Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/11946534. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Rape/Non-Con, Underage Fandom: NCT_(Band) Character: Huang_Ren_Jun, Lee_Jeno, Lee_Donghyuck_|_Haechan, Lee_Taeyong, Nakamoto Yuta, Jung_Yoonoh_|_Jaehyun, Zhong_Chen_Le, Lee_Minhyung_|_Mark, Park Jisung_(NCT), Kim_Dongyoung_|_Doyoung, Moon_Taeil, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul_|_Ten, Seo_Youngho_|_Johnny, Na_Jaemin, Dong_Si_Cheng_| WinWin, NCT_Ensemble, NCT_Dream_Ensemble Additional Tags: Rape/Non-con_Elements, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional_Hurt/Comfort, Team_as Family, Hospitals, Rape_Recovery Stats: Published: 2017-08-30 Chapters: 1/2 Words: 1371 ****** But I love him? ****** by Haechannieislife Summary Renjun doesn't understand; he loves Sir, needs Sir even. Why is everyone looking at him like he's fragile, like he's been hurt? The things I do for him, honestly if I didn’t love him so much I don’t know where we’d be. He needs this, he’s under so much stress. “You like that don’t you, you slut,” he growls. “Yes Sir,” is my whispered response. He goes to speak again, probably to tell me how dirty I am, but a horrified scream stops him in his tracks. I whip my head round to see Jeno standing there. He looks horrified, and I don’t blame him, this position leaves nothing to the imagination and he’s just been confronted with how disgusting I am. It was just Jeno standing in the doorway, but his shriek sent the entire dorm running. It’s not just the rest of Dream, the two remaining managers along with Taeyong, Jaehyun and Yuta are also now crowding in the doorway. They don’t even live here what the fuck? Nobody is moving. They’re all just staring, eyes wide in horror. They probably think I’m disgusting, a slut, just like Sir says I am, he knows best after all. I can’t bring myself to do anything more than just lay there, that’s all I’m good for anyway. I am however surprised to see him get thrown to the ground by Yuta, and then to see Jaehyun, Mark and Jeno join him in punching and kicking him. This isn’t his fault, he needed to use me to release his stress, I provoked him. This isn’t right! Before I can object, however, Donghyuk has crouched down in front of me and has started wrapping me in a blanket. He’s looking at me like I’m some sort of wounded animal, I don’t understand. I tell him as much, and he just hushes me, pulling me into a hug. From over his shoulder I see one of the Manager Hyungs dragging Sir out of the room, whilst the other is on the phone, probably to the company. Everyone else, however, is staring straight at me. I duck my head to hide in Donghyuk’s neck as soon as I realise this, and he automatically pulls me closer. I hear Taeyong Hyung approach us, but I can’t face him, I just can’t. He sits gingerly down on the bed next to me, and he places a hand on my bare shoulder, where the blanket has slipped. I flinch away on impulse, but then immediately turn to face him. “Renjun-ah,” he says gently, hand still on my shoulder, we’re going to get you to a hospital okay?” “Why?” I ask. There’s nothing wrong with me, nothing a hospital can’t fix anyway. “Because Sweetheart, we need to find out how badly he hurt you.” His smile is kind but his eyes are filled with tears. “He didn’t hurt me, I was helping him,” I tell him. They need to understand that this is not his fault. He just looks at me with this look of sadness on his face, like he’s trying not to cry with everything that he has. Donghyuk, however, is unable to control his tears and has gone from hugging me to sobbing into my knees. Yuta Hyung comes forward to switch places with Taeyong, as the latter is too upset to continue the conversation. I end up just staring at him in confusion. He looks me in the eye before telling me that I can explain later, and that it’s important that I remember that none of this is my fault. He then asks me if I think I can walk. “Why?” I ask him, “where are we going?” “The hospital Renjun-ah,” he tells me patiently. “But I don’t want to go,” I tell him, bottom lip beginning to tremble. “I know my darling, but we need to.” I burst into tears, surprising myself. He pulls me into his arms, letting me cry into his chest. I’m so confused, so scared that they’re all going to hate me, that I can’t help but cry. Hyung tries to soothe me, stroking my hair and murmuring reassurances. Once I’ve eventually cried myself out, I sag into his chest, completely exhausted. “Stay awake sweetheart, okay?” I nod into his collarbone distractedly. “Jaehyun-ah can you lift him?” I hear Yuta ask. “Of course, just give me a minute,” Jaehyun replies, quickly handing a crying Chenle over to Mark, who already has an arm around Jisung, both tear stained and scared. Yuta re-wraps me in the blanket then hands me over to Jaehyun, who hoists me up and into his arms. I wind my arms around his neck and resting my head on his shoulder, not before glancing over to see Yuta helping a still sobbing Donghyuk up and into a tight hug. I cling onto Jaehyun tighter, scared to leave the safety of the dorm. I don’t want to have to explain anything to anyone, why did they have to find out? How did Jeno even get in? Sir always locks the door, he normally checks twice to make sure. He always told me it was our secret, and that no one was ever allowed to find out. I don’t know what to do now everyone knows. The ride to the hospital is pretty uneventful, I spend most of it in a light doze. It’s when we pull up outside the hospital that my heart starts racing. We’re being ushered through a back entrance, but I’m still so terrified of being spotted. We’re escorted to a private room, but I keep clinging to Manager Hyung, refusing to let him put me down. He tries to place me on the bed, but I whimper loudly and refuse to loosen my grip. “Come on Renjun-ah, we’re not leaving you,” he tells me gently, trying once again to place me on the bed. I find myself crying again, clinging to him like a baby. He gives up trying to make me sit by myself, instead letting me sit in his lap on one of the arm chairs in the room. He holds me as I cry, not seeming to mind the fact that his jumper is getting wet, instead just stroking my hair as he asks Yuta Hyung to go and find a nurse. Before Yuta can get a foot out the door however, a doctor materialises, smiling kindly at me. She comes over to crouch in front of me before speaking, “hello, you must be Renjun.” I nod in response, still a bit tearful. “Now, your Hyung here told me that somebody hurt you earlier on today, is that true?” I just shrug, unsure of the correct response. “Okay then sweetie, well it’s our job here to make sure that you’re okay, and to do that we need to do a special exam.” “Are you going to do a rape kit?” I interrupt her. She seems slightly taken aback that I know what that it, but she nods anyway. “Yes we are, is that okay with you?” I nod once more, wanting to just get it over with. “Is there anyone you want in with you throughout?” “Sicheng Hyung,” I whisper. “Your wish is my command,” she jokes, and I give a small smile in response. She smiles back at me before asking one final question, “would you prefer a male doctor to examine you, or am I ok?” I look at her, unsure of the right response. “It’s okay, I won’t get offended if you’d prefer a male doctor.” “No, it’s ok, you’re safe,” I mumble. “I’ll be back shortly okay, with a couple of nurses, is it ok if one of them is male?” I tell her that I don’t mind, and she leaves the room. Sicheng Hyung stays with me the entire time, holding my hand. He distracts me, talking about anything and everything to keep me from panicking, even during the more intimate parts of my exam. Once it’s over I make him climb into the bed with me so that we can cuddle. I’ve missed my favourite Hyung recently, and I’m still feeling a bit scared, so I want him as close as possible. He pulls me to lie on his chest, and I snuggle up close. I let myself sleep, knowing that my Hyung will protect me. Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!