eyes as he continued, "You should see
it, too, Lex. I made sure he didn't throw any of the important things away. I
kept her important things." And then he withdrew from the edge of the bed back
towards the middle, pulling his legs up and curling his arms around them. Colin
laid his head down on his knees, and simply closed his eyes, as Lex, Lian and
Bruce stared dumbfounded.
 
What scared him the most was that while Colin's eyes had been on him, Lex had
still found nothing. . . there. They were empty green glass, and the kid's
expression had revealed nothing, as well. Which, thinking on it, didn't
necessarily mean anything. After all, hadn't he just been thinking not ten
minutes earlier about Bruce's own expressionless mask? But those eyes. . .
 
Lex looked at Lian across the room, and saw the uncertainty warring with
curiosity in his face. Laying Colin's coat on the dresser, Lex walked across
the room and sat in the chair next to the window, right where he'd left it from
the night before. And as Lian scooted back towards him, Lex looked up and met
Bruce's eyes. Colin hadn't said it was okay for Bruce to look, and Lex didn't
honestly feel like sharing whatever was within the box with him. It made him
feel bad because he knew how much it would mean to Bruce, but. . . he needed
this for just them, at first. Later-- later, he would ask Colin, and then maybe
the three Luthors and Bruce and Alfred could one night sit together and just. .
. share memories. Maybe that would help all of them. And Bruce could know that
he was loved and cherished, and Colin would see that so was he. That's what
they'd do, Lex promised. He didn't know whom he promised, but he suddenly felt
like crying and found a picture of his mother came to mind. As she'd been when
he was little. All bright skin and a halo of fiery hair surrounding her, like
she carried the sun with her wherever she went. Grinning and tickling him and
God! laughing loudly, and so very, very strong and healthy.
 
When Lex looked back towards where Bruce was, he found the other man had left.
 
 
***
 
 
Lex insisted Lian do the honors of opening the wooden box, and glanced over at
Colin on the bed, all huddled into himself. Remembering his pledge to himself
to start trying harder, Lex thought of what they should do.
 
He stood up, offering a hand down to Lian. When his brother at first just
stared at the outstretched hand, and then him, as if he were crazy, Lex smiled
and nodded his head towards the bed. Lian followed his lead, and looked over.
Turning back to Lex, he stuck his hand out and Lex gripped it, pulling him to
his feet.
 
Lex went to the bed first, and resolutely sat down not too far from Colin. He
felt Lian sit down, too, and took the plunge.
 
"Won't you look at it with us, Lin?" Lex asked, quietly, the nickname just
rolling off his tongue as naturally as his own.
 
And Lex praised a god he didn't believe even existed when Colin opened his eyes
and  met his own. Colin lifted his head up and nodded, and Lex felt blessed, as
though he'd been granted absolution.
 
 
***
 
 
Inside that wooden box were what Colin had dubbed "keepsakes."
 
Inside that box were three small locks of curly hair, each bound in a blue
ribbon. One red, one black, and one brown.
 
There were many photographs in the box, too. Some with a young Lillian and
Lionel, embracing and smiling -- one with them facing the camera, she on his
back and wearing a ridiculously large sunhat, and he clean shaven and. . .
smiling.
 
Some of the pictures were of Lex. . . with hair. At the first one -- where Lex
had been photographed in his school uniform, scowl firmly affixed to his small
face -- Lian gave an abrupt snort of laughter before quickly looking up at Lex,
worriedly. Patting him on the back, Lex couldn't resist chuckling, either. Soon
all of them were laughing. Well, he and Lian laughed, while Colin smiled and
hid his face, shoulders shaking in suppressed laughter.
 
There were a few photos of a young and extremely pale Colin, and two of an 11-
year-old Lex with his arm around his new younger brother, both of them in
suits.
 
And there was one photograph that nearly made Lex break down. It was quite
simple, really, just a picture of a newborn baby, like a thousand others across
the globe. A sleeping baby, with wisps of dark hair and pearly white skin. But
on the back was written, "Dear Julian -- December 17, '92," in that familiar
loopy handwriting of their mother's. And Lex thought of how she must have
written that knowing she'd never see Julian any older than that of a newborn
baby. They all looked at that picture for a very long time, and when Lian went
to put it back in the pile, Colin's arm darted out and stopped him. He pushed
the photo back into Lian's hand and closed his fingers around it, saying, "She
would have wanted you to have that, Julian."
 
Inside that wooden box was a lock of each of their hair, and photos showing
their past. And there were 37 Warrior Angel comics, each encased in a slim
plastic sheath, with a cardboard support. Colin's first Christmas present from
Lex.
 
 
***
 
 
Alfred arrived at the Jameson house around three forty-five that afternoon. By
then, Lex, Lian and. . . Lin. . . had all finished packing and were being
stuffed with food by Raisa. Her going away present, she said.
 
"You boys are all so skinny! Look at this one!" she had exclaimed, stepping
behind Lin and lightly shaking his shoulders. "Skin and bones, that's all you
Luthor boys are. You need someone to force-feed you, don't you?" She had then
drifted back into the kitchen proper, muttering and grumbling under her breath.
Lex had a hard time containing his grin.
 
When the doorbell rang some thirty minutes later, for the second time that day,
Bruce, who had been quietly putting away his own plateful of Raisa-approved
food, quickly excused himself, long legs striding across the room and out the
doorway. A few minutes later, he returned with Alfred Pennyworth behind him.
Bruce introduced him to Raisa and then sat back in his seat, picking up his
fork and resuming his gentlemanly devouring. Gesturing Alfred to a seat, Raisa
set a bowl of white soup in front of him, much to Alfred's surprise.
 
"You don't want that stuff," she said with a wave of her hand towards Bruce's
plate. "Too heavy. But this will fill you up nicely, yes? For all of us people
who are not young skeletons." Much like the rest of them, Alfred wisely decided
that this was not a battle he would win, and slowly began spooning up the
chicken and beans in broth that Raisa for some reason called "chili."
 
"So, everything's set, Alfred?" Bruce asked. He'd cleared his plate faster than
all the rest of them, and Lex wondered how often he ate, if he'd been that
hungry. If he hadn't changed that much, then Bruce probably went for as long as
he could without eating or sleeping, just like he had when they were in school
together. And Bruce was thinner now than he'd been back at Princeton. Toned,
yes, but slimmer, like his body had been worn and worked down to just the bare
essentials. Where Lex and his brothers were just plain skinny, Bruce was lean
and wiry. And trained.
 
"Oh, yes, Master Bruce," Alfred answered, spoon halfway to his mouth. "I
believe you will be well pleased with the arrangements."
 
"Arrangements?" Lex asked warily. Bruce scheming and planning was as natural as
him breathing, and Lex had learned that the hard way over the years. "What have
you got up your sleeve, Wayne?" he said, narrowing his eyes and adopting a
suspicious scowl.
 
Following their little tradition, Bruce turned to Lex with big innocent eyes
and shrugged. "I have no idea what you are talking about, Lex. I don't believe
I have ever done anything like what you are hinting at."
 
"Mmmm, I bet."
 
Bruce was sitting at one end of the table, Lex at the other. Lian was to Lex's
right and Colin sat hunched into himself at Bruce's left. Alfred had taken the
chair on Bruce's other side, and so was directly across from Colin. As the
conversation slowed, Lian looked over at Alfred and said quietly, "My name is
Julian Luthor, sir. It's very kind of you to let us stay." Lex and Bruce had
both forgotten to introduce Alfred to Lian and Colin, and Julian, being ever
observant of manners and propriety, had decided to take the lead. God, Lex
loved that kid.
 
Alfred, laying his spoon down in his bowl, looked at Lian and bowed his head,
smile crinkling his eyes. "I am Alfred Pennyworth, Master Julian, and it is my
pleasure to meet you, young sir. Any friend of Master Bruce is always welcome
at the house. I daresay, it's not seen much company for quite some time, not
since master Lex stayed back in their schooldays. It will be wonderful to have
all of you." He smiled broadly, and looked over to Bruce, who was casually
sitting back in his chair, hands clasped together in front of his face. He'd
adopted his mask again, and Lex had a guess as to why.
 
When Alfred said that Wayne manor had not seen many guests in a long while,
what he meant was that hardly anyone had come there since the deaths of Thomas
and Martha Wayne. And so he guessed that, like Lex himself did whenever someone
mentioned his mother, Bruce had to be remembering those times when he was
young, and the house had been full of people. The Waynes had been social
butterflies, always around and involved, and many parties must have been held
at their estate.
 
And Bruce had been so young when they'd died. It must seem like a whole other
life to him now. Lillian had died when Lex was 13, and his time with her still
felt like something out of a dream. . . or, towards the end, a nightmare. He
couldn't imagine what Bruce must feel, and his love for the man surged up
powerful and overwhelming. Bruce Wayne was amazing and so incredibly strong.
 
"This is my brother Lin. I mean, Colin. But we all call him Lin. Just like Lex
is Lex, not Alexander." Lex was drawn from his thoughts on Bruce by Lian's
voice, and looked up to see Bruce staring at him from across the table. Lex
smiled at him, and received a quirk of the lips in return: Bruce's own version
of a smile. Sliding his eyes over to Colin, Lex was disturbed by his brother's
withdrawal back into silence and avoidance. He'd hoped that after their opening
of Lin's keepsake box, that perhaps the kid would talk more, or something. But
during the whole meal, Lin had kept his head down and his mouth closed -
- literally. Looking at Lin's plate, Lex saw it was still three quarters full,
and he was just pushing the food around and around. The kid was skinnier than
all of them, and the circles under his eyes were still so dark. Lin looked
terrible, and Lex was really worried. He didn't know what would help Colin.
Would talking to him about. . . things. . . help, or make him even worse? Dare
he try, and risk causing Lin to truly go off the rails?
 
All of the questions were slowly driving Lex insane. It was against his very
nature to ignore something, to not ask why? But, for Colin he was doing this.
For Lin, and Lian. His own curiosity would just have to wait, he told himself.
 
 
***
 
 
The five of them boarded Bruce's "company" jet at approximately five o'clock.
It took off for Gotham at a quarter after five, and they were in the air five
minutes later.
 
And out of Metropolis, away from Lionel and the Centre.
 
The seats in the jet faced each other in a small cluster, so that the five of
them were able to look at each other without having to turn around. Lex sat
next to Bruce. He'd immediately taken the seat closer to the middle, and Bruce
had simply smirked and comfortably lowered himself into the one next to the
window, well aware of Lex's fear of heights. Meanwhile, Lian took the seat
across from Bruce at another window, with Colin sitting next to him. Alfred's
seat was in between Colin and Lex.
 
And now Colin was sleeping. Almost the minute they'd passed over state lines,
Lin had dropped off to sleep.
 
The flight from Metropolis to Gotham would take about three hours, and Lin fell
asleep about thirty minutes in.
 
An hour after takeoff, Lex looked over to Colin and saw his mouth moving, as if
he were talking in his sleep. Worried, but not overly so, Lex went back to
discussing politics with Bruce.
 
Halfway through the flight, Colin screamed in his sleep.
 
It came out of nowhere, and scared the bejesus out of everyone, including the
pilots, who called back to make sure everything was all right. Alfred got up to
go and talk to them, while Lian tried to shake Lin awake. Much like two nights
ago, Lin remained unconscious, and tears again began falling from his tightly
closed eyes. He only screamed the once, not long, but loud and terrified. He
started shaking and moving his head back and forth, though, mumbling under his
breath. As Lex unbuckled his seatbelt and crouched by Lin's side, he was able
to pick up some of what his brother was saying.
 
"Please, no-- won't do it anymore, Daddy, I swear. Please, no, no-- won't do it
again. . . "
 
Over and over, Lin whimpered and pleaded to his dream-Lionel, and the hatred
and anger and fear rose up in Lex. Look at what you've done, Dad, he thought.
 
"Look, Lex. Look at me. Look at what I am now, and remember. You remember that
little boy I was, and you just imagine what he did to him."
 
Colin had said that. And now Lex was imagining it, and he was. . . so scared.
How did anyone make something like this better? How could this have happened?
And, Jesus, now Bruce and Alfred really knew the extent of things, Lex thought
as he looked back at Bruce. Alfred was just returning from the cockpit, and the
older man's face was horrified and sad.
 
Leaning closer to Lin, Lex began whispering to him. Calm and reassuring things
that Lex didn't really feel, but tried his damnedest to make convincing. This
had worked last time, right? But Lin wasn't waking up. He was still shaking and
crying   big tears that seemed more of a reflex than part of an emotion.
 
Finally, he laid his left hand on top of Lin's hair and Lex leaned his forehead
against his brother's. "It'll be okay, Lin. I swear. I swear I'll make it
better. Remember when you were little and afraid of storms? And I told you it
was nothing to be afraid of, and we watched how the lightning made arcs of
energy across the sky. You drew them the next day, and you said you thought
lightning was just," Lex choked back a sob. "You said it was just
misunderstood." A sad, tear-soaked laugh came out of him, and Lex could, even
now, picture how earnest and sincere Lin had been that day, all big, warm eyes
and happy smile. Lex brought his right arm up and slid it around Lin's
shoulders, praying that he'd get to see that boy again. God, Lin, I'm so sorry,
he thought. . . or maybe he said it aloud because suddenly there was a hand on
his waist, and the words, "It's not your fault, Lex," were whispered in his
ear.
 
He quickly leaned back, and, yes, Lin was awake and looking back at him. And
those eyes. . . Lex had just recalled Lin's warm, joyful eyes as a child, and
was again confronted with the dead green ones in front of him now. These eyes
were haunted and resigned, and so full of pain it made Lex ache and hurt,
himself.
 
"God, Lin, you scared us!" Julian said breathlessly from behind him.
 
Lin stiffened and his hand dropped from Lex's waist as he turned his head away.
The movement caused Lex's hand to slide from his hair. "Sorry," he whispered.
 
The stiffness didn't leave him, and Lex decided Lin didn't want him touching
him anymore. So he withdrew his arm from around Lin's shoulders and moved back
to his seat, keeping an eye on Lin  the whole time.
 
Gradually, they all settled down a bit, but the tension was still there. The
four of them kept looking at Lin, and Lin kept his head down and himself
hunched over. Lex had no doubt that if he could, Colin would bring his feet up
onto the seat and turn himself into a human ball. But the seats were too small
for that.
 
They barely spoke the rest of the flight.
 
 
***
 
 
When they landed, Bruce and Alfred led the way off the plane. Lex and Lian
waited for Lin and walked on either side of him, and over to the car waiting
for them. Alfred drove them to the mansion, and upon sight of the massive
house, Lex breathed a deep sigh of relief. They'd gotten here. Whatever else
was happening, or had happened, they were here, with Bruce and Alfred. They
were in Gotham and not as easily within Lionel's power as they had been in
Metropolis.
 
The situation was horrible, and terrifying, but Lex was thankful.
 
At least they weren't in Lionel's house, anymore. At least they weren't in his
city anymore, either. Lex would have to remember that whenever he looked over
at Lin and thought of that little boy he'd used to be.
 
 
***
 
 
Interlude
 
 
When they finally arrived at the manor, he helped carry in the luggage while
Alfred went to arrange a late dinner, which of course none of them would eat.
Alfred enjoyed doing stuff like that, though. Surely with Julian and Lex here
now, he would have the opportunity to feed someone up properly, for Bruce was
certainly no big eater. And Colin, well. . . so far, Bruce hadn't seen Colin
eat anything, so that was going to take some work on Alfred's part. But he had
every confidence in the man's abilities. Alfred never failed to nag in such a
way that you felt extremely guilty for not doing what he had, early on,
suggested ever-so-politely. Bruce was endlessly amazed that no matter how hard
he tried to resist Alfred's tricks and subtle manipulations, he couldn't. Ever.
The old man was truly devious and completely played up the kindly grandfather
persona. At least, Bruce knew that. Most people liked Alfred, but that was just
because they hadn't been forced to be nagged by him since birth. Twenty years
of Alfred-nagging and all those supporters and fans of the man would recognize
the validity of Bruce's claims. . .
 
Bruce was startled out of his anti-Alfred thoughts by a distinctly amused-
sounding cough to his left. When he cocked his head over, he saw Lex smirking
at him with a raised eyebrow. Damned smug bastard, Bruce thought, ruefully.
 
"What are you looking so pleased about, Luthor?" he growled. But instead of
quaking in fear, Lex's smirk grew into a toothy smile.
 
"You are so transparent, Wayne," he replied. "I love Alfred." As they reached
the stairs, he and Lex in front, Lex leaned in close and whispered in his ear,
"If only he were forty years younger and queer, who knows?" Then he moved ahead
and started taking the steps by twos, head turned back to show off his evil
grin.
 
See if Bruce was going to share his room with him after that comment.
 
Sighing to himself, he accepted the fact that, yes, most likely he would end up
sharing his room with Lex. Somehow he just wormed his way into everything.
Looking up, he watched as Lex tripped on one of the rugs at the top of the
stairs, stumbling gracelessly. Bruce made sure to laugh loudly and was rewarded
with that feline death-glare he loved so much. Christ, how he'd missed that
look when he was training. No Lex. No Alfred nagging at him. No hot water or
decent food. Bruce was lucky to have even made it out alive, and thinking of
all the things that wouldn't be if he weren't here in this city right now. . .
terrified him. What if he'd never gotten out of that prison?
 
Where would Lex and his brothers be?
 
Where would Colin be?
 
He stole a glance behind him as he turned the corner, searching out Colin, and
was again startled at how much he'd changed since Bruce had last seen him.
 
Both Colin and Julian had accompanied Lionel to Lex's graduation from the
Academy a few years back, and Bruce had been seated at their table for the
reception dinner. Now that had been awkward.
 
Lex had insisted on sitting next to Bruce, with Julian on his other side, and
Colin had immediately taken the other seat next to Bruce. Kyler Hanson and his
parents had already been seated, so the only spot left for Lionel had been
between Mrs. Hanson and Julian. And he hadn't looked pleased.
 
Through the whole dinner, Lionel had chatted with the Hansons while Bruce, Lex,
and Kyler told tales of their schooldays to Julian.
 
Colin didn't say one word the entire time Bruce was there that day. But he did
eat, a lot in fact. Bruce remembered how surprising he'd found that, that Colin
cleared everything on his plate. But then he'd looked over and found Lionel's
plate completely empty as well, and something had clicked in his mind. Colin
had timed his eating to match Lionel's, and that was disturbing. Not in a
traditional sense, of course. It was often the custom at certain high-class
functions to follow the host's example and pace, when eating. But that Colin
had done it here, where Lionel wasn't calling the shots, spoke of habit and of
it being ingrained in him to follow Lionel's lead no matter the circumstance.
And the next leap in logic was to question in what other areas Colin. . .
imitated. . . his "father." Something was rotten in the state of Luthor, and
Bruce had a suspicion about what it was.
 
Bruce had avoided looking at Lionel for the rest of the day.
 
 
***
 
 
Later that same year, when Bruce and Lex were together at Princeton, Lionel
would periodically stop by the apartment unannounced. He'd stay just long
enough to make both of them completely uncomfortable and then abruptly stride
out. Afterward, while Lex immersed himself in his studies as a way of coping
with all the criticism and derogatory comments, Bruce would resume his seat at
the window. It overlooked a small garden their downstairs neighbor kept up, and
always his thoughts drifted from things back in Gotham, to Lex and his family,
and then finally he would come to. . . Colin.
 
Bruce remembered that time in his life extremely clearly. He'd been floundering
in college, constantly looking on as Lex flourished and excelled and passed him
by. Alfred had sent him the information about. . . Chill's hearing. . . and all
Bruce could see was his mother's necklace breaking and scattering across the
concrete. Every sound was the whisper of his father's last breath.
 
In those days, all Bruce felt was pain and shame. . . and that naturally led
him to think of Colin.
 
Bruce couldn't remember what day it was exactly when Julian called the
apartment, frantically crying for Lex. And later when Lex had told him what had
made Julian so upset, Bruce recalled feeling a strange kinship with Colin,
almost as strong as the one he had with Lex.
 
How many times had Bruce thought of just. . . ending it all? The Last Wayne: it
had a nice ring to it.
 
But he never did. Never even attempted it. But Colin had, and had very nearly
succeeded too, from the sound of it. Christ, 12 years old, and something had
driven him to suicide. Bruce knew what. He did. He couldn't fool himself, even
if he was apparently fooling Lex. It was just another mark on his cowardly and
weak soul that he said nothing. He was already going to Hell, had been doomed
for almost ten years now. When he got there, he'd just make sure Lionel was
burning too.
 
 
***
 
 
Lex went straight to the room he'd used all those years ago before, when he'd
stayed here on break. Julian picked the guestroom next to Lex's, and Bruce
dumped off the boy's suitcase before following Colin into the one directly
across the hall. Colin walked over to the bed and stopped, then just stood
there staring at the blue coverlet. Bruce wondered if he should say something.
 
"What's going to happen tomorrow?" Colin asked quietly, eyes never leaving the
bed.
 
"Alfred's set up a tutor for you and Julian. Then in the afternoon, a friend of
mine, a lawyer by the name of Nicholas Fallin, will come over and help. His
father is an old buddy of Rick Jameson's, so that's another mark in his favor."
Bruce finally just set Colin's bag on a chair and then went back to lingering
in the doorway. Colin still hadn't moved. "Nick's a good guy. Young, too, for
the position he holds at the firm, but he's pretty decent. For a lawyer." The
joke fell flat, and Bruce wasn't surprised.
 
"Lin?" a voice called. And just a second later, Julian pushed by Bruce and
walked slowly over to stand beside Colin. He gently laid a hand on Colin's arm,
and even in the darkness of the room Bruce could make out the concern written
on Julian's face. Feeling like an intruder, Bruce quietly withdrew and went in
search of Lex.
 
"Hey," he said, as he entered 'Lex's room.' He'd made sure that Alfred knew not
to change anything in here and was glad to see that, with Lex in it again, it
brought back memories of last time.
 
Lex looked up from his unpacking, and smiled briefly.
 
"It looks exactly the same! I had expected it to be a different color or
something, but. . ." Lex trailed off, and suddenly just threw the shirts he'd
been holding across the room. Bringing his hands up to grip his head, Lex
sighed heavily. "God, Bruce, everything's such a mess." Lex dropped his arms
and spun around to sit heavily on the bed. He looked over at Bruce with a
pleading expression, and Bruce knew Lex had no idea how wrecked he looked.
 
Approaching the bed, Bruce said, "Yes, it is a mess." At which point, Lex
snorted and lowered his head into his hands. Bruce reached forward and pulled
on one of Lex's wrists, causing him to look up. "But you're not alone. You know
you're not. And now, neither is Colin. Lex," he said as his hand slithered its
way from Lex's wrist up to cup his jaw, "we will make it better. Together we
can do anything, right?" Bending his head in order to catch Lex's eyes, Bruce
repeated, "Right? Remember when you said that to me? It's still true. And
Jameson and Nick are no slouches, either." Lex gave a tear-soaked chuckle at
that, and Bruce watched as twin tears coursed down his cheeks, the left falling
off his chin, while the one on the right encountered Bruce's hand.
 
"Yeah, Nicholas Fallin, huh?" Lex gave a sniffle and went to wipe his nose with
the back of his left hand, a move Bruce found too endearing for words. "Whoever
thought he'd become respectable?"
 
"Oh, he's still a black sheep, don't worry. Make sure to ask him how he got all
that experience with representing children. He'll love you for that." Bruce
reached down, and with both hands gripping Lex's arms, pulled him to his feet.
There was hardly any space between them, as Bruce hadn't moved back to make
room for Lex to stand. He'd done it deliberately.
 
They were practically hugging each other, and Bruce found himself reluctant to
go downstairs, or to go anywhere, in. He wanted to stay here with Lex and
forget the world existed, forget about everything but them and how they'd
always made things work.
 
But he couldn't. He couldn't abandon anything anymore. . . Neither of them
could. Colin and Julian needed Lex so desperately now. And they needed Bruce,
too.
 
And in the distance, Bruce thought he could hear Gotham itself cry out in
agony.
 
In the distance, the sound of bats drew closer and closer each day.
 
Soon, he'd have to step up and give the city its justice. First, though, first
he had to save those dearest to him, and send Lionel Luthor to Hell.
 
 
***
 
 
Lex slept with Bruce that night. They didn't even have sex, just lay together
on the bed all night long. Sometime after two, Lex drifted off but he knew
better than to assume Bruce had gotten any sleep. Lex was a restless sleeper,
always had been. He'd start out lying on his back, but soon end up on his right
side, then his left. And in the mornings, he always woke up on his stomach with
his legs tangled in the sheets and his arms spread wide, as though he were
reaching for something in his sleep. Bruce, however, consistently remained on
his back the whole night through. And so when they had previously shared a bed,
Lex would wake up lying half on Bruce's chest, his arms wrapped around the
other man, and Bruce's right hand on Lex's lower back.
 
Today, though, Lex woke up in Bruce's bed alone. Raising himself to his elbows,
he looked behind him when he heard a jingling, tinkling sound. Bruce was
finishing dressing, and as he buckled his belt, leaned down to kiss Lex on the
lips.
 
"Hey," was all he said, his voice low and rough. Lex flipped over onto his back
and raised his arms above his head in a well-timed stretch. He didn't miss
Bruce unconsciously licking his lips as he watched, and Lex brought his hands
back down to lie on his chest.
 
"Hey, yourself. You always get up so early," he complained. "It's a horrible
trait in an irresponsible billionaire, you know. Makes you look interested in
something." Raising his eyebrows in mock chiding, Lex glanced over at the clock
on the other side of the bed. 7 o'clock. In the morning. Christ.
 
"I'm going to go and make sure everything's set up for the tutoring session,"
Bruce said. His expression turned rueful as he said, "Though no doubt Alfred's
taken over it all." He looked fondly at Lex. "I can't leave anything lying
around without him butting in."
 
"Oh, you're such a faker," Lex replied, chuckling. "You love every minute of
his interference." He sniffed in disdain. "You know you can't fool me. I've
known you too long."
 
Bruce's gaze turned thoughtful as he reached down to lightly touch Lex's cheek.
"That you have. Whenever you're ready, a feast will no doubt be waiting for
you."
 
And with that, he was striding across the bedroom and out the door, closing it
softly behind himself. Lex sighed and looked around before forcing himself to
get out of bed. Today, no matter how wonderful it started out, would not be
pleasant. Today, Nick Fallin was coming over and all the details regarding
Lex's temporary guardianship of Lin and Lian would be hashed out. And then they
would discuss how things would proceed from here.
 
Lex trekked into the master bath and showered. As he got dressed afterward, he
guiltily wondered how Lin's night had gone. Probably another sleepless one, and
he should make Lin and Bruce stay up together. Maybe it'd help them both
somehow.
 
He descended the stairs and took a left into the kitchen. Upon entering, Lex
saw Bruce and Alfred standing near the refrigerator talking in low tones.
Julian and Lin were seated at the small table off to the side, Julian eating a
bowl of sugar and Lin drawing something intently. Lex was just happy to see
Colin back to drawing. It was something he'd done for almost as long as Lex had
known him, and he didn't want to think on what it had meant for Lin to destroy
all those drawings of his back at the house. All those brilliant pieces of art.
It made Lex feel incredibly sad. And worried.
 
He walked over to the table and took a seat, pouring himself a cup of coffee
from the carafe in the middle. Curling his hands around the heat of it, Lex
tried to sneak a peek at what Lin was drawing, but couldn't make out anything
other than dark concentrated lines and heavy shading. He looked up and saw Lian
smiling at him.
 
"It's this house," Lian said with nod of his head towards Colin's sketch. "It's
so big! I can understand why Lin's so interested in it. Especially appropriate
for where it is, right, Lex?"
 
Lex laughed and nodded as he took a sip of his drink. "Sure is. Gothic style
manor just outside of Gotham? I don't think it gets any more appropriate than
that." He paused, then said, "In architecture." And got the expected giggle
from Lian. God, the kid was easy to make laugh.
 
But Lex found himself chuckling, too, as he glanced over at Bruce and Alfred
again. Evidently the two of them had finished whatever discussion they'd been
having, for Alfred moved away and started rounding up various empty dishes and
plates and placing them on the counter to be washed. Bruce remained leaning
against the fridge, his eyes on the glass of orange juice in his hands.
Suddenly he looked up, and made eye contact with Lex across the room. From the
expression on Bruce's face, Lex knew that what they had been discussing hadn't
been anything good.
 
A plate being set down in front of him took Lex by surprise and he looked
behind him to see Alfred smiling and gesturing for him to eat. Crepes and
toast. Lex chuckled and returned the old man's smile with a nod. The last time
he'd stayed here, Lex had been amazed at Alfred's cooking skills, and every
breakfast asked for crepes. Evidently it hadn't been forgotten.
 
Bruce walked over to the table and sat down beside Lex, his glass of juice
still full. Lex noticed Alfred didn't attempt to get Bruce to eat anything, and
thought it just as well. Whatever food was placed in front of Bruce that Bruce
didn't want would inevitably receive a blank expression and go to waste. The
man was incredibly stubborn.
 
"This is an amazing house, Bruce," Lian said. "I think I'll have to stick to
the front rooms, though, and not go exploring. I'd get lost for sure!"
 
Lex coughed into his coffee and hastily avoided Bruce's knowing eyes.
 
"Well, you'd do no worse than Lex here," Bruce-the-ever-annoying said lightly.
"I'd wager that he got lost within the first hour of stepping through the front
doors. It took us about half an hour to find him." He leaned forward towards
Lian, setting his glass on the table and adopting a wistful tone. "He was over
in the northeast wing, on the fourth floor. In the hallway. Turning around and
looking soooo confused." Bruce gave Lex an affectionate look, and Lex wanted to
smother him in his sleep. . . if the man ever slept!
 
Lian laughed and Bruce smirked, and damned if Lex didn't feel the corners of
his mouth turning up, too. "Well, it's a big damn house! And don't tell me
Alfred never had to hunt you down when you were a kid. I bet you got lost once
or twice, too." And Bruce's smirk remained just as annoying as ever.
 
"Actually," came Alfred's voice, "I do believe Master Bruce most often found
himself gone astray in the gardens. Several times I recall having been part of
a search party for him."
 
Lex and Lian laughed, and he swore he heard Bruce literally huff. Alfred gave a
brief smile, but before he could turn away, Lin's quiet voice caught their
attentions.
 
"There are a lot of bats here, aren't there?" Lin asked, continuing to work on
his drawing. Confused, Lex looked over to Bruce and then Alfred.
 
"Yes, I do believe there are, Master Colin," Alfred replied soberly. "They were
here long before I was, and I quite think they shall stay even after I am
gone."
 
Both Alfred and Bruce looked uneasy, and Lex wasn't sure why. Bats? How would--
 
"How did you know there were bats, Lin?" Lex asked his brother's lowered head.
Lin still hadn't looked up, and his hair had fallen in front of his face in
such a way that it was hard to make anything out.
 
"There was one in my room last night. I opened the window and he went back out
into the night." He looked up at Bruce and asked, "Was that the right thing to
do? I'd never seen one before." Lin again lowered his head, but twisted and
tucked his hair behind his neck as he did so. "They're quite strange looking,
aren't they, Bruce?"
 
And then Lin went back to drawing, as if he hadn't said anything at all,
leaving all of them stunned and most of them confused. Well, Lex was confused
and he guessed Lian was, as well. Bruce had his calm and cool mask on and
Alfred looked worried and a touch. . . angry. Lex blinked and looked again, and
the trace of anger was gone as if he'd only imagined it.
 
"Yes, I suppose they are." Bruce's voice sounded thoughtful, and Lex made a
mental note to later ask what that had been about.
 
The four of them spent a while longer eating, relaxing and drawing around the
table, Alfred leaving the room and then returning a few minutes later. When he
did, he came over to the table and leaned down to quietly tell Bruce something.
Bruce nodded and looked over at Lian and Colin.
 
"I've arranged a tutor for you two. Just temporarily, but she's just now
arrived." Bruce stood and appeared to be waiting for Julian and Lin to follow
him. Lex felt he should meet this Bruce-approved tutor, and got to his feet.
Bruce merely gave him a glance before turning back to look at Lin. Julian had
pushed his chair back, but remained sitting as he watched Colin lean in close
and make a slight move of his hand. Watching Lian's face, Lex saw him frown and
wondered what it was exactly that Lin was doing. They didn't have to wait long,
for no sooner had Lex thought this than Lin twirled his pencil deftly into the
spiral of the sketch pad, and stood up. Julian rushed to his feet next, as
Bruce turned around to head out of the kitchen. And the three of them followed
him like little ducklings through the enormous house.
 
Bruce had set them up to study in the library, and Lex was at first struck dumb
by how bright it was inside. It was surely the brightest room in the whole
gloomy manor, and he felt a sense of approval that his brothers would be
learning in such an environment. Better than a typical classroom and far more
appropriate. He caught sight of someone out of the corner of his eye and turned
his head. A middle-aged woman was standing before a table full of books, hands
brought together in front of her, and Lex would bet just about anything she had
a British accent. She just looked so. . . proper and educated. But she had a
kind face, too. Her hair was short and light, and the clothes she wore spoke
more of practicality and comfort than of any desire to appear dignified.
 
So far, so good.
 
"May I introduce Liza Olexi," Bruce said. Gesturing to Lex, Lin and Julian,
Bruce then turned to Liza and said, "Liza, this is Lex, Colin, and young Julian
Luthor." Bruce smirked at Lian, and the kid looked like he wanted to stick his
tongue out in retaliation. Instead, Lian settled for a brief glare in Bruce's
direction, then ducked his head, but not before Lex caught the twitching of his
lips. Julian could never keep a straight face.
 
"Thank you, Bruce." Liza said. "It's so nice to see all those etiquette lessons
didn't go to waste."
 
Lex had been right. British.
 
He looked to Bruce, and the other man clarified. "Liza was one of my tutors
when I was young. I'll always remember the time she took me to the city zoo and
we watched the elephants for a whole afternoon." Turning back to her, Bruce
asked, "What exactly was the point of that trip? I can't think it was just to
return me covered in cotton candy."
 
Liza chuckled and said, "Oh, I'm sure you recall your father's regular
discussions on politics. He once called Republicans "dirty elephants" within
your hearing, and you insisted you must verify that elephants were indeed
dirty. Upon seeing them, you asked me why your father seemed to dislike
elephants so, and I bowed out and suggested you ask him." She again chuckled
and shook her head with a sigh. "You were such a funny little boy," she said,
with a fond look on her face.
 
Bruce, on the other hand, looked about as uncomfortable as Lex had ever seen
him. Well, that answered that question. She'd been Bruce's own tutor from
before his parents' deaths, and a very well-liked one, at that. No wonder she
was his first choice for teaching Lin and Lian. Lex liked her already.
 
"Well," Liza exclaimed, "I can't believe either of you gentlemen in need of any
assistance from me with those lofty educations of yours. So Colin, Julian, with
your approval I think I'll shoo them out now." She looked between the two of
them, and upon receiving a nod from Lian, waved her arms theatrically towards
Bruce and Lex. "Be gone now, you! The three of us have learning to do!" When
they reached the door, she winked at them before shutting it in their faces.
 
Bruce still had a strange look on his face when Lex looked over at him. "Yeah,"
Lex began, "she'll be good for them." He patted Bruce on the back and slung his
arm around the other man's shoulders as they began to walk back down the hall.
 
 
***
 
 
It appeared Liza Olexi was to be more of a tutor/nanny. Bruce had said she was
going to be staying over in the east wing, over where Alfred and the other
staff had their rooms. It worked for Lex, anyway. Julian was eight-going-on-
nine years old, and Lex himself had had a nanny until he was 13. Plus, if Liza
staying in the manor meant one more person looking out and caring for Colin,
then Lex had nothing even close to resembling a problem with it. He was damn
glad, in fact. Because Liza? Was awesome. He only wished Lian and Lin had had
her with them years ago.
 
Liza had come down to the kitchen around noon and declared that she and "the
boys" were going to have lunch upstairs in order to "get to know each other
better." He and Bruce had shared a look, and then Lex smiled back at her and
asked how things were going. Liza's lips quirked a little.
 
"Oh, Julian is such a dear boy," Liza said, as she arranged the food on the
tray. Then her expression turned sad. "But Colin-- " She looked at Lex and
Bruce and said, "You didn't give me much information to go on, Bruce, but I
know certain things when I see them. And the fact that you three are here at
all," she continued, pointedly looking at Lex only, "speaks of some family
tragedy." She set down the plates she had in her hands, and sighed as she came
over to take a seat across from them.
 
"I hate to say this about anyone, let alone a boy as obviously intelligent and
talented as Colin, but. . . " She hesitated and glanced down at her hands. "But
I highly recommend you take him to a doctor." She looked up at Lex again. "He
spoke to me. I understand from Julian's reaction that this was quite unusual,
but it's not that which troubles me most." Liza licked her lips and took a deep
breath, before continuing. "Colin allowed me to look at his drawings, and-- and
what I saw scared me. Some of them are so imaginative and beautiful." Her hands
became more animated and Liza looked almost happy and certainly excited as she
described Lin's drawings.
 
"There was one I remember quite well," she said, smiling. "Colin had drawn an
ark of sorts. It was enormous, took up the whole page, and so detailed! On each
plank of wood was drawn, as though etched and carved into the wood itself, all
sorts of animals and mythical creatures." Liza looked between the two of them.
"All of his drawings of nature and animals are like that one. All of them
simply filled with light and hope and happiness. But the other drawings. . .
Colin has several drawings of himself and of his. . . father." She made eye
contact with Lex, holding him in her focus. "Your father. Only-- only he was
depicted as no father should be.
 
"Alexander," she said, and then her expression softened a bit. "Lex. I don't
need to know the specifics of what happened. I just need you to get him some
help, some real help. Take him to a 'shrink.'" Here she looked over at Bruce
and her lips briefly twitched. "He needs to talk to someone, or else I'm very
afraid that he will. . . do something to himself. Do you know what I mean,
Lex?"
 
And Lex felt how wide his eyes were and knew he looked afraid, but didn't feel
any guilt or weakness in showing it at that moment. He swallowed and looked
into Liza Olexi's eyes and said, "Yes, Liza, I do." He couldn't maintain the
eye contact any longer, though, and reached out to play with his water glass.
"It's a very real worry, as far as Lin is concerned. He's tried to kill himself
before. When he was 12." Lex glanced up to see her horrified expression, and
his eyes went back to the glass in his hands. "I appreciate you telling me
this, and I promise that Colin will get some help."
 
Liza nodded, and stood up to walk back over to the counter. She gave Lex and
Bruce a small smile a few minutes later when she left with the tray of food,
presumably on her way back upstairs to eat with Julian and Lin.
 
Bruce looked over at him and Lex turned and asked, "What?"
 
"I talked with Nick yesterday," he replied. "Part of you getting custody of
Julian and Colin requires both of them to undergo a psychological evaluation."
Bruce reached out to pull the glass of water away from Lex's fidgeting hands,
and gripped both of them in between his own. Warm hands. Bruce's ever-calm face
looked at him and Lex felt able to breathe properly for the first time since
Liza had talked to them. "Nick also said he knew someone who would do it, and
that he and the caseworker from Family Services were on good terms." His eyes
focused on Lex's and he gave him a reassuring look. "Lex, your brothers are
going to be okay. We'll get Colin into some counseling, and you custody of
them, and Jameson will notify the Metropolis DA's office about. . . what Lionel
has done. And he will go away for a very long time. We'll get justice against
him. Right?" Lex nodded mechanically, gripping Bruce's hard.
 
"God, Bruce, I hope so."
 
 
***
 
 
At a quarter to two in the afternoon, Lex went back up to the library to get
his brothers. Nick Fallin would be arriving at the hour, and both Julian and
Colin should be there to meet with him. Lex was sure that they needed to know
what was going to happen, and Colin -- Lex could feel his breath stick in his
throat, and coughed -- Colin was going to have to talk about some of what had
happened. Nick needed to know what he was dealing with, and Lin should deal
with it somehow. Maybe sharing some of it would help.
 
Knocking on the door, Lex waited a beat and then opened it, leaning his head
inside. Julian and Liza were sitting next to each other, heads close together
and smiles on their faces. Looking for Lin, Lex blinked when he saw his
brother's legs, the rest of him hidden behind a large easel. Lex cleared his
throat again and stepped inside.
 
"I'm sorry to disturb the learning, but I need Colin and Julian to come down."
Meeting Liza's eyes, Lex said almost apologetically, "Nick Fallin is due to
arrive soon, and they need to be there."
 
Liza nodded to him and then patted Lian on the back. She stood up and went over
to the easel. Stepping behind it, Lex could hear the quiet tones of her voice,
but couldn't make out what she was saying to Lin. Soon, though, she and Lin
came back into sight. She remained hovering near the easel, while Lin and Lian
began walking towards Lex. He stood back from the doorway, allowing them to
pass through first, and then giving Liza a last look, followed them down the
hall.
 
They had decided to meet in Bruce's office and so Lex overtook his brothers on
the stairs, leading them into the room once they'd reached the first floor.
 
Inside, Bruce sat behind the massive oak desk, spinning a pen around with his
right hand. Upon seeing the three of them enter the room, he sat up quickly,
stopping the pen and gesturing for them to sit over by the window. Evidently
Alfred had brought in some more chairs and arranged them into two rows facing
each other. Five chairs. Lex sighed, and mentally thanked Alfred for putting
them in the sunshine at least. This would be hard enough without Lin having to
be in the full gloom of Wayne manor.
 
Lin sat in the chair closest to the window, and Lian promptly took a seat next
to him. Lex knew the three of them should stick together, no matter what the
setting or context of the situation, and so he pulled a chair from the other
row more towards Lian. The result was a sort of 'C' shaped sitting area, with
Colin and Lian at the top, Lex in the middle and Bruce and Nick's chairs
parallel to Lin and Lian at the bottom. Bruce came over from the desk and eased
into the chair directly opposite Lin's, leaving a chair open between himself
and Lex for Nick.
 
They waited a few minutes in silence until three minutes after two, when there
was a knock at the door.
 
"Come in," Bruce called.
 
The door opened, and Alfred stood back as Nick Fallin entered the room.
 
"Mr. Nicholas Fallin, sir," Alfred announced.
 
"Thank you, Alfred. That will be all for now." Alfred withdrew, closing the
door quietly behind him. As Bruce stood up to greet Nick, Lex took the
opportunity to look the other man over. Nicholas Fallin was the son of a
prominent corporate lawyer, and had graduated Excelsior Academy, class of 1991.
He'd also attended and graduated from Princeton with his law degree and, as
Bruce had informed him, was currently a partner at Fallin & Fallin. Lex smiled
to himself, and thanked nepotism for the first time in his life. Given Nick's
high placement at the firm, the lawyer would have greater access and contacts
than if he'd been just another associate at his father's law practice.
 
To say that Nick had been infamous back in the day was putting it mildly. They
still told stories of his "parties" at Excelsior. His mother had come from old
money, and she and Lillian had once been good friends. When Anne Wells divorced
Burton Fallin in 1983, ten-year-old Nicholas went to live with her in
Pittsburgh, PA. Leaving Burton back in Gotham. Anne had always been well-
connected and was a part of Lex's parents' social circle. But Nick was seven
years older than Lex, and all that wasn't what had really made them aware of
each other.
 
What had made Lex so interested in Nick was the fact that Anne died from cancer
in 1985. Nick had been 12-years-old. Shortly after her death, Burton was
granted custody of Nicholas and from then on until just last year, Nick
remained away from his father -- first in boarding schools, then college, then
a job at a New York firm. Nick and Lex shared a lot in common, and every once
in awhile they would see one another at some fundraiser, or big holiday party.
Lex was sure Nick knew just as much about him as he did about Nick, and so they
never really had to smile and chatter at each other and make polite small talk.
On the few occasions when the two of them talked, they interacted in a way that
reminded him of how he and Bruce were, calm and simply enjoying the company.
 
Nick was a good guy at heart, but he'd had serious problems with cocaine, and
in his personal life had the absolute worst luck of anyone Lex had ever known.
 
Lex stood up and offered his hand. "Nick Fallin," he said, smiling. "I hear
you've been a bad boy again."
 
Nick's bright grin turned sharp and he chuckled. "Well, Lex, you know what they
say. You can always tell a junkie's lying if his lips are moving. I've found
the same to be true for lawyers, as well."
 
Lex laughed and shook his head. "It's good to see you doing so well, though.
You and your father getting along, then?"
 
Lex knew his mistake as soon as he'd asked, but still wasn't quite prepared for
how quickly Nick's face closed down. "Yeah, things are good," Nick said, but
Lex knew a sore spot when he saw one, and wisely dropped it.
 
Turning to half-face Lian and Lin, Lex gestured for them to stand and
introduced them to Nick. "Julian, Colin, this is Nicholas Fallin. Nick, my
brothers Julian and Colin." Nick shook Julian's hand with a smile, but as Colin
only nodded at him, merely returned the nod and sat down. They all took their
seats and waited while Nick reached into his briefcase to get out a legal pad
and a pen. He brought his right leg up to rest on his left, and looked first at
Lex.
 
"Bruce led me to understand that you're seeking guardianship of your brothers.
That true?"
 
Lex nodded, but didn't say anything.
 
"Well, I've already called for the psych evals at Dr. Cassiday's office, and
Family Services will need to meet with you sometime this week. . . to get an
idea of how you're suited for the task." Nick maintained eye contact with him
and Lex found himself reevaluating the man's talent. Perhaps he'd
underestimated how deserving Nick was of that partnership position because
right now he seemed completely in control and on the ball.
 
"Now, I've been in touch with Rick Jameson back in Metropolis, and he's going
to notify the DA today of suspected criminal activity on the part of one Lionel
Luthor. Tomorrow," here Nick turned to address Colin and Lian, "you'll both go
in for psychological evaluation, and if you're up to it, perhaps depositions."
Turning back to Lex, and looking between him and Bruce, he said, "That is, I'm
assuming you want Colin and Julian to stay here. Am I correct?"
 
"Yes," Lex responded. "Bruce is a longtime friend, and he and Alfred -- and
Lian and Lin's new tutor, Liza -- are going to help us. That's going to work,
right?"
 
"Yeah, there's no problem with that," Nick said, writing something down. "The
Waynes have a sterling reputation, and the fact that you've got them a tutor
speaks highly in your favor." He looked up at Lex. "I don't foresee any
problems with you getting temporary custody of your brothers, Lex. That's not
what I'm asking. You're going to have to go back to Metropolis and appear
before the judge asking for custody, though. That's non-negotiable. My question
is, do you want Colin and Julian to remain here in Gotham? In which case we can
most likely get by on the depositions. Or. . . do you want them to come to the
hearing?"
 
Nick brought his leg back down to the floor, and leaned forward, "I've gotta
tell ya, Lex. I highly recommend letting them stay here." He took a deep breath
and glanced over at Bruce before looking back at Lex. "Lionel is a powerful
man, and considering what Bruce and Rick have told me. . . taking them back
there is just asking for him to do something."
 
Nick leaned back in the chair, his leg coming up again to rest on his left. His
right hand reached up to his face, and Nick rubbed wearily at his eyes. "I
remember the first time Burton introduced me to Lionel. I'd been talked into
coming back for the New Year's party at Luthorcorp, and your father shook my
hand and patted me on the arm, grinning the whole time. He talked mostly
business with my father, but at one point he turned and, just completely out of
the blue, said to me, 'You know, Nicholas, my son is attending Excelsior now. I
know how much you liked it there, and I hope he does just as much.'"
 
Nick raised his head and looked over to Bruce. "You both know Excelsior." He
turned to Colin, trying to make the boy look at him. After a moment, Lin did
look up and stared blankly right back at him, but Nick didn't seem at all
bothered by it. "And I understand that you went there for awhile, too. I got
into a lot of things at that so-called school that have haunted and chased
after me ever since. And by saying it the way he did, Lionel essentially told
me that he knew all that."
 
He looked at Lex again. "He was saying that he wanted you to suffer. Everyone
in that circle knows what I did at school and what's happened since. Everyone
knows everything in that crowd, and your father was telling me he hoped his own
son did the same things I had done. That's when I realized how crazy he is, and
if I can help you, in any way, I will, Lex."
 
Nick was a good man, and Lex could tell when someone was lying to him. And like
Chance, he knew Nick was trustworthy. Another friend, maybe? Certainly a
powerful ally and a damn good lawyer. Lex didn't feel so helpless or hopeless
anymore. They weren't alone in this, he, Lin, and Lian. They had people who
were helping them, and who seemed to want justice just as much as they did.
 
 
***
 
 
After another few minutes of Nick bringing them up to speed on procedure and
how things would most likely play out, the air in the room began to shift. Nick
looked pointedly at Lex and then glanced at Colin. Lex took a deep breath and
tried to somehow mentally prepare himself for what must come next.
 
He turned to Julian and said, "Why don't you go see what Liza's doing, Lian."
 
To which Julian frowned, but nonetheless stood up and almost stomped out of the
room.
 
Nick turned to Colin and leaned forward, resting his arms on his legs. "Colin,
I have to ask you some questions now about what happened between you and
Lionel. Either tomorrow or Wednesday, you're going to need to tell all that you
can about what Lionel's done, and I need to have an idea of what to ask you so
we can prepare."
 
Nick took another deep breath. "I'll tell you right now that I have no idea
what this has been like for you or your brothers. I've worked and represented a
lot of children in the past three years, a lot of horrible cases, but I don't
pretend to think that that makes me able to identify with you. None of us here
can." He waited until Colin looked up at him before continuing. "But the truth
is that we can't help you either, unless you tell us some of what happened. I
know you can't say everything. But-- but I need you to decide what's important
and for you to tell us. It's your testimony that will put Lionel in prison,
Colin. It's a low blow, but if you don't testify, if you don't tell me so that
I can help you, chances are you and Julian will go back into Lionel's custody.
. . and I know you don't want that."
 
Speech over, Nick remained sitting forward in his chair with his eyes only on
Colin and a sad expression on his face. Lex held his breath until Colin began
to speak.
 
Quietly and haltingly, Lin laid out a timeline of events that had Lex wanting
to rush to the bathroom.
 
Colin had been at the Centre for over a year before Lionel brought him to the
house when he was four. The sex had begun when Colin was ten years old, and had
continued until last week when Lex had checked all three of them into the hotel
room. In order to keep him silent, Lionel had threatened Lin's life, and when
that had stopped working, he'd made noise about hurting Lex and Julian.
 
Colin didn't talk about what went on at the Centre. He said Lionel had pictures
of him, naked, in his desk at Luthorcorp. He said that every time someone
showed even an interest in him, Lionel made sure they went away. He said that
the only reason he'd been allowed to go to Excelsior was that he'd promised to
do whatever Lionel wanted him to when he got back at Winter Break. Lin said
he'd tried to kill himself nine times, the most recent being last month.
 
After Colin had stopped talking, just sat staring out the window, Lex, Bruce,
and Nick stood and shook hands. Lex had to wipe his face, and Nick had to clear
his throat, and no one mentioned either. Before walking to the door, Nick
crouched in front of Colin and waited until the boy looked at him. Nick held
out his hand, and after a moment Lin reached out and shook it. Lex saw a tear
glide down Nick's face, and Lin said, "Thank you, Nick." And Nick gave a sad
smile and stood up. He nodded at Lex and Bruce, and then was gone.
 
Lex turned to Bruce, and when he saw the other man's pained expression knew he
had been right to send Julian away. Later, Lian would be told. Later, he and
Lin would tell him. But today, Nick had needed to know, and Lex knew the
telling for them alone would be much different.
 
And much more horrifying.
 
 
***
 
 
Interlude
 
 
Five days, no sleep.
 
But he was starting to get sloppy, and soon the dreams would return.
 
Surreal, that's what the week had been. For as far back as he could remember,
being awake meant being afraid. Now he was terrified to sleep.
 
Nick Fallin had come to pick them up yesterday. They'd gone to see a
psychiatrist on Tuesday, and it wasn't until Friday that they had to go in for
the interviews with Social Services. And Lin'd had to talk to someone from the
Metropolis DA's office about Lionel.
 
He'd been videotaped both times, and later Lian said he had too. The questions
were. . . invasive. And before his statement against Lionel, one of his
father's lawyers had tried to threaten him in the hallway. Lin had felt kinda
bad for the guy. Being sent all this way with the express purpose of making Lin
change his position, the guy now had to go back and tell Lionel he'd failed.
Lin knew they probably wouldn't be seeing that lawyer again. Lionel didn't
respond well to failure.
 
Colin hadn't told either Family Services or the lady from the District
Attorney's office everything. Of course. If he did. . . well, he'd be put into
a mental asylum (one of Lionel's, no doubt) and Lian would be back in
Metropolis. . . alone with their father.
 
So he only told them about the sex and the control, and not even all of that,
either. He pretended to not remember everything, like a human. He pretended and
lied and wasn't surprised by how easy and natural it felt. He just called up
Lian's face for motivation, and then thought of how Lionel lied. Lionel was the
best liar Colin had ever seen, and he did it by infusing each falsehood with
just enough truth to not contradict himself in later retellings. So, Colin
forced himself to speak and lied with almost every sentence. But they were
mostly lies of omission, so he didn't feel all that guilty.
 
No one would be hurt by him withholding some information. Lionel would still be
indicted, and Lian and Lex would be still be safe.
 
Even if he did choke up and stumble over his words a few times, it wasn't any
big deal in the scheme of things. No one wanted to hear the details of how that
knife had felt sliding through his spinal cord, or what his own blood tasted
like.
 
Lex wasn't a very thorough packer. He'd never thought to check Lin's coat
pocket and now the damn cell phone wouldn't stop ringing. Lin had turned the
sound off, but somehow he couldn't make himself just power the thing down. Or
smash it into powder.
 
He'd probably been trained too well. 'Always answer, Colin. I won't tolerate
disobedience, not in you.'
 
It was Saturday afternoon. Yesterday had been the statement. Poor Nick had
looked even more freaked out then than he had during the first telling.
Evidently, the doctor from yesterday wanted to put Lin on drugs right away,
said he needed immediate help, told Nick they should admit him to the psych
ward in the hospital -- under suicide watch. Colin secretly agreed with the
guy, but he would kill before he allowed anyone to lock him up again.
 
Lionel was calling. The light on the phone was on, and the display read
'Answer, Lin.' Bastard had put that on there special, just for him.
 
But he wouldn't pick up. Lionel must have gotten word of what was going on, and
wanted to sink his teeth back into them, but Lin wasn't going to play along. He
wasn't.
 
When the psychiatrist had asked him how he felt about himself, he had to think
about it. If he told him the truth, they'd try for the hospital. And if Lin
attempted to lie, he wasn't sure how well he could pull it off. There was no
amount of truth he could put into saying something other than that he disgusted
himself.
 
He really should just throw the damn phone out the window, but instead his
finger hit the 'Send' button, and he heard Lionel's breathing. How many times
had Lin felt that man's breath on him? How many more would he? Somewhere deep
inside, Lin knew this was only temporary. Lionel would never really let any of
them escape. Soon he'd be back in that chamber, and Lex and Lian would be
Lionel's devoted servants and all Lin would be able to think about was how it
had felt to be dead.
 
"Well, I see all that time spent on you wasn't a waste, after all. Do I really
have to spell out what you are going to do, Lin? Or are you smart enough to
figure it out for yourself?"
 
He tried thinking of Liza's smile when he'd shown her the finished painting of
her and Lian. Lex's laugh the other day when Lian had made antlers with his
hands while standing behind Bruce's chair. The feeling of waking up in a bed
with no one else in it.
 
The sun on his face as he and Lex and Bruce rode horses yesterday, the wind
blowing flakes of snow at them that stuck to Bruce's eyelashes. Lex's smiles
and his arms and the way he turned his head and looked at Lin when he thought
no one else saw him.
 
Lex and Lian and Bruce.
 
And Lillian.
 
But no matter how hard he tried, every picture in his head melted into Lionel.
Julian had his father's nose and mouth and Lex used the same gestures as Lionel
did when he talked.
 
"I'm not going to come. . . back," he tried to say. But his voice was barely a
whisper, and even he couldn't hear the last part.
 
"Oh, my boy, you are so predictable. Do you think I don't know where you are?
That I don't have someone inside that house right this moment?" Lionel sighed
into the phone. "I don't need to know what you're planning, Lin. You've gone
against me, and now things are going to be most unpleasant for all of us, I'm
afraid.
 
"We'll try this: either you're here in my office within twenty minutes, or I'll
make sure everyone knows what I know. And I do have proof. Enough of it to make
your stay in the tank look like a vacation in the Amalfi Coast. Do it, Lin, or
by the end of it you'll beg me to take you back, if only to stop what they'll
do to you."
 
And with that, Lionel hung up and he was left in his room in Bruce's house with
the itchy feeling. He knew this feeling like he knew Lex's face, and it was a
comforting one now. It came upon him quick and beautifully, and its tongue
reminded him that he had enough meteorites to do the job this time.
 
He'd hoarded all he could after the last time he'd tried to kill himself, and
it was still in the keepsake box, the false bottom invisible even to Lex.
 
If he swallowed them all, one right after another, then he could probably get
them down before his throat closed up. If he saved one, though. . . he could
use it to cut himself, and then he'd have two ways of dying and no one could
get him to heal the cuts while the meteorites were still in his stomach. He'd
bleed out, and then there'd be no way that Lian would be given back to Lionel.
They'd find the phone and check the last call, and everything would fall into
place. Lex would get Julian permanently, Lionel would be sent to jail, and Lex,
Bruce, and Lian would all live happily together.
 
And Lin wouldn't have to tell them anything about anything. It was a good plan.
 
He got up then, and carefully placed the cell phone on the bed where they'd
find it. He walked to the bedside table and pulled open the second drawer from
the top. Reaching inside, his hands curled around the wooden case and he slid
it out. He opened it and gently, lovingly took out all the important things
Lionel had tried to destroy. Placing them next to the cell phone on the bed, he
then pulled the false bottom out of the box and lifted up the smaller lead
case. Carrying it into the bathroom, he set it down on the counter and looked
at himself in the mirror. Thin and white and big eyes and too much hair. Colin
hated that boy staring back at him so much in that moment that he slid out the
top drawer of the vanity and took up the pair of scissors gleaming and winking
at him.
 
With his hair shorter, he thought he looked more like an alien. It stuck up in
uneven tufts and his head felt so much lighter. Like he was already drifting
away.
 
The plan was a good one, he told himself. And it would've worked--
 
--had Lex decided not to come looking for him.
 
 
***
***** Chapter 3 *****
Still chuckling to himself over the sight of Lian dancing -- Christ, the kid
had looked like some coked-up puppy, wriggling around and grinning -- Lex
knocked on the door to Lin's room. They'd all been downstairs, all but Lin, and
Lex wanted to make sure his brother knew he was welcomed, wanted, to join.
After lunch, Lin had gone back upstairs claiming he was tired and needed a nap.
 
Well, it was four in the afternoon, now, and Lex thought three hours was damn
long for a nap. Time Lin got up, and maybe watching Lian "dance" would cheer
him up.
 
Lex knocked again, but there was still no answer. Usually Colin was such a
light sleeper that he woke up at the slightest noise, if he slept at all, which
Lex was beginning to doubt.
 
A sick feeling of dread crept down Lex's spine. Colin hadn't been sleeping. In
fact, the kid had been actively trying his best not to fall asleep, and Lin was
a fool if he thought they wouldn't notice. True, it was Bruce who pointed it
out to him, but Lex was sure to have spotted sooner or later.
 
But if Lin weren't sleeping now, then what the hell was he doing in his room?
Just some breathing room, maybe? Yeah, Lex thought to himself. That's probably
it. He just wanted some time alone, with only his thoughts. He's probably not
used to being around this many people all the time, and the last week has been
pretty hard on him, and--
 
--and Lex would just take a quick peek inside, say 'Hi,' give the invitation to
come downstairs, and make sure everything was okay, and then he'd. . .
 
Opening the door a little, Lex called, "Lin? You in here?"
 
But again there was no answer. Giving up the pretense of subtlety, he walked
fully into the room and looked around. Lin had managed to put his clothes away,
but the bed was a mess. Lex walked over to it, and as soon as he made out the
keepsake box with all its sacred contents spilled and tangled all over, he knew
something bad was going to happen. Okay, if Lin isn't here. . .
 
He turned his head towards the bathroom when a strange sound reached his ears.
Striding over to the closed door, Lex knocked loudly and quickly, the dread
pumping adrenaline through his whole body.
 
"Lin?" God, his voice shook so much it was nearing shrill. "Lin, you okay?"
 
Lex waited, but when he heard the sound of something being dropped, he gave
into his first instinct and flung the door open.
 
 
***
 
 
Well, Lex was glad for that burst of adrenaline now, otherwise he was sure he
would have passed out and that just wouldn't do.
 
Jesus, Lin. Jesus, what the hell are you doing?!
 
A thousand words and speeches passed through Lex's head at that moment. If he
found just the right turn of phrase, then everything would be okay and Lin
wouldn't--
 
--but all that came out of his mouth was, "What the fuck, Lin?!"
 
Hair was everywhere. The clanking noise had been the scissors hitting the tile
floor, and looking up Lex saw such a stark, terrified look on Lin's face.
 
"What-- what were you doing, Lin?" Moving jerkily closer, Lex raised a hand to
reach out for Lin, but the kid skirted away like some frightened animal. He let
his hand drop back down and looked over at the vanity and sink where Lin's
gorgeous hair was just lying in piles. He'd cut all his hair off. And Lex
flashed back to that day on the rooftop. . . only last week. Lin flinging his
drawings over the edge, all his hard work and patience in creating them just
gone and ruined--
 
Lex looked at Lin again, crouching into himself in between the shower stall and
the toilet. Lin had destroyed his drawings and cut off his hair. He'd tried to
destroy himself, make himself ugly.
 
Punish himself.
 
Lex rushed over to Lin, getting to his knees so quickly he slid into his
brother. His hands found Lin's shoulders and he gripped him hard.
 
"No, Lin," he said, and it wasn't until he tasted salt on his lips that he
realized he was crying. "No, you have to stay here with us. You have to, Lin."
No matter how hard Lex tried to lift Colin's head up so he could look into
those beautiful eyes, he couldn't. Lin's head wouldn't budge, just remained
bent low and over to the side away from Lex.
 
Lex sat back on his heels, anger overtaking him. He glanced back at the counter
where a dull grey box sat unopened. Jerking his head back to Colin he said, "Is
that what you were going to use, Colin? Whatever's in that box over there? You
just going to kill yourself in Bruce's house, and leave Julian to find you?
Like last time? Bathrooms seem to be your endroit de choix, huh?"
 
He knew he shouldn't get angry. He knew with every fiber of his being that
showing how mad this made him was possibly the worst thing he could do at this
moment. But Lex. Didn't. Care. Lin was smart. He'd figure out why Lex was mad,
and it was for damn sure not because he didn't love him. Lin had to know that--
 
But, what if? a voice asked. What if he doesn't? Looking at the top of Lin's
shorn head, Lex came to a realization that Lin probably didn't know how much he
was loved. That if he'd known, he would have come to talk to them about what
was hurting him so much inside that he wanted to kill himself, mutilate
himself, destroy the things that he loved.
 
Lex leaned close to Colin and with his left hand carefully, oh-so-gently,
cupped the boy's cheek. Lin flinched and tried to squirm away, but Lex just
followed along with him. He leaned in close and whispered into Lin's ear, "I
love you so much, Colin, that even if you were completely bald I'd still love
you." Lex gave a wet chuckle. "I love you so much that walking into this room,
and figuring out what you were planning on doing. . . I have never been as
frightened in my whole life as I am, now, Lin."
 
Colin stopped trying to get away from him and Lex tugged the boy's head up with
his right hand, his left still plastered to Lin's cheek. Colin's eyes remained
down for a long time, but Lex rubbed his thumb back and forth across the soft
skin of his brother's face until finally they came up to meet his own.
 
"Please, tell me why you did this, Lin. Why wouldn't you talk to me? Or Julian,
for Chrissake! Bruce-- you think Bruce wouldn't understand? God, even fuckin'
Alfred, Liza, or goddamn-Nick-fuckin'-Fallin would have-- could've. . . why
wouldn't you say something? We love you so much, all of us do. You're Julian's
hero, you're hisworld, Lin. And I-- I've been a terrible brother. I know I've
fucked everything up! I never should have left. I love you so much and all I've
ever done is hurt you." Lex felt more tears stream down his face, and breathing
was suddenly hard to do, and his mouth just wouldn't stop moving-- "I'm worse
than he is! God!"
 
Quick as a flash, and now there was a hand wiping the tears away from Lex's
face and holding the back of his head. Lex looked up and tried to get his
bearings. Colin must've moved, and quickly, too. When Lex looked for Lin's eyes
he found them zeroing in on him, so many emotions on his face.
 
"You are not him! You're not anything like him! Don't ever say things like
that. You-- you and Lian, you're all I have." Lin's voice broke painfully on
the last part, and now they were both crying like babies, but Lex couldn't care
less at the moment. Colin was talking and he was alive, and everything had
turned to shit, but maybe if they just talked about it--
 
"Why, Colin? Why were you-- what were you going to do?!"
 
Lin released his grip on Lex and sat down on the floor cross-legged. He put his
head in his hand and gave a huge sigh, and Lex, himself, leaned back against
the toilet.
 
"I-- Lionel gave me a cell phone," Lin said, looking back up at Lex, nervously.
"He gave it to me and told me to always answer, and I'd forgotten it even
existed until it started ringing today. And-- and I was so stupid, Lex! I
picked it up!" Lin held out his hands, begging and beseeching, towards Lex. "I
didn't want to. I really didn't. But, he'd always said I had to. He told me
that I had to, that he wouldn't tolerate disobedience. Not in me."
 
And now Lex was glad he was sitting so close to a toilet because hearing that
made him want to throw up everything he'd ever eaten. Ever.
 
"So you answered," Lex said, as calmly and understandingly as he could. "You
answered like he'd told you to. I understand, Lin." Colin just looked back at
him, disbelief clearly written on his face. "You think I haven't been
conditioned to respond in certain ways? He calls me, tells me I'm to fly back
to Metropolis and meet with him, and I drop everything and do exactly that." He
made sure he had Lin's eyes on him and said, "That was last week, Lin. He
ordered me home, and I came. No thought of disobeying." Lex reached out for
Colin's hand, and slowly his brother reached forward, too, gripping hard. "You
picked up and he said, what?"
 
"He told me to come back. To him." Lin took a deep breath and that deer-in-the-
headlights look was back as he slowly said, eyes focused on Lex's face, "He
said I had to be in his office in 20 minutes or he'd tell. He'd tell everyone
what a freak I am." Lex reacted by bringing his other hand up, too, and
cradling Lin's tight. This was it. This was Lin telling him what he was, and
Lex had to tread very carefully, lose everything.
 
"You're not a freak, Lin. No matter what he says, it's always meant to hurt and
cut you up where you're most vulnerable. He lies. He lies all the time, about
everything. You can't believe anything he says. If he said I were a man, I'd
have to check for myself."
 
Lin gave a hysterical laugh at that and smiled weakly at Lex. The tears had
stopped falling, and with his hair all hacked off, Colin looked like a sad punk
rocker. The thought made Lex chuckle, and he reached forward to wrap his arms
around Lin. At first, there were the expected flinch and quickly stifled jerk
away. Soon, though, Lin's arms came up and he returned Lex's embrace, and his
face came to rest against Lex's neck. The spiky bits of hair tickled, but Lex
just held him tighter.
 
Everything was still shit. But at least Colin was here, hugging him. . .
 
. . . and not dead on the floor.
 
 
***
 
 
Lex pulled Colin to his feet, and guided him back into the bedroom proper. He
left the metal box next to the sink for now. When the backup got here, then
they'd tackle that. Right now he just wanted Lin away from whatever it was,
thinking, "out of sight, out of mind." Gently pushing Lin down to sit on the
bed, next to all of the displaced "keepsakes," Lex reached into his pocket and
took out his cell. It was the best way to get Bruce and Lian up here without
leaving Lin alone, but Lex still felt like a royal brat, calling someone who
was in the same house.
 
He kept a close eye on Colin, but the kid just sat meekly on the bed, head down
and shoulders slumped. The ringing on the other side of the connection quit
abruptly with a click, and then Bruce's voice asked, "Lex?" in an amused tone.
Lex took a deep breath, hating how he had to take that good mood away.
 
"Bruce, grab Lian and come up to Lin's room. Now." And with that, Lex
disconnected, knowing the other man would do as he'd said. Lex was serious and
freaked out, and Bruce would be able to tell. Now was not the time for
niceties.
 
Shuffling slowly closer to Colin, Lex reached out for the upside down wooden
box. Picking it up and looking inside showed him where the metal case in the
bathroom had come from. Well, what a clever little shit, Lex thought, throwing
a rueful look at an oblivious Lin. Lowering the box back down, he then looked
at the cell phone lying next to an innocent pile of comics. He didn't even want
to touch the damn thing. It was just like Lionel to do something like this:
somehow he always managed to ruin everything good in their lives.
 
Lex began pacing. Yes, it was a bad habit, but that was something his father
had said to him. And right now he didn't give a flying fuck! what would
disappoint Lionel. It helped Lex calm down a bit, and his father could go to
Hell. Would go to Hell, if he had anything to do with it.
 
