Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/3542555. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: Multi Fandom: Merlin_(TV) Relationship: Merlin/Arthur_Pendragon, Gwen/Lancelot_(Merlin), Gwen/Morgana_(Merlin), Merlin/Edwin_Muirden, Cenred/Merlin_(Merlin) Character: Merlin_(Merlin), Arthur_Pendragon_(Merlin), Morgana_(Merlin), Gwen_ (Merlin), Lancelot_(Merlin), Edwin_Muirden, Cenred_(Merlin), Leon_ (Merlin), Percival_(Merlin), Gaius_(Merlin) Additional Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega_Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Underage_Sex, Kidnapping, Minor Character_Death, Fluff_and_Angst, Angst_and_Humor, Age_Difference, Suicide_Attempt, Domestic_Violence, Past_Sexual_Abuse, Magic_Revealed, Slurs, Period-Typical_Sexism, Mpreg, Mating_Cycles/In_Heat, Implied/ Referenced_Child_Abuse, Alpha_Arthur, Omega_Merlin, Arranged_Marriage, Grief/Mourning, Dubious_Consent, Collars, Masturbation, Magic Stats: Published: 2015-03-14 Updated: 2015-03-25 Chapters: 10/? Words: 22579 ****** Broken Heat ****** by sunnivaixchel Summary When your Alpha dies, it feels like your heart is being torn from your chest. or "How Arthur Pendragon learned that inheriting your dead enemy's Omega requires a lot of emotions and patience" or "Teenage Omega Twink Boy (eventually) pounded by Golden Alpha Prince" Notes I should be working on my Quickie Bingo card, but I'm going to start posting this Omegaverse fic I've had written up a while because Omegaverse has ruined my life. A lot of those warnings get used up in the first few chapters, but not all of them. Uhhh...lytling is old English for "little one" and is a commonly used endearment for Omegas. I'll come back and translate those spells later, but you can kind of tell what they do anyway. See the end of the work for more notes ***** Chapter 1 ***** ‘Alphas’ Merlin sneered, staring resolutely at the ground, ‘Bloody Alphas’. He hated Alphas. Hated them. He knew better than to say it aloud, because he’d probably be stoned for it, but he loathed each and every Alpha that had ever lived and ever would live. Currently, there were two Alphas arguing about him. One thought he was too dangerous with all that magic. The other thought that that was the precise reason they should take him. Merlin got no say in the matter. He was tempted to kill them, because they’d hunt him down if he tried to run, but he’d never killed anyone before and the thought frightened him. Maybe they’d start fighting and end up killing each other. “Boris, Henry,” a smooth voice said, and both Alphas shut up. “Sire.” they said in unison, and Merlin froze. “My nose tells me that there is something you ought to report to me.” the voice said silkily, dangerously. “Y-Yes, sire. W-We found...an Omega.” one of the Alphas said, and the voice hummed. There were footsteps, and a new Alpha rounded the corner Merlin was cowering in. “Ooh,” the Alpha said, eyes sharp. Merlin had started to tremble, “I heard there was magic.” he said, but he wasn’t addressing Merlin. “Y-Yes, sire. It has magic. A lot of magic.” the other two crept up behind him nervously. “Is this true, lýtling?” the Alpha cooed, as if talking to a child or an animal. His black hair fell neatly against his face, his beard short and cropped. Merlin nodded. There was no use in lying, “Show me some magic, lýtling” he said. Merlin squeezed his eyes shut, then held out his hand. A light wind whipped at the dirt and gravel beneath their feet, scattering it. “It can do more than that” one of his captors added, “It threw Neal off his horse. He’s dead” he said bitterly. The new Alpha was smiling, and Merlin’s skin was crawling. “How would you like to come with me, lýtling?” he asked in a sugary voice, “I know many people who can teach you many things about magic. You’ll live in a big castle and have a room of your very own and good food and nice clothing. I’ll take good care of you” he promised. Merlin had never loathed anyone in his life more than he loathed this man. He shook his head, and the smile disappeared, “You don’t have a choice,lýtling, but I’d like it if you wanted to come” his voice was still soft. Merlin shook his head again, “Come now, it will be nice. You won’t have to worry about any more Alphas coming after you. You can be my court sorcerer” he crooned. “I don’t want to Mate you.” Merlin said in a tiny, terrified voice. All gentleness was gone from the Alpha. “Do you know who I am?” he asked coldly. Merlin nodded, “Then you know you don’t have a choice” Merlin’s face crumpled. “Please, don’t.” he whispered. “You’re the one from Ealdor, aren’t you? I’ll burn the whole village down and everyone in it if you don’t behave.” the king’s face was twisted into an ugly expression. Terror and hopelessness washed over Merlin. “I’ll go” he whispered, voice breaking, and Cenred smiled darkly. “Very good,lýtling. Very good”.   =============================================================================== Merlin did learn a lot of magic, right up until he went into Heat, and he was locked away in a little room. Cenred came and fucked him relentlessly, all through his Heat, binding himself to the little Omega sorcerer. Merlin was helpless. The first week afterward, Merlin was lost in shy adoration of his Alpha, smiling stupidly at the king. After that, slowly, Merlin came to himself and remembered where he was and what was happening to him. Then the happiness was gone, replaced by despair and pain. It was extremely difficult to make himself hate Cenred as much as he deserved, but Merlin managed it with a lot of willpower. Merlin wore pretty, Omegan fripperies and a gold collar and was initially too embarrassed to go anywhere he didn’t have to. Before long, he went back to studying magic. Morgause was disdainful of him, but she liked how attentive and talented he was. He could tell that she hated Cenred too. Most people in the castle hated Cenred. Edwin was a Beta, and he was extremely fond of Merlin, spending as much time as he could teaching him. Sometimes, he held Merlin while he cried and stroked his hair, and Cenred didn’t care because he was a Beta, and Betas often substituted for Alphas in giving Omega affection. Afterwards, Merlin would kiss the scarred half of the man’s face, making him look away, slightly bashful at the attention. Alator had a great deal of knowledge, and he didn’t seem to mind teaching Merlin, but he was very distant, lost in his own thoughts and meditation. Nimueh hated him outright, and wouldn’t teach him except under extreme duress from Cenred. She was apparently a very important magical person, but it didn’t matter much to Merlin. Nothing really mattered. The first time Cenred forced him to kill someone, a ‘thieving’ peasant, Merlin had screamed and wept, and had been beaten soundly for it. Edwin was the one that helped him heal. Now Merlin had killed twelve people. He was keeping count. Cenred fucked him often, and that was the closest thing to affection that Merlin got, and he was starved for it. Sometimes he sat at Cenred’s feet when Cenred wanted to show him off, and the Alpha would pet his hair. That was heavenly; the feeling of Alpha’s fingers in his hair. He always ended up whining and pressing against Cenred’s hand for attention. It usually earned him a slap once the guests were gone. Then there was war, with Camelot, and the others were frothing at the mouth to destroy Uther Pendragon. He sounded like a horrible, evil king. Worse than Cenred. They talked about it in the evenings around the fire. Merlin kept quiet so they wouldn’t kick him out. They talked about the godsforsaken child he’d sacrificed his Omegawife to have, about the golden prince, handsome and strong and brave. They said that Uther had molded the boy in his own image, taught him hatred for magic. Uther used his son as a weapon, and the stupid creature was too brainwashed to question anything the king said. This usually devolved into crude remarks about how the prince looked like his mother and how Uther probably took advantage of that, how he probably fucked his own son. Merlin just listened. “The Pendragon boy is a monster” Edwin confided in him during their lessons, “Uther was always the best swordsman in Camelot, and one of the best in the Five Kingdoms, but Prince Arthur surpasses even him. He is undefeated in combat. He takes pleasure in killing those of our kind, just like his bastard father. I have been to Camelot, I have seen him” Edwin knew that Omegas needed affection to thrive, and he was constantly petting Merlin’s hair, scratching him under the chin, things like that. Edwin had rubbed Merlin’s belly like he was a dog, once, and it had beendivine. Merlin had drooled, “I have seen Uther’s boy, and I say he is a monster. He is handsome, so handsome. Women swoon over his smile whether they want to or not. He is skilled at hiding his true nature. He’s charming, handsome, strong, powerful...” Edwin’s voice trailed off, and Merlin crawled into his lap, nosing his scarred cheek and cuddling. He absently wrapped his arms around Merlin, petting him, and Merlin made a happy noise, “I fear for your safety if Camelot prevails over Cenred” he murmured, and Merlin opened his eyes. “Don’t worry. I’ll kill them all. Killing men like them doesn’t bother me” Edwin smiled. “Good”. =============================================================================== It was the very early morning when Camelot’s knights stormed the castle. Merlin was dragged out of bed by Edwin, who splashed something strange smelling on him and wrapped him in a cloak. “This will mask your scent. You must leave” the sorcerer said urgently. Merlin looked at him with frightened, sleepy eyes. “What about you?” he rasped. Edwin smiled and shook his head. “Don’t worry about me, Merlin” he pulled Merlin down to kiss his forehead. “Come with me” Merlin insisted. “I’ll lead you out” the sorcerer pulled him along. They snuck through the castle, towards the secret exit. “What about Cenred?” Merlin whispered, thinking about how livid his Alpha would be if he left for any reason. Edwin made a derisive noise. “Don’t worry about him either” there was something like pity in his voice. They rounded a corner and into a large courtyard. Edwin swore, glancing around. Then, from nowhere, knights clad in red appeared, wielding swords. Edwin pushed Merlin behind him, “Merlin, when I tell you, run” he hissed, then spoke words of the Old Religion, raising his hand and knocking the knights back, “Run!” Merlin made a dash across the courtyard as the knights set on the obvious sorcerer. There was a cry, and he stopped running, turning. He saw Edwin crumple to the ground. “EDWIN!!!” Merlin screamed, racing back towards him. A sword sliced his arm, but he didn’t notice, throwing himself on Edwin, “Edwin!!!” Merlin stroked his scarred face. “Told you to run” the sorcerer breathed, then his eyes dimmed. “Edwin. Edwin!!!” Merlin gathered the Beta to his chest. He was surrounded by swords. “Cooperate with us and you don’t have to get hurt” one of them said. Merlin didn’t respond, rocking Edwin the way Edwin had done to him when he cried, pressing his face into Edwin’s curls, “Kid” the flat of a sword smacked his arm lightly. “Ábric” Merlin whispered. “What?” “Cume her fyrbryne.  ÁBRIC!!!!” he screamed, and fire blossomed around him, lighting up the night, enveloping the knights, who screamed in agony, “CUME ÞODEN!!!” the wind sent the fire whooshing through the courtyard, “FORBÆRNEN!!!” the fire lit up anew, and Merlin set Edwin down, standing up. There were a few knights still standing, and they were frozen in terror, swords pointing at him, “Bebiede-” he started, the fire whipping around him, then he froze, eyes wide. He dropped to his knees as the fire destroyed the remaining knights. It felt like his heart had been ripped from his chest, “Alphaaa” he keened, clutching his chest, “ALPHA!!!” he began writhing and wailing on the ground. The fire and wind dispelled. “ALPHA!!!” Merlin wailed, agony ripping him apart, “ALPHA!!” the air crackled with magic, the stones beneath him breaking, ground shuddering. ===============================================================================     Arthur stood over Cenred’s body, staring down at him in disgust. It was done. He turned around and left the room. His knights gathered to him, telling him that the castle was almost completely secured. Then they heard the screaming. It was a wild, ugly sound that Arthur instantly recognized, and his stomach plummeted. Cenred had had an Omega. He started walking towards the noise. The screaming was louder now. Arthur started to run. There was an open door. “ALPHA!!” he heard faintly from beyond the door, and he flinched. This was an unwelcome complication. He went through the door. The courtyard was in shambles, everything scorched and broken. He saw burned bodies on the ground, and realized with a jolt that they were his men. The Omega had curled in on itself, weeping bitterly, sobbing out the word ‘Alpha’ at random intervals. Arthur sheathed his sword, and started walking towards the Omega. He saw the slain figure of a sorcerer he vaguely recognized as working for Cenred. The death of his knights had been that man’s doing, but he was dead now. Arthur knelt at the Omega’s side. It flinched when he laid a hand on the back of its head. Short hair. A male Omega then. “Shhhh” Arthur soothed, tugging it up gently. It didn’t fight him, more like a doll than anything, still crying, as Arthur pulled it into his arms, letting the Omega press its face into his neck and sob. He held it close and rocked it, making soothing noises. It had something awful-smelling on it, to hide its scent. His own scent calmed it considerably within a few minutes, still whimpering, exhausted, “You’re safe now, lýtling” he told it. It flinched at the endearment, “You’re safe with me. Nothing will hurt you” it whined, and he shushed it, kissing the side of its head, “Rest now, lýtling. I’ll be right here” he felt the Omega’s body sag with exhaustion, giving in to sleep. Behind them, the sun began to rise.     ***** Chapter 2 ***** Chapter Notes lmao 15 kudos and four comments in the first two hours, I guess I'll post the next chapter. i have a certain amount already written, so it might go up faster than usual because I'm a feedback whore. When Merlin woke up, he wished he hadn’t. Endless grief and pain were swallowing him, and he didn’t know why. Then he remembered, and the tears came. He sobbed softly. He heard movement, but was too weak and grieving to lift his head. Someone climbed onto the bed with him, covering him with their body. A strong, broad body. An Alpha. Merlin moaned quietly as he was pinned down to the bed. Cenred had never done this for him. Maybe once, during his Heat. “Relax” a voice rumbled in his ear, breath hot, and Merlin moaned again, “That’s it...good boy” the Alpha praised, and Merlin didn’t know what to do with himself. The praise filled him with joy, “Good boy...” warm lips pressed against the skin under his ear. Merlin let out a small sob, “You’re safe now. I’m going to protect you” that sounded nice. But...no, Cenred would be angry. Cenred would beat him if he paid too much attention to another Alpha. “Alpha?” Merlin whimpered. “Shh, I’m right here, lýtling. I’m right here” the Alpha said into his ear. That was Cenred’s word, but not his voice. Merlin struggled feebly. “Stop” he whimpered, “Alpha...he’ll be angry. Please, he’ll...he’ll...Cenred will...” he felt the Alpha’s body tense at the name, just as Merlin felt his heart had been ripped from his chest, “Alpha!” he sobbed, pressing his face into the mattress, “Alphaaaa” he could feel displeasure radiating off the Alpha on top of him, but his Alpha was gone. He was alone. He keened, high and loud, in his throat. The new Alpha rolled him over, gathering him up into his arms to pet and soothe him as he sobbed. “I’m going to protect you” the Alpha promised, kissing Merlin’s neck. Merlin just wept. “He’s gone” he wailed. “Shhh, I know, lýtling. I’m sorry” the Alpha did sound sorry. “He’s...he’s...he’s...” Merlin whimpered, “Gone” he breathed. Then his sobs turned into laughter, high and hysterical, “He’s gone! He’s gone! I’m free!” the manic laughter shook his entire body, held down by the Alpha’s weight, “I’m free! He’s gone!” Merlin pressed his face into the mattress and screamed, emotions and desires warring within him, his mind a ravaged battlefield, “Oh Gods, he’s gone” Merlin’s body shook, and he thought he might shake himself apart if the calming weight of an Alpha wasn’t on top of him. “Cenred can’t hurt you anymore” the Alpha assured him, and Merlin sobbed until he couldn’t keep his eyes open, drifting off to sleep. =============================================================================== The next time Merlin woke, he could hear quiet voices. “I’m not sure he’s in any state to go anywhere” a familiar voice was saying. “Surely you don’t mean to abandon