Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/579329.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Glee
  Relationship:
      Blaine_Anderson/Original_Male_Character, Kurt_Hummel/David_Karofsky
  Character:
      Blaine_Anderson, Kurt_Hummel, David_Karofsky, Original_Characters
  Additional Tags:
      Lemon, What_if?, Age_Difference, Underage_Relationship(s), Older_Man/
      Younger_Man
  Series:
      Part 5 of Leoverse
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-12-01 Updated: 2013-05-10 Chapters: 3/? Words: 43997
****** Broken Heart Syndrome ******
by lisachan, Tabata
Summary
     Leo is fifteen and he has been hating Blaine for all his life, since
     the moment the man tried to ruin his fathers wedding. So when the man
     ends up spending the night at their house, last thing Leo wants is to
     stay under the same roof. Little he knows that during that night,
     things will change forever for both of them. The couch where Blaine
     is sleeping on will be the beginning of a relationship that will
     cause more than a few problems.
Notes
     Hello, y’all! Here’s us trying to explain what this story is and
     miserably failing at it. But watch us try, if you will.
     Broken Heart Syndrome is a sequel, based on Leonard_Karofsky-Hummel
     VS_The_World, a story we wrote last year, in which we had an original
     character, Leo (Dave and Kurt’s son), interact with all the other
     characters from the Gleeverse.
     We basically fell in love with him so hard we couldn’t let him go,
     even when the story was over. And so we started wondering about what
     could happen to him in the future, and that’s where this new story’s
     coming from. We’ve planned quite a lot of it, even though this first
     chapter is the only one we’ve written by far. We already started
     working on chapter two, but we decided not to wait until the story
     was over (mainly because we reasonably think it’s not going to be
     over before years after today), also because we imagine there won’t
     be a crowd of people banging to our door for new chapters to come
     out, given the fact that this is a story we basically write for our
     own entertainment and for the incredible love we feel for all the new
     characters we invented to play big roles in Leo’s world and life.
     That said, of course, we’d be delighted if you wanted to read this
     story, and we promise we’ll put our best efforts in it. Also, this
     new universe we created revolving around Leo and his relationship
     with Blaine is now so different and independent from the original
     Gleeverse that the story could easily be read as an original, which
     is what we hope you all will want to do.
     Thank you very much, if you’ll decide you want to give us and our
     story a try. Comments will be cherished and appreciated greatly.
See the end of the work for more notes
***** Report One: Ambivalence *****
“So,” Adam says, walking inside the room with a couple of Coke cans in his
hands and countless different types of junk food between his arms, “Mom said
you can stay as long as you want, maybe even stay the night if it pleases you,
but I’m telling you, if you’re really planning on planting roots in here, you
better start paying your own share of bills, you hear me?”
“Fuck you,” Leo answers, trying to kick him in his knees when he walks past him
and the chair he’s sitting on, but clumsily missing the target, “Gimme one of
those,” he whines, pointing at a chocolate bar.
“I should have you pay for this too,” Adam chuckles, throwing the snack at him
and then opening one of the cans to sip at it, “You know, not everybody here is
the son of the most important Broadway actor of the last ten years, with a
hundred dollars per week allowance. Some of us are poor. I hate to break it
down for you.”
“I said fuck you,” Leo snorts, unpacking the snack and taking an angry bite of
it, gnawing violently, as if he’s trying to take his anger out on the innocent
chocolate bar, “They used to give me more before Tana was born.”
“Yeah, let’s complain about that, Leo, that’s exactly what I’m in the mood to
hear about when my mom’s doing double shifts to pay the rent,” Adam shakes his
head, rolling his eyes and casting a resigned glance to the ceiling. He’s not
really angry at Leonard, he knows him too well, and has been knowing him for
much too long, not to know he doesn’t see anything else in the world that
doesn’t concern himself. He doesn’t do it on purpose, he’s not even mean. He’s
just self-centered. And kind of dumb, actually.
“I’m sorry…” Leo sighs, finishing his snack in a couple of bites and then
asking for some coke. Adam gives him his can, and opens the other one, “It’s
just that… that man’s home now. It’s making me even angrier than usual.”
“And, considering you live your life in a constant state of deep, wild and
unreasonable anger even when he’s not around, that’s saying something,” Adam
chuckles, mocking him.
Leo turns to glare at him, but he ends up losing all his drive halfway through,
so when he’s actually looking at Adam he’s doing it with an annoyed but too-
tired-to-be-really-threatening look, which is fine. Adam knows him enough to
know he’s about to surrender. “You don’t need to make me feel stupid about it,
y’know?” he says.
Adam nods. “I know, but it’s funnier that way,” he answers, and when Leo starts
whining, he chuckles. “Come on,” he says, “You can’t expect me to take it
seriously, I mean, you never talk about him, I don’t know what he did to make
you hate him like that, how can you expect me to sympathize?”
“Maybe ‘cause you’re my best friend?” Leo asks back, arching an eyebrow.
“I am,” Adam nods, “But that doesn’t mean I can hate a man just because he
exists or something. Come on, all I know is that he was your father’s boyfriend
when they were in high school, and that coach Karofsky has always been jealous
of him.”
“And that he almost ruined my parents’ wedding, a wedding I had worked my ass
off to make possible!, nine years ago!”
“That’s not exactly accurate,” Adam laughs, opening a pack of onion-flavored
chips to start eating them, “What really happened is that he was a guest at
your parents’ wedding and that you misunderstood what was the purpose of him
being there for your father, and you ran away in tears, making the hugest drama
queen scene you’ve ever done, getting yourself lost in the woods and putting
yourself and the wedding in danger, until your fathers just sat down and
figured everything out, making it alright again.”
Leo swallows down all his coke and then throws the empty can at Adam, missing
him spectacularly. “Fuck it,” he whines.
“You really are hopeless, aren’t you?” Adam chuckles, standing up to retrieve
the empty can from the floor before the couple of drops of coke still left
inside it could stain the carpet. “I don’t know what this Blaine guy did to
you, beside looking like you in quite a disturbing way—”
“He doesn’t look like me!”
“—but you really should let it go, Leo,” Adam sighs, throwing the can in the
trash.
“Listen, I’m not making this up or anything,” Leo snorts, sitting better on the
chair so he can look at Adam straight in his eyes, “I’m not exaggerating! He’s,
like, the worse human being ever conceived, I refuse to acknowledge he has a
mother because nothing that evil could ever come out of a living woman, it
would kill her. Maybe that’s why his is dead, after all.”
“Now you’re being mean.”
“No, now I’m being the one who doesn’t give a fuck about Blaine Anderson,
okay?” he insists, getting all fired up, “I hate him. Now, you’re free to
believe that I do it for stupid, trivial reasons, or whatever, but I know him
better than you, I’ve been knowing him my whole life, and that man is scum.
He’s inconsistent, always showing himself off inappropriately, he doesn’t know
what the word respect means, he’s a whore and he’s not even ashamed of that,
and yet everybody looks at him like he was some sort of Greek God, just because
he’s good-looking and has abs. I can’t stand him, he’s exactly the kind of
person I don’t want around, and yet I’m forced to have him around because my
father, just like everybody else, falls for his Prince Charming shit every
single time. So, is this enough, Adam? Is this enough for you to understand why
I’m so fucking angry whenever he’s around?”
Adam blinks a couple of times, looking at him like he’s never seen him before.
“Leo?” he calls out, standing up from the edge of his bed and walking towards
him to put a hand on his shoulder, “I think you should talk about this with
somebody.”
“I just talked about this with you,” Leo answers, frowning.
“No, I mean somebody who can understand what’s going on in your head, because
dude, what you just said sounds so totally unhealthy and kind of messed up, if
you want my opinion.”
“Oh, please…” Leo says, letting out a frustrated moan and standing up too,
walking away from Adam, “I don’t need a shrink because I fucking hate Blaine
Anderson.”
“You sure?” Adam insists, tilting his head a bit as he keeps following him
around, “’Cause, dude, everything you said… I mean, what do you even care about
it? So he fucks around, alright. What do you care?”
“It’s not just that! It’s everything else too! Did you even listen?”
“Yeah, man, I did! I heard you fine and clear, it just seems to me that you’re,
like, you know…” he tries to find the right words to say, because he knows
Leo’s in a very bad place now, he feels like he’s been cornered and Adam’s
almost sure that if he tried to reach out for him carelessly, Leo would bite
his hand off. “…a little overinvested, maybe?” he tries, looking cautiously at
Leo.
Who drops his arms down his sides and parts his lips in shock. His eyes scream
“betrayal!”, and Adam instantly knows maybe he didn’t choose the words
correctly enough.
“Yeah, sure. It’s me. I’m the problem,” Leo mutters, walking past Adam as if he
didn’t even see him, to retrieve the jacket he abandoned on the back of the
chair when he walked in, three hours ago, when he took it off. “Doesn’t matter
anyway, he’s still going to be there. Dad wouldn’t throw him out even if I ran
away from home.”
“Leo… come on,” Adam sighs, following him as he tries to stop him, “Aren’t you
taking it a little too bad? And don’t get mad at me!”
“I’m not mad at you, okay?” Leo turns around to look at Adam, as if he could
trick him into believe that if he’s able to look at him straight in his eyes,
he’s telling the truth. Adam, however, knows it’s not that simple. “I just need
to go. If I move now, I’m gonna be home before midnight.”
“Wait— what?” Adam opens his eyes wide, almost throwing himself between Leo and
the door, “Leo, you live in the other side of the city! Come on, at least wait
for my mom to be back, she’ll drive you home!”
“No, I’m fine,” Leo shakes his head, forcing a smile that doesn’t look even
half as sincere as he wanted it to, “I need to walk. It’ll help me cool down. I
need it, if I don’t wanna punch him in the face the very moment I see him.”
Adam sighs, moving away from the door and opening it. Leo smiles at him and
walks to the front door, whispering a “thank you”.
“You sure you don’t wanna stay for the night?” Adam asks, “I was joking, you
know, about making you pay for it.”
Leo lets out an amused half-chuckle that actually sounds half-honest too. “I
know, Adam, I know,” he says, “I’m fine, don’t worry. Besides, even if I slept
here, he would still be there in the morning. And I can’t let that man kick me
out of my own house. Don’t worry, I’m gonna be okay.”
“Sure you are,” Adam sighs once more, lifting a hand to ruffle Leo’s already
wild enough curls, “Some day, my hand’s gonna get stuck in it,” he says with a
light chuckle.
Leo echoes it with a chuckle of his own, looking at him with a flash of
gratitude in his eyes. “Then you should stop doing it, already,” he says,
punching him lightly on his chest, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“No, you’ll call me tonight, so I know you’re alive,” Adam says, with one last
sigh.
Leo’s not going to call him tonight, but this he still doesn’t know.
                                       *
When Leo has said he was fine going back home alone, he hasn't realized how
really far his home is from Adam's. While he walks down the road with his
cellphone on so to make some kind of light the seldom drivers can see and not
run him over, he understands thoroughly the difference in condition between
their family. Never, in all his life, he has wished more not to live in the
suburbs.
Apparently, they are a longer way away if you don't drive a car or take a bus.
He has just passed the cafeteria downtown where they always go when they should
be studying at the library and for some reason or another they don't want to –
that's the furthest he and Annie can convince Adam to go before his ever
present sense of duty kicks in – when a text message arrives. It's Adam of
course, asking if he has made it home yet.
“No, I didn't made it home yet, Adam,” Leo snaps and writes him an answer.
Geez, can the guy stop worrying for a couple of hours? He has all it takes to
be the so called leader of their trio: he is the strongest, the most popular,
he is the tall, handsome blonde and he is not even dumb. He could be the hero.
Instead, he goes on and plays the mother-hen for him and Annie.
When he gets home, another hour has passed and Adam has written ten other
messages, one more anxious than the previous one. Leo has answered the first
four, then stopped all together because he may receive more money than Adam
from his parents, but his allowance is not endless, and he doesn't want to
spend it all in one night to make sure his overprotective best friend knows
he's still alive.
The house is dark, of course.
Since Santana is born, his parents go to bed early, hoping she will follow
their example and fall asleep sooner, but she never does. She always keeps them
awake for the most part of the night. Luckily, Leo is an heavy sleeper, so she
can cry all she wants, he never notices. Only the morning after he knows that
she has been generally unbearable because Kurt is so tired that he doesn't even
bother covering the shadows under his eyes before showing up for breakfast.
But they have a guest in the house tonight. The thought of Blaine being unable
to sleep because of his annoying little sister's crying makes him happy. “I
hope you wanted to sleep, Anderson, and that she kept screaming and screaming
and screaming until your head felt like exploding and you ran away,” he says
aloud, as he looks right and left approaching his home.
Santana did cry.
She cried a lot. She cried so much Blaine actually thought she was going to
scream her head off or something. He usually loves kids. He's not the kind of
man who goes head over heels just to hold them or makes those stupid little
noises every time a toddler under six months is anywhere near, but he finds
them cute. He was sure that someday he would stop fucking around and even have
a kid; possibly with the gorgeous guy who tends to all his needs in his dreams
every time he is in bed alone. But Santana did whatever she could do to make
him reconsider. The little girl – no more than five months old if he understood
correctly – was the cutest thing ever while she was with them at dinner and
right after that, while they were talking in the sitting room. But as soon as
her fathers said goodbye and brought her to bed, she started howling and she
wouldn't stop.
Blaine tried to ignore her for a while, burying his head under his pillow on
the couch, but to no use. Even behind a closed door the kid's high pitched
wailing was clearly audible. He even wondered how Kurt and Dave could stand
that torture every night without swinging her out of the window. After hearing
Kurt singing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” Barbra Streisand style for the third
time in a row, he decided it was time for him to do something different instead
of tossing and turning on a couch and went to have a shower.
Spending the night at Kurt's house after their lovely's monthly homecoming
dinner wasn't a great idea. He likes Kurt and he sort of likes his family –
even though part of it hates him – but he likes sleeping as well, and
apparently he can't do that in Kurt's house. Luckily, the shower gave the
little princess enough time to collapse and when he gets out of the bathroom, a
white towel perfectly wrapped around his equally perfect hips, the house is
finally silent.
Blaine combs with his fingers his long and curly hair that is still ruffled and
dump. It's in moment like these that he regrets not sticking with the tidy look
he had in high school. Wild curls look wonderful at any given moment, except
when he actually has to comb them. As he tries to make sense of his hair again,
he goes back in the sitting room, which is comfortably dark and quiet now, and
just watches the moon that he can see through the window.
He is toying with the idea of drying his hair as quickly as possible and enjoy
what little is left of the night before Santana wants to eat or something, when
the front door opens, however silently, and he suddenly remembers that not all
the members of this family were already back home. He thanks his legendary
shamelessness for being able to turn around and facing with a smile who's
entering, wearing only a towel.
Leo tiptoes into the house and tries to close the door as silently as he can.
God forbid that the click of the lock wakes up the demon upstairs. A few days
ago he dropped the keys in the hallway, Santana started crying and his father
appeared on top of the stairs, looking ready to claw his eyes off. He doesn't
want to repeat the experience, so it takes him a little time to realize someone
is watching him doing his best not to be noticed.
“Oh, great,” he snorts, as he tries not to show Blaine has startled him. Last
thing he needs right now, having to deal with this man he hates so much. “I was
hoping you would be gone already. Or dead.”
Blaine doesn't lose his smile. He knows Leonard since he was six years old.
Yes, he almost ruined his fathers' wedding, but in the course of his life he
had also the privilege – and the mildly devastating rotten luck – of
babysitting him multiple times at different ages, much to Leonard's annoyance,
and if he doesn't know him pretty well, he at least learned how to bear with
him. “Oh, hey,” he says, waving nonchalantly. “I'm sorry I have to invade your
privacy like this. It's only for tonight, anyway. Your fathers and me had a
late night and Kurt invited me to stay. I hope you're not mad at me.”
“You can bet your ass I am,” Leo replies, being excessively rude just to show
he's tough. He usually doesn't speak like this to adults, but he feels the need
to when Blaine's around. He leaves the keys at the entrance and takes off his
coat that bears every sign of Kurt's sense of fashion, being a three quarters
coat that has nothing to do with the jeans and shirt the kid wears underneath.
Blaine looks genuinely surprised. “And why's that so?”
“You ask me why?” Leo says, unbelieving. This man is here, exceeding his dad's
hospitality by being naked around the house and he asks why Leo is mad at him.
How shameless can he be? “'Cause it's not cool, dude. That's why. And it's
inappropriate. My dads are a married couple and they almost broke up because of
you once. I'm not eager to go through that experience again, thank you very
much.”
Blaine understands teen's anger. Or at least, he acknowledge its existence,
even if he finds it stupid to be angry at everything and everyone as teens
usually are. So, he is not surprised that Leo is angry, but he honestly thinks
that he should be so over the wedding issue already. “I honestly can't
understand why you're so stubborn about it,” he says matter-of-factly. “I
couldn't get it back then and most of all i can't”
Leo raises an eyebrow. “'Cause I love them and I don't like you? And Geez,
dude, put some pants on if you wanna keep talking to me. You're distracting.”
Leo looks away, making himself busy with whatever he keeps in that ragged
looking backpack of his. Blaine can swear he has just seen him blush, and
that's something that can keep him entertained for hours: embarrassing Leo.
He's been doing that for years now.
“Am I?” He says, looking at himself with a raised eyebrow. “All my intimate
parts are perfectly covered, kid. I'm not showing off for you in any manner,
and if you think I'm doing that, please, remove this thought from your head,
because I'm not.”
Leonard blushes even more, and whatever he is looking for in his bag seems
suddenly nowhere to be found because he keeps rummaging and rummaging. “You're
half naked, you're wet and that towel won't cover you for very much longer,” he
declares, confusedly, giving proof of having spent the last few minutes
watching him very closely. “In this house, that's for me the signal to go and
sleep at one of my friends house 'cause my parents want to get some. Now, maybe
you're not showing off, but I don't know if I'm talking to you or your six
pack, so please, dress. Or leave, better.”
Blaine is incredibly amused, but it's hard to tell his amused smirk from his
usual smug one. He looks at himself once again. “Well, my six pack wouldn't
find completely bad to talk with you for a while. You never really had the
chance to meet him during all those years. And now this sounds terribly dirty,
but I swear I started it as a joke,” he says, blinking.
“What makes you think I would like that?” Leo says, outraged. “Dad's so right
about you. There's something creepy in what you say sometimes.”
Blaine knows he's talking about Dave this time. It's pretty easy to get the
change in tone. Leonard is always angry as Dave when he speaks his words.
Blaine just wishes he would be sweet as Kurt when he speaks like him. He rarely
does, though. “I wouldn't call myself creepy, and neither should you. It's not
exactly a compliment, you know?” He says. “Didn't your dad teach you that,
too?”
“Dad taught me to be honest too,” Leo grins because he can answer to the point
for once.
Blaine finds him really cute when he tries to talk as cleverly as himself and
fails miserably. Leonard always thinks to be right and to have the right answer
to everything. Unfortunately, he almost never does. “Yes, I appreciate honesty,
but there's a difference between being honest and being rude, and I think
you're being rude. So maybe your dad didn't teach you very well.” Then he
smiles, trying to sweeten his last words, maybe. Or maybe not. “Why don't you
come here?”
Blaine pats the spot beside him on the couch. For the longest moment ever, Leo
looks at him, then at the spot on the couch, then at him again. He doesn't know
exactly what makes him go there, eventually. Probably the wish to show Blaine
all the disdain he feels right now. He wouldn't see it in the dark, if he
wasn't close enough. He goes there slowly, though, always watching him and sits
on the other end of the couch. “What?” He barks.
Leonard doesn't exactly sit on the couch, he just falls on it, like his legs
couldn't hold him up anymore. Blaine watches him as he curls up in a stubborn
ball the farthest he can from him, crossing his arms on his chest and trying to
look very mad and deadly serious. He fails again. There is something off with
the kid, tonight. Blaine has noticed that since the kid has looked up at him,
entering the house. The way his eyes never linger on him too much doesn't seem
quite angered as it usually is. He knows Leo's rage very well, and it doesn't
look like that. Plus, his knee is shaking so fast he could make a hole in the
ground with his foot if he keeps moving it. It looks like someone is feeling
really awkward at his naked presence.
If it's a nudity problem, and he is not sure about that.
“Don't worry, I just want to talk,” he says, with his best reassuring tone as
he tries not to smile affectionately at the way Leo is looking at everything
but him. “So, when did it start?”
“When did it start what?”
Blaine smiles sweetly. He has the feeling this is going to be a very long
night. “When did you first notice that you like boys.”
The snicker that comes out of Leo's mouth is so ridiculously nervous and sudden
that Leo closes his mouth right after it, feeling ashamed. Then he swallows and
tries to chuckle in a more controlled way. “I don't like boys,” he says with
half a smile.
Of course he doesn't. Who ever admits it right away the first time? “My gaydar
never failed, boy,” he says with a raised eyebrow. “Plus, you're staring at me.
Like, really staring.”
Leo pouts instantly and glares at him. “Maybe you should have it overhauled,
then 'cause I'm not gay. I'm staring at you because you are naked.”
“Why do you insist on me being naked? I am not. I could show you what the word
naked means, if you wanted, but this,” he says, calmly pointing at himself as
if he wanted to talk some sense into him with logic “is not how you define
naked.”
That's exactly why Leo hates him, because nothing ever phases him and, instead
of getting mad, he always answers with tons of explanations nobody wanted to
hear in the first place. Leo always ends up arguing on his own because Blaine
doesn't even start to get as upset as he is. “Well, you're half naked then. And
I'm not used to have half naked guys on my couch, OK?”
“Don't you?” Blaine smiles. Leo is so hilarious right now that he's having a
hard time not just laughing in his face. “How do you find the sight, then?”
Leo averts his eyes almost immediately. “Pretty disturbing,” he says,
pretending to sound disgusted while the only thing that comes through it's his
mounting awkwardness.
Blaine watches him as he picks at non-existent loosened threads on the couch.
Leo hasn't lost all his baby fat yet, so his face is still a little rounded and
his now blushing cheeks are adorable in their puffiness, but you can already
see the beauty he's bond to become in a few years. The kid has gorgeous,
delicate features that would make you think he really is Kurt's own blood. His
nose is a straight line and his almost almond-shaped eyes are so azure like
Blaine has never seen before. But the thing that never fails to catch Blaine's
attention are Leo's lips. They are full, just slightly pinker than the rest of
him and when he happens to look at them, he always thinks that he really should
be looking at something else.
“Now, disturbing is a word that can have a lot of different meanings,” Blaine
says, moving a little closer to him. “So, since your father told you to be
honest, what kind of disturbing are we talking about?”
Leo sighs heavily and what comes out of his mouth has a strange resigned tone
to it. “Why are you asking me these questions?” He would like to ask Blaine
what the hell he wants from him, but then he realizes that he has given nothing
but rage and sarcasm to him, which he deserves anyway, so maybe this is just
revenge, or something. He just needs to find a way to get away from him.
“I don't know,” Blaine shrugs. “Maybe I just want to understand if you really
hate me or if you just don't want me to come too close to you, because you're
scared of the consequences. It's a possibility I'm still taking into
consideration, regardless of your continuous denials.”
Leo turns on the couch, so to face him. “OK, let's put this straight once and
for all. I don't like you.” He tries to state this as much clearly and slowly
as he can, so if the man has some hearing problems or something, he will
understand anyway. “And even if I did, you're one of my dads' ex boyfriend and
the other's archenemy, so...”
So the problem really is me, Blaine thinks amused. The flow of Leo's words goes
on for a few minutes, describing how much he doesn't like him at all and how
hypothetical scenarios where he likes him would be hilariously and stupidly so
not true. It doesn't matter, Blaine has already stopped listening to him long
ago, as soon as the problem was crystalline clear to him.
“OK, now it's my turn to put this straight.” He smiles and moves even closer.
So close he is now inches away from Leo. So close that when he speaks again
without being bothered by the fact that he's embarrassing him to no end, Leo
can blush but he can't move away, unless he stands up. And he doesn't. “I think
you like me. I don't know if you already found me cute when you were a kid, but
now? You're eating me alive with your eyes, kid. Do you know why you keep
saying I'm naked? That's because you're undressing me. In your head.”
Leo's eyes grow so big he is almost comical. He gets instantly agitated, but
even if he fidgets on the spot, he doesn't go anywhere. “I'm not!” He almost
screams. “What... What are you talking about? It's nothing even close to that!”
“Come on, kid, it's so obvious. Don't you even notice? You're freaking out and
I haven't even touched you, yet.”
“And you won't do that!” He shrieks, outraged. But then he deflates, like he
had put all the strength in denying Blaine the permission to do something he
has never really intended to do, and now he had to resign to just sighing and
begging him to just leave him alone. “I'm not comfortable with this.”
There's an echo of Kurt in these words. Blaine remembers very clearly how Leo's
father used to say he was uncomfortable every time he had to face something he
was scared to do, however curious he was to do it. He stated he was not
comfortable, and the case was closed. Not that Blaine would have forced him to
do anything he didn't want to, but Kurt continuously closing to him was one of
the reason why he and Blaine broke up in the end.
Leo is exactly like his father. He is scared, therefore he's trying to avoid
speaking of what scares him, but Blaine is not gonna let him because he doesn't
want to repeat the same mistakes he made with Leo's father. “So you are asking
me not to do it, not because you don't want me to, but because you're scared
about it?” He inquires.
That's when something changes in Leo's eyes, as if the question had melted
something inside him. Blaine knows he has hit a soft spot by the way Leo
finally gives up and sighs, looking confused. “I'm asking you not to do it
because I'm not exactly sure of my things.”
“What things are we talking about here? And why aren't you sure of them?”
Blaine asks gently, his voice almost soothing as he comes even closer to him.
They are practically touching now. “Maybe I could help.”
Leo doesn't think Blaine can help anybody, let alone him. But these feelings
he's been having lately about other people torture him and mess up his head to
the point that he is more than willing to talk about them with the first person
who bothered to notice that something was off about him. Too bad said person is
one he despises so much. But he showed some interest at least, didn't he?