The door was pushed open, and then Lian and Bruce were there, anxiously coming
through. Both stopped short at the same time upon seeing Lin, and any other
time Lex would have laughed. It was like something from a 3 Stooges bit, and
that was the moment when Lex recognized he was getting hysterical. He stopped
pacing and moved over to Bruce, while Lian cautiously went to sit with Colin on
the bed.
 
"Lex?" Bruce asked, only this time even Bruce's ever-calm voice sounded
alarmed. "What did he do?"
 
Lex rubbed a hand over his face, and replied, "I came in and I think-- I'm
pretty sure he was getting ready to kill himself." He waited until the other
man returned his stare. "Bruce, he cut all his hair off, and said Dad-- Lionel
had called him. That he had a phone, and was ordered to answer it." It felt
like the room was closing in on him. "He said something to Lin, that he had to
return or-- well, I don't know what the 'or else' was, but knowing Lionel it
was something especially sadistic." Looking back to where Lian was leaning
close to Lin, Lex said quietly, "I'm stuck, Bruce. I don't know where to go
from here."
 
A large hand suddenly gripped his arm hard, and Lex looked back at Bruce. God,
he'd never seen so many emotions on that face before. Usually as relaxed and
tranquil as a lazy summer afternoon, now Lex could see fear and anger and bone-
deep sadness.
 
"We're going to go over there and ask Colin the questions we should have a long
time ago. Lex," the grip on his arm tightened briefly before loosening
altogether. "We are going to do this, the four of us. Don't you get it, yet?
You are my family, Lex. You and Julian and Colin, you're our family. . . mine
and Alfred's. You have been for a very long time." Bruce frowned and Lex could
see the other man was trying to say something more, but couldn't seem to find
the right words. Lex reached out and drew him close in a hug.
 
"I understand. I do." And with that, Lex put his hand on Bruce's shoulder and
led them over closer to the bed. Lian was sitting next to Colin, holding his
brother's hands and trying to get Lin to look at him. Lex reached over and
pulled a couple of chairs closer to the bed, for himself and Bruce.
 
"Lin, I want to know what you were trying to tell me, back in the bathroom. And
I think it's time you told us what you can do. . . how you disappeared in
Jameson's office that day, and what it is that's in that box in there." Lex
pointed angrily towards the bathroom."Secrets have put us here, right now, in
this position. I ran away, and I left both of you alone with him. I did that,
and God! do I regret it -- you'll never know how much. But we have to start
being honest with each other if we're to get through this."
 
Lex leaned forward in his chair. "You think we're going to run away from you if
you say it? Lin? Tell Lian and Bruce what you said to me back there, after I
found you had cut all your hair off." He touched Lin's knee and said quietly,
"You told me that I was nothing like him. You said that we are all you have.
And, Lin, that's true for all three of us, as well. None of us are Lionel," Lex
felt him flinch at the name, but kept going, "and we need to know this. You
need to tell someone, Lin. You can't do this alone, it's eating you up inside,
and obviously we were wrong to wait. Maybe we should have asked you sooner,
huh?"
 
Lex kept his hand on Colin's knee, hoping it would remind the boy that he
wasn't alone. He saw Lian nudge Lin with his shoulder, and then the two of them
exchanged looks. Lin then took a steadying breath, and said, eyes downcast,
"I'm-- I'm not human. He told me-- he always said that he found me in a
cornfield. That the moment his heir was taken away from him, luck set me down
right in front of him." Lin's eyes met Lex's. "He called me his instrument, his
bargaining chip." Another deep breath, and without looking away Colin said,
"I'm an alien. I wasn't born on Earth. Somehow I came to be there, when you and
he were in Smallville. Lex-- " he started to say, but stopped, dropping his
head down again.
 
And Lex felt his breath stick in his throat. Smallville. Fuck. 'The moment his
heir was taken away. . . ' Lin's words echoing over and over in his head. So
Dad had never intended for him to take over. Since Smallville, he'd just been a
burden. What are you thinking about that for? a voice asked, disgusted. Colin
says he's an alien, and all you can do is feel sorry for yourself because Daddy
never loved you? The bastard is incapable of love. Look at how he treated such
an incredible being as Colin. Abused and tormented and tortured this wonderful
gift to Earth, all so he could feel superior. Lionel can't love anyone,
probably didn't love your mother or Julian, either. Lionel is the alien. He's
the one who has no humanity. Lex looked up at Colin, and thought, he might not
have been born here, but that kid is all that's good in us.
 
"So?" Lex asked Colin, and felt giddy when the teen's head jerked up. Confusion
and shock were written all over his face, and Lex gave in to the laughter
bubbling up inside of him. He laughed hard, and most likely hysterically,
wheezing out, "If you could see your face, right now, Lin-- "
 
He heard Julian giggle nearby, and that just made him laugh harder. Get it
together, Luthor, he thought to himself. Taking a breath, and wiping the tears
from his eyes, Lex made eye contact with a still-dumbstruck Lin and said, "I
had already guessed you were different, Colin. Truth to tell, I'd thought you
were meta, or mutated like me. If I easily considered those, is it so hard to
think I believe in the existence of extraterrestrial beings. . . such as
yourself?" Lex looked over at Bruce, whose entire focus was on Lin, and then at
Lian. Studying his brother a bit, Lex came to the conclusion that none of this
was a surprise to little Lian. "So, Julian, I take it you already knew Lin
wasn't. . . from around here?"
 
Lian looked guilty and nervous, and wouldn't meet his eyes. Yep, definitely in
on it. But Lex couldn't find any resentment or anger in himself towards either
of his brothers. And Lin was still his brother, no matter that they were born
on different worlds. He was just glad that Lin had told somebody, that perhaps
the kid hadn't been completely alone all these years.
 
"It's okay, Lian," Lex told him, watching, amused, as Julian relaxed his
posture back into a slouch. "Now," he said, turning his attention back to Lin.
"What's in that box in the bathroom, Lin?"
 
Colin visibly swallowed, and glanced at Bruce. Lex just shrugged at him, and
said, "Bruce is fine, Lin." He leaned in closer and stage-whispered, "That's
his thinking face." He lifted his hand from Lin's knee and leaned back in his
seat.
 
"I-- I was going to try. . . again," Colin said. "And there's this stuff, this
rock, that makes me sick. It's the only thing that does, and so after last
time, I. . . took some of it. Just in case. And then he called, and I answered.
And then you came in. . . before I could do anything."
 
"Besides hack all your hair off, you mean," Lex said with a raised eyebrow. "So
do you know what this 'rock' is? What's the composition of it?"
 
"Uh, it came with me," Lin replied, looking warily at him. "He said it followed
me. The rocks did. I came down, and that was the meteor shower in Smallville."
Colin's face became sad and apologetic. "The meteors were me, Lex. And the
radiation from them. . . that was what caused your hair to-- "
 
"I know, Lin," Lex cut him off, waving his hand. "When you told me that he'd
found you in Smallville, I put it together." He looked closer at Lin's face.
"It's not your fault. You were just a child, Lin. Me having no hair isn't that
big of a deal. Not anymore. In fact, I've grown so used to it now that I
wouldn't change it even if I could."
 
Bruce sighed, and Lex looked at him. The man was shaking his head and gazing at
Lex with a fondness he rarely showed. Lex swallowed and forced his mind back
onto Colin. Looking at his two brothers on the bed, something came to him.
 
"Lian, do you remember that time, years ago, when you called me at Princeton?
You said you'd found Lin . . . unconscious in the house?" He looked pointedly
at Colin, and asked him, "What happened back then? Lian said you were acting
funny all night."
 
"I, uh-- "
 
"He wasn't wearing the necklace," Julian said in a hurry, talking over Colin.
"He always wore that green necklace. Dad made him wear it." Lian shook his head
angrily. "I mean, Lionel made him wear it. It's made of that meteor rock, and
it makes Lin all quiet, more quiet than he usually is. And sick, too." Lian
looked at Lin, and moved closer to him on the bed. "You never ate anything when
you were wearing it, and your face was always really white. Was it a
punishment?" he asked in a whisper.
 
Lex got the impression that Lian had some experience with Lionel's
"punishments" and closed his eyes in pain. Goddamn you, Lex, he thought to
himself. You selfish, son of a bitch.
 
"No, Lian," Colin replied, sadly. Lex opened his eyes at the resignation in his
voice. "It was just another threat." Looking at Lex, he told him, "that day
you're asking about, when Lian found me, they told me I died. When I was at the
Centre earlier, they gave me a pendant to wear. It was meteor rock, but it was
red instead of green, and it made me feel-- It wasn't like the other. I felt
angry and careless while I had it. I remember yelling and shouting at him, at.
. . Lionel. . . and then I took the green necklace that I still had, and I-- I
swallowed it." Colin's eyes shut. "It hurt so much and I kept telling myself,
'He'll be sorry, now.'" He opened his eyes, and Lex saw all that pain the kid
had been blanking for the whole week. "He wasn't sorry. He was angry. I was the
one who was sorry." His voice broke on the last word, and Lex stood up, stepped
over to him, and reached down to wrap his arms around Lin.
 
Lex said, close to Lin's ear, "We'll get rid of that stuff. I'll take it away,
and you won't do this again." Leaning back so he could look him in the eyes,
and holding him by the shoulders, Lex asked, "Right? You're not alone, Lin, and
I want you to swear that you'll come and talk to us -- any one of us! -- if you
feel like doing this. . . like trying to kill yourself. Swear, Lin. Promise Mom
you won't do this again." He made his voice hard as he said this, knowing if he
didn't he'd start crying again.
 
Colin's eyes were wide and wet, as he nodded, and said, "Okay. I promise I
won't do it again. I promise Lillian that I won't try, anymore, that I'll talk
to you when I-- whenever I feel alone." His lips quirked and Lin said, "I
promise you, Lex."
 
Lex brought him back into a hug, and one of his hands reached up to
subconsciously smooth over his hair. At the unfamiliar prickly sensation,
though, Lex's hand jerked back. But for only a moment. After a split second
hesitation, Lex laid his hand down on Colin's head and ruffled it back and
forth, causing all three of them, Lex, Lin, and Lian, to smile, and Bruce to
snort.
 
"Well, Lin," Lex said, still hugging him close. "It appears I was right all
along, hmmm? You really are out of this world."
 
 
***
 
 
Lex held Colin's elbow as they walked into the kitchen. Bruce had gone down
first to prepare Alfred for the shock, and ask the older man's assistance. The
three of them had no idea how to transform Lin's shearing into a hairstyle. Lex
had actually snorted when Bruce looked towards him. He may be queer, but given
his own follicly challenged lifestyle, Lex wouldn't trust himself within ten
feet of a pair of scissors, accurate stereotypes be damned.
 
So now, here they all sat. Colin in the middle of the Wayne kitchen, sheet
covering him, while Alfred alternately squinted and snicked away above him.
Lex, Bruce, and Lian sat at the breakfast table watching in an uncomfortable
silence. Not much had been said after Bruce had pointed out the hair emergency,
and the tension in the room wasn't only Lex's paranoia showing.
 
At least, he didn't think so, anyway.
 
"How'd you get so good at cutting hair, Mr. Alfred?" Julian asked.
 
Glancing over at the boy in between assessments of the evenness of Lin's bangs,
Alfred gave a tight smile and while snicking replied, "Oh, Master Bruce for a
long time loathed going anywhere near a barbershop. I became quite adept at
distracting him long enough to wrangle him into a chair." Stopping and standing
up straight, Alfred grinned over at Lian. "I simply gave him a book to read."
Returning to contemplate Lin's hair, he continued as though distracted, "and if
it happened to be one which I'd heard most children his age would find too
difficult, and if he then just happened to study it closely. . . well, that's
just the way things work out sometimes, yes?" He gave Lian a little smirk and
winked at him, and went back to inspecting Colin's head.
 
Julian laughed and looked over to Bruce who, much to Lex's delighted surprise,
had a small smile on his face and was shaking his head back and forth. Lex
could easily picture a younger Bruce responding to the challenge of reading and
understanding a book above his level. Hell, the man still did that today, only
now it was scientific and economic texts rather than literature or philosophy.
. . but still. Bruce was, and always had been, competitive. At least that was
something which hadn't changed as he'd gotten older, and as so much of his life
had fallen apart.
 
Lex looked back over to Lin, and saw Alfred lifting up the sheet and brushing
off the boy's collar. So the hair-save was done. Colin stood up and ran a hand
from the back of his head, up and over the top, and then let it drift down the
side past his ear. He turned around, and stopped short upon seeing Lex looking
at him. Lex tried to look understanding and encouraging, and Lin relaxed a
little as he drifted over to the table.
 
It was a quarter to seven in the evening, and after putting things away, Alfred
went back to dinner preparations.
 
After a few minutes of collective silence Lian spoke up and asked, "Do you have
any movies, Bruce?"
 
"Yes," Bruce replied, looking a bit confused. "There's a whole collection
upstairs, in fact. Did you want me to show you?"
 
Lian returned Bruce's gaze and said, "I just thought-- well, maybe it would be
a good idea to watch something. . . tonight. As a-- you know, as a sort of
distraction, maybe?"
 
He looked so earnest and unsure that Lex jumped in with, "I think that's a good
idea, Lian. You're right, a good movie will be just the thing." Turning to look
at Bruce, he asked, "What kind of films do you have? Something dark and broody,
no doubt."
 
Bruce looked affronted and gently punched Lex on the arm. "I'll remind you that
it wasn't I who insisted we see 'Se7en' at the cinema. Dark and broody, hmmm?"
He pointedly ignored Lex then, and said to Lian, "Actually, there are some from
several different genres." His expression turned a bit wistful. "My father
loved 'Monty Python.' I think the whole series and all the movies are up there,
as well as quite a few comedies. Mother loved Katherine Hepburn." He turned and
called out to Alfred, "Alfred! Do you remember that marathon we had, the one
where we each picked out a movie?"
 
Alfred turned halfway from the stove, eyes on his stirring as he replied, "I do
indeed, Master Bruce. You chose 'Young Frankenstein.' Or should I say, Frank-
en-schteen?"
 
Bruce chuckled and Lex found himself laughing, too. Lian had never seen the
movie, and so merely looked bewildered which did nothing to stop Lex laughing.
He glanced over at Lin and saw a little quirk to the kid's lips, hinting at a
smile.
 
"Well, I think I know what we're watching tonight, then," Lex said. "There's no
way a brother of mine will go through life not knowing Mel Brooks. 'Roll, roll,
roll in ze hay!'"
 
Bruce snorted and laid his head down on his arms, as his shoulders shook.
Looking over at Alfred, he saw the older man shaking his head as he stirred,
and Lex knew he had a dopey grin on his face. And then from out of nowhere,
Colin said in a wheezing, high-pitched voice, "'Puttin' on the Riiiiiitz!'" and
they dissolved into laughing buffoons. Julian was turning red and had crossed
his arms in indignance, and that just made Lex laugh so hard he couldn't
breathe.
 
 
***
 
 
After dinner, they went upstairs and rifled through the Wayne family's film
collection. Saying it held some from several genres was an understatement. It
was a film library in the truest sense of the word, and after figuring out the
organization, the four of them retreated to the tv room with their pick. There
were a couple sofas and Lex watched as Lin and Lian settled on one. Lex took a
chair and Bruce sat in one across from him.
 
The next hour and a half was filled with laughter and smiles, and Lex was going
to give Lian the best present he could when the boy's birthday finally rolled
around.
 
 
***
 
 
Afterward, Lian said he was going to stay with Colin that night. Lex had been
fretting over leaving the kid alone, and now the solution was clear. Looking at
Lin, Lex didn't see any resistance to the idea and breathed a sigh of relief.
 
Lian grabbed Lin's hand and pulled him up, as the two of them walked out of the
room. But when Lex went to follow, Bruce placed a hand on his arm stopping him.
Looking first at the hand, and then raising his eyes up to meet Bruce's, Lex
saw worry there. Something serious, Lex thought. Stealing a quick glance
towards the doorway, he also made the connection that it was something Bruce
wanted to discuss alone, and felt a bit angry at him. No more secrets, damn it.
 
"Wait a minute, Lex," Bruce said. He removed his hand from Lex's arm and put
both in his pants pockets. "I wanted to ask you what you're thinking of doing
for Colin's therapy. Nick called me this afternoon and told me we need to get
him in to see someone. Soon. He said it's crucial, that the psychiatrist who
did their evaluation told Nick that Colin was in serious condition." Bruce
looked at Lex and said, "He's going to put that in the report -- that Lin's
unstable, and if we report that Lin. . . cut off his hair, himself, then. . . "
 
He trailed off, and Lex nodded, running a hand over the back of his head.
"Yeah, he called me, too. I just-- I haven't had time to think about it. Not
with what happened earlier. I think we shouldn't-- " Lex looked at Bruce.
"Should we say what happened? Tell someone? That Colin did that, and confessed
that he was going to attempt suicide? I just-- but then what if they take him
away, Bruce?" His hands came up and Lex gestured towards the door. "It happened
here. On my watch. They're going to think I can't take care of him, or that
we're not doing anything about how broken he is." He dropped his hands fast and
said, "No. No, I think we should say, if they ask, that he just didn't want
long hair, anymore. That he asked Alfred to cut it for him. It's not entirely
false, and I don't want to risk-- I won't give them any reason to take him
away, Bruce! He needs to be here. With me and Lian."
 
Bruce placed his hands on Lex's shoulders and pulled him close. "Okay. I agree
with you, Lex. I just think we need to figure out how to get him some therapy.
. . without pressuring him into lying. He's already under so much stress that
taking him to a shrink and making him have to hide  most of what's going on
inside him . . . I'm just afraid that'll make it worse instead of better."
 
Lex sighed and nodded wearily. "Yeah, but what else are we going to do? We
can't have him say he's an alien, for Chrissake! They'll lock him up in some
institution! I just-- I need to think about this. And we need to talk with Lin
about this, too." He gave Bruce a hard look and said, "He should have a say in
what's going on. After all, he's the one it concerns."
 
Bruce nodded and drew back from him, his arms sliding off Lex's shoulders.
"Yes, you're right. I'll look up some names, maybe. And we'll talk to him
later?"
 
"Yeah, in the morning." He deliberately moved closer to Bruce and lifted a hand
to the other man's rough cheek. "I'll see you later. I'm going to go see how
they're doing, and then I'll meet you. . . in your room?"
 
Bruce turned his face and kissed Lex's palm. "I'll see you soon," he said in
that deep, raspy voice. Then he brushed past and walked out of the room,
leaving Lex alone to gather himself, before going to see Lian and Lin.
 
 
***
 
 
When he got there, Lex found Lian on the bed reading a Warrior Angel comic. Lex
smiled and felt something deep inside him warm when he recognized it as one he
had gifted to Lin. Turning to look around, he saw Lin at the small table which
sat near the windows. He was hunched over and drawing rapidly. Lex walked
closer and sat down in the chair across from him.
 
"I wasn't the only one," Lin's voice said. Lex looked up and the boy's focus
was still wholly on his work, his left hand moving across the paper in short
jerky motions. From upside down, Lex couldn't make out what he was drawing
exactly, but whatever it was. . . it was dark. Hardly any white left on the
paper, as Lin scratched manically at it. Then he realized what Lin had said,
and Lex felt cold again.
 
"You weren't the only what, Lin? What do you mean?"
 
Lin sat back suddenly, startling Lex. He squinted at the drawing, in the way
Lex had come to recognize as him judging it done, or not. Then. . . Lin looked
up at Lex and, without breaking eye contact, turned the pad around and slid it
across.
 
He dreaded what was drawn there, for the look on Lin's face was the same one
he'd worn in Lex's presence for years. It was his 'Lionel-face,' and it scared
the crap out of Lex. He hesitated, and Lin smirked at him and raised an
eyebrow.
 
"Aren't you going to look? I think it'll answer your questions."
 
Closing his eyes, Lex took a deep breath before opening them again and looking
down at the sketch.
 
Jesus.
 
It was a lab. A young boy with short hair was shown tied down to a table, tubes
and wires attached to him. And on a table next to him was drawn another boy.
This one had his eyes shut, and his body arched and contorted in obvious pain.
And instead of soft restraints like the first, the second boy had chains
wrapped around each limb. Literally, chains.
 
Lex felt a tear slide down his face. It was Colin writhing on that table,
chained to it like some kind of violent animal. God, he looked so young!
 
Still in shock at the horror of what he was seeing, Lin's next words took
awhile to filter through. When they did, Lex closed his eyes and brought a hand
up to cover them.
 
"His name's Lucas," Lin said calmly.
 
But no matter how he covered his eyes, the image remained seared onto his
brain.
 
 
***
 
 
Sunday passed much like Saturday had, in awkward and jilted silences,
interspersed with brief discussions on what the hell the coming week would
bring. Bright and early Tuesday, Lex and Nick Fallin were scheduled to board
Bruce's jet, on their way to Metropolis for Julian and Colin's custody hearing.
Jameson had called Lex Monday afternoon to tell him he'd also be there. Two
lawyers, two damn good lawyers on his side. . . against Lionel.
 
Actually, thinking about it, Lex probably had the Metropolis District
Attorney's Office rooting for him, as well. While not necessarily best friends
by any means, if Lex won today it would make Lionel look worse during the
criminal trial in his near future, and thus, the DA was throwing his weight
behind Lex.
 
They were not alone.
 
But his hands still shook that morning as he went to button up his shirt, and
several times he had to resist the urge to run a hand over his head. Bruce had
left sometime in the middle of the night, and so Lex had been startled out of a
terrifying dream -- in which Lian wore a mask with their father's face on it,
and Colin drank a glass of blood while walking on a sea of paintings, his bare
feet burning each as he passed over them -- by the alarm clock, and not by
Bruce's warm breath in his ear. It was oddly fitting that he be so focused on
his brothers that he dreamt of them, and it didn't take a genius to interpret
that dream.
 
After finishing dressing, Lex gathered up his coat and bag and descended the
stairs down to the kitchen. Bruce was nowhere to be seen, but Lin, Julian and
Liza were at the table, Alfred chopping something on the island in the center.
 
"Master Lex," Alfred said, looking up. He gave a tight smile and asked, "What
would you like for breakfast?"
 
"Just coffee, thanks," Lex responded as he took a seat on one of the stools
surrounding the island. He perched on it sideways enough that he could see both
Alfred and all of them over at the table. Julian looked to be eating some kind
of oatmeal with single-minded determination, while Liza talked quietly to Lin.
Colin had his sketchbook open, and appeared to be listening to her as he drew
in it.
 
Lex hoped it was a different subject than the one he'd done last night. He
wasn't sure what Liza would say if she saw that, but Lex was sure it'd freak
her out and scare her as much as it had him. And she didn't know about Lin's. .
. origins. She might call the men in white coats while he was gone, and
tomorrow Lex would come home to find Lin locked up and. . .
 
Alfred set a cup down in front of him, along with a few pieces of toast, and
Lex thanked him with a smile.  As he took a bite, suddenly a pair of hands came
up to cover Lex's eyes from behind. He laughed and kept right on chewing,
acting as though nothing were out of the ordinary. A quiet giggle gave away his
"attacker," and Lex calmly asked, "Lian?"
 
The hands left and now he was faced with the hilarious sight of his youngest
brother pouting at him. Lian slid up onto the stool next to him. "You looked
sad, so I tried to lighten things up." He bit his lip, and after a pause asked,
"How did you know it was me? Could've been Bruce or Lin."
 
Lex chuckled and finished off his coffee, thanking Alfred when the man refilled
it. Giving Lian a quick glance, he said, "Your hands." A confused look was the
boy's response, and Lex again chuckled. He gestured towards the objects in
question with his cup, and said, "They're too small to be anyone else's but
yours." Turning back to his food, he added with a grin, "And I'd recognize that
giggle anywhere."
 
Julian huffed and lightly punched Lex on the arm. Looking closely, Lex could
make out the humor in Lian's face, but mostly what he saw was a deep weariness
that made him look much older than his eight years. Sure, Lex and Bruce were
already worn out with all the stress and worry, but Julian was just as
susceptible to depression as any of them were. He was a child far away from the
house he'd lived in for his whole life. And one of his brothers had been
severely abused. . . and was an alien, and the other was attempting to rescue
the day and make everything right.
 
Lin wasn't the only one who was going to need therapy. Maybe they could get a
special family discount: three Luthors for the price of one.
 
"So, what are you guys going to be doing today, do you think?" Lex asked.
 
Lian glanced over at the table and then back to Lex. "I don't know for sure.
Liza asked me out in the hallway what I wanted to do. And then she asked me
what I thought Lin would like." He shrugged and then said, "I told her anything
with art. Do you think that was right? Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Maybe
Lin doesn't-- "
 
Lex reached over and placed a hand on Lian's shoulder. He nodded his head back
towards the kitchen table, where Colin and Liza were conferring over the sketch
pad in front of them, and said, "Does that look like he doesn't want to do
anything with art, Lian?" Then Lex put a finger on Lian's cheek, turning him
back so he could look the kid in the eyes. "You know. Trust yourself. I trust
you, and Lin certainly trusts you."
 
Lex then reached forward and gathered Lian into a hug, as natural as gravity.
Lian didn't hesitate to return the embrace, squeezing him and laying his head
on Lex's shoulder.
 
And as he looked over Lian's shoulder at the table, his eyes met Lin's and Lex
found approval and love there, and for a brief moment everything was okay.
 
 
***
 
 
Unfortunately, he still had to go to Metropolis. Nick was already at the hangar
when Lex arrived, and they boarded the plane one right behind the other.
 
Lex sat down in the same seat he'd taken on the flight into Gotham last week,
and Nick slid into the window seat opposite him.
 
"So, how are things in Nicholas Fallin's life right now?" Lex asked after
takeoff, laying his head back on the headrest, but keeping his eyes on Nick's
face.
 
A twist of the lips that might be considered a smile, and sad eyes, and Nick
responded without looking at Lex, "Hmm. As things ever are, it seems." A beat,
and then he met Lex's eyes and said, "Fucked up." Nick settled back into his
seat, crossing his legs at the ankles and resting his head on his hand.
"Though, don't get me wrong, things have been worse, sure."
 
"Did you ever want siblings, Nick? A younger brother or sister?"
 
Nick swallowed and actually looked nervous. Lex blinked. Yeah, that was the
first time he'd ever seen Nick look unsure about anything. "I'm sorry. That's a
very personal question."
 
"No. No, it's okay. A reasonable question, actually." He smiled, and Lex swore
that even a tense, fake smile from Nicholas Fallin was a beautiful thing. Nick
looked back out the window as he said quietly, "I did, for a long while. . .
want a brother, that is." He gave a short chuckle and shook his head. "I
remember asking my mom when they would get me one. . . like it was a puppy or
something." Lex laughed and Nick turned to him and grinned.
 
"I was an only child for so long," Lex put in. "When I was four, I believed
parents were only allowed one child because all of the families I ever had
contact with only had a single son or daughter. And then one day, years later,
I come into the room and there are both my parents and a little boy, all
looking back at me with different expressions on their faces."
 
Nick seemed to study him for a minute, then asked, "How old were you when your
parents adopted Colin?"
 
"Ten, almost eleven. And Lin was four." Lex made eye contact with Nick and
carefully said, "At least that's what Lionel told us. I don't know what
happened to his real parents, or if they're even still alive." He closed his
eyes and quietly confessed, "I don't how long Lionel had him before he brought
him home to us. God, I don't know anything."
 
"That's not true at all," Nick interjected. . . almost angrily. Lex jerked his
head up and was met with hot eyes and Nick's serious expression. "You know
enough, Lex. You got them out of that house, and you knew who to go to for
help. And you know right from wrong." His lips again twisted into that not-
quite-a-smile, but this time Nick's eyes were bright as he said confidently,
"You're not your father's son, Lex."
 
And for the first time in his life, that comment made Lex feel good, and proud.
 
 
***
 
 
The plane arrived in Metropolis at 11:30 that morning, and he and Nick had a
driver waiting for them just outside the hangar. Nick stopped walking and eyed
the car suspiciously, but Lex just laid a hand on his arm and said, "It's
Bruce's doing. He told me to expect someone at the airport. I imagine he wanted
to make it so that I wouldn't drive while here." Lex started towards the car
and said under his breath, "Imperious bastard." Nick must have overheard him,
though, because his laugh followed Lex as he led the way over to the Rolls
Royce. Lex shook his head in true amusement. Only Bruce would make sure to hire
a driver with a Rolls. Or maybe it had been Alfred. Chuckling, he got in and
scooted over to make room for Nick.
 
 
***
 
 
Lex told Andy, the driver, their destination and 15 minutes later the car came
to a smooth stop outside Jameson Law Office. As they got out, Lex was informed
that Andy had been paid up for two days, and would be waiting to take them
wherever they needed to go. Fuckin' Bruce. There was no way Lex was going to
sneak around and try to avoid a perfectly good mode of transportation. . . no
matter how much he wanted to. A driver? Lex snorted and nodded, and then he and
Nick headed inside.
 
Rick's office was in the back of the building, and as soon as the man's
secretary saw them enter, she stood up and rushed over.
 
"Hello, Mr. Luthor! Mr. Fallin! Is there anything I can get you? An iced
cappucino, or some water, maybe? We have some nice croissants in the other
room, and I'm sure I could find-- "
 
"Nothing for me thanks, Claire," Nick cut her off, smiling. "Is the boss in?"
 
"Oh, yes! Yes, he's right in his office now. Let me show you in!" And she was
off, hurtling down the hallway like a big puppy. Lex looked over at Nick and
the other man just smiled and started off after Claire.
 
She was holding the door open for them, and Nick went in first of course.
Unfortunately, that left Lex within Claire's sights and she quickly rattled off
his refreshment options, this time getting as far as fresh fruit or "nutritious
smoothies." As politely as he could, Lex declined, and when he finally stepped
inside Jameson's office it was to find both lawyers clearly amused.
 
"She's very. . . helpful," he said, for want of a better word.
 
Jameson's smile just grew bigger and he replied, "That she is."
 
Lex and Nick took the seats across from Rick's desk at the man's wave towards
them, while he, himself. . . sank into that same damn squeaky chair he'd had
the last time Lex had been here.
 
"One o'clock," Jameson said. "Straight after the recess for lunch, you two are
up." He looked at Nick and asked, "Are you ready? Everything all set?" Nick
nodded, and Jameson turned to study Lex. "Do you think your father will be
there, Lex?"
 
"It had crossed my mind as a possibility, yes. But I honestly don't know what
he'll do. He's always been unpredictable, at least as far as I'm concerned.
It's what makes him so good at business."
 
Jameson just stared back at him, hands clasped together in a point up in front
of his face.
 
"Well," he began. "I'll be going to the hearing with you. And while I have the
utmost confidence in your abilities, Nick. . . well, better safe than sorry, as
they say, right? And," he said with a sharp-edged grin, "if Lionel Luthor is
there, I want to see his face when he's finally held accountable for something.
Wouldn't miss that for the world."
 
 
***
 
 
It happened just as they were leaving the restaurant. Not that he hadn't
expected it eventually, but
 
Lex just wasn't quite prepared right at that moment.
 
There was a recorder in his face. It banged into his nose at one point, and
several suited, bright-eyed reporters were just there.
 
"Mr. Luthor! Why are you seeking custody of your brothers? Does this have
anything to do with the drop in Luthorcorp stock?"
 
"Where are your brothers, Lex? Shouldn't they be here with you?"
 
"Is it true Colin was electrocuted while at school? There are rumors that-- "
 
"Are you and Bruce Wayne conspiring to take over Luthorcorp? Does his return
have any-- ?"
 
Then a hand was on Lex's shoulder, and when he turned he saw Nick's eyes
focused ahead of them. He guided Lex forward towards the curb, where Andy and
the Rolls were idling. Jameson's voice could be heard shouting "No comment"
behind them, and Lex just shook his head and climbed into the backseat of the
car. Nick slid in after him, and as Andy hurried around to the driver's side,
Lex looked back at the group of news reporters clogging the sidewalk and
entrance to the restaurant. About twenty or so, he estimated. No cameras,
though, which was good. So only print, then. Come tomorrow there'd be a gossip
column about all this and hopefully that would be the end of it for awhile.
 
Yeah. Right. Lex getting guardianship of his two brothers? From Lionel-fucking-
Luthor, reviled king of the city? Not a chance in hell this would go away that
quickly. And one of those piranhas had mentioned Colin explicitly.
Electrocuted? Well, Lin had said he'd been tied up outside during a storm. But,
Jesus, electrocuted? He'd been hit by lightning and Lex was going to find every
one of those little demons who'd been responsible and ruin them for life. Maybe
some of them were even related to Lex's tormenters of old. . . oh, that would
be even sweeter.
 
But how the hell had they found out about Lin's so-called hazing? It was the
law of the schoolyard that you never told on anyone, no matter how awful it
was. Had Lin said something? Thinking back on it, Lex realized Lin must have
told Lionel. After all, the old man wouldn't have pulled him out of school for
just anything. Lex could recall many times where he, himself, had asked -- not
pleaded, Lex had never ever pleaded with Lionel about anything -- to be taken
out of Excelsior Academy for the Refining of Rich Bullies and Predators.
Needless to say, he'd remained there for the duration, but Lin hadn't. The kid
had been there barely past midterm.
 
So he'd told Lionel that, what? He'd been struck by lightning? And dear old Dad
pulled him out of school. But the question that was bothering him was why Lin
had told Lionel in the first place. Lex truly didn't know that much about what
exactly had gone on between his father and brother, but he kind of thought that
life at Excelsior would have been an improvement over things back at the house.
With Lionel. Were the bullies at school any worse than their father? Surely
not. But then, why? Why would Lin choose to go back to that horrific
environment rather than stay enrolled? It didn't make any sense, and now Lex
had to switch gears and prepare for the hearing.
 
God, he hoped Lionel didn't show up.
 
 
***
 
 
As it turned out, Lex's hope was in vain.
 
Second row back, right side. Looking surprisingly calm and sane, considering
the situation.
 
He didn't even move a muscle when Lex, Nick, and Jameson came in. Lionel just
continued to stare straight ahead. Though the man beside him, his assistant,
Lex guessed, gave Lex a good, disdainful glare. Lex resisted the urge to smirk,
and contented himself with a blank stare back. The lackey twitched a little and
turned away, and then Lex did smirk.
 
It wasn't that long of a hearing, actually. Nick got up and gave his spiel, and
then the judge asked the woman representing Family Services her recommendation.
And then Judge Tricia Demmel was ready to give her ruling.
 
She said that she'd watched Lian and Lin's depositions. Then she looked over at
Lex and seemed to study him for a minute.
 
"You're 21 years old, Mr. Luthor," she said. Not a question. "Do you think
you're ready to take on the responsibility of caring for your brothers, both of
whom I've been informed tested with very high IQ's? You haven't completed
college, is that correct?"
 
"Yes, Your Honor. I was in my final semester, but I chose to withdraw a couple
weeks ago." Lex made sure he looked as confident and trustworthy as he could at
that moment. "I'm needed elsewhere right now."
 
Judge Demmel nodded and then let her gaze slide off Lex and to a point behind
him. . . to the right.
 
"Mr. Luthor, it is my duty to determine the best possible environment for your
sons. I have also been informed that there is a criminal investigation going
on, looking into crimes you may have committed against one of them." She sighed
and looked down for a moment, then lifted her head and once again focused on
Lionel. Lex squared his shoulders and found himself leaning forward, as he kept
his eyes solely on the judge's face.
 
"I have been made a voice of justice for the people of this city. All of its
people, no matter how tall, or how poor. No matter how much power they have
outside this courtroom, inside," Judge Demmel pointed a finger at her podium.
"Inside these walls, I am the one who decides. And it is my decision that
Alexander Luthor be appointed temporary guardianship of Colin Luthor and Julian
Luthor." Lex held his breath as her eyes turned back to him. "We'll see you
again in six months." She rapped the gavel, then stood and walked out of the
courtroom, and Lex finally let the air out of his lungs.
 
And breathed in the feeling of victory.
 
Nick leaned over and patted him on the back. "Well, we got it, Lex," he said
with a smile. "And don't worry. When the next hearing comes up, I have a
feeling you'll definitely get permanent custody." Nick deliberately glanced at
where Lionel must be behind them and then back to Lex. "If she thinks he looks
bad now, just wait until he's been indicted."
 
"We ready, boys?" Jameson asked, coming up and slinging an arm around each of
them. "I think it best we get out of here before the swarm descends again.
Especially with that one here," he jerked a thumb towards the back of the
courtroom -- Lionel, again.
 
"Yeah. Yes, let's go," Lex forced himself to say. He was still feeling the
shock of the ruling. He had been convinced, he knew, he would get custody of
Lian and Lin. But somehow, when the judge had been talking, he'd begun to doubt
whether or not she'd see him as capable. Just 21, and he had no real job. Sure,
Lex had money of his own. His mother had set up trust funds for all three of
her children before her death, and they came into effect on their 19th
birthdays. So, yes, while Lex did have the means to provide for his brothers,
he was a little afraid that he'd come across as nothing more than a bored
playboy out to piss off Daddy.
 
But. . . he'd won. Temporary, yeah, but Lian and Lin could stay with him.
 
They were safe.
 
As Lex allowed himself to be guided out of the courtroom, he couldn't help it
when his eyes slid over to Lionel's. His father stood in the doorway of the
courtroom, talking with another man while his lone posse member hung in the
background.
 
When Lex met Lionel's eyes, he was reminded of the time Pamela had taken him
and Colin to the zoo.
 
Their mother had been sick in bed, and the trip was a good distraction. The
first stop had been to the Reptile House. There, Lex had watched Colin wander
around, stark amazement on his little face. When they'd come to the komodo
dragon, though, Colin reached out and grabbed Lex's hand. The little boy had
gripped it hard and shuffled up close to Lex, as though he were trying to hide
in him. Lex had soon realized that Colin was afraid and guided him away,
stealing a last look back at the giant lizard.
 
Lex hadn't blamed Colin one bit for being scared of that komodo dragon. There
was something in its eyes, in the way it stared back at them, that reminded Lex
of all that he'd read about them. Komodo dragons camouflage themselves while
waiting for prey to pass by. When the victim appears, the dragon springs. It
uses sharp claws and serrated, almost shark-like teeth to eviscerate its prey.
 
Back then at the zoo, Lex remembered thinking, as he shepherded Colin away,
that the komodo dragon was death. It served no other purpose than its own, and
was rarely monogamous.
 
Looking at Lionel as the three of them left the courtroom, Lex realized he'd
seen that same empty, dead, warning look before.
 
Lionel was death. And he served no other purpose than his own.
 
And he was never monogamous.
 
 
***
 

"That's great news, Lex. I'm glad to hear that that city of yours finally woke
up. When will you be back?"
 
"Tomorrow afternoon, hopefully. We have to meet with someone in the morning,
and then after that Nick and I will fly out." He paused and took a deep breath
before asking, "So how are they doing?"
 
"Probably as well as can be expected, given the circumstances. . . though I
will say I was surprised when Colin asked to speak to me alone." Lex swore he
could hear the smile in Bruce's voice. "I can already tell you're thinking up
all manner of scenarios, just from your breathing. It wasn't bad, Lex. He just.
. . wanted to talk. About things. Good for both of us, I think."
 
"Things?" Lex asked incredulously. "Bruce, what exactly does 'things' cover?
Did he-- was it about Lionel?"
 
Bruce didn't immediately respond, and Lex got a sinking feeling in his gut.
 
"Somewhat. Look, I'm not going to lie and say that it was all kittens and warm,
woolen mittens, Lex." There was an audible sniff across the phone line, and Lex
smiled at Bruce's tone of disgust. Evidently not a 'Sound of Music Fan,' then.
"But it wasn't. . . bad. I don't think Colin's ever had any friends, really.
You and Julian are family, but I'm still on the outside. Sometimes you need an
outsider's perspective."
 
Lex sighed and agreed. "Yeah, sometimes you do. Well. . . I'm glad he came to
you, and that he's talking more. Did you get some names of therapists? Nick
recommended a few, but I haven't had time to research any of them."
 
"Actually, I had a different idea. Maybe family counseling would help Colin
more at first. Get him used to talking with you and Julian there, and then move
into one-on-one therapy later. What do you think?"
 
It was a damn good idea, but then it would be. It was Bruce's.
 
"It sounds doable. Now we just have to find someone who'll fit. I'm thinking-
- I think a woman might be best."
 
"Yes, I'd considered that. Don't worry, Lex. I'll call Nick and get those names
from him, and then I can take care of it." Bruce chuckled and said, "It's not
like I have to go to work, or anything. What else are self-sufficient,
billionaire friends for, if not to help when you need it?"
 
"I do appreciate it, Bruce. You know this means a lot to me. I don't think I'll
ever be able to repay you for all that you've done."
 
"Oh, I know," he replied smugly. "There's no one out there quite like Brucie.
Everyone loves me."
 
Lex laughed. He'd always had a hard time picturing Bruce's playboy persona, and
had even said so one day, after spotting yet another article in The Gotham
Globe all about Bruce's supposed wastrel behavior. So when Bruce came to dinner
that night, Lex had been given a front row seat to the 'Brucie show.'
Basically, Bruce acted like every jock and drunk bully the two of them had ever
been forced to be around, and Lex, Lian, and Lin laughed and snorted themselves
silly. At one point, Alfred had come in, taken one look at Bruce waving his
hands around exaggeratedly, and promptly gone back out.
 
It had been a good day. A couple of days after Lian and Lin's psych
evaluations. Two days prior to Colin hacking off all his hair, before he'd
almost killed himself . . . again.
 
Somehow it never ceased to amaze Lex how quickly things changed. One minute he
was inBoston, and a week later he's in Gotham, doing everything he can to keep
his brothers away from Dad.
 
One minute he believes Lin is Lionel's right hand man, and the next he's faced
with the fact that all Lin ever did was suffer and lie for Lex and Lian, to
protect them.
 
Forget the debt to Bruce, how do you ever repay something like that?
 
There was a knock on the door, and then Nick stepped into the room. Dinner? he
mouthed. Lex nodded in reply and held up his index finger, indicating he'd be
just a minute.
 
"Well, Brucie, much as I do absolutely adore you, we're gonna have to cut this
short, unfortunately. I've got another delicious, Raisa-cooked meal waiting for
me in the other room." Lex softened his voice and said, "I'll see you tomorrow,
okay? Take care of yourself. And tell Alfred he's going to have his work cut
out for him culinary-wise when I get back. I'm being spoiled out here. I'll
expect only the best after this!"
 
Bruce's chuckle drifted through, and he ended the conversation like he always
had. "We'll be seeing each other soon, Lex." And then he was gone.
 
Lex looked up at Nick, and the other man put his own happy persona on and
flipped Lex a toothy smile. "Gotta say, I've been looking forward to getting a
home-cooked meal for awhile now." As Lex stood and the two of them walked side
by side towards the Jamesons' dining room, Nick continued, "You know that's
what clenched me taking this case, right?" He nudged Lex with his elbow and
grinned widely. "God knows, I didn't do it for your scrawny ass."
 
Lex laughed out loud, and at just the moment when they'd reached the table,
causing Raisa to give them both a confused, exasperated look, and Rick to just
shake his head and roll his eyes.
 
 
***
 
 
Lex had a surprisingly restful night. He'd turned out the light at midnight and
actually managed to fall asleep rather quickly. Usually, he tossed and turned
and just lay awake for hours.
 
His good mood evaporated upon reading the headline of The Daily Planet,
however. 'Luthor Family Scandal' was the main headline, followed by 'Lex Luthor
Gains Custody of Brothers.'
 
"Jesus," he muttered into his coffee. "I hope Bruce doesn't get this paper."
 
"It was bound to happen sooner or later," Jameson put in from his station at
the stove. Eggs, it looked like.
 
Lex had lost any appetite he'd previously had after reading that.
 
"Something I found particularly interesting, though, was the byline of that
article," Rick said.
 
Lex looked at the page a second time and was immediately grateful he'd already
swallowed his mouthful of coffee.
 
The article had been written by a 'Thom Aerson.' No way that name was a
coincidence. Where the Luthor family was concerned, Lex didn't believe in
coincidences.
 
"Yay, it just gets better and better," Lex said sarcastically. "Tell me why I
decided to get up this morning?"
 
As he set a plate down in front of Lex and took a seat across from him, Jameson
responded with, "Because you've got two brothers and a lover waiting for your
return to Gotham." And while Lex's jaw literally dropped in shock, Rick took a
bite of his own omelet, reached out for the pepper, and distractedly added,
"And for my eggs." He looked over at Lex and with a completely straight face
said, "Once you taste these, you'll never wanna eat anything else," then popped
his fork into his smiling mouth.
 
Lex resisted the urge to throttle the man, chanting to himself that a decent
lawyer was hard to find, no matter how annoying he may be.
 
"Yeah, well, now we've got this to deal with," Lex said, pointing to the paper.
"I'm thinking I should give our good buddy Chance a ring and ask him what the
fuck is going on!"
 
Rick reached out and grabbed his wrist as Lex went to get up. Lex looked at him
and found the humor completely wiped off the other man's face.
 
"I don't think that's a very good idea, Lex. Sit down and eat your eggs.
They're getting cold, and there's nothing worse than cold eggs."
 
"Goddamn reporters," Lex grumbled, sitting back down. He stabbed the omelet
aggressively with his fork and said, "Which one was he, I wonder? One of the
ones outside the restaurant?" He glanced up at Rick and asked, "Did you see
anyone that looked like they might have been related to Chance?"
 
"Not that I could tell at the time," he replied with a shake of the head.
"Hell, maybe Chance is adopted and they look nothing like each other. Maybe
it's a cousin, or something." He pinned Lex with his eyes and said, "Don't go
off half-cocked, thinking you're going to put this one to bed with Luthor scare
tactics. Word of that gets out, and you'll have even more press. Worse, too."
He set down his fork and leaned back in the chair. "Look, from what I could
tell, they're painting you as, if not exactly an angel, at least someone trying
to do a good thing -- getting those boys away from that man. Remember, The
Planet isn't controlled by your father, so they're pretty much guaranteed to
bash him. I say, just go with it for now. Smile, say 'No comment' nicely, and
move along."
 
"Easy for you to say," Lex cut in. "Did you hear what they were asking
yesterday? Stuff about Colin. How long before it's leaked that there's an
investigation underway. . . into my father? How long until his indictment, and
the charges are publicized? They'll be all over Lin like sharks smelling
blood." Lex put his head in his hands and wished he had hair just so he could
yank on it in frustration. "We are so screwed."
 
"Are you done?"
 
He raised his eyes and scowled across the table.
 
"Stop this, Lex," Jameson said. There was something in the man's voice that
brought Lex up short. Was that. . .disappointment? "Stop whining and keep
working at making it better." Rick's mouth turned up at the corners and he
continued, "I can't do everything, you know."
 
Lex just sighed and lowered his eyes.
 
 
***
 
 
By the time Nick came in, Lex had managed to calm down a bit. It still made him
grit his teeth thinking Chance might have helped him for the sole purpose of
giving his brother/father/uncle/cousin an in for an interview. . . or gossip.
 
But the more he thought about it, the more Lex doubted Chance had really had
anything to do with that article.
 
When he actually went back and read the damn thing, he found it focused solely
on the custody hearing, some conjecture and suppositions, but that was it.
There was nothing about the accident, which was what Chance had been witness
to.
 
Maybe Lex's judge of character wasn't off, after all.
 
When he looked up at Nick, though, his worries shifted over to the man's
appearance. Nick looked liked he hadn't slept in awhile, days, at a guess, and
he was noticeably dragging as he made his way over to the coffee pot.
 
"Man, you look like hell, Nick," Lex said. "Trouble sleeping?"
 
The other man took Rick's now empty seat, and hunched over his mug. Right
before he took a gulp, Nick said, "You could say that."
 
"And? Come on, share your woes. God knows, you've heard enough of ours to last
you a lifetime." Lex tried to make it a bit lighter in tone, but got the
impression it fell flat.
 
Eyes still on his hands, Nick spoke quietly. "Just more problems with my ex."
He looked at Lex and began gesturing with his right hand. "Now she's saying she
won't let me see Anna cos, get this, 'You're gone so much that it'll just upset
her when you do deign to make time to see her.'" He said the last in a high-
pitched, snotty tone. . . evidently, mimicking his ex's voice.
 
"Anna? You've got a kid?" Nick was a dad?
 
"Yeah. Yeah, Anna's two. Two years old, and she doesn't even know who I am when
I come over. I try and Lulu just calls me before, telling me they're busy. Or
'plans have changed, Nick.'" There was that voice again. "What? I'm supposed to
just-- " Nick looked close to tears, and Lex couldn't say whether it was from
pure frustration or. . . something else. "I'm not going to abandon her! -- just
leave her to Lulu and let her grow up in boarding schools and never know I even
exist."
 
"Jesus, Nick, I didn't know you had a kid." Lex shook his head at the stupidity
of that comment. "So, uh, 'Lulu?' That a nickname, or. . . ?"
 
"Yeah, short for Louisa Archer. Daughter of Caroline Novak," he said, watching
Lex closely.
 
"Novak. As in one of the nations largest corporate jet-leasing companies,
Novak?" Lex whistled appreciatively. "How'd that happen?"
 
"She worked at Legal Services while I was doing my Community Service there."
Nick's eyes returned back to his cup of coffee. "We, uh, hit it off. After a
while."
 
"I'm way behind, and I am going to hurt Bruce later for not telling me, but
what exactly did you. . . get caught for?"
 
"Possession of 10 grams of cocaine. I pleaded guilty to misdemeanor drug
possession, and in exchange I got three years probation, a $10,000 fine, and
1500 hours of Community Service. Which I completed. . . last year. That's where
Legal Services came into the picture. I put my hours in there."
 
Lex leaned back in his chair and scrubbed over his face with his hands, then
crossed them over his chest. "So how did you swing that?"
 
He looked up and Lex knew by Nick's expression how, even before he said
anything.
 
"Burton. He called in some favors."
 
Lex laughed bitterly. "Oh, I'm sure he just loved that." He shook his head and
said, "Nick, are you okay? You don't have to do this, you know." Nick furrowed
his brow and opened his mouth to say something, but Lex waved a hand and cut
him off. "If you're already stretched thin, I don't want you to feel you have
to-- "
 
"I'm not doing this as a favor, Lex," he growled. "That's mafia, old school
crap -- stuff our fathers do -- and I don't believe in it one bit." He took a
breath and let it out slowly. "I'm doing this because you need my help. You
won't owe me anything after it's all done." A pause and then, "Well, except an
invitation to the LeXco holiday parties."
 
And Nick gave a tight smile, as Lex chuckled.
 
"'LeXco?'"
 
"Just something I thought up," Nick replied. He waved a hand and said, "If you
use it, just make sure I get the verbal credit, huh?"
 
"Yeah," Lex agreed. "You'll get credit for it, Nick."
 
They lapsed into silence and Lex turned to look out the nearby window, where
morning sunlight colored everything gold and white, and out of the corner of
his eye saw Nick do the same. Just two guys talking about their lives over
morning coffee. Happened every day, all over the world probably.
 
Though he sincerely hoped those other conversations were a whole hell of a lot
less dreary.
 
 
***
 
 
Intersect
 
 
Sometimes it seemed like Lin was getting better. He wasn't so angry all the
time, like he'd been at home. And Liza was so nice! It was almost as good as
having Julia back, his nanny from awhile ago. She'd been just as fun as Liza.
Lian still thought about her, sometimes. He wondered if she taught a new family
now, if she still remembered him and Lin. Or not. Julia had stayed around the
longest of all the nannies, and Lian had liked her best. She'd taught him how
to read through a book real fast and still be able to get everything, and when
the weather was good, Julia took everything outside and would tell him at lunch
that "they would be holding class outside today." She said it all official and
it made Lian feel a little grown up, like Lex and Lin.
 
Except Lin hadn't really ever gone to school, not like him or Lex. Just those
couple of months when he'd been gone, and then suddenly Lin was back at the
house and quieter than ever.
 
Julian wondered what had happened at the academy. Lex had gone there, too, with
his friend Bruce. And Sammy's older sister, who he'd met once at a party, had
said she remembered the two of them from school. She'd looked Lian up and down
after he shook her hand, and said, "Well, looks like you'll have it a little
easier, huh?"
 
Lian didn't quite know what she meant, but took it as a compliment and said
thank you. People often said strange things to him, and when he asked Lin about
what he should do, his brother had told him to just smile politely and perhaps
give a friendly chuckle while nodding. Lin knew what to do at those things.
'Course he was always being dragged around by Dad, so he probably picked
everything up then. It had always made Lian feel good, when he'd look over and
see Lin looking back at him. Sometimes he'd had a small smile on his face, and
Lian had known that meant his brother was proud of him. But even when Lin
wasn't smiling back, Julian knew it wasn't because he was doing something
wrong. It just meant Dad had said something mean again, while in company, and
those were the times when Lin got especially upset. Lian understood that. He
wouldn't want to be embarrassed in front of those people, either. But Dad never
cared.
 
Lionel. Lionel never cared. He wasn't Dad anymore. Not now.
 
Just before dinner, Bruce came into the room and asked Liza if he could intrude
for a little bit. She said, "Yes, of course," and then Bruce told them that Lex
had won. He'd won! Lian looked to Lin and saw him smiling faintly. Then he met
Lian's eyes, and it was the same smile as when he was proud of him. It was his
happy smile, and Lian got up and ran over to hug his brother. And then he
hugged Liza. And when he looked up at Bruce, the man started to back away with
his hands up in front of him and a nervous look on his face.
 
Which made him want to hug Bruce even more, so he ran over there and ducked
under and wrapped his arms around Bruce's waist and just hung on. Lex always
said Lian could squeeze the life out of a bear, he was so strong and
persistent. So he imagined Bruce as a bear and simply squeezed.
 
It was nice to hug somebody new. Lian thought that, after dinner tonight, he'd
maybe give Mr. Alfred a hug, too. He was sure neither Bruce nor Mr. Alfred ever
really got hugged, and then that made Lian think of Lex. Lex had hugged him
before he left, and then he'd won at the hearing! Maybe Lian was Lex's good
luck charm, too! Just like he was for Lin--
 
But he hadn't been there when Lin. . . he'd been downstairs with Bruce, while
Lex and Lin were upstairs. Lin hadn't told them what was going on until they'd
made him. And it was still so hard to breathe when Lian thought about what
would have happened if Lex hadn't gone up to check. Would Lin be dead now?
Julian remembered what he'd looked like that first time, in the bathroom back
home. Lin had been lying face-up on the floor and his skin was pure white, and
his eyes were open. But they didn't blink or move, and when Lian came closer he
saw that they were weird -- really, really pale blue instead of the bright
green they always were. Lian had kneeled down beside his brother and reached
out a hand to wake him up.
 
But when he'd touched Lin's hand, it had been cold and hard. He didn't know how
long he sat there, trying to get enough courage to reach out again. Lin was
just asleep. He'd wake up if Lian just shook him a little. But then he didn't.
So Lian went to the doorway and screamed for help, and the first person to get
there was Kate. Julia had been fired a week before because Dad said she'd been
stealing things. And Kate was nice, but Lian remembered wishing Lex had been
there. Lex would have known how to wake Lin up, and he would have taken him to
a hospital. Dad didn't even say anything to Lian before he'd left, right behind
the gurney and those men who weren't real doctors. Lin was taken to the Centre,
and Lian didn't see him again for three months, two weeks, and a day. He'd
counted, wanting to give Lex the information later when his brother came home.
 
But Lex didn't come home. He stayed in New Jersey and it wasn't until the
summer that Lian saw him again. It'd been a year by that time, and when Lian
and Becky, his newest nanny, had met Lex at the airport, he'd hesitated at
hugging him. It wasn't deliberate or anything. He'd missed Lex so badly that
when he saw him walking towards them, he just froze. He'd thought maybe he was
asleep and this was all a dream, cos he'd had dreams like that before -- where
Lex came and took them away to live, and Mom was waiting for them and Julia was
there, too. And in the dreams, Lin smiled and zipped around the room and put
Lian up on his shoulders and Mom clapped and hugged all of them and Julia and
Lex made things out of the air with their hands and played around with a
chemistry set. And sometimes, Lian would see a man in the distance, but he
never came over. It made Lian glad; he didn't want Dad ruining everything.
 
But those were just dreams. Mom was dead, and Lian knew he'd never see Julia
again. But he and Lin were living with Lex! And Bruce and Mr. Alfred and Liza,
and then Mr. and Mrs. Jameson, and even Nick. . . they were all nice to them,
nice to Lin, and none of them talked down to Lian or reminded him that he was
only eight years old. And Lex talked to him and Lin, and had hugged him back!
 
He was so happy that Lex had won, that he'd wanted him and Lin to live with
him, and that Bruce had been there and helped. Lian kind of hoped they all just
stayed here. It was nice and far away from home, and Lian didn't have to go
back to school and neither did Lex or Lin. True, he'd miss Sammy and Graham a
little, but they weren't really good friends. When he'd first started, everyone
had asked him questions and Graham was the one who'd asked about Lin. And
evidently, one of Graham's cousins had also gone to school with Lex and Bruce,
and had hung out with boys who used to beat both of them up at Excelsior.
Graham said his cousin, Mack or Mick or something, and Oliver Queen were best
buds, but Lian could tell he was lying. Eventually, the three of them, Sammy,
Graham and Lian, came to hang out with each other, and he could tolerate each
of the other boys during the school day, but he never told them anything
important. Lian made sure to keep Lex and Lin and Dad out of all conversations
and just let them chatter on and on. Both Dad and Lex said that knowledge is
power, so Lian just kind of sat back and watched. And learned.
 
But here in Gotham, maybe he and Lin could just stay at home and learn. Lin was
really smart and he could probably graduate now if he wanted. And Lian was
advanced, he knew. He could read Shakespeare and Kant -- and he'd tried, really
tried, to finish Rand, but he just couldn't get through it, no matter how much
Lin liked it -- and explain them to other people, which he'd heard somewhere
was the true test of comprehension. So maybe he would finish school early, too,
and they could all go on a trip somewhere in Europe. He'd like to see England
and the old theaters, and he thought Lin might like the Louvre in Paris and all
those art museums. They could even go see the David in Italy. And Lex and Bruce
and maybe even Liza would be there and they'd just travel the world.
 
It was a nice dream, but it, too, was only that. Like the ones where their mom
and Julia came to live with them, Lian doubted anything would ever come of his
dreams. Lex had won, yes, but Lionel was smart. He was just as smart as any of
them, and he was powerful, and he always got what he wanted.
 
And Julian knew Dad-- Lionel wanted Lin.
 
But that's why they had to stay away from home, that's why Lian and Lin hadn't
gone back with Lex to the hearing.
 
Lionel was dangerous, like a wild animal. But no matter what Lex said, Lian
knew no amount of hugging and squeezing would kill this bear.
 
Lionel was a bad man and, maybe like in all those books Lian read, this bad man
would get his comeuppance in the end. Maybe Lian would be the one to give it to
him, for all the things he'd done to them.
 
For all the things he'd put Lin through.
 
 
***
 
 
He didn't get back into the city until seven that night. Another 45 minutes
from the airport, and then finally the car pulled up in front of Wayne Manor,
and Lex was. . . home. Back in Gotham.
 
It had been only a day and a half since he'd left, but damn if it didn't feel
like a week.
 
He waved the driver away and took up his own bag, himself, climbing the stairs
two and three at a time just to get inside faster. The foyer was lit but empty,
so Lex hoisted his bag a little higher on his shoulder and started towards the
kitchen.
 
The hallway outside it was dim, and when he looked down at the floor, there was
a sliver of yellow light pooling around the door. Pushing it open and stepping
inside, Lex was met with three smiling faces and two calm, blank ones. He
dropped his bag down with a thump and raised his arms just in time to catch
Lian, as the boy grabbed him around the middle, squeezing.
 
"Hey," Lex said, raising his head to look around, while still holding onto
Lian. Alfred had gotten up from the table and was reaching into the oven for a
plate of food. Lex's mouth watered at the sight and he slightly pushed Lian
forward so he could sit down.
 
As Lex walked Lian backwards, Liza started laughing and said, "Julian! Let him
sit down, for heaven's sake."
 
Lian swung out from under Lex's arms and scurried around behind him. He reached
up to put his hands on Lex's shoulders and exaggerated the effort of pushing
him to a seat, leaning forward and screwing his face up in mock-concentration.
 
"Go on, Lex," he said and his face broke into a grin. "Alfred made asparagus
just for you!" He danced away from Lex's grab for him, giggling and almost
jumping up and down in his excitement.
 
As Lex took Lian's abandoned seat, he cast a glance towards Liza and asked,
"Did you give him sugar, or something?"
 
She just smiled at him and shook her head. Alfred set the plate down in front
of him and Lex took a good look at it. Yep, asparagus, just as Lian had said.
 
Lex hated asparagus, but there was no way for Alfred to know that. He smirked
and, taking up fork and knife, gently slid the vegetables further away from the
rest of the food. As Alfred resumed his seat, he raised his eyebrows and said,
"I apologize, Master Lex." He glanced over at first Julian and then Bruce,
before going on. "I was unaware of your distaste for the vegetable, and-- "
 
Lex swallowed his mouthful of potato and cut him off. "It's no problem, Alfred,
really. I suspect, though, that we've both been had."
 
"It appears so, sir."
 
Lex nodded and took a quick peak at Lian standing by the kitchen island. He had
both hands over his mouth and looked a little red in the face. As Lex set about
calmly eating the potatoes and chicken, he saw out of the corner of his eye
that his youngest brother was growing more and more fidgety. Finally,
conversation picked up between Alfred and Liza, with Bruce adding something
here and there, and Lex was able to keep from looking at Lian. However, when he
gave the asparagus a final good shove with his fork before setting down his
silverware, there was a loud snort and then Lian literally collapsed onto the
floor in laughter. Lex looked first at Julian, then over to Alfred. The older
man was smiling widely, his eyes crinkling at the edges. Liza gave a little
giggle of sorts and then brought her hand up to her mouth in surprise, as if
she hadn't meant to do that. Looking over, Lex saw Bruce smirking back at him,
his arms crossed across his chest and that superior look on his face. Colin was
leaning back in his chair watching Lian roll around on the tile floor with a
faint smile.
 
Lin looked tired again, but there was an empty plate in front of him which
boded well. Maybe he'd eaten a full meal tonight. Lex could hope.
 
Gradually, things settled down and Lex stood up to take his bag upstairs.
Alfred began clearing the table with Liza's help, and Julian told Lex that they
were having a chess tournament in the library. The kid then told him not to
"dawdle up there putting stuff away," that they were going to start in 15
minutes and Lex had to be there. Told him, not asked. As he walked up the
stairs, Lex shook his head at how bossy Lian had become. Then he grinned,
remembering what he'd been like at that age. How he still was. . . Lex didn't
have a leg to stand on, and he knew it.
 
 
***
 
 
In the end, Bruce won the so-called tournament by a landslide. First, it'd been
Julian against Colin, which Lin had won to everyone's amusement. But because
Lian had looked so heart-broken, he and Lin teamed up to face off against Lex,
claiming that together they equaled one Bruce. Lex had laughed at that and
looked over at Bruce, who'd merely quirked his lips and taken another sip of
his drink. Lex nevertheless defeated the dynamic duo and went toe-to-toe with
Bruce for the crown. He'd been put in check after only ten minutes, and
officially lost five after that.
 
It had been a pleasant evening, but periodically Lex would look over at Lin and
catch a sad expression on his face, when it was apparent he thought no one was
looking. He hadn't said much of anything all night, just a few whispers to Lian
when they'd played together.
 
Finally Liza came in and dragged Julian away for bed, and it was just the three
of them. There was a fire going in the fireplace, and it, together with the few
lamps that had been turned on at the beginning, gave a sense of calm warmth to
the night. It was November now, and the days were getting shorter and colder.
 
Lex sat in a chair, Bruce just across the way in an identical one. Lin was
sitting on the floor in front of the fire, staring into it with his arms
brought up around his knees. The atmosphere was comforting, but odd. It was too
quiet, but Lex couldn't think of anything to say.
 
"I think I've found a therapist," Bruce said, out of the blue. Lex raised his
eyes and looked at the other man. "For you," he clarified.
 
"Oh?"
 
Bruce nodded. "His name's Daniel Tucker and-- "
 
Bruce suddenly stopped talking and looked past him, over at Colin. Following
his line of sight, Lex turned a bit in his seat and saw an incredulous
expression on his brother's face.
 
"Daniel. . . Tucker?" Lin asked, weakly. His face scrunched up, as though he
were dreading the answer. "You're sure?"
 
Bruce frowned and pursed his lips. "Yes, I'm positive that's the man's name. He
has an incredible track record. Only good things, as far I can tell." He
sounded utterly perplexed as to why anyone would question the man.
 
"What's wrong, Lin?" Lex asked, and Colin turned to look at him. "Do you. . .
did you know him?"
 
Lin just shook his head and smiled bitterly. "We both knew him, Lex," he said.
At Lex's look of confusion, he gave a sharp little laugh and said, "Daniel? He
worked for Dad, remember? The man-made maid?"
 
Lex felt his mouth fall open in shock, and just stared at Lin's rueful face.
 
"I'm missing something, here," came Bruce's voice, and both Lex and Lin turned
to look at him. "This man worked for your father? When? I didn't find anything,
anywhere, about that. I specifically looked for any ties to Lionel, and nothing
came up."
 
Another one of those abrasive laughs, and Lin said, "He was a maid in the
house, not a personal assistant or business associate. He quit, years ago."
 
A speculative look came over Bruce's face at that, and he leaned forward in his
chair slightly, focusing on Colin. "He quit. You're sure?"
 
Lex felt like he was at a tennis match. He looked away from Bruce and back to
Lin, then back to Bruce, then back to--
 
"He quit while I was at Princeton, I think," Lex broke in. Now both sets of
eyes were on him, and he shrugged. "I remember Lian telling me. That first
semester," he looked at Bruce, "when we had that house, remember?"
 
Bruce nodded, leaning back again. He brought a hand up to his face and gave a
heavy sigh. "So, how well did you know him? As a maid?" His lips twitched at
the word 'maid,' but his expression remained serious.
 
When Lex looked over to Lin again, the boy avoided eye contact and stared back
into the fire. "We knew him better than any of the others over the years. He,
uh," Lex smiled at the memory, "he once caught me with a box of illegal
fireworks, and guilted me into getting rid of them." Bruce's eyebrow lifted and
he tilted his head. "He didn't tell Dad, and he was. . . nice." Lex shrugged
and took a healthy gulp of his scotch.
 
"Why did he quit?" Bruce asked. "He went to school at Lanford College here in
the city, and then post-grad at Met U. That must have been while he was working
for Lionel, then."
 
"God, I didn't know what the hell he was studying," Lex said. "Just that he was
only there in the mornings -- had to leave by noon for something." He chuckled.
"What are the chances? I mean, really. You said he had a good record?" Bruce
nodded. "In what, specifically?"
 
"Abuse, mainly. Sexual abuse in children, as a specialty. He volunteers all
over the place, but he has a practice downtown." Here, Bruce smirked and before
taking a sip of his drink said, "Coincidentally, not too far from Fallin &
Fallin."
 
Lex just smiled and shook his head. "I don't believe this. It's like it was
planned. . . or something." A thought came to him, and as much as he didn't
want to acknowledge it, he had to try and see all possibilities. Lex pinned
Bruce with his eyes and asked, "You don't think it's a setup of some kind, do
you? What are the chances of something like this happening?"
 
"Oh, slim to none, I'm sure," he replied. "But that doesn't mean that Lionel
had anything to do with it. It just means I have to do some more
investigating."
 
"What about you, Lin?" Lex asked his brother's back. Colin was still hunched
over, hugging himself, while staring into the fire. "You probably knew Daniel
better than I did. Did he ever mention going into psychology to you?"
 
There was silence, and Lin remained in the same position, didn't move a muscle.
Lex was about to turn back around in defeat when Colin spoke.
 
"We didn't talk much, but I think I know. . . why he might be doing this." Lex
shared a quick glance with Bruce. Doing what? Treating sexually abused kids?
Why would-- ?
 
Oh, God. Oh, no.
 
"Lin?" Lex asked quietly. Carefully. "Did-- did Daniel see. . . something? When
he was working at the house? Is that why he quit?"
 
Bruce looked at Lex sharply, eyebrows drawn down and his mouth compressed into
a thin line. Lex returned the look with his blank stare. Evidently, Bruce
hadn't thought of that. Well, neither had Lex until just now.
 
"I made him leave," Lin whispered. His voice was almost lost over the crackling
fire, it was so quiet.
 
"What'd you do? How could you make him leave?" Lex responded.
 
Lin finally turned around to face them, and the expression on his face was one
of guilt.
 
"He saw, Lex! I came out of-- of the room and he was there. What was I supposed
to do?" Lin was holding his hands out in front of himself, palms up, as though
seeking forgiveness from Lex. "He would have done something to him if I hadn't!
I didn't want to, but he said he was. . . he said I had to leave, and he was
gonna call you, and. . . ruin everything."
 
"Lin," Lex said, in as calm a voice as he could manage. "What did you do?"
 
Colin's eyes were wet as he finally met Lex's gaze.
 
"I threatened him. I pushed him into the wall and I said," he took a deep
breath and on the exhale said, "I told him what would happen if Lionel found
out he knew. He just kept looking at me with this look on his face! I said I'd
lie, tell Lionel that Daniel was selling pictures of all of us to the papers,
or that he was hitting on me. . ." he trailed off and turned his head to the
side, looking away.
 
