Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/5204123.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Homestuck
  Relationship:
      John_Egbert/Karkat_Vantas
  Character:
      John_Egbert, Karkat_Vantas
  Additional Tags:
      tentabulge, Bulges_and_Nooks, Sex, boy_sex, Xenophilia, Con-Air, nook
      sex, Stupid_Boys, John_is_in_denial, One-Shot, johnkat_-_Freeform, Nic
      Cage, Troll_Anatomy, Mixed_POV, POV_Third_Person, smol_karkat, big_john,
      kind_of_both_top_though, Horns, hornplay, only_a_little_though, butt
      stuff
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-11-16 Words: 1479
****** Boy Parts ******
by homo_suck_homo_stuck_(WitchBoyWriter)
Summary
     John wants to watch Con-Air and Karkat thinks he's in love with Nic
     Cage.
     John is NOT a homosexual
Notes
     Hah, I wrote this while I had no internet access. I hope it's okay.
     This is my first Homestuck work, but I've done Homestuck RPs and
     stuff.
     And I know part of it may seem a little transphobic, but remember
     these babs don't have anyone to teach them about being open minded
     about stuff like that.
See the end of the work for more notes
It had all started with a simple conversation. John was telling Karkat about
Con-Air (again), and trying to convince him how amazing Nic Cage is. Or... was?
Did Nic Cage even exist anymore?
Anyway, Karkat wasn't buying it. He was glowering and crossing his arms,
sulking next to John on the sofa. When John stopped talking for air, Karkat
immediately seized the opportunity and started ranting. "Oh, for fuck's sake
John! How flushed are you for this Nic Cage human, anyway? I mean, you never
stop talking about him, and you're constantly watching his movies. What does
this ugly-ass, pasty, sad excuse for an actor even have that's good?" John
blinks, taking a moment to remember the troll quadrants, before blushing.
"What?! I'm not... I mean... Karkat I told you I'm not gay! Remember, when you
were hitting on me, remember?"
Now it's Karkat's turn to blush. He huffs, and sinks into the couch. "I'm over
you." he mutters. "I told you." It was half true. He was over his black
feelings for John. They had just... migrated a little into the red category.
Now that the embarrassing event of confessing his feelings was on his mind,
Karkat starts yelling about it. "Anyway, that wasn't even fair! You have no way
of knowing if Alternian gender is even the same as Earth gender! For all you
know I'm not a boy at all, you ignorant shitbag." It's quiet for a moment, and
John's face falls.
"Wow... Gee.. I guess you're right. Sorry I just kind of assumed... Are you a
boy, Karkat?" he asks, and Karkat rolls his eyes.
"Yeah, I'm a boy, of course. I act like it, don't I? And do I look like I have
stupid bouncy fat sacks on my chest?" Karkat asks, gesturing to said chest.
John shrugs.
"Well then there you go, you're a boy... but boobs aren't the only thing that
makes a girl, you know."
"Oh yeah? What else?" Karkat asks, and John blushes.
"Oh, come on, are you going to make me say it?" Karkat shrugs.
"Well I don't see the problem. They're basically the same parts, right?" John
wrinkles his nose in slight confusion.
"Wait, do troll boys and girls have the same stuff?"he asks, and Karkat nods,
replying,
"What, humans don't?" John shakes his head, biting his lip, then smiling.
"Hey, we can teach each other! See any paper or anything anywhere?" Karkat
groans.
"I do not need a human anatomy lesson from Egderp." he says, scowling, blushing
slightly. John sighs, thinking.
"Well... I guess if there's no paper... um... we can... just show each other? I
mean, you did say you were over me, so it wouldn't be too weird... right?" he
looks over at Karkat, who looks back, incredulous.
"Are you fucking serious?" John shrugs, and Karkat thinks about it. It was a
little intriguing to know about human anatomy.... and.... well, it was John's
anatomy, which was a plus... and the fact that John "Not a Homosexual" Egbert
was perfectly willing to just strip down in front of him was sort of a
blessing. He sighs. "Fine. But you first." John sighs.
"Okay, but only my shirt first, then yours." he says, before tugging at his
shirt. It catches on his glasses, giving Karkat a moment to stare at John's
chest without him noticing. He looks away just as John gets his shirt
completely off. "Okay, Karkat, now you." John says, crossing his arms over his
tan, smooth chest. Karkat sighs, grumbling about being objectified as he pulls
off his oversized sweater. He drops it aside, feeling self-conscious about his
small, soft, slightly chubby frame next to John's toned muscles. He catches
John looking at the red markings on his side and blushes.
"Um... they're where my legs were when I was a grub..." he explains. John
grins.