him, sire” sire? Merlin stirred, but wasn’t noticed. “Of course not” the first voice scoffed, “He’s my war trophy. Cenred’s most prized Omega” there was a pause, “I’m just not sure if he’s up to coming home with us yet”. “Do you know how long it will be before he has his Broken Heat?” the second voice asked. “Soon. The sooner the better. I don’t know how much longer I can stand him screaming for Cenred” the first voice filled with disgust. “He did just lose his Alpha, sire” the second voice said quietly. The first sighed. “I know. But they couldn’t have been Bonded very long. He’s still practically a child” Merlin cracked his eyes open. Two dark shapes were sitting by the fireplace. Merlin was on the bed, “I’m just glad that that sorcerer wasn’t able to escape with him” sorcerer? Merlin blinked muzzily. That would be... “Edwin” Merlin whimpered. Both men turned sharply to look at him. He squeezed his eyes shut, “Edwin” his tears started anew. One of them came closer, and he shied away, sniffling. Edwin was dead. Edwin had died protecting him. “Shhh, shhh” fingers smoothed down Merlin’s hair. “Edwin” Merlin pressed his face into the pillow. “Shhh, it’s alright” he felt warm breath on his cheek. Merlin shook his head. “Edwin’s dead” he whispered. “Who’s Edwin?” the voice was vaguely puzzled, and Merlin choked on a sob. “He was just trying to protect me. He always protected me whenever he could. He wasn’t a bad person” he cried, marginally soothed by the fingers in his hair. “Shhh, it’s alright” the Alpha soothed. “No! It’s not alright! He’s dead!” Merlin cried out. His magic seemed so far away, so detached from him, “He’s dead! They killed him!” he began sobbing again, “He was just trying to protect me and they killed him. He told me to run, but...but...but...” Merlin became incomprehensible. “Sire” Leon breathed, and Arthur looked up at him, “The sorcerer” he mouthed, and Arthur’s eyes widened in understanding. The Omega sobbed about the dead sorcerer and how he wasn’t a bad person and he’d only been trying to protect the Omega. “I’m sorry, lýtling” he whispered. “Edwin’s dead, and Cenred’s dead. They’re all dead” the Omega’s sobbing was renewed, louder than ever. Arthur climbed onto the bed with him, pulling the boy to his chest, stroking and shushing him. Leon turned away, not looking in on the intimacy between an Alpha and Omega in such a private moment, “They’re all dead” the boy wept until he fell asleep again. =============================================================================== “Who are you?” the Omega was just a bundle of blankets with a nose and puffy eyes that were a vivid blue. Arthur pulled a chair up by the bed, making the bundle shrink away. “Not anyone you need to be afraid of” he said. The bundle sniffed once. “I think I’ll be the judge of that” it said in a soft but defiant voice. Arthur felt his eyebrows creeping up his face at such disrespect coming from an Omega. He cleared his throat and looked down. “What’s your name?” he asked. “What’s your name?” the bundle challenged, and it was all Arthur could do not to gape at the boy. “My name is Arthur” he said calmly. “...Merlin” the bundle broke eye contact, looking down in a very Omegan way. “Merlin” Arthur repeated, smiling slightly, then it faded, “Merlin, I know this is a very difficult time for you” the bundle sniffed, a much wetter sound than before, “But things are changing around here, very quickly, and we need to know that you’re safe and protected” he reached out towards the bundle of blankets, and it almost tipped over trying to get away from him, sitting as far away on the bed as possible. “Since Cenred’s dead, does that mean I can go home?” the large blue eyes met his. “Home?” Arthur echoed. “Ealdor” Arthur recognized the name, it was close to the border, “I lived there with my mum. Is my mum alright?” the eyes filled with fear and pain, “Did Cenred have her killed? He said he’d kill my mum if I didn’t go with him, but I did what he said” the Omega’s voice caught. Arthur felt a surge of hatred for Cenred. “We’ll find out about your mother. But no, you can’t go back” Arthur hated the fear in the Omega’s eyes. He hated when Omegas were afraid of him, even ones he had no desire for. “Why?” Merlin whispered. “Merlin, you were Cenred’s favored Omega” the Omega looked away, “He was the king, and when the king is killed the conquering country Claims his possessions to demonstrate their victory. Do you understand?” Arthur asked. Merlin shook his head. A little more of his face was visible now, along with a tuft of dark hair. Arthur sighed, “When a kingdom wins a war and kills the king of the other kingdom, the victorious king takes the dead king’s Omegas” that was the concept, at its very simplest. The Omega’s eyes grew even wider. “Does that mean I have to be Mated to Uther Pendragon?” he whimpered, “I don’t want to be Mated to him” Arthur made a slight face. “Why not?” he asked. The Omega wrinkled up his nose. “Because he’s an evil and terrible king” he said, and Arthur’s eyebrows crept back up his face, and he pushed down his knee jerk reaction to chastise anyone who spoke such treason. “He’s not any of those things. What makes you think that?” his father was well respected, if not always loved. “He’s a murderer and he’s mad and evil and he kills people with magic even if they don’t do anything wrong and he enjoys it and he’s even worse than Cenred and he killed his own Omegawife and please, don’t make me Mate him, I’ll do anything” the Omega begged. Arthur just stared at him, open-mouthed. He struggled to collect his thoughts and comprehend what had just come pouring out of this Omega’s mouth. “My fa- the king isn’t...” Arthur didn’t know where to start, “I...” he was at a total loss for words. “Please” the Omega had started to cry, “Don’t make me Mate him, please, I’ll do anything” he begged and wept. Arthur just stared helplessly at him, “I’d rather die than Mate him” Merlin said, and anger swelled up in Arthur’s chest, and it must have shown on his face because the Omega shrank back further in terror and tipped off the bed, hitting the floor with a ‘thump’ and an ‘owww’. “Are you-?” Arthur got up and circled the bed, kneeling down and picking up the large but light bundle of blankets that seemed to be made entirely of arms and legs and had begun struggling, “Stop struggling” he chided, putting the Omega back on the bed. The bundle rolled away from him, and he grabbed it, pulling the top off to reveal the Omega’s face. “Please” Merlin whimpered. Arthur cupped his face, wiping his tears away, and Merlin leaned into the touch, closing his eyes, “Please, I don’t want to Mate him” Arthur sighed. “You don’t have to Mate the king” he said, and the Omega’s body went limp with relief, “But you’re wrong about him. He’s not evil or terrible at all, he’s just very stern” Arthur caressed his face. “You’re from Camelot, you have to say that” the Omega mumbled, and while that was true, Arthur knew his own words to be true as well. “He’s a good king” Arthur promised, and Merlin made a face, “Who told you all of those things?” Cenred wouldn’t have wasted his breath turning an Omega against Camelot. “Edwin and Morgause and Nimueh and Alator. They all know a lot” Merlin seemed to be enjoying Arthur’s touch. Arthur was startled for a moment, then he laughed, startling Merlin. “Merlin” he said, smiling, “No wonder you believe such ludicrous things. You’ve been listening to sorcerers” he said the word as the insult it was. Merlin’s eyes were wide, “You can’t believe anything those sort of people say” he petted the Omega fondly, amused by his innocence and naivety. “Why not?” Merlin asked guilelessly. Arthur continued to smile, petting the Omega. “Those sort of people aren’t the ones you should be listening to” he patted Merlin’s cheek. “What sort of people?” Merlin’s voice was very small, and he looked nervous. Arthur rolled his eyes. “Sorcerers, Merlin” he sat beside the Omega, wrapping an arm around him, tangling his fingers in his hair, “They practice witchcraft and evil magics. They’re scum, Merlin, don’t pay them any mind” he ruffled the Omega’s hair. “Edwin wasn’t bad. And Morgause. And Alator. And Nimueh was kind of mean, but she wasn’t evil” Merlin was looking at him with wide and frightened eyes. Arthur sighed, regarding Merlin as one might a child who did not understand the ways of the world. “It’s something that might not be immediately obvious to you, Merlin” he said gently. Merlin pursed his lips. “What does that mean?” his eyebrows came together unhappily. “Omegas are very trusting” what a sweet, innocent creature this Omega was. So full of kindness and light. Merlin sat up. “I’m not stupid” he said angrily, surprising Arthur. “No, of course not” he said, surprised by Merlin’s vehemence. “Don’t treat me like I’m stupid just because I’m an Omega. I understand what’s going on. Don’t treat me like a child” Merlin was red in the face. “Merlin, calm down” Arthur grabbed him by the shoulders. “I won’t calm down! Don’t treat me like a child!” the Omega raised his voice, “I’m not stupid!” his ears were bright red. “Merlin” Arthur held his face in both his hands while the Omega fumed at him, “I don’t think you’re stupid, Merlin, and I don’t think you’re a child. But you’re still young” Merlin glared, “How old are you?” Arthur asked. “Sixteen” Merlin said defiantly, and Arthur couldn’t help but smile, “How old are you?” he challenged. “Twenty-four” Arthur told him. The angry blue eyes went very wide. “Oh” he said in a small voice. “You’re not a child, Merlin. But you’re young, and trusting. That’s the way Omegas are. You always see the very best in people” Arthur said very fondly, “You don’t want to think that someone would lie to you or deceive you” Merlin looked away. “I’m not stupid” he mumbled. “Of course not” Arthur said, meaning it, and he kissed Merlin’s forehead, making the Omega turn bright red and struggle. Arthur let him get away. “You said a dead king’s Omega gets Claimed by the enemy. If I don’t have to Mate Uther Pendragon, then who do I have to Mate?” Merlin asked. Arthur smiled thinly. “Tradition dictates that you Mate whoever leads the invasion, or whoever kills the king. Luckily for you, that’s the same person, so there’s no doubt about who gets you” Artur placed one hand on the bed, putting his weight on it so he could lean and look at the Omega. “Who’s that, then?” Merlin said unhappily. Arthur gave him a wry smile. “That would be me” he said. A beat passed. “You?” Merlin asked. Arthur’s smile widened. “Yes, me. I’m your new Alpha” he said, smile continuing to grow as Merlin’s face turned red again and he grabbed the blankets, covering his head again and hiding under them. Arthur laughed softly, leaning in towards the bundle, face close to the opening, “Does that sound too terrible?” he asked. Blue eyes framed by thick, black lashes looked shyly at him. “Maybe” Merlin murmured. Arthur tugged the blanket down a little to look at him. “Only maybe?” he was still smiling. “You can’t possibly be worse than Cenred” Merlin said. Arthur blinked, and then he laughed, throwing back his head. “I’ve never met an Omega quite like you, Merlin” he grinned at the eyes peeping out of the blankets. “Are you really going to be my Alpha?” Merlin’s voice was so shy. “Yes” Arthur leaned back in, and the Omega shrank into the blankets, “Will you give me a kiss?” he asked. The skin he could see was bright red. “No” Merlin said, burrowing deeper into the blankets to hide. Arthur smiled. “Very well. I’ll save my kisses for later. Right now you should rest. Things are going to get very busy soon” Arthur smiled fondly at the lump under the blankets and stood up, walking towards the door. “If there’s anything you need, Merlin, don’t be afraid to ask. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you” he promised, then left. Merlin sat alone in the room, still blushing furiously, thinking that maybe, just maybe, this wouldn’t be too bad.     ***** Chapter 3 ***** Chapter Notes St. Jude is the patron saint of desperate causes Also Merlin is young and melodramatic and understandably terrified. See the end of the chapter for more notes “I’m going to be Mated” the thought startled a laugh out of Arthur. He stood on the ramparts, looking out at Essetir, “I’m going to be a Mated man, Leon” he found himself smiling. “Congratulations, sire” Leon said, smiling faintly. “When I came here to win the war, I never thought...” Arthur stared out at the city. The view wasn’t as nice as Camelot, “Do you reckon the messengers have reached Camelot yet?” he knew they had. It had been long enough. “Yes sire, and I’m sure he is on his way back with the king’s reply” Leon assured him. Arthur just grinned helplessly at the open sky.   =============================================================================== “Are you going to hide from me again?” Arthur asked as he stuck his head in the door after knocking. Merlin was curled up in a blanket, looking out the window. He had recovered considerably and had lost some of the shyness and docility he’d previously shown. “Wouldn’t do me any good, would it?” he asked sullenly, not looking at the Alpha. “I’m surprised Cenred didn’t teach you better manners.” Arthur watched the Omega stiffen as he came closer and sat beside him on the small window seat. “Cenred didn’t care what I did as long as I didn’t talk in front of guests and stayed out of his way and let him fuck me.” Merlin said bitterly. He startled when Arthur’s hand rested on his knee, rubbing gently, his cheeks turning pink. “I’ll be a better Alpha than Cenred.” Arthur promised. Merlin smiled bitterly in a way that said he didn’t believe Arthur, “I would never abandon my mate to the care of others” he continued to rub Merlin’s knee. “You’ll take me back to Camelot.” Merlin said as if that was just as bad. “Yes, but Camelot is a fine place. Much more beautiful than this ugly place. It’s a shining city, full of good people. You’ll like it.” Arthur promised, and the Omega gave him another ‘I don’t believe you’ smile. “That’s where the king lives,” he said, “I’m finished with kings. I don’t want to see another one for the rest of my life” he hugged his knees to his chest. “That might be a bit of a problem,” Arthur smiled sheepishly, “As I will someday be a king.” the Omega blinked uncomprehendingly, “What? Did you think the king would let just any knight Claim Cenred’s Omega?” Merlin stared blankly at him. “You’re...” his lips barely moved. “Prince Arthur Pendragon, at your service, fair Omega.” Arthur grinned. His smile started to fade as a new emotion crept over Merlin’s face, “Merlin?” he asked. “You’re the king’s son.” the Omega’s voice abruptly sounded dead. “Yes” Arthur reached out and tried to take one of Merlin’s hands, but Merlin snatched them away. If he’d thought Merlin had been frightened of him before, he would never have imagined the naked horror and terror dawning on the Omega’s face, “Merlin” he said again, and the Omega jerked back, falling off the seat, scrambling backwards on the floor. “Stay away.” he said fearfully. “Merlin” Arthur stood. “Stay away.” Merlin said louder, trembling, dragging his blanket with him. “Merlin, it’s alright.” Arthur held out his hands placatingly, trying to look as non-threatening as possible. “Stay away!” Merlin pressed his back to the wall. “Merlin, you need to calm down” Arthur moved slowly closer. “STAY AWAY!!” the Omega screamed, “STAY AWAY STAY AWAY STAY AWAY STAY AWAY!!!” he covered his head with the blanket, curling into a ball, screams devolving into sobs. Arthur stood and stared helplessly at him. “Merlin,” he said again, at a loss. “Oh my Gods” Merlin sobbed, drawing out the last word, “Oh my Gods, oh my Gods, oh my Gods” Arthur stared at the shaking, sobbing bundle, “This can’t be happening, this can’t be happening” the despair in the Omega’s voice made Arthur sick. When he was Arthur, knight of Camelot, Merlin had been fine with Mating him, but as soon as he was Arthur Pendragon, Crowned Prince of Camelot, Merlin looked at him like he was a monster. But...oh. Oh. The sorcerers. “Merlin” Arthur knelt a safe distance away from the Omega, and Merlin gave an especially loud sob, “Merlin, listen to me.” he said. “Go away” the fear and hatred in Merlin’s voice physically hurt, “Go away, leave me alone” the last word drew out as another sob. “Merlin, I need you to listen to me” Arthur said again, “You don’t have to say anything, just listen” the sobs dwindled to sniffles and whimpers, “I don’t know what those people told you about me, but I promise it isn’t true. They probably made me out to be some sort of monster, but I’m really not” the Omega whimpered and sniffed, “I’m going to take good care of you, Merlin. We’re going to go back to Camelot together. There will be a place for you in Camelot, and I promise you will want for nothing” he said. “And I’ll have a room of my very own and good food and nice clothing, right?” Merlin