"Jesus," Lex said, and took another drink. He finished the glass and set it
down on one of the nearby tables. "Look, Colin," he said, as he leaned forward
to rest his arms on his legs. "You were in a no-win situation. You did what you
had to do, okay?"
 
Lin nodded, still not looking at Lex. The firelight caught the glint of a tear
as it slid down his face, and Lex slipped off his chair onto the floor. He
scooted over to Lin and sat next to him, angling his head down and looking up
in an attempt to gain eye contact. Lin was sniffling and as he raised his arm
to no doubt wipe his nose, he glanced at Lex, stopping mid-motion. Lex gave him
a small smile and jerked out a handkerchief. He held it out, and Colin
tentatively reached forward and took it, wiping his eyes and then under his
nose.
 
"You just did what you had to, Lin," Lex said again. He swallowed and then went
on, "And I think you're the bravest person I've ever known."
 
Lin gave a wet chuckle and sniffed again before looking up. He glanced at Lex
before looking over at Bruce, who still sat in his chair. Lex saw something
pass between the two of them -- it wasn't exactly a look, more like a feeling
of kinship or the like -- and he thought it might have something to do with the
talk Bruce said they'd had yesterday.
 
"Bruce?" Lin asked, his voice was thick and scratchy and he wiped his nose
again. "Is it still possible for us to see Daniel? Even if we do know him from
before?"
 
Lex nodded. "Conflict of interest?" he asked Bruce.
 
"I'm not sure if that's necessarily an issue when it comes to therapy, or if it
really applies to this situation," Bruce replied. "But I'll look into it." He
then stood up and said, "Now, I think I'm going to train for a bit." The
corners of his mouth turned up. "You're both welcome to join me, if you like."
 
Lex shot him a look and snorted, and Lin just continued to stare before saying,
"Be careful on those fire escapes. . . Bruce."
 
Lex looked back and forth between them again, back at the tennis match, with no
clue what the rules were. Bruce just raised an eyebrow and nodded, before
smoothly striding out of the library.
 
He turned back to look at Lin just as the kid did the same. Then Lex smiled
again and stood up, reaching a hand down to help him up.
 
"How about some ice cream? Remember how no matter what was wrong, Mom would
always insist on eating ice cream with us?"
 
Lin shook his head, but smiled back. Then he reached up and gripped Lex's hand.
After pulling him up, Lex risked placing an arm around his shoulders, and when
Lin didn't shrug or flinch away he began guiding them out the door and down
towards the kitchen.
 
"She always put sprinkles on yours and nuts on mine," Lin said. "And then
she'd," Lex, figuring out where he was going, started laughing and nodding his
head. "Remember? Then she'd make that face and act all surprised and contrite.
'Oh, my boys, I'm so sorry!'" He said in a high-pitched voice. "'Lex, honey,
you'll just have to make do with sprinkles and, Lin, I don't seem to-- "
 
"' --to have any more,'" Lex said along with him. They'd reached the hallway,
and Lex drew away to bring his hand up to his forehead dramatically while
gesturing wildly with his other arm. Like Lillian had when she'd been playing.
"'Whatever shall we do, my sugar dumplings? Oh, wait! I've an idea! We'll just-
- '"
 
"' --switch them around, hmm?'" they finished together. Lex put an arm on the
banister, leaning forward and supporting himself as he laughed. Lin held both
hands up in front of his mouth and his shoulders shook. Julian had done the
same thing earlier in the kitchen tonight, and looking at Lin, Lex realized
where Lian had picked up that habit. He'd gotten it from Colin.
 
The two of them, were you to place them side by side, would laugh the exact
same laugh, in exactly the same way.
 
Just like brothers.
 
Lex slung an arm around Lin again and they resumed their quest for ice cream.
 
"She always had hers with chocolate syrup, didn't she?" Lin asked. Lex looked
at him and nodded, with a grin. "Yeah," Lin said, a dreamy look on his face and
his eyes far away. "It always looked like she had more syrup than ice cream,
most of the time."
 
"Mom had a really bad sweet tooth," Lex put in. He reached forward and pushed
the door open for Lin, saying, "I remember when I was little, five or six
maybe, she. . . "
 
It continued like that for a while, trading stories and remembering all the
stupid things they'd done together in the name of adventure. When he asked why
Lin always went along with his ideas, even when Lex was sure they'd been
incredibly stupid and the boy hadn't wanted to, Lin gave him a strange look, as
if Lex had suddenly started talking in Faroese.
 
"You were my big brother, Lex. I would have followed you wherever you wanted to
go." Then Lin gave him a shy little look and looked down at the table, while he
said, "I'd still follow you, anywhere."
 
 
***
 
 
Amazingly, when Lex finally made it upstairs that night, Bruce was actually
asleep in the master suite's bed. He wasn't snoring, or doing anything that
would immediately indicate his unconscious state, but by the looseness of his
limbs and the haphazard way he was lying, Lex could tell Bruce was sound
asleep. It was a rare sight, Bruce so unguarded and vulnerable, and maybe
that's why the man seemed to actively avoid sleep.
 
Lex went into the bathroom and cleaned up for bed, then padded over and quietly
shifted under the sheets. Bruce had pulled the covers up over his head at some
point while Lex had been in the bathroom, and he tried not to laugh at the
sheer childishness of that. Like a little boy begging for just five more
minutes, Bruce, half asleep and groggy, had made himself a nest to block out
the light coming from the bathroom.
 
Lex and sleep had a love/hate relationship at the best of times, and tonight he
found it was definitely on the hate slide of the scale. His mind wouldn't stop
whirring with random thoughts, and lying awake next to someone so deep in sleep
-- Bruce, for heaven's sake, was even sleeping -- while he, himself, couldn't
manage to slip under, was making him irritable. He looked over at the clock
display, and breathed out heavily when he read 3:22.
 
An arm slipping around his waist and the slow slither of moving sheets made him
turn his head. When Lex looked to his right, he was met with Bruce's open eyes.
The drapes hadn't been drawn closed over the windows, and the room was filled
with sporadic moonlight, as the giant full moon passed behind clouds and back
out again. It showed him dark eyes and a large expanse of smooth skin.
 
"Hey," Lex said. He reached up and placed his hand over the arm across his
stomach. "Sorry if I woke you."
 
"No. You didn't," Bruce whispered, eyes sliding shut just before he leaned in
to kiss Lex on the lips. Lex kissed him back, moving his other hand up to
Bruce's hair and forcing their mouths closer together. He slipped his tongue
into Bruce's mouth, and was rewarded with a low rumbling moan.
 
They broke apart, Bruce's head coming to rest in the crook of Lex's neck. As he
began giving wet kisses to his neck and slow strokes of his hands up and down
Lex's sides, Lex slid a leg between Bruce's and wrapped it around the other
man's calf.
 
Bruce suddenly moved back towards his side of the bed, and after a moment Lex
realized he was going for the drawer with the supplies. He contented himself
with the nice view of Bruce's backside the action afforded him, gliding his
hand from shoulder blade down, down to ass and thighs.
 
"God, Lex," Bruce breathed out, surging back across the bed to take Lex's face
in his hands. Lex managed a glance towards the condoms and lube beside him,
before he was caught up and kissed, that clever mouth sucking and licking.
Bruce's mouth teased his lips, nibbling at the corner of his mouth, then tongue
slipping inside briefly before darting down to resume his earlier attentions to
his neck. Lex repositioned his leg to rest just under Bruce's ass, as he
clutched and petted the man's back.
 
"Oh," he gasped, as Bruce bit down suddenly. He then kissed and licked there,
blowing air down and causing Lex to writhe underneath him. Lex's mouth fell
open and when Bruce bent his head back down to do it again, he dug his nails
into the man's shoulder blades, stopping him.
 
"Jesus, you're like some kind of cat!" Bruce hissed out.
 
"Enough foreplay. Come on." Lex flung one hand wide, searching for the lube.
Finding it, he brought it close and flicked open the lid. Then he stopped,
tilting his head and holding it out for Bruce. "Do you want to? Or shou-- ?"
 
Lex didn't even finish getting the words out. Bruce took the small tube from
him and squeezed out a bit before tossing it carelessly behind him. Then,
reaching down, he slipped two fingers inside Lex, all the while staring
straight into his eyes. He was pinning him down with his hand, and his eyes,
and his body, and Lex licked his lips while struggling to keep his eyes open.
 
Two fingers stretching him open, then three and Lex was feeling almost too
good. Bruce's face was so close to his, that his every exhale puffed across
Lex's lips. They were both breathing heavily, practically panting, and Bruce's
fingers fucking him were about to tip him over the edge.
 
He dropped one of his hands down from where he'd been gripping Bruce's arms,
and shuffled it around in search of a condom. Finally grasping one, he held it
up, watching as those eyes fell half-shut and that teasing little smirk came
back.
 
"Your wish is my command," Bruce whispered. Then he was ripping the packet open
and as he looked down to put it on, his hair slid forward across his forehead.
Lex's breath caught in his chest. Beautiful Bruce. Moonlight limned his body,
and the way his hair flopped over his face made him look years younger. . . and
worlds more innocent.
 
Then he was looking down at Lex again, running a hand up his thigh and pushing
it closer to Lex's chest. Lex smiled at him and pushed his legs wider, bringing
both up to circle around Bruce's hips.
 
Bruce then leaned down to kiss him, one arm supporting himself, and the other.
. . and just as his tongue again curled around Lex's, he slid into him in one
smooth thrust. Lex gasped, and Bruce continued kissing at his open mouth,
pulling his hips back and thrusting in again, even deeper this time.
 
They moved against each other, Bruce seeming to move closer and closer with
each thrust, and Lex lifting himself up to meet him every time. Soon it became
too difficult to focus on kissing as well as what their bodies were doing, and
Bruce's forehead came to rest on Lex's. When their eyes were barely an inch
apart, and Bruce's whispered "Lex" hit his ears, he came. His eyes closed and
he squeezed Bruce's shoulders as he soared. Four more quick thrusts and Bruce
groaned out his own orgasm. Lex watched contentedly as first he went still,
then relaxed all at once, moving his body to the side as he collapsed on the
bed.
 
Minutes later, as Bruce settled back after disposing of the condom, their legs
and arms again wrapped and tangled around each other. Lex's come was drying on
his chest, but at that moment the world made sense. And when he turned his head
to look at Bruce, he saw him staring up at the ceiling with one of the most
open, loving expressions Lex had ever seen on his face.
 
 
***
 
 
The next day was a Thursday, which by itself meant nothing, but that morning at
breakfast, Alfred said that Thursdays were the days he did his shopping and did
Master Lex need anything?
 
Lex didn't need anything, no, but Lin did. He tried to phrase it in a way that
wouldn't make either of them uncomfortable or embarrassed, but knew he hadn't
managed it. In the end, Alfred said he would take both Lin and Lian shopping,
claiming a day out in the world would be good for them. He pointed out that
they all needed heavy winter clothing, as winter was fast approaching, and that
he could slip in the buying of underwear for Lin very quickly and quietly.
 
Breakfast was surprisingly comfortable. Alfred made them all omelets, and when
he told Julian that both he and Lin were going shopping with him, the boy
grabbed Liza's arm and asked her if she was coming, too. Lex couldn't tell
exactly what Lian was feeling, but after a quick look shared between the
adults, Liza said she would be delighted to tag along and Lian relaxed back
into his chair. Lin, meanwhile, looked at Lex the whole time, raising an
eyebrow and curling his lips into a smirk that bore more than a passing
resemblance to one of Lionel's.
 
Hours later, with everyone else out of the house, Lex went in search of Bruce.
He looked in the library and the study, even down in the kitchen, knowing Bruce
wouldn't be there but running out of ideas. He recalled the directions he'd
been given to the 'Training Room,' as Alfred had called it, and began the walk
down the hall towards it. When he pushed the door open, lights automatically
came on and suddenly he was inside a dojo/weight room/meditation chamber. All
of the different aspects of the room blended and fitted together seamlessly -
- the Japanese rock garden not a foot away from the bench press, and yet
somehow neither seeming out of place.
 
Looking around, Lex saw no sign of Bruce and quietly withdrew from the room. As
he turned around after closing the door, he came face to face with the man and
gasped in shock.
 
Putting a hand to his chest, Lex wheezed out, "Good God, you startled me."
 
"Were you exploring?" Bruce asked, with amusement. "I suppose I could have
given you a tour." He turned around to walk back down the hall, and Lex
followed slowly after him.
 
"No, I was actually looking for you," he said. "I wanted to ask you to. . . I
need you to do me a favor."
 
"Oh, really," Bruce replied. He made a turn towards the study. "What kind of
favor?" he leered.
 
Lex chuckled. "Not the kind you're thinking of, that's for sure," he said, and
gave a brief shake of his head.  Bruce held the door open for Lex, following
after him and closing it. He walked over to sit by the window, the same one
where they'd all met with Nick that first time, and gestured for Lex to take a
seat across from him.
 
Once they'd settled into the chairs, Lex continued. "I'd forgotten about it
until this morning, but last week Lin told me. . . well, sort of told me. . .
Anyway," he said, with a wave of his hand. "He said that there was another boy
at the Centre." He leaned forward and rested his forearms on his legs. "Lin
showed me a drawing he'd done from memory, and in it were two boys restrained
to two separate gurneys. One had wires and several tubes from IV's coming out
of him, and the other was Colin."
 
"Did he say who this boy was?"
 
"Just that his name's Lucas. I'm not -- I'm not sure what this means, but I've
got this feeling that there's more to it than just Lionel finding another stray
to experiment on."
 
Bruce had that dark expression on his face, the one that always made Lex glad
he was on the man's good side. "What else would there be to it?" Bruce asked,
his brow furrowing.
 
Lex shook his head and replied, "I don't know, that's what we need to find
out." He looked into Bruce's eyes. "That's what I need your help in figuring
out. It's just a. . . gut feeling, Bruce. I can't put it into words what's
wrong, but something is."
 
"Yeah," he said, distractedly. He'd brought his hand up to his cheek, and was
leaning on it as he looked out the window. Not looking at Lex, Bruce asked,
"I'll see what I can find out -- go through what records Lionel did keep and. .
. " Then he turned and, dropping his arm down, focused on Lex again. "I'll have
to talk to Colin. If I can get an idea of what this 'Lucas' looks like, I might
be able to match him up to a 'Missing Person' -- depending on how much time's
passed and how old he was to begin with."
 
Lex was nodding and mentally crossed his fingers, hoping Bruce would be able to
help.
 
"You're a genius at this type of thing. I know you'll find something," he said,
encouragingly.
 
Bruce just looked over at him and chuckled. "Flattery will get you everywhere
in our world, Lex, but you don't need to use it with me."
 
"It wasn't flattery," he replied with a mock-pout. "I was simply expressing my
confidence in your abilities."
 
"Mmm-hmm."
 
"Well," Lex huffed, standing up. "I think I'll go and find something to read."
He turned and began walking towards the door. Just as he was turning the knob,
Bruce's voice called out.
 
"Lex" and without waiting for him to turn around, Bruce said, "I will do my
best to find out what happened at the Centre. . . and who Lucas really is."
 
Lex looked over his shoulder at him, and saw Bruce assessing his mood. Lex
smiled. "I know you will. Come up and find me later." Bruce nodded, and Lex
turned and opened the door. He walked out of the study, closing the door behind
him, and started up the stairs to the library.
 
 
***
 
 
That night, they all ate in the kitchen again, and Lex decided to have a talk
later with Bruce and Alfred about eating there all the time from now on. It was
less formal than anywhere else Lex, Lin, or Lian had ever eaten, and it seemed
to be doing them good. Julian could chatter and ramble on to his heart's
content, and Lin was gradually eating more during each meal.
 
"We went to this big store, Lex!" Lian exclaimed, drawing him back into what
was going on. Lian's face was bright and flushed with excitement, and it warmed
Lex's heart to see that happiness written so clearly. "Lin and I got new coats
-- mine is blue! -- and then Liza took Lin off to get some stuff, and Alfred
and I went to look at shoes."
 
Lex glanced at Liza and when she met his eyes, nodded to her, hoping she'd get
the message. Evidently she did, for she shook her head a little and gave him a
tight smile, her eyes showing a bit of sadness.
 
" --and then we each got a hot chocolate, only Liza had them put in some
caramel, or something. Right, Liza?" he asked, looking over to her. Upon her
nod, Lian turned back to Lex and grinned. "It was the best day ever! I had so
much fun." Julian got up and walked across the kitchen to Alfred. Lex couldn't
hear what he said to the man, but from the kind expression on Alfred's face, he
figured Lian had thanked him.
 
Turning back, Lex saw Lin was the only one still eating, the rest of them
having finished awhile ago. It was something he'd just started doing, eating
slowly. He'd stretch it out, so that he was always the last one finished. Lex
had an idea what Colin was trying to do, whether consciously, or not. It was
safe to assume that meals here with Bruce, Alfred and Liza were a great deal
more pleasant than those back with Lionel. And if Lin felt safe here, and
enjoyed sitting down and talking and eating with all of them. . . then perhaps
he wanted it to last as long as he could make it. Eating slowly was certainly
one way to do that.
 
"So, what about you, Lin?" Lex asked. "Did you enjoy your day of shopping?"
 
Lin turned his head around from his focus on Lian and Alfred, and looked at
Lex. He swallowed his mouthful and then nodded.
 
"I did," he said. Lin's eyes grew distant and unfocused, and his head tilted
ever so slightly to the left as he spoke. "It started snowing as we came out of
the coffee shop, and everywhere you looked -- black coats and hats, and black
cars and buildings -- it all became brighter. Everything turned grey and white,
and it wasn't so dark anymore."
 
Lin gradually came out of his thoughts and looked at Lex again. He smiled and
said, "It was clean and beautiful. Next time we go out, you and Bruce will have
to come, Lex."
 
Lex smiled back.
 
 
***
 
 
That night after dinner, Lex held Lin back and asked him to come and speak with
them. Bruce had said that he needed to talk to Colin about Lucas, and Lex
figured it might be best just to get it out of the way.
 
Lin just looked at him, staring into Lex's eyes like he was. . . searching for
something.
 
"Sure," Lin said after a moment. "In the office, or where?"
 
"Wherever you'd feel most comfortable. It doesn't matter, as long as you're
okay."
 
Lin looked behind Lex, where Lian and Liza were helping Alfred clean up. At
least, Liza was helping. Lian seemed to be just getting in the way and
chattering excitedly at them.
 
"Lian should be there." Lex raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth to say
something, but Lin cut him off. "You exclude him too much. He's a good kid, a
smart one, and he should hear this stuff. Better now from me than. . . later."
He grimaced and looked at Lex meaningfully. "You know if we don't tell him,
then he will. He'll use it against us, make you and me and Bruce out to be the
bad guys." A hard, serious look came over Lin's face, then. "Lian doesn't
deserve to be a pawn, Lex."
 
Looking back over towards the sink, Lex nodded and gave a heavy sigh. He had
been protecting Lian, and doing so now would only leave him wide open for
Lionel to manipulate later. Julian deserved to know what kind of man his father
was, and what he'd done. Lin had been in that Centre for years, and if that
drawing he'd done the other day was any indication of how he'd been treated. .
. then Lionel had a lot to answer for.
 
"Library," Lin said. Lex turned back to look at him, and saw Lin's gaze was
still on Lian -- now splashing around in the sink and trying to wash the
dishes. "We should talk in the library, not Bruce's office. It's too gloomy and
sad there." He met Lex's eyes and asked, "Is that okay?"
 
"Of course," he replied, nodding. "I'll go tell Bruce, and we'll meet you guys
upstairs." He gave Lin a little smile and patted his shoulder, before glancing
at Lian on his way out. Colin would stay and watch the three of them at the
sink, maybe he'd even sketch it. But Lex knew Lin would never attempt to join
in. He'd remain apart and hide himself in the corner, and Lex was gradually
coming to accept the fact that nothing any one of them could say would convince
him that he was wanted and loved. Lin would have to see the truth for himself -
- that Julian and Lex, and Bruce, Alfred and Liza, even, loved him and wanted
him around. No one could force him to change.
 
 
***
 
 
Lin and Julian came into the library about 15 minutes later. Lex was leaning on
the mantel, his back to the fire, and Bruce had taken his usual seat off to the
side -- in the darkest part of the room, of course.
 
Lian was smiling and looking up at Lin as the two of them got closer, but Lin
was somber and met Lex's eyes only briefly before shifting them down to the
floor. He and Lian sat on the couch, and Lex stepped away from the fireplace to
take a seat opposite Bruce. He eased back into his chair and brought a leg up
to rest on his knee.
 
Sharing a look with Bruce, Lex then gestured for the other man to take the
lead. Bruce nodded and turned to look at Lin.
 
"Lex said you mentioned another boy at that Centre, one named Lucas? Could you
tell me more about him? Anything else that might help me figure out who he is."
 
Lin shifted on the sofa, keeping his eyes lowered and focused on his hands. He
was picking at the thumbnail of his right hand, and Lex resisted the urge to go
over there and wrap his own hands around Lin's.
 
"You don't need to do that," Lin said, eyes still down. "He wasn't-- he didn't
belong to anyone, not to anyone who'd miss him, anyway."
 
"What do you mean, Lin?" Lex asked. He carefully kept his voice low and steady,
and the thought popped into his head that he was treating Lin like a spooked
horse. Colin shook his head in a jerky motion, quick as though he were
frustrated. Studying him, Lex recognized it as the same thing he'd done when he
was little and couldn't find the right words to express himself.
 
"Lucas was. . . Lucas was his. Lionel's," he said, and Lex felt himself holding
his breath. "He was there almost as long as I was. I remember. They came into
the room, and he had his hand on Lucas' shoulder and-- " Lin raised his head
and looked at Lex. "I was never told, not directly, but there were times when
I'd look and. . . see they looked the same." His head tilted to the side and
Lin gave a bitter little smirk. "And then when Lian was old enough, I knew. I
figured it out."
 
Lex was just on the cusp of hearing it, hearing Lin confirm his suspicion, and
at that moment he wished with everything he had that none of it would be true.
It wasn't something he wanted to believe.
 
"What?" Lian asked. He was sitting close to Lin and looking up at him, and the
expression on his face made Lex inwardly cringe. It was despair and heartbreak,
and the anxiety that comes when you know something bad is about to happen.
 
Lin looked straight at Lex and said, "Lucas is his son. He's Lionel's son."
 
"His son?" Lex asked, and it didn't matter that he'd thought of it, that he'd
considered the possibility not three seconds ago. . . he was still shocked
speechless. "Which would mean he was-- "
 
" --our brother," Lin finished, nodding. "Half-brother, actually. To you and
Lian."
 
Lex shook his head. "I don't care about where you came from. You're still part
of this family, whether you think so or not. Lucas is your brother, too."
 
"Wha-- " Lian's voice began, but he broke off. "What happened there? What'd he
do to you, Lin?"
 
And suddenly it was like looking at a mannequin wearing Lin's clothes. His face
went perfectly blank and his whole body stilled, barely moving even to breathe.
He dropped his head down again and the move was stiff, almost robotic. It was
unnerving, and sent a chill down Lex's spine.
 
"You don't have to say everything, Colin," came Bruce's low voice. "We want to
know so we can help you. Because we both know you aren't dealing with anything,
not really." He leaned forward so that he was only a few inches away from Lin
and said, "Get it out and you won't be so alone. The three of us, we'll be
there, too, and we won't let anything happen again, I swear. Lin," Bruce said,
and his voice was that low rumble that commanded attention. Lin turned his head
to the right, and looked at Bruce out of the corner of his eye. "I swear he
won't lay a hand on you ever again. Never on you, or Julian, or Lex."
 
Lin swallowed and gave a small nod. He took a deep breath, holding it in for a
long time before breathing out in a gust.
 
"I really don't remember the first bit, when I was there. . . right after-
- after I landed." He was scratching at his hand again, but Lex didn't want to
stop him, so he tried to ignore it. "But it's all white in there. Everywhere.
There's a room that I stay in, and when I'm supposed to be somewhere else,
someone comes in and gets me. And they're all in white, too.
 
"It wasn't always. . . I mean, it didn't used to be so rough. They'd show me
what to do -- run around or stay still, or whatever -- and I'd do it, and that
was all." Lin reached up and combed his fingers though his hair, and Lex could
tell he'd forgotten it was so short now. His expression became confused as his
hand reached the back of his head, before quickly going blank again once he'd
apparently remembered.
 
"And then, one day he came in. Lionel. He came into my room and he wasn't
wearing white. He was the only person I could remember seeing who wasn't big
and white." Lin looked at Lex and clarified, "They wear suits, those hazmat
things? Everyone does. . . except him and Lucas."
 
Lin looked into the fire again.
 
"He sat down on the floor that first time, right next to me, and he started
talking." He shook his head. "I couldn't understand what he was saying, but he
just kept going on. Eventually, I think he gave up because he stood and started
walking towards the door. And I-- I got up after him and I grabbed his pant
leg. I didn't want him to leave. He was the only one who'd ever sat down with
me, the only one who'd talked and wasn't this scary white blur."
 
Lex didn't even know he was crying until he felt a tear drop onto his hand. He
looked at Lin and realized that in the beginning, he'd loved Lionel, too. Lex
could remember looking at his dad and thinking him the best man ever alive, the
greatest. He could remember loving that man, and it would make sense for a
lost, sad little alien boy to latch onto the first person to sit down and treat
him like he was real.
 
"But then he was always there, it seemed," Lin said. His voice was calm, almost
monotone, and he remained staring at the fire as he spoke. "Looking and
watching. He brought in someone to teach me English, and then they could tell
me what to do. There weren't-- there weren't any real experiments until after
Lucas came. They'd tell me to sit on the table and then one of them would strap
me onto it. Tie me, or chains, sometimes.
 
"One day, I remember, he brought Lucas into the room and they put him on the
table next to me, and he tried to talk to me, Lucas did. He asked me, 'Is it
nice, here?'" Lin gave a wet laugh, and sniffed. "And I asked him what it was
like in another place. I hadn't been outside ever, that I could remember, and I
wanted to know what trees sounded like."
 
Lin grimaced and sniffed again before putting his hands up to his face. Lex
felt he should go over there and give him a hug, but couldn't find the will to
move. Bruce was sitting back in his chair again, his cheek resting on a hand
and that powerful, angry scowl on his face. His eyes were like chips of arctic
ice and Lex had to look away, rather than take the risk of meeting them. He
looked over to Colin again and saw Lian leaning against him. The little boy's
arms were around him, and his head was lying on Lin's shoulder. He had the
saddest look on his face that Lex had ever seen, and it was that which made him
stand up and walk over to the sofa.
 
Lex crouched down in front of Lin and reached up to take his hands.
 
"At first, you loved him, didn't you?" he asked, quietly. Not waiting for an
answer, he went on, "And he seemed like he was great and good, and like he
loved you, that he made everything that was good in your life happen." He
sighed, and looked up quickly when Lin squeezed his hands. Lin wasn't staring
into the fire anymore; his tearful eyes were trained solely on Lex's.
 
"And it was so devastating when you realized he wasn't good, that he didn't
give you any happiness." Lex said the next carefully, trying not to put too
much of himself into it. "You came to see that the man you thought was a god
was actually the cause of all the pain, and no matter how much you loved him
he'd never feel the same for you. But, Lin," Lex reached up and curled his hand
around Lin's cheek. "It isn't anything you did that made him not love you. He's
not capable of love, not for anyone. He never loved Mom, I don't think, and he
never loved me. And if he can't love you and Lian," Lex blinked his eyes
rapidly, trying to keep the tears from falling, "two of the best people in the
world, then there's something wrong with him, not you. You didn't do anything
wrong."
 
He could hear Julian sniffling, and the squeak of leather as Bruce slightly
shifted in his seat, but all Lex saw was that sad face looking at him. Those
wet eyes that brought everything back, all the memories of growing up with Lin
and looking out for him, and reminded Lex that here was the unconditional love
he'd always craved. Their mother had loved them like that, but she was gone,
now. It was just the three of them. They had to look out for each other.
 
Poor Lian was full-out crying, now, so Lex reached over and picked up one of
the boy's hands, holding it tight in his own.
 
"He's a horrible person, but you don't belong to him. You are your own person,
Lin, and I love you no matter what you can do. I love both of you," he said,
leaning in closer to Julian and butting his head up against the boy. Lian
sniffed and smiled a tiny smile.
 
"You live here now, you know," he finished. "He doesn't even have the right to
see you."
 
Lin placed his arm around Lian and then gently laid a hand on Lex's shoulder.
 
"I love you, too, Lex." He turned his head and looked over at Bruce. "And you,
too, Tinman," he smiled.
 
"So who does that make you, then?" Bruce asked, with a straight face.
 
"Oh, I'm the Scarecrow, I think."
 
"Please, do not carry this analogy any further," Lex whined. "I refuse to
debate which one of us is Dorothy or Toto. Or that damned lion."
 
"That's all right," Lin said. "I never liked that movie, anyway. The flying
monkeys freak me out."
 
Lex chuckled, as he rose to his feet. He squeezed down on the couch between the
two of them, snuggling Lian up to his side, and slouching down so he could lay
his head back.
 
"I think monkeys are scary in general, never mind the kind that flies."
 
"Lex once had a traumatic experience at the zoo," Bruce said, with a smirk.
 
"I was only there because you dragged me along! I had better things to do than
suffer through another dedication. It's always the same thing: in honor of so-
and-so's generous donation to the blah, blah, blah, we hereby name this. . .
whatever, after him."
 
"You're just upset because you ignored all the signs and fed the animals. It
served you right that one of the monkeys stole your favorite pair of
sunglasses."
 
Lian giggled next to him, and Lex looked down at him, giving him a little
squeeze. Julian looked up and scrunched his nose in confusion. "Why would you
feed the animals, Lex?"
 
"Well," he said, at a loss. "They kept looking at my plate, and so finally I
decided that maybe they'd like some caviar-- "
 
"You gave the monkeys caviar?" Lin snorted, and Lian giggled again. Bruce, the
smug bastard, just sat over there smirking at Lex's discomfort.
 
"Okay, so I'd had a little too much champagne, all right? It seemed like a good
idea at the time." Which made all three of them laugh at him, and Lex wasn't
getting anywhere with this explanation.
 
After awhile, they all calmed down again. Lex was just settling into
drowsiness, when Bruce's voice sounded.
 
"I actually think the lemur looked better in those shades than you did. The
purple really brought out its eyes."
 
And being embarrassed was a small price to pay indeed, for the chance to hear
Lin burst out laughing.
 
 
***
 
 
Intersect
 
 
Some days, it felt like he moved through quicksand. Each step just pushed him
deeper and deeper into the abyss, and the more he tried to break free of it
all, the closer he came to the darkness. It had never been easy for him to
accept defeat, and that's what asking for help was. It was admitting that what
you were and what you did wasn't enough to make it. Rationally, logically,
intellectually, he knew that was bullshit, but when you lived inside your own
head as much as Bruce did, the deep rough voice of yourself became your guiding
force.
 
The laws of society had never helped him. Criminals allowed to roam free,
shooting innocent people only trying to help, and the law said to just stand
back and watch it happen. Don't step in, don't do what you are able, what you
were trained for. Don't, Bruce Wayne -- that's what the world said to him.
Don't do anything of importance, love no one and nothing, waste all that you
ever were and bury it all in mind-clouding substances, have children you hate
and never wanted, fuck everyone you can and never say a serious word in your
entire life. . . because your family has always had money and it's your duty to
step up and show the world what it's missing.
 
You sit down, Mr. Wayne, or I'll put you in detention.
 
But he wasn't going to sit anymore. There was something inside him that forced
this shifting of priorities. He had seen the truth up on that mountain. His
head had been held under the cold, bitter water of 'what was and what is now' -
- and he might as well kill himself as to allow the evil to go on unchallenged.
 
When they were in school together and Bruce got angry, Lex had used to say,
'Pick your battles, Bruce. Do you fight for everything, or do you save yourself
for the war?' And now he understood what Lex had meant. Years and countries
later, Bruce could finally see what he must do. This was his war, and it was
time he started fighting, show the world that he would fight, even if it were
as Batman. Drown those who did evil simply because they could, in those dark
waters of the truth. Show the criminals 'what was and what is now' and let them
quiver in fear before the Batman.
 
He would be the judge until someone else came forward. This world needed a
champion, and until someone greater came, Bruce would take up the mantle.
 
 
***
 
 
Gotham was always a dark city, but at night he felt as though he were
underground. The sky above was pitch black and blank of stars, the streets full
of grey snow and dark shadows. In the alleys, every noise echoed and
reverberated and the whole world smelled of dirt and despair.
 
It was the perfect city for the Bat.
 
A rapist tried to take a girl right below him, and the look of terror on that
animal's face when he caught him made Batman grin in triumph.
 
"You'll get out of here," he whispered into the man's ear in front of the
corrupt police station, minutes later. He held him in a grip of iron, and
stared that piece of filth down and told him, "And when you do, you'll tell
about me. I'm here for you and for all your kind." Then Batman leaned in even
closer, a few police officers beginning to trickle out of the building.
 
"Gotham is mine now, and your days are numbered."
 
A simple smoke explosion, and he was holding on as the grappling gun did its
job. They scurried around down there like ants, but his rapist was the only one
looking up. Batman crouched next to a gargoyle and watched his city in its
darkest hour.
 
He would save it. He could do it. He knew with the whole of himself that he
could. He would do it for his mother and father, the memories of their smiles
and the times his dad would tickle him. He would do this for Alfred, who had
always been there. He could save this city because he was loved, and because he
loved. Lex. Lex, who loved Bruce, and whom Bruce craved to be around so
desperately.
 
For Lex and Julian: the only good things Lionel had ever created.
 
And Colin, who was a god and didn't yet realize all the possibilities this
world held for him. Bruce would save this city, this world. . . until that god
was ready. And then Batman would help and fight alongside him, and together
they would send every black heart down to Hell.
 
Batman had the means, but Bruce was the catalyst. He would save, and he did it
for the people -- those he didn't know and those he did, those few he loved -
- but he did it also for himself. This was what that small voice inside him
wanted. This was for that eight year old boy who'd watched as his parents were
shot, held his father's cold hand as he died. As he whispered, his eyes so sad
and beseeching, 'Don't be afraid, Bruce.'
 
This was for that boy, that orphan, who for the first time since that night
finally felt no fear.
 
 
***
 
 
When he woke up that morning, it was to the sight of Bruce standing in front of
the window, looking out.
 
"Hey," Lex rasped, sleepily.
 
Bruce turned around, and Lex could see he held a folded newspaper in his hand.
 
"Hey, yourself," he replied, with a barely noticeable uplift to his mouth. He
came close to the bed and held out the paper. "I thought you'd better see
this."
 
Lex sighed and reached out, unfolding the newspaper as though it might contain
a snake, ready to strike. And a part of him wasn't at all surprised to see the
headline -- or the byline. In fact, that pessimistic, fatalistic, pragmatic
part of him had been shocked that there'd been nothing like this sooner.
 
"Luthor Sons Battle Father" was the main headline. And underneath that, 'DA to
Press Charges of Rape and Abuse Against Lionel Luthor.'
 
Lex bit his lip and folded the paper up again, laying it down on the bedside
table and looking at Bruce.
 
"It. . . could be worse," he said. "I'm not sure how, exactly, but. . . And the
article certainly didn't take his side, so. . ." Lex trailed off uncertainly.
 
"You saw who wrote it?" Bruce asked, quietly. His hands were in his pockets and
he loomed over the bed, fierce scowl firmly affixed on his face.
 
"I did," Lex nodded. "Actually," he hesitated. "There was an article in The
Daily Planet the other day. Also by Aerson. Though, that one only gave the fact
that I have custody of Lin and Lian. Nothing about what kind of charges are
being filed, or anything like that."
 
Bruce nodded, and looked away. His eyes became unfocused, and Lex knew he was
thinking hard. He reached out and grabbed one of Bruce's hands, tugging on it.
 
"Sit down, for Chrissake," he said. "You're making me nervous, hovering like
that." He scooted over to make room for Bruce, as the man carefully sat down on
the edge of the bed.
 
"Well, obviously Aerson made contact with someone in the DA's office. I mean,
we don't even know what the exact charges are." He looked up suddenly, pinning
Lex with his gaze. "I looked into this Aerson guy. His name sounded familiar,
but I couldn't put my finger on where I'd heard it. And then I found a
biography of him, which listed his relatives -- mother, father, grandparents."
He paused significantly. "And his brother. Can you guess what his name is?"
 
Lex rolled his eyes. "Chance. Chance is this 'Thom Aerson's' brother. Look,
Bruce, I thought as much back in Metropolis. I just wanted to wait and see if
anything came of it." He leaned back, putting a hand over his eyes. "God, why
is this news? People need to get out more, if they think this shit is gossip-
worthy."
 
"People like it when great men are brought low. Then there are the stock-
holders and investors to think about. And also many who simply want to see
Lionel suffer, myself among them."
 
Lex snorted. "Me, too." He put his hand down and looked at Bruce again. "Has
Colin seen this?"
 
Bruce shook his head. "No, Alfred brought this to me first."
 
Then something strange happened. Lex was looking at Bruce and, as they weren't
far apart, that's why he was able to catch it. Bruce shifted ever so slightly,
then looked down at his hands. When he brought his head up again, Lex swore he
saw nervousness on his face. Bruce? Nervous?
 
"I also wanted you to see the other leading article, so that's why I brought it
myself," Bruce said.
 
Lex frowned, reaching past Bruce to pick up the newspaper again. This time he
flipped it over and read the headline below the fold of the front page.
 
And felt his eyebrows rise and his mouth drop.
 
He looked up and asked, "This? This is-- Bruce, what the hell did you do?"
 
"What needed to be done," was the cold reply. Lex dropped the paper and gripped
one of Bruce's hands in both of his.
 
"What are you doing? This stuff. . . is so dangerous and-- Why? Why now?"
 
Bruce looked down at their clasped hands and gave a heavy sigh. He turned one
of Lex's hands over, studying it as he spoke.
 
"I look at the world, and all I see are ways I could make it better. I see
people like your father. They sit on their thrones and nothing can touch them.
But. . . that's not true, anymore, is it?" he asked, meeting Lex's eyes. "He'll
pay, finally, and if you and I can do that for Colin, for the world, then think
of what else we could accomplish." Bruce squeezed the hand he'd been studying,
tightly. "I have to try, Lex. I have to."
 
And the truth was, it made sense. Somehow, Bruce taking up vigilantism made
perfect sense, like Lex should have expected it. And it occurred to him that
perhaps for every time Lex, himself, had felt powerless and weak. . . Bruce
had, too. He always thought of Bruce as being so strong and sure, but looking
back on what had happened to him when he was young, and how he'd. . . not dealt
with it, Lex realized that Bruce's mask hid more than just his emotions. It hid
his doubt and insecurity. . . and his fear.
 
He squeezed Bruce's hand back and smiled. "I know you do," he said.
 
 
***
 
 
Lin wasn't at the breakfast table when Lex got there. Alfred was putting a bowl
of fruit in front of Bruce, and Liza was munching away at a piece of toast, but
no Lin in sight.
 
Lex met Julian's worried eyes, and crouched down beside his chair.
 
"Where's Lin?" he asked.
 
"He's drawing in the library," Lian mumbled, eyes shifting down to his oatmeal.
 
"For how long?"
 
Lian looked up, and Lex read the anxiety there.
 
"He was there last night. In the same place as he is this morning."
 
Jesus Christ. Lex nodded, clapping Lian on the back as he stood. Then he turned
around and left the kitchen. He took the stairs two at a time, jogging down the
hall until he reached the library. Both doors were shut, and he took a deep
breath before pushing one in and entering the room.
 
Lin was seated at a wide table, his back to the door. And surrounding him -
- scattered over the floor and shuffled into piles on the table and nearby
chairs -- were drawings, sheaves of them. Tons of pencil sketches and ink
drawings, and, as Lex came closer, even a stack of papers covered and detailed
in blue and red marker. Lex stood down the table a ways, glancing at the
artwork, while trying not to be too obvious in looking at Lin. He was even now
in the midst of completing another drawing, bold red marker in hand.
 
It was as Lex was studying a rather surrealistic city-scape that Lin stopped
working. He'd just registered the fact that the scratching and squeaking of the
marker had stopped, when Lin spoke.
 
"I can feel the sun, sometimes," he whispered, and Lex tensed at his words. His
whole body felt shivery and jittery. He looked over, but Lin's eyes were still
on the paper in front of him. The marker held firmly in his hand hovered over
the drawing, poised and ready.
 
"When I'm there -- in the white room -- and dawn comes. . . I can feel it.
There aren't any windows, so the light can't reach me, but it's like a shock of
electricity straight through my body when the sun finally overcomes the
horizon."
 
Lex circled around the table, moving in front of it in the hopes he could
better see Lin's face. He first tried bending over and looking, but when that
proved futile, he crouched down on his haunches.
 
Lin's eyes were pale, nearly colorless, and his face was drained of blood save
a spot high on each cheekbone.
 
"It's like lightning coursing through my veins. Just like lightning." Lin
raised his head and met Lex's gaze, and Lex tried to suppress a shudder. Lin
looked unhinged, crazy. Those scary pale, pale green eyes seemed to glow and
there was something resembling a smile playing around Lin's mouth. "You've
never been struck by lightning," he said. "It's like your skin is vibrating
away from yourself, and all you can see is the white sizzling behind your eyes.
Crackling and snapping at you, wanting to shake you loose."
 
Lex swallowed before stretching out a hand, and slowly placing it on Lin's arm.
Colin's head tilted, and he looked down at the paper again.
 
"This was another one," he said, pointing with the marker at the drawing in
between them. "I've had so many, but I never told him. Them. Anyone. These are
all of them that I can grasp." Lin flung his arm wide, jerking it around to
indicate all the stacks and piles of drawing paper.
 
"All of what, Lin? What didn't you tell anyone?"
 
"Of home." He shook his head, jerkily, a frown creasing his brow. Lex squeezed
Lin's arm. "They're. . . memories? Dreams? I don't know, Lex!" He shouted the
last, startling Lex, and causing him to lose his balance. He shifted to his
knees, kneeling in front of the table, gripping Lin's arm tight.
 
"Memories of. . . where you came from?" he asked.
 
"Yes," Lin whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Alex."
 
Instantly, tears came to Lex's eyes.
 
"It's okay," he reassured him. "You haven't done anything wrong. I just-- I
just want to help you. You need help, Lin. You know that, don't you." He didn't
ask, because he was sure Lin knew it to be true.
 
Colin nodded. He dropped the marker, and reached out to place his hand on top
of Lex's. Then he laid his head down on the table and breathed in and out
heavily.
 
Lex recognized it as Lin trying not to cry, and squeezed his arm again.
 
"I did make an appointment yesterday. With Daniel." Lin groaned, still
facedown. "It's tomorrow at two. I, uh-- I wasn't sure if you wanted me or Lian
there, so I left that open. Just in case." When Lin's head came up, Lex
continued, hurriedly, "We don't have to be there. I don't want you to feel like
that's necessary, but just if it would make you feel more comfor-- "
 
"I want you there," Lin interrupted. "You and Lian. I couldn't-- not by myself,
Lex. Please." His voice broke a bit, and Lex -- still tightly gripping Lin's
arm -- stood and came around the table till he was standing right beside Colin.
He reached down, pulling Lin to his feet and wrapping his arms around him.
Colin was taller than him, but much skinnier. It was like hugging a lamppost.
 
"We'll be there," he said. "We'll always be there, Lin.
 
 
***
 
 
He and Bruce ended up getting involved in a conference call later that day.
Between the two of them, Nick, and Jameson, they figured out a schedule of
sorts. It turned out that since Aerson's articles, both The Daily Planet and
The Gotham Globe had been inundated with mail concerning 'the three Luthor
boys,' as they'd been dubbed. And Thom Aerson had contacted Jameson the other
day, looking for an interview.
 
Lex nixed that idea straight away. No way he was gonna let some conniving
reporter near Lin or Julian -- not even one related to Chance.
 
By the time they'd said goodbye and hung up, it was nearing four o'clock in the
afternoon. Lex stretched, hearing his back pop, and looked at Bruce's lowered
head.
 
"Fancy a run?" he asked. Bruce jerked his head up, and returned Lex's look with
an incredulous stare.
 
"You? Want to run?"
 
Lex grinned. "Sure. Indoors, of course. I don't think I'm up for leaping and
bounding through the snow today."
 
Bruce turned his head to look out the window. It had snowed again last night,
and the view from Bruce's office showed a vast winterscape. Evergreens and
shrubs coated with snow, and the grounds for as far as the eye could see were
an untouched white. No footsteps, no animal tracks, just pure glittering snow.
 
"Hmmm. You know," Bruce said, eyes still focused out the window. "If you think
this is bad, just imagine what it was like up in Nepal in their winter." He
stood up and walked over to Lex, putting an arm around him as they headed
towards the gym downstairs. "I don't know how they didn't go stark raving mad
up there, but I was ready, after only a few weeks, to just burrow down in the
ice and never come back up."
 
"How long were you there?" Lex asked, wrapping his arm around Bruce's waist.
They reached the door, and Lex pushed it open.
 
"Four months, give or ta-- "
 
 
***
 
 
They did run. At first, it was only a companionable jog around the indoor
track, but as time passed they raced. Of course, Bruce was holding back, but if
the sweat on the man's face was any clue not that much. Lex managed to keep up
with him for about two miles' worth, but when Bruce glanced over at him with a
smirk, he knew he was beat. He huffed out a, 'Go,' and Bruce's smirk
disappeared. As Lex slowed down from his sprint into a tired jog, finally
stopping when he'd completed two more laps and cooled down sufficiently, he
watched Bruce. He lapped Lex at one point, there at the end, a rush of cool air
and the relentless sound of his pounding feet the only indications that he'd
been there at all.
 
Bruce moved fast and sure. They'd done four miles, by Lex's best guess, and
still Bruce sprinted with not a stumble or slowing in pace. Around and around,
he did eight more laps before slowing down for three more. And when he stopped,
Bruce didn't bend over to catch his breath. He calmly walked over to Lex and
his breathing was close to normal.
 
"Goddamn," Lex said, looking at Bruce as he came closer.
 
Bruce got that smirk on his face again before saying, "You did well."
 
"You were going slow, admit it."
 
The smirk turned into a small smile, Bruce's eyes crinkling at the corners and
that dimple in his left cheek appearing. He glanced down at his feet as though
trying to hide his happiness, and Lex felt himself smile, as well.
 
"Only a little. Really," he said at Lex's raised eyebrows. "You're in wonderful
physical condition, Lex. I was surprised."
 
"Well, it's nice to see that can still happen," Lex replied, standing up. Bruce
half-turned, walking backwards a pace while Lex moved up alongside him. They
were both sweaty and -- at least on Lex's part -- exhausted, but grinning like
loons. And Bruce's elbow kept knocking and bumping against his, and Lex was
pretty sure it wasn't an accident.
 
"Ready for a shower?" Lex asked, looking at Bruce sideways from the corner of
his eye.
 
There was that smile still and, God, did it make Lex feel blessed to see it.
 
"There's a shower down here, you know," he replied, returning Lex's look.
 
"Well, I guess we'd better use it, then. Wouldn't want to drip sweat on the
rug, and have to face Alfred's wrath."
 
Bruce chuckled, ducking his head down again.
 
"No, we wouldn't want that."
 
 
***
 
 
It was a big bathroom. Several different shower heads in the large stall made
it vaguely resemble a locker room, but Lex had never seen a gym with marble
countertops or nickel fixtures.
 
Bruce leaned around the shower, turning it on and adjusting the water
temperature, before coming back to undress. Lex, already naked, grabbed a
couple of towels from a nearby shelf and set them on a heating rack next to the
stall. He leaned back against the wall, then, and watched Bruce.
 
Just as the man put his hands to the waistband of his shorts, Lex called out,
"Slower!"
 
Bruce turned around with a raised eyebrow. "Oh, you want a show, do you?"
 
Lex licked his lips and smiled.
 
Bruce canted his head back and put a defiant expression on his face. "It'll
cost you," he said, in a deep voice.
 
Lex swallowed. "Well, I know a very good cook. If it's food you're looking for-
- "
 
Bruce pulled his shorts and underwear down in one smooth move, then stepped out
of them and walked over to stand in front of Lex.
 
"Food wasn't what I had in mind," he whispered. "Why don't we take this. . .
discussion. . . into the shower. We can work out the details there."
 
Lex licked his lips again -- watching as Bruce's eyes drifted down to his mouth
-- and put his hands on the man's waist. He walked backwards slowly, tugging
Bruce along.
 
"I think we can come to some sort of. . . agreement," he said, inching his left
hand down to Bruce's ass. When they got under the water, he realized Bruce had
set it to Lex's preferred temperature of very warm, rather than his own
scalding hot.
 
Bruce reached out for the nearby bar of soap, slicking it up into a lather,
then sliding his hands down Lex's arms and over his chest. Lex grabbed the soap
from him and returned the favor. He reached up and kneaded the place where
Bruce's shoulders met his neck, the man's head falling back as he emitted a low
groan.
 
"God, that feels good," Bruce said.
 
"Come here," Lex demanded. He slid a hand up to Bruce's chin, catching it in
his palm and leaning in close to kiss his lips. Bruce's hands were still slick
with soap suds, and as their tongues touched and danced, one hand held onto the
back of Lex's head, the other at the small of his back.
 
Lex pressed forward, molding his body to Bruce's as much as he could. Just as
Bruce started in on his kink of sucking and biting at Lex's neck, Lex
stealthily worked a hand between them. When he'd encircled Bruce's cock, he
gave it a stroke and felt as the man's whole body shuddered against him.
 
"Lex," Bruce breathed out against his neck. He had one hand curled around Lex's
waist, and when the other slipped back around his hip, coming to play at the
sensitive skin where thigh met ass, Lex felt his breath hitch. He gave Bruce
another stroke, falling into a rhythm, as his neck continued to be nipped and
licked at.
 
"I'm fucking a vampire, here," Lex murmured. Bruce gave a strained chuckle and
bit down extra hard.
 
"I like seeing the proof," he whispered. The feeling of Bruce's words against
his skin and the sensation of water sliding over them gave the encounter a
surreal, fantasy-like air.
 
Suddenly one of Bruce's hands was wrapping around both of them, slipping and
bumping against Lex's hand. He brought his head up and began kissing Lex again.
Bruce's lips bit and pulled at Lex's mouth, much like he'd done to his neck. It
was as if Bruce were fighting and battling his way towards orgasm, never
content to just let it happen.
 
Lex pulled his mouth away in order to catch his breath, his cheek coming to
rest alongside Bruce's. He heard a muffled, "Fuck, Lex," and felt as Bruce
came, his left hand digging into Lex's hip. And as he neared his own orgasm,
Lex opened his eyes. He was facing the doorway, and when his eyes met green
ones, Lex came in a wordless cry.
 
Bruce held onto him as his body sagged, and when Lex looked up at his face,
Bruce had his head turned towards the doorway. Lex looked over, dreading the
expression he'd see on Colin's face.
 
But Colin wasn't there.
 
He quickly looked back to Bruce and started to ask, "Was Lin-- ?"
 
"Yes," Bruce said, cutting him off.
 
Shit.
 
 
***
 
 
The next day, Lex still hadn't summoned up the courage to confront Lin about. .
. what he'd seen.
 
What he'd been doing watching Lex and Bruce have sex in the workout room's
shower. He just didn't. . . know what to say, how to go about it.
 
Dinner the previous night had been awkward and painful only for Lex, it seemed.
Breakfast followed that pattern, also, and Lex ignored lunch in favor of
running on the track again.
 
He avoided the shower room altogether.
 
And all too soon, it was a quarter after one and time for them to leave if they
wanted to get through Gotham's traffic and still make the appointment. Bruce
said goodbye and good luck, clapping a hand on Lin's shoulder before going back
into his office to do. . . whatever it was that Bruce did all day.
 
Alfred had insisted on driving them, so Lex sat up front, leaving the back for
Lin and Lian.
 
He told himself it had nothing to do with anything about yesterday, just him
wanting a better view of the road.
 
Like Bruce had said, Daniel Tucker's office was a mere two city blocks away
from Fallin & Fallin, Nick and Burton's law firm. The psychologist's office was
on the 25th floor of a tall glass and metal building, and the three of them
luckily managed to grab an empty elevator. The lobby was fairly crowded so they
didn't dawdle. None of them wanted to attract any more attention than they
necessarily had to.
 
Stepping off the elevator and walking into the waiting room was like a breath
of fresh air. The place was empty of patients -- only a receptionist at the
main desk present. Leaving Lin and Lian over by the window, Lex went over to
her and checked them in. He filled out some paper work thankful that they
weren't on Lionel's insurance anymore.
 
And then it was time to wait. Lex sat down in one of the overstuffed armchairs,
watching Lin point out landmarks and famous buildings to Lian from the window.
A door opened down the hall and voices came drifting out, becoming louder as
their owners walked closer.
 
" . . . I think we can move to once a week sessions from now on. Does that
sound okay, Will?"
 
"Yeah," a young boy's voice replied. "My mom says to say thank you for her.
Thank you, Dr. Tucker."
 
As a man and a boy came into view, the man replied, "You're very welcome. You
and your mom." He smiled at the boy -- about ten years old, by Lex's guess -
- and led him over to the receptionist's desk. The two adults leaned forward to
speak quietly for a minute or two, and then Tucker looked down at 'Will.'
 
"Jean, here, is going to call your aunt to come pick you up, now. Anything else
I can do for you, bud?"
 
"No, she's probably on her way already." Will shrugged. "Sometimes Aunt Megan
gets busy, but she always comes eventually."
 
"I have a friend like that," Tucker replied. "You can hang out here for as long
as you need to." He shared a glance with Jean. "I'm sure we can find something
for you to do, while you wait. Can't we, Jean?"
 
"Well, I do have some lizards to feed," she said, looking across the desk at
Will. Then in sotto voce, she whispered, "Dr. Tucker keeps them out of the
reception area, so people don't get scared and run away before their sessions."
 
"I love lizards!" Will exclaimed. "Can I help feed them? I wanna do the iguana,
first! He's the coolest-- "
 
Will's voice gradually grew quieter as he and Jean walked through another door,
going down a hallway the mirror image of the one Will and Tucker had emerged
from.
 
Lex looked up and met the psychologist's eyes from across the room. He stood
up, smoothing down his jacket and shirt, and smiled a courteous smile at the
man.
 
Tucker glanced over to the window, before walking over.
 
"Lex Luthor, as I live and breathe," he said with a smile. He held out his
hand, and Lex shook it steadily.
 
"Hello. . . Dr. Tucker. I admit, it's a bit disconcerting to see you here after
all those memories of you back in Metropolis." He raised an eyebrow and
smirked. "The man-made maid?"
 
Tucker laughed. "Well, this must be as surreal to you as it is for me," he
said, gesturing around the room. "A few recommendations and referrals from
respected men and women in the business, and I'm the new rage, I guess." He
looked over towards Lin and Lian again and his expression turned serious. "What
say we get started then, Lex?"
 
"Um, yeah," he replied. Lex walked over to the window and put a hand on each of
their shoulders. "Time to do it, guys."
 
Lian visibly swallowed, looking incredibly anxious and worried. He was looking
at Colin, and so was Lex.
 
But Lin had turned slightly and his eyes were focused on. . . Daniel's.
Watching him, Lex saw Lin's mouth quirk up in a sad smile, and Daniel returned
it with one of his own.
 
"Hey, Daniel," Lin said, and sighed.
 
"Hey, Colin. Why don't we go into the office? There's an even better view of
the city from there. The park and some of the docks, even."
 
Lin nodded and gestured to Lian first. "Lian, do you remember Daniel? He used
to work at the house."
 
Julian stepped forward and stuck out his hand, and Daniel smiled and took it,
shaking it thoroughly.
 
"It's a pleasure to meet you, sir," Lian said. "I'm not sure.  Didn't you use
to-- ?" He leaned in a little closer to Daniel and asked quietly, "Were you a
maid, sir?"
 
Daniel nodded seriously. "Yes, I was -- for a few years, in fact. Oh, the
stories I could tell you about your brother Lex." He glanced over as he
straightened up, guiding Lian down the hall towards the office. "He once tried
to freeze the carpet in his bedroom. Now, here I was, making my rounds as
usual, when suddenly I slip and-- "
 
Lex wrapped his arm around Lin, and the two of them followed Lian and Daniel
down the hall.
 
There were windows streaming in sunlight as they walked, and Lex remembered
what Lin had said yesterday about feeling the sun.
 
He reckoned at that moment, he, too, could feel the sun -- shining and glowing
on each of them.
 
Dispelling the shadows and warming them. . . if only until night came again.
 
 
***
 
 
All_Roads_That_Intersect
 
 
Sometimes when he tried to sleep, random images and pictures would pass behind
his closed eyes. His body would jerk and twitch spasmodically, and he'd have to
open his eyes for it to stop.
 
Right now, being in this office felt like that, like he were trying to sleep,
but his eyes were sewed shut and the images just kept coming, hitting and
picking at him.
 
"Well," Daniel said, as he sat down. "Why don't we start with why you're all
here." Lin knew from the expression that then appeared on Daniel's face, that
Lex had just given him a dirty look. "Okay, humor me. I need to know what you
think you need help with before we can," he clapped his hands together and
rubbed them back and forth quickly, "start the healing."
 
Lex's snort eased Lin a bit, and beside him, Lian sighed and ducked his head
down. He was fidgeting with his hands, a sure sign that he was nervous and
unsure. Lin bumped him with his elbow, and Lian looked over at him with a tiny,
sad smile.
 
Better than nothing, he supposed.
 
"Well," Lex started, trailing off and searching out Lin's eyes over the top of
Lian's head. They'd sat down across from Daniel, on the sofa -- Lian in the
middle, with Lin on the left and Lex to his right. He shared another look with
Lex and then decided to just jump in there.
 
"You read the paper," Lin said, turning to stare down Daniel. He nodded back,
eyes a little wide with surprise, so Lin reined in the aggressiveness. "We've
broken from. . . Lionel. Now the therapy, which all of us need obviously."
 
Lex snorted again, but Lin kept his eyes locked on Daniel. He kept trying to
get a read on him, but the man had a good blank face. Probably one hell of a
good poker player.
 
"I do in fact read the papers," he said, returning Lin's stare with not a hint
of discomfort. "And, yes, I did see that the three of you had left. My question
is, are you here because you want help. . . or because you think you need it?"
 
This time it was Lin who snorted. And whereas Lex had earlier because of a vast
understatement, Lin did so now to show his opinion of that garbage.
 
"What difference does it make, honestly?" he asked, with a sneer.
 
"Jesus, Lin," Lex whispered, and Colin could see him looking at him from the
corner of his eye. Julian shifted on the sofa, but Lin couldn't find it in
himself to back down. It was a stupid question. There was a trivial difference
between either answer, and for Daniel to ask it had been insulting.
 
"No, Lex," Daniel said, putting a hand out. "What do you mean, Colin? I think
there's more to this than just the question? Do you not see a difference, is
that it?"
 
"No. It's the fact that you're using an ice-breaker, as if we all don't know
exactly why we're here." Lin realized that his voice had been progressively
getting louder and louder, and made an effort to modulate it as he continued.
 
"Lionel is an evil son-of-a-bitch. End of story. Why pretend otherwise?"
 
"I need to distance myself, here," Daniel said. He was using that calm, calm,
slow voice that people used when talking to someone crazy or retarded. Lin
hated that voice. "I'm no longer your friend, and-- "  
 
"Who ever said you were?" Lin interrupted.
 
"Lin, what the hell are you doing?" Lex burst out. "Quit picking at the guy and
let him do his job."
 
"Screw you, Lex!"
 
He just raised his eyebrows and got that stupid, smug smirk on his face.
 
"Real mature, Colin."
 
"Don't call me that," Lin growled.
 
"Okay, okay!" Daniel called out. "Let's just calm down here for a minute."
 
Lin took a few deep breaths in and out, trying to stop the whirlwind inside
himself.
 
"Colin?" Daniel asked. He looked at him, and saw a familiar look on the man's
face.
 
It was that look, that sad, pitying look.
 
The one that said he knew.
 
"I read the article that was in The Globe yesterday. And I've been alerted as
to some of the charges against your father. Do you want to just say what you're
thinking, right now?"
 
"He's not my father," was all that came out. At Daniel's look, he knew that
wasn't what he'd expected him to say. "Well, he's not!"
 
"How do you mean he's not your father?"
 
"In every single way!" Lin was getting upset, so he tried to push it all down
again, but it just kept bubbling up. "I'm not related to him. He may have
legally owned me before, but Lex is my guardian now. Lionel is. . . nothing to
me," he forced out in a grating whisper.
 
"He never owned you," Lex said.
 
Lin shrugged and folded his arms over his chest.
 
"He didn't," Lex insisted.
 
"He owned all of us, Lex," Lin sighed out, tiredly. He looked over at Lex, who
was sitting forward on the sofa, body angled towards Lian.
 
"He thought he did," Lian suddenly said. Both Lin and Lex looked down at Lian
at the same time, and it would have been funny. . . had the situation not been
what it was.
 
"We all thought that, but he never did." He met Lin's eyes and went on, "Own
us, that is."
 
"Lian-- "
 
"No, you need help. And Lex and I need help, too. Quit doing that."
 
"Doing what?"
 
Lian looked at him, and Lin saw how uneasy he was. . . Julian looked scared,
scared like he only got when--
 
"Acting like Dad," Lian whispered, his eyes so round. He'd leaned away from Lin
as if he expected him to lash out.
 
Like. . . Dad did.
 
Lin turned his head away and stared at the wall on his other side of the room.
He blinked away the tears that had formed in his eyes, and inched farther over
on the couch.
 
"Colin?" came Daniel's voice again. "Don't withdraw. Talk. Say what's going on
inside." His next words were quieter. "That's how we get through this -- we
talk it out. Yeah?"
 
"I'm sorry," Lin whispered, hoping they'd understand what for and not make him
spell it out. Lian must've got it, though, because he reached over and laid a
hand on Lin's arm. Then he scooted over and tried to hug him, but Lin remained
stiff and still. Separate. He didn't deserve Julian's forgiveness.
 
" --and I imagine all three of you have defense mechanisms and ways of coping
with everything," Daniel was saying. "It'll take us a little while to figure
out what they are and what triggers them, but as we progress I'm sure we'll be
able to-- "
 
Lin blanked out again. It happened a lot, and with all the stress and talking
lately, he wasn't that surprised by it. Lian had seen him like this, so he
wasn't worried that they'd all freak out. At least, Lian wouldn't, and he'd
explain it to Daniel and Lex.
 
It was like a balmy haze. It was a hot, sticky, tired feeling, and it felt safe
and enveloping. He didn't have to think here, didn't have to force his mind to
make words out of what he was feeling and thinking -- how he saw things.
 
 
***
 
 
School had started on a Monday, and Lionel and his assistant had taken him up
on the Sunday afternoon before -- the assistant driving, of course. Brett, he
thought, was this one's name, and like a good little drone, he never looked in
the rear-view mirror at what his boss was doing.
 
Lionel had to say goodbye. . . like any concerned father, he said, right before
his hand slid into Lin's pants.
 
Lin did have a roommate, but he wasn't there when they arrived. Someone had
packed his bags for him, back at the house, and he had no clue what was in
there. 'Brett' lugged the three suitcases up and set about putting everything
into the closet and drawers, while Lionel told Lin how to act and behave.
 
"These boys. . . they're going nowhere but up in their fathers' companies.
They're stupid," he said. They were over by the windows, looking out at the
grounds. Lionel had his black, pin-striped suit on, the one he'd worn to the
Greer's party last week. The one he'd made Lin suck him off in inside Mr.
Greer's home office. It was a surprisingly soft suit, not rough or scratchy
like some of his others.
 
"We both know what you can do. You are not stupid, but don't provoke these
pissants. Yes?" Lin nodded, his eyes steadfastly on the bench in the courtyard
below. "Use that head," and he tapped Lin's forehead with his finger. "Show
them what a Luthor can do."
 
Behind them, 'Brett' was done and standing quietly. Suddenly the door opened
and a wave of noise came rolling in. Lin turned and saw five boys about his age
staring back at him, with varying expressions of dislike. The one in front
actually looked more curious than anything, but a few behind him were glaring.
 
Lionel, too, glanced over at the boys, pasting a fake fatherly smile on his
face before turning back to Lin. He held out his arms, stepping forward, and
Lin diligently returned the embrace.
 
Tried to keep how much he hated it off his face. . . so those boys wouldn't
see.
 
"Make me proud, son," he said, patting him on the back a few times, then
stepping back. Lionel reached a hand up and held Colin's chin, forcing him to
meet his eyes. They stared at one another for a moment, before Lionel leaned
close to whisper into Lin's ear, "I'll see you in a few weeks, my prize."
 
A final clap on the shoulder, and he and 'Brett' left.
 
Left Lin alone with those kids, who, by the looks of them, wanted nothing to
with him.
 
The first one shrugged, laughing a little with his friends before stepping
forward.
 
"Name's Greg," he said, holding out his hand. Lin reached for it, shaking it
slowly before retracting his hand and shoving it into his pants pocket.
 
"Lin. I mean, Colin," he stuttered out.
 
"Luthor, though, right?" Greg pushed.
 
"Uh, yeah. That's right."
 
"Lin?" One of the others by the door sneered. "What kind of chick name is
that?"
 
" 's just a nickname," he replied, quietly. He turned around to his bed, where
Lionel's assistant had set all his sketch pads, and set about stacking them in
order.
 
"Well, I'm Greg Lyman. The asshole over there is Henry Douglas. Next to him,
with the stink-face is Mark Lee, and the other two are Jake and Eli Fors." Lin
could feel him step closer and turned back around to face him. "I'm your
roommate, and the others are. . . friends of mine."
 
Then he smiled. "Welcome to Excelsior, Colin Luthor."
 
 
***
 
 
At first, it was simply difficult to get used to the different schedule -
- awake during the entire day, asleep the whole night through. The first few
days were-- well, culture shock is what it was. Lin had never spent so much
time around so many people as he did just the first day, let alone a week.
 
Another thing was the way the boys looked at him, some of the teachers, too.
Excelsior was just outside the Metropolis city limits, so he wasn't all that
far from the house, but it seemed like a world away.
 
Greg, his roommate, was an okay guy. He left Lin to himself and that's what he
wanted, so for a bit at the beginning of the term, Lin thought maybe things
would work out all right.
 
Maybe he could stay away like Lex did, just live at school and sneak out to see
Lian on weekends.
 
It was the second week that he got chewed out by the floor warden, telling him
that there was a specific time when he could shower, and it wasn't in the
middle of the night. Right after that condescending snail of a man finished
berating him, Lin went back to his and Greg's room and blared The Ramones. He
paced the room and tried to calm himself down. It was no big deal, he kept
telling himself. Nothing wrong. It's perfectly normal to do this. I bet Lex
showered when other people were there and never thought twice about it. You're
just going to do it, and then you'll see that all this worrying was stupid.
 
Besides, he thought later, as he trudged down the hall with his shower kit and
towel, Lionel's not even here. A bunch of teenagers are going to be somehow
worse than Lionel Luthor? He snorted and pushed open the bathroom door.
 
The first night was just them sneering and laughing at him behind their hands -
- the looks in the hallway and cafeteria amplified because there were no adults
to skirt around, here.
 
It was the next time that someone actually directed a comment towards him.
 
"Oh, what a pretty little necklace, Luthor. Your mommy give that to you?" Then
the boy turned back to look at his buddies, all of them laughing and slapping
him on the back.
 
"My mother's dead," Lin said, quietly. He tried to keep his eyes on what he was
doing and not look around. It was difficult, though, when he'd feel eyes on his
back, to not turn around and meet that intruding gaze.
 
Still better than Lionel, though, he reminded himself.
 
"I know she's dead, Freak. Everyone knows. You fuckin' Luthors think you're
such hot shit, don'tcha?"
 
"No," Lin said, but one of the other boys talked right over him.
 
"Yeah," he said, leaning around the first boy. "What's the deal with you,
anyway? I heard you're not even allowed outside. Whatcha doing here, Freak?"
 
"Maybe Daddy got tired of his ass always hanging around and decided to-- "
 
The third boy who'd started talking never finished, and Lin didn't feel one bit
sorry for smashing his fist into that kid's face.
 
Leon was that boy's name, he found out the next day. But Leon was no
tattletale, so there wasn't a problem. Punching him had actually served as an
example of sorts. They still gave him glares and he could tell when they were
laughing and making fun of him, but now they left him alone for all intents and
purposes.
 
In the bathroom the night after he hit Leon, no one used the showers on either
side of him, and the two boys at the ones next to those kept flicking hesitant,
scared looks at him until he left.
 
Two weeks in, during their break before lunch, both Lin and Greg managed to be
in the room at the same time. Usually, Greg was off with his friends and Lin
had the room to himself, but not this time. Today, Greg was over on his own
side of the room, lying on his bed and pretending to read a book. Lin sat at
his desk, drawing and trying to ignore the looks Greg kept shooting in his
direction.
 
Finally, there was a sigh from the other side of the room, and then Greg's
voice asked, "Do you always eat alone, Colin?"
 
He kept his eyes on the paper and continued to fill in the blank space between
the pillars of his drawing. Quietly, he replied, "Yes."
 
"Look, you can tell me to butt out if you want, but. . . why aren't you trying
to make any friends, here?"
 
"I don't need any friends." He raised his head and met Greg's eyes. "I don't
want any friends."
 