“Sometimes it happens that... I can tell a male body is gorgeous,” he
eventually confesses, looking down, his face as red as it can be. Now that he
has said that, he doesn't feel any better about it, but at least he feels
lighter. As if he has just passed his problem to somebody else by saying it
aloud. It doesn't work like that, of course he knows that, but it feels good.
So maybe that's why he doesn't run away. “And I'm not sure why this happens.”
Blaine smiles at him reassuringly. “That doesn't mean anything, you know? We're
human beings, and it's our nature to be particularly fascinated by beauty. If
you just think a male body is beautiful, that doesn't make you gay, or even
bisexual. It just makes you a normal human being. On the other hand,” he raises
a hand and lets a finger slide on his chest down to his stomach “if a male body
has other effects on you other than making you notice how beautiful it is, than
maybe there's something else.”
Leo follows his finger with his eyes and he is a little startled when Blaine
gently pushes his stomach with it.
He knows what he means by that. He knows really well the tangled feeling that
makes his stomach hurt sometimes. “It might have done that once or twice,” he
says vaguely, turning purple.
Blaine knows how much it costs Leo to say it aloud, especially to him. He can
read how troubled he is on the tense lines on his face. “And does it happen in
a specific moment or with a specific person?”
“No, it just happens randomly,” he says.
And that's a lie. Sometimes, when his eyes fall on his male friends during
P.E., he feels weird, and even if this upsets him, he can't really turn away
from the curve of their back or the way their flat stomach dives underneath the
waistband of their pants. Exactly as it happens when he's looking at girls and
he's intrigued by what lies beneath their clothes. That's why he is so
confused. He doesn't know which one of the feelings is real.
But all this came after.
The truth is everything started with Blaine, and Leo is very well aware of
that. He may not know what drooling over both guys and girls means right know,
but he knows what happens in his head every time this stupid man is around, how
his stomach hurts at the sight of him. How it's not really his stomach that
demands attention. And how his mind answers with rage to that upsetting and
embarrassing feeling between his legs.
So now he doesn't know anything for sure. If he likes boys, girls, both. Or
what in the world this man has done to his head lately. He thought that hating
him would stop the confusion, but it's not working very well, it seems.
But he can't tell him any of this, though. That's why he needs to lie, because
he really doesn't want to face the consequences of confessing to Blaine stupid
fucking Anderson that he has felt something for him in his belly more than
once.
Blaine is currently holding his breath because Leo is so beautiful in his
confusion. Whatever wall there was between them, it has crumbled down, leaving
him defenseless. Even though this sounds bad even in his head – and he knows
it's gonna sound even worse once he will speak again – he just can't look away
from the kid.
“Then you should probably try,” Blaine says. “Just to see how your body
reacts.”
Leo shivers. “You are not suggesting with you, are you?”
Blaine chuckles, but he makes sure not to make it come across like mocking him.
“Well, as a matter of fact, I am,” he says. “I mean, it would be alright. I
promise I would never do something you don't want me to do. It would be just a
test. Plus, you could even finally stop hating me afterward. So I'd really like
to take the chance.”
This is not right for so many reasons, Leo is pretty sure about it. But what
really worries him now are other kind of possible consequences. “What if I
don't like it and hate you even more?” It shouldn't be a problem hating him
more than he hates him now. But since Leo is not so sure that hate means really
hate in his case, he doesn't want to risk to sort of-hating him even more. He
doesn't know what could happen then.
Blaine doesn't look as worried as much as Leo is. Actually, he shrugs like this
is not a big deal. “They're two different things, you know. You could still
hate me but like the kiss, for example. And that would mean the experiment
wasn't completely useless, because at least we would know if you like boys too,
or if you don't.”
Leo makes a face. “Why exactly if I like kissing you, I like boys?”
Blaine blinks, pretending to be very puzzled and dying a bit of laughter
inside. “Because I happen to be a boy, maybe?” Then he grins in that way that
always manages to give Leo shivers he can't quite define as good or bad.
They're just weird. “Obviously, there's another possibility, that is you liking
to kiss me because you just like me. But we're not even taking this in any
consideration, are we?”
Leo instantly shakes his head, looking outraged and purple. “No way. Not even
the slightest chance!”
“I thought so,” Blaine nods, as he sits more comfortably, resting his back
against the couch back. “Well, then, there's nothing more to discuss, am I
right? Come here.”
Leo looks at him very suspiciously, but he goes there anyway. “For what?”
Blaine doesn't waste much time to explain what's gonna happen. He strongly
believes that there's only so much you can explain with words. “For this,” he
says, grabbing Leo by his nape and pulling him closer for a hungry and
incredibly wet kiss. For a very long time, this is the only thing he says.
Leo feels Blaine's hair dripping water on his t-shirt as he's pulled closer,
and the next feeling is the softness of Blaine's moistened lips. For a moment,
he'd like to stop him because this is happening too quickly, but he doesn't.
Instead, he kisses him back the moment after, with a soft moaning noise.
Blaine lets his fingers run through Leo's hair, caressing his scalp and pulling
him slightly closer, so that their bodies touch, even though not too much
because he doesn't want to frighten the kid away. Leo is so lost in it already
that he just leans in. Blaine lets that same hand slide down his neck then, and
starts caressing him slowly as he deepens the kiss.
Leo opens his mouth, allowing Blaine's tongue to explore it as much as it
wants. And it actually feels so good that he stops trying to understand what is
really happening with and around them. He rests one hand to the couch to
balance himself as he gets a little closer by himself.
Encouraged by the way Leo's reacting, Blaine pulls him to his chest, deepening
the kiss even more. But now that there's nothing but Leo's clothes separating
them and Leo can feel Blaine's body against his own, something clicks in his
head and he withdraws, suddenly.
“Wait... I...” he stutters, lips red as cherries and the most confused
expression Blaine has ever seen on him. “That's enough.”
Blaine immediately stops pulling him by his nape, but he gives him one last
kiss anyway. “So, how did it feel?” He asks, still so close to him that he
breathes on his puffy lips.
Leo takes a moment before answering as he unconsciously wets his lips with the
tip of his tongue. “Weird... that it's so good.”
Blaine smiles a little, his hand still lazily caressing Leo’s neck. “You want
to do it again?” he asks, and it’s not like he’s expecting Leo to say yes,
considering the kid was the first to pull away, after all, but somehow that’s
exactly what he gets: Leo barely lets him finish his question, and the second
after he’s literally all over him, pressing his little body against Blaine’s,
and that’s an invitation Blaine is not really able to refuse.
He wraps his arms around Leo’s shoulders, keeping him close as the kiss grows a
bit more forceful, a bit hungrier, a bit messier. Leo whines when Blaine’s
teeth playfully close around his already swollen bottom lip, but he doesn’t
pull away, and it’s up to Blaine, this time, to put a stop on things, before
they get too wild, too fast.
“You sure learn fast,” he comments, an even smile curling his lips, still so
very close to Leo’s, “You’re adorable,” he adds, gently stroking one of Leo’s
cheeks with his index finger, and then biting at the kid’s bottom lip again,
before he starts trailing its outline with the tip of his tongue, making the
boy shiver with pleasure. “You know, I could make it better, if you wanted.”
Leo slowly opens his eyes, struggling to focus on him. It’s so obvious –
written all over his face – that, if it was for him, he would have kept going
on kissing him for the rest of his life. It kind of feels like, whatever it was
that kept Leo so frustrated and angry, it’s slowly fading away, leaving him
freer to do things he would have never thought he could do before. “You… You
can?” he says, his voice cracking in surprised anticipation, like he wasn’t
even struck by the possibility of a kiss feeling even better than how it had
been up to that moment.
Blaine smiles sweetly, nodding slowly. “Yes, I can,” he says, every word a kiss
on Leo’s lips, so light that the boy keeps chasing those kisses and never
manages to catch them, “You just have to let me know when I have to stop
because you’re not feeling comfortable anymore,” he warns him, kissing him once
more and smiling when Leo lets out a frustrated moan because, once again, he
didn’t manage to kiss him properly, “Promise you’ll stop me if this ever
becomes unpleasant.”
“Stop running away…” Leo whines, firmly holding Blaine’s head between his hands
and keeping it still to win another real kiss, taking his time to savor it
before he pulls away, looking kind of lost, now. “By the way you’re saying it…
I mean, am I supposed to feel uncomfortable, at some point?”
Blaine kisses him again, and then stays as close to him as he can, lips
brushing against Leo’s with every word he says. “I tend to be honest,” he says,
“And I can’t lie: you could, depending on how far you want to go. But,” he
promises with a light smile, “I’ll do my best to make you feel good.”
Leo somehow manages to find his lost smartass self back again, and smirks
against Blaine’s lips. “You forget I never trusted you, I’m not trusting you
now and I certainly won’t do it from now on. But I’m curious to see how far
your lies go.”
Blaine grins, his hands running down Leo’s body and closing around his hips.
“Sounds like a challenge,” he says, helping Leo to lay on his back on the couch
while holding the towel at his place, so it doesn’t slip away while he settles
on him. Then, he starts kissing Leo again, hands running up and down his body,
through his clothes, and the kid, who wasn’t expecting another kiss, moans
slightly at the feeling of Blaine’s lips. He fidgets uncomfortably under the
man’s body, though. He’s not used to the new position, and right now, with the
torturing pressure of Blaine’s body all over his, he definitely thinks he could
never get used to it.
It’s so embarrassing, for fuck’s sake. He’s so hard. They both are, and he
can’t help to ask himself if he’s prepared for where this thing’s going.
He’s not sure he is, but after all he’s not sure he could ever be, even in
twenty years. He figures he just has to take the chance.
“Listen…” he says, when Blaine’s lips let him free to talk, “Who decides who
gets to top or bottom, exactly…?”
Blaine can’t help a laugh from slipping out of his parted lips. He’s trying not
to mock the kid because he doesn’t want to have him run away with an angry mood
– who knows what he could do in retaliation? After all, he put a dead snake in
his bag not more than three years ago just to spite him during a family holiday
Blaine had been part of – but Leo’s making it very hard to be serious, right
now.
“Now, now,” he says, shaking his head, “Aren’t you running a little too fast? I
never talked about getting to the real thing. Yet,” he adds with a dirty smile
that sends wild shivers down Leo’s spine.
Leo frowns, blushing furiously, and Blaine stops the hell from breaking loose
by kissing him deeply again. One thing he’s sure of: Leo likes kisses a lot. He
instantly melts under his fingers when Blaine starts to kiss him, and so,
despite having clearly offended him, with just that single kiss Blaine gets the
free pass to let his hands run down Leo’s sides and then dive under his t-
shirt, fingertips gently brushing his skin. “You’re hot,” he whispers on Leo’s
lips, and he can almost feel Leo blushing again.
“…am I?” he asks in a low, soft, kind of surprised voice. “I mean,” he adds
then, clearing his throat and looking away after he realizes how his voice
sounded, “Are you even supposed to say that to another guy? I mean, even if you
like him, shouldn’t you say something more…” he shrugs, “I don’t know, manly?”
Blaine laughs again, harder, trying to restrain himself but not really making
it at all. “I just meant your skin is hot,” he clarifies, shaking his head. Leo
blushes more violently and tilts his head, looking someplace else, to some
random point behind Blaine’s shoulder. “As for how you look,” Blaine says, his
smile growing a little sweeter as he lets his eyes wander on Leo’s childish and
stubbornly angry expression, “I think you go far beyond every dream of a man my
age.” He pulls up Leo’s shirt to take a look at him. Leo’s tummy is still a
little rounded, and seems so very soft, and Blaine wants to take a bite of it
so much that he feels dirty just thinking about it. “You are flawless,” he says
in a whisper as he gently bends over Leo, kissing his navel and playing with
his tongue in and out of it.
Leo lets out a liquid moan, arching his back enough to offer his belly to
Blaine’s kisses. “That was…” he says in a heavy breath as he throws his head
back after Blaine kisses his navel again, “That was so lame.”
Blaine laughs, and he’d like to answer that – asking Leo, for example, why did
he blush so much, if the compliment was so lame – but he prefers to keep
kissing his skin, soft and smooth, silky like a baby’s, and so his answer ends
up to be his laughter alone.
“If you stopped laughing,” Leo says, annoyed, “That would be very helpful.
You’re distracting me from your tongue,” he adds in a light smirk.
Blaine looks up at him, raising an eyebrow at his newly found confidence in
himself. “How could I possibly laugh with a mouthful of your tummy?” he asks,
running his tongue up the kid’s chest, “Would you take your shirt off for me?”
he asks then, eyes half-closed as he covers Leo’s chest in casual kisses, “I
could do it myself, but I want to watch you as you do it.”
“You perv…” Leo says in a mild protest, but still he crosses his arms over his
chest and grabs his t-shirt by its hem to take it off. Once he gets rid of it,
he lets it fall on the floor by the couch and then lies there on his back,
feeling uncomfortable, embarrassed and horny as hell, basically not even
knowing what to do with himself. “Like this?” he asks, just to give himself
something to think about. Learning about the right way to get undressed in
front of a man twenty years older than him and that he’s definitely supposed to
hate sounds like a good way to pass time.
No, it’s not. Like, at all. And Leo wants to die. But then Blaine moistens his
lips and looks at him like he could swallow him all at once, and then whispers
“Yes. Exactly like this,” as he kisses him down his chest again, and Leo
doesn’t want to die anymore, he just wants to feel this as long as possible,
and when Blaine takes one of his nipples between his lips and teeth, and sucks
and nibbles at it to make it oversensitive, something inside Leo’s brain just
explodes, and he loses control over his whole body.
He closes his eyes shut, holding his breath in surprise. He didn’t even know
that something, let alone some guy sucking at his nipples, could feel like
that. Like electric shocks of pleasure making him shiver and moan
uncontrollably. He doesn’t know much about male-on-male stuff, which – he
admits – is a bit absurd considering he’s got two dads, but he really didn’t
know that sex could feel like that, with another guy or at all. It’s scary, but
surprising. And kind of addictive, he finds out when Blaine starts to stroke
both his nipples with his fingertips, and he can’t help but let a shocked “omg”
slip out of his lips.
Blaine suddenly raises his head, letting out an amused chuckle as he looks at
Leo. "What did you just say?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.
Leo manages to open his eyes, looking at Blaine with a bit of confusion showing
on his face. He has no idea why Blaine stopped, and he knows he could kill for
way less than this. "What?" he murmurs, fidgeting under Blaine's now
unnervingly still fingers, "I said OMG. Don't you use this kind of exclamations
in your... whatever place you come from?"
Blaine laughs again, shifting over him to settle into a more comfortable
position. Leo can feel the man's hardness against his own thigh, now, making
his thoughts even more confused. He feels so dizzy he could swear he's about to
faint. This can't be good for him, in any way. "You know," Blaine says, "I had
a fair number of sexual encounters, but it doesn't matter what I did to my
partners, none of them ever responded to something I did saying 'omg'." He
pulls himself up to reach Leo's lips, kissing him again as he resumes playing
with the kid's now hard nipples.
"Yeah, well..." Leo mutters, keeping his eyes half opened to look at Blaine's
face as he kisses him, "Next time don't bed a teenage kid, if you don't wanna
hear acronyms in response to what you do." Blaine laughs again, and Leo frowns,
trying to fight the urge to arch his back to offer his own chest to Blaine's
ministrations, "Would you stop laughing? You're really annoying."
"It's not my fault, I swear," Blaine keeps chuckling, and Leo keeps hating him,
even if he's starting to get used to the sound of his laughter, "You are
unbelievable. And I mean it," he says, looking right into Leo's eyes. Leo
blushes, because he could get used to the sound of Blaine's voice, or his
laughter's, but his eyes, he's never gonna get used to them. Whenever Blaine
stares at him, he feels uncomfortable, naked, exposed. His gaze turns him
inside out, and it's nothing like pleasant. It's just disturbing and annoying,
and the fact that he himself keeps searching for it makes it even more so.
Blaine moves slowly, but firmly, and in a second Leo feels him rubbing against
his thigh, and it's way more than just feeling the pressure of his hard-on
against it, because in the movement Blaine's thigh rubs against his crotch, and
it makes Leo instantly want more.
"Shit..." he moans, fidgeting slightly under Blaine's body when he feels Blaine
starting to rub against him following a slow and regular pace. He hangs to the
man's shoulders, trying to follow those movements and failing constantly. He'd
like to tell Blaine to stop, to not do whatever he's doing right now, because
it's too much, and he's still dressed, and he couldn't stand the thought of
coming right away like a ridiculous, inexperienced kid, but he can't even
manage to open his mouth for something else than moans and whining. And he
feels so lost he's almost scared to open his eyes, fearing the world he would
see then could be completely different than the one he knows.
"Calm down," Blaine whispers, kissing him slowly, "You don't want this to end
up too soon, do you? I promise it'll be better, if you let it last longer."
"Yeah, well..." Leo breathes slowly, trying to think about something else than
Blaine's body pushed right up against his. He ends up understanding that those
urban legends about thinking of your granny to stop yourself from getting off
too soon are just that, urban legends. When you've got somebody like this so
close, touching you this way, there's no chance to let any other thought take
their place. It's the first time he finds somebody so captivating, and it's
scary, especially considering it's Blaine he's thinking about, and he should
hate the man with a fire for a numerous variety of reasons he can't manage to
recall right now. "It's not my fault, you know, I'm fifteen," he snorts, "It's
kind of an issue teenagers have. Maybe you don't remember 'cause it happened to
you in the past century."
"Hey," Blaine chuckles, "I'm not that old."
"Yeah, I'll let you know when I cut your arm and count the rings."
"Shut up!" Blaine laughs again, leaning in to kiss him. When the kiss breaks,
Leo looks at the man and finds him smiling. That's scary too, because he finds
himself to like that smile. "Now, say I wanted to touch you."
"Aren't you already?"
"You're not being serious at all," Blaine giggles, playfully slapping his hip
to keep him in line, "I'm talking about under the Walls of Jericho," he
clarifies, letting one of his hands travel down Leo's tummy to reach the button
of his jeans to make his intentions even clearer.
Leo blushes violently, looking away. "The Walls of Jericho?" he mutters, his
cheeks so flushed he's scared he'll start to glow in the dark soon,
"Seriously?"
Blaine smiles again, catching the kid's chin between his fingers and making him
turn his face enough to have his eyes on him once more. "I need an answer," he
says in a low voice, "I need permission."
Leo blushes more, enough to start feeling a headache coming. He looks down at
Blaine's fingers, so still around his jeans' button, like waiting for
instructions. And he nods, biting at his lower lip.
"Fine," Blaine smiles again, unbuttoning Leo's jeans and pulling them down his
thighs enough to expose him, but not enough to let him free to move. Leo
fidgets uncomfortably, but it doesn't last long, and he freezes on the spot
when he feels Blaine's fingertips trailing the outline of his own hard-on.
Stranger hands down there feel good enough for him to cry, but he can't make a
show of himself, not now, not more than he's already doing, so he closes his
eyes, breathes in and out and settles under Blaine's body, resting his hands on
his shoulders as he tries to focus on the feeling alone, letting the context
and what's causing it out of him, like it was just a dream that he could forget
comes morning.
Blaine doesn't let him.
"Open your eyes," he says, his voice somehow stern, like he's scolding him,
"Look at yourself. You're gorgeous."
Leo doesn't know why he obeys, but he does, guided by Blaine's voice and by how
good it feels now that the man has closed his fist around him and is stroking
him harder. He holds his breath, looking down at Blaine's hand moving slowly
around his erection, and bites at his inner cheek, fidgeting under him. "That
is..." he breathes out, "...wow."
"It could feel even better," Blaine whispers against Leo's skin, sliding down
the kid's chest and tummy in short, barely wet kisses, "But it could also be
kind of embarrassing. So I guess this calls for another question," he smiles,
placing a tender kiss right under the boy's navel. "Do you want me to take it
in my mouth?"
Leo's whole body starts to shake uncontrollably, unable to resist all the
feelings that seem to keep him under siege. The touch of Blaine's hand, the
warmth of his breath on his barely sweaty skin, the intensity of his eyes
locked with his own, the deep vibration of his voice, those words echoing in
the air all around him and inside his brain. "I've... I've never..." he
swallows, his hips almost automatically thrusting upwards to meet Blaine's
strokes better, "I mean, nobody has ever... to me, y'know..." he lets out a
desperate sigh melting into a restless sob, covering his face with both his
hands, "Geez, can I be any more pathetic?"
"You're not pathetic at all," Blaine says, his voice even lower, nothing but a
whisper, now, but still reverberating through the room, like it was made of
thunder. "You are not," he repeats, his lips brushing against the head of Leo's
cock, licking it tentatively, "Do you hear me?" he says, and he looks up at
Leo, locking eyes with him with no shame at all as he sucks him inside his
mouth, still stroking him slowly.
Leo chokes on his own breath, eyes wide open in the darkness of the room. The
warmth, the wetness, the sucking, it's all too much, and when he thinks his
heart's going to fail him, Blaine stops, and still looking at him whispers a
"you taste so good" that pushes a whole new series of buttons inside Leo's
body, buttons he didn't even thought he had.
"Shit!" he squeals, pushing his hips up carelessly, eager to dive deeper inside
Blaine's mouth, unable to stay still. Blaine lets him, stroking his hips with
both his hands and moving his head up and down, following Leo's movements.
He pulls away a few seconds later, licking pre-cum away from his own lips. "Now
you can choose again," he says slowly, articulating his words, "I could go on
like this and make you come," he suggests, kissing the head of Leo's cock,
still wet and almost hurting now that the kid's so hard he can barely stand it,
"Or I could show you how grown-ups like to come," he smirks, sucking him into
his mouth again.
"God..." Leo whines, throwing his head back on the couch, "Just do something,
I'm going crazy."
Blaine chuckles, his lips sliding slowly up and down Leo's length. "I recognize
I'm acting a little teasingly," he says, "But that's not something I can decide
on my own. I need your permission. Even though, I can't lie, I want you. I
really want to feel you all around me," he moves up, kissing Leo on his tummy
and then staying there, drawing wet, curly lines on his skin with the tip of
his tongue as he can't help letting a dirty grin crawl its way up to his lips,
"I would really like to fuck you."
Leo lets out a desperate, breathless moan, hesitating before he answers.
There's a part of him that wants this so much he's sure he'll regret it forever
if he doesn't find the guts to say yes. Another part, though, is so terrified
he could just as well jump up and run away crying. "...is it gonna be
devastating like it seems it will?" he asks, whining, "Maybe I'm not drunk
enough."
"You don't look drunk at all," Blaine notices with a small chuckle.
"Exactly," Leo answers, covering his face with his forearm.
Blaine smiles tenderly, climbing up his body in little dry kisses as he keeps
stroking him gently. "I promise it'll be worth it," he whispers in his ear,
just before sucking at the soft, sensitive skin right under his earlobe,
"You'll come harder than you ever did."
Leo breathes out, terrified now, because that's a yes. Yes, it's gonna be just
as devastating as it looks like. Probably even more. There's something blooming
inside himself, Leo can feel it. Some sort of warm wave mounting deep inside of
his body, something drawing him ruthlessly towards Blaine. Something bad,
something Leo can see casting a long shadow he can't see the end of. He can't
decide if it's just lust or something else. He knows he can't escape it now,
not because it's been running after him and it almost reached him anyway, but
because, on the contrary, he feels like he himself has been running after it
for years now, and he can't wait to hold it in his hands, see what is it, if
it's scary as it feels it could be, if it will burn his skin like the touch of
Blaine's hands is doing right now.
"Is it normal that I want you to do it anyway?" he asks, his eyes closed as he
tilts his head to make room for Blaine's lips running up and down his neck, "I
mean, even if I know it's gonna hurt, and even if I'm scared... is it normal if
I still want you to do me this way?"
"Totally," Blaine answers, laughing a little. Leo hates him now more than ever,
because Blaine doesn't know. Blaine doesn't get it. How hard it is to even
speak in his presence, how much strength Leo's needing right now just to keep
himself together under the even touch of his fingertips, how frustrating always
was for him to just stand right in front of Blaine and fight not to fall,
fueling his rage against him with all the flaws Blaine kept throwing at him,
exposing them as if he was proud of them. And it was never enough, never enough
to move his eyes away from him, not really, because even in the worst days,
when he just wanted him gone and as far away from him as it was possible, it
was only to stop facing the fact that his body was aching for it. For this. And
Blaine, he just stays there, and it's a game, for him, just something new he's
playing with, and he keeps laughing like what's happening is no big deal, and
Leo keeps thinking "fine, then, it's not gonna be a big deal for me either",
but when Blaine's lips touch his in another kiss that quickly grows deeper and
hungrier, it's impossible to keep thinking straight. It's impossible to push
away the deep, instinctual knowledge of the truth his body's telling, when all
he can hear is his own heartbeat roaring in his ears.
"I missed the taste," Blaine says, almost talking to himself, smiling kind of
stupidly as he takes his time to play with Leo's lips, tracing their outlines
with the tip of his tongue and indulging in a couple of little bites that
instantly make them swollen, cherry red and incredibly sensitive.
"So..." Leo says, letting Blaine kiss him, just opening his lips to let
Blaine's tongue in, "What about my first question?"
Blaine laughs again, tightening his grip around Leo's cock and stroking him
harder. "That's not something you decide preemptively. You mainly go with the
flow, with the inspiration of the moment. Did you know," he says, opening his
eyes wide as if he was telling something completely new and uncommon, even if
Leo knows he's only using this tone because he wants to mock him, "Did you know
you can actually switch roles, if your partner is open-minded enough and
doesn't believe homosexuals should be divided in two categories, one of which
stands for the male role while the other stands for the female?"
