Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/56016.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Lord_of_the_Rings_RPF
  Relationship:
      Sean_Bean/Viggo_Mortensen
  Additional Tags:
      Cowboys
  Stats:
      Published: 2010-01-26 Chapters: 16/16 Words: 18146
****** Brothers ******
by Govi
Summary
     After his parents in England die, Sean is raised by his uncle in the
     US
***** Chapter 1 *****
The image of his uncle's shocked face was still very clear, when Sean left
early next morning.
After eight horrible years living on Joe Watt's ranch, he was finally free. Joe
was his mother's brother and when Sean's parents had died Joe had come over.
Sean had been only nine and was staying with some relatives, who had no
intention of providing him with a home. He would probably have ended up in an
orphanage if Joe hadn't taken him on the boat with him to America.
Pretty soon it became clear that Sean was expected to work and work hard,
despite his age and his uncle made sure he was busy from sunrise until sunset.
Whenever he was caught doing nothing, and even sometimes just because Joe felt
like it, he used his belt on Sean. Joe was a big man, built like a bull, with
broad shoulders and enormous hands. Everyone on the ranch had to suffer from
his bad temper, but Sean most of all. He slept in the barn and kept to himself.
Sean was desperately lonely most of the time, but gritted his teeth, spoke only
when needed, and gave his love to the horses on the ranch. He had been put on a
horse on the first day they arrived, because everyone living this remote simply
had to, and took to it immediately. He preferred the company of the large
animals to people most of the time.
Then he and Bill, one of the horsemen, had been sent to the nearest town for
supplies three days ago and the girl at the store, the store owner's daughter,
had looked at Sean and smiled for the very first time since he'd come there.
She wasn't very exciting, not even very pretty and skinny as a boy, but there
was something in her eyes that made Sean really look at himself in the mirror
that night.
He had unbuttoned his shirt, looked at his naked torso and noticed how much he
had toned up because of all the hard work. His skin was deeply tanned, as he
liked working with the sun on his body. He flexed his arms and let the muscles
roll, then grinned at himself in the mirror. *Not too bad, really.*
The thought hadn't occured to him then; he had never planned it, but when his
uncle had pulled out the belt from the loops of his jeans last night, Sean had
been ready and never doubted himself. It was as if something that had held him
in a vice-like grip for years was suddenly gone and he had grabbed the belt and
struck with it three times before his victim even blinked an eye. The sheer
shock in Joe's eyes had made Sean feel even stronger, smelling fear and
victory, even more so when Joe had backed away and left the barn.
That morning Sean got up very early and washed up at the outside pump. There
was no sign of life inside the house yet and he went to the big living room,
not even bothering to be silent. He lifted the lid of the wooden box on one of
the shelves and peeled off a pile of banknotes that would, to his idea, cover
up for the wages he had never received. He loaded one of his uncle's big guns,
and took two handfuls of bullets from the stock. The kitchen provided him with
dried meat, bread, and cheese and he filled his saddlebag with it. Pumping up
fresh water, knowing he would need that most, he thought about where to go, but
then decided to just ride and see.
The hardest part of all was to take Apples, his horse, and leave the others
behind. Sean scratched ears and stroked noses, patted velvet flanks, then
finally saddled up Apples and led the horse out of the stables, taking a small
bag of oats with him. His two old blankets rolled up on the saddle, he rode out
of the gate, his eyes wet, but he didn't turn when he heard his uncle call out
behind him.
He spent that first night in the open air, after building a fire. He didn't
really sleep much, afraid of rattle snakes and young enough to be afraid of
being alone in the dark. He was relieved when the sun rose and he could get up
and give Apples his oats and some water.
Early that afternoon, he reached a small town and got himself a room in the
local saloon and Apples fresh water and oats in the livery stables. He felt
very world wise, ordering a drink and then another one until one of the women
took him upstairs before he was too far gone and made him lose his virginity.
He had some very pleasant days and felt very much at home until his money ran
out and his new popularity with it. The next day he picked up Apples, who
neighed at seeing him and he laid his head against the big horse's head, full
of remorse.
He left town a bit wiser and with only a few coins in his pocket. There was
some food left for horse and man though, and he rode out, eager for new
horizons.
Another night out on the plains, just Apples and him, and by now he was
starting to question his decision to leave the ranch. What would happen to him
and Apples? He would just have to find himself a job, he finally decided,
before he crawled beneath his blankets and fell into a fitful sleep.
***** Chapter 2 *****
Food was always an issue. The plains were green this time of the year, so his
horse was happy enough, but Sean's food was running out quickly. He had tried
to shoot a rabbit three times, but found out that it was a lot harder than the
one time experience of shooting empty bean cans in his uncle's back yard. He
knew he should be careful not to waste his bullets, because he might need them
later. Apart from all that, he had only a faint idea what to do with the rabbit
once dead.
Two days later, early in the morning, Sean saw smoke rising up from behind a
hill into the cloudless blue sky. He rode to the top of the hill, looking down
into a small valley. There was a house built of wood, a small herd of cattle in
the big corral in front of it and a chicken pen beside the house. Sean's
stomach rumbled when he thought about roasted meat or chicken and he decided on
taking his chances.
He went downhill slowly, making sure he could be seen from far away, so the
people living there wouldn't take him for an outlaw. *If they send me away, I
might even become an outlaw.*
He rode around the corral and carefully made his way to the house. It was a
nice house, the wood beaten and weathered, but there were colourful curtains in
front of the windows and the veranda looked inviting with two wooden rocking
chairs on it.
A slight breeze brought the delicious smell of freshly baked bread and Sean
started dismounting, when the door suddenly opened and a gun was pointed at
him. The woman behind the gun was long past her youth, but still had long blond
hair and startling blue eyes. She wore a long white apron over a blue and white
checked dress. Sean took off his hat and cleared his throat, but she beat him
to it, her voice guarded but clear.
"What do you want?"
"I was wondering if you could use a hand on your farm, Ma'am. I am looking for
a job."
The blue eyes looked him over from head to toe and Sean winced, knowing he
looked horrible and smelled even worse after three days. Without putting the
gun down or taking her eyes off him she called out over her shoulder,
"Ben? Come up here, will you?"
A skinny man, only slightly bigger than the woman, appeared behind her. "What
is it Lena?"
"This kid here says he's looking for a job."
The man gave him a look through narrowed eyes, then pushed the gun down and
stepped from behind the woman.
"A job? Like what?"
Sean looked back over his shoulder to the cattle, "I can work with cattle, I am
good with horses and I can do repairs, everything really; I was raised on a
farm. "
The man shoved his hands in his pockets and cocked his head to one side,
watching Sean carefully.
"Okay, show me!"
He indicated for Sean to follow him and they walked to the corral. Pointing at
the gate he showed Sean a broken slat that was repaired clumsily.
"The bull got a bit over-excited a few days ago. I didn't have time to fix it
properly, so just give it a go. Tools and wood are in the shed over there. I'll
be inside the house when you're ready."
The shed was tiny, barely big enough to contain a pile of wood and the big
toolbox. Sean took what he needed and started working, ignoring his rumbling
stomach. It was a very warm day and after some time, he straightened up to wipe
the sweat from his brow. He pulled off his shirt and went back to work.
He had been endlessly repairing gates and fences on his uncle's much bigger
ranch and he dealt with the matter quickly and efficiently. He pulled his shirt
back on and walked back to the house. Apples was tied up in the shade of a tree
and someone had given him a bucket filled with water. Sean petted the big head
and stroked the soft, wet nose, then went towards the house. Once again the
door was opened before he even reached the veranda and the man called Ben
stepped out.
"Wait here."
Sean stayed where he was, just followed the man with his eyes, while he
crouched down and checked the gate thoroughly. The sun was burning
,unforgiving, making him feel light- headed and he had to struggle against the
urge to sit down, but somehow managed to stay upright and wait for the verdict
when the man, Ben, came back.
"Ok, you did a fine job. Look here son, I could sure use some help, but I have
to be honest with you. I can only afford to pay you a little, as I am not a
rich man. You can eat with us and sleep in the big barn for free though, so
what do you say?"
The thought of food – and the memory of that smell earlier – made his mouth
water and he nearly fell over the word "yes."
"I am Ben, Ben Graham."
"Sean."
"Ok, that's settled then, Sean. We're about to eat and you can join us if you
want to. Before you do, I'll give you a clean shirt. I'll show you the barn;
there's a pump right outside, I think the wife would appreciate it if you
cleaned up a little before you came inside."
Sean took the calloused hand that was proffered and shook it.
"One more thing Sean; I have a young daughter. You leave her alone, hear me?"
***** Chapter 3 *****
In the following weeks, Sean worked hard, realizing how lucky he had been. Ben
was a nice guy and Mrs Graham wasn't too bad either. She took care of Sean as
well as she did her husband and daughter. That first day, Ben had shown him the
barn and the room he had built within. It contained four beds for seasonal
workers, but at the moment Sean was the only hired hand and having the big room
all to himself was a rare luxury.
He had all his meals in the house, sharing the big table as if he were family.
The daughter, Madeline, was slender, dark and pretty, more her Dad's daughter
than her Mum's. Sean was polite to her, but kept out of her way as much as
possible, minding Ben's warning, not wanting to do anything that could make him
lose the job.
He replaced the fence around the chicken run, repaired the corral and even made
a few shelves for Mrs Graham's living room. He and Ben worked together for long
hours every day, mostly in silence and mutual respect, slowly growing into a
quiet friendship.
Ben never asked Sean where he'd come from or what had led him to his door,
leaving it up to Sean to tell his story – or not. It was months later and they
had been branding the newborn cattle, when Sean finally did.
It had been a warm day, sun blazing and not a single cloud in the sky. When
they were finally done, Ben took off his hat and wiped the sweat from his brow,
then smiled at Sean.
"Fine job, Sean! Let's clean up and then have a cool drink on the veranda."
They sat in the rocking chairs, drinking the lemonade Mrs Graham had made and
kept cool in the small well a few hundred yards behind the house. Propping his
booted feet up on the railing, Ben sighed contently.
"I'm glad to have you, kid. Next month we'll be driving most of the cattle to
Fort Bunter to sell them and I will only have to hire three extra men this
year, because of you. I had a little trouble with two of the men last year.