Greg snorted and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, pull the other one, why don'tcha?
Everyone wants friends, and here you do need them," he paused and looked
significantly at Lin. "If you know what I mean."
 
"What do you mean?" he asked.
 
Dropping any pretense of reading, Greg tossed his book aside and got up. He
walked across the room to sit down on Colin's bed, leaning close to the nearby
desk and talking in quiet tones.
 
"Look, I don't know what you've been doing all these years, and I don't really
care. But you don't know how things are here, and just. . . " He stopped, and
grimaced. "Just consider it my one good deed this year that, when I tell you
that you need to have 'friends,' I mean it."
 
"Why? What'll happen if I don't?"
 
Greg shook his head, looking afraid. "You really, really don't want to find
out, trust me. Just find someone. A couple someones, and stick close to them
and maybe nothing will happen."
 
"Right," Lin said. "I'll just go up to two big bully types and ask to be their
friend."
 
"Jesus, this isn't a joke, here, man!" Greg exclaimed. "I'm serious. You need
to have people around who'll stick up for you. Guys-- these guys around here,
they don't like you much and I've heard stuff, okay?
 
"Fine," Lin whispered, eyes dropping back down to his sketch. "I'll find some
friends." He could still see Greg hovering around out of the corner of his eye.
 
"Please, just trust me," he whispered, before moving back to his side of the
room. Five minutes later, a knock came at the door. It was Greg's 'friends,'
and he left and went to lunch with them. Lin stayed in the room and skipped the
meal, thinking on what Greg had said.
 
And on why he'd said it in the first place.
 
 
***
 
 
Three weeks later, and Lin was still managing to put off finding any 'friends.'
Things hadn't improved at all, but they hadn't really gotten any worse, either.
Some of the teachers kinda stuck up for him in class now -- now that he'd
proven himself not to be just another rich flake. Both his Maths teacher and
his Art History one actually seemed to like him. They'd call on him only when
he raised his hand, and never when he didn't. He had bad days, and on those
days he didn't want to talk, and it was nice that those two men didn't force
him to.
 
As nice as those teachers were, so his English teacher was the exact opposite.
The man was viciously cruel and seemed to be gunning for Lin especially. He
wasn't that great at English anyway, and with the guy constantly nagging and
nitpicking everything Lin said, it was no wonder that he found himself skipping
the class a lot. He knew it was an incredibly stupid thing to do, but he just.
. . couldn't sit there and be called stupid, and moron, and. . . once, Mr.
Morris had even asked him if he were retarded, in front of the whole class, and
that was too much.
 
He got enough of that stuff at the house, he didn't have to put up with it from
this jerk, too.
 
The more he thought about why Morris hated him so much, the more Lin thought it
probably had something to do with Lionel. Everything in his life had something
to do with Lionel, so why would this be any different?
 
 
***
 
 
It was October. The leaves changed and the weather grew cold and Lin didn't
have any friends. . . real or fake. Someone had tripped him in the hallway the
other day, and last night in the showers they'd called him 'Daddy's pretty
boy.' He hadn't punched anyone for it this time, but he'd gotten damn near
close. The only thing that stopped him was a shared glance with Greg across the
way.
 
He'd looked sad and sympathetic, and that had distracted Lin long enough to
calm down a little. He'd rushed through the rest of his shower, trying his best
not to react to any more of their taunting.
 
Two nights later, on October fourth, Lin turned his lights off and went to
sleep in his dorm room at 12:00 a.m.
 
Greg had never come back that night from his 'friend's' room, and Lin had just
assumed they'd snuck off the grounds -- out for a night in the city, or
something.
 
And then, suddenly he couldn't breathe, there was something over his head,
hands and arms were grabbing at him and lifting him up. Their voices were
muffled, but he thought there had to be at least four of them.
 
He struggled and squirmed and kicked at them until they tied his legs together.
Then, after he'd managed to elbow someone in the stomach, they wrapped rope
around his wrists, tying them behind his back.
 
They carried and shifted him along a straight stretch for awhile, then dragged
him up some stairs for a long time. He felt wind suddenly, and knew with sick
dread that they were outside now. He didn't want to be outside tonight. It'd
been raining earlier, and even now, he could feel fat drops of it hitting his
body. They hefted him across the roof, he guessed, finally stopping and
dropping him down on his stomach. Four hands were on his back, pushing against
him as he tried to wriggle up into a standing position.
 
He swung his legs around and cut the legs out from underneath one of his
attackers. But another set of hands just replaced those he'd forced away, and a
moment later he got three punches in the face and two in the gut for his
trouble. One of them manhandled Lin so that his hands were against the roof,
then stomped on them repeatedly.
 
He thought that was probably the worst thing they'd done so far. Until he felt
the cold scissors sliding up his leg, cutting his pants away. Almost like in an
emergency room, he thought, in shock. Then the little blades were gliding up
his chest, and hands reached inside to rip Lin's shirt off. It was an old
shirt, years ago relegated to sleep-wear, it was so thin and worn.
 
It'd been one of Lex's old T-shirts that Lin had snuck away with a few years
ago. He only wore it on nights when he knew he wouldn't have to go to Lionel -
- when the man was away, or he had one of his women in the bedroom with him.
 
Lin wore Lex's old T-shirt when he wanted to feel safe, and now these petty,
cruel boys had ruined that.
 
He could make out their voices shouting back and forth, but it was all garbled
and unclear. He was naked now, and the rain pelted down, smacking and stinging
every part of him that it touched. Hands grabbed at him again and they picked
him up, lugging him like a sack of potatoes.
 
He could feel a wall all of a sudden -- brick and mortar under his nails, as he
tried to stop their shoving and pushing. His legs were pushed against the wall,
his back to it, and then he felt as a rope was wrapped around his chest, one
around his stomach and another across his legs.
 
A few more punches to his gut, one to his face -- he thought they must have
broken his nose on that one because it hurt so badly and something wet was
slowly inching down over his mouth and chin. Then somehow, even in the rain, he
could feel as a wad of spit hit his collar bone. It slid down his chest, washed
away by the rain.
 
He felt alone now, and he must have been in shock because that wasn't nearly as
scary as he thought it should be. The hood, or whatever, was still covering his
head and all he could hear was the rain, filling in all the gaps in the world.
Lex had said that once. Or was it Mom? Lin couldn't remember and it bugged him.
He should have always remembered them.
 
A long time passed. The rain began to come down faster and harder, and with the
necklace on, he felt every bit of the pain. The whishing and vague plinging
sounds of the rain fell into the background when thunder started sounding
closer. Thunder, then lightning, he thought, with terror. No more blessed shock
to numb the reality of his situation.
 
He thought it should have been. . . more, somehow. There should have been a
bigger build-up before the catastrophe -- his life, Excelsior, Lex, Julian,
Mom. . . Lionel -- all of it gone in the blink of an eye. Pure energy sizzled
and seared up his body, and through his veins.
 
Lin wasn't. . . anything, in that moment.
 
And he was everything. One with this world and nature -- more a part of it in
those few seconds of being possessed by lightning, than all the other beings
who'd been born on Earth and lived their entire lives here.
 
 
***
 
 
When he came to, he was still tied up, it was still raining, and he felt strong
again. . . like he only did when he wasn't wearing the neckla--
 
With barely a twitch of movement, he snapped the ropes. Lin kicked out each
leg, breaking them instantly, too, then reached up and pushed the hood off his
face. It was sunrise, he'd been tied to the east side of the building.
 
And with the sun shooting its light over the horizon, Lin's hand found the
place at his neck where the green meteor rock necklace should have been. . .
 
. . . but wasn't.
 
He looked down, and with his sight so enhanced and charged up, he could make
out the blackened silver chain on the ground -- five stories below, in the
grass. There was a stone still set in the middle of it, but it wasn't green. It
was white.
 
He looked back towards the sun, and felt it surge through him -- more slowly
than the lightning had, but it changed him just as much. He felt powerful and
full, complete and beautiful and. . . free.
 
If only it could always be like this, he thought, before turning around and
going inside.
 
 
***
 
 
" --and you all need to actually say what's happened, express it aloud, to each
other and to me."
 
Daniel was still talking earnestly, but Lex had stopped paying attention to him
awhile ago. He kept stealing glances over at Lin. It was that same dreamy,
disconnected look on his face -- like the one he'd worn back in Metropolis at
the Jamesons' house, after he'd run away and come back in the middle of the
night. Lin's eyes were vacant, and they drifted around the room, never set or
still on one point.
 
"Lex?"
 
He turned his head to look at Daniel, grimacing and waving a hand towards Lin.
 
"Sorry, but-- Is that. . . normal? Lin's done this before and I don't. . . " He
trailed off, weakly.
 
Daniel shook his head, sadly. "It's a coping mechanism, I'd guess. He goes away
in his head, so that he doesn't have to face something painful here. And I'm
afraid it'll take a long time before he feels safe enough to come back. Or
share anything about what goes on in there," he said, looking at Lin.
 
"He likes to draw, sometimes," Lian said, quietly. Lex looked at him and was
met with the boy's sad eyes. "When he's quiet like this, I mean. Sometimes, if
I set one of his sketch books down, he'll pick it up and draw."
 
"Really?" Daniel said. He glanced between Lin and Julian a couple times before
meeting Lex's eyes and raising his eyebrows significantly.
 
"What? You wanna try? Now?" Lex said, indignantly.
 
"Do you have any of his books?" Daniel replied.
 
"Well, no." He looked at Lian again. "Does it have to be one of his own? Can it
work with any paper?"
 
Lian shrugged, Lex sighed, and Daniel stood up and walked over to his desk. He
grabbed a few sheets of printer paper, a pen off his desk, and a heavy book
from one of the shelves. Then he walked back over, coming to a stop in front of
Lian.
 
Daniel held the items out, waiting for Julian to take them.
 
"Worth a try, right?" he said, glancing back and forth between Lex and Lian.
 
Lex shrugged, raising a hand to his eyes and rubbing them. "Sure," he replied,
with another sigh.
 
The sofa shifted as Lian stood up and went around Lex, over to Lin. Daniel had
dragged a small sofa table over next to Colin, and Julian set the paper and pen
on top of the book, which he gently  laid down on the table. Then he stepped
back, eyes on Lin.
 
And then all three of them waited.
 
Waited for a good five minutes, no one speaking or moving. Eventually, Lian
gave a heavy sigh and turned to come back and sit down. . .
 
. . . and out of the corner of his eye, Lex saw Lin's hand move forward to pick
up the pen.
 
He whipped his eyes around, staring at Lin's mask of a face. There was still
nothing there, but he'd taken up the book and paper now, setting it down in his
lap and leaning over it.
 
"Jesus," Lex heard Daniel whisper. He glanced at the psychologist quickly -- a
look of scared disbelief on the man's face -- before focusing on the movement
of that hand, as it scratched and arched its way across the paper.
 
A building, Lex guessed, after a few moments. With columns and wide steps. Lin
was writing something over the top of it, then suddenly he'd pushed the drawing
off, starting in on the next sheet of paper. Lex slowly reached down for the
first, wincing when he realized what it was.
 
Excelsior. An external view of Haermon Hall. The dormitory building where Lin
must have stayed.
 
He was ready for the next shuffle of the paper, managing to grab that one
before it had time to land on the floor.
 
A communal bathroom, filled with wolves. Literally, Lin had drawn feral,
snarling wolves -- under the showerheads, and standing in front of the sinks
and mirrors -- but they all had one thing in common: they were all facing the
center of the room.
 
Where Lin had drawn himself, naked and dripping wet.
 
Lex had spent a lot more time on that second one, so the third drawing fell to
the ground, where Lian picked it up. Lex looked up at him and watched as his
brother's face went red then white, blood draining from his whole face -- even
his lips.
 
His hand shaking, Lian held the drawing out for Lex to take.
 
And he wished he hadn't reached for it, hadn't looked.
 
It was like a snapshot, a moment captured on paper with ink. Raindrops were
stuck in a downward fall, each appearing poised and ready to hit the ground.
Four boys in a circle, echoing the earlier drawing of the bathroom filled with
circling wolves. And in the center again. . . was Lin. Surrounded and naked,
his left hand was being smashed into the ground by one of the boys' boots.
 
"Oh, my God," Lex said. His hands were shaking and Lian reached out to grab the
next drawing, gasping aloud a second after looking at it. His face scrunched up
and he started blinking rapidly, in an obvious attempt not to cry. Without
looking at him, Lian held the drawing out for Lex.
 
Lex took it, but flipped it over so that he couldn't see what was on it just
then. He looked across the room at Daniel, lifting the other three drawings in
question. Daniel got up from his seat and came over to sit down next to him on
the sofa. Then he picked up the drawings and steadily went through them one at
a time, studying each before moving on.
 
Taking a deep breath, Lex then flipped over the fourth drawing he had yet to
look at. Lin was still busily working at the last sheet of paper, so Lex
brought his eyes to the one in front of him. . .
 
. . . and hoped Daniel would take this one as metaphorical, like the wolves in
the bathroom, as opposed to real. . . like the one on the roof.
 
Well, Lex, he thought to himself, he did say he'd been hit by lightning. And
that reporter, one of the ones back in Metropolis before the hearing, had
questioned him about Lin being electrocuted.
 
In the drawing, Lin was tied to the building -- thick ropes cutting into his
skin -- and his face was turned up towards the sky. His eyes were closed, his
mouth open in an apparent scream, and a fork of lightning was touching him at
his shoulder.
 
Lin had drawn himself, his body, as being nearly as bright as the lightning,
itself. The rest of the drawing was dark and faded into the background, but Lin
and the lightning stood out -- almost together, almost impossible to
distinguish between the two. . . like one entity.
 
Lex turned his head to look at Colin, and saw him sitting back with the last
completed drawing in his hands. Lex absently wondered if Colin'd had more
paper, would he have just kept drawing until it ran out?
 
"Lin?" Lex whispered. Colin blinked, which was more than he'd done before, so
Lex guessed he would be fully coming around soon. Slowly stretching his hand
forward, Lex kept his eyes on Lin's face, gauging his reaction. When he had a
hand on the last drawing, Lin's head came up and his eyes actually met Lex's.
 
"Can I look at it?" Lex asked, quietly.
 
Lin blinked again, then a confused look came over his face. He looked around
the room, leaning forward to peer around Lex at Daniel, quickly glancing at
Lian and then back to Lex.
 
Then Lin looked down, and his mouth dropped open.
 
"What-- what the hell did I do?" he whispered. It was so quiet that had Lex not
been looking at Lin's face, he wouldn't have seen Lin's lips move, wouldn't
have been able to tell that he'd said anything at all.
 
He looked at Lex again, handing the drawing to him. Lex could feel Lin's eyes
on him as he looked, gauging his reaction?
 
It was a sunrise -- as beautiful a sunrise as one could make, using only a blue
ball-point pen and thin printer paper.
 
It was drawn from Lin's perspective this time, Lex could tell. The world
tapered off and rounded towards the edges of the page, warping to simulate
peripheral vision.
 
It was gorgeous, but Lex felt empty and confused looking at it. It was missing
something. It was off. The drawing wasn't complete.
 
Lex raised his head, sliding this last picture over for Daniel and Lian to look
at, meanwhile keeping his eyes on Lin.
 
"You're back?" Lex asked.
 
Lin nodded, sliding down the sofa until he could lay his head back.
 
"Good," Lex said. He lifted his left arm and slowly slid it along the back of
the sofa. His arm touched Lin's head, and Lin shifted his eyes over to the side
to look at him. Lex raised an eyebrow and simply slouched down, too. Then Lin
sighed and rolled his eyes, before closing them.
 
But his head leaned against Lex's arm more fully.
 
 
***
 
 
"Lin, what happened? What'd they do?"
 
"They tied me to a chimney, and left me outside during a lightning storm."
 
 
***
 
 
Daniel insisted on walking them down after the session ended. He and Lex had
made another appointment for the three of them, set for three days from now.
 
A 'goodnight' and 'see you in the morning' to Jean, and the four of them were
safely in the elevator, heading down. Checking his watch, Lex was surprised
when he saw it was only 3:30. It seemed like more time had passed than that.
 
"No more patients?" Lex asked, looking at Daniel across the way.
 
"I didn't schedule any after this one," he replied. Then a fake smile, and he
said, "And now I'll get home early."
 
"You married?"
 
Daniel gave a snort and shook his head, looking at Lex like he'd lost his mind.
 
"Are you kidding? I'm too busy for anything right now. I barely have time to
feed and walk my dog -- I don't even want to imagine the yelling I'd get for
neglecting a girlfriend!"
 
Lex smiled. "Well, at least you know your limitations," he said, eyes returning
to the numbers up above -- watching them as they lit up and went dark in
descending order.
 
The elevator jerked to a stop then 'pinged.' Next, the doors slid open and they
were down in the building's lobby. Daniel got out first, turning to look at
them. Lex laid a hand on Lin's shoulder, and gently nudged Lian forward. He'd
called Alfred, who, to his vast amusement, said he'd been waiting in the
parking garage down the street and would "bring the car around directly, Master
Lex."
 
They were halfway across the tile lobby when the first shot rang out. It
shattered the glass doors not 20 yards away from them. Lex's first instinct was
to look around for the shooter, but he forced himself to move, to push Lian
into Daniel's arms and drag Lin across the floor to a hiding  spot after them.
 
Another shot, somehow louder than the first -- closer, he thought. That one was
closer. This time, he did look around, and thus was distracted when Lin slunk
away. Realizing too late that Lin had left, Lex panicked and got to his feet -
- making himself a perfect target for the shooter who seemed to be aiming for
them.
 
. . . and the world slowed down. There was another loud crack, dread and panic
as his brain sluggishly came to the conclusion that death was coming straight
at him and then there would be impact. Would he feel it? Oh, God, Mom, I'm
going to die and--
 
 --but the impact never came. Lex looked, and Lin was in front of him. Just
there.
 
. . . and the world sped up, sound crashing back like a tidal wave.
 
"Jesus fucking Christ," Lex said. He knew he was in shock again, but honestly,
these days shock was becoming a frequent visitor, and the adrenaline high he
brought along with him somewhat made up for the fact that all this bad shit
just. Kept. Fucking. Happening!
 
Lex put his hands on Lin's shoulders, then looked around for Julian and Daniel.
There was a scuffle going on around near the doors -- or, where the doors used
to be, anyway. A man in a dark trench coat was being held down on the ground by
several security guards, and Lex knew that man was the shooter.
 
"Lex!" came Julian's cry. The boy slipped out of Daniel's arms and ran over to
them. He flung himself around Lex's waist, squeezing like a son-of-a-bitch.
"Are you okay?!"
 
"Yeah, Kid, I'm fine," he replied. Lin's hand reached out, and he mimicked Lex
by setting one hand on Lex's shoulder. "Daniel! You all right over there?"
 
"Yeah," Daniel grunted out, as he got to his feet. He and Lian had hidden
behind a large plant, one that'd ended up being shot to pieces and tipping
over, if the leaves and stems and dirt covering Daniel were any indication. It
looked like he'd been dragged behind a truck in the jungle.
 
"Lex-- " Daniel started to say, pointing behind Lex, at where Colin was, just
as. . .
 
. . . Lian let go of his waist and leaned closer to Lin, saying, "Lin?" in a
scared little voice.
 
Lex felt cold with fear as he turned his head back to look at Lin.
 
Lin's hand was still on Lex's shoulder, and as their eyes locked on each other,
he gave it a little squeeze and coughed.
 
Coughed up blood, a thin line of red dribbling over his lips and down his chin.
 
"Lin!" Lex rasped out, grabbing him around the waist as he collapsed to the
floor. "What the hell?" he said, as quietly as he could under the
circumstances. "Why aren't you heal-- ?" Lian pinched him hard, and Lex
remembered Daniel and the crowd of people nearby.
 
But Lin was shot. He was bleeding.
 
He was going to die, and it was because he'd stepped in front of a bullet meant
for Lex.
 
"Lin?" he whispered, leaning closer to look into his face. He was so pale and
cold. Lin was always so warm, but now he was cold because the blood was leaving
his body and--
 
"Lex," Lin breathed. He looked Lex in the eyes, pleading for him to do
something. But, what? "Take it off. The necklace. Take it off." Then he coughed
again, making a choking noise like his mouth. . . was full of blood because the
bullet had pierced his--
 
God! Lex looked around, and, seeing no one coming this way immediately, reached
his hand under Lin's shirt. He felt cold skin, and more skin and then--
 
 --and when he'd grasped that hot jagged piece of rock, Lex jerked on it,
breaking the chain. Reaching back, he pushed it into Lian's hands, trying to
get it farther away from Lin.
 
Colin's face instantly relaxed, his body, which had been rigid and shaking,
slumped in Lex's arms and stilled. He took in a deep breath and Lex realized
Lin had been wheezing before. The bullet had pierced his lung.
 
He met Lin's eyes and felt a smile come over his lips. Lin stared back at him
and Lex could tell he tried to smile, but fell short. It didn't matter, it
really didn't.
 
Lin was alive. God, how close was that? And why the hell had he been wearing
that--
 
"Why the hell were you wearing that fucking thing?"
 
Lex didn't realize he'd shouted until he took in Lin's widened eyes. He glanced
over at Lian, and saw the boy trying to keep Daniel away as discreetly as he
could.
 
"Now's not the time for this," Lin whispered. He waved his hand at Lex,
motioning for something, but damned if Lex could figure out what he wanted.
"Your jacket," he finally said, impatiently. "To hide the blood."
 
Lex took off his jacket and tie -- Lin slowly sliding his off, too -- and for
the first time felt grateful that Lin was so incredibly thin. He draped his
suit jacket around Lin's shoulders, and then as he pretended to help him to his
feet, Lex wiped away any blood with Lin's already bloody jacket and his own
tie. Getting to his feet, Lex then hung them over his arm in a way that hid the
stains.
 
"What just happened?" Daniel asked, finally managing to shut Julian up and push
past the kid. "What was that? Colin?" He had a wild look in his eye, and Lex
wondered if he looked like that, too.
 
"It was just a ricochet," Lin said, staring back at Daniel.
 
"Jesus! Are you okay? You need to go to the hospital! Lex, let's-- "
 
"I've got it, Daniel. I'm gonna tell the police we're going to a doctor to get
Lin checked out."
 
He sighed, some of the worry and panic receding from his face. "You'll have to
give statements."
 
"I know, but they'll let us go." Lex put on his playboy grin, and said, "After
all, all that infamy's gotta be worth something."
 
 
***
 
***** Chapter 4 *****
The police did end up letting the three of them leave, with the assurance that
tomorrow they'd come down to the station and give their statements.
 
It was silent the whole way back to Wayne manor. Lex again sat up front with
Alfred, and when he stole glances through the rearview mirror at Lin and Lian,
he saw they still looked shell-shocked. They'd been shot at. All three of them
had almost been killed, not just Lex like in the car accident a few weeks ago.
 
"Will you be needing the car again today, Master Lex?" Alfred asked from his
left.
 
Lex turned his head away from the window and met the man's kind eyes.
 
He cleared his throat. "No, Alfred. Not until the morning."
 
"Very good, sir," he replied with a nod, and Lex smiled a bit.
 
"How many times do I have to ask you to call me just 'Lex?'"
 
"At least once more, sir," Alfred replied easily, returning Lex's weak smile
with one of his own. Lex watched the older man's hands as they deftly steered
the car up to the security gates. The guard there nodded at Alfred and pressed
a button, which then caused the gates to swing open for them. With a final wave
at the guard as they passed through, Alfred eased the car over the slight dip
in the road and onto the property. When they'd cleared the gates, Lex turned in
his seat to look back and watch as they slowly closed again. And as he shifted
back to face forward, he took what felt like the first full breath he'd had
since. . . this morning.
 
Alfred slowed the car to a stop right in front of the main doors of the house.
With a sad smile at Lex, he turned his head to say back to Lin and Lian, "Here
we are, boys. I believe Miss Liza said she would be down in the solarium this
afternoon."
 
"Thanks, Alfred," Lian said. And when Lex unbuckled himself and got out of the
car, Julian was looking up at him. Lian was holding Colin's hand, waiting for
him to finish unhooking his seatbelt.
 
Lex held their door open. When Lin was done, Lian tugged on his hand and
scooted across the seat and out the passenger side, forcing Lin to follow him
if he didn't want to break that handhold.
 
After the two of them had gotten out, Lex shut the door and waved at Alfred as
the other man started driving the car around the corner to the garage. They
climbed the stairs and just as Lex had started reaching for the left door
handle, it opened. Surprised, he flinched back before realizing who it must
have been. Bruce held the door open as Lian pulled Lin inside, and then he
looked at Lex.
 
"I heard about what happened downtown," was all he said, and Lex nodded and
stepped inside. He saw Lian dragging Lin down the hall, presumably towards the
solarium and Liza.
 
"And you're all okay?" Bruce asked. He stepped close and put his hands on Lex's
shoulders.
 
Lex shrugged. "Yeah. But we have to go back in the morning to give our
statements. I s'pose I should call Nick, right?" Lex started walking down the
hall, and Bruce let one of his hands fall down to his side, his other arm
sliding across Lex's back and pulling him closer against his side.
 
"Hmmm. Actually, though I'm sure Nick is now well versed in all manner of legal
process, I don't think you really need him."
 
Lex turned his head to look at Bruce. "'Don't need him?' Are you saying we
should go alone? I don't really want to risk that, Bruce. And I know-- I mean,
I'm sure nothing will happen, but just to be safe I want somebody with us."
 
They'd reached the door to Bruce's office, and Bruce reached forward and pushed
it open. He stood back for Lex to pass by, and then gestured over to the area
by the window.
 
Once they'd sat down, Bruce said, "I do actually agree with you. It's sometimes
best to err on the side of caution. What I meant to say was, though I believe
Nick would do a very fine job, I have somebody else in mind. You never met her,
I don't think, but she works at Cranston and Phillips, one of the big firms
here." Bruce gave a little shrug, and a brief smirk flitted across his mouth.
"Well, it and Fallin & Fallin are probably the two main legal firms. But
Cranston and Phillips is more geared towards civil suits, whereas Nick and
Burton's firm is obviously corporate stuff-- "
 
"Bruce," Lex interrupted. He was smiling a bit, if only because of the sheer
surrealism of watching Bruce Wayne babble. "Who is this woman?"
 
Bruce had been looking into Lex's eyes up until that point, but at his
question, turned his head away. Lex leaned forward, frowning. Something was
going on here, something between Bruce and this mysterious lawyer, and if it
succeeded in making Bruce nervous, it was a big something.
 
Bruce cleared his throat, looking over at the window. "Her name's Rachel," he
said. "Her mother used to work here on the estate. Back when. . . " After
another few seconds, Bruce finally turned back to meet Lex's eyes, but he never
finished that sentence. There was no need to, after all. Lex knew what he
meant.
 
"So she's a friend?" Lex asked.
 
But Bruce only shook his head and returned to looking out the window. "No.
Well, maybe she used to be, but we-- we kinda had a falling out a few years
ago. She drove me to the hearing, Chill's. . . hearing, and I-- I made a
complete ass of myself." Bruce huffed a little, his version of a chuckle. "She
told me off and then I left."
 
Lex swallowed and sat further back in his chair. So, this Rachel was one of the
last people to see Bruce before he'd run off three years ago.
 
"I see," Lex said.
 
Bruce shook his head, sadly. "You don't, but you will. Once you meet her. I'll
call her." And with that, he abruptly stood. Bruce walked the short distance to
his desk and picked up the phone, his fingers dialing a number from memory. Lex
remained sitting, watching him, wondering what the hell was going on in his
life these days.
 
"Rachel Dawes, please," Bruce suddenly said into the phone. After a moment, he
said, "Tell her it's Bruce Wayne."
 
Lex chuckled at the smug note in Bruce's voice. So this Rachel Dawes had
supposedly told Bruce off years ago. Lex could only imagine the kind of shock
it would be for her to just out of the blue get a call from Bruce, a few weeks
after his much-publicized. Bruce glanced at Lex for a moment, and Lex felt
himself smile at the look on Bruce's face.
 
He looked every inch the spoiled playboy the population at large believed him
to be.
 
Brucie was going to have fun playing. Lex actually felt a little sorry for
Rachel Dawes.
 
But only a little.
 
 
***
 
 
In the morning, they were scheduled to meet over at the Cranston and Phillips
law offices at nine o'clock sharp. There, they'd confer with Rachel and then
proceed over to the police department.
 
At a loss as to what to do after everything had been set up, Lex wandered
around the house for a bit, taking in the artwork and sculptures on the third
floor. Finally winding up somehow standing outside the kitchen doors, Lex
pushed them open and went in. Alfred was slicing some potatoes at the island
over to the right, and across from him, sitting on a stool, was Lin.
 
Lex walked over, coming to lean against the granite counter top near Colin. Lin
was drawing again, but looked up when Lex moved closer in an attempt to see the
subject of the sketch.
 
"Hey," Lex said, giving Lin a tired smile. "What's this?" he asked, moving his
hand to indicate the drawing.
 
"It's just a-- just something I made up." He glanced over at Alfred and back
quickly. Not in front of Alfred? Probably a memory then, Lex guessed somewhat
breathlessly.
 
"May I see?" Lex asked, carefully. He held Lin's eyes until he nodded, and then
with a slight push Lin nudged the sketch pad over to him.
 
"I'm thinking maybe I could color it. I mean, the walls should be. . . this
sorta icy blue color, and the. . . floor type place is white and. . . swirly."
 
Lex studied the drawing before looking up. Colin was glancing between the
sketch and Lex's face, looking unsure.
 
Lex smiled at him again, reassuringly, and shifted closer so he could drape his
arm around Lin's shoulders. "I think that sounds really cool, Lin. Let me know
when you're finished so I can see it."
 
Lin smiled and looked back down at the drawing as he picked up his pen.
 
Lex's arm was still curled around his back.
 
 
***
 
 
After dinner, the four of them retreated up to the library again. The fireplace
was crackling, sending orange and red bursts of light dancing around the room.
This time Lex didn't sit down, but instead just leaned his back against the
mantle and watched Lin.
 
" --it just all happened at once, that I didn't have time to think about it,"
Lin was saying, heatedly. "We were being shot at, Lex! What should I have
done?"
 
Lex raised his eyebrows at the anger in Lin's voice. "Not wear that damned
necklace, for starters," he replied, watching the color drain from Colin's
still too-pale face.
 
"You don't understand," Lin muttered, dropping his eyes and slumping down into
the sofa.
 
"Then explain it to me," Lex snapped. He pushed away from the fire and started
pacing in front of it. He noticed Bruce's eyes following him as he crossed back
and forth, and Lian was looking far too scared for Lex's taste. "Cos from where
I'm standing, it looks like you were deliberately wearing something we know for
a fact hurts you." Lex came to a stop suddenly, right in front of Lin. "Why
would you do that, Colin?"
 
When Lin's head came up, Lex knew he'd been right to use his full name. Lin
looked even angrier than he had just a minute ago, and that had already been
angrier than Lex had. . . ever seen him.
 
Wait, no he had seen Lin that mad before. Back in Metropolis, in Rick Jameson's
office, when Bruce had first come in to help them, Lin had seemed to
deliberately bait Bruce. And then when Lex had stepped in, Lin had gone off on
him.
 
Lin stared back at Lex, from the corner of his eye, Lex saw Julian scoot a
little farther away from Lin, and his whole body. . . seemed to vibrate with
tension. He'd done that back in Jameson's office too, and before that, on that
very first afternoon Lex had come back to Metropolis, with Lionel wanting to
tell them something and Lin storming out before he could.
 
"I don't have to tell you anything," Lin said with a sneer.
 
"No, you don't," he agreed, at a loss as to how to respond.
 
"Just because-- I mean, you come back all of a sudden," Lin said, "and just
expect us to still be here waiting for you? To fall all over ourselves as we
try to get close to you. Again. Where were you?" Lin still looked and sounded
angry, but on that last, Lex also heard desperation.
 
"Where were you when we needed you?!" Lin shouted.
 
"Lin, I can't-- I don't know what happened. It all just. . . fell apart. You
stopped talking to me. We stopped talking." Lex steeled his resolve and said,
"I left, Lin. I left and I ran away, and it's the worst thing I've ever done in
my entire life. But you didn't tell me. You didn't say anything to me."
 
He watched as Lin's face went blank, all except his eyes, and felt like the
world's biggest asshole.
 
"Why didn't you say anything, Lin?" Lex asked quietly. He crouched down.
"Didn't you trust me? I would have done something. I could've done something to
help!" Lex dropped his eyes to the floor. "I don't know what, but I wouldn't
have just stood by and-- "
 
"No, you couldn't've," Lin interrupted. Lex raised his head and met his eyes.
"He told me he'd. . . kill you if I said anything. Never Lian, never Lucas.
Lex," and here Lin grabbed at Lex's hand, catching it up and holding it so
tightly it verged on painful, "he always said it'd be you. I didn't-- I didn't
tell anyone! You've gotta believe me! I never told, I never did. And he kept
everyone away, and-- and. . . " Lin stuttered to a stop, still gripping Lex's
hand hard.
 
Lex heard Lian sigh, and then from out of nowhere, Bruce said, "Tell him about
the winters, Colin."
 
Lex shot Bruce a confused look, but only got the man's stone-blank face in
return.
 
"Lin?" Lex asked, tentatively. "What does he mean, 'the winters?'"
 
"At the Centre," Lin mumbled. "I always went there during the winter. Always.
And every year it was today. I mean," he said, with a shake of his head. "It's
always the first Friday in November."
 
Lex nodded. "Which is today." Lin nodded back. "And the necklace? Is that part
of it?"
 
Lin sighed heavily. "It felt. . . wrong not to wear it today." He stared back
at Lex, earnestly. "I always wear it today. I'm supposed to have it on all the
time, unless. . . he says not to, but I haven't been. Because you told me," Lin
said, glancing at Lian, "you told me I didn't have to."
 
"And," Lex said, before taking a deep breath, "how long did you stay in the
Centre? In the winters."
 
Colin's face scrunched up. "Until March. Usually."
 
Lex pulled back in shock and anger, making it necessary for Lin to drop his
hand. As he turned to face the fire, Lin hurriedly added, "Sometimes not as
long. One year I was home in February -- for your birthday, cos he was
organizing that huge ball-party-thing and he needed me to be there." Lex was
leaning on the fireplace mantle again, so he couldn't see Lin's face. But he
heard the sadness in his voice clearly enough as he said, "That was the year
you never showed up, and he made up some story about forgetting that you were
overseas, or something. But I was still at the house after that, so I didn't
really mind. Plus, Lian was so cute back then," he added. Lex felt his eyes
prickle at Lin's attempt to lighten the mood.
 
He turned around. Bruce was sitting in the shadows, his right hand covering his
mouth and hiding whatever expression might be there. Lian was sitting close to
Lin again, but he still looked apprehensive and scared, constantly glancing
between Lex, Lin, and Bruce.
 
And Lin was simply looking at Lex. There was no anger there anymore, but there
was also no overt love, either. Lin had his own blank face on.
 
"Lian?" Lex asked, causing the boy to look at him. "What'd you do with the
necklace?"
 
"I, uh-- I had Alfred open the trunk." Lian's face took on a shy, nervous look.
"I forgot to get it out, though. It'll still be in there, right?"
 
Lex looked at Bruce, who nodded and stood up from his chair.
 
"Don't worry, Julian," Bruce said as he began walking towards the door. "I'll
just go down and get it." And he was gone.
 
"Sorry, Lex," Lian whispered.
 
"You did good, Kid," he countered. And when the boy's head came back up, Lex
repeated it, saying, "That was quick thinking. You got rid of the problem
without introducing any other complications." Then Lex smiled at him, albeit
tiredly, and received a shy little grin in return. "That's damn good spy work,
Agent."
 
Lian gave a little chuckle and his smile became a bit more genuine. Lex shared
a look with Lin, as Colin then reached over and wrapped his arm around Julian.
 
"All in a day's work, Chief," Lian responded.
 
"Same shit, different day," Lin murmured.
 
Lex watched Colin lean his head back to rest on the sofa, before turning around
to the fire once more.
 
Just another day in the lives of the Luthor boys.
 
 
***
 
 
When he was first introduced to her, Lex's first thought was, 'Huh. She's not
how I pictured her.'
 
Rachel Dawes was not stunningly beautiful, which wasn't to say that she was
unattractive or ugly. . . quite the opposite, in fact. And she was not cold,
aloof or particularly distant. All of which Lex had expected her to be. She was
pretty, in a no-nonsense, no-fuss sort of way, and she was passionate. Lex
could tell she was an idealist within the first five minutes of meeting her.
 
She was also prejudiced against the name Luthor, and he suspected her of
thinking Lin. . . slow.
 
It wasn't anything she overtly did or said that gave it away, but more in the
way she avoided looking at Lin or addressing him individually. Rachel spoke to
Lex. She spoke to all three of them in general. She even talked a little to
Lian at one point, something about how he reminded her of an old friend, but
only once would Lex say she'd tried with Colin.
 
"And you say you weren't able to see the shooter's face?" she'd asked, her eyes
on the legal pad in front of her as she took notes. She hadn't looked at Lin.
 
"No."
 
Rachel had raised her head at that point, but whether it was in reaction to
Lin's terse answer or the obvious anger in his tone, Lex hadn't been able to
tell.
 
"Okay, then," she'd muttered, eyes darting back down to the pad.
 
And that'd been it. Lex didn't quite know why Lin was angry, but Rachel for all
intents and purposes now ignoring him certainly didn't help.
 
"So," Rachel said now. She stood up from her desk and started putting things
into a nearby briefcase. "Did you drive over?" She shook her head, and then
with a quirky smile went on to say, "Never mind. I forgot for a second who
you're staying with. Of course you wouldn't drive."
 
Lex raised his eyebrow, wondering if he'd just been insulted. Or would the
offense be on Bruce's behalf?
 
"Oh, no!" she exclaimed upon seeing his expression. "I didn't mean it like
that. I just-- Alfred drives everyone. He always picked us up, my mom and me. .
. when we went there. So I simply assumed that he would be driving you, too. I
truly meant no offense; that just came out wrong."
 
"It's all right," Lex replied, putting on one of his charming smiles. "And
you're correct. Alfred did drive us. He's waiting, no doubt, to take us over to
the police station, as well." He paused, studying her. "You're of course more
than welcome to ride over with us. I'm sure Bruce would insist."
 
Well, there was an interesting reaction, Lex thought. At his words, Rachel's
mouth thinned out and she turned her head away from them, picking up her coat
and shrugging it on. Then, briefcase firmly in hand, she gave Lex a small smile
-- a valiant effort, but it actually looked more like a grimace -- and led the
way outside the building. Alfred and the car were already idling at the curb,
and as the four of them approached, Alfred opened the rear passenger side door.
 
"Ms. Dawes," he said, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled warmly at
her.
 
"Alfred," she replied with a nod. As she then ducked to get inside the car, Lex
saw her briefly smile before schooling her face back into solemn focus.
 
Lex nodded to Alfred, then followed Rachel in, taking the seat next to her.
Lian came in next, scooting over to sit across from Rachel, with Lin bringing
up the rear and sitting opposite Lex. The car was one of those old fashioned
types. The back featured forward and rear-facing seats, much like a miniature
version of a limousine.
 
"Have you seen Bruce yet?" Lex asked out of the blue, already sure of the
answer.
 
Rachel flinched, but nonetheless returned Lex's gaze evenly.
 
"No, I haven't," she replied. Her voice was neutral, but the expression on her
face was hard. "So much going on these days, it seems. Haven't had the time,"
she said, turning her head to look out the window.
 
"Yes," Lex agreed. He settled back in the seat and unabashedly studied Rachel's
profile. "I definitely understand being. . . swamped."
 
Rachel chuckled, then, turning to look at him again, said, "Just one thing
after another, isn't it?" At Lex's look, she added, "I do read the papers,
Lex."
 
"Of course. My mistake," Lex offered.
 
"And I also. . . know some people. Around." Here, she waved her hand, as though
encompassing all of Gotham in the circular motion of her wrist.
 
"Is that so?"
 
With a sigh of frustration, Rachel shook her head. "You sound just like him at
times, you know." She turned back to the window again. "I can tell you've been
friends for a long time."
 
"Nearly ten years," Lex said, answering the unspoken question quietly.
 
"How is he?" she asked, her eyes still turned away.
 
"Okay, I think." Lex smiled a little to himself. "It's hard to tell with
Bruce."
 
Rachel nodded, distractedly.
 
"He's always been. . . distant," she murmured.
 
They fell into silence then. Lex looked over at Lian, who gave him a small
smile back, and then he tried to catch Lin's eyes. But Lin was staring at
Rachel with focused determination, and didn't seem to notice Lex's eyes on him.
 
 
***
 
 
The statements took all of half an hour, and Lex felt like a fool when it was
over. A simple questioning of what they'd seen, heard, and done and they were
finished. Quick, painless, and Rachel hadn't needed to do anything.
 
"Here's my card," she'd said, as the car had pulled up in front of the Cranston
and Phillips offices again. "That's my cell, there. And," she'd pointed to the
number below it, "that's the one to my apartment." Catching Lex's eyes, she'd
said clearly, "Use it. If you need me. Yeah?"
 
Lex had nodded, and taken the card from her. "Thank you," he said sincerely.
 
She'd shrugged and, as Alfred had already opened the door for her, stepped out
onto the sidewalk in front of the law offices.
 
"Oh!" she'd said suddenly. Then deftly opening her briefcase and bending
forward at the same time, Rachel had withdrawn a manilla folder, handing it to
Lex with a grave expression. "You might," at this point she'd cast a quick
glance at Lin, "be interested in that." She'd met Lex's eyes once more, then
had quietly said, "I got it from a friend in the DA's office, so be careful who
you show that to."
 
After another grim attempt at smiling, Rachel had turned, nodded at Alfred as
she closed up her briefcase, and crossed the pavement back to the office
building.
 
Lex now sat with the folder in his hands while Alfred took them home again. He
stared at it, wondering what was inside.
 
Wondering what damage this would cause.
 
When the car came to a stop, Lex realized he'd spent the entire trip back in a
daze. Lin was already out of the car and up the entranceway stairs by the time
Lex looked. Lian just shrugged at him, and then got out.
 
Lex held the folder tightly as he, too, stepped out of the car. Both hands were
on it as he went inside, as he walked across the foyer and into the
entranceway. . . as he climbed up the stairs to the second floor.
 
He finally set it down on the bedside table once he'd reached Bruce's room. Lex
found his eyes coming back to it again and again as he drifted around the room,
pulling off his tie and changing out of his suit.
 
It was like a venomous snake, that folder. And no matter the fact Lex knew,
knew with every fiber of his being, that what was inside that folder was
nothing good. . .
 
. . . he still found himself sitting down on the bed, reaching for it, opening
and reading and. . .
 
 
***
 
 
Lex closed the bedroom door behind him and started off down the hall. As he
neared the library, though, he heard sounds of loud pounding and screeching.
Getting closer, he was finally able to pick out the strains of a scratchy
guitar and realized that what he was hearing was music.
 
Loud, angry music coming from the. . . library.
 
Lex pushed open one of the doors and stepped inside cautiously. A quick glance
around the room proved his suspicions correct. It was Lin's loud music blaring
down the hallway.
 
Or at least, Lex assumed the long legs visible underneath the large easel
belonged to Lin. They certainly weren't Liza's.
 
Lex walked around behind so he could see what Lin was painting, trying to make
his approach obvious so as not to startle him. As he did, he glanced around the
room, looking for the source of the music and finally spotting an impressive
stereo system over in the corner.
 
As Lex drew closer, Lin stepped back and to the side. He looked between Lex and
the canvas pointedly, and then finally gestured towards the painting. Lex took
that as permission and looked.
 
It was a split subject acrylic. The upper half was a bigger, more detailed
version of Lin's drawing the other day. It was a room. . . of sorts, with hints
of blue in the swirling texture of the walls and large streams of solid white
along what Lex guessed would be considered the floor. And inside this room were
a young man and woman, arms wrapped around each other. Lex felt his breathing
shallow out the longer he studied the work. Both figures were tall, both had
shiny hair -- the man's was shorter, darker. It curled about the collar of his.
. . garment, while the woman's hair was a frothy golden foam down her back.
Both were smiling. If he squinted at just the right angle, Lex thought the
scene almost appeared to take place in something of a bedroom. There was the
arch of a door set into one of the walls behind the couple, and a tapered and
heavily decorated table stood not too far away from the woman's trailing
skirts. On it, Lex thought he saw little glass bottles and assumed them to be
perfume or. . . their version of makeup, perhaps.
 
Their version. Lex stole another glance at Lin, who was biting his lip as he
looked at the painting. Lin's left hand held a paintbrush, and when Lex looked
closer he noticed Lin making small movements with it. Up and down his hand
went, as though he were painting the air around the canvas, or perhaps just
visualizing what he would do next.
 
The room was suddenly quiet and Lex realized the music track had ended. The
silence didn't last long, though. Two beats later, another song began to scream
out of the system, pouring out of the speakers and filling the room with the
fast strumming and steady beat of Lin's band of choice today.
 
"What is this?!" Lex shouted. Lin's head jerked up from his study of the
canvas, focusing distractedly on Lex's face.
 
"Bauhaus!" Lin shouted back, with a smirk. "Lian and Liza are outside!" And he
pointed towards the windows on the other side of the library.
 
Lex nodded, not feeling up to yelling anymore and fast coming to the conclusion
that Lin was fully absorbed in painting these two scenes. It was a contrast of
styles: the lightness and warmth of the upper half's embracing couple
contrasting with the cold, black and green monstrosity on the bottom half of
the painting.
 
Lex didn't want to look at this piece of Lin's art anymore. It was painful and
harsh, the loving scene ruined and made ugly after taking in the screaming boy
being cut open beneath it.
 
Lex raised his arm and pointed to the library doors. "I'll leave you alone!" he
shouted, trying not to show on his face the horror he felt. "Come get me if you
need anything, okay?!"
 
Lin nodded, already back to contemplating the painting, hand still making those
slight slashing motions with the paintbrush. Lex turned, and with one last look
at Lin, crossed the room, stepped out into the hallway, and closed the doors
firmly behind him.
 
The images in the painting still stuck with him, though.
 
 
***
 
 
The folder contained a list. Lex read it, reread it, and then placed the papers
back inside. Afterward, he stuffed the entire thing into the bottom drawer of
his bedside table, the one in the room he was originally supposed to stay in.
Not that Lex was under the impression Bruce, or Alfred and thereby Bruce, would
somehow never be able to find it there. No, he knew the score, but it still
seemed wrong to have all that. . . filth. . . near the bed he and Bruce shared.
In here, it was out of the way.
 
He resolutely ignored the reason why he didn't just burn the whole file.
 
 
***
 
 
Criminal Sodomy
 
Aggravated Criminal Sodomy
 
Rape
 
Indecent Liberties with a Child
 
Aggravated Indecent Liberties with a Child
 
Contributing to a Child's Misconduct or Deprivation
 
Abuse of a Child
 
Aggravated Indecent Solicitation of a Child
 
Sexual Exploitation of a Child
 
Abandonment of a Child
 
Aggravated Abandonment of a Child
 
Endangering a Child
 
Aggravated Endangerment of a Child
 
 
***
 
 
When they'd left this morning, Bruce had said his "See ya later's" and then
promptly shut his office door. Lex had a sneaking suspicion the terse farewell
had something to do with the dreaded Batman's appearance in the newspapers
again this morning. 'Hero or Villain' had been one headline, and underneath the
bold black letters was a fuzzy picture of the supposed Batman.
 
Lex thought Bruce's costume looked more like a black devil, complete with
horns, than it did a bat, but that was just his opinion. Bruce was the one who
had to wear the thing.
 
There was a new Warrior Angel movie out and Lex had suggested the three of them
-- he, Lin and Lian -- go see it before their appointment with Daniel this
afternoon. Lian had then, for some reason, asked if they could invite Nick for
lunch, his eyes doing that puppy imitation which never failed to make Lex give
the boy whatever he wanted. So they were making a day of it. An early showing
of 'A Warrior's Nightmare,' to be followed by lunch with not only Nick, but his
father Burton, as well. Then at two they'd meet Daniel for their second therapy
session. Lex just hoped nothing too bad happened today: no car accidents, no
shootings, no suicide attempts or disappearances.
 
This time, on the ride into the city proper, Lian elected to sit up front with
Alfred. They were taking a smaller car, still luxury but not as big as the one
they'd taken to meet Rachel and give their statements. The whole ride, Lex was
uncomfortably aware of Lin sitting next to him.
 
He wondered if the leg pressed next to his own were deliberate or just chance.
 
 
***
 
 
The movie was good, but, like all films that were adapted from a source
material, certain aspects of the original story were significantly altered. For
one thing, there hadn't been a love interest in the original comic arc. And so
a comatose Warrior Angel battling his own personified conscience and guilt,
having been injected with a serum developed by Devilicus, had therefore also
not been essentially saved by said love interest. The comics were all the
better for the absence of that particular plotline in Lex's opinion, but he
didn't say anything. It was just too much fun watching Lin get all ramped up
about a movie.
 
"I don't care how accurate the costumes and sets were to the novel," Lin was
saying as they got out of the Rolls. Lex noticed Alfred smiling from his place
behind the wheel. "If they can't at least get some of the story right, why
should they be allowed to use the same title? Why not just change it, make it
up like they did the whole stupid plot, and save all of us who went in thinking
we were seeing a Warrior Angel film the shock of paying for trash that only
vaguely resembles something we love and enjoy?"
 
Lex couldn't help it. He laughed as he grabbed the door to the restaurant,
stepping back as he pulled it open so Lin and Lian could go in. Lin glared at
him and Lex held back any further chuckling by dropping his head and biting his
lip.
 
"Aren't you angry that they changed so much?" Lin asked him once they were
inside. Julian had gone up to the host and given their name, so Lex met Lin's
eyes and smiled.
 
"Actually, I was surprised by how much of the story they managed to keep
intact. You forget the rules of the medium, Lin. Movies are movies, no matter
what, and movies have to appeal to as wide and diverse an audience as they
possibly can -- to recoup all the money that goes into producing one." Lian had
turned around and was waving at them, so Lex laid a hand on Lin's shoulder and
guided him over to the smiling host. Apparently their party had already
arrived, so the three of them trailed along behind the man on the way to the
table.
 
"I still think it was stupid," Lin muttered. Ahead of them, Lex could see Nick
and Burton stand up from their table. "And the movie doesn't even make sense.
It sucked."
 
"So not one you'll be watching again and again, eh?" Lex asked, eyes meeting
Nick's across the way. "Unlike those depressing Tim Burton films you seem to
love so much."
 
"Hey!" Lin exclaimed, "That man is a genius. At least he knows how to tell a
story. His films are art!"
 
"I think they're scary and weird," Lian said from Lex's right.
 
Lin just sniffed and started hanging back, forcing Lex into going first.
 
"Lex, it's nice to see you again," Burton said once they'd reached the table.
He extended his hand for Lex to shake. As he gripped the older man's hand, Lex
looked over at Nick. The young lawyer looked distinctly uncomfortable, his body
slightly turned away and closed off from his father beside him. No love lost
there, it seemed.
 
"And you, sir," Lex replied as they dropped their hands away from each other.
He then reached across the table to shake Nick's hand, giving it a hearty
squeeze before letting go. The corner of Nick's mouth quirked up so Lex thought
he'd gotten the message. 'It's okay,' Lex had been trying to say. 'Just relax.'
 
"And may I introduce my brothers, Julian and Colin," Lex said, gesturing
towards them in turn. Lian promptly stuck his hand out, and Burton took it with
a smile, shaking it efficiently.
 
Repeating the process with Nick, Lian said, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr.
Fallin. Shall we sit?"
 
Lex bit his lip again, quelling the urge to just grab Lian up and hug him
silly. With a glance at Lin, Lex realized Lian was attempting to fill in the
awkward silence left by Colin's noticeable ignoring of the introductions.
 
"Yes, I think that's an excellent idea, Julian," Burton replied, surprising
Lex. The man sat down and the rest of them followed suit.
 
As their waiter appeared at Nick's left, Lex risked another look Lin's way and
saw him exhale deeply, eyes focused entirely on the plate in front of him.
 
"And for you, sir?" the waiter asked, and looking up Lex realized he was the
one being addressed.
 
"Iced tea, please. Extra lemon."
 
"Very good," the guy replied, jotting it down on the pad in his hand. He looked
up, and Lex watched as his eyes repeatedly darted over to Lin. With growing
unease, Lex realized the long looks the waiter was giving Lin were of the 'come
hither' variety and promptly coughed as a distraction. The waiter flinched, his
eyes jerking over to meet Lex's, where he received the full weight of Lex's
death glare.
 
"Um, and for you?" the waiter asked Lian, eyes on his pad and shoulders
hunched.
 
"Just water, please," Lian replied quietly.
 
"I'll be right back with those," the young man muttered, all but scurrying
away.
 
Looking around, Lex met Nick's eyes as the other man raised an eyebrow. Lex
just shrugged minutely and turned to Burton.
 
"I was surprised you had time to meet us today, sir."
 
"Oh, nonsense," Burton replied. As Lex looked closer, he saw the older man's
hand was tapping rhythmically against the table top. As he recalled, Burton
Fallin was a heavy smoker. It'd probably been too long since his last
cigarette. "When Nicholas mentioned he was meeting you and your brothers, I saw
it as the perfect opportunity to give you my condolences."
 
"Condolences?" Lex asked, frowning.
 
"On the loss of your father," Burton replied with an evil little smile.
"Though, truly, perhaps I should be congratulating you, eh?"
 
"Jesus, Dad," Nick hissed. He met Lex's eyes and said, "Sorry, Lex, but as you
may have remembered, my father somewhat lacks in tact."
 
"No, it's perfectly all right," Lex said, setting his napkin in his lap before
looking back to Burton. "It's always nice to talk to someone who actually says
what he means. And, yes, this is one estrangement I don't think I'll ever
regret."
 
"Do you know Lionel that well?" came Lin's voice. Lex turned his head and saw
Lin looking at Burton determinedly.
 
Burton chuckled, his fingers still tap-tapping against the tablecloth. He
returned Lin's gaze and said, "No, I know him only in a vaguely professional
sense. The firm did some business with him a few years ago, and, like with all
our big clients, I personally met with him once or twice to make sure
everything was going smoothly. But, make no mistake, Colin, I have as little to
do with that man as I possibly can. . . while still running a good business,
mind you."
 
"A true capitalist," Lin said. Lex praised the sleazy waiter's timing, for just
as Lin spoke, their drinks arrived and it was time to place their orders. Any
longer, and Lin might have gone into what Lex now thought of as 'Lionel-mode.'
With that comment to Burton, Lin's face had already fallen into the same
superior sneer as Lionel often wore, and Lex didn't want a repeat of the scene
two weeks ago in Rick Jamseon's office.
 
Halfway through the meal, as Lex was about to take another bite of his chicken,
Burton suddenly set his silverware down on his plate and leaned his elbows on
the table. He seemed to study the salt and pepper shakers intently for a
moment, then looked up and met Lex's eyes.
 
Lex lowered his fork and raised his eyebrows in question.
 
"I've come to a decision and I'm hoping you'll hear me out before you refuse."
 
"And why would I refuse?" Lex asked, intrigued.
 
"Because everyone has their pride, and from what I've heard about you over the
years, you most certainly don't lack in that area. I want to cover some of your
fees myself," he said plainly.
 
Lex was about to interrupt, but Burton raised his hand and waved him quiet.
"With Nicholas here, and Rick in Metropolis, you're going to have some steep
bills no matter how much of a personal favor they do you and knock off some of
those zeroes." He gave a great sigh and looked at Nick for a moment before
returning to Lex. "I know my son, at least I like to think I do. And I'm sure
he's doing this pro bono, much like Rick, I would imagine. Much like Ms. Dawes
over at Cranston and Phillips," he added, and Lex forced his mouth closed after
it dropped open.
 
"Let me do this, Lex," Burton said. His eyes were vaguely pleading and Lex
noticed the man's fingers weren't tapping anymore. "And my reasons are my own.
I have money, and it's mine to dispose of how I wish. My wish is that you and
your brothers get the best representation without having to feel indebted.
You'll feel that way anyway, with me of course, but at least this way all of us
can exorcize some of our demons, and none of us have to go broke. Bruce Wayne
may be richer, but he's doing his part already. Let me do mine to bring about
some justice."
 
Lex swallowed heavily and looked away. Taking a few deep breaths, he raised his
head and nodded.
 
"Great!" Burton said, leaning back in his chair. His fingers started tapping
again. "Wait till I tell Rick that his next paycheck is coming from me. The
shouting will be so loud, I imagine Nicholas'll hear it from all the way on the
other side of the office!" Burton chuckled some more, shaking his head and
grinning in satisfaction like the cheshire cat himself.
 
Looking over at Nick, Lex made out the surprised look on the man's face as he
studied his father. Unsure what that was all about, Lex next looked at Lian and
returned the kid's smile with one of his own. Lin, meanwhile, was staring at
Burton and, when Lex turned his head, he saw that Burton was staring right
back.
 
"I hope this alleviates some of your guilt, Mr. Fallin," Lin said. "But don't
forget that it's never too late to make amends. I'm sure he'd forgive you."
 
Burton frowned and his eyes flickered over to glance at Nick before turning
back to Lin.
 
It was comforting somehow to have proof that the Luthor family wasn't the only
dysfunctional one.
 
 
***
 
 
"I want you to say the first thing that comes to mind. Try to say what you're
thinking. We're going to clear the air, so to speak. Okay. Lex? Let's start
with you. We'll go oldest to youngest, if that's all right with everyone?"
 
Lex frowned, looking towards Julian and getting a nod from the boy in reply.
Lin just shrugged.
 
"Well, guilt is the first thing that pops up. Next, anger. Sadness and despair.
And, uh, a tiny bit of happiness, I guess," he finished, looking out the window
so he didn't have to see the looks on their faces at that last one.
 
"Well, since it's clear that the happiness is what's troubling you most,"
Daniel said. "Why don't we start with that? Tell me, Lex, why do you feel
happy?"
 
Lex sighed and folded his arms across his chest. "It's an accumulation of
things. We're out of that environment, my brothers are safer here, my best
friend is back in the States. I'm just. . . maybe relieved is a better word for
it-- "
 
"No, no," Daniel interrupted. "You said happiness. And, Lex?" Daniel waited
until Lex met his eyes, then said, "It's okay to feel happy. It's okay to feel.
Your emotions aren't wrong."
 
Lex shook his head angrily. "Is that 'your' as in a universal 'you,' or 'your'
as in me specifically? Because I gotta tell you, if you're talking about
mankind and all its emotions being 'okay,'" and here Lex used air-quotes to
fully show his disdain, "then you're full of crap. And wrong. Dead wrong."
 
"Why do you say that? Which emotions are 'wrong?' Your word, not mine."
 
"The ones that caused all this to happen!" Lex shouted. "Every emotion my
father has is wrong. Every single one that allows him to think that what he did
was just fine. That's what I mean by 'wrong,' and I gladly use that term."
 
He turned his head back to the window, refusing to meet Daniel's understanding
gaze.
 
"Okay, Lex, I can take a hint," Daniel said quietly. "We'll move on. Colin?
What about you? What are you feeling right now?"
 
"Disgust, hatred, shame," Lin rattled off, his voice a monotone that Lex knew
was a bad sign. A quick glance at Daniel showed the man had the same suspicions
as Lex did regarding the object of those emotions.
 
"And what disgusts you, Colin? What do you hate? What are you ashamed of?"
Daniel asked, his face scrunched up in obvious dread of the answer.
 
Lin just smiled his Lionel-smile and said, "Me, of course. The answer is
'myself' to all three, but then," he gave a harsh chuckle, "none of us are
surprised by that, now are we? I mean, that's what all victims of abuse feel,
right? Every boy who's forced into sex with his father feels disgusted when he
looks in the mirror. Every 15-year-old hates himself, is ashamed of existing in
a world with good people. Clean people. Isn't that right, Dr. Tucker?"
 
"You're provoking me, Colin, but I'm not going to yell at you. I'm not going to
punish you." Daniel paused, then said quietly, "You can't make me leave this
time, Lin."
 
"Fuck you," Lin snarled. "I can make you leave if I want to. I can leave any
damn time I want. All I have to say is. . . " he stopped speaking, continuing
to look at Daniel intently. And the look on Lin's face was ugly -- harsh and
evil and snide. He had his Lionel-face on.
 
"Whatever you say, Lin," Daniel said in a rush. "Whatever happens next is up to
you." Lex studied the psychologist closely upon hearing that. Daniel sounded
panicked, almost like he was. . . guilty of something. "You're right, you're
not powerless anymore. Lionel isn't here to force you to do anything. It's up
to you."
 
"Right," he sneered in response, "just guilt me into silence. 'It's natural, my
boy.' That's what dear ol' Pops always told me. Don't you agree, Daniel? Sex is
a natural act, a natural part of love and life. What's wrong with showing
someone. . . just how much you love them?"
 
"You know what's wrong with it, Lin," Lex said quietly. Lin's head whipped
around to look at him, surprise that Lex had spoken clearly written all over
his face. "You forget yourself," he added, pointedly glancing at Lian who was
sitting on Lin's other side.
 
Lin slowly turned his head to look at Julian, his features hidden from Lex by
the angle.
 
"I've never been a good role model," he said. "Just ignore me, Lian."
 
"Shut up," Lex heard Lian say, and his eyebrows rose up at the tone of his
little bother's voice. Lian sounded angry. Really angry. "You may hate
yourself, but that doesn't mean I do. You saying mean and nasty things isn't
going to make me hate you, either. That's Dad's trick, Lin. And talking like
him isn't scaring me anymore, so just stop it. I'm sick of you always tearing
into yourself. I love you. I've always loved you. Lex loves you, and all these
other people do, too. Stop pushing us away and just let us love you." Lian
paused, taking a deep breath before saying, "And quit being a dick to Daniel.
You know he's only trying to help."
 
"Jesus, Lian," Lin muttered, wonder apparent in his voice. Lex leaned forward
to peer around Lin, looking at Lian sitting there calmly on the sofa, a tiny
smirk on his face.
 
"Well, Lian?" Daniel said, clearing his throat a little nervously. "What are
you feeling right now?"
 
"Hope, happiness." Lex had braced his arms on his legs, leaning forward far
enough that he saw as Lian next looked up at Lin with a warm, open smile on his
face.
 
"I feel love," Lian said, and Lex had to look away and blink rapidly.
 
But only because there was something in his eye.
 
 
***
 
 
Bruce didn't usually come to bed at night until around four in the morning. Lex
would wake up, the lingering tingle of a kiss on his neck or the glide of
Bruce's hand down his side bringing him to the surface.
 
He'd given up waiting up for him. Lex had tried that those first few nights,
shrugging off sleep until Bruce came back from being The Batman. After the
fourth night Lex had been awakened in the chair next to the bed, Bruce made him
promise to just go to bed. And he did, knowing it was pointless to stay up
worrying. Bruce would survive on his own. Lex losing sleep over him would do
nothing but make both of them tired and uncomfortable.
 
So, waking up to the feeling of a hand on his face wasn't all that surprising.
Lex sleepily smiled and placed his own hand atop Bruce's.
 
Looking over at the clock, he closed his eyes and murmured, "Back early? It's
not even three yet."
 
"Lex, you need to wake up and come with me."
 
Lex's eyes shot open and he sat up quickly, trying to make out Lin's body in
the darkness of the room.
 
"Lin? What's going on?"
 
"Bruce. . . he's been hurt. And I think you should come, okay?"
 
It was so dark, only a tiny sliver of moon in the sky tonight. Lex couldn't see
anything and Lin's hand was still resting on his cheek.
 
"Yeah," Lex said. He pushed the sheets back and climbed out of the bed. "Yeah,
let's go. Where is he?" he asked, already moving to the door and half-turning
back to catch Lin's expression.
 
"I'll show you," Lin replied, pushing past him in the hallway to take the lead.
 
They headed down the stairs towards the foyer. Then, at the entranceway, Lin
took a left into a part of the house that Lex didn't recall ever seeing before.
 
"Where are we?" he asked, after following Lin through yet another hallway.
"I've never been here before."
 
"You'll see," was all Lex got in reply. There was a set of black doors straight
ahead, Lin pushing them in when they'd reached them. After all the suspense,
Lex expected more than just another music room. It was pretty standard, as far
as these things went. A piano, several heavy bookshelves set with mirrored
backings, and a few groupings of chairs scattered around the room. Lin motioned
Lex into the room, promptly shutting the door tight after he'd passed through.
 
"What the hell is going on, Lin? Where's Bruce?" He tried to catch Lin's eyes,
but failed as the teen just turned his back to him and moved over to the piano.
Lex stared incredulously as he then plinked out a few notes on the keys. What
the fuck?
 
Then there was a swishing noise, and one of the bookshelves swung out to reveal
a. . . secret passage.
 
"God, it's like something out of a movie," Lex said. Lin tugged on his arm,
pulling him forward and Lex just followed his lead again.
 
Behind the bookcase was a crude metal lift, two levers designating which
direction it could go -- one to go up, the other down. Once they had shimmied
onto it, Lin finally looked at Lex. He looked worried, his brow furrowed and
his mouth twisted into a tight frown.
 
"Put your hands here," Lin told him, moving Lex's hands up to the railing that
encompassed the lift. "And hold on. I've only done this once before, so I-- "
 
Lin didn't get to finish what he was going to say, his words stolen by the
sudden plummet downwards. He'd jerked on the left lever, the one marked 'Down'
in Bruce's handwriting. The air whipped up at them, causing Lex's eyes to water
and he made the mistake of looking down.
 
There were lights beneath them, enough to show just how far they were
descending. . . and how fast.
 
"Oh God, oh God, oh God," Lex whispered, shutting his eyes tight and gripping
the rail hard in his hands. "Oh God, oh God, oh-- "
 
They came to a crashing stop, the bottom of the lift rattling ominously as Lin
slammed the lever back into its resting position.
 
" --God," Lex gasped. "What the-- what the hell was that?!" He turned to look
at Lin, only to have his fingers pried up and Lin take a hold of his hand
again. He pulled Lex out of the lift, and down yet another hallway, this one
more like a tunnel than the others.
 
"Almost there," Lin said quietly. They rounded a corner, and where Lex would
have stopped short at the sight, Lin kept moving forward, tugging him along
after.
 
Down below, in the middle of the huge cavern, Lex could make out Alfred. He was
leaning over something and--
 
It was Bruce, lying on a table, and Lin was saying, "Now will you listen?" in a
tense, angry voice.
 
"No hospitals," Bruce gritted out.
 
Lex shrugged off Lin's hand, striding quickly over to Bruce's curled form.
 
"What's wrong?" he asked, turning to look at Alfred and Colin as well. "Bruce?
What's-- Oh, my God!"
 
As Lex went to lay a hand on Bruce's shoulder, he finally got a good look at
what the man had been clutching at -- his whole left side was covered in blood.
The remnants of that black soldier suit Batman wore framed the huge wound,
which curved down Bruce's side, ending just above his hip.
 
So much blood, Lex thought. It must be deep.
 
"You fucking crazy bastard," Lex said. "You're going to the hospital even if I
have to knock you unconscious to get you there. Bruce! What the fuck were you
thinking?! This isn't some game, here. You're seriously wounded and-- "
 
"You think I don't know that?" Bruce rasped, tilting his head back so he could
meet Lex's eyes. "Feels like I'm on fire. . . "
 
"Then what the fuck are we still doing here?!" Lex exclaimed. "We'll get the
damn suit off you, if that's what the problem is, and then I'll drive you to
the hospital myself."
 
"Scary thought, that," Bruce replied in a pain-filled whisper. A ghost of a
smirk flitted across his lips before his face contorted in pain.
 
"Come on," Lex said. "Help me get him up, and we'll need-- "
 
"I'm not going to the hospital, Lex," Bruce said, in a surprisingly calm voice.
"I can't. Word of this gets out. . . and we're dead. They'll find out who I am
and-- " he stopped, clutching at his side again and gasping in pain.
 
"Well, I'm not just gonna let you bleed to death!" Lex shouted.
 
"Sir," Alfred broke in, moving closer to Lex. "I've already tried to convince
him, but it seems that we'll have to-- "
 
"Just sew it up."
 
Lex and Alfred turned as one to stare at Lin in surprise.
 
"What?" Lex asked, finally.
 
Lin waved a hand at Bruce. "Patch him up," he said, matter-of-factly. "You
know, with stitches and bandages."
 
"No, Lin," Lex began. "You can't just stitch someone back together. It doesn't
work like that. I don't know the first thing about how to do that, and I don't
think Alfred does, either, so-- "
 
"So I'll do it," Lin interrupted. "I bet you, Bruce has the equipment." He
turned to look down at Bruce. "Don't you, Bruce?"
 
Lex whipped his head around just in time to catch Bruce's nod. Glancing between
them, Lex asked, "What the hell?"
 
"Where is it?" Lin asked, moving to crouch down beside Bruce.
 
"Shelf. Over there," he gritted out, jerking his head to indicate a nearly-
invisible shelf along the wall to their left.
 
The words were barely out of his mouth, before there was a rush of wind and Lin
was suddenly placing a hand over Bruce's, slowly pulling it away from his side.
There was a large black case resting near the head of the table and, as Lex
watched, one of Lin's hands blurred over to it and back to Bruce's side in less
than a second.
 
