Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/3439802.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Animorphs_-_Katherine_A._Applegate
  Relationship:
      Jake_Berenson/Marco_(Animorphs)
  Character:
      Jake_Berenson, Marco_(Animorphs)
  Additional Tags:
      Dom/sub, dom!marco, Sub!Jake, Orgasm_Delay/Denial
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-02-26 Words: 2909
****** Break or Conjoin ******
by PoliticalBloodTea
Summary
     The Animorphs depended on Jake to hold it together, Marco was the
     only one who let him break when he needed to.
It started at the very beginning of the end.  The night they fled into the
forest, everyone running from an enemy who finally knew their names.  Everyone
besides Jake’s family.  Even Tobias had a brand new parent with him, but Jake
had lost everyone.  He felt like his intestines were being blended and
extracted, like the anesthetic technology built into morphing had suddenly
stopped working.  He was sure the only thing he was capable of was curling
around the pain and screaming.
He didn’t have the time for that, though, he had to organize everyone, try to
get his friends’ parents used to living among seven foot tall aliens, try to
prepare everyone for the different ways they would have to fight in this newly
escalated war, like he had any experience to lean on, any reason for anyone to
listen to him.  He had no idea what he was doing, most of the time he didn’t
even know what he was feeling, and he knew his leadership was slipping.  He was
being tested on all sides by people who suddenly didn’t want to listen to him,
or trust him to lead them, and he didn’t have the strength to fight back.  He
just wanted to stop for while, let someone else give the orders for once.
It all fell apart, suddenly, over something so stupid.  Such a small question.
 He had been putting together an attack plan for a battle simulations when
Marco suddenly said, “Are you sure?”  The urge to hit Marco was so strong and
sudden it made Jake’s head spin.
“The rest of you can go,” Jake snapped, glaring hard at Marco.  Marco looked
surprised, but quickly fired back with his own glare.  Marco didn’t even know
why he was glaring, it was just second nature to return any challenges,
especially from Jake, the way he had been behaving lately.  He held his ground
as Jake stalked towards him, but instead of stopping Jake grabbed a handful of
Marco’s shirt and dragged him towards the trees bordering the clearing they had
been meeting in.  No one had even had the opportunity to leave yet, they all
stood watching Marco and Jake, concern and confusion on their faces.  He could
tell Cassie wanted to follow, but Marco held up a hand subtly, telling her to
stay, he could handle it.
Marco waited until he was out of their sight to pry Jake’s hand off his shirt.
 “What the hell man?”
Jake’s face was stormy and dangerous.  Marco could see that he was practically
panting with anger.  He could tell that this was the start of the breakdown he
had seen coming for days.  He knew Jake was going to eventually snap the moment
they all realized his parents were lost to the Yeerks.  That was okay, Marco
thought.  Better for Jake to blow up with only Marco as witness.  A public
collapse would be messy and might break whatever morale the group had left.
 Marco was Jake’s best friend, he could handle whatever Jake needed to throw at
him.
“What was that back there?” Jake demanded.
Marco spread his palms wide, “I just asked a question, Big Jake.”
“Don’t call me that,” Jake hissed between gritted teeth.
Marco almost hated pushing Jake any further.  Jake was in enough pain without
Marco purposefully poking him with a stick, but it was like draining an
infected wound, awful and necessary if you wanted to save the patient.
“Well if we’re not allowed to ask questions anymore would you prefer Herr
Berenson?”  Marco quirked an eyebrow and felt like a complete asshole.
Jake took a sudden step towards Marco, but Marco refused to flinch.  Jake froze
and tried to collect himself, but his deep breaths turned sharply towards near-
hyperventilation.  “Jesus christ Marco!” Jake shouted.  Marco almost felt
vindicated.  “I am just trying to keep everyone safe here!  Can’t you just shut
up and let me do my job?”
Marco knew what to say next.  He didn’t want to, but Jake was so close to
breaking and Marco was the only one who could make sure it was a controlled
burn.  “Yeah?  Who put you in charge?”