It's always hard to find reliable and experienced people like yourself."
Sean sat in stunned silence, a slow blush creeping up his face. Somehow, maybe
because of his peaceful contentment, the thought of driving the herd away had
never occurred to him, which was foolish, as it should have. *Well, now is as
good a time as any to come clean.*
He didn't look at Ben, instead looking down at his hands while he spoke,
"You never asked me anything and I appreciate it, but there are some things you
need to know. It is true I was raised on a ranch, well ever since I was nine
that is. My parents died and my uncle brought me with him to his ranch. I guess
I am grateful he did, but it wasn't easy."
Sean stopped to take another swallow of his lemonade then put his empty glass
down.
"My uncle seemed to hate me, treated me worse than his livestock. His ranch was
much larger than yours and that's how I learned to fix things, work with wood
and handle cattle and horses. He never allowed me to leave the ranch for more
than picking up supplies in the nearby town, let alone me going away for two or
three weeks. I guess I will manage, but I haven't exactly got the skills to
drive herds. Seems only fair to tell you. "
A hand landed on his shoulder, but there was no sign of pity in Ben's answer
and Sean was grateful for that.
"I'm glad you told me son. It's no problem; you will learn soon enough. Just be
prepared to learn the hard way. You'll be expected to do the cooking and any
other job they'll find for you to do, that's what happens to all first timers.
I can't protect you from that; it would only get worse if I did."
Again Sean blushed, "I can't cook either. My uncle had two Mexican women doing
all that and in all the time I lived there I was in the house maybe five times.
On my way here I realized that even if I shot a rabbit or something I could
probably skin it, but wouldn't know how to cook it. I can fire a gun, but can't
really hit a moving target either," he added, now he was at it.
Ben smiled at him, squeezing Sean's shoulder one more time, then dropping his
hand.
"Look Sean, the choice is up to you. While I am gone, my wife's brother will
come here to take care of the women; if you want you can stay and give him a
hand with the daily work. If you decide to come with me, you will have a hard
time, but a damned good one too. I mean I really love my life here, but those
weeks in the open air are second best."
"What about the cooking and stuff?" He had seen Ben shooting rabbits a few
times, delivered them at the kitchen door even, but still had no real idea what
happened between that and the spicy brown stew he got served much later.
"I will teach you to shoot and I am sure the wife will show you some basic
cooking skills. You're on your own for the rest. So what will it be, stay here
or go with me?"
"Can I ride my own horse?"
"Sure thing! That's a good horse and you take care of him very well. A man who
doesn't take care of his horse is no man, is what I say."
"Then I'll come with you."
"Good. Now let's get in and eat."
Sean had been starving earlier, but now he could hardly eat a bite. Becoming a
cowboy like Bill, Jack and Tom on his uncle's ranch was exciting. He wasn't
bothered by the idea of getting his ass kicked by the other men; he was used to
that. The thought of cooking seemed far scarier and he wasn't looking forward
to Mrs Graham's lessons either. He had to grudgingly admit he was a bit afraid
of her and the steady blue gaze of her eyes. When her husband asked her to show
Sean some outdoor cooking she had looked at Sean's blushing face for a
considerable time before she nodded, "Sure."
Early next morning Ben took him to hunt rabbits and after a while he got the
hang of it and managed to shoot two. It was fun, much more than he had expected
and he handed them over to Mrs Graham with barely hidden pride.
"These are good," she said appraisingly, "nice and fat. I'll show you later
today what to do with them."
He nodded; none too pleased at the prospect, and then turned around to leave.
"Sean?"
He turned back to look at her. All of a sudden she was startlingly close, so
close he could feel her breath on his skin. He would have stepped back if her
hand hadn't grasped his arm. Her breasts rose with the movement of her arm and
she suddenly seemed very young when she smiled at him.
"I am going to roast these rabbits, not you, you know."
***** Chapter 4 *****
They had been working on the tool shed all week, expanding it, so they would be
able to stock more dry wood come fall. Sean never had been very talkative, but
now he hardly spoke a word and Ben had asked him twice if anything was wrong,
which he'd denied.
For the first time he'd had to tell Ben a blatant lie, as he couldn't tell him
the truth. Worst thing of all was the shame he felt. The man had been really
good to him and even though the thought of betraying him disgusted Sean, he'd
had a very persistent hard on from the moment the woman had touched his arm and
it refused to lie down. He couldn't bring himself to look into Ben's eyes and
chopped trunks of wood almost ferociously.
It wasn't fair. He had behaved and never attempted to get any closer or say
more than 'good evening' or 'good night' to Ben's daughter, but he hadn't
expected he should be cautious with his wife, dammit. He told himself he could
have misunderstood and she had just tried to be friendly, but he was almost
sure that wasn't the case.
By the time Mrs Graham came out of the house, Sean was sweating profusely and
he hoped that would get her off his back. He followed her sullenly to the back
of the house, out of sight of Ben and the daughter who was playing her daily
routine on the old, battered piano according to the horrible sounds coming
through the open windows of the house.
He followed Mrs Graham's instructions, gathering wood, building a fire and then
watched her skinning a rabbit, so he could do the other one. He refused to look
at her, but he could feel her eyes on him and it made him clumsy enough to
almost cut off a finger with her big poacher's knife, but finally he managed to
get the job done.
She taught him to make a construction of wood, so he could roast the rabbits
and all the while she was much closer than he would have liked. It all seemed
to take hours and he only half listened to her explanation about stew, beans
and bread, too distracted by her hair tickling his bare arms. He was so tense
he almost jumped when she laid a hand on his thigh and he stared down at it. It
wasn't very clean and was rough from all the hard work, but it was still
unmistakably a female hand and it moved up his leg slowly. His throat was so
dry he couldn't even speak; he just shook his head and shoved her hand away.
"Sean, look at me," she said, her voice soft and pleading, and he forced his
eyes up, noticing the swell of her breasts, the softness of her blonde hair.
"Ben will never know, I promise."
Again he shook his head and cleared his throat, "I would know," he said and
then rose to his feet, determined not to sit down again. She fell silent for a
long time, and then she got up too, brushing tufts of dried grass from her long
skirt.
"Keep turning the rabbits, not long now though; they are nearly done,' and with
that she turned and walked away.
Sean let out a long breath, knowing very well it had been a narrow escape.
Later they ate the rabbits until there was nothing left and Sean, having dealt
with his not-so-small problem felt better until he looked up and saw the blue
eyes upon him again. That night in bed he was awake for a long time, again
almost painfully aroused. His only sexual experience with women had been with
the whore in that town where he'd ended up in the beginning and it had been
rough and brief. No one had ever really talked to Sean about sex. He knew
nothing more than the dirty jokes and whispered rumours he had heard on his
uncle's ranch. Still, he felt there must be more to it than just a pulled up
skirt and a rough coupling.
His eyes closed when he let go, allowing images of a naked Mrs Graham, long
hair falling over her full breasts. His hand closed around his dick and he
started jerking off, gasping as she lay down and slowly spread her legs. His
hand sped up and he came hard, spasms running through his body. After that he
was finally able to sleep.
It seemed as though in the following weeks, he lived in a permanent state of
arousal and Sean was glad when Mrs Graham ran out of excuses for being alone
with him. Once she had asked him how old he was and had laughed when he said he
was eighteen, then told him she was exactly twice his age, but that didn't
prevent her from touching him whenever she could.
He managed to stay out of trouble – barely – but the peace of mind he had known
in the beginning was gone. He felt trapped in the situation and knew he would
break one day if he stayed. He didn't tell Ben, but he made his mind up, he
wouldn't return here after the cattle drive.
All the time he had been here, Sean had never had the opportunity to spend a
single earned dime and by now he had enough money to keep him alive until he
found another job when they had delivered and sold the cattle. The thought of
leaving hurt, even more when he thought of telling Ben. He knew Ben would be
disappointed and would think him ungrateful, because he couldn't tell him the
truth. There was no other way though.
He was glad when the three men Ben had hired in town for the drive joined them
on the ranch a few days before leaving, together with Mrs. Graham's brother,
John. Sean suddenly had to share his room with the hired hands, but put up
easily with the teasing. He knew it would get worse later, when the men
wouldn't have to behave because of the women's proximity, but he could cope
with that. By now he was a decent shot and he was a reasonable cook, so it
would probably be okay.
He saddled an excited Apples the morning they left and filled his saddlebags.
He and Ben had stocked Ben's old wagon with food supplies, pots and pans and
whatever they could possibly need and picked out two of his best horses to draw
it.
He touched the brim of his hat in a polite greeting when the women came out of
the house to wave them off and for a brief moment Lena's eyes and his met. For
the first time he didn't look away but kept her gaze and an almost invisible,
triumphant smile tugged on the corner of his mouth.*I've won.*
The euphoric feeling disappeared when he turned in the saddle to look at the
ranch one more time though. *Yeah, maybe so, but at what cost?*
***** Chapter 5 *****
Maybe Sean's expectations had been coloured by the stories he had heard when he
was still living on his uncle's ranch, or the yearning in Ben's voice when he
talked about the cattle drive. The first few days weren't too bad, but then
they reached dry, desert-like land and from then on, time seemed filled with
noise and dust clouds. Because he was the youngest and inexperienced, they let
him ride at the tail of the herd and pretty soon every opening in his body was
filled with sand and dust, even the one he was sitting on.
He followed the others in tying a bandana around his face, which covered his
nose and mouth, and as much as he hated the feeling, it did help. By the time
they stopped for the nights he was exhausted and even though the other men
usually built the fire, he was expected to cook instead of sitting down smoking
and drinking like the others.
He had to get used to sleeping on the ground again and having no privacy at
all; he couldn't help wondering if this was all there was to it. There was
never any time to have a talk with Ben and the nights were short as he had to
get up first to fix them all breakfast.
Of the three hired hands, he liked Juan, the Mexican, best. He didn't speak
much, but it was a friendly silence, and every time Sean handed him a plate, he
bared dazzling white teeth beneath a dark moustache and thanked him. Bill
treated him like he was a pup; sometimes petted, sometimes kicked, mostly
ignored. Gil was a big, powerful guy, who looked as if he was born in the
saddle and seemed only happy when on it. On solid ground he was a grumpy
bastard and always on the lookout for things to complain about.