whispered, peeking out. “Of course” Arthur said, heartened by the Omega’s response, “Whatever you want”. “You’re promising me that if I go to Camelot with you, I’ll have a room of my own and good food and nice clothing and you’ll take good care of me” Merlin repeated. “Yes, Merlin” Arthur smiled slightly. “That’s what you’ll give me if I’m a good little lýtling and go home with you and let you Mate me” something had changed in Merlin’s voice, his eyes dim. “I’ll give you whatever you want, lýtling” Arthur was smiling. “What if I say no?” there was definitely something different in his voice and his eyes. Arthur sighed. “You can’t say no, Merlin. You don’t have a choice, and I’m sorry” he said. “What if I refuse? You’ll burn down my village?” there was steel in Merlin’s eyes. “What? No! What are you talking about?” Arthur’s eyebrows came together. “You’ve already promised everything else Cenred promised me, why not keep going?” the cold fury in the Omega’s voice shone through his eyes. The hope growing in Arthur’s chest withered instantly. “Merlin” he said faintly, and he had no idea what to say. “Get out” Merlin said through his teeth. “Merlin, you can’t-” Arthur started. “Get out” Merlin repeated, most of his face now visible, every line radiating rage. “Merlin-” Arthur started again, a little impatient. “Get out now or I’ll throw myself against the wall and tell your knights that you beat me” the was no room for doubt that Merlin would do exactly that. Arthur’s mouth thinned, and he stood up. “It isn’t wise to threaten an Alpha, Merlin. Especially not the one you’re about to be Mated to” he warned. “If you don’t leave now, I’m going to tell everyone that you’ve already raped me and you pissed on my face and threatened to pull out all my teeth and that you threatened to cut my cock off and you-” Merlin’s voice rose in pitch as he spoke, eyes wild. “Alright! Alright! Alright!” Arthur had taken several steps back, eyes wide. This Omega was crazy. Really crazy. Dangerously crazy. This Omega was deranged, “I’m going, I’m going” he continued backing up. Merlin was shaking, breathing unevenly. “I never want to see your face again. I’d rather be knotted by one of Cenred’s hunting dogs” he spat. What had happened to the shy Omega who had blushed and peeked out of the blankets at Arthur? He'd heard of Omegas going mad after losing their Alphas, but nothing like this. “I’m going” Arthur’s back hit the door, and he couldn’t get out of the room fast enough. Merlin stared after the Alpha, then he started to sniffle again, then sob. For a moment, just a moment, he had let himself hope that this new Alpha was different from the others. But he wasn’t. This man who meant to take Merlin as his Omega was the worst of all.   “I have seen Uther’s boy, and I say he is a monster. He is handsome, so handsome. Women swoon over his smile whether they want to or not. He is skilled at hiding his true nature. He’s charming, handsome, strong, powerful...”   Merlin curled up on the floor, under the blanket, and wept hopelessly.   “He takes pleasure in killing those of our kind, just like his bastard father.”   “Sorcerers, Merlin...they practice witchcraft and evil magics. They’re scum, Merlin, don’t pay them any mind”   Merlin was going to die. Merlin was going to be Mated to the monster, and then he was going to die.   =============================================================================== The next day, at lunch, an unfamiliar Beta man came in with the tray of food. Merlin eyed him warily. “Merlin?” he asked, voice gentle and kind. He was very handsome, and somehow managed to look very kind and pure. Merlin nodded, “My name is Lancelot. I’m here to keep you company for a while, so you don’t get lonely” he said, setting the tray down, which held twice as much food, “Will you come and sit with me and eat?” he asked. Slowly, Merlin stood up, letting the blanket fall away. He saw Lancelot’s eyes flicker over the flimsy, transparent gown he was wearing, covered in nothing else but a small pair of underpants. “Did Pendragon send you?” he asked, voice a little hoarse. Lancelot nodded, and Merlin sneered, “Why? To keep an eye on me? To make sure the crazy Omega doesn’t hurt itself or anyone else?” he had spent the entire night crying, falling asleep, waking up, and crying more. “Prince Arthur knows that you are under a lot of stress and you’re dealing with a lot of anxiety, and he doesn’t want you to have to be alone” Lancelot kept his eyes on Merlin’s face. “So, make sure the crazy Omega doesn’t hurt itself or anyone else” Merlin repeated. Lancelot pursed his lips. “Arthur is worried about you” he said, and Merlin snorted, sitting at the table, “For an Omega to lose their Alpha is extremely traumatising” Merlin stared at the table, “You’re still upset, and you aren’t comfortable around Prince Arthur yet, but you shouldn’t have to be alone” Merlin picked up a bread roll, tearing off a piece and eating it, “He wants to find a way to earn your trust” Merlin sneered, but didn’t say anything, “Tell me about yourself, Merlin. Where are you from?” Lancelot tried a different tactic. “I’m from Ealdor, but Pendragon already knows that” Merlin tore off the next bite with his teeth. “What’s it like there?” Lancelot asked. Merlin looked distrustfully at him. “It’s nice. If it’s still there. Cenred threatened to burn it down if I didn’t obey him” he stared at his food. “I don’t know much of Ealdor, but I do know that it is still standing. It suffers from the occasional bandit raid, but I believe it is doing well enough” Lancelot told him. “‘Occasional’” Merlin snorted quietly. “Do your parents live there?” Lancelot was eating his own meal now. “My mum does. If she’s not dead” Merlin’s mouth tightened at the thought, eyes burning, “I miss her” he hated to admit it to one of Pendragon’s men, but the thoughts of her he’d been repressing were all coming back at once. “I’m sure she’s still alive, and Arthur will find her and you’ll see her again” Lancelot assured him. Merlin stared at his food, not trusting himself to speak about the monster who would soon own his body as Cenred had, “How did your father pass? If you don’t mind me asking”. “I never knew my father. He left before I was born” it was a thought that still rankled. ‘By Christ and St. Jude, I’m going to have to look Arthur in the eye and tell him that his Omega is a bastard’ Lancelot thought. “So it was just you and your mother?” he asked. “Yeah. Just us” the memories were overwhelming Merlin, and the tears clinging to his eyelashes were spilling over. He ended up crying into Lancelot’s shoulder and falling asleep there. He didn’t wake up, even when he was tucked back into bed and the Beta quietly let himself out. Chapter End Notes Those Pendragons are monsters, doncha know. They'll gobble you up (๑⊙ﾛ⊙๑) ***** Chapter 4 ***** Chapter Notes Healsgebedda means "beloved bedmate" Your comments fuel me and give me strength Also, Arthur thinks he is very suave and romantic. See the end of the chapter for more notes Arthur stared at the blank parchment in front of him, quill poised to write. He glanced over at the one he had received. His father had congratulated him and asked the nature of his soon-to-be Omega. Was she beautiful? Was she of royal blood, or just noble? How old was she? Was she healthy, would she bear many children? Arthur looked back at his own unwritten letter. ‘Well, Father, my Omega is actually a teenage boy...No, he’s not royalty...no, he’s not nobility either, he’s common...also he’s a bastard...and has no manners...and believes things that sorcerers tell him...but he is pretty’ Arthur let his head fall onto the desk as he groaned. He put the quill down and stood up. Lancelot had gotten a lot of information out of the Omega, but said that he was hiding something. Arthur would get it out of him once they were Mated, but he’d rather know sooner than later. He picked up a few histories he’d found in the library and left the room. The Omega claimed he could read. Arthur was going to bring him books and find out if this was true. He knocked on the door, cracking it open. “I don’t feel like talking, Lancelot.” the Omega’s voice said as Arthur stepped in and closed the door behind him. He could see Merlin’s back where he was sitting on the edge of the bed, slumped over. “Do you feel like talking to me?” Arthur asked, and Merlin leapt up like a spooked rabbit, whirling to face the Alpha. Arthur had something else to say, but was distracted by the nearly invisible gown the Omega wore, with just a tiny covering of his groin. “What are you doing here?” the Omega backed up. Arthur opened his mouth, then closed it, trying to regain his train of thought. “That is a very eye-catching ensemble.” he said. Merlin’s cheeks turned red, and the sheer purple fabric revealed his torso turning a splotchy red as well. “Stop ogling me” he crossed his arms over his chest like a woman hiding her breasts, “This is all I have. What do you want?” the Omega glared. “I hear you say you can read.” Arthur said. “Yeah. I can. Is that a problem?” the Omega challenged. Many, many people thought Omegas incapable of learning letters or mathematics, and even if they were, it would be shameful to teach an Omega something suited only to Alphas and Betas. Arthur held up one of the books, and he saw Merlin’s eyes sharpen. “Prove it.” he tossed the book, and the boy scrambled to catch it, fumbling with it. Arthur set the others on the table, walking towards the Omega who had backed against the wall. “Stay away,” he said fearfully. “I’m not going to hurt you, Merlin,” Arthur told him patiently, moving to trap him against the wall. He took the book and opened it, flipping through the pages until he found a passage he was satisfied with. He handed it back, “Read this.” he pointed, then put his hands on the wall on either side of the Omega, making the boy quiver as he looked down at the page. “Don’t stand so close” he whimpered. Arthur wanted to press the Omega against the wall and rut him, but he obediently took a few steps back. Merlin took an unsteady breath in and out. “Th-the wars of th-the Greeks w-were lengthy” he stuttered out, “Gr-Great armies were l-launched to–” Arthur snatched the book away and looked at the passage again. Word for word. “You can read.” he said, impressed. “I told you I could.” the Omega pouted. “You can keep these books, to pass the time.” Arthur looked back up at him. Merlin looked surprised. “Oh, I–” he said, “Um...th-thank you” he stumbled over the words. Arthur gave the Omega his handsomest smile, reserved for charming noblewomen. “You are very welcome, Merlin” he’d made a conscious decision never to call the Omega ‘lýtling’ again, as it was becoming obvious that Cenred had addressed him that way, “I don’t want you to be bored and lonely in here” he reached out to touch the Omega’s cheek, but Merlin flinched back, hitting his head against the wall, “We’re going to be Mated as soon as you go into your Broken Heat. Will you at least let me touch you before then?” he asked in his gentlest voice. An expression of fear and helplessness flashed over Merlin’s face at the mention of their joining, and he looked down. “Sure” he mumbled. Arthur reached out again and let his knuckles slide across the Omega’s smooth, hairless cheek. Merlin’s eyelashes fluttered as Arthur moved in closer, cupping his face. They were almost exactly the same height. “You are exceedingly beautiful, Merlin” he said softly, and the Omega whimpered, “You were wasted on a brute like Cenred” Arthur leaned in, letting his lips brush against Merlin’s, “I want to earn your trust, to show you that I’m not like those people told you. My father would laugh at me and tell me I’m wasting my time, but I want you to trust me” mentioning his father was a mistake, because Merlin’s eyes flew open and he started struggling. “Get off, get off, get off, get off, get off” he chanted, turning his head from the kiss. Arthur backed up again, “I know better than to swoon over you” Merlin bared his teeth. “You will swoon,” Arthur promised, “I will romance you so sweetly that you will forget Cenred completely.” Merlin blushed, scowling. “Leave me alone.” he mumbled. Arthur sighed, but he knew he’d made progress. “I’ll leave you, for now. You can’t keep sending me away forever, healsgebedda” he said, using the more serious endearment usually given to an already Mated Omega, and he watched Merlin’s face turn scarlet. He grinned, bowing to the Omega, and he left, feeling much better. Perhaps he could salvage this situation. =============================================================================== “We’re going to have to leave,” Leon said quietly. Arthur just nodded, looking at his men and the surviving servants, “He is greatly recovered, and his Heat can be dealt with on the way” Arthur nodded again. “First he needs better clothes. You should see the whorish things Cenred put him in.” his lip curled at the thought of Merlin having to wander the castle wearing so little, “I’ll have something nice commissioned for him to wear when we enter Camelot so I can introduce him to the king.” Arthur hadn’t written that letter back, and Uther was going to be completely unprepared to face a male Omega, one of the things he disliked almost as much as magic. “Shall I call for a tailor?” Leon asked. “That would be good. We need it as soon as possible." =============================================================================== “We’re what?” Merlin was frozen with the spoon halfway to his mouth, soup dribbling back into the bowl. “We’re leaving for Camelot in a week” Lancelot told him. Merlin lost his appetite, putting the spoon down. “Oh” he said. His mind conjured images of a great, hulking beast sitting on the throne, tearing apart sorcerers and witches with terrible claws and sharp teeth. Uther Pendragon, the Butcher. Feared by every magic user in all of Albion. “Camelot is a beautiful city” Lancelot told him for the hundredth time, “It looks like a dream when you approach it. I know you’ll miss things here, but Camelot will be better” Merlin didn't answer. Camelot could be as pretty as it liked. It didn't change the fact that it was the executioner’s block these men were leading him to, “You’ll be getting some new clothes soon” Lancelot added, trying to lighten the mood. Merlin looked down at the gauzy fabric wrapped around his body. “What, like, in Camelot colors?” he asked. Lancelot’s eyebrows went up. “No, proper clothes” his cheeks flushed a little, “You can’t ride a horse wearing something like that” Merlin perked up. “I’m going to ride a horse?” he’d only ridden a horse once, and that was when Cenred had taken him to Essetir. The warhorse had been very, very big, and Merlin had clung fearfully to it the entire way. “Of course” Lancelot smile, glad to have found something that pleased Merlin. Motion in the corner of Merlin’s eye caught his attention, and he turned his head. From where he was sitting, he could see out the window into the courtyard. One of Camelot’s knights was riding up, and there was an armour- wearing blonde head waiting for him. The knight dismounted and he and Prince Arthur spoke urgently. They turned, and Merlin saw that the prince was smiling. He glanced up to the window, and saw Merlin watching him. His smile widened, and Merlin looked away, cheeks flaming. Lancelot was peering out the window as well, “Looks like Kay’s back. I’m not sure where Arthur sent him” Merlin had all of his attention on his soup, face still burning at having been caught watching the Alpha. If things had been different, Arthur might not have been a terrible Alpha for Merlin, and Merlin might have been pleased to Mate him. As it was, Arthur might actually have good intentions and legitimately like Merlin and want to take care of him. But all of that would change the instant he found out about Merlin’s magic. Then Merlin would be faced with the monster Edwin had warned him of.     Chapter End Notes the next bit might take a little longer because I have to rework some of it ***** Chapter 5 ***** Chapter Notes Here we see the two extremes of Arthur's personality. And treatises on lavender.   