"That's cool! So you actually used to be a grub?" Karkat nods, and John, still
smiling that goofy smile, says, "That sounds adorable!" Karkat, face flaming,
pushes John.
"H-hey! Shut the fuck up!" he says, and John laughs, pushing Karkat back
playfully.
"Nope, I bet you were a super cute baby." John says, and Karkat crosses his
arms, growling and sitting back with a pout on his face. "Okay... I'll stop."
John says, sighing. Karkat nods, sitting back up and looking at John.
"Good. Now take your fucking pants off so we can keep on investigating." he
says, trying not to look too eager. John complies, pushing off the pajama-like
god tier pants, leaving his underwear on.
"Your turn." he says to Karkat, crossing his legs. Karkat nods, shoving at his
jeans, tossing them over with the rest of their clothes. He can't help but
stare at John, and blushes when he notices John staring back.
"Boxers." he says, voice wavering slightly, and pushes them down agonizingly
slow, before dropping them aside. Karkat blinks at his... bulge? What was it?
"What the fuck is that?" he asks. and John turns bright red.
"Um... a penis?" he says, and Karkat shrugs.
"Well it's weird." he says, pushing his own underwear down, throwing them
across the room. He shifts a little uncomfortably under John's stare.
"It looks kind of like a girl." John observes, and Karkat shrugs.
"My bulge only shows when I'm turned on..." he explains. John nods.
"Well mine looks different that way, too." he says. Without thinking, Karkat
blurts out,
"Can I see?" then, if possible, blushes deeper. "I-I mean..." he starts, at the
same time John says,
"Only if I can see yours." Karkat stops, then the smallest of smiles plays at
his lips.
"I thought you weren't a homosexual John.” he teases, and John hides his face
in his hands to hide his blush.
“Sh-shut up! It’s only for scientific reasons!” Karkat shrugs.
“Well, I can’t get turned on without help.” he says, and John nods.
“Yeah... Okay... for science, right?” he says, voice wavering slightly, and
Karkat rolls his eyes.
“Yeah, sure. For science.” he says, and John moves closer to him, crawling over
him and pushing him back, hand on his chest. Karkat lets out a soft sound,
shivering and reaching up to wrap his arms around John’s neck. John ducks down,
skimming his lips over Karkat’s throat, and Karkat breathily moans. John gasps
and lets out a tiny moan of his own. In Karkat’s opinion, John was going far
too slow. He leans up, flipping their positions so that he’s straddling John’s
hips. John looks up at him, blushing and surprised. Karkat lets out a low
growl, and sucks hard at John’s neck. The larger boy moans, hands gripping
Karkat’s hair, fingers brushing his horns. At this, Karkat gasps, and John must
take this as a hint, because now he’s rubbing and playing with the horns,
causing Karkat to moan and bite slightly into John’s neck. Suddenly one of his
horns is surrounded by wet heat, and he realizes John is sucking on it. He
cries out, gripping John’s shoulders, and leaning up into the pressure. He
feels his bulge unsheathe itself, and wrap around John’s weird human version,
and the heat on his horn is gone, because the human is too busy moaning out
Karkat’s name. Both boys look down, noting the changes in their genitalia.
Karkat’s bulge lazily strokes John’s thigh.
“W-well now we know...” John stammers out, and Karkat nods, clearing his
throat.
“Yeah...” he breathes out.
“Um... well... too late to stop now, I guess.” John says, and Karkat looks up
at him, flushed face looking surprised.
“Okay, well, if you think so.” he says. “Are we gonna... I mean... do you want
to...?” John nods, blushing darkly. Karkat leans down, using all his courage to
kiss John hard on the mouth. He’s luckily kissed back immediately., and pulled
closer. His bulge, on it’s own accord, pulls John’s human bulge inside of him,
and snaked back, prodding John’s entrance. Both boys freeze, and Karkat blushes
darkly. “I-I can’t control it!” he says quickly, and John nods. “I-it’s okay.”
he says, and they start kissing again, John thrusting into Karkat, Karkat’s
bulge pushing into John, moving in and out of him. Occasionally one or the
other whined, and neither could stop moaning. When he feels himself get close,
he’s too far gone to think about getting a bucket, and letting out a long moan,
he releases, filling John. The human is right behind him, moaning and climaxing
inside of him.
After a moment, John speaks up. “That’s... um... that was a lot of... stuff.”
he says, most likely about Karkat’s genetic material filling him up. Karkat
nods.
“I guess humans don’t have a lot.” he says, and John nods. Karkat’s bulge
retracts, and John shivers, and pulls out of him. Karkat lays on John’s chest.
“Hey, Karkat?”
“What John?”
“I think I might be a little gay.”
End Notes
     Roleplayers go ahead and ask for my email, and point out any mistakes
     you see.
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