From day one he complained about the food; it was too cold, or too fat, too raw
or over cooked and Sean, working his ass off, hated him with every spark of
energy still left in his bruised and exhausted body.
He could see Ben wouldn't have wanted to intervene, and understood why, so he
somehow learned to live with it until the end of the first week when he
suddenly decided he had had enough.
After a particularly long day on which he had been cursed for letting one of
the calves wander away from the herd, he had warmed up the stew he'd prepared
the evening before and which had been simmering above the fire all night. He
was quite proud of himself, as it tasted damned good. They ate in silence, not
a sound apart from spoons scraping plates.
"That was a damned fine meal," Ben said, patting Sean on the shoulder.
"Si, good," Juan said, rewarding Sean with one of his grins.
"It was tasteless; didn't your mommy teach you to use spices?" Gil asked, and
then spat into the fire. Before Sean could even react, he got unexpected
support. It was Bill who gave Gil sitting next to him a shove.
"Leave the kid alone, he's done great. If you think you can do a better job,
then why don't you cook for fuck's sake?"
To Sean's surprise, Gil didn't protest and the muttering stopped, for that
evening at least. Sean still felt pissed off though, knowing all too well the
peace and quiet wouldn't last, that Gil would be on him again and even worse,
unless he did something to stop him. He had managed to stop his uncle, hadn't
he? Sure, Gil was a big guy, but Sean was much younger and he suspected three
times quicker. So what if Gil would beat him up afterwards? He was used to that
and he could take it. Maybe he could earn a bit of respect by throwing in a few
punches himself. That night, staring up at a few bright stars in the sky, Sean
made his plan.
When he awoke it was still dark. He crawled from underneath his woollen
blanket, shivering in the cool morning air. He spent a few minutes talking to
Apples, laying his face on the soft grey muzzle and then went to the small
spring to do his business and wash up. By the time he filled buckets of water
for the horses it was fully light and a bleak sun had appeared.
He squatted down to get the fire back to life and started heating the remains
of the stew. He greeted Ben who went for the spring himself and then sneaked
into the wagon, rummaging through supplies until he found what he was looking
for. He grinned, then grabbed a knife and carefully cut four large red chilli
peppers into the tiniest pieces, then gathered them in a mug. *You want spicy
food, you sonofabitch? Well, here you go!*
He kept to himself when the others awoke, just sat by the fire, stirring his
stew. When all had settled for breakfast Sean started piling the plates, laying
two lumps of bread on the edge of each plate. As soon as no one was looking at
him, he emptied the mug beside him onto a plate, spooning hot stew all over it,
giving it a quick stir, laying two lumps of bread next to it.
He handed it to Gil, who accepted it in grumpy silence and started to eat. Sean
filled his own plated then moved to sit next to Juan, which was as far away as
he could get from Gil. He pretended to eat, one eye carefully watching every
movement across the fire, ready to jump up and fight.
Nothing seemed to happen for the first few bites, than suddenly Gil made a
strange strangled sound and grabbed at his throat. His face turned fiery red
and Sean looked him in the face, unable to hide his triumphant grin. Then Gil
threw away his plate and made a run for the spring, cursing and yelling as he
did.
Everybody stared after him, except for Sean who now started eating his stew. He
was hungry enough to eat a horse and it tasted even better than last night.
"What the fuck…?" Bill said and then turned to Sean. "What did you do, kid?"
"Nothing, just spiced up his food," Sean said and shrugged.
"You've got cojones, amigo," Juan said, then he started to laugh and after a
pause the others fell in.
***** Chapter 6 *****
Somehow, Sean getting back at Gil got him fully accepted. The following morning
he was told to take the left side of the herd, while Bill went to the rear
willingly and from then on they changed places every few days.
Most amazing was that Gil never beat him up or anything, but apart from foul
looks, mostly ignored Sean. There was no more comment on the food; instead his
complaints seemed to be directed to the world in general now.
The day they reached the river was a good one. After endless days of dried
vegetation that was barely enough to keep them alive, the herd now grazed
happily on the sudden lush green meadows the river had provided here. Ben
decided they would stay the rest of the day, so men and animals could take a
breather.
The men yelled and dove into the cool water fully dressed, then stripped off to
their long johns, trying to wash out caked dirt and grime from jeans, shirts
and bandanas. They hung the clothes in bushes to dry then went back into the
river, playful as kids while washing themselves and their hair. Sean laughed
with the others, enjoying the camaraderie that even made Gil lose his normal
scowling expression.
Later they stretched out in the grass to allow the sun to dry them. Staring at
the sky, Sean sensed contentment inside of him like he'd never felt since he
was brought to the US, not even while living on Ben's ranch. Now that he had
found his place amongst the men, he suddenly began to understand what Ben had
meant when talking about the cattle drive. Life on the ranch seemed nice and
peaceful, but boring with hindsight. He was now more or less glad he wouldn't
return with Ben and thought how there must be hundreds of cattle drives and now
that he had more experience someone might even hire him.
*But not as a cook*, he thought when he got to his feet reluctantly to make
coffee. After he had handed the coffee kettle to Juan, he picked up his rifle
to try and shoot some rabbits, as there were likely to be plenty living here.
Ben, who sat dozing in the shadow of a thick bush, looked up when Sean passed.
"Hunting for rabbits?"
"Yeah."
"Mind if I come with you?"
"Sure."
They walked until they couldn't hear the others any more, and then knelt down
in the knee-high grass. They didn't have to wait long before rabbits and
prairie dogs came out of their hiding places and three shots later Sean could
collect two rabbits, twice the size of the ones he had shot on the drier
ground.
Ben slapped his shoulder as he picked up one of the rabbits.
"You're really a good shot now Sean; that will come in handy when we're back at
the ranch."
Sean carefully avoided looking at the older man while he slung the rifle over
his shoulder.
"I'm not going back with you Ben, I'm sorry. Please don't think I'm ungrateful,
because I'm not. I just think it's time for me to move on."
Ben's hand on Sean's arm, pulling him closer forced him to gaze up at him. Ben
looked worried and Sean tried to smile at him, but failed.
"Sean… Please sit down here for a minute. Let's talk about this."
Sean shrugged, but put down his rifle and sat down on a rock next to Ben.
"Look Sean, I've been thinking in the last few days. You are doing so well and
you've really grown into a decent man, someone I trust. If you should decide to
come back with me we'll give you a room in the house, no more sleeping in the
barn."
Sean opened his mouth to say something, but Ben raised his hand. "Please let me
finish. I know I told you on the first day to keep away from my daughter; I
know you did and I appreciate it, you being a young man and all. I would have
no problem at all, and I am sure my wife would agree as she seems to be very
fond of you too, if you and Madeline would get to know each other better now."
For a moment Sean was stunned, amazed that this kind man was offering almost
everything he had to give, including his daughter. At the same time naming his
wife brought back vivid images to Sean and he knew he couldn't accept, apart
from the fact that he never had been really interested in Madeline in the first
place. He slowly shook his head.
"I am sorry Ben, I can't. When we arrive in Fort Bunter I will try to find a
job with one of the herders there. I like being a cowboy."
"There are always a lot of men looking for a job Sean, tough, more experienced
men."
"I guess so. I just hoped you'd might put in a few words for me."
Ben nodded and got to his feet. "Sure, if that's what you really want I will.
Just remember this is only a small herd and a small group of men, it won't
always be like this. It's a tough and in many ways a lonely life and you're
still very young. These guys can be really rough and you'll be all on your own.
You will have to stand your ground."
"I know, but I think it'll be worth it in the end."
There was nothing more to say so they walked back in silence and Ben sat with
the other men. Sean was preparing the rabbits when Juan suddenly appeared, gave
Sean his big grin and started helping him.
"I'll teach you to cook Mexican food, si?"
"Like what?"
"Tortilla's with conejo and chilli," Juan kissed his own fingers.
"Sure," Sean agreed, glad for the company.
"Then when it's cooking you and I can take a walk, si?" Juan's eyes slid over
Sean's body in a way that made Sean realize he was still just wearing his long
johns and hat, but so was Juan and so were the others, so what was the big
deal?"
"Sure," he said again, wondering why the fuck Juan would want to have a walk
when he could finally be lazy for once, but he had always been nice to Sean, so
why not?
***** Chapter 7 *****
Juan really did know how to cook and Sean had to admit that whatever it was
called again, smelled great. He stirred it one more time and then followed
Juan, who started walking alongside the river. He caught Ben’s eyes and it
seemed like he was going to say something, but then he turned his head. Sean
felt sad, because he knew Ben was so very disappointed in him, but there was
nothing he could do about that. Ben would forget about him soon enough.
He didn’t feel like walking at all, but Juan had been really nice to him, had
helped him even. Sean noticed that the long days in the saddle had grown on
him, that he now seemed a bit weird on his feet and maybe he would end up like
Gil, more at home on four legs than on two. He grinned when he thought about
Gil, who ignored him completely. Still, sometimes Sean could feel his eyes on
him and he knew he should take care when they reached Fort Bunter and he would
be on his own.
He was lost in his thoughts so much that he nearly tripped over Juan, who had
sat down on the river bank and was pulling off his boots to stick his feet into
the water. Sean sat down beside him and followed his example. Even though late
in the afternoon, it was still very warm and the cool water felt great.
Juan looked at him, teeth glinting wolfishly underneath his drooping moustache.
“You have a girlfriend?”
”Me, a girlfriend? No.”
“But you have been with a woman, no? “
Sean looked down at his bare feet, trying to hide his blush.
“Yes.”
“Ben’s hija?”
No, a whore.”
“Ah, good, no problems with whores! When we come into town and I get my money,
I will go to the cantina and buy me two whores for the night.”
Sean said nothing, not willing to share his thoughts about how he would spend
his money.
“That’s what we cowboys do, amigo; drive cattle, earn some money then spend it
all on drinking and bad women.”
When Sean still said nothing, Juan turned slightly towards him. “It will be ten
days or even more before we’re there. How about you and I help each other out?”
Sean looked at the other man questioningly. He had no clue what Juan was
talking about. He blinked when a hand landed on his thigh, then travelled up to
rest on his crotch.