So, um, *cough*, you guys remember that, um *cough*, um, domestic violence tag *cough*? And do you, uh, remember, uh, *cough cough* the *cough* suicide tag? Ahahaha...hahaha...haha...ha...ha...ha...yeah...about that...um... (∗∕ ∕•̥̥̥̥∕ω∕•̥̥̥̥∕) If you are triggered by either of those things, stop reading after the first line-break and go to the end for a summary of the chapter. See the end of the chapter for more notes   Arthur had a hop in his step, a few days later, as he brought the bundle of clothes up to his Omega, who had been measured and fitted the previous day. Arthur had an ace up his sleeve, and he was going to get to see Merlin smile, he was sure of it. He knocked on the door and let himself in the room. Merlin was wrapped in a blanket, rereading one of the books Arthur had brought him. He looked up, twitching when he saw it was Arthur. “Here are your clothes, healsgebedda,” he said, enjoying the Omega’s blush as he set them on the table, “Why don’t you try some on?” Merlin stood, setting the book aside, and cautiously approached, inspecting the clothes. “These are mine?” he asked in disbelief, picking up a plain, red shirt and looking at it, “They’re...not see-through” he sounded so confused that Arthur had to swallow his laughter. “They’re all yours.” he said, picking up the breeches and handing them over, along with the socks and boots. “But...” Arthur got a glimpse of that wide-eyed, innocent Omega that had peeped out of the blankets at him, “I’m not supposed to wear things like this, am I?” he bit his lip. Arthur’s forehead pinched slightly. “What do you mean?” Arthur had to admit, he was going to miss the obscene things Merlin had been wearing. “I’m an Omega,” the boy said, with wide, guileless eyes, “I’m not supposed to wear shirts and trousers and things like Alphas and Betas do” he was gnawing his lip. “Did Cenred tell you that?” Arthur asked. The Omega flushed and glanced away, “I thought so. It’s not true. You might be expected to wear clothes that are more...decorative, but that doesn’t mean you can’t wear proper clothes” he smiled at the amazed look on Merlin’s face, “Go try it on” he said, and Merlin snatched up the other clothes, as if Arthur were going to change his mind and take them away, and went behind the changing screen. Arthur waited, hand wrapped around what he had in his pocket. After a few minutes, the Omega shyly stepped out. Arthur couldn’t help but smile. Now Merlin looked exactly like the teenage boy he was, and not like some wanton whore. Merlin was hugging himself, cheeks pink. “Is it alright?” he asked, voice a little defensive. Arthur made a mock- contemplative face. “Mmm, it’s alright, but I think it’s missing something” he stepped forward, trying to ignore the way the Omega instinctively stepped back, and took his hand out of his pocket, and the object with it, “How about this?” Arthur unfolded the cloth and held it out. Merlin stared at it. “Th-that...that looks like...” his face twisted up in pain, “It looks just like...” Arthur’s smile grew. “That’s because it is” he said, taking the Omega’s hands and wrapping them around the blue scarf, “Your mother is alive and well, and overjoyed that you are safe. She sent this back with Sir Kay, for you” Merlin stared at the scarf in his hands, then at Arthur, wide eyes brimming with tears. “My mum?” he whispered. Arthur nodded. “We might stop to visit her on our journey, depending on how the timing works out” Arthur inhaled as a breathtaking smile blossomed on Merlin’s face, stretching and crinkling his cheeks. “Thank you” he looked dizzy with happiness. “You’re welcome, healsgebedda,” Arthur smiled, reaching up and gently wiping the tears from Merlin’s eyes, “Try it on” he urged. Merlin looked down at the scarf, fumbling with it and folding it, bringing it up to his bare throat, still marked from Cenred’s collar, and tying it in the back. He lowered his hands, looking up. The only thing that betrayed him as an Omega was his scent and his beauty. Otherwise, he just looked like a gangly teenage boy, “You look wonderful” Arthur told him truthfully, enjoying the flush on Merlin’s grinning cheeks. Merlin looked dazzled and absolutely smitten. “Thank you so much,” he said, and then his eyes were brimming with tears again, “Thank you so much.” his voice cracked, and Arthur took a step back, alarmed. The Omega was not supposed to cry, that was not how this was supposed to work. “Why are you crying?” he asked, hands coming up. “I’m so happy” Merlin sniffed, wiping his eyes on his sleeve, “Thank you!” he threw himself into Arthur’s arms, and Arthur held him tightly, nose in his neck, “Thank you so much” Merlin had started to cry in earnest, clinging to the Alpha. Arthur held him, still somewhat baffled by the tears, but reassured that he hadn’t bungled this up. Merlin bawled about being ‘so happy’ and ‘thank you so much’, and Arthur rocked him, stroking his hair. Merlin quieted into sniffles, and they just stood, embracing each other. Arthur continued to stroke the Omega’s hair, “Maybe you’re not so terrible” Merlin whispered into his neck, and Arthur shook with suppressed laughter. “I hope not, lýtling,” he said, freezing when Merlin’s body tensed at the word, and the Omega pulled back, wiping his eyes on his sleeve again. “I can never thank you enough, sire” Merlin murmured, reserved again. “Merlin...” it had been perfect. It had been completely perfect, and Arthur had cocked up. He’d ruined everything. “Thank you” Merlin took a few steps back and bowed. “Is there anything else you want to take with us when we leave?” Arthur asked, hoping to distract from his blunder. The Omega hesitated, “What is it?” Arthur jumped on the opportunity to save face. “There are a few things I want...” Merlin didn’t look at him, “A few personal effects. They aren’t mine. Can I have them?” Merlin stared at the floor. “Of course” Arthur said immediately, “Whatever you want, as long as it’s easily transportable” Merlin nodded, smiling faintly. “Thank you, sire” he bowed again, then returned to his corner with his book, pretending not to watch the Alpha. Arthur could kick himself. “If there is anything you need, don’t be afraid to ask” Arthur reminded him, and he thought he saw Merlin’s lips twitch wryly. “Of course, sire” he’d lapsed back into that formal tone that Arthur had come to hate. “We have many more books in Camelot” Arthur said, then left. Merlin’s smile grew after the door closed. He’d finally have a use for those disguising spells Morgause had taught him. He could make Edwin’s books appear completely innocuous, and he’d be able to take the magical texts with him. Maybe then he could find a way to hide his magic from his Alpha. =============================================================================== “He’s where?” Arthur’s lips were white with anger. “In the sorcerer’s laboratory. He said he had your permission to collect the sorcerer’s effects” Bedivere sounded extremely skeptical. “He does, but he failed to mention that they were a sorcerer’s effects” Arthur said through his teeth, “Take me there”. In the cluttered room, Merlin was urgently whispering spells over the books, concealing their true nature as he stacked them up. He heard fast, angry footsteps and shoved the others away, hiding them. The door banged open, and an angry Alpha stormed in. “What are you doing?” he snapped, making Merlin flinch. “Gathering my friend’s effects” he said, lifting his chin. Arthur’s jaw tightened. “That sorcerer was not your friend” he said, voice full of disgust. “He was!” Merlin insisted, “He was my friend, and I want something to remember him by” he hugged the worn cloak to his chest. “I will not allow you to take magical paraphernalia with us” Arthur scowled. “But these aren’t magic!” Merlin said, voice a little higher than it should have been, “I, I picked out the books that weren’t magic, and, and, this cloak! It’s not magic” he clenched his fists in the fabric. Arthur snatched up one of the books and started flipping through it. Merlin held his breath, hoping his magic held up. “Why did he have a treatise on lavender?” Arthur sneered. “He was a physician. He studied a lot of herbs used for medicinal purposes” that much was true. Arthur tossed the book away. “We have a physician in Camelot, far better than your sorcerer, and much better learned” he turned his back, “No books, you can keep the cloak”. “What?! No!” Merlin protested, eyes wide, “His books were important to him! I can’t leave them behind!” Merlin needed this resource. It was his only hope of surviving this. “If they’re so important, then leave them here with his ghost” Arthur was looking through things, pushing them aside, breaking them. “Arthur, please!” Merlin begged. “I said no!” Arthur turned, making Merlin flinch, “I shouldn’t even let you take that vermin’s cloak, but I’m being considerate. Don’t push me. I won’t have you dwelling on whatever sorceries he was practicing. You need to get it into your head that sorcery is evil, or else you’ll never survive in Camelot” he snapped. “Edwin wasn’t evil!” Merlin yelled, eyes blurring with tears. “He was! All sorcerers are evil, Merlin. He might have been kind to you, but that doesn’t change what he was. Sorcerers are evil and greedy and selfish, and you need to learn that” Arthur moved in closer. “Edwin wasn’t any of those things!! He died protecting me!!” Merlin yelled. “I highly doubt his motives were as pure as that.” Arthur sneered, lip curling. “The only reason he’s dead is because he stayed behind to get me out. Otherwise he would have escaped like all the others.” Merlin’s voice cracked. “You’re Cenred’s prized Omega, you would have sold at a fine price once he’d gotten you out. His kind are all the same, Merlin. The world is a better place with him dead, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Every single one of them is a blight on humanity, and if I had my way, each and every one of them would be just as dead as him” Arthur bared his teeth. Merlin stared at him. “He was right” he whispered, “Oh Gods, he was right. Edwin was right about you. You’re a monster” he took a step back. “I have been nothing but kind and patient with you since our very first meeting, and you have done nothing but be difficult and disrespectful” Arthur advanced on him, “I have overlooked so much, because I thought you were just simple and misguided, but clearly this goes much deeper than that. You want me to be a monster?” he feinted as if to strike the Omega with the back of his hand. Merlin jerked backwards, hitting the back of his head on the wall as if Arthur had actually struck him, and with great force, “Do you, Merlin?!” Arthur raised his voice, and Merlin whined, high and loud, in his throat, raising his hands to show his wrists and tipping his head back to bare his neck, “Are you trying to goad me into showing my true colors?! Is that it?!” he put his hands on the wall on either side of the Omega, who was panting and sweating under the force of the prince’s Alphan anger. “Please,” Merlin whimpered. “Would you feel better if I beat you and torture you and validate everything that freak told you?! Would you?!” Arthur made another abortive gesture to strike the Omega, who shrieked, and Arthur honestly didn’t know if he actually wanted to go through with it and knock some sense into this stubborn Omega. He grabbed the boy by his shoulders, “You want me to be a monster? I’ll show you a fucking monster.” he shook Merlin, feeling the limits of his self control snapping. Who did this Omega think he was, talking to an Alpha that way? “Stop! Stop! Stop!” Merlin shrieked, “Please!” he was white as a sheet, entire body shaking, and Arthur’s hand tightened around his right shoulder, other arm rising to strike. “I’ll teach you some fucking manners, you little cu-” Arthur’s mouth clamped shut, jaw tight, arm raised, ready to strike Merlin across the face. Merlin shook and struggled and sobbed, eyes wild with fear. Arthur let go of him, and he slid down the wall, sobbing and hugging himself. “Oh my Gods, oh my Gods, oh my Gods” he whimpered, covering his head with his arms. Arthur stared down at him, breathing very heavily, a growl building his chest. The Omega at his feet sobbed and shook. There were running footsteps, and several of his knights appeared. “Sire? We heard yelling” they said, eyes going to what they could see of the weeping Omega covering his head. “Take him back to his room” Arthur said through his teeth. “Yes sire” the knights went to the Omega, who began screaming. “SHUT UP!!!” Arthur yelled at him, and he fell completely silent, eyes enormous, trembling all over, “Get him out of my sight” he said, and each knight grabbed a forearm, dragging the whimpering, shivering Omega upright and out of the room. Arthur waited until he was alone, then he trashed the entire laboratory, destroying everything, letting out all his rage and frustration and guilt. =============================================================================== Merlin didn’t cry after that. He just laid in bed and stared at the wall, nose and mouth pressed into Edwin’s cloak. He was so stupid. He’d let himself hope that Arthur wouldn’t be terrible like Uther. He really was a stupid, trusting Omega. Merlin took a shuddering breath in. He heard the door open. “Merlin?” he heard Lancelot’s voice, “What happened?” he sounded worried. Worried for Merlin. Footsteps came closer, and a weight dipped the other side of the bed down, “I heard you and Prince Arthur fought. Are you alright?” warm fingers toyed with the hair at his nape. “I’m not going to live that long” Merlin whispered. “What?” Lancelot leaned in, “Merlin, what are you talking about? What happened?”. “I’m not going to survive long enough to get to Ealdor. He’s going to kill me before then” Merlin felt empty. “Who, Prince Arthur? No, of course not. Arthur wouldn’t hurt you” Lancelot assured him. “He was screaming in my face. He shook me. He had his hand in the air to hit me” Merlin said, and Lancelot winced. “He must have really lost his temper” he mumbled, “Merlin, Arthur does impulsive things when he’s angry. He regrets them later. I’m sure he already regrets what he’s done” he petted the back of Merlin’s head. “He’s glad Edwin’s dead. He told me that Edwin was never my friend and that I’m simple and trusting. He told me that he wishes every single person with magic in the whole world was dead. Edwin was right about him. He’s a monster” Merlin whispered. “Merlin...” Lancelot sighed, then groaned quietly, “He’s really made a mess of this” he ran his fingers through his own hair, “Merlin, Arthur had been taught his entire life that magic is evil. He can’t accept that anyone could be truly good or kind or generous and practice magic. He can’t accept that that man Edwin could have felt anything for you, and it makes him angry that you don’t believe the same things he does. Arthur hasn’t had a lot of dealings with people who don’t think magic is evil, other than sorcerers and his enemies. He is struggling with seeing you as an enemy because you support magic” Lancelot’s touch was soothing, and Merlin already felt better physically. “Do you see me as an enemy?” he asked, and Lancelot was silent for a moment. “No, Merlin” he said, “I think that Edwin was really your friend, and that he really cared about you. I believe you when you say he died protecting you. He loved you. But that doesn’t change the fact that he was a sorcerer. Aside from sorcery, he is wanted in Camelot on several charges of murder and theft. He killed a lot of people. Him caring about you doesn’t change that” Lancelot told him, “I’m sorry, Merlin. I know you cared about him” Merlin stared at the wall. “Do you really think everyone with magic is evil?” he whispered, pressing his face into the cloak. Lancelot thought about it. “Practicing magic is a choice that a person m-” “What if it wasn’t a choice?” Merlin interrupted, “What if someone was born with magic?” he kept his face in the cloak. Lancelot’s eyebrows came together. “Is that possible?” he sounded skeptical. “Maybe. Probably” Merlin said, “What if it was? What if magic wasn’t something you choose? Would that person be evil?” Lancelot was silent for a while. “I don’t know, Merlin. I’ve never heard of such a thing” he admitted. “What if that person who was born with magic didn’t want to hurt anyone or do anything bad, but they couldn’t change who they were?” Merlin whispered. Lancelot was looking down at him, “What if magic was so much a part of them, it was as necessary as breathing? Would they still be evil, no matter what?” there was silence. “I really don’t know, Merlin” Lancelot said softly, but his eyes held a glint of suspicion. “It doesn’t matter. He’s going to kill me. And if he doesn’t kill me, Uther will” Merlin choked on a sob, “I’m going to be Mated to that monster” he fell silent, overwhelmed by despair. “He’s not a monster, Merlin. I just wish he could keep his temper in check long enough for you to see that” Lancelot said in a very low voice, aware that he was sliding over the line from informal into treason, “He’s a good man. He really is”. =============================================================================== Moonlight glittered on the city as Merlin stared out the window. Everyone else was asleep. Merlin felt numb and empty as he dragged the window open, slipping out to stand on the ledge and look at the courtyard below. He’d die if he jumped. It would probably be less painful than burning. He stared at the cobblestone below him. He’d smash his head open on impact. “You, what are you doing?” he heard a distant voice, and he looked up. A guard was walking across the courtyard. They were everywhere. He’d never escape them any other way. Merlin put one foot off the ledge, “Hey, stop!!” the guard was bigger than he’d first estimated, and not wearing Camelot colors. A mercenary. Merlin closed his eyes and silently apologized to his mother, and stepped off.   