"You are taking this," Lin said, assertiveness making him straighten up to his
full height. Lin opened his hand, in which he lightly held a syringe and a
small brown bottle. In response, Bruce shook his head, but Lin gripped his arm
tight and made him meet his eyes. "You will. Don't be stupid."
 
"Colin, I can't. . . " Bruce bit out, still trying to clutch at his side. Lex
met Lin's eyes briefly as he moved to take Bruce's hand. With a closer look,
Lex could easily see the fear in Lin's expression, the sheer panic masked by
that damned bravado of his. And it was fast becoming a tell. Whenever Lin felt
overwhelmed, he put on his Lionel mask and played cool and abrasive. And that
lift of the brow, that squinting Lin was doing was pure Lionel.
 
The kid looked scared out of his mind.
 
Lex grabbed Bruce's hand, forcing his attention away from Lin for the brief
moment it took to load the syringe with morphine. Staring into Bruce's eyes,
Lex bent over the table and wrapped his arms around the man's own, holding them
out of the way as Lin injected the narcotic.
 
"You'll be fine, now," Lex whispered to him. "Just go with it." He moved his
forehead to rest against Bruce's and said, "Let go, Bruce."
 
"Per-- personal. . . wisdom?" Bruce whispered back.
 
"You betcha," Lex replied, moving back to look into his eyes again. They were
glassy and, even as he watched, Lex saw them go dull. Finally Bruce's eyelids
fell shut, and Lex kissed the man's forehead before moving back and crossing
over to Lin.
 
"You know what you're doing?" he asked.
 
Lin nodded and turned to drag a small table closer. He began setting various
things out on its surface, motioning Lex back when he made a movement to touch
one of the large, curved needles.
 
"How?" Lex asked. "How do you know this? Lin," he said, grabbing Lin's arm to
get his attention. Lex stared into Lin's now calm eyes and asked, "Where did
you learn how to do this?"
 
"I was never hurt that long," Lin said. "After they took the green away, I was
fine. But I told you I wasn't the only one." He sounded hurt and angry that Lex
didn't already know the answer, that he hadn't already put it together.
 
"Lucas. You're talking about Lucas, aren't you?"
 
With a sneer, Lin replied, "He's only human. Just like you and Lian. Now, if
you'll move back, I'll start on this." And with a light nudge, Lin pushed him
aside.
 
Lex circled around the table again, catching sight of Alfred and closing the
distance between them. Alfred, too, looked scared, his normal collected
expression replaced by scrunched up worry and concern.
 
"He'll be fine," Lex said, softly. He placed a hand on Alfred's shoulder. "Just
look at Lin. He knows what he's doing."
 
Alfred nodded, gaze focused on Lin, as he dipped the thin curving needles into
alcohol.
 
"He'll be fine," Lex repeated. He, too, turned to watch Lin work, the teen's
hand blurring along Bruce's side so fast it was like watching a contained
whirlwind. A little more than a minute later and Lin was asking Alfred for some
warm water and a sponge.
 
"To clean it," he explained. "Before I put the bandages on, I always clean it
again. Just in case."
 
Alfred remained still for a moment, then shook himself and gave Lin a tired
smile. "I'll go get you some," he said, and turned away. He began picking his
way back towards the lift, and Lex watched him. Alfred didn't look back once,
just kept moving forward, even turning his back once he'd climbed into the
lift.
 
A glance back at Lin, and Lex sighed.
 
Same shit, different day.
 
 
***
 
 
After Alfred returned and Lin had cleaned the wound again, they managed to get
Bruce up to bed with no one else in the house seeing. The additional staff at
the manor wasn't as large as, say, Lionel's house, but there were still enough
people around to warrant more discretion than usual. Wouldn't do to have
someone see Lin carrying a passed out Bruce up to his room.
 
Lex walked in front, moving forward to open the bedroom door for Lin. Colin
walked over to the bed and gently shifted Bruce under the covers, pulling them
up to the man's chin and smoothing them out. He stepped back, met Lex's eyes
and headed for the door again.
 
"You're gonna stay with him?" Lin asked, pausing just inside the doorway. Lex
nodded, turning back to look at Bruce's lax limbs and forced stillness. "Good.
Because that morphine is still a risk for awhile. Lucas once-- " Lin started,
but cut himself off. Lex turned his head to look at him, but Lin wouldn't meet
his eyes. "I'll keep Lian away," he said quietly. "Maybe tomorrow, right?"
 
Lex nodded, still trying to get the kid to look at him. "Yeah, Bruce'll be
awake by then, hopefully. It won't seem so bad tomorrow."
 
With a last nod, Lin left the room, closing the door softly behind him.
 
Lex went to lie down on the bed next to Bruce -- a mockery of their usual
positions.
 
"Just you and me and our good friend morphine," Lex said, putting his arms
behind his head and crossing his ankles. "And the hits just keep on coming. . .
"
 
 
***
 
 
Around noon, there was a light knock on the door, which turned out to be Lin.
He came in, sketchbook and pencil in hand, and shrugged when Lex asked him why
he was there.
 
"Liza took Lian to the museum," Lin said. He dragged a chair over to the foot
of the bed, propping his feet up on the footboard and ruffling through the
pages of his sketchbook briefly, before finally settling on a blank page.
 
"You going to draw us?" Lex asked, raising his eyebrows.
 
Lin smiled a little, eyes still on the pad. "No," he said. "Bruce wouldn't like
the thought of me seeing him like this." Lin looked up. "He won't like that
you're seeing him like this."
 
"Well, too damn bad. I'll just tell him that's what he gets for being a
superhero -- when he gets hurt, I'm going to see he's not perfect." Lex turned
his head to look at Bruce, still unconscious but breathing deeply and steadily.
"Idiot," he said, fondly, reaching out to push some of Bruce's hair back from
his forehead.
 
"What's it like?" Lin asked, causing Lex to jerk his hand away. He looked over
to see Lin focused on Bruce's face. A vague feeling of dread began to creep up,
and Lex slid up on the bed into a sitting position, his back against the
headboard.
 
"What's 'what' like?" he returned.
 
Lin's eyes shifted over to glance at Lex before he went back to staring at
Bruce.
 
"Being in love," Lin said.
 
What? How would Lex know what being in love felt like? He'd never once been--
 
Oh.
 
With a small laugh, Lex said, "Lin, I'm not-- I mean, Bruce and I? We're not
really-- "
 
Lin interrupted him with a disdainful snort.
 
"Well, we're not!" Lex protested, angrily. "I mean, we're good friends and all,
but I don't think we'll ever really be more than that."
 
Lin just stared at him with his eyebrows raised, a small, disbelieving smirk on
his face. "So because you think you two don't have a future together, that
somehow means you can't be in love?" He shook his head and sighed. "Lex, that's
about the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Who told you that?"
 
"I don't know what you're talking about," Lex replied, stiffly. He turned his
head to glare at the window.
 
"Oh, geez, don't be like that," Lin said. "Look, I'm sorry, but you're wrong,
okay? Loving someone isn't contingent upon them loving you back. A lot of the
time, that's what makes you love them in the first place."
 
Glancing at Colin quickly, then returning to look out the window, Lex asked,
"What do you mean? I would think loving someone is all about reciprocation. Why
do it if the person you love doesn't even know you exist? Or, better yet,
totally despises you? Where's the reward in that?"
 
For a second, Lex thought he'd stumped Colin. That was, until he heard the
laughter. Turning to glare at him, Lex saw Lin holding his stomach, apparently
overcome by the humor in Lex's words.
 
"What?" he asked, peeved. "What's funny about that?"
 
Sighing, Lin met Lex's eyes again. There was a spark there, a flare of
something that made Colin look more alive in that moment than he had for. . . a
long time.
 
"You think loving someone is a choice," Lin said, mouth quirked up in what Lex
was guessing to be pity. "Lex," he said, moving his feet off the bed and
putting them on the floor. He rested his forearms on his thighs and told him,
"You love someone and that's it. That's all there is to it. You can't make
yourself feel something, or not feel something. Emotions aren't under your
control. And being in love. . . " Lin had a dreamy look on his face, his gaze
once more moving over Bruce's features. "Being in love is like the holy grail
of emotion."
 
Lex just stared at this person in front of him and felt out of his depth. Lin
knew more about life than Lex did most of the time. What the hell did that say
about him?
 
"When'd you get so smart?" he asked instead, in an attempt to change the
subject. "You know what, I miss that little boy who used to ask me why we had
to use silverware to eat. That was an interesting teaching session, let me tell
you!"
 
Lex chuckled and Lin dimpled in embarrassment. After a moment, though, he
snorted in amusement, meeting Lex's eyes with a smirk.
 
"You told me it was because it looked good in one's hand, the silverware. You
also said that socks were ridiculous, but wearing them made Mom happy, and that
if I wanted to run around naked I had to stick to the east section of the
second floor."
 
Lex laughed out loud, having forgotten all that and looking at Lin in a new
light. "And, if I recall correctly, you did stick to the east wing. Isn't that
how Mary got fired?"
 
Lin nodded and laughed. "Yeah, Mom stumbled across me one day, bare-ass naked
right in the middle of the hall, and Mary passed out drunk still in the
playroom. You remember that room?" Lex nodded, smiling nostalgically. "The one
with the mural on the wall. I loved that mural. You know," Lin said, once again
leaning back in his chair. "That was one of the first things I ever drew."
 
"What was the first thing?" Lex dared.
 
Lin met his eyes, seeming to search for something for a moment. Then, with a
small, bitter smile he said, "Mom. I wanted to try and carry her hair around
with me because. . . because of the color, I think. I'd never seen anything
that color before."
 
"Never?" Lex asked, raising his eyebrows. "Or never?"
 
Lin broke the eye contact, dropping his head down. His hands were twirling the
pencil around and around in his hand, Lin's way of fidgeting.
 
"I don't-- I don't really know," he finally confessed. "I just remember that
was the first thing I saw. When I came there, and he introduced me as her new
son, I remember her hair was what made me go over to her." Lin's shoulders were
tense and his whole body was rigid in the seat, but his voice was soft and. . .
so full of sadness. And love.
 
"It was so soft, too," Lex said quietly. Lin's head came up and he nodded,
meeting Lex's sad gaze. "I can still smell her perfume sometimes, if I think
about it. Roses, and lavender. Jasmine. I've tried to find out what it was a
few times over the years, but I haven't managed to. Maybe it was specially made
for her, I don't know."
 
"Did she-- did Mom ever wear a blue necklace?" Lin asked, hesitantly. He was
looking at Lex, eyes on his, but unfocused and with that dreamy quality to
them.
 
"Blue? I honestly can't recall. Maybe. She had so much jewelry, I don't think I
could ever remember it all. I wonder what he did with it after she died.
Probably threw it away or sold it, knowing him."
 
Lin shook his head, eyes still far away. "No, he kept some things," he said.
"That pearl choker she liked to wear when she had to get dressed up, and the
butterfly brooch she always kept in her pocket." Lin's eyes finally flicked
over to Lex's, something dark and angry in their depths. "He kept them in the
top drawer of his night stand, along with his gun and another meteor rock
necklace."
 
Lex just sighed and leaned his head back against the headboard. "What a prick."
He heard Lin's startled chuckle and smiled.
 
But as he thought about it, it made a certain kind of sense. Lionel was
practical. In his head, the man most likely reasoned that the most important
things in his life belonged together, safe and within easy reach. The weapon
that could protect him from most intruders, and the other that would protect
him against the only one that that gun wouldn't stop. The fact that Lionel kept
his dead wife's jewelry so close by could actually be considered a compliment
to her. The choker and brooch served no real purpose other than recalling some
of their former owner's presence. They couldn't protect Lionel, not like the
gun or the necklace made of meteor rock.
 
The only reason Lex could think of as to why Lionel would keep her jewelry
there, the only one that might make any sense, was one he definitely didn't
want to contemplate.
 
Because he had loved her, and missed her.
 
"'He's only human,'" Lex murmured to himself, "'just like you and Lian.'"
 
Colin had said that about Lucas, but it applied to Lionel, as well.
 
He was only a man.
 
 
***
 
 
Bruce didn't fully come awake until about mid-afternoon. And when he did, the
first thing out of his mouth had to do with repairing his Batman suit.
 
Lex forced out a smile, told Bruce he'd have Alfred come up and talk to him,
and then had promptly left the room. Sometimes, you had to pick your battles,
and arguing with a still-injured Bruce Wayne about the man's suicidal crusade
was not one that Lex wanted to fight. Not today.
 
But, when he went downstairs, it was to the sight of several large men hauling
numerous cardboard boxes into the foyer. Alfred was standing right in the
middle of the sea of brown cubes, signing something on a clipboard for the man
next to him.
 
"There you are," Alfred said, handing the clipboard back. The mover took it,
and with a faint zip sound, tore off a sheet of paper which he handed to
Alfred.
 
"Your copy," the guy told him. And with a nod, the guy moved away, crossing the
entranceway with long, deliberate strides. "Watch it there, Frank!" he yelled,
when one of the men nearly dropped a box.
 
Picking his way through the chaos, Lex sidled up to Alfred and asked, "What's
going on?"
 
Alfred turned to him with a smile. "Your things have arrived, sir." And at
Lex's confused look, he went on to say, "From Boston. Master Bruce arranged to
have everything packed and shipped here the other day. It's just now arrived."
 
"Bruce," Lex stated. With a sigh, he clapped Alfred on the back and started
peeking into the already moved-in boxes. Over near the grandfather clock, there
was a thin crate that made Lex do a double take. He walked over to it, and
after a moment figured out what it must be.
 
He patted the crate before moving on to the other boxes.
 
 
***
 
 
"What's this, Lex?" Lian asked, holding up a thick, black strap out of the box.
 
Lex smiled. "My camera," he replied, turning back towards the many boxes of
books he'd been sorting through. "There was a time when I fancied myself a true
photographer in the making." Lex glanced back at Lian, before saying,
"Unfortunately, I became more interested in the camera itself and the chemicals
one used than in the aesthetic aspect. That's when I knew it was time to get
out of the darkroom and back into the lab."
 
Lian laughed and yanked on the strap of the camera bag, eventually managing to
dislodge the thing from its well-packed niche. Lex turned back to his books,
smiling as he heard the bag being unzipped.
 
"Lex?" came Lin's voice from across the room, and with a slight giddy feeling,
Lex looked up again.
 
"Yeah?" he called back, spotting Lin over by the clock -- standing uneasily in
front of the large crate.
 
"Is this-- Uh, where do you want this?" Lin sounded nervous, and he kept an eye
on the crate like he thought it might bite him.
 
"Why don't you open it, Lin?" Lex asked. He set the stack of books in his hand
down on the floor, and slowly crossed the distance over to Lin. When he'd come
up beside him, Lex said, "We can open it together."
 
Lin turned his head to look at Lex, furrowed brow and down-turned mouth showing
his discomfort. Lex just laid a hand on his shoulder and gave him a reassuring
smile.
 
"I'll go get a hammer," Lex said, starting to move away. "Maybe a crowbar, or
something-- "
 
Lin's hand darted out, grabbing Lex's arm and stopping him. Searching out Lin's
eyes, Lex was surprised by the sudden smugness he saw there.
 
"I don't think we'll be needing those," was all Lin said with a smirk. "Lian!"
he shouted, beckoning the boy over when Lian looked up. Setting the old camera
down carefully, Julian got to his feet quickly, bounding over and coming to a
stop on Lex's other side.
 
"Yeah?" he asked, looking between Lex, Lin and the crate curiously.
 
"I just wanted you to see this," Lin responded. Releasing Lex's arm and moving
closer to the crate, Lin bent down slightly and placed a hand on either side of
a seam in the wood. He took a slow, deep inhalation of breath, then, with a
loud crack, ripped the wooden case apart. The wood easily splintered and broke
away, and within ten seconds all that was left standing was a large, sheet-
wrapped rectangle. Lin shuffled back to stand even with Lex and Lian, the
pieces of the former crate littering the tile floor.
 
"What are we looking at?" Lian asked quietly. When Lex looked down at him, Lian
was tilting his head to the side and squinting, like if he could just find the
right angle it would all make sense. Lex chuckled, still looking at him, and
Lian jerked his head up with scowl and gave Lex a little shove with his hands.
"Well, you tell me what we're doing, then," he said, with a pout.
 
"It's a drawing Lin did a long time ago," Lex said. "Lin?" he asked, waiting
until he looked over before continuing. In a softer voice, "I think you should
unwrap it. It's your drawing, after all."
 
Lin shook his head with a frown. "No, it's yours," he replied. "I gave it to
you. That makes it yours."
 
Lex quirked his lips up, amused by Lin's logic. With a shrug, he took the few
steps to the painting and slowly undid the wrapping. When he'd loosened it
enough, Lex gave one final tug and the entire thing fell away, leaving--
 
It was Lian's gasp that made Lex step back. From his angle, from where'd he'd
been standing -- clutching that sheet tight in his hands -- Lex had been face-
to-face with her. With Mom.
 
He stepped back and took in the whole of the drawing. It was a large one, all
right. Lex remembered marveling at how big it was when Colin had given it to
him for Christmas that year.
 
Their first Christmas together. Lex had been 11, and Lin was just four. Or
thereabouts.
 
"When'd you do this, Lin?" Julian asked. His voice was only a little above a
whisper, and Lex wrapped an arm around the boy's shoulders.
 
"That first Christmas," Lin answered. "I gave it to Lex. And to Mom. I thought-
- " He paused, and Lex looked over at him. Lin was frowning again, but not in
anger or frustration or confusion. Lex could tell that much. "I thought we
could all look at it," Colin murmured. "And we'd all smile, and it'd hang
somewhere for years and the next year I could do another one, with all of us in
it -- Lex and Mom, and me, even Da--  . . . and then the new baby who was
coming. . . but-- " Lin stopped, shaking his head and looking away. He turned
his head and took another one of those deep breaths. Then, without looking at
Lex or Lian, he said, "I'm going to go see if Liza needs anything," and left.
 
Lex watched Lin climb the stairs steadily, but didn't miss the fact that the
teen's hands were clenched into fists at his side. With a one-armed hug to
Lian, Lex said, "I haven't even looked at it since then." He felt Lian's eyes
on him, glancing down briefly before going on. "I put it away after Mom died,
and never looked at it again." He gave a low chuckle. "And here I thought I'd
be the one who'd break first."
 
"She's beautiful," Lian said, his voice soft with wonder and sadness.
 
Lex nodded, squeezing him close. He looked towards the stairs again, now empty,
and said, "She was the most amazing woman I've ever known."
 
 
***
 
 
After sorting through everything, Lex sent Lian off to clean up and headed
towards Bruce's room to do the same. When he drew closer to the door, though,
he heard voices -- angry voices -- and ended up coming to a stop in the middle
of the hallway.
 
It felt wrong to eavesdrop, but it was Lin shouting, Bruce shrugging him off
and being all defensive about his actions. Lex knew it was wrong, but that
didn't make his feet move.
 
" --and next time you're going to end up with more than 'just a cut.'" That was
Lin mocking Bruce, which was a sure-fire way to piss the man off.
 
"It happens. You expect me to just give up because I got hurt? I got hurt; I'll
heal. I also cut my hair and it grows back. I shave every day -- well, not
today, but you get my point-- "
 
"Fine," Lin said, and Lex could hear the strain in his voice even from out
here. "You get murdered tonight -- cos don't think I'm stupid enough to believe
you're staying in bed -- and I'll have to be the one who tells Lex. Who makes
sure he knows you're not coming back, you selfish prick."
 
There was a pause, where Lex could tell Bruce had said something, but couldn't
make out the exact words, which was then followed by Lin demanding, "What'd you
say?" in a cold voice.
 
"Oh, come on," Bruce replied, sarcastically. "You say you're not stupid, that
you know me so well. Well, it works both ways, Lin. Green is a good color on
you, you know. Brings out those pretty eyes so nicely."
 
"I'm not jealous! I'm concerned. Though there's no reason why you should know
that, considering you've never had anyone care about you. Right? Big, bad Bruce
Wayne is all alone in this harsh world. No one loves him, the poor billionaire.
What a crock of shit."
 
"Maybe you'd better take your teenage temper tantrum somewhere else," Bruce
replied. Lex recognized it as part of the man's 'calm mask.' The calm in the
eye of the storm, that was.
 
"I knew him first!" Colin shouted. "I've known him longer, and losing you is
not something he'd just get over-- "
 
"Loved him first, you mean." There was another pause, then Bruce added, "Loved
him longer, love him more. Stop me when I overstep."
 
"I love Lex, yes," Lin said, and Lex felt the urge to put a hand over his own
mouth to hide how fast he was breathing. Jesus Christ. "I've loved him for
years. But that's not the point, and you know it. You're scared, and you're
hurt and you're still harboring the belief that no one loves you! And I am here
because you need to realize how completely fucking wrong you are."
 
"Why, do you love me, Lin? Do you look up to me and respect me and-- ?"
 
"Yes, I do! I fucking love you! And you know Lex does, and Alfred and Julian,
and that lady lawyer Rachel. . . Jesus Christ, Bruce. You're not the only one
who's had bad shit happen to him."
 
Another pause, during which Lex quietly walked over to the wall and leaned
against it heavily. He brought his hands up to his face and ran them over and
over his head. He clenched them into fists and willed himself to just walk
away. Walk away, he told himself.
 
Walk away.
 
"Colin, just leave it alone," Bruce said, and there was a certain tone in his
voice that made Lex especially nervous. Bruce used to get into fights at
school. At Excelsior, he was often called 'The Psycho.' Crazy Wayne. But it
wasn't his nickname that got Bruce riled up. It was when the other boys picked
on someone smaller, some poor nerdy kid who had no clue how to defend himself.
 
Lex had been 'The Freak,' and every time someone called him that around Bruce.
. . that was when Bruce proved his nickname remarkably apt.
 
"Leave, now, and we won't say anything else about this," Bruce was saying.
"I'll forget that you ever said-- "
 
"You'll shut me up, too? Push me away like you do everyone? Like Rachel and
Alfred? Like Lex. Your parents were killed, Bruce. That doesn't mean you have
to be dead, too."
 
And with that, Lex could tell Lin was walking away -- leaving the room and
coming straight towards him.
 
As quickly and quietly as he could, Lex scuttled down the hallway, jerking open
a door on the left and throwing himself through it. And slowly, slowly, trying
desperately to be as sneaky as he could, Lex eased the door closed behind him.
Please, God, don't let Lin have seen me, he thought. Don't let him know I was
there.
 
Lex stayed in that room -- some semi-dusty guest room -- for over an hour. He
sat on the floor, against the wall, and never fully closed the door at his
elbow, afraid that somehow, even 70 minutes later, Bruce would hear it if he
did, and know Lex had been listening.
 
Lex sat there, sweaty, dirty, and kept replaying what he'd heard of the
conversation over and over in his head.
 
He loved Lin, too. But he knew neither Bruce nor Lin had meant it in the same
way. . .
 
 
***
 
 
"Did you have a car there, too?" Lian asked. His food had been abandoned about
20 minutes ago in favor of asking Lex endless questions about Boston and all
the things he'd kept at his house. Julian was poised on the end of his chair,
staring at Lex in avid fascination as he related stories of his neighbors and
daily life in that city. "What was it? One of those fast ones? Or like Alfred's
car, maybe? The-- the Rolls?"
 
"I drove a silver Porsche," Lex replied, with a bemused smile. Lian looked as
excited and happy as a puppy, like he was one step away from wagging his tail.
"Actually-- Alfred?" Lex said, turning to get the other man's attention. "Is
that being delivered, too? Or what did Bruce have planned, do you know?"
 
"I believe it's being flown in tomorrow, sir. Along with Master Julian's
birthday presents and a special surprise for Master Colin." Alfred looked smug,
and Lex would swear the man had just winked at him.
 
"Presents?" Lian squealed, his face as bright as a Christmas morning. "Bruce
got me presents?"
 
"Oh, I'm sure of it," Lex said, grinning.
 
"And Lin gets something, too!" Lian enthused. "What do you think it is, Lin?
Did he get you a. . . a horse?"
 
Lex watched Lin's face break into a grin, as the teen turned to Lian and put on
a thoughtful expression.
 
"Maybe a. . . rocket ship?" he guessed.
 
"A whole skyscraper," Lian suggested, before hiding his laughter behind his
hands. "He's having the whole thing flo-- flown here," he said, in between
giggles.
 
"Maybe it's a. . . dog," Lin said. His face was vaguely wistful before he
caught Lian's eyes again and added, "You know, one of those Shih Tzus."
 
Lian just laughed even harder, his face turning red and his little body
shaking.
 
"Yeah," Lin continued, nodding. "I'm pretty sure Bruce knows how much I love
Shih Tzus, and decided to get me one out of the kindness of his heart. . . "
 
There was a wheezing sound coming from Lian, and Lex grew a little concerned -
- hazy memories of his own asthma attacks running through his mind. But Lian
was just out of breath from laughing. As the boy dropped his hands and sucked
in a lungful of air, Lex himself released some of his worry on an exhale. It
was good to see the two of them laughing and playing, especially Lin. And
considering what Lex had overheard in the hallway earlier, it was also
gratifying to know that no matter how upset or angry Lin was with Bruce -- with
anybody, Lex would guess -- he'd never take that frustration out on Lian. Not
that Lex had ever really thought he would, but. . . it was just good to have
proof.
 
"If I may, sirs?" Alfred asked, bracing his hands on the table top as he leaned
forward. There was a small conspiring sort of smile on the butler's face, and
Lex caught the man's eye and, with a lifted eyebrow, returned the wink from a
few moments ago. "I believe the surprise in question bears a certain kinship
with Master Lex's Porsche."
 
"A. . . car?" Lin asked, incredulously. "He bought me a car?" Lin looked to
Lex, confusion written all over his face. "Why?"
 
"For your birthday?" Lian suggested. Then shaking his head, the boy said, "But
that was back in August."
 
"Not always," Lex said. Sharing a look with Lin, he went on. "Used to be, Lin
celebrated his birthday with Mom." Lex shrugged. "Perhaps Bruce hopes to
reclaim that tradition."
 
Lin smirked. "Works for me," he said, leaning back in his chair and crossing
his arms over his chest. "This way, I get two birthdays this year. . . and
never have to share one again."
 
Lex nodded, understanding. "So," he said after a moment. "Who're you going to
have teach you to drive?"
 
Lin smiled. "Hey, Alfred?" he asked, eyes still on Lex's, "you busy tomorrow?"
 
 
***
 
 
When Lex went up to check on Bruce after dinner, he walked in on the man's
pitiful attempts to get out of bed. Bruce was standing. . . sort of. He had one
hand braced on the mattress, his other clutching at his side, and was breathing
like he'd just run a marathon.
 
"You're one stupid son-of-a-bitch," Lex said in a conversational tone from the
doorway. Bruce's head darted up, showing Lex eyes half-closed in pain and a
bottom lip torn bloody.
 
"Lex. . . " Bruce started, but he gasped halfway through whatever he'd been
about to say and Lex strode over to him quickly. He came around behind Bruce,
wrapping an arm around him and trying to get him back into the bed.
 
"Now's not the time," Lex told him. He managed to gently push Bruce back so
that he was sitting, then bent down and brought the man's legs up onto the
mattress as well. Taking another look at how pale Bruce was, Lex reached over
and poured a glass of water from the pitcher on the night table. Alfred, he
guessed, thinking it just like the butler to make sure everything was right
there. "Batman is taking a holiday. And Bruce is staying in this bed until he
can get out of it without whimpering."
 
"I didn't whimper," Bruce muttered sullenly. But he took the glass of water Lex
offered him.
 
"You gonna keep trying, or can you finally see the problem with this
situation?"
 
Bruce just met Lex's frown with one of his own, sipping at the water in between
heavy sighs. Lex, himself, sighed, then turned to pull up a chair, dragging it
next to the bed and sitting down.
 
"You really need to just heal," Lex said. "You won't do anyone any good this
way. Well," he said, after a moment's consideration. "The criminals you try to
stop might thank you."
 
"I get it," Bruce replied tersely. "No more escapes."
 
Lex snorted and said, "Like you could! I'm sure we'd hear your bitter rants as
you tried to navigate those stairs. . . have to apologize to Liza for a week.
You forget, I've seen you pissed off before. You curse worse than a sailor."
 
Bruce's lips twitched, which was all Lex had been hoping for. He stretched out
his legs, shifting in the chair to a more comfortable way of sitting.
 
"So," Lex said, trying for distracted. "Most of my stuff arrived today. From my
place in Boston." He waited for a reaction, but all Bruce did was blink at him.
"When'd you arrange that?"
 
"Last week," Bruce replied after a brief hesitation. "It was obvious that you
weren't going back there, so I. . . figured I'd help out."
 
Lex nodded, smirking. "Well, thank you. It'd totally escaped my mind. With
everything else that's been going on, I just. . . " He trailed off, meeting
Bruce's eyes and seeing the understanding there.
 
"You're welcome." Bruce slowly slid down the headboard, coming to a stop when
his head could rest on the pillows. "I'm supposed to be tired, aren't I?" he
asked.
 
Lex shrugged. "I guess. I mean, that's what I'd think, but. . . you aren't?"
 
Bruce shook his head a little, his hair rasping on the pillow. "No, not
really."
 
"You in any pain?" Lex asked, then felt like hitting himself for the sheer
stupidity of the question. "I mean, do you want me to get you something?"
 
Bruce smirked. "What, have Colin come up here and shoot me up again?"
 
Lex winced, and tried to smile. "Bruce Wayne: Morphine Addict. You should have
that leaked to the press. Then it would really be inconceivable that you were
the Batman, all doped up and incoherent," he teased.
 
"Lex?"
 
"I still find it amusing that everyone buys this whole facade of yours. All
that media attention you used to get -- remember that article a few years back?
The one that White guy did? About how you, Queen and I were all too messed up
to be trusted with our respective companies?" Lex shook his head and chuckled.
"And now they're all doing a double-take with Luthorcorp, and you no longer
look like a sociopath. Now you're just another good-for-nothing playboy with
too much time and money on his han--"
 
"Lex, quit stalling," Bruce said quietly.
 
" --ds. What?"
 
Bruce just raised an eyebrow at him. "You're stalling, which means something's
being mulled over in that head of yours quite seriously. What is it?"
 
"No," Lex protested. "No, I was just trying to distract you. You said you
didn't want any more morphine, so I thought getting your mind off it would
help. With the pain."
 
"Is this about Colin?" Bruce asked, staring at Lex's face intently.
 
Lex didn't know what expression was on his face, but something gave it away.
Bruce sighed heavily and closed his eyes.
 
"You heard, didn't you?" he asked, finally opening his eyes again and staring
at the ceiling.
 
"I did, yes," Lex said after a moment.
 
Bruce's lips twitched again, and before Lex knew it the man was. . . smiling.
 
"What?" Lex asked, confused and mesmerized by that tiny smile. "What's so
funny?"
 
"This has got to be a new record for us," Bruce replied, turning to meet Lex's
eyes. "No secrets? Everything out in the open, for all of us." He shook his
head and the smile faltered, his expression finally fading back into his usual
somberness. "I don't think I could have told you."
 
"That you love me?" Lex asked gently. "That-- that Lin loves me?"
 
"He does, you know. He loves you so desperately, with everything he has. Lex,"
Bruce said, stretching a hand out for him to take. Lex gripped it and Bruce
squeezed his hand tightly. "I can't love you the way he does. I can't-- I can't
give you everything." He shook his head and his eyes went distant for a moment.
"I don't want you to have to see everything there is of me."
 
"That's bullshit, and you know it," Lex replied heatedly. "You're not some
monster, Bruce. I won't run away from you. Ever."
 
Bruce closed his eyes again. "It's okay. I've seen it coming for awhile now-- "
 
"What? Me leaving you for-- for Colin?! How is that something that would ever
cross your mind? I sure as hell never saw it coming."
 
Bruce just smiled that smile again, opening his eyes and keeping them focused
on the ceiling.
 
"Talk to him; tell him you know." He turned and met Lex's incredulous stare.
"Make him stay."
 
"What do you mean?"
 
"We're all so much alike sometimes," Bruce said. "I ran, you ran. Lex," and he
squeezed his hand again. "Don't let Lin run, too. Make him stay," he repeated,
then moved his hand away. Bruce closed his eyes again. "I think I'm actually
tired now," he murmured. And sure enough, a few moments later, Bruce's
breathing evened out and he was asleep.
 
 
***
 
 
Lex sat at Bruce's bedside for awhile, before rising and leaving the room. He
didn't really intend to seek out Lin, but somehow ended up in the entertainment
room anyway. Earlier over dinner, Lian had said he and Lin were going to watch
some tv tonight, something Lionel had never allowed them. Lex well remembered
all the rants and lectures they'd each had growing up, about it rotting the
brain and making them imbeciles. He also remembered that the first few days he
and Bruce had lived together in their house outside Princeton, Lex had flipped
through the channels on their television set every chance he got.
 
So when Lex entered the dimly lit room, he naturally expected two people.
Instead, there were four -- Lian, Lin, Alfred, and Liza. Alfred was reclining
in one of the lush leather chairs, and as Lex came farther into the room he
smiled tiredly. Lin was sitting in the middle of the couch, Lian on his left,
engrossed in the tv, and Liza on his right. She met Lex's eyes and raised her
eyebrows, her gaze pointedly shifting down to the head resting on her shoulder.
 
Lin was asleep on Liza's shoulder, and Lex smiled.
 
"Hey," he said, coming up to Lian and laying a hand on the kid's shoulder. On
the tv, some cops were busting into a warehouse, guns blazing. "Whatcha
watching, Kiddo?"
 
Lian, eyes still riveted to the screen, replied distractedly, "Law & Order. I
like it. They catch bad guys."
 
"They don't always, Julian," Liza said quietly. "Sometimes the criminals get
away. And sometimes the suspects aren't even guilty."
 
Lian shrugged, rubbing his shoulders against the back of the couch as though
his shirt were too tight. "I like it when they're sent to prison," he said, and
Lex felt himself shiver at the coldness of Lian's voice.
 
"So," Lex said into the silence. "I can see Lin found it as equally
stimulating."
 
Liza smiled and looked down at her charge. "He must have been just exhausted.
Barely made it through the opening sequence before he was out." She looked up
at Lex and asked, "How's Bruce?"
 
Lex smiled. "Sleeping, as well," he told her.
 
She raised her eyebrows, and her lips quirked up a little. "Well," she mused,
turning back to the tv. "Well."
 
"There's another one after this," Lian said quietly when the program went to
commercial. He met Lex's eyes and asked, "You wanna stay and watch with us?" He
sounded warily hopeful. With his previous thoughts of Lionel and Lionel's rules
still plaguing him, Lex wanted to make sure Lian knew it was okay to watch tv.
 
He wanted to show them that he wasn't. . . like Lionel in any way.
 
 
***
 
 
Lex went to bed that night around midnight, staying up with Liza and Alfred
long after Lian had gone to bed. Lin had remained sound asleep until about 11:
30, when he woke with a flinch and a stifled scream. Liza had taken him
upstairs then, a calming hand on his shoulder as she guided him out of the
room.
 
Then Alfred made his excuses and Lex was all alone again.
 
When he woke up the next morning, Bruce was gone. Lex went to the bathroom and
followed his morning rituals, dressed, and at 8:43 left the master bedroom on
his way down to the kitchen. But as he came closer to the doors, Lex became
aware of panicked voices coming from inside. Picking up his pace, he pushed his
way into the kitchen, coming to a stop just inside the doorway.
 
" --just calm down, okay? Deep breaths and we'll figure this out. There's no
need to panic, Colin. Just keep breathi-- "
 
" --what it is! Why can't I see, Alfred? Lin? Lin, what's wrong? We should get
Lex here. He'd know what to-- "
 
" --now, Master Colin, please. This isn't doing anybody any good. You just sit
back down and I'll go and fetch your brother, yes? Would that be-- "
 
"Have you seen this?!" Lin shouted from across the room. His wide eyes were
pinned on Lex, and he looked to be in the middle of a panic attack. In Lin's
hand was a tightly-rolled newspaper, and Lex had a guess as to what might have
set him off.
 
"Seen what, Lin?" Lex replied in his calmest, most soothing tone of voice.
 
"This!" he screamed, throwing the rolled-up paper at him. Lex caught it and Lin
began pacing, yanking at his hair and breathing erratically.
 
"Lin, you need to calm down, okay?" Lex said. He slowly walked closer to him,
noticing Liza had kept Lian on the far side of the room and that Alfred had
started moving away, too. That left Lex and Lin in close proximity, as the teen
came pacing closer to Lex. "I don't care what's in here," he said, holding up
the newspaper. "First thing is, you have to calm down."
 
"You don't care?!" Lin screeched, coming to an abrupt stop in front of Lex. He
stared at him in shock, and again Lin raised his hands to his head, his fingers
digging into his short hair and tugging at it almost unconsciously.
 
"Whatever it is, it's not worth you getting this upset over," Lex said. If he
could just get him to stop ripping at his hair, then--
 
Lin gave a tearing, grating laugh then said, "It's all in there, Lex." He met
Lex's eyes and there was such hopelessness there. Lin's eyes were dead again,
just like they used to be, like they hadn't been for weeks now. "All the
charges they're pressing against him. Stuff about me and what-- what he did."
He dropped his hands down in a defeated manner, then raised his left one to
shakily point at the paper in Lex's hands. "All of it, in there."
 
Lex shook his head and sighed. "It still doesn't change anything." Lin hung his
head, and Lex leaned over in an attempt to catch his eyes. "It doesn't change
how I see you."
 
Lin laughed that humorless laugh again, raising his head and staring at Lex
like he was a stranger.
 
"You say that now. . . " he murmured, shaking his head. With lightning-quick
movement, Lin pushed past Lex and hurtled out of the kitchen.
 
"Is it bad?" came Lian's scared voice, and Lex looked over at him sadly.
 
"I don't know," Lex replied. He slowly trudged over to the table, dropping into
a chair and unfolding the newspaper. "I didn't even look. I was too focused on
getti-- Oh, shit."
 
"I tried to hide it this morning, sir," Alfred said. "But Master Colin
cheerfully took it away from me when I did. Said he wanted to read the comics
to Master Julian."
 
"Damn, damn, damn," Lex whispered. He scanned the article -- a reprint of one
originally turned in to The Daily Planet.
 
 
'Luthor House of Horror: DA Charges Lionel Luthor with Incest and Sexual
Abuse.'
 
 
"Where would he go, Lian?" Lex asked, raising his head and looking at his
brother sadly.
 
Lian shrugged. His eyes looked wet and Lex reached over to pull him into a hug.
"Maybe the library?" Lian suggested, his head pressed into Lex's neck.
 
"Yeah," Lex sighed, squeezing Lian tight. "Yeah, we'll check there first."
 
Over Lian's back, Lex's eyes darted down to the article again. And he mentally
flipped off the byline.
 
When he got his hands on Thom Aerson, Lex was gonna make sure the man knew just
how much damn trouble and pain his articles had caused them.
 
 
***
 
 
Interrupt
 
 
Dad was shouting and Lian didn't know what to do. He was stuck standing in
front of his chair, too afraid to move for fear that he'd get yelled at, too.
 
" --you'd better!" Dad was saying. His voice had gone softer now, but Lian knew
he was still angry. Just cos Dad wasn't screaming, didn't mean he wasn't mad.
"I won't have this happening anymore. I just won't. You hear me?" he demanded,
reaching out and grabbing Lin's chin. "Hel-looo? Anyone in there?"
 
Lin jerked his head, trying to get Dad's hand off him. It didn't work, though.
Their father just smiled, still holding Lin's head up and staring at him.
 
"Yes," Lin whispered. "I hear you. Sir. No more field trips."
 
"Field trips," Dad snorted. He shook his head and Lian scrunched a little
farther into the corner of the room. "You expect me to believe that? You were
only, what? Taking him to the zoo? Showing him the Museum of Art downtown?" He
moved even closer to Lin, shaking Lin's head and his pleasant, soft voice
disappeared. Dad's voice became mean and nasty again, and his face fell into a
snarl. Lian thought he looked like a hissing snake. "You know the rules, my
boy. Nothing, ever. I leave them alone, and you do as I say." He shook Lin
again by the chin, his hand squeezing so hard Lian saw red marks appear on his
brother's face when Dad's hand shifted slightly.
 
"I did," Lin whispered. He'd dropped his eyes down, like he always told Lian to
do. 'Don't look, Lian,' he'd say. 'Don't make him see you.' "We just went to
see a movie. Nothing happened-- "
 
"Don't lie to me!" Dad shouted suddenly. Lian jumped, and when he looked, Dad's
head was still right up in Lin's face. He'd shouted right in Lin's face, and
Lian thought he saw something wet on his brother's cheeks. Spit, he realized,
fisting his hands into his pant legs.
 
"Wanting to make an example, are we?" Lin asked in a low voice. It wasn't a
whisper anymore, and when Lian glanced up again, he saw Lin looking at him from
out of the corners of his eyes. "Or did you just forget he's still here?"
 
Dad suddenly whipped his head over to Lian, and Lian flinched before he could
stop it. He dropped his eyes just like Lin said to and held his breath.
 
"Julian," Dad said shortly. Lian hesitantly looked up, darting his head back
down once he'd seen his father's angry eyes glaring straight at him. "Julian,
look at me." Lian raised his head, biting his lip as he met Dad's eyes. "Where
did you go today? Did you have fun with your. . . brothers?" Dad was still
squeezing Lin's face, but all his attention seemed to be on Lian. Like he'd
forgotten that Lin was even there.
 
"I-- I don't. . . " Lian stuttered. "I don't know what-- what you mean, Father.
Sir." He couldn't keep the eye contact, his head dropping down again. "I just.
. . we went, and Lin and I stopped at the theatre, sir. And-- "
 
"Julian!" his father shouted, and Lian's head jerked up. "Where did you go
today, and don't lie to me." He turned his head and snarled into Lin's face, "I
won't stand for my sons lying to me."
 
Lin made a snorting sound, and Lian saw Dad's eyes narrow even more.
 
"We went. . . to the movies, I swear," Lian whispered. Dad was still glaring at
Lin, so Lian kept talking. "It was a kids' movie, abou-- about a boy and a big
robot. And-- and I got popcorn. We just. . . " His father's gaze landed on him
again, and Lian pleaded, whispering, "We went to the movie, Father."
 
And then it was like his father was a whole other person. He smiled and stepped
back from Lin, releasing Lin's face as he started coming closer to Lian.
 
"Oh, Lian," he said, that nice smile still on his face. Dad reached down a hand
-- the same one that'd just been squeezing Lin's face -- and rested it on
Lian's shoulder. He gently squeezed, and Lian flinched, terrified that Dad was
going to yell in his face and spit on him and bruise him like he'd done to Lin.
"I believe you, son. Don't worry, everything's fine. Why don't you run along
now and see what your new nanny is doing?"
 
Lian kept his head down. "New-- new nanny?" he asked quietly. "Where's-- what
happened to Susan?"
 
Dad's hand squeezed him again, as he replied, "She wasn't right for us, my boy.
It became apparent to me that she just wasn't a good fit, so I found you a new
one -- someone who I think is going to prove a very wise choice. You go along
now," he said, releasing Lian and standing up straight. As Lian quickly moved
towards the door, he risked a look up, seeing Dad's eyes on him and Lin's
bruised face looking sad. Lin moved one of his hands gently, motioning towards
the door.
 
And Lian was so scared that he just left -- as soon as he had closed the door
behind himself, he started running down the hallway. Left Lin alone, to take
the blame for Lian getting to see Lex.
 
 
***
 
 
Lin came into his room later that night. He knocked first, then slowly pushed
the door open and stuck his head around the frame.
 
"Hey," Lin said uncertainly, but Lian sat up on his bed and waved his brother
over.
 
When Lin sat down next to him, Lian scooted closer and wrapped himself around
him. And Lin just went along with it. He moved his arms up to cradle Lian
closer, resting his head on top of Lian's and gently rocking him back and
forth.
 
"I'm sorry," Lian said into Lin's shirt.
 
"Don't be," Lin told him. "I wanted to take you."
 
"But-- but if I hadn't asked, you wouldn't have, and then Lex-- "
 
Lin's arms tightened and he said, "Shhhh," real low and quiet. "Don't talk
about it," he whispered.
 
"Lin?" Lian asked, pulling his head away from Lin's chest and trying to get a
look at his face. "Why not? What's the matter?"
 
But Lin just turned his head away, and in the darkness of Lian's dimly lit
bedroom, very little of his face was visible.
 
"Lin," he repeated, but his brother just 'shh-ed' him again and kept on rocking
him. "Thank you," Lian finally whispered some time later.
 
"You deserve only the best," Lin whispered back.
 
 
***
 
 
Lex had called on a Friday. It was smart, the best time, really. Dad left
around eight every morning, and the house staff was always smaller on Fridays.
Lian was happy because at first he thought Lex was calling to tell him he was
coming home. It was the first week of May, and he knew Lex got done earlier
each year than he did. Maybe Lex was gonna stay here for the summer?
 
But that wasn't it. Lex did want to see Lian, though. That's really what the
phone call was about. He wanted to meet Lian somewhere in the city, take him
out and hang together all day -- away from Dad, and 'Dad's little spy.'
 
It took Lian nearly the whole conversation to figure out that Lex meant Lin
when he said that.
 
But. . .  but he just wanted to see Lex so badly that he didn't. . . ask about
why Lex was saying that, calling Lin untrue names and kind of being a jerk.
Everyone was always fighting now. Lian knew Lex and Dad were somehow arguing,
even with Lex now in Boston all the time. And Dad and Lin were always glaring
at each other, and Dad kept grabbing at Lin all the time and then Lin would try
to push him off because he hated it when Dad touched him and. . . And now Lex
and Lin were fighting, or something, and Lian just didn't want to fight
anymore. So he ignored how mean Lex was being, instead focusing only on the
fact that he wanted to see him.
 
"The trick, Lian," Lex had said, "is sneaking out when everyone already thinks
you're gone. Mention that you're. . . I don't know, going to the movies with
one of your friends, or something. That way, none of the people in the house
have reason to get anxious when they don't find you. Hell, ask Dad's
permission, if you want. He never checks up on that kind of stuff, anyway."
 
Lian had said "yes," and that he would. "Sure, Lex." And then they'd agreed on
the movie theatre on 4th and Grant at 11:40 a.m. Lex had told Lian he loved
him, said, "I can't wait to see you again, Kiddo!" and soon after they'd hung
up.
 
It was only later that he got to thinking. Rather than just saying he was going
with Graham or Sammy to the movies, Lian wondered if maybe. . . ?
 
Since it was a Friday, Lin was home. He stayed home all day on Fridays, and a
couple nights ago at dinner, Dad had even told Lin to look out for Lian because
he didn't have school this Friday. Lian's teachers had asked when his father
would be coming in to see them, when to expect Mr. Luthor, but Lian had just
told them that he didn't know. Evidently, all the parents were supposed to go
talk to the teachers today, and Lian felt sad. He knew Dad wouldn't go. He was
too busy to just stop and go over to Lian's school.
 
But he and Lin had eaten breakfast late together. Then Lin asked Lian if it was
okay if he went and worked on some of his assignments, that they'd meet up
later and have the whole afternoon to hang out. Lin didn't go to school,
really, but he still had homework. An older man had been here earlier for a
little while, and he'd seen Lian in the hallway and smiled kindly at him.
 
"You must be Lian," he'd said, and Lian had smiled. Only Lex and Lin really
called him Lian, and this man must have been one of Lin's tutors. Sometimes Dad
did say Lian instead of Julian, but that was only after he'd. . . yelled, so he
didn't think that really counted. Most of the time, Dad just looked at him,
told Lin to look after 'his brother,' and went back to reading his paper or
eating or talking on the phone.
 
"Can you tell me where Colin is, by chance?" the man had asked. He'd dropped
down on his knees, so Lian could look at him face-to-face since he was still so
short. "I have some additional books I wanted to give him, and I didn't want to
wait for Tuesday."
 
Lian had nodded and smiled again. "He's upstairs in the library," he'd told the
man. "And he's working really hard on that essay. I went in to give him some of
Cook's scones -- for a snack, like she said -- and he was writing a lot."
 
The man had smiled and looked really happy when Lian said that. He'd reached
out and lightly patted Lian's shoulder, getting back to his feet and switching
his briefcase to the other hand. Lian thought it looked heavy and figured the
books he'd mentioned must be in there.
 
"Thank you, Lian," he'd said. Then he'd smiled again and started walking up the
stairs to the library.
 
And Lian thought that later, after the nice tutor had left and Lin was done
with his studies, he'd ask Lin to take him to the movies next Saturday.
 
To the theatre on 4th and Grant at 11:40 a.m.
 
 
***
 
 
He didn't know when Lin had figured it out, only that he had. Last night, he'd
come into Lian's room to give him some money. "In case you get separated from
him," he'd said, and Lian had looked at him in shock.
 
"But. . . Lin, I don't-- "
 
"It's okay," Lin had said. He'd sat down on the bed next to Lian and reached
out to ruffle his hair, smiling when Lian batted his hand away. "I just want
you to be able to get back here okay." Then Lin had shrugged and said, "Just in
case."
 
And when Lian had been thinking it out, planning how he'd get all three of them
in the same movie theatre at the same time, he'd deliberately ignored the
little voice in his head that wondered if maybe Lex wouldn't be all that happy
to see Lin. Maybe he'd just leave and walk away when he saw Lian and Lin get
out of the taxi together.
 
So, instead, Lian just pretended it would all work out, and come Saturday had
nearly managed to convince himself. He and Lin left the house around 11, plenty
of time to get to the theatre and find Lex before the show started at noon. The
taxi was driven by an Indian man with a thick accent, and Lian started talking
to him just to hear him speak. The car eventually slowed down in front of the
old Prairie Theatre, and Lian started looking around for Lex.
 
"D'you boys be careful now," the taxi driver said, looking worriedly at them
through the rear view mirror. Lin just handed him a wad of money, not even
looking to see how much he'd given. As the nice driver said something in
surprise, Lin herded Lian out of the cab, getting him out and closing the door
before the Indian man could say anything else.
 
"You see him anywhere?" Lian asked quietly. He stayed close by Lin's side, as
there were a lot of people around. Lots of kids, he saw, his age and younger,
standing in line with their parents and grandparents. Lian felt a little sad
and envious as he looked at one family. The Mom had bright red hair and the
father was wearing glasses and there were two older people with white hair
talking to the kids. They all had smiles on, and Lian wished he and Lin could
have that. And Lex, too.
 
"Lian," he heard, and looked up. Lin was bending over slightly, looking at him
with a serious expression and making sure he had Lian's attention before going
on. "Lex is over there to the left, by the cafe." He leaned over even more,
wrapping his arms around Lian and hugging him close. "I'll see you at home,
okay? Be safe."
 
And then, before Lian could even ask him why he was leaving, Lin started
walking away. Lian turned his head to watch him, his mouth still hanging open
in confusion as he saw Lin gradually just slip away into the crowd.
 
"Lian!"
 
He turned around again, seeing Lex coming towards him in a hurry. Lex was
grinning and he was wearing jeans and a ball cap, which made Lian smile. He
walked forward, meeting Lex halfway, and his brother swept him up in a tight
hug.
 
When he set him down again, Lian pointed at Lex's hat and grinned. "What's that
doing there?" he asked. "You never wear hats."
 
Lex leaned down with a smile to whisper in his ear, "I'm in disguise. Don't
want any of these soccer moms to recognize me." Pulling back, he winked at Lian
and ruffled his hair. Lian just smiled.
 
"So whaddya say we go in?" Lex asked. He drew Lian closer to his body with a
hand on his shoulder, guiding him towards the ticket booth.
 
"Yeah," Lian said. "There are a lot of people here. . . "
 
"Best get our seats, then," Lex said cheerfully. They stopped in front of the
small glass enclosure and Lex reached back to pull out his wallet. "One adult,
and one child for 'The Iron Giant,'" he told the man inside. There was the
sound of something whirring and then two tickets came shooting out, the theatre
man grabbing them and ripping them off. He slid them under the glass to Lex,
and in return Lex gave him some money. Lex nodded to the man, before slipping
his wallet back into his pocket and guiding Lian to the entrance. "You want
some popcorn, Lian?" he asked, as they slowed down in front of the concessions.
"I could go for some. . . "
 
"Sure," Lian said. "And-- and a soda, maybe?"
 
Lex looked at him and smiled again, a bit sadly this time, and Lian wondered
what he'd said to make Lex look like that.
 
"Anything for my kid brother," he said as he went back to scanning the list.
"Only the best. . . "
 
And Lian looked out the front windows and wished that Lin could have been
there, too.
 
 
***
 
 
" --and may I ask why you are canceling today's session?" Daniel's voice asked.
There was an audible sigh over the telephone line, and then the man went on.
"Lex, you know this is important -- for all of you, but especially Colin. And.
. . in light of that article that was printed yesterday, getting him to talk,
to truly confront what's happened to him. . . it's even more crucial."
 
"Look," Lex jumped in. "I get that. I really do. And we're not just giving up
or slacking off. Lin's sick, okay? He was in the bathroom puking his guts out
all night, and now that he's finally asleep, I'm not gonna wake him up and drag
him downtown so that he can talk. What he needs now is rest, is some calm and
quiet. Daniel, I'm sorry, but we're really not coming to the appointment."
 
There was a brief silence, then Daniel sighed again and said, "Yeah. Yeah,
we'll reschedule it for, what? Monday? That'd be two days."
 
"I'll give you a call when Lin's feeling better. But, yes, probably by Monday,
I would think."
 
"Take care, then," Daniel said seriously. "And, Lex?"
 
"Yeah?" he asked warily.
 
"Spend a little more time than usual with Colin these next few days. After that
article. . . well, he'll need some reassurance from you and Julian that he's
still loved. Don't let him push you away, either. Really hang around, yeah?"
 
Lex swallowed. "Yeah, I'll be sure to do that. Talk to you in a few days."
 
"Till then," Daniel replied. And he hung up.
 
Lex snapped his phone closed and dropped his head into his hands. It felt like
playing hookey, to call Daniel and slough off going to their session today, but
what else was he supposed to do? Lex and Lian couldn't very well show up
without Lin, and Lin. . . didn't look to be returning any time soon.
 
He wasn't in the house. Lex doubted he was even still in Gotham. Lin was gone,
had been gone for -- he looked at his watch -- 28 hours, four minutes and
counting. And Lex hadn't even repeated his mistake from the last time Lin had
disappeared. Then, he'd been so caught up in figuring out where Colin could
have gone that he forgot the most important person in Lin's life: Julian. Colin
trusted Lian more than anyone else on this planet, and little Lian had
definitely seemed to know where Lin had run off to last time. So Lex had asked
him right off the bat yesterday where he thought his older brother had gone.
And Lian had suggested the library, the grounds, the pool. He'd said to look
for the sunniest room in the manor, that Lin loved the sun.
 
No Lin anywhere. And when Lex had pressed, when he'd caught Lian's eyes and
asked him point-blank, "Where did he go last time, Lian?" there'd been no
definite response. Julian was keeping it a secret, wouldn't be budged. And Lex
was growing tired of guessing games.
 
"Just think, Lex," Julian had said. It had sounded like pleading, like he was
begging Lex to figure it out himself. But he couldn't. Didn't Lian get that? If
Lex could have gotten it by now, then he would have! If he knew where Lin was
right this minute, he'd go and get him, follow him and beg him to come back.
Lex would tell Lin the truth. Anything he wanted to know, Lex would tell him -
- the feelings he had for him, the reasons why he'd left, every single bad or
mean thing he'd ever done. If only Lin would come back. . .
 
"Think of where he'd feel safe," Lian had told him. "If he's not here, then
where would he go?"
 
Not here. And Lin wouldn't go back to. . . Dad, would he? No, he thought
decisively. He'd never do that. So the house and the Centre were out. Lin was
fast, he could run. . . anywhere in the world maybe, but to where had he been
that he would want to return? Metropolis. If Colin wasn't in Gotham, then he
would be in Metropolis. And what special places were there in the city? Where
would be a safe place for him?
 
Jameson's house was Lex's first guess, but he quickly dismissed that as a
possibility. He was operating on the assumption that where Lin was right now
was the same place he'd run off to back then, and so the Jamesons' home was
also out. But where else was there? Lin could have a million little places he
liked, and Lex would never know what they were. He'd been gone for years and
years. What if Lin ran to a favorite coffee house, or the museum or an art
gallery? Lex didn't know, couldn't know about places like those. . .
 
Lex was sitting in the library, facing the fireplace. Bruce had been using his
home office and the library was closer than their bedroom, so Lex had come here
to make the call to Daniel. Julian and Liza were outside, traipsing around in
the snow again for some sort of educational purpose, no doubt.
 
But leaning against the mantle on the floor, was the portrait of Lex and their
mother, and when he raised his head and saw it, an idea began to form in his
mind. It slithered up to him, unfolding gradually. What if-- what if Lin had
gone to see Mom?
 
It made sense. Lillian had always been a safe harbor for them, growing up. She
had loved them, and protected them to some degree from Lionel. She had chased
away nightmares and lavished affection on them.
 
He's gone there, Lex thought. He's gone. . . home.
 
Lex stood up and slipped his phone back into his pocket. He went to leave the
room, but turned back to look at the drawing again. I'll get him, he thought,
looking at his mother. I'll bring him back.
 
 
***
 
 
"So you're just going to jet on back into the city and pick him up?" Bruce
asked, the derision in his voice almost palpable. "And what if he's not there?
What if, by the time you arrive, Colin has already moved on and truly
disappeared? Or if he were never there in the first place? Then you'll be in
that city, alone." Bruce shook his head, and the frown already marring his face
grew more pronounced. "No, Lex. This is a bad plan. There are too many holes,
too much you're leaving to chance and guess-work. I don't like it."
 
Lex blew out a breath in frustration. "So you're telling me to drive there? Or
fly commercially, with the media clawing at the gates even as we speak?" As
Bruce opened his mouth to protest, Lex continued. "Because I'm going. If I have
to drive half-way across the country, then so be it, but I'd. . . Bruce,
please." He brought his hand up to his chest and said, "I know I'm right. I can
feel it. He's there, just like he was last time, and I have to save him. I have
to bring him back."
 
"'Save him?'" Bruce repeated back to him, his eyebrows raised in question.
"This is about all of it, isn't it? Your guilt is eating you up, and so you
jump onto the first thought you have without really questioni-- "
 
"No, this is not about guilt!" Lex interrupted, yelling. Bruce was sitting
behind his desk, his hands resting under his chin as he leaned back in his
chair. But when Lex shouted, those hands dropped down and Bruce sat up straight
in his seat.
 
"Everything's always about guilt," Bruce replied angrily. "Everything anybody
does is because of guilt. You're being reckless, Lex." He waved his hand and
said, "Just dashing back into your father's city on the off-chance Colin's
there? By yourself. How is that smart?" Bruce sneered. "How is that genius?"
 
And Lex just stared at Bruce, seeing him in a new light after all these years.
How cynical was it for Bruce to think that, to really believe that people only
did things because they felt guilty for some reason or another? How sad was it
that Lex knew Bruce truly believed that, too?
 
"I'm going," he said firmly. "If you won't permit me to use the jet, then may I
borrow a car?" Bruce's scowl intensified, but Lex just plowed on. "If not, then
I'll call a cab and I'll go to the airport, and I'll book a flight my-goddamn-
self! I'll fucking rent a car if I have to, but I. Am. Going."
 
It was like an old Wild West stand-off, Bruce sitting there glaring at him, and
Lex returning it with one of his own. And it was always he who broke first. In
the past, Lex always gave in before Bruce, always. But not this time. He'd be
damned if he'd just ignore Lin again, just leave him and abandon him and. . .
 
. . .oh, my God, he thought.
 
"Oh, my God."
 
"What?" Bruce asked, the puzzlement clear in his voice. "Lex? What's wrong?" he
asked worriedly.
 
Lex raised his eyes back to Bruce's. "It is because I feel guilty. Because I
left him alone and. . . "
 
Bruce sighed and closed his eyes. Opening them a moment later, he eased himself
out of his chair and slowly walked over to stand in front of Lex. Bruce raised
his right hand and laid it against Lex's neck. He took another deep breath,
then said, "No, I'm sorry. I didn't-- " He shook his head and looked away,
seemingly lost in a struggle for the right words. "I didn't mean that." Bruce
looked back up into Lex's eyes. "Not about you."
 
Lex quirked his lips humorlessly. "Yes, you did. It's okay, though," he added
quickly, forestalling Bruce's interruption. "You're right. But," he said,
taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "That still doesn't change the
fact that I'm going after him. Lian will stay here of course, and you'll. . .
you'll look out for him while I'm gone?"
 
Bruce licked his lips -- his only nervous gesture, Lex thought, inwardly
smiling -- and nodded.
 
"Of course," he assured him quietly. "You know me, Lex," Bruce emphasized.
"What I said. . . I. . . " he trailed off, and the uncertainty was written on
his face as clear as day.
 
Lex leaned in and kissed him. It was slow and felt more like 'hello' than
'goodbye' -- or 'see ya in a bit,' to be more accurate. Lex would never say
goodbye to Bruce. It'd be like cutting himself in half, to leave Bruce forever.
Never.
 
They would always from now on be friends and partners.
 
But a small voice in his head quietly, sneakily, added. . .
 
'But not lovers. Not for always, that.'
 
 
***
 
 
Their mother died on a Saturday. Her funeral was on a Tuesday.
 
Lex was ordered to be ready to leave the house by eight that morning, and
Pamela helped him. Dad hadn't been home much since. . . and, truth was, Lex was
glad. He hadn't felt like getting out of bed the last couple days, and without
his father around nobody was there to make him. He went up to see Julian a
couple times, but other than that he never left his room really. Pamela brought
him trays of food, but every time he'd sit down to eat it he'd start to think
of how his mom wouldn't ever eat anything again. He couldn't bear to eat
anything after he thought that.
 
Dad had taken Colin away, so Lex didn't even have him to talk to. He wanted to
see Colin. He wondered if the boy had even been told what had. . . happened.
Was he crying? Did he want Mom so badly it hurt, too? Lex felt like he was
running with asthma every time he took a breath. It'd been years since he'd had
to use his inhaler, but when he thought of. . . it felt like his lungs were
closing up and his throat and he couldn't breathe because Mom was never coming
back.
 
He had to wear a suit and tie for the funeral. When he'd been trying to knot
the tie, his fingers had kept slipping and fumbling on it. Pamela hadn't waited
for him to ask for help. She'd just come over and done it for him without
saying a word. Dad would have sneered and made a big deal about it, but Pamela
didn't.
 
Dad was standing waiting in the entryway just as Lex descended the stairs with
Pamela. The two of them had gone up to say hello to little Julian before coming
down, and Lex guessed that it'd probably taken longer than Pamela had planned.
Lex wanted to hold the baby, hug him and tell him he loved him.
 
"Let's go, son," his dad said, and Lex nodded and moved away from Pamela. She
was going to the service with the staff, as Dad only wanted family in the car.
 
When they walked out of the house, it was raining. Lex almost smiled in
appreciation. Even Zeus, the Rain-God, mourned his mother.
 
The driver opened the car door for him, and Lex climbed in first, his father
following after him. Colin was sitting inside and Lex slid in next to him. Dad
turned his head to look out the window, and Lex grabbed up Colin's small hand
in his own. He squeezed it gently and heard Colin sigh, as the boy shifted a
little closer to Lex's side.
 
Their parents had both been raised Catholic -- Lex had even been baptized,
confirmed and had taken his first communion at the church -- and so their
mother's funeral services were being held at the Church of Michael the
Archangel, on 15th and Logan.
 
When they'd reached the church, the driver drove the car around and stopped in
the nearby parking lot. Then he got out and came around to open their door
again. Dad got out first, but when Lex went to follow him, he felt a tug on his
hand. He turned to look at Colin and saw tears running down the boy's face.
 
"Lex?" their father called impatiently from the sidewalk.
 
"Just a-- just a minute, Dad," he said. Leaning his head out the door, he
looked up at his father and told him, "We need just a minute. . . Colin's. . .
his tie's come undone and I need to fix it-- "
 
"Just come in when you're done," his dad interrupted. He waved his hand and
told him, "Don't take too long," then started walking briskly towards the
church.
 
Lex signaled the driver to close the door, and made sure the man was staying
outside before he turned back to face Colin. There were still tear tracks on
his face, but he'd stopped crying. He was looking up at Lex with huge watery
eyes, and clutching at his arm. Lex reached over and pushed some of the boy's
hair off his face. He smoothed the wrinkles from Colin's jacket and finally
just pulled him into a tight hug.
 
"It'll be okay," Lex whispered. "We've still got each other."
 
Colin was shaking, and at his words he buried his face in Lex's neck.
 
"Oh, Colin, I'm sorry, but-- but we have to go inside now." Lex tried to gently
extricate himself, but Colin wouldn't let go. "Dad might get mad if we're-- "
 
And suddenly Colin was climbing over him and pushing at the door, frantically
attempting to get out.
 
"Hey," Lex said, laying a hand on the boy's shoulder and trying to get his
attention.
 
"Time to go," Colin whispered, his eyes still on the door.
 
"Yeah." He looked out at the parking lot already starting to fill up with other
cars. Men and women in stylish black clothing floated and hesitated everywhere.
Lex finally reached over to push the door open again. The driver instantly
grabbed the handle from the outside and pulled on it the rest of the way.
 
"Colin," Lex said. He waited until the boy turned to look at him, then said, "I
love you."
 
His little brother still looked ready to burst into tears at any moment, but
Lex felt proud when Colin tried to smile for him.
 
"I love you, too, Lex," he whispered.
 
Lex nodded and put his hand back on Colin's shoulder. When they'd both gotten
out of the car, he molded his arm around Colin, holding him close the whole way
into the church. He sat right next to him, and made sure he never left the boy
alone, not once.
 
And Colin didn't cry again. He looked like he might, and he didn't say anything
when people came up to give their condolences, but not one tear escaped his
eyes the whole time.
 
Only Lex had seen that, and he thought that maybe. . . maybe Colin had cried
for both of them.
 
 
***
 
He told Lian goodbye, dropped onto his knees and hugged him tight and close out
in the snow. Liza courteously wandered a ways away to give them some privacy,
while Lex promised he'd bring Lin back.
 
"But why can't I come?" Lian had asked. "I can help! He'll listen to me. He
will!"
 
"I know," Lex had told him. "But. . . it's not safe. Lin's there and I have to
go get him. There's. . . I don't want you to get hurt, Lian." He'd squeezed his
brother tighter and said into his hair, "You'll be safe here, and when we get
back. . . Lin will come knowing you're here, safe and sound and not. . .
anywhere near Lionel."
 
Lian had sighed and gripped Lex harder, then pulled away. He stood back from
Lex and met his eyes, every inch of him radiating determination and confidence.
 
"Then I'll see you soon, Lex. I'll wait for you -- for you and Lin." He'd
lifted his head a little bit then, glancing towards the manor and back again.
"Bruce and I will wait here."
 
"I love you, Kiddo," Lex had whispered. He'd stood, dusted off his pants, now
soaked through at the knees, and touched Lian's cheek before trekking back
across the snow-covered grounds.
 
"Lex!" Lian had shouted, and he'd turned around to see Julian running towards
him frantically.
 
"Yeah?" he'd asked.
 
Lian had come to a stop in front of him, his mittened hands gripping and
clenching on each other, and his small, kind face twisted into sadness.
 
"I love you, too," Lian'd said. "Please be careful. Don't-- don't forget we
love you. Don't let-- just be careful," he'd finished weakly.
 
"I won't forget," Lex had responded. "We'll see you soon," he'd told him, and
had felt it appropriate that they were using Bruce's words, the man's way of
saying goodbye.
 
Then Lex had looked up to see Liza striding towards them. He'd met her eyes
briefly and then had turned around and walked back to the house. Bruce had been
waiting next to Lex's bag, in the entryway, and Lex had reached down to pick it
up before meeting the man's eyes. No words had been exchanged, no warnings or
goodbye's. Bruce had stared into Lex's eyes and sighed, before leaning forward
and pressing his lips against Lex's briefly. Then Bruce had turned away,
placing a hand on Alfred's shoulder as the older man came down the hall with
the keys to the Rolls in his hand. Lex had hoisted his bag a little higher, had
gotten into the Rolls, and had Alfred drive him to the Wayne Enterprises
private air strip.
 
And then he was flying.
 
And three hours and seven minutes later, Lex was that much closer to Lin. He
arrived in Metropolis and wasn't surprised this time when there was a car
waiting for him. The same driver from last time too, Andy, and Lex smiled at
the man before giving him the directions.
 
"Where to, sir?"
 
Lex looked out the window at the passing scenery. From the hangars and dark,
gritty industrial section of the city, to the more lush and aristocratic parts.
. . Metropolis.
 
"Farrin-Layne Cemetery. South entrance."
 
 
***
 
 
He told Andy to wait by the car, then started wending his way towards. . .
 
So many dead, he thought. This was the most expensive cemetery in the city, the
most expensive in the state, even, and every monument and headstone seemed
extravagant. Angels with trumpets and marble mausoleums for as far as the eye
could see, and yet in the distance it was still easy to make out the tall
obelisk that marked their mother's grave.
 
There was a hill between him and her grave. As Lex reached the top of it, he
looked down and instantly made out Colin's form -- a dark spot curled around
the tall structure like a wayward comma. Lex slowly approached him, eyes taking
in all points around them. Just in case.
 