“What the fuck?” he shrieked and batted the hand away, “are you fucking crazy?”
“Hey, relax. There’s nothing wrong. If you don’t want it, too bad.”
“Of course I don’t want it,” Sean spat out, “nobody wants something like that,
except…”
Juan pulled his feet out of the water, wiping them dry on the grass. He seemed
not offended at all, even grinned.
“Ah, you’ll learn amigo. It’s good to have another hand on your bicho and if
there are no women around, a man’s hand will do just fine. We all do it,
sometimes even more than just hands.”
Sean stared at the other man speechless, unable to tell if he was lying or not.
“I am sure Ben doesn’t,” he said slowly, almost to himself.
“Oh him, no! Not Saint Ben, he keeps himself for his woman and who could blame
him? She moves like a bitch in heat. The rest of us do, even Gil. You’re young
and guapo and you’ll learn.”
He got up and pulled on his boots. “I will go check my conejo,” he said and
strolled away.
Sean waited until he was out of sight, before he stood and pulled his boots on
over still wet feet. His head was spinning, but he pushed the thoughts away as
he walked back to the camp. He didn’t look at Juan at all, just took his jeans,
which were still damp at the waistband, from the bush and put them on. After
that he felt better and went to see Apples, who neighed when he caught sight of
Sean. He laid his head against the big soft head, scratching it. After a while
he untied the rope from the tree and led Apples to the river, allowing the
horse to stand in the water and cool off.
They ate in silence, all drowsy after a day of unusual rest. As soon as it got
dark they all crawled into their bed rolls, except for Bill who sat by the
dying fire, playing his mouth organ. Sean couldn’t sleep, even though he kept
his eyes firmly closed. He listened to the melancholy tune, wondering at every
soft sound if something like Juan had described was happening and if it had
happened many times before, with him being totally oblivious.
He still felt it was all shocking and quite revolting, but he somehow kept
thinking about what Juan had said about another hand on your cock. Maybe he
should reconsider his determination to save all his money. Maybe he should
allow himself a bit of pleasure, because tonight his own hand didn’t seem
enough.
The following day it was back to business and this time Sean wasn’t offered any
help with cooking meals. Juan kept to himself and there were no more smiles or
passes made at Sean. Ben was as friendly as he always had been, but Sean knew
something had shifted in their relationship and he began to long for the
journey to end.
He had learned a lot and not just about cattle, cattle drives and horses.
Anyway, he would take advantage of what he knew now. Finding a new job, where
no one knew him, he could make a new start and could maybe shake off his
insecurity and be accepted as one of the men.
He pulled off his hat, waving it to get a stray cow back into the herd,
clutching the lasso in his other hand. He loved being a cowboy and he just knew
he would find that other job and all would be great.

*And no more fucking cooking.*
***** Chapter 8 *****
Two years later, Wyoming
Sean stopped early that day. He had nowhere special to go so he decided to try
and shoot a rabbit and have an early meal. Since he had found his first real
cowboy job at Fort Bunter, he had cooked just a few times and only then because
he had felt like it. Today he did feel like it.
He had been in Utah when the word was out that this guy Pritchard was looking
for men to drive this enormous herd to Montana and Sean had left for Wyoming
immediately. He had never been to Montana and he liked the idea of going there.
He didn’t get to meet Pritchard himself, but spoke to a guy called Jake, who
was in charge of hiring hands. He was one of these rough, bully type kind of
men, but Sean was used to that and really didn’t give a fuck as long as he got
the job. He did get the job all right, but then Jake had looked over Sean’s
shoulder to where Apples was tied to a tree.
“That your horse?”
“Yeah, what of it?”
“Go to the corral and pick out a horse. That one’s too old for a long drive
like that.”
Blood rushed to his head and Sean clenched his fists. “I ride my own horse,
always do and always will.”
“Not on this drive you won’t, take it or leave it,” the bastard said and Sean
had clenched his fists even tighter, turned round and gone away. Now he was
here in fucking Wyoming without a job, but at least still with his horse. Oh
well, he had enough money to live on until he’d found another job. If they
thought Apples too old for long drives, he would try the shorter ones, or even
find a job on a ranch; he could never leave Apples behind.
It was early summer, but already very warm. It probably hadn’t rained in years
here and the land was barren and dry. It took him some time to shoot a rabbit,
a skinny one and probably not very tasty, but big enough to fill his stomach.
The man seemed to come out of nowhere, hot air moving around him and his horse.
His light hat was pulled down low into his face, showing just a few sharp lines
and planes. The man touched the brim of his hat in a greeting, answering Sean’s
mumbled ‘howdy.’ His eyes kept looking straight forward but Sean still had the
distinct feeling he sniffed the air hungrily and Sean, who had been hungry
himself more than once, hesitated only a second.
“You want to share a bite?” he asked and the man stopped his horse and turned
around in the saddle. He lifted his hat from his face, wiped the sweat off his
brow and looked at Sean inquisitively. His eyes were startling blue in a tanned
face and he was far younger than Sean had expected, probably around Sean’s age.
“Don’t mind if I do,” the man finally said and jumped off his horse, leading
the bay towards Apples. He sat down on the other side of the fire and gave Sean
a tight smile. “That’s very decent of you, I am hungry. The name is Viggo.”
“Sean,” and then they tore of pieces of meat with their hands. Halfway through
Sean wiped his hands on the dry grass and got up to get the bottle of whiskey
he’d bought two days ago.
When there was nothing left but bones and only half a bottle of whiskey, Viggo
belched contently and stretched out on the ground, leaning on his elbow, “Much
obliged Sean! Are you from around here?”
Sean, who wasn’t the talkative kind to begin with and especially not around
strangers, surprised himself by telling about the job and why he had turned it
down. Viggo didn’t mock him as he had been afraid he would, just looked at
Apples and nodded appreciatively.
“Are you a cowboy?” Sean asked, because Viggo certainly looked like one.
“I can be, but at the moment I am kind of at a loose end,” which was a strange
answer, but Viggo didn’t expand on it, so Sean handed him the whiskey once
more. By the time the sun set they were both soaked and Viggo was telling
colourful tales that made Sean laugh louder than he had done in years. Later
when the bottle was empty and their bladders full, they walked a few hundred
yards, holding each other up and pissed. After that they took their bed rolls
and made ready for the night, each on one side of the fire.
It cooled off really fast and Sean wrapped himself in tightly. Somehow his head
had got kind of clear again and he couldn’t sleep. For the first time in years
he felt like maybe he had found a friend and he liked that, but he was thinking
about tomorrow, when they would both go their own way. He could make out
Viggo’s profile, framed by the light of the fire, looking up at the stars in
the sky and Sean turned to his back and did the same and finally fell asleep.
The next thing he knew he was being prodded with a booted foot, and he sat up
and yelped. Viggo leaned over him; a big grin on his face.
“Fuck! What you do that for?”
“Get you awake; we gotta be going.”
“Going where?”
“There’s a town called Big Pine about three hours riding from here. Thought I’d
buy you a meal and some drinks there.”
The town was only a small place, but the saloon was crowded and noisy. They
played cards and had a few drinks with a big guy called Moose, who seemed to
have either a lucky hand or was a clever cheat. While he stacked away the money
he won, he told them about the ranch he worked and that they needed men for
branding the cattle.
They followed him to the ranch, which was not that far from town and had
settled in within hours. The work was hard in the heat, which increased daily,
but the money and food was good. For Sean, best of all was having Viggo around
as they seemed to grow closer every day. Sean had never had a real friend
before and he dreaded the day work would be done.
By the end of their first week, on their day off, they rode back to town again
and he asked Viggo hesitantly where he would go after the work was done.
Viggo turned to look at him, squinting against the sun, “Going back to what I
did before, I guess. Care to join me? We seem to be getting along just fine,
and I’d like to have a partner.”
Sean almost said ‘yes’ immediately, but then a question rose, “What was it you
did before then?”
Viggo kept looking at him, not a hint of a smile on his face and Sean could see
he was serious.
“I’m a horse thief.”
***** Chapter 9 *****
"I'm a horse thief."
Sean stared at the other man incredulously. "You're kidding me, right?"
"No, I am not."
"You must be out of your mind; they hang you for that!"
Viggo grinned. "They will have to catch me first. I was barely sixteen when I
stole my first horse and I am still alive."
"Is that what you were up to when we met, stealing horses?"
"No, I was just trying to get to Big Pine before dark to get something to eat.
I wasn't planning on stealing your horse, if that's what you think."
"I'd like to see you try," Sean spat at him.
"Come on Sean, I never stole a horse like that. I go to the big ranches,
preferably to try to find some work there for a few days so I know what's going
on. By the time I leave, I take a horse with me and sell it as soon as I get
the chance. There are enough people willing to buy a horse for not too much
money with no questions."
Sean still stared at him and Viggo sighed. "Look Sean, I am sorry if I fucked
things up by telling you. It's just that these rancheros get richer every day,
because guys like you and me are busting our asses for them. They pay us next
to nothing and laugh at us behind our backs. I figured that out soon enough. In
between jobs I take time off, paid for by them. I figure they don't even
notice."
"And you want me to be your partner?"
"Yes, as I said we seem to get along fine and you have a way with horses, just
like me. I bet we'd be a great team."
"So they'll hang us together, you mean."
Viggo shrugged. "Well, at least we would have had a fun time, Sean, because it
would be fun."
Sean shook his head. "I need to think it over."
"Sure, I understand."
Thinking about it was almost impossible in the crowded saloon, but as soon as
Sean crept into his bedroll that night, it all came back. Viggo had said
nothing about the subject again, and Sean hadn't asked him. It was not the
immoral aspect of it that bothered him so much, Sean admitted to himself. The
idea that they might get caught weighed much heavier. He tried to remember all
the ranches he had been to in the last couple of years, and had to agree it
probably would have been easy to steal a horse on every one of them, especially
when preparing for a cattle drive.
If he did it, if he agreed to this, he would lead a life much more dangerous.
But on the other hand, it would be much more exciting, too. He wouldn't be
alone anymore either. Sean hadn't really felt lonesome before he had met Viggo.
He knew he would be if Viggo left.