It was a ridiculous question.  They’d been fighting a war for three years under
Jake’s leadership.  If Jake had been thinking clearly he probably would have
laughed, instead he lunged at Marco, teeth bared and hands clawed, and Marco
had a split second to think, jesus christ he only knows how to fight like a
tiger, before he found himself on the forest floor, Jake an angry weight on top
of him.
“You did!” Jake roared in his face.  “You all did!” He clawed at Marco’s face
and Marco jerked away.  Jake was bigger and heavier but Marco had years of
experience wrestling him and flipped them, Marco suddenly on top and Jake
thrashing underneath him.
Marco tried to pin Jake’s limbs down, kneeling on his thighs and pressing his
wrists down into the ground.  “You all did this!”  Jake shouted as he wrenched
one of his arms out of Marco’s grip and seemed to suddenly remember that humans
use fists when they fight, because Marco was hit with a solid weight that made
his vision blur and his head spin for a second.  “You did this to me!” Jake
shouted.
Marco caught Jake’s free arm again and repinned it.  He had gotten what he
wanted, and now it was time to try to put Jake back together.  Jake wouldn’t
hear anything he had to say while he was still full of rage, so Marco waited
him out, keeping him pinned.  It was hard work, Jake struggling and growling -
past words, Marco trying to keep him still, and they were both panting by the
time Jake tired himself out.  He just stopped suddenly, going completely still
under Marco.  Marco knew better than to think it was over.
Jake’s face crumpled into tears as suddenly as he had stopped fighting Marco.
 He turned his head away and started pulling against Marco again, but Marco
could tell Jake was trying to get away from him, not fight him.  There was
nowhere for him to go, Marco wasn’t going to let him go until this was done.
 He had to show mercy, though, in the face of Jake’s anguish.  “Okay, it’s
alright.”  He tried to summon the voice his mother used to use when he had a
nightmare.
Jake pushed the side of his own face into the forest floor, trying to hide.  He
bucked and arched, trying to throw Marco off.  Marco had never seen Jake like
this, but Jake had seen Marco immediately after his mother had disappeared.
 Jake was mourning, and Marco refused to let him feel shame for that.  “Jake,
it’s alright.  Just let it go, it’s okay.  You’re allowed to do this.  Tell
me.”
“I couldn’t save them,” Jake sobbed.  “I can’t save anyone.  I don’t want to do
this anymore.  I can’t.  Please,” Jake begged.
Marco felt his own eyes well up, and he hoped Jake didn’t notice the tears that
hit his shirt.  Marco sniffed and squeezed Jake’s wrists tighter to ground
himself, it seemed to settle Jake too.  “Just tell me what you need,” Marco
said, squeezing again.
Jake took hitching but deep breaths, slowly coming down.  He looked like he
might not answer, but Marco couldn’t let him get away with that.  He pressed
Jake’s wrists harder into the forest floor and resettled the knees he had over
Jake’s thighs, reminding him that Marco had him pinned completely.  Jake’s
breath hitched in a different way and he pushed back against Marco, his hips
rolled instead of bucked this time.  Marco felt his heart speed up.  He knew
part of him had been expecting this, why else would he ask Jake what he needed?
 “Tell me,” Marco insisted.
“This,” Jake said, turning his face away and rolling his hips again.
Marco let go of one of Jake’s wrists, but Jake didn’t try to reclaim it, he
just let it lay there.  Marco gently took Jake’s chin in his hand, tilting
Jake’s face towards him.  “Tell me,” Marco repeated.
Jake locked eyes with him, almost a dare, like he thought Marco wouldn’t do it.
 He should have known better than that.  “This,” Jake said again.
Marco nodded and leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to Jake’s lips.  It felt
weird, kissing his best friend, but things were about to get weirder, and Marco
wanted to be gentle after what he had just put Jake through.  Marco pulled back
slightly.  “You need me to be in charge for awhile, Big Jake?” Jake hissed
against the nickname but didn’t pull away.  Marco sat up and grinned.  “Good
boy.”  He’d meant it as a joke Jake’s hips bucked in response and Marco could
feel that he was already getting hard.