When he'd reached him, when he'd come within a foot of Lin's body, Lex
hesitated. Lin was lying in the snow, his clothes and hair drenched. . . and
yet he wasn't pale, or shivering. His chest was rising steadily, and there was
color in his face, his cheeks flushed pink and healthy.
 
"Lin," Lex said quietly.
 
"When was the last time you were here?" Lin asked. His eyes were closed, and
his body was still curled around the obelisk, but Lex saw his arms loosen
around the base.
 
Lex turned his gaze upwards, staring at the top of the stone structure. The sun
shone just behind it, and Lex felt like simultaneously smiling and crying.
 
"Five, maybe six years," he answered.
 
"She would be happy," Lin said, and when Lex looked down, he saw Colin's eyes
staring back at him. "She'd be glad."
 
Lex frowned. "What do you mean?"
 
"That you don't come here," Lin said. He scooted back from the monument and sat
up, leaning his back against it and looking at Lex with sad, dull eyes. "She'd
be happy that you have your own life, that you've. . . moved on." He tilted his
head back and looked up at the top upside-down, much like Lex had just a moment
ago.
 
"And what would she say about you coming here?" Lex asked.
 
Lin's mouth quirked, and he dropped his head back down to meet Lex's eyes.
"She'd tell me to quit being stubborn. To wake up and. . . let her go." He
licked his lips nervously.
 
"Will you come back with me?"
 
Colin's eyes broke away, and he paused before responding. "If you help me. . .
do something first, while we're here."
 
Lex tilted his head and scanned the area again, before coming back to look at
Lin.
 
"What do you need me to do?" he asked.
 
And Lin looked up and smiled. Lex didn't like the look of that smile one bit.
 
"We're going on a rescue mission," Lin told him.
 
 
***
 
 
"Well, I can't do it!" Lin shouted angrily. He was gripping his hair again,
pacing back and forth agitatedly. "You don't think I've tried?"
 
"No," Lex replied. "I know you've tried. That's not the point. Lin," he
chuckled humorlessly, "how is this going to work? I can't just-- I can't just
walk in there and ask to see him! 'Excuse me. Yes, I'd like access to my
bastard half-brother's cell, please. No, he'll be leaving with me. No, my
father knows nothing about this. Oh, you don't say? Well, then I'll just sneak
in if that's all right?'" Lex scowled and dropped the light mocking tone.
"Jesus, Lin! This is. . . reckless and stupid and. . . " He stopped, and shook
his head. "And now I sound like Bruce."
 
"I can't do it, or I would!" Lin yelled at him. "The whole place is wired and
lined with that rock, and I. . . I can't go near it, or they'll-- they'll take
me back and lock me up." Lin came to a sudden stop in his pacing then rushed
over to Lex, dropping down to kneel before him. Lex was sitting on one of the
nearby cemetery benches, and Lin met his eyes beseechingly. "It has to be you,
Lex." He reached out and took up Lex's hands, holding them tight in his own.
"You've got to help me!" he pleaded. "I can't-- I can't just leave him there
anymore!"
 
There was a quavering and shaking quality to Lin's voice, and Lex saw the sheen
of tears in his eyes. He sighed, then sighed again. He mentally said his
apologies to Bruce and Lian, and directed his gaze back to Lin.
 
"Of course," he said, and wasn't even shocked by the strength of his voice.
"I'll get him out of there, and then we'll all go back to Gotham. Together."
 
And the hell that was in store for him would be worth it, for who could turn
away when Lin looked at you like that? Love and gratitude, and Lex smiled and
shook his head.
 
"Bruce is gonna say 'I told you so' when we get back, I just know it."
 
 
***
 
 
Walking through the place, it was hard not to snarl and bare his teeth in
disgust. A lie, this whole place was a lie, something made to look official,
even a bit silly and over-the-top. Decadent.
 
But it wasn't.
 
The Centre was three stories, maybe even sub-levels, as well. The first was
reception and conference rooms, primarily. And when Lex asked, he was shown the
second floor. . . no problem, as Chance would say.
 
As Chance had said, 20 minutes ago when Lex called him up and asked him for his
help.
 
"You finally calling that in, man?" Chance's amused voice had asked.
 
"Yes," Lex'd replied. "But it's going to be. . . hmmm, not dangerous exactly,
but definitely not completely. . . benign, either." He'd paused, trying to
gauge Chance's reaction by the sound of his breathing over the phone. Steady
and deep, no tell there. "You still up for it?"
 
There had been a chuckle, and then Chance had said, "I'm always up for the
secret-agent stuff, Lex. Where do you need me?"
 
And that was it. Lex had given Chance directions to the cafe down the block
from the Centre, and the three of them -- Lex, Lin, and Chance -- had hashed
out a. . . plan of sorts.
 
" --and then when there's a knock on the door I'm standing in front of. . . "
Chance had pointed to Lex.
 
"You open it," Lex had said. "And help me carry him out to the car, where-- "
 
" --I'm worriedly waiting," Lin'd interrupted quietly. "Sitting with the engine
running and. . . " He'd taken a deep breath, staring at the table and the
rudimentary diagram comprised of salt and pepper shakers, various sugar and
creamer packets, three empty coffee cups and a plate. Lin had stared at the
table for a moment, then had looked up and met Lex's eyes with determination
and. . . relief. "Ready to go," he'd finished, almost smiling.
 
Lex had nodded and looked towards Chance. . . who'd been grinning like a
buffoon. Lex'd raised an eyebrow and cleared his throat, getting the man's
attention.
 
"So, we ready?" he'd asked, looking pointedly at Chance.
 
"Yeah. Yeah, let's do this thing," Chance had said seriously. The grin then
disappeared, the knee he'd been bouncing up and down under the table had
stilled, and Chance had met Lex's gaze and nodded. "Let's go be heroes, man."
 
Lex had smiled and patted the man on the back. He'd looked back at Lin, still
studying that half-assed map like it was the answer to everything, and had then
slowly let out the breath he'd been holding--
 
" --and this is the main lab," his tour guide was saying, "where a great deal
of the research and information is produced. Here, we endeavor to generate the
results your father has come to expect, Mr Luthor." The smiling woman flung her
arms wide, encompassing the whole room in her satisfaction and pride. "Here, we
attempt to change the world!"
 
Lex resisted the urge to say a bitter 'I bet you do,' instead nodding his head
distractedly and moving his eyes towards the back of the room. . . where Lin
had told him there was a hallway.
 
"And what's back there?" he asked, making sure he sounded bored and put-upon.
He was employing his own version of 'Brucie'. . . Lexie? and so far it'd been a
roaring success. The woman -- doctor? nurse? Lex had stared hard at her the
first few minutes after he'd met her, trying to figure out if she'd been one of
the monsters to cut Lin open -- in her desire to impress him and gain another
patron, had been continually granting him access to the more secure portions of
the Centre. She must be some kind of higher-up to even have access to these
parts of the building, and Lex breathed in deeply when she turned away and
frowned in confusion towards the back of the room.
 
"Oh, that's where. . . " There was a slight hesitation, very brief and it might
have gone unnoticed, had Lex not been waiting for it. " . . .the patients are
housed." She turned back to him with a smile, fake and plastic just like the
rest of her, and Lex smiled in return.
 
And here we go.
 
"If you'll just follow me, sir," she said, beginning to walk towards the door.
"I can show you some of the individuals who have helped us remain one of the
top research facilities in the world." She turned away and pushed the door
open, holding it for Lex as he passed in front of her. "Right this way, Mr
Luthor."
 
It was the second. . . room, just like Lin had said. The first, Colin had told
him, was his. Sure enough, when Lex glanced through the glass window, he saw
drawings and pictures taped up on the walls. Lin's, by the look of it. They'd
let him put drawings up at least. That was. . . something. Maybe.
 
Maybe it was just another way to torture him.
 
"And here's Lucas," the tour guide for 'Lionel Luthor's Playing Doctor
Facility' told him. She stopped in front of the door, reaching to her belt to
draw out her key chain and. . . now unlocking the cell where Lucas would--
 
He was surprised, to say the least. For some reason, Lex had been expecting
someone sick and frail. Lin said all the experiments on Lucas had involved
blood, giving, taking, and so Lex had naturally assumed he'd be carrying out
some skinny, pale boy with big eyes. But. . .
 
Lucas looked healthy. His skin was a tan brown Lex would kill for, and he was
seated at a desk, reading a book. And when Lex and the woman entered the. . .
cell, Lucas didn't even look up, just kept reading.
 
"Lucas," the monster in woman's clothing crooned out softly, "I have someone
I'd like to introduce you to. This is Mr. Lex Luthor," she said, trying to
share a conspiratorial look with Lex. But Lex didn't meet her eyes, wasn't even
minutely interested in what she was doing. For before the woman had even
finished saying 'Lex,' Lucas' eyes had darted up. He met Lex's stare
unflinchingly, and Lex tried to pass the message on just by looking at him.
 
When Lucas dropped his head back down to his book, Lex knew he'd failed. Well,
no problem, mentally smiling as he thought of Chance's "distraction" about to
take place downstairs. Lex checked his watch, rather obviously, as it played
well into his bored playboy persona, and saw he had about three minutes until
Chance started.
 
"And what's wrong with him?" Lex asked the woman beside him. He made sure his
tone was distracted and added in just a touch of prideful disgust for spice.
"He isn't sick, is he?" And Lex took a hesitant step back towards the door, as
though he were afraid of catching some deadly virus.
 
"Oh, no, no, no!" the woman exclaimed, moving forward and gesturing with her
hands worriedly. "No, Lucas here is very healthy. A fine example of what we can
achieve. . . " She paused significantly, looking at Lex with a somewhat
embarrassed expression. Lex could see through it easily. "Given enough
resources and funds, that is," she amended, tilting her head and shrugging
girlishly.
 
Lex felt like throwing up on her, but valiantly held back. He looked at Lucas
again, who was ignoring them in favor of his book, and surreptitiously glanced
at his watch. Still more time to kill.
 
"Well," Lex said with a dumb laugh, "that's where I come in, isn't it?"
 
His tour guide just smiled more broadly at him. Lex swore to God that if she
shuffled her feet, he was gonna implement the plan a little ahead of schedule
and punch her right in the face.
 
"Well, yes," she responded, "if you're so inclined, your assistance would be
extremely beneficial. Together, with your father's regular contributions, this
facility could expand, maybe even widen the work pool and allow other
scientists from around the world to contribute to this amazing research."
 
Lex met her eyes at the end of her little speech, but he'd been focusing on
Lucas up until that point. And he wasn't disappointed by the boy's reaction.
When Ms. Evil-Facade had mentioned their father, Lucas' hand had twitched, and
his frown had deepened. Good. It'd be much easier to get him out of here if he
wanted to escape.
 
A last check of his watch -- bingo! -- and Lex turned to his escort with a wide
grin. The woman initially smiled back, but when Lex just kept on grinning like
a loon, her expression went stiff. She unconsciously took a step back from him
and at that point Lex gave in and laughed.
 
"Mr. Luthor?" she asked, hesitantly.
 
Lex chuckled. "You people are incredibly stupid. And arrogant," he added,
before moving forward and pinning the woman to the wall.
 
"Oh, God," she cried out, "what are you doing? I'll-- I'll give you anything.
Just leave and-- "
 
"I don't want anything you have," Lex snarled at her. "You disgust me."
 
"Then what do you wan-- ?"
 
Lex knocked her head into the wall, and felt no remorse at all for it.
 
"For you to shut the hell up," he muttered, before stepping back and watching
her unconscious body crumple to the floor. Lex slowly turned around.
 
"Why did you do that?" came a quiet voice, and Lex smiled as his eyes met
Lucas' again.
 
"Lin sends his regards," Lex said, watching as the boy's eyes widened and his
mouth dropped open. Lex glanced at the doorway, waiting for the siren to start.
. .
 
. . .and there it was. A loud blaring tone sounded, and Lex closed the distance
between himself. . . and his brother.
 
"What are you doing?" Lucas asked incredulously.
 
"Rescuing you, little brother," he replied, grabbing Lucas' arm and pulling him
out of the cell.
 
 
***
 
 
Interrupt
 
 
He wasn't a stupid man. He recognized his own intelligence and thanked his luck
every day for good genes. So, it wasn't stupidity that made him careless, just.
. .
 
He didn't like being injured. Few people probably did, in fact, but Bruce hated
it. Which is why he normally took as many precautions as he could, so that
nothing would put him down for the count. But that madman had gotten the jump
on him, setting up explosives and then luring Batman there. He'd walked right
into the trap, and it'd only been luck that'd seen him make it back to the cave
at all.
 
Lex had left yesterday and there was still no word from him. And Bruce wouldn't
call. Lex didn't need him checking up, and if Lex were doing what Bruce
suspected he was. . . then the last thing Lex needed was an ill-timed phone
call giving away his cover.
 
He was in the meditation room when he realized something was wrong. His side
had been bothering him that day, a lot more than the previous day, and when
Bruce vaguely thought about it while meditating, he saw what must be happening.
Infection. But it wasn't stupidity that had led him here. It was pride and
hatred and weakness. Bruce hated feeling weak. More than anything else in the
world, he detested being at the mercy of forces not his own. And perhaps he'd
subconsciously decided that if he pretended hard enough, his problem would go
away. If he acted like normal, uninjured and whole, then he would be like
normal.
 
But it never worked that way. Bruce was sure he was running a fever by the time
he got upstairs. And he was dizzy too, gripping the railing and dragging
himself up like. . . he chuckled, like his life depended on it.
 
Alfred looked like he wanted to slap him, when Bruce explained. Julian must've
been up with Liza, he thought, looking around. Bruce literally collapsed into a
chair at the kitchen table, while poor Alfred started gathering up the things
needed to put his employer back together again.
 
"Like Humpty Dumpty," Bruce murmured to himself.
 
"What was that, sir?"
 
But he shook his head sluggishly, and got his shirt up so he could see the
damage. Alfred came over and jerked his hands away, frowning at him in that way
he had. Then he slowly pulled the bandages off, and Bruce hissed.
 
"Jesus," he gritted out.
 
"Dear Lord, Master Wayne. What-- how on earth did you allow it to get this
bad?" Alfred was almost shouting at him, and Bruce could count on one hand the
number of times he'd ever heard the man raise his voice, let alone the single
time he'd shouted at Bruce.
 
"Wasn't part of the plan, 'lfred," he mumbled.
 
"Yes, well, now we just have to start all over, don't we?" He turned away,
picking something up before he turned back. In a low voice he said, "And
without that boy here to help you."
 
"Sorry," Bruce whispered miserably. Alfred poured alcohol on him then, and
Bruce bit his lip in two trying not to scream.
 
He thought he might have passed out for a time, or at least spaced out, because
next thing he knew, Alfred was holding one of his hands and had tears sliding
down his face.
 
" --stupid, stupid boy!" he hissed. "How can you be a genius and a bloody
imbecile at the same damn time?"
 
" 's a gift, I s'pose," Bruce slurred out. "God, that hurts-- "
 
"Good," Alfred retorted sharply. "Means you're still alive, you fool!"
 
Bruce groaned, laying his head back.
 
"Although how I'm going to get you up those stairs myself, I have no idea,"
Alfred said, and Bruce felt like smiling.
 
 
***
 
 
Lex was always so passionate, so into everything at once, that maybe that's
what made Bruce want to kiss him. If even a small part of that intensity were
directed at him. . .
 
And Lex fell into it like he picked up everything, effortlessly and
wholeheartedly. In their room, when Bruce would come back late at night, he'd
find Lex still awake, waiting for him and smirking. He'd once even cornered him
by the closet, stuck his arm out next to Bruce's head and blocked his way.
 
Bruce had just looked at him, wanting Lex to say it out loud.
 
"I never figured you one for playing hard to get," Lex had mused aloud. His
eyes were bright and fully aware that day, and Bruce remembered wishing they
were always like that. Too often Lex was. . . cloudy. Doped up, his mind
supplied, and Bruce thought it might have been that which caused him to love
Lex. That need to protect him and hold him together, like Lex would fall into a
million pieces if Bruce weren't there.
 
Bruce shrugged and turned his head away, finishing the buttons on his shirt
before reaching for the tie. Lex stopped him with a hand, though, his fingers
curling around Bruce's own and squeezing slightly.
 
"Do you want me, or not?" he asked, and Bruce nearly smiled at the
determination in Lex's voice.
 
"Yes," Bruce replied, saying it just to see that pissed off expression take
over Lex's face.
 
"Bruce," he said in warning, and the hand tightened. "Quit playing games and
just answer me."
 
He turned and pressed right up close to Lex's body. "Yes," he repeated, and
knew that Lex understood this time. Those clear eyes dilated, and the hand
still squeezing Bruce's fell away.
 
"Well," Lex breathed out. He visibly swallowed and Bruce finally gave in to his
urge to smile.
 
"Well," he agreed. "Hey, Lex?" he asked in a casual voice.
 
"Uh, yeah?" and Lex craned his head back to meet Bruce's eyes.
 
"Let's run it again."
 
Lex frowned in confusion before suddenly getting it. "The experiment?" he
asked, excitement and fondness in his tone.
 
"Mmmm," Bruce agreed, nodding gently. He reached out and laid his hand on Lex's
smooth cheek. "The experiment."
 
Then he moved forward and caught Lex's lips, molding his own to their pattern
and striving to get just a little closer. . . just a bit further. . .
 
They were late to Latin, and Lex wore a smile the rest of the day.
 
 
***
 
 
"My brother tried to kill himself, I think," Lex whispered next to him.
 
Bruce turned his head and could just barely make out the soft glow of light off
Lex's face. The room was very dark, and Lex always had to double-check that the
curtains were fully closed before going to sleep.
 
"Colin?" Bruce asked quietly, and Lex just nodded. He slowly slid closer to
Bruce's side, and Bruce lifted up his arm for Lex to crawl under, pulling him
in tight and secure.
 
"Jesus, he's just 12!" Lex stuttered out. "Why the hell. . . would he? Bruce,
why would Lin do something like that?" He shook his head jerkily a few times,
and Bruce brought up his other arm to wrap Lex fully in his embrace. He held
onto him while Lex pretended not to cry.
 
He held onto him and never said a word about Lionel, about being stuck in a
loop of pain and torture and guilt. Bruce didn't say anything but, "I love
you," and somehow felt dirty and weak when Lex said it back.
 
 
***
 
 
The first few weeks were the most difficult. He was totally out of his element,
in a completely different world from that upper-class, east coast aristocratic
one he'd been miming for the last 11 years. The fourth day on shore he'd given
in and stolen an orange. He'd thought it would taste like ashes in his mouth,
but it'd been the most delicious thing in the world. It was like holding
perfection in his hands, and Bruce found himself wishing for. . .
 
He kept moving at first, wanting to get it all in, every experience and
situation he could. Soon though, he stalled and people around him began to
recognize him. Not as Bruce Wayne, but as a comrade, a brother in arms. A thief
and crook.
 
Bruce met men, and some women, and he joined them on a few jobs. He stole and
planned, and was amazed every time they got away with it. Also stunned by how
often his father's company was the target. If it weren't jewels or plain money,
then it was Wayne Enterprises, like it was the only international company worth
stealing from. Maybe it was. Though, once, he and 'Adam' pulled a heist on some
Queen Industries paraphernalia. Bruce never knew what was in the briefcase they
lifted off some guy on the street, only that he and Adam would be splitting the
pot fifty-fifty, and it was a good way to keep his hands quick.
 
It didn't feel good or satisfying to do it, to steal and claim someone else's
property as his own, even if only temporarily. But it wasn't altogether
unpleasant either. It was what it was, as 'Mari' had used to say. Bruce tried
to keep in mind his reasons for doing it, but somehow he'd always forget. Once,
he remembered looking up in the market and seeing the name Luthor bold on a
magazine cover and stuttering to a sudden stop. It'd been in the second year
he'd been away, and that was when Bruce remembered he'd forgotten to wish for.
. . Lex. . . in a long time. Those early days, he'd always longed for him,
wanting to call Lex and talk to him, tell him sorry and let him yell till he
was hoarse. But somewhere along the line he'd forgotten, and Bruce hated
himself more then than he ever had while actively committing crime.
 
From that moment on, Bruce went on more and more reckless jobs. He volunteered
for the riskiest ones and even put together one of his own. A set of jewels in
a nearby city, and four of his 'fellows' whom he'd each known more than half a
year, and they were all set. They were in and out in less than 20 minutes and
away in a stolen car, courtesy of Bruce himself.
 
A week later, he went with Adam on another lift and grab of Wayne Enterprises
stuff and got nabbed.
 
He wished for Lex then, and hated himself for it. He wished for Alfred and
Rachel, for that kind cop back in Gotham, for Professor Hilferty at Princeton.
. the one person besides Lex to whom Bruce had talked the entire time he'd been
at that school.
 
He wished for Lex first and last, and in between he wished for his parents.
 
Then like a whirlwind, his life changed again. Bruce just kept running along
with it, kept holding on by his fingernails every time fate stepped in and
pushed him over there, over here, shoved him up a mountain then sent him
careening down it. When it was finally time to go back, he was glad.
 
He waited for Lex, wondering if he'd even want to talk to him. The third day,
when he called, Bruce answered with a smile. He'd wished for Lex and there he
was, in Metropolis with his brothers, and Bruce flew out the next day.
 
 
***
 
 
"You're a damn sight heavier than you used to be," Alfred muttered at his side.
 
Bruce groaned as they came to another turn and set of stairs.
 
"How many stairs are there in this place?" he complained, and Alfred just
hoisted Bruce's right arm a little higher onto his shoulder.
 
"You're-- " he huffed out, breathlessly. "You're telling me, Master Wayne."
 
"Sorry," Bruce mumbled again.
 
"Oh, stop that!" Alfred gritted out. "Look! Four more and we're on your floor,
sir."
 
Bruce grunted and just kept thinking to himself that he was not weak. He would
not just lie down on the stairs, no matter how appealing that sounded at that
moment.
 
"Thank heavens," Alfred breathed as they came to the floor. Down the hall and
straight ahead was Bruce's room, and collapsing was within his grasp.
 
"You gonna tell Lex about this?" Bruce asked quietly, as they trudged forward
together.
 
"Sir, I don't think I'll have to!" And Alfred sounded like he was laughing.
 
Bruce just scowled and tried to move faster, but Alfred deliberately held onto
him tighter, negating any attempts he might have made at. . . escape.
 
"Master Wayne, he'll take one look at you and know what-- "
 
"Why are you calling me that?" At Alfred's tiredly questioning look, he
clarified, "'Master Wayne.' You've always said Bruce before."
 
Alfred didn't answer, and soon the two of them had reached the master bedroom.
Alfred pushed the door open with his shoulder, and he and Bruce stumbled over
to the bed, both falling on it in a heap. Luckily, Bruce avoided landing on his
side and Alfred avoided landing on him.
 
It was silent, save for their out-of-breath panting. Then Alfred climbed to his
feet and bent over to help Bruce scoot further onto the bed.
 
"You stay here, and I'll bring you something to do," Alfred told him sternly.
"And something to eat, as well." He stood up and went about straightening his
clothes, then turned towards the door.
 
"Alfred?" Bruce called out.
 
Still facing the door, Alfred said softly, "You're not a boy any longer, sir,
and it didn't feel proper to call you that anymore. And what happened today?"
He turned just his head, meeting Bruce's eyes over his shoulder. "That fair
reminded me of your father, sir. He always was a stubborn man."
 
Alfred smiled a little then nodded and left the room, and Bruce turned his head
so he could look out the window.
 
Lex, he thought, and perhaps later he'd ask Alfred to bring Julian by. The boy
was surprisingly interested in martial arts and Bruce had thought about
teaching him some things. He could direct him from here for a little while and
later, when he was back to normal, Bruce could show him.
 
 
***
 
 
The hall was a mess, people crashing and bumping into each other in their
desperation to evacuate the building. Lex gripped Lucas' wrist just a little
tighter, willing them not to get separated in the crowd.
 
He took a hard right and slammed open the maintenance stairwell doors. Leave it
up to his father to have primary and secondary staircases, for God's sake, but
in this case it actually worked to their benefit. No one would think to use
these, and thus it presented the perfect escape route. . . when one was
stealing vital Luthorcorp property.
 
Lucas was silent, not even any heavy breathing to show he was there. Only his
footsteps on the stairs behind Lex and the bony wrist under his fingers served
as proof. When they reached the first floor landing, Lex came to a quick stop,
pulling Lucas close and praying he'd listen and follow directions.
 
He stared into Lex's eyes, still bewildered and confused, and Lex took a deep
breath.
 
"We're going to run for it, okay?" he asked rhetorically. "And I need you to
keep up. . . not that that's a problem obviously." Lex gripped Lucas' shoulders
and said in a lower, calmer voice, "Lin is out in the car, and when we get in,
he'll drive us to the airport and we'll. . . leave."
 
But the kid didn't nod or say 'Yeah,' like Lin would have, or Julian. He didn't
contradict Lex or devise a different plan like Bruce. All Lucas did was stare
at him in surprise and Lex knew if they got through this unscathed. . . Lucas
was going to need some help.
 
One last breath for courage, and Lex said to himself, "Let's do it." Then he
pushed the doors open again and tore off down the hallway.
 
--a right again, left. . . now straight, straight, straight until--
 
There it was! He skidded to a stop and banged on the door in front of them,
silently begging Chance to be there and the way clear.
 
There was a whoosh of air as it opened up to the outside, and Chance was waving
his arm at them to come through. Lex jerked on Lucas' arm again, wondering how
many bruises he'd left by now, and then together the three of them jogged down
the alley behind the Centre.
 
"Two police cars just passed by before you knocked," Chance said in a whisper.
They were nearing the mouth of the alley and Lex dragged Lucas up against the
wall of the building. Peeking around slowly, he saw three police cruisers and
cursed their luck. Well, it could only stretch so far, and he was just glad
they'd gotten to this point with no trouble.
 
"How're we gonna get past 'em?" came Chance's whisper, and when Lex glanced at
him, he saw the other man staring at Lucas.
 
"I don't know," Lex muttered turning his head back. "What if-- Chance, you go
out and get the car. Drive it here and Lucas and I can-- "
 
"Lex!" Chance hissed. "They're not gonna let me just leave and then come back!
This is an evacuation, and I was lucky those other cops thought I was leaving.
They'll never let me back through the barricade, especially not driving a car!"
 
"Okay," he said. "Yeah, you're right. We'll just have to. . . we'll just all
have to go." Lex nodded his head decisively, knowing it was the only way to get
out quickly while they still had time and before--
 
Before Lionel showed up, having been notified that a bomb threat had just been
called in on his building.
 
Lex met Chance's gaze once again and saw the realization that their time was
running out slowly dawn in the other man's eyes. He nodded back at Lex and
visibly swallowed.
 
Lex started to move forward, then a thought came to him and he put a hand out
to stop Chance. "Wait," he said. "Chance, give me your coat." When he just
looked at Lex in confusion, Lex again gestured with his hand impatiently and
clarified, "For Lucas. You've got shirts on underneath. Lucas is only wearing
that tee, and it'll look strange for us to be leaving so late after the alarm
and not have an excuse." Chance whipped his coat off and held it out to Lucas,
and at least the boy wasn't completely shocked, for he reached out and shrugged
it on slowly. "Okay," Lex said. "Lucas, keep up and look like you belong here.
The story is, you guys are buddies of mine and I was showing off some expensive
weapons when the siren went off. Third floor," he emphasized, beginning to walk
forward. "Katanas and Wakizashi swords are on the third floor. Private
elevator." Then Lex jerked his head around and reverted to 'Lexie' as they
neared the haphazard police blockade.
 
"What the hell?!" he cried out, striding imperiously over to the nearest
officer. "What's going on here? Why all the cops and what is with that godawful
siren blaring in there?" Lex pointed behind him at the Centre, surreptitiously
scanning the parking lot for Lin and the rental car.
 
A uniform walked closer to him nervously and put his hands out in front of him
in a calming manner. Lex just lifted his chin and narrowed his eyes at the
unlucky bastard. He'd drawn the short straw, and now Lex had to go off on him
just so they could get away and not make anyone too suspicious.
 
He wasn't going to say it was totally unpleasant, but Lex could easily think of
a million other things he'd rather do than yell and shout at some poor guy just
trying to do his job. The Officer was just in the wrong place at the wrong
time, and sometimes, Lex thought, being a nice guy just wasn't as important as
family.
 
 
***
 
 
"God, thank you again," he told Chance, giving the man's hand one last shake
before releasing it. Chance ducked his head down and smiled a little.
 
"It was. . . kinda fun actually," he replied, and Lex chuckled. "All that
planning and sneaking around. I always wanted to be a spy when I was a kid." He
cast a look back towards Lin and. . . Lucas, and Lex watched the amusement die
on his face. Chance slowly met Lex's eyes again and Lex felt like hugging him.
"I'm glad I could help, Lex," he said quietly. "Honored too, that you trust me
so much."
 
Lex forced a smile onto his face. "You know I seriously owe you now, don't you?
We all do," he added in a more serious tone. "And you. . . you be careful,
okay? Keep in touch and let me know if any-- just keep in touch," he repeated,
not wanting to completely freak Chance out, but at the same time wanting to
make sure he knew to be on the lookout.
 
Chance stood straight, pushing the driver-side door closed and tapping on the
roof of the car. "See ya, Lex," he said, and stuck his hands in his pants
pockets. Lucas still has his coat, Lex thought suddenly, and Chance never even
said anything about it.
 
"Look, I'll buy you another coat. You like leather? I know a really good
designer in Milan who specializes in-- "
 
Chance interrupted him with an upraised hand, shaking his head back and forth.
"You know I can't accept that. I didn't do this for a reward, and besides," he
mused, shrugging, "if I suddenly show up one day wearing a leather coat more
expensive than my parents' house. . . it'll lead to questions. You know, from.
. . everyone." There was guilt in Chance's eyes, and Lex knew exactly how it
felt to have to apologize for someone else's actions -- someone you were
related to, someone you shouldn't have to be sorry for.
 
"Nah," Lex said, brushing it off and pulling on a teasing face. "Think nothing
of it. I know where you stand, Chance, and. . . I consider you a friend." He
felt happy when Chance blushed and smiled, and Lex waved to him one last time,
waiting for him to step away from the car.
 
"See ya soon!" he called out, and Chance waved back.
 
"See ya, Lex!" His eyes shifted, and Chance then tentatively waved at the
backseat of the car. Lex watched in the rear-view mirror as Lin raised his hand
in farewell.
 
And then, with one final smile, they were off. Lex drove away from the mall
they'd dropped Chance off at and sped all the way back to the airport. They
were on the other side of the city from Luthorcorp and the Centre, and Lex knew
he wouldn't relax, wouldn't be able to, until the three of them were in the
air.
 
Till they were back in Gotham, and then everything would be okay.
 
 
***
 
 
He kept expecting Lucas to. . . do something. Say something or make eye contact
or. . .
 
But the kid just sat there. He didn't look up from his hands in his lap, and
Lex wondered if this silence would last the entire flight back to Gotham. He
was about to rest his head back against his seat, in preparation for a nap,
when Lin spoke.
 
"Any change?" he asked, and Lex realized he was talking to Lucas.
 
Lucas shook his head and Lin sighed in apparent relief.
 
"So, was it. . . was it any different?" Lin asked. He unbuckled his seat belt
and leaned forward, swiveling his chair and trying to catch Lucas' eyes. "After
I left, did they do more? Or less?"
 
"Not much," Lucas said so quietly, Lex almost couldn't make it out. "Lot of
samples is all. No procedures." He did raise his head at that point, looking
back at Lin with a blank face devoid of any emotion. . . at least as far as Lex
could tell. "Since you left, there haven't been any more transfusions."
 
"Good," Lin replied strongly. "You seen much of him lately?"
 
"No, he doesn't come around as often. It's been," and here Lucas looked far
away and frowned to himself before turning back to Lin, "more than a month
since the last time. Probably not interesting to him anymore. Never was,
compared to you, you know."
 
Lin's lips quirked before he blanked his face. He glanced over at Lex as he
leaned back in his seat again.
 
"This is Lex," he said to Lucas, gesturing to Lex with his hand. "He's the one
who saved me. Well, he and Julian and Bruce all did, but Lex put together the
plan today, too. He got you out." And Lex didn't miss the slight emphasis Lin
put on the word 'he.'
 
Lucas had dropped his head down again as Lin was talking, and Lex now watched
him lean over his armrest to whisper something in Lin's ear. Lin's face went
startled then sad, and Lex was left wondering what had been said.
 
As Lucas moved back, Lin began shaking his head. "No," he said softly. "No,
it's not like that at all." Lin reached out for one of Lucas' hands, picking it
up and holding it gently in his own. "Lucky, hey, Lucky," he whispered, again
cajoling Lucas into meeting his eyes. "I told you, didn't I? And. . . and I'm
sorry." Lex could hear the tears in Lin's voice, but he forced himself to
remain silent. "I tried, but he-- he added more to the walls and I couldn't
even get through the doors.
 
"But," Lin said, blinking rapidly and putting a watery smile on his face,
"we're out now, huh? God, you're gonna love it there! Lian-- oh, wait till you
meet him! He's the greatest. You know, he loves 'Huck Finn' too. Did I tell you
that? I remember, he told me once he was reading it at school and that their
class had just received the books the day before. Lucky," and Lex saw Lin
squeeze Lucas' hand, "Lian had already read the whole book the night before.
Sneaky kid stayed up the whole night and he finished it, just like that! And I
know Alfred's gonna flip when he sees you. Another boy to feed and dote on. He
loves doing that, I can tell. Remember I told you about Bruce?"
 
Lucas nodded. Lex supposed it was improvement, considering he hadn't done
anything up until then to indicate he was listening at all.
 
"He's kinda. . . gruff," Lin said, "but he's really very kind and thoughtful.
And I think he understands a little bit, too." And Lex felt the urge to laugh
at that description of Bruce. Yes, Bruce Wayne was definitely 'gruff' and when
he looked over at Lin, he saw Lin looking back.
 
"Lucas, I would like to introduce you to Alexander," Lin said confidently. Lex
marveled at the strength and surety in his voice, and wondered if taking care
of Lucas made. . . Lin feel better. "Lex, this is Lucas Dunleavy. Our brother."
 
Lex waited, somehow knowing the right moment would come, and wasn't
disappointed when, not ten seconds later, Lucas lifted his head and looked at
him.
 
He cleared his mind of everything ugly and cruel and petty, and just let all
the need he felt for family and safety and understanding show on his face. He
met those hazel-green eyes, unlike any he'd ever seen -- from Lucas' mother,
Lex thought in awe -- and said, warmly, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Lucas. I
hope you'll be happy in Gotham."
 
And while Lucas just ducked his head again, nodding slightly, Lex caught Lin's
eye. He was looking at Lex with pride and. . . love, and Lex didn't mind if the
rest of their flight back home was made in complete silence.
 
It was a peaceful silence now, and Lex leaned his head back and closed his
eyes. And after a minute or so, he gave in to his urge to smile.
 
 
***
 
 
And here he'd always thought of Lin as being extremely quiet.
 
Lin didn't ask the boy any more questions, and Lucas didn't say anything more.
. . probably because Lin didn't ask him anything else.
 
And now more than any other time, Lex felt. . . like it was truly only a matter
of time before--
 
They'd done it. All of them, all of Lionel's sons, were out, were free.
 
 
***
 
 
He set a hand on Lin's shoulder, and leaned close. "Why don't you take him up
to your room?" Lex suggested quietly. "And I'll go and. . . break the news."
 
Their cheeks were very nearly touching, and Lin had only to shift his eyes a
little to see Lex from out the corner of his.
 
"Come talk to me later, okay?" he asked, and Lex nodded gently.
 
"Of course." He turned to Lucas and smiled at the kid. "Lin'll find something
for you to change into, I'm sure. Maybe show you around, if you like?" He
phrased it in such a way, asking, not telling, in the hopes that Lucas would
respond. In vain, of course, but Lex could still try.
 
One last pat to Lin's shoulder, and he watched them climb the stairs together.
He tilted his head and studied them a little closer after they'd reached the
first riser platform. The two were in exact step, like identical soldiers
marching side-by-side. And as they turned at the same time, now at the second
floor and heading towards Lin's room, Lex thought he saw them. . . holding
hands.
 
Well, with all they've been through, it was a wonder either of them was still
alive. He couldn't rightly begrudge them a little hand-holding. Lex shook off
the feeling he had and turned in the direction of the kitchen. He hadn't
brought any bags to speak of when he'd left, and neither had Lin. But they'd
returned with something extra -- someone -- and Lex didn't doubt that a certain
person already knew that. But Lian wouldn't, and perhaps neither would Alfred.
 
Pushing open the door, Lex saw Julian at the counter, eating some spaghetti and
nodding at whatever Alfred was saying to him. He paused there, in the doorway,
letting the stark pleasure at the scene warm him. Lian was here, eating and
smiling and warm. Whatever he'd gone through back at the house with Lionel and
Lin. . . and with Lex himself once upon a time, the kid was here now, and that
would always be worth it. Lex felt grateful at that moment for everything he'd
managed to hold onto. And regain. And like when he and Lin and Lian had been in
that hotel, that first night he'd taken them away, Lex thought, it'll all be
okay now. Whatever happens from here on out, at least we're all here together.
 
"Lex?" came a shocked voice, and he shook his head and looked up again.
 
"Hey, Kiddo," he said tiredly, and smiled as Lian jumped off the chair, running
over to him. He flung himself into Lex's arms and squeezed, and Lex chuckled.
He rested a hand on Julian's hair. "You save any of that for me?" he joked,
nodding towards the counter and Lian's plate.
 
Lian drew back, looking up into Lex's face. He was frowning, staring at him
worriedly, and Lex smiled at him again.
 
"What's wrong?" Lian asked, his eyes wide and full of concern. He looked
around, shifting a little to scan behind Lex, before meeting his eyes again.
"Where's Lin?"
 
"Upstairs," Lex replied. He sighed, and jerked his chin towards the stools.
"Let's sit, all right? And I'll tell you. . . what happened."
 
Lian's frown deepened for a second, and the expression was familiar somehow.
Lex couldn't place it though, and Lian withdrew a bit, one hand coming down to
tug at Lex's. See, a voice whispered. You're holding hands. . . just like they
were, but Lex forced it, too, aside impatiently. What did that matter in the
grand scheme of things really?
 
Why did that image of them keep coming back?
 
Lex sat down on the stool next to Lian's, resting his elbows on the kitchen
island and meeting Alfred's kind eyes across the way.
 
"Master Lex," the man said, nodding at him.
 
Lex smiled in reply, before ducking his head and trying to think of what the
hell he was going to say.
 
"Would you care for some spaghetti with marinara, sir?" Alfred asked him
quietly. Lex lifted his head and saw the man had already started fixing him a
plate full of the pasta. With his back to them, Alfred went on. "Master Julian
expressed a desire for the dish and I confess, I've always had a certain
fondness for it." He turned, gently placing the plate down in front of Lex.
And, with a smile, held out a fork, saying, "Eat, and tell us what's going on
now."
 
Lex reached out and took the fork. Eyes on his food, he twirled up some of the
noodles and said, "You have another guest in the house, I'm afraid." He lifted
the fork, staring as the sauce slowly dripped back onto his plate. "We brought
Lucas back with us," Lex told them.
 
And then he took a bite.
 
 
***
 
 
Bruce, when he asked, had apparently suffered a relapse of sorts, and was back
in bed. Lex had doubts about what had actually occurred, but, with Lian under
his arm, the two of them made their way up to the third floor. . . and Bruce.
 
Pushing the door open slowly, he peeked around first. Spotting Bruce awake and
aware, staring right back at him in fact, Lex flung the door all the way open
and strode over to the bed.
 
"So what's this I hear about a relapse?" he asked by way of hello.
 
Bruce grimaced and let out a sigh. "Yeah, well, things like this aren't
uncommon."
 
In the meantime, Lex had reached out and placed a hand on Bruce's forehead. Hot
and clammy, and Bruce was too pale. Catching the man's eyes, he said quietly,
"You let it get infected, didn't you."
 
Another sigh. Then, a moment later, a nod, and Lex plopped down on the edge of
the bed. He turned a little, and with a wave of his arm gestured for Lian to
come closer. Turning back to Bruce as Julian slid into the nearby chair, Lex
said, "I brought Lin home." To which, Bruce nodded. Lex took a deep breath,
meeting those feverish eyes, and added, "And we got Lucas out. He's down in
Lin's room."
 
Bruce closed his eyes, settling back into the pillows stacked behind him. "And
how did you get him out, Lex?"
 
It was the tone that irritated him. Bruce sounded so superior at that moment,
like Lex was a foolish child, and he the disappointed parent. Bruce, the man
lying here in his own bed because he'd most likely refused to take proper care
of himself.
 
"The only way we could," Lex replied coldly. Bruce opened his eyes, looking a
little bleary, but Lex just raised his chin and set his jaw. If it were he who
were ill, if Lex were the one in that bed and their positions reversed, he was
damn sure Bruce wouldn't take any mercy on him. . . infection or no. "Chance
Aerson and I got him out. Lin had to stay in the car, but he told us how to do
it." He breathed out through his nose. "Whatever happened, the fact is, Lucas
is downstairs and we need to. . . all of us need to decide what should happen.
With him." Lex shook his head, dropping his eyes down to his hands.
 
"What do you mean?" Bruce asked quietly. "Is he-- is there something wrong
with-- ?"
 
"No!" Lex exclaimed. "No, no, he's fine. It's just. . . " And he jerked his
head up again. "He's said hardly anything and I've. . . yet to see any real
emotion on his face."
 
"So he's definitely traumatized," Bruce said. "And he's withdrawn, but Lex? I
hate to say it, but how is that any different from how Colin is?" He kept his
eyes up, but Lex could tell it was a battle for him. Bruce licked his lips and
said, "How is that any different from the way you are, the way Julian is
sometimes?"
 
"No," Lex replied sternly. He shook his head. "Not like this. Lin is. . . " He
hesitated, trying to pick the best words and failing. "He and Lin are similar,
but Lucas. . . I don't think Lucas ever left that place. Once he was inside."
 
"And Lin got to come home," Lian quietly said. Lex turned to look at him and
saw that same worried look on his face, the one from the kitchen. And then it
clicked. Why his face looked familiar, why it made Lex squirm.
 
Dad. Lian looked like Lionel when he frowned.
 
Lex nodded at Lian. Then looked at Bruce quickly. "You should stay in bed, but
Lian and I can go down and see him. Them," he corrected. "Lin and Lucas. Maybe
tomorrow we'll bring him up here?" Lex smiled a little. "It's not like there's
any rush, I don't think."
 
But Bruce just frowned. "I hope not," he said, but it was quiet and low, and
Lex thought him probably just thinking out loud.
 
 
***
 
 
Lex took Lian's hand this time, not the other way around, and shut the door
behind them. Walking down the hall towards the stairs, he periodically sneaked
glances at his brother's face, trying to decipher what the boy was feeling.
 
"How old is he?" Lian asked, halfway down the stairs.
 
"I don't know for sure," Lex answered. "But at a guess, I'd say a couple years
older than Lin." His eyes on Lian's profile, he said, "Maybe 17 or 18."
 
"And he doesn't talk?" Lian turned his head and met Lex's eyes. "He's quiet?
Like Lin?"
 
Lex just nodded and squeezed the boy's hand.
 
"I wonder if he'll. . . " Julian trailed off, and Lex bumped his arm against
him to get his attention back.
 
"'If he'll,' what?" he asked him. They'd reached Lin's room and were stopped
just outside his closed door.
 
Lian looked into Lex's eyes and smiled a bitter smile, a smile a kid shouldn't
know how to give.
 
"I wonder if he'll like me," Julian said, embarrassed. Lex pulled him close
again, hugging him to his chest and biting the inside of his own cheek.
 
 
***
 
 
Lin was sitting up against the headboard of the bed, a couple pillows easing
his back, and Lucas next to him. There was a tv in Lin's room, in all their
rooms actually. Lucas was angled on the bed in such a way that he could see the
screen, and still keep an eye on the door, all while lying flat on his back.
Lex stopped in the doorway, Lin's head turning to them, and a smile overtaking
his face at the sight of Lian standing there.
 
"Hey," Lin said, his eyes happy as he looked at his little brother. Lian smiled
back, and nodded, but made no move to get any closer to the bed. "Lian," Colin
called. He lifted his arm and gestured, frowning. "Come here." Julian took one
tentative step forward, then another, and Lin forced a smile again. "It's okay.
There's someone I want you to meet," his eyes glancing at Lucas before moving
back to Lian's face.
 
Lex gave the kid's back a little shove and leaned against the doorjamb. He
looked over at Lucas, and was surprised to find him looking back,
expressionless.
 
Lin shifted his legs off the bed, setting his bare feet on the floor as Lian
came closer. Then, lifting his arms, Lin waited for Julian to tuck himself
under them, walk up close and wrap his little arms around him in a hug.
 
Lex heard Lian say something, thought it might have been a question, and then
Lin respond, "Yeah," on a sigh. "I promise I won't."
 
Pushing away from the wall, Lex dragged a chair from the corner of the room and
brought it up to the footboard of the bed. From here, he was close to everyone
in the room, and not snubbing anyone, either, by sitting down on one side of
the bed and not the other.
 
"Lin," Lex said, waiting until he looked over before continuing. "Perhaps you'd
like to make those introductions now."
 
"Yeah," he replied, drawing back from Lian, but still keeping an arm around
him. With a wave of his hand, Lin said, "Lian, this is Lucas. Dunleavy. He's
our brother," and Lex smiled at the joy he saw on Lin's face as he said that
last part. It was the same as what he'd said to Lex, and now he knew how much
rescuing Lucas had meant to Lin.
 
Now they had something else in common.
 
"Lucas," Lin was saying. "This is Julian, Lian, for short."
 
Lian looked over to Lucas, and Lucas returned it. "It's nice to meet you,
Lucas," he said in a quiet voice. "I'm glad you're here now." And then little
Lian smiled that sad, bitter, so-adult smile, and Lex held his breath, looking
between the three of them on the bed.
 
Lucas moved into a sitting position, keeping his eyes on Lian the whole time.
He leaned over Lin a bit and said, straight into Lian's eyes, "It's my
pleasure, Julian, to meet you. Lin always said you were an incredible person,
and now I can see it for myself." Lucas stretched out his hand, holding it out
for Lian to shake, and Lex smiled when Lian did. Julian crowded into Lin in his
haste to give that handshake. Lex didn't know if it were chance, or if Lin had
somehow already told Lucas of Lian's love of formality, but he had no doubt
Lucas was already firmly ensconced in Lian's big heart.
 
And with that gesture, Lex realized he was also in his. Lucas hadn't spoken
down to Lian, had never, in fact, ever even referred to him as a child or boy.
He'd treated him like an adult, and maybe it had just been wishful thinking,
but Lex thought he'd seen a small smile briefly wash over Lucas' mouth.
 
And if anyone could break through to Lucas, perhaps it wouldn't be Lin. . . but
Lian. God knew, he'd done it for everyone else in the house, and effortlessly,
too. Lian was so open and affectionate and caring so naturally, that he made
you want to be that way too. Lex wished he could see the world through Lian's
eyes -- jaded a bit, yes, but still so full of hope and love.
 
Lucas' broken heart didn't stand a chance against Lian.
 
 
***
 
 
He and Julian brought up plates of food for Lin and Lucas, and then Lex went to
see Lian to bed. He tucked him in and hugged him, and on his way out of the
room, Lex gave in and hummed a familiar tune under his breath.
 
He went up again to check on Bruce, but, finding him asleep, decided to busy
himself elsewhere. Lex went into his old bedroom at one point in his wandering.
He walked over to the bedside table and pulled out the bottom drawer. And,
picking up what was inside, he tucked it under his arm and left the room. Lex
walked down the stairs, making a brief stop in the kitchen, before heading down
to the indoor track.
 
He pushed open the doors and strode across the recycled rubber surface, soon
reaching the pseudo locker room. Coming to a stop inside the large shower, Lex
brought the folder out from under his arm and dropped it down on the tiles. He
pulled out the small gas lighter he'd lifted from the kitchen, and bent down.
Clicking it, and then a second time, Lex touched the end to a corner. He
watched it go up in flames, and got to his feet again. Stepping back, it felt
like a weight was lifted from his chest. Burning the file didn't change
anything, didn't negate any of the effect Lionel had had on any of them, but it
did make Lex feel better.
 
For him, the act of destroying that list was that of wiping the slate clean.
From here on out, they were a family, bound and bonded together against
everyone who wished them ill.
 
Lex watched the folder burn until it was just ash, then he turned on the
shower, and watched again as the water swept everything down the drain. The
tiles were washed clean, and when he himself stepped under the water too, Lex
smiled and laughed. He washed himself of Lionel and wanting to please him.
 
Lex watched his guilt sweep down the drain, and grinned on his way back up the
stairs, soaked clothing sticking to his every move and his oh-so-expensive
Italian shoes utterly ruined.
 
He'd never felt happier.
 
 
***
 
 
Climbing into bed, he was careful not to jostle Bruce. He didn't want to mess
up the man's side any more than it already was -- again. But when a hand slid
up his arm, Lex actually smiled. Bruce hardly ever slept soundly, and it was
comforting in a way for him to wake up every time Lex moved around in bed. Like
he was waiting for him, or making sure Lex was really there and not just a
dream. Putting his own hand over Bruce's, Lex smiled a little wider at the
thought that perhaps. . . he was projecting a bit. Normally he was the one
waiting up, but this time it was reversed.
 
He moved his mouth to Bruce's ear and whispered, "Go back to sleep.
Everything's all right." Lex squeezed Bruce's hand and laid his head down next
to him on the pillow.
 
"Mmm," came Bruce's low rumble. His eyes slipped shut again, and he turned his
face towards Lex. "You're quiet. Couldn't even tell you were here till you got
in the bed. . . "
 
"Is that a compliment?" Lex teased in a quiet whisper, closing his eyes, too.
 
"Very good, Grasshopper," Bruce murmured in reply, and Lex huffed a laugh.
 
 
***
 
 
Lex made sure to wake up a little earlier than usual the next morning. He
wanted to be there for breakfast, perhaps give Alfred another little warning
about Lucas and. . . broach the subject of their newest addition to Liza. Lucas
would have to be tested, to see where he was at, learning-wise. Just as he hit
the last landing on the stairs, though, Lex stopped, the thought occurring to
him that perhaps Lucas would need more than just an educational assessment.
 
Who was Lucas? Did he exist in the system, in records, or had he been written
off as 'missing' all those years ago? And if the latter, then what the hell
were they gonna do? Bruce had connections, most definitely the man had some
major contacts, but enough to forge the sort of documentation they'd need? Did
Bruce have the means to give Lucas an identity? Because Lex sure as hell
didn't. Not even close.
 
Stepping down the stairs again, Lex pushed those worries aside in favor of the
more immediate problem. He walked into the kitchen and spotted Julian sitting
at the island. Lian was talking to Liza, who stood with the fridge open and a
shocked look on her face.
 
" --but I think he's gonna be staying. Lin made it sound like he was," he was
saying. "You'll teach him too, right, Liza? Lex said he's only 17 or 18. He
won't have to go to school, will he? I don't think he'd like it there-- "
 
"So I see you've already heard the news then," Lex said. He smiled when Julian
turned to him, but then locked eyes with Liza again, gauging her reaction.
 
"I-- I'm not sure if I'm understanding this correctly," she replied. Shutting
the door to the refrigerator, Liza leaned her back against it and frowned in
confusion. "You. . . have another brother?" she asked hesitantly.
 
Lex nodded, moving to take a seat next to Lian at the counter. "Lucas is our
half-brother, technically," he said. "But, yes, he's our brother."
 
Liza shook her head and pushed away from the fridge. Walking up to the island
and setting her hands on top of it, she took a deep breath and met Lex's eyes.
 
"And where has he been this whole time?" Liza smiled tightly, then added,
"Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against him, but. . . why is he here now?
Why not before? Lex," and she reached out to lay a hand on his, "Lex, where did
he live before?"
 
Lex sighed and shared a brief glance with Lian before turning back to face
Liza. Might as well tell her, he thought. If Bruce brought her here, then he
had to have had faith in her. He wouldn't have risked someone untrustworthy
around them, not Lin and Lian. . . not with how much Bruce knew Lex cared for
them.
 
"Lucas was kept somewhere by my father," he told her. Liza's eyes first went
wide, then confused, and Lex went on. "Not at the house. Someplace else. He's-
- Lucas is Lionel's son and. . . I truly don't know all the circumstances, but
I do know that he wasn't there voluntarily. Lin saw him sometimes, and that's
where we were yesterday: getting Lucas."
 
It was the briefest, most simplified version of the truth imaginable, but it
was still true. For some reason, it felt wrong to lie to Liza -- at least
explicitly. Lies of omission were a different breed, and in some cases the only
way to protect her.
 
She squeezed his hand, looking worried and concerned. "What did you do, Lex?"
she asked.
 
He shook his head, jerking his chin up a little, and slowly withdrew his hand.
 
"What needed to be done," Lex replied coldly.
 
"But-- if he were under-- ?" Liza began. She trailed off, however, when the
door to the right opened.
 
Looking between them with raised eyebrows, Lin said lightly, "Hope we're not
interrupting anything. . . " He met Lex's eyes and Lex smirked at his timing.
 
"No, not at all," he replied. Catching sight of Lucas behind Lin, Lex gestured
to Liza then said, "And, Liza, may I introduce the man of the hour, Lucas
Dunleavy." Lin and Lucas were holding hands again, he saw, as Colin tugged
Lucas forward. "Lucas," Lex said, surprised when those eyes turned to look at
him. He waved a hand at Liza. "This is Liza Olexi. She's a tutor who's been
helping Lin and Lian these past few weeks."
 
Liza's mouth hung open for all of a few seconds, before she smartly snapped it
shut. Then stretching her hand out, she said, "A pleasure, Lucas," tilting her
head when he made no move to shake her hand.
 
Just as she appeared ready to drop it back to her side, though, Lucas pushed
past Lin to take it. He cradled her hand in both of his, and looked into her
face in. . . wonder? Lex craned his neck in an attempt to better make out
Lucas' expression. Wonder, he thought. And delight.
 
Was that a smile he saw?
 
"Ms. Olexi," Lucas murmured softly, "the pleasure's all mine, I'm sure."
 
And it was strange -- as if any part of their lives weren't strange -- that
right after he said that, Lin moved close again and laid his own hand on Lucas'
shoulder. Lucas was still staring, enraptured, at Liza, and when Lex studied
Lin's profile he saw. . . anxiety.
 
"Why don't we all sit and have some breakfast?" Lin suggested in a tense voice.
He looked at Lex then, and that vague feeling of dread crept down Lex's spine
again.
 
Sliding off the stool, Lex moved an arm to Lian's shoulders and said, a little
too loudly, "Good idea, Lin." It worked, though, and Lucas' eyes darted over to
him. He dropped Liza's hand and stepped back into Lin's steadying ones. Lex
breathed out slowly, turning and steering Lian to the table. "I'm surprised
Alfred isn't here yet," Lex ventured, meeting Lin's eyes across the way.
 
Lin's mouth quirked, and as he guided Lucas into a chair -- three away from
Liza, Lex noted -- he tilted his head up towards the ceiling. Lin's eyes became
unfocused for a moment, before snapping back to Lex with a look of smug
satisfaction on his face.
 
"He's upstairs talking to Bruce," Lin said with a smirk.
 
Lex narrowed his eyes at him for a moment, then just shook his head and smiled.
Lin chuckled, taking his seat, and when their eyes met again, Lex saw a
lightness there. Delight, he thought to himself, and realized the expression on
Lin's face now mirrored the one that had been on Lucas' just a minute ago.
 
"I hope it's not oatmeal today," came Lian's voice, and Lex looked at him with
a smile.
 
"No, I think it'll be something a little fancier," Lex replied. "After all,
today's a celebration of sorts, right?"
 
Lian nodded and slid down farther into his seat, his head resting back on Lex's
arm.
 
 
***
 
 
"Do you want to come, Lian?" he asked as they neared the top of the second
floor. "You don't have to, you know."
 
Julian looked between him and Liza for a moment before shaking his head. "No,"
he said quietly. Lex dropped to his knee right there on the stairs, and met the
boy's eyes dead-on. Lian just gave him a quirky smile and shook his head again.
"You go ahead. Liza and I are working on math today."
 
"Okay, then, Kiddo," Lex told him. He stood up and laid a hand on Lian's
shoulder, waiting for him to look up again. "I'll see ya later. Have fun,
yeah?"
 
Lian nodded, reaching out to hug Lex around the middle. Then drawing away, he
grabbed Liza's hand and took off down the second floor hallway towards the
library.
 
Lex turned back to Lin and Lucas, and together the three of them resumed their
trek up to the master bedroom. Lex went to the door first, giving it a
perfunctory knock before pushing it open. Then he went inside, meeting Bruce's
alert eyes before stepping back to make way for Lucas and Colin.
 
Bruce was dressed in a pair of old jeans and a sweater, thick socks on his feet
as he laid on top of the covers. So, Lex thought, somewhat amused, this is what
Alfred was "talking to Bruce" about. Never wanting to seem weak, it was just
like the man to force himself into clothes for the sake of appearances. He'd
bet anything it'd been Alfred's influence only that had kept Bruce from trying
to get into a suit and down to his office.
 
Closing the door behind them, Lex crossed the floor over to the bed. "Lian's
studying in the library," was all he said, making no move to touch Bruce. . .
no matter how much he wanted to.
 
Bruce nodded distractedly, eyes lighting on Lucas. He and Lin were standing
down at the foot of the bed, and Lex gestured for Lin to take over while he
grabbed a chair and sat down.
 
"Bruce," Colin said, lifting his head in acknowledgment. "This is Lucas
Dunleavy. Lucas," and Lin's voice was noticeably softer and lower, "This is
Bruce Wayne."
 
Lucas' head was down, his eyes on the floor, and Lex was so confused. The way
he. . . acted, the different reactions Lucas had to everything and everyone was
very strange and. . .  It almost seemed like a code of conduct, like a set of
rules or law he had to obey. He responded to Lin like an equal, almost, but not
quite like a brother or friend. And Lucas was still wary of him, Lex knew,
almost like he couldn't figure out what to make of Lex -- which category to put
him in. But Lucas acted nice to Lian, had tried to ingratiate himself to Liza,
if overtly flirting with her could be called ingratiating.
 
And now he wouldn't even meet Bruce's eyes. Lex had an idea as to why that
might be, but he was loath to really think about it. Lionel was a sick, sick
bastard, and if he'd. . .
 
Not for the first time, probably not for the last, either, Lex wished something
heavy and immovable would fall on Lionel. He wished they could all just be done
with him, once and for all.
 
"It's good to finally meet you, Lucas," Bruce said from his position on the
bed. "And it's good to know you're out of that place."
 
Lex was watching him closely, and so he caught Lucas' brief flinch at Bruce's
comment. They weren't holding hands anymore, he noticed as he looked closer.
Lin was even standing a bit farther away than usual from Lucas, not touching
him in any way. Another question he'd never be able to bring himself to ask.
 
Bruce stared at Lucas for a little while more, then looked towards Lin. He
jerked his head over to indicate the chairs near him, and Lin nodded back. With
a hand on Lucas' back, he guided them over and took the seat closest to the
bed, closest to Bruce, leaving the other for Lucas. Lex was on the other side
of the bed.
 
"Lucas," Bruce called softly. "I need to ask you some questions, about. . .
certain things, and. . . " He trailed off, and Lex looked at him.
 
"We need to know how you came to be there," Lex said, drawing all their eyes to
him. Lucas had jerked his head up when Lex started speaking, and now Lex was
determined to put that to good use. "Do you remember how you came there?" he
asked gently.
 
Lucas just stared blankly at him for a moment, then sighed and closed his eyes.
Lex could see from the corner of his eye Bruce tilting his head in confusion,
but he kept his focus on Lucas.
 
Lucas dropped his head down again then, and said quietly. "I was living with
this couple." He shrugged. "They were okay. A lot of cats, though, but it
wasn't. . . too bad. Better than the group home."
 
Lex swallowed and realized anew what an asshole his father was. Lucas was
forced to live in an orphanage, in foster homes, when all along his real father
knew and just. . . didn't care. Until he became useful.
 
"I was only about. . . six when he came, and. . . " Lucas paused, taking a deep
breath before continuing. "He was at the table, in the house, when I got back
from school. And. . . God! I can't even remember their names." He shook his
head in apparent frustration. "What were their names?" Lucas asked
rhetorically. "I can't remember, but. . . he was there. He called himself my
'teacher,' said he was going to take me to a different school, a better one.
One for smart children."
 
"God," Lex whispered, closing his eyes.
 
"I met Lin the third day, I think," he went on. Lex opened his eyes and saw
Lucas still staring down at his lap, at his hands, it appeared. But he wasn't
fidgeting at all, just sitting there as still as could be.
 
It was unnerving.
 
"And then, things just happened." Lucas shrugged again. There was a long moment
of silence, then Lucas said, so quietly Lex actually leaned forward in his
chair, "I think-- I think, in a way, I didn't know it was really bad until
later. I thought he was just a teacher, for so long, but. . . "
 
Lex swallowed and brought a hand up to cover his mouth, to hide his reaction,
he thought. He looked over to Bruce and saw him breathing a little faster than
normal, his eyes centered on Lucas. But when Lex turned to Lin, he saw his head
turned away. Lin was looking at the other side of the room, and his body showed
no tension or strain. In fact, the only thing that gave away how uncomfortable
Lin was. . . was the fact that he didn't look uncomfortable at all. Except for
some specific instances -- and even those, Lex could count on one hand -- Lin
always looked just a bit. . . uneasy. He wasn't completely comfortable in his
own skin, and it showed. Not that it was any wonder, really, with all the
garbage Lionel must have drilled into his head over the years, but Lex didn't
think he'd ever seen Colin truly, 100 percent happy.
 
Lin would never be complacent about anything, and just the thought made tears
prickle in the corners of Lex's eyes.
 
So the fact that Lin looked relaxed and easy, actually just served to highlight
how much Lucas' story was affecting him.
 
"I was eight when he told me the truth," Lucas said. "Lin was gone for awhile,
and I'd-- I'd asked where he was." He raised his head and looked at Lex, and
there was real emotion there. Lucas looked so sad and heartbroken, and Lex
wondered if this were his real face. . . or just another mask he wore, trying
to fit in. "Your mother had died, and he'd taken Lin away for the-- for the
funeral."
 
Lex didn't know what expression was on his own face, but it must not have been
very encouraging. Lucas just sagged a bit more in his chair and dropped his
head down again.
 
"Lin said-- " Lex started, pausing when Lin turned to look at him quickly. But
he continued, focusing on Lucas and saying, "Most of the experiments involved.
. . blood? Transfusions?" Lucas' hands were clenched together now, but Lex
couldn't stop, not when they were this close to finding out, not when-- "What
kinds of things did-- "
 
"No."
 
Lex jerked his head over to Lin, surprised by the anger in that one word. Lin
just stared right back at him, eyes hard and head held high.
 
"Lin, we need to know what happened," Lex argued.
 
"Not now," he replied coldly. "And not like this, either. You didn't make me
tell everything. Why should Lucas have to?"
 
"I'm not asking for everything, but we need to know, and-- "
 
"You keep saying that!" Lin shouted, and Lex saw Lucas flinch away from him
minutely. "'We need to know.' 'We,' 'we,' 'we.'" He shook his head angrily.
"You mean you need to know, Lex. And why? So you can see how awful things
were?"
 
"What are you talking about?" Lex countered. "I want to know because I want to
figure out how to get Lucas his life back. How to make him safe from Lionel.
Right now, Lin-- " He gave a sharp laugh and smirked. "Right now, it's illegal
for him to even be here, and we're all guilty of kidnapping. You wanna give Dad
that kind of leverage? Just let him walk in here and take everything away, all
with the law on his side, I might add?"
 
Colin scowled at him, but he didn't say anything more. Lex crossed his legs and
folded his arms across his chest, and just raised a questioning eyebrow at Lin.
 
"I think that's enough for right now, don't you?" Bruce asked calmly. Lex
looked at him and saw Bruce and Lucas staring at each other. And, breath
suddenly sticking in his chest, Lex watched as Lucas nodded at Bruce. "Why
don't we all call it a day?" He leaned back and rested his head on the pillows
behind him. "Lucas, you're welcome to explore the manor to your heart's
content. All I ask is that you take Colin with you, when you do. He's more
familiar with the place, and. . . " Here, Bruce smirked a little, looking
towards a still-scowling Lin. "I'm sure he'll be able to find a way out, should
you become lost."
 
"Right," Lin said, standing and waiting for Lucas to, as well. When he had, Lin
met Lex's eyes once more before striding quickly from the room. Lucas followed
more slowly, carefully closing the door behind himself with a soft click.
 
They were silent for awhile. Then, with breezy whish of air, Bruce said, "I
thought that went well."
 
Lex could hear the smile in his voice, and when he looked over, indeed saw the
small smirk that was Bruce's gleeful grin.
 
Lex shrugged, going for unaffected. "Could've been worse," he agreed.
 
"And they call me the distant, cold one," Bruce mused.
 
"Oh, shut up. You are the distant, cold one," Lex snapped.
 
"That's why it's so gratifying to see you mess up once in awhile," he returned,
causing Lex to bite his lip in annoyance. Bruce turned his head to look at him.
"Lets the rest of us know you're human, and not some magic-bonding-machine."
 
"What?" Lex laughed. "'Magic-bonding-machine?' What the hell is that?"
 
But Bruce didn't smile or laugh. He didn't even chuckle or smirk, and Lex felt
the humor slide off his face.
 
"People, most people, like you," Bruce said. "Well, decent people do. Criminals
and scumbags. . . who cares what they think. You're a good guy, a charming one,
too, and. . . "
 
"And, what?" he encouraged. "You're every bit as charming as I am, Bruce. More
so, considering you can play on your looks, as well." Lex leaned forward in his
chair, staring into Bruce's eyes and trying to figure out what the hell he was
talking about. "What do you mean?"
 
"You're not perfect, either," Bruce said softly. "And sometimes I forget that,
forget that I'm not the only one." His lips twitched.
 
"What, not the only one who's messed up?" Lex asked incredulously. He stood up
and then slid onto the bed next to Bruce. "Then, no, Bruce. You're not the only
one, not even close." Lex sighed heavily and shrugged back into the pillows,
too.
 
"You make it look so easy, Lex. I forget that it's hard for other people, too."
Lex turned his head and Bruce was looking right back at him, so near and
immediate.
 
"It's not easy. Only with you," Lex said quietly.
 
But Bruce just looked sad and corrected, reaching a hand out and cupping Lex's
cheek, "And Lin."
 
 
***
 
 
Lex skipped lunch, avoiding it in favor of working out in the gym. After he'd
cleaned up, he made a deliberately vague call to Chance, just checking in to
see how things were going. Chance called him on it and told him not to worry.
He sent his regards to Lin and asked after Lucas.
 
Lex told him everything here was fine, and Chance laughed, telling him he was a
"piss-poor liar."
 
After another discussion with Alfred, Lex later volunteered to go upstairs and
get everyone for dinner. Lian was first, and he and Liza started off towards
the kitchen. . . leaving Lex to track down Lin and Lucas.
 
They weren't in Lin's room, or any of the other rooms on the second floor. Lex
checked Bruce's office, even going down to the gym and shower room.
 
And then he remembered overhearing Lin saying something to Lucas about riding.
The stables, he thought, grabbing a coat and heading out into the snowy
evening. Thankfully, there was a cleared, stone path from the manor to the
stables, since Lex hadn't thought to change his shoes.
 
Pushing open the door to the building proper and walking inside, he was warmed
and comforted by the earthy, strong smell of horses. Hot noses came out to
investigate him as he walked farther into the stable. He smiled, petting the
mare he'd ridden last time. "Hey, there, girl," he cooed, stroking the soft
velvet of her head. "You see two boys anywhere?" She blew out a rush of hot air
on his hands, and Lex chuckled. "Yeah, well, keep an eye out for me, will ya?"
One final pet, and he moved away.
 
It was over near the doorway to the other side of the building that Lex found
them. One door to a fenced-in paddock was open, and there, black against the
snow, they stood -- Lucas, with his back against Lin's chest, and Lin, with his
arms wrapped securely around him.
 
They were both gazing up into the sky, stars already lighting up the night, and
Lex felt like an idiot.
 
"Hey," he called softly. Lucas spun in the circle of Lin's arms, his face
showing shock and stark surprise, but Lex only had to look at Lin to know he'd
heard him approaching. Lin just gazed back at him, no expression on his face.
Lex maintained eye contact and said, "Dinner's ready."
 
Then he turned around and headed back inside.
 
 
***
 
 
Interrupt
 
 
It was difficult sometimes, to keep focused and steady, to remember where and
when he was. . . who he was, here.
 
Lucas needed someone to look after him, always had, as far as Lin knew. And for
awhile there, that'd been his job, his only job. He took care of Lucas. He
tried to shelter and protect Lian.
 
He always, always tried to hide the truth from Lex. Always.
 
What was it they'd used to say -- be steady, and we'll be done soon.
 
They'd lied. It didn't matter how still or obedient he was. Lucas always
fought, and Lin tried, tried so hard not to. If it were the two of them in the
room, if some new experiment needed a control and Lucas was well enough. . .
then Lin always tried to be steady. For Lucas' sake.
 