His mind drifted off to the past evening, how he had not really got into the
drinking and all. Instead he had watched Viggo drinking and talking with the
other men, and having fun with the whores: pinching a thigh here and stroking a
big tit there. He had expected Viggo to go up with one or two of the girls at
some point, but he hadn't. Sean had been glad Viggo hadn't, even though he
didn't know why he felt that way, but he didn't go up with one of them either.
He didn't bother to find out if Viggo was still awake, just blurted the words
out: "If I do it, can we go back to Pritchard's ranch to steal a horse there?
You know where they told me App.. my horse is too old?"
Apparently Viggo was still awake, as he sat up and laughed. "Sure we can! Let's
rob the sonofabitch!"
"Okay then."
"Great! G'night partner."
In the bright morning light, Sean didn't feel so brave anymore, and he couldn't
imagine himself stealing a horse. Still, he had told Viggo he was in, and
pulling back now would make him look like a coward. His only hope was that it
would take some time before they would actually do it, so that he could get up
his courage and either ride with Viggo, or tell him he changed his mind.
Three days later, their work on the ranch was done and after receiving their
pay they walked to their horses. Viggo grinned at him, clasping his shoulder.
"Let's do it tonight Sean. There'll be a lot of coming and going with all the
hired hands leaving; it will be perfect."
*Now?* He wanted to ask, but then he looked into Viggo's eager face and knew
this was decision time. "Okay," he said, but something in his voice made Viggo
look at him closer.
"If you don't want to Sean, its fine, I'll go alone."
"Nah, I want to. I am just a bit edgy, that's all."
"It's still early, let's take some food from here, go to the river and cool
off, okay?"
It was an extremely warm day, even for this part of the country. They led the
horses into the stream, allowing the beasts to drink and bathe. Both men
started stripping off their clothes. Sean stopped at his long johns, but
followed suit when he saw Viggo pulling his off until he was stark naked.
Jumping into the cool stream was wonderful, much better without any clothing at
all. For a while they played, throwing water at each other. Then Viggo dove
under water, elegant and smooth, and grabbed Sean's ankles to pull him off his
feet. Sean came up slightly panicked, spitting out a gush of water. Viggo held
him up by his arms, grinning when Sean scowled at him.
"Can't you swim Sean? You want me to teach you? It's easy." He held Sean by the
waist, telling him how to move his arms and his feet. Sean tried to do what
Viggo told him, but the proximity of Viggo's body, his hands on Sean, was all
very disturbing and distracting, making him think about that fucking Juan, who
had put those thoughts into his head in the first place.
"I am out," he said to Viggo, "I've got a cramp." He waded to the shore and sat
down in the grass, pretending to massage his foot. He looked up when Viggo's
shadow fell over him.
"Let me." Viggo dropped to his knees, then grabbed Sean's foot and started
working on it with strong hands. Even in the cool water Sean had been hard and
now heat was spreading from his belly, making his cock swell even more. The way
Viggo's fingers pressed into the sole of his foot seemed to make things even
worse, and Sean bit his lip, struggling to not make the sound that still
escaped when Viggo's hand trailed up his leg, and stroked the inside of Sean's
thigh.
"Sean?" Viggo asked, and he looked reluctantly into the blue eyes, cursing the
blush he felt creeping up. Viggo's hand stilled as if he was waiting for
permission, then something in Sean's face made the hand move again and close
around Sean's cock.
Sean gasped, spreading his trembling legs unconsciously to give those strong
fingers better access. No one else had ever touched him in such a delicious
way, and Sean helplessly fucked that fist, bucked up into it, no longer caring
about the sounds he made. The moment Viggo's other hand reached underneath to
stroke Sean's balls it was too much and he came, almost choking on his own
cries.
He slumped down on his back, fighting for breath. Viggo, still on his knees,
was fisting his own cock now, using the hand slick with Sean's come. All of it
was almost enough to get Sean hard again; the expression on Viggo's face, the
wet sounds his hand made on his dick, and Sean groaned.
Viggo obviously didn't expect him to return the favour and for a long moment
Sean was sorry, wished it was his hand Viggo now spurted over, that he had been
the one making Viggo cry out like that.
***** Chapter 10 *****
There was nothing awkward between them afterward. Sean followed Viggo back into
the river to clean up, and later they shared dinner. Viggo had been the same as
always, and Sean let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. He wasn't
sorry for what happened, not at al, and already he was wondering if it would
happen again, or if Viggo had just been horny and took what he could get. At
least they were still friends and Sean was glad for that.
He tried to concentrate on what Viggo was telling him while they ate, about how
they would go to work to steal the horses, but he was strangely distracted by
the movements of Viggo's hands, as if they were still on his body instead of
gesturing in the air.
He was hard again, but his erection wilted soon enough when Viggo said they
should go. Now his anxiety was back. Before mounting Apples, he stroked the
soft flanks, worrying idly what would become of the horse if he and Viggo would
get caught.
It was only a short ride in the half-dark and they were already close to the
ranch when Viggo made his horse go slower to ride next to Sean.
"You okay?"
"Yeah. What's your horse called?" Sean asked, not knowing where that came from,
but it suddenly bothered him that he didn't know.
Viggo blinked, and then grinned. "Indio, why?"
Sean shrugged, "Don't know, just asking."
They tied up the horses to a group of trees just behind the house. Viggo had
been right saying it would be a coming and going; tomorrow the big cattle drive
would start and there were people all over. It was easy to see how this was
preferable to an almost deserted place; they would go up into the big group of
cowboys, especially as most of them were drunk. They would lose their job if
they would get drunk during the drive, so this was their last opportunity and
they sure made use of it.
"Looks like those cowboys are all roostered up," Viggo drawled, "it must be our
lucky night!"
There were several people in the big corral, but no one they knew and no one
seemed to pay any attention to them, so Viggo just opened the fence and they
walked inside.
Sean almost jumped out of his skin when a raw voice shouted at them: "Hey you
two! Go get a saddle from the barn first!"
It was one of the men standing in the corral and even though he had already
turned his back to them again, Viggo touched the brim of his hat politely. They
left the corral and walked to the barn a few hundred yards farther. To their
relief, the barn was deserted, and Viggo grinned when they each picked up a
saddle from the pile on the floor.
"That's mighty kind to give us the saddles with it!" he said, and winked at
Sean, who was too nervous for jokes and scowled at him. "Don't worry Sean, it
will be a lick and promise."
In the corral, they saddled two horses. Sean, too nervous to make a choice
himself, accepted the grey mare Viggo pointed at and saddled her clumsily. His
hands were sweating and he cursed, but then finally got it done. They led the
horses out of the corral and mounted them. It was tempting to give the horse
the spurs and get the hell out of here, but instead he followed the calm gait
of Viggo's horse.
When they reached their own horses, Viggo jumped off, untied them, and handed
Sean Apple's reins. They kept the same slow pace until they were over the
nearest hill and couldn't see the ranch anymore. Viggo turned around to look at
Sean, and let out a triumphant yell.
"We'll have to find a place to stay the night, it's getting dark. We leave at
first light tomorrow."
"Okay."
They found a rock formation where they could more or less hide the horses and
settled in for the night.
"One of us must stay up and keep guard; the other one can take over some time
during the night," Viggo said.
"I'll take the first watch," Sean said, knowing all too well he wouldn't be
able to sleep.
"Okay," Viggo said, stretching out and laying his hat over his face, then
lifting it up again. "What did I say Sean? A lick and promise! Still, it won't
be always like that and you'd better keep that in mind. Beginner's luck,
probably."
Sean grunted in answer, and then sat down near the small fire they made. Now
that it was all over, he thought about what they just did. He had expected to
feel scared and he had been, but not as much as he thought. Of course Viggo was
right and this had been an easy one, but still. What he didn't expect was the
way he felt now, strangely elated and full of energy. Almost like he wanted to
shake Viggo awake and say: "Come on, let's go and steal two more," which would
be fucking stupid. He wouldn't mind Viggo awake for another reason too, because
he had an insistent hard-on that refused to lie down, and he hadn't forgotten
today's afternoon delight.. Viggo was very much asleep, though, and probably
not in the mood for any of it.
Very early next morning they were on their way. Sean had still wanted to go to
Montana, but Viggo said it would get cold there soon and they'd better head
south to Utah. It occurred to Sean that Viggo seemed to take the lead in
everything they did and maybe he should stand up for himself more, but for now
things were going smoothly, so why complain?
They managed to sell both horses for a reasonable price to a small ranch owner
they met in a saloon on the way down. They had a fun time spending some of the
money on alligator boots for Sean, a hat and jeans for Viggo, a few bottles of
whiskey, food supplies and a bag of apples for the horses.
That night they held their own private party, and after half a bottle of
whiskey, Sean was bold enough to unbutton Viggo's jeans and give him a proper
hand job.
***** Chapter 11 *****
Sean learned soon enough Viggo had been right when he said stealing horses
wasn't always that easy. During the last two months or so they went out for
horses three times. The first time, they succeeded, but they had to wait until
dark to get in. One of the horses they took had been a magnificent black
stallion with a temper like the Devil himself.
It took Viggo three days to subsequently shout and sweet talk the beast into
submission, and by then Viggo had grown too fond of him to sell him. They had
to finally bring the stallion back in the middle of the night to that same
ranch, because they saw no other solution. Even Viggo had to admit he couldn't
ride two horses at a time, and he didn't want to sell Indio either. Besides,
the stallion was a precarious animal to ride, so it was all for the best.
The second time, the horses were too well guarded and they decided to not push
their luck. The third time they ended up with only one horse, because they were
disturbed and had to get away. Still, Viggo had been right saying it would be
fun, because fun it was. They bonded like Sean had never before with anyone
else. He didn't need whiskey anymore to give Viggo a hand whenever he needed,
and he welcomed Viggo's hands on him eagerly.
Earlier this week, they heard about this fairly large ranch about eight miles
south. They headed there today and hoped they would be hired, make some money
and get acquainted with the surroundings and the horses.
They stayed overnight in an open space surrounded by rocks, and it was nice and
cool. When they left it was near to noon, reluctant to go into the heat. They
led the horses down a winding path into a canyon. Viggo was way out in front of
Sean, his hat dangled on his back. Sean heard the mountain lion before he saw
it, suddenly appearing right in front of him and the horse. The big cat ducked
flat to the ground and hissed. It was enough to startle Apples, making him buck
and stumble over some loose rocks. Sean was thrown off, hitting his head hard
on a piece of rock. He leaped to his feet and ran to Apples, who had fallen and
rolled down a gully a few hundred yards.