One of Jake’s hands was still free, so Marco pushed Jake’s wrists together
above his head and took them both in one hand.  Marco’s hand was almost too
small, but all he needed to do was apply pressure, he didn’t think Jake would
fight him again.  Marco slid his knees off of Jake’s thighs, moving them so
they bracketed Jake’s hips.  Marco used his free hand to undo Jake’s jeans.  It
wasn’t the easiest thing in the world but Marco would be lying if he said he
hadn’t practiced this move to use on future girlfriends and boyfriends.  Jake
lay perfectly still and let Marco undress him.
Jake was wearing his morphing suit under his clothes and the tight spandex
outlined Jake’s cock.  Marco squeezed Jake’s wrists reflexively and he saw
Jake’s cock twitch in response.  This was real, they were really doing this.
 Marco gathered himself before he looked back up at Jake.  He couldn’t be
nervous, Jake needed him to be calm and in control.  Jake’s face was flushed
and his eyes were a mix of emotion.  Marco could see arousal and a little bit
of lingering shame.  Marco needed to tread carefully.  He worked the bike
shorts down Jake’s hips, never breaking eye contact.  He scratched his nails
over the exposed skin on Jake’s stomach above his cock, hard enough to leave
red lines.  The pain grounded Jake.
“Ask,” Marco said.
Jake hesitated and Marco scratched him again, making Jake’s back arch.
 “Please,” Jake breathed.
Marco closed his hand around Jake’s cock and squeezed.  “Jesus christ!” Jake
shouted, sounding pained, and Marco realized that he was the first person to
touch Jake’s cock besides Jake himself.  Jake wasn’t Marco’s first, because
when you were trapped in a war that could end in the destruction of the human
race Marco didn’t see the point of not finding the easiest girl in school and
spending some time with her under the bleachers.
Marco felt like he should stop.  Jake’s first time shouldn’t be some messed up
power play in the forest while he was in the middle of an emotional breakdown.
 Marco wanted to help, he didn’t want to make Jake hurt more.
Marco loosened his grip around Jake’s cock, just letting it rest in his hand.
 “Tell me you need this,” he said to Jake.  “Tell me or I stop.”
Jake swallowed.  “Please, I do.  Need someone else to...”  He trailed off but
Marco could fill in the blanks, Jake needed someone else to call the shots
once.
Marco took a deep breath.  Okay, he could do that.  He stroked experimentally
over Jake’s cock, dry skin catching uncomfortably, making Jake hiss.  He could
tell Jake liked the pain, but Marco really didn’t want to hurt him too much,
physically.  He held his hand in front of Jake’s face.  “Lick,” he commanded.
 He held his palm away just far enough that Jake had to strain his neck and
pull against Marco’s hand holding down his wrists.  His tongue moved soft and
wet over Marco’s hand and he felt his own cock become interested for the first
time.  He ignored it, this time was for Jake.  He could find somewhere else to
jerk off later.
The slide was much smoother when he wrapped his fingers around Jake’s cock
again, and Jake moaned this time.  “Good,” Marco said, and then, remembering
how Jake had reacted before, “Good boy.”  Jake groaned his name.
Jake’s cock was hot and hard in his hand, he jerked fast and hard, wanting to
test Jake’s control.  “Tell me before you come,” Marco said, watching Jake nod
in response.  Marco swiped his thumb across Jake’s slit and enjoyed watching
him squirm and pant.  He could already see the body Jake would grow into if
they survived the war, his shoulders already broad and strong.  His stomach was
still soft with a layer of baby fat but Marco could see the muscle rippling
underneath.  It was a good view.  He flexed his hand around Jake’s wrist,
almost like a reward.
“Gonna come,” Jake warned, and Marco immediately let go of his cock.  “Marco!”
Jake shouted, startled and frustrated.