And he'd always believed that your life flashed before your eyes when you died,
but they lied about that, too. It was just, one moment you're there and
struggling for just. One. More. Breath. . . and the next, your chest feels like
it's on fire and Dr. Garner is leaning over you with that smirk on his face.
 
He just couldn't escape it. If it weren't something at the Centre, then it was
something at the house. He'd come back with-- with Lionel, and then something
would happen. That man would say something cruel about Lex, or Lian sometimes.
He'd make fun of Lin, or just treat the staff like thieving imbeciles, when
everyone was really too terrified to even think of stealing.
 
And these days, he wasn't even there anymore. None of them were, nor ever had
to be again. But. . . he still was. Every day was waking up and trying to be
okay. Every moment, he had to orient himself back to here and now and them.
 
And it was because of him. Because of Lionel. He poisoned everything he
touched. He turned everyone against each other, and then just sat back and
laughed. Sometimes in his nightmares, Lin dreamed that he'd escaped, that Lucas
had, even. . .
 
. . . but that Lian was somehow trapped, locked forever in Lionel's arms and
listening to that man's every word. He'd have loved that, Lionel would, to have
turned Julian into himself. Like he'd tried with Lex, before recognizing it as
impossible. Like Lin thought he might have attempted with Lucas, way back when
he'd still. . . acted sort of human. Lian was strong, and he was brave and
loyal, and so very loving and kind. But he was human, too. He was just as weak
as he was strong, like everybody, and there was only so much hatred and
ruthlessness a person could listen to before they started. . . believing it.
Before they couldn't tell the difference between the truth and reality. . . and
the world he created. Everyone had weaknesses, and. . . and Lionel's favorite
game was to turn those fears and damaged spots against a person.
 
He wasn't there anymore. He'd escaped. They'd gone back for Lucas; they'd taken
Lian with them. Lex was so strong and compassionate now. Lucas would heal, he
knew he would. As long as he had his books and someone to check up on him, he
imagined Lucas could live a relatively normal life. Maybe he'd find a girl, or
maybe he'd live alone and be happy. Just him and his words, secure in the
knowledge that he would never be trapped like that ever again.
 
Lucas would be fine. Lex would be. . . amazing, when all this died down. Lex
was always amazing. Julian wasn't okay. He could see that every time he looked
at the poor kid, but that boy was made of strong stuff. Strength and power and
genius and fortitude were all in his blood, and Lian had enough love and
compassion and humanity in him to overcome anything.
 
But they were here now, with Bruce. And maybe someday, they'd move -- all
together, or in ones and twos. Eventually, they'd all leave this house. Bruce
would say goodbye and get back to living his life, instead of theirs.
 
It would change again, and again, and again. Maybe he'd-- maybe Lionel would be
confronted with his crimes, and maybe he wouldn't. Maybe he'd die and finally
do something good.
 
They were free. They were all free, and there was so much hope that it
overflowed onto everything and everyone. He could see it sometimes, the color
of it as it passed from people's eyes, out and across their entire faces.
Happiness was like a beam of light, or a rain shower: it never affected just
one person.
 
They were free, all of them.
 
But then, why did he still feel trapped? Why could he never catch his breath,
or draw someone smiling and laughing anymore?
 
Why did he secretly wish he were. . . still back there, when only evil ever
came from Lionel?
 
He didn't want this life, now that he had it. Every day, he woke up terrified,
afraid to even get out of bed. If it weren't for Lucas needing him, Lin might
just stay in that one room all day.
 
And Daniel told them, during one of those early sessions, that feelings like
these would pass. Acclimation, he said. They'd get used to a new life, a new
place, soon enough.
 
But it'd been weeks and weeks, and nothing had changed.
 
Lin thought he should have expected it. Daniel had lied. But then, how was that
different from anyone?
 
Or maybe. . . maybe the same rules just didn't apply to Lin. Perhaps he was too
alien, too different, too 'unfixable.'
 
Maybe these feelings would never go away.
 
And maybe they'd only disappear once Lionel was a corpse, rotting in the
ground. Or ashes scattered over a waste dump.
 
Maybe then, he'd have peace.
 
 
***
 
 
That morning, he got up 15 minutes after Lucas. They'd been sleeping in the
same bed since returning, and if Lex knew. . . he never said anything, never
even looked twice at the two of them emerging from the room together.
 
Lin wished he would. Anything, for Lex to just look at him twice. . .
 
Lucas had decided he liked black best of all apparently, as he'd been
consistently picking that color to wear since they'd come here. It made sense,
though. All he'd ever seen Lucas wear. . . there. . . had been white, sometimes
grey. And black was as far from white as you could get.
 
Too bad he looked more like his father when he wore black, but that couldn't be
helped. Lin was pretty sure no one else had made the same connection, so he
kept it to himself.
 
He asked him if it were all right to keep the bathroom door open. They'd lived
in close quarters together for so long that it felt wrong and strange and
uncomfortable to be this close. . . and have a shut door between them. And of
course, Lucky didn't mind. He'd just shrugged and nodded, and always left it
open.
 
Lin would catch himself thinking about his habits sometimes, about the things
he had to do a certain way. Once, he'd been told that he most likely had OCD,
and even though he'd dismissed it at the time, he wondered now if there were
some truth to it. After all, Daniel had been the one to tell him that, all
those years ago, and now Daniel was a professional head-shrinker.
 
But then, Daniel had also suggested that Lex was bi-polar once upon a time, so
one couldn't categorically believe everything the man said. Everyone lied, and,
more, everyone thought they were always right. Sure, Daniel had no clue what he
was really telling Lin, but it'd still been said.
 
Lex wasn't manic-depressive. He wasn't a sociopath, and he wasn't psychotic,
either. He was Alex, Alexander, who'd laughed and joked and played with him all
those years ago. He was Lex, who always got straight A's and made the Dean's
list every semester. He was charming and intelligent and handsome and
sophisticated. He always tried; he never gave up. Lex always came back. He was
a good man.
 
So he couldn't be psychotic. It wouldn't be possible because, if there were one
thing in the whole world Lin was absolutely sure of. . . it was that Lex was
nothing like his father.
 
And Lionel was crazy.
 
So, Lex couldn't be. As simple as that.
 
 
***
 
 
"You can come, if you want," he told Lucas quietly. He finished putting on his
coat, and turned around to meet his eyes. "I just thought maybe. . . you
wouldn't want to go out. So soon, I mean," he said stiltedly.
 
Lucas, from his position on the bed, shrugged and returned his attention to the
book in his lap. "I don't care," he mumbled, and Lin counted to five with a
deep breath.
 
"Well, we're leaving now, so. . . do you want to come with us, Lucas, or not?"
 
Silence for a moment, then Lucky looked up and said in a clear voice, "No, you
go ahead. I'll stay here." He lifted the book a little, most likely reminding
Lin that he had something to keep him occupied, then attempted to smile.
 
 Lin moved closer to the bed and reached out with his hand to touch Lucas'
hair. "You know where everyone is?" he asked, and Lucas nodded. His eyes went
shallow and vague as he looked across the room and through the floor, but then
snapped back to Lin.
 
"Bruce is. . . 'downstairs,'" Lucky said, and Lin smiled at him, nodding in
agreement. They'd decided 'basement' or 'downstairs' was a good term for the
cave. Never knew who could be listening, or what might slip in public someday,
and it was best to get in the habit of using code words early, in the beginning
before things started getting crazier.
 
"And Lex?"
 
"On the track again," Lucas answered quickly. He frowned a bit as his eyes went
back down to where Lex was, and Lin followed suit, sifting through the various
layers of floor and space until he could see the top of Lex's head. "He's
tired," Lucky said quietly. "Listen to his heartbeat. It's too fast."
 
"No, it's not," Colin replied. "Lex's heart is strong." He moved his hand to
the side of Lucas' face, dragging his attention back to this room and this
moment. . . and away from Lex. "He'll always be okay, physically. Remember?"
 
Lucas nodded, ducking his head in embarrassment for apparently having
forgotten.
 
"Hey," Lin said, sitting down on the bed next to him. "Don't worry so much.
You're doing fine, here. And quit pushing so hard," he told him, smiling to
take any sting out of his words.
 
"You're so far ahead of me," Lucas complained in a low voice. "I just want to
do what you can do." He raised his head up and stared right into Lin's eyes. "I
want to go with you, Lin. See what you see and-- and-- "
 
"You will," he said, softly. "In a few weeks, you'll be right there with me,
every step of the way. I promise, yeah?"
 
Lucas just sighed and nodded his head sadly. "Yeah," he replied.
 
Lin moved his hand down to squeeze Lucas' arm, and then got back to his feet.
"So," he said. "You're sure you don't want to come along? Alfred doesn't bite,
you know."
 
Lucas had already gone back to reading, but he lifted a hand and waved it at
Lin dismissively.
 
Colin chuckled as he turned and left the room, closing the door securely behind
himself.
 
 
***
 
 
"Now the trick, Master Colin, is starting out slowly. Take your time pushing
down the gas pedal. Don't rush."
 
He took a deep breath and set his foot down on the right pedal. The car lurched
forward alarmingly, and Lin immediately yanked his foot back. He ended up
slamming his knee into the steering wheel, while Alfred said loudly, "The other
pedal, sir! Put your foot down on the left pedal, Master Colin!"
 
He did so, and the car jerked to a teeth-rattling stop.
 
They sat there for a minute in silence, until a strange sound came to Lin's
attention. He turned his head in shock, staring at Alfred who had a hand
covering his mouth and whose shoulders were shaking.
 
He was laughing. Hard. Lin frowned.
 
"Sor-- sorry, Master. . . Colin," the man tried to say in between bouts of
hysterical cackling, but his voice just kept dipping into this loud 'Ha-ha-ha-
ha' sound. Lin kept frowning, resisting the urge to laugh just because Alfred
was.
 
"What?" he asked. "What'd I do?"
 
"Nothing!" he gasped out. "Oh, nothing, sir. I just-- " and he paused to wipe
at the corners of his eyes, still grinning and shaking his head back and forth.
"I remember teaching other young boys and girls how to drive, and. . . " He met
Lin's eyes and said with another quick laugh, "It's always the same. Every
single time, the foot goes down," and here he mimed the action with his hand,
then made a screeching sound. "And the car leaps forward and then-- " A mock
look of incredulous surprise and then Alfred gestured at Lin's legs. "Up, goes
the foot. . . right into the steering console! Never the brake. Never!" He
started chuckling again, and Lin crossed his arms over his chest. And didn't
pout. Not even a little bit.
 
Alfred's laughter slowed and then ceased altogether. Lin was glad Lucky hadn't
come along. . . even if he could use a good laugh. And maybe it shouldn't have
cheered him up any, but the realization that Lucas would have to learn how to
drive someday soothed Lin a little.
 
At least he hadn't had Lex teach him. If he had, he'd most likely be on the
receiving end of a lecture right now on the exact workings of the car, famous
accidents and statistics, and perhaps a few of Lex's own. . . 'mishaps.' And
being stuck in a small car, with Lex, while being unable to touch him, was not
something Lin wanted to experience any time soon.
 
He'd rather stare at Lex from afar, than have to stand next to him as only a
brother.
 
"Master Colin?" Alfred's voice broke into his woolgathering. "Did you want to
try again?"
 
He turned his head back to the wheel and took a deep breath. This time, he
barely laid his foot down on the accelerator, and slowly. . . slowly. . .
 
"That's it, sir!" Alfred exclaimed in delight. "Exactly so. Now, the turn's
coming up soon, so just ease. . . "
 
 
***
 
 
He drove about halfway into the city, then switched and let Alfred take over.
They were heading in to do some shopping. Alfred's weekly trip was today, and
Lin had volunteered to help him.
 
He'd even asked if it'd be okay for him to drive the second leg of the trip
back to the manor. Lin didn't think he was ready to get behind the wheel in the
city yet. Nor anytime soon, if he had his way.
 
They stopped at the same store they had a few weeks ago, when it was the two of
them, along with Lian and Liza. He helped Alfred pick out some clothes for
Lucas, so he wouldn't have to borrow Lin's anymore. He got him a black, wool
peacoat and some black slacks and jeans. Alfred insisted on some blue, red and
white shirts, and Lin just shrugged, knowing Lucas would wear the black more
often anyway.
 
Finally, they were done picking out clothes and heading to the registers, when,
by chance, his eyes fell on a little boy all by himself near the tie display.
He looked utterly lost and devastated, and Lin immediately stopped and put a
hand on Alfred's arm. When the older man turned to him questioningly, Lin
jerked his head towards the kid. Alfred gave him a look, before nodding and
continuing up to the counter.
 
Lin approached the boy slowly, trying to make eye contact and not sneak up on
him, but the kid just ducked his head and twisted his hands.
 
"Hey," Lin said softly, when he'd gotten close enough. "Are you lost?"
 
The boy -- younger than Lian by a few years, he guessed -- finally looked up
and Lin could see his eyes were wet. He wasn't crying yet, but he was close,
and Lin stepped closer, dropping to his knees like Lex always did with Lian.
 
"Hey, it's okay." He cast a quick glance around the immediate area, searching
for some frantic man or woman, some older sister or brother looking worriedly
for a sibling. No one close, though, and he turned back to the boy with a
forced smile. "Who are you here with? Your mom or dad? Sister?"
 
The kid sniffled -- honest to God, sniffled -- and shook his head. "My mom. . .
" he whispered forlornly.
 
"We'll find her, don't worry. What's she look like?" he asked. "Do you remember
the color of the coat she was wearing?"
 
"Purple," the boy responded immediately. "She's got brown hair. And-- and it's
really curly, like yours." He tried to smile, but ended up just sniffling some
more.
 
Lin nodded encouragingly. "My name's Colin," he said. "What's yours?"
 
"Tim," the little boy responded. He darted a glance over to the other side of
the store. "We were over there," he said, pointing. "But I-- it was boring and
I-- "
 
" --and you decided to go exploring, right?" he finished for him. Tim nodded
hesitantly and Lin returned it with another smile.
 
"She wasn't there when I went back," Tim said.
 
"Well, let's go find her, shall we?" And he stood up and met Alfred's eyes
across the floor. He was smiling at Lin fondly, and gestured with his hands
that he'd stay there till he got back.
 
"You're really tall," Tim said beside him as they started walking. Lin smiled
and looked down at him.
 
"Yes, I s'pose I am. But I'm also pretty old, too, so that's why."
 
"How old?" he asked, and Lin was happy to see the tears had vanished for now.
Tim was looking curious and determined, like Lin was some mystery to solve. A
little distraction, he thought to himself, and the kid's right as rain.
 
"Fifteen," Lin told him.
 
Tim wrinkled his nose and frowned. Lin wondered if he looked like that when he
frowned.
 
After a moment, Tim looked up at him and said, "My mom's older. . . " as if
consoling him for being such a lofty age. Lin chuckled and made a sound of
agreement, as they walked through the store.
 
He slipped into his other vision for a second, scanning ahead for a purple coat
and brown, curly hair.
 
On the left, purple coat over her arm as she moved quickly past the racks of
clothing, was a woman flushed and breathing heavily. Her eyes darted back and
forth quickly in worry or fear. . .
 
"Tim," Lin said, stopping and lightly setting a hand on the boy's shoulder. "I
see your mom up ahead." Tim jerked his head around quickly, straining up on his
tiptoes to catch a glimpse of her. "I'll see you later, okay, buddy?"
 
Tim turned his head back to him, frowning again, as Lin started to move away.
"But-- "
 
"Tim!" came a woman's cry, and Lin took that moment to move back.
 
"Mommy!" and the boy was off like a shot towards the woman. Lin watched, just
to make sure, but startled when the woman's eyes turned to him. His lips
twitched in an automatic attempt at smiling, but when she grinned back at him,
Lin started backing away.
 
"No, wait!" she called out, herding Tim close to her side and rushing up to
Lin. "Wait! Did you help him?" she asked.
 
"Uh-- "
 
"He did, Mom," Tim put in, looking up at Lin like he'd come to his rescue. "His
name's Colin!"
 
She smiled at her son before reaching for Lin's hands, stopping abruptly when
he moved back in a flinch. Her smile turned forced, but her eyes were still
warm.
 
"Thank you," she said, emotion making her eyes shine. "I thought I'd lost him."
 
"He asked me questions!" Tim declared excitedly. "Like a real detective, Mom!"
 
She chuckled, and said, "He likes detective stories," in a conspiratorial
voice. "Can't get enough of them." She ruffled Tim's hair and smiled down
fondly at him. Then, with a quick jerk of her head, she met Lin's eyes again.
"What's your name? Colin? I'm Janet Drake, and this is Tim."
 
"He knows, Mom," Tim whined, frowning again. "I told him."
 
"I know you did, sweetie," she replied. "But it's nice to make introductions."
 
"I, uh-- I should be going now." Lin hesitated. "It was nice meeting you, Ms.
Drake. And you, too, Tim," he said a little more warmly.
 
"What's your last name?" Tim asked, and Lin cursed his luck for having to get a
miniature detective. Of all kids, he had to stumble upon this one. . .
 
"Luthor," he replied, a little coldly. Realizing how that might come across, he
added, "But everyone calls me Lin." He kept his eyes on Tim, afraid of what
Janet's reaction might be, whether she might know. . . or read the paper at
all.
 
"Thanks. . . Lin!" Tim said.
 
"You're welcome. Hey," he said, bending over and meeting Tim's eyes. "Stay
close to your mom next time, yeah?" And the boy ducked his head in
embarrassment. The move made Lin look twice, trying to figure out how it seemed
familiar. Shaking it away, he stood up straight again.
 
Janet was looking at him sadly, as she clutched Tim tighter to her chest. Lin
nodded to her once more, then turned around and. . . walked away. Alfred was
waiting right at the counter, chatting with one of the salesgirls, and Lin
reached down to pick up the four bags at the man's feet.
 
"You have yourself a wonderful holiday, Miss," Alfred told her, and the girl
smiled prettily at him. Her eyes then flicked over to Lin, and she blushed when
he met her eyes. Girls. Strange creatures.
 
As they stepped outside, Alfred tugging his scarf closer around his neck, Lin
looked up at the sky and smiled. It was snowing again, just light, almost
translucent flakes, but still. . . snow.
 
Alfred waited until they were both situated in the car before speaking. He
steered carefully down the busy street, and, without looking over, said, "That
was a good thing you did back there, Colin."
 
Lin looked at the side of the man's face, vaguely confused as to why something
felt off about the praise. "He was lost," he finally replied. Then he shrugged.
"She would have found him eventually."
 
But Alfred shook his head, glancing quickly at him before going back to the
street. "Perhaps, perhaps not. The point is, you helped that boy and I don't
think you'll forget that. You did a very good thing today, Master Colin."
 
He realized then what had been different about Alfred's comment. He hadn't said
'sir' or 'Master Colin.' Alfred had called him just by his name only.
 
He didn't know if that were important, but it felt significant. Just like that
boy. He'd felt compelled to go over there, like he was. . . Destined To Meet
Tim Drake at that exact moment in time. The boy reminded him of Lian, in a way
that not all children did. It was more than him just being smart and young and
open. It, too, felt important.
 
And he'd helped that boy, Lin thought, as they pulled into a parking garage.
He, Colin Luthor, had helped that kid find his mother. It was a good feeling,
that. He'd made a difference, rescued someone, however small and minor the
incident. Maybe. . . maybe this is why Bruce does it, he thought. . .
 
And Alfred was right. Maybe that kid wouldn't have found his way back to his
mother. Maybe Lin had prevented something truly horrible from happening.
 
After all, bad things happened to children left alone, left abandoned in big
places like stores, or supermarkets, or crowded parks.
 
Or cornfields.
 
 
***
 
 
He ran and ran and ran and felt like he never got anywhere, like he never would
get anywhere. And when he was done, when he'd stopped, Lex felt just as he had
before he'd begun -- shitty. And unsure.
 
Lin was in love with him, according to Bruce, but he'd seen that kid with his
arms wrapped around Lucas the other night. That was no brotherly cuddle, at
least Lex didn't think so.
 
But then, how was he expected to know what something like that looked like?
 
He didn't hug that often, never had, really. Only. . . his mother and Pamela
when he was a kid, sometimes little Colin, when the boy had wanted to, which
wasn't all that often. He hugged Julian now, tried to as often as he could,
knowing Lian needed that affection.
 
He and Bruce didn't really. . . hug, per se. They didn't really cuddle, either,
or wrap themselves around each other at night. Lex didn't feel the need to
constantly tether Bruce to his side, and in fact loved him more for his
independence and confidence than anything. He admired Bruce, it was true, but
at the same time that didn't exclude him from seeing the man's faults.
 
So it baffled him, this closeness Lin seemed to have with everyone. Touching
and hugging and snuggling with all of them, and it made Lex feel a little
guilty that that behavior was exactly the opposite of what he'd been
anticipating. Expecting. Preparing himself for. Lin had been. . . abused.
Physically and. . . mentally.
 
Lionel had done quite the number on Colin, and a lot of it had been--
 
Maybe that was part of it. Because he hadn't gotten any affection when he was
so young, maybe now Lin craved it so badly he freely initiated physical
contact. Perhaps it was something else, too. Perhaps Lin actually really needed
touch in his life.
 
Maybe that was part of him being. . . alien.
 
It made Lex feel sick to think about what had gone on all those years. While
he'd been at school, while he'd been drinking and clubbing, while he'd been
thinking of Lin as a betrayer and Judas. . . the boy was being tortured because
he'd had the worst luck possible. He'd landed near a Luthor, set down within
Lionel's grasp, and from then on his fate had been sealed.
 
Lin hugged everyone it seemed, but he never hugged Lex. Only that time in the
bathroom after. . . Lex had found him about to do something stupid, and even
then it'd been Lex who'd initiated it.
 
Lin was in love with him, but he hardly ever touched him. . . willingly.
 
And Lex didn't know what he felt anymore, besides tired and sad and still so
very, very guilty.
 
Listening to Lionel was a mistake. Believing he'd ever tell the truth about
anything was begging for pain.
 
 
***
 
 
"Well, I can't say as I'm that surprised, son," came Lionel's smarmy tone from
the receiver. There was a breathy sigh, and then he said, complete with
disappointing tone, "I just expected you to be. . . hmmm, more intrepid
perhaps. This was very careless, Lex. Very indiscreet."
 
Lex threw his calc book across the room and resisted the urge to scream right
into the phone.
 
"I have no idea what you're actually talking about, Dad, but I'm pretty sure it
has nothing to do with m-- "
 
"That's nothing new, is it now?" his father interrupted. There was silence,
while Lionel apparently waited for him to get his meaning, and Lex struggled to
pull his mind out of the ether.
 
"Excuse me?" was his witty rejoinder, and even Lex winced at how pathetic he
sounded.
 
The bastard chuckled. "Oh, Lex," he said, almost fondly one might think. . .
were it not Lionel Luthor saying it. "You just float around in your own little
world these days, don't you? Going to dance clubs, and making deals, and you
spend a lot of your time in those labs, don't you, son?
 
"Well, when you're not stealing my money, that is."
 
He couldn't breathe. It felt like he was suffocating. He couldn't breathe.
 
He was being followed? Watched? For how long?
 
"No answer?" his father prompted, and there was no laughter in his voice now.
"No smart comeback or lewd deflection?" Lionel made a tsk-ing sound. "This is
it, Lex, your warning. Stop this right now, all of it. You hear me? I am not
paying for you to learn how to be a drug dealer. And I want that 70,000 back
immediately. This is not a game, and you haven't done anything but make a fool
out of yourself, and me."
 
"I earned that money. I don't care what you think of the means, I still made
that all myself, and you have no right to-- "
 
"You sold the car, Lex!" his father shouted back. "You sold the car I bought
you for drugs, didn't you? And then you have the gall to tell me you earned
it!"
 
"It was mine, though," Lex insisted. Some part of him recognized the fact that
he needed to shut his mouth, and do it right now, but his brain must not have
gotten the memo today. He just kept talking and digging himself a deeper and
deeper hole. "Like you said, you bought it for me, and after that it became
mine to do with as I wished. It was a gift."
 
Lionel snorted derisively, and Lex looked longingly over at the baggie on his
bed.
 
"You know what?" his father said slowly, clearly, like he was over enunciating
for the sake of an idiot. "I don't care what you consider it. I want $70,000,
money that you owe me, and I want it yesterday! Lex, you hear me? That brain of
yours still working, or should I have Julian come up there and help you tie
your shoes?"
 
"You son-of-a-bitch," Lex whispered angrily. He was so angry, he couldn't even
see straight, and all that bastard ever did was make everything worse.
 
"How'd you even find out anyway, Dad?" he dared to ask. Again, with the
uncontrollable mouth. "You having me followed? That's pretty stalker-ish, old
man. Getting a little obsessive in your old age?"
 
Another chuckle, though this one was slightly darker than the first.
 
"Oh, you'd be surprised who's working for me now, son, you really would. And,
to think, the two of you used to be as thick as thieves. Just goes to show, I
guess, what years and miles will do to a. . . brotherly bond."
 
Fuck.
 
Oh, Jesus.
 
"Well, as entertaining as this conversation has been," Lionel said briskly. "I
must unfortunately attend to other business. You understand, son," he said on
another chuckle. "The rigors of running one's own business and all that.
 
"Oh, and, Lex? You stop using that shit or we'll have a different kind of
'conversation,' you get me?"
 
Lex nodded, still in shock, and even though there was no way for his father to
know, to see, somehow Lionel 'hmmmed' in pleasure.
 
"Good," he said. "I'll talk to you later, son. Enjoy the rest of the weekend!"
 
And with that, he hung up, leaving Lex still clutching the phone.
 
That's how Bruce found him -- standing in the middle of their room with the
phone. It was still turned on, and the loud, grating beeping of it made Lex
want to hurl it across the room. But he didn't, couldn't make his arms move to
his command.
 
"Lex?" Bruce asked him quietly. He closed his hand over Lex's and tugged the
phone free of his grasp. "What's wrong?"
 
And didn't it make a weird kind of sense that Lionel would use Lin against him?
When Lian was old enough, Lex was sure the old bastard wouldn't hesitate to
start messing him up, too.
 
"Lex?"
 
"I'm going to kill him for this," he finally said, and Bruce just wrinkled his
brow at him.
 
And the most terrifying thing was, he didn't even know whom he meant at that
moment.
 
His father. . . or his brother, who'd betrayed him to the one person they'd
promised each other never to turn into.
 
Sounded like Colin Luthor was well on his way to becoming his father's son.
 
 
***
 
 
Lex woke up that morning to an empty bed. But, when he raised his head and
peered blearily across the room, he could make out light coming from the master
bath. It shone in a streak across the floor of the bedroom, almost touching
Lex's hand.
 
He rubbed his eyes and sat up. It was warm even outside the blankets and
bedding, so Lex didn't bother with a robe or slippers. He just slid off the bed
and slumped his way into the bathroom.
 
There was steam and the sound of running water, and Lex looked up to see the
blurry outline of Bruce in the shower.
 
"Lex?"
 
"No," he called back, bracing himself on the sink as he fumbled for his
toothbrush. "It's Alfred! What can I do for you, sir?!"
 
Bruce opened the shower door and stuck his head around. Water dripped off his
hair and chin, and his eyes were unclouded.
 
He looked happy. For Bruce, that was.
 
"I just got in," he said, and smirked. Lex saw the dimple in Bruce's cheek and
turned his head back to look in the mirror, nearly swallowing his mouthful of
toothpaste. "Hurry up and join me. . . Alfred." Then, with a wink and leer, he
ducked back into the water, the door closing behind him with a soft snick.
 
Lex scrubbed and brushed as fast as he could, then spit. He didn't bother
rinsing, just began pushing off his sweats and shirt. He pulled the door open
and stepped inside, Bruce shifting away slightly to give him room.
 
"Here," Bruce said quietly, and hands came up Lex's back. He began rubbing at
Lex's shoulders, and down the backs of his arms. Lex smiled and dropped his
head down farther under the stream of water.
 
"Thanks," he rumbled back, and Bruce chuckled once or twice.
 
"Never a morning person till after the third cup of coffee," he whispered into
Lex's ear. Then he nipped at it, pulling the cartilage with his teeth. Lex bit
his lip and breathed out a sigh.
 
"Says the man who keeps the nocturnal hours of a bat," Lex returned.
 
Bruce grabbed his hips and spun him around, and Lex met his eyes without
hesitation. But nothing was said, and he didn't look angry at Lex's comment.
Quite the opposite, in fact. Bruce kept his eyes wide open as he leaned closer
and closer, but Lex let his slip shut.
 
He loved that moment of waiting before a kiss, that anticipation of soft lips
just out of reach, but getting nearer and nearer with each thought.
 
Bruce kissed him close-mouthed for a long time, just a pressing together. He
hadn't shaved yet, either, and Lex brought his hands up to the man's rough
face. He laid them on Bruce's cheeks, and the thumb of his right hand fit
perfectly along that dimple.
 
Slowly, one of those hands slipped its way down between Lex's legs. He breathed
in, and Bruce opened his mouth at the same time as his finger pressed inside.
His mouth was on Bruce's, his tongue brushing and rubbing against his, and
Bruce's one finger became two.
 
Lex reached with one hand and gripped the man's hair, tugging at it and twining
his fingers through it. Bruce pulled their mouths apart, and made his way
leisurely across Lex's face with kisses and licks. He tugged at Lex's ear
again, the hot pants of his breath sending chills up and down Lex's spine.
 
"You're still open from last night," Bruce breathed out, and Lex bit his lip
again.
 
"Yeah," he agreed. Then, turning his head and meeting Bruce's eyes, he asked,
"You gonna do something about that?"
 
Bruce smirked again, and crooked his fingers.
 
"Shit!" Lex shouted, his whole body arching and reaching for Bruce.
 
"What was that you were saying?" Bruce asked smugly, and Lex didn't even bother
scowling at him. He just pressed the front of himself as close to Bruce as he
could get, their cocks sliding and brushing across each other.
 
"I think I was getting to the 'fuck me again' part," Lex said. "But your
wonderful hand distracted me."
 
"'Wonderful hand,' huh?" he mused. "I like that. I have wonderful hands. My
hands," and here he started fondling Lex's cock, "are wonderful."
 
"Yes!" Lex cried out. "God, yes, they are! Oh, God. . . "
 
"Not yet," Bruce said, pulling his fingers out of Lex and slapping him on the
ass. "What part were you almost to again?"
 
Lex groaned and sighed. He batted Bruce's other hand away from his dick, in
favor of turning around and bracing himself against the tile of the shower
stall.
 
"The 'fuck me again' part," he said deadpan. Lex looked at Bruce over his
shoulder and lifted an
eyebrow at him.
 
And Bruce smiled.
 
 
***
 
 
Lian was eating some eggs and bacon it looked like, and Lin was spooning up his
cereal at a fast pace. Liza had taken a couple days off to see some friends,
Lex remembered, so it was a mini vacation for them. Lucas was sitting next to
Lin reading the newspaper, and apparently already finished with his breakfast,
if the empty bowl were any indication.
 
Lex wondered what they were going to do with the kid. Should they start taking
him to therapy sessions with them? How much of the truth were they going to
divulge?
 
"Morning, guys," Lex said, crossing the kitchen and pouring himself a cup of
coffee. He smiled as he recalled Bruce's gibe about not being a morning person.
 
Lian nodded to him distractedly, but Colin looked up and almost. . . smiled.
Lucas was absorbed in some article, and it didn't look like good news from the
heavy frown on his face.
 
"So what's new in the world today, Lucas?" Lex asked. He was leaning against
the island counter, but straightened when Lucas looked over and met his eyes.
Suddenly, Lex's good mood evaporated like so much ice in a desert, for the look
on Lucas' face was. . . worrying.
 
He looked terrified.
 
"Lucky?" Lin asked from the kid's left. "What's the matter?"
 
Lucas kept his eyes on Lex, though, and in response held out the paper. Lex set
his coffee down on the counter, closed the distance between them, and gently
took the folded newspaper from Lucas' hand.
 
It was folded to show most prominently the middle of the page, where an article
on a grisly murder was featured. Lex glanced down at Lucas again, a questioning
look on his face, before skimming through the contents.
 
He couldn't breathe.
 
No.
 
No.
 
"Lex?"
 
He looked up from the blurry print, first into Lucas' sad eyes, then over to
Lin's.
 
"What is it?" Lin asked him, such dread and worry in his expression.
 
He wished he could make it all go away for him -- all the pain and suffering
Lin had taken for him, for Julian, for Lucas. He wished he could go back and
trade places with him, make Lionel use him instead of that beautiful boy.
 
Instead of beautiful Lin.
 
But he couldn't. It wasn't possible to change what had happened. And he
couldn't lie to them, to his brothers.
 
All three of them.
 
Lex met Lin's eyes head-on and told him the honest to God truth.
 
"Chance is dead. Murdered."
 
Why was it the truth always had to hurt more?
 
Lex turned his head to look out the bank of windows, not able to watch Lin gasp
and cry in disbelief. The sound of Lian's fork dropping made Lex flinch, but
all his focus remained on the sky outside.
 
Clouds covered the sun, and it had grown dark.
 
A storm was coming.
 
 
***
 
***** Chapter 5 *****
Lex turned around at the sound of a chair scraping across the floor, and his
sudden fear was completely founded when he caught the tail-end of Lin's escape
into the foyer.
 
"Colin!" he shouted, running into the hallway after him. "Lin, goddammit, get
back here! Where're you going?!"
 
There was a loud rushing sound, and a sudden wind of fast-moving air, and then
Lin was standing right in front of Lex. He was breathing in and out quickly,
his eyes narrowed and. . . wild.
 
"Look what he did!" Lin shouted back at Lex, right into his face and Lex was
hard pressed not to back up in reaction to the noise. "He-- he fucking killed
him, Lex!" Colin's voice became hushed and quavering, his eyes darting around
the area and refusing to lock on Lex's. "He's dead. Chance is dead. He's
really-- he's really. . . "
 
Lex took a deep breath and set his hand on Lin's shoulder, moving closer and
trying to calm him down. "Yes," he said, bringing his other hand up to Colin's
arm. "He's. . . gone, but-- " He hesitated, wondering whether even asking if
Lin was going to run again might be a. . . self-fulfilling prophecy. "But you
can't leave, Lin, please. I can't-- I can't go through all that again,
wondering where you are, if you're hurt or safe." Lex finally managed to snag
Lin's eyes, and said, "Not knowing if. . . somehow. . . you've been caught or-
- "
 
"Lin?" asked a small voice behind Lex, and he glanced back to see Julian and
Lucas standing there. Lian looked sick, pale and sweaty, fidgety, and Lucas
just. . . looked like that statue Lex remembered dragging through the Centre.
No emotion was really visible on the kid's face, not that Lex could detect, and
that unsettled him more than anything. Julian had a glass face. Everything he
felt and thought was practically inscribed in his expression, always. But with
Lucas, with Lin most times, too, it was never that easy.
 
And it was never a good sign when suddenly Lex found himself staring at a
mannequin, for all intents and purposes. Not with Lin, not with Lucas. Not with
Bruce. No emotion was always a bad sign.
 
"You're not going away again, are you?" Lian asked disappointedly. Lex almost
turned around and hugged the kid when Lin flinched at the question. Good. Colin
needed to see that running away from everything didn't really work. Only very
rarely, and Lex didn't think this was one of those times. "Please don't go
away," Lian pleaded, his voice shaking and sounding so exhausted.
 
"No," Lin rasped, clearing his throat with a cough and then trying again. "No,
I won't-- I wasn't going anywhere. Just-- just upstairs, is all." And Lex
couldn't tell by his expression whether or not Lin was lying. He had too good
of a poker face, always had.
 
Lex remembered envying him that, the ability to lie without any ticks or tells.
He didn't anymore.
 
"Good," Lex said, saying something just to fill the silence, but tightening his
grip on Lin's shoulder, just in case. "I think. . . I mean, we should. . . " He
stuttered, suddenly at a loss for what to say. Lex felt the reality of the
situation crash down on him. Usually, right about now, he and Bruce would be
working out a game plan, the two of them combining their strengths and hashing
out in detail the best course of action. But Lex felt strangely reticent about
going to Bruce this time.
 
"Should we. . . ?" Lin started, getting Lex's attention, before finishing his
thought. "Do you think Jameson knows? Or Nick? Is it our job to-- to call them
and tell them?"
 
Lex nodded, squeezing Lin's shoulder before letting his hand drop. He reached
into his pocket and took out his cell, out of habit checking for any new
messages before scrolling down to his contacts. He always did that when he
opened his phone. It was habit, an unconscious task.
 
He didn't expect to actually find one this time.
 
Lex snapped his phone shut in reflex, a moment later realizing that would be a
sign that something was wrong. It was too late, though, for Lin took one look
at Lex's face, dropped his eyes to the cell, and had grabbed it up before Lex
could react.
 
"Lin!" he exclaimed, trying to get it back before Lin could see--
 
There was a loud clattering sound as the phone fell from Lin's hand, and Lex
closed his eyes, feeling like a failure.
 
"What?" Lian called out, pushing forward and making as if to pick up the cell
phone. Both Lex and Lin reacted at the same time, though -- Lex pushing Lian
back, standing in between him and the phone, while Lin grabbed up the offending
piece of plastic, keeping it as far away from Julian as he could. "Lex," Lian
complained, scowling up at him from under his hair. "Let me see!" he demanded.
 
"No," Lex refused. He made his voice firm and cold, completely irreversible.
Lian would never be seeing that picture. "Lin," he called out, keeping his eyes
on Lian's angry ones. "Erase that, okay?"
 
"No," came Lin's reply and Lex jerked his head around.
 
"What do you mean, 'No?'" Lex demanded. He let go of Lian and stalked over to
Lin, sticking his hand out for the phone, but Lin just shook his head. "Lin,
give it here. I'm destroying that shit and-- "
 
"And, what?" Lin sneered. He lifted up the phone and shook it with emphasis.
"Lex, what are you thinking?! This is evidence. We can't delete it! This proves
he's behind it. We should get Nick on the phone. Call Jameson, too. Maybe even
Rachel Dawes. Everyone and anyone who's helped us. We have to warn them, Lex,"
Lin explained. "Tell them all what he did, what he just sent us." There was
suddenly a gleam in Lin's eyes, almost a smile tugging at his lips. "This could
be it," he said, as if that explained everything. The answer to the meaning of
life, or something. The end-all, be-all of existence.
 
A digital picture of Chance screaming, his throat cut and pumping out blood in
a fountain.
 
"It'll never end," denied a whispering voice. Lucas stood framed in the doorway
of the kitchen, resting against it casually, almost serenely. His face was
dead, though, and his eyes were closed. Lex didn't want to know what he was
seeing, but he was sure it wasn't anything to do with Bruce's hallway. "You'll
never connect him to anything. Nothing ever changes."
 
"You're wrong!" Lin hissed, his eyes flashing a startling orange. Lex took an
unconscious step back, pushing Lian behind him, as well. But Lin must have seen
the movement, the way his face drained of color and turned angry at the same
time. "You're wrong," he repeated, eyes still blazing like fire. Lin's body
tensed up and he moved closer to Lex and Lian. "He'll stop. I'll make him stop.
I'll do it. I'll show him what happens when he hurts people."
 
Lex felt guilty even thinking it, but he was scared in that moment. Lin was. .
. frightening, with his slow, deliberate movements, his pulsing anger, and his
eyes burning like hellfire.
 
Lex was still holding a confused Lian back, while trying to unobtrusively put
some more distance between them and Lin, when Lucas brushed past. He strode
right over to Lin and said. . . something. Lex wasn't sure what, it was so
quietly spoken.
 
Lucas murmured then stretched out his hand, palm up. "Take a deep breath. Come
on," he said in a firmer tone when Lin just glared at him. "Stop feeding into
it, or you're going to start a fire."
 
"I won't!" Lin argued, getting right in Lucas' face. His eyes darkened, turning
red and seeming to swirl around inside his face. "I have never hurt anyone.
Never," he repeated, and Lex thought he heard pleading in Lin's voice. It felt
like some sort of bid for understanding on their part because Lin's face
crumpled. He dropped his eyes down to the floor and Lucas brought his hands up
to Lin's cheeks.
 
"Then stop talking like this," Lucas told him quietly. Soothingly. Lucas' voice
was steady and smooth, almost deceptively calm because Lex found himself
responding to it, too. Lian relaxed a little under his hands, and Lex saw Lin
sag a bit. "You always do this, like it's some big surprise that you want
revenge. Lin," Lucas said. "It's not wrong, or, at least, you're not alone in
wanting. . . that. I wish for it, too. Sometimes," and Lucas' breath hitched,
audible from even where Lex and Lian were standing, some few feet behind him.
"Sometimes," Lucas persisted, "I think of all the ways I could do it. Of how
he'd look screaming and writhing on the floor beneath me." He paused, then
said, "I think of locking him up and doing everything to him that he did to us,
watching him being injected with diseases and viruses, and chained like an
animal.
 
"I think of what he did to you," Lucas whispered, and Lex realized that he'd
unconsciously stepped closer to them in order to hear what was being said. Lian
was still in his arms, and he had the thought that this wasn't what his little
brother should be hearing. . . but Lex couldn't step back. He couldn't move,
just stood there holding Julian and feeling like every breath was made of
razors and sharp spikes as he inhaled and exhaled.
 
"I think of what he did," Lucas repeated, "and part of me wants nothing more
than to torture him till he's nothing but a pile of ash and skin." Lin made a
sobbing sound, nodding his head, but still keeping his eyes on the floor.
"You're not a monster, Lin, and you never will be. He lies. He's evil. Lionel
deserves to be put down," and Lin flinched at the name. Lex just flinched at
the way Lucas said it, like he was savoring every syllable. "But you won't be
the one to do it."
 
"I don't want to talk about this anymore," Lin whispered brokenly. He shared a
long look with Lucas, then, the two of them barely breathing as they just
stared at each other. Suddenly Lin's eyes flicked over to Lex and Lian, and he
held his breath. But Lin's eyes were green again, and he wasn't wearing his
Lionel-face anymore. His poker face was gone, and Lex. . . didn't know what to
do.
 
They were still standing in the hall. Lin still had Lex's phone in his hand,
which still had the picture Lionel had sent to him.
 
"Can we sit down?" came Julian's breathy voice, and Lex looked down to the
boy's ashy face.
 
"Yeah," Lex responded, guiding Lian by the shoulders back into the kitchen.
"Yeah, let's sit down and I'll-- " He stopped, waiting for Lin and Lucas to
each take a seat before making for the doorway again. "I'm going to go get
Bruce," he said. "Just stay here, and I'll be back in a minute."
 
Lex shared a look with Lucas on his way out, and knew by the way the kid nodded
at him that Lin and Lian would still be here when he got back.
 
For he saw himself in Lucas' expression, and recognized all that emotion for
what it was.
 
Devotion and penance. Guilty love, like you shouldn't be allowed to be around
such people, and finally he and Lucas had something truly in common.
 
They would do anything for those they loved, and no one was more important than
Colin or Julian.
 
 
***
 
 
"No, it's not necessary," Nick was saying into the phone. "I've got it on this
end. You just stay out there and find out what the hell's going on." He paused,
silent and listening to whatever Jameson was saying across the line. "Well,
then file a goddamn restraining order!" Nick suddenly burst out, resuming his
pacing around Bruce's office. "Tell them Aerson is stalking you and making
threats and they'll-- " He stopped abruptly, both physically and mid-sentence,
and Lex thought he could make out the sounds of Jameson shouting through the
phone.
 
Nick sighed, catching Lex's eyes and then hastily turning away. He put his back
to him and said quietly, "What else can you do? None of this gives him the
right to harass your family, Rick." Another pause, and then, "Fine," Nick said
tersely. "You do what you need to, but if he starts using that column of his to
rant about how evil we all are one more time, I'm gonna fly out there and punch
the son-of-a-bitch right in the teeth. Bothering your son, and cornering my
family on the street is inexcusab-- " Another pause, this one only a few
seconds before Nick jumped back in angrily with, "Well, then he's not a
reporter! He's just a creep milking his brother's death and using it as an
excuse to make us all look bad. Digging up stuff like this and printing it is
one step away from-- "
 
Lex sighed and leaned his head on his hand, getting tired and dizzy from
watching Nick argue with Jameson. He didn't think it was a good sign when
lawyers working for the same client started yelling at each other over the
phone. He wondered if they'd bill for this, for the roughly 45 minutes they'd
been on the phone to each other. Then again, Burton Fallin, Nick's penitent
father, was the one volunteering to foot the bill, so Lex supposed it really
shouldn't make a difference.
 
Except when it involved Thom Aerson splashing all their family secrets across
the so-called 'papers.' They all knew it was the man's way of getting back at
Lex for involving Chance in the huge mess their lives had become, and
inadvertently getting him killed, but no one wanted to actually contact the
leech and call him on it. Well, except Bruce and Nick. Bruce said everything
Aerson had written about him was actually to his benefit -- keeping Bruce Wayne
as far away from Batman in the people's minds as possible. But Bruce was
protective of those he considered his family, his friends. He wouldn't stand
for anyone bad-mouthing them.
 
And Nick?
 
Well, he just seemed to be spoiling for a fight these days, so Lex guessed Thom
Aerson was as good a target as any. Evidently, Nick and Burton were on the outs
with each other -- Bruce had said it was a disagreement about something to do
with the treatment of a relative's mental illness. Nick's cousin, or something,
had been recently institutionalized and Burton was demanding Nick give up his
guardianship of the boy. Lex wondered just how old Nick's cousin was, but knew
it wasn't any of his business. Though the fact that Aerson had tried to
'interview' the kid probably did make it somewhat Lex's fault that Burton was
insisting on having Jeremy Hetherington moved to a different facility. Nothing
like a rude, unethical reporter breaking in to see your unstable, schizophrenic
relative to make a guy paranoid and defensive.
 
Lex was laying odds on Nick winning, though. Guy was stubborn as all hell, as
proved by the fact that he was still alive. And that he evidently had coaxed
Jameson into filing a restraining order against Thom Aerson.
 
Lex looked back over at Nick, no longer pacing his way back and forth across
Bruce's office, and saw a big, shit-eating grin plastered on his face.
 
"No, I know someone," he said into the phone, still smirking and looking
pleased with himself. "I'll contact him and tell him you're interested in
filing. Someone'll be by in the next couple of days, I would think." He paused
a moment, then nodded and said, "Yeah, have Raisa do it then."
 
A few minutes later, and Nick was finally off the phone, looking much more
serious than he had a moment ago. Lex raised an eyebrow at him, and Nick just
grimaced.
 
"So he's going to?" Lex asked.
 
"Yeah," Nick answered, walking closer and taking a seat in the chair next to
him. "I really think this is the best thing to do, Lex. This guy, he's not just
working a story. He's out there harassing anyone even remotely connected to all
of us -- our families, our business colleagues and coworkers. Yesterday," he
said, looking at Lex head-on. "One of Aerson's goons stopped Lulu on the street
and kept asking her how she felt to have the child of a murderer in her arms."
At Lex's face, Nick clarified. "She had our daughter with her, Lex. He was
calling me a murderer and shoving a tape recorder in her face, right on the
street!"
 
Lex shook his head and sighed. "Why is he doing this?" he asked rhetorically.
"Going after me -- after Lin and Lian and me. . . that, I can kind of
understand." Nick scoffed, but Lex just raised a hand, forestalling any
argument the man was about to make. "But why bring you guys into it? That whole
thing with Jameson's son and his ex-wife? Doesn't that just make Aerson look
bad? That's not hunting down the truth. That's just destroying people's lives!"
 
"Which is why," Nick jumped in, and Lex groaned as he heard the beginning of
another argument, "you should file a restraining order, too. For all of you,"
he amended. "Lex, he's not going to stop. This is just the tip of the iceberg.
Think of what he could print about you, about Colin and Julian, if he wanted."
Lex paled, his mind jumping to all the things they hadn't seen yet in the man's
column. "And none of it would even have to be true!" Nick said. "By the time
you filed for libel, it'd already be out there," and he waved his arm around.
"In the public's mind, and now suddenly you're being thought of as the bad guy
and Thom Aerson and his disciples are just devoted news hounds, trying to bring
the truth to light, and yada, yada, yada."
 
"Is he trying to make us look bad just for Chance's sake?" Lex asked, an idea
suddenly taking shape in his mind. "Or is it-- you don't think he's. . .
working for Lionel, do you?" It didn't seem truly plausible, but at this point
Lex was considering every angle, no matter how far-fetched or incredulous.
 
Nick started shaking his head halfway through, and when Lex was done, said,
"No. No, I think he's just an asshole looking for a crusade. And instead of
channeling all that rage and want for revenge towards the guilty party, the
moron's actually making it harder for us." Nick leveled his gaze on Lex and
said, "People aren't clamoring for Lionel's blood anymore, Lex. They're being
distracted by all this crap Aerson's spewing, and they're. . . "
 
"They're, what?" Lex prompted Nick's hesitation.
 
"They're starting to turn against you," he finished apologetically.
 
"Me?" Lex asked incredulously. He got to his feet and started pacing across the
floor. "But I haven't done anything! Lionel's a fucking pedophile, and people
are saying I'm the bad guy?!"
 
"I didn't say it was rational," Nick replied. "Just that that's what's going
on. What Aerson's trying to do. He thinks you got his brother killed, and now
he's trying to bring you down. That's all there is to it."
 
"File the fucking restraining order, then," Lex growled. "For all the good
it'll do us." He felt like hitting something, hard, and wondered where Bruce
kept his punching bags. Maybe he could find a picture of Thom Aerson's face and
tape it to a bag. Maybe pummeling the guy in his mind, till his knuckles were
raw and bloody, would kill the urge Lex felt to track down the guy and beat him
for real.
 
Taking a deep breath, he now knew how Bruce and Nick felt when they went on
about calling Aerson out in the public forum.
 
Lex was trying to do the right thing, had done, to a certain extent, and now he
was being punished for it? And not just him, either. Jameson, Nick, Bruce, even
Lin and Lian were being targeted and written about. Suddenly, from being seen
as sympathetic, now they were viewed as having gotten what they deserved,
though how anyone could think of Lin or Lian as, in any way, shape, or form,
guilty, Lex would never know. Julian was two weeks shy of being just nine years
old, and Lin. . .
 
Well, no matter who you were, no child ever deserved what had happened to Lin.
Nothing a kid could do would ever merit that kind of treatment by a 'guardian.'
 
It was hard to see any light at the end of this tunnel. Without destroying Thom
Aerson's reputation in return, there was no way out of this situation. Even
then, there would still most likely be some lingering resentment and suspicion
towards them. That doubt would still be there in the back of everyone's minds.
What if it had been true? they'd all think. What if he'd been telling the
truth, and the Luthors had just shut him up like their father was known to do?
 
 
***
 
 
Lex actually read the paper the next day, went through and saw every negative
mention of them and their case. He felt a justifiable rage, reading that
garbage and the way Aerson made everyone look repulsive and selfish.
 
But he also couldn't shake the feeling that, if their positions were reversed,
if something Thom Aerson had done -- deliberately, or not -- had caused one of
his brothers' deaths, Lex would have done the exact same thing.
 
Would, and might, if the man's crusade led to Julian or Lucas being hurt, let
alone killed.
 
And if anything happened to Lin, Lex would murder the bastard in cold blood,
with a smile on his face.
 
So he understood Aerson, to a certain degree, but that didn't mean he wouldn't
fight back. No, he'd promised to look out for his family, and if that meant
stopping Chance's brother from hurting them any more, then that's just what he
would have to do.
 
Sorry, Chance, Lex thought later. He took a drink of his scotch, saying thank
you one last time, before finally accepting that this would get nasty before
the end.
 
And so, even after he'd bought a new phone and changed his number, it came as
no surprise when he woke up one morning to a new voice-mail.
 
Fucker didn't even bother hiding his number or identity, like Lex wouldn't know
who it was, even if he had.
 
It was a text, and Lex could easily picture his father's superior grin as he
typed it.
 
 
"A wise man knows when he has lost, son."
 
 
Lex thought for a moment, then hit 'Reply' and typed his own message back.
 
 
"Then, 'Cry 'Havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war, that this foul deed shall
smell above the earth with carrion men, groaning for burial.'
 
Because you had already lost the moment you laid hands on him."
 
 
Then he pushed 'Send' and snapped the phone shut.
 
 
***
 
 
Afterward, Lex went in search of his brothers. And Bruce.
 
Eventually, he stumbled upon the four of them in Bruce's gym-cum-meditation
room. All four were dressed in sweats, but only Julian and Bruce were on the
mat.
 
"Hold your hands like this," Bruce was saying, reaching forward to adjust the
shape of Lian's fists. "And loosen up your arms. Not so tense."
 
"What's going on?" Lex asked, sidling up to Lin and Lucas. Their eyes were
focused on the other two circling around, but Lin shot Lex a quick glance out
of the corner of his eye.
 
"Bruce is giving Lian some pointers," Lin said cryptically.
 
"You mean teaching him to fight."
 
"Yep," he replied, not even hesitating or looking Lex's way.
 
Lex took a deep breath, then asked, "How long?"
 
Lin's lips quirked up in a humorless smile. "Started just a few minutes ago."
He looked over at Lex. "Lian's idea."
 
Lex grunted, crossing his arms across his chest. "Doesn't surprise me. He's
been talking about it for awhile now."
 
Colin nodded, turning back to watch a now-circling Bruce and Lian. "That he
has," he quietly agreed.
 
During one turn, Bruce looked up and met Lex's eyes across the floor. His face
was blank, though, and Lex didn't feel angry at him at all, anyway. He knew
damn well Bruce hadn't been the one to suggest this, no matter how much he
might have wanted to.
 
No, all Lex could feel at the moment was resigned. And worried. He hoped to God
Lian would never have to use what he was being shown today.
 
But it was always better to be prepared for the worst.
 
 
***
 
 
" . . .and make sure your thumb isn't inside your fist, or you'll break it when
you have to strike."
 
Lian was nodding as he walked beside Bruce off the mat. Both of them were
sweating, though for completely different reasons. Lian wasn't used to moving
like that, and Bruce. . . well, he was still recovering from the wound in his
side.
 
Lex waited for them to come closer, as Lin and Lucas moved to take their place.
 
"Hey, Lex," Lian said hesitantly, looking up at him with wary eyes.
 
"Hey, Kiddo. You learn anything?" he asked.
 
And like a shot, Lian was off. He grinned and started explaining to Lex every
single move Bruce had taught him. It was surreal, and a bit uncomfortable, but
Lex smiled and played along. Bruce stared at him the whole time, disbelieving,
and he took some satisfaction in the fact that he could still surprise the man.
 
In the middle of Lian describing how well Bruce said he'd done on his kicks,
Lex glanced up at the mat and literally gasped aloud. Lian and Bruce then
followed his gaze, and Lex was glad he wasn't the only one shocked into
silence.
 
Lin and Lucas were. . . sparring, he supposed was the word. If that's what
you'd call two fast-moving blurs whirling and dashing around each other. Every
once in awhile, one or both would stop abruptly, often laughing or smiling
before speeding up again.
 
 
"Is that. . . safe?" Lex asked. Lucas apparently had Colin's arms locked behind
his back now, but that didn't seem to be stopping Lin from kicking him.
 
"Well, they don't appear to really be hurting each other, so. . ." Bruce said,
trailing off uncertainly.
 
"Good Lord," Lex muttered. Lin had just executed a back flip, managing to
disable Lucas' grip on his arms and turn the hold around, so that now Lucas was
the one confined. And all of that faster than anything Lex had ever seen,
almost faster than he'd been able to see.
 
And, looking at Bruce and Lian quickly before inevitably turning back, Lex came
to the conclusion that none of them had known this was possible. Lucas was
strong and fast and. . . tough. He was nearly Lin's equal, and standing here,
watching them grapple and throw each other around like dolls, before picking
themselves up and laughing about it all, Lex realized this was Lin's way of
telling them. Of showing them what Lionel's years' worth of experimentations
had accomplished.
 
Lex idly wondered if Lucas had any reaction to the meteor rock. . .
 
. . . then promptly felt disgusted and angry at himself for even thinking like
that.
 
"I didn't know he could do that," Lian whispered. Lex took in the boy's
hunched-in stance and wide eyes, and moved closer to him with barely a thought.
He wrapped his arm around Lian's shoulders and squeezed him gently.
 
When Lian finally looked up at him, Lex said, "Just think, now Lin has someone
who can really keep up with him. Literally."
 
It was a weak attempt, but Lian nodded and managed to scrape up a smile for
him.
 
"Let's just hope they don't damage the foundation of the house," Bruce said in
typical Bruce-style.
 
Lex shot him a look, which the man returned blankly, then called out, "Having
fun, guys?"
 
At which point, the blurs stopped again, and both turned to look at Lex.
 
Lucas was standing with one foot firmly on the floor, and the other in the
middle of Lin's back. Lin was face down on the mat, but had managed to hook an
arm behind Lucas' knee without him noticing. When they stopped their whirlwind
fight, Lin recovered more quickly, taking advantage of the situation and
pulling Lucas' leg forward, causing his knee to buckle and him to fall forward
over Lin.
 
Lex winced when Lucas' face made direct contact with the mat, the muffled cry
bringing back painful memories of his own defeats over the years.
 
Lin slid out from under Lucas' legs, promptly hopping to his feet and offering
a hand down. And with a groan, Lucas grabbed the hand and let himself be pulled
up.
 
"That was sneaky," Lucas said approvingly as they walked together.
 
"We agreed not to hold back," Lin argued, becoming defensive even though Lex
knew Lucas hadn't meant any recrimination by the remark. "You could have got me
back if you'd wanted."
 
The two of them were standing in front of Lex, Lian, and Bruce now, so that
close proximity was probably why Lex was able to catch it. Lucas turned to Lin,
and his expression went from exhaustedly happy to sad and back in the blink of
an eye. Lin must have caught it too because his expression became upset and he
jerked away from Lucas like he'd burned him.
 
"Lin. . ." Lucas started. "There's no shame in it. We were just having fun. I
don't care tha-- "
 
"Shut up," Lin commanded him, his face going pale and shocky.
 
Lucas, meanwhile, was starting to realize he'd made a mistake, and took a few
steps away from Lin with his hands up in plain view. "I just don't know why
you're upset about it," he was saying.
 
"Lin," Lex interrupted. He waited until Lin looked over before asking, "What's
wrong?"
 
"Nothing," was the terse response he got, and Lin turned around and, without
further ado, quickly strode out of the room.
 
 
***
 
 
"How long are you home for?" Colin asked him excitedly. He had one of Lex's
bags and was struggling valiantly to get it up the stairs. He ended up dragging
it, and Lex was glad he'd given him the one full of laundry. . . and not his
comic books.
 
"Three weeks," Lex answered. He looked around the house, and then asked Lin,
"Has Dad left yet?"
 
"Yeah," he said shortly, dropping his head down and really tugging at the bag
in his hands.
 
"Oh, come on!" Lex teased him. "It's not that heavy. You're usually bouncing
off the walls, anyway." He stopped Lin and put a hand to the kid's forehead,
checking to see if he were sick. "You do feel a little warm, Linny. Sure you're
feelin' all right?"
 
"Yeah, I'm fine," Lin told him seriously. Then, with a weak smile, he went back
to struggling with Lex's dirty laundry.
 
Lex floundered around for a few seconds, trying to think of something to say
before inspiration struck. "How's Julian?" he asked. And with that, Lin was off
like a shot, telling him about all the cute little things Lian could do and
say.
 
" . . .and when he saw that picture of you on my bookshelf, guess what he
said!"
 
Lex shook his head and raised his eyebrows, pushing open the door to his room
and stepping back so Lin could finish his trek with his burden.
 
"He said, 'Rex!'" And then Lin started laughing hysterically, dropping the bag
in the middle of the floor and grinning up at Lex.
 
"Like a dog?" Lex asked innocently, at which Lin's smile just grew bigger.
 
"No, like a king!" he insisted, as Lex set the bags he was carrying down on his
bed. He turned around and smiled, and Lin came up to him and wrapped his arms
around his waist.
 
"Can he say your name yet?"
 
Lin brought his head up and looked right into Lex's eyes. "He calls me 'Linny,'
thanks to you."
 
Lex grinned and chuckled at the exasperated look on Lin's little face. "Well,
that is your name."
 
"No, it's not! I hate that nickname," he grumbled, but Lex saw his mouth twitch
and knew he was lying.
 
"Mmmhmm. Sure you do, Champ." Lin punched him in the arm, and Lex danced back,
laughing. "Tiger?" he suggested, as Lin followed him across the room and back
out into the hallway. "Chief?"
 
"No, Lex! My name is LIN!" he cried out with a grin, dashing forward quickly.
And it was all Lex could do to stay just out of his reach until they made it
downstairs to the kitchen.
 
"Aren't you hungry?" Lex asked later at dinner, in between moments of
apparently distracting Lian away from his food.
 
Lin just shrugged in response, and went back to pushing his food around on the
plate.
 
"We could ask Cook to make you something different, if you like," he said.
"Maybe some soup, or something?"
 
"I'm not sick!" Lin shouted from out of nowhere, shocking Lex speechless and
causing little, three-year-old Lian to drop his spoon on the floor.
 
"Lin?" Lex asked gently, waiting until the boy's eyes came up. "What's wrong?"
 
"Nothing," he said abruptly. Then Lin pushed his chair back with a screech and
stalked out of the dining room.
 
Lex was still stunned at Colin's first. . . tantrum ever, that he forgot about
Lian until the boy asked in a quavery little voice, "Linny's mad?"
 
Lex turned his head and took in the wetness of Lian's blue eyes. "Lin's just
sick," he said, and Lian's expression cleared. He picked up his fork, and tried
to finish eating his pudding with it, since his spoon was currently lying on
the floor.
 
Smart Kid.
 
"Lian, does Lin get sick a lot?" he asked, going with the idea that'd just
formed.
 
Little Julian, with pudding all over his face and hands, turned to look at Lex,
and very seriously said, "Daddy makes him sick."
 
 
***
 
 
When Lin didn't turn up for dinner that night, Lex volunteered to go looking
for him. He patted Julian on the head, and grabbed a jacket before heading out
into the snow. His first guess was where he'd found him last time, only this
time he'd be alone, as Lucas was still inside eating.
 
True to form, when Lex got to the end of the stable and pushed open the big
doors to the paddock, he spotted Lin leaning over the fence.
 
"What now?" Lin called out angrily, as Lex tromped closer.
 
"We're having dinner now," he said, "if you're interested."
 
Lin shook his head and his mouth twisted in disgust. "I'm not hungry."
 
"Well, then, do you mind if I join you?" Lin turned to glare at him. "It's a
nice night," Lex went on cheerfully, "a tad brisk, but refreshing,
nonetheless."
 
"What do you want?" Lin whined.
 
Lex angled his body so that he was facing Lin, and stared at his face, gauging
his expression.
 
"I want to know what's going on inside that head of yours," he said bluntly.
And while Lin blinked, surprised, Lex added, "and what made you angry this
afternoon, after you were so happy."
 
"I wasn't happy," he grumbled.
 
Lex rolled his eyes. "Oh, excuse me for confusing laughing and smiling with
happiness. I shall never make that mistake again." He jostled Lin's shoulder
with his own. "Come on, Linny, what the hell happened back there?"
 
Lin jerked his head to the side, eyes wide as he stared at Lex in confusion and
shock.
 
"What'd you say?" he whispered.
 
"That I'd never confuse your smiling with happi-- ?"
 
"No," Lin interrupted impatiently, "you called me Linny."
 
Running back over what he'd said, Lex realized he had. "Yeah," he agreed. "So I
did." Raising his eyebrows in question, Lex then waited for Lin to explain why
that was so important and startling.
 
"You haven't called me that in years," Lin told him. "Not since I was little."
 
"So?" At Lin's frustrated expression, Lex sighed and said, "Look, I don't see
why me using an old nickname is so shocking. Or what this has to do with why
you were so. . . weird earlier."
 
Lin turned his head away and took to looking out at the vastly sprawling Wayne
property.
 
"It's not-- just forget it, Lex," he finally said in a quiet voice. "It's not
even a big deal."
 
"Bullshit," Lex said frankly. Lin's frown deepened, but Lex ploughed through.
"If it weren't a big deal, you'd be inside eating, instead of out here. . .
brooding."
 
"I'm not broodin-- !"
 
"Oh, yes you are!" Lex said, cutting him off.
 
Lin shifted and ended up facing Lex directly, his face as angry and upset as it
had been this afternoon in the gym.
 
"So?" he said in a mocking voice, throwing Lex's response earlier back into his
face. "Why does that necessarily make it any of your business? Can't a guy
brood in peace around here?" Lin's face turned smug and nasty, and he said, "I
bet you don't force Bruce to talk about his feelings."
 
"What I do and do not force Bruce to do is beside the point," Lex said, and Lin
sneered at him. "What I ask of you is that you're honest with me, and saying
nothing is wrong, or shrugging off my concern is not being honest, Linny."
 
Colin's eyes widened briefly before his shoulders sagged and he lowered his
head.
 
They were both silent for a moment, then Lex bit the bullet.
 
"So, what the hell did Lucas say that made you so mad? And if you say
'nothing,' I swear to God I'm gonna sick Julian on you."
 
The corner of Lin's mouth twitched, but he kept his eyes down and his face
blank. Just as Lex was about to give up and just walk back inside, Lin spoke.
 
"Are you ever afraid of-- of turning into. . . him?"
 
Lex took a deep breath, shifting again so he, too, was looking out at the
grounds and not focused so intently on Lin.
 
"Yes," he replied truthfully, and felt Lin hunch into himself even more. "Every
other minute of every damn day, I think about that."
 
Lin's head started nodding frantically, and he made a choking noise. Lex turned
at once and grabbed him by the shoulders.
 
"You're so fucking stupid sometimes," Lex said, which earned a startled bark of
laughter from Lin. Lex went over what Lucas and Lin had said to each other
after the match, and guessed aloud, "Because he called you sneaky?"
 
Lin blinked a couple of times, trying to keep the tears from falling, and Lex
felt like smacking him upside the head.
 
"You're not Dad," Lex told him loudly, even shaking him a little to get the
point across. "Sure, you're clever and your last name is Luthor, but, Lin,
that's where the similarity ends." Colin met his eyes for a second before
jerking them away again, but Lex knew he'd heard him. "You're nothing like him,
and just the fact that you're freaking out worrying about turning into him
proves that."
 
"It's hard to turn it off," Lin whispered, and Lex blinked a few more times
than strictly necessary himself.
 
"I know," he said, catching Lin's eyes and forcing them to stay on him through
sheer force of will. "But you're a good man, and he's not even human."
 
Lin laughed bitterly, a tearing, painful sound. "Neither am I!" he said.
 
But Lex just grabbed that face and told him the truth.
 
"You're so fucking stupid sometimes, Lin," he repeated. "See, I love you," Lex
said, watching Lin's eyes go wide. "And I don't love him. And that's the
difference.
 
"Because you're a good human being, and he's nothing but a fucking snake."
 
 
***
 
 
It was amazing how. . . utterly quiet this house was at night. Lex could wander
down random hallways, for hours, and neither hear nor see another living soul.
 
Well, unless he happened by the second floor bedrooms.
 
With Bruce out, and the constant worry that the man was going to get hurt again
gnawing at him, Lex couldn't sleep. So he took to walking around the manor in
the middle of the night. His favorite spot was the sunroom, oddly enough. But,
at night, instead of beams of sunlight, there was the glow of the moon. Instead
of a blue sky overhead, thousands of stars shone through the glass ceiling. Lin
spent endless amounts of time in here, and outside on the grounds, during the
day, but this place had become Lex's sanctuary once the sun set.
 
And he had much to think about: Bruce "going back to work," Lucas' abilities
and intelligence, the therapy sessions they'd resumed once again, and the way
Lian was gradually becoming quieter and quieter, more withdrawn.
 
On his way back upstairs each night, Lex necessarily had to pass the second
floor. It was just a quick few steps from the main staircase to the private one
that went up to the upper levels of the house, but it was enough most nights.
Lian was a quiet sleeper, always had been. He didn't snore or talk in his
sleep.
 
Lin, on the other hand, was anything but quiet. Screaming, sometimes, calling
out and shouting, others, Lin could be heard down on the first floor when he
woke from a nightmare. Or night terrors, as Daniel insisted they call them. Lex
for once didn't care what the hell they were. He just wanted Lin to stop having
them. Having the memories was too much already. Why did he have to relive them
in his sleep, too?
 
He never knew what to do when they started, though. Standing in the hall and
praying to a god he didn't believe in seemed to be the routine he was fast
setting, but there had to be a better way. He hadn't even been aware that Lucas
and Lin slept in the same bed till a week ago. During one of his midnight
sojourns, Lex had heard Lin screaming and had rushed up to find. . . Lucas,
under the covers, trying to restrain Lin from hurting himself.
 
Colin, it seemed, could inflict physical damage to himself. He could scratch
his skin bloody with his own nails, pull out his hair, and bruise himself. . .
all while unconscious. At least, Lex hoped it was only when he was sleeping.
 
But after that first night of hearing him call out, and seeing Lucas there to
comfort and protect him, Lex never went into their room again. When Lin started
screaming and moaning, he'd go up there of course. Lex made it a point to
always stick close to the main stairwell for the first few hours after Lin went
to bed. That's when he'd have the night terrors, and even if he couldn't do
anything to stop them, he wanted to be there.
 
For Colin. He owed it to him to see. Enough looking away. If Lin had to go
through them, then Lex would have to watch them.
 