Apples tried to get up, but it was clear he couldn't. Sean winced when he saw
one of the horse's legs already swelling up. He didn't look up when he heard
Viggo approaching. Didn't turn to look at him when he squatted down and laid a
hand on Sean's shoulder.
 
"Sean.. it's hopeless."
"I know."
"You want me to do it?"
"No!" He almost shouted but when Apples neighed softly he lowered his voice.
"Go," he said to Viggo, I need to be alone."
Viggo nodded, squeezed Sean's shoulder. Then he turned and walked away.
The shot echoed through the canyon, causing birds to fly up. Still clutching
his gun, Sean started running down, cursed when Viggo blocked his way and
grabbed him by the arm. He tried to shake him off, tried to shove him away and
almost succeeded, but then Viggo got him from behind, wrapped his arms around
Sean's waist. His arms flailing, Sean tried to hit him, felt a powerful surge
of red heat, making him kick his boots backwards. A voice he barely recognized
as his own, demanded to be let go, but Viggo didn't budge. Finally their
wrestling brought them to the ground, Viggo's arms tightened even more around
him and suddenly the fight was out of Sean. He let himself be turned in Viggo
arms, pressed against Viggo's chest, and then he was crying like a baby. He
cried until the front of Viggo's shirt was soaked, and his tears dried up. Sean
pulled himself away, embarrassed, and tried to get his voice to work so he
could apologize, but Viggo wouldn't let him.
"I know you loved that horse, so why not show it. It happened to me and hell, I
cried. Get my canteen and wash your face while I bring your stuff over here."
Sean threw some water over his face, then rubbed it dry on his sleeve. He felt
exhausted now, and cold, which was weird on a hot day like this. When Viggo got
back Sean stood leaning against a rock, shivering violently. Viggo made Sean
sit down with a blanket wrapped around him, then started to build a fire.
Sean tried not to look at the vultures that were circling the sky, tried not to
think about what they were there for, while he sipped the strong coffee Viggo
made. Viggo didn't say anything, just sat next to him, and after a while, the
coffee warming him inside, Sean started to speak.
He told Viggo all from the beginning, about his life in England, what he
remembered of it anyway, and about his parents dying. Now that he started
talking, he seemed unable to stop, words flowed as freely as his tears had
done. Viggo's jaw clenched when Sean told about his uncle, and for a brief
moment Sean wondered what Viggo's story was, but knew this was not the time to
ask.
They went to bed early, and Sean was grateful for Viggo lying next to him, not
on the other side of the fire like he usually did. He fell asleep almost
immediately.
When Sean opened his eyes it was dark, but the embers of the fire were still
glowing. He started thinking about Apples lying there and it made him feel so
empty and alone that he moved closer to Viggo and laid a tentative arm around
him. He took in Viggo's scent, snuggling a bit closer until Viggo stirred and
woke up.
"You okay?" he mumbled sleepily.
"Yeah, am sorry to wake you."
"S'okay Sean."
Viggo rolled to his side so they faced each other. Sean searched for words,
wanting to let Viggo know how much he appreciated all he had done for him
today. Suddenly Viggo's mouth closed over his. For a moment Sean froze, but
then he answered the kiss and opened up for Viggo's probing tongue invading his
mouth. They kissed deeply and Sean's arm tightened around Viggo, pulling him
closer. They moved against each other frantically, creating a wonderful sweet
friction. Viggo fumbled to open Sean's fly and between the two of them they
managed, without stopping the kiss.
Viggo's hand around his cock felt good, but somehow not enough, and Sean bucked
up so he could rub himself against the rough fabric of Viggo's jeans. Breaking
the kiss, Viggo cursed and sat up. He looked down at Sean for a long moment,
then pulled away the blanket and tugged down Sean's jeans until they was
bunched around his ankles. He pulled off one of Sean's boots and yanked a jeans
leg over a bare foot.
"Turn over," he ordered, and Sean scrabbled to his knees, too aroused to let
his fear get the better of him. He could hear Viggo rummage through the
saddlebag he used for a pillow; then something slick drizzled into his crack.
It hurt like hell, but Sean still tried to relax, grateful for the pain and the
feel of Viggo inside of him. A slow but persistent pressure, then Viggo was in
all the way. He paused until Sean gritted his teeth and started to push back.
Pulling out almost all of the way, Viggo slid back in again, slowly building up
a rhythm. A hand bit into Sean's hips, pulled him up and closer as the other
hand pushed his face down to the ground.
His cries smothered by the blanket, Sean let Viggo ride him, trembled
underneath him, blinding white shock every time Viggo hit something buried deep
inside of him. Viggo's hand closed around Sean's cock, stroked him relentlessly
until he came, drawing Viggo deep down with him.
 
*******************************
 
They packed their things very carefully next morning, so it could be all tied
onto Indio. They didn't speak, but there was no need for it. Finally, Viggo
mounted Indio, then stretched out a hand to Sean to help him onto the horse.
"Come on Sean, let's go get you a horse."
***** Chapter 12 *****
Arizona, two months later.
Sean squinted against the relentless sun, pulling his hat lower over his eyes.
Sweat was trickling from his hair, adding to the river running down his back.
It had been like this for three weeks now, 'hot as a whorehouse on nickel
night,' Viggo had said earlier this week.
They had been lucky to find a river, even though it was reduced to a small
stream now, and they were keeping close to it so they could survive. Colt
snorted beneath him and sniffed the air, letting Sean know he wanted water.
Colt was quite a horse, and even though he wasn't Apples and Sean hadn't
forgotten, he had grown fond of him. He was paid for, not stolen. Viggo had
said Sean shouldn't ride a stolen horse as his own, that it would be starting
out on the wrong foot and Sean had agreed. It had been Viggo who had picked
Colt out, saying that the palomino seemed to be pining over something and that
he and Sean would make a good pair.
At that particular moment, Sean didn't care, wanted a horse just because he
needed one and he and Colt regarded each other with barely hidden contempt.
Still, after a few days they grew accustomed to each other and Sean couldn't
help noticing that Colt was quite clever, seemed susceptible to Sean's moods
and had something that felt almost like a sense of humour. Viggo really had
made a good choice and again Sean thanked his good fortune that he had asked
Viggo to share his meal that day.
Sean turned halfway round to look at Viggo and grinned at him. They had grown
so close in these last weeks. The intimacy still sometimes scared Sean, but it
did feel good not to be alone. Apart from that, Viggo was as close as a
brother, even though Sean had never had one.
The one thing still bothering him, he pondered as he led Colt to the river, was
Viggo taking the lead in everything. Basically he decided where they would go,
which ranches they would work and what horses they would steal. Even worse, he
took the lead in everything that happened between them and even though Sean
liked it all – very much so – he wouldn't mind getting a go at Virgo's ass for
once. *Tonight,* he told himself, while he jumped off Colt's back, *tonight, I
will have him,* and he grinned again when he saw Viggo following his trail.
Earlier today, they had come across a small farmhouse, its live stock as
scrawny as the occupants of the small battered homestead and they had bought
dried meat and a big hen that was tied to Virgo's horse now, but would soon
serve as dinner.
Sean started looking for wood and then built a fire, while Viggo drenched
Indio. Sean roasted the chicken, efficiently killed and plucked by Viggo and
soon enough they enjoyed their unusual meal. Afterwards they went into the
river to wash off the dust, sweat and grease. They sat naked in the grass, not
bothering to dress once they dried off, as it was still very warm.
Sean looked at Viggo a few times, wondering how to bring up the subject,
cursing himself for shying away, then finally started some small talk. Of
course Viggo didn't buy it and he frowned at Sean, while he rolled them both a
cigarette.
"Quit beating the devil around the stump, Sean. What's eating you?"
Sean shrugged, accepting the cig, taking a long draw, determined not to look at
Viggo,
"Well, I thought that maybe this time I could do you, instead of..," his voice
trailed off and he studied the dry grass beneath his feet, trying to force back
a blush that he should have lost ten years ago.
There was a long silence and Sean steeled himself to not say, 'Okay, forget it,
I am fine with how it is,' when Viggo softly chuckled and laid a hand on Sean's
arm.
"Fair enough Sean, okay."
That's when he really got nervous, as he had really expected Viggo to put up a
fight. Still, the thought of having Viggo, of actually fucking him, was
arousing enough for him to forget his anxieties. It was still broad daylight,
but who could see them here, so he ran a finger up Viggo's naked thigh and then
a more persistent finger on the inside, where the hairs were still a bit wet
from his bath.
Suddenly, he could wait no longer and stretched out his hand to push Viggo down
onto his back. Sean crawled on top of him, licked and then bit Viggo's neck,
revelling in the sounds he got from him and then urged him to turn over.
He grabbed Viggo's saddlebag, fumbling for the small bottle of gun oil Viggo
kept in there. Sean slicked his cock, drizzled a small stream of oil into
Viggo's crack and lined up. He forced himself to go slow, knowing all to well
how much it hurt and distracting himself by burying his face in the nape of
Viggo's neck.
It was even better than he'd expected, Viggo being so tight and pliant beneath
and around him. It felt wonderful, moving together like this, the sun still
burning on his back, a faint noise coming from the river. Sean felt heady and
in control, very much like herding big cattle, and he had to bite back the urge
to roar in victory, while he thrusted into Viggo's compliant body.
Viggo crying out underneath him made Sean want to see Viggo's face while he
took him and he pulled out, hands sliding under Viggo's body to turn him over
again. Now it was even better, fucking Viggo like this while he could look at
him, the way his eyes darkened, the way he pleaded with Sean for harder, for
more.
Later they smoked another cigarette, still naked, still close to each other.
"Was that your first time?" Sean asked, worried by the look on Viggo's face.
Viggo gave him one of his tight smiles and shook his head.
"I wished, Sean, but no, it wasn't."
***** Chapter 13 *****
Sean didn't want to push, knowing from experience that it didn't work on him,
so it probably wouldn't work on Viggo either. Only when it got dark and they
settled down for the night, did Viggo seem more at ease. What had started out
of comfort when Apples died had become a pleasant habit; they kept sleeping
close to each other now, without talking about it.
