Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/6241864. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Supernatural Relationship: Dean_Winchester/Sam_Winchester Character: Sam_Winchester, Dean_Winchester, Sam/Dean_-_Character Additional Tags: Dean_Winchester/Sam_Winchester_-_Freeform, Angst, Romance, Underage_Sex, Pre-Stanford, Rimming, m/m_-_Freeform, Wincest_-_Freeform, Sam_is seventeen Stats: Published: 2016-03-13 Words: 1946 ****** Breaking the Habit ****** by MAWgirl2000 Summary It's the summer late right before Sam goes off to Stanford. He hasn't told anyone, including the brother he's in love with. He doesn't want to hurt Dean, but he needs away from their father. This is the months and weeks leading up to his departure, with one last night between him and Dean because he can't help himself, knowing he'll never have his brother like after that night. "Hey, baby boy." Sam looks up, and smiles at his big brother. He's at the small, round table in their Motel 6 room, in Bumbfuck, Nowhere. Sam stopped paying attention to where they're at awhile ago. He doesn't really care, 'cause he just sits inside a motel room while his father and older brother get in on the real action. He doesn't mind not being involved anymore. He doesn't like hunting; he wants out.   Soon enough, soon enough, Sam silently reminds himself. He's seventeen, and he'll be eighteen in four months, and then he's outta there, and off to California. His acceptance letter came in from Standford at his uncle Bobby's house two months ago, back in May. Nobody except for Bobby knows what his plans are. His father would have a shitfit, and he doesn't even wanna think about how Dean will react. So, he keeps his mind occupied; he reads as much as he can, and it helps enough - until he's alone with his brother, and then the guilt creeps back in.   "You okay over there, Sammy?" Sam looks up, startled out of his thoughts. Dean's looking at him, half concerned and half amused. Sam nods. "Y-yeah... Just stuck in m'own head, again." He tries for a smirk, and somehow manages one.   Dean nods, amusement twinkling in his vibrant green eyes. "So, where'd Dad go off to this time?" Sam asks. Dean shrugs. "Dunno, said he won't be back for a few days." Sam acknowledges him and then turns back to his book. A few moments later, he hears movement, and he sees Dean get up off one of the two beds, and walk over to him. He pretends to be engrossed in his book, until he feels Dean behind him, and a moment later, his hands on his shoulders.   "Whatcha doin', Sammy?" Dean inquires, kneading Sam's muscles. Sam's too distracted by his brother's hands, hands that were on his body yesterday while John was away. They steal any alone time they can get.   "Reading," Sam says quietly. Dean hums in response.   "Feel like takin' a break?" He asks his little brother.   Sam could hear the smirk in his brother’s voice. He eventually caves in, getting up to face Dean. Dean smirks at him, and Sam bites his lower lip. “Well,” Sam starts. “We doin’ this or not?” Dean rolls his eyes, and pushes his brother onto one of the beds, saying, “Pushy, pushy.”   Two months before. . .   Sam’s started to back away from Dean. He thinks it will be easier this way, that maybe if he starts weaning both he and brother now, then maybe it will hurt less when that not-so-far-off-now day comes. Dean notices his baby brother becoming more and more distant from him, but he doesn’t say anything.     One month before. . .   “Sammy?” Dean asks hesitantly from his position on the motel bed. They’re in yet another rented room, in yet another different state, and on yet another freaking hunt.   Well, John was on a hunt. Sam had chosen to stay behind this time, trying to put some more distance between he and his brother, but to his mild surprise, Dean chose to stay back with him. He knows that Dean can sense that something is going on, that he’s not stupid, nor is he blind. Still, Dean hasn’t brought it up until now.   “What’s goin’ on, Sammy?” Dean questions again.   Sam exhales slowly.   “Nothin’, Dean.” He puts on a fake smile. “You sure?” Dean asks again. Mustering enough courage, Sam responds with, “Yeah, Dean, everything’s good.” He knows that Dean doesn’t believe him, but his brother doesn’t debate it any further, and Sam is thankful.     Three weeks before. . .   They’re still in the same state, same room, as they were almost four weeks ago. Sam’s reading his acceptance letter one night when his brother comes back from a bar. “Dad left,” Sam says quietly, not looking up. He hears Dean snort in response. “Shocker,” Dean mutters sarcastically. Sam ignores him as his brother starts stripping off his clothes, indicating he’s about to shower. Dean confirms that when he asks if Sam wants to join him. Sam declines, claiming he’s tired. Dean frowns but doesn’t say anything else. He just heads to the bathroom and starts his shower, all the while trying to ignore the feeling in his gut that he’s missing something.     One week before. . .   “Damn it, Sam! I know there’s somethin’ goin’ on!” Dean yells one night. They’re in Kansas, chasing a Shifter. Sam’s been pulling further and further away, and Dean’s had enough. He can’t take the ever-growing distance between them.   Sam flinches at the statement. He doesn’t know what to say. He knows that he needs to tell him soon, because he’ll be on his way to California next week, but he just doesn’t know how. He knows that he’s hurting his brother by doing this, but he doesn’t know what else to do.   “Dean. . .” He trails off.   Dean crosses the short space between them, and stands in front of his brother, and makes Sam look at him. He narrows his eyes.   “What the hell is goin’ on with you lately, Sam?” He questions.   He tries to read Sam’s face, his eyes, but he’s got a mask plastered on his features, and Dean can’t read past it. It scares him; he’s always been able to read his baby brother like an open book.   