 
***
 
 
"You're looking chipper this morning," Lex said, brushing past Bruce on his way
to the coffee.
 
Bruce just shrugged and took a sip from his own mug. "Had a. . . productive
night."
 
"I'll bet." Lex glanced at the headline of the Gotham Globe, the paper lying on
the kitchen island and obviously having been read once already.
 
"So what'd you do last night?" Bruce asked, settling back against one of the
counters and giving Lex that pleasantly interested expression of his.
 
"Oh, same old, same old." He set the coffee carafe back down and perched on one
of the stools nearby. Cracking his neck and then taking a swallow of hot, black
coffee, Lex felt better immediately. He glanced at Bruce, and lifted an
eyebrow. "What?" he asked, in response to the muted look of worry covering
Bruce's face.
 
"Maybe you should ask Tucker for something," Bruce said, dropping his eyes and
taking another drink of his coffee.
 
"Daniel?" Lex repeated in confusion. "What the-- why would I do that?"
 
"You're not sleeping," he answered. Then with a wave of his hand, Bruce said,
"You just wander around the place looking tired and worn out." Lex made a face
at him -- Bruce and his spying, obsessive, controlling ways -- and Bruce sighed
loudly in apparent frustration. "He's your therapist, Lex. If you can't sleep,
he's supposed to help you figure out why and treat you. That's his job."
 
"He's not my therapist," Lex argued. "Daniel is Lin's, and Julian's. I just go
for them. And I don't appreciate being under surveillance. If you want to know
something, ask, Bruce. But don't go around taping me and then confronting me
with whatever it is you think I'm doing wrong."
 
Bruce just shook his head and brought the mug back up to his mouth. Lex was
about to call him out again, but the kitchen door flung open and Lex was face
to face with his insomnia.
 
"Hey," Lin said, shuffling in and dropping down onto one of the chairs at the
table.
 
"Hey, yourself," Lex replied. "You and Alfred going today?"
 
Lin nodded. "Yeah, he said Nick called him last night." He shrugged, and said,
"Guess Jameson knows someone who found the records. He faxed them over to Nick
yesterday, and. . . that's that, I guess."
 
"Your birth certificate?" Bruce guessed.
 
"Yeah. To get my license," he explained. "I need that or an Adoption Order."
Lin shrugged again, and dropped his eyes down to where his hands were fiddling
on the table top.
 
"What's the date on the certificate?" Lex asked. He felt tense and uneasy, and
had no idea why. It just felt like. . . bad news was coming.
 
Lin raised his head, and Lex didn't like the look on his face one bit.
 
"October 20th," he replied, "1986."
 
When both Bruce and Lin's face turned worried, Lex realized he'd been laughing.
 
"Nice touch, nice touch," Lex muttered to himself. He met Lin's eyes and said,
"So you're 15, eh? Who'd he put down as your parents?"
 
Lin frowned. "I didn't know them. Neither of the names were familiar."
 
"Probably just made them up," Lex guessed. "Wouldn't surprise me. He made
everything else up."
 
"Kind of risky, though," Bruce said. "To put your birthday down as the same day
of the meteor shower. Almost like he was. . . saying something with it."
 
"To whom?" Lex asked, bewildered. "More likely, he thought it fitting and
appropriate. And funny as hell." He looked back at Lin. "To put down the almost
absolute truth, and know no one would ever get it."
 
"Yeah, well, I'm just glad Jameson got a hold of it," Lin said. "Kinda hard to
ever do anything, if there's no record of me even existing."
 
 
***
 
 
Later, after Lin and Alfred left for the DMV, Lex decided to spend some time
with Lian. He went up to the library and, after knocking on the door, stepped
inside. Both Liza and Lian looked up at him, and Lex smiled.
 
"I was wondering if I could borrow Lian for an hour or two," he said, looking
at Liza.
 
She turned to Lian and said, without looking at Lex, "I think that's a good
idea. We were just about to break anyway. Julian, why don't you let me look
over your essay for you, while you and your brother go and get some air?"
 
Lian just pushed his notebook towards her without a word, then got up and
walked over to Lex. His face was blank and yet vaguely angry, it seemed, and
Lex had the sinking feeling this talk was long overdue.
 
He stepped back and let Lian pass through the doorway first. With one last
smile at Liza, Lex then followed the boy out into the hall. They started down
the hall and then Lex steered them to the staircase.
 
"I thought we'd go riding, if that's okay?" he asked, taking the first step
down. Julian didn't follow him, though, so Lex turned around to face him.
"Lian?"
 
The kid was biting his lip and wouldn't meet Lex's eyes.
 
"I don't want to go riding," he said oh-so-quietly. "Can we-- can we go to the
gym, instead? Please?"
 
That was fear on his face, Lex realized. Reality snapped back into place, and
he moved closer to Lian, putting his hands around the boy's shoulders and
bending down to his eye-level.
 
"Of course we can, Kiddo." Not knowing what else to do, Lex wrapped him up in a
hug and squeezed tightly. Lian was so tiny, so small and. . . fragile. "All you
have to do is ask," Lex whispered into his ear.
 
Suddenly, Lian was squeezing him back and shaking. Lex took a deep breath then
simply picked him up, taking him over to one of the small sofas that lined the
upstairs hallway like wallpaper.
 
He set him down and then dropped next to him, putting his arm back around the
kid's shoulders.
 
"Hey, what's the matter?" he asked, wiping the tears from Lian's face and
making sure he couldn't turn away. "What's wrong?"
 
" 'm such a baby," Lian muttered, his cheeks going red in embarrassment.
 
"No, you're not," Lex said, his voice colder than he'd meant it to be. "You're
allowed to cry. There's no shame in it, okay?"
 
Julian met his eyes and Lex recognized that stubborn set to his jaw, that spark
in his eyes. It was strange watching Lian grow up, catching bits of their
mother. . .  and father. . . in his face, and yet somehow seeing him only as
himself. Julian Rei Luthor. Wonderful Kid.
 
"You never do," Lian accused him, jerking Lex back to the conversation. He
frowned and Julian said, "You never ever cry. I've never seen you do it."
 
"Habit, I guess," he flung out there, but Julian wasn't biting. Lex sighed and
tried again. "It is okay to cry. I just-- I was never told that, and it's. . .
hard for me. To cry."
 
Lex felt like a fool. He turned his head and looked out over the vast foyer.
They were sitting just off to the side of the huge main staircase, and the view
of the entryway from here was amazing. They sat like that for awhile, until Lex
heard a quiet rustling and felt a hand slide into his. He looked over at Lian,
and the kid tried to smile at him.
 
"It's okay to cry, Lex," Julian said, and damned if Lex's eyes didn't prickle.
"Mom would've told you that, if she could have. She probably just thought you'd
figure it out yourself."
 
Lex felt his mouth hanging open, and shut it, his eyes still glued to Lian in
sheer wonder. Where the hell had this come from?
 
"But you're kinda stupid sometimes," Lian was saying. Then, he added hastily,
"I mean, you get sidetracked and-- and you have, um, blind spots?" He grabbed
Lex's other hand and said, "You tell us stuff all the time, but you don't feel
it. Not really." Lian dropped his head, fumbling around for what to say, but
then it snapped up again. "Like Bruce," he said.
 
"What?" Lex said blankly.
 
"You think it's different for you," Lian told him. "Like Bruce does, but that's
not true. He could cry, too. Lin does. He cries and he doesn't even get
embarrassed about it."
 
"Yeah, well, Lin's a hell of a lot smarter than I am," Lex said, smiling
slightly at the memory of their conversation the other night -- where Lex had
told him he was stupid sometimes. "What can I say? Sometimes it is different."
 
"Not this time," Lian argued. "You cry next time you feel like it, and no one
will say anything. You'll see."
 
"I know that. It's just. . . "
 
"Lionel told you not to."
 
Lex closed his eyes at the hatred in Julian's voice.
 
"He told me not to, too," Lian went on. "But. . . "
 
"But, what?"
 
"I think he was wrong about a lot of stuff. I don't think-- I don't care what
he said anymore."
 
His hands were still held by Lian, and Lex shifted so he could catch the kid's
eyes again.
 
"Then you're just as smart as Lin," Lex told him, and Julian smiled.
 
 
***
 
 
Lex and Lian were still in the gym when Lin came bursting in. Lex stopped
Lian's Muay Thai-style kick with a wave of his arm, and turned to face the
door.
 
"So?" he asked, as Lin started coming closer. "How'd it go?"
 
Lin's expression stayed blank, until he stepped on the mat, and then he smiled.
Lex smiled in reaction, too, and Julian literally squealed before jumping
forward and plastering himself up against Lin.
 
"I knew you'd do it!" Lian crowed, and Lex just laughed at the two of them. Lin
smiled down at his brother, then started turning them around, spinning so fast
Julian's legs swirled out and he cried out in delight. "Lin! Lin!" Lian
laughed, and Colin laughed, too.
 
Lex smiled at them, at the picture they made.
 
Just two kids, having fun and celebrating a Learner's Permit.
 
 
***
 
 
"Congratulations, Lin," Lex said, as they all walked together. Lex had proposed
asking Alfred for a celebratory dinner, and Lin told him the man had already
beaten him to the punch.
 
"We should help!" Lian exclaimed, almost bouncing up and down in his
excitement. "I'm good at helping!"
 
"I'll bet you are," Lex said, and Lian stuck his tongue out at him. "Come on,
you. Show me how to help. I don't think I've ever done that. . ."
 
"Not with cooking! You can't even make toast!"
 
"Oh, really?" Lex asked. "You think so, huh?" And Lian nodded with a grin.
"Well, I'll have you know I make a mean piece of toast. You haven't lived until
you've had a piece of my toast!"
 
Lian's nose wrinkled, but it was Lin's loud bark of laughter that made Lex
smile in accomplishment. He looked over and Lin's face was a mixture of
hilarity, disbelief, and. . .
 
Love.
 
"Where's Lucky?" Lin suddenly asked, turning his head away and breaking the
tension between them. "He wasn't in his room. . ."
 
"I don't know," Lex said. "Earlier, he told me was going to read in the
sunroom. He wasn't there?"
 
Lin shook his head with a frown.
 
"Maybe outside then?" Lex suggested.
 
Lin made a sound in his throat before shaking his head again.
 
"What?" Lex asked, moving his hand up to Julian's head and ruffling the boy's
curls until he got a swat from him. "Lin."
 
"It's nothing," Lin said, but Lex just looked at him in disbelief. "Fine!" he
exclaimed, but with a slight smile, so Lex knew he wasn't bothered or annoyed
by the pestering. They were nearing the kitchen, and Lin stopped in the
hallway, waiting for Lex and Lian to, as well. He sighed, and then  met Lex's
eyes, saying, "He doesn't like going outside, gets pretty, uh, freaked out when
I ask him lately. I think. . ." He paused, and rubbed at the back of his neck
with his hand. "I think he's maybe agoraphobic."
 
"Well," Lex said, at a loss as to what to say. "So he'll be somewhere around
here then."
 
"Yeah," Lin agreed. "But he's not on the main floor. I've checked."
 
"So, uh, why don't you and I look for him, and, Lian?" Lex looked down, and
Lian started nodding before he even started.
 
"I'll help Alfred," he said. "Then you can come and see how it's done when
you've found Lucky."
 
"'Lucky,' huh?" Lex asked, amused.
 
Lian shrugged. "He asked me to. Cos I told him everyone called me Lian."
 
Lex smiled, not missing the quick flash of happiness on Lin's face.
 
"Off with you then!" he said, reaching out to mess up Julian's hair again. But
the kid was a quick learner. He ducked out of Lex's reach and backpedaled away
from them, grinning in triumph.
 
"Missed me!" he taunted, then darted into the kitchen.
 
Lex smiled again before turning to Lin. "So, upper levels, or lower?"
 
"Upper, I think," Lin replied. "He wouldn't want to bother Bruce. . .
downstairs."
 
"Do you. . . want to 'look?'" Lex asked, pointing to his eye. "Or, do you need
my help going room by room?"
 
"Room by room," Lin said. "I have something to ask you, and--" He nodded his
head towards the door, and when Lex looked, he could indeed see it was ajar.
They had an eavesdropper.
 
"Okay, then," Lex said, and started moving back towards the stairs. When they'd
reached the second floor, he asked, "So, what's up?"
 
"Oh, um, it's about Lian's birthday."
 
"It sure is getting closer," he agreed. Then, thinking about it, "God, it's
less than a week away!"
 
"Yeah. So I. . . got his gift today, and I-- well, I wanted to ask you." Lin
stopped him, turning Lex to face him with a hand on his arm. "Do you think-
- would Lian like the circus?"
 
"You're asking me?"
 
Lin blushed, nodding his head. "It seemed like a good idea, but Alfred said the
circus wasn't for everyone. I thought I'd better get your opinion before giving
him the tickets. Just to be sure."
 
Lex smiled. "I think Lian would love the circus. It'll be good for him, a
little distraction and fantasy. Just what the doctor ordered."
 
Lin breathed out a sigh of relief, his shoulders sagging from the release of
tension. "Good," he said. "Great! I bought plenty, enough so we could all go."
 
They started moving again, one or the other opening a door and peering inside
before resuming the walk.
 
"I can't wait to see Bruce's expression," Lex said, chuckling.
 
"He'll go, right?" Lin asked. "I mean, for Lian's birthday, he'll go."
 
Lex nodded, opening a door to his right and scanning inside before closing it
again. "Yeah, he'll go, but I have no idea what his reaction will be." A
thought occurred to him, and Lex started laughing again. "You know," he said.
"Once we leave the house, it'll be Brucie tagging along. . ." He grinned over
at Lin. "Not Bruce, per se."
 
Lin smiled, too. "Why do you think I got so many tickets?"
 
 
***
 
 
Interrupt
 
 
The Tumbler needed some repairs, so, after cleaning up, he stayed in the cave
and worked. Alfred came down with coffee and toast sometime later, and then
again with soup and a sandwich after that. He set the tray next to the other
one, and Bruce pretended not to see his frown.
 
Finally, when he'd completed the repairs as best he could without taking it in
to Lucius, Bruce looked down at his watch and saw it was past time he got
started for the evening. He put on the suit and cowl again, then started the
Tumbler, almost smiling at how much better it sounded. Once secured, he
accelerated, bursting out through the water and into the night.
 
Someone had been planting bombs around the city, and Batman was going to find
the culprit tonight.
 
For night lasted longer in Gotham, whole days, sometimes.
 
And in a few cases, it was something without end.
 
 
***
 
 
" . . .mmm, hey," Lex murmured sleepily. He rolled over, closer to Bruce's
touch, smiling briefly before reaching a hand up. "Come here," he said a moment
later, his voice clearer and awake at last. Lex's touch on his cheek was more
startling than Bruce thought it should have been. Next thing he knew, he was
lying on his side with warm, heavy arms wrapped around and around him.
 
"You haven't slept in days, Bruce," Lex whispered in his ear. Ten breaths
later, he asked, "Did you do what you needed to?"
 
For now, he thought. Instead, Bruce nodded a yes and closed his eyes for longer
than a second for the first time in three days. Lex sighed, and the breath of
it warmed a small place in Bruce's chest. For now.
 
There were always more bombs to find and deactivate, more people to stop and
restrain. But Lex was soft and hard, careful and everywhere. His presence made
sense of life, more than anything else.
 
Except the night.
 
 
***
 
 
Julian smiled at him the next morning. He was nine years old today, and Bruce
smiled back, knowing this boy's life wasn't set in stone yet. Not like the rest
of them.
 
When Alfred abruptly shoved a plate in front of him, he looked up to see real
anger in the man's eyes for the first time in years. Again, he smiled, watching
Alfred's brow wrinkle even more before he turned away.
 
Liza was gone for the weekend. Again. He suspected there was something wrong
with that, but had promised himself he wouldn't look into it until tomorrow.
Today, all his thoughts were for Julian and his brothers. It would be insulting
to lie to the boy like that, pretend on a day meant only for celebration and
happiness. Brucie could do the one, but he knew he'd have to fake the second.
One lie was okay, he thought.
 
 
***
 
 
The day was full of smiling. Julian laughed. He danced. He hugged them all,
several times over, and opened his presents with unbridled glee. Wrapping
paper, ribbon, boxes, all were scattered around the sunroom like confetti. It
made Bruce's teeth hurt, but he smiled through it.
 
Night eventually came, but Bruce instead donned his costume this time out. Lex
slapped him on the ass when he saw him in jeans, making a comment about how
they even looked pressed. Bruce glanced down at his watch and saw they had
enough time for him to make Lex moan, before leaving for the circus. His jeans
didn't look pressed after that.
 
Colin and Lucas held hands once outside in the night. Lucas was pale and
sweating, but nodded and responded easily enough. Bruce turned his eyes away
and focused on Gotham passing outside the car window.
 
It was loud, crowded, hot in the main tent. They had seats directly in front of
the ring, so close he could see the makeup on the performers' faces. Famous
people sat near and next to them. Some, Bruce knew, others, he only recognized.
Thomas Elliot shook his hand, then introduced himself to Lex when Bruce refused
to do so.
 
The acts were interesting enough, but when the high wires and trapeze began,
Bruce started feeling uneasy. The crowd loved it, though. Even Lex and Colin,
who he knew for a fact were both petrified of heights, smiled and gasped at the
stunts.
 
When the three Graysons swung out, the whole tent broke into applause. The
family was the main attraction, top-billed, in fact. It wasn't hard to see why.
All three moved like birds in flight through the air, the boy no exception. He
couldn't have been much older than Julian, but his body moved in an amazing,
beautiful grotesquery. The three performers twisted and twined around each
other in a dance. At one point, the man gripped the trapeze with the backs of
his knees, then caught the woman's wrists in his hands. While the audience
gasped, the boy then launched himself from the opposite trapeze, falling in an
arc until his hand closed around the woman's ankle. There, he held himself,
one-handed as the crowd thundered and cheered.
 
There was one last stunt after that, the finale, a series of tumbles on the
high wire with the man and woman the sole performers. Bruce watched, that
feeling of unease not lessening at all. He could see the boy on the opposite
platform, watching with narrowed eyes as his parents slowly and artfully came
closer to him.
 
Then there was a sound, snapping and reverberating throughout the tent.
Suddenly, people screamed. The woman to Bruce's right grabbed and clung to his
arm in her shock. Lex tried to get Julian to look away.
 
But all Bruce really saw was that boy on the platform, that look on his face as
his parents fell and died before his eyes.
 
Someone was shaking him, and when he looked, Lex's face was above him. It was
quiet now.
 
"Bruce?" he asked, but Bruce couldn't tell what was wrong with his voice. Lex
looked pained, so Bruce smiled to try and make him feel better.
 
"Don't be afraid," he told Lex, then went back to staring at the now-empty
platform.
 
 
***
 
 
Lex closed the door behind himself, then started off slowly down the hall. Lian
was waiting at the banister of the stairs, a stark lack of expression on his
face Lex found terrifyingly familiar.
 
"How is he?" Lian asked, quietly.
 
Lex came up to him, put an arm around him and pulled his little brother close.
After a minute, he even dropped to his knees, and turned the half-embrace into
a whole body hug. Lian was shaking a little, not so much that you'd notice just
by looking at him, but this close, Lex felt it. Or was that him?
 
"Hard to tell," Lex said. "He's quiet, but then. . . how is that not usual?" He
paused. "Usual," he repeated. After all, tonight had been anything but 'usual.'
At least, Lex hoped this sort of thing wouldn't become the norm of their lives.
There were hardships, yeah. Every single day was practically full of disasters
and pain, but no one usually. . . died. Until tonight.
 
"How are you?" Lex asked, whispering. He drew away just enough to meet Lian's
eyes. "Can I do anything?"
 
Lian quirked his lips in an almost-smile, then shook his head. "They're
downstairs," he said. At Lex's frown, Julian added, "In the kitchen. Lucas made
Lin sit down, and I came up here after he stopped crying."
 
Lex closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Well, at least one of them was
actually dealing with what had happened. Maybe two, since Lucas was down there
with Lin. Lex had always found it hard to keep from crying when someone else
close to him was. Perhaps Lucas was the same. And with how close those two had
become, maybe Lucas would be forced to confront his feelings, too. It wasn't
every day you saw two people die right in front of you. There was bound to be
some grief and shock as a result.
 
Lex caught himself glancing back at the door behind them, and quickly turned
away. He'd come back up later, probably go down with Lian now and ask Alfred if
he wanted to. . . switch places for awhile.
 
He got to his feet, keeping a hand on Lian's back as he guided them to the
stairs and down the steps. When they reached the kitchen, Lex pushed the door
open first before ushering Lian inside.
 
"Hey," Lex greeted Alfred quietly. The older man had been leaning over Lin at
the table, but straightened as Lex and Julian came into the room.
 
"Oh, thank God," Alfred breathed in relief, stepping away from the table. Lian
took his place, immediately shrugging off Lex's hand and wandering over to
embrace Lin. When Alfred came closer, Lex could see the worry in the wrinkles
around his eyes and mouth, in the frown he wore like an old friend. The man
moved right up next to Lex, shifting his body so they could both see the table
easily while talking. "Master Wayne?" Alfred asked lowly.
 
Lex met his eyes. "Staring out the window in the bedroom," he answered. "He
took a shower, but I had to pull him out after about 45 minutes. That's what
took so long." Lex glanced quickly over to the kitchen table before resuming
the eye contact. "I'll stay here with them, but-- "
 
Alfred nodded as Lex trailed off uncertainly. "I'll just go up and see, then,"
he told him. His voice was infinitely calmer than it'd been just a few seconds
prior, and so Lex guessed that something in what he'd said had been good news.
He watched Alfred quietly leave the room before turning and walking over to his
brothers.
 
"Hey," Lex said, crouching beside Lin's chair and setting a hand on his arm in
an effort to see his eyes.
 
It wasn't good. There were tear tracks on his face, but Lin's eyes weren't red
or washed out like Lex had expected. In fact, his expression was the epitome of
blankness, which made Lex sigh in frustration. There was no telling what was
going on in that head of his with no facial indicators. Lin was only
transparent when he allowed himself to be. Otherwise, he was one of the most
inscrutable people Lex had ever known.
 
"How are you feeling?" he asked gently, rubbing Lin's arm and still trying to
pierce that armor of his.
 
"Good luck," came Lucas' voice from across the table. When Lex jerked his head
over, Lucas just stared right back at him and folded his arms across his chest.
 
"What?" Lex asked him.
 
"He's unresponsive -- has been since he sat down." Lucas gestured with one hand
towards Lin's face, before crossing his arms again. "And he won't come back
till he feels differently, so it's no use talking to him."
 
Lex looked back to Lin's face. He was right. Now that he knew what to look for,
Lex recognized the signs. Lin's eyes were wide and glassy, moving around the
room aimlessly. And here he'd just thought Lin was avoiding his gaze. But it
was the hands that clinched it, still and lifeless like they never were. Lin
always fidgeted, tugging at his clothes or making those small movements with
his fingers that Lex suspected was him thinking of drawing. But he wasn't
moving now, wasn't fidgeting, and if it weren't for the steady rise and fall of
his chest, Lex would have felt for a pulse.
 
"Great," he muttered, and with a sigh dropped down to sit on the floor. He
brought his hands up to his face and felt like screaming.
 
There was a screeching sound of chair legs being dragged across the floor, and
then Lian asked, "Did Bruce say anything?"
 
Lex sighed again, tilting his head to each side and cracking his neck loudly.
He stretched out his legs and braced himself by putting his hands flat on the
floor behind himself and locking his arms. "He didn't say one single word," Lex
finally answered, his eyes on Colin.
 
"Nothing?" Lian repeated incredulously. "But he was so-- so. . . weird on the
ride home. I figured he'd-- "
 
"Where are his parents?"
 
Lex turned his head at Lucas' question. "Bruce's?" he asked tiredly.
 
Lucas nodded.
 
"They're dead," he told him. "Were shot in an alley when Bruce was eight."
 
Lucas looked away for a moment, before meeting Lex's eyes again dead-on. "Was
he there?"
 
"Yes," Lex breathed, understanding now.
 
They were all silent until Lian quietly said, "I didn't know that."
 
Lex looked at him, surprised. "I'm-- I'm sorry," he apologized uneasily. "I
thought. . . everyone did."
 
Lian just shrugged, a smile flickering briefly on his face before vanishing.
"It's okay," he said. "No one ever tells me anything. Just means I have to work
harder to find out stuff." He smiled again.
 
Lex suddenly smiled too. "Like a real spy," he teased.
 
"What's going to happen to that boy?" Lucas asked suddenly. His voice sounded
unsteady, worried. Lex thought it was probably the most feeling he'd ever
witnessed in the kid.
 
"Unless a family member or someone from the circus gets custody, I imagine
he'll be put into foster care," Lex answered. He shook his head, turning back
to stare at Lin's profile above him. "Hell of a life to have to leave behind."
 
And then he felt it, like the air had solidified somehow and become impossible
to breathe. Lin turned his head and looked right into Lex's eyes.
 
"He won't forget," he said, his face becoming sad and wistful. "You never
forget the ones who love you."
 
Lex supposed that was true. And if anyone knew, it would be Lin.
 
 
***
 
 
Interrupt
 
 
He sent flowers in their name.
 
 
'Our sincerest condolences for your loss.
 
Chance will be greatly missed.
 
--Alexander, Colin, and Julian Luthor, and Lucas Dunleavy.'
 
 
He imagined Chance's brother, Thom, wouldn't hesitate to hurl the lilies at the
nearest wall, but that didn't matter in the end. He'd acknowledged the fact
that they were somehow connected to Chance, that they had known him. The
gesture would certainly anger Thom Aerson, but he maintained a small hope that,
to Chance's parents, it might serve as some sort of explanation for his murder.
'He helped us,' Lin wanted to write. 'He saved us, and you will never know how
sorry I am that I couldn't save him.'
 
The card itself had been tricky. He'd spent hours trying to figure out the
right words, only to become frustrated when he went to sign the damn thing. Did
he use their nicknames? It might sound too informal, maybe even insulting, but,
then, those were what they most often responded to. Chance had called him Lin,
not Colin. He'd said Lex, not Alexander. He signed everything important Colin,
though, and their full names looked more mature and respectful, all lined up
and symmetrical. Except Lucas'.
 
In the end, he told the truth, and called it a day. He didn't tell all the
truth by any means, but then, he doubted they'd even read it. The more he
thought about it, the more pointless it all seemed. He'd sent flowers to the
family of the man his father'd had murdered. Probably an insensitive and
egotistical thing to do.
 
Lin wondered if Lionel had sent flowers. He wouldn't put it past him.
 
The two of them often thought alike.
 
 
***
 
 
When he woke up, it was still dark outside. Lin glanced at the little digital
clock on his side of the bed. 2:43, it glowed. With a sigh, he pushed the
covers back and got out of bed. Lucas was still asleep, so Lin made sure to
move quietly.
 
He gently shut the door again on his way out, then walked over to the stairwell
and started down.
 
Lin was halfway between thinking of Chance, and contemplating why he couldn't
get the colors right in that cityscape painting, when suddenly he looked up and
there was Lex right in front of him.
 
"Jesus!" Lin exclaimed.
 
Lex just raised a brow, his eyes somewhat glassy and half-lidded.
 
"Did I startle you?" he asked redundantly.
 
"What are you doing up?" Lin asked instead, moving closer and gesturing for Lex
to come with him. "I was gonna get something to eat, if you want to join me?"
 
Lex nodded, but stayed silent. He followed behind Lin like a docile little
puppy, and it was freaking him out.
 
When they got to the kitchen door, Lin pushed it in with his arm but scrunched
back against the frame to let Lex pass through first. Sure enough, when he
glanced down at Lex's hands, he saw the left one clenched into a fist at his
side.
 
"Grab a seat," Lin said as he strode over to the freezer. "Which do you prefer,
chocolate or. . . some kind of cherry-thing?"
 
"Is there any coffee on?"
 
Lin ducked back out from behind the freezer door and met Lex's eyes across the
room. No way in hell was he going to let that man drink any more caffeine
tonight. Or tomorrow. In fact, Lin was pretty sure Lex had consumed more than
the recommended monthly amount of caffeine over the past few days. The dark
circles under his eyes had dark circles.
 
"What's wrong?" Lin demanded, pushing the door shut with a whoompf. He slowly
closed the space between them until he was standing right in front of Lex, then
crossed his arms over his chest and tried to look intimidating.
 
"Nothing," Lex replied in a dead voice, but his eyes widened ever so slightly
when Lin glared at him. "Just haven't been sleeping well."
 
"And coffee's going to help, is it?" At least he got a sheepish look at that,
but Lex was still closed-off and stubborn. Lin sighed and dropped into the
chair next to him, rubbing his hands over his face and pushing his hair back.
 
It was times like this when he missed his hair. There were few things more
satisfying than just reaching back in frustration, grabbing a handful of hair,
and yanking.
 
"What are you doing, Lex?" Lin finally dared. He said it quietly and kept his
eyes on the table before them, but every once in awhile he'd sneak a quick
glance at Lex's hands. After about a minute of silence, the left one slowly
uncurled and Lex took in a deep breath.
 
He let it out in a gust, setting his elbows on the table and resting his face
in his hands. Lex's voice was muffled when he said, "I have no fucking clue."
 
Lin couldn't help it. He snorted in amusement at Lex saying 'fuck' and when he
met those eyes across the way, glaring at him in confusion and suspicion, the
snort became a chortle. He felt eight years old again, laughing with Lex as
they made up new words to curse and swear with.
 
The laughter eventually died in his throat, and Lin had to blink a couple of
times when he was done to make sure the expression on Lex's face was. . . real.
 
They were both quiet for a moment, quiet but peaceful maybe. At least Lin was.
And Lex looked it.
 
"So," Lex said, breaking the silence. "Let's try some of that cherry stuff,
huh?" Lin smiled at him a little, and Lex kept going. "Where do you think
Alfred keeps the sprinkles and nuts?"
 
Lin got up, slowly retracing his steps back to the freezer.
 
"I don't know, Lex. You might just have to make do with only sprinkles."
 
They looked at each other for a few seconds, then like clockwork burst out
laughing at the familiar in-joke. Lin made up two bowls, scrounging and
surveying the various cupboards until he came up with both chopped peanuts and
chocolate sprinkles. Bringing everything to the table was like juggling eggs,
and the whole time Lex was looking at him with a small smile on his face.
 
Lin had just stuck another spoonful of ice cream in his mouth when Lex asked,
"Does Lian put anything on his?"
 
Swallowing that mouthful felt oddly uncomfortable, like breaking some taboo,
and meeting Lex's eyes was hard.
 
"What?" Lin coughed out, the ice cream sticking in his throat and nothing else.
Shaking his head, he put his spoon gently in his bowl. "Um, yeah. He. . . likes
chocolate syrup, actually," he confided, looking at his and Lex's preferred
toppings, then raising his eyebrows significantly.
 
Lex swallowed hard and looked down at his bowl for a moment, then scooped up
some more ice cream.
 
And that was when it hit him: Lex hadn't known. He hadn't known what Lian liked
on his ice cream, hadn't realized that sometimes the little habits their
brother had were the exact same ones their mother'd had also. Like putting
chocolate syrup on practically everything, or refusing to eat asparagus or
onions, or rubbing their hands together quickly when they got excited about
something. Lex had missed all that with Julian.
 
Lin tried sometimes to really be like them. For a month, two years ago, he'd
tried to write like she had, make his letters all long and looping and
graceful. Later, he'd tried brushing his hair for a while the way he remembered
her doing it. The look on Lionel's face when he'd seen was more than enough
reason to stop, though.
 
It was always the little things that tripped him up, that made him stand out.
Sometimes he got this. . . feeling, like he wasn't doing something. Like he'd
forgotten. It was worse now than it had been ba-- back in Metropolis.
 
But when they'd rescued Lucky, when he'd helped Tim Drake. . . everything fell
into place. He felt like a liar now though. The Graysons had died, and he was
still amazed when yet another second passed with no one pointing out the fact
that he could have easily saved them.
 
He wanted to do good. He wanted to make things right and help. He felt it, in
his bones, in his. . . soul, if such a thing existed. If he had one. And he did
try so hard.
 
He'd make it better. Things had happened, and he didn't think he'd had any
control over how events had played out, but. . .
 
People had died because of him, Before, and now it was starting to happen
again.
 
He felt things. He cried and laughed and loved. He did try, all the time, to be
good and not evil.
 
He wasn't a monster.
 
He wasn't.
 
 
***
 
 
Bruce wasn't in tonight, so he felt okay guiding Lex to bed. It would have been
too awkward if he were there in the bed, staring back at Lin as he pushed Lex
under the covers and told him to just get some sleep already.
 
Bruce saw too much, but you could never really see into him. He wore too many
masks, hung up too many mirrors in himself. Lin wondered what Bruce thought
about him, wondered, when things someday got out of hand, if Bruce would be the
one to stop him. Bruce or Lucky.
 
"Now close your eyes and lie there till eight," he told Lex, pulling the sheet,
blanket and comforter up over his shoulders. "You look like a zombie."
 
"Such sweet things you say," Lex murmured, his eyes already shut. He turned on
his side and drew his legs up, and Lin took a careful breath before leaving the
room. Most people, he'd read, look younger when they're asleep. Lucky did, as
well as Julian. Lex just then had looked about 12.
 
Bruce was the only person Lin knew who actually looked years older when he
slept.
 
He went into the entertainment room and turned on the radio. Leaving it low,
Lin messed with the dial until he came to a station playing classical.
 
Mozart, at first, but soon Beethoven came on.
 
Lione-- he'd. . . Lionel always played Beethoven when he was in a mood. Angry,
satisfied, depressed, horny, Beethoven worked for all and sundry emotions. Lin
used to hate that music, no matter how beautiful it was. A few months back, in
September, he'd cut his arms all up to hell on their bed while blasting
Beethoven's Symphony No. Seven in A Major. He'd made it through the Poco
sostenuto. Vivace just fine, but once it moved into the Allegretto he'd started
to feel dizzy.
 
One of the maids had stumbled in with fresh lilies just as the Second Movement
ended, and Lin remembered passing out to the sight of her aghast face. She'd
dropped the lilies on the floor, but there had been a lot of blood.
 
The symphony playing wasn't the 'Seventh' -- it was the 'Fifth' maybe, the one
in C minor, anyway -- but there was a piano just down the hall. Everyone was
upstairs, or out, in Bruce's case.
 
He could still play; Lillian had taught him. She'd taught Lex, too, but he
never played anymore, at least that Lin knew about.
 
The hallway was deserted and spotless, like a museum that's just about to open
to the public. There weren't very many pictures or paintings on the walls, and
he wondered if that were Bruce's doing or Alfred's. Or Thomas and Martha
Wayne's.
 
He opened the door quietly and just as quietly shut it behind himself. There
was a lock on the door, and he thought about turning it, so as not to get
interrupted should someone hear and come investigating, but decided that would
just be asking for trouble.
 
The piano hadn't been played in a long time, he could tell. It was perfectly in
tune of course, but it just. . . lacked something the old piano in Metropolis
had had. There was no history on its bench or its keys, no sticky pedals or
worn spots. It was a beautiful piece of art, pristine, lovely. Untouchable.
Lonely.
 
It was the perfect piano for Beethoven.
 
Playing was easy if one knew the notes. Once they were a part of a person, so
much so that everything was tinged in polished black and white, then the
emotion came through all on its own.
 
He just had to remember how it felt to be totally alone, and then doing justice
to Beethoven was easier than breathing.
 
 
***
 
 
When he woke up, Bruce wasn't there. Lex just sighed and stumbled out of the
bed, going through the motions of getting ready for another day, all the while
wondering if an intervention were necessary. Like it would even work. The man
would just stare at them all until they finished talking, then go back to
tinkering away in his cave.
 
It was only a little after six, so Lex fully expected the kitchen to be empty.
. . well, nearly so. He had no clue when Alfred actually got up, but he'd bet
anything it was too damn early for most people. Sure enough, when he pushed the
door in, Alfred was standing over the stove, stirring and mixing something.
There was coffee, though, so Lex's attention was quickly diverted.
 
"Sleep well, Master Lex?" Alfred asked, obviously amused. He smiled a little,
but Lex could see it for what it was -- distraction.
 
"Yes, I did in fact. Once I laid down, that is."
 
"Hmmm," Alfred agreed, nodding as he turned back to his cooking.
 
They were both silent for awhile after that. Lex watched as Alfred turned the
heat down on whatever sauce it was he was making, and when the older man
started laying out place settings at the table he went over to help.
 
There were only four spots, though, and damned if that weren't confusing.
 
He looked up, catching Alfred's eyes. "Only four?"
 
Alfred nodded. "Master Wayne has already eaten," he said, his tone making it
obvious his opinion on that.
 
"And Liza?" Lex asked.
 
Alfred's grimace turned into a frown, as he turned and went to a cabinet to
fetch glasses and mugs.
 
"I'm sure it's not my place," he replied cryptically. Alfred's back was to him,
but that didn't stop Lex from seeing the tension in the man's stance and his
jerky motions.
 
"What's wrong with Liza?" Lex asked point-blank. He walked over to the island
counter, placing him only about a foot away from the older man. With one hand
bracing himself on a stool, and the other in his pocket, Lex worked on
schooling his facial expression. Not too eager, not too demanding, but
something in between usually worked best. In his head, he always called it his
'listening face.'
 
Alfred sighed heavily, then looked back at Lex over his shoulder. He narrowed
his eyes for a moment, then rolled them before turning back to pick up the
assorted cups. Lex dashed over to help him, earning a twitch of the mouth, and
while they put the juice glasses, and the milk glasses, and the coffee mugs all
in their proper spots, Alfred spoke quietly.
 
"Miss Liza's been away for over a week now," he said, eyes solely on making
sure Lian's unnecessary coffee mug was absolutely centered. "So last night,
Master Wayne phoned the number she'd left, so as to make sure nothing was
amiss." He looked up, meeting Lex's eyes.
 
Lex nodded. "And? What did she say? What's going on?" The last sounded whinier
than he'd intended, but it had the effect of keeping Alfred talking, at least.
 
"She wasn't there," the older man said bluntly. "And the. . . good people. . .
who were did not know her, or anyone matching her description." Alfred's mouth
twisted down on 'good people,' which Lex gathered was a polite way of referring
to some of Gotham's seedier citizens.
 
"So she. . . lied?" Lex asked disbelievingly. "About where she was, and what
she was doing?"
 
Alfred nodded grimly. "It would appear so."
 
"What's Bruce think?"
 
Alfred moved his hands to the back of Lian's chair and, from the way his
knuckles turned white, proceeded to squeeze the hell out of it.
 
"As I said before, Master Lex," Alfred told him, locking eyes on him that were
angry, but not at him. "I'm sure it's not my place." And with that, he turned
and went back to the stove, his stirring vigorous and erratic.
 
Oh, yeah, Alfred was angry all right, but Lex wasn't sure if it were at Liza or
Bruce. Probably both, with a side of the world in general. Lex knew exactly how
he felt, although he'd add a few more names to that list just to be sure.
 
 
***
 
 
By the time the others stumbled in, Lex had already made four phone calls and
received word back from a "friend" at the Gotham Globe that they were pretty
much done reprinting Thom Aerson's articles. Seemed he wasn't the only one
tired of the man's hate-mongering.
 
Plus, there was bigger news in town. A new criminal had cropped up in the last
few weeks since Batman's debut. Evidently, there were eyewitness accounts of
the Bat fighting a person on top of the Gotham City Museum of Antiquities.
According to the paper, shots were fired, but not one of the witnesses was
quite sure who'd been shooting.
 
But Lex was sure. Bruce hated guns, abhorred them even. Joe Chill had murdered
Thomas and Martha Wayne right before their son's eyes, and he'd used a gun.
Bruce wasn't the kind of person to ever forget that.
 
And it was nice of him to tell Lex that there was a new problem going on right
underneath their noses. This morning's edition was the first mention Lex had
heard of the newly-coined 'Hush,' a man determined to bring Batman down
apparently, and it seemed he was practically the last person in the city to
know.
 
Oh, he knew why Bruce hadn't said anything. It was another example of the man's
determination to do good, to do right by his parents. If he had help or comfort
along the way, Lex was sure Bruce would think it cheating. He'd feel like he'd
failed if it weren't just him. . . giving up everything of himself in order to
save a rotted city from swallowing itself whole.
 
Bruce was stubborn, and he thought differently. His mind made connections where
Lex saw none. He read into things ideas and information so obscure and
irrelevant-seeming that Lex sometimes thought him absolutely crazy. But he
wasn't. Bruce was. . . different. It were as though he'd been turned to the
left as a child, and was now trying his damnedest to walk sideways. It didn't
have to be necessary, so long as Bruce knew it to be right.
 
The scary thing was, Bruce's focus on helping eradicate criminals hadn't
distracted him from other things. He still talked to the DA in Metropolis, and
DCFS both there and in Gotham. Bruce was on the phone with either Nick or
Jameson at least once a day, it seemed, and sometimes he'd say a quick "Gotta
go" before quickly hanging up when Lex came into the office unexpectedly.
 
Then there was the sex. Bruce wasn't really around enough for it to be anything
but stolen moments in the afternoon, or a quick grope and kiss in the corridor.
And it wasn't distracted, either. At least, no more than it had ever been.
There would always be a part of Bruce that just. . . wasn't there, but Lex knew
well enough that it wasn't the man's fault. It wasn't deliberate, and it didn't
mean he wasn't important to Bruce.
 
It was just the way things were. Lex had no hair, and never would, Lin and
Lucas had been tortured for years by his father, Julian would be lucky if he
didn't turn out completely screwed up, and Bruce was so traumatized by the
death of his parents that sometimes. . . he just got a little lost in his head.
Happened to everyone, only with others it was called daydreaming, not waking
nightmares. Lex was pretty sure most of the time Bruce didn't even know it
happened. The mind was a funny thing.
 
But things were the way they were, and a person could either go along with
that. . .
 
Or change it all to the way it should be.
 
 
***
 
 
"Is she working with Lionel?"
 
Bruce didn't move a muscle, didn't even blink, but Lex could tell what the
answer was anyway.
 
He sighed heavily, then moved over to Bruce and rested his hands on the man's
shoulders. Bruce swung his swivel chair around, his knees bumping Lex's, and
brought his own hands up to Lex's waist.
 
"How?" Lex asked finally. "Why?"
 
"That's what I'm working on," Bruce replied. His eyes slipped shut and one of
the hands squeezed Lex's side uncomfortably hard. "She betrayed me."
 
Bruce opened his eyes and, with the low light and glare from the computer
monitors, his irises seemed to have bled across his whole face. In that moment,
everything about him was an ice-cold blue.
 
"She betrayed you," Bruce went on in a deep voice, and Lex had the urge to step
away. He had the unnerving feeling it wasn't just the two of them anymore. The
longer he looked, the more certain he was it was Batman he was seeing. Talking
to.
 
Bruce had left the building.
 
Lex took a deep breath, still painfully aware of the hand gripping his side
tightly. He looked at the monitors, really focused on them this time, and
realized what Bruce had been studying, that what he'd been painstakingly
combing through wasn't just footage from security cameras. It was video from
Lionel's security cameras. All of them, the ones in the house, the grounds, the
offices at Luthorcorp, The Centre, and some from what appeared to be a yacht of
some sort. . . all playing out on Bruce's screens below Wayne manor.
 
"Jesus, where did you get all this?" Lex breathed out. He'd focused in on the
top left, where his father sat signing numerous papers at his desk. It was the
one in his office at Luthorcorp. Lex would recognize that huge wall of windows
anywhere, with its vague, city-wide view just barely visible over the man's
shoulder.
 
Bruce tilted his head up more, trying to snag his eyes, no doubt, but Lex
refused. After weeks and weeks, here finally was the monster responsible,
calmly sitting in his chair atop the highest building in the city. Lex wondered
what exactly it was the old man was signing -- orders to terminate employment,
paycheck bonuses, the torture and murder of someone else who'd helped his sons?
 
Lex thought of walking right up to that monitor and putting his fist through
it, could actually visualize it perfectly, but of course didn't move. Bruce's
hand loosened on his waist, as though he'd read his thoughts somehow, and Lex
eventually released the breath he'd been unconsciously holding.
 
"I know certain people," Bruce began quietly. "Anything for the right price."
He glanced over his shoulder at the screen Lex was focusing on, then said,
"Some things are just more important than others."
 
Lex finally looked down and met that hard gaze, dead-on. He slid his hands up
to that face and rested his thumbs along those cheekbones. And he took those
words for the gift they were as he leaned down, as he pressed his mouth to
Bruce's.
 
Bruce was giving up everything to be here, was ignoring everything to help
them. Lex felt something shift between them when Bruce's arms came up around
his back. It was subtle, and not the end of the world, but. . .
 
It was different. It changed things. Soon Bruce wouldn't he his anymore. This
was probably the last time he'd ever be the man's sole focus. After this was
done, after justice had been brought down on his father's head, it really
wouldn't be just the two of them anymore.
 
Bruce belonged to him and only him in that moment, but soon the world would
come calling.
 
And Batman would answer.
 
 
***
 
 
After they returned from another session with Daniel, Lucas broke away and went
upstairs. Lex had barely said anything the whole two hours and neither had
Lucas, but something was gnawing at the kid. Of course, they'd all kind of
accepted the fact that he was agoraphobic, so maybe it was nerves from being
outside so long.
 
Or it could be any number of things having to do with "growing up" in a lab,
essentially. It wasn't Lex's place to ask, though. That's how it felt. He
didn't know Lucas, and Lucas didn't know him. It felt strange to reach out to
him.
 
He was better off with Lin, anyway. Lin could make anybody feel better. And
worse, although that was an unintentional side-effect. By comparison, anyone
looked selfish next to Colin.
 
It was just a bad day all around. Last night, there'd been another text from
Lionel waiting for him, and this morning Julian had refused to eat anything.
Everything was deteriorating, it seemed. The fragile balance they'd all been
trying to maintain had somehow become lopsided, and now it was a struggle to
remain calm. Lex felt on the brink of shouting for no reason all the time
lately. Or, he found himself dozing off at strange times of the day. Little cat
naps, Lin called them, attempting once to reach over and scratch beneath Lex's
chin. He'd smiled at him, but swatted the hand away. But it was good to see Lin
teasing.
 
Even if the whole thing kind of freaked him out. He'd wake up disoriented and
it usually took him awhile to remember what the hell was going on. It was
stress, and he knew it, but that realization didn't help any. It just made him
feel like a melodramatic idiot for not even being able to sleep right.
 
Daniel had offered to prescribe some sleep aids. "Very low-dose," he'd said,
out of earshot -- well, one assumed, anyway -- of the others. Lex had of course
refused, saying it couldn't last forever.
 
Daniel'd just eyed him, then nodded. "It's up to you, Lex. I'll not force
anything on you unless it's strictly necessary. It's up to you."
 
It was up to him.
 
Lucas had papers now. Bruce had scrounged up someone to get him a Social
Security number, and they'd forged a Birth Certificate. That was just as much
as Lin had, and Lucas was the one who'd been born here.
 
It was impossibly sad to think of what Lucas' mother had done. Granted, none of
them knew the circumstances surrounding the woman's decision, or lack of one
perhaps, but there were only so many reasons as to why she'd have given Lucas
up.
 
They had a last name, though. It was a start. Wherever she was, whoever she'd
been and had now become. . . Lucas could find her, someday. One of them
possibly had a mother out there somewhere, alive and breathing and wondering,
maybe, about the son she'd given up.
 
Or had had taken from her.
 
 
***
 
 
He jerked awake from a dream about glass shattering to the sound of shouting.
Climbing to his feet, Lex grabbed the door open and stepped into the hallway.
 
Just as a streak of grey blurred past him towards the foyer and out the door.
 
"What the-- !"
 
But Lian was already running for the open front door, his face red and wet. Lex
spared a brief glance to where Lucas was standing, a phone in hand, before
chasing after the boy.
 
"You're stupid!" Lian was shouting, when Lex caught up to him outside. Standing
on the wide front steps of Wayne manor, in December, without a coat, Julian
screamed insults to the air.
 
To where Lin had vanished.
 
"You're a stupid asshole! You're an idiot, Lin! You're-- you're. . ." and then
he was hiccupping and crying, still staring out like he'd see Lin if he just
kept looking.
 
"What happened?" Lex asked him, coming up from behind and pulling Lian into his
side. He let the kid keep his eyes on the horizon. Seemed wrong to take that
small hope away from him.
 
"I told him not to go," Lian whispered. "I said it was a trick. I said, 'You go
and he'll-- he'll try. . . you go and he'll kill you, Lin!'" Now he started
sobbing, and at that point Lex did kneel down and turn him around. He put a
hand on Lian's face, but the kid's eyes were squeezed shut. "I told him. . . "
 
Lex thought, at that point, that he should have asked whom it was who'd called.
 
But he didn't need to.
 
"You goddamn fool," he said, turning his head and looking at the main gate to
the property.
 
There were boot steps coming close and Lex looked over to see Lucas striding
purposefully towards them. He had his black wool coat on, the one Lin had
bought him, but he looked pale and sweaty. He always did when outside.
 
They just looked at each other for a moment, until Lex swallowed away some of
the anger and grief and managed to speak.
 
"What'd he say? What the fuck is going on?"
 
Lucas just blinked, then moved some papers from his hands to under his arm so
he could button up his coat. Then he smiled.
 
Lex stood up. He let go of Lian and walked right up to the grinning idiot.
"What is going on?" he repeated slowly, resisting the urge to smack that smile
off the kid's face.
 
But Lucas just took a deep breath and grabbed the papers up again. He smoothed
them out, and Lex glanced down. Maps. It was a map, printed off a computer and
in a hurry too, if the ink smeared at the bottom were any indication.
 
"Lucas?" Lex asked, worried now, no matter how good it had felt to be
unreasonably angry. "What are you doing?"
 
"Is this the right way?" He pointed down at the map, his finger sliding along
the route marked in bold. Gotham to Metropolis. This estate. . . to 1436 North
Spruce Street, Metropolis, Kansas.
 
"God, what are you doing?!" he whispered in horror.
 
Lucas nodded to himself, then took a deep breath. Looking up, he stopped
smiling, but there was still the glint of something in his eyes. Lucas stepped
closer to him and, before he could even react, pressed his mouth to Lex's.
 
It was quick and chaste, and so completely awkward Lex felt his eyes couldn't
possibly get any wider. He sputtered and stumbled back, but Lucas just smiled
wickedly at him. He blurred, then. Rushed right back into Lex's personal space
and breathed in his ear, "From Lin." There was another breeze, and Lex barely
had time to make out Lucas giving Lian a hug before. . .
 
It was just the two of them again.
 
"Goddamn fools," he muttered. Lian reached out his hand, and Lex took it
gratefully.
 
 
***
 
 
"Well, what the hell else are we going to do?" he shouted, raising his voice
because Bruce had chosen that moment to put the cowl on.
 
"Nothing," Bruce said lowly. "You are going to stay here, Julian is staying
here, and that's all there is to it." He tugged at his gauntlets, his whole
being seemingly absorbed in the task, but Lex saw through it. He stepped up and
gripped those hands.
 
"If you leave me here," he said, eyes still on Bruce's armored and gloved
hands. "I will never forgive you." Finally, he looked up and stared into
Bruce's black-smudged eyes. "We're done, if you do this, regardless of how it
turns out."
 
Bruce stared back at him.
 
Then he nodded, dropping his eyes and shaking Lex's hands off. He went back to
fiddling with his gauntlets, slowly turning and making his way over to some
large cabinets nearby. Lex didn't know whether to laugh or shout at how easily
Bruce had brushed him off.
 
Just as he was turning around, ready to make for the lift and go punch
something upstairs, Bruce called out.
 
"If you're going, it's not going to be wearing that!"
 
Lex turned around. Bruce was holding up some kind of black armor, and even with
the cowl hiding half his face and the distance between them, the man's smile
was easy to make out.
 
 
***
 
 
As the jet touched down, Bruce climbed right behind the wheel of the Tumbler,
and signaled at Lex to do the same. Then, once landed, the back hatch opened
and Bruce launched them out into Metropolis.
 
"I knew that was gonna bite us in the ass," Lex said, trying to keep his eyes
off the road rushing past them. Bruce had said earlier that he imitated him
when driving the Tumbler, like reckless driving would somehow intimidate
criminals even more than the giant man dressed as a bat or the way he fought
with absolute precision. No, driving fast was what was going to make them
surrender.
 
Hell, maybe Bruce was right. After less than 15 minutes of sitting shotgun, Lex
felt like he might puke when they stopped. Of course, the reason they would
stop would be because they'd arrived at the Centre, and puking before going
into that place again might not be such a bad idea.
 
"What do you mean?" Bruce asked. His voice was so quiet and low it was hard to
make it out over the roaring of the Tumbler's engine.
 
"Not going after Liza's trail," he clarified. "We should've done it as soon as
we knew she wasn't where she said she'd be."
 
"It was planned, Lex," Bruce said. Lex looked over, but Bruce barely spared him
a glance as he went on passing vehicles right, left, and center. "Everything
about this was planned, I imagine, right down to the time of day and what color
socks he's wearing."
 
"You're saying. . . wait, what are you saying exactly? That it's not her fault?
That it's all-- "
 
"I'm saying we don't know what's going on," Bruce interrupted.  "And that, too,
is part of Lionel's sadistic little plan. We're coming in almost completely
blind, with just what we can pull out of our asses on the fly, and that's what
he wants."
 
"For us to go off half-cocked," Lex added, seeing Bruce nod from the corner of
his eye.
 
"Lin rushed out of there without consulting any of us," Bruce agreed. Just
then, he exited the freeway and began tearing across the city streets up
towards Spruce Street. It was slower going by far than the freeway, mainly
because most of the streets up this way weren't more than two lanes, if that.
This was an older section of the city, and the roads were a helluva lot
narrower. Lex found himself biting his lip and quit.
 
"Well, of course he did," Lex retorted. "The man knows just how to play him,
just how to push his buttons. And he should. He's the one who fucking installed
them!"
 
"You get any angrier and you won't be thinking clearly," Bruce warned, but Lex
cut him off.
 
"I'm already not thinking clearly. None of us are." He sneered. "All part of
Pop's plan."
 
"Well, then shut up," Bruce said calmly. "You're not helping either of us by
ranting."
 
Lex started to open his mouth in a comeback, but something up ahead caught his
eye. Against the dark sky were orange and red shadows. Black smoke blocked the
stars, and when Bruce finally steered the car up the north part of Spruce, it
became clear what was happening.
 
"Jesus Christ," Lex gasped, unhooking himself from the harness he was strapped
in.
 
Fire.
 
Through the second floor windows, Lex saw fire blazing. It'd climbed its way up
the side of the building, and about half of the third floor's visible windows
showed fire inside there, too. The place was going to come down.
 
Who knew if anyone were even still inside.
 
Bruce stopped on the opposite side of the street, pulling onto the sidewalk. It
took Lex a moment to figure out why, but the reason became apparent when the
whining of sirens registered in the distance.
 
"Oh, this'll be fun," Lex cracked. He moved up beside Bruce, tugging at the
mask a little. He could feel the heat of the fire even from here.
 
"You should stay here," Bruce told him seriously.
 
"And you should've minded your own business all those years ago," he replied.
"But we all do stupid shit every once in awhile, don't we?"
 
And with that, he took off across the street, not waiting for, but soon
hearing, the thud of heavy-booted feet behind him.
 
 
***
 
 
"You can't come," Lex told him. Julian turned his head away, trying not to
hear, but Lex physically forced him to meet his eyes. If looks could kill. . .
 
"I know I can't!" Lian snapped. "I don't even want to! You're all stupid for
going."
 
Lex felt like smiling, if only because Lian was so goddamned right. This was
the most reckless, ill-advised, dumbass idea any of them had ever had. Ever.
 
"I love you, Julian," he said instead.
 
"Well, I hate you!" Lian seethed. "You're going to go off and get yourself
killed, and I'll never-- " He broke off, tears falling down his face
continuously like a waterfall. "I'll never see you again," he pushed on, his
voice barely wobbling at all.
 
Brave Kid.
 
Lex hugged him so hard, he felt the kid's breath push out of him. He squeezed
him, and dug his hands into that ridiculous mop of curly hair Lian refused to
cut.
 
But it was too much, and without another word Lex pushed him away and climbed
to his feet. He took off down the hall towards the music room and the cave's
entrance.
 
He'd just opened the door when Lian shouted at him.
 
"I love you, too, Lex!"
 
He looked over his shoulder and smiled back at Lian. Kid had followed him, but
stood at the end of the hallway. The sun was shining through the windows,
glinting off last night's snow and nearly blinding him.
 
Lex turned away before Julian could see him cry. He turned away because he was
selfish, and because he wanted his brother's last memory of him to be good.
 
He wanted to be brave too.
 
 
***
 
 
He'd never been in a fire, didn't quite know what to expect. Sure, Lex knew
it'd be hot and smoky and hard to see, but none of that prepared him really. It
wasn't hot; it was boiling. He could barely see a foot in front of him, the
clouds of smoke and flame were so high. He couldn't breathe.
 
Bruce grabbed his shoulder, kept a hand on him at all times, and Lex was glad
he wasn't alone. They dashed across the lobby of the Centre over to the
stairwell. Lex pushed past Bruce as they climbed up to the second floor, then
the third. He'd only been up here once, maybe twice in his whole life, but when
he slammed the stairwell door open and stepped out. . .
 
He could smell the smoke from down below, but the fire hadn't caught up here
yet. He didn't know which way to go, didn't know what was the likeliest place
they'd be. The display cases down the right hall? Or the library straight
ahead?
 
But there was a shout and a sudden crash to the left, and before he knew it,
Lex was running full out towards his father's office. As he and Bruce tore off
down the hall, the shouts resolved into Lucas' hoarse voice. And once around
the corner, it was easy to see that both doors were flung wide open and several
were people inside the room.
 
"Stop it!" Lucas was shouting. "You're killing him!"
 
Just as he was about to race inside, Bruce grabbed him from behind and pulled
him back. They banged into the wall on the right and Lex was about to yell at
him to get off, when his mouth was covered.
 
"We've got to assess before we go in," Bruce whispered. The people inside were
all still too focused on each other to have noticed Lex and Bruce's arrival.
"Stay here," and then the hand was gone and Bruce almost slithered farther down
the hall.
 
"You can't do this!" came Lucas' pleading voice. "Just-- just think of all that
work, Lionel! All of it's gone, if he dies!"
 
"No, Lex-- " Bruce started to say, reaching out to try and stop him.
 
If he dies. . . If he dies. . . If he dies. . .
 
The first guard's back was to the door. He was pointing a gun down at someone
curled on the floor. Lex didn't even take the time to see who it was, but there
were only a few people it could be. He quietly moved close to the man, balling
his hand into a fist. His right hand slid up to cup the side of the man's head,
while he sent the bottom edge of his left slamming into the guy's temple,
knocking him out before he even knew Lex was there.
 
There was silence for a heartbeat, then guard number two over by the windows
turned his gun on Lex, and away from Colin. Lex pulled the mask off, looking
down at Lin's still form.
 
"Alexander! What do you think you're doi-- !"
 
Lex ignored Lionel, crouching down next to Lin just as a large dark shadow
detached itself from the wall near the windows. He heard Bruce disarming the
other guard, and felt air as Lucas moved past him, but his eyes were all for
Lin.
 
He looked. . . not good. At first, Lex's heart had almost stopped in fear. Lin
was grey, not pale. There were veins and blood vessels straining against what
was visible of his skin, green and black, and. . . hard. But, as Lex reached
out a hand to touch him, the worst was the look on his face. His mouth wide in
a scream, and his eyes open and. . . blue, a pale, pale blue Lex had never seen
before except in pictures of Huskies, Lin was in agony. He was curled up in a
fetal position, his chest barely moving.
 
Lex began searching. He ran his hands up and down and still found nothing, no
trace whatsoever of any green meteorite. But that's what it had to be. That was
the only thing that would be able to keep Lin down. It had to be there
somewhere.
 
"Jesus Christ!" Lionel shouted, and Lex glanced up. Bruce had finished with the
guard and was now stalking towards Lionel. They were behind the desk, Bruce
moving closer and closer. Lionel had a gun, but Bruce didn't seem too worried
about that. Lucas, meanwhile, had dropped to the floor near a sofa, behind
which a pair of high-heeled feet stuck out.
 
Lin was cold. Lex slapped him, but he didn't even blink.
 
They were late. They were too late.
 
If he dies. . . If he dies. . .
 
A rush of air blew against him, pushing Lex back and causing him to fall flat
on his ass. It was Lucas, holding a huge syringe full of--
 
"Is that blood?!" Lex demanded. He grabbed Lucas' hand, stilling it until the
kid looked at him.
 
"It's our blood," he said. "It's his." He shook Lex's hand off almost
effortlessly, then took a deep breath and slammed the needle into Lin's chest.
Into his heart.
 
He pushed the plunger down, then pulled the syringe out. Nothing happened. Lex
watched Lin's face for signs of. . . anything resembling a change, but it
didn't come. He stared at Lucas, but the kid looked as scared and confused as
Lex felt.
 
"No! No, you can't do this to me! Get your hands off me this instant, you
freak!"
 
He'd always wondered if seeing red were just a turn of phrase, or if rage could
actually make it happen to someone. But when Lex looked over at his father
again, now being held up high against the window by Batman. . .
 
He saw red. In his mind's eye, he saw Lionel's blood all over his hands, saw
himself bathing in it and, for a split second, wanted that more than anything
else in the world. He got to his feet, stepped over Lin's dead body, and walked
over.
 
"Lex!" his father cried out, seeing him. "Don't let him do this! He's going to
murder me, son!"
 
Lex stopped right at the edge of the desk, with its expensive but tasteless
furnishings. Gold pens, gold lamps, gold paper weights. Jeweled this and
jeweled that. Dirty money.
 
"I used to love you," Lex heard himself say. He looked up and met his father's
eyes, the whites showing around the irises. "I respected you," he told him.
"You were a great man. . . I thought."
 
He stepped closer, then even closer. Lionel kept struggling against Bruce's
grip, kept making small, determined, injured noises.
 
"Lex-- " he gasped.
 
"You're weak and disgusting," Lex told him. "You'll never amount to anything."
He waited until he saw recognition in the man's eyes, then said, "I can't stand
the sight of you. You make me ashamed to even be in the same room."
 
There was a roaring from down the hallway, then suddenly the sprinklers went on
just as flames started licking at the doors to the hallway. The fire had
reached them. Red and blue lights flashed through the window from the emergency
vehicles outside, and water was everywhere.
 
Lex was about to take a step back and tell Bruce they needed to find a way out
of here, when Lionel abruptly stopped struggling. He was looking past Lex, and
his face was. . . terrified.
 
"Hail Mary, full of Grace, the Lord is-- "
 
Lex turned his head around, saw Bruce doing the same from the corner of his
eye. Lionel kept up the Ave Maria, and with his voice in the background
praying, and the sight before him, Lex felt the power of God for the first time
in his life.
 
If it weren't a miracle, then what the hell was it?
 
Lin was up and walking, trying to push Lucas away from him as the kid attempted
to drag him back. And Lex knew it wasn't the fire outside or the red light
reflecting from the emergency vehicles that made Lin's eyes that color.
 
"We have to get out of here," Lex said. "The fire's out of control, and the
sprinklers won't get it. Lin!" And those fiery eyes finally turned to him. "We
don't have time for this. We have to get out now!"
 
"He killed her," Lin said, gaze again focused only on Lionel's face. "When she
refused to call us, he tortured her. Then he called us anyway, made her scream
so we could hear."
 
"No, Lin-- " Lucas tried again, yanking Lin's arm. But Colin just flung him
away. Lucas flew back so hard, he hit the wall behind and went right into the
flames that'd begun crawling into the room. "Shit!" Lucas yelled, scrambling
out of the fire and ripping his smoldering coat off. "What the fuck are you
doing, Lin?!" he screamed at Colin's back.
 
But Lin just steadily moved closer. Bruce was biting his lip as he stared at
Lionel, and Lex had the feeling time had run out.
 
"He murdered Liza, and he had them shoot Dr. Izer."
 
Lex then realized three things in rapid succession. One, the air was running
out. Two, the body behind the sofa was dead, not unconscious like he'd
previously thought. And three, it'd belonged to Dr. Izer, the woman who'd
escorted him around the Centre weeks ago. She was the one who'd shown him
Lucas, who'd made the place seem so. . . benign.
 
When Lex looked back at Lionel, he saw the man choking. Bruce had moved his
hands from the man's shoulder and neck, to just his neck, and was now
proceeding to strangle the life out of him.
 
"No!" Lex shouted, darting over and shoving Bruce away with everything he had.
All three of them hit the floor in a heap, Lionel's rasps for breath almost as
loud as the fire in the room. Bruce pushed himself up, trying to get at Lionel
again, but Lex punched him in the face. "We don't have time for this!" he
yelled over the flames. "We have to get out!"
 
There was cracking along the far walls, and framed photos were melting. Soon
the floor would collapse, and while Lucas and Lin would undoubtedly survive,
Lex, Bruce, and Lionel most likely would not.
 
Hands abruptly grabbed Lex from behind, jerked him up. He turned around in the
circle of Lin's arms.
 
"Lin-- " he started, but Colin just shook his head and looked back at Lucas.
 
"You got them?" he asked.
 
"Go, go!" Lucas shouted, nodding and grabbing at Bruce as he spoke.
 
"Here we go," Lin whispered into Lex's ear. "Close your eyes."
 
They went out the window, Lin's body curled around Lex like a giant,
impenetrable blanket. The glass shattered, but never touched him. And Lex kept
expecting the downward descent. It would be brief. They were only three stories
up, after all.
 
But it never came. Instead, they actually went. . . higher and, if anything,
faster.
 
"Lin. . . ?"
 
"It's okay, Lex," he shouted over the wind. "Just keep your eyes shut.
 
"We'll be home in no time."
 
 
***
 
 
It took a little over three hours to fly by plane from Metropolis to Gotham
City, and vice versa.
 
Lin and Lex made it in a matter of minutes, with Bruce calling soon after to
tell them he and Lucas were driving the Tumbler back to the jet, then taking
off themselves.
 
They didn't mention Lionel, or security tapes.
 
But then, they didn't need to. Family is its own language.
 
 
***
 
 
Epilogue
 
 
He didn't mind flying so much anymore. It was getting to be routine.
 
Bruce had offered to give him lessons flying a plane. Lucas had volunteered to
take him up again, himself, his way.
 
It took 197 minutes, by jet, to get back. It took a quarter of that for
strangers to get done talking about Lionel.
 
He chose to remain with Bruce and Alfred, rather than sit up front with Lex,
Lin, and Lian.
 
There was no body to bury, just like with Liza. But Lucas didn't put anything
in Lionel's empty casket, like he had hers.
 
Nobody cried. Lucas caught a few people grinning, though.
 
There was a reception afterward, and a lot of people came into the house. He
and Lian hid out in the atttic, going through old photo albums.
 
Lin never came to bed that night. When Lucas went downstairs in the morning, he
found him sleeping in the atrium, right in a sunbeam.
 
 
***
 
 
It was kind of funny. He knew what cows were, of course, but he couldn't
remember ever seeing one before. They were a lot bigger than he would have
thought. And smellier.
 
Lian loved the town, and the fields. He hated the castle, though, and Lin held
the little boy's hand for almost an hour once they went inside.
 
Lucas thought it was hilarious when they met the lady who'd be cooking for
them. Lex and Lin both stared at her like she was the Virgin Mary, but then,
they did that to pretty much every woman who had red hair.
 
Lex got most everything of Lionel's. Lin got some too, though, and the rest was
put in trust for Julian.
 
Lian once asked him if he were hurt or angry that he hadn't been willed
anything at all. He'd said, "Not really."
 
Truth was, he'd gotten the best gift of all. He'd been able to keep the promise
he'd made himself eight years ago.
 
Bruce had watched him do it and hadn't ever said anything about any of it to
anyone. "We all have secrets," he'd told Lucas on the way back to Gotham after
the fire.
 
Lex met with people day and night, and the four of them stayed in Lionel's
Smallville castle for over a month. There was another tutor for Lian, but Lucas
and Lin didn't study. At night, they went flying, and it took less time to
master that than it had any of the other powers.
 
They had a party of sorts the third week in town. Lex and Lian wore suits and
ties, while Lin did just the suit. But no one said anything when Lucas showed
up in jeans and a Beatles t-shirt. The lady's husband even talked to him,
asking him what songs he liked and what he knew of the band's history.
 
 
***
 
 
He was pretty sure Lex knew, even if he never said anything. Lin had known what
Lucas would do when he'd left with only Lex in his arms. There was never any
pretending between them.
 
"I swear," he'd said. "I swear you'll pay."
 
Lionel had laughed, had patted his cheek.
 
"I promise," he'd screamed. "I'll kill you someday! I'll rip your head off and
set it on fire!"
 
Lucas liked it in Smallville. The cities were too loud. People were rude there.
Out here. . .
 
Out here, people stared, but they hardly ever shouted. They were nosey, and
they had no clue who he was or why he was living in Lionel's castle, and that
was just the way he liked it.
 
The lady who cooked for him also kept him company sometimes. She told stories
about working on a farm, and when Lucas asked her if she had cows, she invited
him over to see for himself.
 
Cars were okay, but he liked running and flying more. He'd been in Smallville
for a year, when one day the lady's husband stopped by and asked him if he'd be
interested in a motorcycle.
 
***
 
The End. 
30
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