Sometimes it cooled off very rapidly with nightfall, but not tonight. It was
still very warm and Sean felt wide awake. He looked at Viggo, his profile lit
by the fire. His eyes were closed, but Sean wasn't fooled; he knew Viggo wasn't
asleep.
He thought about how Viggo had handled him that awful day and how things would
have been if he hadn't, how he might have done himself harm. It had helped to
talk about it, as if something that had always kept him restricted was suddenly
gone. Sean knew Viggo had a story to tell, had always expected that somehow,
but it had seemed easier for both not to ask. Now he knew he had been wrong and
that Viggo needed to talk about it as much as he had and fuck it if he would
get angry. For a long time Viggo had treated him like being between hay and
grass, but that was over. He was a man now and he could deal with it.
He turned from his back onto to his side so he was facing Viggo, and then
cleared his throat,
"So tell me about it Vig. Don't you think it's about time?"
Viggo sighed and his eyes opened, but he didn't turn towards Sean and kept his
gaze on the dark sky.
"You're sure you wanna know? It's not a pretty story."
"I reckoned it wouldn't be. Yes, I do wanna know."
Viggo shifted uneasily and Sean moved in closer until there were just a few
inches between them. Viggo's voice was soft and strangely monotonous as if he
was stripped of emotions and this wasn't about him, but somebody else's story.
"My mother was a whore and worked in a saloon. I don't know who my father was
and I think she had no idea either. She didn't treat me bad or anything, but
she was basically not real interested in being a mother. She never planned it
and she did try to get rid of me while she was pregnant, but that didn't work
out. I must have been a stubborn bastard in the womb already, I guess. Still,
my childhood wasn't too bad and I was like a pet for most of the other girls.
I was thirteen when she died. She had been sick for a while and then one
morning I found her dead. We lived in two small rented rooms, and there was no
way I could stay there. One of the other saloon girls took me with her out of
pity, but made it clear that was only temporary.
Three days later, the town's reverend came to collect me and took me to this
man waiting outside. He told me the man would take care of me from now on and
that I should be grateful and work very hard for him to earn my daily food and
bed. I disliked the guy immediately, but what could I do? Before I knew it I
was on the wagon seat next to him and we were off.
We travelled for three days and the land got more and more desolate every day.
I wanted to run, but I didn't know where to go and how to take care of myself,
so I stayed.
Finally we reached our destination, a small farmhouse practically in the middle
of nowhere. There I was handed to the owner, an ugly looking bastard called
Weller. I stood there, looking at his few miserable goats and chickens, feeling
exhausted and shit scared. Weller handed the other man a few nickels before he
took off and I realised I'd been sold like I was an animal."
Viggo sat up and reached out beside him to drink from his canteen. The fire had
almost died, but what he could still see of Viggo's face told Sean the worst
was yet to come. He sat up too and took a swig from Viggo's canteen when
offered.
"There was a girl in the house, skinny like a mouse and terrified of Weller.
Once a month there were goods delivered and in the meantime she was to clean,
cook, take care of the animals. I don't know if he slept with her, but he sure
did beat her when she done wrong in his eyes. She never dared to speak to me,
'cause he told her that first day she shouldn't.
Of course I expected him to make me work and that he did, long days in the
blazing sun, beating me up if I slackened. Much worse was what he did with me
in the evenings. I won't go into details, but he was a sick pervert. I wanted
to run, but there was nothing to run to. He had only one horse and I'd never
been on a horse. So I stayed and tried to fight him in the beginning. He seemed
to like that and I had no chance of winning. When I realised that, I stopped
fighting him, shutting my mind and body off as much as I could every time he
came near me and it made him furious. Instead of beating me he used a whip and
I swear there were times I wished he would kill me, so it would all be over."
Again he reached for his canteen and Sean, fighting off nausea after hearing
Viggo's story, wrapped an arm around his shoulders. For a moment it felt like
Viggo would pull away, but then he gave in and leant against Sean's shoulder.
His next words were barely more than a whisper and Sean had to move even closer
to hear them.
"Then came Nate and everything changed."
***** Chapter 14 *****
"Then came Nate and everything changed."
 
Viggo stayed silent for some time and Sean gave him a little squeeze, convinced
it was better to deal with it all, now that he had started telling. "Nate?" he
asked.
Viggo sighed and cleared his throat, "I had lost track of time and really
didn't care much how long I was there. I was just trying to find the courage to
run off, knowing I would probably die before finding another house or
settlement. Then this one afternoon, the guy who had brought me there came
back. For a long, wild moment when he stopped in front of the house, I thought
he had come to take me back, away from there, but then he opened the back of
the wagon and lifted out a small kid, tied up like a piece of meat and my heart
sank.
Nate was twelve at the time, but he looked even younger. He was small, scrawny
and he was very dirty. Still, he had the face of an angel and when Weller
handed over some coins I knew what would happen to the poor kid.
As soon as the car drove off, Nate was told to clean himself up at the outside
pump, and when he didn't move fast enough, received a hard cuff around the
ears. He was put to work immediately and I tried to help him wherever I could,
without being too obvious so Weller wouldn't notice.
Later, I was told to share my room inside the house with Nate from now on. The
room was nothing more than a large closet really, but I was more than happy
sharing. As soon as we were locked in I tried to gain Nate's trust, and soon
enough he told me how he'd got here. He had been in an orphanage and was told a
few days ago he had been 'adopted' by this fine gentleman, who would take care
of him. Like me, he hated the guy at first sight and had tried to make his
escape as soon as they stopped for the night, but he didn't get far and got
spanked and tied up instead. He was such a brave little kid, Sean and I felt I
had to warn him of what would inevitably happen."
Viggo's voice broke, and Sean pulled him even closer and then reached out to
pick up the half full bottle of whiskey, handing it to Viggo, who took a large
swig before speaking again.
"Of course he didn't believe me at first, was disgusted by the idea and then
stated he would kill anyone who would even try. It wasn't long before Weller
came in to fetch him and honestly Sean, I begged him not to, offered myself
even, but he wouldn't listen and dragged Nate out. That was a horrible night; I
didn't sleep a wink as I could hear Nate screaming at first and then crying.
When he was finally brought back, he refused to talk to me and it took several
days before he did again.
However bad things were, at least we were together now and we soon grew very
close. Being two years older, I felt responsible for him as if he was the
little brother I never had. Weller had lost his interest in me sexually. He now
only focused on poor Nate. Every moment Nate and I were alone, we started
scheming, making wild plans to escape, trying to keep our hopes up.
From the beginning I noticed he wasn't very healthy. He coughed a lot, and had
a fever several times; one time even so bad that Weller let him stay in our
room instead of making him work. It didn't stop him at night though and soon
after that Nate weakened by the day. He was even skinnier than he had been and
despite working outside he looked terrible pale. One morning he couldn't get to
his feet when Weller came to get us and I begged the bastard to get a doctor or
take him to one, but he flat out refused.
That night Nate was delirious and didn't recognise me. I held his flailing
arms, trying to calm him down, but had to finally call out for help until
Weller came in and dragged him out of the room. I sat up all night, hoping
Weller had gone out on his horse to fetch a doctor.
I had finally dozed off a little at dawn, when Weller came in again, refusing
to answer my questions, instead ordered me outside. I remember like it was
yesterday, standing outside, looking around me for Nate, when Weller handed me
a spade. I looked at him and then back at the spade, unable to understand and
then he laughed."
'That little bastard was your friend, wasn't he? So it's only fair you should
dig him a grave.'
I don't remember much of what happened next, but there was something like a red
mist around me and I must have hit him hard with the spade, only stopped
hitting him when the girl ran out of the house and pulled me off. There was a
lot of blood and maybe he was dead, I don't know, haven't checked and still
don't care.
I did dig that grave and buried Nate, who I found laying dead in the kitchen.
The girl, I found out later her name was Mary, helped me do it. We left Weller
lying there and I took out the horse from the stable. Weller had made me saddle
it maybe a hundred times, so I had no trouble with that. I ordered Mary to pack
as much food and water as we could take with us and take every bit of the money
she could find. We mounted the horse and we rode off without once looking back.
We reached the nearest town in about four days, falling off more than once, our
knees chafed, thighs and asses bruised, but we still made it. That's how I
learned to ride a horse, learned to love them the hard way.
There was nothing Mary and I had in common, apart from escaping from hell. She
didn't tell me her story and I didn't tell her mine. She chose to stay in that
town. We split the money and I spent some of it on trading Weller's horse for
another one, wanting to shed every memory of the past months and then I left.
From then my life followed a similar path to yours, I guess."
Picking up the bottle, Viggo took another large swig and swallowed. Another
long silence hung between then, before Sean laid a hand on Viggo's face and
turned it towards his.
"I am so ashamed now for feeling sorry for myself. That's horrible Vig, and I
am so sad for you."
"No Sean, don't feel that way. Isn't it amazing that we found each other? Makes
you believe in something, and I didn't believe in anything for a long time."
"It does, yeah."
"You know Sean, I never told anyone; and I said to myself back then I would
never let any man fuck me again, ever."
"I didn't know Vig, or I wouldn't have…"
"Shut it Sean, I am not sorry; it was great. I don't regret breaking my promise
at all. Can't wait to break it again, well maybe after a week or so, though,"
and then they both grinned.
***** Chapter 15 *****
New Mexico, 14 months later
Late in the afternoon they rode into a small town called Stanton, after a long
day of seemingly endless prairies. Sean hadn't spoken much all day and as they
tied up the horses in front of the big, general store, Viggo grabbed Sean's
arm.
"Are you okay?"
"Sure, why wouldn't I be okay?" but he didn't look at Viggo.
"Well for once, your horse has said more to me today than you have," and as if
to prove that, Colt snorted derisively, which made them both laugh. "I am
fine," Sean said and Viggo shrugged, following Sean inside.
Later they had a meal in the saloon, but they didn't stay to play cards like
they normally would have, as Viggo could feel Sean wanted to leave, even though
he was too stubborn to say so. They rode out of town in silent agreement until
they settled for the night. Viggo pulled the cork from the bottle they had
bought that afternoon with his teeth and took a large gulp, then handed it to
Sean.