Leo looks away, his lips curling in a pensive expression, and just by looking
at that Blaine can tell that right now the kid's thinking about his own parents
and the way what Blaine just described simply doesn't apply to them. "Oh, God,"
he chuckles, "I can read it in your eyes. Please. Just don't," he says, kissing
Leo deeply again to switch the subject of his musing. Leo whines between his
lips, clearly unhappy with the way he probably feels Blaine's patronizing him,
but the man just ignores him and, when he parts from his lips, he's already
smiling. "Let's say I'll top, for this time," he suggests, "Just because I'm
actually dying to be inside of you," he adds, leaning in to kiss the kid
lightly on his lips. "How about it?"
Leo blushes, embarrassed by his words, and glares at him. "You say this time
like there's ever gonna be a second," he snorts, but then he sighs and nods.
"Go ahead," he says, "I wouldn't know where to start anyway."
"I was saying it just in case, you know," Blaine laughs, "You seem to enjoy
it."
He pulls away, standing on his knees and slowly freeing himself from the towel.
The light of the moon, coming inside from the window, makes his lightly sweaty
skin almost glow in the darkness of the room. And even though it's dark, and
even though Leo's upset because he can't help liking Blaine despite how
unpleasant he finds him as a person, he can't help but swallow whatever snarky
remark he had conjured from the last rational bit of himself, and stop to stare
at him. His eyes travel quickly down the man's body, falling rapidly on his
cock, so big and hard to scare him.
"Now I know for sure I won't survive this night," he says in an even,
frightened, shaking breath, as he tries to swallow once more and finds out his
throat's completely closed.
"Why do you say so?" Blaine smiles softly, bending over the kid and rubbing
against him, keeping himself up on his arms, the tense line of which Leo
follows with lost eyes, moistening his lips.
"'Cause..." he starts off, quickly losing control over his own body as he feels
his own cock answer to Blaine's rubbing, "'Cause clearly you're gonna break
something, possibly in half. I don't know. It's in no way possible."
"I am in no way this big, kid," Blaine kisses him slowly, lightly hitting his
knees with one of his own to ask him to part his legs. "Would you make some
room for me?"
"You seem so, to me," Leo answers, opening his legs anyway.
"I'm going to take this as a compliment," Blaine says, laughing a little, "But
you don't have to be scared. It will hurt just for a moment. And it's part of
the game," he adds, speaking softly over the sensitive skin right under Leo's
ear, "There's a life lesson in it too. Nothing really good can be earned
without having to suffer for it a little bit before," he whispers, licking one
of his own fingers and pushing the tip of it gently against Leo's opening.
Leo tenses nervously, closing his knees in a sudden reaction to the weird,
surprising feeling of that slick finger against a place he never thought could
be touched that way.
"Hey," Blaine speaks softly, kissing him on the tip of his nose, "...you
probably don't like cuddles, do you?" he stops right after, just while Leo's
body had started to tense all towards his to get some more of said cuddles,
"Just try to relax," he tries, as Leo falls back down on the couch deciding
that, as much of a cuddles-whore he can be, he's never gonna ask for it. Not to
Blaine, anyway. "It'll feel good soon, I promise," Blaine goes on, "I know how
to make it feel good."
He pushes half of his finger inside of Leo's body, moving it slowly in circles.
Leo makes a face and tries to relax, holding onto Blaine's shoulders. "It's not
as bad as I thought," he says, "It just feels... uncomfortable."
"Yes," Blaine chuckles, "That's why people usually don't sit on fingers." Leo
glares at him and Blaine laughs again, shaking his head. "Alright, sorry, I
won't try and make jokes anymore."
"You better. Your jokes are lame."
"Do you want me to stop?" Blaine asks suddenly, leaning in to kiss him. It's an
open, wet kiss that moves along with his finger pushing a little bit deeper,
touching some spot inside of him that makes him shiver in something that, even
if it's not pleasure already, certainly reminds it greatly.
"Don't you dare, not now that it started to feel good," Leo answers to his
question and to the kiss, his hips moving down to meet Blaine's finger, "Keep
doing... whatever you're doing. You're..." he breathes out, letting a little
moan go with it, "I don't know, it feels different, now."
Blaine kisses him hard again, his hips moving against Leo's thigh with a will
of their own. "Then I'm going with another one," he says, "Be strong, kid."
Leo bites at his lips, trying to relax and to distract himself concentrating on
how fucking pleasure it feels to have Blaine this close to him, to feel him
hard against his body, even to know he's gonna be inside of him in a few
minutes.
"Don't bite too hard," Blaine says, kissing the offended lip sweetly, sucking
it inside his mouth and biting it gently, as if to show Leo how it's done,
"You're too beautiful to ruin yourself like this," he adds, twitching his
fingers inside the kid's body, drawing a surprised scream out of his lips.
Leo tries to cover his mouth, hoping his parents didn't hear them. "What did
you just do?!" he asks, trying to recover from how breathless that sudden shock
of pleasure he felt left him.
Despite how amused he is, Blaine tries not to laugh, so to not upset Leo again.
"That's the part in which you admit I was right, and it was worth it," he says.
"Oh, dream, Warbler," Leo answers, frowning, "I didn't say it was good. I just
asked what-- shit," Leo almost screams again, parting his legs and pushing his
hips down on Blaine's fingers again when he feels the man twitch them inside
his body once more, searching for the same reaction from before.
Blaine celebrates his victory with a self-satisfied grin. "You’re not calling
me warbler during sex, kid," he says, pulling and pushing his fingers in and
out of Leo's body.
"Is my name allowed just until sunset or something?" Leo snorts, annoyed with
how easily Blaine let that nickname - kid, he's always been kid for him, since
he was six - slip into what they're doing now. Just what Leo needed, some
innocent, everyday word to become triggering for such a thing like sex.
Blaine smiles, kissing his pout away and smiling once more when Leo lets out
the umpteenth needy moan, answering to the pressure of his fingers inside him.
His smile growing wider, he leans in to whisper in Leo's ear, "Think about how
much better it's going to be when I'm doing that with my cock, instead of my
fingers."
"Shit," Leo breathes out, moaning shamelessly, "Don't... talk like that. I'm
not used to this, it's weird."
"Oh, but what about all the other things I'd like to tell you now?" Blaine
keeps going, smirking as he kisses his way down Leo's neck, "Like that I want
to fuck you until you beg me to stop. Or that you're so fucking beautiful you
almost make me want to come by just looking at you. Or how I like the way your
cock twitches and hardens for my fingers inside of you."
"God..." Leo starts moving up and down, following Blaine's fingers and rubbing
himself against the man's thigh, clearly losing himself to those words. He's
never had somebody talking to him like this and somehow he had always thought
he'd be squeaked out by dirty talking. Now, he doesn't understand if he likes
it, or if it's just Blaine's voice that's making it work. "You won't stop, will
you? How many more fingers do we need?" he asks, eagerness growing quickly in
his belly.
"I think we're done with the fingers," Blaine whispers on his lips before
kissing him hard, "Now on to the real thing."
Blaine settles himself better between Leo's thighs, while the kid looks down,
trying to watch closely what's about to happen, secretly hoping that if he
manages to keep his eyes fixed on it, it's not gonna hurt. He feels him pushing
tentatively against his opening, and then entering for just a couple of inches.
"God..." Blaine says, trying his best not to move too quickly, despite how
tempting the warmth of Leo's body feels, "I'm not stopping for anything in the
world, kid."
Leo grimaces, biting at his own lip to try and bear the uncomfortableness.
"Maybe... maybe you should've kept going with the fingers..." he breathes out,
hiding his face in Blaine's neck, "Gosh, it feels even bigger than it looks."
Blaine laughs breathlessly, moving in for a couple of inches more as he wraps
his fingers around Leo's cock to start stroking him. "You know, flattering's
not going to get you anywhere," he says, letting out another chuckle when Leo
sticks out his tongue at him. "You're unbelievable tight," he adds then,
closing his eyes as he thrusts once more, finally managing to push himself
entirely into the kid's body, "I am literally in love with you."
"Oh, you love me because I'm tight," Leo answers in an annoyed snort, "That's
so sweet. How come you're single, with all this romance pouring out of you?"
"You really are gorgeous," Blaine laughs again, "And funny. I can't believe you
are still single," he adds, resting still inside of Leo's body, to help him
getting used to the new, cumbersome presence.
"Maybe I'm not and you're fucking a taken man, what about it?" Leo mocks him,
and then he moans again, grimacing at the same time, fidgeting restlessly under
Blaine's body to find a more comfortable position, "It's better if you move,"
he says in a troubled whisper, "I feel... insanely full, if you just stay
still."
"And doesn't it make it more exciting?" Blaine asks, a dirty smile curling his
lips as he slowly starts to rock back and forth, still stroking Leo's cock to
the rhythm of his own thrusts.
"From now on," Leo says, grabbing Blaine by his shoulders and pulling him down,
"You do stuff, I tell you if it's exciting. I'm the one with your cock up his
ass, I've got privileges," he decides, pulling Blaine in for a kiss.
Blaine chuckles between Leo's lips, pushing a little harder inside of him. "You
really are something," he says, "But you've got a point. What about this,
then?" he asks, lifting himself up just a little but holding Leo's hips still
to change the angle of his thrusts, getting way closer to hit with his cock
that same spot he already hit repeatedly with his fingers before.
"Yes!" Leo breathes out, arching backwards in a desperate attempt to follow his
body's imperative to suck Blaine in as much as he can, "You did it again..."
"I can do better," Blaine whispers, thrusting more forcefully now that Leo got
used to his presence inside his body. He pushes so deep inside him that the
tightness and the wet warmth start to feel overwhelming, and for a moment
Blaine just forgets what he's doing and where he is, and all he can understand
is how deliciously trapped inside Leo's body he feels. "Fuck," he whispers,
"You're just... fuck."
"Oh, shit," Leo holds onto Blaine's shoulders, hanging to him, "God, keep doing
this," he begs, searching for his lips almost desperately, his hips moving at
the pace Blaine's setting with his steady, quick thrusts.
"Keep your voice down, kid," Blaine says, though he's finding hard to follow
his own advice and keeps moaning loudly, squeezing Leo's cock inside his fist
and stroking him hard while he pushes even deeper, "God, you're just unreal. I
didn't even know something like this could be possible, I don't want to come
out of you ever again."
Barely opening his eyes to watch Blaine's features and the lines of his body as
he moves in the dark, Leo smiles, lost in what they're sharing. "I don't know,"
he says, his voice so sweet he'd be embarrassed with himself if he only could
hear it from the outside, "It's just crazy that I'm doing this with you."
"Does it really sound so crazy?" Blaine says, thrusting harder inside Leo,
using the armrest to point his feet against it and push deeper, "Am I not good
enough for you?"
And that's when Leo would like to let himself free to speak, because right now
he probably could. He could manage to gather all his courage together and just
tell him that yes, he's good enough, he's too good, probably, that he can't
recall a single moment of his whole life since he actually started to
understand what being attracted to somebody means, that he hasn't thought about
being taken like this, from him.
But he just can't say that, that'd be too much, that'd be embarrassing and
stupid and he's Blaine, of course it's just a game for him, of course he's just
another fuck, of course he's gonna disappear in a couple of days again as he
always does. There's no reason to say anything. He'll be gone in the blink of
an eye and what they're doing right now won't matter anymore, by then.
So he avoids the question, keeping Blaine in as much as he can, letting him
barely free to move to put off the moment he'll pull out as long as he can.
"I... I don't think I'm gonna last much longer," he says, biting at his lower
lip when he feels himself tensing all around Blaine's cock, a warm wave of
pleasure mounting in his underbelly.
"Then come," Blaine whispers in his ear, "Come for me," his lips curling in a
tender smile, "I want to feel how much you liked it, I want to know you'll want
me again, inside of you, just like that."
Blaine's words push some button inside him, something that hasn't got to do
with pleasure alone, something deeper, and Leo tenses for the last time,
arching beautifully on the couch and coming with a suffocated moan, as Blaine
sucks the tender skin of his neck, thrusting inside of him a couple of times
more and then coming hard inside him.
That's when Leo first notices. And Blaine does too, opening his eyes when he
falls down, resting himself on top of Leo's body.
They didn't even use a condom. And, wrong as it is, the moment Blaine came with
no barrier whatsoever between them, something lit inside of them both, some
mysterious spark that, instead of fading away when the sex was over, is still
tingling even now that the air starts to feel suddenly colder on their bare,
sweaty skin, and the silence starts to grow awkward in the perfect calmness of
the night.
Blaine lifts his head and they lock eyes. Leo holds his breath, knowing that
this is the moment. He doesn't know what this moment will bring, but whatever
it is, this is the moment it's decided.
Then Blaine leans in and kisses him softly on his lips, one, two, a hundred
times, and Leo plays along, settling comfortably in his warm embrace. He's
still moving lazily inside of him, every now and then, and even if Leo's
oversensitive and starting to feel a bit of pain again this is the most
pleasant feeling he ever felt in his life.
"Are you cuddling me?" he asks, a tired, almost already sleepy smile blossoming
on his cherry red and puffy lips.
"Just a bit," Blaine answers, smiling against Leo's lips after another sweet
kiss, "I'm finding kind of hard to, you know... let you go, at the moment."
Then he opens his eyes, as if he just realized that Leo's a teenager, after
all, so there's every chance he just finds cuddles stupid and annoying. "Don't
you like it?"
"Mmh, maybe," Leo answers with an enigmatic smile, "But, you know..." he adds,
his cheeks turning red with embarrassment, "I'll have to stand up, eventually.
I mean, I can't sleep here."
"I know," Blaine nods, "But it's early. You don't have to run right away-
- unless you want to, of course."
"It's just..." Leo looks away, nervously scratching his cheek, "My dads are
gonna kill me, if they find out."
The thoughts of Kurt and Karofsky still asleep in the first floor bedroom
crosses Blaine's mind for the first time in what feels like hours. He knows
that, as much as they could be angry at Leo too, if they found out, they'd
never hurt him or kick him out or anything like that. On the contrary, nothing
would save him from their righteous and terrifying wrath. "We don't have to
tell them, you know?" he sighs, "This could just stay between us."
"As if I ever thought about telling them," Leo blinks a couple of times,
looking at Blaine as if he said the most obvious thing ever said by somebody
since humanity moved its first steps on the planet.
"And, if it ever comes out, somehow," Blaine goes on, "You're not going to tell
them I, like, forced you to do something you didn't want to do, are you?
Because that, you see, would be very bad. And if you want to ruin me, there are
less cruel ways."
Leo lets out an amused chuckle, arching an eyebrow at him. "Are you by any
chance scared to death I could tell everyone you raped me?"
"With kids like you, one never knows," Blaine grins, and then kisses him on the
tip of his nose. "Hold your breath, kid," he suggests as he pulls away, his now
soft cock finally slipping out of the kid's body.
"Ouch!" Leo blurts out, making a face, "It's even worse when you pull out...
wait, what did you mean with that? How many kids like me did you do, exactly?"
Blaine laughs, rolling on his side and resting his head on the palm of his
hand, "What's that, jealousy?"
"It's not jealousy," Leo pouts, crossing his arms over his chest, "I just want
to know if you're a serial underager or something."
Blaine laughs again, shaking his head. "I actually am not. I've had a couple of
things with kids your age, but then I was their age too when it happened, so I
guess that doesn't count. You're my first," his smile softens, as well as his
eyes, "As I'm yours."
Leo blushes violently, looking away as he searches for something to say to
change the subject immediately. "So... I guess it's safe to say that I'm at
least bi."
"See?" Blaine chuckles, nodding, "I told you it would be a useful experience,
however it went," he says, leaning in to randomly kiss the kid on his cheek.
"Yeah," Leo nods, giggling, "Grandpa's gonna freak out. You know, he always
thought a kid wasn't a good idea for my dads. He loves me, of course, he's just
old fashioned. So he was okay with them being gay, but a kid... he had issues.
And then it turns out I'm half gay too! He's gonna say it's my dads' fault, for
sure," he giggles again, as if the thought of telling his whole family,
possibly during Thanksgiving or some other festivity that could be easily
ruined by this confession, was the most amusing thing he ever thought about in
his life.
"Let's write a note and then print a hundred posters to glue to every single
door of this house," Blaine nods, "Hello, family. I accidentally found out I'm
bisexual. Thanks you for your cooperation in letting me found an half-naked man
on the couch right when I needed it."
"No, you idiot!" Leo laughs, slapping him on his shoulder, "But eventually, I'm
gonna tell them. I always end up telling everything, anyway, so... but don't
worry," he adds when he notices Blaine's eyes growing bigger and worried,
"You're the only exception, I won't tell about you."
"Thanks," Blaine chuckles, and then stops to look at him for a couple of
seconds. Leo can see there's a question lingering on his parted lips, and he's
curious to hear it, but at the same time he'd happily kiss him right now to not
let him even try and ask it. He doesn't, anyway, and eventually Blaine speaks.
"Can I be the exception again," he asks, "Sometime soon?"
"...I don't know," Leo answers, looking away. They both know Blaine shouldn't
have asked, and at the same time they're both glad he did. "Maybe," he tries
and joke about it, "I have to think about it, you're still the man who tried to
drag me out of a bush after I saw you make out with my father on his wedding
day, you know?"
"I wasn't making out with your father, you stubborn kid!" Blaine laughs, "That
was just a goodbye kiss," he says, leaning in to kiss Leo deeply and slowly, so
passionately Leo's happy he's still lying down, or else he would have needed
something to hang onto not to fall. "...as this will be," Blaine adds, "If you
decide you don't want to try this ever again."
Leo slowly bats his eyelashes, trying to focus again and having a hard time
doing it. "If this is the kind of kiss you gave him, then I totally hate you."
Blaine smiles against his lips, brushing the tip of his nose against the kid's.
"Did anybody ever tell you you're kind of addictive?"
"Here you go, changing subject," Leo chuckles, snuggling closer, "You really
are shameless, aren't you?"
"I'd say I'm good with words," Blaine laughs, "That sounds better. But,
seriously," he looks at him again, "I'm going to be in New York by tomorrow
evening, and after the audition I'm probably just going to go home. So... if
you want to see me again, you'll have to be the one that makes the first step."
"The man asked to the fifteen years old kid who wasn't even allowed to get his
driver's license," Leo answers, casting him a disapproving glare, "Let's just
say that if you see me in Westerville or wherever you warblers live, then it
means that I probably run away from home or I decided to be with you... at
least to use you, 'cause I will be homeless and penniless and it'll be
basically be all your fault, so you'll have to take responsibility."
Blaine laughs again and then sighs, looking at him with that sort of tenderness
Leo's quickly growing fond of. "How am I supposed to leave your smart ass here
all alone?" he asks, and then shakes his head, as if to clear it from dangerous
thoughts, "Now, give me a goodbye kiss like you think a goodbye kiss should be,
and then run to bed. Your bed."
Leo bites at his lower lip, looking at Blaine in silence for a long moment.
Then he kisses Blaine deeply, slowly, savoring the taste of his lips. And deep
inside he knows this whole thing's being too unnecessarily romantic not to hurt
someway when it'll be over. But he can't bring himself to mind. Not right now.
Blaine keeps his eyes closed, dwelling on the strong emotion coming from the
kiss. He answers with the same intensity, actually surprised by how quickly
their level of intimacy escalated in just one night, and parting from Leo only
a few moments later, their wet lips producing a soft smacking sound as they
unlock. "...that was breathtaking," he admits, resting his forehead against
Leo's.
"I..." Leo says, suddenly trying to pull away from Blaine's hug. For a moment,
that was just too much to bear. It was unexpected and awkward and Leo just
wants to go. "I have to go, now," he stands up, gathering his clothes from the
floor and covering himself with them.
Blaine pulls away from him, alarmed by his sudden agitation. "Yes, sure," he
nods, trying to look as calm as he possibly can.
"So... that's it, then," Leo says, hugging his clothes to his chest, "Um,
goodnight, I guess."
Blaine nods slowly, trying to smile to reassure him. "Goodnight."
Leo nods and turns around, moving a couple of steps in the dark. In the deep
silence of the house, his feet make the most unnerving sound tapping against
the cold tiles of the floor. He suddenly turns back to face Blaine, finding him
still sitting on the couch like he left him, with his eyes on him. "Listen," he
starts off, "About what you said while we were... doing it... I mean..."
Blaine clears his throat and then smiles again, this time almost embarrassedly.
"We were having sex, kid," he says, "You say a lot of things when you're having
sex, but they're just... things. Don't worry, I won't make a big deal out of
this."
Leo lowers his eyes and mutters something unintelligible as he turns around
again and runs upstairs.
Because that's exactly the problem, he thinks, hiding in his room and throwing
away all his clothes as he crawls in his bed, hugging himself under the sheets.
It already is a big deal, and he can't help thinking that try and not make one
out of it is only going to make it worse.
to be continued
***** Report Two: Acting Out *****
Blaine considers himself a morning person.
He doesn't wake up at five to clean the house or anything like that, but he is
usually up early enough to spend the morning doing something useful. But after
sleeping at his best friend's house and having sex with said friend's fifteen
years old son, his body has felt the urge of waking him up before everyone else
way earlier than usual. He opened his eyes around six o'clock and it took him a
few minutes to realize why he was looking at a very fancy glass coffee table
instead of the French doors leading to his huge terrace. Then everything else
came to him and the moment after he was standing up. The couch was in no
condition to face its owners again and a guilty conscience made Blaine sure it
bore the sordid story of his and Leo's encounter written all over it.
That's why he has spent the last thirty minutes cleaning up the mess he and the
kid did yesterday night.
Now the couch seems itself again – even though Blaine keeps fluffing pillows
and moving them around to cover images that are only in his head – and he needs
to make himself presentable too. He's usually fine with the stickiness that
comes after sex but he starts to be conscious of it, which means it's really
time for him to hit the shower and start the morning, possibly maintaining his
legendary self-control. With one last hopeful glance at the couch, he leaves
the living room.
Kurt shares Blaine's soft spot for well decorated rooms, except that he
decorates them himself instead of paying some excessively dramatic interior
designer from New York to do the job. His house is a typical terraced house in
the suburbs, but it's way bigger than this kind of houses usually are, and Kurt
has clearly decorated it as if it were a different kind of mansion. Everywhere
you look you can see the compromise between him and Dave's traditional sense of
home, making the place a perfect mix between the typical American house and
some edgy metropolitan apartment.
The bathroom more than any other room is the perfect example of it. Like
Blaine's, it is huge and furnished with black and white Italian marble, and
it's provided both with a bathtub and a shower. But unlike Blaine's, this
bathroom shows all the signs of being used by a family of three people and
despite being indisputably beautiful and tidy, it's far from looking like a
pretty picture in a designer magazine.
There are three toothbrushes of three different colors in the glass, and a big,
pink bucket in the bathtub filled with bath toys for Santana. Near the toilet
there's a pile of sport magazines and one soap dish doesn't match any of the
furniture but has some team's crest on it. It's probably the price Kurt had to
pay to have two separated sinks with one single big mirror. The bathrobes don't
match the rest of the fabrics either. Besides Kurt's, which is white and
Armani's, the other two are pretty silly. Dave's is red and blue with the same
team's crest on it and Leo's – Blaine suddenly wants to die – is bright red and
has the Stark Industries logo on the hood.
That's the last push he needs to enter the shower and bury himself under the
jet of water until his memory is erased or his head falls off.
                                       *
Leo is not a morning person. At all.
When he doesn't have to go to school, the earliest he can wake up for decency –
or because of his fathers – is eleven in the morning, and he still considers
that dawn. So when he opens his eyes, he's very confused by the dim light
outside his window, and the green numbers on his Avengers alarm clock don't
help him in the slightest.
It takes him almost ten minutes to properly realize that he is in fact in a
bed, that he was sleeping and that he is not anymore. And for the most part of
these ten minutes, he doesn't even move. Leo is not only an heavy sleeper, but
he's slow to wake up too. His brain doesn't turn on until way after breakfast
and up to that moment he's barely functional.
But for some reasons, today is worse than usual.
He feels strangely tired, despite the good night sleep. And when he tries to
stretch a little bit, he feels a sudden twinge of pain in his lower back that
makes him curl again under the covers. Too sleepy and confused to remember what
happened last night, the only urge he can recognize and give attention to is
the need to go to the bathroom. Problem is, bed is comfy and warm. Outside it's
cold. His reasoning can't go further than that.
He lies there, balancing the pros and cons of getting out of bed, and if it's
worth crossing the whole house and going downstairs just to pee. Maybe he can
wait a little longer. It would be easier if he could use his parents bathroom,
but that's not possible anymore. Actually, it has never been possible because
Kurt loves that bathroom more than he loves his son and nobody could use it but
him and Dave, but now it's been temporarily transformed into baby Santana's
changing room, and even if there's a toilet bowl, that is not considered a
bathroom anymore.
You ask for a second bathroom for years and they bring you home a little
sister. Leo and his parents have some major communication problem, that's for
sure.
Waiting has given him a few more moments of warmth, but he can't really stay in
bed any longer if he doesn't want to pee himself. He sits up and stares blankly
at the room for the longest time ever. Then, as slowly as he woke up, he slips
out of the covers and winces at the cold. Going down the stairs makes his
soreness suddenly worse and he whines, hating the pee, the house and the world
for no apparent reason.
When he enters the bathroom, he doesn't notice the pile of clothes in a corner
or the steam clouding up the mirror. He doesn't even notice the general warmth
of the room, just taking it like a gift from God and goes straight to the
toilet where even peeing becomes an automatic, non-aware action.
Blaine knew he had forgotten something. He finally finds out what that is when
he comes out of the shower wearing only a towel around his hips and sees Leo.
He is just so used to live alone that locking the door must have not even come
to his mind.
“Oh.” It's the most sensible thing he manages to say.
Leo is startled, he wasn't expecting company in the bathroom. He actually
jumps, peeing outside the bowl. “What? Shit...” He cries out loud. Suddenly his
tiredness, his soreness and the general feeling of sleepiness but vague
satisfaction he has been feeling make sense and have a name. One he is not
willing to acknowledge, anyway. He blushes a little and tries to look tough and
casual as he straightens his clothes. Then, he grabs some toilet paper and
starts cleaning the toilet seat because his father Kurt can be really annoying
on the matter, despite being a man himself. “What the hell are you doing in
here?”