Sam sighs quietly, shaking his head.   Dean looks at him questioningly, but Sam stays silent. Knowing that his brother is upset, but not knowing what else to do because Sam’s shutting him out, Dean leans down and goes to kiss him. Sam lets him, but doesn’t reciprocate. That’s a first, and worries Dean even more.     One night before. . .   “Dean,” Sam sighs against Dean’s lips. They’re lying on the bed in their current room, with Dean half on top of him, kissing and gently nipping his bottom lip.   “Yeah baby boy?” Dean asks.   When Sam doesn’t reply, instead he just leans in and kisses Dean, Dean decides to just go with it, and he situates himself fully on Sam. He braces himself on his elbows, softly kissing his little brother. He smirks a little when he’s pulled closer, and he parts his lips to gently, tentatively snaking out his tongue and petting against Sam’s lower lip. Sam obliges, parting his lips just enough for his brother to slip inside and meets Dean halfway. Sam’s hands move slowly over Dean’s back, moving them from his hips up to his neck and then back again. He’s trying to commit everything about Dean to memory, because come tomorrow he’ll no longer have this.   That thought alone hurts so much, but Sam can’t take hunting anymore. He loves his older brother, but he needs out. He hates the constant moving around, living in different motels in different states. Most of all, he needs away from their father.   Sam tugs at Dean’s shirt, and getting the hint, his brother sits up briefly and pulls it off, along with Sam’s, tossing both to the carpeted floor. Next, he gets them both out of their boxers, then resituates himself further down Sam’s body, and comes face to face with his cock. Dean leans down and licks at the head, smirking when Sam inhales deeply. He licks at it a few more times before guiding it into his mouth. Sam groans at the wet, heated contact, and tries to thrust up but can’t because Dean’s holding onto his hips as he sucks. He takes Sam in more until he can’t, and starts bobbing his head up and down slowly, knowing it drives his little brother crazy.   “Dean. . .” Sam sighs.   Dean looks up at him, Sam’s cock still in his mouth and head still bobbing slowly, and looks at him not-so-innocently.   “Dean, fuck,” Sam breathes out. Since he can’t do much else, he settles for putting his hand in his brother’s short hair, twining his fingers in it and pulling gently. He bobs his head and licks for a few more moments, then pulls off, earning himself a whine from his brother. Dean laughs softly and doesn’t say anything. He lifts one of Sam’s legs up and over his shoulder, pulling Sam toward him more. With Sam’s ass close enough to his face now, Dean tells Sam to keep hold of his legs. Sam gets a grip on his legs and holds them towards his own body, knowing what Dean’s about to do. Dean licks his balls, and then downwards, stopping at Sam’s hole. Sam whimpers quietly, wanting more. Dean grins and gives in, flattening his tongue and running it up Sam’s hole. Sam gasps softly. Dean keeps it up, every other few movements poking the tip of his tongue into Sam. Sam rocks down into the touch as much as he can, trying to keep the grip on his legs. Dean leans in further and seals his mouth over Sam’s clenching hole and sucks. He tongue fucks his hole like he would Sam’s mouth, and alternates between flattening his tongue and pushing inside. He takes his hands and spreads Sam’s cheeks as wide as he can, and gets a little more access.   “Fuck,” Sam cusses, rocking into his brother’s mouth as best he can.   Finally taking some pity on his baby brother, Dean pulls away and lets Sam release his hold on his thighs, and instead drapes them over his shoulders as he tells Sam to grab the bottle of lube from the bedside table. Sam does and uncaps it, pours some into his palm. Knowing what it does for Dean when he lubes himself up, he does just that, pushing one, and then two fingers into himself. He watches his brother watching his movements, watches as Sam’s fingers move in and out of his ass steadily. He still believes that Sam has a slight pain kink. When Sam’s up to three fingers, Dean can’t take it anymore.   “Shit—fuck, Sam, ‘nough,” Dean grits out.   Sam listens and removes his fingers from himself. He hands Dean the lube and watches as his brother pours a good amount into his hand, and slicks himself up. He keeps eye contact with him as Dean aligns himself up with Sam, and gently starts to push in. After just the tip is in, Dean pauses to gauge how Sam is. Sam nods his head, silently telling his brother to keep going. Dean listens and pushes forward more, going too slowly for Sam’s liking, but he slides inside him in one slow fluid move. When he bottoms out, Dean leans forward and, pressing Sam’s legs up against his chest, he braces himself on his hands and withdraws slowly, watching his brother the entire time. Sam’s eyes are closed tightly, and Dean pushes back in at a little quicker pace. Sam can’t help the grunt that escapes him when Dean repeats this movement several, gradually picking up the pace, and eventually gets a good rhythm going. Dean leans down as he moves inside Sam, and kisses his brother. Sam kisses him back automatically, and begs for more. Faster, faster, more, please more, he needs it. He needs to feel his brother inside him tonight, as much as he can, because this is the last time he’ll have this. Tears threaten Sam’s eyes, and he tries to suppress them, and grabs his brother’s face, kissing him roughly, deeply.   Dean grunts as he kisses back, picking up his pace, going harder and faster. He listens to Sam’s heavy breathing, listens to how Sam can’t keep in the small sounds that spill out of his mouth, and they match each other’s pace and rhythm. Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!