"Okay," he said, "enough of stumpin' around the bush Sean, what did I do? "
Sean turned to him, genuinely surprised, "You didn't do nothing."
"So, what's wrong then?" When Sean didn't answer Viggo lay down on his bedroll.
"Suit yourself then, goodnight," and he started pulling his hat over his face
when Sean's hand stopped him.
"That town, Stanton? I've been there before. My uncle's ranch is about two
hours from here and he used to send me out with some of his men for provisions.
I gathered we might run into it when we headed for New Mexico, but it still
felt strange."
Viggo sat up again and took the bottle out of Sean's hand to take another swig.
"I figure we should pay your uncle a visit, don't you think?
Sean looked at him for the very first time that day and smiled, "You think we
should?"
"Yeah, I sure do! Let's pay the bastard a visit and get rid of some old demons
haunting you."
"Okay, tomorrow then."
"Right."
"I am sorry I was so out of it today, guess I was all balled and wired up."
"Let me try to do something about that then."
Viggo quickly unbuttoned Sean's jeans and he lifted his hips, more than eager
to have Viggo's hands on him, or maybe he would fuck him, he didn't really
care, it was all good. He groaned when Viggo started stroking his dick,
flicking his thumb over the head with every stroke.
"Did you wash yourself this morning?" asked Viggo and Sean blinked. "What the
hell Vig? Yes I did, you were there, why?"
Viggo didn't answer, but bent over instead and then his mouth closed over
Sean's cock. Sean bit his fist to not cry out, but then he gave in to that
persistent and wonderful tongue that licked and sucked at places that made him
shudder and curse. His hand shot out and fisted Viggo's hair, pulling him even
closer. He could feel the other man struggle and realized he should back off,
but it felt so fucking good. Much too soon he was close and he tried to warn
Viggo, but was simply unable to string words into a normal sentence. It took a
real effort to let go of the man's head and push him away, but somehow he
managed and his release shot over the dry prairie grass instead of flooding
Viggo's mouth.
He came so hard it almost hurt and with eyes closed he rode it all out. "Fuck
Viggo," he said, his voice shaking.
"You're made for sin, you know that Sean?" and Viggo took himself in hand and
started stroking. Sean looked at him, still panting, knowing that one of these
days he would get up his courage and try to do what Viggo just did for him,
like he had from the very beginning. Not now, not yet, but he knew he would
eventually and Viggo knew it too.
They took their time the following morning, drinking coffee and having
breakfast with the supplies they bought in the store. Viggo didn't say a word
about Sean's uncle and Sean was grateful, still not really sure if he really
wanted to go there. Deep in his heart he knew he had considered it from the
moment Viggo had suggested they should go to New Mexico. He could have said no,
but he hadn't.
"Okay, so let's go," he said, long after they'd finished their coffee and Viggo
nodded, cleaning out his mug with a handful of sand. Even though it had been
years ago since he'd been here, Sean had no problem remembering how to ride
there and some time later they looked down from a steep hill into the valley
and Joe Bigstow's place.
Sean stared at the ranch that looked smaller than he remembered, then saw the
devastation of it; the empty corrals where once big herds of cattle were kept,
the horse corral, with only two horses in it, the empty and broken henhouse and
he shook his head, unable to comprehend.
"I thought you said your uncle was flush," Viggo said next to him; "but the
place looks shoddy."
Still, there was smoke coming from the chimney and they could see a few small
kids playing behind the house and they steered their horses downhill. From up
close the place looked even more rickety and the horses were skinny crowbaits.
Viggo let Sean take the lead, drive up all the way to the front porch where
they dismounted. Sean knocked at the door a few times before it was finally
opened slowly. He was face to face with a man he didn't know, a face ploughed
with deep wrinkles, blood shot eyes squinting against daylight. His hair was
greasy, grey and very long and he smelled bad.
"What the hell you want?" the man's voice croaked and then suddenly Sean saw
something familiar in that ruined face and the old anger rose up inside him
like bile.
"I am Sean, your nephew," he said and for a moment the man stared at him.
"You stole my horse."
"You stole my youth," Sean answered and stepped into the house, pushing his
uncle aside.
***** Chapter 16 *****
Inside the house, decay was even more visible than outside. Not that Sean had
been in there a lot and could compare, but the furniture that had once had been
beautiful and crafted by skilled hands was now covered in a thick layer of
dust, the carpets, pillows and seats smudged, stained and dirty. There were
rows of empty bottles on the floor and a half empty bottle stood on the large
table in the centre of the room.
Sean picked out a chair that didn't look too bad and sat down, while Viggo
stood leaning against the big mantelpiece. Sean watched as his uncle sat
himself down in the opposite chair, reached for the bottle and took a large
swig.
"So that's what happened to this place?" Sean asked, disgusted.
Joe's eyes focused at him with difficulty and then he shrugged, "What's it to
you?" He turned his head slowly to look at Viggo, who looked back
indifferently. "And who the hell is he?"
"That's Viggo, my partner." Sean, who had come here thinking about getting even
with his uncle once and for all and had envisioned himself in a fight with the
man, felt very confused. He had expected a slightly older version of Big Joe
Bigstow, not this grey and shrivelled shadow of the man. What was he supposed
to do? He could hardly beat him up and it made him angry as hell.
"I don't give a damn how you live or what you did with your ranch," he said,
his voice cold with anger, "I just want to know why you treated me so bad,
worse than everyone else here at the farm, including the animals." Sean's hand
shot out to take the bottle from Joe's hand when he brought it to his mouth.
"Answer me first."
Joe leered at him, and then spat on the ground, "I saved you by taking you here
with me. You were a pain, a spoiled sissy and I wanted to make a man out of
you, is this all the thanks I'm getting?"
In a fit of rage Sean threw the bottle that was still in his hands and it flew
through the room, and hit a big cupboard, where it shattered into pieces.
"Thanks?" he shouted, "For what? For making me work harder than a grown up and
using your belt on me? I should have killed you when I left, but it's not too
late to do it now!?
Joe seemed to shrink into his chair, and he raised his arms in self-defence,
seemingly afraid that Sean would hit him.
"You won't harm an old man, will you? Can't you see I am sick?" he whined.
"There's something you should know, something important."
"I am not interested, "Sean said, and rose from his chair, "are you coming
Viggo?"
"No wait! I… this letter was brought for you, maybe a month ago, from your
father's brother in England… It's in the cabinet over there. I didn't know
where to find you."
Sean walked over to the cabinet and opened the drawer. The letter was on top of
a pile of papers and playing cards. Sean held the letter in his hand, and
looked questioningly at Viggo, who shook his head.
"That letter is opened," Sean said to Joe, "so you might as well tell me what
it says."
"Your cousins, John and Christian, have died of tuberculosis and your uncle
Frederick wants you to come back to England to take over his business. He's a
rich man now and he's sorry he let me take you now, said he wants to get to
know you."
Sean stared at the letter in his hands and then popped it into his shirt
pocket.
"Let's go," he said to Viggo.
"What about me?" Joe asked, his voice more confident now.
"What about you? I don't give a damn," Sean said and walked out of the door,
Viggo on his heels.
Sean walked around the ranch, towards two small adobe houses behind it. He
noticed Viggo looking at him and he shrugged, "What? I couldn't really kill
him, could I?"
A Mexican woman stepped out of one of the houses and squinted against the sun,
two small children by her side.
"Señor?"
"Juanita? Do you remember me? I am Sean, Mr. Bigstow's nephew."
"Oh si, I remember you. How are you?"
"I am fine. Juanita, what has happened to the ranch and the cattle and all?"
She looked at him, her brown eyes tired and weary. "Your uncle started to drink
and gamble shortly after you left. He sold his cattle and fired everyone who
worked here, apart from two of the men he now called his friends. They lived in
the house with him until one morning they were gone with some of the horses and
all the money they could find. Your uncle now lives from the money he had in
the bank."
"Why are you still here."
I still cook for your uncle, but he doesn't allow me to clean the house. I have
no place to go and when my daughter Maria's husband left, your uncle allowed
her and the children to come and live with me. Together we take care of him now
as good as we can. Are you going to live here now?"
"No, we just happened to stop by; we're leaving now. Goodbye Maria."
"Vaya con Dios, Sean. Señor."
On the way back to the horses Sean pointed out a low detached building, "My
bedroom," he said and they stepped inside. There was not much to see but large
piles of rotting straw. The roof had big holes in it and crows were flying in
and out.
Viggo looked around him, picturing Sean as a little kid sleeping in this place.
When he looked back at Sean he caught him smiling. "Not much to get sentimental
over, is there? Still, I am glad we went; I think I can let go." He grabbed
Viggo's arm and squeezed it. "I wish we could do the same for you; your
childhood was so much worse." Viggo smiled back at him. "I am fine Sean."
Sean didn't look back when they left. He just hoped he would never have to go
there again. For hours they rode in silence. Sean could see something was
bothering Viggo very much and he had a very good idea what troubled him. Still
he said nothing until they had stopped for the night and had built a fire.
Only then did he take the letter from his pocket, showing it to Viggo.
"That's great news Sean," Viggo said, his face studiously blank. "So I guess
you'll be going to England soon?"
"Don't be such an old croaker Vig; of course I am not."
"You're not?"
"Nah, who would take care of you when I am gone? You're stuck with me,
brother."
"But your uncle is rich. You would be rich."
"I am rich already Vig," and without hesitation Sean threw the letter into the
fire.
"Maybe we should settle down, Sean, build ourselves a small ranch or something,
what do you think?"
"Where would we get the money for that? We don't make much stealing horses, do
we?"
"I have given it some thought in the last couple weeks. Maybe we could rob a
bank? Just this one time?"
"You're kidding me aren't you? They'll hang you for that!"
"They hang you for horse thieving too. Better hang for a dollar than for a
nickel, I say. It would also give us some prestige I think."
"Prestige? You are a bad influence on me, Viggo Mortensen."
"Just take your time thinking about it Sean. My ideas always turned out good so
far."
"You're right, some of them are really brilliant," Sean agreed, laying a
propriety hand on Viggo's leg and stroking it.
"By the way, did you wash this morning?"
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