Blaine is still looking at him with his eyes wide open as he instinctively
checks to be properly covered by the towel. “I had to take a shower,” he
answers. “You left me pretty sticky yesterday.”
Leo gives him the perfect death glare. “Yeah, don't tell me.”
The man better not start talking about stickiness. He can feel his own, now
that he's fully awake, and he's not very happy about it. He needs a shower more
than Blaine did.
Blaine can easily read Leo's thoughts on his face. The frowns of total disgust
the kid is making doesn't leave anything to imagination. “How are you feeling?”
He asks, smiling a little.
“What's this?” Leo asks, turning away from him. “The morning after routine
check up on your once virgin underage lover?”
Blaine is a little upset by Leo's reaction. He knows Leo is not the easiest kid
to be dealing with and that he tends to be offish, especially with him. But he
also knows that he attacks when he feels threatened or wronged, even when he
absolutely is not. “Hey,” he comes closer enough to make Leo feel his presence
a bit more but not to invade his personal space. “I ask because I care. Are you
angry with me?”
Le snorts like he doesn't care, but his eyes never meets Blaine's. Every time
they happen to make eye contact, he just look away and tries to be cool about
it, failing. “You don't need to be like this, okay?” He says, washing his hands
and face. “I know what happened yesterday and I'm fine with it. I don't want
you to be all loving with me just because I'm fifteen. Believe me, I don't need
it.”
Last night, Leo was as smart ass as he has always been, but he was confused and
a little vulnerable, and Blaine had forgotten how very irritating he could be.
Now it's the morning after and he's standing there, pretending that what
happened is no big deal at all for him. Blaine could see that this is a lie
even if he didn't know Leo as well as he does. That wall of poorly faked
casualness would look more solid if only Leo could look at him in the eyes.
Blaine sighs. “I never thought of you as a naive kid who didn't understand what
happened between us,” he says, and this is true. Leo was aware of what they
were doing. Blaine made sure of that. “And I’m not being all loving because
you're fifteen but because, as I told you, I care.”
Leo makes the same face he would make seeing his parents smooching in front of
him. “Okay, stop the sappy confession right there. Another word and I'm gonna
barf.”
Blaine ignores him. “I know it hurts,” he insists, making him blush and fidget
in embarrassment. “And I know it can sometimes feel like someone stole
something from you. I don't want you to feel that way and, really, i just want
to know if you feel fine or regret anything.”
He gives him a little smile. He would love to raise a hand and stroke his cheek
but he does not dare. He is not really sure how the kid would react.
Leo's reaction is to scoff, but his eyes still never linger on Blaine for too
long. “Geez... listen, I regret nothing. I never do things that I don't want.
So please, relax,” he says. He raises his right hand, looking amused. “I swear,
I won't accuse you of anything. Of course, I'm sore, but... Y'know, I had your
cock up my ass longer than I thought I would stand it. So, yes, it hurts a bit
but I was kind of expecting that.”
Blaine's a little taken aback. It's not something that happens very often to
him but Leo managed to make it happen. He must admit the kid has a talent for
taking him by surprise. “Whoa. Yes. Okay.” He laughs a bit raising both his
hands as to ask for mercy. “Alright, kiddo. I'm sorry about that. I kind of
lost it a little, I believe. You just felt too good.”
The towel almost falls down because Blaine is not holding it anymore, but he
manages to catch it before it leaves him completely naked. Leo's eyes drop down
immediately, and he blushes.
“Why are you always naked when I see you?” He instantly blurts out in
embarrassment and averts his eyes. “Don't you ever wear clothes?”
“I actually was fully clothed when I arrived. It's just that, as i said, I had
to take a shower. So I had to undress,” Blaine answers, quite obviously. “My
clothes are in the sitting room. I should... probably, well, go and get
dressed.”
He hesitates, though. Leo sees that as he watches him with the corner of his
eyes. “Yes. You should undr... I mean dress. You should definitely dress.”
Blaine nods and takes a step forward towards the door. He thinks he's gonna
walk all the way there but some part of his brain doesn't agree because he just
stops when he's in front of Leo and looks at him. It's a mistake, and he
realizes that when the words come out of his mouth before he even knows he had
thought them. “Can I kiss you?” He asks. It doesn't seem so wrong when he does,
though. He realizes that he has been wanting that all along. And he is always
okay with asking things he wants.
In a perfect scene of a very romantic movie, Leo would just fall into his arms,
pushing his chin up and offering his red cherry perfectly designed lips to him.
But the kid just raises an eyebrow and his lips curl into an amused smile. “Do
you always ask for such things?” He says, mocking him. “Would you please let me
undress you? Excuse me sir, may I take you in my mouth? Or... this one's good.
Would you mind if I take you in this very bathroom right here and now?”
Blaine laughs. The kid's sarcasm is usually annoying, but sometimes it does the
trick. “I only ask when I'm not sure about the answer I could get. And I'm
almost sure that, in this case, I have to ask once more,” he explains calmly.
Leo seems almost content with the answer. If anything, he has always liked the
way Blaine is always willing to explain everything he does instead of
dismissing the questions. The man steps forward and looks straight into Leo'
eyes. “We'll talk about the whole take-you-in-this-very-bathroom thing later.
For now, can I just kiss you?”
Leo nods briefly. His eyes are already half closed as he gives a longing look
at Blaine's lips. He remembers how strange and yet good they have tasted the
night before and he wants desperately to taste them again. It's Blaine who
closes the distance between them and kisses him hungrily from the very start as
he grabs Leo by both his arms to press him against himself. In the movement, he
lets the towel fall down, but none of them care enough to stop kissing.
Leo lets out a surprised moan because he wasn't expecting him to be so
passionate. “Not bad, Anderson” he says in a rough, half-dreamy voice as he
tries to maintain his composure and fails.
“At least you didn't call me Warbler,” Blaine says, smiling against his lips.
It's not even a joke. He has spent all his high school years being called like
that and Leo had taken on the legacy. Him using his actual surname is a big
improvement. No matter how mockingly he's using it.
“I understand this is the situation in which you don't want to be called that,”
Leo says, smiling naughtily as Blaine drags him to the sink just to have
something to lean him on.
“Oh God, that smile,” Blaine whines in pleasure, kissing him again and again.
“It tastes good.”
Part of his brain lets him know that he shouldn't be doing this at all, but
it's a small part and shutting it up is pretty easy as he caresses Leo down his
spine and finds his way just a couple of inches inside his pants, where the
curve of his ass begins.
Somewhere in the past twenty minutes, Leo has just stopped thinking about the
current situation. And the funniest part is that he's well aware of that. He's
not completely oblivious to the fact that if making out with a man twice his
age was a mistake once, it's an even bigger mistake making out with him twice.
But right now, there's nothing Leo wants more than Blaine's hands on his body
where they were the night before, and whatever reasoning has to be done or
whatever stop has to be put to all this, it can wait. He went to bed thinking
that what he felt after his sex with Blaine was a very dangerous path to walk
and that he should not even start to acknowledge it. When he woke up this
morning, the feeling was gone and he was confused but happy. Everything was
fine, and he was just incredibly sore.
It took him a glance to the man and his lips on his own to change it all.
Leo can ascribe this lack of self-control to the fact that he's a teen and live
happy with that. He runs his fingers through Blaine's wet hair, pulling at it a
bit. “You're moving fast this morning,” he says but, unconsciously or not, he
sticks his butt out anyway, trying to make Blaine touch it.
Blaine grins a bit at the whole pulling hair thing. The kid is being daring and
he deserves a prize. Not to mention the fact that he's inviting him to go on,
which means Blaine is not the only one who doesn't want to leave this bathroom
right away. So, he suddenly squeezes Leo's little butt with one hand.
“We can't go all the way, though. You do know that, don't you?” He warns him as
he kisses him again and presses himself against him. “It could be dangerous.”
The frustrated sound Leo makes is amusing but not enough to break the mood.
“Why do you have to say that now?” He asks whining as he rubs himself strongly
against Blaine's erection almost pressed against his inner thigh. “Anyway, you
can't go out like this, either.”
That's undeniably true. “I know,” he whines in frustration. He moves so he can
rub himself better against Leo's crotch and find some relief for both of them.
But it's not enough. Not when his brain has already summoned images of sex they
cannot have right now. It's time to be creative. “God, you are just... turn
around and take off your pants,” he whispers against Leo's ear.
Leo has already reached the point when he doesn't understand anything anymore.
The only thing he wants now is to have sex with Blaine again, no matter the
consequences, the reasoning of the night forgotten. He turns around and fumbles
with the lace of his pajamas pants. But he is too anxious and his fingers just
move uselessly around it, so Blaine has to untie the lace for him. He lets the
pants fall down Leo's legs and pool on the floor between them. Then, he starts
kissing him up his spine, up to his neck, where he sucks and bites at his skin
for a little while as he brushes himself over him just from the outside and
slips a hand between Leo's thighs to stroke him gently.
The feeling is incredibly strong and Leo needs to hold tight to the sink to
bear it. He bends over a little just to feel him better against his skin and
butt as he pushes himself slowly in Blaine's hand. The mental image of the
fingers he feels around his cock is driving him insane, already.
Blaine moans and breaths heavily against Leo's ear as he starts moving a little
faster, both his hips and hand. “This is torture,” he confesses, biting hard on
the kid's naked shoulder. He thought he would have handled it better, but he
was so very wrong. Leo's body under his own feels too good be content just like
this.
“Don't tell me,” Leo says, the words struggle to come out of his mouth. He
thrusts his ass back so insistently that it's really hard for Blaine not to
please him. “Oh God, can you just make it quick?”
Blaine thinks that this kid has no idea what he's doing to him. And if he does
have it, then he's got no mercy whatsoever. Blaine is trying to be responsible
at least the morning after, since he wasn't the night before, but Leo is making
it hard for him to even think straight, let alone resist to the need of having
him again. “I'm trying!” He informs him.
Blaine closes his fist firmly around Leo's cock and strokes him harder as he
tries to move his hips even faster, even though he was already moving them as
fast as he could. No matter how much he presses against Leo's body, no matter
how easily and hard he slips between his buttocks, this is not enough and it
looks like it will never be. The pleasure he knows he could feel with him now
stays out of reach and this is frustrating.
“God, I'm dying to be inside of you,” he admits, not even caring if this is
right or wrong anymore as he kisses him down his neck.
“I don't even understand why you're not.” Leo moans shamelessly. If there was
an embarrassed version of himself, he is certainly gone for the time being.
Blaine sucks Leo's earlobe inside his mouth, trying to distract himself by the
temptation of Leo's opening. He hesitates just a bit, brushing it lightly with
the tip of his cock. The effort of staying out of him makes the muscle of his
arm tense. His whole body tenses and shivers.
Leo feels him lingering and whines in frustration. He rests his head against
his own arm and sighs. “I bet you wouldn't hurt me that much,” he says,
completely oblivious to the weight this invitation has on Blaine.
Being the adult man, Blaine should resist. He should insist on this being a bad
idea and explain to him how painful could it be to him, that they can't misuse
his body on his second time in just a few hours.
But he doesn't.
“You're crazy,” he breaths out in a long, much louder moan as he pushes inside
him for just a couple of inches, holding him firmly by his hips to keep him
steady. “And I'm too. God, you're hot as hell.”
Leo finds out that it actually hurts more than he was expecting. Actually, it
hurts when he had thought it wouldn't. Some scumbag part of his brain had made
him believe the second time couldn't be as bad as the first when he had had the
feeling to be torn apart. But it does. He is sore and his soreness makes him
more sensitive, which means that Blaine's cock up his ass now feels sensibly
more challenging to bear. “Shit...” he hisses breathless through grinding
teeth. His grip tightens around the sink.
“I'm sorry,” Blaine says apologetically. He tries not to thrust too much but
he's kind of desperate to fuck him already, so he's not being very good at
standing still. He's lost in this kid, but not enough to ignore that his desire
is not a reason to keep going if he's hurting him. And it looks like he is. “Do
I have to come out?” He asks, crying inside. He kisses him tenderly on his
shoulder. “Please, tell me I don't.”
“Don't you dare!” Leo's reaction is violent and he would glare at him if
turning around wouldn't send him strikes of pain through his spine every time
he does. “Just move. It's an agony if you stand fucking still.”
Blaine laughs breathlessly at the anger Leo is able to put in everything he
says, even during sex. He does what the kid asks and just moves kind of fast.
“God yes,” he repeats over and over as he goes back stroking him right away to
help him relax and enjoy this too.
                                       *
Waking up is a slow process for Dave. Even when the sleep is gone, it takes him
a few more minutes to really open his eyes. During this time he yawns and
stretches out on the bed, not really caring if he ends up hitting Kurt in the
process.
Luckily for him, at this time of the day and after an almost sleepless night
tending to a crying baby, Kurt is in no mood to pout or go all drama queen on
him. He just moans something that might or might not be a bad word and turns on
his side, kicking him in the shins.
“I didn't do that on purpose, you know?” Dave snorts, his voice still thick
with sleep.
Kurt smiles with his eyes still closed. “Neither did I.”
“You are impossible.”
Dave laughs and finally decides he can take a risk and look at what the new day
has brought. It doesn't come much light through the shutters, so it must be
early in the morning. He could stay in bed a little more, but he knows from
experience that once you go back to sleep, next time you wake up is already
afternoon and with a baby in the house you can't afford to oversleep. So, he
stretches out a bit more before suddenly jumping out of the bed and making the
mattress move awkwardly. “Alright, I gotta pee.”
Kurt is forced to open his eyes and hang on for dear life when the whole bed
moves under him. “Hey!”
Dave has no time to listen to his protests, especially since now that he has to
go downstairs to use the bathroom. Walking towards the door he passes by
Santana's cradle and notices that the baby has got her eyes wide open and she's
smiling funnily, looking at the toy bees hovering over her head. “Oh, look
who's already awake,” he says softly, catching his daughter's attention. “Kurt,
take the baby while I go to the bathroom.”
Kurt groans and rolls on his stomach, hiding his head under his pillow for a
moment. “Why did we choose a morning baby? Couldn't she be lazy like me too?”
Kurt is not used to change diapers before ten o'clock in the morning or to stay
awake till late at night because Leo was the easiest baby on Earth. When they
brought him home he was a newborn and he would sleep already all night through.
Actually, he would wake up once or twice to eat but Kurt doesn't know that
because he would never hear him crying and Dave would take care of him. But,
all in all, Leo was a very quiet baby. At least until he learned to talk.
Tana is another matter. She took everything she could after her biological
mother, Santana. She has her black hair, her caramel skin and Dave could swear
he can hear the omen of a future screaming diva in the way the baby wiles. When
she screams so loud that she could tear your ears off, Kurt almost regrets the
surrogate they chose.
Dave had the idea as soon as they decided to have another baby.
Kurt wanted to adopt again, but the procedure was too long and, according to
Dave, they had already waited too much. Dave had been working as an high school
coach for more than ten years and he could take a paternity leave without any
consequences, and Leo was a teen, they could both help with the baby without
Kurt having to put his career on hold again. It was the perfect moment. They
had just to find the perfect mother.
They had gone through countless file to find her, but Kurt was never happy.
She had to be cute, with a sense of style, young but not too young – he had
enough young women for one lifetime after Leo's teen pregnant mother – and
possibly with a talent for art and music, all of these things at the same time,
which apparently made her impossible to find.
Then, after six months of uselessly going through an infinite number of
internet pages on the surrogacy agency's site, Santana literally rang their
doorbell and that was when Dave's got the idea. Obviously it took almost
another couple of months to figure everything out but, surprisingly enough,
Santana was instantly okay with that, more than Kurt was actually.
She loved Dave to the point that she would have killed for him and, in her own
words, if there was a chance she was ever going to have a baby, then it was for
Dave. Plus, she couldn't wait for the after-pregnancy when she was going to
show to her many woman relatives that you could get back into shape right after
having a baby and that they were just a bunch of whiny bitches. Kurt was not
sure that this “nah nah nah” attitude on her part was the best way to live his
second child pregnancy but Dave was on cloud nine and Kurt was really tired to
look at photos of stranger women all day.
Besides, he couldn't deny Santana was gorgeous, young enough, stylish and she
had a hell of a voice.
The result is the cutest baby girl alive who coos happily when she sees her
father. “Hi there, little princess,” Kurt says. “It's early, you know? You
could sleep a little longer. You must be so sleepy!”
Tana coos some more and makes bubbles through her little chubby lips, but she
doesn't seem sleepy at all. She looks at her newly found hands with round, big
brown eyes.
“Don't you wanna try and sleep some more?” Kurt tries again. When she starts
giving signs of annoyance, he picks her up, so she won't cry. “Oh, yes. You do.
You want to sleep some more with daddy in daddy's bed, don't you? Yes.”
Dave smiles tenderly watching Kurt speak in a silly voice as he brings her to
their bed. She seems pretty lively, so good luck with making her sleep again.
Dave already knows she will just start crawling around the bed, forcing Kurt to
follow her but he doesn't say anything. Kurt will realize that soon enough.
Instead, he leaves the room and goes downstairs, being the general image of
happiness.
Actually, he is so happy that he even takes his time to enjoy the beauty of his
home, a home where Blaine can't seem to be found anywhere. It's like a dream
come true.
He is so happy that he doesn't even wonder where Blaine could be. It doesn't
even cross his mind that if Blaine's not in the living room, there's a great
chance that he will be in the very bathroom Dave needs. Right now in Dave's
mind everything is perfect. His husband with their new baby girl sleeping in
one room, his teenage son in the other, the sun outside and no annoying,
ridiculously handsome husband's ex-boyfriends anywhere.
He is so happy that when he opens the bathroom's door whistling the same tune
Kurt is humming to Tana upstairs, his jaw drops and somewhere the little blue
birds that were singing in his perfect world die, leaving him in the darkness
of the worst nightmare that he wasn't even aware he could conceive.
For a moment, what Dave is looking at makes no sense at all. His son is
grinding the sink and moaning in a way a father should never hear his own son
moaning, especially if he's been molested by a man twenty years older than him.
The scene is frozen and the air itself stands still , so the sounds coming out
of their mouth, louder and clearer than anything else to Dave's sense, just
make the scene more surreal.
Then, Dave meets Leo's eyes in the mirror and everything starts moving again
twice as faster.
“Shit.” The kid instantly tenses and starts to fidget awkwardly, possibly
trying to get Blaine off himself and failing, 'cause the man is still caught in
it. “Blaine!”
That's when Blaine notices Dave too and he turns so pale that it's like if all
his blood has gone even southern than it was before, sliding out of him through
is feet and vanishing into thin air. “Fuck,” he hisses as he instantly pulls
away from Leo and searches for a towel to cover himself.
“You... Leo?”
Dave is still too shocked to actually do something. So, he just stands there,
looking at his son and waiting for an explanation that it's already late. But
his hands are visibly shaking, a clear sign that he's seconds away to just
explode.
Leo quickly puts his pants back up, looking positively terrified by his
father's sudden presence in the bathroom. “D-dad. Now, calm down. Everything's
fine. I...I can explain, I guess.” He keeps blabbering, showing his hands as if
Dave were a wild animal and they needed not to frighten him. “Please, don't be
mad.”
But Dave is already behind madness. Right now he's in that mental state where
his only son has been touched by a man he was already hating with a passion and
whom now he feels legitimate to kill. He loses it completely and just launches
himself on Blaine.
“You perverted son of a bitch!”
“Oh God.”
The man starts running. Dave can't believe that piece of shit doesn't even have
enough honor left to take it like a man and die by the hand of his victim's
father as he should. Instead, he runs around the bathroom screaming like a
monkey as he tries to avoid Dave's vengeful blows.
“Shit!” Leo tries to grab his father when he passes him by right after Blaine
but the fabric of his father's pajamas slips through his fingers. “Dad, stop!
What the fuck are you doing?”
The bathroom is big enough to let the two men run easily around in circle but
Blaine's flight is so desperate and Dave is such a big man than they keep slam
against the furniture and throw things on the ground, both screaming louder and
louder by the minute. The result is a mess of shouts and crashing sounds that
reaches Kurt upstairs, making him wonder what his husband is doing.
Dave is seriously about to commit a crime. His brain doesn't really process
what's happening and what would be the consequences of killing Blaine in cold
blood. The only thing he knows is that the man did the worst thing a man can
do, and that he did it to his son. Nothing else matters right now.
“Stop, you old pervert!” He screams, trying to grab Blaine, who somehow manages
to never get caught. “Just lemme get my hands on you, you coward!”
Blaine runs past Leo again, wearing only a towel that dangerously hangs from
his slim hips and doesn't look like it's gonna hold on to them for long. “Stop
him, kid!” He begs Leo. “He's fucking going to kill me!”
Leo looks as desperate as Blaine does, except that he's not fearing for his own
life, which gives him some sort of advantage. “I'm trying!” He screams
hysterically. This time, he manages to grab his father's shirt when he passes
him by and he holds on to it, stopping his father from throwing himself at
Blaine's throat.
“Dad, calm down! Please, can we just talk for a moment before killing each
other?”
Dave tries to get free from his son's grip but Leo grabs his shirt with both
hands and he uses all his scarce weight to keep his father from moving. Dave
growls like a caged animal, his hands stretched towards Blaine in a feral
attempt of clawing his eyes out. “What do you mean talk? There's no need to
talk,” he barks, spitting saliva all over Blaine's face, his teeth exposed and
snapping just a few inches away from his neck. Blaine crumples in a corner.
“This fucking old pervert was-- I can't even say it! God, I'm gonna barf.”
Blaine tries to catch his breath, his heart racing like crazy. He looks
terrified but there's still some sort of dignity in the way his eyes look
straight at Dave, who keeps hissing and cursing at him. Leo holds him even
tighter, afraid that if he lets him go even for a moment, there won't be enough
Blaine left to save.
“He is not a pervert, dad.” He says, as if a statement on his part could fix
anything. “Really, he did nothing wrong.”
“Nothing wrong?” Dave barks, so loud that both Leo and Blaine cringe. The whole
bathroom seems to shake under his roaring. “You don't know what you're talking
about!”
Leo knows exactly what is talking about, but he is not allowed to explain it
because the situation manages to get even worse when he had thought this wasn't
even possible anymore. Kurt has finally sensed that something was wrong and
that all that noise coming from downstairs wasn't normal, so he has decided to
check.
“Dave?” He calls, showing up on the bathroom's doorway. “Is something wrong? I
keep hearing noise.”
Dave instantly turns to him, happy to have both an ally in him and finally a
good reason to accuse Blaine of something not even Kurt can't deny. “He!” He
shouts, pointing his finger at Blaine. “He had his dick shoved up our son's ass
against my sink in my bathroom!”
The harshness in his tone makes suddenly unclear if he's more upset about the
act itself or the fact that it took place on his property.
Kurt's eyes widen at the news which doesn't make any sense to him at all. “W-
what? Dave, what are you talking about?” He stutters, holding Santana to his
chest. Then he bothers to look at what his husband is pointing at him and
notices Blaine naked in a corner who tries to cover himself as much as he can.
“What... what's happening here?”
“I'll tell you what's happening here!” Dave shouts again. But he lowers his
voice when Santana's face crumples in fear, forcing himself to speak in a sort
of hushed hiss. “I came in to pee and that asshole was fucking our boy. That's
what happened!”
Blaine raises a finger. “Can I--?”
Dave turns on him a couple of red hellish eyes. “You shut the fuck up, you
pervert! Or I swear to God I'll kill you!”
Kurt's mind is still processing the information, his eyes watching the scene
without really seeing what's in front of him, not believing what Dave is
telling him. "He was doing what?" He murmurs. Then, like in a haze, he turns to
his son. "Oh my God. Leo, are you okay?" There's so much shock in his voice
that even Blaine averts his eyes.
"Finally someone who asks me!" Leo exclaims, raising one arm. He doesn't dare
to let go of his father. Dave's fingers are still flexing and his whole body
seems ready to jump on Blaine any second. "Yes! Yes, I am fine. Can we stop
this madness now?"
Kurt's interest in him stops the moment he's sure his son is not in immediate
need of help. He turns to Blaine with the eyes of Death. "You! Blaine, look at
me!" He orders.
Blaine sighs, both his hands on his crotch as he tries to stand tall. “I am so
sorry you found us like that,” he says, happy at least to be able to talk
properly for the first time in the last few minutes. “I never meant for things
to go this way. But we weren't doing anything bad, and--”
“Now let me stick my fist up your ass and then we'll talk about how bad was
what you were doing to my son!” Dave launches himself on him again and Blaine
quickly moves aside. Leo hardly manages to keep his father from reaching out
and grab him this time.
Instead, Kurt makes no move to stop Dave. “You weren't... God, are you even
listening to yourself?” He hisses, his voice as cold as ice. “He's fifteen,
Blaine! How can you even think that putting your hands on him was nothing
wrong?”
Blaine sighs again, averting his eyes again. Somehow, Kurt's cold anger is
scarier than Dave's threat. “I know I shouldn't have and that all this must be
really upsetting for you,” he agrees. “But I swear I didn't force myself on him
in any way.”
“Oh, now I feel better! Don't you feel better too, Kurt?” Dave says,
sarcastically. He looks at Blaine with utter disgust. “You are scum, Anderson.
You always were and you always will be. Leo, walk away from him.”
If Dave was expecting Leo to obey instantly, he was wrong. Instead, his son
frowns and looks at him and Kurt with scolding eyes. “I don't walk anywhere
until someone listens to me,” he says, speaking right when Blaine wisely
decides to keep quiet to not make the situation worse.
Dave lets out a frustrated sound and turns to his son, pulling enough to
roughly free himself. “Fine,” he finally says, raising both his hands in
surrender. “What could you possibly have to say, Leo? He took advantage of you
and your age! I can't even imagine how could he have talked you into this, and
maybe now you think God only knows what!”