Chapter End Notes Warnings: Domestic Violence, Attempted Suicide Summary of chapter: After Arthur takes Merlin his new clothes and agrees to let him collect his ""friend's"" effects, Merlin goes to get Edwin's stuff, using magic to disguise magic books as mundane ones. Arthur finds out, goes and confronts him, tells him Edwin wasn't his friend and that all magic is evil and that he's happy Edwin is dead. Merlin calls him a monster and Arthur gets angry and becomes aggressive. He never actually hits Merlin, but does shake him and physically intimidate and threaten him, then sends him away. Merlin falls into a depression, thinking that Arthur is truly a monster. Seeing no other way out, that night, Merlin climbs out his window and steps off the ledge into the courtyard just as one of Camelot's hired mercenaries sees him jump. That's where the chapter ends. Note 1: If anyone in real life ever treats you like that, you get out of there fast. That is very bad and not okay under any circumstances. Note 2: I actually modified this, because originally I had Arthur slam Merlin against the wall and wrap his hands around Merlin's neck and choke him before he gets ahold of himself. Note 3: This is literally rock bottom. Things can only go up from here. Sort of. Note: 4: Notice how I didn't tag Major Character Death ***** Chapter 6 ***** Chapter Notes Me reading your comments: Ψ( ●｀▽´● )Ψ Щ(･｀ω´･Щ) (屮｀∀´)屮 Ψ(￣∀￣)Ψ ಠﭛಠ ლ(｀∀´ლ)   Also, introducing my large son whom I love. Also, also, some character development maybe sorta See the end of the chapter for more notes   “Sire!! Sire!! Sire!!” Sir Owain burst into Arthur’s temporary rooms a few hours before the sun was to rise. “Christ, what?” Arthur groaned. “The Omega is injured!” Owain sounded panicked. Arthur sat upright. “What?!” he demanded. Owain was holding a candle, and it illuminated his deathly pale face. “Sir Lancelot and the healer are with him” he said. Arthur was out of the bed in an instant, searching for his trousers and his boots. “What happened?” he asked. Owain hesitated, “What happened?!” Arthur said, more loudly. “The Omega...jumped” Owain said quietly, and Arthur went still in the middle of putting his boot on, “The Omega tried to kill himself by jumping out of his window into the courtyard” Owain saw the look on Arthur’s face and flinched, “He’s going to live” he added quickly, “One of the mercenaries who agreed to work for us was on guard duty and tried to catch him. They’re both pretty badly hurt”. “Take me there” Arthur commanded, and Owain rushed to obey. He found Lancelot and an elderly woman sitting over Merlin and a very large mercenary. Merlin was unconscious, nearly naked and wrapped up in bandages, covered in huge, blossoming bruises. On the second bed, the mercenary was in the same condition, but was conscious, “How is he?” Arthur immediately asked. “He’ll recover, with time” the old woman said, “Some of his bones are hurt, but not broken. He’ll be bedridden for at least two weeks” she smoothed the hair off the Omega’s forehead, and he didn’t stir. “What happened?” Arthur addressed the mercenary. The large man blinked a few times. “I saw him standing on the window ledge,” he said hoarsely, “I called out to him, but he didn’t answer. He stuck his foot out, and I called again. Then he...” his voice trailed off, “I didn’t know what to do. I tried to catch him.” he murmured. Arthur cast a critical eye over him. “What’s your name?” he asked. “Percival, sire.” the man rasped. “Percival,” Arthur repeated, “You saved the life of my betrothed Omega. I am deeply indebted to you.” he didn’t let himself look at the Omega, who looked so small and weak and deathly still. “There is no debt, sire. I did what I felt was right, no more.” Percival coughed, wincing in pain as he did so. “They both need rest.” the healer cut in sternly, reminding Arthur of Gaius. He nodded. “Thank you,” he said again, turning to Lancelot, who was holding Merlin’s hand. His face was serious. Arthur nodded to him, and he stood, gently placing Merlin’s hand on his stomach and following the prince out, “How could this happen?” Arthur said through his teeth as soon as they were out of the room. “Omegas are deeply emotional, sire. He’s young and afraid and not thinking logically.” Lancelot said, voice reserved. Arthur could hear hidden judgment in his voice. “I suppose you think this is my fault.” he said, clenching his fists. “Yes,” Lancelot said frankly, surprising him, “But Merlin is also to blame for his own actions. His worldview is not compatible with yours and he’s very opinionated” Lancelot sounded sad. “I knew he’d be upset,” Arthur said, running his fingers through his hair, “But I never thought...” Merlin had tried to kill himself. Merlin would legitimately rather be dead than Mate Arthur. The Omega hated him that much. Arthur felt nauseated.   “Maybe you’re not so terrible”   “He was right...oh Gods, he was right. Edwin was right about you. You’re a monster”   He couldn’t wrap his head around it. Merlin’s mind had been so poisoned by those sorcerers, by that sorcerer Edwin, that he would rather die than be Mated to a Pendragon. That he could not accept that sorcery was evil. Was there even hope for Merlin? Hope that he could be made to see sense? Or was he irreversibly deluded? “He was extremely despondent yesterday afternoon,” Lancelot said softly, “I left after he became completely unresponsive. I should have stayed.” there was guilt in his voice now. “It’s not your fault, Lancelot. It’s mine,” Arthur told him, covering his face with his hands, “If I hadn’t-” he was interrupted by a high, keening wail from within the room. He yanked the door back open and they both ran into the room. Merlin was awake and wailing. “Let me die!!” he keened, “Just let me die!!” he sobbed helplessly, “Why didn’t you let me die?!” he caught sight of Arthur in the doorway and went absolutely mental, screaming and thrashing and aggravating his injuries as the healer and her assistants tried to hold him down without hurting him further. Arthur couldn’t move, eyes locked with Merlin. The fear and pain and hatred in Merlin’s eyes had paralyzed him. Lancelot pushed past Arthur, going to Merlin’s side and trying to calm him, which only served to agitate the Omega even more. Arthur took a step back, then fled, like a coward, back to his room, curling up on the floor, leaning against the door, face in his hands, shaking. What was he going to do? =============================================================================== Merlin didn’t speak at all after that. He didn’t do anything. He seemed to have gone into shock, and did nothing but stare blankly ahead. He ate and drank and went to the bathroom, but otherwise gave no indication of having any mental capacity left. The only time he reacted was when the mercenary, Percival, had tried to speak with him. Merlin had gone berserk and tried to rip his throat out with his teeth, screaming that he should have let Merlin die, and that this was his fault. After they dragged him off and subdued him, he became unresponsive again. He gave no indication of noticing Arthur when the Alpha sat at his bedside, holding his hand and stroking it. The healer said his body was healing at a surprising rate and that he would barely scar from the incident. She knew nothing of how to help his mind aside from giving him time. “I don’t think there’s even been an Omega like you, Merlin” Arthur murmured, kissing Merlin’s hand, letting his lips linger. Merlin stared at the ceiling with dead eyes, “You’re one of a kind” he kissed Merlin’s palm, “I’m thinking about sending some men to fetch your mother here to see you. Would you like that?” Merlin didn’t react, “I know you miss her a great deal. I should have brought her here sooner. She’ll know how to help you” he pressed his lips to Merlin’s knuckles, keeping them there and closing his eyes. “What was so wonderful about that sorcerer, Merlin? Was it that he was kind to you? Did he feed you and tend to the marks Cenred left on you? Did he give you that affection Omegas need? What made him so amazing that he’s so important to you?” Arthur whispered, “What was so wonderful about him that it made defending magic so important to you?” Merlin didn’t answer, and Arthur sighed, leaning in and kissing his forehead, “What did he tell you that made you want to die rather than be Mated to me?” he put Merlin’s hand on his stomach, and left the room.   =============================================================================== Several days later, Arthur came in and threw the books on the table. His hair was a mess, he looked like he hadn’t slept or eaten or done anything to himself since the last time he’d visited. “Is this what you want?” he growled. Edwin’s books lay scattered across the table. Merlin stared blankly at where his feet were tenting the blanket, “Is this what you want, Merlin?” Arthur grabbed one of the books, striding towards the bed and tossing it into Merlin’s lap, “The sorcerer’s books? This is what you wanted, wasn’t it?” his voice was tight and angry, “That’s what all of this has been about, hasn’t it? Muirden and his books? Well guess what? You can have them. You can have the fucking books. You can have the books and the cloak. You can have whatever you want, Merlin. I cede. You’ve won” he spat. Merlin didn’t move or react, “Maybe the books will help. Maybe the books will tell you how to escape the fate worse than death that is being Mated to me. Maybe the books will bring you comfort once you’re Mated to a monster” Arthur was shaking with anger as he stood beside the bed, “Is that what you want? To be able to pretend you’re with him and not the monster prince? Will you still scream and weep that you want to die? Or will the books tell you how to kill me? Muirden would be so proud of you for killing Uther Pendragon’s son. Are you going to avenge him? Avenge him and his brethren?” Arthur pulled a sharp dagger out of his belt. He almost hoped that the action would make the Omega flinch, but Merlin did nothing, eyes still glassy and lifeless. He dropped to his knees beside the bed, wrapping Merlin’s fingers around the hilt of the dagger and bringing it up under his chin. “Do it” he growled, “Do it. Avenge your precious sorcerer. Destroy the monster” his eyes were wet as he held Merlin’s limp wrist. He let go, and Merlin’s arm dropped, lifeless. Arthur felt like he’d already been stabbed, and his head fell forward onto the bed, “What did he tell you?” he said into the blanket, muffling the way he was choking on the words “What have I done to deserve this fear and hatred? Is it because I am my father’s son? Is it because I fight in his name? Am I truly a monster? Am I truly so terrible that death is preferable to Mating me? You did not even hate Cenred this much” he continued to choke on the tears he was holding in. He startled when he felt fingers moving in his hair. He stayed still as gentle fingers stroked the hair on the crown of his head. Very slowly, he lifted his head and his gaze. The dagger lay in Merlin’s lap, on top of the book, and the Omega was looking at him with dewy eyes. Long, delicate fingers cupped his cheek, and Arthur leaned into the touch. “You look tired” Merlin said faintly. Arthur closed his eyes. “I couldn’t sleep. I was worried about you” he whispered. “You shouldn’t worry about me” Merlin had tears clinging to his eyelashes, heavy and ready to fall. “You’re my Omega. I cannot rest when you are unwell. I cannot be at ease” Arthur told him, and the tears fell from Merlin’s lashes as they were replaced with new ones, “Let me prove to you that Muirden was wrong about me. Let me prove it to you before your Heat, so you will not fear me when the time comes” Arthur reached up and wiped Merlin’s tears away with his thumb. “Will you really let me take the books?” Merlin whispered, and Arthur nodded. “You can take whatever you want. Anything that isn’t magical” he promised. Merlin smiled tremulously. “Thank you” he whispered, “It means a lot to me” he stroked his thumb over Arthur’s cheekbone. “I know” Arthur said solemnly, “That’s the only reason I’m allowing it” Merlin’s smile flickered, and he looked down at his lap, “I will give you whatever you need, Merlin” Arthur took the hand on his face and kissed the palm, making Merlin shiver at the intimacy of the gesture. Edwin had never done that, and Cenred most surely had not. “I’ll...I’ll try to be better” Merlin told the book and dagger in his lap, “I know I’ve done nothing but defy you and insult you, and I’m...” his mouth tightened. Arthur tipped his chin up. “I didn’t mean those things I said” he said very seriously, “You’ve been in a very, very upsetting and stressful situation, and you’re still so young” he smiled when Merlin pouted, “You’re not a child” he said before Merlin could object, “But it wasn’t very long ago that you were one. How old were you when Cenred took you?” Merlin looked back down at his lap. “Fourteen” he murmured, and Arthur had a vague urge to vomit on the bedspread. “Fourteen?” he’d imagined that it hadn’t been very long, that Merlin had already been sixteen, or nearly sixteen, at the least, “And you’d already Presented?” Merlin nodded. “I’d just had my first Heat” he murmured. Arthur wanted to kill Cenred again. “You were a child” he really wanted to kill Cenred again, “You were fourteen, barely Presented, and Cenred just snatched you up away from your mother for no good reason?” if they hadn’t burned Cenred’s body in a show of respect to his station, Arthur would have dug up his body and mutilated it. Merlin flushed and looked away, squeezing his hands. That was his lying face. “He told me I was very pretty...and that I didn’t have a choice” the words sounded true, but Arthur could tell he was leaving something out. Arthur wasn’t going to push it, not yet. Merlin had come out of his stupor, and Arthur would not ruin this for anything. “I’m sorry he did that to you” Arthur captured one of Merlin’s hands and kissed the knuckles, “I wish I could return you home, but I don’t have a choice” he sighed, “Even if I did, if I sent you back, news of your existence would travel quickly, and many Alphas would come to Claim Cenred’s Omega” Merlin flinched, “But rejecting you would bring great shame on Camelot and myself and my father” Merlin’s expression flickered, but he didn’t say anything, “It would make me, us, look tyrannical. We would look like brutes who would widow an Omega and then abandon it. It would look like we thought so highly of ourselves that we would turn away what any other Alpha would consider a prize because of our own arrogance. I don’t know if my knights could continue to respect me if I sent you away. My father would either send my knights back to fetch you or exile me to save face” Merlin flinched again. “I didn’t realize” he said quietly, “I’m sorry” Arthur’s eyebrows drew together. “You don’t have to be sorry, Merlin. It’s my duty to serve Camelot and my father and bring pride to my kingdom and my king. Besides, you’re a victim in all of this. You had no choice in what happened to you, or to anyone else. Don’t apologize” he stroked Merlin’s hand. Merlin’s face had scrunched up unhappily. “You’re only Claiming me because you have to or you’ll be exiled. You don’t get any more choice in this than I do, and I’ve been doing nothing but accusing you of being a monster” Merlin carefully picked up the dagger and held it in both hands. Arthur gently took it from him, putting it away. “I don’t blame you for being upset or judging me based on the only information you had. Those were the only things you’d ever heard about me” he said, and Merlin shifted in a way that said he’d heard other things about Arthur as well, that were even less flattering, and Arthur really dreading eventually finding out what that was, “You had no reason not to believe them. You were never taught the dangers of magic and why it’s so bad” Merlin shot him a look, and Arthur sighed, “We won’t talk about that right now. The point is, you acted in a completely reasonable way for someone in your position” his eyes darkened, “The only thing that I...” he looked down, mouth thin, “You tried to kill yourself, Merlin” he said quietly. Merlin ducked his head, cheeks warm with shame. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. Arthur ran his fingers through his hair, trying to find the words for what he was feeling. Having an Omega was turning out to involve a lot more emotions than he’d originally anticipated and he was ill- prepared for it. “Did...Muirden tell you to do that if you were captured by Camelot?” Arthur sounded hopeful, as if it wouldn’t be as bad if it had been an idea he’d gotten from someone else, which, probably wouldn’t be as bad. “No,” Edwin had actually made a comment to that effect, but Merlin hadn’t been thinking of it when he decided to step off the window ledge, “I wasn’t thinking right. I won’t do it again” Merlin promised. Falling had felt like flying, and Merlin had kept his eyes tightly shut, waiting for impact. He’d made impact, with something much less hard than the cobblestone of the courtyard. “No, you won’t” Arthur told him sternly, but kissed the inside of Merlin’s wrist, “I’m going to make sure you have too many things to look forward to to even think about ending your life” his eyes were intense, lips still pressed to the blue veins on Merlin’s wrist, “We’re going to visit your mother, schedule be damned” he promised. Merlin’s lips trembled in a small smile, and he nodded, closing his eyes. There was no way Arthur could know how much pain this was causing Merlin. The Omega knew that very soon, that intense protectiveness and awkward kindness would turn to anger and betrayal and hatred. Merlin didn’t know if he could bear it. “I’d like that. Thank you, hæsere” Merlin murmured, and Arthur’s grip on his arm tightened. The term of respect for an Alpha was the last thing he’d expected to come out of Merlin’s mouth. “You are very welcome, healsgebedda” he replied, enjoying the Omega’s blush. Chapter End Notes I love all of my idiot sons even though they ruined my life Me: *updates* *waits thirty seconds* *refreshes and checks for comments* ***** Chapter 7 ***** Chapter Notes You guys are like "OMG U UPDATE SO FAST UR AMAZING!" and I'm like *looks at google doc entitled "broken omegaverse"* "page 13 of 32" Me:...yeah *thinks about when I inevitably run out of prewritten stuff to post for you guys* Me: *sweats* Also, masturbation in this chapter d=(´▽｀)=b P.S.- "Oaknut" is supposed to be a link, and you should click it because it's safe and important See the end of the chapter for more notes “Her name is Oaknut” Arthur told Merlin as the Omega stroked the roan’s mane. Merlin looked at the tiny reflection of his face in the large brown eye staring calmly at him. “She’s so pretty” Merlin murmured. Arthur moved, standing directly behind the Omega and looking at the horse over his shoulder. Merlin shivered at the closeness, feeling his cheeks start to burn. “She’s yours.” Arthur said into the Omega’s ear. Merlin turned around to look at him. “Really?” “Yes, really” the Alpha smiled, tucking a bit of hair behind the Omega’s ear. The horse leaned over and nibbled Merlin’s ear, making him squirm and laugh and turn back to face it, kissing its nose, “She’s a very good horse, if a bit mischievous. I thought you two would get along well” Omegas were known for having a special affinity to animals, especially male Omegas, and it seemed Merlin was no exception, murmuring to the horse and stroking it. “Thank you, hæsere,” Merlin said. He used the honorific occasionally now since he could tell Arthur liked it. Hands rested on his waist and hot breath puffed on the curve of his neck as Arthur pressed against his back, and Merlin gasped, face bright red. “If you keep calling me that, you’re going to drive me to rut” Arthur said into the Omega’s ear, and felt the shiver that went through Merlin’s entire body. “Ahh,” Merlin squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to rub greedily back against the Alpha, “Ahh,” he bit his lip, quivering when Arthur kissed his neck. “I’ll let you two get acquainted,” he said, pressing a few softer kisses to the vulnerable skin, before his solid presence against Merlin’s back disappeared, and he was walking away. Oaknut licked Merlin’s cheek, and he cracked one eye open. “Is he a good owner?” he whispered to the horse. He couldn’t think of anyone else to ask. Predictably, the horse did not respond, only nosing his hand, “Is he a kind owner? Does he use the crop on you? Cenred used the crop on me a few times” he stroked the horse, “But only when I was really bad. I really hate the crop” he found a brush, dragging it through the horse’s mane, “You were probably born to belong to Arthur. They probably picked out your mum and dad to have you. I don’t even know who my dad is” Merlin’s smile was sad, “I bet it’s nice, not having to worry if people are going to hate you. All you have to do is wear a saddle and be ridden. All I have to do is wear a collar and be ridden” Merlin laughed bitterly, “I reckon the two of us will get to be good friends. You’ll be the mare to carry the Mad, Magic Omega of Ealdor into Camelot to be burned. That’s something to tell your friends about, yeah?” Merlin wrapped his arms around the horse’s neck, and Oaknut nickered quietly in his ear as he trembled, “He’s going to hate me” he whispered into the horse’s neck. Oaknut whinnied softly, shaking her head, then stood very still as the Omega cried on her. ===============================================================================   “You cannot believe what he tells you,” Edwin ran his fingers through Merlin’s hair where Merlin was resting his head on the Beta’s shoulder. “I know,” Merlin whispered miserably. “Be patient. Be submissive. Your greatest strength lies in underestimation. Pray that your Broken Heat does not come until after you arrive in Camelot. You will have only a very narrow window of time in which to kill Uther, then his brat.” Edwin told him. Merlin’s lips trembled, “Do you understand, Merlin?” Merlin squeezed his eyes shut. “I miss you,” he whimpered, and Edwin sighed. “I know you do, darling, I know.” Merlin’s cheeks were wet when he opened his eyes. The room was dark and empty, the shutters nailed shut so he wouldn’t be tempted to jump again, room stripped bare of anything he could use to harm himself. He was alone. Edwin was gone. Merlin closed his eyes again and tried to dream of home. =============================================================================== Merlin stared through the crack in the boarded up window, into the courtyard. Everything was bustling, getting ready for their departure at dawn. Merlin bit his lip, stepping back. Would he be Mated on the hard ground, the canvas of the tent the only thing separating him from the rest of the camp, who would listen to him wail and beg for Arthur’s knot? The thought made him nauseated. Would Arthur really make him endure that? He glanced over his shoulder at the door, gnawing his lip. He walked over and whispered a spell to keep it shut, but not locked. Then he kicked off his boots, crawling onto the bed and unlacing his breeches, pushing them down to his knees. His little, mostly useless cock hung soft between his thighs. It had stopped growing when he was around nine, which had been the first indication of his sex. Merlin slid his hand between his legs, past his cock. He twitched slightly when his fingers touched his hole. He took a shuddering breath in, carefully touching himself there. He teased and probed the tight little hole, but nothing happened. He didn’t get slick or even loosen up. Was that normal? He continued to try to tease himself to slickness. He imagined it was Arthur’s warm, strong hand teasing him, and the thought made him moan and press his face into the pillow, but he didn’t get wet. He tried thinking about Cenred. Nothing. He tried thinking about Edwin. Absolutely nothing. Merlin squeezed his eyes shut. ‘You’re so tense, Merlin’ Arthur would whisper into his ear, ‘You don’t have to be afraid.’ his hand would touch Merlin expertly, knowing exactly what to do. Arthur was an experienced, worldly Alpha, and he would know how to manipulate an Omega’s body, how to make them pliant and resistless, how to work them into a frenzy of desire for a knot. He’d pin Merlin down and kiss the back of his neck until he was utterly helpless and completely under the Alpha’s influence. Merlin whined loudly in the present, touching himself more aggressively, then yelping loudly when he pressed his finger too deep, breaking the illusion. He opened his eyes. He was still as tight and shriveled as he had been before, cock completely soft. Merlin laced his trousers back up, wiping his hand on them, and put his boots on. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve. He just needed more time. It was too soon after Cenred dying. The thought was painful on a visceral level, not because he particularly missed his Alpha, but because it felt like something vital had been removed from him. Merlin walked back and peeked out the window again. There was a knock on the door. “Merlin,” it was Arthur. He tried to open the door, but Merlin’s magic held it in place. He rattled it, “Merlin.” the Alpha said again, louder. Merlin paled, running to the door and whispering an incantation. He yanked the door open, coming face to face with a frowning Arthur, “How’d you open it?” he asked, ‘When I couldn’t.’ went unsaid. Merlin shrugged jerkily. “I, erm, jiggled it?” he said uncertainly. Arthur’s eyes narrowed slightly, but he dropped the subject. “Are you sure you have everything?” he asked for the fifth time. Merlin resisted the urge to roll his eyes, and nodded. “Yes, hæsere.” he said. Arthur growled softly as Merlin skittered backwards, grinning. “Merlin,” the prince said warningly. “Yes, hæsere?” Merlin asked coquettishly. Arthur’s eyes darkened. “Are you mocking me, Merlin?” he narrowed his eyes. “Of course not, hæsere.” Arthur slowly advanced on the Omega, who continued to back away, grinning. “Come here.” Arthur commanded, but Merlin put the table between them. “No.” he was grinning from ear to ear. “Merlin,” the Alpha said, and the boy giggled. “No,” he said again, giggling. “Are you going to make me chase you?” Arthur asked. There was barely the slightest hint of playfulness in his eyes, but Merlin saw it, “Because I won’t let you get away.” the words sent a thrill of excitement through Merlin. “I’m faster than you,” he said, a little bit breathless, “I have longer legs.” Arthur started moving around the table, and Merlin matched him, always staying opposite. “Yes, but I have more endurance than you. You’ll tire out quickly, and I’ll catch you, and dominate you.” it sounded like a promise. The excitement and desire of the moment disappeared completely and were replaced by the unequivocal knowledge that there was definitely something wrong with him, because what he was feeling right now should absolutely come with a gush of slick down his leg. Merlin’s expression must have changed, because Arthur stopped, “Merlin?” he said. Merlin’s mouth tightened and he swallowed shakily, “What’s wrong? Did, did I frighten you?” he asked uncertainly. “No, no, I’m fine,” Merlin gave the Alpha his best smile, which was unbelievably forced, “I just, I, I, remembered something.” he perked up, “There was one more thing I needed. I almost forgot it.” he lied through his teeth. Arthur didn’t look convinced. He put his hands on the table, leaning forward to look at the Omega. “It’s alright, Merlin. I understand.” he said. Merlin hesitated. “You do?” he asked, forced smile still on his face. Arthur nodded. “Your life has been turned upside-down in such a short time. You’re still recovering from your injury, not to mention losing your Alpha,” Merlin had unconsciously moved closer to the Alpha, hips bumping the table, “You’ve been trapped here for over two years, and now suddenly you’re leaving with people you hardly know, to live in another new place. I don’t blame you for being scared, Merlin.” he reached out and brushed his knuckles over Merlin’s cheek. Merlin was leaning forward too now “But I want you to know that if there’s anything you’re worried about or don’t understand, you can come to me.” this close, Merlin could see that Arthur had thick, dark lashes that many women and Omegas would envy, and that his lips looked very soft. Arthur closed the distance between them, pressing his lips to Merlin’s. Merlin’s mouth opened and he moaned quietly as Arthur slowly deepened the kiss, reaching up to cup his face. “I’m going to take care of you, Merlin,” Arthur said into his mouth, “No harm will ever come to you again, because you are mine.” Merlin moaned loudly as the Alpha held his face in both hands. He broke the kiss, pulling back, leaving Merlin leaning over the table, mouth hanging open, blinking dazedly. Merlin made a small, Omegan noise that made Arthur smile, “You want more?” he asked. “Yes,” Merlin said, a bit too intensely. Arthur pulled out one of the chairs and sat in it, beckoning. Merlin all but dashed around the table, eyes wide. Arthur pulled the Omega into his lap, tugging him down for another kiss. Merlin made Omegan noises of pleasure and approval as Arthur kissed him languidly, caressing his face, “Arthur,” Merlin panted, breaking the kiss. “Yes, healsgebedda?” Arthur said, eyes hooded. Merlin bit his lip. “My Heat,” he whispered, and Arthur froze, eyes going wide. “Your Broken Heat is coming?” he asked in a hushed but alarmed voice. Merlin shook his head. “No, no, no, not yet,” he said, and Arthur relaxed, “I just...what are we going to do?” he asked. Arthur’s forehead scrunched up. “What do you mean?” he traced Merlin’s cheekbones with his fingertips. Merlin gnawed his lip. “What are we going to do if I go into Heat during the trip? Will you just knot me inside a tent while the whole camp listens?” he asked. Arthur’s eyes widened again. “Of course not!” he said indignantly. Merlin relaxed, “Do you think I would do that?” Merlin shrugged, and Arthur looked offended, “Of course we won’t do that. As soon as you feel your Broken Heat coming we’ll stop and start setting up a place for us away from the others. There will be Beta guards nearby, to keep us safe, but they won’t hear any more than they would if they were standing guard outside a door.” Merlin’s eyes fell closed in relief, and he sighed. “Good.” he said, leaning forward and rubbing his nose against Arthur’s. The Alpha began kissing him again, hand moving down to rub his flank possessively. It made something warm and happy curl in Merlin’s stomach. Cenred had never done anything like this with him. Merlin broke the kiss, moving to kiss Arthur’s cheek. The cheek crinkled into a smile as Merlin kissed it again, moving to kiss just beside Arthur’s mouth. He knew he really wasn’t supposed to, but it felt right, and he didn’t think Arthur would mind too much, “But...” he pulled back. “What?” Arthur asked, voice husky. “If we’re not in a bed, what will you tie me to?” he asked. Arthur opened his mouth, then closed it. “I...you...what?” he looked absolutely baffled. Merlin’s cheeks turned pink. “During my Heat,” he said defensively, “You won’t have anything to tie me to.” “Wh-...why would I tie you to something?” the Alpha was looking at him as if he’d gone mad. Merlin’s face heated up more. “Because that’s what you do,” did Arthur really know so little about Mating? “You have to tie me down.” Merlin was frustrated that he had to explain this. “Says who?” Arthur challenged quizzically. Merlin hesitated, “Cenred?” the Alpha asked, and Merlin’s cheeks were bright red now. “That’s the way he always did it and he said he had to.” Merlin mumbled. Arthur sighed. “It’s not true,” he assured the boy, “You don’t have to be tied down.” Arthur sighed again, “You were wasted on him,” Arthur murmured, barely audible, but Merlin heard it, “He didn’t deserve something so good and pure,” he kissed Merlin again, deeply, “He had no idea how lucky he was to have you.” ‘Cenred knew exactly how lucky he was to have snatched me up,’ Merlin thought bitterly, warmth and pleasure fading away, ‘A couple more years and I would have been his weapon against you.’ he broke the kiss again, turning away. “Are you alright?” Arthur stroked his cheek. “Yes, hæsere,” Merlin said softly, “I appreciate your concern.” he looked down. Arthur was silent several moments, just looking at him. “Would you like to roam the halls one last time?” he asked, finally. Merlin nodded, “I’ll walk with you. Exercise will do you good.” Merlin nodded again, extremely aware of just how unresponsive his body was being, even under the ministrations of such a virile Alpha. He hoped Arthur wouldn’t notice.   Chapter End Notes Sssssooooooo... howobviousisitthatIhavenofuckincluewhatI'mdoing? ***** Chapter 8 ***** Chapter Notes I honestly need a Beta, or at least someone to yell at about my fic. Here, have more of this trainwreck.   “Merlin,” Arthur said for what had to be the tenth time. The Omega was turned all the way around on his saddle, looking back at the slowly shrinking castle in the distance. Arthur motioned to one of the servants, who moved around Merlin’s horse, catching him before he could tip off. The Omega’s eyes were wide and vulnerable as he stared at what had been his prison for the last two years. Arthur watched him fondly. He was currently mentally planning the evening, when he would visit his Omega’s tent and hold and pet him. He was determined he would make Merlin purr, “Merlin, play attention to where your horse is going” he chastised lightly. The Omega pouted at him, then smiled wickedly. “Yes, hæsere” he lowered his eyes demurely, still smiling. Arthur fought the urge to growl. The Omega thought he could tease him when Arthur was not at liberty to rut him until he begged? Arthur rode his horse over towards Merlin, who shrank back, eyes widening with alarm. Arthur fell in pace with him, moving as close as he could and leaning over. “We could always spend tonight teaching you to polish my sword instead of getting to know one another,” he said, and Merlin’s cheeks and ears flushed cherry red. Arthur laughed, guiding his horse away from Merlin’s. Merlin stared straight ahead, cheeks flaming. He ought to be gushing slick at the very suggestion, but he stayed dry and unaroused. He had vivid memories of Cenred’s big, Alpha cock forcing his lips apart. He remembered being terrified of how big it was and crying that he would choke and die. It wasn’t terrible when Cenred was fucking him, because Merlin couldn’t see it, but he couldn’t ignore it when it was right in his face. He had choked, and it had been terrifying and wonderful. Merlin had panicked the first time it hit the back of his throat and he’d gagged, and his magic had nearly torn the room apart. He’d been beaten soundly for that ‘little stunt’. Lancelot rode up beside Merlin, ignoring his flaming face, giving him a small, encouraging smile. Merlin managed a weak one in return. “How far is it from the castle to your village?” he asked kindly. “Erm, I dunno. A few days” Merlin said softly, trying not to imagine Arthur’s big Alpha cock dangling in front of his face, “But it will take a lot longer with all of us.” he must be really messed up if the thought of Arthur’s knot wasn’t getting him excited and wet. “Are you excited to see your mother?” Lancelot sent the prince the sternest look he dared, warning him to be gentle with the young Omega. Arthur just smirked, extremely pleased with himself and the reaction he’d gotten from Merlin. The Omega perked up. “Yeah,” he said, smiling, “It’s been a long time” his eyes misted over a little. “Kay said she was overjoyed to hear that you were well. I know you’ll both be very happy to be together again” the Beta said warmly. Merlin smiled mistily at the road ahead.   =============================================================================== “Merlin,” Arthur opened the flap of the tent to find Merlin sitting crosslegged, staring at the empty bowl in his hands. He glanced up. He looked weary, “How are you feeling?” he scooted into the tent, which wasn’t tall enough to stand up in. “Alright,” Merlin said unconvincingly, shrugging. Arthur reached out and took his hand, lacing their fingers together. “How does it feel to leave that place?” he asked. Merlin set the bowl aside. “Terrifying.” he admitted, not looking at the Alpha. He’d tried again before they left, several times, to get himself aroused, and had failed. There was definitely something wrong with him. It had been almost two months. Arthur squeezed his hand. “You’re going to love Camelot,” Merlin was told for the millionth time, and he nodded. Eventually, Arthur was going to want to have sex with him, even if he wasn’t in Heat. Maybe his touch would make Merlin’s body loosen up. He let himself be nudged into the Alpha’s lap, resting his head on his shoulder as he was caressed. “Hæsere,” Merlin murmured, and Arthur growled quietly. “Yes, healsgebedda?” he replied. “Can...can I sleep in your tent tonight?” the Omega asked very softly. The stroking hand stopped, and Arthur cupped his face, forcing their eyes to meet. “Are you ready for that?” he asked doubtfully. Merlin’s face turned red. “No, I...I didn’t mean...” his face burned brighter, “...I just...” he bit his lip, “Cenred always told me that if I tried to leave, the wolves would eat me. And I know he was probably lying about that, but I...” he lowered his gaze. Arthur leaned forward and kissed him gently. “I will protect you from the wolves,” he promised, tugging Merlin’s head down to rest on his shoulder again. Merlin smiled, closing his eyes. “Thank you,” he whispered. Arthur’s hands and scent were like a drug, draining all resistance and tension from Merlin’s body. Not even the tenderest caress from a Beta could compare with this. Merlin had forgotten it. The first of the two times Cenred cuddled him, Merlin had been gobsmacked that anything could feel so good. It hadn’t lasted long, but it imprinted itself in Merlin’s memory. He made a soft Omegan noise of pleasure without thinking, then trilled to indicate his approval of the Alpha holding him. He and Arthur both remained unaware that his eyes had begun to glow gold. “Merlin,” Arthur said softly, playing with the hair at Merlin’s nape. When Lancelot did it, it felt lovely. When Arthur did it, it wiped all conscious thought from his mind. There was currently absolutely nothing in Merlin’s head, body sagging. He began to purr, and the noise got louder. The bowl beside them wobbled, moving on its own, but Arthur didn’t notice. Arthur’s other hand traveled down between Merlin’s parted thighs, “Good boy,” he murmured, rubbing Merlin through his breeches. Nothing happened. No wetness soaking through, no clench of desire, no jerk of his hips. Nothing. Arthur frowned as Merlin continued to purr loudly and obliviously. Arthur rubbed gently. No reaction. Merlin’s little cock didn’t even get hard. “Gggghh” Merlin slurred happily, still purring. Arthur frowned deeply, finally removing his hand and putting it at the small of Merlin’s back, pulling him closer. That didn’t make sense. Arthur had been with enough Omegas to know that just touching the back of Merlin’s neck should have him slick and clenching. “Mer- oh, sire,” Lancelot stopped after pulling back the tent flap. Merlin was purring exceptionally loudly, face pressed into Arthur’s neck, cuddled up to his chest. Arthur saw Lancelot’s expression soften fondly at the sight of Merlin, so docile and content in a purely Omegan way. “Thank you for checking in on him, but I’ll take care of him.” Arthur pressed a kiss to Merlin’s temple. Lancelot nodded, bowing slightly and putting the flap back down. Arthur caressed the Omega, who was incapable of doing anything other than purring stupidly in the Alpha’s arms. Arthur could feel him drooling on his neck, and shuddered, but didn’t push him off, “You’re so beautiful, Merlin.” the Omega didn’t respond, “I’d do absolutely anything for you, but you have no clue, do you?” Merlin didn’t even know that Arthur was talking to him, and the bowl rocked and wobbled behind them, “Morgana’s going to love you. She’s going to have all sorts of beautiful clothes fashioned for you. She’ll dote on you.” the purrs grew soft as Merlin started to doze off, “Father won’t like you, and that will just make it harder to convince you he’s not an evil tyrant.” the purrs stopped, finally, once Merlin was fast asleep, the glow fading from his eyes, and the bowl was still. Arthur continued to pet him absently, deep in thought. He had to carry Merlin to his own tent, sharing his bedroll with the Omega. He fell asleep with Merlin cuddled to his chest. It felt right, like they were meant to be slotted together like this. That was Arthur’s last thought of the night. =============================================================================== “Wake up, sleepyhead.” Edwin lightly tickled Merlin’s sides through his shirt, making him giggle and squirm. “Stop it.” he giggled. Edwin started kissing the sensitive skin behind Merlin’s ears, “Nooooo, stop,” Merlin laughed. “It’s time to get up,” the kisses continued, hot and wet on the sensitive skin. “Stop, Edwin, stop,” Merlin laughed, and the kisses did stop, “Don’t tease me, or I’ll tell Cenred.” Edwin should have told him that he’d turn Merlin into a toad if he tried, and then he would keep Merlin in a jar and watch the guards and servants looking around for the king’s missing Omega while feeding Merlin fat, juicy flies. But he didn’t. Edwin said nothing. Merlin rolled over, grabbing his arm and pulling him down, cuddling to Edwin’s chest. “I don’t wanna get up yet,” he whined. Edwin didn’t respond, or move, “Edwin, go turn Cenred into a flea so he won’t send me to lessons with the others. I want to stay here with you.” Edwin should have told him that he was a very silly, lazy boy who needed to learn the art of magic from many sources in order to truly master it. But he didn’t. Edwin said nothing. Merlin reached up, blindly touching his face, hand moving to cup his cheek. Merlin stopped, and frowned. The skin was smooth and unscarred. “Edwin?” Merlin mumbled, cracking his eyes open to look at the face above his, “You’re not Edwin.” “No. I’m not.” the voice was clipped and icy. Merlin blinked, eyes focusing. Arthur Pendragon looked back at him. The Alpha’s face could have been carved from stone. Merlin recoiled, cheeks flaming. “Arthur!” he squeaked, and he wanted to turn to liquid so he could soak into the ground and disappear, “I’m...” Merlin’s face burned with embarrassment, “I’m...” he stared at the Alpha’s sternum, unable to look him in the eye, “Arthur, I...” the Alpha let go of him, sitting up and getting to his feet, “Arthur,” Merlin whispered. “There’s breakfast outside. We need to get moving soon.” Arthur didn’t look back at Merlin, voice impassive. “Arthur, I-” the Alpha left the tent before Merlin could finish. Merlin looked down at the ground, biting his lip. Arthur was angry with him. He hoped Arthur didn’t know that after the first, painful week, most of the agonizing grief over Cenred had subsided, and that the rest of Merlin’s grieving and misery had been for Edwin. Was it really so horrible that he missed Edwin? Merlin wiped his eyes, promising himself he wouldn’t cry, and got to his feet, wobbling out of the tent. He ate breakfast in silence while Arthur ignored him, chatting amiably with his knights as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Merlin was tempted to turn himself into a flea just to escape the humiliation and guilt. He rode with Lancelot, who could obviously tell something was wrong, but he didn’t push the subject. He had no memory of the previous night after Arthur started stroking his nape. All he could remember was a haze of mindless pleasure. It was a little scary, knowing that Arthur could do that to him, could render him helpless and unable to resist. But Merlin was more worried about Arthur staying angry at him for dreaming about Edwin. They made good time that day, but Arthur didn’t speak to him at all. Merlin slept in Lancelot’s tent, with him, that night. He pressed his face into Lancelot’s shoulder and cried himself to sleep. ===============================================================================   “Do you see now?” Edwin asked Merlin, sitting across from him in his workshop. Merlin scowled at the floor, tears dripping from his eyes, “Just the idea that someone with magic could hold any of your affection is abhorrent to him. He would never accept you.” “I don’t want him to be angry with me. I’ll just go and apologize and grovel. Alphas like being groveled to.” Merlin whispered. “Apologize for what? Loving me?” Edwin’s voice was acidic, “Are you ashamed of loving me?” Merlin winced. “No,” his lips wobbled, “I’m not ashamed. I love you.” Edwin was sitting so that the scarred half of his face was the only one visible to Merlin. “He and Uther must both die.” he said. Merlin nodded miserably. “He’s so sweet sometimes.” he whispered. “It is a false affection. You know that.” Edwin said scornfully. “I know. I know.” Merlin buried his face in his hands. “You must not forget that the prince is a monster, just like his father. He is no better than Cenred, only more clever and cunning.” Merlin wept quietly, “He is incapable of love, incapable of redemption. He is a monster, and he must die.”   ***** Chapter 9 ***** Chapter Notes I drop the 'C' word in this one. Merlin does actually get hit this time, but it's mostly by accident. Warning for brief, vague discussion of past torture. “Hæsere,” Merlin stepped into Arthur’s large tent. After an entire day of being given the cold shoulder, Merlin had had enough. He found the Alpha looking at a map on a hastily set up table. “Yes, lýtling?” Arthur said without looking up, and Merlin recoiled, shocked into silence. Merlin opened his mouth, then closed it, and his lips wobbled. “Nevermind,” he whispered, turning around and walking out dejectedly. About ten seconds later, he re-entered the tent, cheeks flaming, expression furious, “Don’t try to push me away.” he said. Arthur continued looking at the map. “I’m busy, lýtling.” he said dispassionately. Merlin bristled. “You’re being an ass.” he snapped. The Alpha finally looked at him, eyes shuttered, expression unreadable, “Are you going to keep ignoring me until I go into Heat? Or are you just too busy being petty and jealous to think about anyone but yourself?” “Watch your tongue,” Arthur said, a hint of anger in his voice, “I put up with your antics back in the castle, but things are different now. You need to start showing me the proper amount of respect, because your lip will not be tolerated by the king.” Merlin gritted his teeth. “Doesn’t change the fact that you’re a royal ass, and I’ll say it as loudly as I want to. I’ve had enough of petty, tyrant kings telling me what to do.” Merlin’s voice wavered. “You will speak to me with respect, Omega.” Arthur said harshly, “And you will greatly regret it if you speak out of turn to the king.” Merlin laughed loudly and bitterly. “What will he do? Brand me? Have me beaten? I’ve endured those things and I can endure them again!” Merlin raised his voice. “Be quiet, Merlin.” Arthur said through his teeth. “Why?!? You don’t want me to make a scene?!? Cenred hated when I made a scene!! He always beat me black and blue!! IS THAT WHAT YOU’LL DO?!? BEAT ME?!?” Merlin yelled. Arthur’s eyes were wide and he made alarmed gestures for Merlin to stop, “I THOUGHT YOU WERE DIFFERENT FROM CENRED, BUT YOU’RE NOT!! YOU’RE JUST AS- DON’T SHUSH ME!! STOP!!” Merlin struggled as Arthur grabbed him, putting a hand over his mouth. “Be. Quiet.” he growled. He yelled, jerking his hand away when Merlin bit him, and he reflexively backhanded the Omega hard enough to knock him to the ground. Merlin curled in on himself, hand covering his cheek. He started to cry quietly. Arthur ran his fingers through his hair, looking at the softly weeping Omega on the ground at the mouth of his tent, “Shit.” he said, kneeling in front of the boy, who cowered, shielding his face with his arms, “Shit,” he said again, “Did I hurt you?” he asked. Merlin didn’t respond, still crying. He flinched when Arthur touched his hair, “I’m sorry, Merlin.” “Don’t hurt me.” all the fight was gone from the Omega, “Don’t hurt me.” Arthur sighed deeply, pulling the resistant Omega into his arms. “Shhh, shhh,” he held Merlin tightly to his chest, hand resting on the back of his head, careful not to touch the nape and overwhelm him, “I’m sorry, healsgebedda.” he kissed Merlin’s temple, and Merlin cried loudly into his neck. Arthur closed his eyes, rocking the Omega, “I won’t hurt you, Merlin.” Merlin cried even louder. “I don’t want to meet the king. I don’t want to live in Camelot. I want Edwin back.” he sobbed, and Arthur held him tightly, shushing him gently, “I just want to wake up and find out it was all a bad dream and that Edwin is still with me.” his sob turned into a gasp when Arthur’s hand brushed over the back of his neck, and his body relaxed. He moaned quietly when the hand returned to stroking his hair, leaving him dazed. “I’m sorry, Merlin. I know you loved him.” it sounded like the words were painful for Arthur to say, “I can’t bring him back...but I’m going to take care of you now. I’m doing my very best, Merlin.” he pressed his lips to the side of Merlin’s head, “I want to take care of you, but you have to let me do it.” Merlin sniffled. “I don’t want to meet King Uther,” he whimpered, “I don’t care what you say. I hate him.” Merlin started crying quietly again, and Arthur sighed. “Just don’t let anyone else hear you say that.” he said, letting his fingers brush over Merlin’s nape again. The Omega moaned. It was tempting to touch the Omega and make him go stupid with pleasure, forgetting all his cares and troubles. But Arthur wouldn’t do that. It would cheapen the comfort he gave Merlin, become a fix-all to every problem. “I’m so scared.” Merlin whispered, and Arthur kissed his forehead, hand moving to cup his face. “Don’t be afraid. I’ll protect you.” he promised. “From Uther?” Merlin asked, and Arthur hesitated. “...yes.” he finally said, “I’ll do everything in my power to protect you from him or anyone else. I swear it.” he kissed Merlin’s forehead again, “Please don’t yell like that anymore. The whole camp heard you.” Merlin giggled wetly, and there was a little bit of vindictive pleasure in the sound, but he cuddled to Arthur’s chest. “Okay,” he whispered, “As long as you’re nice.” Arthur growled