Marco placed his hand over Jake’s chest, feeling his heart pound.  “Calm down.
 You only get to come when I tell you you can, okay?”  If Jake wanted orders
Marco could do orders.  There was a stubborn light in Jake’s eyes and Marco
almost smiled to see a hint of his best friend back.  “Okay?” he repeated, more
forcefully.  Jake nodded silently.  “Good boy.”  Jake swallowed.
The hand Marco was using to hold Jake’s wrists together were starting to cramp.
 “I’m going to let your arms go but I don’t want you to move them.  Keep them
right there.”  Marco lifted his hands and Jake kept still.  Marco leaned back,
looking at Jake spread out underneath him.  The sight made his own cock ache
and Marco gave in and gave it a sympathetic squeeze, Jake's eyes immediately
fell to Marco’s hand.  “No,” Marco said.  “I'm good.”  Marco thought Jake
almost looked disappointed and he had to pull his hand away from himself before
he lost it.
Jake’s breathing had calmed down and he no longer looked like he was on the
edge of coming, so Marco thought it was safe to touch him again.  He pulled
Jake’s shorts down farther, easier now that he could use both hands.  Jake’s
skin was exposed from belly button to thigh and Marco raked his nails down the
entire length, hard and slow.
“Jesus,” Jake slurred.  Marco did it again and Jake shuddered but didn’t say a
word, eyes drifting halfway closed.  His arms stayed put, stretched over his
head.  Marco pressed one hand over Jake’s thigh, pressing hard against the hot
red marks, the other hand he closed around Jake’s cock again, wet more from
precome than spit now.
He worked Jake until he was close to the end again, then let go.  Jake barely
even protested.  “You’re doing good, Jake.”  Jake seemed to melt under the
praise.  Marco started stroking him again.  “You did good, Big Jake.  You can
come whenever you want.”
He expected Jake to go wild, bucking into Marco’s hand, but instead he lay
quietly, breathing deeply, still watching Marco with half-lidded eyes.  It was
a surprise when he suddenly arched and came, come hitting his stomach and
running down Marco’s hand.  Marco was in awe at the sight of Jake’s body as it
convulsed, too distracted to remember to stop touching Jake’s cock until Jake
twisted his hips away.
Marco let him go and instead rested his hands on Jake’s sides, feeling his
breathing slow as he came down.  When Jake was calm and quiet under Marco’s
hands he worked Jake’s pants and shorts all the way off, using the shorts to
wipe off Jake’s stomach and his own hand.  Jake’s backside was  covered in dirt
and he urged Jake to stand up so he could finish cleaning him up.
Jake was exhausted and limp and Marco had to pull him to his feet and let Jake
lean against his chest while he gently cleaned the dirt off.
“We need to get your pants back on,” Marco said quietly, he didn’t want to
break the mood.  Jake pushed off Marco’s chest and managed to stand on his own,
still swaying slightly.  Marco bent down and lifted each of Jake’s feet into
the leg holes of his jeans.  After he pulled them up and got them rebuttoned he
helped Jake settle back down to the ground.
Jake looked half asleep.  “You doing okay?” Marco asked.  He figured any deeper
question than that could wait until later.  Jake nodded.  “Okay, want to lay
down?” he asked, gesturing towards his lap.  Jake had enough energy to look
skeptical.  “What,” Marco said, cracking a half smile.  “Don’t I look cuddly?
 Come on, man, once in a lifetime offer.”
He almost felt normal saying those words, and it seemed to put Jake at ease,
because Jake laid down, letting his head rest in Marco’s lap.  Marco laid a
hand on Jake’s head, not quite petting his hair.  “Alright, I gotcha,” he told
Jake.  It didn’t take long for Jake to fall asleep.
It didn’t fix anything, Marco knew.  As soon as Jake woke up he’d have to go
right back to the Hork-Bajir settlement and be the leader.  They were all
depending on him to see them through the end of this war.  But it wouldn’t mean
anything to Marco if he didn’t try his hardest to make sure Jake made it out
with them.
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