The patronizing tone in his father's voice makes Leo frown. If he wanted to
deal calmly with this whole mess before, now he just wants to scream at his
parents. “I don't know what you think I'm thinking, but I'm pretty sure I'm
not,” he says annoyed. Then he points at Blaine like everyone else seems to be
doing for one reason or another. “He can be an asshole...well, he actually is
most of the time, but he didn't...” he makes very dramatic quotation marks with
his fingers in the air, “steal anything from me or whatever you say in such
cases.”
For the longest moment ever, Dave just stands there. He opens and closes his
mouth, not knowing what to say. He doesn't even know if he really heard what he
has just heard, or if his worst nightmare is just taking shape in front of his
eyes. And then, as if his brain had reached the boiling point, he just
explodes. His voice is so loud that Santana hides her face in Kurt's chest
again.
“You brainwashed him!” He shouts at Blaine. Then he turns to his husband, still
pointing an accusing finger to the naked man in the corner. “He brainwashed our
son!”
Kurt's cold anger is quickly turning into desperation, judging by the tears
forming in his eyes right now. The way he's looking at Blaine could break
hearts. “How could you do this to my son? To me!” He says, his voice breaking
as he tries to make the massive weight of their lifelong friendship and old
love story fall on Blaine's shoulders.
A few feet away, Leo wonders if anybody in this damn bathroom is even listening
to him.
Blaine just sighs. He had somehow forgotten how overly theatrical Kurt could
be, especially when it's not appropriate at all., even when it's not at all
appropriate to be. “I—Kurt, God, I didn't do anything to you, and I didn't make
Leo believe anything,” he says. Now that he doesn't have to run around and he
has enough breath to actually speak properly, he seems to have gone back to his
usual way of speaking. He doesn't even look so terrified now that Dave is just
verbally attacking him. “He believed exactly what he wanted to believe. And no,
David, I didn't brainwash him. Actually, I'm serious about him, too.”
“Wait, you're what?” Leo makes a face.
Blaine coughs. He brings one hand to his mouth before he remembers that he
needs two to cover himself. “I don't think this is the right time to talk about
this, kid.”
“There isn't a right time, goddammit!” Dave explodes again. It seems like
there's no end to his rage, right now. He will probably keep on screaming for
weeks. He grabs his son by his arm and drags him towards the bathroom door. He
even pushes him a little to get him out of the room. “Now, go to your room.”
Leo frowns and stays right where he is, one step out of the bathroom. “What?
No! Why?”
“I tell you why. Because you need to be as far away as possible from that
monster!” Dave answers, standing right between the two of them, determined to
protect his son from Blaine's prowling hands with his huge body. “Actually,
it's better if you lock yourself in. Go!”
Leo scoffs in that annoying way that, if his parents had had the habit to hit
him when he misbehaved, it would have granted him a great deal of slaps. “Lock
myself in?” He asks, sarcastically. “What is he? A vampire? What if he can pass
through walls? Will I be truly safe in there?”
Dave might not want to hit him, but he's angry enough to get really mad at him
too for his disobedience. "Don't you dare answer me back, Leonard," he says.
“But it's me you're discussing about here,” Leo insists, trying for the last
time to be reasonable. “I think it is my right to stay and... and at least—”
Dave doesn't even let him finish. Irritated, angry and way more scared that he
cares to admit, he just want to get over with this madness. Possibly reporting
Blaine to the authorities. "I'm your father, and I'm telling you to fucking go
to your room!” He barks. “You're going to do as I say, are we clear?"
“There's no reason to treat him like that,” Blaine says, bitterly.
Dave just shivers at the surprised but nonetheless grateful look Leo gives the
man. This is exactly what shouldn't be happening and it manages to make him
even angrier than he already was a moment before. “Leonard, I don't want to
repeat myself.”
Leo doesn't move, staring straight into his father's eyes, openly challenging
him.
Blaine sighs heavily. Rarely it has happened to him to be caught red-handed but
it was never so dramatic. He should have known that everything changes if a
teenager is involved. “Kurt?” He calls his friend, searching for his eyes.
“Don't talk to me.” Kurt's order is stern and really cold. He doesn't even turn
to speak to him. His eyes are staring at nothing, not even his husband.
Suddenly, he looks really tired and really sad. “David, let's move from the
bathroom and into the sitting room. We need to talk and this is not the proper
place. Leo, you will go to your room like your father said.”
“But dad--”
“You will go to your room until your father and I will have this figured it out
with Blaine,” Kurt repeats calmly, holding one hand up to stop him from
complaining “Then, you will join us and we will hear your side of the story as
well.”
Figuring everything out assumes a new kind of meaning now and Blaine swallows
hard, tensing his arms and closing his fists. He has no idea how to explain
what happened yet, but he tries not to look too scared when he turns to Leo and
sees the kid's searching for his eyes. He smiles at him, reassuringly. “I'll
see you in a couple of minutes.”
Leo nods and moves to go upstairs, after one gentle nudge of Kurt's hand.
                                       *
“I hope you have a good explanation, Blaine, because right now I'm more
inclined to let Dave beat you up to death than call the police.” Kurt is
sitting on the couch. The very same couch that has indirectly brought them all
here in the sitting room, and Blaine is struggling not to make any face.
Luckily, they have allowed him to dress up. Actually, when he asked if he could
put something on before they pilloried him, Dave told him that he had to and
gave him two minutes by the clock to do so.
Left alone in the bathroom, Blaine has quickly dressed up with whatever he had
on before entering the shower and started scolding himself because of course he
had to have the boy. He couldn't restrain himself for his fucking life. Mad at
himself, at the world and partially at teenage boys who look too delicious to
be left alone, he has looked himself in the mirror and given himself a very
scolding look as he told himself to be sure to pick up a kid whose parent he
didn't know next time. Or at least to avoid sleeping under their room at the
same time!
“Fuck me,” Blaine thinks as he has just done in front of the bathroom's mirror
just a few minutes ago. Then he clears his throat to answer Kurt, who still
looks the more reasonable despite his coldness. “Both your options seem a
little bit too much to me. Why don't we just talk about it, possibly without
your husband threatening my life?”
“We can talk,” Dave growls, coming back after giving baby Santana her morning
bottle and putting her in the playpen. “But me stop threatening you? No fucking
way. Just to be clear, you're given the chance to explain yourself before we
call the police, nothing more. That's a favor Kurt's doing to you in the name
of your so called friendship. Don't think, not even for one minute, that we
will let you go away with this.”
“That's not very comforting,” Blaine snorts.
“I don't want you comforted,” Dave says, casually. “Now sit the fuck down and
awe us with one of your sick explanations. I really wanna see you clutching at
straws before I make the call.”
Blaine looks at Kurt for some kind of support – not that he expects any from
him, but at least he knows he can reason with him. Unfortunately Kurt is
staring so angrily at him that he could set him on fire, which doesn't help him
much.
“I feel like I did when I was a little kid and my father was about to scold
me,” he says frowning, but he sits down as he's been ordered to. “I must tell
you that I do not like this feeling at all, and moreover I don't feel like I
deserve this treatment. So, from now on keep in mind that I'm a free man and
it's my right to just invite both of you to go fuck yourselves while I go away,
if I find it more suitable for me.”
Blaine is aware that this is not exactly true. If Dave really called the
police, he would have an hard time explaining everything to them. After all,
Leo is still widely underage and no matter how much the kid would swear nobody
raped him or whatever – as Blaine is sure Leo would – nobody would believe him
completely, and Blaine would be in a lot of troubles. But despite all this, he
doesn't want to give Kurt and Dave the impression of being scared because that
would mean he is guilty, which he's absolutely not.
They are upset about what happened and rightly so – Blaine doesn't blame them
for feeling like this after the shocking discovery that their teenage boy has a
sexual drive that he feels the need to satisfy, despite his parents still
treating him like a three years old – but he won't play the part of the monster
just because he looks so to their eyes and they expect him to break down and
confess a terrible crime that he didn't commit at all.
“You were a free man until you put your dirty hands on my son,” Dave points
out. “So you keep in mind that when I decide I have heard enough from you, I
will call the police because I fucking can and because Leonard is fucking
fifteen, which means you are in a lot of fucking trouble.”
Blaine sighs heavily. He feels like that's all he's been doing in the past
hour. “I'm telling you once again, I didn't do anything Leo didn't want me to
do. We felt good together, and we did nothing wrong,” he repeats, ignoring
their cringing faces. “I promise, it wasn't an irrelevant thing, if this is
what you're worried about. I give it all the importance it deserves. After all,
weren't you minors too when you had sex for the first time?”
“We were both minors when we had sex for the first time, Blaine!” Kurt
exclaims, in a high-pitched unbelieving voice. “You're thirty-five!”
“And is that a crime?”
“Yes!” Kurt cries out again. “Yes, Blaine, it is when Leo is just a kid and you
took advantage of him.”
Blaine snorts, annoyed. “Oh please, Kurt. I've never took advantage of anybody
in my entire life, and you know that. You know how honest I am. I would
never...” he sighs, passing both his hands over his face for a moment. “God, do
you even know me anymore? I've done everything right. I always asked Leo if
what I was doing was alright for him. I didn't force myself on him! Nor I tried
to convince him to have sex with me in some wicked way! You have to believe
me.”
Dave's face stays the same cold mix of disgust and hate that it has been since
he entered the bathroom. “A honest man would never touch a kid Leo's age,” he
states, and Kurt painfully nods next to him.
Kurt looks at Blaine with sad-filled eyes, as if hating him like he's doing now
pained him as well. Blaine doesn't really know if Kurt feels really sad or he's
just playing the part of the betrayed friend which, indeed, would involve some
strange kind of sad hate.
“I don't know what came into your mind, but you really can't expect me to
believe that when you asked him and he said yes, Leo knew exactly what was
happening or that he wasn't feeling your pressure,” Kurt says, resting both his
hands on his lap. “Tell me that he just didn't fall, as the fifteen years old
he is, for your way of pushing him a bit.” Kurt seems to know exactly how
Blaine works. The memories of a time when Blaine would try and try and try to
convince him instead of his son didn't get lost.
“I didn't push him like you think I did,” Blaine insists, in a very serious
tone. “I may have been a little teasing, but I like Leonard. I really do. He is
a smart, beautiful and funny kid, who's not, in any way, as surrendering as you
imagine him to be.”
“But he is a kid nonetheless,” Dave cuts in. “And that's the key word,
Anderson.”
“Oh, come on” Blaine rolls his eyes. “We're not talking about a six years old
or a ten years old child, here. Leonard is fifteen! You're not old enough to
have forgotten that you can actually think on your own and take your own
decisions when you're that age!”
“This doesn't mean he can decide for the best,” Kurt illustrates. Then he makes
that kind of sighs that proceeds a very awkward question. “How did it go,
exactly?”
Incredulity doesn't even begin to describe the expression on Blaine's face
after that question. How in the world a father could possibly bring himself to
ask to his son's lover – especially if allegedly considered some sort of rapist
– something like that? “Excuse me?” Blaine mutters. “You don't expect me to
tell you how I slept with your son, do you?”
Kurt turns suddenly a bright shade of pink when he understands what his
question sounded like. “No, you idiot!” He cries out harshly, more embarrassed
with himself than angry at him actually. “I expect you to explain me how you
two ended up in my bathroom and how can you possibly say that your encounter is
not so disgusting as it actually appears. That's what I expect from you.”
“Oh,” Blaine says in sudden realization. He clears his throat while a
metaphoric hell mouth open under his feet, ready to swallow him alive as soon
as Kurt and Dave will know the complete truth. “I get it, now. You still don't
know that this morning in the bathroom wasn't exactly... a first.”
Kurt doesn't say a word. He doesn't even move. Part of his brain got it
already, the rest of it is busy pretending that it didn't. But the void stare
in his eyes says that it's failing. Dave, however, is not as quick as his
husband.
“What are you talking about?”
Blaine coughs nervously. He has the feeling that whatever he's going to say and
no matter how he is going to say it, it will sound suddenly very bad. “We
actually... Well, Leo came home late, yesterday night. I happened to be still
awake and we kind of talked a lot about how he was feeling about me, and about
me and the two of you. He's still pretty angry about the whole wedding thing,
you know? Which is quiet silly, if you ask me,” he says, scratching the back of
his neck as he tries to act casual and fails. “Then the fact that he sometimes
likes male bodies came up so we... we agreed that he could try and kiss a man,
just to find out how he felt about it. One thing led to another and...”
“You both agreed or you just decided on your own?” Kurt's voice explodes out of
his throat like he was struggling hard to keep it inside and couldn't hold it
anymore. His whole body is somehow shaking. “What the hell is in your head,
Blaine?”
“I'm gonna kill him,” Dave announces, simply. His is the hard face of a man who
understands that, as drastic as it is, there's nothing else to do anymore.
“I don't see why not,” Kurt agrees, looking straight into Blaine's eyes.
“I said we and I mean it, Goddammit! I didn't touch him until he gave me his
permission!” Blaine snaps, irritated. If there's something he hates more than
being accused of something he didn't do, it's being asked to explain and then
not being listened to. “God, right now you seem so deaf to me, I tell you. Now
I understand how Leonard feels, and why he felt the need to share his thoughts
with me, an almost complete stranger instead of his own parents!”
“Of course he gave you permission!” Dave barks. “You were giving him sex and
he's fucking fifteen, for God's sake!”
Kurt looks worried. Just for one moment, he closes his eyes and puts aside what
happened between Blaine and his son, and focus on something that Blaine has
just said. “What are you talking about, Blaine? Leo knows that he can always
talk to us. We've always been ready to listen to him if he had a problem.”
“Well, maybe he didn't feel like that about you,” Blaine replies, sharply. “I'm
not going to talk about what he said to me because that's private and
confidential, but don't assume you know all about your kid, about how his brain
and body work, because you probably don't know.”
For a moment, nobody talks. Kurt is too upset about what Blaine has just said
and Dave has never been too good with feelings and all that stuff. He's the dad
who teaches Leo how to play football. There was a tacit agreement between him
and Kurt that love, romance and sexuality was going to be Kurt's problems.
Clearly Leo was ready to face those issues way before they were.
When the silence becomes too uncomfortable, Blaine takes a deep breath.
“Yesterday night happened because Leo wanted it as much as I did,” he explains.
“If you don't like that, then it's your problem because we both were nothing
but happy and satisfied before you destroyed everything.”
“Oh, I bet you were,” Dave growls as he stands up and starts walking nervously
around the room like a caged animal. He really wants to punch that man in the
face, and the best he can do to avoid doing so is releasing all his pent up
anger with some sort of exercise. No matter how this thing ends, he is going
for a two hours work out. “I can't stand it, Kurt. I don't believe him and I
don't want him anywhere near Leo or this house anymore.”
Kurt sighs. “Blaine, I really don't know what to do,” he confesses.
Now that the initial anger has somehow subsided, it has left room to sadness
and a strong, scaring concern for Leo's well-being that give him mixed feelings
about calling the police. He knows he should, but Blaine is not a stranger and
you need to be really sure to ruin a man with such an accusation.
“Well, you could start by calling back your son and ask him what he thinks,
since that's what really matters anyway,” Blaine suggests with a sigh of his
own.
There is no time to decide whether calling Leo is a good idea or not because
he's already there, leaning on the door frame. “I'm here,” he says in an
undertone, his eyes looking for Kurt's, the most indulgent of his fathers. “Can
I speak now?”
Hearing his voice, Blaine immediately looks at Leo as if to remind himself why
on Earth he is accepting to tolerate what he had to go through in the last
minutes. The kid's sad face and downcast eyes seem two good enough reasons to
bear with Kurt and Dave, at least until the problem is solved.
“Didn't I tell you to go to your room?” Dave frowns.
“Yes, I know,” he answers, lifting one hand as to tame his father. “And I'm
sorry, but I couldn't stay in my room when you probably were giving him all the
fault.”
“Because it is his fault!” Dave thunders, startling him. “Don't you understand?
He just used how he looks and how he talks and how experienced he is to take
advantage of you! It's so obvious!”
Since nobody really sent him away, Leo dares to take a step inside the room
where everyone else is. “But he didn't take advantage of me at all!” He says
for the umpteenth time. “He just offered and I wanted to try,” he adds, and
then proceeds to blush madly.
“He offered? He offered?!” Dave looks so threatening as he walks towards him
that Leo takes a step back and ends up in the hall again. “So he showed himself
off!”
“No!” Leo instantly shakes his head. “I mean, maybe a little... but only after
I said that I could be interested in guys too. We were talking, and I knew he
was gay. So I thought that with him I could at least see what it was like to
kiss another guy.”
Dave thinks that if he looks half as shocked as he feels, he must be very funny
to look at, which indeed he is. His eyes are too open in astonishment, his face
is red because he screamed so much and the vein on his temple is pulsing as if
his head was about to explode. “I don't even know what...” he mutters,
unbelieving. “Who told you you can just try and kiss a guy to see if you're gay
or not? So now you've kissed Blaine, and as far as we know you did even more.
Does this make you gay in any way?”
“Nobody told me, dad. It was some kind of test, I guess.” Leo shrugs. There's
nothing to say about it, really. But he knows his parents won't get it because
none of them has ever had the same problem or the same ways of dealing with it
as he does. Kurt has always known he was gay and Dave was so scared that he
almost punched Kurt in the face for that. One didn't need to prove to himself
that he indeed liked men and the other wasn't even willing to make out with
one. How they are supposed to understand that Blaine was a way to play safe
while understanding shit? “I just thought that if I liked it then there was a
good chance that I might be gay. If I didn't like it at all, then I was
probably wrong. Is this so stupid?”
“No, Leo. It's not,” Kurt hurries to say. He casts a worried glance to Dave,
who's too focus on the matter at hand to notice, though.
“I don't know what to say, really.” Dave lets his arms fall and shrugs,
resigned. “So what, now? You... and him, what...?”
Blaine tenses, his eyes glued to Leo's slim figure. The kid looks even younger
in his confusion. “I don't know. That was what it was,” Leo says. He looks over
at Blaine for a moment, but he averts his eyes almost instantly when he sees
that the man is looking at him. “... I guess.”
Dave's features seems to relax at this. “So you just tried him and you don't
plan to see him anymore?” He asks again. “Cos I would agree on that.”
Blaine tenses even more. He can't really say anything at the moment. It's not
his place at all. He just thinks it's not fair that this whole argument must
take place in front of Leo's parents when he and Leo never had the chance to
talk it through. He doesn't know if they are or will ever be an item – God, he
didn't even think about it! – yet, he and Leo should be discussing it, not
them. No matter how old the kid is.
Then Leo speaks, and Blaine's heart starts beating faster. “I didn't say that.”
It's a sense of relief which doesn't make any sense to him, though.
“Then what are you saying?” Dave snaps, irritated. “Speak loud and clear for
once, kid, since it seems your father and I have no idea of what's going on in
your mind!”
“Dave...” Kurt sighs, resting a hand on his husband's arm to try and calm him
down.
Feeling attacked, Leo predictably clams up. Even his body shows the signs of
his closure as he crosses his arms over his chest. “I don't know!” He cries out
in frustration. “We had sex? Yes. I wanna have some more? Probably I do. I
enjoyed it. But it's not like I love him or anything. I just like the way
we...”
He stops right there and blushes so furiously that his cheeks are flushed and
they feel hot. He looks away, pretending to be only annoyed by his parents'
insistence, but failing epically. He is embarrassed and more confused than
Blaine had thought he was. There's no point in keeping this conversation up
right now. So he sighs heavily and stands up.
“I don't want to impose my presence on you or Leo any longer. I just need you
to understand that if we want to see each other again,” he says calmly as he
turns to Leo for a moment “then, nothing is going to stop us.”
“Try me, Anderson,” Dave growls, moving one step closer to his husband and son.
The kid looks like he wants to say something, but eventually he doesn't.
“I wouldn't dare, Dave,” Blaine says as he walks to the coat rack at the
entrance and retrieves his long black coat. “You're his father and you're
worried, I understand. That's your right and duty. But I'm not a bad man and I
don't want to hurt your son. If he'll ever give me the chance, I'll love to
know him better.”
“You already know him better than you should,” Dave hisses, walking him to the
door. “Now, get out of my house.”
“Yes,” Blaine sighs heavily. Talking to Dave it's like talking to a wall. A
giant, slightly overweight wall who loathes him and lives in the constant
belief that he can only do wrong. Standing by the open door, he hesitates.
“Could I have a moment with Leo?”
“Of course not,” Dave answers.
Leo is literally shivering out of tension. “Dad, please?” He asks, a little
whiny. He looks like his nerves are ready to snap, so much he's restraining
himself from jumping up and down as he waits for an answer.
Dave would say no again, but apparently he doesn't understand what's going on
right now and most of all what happened in the past twenty-four hours, so he
turns to Kurt, hoping in a suggestion.
Kurt gives the smallest of nods. “Just two minutes, Leonard. And stay where we
can hear you.”
Leo nods and follows Blaine outside. They stop on the porch, the farthest they
can go to have a little privacy and still be at earshot from Kurt. There's a
first moment of awkwardness between them, but it melts right away, like it was
just a legacy of the discussion that happened in the living room. Now that they
are alone, they both feel like they can breathe again.
“It seems like you made a very big mess.”
Blaine laughs a bit. “So it seems,” he agrees as he tries very hard to stand
appropriately far from him. It was way easier with the threat of Leo's Cerberus
father. Now that there's nobody around, he's dying to kiss him again. “How are
you feeling about all this?
Leo shrugs. “I don't know. I didn't want to make them mad.”
“Neither did I,” Blaine sighs. “I'm sorry they caught us like that. It was my
fault.”
Leo smiles a little amused smile, and it's the cutest thing Blaine has ever
seen on Leo's lips, except maybe for his own. “As much as I would like to say
it was,” he says with a small giggle, “you left the door open but I didn't
close it. So we're both to blame. Maybe you can avoid to be naked next time,
that should make things easier.”
Blaine give him a little sad look. He knows very well that what lingers on his
tongue right now is something that he shouldn't say. Better would be to bury it
deep inside himself and forget that the thought was ever there. Whatever is
that's pushing him toward this fifteen years old kid is nothing to be
encouraged. Surely, if he lets it go, he will forget it as soon as he gets into
the car and drives away from Leo and the last twenty-four hours.
He cares for this kid as his father's best friend should. If what happened
isn't a complete mistake, it's at least something that should never ever happen
again. After all, he has literally seen him grow, and this alone should stop
him.
The problem is that Leo is grown so much and so well.
Blaine can't really stop himself. “Since it seems you're only attracted to me
when I'm naked, does it mean we will not have the chance to get together
anymore?”
“Maybe. If you...” Leo quickly looks behind himself, “If you happen to be in
Lima, sometimes.”
Blaine smiles, half relieved and half stupidly happy. “I'll make sure to come
to town, sometime soon,” he reassures him, and then he sighs. “I want to kiss
you so bad right now.”
Leo looks behind himself again. His parents are both waiting in the sitting
room, he can see their shoes from where he is standing. In one quick motion, he
pushes Blaine away from the door and kisses him, keeping the door just slightly
open with one hand. Blaine wasn't expecting this at all, so he just stands
still for a couple of seconds before wrapping his arms around Leo and kiss him
hungrily, tilting his head a bit to deepen the kiss.
For a long moment, Leo just loses himself completely. Whatever is happening
around him and Blaine loses importance and all he feels and cares for is this
kiss which instantly brings him back to the bathroom, against the sink and in
Blaine's naked arms from which his father has brutally dragged him away.
It could end badly, considering that he was interrupted in the worst moment
ever, but Blaine is sane for both of them and he unwillingly pulls away after
another couple of seconds, just before Leo can embarrass himself.
“I've got to go,” he whispers, still brushing his nose and lips against Leo's.
“I'll let you know when I'm back in town. I'll get a room somewhere.”
He manages to give him one last kiss, and then Dave's voice roars from inside
the house. “Leo! Two minutes are over.”
“Just call,” Leo says as Blaine kisses him on his forehead. “Maybe I'll come.”
“Maybe I will,” Blaine replies with a smile.
Leo watches him as he walks backwards towards his car. He'd rather die than say
to this man that he wants him, but Blaine doesn't need to hear those words.
They're written clearly on Leo' face, and that's enough for now.
Then, Dave yells again breaking the spell, so Leo turns around and runs back
inside.
                                       *
When he shuts the door behind himself, he finds Kurt waiting for him, sitting
on the couch. He's got his hands crossed on his knees and a sad look in his
eyes. Leo isn't sure what he's supposed to do, now: he had thought to run
straight to his room and kind of try and forget this whole thing had ever
happened, maybe call Adam and ask if he could stay at his place overnight or
something, but now this seems out of question. He knows he should walk over
there and sit beside his father and just listen as he scolds him, but he can't
bring himself to, so he just stays there, waiting for some sign and secretly
hoping none arrives.
"Leo," his father calls him in the end, "Come here, sweetheart."
His voice is all kinds of sad and soft, as he pats on the couch beside himself.
Leo can't really resist that voice, he never could. He's not really an
attentive son, he knows he's too self-centered to really try and put somebody
else's needs before his own, even if it's his parents', but whenever Kurt pulls
this voice there's no way Leo could be able to resist the urge to just sit next
to him and help him make better whatever's upsetting him.
"Where's dad?" he asks with a sigh, as he sits down, "I thought he would want
to be here for the lecture too."
Kurt sighs too, looking away for a moment. "He wasn't feeling really..." he
gestures vaguely, trying to find the right words to say it, "...ready. For
this. He decided to take a couple of minutes to himself to... calm down."
"Yeah, sure," Leo looks down at his own hands, closed in fists around the
fabric of his trousers. "So, what am I?" he asks after a while, "Grounded, or
something?"
"No, sweetie, you're not," Kurt hurries to reassure him, "It's just that...
what happened came so unexpectedly. You must understand, we, I mean, your
father and I, we obviously knew that, sooner or later, you'd have your
experiences, but we always took for granted it would have been with kids your
age, may them be girls or boys, so this... this was..." he shakes his head, as
if just talking about it had brought to his mind pictures he's not sure he can
handle right now, and that he'd better get rid of immediately, "This was too
much, and then, you know, the whole story this family shares with Blaine is
rather complicated, so..." he sighs again, leaning against the back of the
couch, his strength all drained by the apparently enormous effort he had to
make to spit this all out.