in his ear, and he giggled again. “Come lay,” Arthur urged him to his feet, then laid him down on the bedroll, covering him up. Merlin pressed his face into the pillow. “Smells like you.” he said, and Arthur smiled, wiping tears away with his thumb. “Rest now. I know you’ve worn yourself out.” Arthur told him, “I’ll join you later. You’re safe here in my tent.” Merlin nodded, face still pressed into the pillow. Arthur left the tent to make sure the entire camp didn’t think he was beating his Omega. =============================================================================== “Did Cenred really beat you?” Arthur murmured. They were cuddled together on his bedroll, foreheads touching. Merlin was playing with the blond hair peeking above Arthur’s shirt. Merlin smiled humorlessly. “Yes,” he whispered, touching a small scar on Arthur’s sternum. Arthur hoped Merlin wouldn’t ask about that one, because he’d gotten it falling off a horse when he was seven because he’d been laughing too hard at the sight of Morgana’s fancy new skirts that a visiting noblewoman had gifted her ripping on some briars and had run into a tree branch. Despite the concussion, it was one of the most vivid memories of Arthur’s childhood. “You said...you said you’d been branded.” Arthur touched Merlin’s face. The Omega nodded, “But...I’ve seen your body. I mean, those gowns you wore didn’t cover anything, and I didn’t see any brands...and Lancelot would have told me if he saw any.” the mirthless smile on Merlin’s face grew. “You’ll see it when we Mate,” he responded, and Arthur felt a little ill. He pecked Merlin on the lips. “I’m sorry I hit you.” he said for the dozenth time. Merlin didn’t respond, palming Arthur’s firm chest through his shirt. Merlin smiled a real smile when Arthur flexed for him, “And I’m sorry for overreacting. It won’t happen again.” Arthur promised, stroking the boy’s dark hair, “I promise.” “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Merlin told him, smile fading. Arthur frowned. “Merlin...” he said, then sighed. He tipped Merlin’s head to the side so he could kiss Merlin’s neck. The Omega moaned, going lax, hands on Arthur’s shoulders. Arthur kissed and bit the sensitive skin until Merlin was squirming and whining, “When you go into Broken Heat I’m going to pleasure you until there’s nothing left of you but a sweet, docile Omega who knows nothing other than love and joy.” he promised against Merlin’s skin, and Merlin’s body did this strange clenching thing like it was trying to make slick, but couldn’t, and his eyes flew open and his heart started hammering in his throat, chest tightening with panic, and he started wheezing, “Merlin?” “Nnn, nnn, nnn,” Merlin’s eyes were wide with fear as his body continued to clench painfully in an attempt to prepare itself for the Alpha. He felt his magic humming under his skin. “Merlin?” Arthur said again, pulling away and cupping Merlin’s face, looking at him, “Did I say something wrong? Merlin?” Merlin whined loudly, magic buzzing in his ears, “Shhh, shhh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it,” he said earnestly but exasperatedly, and Merlin wanted to scream because he had no idea what was wrong, but he was apologizing anyway, and why was he so sweet sometimes? “Nnn, nnn, neck,” Merlin whined, taking Arthur’s hand and clumsily putting it on the back of his head, “Neck, please,” Arthur understood, touching the back of the Omega’s neck. Merlin went limp, breathing evening out, heartbeat slowing. He relaxed against Arthur, who held him, confused, “Thank you,” Merlin whispered, “Hæsere...” he drifted off to sleep. ===============================================================================   “He’s so clever, isn’t he?” Edwin mused, “He works so hard to gain your trust.” “I don’t want to kill him.” Merlin whispered. “You must.” Edwin said sharply. Merlin hugged himself, “For me, Merlin. You must kill him and Uther for my sake. You must avenge me and all our fallen brothers and sisters...and mothers and fathers...and sons and daughters...” his voice grew quiet. “Couldn’t I just kill Uther and enchant Arthur or something?” Merlin asked hopefully. “No,” Edwin said with finality, “You willkill him to avenge me, Merlin. This is not open for discussion.” “I think I love him.” it was a terrifying thing to admit. “If you could do somethingbesides thinking with your cunt for even five minutes, you might actually be useful.” Edwin snapped. Merlin’s head jerked up, eyes wide, and the Beta grimaced, “I’m sorry, Merlin. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m just upset that the Pendragon boy is having such a strong influence on you.” Merlin looked back down, “I’m sorry, darling.” “It’s okay.” ***** Chapter 10 ***** Chapter Notes ᵃᶫᶫ ᵒᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃʳᵉ ᶠᵃᶫᶫᶦᶰᵍ ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᶦᶰᵗᵒ ᵐʸ ᵗʳᵃᵖ See the end of the chapter for more notes “What are you doing?” Lancelot asked. Merlin was by the creek the next morning, stripping his clothes off and shaking them. He didn’t answer immediately, carefully searching the fabric, “Merlin?” “He wouldn’t use that word,” Merlin mumbled, “He’d never use that word.” he checked the seams off all his clothes. “Merlin, what are you talking about?” Lancelot watched him, “Do you need help?” Merlin shook his head, giving up on the shirt and looking at the breeches. “He hated that word. He never used it. He hated when I used it.” he said, “He had this pinched look he’d get whenever I said it, and he’d just look at me. He always, always, said the same thing,” Merlin tossed the breeches aside, looking in his boots, “He said ‘Your body is a miracle, Merlin. You shouldn’t refer to it that way. You have a cloaca, like a bird. I don’t care if every other person in the Five Kingdoms uses that ugly word, I don’t want it to come out of your mouth.’” Merlin frowned, looking around at the crumpled clothes laying around him. “Merlin, what on earth are you talking about?” Lancelot said. “Cunt!” Merlin said, a bit too loudly, then winced, “Edwin hated that word. He would have never used it, especially not in front of me.” he ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated. “Merlin, what is all of this about?” Lancelot was bewildered. “It just doesn’t make sense.” Merlin stamped his foot, crossing his arms childishly, “He wouldn’t say that to me, no matter how angry he was.” he bit his lip, staring at his clothes. “Merlin,” the other, non-magical Beta repeated. “There has to be something,” he picked the shirt back up, checking the seams again, “There has to be a reason.” “Merlin, put your clothes back on. We need to leave soon.” Lancelot told him, crossing his arms, a worried expression on his face. Merlin’s expression dropped, and he looked miserable. “Alright,” he said, redressing slowly, “There has to be something.” he whispered, returning with Lancelot to rejoin the party. The Beta watched him with puzzled, concerned eyes. =============================================================================== “Tell me about Muirden,” Arthur gave every indication of being in physical pain while saying the words. Merlin’s head jerked up from where he was watching the road as they rode together, a little apart from everyone else. “What?” he couldn’t believe his ears. Arthur looked like he’d tasted something sour. “The two of you were obviously close...so tell me about him. What made him so wonderful?” he asked. Merlin cut his eyes at the Alpha. “Well, he...” Merlin couldn’t tell Arthur that Edwin had taught him an extraordinary amount on animation magic and had sat and practiced with Merlin for hours, “He taught me a lot...about herbs and things...and about Greek philosophers,” and about perfecting his pronunciation of incantations, “He was just...” Merlin shrugged. It hurt to think about Edwin now, with his memory tarnished by Merlin’s dreams. “Did you ever see him practice magic?” there was something like morbid fascination in Arthur’s voice. “Of course. Loads.” Merlin said without thinking, and revulsion flickered over Arthur’s face. “Was this a daily occurrence?” he asked. “...yeah.” Merlin said uncomfortably, “He was always making potions and making those stupid beetles do things.” Merlin had always hated those God-awful things. “Beetles?” Arthur asked, like he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. “Edwin had these beetles that he could make go into people’s ear and burrow into their brain and kill them.” Merlin explained, and Arthur looked queasy, “He was eventually going to...” Merlin fell silent as he remembered exactly what Edwin had wanted to do with them. “Going to what? Use them to kill my father?” Arthur asked, and the look the Omega gave him was answer enough, “He doesn’t sound so kind and wonderful.” “Edwin was...sad,” Merlin said softly, eyes misting over, “Sad and bitter,” he could see Edwin’s tired smile behind his eyelids, “He lost his parents in the Purge. They were both burned at the same time. He...he loved them so much...he tried to save them,” he could feel Arthur’s eyes on him, “That’s how he got his scars; he jumped into the fire to save his parents...but he couldn’t save them...and the rest of his life he’s been so angry at Uther.” “I...didn’t know,” Arthur said gruffly, and Merlin gave a sad smile. “Edwin thought he was hideous. He wouldn’t believe me that he wasn’t. He would always take my hand and use it to cover the scarred half of his face so that when I looked at him, he looked normal. Then he’d smile and ask me if he was handsome...” Merlin looked across the rolling green hills around them.   “How do I look? Am I handsome?” Edwin smiled, trying to sound light- hearted and failing. Merlin looked at him, expression serious. He took his hand away, using the other one to cover the unmarked side of the Beta’s face. “Yes,” Merlin said intently, looking at the thick layer of deformity, “You’re very handsome.” Edwin’s pathetic attempt at hiding his own self-loathing and insecurity crumbled, and he looked at Merlin with a pained expression. “You’re the best of us all, Merlin.” he whispered, touching Merlin’s soft face, “You deserve a better world to live in. I’m sorry I can’t give it to you...”   “...I miss him so much,” Merlin’s voice cracked, and he squeezed his eyes shut, tears leaking from the corners. This was the Edwin he wanted to remember, the one that came to him in the middle of the night and tried to secret him out of the castle, the one who put salve on the bruises Cenred left on his pale skin, the one who tickled Merlin and laughed when he squealed. He didn’t want to remember the man who laughed hatefully at the idea of watching Uther Pendragon’s silent agony as a beetle ate its way through his brain, the one who spent long hours obsessing over how they were going to destroy Camelot, the one who had nearly salivated when they talked of making Uther watch his own son burn at the stake before they killed him. “I’m sorry,” Merlin startled when he realized that Arthur had brought his horse closer, and had reached out to grab one of Merlin’s hands, “It sounds like you really loved him,” Arthur hesitated, “...if he hadn’t been a sorcerer, I might have liked him.” it sounded like the closest thing to a compliment that Arthur could give Edwin. Merlin chuckled wetly, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. “I know...I know he wasn’t a good person...but...he was never unkind to me...” it was a painful thing to admit aloud. He’d never let himself think about it before, although he had known of Edwin’s darker nature. Arthur squeezed his hand as their horses walked along, side by side. They rode in silence for a long time. ===============================================================================   “Edwin?” Merlin asked. He lay cuddled to the Beta’s chest. “Yes, darling?” Edwin played with Merlin’s hair. “Do you remember, before, when you were telling me about how horrible Arthur was, and you said you were afraid of what would happen to me if Camelot defeated Cenred?” Merlin whispered. “Yes, I do.” the Beta caressed him gently. “And then I begged you to protect me, and you promised you would?” Merlin asked in a tiny voice. Edwin sighed. “Yes, Merlin, I do. And that’s what I’m trying to do now: protect you,” he said, and Merlin felt numb. “Do you really think I should kill him?” he whispered. “Yes, Merlin. You must kill him, and Uther, when the time comes.” “...okay...” Merlin agreed, starting to cry softly, “Just hold me, Edwin.” “Of course, darling.” =============================================================================== “It has to be here somewhere.” Merlin insisted, checking his small pants. Lancelot was just watching him, twice as confused as before, “There’s no way someone could do this without some sort of focus.” “Merlin, you’re honestly frightening me.” the Beta told the completely naked Omega. Merlin huffed, putting his pants back on. “There has to be one somewhere.” he said, redressing in the clothes he’d checked a dozen times over. He’d managed to convince Arthur to bring him breakfast back into the tent, and had spent the time he was gone frantically searching the bedroll and everything else in the tent. He still had to check his horse’s gear, but he was fairly sure it was something he had with him, even in sleep, which was his clothes. “If you don’t tell me what you’re doing, I’m going to tell Arthur and you’ll have to answer to him.” Lancelot said, and Merlin froze, turning a nervous, guilty gaze on him, “What is all of this?” Merlin gnawed his lip. “If I tell you, do you promise not to tell Arthur?” he asked. Lancelot crossed his arms, “I can’t tell you if you don’t promise.” “I won’t tell him unless he asks. How’s that?” he said, and Merlin scratched the back of his head. “Erm, alright, so, erm, I’m fairly certain that, erm, I’m...being enchanted.” he said. Lancelot blinked at him, “And I have to find the magical focus that the caster is using in order to break the connection.” “I understood the first part.” Lancelot told him. Merlin rolled his eyes. “In order to maintain the level of enchantment that I’m dealing with, a magic user needs to have a magical focus, like a poultice or a crystal...or a poppet, but that would be too obvious. And it would need to be near me a lot, especially while I sleep, because I’m more vulnerable when I sleep. The only thing I can think of is that there’s a crystal sewn into my clothes.” Merlin ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “How...how do you know all of this?” the Beta was taken aback. Merlin glanced at him, nonplussed. “I lived in a castle with an Alpha who ignored me and four sorcerers as teachers. I know how magic works.” Merlin had started pacing, “There’s a focus somewhere. I just have to find it. I mean, unless I’m being enchanted by Sidhe, but that’s pretty unlikely at this point.” “I didn’t realize you were so...knowledgeable.” Lancelot watched him pace. “Yeah, most people don’t,” Merlin said acerbically, “I’m a dimwitted little Omega, remember?” he was getting more agitated. “Shouldn’t you tell Arthur that you think someone’s enchanting you?” Lancelot, bless him, had the best of intentions, that much was obvious. “Are you kidding? He’d freak out. Besides, what’s he going to do?” Merlin’s mouth was pinched, “I have to figure this out by myself. Now that I know there’s an enchantment, it will be more difficult to maintain, but the caster has already proven themselves to be very powerful.” Merlin ran his fingers through his hair, “And I have to figure it out before I see Mum, because I don’t want her to have any part in this.” he started making quiet, distressed, Omegan noises unconsciously. “I think you should tell Arthur. He’ll offer you support, at least.” Lancelot insisted. “Alpha will be angry,” Merlin mumbled, “I have to keep Alpha happy.” he was lost in thought, not entirely aware of what he was saying, fingers tangled in his hair, “He’s going to want more soon, and I can’t give him more.” Merlin was thinking hard, racking his brain for ideas. “Lancelot!! We’re packing up!!” someone yelled through the trees, “Bring the Omega!!” Lancelot sighed, snagging Merlin by his waist and leading him back towards the camp, rubbing soothing circles on his lower back. “I still think you should tell Arthur.” the Beta murmured. Merlin was thoughtful and silent after that, finding Edwin’s cloak and wrapping himself in it. Where could that focus be hidden?   Chapter End Notes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Edit: I was freaking out right after I updated this because it wasn't showing up when I refreshed the Merlin (TV) feed, and I thought that maybe it was because I had it saved as a draft chapter for a few days, but then it showed up and I was so relieved because I was scared that no one would be able to find my fic and read it I was about to panic lmao End Notes Hope you enjoyed! Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!