Leo looks at him for a couple of seconds, the grip of his fists tightening
around his trousers. Of all that came out during these dreadful last few hours,
the only thing Kurt wants to tell him is that everything's fine but it would
have been better if it wasn't Blaine the one he had to have sex with?
Sometimes Leo has the feeling that his parents don't get the point of him in
any way. Sometimes this feeling gets so strong Leo's barely able to stand it
without feeling the need to crush and burn things just to let pain and
frustration out.
They really just don't understand him. They don't get him. They're worlds
apart, and nothing - now it's almost painfully clear - nothing Leo could do to
make them understand would be enough.
"I didn't plan for it to be with him," he answers, frowning, "I thought I
didn't even like him. He's not the point."
"Then why?" Kurt insists, "Why him? You seemed to hate him so much..."
"I did," Leo answers, shrugging as if that feeling of anger and hate he used to
reserve for Blaine was something so distant and old that's already starting to
fade away in a blur. "I just... I came back home and there he was, half naked
in the sitting room, and--"
"He was naked?!" Kurt screams bringing both his hands over his mouth in shock.
"Half naked," Leo corrects him, making a face, "And please, don't scream. He'd
just got out of the shower, it was just a coincidence that I would find him
like that. Call it bad timing, call it all you want, that's still not the
point. He started asking questions, you know, about me, how I was feeling...
and..." he looks down, his eyes softening as the memories from the night before
start to crowd his mind, forcing a smile out of him, "He seemed to get it, you
know? He asked all the right questions and gave all the right answers, and that
was it," he shrugs, "He's not such a bad guy, after all."
"Oh, please, Leo," Kurt grimaces, shaking his head, "Now, I understand he
probably helped you figure out a couple of things you hadn't been able to
figure out by yourself, but don't say he's not such a bad guy. Not after he
made you find him naked!" he adds with real horror in his voice, "No wonder you
immediately fell for him," he sighs, covering his eyes with both his hands.
"He didn't make me find him naked," Leo sighs, rolling his eyes. Sometimes
talking with his father is nothing different than try and talk with Tana. He
only gets what he wants to and ignores the rest. "I mean, he didn't know I was
coming home, how could he? And why the hell are you covering your eyes now? I
mean, I understand you must know how he is without clothes on, but..." he stops
for a second, reconsidering his last few words, "Actually, it makes sense you
want to do that, he is something, after all."
"Leo!" Kurt stops him, horrified, "It's not funny."
"Well, the sex was," Leo shrugs.
"Leo..." Kurt whines in what looks like some sort of physical pain, averting
his eyes, "Please, he's more than twice your age. He could be your father."
"But he's not," Leo blinks, "At least, not that I know. He isn't my real
father, is he?"
"No way!" Kurt answers, a hand theatrically pressed against his chest, as if
the mere insinuation was making him feel sick, "But that doesn't change the
fact that you're just a kid, sweetie, and he's a grown up man. I mean, do you
really even want him that way? Doesn't it feel weird that it had to be him,
couldn't it be anybody else? Because, I'm sure, your dad and me, we both could
understand if you just wanted to... to make a little experience, and we would
be very understanding, I assure you, if you just could, like... forget him, and
go with another boy, you know, somebody your age, maybe some friend of yours."
"Can you stop saying that?" Leo looks away, irritated by how stubbornly his
father keeps going his own way, deliberately ignoring the real point of the
whole situation, which would be that Leo would have never felt the need to do
what he did with Blaine, if his parents had really be there for him, to answer
his question and help him figure things out. "Listen, I don't want a
relationship with him, if that's what you need to hear to feel better. I'm not,
like, in love or anything, he hasn't worked any charm with me and I promise
he's never gonna be your son-in-law. I just liked to be with him, okay? And I'd
like to do it again. Maybe a couple of times, maybe three, I don't know.
Wouldn't be the same with somebody else, you know what I mean?" He waits for
his father to nod in agreement, but all he gets from him is another horrified
expression, so he adds "But I'll have other guys! Sure, I mean, I'd like that.
And girls, as well. I actually think I may be bi."
"Oh, don't be stupid, baby," Kurt scoffs, waving his hand mid-air as if to blow
his words away like they were smoke, "All I'm saying is that not only your
first time, but all your first sexual experiences are precious, and you
shouldn't... I mean, you shouldn't throw it all away with a man you could
easily forget after two or maybe three times, just because he's more
experienced than a kid your age could ever be."
"I'm not gonna forget him or what we've done," Leo snorts, upset by his
father's attitude, especially by the way he keeps taking for granted things
that may be obvious to him, but sure as hell aren't for Leo, "I liked what
happened, that's the only reason why I want it to happen again. And, for your
information, I really like girls too, so don't tell me not to be stupid, 'cause
I already am not."
"Please, baby," his father shakes his head, apparently disappointed in him,
"You just like boys or girls. Or did Blaine fill your head with something even
more stupid than his good looks, while he was having you two times in less than
twelve hours breaking every possible sex law in the state of Ohio?"
"He has nothing to do with it, dad, and for the last time, I was consenting,"
Leo snorted, blushing violently, "Can you please just accept it, as the fact
that I know I like both boys and girls? I mean, I've been with girls, I didn't
have sex with one yet, but I've been intimate with girls before, and I like
it."
"Baby," Kurt sighs like someone who's forced to gather all his patience and
strength to deal with a particularly thick head, "Bisexual is a term gay guys
use in high school when they wanna hold hands with girls and feel normal. You
don't need to, we know you're perfect as you are. If you like boys, we're all
right behind you, and we'll support you as much as we can and more, you don't
have to pretend you like girls too, we won't stop loving you if you're gay."
"But I'm not pretending!" Leo shouts, feeling the usual wave of rage that
always ends up closing whatever conversation he's having with his father in a
fight, "Why are you, of all people, talking to me like that? Am I not allowed
to feel this way?"
"Oh, baby," Kurt smiles sweetly, gently brushing Leo's shoulder with his hand,
"Sure you're allowed to feel confused and don't know exactly what you like,
yet. You're so young."
And of course Kurt didn't get a single word right out of Leo's speech. The kid
lets the topic fall, knowing that, if he goes down the rage path, he's gonna
end up grounded for the rest of his life. "Whatever. I just wanna know if
you're mad at me because of Blaine and you wanna ground me."
"No, baby, I told you, I won't ground you," Kurt shakes his head, smiling
kindly, "And I'm not mad. Or, better, yes, I am, but it's not because of Blaine
himself. I just want you to understand that I'm worried about you. You still
don't know anything about how adults behave when they're in love or have an...
interest in somebody. I'm just worried he might hurt you."
"He couldn't hurt me, dad, he didn't promise me anything and I expect nothing
from him. I'm not in love, I told you. Really, I'm not."
"That's not the point, Leo," Kurt sighs, "He's thirty-five. He acts, thinks and
speaks like a grown-up man. Don't you understand? You have nothing in common,
and maybe you're not expecting anything from him right now, but eventually, if
you keep seeing him that way, the time in which you'll want to expect something
from him will come. And maybe he won't even notice, 'cause you two just... just
come from two worlds apart."
"Let's say we have just sex in common," Leo insists, stubbornly, "What about
that?"
"Honey, that's not a thing," Kurt explains, passing a hand over his face to try
and wipe away the weariness that this conversation's pulling over him, "The
need to have sex is something we all have in common with billions of people in
the world. I'm talking about something deeper, something like... affection,
interest, care. The way you care about each other, that's something you should
have in common to call it a relationship."
"But I don't want that from him!" Leo almost screams, annoyed and tired,
knowing he won't be able to put up with this conversation for much too long,
"That's the point! Why do you have to make such a fuss over it? I had sex with
him, almost two times, okay?, and that's it. There's nothing more than this
between us. Someday I'll fall in love with somebody and everything, like you
and dad did with each other, but that's not the case. This is not important."
"Well, then," Kurt says, hanging on to Leo's words for dear life, as he knows
his son won't be so distracted as to give him a second chance to use something
he said against his own reasoning, "If it's not important, it could have been
with anybody else. Then it doesn't have to be with him again, and you won't
care if you don't get to see him ever again. Am I right?"
Of course he's not. Of course he's the opposite of right, he's so damn wrong
that for a moment Leo wonders if he even heard what he tried to say at all.
He's so taken aback by the way his father's deliberately choosing to ignore how
he feels, that at first he doesn't even know what to say. "I..." he starts off,
but Kurt doesn't let him finish.
"That would make everything right, you know?" he says with an uncertain smile,
"'Cause your father and me wouldn't be so stressed about it, if it wasn't him.
If it was just anybody else, it would be okay, provided of course he doesn't
break the law by getting intimate with you. So, are we set? You're not going to
see him again, but you can keep having experiences with whoever kid you like?"
Leo sighs deeply, looking away. This is not going anywhere, and he's had
enough. He can't take any of this bullshit anymore. "Yeah, fine," he gives up.
Right now, he just wants to go back to his room and finally be alone for a
couple of hours without people shouting at him and lecturing him so much he
can't even hear the sound of his own thoughts.
He will do whatever the fuck he wants, though, that's for sure. May his parents
give him permission or not.
"Great," Kurt smiles sweetly, clearly relieved by Leo's surrender, "And believe
me, baby, you can really come to me whenever you want, to talk about whatever
you like. I'll listen."
Leo would like to ask him, like you did today? But he doesn't say a word. He
doesn't see the point in doing so. They never really listened to him. They
clearly won't start now. It's a lost cause, so he just nods, giving his father
what he really wants from him to get it over with this whole stupid play.
When Kurt asks for an hug, he complies, but there's no warmth in his embrace.
He doubts there will ever be again.
***** Report Three: Cognitive Dissonance *****
Joining the McKinley's glee club hasn't exactly been Leo's idea.
Not that he doesn't like it. Of course he does. He has fun with the boys and
the girls of the team, he likes to sing and dance, or else he wouldn't even
bother showing up. Still, it's not like stage performing is what he lives for,
and surely the fact that his two best friends, Annie and Adam, couldn't sing or
dance for their life and were even forbidden to try again after they had failed
their first audition (which Leo had forced them to undergo anyway) doesn't make
him any more eager to spend more time in the auditorium than he already has to.
That's why he's always the first to stand up and leave when the bell rings and
he can already spot Annie and Adam waiting for him in the hallway, and since
that's what he has always done he never ceases to be surprised whenever Harper
throws a fit every time she sees him walking away sooner and faster than
everybody else.
Harper's the captain of the glee club, not to mention the reason why, if he had
known about her from the start, he would have told uncle Finn to go and find
somebody else to fill the spot left open after his previous male lead had
graduated. She's the ultimate bitch, and Leo can hardly stand her. She’s got it
all: the voice, the looks, the drive and the insufferable attitude of the girl
who wants to be a star no matter what, and is willing to step on everybody
else's needs to get there. She's basically everything he hates in aunt Rachel,
without the money and the cuddling she usually provides whenever she's back in
town. So there's basically nothing good about Harper, no good qualities Leo can
cling to, to stop himself from dwell into a bottomless pitch of hate every time
she opens her mouth with some snarky remark or complaint about him.
"Are you kidding me?!" Harper's high-pitched, filled with outrage voice reaches
him when he's already with one foot out of the auditorium, his bag on its way
to his shoulder, swinging down his side.
"What about?" he half-turns around, casting her a questioning look.
She looks so shocked, as if he had personally offended her or something. "You
can't go now."
Leo arches an eyebrow, turning around to look at her. "Really, can't I?"
"Come on, Harp," Philip chuckles as he walks past the two of them and towards
the door, "Give him a break." He's one of the back dancers. Out of here, he's
the son of one of the best plastic surgeons in the entire state, his future's
already been planned for him by his parents and he's cool with it, he likes the
idea, he's looking forward to entering college, getting his degree and follow
his father's steps, and at the same time he's cool with joining the glee club
and just be a back dancer. Leo kind of respects his attitude, it must be hard
for such a winner to settle for less, but Philip does it with a smile on his
face, and Leo likes it.
"Yeah, Harp," he adds then, waving Philip goodbye, "Give me a break. And why
can't you be more like him, anyway?"
"As in, a loser who flails in the back and nobody cares for?" she asks, her
pretty features twisted in a disgusted face.
"As in, not an asshole," Leo corrects her, frowning.
"Now, now, kids," his uncle says, approaching them and patting them both on
their shoulders, attempting to calm them down, "What's with the bad language?
What's happening here?"
"Leo was just about to go away," Harper answers, "Already. Luckily, I stopped
him."
Finn blinks a couple of times, his bewildered expression clearly showing what
he thinks, which would be that sometimes he has no idea how to deal with Harper
because he just doesn't get her, very much like he never really got Rachel.
"What do you mean, can't he go? Rehearsal's over."
"Yeah, my thoughts exactly," Leo says, happy to know his fathers probably
didn't tell his uncle about the Blaine disaster yet. If they did, he wouldn't
be acting normally, now.
"We had agreed we would stay here another hour or so after rehearsals, to
prepare for Regionals!" Harper protests, her hands on her hips, her left foot
tapping nervously against the tiled floor, producing a rhythmic clicking sound
that's making Leo nervous.
"By agree," Leo points out, struggling to keep himself calm, "She means she
decided, ignoring the fact that I had already told her I didn't want to, and
then she just expected me to comply. Too bad, Bitchland Princess, I've got
other plans."
"Leo!" Finn turns towards him and frowns sternly, "You kiss your father with
that mouth! Stop it. And you stop it too, Harper," he adds, turning towards her
and shutting her up before she can even start to complain, "We’ve still got a
couple of months before Regionals, we've got all the time we need to rehearse
appropriately and there's no need to stay here late or to overwork ourselves.
You wanna rehearse harder, fine, but do it for yourself and on your own, don't
force the others to do the same if they don't want to."
"Fine!" she scoots over nervously, outraged and angered like every time she
feels she's been disrespectfully mistreated, "Whatever. Do what you want, but
remember, it won't be my fault when we get kicked out and sent back home at
Regionals already!"
She storms out the next second, before Finn can try and calm her down, and Leo
watches his uncle as he rolls his eyes and sighs in resignation. "I've gotta go
after her..." Finn says, whining a little as he pictures what a struggle will
be to bring her back to Earth from the tip of Mount Anger, where she just
climbed. "Why do you always have to fight? I swear, sometimes I think if you
keep fighting like that, you'll be married before you're out of school."
Leo instinctively makes a face, backing off as if feeling threatened by the
mere allegation. "Never gonna happen," he says, shaking his head. His uncle
adds something about kids never understanding how these things work - as if he
had a clue about it, instead - and then walks out of the auditorium, following
Harper's steps.
Leo sighs, says goodbye to the others and walks out into the hallway, at the
end of which Annie and Adam are already waiting for him. Adam's leaning against
the wall, next to the door, and he looks as bored as he can be, while Annie
gracefully stands next to him, her arms relaxed down her sides, the fine line
of her slim, fairytale princess-like body wrapped up in a pretty light blue
dress with a huge satin bow that goes all around her waist and falls on her
right hip. She looks unreal, actually too beautiful to be true, with her long,
barely wavy red hair falling down her pale bare shoulders and those incredible
piercing sky-blue eyes. When she's next to Adam - who's, after all, the picture
perfect of what people imagine to be Prince Charming, with his blond, wild
hair, his strong and masculine features and his deep brown eyes - sometimes Leo
stops to stare at them in awe, which is something he rarely does. Those two are
beautiful enough to make him, and usually, when the three of them are walking
down the hallways together, they catalyze everybody's attention. No wonder
they're so popular.
"At last," Adam snorts when he spots him in the crowd of students ready to
leave the building, "Your lateness stopped to be fashionable twenty minutes
ago."
"Sorry," Leo chuckles, reaching them and then walking out of the school by
their side, "I've been held up."
"Harper, I suppose?" Annie asks with a light smile.
"Who else?" Leo snorts, rolling his eyes to the sky as they walk down the
street, towards the park they usually hang out in a bit before heading each to
their own home.
Annie chuckles, grabbing Leo's arm as she walks. "We've seen her running away
from the auditorium, she seemed upset. What did you do to her?"
"You mean what did she do to me!" Leo corrects her, outraged.
"Oh, come on, you're always angry at her for a reason or another," Annie
chuckles again, "It's never what she does, it's her in general."
"Yeah, you're right, it's 'cause she's alive and that's enough for her to get
on my nerves," he nods, more seriously than it's needed.
"Being alive is enough for everybody to get on your nerves, Leo," Adam points
out with a resigned sigh. Leo lifts a hand a slaps him on his nape, while Annie
lets out an amused laughter.
They keep walking for a little while, as they see the huge green spot that the
park is grow bigger and bigger with every step they take. Annie talks non-stop
about the classes she's been to, and this gorgeous young and single math
teacher she apparently can't stop thinking and fantasizing about. Adam calls
her a wannabe-slut as he always does whenever she starts talking about men
she'd do or things she'd want men to do to her (not to mention the ones she'd
like to do to them), and she doesn't even bother getting upset about it, since
she knows Adam, with his artistic, late '800 gentlemanly soul, sees every woman
as a pure, stainless, divine masterpiece, and he hates that Annie, instead,
seems to have been created just to spit on everything he believes in.
Leo listens to them talking, then quarrelling, then make peace and mock each
other. He smiles and nods and seems to follow their casual chit-chat, but he's
clearly elsewhere, concentrated on his own secret thoughts, since he listened
to Annie talk about the teacher, 'cause of course the situation reminded him of
Blaine.
"Come on, Leo, spit it out," Annie grins as she sits down on one of the pretty
wooden white-painted benches on both sides of the main path that cuts the park
in two, "What's bothering you?"
Leo lets himself fall on the bench right next to her, dropping his bag on the
grass as he lets out a deep, nervous sigh. "What makes you think there's
something bothering me?"
"Oh, come on," Annie answers, chuckling as she elegantly covers her mouth with
her hand, mimicking some sort of royal demeanor she only pretends to go by when
she feels like mocking everything her mother and father raised her up to be,
"You've been silent all this time," she explains, gracefully crossing her long
legs, the embroided lace hem of her petticoat showing off in the movement, "And
you almost never are, especially after you had a fight with Harper. You like to
rant for hours about her."
"You like to rant for hours about everything, actually," Adam points out,
throwing his backpack on the ground next to Leo's as he sits down on the bench
too, hitting Leo's side with his own to make him move and make room for him,
"Thank God you're not into politics."
Leo glares at them both, crossing his arms over his chest. "What now, can't a
guy have a moment of silence? Okay, maybe this time something actually happened
to me, I'll give you that, but it's not like every time I don't speak it means
something's bothering me, you know? I can be quiet when I want to."
"No, you can't," Adam says, shaking his head, Annie's laughter quickly
following his words.
"Come on, Leo," she encourages him, "You'll have to tell us, sooner or later,
anyway."
As he thinks about it, Leo realizes this is not going to be easy, not at all.
Of course he wants to tell them, there's nobody he'd like to talk about it more
than he'd like to do with his best friends, he just doesn't know how.
Especially since what exactly happened - except for the act itself - is not
clear to him either.
"Alright, fine," he gives up with a sigh, "Do you remember Blaine?"
"How could we not?" Adam answers, rolling his eyes, his shoulders bending a
little, giving in to the weight of what he pictures the next three hours to be,
with Leo endlessly and pointlessly whining about this man he's been hating
since he was a kid for random and ridiculous reasons. "I'm telling you, Leo, if
this is another rant on how awful he is and how he almost ruined your dads'
wedding, this time I'm gonna suggest you get hospitalized. This obsession can't
be healthy."
He couldn't be farther from the truth, and yet, at the same time, closer to it.
"It's... definitely not that," Leo admits, swallowing hard as he searches for
the words to explain the situation. "The fact is, I kinda... had sex with him,
last night."
"Wait, you what?" Adam blurts out, his head instantly turning towards him, his
eyes growing wide as he fixes them on Leo, unable to process what he just
heard.
"You what?!" Annie echoes, looking for a moment just as shocked as Adam is, and
then bursting into a surprise and disbelief-driven laughter. "But he's, like,
what? Forty? Forty-five? And you dared to say I was weird 'cause I like mister
Hartnell!"
"First of all, Blaine's thirty-five," Leo nervously corrects her, finding
himself ridiculously eager to get this fact straight first, as if it made all
the difference in the world - which, sadly, it doesn't. "He's one year younger
than my father," he adds then, trying that too, hoping it’s enough to clean his
guilty conscience. Doesn't work either. "And anyway," he concludes with a sigh,
"I don't like him the way you like mister Hartnell. I don't drool all over him.
That's why you're weird."
"So what, you didn't even drool over him, but you had sex with him? Wow, that
escalated quickly," Annie protests, pouting a little, "I still think we're
equally weird."
"Wait just a second," Adam interrupts them, waving his hands in the air as if
trying to clear an invisible fog, clouding his thoughts, "What do you mean you
had sex with him?"
Leo frowns, looking at Adam as he tries to keep his patience. "Adam, what do
you think it means?"
"I don't know, you tell me!" Adam answers, standing up and moving a couple of
steps back and away from the bench, staring at Leo with incredibly and
unjustifiably troubled eyes, "Like, I don't know, was it like... the real
thing?"
"Yes," Leo answers straight away, not even taking time to think better about
what he says, finding himself working a lot better with direct, easy,
straightforward questions, "We went all the way on my couch."
"On your what?!" Adam spits out, his features twisted into a shocked
expression, "You don't even have a couch that's yours! You have no couch in
your room!"
"Aren't you missing the point a bit, Adam...?" Annie asks, unable to hide an
amused laughter.
"Well, we were in the living room," Leo shrugs, "He was getting ready to sleep
there, 'cause since Tana's been born we're lacking a spare room. I came back
home, I hated on him and then it just happened."
"Wait, what?" Annie laughs again, incredibly amused by the complete lack of
logic in Leo's sentence.
"But you had just spent hours at my place talking about how much you hated
him!" Adam points out, staring blankly at Leo's face as if he couldn't get it,
"This makes no sense!"
"I know! I know," Leo answers, "I wasn't planning to go back home and have sex
in general, let alone with him, but it happened. I mean, he was coming out of
the shower, when I arrived, so I look at him and tell him he should get
dressed, and he says 'my privates are covered', you know, and he starts playing
it cool like he always does. You know how, don't you?" he asks, almost
desperate for some sign of approval, or even forgiveness, or maybe just his
friends telling him they understand that he had no other choice; whatever to
try and stop thinking the huge mess that blew in his hands last morning could
be his fault too.
His friends, though, show no sign of any of that. Adam's too shocked to
conceive a single rational thought, and Annie just keeps looking at him, her
lips curled in a small, curious smile, her eyes shining with interest, but
there's no compassion in there. And after all, why should there be?
Leo rests his shoulders against the back of the bench, sighing deeply. "I
just... I don't know. I acted like I didn't care for him being half-naked and
everything, but... I did. And then he did it, he just... he asked me when it
started. And I swear... I couldn't believe he had said it."
"When it started?" Adam asks, his eyes even more lost and confused now, "When
what started?!"
"When he started liking boys too, dumbass!" Annie rolls her eyes, casting him
an unbelieving glance.
Adam turns to her, staring at her for the longest moment, and then stares back
at Leo, the rest of his body standing completely still as he had no strength to
move anymore. "You like boys too?"
"Well... yeah," Leo answers, trying not to show how awkward he feels, being
stared at like that, "I mean, I think so. I've been finding some of them
attractive, lately, and now this, so..."
"But... when did all this happen?!" Adam almost screams, turning to Annie
again, "And how did you know it?!"
"Uh, I dunno," she answers honestly, blinking at him a couple of times, "I have
eyes...?"
"It wasn't that obvious!" Adam says, "I didn't notice!" Annie raises her
eyebrows, looking at him. It has recently started to be kind of obvious,
indeed. And if Adam hasn't happened to notice, it's most probably because he's
dumb, or blind, or both. Her eyes make this clear better than any word could,
and suddenly Adam feels overwhelmed with a rush of anger and bitterness he
himself couldn't explain the reasons if he tried. He turns to look at Leo, and
when he talks he's not screaming anymore. "It wasn't obvious at all," he says,
but he doesn't believe it. He's just hoping Leo manages to find a way to tell
him it really wasn't, but he doesn't. 'Cause he can't.
"It's okay if you didn't notice," he says instead, offering him an apologetic
smile, "I didn't exactly make an announcement."
"Yeah, but..." Adam shakes his head, backing off again, and as Annie looks at
him, suddenly more seriously than she's ever done, he bends over and fetches
his backpack from the ground. "I've gotta go," he says then.
"Adam!" Leo calls out on him, his eyes wide, "Come on, man, are you kidding
me?"
"No, really," Adam shakes his head again, "I mean, don't take it wrong, I'd
like to talk about it. Actually, you know what? We definitely have to talk
about it, so you'll call me later. But now I've gotta go, I've got... things to
do. Somewhere. With... some people. But totally call me later, 'kay? 'Kay," he
concludes, nodding to himself more than he's doing at Leo, before he just turns
around and runs off.
Leo points his feet on the floor to stand up and run after him, but Annie
places a hand on his arm, keeping him still. "Let him go," she says, shaking
her head and then throwing a resigned glance to the sky, "I swear, you're both
even dumber than you look. It's embarrassing."
Leo sighs, crouching his shoulders and hiding his face behind both his hands.
"Great..." he whispers, before letting out a frustrated growl.
"Now, now," Annie smiles sweetly again, patting Leo on his shoulder, "Don't
worry, he's just shocked because he's been knowing you since you both wore
diapers and yet he managed not to notice what was happening. He'll get over
it," she nods, leaning in to hug him. "Now, tell me what the hell happened."
"I don't know," Leo sighs again, leaning against her shoulder, "I mean, it went
exactly as I told you, it was that easy. Does this say something about me? I
mean, after all he only had to ask. He asked that question and something...
something unlocked inside of me, you know? I wanted to talk about it, maybe
I... I even really wanted to try. So, when he said I could try and kiss him to
see how it affected me... I said yes."
Annie covers her mouth with both her hands, trying to muffle an excited
laughter. "Now, I can't lie, this sounds both incredibly sick and incredibly
hot, but after all hot things tend to, usually. He's the Broadway actor, isn't
he? Broadway, not really my thing. I don't think I've ever seen him, how does
he look like?"
"He's... average height, I guess, I mean, he's taller than me, now, but shorter
than both my dads, so..." Leo lets his eyes wander away from Annie's features,
the image of Blaine's face and body surfacing so easily in his memory, "He's
got black curly hair, strong features, golden eyes. He always dresses sharply,
like, all the time."
"Like he's supposed to be always ready for some fashion show?" Annie asks in a
small laughter.
"Yeah, exactly!" Leo nods, "He's like... always perfect. Even in the middle of
the night, sitting on the couch in the living room with only a fucking towel
on, he was perfectly at ease. He's so irritating."
Annie chuckles again, looking indulgently at him as she reaches out to stroke
his curls. "I think you probably like him more than you know. How was his cock,
magic?" she adds, chuckling mischievously as she elbows him lightly in his
ribs.
Leo chuckles too, massaging his side even though Annie didn't really hurt him
that much. "Cumbersome, mostly."
"Then I can see why you like him," she laughs, "But, really, how was it? I'm
pretty curious."
Leo tries a smirk, but somehow he ends up just smiling dumbly, and it's all he
can manage, right now. "It was good, actually. Better than I thought it would
be. I mean, everybody say that first times sucks, so considering I was having
mine with him I was expecting it to be shitty, but... it wasn't. He wasn't so
annoying, in the end."
Annie smiles, getting from how Leo's lips curl upwards all the information she
needs, and way more clearly than she could by just hearing his words. "So, what
is it now? Is it, like, a thing? You two?"
"Of course not," Leo instantly answers, frowning at the mere thought. He seems
to be wanting to add something else, but Annie doesn't let him.
"And what about your parents?" she asks, "Do they know?"
Leo sighs, looking down in shame and sadness at the thought of the scene that
happened in the bathroom yesterday morning. "It was supposed to be a secret,
but... my dad kinda caught us. And hell broke loose."
"Your dad what?!" Annie backs off a little, looking at Leo with clear concern
in her eyes.
"Yeah, you heard me," Leo sighs, "He freaked out and started chasing him
around. He was so angry, I swear I thought he would kill him. They even wanted
to call the police."
"Oh my God..." Annie says, reaching out for him to hug him, "I'm so sorry,
Leo," Then she looks up at him, and when she speaks again Leo's mind goes
blank. "Are you alright?" she asks.
No one has asked yet. Not his parents, not even Blaine.
He hugs her back, hiding his face against her neck. "I think so," he sighs
against her skin, "I mean, it was pretty bad and if they had let me talk then
maybe it could have been better, but... he didn't get arrested and they didn't
send me abroad, so I guess I'm gonna call it a success."
Annie smiles a bit, rubbing Leo's back up and down, as if to comfort him. "What
now, then?" she asks, "Are you saying it was just a one-time thing and you're
never gonna see him again and everything? Actually, maybe it'd be safer," she
nods to herself, pondering.
"Actually," Leo says, looking away in embarrassment, "We might have decided
that he'll let me know when he comes around Lima again."
Annie looks at him with her blue eyes wide open for a little while. "Like...
Okay, Leo, I'm confused, here," she gives in with a small laughter, "You like
him, but you hate him. You don't have a thing with him, but you're gonna see
him again. What's... actually going on? Honestly?"
Leo backs off a little, crossing his arms over his chest as if to protect
himself from Annie's inquiring eyes. "I just like to have sex with him, that's
all. Does it have to be something else?"
"Of course not!" Annie shakes her head, "I wasn't implying anything, I was just
trying to understand what’s happening. You're saying it's basically like a
friends with benefits thing... without the friendship part."
"Yeah," Leo nods vaguely, "Something like that. I mean, this is the only one
thing in which I don't find him utterly irritating and unbearable, and it gives
me pleasure too. Why shouldn't I go with it?"
Annie nods eagerly. "You're right," she says, "As long as it's safe."
But what if it wasn't, he thinks to himself, as he absent-mindedly nods at
Annie, his eyes already drifting away from hers, What if I don't want it to be
safe, what if it really wasn't, then, what if I wanted to play this dirty, to
actually risk something, what if I just want to fall head over heels in this,
put myself in danger, what if I, just once, just this time, wanted to try and
make a bet on my own skin?
Would it still be okay if I wanted to do it regardless of any consequence?
He doesn't tell Annie this, though. Would be pointless, she probably wouldn't
understand - the things Blaine does to him, what he's always done to him, how
wild he always drove him, the only difference being that it was just rage
before, it's something else now - she would just be worried, and Leo doesn't
want her to worry. She's been already kind enough bearing with him like that up
to now.
So he just tells her what he knows to be true, somewhere deep inside himself.
He tells her he trusts Blaine, somehow. If not with everything, at least with
this.
"Then I hope it goes well," she says then, smiling sweetly, "And of course,"
she adds with a playful smile, "You'll have to tell me everything!"
Leo gives in to a relieved laughter, casting a thankful look toward her. "Why
doesn't this surprise me?" he asks, and then shakes his head, looking up at the
clear sky of the early afternoon, "You already know more than I do, Annie."
"Well, I know a lot," she nods, "But I'm still quite inexperienced about the
real deal. Now, finally, I have someone to whom I can ask whatever I want about
the proper act before I do it too!"
"I didn't exactly do it as you will, Annie," Leo chuckles, shaking his head, "I
mean, unless... but I don't really think you're gonna start with that."
"I'm not talking about the mechanics!" Annie laughs, slapping him playfully on
his shoulder, "I'm talking about the experience as a whole! I mean, for
example, how does it feel to... you know. Be so close to somebody else."
Leo looks down, smiling a little. "It's... overwhelming," he says, his cheeks
turning a brighter shade of pink, "Like, for one moment there's nothing else,
literally. You can't feel anything beside the other's touch. So, when it's
over, it's good, of course, but then you wake up and it's reality again."
Annie looks closely at him, her eyes clearly showing that, if she already had
her doubts about Leo not being emotionally involved with this man, somehow, her
doubts are quickly turning into certainties, if she lets the way he talks about
him be of any indication about how he really feels. She smiles and hugs him
without telling him anything, though, because she knows that, if he told her
it's nothing more than sex, he had his reasons to, and she isn’t going to get
anything, especially not right now, if she insists on questioning him about
that. "Seems great," she says, patting him on his back, and then she withdraws,
dramatically letting herself go against the back of the bench, letting a sound
whine out of her lips, "Man, I hope I'll find someone worthy of a shag soon
too. The more time passes, the hornier I get! I swear, God have mercy of the
first guy that manages to get me into bed."
"I don't know about God, but I'll have no mercy for him," Leo chuckles, "If
he's not perfect and worthy of you, I'll kick his ass. And if he's too big,
I'll have Adam kick it for both of us."
Annie laughs, hitting Leo's shoulder with his own. "Mind you," she says, "It's
a promise."
Leo smiles, and leans in to kiss her on her forehead. "You can bet it is."
                                       *
Later that day, Leo is at home.
Kurt's taking care of dinner downstairs and Dave is trying to get a very grumpy
Tana to have a bath. By the high-pitched screams she lets out, he's not being
very successful and the chorus of her crying and spitting and being hysteric is
going to continue until someone manages to put her to sleep. Leo has been
wearing his headphones since it started half an hour ago, and he can still hear
her. Sometimes he wonders why his parents wanted so bad another little
screaming monkey after they were finally free of the first one. He can swear
there's nothing good in her. She is just annoying.
Leo doesn't really like children, especially toddlers like his sister. They are
always dirty, screaming and they have the tendency of being hungry, sleepy or
needing to be changed when you're busy doing something else. Sometimes they are
all those three things at once and, no matter what you do, they're crying
anyway. How can someone want to have something like that in his life for, like,
five or six years? He doesn't get it. Sometimes he talks about it with his best
friends, but they can't understand him. Anne is a girl – and they seem
genetically predisposed to love every puppy of every species, except maybe for
spiders – and Adam thinks babies are funny – his words – and always offers to
babysit his little cousin Devon when he gets the chance, and not only because
he needs money, but because he likes to, which is simply out of Leo's
comprehension.
One time that he was bored to death and he didn't really have nothing else to
do – not even homework – he has accepted to babysit with Adam and he still
remembers that as the most dreadful evening of his life. Devon was three at the
time and he would not stop talking as loud as his little lungs would let him.
Adam would tell him to speak more quietly and he would for five minutes, and
then go back to scream again. Leo wanted to suffocate him with a pillow, but
Adam just laughed and seemed to find really funny how Devon was constantly
mumbling in the highest voice ever. Besides, Adam didn't even freak out when
the kid just threw out something like all the meals of the previous week on the
carpet of the living room. At that point, Leo decided that babies were no fun
at all and there was no reason why a perfectly sane person should have wanted
one of them. They had spent the rest of the evening scrubbing the carpet and
the floor with the stain remover while Lil' Son of Satan – finally free of all
the food he had ever eaten and probably some internal organs too – fell asleep
in his bed, peacefully as if he had not just repainted the living room.
Thinking about Adam reminds him what has happened this morning.
As usual, some very coward part of his brain has been ignoring his best
friend's reaction all day like it has never happened. He can't deny that
there's something disappointing and utterly scary in the way Adam has just
dismissed the news and run away. It's not like he doesn't know Adam and the way
he thinks. Leo is perfectly aware that Adam has some very strong ideas on
certain subjects, especially on sexuality and people behavior. He doesn't like
the way Annie lives with her body and her needs, for example. He thinks that
she should be more prudish about them. He's not intolerant – that is he doesn't
really fight with her or think of her less – but he doesn't approve at all.
Now, he has never been bothered by people being gay – he has basically spent
the whole of his childhood in Leo's house, watched by Leo's fathers because his
single mother had double shifts at the hospital – but Leo is afraid that him
being gay looks way worse to Adam than his parents being so.
He has felt a little rejected in the way Adam has looked at him after hearing
about it. He kept apologizing and saying everything was okay just in the way
you do when nothing is okay at all but you don't want to say it aloud. Leo is
wondering if Adam feels in fact betrayed somehow. Of course, Leo wasn't sure he
liked boys until lately, and he has not purposely hidden the notion from Adam
for whatever reason. In the beginning, he was completely clueless. Later, he
had some doubts and just waited to be sure, which kinda happened with Blaine –
but not completely – and he did said it to Adam then.
What if the problem is not even that? What if Adam feels betrayed for all the
times they have showered together or they have changed clothes in front of each
other? Leo knows that that's just plain stupid – even if he likes boys too now,
he doesn't mean he likes all the boys or that he looks at them all in a sexual
way – but he can see Adam feeling tricked somehow because he did certain things
with him without knowing he was bisexual. He wouldn't strip in front of a girl
– not even Annie – or have a naked shower with her, so he probably wouldn't
want to do that in front of a boy who likes other boys.
Leo's naturally very touchy. It doesn't take long for him to get mad at someone
for even the smallest thing. He feels hurt very quickly; and it's funny how
easy it is for other people to misuse him when he almost never cares for other
people's feeling. So, the idea of Adam not being completely accepting of him
upsets him more than it should do at this time when they haven't even spoken to
each other about it and this is all just Leo's supposition, but this time the
fear of losing Adam over this is bigger than his irritation about Adam's
reaction. He can't even stand the idea that it could happen.
So, he grabs his phone and calls him. If anything, they're at least gonna talk
about it long and hard before Leo lets him being scared or whatever of him. He
doesn't need to dial the number or even search it on the address book of his
cellphone. Adam is on speed-dial even before either one of his fathers, Leo
being convinced – as any other teen – that nothing can happen to him and if he
will ever have a problem, it will be of a nature that only his best friend can
resolve.
It's six in the afternoon, so football training is over and Adam must be
walking back home. Leo knows Adam's schedule like is own. Actually, he knows it
better because, unlike him, Adam is very timely and always does the same things
at the same hour of the day. It takes Adam three rings to pick up. The fact
that he does pick up is a good sign for Leo, but Adam's voice sounds a little
shaky, and this is not a good sign at all.
“'sup?” Adam says, not so casually as he'd like.
“Hey, what are you doing?” Leo asks, trying to be casual as well. He fails. The
very beginning of this conversation is extremely uncomfortable and forced. Adam
knows why he's calling and Leo knows precisely what Adam's doing. The pink
elephant watching them both right now trumpets annoyed.
“Going home,” Adam answers, predictably. “You?”
“I'm doing math.” What follows is a long awkward silence, during which he
actually colors the inside of the loops of all the eights in his book with his
pencil. “Listen, about this morning...”
“It's not like I'm not okay with it,” Adam says right away as if he expected
him to accuse him. “I was just caught off guard.”
“I know that,” Leo lies. Well, he didn't know a few minutes ago, now he does.
So, it's not really a lie.
“Why didn't you tell me?”
Leo sighs. He pushes himself away from his desk and lets the spinning chair
transport him to the bed, on which he falls with a huff. “I didn't know.”
“You didn't know you were gay?” Adam asks.
“I am not gay, Adam. I'm bisexual.”
Leo can feel Adam frowning even from there. “Isn't it the same?”
“No, it's not!” Leo whines, covering his eyes with an arm. Then he realizes
that they're not discussing semantic and the only problem here is the gay part
of bisexuality. “Okay, maybe it is, in this case,” he concedes.
“Yeah.”
“I wasn't sure,” Leo says again. “I didn't want to tell you I like boys if it
wasn't true.”
“And you thought that telling me you did it with that man was a better way to
introduce me to the idea?”
“Well, at least at that point I knew for sure,” Leo chuckles.
Adam isn't laughing. “Leo...”
“Okay, okay. I'm sorry,” Leo stop laughing but his smile still pours through
the phone. “Listen, it's not like I wanted to keep you out of it. I swear. But
wouldn't it have been strange if I had taken you aside to talk with you about
feelings and stuff? Come on! We don't do that! You're still the first person I
told what happened.”
“I wasn't exactly alone, you know?”
Annie's situation is a little weird. They both like her very much. She is
funny, she is smart and she is different from all the other girls they know,
but she showed up one day coming in between them – so to speak – when it had
been just the two of them since kindergarten. She accidentally broke a balance.
Leo is not aware of that, at least not at a conscious level. If asked, he would
say he considers her part of the group without a doubt. In reality, some
aspects of his behavior towards Adam tend to exclude her completely. To Leo,
it's automatic to sit on Adam's side at lunch or at the cinema, to call him
first when he has to invite them out, to ask him and not her what they are
doing in the week end. She's only supposed to tag along. At least Adam is well
aware of the situation. To him, Annie is more than okay, but he consciously
acts like the two of them come first.
That's why he is so much more upset than he should be.
“I didn't plan on telling it like that,” Leo sighs. “I wasn't going to make an
announcement either, but... listen, you two noticed something was wrong. You
asked. I answered. What was I supposed to do? Tell her to go away? That would
have been rude.”
“I suppose so,” Adam mumbles.
Leo sighs. “Adam, I'm sorry. Okay?”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Are you still mad at me?” Leo inquires, hanging there like from Adam's answer
depended his life.
“Never really been,” he mumbles.
Leo smiles. “Good. Now, talking about me being--”
“I told you I'm okay with that,” Adam says.
“Yeah, well, maybe you should at least let me finish, so your calm and adult
reaction to the news can look more real,” he says, sarcastically.
Adam frowns. “Yeah, go on.”
Leo realizes that he doesn't really know what to say. Everything that comes to
his mind seems stupid or unnecessary. It's like telling him that fire burns or
water is wet, it's not like Adam's stupid or something. Leo just wants to make
sure Adam is really okay with having him around even if he likes boys too.
“Adam, I don't want you to feel awkward when I'm around,” he says, hesitantly.
“This thing doesn't change anything. You know that, right?”
“Yes, I know. I told you.”
“Because I had the impression you were scared, when I told you,” Leo continues,
remembering Adam's expression when the news came out.
“I wasn't scared!” Adam says, as outraged as a straight fifteen years old boy
should be; which, in their own private teen language means that he was indeed
scared. At least for a moment.
Leo sighs. “I won't jump on you in the locker room only because now I like boys
too,” he says it like a promise.
“I know that,” Adam says. “You wouldn't enter a locker room for your life,
anyway.”
Leo doesn't get the joke and frowns. “You know, it's not like I'd jump on every
girl I see!” He pouts. “Being bisexual or gay or whatever doesn't make you a
sex addict or a beast!”
Adam chuckles. “I was joking!” He exclaims. “Relax. Geez, who's the jumpy one,
now?”
Leo keeps pouting just for the sake of it since Adam can't see him. “Asshole.”
“Love you too,” Adam chuckles, again. “Listen, I didn't take it too well on the
spot, that's true. But that's because I hadn't seen that coming--”
“Hadn't you? Really?” Leo says. It still amazes him how oblivious to the whole
thing Adam has been. Leo wasn't sure to be bisexual either, but he was sure his
doubts has poured quite clearly through the glances he was casting left and
right to some guys at school. He was sure his best friends would notice sooner
or later, but apparently only Annie had and she was kind enough to wait for him
to tell instead of asking.
“Yeah, really. I'm not Annie, I don't spend my time daydreaming about boy-on-
boy stuff. Now those strange glances you were giving Hadley make sense – how
could you like Hadley, anyway? That guy is a jerk! – but back then I didn't
really care for them. It's not like I think gay every time a dude looks at
another dude. Not seriously, at least. It's not the first explanation that
comes to my mind.”
“What's the first, then?”
“That you hate someone,” Adam says right away, as if he actually had a real
theory about Leo's way of looking at people. In fact, he has one. “Usually you
don't care about anyone around you, unless you hate them. You'd rather have
people come to you and make you a compliment than bother to watch out for other
human beings. If you do, it's because you want them to know you hate them.”
“Wow. You really looked at me a lot.”
“I didn't have to. I know you.”
Leo smirks. “Yes, and you still didn't notice anything strange in me!” He
teases him.
Adam rolls his eyes. “Alright, I confess! I didn't notice!” He exclaims with
resignation. “Will you ever let it go?”
“I might be forgiving if you were willing to come with me to the comic shop,
tomorrow.”
The sound Adam makes is alone worthwhile. “Oh come on, Leo. That place's in
Findlay! It takes an hour to get there!”
“It only takes an hour,” Leo corrects him, cheerfully. “It takes seven to get
to Cleveland. Consider yourself lucky.”
“Just to get this straight,” Adam snorts, “I wouldn't wake up before ten
o'clock on a Saturday morning to take you to Cleveland for a fucking comic book
even if you turned out to be an alien.”
Leo laughs. “Right. But you're coming with me to Findlay, aren't you?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Nope.”
Adam sighs as he has been doing for the past twelve years when dealing with
him. “Thought so,” he says, resigned. “Gotta go. Mom must be home by now.
Tomorrow. Ten o'clock. Bus stop. If you're only one minute late, I'll come to
your house, kill you and then go straight back to bed. Are we clear?”
“Crystal clear. See you tomorrow.”
Leo closes the call and smiles. Everything went better than expected. He has
said it aloud, his friends know. Adam doesn't hate him and he managed to guilty
trick him into going with him to the comic book store. Nothing could be better
than this.
Which is exactly why, when the phone rings a couple of seconds later and he
reads Blaine’s name on the display, he lets himself go to a cheery laughter,
taking some moments to bask in this new kind of feeling before answering.
There’s excitement and a little bit of fear, and arousal, and confusion, in the
way his fingers kind of shake as he holds the phone up, looking at Blaine’s
name flashing on the display, and in the way he could not for his life wipe
that smile off his face.
He’s never felt like this, never in his life. He doesn’t know if he should, if
this is the right way to feel about what’s happening or if he’s just seeing too
much into it, but he can’t help himself. Not now, at least. He probably just
doesn’t want to.
“Hello?” he answers, turning on his stomach on the bed.
“Well, hello,” Blaine’s voice is low, flirty, it instantly sets the mood of the
call. Leo likes this about him. That you can always be sure he’ll take care of
the circumstances to make them just as obvious and clear as he wants them to.
It’s easier to deal with embarrassing situations if you at least are clearly
confronted with what they are and what is actually happening. “Took you long
enough to answer.”
“I was busy,” he answers, trying to keep his cool. It’s not easy, though. It’s
exciting to hear a grown up man as experienced as Blaine is flirting with him.
He’s used to high school girls flirting, but this is different. It’s a whole
new thing.
“Were you now,” Blaine chuckles, the sound of his voice coming softly through
the phone. Leo closes his eyes and suddenly it’s all around him. “I just called
to make sure you were alive and your parents hadn’t confined you on the highest
tower of the castle or something,” he says.
“I’m alive and I haven’t been grounded,” Leo giggles, trying to contain
enthusiasm, “I’m rollin’.”
“That’s good to know,” Blaine says. Leo can almost feel his smile on his own
skin. Being with him changed his perception of things. “I figured, after a
couple of days, it was time for me to call.”
“To call,” Leo bites at his bottom lip, excitedly, “What for?”
“As if you didn’t know,” Blaine small laughter melts down Leo’s spine, giving
him shivers all over. He doesn’t notice instantly, but his body’s reaction is
quick, and after a little while he finds himself pressing his crotch against
the mattress, undoubtedly aroused. He chuckles at himself, feeling stupid and
exhilarated all at once. “I’ve got a room at the Holiday Inn,” Blaine says
softly, “Do you think you could find a way to sneak out of the castle and come
find me, little princess?”
“Okay, first, I’m nobody’s little princess, let alone yours,” Leo laughs,
shaking his head as he passes a hand through his hair, “And second, do you even
realize how wrong is it for you to just call me and flirt with me and invite me
over at your hotel room to have sex with me as if it was completely normal?”
“Why, isn’t it?” Blaine jokes. Leo just laughs, and Blaine’s laughter echoes
right after. “I know, I know. What can I say, though? I won’t force you to come
over, and I won’t press to meet again if you prefer us to part ways. Still,”
his voice grows considerably softer, “I’d like to see you.”
Leo holds his breath for a second, trying to contain his smile before it grows
out of his face. “Let’s see,” he says, “I may be able to be there around
dinnertime. You could be my friend Annie. She’s good at science, she always
helps me study when I’m in need.”
Blaine’s answer doesn’t come if not after a couple of seconds of electric
stillness. “And are you in need now?”
The real meaning of the question is clear enough to have Leo blush wildly.
“Yes,” he whispers breathlessly. He can hear his own heart throb in his chest,
it makes such a noise that it fills his ears completely. But Blaine’s voice
comes through it easily, piercing through the noise to reach him despite his
confusion.
It’s just his laughter, at first, but it’s enough to break the tension, let it
flow away. “Alright, then,” he says, “Do I have to wear a wig and speak in a
falsetto voice? Just in case your parents call to check on where you really
are.”
“It’s too soon to wear wigs while we’re together,” Leo chuckles, “Let’s leave
some kink for the future. The real Annie will play her part.”
“We’re set, then,” Blaine says calmly, “Ask of me at the reception, they’ll
tell you where to find me.”
“Even if I’m just fifteen and you’ll look like a sex offender?” Leo mocks him,
and Blaine answers with a soft chuckle.
“I’ll tell them you’re my little brother,” he says, “Better?”
“Ew, Blaine!” Leo makes a face, “I’m coming ‘round to have sex! Don’t put
images in my head. Besides, what if they notice something’s wrong? We don’t
look like brothers at all.”
“Actually,” Blaine muses, “We kind of do.”
“You’re too old to pass as my brother, you dumbass,” Leo chuckles, “More like
my father.”
“This family’s getting complicated, all of a sudden,” Blaine chuckles, and then
sighs. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure to pay them well enough that they don’t
need to notice anything wrong with you, or us for that matter.”
As he feels his stomach tie up in knots, Leo lets another smile surface to his
lips. “Do you really need to go through all this trouble to get laid,
Anderson?” he says, the sound of his own voice surprising him first.
“Now,” Blaine smirks, and Leo can hear him move on the bed, the soft sound of
silk sheets sliding against his skin as he shifts position, “What do you want
to hear from me? That I could go and ask the first person I meet to come have
sex with me, knowing he’d say yes, but I do all of this because I just want
you?”
He does. God, of course he does. “Of course not,” he chuckles, shaking his
head, “It’d be pretty lame if you did. I was just wondering how desperate you
must be.”
“Mmh,” Blaine’s voice is soft, lower than before, hypnotic, “Let me think about
it. To touch you again, to kiss you, to lay you on the same bed I’m lying on
right now…” he smiles softly, and once again Leo can feel it as if he was
smiling on his own lips, “Yes, I’m pretty desperate, if I have to tell you the
truth.”
The sound of Blaine’s voice, combined with the words he’s saying, forces Leo to
stop for a moment, close his eyes and try to actually calm down. There’s some
sort of physical pain, a deep sense of frustration, a numb tension making his
limbs ache, that’s taking possession of his whole body. He’s never had a very
vivid imagination, but Blaine’s voice triggers him greatly, it draws pictures
in his head, and as much as he likes what he sees it’s something that’s also
making him uncomfortable, uneasy.
Then he realizes he’s aching to be touched, and for the first time since he
entered puberty all the gears fall into place, and the machine of his body
starts running smoothly. He’s horny. He’s hard. He wants to be touched, and
Blaine’s convenient. Convenient and good, God, so damn good.
“I’ll give you one reason to fear my coming,” he says in half a whisper,
smiling, “I have high expectations, now, you know that, right? And you will
have to live up to them.”
“Oh, please,” Blaine laughs, mocking him, “You’ve got to be kidding me. Do you
have any idea of how you looked like last time I saw you, in that bathroom? How
can you have high expectations, if you’d have gone crazy for just the slightest
touch of my finger?”
“Shut up,” Leo snorts, turning on his back and crossing his legs, a hand lazily
resting on his stomach left half-uncovered by his movements, “We were in the
bathroom and it was morning and I was… let’s say sleepy. But if I come there, I
expect you to be pretty unforgettable. It could be our last time, y’know? I
won’t settle for less than the first time, if anything I want something better.
You know, all the trouble I’ll be going through just to get to your hotel
room,” he smirks, feeling the warmth of his own skin under his fingertips, “You
better be ready.”
“Just to make it clear,” Blaine chuckles, “I find terribly wrong that we had
our first time two days ago and that today could be our last already. This will
be the shortest affair I ever was in, I should formally complain with your
parents about that.”
“I wouldn’t do that, if I were you,” Leo laughs, “Dad’s gonna kill us both for
this. Or maybe he’ll settle for killing you and just hate me, I don’t know.
Should we test it?”
“We definitely shouldn’t,” Blaine chuckles, and once again Leo can hear him –
almost feel him – shift positions on the bed. “So, what did you tell them? How
come they didn’t ground you? Or are you indeed ground and lying to me about it,
you insolent kid?”
“I’m not lying and I’m not grounded,” Leo snorts again, pouting a little
because he liked Blaine better when they were flirting, surprisingly enough. He
doesn’t want to talk deep feelings and emotions with this man. He actually
couldn’t care less for deep feelings and emotions, that’s not what he’s in it
for. “And I didn’t tell them anything, Kurt just asked me why you of all people
and why couldn’t it be kids my age and so on. You know, the usual. I had to
promise him I wouldn’t see you again, ‘cause apparently I could go fuck half
the students of McKinley High School and he’d be fine with it, as long as none
of them is you.”
Blaine laughs, and Leo almost hopes he doesn’t speak again. His voice is way
more pleasant when it’s not formulating actual words. “That kind of makes
sense, actually,” he says. “So you promised him you wouldn’t see me again?”
“I had to,” Leo shrugs, “I’ve got the feeling he’d start hating me if I
insisted on this. I can’t afford it, maybe I’m still in warranty and he can
give me back if I’m not satisfactory enough.”
“Now, now,” Blaine says, laughing a bit, “I’m sure your dads would never, never
do something similar. They’re just scared, I suppose, because I’m older than
you. Well, a lot older than you, as a matter of fact. I have to admit I’d
probably be scared too, if I were in their shoes. Luckily, though, I’m not,” he
adds in a small chuckle. “So, you promised them you wouldn’t be seeing me
again, and yet here we are, talking about meeting later. That makes us a tragic
couple of lovers from a sad romance novel of the last century. I actually find
it kind of entertaining, it’s like roleplaying.”
Leo’s not sure Blaine’s right when he says his fathers wouldn’t give him back
if they had the chance to. They can’t, so they probably won’t, but now that
Santana’s here and they’re already so caught up with her, one mistake on his
part would probably be enough to lead them away from him completely. Not that
he needs them anymore, at this point, he’s grown up enough no to need his
daddies to come to the rescue and pester him all the time, but still. Maybe
they just like Santana better because she’s related to them – at least to one
of them – or maybe they just want to try again, since their first parental
experiment apparently didn’t come out very well.
He doesn’t want to discuss this with Blaine, though. That’s not what Blaine’s
there for.
“We’re not a couple,” he says, frowning. He can hear the sound of his voice
changing, getting darker, deeper. He knows Blaine will notice. He doesn’t know
how he does it, he doesn’t even know how he can be so sure about it, but he is.
And so, when the sound of Blaine’s voice changes too, and he asks him “Do you
happen to feel alone, sometimes?”, he’s expecting it, but it still hurts. In
some silly, stupid way that he can’t really understand. It’s not like Blaine
can touch him, or better, it’s not like Blaine can touch that trunk buried deep
inside himself where he hid all those things that were better put aside not to
be seen anymore. He hasn’t given him that kind of permission, so Blaine can’t
see those thing, he can’t touch them, they’re safe and locked away.
But he does feel alone. He does feel put aside, he does feel forgotten,
unheard, misunderstood. It happens a lot.
He just prefers not to talk about it. With Blaine, of all people.
“That’s none of your business,” he says. And he knows that, if Blaine doesn’t
change subject right away, he’s gonna interrupt the call and probably never see
him again.
But Blaine chuckles, and it’s like switching the lights on. “Alright, alright,”
he says, “We’ll have time to talk. Some other day. If I live up to your
expectations.”
“Well,” Leo smirks, relaxing on the bed again, “That’s up to you, Anderson.”
“Oh, I’m a very confident guy, if you didn’t notice,” Blaine answers.
Leo giggles lightly, turning on his belly again and settling his pillow under
his chest to lean on it. “Alright, so, tease me. What’s in store for tonight?”
“A-ha,” Blaine chuckles, “No way I’m telling you now. You’ll have to find out
yourself.”
“Oh, come on,” Leo whines, “Not even a hint? I mean, I deserve it.”
“Excuse me?” Blaine mocks him in a faint laughter, “Why would you think you
deserve anything? I can’t think of a single reason.”
“Shut up,” Leo growls, “I just want something to keep me going until tonight.”
He can feel Blaine smile on the other side of town. “That’s sweet,” he says,
“And yes, I think it calls for some kind of recognition. Well,” he sighs,
overdramatically, “Let’s see. What about… uh, you know, my room has a great,
great view.”
Leo arches an eyebrow. “Really?” he asks, not really knowing where Blaine could
be going with this. He had expected something different, something on the line
of ‘you know how I’ll be waiting for you when you come, tonight? Completely
naked on the bed’, for example. What does Blaine think he could care about the
looks of his room?
“Yes,” Blaine says. His voice is deep enough to make Leo forget everything
about complaining. “There’s this big window, and you can see the whole city
through it. I guess we could use that, wouldn’t it be great? I could press you
against that window and as I slowly…” his voice suddenly sounds even deeper,
“Slowly thrust inside of you, you’d feel like you were having sex in the sky,
with the whole city at your feet.”
Leo gulps, shifting uncomfortably on the bed. “Can we actually do that?” he
asks, uncertainly, “I mean, is it possible without anything to lean on?”
Blaine laughs softly, and there’s a tenderness of some sort in his laughter.
“We can do whatever you want, kid,” he says, “Let’s say tonight you’re free to
ask for anything. If something crosses your mind, you tell me, and I’ll give it
to you. I’ll give it all to you.”
“Yeah…” Leo says, uneasily, “That’s the thing, see, I don’t know exactly what
you can… You know,” he swallows and then clears his throat, “Do. Didn’t we
already do everything we possibly could?”
“As a matter of fact,” Blaine laughs, “There’s a lot of things we still have to
try. For example, you didn’t ride me.”
“I didn’t what?”
Blaine laughs again. “Exactly.”
“Would you stop mocking me, already?” Leo pouts. He doesn’t know if Blaine’s
playing with him, speaking with that voice and almost making him crazy with
excitement one moment and then making him feel stupid and ridiculous the moment
after. It’s upsetting, Blaine shouldn’t feel free to act like this. He
shouldn’t let him.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Blaine chuckles again, “You don’t have an idea what
that could mean?”
“I don’t know,” Leo shrugs, embarrassedly, “Half the things I heard of honestly
didn’t even seem possible.”
“Oh, really?” Blaine smiles, “Then, you’ll probably be happy to know that most
of the things you’ve heard of are not only actually possible, but also very
pleasant.”
Leo closes his eyes, sighing. He lets his free hand slide down on himself,
barely touching his crotch. “Right now, almost everything would sound pleasant,
I tell you.”
“Poor thing,” Blaine smirks, “Are you hard?”
“As I am, most of the time,” Leo snorts, “I’m fifteen, remember?” he ends up
chuckling, his hand moving slowly on himself.
“You jailbait,” Blaine laughs. Somewhere in Leo’s brain there’s the knowledge
that Blaine shouldn’t call him that. He shouldn’t feel so at ease with the idea
of flirting so shamelessly with a teenage boy. But then, he probably shouldn’t
feel so at ease while flirting with Blaine either. And yet he does. So maybe
they’re both wrong, and they can be weird together. Leo finds the thought
strangely comforting. “I assume you’re touching yourself, right now,” Blaine
says. Leo looks at his own hand that moves carelessly, as if it was alive with
its own will, and says nothing. “Your voice sounds naughty.”
“It does not,” Leo whines, palming himself through his jeans, “And I’m not.”
“You are,” Blaine chuckles, and Leo sighs.
“Maybe,” he concedes, “Just a bit.”
“Why don’t you do it properly, instead?” Blaine asks, his voice inviting,
hypnotic, “What are you scared of?”
Leo frowns lightly, his fingers slipping past his pants’ waistband and reaching
down for his hard-on. “I’m not scared of anything,” he says, trying to believe
it.
Blaine smiles. “Aren’t you?” he asks in a soft whisper, “And yet, you seemed
pretty scared to me, on that couch. You were trembling all over. You were
shaking even the morning after. And I think your hand’s all shaky even now,
isn’t it?”
Leo breathes in, closing his eyes, his teeth sinking in his bottom lip. “…Just
a bit,” he admits, but his fingers are closing in a fist around his cock, and
he’s already stroking himself.
“Think of my hand covering yours,” Blaine whispers softly, “It’s not shaky, and
it’s holding you firmly enough. It helps you move your hand up and down slowly,
and you go with it.”
Leo moans in frustration, his back arching a little as he feels himself getting
harder under his own fingertips. “It’s gonna be a mess, here,” he whispers, a
faint smile curling his lips upwards as he moans in a low voice.
“That noise you just made,” Blaine hisses, the sound alone enough to cover Leo
with goosebumps, “It sounded so dirty. Do it again. Louder.”
His cheeks turning pinker, his breath growing heavier, his grip around his cock
getting stronger, Leo complies. “Like this?” he asks, his chest moving quickly
up and down to the pace of his labored breath.
“Yes, like this,” Blaine’s voice sounds troubled, to Leo’s ears. Rough and low
and deep, frustration leaking through every word. Leo’s almost sure Blaine’s
not touching himself, his voice sounds almost angry, as if he was willingly
restrain himself from jerking off. Leo’s not an expert, but he knows fooling
around like this over the phone should go both ways. Somewhere in the back of
his mind, there’s the scary knowledge that he’s shivering and shaking on this
bed, his hand around his cock, jerking himself off just because Blaine asked,
while Blaine, troubled by arousal as he is, still manages to keep himself
together and is not even touching himself with a finger. There’s something
terribly wrong, something terribly unbalanced in this, but God, this feels so
good. Blaine’s voice just feels so good. “I’m so hard,” Blaine says, and Leo’s
mind goes back to the burning, overwhelming feeling of his cock inside himself,
thrusting and digging deep inside his body. He bites down hard at his lower
lip, moans and gasps escaping incessantly out of his mouth, “I’m even harder
than I was last time.”
“I don’t think that’s even possible,” he says, his hand moving faster all
around himself, his thumb passing over the head of his cock, teasing it
shamelessly, his mind alive with memories of Blain’s lips closed tight around
his length, and his tongue, and his sucking, and the hot wetness of his hungry
mouth.
“It is,” Blaine says, his voice darker than before, “I wish you were here,
already.”
“Yeah,” Leo whispers, his back arching, frustration and pleasure getting mixed
up in his mind. His hand feels good, but not nearly as good as he knows he’d
feel if Blaine was holding him in his arms. “Me too,” he says, and his voice
almost breaks, his hips moving restlessly to follow the lead of his own
stroking.
“What would you do?” Blaine’s soft voice barely manages to reach him in the
lust-filled place he’s hiding in inside his head, “What would you do if you
were here?”
“I…” Leo gasps hard, his eyes struggling to stay open as he feels himself
giving in to the mounting pleasure, “I… I don’t know,” he whines. He’s not used
to play this game, and as much as he likes it, not knowing what to do, or how
to do it, makes him feel stupid. “I would push myself against you, I guess.”
“Just that?” Blaine asks, a mocking smile clear in his voice, “And wouldn’t you
want to see how hard my cock is?” he goes on, his voice now caressing and soft
again, “Wouldn’t you want to feel it inside of you?”
“Of course I want that!” Leo almost yells, letting out a frustrated moan. He
closes his eyes, his mind crowding with dirty, vivid images once again. “It
would be your mouth, first,” he says, while in his mind blooms a perfect
picture of Blaine dropping on his knees in front of him, “Then your fingers,”
he goes on, almost feeling the firm but delicate touch of Blaine’s fingers on
himself, “And finally,” he whispers with some sort of relief, pleasure pooling
in his belly, letting him know he’s gonna get what he wants soon, “Finally your
cock,” he says through gasps and moans, an amused smile surfacing on his lips,
“If I manage to survive all this.”
A deep, wild moan escapes Blaine’s lips together with a laughter, and the warm
sound lingers in Leo’s ear for a long time, making him feel proud. He forced
that out of Blaine. He’s not completely helpless. He has a power too.
“And wouldn’t you maybe want to try and find out how my body tastes?” Blaine
says, his breath heavy, his body unnaturally still as he resists the urge to
touch himself.
Confusion instantly darkens Leo’s mind to the thought of actually get down and
taste Blaine. There’s a vague, faint curiosity in the back of his mind, but
it’s completely hidden out by fear and awkwardness. Wouldn’t it be strange?
Wouldn’t it be weird? Blaine does it, sure. But does he have to, too?
“I…” he tries, though it’s hard to speak now that his orgasm is so close it’s
almost painful, and he just wants to get it over with, “I don’t—”
And that’s when somebody knocks at his door.
For a split second, Leo doesn't understand what's going on. The sound he just
heard doesn't fit with the mental image he's currently having or the general
feeling of what he's doing. Then, his father's voice pierces through his
fantasy, destroying it. He can even see Blaine's glass image breaking into a
million pieces behind his eyelids, followed by the horrifying realization that
he's not going to come now, which on the threshold of an orgasm is the worst
feeling of all.
“Leo?” His father calls again. Dave's low voice is uncertain and questioning,
but at least he doesn't seem on the verge of bursting in. Anyway, this doesn't
stop Leo from looking at the door with sheer horror in his eyes.
“Shit!” He scrambles up, pulling up his pants as he balances the phone against
his shoulder. His voice automatically drops to a whisper when he speaks to
Blaine. “I gotta go. Dad's here. I'll see you later.” Then he hangs up and
tries to be as natural as he can be, answering his father's call. “Yes?”
On the other side of the door, Dave doesn't seem to notice the amount of time
it took him to answer. He probably thinks Leo had earphones in his ears or
something. That wouldn't be the first time. “Can I come in?”
“Just...” Leo is fidgeting around the bed as he tries to put himself together.
No matter the danger behind the door and the embarrassment, his outraged
erection is still making his presence painfully known, as he could do something
about it right now. Leo tries to think of granny – hoping Carol's image can
dismiss the faint traces of Blaine's – but he only manages to make himself
sick, so he just stops and fumbles with his pants to hide it a little. “Wait a
second.”
Dave refrains from leaning on the door, but he comes really close to it. “Is
everything alright?”
“Yeah, yeah. I'm fine.” Leo gives one last look at the room, as if his phone
call with Blaine could have left any physical traces on the bed he was lying on
other than on his body. But the room is messy as it always is. Nothing seems
more out of place than usual, so Leo thinks it's safe to open the door. “Hi,”
he waves at his father, the other hand stuck in the pocket of his pants.
“Er... Hi,” Dave feels kind of uncomfortable. They haven't been speaking much
in the past few days – they have barely greeted each other on the way in and
out of the house – and since the last time he exchanged more than two words
with his son was right after the incident, now it's awkward for Dave to look
Leo in the eyes. Luckily, his son seems to have the same problem. “Look, can we
talk for a moment?”
Leo knew this moment would come, but he was honestly hoping it would come
later. He had Kurt's lecture already, so Dave's was obviously due too – but he
really doesn't want to hear Blaine's name right now. “Yes... um... sure,” he
says and opens the door completely, inviting his father in. “Grab a spot
somewhere.”
Dave watches Leo as he crawls back on his bed, which is more of a nest,
actually. A place where he puts everything he needs, that he has recently used,
read or watched, or for which there's no other place. Dave sits on the bed too,
since the only chair in the room is covered in clothes. “How many years have
passed since the last time you cleaned up this mess?” He asks, looking around.
“Actually, it's been only a week,” Leo says. “Daddy wants me to clean it up
every Monday.”
Even though that statement doesn't even begin to describe the act of terrorism
that takes place at the beginning of every given week, when Kurt shows up with
a vacuum and threatens to throw away anything that at the end of the day won't
have a proper place. Leo is forced to push everything in the wardrobe once a
week to save his various collections, and he dreads the day his father will
find out about it.
“Then how come it's already this messy?” Dave arches an eyebrow, retrieving an
action figure from under his leg. “It's just Thursday.”
“It's not messy. It's creative.”
Dave laughs a bit. “Yeah, sure,” he concedes. Then, he becomes serious again.
“So, I talked to your father and he told me about... the conversation you had
the other day.”
Leo shifts uncomfortably, something that he seems to do a lot these days.
That conversation with his father was awkward as hell, let alone irritating –
as most of his conversations with Kurt are, lately. He is not sure why Dave is
bringing this up again. Kurt seemed okay with the lies he has told him, and
honestly Leo thought his parents talked about it that night. “Um... yeah?”
Dave has never been the father who talks about feelings. That one is Kurt.
Dave's the dad who taught him how to ride a bike, who plays football with him –
even if Leo has lost interest in this sport when he was ten or eleven – and who
will give him driving lessons as soon as the right moment comes. He is not
supposed to be facing this kind of problems, especially if a 35 years old man
is involved.
“Well, he told me you haven't invested much in this...” Dave tries to find the
right words to say it and it's not easy. “...this thing that unfortunately
happened with that man.”
Leo doesn't know what happened, exactly. So thing looks like the right way to
put it. That's how he calls it anyway. “If you mean that I'm not in love with
him, I'm not,” he confirms. He's a little tired of having to repeat this over
and over again. It's easy to ignore that awkward feeling that comes when
speaking about what happens, if he doesn't have to acknowledged it. “It was
what it was.”
Dave nods. “That's exactly what I meant,” he says. “He also told me that you're
alright with not seeing him ever again, which is very fine by me.”
Leo doesn't like to lie to his parents. He does, if he has to – it's not like
he feels morally obligated to be truthful to them. After all, he is fifteen –
but it's not something he takes pleasure in, and he has lied more in these past
few days than in his entire life. Luckily, his father doesn't give him the time
to answer and keeps talking.
“You know, Leo,” He says, “I want you to understand that I'm not going to
interfere with your experiences in any way. I'm just worried for you. I... I
think you should be free to do whatever you want with your body, if what you're
doing is safe. And Blaine wasn't safe at all. But, him put aside, I'm with you
whatever you want to do.”
Kurt has said the same things to him, so either they don't talk with each other
or they really just want to repeat the same concept over and over again, hoping
that will help him understand that Blaine is evil. It's highly ridiculous that
their biggest problem is Blaine, and not the fact that he's 35 years old. That
always comes after, only when they understand that Blaine being Blaine is not
an issue for Leo. Not that Blaine's age is an issue. Leo is not in love. Leo
doesn't want a relationship. Leo just liked the sex with him, and he'd like to
have some more of it, possibly within the next six hours. Anyway, if a No, I
don't need to see him anymore can make them both give up the fight, he can give
them that.
“I know, and I'm not here planning a wedding,” he says, accurately choosing his
words so not to lie again. “So you can stop hating me, now.”
“But I don't--” Dave sighs, realizing that walking away after the mess and
never really talking to him until now could have given to his son that
impression. He reaches out and brushes his hair, tenderly. “I don't hate you,
Leo. You're my son. My heir. How could I ever hate you? I was just angry and
worried and I couldn't understand, but I never, never hated you, and I will
never hate you, come what may.”
Leo doesn't look very convinced. Besides, he strongly believes in his own
theory about return policies for adopted children. “Even if I do something you
don't like again?” He asks. He's actually testing the waters, but his father
just thinks he's talking about what has already happened.
“Of course, buddy. I may be angry and disappointed, but love? That's a whole
different thing. That lasts forever.”
Leo wasn't expecting him to say that he would give him back – he rationally
knows Dave can't do that, but that's beyond the point – but it's not like he
really believes his father, anyway. He knows Dave just gave him the answer he
was supposed to give, like he himself is doing. So he gives his father a half
smile, and then he pauses. “Dad?”
Dave is smiling too, happy of this father-son moment. They have hardly enough
these days. “Yes?”
“Daddy told you everything we said?”
“Well, more or less. I think he spared me the dirty details, if you gave him
any.”
Leo giggles. His father's face is priceless as he tries not to think about
dirty details that weren't given to him but that are now showing up in his mind
anyway. “I didn't, but I confessed something to him,” he says. “And he just
didn't seem to think it was a big deal.”
Dave arches an eyebrow. That does sound like Kurt, indeed. His husband is a
sweet creature, with the annoying habit of casually dismissing things he
doesn't believe in. “What would that be?”
Leo doesn't know why he's telling this again. Maybe because this was an
important thing for him and Kurt didn't even listen to him. One father out of
two who actually bothers to hear him out would be nice. “I think I like both
girls and boys,” he explains. Saying this doesn't make him nervous, but the
answer he could get actually does. “And first he said I'm just confused, than
that it's just an excuse gay guys say to feel normal, but I don't feel that way
at all.”
“Oh, God.” Dave's exclamation is resigned and spontaneous as he rolls his eyes.
“You know, Leo, your father is a wonderful man. He's strong and smart and
confident and beautiful, but he's stubborn, too, and most of all, he's a
dickhead when it comes to bisexuality.”
Leo understood that much, but it doesn't make sense to him. “I don't
understand,” he shrugs. “If he likes boys, why I can't like both?”
Dave nods, with resignation in his eyes. Leo can only imagine how many
arguments like that he must have had with Kurt. “Yeah, your aunt Santana tried
so hard to make him understand, but I guess that if she failed no one will ever
make it,” he sighs as the the image of Santana giving up on Kurt and walking
away as she mumbles in Spanish, forms in both his and Leo's heads. “He's
just... you know, a lot of gay guys just happen to think you can like boys or
girls, whatever stands in the middle is just a lie, or a way to feel less
strange. I don't think that's right. I think you are who you are, whoever you
like.”
That's comforting. It makes Leo feel better knowing that at least one of his
fathers doesn't think he's saying stupid things. Also, this gives him the cue
he needed. “So you won't mind if I go see a girl for a change, tonight?” He
asks, smirking.
“I don't! I'm actually very happy if you do so. Do it,” Dave instantly says.
Apparently, anything is better than Blaine. It doesn't even matter who this
girl is. If Leo played it well – and he really didn't want to go to Blaine's –
he could have gone away with everything.
“Thanks. It won't be so romantic, though. Annie is trying to make me get at
least a C in biology, so...”
“Oh, now I'm almost disappointed,” Dave laughs. “Here I was, already imagining
how beautiful our nephews would be.”
Leo makes a face. “Don't worry, it's too early for nephews.”
“Believe me, this makes me very happy,” he sighs in relief. The last thing he
needs right now is teen pregnancy.
“When the time comes, your nephews will be beautiful and you'll have an entire
football team of them. I promise,” Leo says, thinking that it's safe to promise
his father that. After all, he might be okay with having children in twenty
years.
For a moment, Dave is too busy imagining himself as he coaches his own football
team composed by just his nephews, to answer. Suddenly, life is wonderful
again. Then, he remembers that it's still year 2031 and hopefully they all have
a long way to go before this fantasy can become real. “So, when do you have to
go?”
“We're having dinner together and then study.”
Dave nods again. “Alright. Do you need me to come pick you up when you're
finished?”
“No!” Leo says quickly. “Don't worry. She'll drive me home or I'll take the
bus.”
Dave – as well as Kurt – is very protective, so the idea of his son walking
around the city alone after dinner doesn't go well with him. It's ironic how
the worst thing happened to Leo so far was at home. “What if you stays overtime
and it's too late to come back come alone?”
“As I said,” Leo insists, throwing random books in his backpack, “She can drive
me home. And if not, I can stay there. There are several guest rooms in her
house.”
Dave still doesn't seem convinced, but the one Leo's giving him is a valid
argument and he can't argue with that, so he nods. “Just make sure you let me
know what you do”, he says. “Do you need me to drive you to Annie's? Your
father can stay with Santana.”
God, why can't his father just leave it and be okay with the fact that he can
walk to Annie's on his own? Especially when Blaine's hotel is way closer than
Annie's one hundred millions dollars house? “No, that's okay, I can take the
bus,” he says, smiling as reassuringly as he possibly can. “You stay with dad.
You know how he gets when he has to take care of Tana alone, if she's grumpy.
You don't want him to feel abandoned. Do you remember last time?”
Dave shivers at the thought. He went to the match with Leo for two hours and he
had to sleep on the couch for almost a week, because Kurt felt that he had been
left alone taking care of their baby girl and acted like Dave had left for
good, making a single mom of him or something. “You may be right”, Dave agrees.
“Okay, then. Just call later, so I know where you're gonna spend the night.”
Leo smiles. “I will,” he says, looking like the most innocent guy in the world
as he zips up his backpack full of books he won't need at all. He waits for his
father to leave the room and close the door again, then he sighs in relief. He
wasn't really expecting to go away with it. But if he managed, then he can do
everything.
He gives his bed one more loving look.
He's gonna resume what he was doing in another bed, in another room and not
alone. He smirks, both stupidly embarrassed and excited. Then he grabs his
backpack and he's off to Blaine's.
End Notes
     Please note that the title of this chapter, as well as all the other
     titles for future chapters, is used in a metaphorical way, using
     psychiatic terminology only to set the mood and the main topic of the
     chapter and not in any way to indicate mental illnesses or anything
     similar. At least for now.
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